#Inspired by song Feel by Fletcher
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Medicine for my mind
(James Potter / Regulus Black | 997 words)
For @jegulus-microfic prompt: Potion
CW: underage drinking, bad coping mechanism
The silence that filled the room after the door closed behind James is deafening. Regulus was never an optimist, but when every bad scenario he ever could think of became true he found out there was a little hope in him after all. And now it’s gone. Regulus is pretty sure that losing hope is the worst feeling ever.
He sinks to his knees because there is no point in standing. He is done. He lost everything. And he isn’t even surpised. He always knew once he shows James his dark mark the boy will leave him. But seeing him actually walk out of the door destroyed him. It tore him open, leaving him bleeding alone in a cold room. And it’s all his fault.
Regulus waves his wand and summons a bottle of wine. He doesn’t even bother with getting glass. He just opens the bottle and drinks straight from it. “I’m sorry, Jamie.” He whispers and the only answer is the silence.
He can see the moment James finally realised Regulus was lost cause. He didn’t shout at him, he didn’t cry, he didn’t even talk. It was just a simple sentence I can’t Regulus. And with that, James walked out of the room and out of Regulus’ life. Regulus swings the bottle again drinking large gulps. The wine even though is expensive is tasteless in his mouth. It just burns.
It was only a matter of time before they would come to an end. There was never a different scenario for them. But to Regulus, the little time they had was everything. He only got taste of what it feels like to live. Not just surviving. And he doesn’t think he can go back to his old life. The bottle is empty, and Regulus opens another one. He drinks the wine like it’s medicine for his mind. Because the more he drinks the blurrier the world seems. The pain is still there, but instead of eating him alive, he feels like he is slowly drowning in oblivion.
“I’m so sorry.” He chatters over and over. “I was afraid. I’m sorry I was afraid, that I’m not as brave as Sirius.” His words are slurry, but it doesn’t matter. No one is listening anyway. These are just secret confessions that he never got to say out loud. “I wanted to be, you know? For you. But in the end, guess everybody was right. There is no point in trying to save a broken piece.”
His body is cold, and Regulus lost the only person who could ever warm him up. The bottle slips from his fingers and the red wine spills on the white carpet. Regulus doesn’t even bother to clean it. Nothing matters. He just opens another one determined to keep drinking until his mind shuts up.
He is lying on the floor curled up in a ball. “I just believed you for a moment. For one flattering shiny moment, I believed in a different ending. You once promised you would always be there for me.” Regulus wraps his arms around himself. He isn’t even angry with James for breaking the promise. He gave up on himself a long time ago. Sad acceptance filled his body. “I never got a chance to explain. But I guess it doesn’t matter in the end. I’m just so sorry.”
Regulus falls asleep alone on the cold floor surrounded by empty bottles and unfulfilled wishes.
~.~.~.~.~
James comes back to the room several hours later just to find this boy on the ground his body limp, the air filled with the smell of alcohol. It’s almost morning. James spent all night wandering around the castle trying to work this out. He didn’t want to leave his boyfriend alone last night, but he couldn’t stay there. It was too much. He picks up Regulus and lies him on a bed.
We are too young for this. We shouldn’t be dealing with it. We should be worried about exams and how to sneak into Hogsmeade. Not war. It’s not fair.
He wipes the tears from his eyes. Regulus stirs on the bed and opens his eyes. James can see the boy is still drunk. And considering the number of bottles on the ground he isn’t surprised.
“James?” Regulus whispers. And James’ heart breaks from the sadness in his voice. “at least I can see you like this.” James doesn’t understand, nothing makes sense. It all stopped making sense when he saw the mark on Regulus’ forearm.
“What do you mean like this?”
Regulus reaches up to him and the moment his fingertips touch his skin Regulus’ already red eyes swells with tear again. “You even feel like the real him too. I take it. If I can have you only in my dreams, I take it. Anything. Please just… I’m sorry that I wasn’t better.”
“We will fix it. I don’t know how but we will fix it.” James says.
Regulus smiles at him sadly. “Yeah, if you say so.”
James links their fingers together and it feels the same as yesterday. At least this is still theirs.
“My head is spinning,” Regulus whines and closes his eyes.
“Hold on,” James says quickly and summons a sobering Potion, that should help the younger boy. “Drink this and go to sleep.”
Regulus shakes his head. “I don’t want to go to sleep...” James’ heart aches from how defeated Regulus looks. “…not when you won’t be here when I wake up. I can’t do it.”
“I’ll be here. I promised, didn’t I?”
“You left. I let you down and you left.” Regulus whimper.
“I came back. I’m sorry, Reg.” There is no point in having a conversation right now. James shifts so he is lying on the bed and tugs Regulus towards him. “Sleep, I will wait, and we will talk in the morning.”
Regulus closes his eyes, the potion taking over. “I love you, James.” He whispers.
“I love you too.”
#Inspired by song Feel by Fletcher#this one is a little long#but it just took over me#i cried while writing this#I need to write some fluff next time#angst#sunseeker#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#jegulus#james potter x regulus black#jegulus microfic#marauders#marauders era#first wizarding war#kiwi2229 writes microfics
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𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔
𝑾𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒃𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆, 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓
𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓
𝑾𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒆'𝒅 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓
🎵
#sims#ts3#sims 3#photoshoots#character verse#emmelie hyun#taylor astra#so I reblogged that song prompt thing but decided I won't do it in order but instead just take vague inspiration from it#and this is how I came up with a lot of song edit ideas#this is supposed to represent the time when emmelie tries to erase taylor's memory and send her back to her world#but she remembers everything#and emmelie can't forget her either#there's a whole backstory to it which can be summed up by emmelie accidentally messing up things and contributing to her dad's disappearanc#when she went against the time rules to travel to the past to see her ex#and this is an additional layer to why she's afraid to fall in love and feels really guilty#also in the current version of this story taymelie are kind of the main focus#with also possible lydia/jin spotlight#milo and irene are just in the back chilling#maybe I'll write it someday and it won't be as cringe as the 2020 version lol#I was planning to do it in the future gen of the new fletcher chronicles but there's a loooooong way to go
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SAW BENDIGO FLETCHER LIVE 500 THOUSAND DEAD ALL OF SF INJURED
#THEU WERE SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD I DONT HAVE W O R D S THEY SOUNDED SO GOOD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3#they were unfirtunately the opening act to someone whose stuff i didn't end uo loving BUT OH MY GOD I SAW THEM IN LERSON AND MAIBE CRIED#MAYBE CRIED TWICE WHAT ABOUT IT#THEY PLAYED NO SMOKE A N D EVERGREEN A N D WONFERFULLY BIZARRE WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO. NOT CRY??????????? BE REAL. GROW UP.#FUCK im so :) happy :) i took so many videos and made my customary set list playlist so bow i uave something of a collection going :) :) :)#they Did play for less than an hour when they were acheduled for an hour and a half butnit was Very Close to being a full hour and mostly i#am happy i saw them at all :) their second time playing on the west coast and maybe next time theu'll headline their Own Tour and play for#a full hour or longer :) that is my one hope my dream :) god i love them so much can you tell#like. if i get a tattoo it will probably be bendigo fletcher inspired they are So part of the core of who i am and have been for? years?#for at least 5 years and they sound like home and warmth and all that is Good and they know what love Sounds Like In Words ! ! ! ! !#i cannot stress this enough go listen to 'wonderfully bizarre' Rifht The Fuck Now it makes me cry every timeee like no pressure but this#song is the closest descriptin i cab give of the inside if my chest. the inside of my ribs if that makes sense. this song lives in my heart#his voice was so /soft/ and so /airy and light/ and he didn't belt live but he didn't Need to and i couldn't hear a word he said <3#AND I MADE A FRIEND OH MY GOD LILY I LOVE YOUUUUUUU ART MAJOR LILY I LOVE AND ADORE YOU#they were Also only there for bendigo fletcher and didn't know who the hwadliner was either and We Got Shirts i have a fucking Shirt Now :)#<- i need tou to understand how manic the last :) looks/feels i am about to chew through my door :))))))))))))))#anyway peace and love on planet earth brought to you by bendigo fletcher and bendigo fletcher ONLY <3 good night <3#bendigo fletcher
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Bitter
Summary: While dating Gary, Melissa found out about your new relationship that leaves her...bitter.
Note: I wrote this on a whim after listening to the song. I kept thinking this in my head and needed to write it out. Not Beta'd. I hope you enjoy
Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader (gender neutral)
Warning: angst, mentions of alcohol towards the end
This is inspired by the song Bitter by FLETCHER, Kito
WC: 1.1k
Melissa sat at her desk, her manicured fingers tapping rhythmically on the wooden desk as she stared down at her phone. She was debating whether or not to send you a text. You both used to text constantly, sharing jokes, memes, little flirty quips, basically anything and everything. But lately, she noticed that once she and Gary started dating the messages had dwindled to almost nothing. They would still message but it wasn’t the same.
A badge pops up on her phone, y/n just posted a new photo. Melissa hesitated but then she opened the app and a small gasp escaped her lips. A photo of you looking out of frame in mid laugh with the caption, ‘best part of my week are lunch dates with you’. Melissa’s eyes darted up and she noticed that it was y/n’s girlfriend that posted it, some collaboration thing. She’s posting on your instagram now? You’re usually private. Whatever that means she can’t remember what Jacob taught her.
