#I've talked about this a lot with my sister who is also autistic
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I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that
#I've talked about this a lot with my sister who is also autistic#and were both like. on a similar level of autism i dont know how to properly explain it#were functioning in similar ways i guess#and we both agreed that we're in this awkward spot of being autistic#where we're not suited for living in this world the way we're expected#but we're good enough at surviving that we can't really ask for help#like from the government or smth#im not sure if im making sense#but like neither of us ever had a normal job for longer than a few days#she's incredibly lucky bc her boyfriend (also autistic lol) has rich parents#so he's able to have a small business where hes making youtube content and games and merch#and he gets financial support from his parents. so he can have the job he feels comfortable with and enjoys#and my sister is now able to work with him. theyre both making their silly little games and trinkets and are able to live normally#which is just so great for her i love that. im also so jealous lmao#and then theres me who also is made for creating art and not much else but im not lucky enough to be able to do that and survive#idk. my mom is great and doesn't put too much pressure on me. she was the one to take me to that blueberry job#and she really supprts my plans to be an artist full time#but still. thats really difficult to do. ugh#sometimes i wish that i either wasnt autistic at all or was 'less functioning' so at least i could get some help with living#bee buzz
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AITA for getting high on Guys Night?
I (21M) am a history major in college. I've accidentally befriended a group of 6 guys who I share classes with - most of them are also history majors, and they're all big fans of football and sports in general. They all played sports in high school, as well, and they go to the gym together sometimes and at least one of them is in a frat. I say accidentally because I am not a gym bro or a sports fan - I'm an autistic nerd and never went to any parties in high school (unless you count MTG meetups in my local game store). They're all roughly the same age as me. They invited me to go to a sports bar with them, and they all seemed nice and I still hadn't made any friends since transferring so I agreed.
I know nothing about football. But they were all nice and explained things to me and we still had a great time. We would talk during the slow parts/commercial breaks. It's been a couple months and I still don't understand everything (I stopped asking because I didn't want to bother them) but I still go and try and watch the game because it's still enjoyable and I like spending time with them.
Well, a few weeks into these meetups and one of the guys "Aaron" (22M) and I got there a bit early and he offered me some of his blunt. I'm a bit of a lightweight so I did get high, but it was manageable. I also found that it helped me focus on the game, and it made the loudness of the bar a lot more tolerable. I had a pack of gummies my sister bought and left there (she was visiting and said I could have the rest), so I started taking them when we'd meet up to watch the game. I'll admit, most of the game nights I've been a bit high. On other nights/meetups I don't get high, it's mostly just a football thing.
Well, one of the guys "Brian" caught on and said it was rude and if I care that little about football then I didn't have to come. I said I really enjoy the meetups so I'd stop getting high, but Aaron stepped in and said it was fine. Aaron said it wasn't noticeable that I was high since I didn't smell and I was acting normally and they only knew because I told them (one of them offered me a gummy and I said no and that I had already taken one). Brian kept arguing that it was rude and that I "clearly don't give a shit about their interests" and started raising his voice so I decided to leave and Aaron left with me. Now the rest of the group is torn.
No one in the group has any issues with using substances (after all, a lot of our meetups are at a bar) and all of them have used marijuana at one point (including Brian).
AITA for getting high on game night?
What are these acronyms?
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Can I ask you to do a post about Disney & disability please? You mentioned it and I’d love to know more!
Well, my notifications can't get any messier, so why not?
This post got very, very long because I ended up talking about a lot of the accessibility solutions in detail (and... ranting about how accessibility at Universal was so bad that I got physically injured there) so I'm putting it under a cut for you.
To preface this, I have mobility issues (as well as a lot of food intolerances/allergies) and general chronic illness, my sister is Deaf, and I have friends who regularly attend the park with autistic family members with high support needs. These are the disabilities I have experience with, so while I've heard a bit about others (such as portable descriptive devices for visitors with visual impairments) I can't speak as much about those accommodations.
I have also traveled quite a bit, mostly as a disabled adult. I can work from anywhere and my family enjoys traveling, so I've been very lucky in this regard. I also used to live in central Florida, not too far from Disney, and benefited from their FL resident rates.
So I'm coming at this from a person who has a lot of experience traveling while disabled and a fair amount of experience going to WDW, though I haven't been nearly as often since I moved out of Florida.
(Good fucking riddance.)
So know that I am speaking from experience when I say I have never, without exception, been to a single place half as accessible as Walt Disney World. It is literally the reason my family would go there; it was one of the only places we could all safely go together. One of the only places I've been on earth that even approached their level of thoughtful accommodations is Barcelona, which apparently did significant renovations throughout the city in order to prepare for the 1992 Paralympics.
(Hey, if anyone is reading this from Barcelona: I teared up the first time I used one of your curb cuts in my wheelchair, just so you know.)
Going through those parks in a wheelchair is a breeze, though you will probably have to fight a lot of clueless parents with strollers who are hellbent on using resources intended for wheelchair-users and then glaring at you when you try to use them yourself. Level ground, spacious sidewalks, accessible transportation, well-kept gradual ramps, roomy buildings, lots of accessible restrooms, alternate entrances at many rides for wheelchair users, special wheelchair rows in movie theaters that we're loaded into first, accessible queues in most rides designed or renovated in the last fifteen years, special viewing areas for shows/parades/fireworks so you don't end up staring at able-bodied butts for a half hour...
Like, structurally-speaking, the parks are very easy to get around in if you're a wheelchair user. That was built in and you can see a lot of very mindful design choices. As far as the rides go, most of their rides actually have special cars that you can load into while still in a wheelchair. They're pretty neat. I can transfer, but that means often leaving my wheelchair and/or cane with a cast member during the ride. They are always, without fail, waiting for me on the other side of the ride, no matter how far the exit is from the entrance. I have never once had a problem with this. A cast member will be there to put my assistive devices in my hand before I even have to think about getting up. Guaranteed.
Wheelchair users always used to be able to skip the line, but there was unfortunately a problem with able-bodied people pretending to be disabled to skip lines (because god forbid they not have access to a single thing we have to make our lives livable) so now there's a system where if you cannot wait in a line, they'll basically give you a special time to come back that's equivalent to the length of the line. Which feels fair to me as someone who often cannot be in even an accessible line for extended periods. (I have problems with sunlight, heat, and often need emergency food or restroom.)
More important than all this, though, is the fact that cast members are impeccably well-trained in all of this. Any disabled person can tell you that the most accessible design on earth isn't worth shit if the people working there aren't well-trained. (More on this later, when I take a giant shit on Universal Studios.) But Disney trains their employees, many of whom are disabled themselves, incredibly well.
Every employee will know where the accessible entrances are. Every employee will know the procedure for getting a return time. Every employee will know about first-aid centers, and every employee will know where the quiet areas are for people with sensory issues. Every time you make a reservation for a meal, hotel room, transportation, etc. they will ask for all accessibility needs and they'll be ready for you.
Every waiter you have will be incredibly careful and knowledgeable when it comes to special dietary needs, and chefs will often come out to discuss them with you. They often have specific menus for different dietary needs, and they are scrupulous when it comes to allergens. I have a few intolerances that suck and allergies that could kill me and I have always felt very safe in their hands. This ranges from fancy sit-down restaurants to quick service burger places.
And -- honestly, I have just always been treated with respect. I know that sounds like a low bar, but most people do fail to clear it. Disney has their employees very well-trained on how to interact with disabled guests. People speak directly to me, never to the able-bodied people over my head. They never treat me like I'm a child. They never ask invasive questions or make uncomfortable jokes. They never, ever get impatient with my accessibility needs.
The few times I have misjudged things and have injured myself or gotten extremely ill, they were professional and caring as they provided much-needed first-aid. It's kind of embarrassing to be doted on by a costumed character while you wait for a doctor to come help you sit up again, but also kind of endearing, I'll admit.
They also, in addition to captioning all videos in the park, have some of the best sign language interpreters in the world, bar none. They're very personal and professional, they're easy to reserve, they will always be in a visible place during shows, and they're incredible performers as well as being very technically proficient. In addition to the professional interpreters, many cast members, performers, and characters can sign as well.
In addition to that, and this brings me to my next point, you'll meet a lot of disabled employees throughout the park. In front-facing positions. Deaf employees, employees using mobility aids, etc. They're well-known to hire disabled people and treat them well. This is. Fuck, this is incredibly rare, I say as someone who was never able to find a job in Florida with my health conditions. It's the moral thing to do to hire disabled people, but also -- selfishly, there's something so heartening and normalizing about seeing people who look like you working at the park. I'm happy every single time.
