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serin316 · 9 months

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Acceptance of a True State (transfem tim caroline hill)

First installment

Current installment under the cut

He had tried to ignore how the name "Timothy" grated along his skin.

How Caroline was like a balm to soothe a burn.

He flopped onto his bed at the Manor, groaning as he and Dick came back from an outing with Damian for some art supplies.

He was getting into weaving.

Good for him.

It was after dinner, so they just were left to their own devices. It was a low energy day for most of the house.

The Caroline wig needed cleaning. Tim washed and blowdried it in his bathroom before trying to brush it one handed since she forgot his maniquin head at the Nest.

She grumbled before putting it on so he could brush it like a regular head of hair.

She paused when he saw how she looked in the mirror.

The collision of Tim and Caroline.

Tim's clothes and Caroline's wig and it was like seeing two worlds meld into one and she just wanted to deny it and push her head underneath her pillows and hide in their closet like a scared kid hiding from shapes made from the shadow of clothes on a stray chair during the night.

She took a breath and brushed out her hair, becoming used to the sight in the mirror.

It made sense, from how she felt ever since Caroline became part of the closet. A section just for her.

The name Caroline fit better than Tim, but it didn't feel like a name she would keep. Why would it?

Caroline was an alias, someone to dissapear in.

She wasn't meant to dissapear.

She responded more readily to Caroline because it was the lesser of two evils.

Caroline was a stepping stone thrown at crack in the wall which tears down the entire fortress.

Peices of her were in Caroline, same thing with Alvin.

Caroline just felt more right. More like her.

The color of hair she chose for Caroline looked a few shades darker than Janet's. Like her mother was passing down a revalation in place of the love she forfiet in life.

She finished brushing her hair, debating what hairstyle to test out before doing a final brushing and storing it.

She put her hair into a high and messy bun, just holding it up to see how it would look.

That was her.

Completely and utterly her.

Timothy was based off of old Greek, right? It meant honor or honoring God.

She picked up her phone and scrolled through some baby name sites, seeing Minta cross her screen while she was curled up on the bathroom floor in a newly washed wig.

She scrolled back up, reading the meaning.

Protector and defender.

She looked at the name it was contracted from.

Araminta

She tapped on the hyperlink.

One of the meanings was strength.

It fit.

Minta smiled as a wave of relief flowed through her.

She didn't want to hide it. She was done living in denial. Araminta didn't care anymore.

She had her crisis, and now had her answer.

She had her big deal.

Now? When she done and that it was true?

It's a fact of her life now.

She opened up the family groupchat.

Selected her profile.

And changed it to something stupid about her name.

Ara-Ara

Save new change?

Saved.

Ara-Ara: Was anyone going to tell me that an alias could crack an egg or was caroline just SUPPOSED to trans my gender

Where's the B: Not many people crossdress for cases so yes, Caroline Hill was just supposed to make you realize that you are transgender.

Grayninja: CONGRATS BABY BIRD!!

DamiDolls: good for you, i am robbing your drawers for cufflinks at swordpoint in an hour

Wanted Dead Or Alive: congrats kid

Goo Goobie: that's good to know! why do i have a feeling from your display name that you named yourself after an evil anime lady

Princess Cass has sent a thumbs up and a trans flag

Princess Cass: im happy for you

Brighthouse Networks: neat!

Twilight Sparkle: girls(?) onlu shopping trip when??

Ara-Ara reacted to Goo Goobie with a laughing emote

Ara-Ara reacted to Twilight Sparkle with a purple heart.

Ara-Ara: my name is Araminta

Alfred Pennyworth: Drat, I lost the bet with Miss Kyle. That is quite a fine name Mistress Araminta.

Grayninja: wait

Grayninja: we now have the abcs

Grayninja: araminta, bruce, and cass

Where's The B: Yes, a dad and his daughters

Princess Cass sent three yellow hearts.

Ara-Ara: yk i have never truely played dress up

The chat went quiet before the thundering of footsteps echoed in the hall.

