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#Magnus is secretly in favor

dayque · 4 months

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Magnus: Blueberry, what did you learn today in your class with uncle Ragnor?

Max: If things get bad, you can always fake your own death for a few years until the dust calms down.

#Magnus is secretly in favor #shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #cassandra clare #cazadores de sombras #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #max lightwood bane #ragnor fell #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #rafael lightwood bane #the inmortal jnstruments

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hanna-lulu · 1 year

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i’ve been comparing the usa now to germany circa the late 1930s and it is not a favorable comparison.

let’s see what we’ve got:

increasing antisemitism

increasing transphobia

increasing ableism

continued oppression of indigenous peoples

laws being introduced to ban gender-affirming care and remove children from their homes if they are allowed to live as they wish

books being banned for having honest and age-appropriate portrayals of race/racism and queerness/homophobia

pushing maid (medical assistance in dying) on people with disabilities and even people who are just poor (this is more in canada but i’m including it here anyway)

a right wing that is seen as ridiculous and absurd, yet is somehow still managing to hold onto power while liberals/leftists laugh it off as if they’ll run out of steam

it’s important to note that in the 1930s, when hitler came to power, the international community thought he was a joke. his overblown rhetoric was silly, his history was laughable, and nobody took him seriously. they thought it would all blow over. also, he wasn’t saying anything that a lot of people didn’t secretly agree with. antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and racism were widespread throughout europe and the usa, and a lot of people had less of a problem with what he was saying and more with how he was saying it. (think kanye west’s antisemitic comments, which joe rogan did attempt to stop him from making so blatantly, but didn’t actually disagree with.)

the first medical and educational facility for gender affirming care was in berlin. did you know that? the institut für sexualwissenschaft (known variably in english as institute of sex research, institute of/for sexology, or institute for the science of sexuality) was founded in 1919 and headed by magnus hirschfeld, who was both gay and jewish. he helped build a library in the institute that was dedicated to the topics of gender, eroticism, and same-sex love. the research undertaken there regarded sexual health of all people, gay, transgender, and intersex, as well as counseling and treatment for alcoholism, gynecological issues, venereal diseases, contraceptives, and more. sexual reassignment surgeries were performed successfully there. the goal was to help those who were suffering because they could not live as who they truly were and to educate the common people, because people fear what they see as different, what they cannot understand.

you won’t find the books in that library today. they were burned as part of the nazis’ campaign of terror and censorship. in 1933, 6 years before world war 2 officially broke out, the institut was broken into and looted by the deutsche studentenschaft (aka the german student union). young adults who had spent their formative years surrounded by hateful rhetoric were accompanied by a brass band as they destroyed this oasis of understanding and knowledge. hirschfeld himself had fled germany years before, as he had been targeted numerous times by nationalists/far right “activists”.

berlin once had a thriving queer community. germany was a home to many jews, my own great-grandparents included. my great-grandmother’s younger brother had a learning disability. their home turned on them out of fear and ignorance, the people told by their leaders that other human beings were not really human, but degenerate filth. my great-grandparents escaped with their lives. many– my great-grandma’s brother included– did not.

the concentration camps that imprisoned and killed so many jewish, queer, and/or disabled people (as well as romani and political prisoners, and japanese-americans IN THE USA) are not consigned to the past. our prison system disenfranchises those who are placed in it and uses them for unpaid labor. refugees are caged for daring to hope that our country– the so-called “land of the free”– would take them in when their homes turned on them. indigenous people are ridiculed and attacked for wanting to help our planet heal and for asking to conserve the land that was stolen from their ancestors. almost a hundred years since the holocaust, and we still haven’t learned.

don’t look away from this. it’s not going to blow over. those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and we are already experiencing a resurgence of fascist beliefs and rhetoric.

write to your representatives. VOTE. protest if and when you can. show them that we are HERE and we refuse to be written out of the history books, banned or burned away. we are human beings. we live and love and deserve to do so with dignity.

and if appealing to your humanity isn’t enough, remember this poetic version of a quote by german lutheran pastor martin niemöller, an early nazi collaborator and antisemite who later changed his views and opposed hitler’s oppressive regime:

“first they came for the socialists, and i did not speak out–

because i was not a socialist.

then they came for the trade unionists, and i did not speak out–

because i was not a trade unionist.

then they came for the jews, and i did not speak out–

because i was not a jew.

then they came for me– and there was no one left to speak for me.”

there is always another enemy in fascism. anyone who is different will eventually be a target. white supremacy is poison, and fitting the mold of a “perfect citizen” cannot keep you safe. queer infighting and pushing down people who you find “too weird” will not stop the people who hate all of us. to the far right, we are all wrong to our very cores. solidarity in the face of oppression is the only way to survive, live, and thrive.

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licncourt · 6 months

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pls elaborate on your latest post??? it's so interesting

Of course!! I think about it a normal amount. For sure.

Basically I just think that's it's very interesting how both Louis and Lestat get the Bad Woman/slutTM treatment in regards to their turnings throughout the books, especially as AR starts to get Weirder about things. We all know that blood drinking = sex, and in context that translates to Lestat’s turning being a sexual assault and Louis' turning being kind of an impulsive, drunken hook-up.

In TotBT, that's a very gross and Bad scene where Lestat and David make pointed comments about how Good, Strong Vampires are made by force (raped) and how that builds character basically. The only other vampire who's involved in all this is Louis, so obviously the implication is that he's morally and mentally weak for asking for and consenting to turning (sex).

With the turning = sex comparison and how weird AR is about being misogynistic (????) towards Louis at every opportunity anyway (my complaints about that here), you get a very distinct image of Louis as the stereotype of the slut who didn't keep her legs, a loose woman basically, which is especially interesting given his background as a Catholic. In this scene he's disparaged but later on, he kind of receives a "punishment" for it.

I think his mind controlled turning of Merrick and romantic relationship with her (both things he's very upset by to the point of contributing to his suicide attempt) mirror the societal idea that "a whore gets what she has coming" eventually and, like in the book Merrick, those voyeurs (AR) sort of revel in it. At the very least it's seen as expected or fair. Even if it wasn't intended this way, I can't help linking the two.

As for Lestat, you get a different story that takes a little longer to come to fruition. The initial "rape" by Magnus is handled in a very sympathetic manner. Magnus is a predator who seeks out beautiful blonde boys and attacks them, and Lestat was innocent in this, stolen from his bed by a monster and violated.

This changes later though, the narrative shifting in Magnus' favor with Lestat saying things like his turning was a "gift" before things come to a head in RoA. In this book, AR actually says through Lestat that he was "asking for it" and that he "seduced Magnus", ostensibly by flaunting his looks and talent on stage and seeking attention. Essentially, it's framed as if he was tempting fate somehow, and Magnus' abduction was the natural result, something he secretly wanted even.

Later in the book, he goes so far as to kiss Magnus, lauding him as an almost divine creature rather than the monster he'd always been described as. That kiss between them feels reminiscent of a hypersexual trauma response, a victim coping by idealizing their abuser, but AR frames it as Lestat’s realization that he was indeed "asking for it" and could accept that now and be grateful. Gross.

As awful and the implications of these things are because of the lack of irony and self awareness (thanks Anne), it really adds to the richness of Louis and Lestat as narrative foils, really two sides of the same coin in so many ways. Like I said in my original post, Louis the Whore Opened Her Legs and Lestat the Slut Who Was Asking For It. Neither of them can win in the world AR created that mirrors our own.

Louis and Lestat both have very prominent aspects of female coding (my thoughts on Louis' here, but this one is maybe the most interesting to me.

#i'm not even going to begin to wonder what anne must have had going on in her personal life to create this monstrosity #answered #vc #interview with the vampire #the vampire chronicles #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #meta

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ao3feed-jonmartin · 15 days

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The Monster in the Lighthouse

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/hAMTDeO by CozyDenizen Climbing through the last of the steep hills, Jon finally saw his mark. There, on the edge of a rocky cliff, the lighthouse stood as a beacon through the thick fog, lighting the way for sailors making their way to the coast. Unbeknownst to it, it would also be lighting the way for Jon to finally uproot its secrets. It's been months since Jon was forcibly taken off this case. He had been putting the pieces together regarding four missing persons who all had ties to each other, when Elias suddenly ordered Jon to abandon his research. Obviously, he’d been researching it secretly ever since. And now, he’s at the epicenter of it. Every victim found their way here, one way or another. - Jon works for The Magnus Institute; an institute that studies, researches, and sometimes hunts down monsters. When Elias mysteriously tells Jon to halt a case, Jon decides to find out for himself what happened to those victims. His curiosity leads him to a secluded lighthouse - and the monster who mans it. Words: 1652, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus, Peter Lukas Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus/Peter Lukas Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Vampire, No Fear Entities (The Magnus Archives), Or at least they only manifest in monsters, no rituals or apocolypses, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending, Vampires, Human/Vampire Relationship, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sex-Favorable Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, They're cis. This time., Not Beta Read, Do Not Archive (The Magnus Archives), Biting, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Mildly Dubious Consent, But they talk about it a lot beforehand, just wanna put that tag there since its horny vampire venom, Vampire Bites, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Bottom Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Top Martin Blackwood, Alternate Universe - Monster Hunters, Monster Hunter Tim, My First Fanfic, Vampire Martin Blackwood, Human Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/hAMTDeO

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #tma #jonmartin #jmart #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin fanfic

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swanno-arts · 9 months

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smacks table. bbb WALL-E AU designs n what nots!!

more under the cut!!

1Y-OVKA [Probe 01 Call Sign Y - Organism, Vegetation and Karyokinesis Assessor]

2nd protag to the AU! 1Y-OVKA, humanized name Iyovka, is an OVKA probe sent to evaluate and retrieve live specimen on Earth. Iyovka follows his directive to a T, but since every other of his mission returns negative, Iyovka's mission on Earth is more of a "very discreet disposal" of him by orders of Axiom superior, Matvey. Iyovka was meant to be left on Earth, but after the help of a certain bot, Iyovka signals to be picked up, carrying a positive live specimen back to the Axiom.

Turns out the strange Antonin bot he encountered on Earth SOMEHOW followed him all the way back? Shenanigans, Chaos, Romance and Angst ensues.

Captain Magnus Solomakhin

Captain on deck! Captain Magnus is the Axiom's 6th (and last) captain - being son to late Captain Vsevolod. Magnus is a newly appointed captain, only on duty for 2 years. He's young and naive but kind and has a cheery outlook of life. Magnus is overly dependant on the autopilot to do everything, letting him to just do morning announcements and spend his time on the computer or laze around on his hover chair. After learning about Operation Recolonize and Earth, Magnus demands that they return to Earth immediately...

