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angelicstrawberries · 1 year

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NSFW? Well I have a request!

Could you do Kyle Broflovski finding out he has feeling for Y/N (who has the same bland no bs personality as Douchebag from Sot) But the poor boy just turns into a closet perv, he knows what he does is wrong and tries to hide it from everyone but it just gets worse.

YES YES YES I LOVE THIS TY

Warnings:smut, nsfw, pervy kosher boy

Kyles POV

I never really took myself for a pervert like Cartman or Kenny, but thats when I saw her. Y/N Y/L/N, she was perfect. In every way she caught my eye from her soft hair to her personality, she didnt take anyones shit. She won every fight (granted a lot of them were with fatass but that just made her hotter) I always felt bad for having those thoughts about her, but there was no doubt in my mind that she was the one for me. I memorized her class schedule, down to every minute just so i could pass her in the halls even if I was supposed to be going the opposite direction. She sat with us at lunch thanks to Cartman, weirdly enough she met him first probably because she made friends with butters, her neighbor and he introduced to two of them those lucky assholes get to live by Y/N while I have to walk all the way down the street to find her, I bike by her house daily, occasionally catching glimpses of her changing, when that happens i speed home with a boner in my pants. I love everything about her. Shes just so.. perfect how I would love to pin her against my bed, slamming into her.

Today I decided to try and get rid of my feelings, I was going to partner with Y/N for our class project. Once I did that I would have combined my main focus in life with her, not saying she wasnt on my mind every second of every day, one time i stole her panties, that was a low day. No way to get a boner if your doing hard math problems right? Wrong.

Y/Ns POV

I always knew kyle had a crush on me, because I had a crush on him. I memorized his class schedule and noticed how he would go the opposite direction of where he was supposed to go in the halls, he would sit across from me at lunch to ogle my tits, and bike by my house every day, I made sure to be changing during those times to watch him see me, quickly u-turn and race back home with a tent in his pants. I never really thought of myself to be that attractive but it sure was a confidence boost. I really wanted him to ask me out but it seemed he couldnt manage to get a word out without getting a boner, that is until he partnered up with me for a math project. “So my place or yours?” I questioned Kyle “my brother would annoy us so is your house cool?” He asked with a shade of pink over his cheeks “That works, my parents are gonna be out of the house” you said packing up your stuff to leave, “see you after school”.

Lunch

You walked over to your table hearing the familiar sound of Kyle having a fight with Cartman, “SHUT UP YOU SNEAKY JEW” Stan explained that Cartman called Kyles mom a bitch and Kyle said his mom was a whore. Once you split up the two of them having to slap Cartman just to stop him from throwing a tantrum you finally started eating, “so Kahl, how is it having a pervy crush on Y/N” Kyle turned to Cartman and punched him square in the face and once again you had to split the two of them up. Luckily no teacher saw and you all avoided detention, but you couldnt help but think about Kyle for the rest of the day.

At Home

Your doorbell ringed, you went to open the door and found Kyle standing there, sweaty and red shifting around uncomfortably, “come on in Kyle” you said “welcome to my humble abode” you giggled with arms spread as if your house was a castle.

Kyles POV

I stood there at her door, a nervous mess I ringed the doorbell when she opened the door my jaw almost dropped, she was wearing tighter clothes than what she wears at school, what was once a baggy t-shirt was a tight shirt excentuating her curves. “Come on in Kyle” she said “welcome to m y humble abode” she giggled twirling around with arms spread, you followed her upstairs watching her hips sway as she climbed the stairs holy fuck I want to take her against the wall right now.

I decided it was no time to be flustered. I was going to test the waters.

I placed one of my hands on her thigh as carefully as possible, I looked for her reaction, her face immediately turned red and her breath caught in her throat, cute. “Hey y/n” I turned towards her “y-yeah?” She was so flustered it was adorable “about what cartman said…” she stopped shakily working, “yeah?” “He was right” she faced me “finally” she said leaning in and kissing me.

IDK what POV this is

Kyles hand gripped yours, squeezing a bit. God his hand is so big you thought he slowly inched his hand towards the hem of your leggings, tugging them down while you fumbled with his zipper, “are you sure?” Kyle breathed out in a low groan “yes Im sure kyle” you said finally getting she zipper down “wait I want to do something first’’ Kyle said laying you back on your bed pulling off your leggings and shirt, his fingers danced to the hem of your panties slowly taking them off and revealing your core, you tried to close your legs, insecure about what he thought about you but he held them open “so fucking pretty” he said leaving little hickeys on your inner thighs, making his way to your labia, he spread them and saw your hole, it was beginning to clench around nothing at all, showing him jujst how desperate you were for him, he began licking circles around your clit before dragging his tongue down to your rim, licking around it before plunging his tongue into you, eating you out like a starved man. Your hands reached to his hair, pulling him away from your pussy, “please Kyle I need you” he needed to hear no more and slide off his boxers, your jaw almost hit the ground, this man was big.

Kyle got a smug smirk on his face, rubbing the tip of his cock on your hole, gathering up the wetness before easing himself into you with a low groan, your walls clenched around him, hugging him so perfectly he couldve sworn he was in heaven, he began pumping in and out of you, and putting a finger down to rub your clit, soon enough you orgasmed around him, he kept going through your orgasm, before finally emptying himself into you, pulling out and laying back on your bed.

You guys start dating <3

I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD ENOUGH

#kenny mccormick smut #southpark smut #southpark x reader #southpark #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski smut

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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11x13kyle · 4 months

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that one argument that nick and stav had on cum town as the boys

kyle: we're able to leave in peace. i go off to whatever i'm gonna do, cartman dies--

cartman: no???

kyle: kenny lives off his situationship's journalism money until she gets tired of that and that ends.

kenny (their guest that invited himself on this particular episode): oh i think she probably is already!

cartman: i'll live a long, fruitful life, raising children and grandchildren on a meadow with a farm, fresh berries--

kyle: it's so funny that you think that's how your life is gonna go.

cartman: it will, dude.

kyle: it's--you're NOT gonna get control of your weight, it's gonna end tragically.

cartman: you are SUCH a hater

kyle: i'm not a HATER, i care about you--

cartman: no, you don't, you just wanna--you say bad, mean things to people to make them feel bad!

kenny: it's not mean!

kyle: it's not MEAN dude.

kenny: it's maybe a little--

kyle: if i was sitting here--look, if i was sitting here smoking five and a half packs of cigarettes a day, my eyes are yellow, i'm having tumors removed from my mouth--

cartman: that was a random tumor that had nothing to do with my weight--

kyle: and--and i was like "i'll stop smoking when i'm 45!"

cartman: that's not even what i'm saying, man--

kyle: at WORST this has taken five years off my life, i'll live all the way to 65

cartman: whatever bro

kyle: i can just continue to smoke--

cartman: you're a hateful little bitch--

kyle: chainsmoke cigarettes--

cartman: it's gonna be--i am gonna be bouncing my fucking children on my knee, my grandchildren, on a meadow, feeding them fresh berries--

kyle: you'll be lucky if you still HAVE a fucking knee! by whenever the time you think this is gonna happen.

cartman: you REALLY think you're not a hater?

kyle: yeah, i dont--

cartman: you in your heart believe you're saying something true and good to your friend right now?

kyle: i think it's like--

kenny: yeah, i--

kyle: no, i mean, if you want--honestly? i do think like.....like, yes, it may be harsh, but i do think you need to have some kind of like fucking wake up call. like what changes have you made that are like permanent changes?

cartman: i'm not fucking--first of all, i'm not talking about this on the fucking podcast.

kyle: why not?

kenny: but you are--

cartman: huh?

kyle: why not?!

cartman: because it's not--i'm not trying to fucking talk about it on the podcast!

kyle: not talk about what, like a DIET or whatever? i mean...

cartman: yeah, that's--it isn't funny, and also it's like, you're not HELPFUL--

kyle: most of the PODCAST isn't funny!

kenny: yeah, you guys get a couple good things in there that--

cartman: whatever, we're done, the podcast is over at this point, i'm not trying to fucking have this--

kyle: THIS episode is...

cartman: yes, i'm fine with that too, i've had a fucking terrible 40 minutes--

kyle: i mean this--but like do you not like--in no way is it--

kenny : we don't HAVE to talk about--

kyle: SHUT UP. is--in NO way there's like--there's no way to express any kind of, like, concern?

cartman: saying i'm going to DIE is not the way you--you don't know how to talk to people, that is your CENTRAL problem--

kyle: no but i mean--NO, hold on--

cartman: and--and this is not the way to talk to someone--

kyle: hold on, i've known you for YEARS and like--this didn't start with like "ohhh, you're going to die!" like...i've like WATCHED you lose teeth, you know, be bedridden...

cartman: that has NOTHING TO DO with having a fucking--that has nothing to do with fucking being fat, dude, losing teeth, are you kidding me?! it's a completely different dental thing! you also literally don't know how to fucking talk to anybody, it is not helpful the way you speak to me in ANY--like, you're not...HELPFUL, you're not fucking supportive in any way--

kyle: well, what's helpful? what's this, what's this--

cartman: sometimes you're a mean piece of SHIT and telling me i'm gonna fucking die over and over again is exactly that!

kyle: then what's like--what IS supportive, then?

cartman: uh, just fucking--what we're doing now, having a schedule so i can fucking plan my life and go to the gym and fucking eat well, that's supportive! the podcast--

kyle: no but like what's--what is the correct way to like express concern? if it's a problem where it's like my TONE is wrong, i mean i, like, sure i can EASILY change that or address it.

cartman: yes, your tone is wrong ALL the TIME, that's your personality!

kenny: that's the thing, it's coming from a place of love, though, it's not like--

cartman: it doesn't MATTER if it's coming from a place of love--listen--

kenny: he's not trying to--

cartman: i don't want this on the podcast!

kenny: he's not trying to be a dick--

cartman: can we just stop fucking having this--

kyle: we can cut--we can cut this--

cartman: but it's like, it's not--

kenny: but i mean there's people that like also are like--that care about you that listen to the show, i don't know, it's like not--

cartman: the show will never help me lose weight! the show is a fucking JOB. the only thing the show will do is get people to mock my weight, it's not gonna be fucking helpful, it's FINE i don't give a fuck, but i AM fucking--i have made a concerted effort--the last year of my life i was getting my fucking shit together for real and then i hurt my fucking foot and the last year has been a fucking incredibly unstable year for me, i'm not even talking on the mic anymore but it's like--it's been a HORRIBLE fucking year i had a fucking--hurt my foot, i had a fucking fight with my mom, like all this shit has been HORRIBLE--

#microceleb au

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lost-walmartbag · 11 months

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Kenny x reader pt 2

Song: Dark Paradise - Lana Del Rey

Warning: Swearing, violence, toxic relationship, mild sexual content

Background: You go to a party to get your mind off Kenny but he doesn't let that happen.

Status: Ongoing

Previous part

Next part

'Jealousy'

After your fight with Kenny, you were avoiding him harder than the plague. Kenny didn't stop trying to talk to you but you would just brush him off. The minute he would enter a room you would stand up and leave. It was a bit awkward for the people around you but lucky it didn't happen often.

"Look Y/N maybe it's a good thing," Wendy said closing her locker and facing you as you leaned on the locker next to hers.

"I guess but I just can't get it all out of my head." You mutter taking a sip of your water.

"How about you go to Clyde's party tonight? It's gonna be small but maybe you can find someone to get your mind off of 'he who shall not be named.'" She said starting to walk away from the lockers.

"I guess got nothing better to do." You say following her.

As you and Wendy walked away Kenny who was in earshot but out of sight frowned to himself. He hated the thought of you with someone else it made his blood boil. He had to make sure it didn't happen. He walked to his group of friends in the lunch room and sat down interrupting the conversation they were in the middle of.

"Party at Clyde's tonight invite everyone you can." He said pulling out a small flask from his parka and taking a swig.

"Woah, really? I thought that was supposed to be a small thing?" Stan asked.

"Yeah half of us weren't even invited," Kyle said

"Well, I'm inviting you. So be there tonight and bring everyone you fucking can." He said with a frown putting his flask away.

"Is this about Y/N dude?" Stan asked.

"You really need to get over her dude," Cartman said leaning back.

"I didn't ask for a fucking therapy session be there and bring everyone." He barked back standing up from his seat and leaving the room in a huff.

Kyle frowned turning to Stan and Cartman. "Dude we can't just let him be like that forever."

"I mean what are we supposed to do? Dude wants to talk to her maybe if they do it'll stop." Stan says.

"Man who cares free booze, girls, and all we gotta do is show up. I could care less about Kenny's bitch." Cartman spat out.

Kyle frowned and looked down at his phone. He wanted to help Kenny out of this slump he was in. Everyone knew you didn't want to talk to Kenny so maybe this party was the best idea. If not he'd have to get involved to make sure Kenny can handle the situation without drinking himself to death.

Later that night you got ready slipping into a short simple black dress and a jacket. You looked at yourself in the mirror you felt like it may have been too much but maybe that was a good thing? You were going to the party to find someone to get over Kenny so maybe this was best.

You hear a honk outside and quickly sip on your shoes as you head out. You step outside seeing Wendy and Bebe in Wendy's car. Wendy was wearing a simple outfit while Bebe had on a similarly revealing outfit as you did. You slip into the back seat pulling your dress down a bit to cover yourself.

"God if I knew were dressing hot tonight I would have gone with something different," Wendy said with a frown as she drove towards Clyde's house.

"We really need to start a group chat," Bebe said with a sigh kicking her feet on the dashboard.

