#If the youths are good at one thing
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I am EXTREMELY hesitant to partake in fandoms of any sort as I have partaken in fandoms in the past and.....
#Fucking legit though#I am hesitant every time I see something I mildly disagree with#Will I be harassed if I don't put that headcanon into my fics?#Will it be bad enough that I have to delete my tumblr to get away from it again?#Will they seriously try to find my personal information to blacklist me#FUCKING AGAIN#If the youths are good at one thing#It's not their grey thought processes#I'm legit having heart palpitations just thinking about it#This is why the most I ever do anymore is reblog some pictures or funny posts#And maybe read the occasional fic if I'm feeling daring#I really love this show and I want to interact with other fans#And I know the tumblr demographics skew in the adult range now#But even adults aren't really exiting their bubbles to broaden their opinions anymore#Even asking for prompts took a lot and I was on a high when I did#I have A LOT of baggage when it comes to fandom#It's part of the reason I tend to avoid the big things until they're no longer very big#Which is a double edged sword that those who've followed me long enough are familiar with#There's really no winning here
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I love Raph and haven’t said that enough so to be more specific I love that Raph is a soft boy who loves bear plushies, a gross boy who eats an assortment of things that are definitely better left alone, a smart boy who is more than capable of taking down villains through planning and fortitude alike, a strong boy who is dedicated to training his muscles and fighting prowess, a teenage boy who loves his brothers but is more than happy to tease and roughhouse with them, an angry boy who sometimes lets his anger take a hold of him to cover the fear, a gentle boy who is generous with hugs and affirmations to those he loves, a capable boy who takes on more than should ever be expected of a teenager, a good boy who just wants to be a hero and slowly comes to realize the cost of that duty, a good boy who has no reservations about putting himself in the way of harm coming to his family, a good boy who’s a great brother and son and person and deserves only the best the world has to offer.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#he’s so wonderful frfr#my poor boy is traumatized but still so proud of what they accomplished because they’re HEROES#what started as something fun - Saturday morning cartoon-like heroes vs villains esque - soon becomes his calling#and he loses himself a little along the way#because the world is TERRIFYING now#if they don’t do something about the bad things in the world then worse things will come#and Raph CARES too much to let it happen#even at the expense of his own happiness and youth#and he luckily reigns back that fear - knowing his family is there to keep an eye out with him#and he finally lets himself be a kid again#he’s very well rounded and his flaws are so good because (like the others) they are ALSO his strengths#I like how it’s softly implied that bears are his fav animal too bc that’s cute af#headcanon that he likes them so much because a stuffed bear was the first toy splinter managed to get Raph#but yeah one of my favorite things about tmnt is that the characters are well rounded and rottmnt exemplifies that immensely#with raph being no exception!!#amazing big brother and character#there’s a REASON in my tmnt main character tierlist he’s S tier!!!!#hot take but in terms of who should be leader I think it should be less who’s the better leader-#-and more who’s the better leader FOR THIS SPECIFIC MISSION#bc all four can be great leaders fight me on that#APRIL can as well 100%#doesn’t need a designated leader for them to succeed#they just need ~communication~#one of my favorite things tying Raph and Leo together is that they both *hide*#I’ve talked about Leo’s many masks a lot but Raph has one too#and it’s the mask of a hero - the mask of the protector
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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:
“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”
#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you#andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech#pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image#at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up#andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine#they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good#they were sooooo wrong#because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought#for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS#he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills#one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him#and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way#he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me#they’ve threatened to change his password so many times#they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended#and he made a new account out of pure spite#his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image#and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then#(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back#andrew minyard#aftg#tfc#trk#tkm#the foxhole court#all for the game
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crazy take: aside from actual lesbian romance stories, obviously, nothing passes the bechdel test better than moe "cute girls doing cute things" anime. its always just a group of girls, few to no named male characters, boys and dating are hardly ever brought up beyond the abstract, if at all. like we're focusing on the girls hanging out rn, we dont need to worry abt that shit. mugi just ate mio's strawberry.