But the autopilot had other plans. A fight ensues. It was a 700 year old directive, or humanity's fate. Even after he considers Matvey like his own big brother...

M/ATVE-Y [Manual/Autopilot Technology for Voyage and Expedition - Call Sign Y]

M/ATVE-Y, humanized name Matvey, is the Solomakhins' and Buy N' Large's magnum opus of an AI. Created as the autopilot to the Axiom, Matvey is the true captain and ruler to the ship. On top of being created with limited sentience, Matvey secretly receives Directive A-113, do not return to Earth and ever since he does all he can to uphold that.

During Vsevolod's days, Matvey finds himself having a secondary function as a babysitter (and honestly, a foster) for the young Magnus. Matvey... enjoyed taking care of the little child. It was the little sentience he had. He genuinely cared for the young kid's well-being, all the way to his young adult life as a new captain.

You'd imagine how both of them would feel having to brawl with each other over clashing orders.

...and some more bots!!!:

VON-EL [Voyage Operational and Networking - Executive Level]

VON-EL, humanized name Vonel, is a gopher bot and the Axiom's head of security and operationals. Vonel leads the stewards and works directly under Matvey's orders, despite his surprisingly short stature. Vonel aids Matvey in upholding Directive A-113, but only because he is programmed to follow Matvey's orders - not because he was aware of what the full scale of A-113 was. He wasn't fully aware what he was doing was mutiny against Captain Magnus.

Poor lad. He just wanted to assist Matvey in the brawl against the captain, but out he flew off the window and straight into the concrete floor. Ka-Blam!

Two misc. bots!

M.O [Microbe Obliterator] Unit 130

Unit 130, humanized name Boris, is a cleaner bot usually stationed in the Loading Dock. He's a diligent cleaner, but the job gets boring often and he tends to zone out whenever he's doing his work. Boris breaks routine after this strange bot came back with a whopping 100% foreign contaminent. God, his tracks are everywhere! Well, he's not escaping this bot's determination to get everything clean.

Even chasing him down all the way to the garbage bay and lodging himself on the airlock door? Apparently!

SECUR-T Unit A-5

Unit A-5, humanized name Askali, is one of the many steward bots on the Axiom. Askali is curiously a lot more sentient of a steward bot than the rest of her kind - and fully acts as if she is similar to VON-EL, taking charge of the stewards stationed in the same kiosk as hers. She is favored by Matvey to deal with any issues due to this attitude and she takes a personal pride to that.

Askali's last stand is when she and the stewards hold off the rogue robots. She survives getting a scrub on the face by a M.O unit and a high charge shock by a D-FIB unit, but eventually meets her match with the frenzied HAN-S unit, Behelmus.

---

rotates around. theyre FUN to design. im sooo normal about these robots

some parts of the au is different than the canon version for adjustment but!! not TOO much!! hehe

#swanno arts #digital art #original character #oc #au #alternate universe #wall-e au #RAAGHH i wanted to do the other defective bots but thats for later <3

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authorspirit · 5 months

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Graham Lambert

Genius, creative, insider.

City Native.

Mermaid.

First of the pair of gen 4 Lambert twins, Graham Lambert is the son of Jay and Sydney Lambert. He is a cousin of Arthur and Alexander Sapphire but is closer to the latter. He is also close to his Ito cousins Emery and Magnus. But the family member he is the closest to is undeniably his twin sister, the one he wouldn't get out of his shell without. He's pretty shy and daydreams a lot, so his sister keeps him grounded and with us.

He might be dense or just too full of himself without saying so, but Graham always had a favorable opinion coming from the generation of his parents. Considered the genius of the family, his parents were supportive of all his activities and would always give him the attention he wanted. But that was at the cost of his sister not getting enough. She doesn't blame him - she would never, she loves her brother and she also loves her parents. But it's undeniable that this created a gap between them. This gap widened when her sister often found herself feeling sick in the morning and had unpredictable mood swings. Graham always knew the existence of Melody's boyfriend and the fact she would meet up with him secretly at some parties organized by university students. Though he knows she was cautious, he begged her to take a pregnancy test on the day of their common birthday and the test turned out positive. While his sister's life was taking an unexpected turn, Graham felt his own was also shaken to the core. He actually had imagined the next five years with his sister at uni, enjoying life together and being the best friends ever. Those thoughts were definitely selfish but he felt sad that Melody would not be by his side for the next step of his life. He was not prepared for that, it was not in the plans. What would he do without her now? Was he ready to explore the world without the one he always counted on?

#sapphire intros*#presentations #my sims #sapphire plus*

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inklingofadream · 1 year

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Ink's 2022 Fic

It’s that time of year again! …. Almost a month late, because I was doing family stuff and also my brain and body strive every moment to defeat me. It’s time for a new pinned post listing out every single fic I published in 2022, for your reading (or rereading) enjoyment. To the followers who joined me in 2022, welcome!

According to my AO3 Stats, I posted 81,996 words of fic last year. That’s a 29% increase from last year. What the hell! It was spread over 22 distinct works.

This post lists out everything I wrote, with descriptions that are somewhere between synopsis, liner notes, and sometimes an excerpt. Most of what I wrote was for TMA, but since that’s my most popular stuff I’m listing it last/under the cut. Wordcount and relationships (romantic or platonic, healthy or not) are listed, but check the AO3 tags, warnings, and notes, as I won’t be including the content warnings here.

Star Trek: Lower Decks

Midnight Outing- 1.9k, complete, Boimler/Mariner/Jennifer; So this was one of my mutual gift fics last Christmas, and I actually ended up watching the entire series specifically to write it because it was what Ash was super into at the time lol. When ST:LD was announced I thought it was a lame idea (mostly because I’m immensely picky about animation art styles, I’ve dismissed… a lot… of shows because I didn’t love the art and ended up watching for one reason or another and been proven wrong). It was fun to watch, though! Though in a vacuum I would NOT have watched as fast as I did, the whole series in like a day and a half.

Malevolent

it seems a tiny miracle- 12.4k, WIP, Arthur & Faroe; finally, all my Shirley Temple knowledge comes in handy! Seriously, though, I’ve been so pleased with the reaction to this fic- I’ve been secretly observing every chance I get to see my baby cousins/run kids arts and crafts/etc to use for my characterization of Faroe and Little Archive!Jon.

The Locked Tomb

Ortus the Ninth- 1.3k, complete; Honestly I was SHOCKED that no one did this concept before. I know Ortus isn’t the most exciting character, but I feel like him being in the same position as the girls but even weirder, because he REMEMBERS what it was like to have peers and now he doesn’t even have one same-age archnemesis like Gideon and Harrow do has SO much weird depth to explore. Go read this, I had to hash out the meter in the Noniad to write it and it was a PAIN

The Magnus Archives

Jon and Gerry’s Fairy Tale- 7.3k, complete, Jon & Eric Delano, Gerry & Eric; This fic is an au of nature has taught her creatures to hate, but like… probably you could read it without if you’re just real hard up for dad!Eric fics. Or bb!Jon fics. This is probably my favorite of the fics I wrote various mutuals for Christmas last year, because I love bb!Jon and I especially love when he goes through a lot and comes out being brave and adorable.

your head caught flame (kissed your scalp, caressed your brain)- 2.3k, complete; Ah, the bad ending au to the cult au…. Had to have something to balance out the birdverse good(ish) ending au! Writing Desolation stuff isn’t my forte, but it was a fun experiment.

Dishonor- 4.3k, complete; Alternate POV for sutton’s lovely Stag Story. Writing Elias getting his karmic just deserts is always delicious.

Favor for a Friend- 1k, complete, Daisy & Jon; This was probably my fastest turnaround ever from “idea I had because I was half-conscious trying to fall asleep” to completed fic ever. Hopefully I captured the chills the idea gave me when I had it, idk.

A Different Archive- 1.4k, complete; I’m really proud of this one. It was for the TMA Minor Character Exchange and the prompts I got to fill were for characters I wasn’t really into, but the epistolary idea got me really excited for it when I came up with it. I do still have a half-finished Mike Crew character study I started first floating around my drafts, though.

Your Heart into my Chest- 9k, complete, onesided Martin/Jon; My other fastest turnaround, I was so obsessed with Sutton’s vampire februwhump fic that I HAD to expound on it and give Jon a little rescue. My favorite bit of lore that hasn’t really been picked up much, either in comments or sutton’s later additions, is that I was careful to imply that Martin’s father and the vampire who sires him are the same person. I never decided whether he was a vampire when he met Martin’s mother, how consensual their relationship started out… but if he was a vampire when Martin was conceived then that DOES make Martin his universe’s Renesmee. You’re welcome, I guess!

The Archivist and the Adventurer- 9 works, 24k, complete, Jon/Martin; I FINISHED MY FAE AU THIS YEAR! It took AGES, but I finally brought the whole story to the end! This is the thing I’m proudest of finishing this year.

and now i am a cereal girl- 2.5k, complete, Jon & Martin; My favorite thing about this fic is that it gave me a chance to mine my favorite song from when I was 3 for fic titles :)

10 In the Bed- fanart, complete; This is on AO3 mainly because it’s the only birdverse thing I uploaded this year :( I have 2 different drafts! Hopefully at least one comes out this year!

sitting pretty on the throne, nothing more i want (except to be alone)- 113k, WIP, Beholding/Jon; the origin point for the aforementioned birdverse! Honestly, that’s probably my favorite thing to come out of the little ol’ cult au this year- most of my favorite scenes either happened in 2021 or are yet to come! Stealing Dracula’s cowboy was fun, but as a writer it just can’t compete to the whump I got to do before or the reunions yet to come! I was really happy with the little farewell to Tim and Danny, though

Dreams and Recovery- 3.9k, complete; Sutton’s The Mage of the Castle and the Mage of the Cavern has been bouncing around the inside of my skull since it was published. I have wayyyy more that I’d like to potentially do in that verse, but I was happy to finish this. The little bits of worldbuilding are a ball to fiddle with Also has one of my favorite sentences I wrote this year

Good things do not happen to Jonathan Sims anymore, but for a frozen, quavering moment he's suspended in the hope that Jonah will be there to smooth the worried creases from his brow and kiss him the rest of the way to wakefulness.