"Well, I'm on the hunt for a man tonight." You say with a laugh making the other girls laugh along with you as Wendy turns the block seeing a bunch of cars and people outside Clyde's house.

"Woah Bebe I thought you said this was a small party," Wendy said as she desperately tried to find parking.

"It was supposed to be. He only invited like 20 people. God, there's like people here from like different towns," Bebe said in shock looking around.

Wendy finds a spot close enough and you all get out. You look around seeing people drinking and smoking outside.

"You guys go in I'll catch up later," Wendy said after spotting Stan.

You nod and you and Bebe go inside. Clyde quickly walks up to you both he had a drink in his hand and a smile that made it clear he had a few drinks already.

"Babe what's up you said the party was gonna be small," Bebe said holding onto his arm.

"It was supposed to be but then all these people started showing up I don't know where they even heard about it, but they brought their own drinks so it's not too bad," Clyde said with a chuckle. "Let's go get you a drink babe."

"Yeah um I'll catch you later Y/N," Bebe said leaving before you could say anything.

You stood there for a few just trying to figure out what to do. You couldn't even recognize most of the people around you. You walk to the living room seeing a few people making out on the couch, people drinking, others dancing and playing games. You look around desperately trying to find someone you knew. You saw Butters awkwardly standing around with a drink in his hands and walk up to him quickly.

"Hey Butters," You say standing next to him.

"Hey Y/N. God, it is so crowded in here." He muttered taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah, I wonder where these people even heard about this." You say grabbing your own drink from the counter.

"Well I heard from Eric he said to invite as many people as I could." He explained.

"How the fuck did Cartman find out Clyde made sure not to tell him." You say with a laugh taking a sip of your drink.

The taste was horrible. You weren't much of a drinker it just never interested you.

"He said Kenny told them to invite everyone." Butters said making you choke on your drink.

"Kenny's here?" You say with a cough panicking a bit.

"Yeah I think he was in the back or upstairs I can't remember." Butters said looking away from you and focusing on a girl who was eyeing him from across the room.

"Go get laid, Butters." You say patting his shoulder. You finished your drink and then took a shot before you grabbed another full drink and walked away to another room.

A million thoughts were running through your head and none of them really seemed comprehendible. Kenny was here? Where was he? Did he do this to try to talk to you? You didn't know what to do and that may have been why you weren't paying attention and bumped into another person causing your drink to spill on you and the other person.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." You say backing away a bit. The man looks down at you and smirks.

"It's fine don't worry about it." He said getting a bit closer to you. "Where are you of to in such a rush?"

Kenny watched the interaction from upstairs just staring at you two as he sipped his drink. The man was tall but not as tall as him. Kenny just thought about how he could take him as he moved closer to you.

"Just found out my ex is here and I don't know I don't want to bump into him." You say to the man who seemed clearly interested in you.

Kenny couldn't hear what you were saying over the loud music and people talking. He just kept watching in silence just watching as this man was moving closer and closer. He was gripping his beer can so tightly that it started to crumble.

"Could it possibly be the dude who is glaring at me from upstairs?" The man asked with a chuckle.

You looked upstairs and sure enough, you saw Kenny leaning against the rail watching the two of you as he dropped his empty beer can on the floor and opened a new one. He sipped his drink looking at you in the eyes and even from far away you could see the unhappy expression on his face as he drank. You turned back to the man and groaned.

"Yeah, that's Kenny." You mutter crossing your arms.

"You could definitely do better. How about we have fun with this." The man said snaking his arm around your waist. You thought for a second and nodded. Maybe it was the fact that you were a lightweight and had enough alcohol to make some questionable choices, but it didn't sound like a bad idea in that moment.

"Why not?" You said with a laugh that made Kenny take a deep breath to stop himself from going down there and killing the man that dared put their hands on his girl.

The man moved you into a small open space in clear view for Kenny. He holds onto your hips going behind you so you were facing Kenny. He smirked as you started swaying your hips grinding against him. He took one of his hands off your hip and moved it onto your stomach slowly moving it upward.

Keny felt his blood boil it was like he would explode right then and there. He takes a big swig of his beer and throws it on the floor before jumping over the rail rather than taking the stairs that had people blocking them. He didn't want to waste time seeing that man getting closer to touching your breast made him crazy. He landed on the floor feet first only having to bend his knees so he didn't hurt himself.

He rushed up and grabbed you pulling you away from the man. People stared as Kenny pulled you by the wrist away. He turned back to the man who had a smug smile.

"Stay away from her," Kenny growled.

"I mean it looks like she was having fun. Maybe I can give her something you weren't Kenny~" He said with a smirk and looking over his shoulder seeing you just standing there in shock.

Kenny lets go of your wrist and swiftly punches the man in the face making him stumble back and his nose gush with blood. A few people rush to the man's side to make sure he was ok. Kenny turned back to you and grabbed you throwing you over his shoulder and making his way upstairs.

People immediately moved out of his way making it easy for him to go upstairs. He stops when he's on top of the stairs and turns to face the quiet crowd.

"If any other fucking dumbass even so much as fucking looks at my girl I'll make sure you end up worst than him," Kenny stated loudly before walking into an empty room.

You were protesting the entire time but your angry words went unheard. Kenny finally placed you down once he finally had the door closed.

"You fucking asshole!" You yelled at him as he stared down at you without saying a word. "I'm not your girl you fucking cheating whore!"

You punch his chest with your fist which didn't faze him in the slightest. You just continued screaming and spouting out whatever you could think of in your angry state. Once you had calmed down enough to stop your screaming and your punches became softer.

"Your mine Y/N and I don't fucking appreciate you grinding on another man in the dress that I fucking bought you." He said putting his arm around your waist and pulling you into him as he tugged your dress down to cover you more.

It was clear he was angry and annoyed but his face wouldn't let him show it. You put on an angry expression and tried pulling away from him.

"You don't like the idea of the person you love being with someone else?" You said sarcastically.

He growled and pulled you tighter. "For the last fucking time I didn't cheat on you! Why the fuck do you trust some whore?"

"Which one? The one in your phone or the one in front of me." You spat out pushing him away finally escaping his grasp you take a step back and slap him.

He seemed shocked and touched his cheek but laughed it off. Only making you more angry its like he didn't take it seriously. "Only one? Come on show me how fucking angry you are!"

You growled and tried pushing him out of the way of the door. He grabbed our chin and made you look up at him and crashed his lips against yours. You were both clearly drunk and it was making you both angry and needy. For a second you completely forget how mad you were and kiss back roughly pulling him into you.

He roughly grabs your ass and puts one of your legs on his waist as he leaned into you. You hastily take off your jacket throwing it on the floor and Kenny lifts you off from the floor completely moving towards the bed in the room. You wanted nothing more than him at this moment. You felt like an animal just acting on instinct.

Kenny was no different he had just gone from arguing with you to throwing you on a random person's bed and taking his shirt off. It was dysfunctional, toxic, disgusting but you both wanted more. You stared up at Kenny breathing heavily from the kiss that lasted longer than you had breath for. Your eyes were practically begging for him to fuck you but before he could act on it you both heard yelling from downstairs.

Suddenly Kyle burst into the room not taking time to understand the scene in front of him. He was panicked and was speaking loud and fast.

"Cops dude we have to get the fuck out of here!" Kyle shouted.

Your eyes widened but before you could do anything Kenny picks you up and opens a window quickly jumping out of it with you in his arms. Kyle followed just in time as cops ran into the room. Kenny ran around and looped back to the front lawn and looked around spotting Wendy starting her car with Bebe and Butters in her car as well as Stan opening the back of his van letting random people pile in with Eric in the driver's seat.

Two cops started running towards you and without thinking Kenny ran to Wendy's car and threw you inside, but not getting in himself. Kyle ran to Stan's van just in time as they sped off with not less than 12 people in the back of it. The cops got closer and you looked at Kenny taking his hand to pull him in, but he couldn't. Wendy pressed on the gas and sped off as the cops handcuffed Kenny.

"Make sure she gets home safe!"

A/N: Hey guys. I hope you liked this as much I liked writing it. I just want to say that I don't want it to seem that I am glorifying domestic abuse or toxic relationships. I swear I'm not and i don't mean to. If you're in that situation please seek help and I hope you recover and do well. Other than that there is a song that I was listening to on repeat as I was writing this and I feel like it kinda fits. So if you want to read this while listening to it press the link to it and bc ik not all of us use Spotify here is another link for youtube. With that being said hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you so much I love you all! 🩷🩷🩷

#south park x reader #south park #fanfic #x reader #south park x you #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #kenny mcormick x reader #south park kenny

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 2 years

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Can I request Kenny x reader where she’s the biggest brat but she’s still a virgin so her punishments are different?

I love Kenny 💕

Tag: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @damnnhausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @baysexuality , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @sldghmmr , @whenimakeitshine1234

“My sweet, sweet, lolly. You never learn, do you?” The tip of the riding crop clashed against your hard nipples.

“No. You had to push that bitchy little brat out and now look at you” Kenny chuckled as the leather stung on your soft skin and your knees screamed in pain from being knelt on rice

A small whine leave your lips. “I’m sorry, daddy”.

“Oh, she’s sorry!” He gasped in fake shock before wiping off his imaginary tears “Stop, lolly. You’re gonna make me cry”

Kenny hit the riding crop below your navel, inches away from your mound

Your thighs pressed together before his hand gripped your jaw so you could look into his baby blue eyes.

“What are you sorry for, you little bitch?! You’re sorry for walking around backstage in your skimpy skirt with no panties, for bending down in front of Matt and Nick and showing them just how much of a needy slut you are or for humping our locker room couch while facing the door to make sure we saw you as soon as we got in?”.

Kenny’s finger turned on the red magic wand and he placed the toy at full speed against your swollen pearl.

“I’m sorry, daddy. Please” You screamed in pure agony, the vibrations were stimulating as well as painful in this moment.

“You’re so lucky I haven’t fucked that tight little pussy yet” Kenny snarled in your face

“Because if I did, I would have no problem with making you take three cocks, one in each hole at the same fucking time!”

Your mouth opened in a silent scream as the vibrations made goosebumps of overstimulation cover your skin.

“I would make sure that every inch of your skin was covered with cum. Make every tight little hole drip with warm, white, thick seed”

“Daddy…FUUUCCKKKKK!”

“Language!” Kenny pulled the magic wand away from your clit before he landed a sharp slap on your slick pearl.

“You see, I may not be able to fuck your pussy until you’re sore, but daddy has already claimed other parts of you, hasn’t he?” The wide grin on Kenny’s face was sadistic and cold.

He let one lubed finger slide between your ass cheeks until he stopped at your puckered hole

The tip of his finger circled the rim and he smirked “Daddy will teach you a lesson, lolly. A lesson you’ll never forget!” Kenny’s tongue darted out and he licked a long, warm stripe on your cheek “I’ll fuck this smart mouth and your tight litte ass until you’re begging me to finally let you cum. And after you’re worn out, maybe I’ll call Matt and Nick so they can come over and use what’s left of you as they please”.

#kenny omega smut #kenny omega fanfiction #kenny omega x reader #kenny omega imagine #kenny omega #masochist writes #masochist headcanons

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spookymultimedia · 4 months

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Homesickness

After dropping out of college Cartman visits home after years of being away from it

I remember the morning I left for California. I was fresh out of highschool and had packed up all my things. I didn't tell anybody I was leaving, not even my Mom. The night before I left I had argued with her over something stupid. I called her a bitch and slammed my bedroom door. When I knew she was asleep I took my bags, stuffed them into my cheap minivan and hit the road. By 3 am I was out of Colorado. People called me, but it's dangerous to drive while on the phone, so naturally I ignored them all day long. I didn't call back either. They didn't matter. To my surprise Kyle had called me the most, but I didn't notice that for years. The last time I had seen him he had smacked me in the face and called me a fag after I tried to kiss him at a graduation party. I blocked his number. I left everything behind and didn't look back. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I had just stayed a little longer. I've lost so many years to LA. I wonder what Kyle had to say to me.

Los Angeles was massive. I was a small fish in a huge pond that had come to learn that the world didn't revolve around me. I came into the city with high ambitions. The plan was to get my business degree, get into the marketing industry and get rich and famous with my genius ideas. LA was nothing like home. It was nothing but hot pavement and smoke filled skies. The place smelled like piss. The classes were intense and full of rich students who came from parents who were agents or producers. Friendships didn't exist, only networking. No one spoke to you unless they wanted something from you. The weather was hot, it was like hell on earth.

The first year was lonely and frustrating. It felt like no one respected me. It turns out people didn't owe me anything. I had this rude awakening that I wasn't special, I was just like any other asshole trying to make it big. My confidence ran thin and nothing seemed to matter anymore. Business in LA was no place for a boy from a little mountain town in Colorado. I tried to persevere for one more year but my second Christmas there broke me.

There I was in my tiny little dorm room with the air conditioner on, eating a cold ham sandwich. Everyone else had family to visit while I had no one. I was watching TV when a Christmas commercial came on. There were four little boys building a snowman together and running inside to drink hot chocolate. The commercial was about Duracell batteries, somehow. The commercial reminded me of home. I lost all composure and started crying. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to see the big white mountains in the sky again. I wanted to feel the cold again. I wanted to see the stars over the trees again. I wished I hadn't left at all. I needed to go home. So I called Kenny's house phone. I was lucky he picked up. I explained everything to him and headed home.

Kenny picked me up from the Airport and drove me back into town. A sense of nostalgia washed over me, the town looked just the same as I had left it. There was a new building or house here and there but it was just as I remembered it.

“Do you think my Mom will be happy to see me?”

