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#So it could've been like a memory of him
artemx746 · 24 days
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Honestly hate how Annabeth doesn't get to keep majority of her items (ie. Daedalus' laptop)
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dailyrickastley · 1 month
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Once upon time in 1987...
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landfilloftrash · 1 year
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“I… I could’ve sworn.. hm. I guess not. Nevermind, Captain. It’s nothing...”
oh q who ! anyways I had . A thought.
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this thought is specifically thanks to @porgthespacepenguin​ and @celestialholz​ ‘s theories living rent free since s2 came OUT and now s3 having no mention of local entity even in passing (so far. but i have little hope /lh)
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(hissing)
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jgracie · 15 days
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I’m honestly team Jason by himself,this dude has so much trauma to unpack that he should focus all of his love and attention on himself and then,one day,find some that understand him and love him for who he is.That’s when Reyna comes in,she has been his friend through anything and she would understand and support hime(giving him the time and space to heal)more than anyone else.They would have made a really good and healthy couple one day🥺
YES YES YES THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS IN MY HEAD TOO !!!!!! anon u literally read my mind i love u SO much for this 🗣
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theood · 7 months
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I take being kin very seriously as a structural part of my being and also I do think it's a little silly funny. These can and do coexist and I will not be talking about the weeks long kin shifts I experience those never happen haha
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For the longest time I've thought that YouTube hasn't changed that much but I decided to take a look at the wayback machine.
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This is youtube on the 12th of September 2013, when I made my original channel that I use to this day.
Don't get me wrong, I was using YouTube even before I had a channel because I was a dumb kid who thought I'd have to immediately start making content.
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This is the subscribe button I remember.
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THIS LAYOUT is such a classic, I remember going to YouTube on my family pc and seeing this.
I remember doing my homework and having my phone behind me on the cabinet playing a video with the screen closed because it used to keep playing after turning the phone off.
But out of all the things that threw me back into my childhood,
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This banner hit me the hardest.
I remember logging into the PC's in school and searching up 'Markiplier' on YouTube, clicking on his channel and seeing this banner at the top of the page.
I can not express how much I adore all of this.
It is my childhood in the literal sense.
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niehuaisang · 1 year
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I'm like half a year late but i finally finished tiger&bunny and WHAT was the fucking point of killing yuri in the end like why
Not to mention that they didn't even give us taibani facing lunatic at the end and instead gave us that stupid fight where he isn't even in control of his body
I feel like they had a clear vision of what to do with yuri as a character in the first season but appaently had none of that for s2? They just have his mom killed and then kill him off too in such a half assed way...
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pirateborn-a · 2 years
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Not me crying thinking how nice to would be if ghost roger kinda talked with his young son. Not me getting emotional over this
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     No but like So true!!  Roger does try to stick with Ace,,, watches his son grow up hating him and being hated for behind his and unable do anything about it or comfort him??  And like     Roger loves Garp he trusts the man and knows he’s a good person but also worstie what the fuck-          he gets it, he’s known garp long enough to know how he thinks and he gets it and he never meant for garp to have guardianship over Ace but For the love of the Sea what is he doing to his son--
      But def whenever his ghost’s around Ace Roger would try to talk to him, tries to tell happy stories from his voyages, tries to talk about his crew, tries to talk about his mother and how wonderful Rouge was and how much she loves him, how much roger loves him            just,      i am very normal about roger seeing the consequences of his actions yet unable to do something about it,
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nateriverswife · 9 months
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in my struggle, i found a ray of hope. random fandom users from years ago.
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reticent-writer · 3 months
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Spiral p1
warnings: a bit violent, shitty parents
(it doesn't go into details)
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✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿ 
"You killed your parents?" He was genuinely shocked as he watched you nod. He lived for tea like this but coming from you he couldn't help but be confused.
"Why on earth would you do that. You told me that you loved them."
"I mean I did but they were- wait my death led to yours?" You changed the subject.
"Yes, I simply cannot function without you, my dear. I was hiding a body in the woods when I was shot in the head." He said it as if it was a fond memory. It was creepy but as he talked a red X appeared on his forhead. the moment he saw you staring it vanished.
"You can't change the subject, Y/n. When and Why did you kill your parents?"
You sighed as you went to tell your story, "They were an odd pair, in my opinion, they should have been divorced. My mother was drunk, always talking about how she never liked my father but had 6 kids with him, I was the eldest. My father always talked about the life he could've had if he didn't settle for my mother. When my father lost his job he became a drunk and often got violent with us. After a while, I got tired of it and told my siblings to go to a friend's house for the night. The next day they were found dead by the neighbor's, No one was caught."
"That must've been quite a night." He joked.
"It was, it was also the night I met you."
"Really? You seemed so.... happy."
"Because I was."
From then on the two of you talked daily
You had learned that he had been missing from the public eye for 7 years
He started calling you pet names he used when he was alive
He told you things he would never tell anyone else
You met husk and niffty
You started to like him again but you could never forgive him for killing you
nut you considered it when he started working for the hazbin hotel
You were a patron
Although you didn't believe that sinners can change you decided to give it a shot
"Well good morning, My love. It's such a nice day today, would you care to join me for a trip to the tailor? A nobody took a bit off me." He grinned from ear to ear while offering his arm of you to take. You accepted.
At the tailor the two of you while the two of you were waiting for his jacket you suggested he try on more suits for a variety of clothes.
"How does with one look?" He came out in a blue suit with a black button-up. (his colors in reverse)
"You look amazing." You beamed as his posed.
"So this is a yes?"
"Of course-"
"Sir your jacket is ready."
Alastor paid for the new suit and his old one. Outside of the shop was a crowd surround a tv broadcasting Vox.
Alastor told you practically nothing about the other overlords but you could tell he did not like Vox and the way he looked at the TV confirmed it.
"Come along, dear. There's nothing to see over there."
✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿ 
Alastor beefing with Lucifer and cursing is so funny to me💀
Taglist: @berryghostbunny, @lorkai, @mygoldtears, @kawaiiskeletoneggsnerd, @secretkoalapersona-blog, @koji-akeme, @lofasofabread , @msyolocat-blog, @elementress44, @luujjvi, @justmare
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lost-and-ephemeral · 2 months
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Could you please do LDS boys +
Caleb reacting to reader being injured/severely injured?<3
HCs: You're Injured (ft. main trio + Caleb)
Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader, Caleb x reader (seperate)
Tags: hurt/comfort, reader is injured but won't die
A/N: Thanks for your request! First time writing for Caleb, yay. Sorry if it isn't good enough, I'm not feeling so good since morning.
-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 
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Caleb
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"Hold on, pip-squeak, I'm right here."
Your exhausted body, covered in wounds from the battle with Wanderer, was ready to collapse to the ground if Caleb hadn't caught you in time.
He knew how dangerous your job was, but that didn't make him any less worried.
You protected him but got hurt in the process.
He's frustrated and angry because there's no way he could've protected you in that situation.
And Caleb just hates this feeling, but trying to stay calm for your sake. His emotions could only make everything worse.
"Sometimes even big girls need someone else's help. Right? And I'm here for you."
Concern was written all over his face, he couldn't hide it even if he really tried. The last thing he wanted was to see you hurt, especially like this.
He was supposed to be your main protector back then. But now things have changed.
You had really grown a lot, not just physically, but mentally too.
It was just hard to accept you're no longer a little girl.
Yes, you are strong and mature. But Caleb kept holding you like you were the most fragile being in the world.
He will give you first aid as quickly as he can, while calling an ambulance. Caleb is not the kind of person who would risk your life trying to handle this situation on his own.
Definitely going to the hospital with you while holding your hand and talking to you. He'll be around as long as it takes.
Probably will fall asleep on the chair near your hospital bed.
No doubt he'll continue to look after you like he did when you both were younger.
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Rafayel
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"No, no, no. Don't even think about leaving me like this!"
Maybe sometimes Rafayel was overly dramatic, but he's actually afraid of losing you again.
When he saw that you were injured after not-so-pleasant encounter with Wanderers, his facade of self-confidence instantly cracked.
Rafayel started panicking and it was clear from the look on his face as he crouched beside you, seeing how you trying to cover the wound by your bloody hands.
Not again. No.
All these years he had to watch you die over and over again, losing all memories of him.
Rafayel instantly began to examine your wounds, holding you close. He didn't care if his perfectly white shirt will be covered in blood as well.
He needed to be sure you won't die this time.
And his playful attitude is gone completely.
"Don't you dare to die on me, you hear? I won't forgive you. Ever. Promise me. Promise me you won't die."
He tried to remain calm and ignore the suffocating feeling of anxiety that has been slowly rising in his chest. But he couldn't.
Will do everything to stop the bleeding while help is on it's way. You can feel his hands trembling.
He'd better die for you himself, not vice versa.
I swear, this man is gonna get the whole hospital on alert. Nurses and doctors can be mad at him as much as they want. It doesn't matter to him.
Rafayel won't rest and eat properly until you get better. He just physically can't.
"Don't scare me like this ever again, please."
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Xavier
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"I failed you."
You accidentaly got injured during your mission. And poor Xavier decided it was totally his fault.
You both found yourself surrounded by enemies and before he could even react, one of them attacked you, leaving a deep wound on your side.
