#This is the first time I've tried to make a printed thing so i hope people enjoy it!
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Hello! I made a snail coloring book!
Its my first coloring book and I worked really hard to make it fun! It has full coloring scenes, make-your-own snails, and a few snails that reference other things!
Snail Coloring Book
I hope you enjoy, and have an AWESOME day!!
#snail#coloring book#self publishing#coloring#This is the first time I've tried to make a printed thing so i hope people enjoy it!#also self-portrait reveal i guess XD
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that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine
#brought to you by: i think one of my feelings lately of A Shift is in my less than ever running this like continuous background function of#looking for Thee Answer (just like the black suits) in any & everything that could serve as the Key to like. whatever could fit into place#to like set things on a [hell yeah. life? better] path. juxtaposing this recent sense of things with the [lol. in retrospect i Do see a new#context wherein i can Recognize smthing abt myself] past going on of like. granpa greentext story be me be fifteen i'm in college b/c i hat#school i also mostly assumed i'd probably fail out freshman yr but didn't. i've never known what i'd wanna major in & as a sophomore i'm de#supposed to figure it out in time for scheduling my jr yr classes (though Ideally have known from the start / been scheduling thusly) & so#many evenings during dinner i'm furiously perusing the daily print news as i've been doing for some yrs to Keep Up W/Current Events but now#also consciously like ''boy i hope in the course of doing this i stumble across some info that sparks some eureka moment of Getting what my#major should Obviously be so i can understand the rest of my life around [do job] b/c i sure as hell don't understand it around [be married#much less [be parent] so one option remains obvi'' whereas now i realize like lol you Were figuring out a guiding light in doing so & that#perspective being honed was one of Having A Political Analysis times....which also provides another Example of [only being able to interpre#what makes your life & your world the way it is: via Your Personal Failures to have already Had Better] in that just like i often forget i#misguidedly (but also reasonably; clearly also using & seeking that autonomy & freedom) tried to have a better existence within the#situation i was in by Coming Out As Trans to parents via an email that was then not directly discussed ever; b/c any legitimate discussion#was not permissible like how so many matters of [supposed correct existence] are Unspeakable so as to be Unquestionable#languaging that succeeds & sustains itself having to be expansive / flexible / creative / evolving too. Making Up Words hell yes#anyways so i also forget i Did try to propose majoring in things that Did more approach what i was suspecting were things i'd wanna do#but even the first like expression of anything on the periphery of that was met with ''no you'd hate it b/c you'd have to deal w/Stupid Ppl#every day'' (by which was meant; with believed inherent synonymity: poor people) & then i also will oft forget i pushed for it any further#which i Know i did b/c of it next being met with angry & aggressive ''i've never heard you talk abt that interest before So''#(wonder why? withholding info to protect yourself=finding room in one's life for existing more freely; exercising the autonomy to Do That)#but it's easy to forget b/c The All Encompassing Perspective was rather [i'm sure Failing to just Know my major for the sole possibility fo#defining one's entire life: The Correct Dream Job] & then Failing to push it or just express it & be understood ''correctly'' even if i Did#have any ideas in that realm. vs seeing how i Was succeeding & was recognizing shit & pursuing it & looking out for myself & etccc#it's undeniable lol like the framing even that Blaming Oneself is an autonomy seeking response. b/c your autonomous power in your own life#sure Would be more immediate if Everything Really Was Your Fault (when ofc really this is abt obscuring & denying the responsibility of ppl#who have the power over others' lives & then have to act like this is all the fault of the Others; they themselves have never Truly Chosen)#no victim blaming no condemnation of anyone's ''passivity'' here babey#re: the undeniability it's how like. maybe you've only Just realized you're not cis but in doing so it's like ''oh That's what i already#recognizing in various ways throughout my whole life'' it's all always Been there/going on & perspex shifts + new lenses can reveal them
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@steddiemas Day 22: Santa Shenanigans
Steve was going to kill Robin.
Well, not really because he doesn't think he'd survive more than a couple days without her. But he'd certainly be giving her the stink eye next shift for suggesting a secret Santa between the older ones of the party.
"We just rog it so that I get Vickie and she'll fall madly in love with me, it's a perfect plan Steve!"
To her credit it was an ok plan.
"Last week you spent an hour bemoaning the fact that she smiled at a boy."
"But yesterday she spent two hours studying with me in the library!"
Steve rolled his eyes at her shenanigans but agreed nonetheless. They drew names the next time they had all gone out for burgers at the diner. Steve tried not to make it obvious when he saw who his name was. Eddie.
Steve wasn't disappointed, no, far from it, he'd been hiding a crush on the older boy for a few months now, let's just say Eddie spent a lot of time by Steve's pool last summer. But now he felt the pressure to get him the perfect gift. The plan hadn't even worked for Robin.
"I got Argyle! Now how will I win her heart."
"Could always plant some mistletoe."
"You're a genius! Who'd you get."
"It's Secret Santa, Rob's, it's meant to be secret."
"Boo you're no fun, bet it's me."
It took Steve weeks to finish his gift for Eddie and Steve found himself hastily wrapping it the morning of their little Christmas party, grateful that Robin had thought of the plan well in advance otherwise he'd have never finished.
Steve greeted everyone and watched as they placed their secret Santa gifts under the tree. They ate, laughed and picked a Christmas movie to watch after presents. One by one they opened their gifts.
Nancy got Vickie some water colour paints.
Argyle got Jonathan rolls of fresh film.
Jonathan got Nancy some new notepads with larger covers.
Robin got Argyle a big bright tie dye shirt with Groovy printed on the front, he quickly put it over the sweater he was already wearing.
Vickie turned to Robin and Steve quickly saw her cheeks start to redden. She passed her the gift and Robin unwrapped a bag full of pins and badges.
"I've been collecting them for a few weeks for you from around town and around where I went to visit my grandma, thought your work vest needed some more fun ones."
Robin grinned widely at Vickie, the effort making a big impact on her. Steve knew he'd be hearing about it for weeks but he hoped the mistletoe in the kitchen sped things along.
Steve was about to give Eddie his gift when he realised that this meant Eddie also got him for Secret Santa. He turned to the metalhead to find him already shyly holding out a gift.
"It's not much but I hope you like it, Stevie."
Steve unwrapped the small package to find a collection of mixtapes inside, Eddie's handwriting clearly scribbled on the side.
"I started making a mixtape of songs that made me think of you but U ran out of room on the first one and might've gotten carried away," he said shyly scratching his neck.
Steve glanced over the names of the songs and it was clear that the majority of them certainly wouldn't remind someone of their dear platonic friend. Steve smiled softly at him and passed him his gift.
"I think I know what you mean."
Eddie slightly confused at the statement unwrapped the gift, his mouth forming a small o looking inside. He took out the book, a worn copy of The Hobbit that Steve had thrifted as soon as he knew Eddie was his secret Santa.
"Stevie, you know I've got this one, it's my favourite," he said slightly awkwardly.
"Look inside."
Eddie slowly opened the book to see small dribbles of ink between the words. The handwriting clearly Steve's. As he flicked through he saw Steve's thoughts spilling into almost every page.
"It's your favourite and you're always wanting me to read it so I did, I thought it'd be fun if you saw exactly what I thought of it."
Eddie's eyes caught on one of the words near the end, a small red shape next to them, yeah, he thinks he and Steve are on the same page, but he'd wait until the end, no spoilers early after all.
"I love it, Stevie, thank you."
As Steve sat curled up next to Eddie on the couch watching the film he too had the same thought, definitely on the same page.
