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heyidkyay · 13 hours

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Three

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!

Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx

Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

“I said no.”

Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.

“Give me a reason at least?"

I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?

“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.

“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.

I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”

Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.

“One thing after another with you.”

My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”

The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”

I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it.

“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.

“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”

I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.

Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.

I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”

With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”

I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”

To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep.

Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.

“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”

“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”

Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”

My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.

The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.

He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.

I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me.

Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand.

But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.

Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.

“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.

“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.

“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”

Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.

Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.

When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.

“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”

I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky.

“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs.

“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.

Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”

I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-

“Anyone here?”

I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.

George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”

Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.

“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”

“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”

I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”

Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”

I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done.

Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”

Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.

“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”

It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.

Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.

See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.

Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard.

George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more.

Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.

He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.

I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon.

The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.

I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.

I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated.

“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”

George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”

Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”

I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.

Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”

I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”

He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.”

I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”

Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”

I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.

He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”

I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.

During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.

George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.

“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about.

He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it.

“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.

Or maybe I was just kidding myself.

“Sorry.”

George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”

He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.

“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile.

“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.

I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.

“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."

I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.

Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.

I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.

“What?”

George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.

“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me.

Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”

My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”

We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.

“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.

I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”

That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”

George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”

He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.

His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”

I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.

The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.

I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.

You had me from the start Pulling all the stops out On the down low, secretly But I think you knew your psychology Was working on me Infatuated And doing this all wrong You've got My number and my name And you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going Can I see you every day? Do you love me Like I love you? Ah, you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going

(Song: Ride - Future Love)

It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me.

I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.

His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.

A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.

Not even a second later my phone was in my hand.

Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me?

–

Matty had always had a thing for Sundays.

There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick.

No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him.

There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.

Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.

It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.

Jamie had somehow managed it.

Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.

But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.

It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings.

He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.

There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.

He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.

Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.

Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.

The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”

Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.

This was it, he supposed.

The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.

He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.

The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.

If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal.

He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.

It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.

She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.

Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.

The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.

“You can just hang your-”

“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway.

It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.

“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”

He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him.

Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”

God, it was so fucking strained.

He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.

“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.

“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”

Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”

She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before.

But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.

Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv.

There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.

She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which.

He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.

He found himself smiling at the thought.

It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.

“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down.

Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.

“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.

She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”

Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”

She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”

Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.

The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.

“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.”

Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.

She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”

“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.

“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”

Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”

Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.

“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...”

He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks.

She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?”

“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.

“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”

That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.

Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind.

“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”

Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.

Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”

Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.

“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.”

He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”

He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.

“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”

Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.

“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”

“Said what?”

Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”

Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.

Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”

Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.

“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.

“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”

She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.

“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”

Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.

“Then what?”

Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”

Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.

He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.

It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”

Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.

“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.

“I know.” He answered.

“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.

“I know.”

He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.

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storiesabouthumanandthings · 1 year

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List of terrifying phrases a human may say as a warning you are about to be in danger or hear a horrible story:

Hold my (insert drink, occasionally object)

I got this (results will very)

So what happened was (this indicates a story)

Let me explain (something bad happened that you may or may not know about)

I didn't do it (something bad happened that they may or may not be involved in)

(Insert other crewmembers name) did it (usually means they did it but is trying to blame others)

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, I wish to speak to my lawyer (nearly without a doubt, they did it)

For (insert name) (usually a battle charge, regardless if there is a battle actually happening)

Leroy Jenkins (see above)

Run! (You should start running, don't ask questions)

Duck! (Lower yourself quickly or you will be hit by unknown flying object)

Watch this (this is usually a bad stunt that will end in pain, you usually can't stop them. If you use the phrase "this can not be done" or some form of this, it will only encourage them to prove you wrong)

Fucked around, now we find out (did something and waiting for the consequences)

I would like to see (a person or group, usually a curse word) try that with me (a threat, don't try it with them)

Don't ask questions (don't ask questions, you aren't prepared for horrible answers)

Please fill free to add others

#humans are weird #humans are space oddities #humans are space orcs #warnings

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lady-ashfade · 3 months

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My Oath

day six of celebration marathon

Percy Jackson x platonic!demigod!reader. (God of the unknown because I can’t help myself, he is a oc of mine for my pjo series)

-£ plot: Your father has learned of a new forbidden child. As his number one he sends you to do his bidding. until your loyalty is challenged.

-words: 1k

-£part two?

-£ warnings: angst, plot of murder, new plot, slight spoilers for readers father in “a love watered by blood”, god of the unknown, (Big spoilers. Reader is sent to kill Pecy) , also the song from Epic:the Troy sagas “the horse and the infant” is what this is based off of.

you were no oath breaker.

you bowed at your fathers feet as he sat upon his throne. the place you called home was dark and misty, your fathers doing, it was a place of mistrust but undying loyalty to him. it was you who was called on often as you served at his hand, you proved your worth as a demigod and you became something more when he took you into his ranks. no other gods dared to speak to him and he liked it that way, no fuss or chatting.

they had many secrets. and he could spill them all.

he hated his “family” and they knew it. wars have been taught over centuries and he picked a side with little care. but he did love secrets and nothing was kept from him even in the smallest corner in the world. every whisper was his to hear.

“what is needed of me.” your eyes stayed on the marble floor beneath your knee, your arms thrown over and await his command.

“i have found a forbidden child, again,” he picked at his nails, his body slumped against the throne.

“a son of poseidon, perseus jackson. make his death quick, but i don’t care if it’s painful.”

you slowly looked up at him, you examined his calm and carelessness behavior. a forbidden child was not unheard of to you, as you have been sent to watch a few over the many years. killing was easy for you, no harm came to your mind as the thought of displeasing your father outweighed any death you caused by your hands.

“tell me where to go.” you agreed to the quest.

earth was a strange place, especially since you grew up in a different time. though you watched the mortal realm in the mirror in your room, finding peaceful places and happy memories being created. but it was a curse, no matter how hard you tried to fight it, when your eyes closed you would dream about the horrors of life. maybe it was a way of life getting back at you for being the cause of destruction— a weapon to be used.

creeping into the apartment building, the widow was not able to keep you out since you had many tools. you’ve done things like this, sneak and kill, return and repeat at his command. you never failed— in fear of being destroyed yourself, a gods wrath was a hard punishment for anyone.

the room was dark and only the light from the moon shined in, making things noticeable. the clothes sticked to your skin from the weather that night. drawling your dagger, preparing to kill your next victim and without causing destress or a fight. but it wasn’t a man you saw. it wasn’t a bed.

it was a crib, a few shells hanging above the babes sleeping body.

stepping back in shock and hesitation you stare at the infant. he was so small. he looked healthily. how is he going to cause any harm? you couldn’t kill a child- a baby. someone unwilling to make decisions for themselves. your doubts and thoughts caused your ears to start ringing, the drums getting pressure built on them.

“I can sense you have your doubts,” the deep voice makes your body shiver and look down at the bracelet on your wrist. the only thing your father gifted you, a silver band with a mirror attached in the center. he could see what was happening anytime without fail. all mirrors are a portal for his eyes.

“He’s just a boy- what kind of threat does he pose?” you kept your voice low and hushed to not awake the mother of the babe.

“he is a forbidden child, you know what that entails. you’ve seen it with your own eyes the damage they cause, the wars started with unfair advantages. that child will grow into a soldier, cause chaos everywhere he steps and gets good people killed. you know I am right.” each point he made was the same he used before to justify his actions.

“don’t make me do this.” you plead. you’ve never begged before, never spared a life in all your years. but never, have you been sent to kill someone so innocent.

“you dare beg for his life to be spared? I have given you a order, so do it.” your father snarled. not many times were you under his accusative tone. you could hear his voice echoing through the throne room along with a slam of his hand.

“i have done everything you asked of me,” you sounded so small in defeat, “but I can not do this.”

just like that you were willing to risk everything you have built. a place at your fathers feet, above others. a place to live and thrive. and for what? the answer is when you looked at him there is nothing to defend, nothing but a open book waiting to be filled.

“you don’t have a choice,” he roared through the mirror and you could feel the vibration. “kill him, now.” he demanded as his nails scratched at the chair he seat mighty on.

“after years of faithful service, I obeyed every order and command, I live alone each day in a room filled with people. you may have made me for a weapon to use, to do your job for you but I will no longer be a slave.” for the first time you spoke back.

“one day he will die, but not by my hands.” taking the watch on your hand and slipping it off of you, then letting it fall to the ground. the last thing you see is your father shouting at you, his face grim and frustrated. stomping your foot on the floor you break the glass, the item becomes useless.

glancing over to the babe who looked peaceful and wrapped up in a tight blanket. it’s been forever since you were this close to a baby. as a little girl you wished for a family of your own, only you had a life of a demigod.

but looking at him made you sick to your stomach. a pit of anger for the boy who had cost you everything. the world was his to explore.

you were left with no home, no family to go to. and you had broken a oath. you swore yourself to never fail a quest or go against his wishes but you had, for a son of poseidon?— world must have been coming to a end.

you tried to hate him, you really did. but there was no one left to fight for. the decision was yours to make, his life was worth more then yours could ever be. you left quickly after that, afraid you had been to loud.

and one day, you’ll meet the boy he became.

Taglist: @itzmeme @ravenmedows @maria699669 @purplerose291

#Percy Jackson x reader #platonic percy jackson #platonic percy jackson x reader #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #oc character #angst #slight comfort #warnings

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corinnetheanime · 5 months

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AND IT IS FINALLY HERE!!!! Happy Ecto-Implosion week, everyone!! The artwork and amazing fic collab that has been in the making for the past couple months is finally here for y’all to enjoy!!

Warning for implied character death/s, experimentation, mild violence, and overall mature themes.

It’s been an amazing honor to work with @thelightningstreak for the @ecto-implosion event!!! Her stories (looking at you, CHAINED) are some of my absolute favorites in the entire phandom since I first joined in 2013, and she’s been an amazing partner to work with! I was blown away by the very first draft alone! Seriously, give her some love, and check out her works!! Thank you, Lightning, for collaborating with me on this! It's been a joy to share this with you!! :D

Artwork title: Fiat Justitia, Ruat Caelum

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theywhowriteandknowthings · 6 months

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Warning: Discourse incoming.

I told myself I’d never get involved in these kinds of discussion because I’m a firm believer in “You do you/No Kink shaming etc.” But this one is a fairly serious one. It’s long, I’m not putting a cut in there, but please just hear me out.

There’s a disturbing trend in some fic writing I’ve noticed lately, and I have to say something about it.

We all know I’m a sucker for dark fics, be it CNC, dubcon, even non-con and horror elements, so I’m not here trying to tone/content police people’s writing. I want to make it very clear that this is not about vilifying people who write dark stuff, or things I’m not into. Hell, if I don’t want to read something, I check the tags and warnings and nope out before I get the ick. (As everyone should, there’s no point getting yourself wound up or triggered by content you can just simply scroll by.)

However, this is where my current concern comes in.

I’ve seen lots of very prominent writers not giving adequate warnings or disclaimers about the content they write.

I’ve come across a lot of content where Joel (sorry buddy you’re the worst offender here, Ilu tho) is being labelled as a dom – and even more worryingly labelled as a soft dom – when the relationship is not about safe dom/sub relationships/kink.

If Joel is spanking you so hard you can’t sit down in lieu of “teaching you a lesson” when there’s clear lack of enthusiastic consent (or often any consent at all) this is not s/m, this is abuse.

If you’re having your readers receive physical or sexual punishment for actual life slip ups/non-role play scenarios, you’re glorifying abuse.

If you’re not labelling your fics correctly, you’re being negligent to your readers, and this should be a safe space for us all to read and create without being unduly triggered because we had inadequate or no forewarning.

For example:

Javi P kisses a girl, you make him pay for it in a way that is clearly pre-established (you have to spell it out people) as consensual in your relationship? Kink.

Joel spanking the shit out of you because a man flirted with you in a bar? Abuse.

Din edging you until you cry because you were competing in how much you could make the other jealous in a pre-agreed dynamic? Kink.

Joel denying you sex, or fucking you without prep/making you cum because you did something to annoy him/he doesn’t agree with and you aren’t enjoying yourself? Abuse.

I thought we were over this with the discourse that came about around 50 Shades, but clearly not. So please, tag your fics with appropriate/adequate warnings. As a survivor of sexual abuse and grooming, I need to know if your fic is going to contain and/or glorify these things. Again, I’m not saying don’t write these things, but it is your responsibility to tag adequately.