Needless to say, in the next couple of seconds all Wanderers were completely destroyed, and Xavier was fully focused on you.
This isn't the first time you've been injured during a mission. But each time Xavier is as worried as always.
Especially when your injuries are so severe.
Will administer first aid on the spot, even the bare minimum, before carrying you to safety.
With Wanderers around, it's not going to be easy to get you out of this dangerous zone. So Xavier needs to stabilize you a little at first.
"I won't let you get hurt again. I promise."
He is already experienced in these situations, so he's able to keep his emotions under control. But that doesn't mean that deep inside he isn't worried sick about you.
Will be looking for anything to treat your wound and avoid infection.
Guilt will slowly eat him up from the inside no matter what. He had to protect you, but he failed to do so.
Even if you assure him it's just an accident, Xavier just shakes his head in response.
As soon as you can get out, he'll take you to the hospital. It is unlikely that his skills will be enough to make your wound heal properly.
Better safe than sorry.
He still has a lot of work to do, but he'll come to you whenever he has a spare minute.
Will probably act like a guilty puppy for a long time.
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Zayne
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"You're constantly putting yourself in danger."
Zayne has a hard time showing his feelings openly, especially when it comes to you, so it's no surprise that his display of concern felt like he was scolding you.
But in reality he's really, really worried about you every time.
He knew right away that you were in the hospital after another accident.
And as soon as Zayne had some time off between surgeries, he came to you.
Looking at you in the hospital bed, he felt his heart ache.
While he was desperately searching for a cure for your heart, you kept getting hurt again and again.
Even when you smiled, like if trying to reassure him everything's fine, Zayne only sighed and shook his head. You have no idea how hard it was to see you hurt and vulnerable like this.
He's already been informed of the severity of your wounds and how much blood you've lost.
And he could've lost you.
But Zayne can't let his emotions take over. There are still a few more difficult surgeries ahead where he cannot afford to make a mistake.
And if he starts panicking right in front of you, it's not going to speed up the healing process.
"I'd be happy if you took a more responsible approach to your health. Then I wouldn't have to be so worried."
He moved his chair closer to your bed and sat in silence for a while, squeezing your hand.
Zayne will stay around as long as his job lets him.
Don't be surprised to find candies or plushies you wanted on your nightstand.
You can ask him about these little gifts.
And watch carefully as a faint smile appears on his lips.
"Usually only children get so excited about toys. So it turns out you're not that far from being a child?"
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cupidddd-d · 3 months
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oh heart, and then it falls
in which theodore nott is actually nice to you?
gn reader but it's mentioned that they wear lip gloss !!
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"ow, fuck!" you cried out as your potion bubbled over the edge of the cauldron, oozing onto your hand. tears of pain sprung to your eyes, and you could already feel the burns forming underneath the thick sludge sitting on your skin.
"nott, you were supposed to be watching the potion while i wrote notes!" embarrassingly, your voice broke, and you could feel a tear dripping down your face. your notes were ruined, your hand was burnt, you were crying in front of the boy who was most likely to make fun of you for it, and your potion was completely unsalvageable. you may have been hallucinating, but you could have sworn that you could smell burnt flesh.
"huh?" theodore's head jolted up from his conversation with draco. his eyes glanced from your hand to your face, and then back down again. "merlin...we've got to get you to the hospital wing..."
you walked in silence as he led you out of the hospital wing, staring down at where he was applying bandages to your hand. he had poured a numbing potion over the wound, but memories of your previous pain echoed around your body.
"why are you doing this, nott?" your mouth was dry as you stared down at his gentle movements. what happened to the boy who practically fed off of your despair?
"i mean...i'm not a total monster. i don't like you, but it's not like i want you to be hurt." he let out a little scoff, his eyes darting to the side.
"could've fooled me," you rolled your eyes. "remember that time when you pushed my head into the cake on my birthday?" a little smirk was starting to cross your lips.
"that was 9 years ago, and i apologized!" he protested, a matching grin growing on his face.
"only after your mother forced you to," you retorted, rolling your eyes.
"at least i still apologized, right?" he shrugged, giving you a charming, well-practiced smile.
"shame, i still don't accept your apology," you mused.
the two of you sat in silence for a moment, letting him fully concentrate on fixing your hand.
"why are you doing this, nott?" you asked again, the question still weighing on your mind. for some reason, his previous answer didn't feel like the full truth. your eyes bore into his, your gaze so beseeching that it makes him divert his attention back to your bandaged hands.
"you know why." he said simply. quietly. his eyes were dark as they flit back to yours.
you inhaled sharply. if he was saying what you think he's saying... "no, i don't." your voice came out trembly and embarrassingly weak, and you kicked yourself mentally.
"i don't really have to spell it out for you, do i?" he was moving closer and closer. "stop me if you don't want this--and you should probably do it now, because i've waited so long for this moment, i think this might be your only opportunity."
his breath was fanning your lips now, his gaze stuck on your parted lips. you leaned in, and that was all it took for him to dive into you. his lips seared into yours, the kiss fervent. his hands were everywhere, cupping your jaw, pulling your waist to bring you closer to him, wrapping in your hair.
your eyes were wide as he pulled back, a smug smirk on his face as he licked his lips. "what is that, cherry flavored lip gloss?"
"nott-" you managed to stutter out.
"come on, darling. after what we just did, i'd expect us to be past the last-name basis." he snickered, leaning down to capture your lips with his once again.
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tarjapearce · 4 months
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Heathens (Pt. 1)
Priest! Miguel O'Hara x Nun!Reader
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art by @maxro_art on IG (Her Deliverance AU is ❤️❤️🤌🏻)
WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. If you're sensitive regarding religion, please don't read this. Masturbation in holy places, explicit language, wet dreams, Female anatomy, oral ( F receiving) Gentle Dom Miguel, Corruption kink, overused tropes cause yeah, a tinge of yandere undertones if you squint, mutual lust, Not Proofread ~
Summary: Father O'Hara had a little lamb ~
A/N: Another for the Miguelverse ~ Reblogs and comments are much appreciated c:
Main Masterlist
From all the places you could've find solace from war, The house of God was the least of lieus in your list. Not that you had a choice.
Family long gone after unsuspected explosions decimated your town, followed by constant tragedies such as losing friends along the way either by enemy and merciless hands or sickness. In the end, it was only you. You had outlived them all despite your short age. And now, they lived crammed up in your memories.
Happy, smiling and very much alive. Sometimes you'd see familiar faces on stranger's bodies. Grief had slowly nested within your soul and when all hope seemed lost, the chapel had saved you from what surely would end up in your premature death.
The blackest of black matched the crispest white you had ever seen, they were all donned in their beatific robes, prayer beads dangling at every gentle step they did. And there it was, epiphany unfolding itself before your experienced in horror eyes. It was your call.
All the answers to your laments and aching heart were sent as them. Nuns of the Mistbourne Parish. A church located in the outskirts of a now rundown by conflict Nueva York. The church that now played a major role in taking in as much people within their sacred walls, before they could be dispatched to a more adequate place.
Without hesitation, you had joined. And now, six years later you still remained with them. Early twenties had settled right for you as a nun. Ever devoted, compassionate, and diligent.
As time went on, the main city was reconstructed, burying it's dark tragedy under freshly built towers, hiding the pain under the rugged carpet full of concrete and wire homes, like nothing ever happened. Like if war had never stepped upon it and gave it a much needed renewal at people's lives expenses.
But no matter how many changes time brought, life in Mistbourne's Parish remained the same. Untouched by the technological advances from the outer world. There was always something to do, as simple as it was. And so far, you've been satisfied with it.
The only alterations worth of mention was your holy family expanding.
A new couple additions to the staff. More sisters, an eighty percent of them were beyond fifty. You were the youngest, their child. After all some ended up raising you within the house.
And him. The new priest.
The tallest and bulkiest man you've ever seen. As much as staring was considered rude and borderline a sin, it was unavoidable to do so, when his rusty brown eyes fell upon you. Their color unique, like he was. Never in your life had you seen someone like him, or another man besides the butcher and the guard. He had definitely been a regular man before coming here.
The soft weary expression lines in his sharp countenance revealed his own fair of lived experiences.
He towered over you, crisp white dot on his black rimmed neck line, parading his status with modest pride, and golden praying beads dangling on his narrow hips, you held yours while asking forgiveness for keep staring.
"Father."
Father O'Hara. In his mid thirties, broken family also torn by war, wearing his vows in the shape of a ring on his right hand.
"Sister"
His voice deep yet gentle, like a lullaby. His steps took him away to his own residence. The rectory outside the church.
It made sense as to how some workers were renovating it in the past few weeks. The parish last priest had been sent off in sacred duties, only to realize later that he had killed a man. Cops and detectives surely made a show out of it.
Dark times, according to Sister Lianne, one of your mother figures. But now, Father O'Hara had taken his place, erasing all traces of the previous man with concise and pithy actions.
He took his role seriously. Said masses on sundays, visited the sick, baptized people; but his most popular feat was to hear the confessions. The most intimate secrets revealed to him by either your fellow sisters or people from the town that came to expiate their sins in hope to be forgiven.
You'd sometimes run into each other, bumping casually in the narrow wooden floored halls, you'd often apologize, only to reciprocate a polite smile on both ends. He'd sometimes help you out by carrying things a bit too heavy, or you'd help him out lighting up the altar for his speech.