Dick and Steph got through her bedroom door first before blocking everyone else off to affronted screams. Steph had clothes in her arms that Caroline wouldn't be caught dead wearing.

Araminta grinned at them from the bathroom doorway.

"Minta, want to do a fashion show?"

"Hell yeah!"

#marthas pearls were involved after bruce was able to get them through the door #transfem tim drake #caroline hill #batfamily #tim drake #tim drake wayne #batman #red robin dc #trans tim drake

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hippolotamus · 5 months

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10 please and D and P or H and T!!

Hi, friend!!!! I have completely given up on trying to contain my word count for these 😅 While the majority of the song is very David Rose, my brain latched onto the final verse for Tim. Putting it under the cut because 595 words 🫠

send me 1-100 and i'll write you a drabble based on the corresponding song

“I missed you, Skippy.”

The words are a balm as much as they are a cut. A stabbing reminder of everything Tim can’t have. Could never have, really. Hawk was never his to keep. And as impossible as their love was before, it’s even more so now. Because Hawk belongs to Lucy. He’s a family man, a paragon of virtue within his world. Even if it’s all a lie.

Tim can’t help but hate himself for the fraction of a second where he gives in to the fantasy that is loving and being loved by Hawkins Z. Fuller. He pretends that this moment is real and yearns to live in it forever, briefly considering bargaining with God if only he could be granted this one thing. This speck of time when Hawk is holding him, cherishing him. When he feels the warm brush of lips against his neck and jaw, the light scrape of stubble against his cheek, the fingers tangling in his hair and the hand at his back, as if Hawk truly wants to keep him. He smells the musky scent of cologne, mixed with Tide and a unique aroma that could only belong to Hawk.

It takes him back to a rented room in 1952 and a crackling radio playing swoony love songs to cover the sound of their immorality. To stolen moments when they raised their middle fingers to God and loved with abandon. Because that’s what it was – love. Not sin. Not a mistake. Love. At least for Tim.

And that thought strikes him like lightning, grounding him to the present. To the reality that is. The one where Hawk says he misses Tim, while the family Hawk left him for waits a quarter mile up the road in the main house. Presumably none the wiser.

He wants to ask Hawk what exactly it is he misses. Is it the sex? The relative safety of someone he didn’t have to hide his secrets from (even though Tim is certain there were many between them)? But he doesn’t do that, because it will accomplish nothing. Instead he talks about Father Lawrence, and the possibility of holding two truths.

He lets the pain of his words sink in and reflect in Hawk’s eyes, and he hopes they do hurt. Even if it will never be the same, Tim needs some validation in the form of knowing Hawk is in a fraction of the amount of anguish Tim has been carrying in his heart, like a slow-acting poison, for the last fifteen years.

When Hawk’s inner turmoil – whether it be real or imagined – retreats behind a familiar mask of indifference, Tim accepts the tainted gift for what it is. Possibly the closest he will ever come to hurting the bulletproof Mr. Fuller.

“Please leave.” Tim doesn’t have to ask twice before Hawk is out the door again, leaving him to the heavy silence of his makeshift sanctuary.

He kneels in front of the stone fireplace, clasping his hands together, unsure what to think or say. What could he confess or ask forgiveness for? Because how, as he had once disclosed to the Army priest, could love be a sin? This love that blooms eternal in Timothy Laughlin’s heart for one Hawkins Fuller, no matter how he tries to trample it like a pesky weed. This love that he’s certain will taunt him for eternity, perhaps into the afterlife, and never let him go.

Tim closes his eyes and begins to speak, praying the rest will come of its own accord. “Dear Heavenly Father…”

tagging some other beloveds who might be interested @stereopticons @statueinthestone @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @exhuastedpigeon @watchyourbuck @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @legalgal421

#feel free to ignore if it’s not your jam #hawk x tim #god these two have me by the throat #fellow travelers #Spotify drabble asks #hippo writes

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anna-no-emma · 1 year

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Dick Grayson has more love than he knows what to do with. He believes in love despite dealing with cruelty every night on Gotham’s streets.