It’s a simple concept that I see applied across the board with age gaps and power dynamics, and most of the time people get it right. But when posts with 1k+ interactions are explicitly abusive, with no warnings other than S/M dynamics or “soft dom!Joel” when it’s anything but soft, aren’t just triggering to some, they’re harmful.

You can’t have a healthy relationship with Joel (again sorry buddy) if that relationship contains thinly veiled or brazen abusive elements.

If you don’t know the difference between coercive behaviour, sexual or physical abuse, and safe, consensual kink, you need to educate yourself for your own benefit, and that of your readers.

Feel free to reach out to chat with me about this, I’m not here to run and gun, but I will not tolerate any form of abuse or unkindness (on either side of the aisle) here.

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bobattef · 6 months

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in the shadows.

“You still here miss y/n?” The office security guard lightly tapping on your desk causes you to glance up from your computer.

“Oh hey Lars” you smiled tiredly.

“Yeah just finishing up a few bits then I’ll be out”

He just nods politely as he walks away, continuing on one of his routine walks of the building.

You glance up at the timer ticking above you, a little surprised.

Everyone else had clocked out around the sound of the klaxon that would signal an end of the work day.

But there’s you, some time later still, uploading word vomit into your research files.

You yawn quite loudly as you click save and close down your computer.

Tucking your chair back under the desk like you always would.

You grab your coat off the office peg, checking your communication box for any messages, sighing out loud when there’s no new notifications.

Switching the floors light off, you close the lid of the clocking out machine slowly, adding the extra time up in your head.

It’s so dark in the corridors behind you as you squint your eyes into the now shrouded walkway.

*why does Larsy do his nighttime checks in the dark* you shudder to yourself as you pull a small torch-pen out, pressing the button to help eliminate the way to the main doors.

You hadn’t been working in the TVA vaults for long.

Time definitely worked differently here but you knew you had clocked in and back out again a total of 164 times so must be about 5 months now?

You were working your way up to a promotion at the moment, hence the later clocking out time stamps compared to your associates.

“I’m gone now Lars…Goodnight” you shout out as you walked past the security desk at the front of the building.

You were almost out the main glassed doors before you realised he hadn’t shouted his goodbyes back.

You turn around, staring back at the un manned desk you hadn’t spotted a few moments ago.

“Lars?” You call out as you see his empty chair being illuminated by the many tv screens he had on throughout his shift.

Walking slowly back towards it now, you take a small pocket knife out of your coat, flicking the blade open.

You’ve always carried protection on you, often being laughed at by your work colleagues after being told there was never a threat here at the TVA.

Yet here you were, about to use it on anyone and everyone who would be jumping out on you tonight.

As you step past the opening of the table, you spot a pair of shoes sticking out from behind the chair.

“Lars!!” You almost screech as you drop your knife in panic and rush over to where he was laid on the ground.

You couldn’t see much in the dim light but he was definitely unconscious, you search for a pulse and feel relief wash over you when you find one.

“Lars…” you gently call out his name.

“Hey…Larsy!” You say louder now as you slightly shake his shoulder.

“He cant answer you” the deep voice from behind causes you to spin round in panic.

Standing before you was a tall man, wearing a dark suit made up of different kinds of green and black shades.

You worked your line of vision upwards for what seemed like ages before setting your eyes on his.

They were looking deeply into yours, like you were prey.

You glance slightly to your left, catching where you had dropped your pocket knife on the ground earlier.

As you lunge towards it, the mysterious man seems to guess your movement and kicks out, your knife goes skimming across the tiled floor.

“Wha…what did you do to…?” You can’t even finish your sentence before he steps closer to you now. Grabbing you by the collar of your work shirt, he pulls you up to your feet with no effort at all.

You struggle against his grasp as you can feel him start to lift you into the air, your feet dangling, trying to find some sort of surface to land on.

He tilts his head slightly as he tries to work you out.

You weren’t wearing the same armour as the security guard that was passed out beneath him.

You simply looked like an analyst or office book worm of some sort as he runs his eyes over your brown blouse and skirt.

You stop trying to fight him as you can feel his eyes on you, raking your body as you feel your cheeks heat up slightly.

*what is wrong with you* you think internally.

*this..stranger has you by the scruff of the neck, after taking out one of your security guards and the only thing you could think of was how close he was to you, the size of his hands as he held onto you, the darkness that pooled in his eyes as he stared down at you*

“Who are you?” He simply stated as he could see you were having an internal conversation with your self.

“I…I er…” you swallowed as your throat felt dry.

He raised his eyebrows at you stuttering.

“My…name is y/n…” you tell him as he focuses on your lips moving “and er, I’m a strategist” you add on as you start to cough with the restricting hold the man had on your neck.

“A strategist?” He repeated doubtfully.

You had no further words than to nod. You were sure you would either pass out or be sick if you tried to move your voice box.

“Then what’s with the weapon?” The man asked you as you stared back at him confused.

“The knife” he snaps as he can tell you weren’t keeping up with him.

“Protection” you splutter out as he lowers you down slowly, releasing the tightness round your neck a little.

“From?” He asked, genuinely as he drops his hands from you completely.

“People taking out my security guards” you reply back as he chuckles at your quick wit.

“What are you even doing here?” The man asks you as he wonders where you came from.

He had scoped the place out a few times yet he’s never had another in this particular building apart from the one security guard.

“What..what are you doing here?” You ask him his own question as he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Escaping” he smirked as he pointed at you to answer him now.

“Working” you say to him as if it was the most obvious thing to say.

“At this time….alone?” He asks as his mouth curls up into a half smile.

You just shrug.

Your feelings of being scared of the man were dropping by the minute.

You no longer saw this menacing being as a threat the more he spoke to you.

“Well I’d love to stay and finish this, riveting conversation but…” the sarcasm seems to ooze out of his voice as he starts to walk away from you now.

“What about Lars??” You blurt out.

He turns on the spot “what about him?” He shrugs.

“Is he going to be ok??” The concern in your voice alleviates it slightly.

He sighs out as if you were supposed to fully understand.

“He’ll be fine” he tells you “…its a temporary thing. Just think of it as…dreaming” he smirks.

You look between him and Lars now, you shouldn’t believe a word this man says to you yet you do.

You stand at the desk whilst you watch him stalk down the corridors towards your labs.

Disappearing into the shadows.

You finally manage to regulate your breathing as you grab your pocket knife from the floor and think about how to move Lars into a more comfortable position.

But your heart rate is sent rocketing once more as the TVA alarms blare out through the sound system above you.

Your hands fly up to cover your ears as you rush round to the tv screens.

Scanning the many different rooms they project back for the cause of the alarm.

Sure enough, it’s the mysterious man that was now stood in front of the TVA time pad vault.

The room being lit up under the red flashing lights as the alarm almost mimics the movement of them.

You press a few buttons on the keyboard that was in front of you.

Sighing out loud as the alarms come to an abrupt stop, leaving behind a slight ringing in your ears.

You weren’t trained as a security guard but you had read the TVA guidebook to almost everything so knew certain access codes or in this case, control codes.

You slump back on the large swivel chair Lars must of sat on before being taken out unexpectedly.

You didn’t realise you had closed your eyes until you feel them fly open at the voice stood in front of you now.

It was the man again.

This time instead of a cheeky smile on his face, his eyes were narrowed as he frowned.

“Just a strategist hmm?” He snaps at you as you look back at him puzzled.

“How did you disable the security system??” He asks you as you realise what he meant from his comments.

It definitely wasn’t common knowledge how to over ride the alarms and you had known the security guard by his first name.

He steps behind the desk once more as you stay frozen to the chair.

You definitely relaxed around him a few moments ago but now you felt a little scared by the way he was towering over you.

“Please…I erm…I just” your voice waivers as see something glint in the mysterious man’s eye.

He’s lived his life making people afraid of him.

He had great joy knowing others were scared of his presence but when he saw that familiar look of fear in your eyes he didn’t have the normal gloating feeling like before.

This was weird.

Felt deep in the pit of his stomach.

“Hmm” he mumbled as he leans towards you, shaking off the uncomfortable senses.

Your words have escaped your mouth, you had no thoughts as you didn’t know how to explain anything right now.

“I need you” he simply states as you’re taken a back.

“You do?” You ask him, confused at his choice of words.

He exhales a breath out as he knows he doesn’t have the time to explain anything right now so instead he just grabs you by the arm and marches you both down the dark corridor.

Your little legs struggling to keep up with his larger strides.

“Open it” he barks at you as you stand before the time pad vault.

You furrow your eyebrows at him “what for?”

He looks at you as if you were speaking another language.

He didn’t like the fact he had scared you earlier at the security desk but you were wasting valuable time right now.

He definitely needs your help so must remain calm as to get you to comply but your stupid questions grind on him.

“Open it…please” he presses his lips together on the please, you watch as his jaw clenches.

You stare blankly at him.

Why does he want a vault unlocked of time pads when you can just use yours?

“You’re after a time pad?” You ask him trying to clear up the confusion.

He feels like shaking you out of frustration.

You gulp as you can clearly see you’re annoying him.

“Just use mine…” you quietly say to him pulling it out from your TVA issued coat.

“I…” he goes to tell you once more to open the damned door but as his eyes land on the time pad you had in your outstretched hand he’s silenced.

“You have a time pad??” He almost shouts.

“Yeah” you shrug “all strategists do…it’s what we work on” now it’s your turn to act like he’s speaking another language.

Everyone here knew both hunter pack leaders and strategists held the time pads.

He took the device from your hand a little too quickly.

Tapping away on it at speed whilst you stood there watching him.

He flickers his eyes up to yours.

You avoid his stare awkwardly as his eyes start to lose that look of urgency he had before.

As he was just about to press the button to open up a time jump, the door to the vault room is blown apart, causing you to duck in fright as the debris cloud of dust dances around you.

“Hands up!”

“Stay where you are!”

“Drop the time pad Loki!!”

The booming voices of 4 hunters are shouting all kinds of directions to you as you freeze in shock.

You go to turn slowly round to face them as they point their time sticks at you, ready to prune.

Just before you’re able to face them fully, you’re pulled backwards by someone, thrown completely off balance you tumble, landing on something or someone with a thud.

You hear the person cough as you open your eyes, realising that you were sprawled across the chest of the mysterious man.

“Loki?!” You cry out as you try to get back on your feet.

You look around in panic to your new surroundings.

It was dark, it was quiet.

“You’re welcome” Loki says to you as he holds onto the side of your hips now.

Trying to regulate his breathing.

But with you pressed up against him, it’s hard to concentrate on anything else.

“You’re the Loki Laufeyson?” You ask the man as you look up at his face in disbelief.

Please don’t say you just helped the god of mischief escape the hunters of the TVA.

“The one and only” he says cockily as he looks down to where your blouse was straining to keep its buttons done up.

You’ve heard of this Loki variant that had been sent to be pruned by the TVA, but in a change of events that no one would talk about, he ended up helping the TVA, working with them to hunt down variants himself.

“Where are we?” you sound panicked again as you can’t seem to work out the place you were stood in.

Loki shrugs as he wasn’t sure what he typed in that device.

“Timepad Loki!” You raise your voice at him in anger.

He bucks his hips upwards as he fumbles trying to grab the time pad that was tucked safely in his back pocket.

The movement causes your cheeks to heat a little as you can definitely feel something underneath your TVA issued skirt.

He goes to hand it over but stops mid way, why were you so annoyed with him, he literally just saved you from the pruning by the TVA.

Reluctantly, he hands it over as you sit up now, each one of your legs straddling his waist.

His eyes widen at the new position you’re both in as your skirt rides up past your thighs but you don’t notice the look on his face as you focus on the time pad.

The device beeps twice as the light dims away from the cracked screen.

“No!!” You sounded horrified so Loki looks up at you for answers.

“The batteries gone” You barely whisper out.

With the time pad having no power, there was no way to open up another time jump door, no way to choose a different time line, no way to escape.

“You gave me a dead time pad?!” It’s his turn to sound annoyed.

“Fuck!!” You curse out as Loki looks at you, surprised at the tone of your voice.

“Now what?!” You ask the darkness surrounding you.

You feel Loki twitch under you.

You were so caught up in trying to find an alternative escape route that you didn’t clock the compromising position you were in right now.

Loki leans up on his elbows, edging his face closer to yours.

You hardly get a chance to ask him what he was doing before you feel his lips being pressed against yours.

