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blorbingqls · 8 months

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"We accept the love we think we deserve" - seeing this quote in terms of love and control as subjects in Only Friends

With @tomatoland 's brilliant post on TopMew on the above quote here , i think that with 7 eps in, we have understood that love and control are very well linked with ephemerality as a subject.

As i have previously linked epheremality with control here, i would like to talk about how love also makes us lose control with the impermanence of life. This is a long overdue post for 4 eps now.

linking the ephemerality squad here so that you can also share your opinions on this @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @ranchthoughts (anyone else i am missing, pls tag, i really appreciate it)

TopMew

As Tomato (@tomatoland i hope you're okay with that nickname; i really tried to find a name on your blog for you) has referred in their post, Mew left his bubble of insecurities and got his heart broken. Completely legible and correct on his point. Top really loves Mew but now Mew has no reason to believe him anymore. With the play in their power dynamics, both of them loved each other and lost control of the way they wanted the relationship. Yes, if Top and Mew has stuck to their original plans - just reaching to the point of ideality and sex, then, this relationship should have ended after they got their goals. I dont think that sex was a goal for Mew as much as it was for Top, but, we can say it was in the secondary.

But as they fell in love, they, especially Top understood how the love he received from Mew is so much more than he thought he deserves (taking into account his trauma and past experiences). So , even though Mew is projecting his hurt by doing things that literally are asshole-ish as fuck on his accord, Top is willing to let go all of that since even he knows he is in the wrong this time and he is willing to lose all control he has on his life - of fame, money and insecurities in order to have Mew back. Top is willing to be as obsessive as Mew said he would be in a relationship in order to get and accept the love he think he deserves from Mew, even if it won't be good.

But, I also feel, the concept of love as explored in the series so far, not just runs along with TopMew because of the books, but also with all the remaining couples in the show. I won't discuss P'Yo and her partner, CheumApril in this segment, because I want more angles on this from the coming episodes in order to validate my point. But, I'll discuss this point with our other views on the couples: RayMew, TopBoston, SandRay, and BostonNick.

RayMew

Now, RayMew is a pairing that is being enforced on the viewers for the past 3 episodes now and the last episode shows a pretty good view of how as characters, Mew and Ray view each other.

For Ray, his love is unconditional for Mew because it correlates with that fact that Mew was the only reason who made him stay in this world - who made him believe that he deserves the love from his friends, the love which he didn't get from his parents or any potential partners. But potential partners were never in the scene because Mew was Ray's emergency contact. Their relationship runs deep and however much you may think, even if Ray thinks Mew's love for him could be more as a friend, he also believes that because as he is so damn shitty and a fucking burden to society, he can't ask for more from Mew for the sake of their friendship and his esteem. He keeps entertaining the idea of them as partners several times, but, until ep 7, Mew has never entertained the idea that his love for Ray will be any worthy of more than a friend. Because, Mew wants to continue making the boundary and keep the control, according to me.

Now, as Mew has entertained the idea, i am interested how it pans out in the next episode (not very promising tho). just linking this out here because its so fucking interesting.

TopBoston

We will mainly take here Boston's viewpoint since Top gave up on this since the very beginning and became firm with it post ep 3. He gives no flying fucks about the possiblity of it. Top considers Boston to be a one night stand and a one night stand only.

Boston, as has mentioned so many times, considers Top to be top tier; the person who gives him something as close to love because as an Machiavellian prince (refer here) Boston considers Top to be the only worthy competitor in his reign. And he really doesn't care if he hurt others feeling. Mind you, Boston has been the most truthful to himself, maybe not to others. And as a prince, his love speaks volume through keeping them in their reign because ultimately Boston wants power and control in his arena. That's the fucking politics of it. And Top is the only worthy contender who can damage his reign. Hence, he wants the top tier power as much as possible, and only Top can give him that. Him fucking off to America, that can easily happen through Top, because he is a very well known hotel chain owner/manager. So, Boston wants his loves, because he very well thinks he deserves it and he accepts it as much as he can. But, he also knows that for him, he can't make this love into a weakness, because that will be out of his control.

Boston however, as Mew so incredibly pointed out, is gullible. Ray couldn't see through him, but, MEW FUCKING DID. That is why even though Boston didn't consider Mew as his competitor, he was fucking jealous of him because Mew got Top and was chosen over eventually by Top. Mew has the power that Boston didn't think he had, till now. And tbh, Mew is now winning the game, despite his insecurities with his relationship with Top.

THE WAR HAS BEGUN, MY FRIENDS.

SandRay

God, I have so many feeling for these babies. Where to start? Okay so, you know in second episode, Sand built that boundary with Ray regarding friends with benefits? Well, it has backfired on him. COMPLETELY.

As ep 8 preview says, I love how Sand realised the fact that they were never friends to begin with, for even to have made that boundary to make sense. Sand is a pathetic little man, as so many of you have pointed out, but, why is he the way he is?

His incredible nature to be so caring of others around him has made him feel like its his responsibility to take care of everything. His mother, his business, his money and job, his style and even his fucking roommate. Now, Sand is so emotionally attached to this damsel in distress, pathetic burden to society (affectionate) Ray, that even before they became friends, he made Ray his responsibility. Sand has no right to ask for love from Ray, because they are not friends, lest friends with benefits to ask for any care towards himself. But he selfishly asks, for the first time.

Because, as a person who keeps on taking care of others endlessly, it is harder for them to ask for the care and love they expect and deserve from whom they love while keeping their self esteem intact. And for Ray to completely shut him down at that time, and him still following Ray while he was drunk, makes him so much real because you feel responsible for that person. You are their emergency staff, even if they don't consider you to be.

While Ray comes from another perspective itself. He initially wanted to know Sand more as a person, because he is a person who wanted to explore the life beyond what has been given to him. He is a spoilt brat, and when he realised that he can't buy Sand's love, he explored it with him.

But because I think Ray believes that Sand will always be for him, even when he does asshole-ish behaviour (because thats where everyone leaves) he has taken Sand for granted. The backup option. Anything goes wrong with his ideal relationship, he can always go running back to Sand, because Sand has become his addiction.

Apart from drugs and alcohol, Mew and Sand are the only people he can keep coming back to. For Mew, it is only at a cost. At some conditions, only for something personal. While maybe Ray wants explore that possibility with Sand, but he is afraid. He is afraid that Sand will go away. just as Mew did. A person who can only consider him a friend and nothing more. Even if he wants to explore that possibility with both of them, loving them at the same time, he can't make people his priority, because he doesn't know how to do that. Nor does he think he's worthy of it. So, he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves off Sand's love and care.

I am interested to see how it pans out for these idiots once his relationship with Mew falls out. I am concerned for Ray so much. Give him access to therapy and rehab soon pls. Sand and Ray's father I think are going in that direction, with this speculation by @prapaiwife.

BostonNick

Now, our final pair has been the most interesting couple in this show so far. Why do I say that?

Well, for Nick, Boston is one of the top-tier gays. As pointed out by Boston, he likes bad guys. And lets be honest, Boston, most dishonest, cunning bastard out there. So, Nick believes that he will be that gay who lands the top tier dick and fix this problem. Right?

Wrong. Nick very well knows this won't happen. Still he keeps hoping for more as Boston doesn't know how to not be a hypocrite as a prince. He keeps giving some here and there false hope through his actions, not words which makes Nick believe he's special, but he's not. He takes whatever love he thinks Boston gives him, despite him not being his number one, despite Boston cheats on him over and over again. He just wants whatever of love as actions that Boston can give to him because that proves wrong all of his low self esteem. So he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves because he can't ask for more in a bed friend relationship. With Boston's guard so up and his will to leave the country, Nick knows he can't do anything but try to make him stay. Even if that's a 99% chance of not happening. He tries because he doesn't want Boston to hate him. He only wants him to love him. Because for him, thats enough.

The sadness keeps on piling up for these outsider, hard working roommates, doesn't it?

While, for Boston, he is nothing but a rebound from the angst of not getting Top. He wants a serious relationship, and maybe, he does look for it in Nick, maybe not, but he doesn't love Nick. He doesn't love Top either. For Boston, Nick is a toy he wanted to play with.

Because he cares about his reign, his reputation. And, Nick realised that. Hence, Mew contacted him and Nick gave that information to Mew. They will bring Boston down together because Nick somewhere believes he can get him back.

But Nick babygirl, he doesn't love you bub. He doesn't. And, it hurts so much. Because Boston keeps on taking from you, whatever he deserves. And that is your care for him, for granted. He is a leech bub. He is.

Now, how does it all link to ephemerality and control?

Well, love itself is impermanent. It doesn't stay.