Ao3
#Vickie just looks like shed like water colouring#some people hate when people annotate i dont mind#enjoy a book how you want to its your experience#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#st christmas#steddiemas#rockie#background robin and vickie#stobin#how is it week 4 already of steddiemas
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I'm not the best writer when it comes to writing convincing essays or whatever, but I'm going to give this a go because it's something that I've thought for a long time that I've never seen anyone really acknowledge unless I bring it up first. (also I am sick and don't really want to do much editing here, just rambles, so good luck)
I think that when most (not all, but most) people get salty about 'modern art', they are not salty about the things people think they are salty about. When they say "this isn't art", theres an important bit that they're not articulating. What I think most of them mean is "this isn't art that should be in a museum." "this isn't art that should cost this much" "this isn't art that should be getting this kind of recognition". And there is a huge difference between that and just saying "this isn't art"
Firstly, all of the arguments about why modern art is in fact art straight up....don't apply. They don't address the problem, they don't answer the question. This isn't really anyone's fault per se, given that it is addressing the literal statement, it's just I think most people aren't actually thinking that literal statement.
So then what do they really mean? Like I said, I think they're trying to articulate why they're frustrated that this art is in a museum when "they could do it". So when you say "okay then, you do it" that doesn't address the core issue, which is "but why is this getting recognition for it, and I would get none" because yes, unless they are famous, they would get Zero recognition for it. Nobody would be lining up to buy their art, no one would ask to put it in a museum. Best place they can hope to have this displayed is a fridge door.
When you look at a piece of fine art, most can see the amount of effort put into it. They see how much training it took to get there, they see how much time it took to put those strokes on that canvas and they can go "yeah, that took skill, that took effort, not everyone can do that. it deserves recognition". And a lot of modern art does take skill, it's just skill that isn't easily noticeable to the average viewer, such as rothko's color fields, they do take a lot of skill and effort, you just can't see it if you don't know. But a lot of modern art that people complain about isn't something that has skill that's not recognized, it just requires very little technical skill at all (not a condemnation, btw).
When you're talking about something 'anyone can do' that piece's value is often not a recognition of skill, or even of the message, it's a recognition of a name. It's similar to having a gucci bag because it's a gucci bag, not because you care remotely about the bag. Yes, art isn't displayed because of how much effort went into it, but it's a huge industry that many many people are making money through from sheer name recognition alone.
Like that one painting of that one artist's (I forget which artist and my cursory google isnt finding it, but also its just an example) where it got replicated and sold to a bunch of people for a large amount of money so they could all have something that had a small chance of being a genuine painting by the artist, that's an excellent example of the fact that a lot of the gallery-level art world is Entirely about the name, not about the piece itself. If someone just made that painting but didn't say it could be from the artist, then who cares?
If you go to ringo starr's art website (https://www.ringostarrart.com/) then you can see that some of his work, especially his older work, is of that category of stuff that many people would say "I could do that" to. For instance, these two? 1,400 and 6,000 pounds respectively for a PRINT of these from his website
....okay this one I kinda enjoy.
but still. 2,000 pounds for a print.
All of this is possible because he's ringo fucking starr, he can sell his paintings for whatever he wants. If I tried to sell those for that much, I'd be laughed out of the room. All of it is just clout, it's just how big your name is and how much you can use that as leverage.
This is not to say that other forms of art don't also have this issue, they do, especially with people devaluing creative works so much today. But you could probably get a few commissions if you sell realistic art or do commissions of people's characters, while you Cannot get any money trying to sell stuff like ringos art unless you already have an audience who will buy it.
This does somewhat lead into a discussion of how art curators pick which artists are 'good' somewhat arbitrarily, but that's a whole other post.
Doing art for 'yourself' vs for other people or money is also a whole other post, one which I've actually seen quite a lot on here. But suffice to say if your response to all of this is 'just make art for yourself! Why do you need recognition?' then maybe go find some of those posts. It's not bad to want recognition, and it's not bad to question why that guy is getting much more recognition for the exact same thing you're doing just because he has a bunch of rich friends who are able to host fancy parties and go 'hmm. yes this is good art.' (not that all modern artists had rich friends, but they did almost all get Extremely lucky in some shape or another that led to them now being widely accepted as good artists).
You cannot make a living off modern art unless you're well known, and if you happen to be well known already, you could likely make a living off modern art without having any experience, and that's what a lot of people hate about modern art, even if they don't articulate it. While some would, most wouldn't say "my five year old could do that" to someone's personal piece that they made themselves and hung up in their home, or that their friend made and gave to them. They say that about the pieces bought for thousands of dollars or millions of dollars.
And I don't want people to think that I do hate modern art, I don't (though this is tumblr, so I'm pissing on the poor just by writing this). I don't hate any of the famous modern artists, I don't think modern art isn't art. I do hate the industry that says their art is suddenly worth something just because some rich fuckers somewhere decided they should be, and anything I tried to do in a similar vein, original or not, would be better suited to sit in a coffee shop and continuously marked down and never sold.
So next time you say "so why don't you make it", maybe ask yourself if you would buy it.
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Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.
Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!
Dear Anon
I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.
i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.
i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.
i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.
i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.
I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.
i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?
i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.
June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.
SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.
I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.
im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.
TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.
#rj rambles#this is really long im sorry anon#i think my late comic blooming story is kinda important for people to hear#thankyou for giving me a reason to tell it
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It is Monday, and Monday is for books. Look at these beautiful things! They took me five months to make. I tried so many new things in the process and I am extremely proud of them. This is a binding of @racketghost's amazing Good Omens fic Strange Moons (Hi. I hope it's ok I tagged you in this. Your fic has been one of my favorites since I found it in 2019.) The story is a series of short fics (and one long one) that really need no introduction from me. They're set throughout the 20th century, and they are beautiful and sensual and moody and you should definitely read them if you haven't already. This is the longest work I've bound so far, but I was fortunate that the word count on the shorter fics added up to almost exactly the length of the final, longest one, making them the perfect choice for a two-volume set. I tried very hard to get them to be an exact match, and they turned out even better than I pictured.
More pics under the cut! Two books means twice the pics, and all the stuff I tried here means it's a very long post, so be warned.
Individual images of the covers. The titles are done in silver htv over brown faux leather, edged in charcoal bookcloth. The graphics are the same on both, except for the title text, and they have the same image of the reaching hands on the back. All the art assets are from rawpixel, I just flipped and rotated some of them to make the back image.
The cover materials were an interesting challenge. I'd worked with both before and wanted to incorporate them both in the design, but after measuring and checking grain direction I found I didn't have enough of either of them to do a full book, or even a half bind. So they're actually made by affixing the faux leather to the book board, then layering strips of book cloth over the top. The corners are actually mitered at a 45-degree angle. Here's a close-up:
It's two long strips of cloth (spine and fore edge, not mitered) with two short strips (top and bottom, mitered) glued over the top. There was so much measuring, omg. I bought a new tool to make sure I got it right. Hilariously, I still didn't have enough leather and had to order another roll anyway. Also hilariously, I got the idea to do this after seeing an image of a leather-bound book made by a professional that appeared to have the same feature, i.e. multiple materials with an inset and mitered corners. Wow, I said, looking at a video thumbnail, I'm going to do that! So I did, even though I didn't watch the video. Much later, after I watched his tutorial, it was clear that the design was from leather dye and tooling, not the thing that I did at all. But I do like the effect, and now I know it's possible I think it'll be great for using up weird offcuts from making other covers.
Look, spines! With TITLES on them! And LITTLE RIDGES! Both firsts for me. I'm a little obsessed with them. The cricut has opened up entirely new worlds, though I suspect the little silver lines might have been easier to do with a foil pen (which I don't have) than they were with a heat press. I did them by making the cricut cut out several "=" symbols that were the same width as the spine. The raised bands are false bands; I made them by layering little pieces of chipboard on the spine stiffener, then molding the book cloth around them when I covered them. I was worried it wouldn't work, since this is usually done with leather and book cloth is apparently way less stretchy, but it worked fine. Probably because it's a small straight design, no curves or fancy bits. I'd layer the chipboard thicker next time so they stand up higher (this is 2 layers, I'd do 3 in future) but I'm delighted by how this turned out. They look so professional.