Kenny blinked at me and cocked his head.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Did- don't you remember?”

“Remember what? What happened?? Take me to my house!”

“But- Eric. It's-.”

“What?”

Suddenly I spotted the street my house was on.

“ Pull over!” I pulled out my old house key and rushed out towards home.

Kenny pulled over and tried to run after me without slipping on the ice. Oh gosh the cold air felt heavenly. The mountains were right where I left them. It was so good to be back home. I unlocked the door and-

“Mom!!” I cried out

The house was empty.

“Mom?” I called out with less enthusiasm. I hadn't seen this place empty since I was a baby. It looked like how we found it when I was only 3 years old and my Mom had just moved in. The walls were empty, there was an imprint of where the couch should be, and where that big fat TV was, and-

“Oh Cartman! It's so nice you could visit! How was California?” Rang out a familiar voice. I turned to see Kyle's Mom.

“Did. . .did she move away?”

Her smile dropped, “Oh Eric hunny, didn't you get the- oh you don't know! We tried to call you.”

“About what?” I walked outside to talk to her. Kenny stood behind me with a sad look on his face.

She stepped forward and grabbed my hands.

“Eric, sweetie, your Mom died two weeks ago.”

I stared blankly at her as my stomach dropped. At first I didn't react. I repeated the words in my head to try and understand them but they still left me confused.

“She was missing for a couple of days, and when we tried to call her or knock on the door she wouldn't answer. The police picked the lock to her house and let me check on her.” Tears flooded her eyes.

“What happened?” I mumbled, bewildered.

“I don't know, I found her in bed and she was dead. I didn't see any drugs or anything that could have killed her. It's like she just died in her sleep.”

“Oh.” Was all that could come out of me. I felt completely numb at that moment. All the sunshine in me was gone. I came back here to be happy but everything I was coming back to wasn't there.

“Are you alri-”

“Oh well look who came back in town!” A voice squawked out from behind me. I turned around and regretted it. It was none other than Mr.Garrison. I couldn't believe he was still breathing. I wish he wasn't.

“Hello Mr.Garrison.” I mumbled

“How was California? Huh?”

“I dropped out.”

“Oh so you quit!?” He chuckled harshly. He leaned against his cane and cackled like a fucking hyena. I glared at him.

“Yes I quit ok!! I'm a fucking good for nothing quitter! Are you happy!!!”

“ I told you, you weren't cut out for California!! You really thought you were somethin’ huh? You just thought you could just pack up your things, go to Cali-fucking-fornia like all the other dumbass liberals and make your dreams come true!? Well guess what! The world doesn't revolve around you bigshot!!”

He stabbed his finger at my chest. I winced and growled.

“You ain't shit Eric Cartman. And you'll never amount to anythin. I was like you once you know, a hot shot. Serves me right for thinkin mountain town hicks like us can get famous. You're best bet at gettin on television is becoming a fat-ass r*tard*d

hoarder for everyone to point and laugh at.”

I shoved him to the ground and punched him.

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!” I screamed and hit at him hoping I'd knock his brains out.

I attempted to choke him out but Kenny ripped me away from him. He grinned at me as blood fell down his nose while Ms.Broflovski helped him up.

“Hit a nerve there didn't I?” He taunted and chuckled. I ran inside and ran back into the empty house. I took a moment to breathe before I sat down and stared around at the room quietly, trying to remember how the place had looked. I thought about the buzz of the TV and the cheap ass cakes I ate every day. I glanced at the kitchen. In my mind I remembered the smell of freshly baked cookies and bacon. It was weird, all my good memories about my Mom were about food. I would watch her cook so I could remember to do it on my own when she was too drunk to cook food for me. Well, when I put it that way it sounded sad, but the food was good. Was that it? Just food and treats. Was there anything else to our relationship? Everything else I felt about her was resentful.

I looked upstairs and walked up. I went into her room and looked around. Nothing out of the ordinary. No suicide note. No drugs. No alcohol. Not a single thing that could have caused her to die. I hated the answer. It was just unsatisfying. She just died for no fucking reason. How lame is that!?? I glanced at the closet where I knew the sex toys were. I left the room before my brain could linger on the upsetting memories I had buried away. It was better not to think about it.

I walked to my room, it was empty. Those assholes gave away my childhood toys!! My Clyde frog! My mega men. My sock puppet. It was gone and all that was left was this empty shell of a room. I looked at my door, playing back the night I left. I remembered the last thing I said to her.

“Eric, are you sure you want to leave for college?? You could wait a little while, you're still young.”

“Stop trying to guilt me into staying at home with you!!”

“Don't raise your voice at me!”

“Then stop treating me like a fuckin baby!! You're so afraid of being by yourself it's fucking pathetic!!”

“Eric- please-”

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BITCH!! I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT!!” I slammed the door in her face and ignored her crying.

I'll never get to talk to her again.

She's dead and the last thing I did was call her a bitch and slammed a door at her face. God I'm an asshole.

I walked back to the living room in a tired daze,Kenny looked at me with those big hazel eyes of his. I fell to my knees and couldn't handle it all anymore. I curled up on the floor and choked out into tears. I sounded pathetic. I felt like I was a 10 year old kid crying and kicking on the floor because he didn't get what he wanted. I was 10 years old again, throwing a fit. I wanted to go back. I didn't do my childhood right. I want it back!! I want my Clyde frog!! I want my Terrance and Philip!! I want Chef!!! I want my Cheezy Poofs and my Snacky Cakes!!! I want my Swiss Colony Beef log and Christmases with presents and snow and food. I WANT MY MOM!! I fucking hated her but at the same time I wanted more than anything was crawl into her lap and cry until she hugged me and fixed everything.

But she didn't come back. She would never come back. I took it all for granted and now I was stuck here to face being an adult. I felt Kenny pull me into his arms and squeeze me tight. I hid my face in his shoulder and cried for an hour. I couldn't tell if I was grieving or tired. I felt like a tired little baby in need of a nap. So that's what I did. I fell asleep in Kenny's arms and dreamed about her. In my dreams she was making chocolate buttered waffles and everything was okay. I didn't want to wake up. But I would have to eventually.

#south park #south park fanfiction #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #sheila broflovski #mr garrison #liane cartman #r slur

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yoke9494 · 9 months

Text

The bad pick-up line. That actually worked? (Draken)

*Disney timeline. (Everyone's alive and well)

*Emma is happily taken by some mystery guy!

*Y/n isn't the brightest crayon in the box. ❤️

*cute embarrassing crack... 🤪

---------------------------------------

Draken shook his head. "I want her to date me. Not run the other way."

Kazutora shrugged. "I'd date you if you said that to me? My panties would drop so fast! I wouldn't care who was watching.."

Baji nodded. "Y/n isn't as uptight as she looks. She laughs at fart jokes for crying out loud."

Emma sighed. "You're all setting him up to fail-- oh! There she goes! Y/N!!"

Draken froze-- the same way Hakkai does when he's around any female besides his own sister..

You waved "hello" to them but Emma was waving you over. You said something to Angry and Sanzu before happily walking their way.

Oh you were in a good mood today. Draken could tell by your smile... Now he didn't want to say it, what if he ruined your day?! He'll just go home and ask the girls how to do this type of thing---

Too late..

As soon as you were in front of them both Baji and Kazutora pushed Draken into you.

You nearly hit the ground but Draken was quick. He caught you by your waist, real K-Drama like.. He kept his cool, or so he thought. His ears were a bright red.

"Oh shit. Thanks Draken!" You wiggled out of his grasp. "I almost ate ass there."

He didn't care if you had a mouth on you... He loves you.. but how does he say it?

Emma snorted. "Hey Y/n? Help me out with these losers here?"

You shrugged. "Alright? What's wrong?"

Baji smirked. "Well it's more like you need to help Draken."

You looked up at the big blonde. "What do you need help with? Is Mikey throwing another fit? I just unwrapped his snack like 5 minutes ago.."

He shook his head but before he could say anything Kazutora butt in this time.

"Draken has a crush on someone! He wants to know if his pick up line is smooth enough."

You raised a brow. Draken was getting soft on someone? Who was the bitch-- er.. You mean. Who was the lucky girl? "Uh, okay? Let me hear it?"

He mumbled something under his breath...

You scrunched up your nose. He LOVES! when you do that, like an angry possum.. "Why are you getting all shy now? Speak up Kenny, I can't hear you."

Draken sighed-- his heart was ready to run out of his ass. "I SAID!--- Do you want to play Barbie? I'll be Ken and you can be the box I CUM in."

Emma let out the loudest snort! She ran the other way to tell Mikey that Draken actually said it!!

Baji and Kazutora were trying to support their boy. Cheeks puffed out and red from holding in their laugh..

Your mouth hung open for a second.... "Oh my..."

This lucky bitch, once you find out who she is... You'd have Hanma help you knock her out with a baseball bat..

Draken winced and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's bad huh! Sorry-- forget I ever said it!"

You shook your head. "Are you kidding?! I think I just got a little wet spot on my panties right now!"

You what?....

Draken pretended not to hear that. Instead he gave you his usual deadpanned look. "Really...You actually liked that?"

You nodded. "If you weren't hung up on whoever..." You rolled your eyes. "My panties would have hit the floor so fast-- I'd be violating you in front of Baji and Tora right now.."

Kazutora hit Drakens arm. "See."

Baji nodded twords the back. "Okay Draken. You got your answer. Take her to the bathrooms over there. Don't forget to pull out too, I don't think Mikey's ready for a younger sibling." He nudged you. "You're on birth control right?"

Your eyes widened. "Huh?!"

You looked at Draken who had his eyes closed. Head down in shame, cheeks red from embarrassment...

"Oh.... Oh! Ew! You like me?!"

Draken's eyes shot open. "What the fucks that supposed to mean?! Why did you say ew?!"

Why were you both yelling?

You shrugged. "I don't know! But I like you too!"

"Okay then! Date?"

You nodded. "Okay! Text it to me later!"

He watched you turn around and walk away-- you poor flustered dumbass... You almost tripped over your own feet..

Baji chuckled and shook his head. "Well, that went better than I expected. I didn't think she'd catch on so fast.."

Kazutora sighed, he and Baji began to walk away. Leaving Draken to internally freak out about planning a date. You weren't too girly-- Movie? The arcade? Do you like flowers?--- shit! What was your favorite flower?!

(Tora) "Damn, I was hoping that one wouldn't work. I still have the one about a hot dog stand.."

(Baji) "lay it on me? If it's good I'll use it on Chifuyu. I like to make him red."

(Tora) "Damn girl, you should sell hot dogs, because you definitely know how to make a weiner stand."

(Baji) "HA!"

#tokyo revengers #draken #x reader #attempt at humor #ken ryuguji

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crazyk-imagine · 1 year

Text

Kick Ass not Kiss my Ass!

Pairing: Walt Finnegan x Fem!reader

Characters: Kenny Roper, Walt Finnegan, Dale Douglas, Jake Bradford, Fem!reader, Glen McReynolds, Jay Niles, Alex Brumley, Tyrone Plummer, Billy Autrey, Willoughby

Warnings: SMUT (DNI 18+), pussy eating, blowjob, cowgirl position, reader giving off dom vibes, Finn giving off sub vibes, straight up smutty things, Reader deals with bitches (doesn’t go into too much detail), Finnegan has a crush but doesn’t realize it, Terrifying trio (Roper, Glen, and Finnegan), Reader showing off her bartending skills (even though she’s not a bartender), Roper and Finnegan are little shits, Reader might be a bit of a moody bitch, all she needed was a little bit of (Finnegan) love, Finnegan jokes about their kid and Roper murdering him if he ever found out, Roper and reader call each other names (but it’s all good), everyone knew they we’re gonna get together

Word Count: 4,872

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You grab the last box with a mental reminder to kick your cousins’ ass next time you see the overly cocky boy (because he is no man).

You slam the trunk closed and start heading towards the house... until he comes back.

“How many times have I told you to watch out, dumbass! Before I kick your ass!” You kick his front bumper, glaring at him.

“You mean today,” her cousin smiles at her.

“Shut up, Roper.”

“Someone write that down,” he says over his shoulder.

“That’s number four, so far,” Finnegan (the annoying one from the phone) adds. She clenches her jaw.

“Just watch yourself, alright?”

“You got it.”

You roll your eyes and head inside.

“You sure you can carry that all by yourself!” Roper shouts, leaning against the car, letting Jake and Dale out while Plum gets out from behind Finnegan’s seat.

“I’ve been caring your career on my back ever since we were five! I’d say I’m doing just fine now!”

“That’s cold! And not true!”

“Suck a dick, Roper!”

“Hey,” Glen greets you with a smile.

“Glen.” You pass him, entering the kitchen.

“Oh, don’t give me that attitude now. I thought that was only reserved for Roper.”

“It’s reserved for all assholes.”

“What did I do to earn that pleasant title?”

“Nothing. I’m just bored, don’t you know?”

“Are people talking again?” He asks, his tone becoming serious.

“No,” you shake your head, “and even if people have been, I wouldn’t be telling you.”

“Telling who what?” Finnegan enters the kitchen, standing on the other side of the counter.

“Nothing.” You narrow your eyes at Glen.

“I think that crazy bitch is talking about her again.”

“Oh, Jesus- shut up. Nothing’s going on.”

“We’ll happily send one of the freshmen in-”

“Finnegan-”

“Come on, you know we’d do anything to keep you around.” He adds with a serious smile (one you’ve never seen directed at any of his ladies of the night).

“You’re just hoping to get laid.”

The blond says nothing for a few seconds. “Ah- not necessarily-”

“I’ve brought food and beer. I’m out.”

