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#THAT'S THE GOOD THING ABOUT TUMBLR! I CAN JUST EDITS THIS LATER
bellaxgiornata · 3 days
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I still haven't forgotten about the last few asks from the celebration the other week! I will absolutely answer them all, but I've randomly been back on a writing kick so I'm just going with that at the moment while I still have time and inspiration! Currently Frank is on my brain again and I'm trying to get a draft for Neighbors finished this week and hopefully one for You're Safe With Me afterwards.
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But I've got some important information about story updates and my upcoming writing hiatus below the cut for those who want to know what'll be going on with me for the next few months!
Now is probably a good time to mention that once baby finally comes, I'll be taking a little writing hiatus. I'll be 38 weeks on Saturday which means little dude is coming any day now. For a few weeks after that I'll be focusing on baby and my family and recovering. I also realistically know I'm going to be soooo sleep deprived between a toddler and a newborn for a bit. Though my hope is that a few months later, especially when my son starts preschool, I can maybe get back into writing slowly. And obviously as baby gets a bit older he will hopefully start sleeping better so I can get back into things again--because you can guarantee I'll still be feral waiting for Born Again to come out and then afterwards.
But that's why I've been stockpiling rough drafts of stories for a little while now. I'm currently at 8 rough drafts and I've got probably 8 more in varying states of being written. My hope is that I'll be able to occasionally work on editing something up and eventually posting it for y'all. I won't have a schedule though because it'll just be whenever I have something ready and time to post it. I'm also hoping to maybe read some more fics finally and work on a fic rec list to spread the love while my brain is tired (if I can manage reading...).
I appreciate all the love y'all have given me and my stories and I appreciate those of you who will still be patiently waiting for updates while things are changing over here for me! 💖 I still plan to be active on tumblr, too, so I'm not disappearing!
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forgettable-au · 5 months
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W E L C O M E -------
TO THE FORGETTABLE-AU BLOG‼️
by @sunsestart also on twitter!
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This is a pinned post that I'll keep updating where I'll organize everything :]
If you're a Papyrus fan you might have heard of the Papyrus is Gaster theory.
I did and even though I don't think it'll happen I like how it would compliment papyrus' backstory since he doesn't really have one. It's an interesting concept why not make an AU out of it.
THE STORY
This AU is meant to be a full length comic but I'm still working on the writing before I start it
The main story is set on the past, years before the events of undertale and will explain what exactly led Gaster to shatter across time and space and how Papyrus came to be! It will also fluctuate to the present in a post-pacifist timeline where Papyrus is figuring some stuff out.
Keep reading for more links and more info
HOW DOES THIS AU WORK? <----
Here I explain the basics of this au :D !
MASTERPOST <----
Art and comics are all organized here for easier access!
DUBS
Dubbing my little comics is totally fine by me !
As long as there's proper link credit to the orginal post, this blog or my main account (also I would love to see any dubs! so don't be afraid to mention me)
This pinned post isn't finished <3 I'll keep updating it but I accidentally posted it already akshaksjak😭😭the good thing abour tumblr is I can edit stuff, so sorry for the temporary mess
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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FYI artists and writers: some info regarding tumblr's new "third-party sharing" (aka selling your content to OpenAI and Midjourney)
You may have already seen the post by @staff regarding third-party sharing and how to opt out. You may have also already seen various news articles discussing the matter.
But here's a little further clarity re some questions I had, and you may too. Caveat: Not all of this is on official tumblr pages, so it's possible things may change.
(1) "I heard they already have access to my data and it doesn't really matter if I opt out"
From the 404 article:
A new FAQ section we reviewed is titled “What happens when you opt out?” states “If you opt out from the start, we will block crawlers from accessing your content by adding your site on a disallowed list. If you change your mind later, we also plan to update any partners about people who newly opt-out and ask that their content be removed from past sources and future training.”
So please, go click that opt-out button.
(2) Some future user: "I've been away from tumblr for months, and I just heard about all this. I didn't opt out before, so does it make a difference anymore?"
Another internal document shows that, on February 23, an employee asked in a staff-only thread, “Do we have assurances that if a user opts out of their data being shared with third parties that our existing data partners will be notified of such a change and remove their data?” Andrew Spittle, Automattic’s head of AI replied: “We will notify existing partners on a regular basis about anyone who's opted out since the last time we provided a list. I want this to be an ongoing process where we regularly advocate for past content to be excluded based on current preferences. We will ask that content be deleted and removed from any future training runs. I believe partners will honor this based on our conversations with them to this point. I don't think they gain much overall by retaining it.”
It should make a difference! Go click that button.
(3) "I opted out, but my art posts have been reblogged by so many people, and I don't know if they all opted out. What does that mean for my stuff?"
This answer is actually on the support page for the toggle:
This option will prevent your blog's content, even when reblogged, from being shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models.
And some further clarification by the COO and a product manager:
zingring: A couple people from work have reached out to let me know that yes, it applies to reblogs of "don't scrape" content. If you opt out, your content is opted out, even in reblog form. cyle: yep, for reblogs, we're taking it so far as "if anybody in the reblog trail has opted out, all of the content in that reblog will be opted out", when a reblog could be scraped/shared.
So not only your reblogged posts, but anyone who contributed in a reblog (such as posts where someone has been inspired to draw fanart of the OP) will presumably be protected by your opt-out. (A good reason to opt out even if you yourself are not a creator.)
Furthermore, if you the OP were offline and didn't know about the opt-out, if someone contributed to a reblog and they are opted out, then your original work is also protected. (Which makes it very tempting to contribute "scrapeable content" now whenever I reblog from an abandoned/disused blog...)
(4) "What about deleted blogs? They can't opt out!"
I was told by someone (not official) that he read "deleted blogs are all opted-out by default". However, he didn't recall the source, and I can't find it, so I can't guarantee that info. If I get more details - like if/when tumblr puts up that FAQ as reported in the 404 article - I will add it here as soon as I can.
Edit, tumblr has updated their help page for the option to opt-out of third-party sharing! It now states:
The content which will not be shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models, includes: • Posts and reblogs of posts from blogs who have enabled the "Prevent third-party sharing" option. • Posts and reblogs of posts from deleted blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from password-protected blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from explicit blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from suspended/deactivated blogs. • Private posts. • Drafts. • Messages. • Asks and submissions which have not been publicly posted. • Post+ subscriber-only posts. • Explicit posts.
So no need to worry about your old deleted blogs that still have reblogs floating around. *\o/*
But for your existing blogs, please use the opt out option. And a reminder of how to opt out, under the cut:
The opt-out toggle is in Blog Settings, and please note you need to do it for each one of your blogs / sideblogs.
On dashboard, the toggle is at https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/blogname [replace "blogname" as applicable] down by Visibility:
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For mobile, you need the most recent update of the app. (Android version 33.4.1.100, iOs version 33.4.) Then go to your blog tab (the little person icon), and then the gear icon for Settings, then click Visibility.
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Again, if you have a sideblog, go back to the blog tab, switch to it, and go to settings again. Repeat as necessary.
If you do not have access to the newest version of the app for whatever reason, you can also log into tumblr in your mobile browser. Same URL as per desktop above, same location.
Note you do not need to change settings in both desktop and the app, just one is fine.
I hope this helps!
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evilwizard · 3 months
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I do want to say, my views on AI “art” have changed somewhat. It was wrong of me to claim that it’s not wrong to use it in shitposts… there definitely is some degree of something problematic there.
Personally I feel like it’s one of those problems that’s best solved via lawmaking—specifically, AI generations shouldn’t be copywrite-able, and AI companies should be fined for art theft and “plagiarism”… even though it’s not directly plagiarism in the current legal sense. We definitely need ethical philosophers and lawmakers to spend some time defining exactly what is going on here.
But for civilians, using AI art is bad in the same nebulous sense that buying clothes from H&M or ordering stuff on Amazon is bad… it’s a very spread out, far away kind of badness, which makes it hard to quantify. And there’s no denying that in certain contexts, when applied in certain ways (with actual editing and artistic skill), AI can be a really interesting tool for artists and writers. Which again runs into the copywrite-ability thing. How much distance must be placed between the artist and the AI-generated inspiration in order to allow the artist to say “this work is fully mine?”
I can’t claim to know the answers to these issues. But I will say two things:
Ignoring AI shit isn’t going to make it go away. Our tumblr philosophy is wildly unpopular in the real world and most other places on the internet, and those who do start using AI are unfortunately gonna have a big leg up on those who don’t, especially as it gets better and better at avoiding human detection.
Treating AI as a fundamental, ontological evil is going to prevent us from having these deep conversations which are necessary for us—as a part of society—to figure out the ways to censure AI that are actually helpful to artists. We need strong unions making permanent deals now, we need laws in place that regulate AI use and the replacement of humans, and we need to get this technology out of the hands of huge megacorporations who want nothing more than to profit off our suffering.
I’ve seen the research. I knew AI was going to big years ago, and right now I know that it’s just going to get bigger. Nearly every job is in danger. We need to interact with this issue—sooner rather than later—or we risk losing all of our futures. And unfortunately, just as with many other things under capitalism, for the time being I think we have to allow some concessions. The issue is not 100% black or white. Certainly a dark, stormy grey of some sort.
But please don’t attack middle-aged cat-owners playing around with AI filters. Start a dialogue about the spectrum of morality present in every use of AI—from the good (recognizing cancer cells years in advance, finding awesome new metamaterials) to the bad (megacorporations replacing workers and stealing from artists) to the kinda ambiguous (shitposts, app filter that makes your dog look like a 16th century British royal for some reason).
And if you disagree with me, please don’t be hateful about it. I fully recognize that my current views might be wrong. I’m not a paragon of moral philosophy or anything. I’m just doing my best to live my life in a way that improves the world instead of detracting from it. That’s all any of us can do, in my opinion.
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bennyden · 4 months
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User hamatoanne's fic plagiarism
Hello, I’m the author of The Android, an AO3 Robot OC x Reader fic that was plagiarized by hamatoanne on Tumblr in her Aemond x Reader story, System Error. You can read my AO3 post for more info about the issue. As you can tell by the timestamps on AO3 and the screenshots of her now-deleted story, mine was posted months before hers. I didn’t want to make this public, but it appears Anne has not learned her lesson and is grasping at straws to keep her readers in the dark. She’s been deleting her stories to hide evidence of her plagiarism. I think you deserve to know who your beloved writer gets her words from.
I don’t know this fandom, but I’ve heard you guys can get pretty crazy. Control yourselves. The only one who needs to take responsibility is Anne. Don’t send hate to her mutuals. Don’t send hate to her followers. Don’t stalk or harass or dox anyone. Read through this post and form your opinion.
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First bunch of screenshots: A side-by-side comparison of her story (now deleted) and mine (still up and linked above). I took screenshots in advance in case something like this happened so I’d have proof if I needed it. I decided to compare the first chapter of my fic with the first part of hers. I could do the whole thing, but I’m a busy college student and I think just a quick skim of the pictures below is enough for people to see the extent of her plagiarism. 
I have screenshots of her entire post, but I don’t want to make this too long to scroll through and Tumblr posts cap at 30 pictures. I’m assuming some of you have already read her story multiple times, so you’re familiar with the words. If you haven’t, then I should warn you that the fic that she plagiarized is very not SFW. I’ll let you know where the not SFW content starts so you can skip it. 
On the left is my story. On the right is what Anne posted (and took down).
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Not SFW content starts here. 
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Not SFW content over.
Finally, I DM’ed her. This was just before I posted to The Android on AO3 about the situation. To summarize, I wrote about how I would go about the situation and how hurt I was about a bigger creator stealing from me. I admit, I was too kind and too much of a pushover. I just wanted things to go quietly. She later replied with this and deleted her fic immediately. 
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“I was completely stupid for not giving your credit” Why do they always play dumb? You copy that much and can’t even think to put my name there? You credit the artist but not the person who basically wrote your whole story? The story that gave you over 3k notes, so much more clout than any of your other stories has earned you? Total BS.
“I had every intention of giving credit where it was due…But I forgot” Right. Sure. Of course. If she felt guilty about plagiarizing, she would not be so shameless to accept praise like she did. I have examples of where she happily thanked people for complimenting "her work”, but didn’t want to bring other blogs into this, especially since they were none the wiser to her plagiarism. Ironically enough, someone even gifted her a badge for being a good writer the day she replied to my DM. She tagged that post “#a breath of fresh air on a horrible day”. I wonder why her day was horrible. Whoever gifted her that badge deserves their money back.
My thoughts when approaching her DMs were:
If she wants to keep up the story? Fine, just edit the post to say that it was heavily influenced by my story and leave a link to the original. I don’t mind. The readers will see that, click my story, compare the two, and think, “Hey, that’s not just inspiration! She plagiarized!” and her downfall would start from there without me having to do anything.
If she ignored me and didn’t fulfill that request, i would take matters into my own hands and expose her on her own post. Even more damaging.
In the end, she chose to delete the post entirely, getting rid of the evidence and her clout. I actually didn’t expect this outcome since I thought she’d like the clout too much, but I guess she decided this route would be the least damaging to her reputation. Everything was swept under the rug for now. 
And like a fool, I said thanks and went on with my life. But I decided to keep track of her. Because while I was too cowardly to do anything, I knew there would always be someone in the crowd who would take action. And it seems like people did. 
After reading the supportive comments from readers of my fic, I started to regret how lightly I handled it. I wanted to be mature even though I wanted her entire blog to fall and her reputation taken away. But I didn’t want to be a “bad person”. I wondered if I should keep pursuing the issue. I realized that my overly-people-pleasing behavior might lead her to continue her ways. I decided to speak out because others might’ve had their works taken by her and that my silence wasn’t helping. 
Next is her post, now deleted (I wonder why), about how she’s been so sad and how she’s going to be deleting her old stories and starting over. I’m likely not the only one she’s plagiarized from if she’s deleting other stories. At the time, I only saw supportive replies and reblogs on it, but maybe she deleted it after people started calling her out? Idk.
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She’s playing the victim game pretty hard. Acting as a kind underdog even though she’s the big creator who stole from a nobody like me. I know I said on my AO3 update that people shouldn’t send hate to her (and even censored her name after she deleted her story) but I guess I’m a little happy that people sought to call her out on her shit. I wish I was as brave. 
Later, a nice person (we’ll call her Bob because she asked to remain anonymous) DM’ed me directly with a kind message. After seeing this, I decided I should take action and expose all of this since Anne obviously hasn’t learned and wants to keep it all hidden. Bob confirmed that I’m not the only victim of Anne’s plagiarism either.
Bob asked that I not use screenshots of our DM’s so here is a transcription of the important parts:
“Hey! I just found out that one of your fics had been plagiarized by someone in the HOTD community. First of all, I am tremendously sorry that happened…”
(For Bob’s privacy, I won’t explain her relation to Anne. Just know that Anne has refused to message her back).
“I definitely think you should make a blog post. with side by side comparison. I am still completely gobsmacked that she pilfered your entire story word for word and changed a few things. We found evidence that she had plagiarized multiple stories. Not just yours. We found out her mermaid!aemond fic was entirely stolen as well as a few others. She has quietly deleted them and hasn't spoken on them since.”
“We surmised that she takes ‘underrated’ fics from different fandoms and changes the name and that's it. It's almost like she believed that stealing from other fandoms was going to draw less attention than stealing directly from the HOTD fandom.”
So if you noticed that one of your favorite Aemond fics is gone, now you know why.
‘But benny, she still wrote her own sentences and just changed it around to fit aemond!’
Fanfiction is transformative. You know what the source material is and who created it. You know you’re not reading a copied and pasted text with maybe some words and sentences switched around. This wasn’t fanfic. According to Google, plagiarism is defined as, “the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.” (See what I did there? I credited Google. Is it so hard to give credit where credit is due?) She copied people's work, didn't give credit to the source material, and claimed it as her own. That's plagiarism.
I wouldn’t have had a problem if she properly credited me and linked the original story. I wouldn’t have had a problem if she didn’t blatantly copy and paste the entire text and premise. I wouldn’t even require getting permission to write a story based on my fic if she had satisfied those conditions.
She’s a 27-year-old grown-ass woman with enough free time to simp over some blond guy with an eyepatch. I’m a 21-year-old college student who only posts fics during the summer and winter because that’s when school’s on break. I’m too busy writing lab reports and essays to be an active writer online. The fact that she can disrespect smaller writers so tremendously should not be acceptable. The fact that she also deceived her devoted readers and friends about her "works" is also unacceptable.
What can you do about this? To be honest, I don’t know what to do. I’ve never had to deal with this before. I want to be a good person and say, “Don’t send any hate to Anne, don’t harass her. Just unfollow her and stop supporting her.” But that obviously hasn’t taught her anything. She’ll just make a half-assed apology, maybe go on hiatus, maybe disappear, and then pop up again under another name to steal from another creator. If you have any ideas on how to deal with this, please tell us. 
