#LIKE PLEASE I NEED HELP
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im literally so scared my crush doesn't like me that i've been blowing up filths in the ultrakill sandbox for 30 mins
#ultrakill#relationships r hard#WHAT IS LOVE#boowomp#i am actually going insane#HOW DO I ASK SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY AND HAVE NEVER MET IRL OUT#LIKE PLEASE I NEED HELP#MY PARTNER SAID TO JUST TELL HIM BUT WHAT IF HE SAYS NO#I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.
#simon petrikov#fionna and cake#adventure time#goin insane over him#thers no words to describe how im feelin#i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE#FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED.#ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO???????#ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P#IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH#SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP.#also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake#which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk#ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help#ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER.#im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help#maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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stay warm! 🌟🍬🤖🎈
#stupid idiot forgot his mittens. to the shredder#merry yurimas.#polysho#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#proseka#Oh my god im waking uo for the stupid broadcast in like 6 hours im dumb as fuck#WEH. WEH#merry whatever the fuck#AUUUUUU excited to have nothing to do and draw for myself for um 12.. days. Oh my god theres only 12 days til 2nd sem. Oh fuck everything#I NEED TO DRAAAAAAAAW.#guys help i was going to draw song covers i want but i need to sleep cause i have stuff tomorrow but listen#if rks gets a snobbism cover i called it. Ok? ok.#i think it would be funny and just if they dont get another duet again. get the ruinene treatment. CAN WE FREE RNN ACTUALLY ITS CHRISTMAS#what was the other thing. um carnival that song i want it added so bad idk if theres sny songs with its letter count but please.#literally played nijiro stories on repeat while drawing this we need them back#fucking NBOODY TOOOOLD ME ITS EMUKASA WEEK ON STIPID TWITTER IM NOOOOTHING IM NOTHIN#i usually acknowledge that i dont have the moxy to do fanweeks but i really want to be drawing more and faster so i will participate.#emurui week is like march iirc. you wont get away from me this time.
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please save me star rail danmarch
#hsr#honkai star rail#marth 7th#dan heng#danmarch#art#fanart#please just kiss#anyone peep that very small danmarch crumb this update#(small spoilers from here)#love how dan heng has been hella quiet in the family chat for the whole ass thing#and as soon as march goes (im panicking help)#hes like (do i need to come down and help? should i come down?)#and himeko has to be all (everyone chill please)#huehuehue dan heng....#i hope he brings his ass down here in the final act
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the shining sun!! ☀️
#yippie !!!#im mostly doing these for practice but they are so fun like? lookit him hehe#i must do moon next! my boy!!#also!! if you have any pictures of their models…. i would very much like to borrow them please#for reference#i have like. over 80 rn but… i need MORE#anyway!!#fnaf#my art#mita doodles#fnaf sb#fnaf help wanted 2#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sun#sundrop#as i was writing these tags i got my acceptance letter email?? (hooray)
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Don't Wormy About Me.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#yu ziyuan#Please allow me to make it clear how important I think the hug between YZY and JC is in regards to several aspects of their characters#For one - it is the resolution and reveal that behind all the harsh words and bitterness...She really did love her son.#A hug is a soft gesture that you would never expect from someone like YZY and the fact she shows JC this affection now -#-Tells us how she knows that this upcoming battle is a death sentence for her.#Her giving away Zidan is honestly overkill but another sign of her truly showing him how she loves him and wants him to survive.#The dread of knowing she's walking back to a fight without zidian and trying to keep up brave face one last time...chilling.#Zidian represents legacy and promises. And this is going to both save and destroy Jiang Cheng as he carries this weight alone.#Heartbreaking stuff! Didn't draw it in the comic because I wanted to draw a silly worm on a string!#WWX tried to help JC out of the knot but got stuck in it.#Those worm on a string tricks are harder than they look!#Also; it's been about a year since the last boat joke - but indeed this is the 11th boat of pd-mdzs. No need to do the math.