The world knows this and still we chase it. And at an age as our characters, we chase love and freedom like anything. In order to gain control. We take up jobs, more courses to learn, experiment with love and relationships, with people because the time is ticking and people say now is the age. We break hearts and get it broken.

As P'Jojo says "This show is Hurt People Hurt People", tell me who hasn't been hurt by love, by control and by living at its time? And also by missing out each of these experiences because you were lonely with your own life and burdens?

We accept the hate and love the life gives us, because this is what we think we deserve out of this. And tbh, these feelings, are never permanent. They keep changing with time, and that's the only thing thats permanent.

Change is the only thing that remains permanent.

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da-birb-writes-sometimes · 8 months

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hi dove!!! i love your new event, the vibe is so fun and relaxing (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ could i request floyd with no.8? for backups maybe leona with no.9 or jamil with no.2? thanks!! as always don't overwork yourself ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

side note: pls no angst the pain from last time is still here(⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

Fairytale Scene; Leona Kingscholar

Content; Fluff, gender-neutral reader, some really soft Leona

Word Count; 650+

Author's Note; Had to use your first backup, as Floyd got snatched up, but I hope you enjoy this fluffy scene and soft lion! [Damn, those eels go fast]

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

An old vinyl was playing slowly on the record player, a slow jazz ensemble letting out low notes. It was pleasant, the calm music mixing with the gentle crashing of the waves coming onto shore, and the filtered sunlight coming through the linen curtains and warming up your skin. There was no rushing, no tasks that needed to be urgently done, and no one to boss you around. You could definitely get used to this.

“You’re looking right at home there,” a soft chuckle broke you from your relaxed spell. Leona was standing in front of you, giving you a curious look. “Like a house cat sunbathing.”

You rolled your eyes, “Fitting coming from you.” You stretched out, and rolled off of the chaise you were lounging on.

Leona sighed in mock annoyance, but he could get used to seeing you without the weight of all your responsibilities resting on your shoulders. You looked — and by all the lounging you had been doing since you had both arrived — and felt lighter as well. And in the golden sunlight? Leona swore that you were glowing.

You lazily walked over to him, placing your arms around his neck. “Is something bothering you?”

Bothering me? “No, nothing at the moment,” he said quietly. What was there to be bothered by? The two of you were together, and there was no one around to annoy the both of you. “And you?”

You hummed along to the song playing, “Nope!~” You let out a breathy chuckle and started to gently sway back and forth to the music. “Would you care to join me for this dance… your majesty?~”

Leona groaned at the nickname; you only brought it out when you were feeling teasing. He didn’t mind though, since it didn’t hold the weight it did at the palace, or the mocking tone that others sometimes used. You just were being a teasing menace and a cute one at that.

Letting out a showy sigh he adjusted your hands so that he was holding one and the other was placed on his waist. “I suppose I can spare one for you,” he said lowly, voice barely above a grumble.

The two of you swayed gently together to the soft music, gentle swaying, and long, slow, looping circles around the room. You were still humming the non-existent lyrics to the song, and Leona hummed softly from time to time as well, adding to the melody. Never did he think that he would end up in such a scene; dancing with someone he loved so dearly in something that he could only explain as a fairytale scene. It was soft, domestic, tender, and filled with such innocent love. All things that Leona had convinced himself that he didn’t want. But then you came into his life. You threw a wrench into his life, but what a lovely wrench it turned out to be.

The song came to an end far too soon, and the two of you came to a slow standstill, still in each other’s loose embrace. Neither of you made a move to let go, instead you both just stood there, hand in hand, your hand on his waist, and his on yours.

“You make for a good dance partner,” you chuckle.

Leona raised a brow, “And are you surprised by that?”

You bring his hand to your lips, placing a kiss on the inside of his wrist while looking at him through your lashes. “No, it’s just endearing is all.”

Leona had received kisses from you before, both soft and passionate, but this one actually made his heart flutter. He didn’t know how to feel about it, but he did know that the way you looked at him just then… he wanted you to look at him with such adoration again and again and again. It was addictive.

