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inkskinned · 4 months

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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again?#and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life

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splatoongamefiles · 3 months

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If you haven’t gotten any already, may I request Marina’s Pearl wallpaper from side order? I really wanna make it my laptop background as well

couldnt find a clean version of it, here's the next best thing i could. icons are missing cuz they jump around in game

#ask #magicalboycupid #splatoon #game rip #splatoon 3 #side order #request #textures

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catilinas · 5 months

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Hello! I apologize if im bothering, and wish you all the best in upcoming year! I wanted to ask, do you perhaps have some suggestions for modern plays ( written in last 20 or so years) inspired by greek tragedies (either serving as motifs or beibg retellings), particularly Oresteia? I am asking because I see lots and lits of literary retellings, but with few exceptions, rarely dramas. Thank you anyway, sorry for bothering, and have great holidays!

hi!!! i can think of a few but but because i'm more of a roman epic person the list is mostly plays i've actually seen. i think literary retellings are probably easier to find people talking about online because like. they aren't performed and so there's not the access barrier of needing to Go And See The Performance. and then also there are plays where you then can't get hold of the script! i'm also assuming you're interested in plays that aren't just translations / close adaptations of tragedies, because those are a lot easier to find and also like. more common?

here are some plays that i have either read or seen that fit your criteria and also fuck immensely:

the burial at thebes: a version of sophocles' antigone - seamus heaney

antigone the musical - marina mccready (does cool things w genre; version of antigone that has made me feel the most genuine sympathy for creon)

the cure at troy: a version of sophocles' philoctetes - seamus heaney (this isn't quite within the last 20 years but you may be interested anyway!)

phaedra's love - sarah kane (also a bit older but it's sooo good. although it is maybe more senecan tragedy than greek tragedy?)

phaedra - simon stone (based on euripides' hippolytus but also the plays by seneca and racine. but also it isn't any of them. but also it IS)

oresteia - robert icke (maybe my favourite play of all time ever) (robert icke has also done a version of oedipus but it was in dutch and i don't think it's possible to get the script?)

girl on an altar - marina carr (inspired by the oresteia but. not. also very cool in that it incorporates a Lot of iphigenia at aulis and yet iphigenia never appears. and then the whole play is about her)

also! if you aren't aware of the archive of performances of greek and roman drama productions database you might also want to rummage around in there! like i am Aware of things like a recent musical version of medea / iphigenia in splott but they are almost certainly in that extremely filterable database :D

also also clutuals pspspspsps if you have any particularly cool additions to this list. hi. hello.

#happy (greek tragedy filled?) 2024 to you to :')#book list #kind of #or like. very clearly a list of Greek Tragedy Adjacent Plays That Have Been Put On In And Around London Recently #shoutout to student discounts on theatre tickets. shoutout to my student id for not expiring until late 2024 #beeps

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thissccounthatesfascists · 9 days

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TL asleep? cool.

(long post, strap in)

i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.

lets break it down:

we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005

Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.

colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come

he confesses his feelings for her

she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)

they make out

he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)

he wakes up, absolutely shook

this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment

in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)

and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection

which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!

the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"

a line that i love is :

"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"

and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies

but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene

Now: some costuming details that i love:

Her hair:

(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style

let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)

the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style

the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.

compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes

the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.

And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.

This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:

there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.

but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous

(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees

what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.

the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene

for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror

this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially

because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)

and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up

i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing

this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.

so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"

and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.

If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584

chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up

photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #penelope featherington coded #polin #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton meta #costume design #demisexuality #demisexual representation #demisexual colin bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 analysis #romancing mister bridgerton #romancing mr. bridgerton #adaptation analysis #some historical context analysis as a treat for me specifically

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starkeyboy · 4 months

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how to be a heartbreaker

betrayal version 😈

sweet version: how to be a heartbreaker

luke x aphrodite!reader

the moment the pink aura radiated off my skin was when i knew. i had been claimed by aphrodite. everyone looked at me in awe as the acne on my face washed away, the kinks in my hair straightening out and turning into a blowout. i caught eyes with a boy who had been training me since i got here. the boy who i didn’t know i betray, years later.