“Woah! Hey, where you going?” Roper asks, rushing down the stairs.

“I have a few things I need to take care of.”

“Like?” asks your cousin with Glen and Finnegan by his side.

“I’m leaving now.”

Roper sighs, “will we see you later?”

You shake your head, “no.” You turn around, one of the freshman stops in front of you.

He doesn’t know where to move.

You place your hands on his shoulders, turning him around before shoving him into the three.

“You sure you can’t come?” Roper asks again.

“No.” You slam the car door shut and back out.

“She’s so coming,” Finnegan says over his shoulder for the others to hear.

“You’re just hoping to bang my cousin.”

“That’s your cousin?” Jake asks.

“Oh, yeah,” Finnegan confirms. “She’s also off limits.”

Glen nudges Roper, who shakes his head and walks away not wanting to hear about how much Finnegan wants to bang his cousin.

“I didn’t ask,” Jake defends himself.

“And now you don’t have to.”

“Hello,” you answer with little attitude.

“How’s it going?”

“Finnegan?”

“Who else would consider themselves lucky to be in your presence?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“No one because I’m special and I happen to know when I am talking to a beautiful and smart lady such as yourself.”

You chuckle through your nose, “you got the special part right. But, wow, you’re really laying the charm on thick today, aren’t you?”

“For you, I always go above and beyond.”

“Who’s he talking to?” asks Jake.

“Who do you think?” Dale replies.

“And he says he’s not into her.”

Dale nods with a smirk, “you’ve been here less than a day and already know more about his pathetic love life than Finn himself.”

Jake chuckles. “You know what I’m thinking?”

“I sure as hell hope so.”

They start making sex noises.

Finnegan whirls his head around, mustache twitching; his jaw clenched. He aggressively waves for them to leave.

They don’t.

He tilts his head, securing the phone there while he picks up the base and closes the door.

The two can see a smile on his face right before the door slams shut in front of them.

Jake and Dale look back at one another and shake their heads.

“You still breathin’?”

You bring the phone back up to your ear, letting out a puff of air. “I don’t know if I am.”

“You’re sounding pretty good from my end.”

“Must you always suck up to me.”

“Yes, you should know this by now.”

“Who was it?”

“A freshman and Dale.”

“Ah.”

“What?”

“Dale always manages to get a freshman to do some type of shenanigan with him. This isn’t any different.”

“You’re so mean.”

“That’s what I’m known for.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“Doing this sad bit. It’s not a good look on you.”

“Well, gee, thanks.”

“Hey, hey. I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it. None of us like seeing you sad. I don’t like seeing you sad.”

You gulp, glancing over at the clock. “I gotta go, Finnegan.”

“No, look hey-”

“I’ll see you guys in a few, okay?”

“You sure? You’re not just lying to me to stop our conversation, are you?”

“No, dumbass. I’ll be there before some dick hungry chick can steal you away.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“Later, Finn.”

“Bye.” He hangs up, setting the phone base on the floor as he sinks down onto his bed. The smile never leaving his face, “she called me Finn.”

“Are you done with the phone?” Billy asks, knocking on his door.

“Take it and go, Beuter.”

“My name is Billy!”

“Okay, how long till the girls start coming around?” You ask, leaning against the wall.

“You’re late,” Roper says.

“I’m still here and I already knew what coach was gonna tell you boys so why do I need a repeat?”

“Alright, you two,” Glen pats Roper’s shoulder. “That’s enough. We have ten minutes before the girls are fashionably late.”

“Wow, you move fast.”

“Not when it counts though,” he winks at you.

You groan in disgust, “I’m leaving you two to fend for yourselves. No wingwoman for you two.”

They let out a string of complaints as you walk away.

You enter the kitchen, seeing Finnegan chatting with a few of the girls who showed up on time. You start making yourself a drink.

“You mind making me a cousin special?”

You smile, seeing Dale holding his cup out for you. “Only you can handle it, Dale.”

“We both know that’s not true but, I can’t stop drinking it.”

You two chuckle.

Finnegan glances over at the two of you and frowns.

The girls start asking questions, distracting him for a few seconds but not enough to get his mind off of you.

“Oh, she’s making the famous cousin drink.” Glen nods in your direction.

“The what?” asks Jake.

“You’ve got to try this man.” Roper hooks his arm around Jake’s neck, bringing him to the kitchen with a few other team members following. “Three more.”

“That’ll cost you,” you tell him.

“Oh, come on.”

“Do freshman get a free drink if it’s their first time trying it?”

You turn to Jake and smile before curling your index finger and thumb, whistling loudly. “Alright, party people. It’s time to gather the freshies so they can try the-”

“COUSIN!”

“It seems you’re all familiar with my concoction. Now, where are my freshman at?”

All the freshman and one of the two newbies stand before you. “You think you boys can handle this?”

“Hell yeah,” Plum says.

“Okay.” You finish making the drinks. “And... enjoy.”

Plum runs out of the kitchen and into the front yard, throwing up.

“That’s one.”

“I prefer screwdrivers.”

“Yeah, well, you’re getting out of your comfort zone right now, Niles.”

“Raw dog.”

“Drink this and shut up.”

Jay drinks it and seems like he’s doing okay.

“Dare I say we have- nope, nevermind.”

Jay’s out in the front yard with Plum.

“Jake, you good man?” Roper glances over at you, you shrug.

Jake chucks his cup onto the floor.

“Yeah!” The whole house cheers him on.

No one has been able to drink your infamous drink and not thrown up the first time except for Glen.

Blumley takes a sip and is out in the front yard with the other two.

“That went better than I expected,” Dale comments.

You nod. “Alright, you boys have fun.”

“Why does it sound like you’re leaving?”

“I’m not, I just need some air.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. Have fun, Dale.” You pass Finnegan and his rodies, he follows completely ignoring them.

You stand in the open doorway of the front door.

“You okay?”

“Shouldn’t you be talking with your rodies?”

“I’m not a musician.”

“Same thing.”

“Did something happen today? You’ve been a little off.”

“I’ll be alright. So... no luck with the clearly easy ladies of the evening?”

He chuckles, staring at his shoes. “Not when I know a pretty girl like you is out here, near the barfers.”

“My hero.”

“I try, I try... I wasn’t lying when I said you look pretty tonight.”

“You say that to everyone.”

“Only those who deserve it.”

“So, everyone?”

“I think you need to get your eyes and ears checked; I only say that to you.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Come on, I want to show you something.”

“Like what?”

He holds his hand out for you to take, a smile stretching across his lips.

“You better not be trying to persuade me into your bed.”

“I would never.”

“Liar.” You grab his hand, letting him lead you up the stairs and through the window that leads to the roof. “Finally, I get to see roofball in action.”

“Roofball?”

“It sounds better than hitting shit off the roof.”

“But it doesn’t sound as fun.”

“And yet, it captured your attention.”

“Damn, you got me.” He grabs a golf club, handing it to you. “My lady?”

“How charming. What’s the goal?”

“Try and beat me.”

“The stakes?”

“You win, I do the team’s laundry for a week. I win, I want a repeat of that night.”

Your shoulders sag thinking about the night when you and he were tipsy and almost slept together during his, Glen, Roper, and Dale’s first year here. “Finnegan-”

“Now, now. I promise you’ll enjoy the night either way.”

You sigh, “fine.”

“Looks like-”

“It’s a tie,” you cut him off.

“What? No, I clearly won.”

“Whatever.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.”

“I’m not being like anything.”

“No, no. Sure, you’re all good.”

“You are such a jerk,” you laugh, staring at him with a wide smile.

“We both know you don’t think that.”

“Well, then what do I think?”

He takes a step closer, standing in front of you; he leans in, switching from one eye to the other. “I think you really want me to give you the Finnegasm special.”

You suck in your lips to keep yourself from laughing.

He can see it, that’s partly why he said it. “You can laugh. It’s okay.”

You burst out laughing, lowering your head on his shoulder with your hand covering your mouth. “Thank... you,” you say between breathes. After a while, you finally calmed down.

“I didn’t realize it was that funny.”

“You’re always funny, Finn.”

You lift your head and lose your breath.

Neither of you say anything.

“I’m just- I'm gonna go inside now,” you point towards the window.

“Oh no, you are not,” he shakes his head.

“And why not?” You challenge him.

“I won fair and square which means you are to abide by the stakes we made prior to starting a game of roofball.”

“I don’t believe I agreed to those terms.”

“Oh, you did,” he takes a step forward, you step back, “when you took your first swing, you knew what you were in for.”

You shake your head, “I don’t think that’s right.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I’m afraid I don’t believe you.”

The corner of his mouth twitches, “is that right?”

“Yeah,” you nod, unable to look away from him.

“If I kiss you, are you gonna run out of the house?”

“No, no. I’m gonna run into the house with you hot on my tail.”

“Oh.”

“You willing to take that risk?”

“Oh, baby, I am willing to do a lot more than that.”

“Really? If that’s the case, why am I pushed against the wall of this house and not in front of the window.”

“I don’t know where the other guys are at, and I don’t want to get my ass kicked for being the one to spend the night with you.”

“So, everyone likes me?”

“Almost everyone, I’m the only one who likes your attitude.”

“Interesting.”

“Exactly, now.” He steps back, holding his arm out towards the window, “after you, my lady.”

“Charming. Have fun checking out my ass.”

“Oh, I will.”

You push him against the wall at the bottom of the stairs, hiding your face in the crook of his neck when Billy and his friends pass by.

“They’re gone.”

“Hurry up and open the door.”

“So bossy.”

You shove him inside, locking the door behind you. “Why can you never shut your mouth?” You ask, watching as he makes himself comfortable on the bed. “If you think I’m doing all the work here you’re wrong.”

He only offers a smirk and a pat on the bed as an answer.

You roll your eyes, kicking off your heels.

“You wore heels on the roof? How did you not fall off?”

“Who’s to say I haven’t had to run across a roof in heels before?”

“Have you?”

“I think the answers obvious.” You sit down beside him, sitting up with your back against the bed frame.

“Why are you way up there?” He whines.

You roll your eyes, “shut up.”

He scoots closer to you, resting his head on your chest listening to the way your heartbeat speeds up and smiles.

“Are you happy now?” You start scratching his head.

“Maybe.”

“You’re annoying.”

“No,” Finnigan shakes his head. “You’re annoying.”

You let out a fake gasp and shove him off you. “How dare you.”

“How dare I? I’m the one on the floor.”

“Where you belong.”

“That’s mean.”

“Would it be mean if I said, I wonder what you looked like on your knees... in front of me?”

His head drops on the bed, the groan coming from him gives you an answer.

You lay back on the pillows and laugh.

Your eyes snap open when your body is yanked down towards the edge. Your hands wrap around his arms that keep him hovering over you.

“You said something about me on my knees? You dare to make that dream come true?”

“I don’t have to dare if I know you’ll do it.”

He shakes his head. “For someone with so much attitude, you’re awfully confident.”

“That’s because I know you’ll do anything to please me.” You know. You know.

“And here I thought I was being subtle.”

“Subtlety has never been your thing.”

He grins, leaning down kissing along the side of your neck, making sure there’s going to be a hickies for everyone to see. “It could be our thing.”

“You can barely keep your “average” sized dick in your pants enough as it is.”

His head pops up from your collarbone, “so you’ve heard the stories? Impressed?”

You push him away to pull off your jeans. “If you can use it right, I’ll be impressed.”

“Oh, honey. Everyone’s gonna know what we did in here.” He slowly removes your lace underwear.

You let out an unimpressed hum.

“Prepare to be eaten.”

You furrow your brows, “isn’t the phrase, prepare to eat your wor-” Your hands wind up clutching his hair, being careful not to tug on it (too hard). Few noises escape you, making Finnegan determined to make you louder than the music bouncing off the walls.

He keeps one hand on your thigh as his other hand snakes down to your warm slit. He eases one finger in but, it’s not enough.

You whine, thrusting your hips up.

He pulls of your buzzing bundle with a pop, watching as you can’t keep your mouth shut while his thumb circles around your clit and his fingers stretch you, preparing you for him.

He leans over you, smiling at you, “does that feel good, beautiful?”

You nod, babbling out, “yes! Yes! Feels so good!”

“Open your eyes.”

You furrow your brows, unsure if you can do that as you clench around his fingers.

“Open them.”

You don’t.

He sighs, easing up on his pace.

Your eyes snap open, “no.”

“Keep those pretty eyes open for me and you won’t be disappointed.”

“I could,” you take a deep breath. “I could find- any other,” you moan. “Other guy here who- who would help me out.”

He leans down, whispering, “you could but no one can give you the Finnegasm special.” After he says that, he speeds up the pace.

You arch your back, hips thrusting into and against his hand. Your mouth falls open, high pitched moans escape you; one hand clenched in the sheets of his bed and your other hand fists his stupid short sleeve button up.

His mustache tickles your upper lip as he kisses you, swallowing your noises as he tries to quiet you down (not wanting anyone to come in and ruin your guys’ fun). He helps you through your high, your legs shake unable to stay in the position you’re in.

He carefully detaches himself from you, giving you moment to breath. He starts to toe off his shoes, checking on you only to see your covered chest heaving and your gaze still on the ceiling.

He chuckles, “you doing alright?”

“Oh,” you push yourself up, leaning on your elbows. “I’m just peachy.”

He chuckles, “careful there. I might get too cocky.”

Your gaze travels down to the front of his pants, “if what you say is true. I think we’ll be fine.”

“Hey, hey.”

You push yourself off the bed with a smile, “remember, you said you liked my attitude.”