#this doesnt mean i think all ''cute girls doing cute things'' anime is feminist btw#thats not my take. the test itself isnt a metric for feminism#im just saying if you take the rules purely at face value. that type of show kills it#but also no the genre isnt for the male gaze! everyone go watch 'a place further than the universe' and develop some emotions#even k on which i joked abt in the post- its actually a bit complicated bc of the way the anime deviates from the manga#but the short of it is the further it gets away from its source and becomes its own thing the more it becomes abt the girls#s2 being all original was the strongest. its a great story about the fleeting nature of youth and lasting friendships actually#ppl dont give it enough credit. yes its slice of life ofc but its really good#also not to mention bocchi. everyone loved bocchi. in that show they literally have a joke where they dont show the dads face#bc no male characters LOL#the acceptation being that one club owner who is meant to be more feminine? manga readers know more abt that tho
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"i'm teaching a monkey yao a forbidden method of immortality!!!" girl... what were YOU doing knowing a forbidden method of immortality
[ID: A three page comic done in white and shades of purple. Characters are uncolored, but have shading.
First panel has Patriarch Puti and Sun Wukong walking in an enclosed back garden, with Sun Wukong looking up at Patriarch Puti seriously as his sifu speaks. Patriarch Puti says, "These techniques, although effective, are dangerous. They are teachings outside of known doctrine. What you have done is stolen the creative powers of Heaven and Earth, intruded on the dark machinations of the moon and sun."
Second panel has Sun Wukong considering this somberly. He says, "Sifu... That's..." He processes for a moment, and says "Wait-"
In the third panel, Sun Wukong looks up at Patriarch Puti with a knowing mischievous grin, while Patriarch Puti looks very tired, as if he already knows what SWK is about to say. Sun Wukong asks, "If they're so unknown and forbidden, how do you know them then?"
Fourth panel has Patriarch Puti simply stating, "Wukong, as the next generation, your responsibility is to learn from the mistakes of your elders." Sun Wukong responds, "ha okay." In the background, with the caption "Several hundred years ago," there is a flashback of a young Patriarch Puti running away as a strike of lightning barely misses his feet.
End ID]
#journey to the west#jttw#xiyouji#sun wukong#monkey king#patriarch puti#puti shifu#had two concepts for patriarch puti in my head and was not sure which one im gonna go with#one ver is where he was just as reckless and a menace as swk in his youth but he either mellowed out as he grew older#or somethingTM happened to make him realize his actions have consequences#and thus he has a soft spot for swk because he sees a bit of himself in swk#second version is where he's always been serious and mellow but now that he's this old he kinda regrets not acting out more#and thus he respects swk's boldness and wishes to somewhat nurture that boldness#🤔 but now i think im going with an in-between ver#being a puti shifu who was very skilled and bold and gifted in his youth but all his rebelliousness was spent on more self-serving things#rather than fighting any injustices in the system like swk#nd now that he's older he regrets that and he's a teacher now wanting to pass his skills onto new generations to do some good now#<- btw re: the wording of swk 'fighting injustice in the system'-#-i am a swk apologist <3 yaoguai rights <3 but i also dont wanna give off the impression that i think he was 100% entirely in the right-#-villain swk rights <3#but yeah i think while he was at puti's school (constantly reminded he's not a human or immortal) he was moreso of the mind:#'fucking sucks that yaoguai are mistrusted and not treated the same'#and that remains his core motivating factor but as he grows more power and leaves puti's side he kinda kinda loses sight of that a bit ykno#as he gets more megalomaniac yaoguai warlord#anyways yea#swk was still right tho <3 <- correct
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it's not a Sunday unless you're on the unhinged edge of exhausted and end the day moderately in love
#Lu rambles#hnngnnfng fngndngndngndngnndnf#TWO major church events today including an outreach event that was SO wonderful#had a sillygoofy moment with the sound guy on accident bc No One Expects The Lu To Hold That Many Things In One Hand sjdjfbsk#worship was INCREDIBLE.... spent the day with my sister in law. made yummy desserts with my mom.#prayed for people. was a part of something beyond me. got to act as a youth leader and HNGNDNG NOTHING#feels as good as that. made a new friend!!!!!! the world is beautiful and I am full of hope and silliness ksskdkdkdnds
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How does one get assigned as sam coded / dean coded ? Do I need a doctors note ? A psych evaluation perhaps ?