Little Archive-45.9k, WIP, Jon & Beholding; Baby Jon!!! And his best friends gerry and the eye. This might be the year i make myself my own little little archive jon + eye plush doll. I think about him all the time

Beneath the Stains of Time- 41k, WIP, Jon & Daisy; Just edging Jon up through every conceivable age group. In the coming year, teen!Jon is going to get to Go To School! He’s gonna have… well, not friends. He’s not very good at socializing. But peers! And escape attempts! And if we’re very lucky, we’ll reach the point in the flashback where he resigns himself to living with Daisy and the point in the present day where Martin realizes something is Very Wrong

in his hand the fire of Jove- 15k, WIP, Jon/Martin; This fic is like… 80% inspired by that scene in Peter Pan where Captain Hook traps Tinkerbell in the empty lantern. Jon is tinkerbell in this analogy. It’s been on a longer-than-planned hiatus bc of life/brain things, but it’ll be back soon!

#the magnus archives #tma #the locked tomb #tlt #star trek lower decks #malevolent #malevolent podcast #ortus nigenad #jon/martin #mariner/boimler/jennifer #faroe lester #daisy tonner #daisy kidnapping jon agenda #tma fic #ink post #ink writing #ink fic

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uselessalexis165 · 2 years

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I never did make a reference model for Ice Glare, so after all this time I finally made a proper design for him!

For a reminder, Ice Glare is Lilang Bituin’s sire. And I’m now realizing he’s also the only one whose reference model is facing a different direction.

———

Bio:

Name: Ice Glare

Nicknames: Icy (by family), Sweetspark (by conjux), Sire (by sparklings)

Age: Adult

Height: 15ft

Gender: Male

Preferred Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Straight

Alt mode: Mostly relates to Blurr’s Cybertronian model with a slight mix of Ultra Magnus’s Cybertronian model

Items: No items on him, due to working at a desk job

Abilities: None, due to his desk job

Fraction: Autobot, Elite Guard Intelligence Division

Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

Personality: Always seen as serious bot during work. Even his stare seemed to always have that stern and serious look to it, hints to how he got his name. But if angered enough he will resort to raising his voice, and possibly hitting something to try and keep his temper at bay. This barely seen anger scared Lila when she was younger, to the point where she grew to fear of making her sire mad. Even though Ice Glare was the more favored parent by Lila, due to him thinking slightly more rationally than his conjux, she will always be secretly afraid to make him mad.

Origin: Ice Glare was born into an upper-class system of Cybertron. He joined the Elite Guard to become a solider to help defined Cybertron. During his service in the Elite Guard was when he was able to meet his conjux, Iskarlata na Sumiklab. They met at a bar she was working on, and they haven’t been apart since. When Sumiklab was born, Ice Glare was still serving as a solider for the Elite Guard, while his conjux worked as hard as she could to keep their son functioning. When he retired as a desk worker to the Intelligence Division, was when Bituin was born. Ice Glare and his family were able to live in wealth once he retired to desk work for the Intelligence Division, due to him serving for a bit of time. He did everything he could to help his sparklings make it through the world. He gave Sumiklab pointers and tips to what to do in the Elite Guard, and he helped Bituin with her Archivist upgrades so she could work. But when his daughter ran away from home, he was devastated. His own daughter vanished without a trace. He did all that he could to try and find information on where she disappeared to. He became furious with his son for dropping out on trying to find his sister. And constantly, Ice Glare and Iskarlata would get into fights over Bituin’s disappearance.

•Fun Facts•

-Ice Glare does have family of his own. He has a sire, carrier and two siblings (brother and sister).

-He gets the top part of frame from his carrier and the bottom part of frame from his sire. So, his carrier has the same protoform model as Blurr and his sire as the same protoform model as Ultra Magnus.

-He’s the only one of the family he’s made who doesn't have built-in weapons, due to the types of frames he was made from.

-Even though he works as part of the Intelligence Division, he didn't know who Melody was. This is because his job is staying at the desk and doing work, while Melody is actually going out on missions to gather and retrieve information.

-The weapons he does have that aren't built into him are usually types of blasters or firearms.

-Due to his status, he’s able to help Bituin get her scythe before she ran away from Cybertron.

-He always had hope that his daughter was safe somewhere in the galaxy, he just didn’t know where she was for a whole stellar cycle.

-Even since Bituin disappeared, he’s tried the best he could to help ease his family’s pain. But no matter how much hope he gave them, he couldn’t convince Sumiklab to try and continue his searching for his missing sister. And no matter how much he tried to make Iskarlata happier, rage and disappointment was always in her head because of her daughter’s disappearance.

#IT’S BEEN 84 YEARS AND I’VE FINALLY DONE IT!!#i finally introduced ice glare properly!#it’ll take awhile to post more tfa relevant stuff again #cuz i’m very low on ideas #my art #traditional art #transformers animated #tfa oc #tf oc #ice glare #transformers

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crescentcityhellmouth-rpg · 9 months

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arc-one • p r e s e n t

malachai parker is attempting to be a better person, his regret and want for redemption sends him packing for the crescent city. battling his old demons, still malicious and unsure what he truly wants. all he knows is that he seeks forgiveness from the bennett witch, and hopes to make up for all the wrongs he’s committed in the past. he is willing to do anything to win her favor, he just isn't sure how just yet. his old personality, the one with no emotions or remorse is fighting to be more dominate. at this point, he isn’t sure what he would prefer more.. being the villain was much easier.

divergent • c o n n e c t i o n s

kol mikaelson (x)

kai takes an interest in kol because of his advanced knowledge of particular magics, secretly working to find a way to help the original get his own magics while trying to help him to control his bloodlust.

magnus bane (x)

kai meets magnus at an underground magics hot spot, where all kinds of witches and warlocks go to experience a supernatural high. this place also seems to have some magics that may be helpful in a few of his future endeavors. though magnus may have seen him skulking about the abbatoir, this could lead to a conflict of interest.

camille o'connell (x)

while kai is trying to adjust to his new found emotions - thanks to the merge with luke. he hears about a bartender at rousseaus who has been helping supernaturals sort out their problems. considering kais issues, it's probably best he seeks out a therapist the first chance he gets.

P L O T • TAKEN • N A V I G A T I O N

#cchm kai

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weenwrites · 2 years

Text

TFP Optimus Prime, Ratchet, and Ultra Magnus Comforting a Worried Cybertronian S/O

Pairing - Romantic Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

Optimus

If you have any worries and concerns, he’ll sit down and listen or talk to you about them if you’d like. Although there are a million different outcomes for whatever troubles you, he stays positive and hopeful that things will turn out for the better. If you’re worried about an upcoming battle, however, your concerns are valid, all your concerns are. While he tries to be positive about it, he keeps in mind that things can go south, but he reassures you that we’ll all get through it together, no matter what happens.

Or if you’re worried about an injured teammate, Optimus will assure you that they’ll be fine under Ratchet’s care. Though, he does worry about if the materials they have on them will be enough to fix whoever’s gotten injured. Granted, Earth is a planet pluck full of resources, but not everything’s compatible with Cybertronian biology, and it’s difficult to find an energon deposit to keep for themselves without fighting the Decepticons for it. Nonetheless, he’s still confident that his old friend can help whoever’s injured and nurse them back to health.

Ratchet

He’s open to listen about whatever you have to say if you’re worried about something. If it’s real bad, he’ll temporarily set down whatever he’s working on to listen to you better. Sure he’s good at multi-tasking, listening and working simultaneously, but he can only keep up for oh so long. If you’re worried about an injured teammate, for example, he’ll share your concerns, secretly, because while he’s one of the best medical professionals left from Cybertron, he might not have the proper materials necessary to heal whoever has gotten injured.

If you’re worried about an upcoming battle with the Decepticons, he shares your concerns. Whenever you and the team go out to fight, he’s always worried about whether or not you’ll all come back in one piece, or if you’ll come back at all. He can only say to you that he hopes the next battle will fare well for you and the rest of the team, but if anything bad happens just know that he won’t let anyone die, not on his watch, not while he can still do something about it.

Ultra Magnus

Life can be many things, but at the moment and for the most part it’s nothing but relentless and ruthless. Emotions and comforting people aren’t his forte, unfortunately, but he’s learning to be more sympathetic, trying to learn anyway, albeit his progress is slow. He might not know what to say to make all your fears and worries vanish, but he’s here to listen. As Miko would say, you can “rant” to him, and he’ll be there to listen for as long as he possibly can, and afterward he’ll try to reassure you.

If you’re worried about an upcoming battle, there isn’t much he can do to reassure you, unfortunately, or so he thinks. He talks to you about how the battle could have so many outcomes indeed, both positive and negative ones, but try to be hopeful that the battle will be auspicious in your and the other Autobot’s favors.

Or, alternatively, if you’re worried about an injured teammate, like Optimus he’ll assure you that they’re in the best medical care ( only medical care available… ) and on the track for a speedy and successful recovery. He encourages you to have faith and trust in Ratchet’s medical abilities.

#tfp imagines #tfp headcanons #tfp x reader #tfp optimus prime #optimus prime x reader #tfp ratchet #ratchet x reader #tfp ultra magnus #ultra magnus x reader #x reader #reader insert #self insert #weenwrites

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gladiates · 3 years

Text

220 Beginning Latin Adjectives and Adverbs

I found a digital copy of a book called Latin Vocabulary for the First Two Years (which you can access here), and though it’s from 1918, Latin presumably hasn’t really changed so I figure it’s still a good resource for beginning Latin vocabulary. Here’s a list of all the adjectives and adverbs from the book with their definitions! (below the cut, since it’s long)

acer, acris, acre: sharp, keen

acriter: sharply, fiercely

aeger, -gra, -grum: sick

aequus, -a, -um: level, even, kust, fair

alacer, -cris,-cre: eager, brisk

alius, -a, -ud: another

alter, -era, -erum: the other (of two)

altus, -a, -um: high, deep

amicus, -a, -um: friendly

ample: fully

amplus, -a, -um: large, distinguished

angustus, -a, -um: narrow

antea: before

apertus, -a, -um: open

aridus, -a, -um: dry

audacter: boldly

audax, -acis: bold, daring

barbarus, -a, -um: foreign, barbarous

bene: well

bis: twice

bonus, -a, -um: good

brevis, -e: short

celer, -eris, -ere: swift

celeriter: swiftly, quickly

certe: certainly, at least

certus, -a, -um: fixed, certain

ceteri, -ae, -a (plural): the other, the rest of

citerior, -ius: on this side, nearer

clam: secretly

commodus, -a, -um: fitting, agreeable

communis, -e: common

complures, -a or -ia (plural): several, very many

confestim: promptly

cotidianus, -a, -um: daily

cotidie: daily

cunctus, -a, -um: all, whole

cupidus, -a, -um: desirous, eager

cur: why

defessus, -a, -um: tired

deinde: then, next

dexter, -tra, -trum: right (hand)

