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mashiraostail · 4 years

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Can I get Gang Orca, Aizawa, Present Mic and Midnight with an S/O who gets really awful nightmares and has a hard time coming out of it when they wake up? (Needing to be reminded where they are, getting sick, etc?)

yea for sure!! thanks for the req! ((me appearing and spamming as a treat for writing a whole paper in one sitting)) TW vomit mention under the cut

Kugo Sakamata: Kugo always knew you to be a restless sleeper, ever since you started spending nights together he’d often wake up with you in a far different position from the one you’d started the night in while he stayed mostly unchanged. He didn’t attribute it to much beyond normal variations in the way people slept, of course until you started having the nightmares when you were in bed with him. He wasn’t a particularly deep sleeper, though he’d adjusted well enough to your tossing and turning, but the gasp and the way you seemed to spring up from bed was unusual enough to stir him. “What’s the matter?” He turns over to face you. “No-” You’re shaking your head, “no, no, no, no-” “Hey.” He sits up, “hey you were having a nightmare, you were just having a nightmare it’s okay, it’s fine-” He reaches out for you but is careful not to touch, the last thing he wants is to startle you anymore. “No-” You say it again, “no no I don’t I- what’s going on?” You didn’t look like you even recognized your own bedroom or your own boyfriend for that matter, and he was hard to forget even on his worst days. “What’s happening- who- I-” You look around nervously, hands clamped into two tight, shaking fist. “You were just asleep,” He tries to calm you, to pull you back down to earth, “you’re in bed you’re with me. It’s just Kugo. You know who I am, It’s Kugo. Say my name back to me, take a deep breath.” “Kugo?” Your eyes are wet with big blobs of salty tears when you look up at him and your lips are chewed bright red. But you sound so happy to see him as if you didn’t get into bed with him barely 5 hours ago. “Yeah, it’s Kugo.” He soothes, honestly a little bit relieved himself, “it’s just me.” You grab ahold of his wrists where they hover in the space between your bodies and he takes that as an invitation into your space, pulling you close to him, under his arm, and into his chest. “Just Kugo-” You barely whisper it and he nods and offers a quiet hum of affirmation, he other arm coming around you, “it’s just me and you. Whatever it was it’s over now, it wasn’t real. It can’t hurt you, I’m here.”

Shouta Aizawa: Intentionally or not he usually stayed up a fair bit later than you, sitting up in bed getting some last-minute grading or paperwork done for the next day while you snored beside him, sometimes curled up around his waist, other times not. He noticed a fair bit about you in these times, you talked in your sleep, sometimes indiscernible mutters, but other times they were clear and obviously distressed. In these times he’d usually just put a hand on you, not to wake you up just to ground you, it usually worked in quieting you. You also moved around a fair bit, he didn’t think much of it though, and if you were a little too restless for his liking he could normally wrap and arm around you, or throw one over your stomach and it’d keep you in place fine. Though tonight you seemed to be sleeping fine. You were laying on your side next to him as he sat up, cross-legged, and scrutinizing Mineta's mostly illegible handwriting, they really need to have a talk about this. If you didn’t look so comfortable he’d wake you up and ask you to give reading this a shot, you were better at it than he was, but you really did look all too comfortable. Until you were shooting up like your life depended on it, chest taking in a huge heaving breath. Honestly, it started him, he dropped the paper, and the small stack beside him fell onto the floor with his pen. “Oh my god,” You gasp, “holy fuck-” “Hey, it was just a-” “No.” You shake your head, “no, no I can’t do it-” threading your fingers nervously through your mussed hair, “I can’t do it again I can’t go back in there I’ll-” you choke on your words. You looked thoroughly lost, totally confused, unsure of everything and so utterly panicked by it. Like you were about to drown despite the lack of water surrounding you. Tears fell freely, easily, like they’d save you somehow, like a lifeline. He couldn’t begin to imagine what you’d seen. “Hey.” His voice is loud, but firm and grounding, “look at me.” You jump at the sound of him, you were so confused you couldn’t even feel his presence beside you and look over to him. “It was just a nightmare. You’re safe.” “Where am I-” You just looked more panicked at the sight of him, like he was some stranger you’d met at a bar and not your partner of multiple years, you looked at him like he was a major miscalculation on your part and not the guy you were constantly grinning at and confessing your love to. “We’re at my place.” His voice gets softer now that he had your attention, the last thing he needed was to frighten you anymore. “It’s Shouta hey, you know me. Come on, you know me, remember? It’s just Shou, that’s all. I’m not gonna hurt you.” “Shouta-” The sigh that leaves your lips is borderline heartbreaking. The way your face shifts from that resentment from before, the nervous confusion and anger to the sheer thankfulness on it now is enough to make him think whatever you dreamed about must not have been too far from what had been a reality for you before. You looked at him like he’d saved your life. “Yeah, that’s it, Shouta. It’s only me, you know me. Remember?” “I know you.” You nod as his hand comes down on your back. “It was just a dream. Just a bad dream.” He squeezes your shoulder and lets you fall sideways onto him, “a nightmare.” His arms come fully around you. “That’s all it was. It wasn’t real.” He presses his face into your mussed hair, “it’s just me and you, nothing’s gonna hurt you, it wasn’t real.” Hizashi Yamada: You were a notoriously uneasy sleeper. Hizashi was a notoriously deep sleeper. Honestly, it was a match made in heaven if you asked anyone. Sure you’d go to sleep at night all cuddled up to one another but by the next morning one of you would be fully on top of the other, you weren’t sure who the drool on your shirt belonged to, but you didn’t really care either way. Hizashi knew you had the occasional nightmare, but he figured most people did. He knew he’d had his own fair share of them, especially in the years after he graduated high school. He didn’t mind being shaken up by you if you were nervous or upset by a bad dream, he thought it was cute honestly, even in his groggy and tired state. But you didn’t wake him up tonight. He was a deep sleeper sure, but if you got out of bed without telling him he’d wake up for sure, the lack of your presence was louder than any cars honking outside or noisy neighbors stomping around above. When he rolled over and didn’t have something solid to grab onto of course he woke up. What else was a guy to do? He sits up. “Hey, babe?” He calls it into the empty room, voice gruff and thick with sleep. There isn’t a response. “Babe?” He’s a little worried, it is his job to assume the worst-case scenario, even if he isn’t as gloom and doom as some of his colleagues his mind always goes there first too. When he hears coughing it doesn’t do much to help. He gets out of bed and rubs his eyes which are still bleary with sleep, though the rest of him was alert as normal. The bathroom door is wide open, and the light is on. “Hey, babe are you alright?” He doesn’t wanna look inside, so he stops a little behind the entrance, “can I come in?” It sounds like your sick, which is worlds better than his previous worst-case scenarios. He can hear the heaving, groaning, “I’m coming in okay?” Sure enough there you are, on the ground by the toilet, one arm slung over it as you returned all the contents of your stomach to the world. “Hey, god why didn’t you wake me up-” He’s rushing to your side but you don’t look happy to see him at all, instead you’re scrambling back into the wall. “No please I-” “Hey, what?” Hizashi holds his hands up in mock surrender, “I’ve seen worse than vomit it doesn’t gross me out if you’re worried-” “go away please I can’t do it I-” “Do what? Babe, what are you talking about?” You don’t even look like you know who he is, it’s like you’re seeing a totally different head on his shoulders or something. Whoever you’re seeing, you don’t like them one bit. “Babe it’s Hizashi-” He holds his hand out to you, “what are you so afraid of? There’s no one here but us.” You just lurch back to the toilet bowl. “I’m gonna touch you, okay?” He pins some stray hairs behind your ear, dropping a hand onto your back, rubbing long soothing strokes there as he presses a kiss to the curve of your shoulder. “It’s just Hizashi. You know I’d never hurt you, babe. You know me. ‘s Zashi, you remember now?” You’re nodding meekly into the toilet bowl at his words as your stomach clenches and heaves. “Hizashi-” You choke it out somehow, voice raspy, you just sound desperate for him, for help. “Bad dream?” He drops his forehead onto you and you nod again. “Must have been really awful, huh?” “Terrible.” You barely push the word out and wraps an arm around your back. “I’m sorry. Please wake me up next time, if you can, so I can help, just kick me or something it doesn’t matter.” You nod again as you slump back into him. “It wasn’t real. It was just a dream, it can’t hurt you. I’d never let anything near you like that again.” He presses his face into your neck from his spot behind you. “Let’s get you cleaned up and back into bed, that sound okay? A warm shower might help?” You nod again at that, “it might...I just-” “No, I know, I’ll go with you. I’ll stay with until you fall asleep again.”

Nemuri Kayama: She didn’t mind the tossing and turning, no, what she did mind was how upset you look when you did it. She tried to keep an eye on you when you went to sleep before her, to join you when you looked especially uneasy but she supposed there was no way to really be sure of things like this, the only person who knew when it was an awful nightmare was the person having it. There was no catchall, no surefire way to know how bad it was until you woke her up and asked her for help. But tonight you just shot out of bed, she hadn’t even felt you moving much before. “Angel-” She’s rolling over, groggy still but wanting to offer any comfort she can, it was habitual, but before she could get another word out you were up, “I’m gonna be sick.” You were off down the hall before Nemuri even knew what was what. She’s only a few seconds behind you though, as soon as she’s in the bathroom door saying your name you’re waving her away, shaking your head as you heave up your stomach contents. But it doesn’t feel like you’re embarrassed, it’s not a ‘go away I don’t want you to see me like this’ sort of thing...it’s like you’re afraid, a deer in headlights, confused and so awfully afraid of your own confusion. “Please leave me alone I can’t do it-” You warble it out helplessly like you were just a few grams away from breaking into a million tiny pieces. “No,” She tries to make her voice as soothing as possible, despite her own nerves, “hey no, I’m not gonna hurt you, or make you do anything you don’t wanna do.” She assures you, approaching slowly and kneeling behind you, “I wouldn’t do that to you, I love you.” You’re still shaking your head, eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t-” It’s barely a whimper. “You know who I am don’t you? Where you are? You’re with me, it’s Nemuri, we’re just at home.” She carefully touches your back, feather-light, “you remember? Nemuri? We got take out for dinner and decided to go to bed early today. Whatever has you so shook up..it’s not real. It can’t hurt you, you’re with me.” You’re holding your stomach woefully. “It’s me, Muri, say you remember, come on angel...” She rests her head against you. It’s familiar and mild, you relax at it. Slumping back into her. “Muri-” You hold her arms around you, “thank god.” You sounded so softened like she’d just rescued you from a burning building or something. “It was just a bad dream. A nightmare, that’s all. None of it was real, okay?” You nod weakly at that as you drop your head back, “god.” You groan, “I’m sorry to scare you like that-” “Come on, don’t be sorry about that. You’re the scared one here. I was just worried, it’s okay now though, you’re alright with me. Let’s clean up and get some real rest now, how about that?”

#tw vomit #aizawa shouta #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa x reader #eraser head x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #present mic x reader #present mic #gang orca x reader #kugo sakamata x reader #nemuri kayama x reader #midnight x reader #nemuri kayama #bnha x reader #bnha request

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pinky-the-elephant-room · 4 years

Text

Day by Day, Month by Month

AN: This is a server prompt for MHA & readers server which I own along with @liliesoftherain . It’s a soulmate AU with fem reader x mirio

Warning: Explicit sex with Mirio Togata, angst, with a bit of one sided enemies to lovers

Read the rest of the prompts here.

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June

Y/N gritted her teeth as Hado cheerfully loudly greeted Amajiki at 8 AM. All mornings were terrible for her, but Mondays were the worst. The fact that Hado had no consideration for other people’s nerves on an early morning, really, really made Y/N dislike her even more than she already does. And she already disliked her enough to ignore all of Hado’s many attempts to befriend Y/N. Especially when Hado figured that Y/N and her quirk were the same. Which is not true, Y/N’s quirk worked on the fact she could absorb small wavelengths of energy like incandescent bulbs, LEDs, or artificial lights that didn’t generate violet waves. Y/N then used that energy to make whatever she desired from beams to moving at lightspeeds using her absorbed energy. Nothing at all like Hado’s whatever waves.

Now there was a good reason to hate Hado and that reason was the fact she was friends with her mortal enemy AKA Togata Mirio. He probably didn’t even know she existed, but Y/N hated him since second year. First year, Y/N did the impossible with her difficult to control quirk as she absorbed the LED lights in the stadium to blast her way to 4th place in the Sport’s festival. 2nd year she didn’t even make it to the top 10 because Togata had knocked her out in the 1st round of the last tournament. Ever since then Togata Mirio had exploded onto the scene of U.A., he was praised universally, and all the 3rd years worshipped him like he was a god. Y/N’s grinding of her teeth became even louder as she thought of the blonde idiot. Yes, Y/N didn’t just dislike him, oh no she hated him with every fiber of her being. She might be called a monster for it, but what she wouldn’t do for a chance to wallop his idiotic face. Maybe even strangle him for a minute or two after getting a few hits in.

Y/N watched as the slouched, nervous boy with pointed ear greeted Hado back quietly and sat in his seat. See, she didn’t make a point to be rude to Amajiki. What would be the point of doing that when he was basically a scared rabbit? Even she wasn’t that much of a monster to destroy his badly needed confidence, so she mostly just ignored him.

Finally, the sensei had come in and all the student quieted down for the morning lessons. Y/N stood up and bowed as the class president called out the greetings and they all sat down when the teacher let them. Most of the morning passed by quickly as Y/N actually did pay attention since she had a couple of tests coming up, otherwise she would be sending texts to her best friend in 3B all throughout classes. The bell rang indicating it was time for lunch, sending a quick text to her best friend to save her a seat as Y/N needed to use the restroom. She took her time leisurely to wash her hands and straightened her school uniform and made sure her hair wasn’t mussed. She even reapplied her nude pink lipstick, before taking a quick selfie to send to her friend. Y/N walked out as she used the Line app to edit some cute stickers and added on the hashtag “felt cute”. She didn’t notice until it was too late as she crashed into a wall of muscles. Y/N bounced off their chest, and her phone scattered to the floor. Quickly grabbing the device, she made sure the screen wasn’t broken. A huge sigh left her, and she turned around to give that idiot a piece of her mind.

“You moron, can’t you watc-“ Y/N cut herself as she realized she looked into the eyes of Togota Mirio.

Her whole view disconnected and reconnected as both of their minds melded. Her feelings were no longer just hers, but rather a whole of synergy of emotions as both of their desires, wants, and even fears entangled. Why was she so angry most of the time? So afraid. So anxious. She was no longer alone because he was her-

Those thoughts disconnected as the meld ended, their connection broken. Y/N stepped back in horror. Oh no. Togata was her soulmate. She just found the one person who was supposedly the perfect match for her, and it turned out to the person she hated the most in U.A.

‘Fuck my life.’ Y/N thought. She quickly turned around, ignoring his very loud protests, sprinted all the way back to the 3rd year hallway. She sent a quick text to her friend saying she was feeling sick and was at Recovery girl’s office when in reality, she was currently hiding out in the girl’s restroom. Sitting on top of a covered toilet, she frantically searched the web for a way to get rid of one’s soulmate.

Y/N knew since she hit puberty the science behind soulmates. Basically, a body’s way of finding your perfect mate that will the create the most optimal offspring. When two individuals’ eyes meet, their minds would mesh and basically their souls would connect. Y/N had watched a health video in her junior high year as two soulmates would stand there make eye contact for 5 mins with large creepy smiles and hazy eyes. Basically, looking like two drugged out idiots before regaining their senses. She remembered thinking how dumb the two looked whereas everyone else cooed at how romantic it was.

As for their souls’ connecting, it was another sugarcoated way to say the two soulmates would share emotions. Even now despite being hopefully far away from Togata, she could feel his frantic worry causing her chest to burn. Y/N tried to sooth the pain with one hand and the other one scrolling through articles. Anything that could help get rid of the moron that was her soulmate. She didn’t know how fast the lunch period passed because she was reading articles when she got jerked out of trance by the bell.

Y/N aggravatedly sighed. All the damn articles were no help, they just kept spewing the gospel of soulmates and how 80% of all soulmates would succeed in creating a healthy, loving relationship. She scowled, the only thing she would create with blonde Astro boy will be a lawsuit after she kneed him in the family jewels. As the bell rang once more, Y/N got up and kicked the toilet out of pure frustration before sulking back to her classroom. She made it to her seat and slumped over her desk. Y/N rested her eyes for a few minutes as she could hear her fellow classmates make it back from lunch. She jerked out of her nap when she heard the familiar voices of Hado and Amajiki. Keeping a close eye on them without being obvious, she noticed how they didn’t acknowledgeable her more than normal.

Letting a sigh of relief, she relaxed knowing that Togata hadn’t let his friends know what happened in the hallway earlier. The rest of the classes continued as normal except for the occasional bursts of happiness and the need to laugh startling her throughout the day. Y/N scoffed, of course he would be happy whereas he continued to be her source of frustration. The last of the classes were soon over so she headed home on her own. Usually Y/N would walk with her best friend, but she had an appointment with the support department to fix her hero costume.

Y/N walked leisurely down the sidewalk, enjoying the warm sunny day when a voice called underneath her.

“Hey-“ A familiar blonde face appeared in the sidewalk. Y/N screamed and bunched her skirt together so he couldn’t peak at her underwear.

“Pervert! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she screamed as she stomped at the face.

“N-no wait! It’s your soulmate, Togata Mirio!” the face yelled desperately as he dodged her stomps.

Y/N paused in her stomps. “Well, that’s even worse than a pervert!” She resumed her stomps before giving up entirely and running away.

The next morning, Y/N used a baseball cap to keep her face from being visible and hopefully go unnoticed until she arrived in class. She didn’t need a repeat of yesterday. Arriving in class, she took off her the cap and settled in her seat. The morning lectures continued as she halfheartedly took notes and completed her assignments. Everything was going well until Togata walked in during lunch break.

Y/N jerked in her seat and turned away using her long hair as a curtain to hopefully escape his eyes.

She could hear Hado yelled out Togata’s name as the two friends conversed.

“Oh, this time I’m not here to hang out. I’m looking for Y/N. She is in this class, right?” She heard him ask.

Y/N looked up when she heard her name and saw Hado looking in her direction in confusion. She also saw Togata follow Hado and turn in her direction. Her eyes shifted to Togata, noticing the way his face lit up as he waved her over.

Y/N groaned. There was no way she could get out of this. She got up reluctantly and approached Togata, the entire class erupting in whispers and some of the girls were either giggling or shooting her glares. Y/N couldn’t help the flush, she never did like being the center of attention. Togota led her out of the classroom before pulling her aside in a nearby hallway.

“Look, I’m not sure why you are calling me out,” she began.

“I wanted to introduce myself.” Togata held out a hand for her to shake. “I’m Togata Mirio.”

Y/N stared at his hand in disbelief. “Of course, I know who you are,” she spat out.

“You do? I thought you ran away yesterday because you didn’t know who I was,” Mirio sheepishly said.

“No, I know. I ran away because I want nothing to do with you!”

“N-nothing? But I’m your soulmate, we should get to kno-“she interrupted before he could finish.

“No, No! And No! I wouldn’t want to get to know you if you were the last guy on earth. So, you better leave me alone!” she yelled. Seeing the shocked face of Mirio, Y/N felt satisfied that he had gotten the message and marched away to enjoy the rest of her lunch period. Still, she couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty when she felt the hurt coursing through Togata.

Meanwhile, Mirio shoved the hurt away and looked on in determination at the challenge that was walking away. Next time he wouldn’t let her walk away so easily, he promised as his eyes burned and sparkled.

July

Y/N drew a makeshift figure of Togata’s face on her notebook before she viciously started stabbing the drawing. ‘Stupid Togata, why can’t he get that he’s not wanted’ she thought. She threw a glare at the pretty arrangement of flowers on her desk. Every morning there was a new bouquet waiting for her on the desk. It attracted a lot of unwanted attention from her fellow classmates. At first, she threw all of them away in the garbage in a fury. But, over time the arrangements became more complicated and more beautiful than the last and her heart couldn’t bear the thought of throwing them away. So, she took it upon herself to donate it to Recovery girl’s office. She knew the older women appreciated them. Y/N saved the scattered chocolates in the bouquet for herself before dropping off the peony flowers at the Pro Hero’s clinic.

As Y/N walked to the lunchroom, she was interrupted when Togata came through the walls and in front of her.

“Y/N! Do you want to eat with me today? I brought a bento," Togata asked.

She looked down on her own bento and wondered how he knew that she was going to bring her own lunch today.

“Are you a psycho? How many times do I have to say no to you before you get it through your head?”

“I’ll keep asking until you say yes. I won’t ever take no for answer,” he cheerfully replied.

Y/N felt the fury inside of her build up and her face became tomato red. “Time to die, Togata.” She stepped towards him before tripping on her foot and her entire bento fell on the ground. She watched in shock at the hard work that had gone wasted and she turned towards Togata and sent him a death glare. Togata fearing for his life, slipped his bento into her hands before bolting out of the hallway. He activated his quirk and vanished through the walls.

August

Y/N panted as sweat dripped down her face. She’s never felt so tired in her life yet so energized. The roar of the crowd helping her forget the aches and pains of the fight. Togata wasn’t even winded as he stood across from her. This was the revenge she wanted. The second round of the battle tournament of the Sports Festival.

“Come on, Togata. Give me everything you have. Otherwise, I swear I won’t ever forgive you. I’ve given everything to be here. So, extend that courtesy to me,” Y/N said.

She knew he wasn’t taking her seriously. Though, she landed a few hits and gave 100% percentage to her energy attacks. She couldn’t say the same for him. His punches and his overall speed were too slow. She knew he was capable of being faster than what he was displaying right now. Her words affected him, as his face lost the pensive look and a look of concentration overcame it.

She remembered the humiliating defeat by him in second year. A blonde blur, a scream of “Poweeeerrr!” and Y/N was knocked out of the ring. She wasn’t even able to display her growth or how much she improved from the 1st year.

However, this year Y/N showcased everything she learned in U.A. and she showed everyone in Japan that Y/N was ready to be a Pro Hero. When she would lose to Mirio and she knew she was going to, Y/N had no regrets.

Y/N raised her hands to gather the energy from the LED lights in the arena as they blew out one by one overwhelmed by her quirk. She felt the energy rush through her body and readied herself for a charge at Mirio. This time she would lose on her own terms.

September

Y/N sat nervously on Mirio’s dorm room bed and watched as he scrambled around his room to get her birthday gift. She had gone home last weekend to spend her birthday with her family, so this was the only time Mirio had to give it to her. His relationship with her was still pensive. Y/N didn’t scream at him to leave her alone and she stopped calling him Togata. Most of all that bitterness dissolved after the Sports Festival, there was no reason to keep him at arm’s length anymore. Still, there was a degree of unsureness, Mirio being too afraid to set her off again and she too unexperienced on how to properly convey her feelings.