#i keep going back and forth on it#bc i used to identify with dean for the longest time bc i was so repressed and emotionally closed off (+older sister)#and at that point id spent my youth very purposefully protecting my younger sibling from our dad#and i guess in my brain i paralleled that with dean staying behind with john while sam took off for stanford#and dean protecting sam from knowing too much abt the supernatural#BUT having grown up ive now become the one resentful and angry at our father while my sister protects him#and our fights remind me a lot of scenes from the show where im obviously identifying a lot stronger with sam#plus the whole thing abt being the families designated academic or whatever#while also feeling cursed from the minute i was born and crushing at the guilt of everything wrong with me#and trying to be a good person and saving others to make for the fact that i feel an intrinsic evilness about myself#so like... yeah sam is very very relatable too in that sense#bc he also has that hope in him- the belief in god. in angels. in goodness. and i have that too !#im just also a miserable cynic at the same time :)#so ????#i havent been in the fandom for long enough to know the full requirements of being a sam or dean girl#(and by that i mean i havent been in the fandom for long AFTER i rejoined from my 10 year hiatus)#i literally would love to read someones page long explanation of what sam coded vs dean coded entails#someone with a spn hyperfixation or special interest needs to provide me with the goods fr 😭#spn
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i am well aware that there is more than one person running for the democratic party in the presidential election but unless someone usurps biden in popularity (which i honestly kind of doubt will happen), people really need to understand that ultimately the election is going to result in one of three things:
1, democrats refuse to vote, therefore donald trump or another most likely equally as bad person will win
2, democrats split the vote between other canidates in the democratic party which results in none of the dem candidates getting enough votes to beat a Republican and the same outcome as 1 happens
or 3, democrats work together to vote for the most popular canidate (who i think will most likely be biden) and a democrat is elected
and im gonna be honest, if 1 happens im gonna start biting people. yall NEED to vote, voting is LITERALLY the most basic most liberal ass thing you can do as a leftist right now, and if you are refusing to vote right now im like actually mad at you, its really not that hard yet some people STILL dont wanna do as if NOT VOTING WASNT PART OF WHY TRUMP WAS ORIGINALLY ELECTED. JUST VOTE.
#i understand that there are better avenues for leftist activism than voting that do more blah blah blah votes barely count#but its ridiculous to me that people have literally the easiest way to make sure that the US is slightly less of a complete#dumpster fire and are STILL not wanting to do it#do you people really want another trump presidency???? is that what you fucking want??? why is everyone incapable of picking the guy who#is significantly less worse than trump. do you people think that voting is the same thing as saying you love someone so much and they can d#no wrong??? you can still protest a guy you voted for?? no one even has to know who you voted for either???#i cannot understate how pissed i am at people like this as someone who cannot vote i am like enraged#you have this ability and yet you refuse to utilize it while those unable to have to sit and watch while your actions cause#horrible people to make the rules#trans youth in america have been the most targeted by the right recently#and how do you think they feel helplessly watching you throw it away because you dont know how to suck it up and choose?#theres no such thing as a good president you need to learn that
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I think people overestimate how feminist team black is. If someone brings up how Baela should be the heir to Driftmark, it's always "she would've been Queen if not for the Greens!", ignoring that 1, she would be Queen consort, not a Queen in her own right, and 2 she has a legitimate claim in her own right to Driftmark. Team Black's goal is to crown Rhaenyra, but Rhaenyra becoming Queen isn't a win for feminism because it does nothing to dismantle the rest of the patriarchal system that exists in Westeros. From what we've gotten so far, it reads that Rhaenyra wants to be the exception and not the rule. Rhaenyra has made a lot of bad political decisions, which means she can't acknowledge Baela's claim because it would weaken her own claim (blatantly admitting her eldest sons are illegitimate would not end well for her to say the least). So she betrothes Jace and Luke to Baela and Rhaena to kind of atone for that, like as a consolation prize Baela will be Queen and Rhaena will be lady of Driftmark, neither of them would hold either title in their own right. It's good matches because the kids like each other and will treat each other well, but it's not a feminist win or a feministic liberation. It's usurpation, usurpation that takes place because Rhaenyra has to do damage control after having illegitimate children and after a serious of bad political decisions (both hers and her fathers, Viserys is the arbiter of this entire mess). To me, Rhaenyra is very reminiscent of Mary Queen of Scots, I can see a lot of elements drawn from Mary's history in Rhaenyra's story and character, down to their sons eventually taking the crown they failed to claim/keep.
