Actually. Also. 19.

Choose violence ask game

19. Best canon example of good parenting in Star Wars

Ah yes. You know me well. Buckle up everyone

In no particular order because I don’t think there’s a winner here:

Shmi “He Deserves More Than A Slaves Life” Skywalker. Anakin was literally the only thing she had in the universe. She taught him to care for others and stand up for what’s right. And she loved him enough to let him go. If Anakin had been able to follow her example regarding love the Galaxy would have been a different place.

Owen “He Is My Own” Lars and Beru “We’re Enough” Whitesun Lars. I could write an essay on them. They knew the risk, they knew the danger, and they took him in. More than that: they loved him. They taught him to work hard and do what’s right. They, too, loved him enough to let him go. Prolonging the inevitable as long as they could, sure, but weren’t going to hold him back from the life he wanted and squash his spirit by keeping him safe on the farm forever either (one more season!) They protected him and gave their lives for him.

Bail and Breha “You Are An Organa In Every Way” Organa.

In this house we stan Bail and Breha Organa. Far more than Owen and Beru could even begin to fathom they understood what was at stake. Bail witnessed the attack on The Temple with his own eyes and knew exactly what would happen if Leia was found. But he and Breha had already been fighting for what is right - been fighting the Empire before it was even formed. They were committed. And they raised Leia to continue that fight even after she had lost everything herself. They are the true embodiment of family being far more than blood and ironically, raised a daughter who would carry on the legacy of Padme and (Clone Wars General/pre fall)Anakin: Leia spent her life dedicated to the service of others and democracy and fiercely defended what is right.

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

You mentioned emotional stability, which I get, but it made me think of the meme about ‘how do you not cry when people yell at you’ and I’m wondering both: whether there’s as much yelling in law as in tv, and whether you’ve ever cried while doing law

Nowhere near as much yelling as TV!

The only people I've ever had yell at me are non-attorneys who are representing themselves and who do not understand how this whole system works, and generally speaking...they're not in a position where their yelling is hurtful? Every time it's happened it's been more like a person throwing a tantrum, and I just...can't take that seriously. No one I actually work with (or opposing counsel) has ever managed to yell at me. I have cut off a couple people who were working themselves in that direction and redirected things back to being civil.

Frankly: I will not put up with that shit.

The list of people who are allowed to yell at you in a professional setting is very, very short, and the circumstances where that is appropriate are few and far between. It does happen in some workplaces but that's a question of office culture and individual shitty temper. My boss would never yell at me--it's unprofessional--and if he did he'd have my resignation on his desk by the end of the day. Opposing counsel is not entitled to yell at me; I am their professional peer and I don't have to put up with it outside the courtroom, and if it's inside a courtroom, the judge is likely to shut that down.

We're lawyers. In this profession, it's widely seen that losing your temper is a sign that you have lost your professional regulation and it discredits your argument. That's true in and out of the courtroom.

I have come near tears in court, but mostly because if I hit a certain point of rage I will tear up. Twice, I've had a judge hand down a ruling so wildly unjust and unexpected that it threw me off balance and into immediate fury, but I've always been able to keep it together and carry on without actually crying.

Mostly the practice of law is just not that personal. Even if someone is yelling, it's not at me as an individual. I don't make the laws, I don't decide the facts, I just take these things and lay them out. If someone's mad, it's not usually a personal attack. And you learn to deal with and understand that kind of anger--often frustration--as you go.

sirius was never actually disowned and i will die on that hill. walburga only burnt him off the tapestry bc she was a bit of a pyromaniac and liked burning things. regulus (supremacist, doesn’t want ppl to touch his property) would not have died so willingly if there was no fella left to easily carry on the last name. orion and walburga were 100% like “ugh. the child will come back eventually” and then he did

Thinking about Thaniel and Halsin reuniting again when he wakes.

Thinking about how Halsin describes Thaniel as having been ripped away from him (just as he was from Oliver). How he was the only one able to see and interact with him; how Halsin is very insistent that Thaniel made him who he became. How Halsin's "very first friend" being an encapsulation of nature itself affected the entire trajectory of his life. How that implies, to me, that Halsin and Thaniel were connected on a level far stronger and more significant than just being unlikely playmates as children - even moreso than just Halsin deciding to become his protector as he aged, or the implication of the relationship becoming more along the lines of a parent and child - to the point of being so interconnected and intertwined, Thaniel evidently uprooted and followed Halsin from the High Forest to its own unpredicted detriment.

