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wagner-fell · 3 years

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“So then Catra writes on this note ‘hey Adora’ and Adora is like ‘grrrr’ and so they do this whole passive aggressive dance where you could have cut the sexual tension with a knife. Oh, and then-”

“I. Hate. History. Class.” Mari slammed their plastic lunch tray onto the table.

“Oh thank god,” said Kevin. Listening to Mari rant was much preferable to hearing about the Princess Prom episode from Astrid. Again.

Blessica hit Kevin and gave him a pointed look.

“I mean it’s bad enough I have to write essays about fucking colonizers. But now I have to sit next to this white-ass American boy? No thanks.”

“You know,” began Astrid, “if you wanted, I could kill this new guy for you with, oh I don’t know, werewolf po-”

“No!” they all shouted in unison. Astrid was mundane with the gift of the slight but she didn’t think of it like a gift. What was the point of being able to see this fantastical reality if she couldn’t be a part of it? What was the point of having three werewolves as your best friends if they refused to turn you into one?

Blessica tried to tell her that, as a downworlder, she would face a lot of discrimination. But what kinda excuse was that? Astrid was a Korean lesbian who, for most of the time, lived with her single mother. At least this branch of marginalization gave her freakin’ superpowers. The only superpower Astrid currently had at her disposal was not having to date men.

Astrid angrily took a bite of her cinnamon roll and Mari followed suit. Blessica tried to pat her arm but Astrid swatted her away.

“American?” Kevin asked. “I don’t remember any Americans. Is he new?”

Mari nodded through a mouthful of baked goods. She tucked her tie into her black-and-white uniform sweater vest so they didn’t stain it. Normally she wouldn’t have bothered but laundry had been a living nightmare lately. They promptly realized that her sweater vest was also going to get food on it. In removing it, their stomach flashed briefly. She stuffed it in her bag and set an alarm on her phone so they wouldn’t forget to put it back on before the lunch bell rang. Like that time Miss Yang made them jelly doughnuts and she got detention for a week. Mari really hated this school sometimes.

When she looked up to see half the surrounding area staring at them, they looked down at her collared shirt to see if she had gotten fresh cinnamon bun gooeyness on it already.

Astrid laughed. “It’s because you exposed your six-pack.” She moved her fork around in circles, making sure the ranch covered each piece of lettuce in her salad. Astrid loved ranch. She kept a gigantic bottle of it in her bag at all times. “You know, one time this guy asked me if you got them tattooed on. Cause girls can’t have abs and all that bull.”

“And what did you tell him?” asked Mari, amused.

“No.”

“Thank go-”

“I told him the truth. That the only tattoo you have is of Consul Lightwood’s face on your ass.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“The world deserves to know.”

“You're a hazard to society.”

“Awwwww. Mari! I love you too.”

Astrid smiled and shoved a mouthful of salad into her mouth as Mari rolled their eyes.

“Holy shit,” said Blessica, staring at something over Mari’s shoulder. “That is the second hottest man I have ever seen.”

Kevin glanced in the direction she was looking at then back to her. “What? Who?” he asked at the same time Mari drawled, “second hottest, who’s the first?” with a single eyebrow raised.

Blessica blushed as Kevin continued his search. “M-magnus Bane. Obviously.”

“Riiiiiiiight,” said Astrid, looking between her and Kevin.

Blessica blushed deeper. “Shut up.”

“Wow,” said Kevin. “That him?” He pointed and this time Mari turned around…to face Kit fucking Herondale.

Blessica, still red in the face, nodded.

“Wow indeed,” agreed Astrid.

“Aren’t you a lesbian?” questioned Blessica.

“Blessie, darling, I may rather suck on a cactus than suck on a dick but hotties can admire their fellow hotties. Gender is irrelevant in this scenario.”

Mari slammed their hands down onto the table. “Ladies! We are better than simping, even just hottie wise, over an American, white boy! We have standards! And Kevin! I know that” disgust dripped from her voice, “is your type, but resist!”

He rolled his eyes. “Jesus. You hook up with two blonde nephilim and suddenly it’s your type.”

“Yes,” said Astrid slowly, as if explaining something to a very dim child, “that’s how it works.”

Mari felt like they were missing something. Her three friends began discussing where they wanted to go tomorrow for Blessica’s birthday but they were stuck on Kevin’s statement. Something about it wasn’t quite right. It took her longer than she was proud of to figure it out.

“Wait, hold up, did you say nephilim? Kit is a Shadowhunter?!”

They all exchanged a look. “Uh, yeah. Didn’t you see the Mark on his hand?”

Mari turned back to him again. He was sitting by himself at a few tables, scrolling away. And on the hand holding his water bottle… was a voyance rune, clear as day. How did they miss that? “What is a Shadowhunter doing here anyway?”

Kevin shrugged. “Perhaps he’s here to check out London’s up-coming werewolf. I hear she’s a hazard to society.”

Astrid’s head shot up. “Really?!”

“No, sorry sweetie,” interjected Blessica. Astrid finished her cinnamon bun with an annoyed ‘hmph’.

They chatted more about Blessica’s upcoming sixteenth birthday before Kevin came up with the dumbest idea ever. Which was an extremely difficult title to earn amongst the 11th years at St. Lucy’s Academy.

“We should invite the Shadowhunter.”

Mari scoffed. “The whole pack’s gonna be there! Like hell they would let a Shadowhunter crash it.”

“Oh please. Once they lay their eyes on McDreamy, they’ll all forget about his angel blood.”

Astrid gasped. “Is that a Grey’s Anatomy reference? Are you finally watching it?” They all ignored her.

“I think it might be fun,” said Blessica. “And it’s my party so…” She stood up and walked over to Kit’s table, Kevin right behind her.

Astrid picked up her salad with one hand and her second cinnamon bun with the other. “Come in,” she said. “What’s the worst that can happen. You fall in love?”

“Haha,” said Mari, slinging her bag over their shoulder and joining the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @adoravel-fenomeno @im-not-ruined-im-ruination@thechangeling @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @sofiatheskeleton @cncnbr @its-taff @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @noah-herondale-lightwood @maxboythedog @arangiajoan @shelvesofgold @illusions-give-reasons-to-live @book-dragon-not-worm @the-blackdale @the-wckd-powers Lmk if you want to b adde/removed from the tag list!

#mari machado #mari Machado Sotomayor #blessica reyes #astrid yang #kevin chu #the merry hoes #kit rook #kit herondale #mari the werewolf

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cattles-bians · 3 years

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exes au part 14

post directory

obsetress:

obsetress: viola

em: holy shit

em: i think viola could hold a truly ridiculous number of things in her hands

em: danis like i have a little fanny pack right here- and violas like (turns up nose) absolutely not

obsetress: pre therapy viola during her relationship w dani: buys dani a birkin too, is like "here baby, so you don't have to use that fanny pack"

obsetress: dani's like "oh. i, um. like my fanny pack"

obsetress: viola therapy era after her relationship with dani: buys her a hermes fanny pack instead

obsetress: jamie rolls her eyes but dani is literally

em: i think a lot abt viola offering solutions completely unprompted n then being really offended when ppl dont take her up on it

em: pre therapy obvs

obsetress: SAME

obsetress: oh link is gross

obsetress: cost is grosser

obsetress: but viola lloyd dropping $2550 on a fanny pack for her ex gf? chefs kiss

---

obsetress: ok just remembered viola slouching or leaning or w/e n like

obsetress: brain practically applying that to exes au and imagining when and where she'd slouch n everyone's reactions to htat

obsetress: bc like she has perfect posture but when she chooses to do it it's a power move

obsetress: and i. hm

em: yeah

obsetress: viola sitting up stock straight when they first get to brunch and as soon as she's ordered her bloody mary shes pulling off her sunglasses and dropping them on the table and just sinking back

em: how to phrase this w/o sounding too much like a whore

em: actually no way to say this but like i feel v strongly abt the way we make women take up less space wrt to knees together calves touching type deal and i think maybe

em: maybe viola can manspread a bit as a treat

em: hate that term but i cant think of a better one

obsetress: nah she does n it's hot

obsetress: just had this image pre divorce of viola and arthur at marriage counseling on opp ends of the couch n arthur's sitting v tight close and vi is just

obsetress: leaning and spreading a lil

obsetress: the first time jamie sees her do it she's so taken aback

obsetress: because she's NOT expecting it

em: jamies like ah ok late in life lesbian deal and then jokes on her viola is fluent in dyke slouch

obsetress: jamie immediately trying to suss out just how long viola has been fucking women

obsetress: she says to dani later "i thought she was all proper like" and dani's like "she is" and jamie's like "so wot was that then" and dani's like "well, people are gay, jamie,"

em: ghfjhgljkJFDASJKKJFGA

em: jamies like so wait how long HAS viola been

obsetress: jamie: so you were vi's first serious girlfriend right? dani: dani: jamie: right???????

em: violas been fucking women longer than jamie has lbr

em: i mean shes clearly only 35, jamie,

obsetress: jamie: so... vi... viola: hm? jamie: you're, uh, gay, right? viola: obviously jamie: right. well dani told me you've been dating women since–– viola: since i was 15, yes jamie: but you married a man

em: violas like u went to jail everyone does stupid shit occasionally

em: jamie: so how long have you been dating women viola: since i was 15 jamie: no i meant like. in years viola raises her eyebrows and jamies just like haha nevermind fuck

obsetress: she tried!

obsetress: she tried

em: jamie on her 35th birthday pencilling 'many happy returns' into violas ????th 35th birthday card

em: yknow i think

em: i think something's afoot

obsetress: jamie, giving up on the direct approach

obsetress: slipping in next to rebecca at the wine bar

obsetress: "becca"

obsetress: "hi, jamie" "hi. how old is your girlfriend"

em: am fucking losing it thinking abt jamie like. realising how much gay energy viola has

em: like taken ABACK

obsetress: fksljfLKSDJFLJ

obsetress: just like

obsetress: why are jamies reactions to viola so funny

obsetress: montage of jamie realizing how much gay energy viola has

obsetress: jamie watching viola sitting

obsetress: jamie watching viola pick up a variety of glasses and mugs

obsetress: jamie watching viola compare hand sizes with dani, jamie's girlfriend and viola's ex girlfriend who she dated for literal years and whose hand size she definitely already knows

em: NOT THE HAND SZIES

em: they go for a walk and viola immediately complains about the sun and jamie's like

em: i have a spare hat but ur not gonna like it

em: its a snapback that says daddy or smthn in gold, owen got it for jamie for her bday, jamie Loathes it

obsetress: BYE

obsetress: viola looks better in it than jamie does

em: jamie has that

em: am i attracted to viola? moment

em: it passses

em: she has already compartmentalised the weird psychosexual power play

em: queen of compartmentalising

obsetress: jamie: had another one of those moments today dani: what moments? jamie: where i thought i might be attracted to vi dani: well, you did let her fuck you... what was it, four? times in one night, so

em: jamie; yeah but like that aside

em: jamie 'thats neither here nor there' taylor

obsetress: she is the queen of compartmentalizing tho

em: i was gonna be like. 'jamies like wait i dont remember saying four' but. i think she would tell dani

em: because the flip of that is dani callin up vi n i dont think she would necessarily

obsetress: i think she would and dani would make her anyway

obsetress: well make her is harsh but

obsetress: dani would very curiously ask in very convincing ways

em: lovingly coax it out of her

em: dani: what if i fucked you four times in o

obsetress: dani: let me do five

em: viola probably wears so many rings jamie doesn’t even clock the ever present thumb ring

obsetress: jamie just. writes it all off

em: am laughing abt like. viola v meticulously taking off every single ring and putting it in its proper location before...

obsetress: there is something. so hot about that

obsetress: im gonna scream i think

em: i was just meming and now im thinking abt it and

em: truly played myself

em: actually this is me refusing to unpack whatever the hell theo crain gloves made me feel

obsetress: sdkfmsldjfa

obsetress: fair

em: sublimate it into rings

obsetress: i just like um

obsetress: thinkin about when she and dani are together and like

obsetress: it's intentional and everything has its place but vi also makes a show out of it

obsetress: and like

obsetress: she's SO painstaking about it and definitely makes dani wait a little bit and

em: helps dani outta her big ass earrings

em: i mean dani doesnt even Need the help

em: viola meticulous lloyd

em: i mean she just wears so much goddamn jewellry

obsetress: she can tell when dani's getting impatient and goes even slower

em: viola has like

em: viola is one of thos ppl thats really into expensive watches

obsetress: !!!!!!

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: nice lil canon nod too

em: she drags dani to antique auctions n danis like i cant. actually tell the difference between the real and the forgery and violas like (passionately explains it for like 30 minutes) and dani is

em: like shes mentally checked out but also v intensely watching violas hands as she points to the parts of the watch

em: rebecca gets it tho

em: rebecca Gets It

obsetress: dani shoving vi into the bathroom at the auction house and tugging vi's hand between her legs v rebecca grabbing her own auction paddle and bidding against viola for the same watch

obsetress: (rebecca n vi fuck in the car on the ride home)

em: dani grabs a paddle n mimes spanking viola n then the auctioneer is like '$250 to 201' and danis like aw Fcuk

em: violas like i cant take u Anywhere

obsetress: dani gives her the 🥺😌and viola's immediately over it and pulling out $250

obsetress: dani: i didn't even want it, i was just–– vi: i know dani: what am i even gonna do with a–– vi: i'll sell it for $500 at a private auction next week dani: so technically i'm making you money dani, grinning: it's like i'm your employee dani: do you have any more assignments for me, boss? vi: dani get your hand out of my pocket i need to focu––

#dj khaled voice another one #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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sicklylittleguy · 4 years

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Rant about the ml new york special because hOLY SHIT

also I feel like this is a given but just in case !!SPOILER WARNING FOR THE NY SPECIAL!!

JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS A TRIP, I’ll try to separate this post into different points because wow theres a lot I have to say :0

FIRST OFF CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE chefs kiss REPRESENTATION IN THIS??? A CHARACTER OF COLOUR (technically uncanny was an android and not a person but its still cool to see), AN ADULT LESBIAN COUPLE PORTRAYED IN A WAY THAT TREATS IT AS A NORMAL AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, THE EAGLE MIRACULOUS FOUND ITS WAY BACK TO A NATIVE, THE HOLDER OF THE MIRACULOUS BOX IS A NATIVE, THE AMERICAN MIRACULOUS ARE ALL NATIVE CENTRIC WHICH I _ADORE _I’m so proud of this show wow

SECOND MARI CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT???? I thought I’d never live to see the day. based off the trailer I was really worried the show would continue to promote Maris stalker ass behaviour and make her borderline unwatchable but I was pleasantly surprised with how they treated her. For the most part she seemed to be determined to get over Adrien and recognised how unhealthy her obsession over him is. Of course things aren’t fully perfect yet what with the airplane scene but I feel like we’ve made genuine strides. aLSO I loved Maris friend group also pointing out the obsession and encouraging Mari to improve, ESPECIALLY Nino and especially Alya, from her first scenes, rather than focusing on two far ends of a spectrum Alya encouraged Marinette to come to terms with how stalkerish she is, achieve a healthy mindset with Adrien and then further their relationship. Once again, the scene where her, Nino, Uncanny and Sparrow (I cant remember their civilian sames sorry :|) tried to trick the two to get together set them back by a bit, I realize their goals and intentions were not bad though.