Jason Todd wants the world to be a fairer place than it is. He knows the world is unfair. But that hasn’t stopped him from believing things can and should be better. After he died, he didn’t stop believing in justice. He just decided that, in a world where money can buy you impunity - a world where the rich play by their own set of rules while forcing the poor to play a rigged game, the only way to make things fair is to kill the people who will otherwise never stop exploiting those more vulnerable than themselves.

Jason can’t do that thing Dick does. He can’t love everyone. Not many people can. He has plenty of love for the vulnerable; the working class family just trying to make ends meet, the single mom who’s sure she won’t make it to tomorrow, for the hooker, the addict, and even the thief. But when it comes to those who purposefully, and proudly, inflict suffering on others....Jason hates, oh how he hates.

But Jason knows he’s playing judge, jury and executioner. And he takes no joy in the act of killing. So he does his research carefully, meticulously. He needs to know that this person is a)guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and b) entirely untouchable by the justice system. And he likes to accept money for his kills. It makes him a mercenary, instead of some asshole playing god.

It’s the reason that Dick will never totally give up on his baby brother. No matter what Jason does, all Dick can see is that kid who wants the world to be just and who is going to do his damnedest to make it that way.

Timothy Drake likes to test the limits of what he is capable of. He likes to see what he can do. But, with every new challenge, he’s discovered the limits are shrinking. Technically, he can do anything. The last limits are not “can” he, but “should” he. For example, he can permanently take down a human trafficking ring with one well-timed murder. Nobody will ever even know. He could get away with it, easy. He doubts he’ll even feel bad about it. But should he? Probably not.

When in doubt, Tim looks to Dick. Being good comes naturally to Dick. And it’s not some theoretical moral good. It is a goodness that come from love, from caring for his fellow human beings so deeply.

Tim has to work double as hard as everyone else not to just do things just because he can. He has to force himself to go the long way around every time, and it’s exhausting. But it’s what makes him the best Robin. He chooses to be good, again and again.

Damian Wayne has lived a life that demands perfection. In his mother’s world, a mistake means death. In his father’s, it means rejection. Bruce’s love feel’s like a tap, and that man knows how to turn it on and off at will. He aches to be loved. He knows his mother sent him away because she loves him (but it doesn’t feel like love, it feels like abandonment).

While grappling with rejection and abandonment, Dick’s love was like a balm for a wound Damian didn’t know he had. Dick just accepted Damian for who he was. Sure, Dick said something along the lines of “you cannot kill, you have to be better than this” but he followed it by showing Damian that “we can both be better. We’ll figure out how together. you are not alone”.

#dc #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin #had this in my drafts for months #don't know if i still agree #but i like it

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just-here-for-iolaus · 10 months

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Hercules in the Underworld

The great HTLJ/XWP/YH (re)watch continues!

I actually watched this AGES ago and took notes but am only now formatting this blog post.

First scene, I got overly excited, and my notes literally read "Iolaus!? But not, sadly." because our boy Michael Hurst shows up with black hair, and idec what's going on at this point because I just want to stare at him for the rest of the movie.

But the ground opens up and it's this whole thing and these two die. Boo.

The next thing I freaked out about was Timothy Balme in the credits!! I hadn't thought about it at all going into it, so I didn't know he was in the movie. (I know him mostly from Almighty Johnsons, as Mike Johnson, and for writing things I liked.)

Those credits were over a scene where a young woman was being bathed and groomed etc. It's kinda sus but we don't know what's up yet.

Then we get what is actually kind of an upsetting scene? This wrestler comes to town and the hype man is taking bet money from anyone who wants to challenge the wrestler... who then just immediately kills the first man. And his friend realllly flatly complains about it because that was his friend. Yeah, you sound heart-broken... but for some reason friend dude challenges the 'wrestler' who just literally killed someone, and he has no shot.