She slammed the phone screen down and covered her face then leaned back in her chair. She glanced up, her eyes inadvertently drawn to the clock on the wall. You would be arriving any minute now, probably hand in hand with the new girlfriend, the one Melissa had heard so much about but never wanted to meet. It all started innocently enough. Melissa and you had always shared a flirtatious rapport, a connection that danced on the line between friendship and something more. Yet, both knew that Melissa was with Gary, and you seemed content with the casual dynamic.
However, when you introduced your new girlfriend to everyone one lunch period, everything changed. Melissa hadn't anticipated the tidal wave of emotions that would crash over her upon seeing you together. It was a bitter pill to swallow, witnessing you with someone else, someone who now occupied the space that Melissa had temporarily claimed.
She sighed and slipped her phone back into her pocket, trying to shake off the feeling of disappointment that lingered like a heavy cloud over her thoughts. you had been her confidante, her partner in crime, even though they had always maintained a flirtatious friendship. But now, with you dating someone new, everything felt different. Though the mature part of her knew that she had no right to feel like this. She was dating Gary afterall and for the most part the relationship was great.
As if on cue, the school entrance door swung open, you and your girlfriend walked hand in hand heading to the teacher’s lounge. Melissa saw them walk in the room and she couldn't help but notice the way your gaze lingered on your new girlfriend, the adoration evident in every glance.
She forced herself to focus on the salad she brought for lunch, burying herself in her phone, finding anything to distract herself from the ache in her chest. But no matter how hard she tried, the laughter and banter that flowed easily between you and your girlfriend, every word felt like a knife twisting in her heart.
She stole a glance at you and your new girlfriend, her stomach churning at the sight. You were so happy, seem so in love, and Melissa couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. She had thought she was enough for y/n, and had convinced herself that their friends with benefits arrangement was all they needed and no harm done when she decided to date Gary. She forgot the part that y/n wouldn’t be waiting around until she was single. But now, seeing you with someone else, it was like a slap in the face, a reminder of her own mistake.
She would catch herself looking at her phone waiting for a reply or a text from you, when there was a notification it turned out to be from either her mom or Kristen Marie. She knew she shouldn't care, shouldn't let your new relationship affect her the way it did. But no matter how hard she tried to rationalize her feelings, she couldn't escape the hurt, the sense of betrayal that gnawed at her from the inside out. Jacob walked in and was playing a song on his phone, a song you remember well.
The memories flooded back, overwhelming her senses as a familiar song filled the air. It was their song, the one they used to dance to in your living room, the one that had always made Melissa feel like this could be something more. But now, it felt like a cruel reminder of everything she had lost.
Melissa forced herself to smile through the tears that threatened to spill over, pretending that she was fine when all she wanted to do was run away and never look back. She felt like a spectator in her own life, watching as you and your girlfriend laughed and joked, wondering if she would ever feel like she belonged again.
She glanced up again, her eyes locking with yours across the room. For a moment, it felt like time stood still, like they were the only two people in the world. But then you gave her a soft smile until you looked away, your attention already drifting back to her, leaving Melissa back to her thoughts.
Lunch breaks at work became torturous affairs, filled with forced smiles and polite conversation on the days that your girlfriend would visit for lunch. Melissa couldn't escape the feeling of being on the outside looking in, forever excluded from the intimate bond that you now shared with someone else.
Even social gatherings with their mutual friends became bittersweet occasions. Melissa watched as you and your girlfriend mingled and started to really integrate with the group. She longed for the days when she and you had been the ones sharing secret smiles and stolen glances. Jacob had suggested that everyone should meet up for drinks after a hectic week of testing. Everyone agreed and it was one of the rare moments that everyone was in one place outside of work.
Gary and Gerald were in the midst of a conversation while Barbara was telling Melissa about their upcoming plans for Sunday brunch. Yet her gaze went over to the younger group of teachers, forced to watch as you and your girlfriend danced in the middle of the packed bar with eyes so warm looking at each other in an embrace while Jacob and Janine were there recording the interaction. She saw as you held a glass of whiskey you started raising it for a toast with Gregory when he arrived. And in that moment, Melissa knew that no matter how hard she tried to push her feelings away, no matter how much she pretended to be okay, the bitterness would always linger, a constant reminder of what she had lost. Yeah she’s bitter.
#melissa schemmenti#melissa schemmenti x oc#melissa schemmenti x reader#melissa schemmenti x you#abbott elementary
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If You're Gonna Lie...
Summary: Y/N and Dean have been seeing each other for quite a while, but when Dean keeps disappearing on Y/N, it leaves her confused on where they stand. Dean, not wanting to give away his secret line of work, continues to lie to Y/N about why he keeps showing up late. When she confronts him, will he continue to lie or will he tell her the truth?
A/N: This is a fic inspired by the song If You're Gonna Lie by Fletcher
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: mild language, alcohol mentioned, implied infidelity, sex mentioned, slight angst, relationship conflict
Y/N's eyes stare blankly at the lipstick stained wine glass on the table in front of her. In the pit of her stomach brews regret and shame that she had spent all damn day preparing dinner and picking out a wine for Dean's seven o'clock arrival. Now at ten she sits alone with untouched plates and an empty bottle of wine.
The ticking of the clock mocks her, reminding her of the little voice inside of her that screamed not to trust him. Tightening her lips, she licks them, collecting the final drops of wine that replace the red lipstick she had been wearing. Her body buzzes in a Merlot induced high so she places her hand on the table to steady herself as she stands. She collects the plates and glasses slowly, fighting the urge to shatter them across the floor.
Her nose crinkles as she scrapes the cold food into the trash aggressively with her fork. She sets the dishes into the dishwasher and starts it before swaying over to sit on the couch. Pulling out her phone she types a message about not appreciating being stood up for the fourth fucking time, but she deletes it and swipes down to click on the location icon.
She scoffs with a smile of disbelief, "oh, great! A motel near the strip club!" Y/N chucks her phone at the carpet before bringing her hands up to her face as soft sobs rock her body. She feels herself sinking more and more into the leather couch as she cries, and she must've dozed off at some point because she's jolted awake by a knock on the door.
The pounding of her heart is all she can hear as she quickly wipes her face. She's slow to bring herself to her feet, and once she does she glances at the clock. She groans. Midnight. Great. She thinks, rolling her eyes.
There's another knock, more anxious and loud now. "Hold on!" she shouts, using the furniture to keep her steady as she walks towards the banging.
Her head falls back against her neck when she sees Dean through the peephole. She lets out a soft, quiet breath and brings her head back up, resting her forehead in her hand. Her eyes close tight and she debates whether or not to let him in. He knocks again, more aggressively now.
She growls, shaking her hands out next to her. Suddenly, her ears ring and she swears she could even hear the buzzing of the lights above her. She takes another deep breath as she slowly unlocks the chain. She moves down to unlock the door, and then rests her hand on the door knob for a moment.
With a hand on her hip, she whips the door open and tries to make it very clear to Dean that she's pissed, but damnit she'd be lying if she said she wasn't excited to see him.
"Y/N! Thank you, I am so sorry!" he says, holding up his hands. There’s a slight bend to his knees as if to make him appear smaller. His eyebrows furrow, enhancing the shallow wrinkles on his forehead. She knows he's just going to feed her another story, and she stopped believing them a while ago, but she'd rather hear his lies than to have to hear him say goodbye.
So she says nothing, but leaves the door open as she turns around to walk back to her living room. He rushes in after her, closing the door behind him. When she plops onto the couch, he drops next to her, hands on her knees as he faces her.
"Y/N, please let me explain," he pleads, and she shrugs for him to go ahead, "I was shooting the shit with the guys at this bar, and," he starts.
"Let me guess, 'time just slipped away from you', right?" Y/N scoffs, her cheeks and jaw tighten as she fights the tears that plead to be released.
His face relaxes, and he swallows hard before allowing his mouth to hang open slightly. "Yeah," he says softly.
"You know, Dean," she says, and he focuses intently on her face, lit partially by the TV. His eyes flutter between hers, the way the light glimmers in her eyes nearly distracts him from her words, "you're starting to get repetitive," she says, eyes trained to the floor.
His body tenses, and his lips form a flat line. "Yeah," he nods. "I know. And I’m sorry," he says.
There's a long pause between them as she collects her conflicted thoughts; on the one hand, better late than never but on the other, she knows he's lying and that kind of pain cuts deep.
"Are you?" she squeaks out before she can stop herself, eyes darting at him. "Cause you say you were out with friends, but I know you were with another girl."
"What are you talking about,Y/N?" he says, eyes squinting. “I’m only seeing you.”
Y/N rolls her eyes, heat filling her chest, "I checked your location, but good fucking try." She takes in a deep breath. "I don't wanna fight, Dean," she slurs, "can we just lay down?"
Dean pushes his hands onto his thighs to bring himself to his feet, looking down at her for a moment before holding his hand out to her.
"Come on," he says gingerly. When she places her hand in his, he helps her to her feet, "get your shoes on," he adds.
"What? Why?" she asks, wide eyes.
With raised eyebrows, he sighs, "because I wanna show you something."
----
Y/N sits in the passenger seat of Dean's Impala with her arms crossed for the entirety of their near silent drive. She watches the window fog as Dean slows to round the corner of the motel parking lot.
"This where you saw me? My location?" he asks.
Uncrossing her arms, Y/N winds around in the seat to look for the strip club, falling back in her seat when she spots it, "yup."