Mirio came back with a small gift bag that he held out for her. Y/N took and peered into it to see an assortment of chocolate.

“Remember how I would send you those bouquets and you never kept them except for the chocolate in it? I thought this time I would give you something you would want to keep.”

Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle. Mirio smiled goofily in return, satisfied that he had made her happy. She wanted to do something in return to show him how happy she was. Y/N leaned forward to kiss him on his cheeks, while at the same time Mirio purposely turned his face so she could kiss his lips instead.

The touch of his soft lips quickly made Y/N break contact. She turned her blushing face away and was about to quickly run out of his room in embarrassment, when Mirio grabbed her and mashed his face into hers. Their teeth clanged together, and it was soon clear neither had any idea on how to kiss.

Y/N pushed Mirio away and clutched her lips and teeth.

“Mirio! Why did you do that?!” She could feel embarrassment surging within him and a small ounce of shame for hurting her. Feeling bad for her overreaction, Y/N grabbed his hands and pulled him close.

“I-I think we should try again and maybe a little bit slower. Like how they do on TV dramas,” she said as she coaxed him into trying again.

Mirio gave her a small peck, withdrawing to see Y/N’s reaction. She nodded in encouragement, excited he continued to slowly give her kisses that caused her to chase him and eagerly respond to his ministrations. He caressed her cheeks and snaked his hand down to her waist to pull her close. Licking her lips and asking for permission to enter, Mirio entangled his tongue with hers as it sensuously made contact and cajoled her to respond. Following Mirio’s lead she responded back to each lick, feeling her body get hotter and hotter. Wanting to get closer to his body, she sat on top him and wrapped her legs around his waist. They continued to slowly kiss; Y/N liked this attempt immensely compared to their first one. Mirio wanting to feel her, grabbed Y/N’s hand and placed it on his member. Y/N curiously touched it, wondering what she was touching that was so hard and warm. She broke contact from his lips and looked down at her hand. ‘OH MY GOD. I’M Touching A MAN’s PENIS!’ she thought hysterically. She poked it a couple times, finding it rock solid and admiring the length of it. Her tiny hands couldn’t even fit most of it. Mirio startled her out of thoughts when he placed his hands onto hers and started moving them along with him.

“Like this, Y/N, ok?”

Y/N short-circuited realizing what Mirio was asking from her. ‘Oh god, we are doing this now? Are we going to have sex!! That thing is going to fit inside of me? I’m going to die!!’ her thoughts spiraled and made Y/N panic. She quickly disentangled herself from Mirio, ignoring his grunt and his confused call of her name. Y/N grabbed her gift, not forgetting to say a quick thank you to Mirio before hightailing it out of his room and back to the sanctity of her own dorm.

December

Y/N waited anxiously outside in the cold, windy afternoon. Yesterday’s snowfall had already covered the entirety of the park, most kids were playing in the snow. Either making snowman or trying to hit their friends with snowballs. She huffed out a few breaths, watching as her warm exhales became smoke. She overheard footsteps and saw Mirio heading her way. Y/N sighed, relieved that he had showed up. Ever since a month ago Mirio had lost his quirk and Sir Nighteye, he had been avoiding her. She wasn’t the best person when it came to comfort, so she figured he needed time on his own. But as weeks went by without any sight of his blond hair or blue eyes, she couldn’t help but worry. So, Y/N had tracked him down and called him out during lunchtime just like he did so many months ago and made him promise to meet at the local park so they could talk things out.

She stood up to greet him, but he just motioned for her to sit back down and took a seat besides her on the park bench.

“Hey, Mirio. How have you been? We haven’t talked in a while,” Y/N cautiously began.

“Well, you are my soulmate. You probably know better than me how I’ve been this past month,” Mirio said quietly.

It was true, she felt his sorrow and loss like an aching pain in her chest. Y/N knew he went around school acting happy go lucky, but she knew he couldn’t fool her or himself.

“That’s true and its probably why I was so worried-“ Y/N began.

Mirio interrupted, “Worried? Why? You must be happy that I lost my quirk. No more competition!” He let out a weak chuckle.

Y/N couldn’t help the hurt that rose in her despite it being a fair assessment. She had treated him terribly, the fact he was lashing out at her now just showed how much patience Mirio really had. She swallowed the lump that had arose from her needing to cry because this wasn’t about her or her feelings now.

She turned to him, watching as his face twisted with guilt and he opened his mouth. Y/N cut him off.

“I know. You can throw everything at me, Mirio. I will take it if that’s what it takes for you to feel better. I don’t know what to do or what to say to make you feel like your old self again. I’m not good at any of this. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to be alone. Don’t shut me out,” she pleaded.

Y/N saw the way the shine returned to his dull eyes and the soft blush that made its way to his face. He was looking at her like he had never seen her before. She could feel her own cheeks heat up due to the unnerving way he was looking at her. Mirio leaned forward as if to kiss her when Y/N put a hand to his chest to stop him and turned her face away.

“We can’t we’re in a park. There’s too many people,” she whispered.

Mirio let out a boyish giggle. “Right, sorry.”

She toyed with her fingers as a thought occurred to her. “Do you wanna go to my house instead? It’s nearby, we can warm up and get some hot chocolate.”

Mirio at the thought of seeing the place where Y/N had grown up shyly agreed. They both got up and walked for 15 minutes before coming to a modest house. She unlocked the outdoor gate and let them both in. They went up the steps before Y/N unlocked the door.

“No one’s home it’s just me,” she said as she turned the house’s light on and started to prepare some hot chocolate for them both.

Mirio made himself home in the living room as he snooped around and looked at the various pictures of a younger Y/N. She came back with 2 hot chocolates. Mirio thanked her and steadily drank the hot chocolate. Y/N sat next to him and observed him as she finished hers. Though, her earlier words lifted his mood, she could tell that her distraction was only temporary.

“Mirio,” she began as he looked up at her, “I wish I could do more for you. I feel everything, all your pain and I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I wish I can take it away even just for a while.”

Mirio looked at her seriously and put his drink on coffee table. He grabbed Y/N’s drink and put that on the table as well. She just looked at him in confusion as she hadn’t finished yet. Mirio grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. Y/N blushed at their proximity as her breasts were squished against his firm chest.

“I know what you can do for me, Y/N..,” he trailed off as he leaned in close to kiss her. She closed her eyes as his soft lips connected. She could taste the remnants of the hot chocolate on his lips as she desperately responded back. She clutched him tightly as she couldn’t remember the last time he held and kissed her. Y/N didn’t think it was possible to miss someone so much who wasn’t her immediate family let alone someone she used to hate. Her fingers dug into his soft hair as she tightened her hold and pulled. Mirio let out a groan in response and rolled his hips into hers. He disengaged from her and quickly kissed her cheeks, forehead, and nose in succession.

Mirio panted. “Y/N, please I need you.” She blushed as she knew what he was asking from her. “I-I’ve never…,” she trailed off.

“Neither have I, we’ll go slow. I promise I won’t hurt you,” he said. Y/N nodded, giving him consent. Mirio pushed back one of the curls on her face and brought her close enough for him to kiss. Giving a nip to her lips, he explored the inside of her mouth, still tasting the chocolate. She moaned into the kiss and messed with the hoody he was wearing, trying to get to the smooth skin underneath. He tried to help her take off while still kissing her hard. He broke away in frustration when the hoody wouldn’t budge.

“Wait maybe we should take this to my room,” she suggested. He liked the idea at least they would know beforehand if they were about to get interrupted.

Mirio tried to get Y/N to let him carry her bridal style up the stairs like in the movies, but she adamantly refused. She led them to a very pink and feminine room unlike the fierce Y/N he had gotten to know. Y/N stood in awkward silence not knowing what to do when they had arrived in the room. Mirio taking the lead, took off his hoody and his jeans. He immediately went over to Y/N to help her take off her clothes. She tried to protest but it got muffled by a kiss.

Hoisting Y/N in his arms, he dropped her delicately onto her bed. It was medium size just enough room for both. Mirio couldn’t help himself as he let his hands roam the entirety of her soft skin. Her heaving breasts caught his attention as she looked at him with dilated eyes. He tugged the cups of the bra just a tiny bit for her cleavage to spill over, He bit and sucked them, leaving red marks all over. Y/N let out a whimper as he continued his ministration on the other breast. Mirio moved her legs aside, allowing his body to settle in nicely between her thighs. Slipping his fingers into her panties, he immaturely explored her.

“Like this,” she said as she showed him what she liked best. Wanting to see all of her, he slipped off her panties and snapped off her bra with ease, tossing them somewhere in the room. The two teens continued to explore every inch of their soulmate. From the beginning they were connected by their minds and hearts, now they were crossing the final threshold of their bodies. Preparing Y/N had paid off as he inspected his fingers that were wet with her essence. Curious he tasted the wetness and discovered he liked the tangy flavor. He wanted to lick up all of it, to savor the taste, but that was something he wanted to try out in the future. Mirio shimmied out of his boxers as he lined up his member with her center. He felt her tense, so he whispered reassurances as he stroked her face.

Y/N felt his member slip a few times before he finally got it into her. The initial pinch startled her before she forced herself to breath and relax. Mirio didn’t lie, he went slow prioritizing her needs over his own. Y/N hardly felt a pinch when he broke through her membrane and filled her up to the brim. She raked her short nails down his back, causing him to buck into her. She gasped at the sudden movement.

“Y/N, don’t do that, love,” he panted into her neck. Y/N flushed at the impromptu nickname Mirio had bestowed upon her.

He waited a few minutes before trying out short, shallow thrusts to see if she flinched in pain and seeing her writhe and moan gave him the signal to move.

Mirio tried out different rhythms to see what she liked first, matching his thrusts to her reactions. When he lifted up her hips a bit and hit a particular spot that had her gasping and tightening her hold on the bedsheets, he hit that spot over and over in a frenzy. It wasn’t long before Y/N became a babbling mess as she came all over his penetrating member.

SLAM

Mirio lifted his head up in confusion when he heard the slam of a door and muffled talking.

“Y/N! Is that you? Okasan and Otousan are home. Come downstairs we brought food!” Y/N’s mother called out.

Y/N looked at Mirio in panic. She tried to push him off so she could get dressed and go downstairs to greet her parents.

Instead he held her hips tight as he slammed into her over and over, muffling his moans by biting onto her shoulder.

“Mirio! Ahh, what are you doing? We’ll get caught,” she said.

Letting her shoulder go, he whispered back, “just a little more I’m so close.”

When she didn’t say anything else, Mirio took as a sign to keep going so he chased his own pleasure. It wasn’t too long before he pulled out and came in the junction of her thighs.

Luckily for the teens, they were both able to get dressed and downstairs in time for Y/N to introduce Mirio as her soulmate. Her parents were delighted to meet him, and Y/N flushed with happiness knowing that her parents approved of him. Though, she didn’t notice how her mother kept sending them suspicious glances when she noticed the bite mark on Y/N’s neck.

March

Mirio’s tousan watched in absolute happiness as his son graduated from U.A. Who knew his son would one day graduate from the most prestigious hero school in Japan?

He looked around for his tall, blonde son as many graduates filled in from the auditorium outside in the sun to find their parents.

He finally found his wayward son and was about to call out to him when he noticed his son holding and teasing a girl. She seemed very frustrated, gesturing wildly and pointing at him in anger. Mirio just laughed and hugged her. What was even more astonishing was that Mirio kissed her forehead and the girl blushed and yelled at him some more before she stomped away. So that was his soulmate.

He remembered how his son came home one day in jubilation and explained everything in one breath. Though, Mirio seem to be disheartened when he explained how his soulmate didn’t seem to like him. Mirio’s tousan just laughed in glee and Mirio watched him in confusion.

He went on to explain how Mirio’s okasan hated him at first glance and threw a glass of water at him when she discovered her soulmate. He remembered how each day he would do everything to win her heart over and he encouraged Mirio to do the same. He smiled now knowing that Mirio had won his soulmate over just like he did his.

#mirio togata #bnha togata #bnha prompts #bnha imagines #bnha smut #bnha soulmate au #mirio x reader #mirio x oc #mirio x you #togata x reader #mha togata #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #bnha discord #server prompts

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ververa · 4 years

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Strong Enough

A/N: Okay, so my dear petals, this is gonna be a-few-part story. The inspiration for writing it was my own heartbreak and breakdown, but also some things that happened along the way. I hope that you will enjoy it and that maybe some of you can relate to it.

I’d like to dedicate it to everyone who has ever got their heart broken.

Last but by no means least, I’d like to thank my friends @emilyprentissisababe @misssmephisto @darling-dontforgetme @sarahsbabygurl @angel-of-me for being there for me <3

Part 1: Xandra x fem!reader

Words: 2.300

You had never been a huge fan of relationships. It’s not that you didn’t want to be in one - you did. You were just afraid of being hurt as you got your heart broken almost always. You were way too sensitive for all that and usually fall hard for people, so at some point you decided you’d be better by yourself. But then you met her…

Xandra came into your life when you less expected it. You didn’t think you would ever fall for her, as she’s far from your idea of a perfect partner. Yet she knew very well how to talk to you. She got to you and before you realized it you were bound to her. Everyone kept telling you that she’s no good for you. And deep inside you felt they might have been right. You felt like something wasn’t quite okay when you began having troubles sleeping and struggle to keep your emotions under control. Yet you were stubborn. It felt so good to have her - at least you repeated that to yourself. So, even though you were hurting most of the time, as crying became something normal - almost as brushing teeth every morning - you kept pushing yourself, because you didn’t want to lose her. Whenever you were sad and your friends tried to convince you to break up with Xandra you would take her side. You knew your relationship wasn’t all that healthy, but it felt good. It felt amazing to be in love. It felt wonderful to have someone with whom you could share your dreams, ideas, thoughts. Someone who was a part of your life and with whom you wanted to create the future.

It was detrimental to you, but you kept going further and further. You didn’t want to give up on her even when it’s hard to be around her. Xandra had her ways to get you do whatever she wanted. She had her own moods, desires, priorities, goals. She was a “conqueror”. She constantly needed to have something to achieve, because when she hadn’t she got bored. Xandra loved being in charge and you totally submitted, as you were sure that would make her happy and would let you keep her by your side. You were ready to do anything - whatever it took to make her satisfied, to make her believe you were worth her love and time. Whenever something was wrong you took the blame on yourself. You praised her and treated her as if she were a queen, even though you were falling apart from inside.

You gave her all of you. You gave her more than you could actually. But despite it one day she just decided she didn’t want you any longer. She told you that you were not the one and she didn’t love you anymore. And just like that she left. She took the best of you and left you all alone as if you were some kind of a toy that wasn’t trendy anymore.

At first you couldn’t understand it, but with time you began to realize how many signs you had missed. You were blinded by something that you called love. You wanted to be with her so badly that you stopped noticing she didn’t care. There was no affection or attention on her side. Xandra simply didn’t give a shit about you anymore. You had never really considered your breaking up, because for you she was the only one. You didn’t want to give up on her even when you were more hurt than happy. You had tried to reach for her so many times, so, when she actually left - it hit you harder than anything before.

You knew it’s bad, but you didn’t realize how bad. You stopped noticing most of the things and kept on blaming yourself. You felt betrayed. You felt awful - it even got to the point when you began to experience physical pain. It wasn’t just your mind and soul that were suffering - it was everything, all of you - your mind, soul and body. You had a breakdown and then got depressed.

You didn’t know what to do with your life. You didn’t know how to carry on without her, because you hadn't thought you would have to. You knew it wasn’t wise to need someone, as much as you had depended on her. You knew you had fallen way too hard and the worst thing about it was that, despite promising, she wasn’t there to catch you. And so you crashed. You felt like a clown for being this way. But no matter how hard you tried you simply couldn’t get over it just like that. You couldn’t act as if nothing had happened, because it had. It did happen and it broke you in all possible ways. You felt as if you had lost a part of you and that part was so huge, that you didn’t feel like yourself anymore. But even worse than that was the feeling of not being good enough. It just kind of made you feel like a loser.

You kept wondering how it was possible - to go from falling in love to falling apart so easily. You asked yourself how could have you been so naive and deceptive? You felt hopeless. There was no one to hear your SOS. No one to catch you. No one who could save you from what you had done to your poor heart yourself. You knew that you were the one who had to save yourself from a heartache and all the misery on your own, yet it was harder than it might have seemed.

You stopped in front of a mirror and looked at your reflection. You frowned seeing how miserably you looked. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, you had under eye circles, because of many sleepless nights. It had been weeks since you put on any make-up at all. You hadn’t worn anything, but some baggy T-shirts and sweatpants either. But you didn’t care. You just kind of felt like dying.

“You look like a shit, Y/N” you said to yourself “No wonder she doesn’t want you” you sighed

You spent most of the time in bed - just lying there and crying. Wondering what you did wrong, why weren’t you enough anymore. It had been almost two weeks since Xandra had broken up with you. She already moved on. She was happy and had a new someone, but you still couldn’t pull yourself together.

Every day was like a torture. A never-ending battle with yourself and your feelings. You couldn’t forget and you failed to understand how she could have walked away just like that. Where were those happy days? What happened to your love? You kept asking yourself. There were so many questions and doubts

“Y/N, you should eat something” your best friend said

“I’m not hungry…” you shrugged preparing some coffee

Caffeine was the last thing on the earth that kept you going physically, yet it’s far more worse mentally, because for that kind of pain there was no cure.

“You’re doing it again” she complained

“Doing what?”

“Punishing yourself for something that you’re not the one to blame for”

“I am not punishing myself…”

Deep inside you knew your friend was right. Maybe not exactly, but you indeed were destructing yourself. It wasn’t on purpose. You wanted to sleep, you wanted to eat and function as you did before the break-up. Yet, you couldn’t. Your stomach hurt for most of the time. Whenever you tried to eat something you felt nauseous. You did realise how it affected your body - you lost on weight and had no energy at all. You tried to pull yourself together, but you also didn’t feel like a person anymore.

You were drained - both mentally and physically. You were devastated and didn’t act like yourself. That made your friends worried. At first your best friend was sure it would pass soon and you’d get better with time. But weeks passed and your state was getting worse and worse. Luckily for you, you didn’t need to go to work for a couple of weeks, because if you had to, you would most likely lose that job. However it was different with school. You tried to get everything done, but it was too much for your exhausted mind and body. And so you totally messed it up.

Your best friend tried everything to help you, but nothing seemed to work. You’re getting thinner, paller, more tired. It kind of looked as if life was slowly living your body. You became totally apathetic. You paid no attention to anything - especially yourself. That's why your friend couldn’t just sit on her hands.

“Get up!” she yelled trying to make you get out of your bed

“What for?”

“We’re going to a party. Come on! Get up. You need to take a shower and put on makeup”

“I don’t want to…”

“But you need to. Come on, Y/N, you’ll feel better”

“Xandra didn’t like me going out”

“Because she was a possessive, devious bitch who wanted to control you” she snapped “Look, baby, I know it hurts, but she’s not here anymore. You have no one to be faithful to - only yourself. And you really need to pull yourself together, because I’m worried”

“It just feels weird… I mean going out on my own”

“Y/N you don’t need an owner. You’re fine on your own, remember?”

“Yeah” you nodded as your mind went back to the moment you - yourself said that

“Now drink this” she gave you a glass of water “And go get ready, cause tonight we’re having fun as we used to do”

You smiled and nodded obediently drinking water.

Your friend had no idea that the party would result in your entering yet another stage of your breakdown. She couldn’t have possibly known. Moreover it was really hard to say whether that phase was better or not. You began taking care of yourself again. At first everyone was sure you finally got over Xandra, but that was only an illusion. In reality you were still cracking from inside - more and more with every day, yet you decided to do something about it. Well, maybe not exactly about it, but you just wanted to stop feeling all those negative things. At times you thought that it was far more better to be numb, rather than experiencing all the sadness and misery. That horrible feeling of emptiness was killing you and you desperately tried to fill it with something.

At first it felt peculiar. You were dressing up, but not for Xandra. You forgot how that felt, the same as you forgot how it was to go out and meet new people. But you didn’t need much time to catch up on all that you had missed. You didn’t get better at all. Instead of crying you just started going out and partying. You began drinking and smoking more. You were meeting a lot of new people and spending time with them, but you didn’t even like them. You only wanted some distraction. You realized it was really selfish and it wasn’t like you, but apparently that was what you had learnt from Xandra.

From time to time you had those moments, when you were absolutely sure you got over her completely. You were perfectly able to be happy on your own. But every time you felt that way there always came a comedown.You might have been happy all day or even a few days in a row. Yet then you got even more depressed and vastly indifferent.

Rendezvous with bottles of alcohol of all kind, swaying drunk on the dance floor or flirting with newly met people - all that was for nothing. None of those things could cure you.

It was hard to be around you. You were pretty annoying and unpredictable. You were aware of how many bothersome situations you put your friend in, but you couldn’t stop it. It felt as if you were going from being totally in control to not being in control at all. You just kind of got lost deep inside and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t find yourself. It took you some time to realize there was no “you” anymore. However, your best friend was there for you. She kept taking care of you anyway, because she loved you as if you were her sister. That’s why she wasn’t going to let you totally lost yourself and waste your life for grieving over someone who wasn’t worth it.

It was one of those days that felt amazing, when you felt like old version of you. You were sure you got it and finally pulled yourself together. You were happy, you went out with some guys and got drunk. Then they offered you some "magical pills" as they called them and you obviously accepted, because you wanted to feel happier and didn’t want to think about Xandra. You had never thought that her being on your mind could be so detrimental and painful. You had never expected to experience such a heartache, when anything at all seemed better than experiencing your own feelings.You took the pills they had given to you and drank even more. You didn’t think at that moment. You didn’t consider what outcomes it would bring. It did make you kind of happy at first. You felt so free and light, but then all the negative feelings hit you all over again. And there you were - dizzy, sweaty, nauseous and broken even more - in the middle of the club. Somehow you managed to call your friend and that was all you remembered from that night.

#xandra #xandra x reader #strong enough #part 1/?#heartbreak

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nowaynoee · 4 years

Text

at least i got you in my head

also on ao3

the typical clichè: very gay Maya falls in love with her very straight best friend Lola but it’s actually easier than they think.

enjoy and feedback is always appreciated!

this work is inspired by this gifset 💜

She doesn’t know exactly when her feelings for Lola started to bloom.

For what she can remember, it happened quickly and her self control got thrown out of the window. Maya did try to repress them, to convince herself that she was just a whim and that sooner or later they would go away as rapidly as they came. Truth is that after almost four years her feelings are still there, strong and apparently irremovable. The thing is that while she’s confident about her being a loud and proud lesbian, as far as she knows Lola is straight, very straight, and she’s also her best friend. What a situation.

