Shower [a man] with all earthly blessings, drown him in happiness totally up to his head, so much so that only little bubbles leap up to the surface of this happiness, as they do on water; give him such economical satisfaction that he would have nothing at all more to do than to sleep, to eat gingerbread and to trouble himself over the ceaselessness of world history – and then, right there, this man, from ingratitude alone, from calumny alone, will do something nasty. He will even risk his gingerbread and will purposely want the most pernicious rubbish, the most uneconomical nonsense, solely in order to mix into all this positive prudence his own pernicious fantastical element. It is exactly this, his fantastic dreams, his most vulgar stupidity, that he will want to hold close to himself for the sole purpose of confirming to himself (as if it were really necessary), that people are still people and not piano keys upon which the laws of nature play with their own hands, threatening to play them so much that it will be impossible to want anything that is not according to the calendar.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

My life [was] gloomy, disorderly, and solitary to the point of savagery.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground (trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky)

I lied I don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on. Let’s discuss Dostoevsky.

I wanted "peace," to be left alone in my underground world. Real life oppressed me with its novelty so much that I could hardly breathe.

~ Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

dostoevsky was so funny in the sense that he’ll start a story/novel by saying “and please forgive me if i’ve omitted important details or facts, but if i mention everything with full explanation i would fill a very large volume!” and then describes every little thing, emotion, feeling and thought his characters are having like yes king !! go off the rails !! oh you’re saying 400 pages aren’t enough for your little story?? no worries!! cause we don’t mind reading a 700+ page retelling of a story !! people in their teens and 20 somethings yearn for your writings !!!

"...is this who I really am?" - Yoon Jongwoo, Strangers from Hell (2019)

[ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground// untitled sculpture, ceydajeevas on instagram// Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis// Strangers from Hell (2019), dir Lee Chang-hee// Bora Chung, Cursed Bunny// Monster (2004)// Hieu Minh Nguyen, Elegy for the First// Perfect Blue (1997), dir Satoshi Kon// Naoki Urasawa, Monster (1994-2001) ]

so i made a thing

“My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.” ― L.M. Montgomery

Painting by Liza Sivakova

A man is so prone to systems and to abstract conclusions that he is prepared to distort the truth on purpose, prepared to deny the visible and the audible just so he can justify his own logic.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

...it is in despair that the most burning pleasures occur, especially when one is all too highly conscious of the hopelessness of one’s position.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground (trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky)

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

“I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.”

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

there's something about Dostoyevsky characters suddenly bursting into tears that just hits different