The endpapers on both books are a constellation print. I had a really hard time trying to find something to go with the typeset, and the only ones I liked were from an etsy seller who kept selling out of them. I got lucky eventually but it was one of many hassles that befell this project. I also made my own end bands using a tutorial from the Renegade Bindery discord. I had some issues and I didn't quite nail them but I think they're pretty good for a first time (ok, second time, the first one was on a practice text block, but my point stands). I had originally intended this to be a split boards binding, my first time trying that, but when I got the boards glued on I found that they were crooked. Really crooked. Completely misaligned. Much swearing followed this discovery. I ended up having to cut the boards free, cutting the mull and tapes in the process. The mull was easily replaced, but the parts of the tapes that are usually glued to the boards were a lost cause. I reused the boards, but flipped them so the edge with the cut tapes inside is at the fore edge so I could have a cleaner hinge. You can see in the last photo that the cover board is a little wider at the fore edge. On the plus side, there are no tapes to wrinkle my pretty endpapers and it combated the small bit of spine swell I had. On the downside, the hinge has less support and the only thing I learned was How Not To Make A Sewn Boards Binding.
I may have gone a little nuts with the images in this typeset. In my defense they look very pretty. In order, that's the title page, table of contents, section break image (same as the back cover, just tiny), chapter header and ender (each chapter has one on its first and last pages, they just look particularly cool when you can get a full page spread like this), and the image on the last page of the book (same as the cover image, almost). The cover image was also supposed to have little rays coming off its moon like this one does, but the lines proved too thin for the cricut and it ate them. I still like how it looks though. The prose in this story is really rich and I was in the mood for opulence when I did it. I have absolutely no regrets.
Here's a feature that's unique to this typeset. One of the chapters in the second volume has three alternating, interwoven timelines. I read them fine on Ao3 but had trouble following them when I formatted it for printing. Usually I'd use the section break image to denote when there's a scene skip but there are literally dozens in this chapter, like 40-60 breaks over the course of 10 or so pages, and it looked very busy with images in it. So I left them out, made the line skips single instead of double like they are elsewhere in the book, and I color-coded the text instead. One timeline is printed in black, one is dark gray, and one is dark blue. And it's a very surreal chapter, with the characters having some very confusing and conflicting emotions, so I feel like reading multicolored text when you're not expecting it (the rest of the book is all normal black and this bit is near the middle) sort of reflects that unbalanced feeling? I hope so anyway, because I love the way it looks so much.
I learned so many things in the course of making these. I'm absolutely doing all of them again. Part of the reason it took so long was that I wanted it to be perfect, or as near as I could get, and I had to take the time to solve all the puzzles it threw at me. But it stretched my creativity and ingenuity and I could not be more in love with the finished product.
#bookbinding#fanbinding#snek makes books#good omens#fic rec#this got super long#and considerably more journal-like than I planned#i guess when you work on something for five months it becomes part of you huh#there were more images too#i took so many photos of these
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Bumpy road, pretty result
Whoaaaa. This one...
The next fanfiction I bound was Cinder and Smoke by @thelittleblackfox. I lover their work to pieces. They write incredible thought out Stucky!AU's with a lot of fantasy aspects or really good scifi and I wanted badly to do one of their fics, but waited til I was a little happier with my results and could make a pretty cover. We decided together on this one and I started formatting... And then I stopped for a long while because Word is the devil.
Cinder & Smoke is a western!AU and just about the most romantic thing I've ever read. It has yearning and a little angst and a very distinct vibe that feels like Fernweh and wilderness and change. Go read it!
I worked on it between June and December 23 and Christmas was the only reason I finished it this quickly, but I did not want to leave it unfinished for the turn of the year.
Sadly I don't have a lot of pictures, but when I'm finished with my copy I'll post some more.
Now we'll come to the journey it was to finish this!
It started out rather uncomplicated, because I thought I had gotten the hang of formatting and then, when I tried adjusting the font and overall look of the text body Word kept killing the italics. And I googled and tried and experimented and I just couldn't get it to stop. I was so frustrated, oh god. It put me off a little and I had to leave it for a while. When I came back around to it I found a slightly butchered solution, that works though so I won't question it. After that formatting went smoother and I was able to bind it. I used paper from that same supplier that fucked up my paper order for the covers from the notebooks. But only after I had it printed I noticed that it was cut crooked and wouldn't cleanly fold in half. I despaired a little, said fuck it and hoped it wouldn't be to noticeable. I think it's alright.
Binding went really well and I think that's the cleanliest job I did to this date.
Did the endbands by hand to match the color scheme I was aiming for. Because of the title I wanted to invoke fire and used primarily black and red for the coloring.
Then came the cover. First of all, don't use black bookcloth. You will see every. single. mistake. Also dust and glitter... I brushed this thing so often, you wouldn't believe it.
And I tried different vinyl. I couldn't find the right shade of red I wanted, it's a little hard to source it around here so I went an entirely different route and used golden glitter vinyl. What I didn't know until after I plotted the design: The glitter has texture. I couldn't see a single cut-line. I had to keep the picture open to work along the edges and not rip the letters. Still lost all of the i-points 😭
The flower was pretty easy though. Glueing it on was also quite hard because it just wouldn't hold and I got glitter everywhere. Which let to more brushing but I'm afraid mailing it destroyed all that work :D
Anyway. I am sooo happy with how it turned out I instantly forgot about all annoyances and was able to mail it before the end of the year and that was a really satisfying last project, so all is well :)
This was also the first time I had the idea of choosing a little icon for the author's penname because most of the time I don't have enough space for the entire name. I reworked all of the other books to accomodate that.
Binding Details
Body Text: Garamond, 11
Half Title/Chapter Heading: Gold Lines Trial, 20
Full Title: Carnivalee Freakshow, 48
Word Count: 57.197
Pages: 232
Paper: publishing paper A4, 90g, 1,5x volume (from the retailer from hell :/)
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Captains Done!
I've now finished the Pikmin Captain figures I was working on! There's two different bodies, and a helmet and non-helmeted head, so effectively there's two complete sets of figures. The heads can be swapped around too!
I had to go with a solid helmet just due to the complexity involved in attempting to do a clear thing at this scale. Its something that's plagued me for years. Can't really find an off the shelf solution, and casting something in resin just has too high a cost of failure. I like this fine though, it gets the idea across, and I can swap out the fully detailed head whenever I feel like it. Its kind of nostalgic in a way, since its similar to how I handled the helmet on my very first attempt, well over a decade ago.
This guy's probably still a bit larger than the new ones, but he's so much smaller than the monstrosity I made most recently.
That helmet dome is the same ones I used for the cockpit canopies in the ship, to show how massive everything got lol. Really it was a ton of work to get that dome working for the helmet, and in the end it just looks so wrong being round, the real one is so squished and oddly shaped. I was really happy to be able to capture that with these.
Here's the seated bodies. They're meant to be able to fit in the cockpits, but when I tried it was a bit snug and I cracked Louie's hair a bit...so I don't think I'll be trying that again soon. I printed out the comfy chair model I made for the gold version of the ship too, just for something for Shachou to sit on.
I also printed off a little Olimar sprout from the bad end of Pikmin 1(the end I actually got the first time I played...I was not good at the game*) I'm really happy with the dirt.
He doesn't have a leaf yet, I want to start working on the Pikmin themselves soon, and I have ideas for how to handle the leaves, and I want everything to be consistent, so I'm not rushing it for now.
I'm also starting to really get in to a treasure hunting mood, I've got the marbles, I found the perfect shuttlecock just lying around our garage, and I've ordered some correct shoe polish, hanafuda cards, and a bunch of blank bottle caps, so that's probably going to be a thing going forward.
