#PLAYING GUILTY AS SIN? RN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mayariviolet · 3 months

Text

AOT Men That Are Hozier-coded.

ft. Armin and Jean.

summary: Horny and pathetic. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO YOU.

cw: slightly suggestive themes under the cut. religious guilt, specifically Catholic or Christian beliefs… obviously (y’all know me atp).

a/n: Someone who can write smut comfortably please write an armin x reader OR jean x reader fic to the tune of:

‘Take me to Church’ and ‘It Will Come Back,’ by Mr. Andrew Hozier Byrne. PLEASE

THEY ARE SO HOZIER CODED! I’m just rambling rn because I think I’m ovulating falling in love with them again. Maybe I will turn this into a series where I associate artists with certain characters… I don’t know.

✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖°. ✧˖°.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ✧˖

“My church offers no absolutes

She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom"

The only Heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

I was born sick, but I love it

Command me to be well.”

LIKE TELL ME THATS NOT ARMIN… HE WOULD SO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT WANTING SOMEONE SO BADLY THAT ITS BORDERLINE SINFUL. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY HE WOULDN’T CARE!

HE WANTS TO BE RALLIED AND HELD TO A HIGH STANDARD OR JUDGED BY SOMEONE HE REVERES, BC HE WANTS TO BE CHALLENGED. LORD HAVE MERCY. HE WOULD BE THE KIND OF DUDE TO HAVE IMPROMPTU RELATIONS IN A CONFESSIONAL. SURE HE WOULD FEEL GUILTY, BUT IT WOULD BE SO GOOD IN THE MOMENT! HE WOULD PROBABLY THINK HE FOUND SALVATION WITH YOU UNDERNEATH HIM. Impromptu, ‘Wrong use of a rosary.’

He probably sang in the choir or played the piano and just decided to drag you to church one day. Not in a:

‘I’m going to convert you’-way.

More like,

‘Look at this thing I’m proud of!’-way.

══════════════════

“Don't let it in with no intention to keep it

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it

Honey, don't feed it, it will come back.”

THIS IS SO JEAN BC THIS BOY IS A MUNCH!!!

I AM TIRED OF PRETENDING HE ISN’T.

He is so pathetic in a way that is just so satisfying for both of you. THIS MAN LOVES YOU IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORLD AND IS SO ANNOYING ABOUT IT. ESPECIALLY AT THE END OF THE SONG WHEN HOZIER SAID

“Don’t you hear me howling babe?”

HE IS CALLING FOR YOU! AGHHH!

If ever he got in a fwb type of situation I feel like Jean would jokingly say,

“Don’t fall in love with me.” and you’d be like, “Okay? I wasn’t planning to…”

BUT THEN HE WOULD BE ALL POUTY AND TAKE IT ALL BACK WITH SOMETHING LIKE,

“Wait no I lied please fall in love with me-”

So when you do finally fall in love it’s kind of a:

“Last chance to back out because once we do this with emotion, there’s no turning back.”

MORE OF A WARNING FOR YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES SO DEEPLY.

Jean would not be one to go to Church because he doesn’t believe in God or a higher power. He’s open to discussing it, though, especially if you are. But if he could choose to worship something or dedicate his life to it would be YOU.

══════════════════

(Me after writing this…)

a/n: I have no idea why I’m so feral lately. Nor, why I keep writing head canons at like three am… I’m gonna finish editing the first chapter of my Geto fic tomorrow. Hopefully upload it by Saturday!

I should also clarify that I was literally raised Catholic.

══════════════════

62 notes · View notes

anatrik · 27 days

Text

First thoughts TTPD:

What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!

1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10

2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?

3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10

4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺

5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂

6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.

7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.

8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever

9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.

12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.

13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.

14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?

15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10

16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.

17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10

18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10

19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10

20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10

21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10

22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10

23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10

24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10

25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.

26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷‍♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10

27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10

28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss

29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.

30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10

31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.

21 notes · View notes

daemon-in-my-head · 26 days

Text

OC profile: Ellifain

Got tagged by @wafflerageface (ty 💕), @sakurainhellagain @asteriasfallingstarsandtears @kawareo have fun if y'all want, or those that want to do this feel tagged rn

Basics

Full name: Yeah, about that, do you want the alias, the name he went with mainly or the true name? I might've gone overboard here. Ellifain is an alias he uses cuz reasons, the name he's registered as a citizen with and the one his family gave him would be Fionnlagh Starym, there's a whole ass backstory about his name, why he isn't using it, if he ever uses it again etc but too much for here. Feel free to ask though. Oh but, Gortash kinda knows his name? Listen y'all it's complicated. I like it when they suffer.

Gender: Male but is too busy having an identity crisis to care for it

Sexuality: aspec

Pronouns: he/him/they, doesn't really care for the same reason as above though

Other

Father: biological; Bhaal, adopted; Anfalen Starym

Mother: biological; Bhaal(?), adopted; Saelihn Starym

Siblings: biological; Sarevok Anchev, adopted; Elanil Starym. Orin is just a niece, she's not Bhaals kid (though he does treat her like a sister)

Birthplace: praise the vague canon, I suppose he was created in Gehenna before Bhaal dropped him like a hot stone in the Gate

Job: Cult leader

Phobias: being viewed as Faithless or False, the cold

Guilty Pleasures: 'artistic' worship, dancing, sitting in the sun like a lizard, playing with Cadis

Alignment: neutral evil with chaotic tendencies

Sins: vivisections, murder, extortion, blackmail, skipping the fine prints, skipping work, arrogance, do you need the whole list or does this suffice?

Virtues: protectiveness (he's really not a good guy)

This or That

Introvert/Extrovert: Extroverted introvert(?), prefers to keep to himself or his small group of people he does not hate, but can be charming and extroverted in a rather manipulative fashion if duties require

Organized/Disorganized: Organized, not thanks to Scels help

Close-Minded/Open-Minded: Very open-minded, for better or worse. Please stop eating people that's not a balanced diet.

Calm/Anxious/Restless: Restless, can't sit still for 5 minutes. Needs to fiddle with something if he's not occupied

Disagreeable/Agreeable/In-Between: In-Between, will hear you out but if he considers your idea to be foolish he will call you out and become incredibly stubborn about it

Cautious/Reckless: Reckless. Does not give a damn as long as only he's involved, if others could be put into unfortunate situations however he'll reconsider and be somewhat careful. If he likes them that is

Patient/Impatient/In between: Patient, he'll get what he wants eventually, one way or another

Outspoken/Reserved/In between: Reserved, he will not talk or say more than he has to in order to convey his point. Local tyrants hate this trick.

Leader/Follower/Flexible: Flexible but prefers to lead

Empathetic/Unempethic/In between: In between, tries his best to be empathic but some things he simply can't comprehend or refuses to cuz of his own past

Traditional/Modern/In between: In between, mainly traditional but isn't afraid of introducing new things to the cult or his life

Hard working/Lazy: Hard working, solely cuz he avoids sleep and can't sit still for 5 minutes. Lounging is his archenemy

Relationships

OTP: Gortash. Duh. Though things happened with a certain Drow in between

BrOTP: Astarion, platonic murder worsties, finally an elf that doesn't look at his appearance with disdain cuz they're the same in that regard. Lae'zel is cool too, they could share beautiful moments of identity crisis together

NOTP: Shadowheart, she's a constant painful reminder of the memories he's lost, oddly enough something he'd rather forget (his whole stick is running from uncomfortable truths lol) edit; also he has that whole Sehanine and moon bit going on so Shart thought he's a selunite, didn't go well for either of them lmao

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #dark urge #durge #bg3 durge #bg3 gortash #oc: ellifain #durge oc #durge spoilers

11 notes · View notes

nixnephili · 2 years

Text

Just Fyodor notes:

Fyodor juggles between 2 seemingly conflicting things at the same time.

-he belives all abilities are sin/ he is an ability user himself

-What he loses from psychologically juggling this truth and this belief is his ability to tolerate ambivalence (the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.) and allow himself to sit with a sense of gray.

He doesn't have to either ignore his destructive ability or label said ability as the core problem. His ability isn't always going to be the problem that affects his life, as his ability is indeed a very drastic one. Most of the time we see Fyodor, his actions have nothing to do with his ability (which is supposedly the sin) but it is very much his own fault he behaves and lives the way he does. Of course to the normal person this is a severely problematic life- Fyodor avoids his emotional shortcomings by making a fictional ideal/ role for him to follow or play. This delusion is his own coping mechanism to avoid having to face his repressed thoughts and feelings, his emotions and ability- related trauma.