***

5 years later

“now listen, y/n, being a daughter of aphrodite isn’t easy,” silena beauregard, my half sister, said. i sat in a chair looking at myself in the mirror as she stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders. “now that you’re old enough, like me, we have one rule.” i looked at her confused when she sighed.

“just one? how is that hard?” i said. she looked at me in the mirror with her eyebrows raised.

“our mother, the goddess of love, sex…heartbreak pretty much. for us to find the one, y/n, you have to break the first one’s heart,” she said. i grew confused. “pretty much just find someone, make them fall in love you and drop them, and then your set to fall in love with the one.”

“so i have to destroy someone’s heart for mine to fall for someone else? what if i end up falling for that one?” i said as i turned to face her. she smiled and shook her head.

“you won’t, i promise, because if you follow these rules, you won’t fall in love with them.” she turned around and pulled out a piece of paper.

“Rule number one is that you gotta have fun

But, baby, when you're done, you gotta be the first to run”

i huffed as luke pushed me with his foot to the ground once again. he smirked at me as he walked over and stood above me.

“i thought you were supposed to go easy on me,” i winced as i sat up. he chuckled and held out his hand to help me up.

“well i thought you were gonna be busy doing makeup once you got claimed but apparently not all aphrodite kids are the same, so im gonna make you the best,” he said as his hand didn’t let go of mine. i looked up at him and i realized. he was my target.

i took a step back and i smiled. “how am i gonna be the best when you are, castellan?” i asked as his cheeks blushed. “or are you just wanting to get close to me?” his eyes widened as he stammered over his words. he shook his head trying to deny it.

“i’m joking, hero, im trying to have fun.” i smirked at him.

***

i looked at silena as she said the first rule, my eyebrows raised.

“did apollo help her write that?” i asked jokingly as she laughed a little.

“now that i’m reading it out loud, it does sound like a song,” she laughed out.

“Rule number two, just don't get attached to

Somebody you could lose

So le-let me tell you”

i walked into the arena, seeing luke cutting a dummy’s head off. i stood in awe for a second and then remembered why i was here. i needed attention.

“i’m starting to think those are real people in your head, hero,” i said as i walked closer. he stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

“i can only imagine if they were,” he said as he picked up the head full of hay and threw it out. “what are you doing here though, thought silena said cabin 10 was off limits tonight.” i shrugged and put my hand on the sword of his.

“that’s the cabin you’re talking about, not me,” i said as he loosens his grip on the sword slightly but gets a grip on it once he notices. “and i was hoping if i could get some private lessons from the best swordsmen.” i smiled at him as he had this dazed look in his eyes. i got him.

“yeah, i guess i could do that,” he said as he smiled slightly. i took a step back and grabbed a sword from a nearby rack and stood in place.

as we were swinging at each other, i noticed that he had lost some of strength and was going easy on me. i knew deep down that it was the daze in his eyes and he was pretty much enchanted. but i was kind of hoping it was him just being tired. shit…i didn’t wanna curse the boy…just break his heart real quick.

my arm collided against his chest as he fell back. i huffed out some air and walked over to him. he was breathing heavy and looking at me in shock. i smirked at him as i held out my hand. once he stood, i patted his chest and placed it there.

“well, hero, looks like the training is working.” i smiled at him. he just smiled and shook his head.

“i was just going easy,” he denied. i chuckled as i took a step back. his face dropping slightly.

“whatever you say, hero.” and i sauntered off. i smirked as i could feel his eyes on me. this was too easy.

***

silena smiled at me as i walked into the cabin. i immediately went to her.

“and where were you at?” she said, knowing exactly where i was.

“just doing my job, silena,” i said smiling. she chuckled and got up and stood in front of me.

“how’s it all going? is it working?” she asked as she fixed some of my hair. i nodded.

“i think i give off something because he was in a daze kind of, like enchanted, and i can feel his feelings. he’s definitely falling for it.” she smirked at me and hugged me.

“too bad it’s all fake”

“Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek

But never on your sleeve, unless you wanna taste defeat”

i saw luke sitting on the beach just looking out in the distant. i shrugged my shoulders to myself and i walked over and sat next to him, playfully pushing his shoulder.

“looks like you need some company, hero.” he smiled at me as he nodded his head.

“only if it’s your company,” he smirked at me. i made myself blush but immediately looked away. i could feel his stare on me as i knew he noticed as he chuckled. he was buying into it so easily.