OKAY AND MAY WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT CHAT NOIR AND LADYBUGS RELATIONSHIP IN THIS, there’s so much to cover I dont know where to start T_T. In the past this show has put me through some emotions but NEVER as strongly as this special did. I on god cried and if you know me in real life you’ll know I rarely ever cry, especially at shows and such. I feel like Adriens pressure to not let Ladybug down was really portrayed well, considering he’s willing to relinquish chat noir, his only escape from his fathers tight grip on his entire life, if he thinks it’ll help ladybug even a little. plus I’m really glad Adrien got the chance to hear in a heartfelt moment that ladybug genuinely cares and values him as a partner, in the past I feel like thats always been said but only now did it feel so genuine, similar to the contrast of chat noirs playful flirting versus him genuinely caring and loving ladybug. I was genuinely worried before that Chats feeling of being a less valuable member of their duo (which he kinda is fuck you Astruc, they’re entire point is that they balance each other perfectly so write it that way) would grow and he’d give up chat noir. Alsoo, I feel like their argument did a fantastic job of portraying how no ones relationship will ever always be smooth sailing but just because of that it doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t incredibly strong and both members still care for eachother.

ALSOO MORE TALKING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS BUT THIS TIME ITS LUKADRIGAMINETTE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT I know they were only in the first 15 minutes of the special but wOW. Kagami kissed Adrien (or it looked like on the lips to me), which makes the entire forcing Adrien and Mari together kinda yikes on Alya and Ninos part. Mari was able to kiss Luka on the cheek (I audibly yelled at 11:30 pm whoops) which shows that she is capable of having a healthy love interest in someone without literally stalking them. Minor point but I wanted to add that I wasn’t super happy with Kagami this special. I’ve loved her in the more recent episodes because of how she was treated more as a normal person with strict parents than a slightly racist fencing robot who only cares about honour but for the little bit that she was in this ep she seemed to have gone back to the cold robot we saw when she was first introduced. OOH ALSO Luka and Kagami were both in paris while everyone was gone which if you ask me is impeccable proof that they’re canon no I’m not grasping at tiny straws in pain shut up.

Now for the probably final topic, the amount of adrienette content we got in this special is giving me a will to live holy shit, on top of Mari trying to get character development, Adrien was also able to seemingly recognise Marinette more in general. Again, the airplane scene did set us back a bit but when they were talking while looking at the sunset it showed how much potential they really have as a couple. Alsoooo I loved how Mari was finally able to get credit for helping people. in the past almost everything nice she’s tried to do has resulted in akumas or misunderstandings (ie: reverser, her scarf for adrien, partly animaestro, almost every other episode..) but in the special not only was she able to get Adrien to go to New York (I know she technically didn’t but this is more of a direct character analysis than overarching plot and for the sake of simplicity everyone thinks it’s cause of her that Adrien could go.) but she had Adrien directly thank and acknowledge her for allowing him to go. they also made absolute leaps and bounds in terms of talking to one another. of course we couldn’t see as much in the end but it’s clear Marinette is slowly but surely making her way to maintaining a steady conversation with Adrien without being creepy or stalkerish and Adrien is slowly beginning to see Marinette as a viable partner. (also you cannot tell me this special wasn’t entirely Adrien being in love with mari without realizing). as I mentioned in the previous paragraph though I am concerned with if it’s okay for this stuff to be happening what with what seems to be a steady relationship between Adrien and Kagami.

I could type more but I feel ill soo conclusion conclusion I’m gay for sparrow conclusion thanks for reading if you did.

#ml #miraculous #miraculous thoughts #miraculous new york #miraculous ny special #ml new york #ml ny special #miraculous ladybug #long post #holy shit wait I made a full essay oops lmao #anyway yeah I love sparrow can you tell

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five-wow · 4 years

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10.07 THOUGHTS. MANY SPOILERS AHEAD

i probably genuinely might not have recognized steve at first, with his beard and cap, if i hadn’t already seen pictures of alex like that. ALSO. steve opens one (1) door and immediately gets attacked by at least three men. oh, steve

steve!!! brought backup!!! to this secretive meeting with some government official who wants to give him shady info!!! i’m so proud of him, and it’s also a wonderful way to NOT EXCLUDE DANNY from important later-season steve episodes for once.

danny’s FACE after they hear it’s about steve’s mother made me actually bark a laugh out loud. oh boY

“but you’d rather bloody these hands instead.” OH GOD okay okay okay i love this, from the bit where steve STILL can’t believe his mother might have done a Very Bad Thing but looks kind of scared and hurt anyway, like he knows it IS actually possible but just can’t admit to it, all the way to the bit where it’s a little more complicated than just “random guy shows up with shady intel and everyone more or less trusts him and steve jumps at the chance to do something dangerous”. GOOD STUFF

“she gave up a family, for you agency, you know that?” OH STEVE. i have a feeling i’m going to be saying that a lot, fjdkfd.

wait wait wait. so lou says lucia, their big bad, has always preferred the company of women, “biblically”, and then steve says that doris was smart and used that... to get close... to lucia?? that sounds like they’re saying doris slept her way into this which, fjdkfdj, that means my doris/amanda ship just got 50% more plausible.

it also means five-0 has yet another evil lesbian (in lucia, not doris) and i’m not to hyped about that, but. we’ll see.

random, but: i LOVE lou’s shirt. it’s this lightly pink thing with sporadic sailboats on it and it’s glorious.

tani says that to her this looks like a suicide operation and she’s not even DONE TALKING when danny says “i said the same thing” and he’s not even angry or trying to appeal to steve anymore, he’s just kind of... sad and resigned, which is WORSE.

danny WALKS OFF. STEVE STARES AFTER HIM. OH NO

THIS IS GOOD. VERY BAD BUT VERY GOOD

and before steve can even get STARTED on his crazy infiltration plan, his car gets shot at and blown up. oh, this is all going so well. it’s that wonderful mcgarrett luck of his at its finest.

“what do you wanna do?” junior asks DANNY, very specifically, after he tracked steve down. fdjkfd just. THANK YOU, alex, for actually making danny a huge part of this, unlike in some major episodes which won’t be named (7.07! 7.07!!! and, oh god, i’d almost managed to repress the whole “let’s not call danny because he’d just worry” thing from 9.10, but that one too, holy shit)

fjdkfdjkfdjk literally, the entire team is just standing around (except quinn - where’s quinn this episode? i miss her) but junior is ONLY arguing with danny over whether he gets to go in and rescue steve or not, like danny is the sole person who gets a say in this. he ASKS FOR DANNY’S BLESSING. steve and danny are so literally the team dads it’s not even funny anymore.

steve confronts doris and some of the first words she says are “but please, trust me” and it’s NOT funny, it’s very emphatically not funny at all, but it’s kind of funny. holy shit, doris.

“my life was compromised the day you walked out of it.” OHHHHH. just. just so many good lines about steve’s hurt by doris’ hand.

doris CRACKS STEVE OVER THE HEAD. WELL GREAT. now we can add physical violence to her list of sins against steve.

steve, to junior: “what did i tell you?” junior: “it’s been so long i couldn’t remember.” fjdkfjdk love him.

i have literally no idea who these other two guys are that junior brought with him (should we know them?), but i’m guessing they’re other navy seals? some of those we’ve never seen before but who are always immediately willing to help out with crazy shit when our main characters need them, because it’s convenient and it adds someone who can be killed off in a single episode for extra tension without needing to spend too much time on it?

dfjkd danny asking junior “you got the animal with you?” is just so perfect. he’s obviously EXTREMELY WORRIED but he can’t just show that too obviously so he insults steve. brilliant move.

also, the “it’s good to hear your voice, buddy” bit almost made me cry.

THAT DREAM. oh my god, THAT DREAM.

doris points a gun at steve, because OF COURSE SHE DOES.

“oh, that’s this ends? huh? you gonna kill me, now?” like i said before: OH STEVE.

oh my gOD they ACTUALLY made doris the bad guy. I DID NOT. EXPECT THIS. don’t get me wrong, i absolutely totally LOVE IT but i DID NOT THINK they’d go there, holy shit.

doris is rambling crazily about how she lost her husband and her kids WHILE POINTING A GUN at one of those kids, which perfectly encapsulates why she’s so wrong, wow.

“stop thinking about yourself for a second and think about my loss.” oh my GOD, doris, ARE YOU SERIOUS

“a family that never understood me or the sacrifices i made for them” fjdkfdjkfdjkf I DIE this is so hard to watch but SO GOOD. this is everything i could possibly ever have wanted them to do with doris, ESPECIALLY when steve tells her straight to her face that she never actually made those sacrifices for them because HE’S RIGHT, obviously, but genuinely, i didn’t think something like this would ever happen outside the realm of fanfic. wow.

listen. i don’t give two shits about doris, okay, and it might actually be BETTER that she’s dead now, but oh. oh. steve’s response? steve, completely unable to move, staring at his dead mom and just sinking back to the floor like a bag of potatoes when junior tries to drag him up? OH. that has me very near tears anyway

the shots from steve’s pov with the vision that keeps blurring out? oh god.

once back in washington some cia guys zip open the body bags to take pictures and fingerprints and that makes sense but do they really have to do that RIGHT IN FRONT OF STEVE

“she stayed on target, until the very end. she did her job.” are you serious. no. she did not do her job, nor did she stay on target - she nearly killed her son, remember that part?

someone knocked at the door of steve’s sad gray washington hotel room and i was like PLEASE LET IT BE DANNY and he opened the door and IT WAS DANNY. why is this episode so good. why

okay so. the money doris was after was supposed to be for steve and mary and joanie. oh my god, i genuinely don’t know if that makes anything better or worse at this point, but it’s going to be even more of a gut punch for steve, for sure

“define okay for me” I AM SO DEAD

steve ACTUALLY MENTIONS the fact that five-0 started with the dead of his father and that joe died only last year and nOW HIS MOTHER. this!!! this is an episode actually written by someone who understands this character and it rips my heart apart in the very best of ways

“the bed, that’s big enough for two people, right?” OKAY. first you tear my heart to pieces, then you run it through a shredder just to be sure, and then you make me laugh AND give the entire fandom NEARLY CANON “there is only one bed” trope???

THIS WAS SO GOOD. SO PAINFUL BUT SO GOOD. i genuinely did not think i would like an episode that promised the return of doris, but they did just about the one thing with her that DID make it something i really, really wanted to watch and just, oh god, they kept danny in it as a person who actually plays a part in steve’s life, and steve was so good, every single bit of it, and there was so much direly needed dialogue about steve and doris’ relationship and just, yes. god, yes. this was brilliant. this was probably my favorite episode in a good long while and i don’t even LIKE angst.

#h50 spoilers #h50 #steve mcgarrett #10.07 #*

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cozyrei · 4 years

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A Playful Heart Chapter 1

This chapter will have transphobic and homophobic language and cursing. Please be warned.

Sera Masumi couldn't believe it. One day, she was fine, the next day she was growling at everyone. Am I a monster? I have to be a monster, otherwise I wouldn't be growling at everyone I come across. She thought as she looked in the mirror as she felt her face. She hissed when she had accidentally scratched herself with her sharp claws. "Where's Mama when I need her?" Masumi asked herself. She didn't know that there was a full moon right outside of the hotel room's window and it was shining very brightly.

"Right here." A childish, yet mature voice answered Masumi's question and Masumi was shocked by her appearance. She then placed her hands behind her back, not knowing how her mother was going to react to her new problem. Mary rolled her eyes, ready to clobber Masumi for her actions but she knew that the girl didn't know. After all, Mary knew that the gene didn't skip her and it definitely didn't skip Masumi. "You don't have to hide yourself, Masumi. I know." Mary tells Masumi and Masumi dropped her hands as she felt her claws grew even more sharper.

"Hurts." Masumi whimpered out and Mary was right by her side as Masumi experienced her first transformation and she growled. When the transformation was over, Mary was shocked to see that Masumi was like a puppy, a werewolf puppy. So, she gets the the most harmless werewolf gene that ever existed while I get the feral werewolf gene? Life is so cruel to me. Mary thought as she watched her youngest and only daughter, sniff at her own clothes.

"Even as a werewolf puppy, she is still a child." Mary spoke to herself. She then noticed what Masumi was about to do and she glared at Masumi. "Don't you dare use the bathroom on the floor. Go to the bathroom!" Mary growled out at Masumi and Masumi yelped in fear and she ran to the bathroom. When she was finished, she was greeted by her mother. "Do I have to do everything for you, now?" Mary asked Masumi and the girl stood up. Her ears twitched and she scratched herself like a dog and Mary smiled, glad that Masumi had the werewolf puppy gene but she knew that the more transformations Masumi would have, the more dangerous her werewolf form would become. Even if she does have the werewolf puppy gene, it can turn into a feral werewolf gene. Mary thought as she watched Masumi look into the mirror as she pulled at the fur on her face. Mary knew that fighting off her transformation was hurting her and she decided to transform as well in order to cope with the burning pain. Masumi whimpered when her mother stood over her. Mary growled at Masumi and Masumi barked back an answer. Mary then walked to her room and she motioned for Masumi to follow with her head. Masumi followed her mother inside of the room. Mary plopped onto her bed and she grabbed Masumi and she held her close. She softly growled at Masumi and Masumi fell asleep, feeling safe in her mother's arms.

The next morning, Masumi yawned and she rubbed at her eyes. She then realized that she was back to normal as she checked over herself and she sighed in relief. "That wasn't a dream, by the way." Mary tells her daughter, who sighed.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out." Masumi tells her mother. Mary didn't tell Masumi to get off of her yet and Masumi was waiting for it.

"You were waiting on me to yell at you to get off of me, weren't you?" Mary accused Masumi but she knew that was her normal reaction and she sighed when she saw that Masami had blushed at being found out. I can't do that to her now in any case. That was her first transformation and she is going to get clingy after a while. Mary thought as she leaned up in her bed. Masumi was still holding to her shirt and she knew that she can't just leave Masumi without an explanation about what the fuck had happened last night. "I will answer your question about last night after we get breakfast. Get off of me so I can get presentable. You can cling onto me when I'm ready." Mary promised her daughter. After Mary had put on more suitable clothes, she then looked into the mirror and she hated that she wasn't in her adult body. It wouldn't look weird if my teenage daughter was clinging onto her adult mother's adult body but now that I'm a child once again, it'll just look weird. She thought.