Yet, his hands in one occasion took an accidental taste of your body dimensions underneath your beatific robes, while preventing you from falling down the stairs. He'd scold you for being careless and carrying things that obscured your sight.
After many sorries on your behalf, you returned to the cells and went straight to your own dorm, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
His hands felt burning upon remembering the dents of your form, the curve of your waist and certainly the warmth that irradiated from you, so so close from his.
Unexpectedly it had brought memories from his past. His old life where he'd have his lovely and temporary companion for the night impaled deliciously with himself before war and hell broke loose. Before he was forced by the subversives that raided his town to create a new fake identity in the spot as they heard him speak spanish or fight a war he hadn't started, much less would end. And so, his life as Father O'Hara begun.
Odd enough, the sudden and thoughtless choice had granted him peace after witnessing so many terrors his fellow human could be capable of. His need of help has always been stronger than anything and when he finished licencing some sacrifices were required.
Poverty vows weren't an issue since his previous life had been modest yet good enough to go by. Little difference between his current lifestyle.
The obedience vow took him a little longer to fully yield. But he accomplished it to a T, just to avoid more trouble. He faked it until he made it.
His chastity vow had been a quite the challenge to perfect, but no matter how much the temptations paraded before him in the many parishes he was assigned to, he didn't give in. His libido had been sapped out of his body, like a campfire after completing it's useful cycle.
Not because of his brand new sanctity invested by holier-than-thou elders, but rather a broken mind full of grievance and other negatives that always haunted him. The gunshots and bombings too fresh in his mind.
It had been years since he touched someone in a way that wasn't holy. Since he had provoked things in someone else that clearly would make him go under the laicization from the clergy without second guessings.
Until he held you the other day.
Both of your eyes too enraptured in eachother that had sent an igniting spark to his spine. Reviving all those inactive nerves he thought his existencial toll severed long ago. His eyes had gave a brief rake over your face.
Wide and round eyes staring back, both in awe and surprise straight into his soul. Nose flaring softly just like your mouth, whose bottom lip trembled at the little erratic breaths your lungs exhaled upon being in physical contact with a man for the first time in ever, while cheeks bloomed with a not so discreet flush. And your body heat.
Jesus all mighty.
It was dangerously tempting. For a brief moment his past self had taken over, but quickly vanished upon hearing steps. Earning you to fix your crucifix and cowl nervously and him to fist his hands to refrain himself to take another taste and fix his collar and cassock.
To his conclusion, the robes you wore did not match what was underneath. He noted much, but having you wear that loose habit only fuelled his now active and sinful imagination. An opposite from your habits' purpose.
Priest life was hard, and the Celibacy vows were his biggest damnation. Mind often plagued with 'I shouldn't have done this.' 'This is ridiculous' 'Fucking idiot' 'Why did I even lie about this?' But even so, priesthood was better than ending up dead or mutilated by mines somewhere in the battlefield, in the middle of a war he didn't started, much less would end.
Government later was forcibly recruiting all those men, be them widowed or married. It didn't matter. War wasn't for him. Neither Priesthood.
But he'd bear it. He'd bear it until he was put in another parish church full of older and witty ladies he'd definitely wouldn't lust after.
----
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
The sweet voice behind the confessional punctured walls, perked up his ears. He had memorized a lot of things, your voice included.
"I... I haven't confessed in weeks. But it grows me concerned that... my mind is somewhere else."
Silence. You were met with silence as expected, it also encouraged you to keep talking.
"A man has flooded my thoughts and no matter how much I try to occupy myself, he's there. Leading me to temptation and sin."
A man?
His brow quirked as he slanted over the little wooden division between you, to hear better and take a peek on your face. The only men he could think of was the guard, the butcher and himself. The only men inhabiting the same area as you.
"How does this man tempts you?"
"He... He visits. In my dreams I mean and..."
A low 'forgive me, God' echoed in your stall. His throat dried and his hands rested on each side of his knees, gripping at the fabric of his pants.
"He does things I know I shouldn't partake in... But, it feels too real."
"You sound scared. Does it frightens you?"
"Very much so. But it is a strange sort of fear, Father."
"What kind of fear then?"
It took you a long pause to muster
"A fear of him stopping his visits in my mind."
He gulped.
Your hands took the crucifix and held it tighter, "For him to stop doing such sinful things to me, even in my dreams."
"Have you sinned in the carnal affairs?"
"N-No. I would never. I've never engaged in them, Father."
His groin twitched, as a hand raked over his scalp. A shaky breath that was forced to come out in silence. Only when he thought you couldn't be more innocent, there you were proving him wrong.
"Ever?"
"I promise to you with my life, I've never."
"I must know" He wetted his lips with his tongue, "What kind of things does this man does to you?"
"W-What?"
Your spine straightened up instantly, eyes wild, staring another hole into the already punctured division. Cinnamon color in his skin, the only brief glimpse you managed to see. But even so, his gentle yet cornering voice brought you down from your initial jump.
"I need to know, so I can dictate a penance."
The flush on your cheeks returned, burning bright upon remembering the all too lucid dream you've been having about your secret man. That, even though visited frequently, you still didn't know his face, just his body as it smothered yours wholy in a constant merciless and scorching rut.
All what you remembered was him feasting between your legs like a starved man. His hands maneuvering your soft mounds to then give a gentle squeeze.
"His hands are the ones that bring the sin, Father."
"Explain yourself"
His voice was sultry, buttery rich and smooth on the other side of the stall. A subtle order. To your dismay, that same demon had a similar voice tone. Alluring, speaking to you in a foreign language it had you mewling and asking for forgiveness every time you remembered, cause you had begged the faceless man for more.
"He touches and... t-tastes places I shouldn't allow no man to delve in." With a thick gulp you continued, "His tongue is... marvelous."
His eyes widened for a second as his hand hovered over his crotch
"Marvelous?"
"I feel the biggest sinner by admitting this. Please, do forgive me."
"Accountability is part of the process."
He tried to sound as professional as he could, but little did you know his mind was torturing his already crumbling resolve with such vivid details. Celibacy wasn't a problem, until now. Hearing such sinful words coming from such a unsuspecting thing like yourself, a virgin that is, made his old self to re-emerge.
Disguising himself as a sheep, while he fought through his holy learning years to tame his wolfish appetite.
There were plenty of ewes in the flock , but so far the only one that made his mouth water was you. A perfect little lamb. And now, this. We're you set to making him break his vows?
No. You weren't. He was reaching his limits to break celibacy and you were just having wet dreams about someone that definitely made him wonder about your past life. A past lover? No. Not even that. A possession? A demon? No. Definitely not.
He had heard things whenever on lunch duty. Mindless talk that revealed more to him from others and you than they intended to. You, a nun. Picked up from a ravaged village nearby and raised within  the nuns, meaning, you had zero idea of what pleasure meant.
He believed, but wasn't a complete blinded idiot to faith. Your body was asking for physical and forbidden relief. Just like his.
But again, the golden band around his right hand not only forbid but also was the perpetual reminder of what was a stake.
"I know, Father. But... this man has such power over me that has pushed me to sin. He... he has pushed me to take such vulgar matters in my own hands."
Maker's mercy
His cock twitched harder and he was unable hold back and gave a firm  squeeze while biting his lip to quiet himself at the long forgotten and heady pleasure that was drowning his body in an alarming rate.
As if done of being fed lies and a quick and sloppy handjob for ages. It was disgusting how easy was to sin, how well his body ached and reacted to such stimulus. How effortlessly his old habits had caught up to him.
He was the one that needed a penance now, cause he couldn't shake the image of you spread with your legs wide open, naked, sliding your fingers in between your weeping folds. You'd certainly have your mouth shut or lips bitten to avoid having anyone hear you.
He had closed his eyes while his jaw clenched, occasionally sweeping his tongue over his lips to keep them moist.
"Say it. Say your sin."
He commanded in a voice that had your cheeks flustered and your pearly nub a throb. His hand half squeezed half stroked over his clothed groin. Swollen and needy cock begging to be set free and properly taken care of.
"I..." A dry gulp and your hands went to your crotch, begging your nature to behave. Cheeks impossibly red.
"I've enjoyed touching myself after dreaming a man... f-fucks me, Father."
The word 'fuck' coming out your delicious looking yet pure lips, had his teeth gnawing at the insides of his cheek, self control harder to keep under the leash. It barked, howled even demanded for more explicit details.
Instead, he sighed quietly and cleared his throat. The sudden noise had you gripping the skirt of your habit in shame.
Miguel didn't say much besides the prayer of absolution and a couple of more prayers as your penance. The same right hand that was squeezing his cock was now being kissed by you, to confirm your forgiveness. Plump, warm and soft lips caressed his ring finger.
And once you were gone, his hand took control on its own, slid under his soutane to stroke himself. If you felt like a sinner, he was the devil himself.
The vice like grip in his own cock made him shudder, sensation foreign yet so welcoming after years without it. A little whine escaped past his gaping mouth, exhaling pecaminous breaths as he stroked like teenage boy that just discovered masturbation for the time ever. Sloppy, desperate and wet motions echoed in the now sullied stall.