“what are doing out here anyways?” i said as i looked out to the sea, trying to not make eye contact. it was silent for a sec and i looked at him to see he was just staring at the ocean.

“i’m tired of the gods not taking initiative to claim their kids,” he said. he turned his head and looked to me. “my cabin is a mess,” he smiled. i smiled back and laughed softly.

“maybe if you sweet talk me into talking to silena, she’ll give you at most 3 out 5 for trying.” i said as he chuckled. his eyes stared into mine and i saw them daze over. i smirked at him as i looked away. “sweet talking me isn’t easy though, im hard to impress.”

“oh yeah?” he ask as i felt his daze leave his body. but i could feel there was still something. he was falling more and more.

i smirked at him and leaned into his ear, “for you though, i’d do anything.” i pulled away and could see his face burning red as i got up and left him dazed all over again.

***

silena walked into the cabin and gave me a knowing look.

“luke can’t stop talking about you,” she simply said. “it’s only been a week, how the fuck did you do it?” i laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

“i’m not done yet, silena, but i guess im just moms favorite.” she scoffed as i laughed again.

“sure,” she sarcastically said.

“Rule number four, gotta be looking pure

Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more, more”

the apollo kids sang as i sat with luke, silena and charlie around the campfire. my head was elsewhere, my mind just thinking of the perfect time to break his pure heart. i felt a hand go on my back, i looked over to see luke looking at me worried.

“you okay?” he said. i sat up straighter as i looked at him and my mind wondered. i smiled at him and nodded.

“will you actually walk me to my cabin? i kinda want some alone time,” i sighed out and he immediately nodded. he got up and held out his hand for me to take. i took it and walked away with silena smirking at us.

we walked in silence until we got to the door, his hand on my back as we walked up the steps. we stood in front and i faced him. my hand took initiative as it worked its way up his chest. i looked up to him and i could see what he was feeling. lust. love. my hand snaked to his scar on his face as i leaned up.

our lips met for a brief moment when i pulled away, his chasing mine. i smiled and i kissed his cheek and whispered.

“i’ll see you in the morning, hero,” i kissed him again and walked into my cabin, leaving him going crazy.

***

silena walked in the cabin shaking her head.

“you better end it soon, he’s all for you,” she said.

“you know it’s kind of fun, knowing he’s in love and i’m purely just not,” i said as i smirked. i bent down to grab the paper from my desk. how to be a heartbreaker written in pink with hearts around the border. it was almost time.

***

“this is how to be a heartbreaker.”

luke and i were in the woods, in a private area, doing some sword lessons. i thought it would be a great idea to leave him here. broken.

his sword collided with mine as i saw his face morph with anger. i furrowed my eyebrows as his strength got stronger and pushed me to the ground. i noticed his sword was different. it wasn’t the ones from camp, it was special.

“what the fuck, luke?” i said as he loomed over me. he seethed as he reached in his pockets and threw a piece of paper at me. the title written big. hearts all around it. in the corner, i wrote: target: luke castellan “hero”. “how did-”

“it doesn’t matter how i found it,” he said as he took a step back. his shoulders slumped. “so it was all a lie? the stolen kisses, holding hands, the secret glances, private lessons, they were a lie?” i stood up and rolled my shoulders back.

“what was i supposed to do?” i shrugged as he flinched at my words. “im the daughter of a goddess called love, sex and many fucking more! we have to break hearts to find the one, luke, i would say sorry, but im not. it’s my life now,” i said as i bent down to grab my bag.

he immediately swung his sword at it and i moved away quickly.

“are you fucking crazy, luke!? you could’ve chopped my hand off,” i called out as he looked at me. i could feel him. betrayal. heartbreak. i swear to the gods, mother, this better count.

he walked to me as he backed me up to a tree.

“you may have won this game, but what’s coming next is just what i need to get back.” he said as he pushed me into the tree and backed off. i looked at him confused as he walked out of the clearing. i looked down at the ground as the paper was disintegrating. i furrowed my eyebrows.

“you did good.” i looked up to see a beautiful women. she almost looked exactly like silena, but older. “maybe too good, you didn’t just break his heart, you crushed it.” it was my mother.

“what did he mean? and how can i feel his feelings?” i asked as she walked over to me. she put her hands on my shoulders.