Masumi seemed to have the same thoughts as she avoided clinging onto her mother even though she was her mother. I wish that Mama was back to normal already. Masumi thought as she whined to herself about the thought. She wanted her mother to have her normal body back, but there was no way she could help her mother get back to normal now! When they went down for breakfast, Mary immediately stopped Masumi from going any further than she was. "Ma-mary?" Mary hated that Masumi had almost ruined it when she watched people stare at her and Masumi. Someone approached Masumi and Mary felt her maternal instincts go off when the boy looked at Masumi in a very rude way.

"You're a fag?" The boy asked and Masumi winced at the term. Where do he get off? I don't look gay. For that matter, I'm a lesbian. She thought to herself. She didn't like those types of terms as she seen what it has done to the people they were directed towards. And here I was, getting excited for my hormone therapy. She knew that she had to be chirpy when she noticed the way her mother was looking and she shuddered at how murderous the woman was looking.

"I'm a girl." Masumi answered weakly. The boy laughed at how hurt the girl sounded and he then grabbed the girl's shirt, pulling her towards his face.

"So, you're a tranny, then?" The more insults the boy pulled out of his ass, the more enraged Mary gotten. Mary knew that Masumi was bound to come across people like this but she didn't know that it was this bad. Mary growled when she saw that tears were threatening to spill from Masumi's eyes but for some reason, the girl glared at the boy that was still holding her by her shirt and she grabbed his wrist and she held on tightly with one hand. The boy released her due to the pain in his wrist but she then punched him in his face for his comments towards her. Mary gasped in horror. Holy shit, that werewolf gene is acting up like crazy now! Mary thought as she watched Masumi nearly break the boy's wrist.

"Where do you get off, insulting me like that? What does my personal life matter to you, anyway? I don't you and you sure as hell don't know me. Now, please, leave me alone." Masumi spoke very calmly to the boy that had insulted her and yet, she was still polite to him. The boy gasped at Masumi's growing anger as she glared at him and she released his hand. The boy rubbed his wrist and she slowly relaxed as she realized that she needed to calm down. "Please, don't ever insult someone like that ever again." Masumi warned the boy and she walked away while holding Mary's hand. As they went to the breakfast room, Mary questioned Masumi.

"What the hell? You suffer through that shit?" Mary asked Masumi and Masumi clinched her other fist.

"Yeah, it's shitty but it's doable." Masumi didn't have to tell her mother that their words hurt. She knew that her mother knew that their words hurt. She didn't have to explain to her mother that the words does make her think about the what ifs but Masumi knew that she was happy the way she was. She is a girl and she will forever be a girl even if someone say she should be a he.

"You still shouldn't suffer through all of that, Masumi." Mary tells Masumi but Masumi shrugged her shoulders, knowing that she forever have to deal with transphobic people due to their not understanding. She was just glad that the most important person knew and understood, which was her mother.

"I'm okay as long as you understand, Mama." Masumi spoke quietly and this told Mary that Masumi was through with the conversation for now and she respected her decision as she hugged Masumi with her little arms. She wished that she was in her adult body because she knew that was the only way to give her the comfort she sought from her mother. After they had gotten breakfast, Mary made good on her promise to tell Masumi about their family secret.

"Masumi, do you remember what happened after your transformation?" She asked Masumi and the girl thought about it before she frowned slightly.

"I remember the transformation but nothing after that." She admitted to her mother and Mary frowned. I knew that was going to happen. People who transform into werewolves can't remember anything unless they have been werewolves for a long time, like me. She thought as she looked at her daughter. She remembered what happened after her transformation and she did nothing but comfort Masumi after her first transformation into a werewolf.

Mary sighed as she held onto Masumi's shoulders. "Masumi, in our family, there's a curse that befalls quite a few of our family members. Sometimes, they lose themselves in the curse but others use it to help other people. This is a curse that transforms us into werewolves. There is a mark that is always on our shoulders that proves it. It is shaped in the form of werewolf claws and it is only visible when the moon is shining brightly. You can not let any regular see that mark, Masumi. It will spell danger for you and I love you too much to let anything happen to you." Mary tells Masumi and the girl was shocked by her mother being emotional.

"I won't let anyone see the mark, Mama." Masumi tells her mother and Mary sighed in relief as she checked Masumi's shoulder to check that there wasn't the mark on her shoulder. It will come back when the moon is full again. Mary thought as she knew this as she massaged the shoulder where her mark belongs.

And that is the ending of the first chapter of A Playful Heart! Please tell me what you thought about the chapter and I will start Chapter 2 of the story soon.

#fanfiction #detective conan #sera masumi #sera mary #werewolves #family curse #alternate universe

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Beauty in the Sheets - Chapter 2 - (Branjie) - Thankyoumissvanjie

A/N: YOU GUYYYYYS! All these comments and all the sweet words are making me blush. Thank you for engage with it, it really made the difference. So here you have 5k words of these messy little shits.

“I fucked someone from the floor,”

“Brooke Lynn Isabelle Hytes…” Nina buried her head in her hands, wishing that she could go ten minutes back before Brooke had barged into her room with a frantic look in her eyes.

“Though technically I fucked first and then she became part of the floor, so I didn’t actuall-“

“I hate that your ex is a lawyer.” She did. She really did.

LINK TO AO3

“Me?”

“You’re the bitch who always gets the last freshly baked croissant down at the Starbucks on Monday mornings. Hoe, I’ve been wanting to yell at you for three months,” Pointing her finger at her, she made an intimidating presence, despite her small size.

“Okay?” Brooke’s brows furrowed in confusion as she tried to process what Vanjie was saying.

Croissants?

“Bitch, you know how much I need a warm and flaky piece of french tastiness on a Monday morning? Do you?” The juxtaposition of the petite woman in front of her couple with the angry and loud tenor of her voice, made Brooke feel blindsided.

What the fuck, was she on about?

“From the way you’re acting, I am guessing a lot?”

“A fuck ton, Mary. I swear, you been on my shit list forever - always walking in front of me in yo’ perfect hair and yoga pants stealing my Monday morning pastry fantasy! What you got to say for yourself?” Vanessa slowly walked towards her as her voice got louder, ending right in front of her, her neck craned to keep eye contact.

There was something about those eyes. Where had she seen those eyes before?

“Uhm… Nothing?”

“Really hoe?”

“That croissant is the only carb I let myself eat during the week. So really, I won’t apologize.” Shrugging, she walked passed Vanjie, putting down her bags on the bed that wasn’t filled with half a Mac store of products and four dresses.

“You one of them hoes that don’t let themselves live? You for real?”

“Okay. This is quite simple. I go there every Monday at 8:45, get my coffee and croissants and go down to the counter. I am neither aiding or abetting in you not getting your “Monday morning pastry fantasy”, as you so aptly put it,” She really couldn’t see the problem. So she got that last croissant? There were other places to get one than that Starbucks - though Liam always made the best espresso.

“Aiding and abetting? What you on about?”

“If you are looking for a culprit, maybe you should talk to the guy working there? I am just an innocent bystander” She couldn’t believe that she was throwing Liam under the bus. But the angry and, quite frankly, beautiful woman in front of her made her want to be on her good side.

Not that she could do anything about it.

“Now why would I do my man Liam dirty? He always be remembering my name and drank?”

“And yet he never saves a croissant for you? You sure, he’s your man?” Her raised eyebrow challenged Vanessa to contradict her.

I am so sorry, Liam. But I just want this beautiful woman to stop yelling at me.

“Shit, you right. Goddammit, Liam, I thought we had something special,”

“Yeah well…” Brooke laughed a bit, as she saw Vanessa calming down. “So you want to try this again?” She put her hand out, hoping that they could restart.

Still. There was something about those eyes.

“Yeah, sorry girl, I take my Monday mornin’ rituals serious,” the sheepish smile she sent her way, was enough to make up for the angry poking she had done a few seconds ago.

“I get it, so uhm. Hi, I’m Brooke,” She did her best at not feeling the tingle that ran up her hand as Vanessa grabbed it with hers. Softly shaking it.

“And I’m Vanjie.”

She was cute.

Brooke was fucked.

She was still basking in the afterglow, her muscles sore and mind fussy.

Bella was sitting in the window smoking, still naked.

The moonlight was lighting up her body, showcasing her perfection. Vanjie took the moment to really look at her. She admired her athletic build. The way she was so unapologetic sexual, her long legs and perfect tits on display with no care for who saw them.

How the hell had she managed to seduce this glamazon of a woman?

As her eyes were tracing the lines of her body, she noticed something under one of Bella’s breasts, what that a tattoo?

“Bitch, you have a tattoo?” The words tumbled out of her mouth, her brain filter still fucked out of commission.

“Huh?” Bella looked over at her on the bed, looking confused, almost as if she had forgotten that Vanjie was still there.

“There?” It took effort to lift her hand and point, her body weak and exhausted.

“Oh, that… Yeah. Got it years ago. Went through a phase, wanted to do something stupid and thought, why not get the infinity sign tattooed underneath my boob… You know, as you do?” She sounded bored. Her whole demeanour changed, but maybe that was just Vanjie reading too much into it.

“Giiiiiiirl,” Vanjie was surprised, it seemed so out of character for someone like Bella to have such a dumb tattoo.

“I know.” She smiled wryly as she stubbed her cigarette and threw it out the window. “So, do you need money?” The change in subject and her business-like tone of voice caught her completely off guard.

“…What?”

“Money? For an Uber?” She slowly went over to a chair and picked up a black satin robe, instantly making Vanjie feel very naked and exposed.

What was going on?

“Why would I need that?”

“We’re on the upper east side and it’s 4 AM, are you really going to walk home in those heels?”

The bitch was kicking her out. Wow. Usually, it was Vanjie doing this to the women she brought home.

“You kicking me out?” She couldn’t help but laugh slightly, almost impressed that this was happening to her and not the other way around.

“Uhm, Yeah? So. You need any cash to get home?”

“Hoe, I got my own money,”

“Right, okay. Uhm… Bye?” And then she walked into the bathroom, clearly indicating that she expected her to be gone when she got back out.

This bitch.

Vanjie got up on shaky legs, chuckling a bit to herself, as she tried to find her clothes, already dreading the fact that she would have to go home with no underwear on.

Seeing her dress and shoes thrown carelessly at the dinner table made her thoughts drift to earlier in the evening, and how Bella had taken her apart right there.

Fuck. She could feel herself get wet all over again.

She heard the shower start, as she put on her clothes, realising that she would probably have to get a move on.

Seeing a notepad on the table, she quickly got an idea.

I had fun. Call me if you wanna try for eight. - V

202-555-0174

She quickly got out of the apartment, fishing her phone out of her bag and dialling a number that she knew all too well.

“Bitch, you best be getting ready to spend all you money on lipsticks, cause I just got laid by the lesbian club goddess!”

They were all sitting in groups. Nina realised that there were a time and place to make all her employees mingle, and tonight was not the night. So she let it slide, as she chose to sit next to the Khiel’s girl, knowing that she probably played favourite with them, seeing as her best friend worked there.

“So apparently, I have been stealing Vanjie’s Monday morning croissants for months?” Brooke looked confused at all of them, as she stabbed one of the tomatoes on her plate.

“Holy shit, that’s you?” Nina had dealt with Vanjie’s supposed croissant thief for a couple of months. A matter that wasn’t really her problem, but something she chose to deal with because she found the small woman hilarious, her outbursts so ridiculous, that they were like watching live comedy.

“Nina! See! I told you, it wasn’t me! I told you!” Katya knocked her hand loudly on the table, her eyes wide with indignation.

“Vanjie came and yelled in my office about a blonde bitch from Khiel’s and you seemed like the obvious choice.” Nina shrugged happily biting into a fry, as Katya gasped at her.

“Mama, I am offended and shocked that you would hear the words ‘blonde’ and ‘bitch’ and not think of Miss Hytes first.”

“Ob-fucking-jection!” Brooke’s indignant voice was paired with a surprised look on her face, as she turned and slapped Katya on the shoulder, the older blonde laughing at her.

“One, Katya… Really hon, are you? And Brooke, I’m going to deny that. I love you, but you’re a bitch.” Brooke placed a hand over her heart as she huffed, trying to play the victim even though she knew that Nina was right. She could be a bit of a bitch.

“Barbara please, I am an upstanding citizen, I would never steal someone’s croissant - now Miss Hytes over here, that’s a whole different matter,” The signature wheezing laughter followed, as Katya bumped her shoulder playfully into the other blonde’s shoulder

“How can I steal someone’s croissant, if I am paying for it with my own money? I mean, where’s the proof? Where are the witnesses of this supposed crime?” She looked at both of them, and at Shuga, Chad and Detox who had all listened to their conversation in quiet amusement.

“Bitch…”

“Here we fucking go again…”

“I hate that you know so many lawyers”

As the whole table erupted into loud laughter, Brooke frowned down at her salad.

“No more than I do,” Nina heard Brooke’s muttering, the annoyed tone making her worried.

Two tables over all the Mac Girls were huddled together, comparing their rooms, trying to figure out who had gotten the sweeter deal

“So how’s it going with the Ice Queen?” A’keria cackled as she asked, still not over the fact that Vanjie had been the one to get the Icy blonde as her companion for the weekend. Just her luck.

“She the croissant stealer,” Vanjie muttered as she took a sip of the wine in front of her

“What?” Silky was almost yelling, not giving a damn that her mouth was full.

“I said, she the good damn croissant thief!” Vanjie’s voice was louder than a steam train, which was thankfully drowned out by the laughs over at Brooke’s table.

“You’re kiddin’!”

They had all had to deal with Vanjie’s yelling every Monday morning because some blonde woman always seemed to get the last fresh croissant at the corner Starbucks.

Vanjie didn’t care that she could buy them at literally any other coffee shop - she wanted it from that one.

“Nope… She that hoe,” she shook her head, as she gulped down the last of her wine. “But you know what, bitch said something that got me thinkin’. How come Liam ain’t ever save one for me? He there every Monday, he sees it happening. Why ain’t he helping a hoe out?”

“Oh, so she one of them clever bitches, since she got you to change your mind” Silky had to admire any person, that could manage to get an angry Vanjie to see reason, as she was more stubborn than a bull.

“Yeah, used all fancy words and shit.”

“She’s also hot,” A’keria’s waggling eyebrows and Silky’s smirk made Vanjie roll her eyes. Those two hoes, always trying to set her up ever since they found out that she was a lesbian.

“Sure, if you into that uptight lady thing, you know me, I like my women more down and dirty,” Though she had to admit that Brooke was hot in a suburb wine mom kinda way.

“You like them blondes tho,”

That she did. Especially if they had a dominating streak, stupid infinity tattoos and a love for the number seven.

She hadn’t called.

Not that she had expected her to. To be honest, it seemed like a long shot. But still, it had felt like they had something, a connection.