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On Voting in America
So one of the most profound comments on routine chores that I've ever encountered was, hilariously, the Pickle Rick episode of "Rick & Morty," where (after a lot of shenanigans have already ensued) this therapist absolutely lays Rick out:
"I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is: it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."
I think about this at least once a week — usually while I'm doing my laundry or sweeping or some other task that needs doing and won't get me anything more than clean clothing or a dog-hair-free floor. There's no Pulitzer for wiping down your microwave or scrubbing your toilet; no one's awarding you for getting all the dishes out of the sink. At best you have the satisfaction of crossing it off your list.
Voting is very much the same (and I'm talking about the US here, as an American). Sure, you sometimes get a sticker; but nobody's going to cheer for you. There's no adventure here, no potential for anything more than crossing something off of a list. It's a chore, something that needs doing in order to repair, maintain, and yes even clean. So I get why people don't like doing it.
And I've decided I don't give a shit.
Do it anyway. Your country takes astonishingly little from you — taxes, the once-in-a-blue-moon jury duty, and a theoretical draft that hasn't been used in over half a century and likely will never be again — but it asks you (asks! not requires! not demands!) to vote once a year. It's not always easy; especially in conservative states, the impediments to vote can be ridiculous. But it is once a year and unlike in our nation's all-too-recent past, you will not die if you do it.
In fact, the worst outcome from voting these days is that the person or issue that you vote for loses — but you won't know if they lose until after the election. Polls are less accurate now, for a whole host of reasons; you cannot know until after the election who or what will win. This makes your vote more valuable than possibly ever before.
Use that power. Not because it's exciting or even rewarding, but because your vote is what keeps our country's metaphorical teeth from falling out and our metaphorical ass from stinking.
Brush, wipe, vote.
#ok the metaphor may've gotten a little gross but rick & morty chose it not me#anyway if voting didn't matter then rich people wouldn't do it#and I can assure you: they do#also: please don't think of voting like a reward for the person you're voting for#or as a punishment for the person you're not voting for#my mom's advice was:#think about the most vulnerable people you care about and vote for the person or issue that will make their lives better#and you'll rarely go wrong#yes there are often two bad options but if you're old enough to vote you're old enough to understand the difference between bad and less ba#anyway that's all the political lecturing I'll do this year#except maybe to complain about the 18-hour day I'll be having on Tuesday#oh also SIGN UP TO WORK ELECTIONS WE NEED MORE HELP#thank you#politics!
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THEY ARE SO INSUFFERABLE AND HORRIFIC AND AWFUL BUT SO AMAZING AND DORKY AND THIS PART IS SO UNFAIRLY FUNNY AND CUTE AND WHOLESOME-- PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE MORE SCREENTIME IN S2. PLEASE LET THEM TAKE OVER THE SHOW. I KNOW THEY'RE HORRIBLE PEOPLE BUT I NEED MORE OF THE VEES.