He brought your hand to his lips, and returned the kiss, letting it linger so he could feel your steady pulse. Perhaps the two of you should come out here more often if this was what happened… Leona could spend the rest of his life with you in this picturesque moment.

~~~~~~~

Tags: @eynnwwyjth, @inkybloom-luv, @leonistic, @savanaclaw1996, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

#dove does events #follower event #twst #twst x reader #twst x gn reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x gn reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar x gn reader #pspspspspspsp come here lion kissers; come get your mans #sorry rinna; looks like you're not getting eels from gacha or for your request u_u damn bastards #may i offer dancing with leona instead? some soft lion man hours? yes????#there's something about wrist kisses that gets me so i had to do it to leona; gods imagine giving him such softness i don't even simp 4 him #and it is ruining my brain; i hope this heals your broken heart after gacha and writing that angst piece rinna #lion man take rinna by the hand; lead rinna to the land that you understand. [dove's remix of Ocean Man by Ween for rinna & leona]#scheduled post; idk if i'll be awake yet when this goes live; hopefully it posts UNLIKE LAST TIME; took 4 minutes to show up

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starrystevie · 1 year

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eddie's new years resolution is to stop running away from things that are scary, and steve harrington scares him.

steve with his hair and his body and his charm, all the things that everyone knows and admires him for. but it's more like the things other people don't get at a glance that scare eddie. the way he smiles softly when he's endeared by the kids or the way he subconsciously makes his way to the front of their group to always be the first line of protection or the way he offers up his couch to eddie the second he hears he isn't sleeping.

it all adds up to steve being utterly terrifying because eddie can't control the way he's falling in love with him. his heart beats wildly in his chest when steve's smile is directed towards him. his lungs feel too tight when steve teases him, forcing broken laughs out of him to try and kickstart his chest to take heaving breaths. his skin feels like a live wire anytime steve so much as brushes his arm. he gets lightheaded by the half clavin klein cologne and half steve harrington smell when they sit close on his tiny couch as they watch old reruns.

but eddie isn't running away this year, so he faces steve head on. he flirts with him at every opportunity he gets, pressing up into his space with wide grins and hooded eyes. he lets his touches linger along with his heavy looks and waits for the day that steve will hopefully flirt back.

steve's new years resolution is to stop being such a relentless flirt, and man, is he dying to flirt back with eddie.

it's all robin fault, really. she pokes fun at him enough for sweet talking anything that moves and steve finally had enough, blurting out one day that he'd give it up for new years. he knew it was a mistake the second he said it, but he wasn't going to back down.

and it's easy enough for the first three days of 1987. steve sticks to his guns and only puts on the harrington charm for old mrs. hasslebeck who comes to rent a different fred astaire movie each morning. steve is genuinely proud of himself for not caving and even prouder when robin gawks at him in surprise when he doesn't have a date that upcoming friday.

then eddie munson has to ruin it all. eddie, with his big brown eyes that light up when he talks to steve about anything exciting, his hands flapping around animatedly. eddie, who keeps leaning up into his face with his pretty pretty smile, wide and bright, as he lays the pick up lines on thick.

it makes steve blush, his heart racing, frazzled little chuckles the only response he has when all he really wants to do is press back into eddie. to loop a finger into his belt loop to tug their bodies together with a smirk pulling at his cheeks. to tuck a stray curl behind eddie's ear and watch as it makes him blush in a way that matches steve's.

but he has robin whispering in his ear, like a tiny angel or devil on his shoulder, reminding him of his resolution. so steve grits his teeth and puts up with it all, the looks and lines and touches. he files them all away in the back of his mind and counts down the days until it'll be 1988 and he can give in to his wants and desires and finally flirt back.

if he's being honest with himself, steve made it further than he expected.

it's june and the sun is making it miserably hot in hawkins. the party's all over at his place, kids jumping into pool with cannonballs that splash nancy as she sunbathes and robin as she reads, and eddie's sitting next to steve because that's their new normal. their chairs are pushed close together and eddie's playing with a fraying end of steve's chair's cushion.

eddie's fingers keep brushing over the bit of exposed skin at the edge of steve's trunks and it's driving him insane. he's doing his eddie-typical move where he's leaning in just enough to have his breath tickling steve's face as he tell him teasingly cute things over and over. calling him things like stevie and honey and darling in that sticky sweet drawl that steve loves. letting his eyes linger on steve's lips before flicking them back up, looking at steve with adoration and a hint of mischief.

and he can't help it, okay? not when eddie's looking at him like that. he can't take it anymore.

"you gotta stop doing that, man." steve watches as hurt and confusion flashes across eddie's face before settling into something blank. eddie leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, looking anywhere but steve.

"shit, i didn't mean-" steve starts floundering. eddie's eyes make their way back to his and he feels like he's pleading to get his point across. "i can't."

eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes before leveling steve with a sad smirk, closed off and scared. "i get it harrington. sorry i came on too strong. hint taken."

"no it's not- it's not that."

eddie perks up ever so slightly, his fingers tensing over his own bicep as he resettles in his chair. "then what's the issue?"

steve can't help the blush that crawls up his neck, hopes he can blame it on the hot june sun instead of how he's thinking about eddie's fingers brushing against his thigh just a minute earlier. he brings a hand up to scrub down his face before letting out an exasperated sigh.

"i want," his voice is low enough that only eddie can hear him, "to flirt back so badly, you have no idea. but i can't 'cause i told myself that i'd stop and that '87 would be the year that i didn't flirt with everyone just because it was fun, made it my resolution and everything. but god, eddie. you have no idea how hard that is around you."

and then eddie's laughing. it's loud and sharp, which startles steve into laughing along with him. they're bent over, clutching their sides and the kids and nancy and robin are paying them no mind as eddie slings his arms around steve's neck to drag him into a kiss.

it's messy, teeth clacking and noses bending awkwardly and they're both still laughing which makes it even worse. or better, however one would look at that. steve pulls aways and keeps his hands wrapped tightly around eddie's forearms as he looks at his still smiling face.

"okay, wow. hi?"

"steve."

"yes?"

"we are so stupid." eddie darts in, presses another quick kiss to steve's lips and pulls away just as quickly. "it was my resolution to try and not run away from everything. you know, the scary stuff."

steve's smile is crinkling his cheeks as he furrows his brows to look at eddie. "am i... scary?"

"terrifying."

they push their chairs even closer after that. they wrap their arms around each other and have toes pressing into calves and whisper cheesy pick up lines into each other's ears, ones that steve's been saving up for months. and when robin looks over with a shit-eating grin like she won a bet, steve has no problem untangling his fingers from where their entwined with eddie's to flip her the bird.

#don't ask me where this came from and why it took like 4 hours for me to write #i cant help it im distracted by rewatching season one #steddie #steddie headcanon #eddie munson #steve harrington #my writing #stranger things fic #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steddie drabble #1k

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sapphire-weapon · 17 days

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I think Eagleone is canon because in the game something really happens between them and it’s very noticeable, but I’m wondering why you consider them canon?

Because the romantic nature of their relationship is baked into the thematic framework of the narrative. In order for RE4make to achieve what it's trying to do with its storytelling, Leon and Ashley's relationship has to be read as romantic.

Resident Evil 4 Remake is Resident Evil 4 re-imagined as a fairy tale. Survival Horror is the genre of the gameplay of RE4make, but Horror Fantasy is the genre of its story.

RE4make contains fantastical elements that were not present in OG, including but not limited to:

Leon and Ada's plaga hallucinations (Ada's especially looks like it has a magical effect)

The magical blue fire that keeps the Armadura at bay

The cursed black water in the castle (irrespective of whether it's tied to the mold in RE7; it's still attributed to turning men mad and is treated like a magical reagent during the ritual)

Ashley getting possessed -- not Saddler using her plaga to manipulate her body (which he also does in OG) but actually physically possessing her and speaking through her mouth and seeing through her eyes

New enemies that invoke the imagery of Minotaurs

On top of that, one of the major themes of this story is: folklore, story books, and fairy tales. We see it show up not just in the characters but also in the lore of the world itself. Just to name a few examples off the top of my head, we have:

Luis's parallels with and direct verbal references to Don Quixote

The folklore of "madness" spread around the villagers that Mendez tried to quell panic of

Historic folklore from when the people of Valdelobos thought of Las Plagas as demons

Salazar's invocation of Pulgarcito (which is a Spanish fairy tale)

Literal storybooks that you find throughout the game, like the one in Mendez's house and the holy scripture (complete with a colored illustration like a child's picture book) in the castle

And, most of all -- and, most importantly for our purposes -- "The Knight and the Princess Fair" allegory that gets repeated over and over throughout the game centering entirely on Leon and Ashley.

And it's not just Salazar being a crazy asshole, either. Luis also refers to Leon as "Prince Charming," beckons him to the ballroom, and tells him not to be late for the dance.