“Look happy, you workin’ bitch.” Vanjie quickly stuffed her phone down the drawer with all their makeup samples, putting on her best “Hi, I work in retail” smile.

“Yeah, I know, Silk.”

“You still sighin’ over that blonde? Honey, she was pretty, but you need to move on, it’s been weeks.” She bumped into her shoulder, on her way to restock their lipsticks.

Honestly, what was it with those white hoes and Russian Red?

“If someone gave you seven orgasms in one night, you would’ve been sighin’ too!”

“Seven?” Silky looked at her over her glasses, looking more shook than the day she learned that you could get twinkies fried in cookie dough.

“Se-ven, Mary. I swear I couldn’t feel my toes or fingers for like two hours after,” Vanjie wiggled her fingers at her while smirking.

“That just seems excessive, also you nasty!” Silky shook her head, laughing at her friend’s antics, as she sat on one of the makeup chairs swirling back and forth.

“You just jealous,”

“You’re fucking right I am. Ain’t no dick in the goddamn universe that could give me seven orgasms"

“So lemme get this straight, yo skinny white ass don’t eat carbs during the week?” Vanjie yelled from the bedroom as Brooke laid the finishing touches on her nightly skincare routine.

Brooke loved her routine. It was therapeutic and calming. Something she took great joy in doing, as it gave her time to really relax. A feeling she didn’t let herself experience that often.

“I’m 33-years-old, hon. This body won’t stay slim if I eat pastries every day,” Brooke needed to look her best. It was imperative to every single aspect of her life that she always presented herself as beautiful - something to be admired and something to aspire to.

Out on one of the single beds, Vanjie was scrolling through her phone, liking everything and anything that she came across on Instagram.

“I don’t think that’s gon’ be a problem, mama.” She muttered, hoping that the older woman wouldn’t hear, afraid that she would notice the way Vanjie had admired her after they came back to their room.

“What?”

“I said, I think you’re overreacting,”

Nice save, Vanj.

“Nope, I’m just realistic,” Brooke came out of the bathroom, her hair falling in soft waves down her shoulders, the large round glasses gone from their usual spot, as she was getting ready to go to bed.

“You look mighty familiar, Mama,” There was just something about her that Vanjie recognised from somewhere else. Though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

“We work together?” Brooke shrugged as she walked towards her bed.

“No, it ain’t that. I just- Holy fuck,” Vanjie dropped her phone. Staring at Brooke with a mixture of surprise, awe and… Anger?

“What? Is there something on my face? I know that I look weird without glasses and makeup,” Brooke started touching her face to see if she had some leftover cream on her chin or something.

“You’re Bella.” The name made her heart stop.

“What?”

“You’re Bella. Holy Shit,” Brooke went pale, as she tried to figure out how she had fucked up that badly.

How hadn’t she seen it before? Looking closer at Vanjie, she could see it now. Maybe it was the absence of alcohol in her blood that had made it difficult to remember. But now she saw it.

Vanessa.

Fuck.

“What. The. Fuck? You been hiding right down at Khiel’s all this time?” Vanjie’s tiny fists were clenched as she looked ready to either bolt up and flee the room or fight Brooke with her bare hands.

“Vanessa… Oh. Shit.” She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to make it all fit inside her head. Vanessa had worked at the same place as her this whole time?

Nina was going to kill her.

“Shit is right, mama. Were you just not going to say anything?” Her steely glare created a knot in Brooke’s stomach, her hands fiddling with the strings of her sleeping shorts, trying to figure out a delicate way, to tell the truth.

“Uhm, I honestly didn’t recognise you?” Judging by the look of anger in Vanjie’s eyes, that hadn’t been it.

“Well, fuck you too, Brooke.” Shaking her head at her, she marched out of their room, the door slammed loudly behind her.

Leaving Brook alone in the room. Sighing as she sat down on the bed.

“Good job, Brooke. Perfect,”

The studio apartment was silent.

After Vanessa had left, Brooke had gone back to the window to smoke some more. Her body was sore and tired, while her mind was quiet.

It wasn’t often that she took anybody home with her, usually following their lead, not wanting to risk him seeing any evidence of her weekend activities.

But there had been something about the tiny brunette. The way she had fit in her arms, how her eyes almost shone in the light from the streetlamps.

She wanted to see her in her home.

Wanted her apartment to be tainted by her.

She wanted to remember the way those thighs had clench around her face as she came when she was sitting at her dinner table.

Wanted to remember the moans and her begging as she sat on her couch watching the news.

And most of all she wanted to remember the way her hair has been splayed all over her pillow as she took her apart on her very own bed.

So they went to her apartment.

A decision she would probably hate in the morning, together with the soreness of her limbs and the headache from the tequila.

But right now, she was happy with that decision.

She walked out into the kitchen to get a glass of water and some preemptive aspirin, before going to bed and that was when she saw it.

A note on her dinner table.

It made her smile

The frantic knocking woke her from her almost slumber on the bed. She wanted to ignore it, she had felt like a chaperone for 40 teenagers today, and she just needed to sleep.

“Nina, please!”

Except, when it’s your best friend who apparently decides that midnight is an appropriate time to need her.

She so wanted to ignore the door but knew she couldn’t. So she dragged her body from the bed, and opened the door, not caring that she was wearing her big Lion King nightshirt, Brooke had seen it countless of times anyway.

The moment she opened the door, Brooke stormed in not saying a word and immediately began pacing back and forth in her room.

Nina rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up a bit, knowing that breakdown from Brooke could take ages to solve - especially if it had anything to do with Patrick.

“She hates me,” Brooke muttered as she kept on walking the length of Nina’s hotel room, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do.

“Who? Oh… Vanjie? Because of the croissants? Give her some credit, B,” Nina was tired, a tiny bit drunk on wine and really not in the mood to suffer one of her best friend’s neurotic breakdowns.

“She thinks I’m a total bitch.” She ran a hand over her face, her voice high pitched and worried.

“Honey, I hate to be the bearer of ill news. But you are a bitch.“ Nina shrugged.

It was one of the many reasons she loved Brooke - she was so unapologetic in everything she did. It often translated into bitchiness, but it was a breath of fresh air, to know a person that was always frank with you.

"I know, but it’s not all that I am. You don’t understand. Nina. Please just give me another room.” She was talking fast, her hands curled into fists as she walked back and forth, her nervous energy making her appear fragile.

“Why does she think that though, what could you possibly-” Nina added it all up in her head and knew.

She just knew.

“No… Brooke, please tell me that you didn’t…” She hoped that she was wrong. That her intuition was off just this once.

But the way Brooke stopped pacing and looked at her apologetic told her everything she needed to know.

“You fucked her?” The minuscule nod knocked the air out of her. “Brooke, what did I tell you? What was my one rule?”

Such an easy rule.

“Don’t fuck anyone from the floor,” She was looking down at the carpet, somehow managing to look like a child getting scolded by her mother.

“And what did you do?” Nina felt a bit like her mother, trying to make reprimand her. It wasn’t because there were actual rules against fraternising with your colleagues on the floor.

But Nina knew how Brooke worked.

“I fucked someone from the floor,”

“Brooke Lynn Isabelle Hytes…” Nina buried her head in her hands, wishing that she could go ten minutes back before Brooke had barged into her room with a frantic look in her eyes.

“Though technically I fucked first and then she became part of the floor, so I didn’t actuall-“

“I hate that your ex is a lawyer.” She did. She really did.

Brooke was too good at finding technicalities and holes in any rule, agreement or pact. It was an advantage if she was on your team, but a pain in the ass if she was working against you.

“Will you just shut the fuck up about Patrick? Please, can I get one moment without him in my goddamn life?” Brooke’s voice cracked at the end of the sentence, her face pained.

The outburst stunned Nina. It had been ages since Brooke had last complained about the man that had once been a big part of their friendship.

Was that why she was so tense?

“Sorry, babe.” She got up from the bed and slowly walked towards her. Trying to gauge if this was a hugging moment or an “if you touch me I will hit you” situation - with Brooke those two were almost identical.

“No. I’m the one who’s sorry. Just… Can we get me a new room?” Her voice was low, pleading with her to forgive her and help her.

“Wish I could, but they are all booked,” Placing a hand on her shoulder Nina tried to send Brooke a reassuring smile. Hoping that she could calm her down.

“Well, shit.”

Knowing that it was probably a lost cause.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Miss Hytes is your lucky lady seven?” Vanjie was pacing up and down the hall on the 6th floor. Leaning against the wall was Silky. She looked tired, but also entirely too amused at Vanjie’s predicament.

“Silk, don’t talk so loud,” The brunette hissed, trying to make her understand that this information needed to be kept on the down-low.

“But… Didn’t you say her name was Bella?” Vanjie gave her a nod in confirmation before she turned to restart her pacing “Damn… Lil uptight white missy is a regular player. Gotta admit, didn’t think that skinny bitch had it in her.” Her laugh echoed through the hall, as she tried to make the glass wearing ice queen fit with

“Focus, Mary!!” She clapped at Silky, needing her advice right about now.

“Vanj, come on. Did you expect that a woman with those glasses and that perfect bun, would be your sex goddess from the club? Cause I sure as shit didn’t.” Neither had Vanjie. She was still in shock that the lady who stole her croissant was also the same woman who had sexually ruined her for anyone else.

“Well, no… But that ain’t important. What am I ‘sposed to do? We be rooming together,” she was almost vibrating with the nervous energy, her eyes wide as she looked almost pleadingly at Silky, hoping that her best friend could help her.

“You gonna fuck her?”

“No! Yes. I don’t know?” It was the only thing she had been able to think about. Her mind wasn’t sure, but her body had been tingling with anticipation ever since she had laid eyes on Bella.

Fuck. Brooke.

“Boo, she came back around, like a motherfucking doughnut! If you ain’t gonna pick that glazed bitch up and eat her, then you dumber than I thought.”

“I should have called Kiki,” she would’ve hit Vanjie over the head, told her to stop thinking with her pussy and then send her on her way.

“But you didn’t, which means…. you gonna fuck her?” Silky shimmied her shoulders, her eyes filled with mirth as she looked expectantly at her.

“I…”

She didn’t know.

She opened the door with trepidation, not sure if she wanted it to be empty or not.

As the room was blissfully silent, she felt a whiff of disappointment in her stomach, clearly having hoped subconsciously that Vanjie would’ve been there.

Brooke walked over to her bed. Almost collapsing onto it.

She felt idiotic that she hadn’t immediately recognised her. She remembered that night, no she cherished it. The thought Vanessa’s moans and screams were intoxicating and had helped her get off countless times in the last couple of weeks.

Maybe she just didn’t want to remember her? Afraid of what might happen.

She had seen the number that Vanessa had left on a scrap of paper that night. Had even programmed it into her phone with the fantastical notion of maybe texting her.

Flirting with the thought of seducing her once again, knowing that she never would.

Because she couldn’t.

She wasn’t in the position to start seeing someone regularly, not even if it was just for sex. That was why she had a whole routine, and why she had sent Vanessa on her way in the middle of the night.

It was easier to never get too close to anyone. It would only end in hurt when she inevitably had to break it off.

The door opened and in stepped Vanessa. She looked almost determined.

She closed the door behind her, locking it in the process. Her back rested against it.

She seemed filled to the brink with nervous energy. Her foot tapping against the carpet and her eyes never settling on a single spot for more than a few seconds at a time.

Oh.

She was horny.

Brooke had her rules, had her carefully planned routines, and boundaries. But really, when had it ever hurt anyone to fuck their way out of trouble? This situation couldn’t possibly get any worse, so why not to do what she did best, and fuck the pain away?

Brooke felt herself grin, as she got up from her bed, sauntering towards Vanessa. Feeling like a lioness stalking its prey.

She knew they needed to talk, but they might as well do that after an orgasm.

Vanessa’s eyes were following her every move, her lips slightly parted, breath stuck somewhere in her throat.

No makeup, a pair of sleeping shorts and a white top, and yet, she was still the sexiest woman that Vanjie had ever laid her eyes on.

It wasn’t fair.

Knowing that Bella and Brooke were one and the same was intoxicating. As she came closer, she could feel herself getting wet, the excitement blooming low in her stomach.

She knew they needed to talk.

But she had masturbated to the thought of that night for weeks. Knowing that the woman who was capable of giving her seven orgasms in one night was within her reach made all thought of adult conversation leave her mind.

Stopping two inches from her, Brooke leaned down, her hair cascading over Vanjie, the soft locks lightly touching her chin.

“Eight?” The whisper made her knees weak, but at the same time also cautious.

“Bitch, you want me to die? Ain’t no way I could come that much, I nearly had permanent nerve damage after the last tim-“ a long pale finger was placed against her lips, effectively shutting her up, her eyes wide.

“I meant as in - you’ve had seven, ready for number eight?” The smirk on her lips coupled with the devious look in her eyes made her happy that she had a wall to lean against. “But I’m honoured you have such trust in my ability.”

Leaning down once more, her lips started trailing down her neck. The touch feather-light. Making it hard for Vanjie to think.

“Mama. You hot as motherfucking sin. You’re a-a walking glamazon with short nails, a lesbian dreamboat, how can I not?” Her fingers were inching their way under her shirt, making her gasp as they came in contact with her skin.

“Lesbian dreamboat, huh?” The word was whispered directly into her ear, as her fingers reached the underside of her breasts.

And stayed there.

Waiting for an answer.

“You know you sex on legs, don’t be playin’” Vanjie clenched her thighs together, leaning her head back. Wanting to beg, but the words lodged somewhere deep in her throat.

“Okay then. Here or on the bed?” A kiss was placed on the corner of her mouth, making her head spin. The softness of those lips something she had fantasised about for weeks.

“I-I…” the words just wouldn’t come out.

Brooke chuckled lightly at her.

“Here it is, then”.

And suddenly she was all over her.

Her hands pushed Vanjie’s sleeping shirt over her head, gasping as the colder air hit her nipples.

Vanjie’s lips were captured in a bruising kiss, not so much a fight for control, but rather her handing it over to Brooke.

Pinching one of Vanjie’s nipples, she drew a moan out of her, as her lips slowly trailed down her neck and then right down the middle of her cleavage.

Her knees softly hit the carpeted floor as her hands started pulling on the lacy underwear.

“Imma get real mad if you rip these, too.” The breathy voice made Brooke’s hands stop, the fabric caught on Vanjie’s hips.

“How mad?” The calculated look in Brooke’s eyes as she looked from the lace in the front of her and back up at her, made Vanjie realise that this woman was dangerous.

“Bitch…”

“I’ll be good,” the declaration was underlined with a sweet kiss on her hip.

Dangerous.

“Baby, you ain’t ever been good a whole day in your life,”

“You’re right” and then she ripped the lace, the room silent for a moment, as she looked challenging at Vanjie, daring her to get angry. Daring her to do anything. “I’ve been great every day of my life,”

“Bi-oh fuck,”

Before she even got the word out, her lips were on her. Licking, tasting and sucking. She hummed and moaned, the vibrations making Vanjie’s knees weak and unsteady.