“you have a gift, y/n, when a boy falls in love, you will know everything he’s feeling,” she said. she ignored my first question as she took a step back. “congratulations, sweet y/n, that was just the start, my little heartbreaker.”

as she disappeared i felt myself smile. i succeeded.

from afar i could feel lukes feelings still. he was still in love, no doubt. anger. betrayal still.

rage.

revenge.

war. it wasn’t a feeling but i could hear it in his head.

what did i do?

#luke castellan #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson #percy jackson imagine #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo

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ravens-two · 4 months

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PAC: What's Beginning In Your Life?

This reading includes:

what's beginning in your life

what areas are being affected

synchronicities

The extended reading includes:

advice for this new phase of your life

what you should look out for

how to manifest these changes

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone.

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Queen of Wands, Chariot, Ace of Wands

"I know exactly what I want and who I wanna be" Oh no! - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Pile 1, your life is getting full of fire! You're gaining confidence and passion for your life and work. You're working to overcome limitations and explore your limits, how far can you go, how much can you push? For some of you I see that this is actually related to exercise. Perhaps you're going to the gym to get in shape and test your own boundaries and inner strength. For others this is about work or school. You have a goal in mind and you're working towards it. You know that things won't just happen to you, they require work and sacrifice and you're willing to make it. I see that for a smaller number you this is specifically about turning a hobby into a career. This could be something that you're very passionate about, let's say that it's drawing for example, and you've always dreamed about doing it as career, but never had the opportunity. You're now seeing that you have more experience, more stability and perhaps an opportunity to make it work now.

You'll also be feeling more inspired. It can be literally when it comes to art or to your work. Solutions for work problems just seem to come to you more naturally for example. Or this can be more about the way you see life. Do you know how Ghibli movies romanticize life? That's the kind of vibe I get from this. Instead of seeing cooking dinner as a dull chore, you'll start seeing it as an opportunity to try new recipes and be creative - or an opportunity to show your friends/family how much you love them by cooking them a meal.

The other main thing that's changing is your confidence. You're no longer hiding behind masks. You have come to the realization that the best thing you can do - for yourself and others - is being yourself, so there's no use in pretending to be someone else. You are then cultivating the confidence you need to be a more genuine and vulnerable version of yourself. This is the key to confidence really. It's all about not being afraid of being vulnerable. You might actually want to read about anti-fragility it's a really interesting theory.

On the other side of this confidence there's also a bigger connection to your sexual side. You're becoming more comfortable in your sexuality and sexual expression. You're no longer as bothered about people's perception about you and so you don't mind wearing the clothes that really make you feel good, for example. I also see you becoming more flirty and confident in your social interactions.

most affected areas of your life:

work, career, school, motivation, drive, hobbies, self-confidence

synchronicities: peacock feathers, champagne, bubbles, satin, cats, blue and green, 444, clouds, clover, Leo

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 2

Moon, Fool, Three of Wands

"You don't have to be like everybody else/ You don't have to fit into the norm/ You are not here to conform" Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Hey pile 2! These lyrics from your song seem to really apply to your pile and your reading. You're someone that always has been a little different, always wanted different things and saw the world differently. Unfortunately, this isn't always that well received by the people around us, and so you've been trying to mold yourself into the person you think you're supposed to be. An oh pile 2 I'm feeling that a lot of you have this problem specifically when it comes to your parents. Did you choose your degree or job because it's what your parens wanted? You're very much a people pleaser, pile 2, but more in a sense that you do it to pacify the people around you. Well, the biggest change I see coming for you is that you're coming to the realization that you don't have to conform to what other people expect of you. Based on your circumstances this can be difficult in a multitude of ways, but believe me that you'll feel so much happier living a life that actually feels true to you.

Another thing that is beginning in your life is a period of exploration and better mental health. For those of you who struggle with their mental health or stress and anxieties, you're entering a better and more peaceful phase in your life. This time is going to be less stressful and you'll see a lot of improvement in your mental health. When it comes to exploration it ties in a bit with the last paragraph. I see you trying to get to know yourself better. This could be journaling, shadow work, trying new things, listening to new music, trying a new hobby, new relationships, etc. Basically you're starting a journey to find yourself. And to that I'll say that you'll only find yourself by diving deep within. You have to explore both the light and the dark and confront and accept both of these sides of you or this exploration will be superficial at best.