The story itself also has an element of "true love conquers all" in it, as both Leon and Ashley literally pull off the impossible. Leon manages to fight off Saddler's influence (something that we've seen no other character manage to do -- and Leon's plaga is very advanced at this point) while he's holding Ashley in his arms. And tiny little 120lb Ashley manages to heft all 200+lbs of Leon and his gear up onto Luis's surgical chair all by herself in order to remove his plaga. They saved each other for each other and only got through this ordeal because the other person was there with and for them.

This narrative is then reinforced by overtly romantic imagery, like Leon appearing to Ashley bathed in moonlight, and Ashley wistfully looking to him off towards the horizon, hands clasped to her chest, as embers float around her like fireflies.

It also invokes the imagery of classic romance stories and fairy tales, including:

Several literal princess carries

Prince Phillip about to break the spell on Sleeping Beauty with true love's first kiss

The Prince approaching Snow White's altar

Leon kneeling before Ashley like a knight does his queen

Romeo and Juliet's very famous balcony scene

Leon extending a hand to Ashley as though he's asking her to dance, not once but twice

And in case all of that wasn't enough -- if you somehow still didn't catch it, Capcom included a set of matching alternate costumes for Leon and Ashley literally called "Romantic."

I don't know how much more explicit they could've been about this, short of having a big, sweeping kiss scene -- especially when you consider that absolutely none of the above was present in OG. None of those scenes happen in OG at all.

And this isn't even taking into account that the devs restructured the plot of OG to follow the story outline of a romance novel beat-for-beat -- nor the overt sexual imagery associated with specific lines of dialogue between Leon and Ashley. And even if you ignore the fairy tale aspect all together, Leon and Ashley's relationship is intrinsically tied to the theme of teamwork, and there's a romantic element about how that is portrayed, too.

So, sure. You could look at RE4make as a story about a man who's just doing his job and saves the president's daughter because idk he's a badass and that's just what he does. And he overcomes his trauma about Raccoon City because he actually saved a person's life finally, and it wouldn't have mattered who it was; it just happened to be Ashley.

Sure.

You could.

But you miss the fucking point of what the storyteller(s) were trying to do.

You miss the intention of the developers paying homage to RE4OG being such a huge part of so many people's childhoods by turning the story into a fairy tale.

You miss the parallels of Leon becoming a broken husk of a person because of failing re: Ada, and Leon finding his smile and his kindness again through Ashley.

It leaves you with a shallow story where shit just kind of happens and Leon's a cool dude who overcomes the odds all on his own because he's so cool and strong.

And you'll never be able to convince me that that's how the devs wanted their story to be read. Not with the deliberate layering of themes and imagery and allegory that they've folded into the narrative.

And you'll never convince me that all of this was just a coincidence, either.

Eagleone is canon -- just not canon in the way that most people tend to think of it.

Because the one thing missing from RE4make's fairy tale is that Leon and Ashley don't live happily ever after. They don't end this game a couple, and they'll never be together in the future.

Because while RE4make was a fairy tale, it was the nightmare horror version of one.

And horror stories don't get to have happy endings. That was true for Ethan and Mia in the literal storybook that was RE:Village, and it's true here for Leon and Ashley.

But that doesn't make the romance between these two characters any less real.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #eagleone #meta analysis #this might be the most important eagleone post i ever write #i also never thought i'd compare leon and ashley to ethan and mia #but here we are LMAO #hopefully this was worth the almost three hours it took me to make

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hood-ex · 1 month

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Brain is malfunctioning bc I'm looking at a 23k fic, and the author said they wrote it in 4 hours... 4 hours?? What do you mean?? Your mind has really gotta be in the roughest draft of rough draft modes to be able to churn that out within that time.

How many words per hour can y'all get out? I mean, if I'm booking it and don't have to consider what I'm writing, I could probably get 2k in an hour, but that's generally not the case. I hem and haw over the details so much that it could easily take me 4 hours just to get 2500 words or so. Maybe even less words if I'm really struggling.

#if i could spit out 23k in 4 hours consistently i'd be writing novels all the damn time like whaaaat #it took me 3 months to write 22k for one fic 😭 and i feel like i was working on it pretty consistently at the time #i'm just like... 4 hours?? huuuh??#did you do hella pre-planning for that or is your brain just that magical??

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oblivionight · 8 months

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No one asked, but...

Since I can't sleep and I feel like shit this very fine morning, I will be recommending my favorite fics/oneshots for the bsd fandom... and they're all from the same author just because. Their name is Oxalisalis on Ao3 and you can also find them on instagram with the same user. I'll try to keep the list short with my favorites:

Circle of Praise: Remember seeing flustered Dazai in that one Wan! episode? Well this is exactly that. The ADA has a very unique way to lift the morale of their low spirited agents. Atsushi, after being on the receiving end of it, finds out Dazai has never experienced it and comes up with a plan to make sure he does. And it works. Sleep Remedy: You like the Buraiha Trio? You'll love this one. Oda has trouble sleeping, Dazai can help with that. Ango has trouble sleeping? Dazai can help with that too. Whats better than holding hands, amirite?? Note: Sheep Song is the companion piece to this, pure Soukoku shenanigans and hand holding. The city where the wind blows: 22 year old Dazai meets 15 year old Oda. After a time traveling accident, Oda is simply trying to find his way back but he crosses paths with the one and only, Osamu Dazai. Note: This one made me cry at the end. Maybe it'll make you cry too so beware. Revise these lines: For Dazai, living might be far more terrifying than dying, but there are people who will catch him when he falls. A BEAST ending rewrite in which Atsushi makes it in time, Dazai says the right things for once, and things aren’t as broken as they seemed. And finally, my personal #1 favorite: A Trifling Distance: A strange ability manages to bring Odasaku back for one day, and for one day only, Dazai is able to bond him. Note: Oh, this one hurt. This one made me cry. You'll need tissues for this one too.

If you haven't read their works, please do so. I'm not just being biased here, the dynamics between the characters are some of the best characterizations I've seen. They don't water down Soukoku, or really, any pairing. They're all canon compliant (mostly?) and are written beautifully.

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suddencolds · 6 days

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#delete later #another journal entry 📝 for the void #i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵‍💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough #i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks #i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better #results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but #it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as #blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply #respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and #weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T

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vanillaflowerstuff · 9 months

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i am losing my mind!! help

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #crowley #anthony j crowley #my art #fanart #my head is full of Thoughts #it took me like 4 hours to calm down last night #not sure about if i like this picture or not #but i can't work on it any more i have to write an essay

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iamsweden · 2 days

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Welp, I couldn't wait any longer!

Summary: In between each loop, Siffrin remembers a little piece of the life they forgot.

#sweden rants #isat #in stars and time #i woke up today and chose VIOLENCE #This took me like 4 hours to write. If you see a mistake no you didn't.#next time I swear I'm gonna write something nice and happy for Sif

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simandy · 2 years

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First Encounter

Terrified Until I stared into your eyes Made me start to realize The possibilities.

#no im not making my book into a sims story #not that anyone asked for it im telling MYSELF im not doing it #these 6 images were 44 and they took me 6 hours form YESTERDAY AND TODAY EACH #anyway this book is a circus and i am the clown #here for the reverse beauty and the beast but beauty is a scientist obsessed with story and the beast is a glowing ice cube #raelion #the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 #the sims 4 edit #ts4 edit #sims 4 edit #oc #writing

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luciehercndale · 3 months

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Kell and Lila + Instagram (enlarge for better reading)

#listen I found these models and I thought they were perfect to use for these fake posts. They look so gorgeous. Took me hours but I did it #and I'm writing a one shot where you know what's the bet they do lmao they fucked with my head #adsom #kell maresh #lila bard #delilah bard #kell x lila #shades of magic #a darker shade of magic #a gathering of shadows #a conjuring of light #threads of power #the fragile threads of power #tftop #my posts 4

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reds-skull · 5 months

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Not Alive, Nor Dead

[PREV PART] [AO3]

Okay, maybe I felt a little bad for leaving y'all on such a cliffhanger, so here's the next chapter, special delivery.

Ghost’s footsteps echo on the mall’s floor, his muscles screaming at him to stop and rest.

He ignores them, not like he can feel it much. His entire being is focused on finding Johnny.

While he was walking down south, he kept having this intrusive thought to open Limbo again. Just to check if… he could find a face there, ink-covered and muted, of Johnny.

He growls. He doesn’t entertain the thought.

