#NOT IN A SEXY WAY i mean like the movie doesnt look like its gonna be as bad as i thought it would | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

surpriserose · 1 month

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i cant get over how fucking fascist the dark knight rises is which like...i knew going in it would be if only because its based on frank millers the dark knight comics (and also no mans land???) And frank miller is the biggest piece of shit in comics whos not alan moore or garth ennis but christ i think nolan managed to go even more mask off

Okay grain of salt im not the biggest comics guy i just read the good stuff sylvie sends me so im not as knowledgeable about comic stuff but i stay silly anyways im gonna go character by character thats easiest for me

So batmans barely here except to become disabled and then practically heal overnight so very cool point number one 😐 but half of the movie hes stuck in the scary pit prison (because the Lazarus pit is too silly for nolan) with all the arab guys who didnt get whitewashed and its so boring and it sucks and only white people made it out of the pit ever basically who gives a shit it sucks honestly the only reason im mentioning this is because i honestly forgot bane wasnt the main character about an hour in because like? He should be? and ill get to that

Joseph gordon levitt is there and his character has a name and i do just want to call him joseph gordon levitt instead but thats long as fuck and hes robin so im just gonna call him robin even though he sucks ass. the whole point of his character is to be the good cop to gordons bad cop but it doesnt really work because thats a shitty fucking thing you see in media all the time because they always just go for the its just some bad apples approach look at this good apple dont you love apples approach but honestly nolans deepthroating the boot so much its even worse here. and yeah dudes robin but hes like.... nolans oc as robin because thank god i dont want dick in this movie (which would bring the whitewashing count up to 4 characters) or god forbid jason todd but i think its really telling how even robin in this universe has to be a fucking cop instead of like any of the disadvantaged kids bruce actually takes in like yeah this robin is still an orphan but thats way less important to the narrative and to nolan than being a cop.

gordons also barely here and i dont give a shit about him i wish he died i mean i always wish he died because hes a cop he is THE cop in every batman piece of media (except when he was jack the ripper one time or something?) and why even the most benign batman media is copaganda because theyre fucking besties. really i just want to talk about one scene before I get to the bulk of this post bane. late in the fucking almost THREE HOUR LONG MOVIE theres a scene where gordon is rallying the cops and goes to some cops door and hes like "why did you let your wife answer the door dont you know whats going on out there?" as if women are being raped on the streets of gotham which we never even see a fucking hint of??? the actual main issues affecting gotham at the moment are food issues and even thats not a problem because aid is getting in slowly and thats actually how gordon gets MORE FUCKING COPS into the city its insane and im gonna come back to this again with bane but while we're talking about the misogny -

-lets talk about catwoman who just kind of exists doing the catwoman thing of oh im on batmans side but not really and im on banes side but not really and it sucks but lets start with the misogyny before i talk about catwomans spineless centrism. when catwoman is caught by joseph gordon levitt shes taken to prison and the cops specifically point out shes taken to a mens prison (?????) because of the new laws because shes such a risk that a maximum security womens prison cant hold her but a mens prison can because womens prisons are all knitting circles i guess. This is really just an excuse so she can be in the prison that bane stages a prison break on (based) and come back for the climax and also have a hashtag girlboss moment where she does a sexy flip attack against a man threatening to sexually assault her which is just so classy nolan. and i want to fucking point out that this is blackgate prison which in most batman media is ALREADY FUCKING COED this shit was so unnecessary and gross and i just...its still pissing me off obviously so lets get to catwomans shitty fucking robin hood shit and why robin hood narratives are rarely ever radical. yes stealing from the rich and giving to the poor is cool but here and in most narratives its really only cool because its..one person or a small group. A society wide redistribution of wealth? out of the question thats too scary just go back to helping one kid steal an apple lady and hating that bane is literally crashing wall street (based) and breaking into rich peoples homes and bringing them to sentencing trials for crimes against humanity (based). Catwoman will have no part of that thank you and will instead just kind of...hang out until batman gets back.

side note what the fuck is up with the timeline in this movie batman gets his back broken and taken to the pit which is located in....an "ancient part of the world" the batman wiki tells me which holy shit okay the racism continues forever. but batman is not in gotham and again his back is literally BROKEN until it gets healed because he....was hoisted into a standing position with a rope? and idk how long that takes whether its months or a day because the movie seems to suggest both???

okay lets talk about talia al ghul and ras al ghul really quick before i get to based bane. Ill start by saying they're really fucking whitewashed like probably the worst example ive ever seen? Talia (or miranda tate as she's called for most of the movie) is played by a white french actress and Ra's al ghul is played by white irish actor and racist liam neeson. Because the comics are also racist ras al ghul never is really given a clear country of origin besides vaguely arabic slash east asian partially because hes so old but also again the racism but hes certainly not white again...because of the racism. and neither is talia who is only slightly less vaguely chinese and arabic. nolan gives even less of a shit than most batman writers though which is a high bar. talia was so boring and poorly written i barely remember her but they gave her half hearted attempts at environmentalism (incremental and done by begging the rich for everything though of course) before saying oh its actually because she and bane want to blow gotham up with a bomb which...god its all so stupid i honestly forget the bomb shit exists because it makes no sense and seems to have a detonation timer of 24 hours which again is why i literally have no idea what the timeline is. this shit is so stupid and unnecessary except to be the secret reason banes populist revolution of gotham (based) is actually bad but its so fucking tacked on even beyond most reasons why communist characters in media eat a baby to show theyre actually bad and so is communism because communists love neutron bombs.

BANE TIME! I'll also start out by pointing out that bane is whitewashed since hes supposed to be from a fictional south american slash caribbean island prison which......man. He's just tom hardy here though. Lets keep talking about communists eating a baby so theyre bad now. I think this is a trope people associate more with the mcu which is fair the falcon and the winter soldier pulled some shit because of course it did but i think we should consider the dark knight rises as a prime example instead. Not the originator since anti communism didn't start with nolan although i wish i could blame him for that too. Banes list of crimes batman has to stop him for are killing cia agents (based), crashing the stock market which he didn't even kill anyone at (not as based as he could have been), stage a prison break as previously mentioned (based), revealing police corruption (based), forming a militia to govern gotham while theres a transition of power from the rich and the police to the people (based), killing a bunch of cops (based), exploding some of gotham including all but one of the bridges out of the city (really just a strategic decision since hes about to have the american military on his ass and needs to counter that), and blowing up the pittsburgh steelers (extremely based). hey why is this guy the villain again? hey why does gotham have a wall street now why is this such a big deal is it possibly because the occupy wall street protests happened before during and after production of the movie? no that certainly couldnt be the case theres no way nolan would hate peaceful protests and create a movie where god forbid they werent peaceful and cops were instead treated like they treat protestors so we feel bad for them instead of people who are literally sick and tired of their labor being exploited by capitalism for the benefit of the rich. like jesus christ this movie is so blatantly fascist explaining the plot should have anyone going hey wait a minute. and you may say im biased in favor of bane as a communist but jesus christ are you seeing the shit nolan is pulling im being even handed in comparison i mean the fucking climax is batman showing up to rally the cops against bane and the mostly citizens militia of gotham like jesus fucking christ. banes not even a fucking dictator hes literally just some guy in most of the scenes after gotham is taken back by the people hes not even the guy sentencing and killing the rich and the police thats scarecrow! hes just on the sides like everyone else. and while im on scarecrow (jonathan crane hes not called scarecrow in the movie but he is that judge guy) nolan treats it as unreasonable that these are not hearings to determine the guilt of the police and the rich they protect because the people have already determined that theyre guilty but they just fucking are by definition. you dont get rich under capitalism by working hard you get rich by exploiting hundreds of thousands or millions of people out of their labor and livelihoods these people are fucking guilty even if they havent killed anyone with their own hands. but because bane does kill people on screen we're supposed to think hes worse but he only kills rich people and cops and the pittsburgh steelers!!!! like holy shit i hate this fucking movie i hate christopher nolan

#rape mention #long post #needed to get this out idc if anyone finds this or not but feel free to send anon hate always #ask to tag

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leafiebeanie · 1 year

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for the rntn ask game!! 🔥❤️💣💭

hi!!! thanks for the ask bb! (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b

🔥- What first drew you to Rengoku Kyojuro/Tanjiro?

naturally, the man's beautiful and thick eyebrows xD jkjk

more answers under the cut! (its very long, you have been warned 🤭🤭)

i definitely fell heart ❤️ first for kyotan after finishing the mugen train arc, but hmmmmm, to pinpoint the exact moment it ✨ sparked ✨ and activated the fujo cells in my brain, it has to be the sleepy time on the train—i am not immune to the tenderness of the scene, pls gtg couldve had tan sleep against the window, or nod off to sleep without leaning against kyo, BUTTTTTT tan placed his head on kyo's shoulder, AND KYO DIDN'T STOP HIM!!! (ง ื▿ ื)ว

for all we know, tan couldve drifted off to sleep first on the rattling window, and then kyo placed his head on his shoulder so tan could sleep more comfortably! 😉😉 anyway

🎴 tanjiro has always been my favourite character, right from the start of the series—he's a very loveable character, dependable, and his "i am the eldest son!" attitude really endeared me 😭😭 similarly, kyo is also a very dependable and sexy big brother, so its needless to say that they captured my heart almost instantly

and obviously, like, the way the kamaboko trio first met kyo on the train, how it was zen and ino's first time seeing kyo, and they were asking tan how they would know they met the right person,,, and the way tan said he's seen kyo before and would definitely recognise him! (im not gonna lie, that little bit alone had the fujo braincells in my head starting to wake up 🤭🤭)

and then how they got to see kyo's strength and power as he slayed the first two demons on the train with ease, and then the look of admiration (love) on tan's face when kyo ran up to tan and told him he would take care of five carriages while zen and nezuko handled three,,,

yes i took so many screenshots when rewatching the movie

my boy's down bad for kyo 🥺🥺

alternatively..... this is what i want kyo to say heheheheh

and then how at the end of the movie, kyo gave it his all while fighting akaza,, how desperate tan was as he watched the fight from afar, hating how weak he was, how he flung his sword at akaza while akaza ran from the sun

and then finally, when kyo called tan to come over and referred to him by his name, especially hits hard when he calls zenitsu yellow hair and inosuke, boar boy,, and how he gave tan and nezuko his approval 😭😭😭

and then how tan could barely keep himself together, couldnt bring himself to accept the fact that kyo, a powerful and strong hashira, has lost to an upper moon, his anguished cries while he was carried away, please, spare me

i just really love how close kyo and tan got during the events of one night 😭😭😭

and i always find myself gravitating to ships that could have been, had you not left your time too early :')

plus an honorary mention from the short scene in the opening song, where kyo tries to get tan to eat more bentos, augh so cute!!! 😍😍

❤️ - what are your favorite kind of RenTan stories? (Canon, Rengoku lives, modern… etc)

mmm, i am a huge sucker for animal settings and stuff with deities, so konpon au, tiger x cat, owl kyo, literally all the ones with part animal stuff, i eat them all up!

aside from that, the rengoku lives tag is free therapy okay, lets be real xDDDDDDD i just love thinking about the future that couldve happened if kyo had survived

and i also think it would be interesting to see how they would live their lives after muzan has been taken down, we have kyo, whose entire life has been moulded and shaped for one purpose only and now that theyve finally achieved it, what happens?

definitely, there would be a training arc, maybe kyo and tan would have to rein in wandering thoughts about each other, or fics where kyotan gets into an argument bc tan doesnt want to become his tsuguko bc it means replacing kyo as hashira,

and even dumb shenanigans like giyuu being salty and jealous about kyo wanting tan to be his tsuguko, bc it! was! giyuu! who found tan first! kyo should go look for someone else to be his tsuguko! xD

like many others have said before me, i think it would be sweet to watch kyo learn how to live a simple life with tan, where each day is simply spent appreciating the idle things in life, the quiet days where nothing particularly Big! or Adrenaline Rushing! happens

💣 - share your most controversial RenTan take. Set your thoughts ablaze!!

