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mushroomates · 9 months

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the fellowship at fancy restaurants:

aragorn: literally would not care if he ate gas station sushi at a truckstop, does not see the appeal of fancy but appreciates the atmosphere. likes taking arwen out for fancy food, great at scouting out the genuinely good places, not just the expensive ones.

boromir: will fight you over paying the check. his current move is pretend to go to the bathroom, stop by the concierge’s desk and drop off his credit card there. always gets some sort of steak.

merry: deceptively well mannered. is polite and well spoken. offers to foot the bill (rich parents) but it’s an empty gesture cuz my man doesn’t carry a wallet on him 90% of the time.

pippin: gets like 80 appetizers and dessert. eats a little off of everyone’s plate. likes to order of the “secret menu” and enjoys french fries at every fine dining establishment regardless if they are offered to begin with.

frodo: very polite, has a hard time deciding what he wants. ends up getting several things and either sharing it with sam or giving the rest of it to pippin. all hobbits are incapable of bringing home leftovers.

sam: makes frodo order for him cuz he’s worried he will mess up the fancy names. fuckin loves him some fancy potatoes. takes a pic of the menu and tries to re-create it at home, 9/10 times it’s better than what the restaurant has.

legolas: eats the garnish. orders fancy cocktails and then will lick the salt rim off, eat the lemon, or the entire whole cherry, stem and all. likes to get pretty salads and sometimes will requests dressing on the side but not even use the dressing.

gimli: fantastic tipper. will fight with boromir about who pays the bill. has great table manners. will ask staff for recommendations and just order what they tell him to. not a picky eater, even if he hates it he will finish it all.

gandalf: shows up an hour, hour and a half, late. asks for servers to “surprise him” pays in cash, leaves whatever number feels right of hundreds on the table and heads out before the bill comes. he has been known to both dine and dash as well as tip 80%.

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entishramblings · 3 months

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Realizing that Denethor was supposed to be “attractive” was not on my 2024 bingo card.

“Denethor looked indeed much more like a great wizard than Gandalf did, more kingly, beautiful, and powerful; and older.” — Return of the King, Chapter 1

“Denethor was a proud man, tall, valiant, and more kingly than any man that had appeared in Gondor for many lives of men; and he was wise also, and far-sighted, and learned in lore.”— Lord of the Rings, Appendix A

You’re telling me, Denethor could have been:

artists (left to right, row by row): Catherine Karina Chmiel, Katarzyna Chmiel-Gugulska, Joshua Cairós, & Magali Villeneuve

Because seriously…daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry.

But instead we were gifted creepy tomato uncle vibes:

Bruhh…

Also the tomato was just unnecessary to have imprinted on my brain for all eternity

#lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #denethor #Denethor II #gondor #steward of Gondor #LOTR shitpost #LOTR shitposts #LOTR meme #LOTR memes #LOTR art #Denethor art #lord of the rings art #faramir #boromir

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thranduilofsmirkwood · 7 months

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INCORRECT TOLKIEN QUOTES

INCORRECT HOBBIT MEMES

INCORRECT LOTR MEMES

INCORRECT SILMARILLION MEMES

Oldies but goodies

#lotr shitposts #hobbit shitpost #incorrect hobbit memes #incorrect lotr quotes

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abittooobsessedwithlotr · 2 years

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I want to change my profile picture. Does anyone have cute/funny lotr profile pics for me??:) thnxxx in regards lol

#lotr shitposts #the hobbit #lord of the rings #lindir #elrond #lotr #tolkien #arwen #thranduil #Aragorn #boromir #galadriel

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madame-helen · 3 months

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manicpixiedckgirl · 7 months

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#shitpost #bsky #tweet #lotr #writing

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mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware · 7 months

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#humor #shitpost #pls help #lotr memes #lotr #incorrect lotr quotes #lord of the rings #the lord of the rings #gandalf #jrr tolkien #hobbits #po tay toes

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beebsops · 1 year

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GANDALF FUCKED UP AND EVIL MOMENT!? WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO SCARE HIM LIKE THAT!?

#lotr #lord of the rings #shitpost #WHY DID HE SCARE HIM LIKE THAT???

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itscorvid · 3 months

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I showed my non LOTR partner a comic with Legolas and he said “whys legolas so pussy” “hes kinda giving vagina like?”