Ghost starts shouting for Johnny, hoping for the best case scenario, where his comms are the only thing damaged on his person.

He should’ve known to never hope.

After time stopped having any meaning, the minutes of silence piling up like heavy rocks on his chest, Ghost starts truly fearing Johnny might be gone.

He sees the south exit, the doors closed shut. Something numb spreads through him.

Ghost heaves, stare fixated on the damning evidence that Soap never left the building, when he hears a groan.

“...ugh…” a familiar voice pierces him.

Ghost turns to it, heart finally beating, and he finds Johnny on the floor, body struggling to move.

He hesitates only for a moment before breaking into a run towards him, the blood burning from his chest to his legs, heralding the message ‘he’s alive! He’s alive!’

Ghost slides to a stop, about to take his Sergeant in his arms and never let go, when he sees the blood.

Soap’s face, contorted in pain, covered in dark red on the left. Ghost shakily turns his head to the side, watching as blood oozes out of the bullet wound… his temple is pierced. He turns him the other way, a matching gash on his right.

Soap groans weakly, and Ghost lifts him slightly to let his head rest on his thighs. He knows he’s cold, or he feels so at least, but the floor is colder.

His breath stutters thinking of where the bullet went through. He said middle was a few things… Soap might not wake up until he heals.

Ghost brushes a hand over Johnny’s hair, some of it matted with blood. He carefully untangles the ends when the man stirs.

“... Johnny? You with me?” he mumbles softly, and it still sounds too loud for his ears.

Soap’s eyes scrunch under his brows, “urgh…fuck… ma heid’s minced…” his beautiful eyes open to look up, blinking to focus. His face is contorted in confusion.

Ghost can feel himself smile in relief, “morning”.

Johnny blinks a little more before abruptly pushing himself off Ghost, growling with a gravely voice, “the fuck are you doin’?!”

Ghost instantly crawls back, his heart dropping, “shit, did I hurt you-”

“Who teh fuck are ye?!” Soap shouts, glaring at him.

“Wha- you don’t-” Ghost sputters, at a loss.

The Sergeant ignores him, clutching at his head, “where are we…? Where did you bring me?!” he seethes through clenched teeth.

What? He doesn’t remember the mission-

He doesn’t remember.

The bullet…

“How old are you?” Ghost hopes against hope he’s wrong.

“The fuck’s it to ye?” Soap snarls. He sighs a moment later, looking away with contempt, “seventeen.”

Fuck… Ghost can feel his hands shaking. Johnny just went back ten years mentally. Of course he doesn’t remember the mission, or him.

He doesn’t remember his own death.

Soap seems to search for something, unsheathing a knife he found strapped to his shoulder, and clumsily jumps at Ghost.

“Listen here you creepy bastard, ye better tell me what the fuck is going on before I make ye!” he waves the knife in front of his eyes.

Ghost’s eyes haven’t left Johnny’s. He never looked at him with such… hate.

Ghost directs the knife’s point away from his eyes, “I’m a Lieutenant under the British army, you better settle down, soldier.” it hurts to talk to Johnny like a stranger, but he can’t risk him deeming himself an enemy.

Soap immediately backs away, surprised, “ah-sorry, sir. I just… I cannae remember shite…” he trails off.

Ghost sighs, “we were on a mission, it went to shit. You hit your head at some point, probably have temporary amnesia. Sit down before you hurt yourself further.”

That seems to calm Johnny, and he carefully lowers himself to the ground.

“What do you remember, Sergeant?”

“Sergeant?! Fuck, how much did I forget?!”

Bloody hell, he needs to be more careful with what he fucking spouts. “It will come back to you, Johnny.”

Soap frowns, “stop callin’ me that. I think I would’ve remembered a fella like ye, with the fuckin’ Halloween getup ye got there.”

‘You’d think that, wouldn’t you.’ Ghost bitterly thinks to himself.

He sighs, “talk to me then, tell me what you do remember.”

Soap tenses, “I don’t even know yer fucking name, and I’m supposed to tell ye everything?” there’s something behind the anger, that Ghost recognises from many weeks ago, in a dark barrack room, lit only by furious fire.

Johnny is scared.

“Simon Riley.”

Soap stops, and looks up. For a moment, Ghost can almost pretend he knows him, with the way Johnny’s eyes light up in reverence, somehow knowing how this is truly the first time he’s heard that name.

But the heavy fog of nonrecognition over his eyes is not clearing away. Still, Johnny starts talking, “I… I joined the army a year ago. Ma was furious.” He starts, “wait, no, that was… two years ago?”

Ghost inhales shakily. Soap moved to eighteen now?

“Go on.”

The Sergeant leans back, wincing as he places his head gently against the wall, “I… tried for the SAS. They told me I’m too young.”

For some reason, imagining young Soap getting rejected makes him huff.

“I went on a few missions… oh.”

Soap’s face pales, “I… I remember the first person I killed. He… killed my squad mate. I…” He looks ashamed, “for a moment I was proud that I managed to shoot him first but - fuck, you must think I’m fuckin’ pathetic.” he looks at Ghost, the anger in his eyes mellowing.

“No shame in feeling guilt, shows you’re a good man.” he tells him again, “if it helps, I’ve killed more people than you can imagine.”

Johnny dead pans him, looking unimpressed, “aye, sir, very comforting.” he huffs sarcastically, before he gets that far away look he wears when memories flood his mind, “tried for SAS again…” He looks up, smile melting Ghost’s heart, “I got in! I actually got in! Youngest to ever do it!”

“Good man, John, knew you can do it.” the name acrid in his mouth, but he wants to encourage this version of Soap. Despite everything, he can’t help but be fond of him.

Soap chuckles, “feck off, Simon, I bet ye already knew it.”

Oh, his heart is a treacherous beast, with the way it’s banging at his chest at the sound of Johnny saying his name, wrapping around smiling lips.

The Scot quiets down, continuing to observe the memories trickling in, “after my first mission they started calling me… Soap? Shite, please tell me the name didn’t stick.”

Ghost has the pleasure to inform Soap, “you’re actually quite proud of that one.”

Soap grimaces, “awa an’ bile yer head!”

“Speak English”

Johnny gives him a shit-eating grin, “means fuck off, sir”

“Much better. How old are you, Soap?”

The Scot contemplates his answer for a moment, “...twenty. Still going on a lot of missions, I’m studying to be a demolition expert- I am a demolition expert.” he corrects himself mid-sentence, “fuck, blowing shit up is so fun, do I still do that?”

Ghost bitter-sweetly reminisces over what lays in Johnny’s future, “you’ll see.”

Soap pouts, “cryptic bastard… I still don’t remember ye.” He starts getting up, Ghost immediately closing in to fuss over the Scot, “stay down!”

“Shouldn’t we go to exfil, sir? I can walk…” he raises an eyebrow at him.

He has a point, but Ghost worries Johnny’ll get overwhelmed when he learns he knows no one around him. He barely dealt with him without getting into a fight.

Then again, Ghost might be the most uninviting person on earth. Even fucking Shepherd looks more friendly than a giant man wearing a skull mask.

“It’s not your legs I’m worried about, Soap. Let’s not jostle your noggin around, alright?” he pushes lightly at his shoulders, making him slide back down. “Now, tell me what else you’ve got going for you.”

Johnny scrunches his face in concentration, and Ghost watches as terror slowly paints itself over his features. He wants to ask why before he remembers himself.

Soap is likely 21 now. 6 years ago-

“I died.” the flames on his fingers light for the first time since Ghost found him. “I saw moths, they were glowing like they were on fire…a Reaper… it told me…”

Johnny takes a deep breath, staring right at Ghost’s eyes, making his heart stop, “my team is dead. It saved me, not them, because of what I wanted.”

Bright fire flickers in the edges of his vision, but Ghost can’t look away from Johnny’s eyes, the emotions passing through them a window to his mind.

“It asked me what I wanted” Soap is barely breathing now, whispering the tale of his horrible second birth, “I said I wanted to live. It said…”

“I wanted revenge. On the man who killed my friends. He-”

Something dark makes itself known on Soap’s face, the flames now covering his entire forearms, white-hot and wild, “Konchar.” his blue eyes wide, he looks at Ghost with such hatred he feels something akin to fear.

“He killed them, Simon.” a voice so twisted comes from Soap’s mouth, “he murdered them, I needed to destroy him. I-”

Johnny’s face slackens, all rage replaced by agony, his eyes watering, and Ghost sharply inhales.

“...Soap?”

Johnny pushed himself away from ghost, further into the wall, mumbling, “n-no, no I couldn’t have- I didn’t- I didn’t want this!” he starts hyperventilating.

“Johnny” Ghost goes to place a hand on his shoulder, worry overruling panic, “you have to breathe-”

Blue eyes, dripping with little teardrops, plead Ghost for forgiveness, “I’m- I’m a monster - How could I do this-” Johnny chokes on sobs, “why did it choose me?! It should’ve let me die!” He curls on himself, shaking, yelling, “IT SHOULD’VE KILLED ME! IT SHOULD’VE-”

Simon took hold of Johnny, smothering his screams in his chest, wrapping arms around his body, as if he could protect him from the onslaught of the worst John MacTavish has ever known.

As if Simon was ever successful at protecting that which he holds dear.

Johnny grabs at his shirt, the flames burning so hot they scorch through his clothes, right down to his chest, to his lungs, to his heart.

Simon doesn’t let go, even after the fire dies down, the wailing dims, and Johnny is no longer shaking. He doesn’t let go, until Johnny pipes up from his place near his chest.

“Ghost?”

He relaxes his hold on him, letting Johnny lift his head, eyes red-rimmed and face watery. Only when he sees recognition in his eyes does Simon realize, that he never told Johnny his callsign.

“Johnny?” he gently says, damn hope making itself known in his words.

Soap gives him a weak smile, full of sorrow, but so tender, Simon wants to sear it into his brain, “I remember everything. You. The mission. I…” He rubs lightly at his right temple, the gunshot wound fully healed, “one of those weird things shot me right before I escaped. Did you… with Limbo…?”

Simon takes in a deep breath, with the way he finally found the Johnny he was looking for, “I did. Barely got them reigned in.”

“And Gaz…?”

“Secured with the kidnapped revenants, called in exfil for us.”

He liked the relief on Johnny’s face, “thank Reapers.”

“Rather you thank me, Sergeant.” Simon grumbles, smiling when he hears Johnny’s laugh, and feels his fist tap his shoulder.

“Awa an’ bile yer heid, sir”

“Oh, I know that one.”

“Ye feckin’ better”

Garrick spots them when they both make their way to exfil, their helo already waiting for them, and sprints at them at full speed. Ghost has half a mind to dodge him when Gaz decided to collide with Soap instead.