He copes by distracting himself with made up goals, ambitions, beliefs and motives.

There is maybe a middle ground between hating his ability and carrying himself just as the product of his murderous ability.

Fyodor struggles to reason like that, it's too ambiguous for him. It's easier to think in black and white than it is in shades of gray.

This is made clear quite often, he cannot compromise. He doesn't know how..

Karma is the absolute best example of this, I think.

Fyodor follows his coping mechanism to the point that he ignores what is outside of it. Karma was outside of it.

Karma was neither an ability user nor was he generally guilty, as he was just a child fallen victim to an ability.

This was where Fyodor's mind found no middle ground. No compromise where he spares Karma and takes the boy with him, for example.

Black/ Gray / White = he kills Karma/ he spares Karma BUT takes him in/ he spares Karma and lets him be free.

Unfortunately so Fyodor had to cover up all the information he had just given the boy, so instead of finding the grey space in the middle- he reverted to Black. More often than not it is within our coping mechanism where we feel safe. Even if it is destructive.

So he kills Karma, a testament to his avoidance, noticeable in most killers = in order to avoid responsibility, emotional attachment, consequence, avoid thinking about it.

-Fyodor might also use his religious delusion and God complex in BSD to separate himself from the thing that brought him negative emotions and no doubt a lot of hurt in the past.

It's his unhealthy way of coping with how he is part of the thing that hurt him in the past, he cannot emotionally manage that so he cuts himself off from ability users by claiming himself to be higher - this is where narcissism comes in. A deep need to be above his demons (abilities/ ability users) maybe?

Or maybe he's just insane and I'm giving him too much credit here lol

This is all just me blabbering don't take it too seriously idk-

I'm in a bad mental state rn, that's why I got to writing shit

-Nix🌙

Ps: Day 19 is almost done

#nixnephili #bungou stray dogs #bsd season 4 #bsd fanart #bsd headcanons #decay of angels #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fyodor #fyodor headcanons #fyodor bsd #bsd writing #bsd analysis

64 notes · View notes

taiyakipress · 8 months

Note

I noticed you asking for asks so I put an ask in your asks

No but serious question, I notice you're a big Cody fan. What are your favorites (or mains) in other fighting games ya know?

LOL HELLO!!! Other mains...I main Yun in SF3, and rn Luke in SF6! I love them along with Birdie, Ed and Nash! As far as other fighting games...Guilty Gear, I LOVE Sin and Leo! But I'm ngl street fighter is like my main fighting game series 😭 I only recently started playing third strike because I love Yun a lot 😂 SFV is my main game tho, I'm currently a Gold rank Cody and shooting for Platinum. I play SF6 sometimes but it's just not as engaging when my mans Cody isn't in it...😭

Thanks for the ask! 🐻✨

#yaki talks

4 notes · View notes

chaoxfix · 1 year

Note

Hey, i might be wrong but i think i remember you making a post for international women's day, and in it you said that you went through a period of thinking you werent a woman at all but then realised you were actually a lesbian. I just wanted to ask how you figured it out? I cant figure out if im a trans guy or a lesbian and I'm sort of desperate for guidance rn. Sorry this is a bit out of the blue and i totally get it if you dont wanna talk about it. Hope you're having a good day and take care!

ah, this is definitely a tough one, so please know that wherever your journey takes you i hope you find happiness and peace! im also not the end-all-be-all and im also not the sexuality and gender police. people can have similar experiences and feelings and still end up using different terminology and understanding themselves completely in a way that's totally different from one another, so please don't feel the need to use my experience as a roadmap for yourself.

under the cut in case discussion of sexuality and gender is triggering! genuinely, for my trans followers especially, please don't feel the need to look at this if it's something you would be uncomfortable reading. my journey definitely doesn't need to be yours.

in the end there are a few important details for why i ended up thinking i was a guy, or at least nonbinary

grew up evangelical christian and never really believed or felt the faith i was 'supposed' to feel. i also had trouble connecting with my family since they earnestly did believe it. i felt like a stranger in my own home, and worried that someday they'd disown me. i was also terrified of hell, and of 'sinning'. (making mistakes - see 4)

realized i liked girls when i was 12 and not only did i not know much about being gay aside from it being a 'sin', every girl in my grade talked so much about crushes when we were 12 that i felt super isolated from them as a peer group. due to 1 (the evangelical thing) i also grew up knowing my expectation in god's eyes was to be a christian wife and mom someday, and even aside from the 'sin' aspect and the disowning aspect, realizing i liked girls and didnt really like boys, the evangelical ideal for me was suddenly so, so terrifying.

i believed i was a tomboy growing up, but ultimately had to play with mostly feminine toys bc thats what i was given. i wanted to play with my brother but i was often left behind. i had a pretty lonely childhood and associated close friendships with my brother and his friends, not me and the other girls on the playground. when i was really little my best friend was a boy who stopped being friends with me because 'girls cant play power rangers or star wars' so that was probably pretty impactful on my psyche.

i was terrified of making mistakes due to my evangelical upbringing. because i didnt have faith i was so, so terrified of anything i did that could be considered wrong. i wanted to banish everything i'd ever done wrong, even the tiniest misstep, from everyone's memory as well as my own.

i grew up feeling guilty for any of my accomplishments because i was compared favorably to my brother and instead of feeling proud of myself, i felt like the worst person alive if i was being used as 'motivation' or a 'positive example.'

i wanted so badly to be respected by peers. but there were instances where i was told at like. debate teams. 'wow, i thought you were just here to look pretty'

an older trans friend told me he wished he'd known he was trans at my age so he wouldn't have wasted so much time, and told me i was probably trans too because he'd been just like me a few years ago, and that i should get started on social transition so it'd be easier to transition medically when i was older

i had a lot of tomboy interests, and grew up really enjoying mostly 'boy' cartoons. i also really wanted to get into parkour and obstacle courses and the punk scene, which had mostly guys where i lived

i really, really, really hated myself. i would try to reinvent myself every time i moved, but no matter what, i was still myself wherever i went -- awkward, shy, smart and interesting but always puts my foot in my mouth eventually. the only way to avoid that would be to completely change myself. every memory i had, i wanted to get rid of and replace with one from someone better.

i hated my name and body and face and personality and voice and hobbies. everything that's hardest to change, i hated viscerally.

so basically, those were the top 10 reasons i thought i was trans. ultimately, i ended up not being trans. but i thought i was for the better part of 5 years, closer to 6 altogether. i went by a gender neutral name for most of that time. every day i went by that name i was convinced that someday it'd actually feel like me, and i'd feel better for changing my name. but it never really happened. but i still hated my birth name, too, so... what was the issue? i couldnt figure it out, and was so, so anxious about it.

well, turns out the issue was reasons 9 and 10. i hated myself. and that issue was caused by 1. all of it ties back to being raised evangelical christian.

ultimately, ive been dealing with handling my depression and self-hate and anxiety. and i realized that, for me, trying to be a boy, or at least not a girl, was part of me just wanting to destroy myself in any way i could.

when i was 12, i wanted to kill myself, or at least do it by 18. when i was 14, i was presented with the option of reinventing myself as a completely different person. that seemed like the better option. but i think, overall, i didn't need to destroy anything or become someone completely different.

in the end, i don't hate myself for believing i was trans for 5+ years. i wasn't correct in my assessment of myself, but obsessing over it wouldn't really do any good at this point, so i try not to overthink it. im just sad that i didnt address the actual issues i had, and instead blanketed over them with the wrong solution.

the reason i don't see myself as nonbinary or trans anymore is because i was using it to fix the problem that i thought i had, not the problem i actually did. to me, even though i sincerely believed i was at the time, i think it was a way to not be the definition of woman that my parents had. (also, especially when i'd been assaulted at a pretty young age, as soon as i was starting to 'look like a woman' it felt safer to not become one...)

anyways. i think what i needed to do all along was just hate myself less, and try to like myself more.

that's hard to do. but it came in time, with focusing on hobbies that i genuinely enjoy. making connections and friendships that i felt seen and appreciated in, not just tolerated. pushing back on my family's views. understanding that being a woman doesn't have to mean settling down with a husband and having kids. it also meant finding jobs and careers that i feel like the best version of myself in, where i feel like im doing something good for both myself and others. and trying not to base my style or my appearance on how others would view me, but instead of how i wanted to view myself.

i hope this helps you sort through your thoughts!