Without taking a break, Brooke’s hands first slowly pushed one knee over her shoulder, which was quickly followed by the other.

So very dangerous.

Vanjie’s moans filled the room, Brooke’s tongue unrelenting as it thrust into her, while her hands were grabbing her thighs in a bruising hold.

She was close.

The sheer demonstration of power, the expertise of her tongue and the slight pain from her hands were sinful, Vanjie’s whole body floating on a cloud of ecstasy.

As Brooke lavished attention on her clit, Vanjie felt herself get closer. Her body building up to something that felt almost too big, too scary.

This fucking woman.

“Ah… Ah.” Her hands were holding onto Brooke’s locks, though she had difficulty in figuring out if she wanted her closer or further away.

She felt like she was getting ready to jump off a cliff without knowing how close the ground was.

“I’m- I’m-“ her moans were getting louder, probably waking their neighbours.

And then her teeth softly, almost like a feather, grazed that tight nub of nerves and she was gone.

Falling off that cliff, her heart seemed to beat in double time, her muscles all contracted as wave upon wave of agonising pleasure hit her.

For a moment the world seemed to turn white before it exploded into a firework of colours.

Without her really knowing how, Brooke slowly lowered her down to the floor, her legs gliding off her shoulders, as she peppered kisses all over Vanjie.

None of them cared that they left sticky marks behind, nor did they notice that Brooke’s lips tasted of Vanjie as she softly kissed her.

“Holy fuck,” she whispered, feeling a small smile against her lips. “Fuck babe, did you even come?”

“Oh, Vanessa. We’re not even close to being finished,”

So very fucking dangerous.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #group fic #lesbian au #department store au #smut #fluff #beauty in the sheets #thankyoumissvanjie #tw power dynamics

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emily-charles · 4 years

Text

My last nightmare: (January 10th, 2020)

(None of this is well-written or thought-out. There’s probably typos, or errors, but I wrote it out because my nightmares suck, and I was told once to record them. I wrote it out, still half asleep.) So I'm a black woman, with this amazing, springy, short curly hair. Personally, as a white gal, I'm not used to it, and I keep playing with it. It sounds stupid, but I've never been given that opportunity before. I'm beautiful (from my point of view, but 'I'/she doesn't think so as much). She is actually really soul crushing about how mean she is to herself. It hurts me to hear others think that way about themselves. But I know I do it too some days. She's stunning, but she thinks she's plain. 'Nothing much', as 'she' puts it. But that line between reality and the dream fade, and I'm her now. I'm a black, lesbian woman, who's dating and living with a Latina woman, named Marie. She has this beautiful skin. It looks like dark honey and feels like silk, and I know every inch of her body. Her long, straight hair, it almost reaches her waist, and she's been growing it out for years. She told me so. A whole history between us, and I don't know where it came from, but I love her and I know it. I met her at a local bar. Just by a single glance. A 'save me' glance. I'd never been a 'love at first sight' kinda gal, but I fell in love with her the minute she smiled at me, and twisted away from some 'I bet I can make you like dick' dude. I had come up to monitor the issue as it seemed this beautiful chick was getting harassed. I walked over, straightened my shoulders to give off a more powerful vibe, and threw my arm around her, smiled sweetly at her, and said, "Is this idiot being a douche canoe?" She leaned over, and kissed me abruptly. The men hooted and hollered, then she turned around, grabbed his beer from his hand, and poured it over his fucking head. We both got kicked out of the bar, but I'd never laughed so hard. It was worth it. We spent the rest of the night, chatting in some cheap-ass pizza place, sipping from her 'hidden flask' and sharing a slice of pizza that was basically a quarter of a pizza. She's fucking stunning, she smart, with the sharpest wit I'd ever experienced, and I love her. I love her so much. I'm going to marry her, when the law passes in America, and I know it. She works as an RN at our nearest hospital. She'd moved here for the work (I didn't know nurses had to move to find work? Is that true? I'm still weirded out by this after waking) -- so she meets a bunch of new people, and I'm one of the first she meets just by this bar-experience. I remember everything about her. I remember her name was Marie Anne Juarez. She was disowned by her family when she came out of the closet, and things had been tough for her for a long time. She worked two jobs, and occasionally a part-time gig on top when the other two weren't enough. After she saved up, she put the money into school, rented the tiniest room she could find, and found a better full-time job. Somewhere else with 12-hour shifts, and worked her ass off. She'd felt alone for a long time, but she found her relationships with another tight knit group of LGBTQ through me. When we first met, she was quiet at the beginning of the night-- but sassy as fuck. Once she opened up, I knew those small smirks/grins, and smiles led to sass and funny comments. We were both somewhat sarcastic, and we both giggled over a lot of the same things. When she started her RN career, she worked 16-hours straight, but she never complained (do nurses really work that long?? Like holy shit...). I lived with her later on. I remember her panties. How she liked booty shorts, (my favourites were her black with neon orange elastic) and lace thongs specifically (Easter colors always outside of a handful of black pairs). How pink and this mustard yellow were her favourite colours. They matched her skin tone, nearly black eyes, and dark hair. I remember where the window in our bedroom was. Our queen-sized bed. I remember that she always blow-dried her hair straight even though it was wavy to curly. How much she loved the 'natural' look when it came to make-up except for liner and mascara. Maybe that's a nurse thing. No time for anything else. One night I came home from work, made a quickie stupid dinner because I beat her home, and she didn't show. The police called me, and said she was at X-hospital. God forbid I remember what hospital it was in my dream. I went immediately. They wouldn't let me see her, even though I was her 'emergency contact'. They said, "Only family." And I wasn't 'family'. I was her fucking girlfriend. And even if I was her fianceé, I was female, and oh my gosh, the scandal! Even though her family hadn't talked to her in years -- and no 'family' would be coming to visit -- I had to wait outside. I wasn't allowed to see her. When she finally walked out she was wearing hospital clothing -- they'd taken her clothing as 'evidence'. She told me everything then. In a quiet voice, and without seemingly to stop and breathe -- all at once, and just once, she told me everything. All while avoiding my gaze, and refusing my touch -- I can’t hold her hand, I can’t brush too close, or make direct eye contact with her. She had been walking, in her scrubs to her car to the employee parking lot (all under video surveillance), and was sexually assaulted as she was unlocking her car. He raped her between her car, and the car parked next to her. When she tried to resist, he strangled her, and smashed and dragged her face across the concrete. She had bruises around her neck, stitches along her brow and side of her cheek, and butterfly tape across her nose. She told me what happened, and after that -- she refused to speak of it again. She told me that she just needed time. She was given 'leave' from the hospital for 'health reasons' and she stared at the wall or muted television most of the time. I never questioned her, but I begged her to talk to me sometimes. After awhile, when she let me, I held her. I spooned her, and she didn't flinch from my touch; she just clutched me tighter. Enough to leave half-moon marks in the tops of my hand from her nails. And sobbed occasionally. She dry-heaved occasionally, or went on benders trying to clean everything. Anything to dismiss the memory, I suppose.

I would have to stop her at 3AM from doing the dishes. Clutching her to me, and dragging her into my lap to get her to stop, and she would get angry and burst out crying. Or sometimes she just hiccupped and stared at nothing. Sometimes she struggled to get away so she could keep cleaning. I kept us afloat. I knew she was going through bad shit. I was there. I saw it first hand. Tucked in bed with her, fully clothed -- this wasn't the time to ask questions. Just be there for her, and do what I can. I just wanted to glue all the broken pieces back together. I still had to work, and leave her alone all day to keep us afloat, and I hated leaving her. I would text her throughout the day, reminding her how much I loved her. How amazing she was. I came home two months after the assault, and the sink was on. I could hear it through the thin walls of our small house while I was unlocking and pushing open the door of our side entrance. The sink was running full blast, and I was so confused. The sink was overfilling. Did she fall into a depression sleep while doing the dishes? There was water all over the floor. I yelled her name, and stepped forward to turn off the tap but never got to it. Our kitchen was small. A small island of grey/white/black splatters that matched the surrounding counters. But as I stepped in, keeping my sneakers on to avoid the water, I noticed the water had a weird amber/brown rust colour to it the closer to the sink I got. I stepped in further, and saw her. Laying flat. On the ground. She was still in her scrubs even though she hadn’t been to work in months. She said they were comfortable and reminded her of a better time. They were blue. At least... mostly. But the water... the thin layer of water around her was brown. Reddish brown. It was only then, I noticed she was injured. A angry red slice splitting her skin goes from the inside of elbow straight to the palm of her hand. A paring knife was nearby her other hand. The water has collected around her. It must've been hot or warm at one point -- but it's still running now, and absolutely ice cold now, and her lips are a bluish tinge. I pulled myself away from my inner thoughts, scream her name, and fall on my knees in the murky water. My thoughts aren't clear. I shake her -- reach to check for a pulse -- and there's nothing. I can't find a pulse. I see movies all the time where they say to put your fingers, but I can't find it. I scream in her face to wake up. I scream her name. I'm not at all ashamed to say I pimp slapped the hell out of her while screaming, "WAKE UP!" Nothing worked in the first literal ten seconds -- so I ended up calling 9-1-1. No idea how I grabbed, or dialed my cell phone, but it happened. I scream for an ambulance, say someone's dying, and give the address. I shouted her name, leaning over her chest to listen. A rattle, a wheeze.... Anything. I take a breath to try calm myself so I can hear over the sound of my blood rushing in my ears, and try again. I tie the nearest tea towel around her arm as tight as I can. I tell her she’s not allowed to leave. I tell her I love her. I tell her to wake up. I tell her I won’t let her leave. For some reason the whole experience is as slow as quicksand. Slowly sucking the everything out of you before drowning you. I slap Marie again like she owes me money -- like I'm actually angry and not terrified. Then I straddle her hips and push on her diaphragm, and ribs together. I keep screaming at her, and there's wetness on my face. I think it's either from the floor, or I'm crying. She briefly smiles despite the pain I must be causing her, and even though she tries to open her eyes -- they open sluggishly, and the lower part of her eyes show. White and the dark bluish-grey ring of her dark like night eyes. She mutters, "Love you. Sorry." Then her eyes and lungs close. I have heard the goddamn death rattle, and I've ignored it. The water surrounding us looks like it had been soaking in a bath-bomb made of a brick. I am focused and pressing on her chest, and I hear her exhale with each push, but aside from that, I hear nothing except the sink still running that I’ve forgotten to turn off. I have to breathe into her in order to get her chest to inflate. The EMTs come out of nowhere. I am shoved away abruptly -- I am furious, delerious, fighting them -- trying to keep the rhythm of her heart and lungs -- but I am pulled away by two cops after that. It appears 9-1-1 sends cops with the ambulance no matter where they go. I struggle against them, I yell things like, "She's asthmatic! Allergic to cats, cashews, peanuts, but we don't keep that shit in our house!" The cops take me with them to the hospital in the backseat like some bad guy, clothes and hands still drenched and soaked in her blood and the dirty water. I'm not allowed to ride in the ambulance with her. I'm asked so many questions, but I'm not "family". Even though I'm her emergency contact, I can't do anything. The triage nurses insist on me waiting in the waiting room. No one seems to listen to me. They tell me to wait. I'm not allowed in. I'm not 'family’. I wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. When the doctor comes out, his face gives everything away with a gentle shake of his head. I burst into tears, and I start telling him, "No. NO. No, no, no," before he can say anything. I wake up, and I'm crying in my sleep.

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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years

Text

14x13 (300th) Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giu)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

“Dad’s on a hunting trip-

[shuts laptop]

Giu: It’s already a no from me

uuugh ok [opens laptop]

“-and he hasn’t been home in a few days “

Zee: That’s when I fell in love

Kat : I fell in love at “easy tiger”

Nat: He looks like a demon

Giu: he does

sign under the register: your baby daddy sitting in jail? Sell your gold and get bail.

wow.

S: we are looking for the good stuff.

me searching for men

Kat : I need that wad of money, And the man attached to it

Giu: SAM

Zee : So done

Nat: Dean's done

Kat : That was so Jared lol

D.”No you didn’t”

Kat: Oh shit Dean. All sexy business

Giu: They not happy

Kat : FIRE

Giu: NOT THE HAIR NOT THE HAIR

[pauses video] TUMMY! [presses play again]

Giu: HE’S A BIG BOY

Zee : Turn his back to dean?

Nat&Kat: They always talk too much

Nat: he stole my line

Nat: PLAGIARISM

Nat: don't put that in

Giu: I’m gonna put that in

Nat: no

The smoke coming out the gun tho. I love that gun.

Zee : Put that down dean

Giu: Dean don’t touch things

In what goddamn dystopian fantasy a theater in 2019 show Beetlejuice? because I wanna live there.

Giu: I want that jacket. Doesn’t it look like the family business jacket?

Zee : I want that car,with everything in it

Giu: ...AND ON IT

Nat: I want that man

Giu: lol it’s like the Winchesters are some sort of the mean girls of town.

The Campbell brothers are scary. They have two shotguns and a strange silver blade.

I hear the tall one hair's insured for $.

I hear the other one has a tinder account. His favorite music can be heard from miles before coming into town.

One time, they met god. And he stayed at their house. One time, they killed Hitler. It was awesome.

Kat : I WANT THE MEN

-” The Campbell brothers “ [sobs]

D:”Make it double”

Oh look the Family Business stuff again

S:” John Wayne Gacy cigar box”

uh that’s not good.

“Jack and Cass are out with Jules and her crew. When they’re back they can help us cataloging “ [already excited]

D:” aWeSoME”

- “Where did they even came from? them or their weird sidekick with the trench coat”

I love how before the boy Eliot talked about hearing stuff from the trunk of the car and I did not even bat an eye, because.....yeah...probably happened more than once.

Giu&Kat: Dumb bambi look

- Max:” It doesn’t mean they kidnapped bigfoot or whatever “

that could have happened too .

How did I miss all this gay vibes between the girls before?

Giu: anyway that is unrealistic, those girls would be drooling after those two.

Nat: Nah, they're too old for them

me at myself editing the commentary: they lesbian, bitch .

Nat: Max is trouble, isn't she

Kat: Don’t touch my baby’s car teen bitch

Zee : Why is sam so hot here?

Nat: BABY

- D;” No,no, no, no”

Zee : Oh the bitch did

Giu: THEY DED

Giu: DON T MOVE YESSIR

-S *thinks of the kids*

D: “Swear to God if anything happens to that car-” *thinks murder*

Giu: Meanwhile dean is having panic attacks

Nat&Giu&Kat: I don't wanna die. lol

Giu: TRIPLE PLAGIARISM

Kat: Stop Omg

Nat: We should stop

Zee : Look at those puppy eyes

- “So you want me to give you an underage girl’s address?”