“FUCK BOTH OF YOU! WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING ON COMMS?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!”

“I’m sorry, Gaz…” Soap mumbles under the weight of the Sergeant.

Gaz turns to glare at Ghost, “you! You’re the one that needs to apologize!”

Ghost huffs, shifting his weight uncomfortably. He really should’ve radioed Garrick that his Sergeant is alive, but he was… a little preoccupied with his heart splattering on the floor.

He looks behind Gaz, at two people laying inside the helo, “the revenants need medical?”

“You will need medical after I’m through with you-” Gaz starts.

“Sergeant”

“I called in a medic, he said they’ve just been drugged for transport by El Sin Nombre, they’ll wake up in a few hours.”

Ghost nods, “good lad, now” He lifts Johnny up, the poor sod stuck under Garrick, “we’re RTB. I’ve had enough of this fuckin’ mall.”

Soap smirks, “not a fan of shopping, sir?” he jokes, but his tone is flatter than usual.

Ghost looks over Johnny, at the state he was left in, at the sorrow fogging his eyes. He aches to clear it away, but at the moment nothing feels strong enough to bring Soap a wind of change.

“Not in the slightest, Johnny.”

On the helo, Gaz tried to lift their spirits, but both himself and Soap are too busy mulling over the day.

As the minutes pass, Ghost’s feelings take a backseat, and he combs through what Johnny told him.

‘Konchar’...

Something ignites in Ghost. Johnny, unknowingly, has given him what might be a knife to cut the red tape that holds his file together.

He needs to talk to Laswell. If there’s someone that can find out what happened at Johnny’s Reaping by a single name alone, it would be her.

Johnny stares out of the window, tracing the hull of the chopper with a finger, its flame dimmed and mellow.

Ghost wonders what he sees, as the clouds pass by, what his eyes reflect.

And he wonders, just how much pain he hides behind them.

Finally, something is revealed about Soap's Reaping, just in the most painful way I could think of, with him literally reliving the worst day in his life :D

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moonlit-mystery-writer · 21 days

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My Oc's Relationships with the Varia

@childe-of-saulot @myrmyrtheorca

Okay! Fair warning before I start on this oc, there will be a lot on her lol. I've been able to play around with her the longest of my KHR ocs and I have her entwined with a handful of other ocs (That I might post some other day).

Secondly, she's the wife of the Arcobaleno and partially cursed as such, so Viper/Mammon will be done later when/if I ever get around to writing out her dynamics with that group lol.

Thirdly, Fran will be on a different post too if/when I get to the Kokuyo Gang.

Celeste Thorne or Celeste Épine is naturally a very caring and kind woman. If she's not actively taking care of someone, she's inevitably mother hen-ing someone. The type of person who's always wanted to be a parent; someone who's always dreamed a big family. However, her chances of being a mother were mostly dashed when her spouses were cursed into infantile forms and her own age permanently frozen no matter how many years pass. Even so, she did everything to keep herself hopeful and positive for the sake of Aria who she was now raising.

Squalo: Celeste is best friends with Squalo's mother and is his godmother. She was one of the first few people who held him as newborn and basically helped raise him throughout his life. Right there for almost ever major milestone of his life, and for the few she wasn't, she showed up not long after. She adores him with all her heart, having a slight tendency to still view him as the ambitious little boy she knew so long ago; the baby who'd stubbornly fuss in her arms no matter what she did as his mother got some much needed rest.

One thing she still does for him that she's done since he was young is get him at least one birthday gift with his birthstone, something she does for anyone she loves. For Squalo, he has plenty of jewelry and charms with aquamarine, but his favorite (though he'd never fully admit it to her) is the bloodstone locket that has the Varia logo on it with a picture of him and Xanxus inside. She got it for him for his first birthday after he became part of the Varia; the bloodstone being both March's second birthstone and a bad joke about him being an assassin now.

Nowadays, when she visits him, she tends to fuss over his hair a little. Celeste knows full well that he can take care of himself and his hair is doing just fine with how he cares for it, obviously. However, as someone with really long hair herself, she instinctively wants to take care of it for him. In fact, she tends to fuss over his health in general, if he gets snippy about it she will point out all his near-death experiences and how he cut off his own hand when he was young. In her eyes, this perfectly warrants her concerns over him.

Bel/Belphegor: Since she was a little girl and knew she wanted a family of her own, Celeste would go on and on about wanting twins. As she got older and older, she was certain one day she'd have twin sons. And well... She wasn't wrong per se, but the method wasn't exactly conventional at all.

She met Bel and Rasiel when they were 4 years old, or more specifically, 3 years old and 11 months. She was in their kingdom after their father contacted the Giglio Nero Famiglia, wanting to discuss the idea joining the mafia life. She was hesitant at first, but after learning he had young sons and running the idea of the visit past Aria, she couldn't help agreeing. Thus, her and the then 12 year old Aria, ending up staying in their kingdom for almost a year. She thought she'd be getting into a situation where the boys were loved dearly by others and that their father was an actual parent to them. That was not the case and she was so angry for the sake of both boys. If she could've, she would've killed their father a million times over and taken them far away from there. The only thing that held her back is the risk that regicide would pose for Aria and the Giglio Nero Famiglia as a whole.

Bel's first memory of Celeste is of him opening a birthday gift she got him. The toy inside was a simple stuffed animal, but it was a mink stuffed animal. To a little him, the fact she took effort in getting him his specific favorite animal instead of just grabbing him something generic meant the world. To this day he has that toy, far more weathered and aged, but still the same. Its also where his dear box animal, Mink, gets its name from.

Celeste tried everything she could to get the boys to stop fighting each other entirely. She could get them to pause for moments, namely by distracting them with activities or singing for them, but it'd never last for too long. Even so, she never yelled or used force or do anything that could hurt them forever. She'd gentle scold, explain why the actions were wrong, then tend to any injuries that may have happened or would clean them both up.

She did everything she could to make sure both twins knew they were loved, but especially Bel. She knew the pains of being the spare heir(ess) very well herself. She knew what it felt like to have everyone's eyes on an older sibling rather than you. So she made sure he knew that she was always there for him. That her eyes were always on him too, not just on Rasiel. Celeste also did this by giving both unique and kinda silly nicknames. Bel's are: Little prince, mon loup, and Baby-Bel Cheese. She still calls Bel these to this day.

I don't think we're ever given a proper timeline as to when the twins gave each other laxative and worms. So! When Bel got sick after being force fed worms by his brother, Celeste stayed right by his side. She took care of him and made sure he got better instead of force. At the time, he was bitter because she'd done the same for Rasiel a week earlier when he poisoned him. However now, whenever he's sick, he will often find himself missing her soft words and gentle touch and how she'd only leave to get things he needed, to check on Aria, or when he was asleep.

Both of them equally hate when she had to leave and leave him behind. Celeste just also hates that she had to leave Rasiel behind too given she loved both twins as her own after all.

Celeste met him again basically right after he joined the Varia. When Viper had called her and said they had a gift for her, one of her lost babies wasn't what she'd expected. But she was so happy to have Bel back in her life, even if she couldn't be right there for him full time. Of course it hurt to learn Rasiel was gone, but she'd never tell him that directly. And it's not like it was a big surprise to learn given that she was the only trying to actively curb their violent tendencies towards each other, there was a part of her that figured one of them would end up killing the other as much as it hurt to think.

To this day, he's the Varia member she spends the most time with outside of Viper. She loves taking him out to places he wants to see or to events or even just short shopping trips. She wants to give Bel the best sense of normalcy that she can despite his upbringing and the fact both of them are so deeply involved in the mafia. As, she knows he'll never fully be able to get it for himself.

Lussuria and Levi: Combining these two because there's not much to them and her! However, that doesn't mean she doesn't care for them at all. She simply didn't get to know them well until after Xanxus got frozen. Celeste did small thing for them to show she cares for them too. Though, her biggest act involving one of them has to be when she bought Lussuria a whole set of diamond jewelry (necklace, bracelets, and earrings) because he's an April birthday like her.

Xanxus: On all level except physical, Xanxus is her son. That's how she sees it at least. They met at a Vongola party when a then 9 year old Aria dragged a less than happy 9 year old Xanxus right up to her, declaring the boy her new best friend. From that day on, he became her own son in her heart. She hated Timoteo, but she was willing to set all of that completely aside so Xanxus could spend time with her and Aria. She doted on him like any spoiling mother would. She showered him with attention and praise. She helped him with homework and made sure to reward his good grades. But she knew that she wasn't the one he wanted that from.

Celeste wasn't stupid. She knew all the boy wanted was his father's acknowledgement. Part of her wanted to fight Timoteo until he gave Xanxus what he wanted. In her eyes, her baby was more than deserving of it. But she held back, knowing it'd just hurt him if he ever learned she had to step in to get him what he wanted most. And she doesn't want him in pain after all. She didn't know what eventually caused Xanxus to hate Timoteo too, but she supported him.

