#what was the other thing. um carnival that song i want it added so bad idk if theres sny songs with its letter count but please. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scoobydoominuscoobydoo · 4 years

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An older ask had asked you how you would rewrite return to zombie island. How would you rewrite scoob?

Oh I’ve already put some thought into this while I was actually watching the movie simply because I was thirty minutes in and didn’t see it getting better.

The first change I would make is that I would get rid of the whole beginning scenes with them as kids. We didn’t need it and it literally added nothing to the story. You can convince your audience that the characters are close without needing to completely illustrate why.

I would definitely open the film up with them probably in mid-chase at the climax of a mystery because that’s just how you need to open up a Scooby movie. Right from the beginning this is where I would introduce the character conflict. Maybe after they’ve caught the guy and the police are commending them they wouldn’t really have anything to say to Shag and Scoob (who are probably disheveled and starving from running for their lives once again). Shaggy and Scooby have never felt bad about being cowards so I doubt this would really hurt them that much (maybe annoy them at the most). But it identifies where the story is going to focus.

We’d then move into some transitional scenes where you can watch how the gang’s dynamic works and this is where you sell their friendship. This ain’t just a Scooby and Shaggy movie, this is a whole gang movie (the central conflict just stems from Shaggy feeling under appreciated). So their relationships are an important part of getting the audience to care what happens. I would say you subtly show how Shaggy might break up little arguments or remind them to eat. Nothing in your face, more or less it would be weaved in with the gang’s standard banter.

Then we’d get to the gang talking about turning MI into a legitimate business by finding investors and stuff. I think this would be a good opportunity for a montage scene where we get to see a lot of other Scooby/HB characters without it taking too much out of the story (this is where I would show the Blue Falcon and Dyno Mutt). All of them seem to reject the proposition though. I didn’t have major issues with Simon Cowell because random celebrity cameos have always been a Scooby thing but I mean.... Why Simon Cowell of all people? I feel like there are way more suitable celebs to choose from. I feel like it would be funny if they brought in one of the actors from the 2002 live action film (playing themselves) and everyone is just like: “Who the heck is this?” And then Shaggy (who always knows who everyone is) just goes: “Um??? You uncultured swine??? That is obviously Linda Cardellini!” And then she’s the one who is finally willing to invest but says she’ll only do it if Shag is out (Scooby can stay because animal mascots are in and it doesn’t get anymore in than a talking Great Dane).

And the gang gets all offended at this and Linda (it doesn’t have to be Linda but for all intents and purposes I’m just saying it is) will just be like, “Fine, I’ll give you my money if you can tell me what he does for you. For your team.”

And they’ll all stay silent, trying to think of something and that’s when Shaggy finally takes it personally. It’s one thing to be judged by people he hardly knows. But for his best friends to be given like the easiest ultimatum and they can’t even deliver on it? He wonders if he’s being taken for granted. He decides he is and explodes. Shaggy never explodes so it freaks the gang out.

I think he’d call them out for not considering his constant submission into being the bait as a contribution - despite the fact that he always states that he’ll never do it again. But of course they wouldn’t count that because they’re always too focused in on the details to miss the big picture in front of them. Because, ultimately, that is what Shag adds to the team. Daphne, Fred, and Velma tend to get so wrapped up in the small factors that they sometimes miss the obvious. And that’s when Shaggy will point out the big thing that they’re missing. Shag has always been big picture over nuts and bolts so of course he’s the one to bring up the primary detail missed. This has been an element in almost every single show so I feel like it’s funny that it’s never been spelled out.

Velma is a little hot-head who doesn’t love being demoralized by anyone so she might say something uncalled for and that’s when Shaggy walks out and Scoob follows suit. That’s a pretty major conflict to take up the runtime so there you go.

Shag and Scoob being pissed at the gang makes a little more sense now and can be further elaborated and expand into Shag’s self-confidence issues. It’s at this point that the two of them can get kidnapped by an unrevealed villain because why the heck would I take the mystery out of it?

It wouldn’t be by a group of semi-sentient robots because this the 70′s or 80′s and technology wouldn’t be that advanced. Instead, I’d shoot for classic, masked henchmen (maybe disguised as horrifying Greek gods or something) who swipe Shag and Scoob from the bowling alley without even giving them a chance at a comedic chase scene because the audience is supposed to feel unnerved.

We’d cut back to the gang, 1/3 of them a little steamed and the majority feeling bad for selling their best friend short. It’s revealed that they didn’t take the investment offer because there’s no way they would further exclude Shaggy from anything. They decide that they should let everyone cool down before they go and talk things out and while that’s happening Daphne is trying put together a list of all the things Shag and Scoob add to the team. She gets even more upset with herself because this is their best friend and this shouldn’t be that hard.

In the background, Fred and Velma start arguing and it would act as a kind of callback to the beginning where we see Shag break up their bickering. But since he’s not here the fight begins to escalate and it’s only when they start yelling that Daphne comes between them. Then her face lights up and she gingerly adds that to the list.

As the movies cuts back and forth between Shag and Scoob’s perspective and the gang’s perspective the list gets longer.

Speaking of, Shag and Scoob are being kept prisoner at the abandoned carnival because that’s always an interesting set-piece that just so happened to be totally pointless in the actual movie. At some point the two of them are split up and this is when it’s hinted that the kidnappers where originally aiming for just Scooby but Shag was also there so they just rolled with it. But because Shaggy isn’t important to them, nobody is really guarding him anymore (they were originally guarding him because Scooby was with him).

Scooby being taken is the motivation he needs to try and escape and save his dog (in his head he’s pretty sure these whackos are gonna freaking sacrifice his dog to the powerful god of all things creepy). His escape attempts would be interspersed between scenes of the gang looking for him, and Scooby being intimidated by the masked big bad (who is of course explaining the plan in great detail). The gang’s hunt for their guys would be a lot more difficult since they can’t just Life 360 up where he is. It would rely more on visual clues, eyewitness testimonies and choppy security footage, which is overall more engaging and gives the gang an actual thing to do.

While Shaggy is formulating an escape he’s able to pick up bits and pieces of what the crazy people want to do with Scooby and this acts as him getting closer to finishing a puzzle. But he doesn’t analyze the puzzle pieces he gets and tries to guess what the puzzle will look like, that’s not his area or his goal at the moment.

In a big triumphant moment, Shaggy escaping and the gang figuring out where he is happen at the same time. This gets the spirits high before things go wrong again.

And when I say wrong - I mean the gang get capture by the villain. Shaggy isn’t aware of this as he’s sneaking around the carnival grounds trying to figure out where someone would keep the actually important prisoner. I feel like a comically large circus tent would be a cool location for the climax of a movie Scooby’s probably in there. But when Shag gets there he’s quick to hide (like under the seats or something) and this is how he’s able to finally see the whole puzzle put together.

The gang escapes rather quickly because say what you will about Danger Prone Daphne but she’s just as good at getting out of tough situations as she is at getting into them. And so begins the epic journey to find their boys (they escape and Velma just instantly goes, “It’s obviously the huge circus tent.”). And at this point it’s like a One Piece arc and all you want is the whole gang to be reunited again. But first we need a fun scene of the VFD trio trying to evade the henchmen to like a Smash Mouth song or something because remember this is Scooby-Doo.

Shaggy realizes he has to do something fast otherwise his dog is going to be used to open the Underworld. He runs out of the shadows without any real plan with just the goal of taking down the bad guy. But he doesn’t get there in time and the whole tent like erupts into green and blue flames as Cerberus stomps out of the gates and Shaggy is just frozen in place. The masked guy seems a tad surprised to run into Cerberus so fast but is quick to gain control of the beast. He orders the monster to start wreaking havoc on a nearby town something, he doesn’t care so long as he can enter the Underworld without distraction.

But before he can do that, he gets jumped by Shaggy who’s really only trying to keep him pinned down while he comes up with a step two. But Mr. Mask has some fight in him so it becomes this epic struggle between Shaggy, Scooby, and the bad guy while the place is still on fire and we have an epic orchestral score playing in the background.

Right when it seems like the villain has the upper hand, Daphne comes in and like roundhouse kicks him in the head, and he’s out cold. And before Shag and Scoob can react they’re dogpiled by the other three and it’s very heartwarming.

Fred eagerly ties the perp up and then we get our unmasking and it’s Scrappy-Doo!!! Just kidding that’d be stupid. I’m really not sure who would be the best surprise villain but if anyone has a good idea for one please let me know!

When the bad guy comes to, Velma starts shaking him to tell them how to get Cerberus back into the Underworld and how to close the gate. He reveals that all you need to do is whistle and he’ll go home (Cerberus is Hades’ domesticated puppy so obvi that would work). Maybe we get a gag where someone tries to whistle but it’s too hot in the tent for it to work and they’re like: “Does anyone have like some water?” And then Shaggy just rolls his eyes and whistles and boom, big angry puppy comes home.

Daphne smiles and says, “I’m gonna have to add that to the list.” And Shag is like, “Like, the list of what?” And she explains that the gang has been putting together a list of all the things he brings to the team and it makes him happy that they’re putting in the effort.

We cut back to Velma torturing the info out of our mask on how to close the gates and he just evilly laughs and only a dog or dog’s best friend can close the gate. But, unfortunately, the gate will take them back down to the Underworld. The gang just sits in shock because there is no better option there.

But without missing a beat, Scooby decides he’s gonna do it and runs for the lock. He’s about to put his paw on the thingy when Shaggy beats him to it and nobody even gets a second to process before he’s sucked in and the gate vanishes.

The whole gang run to the spot where the gate used to be and Daphne falls to her knees crying, Scooby is digging at the ground trying to get to the gate and Fred has to get him to stop.

“I never even got to give him the list...” And Daph pulls it out and just drops it on the ground. Velma is on the verge of tears as she adds, “I still owe him an apology. I owe him a lot of apologies...” And as Fred is comforting Scooby he says, “We all do...” The scene ends with the gang all hugging Scooby and the list bursts into flames and disappears.

Then we cut to Shag in the Underworld and he’s just leaning against the gate and crying because what else is he gonna do? “At least I was finally useful to them...” He thinks and slowly begins to walk around and is surprised to see that the Underworld is prettier than he expected.

“Thank my wife. She’s always looking for ways to brighten this place up so I don’t feel so miserable when she’s gone. “

Shag screams bloody murder and jumps like a ten feet before turning around and seeing a dude in a chiton. Surprise surprise, it’s Hades (Who can also be a celebrity cameo whatever). We get some nice banter before Hades holds up something and asks, “Is this yours?”

Shaggy looks down and sees that it’s a piece of paper, he shakes his head.

“Really? Because it mentions you an awful lot.”

Evidently it got snagged on the way down and ended up in Hades’ lap - he’s certain he wouldn’t have even noticed that Shaggy was there if it weren’t for that. And then Shag’s face lights up and he realizes it must be the list, as he reads it we cut to all of the times Daphne thought to write these down on their trip. Finally he believes that he’s useful to the team, that he is a valuable part of the gang.

Hades looks at him and just says, “How do they survive without you?”

And Shag just shrugs and goes, “Believe me, like, I have no idea.”

Hades smiles and replies, “Then you best not keep them waiting.” Before snapping his fingers and poofing Shaggy back home.

When he gets there, the gang are slowly making their way out of the tent so they don’t see him. So Shag takes the opportunity to say, “I read y’all’s list.” And everyone instantly makes a 180 turn with their eyes super wide and he continues, “You know I think you missed a few but it’s the thought that counts.” And then we get dogpile number two of the movie.

The final scene is the gang opening up Mystery Inc. and them asking Shag where the entertainment is and he’s just like, “I asked our surprise investors to put something together for us...” And then we get the Hex Girls performance we deserve and I can totally buy them investing in Mystery Inc. because they freaking love Shaggy and Scooby so.

We get an ending shot of the gang going off to solve their first monetized mystery (we could have like a soft instrumental version of the first theme song playing) and then we fade to the end credits where we get the What’s New Scooby-Doo theme.

#ask minus scooby #mod ninja #scoob!#if i were to go full shaphne I would have added a kiss when the reunite at the end #but for the sake of everything I'm keeping it plantonic #but really a kiss would be great #also this film would be in 2D and that's non-negotiable #there are some details that could be worked out but it's not like this is going to make the actual scoob any better so #you either like my rewrite or you don't

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fanficsandfluff · 4 years

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Emotions Get the Better (12)

When Saturday night arrived, you realized just how much you wanted booze in you. You got to Pogo’s in the middle of a comedian’s set and went straight to the bar, getting yourself a Long Island to get the night started. You didn’t really know how it worked in here when you were friends with a standup. Was Arthur going to meet you at a table and then go up? Would you not see him at all? You’d have to find out.

You sat at the back corner of the club, still a good view of the stage. You were picking on the small bowl of nuts that were already on the table.

These comedians were pretty funny this night, which you kept thinking was good for when Arthur came out, as the audience would be warmed up. You ordered a rum and coke when the Long Island was finished.

“Our next comedian says he’s very excited to be performing for you all tonight. And his mom always told him his purpose was to spread joy and laughter. Um... okay,” that got a laugh from the emcee introducing Arthur. You were nervous now, “Please welcome to the stage, Arthur Fleck.”

You clapped and cheered when he headed towards the stage, and it was the first time you saw him that night. He looked cute; a maroon vest and pants and a cream colored shirt.

As Arthur looked around after the welcome applause died down, he got quiet for a moment. Then there was a breathy, “Hello,” into the microphone.

You watched him eagerly, bouncing your leg under the table.

There was more silence and then he opened his mouth to tell a joke, but instead, a piercing laugh came out. His hand shot over his mouth. You felt mortified. Oh no, not here, not now.

This went on for an excruciatingly long time. He’d try to start his joke but would immediately fall apart in nervous laughter. The audience was chuckling with him at first, not quite sure knowing if this was part of his act.

You squeezed your hands together tightly as your eyes were glued to him on that stage, almost praying if you believed in any of that stuff.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, he got his first joke out. It got a smattering of a chuckle from various audience members. You were too nervous for him to even laugh at all. That first joke was not very good. Alright, focus, you were boozed up, of course you could laugh at shitty jokes if you wanted to. You drank faster.

The next few jokes were mostly lame, but you made sure he heard your giggle over the largely encroaching silence. He had his joke book with him. God, you wanted to read everything in there and piece together how his comedic mind worked. He did tell some pretty good jokes and he gained confidence as his set went on, but the audience was not very receptive. When Arthur finished, you clapped and whooped for him as he exited the stage. Yep, you were feeling tipsy after you’d finished your two drinks. You stood and went to the bar, getting two shots for yourself and Arthur when he came out.

You saw him sheepishly peek his head out of the door leading to the roundabout way to get to the tiny stage, and you could see his eyes searching for you. You waved your hand and he caught sight of you, a smile instantly appearing on his face.

“I’m so happy you came--”

“You were great!” you threw your arms around him and hugged him, “Seriously, you did really well,” your hand touched his cheek as you smiled at him, “Here,” you then slid him the shot, “Cheers.”

“Oh, I don’t really drink...”

“Come on, just one shot. It’s vodka. You won’t even feel anything,” you raised yours in the air, raising a brow at him.

Arthur looked nervous but he chuckled and gave in, taking the shot with you. He drank his much slower than how you downed yours. You shook your head afterward and giggled, “See, that wasn’t so bad.”

“I-I guess not,” Arthur coughed, making a face. That made you laugh more. God, you were feeling good.

“You wanna get outta here?” you asked Arthur.

Arthur nodded. You didn’t say any more and you left Pogo’s with him.

“How do you think it went?” you asked him once you were out in the street. Arthur was busy lighting up a cigarette.

“Oh, um.. well, I don’t know. I kinda blanked out in the second half. I liked all the jokes I told.”

