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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 11 months

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I'd love to hear about what type of pets that each skeleton would own, what the skeletons would name their pets, and if they chose between adopting from a humane society or buying from a pet breeder.

Undertale Sans - A parrot or a cockatiel! He loves birds and will teach them to ruin the life of everyone in the house. If he ever adopts one, it will be from a humane society. He would probably give it a pun name.

Undertale Papyrus - He kinda adopted the annoying dog on the Surface, now walking him in the street and all. Sure, he is embarrassed when the dog simply absorbs a public bench in public, but he is kinda attached now??? His name is just Dog. Not very inventive, but it seems it's the only name the dog answers???

Underswap Sans - He's not a big fan of classic pets. He would much rather have a snake or a spider. He's more a breeder type, as he wants very specific animals. He gives them sweet ridiculous names like Cookie or Cupcake.

Underswap Papyrus - He adopted three labrador dogs on the surface and he is always with them. In the house, there's more chance falling on him hugging his dogs than his S/O lol, and he's one of the most cuddly skeleton. He found them in the streets, it was a litter, and he never gave them back. Their names are Ramon, Dapper and Pomme.

Underfell Sans - He's not the animal type, but if he ever finds a stray cat or dog, he will end up keeping it because he is way more soft than he thinks he is. Like Sans, the poor baby would end with a pun name.

Underfell Papyrus - He has two cats. Doomfanger, who he adopted Underground as a baby, after she fell from the Surface and Stormbringer, a kitten he adopted in a humane society he was working for. Edge is also a foster parent for orphan kitten and very old cats.

Horrortale Sans and Papyrus - They have a farm, so quite a lot of animals, added to random stray cats or dogs Oak brings home and decides they're his. They all have a name, but it's usually common names, like Carrot for a rabbit or Nugget for a chicken...

Horrorswap Sans - He has a service dog, Harper, who helps him in the everyday life with his missing leg.

Horrorswap Papyrus - He has a service and emotionnal service dog as well, he named her Antoinette, that helps him to prevent panic attacks and calm him down when something triggers him so much he loses sense of reality.

Horrorfell Sans - Nah, not the type to have animals. He's fine on his own, he doesn't want anyone to ever depend on him ever again.

Horrorfell Papyrus - He still has his Doomfanger, who is an old lady now. He is fostering feral cats in his garden as well, feeding and neutering them, and assuring their protection.

Swapfell Sans - He is kinda the second family of the neighbour's cat, he named Karen bis. Nox is not supposed to feed it, but man, those eyes... He can't refrain himself, and yes, maybe, he let the cat spend the night in his house one or twice... Or more.

Swapfell Papyrus - He has a goat, Spencer. He won her as a price in a contest, as a baby, and he raised her. He made her a little shed in the garden and he's walking her like a dog.

Fellswap Gold Sans - NOPE. No pets allowed at home.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He tried to sneak different animals in, but Wine always find them and asks him to give them back :(

Outertale Sans - He has a parrot, King, who sings crude songs and says bad words. His old owner taught him to do that and no one wanted him to the humane society because of that. Moon thinks it's funny.

Outertale Papyrus - He has stick bugs to entertain the kiddos he's keeping at home. It's not moving much, it's silent, best choice possible. They don't really have names though. There are so many and they all look similar.

Dancetale Sans - Nah, he's too busy to take care of an animal properly. Maybe in his old days when he retreats.

Dancetale Papyrus - Same than his brother. He loves to pet the neighbours dogs and sneak them in his garden when they're not here though.

Dancefell Sans - He has a german sheperd, Cerise. That's her baby, he dresses her like a princess all the time. He finds her in the streets.

Dancefell Papyrus - He has a border collie, Socrate, who is part of his dance show. The dog is very receptive to all sorts of tricks so Tango taught him how to dance. They're entering contests every year as well. He bought the dog to a breeder.

Farmtale Sans and Papyrus - Well obviously, they have a lot of farm animals, and three barn dogs who are living with the sheeps. Their names are Stitch, Lilo and Simba. They're mostly Ben's dogs.

Mafiatale Sans - He has coi karps in a huge tank in his basement. He loves to watch them instead of working. They don't have names though.

Mafiatale Papyrus - He has a fox, Bleach, which he found in the forest one day and raised by hands. No one knows he has one and he's not supposed too, but who's going to tell a member of the mafia it's wrong?

Mafiafell Sans - Fang has lots of dogs, staffs and pit bulls who are working dogs mainly, but he's living with them at home and loves them all. They are all girls, and they all have a little name: Princess, Love, Sweetie, Mary, Snow, ... He is a breeder.

Mafiafell Papyrus - He has a persan cat, Hellbringer (which he also nicknames "My sweet little baby princess"), he adopts to a breeder. She is her sweet baby and he would die for her if she asks it. It can be surprising to see the boss of the mafia talking with a stupid voice to the cat.

Ink - Nah, his memory is too bad anyway, he would forget it somewhere.

Error - He has two goldfishes, they don't have names. He found them in an empty universe and kept them for some reason. They're entertaining. Their name are Blank and Space.