You don’t seem to have any control as you groan into his mouth, the sound causes him to kiss you harder.

He snakes a hand behind the back of your head, almost holding onto you as his tongue now joins his assault on your mouth.

You feel like you’re going to lose your breath as you’re pulled towards him.

He doesn’t break the kiss, you’ve never had a man’s lips be on yours with this much urgency.

Another moan leaving your mouth causes the god of mischief to dig his other hand into the flesh at your hips.

It seems like you don’t want an inch of thought as you start to grind on him, his hardness pressing against the fabric of your skirt.

You feel his hands on you, roaming your body.

The one that was gripping the back of your head so tightly moves down past your chest.

Teasing your hardened nipples that had started to show through your shirt now.

The other hands slip underneath the fabric of your skirt, the feel of his skin on yours causes you to take a deep breath in anticipation.

Just as his fingers started to stroke the now dampened lace of your underwear, you almost jump out of your own skin as you hear the distance shouts of others.

“Fuck! no!!” Loki curses now as he knows he has to stop what he was doing.

You almost froze to the spot, trying to figure out what to do but Loki springs into action.

He lifts you up effortlessly as he stands from the floor, panting slightly from your make out session.

He grabs hold of you under your arm as he starts to run down a corridor, hopefully in the opposite way of the hunters.

His grip tightens on you as he starts to work out what to do, where to go.

He kicks open another door, shoving you inside.

He steps in after you, whilst slowly shutting the door behind him.

“Loki…” you drop your voice down quieter to him as he stands in front of you now, his height allowing him to lean over you to press one ear on the metal listening out.

“Not know” he snaps at you. Trying to strain his hearing to reach further.

You go to answer him back but he places a hand over your mouth, stopping you in your tracks.

You hear the footsteps of people run past the door you were hidden behind as your eyes widen in shock at how close you were just now at being found.

You can feel your heart beating against your chest as fear strikes you yet again this evening.

Your eyes search the darkness for the face of Loki.

Still stood just before you, his hand not moving an inch from its grip across your face.

You can almost hear his quicken breaths also, feel his shallow breathing as his whole body is pressed up against yours.

Your thoughts start running back to what you were doing just a few moments ago.

You lick your lips slightly behind that large hand of his as he tenses slightly, flexing the muscles in his arm that was still pinned one side of your head.

It’s as if he could read your mind as he casts his eyes downwards on you.

You so wish you could see his face.

It was too dark inside this cupboard type place he had chosen to hide you both in.

“We really mustn’t” Loki whispers to you as you look at him puzzled.

You go to say something but the hand over your mouth muffles your words.

“What?” Loki says a little too loudly as he removes his hand now.

“I said…” you hushed at him.

“I didn’t say anything”

“What?!” He looks at you with confusion.

“Oh for fucks sake” you sigh out.

“Is that all the language you speak in?” Loki tuts at you “…profanities?”

You glare at him.

Considering your situation right now, the fact that you’re adding a few swear words into your vocabulary surely isn’t the worse part?!

You feel his smile through the kiss he lands on your lips.

He wastes no time to match the same urgent pace he had been kissing you before.

Before you were so rudely interrupted .

The force of him causes your head to hit off the back of the door you were pinned up against.

The noise causing you both to stop for a few seconds before he nips your bottom lip lightly, giving the all clear.

He pushes his knee up to your centre, the sudden pressure there causes you to gasp into his mouth.

Your hands make their way to his hair, wrapping your fingers around a few strands you tug on them.

“Fuck” he rasps, the humming of his voice vibrating on your lips.

Grabbing one your legs under your thigh he lifts it up, you instinctively wrap it around the back of his waist.

Feeling his hardness push up against you where his knee once was, turns something inside you and you find yourself begging him for more.

“So needy” Loki whispers now as he breaks the kiss.

You’d pout if you could see you.

He chooses this time mocking you, to undo the belt he had on, pulling down on his leathers, his cock throbbing as it strains against the fabric.

You try to wiggle up your skirt now, it puts up a protest as it clung to the leg that was wrapped around Loki’s waist.

The god of mischief seems to sense your struggle as he drops the hold he still had on your thigh, pulls your skirt up to your waist in one quick moment and then returns his hand to place your leg back to where it was.

His move being lightning quick, you were impressed.

He kisses you once more as he frees his cock, he trails the tip over the lace of your underwear as you unconsciously Buck your hips up towards him.

He flattens his palm on the door behind you, steadying himself as he pulls your underwear to one side, his fingers tease your folds as you can’t seem to concentrate on the kiss anymore.

Parting your lips slightly, he presses his cock up to your entrance.

Stalling for a moment as if he wanted to make sure you fully wanted this.

“Loki…please” you whine as he leans into you.

Pushing inside you, his cock being swallowed almost to the base.

He quickly covers your mouth once more with his hand as you moan loudly into his palm.

He knew you would make a sound as he breathes through the urges to come right there and then.

After a few seconds he starts to rock his hips into you, pulling out almost all the way before sliding back, deep inside.

The tip of his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you over and over again.

You want to be vocal, you want to tell him just how good he was at fucking you up against this door but you hold your self back.

Imagine being caught this way.

His hand cups your ass as he quickens his pace.

Digging his fingers into your flesh, you know there will be marks left there.

He grunts as he feels your cunt pulsate around him.

You were going to make him come a lot quicker than he had wanted to.

He wants to fuck you forever he thinks to himself as his movements start to falter.

He tries his best to hold on but the way you were gripping onto him was overwhelming.

It felt like you were made for him and him only as your bodies moulded together inside that small storage cupboard.

You were starting to see stars, you felt Loki’s pace become sloppy as your body was rocked up against that door harder and harder.

You didn’t even care if you were heard now as the sensations you were feeling were too good to even think about stopping.

“Loki….” You whisper out to him as he didn’t even realise he had dropped his hand from your mouth.

He had a hold of both sides of your hips now, holding you in place as he pushed deeper and deeper inside.

He panicked slightly when he thought you had a been a bit too loud so without thinking how you would react, he conjures up his shadows.

The irises of his eyes flashing green as you widen yours in surprise.

‘Is he using his sorcery?’ You think to yourself as you feel a hand move over your mouth once more.

Except this time it was a lot cooler in touch.

The same cool touch you feel trailing down your body, from your neck, across your chest and then down to your most sensitive area.

Your brain working over load as it tried to work out what was happening right now.

Loki’s hands were definitely on you, gripping onto the curves of your hips as his cock still pumped in and out of you.

But these extra touches were hard to decipher.

Like someone else was in this cupboard with you but it couldn’t be possible.

You go to ask him what was happening, what was causing this weird sensation of being touched by another but your thoughts are cut off when you feel the cooler touch move over your clit.

You jerk against the door as the colder temperatures felt so good rubbing over your bundle of nerves.

Loki is in his element as he wishes he could see your face contort in pleasure.

The noises he was hearing, being muffled behind his shadows hand of course, sounded delicious.

You were losing your mind as he put more pressure on your clit as he could feel himself getting closer also.

That familiar feeling starting to knot in your stomach.

The mixture of being fucked so deeply up against that door whilst the pace Loki was moving across your clit was picking up, you weren’t going to last much longer.

You want to scream his name as you come.

It was increasingly hard not to but you couldn’t, for one the shadow clamping over your face wasn’t letting up plus the situation of still being on the run by those TVA hunters scared you into a more quieter groan as you came around Loki’s cock.

The noises inside that small confinement is something he wants to remember forever as the gushing from you sends him over the edge, falling against the door in exhausted bliss.

You both are panting now as you come down from your highs, the cooler touches of Loki’s shadows have gone. The warmth radiating from the both of you are all you can feel now.

He leans his forehead against yours as his eyes remain closed.

He hopes he hadn’t scared you with his shadow play.

“You good?” He asks you, his voice raspy from trying to catch his breath.

“All good” you finally manage to answer him as your place your leg back on the ground, a little shakily.

“Who?…what was that” you ask him as he gently straightens your skirt from being bunched up at your waist.

He just smiles in the darkness.

“All me” he tells you as he grabs you under the chin.

He places a kiss lightly on your lips now as he feels they were swollen slightly.

“Ha” you breathe out.

You had heard stories circulating your offices of this Loki - God of mischief - having magical powers but you would have never believed those powers were to be used on you in such a way.

“Loki…” you whisper out to the dark at him.

“Mmm?” He replies, still lost in the moment.

“How are we getting out of here” you sounded worried as the cloud you were riding on starts to land back on reality.

“I do believe the coast is clearer the longer we are inside this cupboard” he answers you.

You start to chew your lip with worry as you think.

“We’d just have to bide our time better?” Loki smiles now as he can see you were concerned “I’m sure we can think of something to do whilst waiting?”

“Only if your shadows come out to play again” you laugh, suddenly feeling safe with the god stood before you.

#warnings #over18 #smut #pov #loki x reader #tva loki #shadow play #marvel

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madcat-world · 11 months

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Over the Other Side of the River - IrenHorrors

#Over the Other side of the River #IrenHorrors #folklore #warnings #monsters #magic #transformation #dark fantasy #digital art

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elsewhereuniversity · 3 months

Note

before you enter the world next to ours, remember it is always november there, and your guide has teeth sharper than yours

#warnings

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fog-world · 11 months

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#signalis #videogames #survival horror #warnings

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heyidkyay · 21 days

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-One

Matty Healy x reader

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: This is a long one, it took me a while but hopefully the waits been worth it? EMOTIONS is all I'm going to say.

Warnings: Lots going on- talks of car crashes, alcohol abuse (both in the past) also some previous thoughts on trauma and different coping mechanisms

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

It takes a second for change to implement itself, though it can take a while longer for its realisation to truly hit.

…

I could hear him.

Bustling his way around my kitchen, singing quietly as he worked on the breakfast he’d promised the night before. Tins clattered, the kettle whistled, and the fridge door rattled closed, all whilst I padded my way towards him, pausing in the entryway to simply take in the sight I’d been gifted.

I grinned over at Teddy, who was currently tiptoeing on the wooden stool I had tucked away for whenever he felt inclined to help me cook, and then at Matty who seemed happy enough with making him giggle whenever he chose to lean in close to sing by his ear.

“Thinking this through… It's like, one,”

“..TWO!” Teddy laughed back when Matty pointed at him, beaming brightly at the sight of the man’s all too amused face.

“Yeah, ‘cause I'm in love with you-”

“I-I-I-I!”

It was something I’d never thought to even picture, let alone see, my son staring up at a man with such adoration and pride. The two of them simply belonging. The whole scene made me ache with a wanting for it to never stop, but even the best of things had to come to an end I supposed.

Matty turned, a smile painting on his features, only to pause when he caught sight of me, watching them from the doorway. He narrowed his eyes, then gave me a sly smile, before he placed the plate he’d been holding down on the counter and shuffled on closer, arms stretching out towards me as he continued to sing along to his own song. I mean, the ego on him.

“… I’m in love with you.”

It was hard going, attempting to dampen the grin that pulled at the corners of my mouth, especially when Matty wrapped his arms around my hips and started to sway us to and fro. He raised his brows up at me, fully expecting me to finish off the song for him, so I rolled my eyes and laughed the final line out, accompanied by a much louder Teddy, “I-I-I-I-I.”

Matty leaned in close to press a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth, his tangled hair tickling my cheek. He chuckled lowly to himself when I wrinkled my nose at the feeling and tried to escape from his hold, but did eventually let me go.

“What are you even making?” I asked the pair of them around a fond smile, crossing the kitchen to ruffle Teddy’s curls and open up the little window there. I sniffed lightly. “Did you end up burning something too?”

Matty rolled his eyes at that and shook his head with a tut, before he moved to pick up his plate once more, sliding past Teddy and I to grab at the toast which had just popped up. “No.”

“Liar.” I laughed with Teddy, picking him up and settling him on my hip whilst Matty turned his back on us to start buttering the bread. “What’s with the big breakfast then anyway? I thought you had to record today.” I asked him, praising Teddy quietly for the way he’d spooned some sugar and two teabags into a pair of matching mugs for us.

“Later on,” Matty answered me in a quiet murmur as I peered over his shoulder to nick a fresh piece of toast. “Oi!”

Grinning around the bite I’d just taken, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t completely charred. “Better than the last batch.” I told him honestly and with a wry smirk.

Matty just shook his head at me, but even as he turned back to the task at hand I could see the tiny beginnings of the smile he wore. “Said I could cook.”

