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thephdpensieve · 2 years

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Confessions of a Chaotic PhD student✨

I am here to make a 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻:

to feel comfortable as my true self and also to let people know that they're not alone.

I have always tried to show here the struggles and confusions I'm facing as a PhD student. I talk about my failures, my struggles with perfectionism, and the ups and downs of my PhD. But I feared that, without realising, I've given a picture of myself as a very organized PhD student who has everything under control. So this post is to come clean.

💬 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗳𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲𝗱. 𝗠𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰. 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗹𝘆. 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆. 𝗜 𝗴𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸.

But the one thing I do is, I give myself time. I sit with myself to untangle the messy things: be it thoughts or schedules or cupboards. I pause and take time to untangle the chaos and bring some order. And 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, I am able to be organized.

I am also slow, in that respect. I take a lot of time to find the best way something works for me. I experiment so many apps, I seek and try so many tools/processes and change through so many plans before I find the one that works for now.

All these processes are messy, nonlinear - that's how they work. Only after I give myself the time to go through the messy am I able to feel the calm.

❓I was worried that if I share all these processes with you, wouldn't I be confusing you? What if I use one method this month and soon I find something better? So should I share only the things, I know for *sure*, that work?

💡But then I realized, this page is my *𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚* - where I store 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘗𝘩𝘋 for me and for you to see. I HAVE TO show the process, not just the end product.

I realized, you guys know that!

By sharing the process, I am sharing the reality. And only by sharing reality will I be able to form authentic connections ♥️

That's it. Just putting it out here.

So I hope to be more *real* and let's all be imperfect together in this weird journey of a lifetime!

#chaotic academia #dark academia #dark acadamia aesthetic #gradblr #gradschool aesthetic #chaotic academic aesthetic #phd aesthetic #phd scholar #grad school motivation #phdblr #confessionpost #phdjourney #physics phd #confessions #Confessions of a phd student #phd studyblr #Messy processes #phdblog

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ruporas · 27 days

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dragon meat, you, and me

#marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive #the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence #evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved #ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost #on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation #the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood #in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art

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onebadnoodle · 5 months

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more messy character sketches. the nitty gritty stuff i don't usually post

#character design #sketches #messy #wanted to share more of my design process #character exploration

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fernsnailz · 6 months

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cleaning out the files, sonic sketch edition

#i think the one thing i'll always admire about my art is my lack of consistency lol #my style depends on the emotion or the character or the scene i'm drawing. and i hope seeing how messy my process can be #helps other growing artists out there just get messy with their work. get those feelings out onto a page #fern's sketchbook #sth #not tagging all those characters lol #🦔🦇🤖

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greykolla-art · 2 months

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have you ever shared your comic making process? im super interested in seeing how you go about everything from start to finish!

#grey answers #grey’s art process #grey will not gatekeep any knowledge!#this is all very messy and approachable !#come play in the mud with me kids!#comic process #comic making #kill your perfectionism kids!#😂😂😂#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel comic #I should say I’ve been drawing non stop for like 20 years too and got a diploma in illustration #but still this is just twigs and mud nothing scary!

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hippaforalkus · 1 year

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Tell me why I can get no relief Wondering when they'll come for me A paranoid man makes paranoid plans I do what I can, but it's out of my hands Struggling just to find my peace

#vin #I love her your honor #did I just put post malone lyrics under mistborn fanart?#yes yes I did #really leaning into this lack of clean lineart phase of mine #really shortens the whole drawing process for me even if it looks messy af hahaha #my art #mistborn era 1 #mistborn #cosmere

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sad-leon · 20 days

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Happy Asexual day :D

#sad•leonart #rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rottmnt leonardo #rise leonardo #asexual #demisexual #aromantic #demiromantic #in honor of asexual day heres a leo thats helping me process that im like demi-sexual/romantic #feelings are hard <3 #also got a new drawing tablet that im trying to adjust to #so this is very messy aljdflasjdf

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months

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Hi! I hope this is okay but I would love to hear more of ur thoughts about the Yunmeng siblings because they are important to me and your tummy hurt comic hasn't left my brain as just,,, such good immediate characterization! ^^ Thanks!