difficilis, -e: difficult

diligenter: with care

diu: long (time)

diversus, -a, -um: different, distant

dubius, -a, -um: doubtful

duplex, -licis: double

egregius, -a, -um: eminent, unusual

eo: thither, there

eodem: to the same place

equester, -tris, -tre: relating to cavalry

excelsus, -a, -um: lofty

exiguus, -a, -um: small

facile: easily

facilis, -e: easy

familiaris, -e: of the household, intimate

ferus, -a, -um: wild, fierce

finitimus, -a, -um: neighboring

fortis, -e: brave

fortiter: bravely

frumentarius, -a, -um: pertaining to grain

frustra: in vain

gratis: freely

gravis, -e: heavy, serious

graviter: heavily, seriously

hic: here

huc: hither

iam: by this time, already

iam pridem: long ago

ibi: there

idoneus, -a, -um: fit, suitable

immortalis, -e: immortal

imperitus, -a, -um: unskilled, inexperienced

improvisus, -a, -um: unexpected

incolumis, -e: unharmed, safe

inde: from there, thence

inferus, -a, -um: low

infirmus, -a, -um: weak

inimicus, -a, -um: hostile

iniquus, -a, -um: uneven, unfavorable, unjust

interim: meanwhile

is, ea, id: this, that

ita: so

itaque: and so

item: likewise

iustus, -a, -um: just

latus, -a, -um: wide

legionarius, -a, -um: legionary

levis, -e: light (in weight)

liber, -era, -erum: free

longe: far

longus, -a, -um: long

magnopere: greatly

magnus, -a, -um: large

maritimus, -a, -um: maritime, naval

medius, -a, -um: middle, middle of

meus, -a, -um: my, mine

militaris, -e: military

modo: only

multum: much

multus, -a, -um: much, many

ne... quidem: not even

necessarius, -a, -um: necessary, urgent

necesse (indeclinable): necessary

neque, nec: and not; nor

neque (nec)... neque (nec): neither... nor

nobilis, -e: noble, famous

noctu: at night

nocturnus, -a, -um: at night, nocturnal

non: not

nondum: not yet

nonnulli, -ae, -a (plural): some

noster, -tra, -trum: our

notus, -a, -um: known

novus, -a, -um: new

nullus, -a, -um: no

numquam: never

nunc: now

occultus, -a, -um: concealed

omnino: on the whole, at all, altogether

omnis, -e: every, all

onerarius, -a, -um: of burden

opportunus, -a, -um: suitable, advantageous

paene: almost

palam: openly

par, paris: equal

partim: partly

parum: little, too little

parvus, -a, -um: small

pauci, -ae, -a (plural): few

paulatim: little by little

paulo: a little (with comparative)

paulum: a little

pedester, -tris, -tre: relating to infantry

peritus, -a, -um: skilled, experienced

perpetuus, -a, -um: everlasting

plenus, -a, -um: full

plerique, -aeque, -aque (plural): the most, the majority

plerumque: for the most part

postea: afterwards

posterus, -a, -um: next, later

postridie: on the next day

potius: rather, sooner

praesens, -entis: present, in person

praesertim: especially

praeterea: besides

pridie: on the day before

primo: at first

primum: first

primus, -a, -um: first

prior, -ius: earlier, first

pristinus, -a, -um: former, old

privatus, -a, -um: private

procul: at a distance

propinquus, -a, -um: near

propterea: for this reason

publicus, -a, -um: belonging to the state, official, public

pulcher, -chra, -chrum: beautiful

qua: where

quantus, -a, -um: how great

quo: whither

quoque: also

rarus, -a, -um: wide apart, scattered

recens, -entis: fresh, new, recent

regius, -a, -um: royal

reliquus, -a, -um: the rest, remaining, remainder of

repente: suddenly

repentinus, -a, -um: sudden

rursus: again

sacer, -cra, -crum: sacred

saepe: often

satis: enough, quite

secundus, -a, -um: second; favorable

semper: always

sic: thus, so

sicut, sicuti: just as, as if

similis, -e: like

simul: at the same time

singularis, -e: single, unusual

singuli, -ae, -a (plural): one each, one at a time

sinister, -tra, -trum: left (hand)

solum: only

solus, -a, -um: alone, only

statim: at once

subito: suddenly

superus, -a, -um: high

suus, -a, -um: his/her/its/their own

talis, -e: such

tam: so

tamen: nevertheless

tantus, -a, -um: so great

tardus, -a, -um: slow, late

timidus, -a, -um: fearful

tot (indeclinable): so many

totus, -a, -um: all, whole of

triplex, -licis: threefold

tum: then

turpis, -e: disgraceful

tutus, -a, -um: safe

tuus, -a, -um: your

ubi: where, when

ullus, -a, -um: any

ultro: voluntarily

una: together, in company

unde: whence

undique: from all sides, on all sides

universus, -a, -um: altogether, all

unus, -a, -um: one

usque: even till, even to

uterque, -traque, -trumque: both, each

utilis, -e: useful

vacuus, -a, -um: vacant, destitute of

vehementer: violently

vero: in truth, but

verus, -a, -u: true

vester, -tra, -trum: your

vetus, -teris: old

vetustus, -a, -um: old

vivus, -a, -um: alive

vix: scarcely

#latin #lingua latina #tagamemnon #classics #langblr

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novatheastropirate · 3 years

Text

MCSM Orchestra AU!! ☺️

-Jesse gives me a 1st violin vibe! I think they'd be a first timer in that section, learning to play all of the famous melodies and having to shift to reach the highest notes!

-Lukas is a cello for the sole reason of being able to make silly faces at Jesse across the orchestra!! (Their sections have a perfect view of each other!) Lukas stuck out his tongue during one piece and made Jesse laugh so hard that they fell off of their seat, and the whole orchestra had to restart the piece!

-I think Olivia would make a great Viola, funky harmonies and unique melodies would fit her really well!! Violas also have such a beautiful tone to them, which fit her perfectly!!

-Axel is a cello!! (He and Lukas used to argue over different finger patterns and countings in the music at first, but after a while they started to get along a bit better!)

-Aiden and the Ocelots used to be 2nd violins, who mainly play accompanying harmonies- but they got frustrated with the 1st violins getting all of the spotlight and switched to 1st violins too!

-Maya and Gill secretly want to switch to cello, though, Lukas makes it look fun and they secretly try to learn on their own by fooling around with the cellos after everyone’s left!

-Petra is a second violin! She's pretty proud of being one, too, and knows that a piece isn't complete without a harmony to back up the melody! I can see her being the section leader for the second violins too!

-Gabriel is a bass! He just is!! He likes the feeling of having the largest instrument, and insists on carrying it whenever he's given the opportunity! If anyone in the orchestra needs help moving literally anything, he’ll come running to help. (He says it’s because he doesn’t want them to get hurt- everyone knows that he’s proud of how much he can lift! Nobody’s complaining though!!)

-Magnus refuses to be a part of the strings! He always says it's boring, and prefers to take on timpani drums whenever the ensemble needs them! (They tried to put him on viola once, all the strings broke within 4 minutes! Really wants to play the sousaphone, but nobody trusts him!) During pieces that require special sound effects, (think Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, which was composed with a special time for canons to be fired while the orchestra played) he and a couple of griefers will absolutely go to town with adding in the magic element to make the piece perfect!

-Ellegaard gives me strong first violin vibes, and she’s probably first chair too! (Magnus makes fun of her for it all the time, to which she calls him "Drum Gremlin"!) Nothing makes her happier than figuring out the finger placements for a tricky section, and she loves that sense of accomplishment when she plays it correctly!

-Soren's the conductor. He's amazing on every instrument. Nobody knows how, and he's not sharing any of his secrets! (Shows up fashionably late to rehearsals, makes everybody wonder where he is!) He actually ended up composing his own piece for the orchestra to play, which they ended up debuting! (He didn’t name it until the very last second, eventually scrambling and deciding on Symphony in E! Everybody was too nervous to tell him that his piece was actually in the key of B major, and that he miscounted the number of sharps!)

-Ivor used to be the conductor before he was voted off by the music department in favor of Soren! He's still pretty bitter about it, honestly- he's versatile in the instruments too, and if it weren't for that strikingly pretty principle viola that just joined he probably would have quit altogether! (He settled for playing bass at the back of the ensemble, glaring daggers at Soren whenever he conducts him and stuck being Gabe's stand partner!) Whenever the basses have insanely long amounts of measures where they don't play, he likes to watch Harper play! One time, he watched her for too long and ended up coming in a whole five measures late- which messed everyone up and made them start over! (He told them that he realized he forgot to rosin his bow, which is essential for any string instrument to play with a clear tone. Jesse sees right through it.)

-Harper's the principle viola, and she's amazing! So amazing, in fact, that sometimes it feels like she's being watched... But that can't be true, the only section that's in a position to do that is the basses.. (She named her viola PAMA!)

-Mevia and Hadrian both refuse to be a part of the string ensemble, but Mevia handles reed instruments whenever needed! (Hadrian sits grumpily in the audience. Very bad audience member, never silences his phone during concerts. Come on, dude...)

-If they manage to convince Hadrian to join, (which is a VERY big if), he’d play the tuba!

-Otto is living his best life as a cello! He came here because he was intrigued, and ended up enjoying the instrument! Cello is such a beautiful instrument, and he fell in love with it almost immediately!

-Cassie!! She's really good all around in the "band instruments", and can learn new ones pretty quickly! Whenever the ensemble has someone in the “band” section missing, they can usually count on her to step in and balance everything out. (She has a bit of a habit of stealing whatever maintenance tools she needs from other peoples’ cases, whether it’s valve oil or a clean mouthpiece.) Her cat, Winslow, is known to take naps in other peoples’ instrument cases, prompting a fun game after rehearsal where everyone has to guess which case Winslow is sleeping in. (Cassie guesses correctly 100% of the time. Nobody knows how!!)

-Isa is very versatile in woodwinds!! (Secretly hides tranquilizer darts in her instrument for whenever Hadrian's being too loud in the audience.. She’s onto you, Hadrian..)

-Milo handles piano accompaniment for any ensemble pieces (or concertos and solo performances) that require them! He also handles any vocals that are needed!! (Soren begged them to let him do vocals too, but they all told him that he couldn’t conduct and sing at the same time.)

-Stella and Radar are both learning violin for the first time! (Radar out of excitement to be in the same ensemble as Jesse, Stella because she wanted to be a part of something special!)