7 notes · View notes

saeraas · 9 months

Text

some jjk characters playing guilty gear since Johnny hype got me and I'm bored at work also happy 25th anniverasy to guilty gear!

yuji: sol badguy because he's pretty rad and kyle was too boring for him. tried to play giovanna but todo kept picking her too. falls for dp baits a lot

megumi: plays zato=1. doesn't use everything right and somehow gets filtered by asukas. not happy about the nerfs to eddie and thinks it's stupid even though he can't even leave his shikigami out either. will probably be playing testament in season 3. saw the box strategy during kof grand finals and will probably do that too

nobara: likes bridget since she's cute. doesn't understand how she's doing all this with a yo yo but doesn't think about it too much. gets hit once and immediately starts mashing. does not want to admit she can't figure out how to play i-no

sukuna: the most slimey happy chaos if that is even possible. not happy about the full screen burst changes but will probably figure it out. gets happy knowing he made someone's day worse just for playing against a happy chaos. leffen fan

gojo: figured out asuka #r on day one. a lot of people dc or one and done him. played faust before asuka because he liked the idea of fucking up people and loves when the trumpet comes out for the mindgame. his asuka vs sukuna's happy chaos is the most snooze inducing match but everyone in the lobby is also shocked seeing happy chaos get bullied. you'd think gojo would play ky, but like yuji he got bored

maki: baiken fan that actually plays baiken. will pick potemkin if she fights naoya's chipp, so he gets filtered in the most disrespectful way possible and post highlights on youtube

miwa: excited to finally play ggst because Johnny is in the game and is still grinding the most ridiculous johnny combos in xrd :)

yuki: plays giovanna because she's her type. her way of playing is very straightforward but will start to do crazy rushdown pressure and lock in if she plays against kenjaku

kashimo: the only guy that stuck with sin because he's not a quitter. doesn't complain about how the character is rn but also happy for season 3 for any buffs. that one guy that follows sukuna around in the lobby and keeps getting filtered by his happy chaos

kenjaku: has played through all the other guilty gears with i-no because they really liked i-no's character and continues to play i-no. has also picked up jack-o in strive

mahito: plays may and dolphin spams

yuta: plays kyle. only person that thinks ky is not boring on this list. yes, he picked the only one in strive's roster that is married. tries to use his dragon install because of the lore importance behind but gets punished a lot for it. makes it work, though.

#disclaimer i like ky and played him in xrd #jjk #not tagging all these characters #watching the interview video and knowing this will be the conclusion of guilty gear's story feels right with what's strive's doing but dang #them talking about how bridget was the character they poured the most love into and it shows #and i love how they were happy about her reception at evo but the main guy who designed her couldn't be there :(

2 notes · View notes

crimsonicarus · 11 months

Note

🥳 📚💖

hiii anni!

🥳 An album you'd put on for a party: oooof for me it would definetly be "Un verano sin ti" by Bad bunny but im biased af, the whole kali Uchis discography will play as well

📚 A song or album you could write a term paper on: if i was allowed to do my THESIS on lorde's melodrama i would saly so hard, let me break down every song from that glorious album, also Wasteland baby! by hozier, it may be long but it would be worth it

💖 A guilty pleasure song: rn it would be "Chorrito pa las ánimas" by feid or "Monalisa" by young myko, i used to dislike this artist for reasons that im not even sure about and now im vibing so hard for both these songs omg

#ask game!#anni <3 #thanks for the ask!

2 notes · View notes

deathlyxiii · 7 months

Text

i do not trust ky kiske haters !!!!!!! leave my wife alone he is trying his best </3 tbh i used to think he was a shitty dad for dropping sin off to sol but that was before i properly understood his character & motivations (and also before i actually took the time to actually watch the story) like everything ky does is for the greater good he is a good person at the very core of his being .. there was a reason why he couldn't be there for sin when he was younger !!

i COULD be remembering wrong but i think there is an insinuation that ky regrets not being there for sin because he as one of the three kings of illyria had to keep his relationship with dizzy a secret (and by extension the existence of sin kiske as his son)............. like come on man he's a political figure in the guilty gear universe, even i would regret not being able to raise my son bc of some political bullshit

the kiskes mean a lot to me i'm sorry i just really like their dynamic... they are just a silly family ... i think about them a lot... every time i play guilty gear strive/xrd and i remember abt the kiskes i get so emotional ... the little cutscene after sin's arcade mode in strive made me feel so many emotions... "you're not mad at me, dad?" "i have no reason to" AGHHHHH

HE'S NOT A BAD DAD OR HUSBAND HE CARES ABOUT HIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!!! sorry for the rambling btw im just uoghghhh guilty gear is my special interest & current hyperfixation rn

#text #gg

1 note · View note

volfoss · 2 years

Text

Going thru the guilty gear wiki and compiling a blorbo list and oh my god. These characters r like right up my alley. <- knows this will do smth to me

But um. Guilty gear blorbo list from perusing the wiki:

A.B.A. literally such good design and reading the personality note I'm like shooting the beams of oh my god mecore. Literally like when u see a character and ur like woah. Connecting mentally already. This is a very bad sign to start w bc um. The more blorbos I gather from guilty gear the more I'll wanna play it

Answer. Oh my god. Weak for men that r like businessy and the personality section on the wiki.

Baiken. Me when women 😳 but also like..I love her clothing it's sooo swag. Also characters when they r like that personality wise. Literally screaming and pounding my fists against the ground

Bedman. The design alone. Then I hit the personality section and like. 👀 Girls will see a character that's rude and go ok. Bestie moment. And that's me rn

Giovanna. Oh my god. Literally like shooting w the blorbo beams going insane etc. Like just looking at the personality section and just like. Latched on. Also oh my god I love the outfit too.

I-No. Literally she's so so so pretty and characters that are kinda fucked up but like. Have the tiny bits of weakness in their little fucked up guy attitude. Very intrigued w her.

Johnny. Literally like the exact character type I get invested in I literally care about him so much.

Sin Kiske. Very intrigued on like. What the lore w him is but I don't wanna get spoiled

Slayer for sure! Men who look kinda evil and twisted yet is just some old fashioned guy. Intrigued by him

Sol Badguy. Intrigued by him like his little interests. Intrigued by how a lot of the characters rly struggle w social situations bc like. Same. Very interested w him

Testament. Obviously. They're so so cool and so just!!!!!!!! Idk it makes me so happy 2 see representation. Also anyone who likes potatoes is a friend of mine. Reading the personality section I am physically going 😵 because oh my god... So many characters that click w my little brain so so niceys

Valentine. I am OBSESSED w the design. Love the vibes. Would do anything for her etc.

VENOM. SO SO SO MUCH. ASSASSIN BAKER COMBO. SO SWAGTACULAR. Very intrigued on what ive seen so far.

Ramlethal Valentine. Intrigued and obsessed w the design I'm just like shooting little brain waves at many of the characters and this is one. Reading the personality section and sobbing and shaking a bit

Raven. Just a little guy but fucked up and I'm like 👀. Very very intrigued. Feel honestly bad for him but blorbo for sure

Robo-Ky. So so so intrigued. Love the design so much like. YES. Love how he looks. Very intrigued.

#twist rambles #the guilty gear mutuals won ok ajsjdjd #long post #jic akakskd #i go on wikis when sleepy so um. sorry for how long this is

13 notes · View notes

bamf-jaskier · 3 years

Text

AU Where Dara is the Heir to the Elven Throne

I have been thinking about this NONSTOP and yeah so this is like my new fav headcanon rn. We know Dara’s family was involved in Filavandrel’s uprising and that Filavandrel himself wasn’t indicated/shown to have a family so imagine that Dara is either Filavandrel’s son or just heir and THAT is the reason he hid but still felt very guilty over hiding while the elves were slaughtered by Calanthe.