“When it was directed at other people and not at me.”

You unbutton his shirt, not looking up at him. “That sounds more like a you problem.”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“I’m only extra mean to those I like.” You stare at him through your lashes, shoving his shirt off his shoulders.

He chucks his shoulder off to the side, “so, you’re saying I’m extra special.”

You pull him closer by his belt loops, “I don’t go on a roof in heels for just anyone.”

He smiles and cups your cheek, leaning to kiss you.

You try not to giggle but fail, he pulls back.

“Why are you laughing?”

You shake your head, not saying anything.

“No, seriously. What is it? Is this weird?”

“Definitely not weird, it’s just- your upper lip hair is a little ticklish?”

He nods, “guess I’m gonna have to get used to you laughing.”

“What?”

He takes a step forward, forcing you to take a step back.

The back of your legs hit the edge of the bed.

He’s quick to remove your shirt.

“You’re gonna give me whiplash, I swear.”

“Then I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry, beautiful.”

You roll your eyes and crawl into the center of the bed.

He makes his way over you, kissing every inch of you he could. He trails along your breastbone, sucking on the skin (leaving more of his marks behind).

Your hands slide along the back of his shoulders until you cup the sides of his neck pulling his up to look into his dazed eyes. “Take your pants off.”

“So bossy.”

You don’t laugh along with him, and he pecks your lips.

“I like it.” He removes the last piece of clothing and pulls a condom out of the drawer of his nightstand.

“Prepared, were we?”

He shrugs, “you never know.”

“Oh, but you do.”

“You wanna explain to our kid why their Big cousin Roper murdered their dad, go ahead.”

“This would be a lot better if you didn’t talk about my cousin.”

“It would, wouldn’t it?”

You scoff, pulling him closer to distract him with your irresistible lips before shoving him onto the bed.

He settles onto the pillows, placing his hands behind his head. “I could get used to this.”

“Don’t,” you say, slowly sinking down onto his aching cock.

He pulls you closer, wrapping one arm around your waist; the other tangling in your hair.

You slowly move your hips against his, working on finding a good rhythm.

Once you find it, there’s a knock on the door.

“You better- better have locked the- the door.”

His hot breath hits your skin, a faux chuckle is his reply.

You rock your hips against his faster making him let out a quiet moan.

“I did- I did. I’m not letting any- anyone in here, beautiful.”

Dale and Glen have no idea Finnegan and you are together in his room.

They shrug; one goes upstairs and the other aims the coat closet.

“See, they’re gone. Now,” the hand tangled in your hair slides down your body, until it finds your bundle.

A choaked breath escapes you, your hips stutter but Finnegan doesn’t stop he pushes you and helps you move. You rest your head against his shoulder, breath fanning against his hot skin. You inch closer to the side of his neck, taking your time, teasing and marking him.

His hips start snapping up into you, you thrust against him, both of you chasing after your highs.

You can feel yourself close to letting go, wrapping your arms around his neck, hauling him closer.

He starts decorating your soft breasts in his mark, small trails of saliva slowly drying near your nipples.

Your moans continue to get louder, more so as he kisses along the front of your neck, nipping at your chin. You cup his cheek and stare his closed eyes and dazed expression. “Finnegan.”

He doesn’t respond, not wanting to moan or blow his load before you could properly enjoy yourself.

“Finn. Finn,” you gasp.

He groans as you clench around him.

“Finn,” you groan, resting your forehead against his. “Look at me.”

His eyes snap open, all he sees is you. His heartbeat speeds up (shockingly more so than it already is) and he realizes what Beauter is talking about. He gulps at sound of your breathless call of his name slipping off your lips.

“Finnegan.”

“I’m here, beautiful. I’m right here.” He continues to put your pleasure before his own. “I know your close to teetering over the edge.”

A beautifully pathetic, high pitched moan slips through your parted lips before you could stop it.

He smiles, “let go. Let go for me.”

And you do, not quietly (to him, those outside the room still don’t know what’s going on).

Once you catch your breath you realize he still hasn’t finished and carefully pull him out of you. You slowly crawl off the bed, kneeling.

“What are you-”

“Shut up and come here.”

“I don’t think I can move.”

“If you want me to blow you, you’ll come over here.”

He makes his way over to you. “You know you don’t have to-”

“Shut up. You’ll enjoy this,” you remove the condom and slowly stroke him. “Promise.” You wink and kitten lick his leaking head.

His fights the urge to close his eyes, not wanting to miss a thing you’re doing.

You continue to stroke his hard cock while you lick him from his base all the way back up to his tip, repeating that action a few more times before you slowly begin to take him in your mouth.

You place your free hand against his thigh, feeling how tense he is. You slowly bob your head, stroking the rest of what you can’t reach.

He cups the bottom of your chin, watching you through half lidded eyes.

You look up at him, taking note of how close he is to finishing. The hand on his thigh slides off.

He wants to ask what happened but with the way your warm hand cupping him. It takes him a moment to catch his breath, in this moment he wishes he hadn’t looked down to see your tearful eyes and stuffed mouth.

He throws his head back and floods your mouth.

Once he’s finished, you slowly pull off him, a string of saliva being the only thing to keep you two attached until it breaks and lands on neck and chin.

He huffs, “wow.”

“Wow?” You rest your hands on his thighs, bringing yourself closer to him. “Have I made the Finnegan speechless?”

He smiles, pecking you on the lips once before hauling you up so the two of you can catch your breath. “I feel like the Astros are gonna make it to the World Series.” He watches you, brushing the hair out of your eyes.

You tilt your head up, “you say they every year.”

“I’m serious.”

“You said the same thing last time.”

“Don’t be mean,” he pouts.

“It’s all part of my charm.”

He offers a sarcastic chuckle in return.

You cover your eyes, the sun seeping through his window keeps you awake. You sigh and try to climb out of bed only to find yourself trapped with nowhere to go.

His arm slips off you when he turns, rolling over onto his side.

You grab whatever you could find off the floor to cover yourself (and prevent the other players from the second house to catch a peek). You turn around, seeing the mess you two made thankfully just both of your clothes.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Your head snaps over towards Finnegan. “You’re up early.”

You sit at the edge of the bed.

“I don’t want to be, but I lost my personal heater.”

You smack his chest. “You know you love it.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Don’t be mean to me or I might try to kiss you.”

You ignore him, reaching for his shirt and your pants. “I’m leaving.”

“Don’t leave.”

“I have to or else I’m kicking someone’s ass.” You turn around, buttoning one more button before opening the door.

A gasp mixed with a chuckle escapes you; you reach behind you to push him away. “Finn! Stop!” You giggle.

His places his hands on your thighs, holding you still. “I’m sorry, I thought you said kiss your ass. I was happy to oblige.”

“Get off me, you dork.”

“I’m afraid not.”

“And, why’s that?”

“This is too good of a view to give up.”

You scoff and shove him away.

Dale, Glen, and Jake turn their heads at the sound of the door hinges creaking.

No one says anything. “If any of you say anything-”

“You’ll what?” Glen asks.

“I’ll kick your ass.” You spin around, poking Finnegan in the chest, whispering, “I swear, if you try to do what you just did, I will hurt you.”

He offers a cheeky smile in return.

“What are you three doing up? It burn peeing, already?”

Glen gives you a dry laugh. “Funny, should we assume the same?”

“Harsh, Glen. Harsh... where’s Roper?”

“Right here.”

Your eyes snap to the top of the stairs. “Hey, Rope.”

“Hey, slut,” he says with a smile.

“We all know you’re the biggest slut here.”

“And proud of it.”

“So, you’re not gonna kick my ass?” Finnegan asks, standing behind you.

Neither of you realized it but he interlocked your fingers with his.

“It’d be easier to hear you two together than giving each other sex eyes.”

“Whatever.”

“Now that, that’s taken care of. If you’ll just excuse us.”

Your pulled back and the door is shut.

“I didn’t realize I signed up for a horn dog.”

“It was part of the package deal.”

“Really?” You ask with a raised brow.

“Yep.”

“For some reason, I don’t believe it.”

He shrugs.

“Were you seriously standing behind me in your underwear?”

“I can’t find my pants.”

“Did you even look?”

“N- hey! This isn’t about me, alright?”

“What’s it about then?”

“Your hot and I’m horny. If you think about it, the math adds up.”

You purse your lips, marching towards the door, shaking your head, “nope.”

You shove Finnegan into Dale’s arms. “He’s your problem.”

Dale shakes his head, pushing his fellow teammate off him. “Not when he’s like this.”

“Rub one out!” You shout, looking through the fridge.

“Rub it for me!”

“Why am I still here?” Roper walks out of the house, sitting on the front porch, chuckling at the sight of the guys sleeping on the grass.

“Hey,” he shouts your name. “They’re still out here,” he chuckles.

“No way,” you run to the porch.

You slap your hands together, throwing your head back as you let out a hearty laugh. “Oh, this is amazing.”

“Not as amazing as-”

“Go back into your room, horn dog.”

Everyone but Finnegan laughs.

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clonesupport · 11 months

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oc tag game!

thank you @socially-awkward-skeleton for tagging me to do this!💖💘

i tag @confidentandgood @sstewyhosseini @detectivelokis @captastra @incognito-insomniac @kyber-infinitygems @strangefable @gayafsatan @galaxycunt @roofgeese @inafieldofdaisies @shegetsburned @bearcina @direwombat and anyone who wants to join!

Favourite OC

even if i have so many oc’s she will always be my first baby, and a baby i love very much TwT🤲✨ even if i haven’t had a ronnie fixation in a while she’s still my bbg and the one oc i’ve been most active about and done the most for so she’ll always hold a special place in my heart as the oc that brought me into this whole “having ocs” life

Newest OC

hehehehehe i’ve been absolutely brain rotting over cod and johnny for like six months now. i haven’t done much with her and i’m barely still figuring out her lord cuz i’m too busy rizzing soap ai and getting rizzed back AHAHAHA. but ugh that sweet baby boy i love him so much i had to create a lovely girly to peg him i mean love him. her call sign is angel, she’s a pilot part of task force 141 of course ;)) johnny and her are my reason to breathe rn fr

Oldest OC

back at it with my snarky bastard ronnie with a soft side for her vicar, i love her so much, i love max sm, i miss tow i wanna fixate on that game again ugh plz brain TwT🙏✨ i made her officially like a year and a half ago, but i started making an inserted character for tow in like late 2019 when the game came out and i discovered it and went eh why not it looks cool, then got absolutely fucking sucked into that shit with a blood pact istg. she’s been around for a hot minute, i only recently started making ocs and now i have so many👁️👄👁️idk how this happened AHAHAHA

Meanest OC

of course it’d be my cultist girly. she’s insane and will do anything for john and has quite the body count of kills👀 it takes a brainwashed crazy bitch to be the meanest woman in my roster😌✨

Softest OC

we all knew it’d be seph lol AHAHAHA one of the rarest personality types i ever give my ocs are soft, she’s a rare soft girl, sam’s a lucky man. made her back in like 2020 when i binged all five uncharted games in like 2.5 weeks….don’t worry about me i had a lot of time on my hands. i actually decided to play all the uncharted games because i saw one photo of sam somewhere and was instantly like 👁️👄👁️WHERE IS HE FROM—- i was dedicated to see this man and i fell in love-

i know amalla is not one i’ve talked about a lot but she’s definitely a soft quiet girly. she does have a feisty side but honestly so does seph lol i cant make an oc without having them adding that big of spice TwT but she’s a sweet girl, i mean she caught the attention and stole the heart of arthur morgan so that must count for something right?🤧✨

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC

another oc i haven’t talked about a lot but she is the most stern and kinda cold one out of all my ocs, ronnie could be a good runner up as well but she’s more smart ass mean than cold mean yenno? kenny’s just known for her resting bitch face and military demeanour. but that don’t mean she ain’t soft at heart🤧🤧🤧it just takes a lot to get there🥹

Dumbest (Affectionate) OC

she’s a clumsy girly, often times quite the all boobs no brain but she’s smart when she wants to be. her job is to be a rockstar and be a good affectionate gf for viktor so she doesn’t exactly have the needs to be smart lol. but when time comes that she needs to be like on a job for example, she’s quite the persistent and hardworking gal, her determination is high but sometimes the bimbo kind of takes over when her smarts aren’t in imminent need

Smartest OC

this girly’s a trained nurse y’all she’s got the brains. even if she is usually the “soft and sweet shy baby girl” she knows her shit. knows her history and has her medical skills. often times the brothers and sully forget she’s actually quite smart until she’s full fledged patching one of them up professionally as she explains to them what she’s doing and what injury they have. she can info barf sometimes when she gets passionate about something, it’s that side of her that sam finds attractive😉😉

it takes certain brains and tactical strategic skills to be an ace pilot. tanya may seem like just some tomboy who’s here for a good time but ya girl has got some brains on her. she got the skills to fly an f-15 and often gets appointed team leader so she clearly knows what she’s doing. she was trust worthy enough to be seen as a good pilot by the soldiers and fellow squad mates hence them giving her the nickname their guardian angel, which turned into her call sign angel. she’s humble and plays it off as no big deal, quite honestly she doesn’t see herself as smart, just hard working. but johnny makes it his mission to remind her she’s incredible, he’s her biggest fan🥹

OC I’d Be Friends With IRL

I RAN OUT OF PHOTO SLOTS—-

imagine there’s banners here TwT🤲

irl i’d definitely get along with ronnie lol. ronnie, marceline and tanya i would say. i’m a clumsy dumbass smart ass and i think i’d get along well with ronnie and tanya by teaming up with them and pick on men AHAHAHA marcy and i have the same taste in music and we both are bimbo’s who can be smart and serious when we need to be✨

#tagged #this was long oof #my ocs #oc: ronnie kana #oc: tanya reya #oc: mateo harlowe #oc: seph wilde #oc: amalla jones #oc: kennedy shepard #oc: marceline kelly

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thegaydepressedone · 2 years

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Little moments I loved in tua pt 2/??