She can try to block me or delete her posts, but the evidence is out and the damage is done. Anything she does to hide this mess will only make it worse for her. I’d appreciate people bringing more awareness to this issue, especially if it can reach the eyes of others she’s taken from. 
Thanks for reading.
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totallyhextra · 7 months
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People? In MY computer?? It's more likely than you think!
The following is a fanvertisment and is not connected to the show. ****Yet.*** *Also yes, this is the fourth time I'm posting this because TUMBLR WONT LET ME EDIT SPELLING MISTAKES!
ANYWAY,
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Once upon a time, back in 1987, Dire Straits put out this music video for “Money for Nothing”, which, as you know, was a song about wanting my MTV. 
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The video was made by two guys (Gavin Blair and Ian Pearson) on a very moody computer. After the video went out, these two guys went to a pub:
Ian: “Hey, we should make a whole show like this!”
Gavin: “Dude, making three minutes almost killed us.”
And so it was decided!🎉
The two guys were joined by two other guys (Phil Mitchell and John Grace) and created the Hub, which then became Mainframe Entertainment. They got even more people, and then they all holed up in this hotel.
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They were mad lads with a dream: a whole cgi animated show, and they made it happen a whole year before Toy Story!
Behold! ReBoot!
(Yes that fever dream was real)
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Now before I get any of this:
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Let me lay this down. If you can’t with the animation of the first season because it was CUTTING EDGE IN 1994, you can close your eyes and listen to it. ReBoot wasn’t just a CGI gimmick. The characters are fully developed, the voice actors are peerless, the plot is sharp, and there’s so many easter eggs that you’ll never find them all.
Never
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(And yes the episode "Bad Bob" was the actual catalyst for Fury Road. Look it up)
ReBoot is about what life is like in a computer (in the 90s, because it was the 90s) called Mainframe (because of course it is). People are sprites, the guys that look like 1s and 0s are binomes (which represent 1s and 0s). Bad guys are viruses, and the good guy is a Guardian named Bob, who is a certified cinnamon roll.
In the first season the eps are light and self-contained, mainly because there was constant friction between the Mainframe studios and the Board of Standards and Practices.
They still got away with some pretty dark stuff, like Megabyte (virus) making Enzo (the kid) watch his dog get sliced open (dog got away, obviously) , Dot (sprite) have a hallucinatory breakdown, and the fridge horror of realizing the thousands of worm things (nulls) that plunged off a bridge to their death were actually people.
And Hex's (virus
best girl) scary face single-handedly traumatized an entire generation. 🙂
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But busting through a window was a no go, because WhAt If tHe cHiLdReN dID iT tOo?
Anyway, halfway through the second season, ABC cut them loose, so they were like, fuck it, we’re going to start going hard. The story shifted from episodic to arcs and things start to get serious.
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Third season the show moved to YTV in Canada, which gave no fucks about shielding the innocent children.
So it got DARK
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How dark?
The UK refused to show the entire season, so the audience there had to wait until pirated copies made it across the pond to see how it ended.
Also by 1997, the animation was gorgeous. (Best example of third season animation I could think of that didn't have spoilers)
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The show was green-lit for a fourth season on Cartoon Network, but halfway through production Warner Bros took over and the same fucking thing happened.
Because Mainframe was halfway done, they decided not to scrap all of it, but knowing they wouldn't be able to finish it correctly, Mainframe stripped anything that would hint at Season Four's true ending, then left what remained on a cliff-hanger of angst.
FOR 22 YEARS
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(It's also why the last four eps of season four seem to make no sense)
And so it was.
Other crap happened, the soul left Mainframe, and its animated corpse spat out “The Guardian Code” in 2018. 
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But never say die! The year is (almost) 2024, 30 years later. ReBoot shall rise from the dead, because here come the documentary!!
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Do you dare see what you’ve been missing?
What the (UK) government doesn’t want you to know?? 
Then come on down to ReBoot!
We got:
Magnificent bastards with sexy voices!
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(Tony Jay at his best)
Kickass women who could probably crush your head with their thighs and you’d enjoy it!
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Innuendos in a kid's show!
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💗 This adorable cinnamon roll!! 💗
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Insane third season glow-ups!
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YOUR NEW GOD
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These guys!
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(Gay roller-skating binome is my boi. I named him Jerry)
Nonstop cultural refs (You'll never find them all. Never.)
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(There are literally videos dedicated to trying)
So many computer puns!
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Body Horror!
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Existential Crisis!
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HAVE I MENTIONED YOUR NEW GOD?
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This is it, folks! The real thing, the gem hidden in the moose-filled forests of Canadia!🌲🌲🌲
Take a trip inside a mid-90’s computer!
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See the World Wide Web! (omg):
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Witness the original purple Gamecubes that randomly fall from the sky when the owner of the computer (OUR GOOD LORD THE USER) wants to play a game. If it lands on people and they lose, they dissolve into mindless energy leeches, fated to tormented by their former bretheren for all of eternity.
Just like in real life! 🙃
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So watch the eps! They on YouTube!
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I think they're on Pluto, Hulu, Sling, and Tubi too! Also DVDs for people who have the patience to wait for them!
WATCH! BELIEVE! SUFFER THE SOUL-CRUSHING RAGE OF THE SEASON 4 CLIFF-HANGER!* (come on, its fun!)*
HYPE THE DOC!
The more people hype, the better the chances of actually getting it finished.
NOW SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE!
And now I will leave you with this screenshot from the ep "Painted Windows", where dicks can clearly be seen drawn upon the wall behind the fleeing anthropomorphized television.
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(PS: If you heard the clown pic at the top of the page in your head, you're welcome)
IMPORTANT UPDATE
This message is now approved by Gavin Blair! He's an awesome guy. Show him some love on TWITTER (fuck you musk) at @TheRealMrSweary Also, if you want to share this with non-tumblr friends, here is my attempt at a webpage version:
theseventhstarprojects.com/REBOOT.html
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slayingfiction · 1 year
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How I push through writing when I don't feel like writing.
Here are some of the techniques that I use to help me write more often or more consistantly when my laziness/depression/anxiety starts to take over.
I watch TV. I don't do it with the purpose of zoning out though. I watch something popular and well-liked such as the LOR or Harry Potter to get new ideas on how I can develop my story and apply their in-depth world-building ideas to help develop mine. Without plagarizing of course!!!!
Zoning out and daydreaming. As I have mentionned before, daydreaming is a huge part of my story outlining and world-building process. I'll stand in the shower, or take a walk and think about how my charcaters would act/react/behave in situations, mundane or not. Doing this gives me a better sense of my characters, and sometimes gives me ideas for scenes I use later on.
Work on writing related projects. These work well at keeping me distracted while still being productive on my writing goals. Example, I have one story I am working now, I made a new language (alphabet and numbers included) to include as a cool and fun component for the book. So, at times when I don't wan't to write, I continue creating the dictionary (very fun, 8/10 would recommend). Also, for the same book, my characters don't work off the Georigian calendar and 24 hour clock, so I've been working at creating a new calendar (harder than it seems, 2.5/10 dont recommend). These are side projects that help my story, without having to write.
Reading. You saw this one coming, I know. Reading is great, especially when you're editing, your writing style will unconsciously change to be more similar the author you were just reading. Also, most importantly, I'll be reading and think, "this story is really good, but you know what story I like even better? Mine." then change to writing.
This one is my biggest life saver!! I learnt about a year ago that sometimes I'll get bored of writing a story, and have difficulty keeping on track. That's why I finished my first book in 2016 and just started editing the first draft last week. The solution for me was to work on multiple projects at once, because it was much harder to be bored of multiple stories. I stick to 2, but will sometimes add a third. This is easy for me, because I have a list of over a dozen series I want to write. Don't abandon one project for another, use them as a distraction/ motivation for each other, so you're always furthering at least one project. I've never heard someone say, "oh no, i accidentally worked on this other writing project for three months instead of the other writing project I was doing. Dammit." No, we're just happy we have written something. Be sure to have well outlined story lines before starting, don't just start writing randomly or you'll reach a point where you don't know where to go from there.
Author/ writer projects. Maybe this is building a following, or community to share your projects and engage with. Tumblr, Insta, Reddit, whatever it is. My hope this year is to start up my website to offer publishing services (editing, graphic design, short writing courses) and build a following as a writer. (See what I did there? Never a bad time to self-promote ;) ) Having your own projects like this will help you in the future when you're going to try to publish and sell your books!
Talk with friends and a writing community. Never underestimate the passion that will burn inside you when talking about your story, or when others are talking about theirs. Surrounding yourself with a positive writing community can be the best thing for you as a writer.
Write or read (your story) every day. I'm not going to be one of those people that say you need to write 1000 words a day, that's a lot. But maybe try for 100? That could maybe only take 5 minutes, and at the end of the year that's still over 36 thousand words of a novel. Or just read your story, and I've always found it helped me get in the creative mood.
Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your characters, your story, or just puts you in the mood to write. Then play it ONLY when you're having trouble writing. Playing it while writing will not help, you'll get annoyed with the songs.
Just really can't do it today? That's okay, take a break. You deserve it. There's always tomorrow.
Does anyone else have ways they push themselves to keep writing? Let us know in the comments!
Happy Writing!
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brights-place · 5 months
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Clay x sassy fem! Reader Nsfw and sfw headcannons?
When I say sassy I mean she’s bold, straight forward, annoyed easily and other stuff. She’s strong headed and doesn’t take no for a answer type of sassy, and maybe bratty during sex too👀…
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Clay with an sassy S/O
Pairings: Clay X Reader
Warnings: Fluff, Smut and NSFW content MDNI! A/N: These are for those freaky people and clay simps I'm talking about me aswell yall... I love clay so much AHEM! Anyways I'm not gonna be on tumblr for alot cause yk Im prepping for some stuff for the next couple of weeks!
SFW
- You being sassy is so entertaining for him
- You being straight forward and bland makes him snicker especially when Viva tries to do something dumb with the two of you when hanging out You'd be most of the time voice of reason and clay also being an voice of reason for an slight amount before giving in so you are one who has to take control
- Loves how you can be bratty and rude towards people but can melt in his hands easily if he praises you for the smallest things
- When you get annoyed he soothes you easily by placing an hand on your arm or shoulder
- You two would be an power duo for work situations and just for your personal life - he tangles your and his hair and tail together as he tries to hold you back from going to insult or punch someone cause they talked smack about Clay and Viva (I headcannon they have tails, claws, fangs and paws cause its so cute)
- He loves when seeing you stand up for other trolls when needed and was so determined to make all putt putt trolls safe!
-he pretends that he hates when you act out and get pissed but secretly he loves when you're a brat and enjoys the sight
- He loves how bold and straight forward yet sassy you are but you are so different in bed (NEHEHHEHEHEHE *gremlin noises*)
NSFW
- OHOHOHOHO I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS
- He could be rough some days and soft on others it depends how you act but since your sassy and bratty he snickers. - When he was trying to work once you kept touching him groaning and whining about wanting him - When he said no to not letting in cause he was busy with work you literally left for an moment before appearing under his desk smirking up at him
- Clay wouldn’t admit it but when your bratty he enjoys it so much cause he can make you submit to him later on after he fucks the brains out of you
- When your being bratty and whine he likes to put you in your place
- biting hard and leaving hickeys as he grips onto your waist and thighs a bunch of times, whispering praises and degrading words against your ear
- Loves how he makes you whine after you kept trying to fight back for dominance but failing and you end up hiccuping in pleasure
- Overstimulates you so much
- Teases you he would just slowly thrust in and out of you or tease the tip of your member as you beg for him for more and cling to him sobbing
- When you continue being sassy he enjoys it so much and likes to place you in different positions while tugging your hair back
- decided to Mirror fuck you to show how he makes you feel this good and that you should obey him more while your drooling and he leaves marks on your skin
- He loves having control when you are doing it so he likes stopping his movements on purpose just to hear you whine and beg for him to go back to railing you
- He can be very cold, teasing you just to rile you up to see if you don't follow the rules and try be more straight forward and bratty.
- Uses overstimulation as punishment will force orgasm after orgasm until you are crying, begging for him to stop obviously you still wanna continue it though.
- Loved how he made you switch up so fast from being an bratty sassy troll to an drooling submissive person with how easily he man handles you
- Amazing at aftercare and make sure you feel special
reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
©brights-place 2024 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!
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daisyvisions · 7 months
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✦ Day 19 - Face F*cking
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‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: academic rival!Changmin x afab!reader
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 1.8K
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), will consider this a dark fic, face fucking, blowjob, blackmail (sexual favor - don't read if triggering) , mean!changmin, slight fingering and mentions of it, slight handjob and ball massaging, dacryphilia?, some graphic descriptions, names used (sweetheart, whore, slut, good girl - wow that's the whole quad), a bunch of swearing, reader is basically being used here, let me know if I missed any more! Proofread once, will edit later if needed.
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: Did not expect how this one turned out if I’m completely honest, but here you go! This was fun to write, different tone than what I usually do! Fun fact, story was based on this little Tumblr game I did long time ago.
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet
✦ Kinktober Masterlist ✦
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“Love me or hate me, both are in my favour.”
A picture quote you mindlessly scrolled pass as you were on your phone taking a break from a paper that was due at midnight. It’s not that you procrastinated this specific essay. In fact, you could even do it in your sleep. That’s just how fast your brilliant brain works.
Today just seemed like any other normal day. Wake up, go to school, come back home, the usual routine. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. But not even your brain could conjure up the events that were about to unfold in three… two… one…
Ding dong.
You looked up from your phone, eyebrows knitting together in confusion from the sound of your front door ringing. Who could it possibly be? You didn’t plan any hangouts with friends nor did you order any takeout for dinner. You think for a moment to check if you had any deliveries coming in-
Ding dong.
You got up from your chair and placed your phone down on the desk to answer the door. As soon as you swing it open your eyes slowly look up to meet another pair of eyes you were definitely not expecting to see at all.
His figure leaning against the doorframe like the men you read in your books. But only this time, you wanted to punch him.
“Hey sweetheart. Missed me?” He smirks down at you.
“Changmin? What the hell are you doing here?” You question.
“I could ask myself the same thing-” He suddenly walks into your hallway uninvited. You scoff at his rudeness (not that you were surprised, he’s always like this with you anyway.)
“Cozy-” His eyes survey the room. “-didn’t expect you to live in a place like this especially with that icy attitude of yours.” He turns his heel to face you, you roll your eyes as you close the door and walk towards him, meeting in the middle of your living room.
“Why the fuck are you here?”
“No need to get aggressive, just here to collect that favor you owe me.”
“Favor? I don't owe you any favors what the hell are you talking about?” Your patience wearing thin as his words dance around you instead of getting straight to the point.
“Oh… you don't remember?” His eyes gleam with a hint of mischief. “Let me refresh your memory then-” He turns his back to you as he walks towards the couch and plops himself down, instantly manspreading and getting comfy as if were his own home.
“If I can remember correctly, you owe me a favor from helping ward off that jackass during Younghoon’s party. Grabbing my arm and pretending I was your boyfriend so that he could fuck off. Ringing any bells?”
“Yeah, and I thanked you for it-”
“No no no. You didn’t thank me.” He interrupts you. “You said ‘Never doing this again but I owe you one.’”
“That counts as a thank you-”
“C’mon now sweetheart. You’re smarter than that.” His black orbs staring you down, slowly making you feel unsettled. He suddenly gets up from his seat and walks towards you like a predator, slowly walking you backwards until your back hits the wall.
“Enough stalling. I’m here to cash in my favor now.” His hand resting at the side of your head.
“W-what did you have in mind?” Your voice slightly shaking. His other hands lifts to hold your chin before the corner of his lips slowly curl upward.
“On your knees…”
“I’m sorry?” Your eyes widen. Did he just-
“Are we speaking two languages? On your knees. Or else…”
“Or else what?” You try to play it cool and hide the fear coursing through your veins.
Suddenly, Changmin pulls out his phone, plays the video in his gallery, and shows it to you. You were like a deer caught in the headlights as soon as you saw the figure moving through the tiny screen. Said figure was moaning and playing with themselves like some kind of homemade porn.
It was you. It was a video of you touching yourself.
“Give that to me!” You try to reach for his phone, but Changmin already anticipated your moves by holding the phone high up beyond your reach.
“Nuh-uh. I didn't say you could touch my phone now did I?”
“Where the fuck did you get that?” Panic and anger radiating from your body.
“I have my ways.” He smiled at you as if he surprised a friend at their birthday. But this was not a gift at all.
“That was for my ex’s eyes only. How. Did. You. Get. It?” You attempt to reach for phone once again.
“Well, he's not the smartest of the bunch. Seriously you dated that idiot? Expected more from you.” He says with a disappointed tone.
“Changmin this isn’t funny. Delete that NOW!” You demand him.