#hotd#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#Rhaenyra targaryen critical#I'm going to do a rewatch prior to season 2 & I'm going to analyse the bad political decisions from vis & Rhaenyra that lead to the dance#like by no means the only factors at play lets not forget otto daemon larys etc#but it's an interesting factor that the fandom doesn't really acknowledge#and a lot of Rhaenyra's bad political decisions are understandable because of her youth and because viserys does fuck all to prepare her#like even if she wasn't who he choose as heir she should've been given a better political education as a princess#but vis fails his most of his other four kids in that regard to#i mean he also fails to acknowledge them or remember them but anyways#he is a huge part of the reason aegon and aemond became he they did#props to whoever probably alicent for sending daeron to oldtown so he could grow up well adjusted#alicent: i'm writing a letter to daeron is there anything you would like to say to him?#viserys: daemon? why are you writing to daemon?#alicent: daeron?#viserys: who?#alicent: our son? the one you sent to squire in oldtown?#viserys: i think i'd remember if we had a son who's name was one letter different to my brothers#viserys: in fact i do alicent do you mean the one who lost an eye?#alicent: *screaming internally*#viserys targaryen#king viserys#rhaenyra is such an interesting character but i hate how the fandom sanctified her because how dare characters be complex and have flaws#like you dont have to justify their actions or bend over backwards to deny their faults to like a character you know 😭#and the same thing is done to daemon who is far more fucked up and far more flawed in the show than the fandom allows#i hate the team stuff tho i get hbo going for it as a marketing move that was genius but my god are certain stans insufferable#the entire point of the dance is that its a pointless tragedy there's no good or bad side theyre both awful in their own ways#but thats a longer rant for another time outside of the tags
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bold of you to assume we (or atleast i) dont want to read paragraphs about ik's and belphie's dynamic 😈😈
if you feel like writing that, i'd absolutely love to read about it!!! ^^
RIGHT YES this took me a hot minute but let's go!!!!
so the main points that this is all built around:
belphie is someone who is absolutely shit at understanding himself
ik is someone who has a knack for understanding anyone she talks to for long enough
belphie's first resort is usually to leave things to someone else, but easily asserts the things he wants
ik will actively pursue you if she thinks she can help, despite usually feeling guilty about requesting anything
they both have very simple views of very complicated things
building from point 1: this is not entirely belphie's fault - i've talked about this before, so i'll just paste the pertinent bits here:
belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss
the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all
it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"
belphie underestimates himself and, at the start of the year, is convinced that there's no way forward - 1. he feels he's left it too late, 2. he feels he's the only one still hung up on lilith's death, which only makes him more bitter, and 3. he thinks that the hatred and grief is just who he is now
now take ik, who finds him in the attic and takes worryingly little convincing to help him - even more concerningly, she decides to go through with it even upon finding out he was lying about his identity. this is a direct contradiction to his conviction that humanity is selfish and cruel - more than that, the more ik visits and chats with him, the more he remembers why he'd been so fascinated by humans as an angel
except it also reminds him of how much lilith loved humanity. belphie doesn't think he's capable of letting go - he doesn't think he's allowed to, and to him befriending a human and moving on is the same as betraying his sister's memory. so he represses any feelings of good-will and continues to nurse his hatred
i think it's important to note that belphie's hang-ups have always been self-destructive before this, but the more he lets his own grief fester, the more it threatens to burst. his threat to lucifer about destroying humanity is an early indicator of this, and it culminates in a moment of extreme emotional distress where it finally all implodes
so ik - in the wrong place and the wrong time (in the literal sense) - finds him in the middle of a nightmare, wakes him up, and gets murdered for her troubles
belphie shuts down immediately after, because to him this is a point of no return. he's already convinced himself that nothing can be done for him, and this is the proof. except then everyone else forgets what's happened, and, panicking, he goes along with it - out of fear of losing his family if he comes clean.
so: point 2 - consider that a big thing with ik is that she just doesn't get why belphie acts the way he does after killing her. she's been able to get into the heads of his brothers before him, and even now can somewhat rationalise them forgetting, but she has no idea why belphie - who first killed her and then acted like he'd forgotten about it - would suddenly seem so wracked with guilt upon finding him in the dreamscape
belphie does not think he is strong enough to move on. ik, somehow, intrinsically, already knows this is not true. this is why she's so bewildered by belphie telling her lilith's story. he's convinced this is some kind of damning evidence, but ik doesn't get how this explains anything. and because she doesn't understand, she seeks answers.