Nat: hahahahahahhahahahahaha i like that woman

D:”Marta, how’s that grandson of yours?”

“if you could help us out I would, I would really appreciate it”

“Please”

Zee : I’d melt

Kat: THAT TAP

Nat: I mean...helloooooo

Giu: There goes her values

Nat: I would tell him everything and more

Zee : Giuls the hand gif. Please and thank you

- you want my address too?

Kat: He’s putting the moves

Kat: Their lips are extra pink

-Yeah but like...I would have melt with Sam too honestly.

SKIP DAY! aaaah the memories, we had skip days once a month.

Giu: OH NO

Zee : They dumb

Giu: i wouldn’t touch that creepy fuck teddy bears

Giu: can I slap some sense in those bitches

Giu: GACY FUCK NO

Nat: Baby, please tell me you're not hurt

Kat: BABY BABY

D: “ FBI everybody out”

me : ....arrest me.

Giu: Sam: no fuck clown

Kat: Serial killer clown

Nat: Sammy, I think you need to get away

Kat: Best and worst thing ever

- D:” ‘Cause you love serial killers but you hate clowns”

eh same .

Zee : look how happy he is

D:” Sam....today”

Kat: HURRRY UP SAMMEH

D: “....Hey! “

Nat: Dean Bean

Kat: Adorable bean

Zee: We’re damn good at why we do

Nat: They're going all dad on them

Kat: It’s hot

- S:” You sure don’t wanna call Mom here? or Cass?”

D:” No because if it works , great, if not, why get their hopes up?”

Zee : Hello

Nat: JOHN

Kat: SHIT SHIT. SHIT Kicking their asses lol

Giu: My eyes are sweating

Nat: I got Negan vibes lol

? : “Don’t you move”

[chills]

Zee : That’s another Daddy

Giu: HE LOOKS GOOD

J: “What in the hell”

J: “Sammy, aren’t you supposed to be in Palo Alto?”

Nat: Palo Alto. Oh god.

Giu: Good god [sobs]

J: “What happened to you?” when did you stretch like that

Nat: It's 2003

Kat: It’s very difficult

J:”You saved the world?”

Zee : More than once

Giu: We died....more than once

Zee : Look at that precious face

D:”I think he’d be real happy to know you are finally here”

- Glad they mentioned Henry, I miss him.

S:” We are legacies because of you”

J.” I just wish that I had been there to see it”

Nat: Awww the look on Sammy

Nat: It fucking breaks my heart alright

D:”Non of this would have happened without you”

J:” It’s good, it’s fine. I went out taking out yellow eyes. That was the point. Get the thing that killed Mom”

Giu: im not ready for what.’s coming

Zee : Me neither

Kat: So much sobbing

Nat: What are you talking about. I'm not ready for the whole damn episode

Giu: STOP WITH THE MUSIC

Zee : Brace yourselves

- J [desperately softly]:” ...Mary?”

Giu: OH NO FUCKING JDM

Nat: Oh god NO

Zee : Oh fuck you

Giu: FUCK MY LIFE. FREAKING ACTING SKILLS.

Nat: FUCK OFF

Zee : IM SCREAMING HERE

Nat: THE BOYS...lol

D:” I’m freaking out”

No Dean, I’m freaking out. And I already know, looking at Sam face, what’s coming.

Nat: "I wanted this man"

D:” I wanted this since I was 4 years old”

I CAN T

Zee: One family dinner

Nat: NO DEAN BEAN PLEASE Sammy is right

Kat: He is but it hurts. So much

Nat: TAKE A KNIFE AND STAB ME

oH....Sammy and Daddy time. Can I skip?

Look at John fucking face!! he’s already so proud.

S:” Dean and I tried to make that once” [nervous laughter]

[John’s face falls]

Zee : Here come regrets

J:”i...I remember “

Sam’s like...”you do?”

J: “ I screwed up with you a lot, didn’t I?”

The noise and expression and breathing Jared choose to made here is worth more than any words

Nat: GOD, SAM YOU PRECIOUS BEAN

S:” no, that’s okay”

J:”No, it’s not”

[me bathing into the holy light of jesus] yeeeees thank you

Sam looks so uncomfortable.

J: “You didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left”

ooooh John is trying so hard tho.

S: “..Dad...” [pauses like he can’t believe he can say that again]

me hitting myself : stop doing this to yourself bitch.

S: “ yeah...you know what? you did some messed up things”

S: “When I think about you....and I think about you a lot..[voice cracks]”

S:”I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye”

Giu: fuck NOPE I’M OUT

Kat: *drags you back*

Giu: *fights it*

Zee: I’ll tie you down bitch just watch

Kat: I can’t i can’t I can’t

Giu: JARED STOP

Nat: FUCK JARED WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD

Nat: JARED STAHP

Kat: JARED IS INCREDIBLE

J: “Sam....[touches him]”

S: [gets almost scared when John touches him]

and now a change of camera so you can see more hurt

Nat: FUCK THIS I'M GOING OUT WITH YOU GIULS

Kat: I’ll tie you down

Zee: Can this fucking music just stop

Giu: CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME MERCY? it’s 8:40am it’s too early for this

Kat: FUCK YOU JARED PADALECKI

Giu: STOP CRYIG

Giu: ahahahaahahhahahahaahah imma have a heart attack

Nat: SHIT NO FUCK THIS

Giu: Im forgetting english and spelling

J: “Son...I am so sorry”

Zee: That’s enough

Nat: YOU FOUGHT FOR US THAT'S ENOUGH

Giu: CLOSURE

Nat: what's english i'll start to groan in german soon

Zee: I’ll swear in Greek

Giu: I’m already gesturing in italian anyway

S:”Want some company?”

Nat: I get the booze you get the food, I want that bumper sticker

Nat: Why doesn't he remember?What the fuck is happening

Giu: The surnaaaame

Kat: YOU’LL SEE THE SHIT IT HAPPENING

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Blue steel

Nat: BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Giu: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Never forget

Nat: WANNA BE TED TALK

Nat: PROFESSOR JARED

Giu: GOD BLESS KALE (Misha wrote that)

Kat: THE TURTLENECK

hot take: that’s Misha’s turtle neck

Nat: THE GLASSES

D:”No, no , it gets worse”

TEDTalk!Sam is an empty shell. I hate it.

Kat: THE SLICKED BACK HAIR

Giu: Lotta beheadings

Zee : Can Jared stop being hotter in this ep?

D:”Well, I’m cool but you are ugh”

Giu: I saw enough doctor who to know what is Sam talking about.

S:” If all is different, then what else changed”

Giu: OH.

Zee : Oh no

Nat: Zach is also ugh

Giu: NO GO AWAY

Giu: HEY BABE

- GUESS WHO NEVER FOUGHT IN HELL AND RAISED SOME SALTY ASS FROM PERDITION???

Z:”Earth ...where you are always stepping in something”

I mean, he’s not wrong

Zee: Constantine

Nat&Zee: I don't understand that reference

Giu: SDEFAFANSBAKWBLENDP

Zee : Control yourself woman

D:”How are we gonna tell Dad?”

S: “How are we gonna tell Mom”

Nat: Why are the teens everywhere are they running out of extras? I can be an extra.... for love scenes

Zee : I can be a fly in the wall

Z:”I need to know who’s been messing with time?” like...I mess with time, that’s my thing, who’s stealing my job

Giu: SQUINTY BOY

Z:”This town is always been a little muddy for us”

Z:” he...murders you all”

Kat: Ugh I want to stab Zach in the face

oh jfc Cass is a fucking murder machine,kinda like the apocalypse world NO

Nat: Zach, just shut the fuck up, will ya

Zee: I’m an angel of the lord AAAAAAHHHHHH

Zee : GIULS IM DEAD

Giu: IS IT BAD THAT IM AROUSED

Kat: WINGS

Giu: FUCK

Zee: THE ONLY LOGICAL OUTCOME. Babe how dare you ?

D:”Cass? “

C: who’s this bright soul , oh no he’s hot.

D:”Cass, you know us”

C: I WISH.

C: “I don’t know you”

Kat: I DONT KNOW YOU

Nat: Ow...a stab in the heart

Giu: NO

Kat : Breaking my heart

- Oh look you can pin point the exact moment HIS heart breaks.

D:” Cass, don’t”

Giu: LAGO DI GARDA!!

Nat: THE GARDA LAKE? IS THAT AN EXPRESSION?

Giu: No , it’s where i live.

- The satisfaction of seeing Sam kill Zach. Sam enjoying it.

Kat: YAS SAMMEH

Nat: Cas, come on!

- I love that Sam is holding the blade to cut and not stab.

ok ok...honestly I’m enjoying this ok? in the sense that I missed seeing Castiel so strong and powerful , and this is as it should be. He’s an angel , a soldier, with eons of wars behind, he was a captain ffs, the Winchester, they can be as strong as you want but they are human. Even Zach was stronger than them, he was just stupid to fall for Sam trick.

Giu: PLEASE DON’T KILL THEM

Giu: please don’t kill Cass, please don’t kill Cass.

Kat: Dudes the bloopers from this scene will be epic

Nat: I SWEAR IF THEY DON'T SHOW IT

Giu: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

D:”Cass, Cass, stop it”

....bitch HE HESITATED , Cass hesitated , he just kept Dean there when he could have just snaps his neck with a bit of pressure.

Zee : Sammy to the rescue

Giu: OH THANK GOD

Us: We want Bamf Castiel back!

Writers: OK

Us: NOT LIKE THIS

Zee: Who needs a heart?

oh look, those plates have the same decorations as the cups we saw in older eps. WHY DO I KNOW THAT.

D:”Egghead”

Nat: me vs. your mom that's not even a choice

Giu: JOHN

Zee : Mary is showing emotion

Nat: I know who i would chose

yeah ok...I would choose this John tho, not the one we started in 2005 .

Zee : Me too

Kat: I almost don’t hate her. She’s hurting so bad. But everything else would be fucked

M:” Sam I can’t”

me too Mary, me too.

Nat: that's the thing. she's hurting more about her husband than her boys

Kat: I said almost

-J:” I never meant for this”

Kat: No son

J: “My fight. It was supposed to end with me. With Yellow eyes”

Giu: AGAIN

J:” But now you- you are a grown man and I’m incredibly proud of you”

Zee : Look how proud

Nat&Giu: JOHN, STAY

Kat: He’s waited so long to hear hat

Nat: LET SAM BE INTERNET FAMOUS

J:” I guess that I hoped, eventually,you would...get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family.”

Zee&Giu : I have a family

Nat&Kat: WE EAT

Nat: A man after my taste

Giu: AND MY POOR HEART

Zee : Too much silence

Kat: #awkward

Nat: #sad

Giu: #The last supper

Zee : Stahp

Kat: SHUT UP BITCH

J:” We can be grateful for this time we have together.”

Kat: #AMEN

Nat: sounds like AYE MEN

Giu: ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT

Kat: Fucking Bob Seger

Giu: THEY DESERVE ALL OF THIS,ALL OF IT . MY BABIES

Kat: I WANNA KNOW THE CONVO

Nat: #DOMESTIC LIFE

S: “It doesn’t feel right to have all of this and have to throw it away and I know we have to.” S:” He just goes back to...to..being Dad”

-Oh honey

Giu: Sam is panicking

Nat: Who would save the world tho

S:” I think it would be nice”

D:” yeah? I used to think that too.”

D:”For the longest time I blamed Dad. I mean I blamed Mom too,you know. I was angry”

D: “Why don’t send him further back , and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world?

oh...OH Dean is woke

D:” But there’s the problem. Who does that makes us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I’ve got to be honest. I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.”

D:”I’m good with who I am,and I’m good with who you are”

Zee : Does anybody else experiencing chest pain??

Nat: What's a chest. I can't feel anything below my mouth

Giu: what s a mouth

Kat: #too old for this shit

D:”Cause our life, they are ours”

Kat: BAWLING

Kat: THIS FUCKING MUSIC

M: “I hate this”

Giu: WE HATE THIS

Zee&Kat: My girl

-NOOOOOO

J:”I miss you so damn much”

Nat: #make it stop

Nat: fuck this

Kat: NONONONONONONONONONONO I

Giu: STOP IT STOOOOP

Nat: JARED CONTROL YOUR FACE

Kat: THEY BOTH NEED TO

Zee : Fuck this flips table

-What a soft hug omg I can’t. Why is John so soft , whyyyyyy.

Giu: I WANNA DIE

Nat: FUCK THIS

-Dean’s eyes are dead , he’s trying to be emotionless and I can’t deal with it.

Also Sam keeps throwing glances at Dean and it breaks me.

John looking at his sons is PAAAAIN.

J:” You two. You take care of each other”

S: “We always do”

Can I say that I expected some “Yes Sir” here and there and I’m so glad that there were none? Like...yes they grow up and they are their own men and I’m so damn glad. I would have hated if I heard them saying that.

Kat: GOOD TO SEE YOU DAD

Dean said that so softly I can’t

Nat: OMG

Giu: JARED FUCK

Zee : I’m gonna faint

Nat&Kat: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS

Giu: JDM FUCK U TOO

Nat: FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU

This ....Jared you fucking broke me here, you just ...can’t go and act like this and expect me to still be breathing .

Giu: JAY DON’T

Goddammit Dean still looks like he doesn’t wan’t to break but ...I can see it, your lips are shaking damn you Jensen.

Oh no here comes the hug of pain.

J:”I love you both so much”

why is Sam crying so much this season , JARED !

-oH NO DEAN SAID IT....DEAN SAID I LOVE YOU , I CAN’T , 911 HELP I CAN’T BREATHE

Nat: HEY, FUCK THIS SHIT I'M GONE

I’m so sick of seeing tears ok? And seeing John so emotional??? NAAAAAH FUCK THAT, I saw those tears falling . FUCK U

NOT THE WINK

Zee : Can they all fuck the fuck off???

J:”Sammy...”

Kat: JENSEN FUCK YOU JARED FUCK YOU JDM FUCK YOU

Nat: TAKE MARY WITH YOU

Giu: dean your face

Kat: JENSEN BROKE ME

Dean looked like a little scared kid there and he just broke me once again.

Nat: THIS IS NOT RIGHT AND THEY KNOW IT THE WRITERS KNOW IT I HATE THIS SO MUCH

Kat: Yeah but that one look. Fuck

ok Now....I wanted to make this gif so badly because it haunted me. This....This is when Sam break the pearl. The sound looks like it hit Dean like a bullet or something and I just ....look at him it looks like he wants to scream, his lips seems like they are spelling a soundless ‘NO’ or he just let go, because he wasn’t breathing until the sound ....I need a minute, I’m gonna throw up my breakfast.

Bye John , I’ll miss you fiercely

aaaaand Dean looks like he’s dead again.

Nat: HEY GIULS Lebanon walk.