Turning off the engine, he rolls out of the car and jogs to her side to help her out. Dean guides her to the door and Y/N feels like her heart could jump out of her chest. She listens to the howl of the wind as he inserts the key. When he opens the door, she immediately sees a tall, dark haired man in the room. Confused, she looks over at Dean.
"This is my brother, Sam," he says quickly, placing a hand on the small of her back to guide her into the room. "And, uh," he closes the door behind him, quickly raising his eyebrows at Sam's perplexed expression. "We have a pretty… ridiculous job," he adds.
She squints one eye, "Yeah, I remember you telling me that, but you wouldn't tell me what the job is," she snaps.
"Yeah," Sam says, shutting his book with one hand, holding the other out with a finger pointed at his brother, "and for good reason.” Dean brushes him off with a wave of his hand. "Dean, what are you doing?" Sam forces a quick, curt smile at Y/N, and takes a few steps closer to him, "can I talk to you? Outside," he says through gritted teeth.
Dean turns the corners of his lips down and shakes his head. He couldn't bear to see Y/N as hurt as she was tonight, and knowing that it was because of him and his lies made him realize he needed to come clean. And if that meant she thought he was crazy and never wanted to see him again, well... at least she would finally have the truth.
Taking her hands in his, he guides her to the bed and gestures for her to sit. He glances over at Sam, who utters under his breath "this better be worth it." Dean shrugs before sitting on the bed across from her, ignoring its whine under his weight.
"Listen Y/N, the truth is that Sam and I are-" he stops, shaking his head as he looks down into his folded hands. The leaky faucet from the bathroom drips a few times before he carries on, "listen, this is gonna sound nuts, so I need you to just... just hear me out, please."
She nods, "okay..."
He lets out a shaky breath, "ghosts, demons, vampires... it's all real," he begins, watching her face carefully for any signs of disgust or fear, "and the short story is that Sam and I... we, uh... we hunt and kill them."
Y/N's silent for a while, not exactly sure how to take this so-called confession. As far as she's concerned it's yet another lie. She glances over at Sam and he looks down at the ground, his face scrunched in a frown.
"Is this true?" she asks Sam, and his eyes dart at Dean and then her.
He brings a hand to his mouth, sweeping it down and around his bottom lip. He sighs, throwing his hands out and sits on the bed next to Dean. "Yeah, 'fraid so," he says.
Turning her attention to Dean now, she says, "so... what, you drive around the country fighting bad guys with your brother like some fucking superhero and come into my town when you want... what, a good fuck or something?"
Dean scoots closer to Y/N, grabbing her hands in his, "no, no, no. It's nothing like that," he pauses, "I mean, we do drive around the country ‘fighting bad guys’, I guess but..." he stalls again, trying to find the right words.
"Well, what is it like, then? Because this feels like it’s either an elaborate way of trying to get rid of me, or you're trying to manipulate me into being okay with the way things have been so far. And I'm not. I need someone who's going to show up on time. Someone who won't lie to me."
"I swear to you, the lies are over," Dean pleads. "At least let me prove it to you."
"How? How're you gonna do that?" Y/N asks, arms crossed.
Dean glances at Sam, begging for his help with his eyes. Sam rolls his eyes, boots clacking against the hardwood floor as he walks over to grab the book he'd been reading.
He takes it to sit back down with Dean and Y/N. He flips the book around to show Y/N the page he was on, and his voice echoes in the room as he explains the monster they're hunting and how it's about an hour south of her town, but Dean wanted to stop by to see Y/N first.
Y/N's hesitant, but not willing to lose Dean, not yet, so she takes the chance. "You're not in the clear yet, Dean, but I'm tired and I just wanna go to bed. Can I sleep here and we'll figure the rest out in the morning?"
"Yeah, of course," he says, bringing himself to his feet, "uh, you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."
"No. If you're gonna lie, at least do it in the bed."
~~~
If you liked my story, please remember to heart, comment or reblog. Or if you'd like, you can add yourself to a tag list here if you wish :) Thank you for reading!! :)
Everything Tags<3
@waywardblueshun @81mysteriouslyme @drakelover78 @soab1967 @shutupandfeedmethings @pollywantacracker666 @sonnierae26 @obsessed5sosfreak @tlovescoffee @noodledoodlebug @hobby27 @cluz1babe @emptycanvasposts @suckmyapplejacks @sigrunsavestheday @flamencodiva @roseblue373
Dean <3
@akshi8278 @squirrelnotsam @laxe-from-outer-space @ellewritesfix05 @cluz1babe @lyarr24 @mrspeacem1nusone @idksupernaturl @fandom-princess-forevermore @stoneyggirl @chaospossum
#dean winchester#reader x dean winchester#female reader x dean#supernatural#supernatural fic#dean winchester angst#spn#supernatural fandom#supernatural fan fic#fanfic#dean angst#3rd person pov
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Friday Night Moonlight
for @roosterforme 's rocktober event!!
pairing: robert 'bob' floyd x reader (slight high school au)
characters: bob floyd, reader (nickname dolly), beckett fletcher, misc high school kids
warnings: language, cheating, high school drama, pining, best friends to sorta lovers, the ending may be rushed, there's a kiss, fighting, toxic boyfriend, please let me know if i missed anything
word count: ~4.5k
a/n: the song that inspired this is the nitty gritty dirt band's fishin' in the dark, and taylor swift's you belong with me music video (she was born in the 80's 😅)
em, i want to apologize for getting this up so late! i got bogged down with whumptober, but i'm here!
summary: having been best friends since childhood, bob knows just what you need to feel better after a nasty break up
You and Bob had been neighbors your entire life. Your bedroom window had been right across from his since you were both toddlers and you played in your backyards while your parents drank coffee or watched the football games on Saturdays.
Also, you and Bob both had cousins that participated in Friday night events so you often played in the grass, completely ignoring the game and just enjoying getting to stay up past your bedtime. You even wrote notes in sketchbooks and talked through your windows when you were supposed to be in bed.
And even now, in your senior year of high school, you still did that.
Talking through your windows like you were passing notes in class, which you also did and you never once got caught.
You also got to see parts of each other you never let your parents see, and never spoke about outside of your sketchbooks.
The sad parts, the angry parts, all of it stayed on pieces of paper, hidden between two pieces of cardboard and bound together with flimsy metal spirals.
Until tonight…
Bob glanced up from his homework, looking towards your window to check on you and your AP Calculus homework.
But all he found was you on your feet, pacing around your room as you heatedly spoke into your phone, unoccupied arm flailing about as you argued with whoever was on the other end. It was no doubt your boyfriend.
Ah yes… Your boyfriend, the star running back on the football team — Beckett Fletcher.
Bob and Beckett weren’t the fondest of each other. Bob knew you deserved better and Beckett was threatened by your childhood best friend. But they tried their best to not let you catch on, sending one another looks when you weren’t paying attention.
But Bob wanted to tell you to leave, tell you that Beckett is no good for you. Because if Bob ever saw you on your phone and you were either crying or angry… chances were it was Beckett on the other end of the line.
And Bob despised it.
Ever since you were children, Bob never liked to see you sad. He always found a way to cheer you up, whether it was getting you to laugh or just simply distracting you with a cartoon and cuddles on the couch.
He found a way to take your pain away.
Watching you intensely as you talked, Bob was already reaching for his sketchbook.
Once you threw the phone on your bed and you sat at your desk by the window, you looked up and saw that Bob had a note ready. The letter’s scribbled across reading, “what’s wrong?” rather than what they usually read which was “are you okay?”
Man… you really needed to shut your curtain when you’re on the phone with Beckett.
You didn’t like Bob seeing the faults in your relationship, seeing that the foundation was cracked just so he could tell you it was a bad investment because of the unstable ground.
You were trying so hard to keep this relationship standing, it was the only way to get over your feelings for your best friend, to forget the piece of paper you tucked away in your night stand 6 years ago… but Beckett was making it really hard.
And now you were really debating if staying with him was worth it… and Bob could see it.
Sighing, you picked up your own sketchbook and thick Sharpie, writing your message down before flipping it to show him.
“drama, i’m just sick of it”
You were lucky that Bob couldn’t see your tears through the glass and you tried your best to keep it hidden from him by not letting your shoulders move as you silently cried.
Bob frowned, he wasn’t aware of any drama at the school. And being the fly on the wall he tends to be, he knows a lot of the drama. So this was clearly a sign that this was internal in your relationship and exclusive to locker room and cheer practice talk, which he was not privy to as he was in band – a percussionist no less, they had their own things going on.
But even still, you liked to share your drama with him, sitting in the backyard while your parents watched the Sooners play on Saturday night. It was y’all’s thing, but over the past few weeks you never shared cheer drama with him and you both just chatted about what you both knew and then changed the subject completely to something else.
He knew something was wrong but… this wasn’t something you talk about over notes through a window, and you looked… tired.
So he gave you a sympathetic look and apologized, not happy that you just shrugged it off and gave him a less than convincing smile. But you were quick to throw up a ‘goodnight’ note, closing your curtain when you saw his note.
Bob frowned and looked at his drawer, pondering about the note left in there… a note he wrote a while back that he was too scared to show you.
Meanwhile, you turned your lamp off and collapsed into your bed, holding a stuffed bunny to your chest as you sobbed into your pillow.
Tomorrow wasn’t gonna be fun.
The next morning, you woke up looking like death hit you with a fighter jet.
You had fierce under eye bags and your cheeks were blotchy and red. Your upper lip and nose were raw from both your hand rubbing it and the tissues that were never as gentle as they claimed.