now take point 3 and 4. belphie does not attempt to seek forgiveness - he just sits in the cell solomon locks him in. he doesn't try to get out, he doesn't attempt to repent, and he doesn't want to, because as far as he's concerned there's nothing to be done
ik, on the other hand, is going to put her home back together by force if necessary, so she goes to find him. multiple times, she climbs up the tower stairs to rescue him from a waking nightmare - the same thing that killed her - because her family is still his family, and she knows too well what it's like when you go without.
belphie has been sitting stagnant for millennia on end, and now ik has decided that she is going to KICK him along until he figures out that he can stand on his own two feet and keep going. and it works, because for some reason digging demons out of emotional pits of their own creation is ik's specialty
and now point 5: ik and belphie fall quite easily into a typical sibling dynamic of the "i'll make fun of you constantly, but if anyone messes with you they're dead" kind. they never really sit down to talk out all the residual Baggage of everything, because neither of them are the type to overthink these things
but EVEN THEN. they may be simple-minded but the complication of the everything that led up to this means there's little hidden meanings even in the normalcy of their behaviour, and neither of them ever register it
for belphie it's "i'll never understand you. thank you for understanding me. i don't know what to say, so i'll tease you for tripping on your laces instead. i'd throw someone down a gorge if they made you cry. let's go shopping. i think i'll spend the rest of my life wondering if i can ever close the wound i tore in your soul."
for ik it's "i'll never forget what you did to me. i see you in my nightmares sometimes. thanks for waiting for me after school. quit making a show out of helping me reach the top shelf. sometimes i'm glad you regret things so much. can you help me with this homework? i think we're alright."
and for both of them it's "i like hanging out with you. sleep well. i'm glad we're home."
in conclusion,
i am crazy about things i made up entirely. perhaps i am cringe but i am free
#answering asks#valenrien#and also#anon asks#i meant to write this out like two days ago but i got Super Invested out of nowhere#in drawing this one thing of solomon and mephisto#idk if i'll get around to fully finishing it so like 75/25 whether i'll ever post it#but it's been very fun. i finish my work and then get to go 'hehehe time to go draw gay people'#for brief moments my youth was returned to me and i was fifteen years old#and drawing godzilla going on dates with various dinosaur and dragon ocs again#i haven't drawn godzilla in years. i used to be so good at it. i should draw him hanging out with ik#but anyway. in conclusion#belphie is a wounded animal in a beartrap and ik is the farmer's boy who loses a finger trying to prise it open#ik's unrelenting and fierce campaign for everyone she loves to just be NICE to themselves is almost frightening to belphie#who doesn't quite comprehend how she does it and doesn't feel he's quite earned forgiveness#except what ik's forgiveness forces him to confront is exactly what he deserves
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My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.
#butch speaks#it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head#when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god#the words came naturally to me#but they meant nothing#i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away#i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred#i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake#i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex#fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic#i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun#the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun.#not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO#the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love.#he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like#he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever.#he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer#then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there.#he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did.#but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there.#that wasnt for us.#my family wasnt even THAT catholic#i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group#i was an altar servant and in the choir#i even used to speak/understand a little latin#imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao#grateful to have grown up poor in that regard#hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually.#fucking hell.#i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.
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GIRL......................... suspension of disbelief I know but.
Obviously you can pick out a BUNCH of the dragons as that Is an ongoing trope (dragons aging differently than humans, so they can look younger than they "actually are") (also while I did try to avoid including them to make them more comparable to Nino, I think Flayn can fit in either category for the purposes of The Context -- esp cause her dragon blood is meant to be secret)
Not only do we have Heroes skewing younger (a lot fitting into another trope of What If There Was A Baby Sister) we also have Baby Banner. Where the whole point is they are baby.
LIKE....... maybe I'm speaking way too soon and maybe the whole point IS this will backfire LMFAO, but it IS absurd to be presented with her art (which, def still looks youthful!) and having her say yeah I can pass as a kidnapped child. Which COULD be true! But also what do you mean no one is going to know you're a part of the Heroes. Why is no one fighting her on this. Not even including the dragons there are like a handful of Heroes who fit into her exact vibe. Some even MORE baby than her.