In episode 4 he says, “Her soldiers…They laughed when they did it, killing, raping. They laughed the hardest when they were swinging babies from their legs, smashing their heads in. I was the only one left. Because I hid. I should’ve saved them. or fought and died.” (I kinda talk about this more here)

and if you think about this in the context of Dara being a prince it makes sense. Because then he realizes he has to hid in order to continue the royal line of the elves but also he feels a sense of guilt because he is feels as though he has this sense of duty to his people. It also explains why he knew so much when the doppler was impersonating Mousesack about what happens in sieges and how prisoners are tortured, etc. Dara would have been involved in at least some way in the planning and fighting of the uprising even if he was extremely young.

So Dara leaves Ciri behind because he had this realization that just like Ciri is pushing for her destiny and her plans, he has to do the same. He felt this sense of kinship with her, both royalty whose kingdoms were stolen from them. It adds this layer that Dara’s home was stolen by Ciri’s family and how there is this struggle there and how much blame can Ciri hold for her ignorance and the sins of her family? Clearly Dara cares for her in some aspects but there is going to be this tension that I think in the end would be difficult to overcome.

Dara leaves Ciri behind and while she finds Geralt, Dara finds the few elves that are left. Filavandrel is still alive and is forming an elven army. They want to take advantage of Cintra’s weakness in order to take back their land. This sort of plays into the idea of the Scoia’tael but instead of being a group of elves who were manipulated by Nilfgaard and honestly were expected to lose from the beginning, this would be a real fighting force with clear goals and intentions.

At first, Dara has trouble adjusting once again to the responsibility of being heir. While he was on the run, he adjusted to hiding under the radar but he knows the eyes of his people are on him again and he feels a sense of survivor’s guilt for watching his people die during Calanthe’s massacre and struggles with having this leadership position alongside Filavandrel while feeling like he wasn’t good enough. Of course, as he plans this elven campaign, and they fight against the few remaining Cintran forces and take back a lot of their land and set up their own kingdom once again, he gains confidence.

He is crowned king once the new elven kingdom is set up because Filavandrel is just so tired and wants to rest and Dara is the new blood the elves sort of need to keep them strong and secure. He’s definitely the sort of ruler who will dress in normal clothing and go out among the people in disguise. I love the royalty-in-disguise trope and I’m willing to bet that Dara will often do this. He loves traveling and meeting new people and new experiences without the grandeur of the royal title.

Imagine he reconnects with Ciri while in disguise when she is planning to take down Nilfgaard, maybe it’s been a year or so since they last saw each other and by now, Ciri has grown a lot. She’s more secure, she has been training and being raised by Geralt and Dara has grown a lot too so there's now this sense of maturity between them. And although Dara doesn’t reveal he’s royalty he does offer to help Ciri once again. He is not a fan of Nilfgaard, recognizing that they are just another form of benevolent imperialism.

So perhaps Dara helps Ciri plan attacks against Nilfgaard and surprises her with his talent strategy. Maybe he plays a role as a spy or an infiltrator within the Nilfgaard Army. (also imagine him trying to keep his role as a fighter alongside Ciri a secret from his advisors and telling them he’s on the road or something when he’s actually fighting Nilfgaard, the comedy)

And then, down the road, Nilfgaard is defeated and a lot of people in Cintra want to take their land back and re-establish their kingdom again. However, there is now this new Elven Kingdom that has formed near Brokilon and much of the land they have is in what was once Cintra.

So Ciri goes to the newly set up Elven Court to negotiate and sort of feel out how relations between Cintra and the Elves would work and then who is on the throne but Dara who did NOT expect Ciri to arrive.

And they’ve been good friends for a number of years now so Ciri is just SHOCKED that Dara is actually the KING of the Elves and he’s just like “Listen, I didn’t want to tell you I thought it would make things awkward”

I love this idea a lot and I know I don’t really have time to ever write it but I am obsessed.

#the witcher #dara #ciri #I lot these two a lot and have many ideas but #I have no time to write #ARGH #the witcher netflix #the witcher aus #myposts #elves #why the FUCK are there not more Dara head canons?#deadass I haven't seen a SINGLE fic about him or anything #there's a couple where like...he's adopted alongside Ciri sort of #but nothing really about him specifically #anyways here you all go

215 notes · View notes

usual-day-dreamer · 3 years

Text

Veneno (Javier Peña x Reader)

A/N: I know I promised it’d be a Mandalorian one but this idea came to me thanks to a song and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to write it so I hope you enjoy! Pedro Pascal and his characters requests are open! I’m so in love with him rn, I swear.

SUMMARY: Javier cannot stand the thought of losing you to someone else, and after a lot of missed chances he finally acts upon his feeling.

WARNINGS: angsty with a happy ending, infidelity.

“Congratulations on your engagement”

Javier’s voice distracts you from your actual conversation “Excuse me for a second please” you say with a sigh, turning your attention to him and crossing your arms over your chest “Thanks” you reply, tone bitter “Now, if you'll excuse me I have some things to attend to”

You turn to leave but his firm grasp stopped you.

“Wait didn’t you tell me?” he demands and with a scoff you set free from his grip “No tengo porque darte explicaciones Javier” (I don't have to give you any explanations Javier).

With a last glance you walk away from him, trying your hardest not to cry.

His calloused fingers caress your bare back and you hum in satisfaction. A light breeze comes inside the dimly lit room through the open window while the moon shines brightly outside. Cigarette smoke fills your lungs but you don’t care, you snuggle closer to his chest with a content smile.

The street was unusually quiet, the only sound of a passing car every now and then. Javier looked ahead, inhaling the smoke and letting it out through his mouth in deep and even breaths, he looked pensive and tired and you reached up to kiss up his jaw “What`s on your mind?”

He sighs, and for a second you think he’s finally going to open up to you, your heart jumps with hope. He looks down at your eyes, hopeful and shining, his heart swells at the sight and he brushes a stray strand of hair off your face “Nothing dulzura, go to sleep”

There’s a flicker of disappointment in your eyes and he feels guilty for causing it, scolding himself. You pull away from his embrace to turn off the lamp and fall down to your side, back turning away from him “Good night” you say and you fall into a peaceful slumber.

Javier knew that was supposed to happen just once. You had a boyfriend and seemed to be apparently happy but he knew better; otherwise the encounters would have never existed.

He wanted to regret them, he really did, but with every passing day it got harder to let go, already addicted and deep inside a hole he never thought he’d find himself.

He’s angry and full of frustration. For so long he had longed for you, to finally be… something, whatever that meant.

Javier loaded these events, not only because they were utterly boring and unnecessary, but because you’d be there, holding another’s arm.

He sipped his champagne quietly looking with a frown at you and your boyfriend, you were smiling, but it wasn’t reaching your ears and he just knew that if he was in his place it would. You were gorgeous. Gleaming with a lilac dress and carefully applied makeup.

He takes a sip of his drink again, hoping to ease the dry feeling in his throat, looking around for someone else to spend the night with; but no one compared to you. He gives his empty flute to a passing waiter and walks to a small balcony, lighting a cigarette.

“¿Aburrido tan pronto?” (Bored so soon?) Your voice almost makes him jump, instead, a smirk dances across his lips and he turns around to face you, words completely trapped at the sight of you giving him one of your smiles that was only reserved to him.

“Al parecer no soy el ùnico” (Not the only one, apparently) you walk next to him and he offers you his cigarette, you take a drag from it and hand it back “¿Y Ricardo?” (Where 's Ricardo?” you roll your eyes.

“His name is Rodrigo” you remind him “I told him I had to go to the restroom and talk business with someone”

His empty hand traces along the soft skin of her exposed back, goosebumps rising and you shiver “Javier” you warn “We can’t, anyone could walk out and see” Javier looks around, the place still empty and he walks backwards to a more secluded area, pulling you with him “Then we’ll be quick” He crashes her lips into yours with passion, pleased that you don’t pull away.

The worst part was that he really loved you, and that realization took him months to accept and confront; but he was afraid, terrified of that. He found out that being truly in love was the scariest thing that has happened to him so far, and he fought against narcos every day.

He knew that he had to be quick, to steal you away from the other as soon as he could, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it and he had no idea why.

“Ya no puedo seguir con esto Javier” (I can’t keep up with this Javier) his heart almost stopped at the sound of those words “Me duele demasiado, es horrible estar con alguien màs cuando yo estoy pensando en ti… cada que beso sus labios deseo que sean los tuyos y yo sòlo quiero que sean tus brazos en los que despierto” (It hurts so much, being with someone when I only think of you… everytime I kiss his lips I wish they were yours and I just want your arms around me when I wake up)

There’s a lump in his throat and he watches you fight your tears “Por favor dime que tu igual sientes lo mismo que yo” (Please tell me you feel the same way about me) your voice trembles and he watches the tears travel down your face, but still says nothing. You wait, desperately holding to any sign that he actually wants you just like you want him, but his expression stays the same and suddenly his silence is too deafening.