I have a little less personal experience when it comes to accessibility for neurodivergence, despite being neurodivergent myself, but I've been told that Disney is very, very accommodating for people on the spectrum. A lot is done to lessen crowding, waiting, sensory overload, etc. for autistic guests. Cast members are usually super good at this; finding designated quiet areas, helping autistic guests avoid more crowded areas, keeping them out of long lines, making sure they have access to any particular experiences that are special to them, etc.
For folks who need help from their group, whether that's an autistic child who needs to be with a parent or a disabled adult who needs someone to push their wheelchair or anything else, Disney has a rider switch-off model. In other words, if you're there with both of your able-bodied parents, for example, and you need one of them to be with you at all times and you don't want to be on the ride yourself, Disney will allow one person to go on the ride while the other waits for them to finish, then will allow the second person to go on without any additional wait. This makes sure that everyone in the family gets equal access without leaving disabled people alone. (Which... can be a very shitty feeling, I assure you.)
I know that Disney has also pioneered a lot of assistive technology. The accessible rides, obviously, which can be ridiculously cool (like Toy Story Midway Mania has an accessible car with alternative "guns" for people with dexterity limitations so they can play the carnival games as well) but also handheld assistive devices for visually impaired guests, etc. Like they are literally inventing new forms of accessibility technology, which is so cool.
And honestly, I'm always learning about new ways they assist disabled guests. I've stayed in Disney's accessible hotel rooms before (they're very nice!) but I don't like to swim so I've never been in the pools. But even just this week, someone told me that Disney has pool lifts for disabled guests, which I had never even considered. That's so cool.
The best part about accessibility at Disney is that in some ways it's very casual. A lot of their design decisions are so intuitive that you never even notice how accessible the parks are until you go somewhere where that's... not the case.
Like -- just so you don't assume that any of these things are industry standard, let me tell you about the two times I went to Universal, a park very close to Disney. I went there once for an event and once with my family.
The first time I went was for an event at the opening of the Harry Potter park. (This was before JKR made her most appalling views public, to be clear.) It... was frustrating. Guests asked if there would be food and drink available for people with special dietary restrictions (such as sugar-free butterbeer) and were pretty much told that no, that was not something they were interested in pursuing. It became very obvious very quickly that the park itself was so narrow that it only barely fulfilled ADA standards -- when empty. We were told that JKR had actually specifically insisted that it feel "cramped". Which is a nice way to say that I couldn't actually get around in any of the stores while people were in them.
It was overall a frustrating experience, but it was like. One night. I figured it was probably a fluke and they were still ironing out all the details. So I ended up going back with my parents later.
Y'all, it was a shit show.
Broken elevators that prevented disabled guests from accessing rides. Performers being up on raised platforms/sidewalks so disabled guests couldn't get to them. Sidewalks being made inaccessible by putting movable signs directly in the middle of them. Stores (even outside of the HP part) that were so damn narrow that I actually ended up getting hurt trying to navigate one of them. And no -- it was not easy to get first aid.
And my god, was the training bad. We went to one of the new HP rides, asked if there was a specific entrance for disabled guests. We were told no. We waited for a very long time in a line that honestly I shouldn't have been waiting in, but I wanted to be a good sport. I was pretty sick by the time we got through it, and the line itself had some very dangerous inclines/turns for wheelchair users. We get to the front of the line -- and the employee asks why we didn't just use the accessible entrance. 🙃
(Side note: several of their rides are also just unrideable if you don't fit within a pretty narrow body type of thin and able-bodied, so... there's that.)
We'd asked repeatedly and gotten incorrect answers, and I'd been put in physical danger as a result. Wild. I started to notice that if you asked different employees, you'd get different answers about almost anything, really. Just exceptionally poor training. Even stuff that should've been a no-brainer, like loading wheelchair users into a stationary movie theater, ended up creating chaos when they did it incorrectly and we had a giant wheelchair pileup.
Like -- let me stress to you that many of the things that happened could have caused actual injury to people. Some of these situations were dangerous. And some of them were just alienating, like when I'd have to wait outside a store while my family could go in.
I never went back after that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We just kept going to Disney.
One thing that'll probably show how good Disney is at accessibility is the whole Make-A-Wish thing. A lot of people know that it's a popular Make-A-Wish request, and you're likely to see at least a couple kids with Make-A-Wish buttons during your visit if you keep an eye out. One reason for this, is that, y'know, Disney World is fun. Kids want to go there. But more important, I think, is that Disney can accommodate people with at-times severe medical needs. Those kids can safely go anywhere and do anything in those parks that able-bodied kids can, and that's important.
All in all, the parks are just so accessible and you will never, ever be made to feel like you're lesser for needing those accommodations. You will be treated so well and you will not have to worry about accessibility because the cast members are always doing it for you. They'll usher you into the correct entrance as soon as they see a mobility device, and they'll do it with a very warm welcome. It's one of the very few places on earth where I have never felt like a burden.
Again, y'know, I know that Disney does not have a perfect track record on a lot of issues. I would never defend them from rightfully earned criticism. I strongly support labor action against them, and I do think they should be criticized whenever they fuck up. I have been uncomfortable with the sheer amount of power they have both in Florida and in the entertainment world just because no one should have that much power. But I am far more uncomfortable with that power being stripped away for blatantly discriminatory political reasons.
I do have some loyalty to Disney just because there is no other place on earth where I've been able to safely have fun with my friends with so little agony. That's... I mean, it's important, really. To be able to just exist in public without getting grief for it. And I have some loyalty to them because they were a safe space for me as a young, queer kid who was not safe being out in other areas of my life.
(Like, I am talking about actual literal safety. I kept seeing notes on my post saying that Disney didn't care about creating a "safe space for queer people" but as someone who lived in Florida for the entirety of my teenage years? It was the safest goddamn place there.)
I do not have enough loyalty to defend them when they do immoral bullshit, but I do have enough to make sure that people know the good that they do as well.
I want other businesses to follow Disney's model for disability. I will praise them forever for what they've done in that regard because if I don't, there's no reason for other companies to follow suit. I want to praise them for the good things they've done so they have incentive to keep doing it, and other companies have an incentive to do it as well.
Like bro, I just wanna be able to move around and be treated with some dignity, y'know? My bar is so low. lmao
But yeah. That's why you always see so many disabled guests at Disney. It's literally the only place some of us can go to have fun.
#disney#disability#ableism#replies#honestly I used to go to the parks a lot but I wouldn't presently consider myself a superfan of disney or anything#but goddamn it sometimes you just wanna be able to go out and do the same things as everybody else#and disney always let me do that
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Talk Shop Tuesday: If you could immediately pluck one story/concept/idea from your brain and have it fully formed in front of you, exactly as you would want, what would that idea be? Can you describe it to us, along with any potential factors that are slowing you down/blocking you from creating it in the first place? Thanks! <3 -@fieldsofview
Oh, boy, that is a question!
My first thought is that I'd like to have When Two Become One (or, oh dear, Little and Broken, but Still Good) completed, just to not have the dangling WIP to worry about.
But really, honestly, if I was sitting here with the one-use-only magical wishing stone that would take a story from my brain and give me a ready-to-release perfect version of it? I would ask it to finish the historical-with-magic m/m romance that I started writing a bit over five years ago and had plotted five followups to.
It's such a great story! It has magical soulbonds that are made, not found! It has a whole system of gay marriage fitted into a historical setting in a way that I personally find satisfying and logical! It has the obstacle to marriage between our heroes being that they are too exactly well-matched for each other (and therefore it's painfully difficult to determine which of them ought to become a non-person and lose his independent inheritance and social status by becoming the dependent spouse of the other, because it's 1834 and somebody has to not be a whole legal person anymore after they get married, that's the rules).
It has COMPLEMENTARY MAGICAL ABILITIES REVEALING ROMANTIC COMPATIBILITY. It has YEARNING. It has a DUEL (well, almost) and a huge historic disaster that our heroes get swept up in, leading to SWOONING FROM MAGICAL EXHAUSTION. It has the baby sister who the hero wants to protect SOLVING PROBLEMS HERSELF, with the help of her trans girlfriend. (It has magical gender affirmation for trans people, because what kind of magical setting would it be if it didn't??) It has a HORRIBLE COUSIN WHO WILL INHERIT THE ESTATE who turns out in a subsequent book to be not really horrible at all so much as, you know, autistic and traumatized and dashed awkward in sensitive situations, and in need of just the right adorable twink to understand him and love him.