“No can do sweetheart. Grant me my favor and I’ll consider. If you don’t, this hot as fuck video will be played in the auditorium for everyone to see. How will the whole school think of their precious little valedictorian now?”
As you look into his eyes, you could already tell he’s not playing around. You would know this, you see that look every time he would try to win against you. And you can’t put your whole reputation down the line. Not like this.
You gulp down the saliva in your throat and let out probably the biggest sigh of defeat you’ve ever uttered your life. You pulled the hair tie out that was on your wrist and hastily tied your hair as you sink down to your knees, looking up at him with the face of disgust.
“Such a good girl. Was that so hard?” He coos at you. “Now, get to it before I change my mind.”
You hesitate for a moment before you reach out your hand to touch his bulge. Your eyes widen in surprise and confusion as soon as you touch his already hard member.
“But you’re alrea-”
“What? You think I didn’t already touch myself watching your video?” He says this like it’s common knowledge. “Needed something to work with. And trust me, it fucking worked.” He smirked down at you.
“You’re disgusting.” You grimace at him.
“And you’re taking way too slow.” Changmin unbuckles his pants and instantly pulls out his cock from his boxers.
If anyone told you your rival’s dick was rock hard right in front of your face, you would’ve vomited. But here you are, in this exact scenario. His cock flushed pink with a hot mushroom tip oozing out with what you probably thought was the most delicious pearls of precum you’ve ever seen.
“If you want this done quick, you better listen to what I say got it?” He raises his eyebrow. You nod your head in response.
“Good. Now kiss it.” You immediately hold his length in your hand and close your eyes before giving the tip a light peck, already tasting him on your lips. You give another peck to his tip before kissing the under side of his cock. Planting each kiss gently but firm at the same time.
“Fuck that’s it. Keep kissing my cock.” Changmin hisses at the feeling of your soft lips. His hand resting on the wall the balance himself. He groans suddenly when he feels your other hand massaging his balls as you continue to leave hot kisses on him.
“You’re such a little tease you know that? That’s what I’ve always liked about you. Getting me so riled up all the time just wanna fuck the brat out of you.” He mumbles as he watches you.
You’re not gonna lie, hearing him dirty talk like that sends your core throbbing like a bitch in heat. You keep kissing his cock until you’re suddenly licking it, practically making out with it at this point.
And somehow you don’t even realize that you’ve stopped massaging his balls just to snake your hand under your skirt to rub little circles on your sensitive clit, trying to relieve the ache down there.
This action doesn’t go unnoticed by Changmin however, making him smile from ear to ear at the sight beneath him.
“Touching yourself now are we? You were always a selfish one.” He tuts.
“But that’s alright. I’ll allow it. Just thank me. Say it-”
You pause kissing his member to look up at him with a raised eyebrow, replacing it with your hand jerking him off.
“What?” You slightly tilt your head to the side
“Go ahead sweetheart…Thank me.” He holds your face with his free hand and places the pad of his thumb on your bottom lip.
“Thank me. Like the dirty little whore you are.” You scoff. Of all things, he’s still looking for that? His eyes go wide at your response.
“No? Rather take my cock instead of saying two simple words?” He pulls your bottom lip with his fingers, making you whimper from the slight tug.
“If you aren’t gonna thank me, then might as well treat you like a fucking slut.” As soon as Changmin says this he swats your hand away from his cock and grabs it firmly and squeezes your cheeks to open your mouth with is other hand and shoves his whole length inside.
Before you even have the time to process what’s going on, both his hands are grabbing your face as he fucks himself in your mouth.
Gluck gluck gluck.
That’s all the sounds you can hear ringing in your ears as Changmin groans in pleasure. He fucks your mouth with raw aggression, you’re sure your throat’s gonna bruise after this from how his whole length goes in and out. He’s bigger than you anticipated, making you slightly gag as small tears from fall from your eyes.
“You’re so pretty when you cry, especially when you’re like this.” He continues to fuck himself into your mouth. The way he manhandles your face as he quickens his thrusts has you getting wetter by the second.
And without warning he instantly shoots his hot load down your throat as his hips stutter. Swallowing the warm salty liquid as it infiltrates your taste buds… and it’s intoxicating.
You cough out and try to catch your breath as he pulls his cock out of your mouth, tucking it back inside his pants before letting out a sigh of relief.
“Such a good girl.” He looks down at you with a post orgasm haze in his eyes before zipping his pants up and walking towards the front door. Your eyebrows knit in confusion.
“W-where are you going?” Your raspy voice calls out to him.
“You didn't think I was gonna stay did you?” He turns the knob and pulls the door open.
Before he sets a foot out of the door he looks back at you over his shoulder and smiles one last time,
“You really should've just said ‘thank you’ instead…”
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turtletaubwrites · 4 months
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One Piece x Introverted!Reader (pt. 1?)
Thank you anon for this request! This is my first time writing headcanons, so I hope you enjoy!
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Summary: Headcanons and drabbles for Zoro, Sanji, and Robin with an introverted partner.
Word Count: 1327
Rating/Warnings: SFW, Just Fluff, maybe a smidgen of Angst, Alcohol
A/N: I've had to start splitting my posts from the ask, tumblr was flipping out every time I was editing. I hope you don't mind I've started linking them instead!
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Zoro
Zoro enjoys this part of you, and you find an easy rhythm with each other.
You can spend hours near each other without speaking, and it feels comfy and safe. Reading a book, or working on your own tasks while he works out is an almost daily ritual (taking plenty of breaks to watch him, of course). 
During the many feasts and celebrations that seem to occur, Zoro tends to loosen up more with booze, and he’ll wrap his arm around you during conversations. He’s gotten to know your body language well, and even drunk, he’d notice if you were uncomfortable or worn out. He wouldn’t even make an excuse or say goodbye to the group, he’d just drag you (or pick you up) and find a quiet spot to relax together. Preferably with a bottle of sake.
If Zoro notices you having trouble speaking to people in public, he might try to find ways to help you feel stronger without bringing it up directly, like teaching you breathing exercises, or power stances, etc.
“Why are you teaching me this?” “So you can feel, uh… Well, you’re a pirate. Pirates need to breathe… good.”
Drabble
“You okay?”
You pulled your hands away from your temples, the dull headache still creeping on you. Zoro sat beside you, spreading his legs out on the dirt, his back against the large tree.
The rest of the crew was laughing around the fire, another triumph to celebrate with the locals. 
“It’s just been a long day. I’ll be good in a minute.”
He hummed, setting his hand out between you in case you wanted to hold it. You did. 
“You don’t have to. They’re too loud anyway.”
Your lips pulled into a small, but grateful smile as you leaned onto his warm shoulder. His fingers squeezed yours gently, before his other hand brought a bottle to his lips. 
He gestured it toward you, and you hummed your ‘no’ before letting your eyes close.
Zoro’s quiet warmth beside you filled you up. You never felt like a burden with him. He would just join you, as if it was normal. 
“Thank you.”
He huffed a laugh, voice low.
“Like I said, those idiots are too loud. I’d rather be here with you.”
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Sanji
Sanji prides himself on meeting your every need, but it would take some practice for him to figure it out, unless you’re clear with him.
He wants to spoil you, to show you off, to bring you out on dates at every island.
If you’re not open with him about your needs to recharge, and he sees you getting drained with him, he might get worried. He'd wonder what he’s doing wrong, and would overcompensate.
Eventually he’d connect the dots, but if you just tell him then he’ll cater to you. He wants you to feel cherished, and he won’t mind making changes for you, as long as he knows what you need.
But he will have a hard time not showering you with compliments all day, often in front of strangers and even enemies. 
“My sunshine, my darling. You look so gorgeous under the stars like this. Don’t mind them, I’ll kick their asses so I can get back to worshiping you.”
Sanji would take note of all the things that comfort you. Whatever items like books, sweaters, fidgets, etc, and he would make sure to have them in reach for you if he saw your tells.
He’d also love whisking you away from any situation. If he noticed your demeanor shift, or if you leaned against him and whispered that you needed to leave, he would make up any excuse to get you out of there.
“My sweetheart needs some tea, we’ll catch up with you later. No Usopp, you don’t get any tea, go away.”
Drabble
“My love, is this dinner not to your liking? We can go back to the ship, I’ll make you whatever you like.”
“No Sanji, it’s delicious,” you said with a weak smile, guilt riding you for your drop in mood in the middle of the date he’d set up in the local town.
The look of concern on his face made you sigh. 
Why do I always have to bring people down?
“Please, mon coeur, tell me if there’s something bothering you. Is it something I’ve done?” 
“No, Sanji, I’m so sorry. I just have a hard time around a lot of people for too long. I love our date, I just get drained sometimes. I’m sor–”
“Don’t be sorry, dear. How about we take this to go? We can eat at the park on the way, or back at the ship? Whatever you need.”
The hurt and concern was gone from his face, replaced by a soft smile that made you lift your eyes to the ceiling to stop the hint of tears from welling up.
“I’m sorry I ruined–”
“Mon amour, I won’t listen to another word of that.”
His tone was firm as he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, almost a fierceness in his eyes now.
“And I will boil anyone that’s made you feel this way before. I’m happy with you anywhere. As long as you’re happy.”
You bit your quivering lip, trying not to think of partners in the past that had gotten angry at you when you’d need a break, when you didn’t want to go out. 
Sanji was different. Now that he knew, he checks in, he makes changes, and that pressure you used to feel is fading. 
“Anything you need, my love.”
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Robin
You’d never have to worry, Robin is always your safe haven.
Even around the rest of the crew, Robin seems to have a quiet little corner, and you can sit with her, recharging as she reads, sending you a gentle smile now and then.
At parties, Robin will catch your gaze, often pulling you away from the group to go explore the area on your own. Always hunting for books, pets, and cozy spots.
If Robin notices you’re uncomfortable with people near you, she’d literally spawn arms on you to push them back a bit. Usually would only do this within the crew, and everyone would laugh while she pulled you away from the more rambunctious crew members. (i.e. Luffy hanging on you, and yelling directly in your ear, lol)
Robin is an introvert, and she’s found a great balance for herself. She helps you figure out what you need, and what your limits are, and it feels wonderful to have someone understand and support you so well
She’s the best girl 🥰
Drabble
“Mmhm,” you nodded, sipping your drink as Nami and Usopp chatted with the group’s new friends.
You hadn’t been able to chat for awhile now, brain slowly slinking back in your skull with guilt as you tried to keep a friendly look on your face.
You coughed to cover a gasp, the group turning to focus on you.
“Uh, excuse me. I’m going to grab another drink.”
The arm that had spawned on your back to tap gently on your shoulder tapped again until you turned to that side. There was Robin, smiling at you as she sat at the bottom of a staircase.
Letting out a strained breath, you made your way to her, already feeling lighter.
“Care to take a break with me, darling?”
“Yes, please,” you breathed, kissing her cheek as you sat beside her.
Robin leaned against you, people watching as you closed your eyes for a while. Now and then she would let out a soft hum or a low chuckle, and you grinned. Robin saw so much, and you loved to hear what she learned from people just by watching them. 
There was no pressure to return to the group. You could stay and watch with Robin, you could head back to the ship. You could do whatever felt best, and Robin would still be Robin. She’d still smile at you, just like this.
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Likes and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!
a/n: Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think, normally I just write a whole ass thing, lol
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desertfangs · 6 months
Note
Since you write a lot do you have tips for people who want to write more?
Hi, anon! I can sure try and tell you some of what works for me!
Ignore advice that you don’t find helpful (that includes these tips!)
Writing is a process, but your writing process is always going to be unique to you, so if something doesn’t work for you, trying to implement it is only going to make you miserable. Like some people will tell you to write every day, but sometimes the pressure of that is going to be too much. Basically anything that doesn’t work for you, chuck it in the bin. You don’t need it.
Put your word processor in full screen
I write in Scrivener, which has a “composition mode” but you can also just put your document on full screen to minimize distractions. That way it’s harder to flip over to check Discord or Tumblr or whatever. Of course, I still exit out of full screen every time I need to look something up in the thesaurus and then I end up spending 15 minutes screwing around on the internet so you know, it's not a perfect system.
Work on several things at once and don’t be afraid to step away if a story isn’t working
Granted, my writing method is like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, so I tend to start a lot of stuff that fizzles out after a few paragraphs (or a few thousand words 😭😭) and I know juggling multiple things does not work for everyone.
I personally usually need at least 2 current WIPs, so I can switch to the second when I get stuck on the first. This means even while I’m ruminating on one fic, I’m writing another. But I have friends who literally can’t write on more than one project at a time or their brains will explode, so again, it’s just about what works best for you.
[BRACKETS]
If you’re stuck on something like a detail or a fact you need to look up or a piece of dialogue (“How the fuck would Lestat respond to THAT?” is my constant refrain, my cats are tired of hearing it), just put something in brackets like [Lestat replies with something flirty or witty] or [Fact check if X] or whatever it is, and then you can move on and keep going and not lose your momentum.
Set a Timer
If you're struggling to make yourself focus and write, set a timer for 10, 15, 25 minutes (whatever increment of time works for you!) and write until it goes off. You can keep going after if you're on a roll, or your can stop for a while, but it will get you into the mindset of writing. And even if that's all you do that day, hey, you wrote for 10 minutes!
Kill your need for perfection and that critic in your brain
I am still working on this but it’s true! You can make your WIP more perfect in editing. The old adage that you can’t fix a blank page is correct. And honestly, a lot of times I will write something and think ‘ugh this is no good’ and then go back and read it weeks later and really dig it. Or I figure out what it needs to make it better. (Or sometimes it still sucks and we just pretend it never happened.) But no one else has to see your first drafts! So don’t stress about making the first draft super good or agonize too much over word choice. Just get words on the page and worry about making it better later.
I hope you find some of that helpful, Anon!
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phoenixyfriend · 3 months
Text
A lot has been happening today that rep calls could affect. UN vetoes, KOSA, Julian Assange, UNRWA's funding crisis and Israel's demands that it be completely dismantled, the large number of bills we just learned are on the docket for the coming week, and even the good news that is recent successes by the BDS movement.
And like... I care about this stuff. I want to talk about it. But it takes an emotional and mental toll to do it, and it takes time, and... there are two reasons to write up reference, update, information posts:
Compensation. I'm not a journalist, but if I were, I would in theory be getting paid for the information I collect and share to my audience. However, I am not, and am doing this for free. I have gotten maybe $5 in donations since I started this project, and while I recognize that this is probably because people are (quite rightly) donating instead to Palestinian charities or local campaigns or something, it's a basic fact that I am not actually being compensated for this work.
Promoting change and activism. This is in fact my main goal: to have a positive impact on current events by giving people a guide on the news and politics because there's so much happening that's hard to keep track of, and if I'm already doom-listening to half a dozen political podcasts, I might as well save other people the trouble, right?
The thing is, like... most of the reblogs on my guidelines and helpful posts are from me, to me. I am the one reblogging. I am desperately trying to get these things to circulate so I can make a difference, but... no dice. Some of the posts are admittedly pretty long (my 'how to call your reps, here's some verbiage' post is 3.4k words), and I can imagine some people are saving it for later, and then maybe forget, or they don't want to share something controversial, and like... I do get that. I do.
But it does mean the posts aren't circulating, and thus they're having less of an impact, and I can't help but feel like there are other things I could be doing to help that would be more effective. More bang for my buck, except it's my time and effort instead of my money. Like, maybe it would have more an effect if I hunted down a wider variety of elected officials I could bother instead of instructing other people on how to bother theirs? Maybe going to protests (which would be a huge commitment due to distance) would be more effective than trying to help ensure that the effectiveness of "I actually have a vote and you are losing it" of calls has the weight of numbers behind it.
Especially since I did try to blaze it, and tumblr mods rejected the post. I don't know why. It's not against ToS, since none of it was disinformation or election interference, which is the only reason given on the FAQ for why things might not be approved for blazing, but who knows.
Maybe tumblr just decided the possible blowback on them for blazing a pro-ceasefire post would be too much.
I don't know. I just... it's just really disheartening to try to help and it gets stymied because, as much effort as it might be, it doesn't reach more than a (comparatively) tiny audience, especially when my relatively low-effort polls and shitposts get easily ten times as many notes with way less energy put in.
EDIT: This is not a post that I need to have reblogged. this is just me bitching. This a vent post. What I am asking people to reblog is my activism posts that I spend hours on to try and help nudge things in a better direction. Please reblog THOSE. This one doesn't need reblogging unless you have an actual comment. Reblogging this post just to reblog, with neither useful comment nor encouragement, is not helping me with my issue of 'not paid, not making an impact' or helping with any important causes.
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ichorai · 8 months
Text
hell, yeah ; roman roy ; part three (m).