#fire emblem#feh#and that's not even factoring in charas like nyx (who's whole thing is she 'looks younger' than she is)#which. tbh. i personally never saw even in fates. like. that's just a short small woman. they do exist.#and adding to that are the other charas who read as short small women to me like celine (before i knew her in-game age is 17)#and eitri#and also youthful charas who are treated as younger yes but also as full fledged adults in their own right. like lissa#(treatment mostly comes from chrom tbh which is understandable LMFAO)#OH and that's not even looking at all the second gen/child units from awakening/fates/other games that include that#which i think is just genealogy and thracia??? i'm not familiar enough w those titles though#also like. in general. a lot of fe charas who have official ages are teens. nino is 15. i think ike was like 16 in por????#which like! still a kid! but also! idk even what the difference is. is it just that ones a sweet looking girl#and the other is a boy who was trained to kill for as long as he's been alive (very lovingly by the rare good dad in fe)#i mean. i guess that makes a difference.#OH MAN I COULD HAVE INCLUDED LYSITHEA INSTEAD OF FLAYN. ALSO fits the bill perfectly#VERONICA WAS 13 WHEN WE MET HER AND SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN CONSIDERED TO BE A CATEGORY 10 THREAT#SORRY i'm nitpicking like crazy LMFAOOOO but like. the people of askr should not be fazed by anything anymore.#and you would think whoever is causing problems like bandits or what have you. you'd think they'd adapt.#SANAKI. ALSO. WHO IS WHY WE KNOW VERONICA'S AGE ROUGHLY IN THE FIRST PLACE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#okay i swear i'm done now. good by forevwr 👍#fe nino
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ahh i feel yucky
#just mad about life again <3#mad that my doctors told me not to go to college yet#and now that i probably could if this medicine works#i dont see the point anymore#what i wanted to do wouldnt get me anywhere#i just found that out without even trying it for myself#like i guess its good cause i dont have loans lol!#but i wish i wouldve had one shot to try it out#like. im a kid im supposed to find stuff out the hard way right??#yeah i got the easy way out financially and time wise but. i didnt even get to try i didnt even get to see what it couldve been like#and im mad i spent all of my youth with my shitty stupid ex that just had to rape and abuse me like it didnt even matter#im mad that he gets to ruin any future relationship i have even though he isnt around anymore#it isnt fair none of its fair#im gonna be 21 next month and all i know is not even getting the chance to fail and not even knowing what love is supposed to look like#what do i have to show for any of it?#i look at people i grew up around and theyre all finding their ways and doing things we talked about when we were kids#ive always felt like im just watching everyone grow up like a tv. im just sitting infront of it and theyre all going#and i thought maybe that wouldve changed by now i thought maybe id catch up#maybe i was naive or stupid to think it would change because it hasnt#im scared that im just gonna be one of those people that just doesnt really ever do anything#and it wasnt even up to me! i had such big dreams and then i had to have some stupid pains#and some stupid doctor had to tell me to hold off for a year#and its like the drain was pulled in a bathtub and everything just started to go down#whatever#im done ill be fine#tbd
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hc: steve loves KISS. eddie HATES them. go
#bobbi babbling#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#i dont think eddie hates glam metal per se#i think its KISS-specific#i think hed be all “they cater to the mainstream steve!!!”#(completely ignoring how metallica is like one of the most mainstream metal bands ever)#(and overrated imo—-DONT GET ME WRoNG i like a lot of metallica songs)#(but theyre overrated)#anyway i just KNOW steve and eddie would fight over music all the time#steve IS a music lover. if not in canon then to ME#steve the sonic youth fan#eddie the begrudgingly agreeing that their music is pretty good
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The Fight
Trying to pick up the pace a little bit, but I'm not very good at writing action so this might be a bit clunky. Please excuse me.
Mountain's Peak (Part 1)
Nepal Sanctum (Part 2)
Talk it out (Part 3)
In which we let it all out
Ramattra found his brother exactly where he expected to; Tucked away on the highest roof top of the Monastery's temples, an old withered place few monks visited simply for the egregious amount of single wide stairs clearly poorly placed by the original builders.
"Brother Mondatta is looking for you," Ramattra spoke with no worry of startling his brother, positive Zenyatta had already sensed his approach at least three levels down. The fact that he hadn't run was a good sign.