It unfortunately has a terminal lack of writing momentum due to me picking away at it through all the years when my writing had not come home from the wars, and so I just feel sort of exhausted every time I think about figuring out what the fuck happens in chapter five and how to put that into words and sentences and paragraphs, so I've stuck it in the drawer and moved on to things that I feel a bit less daunted by, although just this second I feel daunted by every activity more complicated than playing Cake Sort on my phone and watching a lot of Air Crash Investigations, because life is a lot right now.
But if I just had this novel straight from the wishing stone, I could read it, and I'm sure I would love the whole thing again and be ready to write the next five books, and also I could publish the dear thing and tell people it's a bit like a KJ Charles (with less murder) or Jordan L Hawk (with less eldritch horror), and it would probably sell pretty decently and I could be firmly on the way with my five year plan to be able to do more writing and less day-jobbing. And that would be awfully nice.
#asked and answered#talk shop tuesday#answered on wednesday because it is that kind of time right now
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Hi,
If it's not too personal to ask how do you manage so many friends and relationships as an autistic person, quite frankly I'm in awe and want to know your secrets because I suck at it badly and I'm quite lonely.
Hi anon! I actually don't have too big of a social circle. Well in the eyes of the average person who does not have social issues. But while I don't have data on the amount of friends autistic people have, I think we can safely assume it tends to be lower than the average.
But that wasn't the question, so I'm gonna break down where my relationships (general) come from, from obvious to more complicated.
Firstly I have a pretty good relationship with my family. So, I'm often out and about with my mum, and when I get too lonely I can call her so she's kinda the baseline. I also do trips with my step-sister. We did not grow up together (8 year age gap, I was out of the house when she arrived) but we have a lot in common and do art shows together, free friend.
Secondly, dating. I'm better at dating than making friends tbh. I use dating apps, always. Here I honestly have the advantage that I have a pretty agreeable face. It's a pretty basic maths game. I'm thin, I have red hair, I dress fairly feminine, I get responses. However personality wise I'm very authentic on there so a lot of these conversations end pretty fast haha. But because I have a pretty high first response rate, I also get the people who like it when you're a bit odd. I always try to keep the talking online part pretty short.
Thirdly, the first way I make friends is mooching off my family and friends. This is a time honoured practice amongst autistics. As a young child I would get put in the same hobbies as my cousins, and so when the friends from our hobby invited my cousin somewhere, they kinda had to ask me too. As an adult you can pretty much do the same thing, although it's pretty much more accepted now, most notably in the concept of bringing around a partner. Most people I've met the past year have been trough my partner. I met their housemates by well, being in the house, I've met their colleagues in the tattooshop, I've met other friends and I've also just met a lot of their aquintances.
Because they do tattoo events, in a pub for instance, and I helped, the people in this pub know me now too. The first time I'm just 'some date' helping out. But now they know me as a seperate person. I can run into these people and have a talk with them. My partners best friend liked my badges, and I said she could try making some if she wanted. So we did that.
I would not know any of these people without my partner. Some of them will always be my partners friend first, but there are some of their aquintances I know better now, because I ran into them more often, or we had something in common my partner doesn't.
The fourth part is the difficult one. That's just straight up talking to new people without any mediator. Generally this is easiest done where nobody else knows each other either. For instance when you start a new degree, everyone is generally pretty open to talking to new people because well, everyone is new. Some people might already be paired up but they generally want to know more people. I started a degree this year. So I've been talking to new people there. Some people made it easy, like a guy who went round asking everyones phone numbers to start a class whatsapp. Besides that it's just the classic kinda forced ways, like when you're both clearly walking into the same direction and you already know this person is in your class but you still go "hey, you're also in (class) right? Good, I'm going the right direction then!" it's all scripts too honestly, we're not the only ones that resort to those.
Outside classic settings like a new school it's a bit more complicated, but the art is figuring out when people do like to have a new conversation. For instance today I did an art market again. You're put next to random people, and you're there for hours. No matter how good the day goes, there are boring bits. When people are insanely bored, they're pretty happy to talk, espectially about their passions. So I'll ask how their sales are going, which immediately turns into a conversation about their work. I also will ask them to watch my stuff while I go to the toilet, and then tell them I don't mind doing the same for them. People seem to prefer that order over me just going "hey I can watch your stuff," they'll accept my help when they've already helped me.
You probably notice this is a lot of analysing. I do that a lot. I see what other people say to initiate conversations, make note, and try the same sentence later. It's not like masking bc I'm still being myself, but I'm utulising other peoples social skills just like you'd use cooking techniques you've observed. If you bake a succesful cake you're not fake baking, and if you make a genuine fun social connection it's not masking either. My partner is very good at talking to new people bc their job is to make people comfortable before stabbing them with many tiny needles. So I've been learning a lot from them. I have another friend who will not initiate so many conversations, but who is very chill and just inviting like that. I also try to take from that.
I also try to keep a lot of tiny little doors open. If someone is interested in a material I use, I'll go "if you want the link, message me sometime, here's my instagram. Offering to make buttons with my partners friend is also an open door. I didn't say "we should do that" I went "If you want to try sometime, I can send you the template, just let me know!" and they did come back to it. Often people don't, but often they do. Because I left an open invitation. When I post an event I'm doing or Danny is doing on here, that's also an open door. Much more general and less people will respond to that bc it's general, but some people do!
This is very specific to my situation, but it is a breakdown of what I do! Today on an art market I ran into some friends of my sister. I ran into 2 people I had a conversation with after one got a little tattoo at Danny's event. I also talked to my neighbors at the table. I talked to someone I previously bought art from. Yesterday I was out with my dad I ran into a friend of my mums, and a girl who got a tattoo last time at the pub event. It's all tiny networks. All these people (except my mums friend) I've met in the past year and a half. Just continuously going out. Sometimes trough people, sometimes by doing things on my own, like the art market, or school.
and yes doing this is all still stressful haha, I was diagnosed with social phobia only 3 years back. It's constant exposure therapy. I still go "oh why did I say that" multiple times a day. but yet people do want to hang out with me. Not all as intensely, but enough to have fun and not be lonely every day. Still some days, but always getting better.
this is a very long answer but you know, the autism is in the details, if I'd say "oh you know I just talk to people" that would be no use :)
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Autistic Bruno headcanons/fic ideas go!
-gvr 💚
I dunno how fresh these are, but here I go:
Rubbing fabrics is one of his most common stims, but there are some others not seen in the movie. I don't remember who it was, but months ago someone said that they wanted to HC him flapping but felt bad because the way the fandom was... it's in the ol book of HC's now. you deserve flappy Bruno homie.
Sand is very texture™.
When he was a kid, Bruno spent long periods of time looking at the sand in hourglasses fall.
Being the gifted kid of the family allowed a lot of his quirks to get overlooked for a while. By the time he hit burnout, he was seen as a burden. this could probably be a general HC, but it was very much a double edged sword for him.
He advocated for Dolores at loud parties, and postcanon, the two will go to her room to enjoy a quiet activity.
His "Special rat" he mentions in OBB is his support rat that acts as not only a companion, but a comfort. He pets it and also trained it to lick his face and calm him down.
I've mentioned the HC of involuntary visions sometimes vetting tied to meltdowns. The swirlimg sand has unintentionally hurt people before, and out of context, a random villager probably would see it as scary.
This one is common I think, but Mirabel making Bruno textured a scarf,plush, etc? yes, she does that.
She is also one of the first people that really sat and listened to him to that extent. Second most would be Julieta, who was in general the nurturing big sister, though she took care of everyone. That line about holding him in the book until it relaxed and being ok with him not talkong until he felt comfortable is canon in my heart. She knew a lot what to do because of how gentle she is with Antonio and when it comes to emotional care, post canon especially she goes out of her way to make sure everyone, including him is okay.
Luisa gives some awesome pressure hugs, though she has to watch her strength, of course. Bruno can just give her a look and she knows.
If you let him talk about his rats or shows, he will be your best friend. It's not something that everyone necessarily understood, but post canon everyone, especially his family enjoy his shows and his enthusiasm. Something he loves just as much though is the actual process of making things. He can get into a full on trance making his art and sets.
Bruno being afraid of fireworks for the angst. :( It's another reason for him to get Dolores in her soundproof room though.
Julieta knows how his body reacts when he is happy, and is the most thrilled to see that as he is getting better emotionally.