controversial take hmmmmmmmm

lets see, i think kyo has the potential to be manipulative, whether he is conscious of it or not

it has to do with his trauma, where he is so! good! at compartmentalising his emotions, and how rigid he can sometimes be about "this is the way things has to be",

im talking about how ruka instilled "the strong must protect the weak" mentality in kyo, and given how he interacts with sen and the bento girl, it sort of reflects that "the weak should just sit back and be protected by the strong"

and i just think that if he's 100% set his mind on "the way a certain thing should be", he might end up manipulating the situation to be what he has envisioned in his mind

like if sen really pushes through headstrong that he is going to train hard and join the demon slater corps, kyo is going to reject and push sen's desires down, kind of the way shin is doing to kyo, but kyo might end up saying things that affect sen more than shin does kyo—maybe he'll tell sen about what ruka says, and it can be especially effective bc sen barely has any memories of ruka before she passed, how he should just let him! the older and more capable one! handle all the hard work, that sen is pitiful enough the way he already is, really hammering in the point that sen cannot possibly do anything,,, that kind of stuff

of course, that doesnt mean that kyo is incapable of changing his mind—proven when he first says nezuko should be killed bc she is a demon and 100% no longer human, but then changes his mind about nezuko once he sees her protecting the passengers in mugen train

gah—i just think that he can be manipulative if he (his heart) really wants to, and i say his heart because again, he might be doing it subconsciously, reflecting what he really wants deep down, and not what he thinks should happen from his skewed perspective as the strong one

💭 - In a world where the train ride lasted longer, what do Rengoku and Tanjiro dream of?

ooh!!! this one is a fun one!

enmu says he likes to give his victims the happiest dream they could ever dream of, then thrust them into the most painful dream once they've relaxed and put down their guards,,,

so lets see, for kyo right, since his dream starts of with a memory of him telling shin that he has finally become the flame hashira, and how shin belittles him and his efforts

then it goes on to show sen waiting outside shin's room, waiting for kyo to come out etc, yadda yadda

i think enmu would continue to build on that dream, so it will emphasize the peaceful, but short, days that kyo gets to spend with sen

then! he might end up dreaming about ruka, about the happy days he has shared with his family, before ruka's passing that broke shin so bad

maybe it'll show scenes where kyo gets back from a long mission and starts telling sen about how it went, and then goes on with him learning things that sen excitedly shares, stories that he's learned from reading,

sen getting his beloved aniki to try and taste test his latest recipes bc shin is too busy drowning himself in alcohol, kyo thoroughly enjoying and appreciating sen's efforts, eating burnt food whilst sen apologizes nonstop and trying to get kyo to stop eating the burnt stuff, saying he'll make another batch that isnt burnt

maybe there'll even be a part where sen helps to trim kyo's hair for the first time, carefully, and then sen accidentally cuts off a big chunk

now kyo lets him and just laughs it off, bc he wants to leave some happy memories with sen before his inevitable death happens, as with any rengoku before him, while fulfilling their duty

as for tan, enmu also lets him dream about his family, and we know that tan so desperately misses his family, how much he wants to sit there and bask in denial that his family had been killed in cold blood

so continuing from that, i think tan would be spending more time with his family, chopping wood and making charcoal as usual with takeo following him around happily, then descending the mountain to sell charcoal as per his usual routine with rokuta and hana tagging along

maybe the seasons would change, from winter to spring, where tan would occasionally take a break and go pick some flowers for kie, and to spend time basking in the morning sun with rokuta and hana

to summer, where he would bring his siblings down to the river and play with them in the water, and he would catch fish with them, teaching them how to spear the fishes

to autumn, where he would rake up the leaves to make a giant leaf pile and his siblings would jump into it, maybe he might even build a little canopy hut thing for them to play in with the fallen leaves and branches

with all the seasons that come and go, tan watches happily as his siblings all grow up, but bc enmu wants to give him a bad dream at the end, tan realises that he's the only one that isnt aging like the rest of his family

he starts to notice when he sees takeo and rokuta looming over him, having grown up already, takeo, getting into his rebellious phase, rokuta, no longer the crybaby he used to be

nezuko and hana, much older now, swooning over the new family that just moved into town, who also happens to have a handsome and single young man, who only vaguely reminds tan about muzan (bc it is him but in a different form, and tan cant smell him very well bc he's already so drawn into his dream, so settled in but just on edge enough to realise that something isnt quite right)

kie, her eyesight no longer what it used to be, grey hairs and shaky hands are her normal now, but still lovingly making their favourite senbei for her darling children

all growing older, except for tan, who continues to remain stuck, frozen in time

and there you have it! so sorry it took me so long to reply xDDDDD i had to get fresh screencaps from the movie hehe

#leafierambles #ask game #leafieanswers!#rentan #brainrotting hours strikes again

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wanderingpages · 6 months

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Alright chapter 2 🤪🤪🤪

Starting off with more hotgirl math. “When it’s my first year of college, it’s his third.” so thats like, 18/19 & 21/22? Anyways i love that hes an honorary frat boy like that slays, did not have to be hazed but clears everyone in the fraternity. Also, stop being a lil hater Jude 🤪😮‍💨

Not him calling Madoc Dad, hes a fucking menace for real and its getting me all warm (Could be covid too). Jude wanting to impress Asha is insane babygirl has mommy issues for real and it hurts!

Obsessed with you using Taryn to describe Jude, then literally never speaking of Taryn again. Begone thot❤️ also his jewelry… im so tingly inside. Like not a lot of people really go into detail about jewelry. This is so sexy of you, Peach 😩😩 “He has a pointer finger under my chin, I feel cold metal graze my skin where a lone ring rests today. I asked him at the wedding if they meant anything, but he laughed and told me he just liked how they looked. I like pretty things, little sister. And I like adorning myself with them, too.” - like sir…… i know that means you want Jude on your lap asap

Also the detail in general, Peach, its sooooo good, i am IN Judes head FOR REAL, this is a MOVIE to me. Pure taboo anon wya, we need to start a petition for that company to direct this like a netflix series lmao !!

“I hate, i hate, i hate” X 10 - but mostly i hate the way i dont hate you !!!!!!!!

“He catches my wrist before it falls to the side, his thumb running over the bright red knuckles, uncovered today, looking at them disapproving for a fleeting moment.” i like that Jude has this flaw and Cardan doesnt even mention it, just notes that its there, and its a part of her, and she probably needs therapy over it 💀🥰

“Maybe I should have asked during that car ride, or during that dance we shared, or maybe when we were outside right before the storm. Maybe that’s why he’d acted as he had that night, why he had said what he said about our parents.” – tEA!! When do we know what actually went down at the reception?

“Or just tell them your mine.”-- im gonna be sick and i know jude os puking her guts out fr

More hot girl math - “A whole year, and now he decides on small talk?” so this is a year after the wedding. Damn not them holding a candle for each other for 365 days !!

“In my head, the girl is Taryn, I tell myself” - yeah keep telling yourself that, babes. Love that her ignorance about this is literally canon lmao ❤️❤️❤️

Your hot girl math is mathing 💀

lol thought daddy issues was too overplayed had to switch it up rq

Thank you for all your compliments ☺️☺️☺️ like this was so sweet to see in my inbox 😭😭

Not pure taboo again 😭😭😭

Yes that’s the reference ❤️

Absolutely needs therapy

Actually I do have a chapter dedicated to what happened at the reception ngl so, soon maybe hahaha

My favorite thing about writing Jude is her ignorance about Cardan and his motives 🤭

#asks #also rip Taryn lmao #I really did only use her to describe Jude 😭😭

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shiggyscumrag · 3 years

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How the MHA boys react to their chubby s/o wearing their clothes<3

I also plan on making a demon slayer and haikyuu version so look out for that hoessss

Midoriya Izuku

Dude he would flip, but like in a positive way-

He would get so flustered and immediately start muttering on and on about how pretty you look and try to poorly hide his embarrassment

He would find it really cute, plus he wears slightly bigger sized shirts so it wouldnt fit to tight on you

And even if it did he would find it absolutely adorable

You wearing one of his shirts that literally say "shirt" and a pair of his sweats to go along with it and it would be one of his new favorite things

He would ask if he could take a picture to save as his new homescreen deadass

He just cant get over how adorbale you look so of course hes gonna get all flustered and lovey dovey

10/10 would cuddle you for the rest of the night and not let you leave. Sleepover timeeeee

"What are you wearing?" He said as he stumbled across you in one of his shirts and sweats. You were bored and uncomfy in your jeans and tshirt so you decided it was a good idea to steal some of your boyfriends clothes to get more comfortable. Of course he was a little smaller in size then you but it would still work.

"I got uncomfortable and I thought you wouldn't mind if I borrowed some clothes to change into. I can change if you want-"

"No no no, you're okay! I mean I like you in my clothes, and I'm glad they make you comfortable! I just didnt know what you were doing and I was a little confused at first but you look really cute so I really don't mind at all, I swear! I was just a little startled-" you were interrupted by Izuku's rambling. He always did this when he was nervous. All you could really do is chuckle, and have your cheeks blush slightly at the compliments while getting comfy on his bed.

Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou thought it was a dumb idea at first, like he just didnt get it

Though after your persistent meddling he gave in and gave you one of his shirts

After you put it on and showed him he got all flustered and very horny

He felt weirdly proud about it, it was like a way of marking you as his and he liked that

And omg when you stole and wore a pair of his boxers, he fucking malfunctioned. Heres how the scenario would go in my head-

"Welcome back Katsuki!" You said cheerfully from further inside his dorm.

"Ah, what are you doing here shitty woman! I'm tired and want to go to bed-" he stopped mid sentence when he saw you laying on his bed in his boxers and his classic skull tshirt. He didnt realize how horny he had been but now the bulge in his pants was very prominent and uncomfortably tight.

"See something you like katsu?" You teased. You knew he had been stressed from interning lately and I mean so have you, so why not kill two birds with one stone?

"Hell yeah I do." He said crossing the room fast and finding your lips. A heated makeout session started, you had sat up and placed your hands on his chest starting to undo his tie and unbutton his uniform shirt. He pulled away and smirked grabbing you by the chin making you look at him.

"You're such a naughty girl." He pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, hissing when the cool air hit his cock. "Now get to sucking slut." You smirked and went down to lick his slit, some pre hitting your taste buds making you mewl. You began to bob your head at a steady pace. He groaned as his head fell back, a hand falling behind your head guiding your movements.

"Such a good little slut for me. Got any panties under here?" He said snapping the elastic of his boxers, leaving a delicious sting on your hip. You hummed causing another groan to rip through his throat. He pulled you off his cock with a pop.

"Is that a yes or a no sweet cheeks?" He said dragging his thumb against your drool soaked lips

"No sir, I dont have any panties on." You say, eyes half lidded and full of lust.

"Good answer-" He started as he pinned you down on the bed and left a chaste kiss on your lips. "Cause I was gonna take em' off anyways."

Kirishima Eijiro

When you first ask if you could borrow a shirt and pants to wear to sleep in his dorm he gladly excepted

He found it to be quote on quote "the manliest thing ever"

He would feel bad that his clothes are tight on you so he buys a couple over sized ones and wears them to get them to smell like him and next time you come to trade out hoodies he gives you those in hopes it'll make you feel more comfy

He would def also steal your clothes

He would love to wear your hoodies around the dorm and flex about having them

He loves that you feel comfortable enough to wear his clothes and to also let him wear yours

It's a trust and comfort thing that he finds the most adorbale

It makes him feel so happy, you make him so happy<3

You heard a knock on your door. You got up from your bed and made your way to the door as whoever it was continued to knock. You opened it up to see a red head with sharp teeth grinning widely at you.

"Hey kiri!" You said wrapping your arms around his neck as you leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek. He wrapped one arm around your waist and chuckled at your kiss.

"I came by to swap hoodies again! Yours stopped smelling like you." He said with a pout on his lips.

"Ah its okay baby, I'll give you another one!" You said with a smile.

Todoroki Shouto

Shouto would be confused on why exactly you would want to wear his clothes when you have your own that are perfectly fine

But he would still find it oddly comforting and very cute

He didn't really know that was a thing that couples do, you know trading clothes

So you would steal his hoodies and you would give him yours to sleep in

Dude he would get so happy

He would put your hoodie on for the first time alone in his dorm after you dropped it off and gave him a kiss goodnight

So he puts it on and just feels so comfy and at home in a sense. He just feels so calm and at peace with the world

Plus when he realizes it smells like you he goes wild

Would sleep in it every night and every morning he would fold it neatly and place it on his pillow so that when he gets home after a long day of class and interning with his dad he can wear it straight out his shower and smell your scent and be able to go to sleep peacefully that night

He can only hope his hoodies make you feel the same way yours do to him

"I can have this?" He says holding out the hoodie of yours you just gave him to be able to wear, a stoic expression still painted on his face.