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pairing ; roman roy x f!reader
synopsis ; pain was an old friend for the both of you.
words ; 14.4k
themes ; fluff, angst, drama, slowburn, suggestive, childhood friends to lovers
warnings / includes ; depictions of mental and physical abuse, talks of sexual misconduct (cruises incidents), mentions of death, a lot of sexual/suicidal jokes and general foul language, a lot of business talk, roman’s implied demisexuality, kendall is Losing it this chappie, fucked up family dynamics, imaginary dead cats & real dead sisters <3
a/n ; tumblr is being a bitch and not letting me turn off beta editor so :) what was originally going to be one massive chapter of s3 is now going to be broken down in shorter pieces!
series masterlist. main masterlist.
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“Logan Roy was personally and fully aware of the crimes committed aboard Brightstar Cruises,” said the news reporter. “Kendall Roy says his father paid millions of dollars to hide and cover up criminal activity at the cruise line.”
You shut the tablet off, pinching the space between your brows as you drew out a deep exhale. 
“This is fucking insane,” Roman muttered under his breath as he scrolled through Twitter, under his brother’s trending hashtag. “He’s gone off the rocks.”
Leaning forward, you asked the twins, “You guys don’t think he’s telling the truth, right?”
Rome shot you a quizzical glance. “Kendall doesn’t know how to tell the truth. It’s against his biological nature.” After a moment, he let out a high-pitched, “But…”
“What?” asked Shiv.
“I may not be team Kenny here, but, uh… Dad isn’t exactly unsqueezable right now,” he said. His eyes met yours. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering if Kendall just fucked us over. Again. I mean, obviously I didn’t want him to be the scapegoat for cruises but this is—this is just something else entirely.” Then you nudged Shiv. “What about you?”
The woman screwed her lips into a purse. “I’m thinking we just need to back Dad right now. But… what am I actually thinking?” She lowered her voice to a whisper you could only barely hear. “I’m thinking, ‘Is he toast?’”
Her brows pulled together, wondering if she should’ve divulged that information to either of you. 
“Yeah,” you said, clearing your throat. “I think there might be a chance that he could be burnt.”
The three of you stood in silence. Roman closed the stupid bird app before he could see another edit of his brother to a Lana Del Rey song, and slid his phone into his pocket. 
It was then that Hugo and Gerri strode up, expressions grim. A Kendall-shaped bomb was dropped on them, and they were all scrambling to get things together whilst Logan stared angrily out of a window.
“Hi. Listen, I’m drowning in calls,” said Hugo. “I just want to deny, you know, any kind of speculation. So, uh, I’m just checking—we’re all good if I say, for a starter, that he never hurt anyone and he never touched anyone personally?”
Roman scowled, as if it was a ludicrous question to even take into consideration, and Gerri answered on everybody’s behalf. “You can reassure on that, Hugo.”
A second later, Logan’s voice rang out from across the room. “Did you know?” he asked. “Connor? Roman? Shiv? Did you know?”
Apprehensive, the siblings crept closer to their father, who still had his back turned to them. You crossed your arms and listened on from behind Roman.
“Did you know he was going to do that?” he queried once they were all close by. “I was wondering.”
“Obviously not, dad,” Rome said.
A muscle in Logan’s jaw twitched. “Uh-huh.”
Roman scratched at the back of his head. “Kendall’s mentally ill. He’s insane.” He needs help, he wanted to say, but wisely bit down on his tongue before it could slip.
There was a long moment of silence. Shiv eyes darted from her father to her husband. 
Finally, Logan turned to face his children. “Everyone. Gather up! Battle stations—let’s go.”
The small group rounded around a table with Logan at the very head. It was Gerri who started with a proposal, all heads turned to listen to her.
“I suggest I call the DOJ, and we right away let them know how horrified we were to learn of these allegations. We can tell them we intend to form a special committee and we can inform them which white shoe law firms we are considering to thoroughly investigate and promptly report back their findings,” said the woman.
Shiv watched her godmother with mild unease. She was a woman to look up to, she was competition, she was better than anyone else here, and she was an accomplice. Then, her eyes darted to you, your fingers silently drumming along the table’s surface. There was no doubt Logan would be forced to announce his successor soon. Would you be competition for the throne, as well? You’d certainly make for a formidable CEO.
“Do we cooperate?” asked Logan.
There was a brief moment of puzzled silence.
Gerri’s brows furrowed as she replied, “With the government? Uh, yeah. I think we’re gonna have to cooperate. I mean, we were under pressure already—”
“Unless we don’t,” Roman cut in.
“That’s ridiculous. Not cooperating would be like shining the fucking spotlight right onto us. This is a public company—we tanked privatization in Turkey,” you vehemently protested.
To that, Gerri agreed. “We don’t know what they have or what they might get. There’s only one real play here.”
“What if I don’t want to pull down my panties so fast?” grumbled Logan.
“Then we pull up the draw-bridge. The story would be that he’s exploiting these poor women—and that’s very sad. Twitter would tear him apart. You were grooming him for the top and, wow, would you look at that? He relapsed, and he blew it,” Roman said. Both you and Shiv exchanged worried, distasteful glances. “He’s a bitter fuck-up that needs to be psychiatrically evaluated. Of course, you’re the big baddie, so everybody jumped on board.”
Brows cinching, Shiv asked, “What about these papers he says he has?”
“Uh… fake. Or stolen, if they even exist. Are we even worried about these papers? We’ll go after him for corporate theft, then,” he spouted off. “This is—you know—not a nice thing to say about your son, but maybe chop him up into a million pieces and throw him into the Hudson? 
You destroy Kendall, it falls apart.”
It was strange to think, just twenty-four hours ago, the two brothers were quite amicable with each other. As brotherly as people like them could be, at least. Now they were on opposite sides of the chessboard, waiting for the play.
Frank and Karl started listing off a couple stats, and Shiv sat forward in her seat.
“Kendall’s changed the game,” she said. “Noncooperation now, it wouldn’t—it’s just too hot out there. I think it’s very high risk.”
“Everything’s high risk if you’re a pussy,” Roman said, picking at his nails.
You frowned. “If we don’t cooperate, it’ll just make us look all the more guilty.”
And what if we are? The brief thought crossed your mind. What if everything Kendall said was true?
“If I stop picking at scabs and saying sorry, who knows where we’ll end up. Admissions of wrongdoing—that’s billions out the door,” Logan said. 
His words made your expression falter just a little bit. 
“Get the raisin,” your godfather told Hugo, referring to the American president. “Let’s go to the top.”
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The planes heading back to New York were readied soon after. Just as you stepped out of the car that took you to the tarmac, your phone began to buzz in your pocket. To your relief, Roman was busy chattering to Gerri, and you were able to step away from the group to pull your phone out.
Kendall’s contact name stared right back up at you. You sucked at your teeth in thought, before swiftly answering.
“Hello?”
He sang your name then, in a pitch too high for his caliber. 
“What do you want?”
“What do I want?” he parroted. “I want you in, Y/N. You’ve got a premium spot right by my side, in the new company I’m going to build. You’re the glue, dude. You are.”
A shifty glance back at Roman and Shiv, Logan and Gerri. You took a few steps closer to the plane. 
“Is it true?”
“What?”
“What you said on TV. That Logan knew about cruises and paid it off.”
A brief pause.
“Obviously,” he said. “Obviously it’s true. I’d never lie to you, Y/N. You’re like—you’re like a sister to me, you know?”
“Have you called Shiv? Offered her a place, too? Roman?”
A longer silence. 
“No,” he finally said.
It was a lie, you knew it clear as day. But you didn’t know exactly which part of it was a lie.
“I can’t trust you,” you murmured into the phone, shifting the device in your palms. Roman’s eyes were now on you. He waved, and you waved back, shooting him a thumbs up when he gestured to the plane. “You understand that, right? I can’t trust you, as much as I want to.”
Before he could respond, you abruptly hung up, and quickly shoved your phone back into your pocket to jog to the rest of the group.
“Who were you talking to?” Roman asked once you caught up with him, mildly suspicious.
“Karolina,” you quickly lied. “She wanted to know what the play was.”
“Mmh. Right.” He nudged his shoulder into yours. “We’ll be okay.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Roman’s eyes searched yours, but you averted them when his dad approached the group. His sunglasses were perched high on the bridge of his nose—you could see your worried reflection in them. He asked for a lawyer: a good one, preferably a woman.
Lisa came to mind, one of the most reputable lawyers in the country, conveniently a friend of Shiv’s. 
“Shiv, Roman, Gerri, Y/N—you’ll all go back to manage New York,” said your godfather. “No need for me to go running back like a slapped girl. Looks weak.”
Pursing your lips, you offered him a nod. “We’ll take care of it.”
“Good,” he said, patting your cheek affectionately. Once, then twice, then his hand fell back down to his side. He used to do that when you were a young child, sporting pigtails and scraped knees. “Good.”
Then, he ruffled Roman’s hair. “Fuck off down there, Tumbledown Dick.”
And with that, the two of you, along with Shiv and Gerri, boarded the plane.
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“As I step back temporarily…” began Logan, surveying Karl, Frank, Hugo, and Tom in front of him, “who do we like as CEO?”
They stared at him blankly. 
“I don’t give a fuck,” Logan huffed in exasperation. “It’s name plates. Come on! Brain dump. Speak, and let a hundred flowers bloom.”
Unsurprisingly, Frank and Karl didn’t hesitate to offer themselves up first. Tom watched the older men apprehensively. The two were quick to be pushed to the side, and Logan snapped his fingers.
“Who else?”
“I mean, I imagine you’re looking at a kid. Or Gerri,” said Frank. 
“Yeah. Yes. I’d like a kid, obviously. So—Shiv or Roman. But we’d love a woman. So, Shiv or Gerri. But I’d like experience. Which would be Roman or Gerri.”
Leaning forward in his seat, Hugo cleared his throat. “Well, there’s one obvious person who’s got all three of those. Y/N, she’s young, she’s a woman, and she’s experienced. A perfect candidate.”
Silence stretched thin between the men. Logan tilted his head in thought. Tom quietly excused himself to run to the bathroom.
On the plane heading to New York, Shiv’s phone began to ring, and she excused herself to the back where neither you, Roman, or Gerri could hear her. Gerri pushed her glasses further up her nose as she studied a text message on her phone. Silent, she gestured to the two of you to take a look. 
A message from Frank. They were picking a new CEO, right then and there.
When Shiv came back quiet as a mouse, Roman started up a bitchy catfight with his sister for not sharing with the group.
“How come Frank called you and how come you told them?” Shiv asked her godmother. 
Gerri shrugged. “I’m just a very straightforward person, Shiv.”
“What’d you hear?”
She glanced at her phone once more. “Just that there’s a number of names in contention.”
“All of us, probably,” you said with a mild grimace.
Roman slung his arm over your shoulders, jostling you ever so slightly. “Care to make it interesting? Throw a bit of money on the table?”
“I’m already pretty fuckin’ interested,” Shiv replied, nose wrinkling. “I think I’m good.” With that, she turned to her side to look out the window.
Drawing in a shallow breath, you loosely intertwined your hand with Roman’s. “You think you’d be ready to take on the mantle if you got the job?” you quietly asked him.
“Fuck, yeah. It should be me, right? I’m the most logical option.”
You stared at him for a moment, wondering how much of what he’d just said was utter bullshit. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
Roman tapped your nose twice and you fixed him with an exasperated look. “Like you don’t agree with me. But you do, right?”
“I don’t know, Ro. I don’t think what Kendall pulled means you should suddenly be crowned king,” you muttered. “I don’t think any of us should.”
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When you eventually passed out beside Roman, your legs thrown over his, he waved a hand in front of your face, just making sure you were actually asleep. As gently as he could, Roman slid away from your legs to get up and set them back down on his seat. He bent at the waist to kiss your forehead and you murmured something in your sleep, but thankfully didn’t stir anymore than that.
He made a bee-line for the plane’s bathroom, locking the door behind him.
Then, he called his father.
“Oh, Romulus,” Logan’s voice buzzed through once he answered after the second ring.
“Hiya, Dad. Can I just—can I speak to you for a moment? You free?”
“Sure.”
Roman leaned his weight against the sink. “Well, um, it’s already getting out what you’re thinking about so… I just wanted to throw a couple things in the ol’ lobster pot.” 
“Mhm.”
Squinting at his warped reflection, Roman said, “I think it should be me. It’s my time. I can do it, I want it, and I think I can pull it off.”
A long silence. 
Roman scratched at the back of his head, a bout of nerves suddenly scratching within his chest. “Uhm, yeah, I think it should be me. But… if you don’t think I’m ready, which, uh, totally valid, I would completely understand, and I’m not saying I’d agree with that, but, you know—maybe it could be Y/N. She’s… she’s a good, fresh face for the company. She’s good at this shit. All the corporate managing shit. And if—if she doesn’t work, Gerri is a prime contender, too. A couple years under her, then maybe… maybe it could be me.” He cleared his throat and drummed his fingers along the faucet. “And, listen, I know you’ve been sweet on Shiv. I love her like a brother, seriously, but I just don’t think that it’s time for her, you know? For whatever reason it ain’t Romey time, then, uh… maybe it’s crony time.” 
He winced. 
“Mmhm,” was all Logan said.
“I hope I haven’t, uh, overstepped here.”
On the other end of the line, Logan smiled. “Nope. Thank you, son.”
“Okay. Alright. I’d love it, but, uh, you know, I’d understand if—I do want it, though. No hard feelings if, uh…” He was rambling. Logan never liked it when he did that. One time when he was thirteen, Logan gripped his cheeks so tightly that it ached and snarled out a warning that if he heard another uhm come out of him, he’d toss him to the fucking wolves. Good times. “Yeah. Love you, Dad. Bye.”
“Uh-uh,” Logan said, and hung up first. He locked eyes with Frank. “Roman’s out.”
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When the plane landed, Shiv got a call from Logan.
“What?” asked Roman. “What’d he say?”
“He wants me to go get Lisa to be his lawyer,” she said. “He told me to tell you guys to wait airport adjacent, though. He might need someone to fly to Boston for investors.”
You frowned. “Fuck. I thought I’d be able to go home for a bit.”
Shiv arched a brow. “You’re more than welcome to. But, you know, Dad wouldn’t like that very much.”
That kept the rest of your complaints quiet.
Once the four of you disembarked the plane, Shiv took a car to head after Lisa, and the three of you were taken to a fancy hotel nearby. 
Gerri got her own room right beside yours, and she told you to shoot her a message if anything of importance came up. You gave her a half-hearted smile and a nod. You were rooting for her, really.
Roman took a step in the direction of your room despite having his own across the hall, shooting Gerri a smirk and a salute before she could make her way in. “If you hear the bed rocking through the walls, that’s us having wild, passionate sex. Feel free to drop in if you want.”
Rolling her eyes, Gerri shut the door in Roman’s face.
The hotel was large and spacious, and you were quick to shed your outer layers, sinking onto the bed with a groan. 
“I miss home,” you said when Roman kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie. “I’ve been held hostage in a different country and then stuck on a fucking yacht with the most dysfunctional family for way too long. I wanna go home.”
He laid down beside you. He couldn’t really understand how you were feeling. His house was mostly empty and lacked any true life. It didn’t actually feel like his home.
“Yeah, I’m fucking exhausted.” he said nonetheless. Then he tugged you closer and pressed his nose against the side of your head. “But I’m not too tired, if you catch my drift.”
“I’m not having sex with you in a random hotel with Gerri next door,” you deadpanned, though there was a slight laugh to your voice.
Roman snapped his fingers. “Would you prefer to have her here, watching? You little sicko.”
Finally, you laughed, and shoved him away. “I’m tired, Ro. I’m gonna go take a shower and knock out.”
“Hm. Can I join?”
“You tell me,” you said, knowing that Roman wasn’t ready for that just yet.
The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds. Roman shrugged. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
You kissed his cheek quickly, before pushing off of the bed. 
A steamy shower later, you stepped out of the bathroom in the comfier clothes you made sure to pack. Roman sidled past you to wash himself up next, but not without pinching your side on the way. He shut the door and locked it before you could retaliate.
You waited until you heard the spray of the shower start up. 
Only then did you grab your phone, dialing Logan’s number. You hoped he was still awake. 
To your relief, he picked up after the third ring.
“Hi, Uncle Logan.”
“Hello, dear. You and Romulus are doing well in the hotel, I hope?”
You sat down on the edge of the bed. “Yeah! Yes, he’s just in the shower right now. So, I just wanted to clarify some things.”
“Go on.”
It felt as if there was a heavy weight on your chest. “I just… I know that you’re in the middle of picking a new CEO, and I know I probably look like a pretty good option to get the company out of hot water right now. But…” You exhaled softly. “I love you, Uncle Logan, but I don’t love this company. And I—I just don’t want to be the face of it.”
You drew your knees up to your abdomen and wrapped an arm around them. 
“Mhm,” Logan said.
“I hope that doesn’t, uh, hinder your perception of me in any way, but… yeah. I don’t want it. I’m perfectly happy with the job I have now. And—if you ask me, I think Gerri is the best person for this role.”