This could all be tied in for some of you, or for others only some parts may apply. Either way, I also see an exploration of spirituality. You might be religious or not, believe in the divine or not (there isn't a correct answer truthfully), but the reality is that spirituality is an important component of the human psyche. I think that you're asking yourself these hard questions. Does a god exist? Do I believe in the religion I grew up in? What happens after we die? What's our purpose here? What do I believe in? You might explore different religions or practices, like meditation or prayer for example. For some of you this will be an exploration of the esoteric as well. You might learn and try witchcraft, paganism or folk practices. In the end, this pile is all about self-exploration which is great honestly.

most affected areas of your life:

personal development, mental health, psychologically, self-esteem, spirituality

synchronicities: the sea, seam foam, Aphrodite, seashells, fantasy movies, blankets and rainy days, old cd's, bumblebees, wildflowers, Aquarius

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 3

World, Two of Cups, Five of Swords

"Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self-esteem/ Gimme good and pure, what you waiting for?" Blue - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Pile 3 this is all about relationships and emotions. The first thing I'm getting is that you're reevaluating your relationships with others. Do the people around you love and respect you? Are these relationships fulfilling? Do people accept and respect your boundaries? And the other way around too. How are you in your relationships? Do you dedicate as much time and effort to these people/person as they do with you? Remember that it's always a two-way street. I feel like this might be motivated by a conflict in a close relationship that it will force you to reflect on these things. It might also be that you haven't been feeling that fulfilled in your relationships and it makes you want to investigate why this might be.

Another thing that you may be analyzing is if you should keep being friends with a certain person for example, even if your values/interests/lives are so different. What do you two get out of this relationship? It could be specifically about a relationship with a person that you've known for a long time, but now you two have changed so much that perhaps the relationship is slowly drifting apart.

With the Two of Cups here I do have to say that some of you might be getting into a new romantic relationship (or a partnership of some kind, including work). This could be someone that you met either recently or abroad and the people around you are a bit unsure about this person. They might think that this person is trying to steal you away, for some reason? Either way it feels that this new person is very different from the people currently in your life. For others of you, this could be more about reflecting what you want from a romantic relationship. Do you need it to be fulfilled? Are you happy in your current relationship? What do you think it's missing? What could you do to make it better?

Another thing that came up is that some of you might be traveling. For some reason I feel like this is a bigger stay, like spending weeks or months in another place and having to deal with the cultural differences that come with it. On the other hand, though, you also have to deal with the way that it will change you as well. When you get back you won't be exactly the same person that you were before. This time is really about finding people who get you, pile 3. I think that this will be the biggest conclusion for you.

most affected areas of your life:

relationships, love life, partnerships, inner conflicts, goals

synchronicities: cherries, feathers, white roses, lions, 22:22, golden hour, tulips, weather vanes, cotton candy, linen, heart shaped sunglasses, Libra

Check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 4

Eight of Swords, Four of Swords, Seven of Cups

"Life is a game that the universe plays/ We are the pieces in a puzzle called fate/ Life takes its time in its own fashion/ Emotions unfold like a superbloom in action" Highly Emotional People - MARINA

what's beginning in your life

Hey pile 4! The first thing I'm seeing for you is realizing that a lot of the limitations that you see in yourself/your life were placed by you. What I mean is that you'll realize that some of the things that have been holding you back weren't anywhere else but in your head. I think that some of you specifically struggle with what other people think about you, you might even struggle with social anxiety. But that's the thing that's changing right, you're realizing that these things are in your head. It's your brain that puts these fears and limitations in place and they have no actual base in the "real world". I see that others of you are dealing with excessive daydreaming, procrastination, anxiety, fears, and imposter syndrome. No matter what you achieve you always believe that deep down you don't really deserve it. Again, these thought patterns are changing for the better. These things will stop holding you back as much as before. I stress the not as much as before, because these things don't disappear from one day to the other. You need to do a lot of continuous work to make these changes.

Your pile is quite similar to pile 2, especially because it's much more focused on your internal world. The things that are beginning in your life is a time of self-development and inner change. You're getting a better understanding of who you are. I see that some of you are working with your inner child specifically. You might be honoring the things that you wanted to do and be when you were child, this could even include watching and reading the movies and books you loved as a child. This effort to connect with your inner child will be both very healing and help to get you know yourself better.