“You should be proud. Even if it didn’t seem like you got a big response, I could tell people liked it,” you didn’t know how far you should go when exaggerating the truth to Arthur. He wasn’t dumb. He knew there were some duds. If he were doing this professionally, the technical term for what happened to him on stage was he bombed.

“Thanks,” Arthur said to you, looking at you with adoration.

“You in the mood for a burger? Cuz I think I want a burger,” you said to him as you walked side-by-side. Your hands knocked together a few times and you decided to make the move and hold his hand as you walked. Arthur blushed. You saw it even under the flickering, dim streetlights. That made you smile. He was back. No more silent, brooding, dark-eyed whacko from a few nights ago who forced a smile onto your face with his fingers and kissed you like you’d never been kissed before. Well... maybe you missed some parts of that Arthur.

You walked along with Arthur until he stopped at a newspaper stand. The front cover was of what looked like a killer clown face with sharp teeth and angry brows. You looked at Arthur more than you looked at the picture. He mimicked the face the clown was making. Odd.

“How’d the story make you feel?” you asked him, stuffing your hands into your pockets.

“I don’t know,” Arthur responded.

“Me personally,” you leaned closer to Arthur so really only he could hear, “I just think that’s three less pricks in Gotham,” you nudged him gently and headed toward the street to cross it.

Arthur watched her keep walking and he smiled, chuckling a little. She got it.

He hurried to follow her to a small dive burger and fries joint.

The two of you had dinner together, and it all went really well. The food you were intaking was helping abate your tipsy state. Arthur offered to take you home when you’d both finished up. Maybe it was a bit obvious to him you weren’t exactly sober. You accepted his offer.

On the train, you leaned your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, feeling drowsy as the train car rattled and shook. Arthur felt happy. Things were looking up for him, he could feel it.

When it was your stop, Arthur shook you awake and helped you back out onto the street.

You got to your apartment building and reached into your purse for your keys. You pulled them out but immediately dropped them onto the floor. Both you and Arthur made the move to pick them up and your hands went to the ground at the same time, heads bonking together. You both reacted and you laughed.

“Sorry, sorry,” Arthur chuckled, seeing you rub your head while still giggling.

“It’s okahay,” you let him get your keys and hand them to you, “Do you wanna come up? I can make tea or coffee...” you were hoping he’d say yes. You didn’t want this high to come down.

Arthur looked at you and then he glanced at his watch. He finally nodded, “Sure, that sounds good.”

“Great,” you smiled and led him upstairs. Not that gracefully, you might add, as your ankle buckled going up one of the stairs and you fell into Arthur. Luckily he caught you.

“You okay?” Arthur asked you as you wobbly walked down the hallway to your apartment door. He didn’t notice as much while the two of you were walking in the streets.

“Yeahah, I’m just... you know,” you shook your head and unlocked your door, “Come on in.”

You kicked your shoes off and hung your coat up, going straight to the record player next to your television set.

“No radio?” Arthur asked when he followed you in.

“I have one. It’s in the kitchen by the stove. I just prefer the sound the record player has, you know?” you put on one of your favorite bombastic jazz records and swung your hips as you shimmied your way into the kitchen to make you both coffee.

Arthur was smiling wide, and he turned the corner into your kitchen.

“You like to dance?” Arthur asked.

“Pfft, me?” you chortled, “I don’t dance, no,” you filled the coffee grounds into the filter of your coffee machine.

“But you just were,” he stepped closer to you.

“Well, yeah, cuz I really like music. I don’t think like swaying is really dancing.”

“Dance with me,” Arthur held out his arm to you. You started the coffee machine and looked at him.

“Hehere? In my narrow kitchen built to fit like half a person at a time?”

“Out here,” Arthur grabbed your wrist and dragged you into your living room, where there was definitely more space.

“Arthur...” you mumbled, embarrassed. He hooked one arm around your waist and held your other hand up with his own. He started to guide you around the carpeted floor.

“Your cologne smells good,” you said, not having been this close to him for this long a period all night.

“I’m glad you like it. It was important to have some for a date.”

“You didn’t wear cologne when you came to my house for dinner,” you chided him with a smirk.

Arthur grinned right back at you and suddenly dipped you as the song swelled, making you squeak In surprise. He pulled you back up as you were laughing, somehow ending up closer to his body than before.

“Youhu’re crazy.”

“And you’re dancing.”

You looked up at him and kept smiling wide. It was starting to hurt your cheeks, but you didn’t mind. You let him spin you as your fingertips touched and then resumed the position facing each other, swaying as the new song that came on was on the slower side.

The coffee machine beeped and you stopped dancing with him.

“I’ll go get us some mugs,” you said and playfully poked his ribs before you went back into the kitchen. He held where you poked him, a smile splitting his features.

You poured two cups of fresh brewed coffee and added a dash of milk and two spoonfuls of sugar to yours, remembering Arthur liked his black with a tiny bit of sugar.

You brought them out to him to see him dancing to himself. He really was a skilled dancer. You could tell from his little routine as Carnival on the city street.

“Coffee,” you announced, even though you felt like you could spy on him dancing like that for hours. He turned around and smiled at you, taking a seat on the couch. You went over and handed him his cup, sitting beside him with a mug of your own.

The two of you were quiet and sipping your drinks, both smiling shyly and glancing at each other from time to time.

“When are you gonna let me see what’s in that joke book?” you nodded your head to where the notebook was poking out from the back of his pants.

Arthur froze and he smiled to shake off the question, “It’s a secret. Like a secret recipe, I wouldn’t want to give anything away--”

“Why? I would really like to read some if you won’t even tell them to me,” you were still smiling at him innocently.

Arthur stared at you and he sighed, “It---” he sighed again and ran fingers through his hair. You could see his leg starting to shake again, “It’s not just a joke book. My therapist... she gave it to me as more of a journal. But I use it for both.”

“I get it,” you cut him off before he started blabbering more, “Don’t worry,” and you showed him an understanding smile. If he just said it was a journal from the start, you wouldn’t have even been pressing. That was some private stuff. Still, you wondered what a cutout of a naked woman was doing in a journal/joke book.

“Does it help?” you asked, curious still.

Arthur shrugged and traced the rim of his coffee cup with his finger, “Yeah. Yeah, I use it a lot.”

That didn’t directly answer your question, either, but you let it slide. But it seemed this topic opened something inside of Arthur as he kept talking.

“I was locked up at the institution for a while,” he went rummaging through his vest pocket for his cigarettes, “They thought I posed a danger to myself and to others. I was... my condition,” he looked you right in the eyes with those steel iris’s of his, “was worse back then, believe it or not. I was, um, suicidal. So, they let me out and gave me all these drugs that helped in the beginning. But now they’re... well, they’re not working as well. My social worker makes sure I have a job, that I go home to my mother, and that I’m not having any negative thoughts, which...” he started to laugh, but not one of his fits, “It’s funny.”

You listened to him and didn’t interrupt until it seemed like he wanted to end it there.

“Your card,” you started talking, “It said your condition was caused by head trauma or some neurological thing. Were you in an accident?”

Arthur shook his head, “For as long as I can remember I’ve lived with it. I would, um....” he dusted some cigarette ash off his pants, “I had problems with.. hurting myself,” he prodded his forehead a few times to indicate a place where he’d hurt himself, “But that was after I’d been living with my condition.”

“Does laughing normally hurt you?” you asked, your curiosity and even pity still growing.

Arthur shook his head, “No. Although I don’t really laugh a lot anyway, cuz it makes me think of the other one...”

“If it’s any difference to you, I like when you laugh. Not the bad one when it hurts you. But anytime you laugh with me,” you smiled at him and took another sip of your coffee, “Gotta return the compliment you always give me.”

Arthur smiled at you and now he was blushing at the receiving end.

You let him continue smoking his cigarette until there was nothing left of it.

“Thank you for--”

“Can I--?”

You both started talking at the same time, making the two of you smile.

“You first,” Arthur said.

“Thank you for opening up to me. About you and your condition. It takes a lot to do that.”

“Well, you make it easy to talk about myself like that.”

“Now what were you going to say?” you asked him, setting your empty coffee cup aside, looking back at him with a smile.

Arthur grinned at you, not as sweetly or as bashfully as he’d been doing all night, but that spark was in his eyes, “Can I kiss you?”

You were startled by the question in and of itself. Who asked that? He didn’t ask days ago in your bathtub. And he genuinely wanted you to consent, not even inching himself forward expecting a yes. You loved that.

You nodded your head yes, but he still didn’t move, “Yes,” you croaked.

Arthur leaned in and he pressed his lips to yours, one of his hands coming up and cupping your cheek. You felt your cheeks flush red and you kissed him back, probably more forcibly than he was to you.

You’ve kissed men before. A good amount of men, if you’d be honest. But you’d never had the urge to blush. This was something different. Arthur had pulled you in in a way in which you knew you weren’t going to be able to make an easy escape if you ever wanted to. He was an enigma of a man. He was weird, he was awkward, he was damaged, he was funny, he was sweet, he was romantic. He was everything you could want in a guy, and you knew you’d accept him even with his flaws.

Arthur’s hands never moved to touch your breasts or ass or anything overtly sensual like that. He had his arms wrapped around your waist now as he kissed you. You had reciprocated by draping your arms over his shoulders.

When the moment passed, you rested your forehead against what was Arthur’s nose, breathing heavily. Your heart was racing.

Arthur leaned down and kissed your cheek lightly and then your neck, winding up resting his head on your shoulder. You twirled the hairs at the base of his neck with your fingers, feeling his breath hitting the bare skin on your collarbones.

You sat like that for a while. At least it felt like a while to you. You were happy to be offering Arthur comfort like this. You guessed from your first date that he was a guy who missed out on affection most of his life.

Arthur got off of you and merely faced you, the sudden movement surprising you. He looked as if waiting for you to say something. He touched your face again, thumb caressing the corner of your mouth. You figured he was going to force you to smile again, but you gave him an honest one so he didn’t have to. You turned your face and kissed the palm of his hand, bringing your own hand up to hold his. That made him smile.

“I-I have to go, but I... I don’t want to,” Arthur said, looking kindly at you.

You responded, “I understand. Your mom’s gonna be wondering where you went for so long.”

Arthur nodded.

You continued, “I had a great night. Really. I want to see you again soon. Maybe I can set up a date.”

Arthur nodded again, more eagerly. You stood up so you could usher him to the door. He didn’t move yet, merely extending his hand out to you, seemingly so you could pull him up. You smirked and took his hand, completely not expecting him to yank you practically into his lap. You yelped and then laughed when you were seated again.

“Jeheherk,” you giggled.

Arthur chuckled a bit on his own and he did stand up after that bit of silliness, and you walked with him to the door.

“Goodnight,” you said, hugging your arms around yourself.

Arthur reciprocated the goodnight, and when he did, you held his arms so he wouldn’t leave just yet and gave his cheek a parting kiss. Arthur smiled wide, and when he walked down the hallway, he turned and started doing a little jig.

You snorted and laughed softly at him again, “Youhu’re a whacko,” you lovingly teased him.

Arthur gave an exaggerated bow before heading off down the stairs, out of your apartment building.

#arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck #reader insert #joker #joker x reader #arthur fleck x y/n #joker x y/n #arthur fleck x you #joker x you #romance #gentle #kisses #flirting #date

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dysphoric-dumbass13 · 5 years

Note

All of the bookish asks. I hate you. And your stupid fucking face. Im so tired dude i stayed up ridiculously late to finish that

Hey I stayed up ridiculously late to finish mine too. Well not ridiculously late because me and then I couldn't fall asleep anyways but whatever. And you literally love me you jackass.

1. (what book did you last finish? when was that?) Willingly? Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli, in July. For school? Of Mice And Men. I didn’t care that much, and I forgot to finish A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but I still finished my project fine without any issue whatsoever and should get at least a B, if not an A. But whatever.

2. (what are you currently reading?) The Odyssey, for school. But also I’m like ¾ of the way through What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli. (what book are you planning to read next?) Well for English it will have to be A Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass by Fredrick Douglass, Night by Elie Wiesel, Farewell to Manzanar by Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston, or Lord of the Flies by William Golding. However, I really want to read The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. And I’m also trying to get a hold of the Harry Potter books because I haven’t read them since I was 7, and I was a compulsive moron so I read them out of order based on length and the title. I did that a lot.

3. (what was the last book you added to your tbr?) I don’t fully know what it means by that, but I’ll give this a try. The last thing I remember actively seeking out that I need to read again (for writing purposes, and the fact that I’m a nerdy bastard) was the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling.

4. (which book did you last re-read?) Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli, I loved it so much that I read it twice in one month. I also re-read Simon vs. the Homosapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli twice before moving to the former.

5. (which was the last book you really, really loved?) Again, Leah on the Offbeat. I loved that book so much oh my god.

6. (what was/were the last books you bought?) I actually bought 3 books in September (after I got all my books for English), which were Leah on the Offbeat, Simon vs. the Homosapiens Agenda, and The Song of Achilles.

7. (paperback or hardcover? why?) Paperback. The hurt less to hold while reading, and they’re cheaper so I can buy more of them. But I do love a hardcover book if the cover is really intricate and beautiful.

8. (ya, na, or adult? why?) Idk. To me it doesn’t matter all that much as long as it’s a good book. I really like anything that isn’t racist, sexist, super heteronormative, transphobic, or hating of any particular religion (except like if it’s vaguely poking fun at catholicism and christianity because we deserve it)

9. (sci-fi or fantasy? why?) Fantasy. God I just fucking LOVE fantasy. I wrote a 20,000-word oneshot that was of the fantasy genre. I just love it too much.

10. (classic or modern? why?) Idk. Doesn’t really matter, again, as long as it isn’t racist, transphobic, against a religious group, or too heteronormative.

12. (political memoirs or comedic memoirs?) Idk man. But I hate politics in every way, shape, and form, so I’m gonna go with comedic memoirs.

13. (name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaptation) Um………. idk. I’m gonna go with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire simply because of the fact that they cut so much out and, sorry not sorry, if the whole series was written by someone not transphobic, homophobic, and antisemitic it would be better. It’s great, but it could be so much better.

14. (name a book where the movie/tv adaptation was actually better than the original) Again idk. I’m gonna say The Princess Bride because that movie is so fucking good guys.

15. (what book changed your life?) I know it’s not technically a book book, but Unknown Colors by Gabriels_Wings on Wattpad. It got me into reading again and that’s only benefitted me so far (except for distracting me from homework, but who cares).

16. (if you could bring three books to a deserted island, which would they be and why?) Well, obviously, Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda and Leah on the Offbeat (ok I’m gonna some up with abbreviations now, LotO for the latter and SvtHA for the former), and the last spot would be between The Song of Achilles and The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein. Because they’re good books. And I’m gonna end up dying on said island and I need my gay fix with me.

17. (if you owned a bookshop what would you call it?) Oof, that’s hard. Probably….. Narnia. And it would be a very gay place with beanbags and a small coffee shop inside and it would be like this one place my mom went to all the time where you could buy a book and if you wanted to you could bring it back and they’d buy it back for slightly less than you bought it for. It was a great place. And my bookshop would be amazing.

18. (which character from a book is the most like you?) Toughie. I’m gonna go with… Blaise Zabini from Harry Potter or Abby Suso from SvtHA and LotO. Because Blaise is very gay and sassy (idk if he actually is in the books but hey, fanfiction) and Abby is a bi disaster and relatable af.

19. (which character from a book is the least like you?) Idk. Hannah Abbott? Because she’s a Hufflepuff? Idk man.

20. (best summer read?) LotO.

21. (best winter read?) Been a while since I actually remember reading a book in winter. I remember when I was in 5th grade I really loved reading Where The Mountain Meets The Moon by Grace Lin. That was good. But I think The Hobbit would be good too.

22. (pro or anti e-readers? why?) Pro, it makes reading at random places so much easier. Plus, I can then read gay fanfic at my christian grandparents’ houses.