“Goodbye Javier” he watches you go, finding himself unable to scream out your name.

A knock on his door brakes his trance and he walks towards it to open it, only to find you behind it. His mind tricks him for a second and he pulls you in with force, pressing you against the closed door as his lips hungrily attack yours in a bruising kiss.

You slowly pull away, pulling something out from your pocket “I came to invite you to my wedding” the words pierce his heart and he hesitantly grabs the cream envelope “I don’t understand mi amor”

“You can’t call me that anymore Javier, you are just making this harder for me”

“Por favor, sòlo dèjame-” (Please, just let me-)

“Ya te di muchas oportunidades, y ¿sabes què? Jamàs hiciste nada, no creo que ahora vayas a cambiar, tu miedo al compromiso es demasiado grande... solamente eres un mujeriego, nunca me debí enamorar de ti” (I already gave you lots of chances and you know what? You never acknowledge them, I don’t think you’ll change now, your fear to commitment is way too big, you are just a player, I should have never fall in love with you)

You open his door and step outside “If you still won’t do anything, at least come to my wedding”

And again, he watches you go.

He’s sulking, wearing a suit still debating if he should go or not. He wonders how you must look, beautiful with an equally gorgeous white dress, getting ready for another man.

He curses and covers his face with his hands, a long sigh leaving his lips.

He feels himself close to tears, memories with you shaking his very core as he tries to grasp what’s left of them. A slow and sad song playing in the background, helping his mood just right.

He scoffs, slowly feeling himself drift away to insanity and you slip out of his hands like sand.

There’s no way you want him now, not after all the times he fucked up.

“If you still won’t do anything, at least come to my wedding”

He suddenly remembers and his head shots up, you still wanted him to make a sign! Oh how stupid he has been for the past three hours. He checks his watch and rushes out, if he leaves now, he’ll be able to arrive before it’s too late.

The tires of his car screech loudly as he parks just in front of the lovely Colombian chapel. He stops for a few seconds to think of the right words, almost laughing with how silly all this was, it was like a telenovela.

His legs come back to life and he runs inside “¡Paren!” (Stop!) the guests gasp and all eyes turn to him, including yours, which were covered by a beautiful veil “Javier?” you call his name and he stops in the middle of the corridor, taking in your appearance.

He takes a deep breath and finally swallows the lump in his throat.

“Por favor no te cases con èl” (Please don’t marry him) “Te amo, te amo como no tienes idea, cada momento que paso lejos de ti es un infierno y la verdad es que no puedo vivir sin ti” (I love you, you have no idea how much, every moment I’m not with you it’s like going to hell and back and the truth is that I can’t live without you)

“I know I missed a lot of chances, and I understand if it’s too late now, but I truly can’t live without you anymore, so please, give me a chance”

Everyone is silent with their mouths agape in amazement. He looks at you, nervous because he can’t see your expressions behind the lace veil. He’s about to walk out when you finally speak.

“Oh, Javier” you gasp out and run towards him, grabbing the front of your white dress to avoid an accident. Javier opens his arms and your crash against him “I love you too Javi” he smiles and pulls away to look at your face “May I?” he asks, gesturing to the veil, you nod eagerly and he pulls it over your head.

Your smile is enormous and your eyes shine brighter than usual as he meets your wanting gaze, he smiles too before tilting his head and kissing you, deepening it by grabbing your jaw and cheek with his hand, the other gripping your waist tightly pulling you flush against him. When you pull back he admires you closed eyed face, you open your eyes slowly and stare back at him.

He grabs your hand tenderly and kisses your cheek “Let’s go mi amor”

And you follow him, not even glancing back at the forgotten groom astonished in the altar along with the guests.

#pedro pascal x reader #javier peña x reader #narcos #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal imagine #javier pena

184 notes · View notes

motherfuckingbrad · 2 years

Text

ok so i’m only on s2 of its always sunny and literally already knees deep in very deep analyses of all the characters even tho the show is meant to be very surface level stupid BUT

currently watching when the gang tries to profit off the virgin mary water stain (also the first appearance of david hornsby hello my beloved) and mac’s religious trauma is popping tf OFF dude annnnd i just think it’s so very important to his character development to consider how terrified of god he is (like any child raised strictly catholic) and how that factors into him being gay

now most of these thoughts are stemming from a macdennis fic i read last night that i could literally write a ten pages paper on analyzing how mac’s religious trauma and dennis’s narcissism play into their relationship but even when considering the canon plots of the show, mac’s relationship w catholicism and god is so so important to consider when thinking about his journey through internalized homophobia and being closeted and then finally being able to admit to his friends and himself that yes, he’s gay and yes, it’s ok to say it and no, god will not strike him down for loving other men because love is not a sin.

and i know they say mac being gay wasn’t planned out from s1 but when looking at the very early seasons through the lens of him later coming out, it makes so much sense because mac is so homophobic and so aggressive and so over the top macho man because obviously he has so many pent up feelings of shame and disgust and anger with himself for feeling the way he feels and no matter what girls he gets with he can’t help but think of men and feel so guilty and ashamed when he does. i mean even considering the shame he felt for hanging out with carmen the transgender woman in s1, he just hides from and/or violently rejects anything and anyone remotely queer even if he likes them because, like the virgin mary water again episode shows, he’s absolutely terrified of god and what god will do to him if he sins.

and i could go on and on and on but i don’t want to make this post super fuckin long, i just can’t stop imagining mac giving in to his needs and then praying over the men he’s laying in bed with afterwards and going to confessional every sunday to desperately try to cleanse himself and praying every night for god to let him feel some other way, wondering why he feels so wrong and why he can’t just be normal and why he was taught to hate every aspect of how he loves

sorry i’m just an ex catholic who cries every time i imagine mac thinking about how he will go to hell simply for the way he loves. anyway i hope he heals (again im only on s2 i barely know anything so lmk if i’m horrendously wrong rn) and i hope he can find a relationship with god that is accepting of how he feels and loves and i hope he continues to grow in his queer journey because even though he’s a horrible person i love him so much

#i just feel so many emotions for him #rotten evil broken pathetic sad little man #very excited to watch mac go through his journey while already knowing he’s gay though #that’s what searching tumblr for posts about the show you barely started watching gets you #anyway sorry for all the long ass posts i just feel so much tonight!#it’s always sunny #mac mcdonald #macdennis

18 notes · View notes

oveliagirlhaditright · 3 years

Text

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33155107

Of all the people in the Hachiko Group, aside from Neku… the person that Joshua had always valued the most, was Rhyme. Neo spoilers.

The Joshyme here is platonic, but you can see it as romantic if you want.

Beam of Sunshine

Of all the people in the Hachiko Group, aside from Neku… the person that Joshua had always valued the most, was Rhyme.

And so, he supposed it was a good thing he’d brought her back to life, when he really hadn’t had to, then.

And there were a few reasons for that he did love her… It was for the fact that the clever girl could keep up with him (so much so that she had said she’d known he was the smart one in the Tin Pin universe, when he’d rightly called her out on being a traitor)… for her laughing at his jokes at her brother’s expense (though she did clearly love Beat more than anything)… and since they could think alike sometimes.

Joshua had heard Rhyme thinking during her week of the Game, that everyone in Shibuya’s values were trying to come in the loudest, much like how he had later said it was impossible for people to understand each other.

…Rhyme was also nice. Much too kind for her own good, really, and he hated to see when she got taken advantage of (and almost wanted to give her a stern talking to when these moments happened). And Joshua knew that that was a lot of the reason he adored about her, since part of the reason he’d wanted to destroy Shibuya was because of its sin, after all.

But the reason he was making himself known to the girl now? And preparing to compliment her? It was because he owed her, that’s why.

At the moment, Rhyme was buying herself an ice cream cone at Miyashita Park. And while Josh himself didn’t like the stuff, he thought Rhyme certainly deserved the treat, if she herself did. “All work and no play made Rhyme a dull girl,” like she had told Beat earlier in the week.

Making sure that no one was watching him, Joshua sat on the bench beside the younger Bito sibling, willed himself into the RG, and touched Rhyme’s hand, so that she would know he was there.