Then we get a really adorable reveal of Hercules with his kids and it made me happy to see him after that awful scene. He's asked to come deal with the killer in town, and so he arrives to challenge him. There's a long fight, bla bla, Hercules wins. Then it's revealed that this whole thing was Hera just causing problems to annoy Hercules and WOW is that awful.

Several men are dead because Hera blames Hercules for Zeus's infidelity... what else is new?

Hercules quite reasonably destroys the shrine to Hera outside the town.

Then Zeus comes and complaings to Herc about how he should complain less about Hera's bs? And be more grateful for how great his life is, because he has a wife and kids/happy home life and that's "more than [Zeus] ever had" which is like... confusing?? He's the king of the gods? Surely he could have had a nice wife if he'd wanted one? IDK. I don't get Zeus. And I get him less the more I see.

Herc rightfully points out that he's worked very hard to get this nice life, and I feel much more annoyed at Zeus on Herc's behalf than he is. Hercules has grown on me so much haha.

My notes: "I kept waiting for Hercules to come home to his wife and kids dead. XD" "How do we still have a wife and kids and no Iolaus???"

Luckily Herc goes home and there's a cute scene of him and his wife that shows their chemistry quite well. I liked Dei a lot here. Herc then goes and does chores but gets distracted by how much he loves his family and my FUCKING HEART. I love Hercules so much in this scene.

And he's hanging out with this centaur guy who, initially, excited me!

"A centaur! Not as well done visuals as they end up having for Cheiron in YH but fair enough."

Then this girl shows up and says she needs Herc's help in her town. We find out that the centaur doesn't like Hercules and worships Hera (even tho he works for Hercules?). He goes back to the house and gets into a confrontation with Dei where he implies that Hercules won't be faithful to her and then - (and this part makes my skin crawl) says that he can think of something else he can do better than Hercules, coming on to her. I thought this scene was unfortunately believable, both on how creepy he was and how Dei reacted.

"Die-a-nah-rah"? "Day-a-nee-rah"? Well the characters can't agree on how to say her name, so...

Dei encounters a lady who says the girl who came looking for help is trying to trick Hercules, so she goes to try to warn him. She leaves her kids with their aunt.

I got really excited, because the aunt's name is Althea (which is the name of my Young Hercules OC hahahahaha).

On the subject of names, the woman Herc is helping is named "Iole" but I definitely thought her name was "ailoli" at some point. But also why is Iole's name so similar to their daughter's name (Ilea)? WHAT IS WITH NAMES IN THESE MOVIES?? Just pick names that are more different PLEASE. Iole, Ilea, Iolaus, whyyyyy.

Anyway, off Dei goes to warn Herc but SURPRISE, Herc already knew all about it and he's convinced he'll never get seduced by anyone because the only person he loves enough to die for is Dei (sorry kids), so he sends her home with the centaur (Nessus) that tried it on the night before.

Disappointingly, Nessus tries to assault Dei, who yells for help, and Herc... Shoots a single arrow. From a huge distance. To kill Nessus without visual. She didn't say "Hercules, help, Nessus is attacking me" she just yelled for help and... I can suspend my disbelief for a lot in these movies but this was just ridiculous. He could have easily killed his wife here. JFC.

Anyway Nessus is dying and whines to Hera about it, but then tells Dei his blood is magic and if she puts her cloak (which absorbed his blood) on Herc, he'll always be loyal to her. Even in the scene this doesn't make a lot of sense, but he claims it's because he loves Dei.

Herc (to his credit) does come to Dei. He blames himself for what's happened and offers to go home, but Dei... tells him not to? Urges him to help Iole? It's a bit odd. But she says she has to help those people and she gives him the cloak and tells him to use it at night when he's cold and think only of her.