-But Radar's already pretty good at oboe and trombone, and actually is a treasured member of the band program! He came over because he thought Jesse was cool, he's one of those really cool musicians that take part in both programs!

-Stella was a bit disappointed at first when she found out that second violins don’t tend to get the famous melodies that the firsts do. Luckily for her, Petra was around to remind her of just how important the second violins are to the entire ensemble, and showed her the beauty of her own part! After a while, Stella grew to be much more confident on her instrument, and moved up to be Petra’s stand partner! Her llama, Lluna, enjoys hiding in the instrument lockers for the larger instruments!

-Jack plays the baritone, and Nurm plays the bassoon! (Nurm has a very cool way of communicating through his instrument. Jack’s the only one who is able to translate, and nobody’s ever heard Nurm speak!)

-Romeo plays trumpet. I don't make the rules. I'm sorry! He's very loud.. (And has a habit of ignoring all “pianissimo” markings on the sheet music. He will be heard!)

-Xara plays both alto and tenor sax!! Because they’re the same instrument in different keys, most expect her to get confused when she switches between the two. But to everyone’s surprise, she can go from alto to tenor and back again without missing a beat!!

-Fred plays french horn when needed in the brass section, and steps in as an extra bass when needed in the orchestra section!! ...Well, he used to at least- last year, he quit the orchestra due to mysterious circumstances. Nobody's really sure why he left, but rumor has it that it involved Romeo and a sabotaged audition. We'll never know for sure...

-Binta stepped into Fred's shoes, and is doing her best to cover french horn! (She's still working on bass, but she's a fast learner!!)

-Reuben, Winslow, Benedict, and Lluna regularly walk onstage during rehearsal! Nothing can stop them, either- locked doors do nothing, as they always seem to find a way in! The entire ensemble has just accepted it at this point! (They ran onstage during a concert once, and Soren nearly had a heart attack trying to shoo them off and conduct at the same time!)

#And that’s everybody I could think of!! ☺️#☺️ Thank you for reading the product of me nerding out about orchestra and cube people!!#mcsm #minecraft story mode #mcsm au #mcsm orchestra au

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cemeterything · 4 years

Note

Can we see your Magnus Archives OCs? :0

ummm well i can't draw so idk if you can "see" them but i CAN tell you more about them:

i've talked about jem (short for jemima, last name allen) before, but tl;dr version they were a popular horror graphic novelist who specialized in illustrating trippy visuals and eldritch horrorterrors (think junji ito meets lovecraft and you get the idea) whose offerings to the distortion (it wasn't exactly intentional, but they enjoyed making their readers frightened and when the compulsion to "feed" that fear began to take hold they didn't resist it) pleased it enough that it targeted them, causing them to give into it to become a full avatar rather than simply a wannabe acolyte. unlike michael and helen, however, they never reached its "heart" and weren't entirely consumed and thus didn't become a manifestation of the distortion itself, but rather gained it as a patron figure (think like warlocks in dnd for the closest comparison). if michael/helen is the "hand" of the distortion - the part that acts as an extension of its will - jem is the "face". a face can speak, beguile and even consume, but it's more limited and indirect than a hand is. likewise, jem is more limited than the michael/helen avatar. they have the distortion's favor and a certain amount of power and protection, but not total union with it, which what's left of jem wishes they could have acheived and are extremely insecure about.

my other oc, annie (short for anastasia, last name clifford) is a serious, unfriendly rich girl who dropped out of university in her second year and she grew bored of her history degree and decided to start a business dealing in rare art, specialising in the macabre and unusual, instead using the significant sum of money accessible to her since her 18th birthday. after her parents' deaths in entity-related incidents (her father was replaced by a stranger, and her mother died of her wounds sustained shortly after discovering and killing her replacement when she found it attacking annie, who was one of the few who could see through it), she was brought up by various extended family members who all wanted to use her to gain access to her family fortune. this makes her severely distrustful and has left her with a lot of repressed rage and bitterness which she takes out on hunting down and destroying entities and leitners that she can get her hands on. the rare art deal business is mostly a cover for her to acquire leitner tomes and meet unsuspecting avatars, who she prefers to attack with the same blade her mother used to kill her Not!Father, a medieval sword passed down through her family for generations (though she isn't above a good old gunfight or even bare fists). she tolerates jem because they've saved her life multiple times after growing attached to her, but she still dislikes what they represent and secretly hopes she can draw them away from the distortion and back to humanity.

#long post

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bubonickitten · 4 years

Text

TMA fic: where there’s a will, we make a way

New chapter is up on AO3 here!

Summary: Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.

Previous chapter: AO3 // tumblr

Chapter 11 full text & content warnings below the cut.

CWs for Chapter 11: mild self-harm (brief instance of wrist banging/bruising to distract from intrusive thoughts; mention of scratching/skin picking); some Buried-related claustrophobic memories; mentions of Jon starving himself (wrt to consuming statements, but worth mentioning for anyone who needs content warnings related to eating disorders, restrictive diets, etc.; there will be more going forward of Jon being hungry and restricting himself, and I'll keep warning for it, especially in chapters where it features heavily). SPOILERS through S5.

Chapter 11: Reaching Out

The tunnels are as ominous as they’ve always been, but at this point, Jon just might be growing accustomed to them. The creeping fear he’s always felt down here has faded to the background – an ambient sense of dread. It's almost tolerable, or at least less oppressive than the omnipresent sense of being watched that he’s long since accepted as his normal.

Here, he can compose his letter to Martin without the risk of Jonah Seeing exactly what Jon’s eyes see.

After the Watcher’s Crown, Jonah did not Watch through Jon’s eyes anymore. Whether that was because Jon was stronger than Jonah at that point or because Jonah did not bother to try, Jon doesn’t Know. Once the ritual was completed, Jonah no longer had any stake in Jon’s trajectory, no need to monitor his progress or ensure his survival. Moreover, Jonah’s inflated ego never allowed for the possibility that Jon could pose a threat to his reign. His Archivist – his Archive – had no further interest to him except as a source of entertainment, and he didn’t need to See through Jon’s eyes in order to behold the show. He could See all of creation from the Panopticon.

Jon is stronger now than he was the last time he was here, but he’s still nowhere near as powerful as he was during the apocalypse. He’s tried to Know how he measures up against Jonah now, but the Beholding seems intent on withholding that knowledge from him. Last time he made an attempt, the Eye treated him to a litany of statistics about the interactions between the human body and the venom of various species of spider.

Sometimes Jon thinks that if the Beholding is sentient, it might just be the pettiest of the Dread Powers.

In any case, Jonah Magnus is still as much of a gnawing question mark as he’s always been. It’s safest to assume that he has the advantage until proven otherwise – and Jon will take the tunnels over Jonah’s voyeurism any day, no matter how harrowing they may be. Even if he has to be down here alone – which he is.

Georgie is with Melanie, and Jon is reluctant to ask Basira for any favors right now. He wonders again if this is how Martin felt, living in the Archives, spending sleepless nights with himself and the scratching of a pen as his only companions. Just like Jon, Martin was never very good company for himself, especially back then – and back now. He was primed for the Lonely long before he started working at the Institute.

Speaking of which…

Jon sighs, puts his pen down, and begins to read through what he’s written.

I’m sorry I left you.

…now I’m here, trying to explain things –

– had changed since he left –

– it seemed he was alone –

– as far as I could tell, all alone in the world, and rather unhappy about the fact.

I will admit to taking a dislike to the man when I first met him – but –

– I’d say that – was a foolish act of past me.

Jon is still worried about starting the letter like this, but this is a point in time not too far removed from his early mistreatment of Martin. Jon had made his apologies and explanations at length in his future, but this version of Martin hasn’t experienced that yet. Jon can’t just jump into showing affection before taking accountability for his past behavior – recent past, from the perspective of this timeline.

He can only hope that Martin will read through to the end, and that Jon’s intention – his sincerity – will be understood.

Soon I was giving my account as a full confession –

– trying my best to fit this into a relatively coherent narrative.

It’s plenty of things I’ve done I couldn’t explain to you. I mean, I’m constantly – looking back at my past self and thinking, what an idiot. How the hell could he have done such an obviously stupid thing? How was I surprised it went so badly? What a relief I’m now so much older and wiser.

I’ve never really been the social type – I’ve always just been happier alone. Well, maybe happier isn’t quite the right word. I did get a bit lonely sometimes. I’d hear laughter coming from other rooms in my building, or see a group of friends talking in the sun outside, and maybe I’d wish I had something like that, but it never really bothered me – I didn’t need another people and they certainly didn’t need me.

Jon looks down at the words with a dissatisfied scowl. Does this come off as too self-centered? As more as an excuse than an explanation? This would be so much easier if he could just say what he means. Then again, Jon’s always struggled with discussing emotional matters, hasn't he? He can’t blame it all on the Archive.

These thoughts, these feelings were always in my mind – until – I realized the deeper truth of it all.

I tried to put it into words, but without any real success. Even here, with the time to compose it properly, I’m not sure I’ve caught the essence of what I felt –

– I had a look through my library, and couldn’t find anything that matched it –

– those are musings for poets, among whom I do not number –

– it’s all very well to say ‘write down what you saw,’ but what if you don’t have the words?

I suppose I’ll just have to try.

I’ve always been more comfortable alone –

– had few friends – reluctant to make the sort of connections that might lead to –

– the prospect of being genuinely loved –

– fully and completely known –

– having people be genuinely lovely to me, I didn’t know what to do with those feelings –

– I could never bring myself to try. It felt more comfortable, more familiar, to be alone.

It is the fear of being watched, and judged, and having all your secrets known.

Ironic, in some ways –

– being what I am –

– an Archivist pleading for knowledge –

– to feed the sick voyeur that lurks in this place.

Eventually, I opened my eyes –

– feeling absurd about how terrified I was about being seen –

– kicking myself for having been so stupid –

– it wasn’t natural for people to live in isolation – we were creatures of community by nature.

Soon enough, I could no longer fool myself –

– the man I loved –

– who was by all accounts such a kind and gentle soul –

– when I – saw him standing there waiting for me – I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than in that moment.

He spoke words I thought existed only in my heart, and I loved him as the soil loves the rain –

– and it seemed he felt the same way –

– and together it seemed like we would get past our pain.

Everything about being with him felt so natural that when he told me he loved me, it only came as a surprise to realize that we hadn’t said it already.

…to say – “I love you” – honestly it’s one of the few decisions I’ve ever made that I completely understand.

It’s… woefully inadequate. Too devoid of context. Unlikely to reach Martin through the fog. But maybe it will be enough to at least convince him to talk to Jon. To keep the Lonely at bay, at least for now.