"Well yeah! I thought since you let me have yours that you could have mine!" You said with a smile. Shoto couldn't help the heat that started to flush his face. He never knew that this is what couples do. He just knew they cuddled, kissed, held hands, and went on dates. He didn't know you could exchange clothing as a form of affection, but when you asked to have one of his hoodies he did love the idea of you wearing them. Shoto liked it even more when he saw you around the dorm in them.

"Thank you y/n. I appreciate it greatly." He spoke.

"Of course roni!" You said leaning in and pecking his lips "Goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!" You said skipping towards the girls dorms.

"Goodnight. Sleep well." He said softly. You smiled and waved goodbye. Once you rounded the corner and he could no longer see you he entered his room now staring at the hoodie once again.

He pushed the hoodie over his head and put his arms through. He adjusted the material until he was comfortable. He looked in the mirror and stated to go red. He was wearing your hoodie. He started to get this euphoric feeling of relief. A sense of home is what he felt while wearing it. He tucked himself into bed and laid his head on his pillow when he got a sudden whiff of your scent. It smelled like you too. He felt even more comfy now. He went to sleep peacefully that night. It felt like he was going to sleep in your arms. It was amazing. He now wears it every night and when it doesnt smell like you anymore he asks for you to wear it to make it smell like you again. You have definitely created a monster-

Mezo Shoji

Shoji is a pretty big fella and because of his quirk his clothes are kinda unique

BUT his pants and boxers are normal and can fit you fairly well

I feel like he would also get over sized clothes to lounge in so he feels less restricted so that's a bonus for you

So now you steal his pants all the time when your too lazy to go to your dorm and change or if you haven't done laundry and your out of comfy clothes

Plus you steal his boxers to basically substitute them as spandex shorts

I feel like he wouldnt know that he would like seeing you in his clothes until he did and he would get really happy.

And he finds it incredibly sexy when you wear his boxers, like damn you finna get WRECK-

You have once again stolen one of Shojis pair of boxers to wear as spandex, cause their just so comfy! Your boyfriend was currently downstairs in the kitchen getting you guys snacks for your movie night in his dorm.

You had gotten one his boxers and hid your panties in your pants and folded them nicely over on the nightstand. He came in with his hands full of popcorn, candy, and drinks. Not the healthiest but for sure yummy!

"Here let me help bubs!" You say getting out from under the blanket and standing to help grab stuff from his hands. He stared down at your lower stomach, hips, and thighs seeing them covered in the print of one his boxers. He was used to you stealing his pants and boxers but their was something different this time. Something in him snapped. "You okay Shoji?" You asked placing your hands on his chest after already setting the drinks and candy down. Popcorn still in one hand he took the other and stroked your cheek.

"I'm okay love. I see you stole my boxers again." One of his arms finding its place to settle on your hip.

"Oh yeah I did. I didn't feel like running back all the way to my dorm just to change." You spoke "Is that okay?" You asked, a silent plead in your eyes for it to be okay with him.

"Yeah it's okay." He said bending down and nuzzling his cheek against yours. You hummed in contentment before speaking.

"I'll get the movie ready!" You said running over to his laptop on his desk across the room. Shoji saw your pants folded neatly on his night stand where he was gonna set the popcorn and drinks so they were easier to reach. He set down the popcorn on the bed and picked up your pants accidentally unfolding them and causing your panties to fall on the floor at his feet. A flush crossed Shojis face, a scorching heat firing through his body. This is the straw that broke the camel's back.

You couldn't figure out what movie you wanted to watch. You just scrolled and scrolled and scrolled through Netflix's recommended page finding absolutely nothing. Next thing you knew you felt Shojis hands wrap around you waist and his face right next to your ear.

"Shoji what are you-"

"No panties huh?" He interrupted.

That's all you needed to hear to know you were gonna have a long night filled with hours of unwatched watched movies and a bunch of screens saying "Are you still watching?"

Hanta Sero

He would praise the ever loving dog snot out of your bro

Dude he would praise you left and right, up and down, side to side which is basically the same thing as left to right but we wont talk about it

He absolutely loves it

He never knew he needed this until now and he is never going back

He loves how you look in his clothes so he would for sure start getting slightly oversized stuff so it will fit you more comfortably so you dont have an excuse not to wear his clothes

Even though he would be perfectly content if you only wore them in his dorm, he just wants you in his clothes now 24/7

He would also steal your clothes<3 and he would always say he likes how they smell like you AHHHHHHH

"Come on, do a little twirl for me!" Sero teased as he spun his finger around in a circle.

"Sero!" You said, you could feel your face growing hotter by the second. He loved when you got all hit and bothered by his praise so he always teases you.

"You just look so damn good~" he said as he snaked his arms around your waist. He leaned in making you eager and lean in as well. Just as your about to kiss he pulls away.

"Sero stop teasing!" You whisper shout, a bit of whine in your voice.

That's when he leaned down fully and gave you a kiss on your lips. You depended the kiss and started a full on make out session. His hands trailed down to your ass grabbing it firmly cause a gasp from you. He took that as a chance to slip his tongue in. After a couple minutes you both pulled away for air, slightly panting and a string of salvia connecting your lips.

"You look really cute in my clothes but I think they'd look cutest on the floor-"

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obsessive-ego · 3 years

Text

Late night chats

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Beej chats with you when he knows you're not listening

Fluff, pining

It was a long rough week, you were absolutely exhausted, you could barely stand, your knees wobbled as you finally arrived home, everyday this week has been hell between work using you to cover everyone and do everything, and personal family drama you had to attend too, you were glad to finally be home, safe, quiet, where nothing was expected of you, you could finally recharge.

Kicking your shoes off and tossing your bag and jacket aside to deal with later.

As you shamble to your bedroom, eager to swap your work clothes to something less constricting, you tap away on your phone, ordering dinner, you were too tired to cook anyway.

In your bedroom, you were quick to ditch your uniform in replacement for an over sized shirt and a pair of pajama pants.

Removing your bra felt like a weight has been lifted, as you slip on your pajamas you felt 100 pounds lighter, you flop down on your bed, barely clinging to being awake, as you were about to doze off, your phone blares to life with its loud ringtone, you groan in frustration, you force your body to get up and dig for your phone in your pants pocket, you miss the call by a second, before you could check who it was it buzzes again, you nearly drop the phone, startled, you fumble with the gadget, quickly answering the call, assuming it was your incompetent coworkers needing a question asked.

"What are you wearing?~"

You frown, knowing that voice anywhere

"Beetlejuice-"

"Oh baby, you will be wearing me by the time I'm done with you~" he moans

You scowl at this joke, too tired to really deal with his sense of humor, yes the ghoul could easily make you laugh with their lewd jokes, but honestly you were so tired nothing else really mattered.

"What-"

"So we gonna hook up? Or are you standing me up?"

"What?"

"Y/n what day is it?"

You're silent for longer then youd like to admit, beetlejuice starts before you could respond

"Friday, movie night, so, let's hear that magic b word sweetheart~" he chimes in a sing song tone.

As tired as you were, I guess a chill movie night would be fine, if you doze off during you could survive the teasing, wouldnt be the first time.

"Hello? Sugar? I'm not hearing my name come from that pretty little mouth of yours~"

You snap back, guess you zoned out longer then you thought, you utter a quick sorry, and shuffle to the living room.

"Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice"

Your apartment goes dark, you sigh, the ghoul had a thing for making an entrance

"HONEY IM HOME" the ghoul shouts, within seconds you are hoisted up from behind in a tight bear hug, Beetlejuice's head resting on you shoulder "babes I missed ya, you're such a mean little thing forgetting about our movie night, or were you just playing hard to get~" he purrs that last part.

Clearly embarrassed you try your best to squirm out of your predicament, the demon only cackles at your actions

"Keep wiggling like that sugar and your gonna give me a-"

The ghoul was interrupted by a knocking at your door, his eyes light up, before you could get a word in, you are dragged along to the front door

"Its showtime"

...

It was amazing how you were still able to order take out with all the nonsense beetlejuice did to the delivery guys, but it just goes to show that it's all about money, and let's be honest, nobody is gonna believe them, yeah sure, a zombie looking guy took the pizza and then turned into a pile of snakes.

...

Movie night was the same as always, Beej successfully snuggling up close with an arm around your shoulder, ever since the change of seasons he found you no longer took the lead on getting up close and personal, meaning he had to take initiative, not that he minded, since regardless of the temperature, you didnt mind him cuddling up, which was nice, you were so warm to the touch, he adored it.

Movie night was always a blast with the demon, yes you've seen this horror films 100 times, but watching them with Beej always made them more lively, his enthusiasm was so contagious. But as much fun as the evening together was you were officially out of energy, you tired in vain to keep awake, last movie night you dozed off midway through you delt with merciless teasing for a week, but all your effort was for not as you felt yourself slip into dreamland.

"Alright Doll what's up next in our-" the demon finally noticed you were out, he frowns, yeah it was cute, and sexy when you fell asleep on him, but it was really becoming kind of a pain on how hard you worked and how much it drained you, breathers are delicate, and besides he wanted to spend some real legit alone time with you.

The demon snaps his fingers and the two of you reappear in your bedroom, you being tucked into your bed, beej floats up beside you in a lounging position.

The ghoul stares at you, watching you naturally settle into a deep sleep, once a few moments have past and beetlejuice was sure you were out cold, he leans back placing his hands behind his head and let's out a deep sigh.

"Ya know doll, the other week I was in the netherworld for business, bumped into an old pal, buddy was going on and on about this demon he was banging, and boy, the look on his face when I told him I was banging a hot little breather, man, fucker was jealous, I mean we arent technically banging, yet." He whispered

This was a habit of Bj's chatting to you when you were asleep, he didnt need to sleep, so this was a nice way to pass the time.

"I showed him that photo of us lyds took, ya know the one, you were sitting on the couch playing with you phone and I had my head on your lap? Yeah, I keep it in my wallet, hell, it's the only thing in there" he snickers

You mumble something unintelligible, Beej hums in response

"Of course not sugar, I dont keep condoms in there, i prefer to go raw, demons cant get breathers pregnant anyways, wink wink"

The ghoul sighs reclining back and putting his hands behind his head

"Ya know, while I was down there, I had to file some paperwork with my Mom, the bitch she is, was going on and on about how I need to stop screwing around with breathers, she just doesnt get me, you know how it is"

You grumble in response

"Oh, yeah I know I told ya a sandworm ate her, shes back, it's a long story" he huffs with a scowl.

"Yeah she was saying how theres no point of me tricking another breather for a green card to live again, and I should leave you alone, fuck her, ya know, I dont need to trick ya for a green card, i know you're head over heels for me babes, and once you finally admit you love me and we fuck around for a bit, then I'll pop the question." He trails off looking in your direction, your were laying on your side facing the demon, as if you were awake listening to his every word, the demon sighs, staring at you sleeping form, god slash satan he had no idea what he did to deserve you, his sweet caring breather. He could always come back to you, you were all his, you just didnt know it yet, and that was fine, for now, soon he'll get you to confess your undying love.

"What would I do without our little chats" he sighs, his eyes fixated on you, a purple hue begins to creep into his hair, he sighs again

"The only time I can be honest with ya huh babes?"

You mumble in response

"Its not like I dont WANT to be honest with ya, its just, come on, you gonna believe me? A demon from hell falling head over heels for a sweet little breather? I can barely believe it" he stares at you, his hair now completely purple.

"You know I love ya right?" The confidence in his voice fading, the question sounding more desperate then anything, as if the ghoul needed you to know or hed die again.

"...beee" you sigh

Beetlejuice perks up at the sound of your voice "bee?" Were you dreaming of him? The ghoul could just melt at the thought

"...beetlejuice"

You were

The purple in the demon's hair began to mix with hints of pink, his little breather was dreaming of him, the ghoul leans into you, his face inches from yours, studying your face in hopes to crack the mystery of what kind of dream you were having

"...beetlejuice" Again you mumble his name in your sleep

"Do you dream about me often babes? Ya know I dream of you~" he chuckles

"Beetle-"

Before you could finish the b word the demon shakes you awake

"Fuck" you say with a start "beetlejuice what are you doing" you grumble less then thrilled to be woken like this

"You were about to say the b word 3 times babes, had to put a stop to it" he chuckles sheepishly "you were babbling my name away in your sleep, guess you missed me huh?" His nervousness turned into a more confident jab

"I was? I-" you babble

"If you REALLY miss me baby cakes I could slip into bed with ya? Keep ya company" he leans in inches from your face, a moment passes and beetlejuice can see the hesitation in your face, yes he's snuck into bed with you multiple times, but he always left before you noticed.