23. (bookdepository or amazon?) I’ve never used Book Depository, but I looked it up (omg Kass you aren’t going to believe it, I googled something on my own!) and it seems smaller and cooler because it’s just books. So I’m gonna go with that one.

24. (do you prefer to buy books online or in a bookshop?) In a bookshop without a doubt, you can browse for hours. I love bookshops

25. (if you could be a character in a book for just one day, who would you be and why? bonus: any specific day in the story?) Simon Spier. From SvtHA. On the day of the carnival fair thing. Because zqawxsedcrfvtgbyhnujmikolplomiknujybhtvgrfcedxwszqa

26. (if you could be a character in a book for their entire life, who would you be and why?) Again Simon Spier. Because infdjfcdncewhfiubdkjcnsoawehfwedscnsaoufgrwiofbv cisahcsoainh

27. (if you could change one thing about mainstream literature, what would you change?) NO. MORE. DISCRIMINATION! And I swear to god people, quit idolizing authors who are racist or sexist or transphobic or homophobic or against certain religions or anything else because I swear they don’t deserve it! No more discrimination in the media guys.

28. (how many books have you read so far this year?) A lot. Idk the actual amount but a lot. Especially if we’re counting fanfic.

29. (how do you sort your shelves?) I don’t actually own enough books to sort lol. But I assume I would sort them alphabetically by author. And if I had a ton of books, I’d sort them further into genres.

30. (who’s your favorite author?) Becky Albertalli.

31. (who’s your favorite contemporary author?) Idk. I’m not that smart, I don’t put authors into genre categories.

32. (who’s your favorite fantasy author?) See above.

33. (who’s your favorite sci-fi author?) See above.

34. (list 5 otps) Oh god, here I go. Pansmione (Pansy Parkinson x Hermione Granger from Harry Potter), Wolfstar (Remus Lupin x Sirius Black from Harry Potter), Sabriel (Sam Winchester x Gabriel from Supernatural), Johnlock (John Watson x Sherlock from Sherlock), and Merthur (Merlin x Arthur Pendragon from Merlin).

35. (name a book you consider to be terribly underrated) What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli.

36. (name a book you consider to be terribly overrated) Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck.

37. (how many books are actually in your bookshelf/shelves right now?) 19, including a book I accidentally stole from my 7th grade LA teacher (sorry), and a college workbook I stole from my dad on lifesaving first aid for heart problems. + 1 movie (Love, Simon), 5 comic books, and an adult coloring book because why not. I also have 2 full boxes downstairs full of kids books (about half of which I've never read or have any interest in reading) from when I moved.

38. (what language do you most often read in?) English because I’m a dumb bitch and don’t know other languages well enough. I might be able to stumble through a kid’s book in French, and I could read a basic novel in Spanish.

39. (name one of your favorite childhood books) Goodnight Moon was one of my favorites. I also was obsessed with Where The Mountain Meets The Moon by Grace Lin, and when I was about 5 my mom would read The Hobbit to my brother and I when she got home from work if she was working a half day, or she wasn’t held up too late on a normal day. Ah, some actually decent childhood memories.

40. (name one of your favorite books from your teenage years) SvtHA.

41. (do you own a library card? How often do you use it?) Yeah, and decently often.

42. (which was the best book you had to read in school?) The Outsiders. In 7th grade.

43. (are you the kind of person who reads several books at once or the kind of person who can only read one book at a time?) Multiple at once. I kind of have to if I want to read for fun while I’m in school.

44. (do you like to listen to music when you read?) Honestly, my mind is like an iPod I can’t fully control, I was laying in my bed half asleep singing What I Got yesterday morning for no reason, so I don’t have a choice. There’s more of a choice if I’m listening to music, so yes.

45. (what is your favorite thing to eat when you read?) Nothing? I don’t really like to eat when I’m reading, unless I’m reading on my phone and then it doesn’t really matter. But when I'm reading I usually forget to eat.

46. (what is your favorite thing to drink when you read?) Tea. Without a doubt. If I’m not too lazy to make it, that is.

47. (what do you do to get out of a reading slump?) Well, I do one of two things. I either try to convince Kass (@eyeforaneye-toothforatooth) to write something for me, or I’ll write (because I know I have to read over it a bajillion times, and I write too much for anyone’s good)

48. (where is your favorite place to read?) In my mind palace. I have a little place in my mind palace that I go when I’m reading or writing, and it changes. Sometimes it’s in a cottage at night with the only light a fireplace that I’m sitting in front of, sometimes it’s leaned against a tree. Three of my favorites are leaning against a cherry blossom tree looking out at a river, on a beanbag in a cozy, quiet bookshop/library, and on a beach in Roatan, Honduras. Other than that, it’s curled up on my UFO couch in my front living room, in front of the gigantic window.

49. (when is your favorite time to read?) It actually depends on the season. In the summer, always because I don’t want to go outside because it’s too hot. In the winter it’s during the evening. Spring it’s early in the morning. Fall it’s around sunset.

50. (why do you love to read?) Because you’re taking yourself and delving into a different universe, where nothing you know exists and only what you’re reading does. It takes me away from the world and all of my struggles, and puts me somewhere where that doesn’t exist. It’s refreshing. I hate you too

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wonkyuna-blog · 6 years

Text

It’s Only Fair

Genre: Fluff Carnival!AU

Lee Jooheon Summary: Your brother, Changkyun, offered to go to the local fair with you today under the guise of being a good brother. You were setting yourself up for a typical night until he happened to mention that he also invited the biggest crush of your life to join the both of you.

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: No Applicable Warnings

/// Author’s Note /// Drabble request from @mx-rays! I’m so sorry it took me so long to finish, I hope you like it!

Haze crept across the car window, your breath leaving its temporary influence in tendrils. Wind rushed inwards as the window was suddenly pulled down, rubbing harshly down the side of your cheek and sucking the very air from your lungs. You gasped from the shock then attempted to ground yourself and make sure that you were all still in one piece. Once you were able to recollect yourself, you shot Changkyun an especially dirty look; but all he did was laugh at you in return.

"You looked like you needed some air! You were just sitting over there fidgeting with your face glued to my window." He snickered. "Thank you big brother!" He delightfully added in a mocking, sing-song voice.

"Okay", you sighed, "yeah... thanks." You did your best to sound as annoyed and disinterested as possible.

"I'm not sure what you're so nervous for anyway. We're only going to the fair." Changkyun reached over, while skillfully keeping his eyes to the road, to blindly find the top of your head and raked his fingers back and forth to mess up what hair you had attempted to style for nearly an hour. You were so fed up with him.

"Yeah! And I was fine with that until you told me that we're meeting Jooheon there just a few minutes ago..." You felt yourself sink into the seat to make yourself small and cupped your face between your hands. You couldn't hide or run so that was probably the next best thing. Anything to relieve some of this dumb anxiety you felt.

Changkyun snorted. "You were fine hanging out with him when we got ice-cream last week though." You could tell his goal was only to tease you now by feigning an inquisitive tone or simply, acting stupid.

"Yes Changkyun! That was before I told you that I have a giant stupid crush on him? Quit playing like you're dumb!" He broke into a full cackle at this point, knowingly achieving the rise he meant to get out from you. Heat pooled in your cheeks from the overwhelming embarrassment of the conversation. Never tell your brother about your feelings EVER again, you thought to yourself.

Peering out the window you saw that you had finally arrived at the carnival. You felt the car wobble slightly as it changed its bearings from paved asphalt to the loose gravel of the make-shift parking lot provided for the event. In the near horizon you saw multi-colored lights illuminate the very night itself as they adorned the various rides and kiosks scattered about the grounds. The car rolled gradually to a stopping point, meaning that it was time to get out and face whatever was going to happen that night. That's when your heart finally sunk to your stomach and you couldn't remember how to bend your knees the right way. This was stupid, it's a crush. Nothing even had to happen tonight. You were overthinking it like crazy because your brother had been teasing you for days about it. Almost on cue with your thoughts, Changkyun walked over to your side and opened the door to let you out since you weren't coming on your own. "You good?" He turned to look behind him before you were able to respond.

"Yeah... I'm fi-"

"Hey guys! You finally made it! Y/n, are... you okay? You look really pale."

"Ye!" You turned your face away from Jooheon and finally got out of the car. Best not to look at him directly or he may think you were acting too weird, and stabbing questions about your emotional state at this very moment was something you definitely did not want to endure.

"I'm fine just... nervous about the big rides, I guess." You shrugged your shoulders hard and hoped he'd take that as an acceptable answer.

Jooheon giggled, as did Changkyun but you knew his evil laughter was for another reason entirely. You couldn't help but scowl at him. "Don’t worry, they're not too bad. Plus! You have me and your brother here with you."

You shot Changkyun a pleading look, hoping he wouldn't embarrass you further. He simply smirked and said, "Let's go buy our tickets."

The three of you walked up to the booth, with Jooheon going first. He was busy buying his ticket when Changkyun's phone started to suddenly ring. He pulled it from his pocket to look down at who it could be, and hesitated before finally telling you, "Go ahead and buy yours, I'll be right there after this call."

You couldn't help but frown as you turned to stand next to Jooheon for your turn to buy your ticket. You thanked the clerk and found Jooheon looking at you intently.

"So, how's college going?" He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back on his heels.

You forced a nervous laugh. "Uh, well it's going okay so far considering that it's summer... and school doesn't start for another two months."

He almost fell backwards as he realized his mistake. "Well there goes my attempt at small talk I guess." You've never seen him so embarrassed before, and you kind felt like maybe you came off a little mean.

"Sorry, that was kind of rude." You tried to laugh it off.

"No, it's fine. Really. I should have realized." Jooheon rubbed the back of his neck as he thought of what to say next. "Um, so, have you been-"

"Hey guys!" Changkyun called out as he jogged back towards us. "Bad news, ah..." He hesitated a bit with a sorry look on his face. "Y/n, mom called and wants me back home to help her out with something. Don't worry though, she said that you could stay after I told her Jooheon was here so you weren't by yourself."

You were dumbfounded. An anxious cocktail of excitement and nervousness bubbled in the pit of your stomach.

"Yeah, don't worry man I'll look after her! Sucks you can't come and have fun with us though." Jooheon went over to pull Changkyun into a hug.

"I appreciate it, I'll be back later to pick her up. You two have fun!" He waved goodbye, got into his truck and drove away just like that. It seemed to all happen so quickly. You were stuck here. Stuck... with just you, Jooheon, and your unbearable butterflies that flitted around in your lungs just for him. And a stupid voice in the back of your head that you had tried locking into an imaginary little box but it just kept screaming, "KISS HI-"

"Y/n, you ready?"

"Oh..." Reality called. You looked up from your feet to find that Jooheon was beaming the largest smile possible at you, and it was the cutest damn thing you had ever seen in your life.

"Ready as I'll ever be!" You feigned a smile until he looked ahead, then you dropped your expression trying to figure out what to do. You both walked in and you dropped every ounce of nausea you had to replace it with swelling excitement as you took in the whole park. The lights and smells instantly took you back to when you were younger, the carnival never delivered a bad moment for you. So, you decided to keep the tradition and make the most out of tonight. Swallowing the lump in your throat and calming yourself with a long sigh, you grabbed Jooheon's hand and led him into the sugary smelling chaos.

"Y/n what uh... so, what do you wanna do first?" Jooheon's voice was slightly stammering, almost feigning nervousness.

"That." You pointed at one of the tallest slides you had ever seen in your life. It called to you almost. Little kids were waiting in line to brave it, and as you stepped in line behind them you caught the confused expressions of their parents. It didn't matter to you how old you were, it's not like there was an age limit on fun.

"I'm surprised you want to ride this actually, it's one of the things I was wanting to experience most tonight!" Jooheon still hadn't pulled from your grip, and you realized then that you never released his hand. You didn't let go until you both reached the top of the slide after a long climb, and sat next to each other on the designated rugs. Readied to fly down, you caught his line of sight and held eye contact for a short moment. The butterflies threated to burst from your chest until the attendee gave an all clear to go down. That's when Jooheon grabbed your hand again and pulled you down with him. Your laughter both filled the air, and it felt as if you'd never reach the bottom. The wind swept past your face and seemed to chill the creeping heat in your face from the skin contact.

Jooheon helped you up as you reached the bottom finally, and you couldn't help but think to yourself that maybe the night wouldn't be so bad. Afterwards you both walked slowly around the sea of people recalling memories to laugh at before deciding on the next attraction to visit.

"And then we all came back from spending all day out in the woods so we could blame it on the dog?" Jooheon giggled in between breaths.

"Oh my god, my mom was so mad! She spent a whole week shopping online for a new glass figure just like it. I felt so bad for the dog after the scolding he got I fed him table scraps to get karma back on my good side."

"The Three Musketeers strike again! Ha!"

Suddenly you quieted your laughing fit and stopped dead in your tracks, gazing upwards in wonder at what stood before you. Jooheon looked concerned and confused following the direction of your gaze finally understanding what you were marveling at.

"Do... do you want to ride the Ferris wheel together?" He asked with hesitation.

"YES. I. DO." Of all rides this was your favorite. Not so much for the thrill of course but when you reached the top and you could see all of your home town lit up in the growing dusk shadowing the mountains before them. You felt yourself pulled towards it, literally, as Jooheon took your hand and led you towards the line waiting to board the machine.

You both clumsily climbed into the basket and you practically vibrated with joy awaiting your ascension. There was a surprise pressure around your hand and you realized Jooheon had begun to hold your hand again. This time was different, though. It wasn't to lead you anywhere, or to keep pace on a slide, it was something he seemed to simply want to do out of his own volition. The excitement of the ride bubbled into slight nausea as you realized that you were on one of the most cliché romantic rides with the person you've had a crush on for years now.

Attempting to feign ignorance, you avoided Jooheon's face as you both rode the way upwards. That is, until he moved his hand to lace your fingers together. Of course you let it happen, but this action made you look towards him despite your better judgement. Predictably you both caught each other's eyes and held your gaze for a moment. What you didn't quite predict, though, was in that moment his free hand reached towards you to cup your cheek and gently pull you towards his own face where he placed the softest and sincere kiss you could ever imagine. There was no fever in it, no desire. It was a lovely, melty, swirly, intoxicating, romantic... kiss.

Your mind was a complete haze. You could sit here for hours kissing Jooheon. Until a deep shrill of a voice pierced the air, causing you both to disconnect and search where it came from. You looked over the side of the boat to see no one else but your very own brother, Changkyun. His hands tossed vertical into the air and jumping up and down like a five year old screaming, "FINALLY!"

Just as panic and embarrassment set in, accompanied by a final, "WHOO", from your annoying-ass brother, you heard a soft giggle as a hand pulled you back into Jooheon's embrace and continued your kiss. You were going to kill Changkyun later, but it was only fair to let yourself indulge in this moment.

#mxnetwork #kwriterskollection #mxwriters #jooheon fluff #monsta x fluff #carnival au #its only fair

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worldcakecakecake · 7 years

Text

Office Sweet

In which Ludwig, the boss of a designing firm, falls in love with his newly hired intern.

Next and last update PERHAPS for Monday the 12th. The coming chapter is a really long one and I have a really busy weekend, plus a busy Monday since I start classes again. There’s a huge probability I won’t have it for Monday, if not, it will surely be up for Friday the 16th. Hope you enjoy this chapter still and please be patient for the next and last.

Chapter 3

“-all right and- what the hell?” Ludwig did not expect at all to be greeted by Lovino.

Antonio gazed over from the kitchen, with a welcoming smile despite surely the raging fire of anger that was broiling from Lovino.

“You’re here! Come in, come in! I was just finishing the chocolate dip.” He let Ludwig inside, letting him take a seat in one of the sofas before he brought himself back to the kitchen to continue the preparations.

Antonio worked on without a care, although Ludwig just sat awkwardly at the sofa, receiving constant glares from Lovino, who clearly whispered his discontent to Antonio.