Groaning, you did your best to cover it up, using the proper techniques your mother taught you to use with her estheticians license. You had to look put together for tonight because it was Friday and you had a home football game against one of your biggest rivals.
After your makeup was done and your hair was in dutch braids, a bow securing them together at the base of your neck with your ends curled in tight waves, you put your long sleeve uniform on. It was going to cool off once the sun went down so you needed to be prepared.
And after all that was said and done, you bid your parents a goodbye before walking out to meet Beckett at the curb so he can take you to school.
You had your license, but you didn’t have a car just yet so Bob had offered to take you to school and he did until you started dating Beckett and then you rode with him instead.
Except, you didn’t walk out with a smile on your face or that “cheerleader pep” in your step this time. No, because after your argument with him, you truly weren’t sure if he was even going to be outside this time or not.
And to your disappointment but not disbelief… your boyfriend wasn’t there.
But Bob was… your best friend was there, he was always there.
“Hey, Y/N! Do you need a lift? I’ve got plenty of room.”
Hearing his voice in person was a bigger relief than you thought it was going to be. It was soothing for you, and you felt a gentle smile form on your face.
Instead of answering right away you walked over to him, prompting him to walk and meet you halfway.
“How are you doing? That conversation looked pretty heated…”
While his tone was gentle, Bob’s words were straight to the point. He knew that whatever was said had a great effect on you and a simple night’s sleep wouldn’t magically fix it all.
“I’m okay. Just a dumb fight. It’s probably just his nerves, tonight is a big game and he’s got a lot riding on his shoulders,” you said, acceptance in your voice as you didn’t meet your best friend’s eyes.
Bob hated that. Hated the excuse you made for Beckett. Hated that you kept giving him the benefit of the doubt instead of just accepting that he was a shitty boyfriend.
You had been getting into more fights lately and you were either blaming yourself or excusing Beckett’s faults for the fact he was stressed out.
Even if he was stressed, Bob wouldn’t ever make you feel like this. He would never make you feel like this, period, he loved you too much.
“Are you sure? You seem to be having a lot of fights the past few weeks, does it have to do with the drama you told me about?”
The way you sucked in a breath and played with the bottom of your uniform skirt told him all he needed to know.
“Dolly…”
Your head whipped up at the mention of your childhood nickname. Bob had given it to you because you carried around your bunny doll everywhere when you were little. He rarely used it anymore, so when he did – he was being serious.
“Bobby look I-”
Suddenly a car pulled up, “Hey babe, sorry I’m late.”
You looked over, seeing Beckett, “It’s alright Beck.” You looked at Bob, “I’ll see you later. Bye.” Bob waved, “See you later, Y/N.”
Beckett sent Bob a glare as you got in the passenger seat before driving off as soon as your door was closed. Bob just rolled his eyes and huffed before getting in his car.
“So, what were you and Bob talking about before I pulled up?” Beckett asked as he drove away. You shrugged and buckled your seat belt, “It was nothing Beck.” He huffed a little, “Sure it was.”
You scoffed but just shook your head and rested your hand on your fist.
Beckett had really been bugging you about Bob lately. Asking you questions all the time. Accusing you of being with Bob when you missed a call.
You knew him and Bob didn’t get along. But he had rarely ever accused you of having feelings towards him until recently. It was completely random because it came out of nowhere. It was causing so many fights and the stress was blowing small things way out of proportion.
It was killing your relationship.
The school day went by fairly quickly. It usually did on Fridays because a pep-rally in the middle of the day usually made the second half go by faster.
Most students went home to get ready for the game, maybe changing an outfit or doing makeup touch ups before coming back to the stadium. But not everyone did. The kids participating in the night’s activities, the football players, cheerleaders, and band members, stayed on campus or close to it so they weren’t late. Usually just going to grab a bite to eat or just hang out until it was time.
Bob usually went with you to go eat and hangout before you got with Beckett. But now he just chilled in the percussion room and practiced until he needed to get ready.
He tried to tune out the color guard next door, not real keen on listening in to their drama. But this time, something piqued his interest.
“Oh my gosh, you’re kidding! There’s no way!” Mariah yelled, her voice going through the thin walls.
“Apparently so, it’s sad honestly. And Tamara knows that he’s still with Y/N!” Paige exclaimed.
That. That statement was what really got Bob’s attention.
Tamara was on the dance team, going there after not making it on the cheer squad. She had never been mean to you per say but it was pretty clear that she wasn’t your biggest fan.
And now it seems like she went straight for the throat and was keen on making your life hell your final year of high school.
“I know, and Y/N doesn’t even know… I hope she finds out soon or Beckett actually breaks up with her first. She’s clearly taking it hard.”
“They fight all the damn time, of course she’s not okay, Mariah.”
Bob clenched his fist, he was seething.
This, this was the drama you were talking about and this was the reason Beckett kept picking fights with you.
He shook his head and pulled out his phone, he needed to talk to you.
You sat in the field house, smiling at Beckett as he drummed on your thigh.
You both managed to make up before the game. Apologies on both sides and spending time together to really talk it out. So, now you both could focus on the game and not worry about your relationship.
“Fletch, c’mon, we gotta go get dressed,” Taylor, Beckett’s best friend said, not looking at you as he pointed to the locker room. Beckett nodded and kissed your cheek where his number was temporarily tattooed on your cheek, “I gotta go baby.” You nodded and kissed his lips, “Good luck, Beck.”
You smiled at Taylor and walked over to the cheerleaders.
“Dude, you have to tell her. Or I’ll tell her,” you overheard Taylor whispering. “Taylor, chill out. Everything’s fine.”
You feel your heart drop, thoughts filling your mind before you shake them away.
“Yeah Tamara told me-” Megan started before Jayme cut her off. “Girl, shut up.” “Why? I thought you wanted to talk about her and B-”
“Hey, Y/N, I see that you and Beckett are getting along again,” Kaitlyn said, once again cutting Megan off.
You nodded, “Yeah, we had a decent conversation, talked a lot of things out. Still not smooth, but less rough than before.” Alicia nodded with a smile, “That’s good.”
You nodded again and then your phone went off with a text.
Meet me in the band room parking lot by my car. There’s something I need to tell you.
You sucked in a breath, “Hey, guys, I’ll um, I’ll be right back.” “Okay, practice can’t start without you. Don’t keep us waiting,” JJ said with a teasing smile. You rolled your eyes playfully, “I shouldn’t be too long.”
You jogged out of the fieldhouse and down to the parking lot where Bob’s car was.
Bob was leaning on the hood when you got to him.
“Hey, what did you-”
“Beckett’s cheating on you.”
You stopped dead in your tracks. Your heart was practically pounding in your ears now.
“W-what?”
He stepped towards you and gently grabbed your arms as he looked down. “Beckett’s cheating on you with Tamara. Mariah and Paige were talking about it in the band room… I’m so sorry Y/N…”
You blinked at him before shaking your head and pushing him off of you, “No… No, you’re wrong. You’re lying.” You backed away from him, still shaking your head. “You’re supposed to be my friend. Why are you lying to me? Beckett wouldn’t–” Bob stepped forward desperately trying to get you to listen to him but you stepped back with your arms outstretched, “Don’t touch me.”
Bob's face fell, “Dolly… please. You have to believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you about this.���
You shook your head, “He wouldn’t do that!” “I’m not lying! I heard them talking about it!” Bob defended, honestly feeling hurt that you thought he would do that to you.
You throw your arms up, the words you overheard in the fieldhouse flooding your mind and the things Beckett had said about Bob before.
“Look, Robert,” you hissed and began to talk with your hands. “I get that you might be jealous of Beckett, but lying to me and saying shit like this won’t help you.”
Your stomach churned nauseously as the venom slipped back down your own throat as Bob’s anger shifted into hurt and betrayal behind his lenses. You had never believed the words you just spat at him. Never once did you think that Bob would lie to you because he was jealous. He had never done it before, so why would he do it now?
But you were conflicted and you were hurt. You felt embarrassed that it seemed everyone knew what was going on in your relationship and you didn’t. You felt used and gullible.
You knew you were misplacing your hurt and anger. Bob was just trying to help. But you had made up with Beckett and it all felt right again, Bob just happened to be the one that took off your rose tinted glasses.
But before you could rectify yourself, Bob clicked his tongue and hung his head as he rested his hands on his hips.
“You wanna be like that? Fine. Be like that, don’t believe me,” he shook his head and dropped his hands to his side. “You know where to find me when it crashes down on top of you.”
All you could do was cross your arms and look down at your white cheer shoes, which only made him scoff before he shook his head again. His shoulder collided with yours as he walked past, knocking you off your footing a little before going back inside the bad room.
You could only sniffle before shaking your head and walking up to the field house.
The game was finally over.
Your team won with, you guessed it, Beckett scoring the winning touchdown.
You and Bob had just been thrumming with nerves the whole game. Bob was worried about you and he felt bad for just leaving you like he had instead of giving you a minute to process. But he guesses you were both acting off emotions.
You were anxious because you knew that other shoe had to drop. You just wanted to catch it before it landed on your heart.
And even though they won, you still were anxious as you ran out onto the football field.
“Beck! Beck! Beckett!” Taylor tried to fast walk by you as you tried to find your boyfriend. “Hey, Taylor,” you caught his arm. “Where’s Beckett?” Taylor looked down at you sympathetically before you watched his eyes flicker back the direction he came, “Y/N… I’m so sorry…”
You furrowed your brow and he sighed before gently turning you.
