So my Favorite Part in the book is one little scene near the very end, i don't remember exactly where, but Ponyboy pulls a broken pop bottle on some socs who try to fuck with him because the kid is just sick and tired of being fucked with ig. who can blame him, right?

anyway the socs peace the fuck out bc Pony meant Business and they could tell. Then Two-bit appears from stage left (he was right behind him with Steve ready to back Pony up) and is understandably kind of freaked out. Pony is changing and I imagine it's kinda scary that the baby of the gang is growing up BUT-

Pony starts picking up the glass and it's just? Two-bit is relieved and Pony doesn't get it but it's fine. The important parts of Pony are still there, even if he's getting a little rougher around the edges. He's staying Gold, but he's also getting wise to the world. Both Johnny and Dally kinda got what they wanted, even if it's still really unfair, and Ponyboy is gonna be okay.

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

goofy hermit doodles!! because uhh why not!!

scenes w/ eddie’s song 

I wouldn’t remember me either.      ➥ Stranger Things 4 (Original Score from the Netflix Series)

its actually insane that OFMD has permanently rewired my brain to instantly burst into tears when i hear This Woman's Work now. for the rest of my life, I'll never not think about those two men in the water, both of them on the brink of death in their own ways, reaching for each other like they're each others life raft, played by two men that are certain to be life long friends, having a grand old time together, making new memories along the way and discovering more about each other that they never knew previously. its a beautiful culmination of love and devotion and i don't just mean for Stede and Ed, but between Taika and Rhys as well as the people that worked tirelessly to make it all come to life. i've been so moved by a show to the point that its forever altered me, made by complete strangers that ill probably never even meet, yet its managed to touch my heart entirely. but that's what life is all about though, connecting with others through our love, love for music, for art, for each other, this love comes in all manner of forms, but when its done just right, it feels like i've made a new friend that i'll cherish invariably, or a new piece has been placed in the puzzle of my heart, and ill always be grateful for this gift.

I would to know more about the untitled-Jamie-blue-screen fic, if you wanted to share anything about it : )

Hello terrifyingly talented friend! I am happy to share!!

So this fic started rolling while I was writing 'i learned to walk while he was away', - that story explores some of the 'unseen' effects of Jamie's experiences, specifically what his relationship to expressions of violence (even when positively channelled) might be after growing up with an angry man. The 'untitled-Jamie-blue-screen-day' fic (which is technically 'redacted-title-Jamie-blue-screen-day' fic, I'm a fairly changeable person and the title's redacted purely because it's still subject to possible [who knows, not me] change) is another exploration of some of the 'unseen' or more accurately 'undeveloped' parts of Jamie's psyche that canon skips over.

Specifically, the symptoms of depression he displays in 3x11 Mom City.

I'm a card carrying member of the 'Jamie has multiple missing diagnoses' bandwagon and know first hand what a horrifyingly tricky combo neurodivergence and clinical depression can be.

I use a lot of metaphors to describe/understand the complexities of mental health- when I was studying it, when I'm teaching it and yea when I'm thinking about my own brain :)

Most of the metaphors are computer based- product of the times I guess.

The untitled-title 'blue screen day' is how I unaffectionately refer to the days when that horrifyingly tricky combo decides to be extra horrifying and extra tricky and causes total system overload. The days when you forget how to be a person. That 'blue screen' blink feeling of not functioning, but then it's not momentary, it's not a blink, it doesn't go away. You're seeing with your eyes sure, but you're not really seeing and they don't really feel like your eyes. You exist in your body yes, but do you really exist? Is it actually your body?

(To use plain language; it's a brief and intense episode of severe burn-out, typically bought on by cognitive and/or sensory overload, but sometimes seemingly spontaneous [clinical!].)

So that's what I gave Jamie, a blue-screen-day (sorry buddy).

But I also gave him Roy! And a smoothie! He'll be okay.

(Essentially the story is the idea that sometimes things don't have solutions or answers or a quick and easy fix. Sometimes all you can do is be. Sometimes all you can do to help is be there.)

The fic really is gentle hours, I swear.

Jeremiah Fisher | tsitp 1.06

honestly if i had a bigger brain, i would write an entire android shouto fic

Capcom should hire me to write Ashley because I understand her more than anyone in that entire company

(read tags for more context)

No one:

Every screenwriter putting a female character in a flashback or time skip:

Sometimes I watch this episode and I sit on it, on this scene in particular , think about it so hard because its simplicity holds such a … Subtly tragical tone I ended up catching on my second rewatch (of thousand). And, you know, on my third rewatch it kinda started hurting.