Maya met Lola the first year of high school. They sat near each other for a while before starting a conversation and as soon as that happened they got inseparable. It’s special the bond that keep them still attached even after years and both of them felt it immediately, since the first word spoken with a hint of shyness. Maya was there for Lola when her mother died and Lola was there for Maya when she came out to her foster family and they threw her out. Coming to terms with her sexuality was easy. She always knew she is attracted to women. Let’s say that when she met Lola, well, she had another confirmation.

Maya even lived with her for a short time, while she was searching a job and another place to stay. Probably the best moments of her life. She left school at the end of the second year, soon after she started working and living alone in the tiniest flat ever. Her friendship with Lola continued, maybe even stronger than before.

As said, she can’t remember the exact moment her feeling bloomed but she can remember that little istant in which she admitted to herself that no, Lola wasn’t just her best friend.

They were having a sleepover at Maya’s apartment, the very first time Lola slept there. She mocked Maya a few times about how small it was and she was right but in a way it felt like her little nest and safe place. They laughed all night long, eat here and there and did an extreme marathon of movies wrapped in a huge blanked, side by side. Maya was about to turn off the tv when she realized Lola already fell asleep and her head was comfortably placed on her shoulder. She gazed at her: her face was relaxed, her mouth slightly open and she was breathing calmly, the warmness of it directly on Maya’s neck. Lola looked beautiful like this. Maya lost herself for god knows how much to take in all the details of her. When she came back to reality, she knew. I’m in love with you . ...

Same bed two years later, she’s still in love with Lola. It’s summer and her duvet has been replaced buy just one white sheet. Lola is under it, her hair splayed on the pillow and her eyes closed in a deep sleep. The shine caused by the sweat looks surprisingly good on her and Maya has to hold herself back from caressing her cheeks. The outline of her small body is evident under the light fabric and the little top and shorts she’s wearing doesn’t help hiding it. Maya feels like a creep when she looks at Lola like this. It’s not like she doesn’t try to not do it, she does, but when you’re in love with someone you have an hard time with that. It’s even harder to accept that nothing is going to happen and you have to let go of the hope it will. She fantasizes sometimes about confessing to her, about finally be able to kiss her and call her her girlfriend. Lola lives in her mind rent free ans she wants to punch herself for letting her in in the first place.

...

“I hate it.”

This is the third outfit Lola tries for the night and once again she’s undressing only to redress again with another pairing. Maya gives her advices through it, her already having chose what to wear for the night. She knows Lola’s room by heart but every time she’s in it she always finds something new. A photo, a drawing, posters of her favourite bands. Is on those that she centers her attention while her best friend changes clothes because the view would be too much for her gay panic.

“What do you think about this one? ╴Hey? Earth to Maya?”

She turns her gaze towards Lola immediately, realizing only then that she has zoned out once again. “It’s very much your style.” She replies with a small smile curving her lips. There’s nothing special about what her friend is wearing, it being a normal pair of black jeans and a top that cuts right before her navel, still Maya can’t take her eyes of her. “I think I’ll go with this one, then. Do you still want to do my makeup and hair?” Lola asks her and Maya nods, sitting up from the chair and leaving it to her.

She loves this part of the preparation. Firstly because she gets to do what she likes and secondly because it allows her to be close to Lola without it being awkward. Sure, they cuddle sometimes but Maya always interrupts it as soon as possible: it hurts her to have Lola cuddled to her in that way. It makes her feeling want to erupt.

“Do you remember the last urbex party we went together?” Lola asks her, bringing up her eyes to let Maya putting the kajal on the lower rim. Maya does remember it, well even. It was three months ago. “You were so mad because you spent like an hour doing my makeup and the rain smudget it like thirty minutes after we arrived.” She chuckles and suddenly stops when Maya gives her a little punch to not mess up what she’s doing. “It was one of my best works! It looked so good.” because it was on you , she wants to say but doesn’t. Instead they keep small talking until Lola’s ready and they get out of her house.

…

The party is crowded, like really crowded.

Once they arrived they met up with Jo, Max and Sekou and headed directly to the bar. They all took something to drink while Maya, as always, decided for a simple soda. Maya doesn’t like dancing that much, she definitely enjoys more listening to the loud music and laying on one of the free couches. Max and Sekou usually stay with her while Lola and Jo get crazy on the dancefloor for hours. “ ╴so, no target tonight?” Max’s voice gets her out of her thoughts, at least enough to take a look at the whole place in search of someone interesting. It’s not like Maya waited for Lola all these years, at least not apparently. She had a few night stands and one relationship even. It didn’t last that long and plus, Lola hated the girl in question. They mocked each other all the time and they were practically in an ongoing competition of who knew Maya better. Lola won each and every time.

“I don’t know.” Maya answers because she really doesn’t. There’s really no girl that attracts her that much and them being in a random club and not into a gay one makes things a little difficult for her. Better to keep some distance from straight girls, right?

“Oh, come on Maya—“ before Max can finish the sentence, Jo comes running towards where they’re seated, spreading herself in the free space they left for her. “God, I’m sweating from every pore, I swear! The drink I swallowed in one go didn’t help either, my head spins so bad right now.” She cups her face with her hands and Maya brings one of hers on her back, moving it in small circles.

“Wait — where is Lola?” Maya asks her as soon as Jo seems to feel better. “Mmh, she’s with a guy, I don’t even remember his name. He was cute though, she has taste!” Her words make her sigh, fortunately the loud music covers it. It doesn’t take to much of looking to find Lola in the crowd, pressed against the wall with a guy literally eating her face like there’s no tomorrow. Maya feels her stomach clenching and a sharp pain right where her heart is placed. The nausea hits her suddenly and she has to take a few deep breaths to swallow down the food she ate a few hours before. It’s not the first time she sees Lola with a guy, she has seen her with plenty flirts and even in a short-term relationship. This time hits different though. Maybe because it’s been three months since the last party they went to and she didn’t have to see her making out with anyone for all this time.

“I’m going out. I need some fresh air.” She blurts out, sitting up. Her head spins and tears are threatening to come out each second that passes.

“Maya, wait.” She hears Sekou say and she stops, turning around only to find that all three of her friends are looking at her with a concerned expression.

“You can’t keep going like this. You have to tell her what you feel.” He adds, signing her to sit again with them. They knew from the beginning what was going on between her and Lola. Even before Maya admitted it to herself. At first, when they tried to bring up her feelings, she brushed it off saying it was just in their head. Obviously it wasn’t. Jo, Max and Sekou mocked her about her crush for Lola for a long time when she finally told them they were right all along. Only when they realized that it wasn’t just a crush but that Maya really fell in love with Lola they stopped and tried encouraging her to tell her everything.

“I can’t, I can’t tell her what I feel. I would lose her! She doesn’t love me like that.” She said the same exact words a million times but it still hurts her to repeat them out loud. If Maya was sure that she wouldn’t lose her by confessing her feeling, she would at least think about it. The truth is that just the idea of not having her in her life is worse that having Lola just like a friend.

“It’s just what it is. I’ll get over it.” All three are rolling their eyes and Maya can tell they’re truly done with her bullshit.

“I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

Maya recognizes Lola’s voice as soon as she hears it and she finds Lola right behind her, bringing her arms around Maya’s neck and pressing herself on her back. The sitting position which Maya’s in makes Lola more comfortable and she leans in to her fully. “Are you tired?” Lola speaks in her ear to make herself be heard only by Maya. The latter nods, tilting her head up to see her friend’s face. “Guys, I don’t want to ruin your fun but tomorrow I’m working. I really need to go home.” It’s a lie , Maya thinks. She knows that Lola doesn’t work on sunday and probably the others know too but don’t say anything. They gather their things quickly, none of them too sorry to leave. During the ride home she gazes at Lola sometimes, the image of her kissing the stranger still very vivid in her head. She can’t seem to ignore it like she did in the past.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Lola whispers, their bodies tangled in a tight hug in Lola’s bed. Her best friend is caressing her hair, scratching her scalp from time to time, till she drags her finger under Maya’s chin to make her turn up her head.

Everything about this is wrong. Everything that she’s feeling is wrong but Maya can’t say it. She can’t bring herself to form the right words. Even thinking about that hurts her. Lola knows something is not right and Maya can see her questioning and concerned look. She gulps and looks away, trying to escape any further question. “It’s nothing.” She brushes it off, placing her head again on Lola’s shoulder.

“It’s not nothing if it bothers you.” Lola murmurs in her hair, her breath warm against it. She always knows when something is wrong and doesn’t leave it until Maya actually talks. It’s not the first time Maya feels like this, jealousy striking her until she almost stops breathing and shame after because they aren’t even together. She managed for a long time to swallow it down, to cry even when it all became too much, without Lola seeing it but she can’t seem to bring herself to do it now.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Maya mutters, voice so low she’s not even sure Lola heard her. “I’m sorry.” She adds after a few seconds. A tear escapes and she’s fast to dry it out but not fast enough for Lola not to notice.

“Maya…”

Her heart clenches at hearing Lola saying her name and when one tear starts to become a full on crying session, Lola just holds her tighter. Maya grabs Lola’s shirt with her fist, as a way of saying please don’t leave me as her cheeks dampens, leaving a wet stain on the fabric.

“It will all be alright Maya. I promise.” She whispers and for the first time Maya can’t bring herself to believe her.

…

It’s been a week since her breakdown in Lola’s arms. They didn’t talk about it again, Lola deciding to leave Maya her privacy and time to come to her when she’ll be ready. Except that she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be ready. During the last seven days she kept some sort of distance with Lola, trying to shake off the image of her from the last saturday. Maya even tried to go on a date to remove the said girl from her mind for at least a bunch of hours. Her date was cute, hesitant when she pressed her lips against Maya’s ones, only to start kissing her deeper when she felt her hands pinching her waist. They spent the night together and the sex was good, it served its purpose. Maya didn’t call this girl again. As soon as she left in the morning, she put the bedsheets in the washer and brought herself under the shower until the girl’s perfume wasn’t on her skin anymore.

When Jo sent her a message proposing her to go out again on saturday, she initially refused. Parties weren’t fun anymore. Jo, being the chaotic girl she is, tried again, this time asking her to do a sleepover at her house. She wanted to find an excuse but she couldn’t keep ignoring her friends and Lola. Maya’s flat is small but it can handle five people if they squeeze enough to sleep. One thing was for sure, Maya wasn’t sleeping near Lola again.

...

“Never have I ever… Kissed someone of the same sex.” Jo speaks first, getting immediately puzzled looks towards her. “Seriously Jo?” Maya jokes, laughing quietly and drinking from her cup. Max, Jo and Sekou have vodka in their cups, Lola has it too but barely drinks it and Maya can tell because she doesn’t see her swallowing down the liquid when she should be. Maya, as always, has a simple soda. “I know you did, you silly, I just wanted to know if I was the only one that didn’t. Apparently I’m not!” As soon as Jo lets out the last words, she takes a look at Lola which has her gaze on her glass and isn’t drinking. It’s late night and Maya can see she’s tired of playing this game as much as she is. Fortunately it doesn’t take long until their three friends collapse on the mattress she placed in her living room. The only two that sleep doesn’t take are Lola and Maya.

They remain in silence for what it feels like an eternity. It’s uncomfortable but at the same time it’s not if it’s even possible. They’re facing each other while sitting on Maya’s small couch but they both are keeping their eyes down, avoiding the other’s looks. The unspoken weights on them like a million bricks and neither of them is courageous enough to lift it. At least that’s what Maya thought.

“Never have I ever fell in love with my best friend.”

Lola’s voice isn’t loud but Maya hears it amplified ten times more than it actually is. The implied question leaves her surprised and makes her heart skip a beat. She snaps her head back up, her eyes locked in Lola’s ones unable to move them somewhere else now. Her lips part slightly but no sounds escapes from them. She doesn’t even have the cup in her hands anymore from where she could drink. In a way, Lola trapped her. Lola didn’t say that innocently or without thinking about it. They aren’t even playing anymore so there’s a second ending for sure.

“Why are you asking me this?” Maya ends up saying after gaining enough confidence to form a coherent sentence.

“I remember. I remember everything .”

╴╴╴

Three months ago

Lola’s body was pressed against Maya’s side, while one of her arms was lazily placed around her shoulder to steady her. She felt dizzy but she wasn’t drunk. Or at least she wasn’t anymore, the effect of alcohol slowly left her body during their long ride home. Max decided to bring them and their friends to an urbex party on the other side of the city and the traffic, especially when they were going back home, was unbearable. They had fun that night, Lola dancing as always with Jo and sometimes bringing Maya with her even if she was complaining. She felt Maya’s front against her back and she couldn’t help pressing herself even closer to her, swinging her hips at the rhythm of the music. Thanks to the non-existent distance between them, she could feel Maya holding her breath.

It’s not like Lola didn’t notice that Maya was sometimes awkward around her. She tried to ignore it for some time but not thinking about it made her do it even more. Not only about what was going on in Maya’s head, but also what was going on in hers. She was straight as far as she knew, she has always been with boys and she liked it. Lola knew that Maya was attracted to girls only and she never had a problem with it. At least until her best friend wasn’t near one of them that wasn’t her. Maya’s first relationship was with a certain Charlotte, a girl she met at work. Lola hated her from the first second she saw her and never failed to make that very known. Maya tried so hard to find a common ground between the two of them but she never succeed. She knew that Maya didn’t love Char, she could see it in her eyes. It was just a matter of time until they broke up. When they did, Lola wasn’t surprised.

What she was really surprised about was her — jealousy towards her? She couldn’t explain exactly what she felt at the time, she just realized that she wanted to be the one Maya was holding. She wanted to be the one Maya was kissing. She wanted to be the one Maya looked at. She wanted to be at Char‘s place. Her feelings were confusing and Lola didn’t try to let them out for fear of hurting Maya. She ignored them by throwing herself in the arms of random guys, having even a relationship with one of them for a few months. At the end of the day though, she always ended up in Maya’s arms thinking what would it be like to be held. Seriously held by her.

She couldn’t ignore them anymore that night, after the urbex party.

Maya helped her going up the stairs and when they arrived inside her house she splayed herself on the couch. “This party was awesome.” Lola said, placing her head on Maya’s shoulder when she sat on her side. She could hear her trying to breathe slowly and, when she brought her hand on her friend’s chest, she took the time to feel her heartbeat against her palm. “Your heart is beating so fast.” She murmured, moving her chin until it was placed on the crook of Maya’s neck. Lola knew that with her lips being so close to her skin she could feel her breath against that sensitive spot. Lola’s mind is dizzy but not on alcohol and Maya’s silence is somehow motivating her to not stop. “Maya, look at me.” It was whispered extremely low but Maya must have heard her because she turned her head on Lola’s side.

“Lola, w-what are you doing?” Maya’s voice was unsteady, breathy and insecure. Lola tilted her head up a bit, until she could make their fronts touch. Maya closed her eyes and parted her lips almost immediately but nothing happened for long. They remained like that, enjoying their closeness and the silence that filled the room again.

Suddenly, Lola couldn’t hold back anymore. She slowly got closer and closer, until their lips brushed one another. Maya let out little sigh and that’s when Lola took the opportunity to bring their lips together one for all. It wasn’t more than a simple peck, even if it lasted a bit longer than that, but it still was enough to make Lola shiver.

Yes, she was acting drunker than she was only to make this easier. Only to pretend she forgot about it just in case Maya reacted badly.

Before she was able to deepen their kiss, Maya pulled her back by placing both her hands on Lola’s shoulder. “No Lola, this isn’t right.” She marked, getting up from the couch. It took Lola a few seconds to realize what was happening and when she did a wave of regret hitted her. Tears threatened to come out but she held them back as much as she could. “I’m bringing you a blanket.” She heard Maya say but her voice seemed like it came from afar. She felt the warmness of the fabric enveloping her and her back pressed on the couch cushions.

“You’re drunk, you need to get some rest. You won’t remember anything in the morning.” And she placed a kiss on her forehead, delicate as the tone of her voice.

She wanted to scream: no, i will. Sleep took over her before she could even part her lips.

╴╴╴

“You remember that you —“

“I kissed you.” Lola mutters, letting out the words that Maya can’t seem to pronounce.

Maya is in full on panic. Lola was drunk as far as she knew but apparently not as drunk to forget the moment they shared together.

She thought about that kiss a lot in the last three months, she couldn’t get it out of her head. For the three seconds it lasted, she was the happiest person on earth. She leaned to the touch of Lola’s lips even, soft and plump just like she imagined them, and she lost herself for a moment. Her heart was ready to burst out of her chest and her body was shaking from excitement and relief. It all came crashing down when she came back to earth and realized that none of that was true and felt. Lola was out of it, she had to carry her throughout the stairs and help her to sit on the couch. Probably the kiss was nothing more than an induced action caused by the effect of alcohol. Maya obliged herself to forget about it but she just couldn’t. After their kiss, at least, she didn’t saw Lola entertaining herself with a guy for a long time. Until the last party they went to.

Now Lola is there, saying that she remembers anything and the only thing Maya wants to do is to run through the door. She doesn’t want to handle rejection. In a way, it’s better not to know and still have a minuscule hope than knowing that nothing is going to happen ever because her best friend is straight as a line.

“Let’s not talk about it, okay? It doesn’t have to mean anything. It was just a kiss.” Maybe the reverse psychology can work to get her out of the situation. Maya tries to brush it off as nothing important, as something they can forget because it didn’t have to mean anything for their future. They were still going to have a future, right?

“Just a kiss.” Lola repeats and Maya can hear almost disappointment in her voice. She doesn’t get it, though. Lola shouldn’t feel disappointed. After all, none of them talked about it after it happened and even if Lola remembered chose to not talk about it.

Lola is suddenly closer to her and she fails in the intent of backing off from her. She feels paralyzed all of the sudden and confused too. Their eyes lock again and the intensity of Lola’s gaze is almost unbearable for her poor heart. “Lola…” Maya manages to whisper when one of Lola’s hand come to rest on her cheek and, unable to think in a rational way, she places one of hers on top of her friend’s. Their forehead touch, just like they did three months ago and at this point Maya is too far gone.

Words become unnecessary when, in a surge of courage, Maya closes the distance between her and Lola. I’ll probably regret this in the morning , she has barely the time to think. Their lips meet in an innocent kiss, a soft press that is enough to send sparks all through Maya’s spine. She doesn’t dare to deepen it but in the end she doesn’t need too because Lola is doing it for her. She brings the other hand on Maya’s free cheek and uses it to move her head how she wants it. If it wasn’t for Lola’s firm hold, Maya would probably already stopped to see any sign of discomfort in Lola’s face. But her tongue is licking her bottom lip and Maya lets her in, giving up any form of resistance. It’s heavenly and it feels good but she can’t bring herself to enjoy the moment fully. She feels dirty, like she took advantage of the vulnerable moment to do what she wanted the most for years.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I-I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.” Maya parts their lips abruptly and almost immediately she can see that Lola didn’t expect it. It took her a few seconds to open her eyes and realize that Maya wasn’t kissing her anymore. She still tastes the delicate vodka flavour of Lola’s mouth and the softness of her lips against hers. The thing is that she can’t handle all of this. She can’t handle to be kissed passionately by Lola just because she feels sorry for her and her stupid feelings she can’t ignore. If Maya could go back in time before she knew how having Lola that close to her felt, she would. Three months ago she wouldn’t have let herself lean into her friend’s touch even if she thought that she wouldn’t remember it. Lola tries to mutters something but nothing escapes from her lips but a sigh.

“I have to go.” Maya forgets for a moment that she’s in her own house and there’s nowhere she can go. The flat is so small that there’s no way to stay far from Lola how she would like to. She ends up locking herself in her little bathroom, like a baby, and drags her back on the door until she’s sitting on the pavement. Her head bumps on the wood as she tries to inhale and exhale without shaking. She wants to punch herself, again.

She hears a knock on the door and then a dragging sound on it. Lola is in the same position as she’s in. “Maya, please. Can we talk?” Lola pleads, her voice shaky. Maya wants to let her in but doing it also means making her dreams crush after almost four years. There’s no way Lola feels the same for her, she doesn’t even know what it means to be in love with someone and not being able to breathe because they’ll never be yours. There’s nothing in the world she would like more now than to be held by her, to hear her voice saying that it’ll all be alright even if it’s a lie, to feel her fingers caressing her head and making her eyes flutter in the process. But Maya can’t. Her heart is already too broken. In the end, she doesn’t answer. Instead, she closes her eyes and lets a tear run on her cheek. A tear that quickly turn into many and quiet sobs escape her mouth.

On the top of it all, she overhears Lola getting up.

…

Maya ended up passing out on her bathroom floor.

When she wakes up god knows how many hours later, it takes her a few minutes to remember what happened during the night. She feels her skin dry as the sahara and her eyes burning from all the crying she has done. The shame hits her before she can even get up and it all goes downhill from there. She looks at herself in the mirror, her face tired and sleepy, and she’s still wearing the clothes from yesterday. She doesn’t know what to do now. Lola probably run away from her after the improbable reaction she had and Maya has absolutely no intention of talking to her. After some minutes of self pity, she splashes ice cold water on her skin and washes her teeth in an attempt to remove every little particle of Lola in her mouth.

Surprisingly, she isn’t alone in her flat. The first thing she sees going out of the bathroom is Max figure fumbling with something on the table and judging from the sweet smell he’s preparing breakfast for both of them. “Morning.” She murmurs with a sleep voice. Max turns to her as soon as he hears her and a small smile curves his lips. “I made breakfast. You need to eat something.” His tone is concerned as much as his face is. There’s no way he doesn’t know what happened. Or at least, there’s no way he didn’t notice that Maya didn’t get out of the bathroom for the whole night. “I fucked everything up. You have no idea how much I fucked it up.” She admits, sitting in one of the table chairs.

“Maya, listen.” Max starts while putting in front of her a mug full of coffee. “You hid your feelings for her for four years. Do you know how much time it is? People get together, get married and divorce in even less than that.” He takes a sip from his espresso and Maya can’t help but signing. “Is this supposed to make me feel better?” She asks him, visibly annoyed. “No, this supposed to make you realize that one day it’ll happen anyway. You’re sensitive, you feel everything ten thousand times amplified. Keeping all in isn’t doing any good to you.” He knows he’s right. Maya too. Keeping her feelings to herself made her slowly spiral in an infinite vortex of what if instead of living in the present and actually making her reality go in the way she wanted it to. Maybe it is the time to get out of her comfort zone, get out of the sea of doubts that has been drowning her and finally make a move. After all, it can’t be a case it all happened.

“I’ll talk to her. I’ll tell her everything, this time for real.” She gazes at Max and finds in him nothing but an expression of support and fondness. “I hope she won’t leave me.”