And the other shoe dropped…
It dropped and sent 15 cleat studs into your heart.
There in the endzone was none other than Beckett Fletcher and Tamara Wilson making out like they had been dating for a year.
“I tried Y/N… I’m so sorry…”
You sniffled and looked down at your grass stained cheer shoes, “Yeah because sorry is gonna fix the fact your sister is making out with my boyfriend…” Tears finally slipped down your face. “You know what, you can break up with him for me… I need to leave.”
Pulling your arm from his grip, you turned to go to the track and get your bag.
“Y/N wait–”
“Taylor, I-I can’t right now okay? I just… I need to go be with someone I wholeheartedly trust right now.”
You sniffled before wiping at your nose and running back towards the track.
Bob sighed and walked out of the band room and towards his car. He was ready to go home and just shower off the day and sleep.
Taking a deep breath, he unlocked his car and opened the door.
And he saw the last thing he expected to see.
You.
You were curled up in the front seat of his car, with a mirror in hand scrubbing at your cheek with a McDonald’s napkin as you sobbed. He could see you practically shivering still being in your uniform that provided no warmth at all.
He knew why you were there and he wasn’t gonna say a damn thing. He knew better than to say I told you so or anything because that was shitty of him.
You needed a friend, you needed him.
So, he got in and shut his door. “I have sweatpants in the backseat,” he said lowly as he started the car. “And a hoodie.”
You sniffled and hiccuped a little, “Please…” He nodded and turned in his seat to get them from under his backpack. “Here ya go Dolly,” he said softly as he handed the items to you.
You put your mirror down and wiped at your raw, damp cheek to wipe away both tears and any remainder of that tattoo. You had taken your shoes off when you got in, so you just slipped the sweats on before wiggling your skirt down your legs.
Wadding it up, you threw it in the backseat before practically ripping your bow out and doing the same.
Bob just watched, patiently waiting on you and letting you collect yourself.
“Robby I…” You started before a new wave of tears hit and you started sobbing into your hands.
He frowned, hating the sound of you crying. But he didn’t want to attempt to coax anything out of you just yet, wanting you to just let it out.
Gently, Bob turned you around so your back faced him. He carefully untied your ponytail before using his dexterous fingers to undo your braids. He gently massaged your head, knowing that it was a good way to calm you down.
Your sobs lessened to smaller whimpers and sniffles as he massaged the areas where you were sensitive, soothing you slowly.
He smiled a little as you turned to face him.
“Robby, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You were just trying to help… I didn’t believe what I said about you being jealous. I’m sorry I said it.”
You wrapped your arms around him and he immediately reciprocated. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. I should have been more patient, and maybe I should have been more gentle with it.” You sniffled into his shoulder, “I deserved it… I shouldn’t have–”
“No, no, Dolly, we’re not doing that. We’ve both acknowledged what we shouldn’t have done. We can work past it, because that’s what we do. We work together.” You nodded, “You’re right, you’re right.”
You pulled back and wiped your eyes, giggling a little when he held the hoodie out to you. You took it, trying to ignore the butterflies as your fingers brushed his and the scent of his body spray surrounding you as slipped the hoodie on. “Thank you, Robby.”
He smiled at you, “Of course. Now let’s go, I’m sure we can hang out in the living room and watch your comfort movies.” You giggled, “You always know how to cheer me up.”
“I’ve known you for 13 years, I’d hope so,” he chuckled as he started driving out of the parking lot. You smiled over at him before resting your head against the window and closing your eyes as he turned the radio up a little more.
Bob nodded his head as he turned down your road, drumming the steering wheel as he listened to the radio.
“You and me go fishin' in the dark. Lyin' on our backs and countin' the stars. Where the cool grass grows,” he sang quietly to himself. “Down by the river in the full moonlight. We'll be fallin' in love in the middle of the night. Just movin' slow. Stayin' the whole night through. It feels so good to be with you.”
He glanced over at you where you dozed off against the window.
This was one of your favorite songs and normally you’d be banging his dashboard in a slightly off beat rhythm but he’d let it slide because you were so excited to hear the song.
He hummed along as he got close to your homes. But as he began to slow down he got an idea.
So, instead of stopping, Bob drove past your houses and headed towards one of your favorite spots to go to clear your head.
Bob pulled up to and parked his car before getting out and going over to your side of the car.
He carefully opens the door and you jerk awake.
“Ah! What the– Bobby, what’s going on?” You asked groggily as you rubbed your eyes.
“I took a detour. I figured you could use a late night trip to our spot,” he said with a playful smile. You gave him a tired smile, “Oh Bobby… thank you.” “Course, now c’mon.”
You giggled, “I can’t wear my cheer shoes, they’ll get dirty.” He grinned and opened the backdoor. “Well, it just so happens that last time we were here, you left your Converses back here.”
Your jaw dropped, “I have been looking for these! And you mean to tell me that you’ve been keeping my shoes hostage!” He chuckled and knelt down to put them on your feet.
Heat rose to your cheeks as he did, the action reminding you of when you were both little and you dressed up as a princess all the time and he happily played your knight. “How could you Bobby Floyd?”
“Oh hush,” he laughed as he tied them before helping you up. “Okay, let’s go.” You giggled as you closed the door and followed him to the river side.
You smiled at him as you both laid down. “C,mere Dolly,” he said as he pulled you into his side.
Smiling wider, you laid your head on his chest and sighed a little bit. “Thank you Robby, this really is what I needed.” He gently scratched your back, “I’m glad I could help.” You looked up at him, “My knight…” You trailed off as his moonlit baby blue eyes made eye contact with yours.
Almost as if you were both on autopilot, you propped yourself up on your elbow and he cupped your cheek. Before either of you realized what was happening, your lips met.
This kiss was sweet and gentle, but it sucked the breath out of your lungs all the same.
It felt like you were connected forever, but when you pulled away it didn’t feel long enough.
Bob had turned bright pink and immediately began to apologize, “I-I– oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have–”
“Robby, Robby!” You cut him off by covering his mouth. “Hey, it’s okay. I kissed you back… I liked it… a lot.”
He relaxed under your hand at your words and you think he’s gonna say something but he licks your hand. “Oh gross! I was trying to be sweet and you licked me!” You wiped your hand on the hoodie he was wearing.
Bob chuckled, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He held your wrist gently as he sobered up, “I liked it too. But… I think we should wait, just because I want to make sure you’re ready…” You nodded, “I know, thank you.” You smiled and pecked his cheek.
Laying beside him, you laced your fingers with his and rested your other hand on your stomach as you looked at the sky.
He smiled at you and watched your smile widened as you pointed to the clear night sky, counting the stars and pointing out constellations.
The sight made Bob think back to the note in his desk drawer and a smile split his features.
The note has waited 6 years, it can wait a little while longer.
hi, hello, thank you all for reading and making it to the end! i hope you enjoyed! and i'm so sorry this is late
top gun taglist <33: @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @sebsxphia @nobody7102 @djs8891 @desert-fern @startrekfangirl2233 @horseshoegirl @hangmansgbaby @mamachasesmayhem @roosterforme @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @callsign-mongoose
sorry if i missed anyone on the taglist, my list in an absolute mess right now 😂
#top gun rocktober#bob floyd x reader#fishin in the dark#top gun maverick#robert bob floyd#robert bob floyd x reader#bob floyd#bob floyd fic#bob floyd fanfiction#top gun bob#robert floyd#top gun#controlled chaos squad#bob x reader#bob fic#bob angst#lewis pullman#hurt/comfort#tgm fic#sarahsmi13s
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Good morning, everyone!
It is Bo Burnham's 33rd birthday today! 🥳
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BO! You've got seven more years to go per your last birthday song haha 😉
It is also my last day in my intensive therapy program. I feel SO much lighter and happier than when I started. I never thought it was possible! 🥰
I just wanted to again thank everyone who's supported me through the HARDEST month of my entire life.
The combination of being suicidal and then my ex asking for divorce on July 26th—one day after I was admitted to the psych ward—felt like the world was collapsing around me.
But I found the strength to open up during group sessions (EVERYONE at the hospital knew I love Bo's stuff haha), and some very special people there gave me the courage to go on living. Thank you, Alexia, for playing Bo's music in the gym and Donte for giving me a soft fleece blanket (the sheets were SO itchy) so I could finally sleep again.
Special shout-out to my sister. Jill has been there for me since we were kids (she's 4 years younger than me), and we've weathered the same shit from our awful parents and both have complex trauma because of it. I'm more sensitive than her in general and internalize things, but she sent me two videos that changed my whole perspective.
The first was Brent Charleton and his chart of the Ego States. This helped me reconfigure how my thinking was constantly making things worse in life. I'm basically a teenager learning to be an adult in my mind, and that is OKAY. I am learning to heal my wounded inner child, and she is thankful for the emotional support when she had none from her narcissistic mother and enabling father growing up.
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The second was Tim Fletcher's series on shame. This is incredibly hard to watch (I recommend taking as many breaks as you need), but I promise you it gets SO much better when you let go of shame. All shame does is make us feel miserable...it is SO not worth it to live that way!
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I know this all sounds like nonsense to most of you, but I was ready to kill myself because the intrusive thoughts had become unbearable. If you're at that state too, please watch one of these videos—I PROMISE it can get better 🌈
What made me realize my self-worth was watching my interview with Quentin Stuckey about my website. I could hardly believe that I could APPEAR that personable and happy when I was secretly dying inside.