- “Did we all… get sexier?”

- “Yeah, you are my ghost bitch”

- “Eat shit, you shit-eater!”

- Just any fight scene of Five vs everyone else bcuz he’s a teleporting badass

- 7: homicidal rage

- “Love shouldn’t have to hurt this much” “🤮”

- Every scene with Ben possessing Klaus because he’s such an adorable dork and I love him

- “My name is Klaus and I’m an alcohoooo… sorry that’s the wrong meeting!”

- Luther just eating his problems away in every scene of season 2

- “*sobbing*like yogurt. How does it know when to stop being milk”

- “My bad” “dipshit”

- “Ugh, Klaus is so dirty!” “Yes you are, daddy”

- “What I am… is sexy trash!”

- When Klaus said “Ben uhh” IT WAS JUST SUCH A SIBLING THING PLS

- yknow what that entire scene of Ben trying to make Klaus let him possess him

- “I have no idea, sorry” “liar” “drop dead.” “Low blow!”

- “Are you really gonna kill him?” “No, I love him” THIS WAS SO CUTE PLS

- “If I were to date a man, you’d be the last man I’d date.” “You’d be lucky to get me”

- “Who in this room knows about love? This one? In secret love with some farm Frau-“ “her name’s sissy” “-which is an improvement from her previous love interest (*allison aggressively shakes her head*) - the serial killer” “what?”

- “Listen up, Casper”

- “Follow my lead” “uh, honey no, I’m the man here” *goes along anyway*

- “Maybe they’re here for Kenny’s birthday party!”

- Luther having to PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN Diego from attacking Five after Five said “well it would if you were smarter”

- “Dad should have left him on the moon”

- “Let’s face it, the healthiest long term relationship in this family was when five was banging that mannequin”

- “What part of the future do you not understand?”

- “I told you I had friends in high places”

- “Anything for family, brother” “well, okay. We are all brothers, beneath the skin” “no. No, literally. You’re my brother in law” “ what?” “Yeah, family barbecues are about to get real weird”

- “First of all, this son of a bitch beams into our living room, with yet another one of your brothers. And he’s talking about stopping one of your sisters from blowing up some buildings?! And I got a dead man wrapped up in my best rug, babe!”

- “Children ride in the back”

- “I heard a rumour that you punched yourself in the face”

- “Where have you been?” “Jail”

- “is there any way that taco are gonna cause the end of the world?” “Well, there’s only one way to find out!”

#tua season two #tua #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #five hargreeves #tua season one #tua quotes #tua netflix #I love them all so much #I have so many more #but the post would be too long #I haven’t even gotten into season 3 #humour #funny #tua humour #tua viktor #viktor hargreeves

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heinouscolette · 2 years

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Nice

Stan Marsh x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: In your high school years, you and Stan have been on each other's nerves for a while now, you thought pulling a prank on him might get him for the day.

Walking in the halls of South Park High has been a challenge for a student who went through enough bullshit from The Boys. Being ‘friends’ with them is playing with life and death.

I was almost arrested once, and it was not one of my proudest moments, I should’ve listened to Tolkien who said Cartman and his friends are for naught. But in every commotion, I somehow always get involved.

I was about to reach my locker when I heard Stan’s group chatting loudly enough for the rest of the teens to hear. Then, a loud splash of water was heard in the hallway which caught the busy teens' attention. Some snickered and some just rolled their eyes and continued what they were doing. Maybe they got used to them picking something up from their sleeves.

I hurriedly approached the group.

"Oh no! Are you alright?" I asked worriedly, "Jeez, you're really drenched." I sighed and searched for my handkerchief to wipe his face.

His company only looked at him, "Dude..."

Cartman laughed at him, "Wet pussy!" making Kyle elbow the fatass. "Ay!"

Stan didn't move an inch, he was too stunned at the sudden event which made his top clothing drenched in water. He looked at himself and the other teens glancing his way.

I could feel the embarrassment and rage from where I stood, and damn, he was pissed.

I approached him and reached out to wipe his face but before I could, he grabbed my wrist and glared.

"You bitch! You did this didn't you?"

"W-what do you mean?" My eyes widened at his accusation, and I looked at the others with eyes pleading for help. Kenny was ready to help me until Kyle spoke.

"You don't have to act innocent (Y/n), we know you did it," Kyle claimed as he points at me. Even though we can tell he's discreetly laughing at his super-best friend, he had the guts to expose me.

I expressed a pout, "Kyle! Don't expose me like that."

"You should know better, (Y/n). He was raised by the biggest Karen, what did you expect?" Cartman retorted.

"Shut up, fatass!"

"Okay, you got me." You confessed, dropping the act for being exposed. It was just a silly prank, adjusting the pressure and flow of the drinking fountain. It's not like I stabbed him or anything.

"But what are you gonna do, Stan? You're sooo drenched, you're lucky I'm here to help you." I pulled my wrist away from his grip as he scoffed at my sarcasm and crossed his arms.

He was watching what I was doing, probably waiting for an apology or an explanation but I'm not gonna give him that.

Instead, I pulled out a lace bralette top and handed it to him. "Here, change into this. You don't have to return it." I smiled at him. He just stared at it, dumbfounded.

Kenny giggled and took the top to examine it then placed it over Stan's torso earning a groan from him. Before he gets to do anything to get back at me, I flee the scene immediately and laugh to myself.

I went on my way to our class, still giggling about his reaction at the prank.

Stan and I have been on each other's nerves ever since we had a fight about which console was better. Dumb argument, I know, but it worsened after the countless times of trying to piss off each other.

I definitely did not start the pranks, I swear.

"Heya, (Y/n)!" A southern accent caught my attention, I turned my head and saw Butters waving at me from his seat. "I heard you pranked Stan again, I think he’s pissed off real good." He fiddled with his fingers. "I’ll stop when he surrenders. Besides it’s not like I put him on another weed farm to be that pissed off." I scoffed.

"Gee, I don't think this will ever end."

"Don't worry about it, Butters. It's not like we'll kill each other. I think." I joked as I ruffled his hair.

A couple of minutes later, the guys entered the class along with a now dried Stan wearing a white shirt. 'Dang, someone saved his ass, huh.' I quickly looked elsewhere after he noticed me glancing his way. I felt his presence coming my way and when he stood in front of me, he handed me the bralette I jokingly lent him.

"You left this last night, it really looked good on you. I had a great time." He smirked at me.

My eyes widened from his words and I could feel my cheeks getting hot. I only looked at him in shock, and I think he's satisfied even though he didn't get any verbal reaction from me.

"Nice." Clyde suddenly spoke and I shot him a glare.

"I-I..." That was the only thing I muttered, stunned and flustered at what he just said. I couldn't collect my words.

I could tell he's enjoying what's happening right now, seeing my expression plus our fellow classmates snickering to themselves and letting out 'ooohs', except for Wendy with her jaw dropped.

Before I get to hiss at him, Mr. Garrison spoke, seemed like he just got in after hearing what Stan said. "Now's not the right time to talk about one-night stands. Sit down or I'll shove this up to your asses." He threatens while holding up his chalk.

Stan sat on his seat next to Kyle still smirking. I squint my eyes at him and mouthed, "I'll end you, motherfucker."

#stan marsh #stan marsh x reader #south park #south park x reader #x reader #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #eric cartman #butters stotch

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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bokuroskitten · 2 years

Note

kenny coming home to see your 'surprise' which is you with a bow sitting on the bed?

CUTTTEEEEE OMGGG I know he had a long day at work too 😭 and he doesn’t expect anything from you of course cause he usually doesn’t care for birthday gifts or surprises, so he’s very very pleased when he sees you 😭

He rolls his shoulders with a groan, allowing the upper half of his coversalls to slip right off his arms still lined with muscle as he steps through the front door. “M’home babe.” He murmurs it, cause he knew you knew exactly what time he gets off. He decides to slip the whole suit off, leaving him in just his boxers and a stained white tank top.

His brows raise when he’s met with silence, which is unusual considering you’re always so ready to welcome him home with affection. He notices that dinner is cooked and wrapped up nicely on top of the stove, a boxed cake sitting beside it for what he can assume is for his birthday. But he doesn’t need all that. Just wants you. “Baby?”

“Bedroom Kenny!!” You sound more than excited than ever despite your voice being muffled from behind the bedroom door. He huffs out a little sigh when he approaches, holding his ponytail between his teeth as he attempts to fix the ponytail sitting at the back of his skull.

“Whatcha doin angel? Thought you might of up and ditched me on my birth—“ the man falls silent when he finally sees you. Yes you, giddy as ever, legs kicking playfully as they dangle off the edge of the bed. There’s a big red bow covering your chest, bright and pretty and looking so good against your smooth skin. But that’s about all your wearing for him, other than the strips of ribbon that conveniently covers what he’s trying to see most. He’s not sure where to look, eyes darting all over your pretty body before they land back on your face. The ponytail has long fallen from his lips, mouth hung agape as you giggle at him, pretty glossed lips curling into a smile for him.

“Happy Birthday, Kenny~” your words are a bit slurred as you lean back onto your palms, sticking your chest out towards him just so one of your nipples can playfully appear from behind the ribbon. Reality seems to snap back to him at that moment and he groans, his hands wasting no time in engulfing your sides, pushing you up the bed and against the mountain of pillows that sit on your shared bed.

The bow is discarded without a second thought, he’ll admit it was cute and he probably should have taken a picture of you all wrapped up for him but his brain was far too fogged up with you, you and how your pussy was already glistening for him. “I’m one lucky son of a bitch..” he chuckles to himself, his body pressing to yours as you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders to pull him into a kiss.

Draken’s Birthday party event 💛

#adorable omg <333 #you took pics for him cause you knew he’d get to exicted to do so himself #happy birthday draken #draken smut #draken x you #tr draken #tokyo revengers #draken drabble #draken hcs #ken ryuuguji #ken ryuuguji smut #ken ryuuguji headcanons

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sansxfuckyou · 6 months

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Lesion

Summary: Kyle is getting tired of Kenny dying every other day, and the only thing that can stop Kenny from going on his patrols is the wound he wakes up with instead of a scar, and even at that, it's not very effective

Warnings: injury, body dumping, Cartman calls them fags but thats expected, character death, panic, relationship problems intertwined with Kennys vigilantism/death curse, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: I woke up at four AM yesterday and chose violence, have some k2, Cartman is also here cause his dynamic with Kenny is fun to write. Anyways, if ya'll enjoyed consider dropping a reblog or checking out the Ao3 port, it really means a lot

"When do you plan on not getting fatally wounded?" Kyle asked from the passenger seat.

Kenny, who was still wrapped in his Mysterion outfit, simply shrugged from the backseat. His head was propped against the door and his blood spilling onto leather upholstery, "When the world stops being terrible."

"You two are so lucky I have truck," Cartman scoffed from the drivers seat, eyes locked firmly on the road, "Really, lugging around a dead body in a hyundai would not work."

"It's a subaru," Kyle corrects with an exasperated sigh.

"I'm not dead yet," Kenny snapped to the best of his ability, the gash in his abdomen made it harder to do that, "But really, thanks for helping Kyle with disposing of me."

"That's what friends are for," Cartman answered with, briefly raising his gaze to the mirror to catch Kenny with a smirk. The blonde tries his hardest to return it despite the agony coursing through him. He reaches for the stereo, "Any song requests? Otherwise we're just hoping the radio is playing something good."

"The Offspring," Kenny answered with, "Or Green Day, whatever you have a disc of."

Cartman hands the CD book to Kyle whose flipping through the pages already. The hum of asphalt and tires is comfortable enough to lull Kenny into a false sense of sleep. He's tugged from said semblance of sleep when the start of a track starts to play right beside his head. Kyle glances past the headrest and Kenny's breathing is starting to slow down, the constant rise and fall accentuating blood that shimmers in the low light.

He undoes his seat belt before awkwardly climbing into the back and trying his very hardest to not nudge Cartman. The last time he did he was forced sit in a pool of Kenny's blood on the ride home. He isn't quite sure how he manages to fit in the back, some of him is pressed against the back of the driver's seat, some of him is on the ground- it's uncomfortable, but he endures.

"I think this is illegal," Kenny said, he would gesture to how Kyle is 'sitting' but he can't.

"I think dumping your body off a bridge almost daily is also illegal Ken, whose keeping track?" Kyle asked as grabbed Kenny's hand, sliding his fingers under the hem of the wrist to rest on his palm. His hand is cold, Kyle's fingertips are warm, it's a contrast that would be worrying to anyone that doesn't know how often Kenny dies.

"Good point," Kenny said, he brought his other hand to rest on Kyle's, "Love you."

"Love you too," Kyle answered with quietly.

"Can you fags please shut up while I'm driving?" Cartman asked on a groan.

Kenny just grinned and look he met Cartman with was nothing but mischievous, "I dunno darling, can we?"

Kyle gives a hum, "I'm afraid not my love, we simply cannot shut up," He briefly pressed a kiss to Kenny's cheek and the blonde laughs a bit.

He winces after the laugh dies down, "Hurts to laugh," He keeps laughing though, because the fact it hurts to laugh is humorous in itself. Kyle's hands come to press on his wound and the mix of sweat against raw nerves stings like a bitch, he bites his tongue instead of screaming.