I spent so long this evening looking at globes, I think I'm just going to make my own lol.
*I didn't know about Pikmin drowning so I walked straight in to the lake in the Forest of Hope with a full complement of Reds and Yellows and didn't know about whistling to save them, there were no survivors.
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answering your asks vol 3
Full context for the Inprnt issue can be found here on this post , tl;dr my shop is closed until I receive my payments from inprnt in a timely manner and essentially won't reopen unless they clean up their act. Regarding the money they owe me outlined in that post, I still have not received it and on Friday I sent a support ticket in to inprnt demanding they send it soon. Haven't heard back since. I think where Inprnt is concerned, it's worth mentioning that they no longer send promotional emails (which used to be a regular occurrence) and there seems to be a complete lack of communication and the only thing about the site that regularly updates is the sale banner (ending soon!!! 🙄)
So honestly I'm of the opinion that the print on demand bubble has burst and that this method of selling art was a very short-lived feature of an internet that doesn't exist anymore. Think about it - I make money on a sale after having spent nothing on promotion, on materials, on postage fees, etc. It's so easy to game the system using bots or stolen art to essentially print free money that I'm shocked it even lasted as long as it did. Maybe I'm wrong but I won't tie myself to another print on demand service that's just going to pull the same old shit redbubble and inprnt have done this year, or one that requires me to constantly promo it like some kind of influencer on instagram or tiktok or whatever.
Will prints come back? I hope so. I am looking into local printing shops and considering the feasibility of handling the process myself but you must understand that if I do that, the price will rise. I won't have the ability to run constant discounts or eat a loss if I order 20 prints and only 7 sell. It is what it is.
And the actual worldbuilding asks below the cut lol:
(referring to this post)
Only if you want to! I've had a few people send me cool sketches and stuff via dms and it's always nice to see but you really shouldn't feel pressured to. After all it's not like I post my rough practice here lol (that goes on patreon ;)
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I'm going to be SO real with you right now - I did not consider that at all. However I do know that tinting flames with various chemical compounds was a huge part of alchemy, part of the whole flashy show of it to impress the layperson. So sure, I bet they do throw in copper sulfate or various other chemicals to produce the coloured flames - these make a huge impression on witnesses who might not even have imagined such a thing possible, and also help identify a holy beast at a distance on a battlefield choked with smoke and dive-bombing serpents.
Fun fact, the flames come from the furnace wells, right. Each well is connected to specific systems, where it can most efficiently deliver fuel to the heart and onwards. So it is possible to 'read' the pattern of flame bursts from the furnace slits - they are not constant, but there'll be one every few seconds based on when the furnace tenders excite each well. You can tell at a distance, for example, that Leun is readying an acid spray, or rerouting power to the rear legs for a leap, or even what direction he's turning. It all runs at a slight delay, which is why the crew inside has to be SO closely coordinated.
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@absolutely-flabbergasted Knights are allowed to reproduce but not marry, because it's sort of accepted theory that blood relatives of a knight will be 'accepted' by the knight's beast when the time comes. This is not true but it means that sometimes the knight's apprentices are their own children. The other parent is mostly another member of the church and usually not identified or considered important (unless they're a smith...). There are usually a decent number of known knight bastards running about.
Smiths are not allowed to have families or marry, because their first devotion should be to their art or their beast if they are assigned to one. If one tries, the kids are taken away, anonymised with new names, and put into the pool of potential novices in some other stable. Now, in reality some stables or churches are just not that strict and have a slightly different culture, so there's often an Open Secret about some master smith's illegitimate family or a priest's secret mistress. This is tolerated by the authorities to a certain degree but if it becomes too rampant there'll usually be a change of management and some sort of crackdown.
Families who give up their second born cannot stay in contact, but if the child becomes successful in some way (say, if the child becomes a knight) the families are sent tokens symbolising this which can be placed in the family/village shrine. This can be a huge point of pride, with some people faking the tokens just so that they can show off about their successful kids that are totally knight apprentices.
The reason they don't get to stay in touch with their children is due to the secretive nature of the church and its arts. The church has been at war with the neighbouring nations for a long time and only its mastery of engine work has kept it afloat, and nobody wants these secrets to fall into enemy hands. Particularly if your kid goes on to become a scribe, which is if anything an even more closely guarded profession than that of a knight (those engine diagrams don't draw themselves). The laity are usually quite devout and understanding of this. If they aren't, they might attempt to find their child, often without success.
If you want your church kid back: it depends. If you can prove to the church authorities that you need your child's labour to stay afloat or to carry on the family line, they might take that into consideration. Of course, the only children that return are the likes of sweepers, cleaners, altar boys, pages, etc. Nobody who might have witnessed any Secrets. The church is best understood as being in the middle of a cold war for the past few centuries (and sometimes just regular war) so it's far more closely guarded.
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@kicks-tiktaalik-back-into-water
It's not likely. Even if the ventilation system worked perfectly, he is still from an older generation of holy beasts and no longer represents the pinnacle of the technology. Leun might have a less sophisticated ventilation system but everything else about him is head and shoulders more advanced - including the crew number he can take on. Leun only requires a single enginesmith in the heart, for example. This is because there's more automation of his systems, and he can actually manage to walk home from battle without anybody inside at all, just based on the knight's input (because the throne chamber is open to the air the knights are technically not inside the beasts). It's not preferable (it can damage the systems) but it is a huge bonus.
Think about how in the early days of commercial aviation, there could be as many as eight people working on the flight deck. In the 60s, a 3-person crew was standard; captain, first officer, and flight engineer. Today there are only two pilots needed. This is down to increased automation, and it means that it is cheaper to fly the plane - the airline has to hire fewer pilots, 'flight engineer' is a nonexistent role these days, and that means you need to train fewer people, have fewer people on call, feed fewer people etc etc. It is cheaper for the church to run Leun than it is to run Krokodilos and even though the church is wealthy, the money and resources are not infinite. Especially now, in times of plague. Leun, for all everybody sings his praises, is basically a reskinned Pantera with better systems - again, cutting costs, because now we can get all of Pantera's old enginesmiths to work on him instead of having to train up new ones on a brand new and wholly unique platform. It's as much a matter of logistics as it is innovation and technology.
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Hi could I have a cute headcanon AU where Kaeya is a doctor and y/n is a patient, when you come for your first visit he sees you thinks your so good looking tries to flirt with you while doing a check up on you and at the end asks you on a date
something about kaeya in glasses and a coat made me fall in love with him again a little more,,,
You were a little hesitant when you heard that your doctor was going to be gone for a while on such short notice. It was already such a pain to get the appointment in the first place that you didn't mind being seen just by the new resident, sitting patiently in the room for him to review your charts.
When you hear the knock at the door you don't expect to see the most beautiful man you've ever laid eyes on. He gives you a slight smile, waving at you as he introduces himself to you. You try not to react too strongly but he's incredibly perceptive, giving you a slight once over that you don't notice.
All he can think about in the back of his mind is how he definitely needs to reassign you to one of the other doctors so he can actually finish med school and graduate and give you the perfect life you deserve and yes, he's totally planning what your wedding looks like and no, he isn't jumping the gun not at all.
He goes through his procedure methodically, glad that nothing seems awfully out of shape and he gets to send you home with just the suggestion of over-the-counter medication and rest. But, that isn't without the odd teasing.
He loves the way he can practically feel the room heat up from being flustered with the way he flirts with you. You preen under his gaze, knowing that he's probably just a little flirty by nature rather than actually showing interest. You're just glad that he doesn't have you hooked up to some monitor that would totally expose how you're feeling to him.
"Well, I guess I'm good to go now, right?" you ask a little sadly, hoping that it isn't too obvious on your voice.
You watch him flip through the pages on his clipboard and consult something on the computer before nodding.
"I'll just need to print off some things for you to take home with you. New system - we all hate it but it's supposedly good for the patients. You don't mind taking it, right?"