Thank you so much, Quentin, for giving me the opportunity to be on your podcast, and I hope the weather gets better in Europe soon! 💗
And, last but not least, I have a brand-new interview with one of the most creative and inspirational Bo content creators I've had the pleasure of talking to: Dylan Case.
Please make it a priority to watch his 38-minute parody of Inside here—he is an absolute GEM and I will support his comedy career in any way I can! 🙌🏼
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Thanks, everyone. I didn't think I would still be here on July 25th, but I'm glad I stayed. ✌🏼🐔
#bo burnham#happy birthday bo#i'm turning 33#not me#bo is#I'm 41 haha#suicide prevention#please reach out to someone#i am always here if you are struggling#intrusive thoughts#complex trauma#cptsd recovery#shame is the root of it ALL#and BOY the Catholic church did NOT help#especially since I am bisexual and hid that for years too#be your authentic self#inside bo burnham#bo burnham inside#30#7 years to go#standupcomedyhistorian#I love you all#and I feel lighter and happier now#wounded inner child#tim fletcher#shame#both of these videos help with cptsd#brent charleton
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“I have a lot more muses than people think I do. People think that songs are just about one specific person.”
“Someone who makes me feel something on a cellular level or someone that just shifts me in a way that I can’t not write about… somebody who’s broken my heart, somebody whose heart I’ve broken, somebody who I had some sort of exchange with or somebody I kissed.…”
— FLETCHER about muses and inspiration via Rolling Stone
#fletcher#cari fletcher#fletchernetwork#lgbtq#queer#womendaily#musicdaily#rolling stone#magazine#interview#march 2024
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"I" am "Me", The "Real" Me
(Their True Feeling is somewhere..."
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Empty Sekai
Clay walking around the Sekai, after some explanation and about Fletcher being his brother, HIS brother... Clay try to calm his mind and not thinking back to the time he try to visit the Wizard Council. What else is hiding about his family that he doesn't know...
Why he didn't know nor remember Fletcher? Why now that he knows about this? What kind of magic influence that cause his mother to turn evil... How come he didn't know...
He have more questions and thoughts on his mind until he feel someone coming. He look up and bright light appear. It faded revealed one of the members of Nightcord at 25, Shinonome Ena.
Ena, who's in front of him, holding a tablet also with a digital pen for the said tablet. She looks so determine but change to surprise and happy when she look at him.
"Clay! Just someone I was hoping you come!" Ena said, she walks towards him. Holding her tablet closely to her, not letting the knight see what's on the screen.
Clay give a small smile, "Ena. Nice to see, you doing well...?" Clay said.
"Yes, I am!" Ena said, very confident and determine. This had just make Clay even more curious over her determination.
"I have something to show you," Ena said as she open up her tablet and the screen light up. She seems to be focus on what she wants to show him, until her face lighten up on the thing she found, "Here!"
What shows on the screen tablet, Clay saw a drawing of himself with... Grey Knight... Clay was taken back by it but before he said anything, Ena started to explain, "Kanade have told me you have done make the cover from one of our song, called "Identity" that she and Miku sang. When I was thinking of how to do the cover for that music, I remember the time you explain to Miku and KAITO about why you didn't come visit." Ena said, as she looks upset.
Clay wasn't surprised, out of all the members, Ena seems to be the most emotional and betrayed by Clay stop visiting the Sekai. He did apologize to all of them, but it took awhile for Ena to forgive him.
"I got inspired by one of your story, the Grey Knight. And I am making sure the right color for him and yours to be a bit different. For the eyes, I notice before you stop visiting, your eyes is pure blue night sky. So I chose the color that opposed to it." As Ena said that, she shows the color that opposed to blue... It was yellow.
Clay tune out what Ena said as he focus more on the drawing. It's him and Grey Knight, both of them look at each other. Grey Knight seems to be frustrated, while he calmly and yet, cautious of him. Just as Ena said, it may seems nothing is show much in the art but Clay can see what she meant. Same face, same voice and yet, so different...
Before the revealed of Ruina is his mother, Clay never have someone as his parental figure before Merlok. At the Orphanage, the lady who took care of him does care but more kids come, her attention goes to them just as Clay grow older. And at the Knight's Academy, he hopes he can be a knight that he dream of. But he knows more challenge is going to come to him later on.
Until Sir Griffiths, his teacher from Knight's Academy, present him a copy of Knight's Code. He can pretty tell that the Knight's Code influence him more than the teacher and Merlok. His mind seems to go off somewhere as he remember the time him being a Grey Knight.
His anger, his rage, frustration... That's the only time he can feel rage swelling up in his body... His friends, especially Lance, may have annoyed him and he did mad at them, but during his time being a Grey Knight bring him nothing but rage in his body...
"–And that's why I choose the Grey Knight. I hope it is alright if I used him for an inspiration, Clay—"
"...good."
"Huh?" Ena said.
"What I mean," Clay look at Ena after he done focusing on the drawing, he look at her and giving a gentle smile, but what Ena off guard was not that, "It's pretty good. The drawing really gave away that even if the person is the same, you never know what's the difference is as well."
What caught her guard off is Clay's smile. Not like Mafuyu's but his smile. That gentle smile, this time is genuine... He is genuinely smile...
"Ena? Are you alright?"
Ena finally snap out of her gaze as she notice Clay suddenly look at her in concern. "I, I am fine!" She quickly said, "And thank you, Clay! Thank you for letting me draw the Grey Knight."
"It's alright, the song identity does fit the description of me and Grey Knight a bit." Clay said.
"Y-yeah! Anyway, I have to go now and send it to Kanade!" Ena said, "Bye Clay!"
Finally a light surrounded her and fade away revealing she has gone...
Clay look at the spot Ena leave, he smile, still smile... He never smile this much, what's change...?
—
"Miku? Are you alright?"
Rin's voice snap Miku's thought away, she look at the blonde vocaloid looking concern for the white hair vocaloid.
"I am fine... Just feel something... Or someone.." Miku said as she look around. Does one of the girls figure out their feelings? Or is it Clay?
—
???
Somewhere, a music note tree is on the middle of the field. A blue hair girl observe one Sekai that caught her attention.
"Miku? Is there a reason why you called me?"
Miku turn to the voice, her friend, Megurine Luka, said as she look confused on why Miku need her help. Is there something about the Sekai that Miku notice that she couldn't help?
"Luka, you're just in time," as Miku said that, she walk towards Luka and stop in front of her, "Remember the yellow dust I mentioned?"
"The yellow dust that coming from 5 Sekai that you notice? Yes, I remember," Luka said, her tone turn to serious one, "Have you found the cause of it?"
Miku shook her head, "No, I don't."
Luka shows her frown, Miku continue, "However, after the first time the yellow dust appeared, it doesn't appear much later until," Miku step aside, letting Luka sees it. One of the Sekai, the yellow dust suddenly fall from that Sekai, "This time, it seems to show much yellow dust... I am, I am not sure what to do, Luka!"
"Miku, calm down." Luka said, "Whatever it is, just have hope that this Sekai isn't like..."
"Like that one...?"
Luka nodded, remember the time she visited the abandoned Sekai... As long as the host of the Sekai didn't give up, the Sekai itself won't fall...
"How about we go to others. Tell them everything, you're not a burden Miku, and if this keeps going, we have to see it for ourselves to help you." Luka said and give a reassuring smile to Miku.
—
Kanade's Room
In her room, Mafuyu slept very soundly. Not bother with the computer light, because Kanade is still on working with music. She also had gotten a file sent by Ena. It's the cover for video's thumbnail for Clay's song cover, "Identity".
Kanade suddenly felt a bit sleepy but then back to stay awake. She sigh, she really need to set a time for herself but, she must keep composing.
Just like another time, she suddenly felt a bit sleepy. When suddenly a bright light were suddenly light up on her computer making Kanade cover her eyes from the bright light.
When the light faded, Kanade look at her computer screen, nothing is happening... Kanade felt confused for awhile and sigh, it must be just her imagination...
Until, she felt something on her shoulder. A hand on her shoulder, she thinks it's Mafuyu... But Mafuyu is on her bed, still sleep...
If Mafuyu was there, then who is–
"Kanade? Why are you awake?"
Clay... Clay is here... In her room. Suddenly Kanade's view turn black.
#lego nexo knights x hatsune miku colorful stage#lego nexo knights#hatsune miku colorful stage#clay moorington#nightcord at 25:00#shinonome ena#hatsune miku#yoisaki kanade
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Jukebox January: Day 1
So I saw this prompt game from @esskuesli and considering that one of my favorite things to do in the world is gush about music, I thought it'd be fun to do it! I have a feeling that this is going to heavily lean on artists I listen to a lot and know their entire back catalog, but I want to share music that's really me.
Day 1 is songs starting with A. Let's go!
Aijā - Sudden Lights
The song that Europe did dirty. I need to drag everyone who didn't vote for it in front of sad Andrejs and tell them to apologize. I love, love, love how when you listen to Sudden Lights you can tell they started in music school together, because the 5/4 to 6/4 transition in this song is everything. 5/4 is a fave time signature of mine because it's got this unsettling feeling, you can make it feel like you skipped a beat or added one, while any time signature in 3 has this gentle, rocking feeling to it. So switching from the verses where he's singing about how he doesn't believe in the beautiful world anymore, to the chorus where he's telling you not to cry, and then the lullaby-inspired ending--this song is so good from so many perspectives. Go listen to Sudden Lights. Do it. Now.