Herc and Iole get to some town where a man is just going apeshit destroying a pub or whatever, and Iole uses her special virgin powers to calm him down and figure out that he burned his tongue on soup and would have explained but couldn't talk because he was in too much pain, and he just needs a drink of water... and the guy is immediately calm. Like a toddler or animal. Except that he's a grown man, so this whole scene makes no sense whatsoever. I assumed this was some sort of like "oh, see, Iole argued with Herc that they should try talking" callback to Dei previously or something, but it's actually a set up for something else.

WE SEE TIM. He's clearly watching Iole.

But I just got so excited because I love familiar faces.

There's a scene where Iole and Herc are camping out and she tells him a story about two lovers in the stars who are destined never to reach each other... And I was like WHY AREN'T YOU USING YOUR WIFE'S CLOAK? Guess it was a balmy night.

A Tim Balme-y night.

Creeper character that he is, he's stalking Iole and we get a scene which is basically just more fanservice where Iole swims around naked (save for all her jewelry) and Lycastus (we don't know his name yet, but I feel bad calling him Tim here) watches her the whole time making wanton faces. It drags on a bit, and Iole thinks it's Herc watching her so she's playing it up... Yikes.

Lycastus attacks Hercules, and Herc is like "I'm not gonna dirty my hands on you" or something but then when Lycastus attacks again he's like "the next thing to break is your neck" which is sort of the opposite of what he just said, but okay.

Anyway Herc knocks him out instead of killing him, Iole explains that she and Lycastus are in love, but that it doesn't matter because the only thing that does matter is saving her village. And off they go, leaving poor Lycastus alone and knocked out in the wilds.

They get to town and everyone's happy cuz Herc is there to save them. At this point I was still very confused why anyone thought Herc could help, because, I mean... it's a big hole with green shit coming out of it. Hercules can't exactly beat it into submission, you know?

Zeus shows up and tells Herc not to go down there because the only thing down there is death.

From my notes: "Hercules doesnt know if he’s mortal or not… and apparently neither does Zeus…??? Even though in the last movie they were like ZOMG IF YOU GO IN THE CIRCLE YOULL BE MORTAL. Guess that doesnt matter now?"

Seriously what is or isn't canon in this universe? XD

Anyway, Lycastus tries to tell Iole not to seduce Hercules, she's like "no, I love you, but I have to do this" but then these two start making out!! She's like "no, I can't (bone you right here right now)" but he argues that she wants to, and she's just like "yeah, but I can't" and Herc shows up right then to tell her that he just can't bring himself to go in that hole (in the ground).

Iole then strips and tries to convince Herc to do it for her, but he's like "nah, this is really uncomfortable, sorry" and isn't interested at all and honestly... his face when she starts dropping her dress? He seems so like "what is she doing?".

This is not a man who was ever going to cheat on his wife.

I'm still wondering if maybe he's kinda demisexual? Like he needs to form a certain kind of bond with someone before he considers them sexually attractive? Not important, just a thought.

HILARIOUSLY, on his way out of the tent he's like "Hey Lycastus, take care of her" which makes me wonder if he knew Lycastus was there the whole time, and chose to cockblock him when he entered, or...? XD

And it's only now, when Herc is deciding to go home, that he puts on Dei's cloak for the first time. It starts beating him up (really, just, watch the scene, there's no other way to describe it?) and when he finally gets it off, it turns into a peacock (for Hera) before disappearing entirely.

This drives him to throw himself into the hole because... he's mad at the gods?

Unfortunately someone runs and tells Dei that Herc is dead because there was a cloak that drove him mad. She believes he's dead and that it's her fault.

Then we get treated to more Michael Hurst (as Charon the Boatman, so a little less photogenic than usual), who informs Hercules that he's still alive. I thought it was kinda rude Herc stole his lantern (especially after getting a free boat ride) but I suppose even heroes can have flaws. (I say, knowing full well I will never blame Iolaus for stealing anything ever.)

Dei then, uh... walks to a cliff, thinking about Hercules, I think with the intention of killing herself already, but then it's implied that Hera gives her a vision of Herc reaching out to her, and she walks off trying to reach back to him? I'm not sure if Hera's involvement was needed, but maybe they wanted to soften the suicide angle a bit. But like, why would she have even been there otherwise, dressed like that and having flashbacks of him... ANYWAY.