The first time that they all ate together as a family again was chaotic and it was a learning experience. It took some tweaking and sometimes he will eat alone, but generally family meals are good now. :)
The silver lining to his gift is being able to have predictability in his life. He still isn't fond of when the future sneaks up on him or things don't go to plan like in the game where he freaks out and mirabel has to calm him down
He hides in tight corners and small spaces, and his new room has a little hiding spot. The family knows about it and the other spaces he has in the house but respect that
He hits himself and hair pulls when he's in a bad space mentally.
As he got older, a lot of his quirks were misumderstood by the villager and even his mother as him being moody or Noncompliant. Post-canon, she starts to listen to him more and gets to have a caring motherly role more often. She tries to check up on him and make sure that his limits aren't being puahed and that she isn't subconvipusly trying to make him someone else.
He asked Julieta to "fix" him at least once when he was older and frustrated with how sour everything had gone. He's a lot happier with himself, though.
These probably aren't the freshest ideas, but I might add more to the future. Anon, I would love to hear any of your ideas if you have them, as well as other people. Feel free to add in reblogs, comments, asks, or whatever you can think of
#encanto#bruno madrigal#autistic bruno madrigal#encanto headcannons#nd bruno#neurodivergemt bruno madrigal#I wanted to post this sun night but um... busy
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A lot of people say this, but many of them are not the type of people who it's safe to open up to.
What a lot of people don't realize is that suicide is not a light switch. It's often caused by pain that seems survivable at first but over time slowly gets more intense or slowly gets less hopeful for the pain to end. At what point during that timeline is someone considered suicidal? At what point should they open up about it? What happens if they open up too early and it ends up being a false alarm and they worry people for nothing, get accused of exaggerating, or get involuntarily committed to a hospital?
Also, many suicidal people could easily save themselves if they understood exactly why they were suicidal, which means that helping them requires acknowledging that their experience is difficult to explain and not jumping to conclusions. But many people who say that they want to help are often the first to jump to conclusions.
I was suicidal because of a party I was at where someone went out of his way to make it seem like I was bothering anyone I tried to talk to. This would have completely thrown off my ability to read people and made me feel like the world was a better place for people like him than for people like me, which would have been deadly when the pandemic started and the painful memory was combined with the loneliness of the pandemic. Thankfully, when I was about to leave that party, two of my friends reassured me that they loved me and wanted me to stay there. They saved my life. But before I understood what happened, I had very powerful feelings for one of those friends (even without consciously thinking about that party). At first it felt like just a crush, but it was so powerful that I could die from it. The feelings I had for her made perfect sense after I realized that she saved my life, but before then it felt like I had an unhealthy obsession with her. So I tried everything I could think of to get my mind off of her, and nothing worked. Being autistic made it much harder, because understanding my emotions and connecting with other people is much harder for me than it is for the average person.
One time, when I was stoned and saying random things to my sister and my mom, I ended up mentioning how traumatic my experience was for me. In an attempt to explain how traumatic it was and how I had to force myself to do things that my brain was not meant to do, I said that after what I've been through I'd probably be able to solve the feud between my other sister and my cousin.
At no point did I plan to do anything, or think it was a good idea, or want to do it, or think it would be easy. I simply mentioned that as a random hypothetical scenario as a comparison in order to illustrate how difficult my experience was. But my mom and my sister started yelling at me. They went back and forth repeatedly yelling "No" at me, probably about five times each separated by a few seconds each time, while I was sitting there silently trying to figure out what was even happening.
They knew that I have a disability that makes confrontation difficult for me, and they also knew that I was stoned at the time and barely able to hold onto a thought for more than a few seconds. They knew that anything I said was just words put together, and that I was unable to make any sort of plans at the time. But that didn't matter. They still felt the need to massively overpower me just because I mentioned something once that they added a hidden meaning to. For some reason, they just had to interpret "I probably could do this" as "I insist on doing this and I dare you to stop me". And on top of that, explaining why they didn't want me to do it (or what they thought "it" even was) never crossed their mind. They just saw something that seemed like an opportunity to gang up on me and they jumped on it.
And because of that, I could no longer open up to them. I was going through something that was nearly impossible to explain on so many levels. And they showed me that if I open up to them, my first priority has to be analyzing what I say in advance to make sure they don't attack me for it. I was already burning myself out by doing an amount of thinking that my brain was never designed to do, and they made it so I had to do even more thinking in order to stop them from making it worse.
But they're the type of people who would share this photo. They're the type of people who society considers compassionate. They're the type of people who would call themselves "empaths". They're the type of people who would "feel bad" when someone commits suicide. But they're also the worst type of people for any suicidal person to open up to.
If you want suicidal people to open up to you, you have to be a safe person to open up to. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't add hidden meanings to what people say. Don't lock in what people say. Don't try to take over a conversation about other people's experiences. Don't expect to be obeyed. Don't expect quick responses. Don't be more forceful than informative. Don't wait for people to be suicidal to start showing them compassion.
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For the TMNT Ships Ask Thing:
Caseynardo (Leo x Casey)
and/or
Aprilnardo/Leopril (Leo x April)
I love these 2 ships so much. I know they are kind of rarepairs (though, MM gave a lot of love to Leopril and there has been a lot more Leopril stuff. Which is great!), but I love them.
They are very dear to my heart. Personally.
Caseynardo 2012:
I've never heard of it until long time later
Now I'm just kicking my feet
YESSSSSSS
Silly goofball jock x serious and quiet nerd RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SCREW LEORAI
TO MAKE THIS BETTER LEO IS PRETTY MUCH BI IN THE SERIES (He's stated to have a man crush on Captain Ryan)
THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER IN THAT ONE EPISODE
I'm aware they were kind of trash talking big foot in a foot too big but they were STILL bonding!!!
Please read Breaking the Ice by @fabuloustrash05 . I stopped studying for a few minutes to just read it and I'm proud. Disclaimer don't ditch your studies to just read fanfics that is not my message.
Anyways the fnafic solified my love for the ship.
Opposites attract
I can also see them as two friends who act gay but actually aren't or maybe they are.
Or two guys who seem gay but~ (inset bisexuality)
It's amazing. A solid 10/10.
2012 Aprilnardo:
We sadly don't get too much content with them but like-
I remember I was kind of introduced to this ship because I followed one of my idols who shipped it and made fanart of it and it was on DA. This was back before it got deactivated my account.
I LOVE 'Eyes of the chimera' episode. They were basically supporting each other all the way.
Ngl the transfem Leo lovers made me love it even more because I love me some lesbians. TMNT is already filled with some lesbians so why not add more!
I love how April is always by Leo's side and we see how much she cares for him.
I love the idea that April used to be into Space Heroes and then Leo got her back into it.
(For those who headcannon as both autistic) they would so totally talk and rant about their hyperfixation.
I wish though they had more moments together.
They are legit underrated.
The ship will get 9/10 for me.
I'll include rise and the mutant mayhem version cause why not.
Rise Leo x Cassandra:
Meh not bad
It's okay at best
I do feel like they could have become very close friends if Cass left junior under Leo's care in the bad future.
They are both reckless and over energetic and yet still have a lot of insecurities and issues that they have to cover it up.
Not a bad idea I suppose.
I guess 4.5/10. I don't know. We didn't get much of them so I mean.
Rise Leo x Junior:
ABSOLUTELY NOT
DNI IF YOU SHIP THEM
LEO WAS LITERALLY A FATHER FIGURE TO CASEY
"But I'm shipping the teen version of Leo with junior not adult-" NO. IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER.
ALSO IMAGINE DATING YOUR FRIEND'S SON. THAT WOULD BE SO DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE.
AGAIN, LEAVE MY PAGE IF YOU SHIP THEM.
Negative 0/10. Get the f out.
Rise Leo x April:
I've seen and been bombared by a ton of art regarding this ship on YT.
Controversial opinion: It's cute.
They both have the same energy and another controversial opinion but, Leo has a way closer relationship with April then Donnie. I've kind of seen more scenes with them together then with her and Donnie.
Though just like last time I prefer her being an older sister figure to him that Leo looks up to.
They both care for each other and love each other no matter what.
April pretty much comforts the turtles about their insecurities so she would do the same with Leo.
Probably a 6/10 or something. Again, prefer them as siblings but don't hate it. I'll kind of indulge in it tbh-
Mutant Mayhem Leo x April:
Better then 2012 Donnie's lmao-
They do have sweet moments
It's sweet they went to prom together
Mah boi was simping real hard
I feel like they should have gotten more scenes
I do feel like maybe April and Leo won't really happen or be cannon though. I don't know man. I'll see how it goes in the Tales of TMNT that will happen in 2024.