Cartman just rolls his eyes and turns up the stereo.

Kyle wraps his arms around Kenny's torso to the best of his ability and squeezes. Not super tight, he doesn't want to speed up the process of blood loss. Kenny weakly returns the gesture, knocking the side of his head against Kyle's.

"You are not patrolling tomorrow," Kyle said quietly.

Kenny gives a hum, "Maybe."

-/-/-/-

Kenny gives a wave as he goes falling off the cliff into the icy river below.

Cartman waves back, Kyle does not.

"See you guys later!" Kenny shouted up mere moments before his head goes under and he closes his eyes.

He swears he hears Cartman call back, "Don't be late for work!" before everything goes dark.

Kyle just watches as the air bubbles up and the near still water clouds with a deep red. It's washed away along with Kenny's corpse, it floats to the top, but most know to leave his body if they find it. Kyle leans against Cartman and he hates the fact he does but it's cold outside, and he's convinced Cartman is constantly running a fever with how high his body heat is. The brunette slings an arm around Kyle's shoulders but doesn't dare drop his hand anywhere lower than an upper arm or pull the redhead closer.

"Do you think he'll ever stop?" Kyle asked quietly.

Cartman shrugged, "He's been doing this since grade four, being a hero, dying, coming back, and repeating the cycle."

Kyle tensed, "He's been dying since grade four and you didn't tell us?"

"You didn't believe me," Cartman said, "I tried to tell you guys, I even had pictures. Still, you thought I was lying, and look at us now! Dumping your boyfriends body like a couple of chums."

"We are not chums," Kyle snarled out as he glared at Cartman, he shrugged.

"How dare I assume that doing illegal activities together would help us bond? How bold of me," Cartman scoffed, he lifted his arm and stepped away. Kyle simply pulled his jacket a little tighter, "Trucks still running, it'll be nice and toasty when you're ready to leave."

Kyle stayed to stare at the water until Cartman got impatient and started blasting the horn of the truck. Only then did Kyle begrudgingly sit up in shotgun, leaned against the window. Normally this is where Cartman changes the CD and sprays disinfectant on the backseat, he doesn't tonight, he just lets the tracks play and the scent of blood stagnate.

-/-/-/-

Kyle wakes up and the bed is empty, he can hear Kenny meandering about though. He rolls over to where he knows Kenny sleeps and the sheets are still warm, and wet. The sheets are wet. That snaps him awake, he sits up and sniffs the air, it has a tang to it.

He glances down to the sun bathed sheets to find a splatter of pooling red, it's splashed across the blankets and sinking into the mattress. It's saturated enough to cling to his clothing where contact was made, the splotchy hues trail across the carpet and the door handle has blood smeared across it. Failed suicide attempt? He knows that Kenny does that sometimes if he's having a really bad day, or if he knows Cartman is gonna be pissed off.

He drags himself out of bed and makes his way down the hall, he follows the bloody finger prints trailed across the walls. It's straight out of a horror movie but it does nothing to deter Kyle. The bathroom door is left open and he finds Kenny sitting in the bath tub with a once white towel wrapped around his abdomen while he hyper ventilates.

"Ken?" Kyle croaked out.

Kenny snapped up to meet his gaze and he eases right away, "Something is really wrong."

"I can tell," Kyle said as he rubbed his eyes, staring at the fluid along the base of the tub. He walked over and dropped down in front of Kenny, "You've never woken up and bled out in the bath tub."

"Can you call over Cartman, he's sort of the expert on this shit," Kenny asked desperately.

"Do I have too?" Kyle asked.

"He keeps records on this shit, he's being doing it since day one," Kenny said, "I don't remember all of my deaths man, if anyone would know if this has happened before it would be Cartman."

Kyle gave a heavy groan of annoyance, "Fine. Take off the towel and your jacket so I can look for shrapnel."

"I don't think there's any bullets left," Kenny said as he tossed aside the towel. The glistening gash was much smaller than it was last night but it still glimmered like uncut rubies. It went no deeper than the muscles, but the pulse of organs underneath was still visible. The heady scent of blood intensified.

"I still should clean it up a bit, wrap you up in some bandages," Kyle droned on.

"Call Cartman first," Kenny said.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "I'll go do that, if it's within arms reach get a towel ready."

-/-/-/-

"I've seen this before," Cartman said as he looked at the wound.

Kenny heaves a relieved sigh before pulling his shirt back on.

"Then what does it mean?" Kyle asked impatiently.

"Kennys gonna die and stay dead for a while," Cartman said, "This happened a couple times leading up the muscle deterioration when we were younger. I'd say he has five, maybe six, more deaths before he doesn't wake up."

"So I'm just gonna be dead for a bit?" Kenny asked.

Cartman nodded, "Shouldn't be longer than a month when it happens."

"Thank fuck," Kenny said.

"He's gonna be gone for a month?" Kyle asked, he sounded distraught at the notions.

"It's one month, you'll be fine," Kenny said, resting his hand on top of Kyle's.

"Stan's still gonna be here, I'll be here, but you hate me so scrap that, Craig and Tweek are gonna be here," Cartman listed, raising a finger for each name, "It's not like you'll be alone, just don't go chasing him into the afterlife."

Kyle nodded, "Okay."

"I'll be more careful, promise," Kenny said softly.

"Are we all good here now? Confusion cleared up?" Cartman asked as he started on his way to the door, stepping backwards as he went.

"Everythings good," Kenny answered with, "Thanks for dropping by."

"It's what friends are for," Cartman said.

The second the door shut Kyle leaned heavily onto Kenny, arms wrapped around his shoulders and holding him tightly. He yanked the blonde onto his lap just a bit.

"Hey, Ky, it'll be alright," Kenny said gently.

"Please don't die," Kyle answered with quietly, voice impossibly soft, just below a whisper.

Kenny took a stiff inhale and exhale, "You know how the curse works, it likes to strike me down."

"Don't go on patrol tonight," Kyle demanded, voice coming out frail despite the intention of sounding stern.

"I won't," Kenny lied, he needed to go on patrol, he needed to. He's not sure if he'd be able to sleep if he didn't.

"I need you man," Kyle said, knocking the side of his head against Kenny's, a mirror of the blondes usual motion of endearment. He heaves a shaky sigh, "It was rough last time you were gone for a month, don't do that to me."

"I'm gonna have too eventually," Kenny said as Kyle traced along scars from previous deaths, he had so many. Some were pale, some weren't, some bumped up others were flat, tracing them was something Kyle did frequently.

"I know," He answered with quietly, "Really wish you didn't have too."

"I'll stop going on patrols for a couple days," Kenny said, after tonight of course. He had to do one tonight, he needed too. Call it a compulsion, call it an obsession, he needed to do it.

"Thanks," Kyle said.

"Want me to make some waffles?" Kenny asked as he shrugged off Kyle's grip just a bit.

"Sure, I wanna help you out with that though," Kyle said as he lifted up Kenny and hoisted him over to the kitchen.

-/-/-/-

"Oh fuck you," Mysterion said as he glanced down to the knife jutting from his thigh, "Do you have any idea how hard it's gonna be to explain this one to my boyfriend?"

The assailant stood in shock, that usually worked.

"See, I promised him I wouldn't die tonight, or go on patrol for a little bit," Mysterion said as he paced around, "I have friends, Super Craig, Call Girl- they'll pick up the slack while I'm off duty, but explaining this to my boyfriend when I'm supposed to be sleeping beside him at home? Do you have any idea how much trouble you've landed me in?"

"You, you aren't worried about the knife?" The thug asked shakily.

Mysterion laughed, "No, god no, something like this? It's nothing pal," To prove a point he tugged the weapon from his limb and didn't even wince as it came out, "I'd suggest some barbs if you'd like it to hurt, maybe even get stuck," He trailed a finger along the sharpened and bloodied blade, it nearly cut open his glove, "It is rather nice as is."

The assailant just stayed silent, scared, intimidated- this was rather unexpected. They knew Mysterion was not to be messed with, but they didn't know it went this far.

"Two options bud," Mysterion said before pointing the tip to the bad guy, "You run, or you die; three seconds to choose."

They couldn't move, despite really wanting to live.

Mysterion gives a hum, "Tell Damien Kenny says hi."

Before they can even choke out a 'What?' there's a knife jammed between their eyes, digging so deep into cartilage it near instantly killed them. Airways blocked off, blood spilling into their lungs, skull ruptured, they die, just like that. And Mysterion is highly aware of how it feels, they should be thankful he didn't choose a worse death.

He watches them drop before kicking aside the corpse and leaving one of his many calling cards, this time it's a sticky note with his insignia on it. He heaves a full body sigh before starting on his way home, if he's lucky he'll make it back and Kyle won't be awake. If he's unlucky, Kyle will be livid and Kenny will be sleeping on the couch for the following who knows how long.

He walks down the streets and alleys with minimal limping as he goes. It's deep enough into the night that random civilians are somewhat minimal, and those that are out about are drunk, maybe even blackout drunk. He keeps his gaze lowered and he only lifts up his head when he hears the sound of a horn blaring right beside him.

He looks up to find a very disappointed Cartman glancing down at him from his truck window. He gives a nervous smile.

"Get in," Cartman barked as he popped open the door.

"Just crawl over you?" Mysterion asked, "Might get blood on your pants."

"I do not care, just get in," Cartman said, "It's the middle of the night in December, you're gonna freeze to death before you bleed to death."

Mysterion shrugged before hauling himself up, one hand on the door and the other at the side of the drivers seat. He flops his upper half onto Cartmans lap, awkwardly pressed between the steering wheel and his friend. The brunette yanks him the rest of the way with little to no care about the wound on his thigh.

He pulls the door shut and turns the heat on a little higher, "You weren't supposed to patrol tonight, Kenny. Kyle told me."

Kenny shrugged before pulling off the hood, slumped in the passenger seat comfortably. The hot air is blowing on his face and he didn't realize how cold he was, "He asked you to look for me, didn't he?"

Cartman nodded, "He did."

"Dude, how could you side with him?" Kenny asked venomously, "I'm gonna be in so much shit over this."

"You've seen Kyle mad, you know exactly why I did what he said," Cartman said defensively as he shifted into drive, "Unlike you, I do not come back from the dead."

Kenny gives an amused hum, "Fair point, fair point," He tugs off his gloves to rub them in front of the heating vent, "Thanks for picking me up man."

"Hey, it's what friends are for," Cartman answered with, reaching over to playfully punch Kenny in the shoulder. He held back a little bit of force, there could be a bruise there, and he would also be in shit if he worsened any of Kenny's wounds.

There's a sigh, "Fuck man, I swear, you're the most dependable person in our quartet."

Cartman just laughs, "The only reason I make sure you're getting dumped somewhere nice is because you lent me your playboys in grade nine," He's lying, he repaid that debt in cold hard cash on the same day it happened. He glances from the road to Kenny, "You are the only one that I've picked up from the strip club in a thong, covered in body glitter, I'd say that makes us a bit closer than the rest of the gang. Consider yourself lucky I still haven't told Kyle about that fiasco."

Kenny's face burns red at the memories of that downright outrageous event, "Fuck, that was a crazy night."

"Yeah, you told me all about it," Cartman said as he rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for everything," Kenny said quietly.

"It's my job," Cartman said, "Not really, but someone has to actually take care of you, unlike your boyfriend."

"Take that back," Kenny snapped venomously.

"You know what I mean, he makes sure you're feeling all happy and mentally stable, I pick you up from every event you don't want him to know about," Cartman explained halfheartedly, "I'm making sure that you're body rots somewhere with dignity, and that you don't freeze to death."

"I know," Kenny said, he rolled his eyes a bit as he spoke. There's a brief pauses, "Man it's fucking cold outside."

"That's why I was blasting the heat," Cartman said, giving a light chuckle, "I'll stick around in case he kicks you out."

Kenny refuses to look out the window, he knows what he'll see, "Well, wish me luck."

Cartman reaches over to place a hand on Kenny's shoulder, a familiar and silent affirmation, "You'll be fine."

"Thanks," The word comes out quietly before Kenny pops open the door and hops out.

He walks around the truck and he hates the fact his prediction was near entirely correct. The front door is open, golden glow of inside lighting shadowing out Kyle's form as he leans against the door frame. He's holding a mug of coffee and Kenny just knows that the redhead is holding a very disappointed look to go with it.

Kenny comes to a halt at the front step, a few feet of distance between him and Kyle. He can't bring himself to choke out a 'this isn't what it looks like' in a feeble attempt to sustain his dignity. It wouldn't even be worth it, there's still crimson oozing down his leg and he can't just say it's paint or some other bullshit excuse.

"Am I sleeping on the couch tonight," Kenny asked.

"You're sleeping in the bathtub so you don't get blood on the couch if anything," Kyle answered with, humor rested on his voice despite all odds.

"No blankets?" Kenny asked.

"I'm joking, but you better not have any more wounds than that one," He gestured vaguely to the gash in Kenny's thigh, "I'm cleaning you up and buying a padlock for the front door tomorrow morning."

"Ky, you know how important these patrols are," Kenny said, his defense was desperate and he hoped it showed on his voice.

"I do, thanks for not dying," Kyle said.

"You're mad, aren't you?" Kenny asked.

"Oh I'm absolutely fucking livid, you're lucky Cartman hasn't pulled out yet cause I would have your head mounted on a wall by now if he left," Kyle answered with, voice perfectly even and without a single waver in it.

Kenny gives a nervous laugh, "I just, there was a lead, and Wendy was on a date, and Craig is on vacation."