He fisted his hand tighter, thick fingers coaxing a much needed release, hips rutting into his choking hand. Quiet whimpers and an array of curses flew out his mouth.
His flushed tip swayed and shook under his own rough ministrations while his jaw clenched, he clawed at the chair when hot and thick spurts of his cum dribbled down his hand and wrist before time; pooling in the hollow of his palm while earning a gutural growl that dissolved into a shaky whimper, as he curled against the wooden and punctured wall for a brief lapse of seconds to regain his composure.
"Fuck..." He had to lay against his chair to keep the light-headedness at bay, drowning in his own made pleasure, panting like he had run a marathon for hours.
He shouldn't have lied back ago. And  definitely shouldn't have become a priest. He was soiling their already tainted reputation. His old self was back to stay.
He cleaned up his hand under his robes to then leave to change. He was given a glimpse as you were picking up some harvest in the orchard while he was making his way back home.
---
Window's glasses echoed with the soft rain. The parish has been quiet during weekdays, but busy for you. As winter approaches the harvest must be picked, the grains sorted and the meats stored.
You saw Father O'Hara less and less, and when you did, they were mere glimpses. He was as busy in meetings with other priests, or preparing for the mass that was now given twice a week.
If you weren't in the garden or the laundry, you were in the choir.
Lingering yet brief gazes chased each other. He had heard some nuns speaking about him, some had wonderful things to say, saying that he had been one of the most efficient priests the church has had.
Others mentioned between hushed and bashful whispers about his physical condition and how they caught him go for runs at crack of dawn a couple of times.
And you, just wanted to go to confession again and ask for forgiveness. Not to spill the advantures you had in your dreams with a man that oddly resembled like Father O'Hara, but to unleash your heart's desires to wonder what was beyond the parish.
It was your life, all you've ever known so far. But one of those trips to the city during a beneful visit to another location, had left you amazed. How could a world so different like yours could be considered bad and straying?
But again, vows. Your vows bound you, and once broken, there was no turning back. But right now all that mattered was to get to the dorms. The rest was out in another visit to the city, you were to stay to finish your tasks in the kitchen.
Weather changed so abruptly that one moment you were taking the last basket of vegetables inside, to then run for the dorms to seek refuge. But they were far and the only thing in sight was Father's O'Hara rectory.
It was either getting a terrible fever from the cold and unforgiving rain or ask him to lend you an umbrella to mitigate the glacial numbness spreading through your body. Another reason you barely went out during these days, rains in the countryside were merciless.
Miguel was tending his own garden when the rain begun drenching. Even more when the thunders broke the peaceful white noise. He removed his soutane and shirt off leaving his inner vestments free, but the desperate knock on his door made his undressing ritual to stop.
While quirking an eyebrow, he approached the door and opened it. Eyes widened in surprise upon seeing you, soaked through your bones. lips blue and shivering from the cold.
"P-Please-"
"Jesus. Come in."
He ushered you in, then rushed to get a towel. A frown in his face deepened upon hearing your teeth clatter, clothes stuck to you like a second skin.
"C-Can I... borrow your... u-umbrella?"
Without much though he smoothened the towel against your face, drying it.
"An umbrella? Really?!"
A vehement shake of your head, while trying to get him off you.
"You're freezing cold, the dorms are too far for you to leave. Don't be stubborn."
"I... I don't h-have clothes."
You mumbled through rattling teeth while your eyes darted hazily over his naked torso. He sighed.
"Unbelievable. You're freezing to death and you're worried about clothes. Get them off, I'll put them to dry."
He grumbled while taking more logs into the fire to what would be his living room. If it wasn't for the glacial and biting freeze that refused to leave your body and the foggy thinking in your brain, your cheeks would be beyond red. Crimson even from such simple act.
A weak nod you gave. Your hands stopped bracing your shivering body to focus on removing the cowl and headdress. Releasing through shaky motions your soaked hair that wasted no time to stick on your face and neck.
The next was your crucifix, and praying beads, the tempo you removed them could make a slug to easily win the race, this alarmed him greatly. He had seen what hypothermia did, way before turning himself into this holy persona.
Without much thought, he peeled off your habit that weighed you down.
"Qué mierda más pesada" (Such a heavy shit)
He held you by one arm as he removed the outer layer off. Your eyes drooped and he gave you a little shake.
"Hey, hey, look at me."
Eyes concerned raking over and it dawned on you. Those eyes, the same beautiful and unique eyes were the same that visited in your dreams.
A difficult gulp rolled down your throat as Miguel kept undressing you while grunting. Wet clothes were a pain in his beatific ass. Shivering dicreased, but your lips remained blue, a new shade of purple drawing over them.
"I-It's so cold" You mumbled through laborious breaths.
"Course it's cold. You're soaked! What were you even doing?"
The way he scolded you felt like someone you've known for years was giving you a lecture. So casual, homey, normal. It was Miguel O'Hara speaking, not Father Miguel. The ever gentle and patient man you've been helping.
"Jesús bendito, con cuánta cosa te vistes." (Holy Jesus, so many layers.)
He murmured while pushing you to his chest as he removed the dress that covered your underwear. It felt like a heatless body had been thrown over him, but the warmth irradiating from him felt heavenly. Your form instinctively nuzzled your head on his chest. He had to stop to gulp at the sensations
Even though his mind slapped itself, His couldn't help but wander over your shivering and weak body.
"W-Wait"
A small dark patch hovered above the joint of your legs. Taut peaks followed by lovely areoles ever standing and shivering under the flimsy white fabric of a short nightgown that proved even harder to remove since it clung to you like a second skin, refusing to abandon your body.
He peeled you off of everything despite your protests, but was sufficiently prude to not look over your naked form. A minute too slow and it would be late. Like the young boy in his arms, that had died out of cold once the subversive groups arrived in the forsaken town, they had forced him and the rest to go through a frozen river. He made it, but the boy didn't.
His mind wasn't in the tip of his cock.
That will come later.
But his brain had only one single purpose right now. To keep you alive but for that he needed keep you warm.
Despite the recklessness of his actions, he pulled a freshly folded duvet around  while pulling you ontop of his chest and sat together near the fire. Hands moving to dry your hair as much as he could. Your skin was full of goosebumps, frosty to touch, that relished into any source of heat available. His torso, the duvet and the raging bonfire made your head spin.
It felt like his hands, rubbing some life back into your arms while he shielded your body, embracing your form with his torso and limbs. Like a paramedic on duty. Your cheek smooshed against his solid chest, it made him shudder with your own coldness but eventually the body heat treatment would be effective.
"Sorry" it was all you managed before your teeth shuddered again, and his fingers caressed your neck, placing a new wave of delicious heat on your skin.
"You'll be fine."
Your body was slowly but surely returning to it's temperature. Miguel remained there, basking you within his body, fingers gingerly caressing as much cold skin as he could under the duvet. Even his breath provided a little heat. Your erratic breaths collided against his skin, earning a discreet shudder from him.
You had drifted off to limbo, trying to sleep a bit, but unable to completely do so. Not when a man, the Parish Father nonetheless, was holding and nursing you back to an acceptable temperature with his own.
"Father O'Hara..."
Miguel's ears perked up upon you mentioning his name.
"It's Miguel."
He mumbled while drawing lazy circles on your lower back. The fire and the duvet had kept you toasty to curl even more towards him. Teeth no longer clattering.
"Thank you, Father."
"Stop."
His eyes rolled in annoyance, as his hands stopped caressing your skin to then rub his face.
"Stop calling me that."
"But that's your-"
"I don't like it."
He grumbled while looking down at you.
"Call me Miguel."
"I can't do that. Feels too disrespectful."
"I'm not Father O'Hara here, understood?"
You nodded
"Are you cold?"
"I am. Not as before but yes. Has it stopped raining?"
His own smell was making your mind a puddle, some of that fragrant incense remained etched on him.
"No. Just got worse."
You sighed while resting your head on his chest. Heartbeats a mellow lullaby.
"I'm sorry for all of this."
"You were cold and soaked." He pointed dully and bored.
The duvet was brought closer to your chest while staring at the flames. Fingers tracing a lazy and mindless pattern in his abdomen.
"I was picking up the last batch of harvest when rain poured on me."
Your toes curled in as a soft breeze flickered the fire and he tilted his head to watch you closer.
"Now I'll have to explain why there isn't enough corn."
"We'll go by. It's ok."
"Are my clothes ready yet?"
A snort that  would be translated into an 'Are you kidding me?', your brow furrowed.
"You'd be lucky if they get dry during the night."
Another defeated sigh. But a sudden thought however made your cheeks burn faintly.
"D-Did you see me naked?"
"No."
Oh.
There was a silent pause before you spoke again. Curiosity tempting.
"Have you seen other women naked?"
He huffed playfully while pushing your hair away from your lovely and sweet face.
"Yes. I was a regular man before all of this."
His fingers curled up in his hand, morphing into a lazy fist
"Do you miss it?"
"Would be a liar to say if I don't."
"You... You've had sex before?"
He chuckled while with an open palm, took a taste of your skin, deliberately roaming your lower back. You shuddered.
"I did. Plenty of times."
Your audible gasp made his eyes droop hazily in a smirking grimace.
"I was told it felt marvelous."