Looking back at the whole season and the way Junpei and Izumi have been written in their arcs and their resolution, I think Junpei eventually remains the loneliest of the lonely between them and it just sucks how Izumi got to open about her solitude to him, then she got support from everyone else and truly felt included in a family, whereas Junpei just had to put up with his struggles on his own, fighting against his own shadow throwing mean truths at him.

This scene in particular is really harsh on him and in my opinion it kinda needed a sort of continuation in the form of a parallelism. Junpei and Izumi are the Frontier relationship that got most amount of those, especially in the bridge from ep 4 to this episode. They got a very linear development always making it clear how they are different sides of the same coin, how they are a mirror to each other and can grow up thanks to looking at the most uncomfortable masks of themselves through each other. So, it’s absolutely a shame the writers allowed Izumi to get away with that.

“Don’t talk like you know!”

Izumi, you just don’t know anything about him.

Still, the most bittersweet and, again, extremely tragical detail is that back then, Junpei didn’t even know he was as lonely as her, either. He just lies down on the grass, staring at her while letting her viciously vent at him. He’s concerned about her outburst, but doesn’t really realize he’s as miserable as her, if not even more miserable, because tell me if it’s not just sad to be a kid believing to have thousand of friends around him, be totally blind about the greyness your life is actually dominated by. He can’t acknowledge the reason why he followed Izumi on the train in a first place was connected to how lonely he felt she was. As lonely as him.

You can laugh about this statement of mine but, seriously, they pulled a sort of Mr Gatsby character here.

On a brighter note, though, I also like wondering if what Izumi says in the very first drama isn’t a hint about how she eventually understood that as well. “You have got lot on your mind but like keeping it all inside”. Maybe, just maybe, she also came to feeling all the stuff he concealed behind his magical tricks.

Honestly, how depressing Junpei’s backstory is. We just got to see a little of it and it still hit home.

(*・ω・*)b♪

your thoughts on the cut jackienat scene are everything and it's really nice to see someone else get it. the discourse from the scene has been draining enough because people don't think it was cut for being out of character when that seems to be the case

also, happy belated!

i'm glad to hear that you ( and others ) agree! honestly, i was quite nervous to post my thoughts on the matter in the main tag, considering how crazy fandom spaces can get nowadays, but i felt so strongly about this in particular that i couldn't help it. my main issue with the discussion surrounding this deleted scene is the fact that it feels extremely pointed. for the last few months, jackienat as a romantic relationship and as a platonic pairing has been gaining steady traction ; they've become a staple to most fics as an essential dynamic and something that heavily matters to both characters. besides shaunajackie it's easily the second most popular ship for jackie, and in a way i think that's the problem. ever since gaining more popularity, there's been very odd comments thrown it's way? people taking every given opportunity to claim they don't see the 'jackienat romantic vision' on edits, saying it would never be a thing because of jackie's one slut shaming comment about natalie, etc etc. before this deleted scene dropped there clearly were handfuls of people who would do anything to tear this dynamic down and then they finally got the biggest chance to do so ... and they did! i've seen people call jackienat's whole dynamic 'completely fanon', people saying this was a satisfying scene to them because of jackienat shippers disliking shaunajackie, and excuses after excuses as to why this scene is, in fact, canon and why it works. overall it was just saddening to see? just feels like a good majority of yellowjackets fans see jackie as shauna's property rather than a fictional character people can do whatever with, so the idea of her having a relationship with natalie quickly became this threat that they had to belittle and claim as ooc at every given opportunity. which is weird! considering shauna has so many other ships that don't include jackie at all. it's also a little amusing since a good chunk of these people happen to ship shaunanat, most of them quickly rallying behind the 'nat pointing a gun at a pregnant shauna' scene as shipping fodder. don't think i've seen anyone saying 'oh shaunanats lost with this one' despite the heap of comments saying this for jackienat.