“Hm. Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate your honesty.”
Well… that was certainly a better response than you anticipated. You half-expected him to get angry and cuss you out.
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. Did you do the right thing?
“Bye, Uncle Logan.”
“Sleep well.”
With that, the call ended. 
Five minutes later, you got a text message from Gerri. Two words, and that was it.
It’s me, it said.
Another one pinged through a minute later. 
Shiv blew it with Lisa.
Your brows raised. Roman was certainly going to have a field day once you told him.
You shot her a reply. 
Congrats, Gerri. I’m glad it’s you.
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The next day, Shiv was nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t answering her phone, and she’d turned off her location. Logan was beyond furious, yelling through the phone at both you and Roman to keep a watchful eye on Gerri and to try and find Shiv. Once the call ended, the two of you gave each other meaningful glances. There was only one place Shiv would go after she felt slighted. 
She’d gone to confront Kendall. Maybe to scope out what he was doing for Logan. Or maybe just for herself. You didn’t quite know her motif just yet.
“So… we’re going to Kendall?” Roman asked you.
“That’s where she’d be,” you replied. “But let’s not… tell your dad yet.”
“Sounds good with me,” he snorted. “He’d have a fucking heart attack.”
Before the two of you got into the car, Roman mumbled something about not wanting to turn up empty-handed, and bought a box of a dozen fresh cinnamon rolls from the airport. 
The drive there was quiet and tense. Roman began anxiously drumming his fingers on the car seat, then moved to doing it on your thigh and you didn’t bother stopping him. You pulled out your phone and shot Shiv a text, though you were nearly certain she wasn’t going to answer.
Everyone’s looking for you. I hope you know what you’re doing.
Once you got to Kendall’s base—which was just his ex-wife Rava’s house, because he had nowhere else to set up—Jess was the one to greet the two of you on the lower levels.
“Kendall’s a bit busy at the moment, but he’s told me to just send the two of you up.”
“Thanks, Jess,” you told her, not unkindly. Sometimes you felt bad for the woman. She was bright and intelligent and a hard-worker, and it was clear that she had so much potential. It was a shame she was glued to Kendall’s side.
An elevator ride later, the two of you stepped into Rava’s living room. And, to none of your surprise, Shiv was right there on one of the clean grey couches.
“Oh, wow. Lookie, lookie. Alright, okay,” deadpanned Roman. “How come you’re not answering your phone?”
Shiv lifted one of her shoulders nonchalantly. “I’ve had it off. No agenda.”
“Right. No agenda.”
“How is he?” she asked.
“Fine. Worried about you,” you said. You took a seat on the couch across from her and Roman took to wandering around, touching just about every single piece of decoration he came across. 
The red-head narrowed her eyes at you. “So, uh, how are you feeling about Gerri as CEO?”
“Great. I think she was the best choice.”
“Uh-huh. And you didn’t want it for yourself?”
“No.” There was no hesitation to your answer.
“Right.” Shiv laughed as if she didn’t believe you. “Of course you didn’t.”
Roman’s lips twitched as he leaned against the backrest of the couch, leering over his sister. “What’s your fucking game? What are you even doing here?”
“Why? What are you guys doing here?” she shot back.
“Here looking for you,” said Rome. 
“Sure.”
Rolling his eyes, Roman haughtily said, “As far as you know, that’s the fucking truth.”
Before anyone could say anything else, there were echoing footsteps down the hall, and Kendall appeared, a silly smile plastered across his face.
“Here he comes,” said Roman. “The attention whore.”
“Hey, Rome. Y/N.” He stood in front of his brother, glancing back and forth between you and him. “How are you guys doing?”
Tilting his head, Roman replied, “Great. Thanks for asking. It’s just been a really—great few days. You know, being a hostage held at gunpoint, and then my brother decided to fuck the family company over on a whim. It’s been great. How about you?”
“I’ve been good!” said Kendall, propping his hands up on his hips. “Certain amount of regret, but you know—pretty cleansed.”
 It took all you had in you not to heave out a grand sigh. “Cleansed,” you mumbled. “You could’ve just gone on a spa retreat for that. Didn’t have to pull all this shit. I think a clay mask would do you good.”
Kendall shot you a mildly amused look. “I needed to do this. And yeah—I still meant every word of what I said to you.”
You frowned. He was clearly alluding to the phone call where he was offering you a spot with him. “Right. Oh, and, uh—Ro brought you those cinnamon rolls from the airport.”
“That’s so sweet. That’s kind. Thanks, Rome,” said Kendall, glancing at the blue little box on the table.
“Shut up. Just eat ‘em or don’t,” Roman said, standing behind the couch and patting your shoulders. You reached over and rubbed his hand.
Finally, Kendall rubbed his palms together and addressed all three of you. “Look, guys, can we start on a clean slate? You didn’t like how I handled things with Dad. Sure. Whatever, I’m sorry. But that’s for me and him. Here’s the thing… he’s over, so let’s work together to take the company over and help him move on out.”
Roman wrinkled his nose. “Uhm… well, I’m just here to spy on Shiv, so—”
“And I’m just here to get you to back down,” Shiv told her older brother.
The four of you fell silent when a group of Kendall’s busy worker-bees crowded into the living room, holding stacks of files and papers and binders.
Shiv blew out a sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to tell you how much of an asshole you are, but can we do it somewhere we don’t have to fold in Rava’s dog-walker?”
“Yeah. Sorry, yeah. Follow me. Uh—we can go into her room. Sophie’s room.”
Roman helped you up off the couch and snorted, “I’m surprised he remembered his kid’s name. Uh, which one was she? Right! Sophie. Or was it Sophia?”
The two of you snickered under your breath, and filed into the room behind Kendall and Shiv.
“Don’t touch any of her shit,” said the oldest out of the four.
Of course, Roman reached out and brushed his hand along all the little toys and trinkets lining her desk and drawers. You were the last in the room, and you didn’t even get the chance to reach out and shut the door behind you before Kendall was rubbing his hands together.
“Okay. So… uh, it’s pretty simple, really. Let’s gang up on dad and take him down.”
“Well, fuck. At least wait until the door’s closed,” you said, just before kicking it shut. Patting Roman’s shoulder, you took a seat near the foot of Sophie’s bed while Shiv made her way to the very top.
Kendall grinned sheepishly, though you could see the apprehension in his eyes.
“Why didn’t you come to us before?” Shiv asked. “Because look—it’s a real fucking mess now.”
You thought back to the yacht. How Kendall was offered up as the sacrificial lamb, unexpectedly. Of course he’d have no time to confer with any of you.
The grin on his face seemed to taper away. “It came together in my head a bit late. And, you know—I mean, I knew what I was gonna do, but…”
Roman’s brows furrowed. “That was spontaneous?”
“Well, I spoke with a lawyer—”
“Oh, wow! He spoke with a lawyer?” Roman parroted in a mocking tone. 
“But they advised against it. I don’t wanna rehash it all but—I was effectively acting alone.”
The words made Roman roll his eyes so far into the back of his head it was a wonder he couldn’t see his brain. “Right. A spontaneous, heartfelt out-pouring of thoroughly lawyered emotion.”
“You guys can think whatever you want, in the end, of me. My offer still stands.” His eyes were on Shiv, then on you. 
You drummed your nails against Sophie’s soft blanket. “Kendall… you can’t just expect us to drop everything and trust you blindly. Do you understand how much we’d be risking? You have to give us something to work with here.”
Scoffing, Shiv said, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m here to get him to back down.”
“On Dad’s behalf,” Roman added. Was it a question or a statement?
Kendall nodded twice. “Right. Uh-huh. So if I say that I won’t back down and I’m not interested in negotiating any deals, you’d just call him and tell him to take a hike?”
Before anybody could say anything else, there was a knock at the door, and Jess’ head popped through.
“He’s here,” said Jess.
“What? Who?” asked Roman.
“Con. Yeah, send him in,” Kendall said. The grin was back on his face.
Roman laughed under his breath. “Right. Thought I heard a clown car pulling up.”
“Ideally I’d like to make a media appearance. All of us,” Kendall told the three of you. 
Immediately, he was met with noises of protest and sour faces. 
“Sweet,” Roman droned. “Are we gonna be wearing costumes that you have designed, asshole?”
“Yeah. That’s not happening,” Shiv chimed.
More hesitantly, you added on, “That sounds like an awful idea, Kendall. No offense.”
The door opened again, and Connor came in with a wide smile. He greeted Kendall with a hug, then swung his gaze to the rest of you.
“Pop’s looking for you guys, you know,” he said. He sat down beside you and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “You okay? You look tired.”
“Could be better, Con. Could be better.” You spared him a half-hearted smile, then shrugged.
Shiv leaned back against the headboard. “We’re here on his behalf.”
Connor laughed, and sent his half-sister an amused glance. “Oh, sure, honey. Me too. All about Dad. That’s why we’re all here.”
Bored, Roman began wandering around the room, glancing and poking around in Sophie’s walk-in closet. He pulled out a frilly pink t-shirt and held it up to his chest. “You think this color suits me?”
“Put that back,” Kendall admonished dismissively, but didn’t bother to take it away from him. Instead, he continued right on with the topic of conversation, taking a seat on an ottoman. “Okay, can we just—can we turn off the devices and get into this? If this shit was just epiphenomenal, maybe it could be ridden out. But these incidents are symptomatic of a foundational sickness within our father and this company.”
Roman snorted. “Hmm, don’t he use that tongue prettier than a twenty-dollar whore?”
Chuckling, Shiv tilted her head. “So what’s your point?”
“My point is… the milk is going sour. You know, the great whites from politics to culture, they’re rolling off the stage. It’s our time.”
“You mean us?” Roman asked, giggling. “The multi-fucking-ethnic transgender alliance of twenty-something year-olds we got here?”
You shot the man an incredulous look. “Kendall, you’re a rich, middle-aged white man. I’m sorry if your image doesn’t exactly scream woke extravaganza.”
He waved the two of you away. “Okay, listen. Big picture, we’re at the end of the long American century. Our company is a declining empire inside of a declining empire. People are killing themselves with guns or dope so fast that we’re losing pace. We’re, uh, we’re fat-fingered fucks and we can only live on cream. US supremacy is waning—”
“Why is that a bad thing?” you cut in, nose wrinkling. 
Kendall held his hand out, as if to gesture at you to keep quiet. “What I think is, within that context, we can become omni-national and reposition. Because actually, we’re not tied to anything culturally or physically. So, we’re actually in a great position to leapfrog tech. Information is going to be more precious than water. Combine all our news operations, and become the global news information hub.”
You winced. It was a bad idea. A terrible idea. It reminded you of the Pierce acquisition but just… a hundred times worse. And what the hell does omni-national even mean?
“Amazon is twenty years old, and Gates is an old geezer. Detoxify our brand, and we can go supersonic.”
Silence. Utter silence. 
You and Roman stared at each other, as if trying to reassure each other how bullshit everything he was saying sounded.
“What do you say?” Kendall asked. “Are we interested?”
Roman hummed. “Mmh. There’s just something about betraying our father that doesn’t sit well with me.”
“He’s a central player in a rotten cabal that has basically eaten the heart out of American democracy—”
“Rotten Cabal is a good name for a band,” Roman chimed.
“Dad’s not on trial for that, though, Ken,” said Shiv. 
Hotly, Kendall defended, “Maybe he should be.”
“If he didn’t do it, it would’ve been someone else making the same dollar off the same shit,” said Roman. 
Leaning his weight onto his knees, Kendall turned to look back at his brother. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe we’re all irrelevant. Maybe there’s always going to be death camps and maybe the planet is going to fry, and there’s nothing we can do. Or maybe… maybe people make a difference. I don’t know. Do you think human beings matter, Rome?”
The conflict danced across Roman’s eyes clear as day. It disappeared quickly once he crossed his arms and said, “I’m just gonna say it now—I’m a spy and I’m gonna go back and tell him everything. I’m with Dad, so… fuck you.”
Kendall frowned. “Fine. Fine. I actually don’t give a fuck. I can perfectly well do this alone. I’m actually just trying to be open-hearted and invite you in here. I mean, it’d actually probably be simpler to go alone, but I want to offer you guys a fucking ticket to the escape pod.”
“Nice fucking guy, huh?” Rome chortled.
Finally, the ball dropped. “You’re happy he went over your head and put in Gerri?” 
Roman’s expression fell. You knew he’d wanted the job. “I think Gerri is a good choice.” Shiv laughed, and Roman defensively spat out, “What?”
“Defend Dad all you want, but Gerri can look after herself.”
“Yeah, I know that, I’m not defending Gerri, I just—”
Shiv sat up straighter. “You can’t hide under the covers with Mommy.”
Roman shifted back a step. “Oh, fuck off, Siobhan.”
“No, no, let’s talk about it. You always need someone to hold your fucking hand. You use Gerri as protection, and then you run off to Y/N every time something just barely inconveniences you. You just love showing your pee-pee to everyone but someday, you know, you’re actually gonna have to fuck something.”
His nose twitched. “Fuck you. Bitch.” With that, he made his way to the door and stormed out of the room.
You and Connor both called after him, but he was already gone. 
“Okay… that was… that was low, Shiv,” said Con, frowning. 
“That was an overreaction!” she exclaimed.
Huffing, Connor shook his head. “Can we just try to keep things nice? Yeah?” He patted your shoulder again. “I’ll go check on him.” 
“It’s not my fault he’s got a sex thing,” Shiv laughed. “Was I too harsh?”
“You kidding? He loves it. He’s probably out there jerking off, wearing my ex-wife’s panties.”
You buried your face in your hands, pulling exasperatedly. “You guys are fucking assholes. You’re fucking two-faced, Shiv, and Kendall, you’re just… you’re just using us. Fuck. “Media appearance”? Give me a fucking break.”
With that, you stood up from the bed and made your way out of the room. Worry scratched away at your chest for Roman. You stepped into the living room, expecting to see him lingering around there, but you heard Connor’s voice echoing down the hall. He was standing in front of the closed bathroom door, a hand on the gilded doorknob, the other rapping against the wood lightly.
“Rome?” he asked. “You okay?” 
“Go away,” his muffled voice replied from the other side.
You stepped forward, right next to Connor. “Hey, Romeo?”
There was a pause. Then the door swung open.
“Hi,” you said, mustering up a tired grin. 
“Hi,” he said. Roman tried his best to mirror your smile, but failed miserably.
“You okay, Rome?” Connor asked again.
He shrugged, scratching at the back of his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed to piss. Am I not allowed to do that?”
Finally, you ambled another step forward and enveloped Roman into a tight hug. “What Shiv said isn’t true, you know. I’m the one that ran to you this time.”
Roman mumbled something into your shoulder, but you didn’t quite catch it. Maybe it was an off-handed thanks. At least, that’s what you hoped he said.
Connor smiled at the two of you with a huff, clapping a hand on each of your shoulders. “Maybe it’s time to head back. I don’t think we’re done discussing things. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
With that, you let go of Roman and nudged him back in the direction of Sophie’s bedroom. 
As soon as he made his way back in, Shiv met his gaze with a half-beam, half-grimace etched across her features. “Sorry,” she said. She didn’t really sound all that sorry.
“For what? I went to the bathroom,” Roman dismissively replied. “I don’t give a shit. You whore.”
Shiv smiled, and he grinned back. Haughtily, he snatched up your hand and crowded you into sitting down on the loveseat with him. He swung a leg up to throw over your thighs and you traced aimless circles along his shin. 
“Here’s how I see this,” Kendall started up, “Dad is complicated. But he did, or he let, bad stuff happen. Yeah? And now it’s a part of us and our sickness, and we have to take responsibility because we knew. This is our chance to pay our dues and wash our hands for absolution.
You narrowed your eyes. Knew? 
Thinking along the same lines as you, Shiv snorted out a derisive sound. “Okay, well… I didn’t know.”
“Sure, whatever, but—yeah, you did,” Kendall said. 
“No, obviously we didn’t know,” Shiv exclaimed. “Did you guys know?”
“No,” you were quick to say. “What kind of question is that?”
Roman leaned further back into the seat. “No, we didn’t know.”
Incredulous, Kendall rounded his gaze onto the two of you. “The fucking pipeline of sad dancers who got used and abused and promised some Hollywood bullshit? We all fucking knew.” 
Brows cinching together, Roman acquiesced by saying, “Yeah, well, I kinda knew about… you know, that there was some—but I didn’t know about any of the actual fucking… the fucking shit that went down. I really didn’t.”
“Come on, guys,” Connor said. “We knew.”
“Maybe you guys did,” you protested. “But I didn’t fucking know. I was a kid! We were kids!”
“But we still fucking knew! Okay? And I—I don’t like all this fucking bullshit!” Kendall propped his hands on his hips, staring down at his siblings.
“What did we fucking know?” Roman asked. 
“Yeah!” 