You looked up at him and he pulled your chin upwards, he really had to keep his restrain under a leash to not take you here and there, instead, he cupped your face and hovered his lips over yours
"Do you want me to teach you, Sister?"
He was the demon. The very same one that visited in your dreams and left you a soaked mess. A little too late you'd noticed that he wasn't wearing his vow ring. It was placed somewhere else you truly couldn't care less at the moment.
You only nodded.
"Use your words, dear"
"Please", you gulped, "Teach me."
It was in that moment that he sealed your lips with his. Your first kiss ever. Chaste and sweet at the beginning that slowly turned into this obscene display of his mouth assaulting yours with his tongue in between gentle licks and bites of his lips.
A shaky whine then a whimper escaped your throat upon feeling his hands skimming down your spine. He only let you go when you tapped out for air.
"How often am I on your mind, pequeña?"
Finally the demon in your dreams had turned into a reality. Eyes were closed, unable to look at yourself melting under his touch. Nipples perked against his chest.
Plump and hot lips caressed yours but they stopped. Hands pulled you upwards, Miguel turned you around so your back was now colliding with his chest.
"You're still cold."
Cheeks grew impossibly red while he slowly peeled off the duvet out of your body, leaving you bare before him. You gulped as he moved your hair to a side and slowly kissed up and down your neck.
His hands were unable to resist any more and cupped your mounds, like in your dream. Calloused palms, rough against soft breast.
"Qué maravilla. Is this how your dream goes?
Legs smothered together, a little strip of hair etched to your pubic mount. He hummed in appreciation to then part your legs above his. Cunt pulsing at the coolness of air brushing past it.
Both of your legs dangled ontop of his as you remained nested above. Your heart beat at the playful moves his middle and index finger pulled on your nipple as his free hand darted over the joint of your inner thighs. You could feel him trembling underneath, the restrain made his breath hitch.
Your own turned erratic once more as he slid three fingers in between your folds. A shy Ah escaped your lips while he used two of them to part the outer labia
"Look at that, little one. Is that what you touch when thinking of me?"
Drunk eyes darted between your legs and his skillful hand, the engorged and pearly clit peeked out as one of his fingers flickered slowly. Focusing the right amount of pressure in it that had your moans shaky. He paused to adjust his fingers as they caressed and rubbed as much flesh as they could.
Mouth etched to your ear. Deep and needy breaths fanned behind you
"So so pretty. Look at that"
He made a show of his fingers coating themselves in your slick. One of his digits hovered over your entrance, slowly it disappeared inside. A muffled groan echoed in the void space
A wet and shlicking sound came from his ministrations, head unable to move, too enraptured into watching him sliding in and out. Skin bloomed with a new wave of goosebumps as his tongue licked your neck and earlobe, rewarding you for taking one finger deliciously, that he licked up clean before going back to rub at your clit.
"Want to add another?"
A breathless and hissing yes.
You didn't know who was with you right now since Father O'Hara couldn't. Your brain still refused to believe they were the same man. One preached and talked mass every Sunday, the other had your head spinning while his fingers explored your insides with such gentleness it only increased your whimpers and need for something more and bigger within you.
"Does that feel good, Hm?"
A dumb nod while more escaped your mouth repeatedly
"More?"
"Please!"
How could he deny to such petition? Even most when you were gripping him so deliciously and pulsating with every stroke he delivered in, grazing at your sweetest spot.
"Like this?"
He increased the tempo and your breath hitched, hips moving to meet his fingers aiding them to reach deeper and deeper.
Breaths turned into short and shallow pants, blood rushed to your cheeks. One of his digits pushed past between your lips meeting your moist muscle that wasted no time into kissing it. All you could hear was yourself and your weeping pussy that demanded for more.
But they weren't enough. Brain was sent into an override when the climax washed over you. All the pent up need and lust drowned you. Strong pulsations dictated the contractions that trapped and milked Miguel's fingers. Mind split in two in a shattering and core shaking spasm.
Mouth gaped, eyes heady and drunk with blind hot pleasure, body convulsed while an array of mumbles and clumsy curses flew out of your mouth to finally end with a delicious quivering cry.
"It's okay, shh, it's okay, pequeña." He cooed you through it while kissing your neck. Heart pounding in your ears.
It took you a moment to breath properly. How could you have missed this? How could you remain so ignorant to this? Alienated from something you were often told it was dirty and condemning.
He had only touched in the right places and you were melting. But why stopping there? You knew he also wanted you, his hard on pressing over your lower back, begging to set free.
"M-More"
He shook his head with a proud smile
"Can't do that, preciosa"
A capricious whine came through your throat, "Why not?"
"Cause, as much as I'd love to take you until you recite the bible backwards to me, you know what could happen."
"You don't want me, then? Why stopping now?"
"Far from that. And we must be discreet. Wouldn't want you to be whipped by Sister Lianne."
He took your hand and kissed your wrist. While his other limb pulled you closer to him.
"I am the only one that shall leave marks on you, my dear. Is that clear?"
"Yes, but-" He took your chin in a gentle but firm grip.
"Is that clear?"
You nodded with a pout.
"Lay on the bed."
"What? "
"Lay on the bed, so I can taste you."
Miguel could fulfil that fantasy. With Bambi-like steps you pushed yourself up and walked over his bed. Plush surface welcomed your body under a creak.
"Spread them."
Toes curled up for a second before spreading them open. Clit already tingling with a foreign yet needy sensation.
He kneeled before you, like he did every day he worshipped the Lord. But this time it wasn't God, but you. Nose nuzzled over your inner thighs while taking a whiff of your scent. Tantalizing and so alluring for his own senses.
Slow and deliberate kisses were placed above your flesh, the strip of hair that decored your pussy, to finally sink in between soaked folds.
The mewl you gave only made him feast upon you. Hands grope the sheets by instinct as he spreaded you further.
His tongue lapped and curled at your hole, slurping it without refrain and inhibitions. Devouring it like it would be his last meal.
Your dream had felt too vivid, yes, but this was completely different. This was in a whole new different level. His corruption had tainted your soul and it was gladly welcomed into your arms.
Legs twitched and shook while your head was thrown back, chest heaved with shallow breaths, unable to breath properly as his tongue was set into fucking your drooling hole.
The way his tongue fucked, dribbled and guzzled your cunt had you mewling and moaning the filthiest things you didn't think possible you could get out.
Good was an understatement, heavenly was a measly word to compare what you felt like. It was maddening and he gave you no rest.
Have you ascended? No. He just wrapped your supple thighs around his head, preventing you from squirming too much, holding your hips in place as his sloshing and assailant mouth gave you no rest.
You hadn't recovered completely from the other orgasm when a new one had approached. Lurking around your senses.
His name was moaned, over and over and when your hands were done of clinging onto the sheets, you held onto his hair. Silky and smooth chocolate locks slid under your fingers.
Eyes peeked over you, and he had to pause for a moment to squeeze his cock. Aching and weeping for him to let him free and make you his. But that would come later.
That would come much later when he had more leisure time and when he'd get protection. As much as he wanted to wreck your snug cunt, he didn't want you to be whipped and shamed like another nun was when the higher ups found out she was pregnant by an outsider.
"Miguel"
His name on your lips rich and tasty, like him.
Your voice snapped him out of his trance to immediately go for your clit. Plump lips pursed and captured the engorged nub. While his hands pushed your legs up and folded them, giving a complete access to your pulsating pussy.
He slurped and souped while his tongue teased. Wet laps sent jolts through your spine each time he tasted you.
Too much. Too good and too soon, yet he didn't stop. He shook his head like a mad dog subduing it's prey and that move alone had you gushing over his mouth. He quickly gobbled it all down.
You whined, cried and blabbled, even tried to pull his head away but he delivered you a last stroke with his tongue to then lick his lips clean.
"Please"
You mumbled through blown breaths as he watched you with a lust blown glare.
What had he done out of you?
"Greed is a sin, my dear."
What had he created?
"But if you're good enough, the wait will be worth it."
His little lamb was so willing for him, aching to be tainted, corrupted even more. And his task was to banish such whims.
He'd given you a taste of what laid ahead. A promise of a much unholy reward if you followed this path with him. But your resolve had been made the first time you came.
He'd be your first and last. There wasn't any need for another to teach you what he was compliant to demonstrate.
You'd be his to fuck. His to tame and corrupt.
You'd be his.
---
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luveline · 10 months
Text
𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 | 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚
you comfort miguel when he lashes out after a memory —a ficlet featuring begrudgingly lovesick miguel and a flirty spider-girl. pre across the spider-verse but contains spoilers. requested here. fem!reader, 1.5k
cw implied ptsd and accidental rough handling
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Miguel can feel your heart-eyes on him. You're sitting behind him on the floor in his office, or, as you've fondly nick-named it this week, The Control Room, humming and making little origami flowers. 
So far you've made five, promising him without prompting a multi-coloured bouquet. He doesn't know why you've stopped (or why you started), but he doesn't have to turn around to confirm it. He can tell. You're shameless either way, proven when you say, "Hey, handsome?" 
He sighs with more annoyance than he feels. "What?"
"How'd you know I was talking to you?" you ask, with a laugh he loves and hates at once. Loves, because it's a really nice sound, and hates, because he knows how this goes. "I could've been talking to Margo." 