One very specific message that I get for this pile is that I think that you guys are the daydreamers. You're always making up stories in your head, little scenarios as a form of escapism from the problems in the real world. This could even come from your childhood - hence the inner child work. The problem is that sometimes you become disenchanted with the real world and you would rather live in an imaginary world. What I believe is changing here is your relationship with your whimsy. You'll find a better balance between daydreaming and actually living. Not only that but you'll stop trying to escape what you're living and you'll actually become more integrated and living more in the moment and actually feeling things. You might also turn to art (or something else) to channel your imagination.

most affected areas of your life:

inner world, psychologically, self-development, personal changes, spirituality, inner change

synchronicities: Tolstoy, Tolkien, Chronicles of Narnia, ents, lions, yellow, gold, old books, moths, Ghibli Movies, moss, Pisces

Check out the extended reading on patreon

#tarot #pac reading #pick a card #tarot reading #pac #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card reading

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spacebarbarianweird · 3 months

Note

I know I’m throwing another on you, but you know how everyone writes and pictures dadstarion with a daughter who looks like him? What if we reserved those tables and his first child is a boy who looks like his mother’s little clone 👀

Yep, Astarion's daughter who looks like him is almost a canon! Take my Alethaine or @tragedybunny Estelle! It'sjust difficult to see him as a boy dad!

Masterlist

Headcanons

Boy Dad Astarion

Astarion goes crazy when you get pregnant.

He? A parent? For real?

It must be a mistake.

He even contemplates for a while whether you should terminate your pregnancy, but feels a relief when you decide to keep the baby.

Deep inside, he wants to become a father.

For some reason, he thinks it's a girl.

He is so sure that you are carrying his daughter in your body that Astarion calls the baby "she".

"I can hear her heart beating, love," he murmurs, pressing his ear against your bump.

When labor begins, it's the scariest moment of his life.

If he could get drunk, he would definitely do.

Your child is born in the middle of the night.

It's a boy.

A dhampir. Half-vampire of elven origin

Astarion cries as he takes his son in his arms for the first time.

Once Astarion comes to his senses, he becomes the best father in Faerûn.

He is Raevar's primary caretaker, for he cannot leave his home where there is sunshine.

Astarion tries to be the best version of himself, and more often than not, he succeeds.

The boy grows up to look almost exactly like Astarion - the same soft silver curls, facial features, the attitude.

He teaches his son how to pick locks, fight with daggers, hunt for prey.

They often return at dawn, all covered in mud and blood, but perfectly happy after a night out.

Also, your son is a little gentleman who treats his mother like a queen.

When you are tired, Raevar is willing to do all the housework just so you can relax.

Over time, your son grows into a handsome young man.

He grows his hair according to elven customs and wears ear cuffs.

Raevar also favors elven clothing, though his fangs betray his vampire nature.

Astarion sometimes mocks his chivarly, joking that Wyll should have been the father, not him.

But truth be told, Astarion loves Raevar's good-heart - he's a hero and will be someone's savior one day.

Sometimes bad things happen - a failed duel, a deadly expedition to the Underdark, a powerful vampire lord too strong for a young dhampir.

Astarion's undead heart breaks every time he sees his son wounded and beaten.

He is also annoyed by Raevar's many friends. It seems that he can befriend a drider and invite him over for a drink.

Raevar sees Astarion as a role model, as someone he wants to look up to.

Even though he knows of Astarion's weaknesses and misdeeds, it doesn't make him respect his father any less.

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen @queenofthespacesquids

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion headcanon #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 #astarion romance #astarion headcanons #astarion x reader #astarion x you #spacebarbarian headcanon #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #baldurs gate 3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion brainrot #dadstarion #papastarion #boy dad astarion

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browneyesandhair · 1 month

Text

Non-Exhaustive List of Soulmate Fics: Polin

Okay, I'm bored so I'm compiling my favorite soulmate fics. Here's the Polin edition:

These Days Will Fade Out by noveltyromance

Summary:

Penelope walked in and inspected the silvery words embedded on her skin. She really did meet her soulmate. It wouldn’t have turned colors if he was not hers. “So he said your words,” she mumbled softly to herself in the mirror, “but you didn’t say his.” It only meant one thing. Colin was her soulmate. But she wasn’t his.