"I wont do anything creepy" he begs grasping your hand as if to reassure you

"....okay" you whisper

The ghoul's eyes light up at your response in a flash he sheds his suit, leaving only a pair of boxers and slides under the covers next to you, the ghoul is over come by the warmth beneath the covers, and quickly latches on to your even warmer body.

"Good night Bee" you sigh "I'll try not to say your name 3 times"

"Night sugar♡" he cuddles into your chest making you the bigger spoon, though you were the smaller out of the two of you.

As you drift back into a deep sleep beetlejuice begins talking to you again

"You really know how to spoil a guy huh sugar, I guess I can wait a little longer till you say the 3 little words, as long as ya keep treating me like this♡ good night y/n, I love you"

#musical beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader #rambling

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actualbird · 3 years

Note

Heeeeeey pal it's Ida!

So I was thinking about Darius and how he's the only one with facial hair... (its a crime we can't romance Detective Morgan) and I was wondering... if the boys grew facial hair, what styles would each of them choose?

Its hard to imagine them with facial hair but it makes me wonder, especially if you have any idea :)

HI IDAAA!!!! :DDD it took me a sec to realize ur the same ida from twitter and not another person coincidentally also named ida KJBKS

okay so ur ask is worded in a way that implies that i should be thinking along the lines that facial hair is something the nxx boys are all capable of achieving but kjbkJBJFG MY THOUGHTS R HINGED ON THE FACT THAT ONLY SOME OF EM CAN ACTUALLY LIKE, MAKE IT HAPPEN.

that being said, lemme dive right into this

can the nxx boys grow facial hair? if yes, what style?

wc: 1.2k

disclaimer: im not putting pics of the facial hair styles in this post bc i dont wanna deal with that kind of gender envy kjfbgf. the names of the styles are in 'apostrophes' in the subheaders for ur own googling

luke pearce: he cant. full stop. in terms of tactile feel, this is a very smooth man.

im being mean to luke here, im fully aware, but hes SO GOOD at SO MANY STUPID "MASCULINE" ACTIVITIES. he can shoot guns, he can do action movie driving, hes deffo the most physically ripped out of all the boys, AND MANY MORE OTHER THINGS THAT DRIVE ME NUTS (affectionately), like. this shouldnt be allowed. there should be a LIMIT to how many societally masculine things a person should be able to do and do well. so no facial hair for luke pearce. cry me a fucking river, luke, this is called FAIRNESS.

so yep, not a single facial hair. it's slightly excruciating for him because it does NOT help his "AWWW LOOK AT THIS BABY FACED BOY" vibe. mc is never gonna stop pinching his cheeks and he doesnt even have any protection against it...

(...still, he figures maybe this isnt too much of a problem. afterall, if he had facial hair, he wouldnt be able to feel gentle touches to his face directly. and luke pearce? this dude Has to nuzzle into somebodys palm for his continued wellbeing. maybe this is for the better)

marius von hagen: he can but he doesnt like it so he shaves religiously.

marius can grow facial hair no problem which is a surprise since his dad looks like how he looks like (austin von hagen has never had a single facial hair, thats an absolute dolphin of a man, so aerodynamic) but MARIUS DOESNT LIKE IT.

it's a personal preference but he doesnt like how it's rough and how it messes with his "i am sexy hot gorgeous fae-like creature of mischief and beauty" vibes. so when marius detects even the slightest of stubble, the beginnings of a whatever-o'clock shadow, hes shaving!! bye bye!!!!

he does appreciate that facial hair is nice on other people, just not on him. he's been to art school. im sure marius has not only seen stupidly hot facial hair-d individuals, he's made out with a solid chunk of them as well. marius has to admit, getting stubble burn is kinda great! still, it's not something he's gonna be the one to give

vyn richter: he can and once hes comfortable changing up his twink doctor aesthetic, he goes for the 'Anchor Beard'.

like marius, vyn can grow facial hair no problem and shaves regularly though it's not that he doesnt like it it's just that...hes Very Comfortable with his current look and it seems like such a risky chore to change that up? his current look is great and it fits him and other people like it and GASP the danger of changing his aesthetic into something people MIGHT NOT LIKE?? MIGHT NOT FIND COOL AND HANDSOME AND WONDERFUL???? vyn would rather dig his own fucking grave

he'd need some coaxing perhaps from a lover or lovers that "Vyn, It's Okay To Change Ur Look If You Want To, If You Look Like Crap, It's Fine, The World Isn't Going To End." once he gets that through his equal parts horrid and hilarious brain, he'll go through a bunch of styles before settling on the anchor beard and variations of it. it's fresh and modern which a nice contrast from his usual archaic aesthetic.

(when marius sees vyn tho hes like "HAHA YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MAGICIAN" and then the only thing you'll be able to hear after that is the screams of marius von hagen being hunted for sport, the sound getting further and further away)

artem wing: he can but he never lets it grow out and maybe thats alright maybe thats better for us because one time he did let it grow and then the entirety of stellis is suddenly SO MUCH MORE (DECENTLY) WHORISH IN HIS GENERAL VICINITY because the style he goes for is the Farmer’s Market Hot™ 'Short Full Beard'.

before i explain the latter terminology above, lemme first explain the first bit. artem can grow facial hair no problem but hes SUCH a stickler for formality and being prim and proper so actually having facial hair is something he never lets happen. he shaves regularly and IMPORTANT NOTE, hes shaving with a fucking STRAIGHT RAZOR (pictured below)

rationalization: artem is old fashioned in very specific (and personally endearing) areas, like he prefers to handwrite with fountain pens in a largely paperless era. thats hot! yknow whats another old fashioned thing thats hot? STRAIGHT RAZORS!!!! hes whipping this out on the reg, pressing the exquisitely sharpened edge against the skin of his throat, dragging it with precise movements. if any poor soul watches artem shave, i wish that poor soul strength to not fuck him ON THE SPOT.

but yeah he doesnt let his facial hair grow but maybe one time he did (uhhh i cant think of a reason bc beards take 2-4 months to grow and lol, artem wing not at the office for 2-4 months? what happened, did themis law firm get sucked into a wormhole? just think of Some Kind Of Reason u like as to why he doesnt shave for a while) and. HM. WELL.

okay time define Farmer’s Market Hot™, a term i came across 6 years ago from this post by tofixtheshadows. the post reads:

"Farmer’s Market Hot is a wholesome kind of hot. Rugged but approachable. It’s not the kind of hot where you immediately go, “Oh my god they’re so perfect, I want to take them home and photograph them/tear their clothes off.” That’s for later. This is the kind of hot for people who would visit the farmer’s market to buy some organic cheeses on their way to pick up their kids from their Creativity Through Music class. It’s the look that says “I’m here to support our local beekeepers.” You see them and it makes you want to settle down. You want to do your taxes with them, raise dogs together."

when artem wing lets his facial hair grow, his beard is so hot, it makes him SO HOT which is unfair because HES ALREADY HOT but now hes walking around stellis in his soft fuckin sweater and going to the grocery very intently studying the fresh produce and his beard along with the rest of his vibes just makes everything about him scream "i will cook you breakfast in bed and it will taste exquisite and i care about the local ecosystem and gently put trespassing insects into a cup to release outside and i am SO GODDAMN MARRY-ABLE" and bros, if everybody wanted him before, they, impossibly, want him even more now

stellis would not be able to fucking cope. when artem shaves the beard off, a sigh of relief rumbles throughout the entire city.

all in all: artem wing won this post. it wasnt even a competition, but he won it.

#tears of themis #luke pearce #marius von hagen #vyn richter #artem wing

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gilmores-glorious-blog · 3 years

Text

ayy it’s battle of the five armies liveblog time!! posted at 3:00 in the morning for that extra emotional spice:

- god the scene of tauriel and kili on the beach is So Soft. and kili speaking in khudzul and then being like “i think you know what it means ;)” is. Very Attractive wow i’m heterosexual for one (1) man.

- the “welcome my sisters-sons..... to the kingdom of erebor!!!” is.... pretty hot ngl

- THE ACORN SCENE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it’s so soft and good and the way thorin breaks out of the dragon sickness completely to give bilbo that soft smile and those heart eyes,,,, i’m gonna lose it,,,

- “never underestimate the power of dwarves” is so homoerotic and for what ??

- wow the mithril shirt scene is... wow. it deadass seems like a wedding.

- pausing my emotions to be horny: kili looks hot in armor.

- can’t believe there’s war bats in middle earth. like. why do they exist.

- god everything bilbo does in this movie is just to help thorin and i’m just.. he loves him so much 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

- man the scene where thorin finds out it was bilbo who stole the arkenstone and then nearly throws him off the rampart... i’m ...... </3

- WHEN THE ELVES LEAP OVER THE DWARVES SHIELDS TO ATTACK THE ORCS?? SO FUCKING COOL!!!

- i hate how sexy dragon sick thorin is,,

- GOD THE SCENE WHERE THORIN SNAPS OUT OF THE DRAGON SICKNESS DESTROYS ME... THE WAY ITS BILBO’S VOICE THAT SNAPS HIM OUT OF IT.... I’M GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT

- the thorin and kili forehead touch..... 🥺🥺🥺

- taking a moment to stop and appreciate this dialogue: “SHOOT IT!!!!” “WHERE???!!!” “IN IT’S JAMBAGS!” “IT DOESNT HAVE ANY JAMBAGS!!!!!!”

- watching alfrid die is so satisfying 😌 hate that capitalist bitch 😌😌

- bilbo and tauriel realizing that thorin and kili (and fili) are in danger makes me so sad

- ayyy i love hearing legolas’ full name !!

- damn, thranduil’s having a Moment

- have i mentioned enough lately that i FUCKING LOVE BILBO BAGGINS!!!!!!!!!

- hobbit!legolas really drinks his respect women juice. good for him.

- i love the scene where bifur loses his axe so much

- oh great! here’s where things start to go Really Fucking Badly!!

- first up: fili’s death!! i am!!! a wreck!!!!!!

- next up: kili’s death!! i am!!!! absolutely ruined!!!!!!! i can not handle this!!!!!!! the tear that runs downs his face before he dies..... the promise he made to his mom to survive...... i am. So Sad.

- i’m watching this w/ my friend who hasn’t seen it before and they’re just. losing their entire mind over how goddamn cool legolas is and honestly,, me too

- FUCK YEAHHHHH RADAGAST AND BEORN!!!!

- uhhhh so i was crying too hard to type out many thoughts about the last bit of the movie 😔✌️ but they’re basically: Pain, Suffering, Agony, Heartbreak, and the like.

- i didn’t remember that the entire company came to ravenhill to kneel over thorin’s body and.. wOW that fucked me up

- two other things that fucked me up: no one mourning over fili’s dead body- appreciate him, cowards >:(, and thorin never knowing that kili died (+ bilbo not learning of it until after the fact)

- anyways. great fucking movie. great fucking trilogy. i cried just as hard this time as i did the first. 10/10 would recommend.

#wow i’m an ✨emotional wreck✨#the hobbit #the battle of the five armies #botfa #bagginshield #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #fili #kili #long post #eli.posts

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numbaoneflaya · 2 years

Note

OOOOGGHHH!!! OMG!!..can I get 🌺,💐,☔, and 🌈!! For Jilly and Vincent!!! Hehe if ur still taking these!!! Thank you!! (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

OOOGHHHH THANK U belovedd yes u can!! My darling hideous couple :') under cut !

🌺 - Do they send cutesy or grossly sweet/romantic texts to each other?

-Jilly does, both because she means what she says and because she knows it makes vincent blush/squirm. Calls him her ‘Vincey Wincey’ or her cuddlebug, boogabear, pupperman, Studmuffin, etc. sends a bunch of kissy emojis and heart eyes and how she cant wait til hes home so she can give him “a kissaroo for her boo”. He just sends back “enough” “stop” “cut this shit out my coworkers gonna see it” until he has to put her on mute. He himself is only likely to send any emotional over sweet mushy texts if hes been drinking and she's not with him and he's feeling :(. Though those are often long rambling sad voicemails mixed in with him screaming at people to shut the fuck up hes talking to someone on the phone, and then getting back to drunk ranting abt how he misses her and how she needs to get her ass over to him ASAP.