“What is he doing here?” He basically growled.

“He has his first date with your brother tomorrow. He’s extremely nervous. I thought Gilbert, Francis and I could help him prepare."

“Wait…they’re coming here two?”

“Yeah.” Antonio didn’t seem to mind, placing the last touches to the snack plate.

“Are you serious?” He angered, clear frustration that Ludwig saw even with his distance and the voices only being hums.

“I thought we were….” he cut himself before he finished.

“We were what?” Of course Antonio would remain oblivious, with such a cute pout and confusion that Lovino was between wanting to punch or kiss him for.

“Nothing, just have your sudden little…drinking, advice party, whatever.” And Antonio thought things were well enough to present plates and drinks on the coffee table, to accept Gilbert and Francis’s entrance, the apartment getting loud with the three of them just laughing about Gilbert’s last endeavor on trying to ask Elizabeta out, emptying their plate of snacks, although Ludwig had only taken a couple of sips from his drink and one single piece of cheese.

“Speaking of troubling Germans. Ludwig, what exactly are your plans for tomorrow?” Francis thought he could ask and start with their guidance.

All gave him sudden attention, with their own smirks and teasing eyes, although Lovino just rolled his own, distracting himself by checking some stuff on his phone.

“Well um…” he turned nervous, letting his hands brush on his thighs as he calmed enough to be able to answer. “I decided to take him to Cape May. We’ll leave early tomorrow and spend the rest of the day there.”

“Nice choice for a state like New Jersey. Some scenic walking, carnival games and oh take him to Sunset beach, pick quartz crystals, watch the sunset and then, once you’re alone, make love to him as the waves crash with the very stars and moonlight above you,” Francis swayed, finding beauty, uncaring to the rashness of what he last mentioned.

“I don’t think that would be appropriate…” Ludwig commented with a heavy blush.

“You better think so,” Lovino glared, his grip on his glass harshening as he took his drink, Ludwig fearing he would actually throw it at him if he ended up saying something else.

“Well then, Lovino, Feliciano is your brother after all, what would you suggest he does?” Francis was rather insulted that they would push aside that idea.

“If it was up to me I would have told Feliciano to just forget about it and to never mess around with his bosses again,” he said with no hesitation.

“So what if he’s his boss? We don’t have any rules against that in the company. Luddy deserves to have some fun even with a co-worker,” Gilbert tried to convince.

Lovino still groaned, keeping his eyes away from the circle. “I’m not being a part of this.”

“Fine, we don��t need it! Ludwig can do a good job without it. All right, so, you’re going to pick him up. First of all you should dazzle him with all kinds of compliments,” Gilbert continued, leaning in Ludwig’s direction to get him to understand better.

“Wha-what kind of compliments?”

“Anything that you know would get him blushing. Go for his eyes, his hair, his figure, his smile. Lovino likes it when I compliment his cheeks,” Antonio smiled.

“Don’t involve me in this!” Lovino interjected.

“Uh, okay, I’ll… make a list before it."

“Oh please don’t,” Lovino had to put in despite.

“Exactly, just go with the moment,” Antonio added.

“Talk about things, anything. Shows, the news, boats for all I care, but keep a good conversation going, don’t leave it in awkward silence,” Gilbert continued.

“I think I should really write this down…”

“No! Okay, listen, I’m sure you’ll bound to get closer at some point, when the time is just right, when you start brushing, when he starts looking down at your hand, take it, harsh, but not so much, you have to show that you can be gentle and soft, even if something so simple. Keep it unless he starts feeling uncomfortable, which you don’t want,” Francis said, pointing harshly for him to get.

“What if we have to go the bathroom?” That was so stupid the entire room fell into somber silence, not believing that the situation made Ludwig Beilschmidt turn into such a fool.

“You…let go, you go, you wash your hands and…go back to it,” Gilbert said. It was that simple.

“Really, do whatever the surroundings might offer. You two decided to go out to enjoy your time together, don’t be afraid to pull him into anything you’re interested, you both might come out from something that you will not end up forgetting,” Francis smirked.

“Remember, conversation,” Gilbert reminded.

“Over lunch, over snacks, over dinner,” Antonio added.

Ludwig suddenly took out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Francis asked.

“I’m going to check some articles about this,”

“No!” The three of them, even Lovino joined in that shout, standing, pacing exasperated, going as far as to take his phone away as they tried to bring back their calm.

“Look, you’re pitiful,” Lovino suddenly appointed, taking Gilbert’s chair, which had been the closest to Ludwig.

“Um, Lovino, I don’t think you should be saying that to your boss,” Antonio said.

“You dumbasses were the ones who even said that it shouldn’t matter. Besides, were not in the company and I can tell him whatever I want, uptight creep,” Lovino said freely, despite Ludwig’s indignation.

Lovino leaned in his closeness, pointing and with resolve. “I feel so bad for you I’m going to give you something that might as well make him yours already, and that is Feliciano’s dream kiss."

“What?” Francis perked.

“Are you serious?” Gilbert couldn’t believe.

“You actually talked about this with him?” Antonio wondered, with ulterior motives and planning on his head.

“He’s my younger brother, we tell each other a lot of sappy shit. We remember these things to really determine what kind of person we should be with, and potato, if you manage to pull this off, I might not feel so bad about having my boss as my in-law.”

Ludwig was frozen to nothing. At one side, all these insults from Lovino, but then…Feliciano’s dream kiss… with such knowledge, if he planned it well, if he could disappear his nervousness with enough preparation, he could make it happen, it could assure him, make him confident that Feliciano would enjoy it so much he would want another, and another, and then perhaps…

“Would you stop that stupid look on your face and actually pay attention."

“Oh, yes, yes, yes, pleas um,” he coughed, he straightened, hoping he could control his blush enough. “Go ahead.”

Lovino raised an eyebrow skeptically but decided to go on. He was only going to mention this once. If he didn’t capture it, well he missed it.

“Feliciano is really into ocean views at night. Of course…that’s in Italy, but we’re not there right now so you have to deal with whatever second hand beach you’ll have here, he’ll like it still, I’m sure. Bring him close enough to the water, right where the waves touch, let him ease with the cold, talk, make him laugh…which I highly doubt you could do unless you truly make a fool of yourself , but once he’s calm enough, you take him by the waist, you pull him close, soothe your hands on him, soften him, let your eyes linger on each other, come close and then you do it. After, if he liked it, he’ll lean in himself and continue, and then you’ll know you did a good job. Got it?”

With his hesitant expression, Lovino began to doubt he did, but he managed a nod, a dumb expression that spoke countless of his still arraying nervousness.

“And no writing this down, no practicing, just prepare, breathe and let yourself enjoy the moment. I won’t let my brother date somebody who follows useless advice from blog articles. Relax, you’re lucky my brother is so dumb he actually finds you attractive and was willing to accept. Whatever you’ll do, I’m sure he’ll end up liking…and not stop talking about it to me later,” he groaned, standing to have some more wine. “I decree that we’re done, so let’s just get to the heavy drinking as a sort of good luck to this guy.”

And so they did, although Ludwig really didn’t drink as much, he quite preferred just to stay with his sanity and watch his brother and his friends decide to sing Tarzan songs all while crying and reminiscing and how they liked the movie when they were younger. Lovino remained in his sitting as well, just watching while taking pictures and videos to send to some of their group chats, remaining watchful, making sure to eat from some of the snacks the rest seemed to have forgotten about.

By one a.m. Lovino decided for Antonio that it was time that they all headed home, Ludwig offering to take Gilbert and Francis to their own apartment buildings, while Lovino decided to stay for the night at Antonio’s and just watch over him.

Ludwig had to admit that all this last nonsense did well to settle his mind, to take their advice and rest well for the night. Hopefully he would awake the next morning feeling the same.

His heart was doing well until he had to drive in the direction towards Feliciano’s apartment. He swore it could resonate all across the space, worsening the moment he stopped before the building, having sent his text of arrival.

In the small time he had, he took to breathe, to settle, thinking of all the words he was told last night.

Natural, just be himself. Feliciano liked him enough to agree. He could do this.

Feliciano finally headed out, wearing a simple black buttoned long sleeved shirt, tight jeans, nice shoes, a couple of string bracelets in his wrist, handsome, a charming jewel that approached with a shining smile and posture that left Ludwig blinded, staring, just staring even when he finally boarded, when he greeted with his kiss to the cheek, placing his seat belt, ready to go with jumping excitement. He couldn’t even turn the wheel.

“Ludwig?” Feliciano suddenly questioned as Ludwig didn’t do anything else but stare at him, still paralyzed.

“Um…it’s an hour drive, I think we should really get going,” he reminded, just enough to wake Ludwig from his stupor.

“Oh yes, yes, of course, sorry about that.” He began their drive, out of the city and into the highway, the GPS occasionally breaking Feliciano’s excited chatter about some viral videos from Italy.

At some points it got silent as Feliciano stared off to something that caught his attention, while Ludwig only continued to lay glances on him, taking how well the clothes fitted him, still not believing that he was actually sitting on his car on their way to their first date, so handsome, so alluring. He’d like to think he did it for him.

‘First of all you should dazzle him with all kinds of compliments,’ he heard his brother’s voice in his head. Right, he should, this was a perfect chance. He told himself to just go for the first thing that came to mind.

“You look beautiful,” he suddenly said, breaking the heaviness of the silence, to Ludwig a sort of echo that made him realize that it was too brash, internally groaning and wishing he could hit his head against the wheel. It disappeared once he noticed the blush Feliciano wore, his smile, his giggle.

“Thank you, you look gorgeous yourself,” he in turn admitted.

“Oh, no, this just something…plain,” he shrugged to his brown jacket, his plain shirt underneath, dark brown pants and shoes…made him realize how inadequate he dressed himself for this.

“No, it matches you well. You look handsome but also comfortable.” Feliciano let his hands grab at his arm to feel the good fabric, looking up to him with gleaming eyes that had Ludwig faltering. Somehow he managed to pull a smile, to thank him, to then find themselves in conversation about what shows they used to like when they were little.

Many minutes later, Ludwig parked the car at an elementary school, from which a trolley was working to bring them to the other known spots of the area. They first visited the street mall, where they mostly did some window shopping, Feliciano pointing excitedly to everything that took his interest. They entered a gallery and afterwards Ludwig offered to pay them some fudge treats, a snack that had them both elated and glowing at its sweetness. Feliciano ended up taking more and getting a bag to bring to his brother when they returned. They took walks to the more park areas, through meadows and forests where Feliciano took pictures of different kinds of birds, then daring to climb up a lighthouse and a World War II lookout tower where he loved playing pretend soldier. Ludwig couldn’t believe he joined along, but it earned them incredible laughs.

By the time they reached the boardwalk in the late evening for dinner, Ludwig had his first grasp of Feliciano’s hand when he pulled him to a pizzeria. They kept it as they were attended, as they were given their spots, their hold dearly over the table, natural and confident as if it was meant to be. Ludwig let himself feel elated with his softness, with the assuredness, with their ongoing conversation now on space, telescopes and Galileo. They only let go for when they had their pizza, surely not anything like Feliciano had in Italy, but for something American they enjoyed it while continuing to chatter.

Late evening was coming by the time they headed out, hand in hand walking together down the streets until they reached a carnival park, filled with all kinds of small rides and games. They rode a Ferris wheel, a roller coaster and the spinning cars, even played some games that got them both winning a very cute bunny plush as well as some squeaky toys for their dogs.

They left the abundance of that park and into the sandy shores of the beach, Feliciano having convinced Ludwig to rise up his pants, take off his shoes and let them both feel the soft cool texture of the sand they walked on.

The sky was now fully dark, the lights further the closer they reached the waves, Feliciano slowly being able to dip his feet on the cold coming water. He sometimes picked the pretties quarts to show to Ludwig, before testing his throw and landing it somewhere else. It actually got them a competition to see who could throw the farthest, the beach lonely and giving them the chance to do this without worry about hitting someone.

Feliciano slowly got used to the cold of the water, letting his feet sway however he wanted, Ludwig beginning to wonder if he would start dancing and singing if he let go of the hold of his hand. But it was so warm, nice and soft. He found it harder and harder to depart.

A particular view caught Feliciano, of a broken ship still standing over the line of the water, stars gleaming over it quite mysteriously, a sure story to it that had Feliciano wondering. With Ludwig still being held in the grasp of Feliciano’s hand, he stopped alongside him, letting the cold of the water settle as well, staring along, finding it all quite beautiful. He gazed to Feliciano, who continued his distant view, lips parted nicely, hair dancing along with the wind, the stars, the moon, even whatever shimmered on the sea seeming to alight him the more, his own very ground star that he didn’t mind giving his full attention to instead of the waves, sky and ocean before him.

‘Feliciano is really into ocean views at night’ he heard Lovino’s voice in his head, reminding him that this was the very view, and with Feliciano’s longing stare, it was enough. ‘Bring him close enough to the water, right where the waves touch, let him ease with the cold, talk, make him laugh…’ they were already there, he had to say something, witty, enough for even if just a grin, to connect their gazes in the way he wanted.

“Um…are you wondering what that ship is?” He asked.

“I am…do you know?” Feliciano turned to him.

“Well um…during World War I, there was a shortage of steel, so the government tried to make these ships made of concrete. It wasn’t successful, they made very few, one of the prototypes being this one, which served as a coal steamer for New England. After the war ended, steel was available again and these concrete ones were decommissioned. Later, a ferry company bought it wanting to use it for a route between New Jersey and Delaware. While it was awaiting position, a storm broke out and washed it here. Several times they tried to move it but it proved impossible. So in the end, they just decided to leave it here to rot,” Ludwig explained, somehow not finding the story as wondrous as he had thought it would be. He should have just made up something completely different to really earn that laugh that he wanted from Feliciano.

“Just proves to you, Americans are crazy enough to make concrete ships and expect them to even work as a ferry business, lose it to a storm and just decide to leave it there…and for some reason it’s a hit for tourist like us.” There, Feliciano chuckled, he laughed, joyous, melodic. Darn how easily his cheeks could show their reddening.

“Still, it adds quite a unique touch to the scene, and when you started telling me that…I don’t know, I just imagined this poor little boat with cute little eyes and a bright smile wanting to prove he was the best despite being made of concrete…but it wasn’t enough…and he was thrown to be forgotten, then bought for a chance and still he was blown away from it. Poor little thing,” Feliciano actually pouted and felt sympathy for a childish idea…it was adorable, sweet, making him the more endearing, Ludwig wanting nothing more than to just bring him into his arms and tell him an alternative story where that little boat could have a happy ending.

“At least it makes for quite a view. I believe this…boat would be happy about that,” Ludwig smiled down to him and to Feliciano something was actually competing with the stars above for beauty.

‘Once he’s calm enough, you take him by the waist.’ Feliciano was just in the tranquility that was perfect for him to reach his arms, slowly, an electrifying touch that had Feliciano giving a small gasp of delight.

‘You pull him close.’ He was before his chest now, both their bodies feeling every strength, every softness of their figures.

‘Soothe your hands on him, soften him.’ His hands began that rubbing motion on his hip, lulling him, swaying them into the moment, into their own air.

‘Let your eyes linger on each other.’ It was the only thing that existed to them currently. That glow, that intensity, that pull.

‘And then you do it.’ Ludwig neared, Feliciano as well.

There was nothing more perfect for the moment, as their eyes hushed, as their breaths met, lips only centimeters…centimeters apart.

Ludwig didn’t know how to explain what happened next. Did he feel too nervous? Was the wind blowing too harshly? Too freezing? There was just a certain movement, one his leg made that was not supposed to. It stepped on the sand and it came into contact with one of the many quartz diamonds. The piercing was too much to bare, he wobbled, he lost his balance, and before he knew it, his entire body was meeting cold water, drenching him completely, his ground, his surrounding, being the sand and the waves that crashed on him now.