Disbelief Papyrus - He has a small pug named Aurora. He saved her from a neighbour who was abusing her. He was not supposed to keep her, but he got too attached.

Dustale Sans - A pack of wolves adopted him in the forest thinking he's a kind of weird looking dog.

Killer Sans - He has two rats, Baghera and Baloo, and he's walking them in his pockets all the time.

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basil-the-bulbasaur · 10 months

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To no one's surprise, I have not finished the first part of the Hadestown AU, so here's team rancher designs.

[ID: Drawing of Jimmy holding a wooden bucket, his expression looks shocked. His clothes are reminiscent of ancient Greek clothing: white fabric covering his shoulder and torso, tied with a blue sash. He is wearing more modern pants, a blue neckerchief, brown gloves, and yellow tinted googles on his head. He has bird feet, clipped yellow bird wings, and the silly little feathered ears. To the right of Jimmy there are sketches of bird feet. End ID]

[ID: Drawing of Jimmy and Tango sitting on the ground hugging, Jimmy facing away from the viewer. Tango's head is buried in Jimmy's shoulder and his legs are wrapped around his waist. Jimmy's outfit is the same as in the previous image although the different angle shows that the white fabric wraps around his neck without covering the rest of his back, leaving room for his now slightly charred wings. Tango is wearing black pants and red boots. He is wearing a black chlamys (cloak) over his red shirt rather than a vest. He has red tinted googles on his head and red fingerless gloves on his burnt hands. In one hand he is holding a goat horn, although the view is mostly covered by Jimmy's wings. In the background is a messy graphite sketch of the burnt ranch. End ID]

[ID: A drawing of Tango standing with one hand outstretched as if reaching for something. He is drawn as a pointy humanoid packrat. His outfit is much the same except without the googles or boots. His shirt is longer and more chiton (tunic) like, it is cinched under the breast with a black belt. In this drawing his chlamys is pinned by a half-red, half-black heart shaped brooch. His hands are burnt, as well as part of his snout, on Tango's left arm the burn scars go far enough up his arm to be visible past the glove. Sculk has started growing on his feet and tail. The end of his tail is yellow-orange and vaguely oak-leaf-shaped. Around Tango are a variety of graphite sketches and notes written in cursive. To his lower right it says, "Accidentally drew him way too tall, whoops". Above him is a note that says, "Goats: stag beetles". To the left of his head is a sketch of the warden, and below him there are two sketches of the warden labeled, "Mole warden?" To the right of his head is a sketch of a kukri knife. End ID]

They will be drawn as rats, because I'm me, and I already have rat designs for nearly every life series character, but very few human designs. But I started making designs specifically for this AU during the 1 week since March that I drew humans, so you get human (kinda) drawings.

The first 2 drawings are yellow-life ranchers. I don't know why I did that; they aren't going to be yellow at any point in this comic. But the third is red life tango.

The first part is going to be 6 pages and they've already been sketched out, so hopefully I can get it out soon (although my friend/beta reader/person-who-listens-to-all-my-rantings keeps telling me to "not overwork myself." sighs/(light hearted)).

#trafficblr #traffic smp #trafficshipping #that hug might be the gayest thing I've ever drawn #traffic smp fanart #jimmy solidarity #tangotek #team rancher #ranchers duo #team ranchers #solidaritytek #double life smp #dlsmp #dlsmp fanart #hadestown ranchers au #oh! funfact: I forgot to draw tango's gloves on the poster #I'm currently ignoring that #attacus the artist

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thejunkyardafewblocksfromhere · 1 month

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Feels like when I try to stretch my legs Everyone around me's trying too So ready just to fall down, just to fall down And to stay down I don't want to spoil the view -Sudden Oak Death, The Mountain Goats

#Star vs the Forces of Evil #Star Butterfly #Sea Horse #Talon #Princess Pony Head #Quirky #Kelly #Jorby #Rich Pidgeon #Eclipsa Butterfly #Queen Eclipsa #The Right Way #Sudden Oak Death #The Mountain Goats #star vs the forces of evil season 4 #Star vs Text Posts

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 2 years

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Me: *knows nothing about fairies*

You: *writes an entire drabble Soulmate AU revolving one*

Me: I have no idea what's going on but I'm here for it.

So as a prompt, maybe how Jason fucking Todd ended up in the world of the fairies? Or like how he and fairy!reader met? (Also is that the tag name? Legit am blanking)

"What the-"

The lights in the distance bobbled and wove patterns over the ground and if he listened, very closely he could hear the sound of flutes... or something like them; the sound was tinny and almost jaunty but there was an underlying melancholy. Something like he'd never heard before.

It drew him forward. A curious trepidation coursed through his body. He followed the lights, sliding through the graveyard like a ghost. Thoughts of defacing his tombstone sliding away.