💐 - Is one more protective than the other?

-Vince is definitely the more protective one, though it might be for good reason since Jilly does have a tendency of getting into bad situations, kidnapped, mugged, etc. The way she looks/acts in public like she trusts everyone makes her a target for weirdos (like him) and hes always scared another weirdo is gonna snatch her up when hes not looking. Jilly is protective of him though not in a physical way because like…. Idk, unless someone has a tank its unlikely someones gonna cause him any bodily harm. But she gets protective of him when ppl talk about him rudely or gossip about him bcs she knows his feelings are sensitive and that's her bugaboo :/

☔️ - How do they make up after a fight?

-Its pretty much always Vincent who starts the fight, and hes pretty much always the first to apologize too. Depending on the fight and the severity, he either just bangs on the door of whatever room she's locked herself in, saying “I'm sorry, okay? I was a dick! I know that! Let me in so we can talk, stop being a baby.” and then if she doesnt still let him in he has to make the joke “let me in or ill huff and ill puff, and ill break this fucking door down.” Which she always laughs at, and also always lets him in bcs she knows he will actually break down the fucking door. OR if he's feeling more guilty, he walks up behind her with his most sad puppy dog face with his ears and tail down and crouches down so his head is nuzzled in her stomach and starts apologizing and saying he doesn't deserve her. May start crying, but so will she.

🌈 - What were their first impressions of each other?

-Jillys first impression of him at route 66 was immediately both intimidated by him and VERY attracted to him. Had to stop herself from saying “hubabubba😳” outloud. He had also just stepped in to save her from Farz who was harassing her, so she was like OMG…😳 hes so heroic he saved me… disney movie when.. And then she thanks him and he hits her w the “😏im a fuckin animal, suck my cock, ill fuck you on this pool table rn” and shes :///////////// one hit killed by that interaction. But also shes still blushing and stammering bcs damn :/ its a lil sexy and also he smells like a predator which is scary and sexy… but she quickly makes her retreat bcs that dudes jacked up fr. And then of course he follows her and bashes her head in the wall and the rest is history <3

Vincents first impression of her is “yo why tf this bitch smell like animal :/” and then “wait is she wearing a fucking fannypack. Is she really dumb enough to come in this shithole alone at night. In a fucking fannypack. LMAO”. Thinks she's really cute but also dumb as hell and an easy victim. But then she's all polite and cute blushing and thanking him and hes like aww :) and then hits her with what I guess he thought was him shooting his shot. But mostly he was just having fun scaring her and making her uncomfortable because she smells like prey and hes into it. And then of course she leaves and hes like :3c teehee! *follows her out and decides to fuck her whole life up*

#ferret and pisswolf #btd #my darlings my babes #abuse cw #i guess? i mean implied #i mean there is headbashing inolved #thasnk uu <33 i love talking abtthem

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celebritytgcaptions · 3 years

Text

Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats? Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time" but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

#Not a Caption #Requests #Request

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teamjacobthot · 4 years

Text

twilight saga character tag!

thank you sm @softtwihoe for tagging me <3 i feel like im still new to the renaissance fandom on tumblr even tho i never stopped being a twihard so shit like this warms my heart <3

now my spicy twilight takes………………...

1. Character you find most relatable to you as a person?

the love of my life, without a doubt, 100% leah clearwater. mfs tried to make her feel bad for feeling her feelings but she was valid in all of them. also its canon that shes a scorpio but yall aint hear it from me

rosalie bc we have similar trauma (lmao :/) and like to disagree with people. i also love big dumb men

edward. as a fellow whiny musical pissbaby who cant let shit go, i get it

2. Character that didn’t have a POV in the books or certain unfinished manuscripts, but you wish did?

ok maybe this is super underground but sue!!! mf!!! clearwater!!! she had allllllll the tea on the pack and tbh i really wanted to see how she and her family were before and after harry’s death. that event was a really big deal (outside of just bella and edward) and set shit OFF in new moon

billy bc he also had hella tea and i bet he was super fucking conflicted during the ENTIRE saga bc he couldnt say shit to charlie!!! that shit sounds rough!!!!!

quil bc he was the last to phase and i just wanna know what he was going thru. he would’ve had hellaaaaa jokes too but smeyer doesnt care abt nonwhite characters so :/

charlie, assuming he supports the black lives matter movement

i guess overall i just wanna know how EVERYONE was doing in new moon bc that story ran DEEP. i want a midnight sun for new moon but for every character

nobody asked but new moon is the best in the saga and new moon stans have the best pussy

3. Character that’s underrated and deserves more recognition?

the entire wolf pack but wbk

riley but tbh i think its bc i just loved xavier samuel in the eclipse movie

the denali coven!!!! their story was incredible imo and while irina was a snitch, i understand why she snitched. she didnt deserve to die. the denalis deserve so much better and while garrett is cool to have around, that doesnt fill the void that irina left bc the volturi decided to be a bunch of haters. i want them to heal so bad.

tanya gets a bad rep for having a crush on edward but she deserves better too

i’d like to read abt the vacations that the denalis with the cullens too

oh and all thats just BESIDES the succubus legend that tanya and kate and irina started in canon!!!!!!!! like??????????????????? they fucked and killed human men??????????? thats the story i wanna READ bitch!!!! thats my jennifer’s body (2009) fantasy!!!!! smeyer is a coward tho

btw carmen and esme are girlfriends :)

4. Character you thought was unnecessary for the story?

ok besides the obvious, and nobody drag me for it, but bree tanner. I get she was there to show us how fucked up the volturi are and to sorta predict bella as a newborn but……...we already knew the volturi kill mfs just for fun. if the cullens werent gonna adopt her we really didnt need many details on her. and regarding the newborn thing, bree’s role as a newborn didnt really mean shit bc bella ended up being ~the perfect newborn~ anyway!!!! smeyer tried to sell us the short second life of bree tanner as if there arent other worthy characters of having a spinoff novella about like leah or seth or rosalie or emmett or charlie or resume from bella’s ovary. that being said………..

resume, for multiple reasons including:

resume literally shouldnt exist. vampires shouldnt be able to have working sperm and even then, edward shouldve pulled out. he could barely even tongue kiss bella so wtf made him think he could cum in her????? whyyy didnt he use his big vampire brain to consider that?????

resume seemed totally unwanted and unthought of??? bella and edward were so mf absorbed in each other like regular teen couples (with 1000x the intensity but still) that it didnt seem likely that theyd want a baby after fucking like three times anyway. miss bella “fuck them kids” swan also gave no indication of wanting children. ever. EYE would have simply aborted and went on to live my best vampire life :)

resumes existence defeats the purpose of imprinting bc theres no way she’d be able to conceive with jacob. at all. but we know smeyer doesnt think shit through

smeyer writing in resume ruined jacobs character even more esp coming off the shitshow that was eclipse. periodt

5. Top 5 female characters?

leah <3

rosalie

bella

sue

angela

6. Top 5 male characters?

jacob (pre-eclipse but that’s implied)

emmett

seth

quil/paul (i love them equally)

edward’s dumb ass <3 sometimes

7. Character interaction that didn’t happen but you wish it did?

rosalie and edward but only under the condition that he finally stops being a misogynistic pissbaby towards her and accepts her for the sexy legend that she is. i feel like they’d get along well but smeyer is anti-hottie and anti-talent so i guess we’ll never know :/

leah and someone who loves her and respects her and validates her feelings :)

JACOB AND HIS SISTERS. OR EVEN JUST RACHEL. she literallyyyyyyyyyy came home after YEARS in breaking dawn but he was too busy simping over bella to acknowledge her??? huh???

bella and a licensed therapist

edward and a licensed therapist

8. Character that deserves more development?

the whole entire wolf pack but wbk

more specifically, embry. whooooom is his father???

emmett. like we get it hes funny and hot but like……….spare depth maam? any spare depth????

9. Character who is your total opposite?

jasper bc he fought for people who look like me to be ENSLAVED and the fandom lets it slide for whatever reason :|

10. Character you warmed up to after experiencing the Renaissance?

edward, in some ways. i relate to him when im feeling extra self-loathing but then i get over it lmao. he’s still stupid tho

i used to think alice was annoying af (and i still kinda do tbh) but as a fashion hoe, i get it

charlie, sorta, even tho he’s a cop. i wasnt there for the original conversation on here but do yall think he supports black lives matter? idk tbh but we’ll never know bc smeyer probably doesnt know what police brutality is. anyways ive really enjoyed the discourse on his relationship with bella and how he doesnt trust edward

jacob <3 he’s always been my heart, my soul, my baby, my fuckin cinnamon apple, etc. but i love the posts that other fans/nonhaters have been making abt how warm and kind he was before smeyer fucked him over and how he deserves so much better. its like yes im glad youre seeing all the things that make me a team jacob thot :)

idk if yall have already been tagged but im tagging @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @leahclearvvater and @bellas-dumptruck-ass! also anyone can fill this out and say i tagged them <3

#this took 3 times to post bc tumblr stays on my neck but #ask things #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #hot takes

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paddala · 4 years

Text

so i saw tros again

i decided to take notes while i watched so here ya go

*spoilers ahead*

opening sequence is great, it really sets up the film, we don't know what's in store but they give us some ideas. not sure i loved seeing palpatine or even palps being alive, would have been cooler if he was some kind of poltergeist-y sith demon, also, kylo was on mustafar? we ain't gonna talk about that? ok

skipping to rey and leia, first, i hate the leia scenes, they seem creepy and overdone and not genuine, anyway, why didn't rose go with the trio to pasana? why don't we see more of rose? why am i screaming? aaaaand more creepy leia speaking vaguely to rey

now KOR and kylo fixing his helmet *eyeroll* and now the first order finding out about a SPY!!!!! how utterly stupid and it's literally a plot line from a fANFIC!!!! WHY

the trio on pasana, rey looking at the children longingly always kills me, bc she ends up alone without ben, when the only thing she wanted was a family, this is BAD LUV!!!! "i don't have one yet (a family), i'm just rey," that's what she should have said

rey and kylo first force bond, LOVE IT

lando i guess? i mean i get it but i don't at the same time, i love lando tho so i'm not complaining

i don't really hate anything about pasana, just wish rose was there with them, feels weird and wrong, that's my only complaint

WHAT WAS THE REASON OF FINN WANTING TO TELL REY SOMETHING BEFORE THEY "DIED" WHAT WAS THE REASON!!!!!!! THEY NEVER ACTUALLY TOUCH ON IT AGAIN

ok i love poe and finn bantering, but we didn't get one ounce of real finnpoe interaction

how does 3p0 have more lines than rose? it makes my brain hurt

why didn't we get more of KOR? like? what the fuck?

rey senses kylo, she said "everyone shut the fuck up im thinking"

chewie getting captured makes so sense to me but yeah

why didnt the trio just leave? why didn't rey just tell them that kylo was coming and that they needed to gtfo? when does this film start making sense? chewie wouldn't have been captured!!!!

rey trying to pull back the ship should have been like foreshadowing to us finding out that rey actually killed her parents, but no, she ends up being related to palpatine? make it make sense pls

i love zorii but i could care less about her and poe's romantic history

rey in kylos bedroom, LOVE THAT

JODIE COMER AS REYS MOM IS KINDA PERFECT BUT REYS PARENTS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE SHITTY SO IDK HOW TO FEEL

the way they made hux the spy......the way i hate it so much, hux should have been our other main bad guy, the way hux only wanted to be a spy to destroy kylo, FUCKING PETTY AND STUPIDDDD

rey sweetie i'm so sorry

this scene could have been so powerful if kylo said "rey we aren't so different, i know you killed your parents, the darkness is already in you, just take my hand" BITCH WTF I SHOULD HAVE WROTE THIS MOVIE BUT ANYWAY!!!!