After leaving the hospital, the next thing that is properly clear in my mind is –

– I need him to be okay.

I couldn’t see him or hear him –

– I didn’t even get a chance to speak to him – asked what had happened, he was just gone. And I was alone again.

I wanted to say something reassuring, to reach out and let him know I was still there –

– I wanted to act, to help, to do something, but – I felt helpless to do anything but watch as events progressed.

I think he might be part of something really awful, and I don’t know how to make him see that – of course I did worry. I knew that, secretly, he was as well.

I know how that sounds – but – I ask you to read on.

For a split second, the memory of the ritual flits through his mind – Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading … – and Jon brings his wrist down on the side of his chair, hard. The pain jolts him out of the recollection and brings him back to the present. He watches halfheartedly as the discoloration fades before his eyes, frustration with his overreaction itching in the back of his mind. Stupid.

With a longsuffering sigh, he rereads the previous section again. The borrowed words sound patronizing, without the qualifying context he wishes he could provide more explicitly. He isn’t just nitpicking – it’s crucial that Martin knows that Jon isn’t underestimating him, despite a history of doing exactly that for far too long.

The first time around, he trusted Martin – more than he trusted anyone, including (perhaps especially) himself – and even knowing what he knows now, he doesn’t regret it. He heard the tapes.

“But if I could just explain,” Martin had said.

“And how do you think Jon’s going to react to that explanation, hm?” Peter had replied. “You think he’ll accept it calmly? Come through with a well-considered, rational response?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Or would he assume he knows better than you and do something rash?”

“I don’t like being manipulated.”

“That’s fair. But I’m not wrong.”

“No.”

In Jon’s original timeline, he had proven Peter wrong. He had trusted Martin, respected his boundaries, followed his lead. This time, though… Jon won’t be able to demonstrate that with non-interference, and not being able to use his own words doesn’t help him explain that this isn’t just another instance of Jon just assuming he knows better than everyone else, that he actually does have special knowledge, and – well, truthfulness aside, that sounds condescending, too, doesn’t it?

He doesn’t blame Martin for agreeing with Peter. For a significant portion of Jon’s life, it would have been a fair assessment. He didn’t trust people. He didn’t trust himself, either – not really – but at least he knew his own intentions. That bone-deep fear of being manipulated, of being rejected, of not having control… it never played well with the concept of trust.

And when they first started working together, Jon made no secret of his knee-jerk judgment of Martin as being incompetent, clumsy, and unreliable. In retrospect, he couldn’t have been more wrong – and he knows now that he was only seeing what he wanted to see, projecting his own insecurities and fear of failure onto Martin to distract from his own floundering.

After learning that Martin had lied on his CV, Jon readjusted his initial opinions. He was impressed. Martin was remarkably capable for someone with no prior qualifications, no experience, no degree. What he lacked in experience he more than made up for in effort. He was clever, and resolute, and dependable, and genuine, and… and god, wasn’t Jon a fool for taking so long to notice? And then for never saying as much until it was almost too late?

This version of Martin hasn’t heard that apology just yet – or the corollary apology for waiting so long to apologize. Georgie had told him years ago that he needed to use his words, that people needed to hear directly that they were acknowledged and appreciated. Jon himself struggled with reading between the lines. Just because he had low tolerance for receiving direct praise – despite craving it deeply – didn’t mean that other people had the same hangups.

He’s since taken that advice to heart, but he should have done sooner. Georgie had been right about a lot of things.

Jon did eventually say as much and more, during those brief few weeks they had in the safehouse. Peter hadn’t been all wrong when he questioned how much they really knew one another. Between Jon’s early irascibility and the distance he felt obligated to keep given their employee/boss relationship; between preventing apocalypses and being in such constant life-or-death peril that it started to feel normal, so normal that Jon didn’t know what to do with himself when he wasn’t being chased or held captive; between the coma, and descending into inhumanity, and the Lonely… they hadn’t had a chance to get to know each other outside of a crisis situation.

Jon didn’t even know himself anymore. He wondered if he ever had.

For the first time, they finally had the time and space to remedy that. Both of them were changed and would never be the same, but they had each other. They were both willing to put in the effort, to learn how to communicate and accommodate and navigate boundaries, despite neither having much experience with a healthy relationship. And for a little while, it had seemed that they could both learn how to be present in the world again – starting with their own microcosm, one day at a time, encouraging one another to be more patient and kind with themselves.

It wasn’t fair, how abruptly that hesitant, hopeful attempt was stolen from them. Jon didn’t feel like he deserved comfort and contentment – he still doesn’t – but Martin… Martin deserved – deserves – to be safe and cared for and loved. Martin deserves to be happy.

Jon desperately wants to help him See that.

Don’t… misunderstand me, please –

– I trusted his instincts almost as much as I trusted my own.

More than I trusted my own, Jon amends in his head – but the Archive isn’t cooperating.

But I knew that I – knew the future –

– the promise of secret knowledge, of seeing something that no one else was privy to –

– there was – a lot – we were missing.

Please. All I ask is that I be allowed –

– a chance to express myself –

– said something about knowledge being a good defense here –

– so here I am, pouring out my lunatic story on paper in the hopes that you might eventually read it.

Statement of Georgina Barker regarding –

– travel through time.

Jon still has to ask Georgie if she can explain the situation to Martin, but he doesn’t think she’ll mind. It won’t be as comprehensive as Jon wishes it could be – he still struggles with explaining the fine details of the apocalypse to the others given his current limitations – but he’s done his best, and he can trust Georgie to do the same.

Some fears can only be endured for so long. I remember every second of that fall. Like it was happening in slow motion. I was certain I was about to watch him fall like I had.

That knowledge I had gained – could finally be put to use.

I shall do my best to explain, and hope that any revelations contained here in me sway you from the path you have started upon.

I wanted to tell him to stop, to warn him – because I knew –

– the Extinction – while I have seen evidence of its influence in other powers –

– there was no sign of – imminent arrival – I resolved –

– its emergence as a true power of its own –

– wasn’t a threat.

Whatever he was planning –

– to try and rescue those trapped –

– trying to protect me –

– defending the world from the darkness…

…I know – to talk to other people about it –

– desperately wishing for another human being to talk to –

– to take too much comfort in – people – would go quite strongly against the spirit of the experiment – had to really feel alone. That at least didn’t take too long to set in.

All that remained was the fog – could wander there for years, and never meet another – utterly forsaken – there seemed to be no end to it.

But it didn’t need to be forever, did it?

“This too shall pass.”

I tried to explain but all I could manage to get through the shaking sobs was, “I love you.”

By then it looked like he was on the verge of tears,

Jon stops reading for a moment, realizing that, aptly enough, he’s on the verge of tears right now. He swallows them back and continues.

By then it looked like he was on the verge of tears, but I couldn’t leave it alone – just couldn’t let it go.

I have tried to write it down, to put it into terms and words you could understand. And now I stare at it and not a word of it is even enough to fully describe the fact that –

I cannot lose him.

I – cared deeply about his well-being.

I know he didn’t deserve what happened to him.

He deserved to –

– to be – beloved –

– cared for – trusted –

– being wanted and appreciated –

– being genuinely loved –

– no matter how wrong it might feel –

– when you’re at your lowest point, when you’re your most emotionally vulnerable.

I need him to be okay –

– and the world is so much better for –

– the easy, charming man I’d fall in love with –

– being in it.

Please. All I ask is that I be allowed to –

– talk to you, before it all comes to an end –

– and I swear to you that –

– if you decide to do it – if –

– you want to be alone – and –

– didn’t say much to me after that –

– I made sure to keep – distance.

There’s so much more Jon wishes he could say; so much that he wishes he could say in his own voice, rather than the stolen words of survivors recounting the most traumatic moments of their lives. It still feels perverse, to use their statements like this. It might not be as bad as feeding directly on a victim, but it still falls on a spectrum of appropriating the torment of others for his own use.

At the end of the day, it really doesn’t feel all that different from Jonah’s brand of dehumanization. It’s just one more way Jon is complicit in the evil that thrives in this place –

“Hey,” comes Georgie’s voice from just a few yards away. Jon startles, sending his pen clattering to the floor. He had been so lost in his own thoughts, he hadn’t even heard her descending the ladder. “Sorry,” she says with a wince. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Retrieving the fallen pen, Jon waves the apology off – it’s okay – and Georgie comes to sit next to him.

“Finished with your letter?”

“…I’m vague on the details,” he says. “I have to be.”

“Want me to take a look?”

Jon nods; he had been planning on asking her to read it through. Even if it was in his own words, he would likely run it by her. He trusts Georgie’s judgment regarding relationship matters far more than he trusts his own, and he knows she’ll be straightforward with him if he’s said something… well, stupid. He’s gotten better at communicating, but that doesn’t mean his tendency to put his foot in his mouth has disappeared entirely.

He jiggles his leg restlessly as she reads, increasingly self-conscious the longer the silence goes on. He resists scratching at his hands – Georgie is sure to reprimand him if he starts that up again. It isn’t that she has a problem with his fidgeting; she was actually one of the first people in his life to tolerate it. Encouraged it, even. She pointed out quite bluntly once that whenever Jon tried to force himself to sit still, his restless energy didn’t go away, it just came out as waspishness instead.

But she had a rule: no self-harm, no matter how mild. Personally, he didn’t categorize the scratching as self-harm, but she was firm about it. Lately, the scratching is limited mostly to his burned hand, and he’s tried explaining to her that it doesn’t even hurt – the scar tissue doesn’t register much sensation anymore – but she won’t hear it. For the past couple weeks, whenever she catches him at it, she gives him a look until he stops.

“I think it’s good,” Georgie says. “But…”

Jon tenses, but then he glimpses Georgie’s playful grin.

“It’s nothing bad! It’s just… well…”

He can hear the spark of mischief in her tone and somehow that makes him more apprehensive than the prospect of criticism.

“See, you say you’re not a poet,” she says, pointing at the letter, “but this part here…”

He spoke words I thought existed only in my heart, and I loved him as the soil loves the rain –

– and it seemed he felt the same way –

– and together it seemed like we would get past our pain.

“You go and use a sappy metaphor – and I know,” she says, seeing him ready to protest, “they’re not your words and you’re using what you have available.”

Yes, he wants to say, and my vast library comprised solely of people’s retellings of their supernatural trauma isn’t exactly forthcoming with declarations of love, Georgina.

“But,” she says, goading now, “then you go and rhyme the first and last lines.”

Jon squints at the letter, and…

Fuck. It does rhyme.

He moves to snatch the paper away and Georgie stands and holds it out of reach, dancing backwards.