…Though he supposed he shouldn’t have done the latter, because that seemed to startle the girl more than anything. She nearly jumped forty feet into the air, Joshua thought (quite impressive, for a non-flier) and her heart rate had gone quite high. Joshua was almost worried she’d have to start playing the Game again, if it shot up any more, and that just wouldn’t do.

He held up a hand and offered her a small smile to try and calm her down. “Sorry to startle you, Raimu. I admit, I could have gone about that all a bit better… This whole thing I’m about to do is largely out of character, and I’m out of my depth.”

“C-can I help you, then?” Rhyme breathed. Her heart calming down, as she caught her breath and cautiously took a seat beside the Composer.

Joshua could hardly blame her for her caution. Because while they had hung-out a little bit in the past, it had been three years since they had seen each other last, really. And he doubted she remembered when she’d been soul fragments in Traverse Town.

“After all, two people working as opposed to one lightens the load!” Rhyme carried on.

Joshua smirked and “hmmed” at her comment. Because he could have expected that she would use an adage, but for some reason he never would have guessed she would have directed one at him. Was he becoming too human for her to have done that, or was he not enough human, that he thought the little ray of sunshine wouldn’t try to win him over with her words, too?

“Normally, Raimu, I would take you up on the offer. And it’s quite nice of you to ask… But not now, when what I’m here for is quite simple. Just know that I’m here to tell you… I’m proud of you. And these words don’t leave my mouth easily. I don’t think I’ve ever even spoken so candidly with Neku. But… while I don’t know if I necessarily want you hacking my Game ever again, young lady.”

And somehow, Rhyme had it within her to first look guilty for what she’d done, but then also challenging—as if thinking that she would do it again, if she needed to—and Joshua, despite himself, found himself respecting her all the more for it. He resisted the urge to pat her head, for the good little girl she was.

But she was so much more than that, too, wasn’t she? And that was why he was here.

Forming an arch with his fingers, and placing it over his forehead, Yoshiya continued on. “But you really helped to save the day. Shibuya would not be standing now, were it not for your efforts. And that is something. Hacking is not the dream you originally had. You lost your dreams—your original Entry Fee—but you didn’t wallow in despair, but instead filled in that hole with something new, and saved the day when duty called… And if I didn’t know any better, I’d be thinking that maybe I should be calling upon you when the UG needs someone, and not Neku anymore.”

Rhyme gasped at that. And while Joshua was very much not human—especially not now. The Composer had come out to play at this moment. Joshua had never meant to make that proposition to Rhyme… and to get “creepy”, and so “god of death-like”, as it were, but perhaps Yoshiya had all along—he could allow her being so human as to be shocked, as he tried to get a handle on this horrible situation he’d just screwed up, when he’d just come to give the poor kid a solid… not give her cardiac arrest. Really.

After she had gotten her breath once more, it seemed it was Rhyme’s turn to surprise Joshua. The girl’s ice cream was starting to melt: again, this was Joshua’s own fault, for having such a conversation with Rhyme, when she was eating such a substance. And he comforted himself in the fact that it was vanilla ice cream (white), at least, matching his shirt. If the disgusting, overly-sweet gelatinous stuff got on his top, as Raimu leaned towards him now, he should be able to get the stain out with his powers, just fine.

“…Not that I’d ever really want to go back to anything involving the Game, if I had the choice, Joshua. I enjoy being a hacker, thank you very much. And I think I might try to work for the NPA… I have been thinking about it some… and if it ever came down to it, I wouldn’t mind trying to ascend to try and help everyone, if I needed to. But only then! Because where there’s no light, be the light, right? Kind of like I was the other da-.”

And here Joshua had to put a hand to the girl’s lips to keep her from finishing that sentence. What a minx Raimu Bito was! Who would have guessed it?! Because, yes: the lonely part of him would have been far too happy to find a way to make her into an angel now, so he could have someone with him forever; it was the same way that he desperately wanted Neku to be his Conductor.

Well, Joshua supposed he deserved this temptation for getting as off-track as he had. He tried to grab control now—as he got off the bench, backed away from Rhyme, and bowed to her slightly… which was all too weird, because even this was how Japanese politeness worked (Joshua knew it well), he couldn’t help feeling, she should have been bowing to him, and not the other way around. But he would stifle that feeling. “I, uhh… apologize I guess, Rhyme Bito. Thank you again for your assistance. But do keep out of the RNS, unless I specifically ask.”

Rhyme had sobered up now, too. And was somehow gracefully licking at all the melting spots on her ice cream cone, to try and salvage it so she wouldn’t have a complete mess, before she waved at him, “And thank youfor showing up and helping us, Josh! I know Neku doesn’t show it that much—still more than he used to back in the day, though—but it meant more to him than you know… And thanks for what you did for Shoka and Rindo, too! Don’t be a stranger!”

And Rhyme beamed at Josh, being very much like the ray of sunshine he’d referred to her earlier.

And so… Joshua decided that maybe for that—for her… for all of the Hachiko Group, really—he could try and keep the life-and-death things to a minimum, and be a normal person people would appreciate around them, and show up to these events that Neku and Rhyme had invited him to.

“Yes, Rhyme… thank you, indeed.”

Author’s Note: So, for those who don't know, Joshyme was a pretty big deal in the fandom, back in the day....

And I guess I've brought it back in the year of our Lord 2021. But this might be the last fic I write for them. Or it might not. We'll see.And I kind of wrote this by accident? I wanted to write some Bito sibling stuff... but that'll come later.

But Joshua and Rhyme's possible relationship (platonic) has always fascinated me, because I feel there's some interesting stuff there. And I think Joshua could potentially be proud of her for what she did, even after she lost her dreams.

Hope you all enjoyed?

#neo twewy #ntwewy #neo #neo the world ends with you #joshyme #Yoshiya kiryu #Raimu bito #Joshua kiryu #rhyme bito #Joshua and rhyme

8 notes · View notes

miyaniacs · 4 years

Text

Sinfully Sweetheart HC. Pt 5

Hinata, Lev and Kenma

feat. Kuroo

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt.3, pt.4, pt. 6

Sorry this is soooo long???? and a mess and sorry if this is trash but I feel like Hinata is way too innocent to get what’s going on rn

SOO LETS START

So you know each other since you were small

Your as cheerful and positive as him

You also like to please everyone

So you’re rather kind and helpful

Because your so close to Hinata everyone

And I mean EVERYONE thought you’re just as innocent / obvious than him

Including Hinata himself

you two went to Kenmas birthday party

The rest of the team was also invited because Kuroo forced him to give a proper birthday PARTY

So it’s team Nekoma and Team Karasuno

And Bokuto + Akaashi ( Gym 3 sticks together - ride or die ✊🏼)

Oh and yes Fukurodanis Managers ( Yukie and Kaori) are there too making it 5 girls and about 20+ guys lol )

Yes Kuroo did tease Kenma for having like no female friends

And yes Kenma did clap back asking him why HE haven’t brought some of his female friends

Now everyone is dancing and having a good time

You sit together with Kenma, Kuroo, Hinata, Yaku and Lev talking about the latest Switch games

You’re being the sunshine you are, kept smiling and laughing

Always helping Lev out when Yaku and Kuroo kept teasing him

It was really fun

THENNN Yamamoto and Tanaka come over to your little group

„Hey, we thought about going some truth or dare? You’re in?“

You all nodded and walked over to the others

NOW the real fun starts

Yamamoto was the first one to spin

The bottle lands onnnnnnnnn

Kageyama

„Truth“ he simply says

„BUhhh that’s so boring“ Hinata complains

„TELL US. WHO was the last person you kissed?“ Yamamoto asks

Kags blushes

„Uhm I can’t remember ..“

„OHHH SHUT UP YOU DO!!“ Hinata is laughing his ass of

„STOP IT BOKE“

„OHH NO I WONT“

„Ok what happened?“ Yuki asks

„He Kissed Oikawa“ Tsuki simply says and smirks

„I DID NOT“ a red Tags complains

„YOU DID!!!“ Hinata laughs

„Ok to be fair - he fell on top of him while they where in one of their typical arguments and it just happened“ you tried to help

„Y/N stop trying to be so nice - he kissed him end of the story.“ Tanaka laughs

Tags takes the bottle and angrily spins it

And it lands onnnnn

LEV

„Dare“ he puffs his chest

„I dare you to uhh .. hug Yachi“

„WHAAAAT“ Yashi panics lol

„It’s just a hug - you’re here with the big guys so this will be the most innocent thing that’s going to happen“ Kuroo

„Kuroo. No. Hinata,Y/N, and Yamaguchi are here“ Sugawara comments

Meanwhile lev got up already as red as Yachi and walked over to her and bend down to hug her

It’s the most awkward thing you see.