He winks at you, the innuendo not lost on you as he leaves the office. Your face heats up and you try to hide in your hands, waiting impatiently for him to come back and let you leave. Maybe you will start coming to the doctor's office more often if it means seeing him regularly, trying to figure out in your head what the most feasible timeline would be to see him again when he returns.
"I've also written a note on there for you," he points out, handing you the sheet in a way that makes your hands touch.
"You don't want to see me again?" you ask after reading the words, knitting your brows together in confusion.
"Can't if I want to ask you out on the weekend. Or whenever it is that you're free."
You look at him in confusion, barely registering the melodic sound of his laugh.
"I've got my number on there too. Just text me when you're free, alright? I'll be waiting."
He walks out of the room then, giving you time to gather your thoughts and add his number to your phone.
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BLOGGIES 2023 BEST BLOG POST OF THE YEAR
On 31 January 2024, the tabletop-roleplaying-game community voted for the Best Blog Post Of 2023.
Contenders were drawn from the winners of four categories. Links, as well as their very excellent acceptance speeches---more exhortations and manifestos, really!---found here:
Theory
Gameable
Advice
Review
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Anyway---you voted. Results were very close; I was constantly worried about a tie. Nevertheless, a winner emerged:
Congratulations are in order, and an acceptance speech follows.
+++
(Like an idiot, I didn't plan for, and therefore didn't have the time to make a bespoke prize for the overall Bloggie winner. So they'll just get a full quadtych of lino prints. Fortunately these don't look too bad together!)
PLATINUM BLOGGIE FOR BEST BLOG POST OF THE YEAR:
🔮Re-inventing the Wilderness: Part 1 - Introduction🔮
from SachaGoat
Sacha:
As an (award-winning) blogger who only started 6 months ago - I want to use this "acceptance speech" to share the 5 steps that will start your blog:
1. You don't need a cool blog name. screenname(dot)blogspot(dot)com is probably available - you can move it later if you think of a cool name. The trick here is to set it up so your ideas can go live as soon as you're happy (or tired of editing).
2. Post something. Dust off your notebook (or note-taking app) and turn those musings into a structured post with paragraphs and context. Don't have anything ready to go? Take your latest game session and write a play report or spotlight a specific moment. This will take less time than your ttrpg prep.
3. Share it! With your gaming group, ttrpg friends, community discords, xwitter/bluesky, reddit, forums etc.
4. Don't worry about the rest. I don't have a fancy blog template. I've yet to compile a sidebar or blogroll. I don't have a newsletter or patreon.
5. Continue. Your readers will contribute with comments. You will be shared in community newsletters. Peers will write posts inspired by your posts. Your ideas will be used at another gaming table. (And if you're lucky, you can win the next BLOGGIES.)
If you've shared your prep with a fellow DM… if you've contributed opinions on a ttrpg discord or forum… if you've read a blog post and have a thought that builds on it… if you have any tabletop advice or ideas … 👏 Start 👏 a 👏 blog
This finally brings me to the "thanks". Winning the 2023 BLOGGIES is such a wonderful welcome to this creative niche. Many thanks to the creators who encourage the community to blog (especially around June 2023, I can actually see the thread that motivated me to start). I also want to thank a community whose collective enthusiasm and support nudge me to release the next post. And finally, everyone who voted for my post over the amazing nominations this year - a huge thank you.
+++
On a personal note: I am really thrilled at this final result.
The BLOGGIES can come off as clique-ish. Voting is public, but "public" on the Internet generally means a circle-jerk between subculture friends, a popularity contest.
This thing began as a jokey riff on those best-tweet-of-the-year polls over on Twitter. While Prismatic Wastelands grew it into a celebration of OSR blogging culture, it still has NSR / POSR inclinations---the specific community soil it sprung from.
As host this year I tried to extend the BLOGGIES' reach. Canvassing for nominations outside the OSR space got a couple of indie-RPG designers on the finalists list. Am proud of that; we have much to learn from each other.
I made prizes---hoping that, one day, with enough dangling carrots, these awards will eventually be tasty enough for non-POSR cliques / communities to attempt a takeover? We'll see.
Ultimately: I am glad to water this sapling and watch it grow slowly. Community is made by growing trees, not building greenhouses.
+++
SachaGoat snagging the final win is a vindication.
Sacha's blog is new. We don't share any Discord servers. We've never spoken, hitherto; the first time I messaged him ever was to tell him he'd won the Advice category.
The BLOGGIES fulfils its purpose: to introduce folks to quality blogs; to preach the gospel and importance of blogging. Its shade is spreading.
I'm glad to get to know Sacha and his blog. (Obviously it's been added to my must-read list!) I am honoured to be passing the torch: Sacha has agreed to host BLOGGIES 2024.
Thank you, everybody. Here's to growing trees.
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I have some news to share ^^
A few days ago I had a revelation while at work.
For over 8 years I've been a big fan of the Dark Souls franchise.
The first Dark Souls felt to me like a journey; a full-on immersion into an incredibly complex world, marked by disparity: old royalty, splendor, trust, hope, magic, nostalgia, wonder, gold, light... but also decay, dread, betrayal, horrors, darkness, death, monsters, disease, anguish.
This game left a deep print on me that hasn't faded. Ever since I played it, fantasy changed in my eyes. Dark Souls I, II and III became a standard, a reference point. Even when I didn't draw as much as I do now, I aspired to one day pay good tribute to the games that meant so much to me! And, of course, I created fan art, but I always felt like I could have given more.
Now.
As you probably know I'm also a big Star Wars fan, specifically TCW fan. And a few months ago I watched The Bad Batch for the first time.
This show left a print in a very similar way as Dark Souls had before. It fueled my inspiration significantly, motivated me and, most importantly, helped me form friendships that I'm incredibly grateful for ♥.
So... the other day, while I listened to some Dark Souls music at work, I thought...
Why not combine my favorite show with my favorite videogame franchise?
So that's it guys. May I present to you:
-The Bad Batch: Dark Souls AU-
That's it! That's my brilliant idea! XD
This is going to be a project, a BIG one. So I would like to briefly (i promise i tried) explain how it will affect my content, under the cut:
(I'll also drop some older DS artwork at the bottom!)
TLDR: From now on I will focus on TBB DS AU as my main and basically sole project . Even if you didn't play DS, that's okay! I will make it people-who-didn't-play friendly, to ensure everyone enjoys the journey. However, if this isn't for you, it's okay to unfollow <3
-I would say that, since I came to tumblr this early summer, my "signature" drawings are the TBB beach episode ones. I have WIPs for this project but I've been feeling stuck for far too long, so I am going to put it on hold. In fact, I am going to put on hold virtually everything that I was planning on doing, with a few exceptions. This means that I will rarely draw anything outside this AU.
-I am CLOSING commissions. I found that they put a kind of pressure on me that doesn't feel too good, and, honestly, I'm lucky to say that I do not need the money at the moment. I'm still open to requests, though, so don't hesitate to send anything and I'll draw it if I feel like it :) I'll even try to set up a store at some point!
-The project will consist on three journeys, featuring the 6 members of the Bad Batch, and corresponding with the three Dark Souls games. Each of those journeys will, more or less faithfully, follow the events of EACH season of TBB, adapted of course to the universe of Dark Souls, AKA Dark Medieval Fantasy. This means that, until the third season of TBB is released, I won't make any DSIII-related drawings.
-The journeys are adapted to the universe, and thus, will follow the real player journey as faithfully as I can, staying within DS canon and allowing people who have played the games to enjoy my drawings. However,
-THE DRAWINGS WILL BE 100% NON-DS-PLAYER FRIENDLY. I know that my followers are not DS fans but TBB/TCW fans. I am NOT here just to please DS fans. I want TBB fans to enjoy this journey, without having to google meanings or go easter-egg hunt to understand what is happening. I will tell a story and you will only have to enjoy it.