And the most important scene of them all (to me):
First of all, how is Vox doing that. Second, you just know that these two douchebags are going to bang so hard with Alastor getting his ass kicked replaying in the background after this. I hate them so much.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin hotel vees#voxval#staticmoth#all their scenes in this episode were so freaking good holy shit#all their scenes in show are great actually#like-- oh my god#they are so much fun to have around#vox was literally me the entire time (minus the alastor hating)#and their evil little happy celebrating at the end was so cute it's unreal#i wanted the vees to sing together at some point and i'm so happy it was delivered vox and val sound fantastic together#and that sneaky staticmoth kiss at the end YES YES YES YEEESS#i love everyone in this show (except adam) but the vees are just built different#with adam dead can they please appear more? please? i need more of these disgusting assholes committing disgusting crimes and gay wrongs#''the future of hell belongs to the vees'' is a sentiment i can and will get behind please take over#i just finished the season finale and it gave me the dopamine rush i really needed today i'm so happy AAHHHHHH#i can't stop rewatching this scene someone please help me i can't escape their clutches i've been here for hours please#ok i'm clogging these tags so i'm stopping here but AAGHHHBKFGXGGGBB#anyways good night
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tracked down this clip just because of this post! have jokes from skizz and scar
#i spent way longer than id like to admit doing these captions. autocaptions was completely busted so i did em manually#please let me know if i missed / should change anything!#i am a person who needs captions trying to make captions for others lmfao. are the colors ok? too subtle? i wanted them legible still but#anyways sdkjhg here have this#txtly described#(bc i made the captions)#though i will probably also add a video descrip later just. not rn sorry guys#also blease if you can find the post LINK ME i have been searching the tag for ages#hermitcraft#skizzleman#goodtimeswithscar#grian#edit: thank you to the person who linked the post!! :D#second edit: yall ive been trying to swap the video out for the corrected one and it wont swap help
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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Wear Headphones :]
Transcript:
Mmh- I... Oh wow. Ahgh! Mmph! I'm gonna GET SILLY. ALL OVER.
Ah-ghg. *exhale* Fuh-fuck. Heh-heh... I got too silly.
End Transcription
*coughs* this was actually going to be a comic but I Don't Have Time For All That. So if you want to see the incomprehensible version its below *coughs*
And heres v1 staring at fuckin nothin if you want it for some reason??
Since this is a lot of clips here is the audio source dumping ground (not in order)
Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3
#suggestive#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#im actually going to jail for this one.#sorry if the audio levels are a bit.. weird. its difficult when its a bunch of different clips together#please enjoy the 5 minutes spent on the comic layout#i did the first panel and said 'nvm lol' I didnt even finish adding the terminal text#shoutout to the one person in chat who said 'IM SILLYING' this is all your fault /j#i hate transcribing these#help.#OK................. THATS. Enough Posts Like This. For now. Next few will be normal. well as normal as it gets around here#btw the gabe pic was originally Much Worse. I had to add the rainbows n stuff so people didnt think it was..... well.#i need to stand in traffic now. goodeby#happy sunday everyone
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Barnaby from last stream! he's. Yeah <3
#the guy the dude the him! The Most Dog Ever can i get a yeehaw and a hawyee#i swear i will crochet that barnaby head#i know how to do it.... it can be done...#i need his head on my Shelf. or like#idk mounted on a wall plaque or somethin#that would be more realistic. i dont have much shelf space left!#too many books! too many trinkets! too many delightful misc. items!#but still. it would be nice to have him Nearby#part of him at least!#he can join the little home i havent made yet for the wally plush#scribble salad#barnaby b beagle#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#please excuse the hearts i simple Could Not help myself#he is - as wally would say - the most!#I Think I Made His Tie Too Small. Fuck#i mean uh um. little tie for a little guy!
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in recent years, there's been a push in therapeutic circles to shift the language from "attention-seeking" to "connection-seeking" behavior.
i was an attention-seeker. i was the textbook example of an attention-seeker. i was a troublemaker. i would self-harm. i destroyed my own relationships. i was uncontrolled, dramatic, sensitive. i took everything personally. i had "nothing" to be depressed "about," but made a big show of how sad i was nonetheless. i was really unsafe about myself in a lot of ways.
the strange thing about that is: it meant others could ignore me. the prevailing wisdom behind knowing something is "attention seeking" is to say: well, since you want it that bad, you're not getting any. it meant i was lower-on-the-list of concern. it meant an eye-roll.
the belief was that: since i was obviously doing these things on purpose, it would be bad behavioral training if i was "rewarded" for it. it would "teach me" that i simply had to make enough fuss, and i'd finally get all that missing attention and love. no, it was better to ignore that stuff.
i was suffering. and it felt like - oh, it doesn't matter how loudly i am in pain, nobody gives a shit about if i'm living or dying.