Feliciano tried hard to hide his laugh under his hands, but it was just so wide that Ludwig spotted the grin nevertheless, could hear it escaping clearly, not mocking, but charming and just the expected reaction when someone fell into the water unprepared like that.

“You look very refreshed now, Luddy,” he dared say.

Ludwig couldn’t hold the rolling of his eyes.

“You should join me, the water is great.” Ludwig splashed him slightly, so Feliciano could feel the chilling coldness as well, which he chuckled at, an idea, a decision being made in his mind.

“I should,” he smirked and…he began to take off his shirt, then his pants, throwing them carelessly to the dryer sand and leaving him with only a pair of tight red boxers. He stretched and showed a body of soft skin to the perfect form and slimness, an angel, leaving Ludwig silent to his full wonder. He felt so inadequate, soaked with still worn clothes, flushed like a fool and fearing to move if…other parts began showing their excitement. Luckily the cold water helped to ease his lower problem somehow.

“Get ready, you’re about to take the full force of my power,” Feliciano joked, flexing only soft and squishy muscle. He then prepared, from a far distance, into a lunge that made Ludwig instantly panic.

“Feliciano, Feliciano, wait, no, no!” Ludwig tried to stop him, but it was already too late, Feliciano made the jump, he gave an excited squeal, he splashed Ludwig into the water, creating a spray that left neither of them safe.

Feliciano let himself swim, to the depths that were the safest, Ludwig joining along, having taken off his own clothing to hopefully dry for the time they had left. They raced, they splashed like little children, laughing, falling and even spinning together in embraces that pulled them into their own whirls. It was fun despite the hour, the coldness, one they shivered to once they headed out, coming to the grim realization that they didn’t have towels or dry clothing and would have to settle with what they threw into the mess of sand. It was incredibly uncomfortable to be with on their ride back to the city, but in the end it was worth it for the wonderful time they had. They distracted the sand, the dampness of their clothes, with conversations about their mothers, the kind of honors they had in school, their common interest in football and in Greek and Roman mythology. No matter the topic, conversing on with Feliciano was quite a comfort he was glad to have outside of his brother and other family members, proud that he had managed the confidence to not let himself stutter and fall anxious with his words the more they spent time together. Lost in their speech he hadn’t even noticed how quickly they arrived back to the city, now stopping before Feliciano’s apartment building, an end to their wonderful day. Feliciano heaved out a sigh of disappointment, but he had to prepare his things for his leave.

“I had a wonderful day, Ludwig, so much that I’m…” he chuckled nervously, taking his hands, wanting his full attention and hold for what he was to ask. “I’m asking you out myself, for next Saturday. How about we do some hiking and have a picnic! I’ll make us some tomato soup, chicken, veggie Panini and meringues. It’ll be delightful, and you can bring that Almond berry torte you were talking about!”

He was so amazingly eager, and Ludwig was himself, and so he shook his hands in approval.

“I would love to,” he still assured vocally, filling the space of the car with the most joyous air.

Feliciano neared for his goodbye kiss on the cheek, but Ludwig dared for something else, and Feliciano had no problem with landing into it. It connected their lips, soft, mending and illuminating even with their silent eyes, closed to the utter feeling of the moment, of how their mouths threaded on each other, elongating, exploding, a pulling that wouldn’t dare let them go from the heat, from the union.

Feliciano departed for a slight break of air, eyes hazed as if he just woke up from a thrilling dream, gazing to the same loss of high up air and dream clouds in Ludwig’s own. Both their lips were still reddened beautifully from the action and once again they were calling, once again Feliciano wanted their touch upon his own, and so he neared to take them again, into the strength of their lips that pushed them for more, that lost them yet again in the rhythm they moved their mouths on each other.

‘If he liked it, he’ll lean in himself and continue, and then you’ll know you did a good job.’

He had indeed done. Sure not in the place Feliciano would have dreamed of, but any moment was enough as long as this was the person he was kissing.

Feliciano could have let himself stay in this for the rest of the night, take his lap and lay himself there, on with this heaven, on with them.

A light from his apartment glowed, surely Lovino coming to check on him. He gave a disappointed groan as he departed from that cushion of Ludwig’s lips, looking up to meet his eyes with Lovino’s olive ones, stabbing question, protectiveness and haste, even from the high distance, even with the guard of the window. Feliciano opened the door and had no choice than to meet with the cold air of the natural night, having to leave, but never halting the smiles he sent to Ludwig.

“I’ll see you during the week, good night,” he wished lastly, throwing a kiss before he turned, shutting the door and heading inside the building.

Even as he took the elevator up, disappearing completely from his view, Ludwig was still too shock to move, the car now silent as he instead dwelled in all his thoughts, of the wonderful date they just had, from playing pretend soldier, holding his hand, winning prizes for him, swimming in the cold of the night at the beach, agreeing to another date that Feliciano asked and…that kiss, oh that kiss, it still swam in his head, spreading its lingering all throughout his body, laying his head back and just imagining having more.

Could he…? No, he should drive back. They still had the week and another date next Saturday. The chance will appear, he shouldn’t be angering Lovino and he should just head to his own apartment. If Gilbert was there he would eagerly tell him about his lovely day.

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#Office Sweet #gerita #gerita fanfiction #gerita fanfic #gerita fic

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lady-fiona-rossi · 7 years

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What’s That Coming Over the Hill? (New Year, New Au) (Trixya) – Ellen Thwoorp

Summary – There are things in this world that don’t make sense. Creatures that shouldn’t exist in the real world. Entities that suck the life from the living. Those who want to bring the world to darkness. There are only two people in this world who can stop them.

A Russian ex-cop with a taste for danger and an unhealthy obsession with her car and a bubbly ex-hairstylist with a passion for mythical lore, who somehow got roped into both monster hunting and a relationship with said Russian.

Follow them on their investigation into a string of murders and an abduction in a small town.

A/N: This is a supernatural-esque AU. Now this sounds like it’s going be morbid/serious as hell but it’s actually fun and kind of cracky. Also not really scary, unless you’re afraid of stupid jokes and flirting. I somehow wrote 12K for this story, so much for my short AUs… Also Dina’s Fun Aunt Holiday Bonus will be submitted later in the week as I’ve decided it’s better for me to have separate deadlines for my series and for DFA. Enjoy!

“I got a good feeling Trixie, this is gonna be the one.” Katya said excitedly, hands drumming on the steering wheel of her shiny vintage Impala. “Katya, people are dead.” Trixie chastised looking back down at the map on her phone. The car became quiet as Katya looked guiltily out at the road ahead.

“…And it’s never going to be aliens, especially not this. This clearly looks like a werewolf.” Trixie added, unable to resist this particular debate again, mostly because it warmed her heart to see Katya get excited over little green men. “I’m telling you.” Katya insisted, smile firmly back in place as she slid her sunglasses on. “Bet you its aliens.” She said playfully as the cars in front of them halted for a light. “Oh yeah, what we betting with?” Trixie snorted, looking up from the map to regard her mad partner. Almost four years they’d been hunting paranormal entities and cryptids, getting into dangerous scrapes and saving lives. God, Trixie could write poetry about it if she could find something to rhyme with ‘she saved me from a monstrous spectral rhinoceros.’ But alas, their story didn’t seem to lend itself to poetry. “If its aliens you give me a handie.” Katya said, dropping her sunglasses to give Trixie an exaggerated suggestive wink. Maybe no poetry was a good thing if that was what she had to work with. “Oh my god, I hate you.” Trixie laughed despite her words. “Pay attention to the road you dork.” She added as the traffic in front of them began to move again. “No you don’t you lurrrrrvvve me.” Katya sang. “You don’t let an ancient spectral priest, with one leg and an unhealthy obsession with Tina Turner, marry you to someone you hate.” She added casually, fiddling with the radio. “First time for everything.” Trixie quipped back as music began to blast out from the speakers. She smiled as she began to look for a motel on her phone. She should never have let Katya make that hunting playlist. She’d filled it with every monster themed song she could think of. The Russian sang along to Monster Mash under her breath as they turned off the highway onto a long quiet stretch of road. ………. After checking into their rather small yet decently equipped motel, the pair made their way to a carnival which had conveniently come into town just a month before the disappearances and murders began. There had been disappearances in the area for the past year, nobody particularly well known or liked. Several homeless people, old shut-ins with no family and teenage runaways. The sort who people wouldn’t even notice disappear. That was until the last disappearance, Helena Jones, daughter of local Politian. Police and volunteers searched long and hard for days.

That was when they found the bunker.

Inside they found twelve bodies along with Helena’s jumper. Each body had its stomach ripped and torn apart, organs missing. They still hadn’t found the girl and chances were growing slim. But the police hadn’t made a connection that Trixie had. They’d reported that each month someone had gone missing but what they hadn’t noticed was that they all went missing within the two days before a full moon, all with the exception of Helena.

Katya and Trixie pulled up to the carnival, and got out of the car.

“Oh god, clowns, Trixie there are clowns here.” Katya whispered anxiously as a clown passed them on a unicycle, his cigarette smoke blowing in their faces as he passed. Classy. “Uh, duh it’s a carnival.” Trixie replied, giving Katya a look as they stepped up to the ticket stand. “Yeah but I didn’t know they still had clowns, nobody likes clowns.” Katya insisted as they bought tickets from a very bored looking teenager with a brow piercing and a bad attitude. Trixie took the tickets with a polite smile and took Katya’s hand. “Sure they do.” Trixie shrugged, surveying the carnival. It wasn’t very busy today it seemed. There were a few children with candyfloss stuck all over their faces. A group of teenagers played the shooting game in a hopes to impress the pretty young woman running the game. They stepped over to a notice board covered in posters. “Trixie. They are beings of the purest evil and they want to eat your face and wear your skin.” Katya continued warningly, pointing to a poster for a ‘Bernie the Amazing Wolf Man’. “They all float down here, Georgie.” Trixie quoted, her voice deep as she took a picture of the poster on her phone. “Don’t even joke about that. That’s a fucking documentary.” The other woman snapped, looking suspiciously at the poster for ‘Clown Extravaganza. They’ll slaughter you with laughter’. She shuddered. She didn’t know exactly why she hated them so much but she did, ever since she was a child. “Katya. Remember what you said to me when we were on the bee case?” Trixie sighed, turning to the mad Russian with a fondly exasperated look on her face. “Calm your tits and take a bubble bath.” “That’s the one.” Trixie nodded, dropping down to press a quick kiss to Katya’s lips.

“Sorry. The wolf man is on in an hour, you want some candyfloss?” She said, looking down at her watch. She jerked her head to motion to the food vendor down the makeshift street. “If there’s one person who might be able to tell us something.” They both looked in the direction of the balding, reedy man serving doughnuts to some young women. His eyes followed them longingly as they walked away, chattering away to each other.

“Thirsty friends?”

“Thirsty friends.” Katya nodded, turning her back to the vendor as she took off her leather jacket and adjusted herself slightly in her bra. She ruffled her hair as Trixie admired her figure in her tight ripped jeans and black cut off tank. “How do I look?”

“Ghastly.” Trixie replied sarcastically, pulling off her cardigan and stuffing it in her handbag. “I can barely stand to look at you.”

“I love you too.” Katya laughed, before slipping into character as they began to make their way to the vendor.

“Hi handsome, could we get some of the fudge and two doughnuts please.” The Russian said brightly as they reached the vendor. She’d changed her voice to this simpery Valley girl she always seemed to slip into. It was either that or the two characters Katya called Trish and Maureen. Trixie wasn’t as good with the accents so she ellected to follow Katya’s Valley girl lead.

“Sure thing.” The man blinked, looking Katya up and down, eyes briefly pausing on her breasts before quickly flicking to her eyes. He smiled and nodded, moving towards the blocks of fudge.

“It is just so Goddamn hot.” Trixie sighed, fanning herself with her hand.

“Um, you ladies want a third?”

“Oh my god, how did you know? We’ve been looking for a third all over but nobody seems to think they can handle us both at the same time.” Katya gasped excitedly, looking at the man with a coy expression.

“Oh my god Tanya, he means of the fudge. You’re such a slut.” Trixie cried in mock horror, laughing softly and flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“You weren’t saying that last week when we were with Kevin, Stephen and Bobby.”

“I’m sorry about her. So what’s it like working here? Do you live in the area or travel with the circus?” Trixie apologised, pushing Katya out of the way a little so that she could lean on the counter.

“Um- hah. Its ok I guess, I travel with them but I won’t be here all that long, we’ve already stayed longer than usual. Down to the new attraction I guess.” The vendor replied, directing most of his speech to Trixie’s chest. The knife he was folding for the fudge was still raised as though he’d forgotten he had it.

“New attraction, is that the wolf guy?” Katya asked, leaning against the side of the stand.

“Bernie? Oh no he’s been with us years now. The clowns, I think they’re foreign or something they never really talk to us.” He shrugged, suddenly realising he wasn’t doing anything with his hands. He began to cut the fudge into pieces. “My dad says they’re nice but kinda odd.”

“Your dad?” Trixie questioned.

“Yeah, he owns the carnival.”

“Oh, so you’re kinda like the Prince of the carnival.” Katya said brightly, earning herself a kick from Trixie. That sounded too much like she was making fun of him. Trust Katya to say something like that.

“Will you take over the business? Is it a generational thing? That’s adorable.” Trixie cooed, smiling brightly.

“Ah, I suppose. One day that office will be mine.” He assured them, jerking his head towards a portable cabin. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “So you ladies here with your boyfriends or something?” His eyes stayed glued on the fudge he was wrapping as he asked the fumbled question.

“No. You should call us some time.” Katya grinned.

“Really?” He blinked, look up at them in surprise.

“Yeah.” Katya nodded, taking out a pen from her pocket and writing down a phone number on his hand. “My dad might pick up, we look after him. Tell him you’re looking for Tanya and Vicky.” She instructed, patting his hand as she took their treats. "Oh and don’t call until Thursday, we won’t be home.”

“What number did you just give him?” Trixie asked as soon as the vendor was out of earshot.

“Remember that old guy that used to live next door to us in Massachusetts, the one that talked to his plants and used to tape bible verses to our front door?”

“Yeah.” Trixie said slowly.

“His number.”

“You know only people who were alive in the Stone Age memorise phone numbers, right?” Trixie quipped, nudging Katya’s arm fondly as the Russian dipped into the paper bag in her hand.

“Shut up.” Katya cried, mouth full of sugary doughnut. Trixie rolled her eyes, reaching forward to brush sugar from Katya’s cheek.

“Is he still watching us?”

“No, there’s customers. A family. Now’s our chance.” Katya said quickly as they picked up their pace walking in the direction of the office.

……….

Two broken bobby pins, muttered swear words and sugary fingers later they slipped into the office, quickly shutting the door behind them. Trixie head straight for the desk. They didn’t know how long they’d have so it was best to work quickly and get out as soon as possible.

“This would be so much easier if this guy knew what a filing system was.” Trixie huffed as Katya came to join her. “If we can find some kind of records on the people who work here.” She mused as Katya went over to the filing cabinet and opened the top drawer.

“This man has a lot of porn in here.” She snorted, pulling out a magazine with a very busty nun on the cover. She opened it curiously before Trixie noticed what she was doing and gave her butt a smack.

“Not what we’re looking for you sex beast.” Trixie reminded her, keeping an eye on the small plastic window on the wall across from them.

“Jealousy is a sin.” Katya chuckled “If you want me to look at you naked, all you have to do is ask.” Katya smirked, putting the magazine away.

Trixie snorted as Katya closed the top drawer and opened the one beneath it. She began to rifle through poorly labelled files. They were searching almost fifteen minutes before she found a small book labelled ‘Legal’. She opened it curiously. “Hey Trix, I think I’ve got something.” She said, holding out to the book to show her partner. Written inside was a scribbled log of all the attractions, when they joined the carnival, where they were from, previous experience and their wage.