She’s as stiff as person can be, arms hanging down her sides

He looks like some cracked stick?

Its a MESS

But hey they made it

Yachi stopped working but oh well

After some more rounds the bottle lands on you

And it was Hinatas turn to ask

„Truth“ you say

„Ok y/n just one question why did you and your best friend called this one musician a Daddy?”

You chocked on your drink, Kuroo and Bokuto are rolling on the floor laughing and Sugawara together with Daichi faceplam

„Uhm .. idk who you’re talking about?“ You smile

„You know .. what was he called.. Skepta?“ ( I’m so sorry but besides that he is litterly a daddy since he’s got a cute babygirl he’s also a daddy. During his concert my best friend and I were dying and some guy behind us was like: yes I know he’s a daddy )

„Ohhh yeah he has a little daughter that’s why“ you smile happy that you could keep up your cover

„Ohhh damn and here was thinking our litte y/n isn’t as innocent as we all think“ Kaori laughs

Sugawara and Daichi are now really relieved lol

The next rounds contained :

Kenma giving Hinata a kiss on the cheek

Bokuto telling his most embarrassing story - it did include him in bed having fun alone and his aunt walking in

Tsukishima giving everyone a compliment

Etc

Now the bottle was on Kuroo

„Dare“ he says as if its nothing

„Ok I dare you to dance with y/n for 3 songs. And I choose them“ Akaashi says

„WHAT but - why me??“ You whine

„ I mean, Yukie had do give Tanaka a kiss, Kaorie is already wasted, Yachi is still broken and Kiyoko - well I don’t want to fully kill Tanaka“ he explained

„ I go easy on you“ Kuroo smirks

So Akaashi takes out his phone, connects it to the speakers and goes through his library

The Take - Tory Lanez feat Chris Brown is on ( THE LYRICS THO already at the beginning lol - one of the best songs to make out to / have sex - fight me)

„YOU CANT BE SERIOUS NOW“ you scream

„AKAASHI THERE ARE KIDS IN THE ROOM“ Daichi scrams and covers hinatas ears while Yaku does the same to Lev

„Oh this will ne fun“ Kuroo smirks and winks he looks down at you

So he gently lays his hands on your hips and moves you to the beat

„I know you’re not really comfy rn so just follow me I’ll do the work“ he smiles because HE IS SOFTY and doenst want you to feel uncomfortable

„Nah this is totally fine“ you smile „Just protect me from Daichi and Suga afterwards“

„Why should -” he begins but you already put your hands around his neck and roll your hips

„Ohh - so the daddy wasn’t because he got a daughter“ he smirks

You just let your hands wander down his chest as you slowly go down to your knees, while still moving your hips to the beat

Hiantas eyes WIDEN ??? What happened to you??

He gets all flustered ??

Looking next to him he saw that Kenmas eyes are focused on your body - he’s never so focused except whe he plays games???

You’re moving back up rn arching your back

„Doesn’t this hurt“ Sugawara asks himself

Kuroo Hands are on your ass rn ( like its not his faut, its your for having such a great booty??)

Akaashi switches the song to Own it by Stormy ( for real tho I was at one of his concerts this February and guys. he could have taken me right there and I’d feel blessed ) feat Ed Sheehan and Burna Boy

So you smile and turn around pressing yourself on Kuroo

„Girl I love how you roll it, I put my hand there, hold it.“ And he puts his hands right under your belly and you start to move your hips Shakira level

You’re still arching your back and everyone can see that Kuroo is enjoying this way too much

Lev on the other hand

After the first song he was in shock

Now he’s slowly waking up and well his eyes are hearts now

Kenma is still fixed on you and

He put his PSP away??

Hinata I still flustered and doesn’t know how to talk

„Uhm Daichi - This - I- why - why is Kuroo smirking I - and why is Bokuto Whistling ?“

„HINATA LOOK AWAY“ Suga scrams over the music

„Kenma.. is this really happening rn?“Lev whispers

He just nods and finally realised WHAT HE WAS LOOKING AT

And now he’s ALL RED ???

And feels guilty?? Like why was he so amazed by the way you moved and why was he jealous of his best friend rn??

Lev still doesn’t really get what is happening lol

You put one of your hands behind Kuroo neck and start body rolling

By NOW. Hinata is still flustered don’t get me wrong but also mad?? Like why are his friends looking at HIS BEST FRIEND like that??

„KENMA why are you blushing?! What are you thinking??“ He asks

„No-Nothing . I just want this to be finished“ he mumbles but hell no.

he’s actually thinking some really different stuff which made him not able to look at you for the rest of the night

The last song begins

And SUGA was going to KILL Akaashi. How could he be so reckless

He and Daichi btw are way too focused to keep everyone in check to really focus on what you and Kuroo were doing

You keep to singing to the song and feel Kuroos lips on your neck

„I do think the only way to save you is that you stay really close by my side for the rest of the evening“ he growls and kisses your neck

„To hide something?“ You tease and press your his against his crotch

NOW the last song is up

And yes sorry I had to use this

PONY - Ginuwine

SO you’re now fully feeling yourself

And push Kuroo down on the sofa (Its a big one ok)

RIGHT between KENMA AND LEV

And you start giving him kind of a ✨lap dace ✨

You trun around, your hands gliding up and down ypur hips and you move roll your body

Bend over back up and walk to Kuroo kneeling over him ( like his legs are in-between yours ) And you hover over him moving as if your riding him, hands moving up and down your body

SO your in your Element, Kuroos is enjoying it and everything is fine right?

KENMA on your left isn’t moving? He’s trying his best to NOT look next to him

But now you stand up again?? And he is straight up looking at you??

And you move your body in such a sexy way??

He never thought of you in that way and now he’s all SHY

LEV could’t take his eyes off of you even for just a second

In his mind he’s just : omg omg omg omg - mum I have sinned

He doesn’t even realise that his nose started bleeding?

Like ? Is this what it feels like when you’re watching porn??

Is this sex??

Because it SURE feels like sex to him

Hinata is still asking Daichi what’s going on

Tanaka trying to explain it to him AND KAGS but they just don’t get it?

„But why is Kuroo so smug?“ Hinata asks?

„She’s just dancing?“ Kags

„I woudnt call this just dancing“ Bokuto smirks

So now it makes klick in Hinata head

And he FINALLY realises what’s going on

„OMG Y/N STOP“ he screams and grabs you and pulls you away from Kuroo

Lev and Kenma wake up from their trance

„Haha Hinata chill“ Kuroo laughs and CAUSALLY crosses his legs

„CHILL. THIS WAS REAL LIFE PORN?“ Sugawara screams

„I thought you’d know that this wasn’t porn?“ Akaashi laughs

„ ITS NOT FUNNY. JUST look at poor LEV!“

And everyone does

And start laughing

„Uhm I go to the bathroom real quick“ he gets up and runs out of the room

„Have funnnn“ Kuroo teases

„Now Hinata can I get y/n back?“ He smirks

„NO!!!“

„Omg Hinata let me go“ you laugh and walk over to Kuroo who pulls you in his lap for REASONS

„You ruined her !!“ Hinata whines

„I, for once, need to agree with him“ Daichi

You just roll your eyes and look over to Kenma

„Hey Kenma? You okay?“

No answer, Kuroo waves his hand in front of his eyes

Still no reaction

„WOW you BROKE HIM TOO!“ Sugawara complains

Lev’s now back and he can’t look at you anymore after what he just did and most importantly what he thought of

„Why too?“ Kuroo asks and looks around the room just to see most of the others showing no reaction and are rather red

The rest of the evening was quite chill

They decided to play some games

And Kenma lost all the time?

Lev was having a pillow on his lap the whole time

And Hinata was questioning reality because he felt stuff he shouldn’t feel because of you? But now he does and grabs Levs Pillow.

Daichi and Suga are discussing how’s the best way to have THE TALK with Hinata and probs also Kageyama judging by the look on his face.