With a sarky hum, I could only reply, “Does toast even count as cooking?”

I was simply swatted away with a tea towel in hasty retort and Teddy squealed, wriggling to be let down.

“Okay, okay!” I relented with a laugh of my own before I slid on over to press a grateful kiss to the side of Matty’s neck. “It’s very good, merci mon amour.”

I pulled away with a grin when I felt him tense beneath me, gesturing to Teddy for him to go ahead and grab the milk for us from the fridge whilst I began to pour the hot water into the tea he’d started.

“What are you up to today then?” Matty asked after having cleared his throat, tossing the butter-covered knife into the sink before he looked over at us. He thanked Teddy proudly when the little monster hurried back from dumping the tea bags in the bin to point at the man’s given cup. “Lifesaver!”

Teddy giggled happily.

Matty’s question had me chewing on the inside of my cheek as I went about lifting Teddy into his usual seat at the kitchen table and laying a plate in front of him. I smoothed down his tousled hair and didn’t quite look in Matty’s direction when I finally said, “You know, the usual… Quick trip to the shops, phone mum, speak to Finn, maybe pop into the park. I hear they’ve put in this new little greenhouse by the pond, you know, just across the bridge?”

I’d thrown it in there, hoping that he might just brush over it. But then Matty didn’t offer me an answer of any kind, so with nothing else to occupy myself with I slowly peered over to where he still stood, propped up against the kitchen counter.

He was staring down at the bowl of fruit he’d prepped sometime earlier, almost as though the grapes had suddenly grown legs and the banana pieces had turned purple. I sighed quietly to myself and felt my shoulders drop an inch before crouching down to whisper in Teddy’s ear, “Go turn on the tele for me, yeah? We can eat on the sofa today.”

Teddy’s entire face lit up at the very prospect and was so eager in his haste to hurry into the living room that he almost toppled out of his chair. I chuckled in fond exasperation, helping him down and handing him his plate with a quiet caution before allowing him to run off.

It was then that I turned my attention back to the main issue at hand.

We hadn’t spoken much of Finn and what had happened back at the studio. I’d given Matty his space after it had all gone down, allowed him the time to mull it over and hopefully forget the words that had been said, but I knew that had mostly been wishful thinking on my part.

Still, I was kicking myself for it now. We’d been good. Things had really been looking up; at work and at home, with Teddy and Matty, and then with Matty and I. Stupidly, I had thought that this might just be something we could have simply plastered over and left to settle, because admitting to the fact that things weren’t alright between two of the most important people in my life just wasn’t something I was ready to face yet.

I’d been selfish in that regard though, it seemed. Because of course Matty had taken the brunt of it all and pretended to shrug it off like it was no skin off of his nose. Leaving me to realise all too late just how much this whole thing had affected him.

“Matty.” I called to him softly before I gently rested my hand on the crook of his arm, testing if I was welcome. When he didn’t immediately shy away from my touch, I slid in behind him so that I could press my forehead to the curve of his back, to where that little dip in between both of his shoulder blades resided.

Thoughtlessly, my fingers trailed over the hem of the jeans he’d thrown on that morning, toying with the two belt loops which sat at the very centre.

We stood there for a long moment in the quiet space of the kitchen, the food going cold but neither one of us really caring. It was only when I felt some of that tension finally ebb in his shoulders that I slowly wound my arms around his middle, smiling slightly when I felt his hands take hold of mine at his front.

“I hate this.” I admitted to him, voice so faint it was muffled by the fabric of his t-shirt. His fingers squeezed my own.

“I know.” He told me after a small pause and I felt him raise his head to gaze out of the small window sat opposite. “I know, Squeaks. Me too.”

I squeezed back.

“I’m sorry we haven’t spoken about it either. That I let it fester. I just wished, hoped even, that you might not linger too much on it, that things would- I don’t know, just end up working out. But I was stupid.”

Matty heaved a weighted breath and I let my eyes slip closed at the motion before he carefully turned in my grasp. He stopped to stare down at me, lifting a hand to tuck a strand of stray hair behind my ear, thumb brushing over a whitened scar I had yet to hide with makeup.

“Don’t. There’s no need.” He murmured to me, though his gaze was focused on the slow movement he’d just made. “Talk to him. He’s your mate, it’d be weird if you didn’t. But, I don’t know. Reckon I just might need some time. That alright?”

I was already nodding before he could even finish his sentence, more than okay with that. “‘Course it is. Though I don’t know much about talking with him, I’m betting on a screaming match. I’m still fuming with how it all went down.”

Matty gifted me a soft chuckle, and although it was hollow he had tried and that was what mattered most to me. It would take time to move past this, I could understand that. “Let him explain first, yeah?”

I frowned, brow pinching with it. “What do you mean? What’s he got to explain?”

He smiled, one of those soft dopey ones of his, the kind he often gave me whenever I’d said something silly or he was humoured by my confusion. “I get it, Mouse.” He sighed quietly, “I don't like how he went about it, it was cheap, shitty even, but he was just looking out for you, babe.”

My frown deepened and I didn't care to give his words much thought. “There’s looking out for me and then there's being a massive prick, Matty.”

With a huffed breath of a laugh, Matty trailed his thumb down my jaw to skirt over the bottom edge of my lip. His eyes finally met mine. “He went about it the wrong way, but he’s been good for you, baby. Looked after you and Teds for years, got you through some hard times, and so for that I give him a little leeway.”

My expression softened.

Matty’s fingers pinched my chin as he coaxed me back up to meet his gaze.

“Do that for me?” He asked, and who was I to say no to an ask like that?

Instead of answering him though, I simply leaned in and kissed him sweetly, cradling his jaw in my hands so that I could thumb over the tops of his cheeks. I wondered, momentarily, where I’d gotten so lucky.

–

A kid in the studio had both its perks and disadvantages, Matty had soon come to see.

Squeaks had been messaging Finn not long before he’d gone to set off, slowly pulling out some clean clothes from the ever growing pile he kept adding to each time he went round to her flat, whilst Teds completed his phonics, sat on the bed.

He’d kept calling out to Matty whenever he’d stumble onto the next, asking him to sound it out for him before trying to memorise it himself. Matty had enjoyed it- enjoyed all the time he spent with the little monster as a matter of fact- but helping him with the lessons he knew that Teddy would soon carry on further into his life… He didn’t know, it just settled something within him. Made him feel needed.

He hadn’t ever felt much of that.

Anyway, Squeaks had come into the bedroom just as he’d been tugging on a jumper, one she had said she’d liked the last time he’d worn it, and mentioned that she had to get ready to drop Teddy off round Adi’s so that she could head on over to meet Finn.

Matty had tried to keep his expression fairly neutral each time she mentioned the man. Because he hadn’t lied earlier when he’d asked for her to give her mate the benefit of the doubt. But it still irked him. The whole situation did, in truth. See because he knew that he was running on fucking borrowed time here with her. He’d never claimed to have been a lucky man either, so he knew that something was bound to happen sooner or later. He was merely praying that he’d be able to hold onto this small bubble of peace he’d found for himself for as long as he possibly could.

Teddy had appeared put out by the fact that he would have to head on over to Adi’s, who still lived with her elderly grandmother. All pouty and sweet looking, proper cute in actuality, and Matty had honestly gone and spoken before his mind had even had a chance to catch up with his massive mouth.

Mouse had been just as surprised by his offer to let Teds tag along with him down to the studio, spilling out claims that it would be fine with the guys (who’d yet to even meet the tyke) and that they weren’t actually working on anything too big that afternoon (just recording the ending of a session). And even though Matty hadn’t exactly asked the lot of them beforehand either, he figured it to be true enough.

And with the relief that had visibly fallen off of Squeaks at his reassurance, Matty hadn’t had it in himself to regret the offer. So with that, he’d set to helping her get Teddy ready for the day and then headed out the door.

Thing was though, the last time he’d ever gotten the tube with a little kid had been years before when his mum had visited with Lou. And back then she’d been the one to worry over his every move, not wanting to lose him in the crowd or have him swept under a carriage. Gruesome yeah, but it was a real fucking fear Matty realised.

This time around it had been his turn though, and God, did he feel sorry for all the shit he’d given his poor mum throughout the years. Was this why parents looked so tired all the fucking time?

Teddy was good enough though, curious sure, always asking questions and pointing at everything, but he listened, held onto his hand and didn’t ever wander off. He’d enjoyed counting the stops on the train too and didn’t think much of the few stares they’d gotten on the platform and again when they’d sat down.

By the time they’d made it to the studio, Matty had felt as though he’d just gone and ran a half marathon.

It was only when Teds had crowded into his trouser leg upon first walking through the entrance that he realised that this was just as new to Teddy as it was to him, and the fact that he was now being forced into an unknown setting probably didn’t make things much easier for the kid.

Still, he had managed to perk up on the small tour Matty had given him. Wanting to ease his nerves before they ventured much further, it had just been the two of them wandering the halls aimlessly and simply nodding or smiling at the very few people who passed them by.

It was only once Matty had figured it time to head into the room the band usually booked did Teddy quieten again.

“Where’ve you been? Only texted you like twenty times!” Matty heard George huff from around the short corner they were hidden behind after he’d called out to let them know that it was just him.

Matty paused by the door to cast a glance down at Teddy, but the kid was already looking at everything the walls had to offer; the big plaques with the even bigger names, the posters and many album covers that dotted the dark paint. It was only when Matty crouched down to level with him did Teddy glance back.

“You alright, monster?” He asked quietly, wanting to give Teds a second to wrap his head around things. Matty noted that he was back to chewing on his lip again, eyes wide and unsure, but Teddy gripped onto the hand Matty silently offered him.

After a moment, Teddy nodded at the question and Matty gave him a hopeful smile. “Good, ‘cause imma need you to kick this sorry lot into shape for me, alright? I mean, I know I’m good but they can’t just depend on me for everything, can they?”

He was gifted a quiet giggle, one which eased Matty’s mind a tad.

“Matt!”

Matty rolled his eyes at the shout of his name then shook his head mockingly at Teddy, who seemed to have jumped a bit at the beckon. “Told you, didn’t I?” He tutted playfully to the boy, rolling his eyes too for added effect, “Fall apart if I’m not here.”

Teddy was back to smiling now, “Like mum.”

Matty laughed at the comparison, certain that Squeaks would say that she had a much harder job with the show than he did here in the booth. But Matty wasn’t too inclined to disagree, she worked far too hard in truth.

“Exactly, mate.” He replied anyway, then nodded in the direction of the many voices that were bouncing their way towards them, watching as Teddy peered round him once more, “You think you’re gonna be okay?”

Teddy blinked and then looked over towards him, it was in moments like these which Matty saw just how much he resembled his mum, he reckoned it was those big eyes of theirs that held so much emotion.

“Yeah.” The boy finally breathed out and so Matty squeezed his hand just once in support, before lumbering back to his feet. He stole a quick breath for himself and then started leading them both further inside.

George was stationed where he always was, by the decks, surrounded by laptops and many a monitor. Ross was sprawled out on the beanbag they’d lugged in on day three, fiddling with the bass he held in hand. Hann, however, had chosen to sit nearest to the door and so he was the only one to glance upon at their nearing footsteps.

Matty watched on as a flash of surprise flickered across his mate’s face. Brows rose and a slow blink was seen before Adam finally smiled, looking every inch the father Matty knew him to be.

“Just who might you be then?” Hann greeted cheerfully whilst tucking his mobile back into his trouser pocket. He didn’t make a move to get up off the settee corner though, something which Matty felt immediately thankful for, it seemed neither of them wanted to crowd the kid just yet.

It was with that greeting though that Ross’s head finally shot up and George turned to face them in his big fancy chair. The pair of them flicked both alarmed and shock filled gazes to Matty, who did his very best to ignore their all too familiar mugs.

“This is Teddy.” Matty acknowledged, crouching down once more so that Teds could lean further into his side whilst his wide eyes surveyed their way about the rest of the room. Matty wondered what it must’ve felt like for him, struggling to recall moments from his own childhood when his mum and dad had brought him along to their interviews to sit in the audience.

“Teddy love, these three doughnuts are my mates. You remember, the ones I’m in a band with?”

Matty let Teddy have a second, waiting quietly as the little boy dragged his gaze back towards him with parted lips, he blinked and then nodded, hands wringing the sleeve of Matty’s jumper.