Until he came to the oak. A gnarled, twisted thing. Bare branches with a few stubborn leaves clinging on- a last reminder of summer. Crunchy and transparent in the moonlight. And beneath it- the most inhumanely beautiful creatures he had ever seen. A man with the legs of a goat and the head a torso of a man. A woman with a smile of shark teeth and green skin, eyes black as ink.

"You're a pretty one," she crooned, beckoning to him. And despite his desire to stay rooted, his legs obeyed.

"There aren't supposed to be metas in Gotham," he sputtered. Trembling as her nails rent the fabric of his thermal like wet paper.

"Metas," she laughed, "Do you hear that, Randalo? The fair folk are lumped in with those mortal science experiments."

"A pity," Randalo answered. His voice rasped like a rusty saw on wood. "What is your name pretty one?" He advanced and Jason couldn't breathe. The smell of apple and summer grass making him audibly moan as the goat man brushed the white lock of hair from his eyes.

"Jason," he managed, leaning into the touch.

"Our mistress would find you pleasing, I think," the woman breathed. "Would you like to meet her, poppet?"

"Yes," he said. Anything to please them. Anything to have them like him. And when the goatman offered him a hand, he took it. Following them into the oak. Leaving behind the graveyard. The warm, syrupy golden light folded around him like the baby blanket he didn't remember having.

#Jason Todd #Jason Todd x reader #faerie!reader #ask answered #minors dni

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kneamet · 2 years

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Can you maybe write some more for patrick mckenna and roman sionis ? Like anything you want:)

I really can't find much fics that stay true to cannon patrick and there is not much for roman either

crown of thorns

Trigger Warning: angst, obsession, drabble, fanaticism, quoting the bible

Word Count: 644

Character: patrick mckenna/reader

crown of thorns

It had been raining continuously on the tiles and plank roofs for several hours — the Vatican was rarely shrouded in smoke, fog, and even more so a slushy downpour. The always clear sun hid behind the menacing clouds that descended over the houses. Patrick, every time flinching at a lightning strike or the sound of a thunderstorm, as if driving nails, looked out the window, hesitantly averted his gaze. His white-knuckled fingers were clutching his mother's cross, his head was bent down; he was talking to God, revealing his whole essence and intentions.

His secrets are sealed in an envelope that will open only at ascension. To touch the miracle, people will run to him, they will mock him, and he will watch the crying women and fall. Very soon the chosen one will appear to amuse the audience; many tears will be shed on Via Dolorosa and Patrick will step on them without shedding his own. His naked body, charred hands will carry the miraculous cross.

An impatient doorbell rang, repeated several quick times and interrupted the calm silence of a modest one-room apartment. Patrick was alarmed, alerted, his hands tensed. He was leaving the table, touching the towel, and now a couple of minutes later she was sitting in front of him — a cute, drenched angel, lost in her own desires, not knowing who to believe in and who to believe in.

He did not drive out the one who came to him. She was sitting in front of him on the bed, in wet clothes and bare legs, looking around — noticed three apples on the kitchen table, pomegranate, bread. Patrick was leaning towards her, kneeling, whispering something softly. Your sneakers were left near the front door, your socks were wet. With a towel wet from the water that Patrick used to wipe your feet, carefully washed each finger. He was silent, but his stomach was still burdened with an unpleasant feeling - would it really end so quickly? His death, which ended with ulcers on his body, holes in his palms, will come on Friday. His soul will ascend to his Father, Patrick is worried about this, and he will take his darling from the very hell; she will wait for him in the cold and eternity.

At her blows, he turned his left cheek, listening again and again to the scientific ideas spread by Langdon. The sinful heart of Patrick knew about the evil intentions spread by the professor, the defiler of the church. His angel listened to him, and he, like the devil, brought doubts into her soul, corrupted her. She was reserved, beautiful — dove’s eyes her, hair is like a flock of goats, going down from Mount Gilead, lips are like a strand of scarlet, and her mouth is lovely.

He traded an olive branch for a crown of thorns. The light of the last bulb went out in the languor of self-immolation, Patrick learned to live in fear all his childhood; he ate ashes like bread and dissolved drinking with tears. He had a zealous love for his angel with the appearance of a malicious succubus, and love covers a multitude of sin. Memories of the oak grove, clothes created by his mother, flashed through his thoughts; a twelve-year-old boy appeared in Patrick's dreams, training adults.

He looked into her eyes — doubts swarmed in her like bacteria. In the legs there is no truth and very soon she would betray him; the devil would strike her like David Goliath. Patrick, like the Lamb of God, will endure all trials.

Patrick's dreams were to become the Messiah, but the spirit of the morning star was reflected in him. He broke the grail, throne of thorns and a cradle of bones have been waiting for Patrick for a long time.

Tomorrow the beloved traitor will reward him with a kiss.

the drabble is completely based on the moment in which jesus washed the feet of his disciples (here patrick appears as сhrist, and the reader is judas), and it was very interesting for me to write it. @moonchild-cupcake i hope you liked it and patrick's character was like in the canon! but if not, then i can write something else for you.

i think that the rest of the works on patrick will be about the same; to be honest, bible stories fit very well on him and i don't understand when people don't use it. like, damn, you watched a movie about a fanatic, why don't you take religious stories?