For her, like with the rest of the mafia world, Xanxus simply disappeared. She mourned like any mother would when their child is missing without a trace. However, it wasn't hard for her to learn the real story from the others she's close to in the Varia. She was pissed, beyond pissed even when she learned. At Timoteo, at the rest of Vongola, at the rest of mafia in general, and even at herself.

To her, she failed Xanxus. She didn't love him enough clearly. She didn't give him everything he needed, that's what caused this. Maybe she should've fought Timoteo into give Xanxus the attention he wanted, even if it hurt him emotionally. Hurt feelings are better than being frozen in ice after all... She should've done more for him...

The main reason she hates the rest of the mafia for this though is for a simple reason: They don't miss her son. They miss Timoteo's heir. They don't miss the boy who always struggled getting up in the morning after sleepover with Aria. They don't miss the boy she helped finish hard math homework. They don't miss the boy who loves ligers, who's favorite color is orange, and who loves to read. They don't miss the boy who'd struggle to fall back asleep after a nightmare. They don't miss the boy she taught to swim. They don't miss the boy she carried to bed when he and Aria fell asleep on her couch. They don't miss that Xanxus, her Xanxus. They miss the Vongola Decimo candidate, Xanxus.

For every year he was frozen, she still got birthday gifts for him. Of course, she wasn't sure if he'd actually like them at that point, but she took an educated guess of what he might've liked as he got older. His fist birthday after he got unfrozen, she sent him every last one of those gifts.

Nowadays, she still love him with all her heart as her son. He'll always be her baby after all. But, he's not a kid anymore and she knows it. He doesn't need her to hold her to hold his hand and guide him around anymore. Her little boy is all grown up now. Yet... She can't stop herself from showing him her love the same ways still. She can't help herself from fixing his hair when there's a part out of place. She still calls him all the little nicknames she came up with for young him. She still buys him opal cufflinks and suit pins and more for his birthdays.

She also will still carry him to bed if he falls asleep around her. And I do mean will, she can be frighteningly strong when she wants to be.

Also this applies to Squalo, Bel, and Xanxus. But she does loves sharing those "embarrassing" stories parents will tell about their kids. Like odd games they played, silly mishaps they had, and things like that.

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr oc #khr belphegor #khr squalo #khr xanxus #khr varia #this took me 4 hours to write lol

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djs-horny-blog-lmao · 4 months

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DJ's Smut Fics Masterpost

oh my god, i now know that these are a pain in the ASS to assemble. but like,,,, handy. so here you guys go. I'm going to sort them into six handy categories for you.

be a good boy and...? - about 4.8k words. contains hypnosis/brainwashing, programming, mantras, orgasm control, trigger phrases, dubious consent. Use of 'good boy'. Features two of my OCs, Jamie and Aeor. (this is probably my fav thing on here ngl)

NSFS SUPERHERO AU

tbh, lowkey the best shit ive done, if you like a good hero-gets-corrupted-by-a-rogue/villain-w/-hypnosis then i've got some fics for You!!

EDIT: this au is kind of dark/fucked up. heavy on the dubcon and corruption kink - all three named heroes are succumbing to being fucked or fucking their villains and are not going to 'win'. please be wary of that going in. i answer questions about it via asks and most of the important plot/lore dumps are tagged under my 'nsfs superhero au' tag if you want to know more/get the tone.

siren's call - part 1 - about 3k words. dom!janus, sub!patton. Trans Patton. CNC, hypnosis, dubcon, corruption kink. praise kink (’good boy’), facefucking, fingering, sex with clothes on, magic sex, memory play, multiple orgasms.

unexpected songs - impossible tasks - part 2 - Trans Patton, sub!Patton. Covert/accidental hypnosis, dubcon, corruption kink. ...accidental exhibitionism? masturbation at the end (not exhibitionism, he's in private). multiple orgasms.

the next stage - part 3 - Trans Patton, sub!Patton, dom!Janus, tist!Janus. hypnosis, dubcon, programming/mind control, corruption kink. blowjobs, riding dildos, magic. multiple orgasms. orgasm denial. use of ‘pussy’ and ‘cunt’ to describe a trans man’s genitals. Praise kink.

Deeper and deeper... - part 4 - about 4k words - Trans Patton, sub!Patton, dom!Janus, tist!Janus. hypnosis, dubcon, programming/mind control, corruption kink. smattering of angst thrown in there. assurance kink. masturbation, degradation and praise, magic, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, creampies, obedience, orgasm control, crying, kissing. use of ‘pussy’ and ‘cunt’ to describe a trans man’s genitals.

NSFS HUMAN AU

trapped in a brainwashing facility - 3.6k words, roceit, hypnokink/brainwashing, dubcon, pretty heavy fantasy, open/’unhappy’ ending, missing memories, uses of subliminal messaging on the characters - semi horror/erotic thriller

sleepxiety and motorcycles - 970 words, semi-public, swearing, dirty talk, coming untouched (ish), sub!virgil dom!remy.

NSFS FANTASY/MONSTERFUCKER/TECHNOPHILIA

Big dragon, little prince - 2.8k words, Logince. top!Logan bottom!Roman, dom!Logan sub!Roman. Fantasy au. Pre-established relationship, monsterfucking. Dirty talk/degredation. Size kink. Brief mention of attempted murder at the start (monster hunters).

big dragon, little prince 2: now the dragon has 2 cocks - 3.4k words. Roceit. Mentioned Logince. Top!Janus, bottom!Roman, dom!Janus sub!roman. fantasy au. Pre-established Logince. Monsterfucking, dirtytalk/degredation. Size kink. Hemipenis/double penetration. Frotting. Janus uses they/them.

field research - about 4k words. sub/bottom Virgil, top/dom Remus, trans!virgil, referring to a trans man's genitalia as cunt and pussy, anal, double penetration, aphrodisiacs, intox/mild cnc/mild mind-altering substance, talk of breeding, overstim, monsterfucking, tentacles and monstercock.

untitled vampire logan logince fic - about 2k words. Vampire!Logan, logince, mind control/hypnosis, dubcon, vampiric thralls (fun fact, first fic i ever posted here and it's sat at 69 notes for months which still makes me laugh)

admin privileges - about 2.8k words -logince, sub logan dom roman. hypnokink, dronification, d/s, brainwashing/programming, dubious consent/cnc. Logan is an android and Roman is a human. Logan's trans, kind of. has a robopussy. uses of 'sir' and 'admin' as titles. inappropriate use of ports.

NSFS CANON COMPLIANT

just download ur bf a new brain! - roughly 4k words. Logince, sub!roman dom!logan, hypnotist logan, brainwashing, brainwashing via subliminals in music, descriptions of trance and dropping, cnc.

intrulogical hypno shenanigans - 4.6k words. Intrulogical, implied introloceit. sub!Remus dom!Logan. uses ‘master’ and ‘pet/baby boy/good boy’ as titles. Edging, trancing, and some good ol’ fashion boning. Contains an induction.

sequel to the above fic but now intruloceit - 4k words, threesome, hypnosis, dom!Logan, sub!Remus, sub!Janus, some initial anxieties, kink negotiation mid-sex, mantras, uses of ‘master/sir’ and ‘baby/baby boy/good boy/etc’ as titles

soft moceit hypnofic - about 3.6k words, moceit, dom/tist!Janus, sub!Patton, hypnosis, trance, a written induction of sorts, dubcon, gentle vibes, crying. Written pre-SvSs/POF

a book to turn off your brain - 2.6k words. loceit, sub!logan dom!janus, no actual fucking. Hypnosis via reading. Mindlessness, slow fall, implied hands-free-orgasm at the end, cnc

bimbo virgil - about 1k words. analogical, sub!virgil dom!logan, hypnokink, dumbification/bimbofication, trance, no actual sex, mirrors, uses titles like ‘master’ and ‘whore’.

janus gets double dommed - roughly 1.5k words. dom!logan, dom!roman, sub!janus. roloceit. no actual sex, just trance. Induction is written out. use of 'good boy' as praise. hypnosis.

NSFS THOMASxSIDE

Teacher's pet - About 3.5k words. Dom!Logan, Sub!Thomas. Teacher/student roleplay. Both degradation and praise, use of ‘sir’ and ‘good boy’. A little ...feet...play? it was accidental but it’s hot i promise.

The One Where Roman Ties Him Up And Fucks Him Silly - 3.6k words. Bondage/BDSM, sub!Thomas, dom!Roman, orgasm denial, overstimulation, hypnosis, voice kink, royalty kink, royalty/servant dynamic (sort of) use of titles like ‘my king’, and ‘good boy’.

Well um there we go i guess i'll update it with more as I write them?? maybe?? probably.

and damn. ive written more than i expected won't lie. if you want reccs from me, i think the brainwashing facility one, the dukexiety monsterfucking one, bimbo virgil, my OC one and just all the superhero ones are the best

#not safe for sanders #nsfs fic #dj writes #dj monologues #dj's masterpost #this took me like an hour and a half to assemble #updated to include a better content warning for the superhero au #last edited 4/4/2024 #added the robot one and pt 4 superhero

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sapphire-weapon · 9 months

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Resident Evil 4 Remake's story is structured like the plot of a romance novel: master post

A few months ago, I wrote up a very quick and dirty outline/explanation of how Resident Evil 4 Remake's story had been restructured from the original game to follow the story beats of a romance novel. At the time, I didn't think it was all that important to explain it super in-depth, but now that more and more people are looking at it, I figured I should probably explain what I mean with each of these beats lmao

1) Call to Adventure / The Meet Cute

All that a meet-cute actually is is the scene in which the characters that the romance is centered around meet for the first time. The intention is to show an initial spark between the characters -- they meet under bizarre/unexpected circumstances and, at some point, both characters become aware of just how significant it is, even if neither says anything about it.

Leon and Ashley's meet-cute starts with her swinging a candelabra at his head and ends with Leon holding her in his arms out in the rain for a period of time that is absolutely too long to be normal for the circumstance. They lock eyes in this moment, and it's meant to be seen as Significant.

2) Refusal of the Call / Rejection of the Relationship

This is the "I'm just imagining things" reaction to the significance of the meet-cute. Both characters treat the spark as though it never happened -- and, usually, it's because there's other external factors influencing their ability or willingness to follow the trail of that spark and see where it goes. Instead of going "Hey, you're cute, can I get your number?" both characters just jump straight to "Well, anyway --" and go back to living their own independent lives apart from each other.