Matty merely smiled, bringing the kid in closer to press a quick kiss to his head of hair. “Look, Teds. See that one there, with the funny face? That’s Hann.” He was delighted to hear Teddy’s soft laughter, however muted it was, even as Adam scolded him with an unimpressed glare. “Then in the corner there, that guy?” Teddy dipped his chin, eyes trained on the bearded bloke who was grinning away like a twat, “That’s Ross, he looks like a giant but cries when he’s hungry.”

“I do not!” Ross shot back scathingly, narrowed eyes pointed at Matty which only proved to fuel Teddy’s quiet chuckles.

“Yeah alright, MacDonald.” Matty ignored whatever else Ross attempted to say after that, rolling his eyes theatrically towards Teddy before he gestured over to where George was sitting in his chair, pushing those pretentious sunglasses he often wore up onto his shaved head. “And that one there, that’s G.”

Teddy leaned in close again to whisper in Matty’s ear, “Drums.”

Matty chuckled despite himself, loathing the fact that of course Teds would have remembered the drummer. Most did. “Yeah, mate. That’s him.”

George quirked a brow at the hushed conversation shared but said nothing on it, at least not then. Instead he just waved Teddy on over, “You want to come see? Got a ton of buttons you can press.” He added as though he was trying to entice the kid.

Matty dampened the mirthful grin that crawled up onto his face when it seemed to work though, even as Teddy tugged him along by their joint pair of hands.

By the time Matty finally got around to stepping into the booth to record a few verses a while later, Teddy felt comfortable enough to wait for him just outside the door with the three giant idiots he’d left him with.

–

A stalemate.

That was where we were currently sat.

Even with everything that had gone down, him starting this whole mess, I had been the one to go to him. To his loft where he worked most days when he wasn’t with clients, or visiting galleries.

Finn had welcomed me in with his usual hello through the intercom, buzzing me up into the building and then meeting me just past the front door. He’d been kitted up when I’d entered, still in his apron and covered in paint, the latter of which he was trying to wash off when I first spotted him.

He’d had the kettle already going and he smiled slightly after asking me how I’d been. I’d been truthful, said that I was doing good- all things considered.

There’d been an awkward pause at that, the two of us unsure on where we should then go with the encounter, but the kettle had whistled and on instinct I had turned to grab the mugs.

He had nodded gratefully, but then gestured me over to where his colourful sofa sat by the large open bay windows, joining me with two steaming brews not a minute later.

“How’s Teds?”

I licked at my lower lip at the question, peering into the still swirling mug. “Good, on Easter break soon enough.”

“What have they been working on then?” Finn asked next, because we both knew this was a safe topic, an easy starter.

“Phonics at the moment,” I replied with a small smile that couldn’t quite be helped, recalling the way Teddy had puttered around after Matty this morning calling out each sound he’d needed to learn. “He sounds them out after breakfast most days and then again at night.” We shared a brief smile, before I mentioned, “Matty’s been helping too.”

Finn hummed.

I pressed my lips together to keep from blurting out everything I wanted to say at the sound of it, attempting to stick to the plan I’d formed on my way over here. Letting Finn open up on his own, rather than come in all guns blazing.

“How is that going then?”

My brow pinched as I peered over at him from across the settee, “What, with Matty and I?”

Another hum, though this one was accompanied by a slight nod.

I was wary of how to answer Finn, especially after having learnt what the man truly thought about our whole relationship, but figured I should at least be honest.

“We’re happy.” I love him. “He’s good for me, I think.” It terrifies me. “He brings out a part of me that I haven’t seen much of since- I don’t know, maybe my first year of uni?” I let go of a breathy chuckle, picking at the wrinkled hem that sat at the knee of my jeans. “It’s been, really nice.”

When I chanced a glance back up, it was only to find Finn already looking back at me, his expression carefully set, almost as though he was trying to suss out any sort of lie in my answer. I waited a second and then he smiled. Nothing less than genuine, and I felt my whole body relax at the sight of it.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted.” Finn spoke softly, placing his cup down on a side table to slide on a tad bit closer. He rubbed at the back of his wrist before settling his hands in his lap, “I shouldn’t have gone about it the way I did, I just- You know I care so much, Mouse. And this is me in no way asking to be let off the hook or anything of the like, but, you have to remember I was there through it all.”

Frowning slightly at his words, I followed Finn’s prior motion, putting my own mug down so that I could pull a leg up under me, settling nearer.

He let go of an exhale, “I was there when you found out about Teddy, I was there before that and then after. I saw the line of broken hearts you left in your wake, chasing this thrill you sought so hard to find, and all of the games you wanted to play.”

He took my hand then and I just let him, thinking on his words, on how it must have seemed to someone else looking in from the outside. I knew I’d been a right mess after leaving home.

In truth, I’d been a mess since the night of the accident, when my whole world had been flipped on its head, turning me into this scarred little kid. Leaving me not only alone, but wanting to chase after everything I felt I’d missed out on because of it the second that I’d gotten the chance. Which had meant finding friends and casual sex, bar hopping and clubbing for days on end, looking for the next best thing to simply entice or excite me.

Finn had been there.

He’d been there through most of it, if not it all. He had watched me jump from guy to guy, get my stomach pumped at the local A&E, not just once but three times. He’d been the one I had turned to in my lowest moments, when I’d felt dirtied, when I’d just wanted to cry, or to merely laugh. He was there.

I could understand what Matty had meant now.

‘He looked after you and Teds for years, got you through some hard times, and so for that I give him a little leeway.’

“I can still picture your face, you know.” Finn murmured, stare fixed on the tight hold I now had on his hand. “That night you turned up at mine after finding out that you were pregnant. You looked a fucking state, soaking wet from the rain and wearing only your pjs.” We shared a light chuckle that echoed before drifting off. “It broke me, to see you like that.”

“I know.” I whispered in a rasp, emotions clinging to the back of my throat.

Finn only smiled sadly. “But it worked out. Enough that you seemed happy enough with what you had. And I know that Teddy will always be enough fro you, but you deserve so much. You deserve to live and to love, to have that family you’ve always dreamed of.” I went to protest but he just shook his head, “I know it’s what you want, Mouse. You don’t have to say anything for me to notice the looks you give other parents in the park, or the kids who meet their mums and dads in the school playground. I can see how much you want that, and not just for Teds. But for you too.”

I swallowed thickly, feeling all too seen suddenly.

Finn squeezed my hand, forcing me to meet his gaze once more. I hadn’t even realised I had shied away. “Does he do that? Does he give you that hope?”

The inside of my cheek had practically been bitten raw these last few days, but it didn’t stop me from chewing on it again as I looked over at Finn with a watery stare. “I think so.”

With a slow, albeit fond, tilt of his head, Finn hauled an arm over my shoulder to crowd me into his side. The two of us huddled in close on his artsy sofa that would look so out of place anywhere else.

I smiled at the thought.

“If he means that much to you, then I’ll make up for what I did. What I said.” Finn reassured me, his voice quiet in the large expanse of his loft. I hadn’t actually expected it to go this way. “But I do want to know. I want to make sure that he knows that he’s not just getting you out of this, that Teddy isn’t a deal breaker here. That he’s grown enough to understand the implications and repercussions of his life and whatever the fuck goes on with it. That he is clean-”

I opened my mouth, guard jumping right back up. But Finn just tucked my head under his chin, hand gripping at my shoulder enough to keep me there with him.

“Sobriety is hard. I understand that. When it finally comes to light that he actually is with you, that means Teddy too, and it’ll be a fucking mess. I want to make sure that he won’t fuck up and throw it all away the second shit gets hard.”

Inhaling, I could only nod. I knew what he meant, it was something I had thought about an awful lot. Too much in fact, I’d worried enough over it that I was still so wary over whether or not to broach the topic with Matty himself. But I hoped, for the first time in a long while.

And that had to be enough for now.

–

Finn’s had been an emotional affair, but not a place I’d lingered too long after our initial apology. We both still needed some time to process and to lick over our wounds.

I’d been more than thankful for it though, it had been a real weight off of my shoulders in truth, because knowing that there was a chance to move on past it without having to pick and choose, or divide my time, was something I hadn’t really held out hope for.

I was a pessimist at heart.

But that being said, I’d been quite optimistic about Teddy’s few hours spent with Matty- alone. Which should’ve been daunting in retrospect, insane even, and had probably once been, but Matty had quickly come to prove himself not only to me, but to Teddy too. So although I’d been cautious, I hadn’t necessarily been quick to stamp out the idea.

The last little excursion the pair had been on without me had gone down a treat, with Teddy having been tuckered out and fast asleep the second he’d gotten into bed, and Matty having bonded further with him somehow.

Then there had been the whole ‘I love you’ mess.

And God, if anyone would’ve told me that I’d have been the one to say it first I would have laughed in their face. Cackled loudly enough to be heard three streets over and on the very urge of wetting myself. But then exactly that had happened.

The words had been lingering in the corners of my mind for a few weeks before last night. Tittering, almost. Having started popping up around Christmas time, with the unannounced gift giving ceremony we’d shared and the incredible bond Matty seemed to have formed with my son. And had then settled in not long after that demo I’d received and the midnight visit where Matty had turned up at my doorstep in a downpour.

I hadn’t loved.

Not really.

I’d loved people, friends and family. Sure.

But someone to keep? Someone that I could call mine?

No, that had never really felt like much of an option for me. And Matty… he’d sort of come out of nowhere, hadn’t he? This mess of a man, but so very wonderful in his own way. He had really crept up on me, and looking back it almost felt as though it was bound to happen. Us, I meant. It felt strange to imagine it any differently.

Messages now

I’m here! Come get me, it’s freezing!!

It didn’t take long before his telltale pop of curls emerged from the main entrance to the same studio I had found him perched outside of during the aftermath of the big mishap with Finn. It almost felt like coming full circle with our decision to have me meet the pair of them here after just having talked with Finn.

Matty’s grin was infectious as we moved to meet one another in a quiet hello, his arms catching themselves around my middle whilst I buried my face into the curve of his shoulder.

He was warm, that was my first thought even as he pressed a chaste kiss to my head, enough so that I didn’t mind the fact that he kept me tucked up under his arm as he pulled away to lead us back inside the building.

“You get here okay?” Matty asked me once the door had rattled shut behind us, his voice travelling in the sparse lobby like area I’d yet to get acquainted with.

Humming, I answered his question with a nod, “Yeah, walked most of it, Finn had a client call out of the blue.”

Matty’s cheeks hollowed a tad but he hummed too before tilting his head over to the right, we started to walk that way. “It go alright then?”

I let go of a heavy breath, eyes surveying every inch of the studio as we wandered further inside, “As well as it could have, I ’spose. It’ll take time, I reckon, though he wants to make it up to you, too.”

Matty appeared to blink at that, the words seemed to have caught him by surprise, but he didn’t falter in his wandering, leading me down a narrow walkway.

“Are you up for that?” I pushed.

He wet his lower lip in thought, dipping his head at a maintenance worker who passed us by before looking back at me. “Told you, I’d give him a little leeway. But I wanna know more about what you spoke about first. If that’s alright with you.”

I was nodding away before he could even tack that last bit on, “Of course, I wouldn’t think not to, in truth.”

I was gifted a sweet smile and quick peck to the cheek before Matty paused, his hand catching on the handle to a heavy door. Soundlessly we slipped past it, Matty closing it slowly behind us to stop it from banging against its hinges and alerting the rest of the room’s occupants to our sudden arrival. Not that it would’ve been all that easy a task, what with the noise that consumed you the second you entered.

Matty smirked at the look that must’ve crossed my face at the sound before he held a finger to his lips, signalling me to keep quiet. I rolled my eyes but took the hand he held out towards me, the two of us creeping over to the corner that gave way to the real chaos that greeted us beyond.

First thing I took notice of was the loudmouth four year old who had seemingly taken charge of the band’s rehearsal, a sight which had me biting my lip to muffle my sudden hysteria.

George was seated by a stretched desk full of slides and buttons, elbows rested on the tops of his thighs whilst he listened animatedly to Teddy’s thoughts on whatever he had Ross and Hann tinkering about with.

The latter two were just holding onto their instruments, Ross stood with his bass and nodding along to what strings Teddy pointed at, whilst Hann was told to ‘look happier’. Something Matty had immediately snorted at, endlessly amused by Adam being told to liven up by a kid who’d only been out of nappies for a little over a year and a half.

The snort seemed to catch George’s attention though because his head shot over at the sound, which in turn forced the rest of the room to follow.

