based on this au where anakin died in childbirth and obi-wan is left alone to raise the twins, but he can’t bear to be near them without breaking down because he misses anakin too much.
aka neglectful father widow-wan
(1.2k words)
“There must be something wrong with me, since Father loves everyone, but he doesn’t love me.” - Luke and Leia, circa 12 years after their birth.
Leia was trying her best to prove to everyone around her, but especially Father, that she was meant to hold a lightsaber and that she had what it took to train as a Jedi. She was standing in front of the Council – various Jedi Masters, padawans and younglings alike –, trying to show her progress regarding her forms. She knew about the multiple sabre forms there existed, but the one that suited her the most was Form V, Djem So. There was something about the fluidity of the form that allowed her movements to flow naturally though her, connecting her with her lightsaber like no other form did.
As she practised her movements for the entire room to see, the idea of spinning her lightsaber with a little twirl made her giggle, thinking it would look so cool when she did that. However, half way through her twirl, the sound of the entrance door opening stopped her in her tracks, making her see just in time how her father walked away from the room without looking back. She felt her heart break as the doors closed behind his back, tears scorching her eyes while she tried valiantly to hold them back.
“Thank you, Leia Skywalker, for a wonderful demonstration,” Master Windu said with a kind smile before motioning Leia to step away from the mat, allowing another youngling to take her place. Luke’s smile – bright and enormous as Leia showcased her progress – had dimmed with their Father’s departure. Luke hadn’t shown his progress to the Jedi, nervous about their Father’s approval. “Now, young Ezra Bridger, step forward.”
“I see you’re making progress with Djem So, young Leia,” Master Koon said to her kindly after she had sat down between him and Luke. She smiled as best as she could at the old Master, even though she knew he was lying to her. Because if she had truly done a ‘wonderful job’ that showcased her ‘progress’ with Form V, then Father wouldn’t have walked away from the presentation without casting a glance back at her.
She continued to disappoint him, no matter how hard she tried.
“Excellent form, young Ezra,” Master Windu said as Ezra stepped away from the mat, high-fiving Knight Dume with a bright smile on each of their faces.
Leia’s insides burned with jealousy at the sight, knowing she would never get to share a moment like that with her father. She was better than Ezra in every possible way, yet Father had the time to share a praising word with Bridger for his ‘achievements in class’ and never for her.
“Luke Skywalker,” Master Windu’s voice called for her brother, making him jump. Leia eyed him curiously as Luke stepped forward, a lightsaber that wasn’t the one he had made after their trip to Ilum clutched tightly in his hands.
It was beautifully crafted, with a ridged hand grip and a solid casing, something in it causing Leia’s insides to hurt at the sight. She had never seen that particular lightsaber before, but there was something about it that was achingly familiar, and called for her.
Ignoring the weird feeling inside of her, Leia saw her brother attempt and fail to perform Form III – Father’s form –, before his movements naturally morphed into Form V. She rolled her eyes at his obvious attempt at copying her, clearly trying to impress their absent father.
“Luke Skywalker!” Their father’s voice echoed throughout the room, startling her from her musings and causing Luke to drop the lightsaber he was holding, a bright smile on his face that dimmed down and died the closer their father got to him.
“Where did you get that?” Father asked her brother once he reached him, before taking the lightsaber from Luke’s hands and clutching it tightly to his chest. “This doesn’t belong to you.”
“I… I found it in your room, Father,” Luke said, his voice shaking alongside his body, as he looked at the floor with embarrassment and shame. “I… I know we’re not supposed to go there, but…”
“Don’t ever touch this again,” their Father said with finality before turning around and leaving the room as suddenly as he had entered it, leaving a deadly silence at his back.
Leia could only stare in horror as Luke remained standing in the middle of the room, tears running down his face, his shoulders shaking with the strength of his cries. She looked around towards the Masters of the Jedi Council, hoping one of them would stand up and comfort her brother, rescue him from being the centre of all the pity she could feel through the Force.
But no one moved, and Luke continued to cry, silently for the entire room to witness.