After they both snap out of that weird trance they were in after Leon caught Ashley out the window of the church, he goes right back to treating her like a mission objective, and she just has absolutely no idea what to make of him at all. Ashley spends the next few sections of gameplay in shock and disbelief with lines like "Seriously, this cannot be happening." and "I just wanna go home..." Leon ignores all of her complaints, keeps her moving even when she asks for a break, and doesn't really speak much to her at all other than to bark orders at her.

3) Acceptance of the Quest / Giving the relationship a chance

Something Happens that forces both characters back into each other's lives and/or personal attention, and they both find that they do Like each other, actually -- even if that feeling of "like" isn't anything super significant. It could be something as simple as realizing that they enjoy the other's company and wanting to see/talk to the other more often.

This arguably starts when Leon and Ashley first run into the cabin and Leon puts a comforting hand on her back that he absolutely did did not have to put there -- but it's definitely in full swing after the cabin sequence is over. Personally, I would say that it's the revelation about Ashley having a plaga in her that's the Something that Happens between them. The whole mission starts to become a whole lot more personal, because now it's not just about surviving and escaping -- now it's about making sure that Ashley stays Ashley.

She starts to open up to him more, and he suddenly becomes much warmer towards her, as well. He's quick to reassure her ("I won't let that happen. I promise.") and not only responds to her when she talks, but also begins talking to her unprompted as well.

This is also the first time Leon ever tries hitting on Ashley with the "Seems this isn't your first time running from creeps" line, and it fails spectacularly.

4) Trials and Temptations / Three Dates

This one is probably the one that needed the most explaining LMAO I shouldn't have let this one go. The "three dates" don't have to/usually aren't meant to be actual, literal dates in romance novels. They're just three significant events that happen between the couple that builds and then reinforces their bond. (It also doesn't necessarily have to be three -- some stories only do two, some do five, etc. The point is that Things Are Happening that strengthen the relationship.)

That is why I said that their three "dates" are:

1) Ashley busting the window open after the Mendez boss fight, helping brush the embers off of Leon, and helping to pull him to his feet. This is the first time the two of them actually smile at each other and the first time they start to act as a team.

2) Salazar's introduction ("The girl's just fine. With me."). Leon wants so badly to be that cool guy in an 80s movie who shows up out of nowhere and puts his arm around a beautiful girl and looks at some dickhead harassing her and goes "This guy giving you a hard time, babe?" This is the closest he's ever gotten to and will ever get to being that in his life. He's not cool enough to ever actually be that guy for real.

3) The road to the Water Hall (Leon jumping across the chandeliers + this is the first time the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated) (You could also include the Garrador here, because if you take Ashley down there after the fact, there's special dialogue that happens that's... God, Leon sucks at this whole flirting thing. He just sucks, dude.)

5) Midpoint Crisis / I-need-you-but-can’t-have-you

Everything is going so well... until it isn't anymore. The three dates have given the couple a glimpse of how special and important this relationship could be, which is great -- until it becomes a problem. One of the characters gets freaked out by the intensity of the relationship and pulls back out of fear, because there's something else happening in their life that's bigger than either character and more important to be addressed.

In Leon and Ashley's case, it's Ashley's plaga. Saddler takes control of her briefly and gets a hold of Leon's knife, stabs him, and then threatens to cut her own throat. When his hold over her breaks, she's terrified. She needs Leon now more than ever because of this, but she's more afraid of hurting him than losing herself, so she runs away from him in tears.

6) The Road Back / Pulling Back Together

Basically, the plot forces the couple back together, and -- due to the raw, open vulnerability caused by the Midpoint Crisis -- their bond is stronger than ever. The feelings change from "yeah, I like them" to "I want them." Real intimacy starts to form and build here, because the interest in and attraction to each other is allowed by both characters to be acknowledged. This is usually where the sexual tension starts to really kick into high gear, and the audience is just waiting for that moment when it all breaks open.

This starts with the pep talk that Leon gives Ashley when he finds her again -- which is romantically framed and coded with its imagery and cinematography. It continues through the entire Grand Hall segment, which includes the moment in the game in which Leon is at his boldest in terms of expressing his attraction to her. This is the point in the game in which their relationship is at its most playful. They tease each other and flirt and pass compliments back and forth -- and, for a while, it feels like the two of them are unstoppable and able to take on the world together.

7) The Fall

"The fall" is the shortened version of "The moment they actually fall in love." It's the "oh god, I think I love them" moment. The two characters do not necessarily have to admit to each other that they've experienced "the fall" -- and usually, at least one of them doesn't. But they both experience that moment where it hits them.

We see Ashley "fall" at the start of her gameplay segment, where she takes Leon's earlier words to heart and draws strength from them. ("I won't run. Wait for me, Leon.") He's inspired her to strive to be more than she is, and she embraces the way that he makes her feel, in that moment.

We see Leon "fall" as soon as he catches the key that she tosses down to him. He looks up at her with stars in his eyes and offers to catch her if she jumps down. An interesting detail to note is that this is the first and one of the only times in RE4make that Nick Apostolides reverts to using the tone/voice that he used for Leon in RE2make. It's soft and sweet and gentle as he makes her an offer that has no reason to be made, just for the sake of getting to hold her in his arms again.

And, in order to drive home the point, this all happens during a scene that was framed, shot, and directed to mirror/mimic the balcony scene in Romeo & Juliet.

8) Dark moment / The Break Up

Once again, Something Happens and comes between them -- and this one is way, way worse than the Midpoint Crisis. This isn't "I'm scared to be with you" -- it's "I can't be with you." Hope for the relationship is completely lost, and both characters become overwhelmed in their individual despair.

Verdugo breaks them up physically -- not once, but twice. And that second time involves Leon being forced to watch Ashley endure Salazar's weird "ritual" and be unable to stop it or do anything to help her. He just has to sit with that failure and suffer through it until he's literally thrown away and discarded while Ashley screams his name.

When Leon finally finds Ashley again, we see him confront the one moment in the game when he honestly, truly loses hope. He sits down on the floor at Ashley's bedside, and there's nothing more that he can do than wait for her to wake up. Some part of him has already become convinced that they won't make it out of there alive -- not both of them, at least. Not together. And he's ready to commit suicide as a contingency plan.

9) The Sacrifice

This is the "do or die" moment for the relationship in a romance novel. This is the moment where the decision is made to confront not just the external force keeping them apart, but also the internal flaws that are feeding into that avoidant urge. The couple decides that their desire to be together is stronger and more important than whatever fear or force is holding them back, and though it's terrifying to do it, they stand up for the relationship in the face of opposition.

In RE4make, we see this play out through the sequence in which Leon carries Ashley to Luis's lab and how the two of them, against all physical and mental odds, manage to remove each other's plagas. This is especially emotionally significant for Leon, who says the words out loud: "This time, it has to be different..." He's openly acknowledging that his trauma from Raccoon City is what made him so ready to pull the trigger on himself back in that holding cell. Here, now, he puts his foot down, confronts that trauma, and says "No. I have to beat this."

And he does, even at great physical cost to himself. But the sacrifice was worth it, because it was for her.

10) Declaration

In a very literal sense, it's the declaration of love. It's an outward, spoken confirmation of the bond they share, now that the trial from the Sacrifice has been overcome. Traditionally in romance novels, this happens with the actual words "I love you."

But RE4make isn't a traditional romance novel, and Capcom has an entire fanbase of angry nerds who take fictional relationships too seriously to navigate through. So, instead of an explicit "I love you" what we got instead was an explicit verbal confirmation of their bonded status as a team.

"Hey... We're a team, right?"

"Keep this up? I'll be out of a job."

11) The HEA

"HEA" stands for "Happily ever after."

While I could (and did) say that Leon and Ashley literally ride off into the sunrise together, that does feel disingenuous. Even though it's true and the imagery is there, they don't really have a happily ever after. Not really. This is the only part that's missing from RE4make.

And that's because RE4make isn't just a romance on its own -- it's a fairy tale set inside of a story that's self-aware and knows that fairy tales aren't real. And so both Leon and Ashley wake up from this shared dream of a romance they've been having, as reluctantly as they do, because it's time for them to come back to reality.

Fairy tales aren't real. Romance novels aren't real.

Their feelings are real. But life doesn't work that way. Not for them.

They may not have a happily ever after, but they do have this moment to be together -- and for them, it's enough.

Because it has to be.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #eagleone #meta analysis #THIS TOOK ME AN EMBARRASSINGLY LONG TIME TO WRITE #i thought i'd just whip this up real fast after work #BRO SHIT TOOK ME LIKE FOUR HOURS NO FOOLIES #mostly because i had to take all my fantasy mods off and then go back and re-cap all of these scenes with the defaults on #pain in my ass #so i hope ppl fuckin appreciate this!!!!#the next time someone asks you why/how eagleone is canon #just light this son of a bitch on fire and throw it at their head

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