I heard Teddy’s gasp before he came bounding over, wearing a pair of sunglasses that probably cost more than my monthly rent.

“Alright, lovie?” I laughed, swiping up an excited Teddy before he could barrel straight into my legs. “You been having a good time?”

Teddy’s enthusiastic nod was enough to assure me of that but then Ross spoke up, “Should hope so, been hounding me to get this bassline right for ages, ain't you, mate?” He smiled at the giant grin he received in turn before nodding over towards me, “He’s got a proper good ear though. Should get him into it soon, especially if he likes it.”

Blinking, I could only look back down at Teddy, who was now informing Matty on everything he’d missed out on in the sparse moments he’d been gone in a tangent like ramble.

George sniffed as he made to walk on over to us which forced me to glance up again. Hann had started to take off his guitar strap whilst Ross went back to fiddling with his strings once more. Seeingly wanting to get whatever he was working on down before he had to leave for the day.

“He’s a good kid.” George commented to me, watching on as Teddy reached out to be taken by Matty, the man not even second guessing the motion of catching the boy under his arms and settling him on his hip. “And Ross ain’t wrong either. He seemed to really enjoy himself, had him messing about with the console for a bit and Matty even got him to play a couple chords on the guitar for us.” He chuckled lowly, a soft sort of smile breaking up his typically stoic features.

“Hope he wasn’t too much for you guys, Matty reckoned you’d all be alright with him tagging along but I didn’t even think to double check.” I mentioned, eyes caught on the way Teddy was now so enthralled by the story he was telling both Matty and Hann, arms stretched out wide as he exaggerated something or other.

George was shaking his head when I glanced back at him, “It was nice. Having him here, but seeing Matt with him too.” George’s mouth thinned when he lifted a hand to tug on his ear, “I didn’t think he could be like that. It’s strange, him letting someone else hog the limelight whilst he’s sat on the outskirts.”

We both shared a fond chuckle, because I could see what he meant but also, “He’s taken to Teddy better than I expected, really. It’s something I’m most thankful for, as well as the fact that Teddy seems to really like him too.”

My smile was warm, I could tell, and when George caught a glimpse of it I got to watch him almost mimic the gesture, as though he was thankful for it all too.

“You’re good for him.”

My breath caught a little at that, but I kept on smiling as I peered over at Teddy and Matty who were giggling between themselves whilst Hann, and now Ross, had seemingly taken to shaking their heads at the pair in indulging amusement.

“He’s good for me.”

…

The walk home from the studio had been spent hand in hand. The three of us just padding along the narrowing pavement, Matty more often than not trailing alongside the curb so that we could keep it up.

Teddy seemed to enjoy it though, even more so when Matty and I had started up a game with him, lifting him up off his feet so that he could swing back and forth in midair for a few brief moments.

By the time we’d made it home we were all just content to find something to eat and curl up in front of the tele, me listening to Teddy tell me all about his day with Matty whilst Matty pulled my feet into his lap.

He put Teddy to bed not long after, upon the boy’s sleepy request, and had returned about fifteen minutes later, having read a story and bundled Teddy up under his duvet covers. It had been then that I’d gotten to tell Matty more about the conversation I’d had with Finn, rehashing his words and even delving a little deeper into my past with him.

“How long have you known him again?” Matty asked me, thumb trailing back and forth over the jut of my knee whilst the tv played on low.

“Only since the first year of uni.”

Matty appeared quite surprised by that, he said so too. “Seems like longer.” I grinned tiredly at his musings, eyes squinting with it as I leant further into his side.

“It does a lot of the time, but sometimes it doesn't. Wasn’t lucky enough to have been gifted a group of bandits and made to start a band.” I teased, not unkindly, appreciating the way his hand travelled up to run his fingers through my hair. I peered up at him, “They’re all so lovely, you know.”

He answered me with an airy titter, the sound soft enough not to echo out of the living room and down the hall to where Teddy slept, “You’ve never been on tour with them, sweetheart.”

I laughed then too. “Maybe, but Teddy likes them. And I like them too.”

“I’m glad.” Matty whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. When he pulled away, I moved to capture his hand in my own. “You have anyone like that?”

I shook my head minutely, not wanting him to disturb his position, “No, wasn’t in school long enough to make any lasting friendships and then I guess when you reach a certain age it always feels a little harder.”

A quiet swept over us then and I took the time to simply admire the few tattoos Matty's forearms held; the passport number, the box, the postcode on his inner elbow.

“Was that because of what happened?”

His voice was cautious, which was unusual for Matty and more than likely the cause which had me peering up at him, rather than his ask that had gone and broken our peaceful bout of silence.

My nose wrinkled, “What, with my scars?”

Matty gave a soft hum of assent, watching me from under a careful gaze, obviously anxious not to overstep or force my hand on the matter. I smiled at his care and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, it shook me a lot. I mean, I spent weeks in hospital and then after that, I was on strict bed rest whilst at home.” I explained to him, fingertips trailing over the faint grooves in his palm. “I was homeschooled for a long time too and when I did finally go back, well most of my class didn’t much care for me beyond the horror story they’d been told. It grew old quickly enough though, but even so it was hard to connect with people beyond the basic level.”

Matty’s thumb had begun to trail over the skin of my wrist, settling once or twice on my pulse point before going back to stroking again. “What did happen? I mean, only if you’re alright with saying anything about it, I know sometimes shit can still be hard.”

I breathed out an airy chuckle, turning my head to hide my enamoured smile in the wrinkle of his jumper. “I don’t mind. I don’t like mentioning it with strangers much, which is why it’s not really public knowledge unless you go digging. But it was a car accident.”

I felt Matty tense beneath me but his touch didn’t stray, only became that bit bolder, the hand in my hair coaxing me to glance up at him so that he could kiss me sweetly, nose nudging at the curve of my cheek before withdrawing. I hummed happily.

“My dad was with the local police. High up, but a drinker. Only started though after this one case, and then it spiralled. My mam worked night shifts sometimes at the hospital, which was a good way away from where we lived, so it would just be him and me until she got home.”

I took a breath, realising it had been quite sometime since I’d actually spoken about the crash, or even thought of it really. The scars were a constant reminder, yes, but the crash itself was something that had occurred almost two decades ago now, so I’d had time to sort of come to terms with it. As much as I could.

Not to say that it still didn’t wear at me, it had been a big event in my life, changed things in more ways than one. Because it had also been the spark which had sent my dad packing.

“It’d been raining that night, I remember ‘cause the water had been leaking in from under the backdoor. My dad had sworn up a fucking storm when he’d noticed it but could only really stick a couple towels down, claiming that he’d fix it on his next day off.”

A light chuckle escaped me at the vivid memory my mind made up, his tall figure, the odd phrasings he would use, but nothing of real substance. I couldn’t quite recall his face, or the depth of his voice, seeing as I hadn’t looked over old videos or photos we had since I’d visited mum back home.

“It had been a bad storm, had the tides reaching the cliff peaks if I remember rightly. Which meant that the hospital had started to flood, at least the north ward where mam had worked.” I continued, enjoying the delicate caress of Matty’s thumb as it trailed up my arm, “She’d been sent home after they’d managed to move most of the patients on the ground floor westward, but her car broke down about a mile out.”

I could hear the call even now, the sound of my dad’s heavy footsteps when he’d come to wrap me up in a coat, murmuring that we had to go and pick her up.

“The winds picked up, I guess. Dad didn’t have a car seat, that was what we used mam’s car for. So he just sat me in the front seat before setting off.”

Matty’s touch faltered slightly, probably having suspected where I was headed with this before it picked up once again. “The rain was relentless and we weren’t too far from the shore so it almost felt as though it was just thick sludge falling from the sky. It was hard to see past the first metre or so.”

I swallowed, noting how the light from the tv screen stretched out across the floor and flickered each time a scene changed.

“Our town wasn’t huge, but it was big enough to warrant a couple T-junctions and the odd roundabout. There was a fourway, just up past the old baptist church, a road mostly used for when you were coming off the main motorway or headed out towards the airport. Dad had been drinking, you could smell it on him some days, but at night it was always stronger. He blew through it, the traffic light teetering on amber before it finally turned red.”

Staring blankly out across the living room, I could almost picture it. The downpour which had clouded the windscreen, the old dash of my dad’s car, the familiar scent of his preferred brand of tobacco.

I licked at my lower lip, mouth suddenly dry. “A van had been crossing. On the passenger side.” I added quietly, appreciating the grip of Matty’s hand as I carried on, “All I really remember after that are headlights and the blare of a horn. Woke up a couple days later, having missed my seventh birthday and my dad nowhere to be seen.”

I huffed a small chuckle, reaching up to rub at my eyes before turning to face Matty. I wasn’t quite prepared for the wet gaze I’d been met with or the single tear that had seemingly escaped and come to a pause on the bridge of his upper lip.

I lifted a hand up to wipe it away, smiling when he kissed the pad of my thumb.

“You’re incredible, you know that.”

I’d been called many things, but I don’t think incredible was one of them.

I leaned in to kiss him, wanting nothing more than the feel of having him close, even if that meant tasting the salt of his tears or enduring that careful way he held my face. It was everything I had needed then.

–

After the little moment I had shared with Matty the previous night, I’d gone to bed feeling a little more drained that usual, but I’d put it down to the exhausting day I’d had and the fact that Matty’d had to head home so that he could do a skype interview early the next morning.

I’d almost been tempted to say that he could do it here in the flat, but with Teddy you could never tell when the kid would be coming or going, so it was safer for Matty to stick to his typical routine.

But I’d woken up all sniffly and foggy headed the next morning. The pounding at the base of my skull had forced me up out of bed in search of painkillers, as well as the fact that it had just gone ten, which meant that Teds was already up and mulling about.

I took a couple of nurofen I had tucked away in the medicine cupboard with a glass of water and figured I’d be better getting a move on with my day than heading back to bed. I knew that Matty would be popping round sooner or later too, so I attempted to sort through a load of washing that desperately needed to be done as well as tidy away the mess we’d created last night.

Teddy had helped himself to a banana from the fruit bowl at some point but was already asking for breakfast by the time I’d stuck the washing machine on- unaware of how close to crying I’d been after I’d gone and dropped a wad of detergent on the floor.

Even so, I’d set to start on a pot of porridge, knowing he would enjoy it with either some jam or spread, but I was surprised when I heard the front door rattle shut not long later, having not heard a knock nor Teddy answer it. I went to scold him, frowning at the fact that he thought he could just answer the door to anyone when Matty appeared with a few Tesco bags in hand.

“I knocked on the window, so he saw me before he let me in,” Matty was quick to rush out, grinning down at Teddy who had since spotted his breakfast and made a dive for it. “Figured I’d grab some stuff before stopping in, knew you mentioned feeling crap last night before I left so..”

He shrugged, moving over towards the kitchen before I could even think up a reply, a little bewildered by the fact that anyone would have the foresight, let alone the sincerity to do something like this for me.

“Matty.” I breathed out, so utterly warmed by the gesture as I followed after him, “You didn’t have to.”

Matty rolled his eyes at me, settling the bags down on the counter, “Shut up, you idiot. Just let me feel like an adult for once, yeah?”

I laughed, unable to help myself, even as he gestured for me to take a seat at the table, claiming I looked a little warm and confirming it when he pressed his hand to my rosy cheeks.

“Do you ever stop?” He questioned around an exasperated smile, settling some basic cold medicines down as well as a few sweet treats. “Washing machine’s already going, the kid’s been fed, floor seems to have been swept too. How’ve you not dropped?”

I rolled my eyes at his ever growing eccentrics, though was still wearing a rather pleased smile. It was nice, I deemed, having someone look after me for once.

“I can’t stop, babe, got things to do, a tiny person to look after!”

Matty just shook his head at that, obviously not too happy with my retort, “Guess we’re just gonna have a lazy day then, yeah? Got snacks, popcorn even. Reckon Teds will enjoy it. I can even take him out to the park for a bit, just to let him run off some of that energy.”

I blinked at the maddening man stood before me. Wondering what I’d done to deserve all of the things he'd done for me. And without having even been asked.

“Haven’t you got stuff to do?” I queried, content to simply watch him unpack the shopping he’d bought.

Matty shrugged a single shoulder, wrapping up a carrier bag and tucking it into the stash I kept hidden beneath the sink. “Nothing important.”

“The interview went alright then?”