awhile ago, i went through my journals from that time. a lot of them read the same thing. in them, i am convinced i am invisible. that nobody wants to hear me, to see me. that i could die or vanish and nobody would even notice. i didn't even want attention - not really - because it was always dismissive, mocking. nothing i ever did would be good enough to get someone to actually-worry about me.
that's a terrifying thing for me to read as an adult. that is a child who fully has no problem committing. that is a child who has no concept of feeling loved. the most basic human instinct is missing from her life.
i needed help. i didn't know how to ask for it. i was a kid. i was a kid in a bad home, and whenever i thought things couldn't get worse there - they almost always did.
and the ways i showed that - the ways i tried to deal with that - they made others dismiss me. i wasn't suffering prettily. after all, if i was really in trouble, why wouldn't i just march into the first counselor's office and ask someone to help me? i had the opportunities, right? what did i think would happen, exactly? that someone would finally stand up and do something? who even wants that kind of responsibility?
i heard connection-seeking for the first time about three months ago. my therapist mentioned it when we were talking about my history. it rang some kind of horrible bell, deep inside me. i don't know what she said in the rest of her sentence. i just started... crying.
"oh no", i said to her. "i think i just realized: i have no idea how to forgive them for minimizing the ways i was hurting."
how many other kids, though. how many other kids were out there drowning, snatching around for a lifevest, some kind of rope - how many were straight-up ignored.
how many of those kids aren't gonna get old.
#the thing i teach my preschoolers is#if something bad happens to u#and it hurts you#tell someone#and KEEP TELLING SOMEONE#UNTIL SOMEONE BELIEVES YOU#it is NEVER your fault for telling the truth#it is THEIR fault for not hearing you#if you are like me and ''attention seeking''#please#if u can#GET HELP. GET THE HELP YOU NEED.#at some point we all have to do this on our own#it has to be our own personal work#but you DESERVE someone who will help you to do that work#a therapist a teacher a doctor whomever#YOU DESERVE HELP.#you deserve connection#and i love you#suicide implied#tw self harm
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i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you
#SKELETON ORCHESTRA AND LILIA I NEED YOU#project sekai#emunene#emu otori#nene kusanagi#pjsk#prsk#proseka#wxs cover wishlist copium.. 2!!#i have lots more of them i wanna draw but ill do st least one duet for each pair i think. maybe nnks next ive had one for them forever#Gyaaaa#Crying i have szks lunar new years art that idk how to render im missing the holiday. lord in heaven#Ik every leaker or whatever says this is going to mmj snd it probably will and i'll love the cover but still. emunene save me#wxs gets songs with nonsense lyrics its possible right Right right#i also wanted setsuna trip to go to emu in any duet but i looove the mnai cover so i won anways#Kind of too sleepy to do my usual. Sorry viewers who like reading theough my insane tags. Dont get covid it makes you sleep 13 hours a day#For the next month.#my friends saw me going nuts over this drawing actually and i gave up hard on nenes dress i just wanted to be done.. love how emus looks..#wait i actually can be insane in the tags THE WXS WORLDLINK SONG SJHDDYDJKYMY TGYAYDHUA!!! HAGSGYAAH!!!!! GY6;$;$;$;$;$ WHEHEHEHEHEH#WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Its so good please help. Wxs tetrad that illuminates the world save me.#why does the 2dmv have all of them under a WEDDING AROOOR WHY IS THERE A WEDDING BELL. CONGRATS ON POLYSHO MARRIAGE. HWATEVVRR!!!!!#wonderlands x showtime killing me taking damage augh Auughg akk akcghj
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artblock
#i am a man of many talents. art is not one of them#help#marble hornets#brian marble hornets#my art#okay youguys can stop liking and rbing now you really don't need to guys we don't have to do this#oKAY GUYS YOU CAN STOP LIKING AND RBING NOW GUYS PLEASE HELP ME#I FUCKED UP THE MORSE CODE#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
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