“Young Skywalker,” Master Yoda started to say before Luke ran away from the room, the echoes of his footsteps muffling his cries. Leia wanted to go after him, comfort him like she always did whenever Father was too busy to play with them.
But she couldn’t move, a glimmer of hope that her Father would return and praise her for her forms made her remain in place. Luke will be fine, she mused to herself after watching Master Tano stand up from her seat and follow after Luke with a thunderous expression on her face.
That night, after everything had been said and done, Leia failed to fall asleep as Luke continued to play with his toy ship that Senator Amidala had gifted him on their last birthday, saying that it was something their dad would’ve wanted him to have. To Leia, she had given her a book on ‘Diplomacy and Politics’, saying that the daughter of the famous Negotiator should know how to traverse through lies and deceits with ease.
Leia treasured the gift as if her father himself had given it to her, knowing that she could prove to him that she would be a perfect companion on his travels for peace negotiation treaties if she only studied hard enough.
But before she could plan any further about a future with her father – as Master and Padawan –, the door of their room opened, surprising her with their father’s face. He looked sad and apologetic as he always did whenever he was in their presence, his eyes barely looking at Leia before focusing on Luke, who was looking at their father with a yearning expression on his face.
However, Father’s expression broke down after he caught sight of Luke’s toy in his hand. His breath got caught in his throat – tears pooling in his eyes – and, without a word, he turned around and closed the door behind his back, leaving the twins engulfed in darkness.
“Well done, loser,” Leia said bitterly before turning her back on Luke to stare at the wall. “Now he hates us even more.”
She ignored her brother’s distress, focusing on her own breathing. Leia could no longer coddle Luke’s moods, as they only served to cross Father even further. She had to prove to her Father that she would be a great padawan for him, and in order to do that she needed to toss Luke aside and focus on herself.
Father would love her if she proved to him that she was better than Luke.
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I was catching up on blood for blood with the new chapter and had a though. If Lucerys other fathers were still alive would he have still ended up married to Aemond?
Short answer: Yes. Probably.
Funnily enough whether Laena is still alive is more likely to have an effect than Leanor and Harwin because if she's alive Aemond doesn't have Vhagar so is a bit less of A Threat. However I feel like even if she did he would still end up with a dragon at some point and become the Capital-P Problem.
And then that's the thing - Aemond is a Problem and one that marrying him to Luke does kind of solve. For similar reasons to in the fic that once he is married to Luke (and especially once Luke gives him a child) he can no longer encourage the bastard rumors because Luke's inheritence is his inheritence (and his child's inheritence).
In some ways Laenor living would make Alicent's side less inclined to the marriage. Because with Laenor still in play it's going to be even harder to put a young kid on the seat and have Aemond as Steward (they have to get rid of Leanor as well as Lucerys and Corlys). But Viserys has final say in that side and he's going to be in support of the marriage. And honestly it becomes a smarter play for Rhaenyra's side - even more likely to end in their advantage than disadvantage so they kind of have to agree to it.
It's what happens after that becomes the question. With Laenor still alive there's less need for Corlys to take Luke (and Aemond) back to Driftmark because there's less urgency to get Luke ready to take the seat - Laenor is still going to inherit first. However getting Aemond to Driftmark is strategically the smartest move (staying with the House most loyal to Rhaenyra's side and harder for his mother/grandfather to get messages to without interception). So they probably still send them there with the justification of teaching Luke what he needs to know for when he rules... eventually.
The biggest change is that Luke gets that bit more of a buffer from the pressure resting solely on his shoulders. He doesn't feel like he has to learn how to govern and figure out how to handle Aemond in as little time as possible.
Although side thing - I think getting Luke to not be passed over for Joffrey is going to be harder. Because the reason in the fic he gets it is because Laenor made Corlys promise he would before Luke presented (and Corlys agreed assuming Laenor would change his mind if Luke presented omega only for Laenor to die soon after the promise was made). It would be interesting to see what would be the card that makes Luke still inherit - "it's the best way to remove Aemond as a Threat" is not going to convince Corlys and I don't think they're so progressive to want to keep an omega heir when there's a beta boy also available.
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