He hummed, putting a couple tins of soup away in a cupboard just above his head. “Yeah, fine. Hann did it with me, other guy was in Paris or some other, I think. Definitely French though.” His phone sounded then, but it seemed he’d left it in the pocket of his jacket which he’d gone and thrown over the back of a chair upon walking in. “Look at that for me, would you?” He asked, peering down at a carton of something or other, probably pondering over whether or not it went in the fridge.

I was only a little surprised by his request, but did so anyway, trying to find the phone in one of his many deep pockets. “Definitely French?” I prompted, smirking smugly over at him before my fingers finally found the device. “You sound so certain, Healy. Almost as though you’ve been taking notes on the French dialect, or something like it.”

Chuckling to himself, Matty flashed me a big smile from over his shoulder before turning away with a wink. “The French are fit, baby.”

I laughed lightly with a halfhearted shake of my head, then peered down at his phone, “Password?”

“0709.” He told me, and so with a slight pinch in odd wonderment I typed it in.

“Why that?” I couldn’t help but ask, only glancing up again when I heard the shuffle of his feet. I raised a single eyebrow. “What, is it like the death of your guinea pig or something?”

Matty’s face pitched itself into a hearty grimace that made me cackle. “My guinea pig? Who the fuck owns a guinea pig?” He shook his head at me, deciding it wasn’t worth the effort and instead said, “It’s the date we met.”

My eyes widened considerably. “Actually?”

With a light huff, he turned back to putting things away, “Thing gets lost or nicked more times than not, so I’m always changing my passwords. Figured I’d remember that one.”

“Matty!” I all but awed, honestly feeling the love. “You can be such a sap sometimes, you know that. The day we met!”

I received a glare in retort but I simply laughed at him before turning to look down at the message he’d just received. My forehead furrowed.

“You said you had nothing going on today!” I was quick to accuse, eyes flashing up to meet his somewhat startled face, “George’s party is tonight!”

Matty’s mouth formed a little ‘o’ before he merely shrugged, “G will get over it if I can’t make it. You need me here more, and besides, his birthday isn't even for a couple more days. They’re only throwin’ it tonight so that most people can make it.”

I looked heavenwards, hoping that the second pause would give me a little bit of strength. Did it fuck. “Matty, you’re not staying here with us when George, your best mate might I add, is out celebrating his birthday! He’ll want you there.”

“Squeaks, you’re sick. He’ll underst-”

I shook my head, “No, you’re going. I’ve got a little cold, nothing that’s gonna kill me. What will kill me though is you not going to be with G on his special day.”

Matty narrowed his eyes a tad, “Don’t guilt trip me.”

My next bout of laughter couldn’t be helped. “I’m not!”

With a scoff, Matty turned to put the carton he’d held in the side door of the fridge, shaking his head as though I was the one being outlandish. “It’s fine, alright?” He said once he’d spun back around, “I’d much prefer being here anyway.”

My head dropped to the side as I looked up at him, “Babe, please go. It would honestly mean a lot to me, but even more so to George. You know, who’s birthday it is. Go on. Please?”

Matty sighed and ended up dropping himself into the opposing chair, I slid his phone on over to him. “What about you though, and Teddy?” He asked and it was sweet, how much he cared.

“We’ll be fine.” I assured him, reaching out to take his hand, “The party isn’t til later anyway, so how about we stick with your lazy day idea and then when you need to start heading out, I can just pop Teds in the bath and get him ready for bed.” When Matty still didn’t seem too keen on the idea, I squeezed his hand a tad and added, “You can even head back here after if you want.”

He perked up at that, but was still a little resistant to the whole idea of leaving.

“I promise we’ll be fine, love.”

And oh, did I wish that had been the truth.

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allzelemonz · 2 years

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Keepsake: Tom Riddle X Male Reader

Prompt: Kinktober Day 5: Mind Control/Dub/Non-Con Pronouns: None mentioned except in summary Physical Sex: AMAB Rating: E/Smut Warnings: Dubious consent, non-con vibes, mind control, drugging, Viagra potion, Tom Riddle being Voldemort in the early days, oral sex, anal sex, bottom reader, multiple orgasms, hopeful open ending, not proof read Summary: Tom Riddle met a nice boy at Hogwarts. One he couldn't let get away. He keeps him away from his work and uses him as he sees fit.

You don’t quite remember a lot from your time at Hogwarts before meeting Tom. You do remember meeting him. His rare but bright smile and his handsome features brought you in and begged you to stay. Who were you to object?

His kindness knows no bounds. Before he leaves for the day he always makes you your favorite morning drink in only the way he can. There’s something special he does that you’ve never been able to do when you make the drink. He says it’s a secret. When he’s away from home he keeps an eye on you through the mirror and there’s always one of his most trusted followers not too far away. Again, another secret. You’re a secret. Only a few of his followers know what they’re protecting. When he comes home he’s attentive as always. He ensures you’ve had something to eat and that you’ve behaved as he desires. And as the day winds down he prepares you for a sleepless night.

He makes you another drink, whatever you want before bed. He always adds that special touch that only he can. He leads you to bed after that. He sits on edge and you follow his silent commands. He draws you down on your knees, his hand remaining on your head as you unfasten his pants. You know he doesn’t like to be teased, you would never have any intention of doing so. You take his hardness in your hand, preparing him with a few soft pumps before wrapping your mouth around him.

His hand tightens into your hair, pulling it as he guides your movements. It doesn’t take much for him to move a simple blowjob into fully fucking your face. He relishes in using you. Even as he unloads down your throat he still keeps his hand harshly fixed in your hair with shrap thrusts. You swallow every drop he gives you, he would have it no other way. He keeps you there, mouth around his now soft dick for a moment, as he tugs at your hair and looks down at you. He loves this sight. You used and beneath him.

He leads you backwards, allowing your jaw to rest as his dick slides out. He pulls you up and you know to undress before laying on your back with your head resting on the pillows. He watches your every move, blinking very sparingly. He moves to your bedside table and pulls out a potion bottle. He holds it to your mouth as he does every night and watches as you swallow it.

You watch as his hand moves to your soft dick and begins to stoke it. He hates how long it takes for the potion to work, but it’s all he has. He told you long ago that you have a disorder that prevents you from getting hard on your own. There are fuzzy memories that vaguely contradict what he’s told you, but why would he lie?

He moves upwards and places his body over yours, laying almost fully on top of you. He begins to kiss you and you kiss him back, your hands moving to his hips just like you know he likes. He grinds against you as he feels you harden beneath him. There’s shuffling as his kisses get sloppy. He’s positioning himself, hard once again. He enters you without warning and his lips leave yours in time for you to let out a cry from the pain.

“Who are you, my dear?” His hand rests on the side of your face, his thumb stroking your cheek.

“Voldemort’s”

One too many times you’d answered “Tom Riddle’s” and gotten punished. You know what he wants to hear now. His hips move sharply inside of you, bringing another cry. He sets a pace, a harsh one right away. He pounds into you without mercy, moving to just the right angle above you to slam all the way in.

He grabs your chin, stalling after a particularly harsh thrust. “I should be hearing my name.”

His voice is harsh, almost a growl.

“Voldemort,” You moan in response.

He smirks and resumes his harsh pace. His name continues to fall from your mouth, your eyes now closed as you try to process the sensations of pain and pleasure. There is a sudden, tight grip on your dick and you know he’s pulled out his wand. His spellwork in bed is well-practiced and he has you cumming in less than a few minutes. With the potion’s help you remain hard and Tom makes you cum over and over again with his magic and the harsh fucking. After your dick is finally spent he angles your hips up so he can further fuck into you and he cums within the minute. He fills you and leaves himself inside for a moment before muttering a spell with a wave of his wand, then he pulls himself out and not a drop of his cum leaves you. He usually plugs you up, he just likes to have part of him inside of you as much as possible.

When he sits back on his knees and releases your hips you fall back onto the bed and take heavy breaths. Tom watches you as he always does. His hand lightly stroking your thigh and watching your chest rise and fall. You hear him mutter something again before you fall asleep.

Most mornings he wakes you up and makes you your drink, but today he’s gone. When you wander into the kitchen there is a note by your favorite cup. He must have had something important come up. There is something in the back of your mind that tells you not to drink it as you always do. It’s so strong that you dump the liquid down the sink before you head off to the shower.

#warnings #triggers #dub con #non con #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x male reader #voldemort #voldemort x reader #voldemort x male reader #smut #kinktober #kinktober 2022 #harry potter #x reader #x male reader

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isaiku · 1 year

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anika. i don’t wanna see you with anyone but me / nobody gets me sza.

fem!reader / warnings n notes! no scream vi spoilers + not a part of the plotline.

— angst to fluff, arguments, jealousy, alcohol, vomiting, ooc anika. lmk if i missed anything please!

a scowl paints over your features, the party only just started. as you sit next to anika who’s in between you and mindy. the pair giggling together as you try to distract yourself with your phone, looking away from the two to try and distract yourself.

“hey,” anika starts, “you okay? you’ve been on your phone since we arrived,” she asks, you look at her shrugging, “i’m fine, babe. you asked me to go with you, but you seem pretty comfortable yourself here.” you mumble, the air tense around you two.

mindy glances at the two of you — noticing there’s something going on, she quickly mumbles an excuse before leaving her spot. anika waits until she’s out of sight before looking at you once again, no expression on her face but you could tell what went through her mind by just looking at her eyes. she’s mad at you is she?

your face drops at the thought, removing your eyes from hers and looking straight ahead. leaning back on the couch as you bit inside your cheek, breath slightly shaking, fidgeting with your fingers.

her eyes stay in you for a while — as if she’s trying to read your body language. she sighs while smiling softly, “what’s bothering you now.” she asks. you shake your head, her body facing you, her arm leans against the couch, brows furrowed together. you don’t reply, only glancing at her before looking away once again, “nothing.” you breathe out.

“y/n, i brought you with me because i thought we were gonna have fun together,” she says, “why don’t you have fun with mindy then, like you two have been for the past couple of days?” you reply as put your phone away.

“are you seriously jealous right now?” she asks, confused. “there’s nothing going on between us, you know that. i thought we went through this already.” you stay silent, still staring at her.

“it’s just, you sometimes just act like i’m not there when you’re with her or something, look i’m not asking for a—“

“can— can we just deal with this later? i just want to this party to go smoothly and not having to stress about anything, please?” she interrupts you, grabbing your shaking hands.

you glance at your hands, pursing your lips together as you want to say more but you didn’t want to stress her even more. “i just think it’s better if we deal it and solve it now and quick, the party just started, ani’. you’re the one who says that communicating is important.” you plead but she only shakes her head.

“whatever, i’m not gonna deal with this right now. come find me later, or something.” she stands up, walking away and leaving you alone to god knows what, probably searching for mindy again.

fuck, you stare at her until she’s gone and out of sight, a tear slipping down, quickly wiping it away. you stand up from the couch too, walking towards to where the drinks are.

you don’t know how long it’s been, you can’t recognise anyone around you and you can’t find your girlfriend either. you’re leaning towards the counter. you’ve lost count on how much you drank but the empty cups in front of you explain otherwise.

“hey y/n, jesus— what happened to you?” you look over to find tara next to you, chad just right behind her, both look at you in concern. “shit, you look like a mess,” chad says, who receives a small smack from tara who moves closer to you, taking the drink from your hands and putting it elsewhere, they notice the amount of empty red plastic cups next to you, chad and tara take notice of this.

tara puts an arm around your figure, taking you away from the kitchen and sitting you down to the same couch once again, chad following behind. “where’s anika?” she asks, you tense slightly and she notices, “i’ll try looking for her if you want,” chad mentions, you shake your head and a hiccup escapes your lips, “i already tried,” tara glancing at chad before looking back at you,

“did something happen?” tara asks, you shrug. “i think you should really go home y/n, look at the state you’re in. we should call anika.”

“it’s whatever, i can handle myself.” you stammer.

“i think it’s more important that she takes you home and takes care of you,” she says, you open your mouth to say something.

and that’s when you feel something bubbling up your chest.

by your expression tara and chad react quickly. placing your arms around their shoulders to support you, taking you towards the bathroom.

you gag, trying to hold everything in before they place you down and you kneel in front of the toilet before you puke everything up, tara tries to move all the hair that’s in the way from your face. chad grimaces before quickly making his way out to get anika,

“where’s she— fuck.” you hear footsteps rushing behind you, anika walks in and finds you and tara, she sighs in relief. you calmed down but you feel it bubbling inside you again a few times, “you should’ve seen the amount of cups she had with her,” you head chad.