I'm really hoping they don't make it into a toxic love triangle or make it creepy or toxic.
I'll take this ship anyway as one of the only few good Leo romances.
It took them after 1987 to finally give Leo a good love interest.
the way he looks at her AHHHHHHHHH
The fanart of them together is really cute and wholesome (that made me remember that I still had that art request from you just sitting in my files- I didn't draw it because I didn't see MM yet- I'll try and get to it at some point I swear-)
Hope we get more scenes of them together
I'm unsure where I sit with this ship just yet. Again I'll see how it goes in the show.
For now, 7/10. I feel like a bit too high but you know what, whatever. The ship is okay so far.
Now...
Is anyone interested in Caprilnardo~?
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#tmnt fandom#rottmnt#tmnt 2k12#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt leo#tmnt casey jones#tmnt april#april o'neil#tmnt april o'neil#rottmnt april#rottmnt april o'neil#rise april#rise cassandra#rottmnt cassandra#rise casey#aprilnardo#caseynardo#leopril#rottmnt aprilnardo#rottmnt casey jones#rottmnt casey jr#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt leonardo#rise leonardo#caprilnardo#tmnt ships
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I hope it's okay to ask, but how are things? Looking forward to Underline The Gold on Sunday so much
Omg I'm looking forward to it too
Tbh I'm up to chapter 8 on that now so we're ready to really start pushing ahead with some of the side stories which is exciting
As for me, it's been pretty rough, anon, not gonna lie. I'm going to put this under a read more because I'm pretty honest and also because there's more than one 'I might have cancer' mention among other things:
I kind of thought I was doing fine and then it all got on top of me a couple of days ago and (self-harm mention) I ended up self-injuring due to autistic meltdown. Sometimes I don't realise how bad things really are until I'm at that stage and I have bruises and soft tissue damage to show for it. I've since talked to my doctor and therapist about it, but like...oof.
I've actually been taking a break from writing since I've hit 50k and I generally have a rule that I have to take at least 2-4 days off once I've hit that point, but I'm still pretty stuffed, but mostly for health reasons. I've written 14 chapters this month so I feel okay about the break lol.
On Friday (the day after the meltdown) I needed to have a hand X-ray (even right now, the knuckles in my left hand are really sore), see my GP for 40 minutes, talk to my therapist, organise an iron infusion (I have microcytic anemia and need an iron infusion again, which I think is my 5th or 6th - I need one about once every 2-3 years, and mostly the time between is the slow downward spiral of losing more and more iron until I'm truly fucked) and a meeting with one of the head haematologists in the state because my red blood cells are bullshit and weird (yay). Guess that explains the exhaustion.
I still need to organise a lymph node ultrasound (which is probably nothing, except there is like a 'higher than average' chance it could be metastatic cancer, since I do have tumours in my head right now that could metastasize, and the tumours are extremely close to the swollen lymph node - also I haven't had a virus).
I need to organise a meeting with a dermatologist, I need to organise a full abdominal MRI to see if I have any other tumours we don't know about, and I got an eating disorder management plan for restrictive eating, which does entitle me to like...cheaper dietitian appointments, but also formalises me as having an ED as opposed to 'disordered eating.'
On top of that I had to deal with a tribunal after my Dad had a catastrophic stroke a few months ago, and the tribunal was last month, to determine who would look after him. Our family is so broken and my stepmother so manipulative/vindictive that the government decided no one could be trusted and took care of his finances and healthcare themselves meaning none of us can have any real say in his future (truly the best outcome, but a damning one for the state of the family), and I also had to listen to my stepmother accuse my sister of being a criminal for 20 minutes with completely unfounded lies, and of course, my Dad has had a catastrophic stroke, and that's complicated. That's a whole...
That saga is so much anon, I cannot even begin to explain even the tip of that iceberg.
I've been spending a lot of extra time like scanning family photos and other things and packing items in his home for storage etc. and while that's been done now for over a month and a half, I guess the burn out started some time ago and it's just been slowly getting on top of me. Kind of the 'slowly boiling a lobster in a pot' analogy.
I've been overall quieter on Tumblr as a result of all of this, and it all just...destroyed me on Thursday, and ever since then I've been recovering.
I've just realised it's nearly 1.00am and I swear the last time I looked at the clock - which felt like 5 minutes ago - it was 11.00pm.
Oh and to top it all off I've had vicious 'not falling asleep until 4.00am' insomnia + increased nightmares because my PTSD has relapsed back into 'pretty severe.' So um, managing most nights on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, and that's bad for all my chronic illnesses, of which I have many.
Ah. Yeah. :(
Lemme rustle up some good news for you, anon, because I feel like this is just too much crap.
Bushflowers/wildflowers are really nice right now as it's turning to spring in Western Australia (it's Djilba in the Noongar seasonal system, which I prefer)
Rhubarb is in season so I'm making a lot of stewed apple and rhubarb as a comfort food.
Reading the manhwa Punch Drunk Love and enjoying it.
Asks like yours - even if all of this sounds dire - helps me to undestand that I actually do have good reasons to feel tired and that it's okay to take breaks and that's really valuable (sometimes - though rarely - people use my anon function to talk at me, rather than talking to me as a person, and I just...really value feeling like a person sometimes aslfkjsa) so while I might seem down, this has actually been nice to end my night on. Also you've reminded me that I am super excited/happy to share more Underline the Gold with people
I got some organisational stuff and organising stuff in the house makes me feel good.
I have an extremely good doctor and tbh for a long time I didn't, so like, every good specialist and doctor is worth their weight in gold. :)
I hope you're doing okay and looking after yourself / taking care anon, and that you get something good out of what remains of the weekend. <3 And for everyone who needs one, hugs are on the house.
#personal#cw cancer mention#cw self injury#cw PTSD#cw major depressive disorder#maybe you just wanted me to say that things are going good#but i assume folks know what i'm really like sdfalkfjsa#i'll generally be honest#and just give folks the option not to read it lol#anon i am on the strugglebus#i am going to bed#and i hope i'm not still awake and having flashbacks#in 4 hours#but like who knows salkfjsafs#actually last night was a lil better so maybe /crosses fingers
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I think it was you that reblogged the post about making friends or having friends a few days ago, if not feel free to ignore this. But if so I was hoping you (or your followers) could give me a little advice.
I dont have any friends, except my sister but I'm not sure how much that counts. I know people like me, I'm in a college group that's very tight nit and has a lot of parties and you can tell who people don't like because they don't get invited to the parties, I always get invited so I know people like me. But it ends there, they're happy to see me when I'm around but no one want to just hang out with me, no one's exchanging phone numbers with me or talking to me outside of school/ and school group related outings. I've kind of asked about it (not directly but enough to get an idea) and the general consensus is that they like me and I'm fun to have around but I'm weird. I'm not sure if they like having me around to make fun of me or just that they like having me in a group but not outside of that. I'm autistic but I try my hardest to mask and I'm not really sure what more I can do.
honestly, your friends sound like they kinda suck :/ not to be blunt about it, but like.
I would be pretty uncomfortable with "friends" thinking I'm too weird to hang out with. It's fine if people just don't click, but making it about some internet flaw you have that they just can't help but dislike? that sucks.
Also, you shouldn't feel like you need to mask in order to make friends. your friends should like you for who you are!
And if you're struggling to find that, maybe a good place to start would be some kind of affinity group; are there clubs for autistic or neurodivergent folks at your school? Disability advocacy? Queer groups or trans groups? Shared interests?
I know "be yourself" is a cliché, but like, you deserve to have friends who like you for who you are. you deserve friends you can be yourself around. if you feel like you need to pretend to be someone you're not in order to be friends with people, the problem is the people who aren't willing to accept you, not the person you are (obv with the exception of doing real harm to people, but that's not really an inherent personality trait).
I hope you're able to connect with some folks who deserve all the time and energy you clearly put into maintaining those friendships. you deserve so much better. 💙
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Book recommendations - science fiction
I couldn't put the pictures next to each other as half the books would fall off the picture, but I decided to continue with a selection of science fiction books. Some are set in space, but not all of the, because sci-fi as a genre is more than just space books so if you're not into space books perhaps one of the other books might be a good choice.
I'll start with Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant
This is not a space book. It's a mermaid book. And while you'd think that's fantasy, this one is actually a sci-fi horror. The way the mermaids are portrayed here is very scientific and also rather horrifying, which is why it's a scifi horror.