:_) in general, yes, something like that. the next job, most likely, will be a work on mark renton and no longer in the form of a drabble.

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thejudeduarte · 21 days

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I ship u and oak 💖🐐

YES GOAT LEGS FOR THE WIN ✊

#oak greenbriar #oakwren #tfota #the folk of the air #tsh #tpt #the stolen heir duology #<3 #court of shadows #:)#🎀

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apocalypticavolition · 10 months

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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 21: Listen to the Wind

Once again, I feel obliged to warn you lot about the fact that this reread is going to be filled with spoilers for the whole book series, some of which will be completely irrelevant to the chapter at hand if previous entries are any indication. If you're the sort of person who doesn't like this, run away!

This chapter's got Moiraine's staff for the chapter icon, which reflects the fact that she's going to be giving Nynaeve a lot of info this chapter, including about her gimmick with the coins that the boys have already tossed away.

Sunrise creeping across the River Arinelle found its way into the hollow not far from the riverbank where Nynaeve sat with her back against the trunk of a young oak, breathing the deep breath of sleep. Her horse slept, too, head down and legs spraddled in the manner of horses.

It's basically our last new POV of this book, barring a really brief Moiraine bit at the very end. I saw someone else note that we get Perrin and Nynaeve's POVs in this book to supplement Rand's because they're basically having the same arc as him of being forced to leave home while Egwene jumped at the chance to have an adventure (and actually has a good time in her section) and Mat's being corrupted by the dagger. This checks out, though I don't think any of the books to come have the same kind of thematic consistency with their POVs. Even New Spring has the brief Siuan POV.

“They know the smell of who they want,” she told her horse, standing in the hollow, “and it is not me. The Aes Sedai is right, it seems, the Shepherd of the Night swallow her up.”

Don't worry Nynaeve, you'll see her in Shayol Ghul soon enough.

Gotta say though, the fact that the Trollocs didn't even try to eat Nynaeve is borderline out-of-character in my book. Sure, she's not the target, but she's an ally of the target. And anyway, they're hungry bastards and why would Ba'alzy say "leave literally all of the others alone"? I just don't get it.

At intervals she found tracks, plenty of them, but usually her best efforts could not say whether those who made them had been searching or chasing or pursued. Some had been made by boots that could have belonged to humans or Trollocs either one. Others were hoofprints, like goats or oxen; those were Trollocs for sure. But never a clear sign that she could definitely say came from any of those she sought.

Speaking of things I don't get, I refuse to believe that Nynaeve can't Sherlock Holmes her way into identifying everyone's current locations based on a single footprint. I'm much too much of a Nynaeve stan for anything else.

“There was no clear sign of the boys, or any of the others. The tracks are too muddled to tell anything.” In her concealment, Nynaeve smiled; the Warder’s failure was a slight vindication of her own.

Okay I guess I'll allow it, but only because she's still Lan's equal at least.

“Don’t try to evade it. You know what I am saying. If those thousand were here to be sent into the Two Rivers, why were they not? There is only one answer. They were sent only after we crossed the Taren, when it was known that one Myrddraal and a hundred Trollocs were no longer enough. How? How were they sent? If a thousand Trollocs can be brought so far south from the Blight, so quickly, unseen—not to mention being taken off the same way—can ten thousand be sent into the heart of Saldaea, or Arafel, or Shienar? The Borderlands could be overrun in a year.”

I'm so proud of Lan for being one of the few characters in the series for telling an Aes Sedai that he won't accept blatant dodging of topics in conversations. I get why more characters don't try it - they respect Aes Sedai too much or are afraid of having the Power wielded against them - but it's still refreshing.

Lan's worries about these things are rather hilarious in hindsight, because in a year or two the city of Maradon will be completely overrun by hundreds of thousands of Trollocs and the Ways don't seem to be the least bit involved.

The Ways are closed, and there has not been an Aes Sedai powerful enough to Travel since the Time of Madness. Unless one of the Forsaken is loose—the Light send it is not so, yet or ever—there is still no one who can. In any case, I do not think all the Forsaken together could move a thousand Trollocs.

So Moiraine is just wrong across the board here. The Ways aren't closed, plenty of Aes Sedai are powerful enough to Travel, the Forsaken are loose, the Forsaken together could easily move numbers of Trollocs well beyond a thousand, but they wouldn't use Traveling to do it because that kills the Trolloc.

Lan had spun to face the tree as soon as Moiraine’s eyes moved; his sword was in his hand before she finished speaking Nynaeve’s name. Now he sheathed it again with more force than was strictly necessary.

*waggles eyebrows*

How do you think I knew you were behind that tree? If I had not been distracted, I would have known the moment you came close.

I warned you about getting distracted, Moiraine. You're lucky Lan's still alive!

That said, it's interesting that the senses aren't perfect. Moiraine didn't ping on Nynaeve immediately in Emond's Field for example, and she wasn't distracted then.