“ She won’t , Maya.”

…

Two days passed since her conversation with Max.

She was still convinced that talking with Lola was the best thing to do but bringing herself to do it required a bit of work. Maya spent these days taking care of herself. After the night with Lola and breakfast with Max, she took a long bath and thought about what to say to her best friend. Sorry if I locked myself in the bathroom, I’m in love with you was lame and made shame rise up at the pit of her stomach; I’m in love with you but I know you’re straight and I didn’t know what to do, so I fantasized about you kissing me for years and when that happened I got scared made her look like a creep. Maybe it was better if Lola never knew about her fantasizing. Who can blame her though?

If she couldn’t have Lola for real, she could have her in her fantasy. Maya used to dream about her a lot, especially at the beginning when she was starting to realize that what was feeling for Lola wasn’t exactly platonic. She dreamt about them in her bed, during one of their many sleepovers, legs entangled and busy lips. The heat of their bodies pressed together no matter the outside temperature, their curves perfectly fitting in one another and their fingers intertwined in a tight hold. When she woke up in the morning, she felt extremely guilty for those images running in her head, even more if Lola was by her side sleeping peacefully. She usually went to the bathroom to wash her face and to step out of that sleep induced fantasy, until she didn’t feel bothered anymore. Even if Lola couldn’t hear her, she always whispered a little I’m sorry .

Going back to the present, Maya is torn on what practically do to talk to Lola. She thinks about going to her house and wait there until Lola let’s her in or sending her a simple message, or even going to her workplace because suddenly waiting a few more hours seems unbearable. She goes for the second option in the end, hoping that Lola won’t take too long to reply.

to Lola: hey, can we talk? i’m sorry for what i did last time, it was stupid. i panicked and i left you without a word. i’ll explain it all to you, i promise.

She sends it before she can even read it again. Not even one minute later, Lola reads it. Maya’s fingers start trembling and the hold on her phone becomes precarious as she sees Lola typing, and typing, and typing.

A few second later, Lola’s not online anymore and leaves her on read.

…

Maya doesn’t even have the strength to be sad or get angry at herself anymore. She just stares at the screen, hoping that she’ll see Lola online again, but that doesn’t happen. Million thoughts spin in her head as she lays on the couch, the very same couch they kissed two times on. It’s half past eleven and Lola left work at least five hours ago. There’s no way she didn’t have time to reply to her text. She simply didn’t want to reply. Maya understands her, really. Finding out that your very gay best friend is in love with you, getting kissed, being left out of the bathroom without an explanation and, on the top of it, being completely straight must not be easy to handle. Probably if she was in the same situation as Lola, she would have reacted the same way.

Even after all that occurred between them, Maya can’t shake off the feeling that it can’t be done. If she got to know Lola as well as she thought in these four years together, it can’t be done. Maya knows her and she’s not the type to leave unfinished business behind her.

The ring of her doorbell gets her out of her thoughts and she quickly goes to open the door. Her heart clenches when she sees who is outside her flat this late. Lola.

“Hey. Can I come in?” Lola asks out of breath. She run for sure because she’s sweating and considering the five ramps of stairs to arrive to Maya’s flat is not that improbable. Maya lets her in with a welcoming gesture and as she enters her apartment, she never looks away from her. Lola doesn’t sit, instead she stands in the middle of the room, her chest still going up and down. She brings her look up, until she meets Maya’s one and takes a long breath before talking. “I want to talk first. Please, let me.” Lola says and Maya never heard her talking with such a firm voice. She simply nods as she places herself in front of her best friend.

“I met you when I was fifteen years old and I was in a bad place back then. My mother was dying and my family was breaking right in front of my eyes. I started high school thinking that I would hate every second of it but then you sat next to me and we started talking and I immediately knew that you would ruin me for everyone else. The special connection we have is something that I’ll be forever grateful for.” Lola stops for a second, a smile curving her lips. “When my mother died you were there for me and I was there for you when you came out to your foster family. We’ve been there for each other always, you are the best friend I could aim for. The truth is, though, that there is something more to it.”

Maya feels stuck, incapable to move every single muscle. So Lola did really understand it all from the beginning, maybe even before she admitted to herself that she was in love with her. She listens carefully to Lola’s words and as she asked, lets her talk.

“I knew you were having a few night stands but one day you came to my workplace with Charlotte and I was surprised. I never saw you that physically close to anyone before, not even me and I don’t know, I felt something that I’ve never felt before. I realized only later, after fighting with Char countless of times, that I was simply jealous of her. At first I thought it was because she took away most of the time we used to spend together but after truly thinking about it — this wasn’t the reason.” She takes a big, deep breath before continuing. “I was jealous of her because I wanted to be the one you kissed. I wanted to be the one you held your hand in the street with and I wanted to be the one you cuddled back home. Three months ago I shoot my shot and I kissed you on that couch not because I was drunk, not because I wanted to have fun with you. I did it because I fucking wanted to. I had to act on what I was feeling, I couldn’t hold it back anymore for fear that you didn’t feel the same. When you rejected me I felt so bad. I thought you didn’t want me.” Her voice trembles at the last words and she gulps down the lump in her throat. “ — then the other night you kissed me first, this time a real kiss, and It never felt so right with anyone else before. I know that I always told you that I was straight, trust me I truly believed it. I tried to say to myself that maybe what I was feeling for you was just affection but Maya, it’s not. I think I’m in love with you and I’m so fucking scared I have ruined everything between us.” Lola is crying, full on sobbing even but she doesn’t bother to dry her tears from her cheeks, she just leaves them stream out freely.

Maya takes in Lola’s words and has to pinch herself to make sure she’s not dreaming. Apparently, there is a universe where hers is not an unrequited love and she’s lucky enough to live in it. For all these years she was convinced there was no possibility of her and Lola together, together as a couple. She suffered so much. All those sleepless nights, all those hurtful fantasies, all the times she wanted to tell her how she felt but couldn’t because the fear of rejection held her down each time. Maya couldn’t know, though. Lola had always maintained a very good straight facade but after hearing her words, she understands why she did it. They were both scared of losing each other and Lola was most possibly confused with her sexuality, which is not something to underestimate. Maya wants to say a million things and at the same time remains silent to enjoy this moment for a little bit more before it ends. She parts her lips in an unspoken word and from her watery eyes she can see Lola’s figure blurred.

“Please, say something.” Lola’s voice is pleading, loud in the silence of the flat.

She takes a big breath, while the words in her head start to make enough sense to be spoken out loud. “Lola, I’m in love with you since the first time I saw you. It took me some time to admit it to myself but I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you the exact moment my eyes met yours. This is so cheesy but it’s true.” Maya can’t hold back a tiny chuckle. “I spent the last four year asking myself why I fell in love with a girl I could never be with. I always saw you with guys, you told me you were straight and I never suspected the contrary. I fell in love with you anyway. You’re the best person I know, beautiful inside and out. You have no idea how many times I dreamed about you saying exactly what you just said to me, I swear. Maybe this is some law of attraction shit, I don’t know.” She takes a few steps to be finally close enough to Lola to wipe away her tears. She’s still crying but has her signature smirk on her lips. Maya leaves a kiss on her forehead and caresses her hair, bringing them back her ears.

“You better kiss me right now.” Lola whispers, an inch separating their lips. “ — and don’t even think of locking yourself in the bathroom again because I’ll fucking break that door.”

Maya lets out a little laugh but she’s quick to close the distance between them just like she did a few days ago. This time, though, none of them has any intention to separate. This kiss has nothing innocent about it. It’s passionate, a bit sloppy and their teeth clashes together but they don’t care. It’s perfect in it’s own way. Delicacy left the chat a long ago. They stumble to the bed soon after and it’s all fast and blurry from there. The very same bed where everything began, where Maya realized she was in love with Lola. Maya’s fantasies quickly were becoming a reality as they lost themself with the moonlight shining from the window.

…

The morning after, their role switched. This time was Maya feeling watched in her sleep. She slowly opens up her eyes, revealing Lola’s figure on her side, her head laying on the pillows and her eyes towards her.

“Were you watching me sleep?” Maya murmurs with a sleepy voice, shifting under the covers to get even closer to Lola. “Yes. Just like you did for the past four years with me.” Lola laughs and it’s the best sound Maya could hear this early in the morning. So for all this time Lola knew that she was glancing at her while she was asleep but never said anything. Maya’s cheeks turn red in an instant but Lola is quick at brushing off of her the embarrassment with a peck on her lips. “Is this some type of revenge then?” Maya asks jokingly, reaching out for Lola’s hip under the duvet and pinching it. “Oh, stop!” Obviously Maya doesn’t, and keeps pinching her hip and her stomach. Lola tries to get away from her, failing miserably, because Maya’s hold is strong enough to keep her exactly where she is. When they stop laughing, she sees Lola face changing, the same face she does when she wants to tell something but doesn’t know how to.

She talks after a while, hesitant. “About tonight —” Before she can continue, Maya puts her lips on hers in a reassuring kiss. “Hey. You’ve never been with a girl before, it’s normal. I won’t push you into doing anything you don’t want to do.” She whispers, placing a hand on her cheek and caressing it with her thumb. Maya remembers that even if she was sure about her sexuality since as long as she can remind, her first time with a girl was still all tentative touches and embarrassment when she didn’t know what to do. Lola was no different but honestly Maya can’t care less about sex when she is with the person she loves the most in the whole world. Plus, they have plenty of time ahead of them to experiment with each other.

“But — I do want to touch you.” Lola mutters on Maya’s lips, as her hands travel on the side of her body. Maya shivers and kisses her again, again and again.

…

They get out of bed around noon with the intent to eat something but instead they find themselves sitting on the couch again. Lola is cuddled between Maya’s legs, her back on Maya’s front and her head gently placed on her chest. She’s running her fingers through her hair like she always does, letting the brown strands wrap around and then letting them go. She knows Lola loves when she plays with her hair, it makes her feel extremely relaxed and cared for. It is also their way to tell one another that something was wrong when there are people around. One of them puts a hand on the other hair and they know. They sneaked off so many times with this technique and all of them they found themself alone in a comfortable hug. Today is different, though. The hugs and the cuddles that used to be platonic aren’t anymore and Maya doesn't have to dream about the softness of Lola’s lips.

“Hey Maya —” Lola starts, turning her head enough to see Maya’s face. “ … Now I can stop calling you my best friend, right?” She ends up asking and Maya smiles against her forehead. “You better.” She imitates Lola’s tone of last night, when she told her to kiss her. Maya lost count of how many times she pinched herself already. She always does it when Lola can’t see her because she knows she would mock her for her entire life if she saw. It’s just that she still can’t believe she gets yo have Lola like this. It feels natural with her, it feels like home, but after four years of desperate longing and gay panic when she found herself a little closer than normal to her, you can’t blame her.

“I want to tell the others about this… About us.” Lola adds, shifting from her laying position on a more comfortable one straddling Maya’s lap. Maya’s hands travel from her waist to her thighs, while she locks eyes with Lola. “I’m not sure I want to do it now, though. It’s not because I’m scared of how people will react seeing me with a girl, I want to make this clear.” She clarifies, playing with the hem of Maya’s shirt. “I want to take the time to live all of this for a while, just the two of us.” Maya couldn’t agree more. She is out and proud but has nothing against Lola needing some time to process everything privately. She doesn’t care about how Lola will decide to define herself or even if she won’t at all, the only important thing is that Lola’s happy and if she can be the person to make her happy… Well, so much better. “I’ll give you as much time as you need.” Maya smiles and Lola makes their noses brush against one another.

“Thank you.” Lola murmurs on Maya’s lips and then she cups her face with her hands, bringing them together in a delicate press. Maya doesn’t answer but she’s sure that her lingering touches on Lola’s back and both of them deepening the kiss enough to get lost in it once again is enough to reassure Lola that she isn’t going anywhere,

that she’s here to stay.

#this was cute to write #i loved writing from maya's pov might do that again #there's angst but it ends well i promise #also hayley kiyoko song is iconic i love it #this is obviously inspired to her song sleepover #mayla fic #mayla #skam france

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pilot-boi · 4 years

Text

Shouting In Cafes: Chapter Nineteen

Airborne

This world keeps spinning, and with each new day I can feel a change in everything

AO3 LINK

“So…what is this thing?” Neptune questioned as he stared down at the lump of fried dough on a plate, covered in a heaping helping of powdered sugar and red strawberry sauce.

“It’s a funnel cake,” Sun explained, after a moment of confused silence. “Are you seriously telling me you’ve never had funnel cake before, bro?”

They were sitting under a bright pink and blue pinstriped umbrella by the food stands. The two had gotten sandwiches for lunch, and Sun had suggested sharing something sweet, which had resulted in the funnel cake Neptune was now eyeing dubiously.

It had first resulted in Sun winking and commenting, “Well I know where you could get somethin’ sweet bro,” to which Neptune had shoved the map in his face and fled to the nearest food stand. And then funnel cake.

“I feel like I’ll gain twenty pounds just looking at it,” Neptune mumbled.

Sun barked out a laugh. “You won’t! Just try it, I think you’ll like it!”

After a few more dubious glances between the plate and friend, Neptune stabbed a piece of the dough with a plastic fork and bit into it.

“Well?” Sun was leaning forward expectantly, watching him intently. Eyes way too wide, but when weren’t they?

Neptune avoided his gaze for a moment. “It’s…not bad.”

“You liar! You like it!” Sun accused. “And of freaking course you’re using a fork.”

“What else would I use?”

“Uh, your hands? Duh?”

Neptune didn’t reply, simply stabbed another, more substantial, section of the funnel cake with his fork, and ate it in one bite.

“Hey, leave some for me!” Sun protested, diving forward and knocking Neptune’s utensil out of the way.

It didn’t take long for them to polish off the plate, and by the end of it, Neptune had taken notice of a smear of strawberry sauce across Sun’s cheek.

He felt a momentary urge to wipe it away, to reach out and brush the sticky substance off. His arm was half-outstretched before Neptune stopped himself, not wanting to risk rocking the boat any further.

Boundaries were something Sun tended to ignore, but not him. He liked his boundaries nice and sturdy, thank you very much. And doing something like that would definitely be enough to tip off even Sun.

“You’ve got some on your face.” He said this instead.

“Oh?” The blonde took a napkin and wiped off his cheeks. “Got it?” He asked when he’d finished.

Neptune made the mistake of letting his eyes linger too long, and cursed himself silently when Sun met his eyes.

“You good, bro?” Sun asked, waving a hand in front of his face. “Spaced out?”

Shit.

Neptune dropped his gaze. “No, no, sorry…I just…”

You’re unreal. The hottest guy I’ve ever met. Your eyes are so pretty when you smile. And you smile so often, that my heart can’t physically take it. But what’s worse is when you just look so open, and I don’t know what to do with that.

The words he wanted to say chased themselves half-formed across the landscape of his consciousness. His stupid heart was more than eager to say them all. But he’d already come too close to ruining a perfectly good friendship, and he wasn’t going to give it a chance.

So those words Neptune wished he could say, he swallowed, and tucked safely into his heart never to be released.

Those words were dangerous, and to say them now would jeopardize everything that he’d accomplished today. He’d made it this far, he couldn’t ruin it in the eleventh hour.

Sun was straight. This wasn’t a date. Sun was straight.

Now if Sun could just stop staring at him like that, maybe he could hold it together for a few more hours. After all, he could see the sun beginning it’s downwards descent, and he knew he wouldn’t have to endure much more of this.

Because even though this definitely wasn’t a special birthday date, he’d come too close to forgetting that a couple times.

He was getting more caught up in it every time Neptune held his hand and Sun swung their clasped hands between them as they walked. He didn’t protest as much he normally would when he begrudgingly accepted an enthusiastically presented brightly-colored stall-game prize.

And then the thing with the funnel cake. That wasn’t flirting right? Because with every time he had to ask himself that on this godforsaken not-date, the less convincing Neptune sounded to himself.

“Well, I think that was the last one.” Sun commented, ignoring Neptune leaning heavily on the railing underneath the ride they’d just gotten off of, knees shaking.

He’d pretty firmly figured out by the second ride that he didn’t like roller coasters quite as much as he was letting on. However, he didn’t say anything, mostly because Sun enjoyed it so much himself.

Sun could not make it more obvious that he liked roller coasters. A lot. They were fun, fast, and unexpected. Rapid twists and turns that made you feel like you were flying, before depositing you safely back to earth.

Sun’s enthusiasm was infectious, and the huge exhilarated grins that Neptune received after each ride felt like reward enough. Each ride felt a brief little escape from the bonds of reality, into a universe where he could forget that this wasn’t a date.

And besides, Neptune signed up for this. If he’d really wanted to, Sun had given him a perfectly good out at the beginning of the day. But alas, Neptune was a weak spineless man with no willpower, so he went along with Sun.

Glancing up, Neptune realized that the sky had mostly darkened, and the last rays of the sun were filtering past the horizon.

“It’s getting dark…should we go soon?” Neptune asked from the railing he was clinging to like his life depended on it. Which it definitely did. No way was the world supposed to be spinning like this.

Sun perked up immediately, nearly falling over himself to pull the map from his back pocket. “No, no! There’s one more ride left!”

“There is?” Neptune groaned, and glanced over at the map Sun was displaying proudly. He squinted in confusion before his eyes landed on what appeared to be the park's star attraction. “You mean the Ferris wheel?” Neptune asked.

Sun nodded. “We should go on it!”

Neptune shrugged, finally relinquishing his grasp on the railing. “Sure, if you want. Seems a bit slow, though. You sure it’s your kind of ride?”

Sun nodded as they started walking towards the line for the Ferris wheel. “Not usually,” Sun admitted, “but I’ve heard it’s got one hell of a view!”

The line for the Ferris wheel was a bit longer, but again, with Sun carrying on, switching topics, and goading Neptune into playing along with his conversations, the time flew by.

The Ferris wheel was bedecked with golden fairy lights that ran up and down the support struts. There were colorful triangle panels decorating the arms that extended outwards to the edge of the wheel, and the gondolas were bright cherry red.

By the time they were seated in the little gondola, a small two-seat car with a rounded bottom and an arched over canopy, the sun had fully set.

Neptune didn’t notice the number of people filtering out of the park, or the fact that nobody else had gotten onto the ride after them. He was too caught up in Sun’s voice, eagerly relaying to him some adventure he’d had with one of his other friends.

“You did not see a sea monster you idiot.”

“Bro I’m serious! Though I’m pretty sure it could have eaten my face off.”

The wheel started turning, and as it did, Neptune turned his head to look out towards the city.

“It really is a pretty view…” He admitted, as the sparkling city lights spread out like a speckling of glitter across a black blanket. The fairgrounds were a decent distance away from downtown, and also at a slightly higher elevation. This made for a dramatic landscape which unfolded as their cart was slowly lifted higher into the sky.

“It is,” Sun said, in a tone of voice Neptune couldn’t quite identify.

Sun wasn’t looking at the city.

They’d just reached the apex of the wheel and were about to begin their downwards descent when the wheel stopped.

It wasn’t a jarring stop, like you’d expect had the wheel somehow jammed. It was soft and deliberate.

Planned.

Neptune turned his head to Sun, who he’d just realized was a lot closer than he’d been so far today, aside from on the coaster cars. But in those, Neptune had been too busy screaming to notice the distance.

That was a lie. He’d very much noticed.

This was different though. And now they were hanging midair, for some reason.

“Sun, what’s going on?” He asked, leaning over slightly to look over the edge of the car towards the ground.

“This… is a birthday present. From me to you.” Sun declared, though his voice lacked some of its usual force.

He almost sounded nervous. Neptune didn’t know it was possible for Sun to sound nervous.

“I thought the gift was the trip to the amusement park?” he asked, confusion inching into his voice.

Sun scrunched his nose and rolled his eyes. “I mean it was…but this is the real one.”

That was when the first heart-stopping explosion occurred.

Neptune jumped violently where he was sitting in the cart, hands flying to grip the railing in front of them, blocking the front of the cart. “What the fuck-”

He looked up.

The sky was ablaze with fireworks.

Great bursts of all the colors of the rainbow decorated the sky against a backdrop of stars. They shot up from the ground in spirals or large balls of brilliant golden light. Zigzagging patterns through the air or elegantly erupting into blossoms of color.

The entire display went on for about five minutes, perhaps more, and Neptune spent all of it transfixed.

He’d never really seen fireworks.

Heard of them, sure. And pictures and videos, but never in person. He’d never really seen the appeal.

Yet here he was, seeing them, and now he understood why people loved them so much. The sounds, the shapes, the colors. There were so many colors. The sky was a blank canvas that, in an instant, had been painted by watercolor until it was drenched with all the mesmerizing glory it could possibly contain.

When the last echoes of the bursts had finally stopped ringing in his ears, Neptune sat back against the cart, having not realized he’d leaned forward when the show had begun.

It was easily the best birthday present he’d ever received.

---

The fireworks had been the perfect cherry on top. This day had been nearing perfect, and the fireworks made it all click together.

When he’d found out it was Neptune’s birthday, he’d realized that there couldn’t be a better way to do this. Finding out about the fireworks at this amusement park had pretty much cemented his decision on what to do.

Planning the day trip, and keeping it a surprise was more effort than Sun had ever put into any event in his life.

And watching the colors of the fireworks reflect in Neptune’s eyes had made it all worth it.

They’d cast shadows that danced over his face, before lighting the night all over again. His glasses reflected the lights, flashing with a million billion colors and casting lights down onto his cheeks. His cheeks were flushed in awe, and Sun was captivated.

When it had ended, Neptune had sat against the backrest of the gondola again, still with an awed expression on his face.

“Did…did you like it?” Sun dared to ask, his heart threatening to beat its way out of his chest.

Neptune turned his head to him with a smile just tugged at his lips.

“I loved it.” And I love you, Sun nearly said. Nearly said, but didn’t say. He wanted to though.

Sun could have left it there. He could have waved to have them brought back down, dropped Neptune off, and just held out a bit longer.

A month was pretty fast, even by his standards. But he couldn’t handle to wait any longer. Already bouncing eagerly against the walls of his heart were the words he’d had tucked away all day.

All week. Month. Since the drive really, twenty-seven days, but who was counting.

Neptune didn’t smile enough. Didn’t laugh enough. And he wanted to make sure that smile stayed, even just for a few moments longer.

It was why he let it happen, with no plan as to what to say, he just went with what his instincts said to do. Which was always dangerous for Sun, but when had that stopped him before?

They said to do it now, because he’d never find a moment like this with Neptune ever again.

Sun grabbed one of Neptune’s hands in his, nearly melting then and there when Neptune’s fingers interlaced with his automatically.

It was quiet.

There was just so much Sun wanted to say. Even though it was only a month, and he knew it sounded crazy, and he knew he was probably acting like some stupid lovestruck kid.