While the ending leaves an opening for a sequel, there is currently no sequel. As I understand, this is due to the publisher but if a lot of people were to buy the first one a sequel could still be possible.
Seven years ago, the Atargatis set out to the mariana trench to film a mockumentary about mermaids. The ship disappeared, and was discovered weeks later drifting somewhere with no one on it. Now, a new ship filled with scientists is traveling to the same area to find out what happened.
This book follows a wide cast of characters, but the main character is Tori. Tori is a marine biologist whose older sister was on the Atargatis and presumably died and she wants nothing more than to find out what really happened to her sister.
Some of the other major characters include Olivia, an autistic lesbian who is a tv presenter, the same job Tori's sister had on the previous voyage, deaf twins Holly and Heather who both have their own scientific expertise, dr. Jillian Toth, a marine biologist and siren expert at a time when people generally don't believe in mermaids.
There isn't a lot of romance in the book, but the main pairing is sapphic.
One of the greatest strenghts of this book is the use of science, everything in here is really believable, and the way scientists are portrayed. As very curious people who do not have a lot of self preservation (which is why they're looking for mermaids that might very well kill them all)
Next up is Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell, which I had to include if I'm making a sci-fi list although I've talked about it before as I used the premise from this book for the Stars Collide. The book on the picture is the UK edition, which I bought because at the time it was the only available paperback, but I'm kind of regretting that I don't have a US cover edition because I like that cover a lot better.
Winter's Orbit is a sci-fi romance that follows prince Kiem, a minor prince of the Iskat empire. When Kiem's cousin Prince Taam dies suddenly and unexpectedly, Kiem is rushed into an arranged marriage with Taam's widower Jainan to keep the treaty between Iskat and Jainan's home planet Thea.
It soon turns out Taam's death might not have been an accident and Jainan is a suspect, and Kiem and Jainan will have to navigate an investigation, possible conspiracy and their growing feelings for each other.
Winter's Orbit is equal parts sci-fi and romance, and I think one of the books where miscommunication is done well. It makes sense here for Taam and Kiem to misunderstand each other based on their past relationships, assumptions and expectations, and I would definitely recommend this if you like queer romance, sci-fi romance and arranged marriage stories.
Oceans' Echo is Everina Maxwell's second book, which I also discussed in my first book recommendations post. However, back then I hadn't gotten around to reading it yet and just wanted to show off my very pretty new book. Now I have read it and can tell you a little more about it.
Ocean's Echo is set in the same universe as Winter's Orbit, but featuring different characters set in a completely different part of the galaxy. You do not need to read Winter's Orbit to read this book. The only thing that appears in both books is the existence of the Resolution and their treaties and the remnants, but it'll make sense if you haven't read Winter's Orbit.
The story is set on a planet where they've done experiments with neuromodification, resulting in readers and architects existing. Architects are more common and can "write" people's minds, imposing their will on them, depending on how strong they are. Readers can read people's minds, and they are rarer, and generally not trusted, but their abilities do allow them to navigate chaotic space while mentally linked to an architect.
The main character is Tennal, a reader and walking disaster. He's conscripted into the military under very dubious circumstances, and is ordered to soul bound with young lieutanant Surit Yeni. This soul bond would essentially allow Surit to follow control Tennal's mind.
Surit is the son of a famous dead traitor general, and he is determined to prove he's not a traitor. He seems like the kind of guy who just follows orders, until he's told to soul bond with an unwilling Tennal. The moment he's told to do something unethical he throws that all obedient soldier guy thing out of the window and decides they have to fake a soul bound until he can help Tennal escape the military.
Compared to Winter's Orbit, this book leans more toward sci-fi than romance. It's more sci-fi with a major romance subplot than sci-fi romance, and I found myself less rooting for the romance, but more for the plot and the characters individually. I still liked them as a couple, but that's not the main focus here. It's very military focused, but in a way that portrays the military as an institution with dubious morals that they are mainly trying to escape from.
Next up is the Space between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson
This is a sci-fi not set in space but focused on interdimensional travel instead. In this world, interdimensional travel has been made possible, but there's a problem. You can only travel to worlds where you're already dead.
Cara, the main character, is exceptionally good at dying. So much that out of the currently discovered worlds, she is dead in 372 worlds and only alive in 9. This makes her an ideal candidate to travel to parallel worlds to do research them, which allows her to move from her poor community into the wealthier city, and if she keeps up the job long enough can even win her citizenship there.
I'm not sure how to tell more about the plot without giving everything away, but there are a few things I'll mention.
The second character on the cover is Dell, a Japanese woman who works with Cara and sends her on assignments and such. Dell has grown up in the city, and is unable to travel to other worlds herself because she's still alive in too many of them. She is also Cara's love interest.
This story, and the reason Cara is so good at dying, is largely about poverty and racism. Cara is a Black woman who grew up in an unsafe and poor part of the world, whereas Dell grew up wealthy, and spends a lot of time exploring that, and how the poor area Cara grew up in works in her world but also different worlds she travels too.
There are also a couple of twists that really surprised me and I didn't see coming. While I admit I'm not the best at predicting plot twists, I think this book has one that will surprise a lot of people.
On the Edge of Gone is an internationally published book by a Dutch author (which aren't many), and is set in the Netherlands. Amsterdam, specifically.
A comet is set to hit earth, and Denise and her family have been assigned a shelter to hide in for the blast. Unfortunately, Denise's sister Iris is not home in time and her drug addict mother is slowing her down too, she's never getting to the shelter in time. Through a teacher from Denise's school, she discovers a space ship that has not yet taken off that they can hide in for the blast.
The problem is, passengers need good practical skills to be able to contribute to be allowed on the ship, and Denise is an autistic teenager who doesn't know what she has to offer, nor her mother or sister. Still, she tries her best to secure them passage on the ship.
This book is written by an autistic author, and the autism is very well portrayed here. The story is mostly focused on Denise's relationship with her family and people she meets on the spaceship, and about her autism and the idea of having to contribute. It's not very plot heavy and not very fast paced, and the spaceship doesn't actually take off, it's hidden on Schiphol (Amsterdam airport), and remains there after the impact, after which Amsterdam is flooded. I imagine if disaster strikes, that is likely because Amsterdam is below sea level.
I would recommend this mainly for the autism representation, if you're looking for something fast paced with a lot of plot this one isn't for you.
Next up is the Darkness Outside Us, which is a survival story set in space
Ambrose is a trained astronaut. When his sister's distress beacon goes off on Titan where she was the first human to settle, a rescue missue is launched, and Ambrose is chosen to go find her.
But the rescue doesn't go as planned. Ambrose wakes up on the space ship with no memory of the launch, and it turns out there's a second part of the ship with a second astronaut he wasn't aware of, a spacefarer from a different country who locks himself in his own part of the ship and wants nothing to do with Ambrose. And the ship's a worn down mess, with lots of repair jobs Ambrose has to do.
To survive and succeed in the rescue, Ambrose and Kodiak, the other spacefarer, will have to work together.
This book is YA, but a lot of goodreads reviews will tell you it reads more as adult. I'm not sure if that's true, since YA is mainly determined by the age of the main characters, who are teenagers in this book, but if you're more interested in adult sci-fi I think you might still like this book.
There is a lot of emphasis on the themes of survival, isolation, and humanity and bonds between humans, it does get more philosophical than some other books on this list. Ambrose and Kodiak are completely alone on their spaceship, they only have each other, and much of the focus is on that. Their relationship also becomes romantic at some point.
The book is divided into 5 or 6 different parts or so, with the first one being the longest, and I won't say what divides them as that'd be a huge spoiler. However, as you go from part 1 into part 2 you're going to be very confused. It makes little sense, until it does, and I thought this was a very intriguing idea.
Last book on this list is Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao
Iron Widow is the first book in a duology with book 2, Heavenly Tyrant, coming out this August. The book is a reimagining of Empress Wu, the only female emperor in Chinese history, and many of the characters are based on Chinese historical figures. However, the setting is a futuristic sci-fi world inspired by ancient Chinese culture.
Huaxia has been under attack by aliens called Hunduns for many generations. The only way to fight them is with a chrysalis, a sort of robot that is piloted by a couple of pilots. Their shapes are based on Chinese mythological animals, such as the nine tailed fox and the vermillion bird.
The chrysalises are piloted by male pilots, paired up with a female concubine-pilot. No one really cares that the girls very often die.