-This is a project for myself. Both DS and TBB mean A LOT to me, and this idea had me vibrating with excitement. I am making this project to PAY TRIBUTE to two things I love. However that does not mean that I will neglect the very people who have motivated me to keep creating. I promise to still deliver my very best with every drawing.
Do not hesitate to unfollow if this isn't for you.
I can understand that some people might follow me only for my wholesome beach episode drawings or for regular, HC TBB content. And that's okay. That's what this announcement is for! To let you know. This community has given me so much and I want to give back. And if you do stay, I can almost 100% assure you that you will enjoy what's to come!! <3 It will be a long but satisfactory journey.
I'LL BE POSTING THE FIRST DRAWINGS IN THE UPCOMING DAYS!
OKAY, SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT!!! 😖
Here are some older DS drawings ^^ (jesus I have way more than I thought and these aren't even all of them)
AIGHT. NOW YOU KNOW IT'S SOME SERIOUS SHIT WHEN I SAY I LIKE THESE GAMES.
Anyway. Including a taglist, because I think it would be unfair not to let you guys know about this project in case anyone wants out (or to not be tagged). Send me a DM if that's the case, it's NO PROBLEM!!! I wouldn't want to tag someone who doesn't want this content.
ALSO PLEASE, ANY QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE, TOSS THEM TO ME! And thank you kindly for making it this far <3
@dukeoftheblackstar @justalittletomato @darthmaulshispanichousewife @botherbother-blog @aftergloom @badolmen @ihaventpickedausername @ohboi @stardustbee @nik-barinova @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @gen-has-green-vibes @ejfivercommander @herbalinz-of-yesteryear @eyecandyeoz @noesqape @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @staycalmandhugaclone @callmesunny04 @freesia-writes @ginnymilling @sunshinesdaydream @sev-on-kamino @cloneloverrrrr @moon-wrecked @idontgetanysleep @tech-aficionado @followthepurrgil @renton6echo @queen-jiru @shoe-bag @eyayah123 @eloquentmoon @and-loth-cat @ladyzirkonia @stardusthuntress @bambambunny @morphofan @gt13tbbart @amalthiaph @cameronirat @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @anxiouspineapple99
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hi! I've loved all the fic's you've posted so far! could I please make a request for something where Jamie gets officially diagnosed with ADHD and the team (and Roy and Keeley) are like 'well that makes sense' and are just so supportive through the process?
This was a doozy, anon, and I hope I’ve done it justice. Sorry Keeley didn’t get a lot of screentime - it ended up being a lot more introspective.
Thanks for the prompt!
(Prompt Fill Masterpost)
—
It wasn’t like no one had ever suggested it before.
Jamie, in fact, could clearly recall those cautious, gently probing questions Simon had ventured a few months after they’d first met. He was a teacher - a genuinely brilliant one, at that - and had recognised certain behaviours in the smart-mouthed teenager he was suddenly spending an inordinate amount of time around.
Unfortunately, Jamie had been a stubborn, prideful 16-year-old with little more than vicious dismissals for his mum’s cheery new boyfriend.
Years of school report cards and conversations at parents’ evenings echoed the same things.
If Jamie could just focus…
If he really applied himself…
If he tried a bit harder…
Exasperated teachers, tutors and coaches all leaving Jamie feeling stupid and frustrated with their attempts to guide him towards being better. Towards acting normal.
He had learned to live with the fact that some things were just harder for him than they seemed to be for everyone else. He set multiple alarms and reminders on his phone for everything he could think of. He wore jewellery and clothes that he could tug or twist or pull at without drawing too much attention to himself.
He learned to hold his tongue when he was overwhelmed and irritable for reasons he couldn’t define... and tried his best to apologise when he couldn’t keep the harsh words or knee-jerk reactions under control.
He coped.
It had finally taken a suggestion from Dr Sharon, a woman who had built up such an impressive amount of Jamie’s trust in a startlingly short amount of time that he often felt like she knew him better than he did himself, before he thought about doing anything more than that.
She had referred him to a specialist. Jamie made an appointment and answered the questions as best he could. Now, weeks later, it was official. He had ADHD.
Sitting with that information was strange. Deciding what to do with it was worse.
The first person he told was his mum. Obviously. She was reassuring and supportive, like he knew she would be, and even offered to take the train down that weekend to visit. Jamie declined, but he did have another request.
“Can you tell Simon?” he managed to choke out at the end of the call. “I think he’d like to know.”
The next conversation was a bit more complicated.
In amongst the information he’d received with his letter from the clinic were recommendations for ‘workplace accommodations’ - things that could help make ADHD easier to manage in a professional environment.
Most of it was completely irrelevant. Jamie didn’t need to sit in meetings all day or focus on a computer screen - he just needed to play football and that was the one thing he’d never had any problem with. But the advice (which Dr Sharon endorsed) was to discuss options with a manager.
Problem was, his manager was now technically Roy Fucking Kent.
And Jamie had absolutely no idea how to go about saying ‘hey, apparently my brain works differently’ to him in a way that wouldn’t end in either ridicule or dismissal.
(He was aware that he was perhaps being unfair to the man who was in many ways one of his closest friends these days. But there was a long and colourful history there that shaded every new interaction between them with the potential for chaos.)
Finally, driven half demented by days of overthinking it, he printed out a copy of his letter from the clinic and tossed it more or less directly at Roy’s head while he was filling out paperwork in his office. It mercifully landed on his desk, rather than smacking him in the face.
“Well, fuck you, too.” Roy deadpanned, fixing Jamie with a half-hearted glare and making no move to open the folded paper. “What’s that?”
“You could just fucking read it.” Jamie sulked, shoving his hands deep into the pouch of his hoodie. “‘S a letter, innit? From the doctors’.”
That had Roy frowning, what Jamie recognised as concern bunching up his brow. He picked up the document and unfolded it about as aggressively as one conceivably could. Kind of impressive, actually.
Jamie pinpointed the exact moment the information sank in and averted his gaze, locking in on the one part of the desk that wasn’t covered in files or wires or photo frames.
“Right.” Not bad, as far as reactions went. In his peripherals, Jamie saw Roy nod and readjust his hold. “... thank you. For, um, letting me know.”
“Yeah, well.” Jamie shrugged, plucking at the seams inside his pocket and studiously keeping his eyes trained on the same corner of Roy’s desk. “The leaflets and that they gave me said I should tell my boss. So. Now I have.”
“Right.” Roy repeated, agreeing like that made sense. He cleared his throat. “I know fuck all about it.”
“Join the club.”
That eased some of the weird tension that had been brewing and Roy huffed a laugh.
“Fair enough. Are you alright?”
Jamie gave that due consideration and finally dragged his stare back to Roy’s face before answering. “I think so. It’s weird, being told your brain is all…” He waved a hand around. “But it’s… nice. Knowing it’s not just me.”
Roy narrowed his eyes, assessing the truth of Jamie’s words, and seemed to accept what he said. “Is it alright if I put it in your file? Nate and Beard might have some input. Higgins should know too, probably.”
“Whatever.” Jamie chewed on his lower lip, mulling the implications over. “I don’t want to have to, like, say anything about it. But, yeah, you can tell whoever.”
“That include the team?”
Jamie sucked in air through his teeth and pursed his mouth. Why that set his teeth on edge, he didn’t know. They were good lads - not always the most sensitive but they all (Jamie included) tried extremely hard to lift each other up when a difficult topic wormed its way into the safe space of their locker room.
This wasn’t Colin coming out or Sam fighting back against racist dickheads, though. It was just Jamie and his weird fucking brain.
“Dunno. I mean. Yeah. If you want.”
If Roy noticed his hesitation, he didn’t mention it.
Not a lot changed over the next few weeks. Jamie was still Jamie, after all. His quirks hadn’t disappeared overnight or become suddenly worse.