So much he wanted to spill out until Neptune understood just how much he meant to him. But words had never been his strong suit, so his stupid brain was settling for hoping his intense gaze conveyed everything he couldn’t.

And for once, Neptune didn’t avert his eyes. Sun hoped that meant he wasn’t totally fucking doomed.

Clinging to that hope, Sun took all the words jammed into the bottleneck his mouth was making. He shuffled them together, and said what mattered most right then and there.

“Will you go out with me?”

#rwby #neptune vasilias #sun wukong #seamonkeys #mine #my writing #shouting in cafes #coffee shop rwby #chapter 19 #writing wednesday

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moviegroovies · 4 years

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so i know i’m breaking like, this unspoken vow of silence re: the movie by making this post but this IS a movie blog and i did watch the last airbender. and can i just say. holy fucking shit.

y’all know i like a lot of bad movies. knowing that, take me seriously when i say: this is a BAD movie. and not in a good way. i went into it with no expectations except morbid curiosity and i was STILL let down. i wanted to hate watch it, and yeah, i hated watching it, but it wasn’t even fun to hate. i just hated it.

don’t watch the last airbender.

if you’re like me and you just wanted to know exactly how bad it was, please benefit from my mistakes. read my fun funky rant and then never think of that movie again. put it out of your mind. rewatch boiling rock. love yourself.

anyway.

pretty much the one and only thing i knew about why it was bad going in was that it was whitewashed; that’s like the only thing anyone ever mentions in conjecture with this movie, when they mention it at all. knowing this, going in knowing full well that the casting department did crimes against humanity, i was still shocked and disturbed at the sight of white katara and white sokka. literally... that casting choice was a hate crime. look them up (or check out my last post) if you need to see it for yourself... it’s bad y’all. somehow i had braced myself for white aang, but before i saw it with my own two eyes i couldn’t believe that they would actually whitewash katara and sokka, And Yet. the really stupid thing is that it’s not even “””justified””” IN UNIVERSE; most of the members of the southern water tribe are played by asian actors, meaning that they didn’t even pull a pan and make the WHOLE southern water tribe white, they just made sokka and katara mysteriously “special” in a spectacularly poor judgement call.

actually, that’s another thing. outside the northern water tribe (which is also mostly white... i’m wondering if sokka and katara are white because gran gran--a white woman in the movie--is from the north? anyway it’s a moot point either way because none of them should be white, there are NO WHITE CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW AVATAR, jesus FUCKING christ), most of the extras and background characters are played by actors of color, particularly asian actors, which would be accurate to the show’s canon. maybe m night shyamalan or someone else involved in the making of this shitshow of a movie thought that this would somehow absolve the whitewashing of the main characters, but in reality i’d argue that it makes it even worse; by having characters mostly played by people of color continuously being saved by three little white bitches, the movie goes HARD on the white savior trope, and also just generally uses these actual, living people as exploitative, orientalist set dressing for this 1 hour and 43 minutes of special hell.

with one notable exception: prince zuko is played by an actor of color--specifially, dev patel. (who is himself miscast, considering how zuko and the fire nation are japanese-coded, but the second they opened on that veruca salt looking ass bitch calling herself katara any hope that the makers of this movie gave any consideration to the racial coding avatar introduced went right out the window.) which adds Another layer of racism to this already inconceivably bad fuckup of a movie; how strange, that the movie’s racebending made all three heroes white, but the primary antagonist (as well as the secondary antagonist, zhao, and the mostly-off-screen-but-still-present ozai) is a man of color. what an odd coincidence. hmmmm.

i hate this movie. i do want to note, though, that dev patel’s inclusion was the only thing that actually got me through the whole thing; i have no idea why he was in this film (he’s FAR too talented for the content he was given and no one else in the entire cast went even one sixteenth as hard as he did) but he was its one saving grace. still, though, even he couldn’t save it. he was so cute and he did his damn best with probably the worst script in the history of film... but he was still in THIS film. since the release of this movie, patel has spoken out against his role in it and the world of hollywood blockbusters in general, and to that i say... good for him.

i was going for zuko though. this time it was like YES baby CAPTURE that avatar. full stop.

so yes, it was horribly miscast, whitewashed to hell and back, and went with a racist white hero/villains of color cast as a backdrop. all of these things, in themselves, are enough to completely condemn the movie, and my work here might as well be done... except to end it there would be to leave one million other glaring flaws unexamined. and i refuse to let any rock be unturned.

because, like, it’s NOT just bad because of the whitewashing. the whitewashing and the other racist elements are huge PARTS of why this is a bad movie, but even if this movie was made with an accurate and un-whitewashed cast, it would STILL be a bad movie, and i need you all to know this.

starting from the top: they ruined katara and sokka.

well, they ruined them the second they cast them the way they did. but again, let’s say they cast someone else. let’s say they cast appropriate actors for the rolls, but the level of acting skill and the script they used was the same. even in this case, they would have RUINED katara and sokka. none of the characters in this movie are 100% recognizable (and i’ll keep repeating it: the casting DID NOT HELP), but katara and sokka got hit the hardest and the worst. the things that sokka should have brought to the table (his goofy attitude, his intelligence) were erased, and the “sokka” we were given instead was a jerkass buzzkill who might have occasionally been the butt of a joke, but was never actually intended to be funny in his own right. reflecting on the series, it’s kind of as if we got his characterization from the first episode (before sokka got any development and was, i guess, kind of a jerkass buzzkill) and never strayed from that, which would be bad enough, but i think even episode ONE sokka was more fun and dynamic than White Sokka™. mistakes were made.

but it was even WORSE for katara. katara’s righteous anger was all but erased. SOKKA was the one who broke the avatar out of the ice, and only because they accidentally happened upon him--katara didn’t get to be angry at sokka’s jerkass sexism and unconsciously fuck up an entire iceberg. katara NEVER got to be angry. in fact, most of katara’s moments were taken and distributed between aang and sokka; aang, for instance is the one who inspires the earthbenders to break out of prison. we don’t even see katara train with master pakku, and SHE was the one who actually became a waterbending master when they went to the north pole. in this movie, katara mostly existed to talk about ~hope~ (very ember island players, lmfao) and hug aang when he went into the avatar state.

by the way, that prison? it’s not the metal platform in the middle of the ocean we got in the show. it’s just... an enclosed village. surrounded by dirt and earth. and the earthbenders never tried to break out until aang came along and told them to? hmmmm....

Unfortunate Implications™, but what did you expect.

other than that, idk. the writing was so fucking bad, y’all. a significant chunk of the plot relies on the “as you know” trope, in which characters have an expository discussion about something everyone present should already be aware of and wouldn’t need to get into. this normally wouldn’t bother me THAT much, if i noticed it at all (exposition is essential, after all, and you only have so much time in a movie, so i guess it makes sense when you’re trying to compress an entire season of a show into one), except like... it’s ridiculous. i couldn’t ignore it, they just hit the hammer so hard. “as you know, this is what the avatar is. as you know, zuko was exiled after fighting an agni kai with his father. as you know...”

bleh.

after that, i guess all my complaints are a little more pedantic. some smaller things that made the movie unwatchable: the bending motions were super weird and i think sped up? there were perfectly good martial arts moves right there waiting for them, and shyamalan fucked even THAT up in an effort to... what? make it look more “mystical?” bitch i’ll kill you. also, for reasons completely unfathomable to me, some of the names were pronounced oddly despite being said one million times in the show. “aah-ng” “ee-roh” “soh-ka” “ahvatar.” literally... why.

i’ve been thinking “soh-ka” in my head for like two weeks. hideous.

and one last thing, which really DOESN’T matter in comparison to what they did to the human characters, but like... what fucking happened to appa?? why did they do that to him?

don’t watch the last airbender.

#the last airbender #text post #katara #sokka #zuko #aang #hideous bad movie time

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t-lostinworlds · 5 years

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In My Blood (Shawn Mendes) [1]

Originally Written: July 16, 2018 | Edited: July 2, 2019

A/N: As you can see by the title, yes, it’s sorta kinda inspired by the song but not entirely lol. This was supposed to be one part only but it’s gotten soooo long so I split it in two. Also haven’t finished rewriting yet haha. And yeah, wrote this almost a year ago and just now had the courage to edit. Anyway, hope you enjoy! x

Summary: As Shawn’s anxiety gets worse you - his life long best friend - is the only person who could help him, just as always. But when he caught his girlfriend cheating, everything just came spiraling down.

Warnings: Angst like loads and Typos like a few maybe

Word Count: 5.6k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

Tired.

Shawn is tired.

He's tired of his own mind filling him up with emotions that he shouldn't be feeling. He's tired of the constant worrying of how people are going to accept him for who he truly is as a person and as an artist, thinking about if people are going to stay with him in the long run. He's tired of feeling anxious about the choices he's going to make, not wanting to ruin the image the world has laid on his shoulders, tired of feeling overwhelmed with the pressure his family, his friends and his fans are giving him, thinking if he was doing enough, if he was good enough.

Shawn is so tired of everything, and sometimes he feels like he is tired of living.

He was sat on the floor of his hotel room, back pressed against the foot of his bed as he stared straight at nothing with tears brimming in his eyes, struggling to keep his breathing steady. Is it possible for a person to feel so many emotions all at once but feel numb at the same time? Because at the moment, his heart is breaking into pieces but his brain is just blank, empty and dark.

Shawn closed his eyes as he took a deep, sharp breath before reaching for his phone, and with shaky hands, quickly dialed her number knowing that when he has episodes like this, there's only one person who can help, and he really needs her right now.

His heartbeat grew faster every time her phone rings, picking up the pace even more the longer she takes to pick up, am I enough for her too?

He was about to hang up and just forget it, not wanting to make himself a burden to her, but before he could pull the phone away, she's already answered.

"Hello there rockstar."

Shawn heaved a huge sigh of relief as her voice hits his hers, the familiar, comforting sound bringing him back to the surface, calming him in the fastest way possible.

"Hi." He whispered as he tried his best to stop his voice from cracking. She knows him too well, and she will definitely know if he's not okay even in the slight change of tone in his voice, they were close that way.

"What's up Shawn? Is everything alright?"

He bit his bottom lip to stop it from trembling, looking up at the ceiling as he blinked back the tears, "Nothing, just really needed to hear your voice." Shawn heard her sigh on the other line, and he can already picture the worry painting on her beautiful face.

"Shawn, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Shawn shook his head as he drew his bottom lip between his teeth to stop it from trembling, his heart aching as his mind played darker games. He knows that hiding something from her is nearly impossible to do, she can see right through him like he's transparent in some way. As he said, she knows him too well like the back of her hand, and lying to her would be useless, but still, Shawn tried. "Yeah, I just miss you, that's all."

"I miss you too but I know you're lying Shawn, please tell me what's bothering you."

Shawn closed his eyes as he felt a tear roll down his cheek, a soft, almost inaudible sob escaping his lips, and this made her worry even more.

"Shawn?" She called out gently, the concern in her voice so evident that it wasn't that hard to picture her frown, a face full of concern as she speaks on the other line. Shawn tried to fight his tears but still ended up losing as another one slipped out of his eyes, then followed by another, then another and the next thing he knew, he was crying continuously.

"I'm right here Shawn, you know you can tell me anything right?" Her voice was soft and gentle, not forceful in anyway at all, and this is why Shawn always feels so comfortable talking to her, because no matter what, she was never one to judge.

"I'm fine, I just–" Shawn's voice broke as he tried to start to explain to her why he's acting this way, but she stayed quiet, silently urging him to continue.

"I'm just so worked up with everything. I'm getting all wrapped up with all this emotions and I can't take it anymore. I'm getting so tired of the pressure that this career is giving me and I'm like constantly thinking carefully about everything I do just so I can't disappoint anyone. I'm scared of being myself fully because what if no one will like the real me? What if my fans are seeing me as a different person? Painting me into this picture-perfect prince, and when I show my true personality, I'm not the person they expect me to be? I don't want to disappoint them; I don't want to disappoint anyone. The expectations are so high and I don't know if I can live with myself if I don't live up with those expectations. And I'm so tired of feeling so insecure. I'm so scared of not being enough. Fuck, I'm sorry; I'm just all over the place. I can't even explain everything to you properly. I just– I can't take it anymore (Y/N). My mind is consuming me slowly and I'm so fucking tired of it." Shawn ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he let out a broken sob as soon as he finished. The sound he emitted in itself so heart wrenching that she can feel it deep in her chest even if she's miles away.

Shawn can almost imagine her frown deepening on the other line as a soft sigh escaped her lips and he felt slightly guilty for bringing her into this, but he knows she'd scold him if he tells her that, knows that no matter what the cause, she'll always be there for him and she's always made sure he remembered that.

"Shawn, listen to me okay? You are more than enough. You make me, your family and your true friends very very happy and proud. You are an inspiration to millions of people all over the world. And if there are aliens, I'm sure they've already heard of you and are amazed at how talented you are." Shawn shook his head with a light chuckle at her statement, a small smile creeping up his lips as he wiped his tears with the sleeves of his shirt, staying silent as he waited for her to continue.

"You are amazing, and whatever you do with you career or in life, I will be there to support you no matter what. Don't be too hard on yourself okay? You are an incredible person Shawn. Don't think too much about what people will think, just be yourself and the world will accept you for who you truly are, because you are incredible, the real you is incredible. That's why your fans love you so much Shawn, because you are already so genuine, and an honest, down-to-earth person. You don't let the fame get to you and you make everyone feel that you're not above anyone no matter how popular you are, and that's amazing Shawn, you are amazing. You are the strongest and bravest person I know and you can get through this, always. And whatever problem you face in life, just remember that your family and I will always be here by your side no matter the odds. You keep that in mind okay?" She stated firmly, but in the sweetest way she could possibly do, her voice radiating pure honesty and this made Shawn's heart grow ten times its size, a feeling of pure warmth spreading in his chest at her words.

"What would I do without you?" Shawn breathed out, voice filled with so much gratitude as he slowly calms down, taking all that she said in, fresh set of tears brimming in his eyes but with a completely different reason this time.

"Hey, we're not best friends for nothing." She replied casually and weirdly enough, Shawn felt a little pang in his chest as she said that. He doesn't know really know why–or maybe he does–because (Y/N) and him have been friends for as long as he can remember and it was nothing more than that.

She has always been there for him since the beginning and he is so grateful for that because without her, he wouldn't have stayed sane for this long. Being constantly exposed to the public eye is never an easy life and sometimes, everything can get very overwhelming, so it's always good to have someone to remind you that everything is going to be alright, that everything is going to get better. Sure he has his family and friends, but that person for him has mostly been (Y/N).

She's never failed to remind him where he came from and that he should always keep his feet on the ground. She doesn't let him forget that he is only human and it is okay to make mistakes from time to time, because that's what makes us normal. She has always been his rock, his shoulder to cry on whenever things get out of hand, to sum it all up she's just absolutely amazing in general.

She's such an amazing woman and anyone would be so lucky to have her. And of course, Shawn wanted to have something more with her but he pushed those feelings aside, scared that confessing to her would ruin their friendship, and thinking that she's far way out of his league. An incredible, amazing girl like her doesn't deserve someone with a chaotic lifestyle like his.

And let's just say he got occupied by other girls too. Plus, he's in a relationship at the moment. It's just not right to think about having feelings for his best friend, not right to think about another when he already has someone. And he's over his feelings since so long ago, well, at least he likes to think he has.

"Hello? Earth to Shawn Mendes?" Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts and brought him back to reality, him completely forgetting that he was still on the phone as his mind wandered off to the same person he was talking to. "Sorry, got lost in thought. You were saying?"

"You feel better now?" She asked again with a light giggle. "Yeah, thanks to you." Shawn smiled, for real this time and this earned a sweet 'Awww' from her, making him chuckle.

"Always, Shawn. But now tell me, what triggered this again?" Shawn sighed but didn't bother to answer since no matter what he says, (Y/N) will always know the truth even if he'll explain it to her lightly on what, or rather who caused his attack.

"Let me guess, its Madison again isn't it?" Shawn sighed again making (Y/N) let out an annoying groan on the other line. "Quit sighing Shawn and answer the damn question."

Shawn couldn't help but laugh, already picturing her rolling her eyes at him like she does most of the time. Shawn blew out his cheeks as he stared up at the ceiling, counting a few seconds before answering her damn question. "I mean yeah, kind of."

"What happened?"

"We just had a fight, it's no big deal." Shawn tried to brush it off, but knowing his best friend, she's not going to let it go that easily. "It's a big deal Shawn if you called me in the middle of the night."

Shawn frowned, glancing at the clock and sure enough it would be thirty pass two in the morning back in Toronto. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's fine dork, when I say you can call me any time, I truly mean it." Shawn's heart melted at that, feeling so thankful to have her in his life.

"But I didn't wake up for you not to tell me the full story Shawn. So, seriously what happened this time?" Shawn ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. There was no getting out of this. If he doesn't tell her the truth and just dance around the topic, then she will most likely get the truth herself, because knowing (Y/N), she would fly out all the way from Toronto to pester it out of him sooner rather than later.

"Well, we went out and ate at this restaurant just how normal couples would, then she excused herself to go to the bathroom so I took my phone out for the mean time. I was scrolling through Twitter when I realized she might have been gone too long, and when I looked up, I saw her talking to one of the managers at the back of the restaurant. I didn't think much of it because maybe it's one of her old friends or something. But then she started to get all handsy with him, touching his muscles, poking his chest in a flirtatious manner, whispering in each other's ear, giggling..." Shawn took a deep breath as he told (Y/N) what happened earlier, his stomach twisting as he starts to recall the earlier events. (Y/N) stayed silent but he knew that she was listening carefully to everything that he was saying and that he can take his time as much as he likes, so slowly, he continued.

"She caught me looking at them and as an instinct of mine; I quickly looked away and pretended that I didn't see anything but I was fucking fuming. I know that she knows that I saw everything so she quickly got back to our table and sat down like nothing happened. I was so mad at her but you know me, I'd rather stay silent and wait to deal with it when we get to somewhere private than confront her in public so I ignored her for the rest of the night. I don't know I just can't even look up at her without snapping so I just stayed glued to my phone. She tried to get my attention but everything she did, none of it worked. That's when she started to get irritated..."

***

"Is this how you treat a girl on a date Shawn?" Madison said loudly after he paid the bill, a few people near their table sending smothering as they start to eavesdrop.

"We can talk about it later Madison, don't try and make a scene." Shawn stated as calmly as he could with a straight face.

"I can't fucking believe you. You brought me here just to ignored me? Wow Shawn, you are such a gentleman." She said sarcastically, people around them whispering, some even have their phones out to try and make something out of this predicament. "Madison, please, not here." Shawn tried one more time to control the situation, as well keeping his nerves at bay but much to his dismay, she wasn't having it. "Why the hell not Shawn?" She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Madison..." Shawn said in a warning tone, jaw clenching as he glared up at her, and she only took this as a challenge. "What? You scared that people will know what kind of a douchebag you are?" She scoffed and that was the last straw for Shawn.

"That's it." He muttered deeply as he abruptly stood up, ignoring the stares as he grabbed her arm along with her purse and dragged her outside.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" Shawn said through gritted teeth as he quickly opened the passengers door and threw her bag inside out of frustration. He didn't wait for a response as he walked over to the driver's side and got in, slamming the door behind him. Once she slowly got inside of the car with her arms still crossed, Shawn continued.

"Why are you acting like you're the victim in this situation huh? I fucking saw you flirting with a guy Madison!" Shawn yelled, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as they stayed parked.

"Flirting? Oh my god Shawn, imagining things again aren't we?" She responded with a scoff, playing it off like she's done nothing wrong and this made Shawn even angrier. "I'm a guy! I think I fucking know it when a girl is flirting with a guy. I'm not fucking dumb!" He growled as he shot her a glare but she didn't back down, twisting the situation and putting the blame on him instead.

"You know what? I'm sick of this. You always treat me like I'm some kind of property you own. Now I can't talk to guys too? Wow, my ex was way better than you. There are a lot of guys who treated him better than you Shawn. You are nothing compared to them. You always hurt me Shawn, always. Now I feel so trapped like I can't even make my own decisions anymore because you're always jealous and possessive and I'm sick of it." And she cried just like that and Shawn only did nothing but stare at her blankly, his brain still processing everything that came out of her mouth and as to why the whole thing just flipped in no time.

"You're not going to say anything?" She sobbed but Shawn stayed quiet, his mind going elsewhere as he looked at her in pure confusion and shock.

"Fine!" She quickly took her bag and got out of the car, slamming the door shut before Shawn could even react, leaving him there alone to deal with his demons that started to consume his mind.

***

"When I drove back to the hotel, I began to overthink everything that she said. And being the stupid person that I am, I scrolled through twitter and read tweets about what people actually think of me and the next thing I knew I was reading through hate accounts and I got lost. Then everything was starting to go dark, that's why I quickly called you." Shawn took a deep breath as his voice began to get shaky, mind going back to where it was just minutes ago.

"Shawn, hey, calm down, breath. It's okay, I'm here." (Y/N) coed in that soothing voice of hers, Shawn quick to latch on to her words to keep himself calm. "It's okay rockstar, it's going to be okay, I promise." She whispered. Shawn closed his eyes as he lets out a shaky breath, his heart going back to a steady rate, her voice helping him in a way he can't really put into words. "Shawn? Still there bub?"

"Yeah, still here. Thank you (Y/N). God what would I do without you?" Shawn whispered.

"No need to thank me Shawn. I'll always be here remember? I already promised you that and I'd like to keep that promise for as long as I can."

Shawn shook his head in pure disbelief, "Have I told you how amazing you are? You are such an incredible person (Y/N) you have no idea." A small giggle was heard on the other line, followed by a soft and shy thank you that Shawn couldn't help but smile as he pictured her face all flushed as she always does whenever he gushes about her. A few seconds of silence hung in the air before she spoke again, "On another note," She paused for a moment, and Shawn already knows where this conversation is heading.

"You'll probably hate me for this but, why are you with a girl like her Shawn? You deserve so much better."

Shawn sighed, a hand raking through his hair as he tries to settle this without ending in an argument. "I don't know (Y/N), I just—I know she can be a handful at times but I just can't let her go. I don't know, I can't really explain it." He grumbled, he in himself properly conflicted as to what he truly feels.

If it was that easy, he would have left Madison a long time ago. He doesn't know why but he likes to give people plenty of chances, a huge thing that he needs to work on his part, because by the end of it all, people only take advantage of that and Shawn's learning that, slowly but painfully.

All Shawn heard was a sigh of disappointment on the other line. "I know your upset (Y/N) and that you aren't her biggest fan but I really do like her and I think I'm falling for her. That's why I am willing to give her another chance."