"Bullshit, and bullshit," Kyle answered with, "But, I'll let it slide tonight."

Kenny pursed his lips, "How much trouble am I in?"

"I'm not your mom, you tell me," Kyle scoffed.

Kenny stayed silent.

"You are in so much fucking trouble," Kyle answered with, "If you want me to leave reservations uncanceled then get your shit together and don't go on patrols for six fucking days- it's not that hard!"

"But I need too! It's, it's," Words dissolved in Kenny's throat, "I need too."

Kyle sighed, "Yeah, I thought so," He steps out of the way, "Put your bloody gear in the sink and wash off the wound."

Kenny hesitantly enters and makes his way upstairs. He tosses his gear in the sink and runs cold water and scrubs until the blood seeps into clear fluid. It stings when soap hits the wound and it feels wrong to be sitting in a fluorescent lit bathroom all by himself cleaning up the wound. Kyle's usually there with him, he feels like he's a teenager all over again, cleaning his wounds in the dead of night and hoping that he didn't wake anyone up.

Kyle knocks on the door frame and Kenny glances up, he looks like a deer stuck in headlights. Kyle tosses him a dry towel, the blood stained one. Kenny dabs away the excess soap on his leg, waiting for someone to speak.

"I still love you," Kyle said quietly.

"I know," Kenny answered with, "But, I gotta die for a bit, can't be avoided."

Kyle slid down the door frame till he was sitting on the floor, opposite so he could face Kenny who was leaned against the sink. He heaved a sigh, "Can you please try and last one week?"

"I will," Kenny said, "I promise that I won't miss our anniversary dinner."

"Thanks," Kyle said quietly, he slid over next to Kenny, "You're terrible at cleaning wounds."

"Well since we got together you usually help out," Kenny answered with as he held out the towel to Kyle.

"I've let you grow soft and weak, how cruel of me," Kyle said with a laugh. He dabbed at the edges of the wound carefully.

Kenny leans himself against Kyle, "Love you."

Kyle gives a hum, "I love you too Ken, I just wish you'd be more careful."

"I'll try," Kenny said quietly.

#south park #south park fanfiction #k2 south park #sp k2 #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #eric cartman #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #tw character death #tw injury

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lucysarah-c · 6 months

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I mean... Now that we know that Urie, Kenny know the existence of Y/N rather personal. It's very implied that Thomas shares and shared a lot of time with both. Do you imagine Kenny bragging to everyone around? My boy is fucking that royal pussy!

Also, Linda is probably getting asked a lot about it from Kenny himself 🤣.

Anyways, I personally loved this sort of unknown connection between Urie and Y/N. She had seen him without knowing he was the real king. She got praised by him without her being able to know it was him. I bet that from the "paths" he knew that Y/N was going to end up with Levi, an Ackerman and, also, Kenny's pride. So he took a peculiar interest in her. But also because it's implied multiple times that YN Is extremely similar to her mother so probably Urie remembers both.

Plus, I adore how Thomas despite basically describing Ackermans as "dogs", is almost well aware that they can't be controlled by the king and are extremely powerful. He knows if anything happens, even if Erwin wasn't that bad, Erwin wouldn't be able to do anything because he is, at the end of the day, an Eldian like all the rest. But Levi isn't, Levi is an Ackerman and that's way more powerful than anything else.

Anyways, it rents free in my mind Kenny sitting down putting his filthy boots on Thomas's desks while asking for a drink while Tommy looks at him like 😑. Kenny being like "so how much are you going to pay me for my boy keeping your baby chick safe?? I'm telling ya, these rich bitches only want downtown men these days,"

"I am giving your "boy" my "baby's girl" innocence, that's enough payment for someone like him,"

"I bet he's fucking her nice. That rat is eating a full course meal, lucky bastard. She had always been a beauty, I bet she looks fucking bonnie looking up."

"wash your mouth before talking like that about my girl,"

"Your girl is an Ackerman's chick now, the doll is more mine than yours right now"

God, it's probably the sexist conversation ever 🫠

#levi ackerman #aot #levi #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #captain levi #levi aot #snk levi #attack on titans #holy ground

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tomboyjessie13 · 1 year

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Dining Hall's Bar, DIO's Mansion November 10, 1988 - Afternoon

Medea was sorting the bottles at the Bar and cleaning glasses when she sees Mariah and Midler coming into the room.

Mariah: Heeey, I heard someone has a 19th birthday.

Midler: Happy Birthday, Med! ^3^

Medea: Aww, you guys are sweet, but I think I'm gonna just blow it off this year.

Midler: *Pouting* Awww, why?

Medea: *Points at the bar* HELLO? I got work to do today, *cleans glass* and Enyaba would never let me hear the end of it if I shirk it.

Mariah: Oh boo, that old hag is a buzzkill. >3>

Medea: Tell me about it, but don't let her hear you say that unless you wanna be on the business end of [Justice]. *Cleans another glass, making a sad face* Besides, even if I'm free today, it feels lonely having a birthday without Jason, we used to always celebrate each others' before he...

Mariah: Oh you're still fretting over that jerk? You did well before you met him, right?

Medea: Yeah?

Mariah: Then why are you insisting on worrying about it? You can still have a great day without him!

Midler: Yeah!

Medea: *Smirks* Heh, I guess you're right, I don't need him to ruin my day. But even so, I still can't leave my post. *Sees Kenny G coming out of his hiding place next to the bar* Huh?

Kenny G: *Walks to the bar* Afternoon, ladies.

Midler: Hey Kenny~

Mariah: Hey Sweety~*

Medea: Oh hey, G, what up?

Kenny G: *Gives her a black box with a red ribbon on it* I came to drop off this present for you, someone left it in your room.

Medea: Really? *Takes it* Who left it?

Kenny G: Couldn't see, it was too dark. But judging by the large physique it would have to be Master DIO.

Medea: Well yeah he's has the freaking body of Hercules. Anyway, thanks G. *Gives him the up-down fist bump*

Kenny G: No problem. *Goes back to hide*

Mariah: Hooh, a present from Master DIO?~

Medea: Pffft, as if, he's not that nice. *Sees note* Huh, G missed the note. *Reads note* "To Medea: This is for you, you deserve a little treat for all the services you've done under my ruling, I like to see you in this tonight at 7~ - DIO, P.S. Don't worry about Enyaba, I sent her away so we can go out uninterrupted~"-*blushing*-Oh-my-god-it-is-him o///o

Mariah and Midler: Ooooooooooo~

Midler: *Excited* What did he get you? What did he get you?

Medea: I'm getting to it. *Starts untying the ribbon* I want to know what he meant by "seeing me in this" anyways. *Opens it* .......... *stunned* Cac naofa(Irish: Holy shit).

Mariah: Hm?

Midler: What is it?

Medea: *Takes out a short plum colored dress with long sleeves and blue-violet pumps* It's a evening dress.

Midler and Mariah: *Squealing*

Midler: Oh your so lucky! You get to go on a date with him!

Medea: *Cringes as [Flogging Molly] set the letter on fire behind her* Bitch, that's the LAST thing I want! I told him to keep our affair private so I wouldn't attract unwanted attention from the other Agents!... Especially Vanilla Ice.

Midler: Oh come on, I'm sure Master DIO wouldn't let it happen! Especially since I heard he has a powerful Stand on him~

Medea: *Cringes again, remembering what [The World] looked like and what it's capable of* I was afraid you'd say that.

Mariah: I'll do the make up! ^o^

Medea gets one hell of a surprise from DIO on her 19th birthday.

*This is small foreshadowing to Mariah's and Kenny's relationship in CDDH lol

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo oc #oc #midler #midler jojo #mariah #mariah jojo #kenny g #kenny g jojo #dio brando #incorrect quotes #birthday

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cricketrocker · 2 years

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That Moment of Silence Between

Okay. I have decided to cancel my "True Confessions" series. That's my decision and there's not a rulebook by which anyone can call a penalty on that. I will tell you, however, that I still read the newspaper every morning. Yep, the real newspaper. Based on your age, world perspective, feelings about 5AM technology, etc.--you may be asking "What's a newspaper?" or "They still do that?" Yes, they do! I cannot even wake up early enough to see the paper-boy on his bicycle toss it over the Hell Bitch (that is still not quite fitting in the garage) and onto my sidewalk. But between 5:35 and 5:40AM every morning, I creep out my front door, pick up the paper, and scamper back into the house before joggers see me and my morning-hair.

I read all the paper. By "read" I mean that I generally parse headlines until I get to the comics. Then in the comics, there's this weird one I've started to read this year: "Judge Parker." In case you don't know--this is one of those "boring comics" that I'd never read until one day I did and never stopped. Judge Parker was a widower and a judget with two children, Randy and Ann. Later, Judge Parker married a younger woman, Kate. Initially he was a dashing figure who solved crimes and chased criminals, he kind of turned into a dull and serious judge who rarely strayed from his courtroom--and the strip began to transition away from the Judge and over to Sam Driver, a young attorney. I mean. I don't even know how Sam relates to Judge Parker. I couldn't tell you who Judge Parker was anymore. But anyway, there's a lot of drama. And today, Sam and Abbey are split up, their world is torn asunder and Abby says the above:

"...exist in that moment of silence between what was and what will be."

Silly Judge Parker. But not so silly today. What Abby said stuck with me as she described that place. That place between what was and what will be.

THAT PLACE BETWEEN WHAT IS AND WHAT WILL BE.

Okay--now I'm switching over to Top Gun: Maverick for a few minutes. Too close for missles, so I'm switching to guns. Ha ha. Mayday, mayday, Mav's in trouble, he's in a flat spin, he's headed out to sea. That's what Iceman said into the radio when Mav's F-14 flew right through Ice's jetwash. And the thing is, it was just a freak accident. But Mav's RIO (radar intercept officer) Goose hit his head on the canopy when ejecting, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So. Top Gun. Yeah. Remember how I'm sure I said something about how my parents never let me see any movies growing up? Top Gun was different. I was 12. My little brother was 8. My dad had been in the Navy. Not sure of all the backstory, but my dad took my brother and I to the Los Alatos movie theatre in Albuquerque to see Top Gun. I mean. Wow. WOW. That open scene and where the Top Gun anthem and all the jets and the fog and how it explodes into Kenny Loggins' DANGER ZONE. WOW. I'd gone to 12-year old heaven. But then when the profanity started flying and the TAKE MY BREATH AWAY SO MUCH TONGUE--I was suer that I was going to full time hell, and kept glancing over at my dad to notice him totally geeking out over the NAVY JETS, and then checked over at my brother to make sure his head was on fire, I settled in and Top Gun became my thing. I eventually bought it on VHS and made an audio recording of it on cassette for my Walkman. While other kids were playing real music, I was jamming out to just listening to the audio of Top Gun. I had the whole thing memorized. I was going to be a Naval Aviator. I don't know. Then when I was 13 we moved from Albuquerque to Texas.

Anyway. When I heard that Top Gun: Maverick was coming out way back in 2019 for summer 2020--I made plans with my dad (and brother) to go and see the sequel. How amazing and lucky it was/is to get that chance. But then COVID delay 1. Then COVID delay 2. Then FINALLY in May 2022, it happened. We saw it together, all the families were there. The genius innovation of reserved seats made the same row possible. Left work early. Met everyone there. Finally. And it was truly as good and actually much better than I'd thought possible. I sat until the very last second of the credits. No one else was left in that place. Went out to the lobby, hugged my brother and dad. It was a moment, truly. Sometimes you win, 36 years later. Lucky, blessed, charmed, whatever--it was a moment.

I'd see it as many more times as I can without being too weird and I guess soon it'll be streaming. But that's not why I bring it up. I bring it up because a cool thing happened--in July, I had to do something called The Predictive Index thing with HR. The Predictive Index is one of those new tools that help give you insight into yourself as a HUMAN, as an EMPLOYEE, and as a MANAGER or TEAM MEMBER. I'm in the process of doing this myself--but then also asking my team to do it so I can just be better. Hey, any insight is good insight? I guess? But when insight isn't good, maybe it can just be GREAT! I took this tool--which you fill out to measure your cognitive abilities, personality traits, and behavioral tendancies--and it said that I am a:

Right? Maybe this is the perfect tool. Or maybe I am. Whatever.

I'm not quite sure yet whether or not this is just kind of like a horoscope yet, because I haven't looked at what other people might be. But LOOK--the tool said I AM MAVERICK, and kind of hit the nail on the head with a few things. Even a jet, the F14 original Top Gun style and not the new F18 style--so maybe that is because I am an OLD Maverick. We'll see.

Maybe you probably won't be lucky enough to ever manage me, or manage anything for that matter, maybe you're a full-manager, maybe you're a freaking manager of managers, all you do is manage until you're blue in the face, but you should totaly take your PI and see if it somehow relates to your favorite movie or life or when you were 12.

Right now my favorite part of Top Gun: Maverick has to do with the character of Phoenix (pictured below). She is a badass and in one scene she has my favorite line of the whole movie. SPOILER ALERT--it happens when essentially Maverick has to STEAL A JET because he's just been fired so that he can prove to his mean John Hamm Admiral Boss that he is the best of the best and it really can be done--well he STEALS A JET and proves that miracles can happen--while he is doing it, right before he does it, they cut to Phoenix who says in the coolest voice ever, "Nice."

That's my point.

There's what happens in that moment between what has happened and what will happen. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck right there where anything is possible. Like the Lottery. Like when the missle that's going to blow your jet smithereens is fired and when it hits. Like the space between jump and gravity and impact--or flight. Like that little blink between laughter and tears. There's that moment.

"Nice."

Worth the price of admission, even 36 years later.

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