"everybody thinks that they know me, no one does" or "i killed my parents, its been haunting me ever since" SHE HAS DARKNESS JUST LIKE BEN!!!!! THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A SERVE BUT JJ IS A FUCKING CLOWN AND COWARD

i loved jannah, would have love to see her with rose, but jj is a fucking idiot

finn not being able to let rey do things on her own is SUUUUPER annoying and why i kinda hate his character in this film, it's a year later, ITS CALLED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT LUV!!!!!

the dark!rey with sharp teeth sends me, what the fuck is dis hunny

"the dark side is in our nature" loved this, if only she wasn't a palpatine and actually killed her parents, THE FLAVOR

ok rey and kylo fighting, i get it, leia calling out to her son bc he's "going to kill her" when that's not what he wants, he's deflecting all her strikes, wtf? rey implailing kylo mAKES NO SENSE!? SHE DOESNT WANNA KILL HIM EITHER? WHY DID SHE DO THAT!? she should have accidentally grazed his arm, then forced healed, wtf is this movie, i ask again (ok i did some digging on this scene and someone said that rey is metaphorically killing kylo ren, which yes i love this, but it still erks me)

rey, i guess metaphorically, redeemed kylo, he's ben now, she gave him life force, he should have lived after he brought back rey, AGAIN WTF (i'm so stupid you guys know this lol)

han and ben......IT MAKES ME SAD BUT HAPPY!! i loved this scene so much, he really looks like ben solo here, he's so confused but he knows that kylo is over with, he's ben now, rey gave him the light he needed, WTFFFHSJDJSKDKJS.... "dad...." "i know" HI IM CRYIBG LSKSKSKSKKS

DOMHNALL GLEESON SWEETIE IM SO SORRY THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU DESERVED YOUR CHARACTER WAS FANTASTIC THEY DID YOU SO DIRTY #justiceforhux

rey chucking the legacy saber into a fire and luke catching it saying hey wtf you can't do that that's so fucked up as if he didn't toss that mf over his shoulder in tlj, oh man jj really said fuck rian johnson, also leias lightsaber should have been bens, IMO

luke's x-wing just magically coming out of fucking nowhere? didn't he scrap the ship while on ach-to? hm...RIIIIIIIIGHT

chewie dead? nope. c3po memory wiped? nope. ben solo dead? yeah fuck that guy

at this point i've lost interest, i'm waiting for the reylo kiss

p*lps calling rey her granddaughter, i'm literally gonna barfffff

BEEEEEEEEEEEEN MY BABY BOOOOOYYYYY OHHH IM SUFFERING

i love him i love him i love him omfg he's so powerful and sexy, literally came to save rey without a lightsaber i love this MAN

The Shrug™

A DYAD IN THE FORCE, THEIR LIFE FORCE BOND, HELLO!!!???? AND BEN STILL DIES AND REY ENDS UP ALONE!? I CANT

ben being thrown like that by p*lp, i've never hated a villain more in my life

idk like i kinda hate that all the jedi from the past came to rey, when ben was RIGHT. FUCKING. THERE.

oh my fucking god i hate disney "i am all the sith" "and i am all the jedi"…"i am inevitable" "and i am iron man" CAN YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE

finn sensing rey dying through the force, i want to die

ben.....crawling to rey....fuck it hurts to bad

he's been through hell hes so scared and sad i hate jj so much

the kiss......cinematic masterpiece, should have ended there, but here we are

again. REY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY, her lightsaber is cool tho

"im rey....rey skywalker" NOT YOU

YUP WORSE STAR WARS MOVIE EVER

#tros spoilers #the rise of skywalker spoilers #star wars spoilers #star wars #sw #tros #star wars: the rise of skywalker spoilers #sw spoilers #reylo #kylo ren #rey #ben solo #tp

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red-elric · 5 years

Note

The Sohma boys as boyfriends/husbands?

*cracks knuckles* okayyy this one is fun lets get down to it!

yuki sohma is! a fuck boy! yuki is the boy who sends machi/kakeru/whoever tf late night “you up?” texts, who lightens the mood by saying “noo dont do x youre so sexy aha,” who is always down to fuck. he and machi watch titanic together; yuki is crying halfway through the movie but hes also being a slutty slutty boy together with machi. he wants machi to draw him like a french girl. with kakeru its a little less obvious because yuki would Rather Die than be caught screwing around with kakeru, but hes still the type to shut him up with a kiss, to avoid serious conversations by doing sexy stuff lmao. that being said, he is still a very emotional boy, and rather open with his feelings; he tends to intellectualize emotions (abby would say its his libra moon) but overall he is very sweet. he believes the only way to respect women is through pleasure and tbh can you blame him??

ayame sohma is an absolute sweetheart omg, tbh discord and i hc that he and mine have the fewest fights of any of the couples; they just exude that “perfect communication, perfect for each other” energy yknow? anyway aya has plenty of flair to spare and he spends a lot of it complimenting mine and making her feel like the most perfect and beautiful princess in the world. they both wear the dress on their wedding day and its gorgeous; theyre beautiful and soulmates and aya is very sweet.

kureno sohma is head over heels in love w his girl uo (if youre gonna fight me over kurenuo dont plz :P)! he’s the type to always assume that uo is doing fine because “shes much more capable with most things than he is” which is true! uo will call him and be upset about something or other and he’ll ask her if shes okay; when she explains whats going on and how shes wondering if she can’t handle....... whatever it is (college uo college uo head canon that actually instead of them travelling together immediately kureno went on his own and uo went to college but they still stayed pen pals anyway shes worried about not doing well in classes) he says something incredibly sweet along the lines of “well, of course you can handle this! you’re capable of everything” and she can tell he really really means it and it doesnt solve the problem but it does make her feel better, and reminds her that she is loved

shigure sohma, once things settle after canon, finally has the chance to spoil the girl he loves, and he does; actually, i think it negatively impacts the rest of his relationships for a while. he becomes completely subservient to akito for a while because he’s found his “happy ending,” so it’s okay to give into those feelings of wanting to spoil her now, right? she’s the most important person in his life, after all. anyway, that mindset lasts for a bit until suddenly it breaks bc akki isnt suddenly perfect either, shes still naturally jealous and afraid that he will leave her, that he’ll cheat on her, so they have a fight at some point; they spend some time apart where shigure learns that it’s okay to love his family and himself, on top of akki, and that being in love isnt about doing everything for the other person; meanwhile akki gets some therapy about her anxiety and rage issues and settles down enough to trust shigure. from then on he’s still very loving and spoiling, but he spends more time teasing her than before, and spends time discussing pros and cons of various couple decisions that they have to make.

hatori sohma is super super cute and super super awkward oml. he spends the early days of his relationship with mayu trying to be cool and impress her because shes so cool (!); he buys aviator sunglasses bc he heard they make people look cool and mysterious and his lactose intolerant ass will go on ice cream dates with mayu which doesnt always.... end well lmaooo. hes very protective of her, perhaps a bit overbearing when she’s sick or injured especially, but it’s always very clear that his heart is full of love for his girl, that he loves her to bits.

hatsuharu sohma has big dick energy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) now that thats out of the way: if anyone on this list was gonna tease his girl its haru, oml. haru spends 99% of his day finding new and exciting ways to annoy rin cause he thinks shes cute when she’s annoyed (she is) and because hes very confident that they’ll be together forever p much no matter what (they will be). the other 1% of the day is being the sweetest guy in the world bc thats just haru, he tells rin that shes beautiful, that she’s the only girl for him, that its just facts that they would be together, and then the 1% is up and hes explaining that its bc “who else has this goth energy” and “anyway i like your tits” but! its still sweet, even though he’s annoying.

momiji sohma is a cutie! but he’s also a little shit sometimes. he’d rather be a little shit to the rest of the world, with kimi, than to her specifically though; the two of them are dramatic little shits who stage fake arguments, uncomfortable couple dynamics, overly slutty relationships, etc for the specific purpose of the Drama TM of it all. they also like to play up traditional “male and female, husband and wife” roles to the point of satire, because they think it’s funny to point out how ridiculous it is to be such stilted characters together; unfortunately, however, no one around them pays enough attention socially to figure any of it out :( but! it doesnt matter bc for the most part theyre just starting drama and making each other laugh, so its good :).

hiro sohma is v v v sweet and protective; when he gets a little older he joins the “respect women at all costs” gang with kyo, hatori, kureno, and ayame (vs the “respect women through sex” gang with yuki, shigure, haru, and momiji); he’s a bit of a shit about it bc its hiro but its very sweet! anybody comes and bothers kisa and he’s on their ass about how you can’t treat girls that way blah blah blah hiros v talkative lmao. anyway he’s cute moving on.

kyo sohma (bc i like making kyo stans wait til the end to get their man >:P) is completely obsessed with doin right by his girl. he loves tohru to bits (he’s never ever loved anyone else either, man is a tohrusexual through and through) and honestly its a little overbearing sometimes here too lmao. hc that during the v stressful time when theyre planning their wedding (and tohru is pregnant haha) kyo does his whole “let me do everything for you are you sure you should be doing that in your condition? get some rest i can do this for you also fuck anybody coming to bother her with anything yall are assholes” thing--which, normally tohru thinks is cute n sweet tbh (cause it kinda is) but when shes stressed out of her mind, hormonal, and annoyed w herself for not being able to do as much as she normally can? she gets a little snippy with him sometimes :) however its just a learning experience for them kyo eventually gets better at reading the mood and they live happily ever after forever

thanks again for the ask anon! i love doing stuff like this, anyone can feel free to send me asks whenever! special thanks to the discord for making some of these headcanons in my mind, especially @machi-kuragi, @thewinterose, and @yunsoh, and also MANYA who is not on tumblr but should be tumblr famous ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) anyway yeah all we do on discord is talk about furuba headcanons and make fun of each other so a lot of this came from collaborative efforts with them! love yall

#fruits basket #fruits basket spoilers #headcanons #asks #this was fuuuun

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halfgap · 5 years

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it’s 5 am and I’ve realized the single most important thing you need to know about any modern au character is whether or not they’ve read Twilight and, if so, what are their opinions on Twilight. Observe -

People who have definitely read Twilight

Jester Lavorre: ok this one is obvious of course she’s fucking read twilight and it wasn’t just a middle school phase it is a middle school/high school/college/LIFE phase ok so!!! shut uP!!! EDWARD AND BELLA SHARE A MUTUAL SOUL MATE BOND AND EARNED THEIR GOTDAMN HAPPINESS!! (she starts quoting wuthering heights as a preteen bc she’s so into bella being into it but then she tries reading it & is like ew heathcliff is Nasty so she quits)

Caleb Widogast: Yes. Obviously. Caleb reads everything. And remembers every detail. when he hears Jester calling it smut Caleb is like oh my god 👀 NO girl they take four whole books to fuck but then the focus is just on the baby??? he has to help. he hooks her up with Real Smut. but also he thinks jasper is kinda hot

Beauregard: yes bc she also reads everything but fuckin denies it bc shes not a NERD like CALEB. when she was younger she had that Specific Lesbian Experience of really feeling for Jacob, and reading new moon and being like omg please bella let ur best friend heal ur heart!!! as an adult beau is like ‘men are toxic but its whatever.’ shes mellowed out & if someone asks her if she ever read twilight shes just like “yea. did u know bella and rosalie and alice are all gay”

Nott: has read all 4 books but doesn’t really get why jester loves them so much but she’s just like eh whatever it was ok i guess??? she claims yeza bears an uncanny resemblance to both edward and jacob bc yeza is very handsome and loyal and has a sexy voice. this gets jester reALLY hyped up but when jes finally meets him, it’s. it’s yeza

People who maybe have read Twilight?? Like just the first book?

Yasha: she reads the first one bc someone recommends it to her like “haha yasha look it’s u.” yasha is pale & mysterious & strong & goth. yasha reads it but doesnt continue bc she does not Relate to any of the characters except maybe that weird shy human friend of Bella’s who is nervous abt trying on dresses for the School Dance.