#haikyuu hinata #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hc #haikyuu!!#haikyuu requests #haikyuu reactions #haikyuu lev #lev haiba #haikyuu kenma #kenma headcanons #haikyū!!#haikyuuwritersnet

230 notes · View notes

kingsofneon · 4 years

Note

ayyy its me coming in here!!! i have no requests off the bat but uhhhh ok ok hear me out. acesabo but with like. a finger kink or something? like, long pretty fingers fingering the hell out of each other or just sensually sucking on it, idk, i'll let you decide. OR, more expansion on robinkoalasabo, blease?

look okay look im just. vibing with sabo/ace rn so i gotta talk abt them but real quick i love argumentative best friend/enemy / qpp koala/sabo and both of them liking robin, LMAO !!!!! bitch!!! that shit’s hilarious. robin i think would be uhh....unused to such honest attraction? yah sabo’s a lying liar but there’s a difference in his...sarcasm vs his “I’m telling a lie so you don’t know the truth I dont want to tell you”, is what i think. so idk in what i set up i guess we have ko/ro first and Kinda girlfriends (im.....ded for fro/bin tho soz so absoLUTE we have not-yet-together-kinda-feelings-but-complicated-bc-trauma robin/franky + bc theyre not together the...flattery + enjoyment of koala’s personality and company...) friends w/ benefits didn’t-really-date but like each other a lot. and koala so sunny and happy buuut also spending Lots of time with robin - just hanging out but also sexy fun times - and sabo’s like “no I’m not sulking shut the fuck up” (but he’s totally sulking because he Liked robin too, she was someone he respected highly and she! knows! luffy! he doesn’t say anything to her about it bc he’s guilty as fuck but. boii wants those strawhat stories and he can’t sneak them out of her with koala taking up all of her attention.)

koala picks up on his grumpy mood but just figures he’s being a dick abt smth, but robin’s like nah look, pattern, and koala’s like oh. OH?

idk what they do but w/e we be vibing with nsfw, which is sabo’s. sabo’s fucking fingers man. the tensile strength. BUT ALSO he’s not very delicate, not very good with flexibility, so robin,,ho fuck boi. when against koala the dichotomy of the roughness vs that clever stroking, but then also bRO im thinking about sabo viewing masturbation etc. pretty clinically and also Be Careful Of Strength, ain’t gotta lot of time to jerk off when you’re running the revolution u know.

so like the first time robin tops im fucking laughing. koala’s probably just as rough/efficient as he is but robin...robin can unlace him in like a minute flat and figures out real quick that sabo likes being edged. the first time robin touches his prostrate..........boi.

anyway omfg that was longer than i thought so hand kink + sabo/ace

FIRST

if you haven’t read.......second chances (https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495015?view_full_work=true).........what are you doing. look at this shit:

“You want to watch me jerk it like this?” The buckle rattled with Ace's gesturing, and Sabo's eyes immediately fixated darkly on the belt. “Then I uh, I get to make a weird request too.”

“If you must,” Sabo replied, sounding the exact opposite of beleaguered as he discretely wiped the spit off his palm. Ace cleared his throat.

“Put on your gloves.”

Ace refused, refused to look away from the devious delight spreading across Sabo's stupid face.

“Oh Ace,” he purred, those damn fucking gloves appearing in his hands out of nowhere (did he have them tucked in his pockets this entire time?). With deliberate motions, Sabo smoothed the leather over every finger, and flexed, like he was about to whip out one of his ryusoken moves. “Are you sure you just want me to jerk off in these?”

“Well if you've got any lube tucked away,” Ace shot back, “now's the time to pull it out, put on a good show.”

Sabo's consequent exhale was nowhere near the flippant-and-suave chuckle he had clearly been aiming for. Smugly, Ace counted a point in his own favor before dropping onto his back and finally—finally—undoing his pants. As his own belt fell with heavy thumps to both sides, Ace brushed aside all the pesky cloth, and applied pressure in earnest with a sigh of pleasure.

and this

And boy was it a view. The gloves were incredibly well-worn, molded so tightly to Sabo that Ace could see the full articulation of his fingers' every curve, every bend. The buttery leather, lighter in color at the fingertips, glided over Sabo with the barest whisper of friction. Ace could see his grip change, pressure shifting as he held himself tighter and tighter, grunting in frustration.

“Can I take these off?” Sabo finally requested with a hint of a whine. Ace suddenly thought of Marco, and how he might smirk at that tone, if he was here. “It's not working for me.”

“It's working fine for me,” Ace did his best to leer, thoroughly enjoying his own bare hand's capacity for friction. Sabo made another sound of protest, and Ace gave in with a snort. “Fine. Just one hand.”

“It's all I need.” The right glove disappeared as fast as it came, and Sabo arched high and satisfied into his own hand, now skin-to-skin. He obligingly let the gloved hand remain in play though, skimming teasingly up and down, grinning sharply at Ace's open mouth. “Hey,” he ordered, “go faster.”

AND THIS!

“Anything you want,” was Ace's breathless answer. He didn't stop, even sped up, gripping hard and fast and chasing that finale. “You can have it from me.”

“I would chain you down,” Sabo snarled, practically a threat, only the blade was turned wholly inward toward himself. Like he was daring Ace to give him absolution. “I would bend you 'til you're ready to break, and keep you there for hours. I would make you beg for release, but deny you anyways. I would see your skin dark with my bruises, I would, I would—”

Ace's hands twisted hard against his binds, wanting genuinely to be free of them for the first time since they started this—and Sabo's reaction was instantaneous. A flex of haki into his fingers, and Sabo was slicing through the leather of his belt, letting Ace loose with an expression of terror.

And Ace dragged himself across the bed until he could cup Sabo's cheek in his clean palm and pull Sabo into a biting, filthy kiss. He was still hard as sin, and thrust forward into Sabo's hands to let him know—

“Anything,” he panted into Sabo's mouth, meaning it with every fiber of his being. He didn't mean for Sabo to cut open the belt; he had just wanted, so badly, to feel Sabo's touch. “You have me.”

bitch. bitch.

idk just gonna write some prompts bc this looks long

sabo + jerking ace off while wearing his gloves + barely washing them (to ace’s embarrassment) bc he claims he likes having evidence of ace. they’re usually kept for when he’s at home tho, sabo’s gross but not that gross ;p (and ace would probably die LMAO)

SORRY BUT THE POST I JUST REBLOGGED ABT HOLDING YOUR THUMB DOWN TO HAVE NO GAG REFLEX UM. Ace says he wants to try it but it feels weird so sabo’s like. ;) okay and runs his fingers over ace’s mouth, tapping and instructing him to hold his thumb down. tracing his teeth and teasingly not dipping his fingers down low enough, till ace glares at tries to argue smth like “this is not testing the trick” but that’s when sabo presses on his tongue, down his throat, and ace half-chokes on it. sabo just like ‘not like you have much of a gag reflex anyway’

was thinking abt this the other day but ace doing sabo’s nails and then being like dont ruin them! no touching until they’re dry but sabo’s like but idk when they’ll be dry???? bc he’s never used nail polish before and ace is like :) better not touch then as he teases sabo

ace ofc painted them gold and red bc theyre His Colours and the next day when they’re dry and pretty sabo spends ages running his hands against ace’s skin, fascinated and worshipping of how pretty ace is

before they started dating and when they were bad at handling alcohol, sabo kissing ace’s knuckles made that boi CATATONIC, his wrist would also make ace bolt bc Horny, he’s fucked when sabo kisses his wrist it’s just too...intimate.

headcanons, headcanons, they’re both pretty calloused in different ways...ace is like rope burns and shit, longer across his palm and knuckles, sabo has palm base bc of his pipe, but they’re confined, and then on his fingertips bc of dragon claw. AGAIN thinking about mr fast fuck brutality here like the STRENGTH in that boy’s hands wtf

ace’s hands have more scars, sabo has more callouses/micro-deposits bc he knows hand to hand/doesn’t start with a DF.

idk where im going with that last one guess it’s just headcanons abt hands.

that’s all fox, i like the number eight and i have so many other asks to do lmao

#dirtyshankings #saboace #saborobinkoala #saroko #bleh what a gross acronym #lemons #not sfw #i need to figure out a n/sfw tag that ppl can block that tumblr wont k-word me for #opnsfw #answered asks

22 notes · View notes