Leaning closer to his sister, Connor said, “Listen, I’m obviously not saying that you guys are responsible. But, come on. The guys, Dad, Mo—the wolf pack.”
“We knew,” Kendall parroted. “All those jokes and the weird vibes to the women and to the grubby fat-asses who took the cruises. The blind eyes and the pay-offs and the hush-hush about Dad’s pals or foreign workers who got crushed like—like meat in a fucking grinder with zero training! And, you know, no, it wasn’t our fault. And if you want to pretend that your shit doesn’t stink, be my guest, but we fucking knew.”
Solemn, Connor nodded. “We knew what those guys in Dad’s study were laughing about.”
Hotly, you said, “How many times do I have to say it? I didn’t know that the dancers were being sexually harassed! That—that fucking workers were being grilled under terrible work conditions! And I sure as hell didn’t know anything about these million-dollar pay-offs you love to parade around without actually showing us.”
Shiv drew in a breath. “We didn’t know what they were laughing about.”
“Don’t get in the pool with Mo?” Connor asked. “Remember that?”
“Well, yeah, that just sounds like fucking common sense,” you replied. “It was all so… grey. There were so many rumors. I just—I didn’t know if what Mo did actually happened or just a part of a huge fucking joke.”
“Yeah. And I didn’t get in the pool with any of those creeps,” said Shiv.
Kendall nodded, “Yeah, because he let those creeps run cruises.”
“No, Kendall, because I was fifteen!” Shiv finally asserted. “Y/N said it before—we were kids! Y/N was barely fourteen! We were hardly ever around them, and when we were, they were talking about shit we didn’t understand, and we didn’t want to understand. Because we were teenagers, and they were creepy old men that constantly told us about how mature we were for our age. Obviously we didn’t know what they were talking about, because we didn’t even want to know.”
Waving his sister’s words away, Kendall stressed, “Well, you know now, right?”
“Of course I fucking know now, that’s why we’re here in the first place!” Shiv yelled.
A beat of silence. 
Kendall’s shoulders squared. “This is all a sidebar. Okay? All I’m asking is for us to move forward from a position of truth.” 
“Are we excluded from this kingdom of heaven unless we accept the one true truth?” Shiv asked.
His phone dinged with a text message, and Kendall reached down to pull it out of his pocket. His kids were here.
“Look, I just wanna go hug my kids. Okay? I’ll be right back.” He started back out, making his way to the door. “We don’t even need to get into this. This is just sideshit.”
Once he was gone, Roman’s hand rested against the side of your face, gently pulling your head down to rest against his shoulder.
“We were kids,” you mumbled tiredly. Blurry memories of leering, smoking men and jaunty laughter crossed your mind. “How could I have known?”
Roman hummed, but he said nothing more.
“So… where are we at?” Shiv asked. Her question seemed to be directed at anyone in particular, but her eyes were on you.
“I don’t know. I don’t trust him. He clearly doesn’t trust us,” you said, pursing your lips.
Roman nodded. “We’re just hearing him out—then we report. It’s simple, Siobhan.”
“Right. Yeah. We gotta protect Dad… because if we knifed him now, he’d just bleed out, so…”
Roman reared his head back. “Hm. I don’t know about that.”
“Well, it’s just true. It’s a statement of fact.”
“Is it, though?” Roman wrinkled his nose. “It’s not necessarily true. This is Dad. He’s like fucking—fucking Moby Dick. He could take us all down with his back riddled with harpoons.”
Scoffing, Shiv arched a brow. “Yeah? You think he can take on all of us? If we back Ken, he’s toast. I’m not saying we should do it—we just need to decide what the fuck we’re gonna do because this is our moment.”
Finally, Roman’s features softened. He gave you a nudge. “What do you think?”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “If all of us back Kendall, that’d spook Karl and Frank onto our side. Gerri, maybe. The board… they’ll be split at first, but I think most of them would be swayed with enough convincing. I don’t know. It’s hard to gauge.”
“It’s very hard to imagine him surviving if we allied,” Connor agreed.
“Yeah. Sure, it’s his board, but it’s a lot of fresh blood. A lot of fear. I think if we pulled a pin today, and tomorrow, we got a spooked board. We could win.”
Tilting your head, you asked her, “I’m confused, do you or do you not want to back Kendall?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“On you guys!”
Roman shook his head. “My only concern with stabbing Dad in the back—it might actually kill him.”
You thought back to how scared and worried the two of you were when Logan was in the hospital. Certainly not something you wanted to relive.
It was then that the door opened once again, and Kendall stepped in. “So—where are we?”
“Okay. Let’s say you win, and take Dad out. I don’t see us coming through in the proxy battle. Shareholders don’t like confusion—they’ll pull out the moment they realize the condom ripped. How does the family stay in control?” Shiv asked.
“We give Dad the revolver, show him to the office, proxy battle is over,” Kendall stated matter-of-factly. “Sandy and Stewy will back down. I’ve spoken with them.”
“Busy fucking bee,” Roman snorted.
Bobbing his head, Kendall said, “If Dad went fast enough, we’d have a settlement. Look, guys, I don’t know what I think about Dad. Uh… I love him, I hate him—I’ll outsource it to my therapist. But he was going to send me to jail, you know. He’d do the same to you, Rome. Con. Shiv, I don’t know. Maybe. Don’t you guys see that? Y/N—he’ll… he’ll fucking throw you to the sharks if he needed to. I mean, how many years have you been scurrying around doing all of the yardwork for him?”
You met Kendall’s intense gaze, but you remained silent.
It was Roman who spoke instead: “Well, what would the shape of this new fucking reality be, anyway? Us leapfrogging Amazon?”
“Oh, yeah. We’re looking at 323 BC, naturally. Alexander’s dead. I take Asia, Rome takes Egypt, Shiv takes Europe, Y/N has the Americas, North and South. Con—the rest of the world.”
Connor smiled. “Thanks.”
“Separate divisions. I could oversee us as CEO on paper as we shift to these spheres of influence and evaluate what the core is. We move forward—”
A migraine began to pulse in Roman’s temple and he rubbed his head gingerly. “You’re overseeing us?”
A second of silence. “I’d offer my leadership initially as a—as a necessary part of a transformation process, yes.”
“You’d do that for us?” Roman mocked in a baby-voice. “Oh, you’re so generous! Thanks, Ken!”
“No! In your position, it just doesn’t work,” Shiv protested.
“It’s a stretch,” winced Connor in agreement.
“Stretch?” Roman scoffed. “It’s a fucking scrotum over a timpani drum!”
Shiv straightened her posture. “If I were to back you against Dad, I would need to take over.”
Both you and Rome made noises of surprise.
“What? Woah!” Roman chuckled and you drew in a cold inhale through your teeth.
“Shiv, I’m sorry, there’s absolutely no way you’d be able to steer us out of this mess—” you began.
“What? And you could?”
“Yes!” you exclaimed, thinking back to the phone call you had with Logan in the hotel. “But I’m not going to. I don’t want the fucking top job. I’m looking at this from a neutral perspective, okay? You wouldn’t work.”
Kendall nodded vehemently. “You don’t have the experience, Shiv. It wouldn’t be possible. I wish it was, but it isn’t.”
“Come on, you’re a busted flush! I’m the only person who can reform!”
“You’re too divisive,” Kendall said. Shiv’s lips parted in offense. “I mean, I don’t see you this way, but people see you as the token woman, wonk, woke, snowflake. I don’t think that, but the market does.”
“Jesus Christ,” you mumbled, pinching the space between your brows.
“What? That’s bullshit!” she bit out, volume raising a notch.
Snickering beneath his breath, Roman said, “It’s true, I just spoke to the market. That’s exactly what they think.”
“Guys, listen. We’d get new directors, and a clean broom. And then we can figure out how to split the spoils.”
Shiv pursed her lips. “I have some calls to make,” she finally said, getting up from the bed. “But this stays in here, yeah?”
“Absolutely,” Roman said.
“Yeah,” both you and Connor mumbled.
With that, she left the room.
Roman slipped away from you, saying something about taking his own call. You watched him go curiously, though you were already pretty certain he was going to call Gerri for her opinion, seeing as she was CEO now. With a nod to Kendall and Connor, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom.
You strode down the hall and shut the door behind you. The mirror above the sink’s reflection stared back at you, nearly unrecognizable. You looked so tired. Clothes wrinkled, hair disheveled, eyebags dark. All you wanted to do was go home and crawl into your own bed.
You sniffed, though you weren’t crying. You wanted to cry, though. A cry-session sounded really nice right about now. You blinked once, then twice. No tears, still.
Dejected, you went about your business, before rinsing your hands clean and stepping out to the rest of the siblings gathered in the living room now, all standing around a white box of donuts.
“Someone ordered dessert?” you asked with a mild laugh, quirking a brow at Roman. 
“Wasn’t me,” he said, jerking his head to Connor, who had a card in his hand.
“Dad sent donuts. Perfectly innocent, safe-to-eat donuts,” the oldest of the group announced. He lifted up the card. “He wants us all to have a nice tea party.”
Shiv glanced around shiftily. “What the fuck? Ken—did you tell him?”
“Shiv, come on,” he replied. “Why would I tell him?”
“To make him distrust us and force us to back you?” you offered, peering over at the donuts. Connor reached over to take out a glazed chocolate one from the center.
“I wouldn’t eat that,” Shiv told his brother. 
Incredulous, Connor said, “You really think he’d send poisoned donuts to the house of his grandchildren?”
“Yeah, I’m, like, ninety-eight percent sure those aren’t poisoned,” Roman chimed. 
Kendall shook his head. “Okay, guys. These aren’t relevant—”
“Oh, no. No, no, no, these are really relevant donuts,” Roman protested.
Ignoring him, Kendall held up his phone. “Do we wanna? Guys—are we in? I’ll make the call right now. We can say it tonight. It’ll be over. New dawn.”
A terse silence settled over the rest of you.
“Con, stop staring at the fucking donuts, man. Focus!”
With that, the eldest sibling dropped the card on top of the donuts. “I’m out,” he said.
Kendall’s eye seemed to twitch. “Alright, then. You’re irrelevant, anyway.”
“Hey, fuck you.”
“Go on. Leave. You’re not wanted. You’re not wanted, Connor! Leave!”
“Don’t be fucking mean, Kendall,” you snapped. 
Roman shook his head. “Yeah, as if he hasn’t heard that enough already.”
“I just don’t wanna destroy Dad. I’m a national figure. It’s not right to kill one’s father.”
“Yeah, you’re a prick!”
You shot Connor an apologetic glance, but he simply shook his head, gathered his jacket, and took his leave.
Kendall then rounded on his younger brother. “Roman. Come on, man. Let’s do this.”
“Uhm… pass.”
“Pass? Why?”
Roman pulled a sour face, as if he’d just licked a lemon. “A number of reasons, really.”
“Like what? You think I can’t win? Dude—we can win this together. We’ll fucking win! There’s enough for us all, Rome.”
“I told you. I’m with Dad. I always have been.”
Shaking his head, Kendall spat out, “You’re a fucking moron.”
“Don’t call him that!” You bristled. He sounded just like his father. 
Kendall looked to his sister. “Forget them, Shiv.”
“I’m with Dad,” she said, plainly. Roman laughed, and Kendall’s expression fell.
“Why?” he asked.
She crossed her arms and shrugged. “Why? I don’t need to tell you.”
“Yes, you fucking do! Is it the goddamn donuts? Have you been spooked by fucking donuts? That’s pathetic, Shiv! Why? You owe me an explanation!”
Shiv tossed her head back and laughed at the irony. “Oh, yeah! Because you’ve always been so careful to keep me informed.”
“What is it? You don’t believe me?” he asked. “Obviously, you believe me! So you’re literally doing the wrong thing over the right thing here?”
Her eyes were intense on her brother. Exhaling lowly, Shiv said, “I can see that you’re angry, but don’t project your disappointment onto me. I should go.”
“Is it cowardice or avarice? I just wanna know,” Kendall called out. “Is it because you won’t take over? Is that it? Good luck with sleeping on that, Shiv.”
“Fuck you, plastic Jesus.”
“You’re a fucking twat.”
“I was the one you wanted. Rome and Connor don’t even matter to you,” she said.
“Yeah, because you’re the fucking token girl! Girls count double now, didn’t you know?”
“No, I know.” There was a crack in her voice. “I fucking know.”
“It’s only your teats that give you any value! You’re calling it wrong, Shiv. You’re fucking over the victims. I hope you know that! Well done, you dipshit!”
She shot you and Roman narrowed glances, before sauntering out of Rava’s apartment.
Finally, Kendall turned to you. His last hope. He stepped closer to you, until he was just in front of you. “Y/N, just listen. You—we could make this work. You’d be the fucking—the fucking glue. The brains. You’re good at this. You know people, you have connections. It could work. You don’t need them.”
“I don’t trust you,” you whispered. 
And there it was. There were the tears. Stinging the corner of your eyes and just barely blurring your vision. Only this time, you didn’t want to cry. Not in front of Kendall. 
Kendall took your hands loosely, and you couldn’t find it in you to pull away just yet. Roman watched on with part caution, part disgust. 
“Remember—remember when we were kids and I told you that I would be leading the company one day? That you could be there with me? Remember that? And you made me swear to give you all the fucking strawberry popsicles you wanted. You could have it all, Y/N. It’s so fucking close.”
You remembered. Of course you did. “I don’t know, Kendall. I don’t remember.” Swallowing, you pulled your hands away from his. “You’ll just use me, Kendall. You’ll just use me and then toss me to the side.”
“That’s what Dad is doing to you right now. I’m not like him. I won’t do that.”
Your expression hardened and you wiped away the tears. “I can’t back you.”
For a moment, you wondered if Kendall was going to scream.
“Fine,” he said, eerily quiet. “You’re an asshole. Both of you.”
Roman took your hand and began to tug you to the elevator.
“You’re all pricks. Fucking idiots. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing!”
He kept calling you and his siblings a variety of colorful insults, but they all blurred into white noise when Roman hurried you into the elevator, his arm wound around your waist.
“Home?” you asked. You were so, very tired.
He nodded. “Home.”
“Will you stay over?”
He kissed your head, chaste and barely there. “Yeah. Sure.”
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The company’s annual shareholding meeting started early in the morning. It’d been a few weeks since the eventful night at Rava’s place, and you’d been swamped with work ever since then. Shiv had been promoted to President of Domestic Operations—which was just a fancy title that meant little to nothing—and shortly after, the FBI had raided the company building.
Yeah. All sunshine and rainbows at Waystar right about now.
A vote would completely be slanted away from the Roys, and that only left them with the option of negotiation with Stewy and Sandi.
“We’re gonna lose the company,” said Shiv, hands propped on her hips. “We’re going to lose the fucking company today.”
The rest of you were sitting around on the couches, waiting for Logan to arrive. He was late, as he often was nowadays.
Roman tugged at the lapels of your dark blue pantsuit, wrangling your attention back to him. He offered you a wry smile. “Say, if I lose my job here, do you think I could find work behind a cash register at Target?”
“Haven’t you heard? All those jobs are being taken up by broke college students with at least two bachelor's degrees under their belt,” you dryly replied. He barked out something akin to a laugh. Since he was straightening out your suit for you, you reached out to fix his loosely-knotted tie. Once you were done, you patted his cheek fondly and pulled your hands away. 
It was then that Logan came ambling through the entrance, clutching a dark cane in one hand and Kerry right behind him. 
“There he is. The big beast,” Roman said. “Ready to kick ass with his ass-kicking boot.”
“You heard?” Shiv queried him, without bothering to even say hello. “You know where we’re at?”
Logan stared at his daughter for a good few seconds. “Uh-huh,” he finally said, stoutly. Then, he looked to senior management. “Karl? Gerri?”
The man shrugged. “Uh… I guess we have to delay the vote. Squeeze Sandy and Stewy’s airtime. Run the long versions of the speeches. ”
Gerri spoke up, “I emailed a list of assigned shareholders for last minute persuasion.”
“Good, good. Yes,” Logan said. He sounded winded.
Brows furrowing, Shiv incredulously asked, “That’s it? There’s nothing else we can do?” There was an anxious lilt to her voice.
“What about the Raisin?” Logan asked. The president.
Shiv, Tom, and Cyd scrambled to answer for him, and he barked out a few more orders, before taking a seat.
Gerri’s phone began to ring, and her eyes widened when she checked the caller ID. “It’s Stewy Hosseini,” she said. “Should I take it?”
Wordless, Logan nodded once. 
The call was short, but brief. Gerri’s eyes were narrowed and calculating when she hung up.
“They want to meet up,” she announced. “They have thoughts.”
Head tilting, Roman asked, “Thoughts? What kind of thoughts?”
“Ideas for a deal space around a settlement,” Gerri told the group.
“Fucking A! That’s great!” exclaimed Roman, before he was cut off by his father.
“Why have they suddenly decided to settle?” he asked, voice low.
Shiv replied, “Well, because they know it’s the smartest move?”