“Perfect.” Trixie grinned, taking the book from the other woman. “This says Bernie the Wolf Man used to work in finance in LA. And now he works here?”

“You know what else is weird.” Katya hummed, tapping her lip with her finger.

“What?”

“The clowns, they work for free and it doesn’t say where they came from.”

“Maybe they’re not legally supposed to be here?” Trixie suggested. Katya was right, that was unusual. But working for free doesn’t make you a murderer.

“I wonder.” Katya muses before checking her watch. “Bernie the dog man is in ten minutes, babe.”

“Wolf man, Kat. Wolf man.” Trixie snorted, taking a picture of the book pages on her phone. “We better go then.” Katya nodded, putting the book back exactly as she found it.

“That went well.” Katya said happily as they stepped out of the office, shutting the door behind them as they re-entered the carnival as nonchalantly as possible.

“You got the ring on?” Trixie checked, Katya nodded holding up her hand to show the somewhat gaudy pure silver ring. Werewolves had an aversion to silver. All they had to do was offer to shake the man’s hand or touch him and if he resisted in fear they knew. It had worked pretty well as a system so far. Time to see the show.

………………

“Well that was interesting.” Trixie mused as they made their way back to the Impala.

“What a joker, you can’t really think he’s a werewolf can you?” Katya asked incredulously. That Bernie fellow might play rough and tough on stage but the moment they’d encountered him off stage he was the most zen, vanilla tree hugger she’d ever met.

“Wouldn’t shake your hand.” Trixie pointed out as Katya pulled the car keys from her pocket.

“He said he was a germaphobe.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Trixie said disbelievingly as she sat in the passenger seat. Katya hummed sitting in the driver’s seat, an odd look on her face. “What’s up?” Trixie asked, noting the tightness around her partner’s eyes and the twisting of her lips. “This all feels very wrong.” Katya confessed, twirling a lock of hair around her finger as she often did when she was nervous. Her eyes follow a pair of clowns as the walked past the car, their faced painted in permenant smiles as they walked in silence. “It’s not the clowns, Katya.” Trixie assured her, patting her knee comfortingly. This was quite new for her, sure Katya was uncharacteristically jumpy for a monster hunter but she was never ususally phobic of things. “How do you know?!” “How do you know its aliens?” Trixie countered, hoping this logic would calm her. “My third eye.” Katya grinned, patting the spot between her brows. “Shut up.” Trixie snorted as Katya turned the keys, bringing the engine to life. “Listen I bet you it’s not clowns.” “What do I get if I win?” “I’ll give you a handie.” Trixie laughed. “Now let’s go back to the town, maybe we can ask around the homeless, see if anyone has gone missing.”

…………

The next day the pair sat together with two slices of pie and coffees, trying to make a plan of action when they were interrupted by a man.

“Excuse me ladies, mind if I sit down?” A young man in a slightly cheap looking suit asked, looking down at them with a serious expression. His dark curly hair was jelled down heavily, looking almost like a protective helmet. Katya briefly wondered if he rode a motorbike like that and crashed, just how much damage his hair would do to the tarmac.

“Uh, you can but I don’t know why you’d want to.” Katya frowned, looking around at the almost empty café.

“Detective Kevin Kander.” Trixie shot Katya a warning look before motioning to the seat across from them. She quickly closed the book they’d been using for notes when she noticed him try to read her writing upside down.

“What can we do for you, Detective?” Trixie asked, forcing her face into a smile.

“Can I ask your business here?”

“We’re having lunch.” Katya shrugged, taking a forkful of pie and shoving it into her mouth. “Why?

“Well, we’ve had reports from some anonymous persons that you have been asking around a lot, talking to people down on their luck.” The young man informed them, looking between the pair suspiciously.

“We’re charitable.”

“I was told you were paying for information about the missing people who were killed.”

“So?” Katya asked, not appreciating the man’s tone.

“So why are you ladies here?”

“We’re reporters.” Trixie lied, they’d used this as a cover quite a few times in their time.

“For what paper?”

“You wouldn’t know it.” She continued with a shrug.

“Can I ask why we’re being questioned? We’re just trying to have lunch.” Katya interjected, leaning back in her seat and resting her arm on the back of Trixie’s chair.

“We’re keeping an eye on all suspicious activity until we find Helena and the killers are caught.” Detective Kander said, eyeing them suspiciously.

“Killers? You know there’s more than one?” Trixie asked, hoping they could coerce the detective into revealing more information about the case.

“I’m keeping an open mind.” He smiled humourlessly. “Where were you the night Helena Jones was kidnapped?”

“We were in West Virginia.” Trixie replied, deciding not to go into too much detail. He didn’t need to know about the encounter with the Mothman, who’d actually turned out to be quite a nice guy with a cat and a crush on a local gas station worker called Susan. Sadly Susan turned out to be a runaway con artist and seemed to revel in the idea of being the first person to con a cryptid.

“But you know what.” Katya offered, leaning across the table as though confiding in the detective. “We drove nine hours to kidnap a girl we never met from some politician nobodies heard of past the state border, then we came back a week later to pay a bunch of homeless people to tell us information we already knew about the murders and decided to stick around for the weather.” Katya said sarcastically. The detective scowled. Trixie put a hand of Katya’s, where it lay on the table, in an attempt to calm her down.

“I’m sorry, she woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Trixie apologised, kicking Katya under the table as the Russian laced their fingers. He looked down at their joined hands curiously. Trixie could practically hear the cogs turning.

“Is it too much to ask for a motel to have a mattress thicker than paper?” Katya grumbled, taking a drink of her black coffee.

“Ah you’re staying at the Sleepy Lodge, it’s well known for its ‘comforts’.” The detective laughed awkwardly, evidently having finally come to the conclusion that he was dealing with lesbians. He looked up at them with slightly wide eyes. Trixie fought the urge to roll her eyes. People always got awkward when they realised they were a couple.

“Yeah.” She piped up after a moment of silence, realising neither Katya nor the detective had anything else to say. “Listen we can only apologise for our attitudes, we want the same thing you do.” The young man nodded, with the first genuine seeming smile she’d seen yet.

“That beauty out there yours?” He asked, nodding his head to Katya’s Impala, parked proudly outside the cafe.

“Yeah, that’s my baby.”

“Mind if I take a look inside.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, it’s messy.” Katya replied, a fake smile stapled to her face.

“I don’t mind. I want to know what kind of seats that model has.” Detective Kander shrugged, mirroring Katya’s false smile.

“Leather.” Katya answered shortly.

“I’d rather see it.”

“Google it.” Trixie fought the urge to sigh at her partner’s attitude. This was going to get them arrested for sure.

“Is there a reason you don’t want me to see what’s in your car so badly?”

“Is there a reason you want to see what’s in my car so badly?”

“This would be so much easier if you just cooperated.” The detective informed them, obviously trying the good cop, bad cop method on his own.

“We have cooperated. But if you want to search my property better get a search warrant.”

“The Jones family are personal friends of mine. I will find out what happened to her.” He said menacingly as he stood, any trace of a jovial nature erased from his face.. “And I will bring the perpetrator to justice.”

“We hope you do.” Trixie called after him, earning a shifty look as he left the cafe. “Our job would be so much easier if you didn’t always antagonise the cops you know.” She grumbled, letting go of Katya’s hand to get back to their notes. “You’re so cranky today.”

“I know. Sorry.” Katya apologised. “I hate it when they treat you like you’re guilty. Its poor practice.”

“I know.” Trixie nodded. “He’s young. Maybe he’s just trying to find his detective feet.” She suggested, noting that the detective didn’t have a partner. He couldn’t have been more than twenty four years old. She was sure a big case like this must be even harder when you’re new. She wasn’t really sure why she was making excuses for the man but something inside her felt for him.

“Well, he’s not going about it the right way.” Katya grumbled, casually resting her hand on Trixie’s leg as she returned to her pie.

……………. Trixie sighed softly as she woke. She couldn’t be sure what woke her but something felt off. She opened her eyes, the room still dark but she could just make out Katya laying in front of her. She was about to make to get up and go to the bathroom when she realised what had woken her. There was a soft tapping against her back. It was Katya, tapping so lightly she could barely have been moving. Tap tap t-tap tap. Trixie swallowed, the code. That was the silent code for danger. Tap tap t-tap tap. If she squinted she could see Katya’s eyes, watching something intently. The door. Tap tap t-tap tap. The tapping became more insistent as Trixie heard the noise of the door opening. She let out a soft sleepy sigh, feigning sleep as she stretched to pull Katya closer. The noise stopped abruptly, their intruder evidently scared to wake them. Interesting. Tap tap. Trixie answered from where her hand now rested at the small of Katya’s back. The sound of their intruder letting out a breath they seemed to have been holding was loud in the quiet room. A plan. They needed a plan. Trixie quickly took note of the way Katya’s hand had slid beneath the pillow when she’d pulled her closer. Good, there was a knife beneath the pillow. She knew all she had to do was reach the bedside table to grab the gun there. They both just had to choose the right time to act. Their intruder stepped further into the room, letting out a hiss they stubbed their toe on the dresser. Amateur. Certainly not any kind of paranormal entity like a ghost or a spectre. Definitely not a demon as they’d salted the doors and windows before sleeping. The intruder, a man it sounded like, snook over to their bags, pulling the zips at a painstakingly slow speed. Tap tap. Now. With that the pair swung into action. Trixie practically jumped over Katya as the other woman rolled towards her. She slammed a hand on the switch for the bedside light, taking the gun in her other hand and raising it to their intruder. Katya had pulled the knife from under the pillow, and she was now stood on the other side of the bed holding out her long necklace adorned with a protective pendant from all the major religions, in case the intruder was spiritual in any way. “The gigs up.” Trixie said as the man’s shoulders slumped. He turned slowly, wincing at the click of the gun safety being disabled. “Alright, alright don’t sh-” He began as he turned slowly only to stop in surprise, his eyes wide as her looked them up and down. Trixie followed his gaze and groaned. “Dammit Kat, this shitty detective has seen more of me than some of my ex-boyfriends.” They were both completely naked with the exception of a love bite just above Katya’s hip. “Hey, I’m not shitty! I’m just trying to figure out what happened.” The man argued, looking hurt. “I would say we should stop going to bed naked but that would be waste of beauty.” Katya sighed dramatically before turning to wink at her lover. “To be fair we didn’t go to bed naked. But I don’t think we should sleep naked anymore.” Trixie nodded, deciding they should take that precaution so that next time their intruder didn’t get to see just so much of her paranormally ordained wife. While she felt exposed, naked in front of this man, it mostly bothered her that Katya was naked and on show. She regarded the man for a moment his eyes were flicking between the gun pointed at him and the ceiling. Interesting, while he lacked any tact taking to them earlier at least he was somewhat a gentleman. “Would you like some tea?” “What?” Both Katya and the detective said in unison. “We’re supposed to be on the same side, Inspector. So you’re going to sit down, have some tea and tell us why you’re looking through our underwear in the middle of the night.” Trixie said sternly, pointing at the chair next to bed. The man blinked, steadfastly avoiding looking at either of them as he walked over to the seat. Trixie followed him with the gun, watching him as his eyes darted around the room. “Put something on Kat, I don’t like other people seeing you naked.” Trixie sighed, appreciating the man’s efforts to not look at their bodies. “Same for you, blossom.” Katya said cheerily, pulling on Trixie’s college tshirt and a pair of boyshorts with cartoon cats on. The Russian bounded forward taking the gun from her partner as Trixie grabbed some clothes from the chair on the other side of the bed. She shot the detective a look as she walked past them and into the bathroom for a moment, switching on the provided kettle as she passed. “You don’t take advantage of her kind nature, or you will answer to me. Understand?" Katya hissed, leaning close to the detective, nothing between them but tension and the metal of the gun. "Kind nature? She pointed a gun at me and insulted me.” The man said incredulously, eyes flicking to the gun then back to the Russian in front of him. “Yeah but let’s just say there’s a reason she gets the gun and I get the knife, I tend to have less patience and my finger just…” She made the sound of the gun going off with her mouth before pulling away. The young detective flinched.

“A lot of weapons for reporters.” He mused, looking around the room. “This is an offence, you know.”

“There no need to be offended, Kev.” Katya said earnestly, enjoying the way the man blinked at her.

“A criminal offence.” He clarified as Trixie came out of the bathroom and made some tea.

“I know. That was a joke.” She sighed, rolling her eyes. She heard Trixie snort from the other end of the small room.

“Hilarious.” He replied dryly. “You’re not doing the best of jobs convincing me that you’re not the murderers, you know?“ "Get this Trix, he thinks we did it.” “Why does everyone always blame the lesbians?” Trixie sighed, as she walked back in with two cups of tea. She handed one to the detective and sat down on the bed across from him. “Don’t forget to check the door, babe.” Katya reminded her, taking the mug from her girlfriend and taking a sip. “Shit, yeah.” Trixie nodded, getting up to go and lock the door, ensuring that their line of salt wasn’t broken. “What’s with the sugar?” The detective asked, looking over at the door with a frown. Katya turned to look at the detective with thoroughly unimpressed look. How dumb can you get? “It’s salt.” Katya replied dryly. “Does that make a difference?” “Have you ever had popcorn? Of course it makes a difference.” Katya rolled her eyes, raising the gun as Trixie came past her. She wasn’t going to point a loaded gun at her lover even if it was only for a second. She cared about gun safety. “Why did you break into our room at… two o six in the morning?” Trixie asked, as Katya took a few steps back, leaning against the foot of the bed. “I know what you are.” “You know nothing about us.” Katya countered, some of her casual demeanour slipping at the detectives accusatory tone. This man didn’t know them. He didn’t know their lives before the paranormal, although some days Katya wasn’t sure she did either. He thought he knew what they were, but they were many things. They were hunters. They were explorers. They were bakers, when they had the facilities. They were goofballs. But first and foremost they were lovers.

Trixie put a hand on Katya’s knee. Whether it was a comforting gesture or a reminder to stay civil, she wasn’t quite sure. “You’re the killers, the cannibals.” “Oh my god, you know I wondered why those burgers we had yesterday had fingers.” Katya gasped, looking thoroughly pleased with herself as Trixie chuckled. “The murders started before we got here.” Trixie reminded him, taking the mug from Katya and blowing on the contents before taking a sip. “How do we know that? All we know is that you booked into a hotel after the murders began. You’re untraceable, nobody knows where you came from or who you are.” He explained. “Except now I suppose I know you to be Kat and Trix.” He added somewhat smugly putting his mug down on the bedside table. The tea was untouched. Trixie tried not to be offended. She supposed if he thought they were the cannibals he wouldn’t trust anything they gave him to consume. “Oh my god, don’t say that!” Katya cried in exasperation. “Did you learn nothing at the academy? If we were the murderers we’d have to kill you now because you just pointed out you know our names.” “Don’t mind her, she used to serve. Shoddy police work drives her up the wall.” Trixie informed him, lowering her voice as though confiding in him. Katya pushed hair from her face. “Shoddy police work?!” The detective cried, looking affronted. “Never mind that.” Trixie said with a careless wave of her hand. “Listen we’re not the killers. We will tell you who we are but you have to believe us.” “Wait Trix, him? Really? You want him to be our local cop?” Katya interrupted, hardly believing the words leaving her lover’s mouth. In every corner of the country, and in some cases the world, they’d touched down in during their adventures they would make a contact. It was usually a member of the local police department or a detective. Someone with information on cases and trusted them enough to not suspect them and value their expertise. This usually required persuasion, such as saving their asses from whatever unfortunate creature was chasing them. Sure most of them thought they were mad when they did the whole ‘monsters are real’ speech but they normally chose nice guys who weren’t dicks to them for no reason. “He’s obviously driven and desperate Katya, otherwise he wouldn’t have broken into our room to gather evidence that wouldn’t have held up in court.” Trixie reasoned, giving Katya a look that suggested she’d been thinking about this for a while. “And besides.” The blonde added, patting Katya’s leg. “I like the fucker.” She shrugged. “You like me?” The detective asked, clearly as dumbfounded as Katya. She never did understand Trixie’s ability to see good in people even if they were douchey to them. “Sure. It’s hard to explain. I got good women’s intuition.” “Here we go with your women’s intuition again.” Katya moaned. That damned women’s intuition. She knew it was just Trixie’s way of getting out of having to explain why she did things. Honestly she would say that Katya was rash then do something equally rash at the calling of her women’s intuition. “It has never once led us astray and can I also just say ‘third eye’ to you right now.” Trixie replied sternly, raising a finger as she did so. She looked like a teacher when she did that. Katya rolled her eyes. Her third eye was a real thing. Sure sometimes she couldn’t distinguish between her third eye telling her something and a Katy Perry induced headache, but that was beside the point. “I have no idea what’s going on.” Detective Kander confessed, looking between them with a bewildered look. A smirk touched Katya’s lips. She honestly kind of liked that people couldn’t understand them sometimes and found them hard to follow. It was almost like she and Trixie had their own language. Like they were on this wavelength that no one else could tap into. “Kevin, can I call you Kevin?” Trixie began, not waiting for a reply from the younger man. “We are not the cannibals. We hunters.” “Like rabbits and stuff?” He asked slowly. “No, like demons, like monsters, like ghosts, like Bigfoot. All that jazz.” Katya clarified, waiting for the inevitable disbelief. Three… two… one… “Oh my god you’re crazy.”