“thank god you were there for her, i’ll take care of her now.” she thanks tara and chad who nods before walking out and closing the door, you continue to puke up before flushing the toilet completely and attempt to wipe your lips with your sleeve, anika stops you — grabbing a tissue and wiping it off herself.

you lean your body against the toilet, “how stupid are you?” she jokes, “i leave for a few minutes and then chad runs to me all panicked,” she grabs a water bottle that she had with her, taking the cap off before handing it to you, you take sips from it before giving it back and she places it aside.

she turns you around and brings your messy hair up in to a ponytail, using the hair-tie from her wrist to hold it all up. you lean back against the wall, silence fills the room between you two, other than the beats from the room outside.

“are you still angry at me?” you mumble out, her expression softens. she takes a hold of you hand, intertwining your fingers together.

“of course not,” she sighs out, “i feel bad.” she continues, “like really bad. i shouldn’t have stressed you out and saying to deal with out problems later, and then leaving you right after in a room full of strangers.” she sits next to you, heads leaning against each other.

she looks at you, bringing out a chapstick. “look at me real quick,” she says and you face her, she grabs your chin with her fingers gently and applies it on your chapped lips that dried after the incident, you smile at her.

she smiles back, pecking your shiny lips and you gag — “kissing me right after i puke?” she giggles, her expression falters. “i’m really sorry, baby. i shouldn’t have left you there,” she whispers, you shake your head, “it’s fine.” you say. you stare at each other for a while, breathing steady as you two feel comfortable at each other’s presence,

—are you still jealous of mindy?” she raises her eyebrows in a teasing way, you scoff at her, pushing her away and getting up from your spot. walking out of the room as she chases behind you, the two of you smiling at each other.

#anika kayoko #anika x reader #scream 6 #scream vi #anika kayoko x reader #no spoilers #angst to fluff #warnings #tara carpenter #mindy meeks martin #chad meeks martin

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mono-recom · 3 months

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My Pure Love

Artist: Kikuri Tags: Office Workers, Yandere Category: Manga, Doujinshi Warnings⚠️: Dub-con

Summary: Tsukasa Fuyuki, a junior colleague who is well-liked by everyone at work and good-looking. The protagonist, Akane, has trouble dealing with Tsukasa, who is the complete opposite of herself. One day, while they were actively avoiding getting involved with one another, their boss suddenly orders them to go on a business trip together. Akane is bewildered, but Tsukasa says "I want to be friends with you" in a friendly manner, and closes the distance between them. Akane grows distrustful of the situation, but… The day of the business trip. Akane becomes drunk due to her unfamiliarity with wining and dining in business relations environment, and Tsukasa ends up taking her back to the hotel. Tsukasa gently comforts Akane, who laments about having caused him trouble. Akane's nervousness eases due to Tsukasa's kind attitude, and she begins to feel that perhaps he's not such a scary person after all… Then suddenly, he pushes her down on the bed and…

Read online: Link

#manga recommendations #manga #smut #oneshot #recommendations #office workers #Kikuri #Yandere #warnings

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bobattef · 5 months

Text

just for fun.

“It’s not even that serious, just for fun”

You tell your best friend for the umpteenth time as she rolls her eyes at your comment.

“Just for fun?” She repeats you, which makes you look back at the screen connecting your video call, was it delayed??

“Y/N…there’s so many reasons why you shouldn’t be doing this..” her serious voice comes over the speaker but you can’t help but smirk at her.

“Ergh, which is probably why you want to do this right? For the wrong reasons?” She asks you as you fake your offence at her words with a dramatic grab to your chest.

Yes, you were perhaps showing your rebellious side a little too much with this latest antic of yours.

But being brought up in the Stark family, it was almost inevitable that you would bend the rules.

And if there was a rule to say ‘don’t fuck around with any of your Dad’s work colleagues” then you’re definitely a rule breaker there.

*ping*

Your phone lights up the same way your face does when you see who the message is from.

Completely ignoring your best friend asking if it was him, you open the message as your heart starts to pick up its pace.

Doll?

You awake?

He was never the best at messaging but then again he was over a hundred years old.

“You’re not seeing him tonight are you?” Your best friend asks you as she sees a cheeky grin flash across your face, confirming her thoughts.

“Y/N! Your Dad is home” She almost shouts as you bring your fingers to your lips to shhh her.

Yes you were in your own room a whole floor above your Dad’s and Peppa’s bedroom but you never know how good a hearing they might have these days.

I’m up Soldier 😘

You type back to him as you quickly say your goodbyes to your bestie.

“Stay safe you absolute nut case!” She half laughed as she switched the end call button.

You quickly discard the over sized tee you had been lounging in as you rummage around for a better looking top.

You’ll keep your leggings on, one day you might meet up with him in a skirt or dress, I’m sure he’ll love you in one but for now it’s trousers of some kind seeing as you’ll be climbing out the window in a moment.

Your Dad gave you the best room available inside this compound.

Up and away from the others, it was almost an attic room only sharing its hallway with a storage cupboard on the end.

With massive floor to ceiling doors leading out to a balcony which was linked to the side alley of the building.

I mean, who wouldn’t choose to sneak out once in a while when it was set up so perfectly to do so.

ETA 23:05

You giggle a little at yet another blunt message as you carefully slide the door shut behind you.

A quick glance from left to right just in case anyone else was out for a midnight stroll, you hopped over the barrier and almost silently climb down the railings framing the side wall. You landed perfectly on that one soft part of grass to muffle the sound of your boots.

You’ve become a pro at this now, being the 6th or 7th time you’ve met up with the super soldier on the sly.

It always happens the same way, you’ll bid your good nights downstairs to him in the common room along with the rest of the avengers on camp and then a few minutes, sometimes hours later, your phone will ping with the same messages.

You wait in the shadows for him, you’ve always liked this part.

The hiding down the alleyways, the hushed voices, the standing flush against the wall with that cool metal hand of his wrapped around your mouth, keeping you quiet as you’ve had to wait for the coast to be clear.

You lean your head against the wall, looking up to the stars as the feel of the brick mixed perfectly with the rising heat of your body.

“Doll?” You can hear his smile through the whispering of his voice.

You know he can see you perfectly with his heightened senses but you can only make out it’s him by the faintest of light bouncing off his arm from the lamp post nearby.

You loved it when he didn’t cover it up.

“Waiting long?” He asks you but doesn’t give you much time to answer for his lips are already on yours.

You almost gasp into his mouth as his whole body leans into yours, pushing you further into the wall you were stood against.

“Sorry” he grins at you as he pulls away, leaving one hand casing your face.

“Been a long day?” You ask him. You could always tell if it was a good or bad day by the urgency he gave you when you met up with each other.

Some nights you’ll just sit in the dark somewhere and talk absolute rubbish until it was almost dawn.

Other nights he could barley contain himself and would pounce on you as soon as he laid eyes on you.

He was one of the best kissers you had.

Despite him saying he was lacking experience giving his past, you longed for them each time.

You’re not sure what you wanted from this.

Yes, your bestie thought it was purely about hurting your Dad but you can’t lie and say you didn’t find the super soldier very attractive.

He stood out to you the first day your father had introduced him, he didn’t want to touch you, not even for a handshake as quoting his words ‘he thought you were made of glass’.

You quickly taught him just how tough you were when he watched you train with Nat.

You can’t even remember how this came about and yet it was only 2 weeks ago, if that.

You enjoyed being with him so you just left your thoughts at that as he grabbed at your leggings, pulling them down to the tops of your thighs.

“here?” You breathed, the feeling of his hands on you where you needed it most causing your voice to waiver.

“Here” he smiled at you before kissing you deeply.

Groaning slightly into your mouth as his fingers pushed inside you.

“Fuck doll, so wet already?” His deep voice against your lips sent shivers down your spine.

You expected him to lift your leg up, wrap it around his waist.

If he wanted it here then the best way was to fuck you up against the wall but he took you by surprise as he spun your whole body round, you were now facing the brick in front of you.

His fingers never leaving their place buried inside you, you were so focused on the feeling he was giving you with the teasing of his hand that you didn’t quite hear the undoing of his belt.

Only realising that he had his cock out when you felt the tip of it pushing against your ass cheeks.

You’ve lost count the amount of times you had both slept together in the small space of time you had been meeting up like this but you still were in awe at the size of him.

Pulling out of you with his fingers, he pushes your underwear to the side so he could line himself up with you.

You shuffle your feet slightly, parting your legs to widen yourself.

The gravel underneath your boots being the other sound apart from both your rapid breathing.

“Ready doll?” He whispers into your ear as he gently bites at your neck.

He’s not silly, he won’t make any obvious markings on you, no matter how bad he wants to.

He makes a quick glance from left to right of either side of the alley, like it’s not too late to get out of this situation if someone was to catch the both of you.

He grabs your waist a little too tightly as he pushes his cock inside you.

You both groan out in sync.

He fills you to the base as he stalls his movements, feeling your walls contract around him to fit him inside you.

A quick kiss to your neck, that had already started to sweat a little, he pulls out of you just as slowly as he went in.

You want to push your ass outwards, not wanting him to leave you but you’re quickly taken by surprise as thrusts hard back inside you.

You moan out loud as you feel a hand of his grab you by the back of your neck.

“Shhh doll” he tells you as he jerks his hips up, pushing deeper.

You bite your lip as you know you have to be a lot quieter than you’re being right now.

“This…” he plants a kiss on your cheek as he starts to talk to you “is going…to be hard” he kisses your neck again “and fast…” his kisses become tiny nips at your skin “I’m going to need you to be very…” he trails his mouth down your neck “very… quiet for me ok?” He brings his gaze back up to yours “can you do that for me?”

You bite your lip as all you could do in answer was to nod your head slightly.

You knew how hard he could go, you literally broke the camp bed you had both been fucking on a couple of nights before.

That was a difficult one to explain to the team.

“That’s my girl” he says to you as he kisses you

hard once more.

Your lips are almost swollen by the time he’s finished and pulls away.

He adjusts his stance a little, pulling your hips out a bit further away from the wall so he can angle himself better.

You take a deep breath as you lean your head against your arm that was holding you up on the wall, balling your hand into a fist after that first deep thrust he gave you, wishing you could cry out.

He lands a slap to the flesh of your ass before picking up his pace.

The noise of his skin against yours was heavenly.

You honestly couldn’t care if someone else could hear this right now.

His pace was something else.

You don’t think you’ve ever been fucked this fast. You don’t think any one can fuck you this fast ever again.

The brutal force from his hips was causing your whole body to move alongside his.

If he wasn’t gripping so tightly onto you, you’re sure you would have been fucked into the wall rather than up against it.

The movements were causing your arm to drag up and down the wall, the sting of the bricks biting at your skin, grazes forming across it.

You’re sure you can taste blood also as you bite harder into your own lip to stop yourself from moaning out loud.

And you just know the imprint from his hands are going to be left behind for a few days.

But you can’t feel any of that, you feel only him.

The way he’s reaching so deep inside you.

The way he’s holding onto you, like he never wants to let go.

The way he’s also struggling to keep quiet as your cunt grips him so perfectly.

You start to see stars as you’re sure he’s close also.

His hips start to falter their movements as his hands move away from yours, trying to grab at the flesh of your ass instead, as well as pulling on your hair to steady himself.

You want him to finish, you want to feel that familiar feeling of filling you up with his come but you also don’t want this to end.

You know it’ll only be a few more days, hell, could even be tomorrow night that you next see him but you still want to milk every moment with the commander.

“Fuuuuck” he makes one last stifled moan before almost collapsing against you, the whole weight of himself leaning into you causing you to almost face plant the wall.

You laugh slightly as you’re pinned between him and the brick.

“I…Er..Bucky?” The strain of your voice causes him to come back down from his high.

“Sorry doll” he breathes out as stands up straight.

Pulling out of you as you feel his warm liquid start to drip down.

He tucks himself back into his combats as you can barely stay stood on your feet right now.

Turning round so you can lean your back up against the wall to better balance yourself whilst you pull your leggings up.

You notice him just staring at you as you try to catch your breath back.

“What?” You barley whisper out, feeling like the air had been fucked out of your lungs.

“How you going to haul your ass back up that trellis?” He asks you, grinning from ear to ear.

“Ha..You can always carry me up?” you manage to say as he laughs.

#bucky barns x reader #over18 #smut #warnings #marvel #super soldier

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