"She is handsome," Lyla chimes in. 
"Very much," you agree. 
Margo, alias Spider-Byte, looks up from her tablet screen to flash a smile. "Thanks, guys." 
"What did you want, then?" Miguel asks.
He's surrounded by girls who live to annoy him —they all laugh as though they know something he doesn't, and when he turns to glare at them they laugh more. Lyla zips out of his eyeline, disappearing from view with a sympathetic, "He's dumber than he looks." 
"Hurtful," Miguel says, turning back to his screen. "Why do I bother?" 
You stand up with your bundle of paper flowers crinkling in your hands and approach him. You're of normal height, while Miguel is of 'ridiculous' height (your word choice), and so you have trouble looking him in the eye when you stand close. You have more trouble keeping your distance, craning your neck all the way up with your rubber capped shoes to his spidersuit ones. 
"Can you lean down a bit, please?" you ask. 
Margo laughs, “Oh, here we go.”
Miguel has trouble saying no to you. And by trouble, he means he finds it impossible, and he hasn't done it in a while. He leans down very slightly, worried you're going to try and kiss him in front of the others. He's kissed you already (which he hates himself for, what a stupid thing to do) (but was a good kiss, as things go, your lips soft under his, his ardency undulating in the face of your little gasping sound when he'd bitten your lip, when he'd grasped at your side like you were slipping through his fingers), and you've kissed him. But never in front of other people.
Which isn't to say they don't know. Everyone definitely knows. They're just too scared or too kind to say. Or, like Lyla or Margo, they find it funny. 
Now in reach, you lift an origami flower to his ear and attempt to prop it there. He has a flash of a memory, a small hand by his face, the summer sun on his neck, and he can't deal with it. He grabs your wrist and pushes it away from him. 
Your eyes widen. You're not unused to his bad moods, but Miguel doesn't grab.
You look back, and he thinks it's because you're scared, and he wishes he could take it back straight away, but you're looking for Margo and Lyla. When you see they aren't there, you take his face into your empty hand and ask, "What's wrong?" 
Miguel doesn't answer. He doesn't know what to say. Sorry would be a good start, but his mouth is dry. He frowns down at you.
"I didn't mean to overstep," you say, uncharacteristically serious. 
"I didn't mean to grab you," he says. 
"I know. It wasn't so aggressive, anyways. I'm genetically enhanced, you know?" Your smile creases the delicate skin at the corners of your eyes. "I'll make you something else. A fan, for the heat, or a jumping frog." 
You turn and take a step away. Again, Miguel reaches for you, but when he takes your wrist this time it's with the kindness you deserve.
"I'm sorry, cariño," he says. 
He’s embarrassed for having pushed you away, even if he couldn’t control himself. All you were trying to do no doubt was make him happy. It's usually your main prerogative besides winding him up, and he can't find any ill will in a paper flower. 
"Cariño," you quote in a murmur. It doesn't take a second for you to return to your smiley, loving self. "That's definitely something nice." 
"It's affectionate." He doesn't explain more than that. 
You force your hand into his, twirling inward like a half-hearted dance. "I can tell," you say giddily, dropping your cheek into his chest. 
He rubs the back of your hand. Sorry, sorry, it says, each pass of his thumb against your skin. 
"Miguel," you say, in the lilting cadence of a girl with a favour to ask, "now you've ragged me around–" 
"Not what happened–" 
"–I was thinking maybe I could do something to you." You smile cheekily around your words. 
He sweeps his gaze across the office to make sure there's no one here with you both, or about to be. Complicated you may be, but Miguel knows you well. Better than he should. He spent a long time denying his feelings for you, aggrieved and guilty, and a longer amount of time resenting you for being so damned enchanting. Which wasn't your fault in reality —you're a weird creature, and you can be a little off-putting; it's Miguel's problem alone that he wants you as badly as he does. To feel your neat, teasing smirk under his lips. To have the line of your jaw against his hand as you whisper flirtation or laugh at your own awful jokes. 
To take your hip into his grasp and squeeze. 
There have been times where Miguel wanted to press you up against a wall and kiss you into silence, quieten your taunting teasing with a bite to match his bark. And there have been times where he wanted to rub the tense line between your shoulders, having caught you in a vulnerable moment, and promise that things will be better. 
He isn't making any more promises, not in this life, but he thinks that someone like you, who tries too hard to make people happy and sometimes wears two masks at once deserves to do whatever it is they want to do to people like him.
"Okay," he says quietly. His voice is rough as hewn stone. 
You have a pocket full of paper stars that crunch as you lean in. "I'm gonna kiss you, if you promise not not to freak out. Is that cool?" 
Okay, you deserve some softness, but Miguel would rather lead. Your hand falls to his chest, and his hands find your face. His fingers behind your ears, his thumbs aligned with your smile, he squeezes your cheeks in his hold gently, tilting your chin up, and up. The column of your throat is bared and begging to be scandalised. He can imagine it, the bruising his lips would leave behind like crescent moons and the pinprick crimson stars from his needling fangs if he were to only press down. 
"We'll compromise. I'll kiss you, and you'll let me apologise again." 
"I don't need you to say sorry again," you say softly. 
"Then I won't say it." 
The implication has heat rising to your cheeks. Your hand grabs uselessly at his suit as you close your eyes, and Miguel knows his cue. He leans down and kisses you, tender but a little rough, your lips soft and warm and eager as he encourages your head to one side. It feels like you try to say something but you don't move back, and so he doesn't either, kissing and kissing and kissing until he's sure he'll remember how it feel tonight, hours from now, when he's staring at a screen wishing you were haunting his office rather than in a doze in the girl's dormitory. 
"Miguel," you say, practically into his mouth. This time he pulls away, and you take a small step back so you don't have to crane your neck. "I, uh…" 
Miguel wipes the sheen from your bottom lip, not not listening but certainly not giving his full attention. He's hoping you'll let him kiss you again.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the flower," you say. 
His eyes lifted to yours. "It's not that. It's not you. Don't waste any time thinking about it, okay?" 
He pinches your chin between his forefinger and his thumb. You hold his eyes for a moment. 
"I don't really think," you say bashfully, wrapping your arms around his waist and giving him a hug he doesn't have time to reciprocate. 
"You think," he says, blinking as you retreat from him completely, waltzing back to your origami station on the floor. Your hips don't sway, but there's a movement to them he tracks. 
"About you, handsome? All the time." 
Miguel groans and turns back to his screens. Lyla appears silently, and sticks a finger into her mouth in a mock gag. 
"That's in poor taste," he says. 
"I would like to hand in my resignation." 
"You can't resign, Lyla. You're a hologram." 
She pushes her heart-shaped sunglasses up her nose and blinks out of view, refusing to speak to Miguel for the rest of the day outside of official Society business, and even then she's cranky. You fill the void of conversation with a mixture of nonsensical and merited suggestions, and by the time you leave for the night, his desk is decorated by a rainbow menagerie of paper animals, each one made with care. 
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed! please consider reblogging if you have the time! <;3 if you have a request of this pairing or other miguel fics and want to share, im eager to see them!
my other miguel fics
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queers-gambit · 1 month
Text
Silence
prompt: ( requested ) anxiety plays tricks on your mind, making you mistake your boyfriend's stress for anger - at you.
pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
word count: 2.5k+
note: it's short but to the point.
warnings: cursing, hurt and comfort, depiction of mental health: anxiety, slight self-destructive thoughts.
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Silence could be a good thing.
Libraries were silent for ample focus. Theaters were silent during the showing. Sometimes, long drives were peacefully silent.
Silence could also be a bad thing.
Demanding an explanation and the silence stretches. The silence before a doctor delivers life-changing news. Asking someone if they're okay and they don't answer.
When your boyfriend, Carmy, had returned from work that evening, he slammed the front door, dropped his backpack, toed out of his shoes, and stormed around the apartment silently. He didn't greet you, didn't offer a kiss, nothing - just breezed past you as if a pile of dirty laundry he's ignored for the past two weeks. You watched him from the kitchen, sipping a glass of wine, worry sprouting in your gut and chest. It was obvious something was bothering him - but couldn't fathom what it was that made him ignore you; to make him not look at you one single time.
It was like you weren't even there with the way he projected his moodiness. Even on his worst days, he always always always greeted you with a kiss; but the lack of affection hallowed your chest into a pit, wondering what you had done to make him avoid you.
Suddenly, the silence was eerily deafening, coiling your stomach and pumping lead through your veins; no TV or radio switched on to fill the void and create passive, background audio. Carmy was obviously upset about something, but the fact that he didn't even look at you made you think he didn't want to talk. This worried you because before dating, you and Camry Berzatto were the best of friends; talking about literally any and everything you could think of. He came to you with every single grievance, every frustration, every slice of drama - so why wouldn't he now?
Unless... Unless you were the cause of his annoyance? The idea made the pit in your chest stretch to your gut - anxiety rapidly spreading, confusion warping rational thought into something darker and self deprecating. The idea of upsetting Carmy - or anyone, for that matter - was enough to bubble nausea and turn your skin clammy. Muscles tensed, eyes darted, and your mind was plagued with every single thing you had said or done in the past 16 hours.