There it was. “You don’t think it’s odd that these disappearances have happened every full moon?”

“Serial killers can often be ritualistic.”

“They weren’t killed by any man, Detective. They were eaten alive, we saw one of the bodies. Its internal organs were gone and the stomach was torn apart.” Trixie reasoned, pausing to take a sip of tea. Katya fought a grin as she marvelled in how smart her girl was. It would be in poor taste to smile like a loon during this conversation, and it certainly wouldn’t help convince the detective they weren’t the killers. “We’ve seen this before. A lycanthrope in Kansas. Just the same.”

“Wait, lycanthrope. You mean like a werewolf.”

“Exactly.” Trixie nodded. “Have you been so focused on our coming into town that you haven’t noticed another body of individuals who came to town just before the murders began.” “The circus.” He blinked. “It’s the clowns.” Katya interjected. “It’s not the damn clowns Kat, you have no proof.” Trixie groaned in exasperation, they’d been having this debate basically all day. “Neither of you have any proof, this is ridiculous.” Kander insisted, looking between the pair as thought they were insane. “Look it’s not any damn werewolves. Even if I was crazy enough to believe something like that, I don’t know any werewolves who carry around butchers knives and butter.”

“What?” The women asked in unison.

“We found traces of butter and small cuts from a knife on the bones during the autopsy. Whoever did this was very human.” He explained. Katya turned to look at Trixie in bewilderment mixed with worry. They’d accepted that they were dealing with werewolves pretty quickly after finding out more about the deaths. But now, surely it couldn’t be. “So you want to run that werewolf bullshit past me again or are you going to confess?” He asked, standing for his seat.

“We didn’t do it.” Trixie insisted as she and Katya also stood.

“Sure, how about we go over that at the station.” The detective said derisively stepping towards Trixie. Katya stepped between them, scowling up at the man as she let the barrel of the gun rest against his chest. There was no way in hell he’d touch a golden hair on her head when Katya was around. That simply wasn’t happening.

“We will do no such thing. You broke into our hotel room without a search warrant and you have no right to arrest us with no charge.” Katya practically growled, causing the man to take a step back.

“You are both heavily armed and pointed a weapon at me.”

“It’s currently one of our legal rights as Americans to have guns, no matter how problematic that is.” Katya said, eyes sharp. “Leave now. I’m sure the last thing the local department needs right now is a scandal about how one of their detectives forced his way into the room of two young women to rifle through their underwear.”

“Don’t think this is over. I won’t rest until the culprits have been found and punished.” Detective Kander vowed, glaring at them as he headed over to the door. “Don’t leave the country.” He added, looking them in the eye as he kicked their salt line derisively and shut the door behind him.

“What a cunt.”

“He took it better than Detective Parker.” Trixie reminded her, moving across the room until she stood a Katya’s side. “What are we going to do now?” She asked as she rested her chin on Katya’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

“Full moon is tomorrow, I think it’s best for us to take a late night trip to the circus.” Katya sighed.

“But we don’t know what we’re dealing with.” Trixie said worriedly as Katya put a comforting hand on her arm, stroking her skin softly with her thumb.

“We just have to be prepared for anything.”

“That’s easier said than done.” Trixie laughed, although the humour wasn’t quite there. Katya turned her head so that they were face to face.

“I know, my love.” She said softly, leaning forwards to press a kiss to her partner’s lips.

“Are you coming back to bed?” Trixie asked, stepping away and catching Katya’s hand.

“No, I’m too wired. You go to sleep, I need to think.”

“I’ll help you.”

“It’s alright, get your beauty sleep, you need to be rested for tomorrow.” She said softly, as Trixie nodded, slipping back into their uncomfortable bed. Katya headed over to their bag, pulling out their laptop and opening it.

“I love you, trash can.” Trixie sighed, grin on her face at the name. Katya chuckled. Trixie would never let her live it down that the first time they met she’d been hidden in a trash can. Her hiding had been so good Trixie had nearly thought herself mad, thinking the bin was talking to her.

“Love you too, arm chair.” Katya snorted, ducking down to press a kiss to the top of Trixie’s head as the other woman settled into the flat pillow. Trixie rolled her eyes, managing to smack Kayta’s ass playfully just before the woman stepped out of reach. Katya stuck her tongue out as she sat down at the tiny table with the laptop.

…………

10:37pm, The Circus

“Right, ready to narrowly escape getting eaten alive.” Katya asked brightly, checking that her gun was fully loaded. She knew it was as she’d filled it purposefully with a mixture of silver bullets and blessed bullets the night before, in case whatever they were dealing with could be shot. There was something about the few hours before an inevitable battle that made her paranoid.

“I don’t like not knowing what we’re up against.” Trixie said anxiously, looking out of the window and into the darkness. “Normally we’re better prepared.” She sighed, chewing her lip.

“Trixie, it’ll be ok. How many times have we done this sort of thing before?” Katya assured her, putting a warm hand on her knee. Trixie turned to look at her with a small smile.

“Lots. And it’s always really dangerous.” She replied, eyes searching Katya’s face as her lips twitched into a smile.

“And that’s why you like it.”

“I love you.” Trixie said earnestly, looking into Katya’s eyes. She suspected that Katya could see the little pink hearts that replaced her eyes every time she gazed at the other woman.

“Love you too.” Katya smiled, putting a hand on the back of Trixie’s head to pull her into a kiss. Trixie sighed as their lips met. There was a small part of her that always worried this kiss would be their last. After a long moment she pulled away and smiled at her lover.

“I think you should wear this tonight. Just in case.” Katya said, pulling a small silver medallion from under her shirt. Her sister had given it to her as a sort of protective good luck charm. Katya was never really sure if it really worked. She’d never seen anything like it in any book and she wouldn’t put it past her sister to give her a placebo charm but if it did have any protective powers, Trixie should be wearing it.

“Your medallion. No Katya, that’s yours.” Trixie shook her head.

“I’d rather you wear it, if it does offer any protection, I want you to have it.” Katya continued, fiddling with the clasp beneath her long, thick hair.

“I’m not helpless, Katya.” Trixie sighed, a note of annoyance to her voice that made Katya stop suddenly.

“I know, beautiful. You’re anything but. I just want you to be safe.” Katya tried to explain, letting her hands fall to her lap.

“You know I’d rather you wear it for the exact same reason.” Trixie laughed with less humour than she’d likely intended. “While you’re busy putting yourself into danger to protect me do you ever consider what I would do if something happened to you? What it would do to me if something happened to you? Especially if it was at my expense.” The car fell silent. This was something that had been eating away at Trixie ever since the incident with the poltergeist that had left her medically dead for a month before being resurected by a teary Katya and her sister. Part of her loved that Katya was protective of her, it showed that she really cared about her. But sometimes it meant Katya didn’t think about her own safety.

“I’m sorry.” Katya said after a long moment, eyes flicking to meet Trixie’s. The younger woman swallowed, immediately feeling guilty for snapping at the other woman, no matter how true the words. This wasn’t the time or the place for this conversation.

“I’m sorry too, this whole thing has got me a little worked up. I’ll feel better once I know what we’re dealing with.” Trixie sighed, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “Wear the medallion Katya, it goes with your outfit.” She added with a smile, reaching out to take Katya’s hand to let her know they were okay. Katya caught her eye and smiled.

“Huh, that might be the first time I’ve worn a coordinating outfit in years and I wasn’t even trying.” Katya joked, looking down at her outfit in exaggerated surprise.

“I didn’t say your whole outfit, girl.” Trixie grinned, rolling her eyes fondly. Katya laughed, squeezing her hand before pulling it to her lips. Trixie squeezed her hand back before pulling away, enjoying the red lipstick imprint of Katya’s lips marked on the back of her hand. “You got your butt kicking boots on?”

“You betcha.” Katya laughed as they got out of the car, flashlights in hand.

……………

“Ok.” Katya said, hair swishing slightly as she dangled upside down from the ceiling. “So it’s alien clowns.” “Uh-huh.” Trixie hummed, hands almost brushing the ground as she spun ever so slightly. The pair were strung up by oddly coloured chains that were wrapped almost painfully around their ankles. They were in a fully concrete room, the walls sloping oddly. It seemed to be some kind of cell. “You’re two handies up on me.” “Where’s the detective when you need him?” Katya asked with a chuckle. “Still trying to blame us probably. How are you holding up over there?” Trixie mused, turning her head to look at Katya. The Russian gave her a soft look, reaching out to see if they could touch one and other. “I can’t decide whether to be excited because aliens or be terrified because clowns.” She confessed, sighing as their fingers tips hung barely a centimetre or so apart. “I mean, I watched one of those clowns literally dislocate its jaw to swallow a bird whole. Snatched it out of the fucking air.” “I was there, Katya. How about we be terrified because they’re going to eat us?” Trixie sighed, letting her arms hang back down. She let out an annoyed grunt as her chain began to spin again. It was really starting to get on her nerves. “Eh.” Katya shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. “How are you doing?” “I just feel bad for them.” Trixie replied nonchalantly. “Why?” “They’re gonna eat you. Bet you taste like cigarettes, Red Bull, coffee and crying. And have the consistency of jerky left out in the sun for two years.” Trixie laughed. “But with a little bit of whoo!” Katya added, laughing along with her. “Anyway I thought you knew what I tasted like pretty well.” “Humans, will you please act like you are imprisoned. We are sick of the sound of your kind.” A gravelly exasperated sounding voice spoke as part of the concrete wall became see through. On the other side of the wall stood a clown who seemed to be on guard. “Do we have to be upside down? It’s messing up my hair.” Trixie asked, hoping to weed some information out of the guard. “Being upside down isn’t so bad.” Katya mused, evidently enjoying the annoyance she was causing. Trixie rolled her eyes. Katya could be so devil may care sometimes. It was definitely going to get her eaten first. “I see London, I see France…” She began to sign, turning to look at Trixie’s exposed underwear.

“This is the last time I bring a dress to a trouser fight.” Trixie grumbled. “I hate humans.” The guard sighed, hand coming to massage his red nose. Trixie bit her lip. She knew that the creatures wanted to brutally gut them and devour their innards but she couldn’t help but find the squeaking noise the nose made amusing. “Pretty sure that’s racist.” Katya informed it. “Species-ist?” “I think the UN are going have to establish some terminology now there’s confirmation of other life forms.” Trixie mused as the guard reached for something beside him. “Trix-” Katya began, sniffing as the air took a soft pink hue. “Do you smell-” “Dammit.” The younger woman cursed as they slipped out of consciousness. ……… “Katya.” A voice called as Katya began to feel consciousness dragging her back to the cell.

“Not now Trix, Ellie’s about to go through the wormhole.”

“Katya wake up.” The voices insisted, funny Trixie’s voice sounded oddly deep. And why was she putting on a Carolina accent. A hand patted her cheek sharply and she suddenly opened her eyes. “Kevin, where the hell have you been? Call yourself a detective.” Katya snapped as the detective swam into her vision. “Hey Bern, how’re the germs?” Bernie blinked, evidently not sure how to respond.

“Abhorrent as usual?” The hairy man replied as he helped the detective get her down from the ceiling.

“Took you long enough.” Katya huffed as the detective held her weight as Bernie untied the chains. They managed to get her down fairly easily, although Katya wasn’t a fan of being held upside down by a man almost half her size. “We didn’t cover killer alien clowns in the academy.” He snorted, catching Katya as she wobbled. He was taking the whole thing suprisingly well. Maybe Trixie was right. The world swam before her eyes as he slid her down to sit for a moment. All the blood had run to her head, leaving her legs weak. “You win Trix, he’s not so bad.” Katya laughed. There was no reply. The Russian’s heart sunk when she looked to her left to see nobody there. “Where’s Trixie?!” “She’s here too?" "I’m here, of course she’s fucking here too.” She cried incredulously, trying to gather her strength to stand. “She was chained up next to me.” “Woah, you can’t go anywhere yet. I’ll go look for her.” The detective insisted, catching her as she wobbled. “My wife is being primed up as a delicious starter for a bunch of alien clown motherfuckers. I am not staying here.” She insisted, heading towards the opening the pair had entered through. The Kevin and Bernie shared a look before stepping forwards to help her.

"Trixie’s your wife? Women can’t get legally married in this country.” Bernie asked as he offered her an arm for support until her legs become fully cooperative. “We’re married in the spiritual sense.” She informed them, taking the arm gratefully. She didn’t half have pins and needles in her feet. The pair nodded in understanding. “As in we were married by a spirit.” She added, earning two surprised looks. “You’re very odd.” Bernie mused. Katya snorted, Bernie the Wolf Man, walking talking hairy freak show attraction thought she was odd. Most people might use that as a trigger to do some serious self-reflection on their mental state. Katya took it as a compliment. “Trixie finds it charming.” She shrugged with a smile. The smile dropped quickly as she wondered where her lover was. She hated being separated from her like this. They’d been practically glued together at the hip since the night they met all those years ago. Not being together frightened Katya, she couldn’t protect Trixie if she wasn’t with her.

She and Trixie had been through a lot since they’d met four years ago. They’d had many close calls, as was the nature of their business but Katya couldn’t imagine living without the other woman. She’d been unlucky enough to experience Trixie dying already. They’d had this case in Hollywood, a poltergeist that was haunting a basement studio. Katya would never forget the moment she’d turned to see Trixie raised into the air, body at an odd angle as glass from studio lights and cameras swirled around her.

Katya’s had felt the fall as though it had been her own body to hit the floor once she finally managed to expel the spirit. She’d made a joke, a stupid pun as she made her way over to check Trixie for bumps and bruises. The fall hadn’t been that far so she’d expected a groan at the joke and snarky comment. She hadn’t expected a gasp of pain and blood as Trixie shifted onto her back. There was so much blood. She’d forgotten about the glass.

She’d heard Trixie’s last words choke from her lips, that afternoon. Of course they were about her. A confession between friends, one that they’d both been to afraid to verbalise.That had been the first time Katya had ever heard Trixie say she loved her and every day she wished that memory wasn’t tainted by blood and sorrow. Katya had insisted she felt the same a she watched as the light drain from her eyes. It still haunted her.

Katya had called in every favour she had with her twin sister Briana, or as she called her Doctor Bitchcraft, who lived as a witchdoctor beneath the Hollywood sign. She’d offered the woman everything she owned, all her money, what little she had, the clothes off her back and even her baby, the Impala, in exchange for Trixie. Briana had eyed her for a moment before looking down at the motionless body of the pretty girl in front of her.