"How can you like her Shawn? She's a brat. All she ever does is blame you for the mistake that she made. I don't want you getting hurt at all and she's like a poisonous snake. There are better girls out there Shawn." The annoyance in her voice was so clear, and Shawn knows she'll never hide that from him because (Y/N) is always honest. Even if it upsets him that his best friend who means the world to him doesn't really get along with his girlfriend.

"We can't have this conversation again (Y/N), please. She's still my girlfriend." Shawn reasoned, not really in the mood to get an earful from her yet again about the same thing.

"Yeah okay fine. Sorry, well, I'm not really sorry for not liking her but yeah I'll stop." Shawn couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping his mouth, and just when he was going to say something back, another call came through.

"It's Madison, she wants to Facetime." Shawn sighed once he got a glance at the caller ID, not entirely happy about the interruption but glad to see that she's the one to reach out this time.

"Well, that's my cue. Go and sort things out with your girlfriend. I'll see you soon rockstar."

"See you honey. Thanks for everything." And with that Shawn ended the call and answered Madison with a slight dread, knowing that this was going to be a long night.

***

Few months later...

"Around what time would you like me to come over at your place?" (Y/N) asked on the other side of the phone, voice a bit muffled indicating that she must be on a walk or just out and about.

Shawn looked at the time for a quick moment before continuing to fish his car keys out of his pocket, a task he seemed to have a hard time of doing. "I don't really know yet. Maybe some time after lunch? I'm surprising Madison so maybe we'll go out for lunch and I don't know how long we'd be out." Shawn whispered a 'yes' as he finally found his keys after quite the struggle.

"Yeah, right." Shawn was met by the most uninterested tone he'd ever had the pleasure of hearing, making him let out a chuckle as he slowly got into his car. "Did you just roll your eyes at me missy?" Shawn joked, but already knowing that he was probably right.

"Oh my God! How on earth do you do that Shawn? We're on the phone but it's like you're seeing me on the other side." (Y/N)'s voice was laced with pure sarcasm, adding in a fake gasp as well to sell the act. "Oh, shut up." Shawn laughed, shaking his head as he reached for his seatbelt, connecting his phone with his car in the process.

He was on his way to Madison's house, one that she rented while she's in Toronto for a couple of weeks for some project they never got the chance to talk about. Shawn on the other hand just flew in last night and didn't tell her in an attempt for it to be a surprise, since he hasn't seen Madison for a while now. The only person he told that he was back home was his family and (Y/N), of course.

"But seriously though, how did you guess that right?" She asked just as Shawn drove off, her voice now booming around the car.

"I just know that whenever I mention Madison, you always roll your eyes." Shawn pointed out the obvious. "Just like right now." He added, earning a hearty laugh from the girl.

"I mean how can I not? Just her name itself annoys me. That fucking snak–"

"(Y/N)..." Shawn warned before she could even finish her sentence, though a smile did made its way to his lips at how stubborn his best friend is, not even giving Madison a slight chance to redeem herself.

"Oops, I'm sorry sir, I'll stop." Shawn shook his head with a chuckle, purely amuse at how (Y/N) is just is, and oh how much he adores her. "You are something else aren't you?"

"Well you love me that way so..." Shawn rolled his eyes with a scoff, but never did deny what she said because it was the truth. He does love her, but maybe in a different way as she thinks he does.

"Yeah, whatever." Shawn tried his best to keep his voice casual but his mind was running a hundred miles per minute as he starts to think about where his heart really does lie, because it would be very unfair to both girls if he himself aren't sure of what he feels.

Was he really still in love with his best friend?

"Anyways, do you need something? I'm stopping at the grocery store later to get a few things." (Y/N)'s voice slightly startled him as he got lost in thought again, but he was quick to compose himself as he turned the curb, arriving just in front of Madison's house. "Nope, it's fine, just arrived at Madison's. I'll see you later yeah?"

"Yup, see you later Shawn." She sighed with a hint of disappointment in her tone. Shawn was about to ask her what's wrong but he kind of already have a clue what it was just judging by the name he has mentioned. As much as he wants (Y/N) to accept Madison and just see pass through her mistakes, she can't really blame her if she can't, given the fact that Madison has hurt him plenty of times, (Y/N) being the witness of the aftermath.

"Don't bail on me (Y/N)." Shawn warned jokingly, though he was making sure that their plan was still a go. Her laugh echoed throughout Shawn's car, the sound tugging a smile on his lips.

"Never." She breathed out, the sound almost like an inaudible whisper, soft and gentle. An answer to his question but Shawn knows that the simple word held so much more. That whatever happens, she'll always be there, that she'll never stop being there for him and this made Shawn's heart skip a beat.

Shawn brushed this feeling off and didn't think much of it, shoving the thought in the back of his mind as he says one last goodbye. Once she hung up, Shawn disconnected his phone and got out of the car, mind in different directions as he walked towards the front door.

About three steps away from the door, Shawn suddenly felt uneasy, a certain gut feeling he can't seem to ignore making him think that something was up, but he continued to take steps forward.

As he placed his hand on the doorknob, he heard noises that made him stop dead in his tracks. Shawn's breathing stared to grow heavy, his hands shaking as his heart pumps blood around his body two times its normal speed. The voice in the back of his head telling him that he should ready myself for what he was about to see, but even if he tried, he was sure he will never be ready for this, not now, not ever.

Shawn twisted the doorknob slowly, the sound only growing louder as he pushed the door open as quietly as possible, like he was sneaking into someone's house without their consent but then again, that was kind of the situation.

Once he was inside, the noises just became unbearable at that point and he so badly just wanted to throw up, head spinning as his heart thumped loud against his chest. Shawn swallowed a huge lump in his throat as he lumbered his way towards the living room, not even sure what to do if he sees what he thinks was happening but when he finally reached the space, his heart was quick to drop and shatter as soon as his eyes confirmed what his brain was telling him.

There she was, his girlfriend on top of some guy that he doesn't even know, both half naked and moaning in pleasure as loud as they can, making sure the neighbors could hear. They were so caught up with what they were doing that they've grown oblivious to the fact that Shawn was right there, standing frozen and heartbroken, watching them attentively even if he so badly just wanted to look away.

All the blood drained from Shawn's face as it slowly rushed up his brain, and that's when all he saw was red. "What the actual fuck?" He yelled once he was back to his senses, making both heads snap in his direction, them looking at him with nothing but wide eyes.

Madison stood abruptly, trying her best to cover her body, guilt and fear written all across her face but Shawn ignored her as he launched himself towards the guy, not even thinking with a clear mind anymore.

"What the fuck man!" Shawn screamed, throwing a punch across his face and actually managing to hit him hard, having the element of surprise to his advantage but Shawn was never a fighter, so he was easily caught off guard when the other guys managed to land a punch square on his cheek.

Shawn stumbled back, a warm feeling coming out of his nose but he casually wipes it off with the back of his hand, never taking his eyes of the guy as he continued to walk forwards not even scared if he was going to get beaten down as his anger only fueled him to keep going.

The guy was the first to throw in another punch, Shawn unable to dodge it as it landed right on his eyebrow, head now starting to throb but still, he kept going as he threw another one back and it was a full on back and forth at that point.

Shawn gave a few punches and received some more, both guys now on the floor with Shawn managing to stay on top, knuckle colliding with the guy's face over and over until Shawn's fist was fully covered with blood, the other guy managing to reach a hand out, fingernail digging right in Shawn's face, making him curse out loud.

"Stop! Both of you stop!" Madison shrieked in horror, and that's when Shawn managed to stop, chest heaving up and down as he stood up slowly, eyes glued to the man as he growled. "Leave."

He staggered up, collected his clothes and rushed towards the door without another word, enabling Shawn to turn his full attention towards Madison. "Shawn he–"

"What? You're going tell me that I'm making things up again? Or that you accidentally fell on top of him while losing your clothes in the process? I fucking saw it with my own eyes Madison! You fucked another guy behind my back, or should I say right in front of my fucking face. You cheated. Simple as that, your bullshit won't work on me this time so don't even try." Shawn shook his head in pure disbelief as he tried to keep himself together, the actual truth of what he just saw tasting so vile in his mouth.

"So what are you going to do? Break up with me?" She said crossing her arms across her chest, voice a bit shaky but raising her eyebrow nonetheless, as if he was challenging him. Shawn only let out a sarcastic laugh, eyes almost rolling to the very back of his head as if it was so hard for him to just that.

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm going to do." He stated loud and clear, venom laced in every word. "I'm done with all your bullshit. I should've done this a long time ago. (Y/N) was right, I deserve so much better. I'm done Madison, it's over." Shawn added ready to turn his back on her and leave this hell hole called a relationship, so fucking mad at himself for not doing it sooner.

"Fine! Go! I've never loved you anyway! You were useful for my reputation while it lasted." She screamed out just as Shawn pulled the door open, his heart breaking even more as he rushed to his car, struggling to keep his feet under him while his mind started to get darker as seconds ticked by.

Once he slammed the door shut, that's when he broke down, floods of tears running down his face as he turned the engine on, a very reckless decision but Shawn didn't care as he drove off, fast and hot headed.

His mind and body shutting down all at once, judgment entirely clouded as he started not to care about anything, his demons feeding his dark thought more as he felt the loss of care for his own life.

Fuck everything. Fuck life.

-:-:-:-:-

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ineffablemiracles · 5 years

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In which the angel Crowley gives the demon Aziraphale a predatory plant as a joke, and immediately regrets everything:

Soho, 1968

It was meant to be a joke. The angel known on earth for a large number of years now as Anthony J. Crowley--and A.J. Crowley Jr., etc, etc as the years passed--was very, very fond of plants. And the demon Aziraphale, as far as Crowley had been able to determine, didn’t really think much of them one way or the other. So when Crowley came across the small venus fly trap at the greenhouse, he couldn’t resist. Maybe a plant that caught its own food would at least amuse Aziraphale, who’d been inexplicably grumpy the last couple of centuries. Someday I’m going to learn not to listen to my impulses. “It, uh… you just water it.” Crowley said to the demon, who was holding the little potted plant as though it might explode. Or worse, get dirt all over his neat suit. Now that the angel was here in the demon’s shop (Mr. Fell’s Curious and Carnal Antiquities), it didn’t seem like all that good of an idea after all, but it was rather too late to take the thing back. “It’ll feed itself. It eats flies.” “Ooooooooh.” A complete change came over Aziraphale, his expression brightening as he poked curiously at the nearest bud, watching as it closed in response to what it hoped was prey. “You mean, it’s carnivorous?!” Crowley began to doubt every choice he’d ever made. “Well, yeah. I guess. Technically.” Rubbing the back of his neck, Crowley debated his chances of grabbing the thing and making a run for the door. Not good, since Aziraphale was now practically cooing to the tiny plant, holding its pot close without even worrying about his clothes for once. “It’s not like it could eat anything much bigger than a fly, after all.” These things didn’t grow much, did they? Crowley didn’t think so. It should have been a comfort, but he knew as well as any celestial being that when something got exposed to Divine or Infernal energies for extended periods of time, ‘normal’ tended to go out the window. Especially energies with intent--like the devious gleam he saw in Aziraphale’s eyes now.

“Well. We all have to start somewhere, now don’t we?” Aziraphale said, cheerfully, talking to the plant as though Crowley had already left. He looked around, finally deciding to put the little pot on his huge, ancient desk. “And flies. Hmm. You know, I think I’ll call you Bub. Lord Beelzebub can’t be too displeased with my naming you after them, with you being such an adorable little hunter. Even if you do help get rid of all the little pests they leave behind every time they visit.”

“...” None of this was going as planned. Crowley had expected Aziraphale to give the plant back to him. Possibly by throwing it at his head, considering the demon’s recent moods. Certainly the most positive outcome he’d imagined was Aziraphale being faintly interested or amused before telling the angel to take the thing away. This strange, almost paternal response was, quite frankly, terrifying.

“I shall have to go out and find a book on proper care tomorrow,” Aziraphale was still fussing over the plant, oblivious to anything else. Crowley cleared his throat, and the demon looked up. “Ah, oh yes. Crowley. Thank you for the unexpected gift, my dear Angel. I’ll take such good care of it.”

That’s what I’m afraid of. Crowley managed a thin smile, and shook his head mutely when Aziraphale asked him if he’d dropped by for anything else. He needed to get away from… whatever this was. Seeing Aziraphale acting like someone with a new baby over a plant was definitely one of the oddest things he’d ever seen the demon do. Crowley fled. Climbing up the outside steps from Aziraphale’s dark basement shop, Crowley couldn’t shake the feeling that the joke was on him.

Soho, Present Day

The plant had disappeared from Aziraphale’s desk a few months after Crowley had brought it to him, and a while after that, the angel had honestly forgotten about it. Life resumed as normal, the two coming into contact regularly, either for company or to discuss something that fell under the Arrangement. Tonight was one of the former, Crowley happily sprawled on a chair in the demon’s shop and sipping wine. He could feel that Aziraphale had something he wanted to spring on him, but he was too pleasantly drunk to be apprehensive.

The shoe dropped sometime around their third glass of wine, and it took Crowley’s stomach with it.

“Crowley, my dear, all of these years and you’ve never once asked how Bub is doing. Why is that, I wonder?”.

“When I didn’t see it on your desk anymore I figured--” Hoped. “--that you’d gotten tired of it and gotten rid of it. Or that it died or something.” “Oh, my, no. He just needed a bit more space. Would you like to come see him?”

“Him?”

“Well, it turns out that Dionaea muscipula aren’t gender specific plants, so I just picked at random. Besides, he seems like a he.” Aziraphale’s pale blue eyes sparkled wickedly.

“Right. Of course he does.” Crowley’s legs felt like they were made of lead, and it was all he could do to get up and follow his longtime friend. Over the years his nightmares had been periodically visited by various imaginings of a predatory plant under extended demonic influences. Reality, for once, didn’t disappoint. Of course not. Not when I want it to.

Bub, or ‘the thing’ as it would forever after be known as in Crowley’s head, had his own room. He had to. The plant barely fit as it was, brushing the ceiling as though looking for more space to expand. It had at least three times as many mouths as when Crowley had last seen it, and each one was more than large enough to fit an entire person in. In fact, one of them was closed around a large lump that Crowley absolutely refused to look more closely at. He might actually see what was in it.

This is it. This is the thing that gets me kicked out of Heaven. If there’s anything left to kick after Gabriel gets done with me, anyway. ‘How did you Fall, Crowley?’ ‘Oh, I gave a demon a man-eating plant. You know. Just for a laugh.’ “Crowley?” Aziraphale’s voice cut into Crowley’s horrified internal monologue. The demon was standing right next to Bub, patting the outside of one of its mouths. The angel wasn’t sure if it was that or the fact that the plant actually lowered its head to be ‘petted’ that disturbed him more. “Aren’t you going to say hello?”

“Hello… Bub…” Crowley’s mouth was currently working without any help from his brain. So was his body, because when the entire assemblage of leaves, vines and gaping maws actually turned in his direction, the angel took an involuntary step backward.

“Oh, don’t worry, Bub. Uncle Crowley’s just impressed with how much you’ve grown.” Aziraphale gave the plant another reassuring pat, then looked up and smiled. “Crowley. You’re not scared, are you?”

“Aziraphale…” Crowley cleared his throat, continued almost a full octave lower. Uncle Crowley? Really? “You can’t. That thing is…”

“Oh, nonsense. Bub has never had a meal that wasn’t already firmly destined for Hell,” Aziraphale tsks. “In fact, he’s probably helped you out indirectly by getting rid of some of the worst--” “Nope.” Crowley shushed the demon with a gesture. Plausible deniability. That’s what I need. The less I hear, the less I have to pretend doesn’t exist. The only alternative was to destroy Bub, and probably a six thousand year old friendship with it. Call him selfish, but Crowley wasn’t ready to do that. “I don’t want to know. I was never in here. I never saw this. If you mention Bub again, I’m going to imagine you’re talking about a cute, fluffy little kitten.”

“Ah. Ah, right. Yes.” Aziraphale raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirked upwards. “I suppose I wasn’t thinking about that side of things. Very well. Back to the wine, then?” “Yes. Wine. Wine is good. Wine is nice.” As if there was enough wine in the world to make the angel forget he saw this. Crowley sighed. “Better open a few extra bottles.”

((Now also on AO3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/21076571 ))

#good omens #reverse omens #crowley #aziraphale #angel!crowley #demon!aziraphale #my art #my fic #fic blurbs with art #good omens fanart #good omens fanfic

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elitemarketingpro5-blog · 4 years

Text

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bapydemonprincess · 4 years

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Sebannah: Hell is Where the Heart Is

https://picrew.me/image_maker/59568

A demon formerly known as Sebastian Michaelis returns to Hell after one of the longest contracts they’ve ever had to endure finally comes to an end. What follows is the aftermath; a long bout of insolation and suffering while their body, now free to take on their true form, and mind, which is free as well from the shackles that once bound them but not completely, try to recuperate and return to the norm they once knew in this place that is supposed to be “home”. Strangely enough, this demon’s recent actions has grown some gossip in Hell, and thus an old familiar demon comes calling to strip them down and help them really deal with the fallout.

Hannah stepped into the grand- if dark -throne room, of the marchioness that now resided within, so obviously wallowing there in the middle, in her darkest, deepest gown, even when most demons such as them did not need to wear humanity’s dressings.

“Hello again... little corvus.” Hannah greeted, immediately breaking from the norm to stay formal when addressing another demon in their domain, even if you were more powerful than they.

“Hmph,” The smaller demon huffed, and crossed one leg over the other. “What do you want.. Miss Annafellows?”

This only prompted the elder to put her hand to her mouth as she snickered a bit.

And of course that only got an even worse response from the moody little thing.

“What??”

“Ah, yes, I forgot... despite how high your rank, you only know so many demons of the highest power, don’t you? And all because you have kept to yourself when back here.. Never going to meetings or parties.. even when invited.”

“Those times are very few and far inbetween.” the demon sighed out and kept her now blotchy face turned away stubbornly. “I’ll ask again, O’ High Matriarch Hannah Annafellows, what do you want?”

“To talk to you.” She stated simply.

“About..?”

“How your last contract went, of course.” She stared across the way into the younger demon’s eyes knowingly, as she clearly already knew what was to come, but she wanted immensely to hear it out loud.

A sigh that was loud enough to echo in the spacious chamber answered her a moment, before the younger lifted her arms in a brief but dramatic shrug.

“It went, Miss Annafellows. We settled for a fair trade, I stayed with them for quite a while, and then once I helped him with everything, I got what I wanted, and that was that.”

Hannah continued to patiently smile, and did not say a thing for a moment longer, before she slowly shook her head back and forth.

“No, I do not think “that was that”, little one.”

And at once the little temperamental thing was growling and glaring with bright crimson eyes.

“What do you mean by that, Miss Annafellows.”

“Exactly as I said, dear. I want to hear everything, and I know there is more. You were gone in this contract for almost ten years. Even by our standards that is very suspicious. What kind of contract was it? Were they a human full to the brim with lust, or a human absolutely desperate for that human thing love? Is that what kept you there? Were you forced into some kind of utterly horrendous forced romance and-”

“IT WAS NOTHING LIKE ANY OF THAT, AND YOU WILL CONTINUE NO FURTHER IF YOU WISH TO- T-TO....”

The small demon had shot out of her throne and stepped forward a few feet, not entirely up close in personal, but she had come forward, eyes blazing even fiercer, teeth LONG and gleaming. She looked ready to massacre anything and everything in the vicinity at a seconds notice.

But Hannah’s posture and face did absolutely nothing. If anything, her lips merely moved up just a little, and her eyes shimmered like she wanted to burst out laughing right this minute.

“Ahhh, I see.” She started again. “It was that kind of contract.”

“Y-You do not-”

“I know, little one. I know better than anyone.” Hannah swiftly corrected even before the little demon could say it. “So... how old was he when you came to him?”

The demon whirled around, back to her throne. Her head bowed and her shoulders up high.

“... Barely twelve years old..” She whispered.

“Oh dear. And I am assuming this whole thing happened against his will? Surely no human boy that age could easily find the means-”

“There was a cult, using him and his twin brother. They sacrificed his brother.. to summon me.”

“Ah yes, the sacrifice..” Hannah sighed out, and shook her head. “It is truly ghastly what humans will resort to to get what they want.”

“I didn’t care at the time. I saw the boy who called me, and I- I sensed his soul. BRIMMING with righteous fury at having lost so much, at having come so far, and I-”

“As every demon would. But after years and years of living with that young human, little corvus, you felt a connection even stronger than that of the contract. With how long you had to protect and nurture such a fragile youth.. as all young humans are the most fragile compared to you.. you kept going, even if you knew the time eventually would come. And when it did-”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT, HANNAH?!” The other shrieked again, whirling back around and glaring again through her elder. “DID YOU COME HERE JUST TO MOCK ME, TO RUB IT IN THAT I’VE BECOME SO SOFT?? HUH?? TO LAUGH IN MY FACE BECAUSE YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE WISER, AND MORE POWERFUL, A-AND-”

“Calm yourself, calm yourself, shhhh.” Hannah stepped closer, but not too much closer. She knew this was bound to happen after discovering what had befallen the famous odd demon. She was fully aware of where to draw the line, and how to do it.

She had a reason after all.

“I didn’t come here for anything like that. Though I know it may seem like it, and I am terribly sorry it has come down to this; to other demons, whether of higher or lower rank treating you this way, when the reality is that.. what you’ve gone through these past years is not as abnormal as it may seem, dear one. Far from it.”

Hannah sighed out deeply and shook her head.

“We seemed to have all forgotten.. how close demons actually are to those who dwell on earth... Why else would we seek out their souls? Why else would we be drawn to them at all? It isn’t just about hunger...We have always wished to be like humans ourselves, hence why we could not stay with the perfect beings above earth. And so.. ever since our fall, we have remained in the shadows of humankind.”

Hannah looked back up from having looked away into some distance that seemed to remind and reflect her true age. Her eyes shined with so much emotion. Just as clear as a human’s face would be.

“Because we are their shadows.”

The little marchioness flopped back into her throne and hunched forward, elbows in her lap and hands covering her face. She looked an absolute wreck now and was not trying to hide it any longer. Hannah had torn that all down so fast.

“I ask again,” she uttered through little hands. “Why are you here.”

The elder huffed a laugh, so very quiet it might have never been noticed if she’d been dealing with someone who wasn’t a fellow demon.

“Because I missed you.”

The little one slowly peeked up from her hands, her eyes huge at those words; confusion and disbelief crystal clear as day on her face.

Hannah continued, though.

“I know, yes I know. It has been a long, long time since we’ve even passed each other, so why would I be missing you?” She chuckled and shook her head again. “Because, little one, you are you. You have always stood out to me, even back then when you were even less powerful. Your spirit, your personality, it truly stood out amongst our own kind!”