She licked lips gone abruptly dry. They were both looking at her, the Warder’s face as unreadable as a stone, the Aes Sedai’s sympathetic yet intent.

Has Moiraine had "the talk" with many sparkers over the past twenty years? Is she just sympathetic because she's technically a Wilder herself? How much of her talk of Nynaeve's denial is something she went through in between sparking and telling Laman's Aes Sedai about her gift? Why did we get a prequel novel that told me nothing about Moiraine's court days, which are fucking fascinating by virtue of involving Cairhienin scheming and being almost completely unknown to us?

You felt nothing special at the time, but a week or ten days later you had your first reaction to touching the True Source.

Moiraine, people in your era measure weeks in sets of ten days so your statement is very redundant! (This particular detail Jordan doesn't seem to come up with until very late, Crossroads of Twilight was the first glossary I saw use it after a cursory and haphazard skimming), so frankly it's not even early book weirdness, it's anticipating late book weirdness.

Also note that Rand did seven days for his first onscreen channeling, so Jordan probably figured it was his first use of the Power and thus his feeling the Fade in chapter one was something he didn't need the power for.

You used the Power to Heal either Perrin or Egwene at some time. An affinity develops. You can sense the presence of someone you have Healed.

This though, this is early book weirdness and will never come up again. I wonder why Jordan included it and what circumstances he thought it might be useful for later. Frankly, I'm glad to see it gone.

Aes Sedai search for girls who can touch the True Source unguided just as assiduously as we search for men who can do so.

Maybe on average this is true (in that the generic Aes Sedai puts 0 effort into either), but frankly the Red Ajah puts way more effort into the male hunt than anyone puts into the gal hunt. I guess speaking of early book weirdness, you really get the impression in this book that the White Tower is supposed to be actually kind of competent? Borderlanders respect Aes Sedai, which would make more sense if the Green Ajah did anything. Wisdoms are back country professions, which would make more sense if the Yellow Ajah had a presence in more urban areas. Moiraine's broad education feels like Tower training, which would reflect well on the Brown. And so on and so forth.

Mistress Barran’s first apprentice had died the way the Aes Sedai said when Nynaeve was still playing with dolls, and there had been a young woman in Deven Ride only a few years ago. She had been a Wisdom’s apprentice, too, one who could listen to the wind.

This is good foreshadowing for the later revelations that the Two Rivers is a hotspot for channeling. And since Moiraine said three in four die, and we've got four gals with these two examples, we can see that Egwene is statistically dead meat if she doesn't get to the Tower soon.

She doesn’t want me along. She’s trying to put my back up so I’ll go back home and leave them alone with her. “Oh, yes, I will be going with you. You cannot keep me from it.” “No one will try to keep you from it,” Lan said as he rejoined them. He emptied the tea kettle over the fire and stirred the ashes with a stick. “A part of the Pattern?” he said to Moiraine.

Nynaeve is hilariously weak to Moiraine's reverse psychology. She'd shout "Duck season!" and shoot herself in the face if Moiraine wanted her to. Meanwhile, Lan's just going, "Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes" but trying to play it cool. "Please say she can come," is what "A part of the Pattern?" means.

“He is only a few miles from us. But I cannot afford to take the time. He should make his way down to Whitebridge safely now that the Trollocs have gone. The two who went downriver may need me more. They have lost their coins, and Myrddraal are either pursuing them or else trying to intercept us all at Whitebridge.”

"A few miles" being too much of a detour at this point is just weird to me. I think the Pattern's keeping her tunnel visiony so that she doesn't interfere with anyone's needed development, but still. There's no reason to think that the brief detour for the isolated boy isn't worth it with the stakes being what they are. This is where being calculated breaks down: once you start using bad assumptions and equations to choose your actions, you're going to start spiraling out of control quickly.

Light, a Wisdom is supposed to look after all of her people. Why do I have to choose like this?

Because you're not supposed to be a Wisdom anymore, Nynaeve. Like Rand, she's heavily in denial.

It would have been a small boost to her spirits if there had been even a trace of gloating on his face instead of that insufferable stony calm. His eyes widened when he saw her face, and she turned her back on him to wipe tears from her cheeks. How dare he mock my crying!

Nynaeve can be just as unreliable a narrator as Mat because of her assumptions about everyone. Lan's incredibly stoic, so his being shocked at coming back to Nynaeve in tears under these circumstances suggests that either she's a huge mess right now or he really cares about her emotional well-being already. Or both.

The Aes Sedai was so confident in her power and her plans, she thought, but if they did not find Egwene and the boys, all of them, alive and unharmed, not all of her power would protect her. Not all her Power. I can use it, woman! You told me so yourself. I can use it against you!

I know why it didn't happen, but I am a little disappointed that Nynaeve never got to throw down with Moiraine like she wanted. It would have been epic. Ah well, there's always fanfic.

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #nynaeve al'meara #moiraine damodred #lan mandragoran

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ask-de-writer · 2 years

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IMMORTALITY? A Grumpy Goat *tail* (Part 3 of 3) : MLP Fan Fiction

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to MLP Fan Fiction

Return to The Annals of Grumpy Goat

IMMORTALITY?