He coped. Just a bit differently.
And so did the people around him.
A few days after his talk with Roy, Jamie was confronted by a smiling Keeley bearing a colourful gift bag: a present of cool rings that had spinning bands and mini gears he could fidget with, for ‘no reason’ other than she’d been thinking of him.
He spotted Sam with a book on the bus after a match, the title confusing him until he looked it up later. And then it cropped up again and again: on the shelf of Isaac’s locker, in the passenger seat of Colin’s car, sticking out of Jan’s bag.
Higgins approached him with a quiet and pleasantly confident assurance that the club’s management would do everything in their power to ensure Jamie was granted approval to use any medications that became necessary to his wellbeing.
The coaching team gave him a (mildly offensive) signal to use when he needed a minute, either to stick in his airpods and tune out, or to shuffle down to the boot room and breathe. More often than not, Dani would be waiting for him afterwards, beaming and ready to provide physical contact or launch into a full discussion on any inane topic he could think of.
Everyone was careful not to get outwardly annoyed when he asked them to repeat themselves or if he lost track of time. They let him talk when he went on a tangent. They were quick to forgive when he interrupted them or spoke without thinking.
They were… brilliant. It was brilliant.
Jamie carried on his therapy and worked hard to manage his symptoms and learn new behaviours. Despite Higgins’ promises, he decided against trying any of the medications offered to him, too concerned about weight loss and what (to his mind) felt like an unfair advantage on the pitch.
Diet and exercise became about more than just his job, they were further tools he could use to keep in control. He felt calmer most days and when he didn’t, Roy was there with extra workouts and an open door if he just needed a safe space.
It wasn’t perfect, of course it wasn't. Jamie still fixated on it when he fucked up and acted impulsively, screwing over his team or friends. He still let people down sometimes and struggled to understand how or why. He still needed to be held accountable. Shame at not being better still occasionally reared its head.
But that was okay.
Jamie was coping. And he wasn’t alone.
#self-projection? in MY fanfic? it's more likely than you think#fic prompts#my fic#jamie tartt#roy kent#ted lasso#afc richmond
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Jungkook:Dearly Beloved🔞 2
In which you've got a crush on your coworker- and a stalker problem.
Tags/Warnings: I do not condone any of Jungkooks questionable actions, this is fiction, soft Yandere!Jungkook, stalking, criminal actions (trespassing, stealing), obsession, he's really not quite right in the head, mc is kind of stupid for not involving police but wbk
Additional Chapter Warnings: jungkooks sanity is fruit and his heart is a blender, fluffy sweater koo :(
Chapter Length: mid/short
A/N: thank you for reading ♡
<- Previous | next ->
He's left you a gift again- a letter accompanying it.
'I saw you shivering outside last night. Where you waiting for me?' he writes, his handwriting neat as always. He's using a different pen this time however- blue ink unusual to the typical black ballpoint pen he uses. 'you know you shouldn't. I'm a coward- I can't face you yet.' he explains, making you lift your legs to rest on the couch. 'I hope it's okay that I've given you one of mine. It's my favourite actually- I bet it looks way better on you though. And it will keep you warm!' he writes, and you unpack the little bag he'd stuffed into your mailbox. It's in fact a sweater- a hoodie to be exact, white in color with colorful print on front and back.
You can't help but notice the distinctively male scent on it though.
It's pleasent however- not overbearing, more or less faint, and clean. It makes you feel a bit odd inside knowing that it's his- but you don't think much of it. He's probably still sorry for basically breaking into your home.
He's not tried it again after that one time- and you're rather thankful for that.
♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
when you place a tupperware container on his desk with a post it note on top of the lid, you didn't think he'd be coming in so early as well. But you basically run into Jungkooks chest face first, the only thing saving you from a broken bones his hands on your shoulder attending you.
Fuck, he's strong.
"I'm so sorry, I'm not trying to be weird, I promise!" you apologize to a rather dumfounded looking Jungkook standing in front of your form, still dressed in your jacket from just having arrived at work. "I just.. I feel like I overstepped a boundary when I hugged you last time, so this.. Take it as an apology.." you meekly tell him, unable to look into his eyes.
He's mesmerized, hypnotized, bewildered even.
"you.. Made that for me?" he wonders, and you nod, squirming in your spot, equally as socially awkward as him.
"I.. It's nothing special, but, I thought homemade food might still be better than cafeteria stuff-" you try and defend yourself, and in front of you, jungkook plays with his hands nervously.
"t-thank you." he brings out. "I- no one's ever done that for me.. And don't worry-" he hurries, hands waving around almost frantically. "your uh.. Your hug just caught me off guard. I- it was nice." he says, and you nod- when suddenly other staff walks in, workday visibly starting. "I- uhm.. J-just call me over if you need help again." he offers, and you nod with red cheeks, before hurrying towards your desk.
It's a quiet day of programming for both of you- Jungkooks hands later on carefully removing your post it note, before he puts it in his wallet for safekeeping. He's about to turn around and ask if you want to eat lunch at the cafeteria with him together, having mustered uo the courage- when he spots you fast asleep at your desk, head on your arms.
Though what he notices most of all, is you attire.
The white hoodie does look way better on you than on him- you're so adorable, body safely tucked away in his favourite item of clothing, wrapped in his scent, the soft fabric able to touch your skin.
He let's you sleep, unable to bring himself to wake you up- though he can't help but grin like a schoolboy to himself, unable to get the image out of his head, even after returning home and writing a letter on his floor.
You really are perfect. He can't wait to have you.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#Soft yandere jungkook#bts yandere au#yandere jungkook#bts yandere#yandere bts
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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋
word count: 1.4k
genre/warnings: angst/none really?
kuchiki byakuya x black!fem!reader
Heartbreak invokes different emotions in someone. It can cause suffering, depression, emptiness, happiness, a sense of relief, and the list could go on. For some, a breakup is their escape from something they're not happy with. For some, it's a never-ending saga of sadness.
For Byakuya, he wasn't sure what he felt. He was relieved that [your name] could finally be happy but felt empty. It's been a year since the couple split, and he hasn't found out how he felt. This was supposed to be their fourth anniversary. Now that he's beginning to think of it, there was a time when he was happy. It was when he was with her.
Four years ago, Byakuya was in a happy relationship. His first relationship and he didn't want it to end. Their first encounter was when she entered his plant shop and looked for [favorite plant]. Instead, she became captivated by his cherry blossom tree in the back.
"I've never seen one in person," she gushed in awe.
"Beautiful isn't it?" he stood beside her as she nodded.
"Here, I can let you through the back to get a better view," he grabbed the keys from his pocket and unlocked the back door.
He led her through the back, and her eyes lit up. It was beautiful in person. She looked so happy there, so he didn't want to interrupt her. He searched for the [favorite plant] as she stood there.
It wouldn't take him long to find it, considering that he's the one who created and designed the shop, "there you are..." he muttered to himself. No wonder why she couldn't find it. The other plants in its area covered it.
The last thing he wanted was to disturb her peace, so the plant was placed to the side. Whenever she was ready, she could take the plant.
"Thank ya' so much!" she smiled at the long-haired male.
"You're welcome," he smiled back. This was a genuine smile; it wasn't fake.
Since that day, he's been intrigued by the girl. Every day he'd hope to see her, maybe show up out of the blue. That week he'd purposely act like he was doing something productive by the door. Unfortunately, she never came. Or so he thought.
Hearing the little bells make noise, and he quickly and calmly walked over to where the plants were and pretended to work. It was her again. What should he do?
"Good afternoon," he cleared his throat, trying not to peak over her.
"Good afternoon; how's your afternoon so far?" she hummed, looking around at the plants.
"Been pretty slow, might close up early today," he sighed, glancing over at her.
"Yours?"