point is : i find the intent behind people's talk for this scene to be rather weird more than i find the scene itself to be sad or despairing. simply because it is just not canon. when scenes are cut for time, they've usually been filmed first -- considering that said scenes made it into the final, 100% solid script. this is true for the shauna and adam bdsm scene because we've seen clips of that in the actual show, meaning they filmed it and just cut it for time. same thing with a lot of s2's cut for time scenes! lots of the actresses and actors said these moments had been filmed but just didn't make the final cut. to me this signifies a time issue to some degree, especially given how long some of these scenes would've been! but the jackienat thing would've been a couple seconds tops? it was nothing more than jackie sitting outside and then the two of them passing her all while nat gives her a scathing, hateful look. considering we see shots of jackie sitting by herself with the cabin's front door in view, this would've been fairly easy to accomplish! i don't think people get that, per se. which to me signifies it was cut from the script before they started filming, or that by the time they got to the finale they saw this as ooc. idk. it just doesn't make sense for this to be cut for 'time issues' like the way some people are trying to argue. and even if this was the case, it proves that the writers deemed this moment as something unimportant enough to not include.

also, i don't see why this is the be all end all of jackienat either. is it bad to say this scene would've made me like them more? picturing this scene as canon and then having to watch natalie's anguish in s2 ep3 makes her guilt all the more agonizing to me, honestly. it was already such a hard hitting scene : seeing nat treat jackie's remains with respect, to see her shed her walls and be vulnerable with someone she didn't know well but cared for, and to get a peek into the fact she feels so guilty because, naturally, natalie sees this as her fault. they ate jackie because she couldn't find food fast enough. they killed her because she hadn't been there. these are things nat doesn't need to feel guilt and shame over, because jackie wasn't her responsibility or her friend, but she feels them anyway and she feels them intensely. now imagining this scene in a world where the deleted part was canon? awful! those emotions would've been way more heightened, all those personal blames would've had a fraction of truth to them, and natalie would be forced to acknowledge that when someone needed her help, she had just left them behind in the cold. something which would also intensify the pain of her watching javi drown in freezing water all while crying out to her ... a moment which she'd be wearing jackie's necklace. also, i'd find it kind of interesting that it'd be implied natalie has all these complexities and personal hatred over letting jackie taylor die just like shauna. they'd be the two who take her passing the hardest, the ones who blame themselves more than anyone else. to me that's just gayer than what we got canonically lol. but in turn, i think this could've been another reason why it was cut? this guilt and shame and hate was something reserved for shauna alone, because it's so pivotal to her character and growth, to the point that the writers couldn't let anyone really share that same feeling. it would've taken away from shaunajackie, i think, and what makes them special. if natalie genuinely had walked past jackie out of hate only for her to die the next morning, i believe we would've seen this guilt permanently etched into her character from the beginning. people forget just how quickly nat is to blame herself for things! and be very obvious about that blame! just feels like we would've known if natalie had left jackie out there on purpose, which isn't something we know at all in regards to the actual show.

anyway! i've rambled on quite enough. to me, this scene isn't that bad at all, and i don't think this takes away from the potential of jackienat whatsoever. there's really no evidence that it does! even in the worst case scenario of this scene being canon, it just makes the dynamic much more tragic, which fans eat up on this show. and at the end of the day i wouldn't give the discussions much attention, considering most peoples reasons for wanting this scene to be canon are very petty.

two very different kinds of siblings

Was curious what Claes was up to and came across this, from April 2022. Am not normally one for actor interviews but I did find some bits in this striking, specifically:

There is certainly plenty of contact in “Daddy”: snogging, spanking, sodomy. “I thought it was important that we really got in there,” Bang says. “And I have to say, the director and the intimacy coordinator and Terique and I, we did a really good, very respectful job of getting that relationship to be as alive as I thought it was.” Bang is a big fan of intimacy coordinators, who guide actors through sex scenes movement by movement, with the agreement of everyone involved. He recently pulled out of a film that had three major explicit scenes because the director wouldn’t employ a coordinator, saying: “I think they’re just in the way.” Bang explains: “I’ve had directors back in the day who would say, ‘OK, it’s a sex scene. There’s the bed, get undressed, do your thing and I’ll be filming it.’ But I’ll say, ‘Um, but hey, excuse me, this will be far too private if you don’t say what you want it to be. Should it be a tender or a rough thing? Dominant or messy?’ If you’ve put the scene in the movie, you want to say something. It can’t be just about seeing two people shagging.’”

I'm drawn to the... practicality? honesty? framing? of this since I find the concept of actor sometimes a little weird if looked at too closely (separation of self, physical, from self, actual behavior - being a component in someone else's painting - mixing parts of yourself with that which you are not to create something different... and in Bang's case, frequently something 'not nice'). Also feels like a good framing of sex/erotic content in narratives-- "If you’ve put the scene in the movie, you want to say something"

mayonaka no nocturne played on my playlist and now im thinking abt how we're eventually gonna get new knights solos and how its impossible that happyele makes a better solo for ritsu