She’d sent Katya on a month long quest of sorts to find all the rare ingredients for the spell to save Trixie, keeping the body in a magically frozen state until she returned so that Trixie’s spirit could not pass over.

Katya had cried like a baby the moment Trixie’s eyes opened again, her chest heaving as she took her first breath in over a month. Her sister had sat back and watched as the pair had desperately embraced, words that they’d been meaning to say tumbling from their mouths.

That was how they got together and there wasn’t a day the memory didn’t delight and haunt Katya.

There were night she wake up in a sweat, momentarily panicked when she didn’t find Trixie in her arms. Trixie would simply open her eyes and roll over from the other side of the bed, pressing herself against Katya to remind her she was still there.

She couldn’t go back to being alone. Since her sister’s death she didn’t know anyone who would do a resurrection of that kind again. If she lost Trixie this time, she would really be gone and Katya wouldn’t be able to bare it. ………. The unlikely trio turned yet another plain looking corner and suddenly found themselves inside a large, chamber-like room. It was bizarre. It looked like a medieval dining room and yet the walls were covered in odd pieces of complicated looking technology. In the centre of the room stood a huge wooden dining table. And on either side of the table laid almost naked two figures, clad only in their underwear. Each lay motionless and seemingly tied down to the thick wood. The second Katya caught sight of familiar golden hair and hot pink lace, she knew who it was.

“Trixie!” She gasped, causing the other woman to turn to look at her. Katya made to step properly into the large room when Trixie quickly shook her head. The Russian stopped, putting her arms out to the men beside her and pushing them back further into the shadows of the corridor they’d come from. Trixie raised her index and middle fingers at them as best she could with her hands buckled beside her head.

“Is she swearing at us?” Bernie asked in scandalised horror. Katya rolled her eyes.

“Two of them in there.”

“What are we gonna do?”

“I don’t know, we need a plan.” Katya hissed, pulling them into a nearby alcove.

Almost ten minutes later they’d formulated a seemingly fool proof plan after a lot of heated whispered debate. They all nodded at each other. Each secure in their rolls, Katya stepped forward.

“People at the party, and I’m wanting to dance.” Katya sang, cartwheeling into the room. She was the distraction, aka she had the most balls out of the three of them. If there was one thing she was even better at than monster hunting, it was being distracting. She turned, expecting to see two clowns looking at her with confused and maybe slightly impressed looks.

“Wait so you left me for long enough for the clowns to straight up get bored and wander off. And you were using that time to come up with a plan at comprised of you singing Same Parts?” Trixie grumbled, looking thoroughly unimpressed. As if Katya’s obsession with the song by pop sensation Tatianna wasn’t bad enough the rest of the time. It was like she couldn’t even almost die without hearing a Tatianna lyric. Some things just weren’t sacred anymore.

“It would have worked.” Katya insisted, making her way over to her partner. “Guys, the coast is clear.” She called behind her. Two slightly disappointed men came from the corridor. Their plan had really been good. She sighed. What a waste of a Tatianna lyric.

“Anyway, thank goodness you came.“ Trixie breathed, letting her head fall back against the lettuce and rocket beneath her head. "They were about to eat me with instant mashed potatoes! Instant!” She said incredulously as Katya and Kevin began to untie her. “What? You deserve real organic potatoes in the least.” Katya insisted, helping the other woman down from the table as Kevin went to check on Helena. “God you’re so romantic.” Trixie sighed. Bernie removed his shirt and offered it to Trixie to cover herself, leaving himself in a vest. She took it appreciativley, pulling the floral print shirt on. It hung almost to her knees and she had to roll the sleeves up. She mirrored Katya’s grin as the Russian slipped an arm around her lower back. “Um, ladies.” The detective interjected, looking around the room worriedly. “Not now Kev, we have a ritual. We do the thing, we say something cheesy, we kiss, go get food then we bone. A. Lot.” Katya reprimanded, not once looking up from Trixie’s face, grin fixed on her lips. “It’s sacred.” Trixie nodded.

“Only there’s a bunch of killer alien clown motherfuckers looking at us and I reckon they’re not happy you’re trying to steal their dinner.” Kevin stammered, causing the pair to finally look away from each other. They turned to see eight red-eyed clowns staring at them.

“Ok, we’re outnumbered.” Katya breathed, looking around for a weapon. One of the clowns let out a horrifyingly creepy chuckle.

“Maybe we can reason with them?” Bernie said hopefully. The creatures all bared their long, sharp fangs. Their jaws seemed to dislocate, looking almost like an oversized toothy grin.

“I hope you taste as good as you are annoying, humans.” One of the aliens growled, saliva dripping from its teeth as they all began to close in on the four of them. Katya tried to maintain her look of horror as she felt Trixie pass her a piece of cold metal. Weapons are more effective if they’re a surprise. It felt like a knife. Perfect.

“Reasoning seems out, Dog Man” Katya said with a raised eyebrow, patting the hairy man’s back. “You may want to get behind us.” She whispered to the men as the creatures came ever closer.

“You’re mad.” Bernie huffed, raising his fists in front of him. Huh, seems all it took was a bunch of alien clowns who wanted to eat you to turn a pacifist into a fighter. The detective pulled out his gun, preparing himself for the fight. Katya wished she had her gun too.

The first creature lunged at Trixie, earning a punch to the face as the others three dispersed, each finding their own battle. Trixie raised her knife, jabbing it towards the hideous clowns in front of her. The pair dodged away from her, trying to find a weak spot. Katya raised the weapon she’d been given ready to stab one of the creatures when she saw what she was holding.

“You gave me a damned fork?!” Katya cried incredulously as she realised what was in her hand. She quickly shoved it between her teeth and began to fist fight with the clown that lunged at her.

“Stab in four places at once.” Trixie yelled back as she managed to slash one of the clown’s throats. It shrieked and began to shrivel as though becoming crispy and dry. The remains crumbled in multi-coloured dust before her eyes. She looked up with wide eyes at the other clown in front of her who had reached into his oversized trousers. She had to admit there was a small part of her that was thankful it was some sort of futuristic looking gun of all the things the creature could have been keeping in there. That feeling was short lived as she realised what appeared to be a ray gun was much more dangerous than a dick would have been.

Katya’s head shot up at Trixie’s shout of the words ‘ray gun’. She was sat on a corpse that was quickly disintegrating beneath her. Aliens and ray guns! This was fantastic. Well, it was until she saw said ray gun pointed at Trixie. For a lack of anything else to do in the short amount of time she spat the fork into her hand and tossed it across the room.

Trixie gasped as she felt dust cloud into her face. She blinked, coughing on the blur of colours in front of her. Right in front of her, wedged between the heavy stones, stood a fork. She turned to give Katya an, admittedly thankful, ‘I told you so’ look. Katya gave her the finger before being jumped on from behind by one of the clowns.

Trixie grabbed the gun from the ground and ran towards her, leaping up onto the large table. She fumbled with the gun, pulling the trigger but nothing happened.

“If you could shoot this dick at some point.” Katya cried, managing to roll the creature off her back.

“I’m trying. He didn’t teach me how to use it before he got forked, Kat!”

“Give it to me then.”

“I forgot you did a course in alien weaponry in school.” She snapped, pulling one of the knobs and nearly jumping out of her skin as the gun flashed bright green suddenly. She pulled the trigger, disintegrating the clown that was seconds away from sinking its teeth into her lover.

“Sarcasm is not becoming of a lady.” Katya shouted as she rushed to help Bernie who was trying to fist fight three clowns at once. Kevin ran towards her, throwing his now empty gun at the fat clown chasing him. Trixie dropped the gun onto the table and grabbed a large metal dish.

“Duck.” She cried as the detective approached. The young man dropped and rolled. Unfortunately for the clown, it didn’t register the words before the metal dish hit it square in the face. It hit the ground with a heavy thud, sounding almost like a dropped bag of flour. Trixie handed the dish to Kevin who brought the edge sharply down on the creature’s neck. Colourful dust spilled from its clothing.

Bernie and Katya managed to take down one of the clowns but quickly found themselves running away. Bernie directed them towards a large fireplace, grabbing Katya’s arm to pull her away from a lunging creature. Once the arrived at the target destination he grabbed a fire poker handing it to Katya before grabbing a heavy metal kettle.

Bernie struck his creature first, sending it tumbling back. It snarled at him, lunging forwards again and this time managing a deep scratch on his arms with its exposed fangs before Katya swung her poker and flung it away. Luckily Bernie did not seem too badly hurt as he quickly turned to the other clown and began to fight it.

“Say hello to your dead dad on the beach.” Katya cried, raising the metal pole to strike the final blow to the vicious creature. Kevin ran to help Bernie take down the clown as Trixie dropped to untie Helena from the table. Lucky girl to sleep through the whole ordeal. Trixie hadn’t realised just how lucky they were the aliens hadn’t found them quiet annoying enough to sedate them like they had her.

“Oh my God. Contact!” The alien said suddenly, looking up at her with shining eyes. “I love that movie.” He breathed, hand on his chest as though he had never found another being who understood him better. Katya faltered, willingness to kills a creature she had so much in common with slipping. They both liked the movie Contact and eating Trixie, admittedly in different ways but it’s whatever.

Trixie’s head snapped around at the words she feared most in this world. No! Not another person, well creature, that loved that damned movie. She marched across the room. She could not let this thing encourage Katya’s insistence to talk about that crap.

“Hey. We were bonding!” Katya cried as Trixie shot the clown in the face. The creautre fell into colourful dust alongside the others. The floor was now an odd juxtaposition of dirty, grey stone and brightly coloured rainbow dust.

“He was reaching for a weapon.” Trixie insisted, quickly returning to untying the young girl.

“What weapon?”

“It was concealed.” Trixie shrugged.

“He was reaching for concealer. To fix his make up?” Katya asked in her valley girl voice. Trixie looked at her with dead eyes.

“I wish they’d eaten me.” Trixie groaned from deep within her soul. Katya cackled.

“Don’t worry, I’ll eat you if you like.” She offered, nudging the other woman with her elbow. The detective took off his coat to cover Helena’s Wonder Woman underwear and keep her warm. He picked her up, thankful to have finally found her. He’d been so worried.

“Is it just me that finds being around them a constant state of being amused and uncomfortable?” Bernie asked turning to the detective with a helpless look.

“Same, man. Same.” The detective nodded as Bernie wandered towards the computers curiously.

“Well that’s all done.” Katya said, clapping her hands before brushing coloured dust from the shoulder of her jacket.

“I don’t even know where to start with the paperwork.” Kevin confessed.

“I heard them say they kept her sedated pretty much all the time because she screamed a full hour when they first took her.” Trixie said, checking the girl’s pulse. It was low but regular, similar to that of someone who was simply sleeping. “Ours wore off though, so I can only assume hers will too.” She added, gently pulling at the girl’s eyelid to check her eyes.

“Maybe you just found her out on the highway, walking or something.” Katya suggested.

“The bodies disintegrate so there’s no suspicion there.” Trixie added, wiggling her toes with a look of disgust. She was barefoot and she could feel gritty powder between her toes. Great. There were bits of alien clowns between her toes. Perfect.

“Wrapped up pretty neatly I’d say.” Katya nodded.

“What about the big fuck off spaceship we’re in?” The detective cried. Trixie and Katya both blinked. They hadn’t actually seen this place from the outside. They’d been taken from the circus and the next thing they knew they were hanging upside down in a cell.

“Guys.” Bernie interjected from his place beside a collection of screens and blinking lights.

“Not now, Dog Man.” Katya waved a hand. “Only I think this building may explode.” He informed them, quickly catching their attention. They all rushed over. “Inspector?” He asked, motioning to the screen. Bernie took Helena gently from Kevin. The detective surged forwards, pressing buttons in a way that was obviously supposed to look like he knew what he was doing. “In the academy they taught us some basic coding and this looks like a detonation.” He said quickly, flicking another switch hopefully. “I don’t know why I ever doubted you, Kevin.” Katya nodded cheerily, clapping on the back. Kevin blinked at her, open mouthed. It took a second for her to rerun his words in her head. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah, you have to be a trained specialist to understand a detonation countdown and a big red flashing button.” Trixie pointed out, the cold of the stone floor stinging at her feet. Kevin flipped another switch. The room around them became suddenly blurry, as though the edges of the room were shifting in and out of focus. The room around them suddenly became a sixties nautical themed room. The cold floor beneath Trixie’s feet was replaced with a grey rug in the shape of a swordfish. “Is this a run now or a ‘I can disable it’ kind of thing?” Katya asked, looking around at the design of the room with interest. “Ummm. Oh no.” He said quickly. “The first one. The first one!” He cried, the pitch of his voice fluctuating to something almost comically high as he read the screen. The detective ran, grabbing the two by the arm to turn them round. The pair looked at each other for less than a second before bolting after him. Bernie hurried behind them, carrying the unconscious girl. …………. “There we go. All done here.” Katya said, shutting the trunk of her beloved car and wiping her dusty hands on her jeans much to Trixie’s annoyance. “Where to now?” “Well the thing is we never finished our ritual.” Trixie pointed out, leaning against the trunk of the car with a coy smile. “That is very true.” Katya nodded, raising her eyebrows with a grin. “Where did we get up to?” “Well we did the say something cheesy part but I don’t think we can just jump to the kissing.” Trixie said seriously, hands coming up to straighten the front of Katya’s purple leather jacket. She wasn’t really a fan of the purple one on Katya. It looked great on her though. She was waiting for the day Katya would realise that and just give it to her. “You’re right the kissing has to come after the cheesy.” Katya agreed, stepping closer to her lover. “You got any good lines?” Trixie grinned. Katya paused for a second, looking up at the sky and sighing thoughtfully as she let her hands fall to rest on Trixie’s hips. She hummed. “I hope those aliens checked their smoke detectors before having you because laid out on the platter, you were smokin’.” Katya purred, wiggling her shoulders excitedly. "Ok, that surpassed cheesy and was just bad.” Trixie snorted, rolling her eyes fondly. “You’re lucky I love you.” She sighed, stroking a hand over Katya’s cheek. She pulled the other woman close, pressing her lips to her lover’s with a smile. Katya hummed, pulling her flush against her own body. Trixie’s arms slid around the Russian’s neck, fingers curling into her blonde hair.

After a few minutes, Katya pulled away, dipping to press another quick kiss to Trixie’s lips as though not wanting to stop kissing her. It was odd. She’d kissed Trixie so many times over the past few years. And yet every time their lips met, a bolt of nerves and pleasure shot down her spine and pooled in her stomach. “Now, I believe, let me just check my list.” Katya mimed pulling a list from her pocket and folding it out. Trixie snorted, watching the other woman fondly. “Ah, yep. An I.O.U for two handies, subject to be paid in full by one Trixie Mattel.” “We haven’t eaten yet.” Trixie pointed out, looking down at the hand placed scandalously high up on her thigh. “We’ll get in and out on the way back to the room.” Katya suggested, patting Trixie’s thigh before stepping back and pulling the car keys from her jacket pocket. “And then we’ll go to In and Out burger, get it?” Trixie joked as they walked around the car to their respective sides. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.” Katya snorted, shaking her head as she slid into the driver’s seat. Trixie laughed as she joined the other woman in the car. Kevin waved as the car pulled away. It certainly wasn’t the last time he’d see the hunters throughout his career, but what would continue to surprise him every time was just how perfect the pair were for each other. And that’s how the two local to nowhere hunters defeated killer alien clowns and introduced the currency of handies to a small town.

#new year new au #ellen thwoorp #katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel #trixya #lesbian au #cisgirl au #au #fluff #minor angst #horror #humour #rpdr fanfiction #tw death mentions #tw mild gore #tw abduction mention #tw clowns #submission

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