“Or they’ve had bad news,” Logan said. “What do they know that we don’t?”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “Well—we’d find out when we speak to them.”
Logan shook his head. “No. I’m not doing a tap dance. Shiv, Karl, Gerri, Y/N, Romulus—go and report back.”
Lifting a hand, Frank offered, “I think that’s smart. Yeah. But, uhm, Gerri should be out front helming, so should I go?”
“We nail you to the cross, Frank, alright?” Logan dismissed. “Let Sandy do the soft shoe. He’s wriggling. Let’s screw them out.”
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The hotel you were meeting them at was lavish and over-the-top—you expected nothing less from Sandy and Stewy. 
Inside the elevator up, Roman queried, “Does Sandy really have syphilis? What if he has sores all over his body? What if his groin’s all eaten away and the top half of him just falls off?”
“That’s disgusting, Rome,” you said, wrinkling your nose.
He stuck his tongue out at you. “You’re disgusting, fuck-face,” he shot back, childishly.
Gerri hummed. “I think we started that syphilis rumor.”
Raising a brow, you exchanged a look with Roman, neither of you all that surprised. Gerri was a cutthroat, cold-stoned bitch (in Roman’s words), and she’s definitely done worse than starting up a few nasty rumors.
“Late stage symptom is dementia, I believe,” said Karl, tucking his phone away into his back pocket.
Roman laughed. “You been doing some late night, panicky googling, Karl?”
With that, the elevator doors slid open, and the group filed out down the hall. A hotel employee showed you into one of the larger suites, where Sandy, Sandi, and Stewy were situated amongst plush seats. 
“Hey,” Sandi greeted with a cautious smile. “Thanks for coming. My father is very excited to see you all.”
You glanced at her father, who was slumped over on a wheelchair and silent. It seemed his condition had worsened much more than you expected. You took a seat beside Gerri, and Shiv stiffly eased down next to you. Roman lingered behind, far too restless to sit.
“Look,” said Stewy, pulling your attention away from the older man to him, “after careful consideration, if we can make a deal here, we’re willing to agree to a standstill. No takeover. Provided we lead on deal-making options moving forward, we’ll accede to a continuation of combined Chairman and CEO roles, so that’d be all yours.”
“I think that sounds reasonable,” said Gerri. 
“And the three board seats?” Stewy asked. His eyes darted from the siblings, to you, to Gerri and Karl.
Nodding, Shiv said, “Including yours? We can do that right now—I have my dad’s authorization to go there.”
“Would you be willing to sign off on this?” you asked. Stewy’s gaze met yours, mildly amused. “We’d like something physical to hold onto.”
Sandi then leaned forward when her father began to mumble under his breath, too quiet for you to decipher from where you were sitting. 
“He wants our costs covered,” Sandi finally said. That was reasonable. Then, she added, “And… veto right over any Roy family member ever taking over as CEO.”
Your brows furrowed. Gerri seemed just as taken aback by this condition as you were. 
“Stewy?” she asked, hoping he’d give some sort of clarification.
“That’s what the man said,” Stewy replied languidly. “It’s a very important protection for us.”
Wincing, Roman scratched at the back of his head. “I feel like I just have to put it out there and say it, since there’s a eighty-five billion dollar baby on the table here… how do I know he’s not your… meat puppet?”
The term made you think of Kendall before he’d waged war on his own father. 
Sandi smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I just do what my dad tells me, like you guys.”
“You mind if we take a beat?” Gerri asked, standing up. You stood with her, following her to the next room. Stewy said something snarky, but you consciously chose not to listen.
Karl ducked his head and whispered, “Well, I mean, other than the new proposal, it’s a very, very attractive prospect.”
Shiv frowned and incredulously bit out, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to discuss. It fucks us and it’s designed to humiliate dad!”
“It’s all just optics,” Gerri defended. “I’m not sure it’d even stand up.”
“You could probably work around it if it ever came to it!” Karl piped in.
“Uhm, with all due respect, Gerri—get bent,” said Roman. 
Shaking her head, she reasoned, “I know it’s humiliating, and I’m sure your dad would agree, but given where we’re at, I have to check in with him. Sorry, excuse me.”
With that, she stepped away to call Logan.
“Is she gonna fuck us?” Shiv asked. 
Roman pulled a face. “No. I don’t know.”
“Logan’s not going to say yes,” you murmured. “He wouldn’t allow it. It’s pride over everything, no?”
Shiv shot you a sharp look, but she didn’t say anything. From farther away, Gerri hung up the phone and made her way back to Stewy.
“We will meet your costs, but… no veto,” she told them. Of course—Logan wouldn’t refuse to be the first to bend the knee.
Sandy began murmuring again, and Sandi leaned in to listen. 
“We need the veto,” she said once she backed away.
“Is there no alternative shape here?” Gerri queried, shaking her head.
Growing frustrated, Shiv said, “Come on, Sandi. We all want this to work.”
With one final lean-in, Sandi nodded her head at her father’s mumbled words.
“We’re gonna go have a think. But, uhm… it’d be a shame if all this hard work is destroyed over a small detail,” she finally concluded. “Thanks for coming to see us.”
You blew out a breath and scratched at the back of your head—a habit that you seemed to pick up from Roman.
The two of you began walking out, and Gerri caught up, just a step behind. “Sorry, about back there—”
“About what? Trying to fuck me over to consolidate your position?” 
“No. It just seemed to make sense. Business-wise.”
Roman shot her a glance over his shoulder. “Throwing me overboard to drown? You picked your prince, Gerri, don’t fuck it up now.” He began to walk faster, and you gave her an apologetic shrug. 
“We got this in the bag, Gerri. Don��t—don’t worry about Roman.” 
She patted your shoulder with a reassured smile. “I can count on you to keep him in line, right?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
With one final nod, you jogged ahead to catch up with Roman, linking your arm with his. 
“Hey, stompy,” you greeted, bumping your hip into his. “Stop pouting. Gerri was just trying to broker a deal. It’s not her fault they suddenly wanted a veto right.”
“I know. I’m just fucking—worried that I’m making the wrong choices all the time.”
“Yeah. But you’re doing okay. We’ll be fine. Everything’s going to blow over in a few months, just watch.”
The corner of Roman’s lips tilted into a lopsided smile, and hummed out that hyena-laugh of his. “You are so fucking fake. Y’know what the fucking Gen-Z’ers are calling it now? Toxic positivity. That’s what you are. A barrel of toxic, radioactive, neon-yellow smiley emojis. I love it. Never change.”
He kissed your cheek then, sounding out an obnoxious ‘mwah!’ before tugging you into the elevator.
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By the time you rejoined Logan, Karolina, and Tom (hell, even Greg was there), Gerri’s phone began to ring again.
“It’s Sandi.”
“Which one?” Connor asked.
“The one that can talk,” Gerri deadpanned. She gave Logan a confirming glance, before answering it. Her expression rippled with incredulity and apprehension. “Uh… are you sure about that? Alright, but—seriously?”
With one final sigh, she hung up the call.
“They have one more proviso,” she told the group. “They want to take away the private jets.”
“What? No!” Roman protested.
“They said it’s elitist and out of touch.”
A frown crossed his face. “Duh-doy, but—no. They’re just trying to humiliate him.” He gestured to his father, who was slumped in a chair, eyes staring aimlessly at the ground.
“Was it real or were they just basting the turkey?” asked Karl.
“I don’t think Sandy’s the kind to be pulling a prank on us, Karl,” you said, pinching the space between your brows. “It’s gotta be real.”
Gesturing emphatically, Shiv said, “Let’s just eat it, Dad. You can tell them to fuck off later.”
“Yeah, we can just offer to cut personal use, or put on a mileage cap,” offered Karl.
“No!” Roman protested once more. “We give them this—first they come for the PJs and we say nothing, then they come for the outsized compensation payments, you know? This is—no. This is bullshit. They’ll back down, they won’t blow it over this. Right?”
He looked at you, and you lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. They’re fishing for something here, but we still have to take them seriously.”
“Dad?” Roman asked.
The older man was silent for a long time.
“Hm.” He paused, glancing around. His eyes were glazed over. “I need to piss.”
“Oh,” said Shiv, uncertain. “Do you… do you need some help, or should I reach out and call—?”
Logan ignored her, and pointed at Tom. “You.” He loosely gestured at the rest of you. “Stay.”
“You want to make a decision now, before you go? Dad?” Shiv called out after him, but he was already walking away.
“Is he—is he okay?” you whispered into Roman’s ear. “He doesn’t look too good.”
Roman pulled a sour face. “He’s fine. He looks fine. Why, you think something’s wrong with him?”
“Well, I don’t know, he’s just acting so weird. This is—this is a big fucking deal and he’s been shrugging it off like it’s chopped liver.” At Roman’s worried look, you gripped his arm and squeezed comfortingly. “I mean, I don’t know, though. Maybe he’s okay.”
Nearly fifteen minutes later, you were about to eat your own words. 
Logan was most certainly not okay. When he came back, he was out of breath, and his eyes were unfocused.
“What’s it gonna be, Logan?” Gerri asked. “We need an answer.”
“Uh-huh.”
“What do you think? Yes or no?”
A staggered exhale and a wild look around. “Fuck ‘em,” he finally spat out.
Shock spilled over the group. Shiv made noises of protest.
“Fuck ‘em!” he repeated, gruffer this time.
“I—are you sure, Dad? That’s… you sure you wanna do this?” Shiv asked.
His breathing was getting heavier and heavier. It was clear to you that business was the last thing Logan should be thinking about right now. You stepped forward, concern splayed over your features.
“Uncle Logan, are you okay?” you asked, under your breath. He didn’t give you an answer, but you took his arm to slowly lead him to a seat. It didn’t go past your notice that he was sweltering hot and trembling quite a bit—you could feel the heat and the quaking through the fabric of his suit. 
Despite the fact that he was in no state of mind to be negotiating, Gerri and Shiv pushed him. “Do you know something, or…? That’s a big call you’re making.”
“Pills!” Logan hissed to Colin, who came forward immediately.
“I just gave you some, sir. You need something else? Tylenol?”
Logan nodded, mumbling incoherently beneath his breath.
The rest of the group discussed what the next steps were, and a part of you wanted to join and offer your input, but you stayed by Logan’s side. 
When Colin returned with the Tylenol, you furrowed your brows and told him, “He’s, uhm, he’s really hot. Like—feels like he’s burning up. Can we—do we need to go get him a medic, or…?”
“I’m fine,” he said, waving away your words. But then he smiled at you, and that was the most surprising thing of all. “Thank you, dear.”
“Okay. Just let me know if you need anything.”
“What’s going on with the Raisin?” he asked.
Gerri, overhearing, stepped closer with cinched brows. “I’m sorry, with—with the President?”
“Can we get Ravenhead on air?” Logan queried. “Call Michelle-Anne. Tell her to get the SEC to shut this meeting down.”
It was clear that Logan was spouting out utter nonsense, and you exchanged several confused looks with the rest of the group. 
“Okay… we’ll look into that,” said Karl.
“I need a piss,” Logan announced once more. Hadn’t he gone just a few minutes ago? “Where is he?” 
Tom pointed at himself. “Who, me? Again? Yeah? Sure—okay.”
Greg, who had just returned from sending off a note to Frank on stage, came bounding back to the group, sweat and hair slightly disheveled. “You guys going off to the bathroom?” he asked Logan and Tom.
Logan stared at his grand-nephew incredulously. “What fucking business is it of yours?”
You and Roman glanced at each other. “Jesus. You were right. He’s off his rocker,” Roman whispered. 
A few minutes later, Logan staggered back with Tom helping him, and Shiv came forward to ask if he was alright. To everybody’s surprise, Logan called his daughter Marcia, and then started rambling on about a speech he was meant to give.
Tom came up to the rest of the group. “Hey, uh, hey everybody—Logan’s not really himself right now.”
Shiv rushed back after phoning Kerry. “He’s got a fucking UTI.”
“That explains it,” you said, glancing back at Logan, still murmuring something to a nodding Colin. 
“Well, is that—I mean, no, it isn’t. It’s not that fucking serious, is it?” Roman asked. He was worried, you could see it clear as day. 
“At his age? That can make you crazy!” said Connor. “Reagan had one and nearly nuked Belgium.”
“What?” Shiv asked, incredulous. “How long has he been like this? What the fuck?”
Brows furrowing, Gerri chimed in, “Was he like this when he risked the whole company?”
“Nobody hears about this,” Shiv warned, voice steely. “What do we do?”
“Get a doctor,” you said, as if it were obvious. 
“Can’t we just get him some cranberry juice and ask him about the deal again?” Roman asked.
Tom shook his head. “He was just asking for Caroline.” 
“Oh,” said Roman, mock-pouting. “Aw. He misses mom.”
“He’s gone mad,” Shiv blew out. 
“Well, we don’t actually know when he got this way. We don’t!” Roman said. 
“No, no, I think he’s been piss-mad for quite some time,” Tom interjected, glancing back at Logan. “Shiv, do you think—should you overrule him? Go back to Sandy and Stewy and say we’ve changed our minds?”
You sucked in a deep breath. “Logan’ll be furious.”
“How can he be furious when he can’t even tell me apart from his wife?” Shiv shot back. 
Haughtily, you told her, “I’m saying when he’s gotten through it, he’ll be angry that you went over his back—!”
Before you could finish, Hugo came running up. “Guys—he insists that he still has to give his speech.” He hurried off when Logan called his name. Or, a garbled version of it.
“Can he give his speech?” Karolina asked. 
“What? The demented fucking piss-mad King of England?” Roman responded with a scoff. 
“He could say anything up there. No fucking way,” Shiv asserted. “I say we drop it. Right?”
“But at the very least, he should be onstage,” persisted Gerri.
Karl nodded along. “It would be great to get the body up there.”
“Right. Like a human fucking spectacle,” you said, cocking your head. “You don’t think people would find it weird that he’s up there and not saying anything?”
“Okay, we’ll just push it as late as we can, and maybe if we can just get him on stage, that’d be enough?” Shiv proposed.
Connor laughed. “Oh, yeah, maybe send him up through a trapdoor surrounded by dry ice.”
“Where is this doctor, anyway?” Gerri asked.
With no time for anyone to reply, Hugo hustled back to the group, expression twisted with uncertainty. “Uhm… he’s concerned there is a dead cat under his chair.”
Everybody blinked, clueless. 
“Great,” said Shiv. “That’s great.”
“Well, is there anything under his chair?” Gerri whispered, ducking her head to check herself. 
You stared at your godfather from afar, watching as he vehemently gestured down below his seat. 
“He says that, uh, he doesn’t want Rose to see it,” said Hugo. “And he wants Colin to take it out.”
Rose. The name sounded familiar, something you’ve surely heard in passing, but you couldn’t quite place who she was.
Clearly, Roman was beginning to grow more and more agitated, and he gritted out, “Fine. Have Colin take it out. Jesus Christ.”
Finally, Kerry arrived, hurrying to grab her bag, mumbling something about doctors and pills and secrecy. As if to make it even worse, Kendall appeared out of nowhere, and Shiv let out a long and loud string of curses.
“Great—hey, who invited you?” Roman sneered at his older brother.
Kendall ignored him. “What the fuck is going on? He’s squashing the fucking deal?”
“It’s fine! It’s fucking fine—we got it under control,” Roman vehemently pressed, though it didn’t sound too convincing with Logan in the back yelling for the cat to be carried away. The cat that didn’t, in fact, exist.
“You have to turn this around right now!” Kendall yelled. 
“We’re figuring it out,” Shiv told him.
Logan screeched again and grumbled incoherently, shifting on his chair.
“What—what the fuck is going on with him?” asked Kendall.
“The doctor’s coming, Ken,” you tried to reassure him, but he shook his head.
“No, no, I want to know what’s wrong with him!”
Colin hurried away with an empty box—supposedly holding the dead cat. A part of you wondered if this dead cat was a distant memory from Logan’s past. Maybe he was trapped in a fragment of time he could never quite move on from.
“What is that?” Kendall took a few steps to follow after Colin, but halted to look back at his siblings in utter confusion. “Guys, what—?”
“Can you just leave, please?” Roman hissed. “That is an imaginary cat, now can you please fuck off?”
Raising his voice, Kendall addressed the entire group, voice stricken and strained, “Listen to me very carefully. This is you throwing it away. You think they’re bluffing? They’re not fucking bluffing! And you’re putting everything I have fought and bled for on the fucking edge and I am not gonna let that happen! Do you understand me?”
“You’re not welcome here,” Shiv said, cold. “You have no right to be here.”
“Fucking fix it!” he yelled. Kendall sounded like his father.
“You may go! You’re excused!” Roman told him. “Thank you very much for your concern, please go.”
You and Connor stayed silent, watching the other three scream at each other.
“Go! You’re fucking delusional!” shouted Roman. “There’s a fucking delusional man leaving here!”