However, your memory couldn't pinpoint any moment you could've upset him; things had been normal and easy-going lately, there being no clear indication you were the culprit of Carmy's anger. However, there didn't need to be anything clear because your mind was fully convinced you were the bad guy now.
After swallowing a gulp of wine, your eyes adverted to give him privacy and begin on dinner; being obvious that his phone was much more important than you right now. Unfortunately, when it came to picking which sauce to dress your meal with, you were forced to slowly enter the living room where your boyfriend had taken refuge.
"Hey, baby?"
"Hmm?"
You tried not to be offended by his lack of verbal acknowledgement, but your intestines flipped and grew heavy. "Uh, just wondering, you want the marinara or Alfredo tonight with the - "
"Doesn't matter, you choose."
"I mean, which would you prefer?"
"I just said it didn't matter," he repeated with a hardening tone, "it's not like it's a difficult decision to make."
You didn't want to make his attitude worse, so you backed off silently and returned to your task. Yes, yes, Carmy was the professional cook between you but that didn't mean he wanted to come home and continue the act. So, you learned a few new recipes to keep meals interesting - a feat your boyfriend didn't seem to appreciate or even recognize most days. Tonight especially.
Tension tangibly filled the apartment the longer the silence stretched. Your mind conjured a hundred questions at once, begging your mouth to run rapidly if it meant getting answers - yet your logic stuck the words in your throat, refusing to let them fly, and even shoving them deep down for your soul to hold.
You poured a second glass of wine, throat thickening with silent emotion. There was always the worry in the back of your mind that Carmy would one day realize you didn't fit into his life and would break up with you. Or that perhaps, his irritation tonight wasn't due to anything you did specifically, but instead, was attested to your normal behavior and quirks - like the want to talk throughout the day.
Blinking the moisture away, you remembered Carmy hadn't answered a single one of your texts the entire day - a normal act for you, but maybe one that now got on your boyfriend's nerves. You dished up dinner, standing in the open kitchen with two plates and feeling silly for the nerves prickling your skin. You barely noticed the slight tremor in your hands. "Dinner's ready, Carm," you alerted, leaving the plates on the kitchen island you normally ate at; distracted by the need to pour a glass of water.
When you turned, your heart stalled in your chest when you noticed his plate missing - locating him in the living room, again, and it being obvious he didn't intend to eat with you. Now you knew for sure, you had indeed done something. So, you gingerly took a seat and tried to take up as little space as possible; shying in on yourself, eating silently and quickly so you could do the dishes right after.
Sure, there was usually the rule that the cook didn't clean, but there was no way you were gonna ask Carmy to do the simple chore; afraid of pushing him over whatever edge he teetered at. After storing any leftovers, you started the dishwasher and retreated to your bedroom with another glass of wine and the intention to get a bath. You felt like a glaring inconvenience all of a sudden, regret inking your blood and reprimanding yourself for being so - so - so... Clingy?
Is that what it was? Did Carmy think you were clingy? Perhaps texting him throughout the day without him ever answering was the final straw of annoyance he felt toppled the haystack. You wanted to apologize and eliminate the tension, but couldn't necessarily understand what you were sorry for; thinking you were simply paying attention to him, being attentive and interested in his everyday life.
Maybe you needed to apologize for being suffocating? Was that it? Your love was suffocating him? Was he feeling pressured by you? Did he think you two too comfortable in this relationship? Was your wall of texts an indication you were more serious than he? Oh, God, was that it - did Carmy think you were getting too serious, too fast?
Granted it'd been a few years of dating, a lifetime of friendship before that - so how much more serious could you get? Why would your attempts of communication rub him the wrong way? How could the pair of you ever manage to fall off from the same page? Make him think you were pushing for something more? Didn't he know he was enough for you? Didn't he appreciate your presence? The want to be closer? Your desire to maintain the friendship your relationship was built off of? The appreciation you had for him? The support you wanted to offer?
You soaked in epsom salt for the better part of half an hour. Draining the tub, drying off, and changing into pajamas were done silently; feeling almost fearful to venture out of the bedroom to return your wine glass to the sink.
So you decided to just get in bed, figuring if Carmy was so angry at you that it resulted in him ignoring you, he wouldn't want to sleep beside you, either. With your thick framed glasses on, you nestled into bed with your newest novel, trying not to let your mind go into overdrive as your need to fix whatever was upsetting Carmy was overwhelming. Yet there was also the nagging idea that trying to fix whatever was 'broken' would've made things worse - again, resulting in you doing nothing and giving Carmy his space.
The silence haunted the apartment like a ghostly presence; leering over your heads, embracing you uncomfortably.
When the bedroom door opened, you masked your surprise and just read the same paragraph three times in a row - distracted by your boyfriend milling around, preparing for bed. Your eyes widened in shock when the bed dipped and shifted, jostling you as Carmy got into bed beside you, but you still didn't look up from your book.
"What're you reading, sweetheart?"
His mood swings often gave you whiplash. You glanced at Carmy, finger holding your place to let you fold the book over and present the title on the cover. You worried that anything you said and did could make this tension fester, so, you remained silent and went back to reading.
"Is it any good?" He pondered, watching your profile. You nodded mutely, lips slowly rolling between your teeth in a show of anxiety Carmy could now recognize. "Hey, hey, you all right, babe?" He asked softly, sounding mildly confused - perhaps even alarmed.
"Yeah, 'course," you mumbled.
"Well, how was work?"
"Fine."
"You sure?"
"Mhm."
There was a brief pause, then Carmy gently pried, "C'mon, baby, what's wrong? Why're you so quiet?" He chuckled gently, "Usually so talkative in the evenings."
You offered him a bewildered look with slightly pinched brows, swallowing nervously and slowly shutting your book to trace the spine mindlessly in an effort to distract yourself. Typically when anxious, your hands needed stimulation, something tangible to do and feel when your mind numbed with nervousness.
With a great deal of bravery, more than you thought was necessary to muster when talking to the person you love, you asked softly, "Are you mad at me, Carm? I mean, did I do something? T-To upset you?"
"Wait, what?" He asked in confusion. "Nah, baby, you didn't do anything, why would you even ask?"
"'Cause you've been ignoring me...?"
He scoffed, "Ah, 'cause I didn't answer your texts?"
"That, and you've been ignoring me in favor of your phone since you got home. Slamming doors, brooding in the living room, didn't eat dinner with me - got a little snappy when I asked what sauce for dinner? Feels like I did something but I don't know what, so I don't know how to fix this."
Carmy sighed, leaning back to the mound of soft and fluffed pillows you had stacked on your shared bed. "Shit," he breathed, huffing a dramatic sigh, "didn't even realize I was doin' all that, baby."
"If you're mad, just tell me what I did - "
"No, no, hey, hey, hey, hey," he rushed, turning on his side to look at you, elbow supporting his weight; clocking the glassiness coating your eyes. "You didn't do anything, baby, I swear. There's nothing for you to fix 'cause you didn't do nothin'. I just - I've been havin' a shit day, didn't realize I was bein' mean to you let alone that you'd take it to heart."
"Kinda hard not to when I'm the only one here."
"No, right, I get that," he sighed. "I'm sorry, baby, I know you get anxious when I shut down like that, but I promise, I'm not mad at you."
"Well, who else would you be mad at? I thought you were annoyed 'cause I was texting you all day. Thought I was, I don't know, being clingy or something since you didn't answer me."
Carmen frowned, "Sweetheart, no, hang on, listen to me. You didn't do anything to upset me, okay? I didn't answer you 'cause I dropped my phone in the sink and it got all glitchy, I couldn't answer you. I tried to fix it when I got home, but I think I fried it - should just get a new one. It was just one of those days that everything went to shit, it all built up, got the better of me."
You nodded, still looking dejected and making a shot of guilt plunge his heart. "You usually talk to me when you're upset," you pointed out softly, "and when you didn't say anything, I thought I was the reason you were upset. Figured you wouldn't talk to me if I did something to cause your attitude."
"No, hey, I'm sorry, c'mere, baby," he opened his arms and curled them around you when you shuffled into his chest. "Shit, I'm really sorry, I didn't even realize what I was doing - but Goddamnit, that's no excuse, though. I don't mean t'take my shit out on you, you don't deserve that."
"I just got a little nervous, maybe let my anxiety get the better of me."
"That's okay," he promised, kissing your forehead, "I can understand why. I was a dickhead, being snappy and ignoring you when all you do is support and love me. I'm real sorry, sweetheart," he sighed against your skin, tightening his arms to keep you cocooned in his warmth. "You know, you can always talk to me - don't gotta shut yourself down and avoid me."
"Do you even hear yourself? Should take your own advice."
"Yeah, I should," he smirked. "Hey, promise I'll do better not to shut down like that."
You nodded in acceptance, wondering softly, "Do you wanna talk about it? Whatever happened today?"
"Uh, nah, you know what? Think I owe you some cuddles, maybe a dessert? You know, to make up for my bullshit attitude."
"You don't have to - "
"I got you all worked up, feels like the least I can do."
With a hum, you smirked, "I won't say no to a slice of cheesecake."
"What baby wants, she gets," he grinned, a hand caressing your cheek to direct your eyes up to his. His thumb swept back and forth under your eye, "Still sorry about today. I didn't mean to be such an oblivious dickhead, I swear."