Nat I’m dead what do you want me to do? Call me if there is a ghost walk of Lebanon-

Also YAAAAAAS THOSE TWO ARE THE CUTEST

Nat&Kat&Giu: CAS

Sam looks relieved

Kat: OF FUCK THIS

Nat: Look at that phone

Giu: OMG NO

Nat&Zee&Kat: One hell of a dream

Kat: So much plagiarism

Zee : This music NEEDS to stop

Nat: NO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS

Giu: THE FUCK

Zee : Can we have a “fuck” count ?

Nat: aWWWW...jACK

Nat: WTF JACK

Giu: Jack honey dont

Kat: WHAT ARE THE DOING TO BABY BEAN

Zee: March 7???

Nat: Yeah no

Writers: heya! we are gonna give you some sweet stuff for the 300th, y’all gonna hate it so much.

after credits brainstorm

Nat: SO GET THIS Did John remember? Did John know that the boys are happy and he spends the last of his days thinking about how he could get rid of Michael? Giu: What what . Oh fuck I sure hope so Nat: He saw that the boys were happy, that Mary came back. That's all he wanted . That's why it wasn't hard for him to let go and make the deal. Zee: I soooooo don’t need this rn Giu: im on board. Because he said that he had the strangest dream right? So since their life are fucked up anyway , what hurt could it make to look that shit up? Nat: He will remember but it's more like a vivid dream and he will do anything to fight for them so that's why it wasn't hard for him at all to save Dean, even though he can't defeat YED. Because he knows that his boys will save the world. And still live. with an angel and lucifer's child.

.I have no word , and no answer of how I’m feeling right now.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20

#14x13 #spn season 14 #supernatural season 14 #season 14 spoilers #14x13 spoilers #300th #supernatural 300 #spn 300 promo pic #300 supernatural gifs #lebanon spoiler #lebanon

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thecrayreport · 5 years

Text

Three episodes into The Umbrella Academy and I've got a couple things:

1. Ellen Page, a known lesbian, playing a straight character feels... weird? Like, her character is clearly queercoded, and seeing as how there already is a queer character on the show (Klaus is either bi, pan, or gay, I feel), it would naturally fit. Think of it as yet another reason why she was alienated from the group: being a closeted gay surrounded by heteronormativity. It would have been a good angle to take it, but to write it off for a love interest who screams "I'm either evil or a real bad guy" makes less sense.

2. Klaus is honestly my favorite. I remember Robert from "Misfits", and just like I loved him from there, so do I here. He brings to Klaus the perfect amount of energy and heart that makes his situation both heartfelt and heartwrenching. I mean, when Luther suggested that someone in the family had killed Dad? The anguish in his voice and on his face was priceless. You could feel his betrayal at the thought, even if he doesn't really care much about their father (who would lol).

3. Diego might be a little shit but his scene with Mom????? Where are the tissues holy shit

4. I'm going to lay my hands on Five if he doesn't get his shit together lmao

5. Allison and Luther's romantic tension is... how you say... obvious af, but the constant "will they/won't they" is sooo frustrating. We know that they're going to get together, even if they are adopted siblings (ew), so at the very least, try not to make them constantly on the verge of tearing each other's clothes off.

7. Mary J. Blige is in this??? I really didn't think that she was at first but uh she is???

Aaand finally: how in the hell did no one in the family suspect that something was off about Luther?? The dude is built like a mod from The Sims what the actual hell

#the umbrella academy

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ao3feed-spamano · 6 years

Text

Hetalia: Fight for Love

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Cf3ut7

by FluffyHetalianGuitarist

Rosalina Chevalieré couldn't remember a thing at first. But when the stars had called out to their savior, she did. Her name was Jeanne d'Arc, and she had returned with a mission regarding the nations and her love. This is the continuation of their story.

(Written in partnership with someone who doesn't have an ao3- @myasings on tumblr)

Words: 5279, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Spain (Hetalia), South Italy (Hetalia), America (Hetalia), Jeanne d'Arc | Joan of Arc, France (Hetalia), England (Hetalia), Germany (Hetalia), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Denmark (Hetalia), Norway (Hetalia), Canada (Hetalia), Prussia (Hetalia), Belarus (Hetalia), China (Hetalia), North Italy (Hetalia), Greece (Hetalia), Japan (Hetalia), Austria (Hetalia), Hungary (Hetalia), Ireland (Hetalia), Female Ireland (Hetalia)

Relationships: France (Hetalia)/Jeanne d'Arc | Joan of Arc, America/England (Hetalia), Austria/Hungary (Hetalia), Canada/Prussia (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway, Jeanne d'Arc/original female character, France/original female character, Jeanne d'Arc/OC/France, China/Russia (Hetalia), Finland/Sweden (Hetalia), Romano/Spain, South Italy/Spain (Hetalia), Italy Romano/Spain, Greece/Japan (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia)

Additional Tags: Power of Love, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Established Relationship, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Family, Dysfunctional Family, Family Dynamics, Domestic Fluff, Peril, Danger, Universe in Danger, Alternate Universe, there's so much going on in this story ngl, How Do I Tag, there's so much to tag holy shit, Just read, i don't wanna give anything away lmao, Gay, Gay Male Character, Lesbian Character, Bisexual Male Character, Pansexual Character, Bisexuality, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Threesome - F/F/M, No Smut, No Sex, despite what the tags may imply lmao, Cat/Human Hybrids, Cat Ears, there's a neko character, i promise this isn't as mary-sue ish as it sounds, sailor moon-esque themes to some parts, sorta superpowers?, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Cf3ut7

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #hetalia #spamano #aph spain #aph romano #fanfiction

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senor-plume · 6 years

Text

Shovel (A Short Story)

He called his wife on the phone. There was nothing else to do. He had masturbated two times already that day. Not a thing on the television and besides it was raining out. Nothing inside, nothing outside. She picked up and said hello. The second he heard her voice he regretted calling. He could have gone out and stood naked in the freezing rain. He could have swallowed a fist full of sleeping pills and unplugged the phone. He could have tried to get it up one more time and go for three strikes on hid belly. But he didn't. He called his wife and now it was too late to turn back. "How are you doing Marie?" A loud and long sigh came from the other end. He heard her suck in her breath and he braced himself. "Well, you know the guy downstairs is supposed to shovel the walkway. The motherfucker pays less rent than I do because he's supposed to help around this shithole apartment. I got home from work to find that not only was the sidewalk not done but the son of a bitch never got around to the driveway. I had to park on the street with all the other assholes who live on this godforsaken road. So I went to his apartment to find out why nothing had been done. You know me, Vince, you don't want to piss me off! So I go and bang on his damn door. Blam blam blam blam! His wife answers stinking of booze. That lady is fucked up. Do you remember the time she came up to my place when you were over fixing the sink? She started screaming at me to keep the banging down and I was like "listen lady, my fucking husband is over here fixing my sink and if you don't like the fucking sounds you can kiss my big fat clogged up sink of an ass!" Holy shit that was a riot! Anyway, she opens the door and I ask her why her fucking husband has not shoveled the sidewalk and all. I mean he had 24 hours to get the damned job done. Of course, I didn't say that! I just said: "hey, is Frank around? He was supposed to shovel and all." And then, you know what she said to me? You are not going to believe this. She said that Frank cut his fingers while slicing a fucking ham and got 66 stitches on his left hand! I almost shit myself! So, of course, I asked her how he was doing. Just to be human, you know? She said he was in the tub relaxing with a drink. And you know what this means? Don't you? This means that no one is going to shovel the fucking snow! I'm going to be parking on that street for weeks! Jesus Christ. Why me? Of all the places I could be living, I live in this stink-hole place with a sloppy meat cutter as the handyman idiot." "Why don't you call the landlord and let him know the walkway is not being cleared. I'm sure he would want to know."

"What do you think I am? An idiot or something! I called him. Of course, I called him. Jesus! I called him the second I got my boots off. He said that as long as Frank is laid up..that's what he said! Laid up! What a moron! As long as Frank is laid up that maybe I could shovel for a while. He said he would knock off 30 bucks from the rent. The fucking gall of that fat bastard! Who the fuck does he think I am? Some lesbian butch? I told him to cram it. I said he could stick that rickety old shovel up his over used asshole. That's what I said Vince. So help me, that's what I said. He couldn't believe it! He went silent. Then I said, "No way, Jose" and slammed the phone down. I nearly busted the fucking thing! Haha! So, hell, I don't know what to do. Hey, hold on for a sec."

He heard her put the phone down on the table. He knew that table well. He bought it about 5 summers ago at the local Kmart. He carried the damned thing stuck in some cheap box up two flights of stairs in a horrible heat. Dragged it into the kitchen and put it together by himself. Alone. A very big accomplishment for a man who needs instructions for a hammer. This was supposed to be a surprise for Marie. She had been bitching about the old table ever since she had moved in. She came home that night. Put her keys on the table and without even looking at Vince who was sitting in one of the chairs said: "Jesus, Vincent, where the hell did you dig this nightmare up? Kmart?"

But still, to this day the table sat there. In his old apartment. A testament to his failures. He lit a cigarette and as he placed the match in the tray he heard her cough into his ear. Then curse and then, much to his dismay began to speak again.

"My God. I finally got out of my dress. I don't know why the hell I still, wear this ugly old thing you got me. I do know this though, I have to shave my legs. They are getting mighty hairy. Hey, you still like my legs, Vince? You used to go on and on about how much you adored my legs. Back in the early days. Before it all went to shit. Ain't that right Vince? So, you still like them? Do you think about them when you try to fall asleep on that bed of yours? Do you?" "Yeah, I guess I do. I don't know. Sometimes, I guess." "You guess? You guess? What kind of answer is that? Jesus, Vince. You are and always will be a real twit. You know that don't you?"

"Yeah, twit with a capital T."

An hour later they hung up, or actually, she hung up on him. Pissed off about something or other. He stripped out of his sweat soaked shirt and decided to have a beer or two. Topless at the kitchen table, Vince sat with the bottle of Miller and stared out the window. The rain had turned to a very light snow. The street lights were just coming on and soon he would have to get ready for work.

What the fuck happened to me Vince thought. How the hell did I become a third shift jackoff with an insane soon to be ex-wife and a car in danger of being taken away by the bank? It was too much for him apparently as he stood up and with the bottle in his hand, went to the bedroom where he fingered through a stack of books on the floor. In fact, the room was surrounded by books. Like ropes in a boxing ring. All four walls tattooed three feet high with books of every color and size. In no particular order, one could see. He grabbed Albert Camus's 'The Stranger' and flipped through the pages. He put it down and turned around. He put the bottle on the nightstand and walked over to the corner by the window. He kneeled down and searched. After a while, he picked the book he wanted. Terry Anderson's memoir 'Den Of Lions'. He opened the book and found the bent corner and read:

"Prayers in the night hurled fiercely at an absent God; plea's, promises, bargains offered, but no answers."

He picked up a shirt laying on the bed and put it on.

Eating a bologna sandwich alone at work, Vince sat reading the paper. More bad news. Unemployment up. Riots in Germany. Bombs in the Mideast. The president is still a moron and worst of all the paper yanked Doonesbury from the funny pages after a controversial strip. Garfield is not funny, it's downright depressing he thought to himself. What is this world coming to? He gathered up his empty paper plate and coffee mug. Walked over to the garbage can and threw them in. Shit was rumbling. His stomach felt ill, so he headed off towards the men's room.

On his way, he ran into Marcella. She just lifted herself up from the water fountain and spotted him charging down the hall like a moose. "Vince! Hey hey, you, Moose? How are you?" He slowed down. Stopped actually and greeted her in return. "Marcella. Fine. I am fine. Did you hear about Doonesbury? The paper axed it, man." "I know. I read about it this afternoon when I woke up. It's an outrage! It was always the first thing I'd read when I got the dumb old paper. Hey, you in a hurry? Got time to grab a smoke outside? I'm dying for a cigarette."

His bowels churned. Bologna and depression do not mix. His belly was bursting, screaming for relief. And yet, he said: "For you, my friend, of course. I could use a dose of Turkish gold myself. I just ate."

Marcella smiled and pulled at his arm. "Ok then, Mr. Moose, let's go smoke."

Outside they stood on the truck delivery station. Pallets laid around them in the snow among the discarded cigarette butts. Just a sliver of moon hiding behind the clouds made it a dark evening. Or morning. It was around 3 AM and it had stopped snowing. They stood there silently smoking. Vince looked up at the sky. He wanted to see stars but it was impossible. It was too cloudy. "I wish we could see the stars but it's too cloudy." Marcella exhaled a puff of smoke and laughed "What is it with you and the stars? Every time we come out here you always talk about the stars. Just why is that Vinnie?"

Vince flicked his camel into the air. It landed with a suicide grace. He watched it as it slowly went out in the snow. "I don't know. I think I just like things that are far away."

"Interesting Mr. Mooseman. What about me? I'm right next to you. I bet you don't like me, eh?" She smiled and poked her elbow into his side. She laughed. "Well, out with the answer Moosey!"

He stood there silent. He reached into his pocket for another smoke. Lunch break was almost over but there was time for at least one more. He would have to wait two more hours before he could use the bathroom though.

"Marcella, may I ask you a question?" "Sure...why not! It's Friday and I'm in a good mood! But you're not ducking my question are you?" "I'm glad you're in a good mood, Marcella."

He lit the cigarette and put away his lighter. His fingers were getting cold and he wished he had brought his gloves from the car. His head tilted up as his lips opened. "Marcella, do you shovel your own driveway?" She laughed. "No, no. My son does. He's good at it too. Every time it snows, he's on the job! What a silly question, Mr. Moose. Why do you ask?"

He took a drag from his smoke and flicked the half done thing onto the ground. He turned away and began walking back to the building. No reason, he said. Just simply curious.

He opened the door and felt the heat hit him hard. He had a minute left to punch back in. He walked quickly to the time clock. There really was no time to do anything else. --------------------------------

#short story #tumblr writer #tumblr writing

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whitelippedviper · 7 years

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Pop Comics #2: Dark Nights: Metal #1

This article originally appeared on my patreon, which you can subscribe to for as little as one dollar a month. As a patreon subscriber you get to see these and other articles sometimes weeks before everyone else. Subscribe now.

So this is the second installment of my more informal writing series(my, me rambling into an open window on my desktop...series) on popular monthly comics. Each week I pick a comic from the top 10 on Comixology's best seller list, and I read it...and then I come over here and write about it. This week: Dark Nights: Metal #1

Dark Nights: Metal #1 was written by Scott Snyder, penciled by Greg Capullo, inked by Jonath Glapion, colored by FCO Plascencia. It's I guess the start of the new DC event or something. I'm not sure. The issue starts with the JLA in some sort of arena battle scenario on some planet Mongul has taken over. They figure that whole situation out, return home, and there's a giant mountain that has appeared in Gotham. They go into said mountain, see some shit. Cyborg is like "man this shit is some shit, huh?" and then the Blackhawks show up. Which I thought they were like a WWII team or something, but apparently they are like...I don't even know...Batman. And they're run by Kendra Sanders, the I don't know what she is in this continuity but I think she's Hawkgirl or whatever. Or is it Hawkwoman. I don't remember. Probably girl, right? Let's see...it's woman if they are their own hero. Girl if they are a female knock off. But then reverts back to woman if they are a lesbian knock off of a male hero.... I think that's how it works.