"He can look a while longer.." Zenyatta replied, relaxing from his curled up position to allow his legs to dangle over the edge of the building.
Ramattra sat himself down beside his brother, taking a moment to appreciate the view. The sun was setting, stars had started to dot the soft pink sky. From this high up, one could truly see on into forever if they desired to.
"You hit the human..." Ramattra finally pressed, giving a glance to Zenyatta, who curled back in on himself slightly.
"I did."
"You said you would only use what I taught you in self defense."
"I did not use what you taught me, dear brother. I used my fist."
Ramattra couldn't help the slight chuckle hearing his elder defend himself so sharply released. If he could still shoot back, then he couldn't be all that tore up about what he'd done.
"Mondatta will expect an apology when we finally return."
"I did nothing to him." Zenyatta once again uncurled himself, his legs once more dangling over the building's edge as he relaxed into the flow of conversation with Ramattra.
"To the human, Brother."
Zenyatta released a loud, dramatic sigh noise, clunking his head into Ramattra's shoulder. "I would rather be placed on cattle clean up for the next 7 years."
Ramattra chuckled once again, "And I would love to assist you with such chores, but that is not Mondatta's way."
"No... I suppose not..." Zenyatta's voice softened as he once more pulled his knee to his chest, placing a hand on the ground next to Ramattra for balance.
Ramattra found his hand placed gently over his brother's, keeping his sensors locked to the stars as he leaned his head atop Zenyatta's.
With the sunrise the brothers would make their way back down to the village, they'd catch Master Mondatta on his way back from his morning meditation, when the monastery is silent and the human is still asleep. Zenyatta would give his apology, and be given laundry duty in return, with Ramattra would happily assist with despite Mondatta's preaching on how one must face their misdoings on their own.
That would all come tomorrow. For tonight, the two sat peacefully on the temple roof top, hands intertwined in a painfully human way, counting stars until the sun arose the next morning.
That stare made everyone in the monastery uncomfortable. Bright red eyes that only ever saw the monks as who they were, what they had been made for, how they'd failed or succeeded at a task that had been forced upon them.
It was sickening.
Across from Zenyatta stood the human, shouldering off thick layers of cloth and robes and scarves until only one remained, tied tightly off at his waist by a cream orange cincture belt. He then removed the thick, straw woven snow boots Mondatta had made for him, stepping bare foot into the chalk drawn circle of the training area, holding his hands up in a ready pose.
He'd kept his eyes locked on Zenyatta, not in a glare of malice, or even his usual annoying fascination, but a neutral look that challenged him without words.
Ramattra's hand grabbed tightly to the back on Zenyatta's upper robe. He was shaking. He was going to stop this.
Zenyatta shoulder off his brother's grasp and the robe along with it, leaving him in only his pants and the red cloth he'd kept tied around his waist.
Stepping into the ring, Zenyatta stood wide and placed his palm against the human's, keeping their gaze locked.
"If you win, I'll leave. Permanently. And I'll tell every human I meet they're not welcome here." Emile spoke evenly, despite the rapid pulse Zenyatta could feel coming from their freezing fleshy hand.
He tilted his head in amusement, "And what will you get if you happen to win?"
This was the sort of confrontation that would usually draw this particular human to tears, so it was quiet the shock to see him hold together while speaking. "You can decide that when it happens."
'When' Zenyatta thought on, wrapping his fingers around the human's small hand. It was cold, and soft, and easily crushable in even the flimsiest of Omnic hands.
"Usually a match is called when one is forced from the ring, but that feels a touch too easy, wouldn't you agree?" The human nodded along with Zenyatta's proposal, "So we keep going until one of us taps, agreed?"
Zenyatta watch the human give a small nod once more
And then kicked them as hard as he could right in the stomach
Emile flew out of the ring, scratching to a stop along the stone flooring. He hacked and coughed, gripping onto his stomach. If he'd eaten anything for the past few days he surly would have hurled it up.
"Get up." Zenyatta spoke from the ring. The human did as commanded, pulling himself up on shaky legs. He did not glare at Zenyatta for landing the first blow, he did not look on in fear for how much stronger his opponent was, he did not bask in awe at how mighty a kick it was. He kept his neutral expression.
And that pissed Zenyatta off worse than anything else.