Wu Zetian offers herself up as a concubine pilot after her sister was killed by a powerful male pilot outside of battle, to get revenge. And she gets it in an unexpected way. When she goes into battle with the pilot, she kills him through their psychic link and is labeled an Iron Widow, a female pilot who can sacrifice boys to power up a chrysalis.
She's paired with Li Shimin, the strongest male pilot in Huaxia, and the most controversial as he was on death row for killing his father and brothers and his execution has been postponed indefinitely because he's so powerful.
But Zetian won't let him kill her or tame her, she's had a taste of power and she won't stop until she's destroyed the system that treats girls as disposable.
Zetian is kind of unhinged in the best way. After she killed the first male pilot, she yells something like "I'm your nightmare" on camera, and I love her for it. She's definitely a morally gray character, but very easy to root for because she's pissed off because of the patriarchy and wants to take it down.
The two other major characters in this book are Shimin and Yihzi. I already talked a little about Shimin before. Yihzi is Zetian's secret boyfriend at the start of the book, and at some point while Zetian's paired up with Shimin he shows up again. His super power is that he's rich, his father is the richest man in Huaxia. At some point he literally says "You can't shoot me, I'm rich". He seems like a very sweet guy but he can actually be quite brutal when he wants to be.
All three main characters are bisexual and end up being in a polyamorous relationship which I really liked. The author described this book as 400 pages of Zetian and Shimin suffering while Yihzi has the most bisexual time of his life.
@alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @astriefer @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul @bottomdelioncourt @ikissedsmithparker
#book recommendations#queer books#poc books#science fiction#into the drowning deep#mira grant#winter's orbit#ocean's echo#everina maxwell#the space between worlds#micaiah johnson#on the edge of gone#corinne duyvis#the darkness outside us#eliot schrefer#iron widow#xiran jay zhao
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WIBTA if I don't want to contribute to paying for furniture for the house?
1/3/2024, Names changed. Sorry, this is a little long.
I (26) live with three roommates: Kay (22) who is my sister, Sam (22) who is Kay's high school sweetheart and fiancé, and Andy (25) who is Kay and Sam's best friend. All of us are autistic, queer, and neurodivergent in some way or another.
Background info; Kay, Sam, and Andy had had plans to move in together for several years with Andy moving cross country to do so. Kay and I both moved out of our parents house within a month of each other in Summer 2022, with Kay and Sam moving in together, and me moving into an apartment by myself. Early 2023 due to issues with my apartment and landlord and being unable/unwilling to stay there past my lease when it was up in six months, with some encouragement from our mother Kay asked if I wanted to move in with the three of them because Kay and Sam's lease was up around the same time mine was and they were already planning on getting a bigger place to live with Andy when he got here. Due to the aforementioned apartment troubles and having a hard time mentally living alone for the first time, I accepted. We found a small house and the four of us moved in Summer 2023.
Now we've butted heads a good bit the last couple months (especially me and Andy because we had barely known each other before moving in together and we have very different personalities), including a few very loud fights, but we have thus far managed to eventually talk it out and work it out and kept things mostly under control. I admit, there have been times where I was definitely the asshole in situations, but I've acknowledged that, apologized, and tried to improve my behavior since then. Anyway, this ask isn't about all those times.
A lot of my issues in the household stem from my depression and lack of motivation to get things done. A big contributing factor to that is that I am painfully aware I wasn't part of their original plan, and that leads to me not feeling wanted as part of this house. The three of them often do things without me like playing D&D, and hanging out/going fun places without me, while things I want to do with all of them just kinda never happens, like playing a video game or board game with one of them, or going out somewhere fun I want to go. Some of me not being included is completely justified like Kay and Sam's date nights, and some things while they do still sting a bit to be excluded from make sense why (like their D&D games that can get very NSFW, and I'm a sex-repulsed asexual. also being Kay's sister would make it extremely awkward regardless of my sexuality. I only found out about the NSFW nature of their games two weeks ago though), but certain things it doesn't feel like as good a reason for me to not be included or it's not actually communicated to me why I'm not invited to be part of something.
A REALLY big thing that contributed to these feelings I have was the day we got the keys to our house, as Kay and Andy were showing it to me, Kay told me "Just so you know, this isn't permanent. You're going to get your own place again eventually" with a soft deadline of two years because that's when another of their friends graduates college and might need a place to stay after. Over the last few months we have had several conversations about my feelings of being unwanted and Kay has apologized saying that what she meant that day came out wrong. What she meant by that statement was they all want to help me become more independent so that I will be able to move out and live on my own again one day when I'm ready since the first time didn't go so well. They were not/are not planning to kick me out, and the other friend moving in is just an idea that may not even come to fruition anyway. Even if it was partially a misunderstanding and there is no set time I need to be out of the house by, knowing that there is an end in sight has made it much harder for me to settle in because I don't feel like I can get settled since I'll just have to leave again at some point anyway even if that time is literal years away. Sorry if that doesn't make sense but that's the best way I can phrase it.
With all that background out of the way, I'll get back on track now. Kay and Andy have spent months planning on how to decorate the house and want to make the whole first floor (kitchen, living room, and shared craft space in the front room) themed like a medieval tavern. I haven't been able to give much input on how the house gets decorated outside of my own room. I've been trying to at least make my bedroom feel more homey since it's where I spend a lot of my time, but the common areas are much harder for me to feel comfortable and like I belong in because I don't have much control/input in how they will look. Which again, I know I'm not going to be here super long term, so it makes sense but it still sucks.
Now onto the actual situation here. There is a dining table set that Kay and Andy picked out that costs over $400 that Kay said on 12/25 she wants us all four to pitch in to get for the household for her birthday in a couple months. I am hesitant to contribute to this set, because I am not going to live with them forever. Obviously I pay my part to the household. I pay my fair share of rent, utilities, and food (though I will often make mini grocery runs throughout the week and I rarely if ever ask for money I spent back because I feel awkward about asking for money from any of them). I have already contributed towards furniture for the house but that is either things that are explicitly and exclusively mine despite household use (a tv stand I already had, a bookshelf I bought to display my things) and will come with me when I move out, or something that was a gift for someone else but still not ridiculously expensive (a $40 secondhand curio cabinet the rest of us got for Kay as an early Christmas present and various other small decorations for around the house).
There was another interaction today that has me a little upset. We've been thinking of getting a second TV for the living room so we can play online co-op games together. Who pays for the TV, determines who gets to keep the new one and who takes the old one when I leave. If the three of them want to keep the new TV, they're going to split the cost and I get the old one, however if I want the new TV I will have to pay for the whole thing myself. 1 person vs 3 people paying for something just feels unfair to me.
But the dining set feels different because it's a lot of money and I won't get to take any part of it with me when I eventually leave. With the TV I'd at least get to keep it. I feel guilty about not wanting to help pay for it, especially because Kay has said she wants it as a birthday gift, but if it almost feels like I'm just buying furniture for someone else's house. Honestly, I'll probably end up sucking it up and contributing anyway because I really don't like confrontation and tend to keep my feelings to myself anyway, but I just want to know other people's opinion on the situation.
Money has been a growing issue for me lately. I'm the only one with a stable, salaried job (barely pays above minimum wage though so it's not like I'm rolling funds), while Kay and Sam are hourly and Andy is between jobs right now. Like I said, I feel awkward about asking for money from any of them. Honestly I don't mind paying a little extra here and there to help out since I'm not much help with the cooking and cleaning, but the amount I have been contributing with no compensation has been eating away at my savings the last few months and I've been keeping silent about it because I don't want to make them feel guilty about it and make it awkward.
TLDR; I'm insecure and have trouble feeling wanted around by my roommates, and am expected to eventually move out. WIBTA if I don't want to help buy a dining set for the household because I won't get to take any part of it with me when I move out?
PS- If it's not too much trouble, could you please tag @aita-roommates-furniture so I am notified when this gets posted? Tumblr won't let me submit asks from a sideblog. If not, no worries! I'll just keep an eye out for it
What are these acronyms?