Anyways. Kendra Sanders convinces the JLA to come to her secret base to explain how Batman is the vessel of some ancient evil, which is callback to Morrison's Batman RIP ish run stuff after final crisis--which I did read! I vaguely remember some of that. But so they've done all this research on batman, but still just pull guns on him, and so of course he escapes. For some reason he is able to fool the whole JLA who don't think to look for him...at his Bat Cave? I don't know. So batman is at his bat cave like looking at nth metal on his microscope. He finds some journal from carter hall. And just as carter hall is like "look batman, I know you think shit might not be shit, but let me assure you, shit is way fucking the shit" Dream...from Sandman...shows up and is like "Batman, this shit is about to get real(shit)". The end.

And I'm not sure if Dream is now just running around normally in DCU continuity again, or if this is meant to be something like special. Either way, you can see in the above image, Dream has apparently sent his stylist to hell this time. Either way....holy shit. It's a first issue of a superhero comic, and so of course it ends in a splash page shocking reveal cliffhanger at the end. I mean this whole thing is just so by the numbers for how you do event comics it is just hollow. Heroes do a thing seemingly unrelated to the main thing, the big thing happens, it's like multiverse spanning, splash page reveal...the end. Even Capullo's art here looks bored with itself. There's two panels in this comic that I can recommend. One is a small panel of Superman:

The other panel is when Batman is riding a dinosaur, which I still didn't even bother to take a picture of. On the whole, it makes Howard Porter look like JG Jones. And this is supposed to be a big event comic. If all of these event comics are just going to be continuity porn they should at least be a spectacle. I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to take away on any level from a book like this. Even the Variant covers were pretty mailed in. Great artists like JRJR and Jim Lee just kinda drawing a standard superhero pinup and calling it a day. Nothing really on the theme of metal. You get this sexy idea of doing a heavy metal version of a superhero comic, but then it turns out it's nth metal, and that's not really metal at all. Go get Joe Jusko to paint Wonder Woman riding a vampire bat out of a lake of blood. Come on. Metal. It's like the Met Gala where all these stars who have the money to have taste show up completely off theme and completely boring giving us nothing even remotely aspriational. If you asked me why I don't care about superhero comics, this comic is pretty much what I'd conjure up as an example of why. I'm too old to give a shit about which of these palette swaps dies and then is resurrected or what worlds collide. And I don't care about good versus evil in these basic cop versus robber terms. I'm not a child. But like I'm reading JRJR/Williamson and Nocenti's Typhoid Mary comics this week, and thoroughly enjoying them. And it's not because I give a shit about Daredevil. It's because there's actually shit on the page to react to. There's great art to inspire you. And the writing is in big bold terms, but it has a certain soap opera quality. It's not ironic. It just says what it means and is all about these sappy triangles of people. It works. It doesn't matter that it's a superhero comic. It's just a great comic. I think what I want from superhero comics now, doesn't have anything to do with them being superhero comics. It has to do with the two biggest companies putting the most resources behind their comics, I expect to see a quality of work, particularly artistically that I can look at and just be in awe and be like "never in a thousand years could I draw that". I think people don't respect the art in these things anymore because the styles artists have adopted don't scare people, don't put them in awe. And honestly neither does the writing. People read these things and they are just like "oh man, I could do this" which is cool, I mean I'm one of those people. But it's not healthy in terms of the sort of reverence the top artists in the comics game should demand. No one was stepping to Neal Adams or Norm Breyfogle. But I mean, I think it's just a paycheck, and it reads like that--which makes sense, because why would grown adults who have been in the industry for decades in some cases, and who have already written like a million superhero things--past a point, you just get that formula, hit those marks, cash those checks, and try and whittle away on whatever your actual passion is in the background, like the rest of us. But then meanwhile this is the stuff that gets geeks breathless and hyperbolic...and for what. What is all of this for? It's just this cycle of fans pushing up artists until they are gibbering self parodies of themselves, and then dropping them off creator cliff to go die in a ditch somewhere. And these fan groups, what do they do with their shit? Stay in this false dream for as long as they can. Throw a tantrum at anyone who says anything negative or threatening to that dream? Like there's no wrong way to live, all of our lives are meaningless, so value is an illusion. You just do what best makes sense for you to pass the time until you die. But for me, this shit fucks up my hustle, because I'm in this life game to see shit. I want things that at least aspire to be something I haven't seen before. At least TRY to be beautiful. But the demands of these fan things, are so insane, who has time for beauty? And because that's where the money is, it just sucks people in and traps them there until there is nothing left. You see the effects of this stuff at Image where creators are supposedly let loose to do their passion projects, but they've been so warped by working these fan projects, that there's very little truth left to them. And all these big two tics of how to do issue #1 arc #1 and so on and so forth come up and really mar work. It's not just the writing. It happens to artists too. There's like a set way these sort of things get laid out on the page, and certain stock ways you do a scene because you're like double shipping a book and don't have time to really like consider the absolute best way for you as an individual to do a book. So even when artists get outside of that infrastructure, it is usually too late and they are reduced in potential by their habits. I mean I can't be the only one who can open a comic from these sorts of people, and your eyes just glaze over as you see it's just the same thing. It's appropriate that this thing ends with Dream, because this comic is sleepwalking. Like most of the most talented people in comics. Every month you have the opportunity to say one thing to an audience of several thousand. Which is huge for a comic. And you are going to say...what? You are going to show them....what?

#My Writing #Sarah Horrocks #Pop Comics #Dark Nights: Metal

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dykedykegooses · 6 years

Note

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

#grabsthesun #lesbian ask game #i love and hate you

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glitterghast · 7 years

Note

tell me more abt the modern au .... pls

okay so i completely let myself get carried away with this au. like…i need to put it all under a cut so that people don’t wind up with a massive wall of text on their dashboards

so yeah, it’s modern day and a poly au and the best way i can think to describe it all is through dot-points. but essentially, it starts before they all even know each other.

Jenny:

- likes girls and guys, with a slight preference for girls

- wears skinny jeans and oversized hoodies, or pretty dresses and cardigans. no in between

- a nurse at the local hospital, works with patsy

- was dating jimmy before she even knew any of the others

- listen,,, poly jenny/jimmy/alec technically kickstarted the entire poly ship in this au

- meets trixie through some first aid course she was conned into doing at the school

- they kinda danced around their mutual crush for a while before jimmy and alec did the whole “oh yeah why don’t the four of us go out tonight- whoops we suddenly can’t go, guess it’s just you two” kinda thing

- always has to be the first one awake in the morning

- almost always arguing with patsy over how things should be organised. they can never agree

- she swears the most out of everyone

Trixie:

- likes girls and guys equally. bisexual and not afraid to call you out on your bullshit stereotypes

- no change of fashion from canon

- dyes her hair weird colours

- has a history of addiction that she’s almost entirely recovered from by the time she meets everyone else

- works as a kindergarten teacher

- has known cynthia for a year; lived in the apartment across from her and gives her lifts to work

- dated cynthia before they met any of the others, even if they’d never admit they were a couple

- drinks too much coffee

- needs to kiss everyone before she leaves for work

- is okay with clutter as long as the Aesthetic™ of the room isn’t ruined

- has a huge dog called max who she dresses up in baby bonnets and carries everywhere

- loves the dog filter, won’t rest until she can get it to recognise max’s face

- tries to be BFFs with her girlfriends’ mothers

Cynthia:

- aroace. gets defensive when people think it means she just can’t date people

- has that sort of ‘skirts and peter pan blouses’ look, never really wears anything too colourful, always wears stockings despite the weather

- long history of mental illness; has had trixie drive her to therapy on multiple occasions

- works at the local library and bookstore

- volunteers at the parish hall and animal shelter

- (it’s entirely her fault that trixie has max)

- has a therapy cat named mary

- met jenny through trixie. they were kinda awkward for a while but…well this is a poly au so the rest is history

- often winds up the middle of cuddle puddles

- officially dubbed the baby of the group by patsy

- actually gets the angriest out of everyone

- can remember everyone’s routines and eating habits. knows just how each person likes their coffee/tea/hot chocolate and what mug they like it in

- knows how to dupe everyone else in every game ever. mario kart? always knows the shortcuts and always chooses rainbow road. monopoly? always ends up with hotels on every space. uno? somehow manages to have an endless supply of +4 cards

Barbara:

- fluctuates between saying she’s bi and saying she’s pan. has a preference for guys

- wears cute pinafores and overalls, huge collection of socks

- has a huge collection of cacti and succulents, calls them her children

- somehow always manages to have a smudge of dirt somewhere

- likes pineapple on pizza

- works at a cafe in town, knows patsy and delia from how frequently they eat there

- lived with them for a while after her apartment building was scheduled to be knocked down

- effectively the constant third-wheel

- went to school with trixie, had a huge crush on her

- it takes her ages to figure out that trixie’s dating jenny and cynthia (and by this point that relationship is sorta starting to merge with delia and patsy)

- so it actually kinda takes her ages to join the entire relationship herself

- (it’s totally patsy and delia who set her up w/ trixie lbh)

- was kinda scared of max for a while

- tries to be the peacekeeper of the group but it rarely works

- idk whether or not tom exists in this au or not

Patsy:

- trans lesbian

- wears flannel all the time

- “if people can’t tell i’m gay within a second of meeting me, then what’s the point?”

- the only one who doesn’t celebrate christmas, begrudgingly deals with delia going overboard every year

- constantly exhausted but “coffee is for the weak”

- will kill a man if she doesn’t get nine hours of sleep

- delia’s high school sweetheart

- gay matchmaker. are you straight? she’ll find you someone that’ll make you rethink that

- tries to keep everyone else on a schedule, but it never works

- can’t cook for shit

- like seriously she nearly burned the house down trying to boil an egg

- wants to be a writer, can’t find a moment of peace

- A+ comfort-cuddler (needless to say, she’s really bad at seeking comfort when she’s the one who needs it)

- always has a mini first-aid kit on hand (for delia. she’s the only one who ever needs it)

- kicks in her sleep

Delia:

- really fucking gay but i don’t need to tell you that

- legitimately gets offended when people think she could ever like a guy

- deaf. she’s deaf. the most concrete headcanon in this au

- had adhd and a lack of self preservation

- always covered in plasters

- will climb/drink/eat/do anything for money

- an artist, goes from job to job most of the time

- paints on the walls, the ceiling, the banister

- paints on barbara while she sleeps

- once painted the door handle to patsy’s room because she wouldn’t buy milk

- gets drunk and gives herself and/or trixie stick-n-pokes

- takes super long showers, uses the hot water

- totally didn’t mean to send those nudes to you

- steals people’s clothes

Valerie:

- nonbinary

- likes girls exclusively, but has only had boyfriends before (in high school)

- wears horrid 80s fashion (but will always let trixie dress her up)

- plays old video games. she’s really bad at them

- manager at the cafe babs works at

- went to school with cynthia

- join the poly group way later

- starts dating trixie and dates only her for a long while (see: nearly a year) before joining the cuddle puddle and moving in

- she and delia argue about pointless shit a lot

- someone takes their eye off her for a second and she winds up in some small-town jail in scotland

- sleeps in the latest

- takes people on the cutest dates

- rivals trixie for being the neediest affection-wise

so that’s like. the main group. but then you have jimmy and alec who’re dating jenny (and each other) and they’re like…the OG cuddle puddle so i’m gonna include them too even though they don’t move into the same flat like the rest

Jimmy:

- small bi trans guy

- like seriously he used to hold the half-inch he had on jenny over her head, and then they met alec and now he has to come to terms with his shortness

- been dating jenny for like…a while

- they kind of told people they were dating just so they’d stop asking questions but then it just sort of…became a real thing

- they came out to their parents together because they’re kind of inseparable

- met alec through working as a carpenter and was like “holy shit i wanna kiss him but i can’t reach his face”

- eventually they came to the decision that it’d be alright if he kissed alec

- so he did? it was very unexpected for everyone involved

- weirdly enough jimmy’s the start of the poly au

- shares trixie’s love for the dog filter

- has This Look when he wants kisses (it always works)

Alec:

- tall™

- dresses all smart and shit but also has a bunch of hoodies (that jimmy and jenny steal)

- is competitive with jenny over everything: finishing books first, getting through the door quicker, giving jimmy more kisses in a day, putting the most juice in their glass without it spilling over

- doesn’t Get™ snapchat or any other type of social media

- actually really good at drawing

- secret art BFFs with delia

- building inspector; nearly fell through a hole in the ground because he got distracted by jimmy

- likes to see how much she can annoy jenny before she says something

then there’s like. extra characters who aren’t part of this giant fucking cuddle puddle they’re just there (but they’re important i promise you)

phyllis:

- lives in the flat next to the one the girls move into

- a retired nurse

- tries not to be so stern now that she isn’t a nurse anymore

- doesn’t succeed but at least she has a massive soft side

- lives with five cats

- looks after mary sometimes

- doesn’t like max at all

- tries to teach her cats spanish

- the others worried that she’d be super homophobic but she adores the giant gay family that lives next door

- delia’s her favourite, though

- purely because she witnessed her follow patsy barefoot out into the rain, yell “shoe’s are for pussies”, then proceed to climb patsy’s side like a fucking animal and cling to her while the taller girl kept walking

dr. turner:

- still married to shelagh with all their children dw

- works with jenny and patsy at the hospital

- (i still haven’t decided whether shelagh works at the same hospital)

- he’s basically who patsy and jimmy see about hormones n stuff like that

- so in the end he kinda finds out about this huge relationship because how else could two of his patients be dating another nurse at the hospital

- he’s p cool but he’s not really a main part in the au, so i don’t have much of a story for the turner family Whoops

so that's...essentially it?? tl;dr: jenny knows trixie through work, and meets cynthia through trixie. they meet patsy, jimmy and alec through jenny, and through patsy they meet delia and barbara. and then through barbara they meet valerie. dr. turner and shelagh work with jenny and patsy. and phyllis is their next-door neighbour who probably puts up with far too much shit. this entire response is 6-7 pages in a word document. thank you

#jesus christ this is horribly long #home is where the heart is #ctm poly au #call the midwife #hh do i tag the characters or not #jenny lee #trixie franklin #cynthia miller #barbara gilbert #patsy mount #delia busby #valerie dyer #jimmy wilson #alec jesmond #and here's your next telegram #cinderaella

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