Thaniel's being cursed and trapped quite literally *did* rip the two of them away from one another, just as tearing Thaniel's being in two twisted and created Oliver. Halsin feels a hole in his absence - a loneliness and disconnect that eats away at him. He describes losing contact with Thaniel all that time ago as being "worst of all", which is saying a lot considering what else was happening to and around Halsin at the time. And all Thaniel talked about whilst trapped was Halsin, insisting to find him because he was the only one who an entire force of nature itself believed could help it.

Losing Thaniel sent Halsin into a century long spiral; Halsin who blames himself for "dawdling" in his own pain as it suffered. Who could almost place himself in the catalyst of Ketheric Thorm's tragedy of losing his daughter pushing him to the edge. It's the elevated metaphorical adult fear of losing a child and the indescribable sorrow involved in that, mixed with the loss of an important childhood and formative influence, mixed with losing a friend, a piece of oneself, all in one.

I just imagine Halsin twitching in his skin to head immediately back to camp after convincing Oliver to return. Distractedly following behind, but evidently elsewhere, until he is dismissed or the group returns. And he is first to arrive and first to break off to his tent, pulling aside the cloth, lacking any considerable delicacy of action, to see Thaniel sitting up, blinking slowly at his surroundings. Alive; the smell of lavender heavy and sweet. Not dead and rotting, not twisted and empty. Small. Frail. Not quite whole. But alive.

And Halsin...hesitates on the threshold, hands shaking, everything having come to its head at last and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He holds his breath, fearful of any disturbance spooking the life away that they'd worked so hard to revive, until Thaniel turns its eye slowly towards him. Two deer caught in a crosspath of light. A century past and there are hundreds of things to do, hundreds of things he had planned to say to him if they succeeded, but all Halsin can manage is a strained: "It's me."

And he does not need to say who he is; Thaniel knows. All those rehearsed things fizzle away in its face. Halsin is older now, he reasons, much older; perhaps Thaniel will not recognize the century carved upon his brow just as Oliver had not. In a moment of desperation, he needs it to know him. Needs Thaniel to remember - but, fool that he is to underestimate the power of life before him, of course he remembers. Of course Thaniel would recognize him, just as he had recognized him after the long winter had passed - when he had changed so much, and was no longer a little elfling and never would be again. Just as Thaniel had recognized him every springtime after, the thawing of ice bringing another year with it, even as its face did not change at all. It must; his eyes betrayed the centuries beneath his boots, even as the child rubbed fitfully at them.

"It's me," Halsin murmurs again, falling to his knees - as if he could make himself impossibly smaller - bring him back to the beginning, turn back the years before it all went wrong. And Thaniel just nods its head and touches little hands to his face, and when he echos his name, it feels like that first thaw of spring again.

"I heard you calling," it whispers, gentle like summer breezes. "You cried for me to stop hiding. You were frightened and did not wish to play anymore. But when I came out, it had gotten dark. I could not find you."

"I know."

"I called back," he continues, even and intoned, but his lip wobbles. "You could not hear me.

"I know," Halsin repeats, brokenly.

Thaniel blinks a few more times, seemingly working out how to reteach a face long asleep, though there were no muscles to move. A false start later, a twitch of the nose, and he is...smiling. "But I kept trying - I knew you would find me."

A single stick too heavy and the dam breaks. Eyes filled with tears, he hugs Thaniel to him like he hadn't since they were children chasing each other through the underbrush with glitters of gold tangled in his hair. Since Thaniel had guided his hand to make the flowers in his father's garden grow. Since all they'd had was each other under the endless canopy of trees.

"Forgive me," Halsin whispers, a century of pain and loss and loneliness exiting from him in a single rush, the cold empty spaces inside him filling up with warmth. And at last he wakes, dragged violently into the open air after drowning for too long, blinded but alive and whole once again. Interconnected; not alone anymore. The earth sings beneath him and Oliver's spirit hovers just beyond the outskirts of his vision. Halsin chokes on his laugh. "I was never very good at this game."

I made a prompt some time ago and my brain couldn't let it go so I want to write an actual fic about it. But I need your help to do it.