There's a really weird scene where these three "women" come to Hercules in the underworld and start like, seducing him, I guess? And he keeps picturing sexy times with his wife (clips from earlier) and repeating her name... until he snaps out of it and kills(?) them.

Basically the dead are all after Hercules. Especially the villains he killed. Herc pits the villains against each other to get away. Honestly the fighting gets boring.

Nessus reveals himself to Herc and explains how he betrayed him. He reveals that Dei killed herself because she blamed herself for his death. Herc tricks Nessus into opening the portal to where Dei is (to "show" her to Herc) and Herc jumps through it. (Suck it, Nessus.)

Herc finds Dei, but she doesn't remember him. Hades shows up and (I actually thought quite reasonably) explained that he had erased the pain that brought her there, and that she was dead but basically happy. It's a reward for her good life. Herc says he's gonna take her home and Hades tries to explain that that's just, not really how death works.

He also claims that her memory can't be restored. But the moment Herc kisses her, she gets her memories back, so... that was incorrect.

Fortunately for Herc, Hades is dealing with a problem right now. Hercules offers to catch Cerberus for Hades in exchange for Dei leaving with Herc. They make the deal, even tho Hades is doubtful it will happen. And for some reason tries to raise the stakes on the bet by saying if Herc fails then she's Hades's forever?

From my notes: "I kind of loved Hades? He was actually being pretty kind to Deianeira etc. and it was reasonable for him to make a deal with Hercules. Eventually Dei will die though so like… IDK that was kind of a weird like IF YOU FAIL SHE IS MINE FOREVER like yeah I guess if you die, you're dead forever? IDK."

How does death normally work in this world??

The underworld guards were actually so funny. Some really interesting/fun costume stuff and fake limbs, etc. But clearly they were limited with the budget/technology of the time.

To quote my notes: "Speaking of visuals, Cerberus is… rough…" (Not even so much the practical props, but the CGI.. yikes)

But Hercules manages to not only find, but corner Cerberus, and, remembering the TONGUE BURNING SCENE FROM EARLIER, is able to calm him down and get him back to his post instead of killing him. That's great and all, but I think the whole thing would have been better if that first scene had been about a child or animal and not a grown man.

To their credit, the guards seemed quite satisfied with the whole thing. I liked these guys haha.

Getting Hades back to normal saves the village, as the hole closes up. Iole apologizes to Herc and Dei, then announces that she's gonna start a family with Lycastus. Herc and Dei have some PDA in the town which makes me wanna gag just a little bit.

Zeus then comes to visit his family and he and Herc chat about whether or not Hercules is immortal, and apparently Herc doesn't care either way.

The movie ends on Herc being asked to help someone again (almost played for laughs? But not by the characters, at least).

Final thoughts:

Overall, a pretty solid plot.

I can't get over how stupid the soup scene is. Literally just needed it to be a kid or an animal in a similar scenario to solve that issue. It was great that it came back when dealing with Cerberus, but the initial scene itself was a mess.

I wanted to see more of Lycastus, not because his plot felt unfinished, but just because I actually really liked the character and it was Tim haha.

Once again I ask: How do we still have a wife and kids and no Iolaus???

I was not surprised that Dei died. But BOY was I surprised that Dei didn't stay dead. WTF.

On that note, I really like Dei. I liked how certain she was initially of her bond with Herc and that it was only after she was convinced that there was treachery afoot that she went to warn him (and I love that she was trying to WARN him, not be all jealous - she was told he would die, so of course she'd want to warn him)!

I also really liked Hercules's loyalty and the love he showed throughout the movie for his wife and kids. It's very endearing.

WHERE IS THIS GOING? How does this become the TV show?? XD

#the great (re)watch #hercules the legendary journeys #hercules in the underworld #htlj #htlj movies

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