A Grumpy Goat *tail* (Part 3 of 3)

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

7865 words

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Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions. I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.

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Attempting to ring the church's bell had caused a swarm of hornets nested in the steeple to dive into the congregation. The resulting panic left several unconscious ponies near trampled in the church. They alone had no stings!

Sawnax got a big spread of pictures by himself. Fleeing with the rest of the congregation, he got stung twenty or more times on forelegs and neck. The mobility cart ramp was too steep and he lost control, careening through a hedge laced with poison oak and poison ivy, he hit a family on their way to a picnic in the park and overset, banging up his good hind leg in the process.

The family was not hurt, beyond a few bruises, but their picnic basket and contents were ruined. Among the pictures were some of the fallen Sawnax rummaging the wrecked basket and scarfing sandwiches.

The entire collection of Celestian priests got out without a sting. They fled through a back door, overgrown with the new ivy. Poison ivy, that is. They might as well have painted themselves with the itch causing, blister raising, oils.

To cap the disaster, some ponies working in the church kitchen fled and left a stove burning. The resulting fire was a Special Procedures 23 - Toxic smoke requiring evacuation and decontamination of the downwind area.

As Romaine observed, in print, it was not as bad as the Ponyville Elementary School disaster of years ago, which Sawnax was also involved in. *(for details read Caramel Treat's Lunch!)*

We kept finding more and more to giggle over as we read Romaine's excellent prose. She got almost the entire Special Edition because she “just happened to be on the scene as the disaster unfolded.” With her camera!

As a side note, the fire spread through all of the ornamental shrubbery and the up the walls of all the Celestian buildings. All of the poison oak and poison ivy infestation was burned out, along with destroying all of the structures involved.

Clarence and I gave a High Hoof to each other! Frankly, it went even better than we had hoped. Not one pony killed or even seriously injured but LOTS OF PAIN in lots of butts, and elsewhere, of course.

We both gave Coalsmoke a hug of congratulations. Her enthusiastic return hugs made the whole enterprise worthwhile.

The next day, we were sitting out in the sun, looking over the Ponyville Books and More listings to pick out our next Daring Do book.

We could hear them even before we saw them. It was a regular parade coming up the trail. Coalsmoke grinned as she caught sight of them. She offered, “Grumpy, you should get that trail paved! I would bet that Clarence could give you a special deal on good intentions to do it with!”

To make things perfectly weird, the leader of the parade was not using the trail. Derpy was flying, low and slow, so that the others could follow. She landed on the ledge without hesitation and carefully opened her mail pouch. Ceremoniously she handed me a letter. The envelope had a well known seal. Almost every pony or horse in Equestria has seen it. Darn few have seen or handled an ORIGINAL ROYAL SEAL of the Twin Thrones of Equestria.

I did not have time to open it just then.

The clowns arrived to put on their show!

Celestian High Priest Hortimer was almost unrecognizable under the mass of bandages and itch relief creme. The remainder of the priesthood were too. It was obvious that the treatment was not helping all that much. Which suited me right down to the ground.

There was Sawnax in his mobility cart, being pushed by two husky ponies. He had a cast on one hind leg and thick bandages on the other. His rump was swollen and covered with plasters where boils had been drained. Both forelegs and his neck were covered with the lumps of hornet stings. Covering almost all of stings and swellings were the rashes and running sores of the poison oak and poison ivy.

There was another group in formal mourning attire. They were accompanied by Mortimer “Mortician” Mollycoddle, D.E.L. (Doctor of Equestrian Law), who was looking sour.

The one who seemed out of place was wearing the uniform of the Ponyville Fire Department.

The act was led off by Hortimer demanding, “You must heal us of this vile result of your Necromancy! Your evil burned down our church!”

“Hortimer, ol pony! Necromancy is against the Law! Magic, in general, is not. Be clear. How could I cast any spell against you? A Pure and Honest Heart is absolute protection from all the influences of the Evil One. As if evil has some one simple spring outside of themselves and ponies are innocent of harboring rot in their minds.

“You are a personal and perfect refutation of your own claim.”

Hortimer gesticulated at his fellow priests. “We are grievously afflicted by your evil magics and Necromancies!”

My fleshless skull, which should have been expressionless managed to convey complete confusion. “What evil magic, Horty, ol pony? You knew that your church was infested with poison oak and poison ivy. Every reader of the Prancer knows it too. The news went public on Nightmare Night.

“You and your fellow con artists ran through a known hazard and got a case of poison oak. That is your definition of evil magic and necromancy? You do a stupid thing and therefore it is some EVIL GOAT'S fault? Wow.”

As I was shaking my head, I noticed that we had company. Just down the hill, Romaine was snapping away with her camera and taking notes. Clarence managed to utterly fail at looking innocent.

The stallion in the PFD uniform spoke up, handing me a document as he did so, “Grumpy Goat, Sir, the Battalion Chief wanted you to have this to defend yourself from baseless charges like the ones just made. This is the formal investigation report on the fire and surrounding events.