Fjord: he is genuinely puzzled. “what??? why the fuck would i have ever read twilight?? why is this in any way an expected, normal experience” and then virtually everyone else in the room is like “uh yea bro ive read twilight. u havent????” he eventually gets some of the twilight Experience bc jester & beau deliberately read aloud from the first book in his presence whenever possible so he basically gets his own audiobook version that he cannot escape from. someone help him

People who have not read Twilight

Mollymauk Tealeaf: he’s like 2 years old and is too busy LIVING TWILIGHT to READ TWILIGHT this shit is SO FCKIN LONG? and sure the cast of the movie is hot but he can check their butts out on google without watching them doused in white makeup and weird green lighting. but molly does get jester to coach him to say shit like “its so compelling how jacob was in love with bella because he was gonna imprint on renesmee.” he has no idea what any of those words mean but it’s fun hearing beau screech “WHAT the FUCK did you just say????” from across the room

Caduceus Clay: was curious until he was informed that the apple on the cover has nothing to do with the book’s contents. there are zero apples within this book. he is upset. apples are deeply interesting. what do these books have against apples

#someone help me #critical role #mighty nein

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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hunty movie 1

sooo ruth and i watched the first hxh movie holla

me as soon as we’re done w/the yorknew arc: OH FUCKY ITS ANIME MOVIE TIME

i love anime movies. theyre so often Entertaining As Hell, and also Not Very Good. its a very fun intersection

overall this movie slots pretty easily into that category. it was a good time but nothing revolutionary. which is ok! and that makes sense bc its not canon apparently

this movie was basically the ‘killua and kurapika have Trauma(tm)’ movie lmao

we open w/killua having a trauma dream abt illumi, rehashing the stuff we saw in the hunter exam arc....we see this a few more times in the movie, and it really drives home how killua is still rlly scared of illumi and kinda just goes into a dissociative trauma state whenever illumi is around (even fake doll illumi or dream illumi, in this movie). poor kid :( :(

regrettably tho ruth and i agree that illumis outfit in this movie was pretty sexy

ok that whole beginning part where kurapikas eyes get stolen happens SO fast hvbfhdjshfsk its like ok guess thats the status quo for this movie!

jesus poor kurapika. they cant catch a fuckgin break huh

also that kid was totally the kid that was alluded to by kurapika at the end of the yorknew arc...so i guess that was included in the anime as a setup for this movie?

also apparently that stuff was based off of a short story thing the author did a while ago which is p cool

leorios terrible drawing skills is hvhbjsdfbsdfngsjkdf

also leorio is so tender w/kurapika hhhhhhh im gonna die. im gonna gay die

and gon and killua are just. tiny soulmate boyfriends ok

ah yes i see the obligatory movie original character who befriends the protag

it kinda cracks me up how hostile killua is to retz like vhbhskhdfbaj i get that its bc of Trauma and his fear of betrayal/betraying but it also reads as killua being a Jealous Gay which is kinda hilarious

ruth and i when hisoka shows up: [prolonged annoyed groaning and dismayed yelling]

hisoka literally just shows up to sow chaos and throw around information to stir shit up huh

of COURSE the villain is the former 4th spider thats like. easy choice lmao

it might just be the fansubs but i feel like there were strong implications that hisoka and 4th spider guy fucked bhjdfashfdjnakn

the most unbelievable thing abt this whole thing is that hisoka didnt kill that doll guy lmao

ohhh shit its uvo

OHHH SHIT NOBUNGA AND MACHI....its so bad but i really like the troupe members and when they show up im like !!!!!!!

machi is so cooooool

aughhhh its like....i feel bad for nobunga for having to face down uvo like this....and THEN when pakunoda shows up too :( and nobunga tells her doll ‘rest in peace now’ or something when he cuts her down....oof. but also like theyre evil murderers so im!?! conflicted?!?!

also the shadow beast guys that uvo killed showing up and then proceeding to do LITERALLY NOTHING was kinda hilarious

and damn so technically the troupe is on the same side as the main crew, what with all of them wanting to wreck omokages shit

also omokage looks like sephiroth lmaoooo

ill be honest i barely know what sephiroth looks like but ruth said this and i felt in my bones that its true

ok i gotta talk abt the kurapika backstory stuff bc OUUGHGHGHGHGH my fucking UWUS BITCH!!!!

seeing a bunch of kurta was sad....and seeing baby-er kurapika OUGH and also pairo is sooo cute and him and kurapikas friendship is so pure

kurapika is so different :( theyre like, so much more innocent and excitable....thats so damn sad bro wtf

pairo pulling some slick moves swapping that little potion thing - all while using his blindness as a cover - was so good...no wonder he and kurapika get along so well

also gotta say its even more brutal that one of the main reasons kurapika didnt get Big Murdered w/the rest of the kurta is bc pairo pulled this stunt - if he hadnt, kurapika wouldve failed the test and never would have left

also kurapika saying theyre gonna find someone who can help w/pairos eyes ;_; the similarities w/leorios backstory/motivation makes me die

and seriously im still caught up at how innocent and pure kp is oooof ough

tho still defs the kurapika we know....theyve seemingly always had a temper, what with the reaction to the dudes in the market

like, kurapika did NOT hold back...even after finding out that they were just part of the test! tho i do get it bc they insulted pairo...kurapika’s love for their friends/stalwart need to defend their friends is clearly a big thing

also the market people’s reaction to seeing kp’s red eyes is rlly interesting to me...are the kurta like, known to anybody? or are they more of a vaguely talked-about group that like, ‘probably exists’? or is it that people know abt them but not the red eyes thing? it seems like these people, if any, would know, bc this market is seemingly a day’s travel from where the kurta live....i want more kurta lore bro!!

i big love pairo helping kurapika cheat like that....such an interesting twist, and makes it obvious that theirs is a friendship of equals

anyways i loved that flashback stuff and it just drives home how absolutely fucked up and horribly sad kurapikas whole existence is, especially in this movie w/pairo’s doll being used against them

n e ways back to the non flashback stuff

i love that gon’s super nose returned for this movie omg

im just auhghghghgh gon and killua know each other so well uwu....

aaaand illumi (well, doll illumi) is back to fuck shit up for poor killua

ugh it still gets me how clearly terrified of illumi killua is...we dont really see him act like this any other time :( and the fact that doll-illumi was able to scare killua enough to get him to run away and leave gon behind (albeit briefly) was oof

gon jumping in front of killua and getting his eyes stolen instead....baby boyyyy oughhh

also can i just say thank fuck they didnt replace illumis eyes w/gons bc THAT wouldve been some serious nightmare fuel lmao

cant believe killua then ran away again and walked emo-ly on the train tracks

and THEN he saw a train coming and was like oh well :( guess ill die :/ JESUS KID

but gon w/his Big Sniff Powers comes to the rescue!!

it was so cute how gon told killua that killua didnt run and abandon him - they were working together to fight :’) gon understands killua so well

i love how the squad then squads up to fight omokage...with half of them being blind lmao

and in the half that isnt blind is leorio, who STILL doesnt know nen, and literally brings a knife to a nen fight

i totally saw the whole ‘retz is a doll and her older brother is omokage, and retz actually died a while ago’ thing coming lol but still, not bad

all omokage does is talk abt the beauty of his dolls or w/e like ENOUGH bro

kurapika fighting pairo and killua fighting illumi (AGAIN) was all so fucked up they shouldve switched opponents for less trauma oof

and poor leorio is literally no help vhhvdijfhjbashkj he just gets throw around this whole time

kurapikas fight against pairo was sad bc it was such a fucked up situation...kp did gr8 tho, i liked them saying that this isnt the real pairo, cause pairo would never say/do these things. still and extremely sucky situation to be in!

meanwhile its the gon and killua vs doll-illumi rematch...and this illumi is like, a version of illumi drawn from killuas mind/heart (or something idk, it was kinda glossed over which i understand), which means that hes extra scary and focused on telling killua how much hes just a mindless killing machine who cant have friends

but luckily we have gon here to help snap killua out of his trauma haze, which certaintly wasnt the case at the hunter exam - so it was kinda nice to see how things went w/gon around :’) they work so well together oughhhhh....and they love each other so much broo gay preteen love real

hisoka just fuckgin materializing in the house place to help sow more chaos....unbelievable

me: i bet hisoka wont want to fight doll chrollo bc its not The Same as real chrollo

ruth: no i think he will bc hes a whore

hisoka: [fights doll chrollo]

me: oh shit u right

kurapika: ok omogake its time for you to FUCKING DIE-

and then killua stops them and says that he’ll do it, be he doesnt want kurapika to kill anymore :( :( :( bro im sooo fucking sad. killua rlly b out here thinking that hes already too far gone to matter when it comes to murder, but he doesnt want his friends to end up like that, so he might as well take on that burden, because whats one more person’s death on his hands? (EVEN THO HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO KILL ANY MORE...but theres exceptions when it comes to saving your friend’s souls and whatnot) :( :( AUGHHH

but luckily retz comes THRU with some good ole fratricide

killua: [takes notes]

the fact that the phantom troupe just fuckgin shows up and is like oh hey its you guys. this casual enemy stuff kills me lmao i love it

then they just fuckgin LEAVE and theyre like welllll we cant rlly fight u bc of chrollo’s state so by i guess. its NOT On Sight but someday it will be! YOU TOO HISOKA DONT THINK WE FUCKIGN FORGOT ABOUT YOU.

dramatic house burning! and rip retz, saw that one comin tho

when they all went thru and said their life goals and then killua was like shit i dont have a cool definitive anime goal LMAOOOO

but THEN gon said his goals should be to stay by gon’s side UHMMM???? baby gays AUGHHHHH and killua is just like lovestruck AUGHHHH

Gays Win

then they all peace out to resume the next arc lmaoooo

and then we see flashes of other characters, like the blonde girl (who ruth and i totally thought retz was, seeing thumbnails from this movie....we were like w8 hasnt that girl not been introduced yet??? lmao)

we also see some dude w/long hair and a hat who ive never seen before but ruth went OHHH ITS SCYTHE GUY!!! so i guess hes gonna b important?? lol

and then we saw chrollo....still in the same place the squad left him vbhajfdjkahsbfkdjabhsukfdj CAN HE NOT GET DOWN FROM THERE W/OUT NEN OR AN AIRSHIP??? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY ARE YOU KIDDING ME

general thots:

so this was very much an Anime Movie, in that they cant like, advance to plot or develop the characters much, bc its a movie. and this one is non canon

it was enjoyable but i do feel like it was much more typical shounen then hxh usually is...like, i feel like this was made by the same people who make like, the naruto movies or w/e, and w/the same sort of approach/attitude

this isnt necessarily bad - i LIKE shounen for a reason - but it was a bit noticeable bc it wasnt quite as smart as hxh is usually, and it rehashed a lot of stuff weve already seen in this show itself

but still i think it did a good job w/what it had, and it had some good angst, and everyone was very gay which is good

the art style was SLIGHTLY wack but it wasnt as bad as i thought itd be

overall a fun time like most anime movies. didnt reinvent the wheel but i had a good time. im excited for the greed island arc, and im also disproportionately excited to watch the hxh musical bc that is a thing that exists and i MUST see it asap bc that sounds like the kind of hilarious wackiness that appeals to me specifically

so thats it...later!

#this is more of a recap than a liveblog lmao #anyways. good times #lj watches hxh #hxh

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elle-eedee · 4 years

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dcom daddies: ranked

whats up sluts i’m here to give you the content you did NOT know you needed: a foolproof algorithmic ranking of a mild selection of disney channel dads!

beast (descendants)

hotness scale: extremely tall (over a foot taller than me! this is Very Important to the scale) and he seems to be a mere thread’s width away from Unhinged at all times, which i love. i also think it’s very sexy of him to still have such a monstrous way about himself (what with the roaring and the growling) 20something years post-curse.... makes me wonder very vividly if such energies carry to the b*droom........ *clears throat* 10/10

quality of character scale: it eternally amuses me that beast seems to learn almost Nothing over the course of this trilogy. he’s literally pro-isle the ENTIRE time jsjdndjdjd..... not great considering it puts him directly at odds with his son (and, like, with social progress) but he Does seem to act the way he does with the kingdom’s safety in mind! plus when he’s not accidentally supporting magical fascism he’s super dorky. i love his goofy dance moves 7.5/10

total score: 17.5/20...... with this score alone you can tell this system isnt rigged bc if i had it my way he’d be winning

hades (descendants)

hotness scale: i hate his party city clown wig but i’m a total sucker for guys in makeup (EVEN THOUGH A DECENT SHADE OF LIPSTICK WOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIS ENSEMBLE TOGETHER. WHY DID THEY PROPOSE IT ON THE CHARACTER DESIGN WALL IF THEY WERENT GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH!!!) and i think the fact that hes Very Sleepy and doesnt own a dog makes him my dream guy 9.5/10

quality of character scale: he literally sings a song about how cool he thinks it is that he’s a shitty dad............ but he DOES come through when his kid needs him, so that’s nice i guess. i would have liked to see more of him but i’ll settle for reading and writing intricate fan works that delve into a hypothetical personality for him that’s mainly conjecture 7.25/10

total score: 16.75/20 i wanna see him in some preppy auradon clothes

jafar (descendants)

hotness scale: i wish i had nicer things to say about this man. he just....... bears so little resemblance to the original jafar it makes me :( maybe if he was more gangly, or if he carried himself w the same potent gay energy that og jafar has? itd also help it he wasnt a racist caricature. 4.5/10

quality of character scale: again, very much a racist caricature. jafar doesnt steal!!! why would This be what he chose to do with himself! but he does seem to be, perhaps, the least bad of the core four’s parents, which counts for something i suppose. 3/10

total score: 7.5/20 sorry bud

dr facilier (descendants)

hotness scale: listen. it’s dr facilier. what am i supposed to do, NOT give him a perfect score on the sexy scale? 10/10

quality of character scale: he just loves his daughter and wants to make sure she’s getting what’s hers!!!!! his dynamic with celia makes me really happy they seem so fun! though i guess you could argue it sucks that he’d send his darling babey dohter to do errands for big mean scary hades considering that Everyone on the isle seems to quake at the sight of him. but im sure facilier only does that to ensure that celia can hold her own! 8/10

total score: 18/20 and it’d probably be higher if we’d seen more of him

mr smee (descendants)

hotness scale: not only does this man fuck, judging by the ages of his kids he fucked RECENTLY. get it baby live your truth 7/10

quality of character scale: he seems to be SO kind and sweet to his baby sons..... holding their little hands and such!!! and judging by how nervous the kids are i’d imagine it was primarily smee’s idea for them to go to auradon. extremely noble sacrifice for their benefit even though he’ll miss them 10/10!!!!!