“Right, and that’s why so many of our “kind” are lining up to come see me.” The small demon scoffed, straightening up and instead propping her elbow on her throne arm, resting her face in her hand as she rolled her eyes. She had no idea what Hannah was selling now, but she wasn’t buying it for a second.

“Yes, they fear what they don’t understand. They’ve never understood you, and I... I’ve always admired that about you.”

She took another step closer.

“Why, these past years when I was out on Earth myself and I saw things like those little felines you love so much, they instantly made me think of you. You and all of your soft beauty, just like the furry patterns on those animals.”

The little demon looked ready to squirm, starting to get mixed signals from all this. Could... could Hannah be...

“I’ve known before this contract, you had also started staving off on eating souls. Going much longer without eating than was normal for us... I understood why, but it still concerned me as well, and as I learned also of your recent contract and how long it took, I grew even more worried... Even the strongest of our kind that go from starvation...”

The Marchioness looked away, eyes trying to remain steely as she looked at the far wall.

“And why do you care? Why would it matter if the odd one died? No other demon would mourn, why would you?”

“Like I said, I missed you...

..... Naberius.”

She spoke her true name.

Hannah stood there and observed the reaction, seeing the other demon suddenly sit straight up and stare like a sudden wreck had just occurred in front of her eyes, as it was fairly rare at all for demons to speak each other’s true names.

And Hannah had an inkling the other rarely heard hers at all.

And so with that out of the way, the elder stepped even closer. Closer and closer, completely obliterating any and all gaps of space between them, until she stood not a foot in front of the other, but even less.

Personal space was something very important to all demons, though they socialised and saw each other on occasion, they all knew of their own power; of their own tempers and hostility. There were very few reasons for demons to get so close to each other.

One being to challenge the other to a fight, and the other reason being...

Hannah smiled down at the trembling, glaring demon in her throne, and put her own hands on Naberius’ that were clutching at her chair arms for dear life.

She leaned in, and bared her own teeth, and showed her own red crimson eyes, as she made her claim.

“I missed you, and I want you, Naberius. For my own.”

And with such intensity, it almost sounded like a statement, as if she knew she already HAD the little, fairer demon.

“W-Why do you want me?” The small demon hissed, nearly sinking in and shrinking in her throne as the other demon loomed over her.

“Why wouldn’t I? Why wouldn’t any demon with a logical mind?” The elder scoffed, casually reaching out and stroking the other’s soft, flushed cheek and jaw and barely, only barely holding it, and yet smirking further as such a little touch made the other shake and flounder more. “As I told you, you are unique among us, and I feel it is my duty, after you so stupidly starved yourself for so long, to protect you, to keep my eye on you, for the rest of time.”

This made the other’s eyes grow, absolutely baffled now, and looking so lost.

“You.. you’re lying. You wouldn’t want me... You.. you could settle for anyone, why would-”

“Ah, well, if you still don’t believe me,” And then Hannah gracefully pulled back, and turned away, already walking towards the exit as she lifted her arms in a shrug. “Then I suppose there’s nothing for it. I have done what I came here for, I have made my offer.. but I suppose you just cannot handle it; the prospect of being with another. Especially no matter their power or rank. Understandable. Farewell, little-”

“NO NO NO, WAIT!!!” Naberius suddenly shrieked and was at Hannah’s side, not right behind her, but she stopped just a little before, as still there was... something..

Hannah turned back around, and saw the little demon standing there, shaking violently in place with hands clutching her gown harshly, head bowed. But not enough to hide her lower lip being stabbed by her fang, nor the deep hue of red on her face.

“I... I-I am honoured that you would come to me... I truly am... And I.. I...” She looked almost physically pained to say this, but knew it had to be done. “.. I HAVE WANTED YOU IN RETURN, M-MISS ANNAFELLOWS! FOR SO LONG, EVER SINCE MEETING YOU CENTURIES AGO, I-I LOOKED UP TO YOU, AND IDOLIZED YOU, AND F-FOR YOU TO SUGGEST THIS, I...”

She finally lifted her head completely, showing tears streaming down a red face, and nose possibly leaking as well.

“I ... a-accept...” She choked out. “I.. I can’t stand b-being... a-alone.. anymore. Not... Not after that. Not after.. losing him...”

And before the little demon could let out a even a single wail of her turmoil, Hannah was back, clutching her tight, big warm arms around her, and promising to never ever let go, nor let the strange demon suffer alone ever again.

#My writing #kuroshitsuji #black butler #femslash february #sebastian michaelis #fembastian #Hannah Annafellows #Sebannah #WHEW THIS TOOK A BIT #Hope you all enjoy!!#🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜

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duhragonball · 5 years

Text

Dragon Ball Z Movie 12: Fusion Reborn (2/6)

This time around, I’ll try to explain just what Janemba is, exactly, and why he’s a big deal. But to do that, we have to get through the first ten minutes of this movie, so...

Movie 12 opens at the Grand Kai Planet, then pans to an asteroid orbiting the planet, where there’s a stadium hosting a tournament. I never really paid attention to it before, but this is a whole other venue than the one used in DBZ 196-199. If nothing else, this arena has a big green ring. It looks like it’s made ouf of jade or something. It’s a really nice touch.

I always assumed that the idea here was to hold a second Otherworld Tournament, since the one from Episodes 196-199 ended without a winner. Then again, it’s been seven years since that event, so it seems odd that they would have waited so long. On the other hand, everyone involved is either dead or a Kai, so seven years may not seem like that long a wait.

King Kai, also known as the North Kai, is feeling really confident, since his top fighter, Goku, dominated the last tournament. As before, East Kai and South Kai’s camps aren’t doing very well at all.

But South Kai is still confident, since one of his fighters is still in the semifinals. The subs refer to him as “Clove”, but I’m pretty sure he’s talking about Frog, or “Frogue” as he’s credited in the Funimation version.

So he and King Kai bicker about who’s gonna win, but Goku beats Frogue with a single kick, and I’m pretty sure the bout was shorter than their argument.

Meanwhile, Pikkon defeats Aqua, aka Argua, in the other semifinal match. I guess Aqua must have improved over the past seven years to have made it this far.

So that eliminates the East and South Galaxies from the tournement. South Kai immediately starts rooting for Pikkon just to spite King Kai. It’s kind of weird how Pikkon is a West Galaxy guy, but we don’t hear a lot from West Kai in this movie. Maybe South Kai got the nod because he was actually in the manga, so he’s more “canonical” than the West or East Kais.

So the final match is Goku vs. Pikkon, in a rematch of their epic match from Episodes 198 and 199. That ended in a draw when both men touched the ceiling of the arena, and maybe that’s why they switched the venue this time.

Both men do Respect Knuckles and the match begins.

What I like about this movie is that this isn’t even the main story, but it totally could have been. Toei did a five episode arc about the Grand Kai holding a tournament of all these dead fighters. They could have done a movie that was just a sequel to that arc. I don’t know how well-received it would have been, but I would have gone for it. Maybe a new fighter dies and joins this group in the afterlife, and Goku has trouble against him. Maybe you have Broly escape hell and crash the tournament. There’s a lot of cool things you can do with this, but you could just have Goku and Pikkon fight some more.

But Movie 12 has even bigger things to get to, so this is just a scene to establish some of the characters. And that’s how this movie rolls. You could expand this story into a twenty-or-thirty-episode saga very easily.

So we move on to King Yemma’s place, which the dub refers to as the “Check-In Station.” I’m not super-familiar with Japanese mythology concerning the afterlife, but my understanding is that when you die, you go to King Yemma for judgement. DBZ satirizes this idea by having the dead people’s souls wait in line, and all the oni who work for Yemma are like white collar wage slaves, and King Yemma has a desk with a big rubber stamp to notarize each soul’s fate.

In this particular scene, they’re having a busy day, probably echoing the episodes from the Buu Saga where millions of people were showing up every few minutes while Majin Buu was wiping out the Earth’s population. Yemma’s basically zipping right through these guys, which I think is meant to be ironic. I feel like the real King Yemma is supposed to take longer to examine a person’s moral character.

Anyway, if you get sent to Heaven, you’re escorted to this big aircraft that flies you to a planet somewhere in Otherworld. We’ll see it later in the Fusion Saga, but the plane was last seen in Episode 195, although Goku used a second, smaller plane to travel to the Grand Kai Planet.

On the other hand, I’m pretty sure this hole that opens up in the wall is new. In Episode 195, Goku and King Kai just walked through a doorway.

If you’re condemned to Hell, you have to go through a machine to cleanse your soul of evil. I was under the impression that hell itself was meant to do that, but this franchise can never make up its mind about how hell works.

According to Episode 237, when you’re a bad person and you die, you don’t get to keep your body like Goku did, and your soul is eventually purged of memory, and reincarnated as a new life form. I don’t know how much of that is based on actual Japanese mythology, if any, but at least in DBZ, the idea of hell is not to act as a place of eternal suffering for the wicked. It’s more like a very long jail sentence, designed to redeem the wicked so that they can proceed onto reincarnation or maybe some other phase of existence. The suffering is part of the rehabilitation process.

I think that’s why Frieza still had his body in Movie 15, even after so many years in hell. They let him keep it, but only so he could experience greater torment. In theory, he would get so worn down that he would come to accept his punishment as the rightful consequence of all his evil deeds, and then his body would dissipate and he would lose his memory and identity. But Frieza’s such a hateful bitch that he hung in there long enough to get wished back to life.

On the other hand, these souls are all formless clouds. It seems like only important characters get to keep their bodies in hell. That may just be a convenience for the audience, or maybe stronger bad guys can maintain their physical form more easily. Maybe that’s why they didn’t send Frieza through this machine. He would have gummed up the works and broken it. Maybe it’s only used for the not-so-evil souls who are easier to deal with. Instead of spending 100,000 years climbing the needle mountain, they can just go through the cleansing machine and move on.

Whatever the case, this movie establishes that a machine cleans souls and extracts their evil residue in the form of a dark purple liquid that gets stored in special tanks.

And they have an oni on duty to keep an eye on things and switch out the tanks when they get full. But it’s a dull job, and the pay sucks, so he listens to a Walkman and plays air guitar to help pass the time.

But King Yemma’s sending an awful lot of people to hell today. He’s not even taking a break for lunch. So that waste tank’s going to fill up quickly.

Okay, I just realized that all of these guys wear tiger-striped clothes, and I think that’s because oni in folklore wear tiger-skins. They do in Yu Yu Hakusho, and I assume they dress a little more authentically there. Their version of King Yemma is treated like a bigger deal. Anyway, one of the older workers scolds the Tank Clerk for slacking off, and threatens him with a pay cut.

He also points out the rapidly filling tank, and the clerk seems enthusiastic about switching it, but he never actually does.

I really dig this guy’s jacket. That skull and crossbones looks cool.

But soon enough, there’s an overload on the waste system, and the line breaks. I guess the oni don’t believe in relief flanges, but maybe spiritual waste is too hazardous to release into the atmosphere. Well, it’s happening now.

Tank Clerk knows right away that he’s screwed. He’s worried for his job, and he has no idea what to do about a spill this big. I think it’s more than just the one tank breaking. Like, somehow it set off a chain reaction that blew all the other tanks they had sitting nearby. Man, OSHA would have a field day with this place. Why is Tank Clerk wearing shorts to work when he’s surrounded by toxic waste? What good is a fire extinguisher going to do? Does he have no idea how to respond to this situation? Who here does?

But then things go from bad to worse, as the spirit waste mutates him into some sort of bizarre creature.

Yeah, you might want to have a doctor take a look at that.

As soon as King Yemma hears what’s going on, he shits a brick. Those tanks contained accumulated evil from countless souls that have been through that cleansing machine. Why didn’t they dispose of any of it? Can it be destroyed? Is that Beerus’ job? Like he just shows up every hundred years and zaps the full tanks into oblivion? Well, he won’t be invented for another 18 years, so Yemma’s on his own for this one.

As for Tank Clerk, well he looks like this now.

Then he sits on top of Yemma’s building and... I’m not really sure what this is. Let’s start over. So this monster that was once the Tank Clerk only says one word, and that’s “Janemba”, which isn’t even a word, I think. So everyone calls him that like it’s his name.

Apparently his power is some sort of reality manipulation? That’s pretty vague, actually, since manipulating reality implies you can basically do anything, but what else can I call this? Janemba creates all these huge jellybean-looking crystals, and some of them used to be other objects, but maybe others were created from nothing. I think he encased Yemma’s palace in a crystal, but it sort of looks like he distorted the building at the same time.

Inside, things look pretty normal, but there’s some crystal formations within the building, and one of the ogres gets encased in it himself.

Also, Janemba can project his image in different parts of these crystals. Maybe this is meant to be simple reflections and refractions, but it seems more magical than that.

Yemma seems to understand what’s going on better than I do, but there’s nothing he can do about it. Janemba is the result of the tank clerk being possessed by the evil ki in the spirit waste. This gave him the ability to surround Yemma’s domain with a barrier, and that barrier has suspended Yemma’s control over the boundary between the living world and the afterlife. The only way to stop it is to defeat Janemba, and Yemma can’t very well do this while he’s trapped in his own stronghold.

As I think about it, I sort of wonder if it’s not just the spiritual waste and the evil ki it contains that gave Janemba this power. Maybe it has something to do with the Tank Clerk as well, since he’s an oni. Alone, he’s just a lowly subordinate of Yemma, but he must have some sort of power in matters of the living and the dead, and maybe all this evil ki amplified that to make him strong enough to thwart King Yemma.

But that only explains “how”. There’s still the question of “why?” It’s often pointed out that Janemba is a pretty weak villain because he doesn’t talk and he has no apparent goals or motives. But I think that’s a common trait with a lot of Dragon Ball villains.

Pilaf and Piccolo wanted to conquer the world, but I’m pretty sure both guys only said that because that’s such a stock answer. It’s a vague expression of desire for power and control, but Pilaf can’t even run more than two people at a time, and Piccolo only wanted to rule the world so he could destroy its people and stick it to Kami. I think you can lump in with that all the bad guys who wanted to be immortal: Garlic Junior, Frieza, Vegeta. Lord Slug only wished for youth, but that’s just because he lacked the imagination to wish or immortality. The ultimate point was just to eliminate any threats to their existing power.

Then you have guys like Turles and Dr. Wheelo, who only seemed to be interested in acquiring greater power for themselves. There were hints in Movies 2 and 3 about what those guys would do with their power once they had enough. Wheelo would probably continue doing evil experiments on the world, and Turtles maybe would have overthrown Frieza, but Turles strikes me as a free spirit, and he only wanted to be strong enough to keep guys like Frieza from hassling him. For all we know, Dr. Wheelo only wanted Goku’s body because he missed having sex.

Then you’ve got the revenge squad: Dr. Gero, Cooler, Crane Hermit, Paragus, Broly ‘93, Lord Jaguar, Babidi. All of these guys wanted blood in exchange for some personal slight that really isn’t worth it. Well, Jaguar didn’t actually want to kill anyone, but that only makes him an idiot. You don’t clone an army of bio-warriors unless you want someone dead.

The point I’m getting at here is that most of these guys have really lousy motivations, and that doesn’t even get into the villains with seemingly no motivations at all.

Commander Red wanted to be taller, which is so stupid he kept it a secret because he knew it was stupid, and the only guy he told ended up shooting him in the face because of how stupid it was.

Mercenary Tao was in it for money, even though he famously never paid for anything.

Tien wanted to kill people because he looked up to killers until they started killing people he liked.

Android 17 and Cell wanted to have fun. I’d throw 18 into that group, but honestly, I think she just sort of went along with whatever 17 did, which is almost sadder.

Who the hell knows what Bojack wanted? He got killed before he could really spell it out.

And then you have Majin Buu, who doesn’t even understand his own motivations. He thought he only killed people for fun, and then when he decided it was wrong, he stopped, only to transform into another form who wanted to fight, and then another form who killed people for its own sake.

Now these are all really shitty motivations, and yet at the same time a lot of these guys are classic villains. That’s because the thesis of Dragon Ball is that power without purpose is self-defeating. Goku uses his strength to improve himself and help others. The bad guys always try to use their power for selfish reasons, and it always leads to empty achievements. Conquests they can’t enjoy, endless searches for fulfillment, and pointless scrambling for even greater power. Any fool with a weapon can murder someone, so what difference does it make to rule the world or be the strongest in the universe if that’s all you know to do with your time?

What’s all of this have to do with Janemba? Remember, he’s been possessed with evil ki from a multitude of wicked souls. In other words, he’s got the distilled essence of the same thing that made all those other bad guys tick. Frieza, King Piccolo, whoever your favorite is, Janemba’s got the same urges times a billion. And this is what he’s become:

Just some goofy man-child-thing that only knows how to hit people and say his own name. He’s powerful, sure, but he doesn’t know what to do with all that power. I think it’s safe to assume he could do a lot more than we see in this movie, but this is as far as his imagination goes.

And that does resemble Majin Buu in a lot of ways. Let’s face it, Janemba is clearly a knockoff of Buu. I don’t think that’s a big shocker from a movie series that gave us such bold ideas as “Evil Goku” and “Frieza’s Brother” and “More Androids.”

But I do think Janemba has a bit more to offer than that, because unlike Buu, we get to witness his origin. Think about all the souls who went through that spirit cleansing machine. All of their evil desires were stripped away and concentrated into Janemba. What was their one common thought, the one sentiment that united them all? What was the one experience they all shared and would want to avenge? Here’s a hint:

I submit that Janemba represents the combined loathing of millions of souls towards King Yemma. But Yemma’s not their enemy; he’s just doing his job. The universe is designed to have Yemma pass judgement on the dead. That’s just the way it works. And once those damned souls pass through the cleanser, they can appreciate that with a newfound clarity. But the evil residue they left behind? That stuff is still sore about it.

And, to a point, I think that spiritual waste can find a kindred spirit in Tank Clerk, since he’s also kind of frustrated with the Way Things Are. He’d rather goof off and listen to his tunes, but he has to go to work and pay attention to his job. That’s no one’s fault, that’s just life. I don’t think Tank Clerk was ever angry about it, but the spirit waste comes from people who were, and when they got mixed together...

... You end up with a monster who’s made it his business to rebel against the natural order of the universe. He traps King Yemma, but doing so causes dominoes to fall all over creation. Maybe Janemba understands the consequences of this, or maybe he doesn’t, but he isn’t concerned with consequences. He’s just lashing out like a child who’s mad that he can’t have his own way. Well, your own way wrecks things for everyone else, Janemba, as we’ll soon see...

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #dbmovieliveblog #movie 12 #fusion reborn #the return of fusion!! goku and vegeta #goku #pikkon #janemba #king yemma #king kai #grand kai #south kai #east kai

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magicalmarauder · 5 years

Text

Panic

A/N: This is my first Shawn imagine, hope everyone enjoys it! :)

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4k+

Summary: Y/N is dating Shawn Mendes and is home alone in their shared apartment while he is on tour and her appendix bursts. Angst and fluff ensues!

You groaned in frustration, burying your head into the pillow as you curled further into a tight ball on yours and Shawns bed, trying your best to ignore the pain that was slowly gripping you. Today had been your second day with this nasty stomach virus that had been so fiercely plaguing you. It seemed as if the constant nausea, vomiting, chills, and stomach pain would not leave and all you wanted was your boyfriend with you to help take care of you. But instead, he was on the other side of the globe being the huge rockstar that he was. Not to get you wrong, you were incredibly proud of your amazing boyfriend, but it was times like these where you really wished that he had a career that didn’t take him so far away from you and so often. It seemed like every time you turned around, he was jetting off somewhere new.

Currently, he was in London preparing to play Wembley Stadium, which was a huge accomplishment and you were so, so proud of him, but again, you couldn’t help but wish that he was here with you to make you some soup and cuddle with you until you started feeling better.

But alas, wishing it to be so wouldn’t do anything. This was your reality and you had to face it.

Before you could continue down that rabbit hole of self-despair any further, your phone began vibrating and you groaned, blindly reaching over to the bedside table and pressing accept without even looking to see who was on the other end.

“Hello?” You moaned pathetically, voice hoarse.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Shawn’s sweet voice greeted you from the other end of the line. “Still not feeling well?”

You grunted in response, the pain feeling more unbearable than it had the last day or so. Maybe you should go to the doctor? This couldn’t be normal, could it? You should be getting better not worse, right?

“Are you taking anything for the pain?” Shawn questioned in concern, the background noise fading slightly as Shawn presumably moved to a less crowded area in order to hear you more clearly.

“Yeah, I took some pain medicine about an hour or two ago,” you explained pathetically, “but it hasn’t helped at all. I’m still nauseous and throwing up and my stomach still hurts too much for me to get comfortable or really get any sleep. I tried taking a sleeping pill last night, but it didn’t really help any.” Thinking back to the past two nights made your head pound in pain and frustration. You didn’t think you had gotten more than forty-five minutes of sleep at a time and even that had been fitful.

Tears slipped down your face as all the pain and frustration finally wore you down to the point of tears. “I wish you were here with me,” you whispered softly, knowing it was a fruitless thought, but needing to get it out in the air anyway. Although you knew Shawn was needed in London right now, you also couldn’t help how you felt. And if that made you selfish, you just couldn’t find the energy to care at the moment. You were sick and miserable and all you wanted was your cuddly boyfriend.

Shawn sighed, sounding slightly irritated. “You know I can’t be there right now, Y/N. I have to work.”

From just the tone of his voice at the moment, you could clearly picture him running his hand through his hair in frustration, the circumstances of the situation affecting him more than he would like to admit. Despite the fact that Shawn was incredibly hard-working and would do anything for his fans, in his heart even he couldn’t deny that at times it was too much and wish that he could be a normal boyfriend there for his girlfriend when she needed him.

“I know, Shawn. There’s just sometimes that I wish it could be different.”

Despite the fact that Shawn had literally just been thinking the exact same thing, he found himself becoming angry with his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, baby, but this is how it is,” he stated briskly. “We both knew what we were getting into when we started dating. This shouldn’t be a surprise.”

You recoiled, surprised to hear your boyfriend using such a harsh tone with you. If you were thinking rationally, you would probably have more patience in this moment, understanding that he was just as frustrated as you were with the fact that he couldn’t be there for you at the moment. However, you were sleep-deprived, sick, and annoyed with how he had just spoken to you. So, instead of responding in patience and understanding as you should have done, you allowed all of those negative emotions to flow over you.

“Well,” you started tiredly. “Considering that I’m exhausted and feel like death, I’m going to go now. You obviously don’t even care enough. So, I’ll just talk to you later. Goodby-.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Shawn interrupted immediately, trying to catch you before you hung up the phone on him. “I’m sorry, baby. I know I shouldn’t have said that, I just wish that I could be there with you. It’s hard being so far away from you normally, but especially when you’re not feeling good and you need me there to take care of you. I just feel like the world’s worst boyfriend.” He sighed out, hoping that his honesty would earn him some points back into your good graces.