Blow after blow, the human continued to get back up. Even after he'd started spitting up blood. Even after his glasses were shattered on the stone ground, rendering him near blind. Even after he'd stopped being able to feet his fingers in toes in the cold and after his arm stopped moving and after his ankle had made such a horrible crack and swollen to the size of an orange.
And even after Zenyatta still stood perfectly pristine.
Emile hadn't landed a blow on his opponent. Zenyatta was starting to doubt he was even trying to. Had he even raised his hand once to the monk? Had all he done was stand there and take Zenyatta's blows?
Zenyatta clenched his fists, "Get Up." He demanded, as he had over and over again, to the human laying still on the stone before him. "Get Up and Hit Me."
Emile's form shook as he pushed himself up with only one arm, his white hair dangling before his face, tips red from his own blood. As commanded he got up on shaky legs once more and looked to Zenyatta with those red eyes that pierced into his history, a history he'd been trying so hard to ignore, to hide and run away from.
"Get up." Zenyatta demanded again after landing a hard hit right into the human's nose. It was broken for sure.
Emile did as commanded.
"Brother, that is enough-" Ramattra reached to grab Zenyatta, to put an end to this, but stopped inches away.
"It's not enough..."
The human's voice was ragged, breathless and broken and shaking. He sounded on the brink of death.. He very well might have been.
"It's not... enough...."
Blood mixed with tears down Emile's face, big wet eyes stared at Zenyatta, making the Omnic hesitate.
Ramattra wouldn't dare touch a human, but he made a motion like he was going to either way, "Human you cannot take much more, please just call it-"
"I CAN'T." Emile's voice cracked, he coughed, and took a step just to keep himself from collapsing, "I can't... it's not... enough... yet...."
The human but his hand on his wrist, and Zenyatta found himself mimicking the motion. His finger tips touched delicately at his exposed arm wire, one of many fragile pieces of himself he'd been forced to show to the world after nearly loosing his life before coming here.
He could still feel the human's cold finger tips on it...
"it's not... enough... to... ma...ke up.. for what... i..."
His body was too heavy, everything hurt, and the world was spinning.. In his last few moments of consciousness Emile braced himself for one more cold embrace from the stone steps of the battle field..
And instead found warmth...
#Emile's Writing#In which Zenyatta beats me the fuck up#Ramyatta#In the first half at least... Hinted at any way#That's the INTENTION any way they do have feelings for one another but aren't. Like. Together really#Self insert#Self insert Fanfic#Proselfship#Proship Selfship#Zenyatta#I SHOULD probably actually tag him for these.... but I don't kgdjbkgfkjg I'll get better about that#This was SUPPOSED to be the last chapter of the Nepal Youths arc with Delinquent Zenyatta buuuuuuut#We've got one more to go now and then we can stop having Delinquent Zenyatta#But sensitive fraidy cat Ramattra is staying for a few more chapters because I LOVE HER#Anyway. Thanks for reading if you did!#Sorry the fight's kind of choppy like I said I'm not good at them#But it's necessary#This is one of those things I'd bring up with modern Zenyatta that'd make him want to curl up and explode ksdfjsdk#Genji would not believe me if I told him about this
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hngnwntnentnrneenfnenfengndngrnengnf
#HNNNNNN#survived a full youth group overnighter none the worse for wear!!#despite some hits to my pride (wiffle ball. also I lost at foosball several times alas) I think mayhaps I am even better for it#had a full functional one on one conversation with the sound guy which was. wild#but I was just wondering how long he'd been doing production stuff so I asked and we talked about it for?? several minutes???#also girl it's so weird bc I really really do not want children but how is it that watching him be SO good with kids#is one of the most goshdang attractive things I've ever seen#like it's almost cognitive dissonance bc I can't stand the thought of having kids but I also love doing youth group#and also that is. very attractive to me that the sound guy is so good with kids.#I spent like half the time watching people play ping pong. I played ping pong a little bit too as previously mentioned#also ough I love being with the kids... being a youth leader is so so fulfilling#like I never thought it was a ''calling'' until this year but it fills me up so much#and I think the kids like me#at least one girl in particular likes me skdkfnskgnskgns#even though I'm a doof and don't know how to play baseball#I just hope that my motivations are for THEM and not for ME yknow??#Lu rambles
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