You can find the prompt I'm talking about here. To summarize it quickly because I know it ended up kind of long. Dani was traveling around the USA and met/befriended some people, heroes and villains include. And then she left to see another place. It wouldn't be a problem if before she left, she said goodbye. She didn't so now they she got kidnapped and are panicing.

I have some ideas, some serious chaos I mentioned (about 2500 words and counting) or super serious chaos if things'll go properly, who knows, some Dani hangs out with Duke during his patrols and is low key his sidekick (5500 words and counting, everything on paper because why not?), both in much different places on a timeline, untouched but thought about idea for Dani and Conner clone budding AND one bit for when she met Flashfam and one when she asked Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy for autographs for Jazz and Sam.

But here is a thing. All I know about DC is from dpxdc tag and some fics on AO3. Also from dpxdc of course. So it means I don't know a jack shit about people outside of Batfam.

So, what I'm asking for is, if you have ideas who else Dani could mess with or/and links to fanfics with your favorite characterizations or character analysis here or on AO3, any way of communication you are comfortable with is open, please send it (maybe not in actual mail that would be both creepy and unreasonably expensive)

I can't exactly watch movies/cartoons because I fear my computer wouldn't survive that (I had a moment of black screen two times in the last twenty minutes and three more temporary freezes, how is this thing still running, and how it became my most reliable internet connection device?)

Anyway, send the links I beg you

Wait no continuing from my tags on my previous reblog, Veronica and her relationship with Scary I think explains a lot of why Scary has such a bad grasp on her emotions.

Like Veronica doesn’t seem like a very emotionally open person to begin with, in addition to the fact that she was a single mom lawyer who wouldn’t have the time to spend with Scary if she wanted to keep a roof over their heads.

Scary mostly grew up with a single parent who worked a job with very long hours. She probably didn’t get to have those emotional talks with her mom when something was bothering her, maybe bc if it wasn’t big enough than she couldn’t justify talking to her busy mom about it, or maybe Veronica just didn’t pick up on it. That’s just a natural part of being a single parent, you miss things, and sometimes those are important things, even if you try your best and you love your kid.

It could also in part play into Scary’s want for attention? Like that’s naturally a very teenage want, but like add on the fact that her mom is generally a very busy woman and her limited free time is suddenly being taken up by this loser cringe guy that she started dating instead of spending time with her cool daughter.

Like I think this is all SO interesting when contrasted with Taylor’s relationship with Cassandra. Cass is very very rich. In all honesty, she doesn’t really NEED to work. She can easily take time to spend with her kid, and I think it really shows in how close she and Taylor are.

Just, comparing the two teens and their relationship with their single parent moms in relation to their jobs and their class is just very interesting to me

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

Nah because one of my favorite tropes is main characters wishing their parents were dead.

But like in the way the reader learns this by the character hearing about someone they meet is an orphan and they are just like

"that would be nice"

Like it's always so comedic. They are so jealous despite the tragedy.

and what if i finally decided on a fc for anna / mrs. em.ily. what then. ( do you love her )

Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

The post that goes "maybe it seems pretentious to you because you only watch bluey," but this time including the inverse "maybe you only think bluey is 'deep and meaningful for a kids show' because it's the only kids show you watch."

the problem with being a lonely shut-in who wants to write about relationships is that it actually requires as much research as like, wanting to write about a guy who can have casual conversations about mechanical engineering.

and maybe that's just enough so you can SOUND like you know a bit about mechanical engineering. maybe it's not that much research at all. but it's still more research on relationships than i feel like a lot of other people doing the same thing have to do, which is none at all

i just need to vent tbh. my childhood best friend who i don't talk to often anymore just got married, bought a house, and got pregnant in the last few months and like. she wanted to get an abortion but her mom (my mom's best friend) talked her out of it. and i'm supposed to be happy about this?? no thanks. now my mom is on my ASS about giving her grandchildren (more than usual) despite the fact that i'm the most noncommittal and financially unstable person, and i should not be a mother even if i wanted to (which i really don't rn). she also conveniently forgot i'm a lesbian and when i reminded her, she said "well you could find a nice trans woman" which is so FUCKING RICH because when i was actually seeing a trans woman in college my mom had some colorful language to say about her!! it's like she feels entitled to my body and my potential future baby, she doesn't care if i can give that baby a good life, she just wants to be a fun grandma. but does she put any of this pressure on my brother?? hell no. i am EXHAUSTED.

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