You nodded, "I know, baby. Just don't shut me out next time. Had me worried when you didn't even kiss me when you got home."
"A heinous crime on my part," Carmy smirked. "Should I remedy that?"
"I'd be offended if you didn't."
He chuckled and pressed his lips to yours in a soothing kiss, hand sliding to the back of your neck. It was a slow and languid kiss, something he took his time in engaging; lips sticking together, moving in-sync, creating chains of saliva when he pushed his tongue against yours. "Yeah," he mumbled, "I'm the dumb fuck who had you thinkin' I didn't want this from you." He pressed another kiss to your waiting lips, "You're intoxicating, baby - always want your kisses. Yeah? Always. The day I don't, take me out back like Old Yeller."
You wanted to voice that he wanted your kisses now until one day, he simply wouldn't - but refrained from doing so because you knew it was just anxiety talking. So, instead, you chuckled at his comment and leaned in to initiate your own kiss.
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requesting rules and masterlist
FX's The Bear masterlist
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kishibei · 1 year
Text
GUYS MY AGE ...
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dilf! toji x reader | smut, 18+ | 1.6k words
summary: toji loves everything about his younger girlfriend, all except the overly friendly relationship she has with his son. to curb his unspoken fear of losing you, you fuck him.
cont: jealousy, possessive language, affectionate toji, missionary, mating press, no resolution, creampie per usual
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Toji loved your body; he could never fight that little nagging thought sitting in the back of his mind— the one telling him to touch you.
Your boyfriend's hands were strong, holding a roughness that was tender in its own right— the honest pads of his fingers hardened from years of dirty work.
His fingerprints were practically committed to your memory, each one just a little different from the next. Uneven swirls and ridges winded into each other; tips tacked with scars and deeper indentations from his gunslinging days.
You could feel them all when he walked his hands down your body; even more so when he had you spread open across his thighs, teasing you with just a couple of fingers.
...
Toji appreciated the softer parts of you and paid more attention to them. Your chest, your ass, and the slight pinch of your cheeks constantly reminded him of your youth compared to his— a youth that appeared long gone when you'd met his gaze now; thin black eyes adorned with crow's feet.
His eyes held a vision that was faraway, a distant kind of look he'd always given when he was upset about something. That stoney face he wore never failed to betray his emotions, bearing them on his sleeves despite his best efforts at swallowing them down. There was only one thing that could've been bothering Toji; the same thing that had been eating him up for weeks— his irrational fear of losing you.
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Toji really had nothing to worry about when it came to keeping you to himself. You were a one man kind of girl, ignoring the advances of any others who set their sights on you. He often scorned your younger peers, making fun of them without second thought, especially taking joy in tormenting the very man who introduced you to himself: his own son.
...
His first and only, Megumi was beyond fit. Clever, agile, and full of much more life than he was; Megumi was the spitting image of Toji in his younger years. Their striking resemblance was never quite something he saw as a bad thing, at least not until he began to date you.
It was the spoils of his own labor he envied— so much younger and almost perfect for you.
With the kind of drive that came with youth, Megumi easily had a long list of goals he fought fiercely to achieve; ones that he was never really shy to let you know of. He was shameless in this right, not even trying to hide his willingness to impress you in front of his father.
Toji would have been an idiot to not notice his son's infatuation with you. Only a fool would've choosen to ignore the longing glances, the lingering hugs, how the younger man always managed to look away whenever his father kissed you.
At times your boyfriend wondered if you’d prefer someone who wasn't this much your senior, mumbling his insecurities into your chest when he thought you’d already fallen asleep at night.
You had loved him just as much as he did you; your heart swelling with an appreciation for all things Toji. So here in his lap, you humor him; giving him a small reminder of just who you belonged to.
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The man had softened up over the years but his strength still remained, thick corded muscle staying firm beneath the thinning skin he had cursed so much.
You hardly blinked; watching intently as he fingered the hem of the shirt he was wearing, peeling it off slowly to expose his muscular chest. His pecs were adorned with light blue branches of veins that shone through his patinaed skin.
Despite how perfect, almost god-like he appeared in this moment, the sight reminded you of his humanity.
You're not sure of what exactly he did before he settled down with you, how many people he’d really killed, or the curses that followed him in his lifetime; but it was a reminder that blood still ran thick in those veins of his, and that they sustained the heart that bled only for you.
“I love you…” he whispered, the sudden confession making you laugh. A giggle bubbled up in your throat before bursting forth into the air, a sound reminiscent of wind chimes escaping your lips. It was an infectious thing, lifting the corners of Toji’s lips to form a gentle arc that stretched from cheek to cheek.
He's impatient when he tugs your jeans off, not even bothering to remove his as he opens his fly just enough to pull his heavy cock out. You know he’s hard despite the fact it barely stands erect, his leaky head bowing under the weight of the rest of him.
You can't help but lick your lips as you stare down at it, eyes already lidded with hazy vision as he grips onto the base, slipping into you without much of a fight.
A shaky breath leaves Toji's lips as he settles in, hissing at how your hole flutters, already clamping down on him.
"Shit..” he sibilates, “so fuckin’ wet for me…”
The words seem to go straight to your pussy as you clench around him, whining a bit from the praise and the mind-numbing feeling of him sinking into you.
He’s so big, he knows he is. Toji’s fully aware of how he fills you to the brim, how deep he reaches, practically prodding at your cervix as he lowers you down on him. He’s teeming with confidence now, pressing down on your tummy to show you just where he’s sure the tip of his length reaches.
“Mm, you feel that, baby?”
You blink slowly, trying to clear your head enough to find the words to respond. Pushing past little whimpers, you stumble over all the syllables you need. Deciding it's best to give up on speaking, you nod profusely, craning your neck to rest your head on his shoulder. Upon revealing your stupefied expression to him, he laughs like he always does; a low rumble that just drips in arrogance as it falls from his lips.
“That’s all me…” he purrs, deft fingers slowly caressing the rest of your body, stopping to squeeze at your soft chest.
His unyielding touch moves down to your legs; strong hands finding purchase on the back of your thighs as he practically folds you in half, pressing your thighs to your chest like nothing.
It's so much, and you can feel him even deeper now, every inch of him plunging into you at a disconcerting pace. You squeal as he pounds into you sloppily, pressing messy kisses to your cheeks, the tops of your ears, down the expanse of your neck, and just about every bit of skin he can get his lips on from this angle.
He loves you, this you know. And even if he hadn't said it earlier, the way he’s fucking you says it all.
“Ooohh, shit Toji!” you sputter, eagerly bouncing on the man’s lap as you try to match his thrusts. Your body shakes with the force of each pump, moaning wantonly as he slowly drags his cock out of you, ramming it back in your dripping hole again and again.
You seem to be growing dumber by the second, incoherent babbles and whines leaving your lips as he fucks the shit out of you. If you could focus on one thing, you would; but your eyes shift everywhere, rolling into the back of your head before meeting with the place where your bodies connected, watching in a trance as Toji’s thick cock disappears into your sopping wet cunt.
Toji grunts, his hips bucking wildly as he clings to you tightly, your back against his broad chest as he uses the force of his pounding to bounce you on even harder than before. He grits through his teeth, eyes shutting hard before they open again, his lips at your ears as a string of expletives leave them.
“Fuckin’ hell, ease up, you’re squeezin’ me…” he strained, jaw clenched so tightly that it looked like it might just break.
Toji looked like he was reeling, so close to the edge but still holding on, trying to push you over yours before letting himself go.
“Fuck…whose pussy is this?" he panted, chewing on his bottom lip as he tried keeping his pace, his hips stuttering as he got closer to finishing now.
You couldn’t answer, mouth preoccupied with moan after the next as you tried anyways, babbling at him like an idiot.
“Mmngh! Y-yours! Yours, right?!"
It was difficult to even answer him straight, just saying anything, you jumbled up the first few words that floated into your hazy mind.
Toji laughed, taking in a shaky breath as he kept going, pulling your legs back even further as he slammed into you with a force that was overwhelming.
"Mine… all fuckin’ mine, you hear?!"
His pace was grueling and you were surely at your limit, crystalline tears pricking the corners of your eyes as he fucked you. Your skin felt like it was on fire, a deep familiar knot in the pit of your stomach just threatening to break.
“I hear! Hear you, Toji!" you yelped, mouth hung open in a perpetual 'O' as you teetered over the edge, right at the cusp of your orgasm.
“I can't! Can’t take any more, please!"
Toji amused you with a crooked grin, using his rough fingers to circle your puffy clit, the extra stimulation giving you just what you needed. You came with a cry, electricity coursing through your veins as you moaned wantonly, gushing around him with a shudder.
The force of your orgasm sent Toji straight into his own, groaning loudly as he emptied himself inside you, filling you to the brim with thick spurts of cum.
He huffed, chest heaving as he kissed you messily, slotting his tongue into your mouth just before he pulled away to speak.
“You’re so good… but just for me, yea?"
He pressed his lips against yours again and the corners of your mouth turned up in a satisfied smile, loving when he got like this. Toji grew soft, cuddling up to you as he slipped out of your cunt, a runny mix of both his and your fluids dripping onto his lap.
“Only for me…”
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©2023 KISHIBEI do not repost, modify, distrib. or translate.
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