total score: 17/20 i want to kiss his hand, if he’ll have me

zevon necrodopolous (zombies)

hotness scale: every time i look at this man i think of this post. he’s the perfect amount of frumpy for my tastes and his voice is so unique!!!!! i’d let his z-band malfunction so he could *** ** ***** * ******* **** 9/10

quality of character scale: really really cares about his kids and wants them to be safe!! he raises his voice once which im not a huge fan of but i suppose it was justified given the circumstances. also that shot of him goofing about with d*le in the end scene shows remarkable capacity for forgiveness after decades of trauma and discrimination! what a guy. 9/10

total score: 18/20 an absolute dilf!!!!!

dale (zombies)

hotness scale: looks like an uncrustable. 0/10

quality of character scale: a fucking cop. die bitch! 0/10

total score: 0/20 get in since you wanna act clown

coach jack bolton (high school musical)

hotness scale: honestly pretty young for my tastes. and i literally Always swipe left on athletes, so..... fine looking, but not for me. 5/10

quality of character scale: obviously he grows as the series progresses but i feel like jack is Always in the way of troy getting what he wants, which sucks. i like that he’s kinda goofy on his off hours with his family exactly as much as i Hate how much he yells when hes on the job. i do wish we lived in the timeline where he and miss darbus actually had that duet about their disagreements, though. 5/10

total score: 10/20 truly an Average dcom daddy

vance evans (high school musical)

hotness scale: due to personal reasons i will be having bad taste. however, this man’s fashion sense in IMPECCABLE. i mean, the colors??? the unbuttoned collar???? come on now. there is also the gratuitous use of the d-word to consider......................... anyways 7.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s hard to tell how much of his interest in furthering troy’s career is out of sincerity and how much of it is sharpay nudging him. but either way the result is a man who supports his daughter unconditionally! he could be nicer to ryan, though (plus he’s an evil capitalist) 6/10

total score: 13.5/20 i feel like he and fulton have had Relations

mr gifford (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: listen, i’m a simple guy. i see a basic-looking man pursuing age gap romance in the midst of a mid-life crisis, i support him unconditionally. also i am just Really vibing with that oversized denim shirt on him!!! there’s an egregious amount of arm hair poking out that just works. good for him! and this is a small moment but i’m very flustered over his natural Touchy Feely instinct after wen pokes out his eye... however: man has no eyebrows. 8.5/10

quality of character scale: i’m not a child of divorce so i don’t know how this stuff works, but i feel like he springs a lot of major decisions on wen? not ideal. on the other hand, we DO stan that he has sydney move in before they’re married. this is not a christian home!!!! 6/10

total score: 14.5/20 probably my favorite lemonade mouth dad, but mostly because he’s like the only one paid any attention by the narrative

mr banjaree (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: men really have beautifully sculpted noses and we just let them, huh. i’m definitely overusing the word Handsome in this list, but in this case? i’m justified. mr banjaree’s beard suits him SO well and his hair looks so soft...... and we love the implicit cleanliness of a man who wears socks in the house! 8/10

quality of character scale: i super SUPER dont agree with this man’s Smothering-Adjacent Methods (and also i know firsthand that strict parentage just drives kids to be more rebellious, lmao) but all things considered he really just wants the best for his family PLUS he’s willing to meet mo halfway at the end! :’) 6/10

total score: 14/20 the way i feel about him is the way i feel when i get crushes on pastors in that You Are Complicit In My Trauma But We’re Gonna Kiss About It way

mr delgado (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: OOOOH GLASSES! 5/10

quality of character scale: it’s sort of implied that the Wacko Energies of charlie’s family are mostly the fault of his mom so it’s cool of this man to distance himself from that. he is, of course, still complicit in Whatever The Hell Her Deal Is unless he is constantly fighting with her offscreen 6/10

total score: 11/20 would have loved to see more of him

mr yamada (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: another chapter in the saga of unbuttoned collars! doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to show off his strengths but i appreciate that he is not the thinnest dad in town 6.5/10

quality of character scale: WOW fuck this guy. very dismissive of stella’s aspirations!!!!! i don’t like that he feels the need to talk Over her to her mom when he’s asking about her vegetarianism. dude she is right there.... however it’s a lil touching when he holds her guitar up at the end, so... 4/10?

total score: 10.5/20 *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thi

bob duncan (good luck charlie: it’s christmas!)

hotness scale: in keeping this Specific to the feature-length xmas special, i will say that bob duncan is QUITE handsome! disappointed that he was wearing a shirt in the scene at the pool.... ill bet if this movie came out post-workout/makeover he’d have been shirtless >:/ i feel robbed... spare tummy, sir? spare tummy? additionally i love a man who rolls up his sleeves AND a man who stans kaiju movies!! also i love that he, quite literally, canonically fucks 8.5/10

quality of character scale: he’s about as charmingly incompetent as he is in the show, but the difference here is that he literally did not do a damn thing wrong! all he wanted to do was be civil with his inlaws and he frankly deserves MUCH better. its clear from his banter with the kids that he loves them very much (also i love how frequently he feels the need to jump/dive for things in this movie. silly slapstick icon) 8.75/10

total score: 17.25/20 this man’s mere presence oozes nostalgia

jerry russo (wizards of waverly place: the movie)

hotness scale: this man was MADE for me. the bottomless collection of hawaiian shirts....... the TWO tummy out scenes..........the fucked up evil thing his voice does when the kids try to steal the spellbook!!! he really has it all. also i love that he is truly just trying to have some beach intercourse 9/10

quality of character scale: i love that even when he doesn’t remember the kids he still maintains a little dadly rapport with them? the instincts...... it’s also incredibly good of him to relive his decision to give up his magic without hesitation once he realizes the severity of the situation :’0 10/10

total score: 19/20 i’ve never seen an episode of the show but im really about to start

neil morris (dadnapped)

hotness scale: handsome....... mr morris makes me feel simultaneously like a sapiosexual AND a morosexual because although he completed enough schooling to become a dentist, he also threw it away for a writing career like an absolute champ. also i find it unbelievably charming how Along For The Ride he is about the idea of being kidnapped. a man after my own heart 8.25/10

quality of character scale: this is a tricky one...... neil DOES show active concern for his daughter’s safety when push comes to shove, but he also has my least favorite type of redemption arc: “you THOUGHT i was neglecting you, but actually i was thinking about you the whole time and just never expressed it! we good?” so like. bleh. but he’s pretty mild mannered which i deeply appreciate in a man! 6.5/10

total score: 14.75/20 maybe talk to your daughter instead of writing a macgyver ripoff, dumbass

major joe mason (princess protection program)

hotness scale: prime dad bod, very believable for his line of work. also he has such a Gentle Way about himself when he’s around princesses....... i love all the hand holding when he’s escorting rosie. absolutely my type 8.75/10

quality of character scale: gosh.... where do i even BEGIN!!! his whole dynamic with carter is so ideal... i was apprehensive at first because his job would require him to be Absent a lot of the time, but upon reflection it’s clear that he’s raised carter well enough that he can totally trust her to be on her own, and also she’s only sad to see him go because she sincerely enjoys his company. everything about his profession is so noble and i love the way he can carry himself as casually or as politely as a given situation calls for. worst thing he does is say “i might have to stop calling you ‘pal’” because his daughter is wearing a pretty dress. i wish he was my dad but i’ll settle for him being my husband 9.75/10

total score: 18.5/20 i almost made a ppp self insert this morning specifically for Him

ted thompson (zapped)

hotness scale: athletes arent sexy!! this guy’s face screams The Only Websites I Know How To Use Are Facebook And Reddit and also he’s a dog person BUT he is sporting quite the tumbey if i do say so myself and for that i shall let him live. 4/10

quality of character scale: ok i know the whole point of this movie is Boys Bad but i hate men who are loud and i hate dads who get Weird about the inherent femininity of their daughters. when he calls zoey “sport” and then cringes like he’s made a mistake? dumb and unnecessary. HOWEVER all of his efforts to bond with zoey are really really sincere. like when he fixes her music box? that has NOTHING to do with the app he just Does It!!!! the movey mightve rubbed off on me a little too much but there are multiple ways to show love and just bc im not used to his way doesnt mean it has no worth! 6/10

total score: 10/20 mr thompson sir im sorry i doubted you at the start of the film

rob adams (radio rebel)

hotness scale: this man dresses 5-10 years younger than he looks and i respect that for him. but i was expecting him to be a bit more of a slimeball considering how tara talks about him in the opening scene... and you guys know how much i love slimeballs. regardless, pretty handsome! 6.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s nice that he goes to such a Public and Corporate effort to connect to his stepdaughter! even if it’s in a way that financially benefits him, it’s pretty clear that he cares about this family and wants to do right by them. nothing exceptional, though 7/10

total score: 13.5/20 i GUESS i’d be down to smash if he asked

ralph bartlett (read it and weep)

hotness scale: ok i was gonna say something mean about the fact that he’s balding but honestly he has really nice arms........ in addition he’s really quirky and optimistic which i am going to admire into my grave!! when he gets excited about having customers during the finale his voice quirks with an almost charlie day-esque charm. handsome. ALSO he calls jamie “princess” which is!!!!!!! something 7.5/10

quality of character scale: the way ralph parents his kids is Very 2000s in that he kinda babies his daughter but gets to pal around with his son, but i guess both dynamics come from a place of love and he could be doing much worse. plus he’s an honest hardworking small business owner! i support him 7/10

total score: 14.5/20 i would definitely go out for pizza with him

dr james hartley (how to build a better boy)

hotness scale: THIS. THIS IS WHAT DCOM DADDIES ARE ALL ABOUT. gosh..... this is truly the Most dad ive ever seen in my life. i love how his hair is always mussed..... how he’s so Desperate to relax that he falls asleep after Fifteen Seconds of smooth jazz..... and also. like. hes a scientist?? hello??? pretty sexy of him. i want to give this man the relaxation he deserves 10/10

quality of character scale: ok so,,,...,, kinda fucked up that he lied to his whole family (with the possible exception of his wife—sidenote, WHY did they make dr hartley married? his wife never comes up except when bart says she’s out of town. let him be single so i can slide into those dms) and EXTRA kinda fucked up that he works for the government? what a scab. BUT it’s very very clear that he cares about his kids (and gabby) and prioritizes their safety above all else! also, did you SEE how happy he was when mae won homecoming queen....... he loves her so so so much! :’0 8.5/10

total score: 18.5/20 i thirst tweeted about this man and roger bart replied ‘Aw, thanks!’ so i dont know where to go from here

#my worst post. look at it everybody #descendants #high school musical #disney channel #lemonade mouth #wizards of waverly place #good luck charlie #zombies #princess protection program #read it and weep #zapped #dadnapped #radio rebel #how to build a better boy #the term 'dcom daddy' was coined by poddin this together so nobody's allowed to get mad at me for it. also im right about each of these

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