#lotr #lotr meme #lotr memes #lotr shitpost #lotr shitposts

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toseeclearly · 6 months

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YOU, A REGULAR PERSON: Pink Witch King of Angmar

ME, AN INTELLECTUAL: nazgUwU

#lord of the rings #lotr #shitpost #cosplay #witch king of angmar #i spent too much time on this #no man can slay me #only i may slay #halloween

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evilnumnum · 1 year

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could ai make THIS!????

#my art #fanart #art #sketch #illustration #drawing #doodle #artist #gandalf #lotr #lotr shitpost #lord of the rings #lord of the rings art #lotr art #lotr memes #gandalf big naturals #I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS A GANDALF BIG NATURALS TAG

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mushroomates · 9 months

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fellowship lisence plants

Frodo: B4GG1N5, bag3nd, theshre, very wholesome and personal license plates. has a custom license frame with elven scripture saying something vaguely offensive about the driving of other cars on the road.

Sam: worried he will offend someone and they will find him because of his vanity plate. alternatively, POT8035.

Merry: brndybck, brndybk, ppinsuks. has a baby on board sticker because he hopes people won’t hit him if they think he has a kid.

Pippin: keeps trying to get some version of ‘weed’ approved. they keep getting more creative, he keeps getting denied. some gems include: DEEW, b33M, ku$h, any iteration of 420. can not understand why this might get him pulled over.

Boromir: G0ND0R, obviously. odnswim (one does not simply walk into Mordor) has the tree of gondor sticker on his back bumper.

Aragorn: rvendll, r4ng3r, nmysword. loves to drive arwin around- she has her license, he just likes taking her places. <3

Legolas: anmybow, mrkw00d, has an army wife lisence plate in hopes it will get him pulled over less. several tree hugger hippie stickers and giant scratches adorned his car. looks like someone keyed it with an axe.

Gimli: galadriel. just, the whole thing. celebron is pissed. also WHOAXED, digdeep, moria. has taken out the muffler like an asshole and likes to rev the engine outside of legolas’s house.

Gandalf: Keeps tipping the cops off to Pippins license plates. 3AGL3S, shdwfax, mthrndr.

Gollum: preshus, pr3c10us, bdaygift. drives a golf cart on the highway. will tailgate. bites the cops that pull him over.

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entishramblings · 10 months

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Pippin: Do dragons fart fire?

Bilbo: I don't know.

Pippin: I thought you went to college.

#lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #pippin took #incorrect lotr quotes #lotr shitpost #LOTR shitposts #LOTR meme #lotr memes #lotr incorrect quotes #lord of the rings incorrect quotes #LOTR funny #LOTR humor #tolkien #queue you fools!#bilbo baggins

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thranduilofsmirkwood · 2 years

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Lord of the Rings Memes

The Hobbit Memes

Shit Posts

#thranduil #the hobbit #lee pace #my edits #Mouth of Sauron #Return of the King #LOTR shitposts #Boromir #Sean Bean #Lindir #bret mckenzie #Hobbit shitposts

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twicearoundthebend · 1 month

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Imagine going on a cross country trip to share the (mildly embarrassing) news with an adjacent king that your guards lost a prisoner, but when you get there- there’s actually a huge crowd of people who all get called into a massive Super Important Meeting. And the prisoner (who you thought wasn’t like That Big of a deal) gets brought up, and everyone’s talking about how great your kingdoms security is, and how important it is that he’s locked up, and you’re just sitting there sweating buckets. And you have to stand up in front of Everybody and tell them ‘actually he escaped and had been gone for months’. While everyone looks at you with the most disappointed faces you’ve ever seen. What a loser.

And Then you have to go on an even Longer trip with all of these people who’s first impression of you was some cringefail sweaty loser who can’t even keep track of one (1) guy.

No wonder Legolas was showing off every chance he got, he was trying to bring his reputation up from like -100

#girlfailure shit tier ass elf legolas i love you #lotr #lotr shitpost #lord of the rings #Legolas

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lordoftherazzles · 1 year

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THE LORD OF THE DINGS: RETURN OF THE PORN BOTS (2023) ↳ dir. @staff (like, please, someone make this stop)

#seriously this is getting ridiculous #lotr #lord of the rings #lotr shitpost #lord of the memes #gimli #razzyedits #tolkienedit #razzy makes a shitpost #when will this nightmare end???#i had to block a handful just in the time it took me to make this #the bots are back in town

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