“No, nope, absolutely not,” she says, laughing. “Jonathan Sims, I refuse to let you change it. You’re leaving it exactly as is.”

“…being used against me in a cruel joke,” he huffs, glowering at her – but her laugh has always been infectious, and he can’t fight it as his lips twitch into a smile.

She hands the letter back to him after a minute, still grinning when she takes her seat again.

“I’m teasing you. You can change it if you want, but I think it’s adorable and you should leave it. Besides, Martin’s a poet, isn’t he? He might get a kick out of it.”

Honestly, it doesn’t bother him enough to rewrite the entire thing. And if there’s a chance of it coaxing a smile out of Martin…

“On a more serious note – this part here, ‘statement of Georgina Barker’ – I’m assuming you want me to try to convince him that you actually are a time traveler here to stop the apocalypse?” Jon nods. “Probably easier than trying to write it all out. I don’t mind, but are you sure he’ll listen to me?”

Jon shrugs. He has the same worry, but…

“As for myself, I must cling to –”

“– that most insidious of emotions: hope.”

“Somehow both unexpectedly sappy and predictably ominous,” she replies, “but I’ll take it. Better than despair, anyway.”

Despite the light teasing, the smile she flashes is genuine. Fleeting, though, as she continues.

“Oh, and one more thing – that one bit, capital-E Extinction? One, don’t like the sound of that, and two – should I know what that is? Melanie hasn’t mentioned anything like that before.”

“I’m sorry – it won’t let me say the words,” Jon says with a frustrated sigh.

“Will Martin know what it means, though?” Jon nods. With any luck, Martin can be persuaded to fill the others in on it. “Good enough.”

She watches him for a few moments as he chews at his thumbnail, leg still shaking, staring at the floor.

“Something’s on your mind.”

Jon sighs and closes his eyes.

“I could feel hunger gnawing at me.”

“You still haven’t had a statement?” Georgie says, frowning at him.

“Something he could salvage from the whole situation,” he mutters, not looking up at her. “Just a way of getting some control over his life, you know?”

“Jon, you can’t just starve yourself –”

“Running was pointless,” he agrees sullenly. “To try to escape from my task would only serve to fulfill another. I finally understood what I needed to do –”

“– some hungers are too strong to be denied –”

“– you have to feed it – or it will feed on you.”

“So why haven’t you?”

“Even as I did so, in the back of my mind I hated myself –”

“– to feed the sick voyeur that lurks in this place.”

“I’m not saying you should… go hunting, or whatever you want to call it. This is an archive, there are plenty of statements lying around.”

“…you’ve got all this… all these people’s experiences listened to and filed away.”

“Right. They’re already given. They can’t be taken back. You’re not going out and hurting people, you’re just… reading what’s already here.”

She thinks he was just agreeing with her, he realizes – she didn’t comprehend his true meaning there. How could she have? He hasn’t properly explained to them that he is the Archive. He already Knows all of the statements housed here. Old statements were stale even when he hadn’t read them yet. Now, they’re even less fulfilling.

As a child, he hated reading anything that he felt like he had read before. It seems morbidly fitting that the Archivist in him is much the same way.

“Think of it like… like harm reduction,” Georgie is saying now. “From what I can gather, abstinence just isn’t an option for you, at least not right now. The next best thing is to meet yourself where you are. Even if you can’t stop, you can still take steps to minimize the harm – and that includes harm to yourself. Reading the statements that are already here – I think it’s justifiable, if the alternative is starving to death.”

“I am not sure how long this might continue for. Maybe years. Maybe forever.”

“Maybe. But right now, you need to take it one step at a time. You’re getting ready to hurl yourself into danger. You should be at full strength for that. If you aren’t going to sleep, you at least need to eat something.”

She has a point. There is one other concern, though.

“It seems I cannot avoid the ceaseless gaze of – Jonah –”

“– still there, still watching me –”

“– eyes were always focused on something, always watching. And – I always felt afraid –”

“– being under constant scrutiny and observation –”

“– it may be worth your while to keep an eye on the statements – in case he finds his way here –”

“– my mind has always been receptive to the thoughts that lurk in the written page –”

“– that throw out strange or sometimes even dangerous things –”

“– a simple ruse or deception –”

“– quietly waiting for you to lose your footing, to slip up and fall.”

“You’re afraid of getting tricked into reading the wrong statement again.”

Jon nods, not quite meeting her eye. All of the statements housed here are already catalogued in the Archive. He can recall them on his own word for word, if he concentrates. But something about that doesn’t feel right. Physically reading the statement, speaking it into the tape recorder… it’s like its own little ritual – like there’s an order of operations that has to be followed or it doesn’t count, somehow.

“…I outlined basic checks in due diligence –”

“– checking and double checking –”

“– before I finally felt safe enough –”

“– to read a statement – hitting record and speaking it aloud.”

“Well… we can probably vet them before giving them to you?”

“…they were also there as a backup in case something went horribly wrong – in case –”

“– it tried to read me back.”

“Okay,” she says after a moment’s consideration. “I’ll let Basira know.”

Her expression is concerned, but there’s something else underneath it. It doesn’t seem like judgment, or suspicion, or any of the other reactions he’s come to expect when discussing his reliance on the statements. It’s definitely not fear; this is Georgie. Pity, maybe?

Whatever it is, it makes him feel small and exposed and uncomfortably seen.

“Jon, look at me.” He does, with hesitation. “I know things are bad, and I’ll admit I was skeptical when you first said you wanted to change, but based on what I’ve seen over the past few months? I believe in you. It’s okay to have a little faith in yourself, too. I think you’ll need to, if you want to get through this.”

His gaze drifts to the floor, self-conscious.

“Anyway, it's probably best that Elias doesn’t see us pre-screening statements for you, right? Might make him suspicious. I can just gather a box of them and bring them down here. I’ll bring Basira with me, and we can explain the situation.” She stands and starts to walk toward the ladder, then stops abruptly. “Wait.”

She does a half-turn, not quite facing him, watching the floor pensively.

“I don’t know what I’m looking for. Is there something particular – like, do you have preferences, or – are there… nutritional requirements or something?” Jon can’t help it; he smiles at the absurdity of it all. “Do you need variety? Does a balanced diet even apply in this –”

Realizing he isn’t replying to any of her questions, she finally looks up, sees his amused smirk, and pauses mid-flustered gesture. He chuckles softly and shakes his head, mortified by the idea of cultivating a preference for statements as if choosing from a menu, but also just a bit shamefully, morbidly endeared at her thoughtfulness.

“Well, I don’t know!” she says indignantly, but she grins back. “Fine. I’ll grab a bunch at random then, and you can just deal. Ass.”

God, he missed this easy, playful banter even more than he had realized.

Jon watches as she climbs the ladder, preparing for the customary anxiety that tends to hit him whenever she leaves his presence – that conviction that it will be the last he sees of her.

When she pulls herself up through the trapdoor, though, he’s pleasantly surprised to note that the fear doesn’t come. He’s even more surprised that a half-hour later, when Georgie sends Basira with a box of statements but doesn’t accompany her, the fear still doesn’t overwhelm him. It shouldn’t be that surprising – he does trust Georgie – but intellectually understanding something isn’t the same as emotionally assimilating it. It seems that for once, his emotions have caught up with reality.

“Melanie needs company right now, so Georgie couldn’t come with. She didn't say exactly what you needed help with, but I think I have an idea.”

“…to keep an eye on the statements –”

“– they were also there as a backup in case something went horribly wrong.”

“Figured as much. Anyway, Georgie said she’ll come see you before she goes home today.” Basira drops the box on the floor in front of him. “I told her you probably wouldn’t want her present for the statements anyway. No need to expose more people to them if we can help it. I thought you’d agree.”

Jon nods, thankful that Basira is on the same page and he didn’t have to bother explaining it himself.

“So, any stand out to you?”

May as well get it over with, Jon thinks with a heavy sigh.

He leans over the box and sifts through them, eyes skimming over the case numbers until one catches his eye. CASE #0020312, the label reads. Figures, he thinks to himself with a grim, humorless smile, and he hands it over to Basira for her to inspect.

She skims through it quickly – she’s a fast reader, Jon notes – and at several points her eyebrows raise and furrow.

“Seems normal enough – for a statement, anyway,” she says, handing it back to him. Then, meeting his eyes: “A bit on the nose, though.” Jon shrugs. “You want me to stay while you read it, right? Go on, then.”

The tape recorder clicks on in his pocket, as if to voice its agreement. Jon removes it and takes a moment to glare at it before turning his eyes to the statement, clearing his throat, and beginning his monologue.

“Statement of Tova McHugh, regarding their string of near-death experiences. Original statement given December 3rd, 2002. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, the Archivist. Statement begins…”

The Coffin sits where Breekon dropped it, hungry and waiting. It’s the densest, most solid thing in the room, as if it has its own gravity, a sort of metaphysical black hole. It’s not as bad as the rift at Hill Top Road, but it has a similar feel to it: oppressive, wrong, its existence impossible but unavoidably present all the same.

Jon stands at the threshold, blocking the entrance, Basira and Georgie standing behind him.

“So this is it, then,” Georgie says. “You’re sure you know what you’re doing?”

“…as you can imagine, getting out of there proved – difficult –”

“– but they did return.”

She still looks uncertain, watching the Coffin as if it might move on its own.

“…try to keep you far away –”

“– didn’t want a good look inside that room – stopped at the threshold –”

“– make it very little distance over the threshold before – swallowed –”

“– you must trust me on that and not come looking –”

“– supervise from a distance –”

“Jon,” Basira says, cutting him off, “we get it. It’s dangerous, stay away, et cetera. I can feel the compulsion from here; you really don’t need to tell me twice, let alone five times.”

Jon barely hears her, his mind already entirely occupied with what he’s about to do. He stands paralyzed, knees locked, hands trembling just slightly, pulse thundering in his throat. Already his breath feels constricted, and he hasn’t even opened the thing yet.

“Do you need more time?” Georgie asks gently.

Jon shuts his eyes, swallows around the lump in his throat, and shakes his head no. The longer he puts it off, the harder it will be to take the plunge. And Daisy has waited long enough.

“Hey. Look at me.”

Jon breathes out, opens his eyes, and turns to face her. She opens her arms slightly, offering an embrace – but he shakes his head, giving her an apologetic look. Pressure is usually good, grounding him, but right now – well, he’s about to have all of creation pressing in on him, and any reminder of that is only going to send him spiraling.

“Okay. You have everything you need?”