“The entire thing, including their rashes, was caused by their negligence. The details, including all of the ordinances relating to publicly accessible buildings that were violated is here.”

Hortimer looked horrified. “How could you say that this disaster is our fault? We were victims! Just look at us!”

Coalsmoke said acidly, “Look at you? Why? You have always been so ugly that the bandages are an improvement! And you are still ugly!”

That brought a reaction from one of the group in mourning clothes. “You and that damned goat murdered my dad!” He was pointing dramatically. He waved a copy of Coalsmoke's contract with me and yelled, “Here is the proof! Dad found this and made a secret copy!”

Coalsmoke looked utterly pained as she replied, “How is that proof of anything? Secret copy? Just go to the Ponyville Hall of Records in the City Hall. There is a publicly registered copy there for anyone to look up. Grumpy's Contracts are ALL publicly registered.”

I was even more surprised when Mort spoke up. “I do represent the heirs of Clyde S. Dale, but this part of the case is baseless and I have so advised them. You are correct. They are due a substantial sum from his will.”

Coalsmoke nodded emphatically. “They are. They are getting over half of it. The insurances were formally changed to my name and they knew it. I have copies of the acknowledgements.”

Mort nodded. ”I am aware of the issues. I have advised them not to sue on the insurances. Their waivers are clear.”

One of the ones in phony mourning demanded, “Whose side are you on? We hired you!”

Mort, imperturbably replied, “Yours. Coalsmoke is an expert at these things. I have examined your case and hers. She is taking care of you through the will. She has made no effort to cut you out.

“This will come as no surprise to you, but Mister Dale was terminally ill, with a failing heart. His sudden death was probably a mercy.”

“So, dad was dying, we all knew that! We takes all that insurance money that she is stealing from us! She done nothing for it!”

Mort told him bluntly, “I have told you that I am on your side. This advice is as direct as it can be. If you try to sue her, you will waste what you are going to get from the will and wind up owing her a large indemnity. That is a simple fact.”

I was taken aback. Mort the Mortician was an HONEST LAWYER? The world was capsizing!

That was when Sawnax spoke up in a pitiable tone, “That there stuff is all well and good, but what about me? I gots the same rashes and all that Hortimer and the other priests got and was stung besides! I got TWO bad hind legs now, too!

“I thunk you said that I could do whatever I done before. I done break my leg trying. Then they was the boils. I gets that took care of but they still hurts until they heals!

“I is in a lot of pain!”

I knelt in front of the mobility cart to face him eye to eye socket. “You dictated most of what is in the contract, Sawnax. You wanted to live a very long life. You wanted your mind to stay sharp. You wanted to be able to do and enjoy what you could at the time that we signed.”

I sighed. “You are getting all of that. Immortal is NOT invulnerable. It has one advantage in this case. When you heal, you will be just like when you started. It will just take time. Sadly, one of the things that you enjoyed was and is swiping lunches and otherwise cheating. Banged up, dazed and dumped out of that cart, you found sandwiches that were not yours. Scarfed them up, too.

“All inside the contract.”

He turned misery laden eyes to me and asked, “What can I do abouts this? It ain't none of it workin' out like I thought.

“It hurts.”

Said it before. I am honest. Evil but honest. He did actually ask for advice. “You only have three things that you can do here, Sawnax.

“First, you can simply let the contract run. If you do, you will have the least trouble if you do your level best to be a good pony, living a good and honest life. You will have good times and bad. That's life. A long one.

“Second, you can simply repudiate the contract and take the lifespan that you are given, free to do or be whatever you want. You will probably live longer if you follow the advice of your doctors. You lose your money paid but that is all.

“Third, you can commit suicide. You still lose your money but you are out of the whole suffering thing.

“Experience talking here, immortality is not all fun and games.”

He nodded and said softly, “I needs to think.”

I simply backed away. As I did, I saw the pony in the PFD uniform talking to Hortimer. He had a paper. When I heard, “But surely, as a church, we are exempt!”

The PFD pony politely replied, “I am afraid not, Sir. You maintained a nuisance and failed to either report it or let the city know what efforts you were taking to eradicate the nuisance.

“Under both ordinance and Kingdom law that makes you responsible for all costs connected to it. We have decontamination efforts under way at seven residences and five businesses that were downwind and contaminated by the smoke from the burning poisonous plants.”

Hortimer pointed dramatically at me and exclaimed, “He must pay it! He cursed us with those diabolical plants! It is his fault!”

“Me? You mean that if cash is on the line, I am mightier than the Goddess that you worship?”

“Do not blaspheme! Of course Celestia's Power is greater than your mere diabolic dabbling!”

I laughed as he was trapped by his own reflexive arguments. “So, it is your responsibility after all! Celestia must be gravely disappointed in you for trying to shift the blame!”

His horrified expression was almost reward enough. Almost. I had to add it. “You did not need me to clear up the poison oak and poison ivy after all! Celestia's Holy Fire has removed it all!”