Kendall began to walk away, but not without screaming back, “Figure out a fucking doctor or I’m calling mine!”
“Thank you so much for your concern, like you give a flying shit!” Roman spat back. “You probably slipped him something, Putin! You piece of shit! Fuck off!” 
It was a game of tug-of-war, and both sides were backing into a cliff’s edge.
Roman was taking out his frustrations and his fear onto his brother, and you stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest.
“Hey, Rome, that’s enough. He’s—he’s leaving, okay? Bye, Kendall.” You brushed a stray strand of his hair away from his forehead. “It’s fine. You need to… you need to take a beat.”
Roman pulled a pained expression, his features crumpling under the weight of stress. He nodded several times, before crossing his arms and walking off to get himself a swig of water. 
When the doctor finally arrived, you pointed him towards Logan, quickly explaining what he’s been like for the past half an hour. He nodded and got to work, pulling out a few medical instruments to check up on Logan.
“So—how is he?” Shiv asked the doctor.
“I’ll put him on some fluids to hydrate him—it should be pretty quick.”
“Will he definitely be okay?” Roman asked
The doctor didn’t have the chance to reply when Shiv cut in, “But how quick, exactly?”
“Well… he’s not a cup of instant noodles.”
“Sure, but can we speed it up? Like a—a blood bag or an adrenaline shot?”
Roman scowled. “Geez, take it easy. You wanna give him a fucking Tabasco suppository?”
“Fuck you! It’s what he’d want,” Shiv defensively replied.
“Fuck you, too. The main thing is that we look after him, okay?” Roman slung an arm over your waist and you leaned into him with a sigh. 
“Obviously, I agree.”
“Oh, do you, though? Sounded like you want to jumpstart our father like he’s a fucking pick-up truck!” Roman uneasily glanced at Logan, who’d fallen asleep on the chair. “Shit. Can you guys call us when he’s less… scary?”
With that, Roman dragged you away from the group. You could still feel Shiv’s angry eyes burning into your back.
“Where are we going?”
“Bathroom.”
“And do you want me to aim your penis for you?” you asked, laughing slightly. “Why are you making me come with you?”
Roman shot you a loose grin. “I could come up with twenty different sex jokes with what you just said. But I’m not going to, because I’m a gentleman.”
“He says, as he shoves me into the men’s bathroom,” you scoffed, before striding in and locking the door behind you. “I hope you’re not looking for a quickie here. I don’t think it’s very sanitary.”
Laughing nervously, Roman’s grip on your hand left so it could curl over your hip, tugging you close. 
“You don’t want a little distraction? Just give me five minutes,” he mumbled. His head dipped forward to kiss the junction between your neck and your shoulder. 
“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” you whispered, so low that Roman only barely heard it.
In truth, he didn’t know, either.
“Besides, I don’t think we’d have the time, anyway. The floor is fucking lava out there,” you murmured. “Also, I wouldn’t want our first time together to be in a bathroom at a shareholder’s meeting.”
Roman smiled, almost shy, almost disbelieving. “First time? Wow. Is this your way of telling me you want to have sex with me?”
“As if you wouldn’t throw yourself on your knees begging for it,” you bit back, wrinkling your nose affectionately. Then, you cupped his face and kissed the side of his nose, leaving a faint mark of lip tint against his skin. You smiled at that. “You’re cute, Romeo. But I know you. If you wanted to have sex, you’d be dry-humping me against the sink as soon as we stepped foot in here. What is it you actually want to talk about?”
Roman blew out a heavy sigh. His hands fell away from you as he hoisted himself up onto the sink and leaned against the pristine mirror. “I wanted to come clean to you. No secrets right? During the plane ride back to New York, I called Dad. I told him I wanted the top job, but I also told him that… that you and Gerri would be my second choices if he didn’t think I was ready. I just—I wanted to know if you maybe gave him a call, too?”
There was a moment of silence.
“I did.” You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “I told him that I didn’t want it.”
“Oh.”
“And I told him that Gerri would be my choice.”
Roman’s eyes met yours. They twitched with incredulity. “And you didn’t—you didn’t mention me anywhere in there?”
“I didn’t.”
“Wow. Great fucking friend you are.”
“Rome—”
“You chose the croney over me?”
Your features hardened. “Rome. Fuck, I just… I told him I didn’t want it because I didn’t want to be marked as the token figure that roped the company out of hot water. And I don’t want that for you, either. Don’t you get it? Not to mention it’d ruin your relationship with your siblings.”
“So you just—you don’t think it’d ever be me?” Something in his voice broke.
“It could be,” you admitted. “But I don’t want it to. Not now, at least.”
There was a longer silence. Roman pulled at his face tiredly. 
You opened your mouth again, but he waved you away. “I know, I know, you didn’t offer me up because you love me and you’re trying to protect me. Thanks, fuck-face.”
He hopped off from the sink, cradling the back of your head so he could give you a chaste kiss on the forehead.
“You still up for that quickie?” you tried to joke, nudging him with a half-hearted smile.
“Sorry, I’m saving myself for Marcia. Nothing like fucking your father’s leftovers, I’d say.”
The two of you laughed and linked arms, unlocking the bathroom door to walk out and make your way back to the group.
It seemed that the two of you came back at the perfect time, because Shiv was worriedly telling everyone, “His moans are getting louder.”
“Okay, but can he do that on stage?” Hugo questioned.
“Is it a wheel-on and wave situation?” 
“Fuck, no. We’re not gonna make the piss-mad bear dance with fucking cattle prods!” Roman angrily put out. “We need to be looking after him.”
Shiv propped her hands up on her hips. “So he’s not gonna do his speech? Is that it, though? Do we just—does that mean we go down? We’d fucking give up?” She hurriedly turned and asked one of the analysts what the stats on the vote were. “God, okay. I think we should just go back to Sandy and Stewy and try to save the deal.”
“No, no. You can’t. Dad said no deal,” Roman reminded her. 
“Dad didn’t say shit, Rome!”
“He said no deal! Are you fucking deaf?”
“No, he didn’t! His urethra had wrestled control over his brain! I could at least talk to them, right? If we go to the vote, we’d probably… we’d lose. Karl? Frank? Tom?”
They all babbled incoherently—mostly in agreement. 
“Y/N?”
You pursed your lips. “Yeah. I think you should try.”
“Rome? You back this?”
Roman pinched the space between his brows. Sucking in a deep breath, he said, “Go on, yeah. Go fuck it up, you moron.”
With that, Shiv rushed away, pulling out her phone to give them a call.
Before the shareholder meeting ended, the President called and the group had Roman answer, since Logan was currently… unavailable. He was extremely upset with Logan and said that he wouldn’t be running for another term, which was a major blowback for the company, since he was the stilt to Waystar’s political survival.
It was safe to say that things were going to shit.
Then Shiv called to say that she’d finessed four seats out of the board, which was a good fucking deal, so—maybe things weren’t all that shit.
Roman wasn’t happy with going against Logan’s wishes, but he frustratedly nodded. “We’re good. We’re all good. Hold the voting.”
Everyone cheered and sighed in relief. 
When Logan came to, Gerri filled him in with all the details. He didn’t like what Shiv did, not at all, despite her defensive arguments that she’d saved the company. He yelled at her then, and everyone was quiet for a moment.
But Logan smiled at you, and patted Roman’s shoulder minutes later. He was fine, right? Things were fine.
Things were going to be okay.
242 notes · View notes
filmofhybe · 7 months
Note
Hi, requests are open right? Can I request what type of fanboys enha would be for idol!reader?
type of fanboys enhypen would be for idol reader
pairing : ot7! x reader genre : fan x Idol , fluff 400-500 words per member warning : none
a/n: first request in ages!! Keep them coming in would mean a lot! Icl this kinda turned into a send off / fansign typa thing so I hope you don’t mind and enjoy!!
> masterlist of my other works
© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.
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정원 jungwon
this guy is your biggest fan he just doesn’t show it
unlike your other fans, he’s really respectful which makes you remember him
and he’s cute and somehow always wins a video call or fansign with you
folds everytime you call his nickname that you gave him
“y/nnie can I give you something?”
“of course wonnie!”
hands you the cutest beaded jewelry and plushie ever
“oh my gosh thank you so much wonnie!!”
Would let you win in a hand wrestling contest
he would freak out when he sees you wearing the jewelry he gave you
He would also freak out when he sees you posting the plushies he gave you
Will post about it on weverse and you would thank him in the comments.
Goes even crazier after that
You both are like best friends 😭
He’s fr famous among your fandom
yk how some ppl in some fandom are so well known they get verified on twitter
Yea that’s him 🤭
#dedicationfr
희 승 heeseung
That fan that would cover all your songs (and the successful ones)
Gets shit tons of views on your covers
which you would notice his videos and talk about how talented he is on weverse
Bro freaked out
Probably be posting about it on all his social media for the rest of his life (even facebook)
“YALL SHE NOTICED ME!!”
“Watch me brag about this for the rest of my life”
Would thank you so much for the compliments when he goes to ur fansigns
“Aww no worries heeseung! Your covers are always my favorite! I listen to them everyday! I even subscribed to your channel as well!”
Are you meeting heeseung or is heeseung meeting you rn?
“What’s your dream y/nnie?”
“My dream is to collab with you!”
Luckiest fan on earth honestly cuz you both did a collab a year later
#successfulfanbehavior
박종성 Park Jeongseong
THE ONE WHOSE RICH AND GO CRAZY !!
buy like 40 albums at once just to win a fansign with you😭
AND he would buy like 5 of your concert tickets
Doesn’t matter if your going aboard for your concert
Watch him be there and in the VIP sections as well
Man he really doesn’t care if he spend all his health insurance on you
All he cares is that he sees you and your happy
Always catch him during send offs
You both have the chaotic yet causal talks ever
“Omg jay your here again?”
“Yup! Got another ticket to see you!”
“Your crazy for spending so much!”
“Is worth it when it comes to you.”
would buy you the craziest gifts ever
Branded bags, games , jewelry , plushies etc
Would 100% send you a food truck for good luck during your MV filming or comebacks
You would thank him on weverse cuz you knew is him who would do these type of crazy things
What he’s doing is all of your fanboys biggest dream
#thecrazyrichfan
심재윤 Sim Jaeyun
You can’t tell me he ain’t those funny ass twitter stans
#y/nselfieday 😝
“STOP WHY SHE ATE THIS COMEBACK UP SM?”
Would fight those antis on twitter
“You can’t even talk cuz your face be lopsided and elongated lmao.” - jake
“And what about you? Stop using Google translate for your Korean captions🙄” - anti.
“sis I’m Korean?!”
He will make edits of you and I don’t make the rules on that
“my fav stage of y/n but make it my edit for her xoxo!!”
Would go Borderline excited when he got tickets to your concert
ALWAYS POSTING THE SEND OFF VIDEOS OF YOU
“Y/N TOUCHED MY POLAROID CAMERA IMMA CRY NOW.”
“guys y/n mf knows my twitter. Imma die.”
gets embarrassed when you tell him you know him through his funny tweets and you secretly reads it for positivity
Man could die peacefully after that
#sillybillytwitterstan
성훈 Sunghoon
Another really respectful fan but he’s so shy when it comes to fanboying
More the quiet ones but he would be spotted so easy because of how beautiful he is
Please he stood out the most during your send off
Icl when you saw him you thought you were dreaming a cute fan boy?!?
When you walked over do him his heart stopped. Like omg YOUR MORE GORGEOUS IRL?!
“hi y/n~ can you sign my album please?”
“Of course what’s your name?”
“Sung-sunghoon.”
“Such a cute name for a cute boy!”
Bro your such a flirt💀
He couldn’t handle it and all he did with mumble thank you
“You want a picture as well?”
All he could do was nod and you took a picture of you both tgt
Posted on his social about it and everyone was saying how pretty you both looked
Which made him less shy the next time he saw you
“Omg sunghoon! Hi how are you?”
“I’m good how bout you y/n?”
“I’m good! Glad your less shy now! I was so excited to meet you!!l
He’s the pretty, handsome shy fanboys and will always be😝
#shybuthandsomefanboy
선우 Sunoo
THOSE REALLY HYPER FANS
And those fans who has a shop dedicated to their idols
I mean your kinda hyper so like I get why he would love you
Another chaotic twitter stan but make it weverse
Would pay for your me membership everytime
You would never see him without those little membership tags next to his name on weverse
He would be those fans to say “I love you” mid way while your speaking on stage
You would always react to them with a laugh cuz you find it really funny and cute
His cuteness really captures your attention and he would go insane after you mention about him on your weverse live
“I saw this fanboy during send off, he had pink hair and cute cheeks. Really high pitched voice and he gave me this cute plushie keyring that looks like me. So thank you whoever you are!!”
Knew it was him cuz he was the only fanboy in the crowd with pink hair and was the one who got you that keyring
Would 100% start gifting you clothes for the keyring and you would post about it from time to time
You secretly supports sunoo’s little keyring business after he started selling the one and only y/n keyring
#hypercutiesellerfan
にしむら りき Nishimura Riki
Trend setter fan and secretly hyper fan
We all know how good niki is at dancing so when you drop a new song he danced to it with his own choreography that has gone viral.
LIKE VIRAL VIRAL
and every fam girl of yours was like “omg y/n has a cute fanboy!!” “y/n needs to see this.”
And you did see it and posted about it on weverse as well as Instagram
“Look at him!! He’s so talented!! Time to recreate!!”
NIKI WAS IN HIS PREDEBUT ERA FR LMAO
kicking his feet under the blankets cuz he just got noticed by his idol
Would go insane when you did his dance
Man got to see his dance live as well cuz you performed it during your concert
During send off you can easily tell it was niki in the crowd
“Your the creator of my dance niki right? Your so talented!!”
Are you meeting niki or Is niki meeting you? 2.0
“Haha thank you so much! You did so well as well!!”
You continue to do covers of his dance which makes him go feral everytime
Post about it on insta but behind the screen he’s like :
“She’s about to hire me to be her Choreographer” -niki
“Stop the delusion.” - heeseung
“Watch me.” - niki
Bro predicted his future cuz now half of the your dance is created by him
#trendsetterfan
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ofmermaidstories · 1 year
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there’s something so bittersweet and lovely about fanfic, at it’s core. it’s so impermeable, because it’s so individual. fics don’t get finished. fics get lost because they were typed out and sent to friends, in the 70s, and somewhere along the way someone packed it up in a cardboard box and their kids shuffled it to the attic. websites go down. archives get built, but then people lose faith in the story or the canon or the creator and delete them. you read it at like, 3am, and can’t remember the title months later when you look for it again.
the tiktok these comments are from was lamenting about the loss of a favourite fic—it (the tiktok) had 85k+ likes, and over 700 comments, mostly similar to these. people talking about downloading fics to read on a tablet only for them to disappear the next day. using the wayback machine and combing through results, just to find something they loved. i think it’s sweet because it’s so human—how easily we love something, and how easily we lose it. i used to print out my favourite fics, as a kid—i still have a binder of them, buried under yearbooks and the old journals i kept during those topsy turvy preteen years. i could tell you the overarching plot to a Cardcaptor Sakura fantasy AU i read (and loved; it became my personality for months afterwards) but i can’t remember how it ended, or if it even did. i finally broke down and signed up for an account on AO3 specifically to bookmark an old, old fic that i had read somewhere else, years and years and years ago and found again on AO3 only because i accidentally stumbled on the author here on tumblr (i had only found the fic in the first place all those years ago because of a playlist). i used the same shade of lipstick for years purely because a fic i really liked had the main character apply it (it was a limited edition one at the time; i bought my first one from a ebay seller in the UK at double the retail price, lmao) while the love interest watched them, but i can’t remember the name of it, only how it made me feel (and how, for years afterwards, i would wear that shade whenever i felt like the day had something promising to it).
one of the first anon’s i ever got, in the early days of this tumblr, was someone who asked me if it was okay if they downloaded surrender—and of course it was. of course it is. there was a point, during the final stretch when i was trying to write the last chapter, that i almost lost the entirety of what i had written for that fic—and i mean, it was on AO3 by that stage so it would’ve only set me back a chapter or so, but it goes to show how fragile things can be. how sometimes fics only last in tiny ways—because of the unfinished PDF file someone downloads. The patchy memory of someone’s who’s jumbling it and three other fics together. Because someone wore the same shade of lipstick you mentioned, off-hand, for years afterwards.
(this is a love letter to the silent readers; the silent savers. the lurkers. fandom and the internet at large is made of lurkers (eighty-five thousand likes. seven hundred comments). people who saved fics and waybacked them and will reread them, even uncompleted. telling each other we did a good job, that we liked this or we liked that is wonderful, and fun, and a great (and important) way to build a community and has also given me my current friends—but sometimes something you make will matter and live on in a way you will never, ever know. and it’s just how it is. it’s part of the fun and it’s part of the charm. it’s just how we work as people.)
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