A sem ti povedal - Joker Out
The buildup of this song is so good, one of my favorite things in the whole world is songs that start out minimal and build to a big ending. I love this one because it doesn't have the drop between verses and chorus, it keeps building through the song, starting with just guitar and then adding in the whole band and then adding more and more layers of guitar and then finally another layer of vocals, so good in every way! Plus I love the little bit of Spanish guitar in it, as someone who had a brief phase of trying to be a classical guitarist as a teenager.
Absinthe - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME
Every iDKHOW song has such a fucking good groove and I think this is exactly what you get when your frontman (and only man, now, I guess) is a bassist. Why this one specifically? It's not the point of the song, I know, but as someone who was really, really into Les Mis as a teen, I love a good mention of absinthe.
Anna Sun - Walk the Moon
This one's here, of course, because it's about me. 😉 I actually love the lyrics even if they didn't mention my name: "We got no money but we got heart/We're gonna rattle this ghost town" is such a lovely line!
Always You - Depeche Mode
This one's from their newest album, which is such a melancholy yet beautiful album, some very dark moments (the album has a lot about the pandemic, war, and death of Andy Fletcher) and yet these moments of love and hope, and this one is all about that love. Depeche Mode are the absolute best at creating this all-encompassing atmosphere with their music, the emotions are layered into every note, and so I feel it in my heart that "There's always you/The light that leads me from the darkness", which is especially powerful coming after People Are Good if you listen to the album in order (I love to listen to albums in the order intended, because there's artistic intention to that too).
For some reason A is a really hard letter, but B... let's just say tomorrow will be a whole bunch of my absolute favorites of all time. Like, it'll probably get so long I have to put it under a cut. (I don't have an explanation for this.)
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Shattering stereotypes is part of this journey, particularly harmful ones that members of this community are transphobic. "I think that it's been really hard to break those stereotypes and stigmas that society has just placed on so many people that have been unwarranted and unwelcome, she says. So we're getting rid of those, hopefully, as more people learn to love themselves and exist and change the way others see one another."
"I think being a lesbian has been such a journey, and I've always known I was a lesbian since I was 5,” she adds. “So I've really grown a wonderful relationship with that word, knowing that being a lesbian is powerful, being a lesbian is beautiful, being a lesbian looks many ways. And it's been exciting to reclaim that word and what that means to me and what it means to the world, truly."
In recent years, the number of other pop artists who are sending the same empowering message has grown exponentially. It used to be that just a few artists among them, Kiyoko, Janelle Monáe, Kehlani, Halsey, and Tegan and Sara — were singing about sapphic love on pop playlists. Today, dozens of singers and bands like Muna, Fletcher, Zolita, Carlie Hanson, Rina Sawayama, Chloe Moriondo, Rebecca Black, the Aces, Sarah Barrios, King Princess, and Dove Cameron are making music that revels in the joy of being queer and loving women.
“It’s been incredible. I think that it’s long overdue. And I’m so grateful that we are normalizing our queerness in mainstream and in pop music,” Kiyoko says. “Growing up, I never could have imagined I’d have the opportunity to sing about women so boldly and still chase my dreams of being a pop star and to be mainstream. And it’s been an incredible journey and ride. And a win for one is a win for us all in just moving the needle forward in representation.”
Kiyoko sees this joyful tone as a welcome shift from the sadder lesbian songs of yesteryear. “It seems as though there is more space for us to celebrate our wins and our joy and our happiness,” she says. She points out that queer artists have always written about joy; it just wasn’t always accepted by the mainstream. “A lot of times in the media, it’s focused on our trauma and how challenging it is to exist. And so it’s finding the happy balance of validating both of those experiences,” she says. “I think we have a long way to go in Hollywood and television and film. But in the music space, I feel like we are able to listen to songs where we can just celebrate ourselves for who we are and celebrate finding love.”
Now that Kiyoko has helped create this freer music landscape, Lesbian Jesus is planning on expanding her queer kingdom. Fans of Kiyoko’s work in projects like Disney Channel’s Lemonade Mouth or The Fosters should know that she’s not giving up on acting. The former softball player even has one show in particular she’d love to be on.
“I watched A League of Their Own on tour, which was so fun,” she says of the new Amazon Prime Video show inspired by the classic 1992 sports film by Penny Marshall. “And that was really exciting to see queer narratives at the forefront…. I feel like that was something that we don’t really get to see.”
To remedy that, Kiyoko is also focusing on directing. She’s already directed most of her music videos and now wants to expand to feature films and television in order to tell queer narratives. The road isn’t easy. “It’s been really interesting to navigate that space as well and how challenging it is for [queer creators],” she observes. “There’s a reason why we don’t get to see a lot of queer narratives in shows because it’s just so hard to get them made.”
She also recently announced that she has written her first novel, a coming-of-age romance based on her breakthrough song “Girls Like Girls.” The novel of the same name is set to come out May 30, 2023 from Wednesday Books. She also has said that her “biggest dream” would be to adapt the novel into a series or movie. Let’s pray to Lesbian Jesus that that happens.
As an artist, Kiyoko says she always has “4,000 things” going on in her head at a time, and that she’s excited to show as many of them to fans as she can. Even as she’s wrapping up her current tour, she’s planning headlining one where she hopes to get to perform every song from Panorama. Lesbian Jesus has worked hard to build her message of self-love and queer joy, and she’s going to spread this gospel as far as she can.
(LINK)
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" 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 "
" ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕖𝕩𝕔𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 ! "
driving with no exact destination in mind. intricate up-do styles paired with barely-there makeup. running on your tiptoes out of habit. asking for opinions on varying types of literature. the fear of someone asking what you want to do for the rest of your life. they often compare you to wine and the lovely headache left behind. feeling at peace in an art museum. no shoes is the best kind, in your opinion. dancing to music, not as an escape, but to amplify how you’re feeling. making connections everywhere you step foot, but not understanding the power of saying goodbye. you can't just ignite something in people, and then leave. they say you’re often thinking outside the box. “take a chill pill, will ya?” dusting off the leather-bounds of fairytales. where’d you go? you can’t see the bigger picture, but it’s there. plane tickets taped to your wall of all your recent adventures. the sound of your favorite song on vinyl, echoing throughout your apartment. they say you inspired it - is that true? you’re going somewhere; you don’t even know where, but be sure to send a postcard once you get there.
ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕤
Pierre by Ryn Weaver || " I danced in the desert, in the pouring rain / Drank with the Devil and forgot my name / Woke with somebody when the morning came / No one there to shame me for my youth / Cause I wouldn't be with you "
Bunny is a Rider by Caroline Polachek || " Bunny is a rider / Satellite can't find her / No sympathy / But I'm so nonphysical "
Say Yes to Heaven by Lana Del Rey || " If you dance, I'll dance / And if you don't, I'll dance anyway / Give peace a chance "
Pretty Places by Aly & AJ || " Sit back and I'll drive us to / All the pretty places / Pull us away from where all the pain is / These open skies / Leaving the past behind "
Cherry by Fletcher Ft. Hayley Kiyoko || " We should rendezvous sometime, mon chéri / I want you on top of me like cherry "
Roman Holiday by Halsey || " And when it happens, I'll be miles away / And a few months late / Didn't know where I was running to / But I won't look back "
Green Light by Lorde || " Did it frighten you / How we kissed when we danced on the light up floor? / But I hear the sounds in my mind / Brand new sounds in my mind "
𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹 𝕊𝕚𝕕𝕖 ( 𝐚 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 )
Whispers by Halsey || " I've got a monster inside my that eats personality types / She's constantly changing her mind on the daily / ... Might have to trick her and treat her to 70 capsules or fly to a castle / So at least we can say that we died being traveled / Cultured and flattered, and then I could trap her / But what does it matter? / 'You do not want this' "
Labels by Katelyn Tarver || " I don't belong in your box / Baby, I'm tired of walking this wire / Don't mistake the smile on my face / I've come too far to play games / Baby, it's off the table / I'm done with all these labels "
Heavy by Peach PRC || " They'll kiss me / Manic dream pixie / Don't want to love me 'cause it feels too risky / And I understand / It's all I've been told / I'm heavy to hold "
clementine by Halsey || " I'd like to tell you that my sky's not blue, it's violent rain / And in my world, the people on the street don't know my name / In my world, I'm seven feet tall / And the boys always call, and the girls do too / Because in my world, I'm constantly having a breakthrough / Or a breakdown, or a blackout / Would you make out with me underneath the shelter of the balcony? / 'Cause I don't need anyone / I just need everyone, and then some "
You're on You're Own, Kid by Taylor Swift || " I hosted parties and starved my body / Like I'd be saved by the perfect kiss / The jokes weren't funny, I took the money / My friends back home don't know what to say / ... You've got no reason to be afraid / You're on your own, kid / You can face this "
Stupid Deep by Jon Bellion || " What if who I hoped to be was always me? / And the love I fought to feel was always free? / What if all the things I've done / Were just attempts of earning love? / 'Cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep / What if where I've tried to go was always here? / And the path I've tried to cut was always clear? "
I am not a woman, I'm a god by Halsey || " Every day I've got a smile where my frown goes / A couple bodies in the garden where the grass grows / I take 'em with me to the grave in a suitcase / Maybe I can be a different human in a new place / Oh, I just want to feel something, tell me where to go "
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Top: Anna Mason Catherine Long Sleeve Cotton Blouse ($565.00) | Skirt: Zimmermann Rhythmic Tiered Silk-Linen Mini Skirt ($895.00) | Shoes: Repetto Cendrillon ballerinas (€215.00) | Handbag: Chanel MINI SAC À RABAT (9,000€) | Earrings: Oscar de la Renta FORK AND SPOON EARRINGS ($190.00) | Headband: Jennifer Behr Lori Headband In Silk Faille ($225.00)
There was no random item vote this week because I decided to create an outfit inspired by someone who left us recently: Angela Lansbury. Because she is most by many as Mrs. Potts, I decided to create an outfit inspired by this character.