That did it. Delightful.

Sawnax said, “That was sharp, Mister Grumpy. I probably gots no right to ask it but if I repudiates the contract, would you do me one favor? You is getting to keep a lot of gold.”

“What favor is that, Sawnax?”

“Can you, like, speed up my healing some? This is a real misery.”

“I can do that, Sawnax, but I will lay a heavy one on you for it. You must stay honest and not cheat anypony, horse or goat until you are healed.”

Clarence had his wings up and his teeth were chattering as he giggled.

Derpy tugged at my foreleg. “Mister Grumpy, about the letter, will there be a reply? It is post paid by their Highnesses.”

With Clarence, the Litch King and Coalsmoke looking over my shoulder I opened the letter.

“To Grumpy Goat: Hail and well met!

We, your Princesses, have heard rumor of you practicing unlawful Necromancy. We have looked deeply into the matter and have found no evidence of such criminal activity. The casting of Glamors and other such magics is perfectly legal.

Further, we have found that you have honestly registered all of your contracts, which appear to be in the form of bets that certain events will happen within set time frames. You hold the stakes and, if you win, keep the coin.

It is a remarkable coincidence that ALL of your contracted events have happened as spelled out. Always through some routine or other natural means.

With your consent, we should like to visit your cave to discuss a few such “bets.”

Yours, Celestia Yours, Luna.

As Derpy flew away with my reply, Clarence and Coalsmoke both suffered major giggles.

~THE END~

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#IMMORTALITY?#Part 3 of 3 #MLP Fan Fiction #The Annals of Grumpy Goat #Written by De Writer

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praisethelorde · 2 months

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Both Oak and Dain had horns, goat legs, blonde curly hair and the same eye colour but NONE of us realised they were father and son. Not even the book characters.

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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 7 months

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skellie has a kid whos into quads, and their pretty damn talented. but its gotten to a point that the kid can jump 2x's over the skellies height.

how would they react if the kid just randomly jumps over him?

Undertale Sans - I mean, Papyrus can do that too so he's not that surprised. Things are so weird in his family that he just assumed it's a thing all skeletons do except him for some reason? It's not? Uh. He needs to think about this.

Undertale Papyrus - Yeah, well, he can do this too! Papyrus can even just fly out of nowhere if he wants to. He guesses his kid got the best of his DNA even though he's a bit concerned about how high you jump. Don't break your leg, please.

Underswap Sans - He's not jealous or anything. He can do very cool things as well, you're not special. What is it with kids disrespecting their elders' cool abilities? The kid argues they said nothing. Blue scowls them for answering back to him. Yeah, he's totally jealous.

Underswap Papyrus - He is slightly concerned about this. Sure, it's pretty cool and his kid is destroying that Karen neighbor's kid at basketball, but, uh, he's not sure it's normal they can jump that high. Maybe he should ask Undyne for some advice. Just in case it gets out of hand. He has enough anxiety for now.

Underfell Sans - Uh. He turns towards S/O and frows at them. S/O rises an eyebrow. "What?" "are you part rocky mountain goat?" "No? Are you?" "... no?". Weird. Maybe he should check if Toriel didn't do something to his DNA. After all, she is part goat, right? That must be her fault, somehow. She always hated him.

Underfell Papyrus - Well, he raised that kid so of course they are phenomenal. He can't wait for all the Karens at school to cry like babies when his baby will destroy their hopes and dreams by winning all the sports competitions. He wants them to complain so he can destroy them afterward. He encourages his kid 100%.

Horrortale Sans - That's for sure useful when Willow puts something out of reach so he doesn't get it. Oak doesn't hesitate one second to use his child to piss off his brother by getting things he's forbidden to touch lol. That's his new favorite game.

Horrortale Papyrus - He ducks every time his kid jumps above him instinctively. Please stop scaring him like this! He's old and that's scary, one of these days you're going to get hurt and he's going to have a soul attack. Please stop doing crazy things in the house anyways, you're going to make a hole in the ceiling! Again!

Swapfell Sans - He's annoyed about the child jumping over him because it reminds him he's small, and he hates when people use his smallness to do things like this. One of these days, a bone will be on your way and you will fall face first on the floor, and you'll deserve it.

Swapfell Papyrus - He grabs the kid's legs midair and puts them down to bully them. The child growls, angry he broke their fun. Rus says that if he can't do that, the child can't do it either. He wants to have fun too.

Fellswap Gold Sans - It despairs him how that could be a good fight strategy but you using it just to annoy him by jumping above his head. These kids these days, they lost all knowledge of good fighting lessons. He's in old grandma mode.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - It startles him every time and he's not good at being scared. It also often ends with the kid being startled as well and falling straight on his head as Coffee falls on his butt. Please, can you just stop?

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #sans #papyrus #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

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murshili-ii · 1 year

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May Day special: Old Man of the Forest

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Our eighteenth Spring Vignettes piece celebrates May Day, on May 1st.

Before you read what the piece was intended to portray, share what it portrays to _you_. I’m just the artist; you’re the beholder.