tend my garden by runimpossiblegirl

Summary:

The forget-me-not on Penelope´s upper left arm had appeared when she was just sixteen. [Orinally posted with 5700 words on 31/12. Now updated to final version with 6900 and extra Colin POV on 01/01]

i'll use you as a warning sign by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

The words on his body sound like Lady Whistledown. His soulmate - the person meant to capture his body and heart, his partner and love of his life - ruins lives. Perhaps it makes sense that she’s already ruined his. - Or, soulmate AU where the words you write show up on your soulmate's skin.

i might lose everything if i lose the pain by frankchurchillsaysrelax

Summary:

Based on the prompt: On your 18th birthday you get a soul mark - one that would be identical to your soulmates. Colin is devastated that his does not match Marina’s. Trying to lighten up his mood days later - his brothers teasingly console him by saying that Penelope could get his mark when she turns 18 and that’s when she overhears him say that he would never marry her because he didn't think she's his soulmate. And as is Penelope's life a couple years later she gets an identical mark. Now she plans to hide it because she can’t handle his disappointment.

Give Me All The Pain (Give Me Everything) by wasteddarlinglover

Summary:

Penelope Featherington's soulmate hated her. She was alright with that. She hated him just as much. The only reason for their bond to exist was to bring each other pain. Colin Bridgerton's soulmate gave up on him years ago. He was not worthy of love and patience that their bond required. He learned to accept that and move on with his life. When two broken souls are brought together, Penelope and Colin find hope. Neither one of them can be with their soulmate, but maybe they can build something remarkable together. If they manage to let go of the pain, maybe they could even let themselves fall in love.

All the Time in the World by dontmakemeover

Summary:

All ladies of the Ton are instructed by their Queen to implant a TiMER on their wrists when they enter society at age 16. It is the truest and best way to find a Soulmate, with the TiMER counting down until the first time they will meet. Countless marriages have started this way (with at least a few of them ending the same way!) But Penelope Featherington does not highly rate this technology, for when her TiMER was implanted, the screen was blank. And what's more, she has seen the timer of the man she would like to be her true love, Colin Bridgerton, and knows that whoever her soulmate truly is, his is not her.

Latibule by The_Readers_Muse

Summary:

It was said you would be drawn to your one. That was the only advantage you had.

For the Both of Us by logogram

Summary:

A conversation with Fife and Cho leaves Colin wondering whether Penelope is his soulmate. Unfortunately, she seems to have become stubbornly attached to her gloves.

And So the Yandere Met the Bonnet Assassin by Seaowl

Summary:

There was a reason Violet was so hell bent to see all eight of her children married. The most valuable things to them are their soulmates and the family is told all their life that you are to do anything to protect and keep your soulmate. Lie, cheat, kill, frame, anything is on the table. The family that is so big on love that they become quite possessive of those who marry in, even if it is the soulmate of one of their siblings.

i'm the lock and you're the key by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

Penelope is ready to move on. Pining after Colin Bridgerton requires too much energy, too much of her soul. Penelope wants to find her soulmate, but maybe that may not be Colin after all. But… perhaps one last effort is necessary to completely eliminate Colin from her heart and mind. - Or, the “you must sleep with someone to determine if they’re your soulmate” AU.

Would I Lie To You? by LightLeadingMe

Summary:

It has been said and even written that true soulmates cannot lie to one another. They simply were unable to. Not even a small fib could be said to the person. Penelope began to resign herself to the fact that she'd never meet her soulmate, but then she ran (quite literally) into Colin Bridgerton.

Soulmarks by Seaowl

Summary:

Colin has found his soulmate, now he just has to find out who she is.

just let me adore you by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

Colin Bridgerton falls off his horse at age twenty-one and laughs. It’s a full-body laugh, bright and bold and gut-wrenching, as if his soul is finally free. Then he feels a burn across his left bicep, just beside his shoulder and when he inspects his skin, the outline of a detailed feather stares back at him. - Or, now that Colin knows Penelope is his soulmate, he vows to make her laugh in his presence so she can be his too. Or, the role reversal soulmate AU.

#rec list #soulmate aus #fandom soulmates #recs #fanfic #bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #penelope/colin #penelope x colin

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