I selected the skirt as it contained all the colours found on Potts’ bottom part. Next, the top was chosen because it has this classic English feel to it, perfect for a good English woman like Mrs. Potts. The shoes and handbag represent the golden bottom rim and the golden handle of the teapot.
I chose the earrings as I thought they fit Mrs. Potts position as head of the kitchen. As for the headband, it is of a similar to the colour of the hat she wears as a teapot and as a human.
Now, because Angela Lansbury is more than Mrs Potts, I decided to honour two other roles she’s had (among many): Jessica Fletcher and Miss Eglantine Price (from Bedknobs and Broomsticks). First, if you saw my making-of reel and turned the sound on, you will have noticed that I used the theme of Murder, She Wrote. This was obviously my wink at her character of Jessica Fletcher. In fact, my first encounter with Lansbury was in Murder, She Wrote, not in Beauty and the Beast (being French-Canadian, I first watched that movie in French). That show is one of my comfort shows that I like rewatching every once in a while. Along with Columbo, she was my introduction into the world of mystery tv shows.
For Miss Eglantine Price, there’s the title, which is from the song “The Age of Not Believing”. While I was not familiar with the movie it came from as a kid, I had a box set of Disney song CDs which included that song, and I always found it soothing.
So long, Mrs. Lansbury. And thank you. For everything.
#mrs potts#disneybound#fashion#style#fashion blog#fashion set#polyvore#anna mason#zimmermann#repetto#chanel#oscar de la renta#jennifer behr#mode#moda
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tagged by @suzukibeanes who i've missed dearly in my tumblr absence!!
favorite time of year
fall!! the cooler weather, the pumpkin and maple leaf decorations, and the halloween movie marathons feel like coming home. i actually do not care for pumpkin-flavored things at all, it's just the ~vibes~ that i enjoy. like, it means the holidays are coming!! the year is almost over!! the ~POSSIBILITIES~ you know???
comfort food
most thai things!!!! probably most likely grilled chicken (wings) and sticky rice.
do you collect something
i don't really collect so much as i hoard??? but i guess, i started getting into records a couple of years ago and it's the most ~collection~ like of all my hoarded items. oooh and signed books i guess??
favourite drink
jasmine green tea! especially when it's iced and sweetened, and comes with boba... but i will also happily drink it when it's hot and unsweetened.
favourite song
lovesong by the cure and i am peyton sawyer dramatically writing the lyrics on the basketball court hoping that my long lost love will come back to me
current favourite song
girls girls girls by fletcher because it samples i kissed a girl and made it better HAPPY PRIDE [girls i got girls only girls going wild in my mind]
favourite fic
y'all i haven't read a single fic since my harry potter days (and even back then it was marauders era stuff lmao) but i will say i did read a boy band romance novel that i suspect??? is inspired by the lore around 1D but the thing is i don't actually know anything about the band or the fics or the ships so i can't comment on how fic-like it is but the goodreads comments are HILARIOUS
tagging: @billlkin @tutontawans @tipnaree @patspran omg what are y'alls usernames anymore i've been gone so long!!! *sob*
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I Lost My Soul By Loving You
Ao3
Summary:
Soulmates. Soulmates that are bound together but aren't together fade away to nothing until they die of heartbreak. Their skin pales, their bodies weaken, even their passions disappear. Sadly, It happens far more than one could believe, but Luka never believed he would witness that with his own love.
Marinette was fading and there was nothing he could do about it. At least, not until one night when the moonlight inspires him to make one of the hardest decisions he would ever have to make. But to protect her and to keep her alive? He would handle the pain just so she wouldn't have to.
All he knew was that loving her was a losing game.
Based on the song "Arcade" by Duncan Laurence (ft. FLETCHER)
I Lost My Soul By Loving You
Luka laid in his bed, the sheets only covering the lower half of his body. His hand laid comfortably on his bare chest, feeling the tempo of his heartbeat tapping quietly against his fingertips. The sound may sound normal to anyone on the street, but he knew the tempo was off and close to breaking.
He was close to breaking.
Luka sighed out heavily, turning his head slightly to the left. The room was dark. Night had fallen hours earlier lending to sleep that for him would never come. It was countless nights of chasing dreams, never gaining more than an hour or two at a time, but it wasn’t fruitless. There were priorities that insisted he needed to complete, one of them being a caretaker to the love of his life, one that truly wasn’t his true love. Not his soulmate. Not with the way her skin paled day by day.
He sighed out once again, lifting himself up from his sleepless slumber to sit at the edge of the bed. He bowed his head as he leaned over slightly, placing his elbows on his thighs and folding his hands together. He was trying to gather the thoughts that swarmed in his head, but just like usual, they ended in the same way. It was over and that he was losing a battle that he could never win.
It was not coincidental that the darkness of the room matched his outlook, but just like the moon trying to peak through the sliver of the curtains that covered the large window, he always searched for the light to brighten his revere.
A light mumble broke through his dark thoughts, and just like the moonlight, his own moonlight grounded him back to the room.
Luka turned slightly to see Marinette sleeping soundly on their bed, her once silky raven hair covering her eyes as she dreamed peacefully. She was absolutely beautiful in every sense of the word, but he knew the secret that she had been holding. The secret that would lead to her demise. And Luka knew that he couldn’t continue on with their love for his own selfish reasons.
Luka turned back towards the window, not bothering to lift his head. The tears he was holding back had finally broken through, slowly falling down his cheeks as he could feel the pain of what was to come in the morning. He needed to end things with her, and he was doing it only to protect her; he refused to protect his own heart from the pain. And that’s why he loved her like he did that night. Because he knew it was over. And if he could keep any memory, it would be the shy look on her face as she told him she loved him.
But he knew better. He knew what the universe was telling her. It didn’t matter that they had been together for years. But after that fateful day a year ago… after that sheer encounter with him… she knew it. The blond boy new it. Heck, even he knew it. But Marinette was being Marinette and refused to admit it, mostly to protect him. It was the way she was. But now it was his turn to protect her, and he knew he was refusing to admit it to himself, but the stress of watching her fade made him realize that he couldn’t lie to himself anymore either.
They were soulmates. Marinette and Adrien were soulmates. It was as clear as the moon on a perfectly clear night, and there was nothing he could do about it. He loved Marinette with all his being, but even he could see the damage of keeping her away from Adrien. And if he kept Adrien away from Marinette, they would both surely die.
Adrien looked grim. Pale blonde hair, sullen cheeks, tired features… he barely worked as a model from how destitute he looked.
And Marinette, oh his lovely melody. She wasn’t faring any better. Her porcelain pale skin was fading day by day. Not even the adorable blush that highlighted her cheeks could be seen any longer—Luka had to guess when she blushed by her mannerisms. Her beautiful, rosy, red lips had faded to an almost purply gray. The blues of her eyes, the ones that reminded him of the universe, were also just as gray as her lips. Even her raven locks looked dull and dry.
She was gray and slowly becoming lifeless. He now had to care for her, keeping her with him closely to ensure she wouldn’t fall or hurt herself. She was constantly tired, deep, dark circles under her eyes that had become a permanent fixture on her face, and the loss of her passions? She didn’t draw or create anymore. And this was all because she wasn’t with her soulmate.
“Luka?” Luka turned to the tired, gravely sound, but not before he wiped the still damp tear tracks from his cheeks. “Are you okay?”
He smiled. “Of course, my melody. I’m just inspired by the moonlight tonight.”
Marinette laid her head back down, snuggling further into the pillow. “And I hope the moonlight inspires you to go back to sleep. You need some rest.”
He chuckled before leaning over and pressing a loving kiss to her forehead. “I’ll go to sleep soon. I love you.”
Marinette yawned out, before mumbling back those words that he will cherish forever. “Love you too.”
Luka stared back towards the moonlight. He knew that he would always love her, but he would rather lose her like this instead of losing her forever and never seeing her bright smile ever again.
He smiled sadly, sighing out one more heavy sigh before resigning to his decision. He laid back down and faced towards her, keeping her close to his heart as if she had always been his.
He closed his eyes as the peace of his decision took hold in his soul. He didn’t lie when he said the moonlight inspired him, it was just not in the way she believed. She had inspired him to let her go, and that is enough to keep him going.
#luka couffaine#marinette dupain cheng#mentioned adrien agreste#ml fanfic#soulmates au#sad luka couffaine#break up#heartache
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Hello and Welcome back dear Hope.
I'm currently in Top Gun Maverick mood and I wrote a fic, I have 2 more about it. If you don't mind because your power and knowledge are huge, awesome, so I need your guidance. I need some lesbians songs to inspire me (I asked that because I listened to "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry)
hi darling!!
ooh so excited to hear you’ve been writing! I hope it’s going well <3
hmmm sapphic songs you say? okay I think I can provide a couple…
girls girls girls - FLETCHER
Strangers - Halsey
honey - Halsey
Dance in the Dark - Lady Gaga
So Happy I Could Die - Lady Gaga
I wish I knew more but I hope these help! anyone else please feel to add / comment some more <33
-hope
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