“I know, Shawn,” you sighed. “I’m sorry too. I’m just frustrated and wish you were here with me, but I understand that you’re needed there now. I think I am going to go though, I really do want to try and get some more rest.”

“Okay, sleep well, Y/N,” Shawn murmured, still not feeling right about the bizarre little argument that the two of you had somehow found yourselves in. “I hope you start feeling better soon. Please call me if anything happens.”

“I will,” you promised softly, your head still throbbing from the conversation. “Have a good show tonight.”

“Thanks, gorgeous. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, bye.”

You placed the phone back onto the bedside table, snuggling further under the covers and hoping that sleep would claim you quickly in order to offer a bit of a reprieve from the constant pain you had been in for the past few days.

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You were awakened by a sharp, stabbing pain in your right side that instantly had you gasping and clutching your abdomen. Okay, you thought to yourself, this is definitely not normal. Tears slipped down your face as you wondered what you should do. You were all alone at the apartment. Your parents lived over an hour away, too far for them to come pick you up and drive you to the hospital in time. You didn’t understand what was going on with you, but you knew it was something serious that needed to be dealt with as quickly as possible.

As you pondered what to do, you remembered a conversation that you had had with Shawn’s mom not too long ago when you were discussing her son and his insane traveling schedule. If you ever need anything while Shawn’s away, don’t hesitate to give me a call, okay sweetie?

At the time, you hadn’t planned on calling with anything. You were a big girl and you could take care of yourself after all. However, this was a situation that was definitely out of your hands. Therefore, as quickly as you could you grabbed your phone, searching for the name, and dialing.

“Hello?” A voice answered on the other end of the line and you almost sobbed in relief.

“Karen?” You questioned, tears falling down your face in pain and fear. “Can I ask for a favor?”

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Shawn walked off stage after his big show with a large grin plastered across his face and sweat dripping from his brow. Wow, he thought to himself. I cannot believe I just did that! Selling out and playing Wembley Stadium had always been a dream of his, one that he could not believe had actually come true. The only thing that would make this better would be if his girlfriend could be here to share this moment with him.

He sighed, thoughts wandering to the conversation he had had with her before the show had started. He hadn’t meant to lose his temper and snap at her like he did, but he had just been so frustrated and by so many things. Yes, he loved his job and he relished these opportunities to travel and share his music with his fans, but it was so hard sometimes. And then he felt guilty for feeling that way. Like he was ungrateful or something. His fans were the reason he was able to live out his dream, travel the world, write music, meet so many other incredible artists, and so on and so on. If being away from loved ones was his price to pay, it wasn’t that immense in the grand scheme of everything. However, there were times, times like today, where that was hard to believe and if he was being truly honest with himself, where he would trade anything in the world in order to be by your side, including sacrificing his music career.

He walked further backstage, already feeling that post-show adrenaline high beginning to fade. Performing in front of thousands of people was truly a feeling like no other, one that he couldn’t even begin to put into words, even years later and well into his music career.

Walking into his dressing room, he grabbed his phone that he had left sitting haphazardly on the couch and opened it up, noticing he had three missed calls from his mom. He furrowed his brows in confusion. That was odd, he thought to himself. His mom knew that he had a performance tonight. What if something’s wrong?His mind immediately going into a panicked state, worrying that something was wrong with his dad or with Aaliyah.

Before he could click on her contact name in order to call her back and figure out what on earth was going on, Andrew came speeding into his dressing room, a frantic expression glued to his face as his eyes landed on Shawn sitting there, confused and worried.

“Andrew?” He questioned, further descending into a state of panic, already figuring that whatever had Andrew on edge was the same thing that had caused his mom to call him multiple times despite the fact that she knew he was in the middle of a show. “What happened?” He asked, already fearing the answer.

“It’s Y/N,” Andrew choked out, eyes wide and fearful, dreading the task of delivering this news to Shawn.

Shawn felt his heart stop as he heard those two words before it kicked into overdrive, practically beating out of his chest. He tried to take a deep breath, calming himself. Okay, Shawn, just calm down, I’m sure she’s fine! I mean, she’s been at home sick all day. What possibly could have happened to her in the safety of your own home?

Thoughts and possibilities immediately rushed into his mind, his thoughts rushing to all sorts of horrible and somewhat ridiculous alternatives.

“Shawn!” Andrew yelled, pulling him out of his downward spiral. “Did you hear what I said?”

Shawn, unable to form coherent words at the moment, simply shook his head in response, anxiously awaiting his manager’s next words.

“Y/N started experiencing intense stomach pain not too long after your show started,” he began, trying to relay the information as smoothly and calmly as possible so as not to distress Shawn any more than necessary. “She called your mom, who took her to the hospital, but while they were on their way there, Y/N lost consciousness. It turns out she hadn’t had the stomach flu these past few days, but appendicitis. Her appendix burst in the car on the drive to the hospital. She’s in the operating room now, they’re doing emergency surgery as we speak.”

If Shawn wouldn’t have already been sitting, he would have fallen to the floor as he heard this news. His world completely stopped. Not you, he thought in agony. He couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. He felt like he was in shock, slightly disbelieving that this was even happening to him right now. This had to be some horrible dream that he would wake up from any second now only to find you safe and secure by his side. However, deep down he knew this wasn’t a dream that he could easily awaken from, but real life. You were truly in the hospital at that very moment, unconscious and being cut into. His hands started to shake and tears started forming in his eyes as he thought about you, all alone in your apartment, realizing that you were so sick and in so much pain that you needed to go to the emergency room. And he hadn’t been there for you.That thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He was the worst boyfriend in the entire world. That same sentiment slammed into him, causing the tears to well and truly flow down his cheeks now in an unending torrent.

He jumped up, grabbing random things around him and stuffing them in the backpack that had been thrown carelessly on the floor only a few hours earlier. “I have to go,” he mumbled distractedly, mind running a million different directions, but his one focus being consistent: you. He had to get to you. He didn’t care how, all he knew was that he had to get to you. Now. “I have to see her, she has to be okay,” he cried, slowly crumbling before Andrew’s eyes. “I need to be there with her!” He shouted.

Andrew flinched slightly, eyes widened in sympathy. “I already took care of it, Shawn. I booked you the next flight back home. You leave in two hours and there’s a car waiting outside the stadium to take you to the airport. I’ve already talked to the manager’s here about postponing your show tomorrow. Y/N’s more important right now.”

Shawn breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that Andrew was understanding. He didn’t have the energy at the moment to throw a big fit about the necessity of leaving if Andrew had insisted he needed to stay for the show. “Thank you, man, I owe you one,” he stated, already making his way towards the door and dialing his mom’s number to alert her that he was on his way.

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The sound of steady beeping pierced through your consciousness, slowly bringing you back into awareness of the world around you. Blinking against the harsh light that welcomed you once you finally opened your eyes, you looked around, noticing that you were in a small hospital room.

Well, this can’t be good, you thought to yourself, not quite remembering how you had gotten here, what happened, or even what day it was.

Looking down, you noticed an IV poking out of your arm and you grimaced. You hated needles. At least you didn’t remember the actual moment of its insertion. That was a small relief.

As you continued to come to, you noticed that the pain in your abdomen had faded from that sharp, stabbing, unbearable pain to now a dull ache that was definitely more manageable than the former had been.

“You’re awake!” A relieved voice exclaimed from the doorway, causing you to turn your head at the noise only to be greeted by Karen, Shawn’s mom. She quickly set down the cup of coffee that was in her hand that she had presumably just returned from obtaining, before sitting down in the chair beside your bed and grabbing the hand that didn’t have the IV in place. “I have been so worried about you, sweetheart. You gave me a downright scare there, fainting on me like that!”

“I did?” You questioned. You didn’t remember that part. But then again, the last thing you could recall was waking up from your nap in unspeakable pain. So surely Shawn’s mom would be aware of the true nature of events. “What happened?” You asked hesitantly, wondering if you even wanted to know what had led to you waking up in the hospital. “Am I okay?”

“Yeah, sweetie, you’re going to be just fine. You gave us all quite a scare, though,” she soothed, smoothing your hair down comfortingly.

“What happened?” You questioned again, anxiety rising higher with each passing moment.

“Shh, shh, shh,” she reassured. “Everything’s just fine, I promise. You had a pretty nasty case of appendicitis though,” she explained softly, once again grabbing your hand in reassurance. “Your symptoms over the past few days weren’t signs of the stomach flu, although they could be easily mistaken, but it was really appendicitis.”

You winced, knowing that appendicitis was not something to take lightly. People have died in the past from that. Why, oh why hadn’t you just gone to the doctor earlier? You knew that something had been seriously wrong. “How did I get here, though?”

“You called me up yesterday afternoon. You were in an awful amount of pain and you asked if I could drive you to the emergency room, but when we were on the way over here, you lost consciousness,” she stated, wincing slightly at the memory. “Thankfully, we weren’t very far away at that point and we were able to get you inside quickly and then up to surgery to have your appendix removed and your abdomen cleaned out.”

Your breaths started coming quicker and more raggedly. You had undergone surgery?! The girl who was terrified of having an IV put in, had gone through major surgery? You didn’t know what to think, panicking at the fact that if you hadn’t called Shawn’s mom when you did, you would likely be dead in your apartment right now. No one would have been able to get you to the hospital in time if your appendix had truly been that close to rupturing. Oh, God.

Shawn! You couldn’t even imagine what would have happened if Shawn had found out that you had died in your apartment from a burst appendix. Speaking of Shawn, did he know where you were? What had happened? He must be so worried! “Shawn- “you choked out, barely able to get that one syllable out as you felt worry rising within you like a wave.

Karen seemed to have sensed where you were going with this however and quickly reassured you. “I called Shawn once they took you up for surgery. He was in the middle of his show, so he didn’t get the message until it finished. He’s on his way here now though. He hopped on the first available flight. He should be here any minute actually,” she revealed softly.

You let out a quick breath, feeling slightly at ease that Shawn wasn’t halfway across the world, unknowing of your current condition. He would be here soon. It would all be okay. Shawn was coming. You would be in his arms soon enough. A few tears trickled down your cheeks and Karen pulled you in for a swift hug, knowing you just needed to be held at the moment and if her son couldn’t be here right now, she would be happy to fill in until he got here.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait too long. Not even five minutes later, they heard the door softly push open and a tired, fearful voice quietly stutter out your name in question. “Y/N?”

Your head shot up, immediately making eye contact with your beloved boyfriend, who looked absolutely horrible at the moment. His eyes were bloodshot, hair a mess from running his hands through them in worry, and a shirt that you recognized as being one of his tour shirts half-unbuttoned and slightly askew on his tall frame.

“Shawn,” you breathed out in relief, a new batch of tears already beginning to make their way down your cheeks.

Karen quickly stepped out of the way, a small smile gracing her lips as she beheld the love between her son and his girlfriend. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” she murmured, grabbing her purse and squeezing Shawn’s arm briefly before making her way out of the room.

Not even a second after the door had swung shut, Shawn had you in his arms, tears falling freely and unashamedly down his face. “You’re okay,” he sobbed, tightening his hold on you and burying his face into your hair, breathing in your scent. “You’re really okay. I was so scared something was going to go wrong and you weren’t going to make it,” he admitted, shuddering at the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind for the entire ten-hour flight that he had had to endure.

He pulled away slightly to press his lips fiercely against yours and you quickly returned the action, pouring all the love and reassurance that you could into that kiss. “I’m okay,” you whispered softly, once you both pulled away, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks.

He placed his hands over your own, smiling slightly at you despite the tears that were still falling down his face. You wiped them away gently, taking in each of his features, relieved to finally have him by your side.

“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here, baby,” he wept. “I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you. If my mom hadn’t been there. I – I…” he trailed off, words failing him as the tears fell harder. You gently pulled him into your arms, stroking his hair softly.

“Shhhh,” you murmured softly, doing your best to comfort him, knowing just how hard he was on himself. This was not going to be something that he forgot easily. “I’m okay, Shawn. I’m okay. We’re both here together and we’re safe and we’re okay. That’s what matters. Nothing else is important right now, alright?” You tried your best to convince him that this wasn’t his fault. It was some freak accident that none of you could have anticipated and he shouldn’t beat himself up about it. It was out of anyone’s hands, especially his own.

He nodded weakly, head still buried in your chest. His sniffles were slowly calming down however, which you took as a good sign.

He pulled away to bring you in for a sweet kiss. “I love you so much,” he murmured against your lips before peppering kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle in response. He was just the cuddliest, sweetest boy you had ever met and you were beyond grateful to have him here by you side.

“Wait!” You gasped, sitting up, causing Shawn to snap to attention, thinking that something was wrong. “What about your show tonight, Shawn?” You asked. “You had two more in London, right?”

Shawn gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at you softly. “Don’t worry about it, baby. Andrew took care of it. We’ll do make up shows sometime soon, but right now this is where I belong.”

You smiled up at him, wondering how you had ever gotten so lucky as to have this incredible man in your life. “I love you, Shawn,” you whispered, wanting him to know just how much it meant to you to have him here with you and for him being so willing to drop everything to be by your side in your hour of need.

He grinned in response. “I love you more, Y/N. I’m so glad that you’re okay. You’re my anchor in this crazy world. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Luckily, you’ll never have to find out. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Shawn,” you stated sweetly before bringing him in for another sweet kiss.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes oneshot #oneshot #fanfic #shawn mendes x reader #reader insert #fluff #angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #cute

631 notes · View notes

snez · 4 years

Text

a strange happening

i'm extremely doinked right now so i'm not going to be particularly eloquent but i just wanted to share with you this several-years-old community classic that you may not be aware of called a strange happening. it is like...... something people have been talking about for years.

a very short fic, tucked away in the Adult Board on the forum for over a decade and unearthed in about 2014 by yours truly.

notes: - this is a story about a sneezing vagina. it is nsfw. - i do not condone sexualizing people on their 18th birthday, but i feel like this is so far removed from anything that could ever arouse anyone or resemble reality that i think it's probably okay - it is very bad

A Strange Happening

It was finally Elexsis' 18th Birth Day and she was excited to

know now she could do what ever she wanted and injoy life a bit

more than usual. Today made her feel great cause she would find

out the families secret. As she got up that morning she took a

shower her long, blond, back length hair Clung to her body. Her

blue eyes shinning with excitement, and her fine crurves were

slowly covered in soapy lather and Elexsis soon later was

finished.

As she got dressed into her tight blue geans that hugged her

but and her tank top shirt, her lower half started to tingle.

Elexsis rubed down at her crotch and the tingle soon stopped

within a few seconds. With that she grabed her perfume and walk

out to the dinner table. Her mom greated her and set down a plat

of toast and eges.

"Happy Birth Day Elexsis." Her mother said with a smile as her

mother watched her put salt and pepper on her eges. Her mom got a

worried look on her face and then relaxed to see nothing

happening at all. "So you ready to find out the family secret?"

Elexsis nodded as she shoved her food down her throat, and saw

that she was already going to be late for school. When she finish

she packed her back pack and left with out a good bye or

anything.

Her father came into the kitchen with a yawn and her asked,

"So did you tell her yet?"

Elexsis mother looked down at the ground as she admited to not

telling her daughter a thing. Elexsis father hugged her and told

her not to worry maybe it wouldn't have effect till she got back

home. What Elexsis didn't know was that she like her parents were

alians and their 18th Birth Day is the start of their forever

problem on earth.

Elexsis got to school and as usual every guy drouled over her

walking bye. Her nice furm breast were about the only thing the

guys thought about when she walked by. she would hadly ever wear

a bra and that made them jiggle when she walked alot of times.

Her friend who not only was bi-sexual but had a huge crush on

her best friend called out to Elexsis in thried period. It was

there she was to find out what the secret she wanted to know was

to creep up on her.

"So Happy B-Day Elexsis." Diana said perky and cheerful. Diana

was 5' even and stood shorter than Elexsis who was at 5' 10". She

wore a high tone of musk perfume and it almost made Elexsis gag

for air. Diana's breast were orange sized and her brown hair hung

to her ears. She was okay but that perfume needed to die down.

"THank you" Elexsis said, smiling feeling a tingle in her

pussy. Then she heard it a sound all to familure. the sound of

person about to sneeze.

"Ahhh... aahhhh.." Elexsis looked around then her thighs

movedas the sneeze sounds got louder. "AAHHH...aaahhhh.." then it

released the sneeze. "AHCCHHHOOOO!!" Elexsis felt her pussy

release an amount of jucies from her pussy.

The teacher looked up and told Elexsis to go to the nurses

office. Elexsis did as she was told embarassed and red in the

face. The nurse let Elexsis go home cause she told them she was

getting sick from her mother having the flu.

"So it seems you found out?" Her mother said.

"Yeah what's with my pussy sneezing like that?" Elexsis said

angery at her mother and father for keeping it a secret. "I mean

do you have this problem?"

"Sure do." Her mother said, "If you want i can show you when

we get home."

"But why did my pussy sneeze?" Elexsis asked, not sure if she

could live like this.

"We're alians when we turn 18 our pussies get allergic to

things that would make a normal person sneeze. on our planet its

less of a problem but here it make you get horny as heck and you

ether sneeze till you come or have sex." Her mother smiled as her

daughter laughed. "I'm serious. Do you feel horny now?" This is

not a question for a mother to ask Elexsis felt it was wierd to

talk about.

"It tingles down there and I feel like I must do some thing to

get this building sensation away." Elexsis squented her eyes in

painfull need to cum.

"I know dear. Hold on and let us get home. We're almost

there." Her mother hated that her daughter would no longer live a

normal life.

when they got home Elexsis felt a strange tingle in her crotch

again. "Oh no, not again." the sounds started as Elexsis striped

out of her pants and under wear seeing her pussy lips open and

shut with every intake. "Ahhh... aaahhhh... aaahhhhh.."

"Aaahhhh.. aahhh.. AHCCCHHHHOOOOOO!!! CCHHOOOO!!! CCHHHOOO!!!"

Elexsis felt like she was going to cum now but she didn't.

"Bless you." Her mother said and saw the lust in her daughters

face.

"Thank you." Her pussy answered. "Im glad I can finally sneeze

and talk."

"Mother my p..pussy it talked?" Elexsis was scared stiff and

saw her mother smile.

"I know." Her mother said, "Watch" She stripped and said hello

to her crotch. "Hi"

Her pussy now talked, "Hello. How are you today?"

"Fine thank you. And you?" Her mother asked.

"I can't beleve you kept me from sneezing when you know i had

to. I love to sneeze. You know that."

"I know but Mr. Glad couldn't hear you sneeze." Her mother

said, "We would expose our selve"

"True but his Dog made me want to sneeze so badly and you must

have looked funny rubbing you crotch infront of him."

"You want to sneeze now?" Elexsis mother asked sweetly.

"Please I still feel that dog around hear." the pussy said as

Elexsis' mother picked up the pepper shaker.

"Pepper good for you?" Her mother asked.

"Sure." Her mother got some pepper in her hands and blew it

down at her pussy. "I..I think th..th.. that will do it...

aahhh.. aahhh.. SSSHHHHEEEWWWWW!!! SSHHHHEEEEWWW!!!

SSSHHEEEWWWW!"

"Bless you." Her mother said feeling aroused.

"Th.. th.. thank you AAAHHHSSSHHHEEEWWWW!! SSSHHHEEEWWW!!"

"Bless you again." Her mother said.

"Thank you." Her pussy said.

"Think you can sneeze five more?" Her mother needed it to be

over.

"AAHHH..AAHHHH... SSSHHHHEEEEWWW!! SSSHHHHEEWWW!!! SSHHEEWWW!!

AHSSHHEEEWW!!"

"AAHHH.. aaaahhh.." with each intake the erge got worse to cum

and her daughter watched to turned on to care. "Aaahhh.. aahhh..

AAAHHHSSSHHHHEEWWWW!!!" with that she cane in the chair she sat

in and cleaned her pussy off.

"GOD BLESS YOU." Elexsis mother said to her crotch and put

back on her pants. "That felt good."

"so I have to find out what my pussy is allergic to?" Elexsis

said scared and not knowing what was hapening.

"Excactly." Her mother answered as the door bell rang.

It was scot a football player that every girl wanted and he

was at her door. "I can't believe it." Elexsis got dressed and

answered the door. "Hi"

He had on a muscle shirt and his blue eyes turned her on so

much her nipples started to get hard. then it happened he had

flowers for her and walked in side the house.

"Hi. Are you okay i heard they sent you home." Scot said,

"These are for you." He handed her the flowers and then felt the

tickle in her crotch again. It was going to sneeze again and she

was already turned on to the point of no return.

"Thank you." Elexsis said. blushing.

"AAHhhh... aaahhh.. CCCHHHOOOO!!!" Scot saw her body fly up

with the force of the sneeze and then knowing it was coming from

her pussy.

"Was that your your pussy?" Scot asked studdering and some how

turned on from the sneeze.

"Yeah you know it was to." Elexsis answered and felt so turned

on it made her want him more. "You think you can message it for

me if it tries that again?"

"You bet lets go to your room." Scot grabbed her hand getting

hard as a rock from the sneeze. Sneezes always turned him on but

from a pussy it got him big time.

They entered her bed room and with out the flowers the sneezes

died down. Scot layed down on top of her as a cat entered the

room and Elexsis' pussy opened and shut with every intake.

"Aaahhh.. aaahhhh.. aahhh.." Scot rubbed up and down

Elexsis'pussy and the sneeze stopped.

"You think you could hold them in?" Scot said to Elexsis and

let go. "Try."

Elexsis knew she had nothing to do with this and saw the cat

getting closer, and taking steps toward her pussy as the sneeze

got stronger. "Aaahhh.. aahhh... aaahhhhh.." Then the cats tail

was rubed up against Elexsis' pussy.

The erge got stronger and Elexsis got the impulse to take Scot

and have him enter her before the sneeze took control. His hard

as rock penis entered her and held the sneeze down only a bit.

Then opening and shuting of the pussy got to him so much he felt

as if he would cum soon. the cat layed by them and its tail

swished around Scot's erecasion making him want to cum more and

the pussy want to sneeze.

"Aaahhh.. aahhh.. aahhh.."

"Dont sneeze." Scot said.

"aahhh.. aahhh.. AAAAHHHHHH.... CCCHHHOOOOOOO!!!" Elexsis came

with the sneeze and Scot fallowed at the same time both satisfide

and tired as Scot left and Elexsis mother entered.

"Was it good?" Elexsis smiled and nodded her head with a sigh

of relief and her mother smiled, "Don't let your father know

okay" With that her mother left the room to leave Elexsis to her

ecstasy.

#BAD FIC BAD FIC BAD FIC

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