He nods, trying to project whatever thin veneer of confidence he can muster – more for himself than the others, really. He holds up the tape recorder with Daisy’s statement tape in it, then gestures vaguely at the tape recorders littering his desk.

“…like breadcrumbs taking us home. Home, in this case, was –”

“Martin,” Georgie says with a knowing smile. “I’ll make sure he gets your message – and yes,” she says, seeing him about to interject, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t read it outside the tunnels. And I’ll explain… the situation. Don’t worry about things over here. Just focus on what you need to do on your end.”

Jon nods again, clenching and unclenching his fist at his side, stuffing the tape recorder back into his pocket with the other hand.

Time to stop dithering, he tells himself firmly.

“Tell Daisy I –” Basira blurts out, then pauses, struggling for words. “Tell her…”

She breathes out a short exhale and looks up at Jon. He nods at her: I understand.

“Tell her I’m waiting.” She pauses, biting her lip. “And Jon?” He makes a questioning noise. “Come back safe,” she says, then turns on her heel and walks briskly away down the hall.

“We’ll see you home soon, Jon,” Georgie says. She pours every ounce of reassurance into it that she can manage, but he can feel that she’s still apprehensive. “Don’t get lost.”

“…I’d – get out of there as soon as possible,” he says, trying to mirror her composure.

“You’d better. I doubt I’ll be the only one cross with you if you stay away too long.”

The tape recorders fill the room with a low, static-leaden murmuring – dozens of overlapping tones, unbroken streams of phonemes rendered nearly incomprehensible, discrete parts unable to compete against the cacophony of the whole. Although it sounds like the background noise of a crowd to Jon, he Knows every word being said: a litany of horror and dread unspooling in the air around him.

He also Knows that they will continue running, replaying each statement on a loop until he returns, no batteries required.

A notebook sits on his desk, battered and careworn. It’s Martin’s, half-filled with poems and works-in-progress, many of them from the weeks he was living in the Archives. He left it here when he went to work for Peter. Whether it was meant as a deliberate symbolic gesture – leaving the past behind him, sacrificing this sentimental part of himself in order to become what Peter’s plan required him to be – or was simply an oversight after months of having no time or mind for writing, Jon still doesn’t Know. He never asked. In the future, after Martin started writing again, Jon felt it was best not to reopen old wounds for the sake of satiating his own curiosity.

If only he could have learned that lesson earlier in life.

Jon has never been a fan of poetry. It’s never really resonated with him; he’s never understood it, and he… doesn’t have much patience for things he cannot understand. But then, Martin went to work for Peter Lukas – and the last time Jon was here, he had burned every other bridge between himself and humanity.

When he was a child, he had convinced himself that he didn’t need friends, didn’t need affection. He found human connection in books, and he told himself that it was enough. It wasn’t, in retrospect: he entered adolescence and then adulthood with stunted social skills, and practicing didn't seem worth the risk of failure. Between that and being the Archivist, it was no wonder he had chased everyone away.

By the time he woke up from his first coma, he knew that books would be no replacement for actual companionship, but he thought it might at least take the edge off, like it used to when he was a child. It backfired terribly. He would always Know how the story ended before even finishing the first chapter, and it would demolish any motivation to continue reading. It wasn’t just that his reading habits now tend to be as particular as they were when he was young, having little patience for anything that felt like he had read it before. It was that he couldn’t have a moment of peace from the knowledge of what he had become.

One day he stumbled across Martin’s notebook in Document Storage, along with some spoken word recordings that Martin had made while living in the Archives. At first, Jon didn’t know what the tapes were, and listening to any tapes that turned up had long since become automatic for him. Once he realized what was on them, he probably should have stopped, but he listened to every second of that handful of tapes, over and over and over again. He felt guilty – he had already violated Martin’s privacy once before, when he was deep in the throes of paranoia – but he justified it to himself because he… well, he'd needed to hear Martin’s voice.

The poetry was… well, Jon still didn’t get it, not really. But he found himself liking it anyway, because it was Martin’s voice and Martin’s words and Martin’s story, and Jon didn’t have to understand it for it to have meaning and value and warmth. He should have been content with the tapes, but he kept stealing glances at the notebook, itching to open it and start reading. Part of it was that simple curiosity that was always leading him astray, but for once, that wasn’t the loudest part of him.

It wasn’t a need to Know. It was a need for closeness.

So, he pushed that guilty voice in his head aside and… he read. Unlike the fiction stories he had been trying to lose himself in, he never once Knew anything about a poem before he finished reading it. He rarely Knew anything about it even after reading it, and then rereading it, and then rereading it again. For the first time in his life, not having answers was… refreshing. Freeing, even.

It didn’t take long for Jon to memorize every word, cover to cover – and he never grew bored of them, despite their familiarity.

Gingerly, almost reverently, Jon turns the pages. There are a handful of poems in here about him, and even now, indelibly etched into his memory, reading them on the page still makes him feel seen in a way that is all at once terrifying and comforting. Affecting, certainly, but in a way he could appreciate, once he gave it a chance.

You’re stalling, Jon tells himself, closing the notebook and placing one last tape on top of it.

He closes his eyes and forces himself to take several deep breaths – it’s the last chance he’ll have for the next few days – and he checks his pocket for the tape recorder with Daisy’s statement in it. Pointless, really; he already Knows it’s there, same as it was the last dozen times he checked.

Swallowing hard, he finally turns to look at the Coffin. The moment he lays eyes on it, the static rises in his mind.

Oh, shut up, Jon thinks tiredly. The Dread Powers are like cats yowling at overflowing food bowls, insisting that they haven’t had supper yet. At least cats are endearing. The Fears are noisy and intrusive with none of the charm. You’re all so goddamn needy, you know that?

The Coffin carries on, and Jon rolls his eyes. Wrapping himself in annoyance does little to drown out the fear, but it offers a slight buffer. He’ll take it.

You’re still stalling, he reprimands himself.

With trembling hands he picks up the key, fits it into the lock… and he opens the lid. It lifts easily with only a slight creak, no heft or resistance to it: it wants to be opened, like so many of the other hungry doors lurking around this world, bear traps and snares and spiderwebs all lying in wait for somebody foolish and curious enough to ignore all the alarm bells for just one… peek… inside.

Knock-knock, comes the intrusive thought.

Shut up, Jon shoots back.

The tape recorder clicks on, whirring impatiently in his pocket, as if to urge him onward.

You too, he snaps – but as much as his knee-jerk impulse is to be contrary, he has put this off long enough.

Jon steels himself, takes one last deep breath – savoring fresh air, full lungs, airways clear of dirt and grime and debris – and he begins his descent.

Martin is in Peter’s office, tending to some tedious administrative tasks. His brain feels fuzzy, thoughts sluggish and stunted from the lack of stimulation. The tick-tock of the wall clock drones on and on. He’s considered removing the batteries, but it’s the only company he’s had in days. Complete silence might be worse. Besides, the longer he sits here, the less and less the noise scrapes against the edges of his consciousness – and even when it does penetrate the fog filling his head, he can’t bring himself to care.

If Peter intends for the monotony to highlight his isolation and desensitize him to the absence of… well, everything, it’s working.

Then, between one moment and the next, there’s a shift. It crashes into him, tears through the quiet, and the world around him comes rushing back in, a sharp and blinding and cacophonous flood of sensory input.

There’s a palpable void where one shouldn’t be, and he knows with certainty that it’s distinct from the general sense of absence that he’s grown accustomed to over the past few months. The Lonely feels soft, quiet, gentle – natural, like a cocoon tailored specifically for him. This feels like a knife to the gut, a gaping wound, alarm bells screaming in his mind that something is wrong, wrong, wrong –

“Something’s happened,” he says to himself. He flinches at the sound. It’s jarring, hearing his own voice, raspy as it is with disuse.

Before he even realizes that he’s moving, he’s out of the office and hurrying down the hallway, not bothering to close the door behind him.

“Jon,” he whispers with a passion and urgency that feels alien to him now, thoughts no longer muffled and detached. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he does: Jon’s done something drastic, and given his track record, it can’t be good.

The only thought running through his mind is Jon, playing on a loop like a stuck tape; like the nervous stammering of the person he used to be, intimidated by and enamored with the man in equal measure; like a – like a prayer: Jon.

Martin picks up his pace, making a beeline for the Archives.

End Notes:

The Buried, Round Two: BEGIN.

I might not have much free time to write this weekend, so the next chapter probably won't be ready until next weekend at least. It will have some Martin POV though, FINALLY. This story hasn't had enough Martin screentime yet and that is entirely a hell of my own making, but I WILL remedy it. Also: ACTUAL DAISY CONTENT SOON, I SWEAR.

Citations for Jon's letter to Martin are as follows: MAG 040; 112/007/029/102; 007/150; 020/019; 150; 013; 135; 048/144/007/021; 021; 013/002/032/147/153/013; 161/091/101/089/135; 048/028/067/013; 143/150/008/013; 135/048/009; 013; 150; 013/117; 085/052; 063/124; 123; 011; 123/133; 070/154/123; 133/019/036/011; 094/088; 075; 135; 127; 124/157/050/157/130; 143/107/012/056; 122/012/057; 013; 145/121; 150; 042; 042; 032; 037/136/110; 152/008/101/153/032/129/153; 117/155/013/155; 133/112/152/154/013/051/049.

Citations for Jon's dialogue are as follows, broken down by section: Section 1: MAG 064; 019; 138/139; 019; 058; 148; 121/014/089; 066/135; 043; 096; 138/060/154/060/113/017/005/116/121; 054/022/054/147; 057/091; 155. Section 2: 150/096; 095/006/023/157/139; 125; 047. Section 3: None. Section 4: None.

The cited dialogue between Peter and Martin is from MAG 126. And it probably goes without saying but the Jonah/Elias statement quote is from MAG 160.

As always, you can also just ask if you want to know where a particular line comes from. c:

#tma #tma fic #the magnus archives #long post #tma spoilers

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dayscrazed · 4 years

Conversation

The Lost Book of the White page 57:

"Alec had always secretly found Magnus to be at his absolute most handsome in a suit and was pleased that his boyfriend had gone in that direction."

The Lost Book of the White page 66:

"Alec was disappointed- he loved Magnus in a suit- but Magnus had perhaps chosen wisely to blend in, in black jeans, a sleek black button-down shirt, and a black leather motorcycle jacket. He looked like a sexy urban race-car driver. Alec was in favor of it."

#tlbotw spoilers #shadowhunter quotes #malec #tlbotw #magnus and alec #alec lightwood gay #alec lightwood #Magnus Bane #alec x magnus #The Lost Book of the White #the eldest curses #Tec

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