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In one of your recent posts you mentioned mastodon. I've been thinking of trying it out but I'm a bit overwhelmed by the amount of different servers. Which one would you recommend? Preferably ones that are trans and autistic friendly?
oh wonderful! always glad to help someone try something new.
some general info, before we start. for you and anyone else who may be reading this:
mastodon servers aren't isolated from each other. it's like how t-mobile and verizon are different phone networks but can call and text each other. it's also harder for larger servers to moderate their user base well, since the vast majority aren't run by businesses/professionals, just individuals. this aspect is similar to forums and discord. and so, pick whichever server you want based mainly on the server's rules and moderation! to be clear, i DO NOT recommend mastodon.social for the above reasons.
with that out of the way, here's my server recs!
if you take my word for it, you can assume they're all well moderated, LGBTQ+ friendly, and staunchly anti-fascist lol. that being said, always be sure and read the about and rules pages on any server before joining! i recommend reading through the rules of multiple servers even if you decide on just one, so you can get a better feel for how things work.
first, the three servers i have accounts on:
tech.lgbt / on the larger side, but really nice. main user base is lgbt people in the tech field (shocker) and a significant amount of furries (the overlap in this venn diagram is Huge) but you do not have to be one of those things or post that content to sign up there whatsoever!
cutie.city / smaller and super chill lgbtq+ run server, lots of general posting, cute pics, artists, etc. very easy to talk to, and very friendly! highly recommend this server if you are just starting out and feeling things out.
urusai.social / cool and friendly fandom focused server, mainly focused on animanga, light/web novels, e. asian dramas, video games, etc. it has a sister server (sakurajima.moe) you can also check out.
here's a few servers i'm not personally on (yet) but that i have friends on, have read the rules for, and have seen are well moderated:
mastodon.art / on the larger side, and is the main mastodon server artists and creators of all kinds join! friendly, with lots of fun events run by the main mod.
strangeobject.space / super small instance, really chill.
fandom.ink / another fandom focused server, but much more general and not so heavily focused on e. asian media.
honorable mentions that i have mutuals from but dunno much about personally: floss.social / mstdn.games / socel.net / queer.party
if you want to follow people who aren't on your server, all you have to do is place their account url into the search bar of your server and follow from there. (there's other ways to do this, but that's for another post, this one's long enough already). for accounts to follow after signing up, i recommend:
FediTips / nice account with tips for new users
FediFollows / run by the same person, they post follow friday lists of cool accounts to follow.
Curator / the admin for mastodon.art. boosts cool art a lot and has events (run through hashtags) that lots of people join, so you can find new artists
Hashtags / this isn't a specific account. on mastodon you can follow entire hashtags, similar to the way you can here, but better. it's one of the easiest and best ways to find new content and new people to follow.
Also, after signing up, your server will have a /directory page where you can easily find more people to follow!
once you're signed up, be sure to set up your profile, make an introduction post (and tag it with #introduction, hashtags are the best way to find people, remember), and have fun!
if you'd like to learn more about mastodon (either casually, or in depth) AllThingsTech and Fedi.Tips are great sites to do so! and you're free to ask me whatever you'd like about it as well, even if it's a "small" question.
P.S. - sorry for the long response, i hope it wasn't too overwhelming! i wanted to give more info not just for you but for anyone else who may be interested or confused.
TL;DR: the instances i linked are great to join! just look at the links, lol
#ask#ky speaks#mastodon#fediverse#im viralvulpes on those three instances btw feel free to follow me as well!
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I got what you meant immediately when you asked for STEM based toys for your niece. I've been racking my brain for things to recomend, since I used to teach preschoolers, but a lot of our activities were more art based or teaching the kids to recognize their names, tracing letters and numbers, animal recognition, that sort of stuff. (And I can give some suggestions on fun activities for that too if you'd like ^_^ )
Oh! There's a book, Ada Twist's Big Project Book for Stellar Scientists. Ada is a black girl who is coded to be autistic. It's recommended as 5+, so you're niece is slightly younger, but it offers a lot of kid friendly science project ideas. There's also a couple other Ada Twist books, like one that focuses on baking experiments
Another older ask but I do want to thank you! A friend I was complaining about this to [context: I want to make sure my niece is as encouraged in STEM as her older brother is, but currently she is mostly into glitter and disney princesses] also suggested the Ada Twist line of products, and I sent a few links to my sister who showed pictures of the toys to my niece and confirmed that she's interested in them and would be able to do the activities with some adult help.
So I'm pretty excited to have found a good product line that also allows her to see black people doing the stuff we're talking about, because god knows there's a serious lack of black representation in kids' media (let's be serious, in most media)
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it's a little bizarre how much importance you place in having an audience, via through your commentary on your sister's profile or through your tumblr. whenever you post there's this strange haze that surrounds it, like: is my suffering poetic enough to be consumed by the people that view my profile? idk. also pls stop serial dating. it is worrying due to the importance you put onto the other person so soon. you deserve to heal first so you can enjoy love without tanking it on accident.
what can i say i was bullied and ostracized from my peers from a young age bc i was adhd/undiagnosed autistic so any kind of attention i receive from others i automatically overthink it and feel the need to mask incredibly hard.
ALSO i am not a "serial dater" and placing that label on me is highly sexist. what screams "this girl is constantly dating someone" when i am gushing about a guy i've been talking to for quite some time ??? i haven't dated anyone for MONTHS and honestly i have a lot of apprehension about talking about my crushes/the ppl i'm talking to/dating online already so thanks for making me feel like more of a freak than i already do <3
but why the fuck am i explaining any of this to you, a random stranger online who thinks it's okay to come into my inbox and patronize me like this ????? what the hell is wrong with you ???? you literally do not know me.
#maybe this was sent with good intent but i find that incredibly hard to believe#youre obviously just fucking obsessed with me huh
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Hey there!
Was wondering if you would be comfortable with some headcanons about the CoD guys with Make-Up/Nail Polish? I've often seen Soap being the one who knows how to do them because he has sisters, or Ghost because he had an Emo-Phase. I'd really like to hear your takes on this.
I'm open to giving you my undying loyalty, but I also recently learned how to carve a duck out of wood, so I'd like to offer that first!
I'm seeing a lot of Soap having sisters, so I'm confused. Is that canon or did MJ cause that one? Or is it just generally fanon? Whatever, I like orphan Soap so I'm gonna stick with that
--
Rodolfo: Alright, for all my talk about feminization, I honestly think Rudy would be kind of useless with makeup. Like, really fashion in general, I don't think he has much of a want to really learn? So, I think makeup, fashion, all of that is just lost on him. Also, as an autistic person, if you haven't been conditioned, makeup can be SENSORY HELL. So, I think that contributes.
Alejandro: I think he'll wear black nail polish, but it's fairly shit. Other than that, it's not really for a masculinity issue, it's more that he just... doesn't want to deal with the discomfort that feminine stuff brings, because lets face it, a lot of it is uncomfortable. So, like, with makeup, I don't think he wants to deal with the feeling of it. Once nail polish is on, NTs typically don't notice it, unlike something that's a layer on your face. (Unless it's for a bet.)
Soap: Again, I just... can't see him as being that great with makeup But, I think this one is more that he does not want to go through anything tedious that he's not 100% into. It's a laziness thing, absolutely (He'll wear eyeliner and mascara, though, if prompted. He has also done a full face for a bet.)
Ghost: He obviously is good with makeup. I can imagine him in like Sephora, finding out what primer will keep his face covered the longest. "It's grease paint" I don't know what fucking grease paint y'all are using, but grease paint doesn't behave like his did in Ghost team. You know what does, though? Eyeshadow, eyeliner, and cream based eye makeups. Also, yeah, I think he paints his nails black when he's in his civvies.
Roach: Oh, one hundred is good with makeup. I very much see him as a "pretty boy" who loves enhancing that. If anyone has a problem with it, they can get shit. Doesn't do nailpolish, but that's a sensory issue.
Price: I think he's decent at it, but has no patience. Can whip out his skills if necessary, though, and blows everyone away. Will wear nailpolish, I think, but doesn't bother most of the time, since it's just going to chip off during missions
Gaz: Useless at makeup. I have no real... justification, but I can feel it in my soul that this man can't do makeup.
Alex: For the backstory I usually run with, I do think he'd be good at makeup, since his mom would make him help with it. I also think he's not afraid to use it if his facial hair is being a pain. However, I think that man puts so much effort into learning how to trim his hair to make it look cool. Which, I know isn't makeup, but I feel like it's in the same vein. Like, I think he took classes, so he could do it, himself, on missions.
Graves: He's southern, so likely not? However, he does know enough to tell others what to go with for colors and stuff. But, that's just because most southern men I know can't do makeup/nail polish for shit, but could definitely give you an answer when you asked them for a color.
Koenig: No. I think he tries but... no.
Horangi: Eh. I think he could if he put his mind to it, but when is he ever going to have to? Black nail polish, definitely though
#rodolfo parra#alejandro vargas#johnny soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#gary roach sanderson#john price#kyle gaz garrick#alex keller#phillip graves#koenig cod#horangi cod#call of duty
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