"Ugh! I Don't know where to start; let's say my afternoon isn't great. Now I'm here trying to find another plant child to ease my nerves," she huffed, looking at various plants around her.
"Do you own a spider plant?" she shook her head no and gestured for her to follow him.
"This is beautiful," she gushed, looking at the plant.
"Spider plants purify the indoor air by eliminating the harmful chemicals that float around you, and I think that it'll help you calm down at times," he took it from the hanging planter.
"I knew if I came back here, you'd be able to help me again," she followed him to the register.
"I'm glad to hear that," he tried his best to hide his red cheeks, but he couldn't.
"How much?"
"Only $20..." he trailed off, waiting for the receipt to print.
"And maybe a cup of coffee tomorrow if you're not busy?" he added while she nodded with a small smile.
"Of course, here!" she grabbed a sticky note and wrote her number for him.
"See you tomorrow," she waved goodbye as she left the store.
Once that door shut, he let a deep breath out. He couldn't believe he had done that; he had asked her on a date. What was shocking was that she said yes.
The following day came rather quickly, and he was a bit nervous. What if she changed her mind last minute?
He was becoming anxious, but he didn't understand why. He was here five minutes early, while she might be on time.
Byakuya sat down at a booth near the door, hoping to grab [your name] just in case she walked in the door. Tapping his fingers on the table, he heard the coffee shop's bell ding. There she was; she looked beautiful.
"Hey!" and his eyes lit up a bit.
"Hello," there was a slight smile as he exited the booth.
They walked over to the counter, where he paid for their drinks and sat at the booth. When they got to know each other, he learned that [your name] was completing her master's degree in [major], and she was in her last year. She realized that he had started his business two years ago and grew his plants in the backyard of his house. He also had a younger sister.
In both of their eyes, they felt like they had hit it off. Especially Byakuya. "we should see each other again... How about dinner Saturday night?" She slowly nodded, trying not to smile.
Agreeing to that date at the time was probably the best thing [your name] could do. Byakuya had this mysterious aura about him that she was intrigued by.
They'd have dates every Friday, but more than each Friday was needed for him. His eyes lit up whenever she stopped by the shop, and eventually, he'd ask her to be his girlfriend.
Despite him not being fully open about himself, [your name] was okay with that. They found a way to make it work, but it wouldn't be able to last forever. A sweet relationship filled with laughter and good times turned sour real quick. Neither of them saw it coming; it was a surprise. A surprise that grabbed them by the neck.
"I do not understand what you're saying..." he trailed off, staring at her.
Of course, he knew what she was saying. He did not want to accept what she was saying. He was not ready for this yet.
"What is hard for you to understand right now? Let's go our separate ways... We're not happy anymore. We try so hard to try and salvage this relationship, and it just leads to more arguing. I'm unsure why you're so scared to open up to me, but I can't keep losing my mind. I ask the bare minimum, but I can't keep fighting you over that," Byakuya couldn't speak. Everything she said was right.
And he knew that once she was right and made her mind up, she was not changing. So she would be leaving for good this time. There were no breaks from each other for two weeks or maybe a month.
"I'm sorry, Kuya... I can't this time," he felt tears falling down his face or thought he did.
Maybe they were in his head. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Why couldn't he? He didn't understand why his body was suddenly paralyzed. His eyelids wouldn't shut. What was going on?
Hearing the door slam told him that everything was already over. He's lost everything. The only person who'd keep him sane. The only person who made him happy. The only person who helped him try new things in life. He couldn't lie; it felt like he got the wind knocked out of him.
There was a "thud," and those knees were dropping on the floor. The silence in the apartment consumed him while he stared off into space. Now his tears began to stream down his face. He lost the only thing that mattered to him.
He opened the heart in his necklace and looked at the picture of the two of them, "you were beautiful," he whispered to himself.
The slight smile on his face was bittersweet. He wished she could still be here to spend time with him again. He was hoping that they'd be getting ready to do something that they'd love, like going to the beach and staring at the stars until she'd let a yawn out, or going on a picnic at an empty area around the park, or even a lovely dinner where'd they'd be in the farthest booth away from everyone.
Byakuya couldn't lie. Sometimes he'd wait for her to come through the doors. He hoped they could restore what they once had, but he already knew it was done. They were over.
He'd do everything right if he just had the chance to be with her again. He'd listen to every feedback she'd given him and incorporate it into their relationship. He'd be more open with her instead of holding everything in or everything back. He'd also let her know how much he loved her and how beautiful she was.
#black reader#black writers#black!reader#x black reader#x!black!reader#bleach x black reader#bleach x black fem reader#bleach oneshot#bleach imagine#bleach imagines#bleach x black!fem!reader#bleach x black!reader#black coded reader#bleach anime#byakuya x black!reader#byakuya kuchiki x black reader#bleach byakuya#byakuya kuchiki x black!reader
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Hi, I hope you doing good. Can i have a matchup for LOTR and/or HOBBIT please 💐 Firstly English not my first language. I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.
You sure can have a matchup 💐 and your man is…
Beorn! 🐻
You are tired of the world. Tired of all its hustle and bustle and rules and unnecessary noise. It isn’t like you have family back in any of those towns and cities anyway. Nature is your true domain, the place where you can be yourself and feel harmony, stroll through fields of fragrant blooms without prying eyes…or so you think. A small patrol of orcs catches you off guard, brandishing their scimitars and chasing you deeper into the woods you had sought solace in. Your legs pump as fast as they can, but it is hardly enough. Just as you think your burning, heaving chest will give out and fail you, though, a great bear bursts from the woods, making short work of your would-be tormentors. Before your eyes the beast shrinks down, becoming a great man, and bids you simply “Come with me.”
Had you more energy you’d have tried to fight, but as it is you practically shake from the adrenaline and still feel a burning in your lungs; nodding, you just follow him down a trail and across a field to his cottage. Distant, in bloom, populated only by livestock and bumblebees. You like it. Tentatively you smile up at the towering, bearded man. “You have no home, do you?” He asks. You shake your head and he sighs. “That is what I thought.” It seemed he isn’t much one for company, either. No complaints leave his lips, though, as you set down your small pack of possessions, or as you scan the interior of his home, taking in every nook and cranny. “We eat in an hour,” the man simply says.
Beorn. You learn his name over the meal, confirm your suspicions that he, too, has his reasons for isolating from society. Tell him how beautiful his home really is as he speaks of protecting nature’s gifts and feeling no remorse for those who sully them. Respect flows through you at his words, keeps you nodding as he speaks.
When you emerge the next morning, this time clean and in a long dress of floral print, you notice the way Beorn’s bushy eyebrows rise, his expression softens. You practically challenge him as you go outside, exploring and gently tending the livestock. He says nothing, though, save following you and giving you the occasional nod at your kind treatment of his animals. “Keep my house safe,” he tells you at the end of the day, “and I keep the woods safe.” In his way, you realize, he is asking you to stay, and you agree. He makes a nicer meal this night.
Your motions in the kitchen are something of a dance, Beorn and you all but intuitively moving around the other, working in perfect rhythm. His people have many old songs to learn, and you vow to sing them as best you can as you work. Beorn cleans and bends some old metal scraps, strings a pair of acorns into new earrings for you. Payment for repairing all his blankets, he says, but you catch the faintest of smiles on his lips. Spring explodes across the meadows in great flowery bursts. Soon in your pastures a new calf is born; in a wave of excitement and celebration, Beorn lifts you up by the waist and spins you around. Both of your serious expressions bursting into true joy, utter freedom of care and concern, for the first time in too long. Some may call your life simple, your relationship confusing, but you know what you are to each other deep in your hearts of hearts and you want for nothing that your woods, your little cottage, and each other cannot provide.
Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰
#the hobbit#the hobbit imagines#the hobbit x reader#the hobbit matchups#beorn#beorn x reader#ask#anon#requested#matchup monday
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