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#I'm so sorry but this is my hyperfixation and there's like no content for it
maybemoltenlava · 11 months
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flashing from 1:28-1:30
men in black as vines and tiktoks but I've only seen the og trilogy
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ravencromwell · 5 months
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Ros Vortalis trans headcanons
There are some remarkable trans Holland fics and headcanons, but can we talk about Ros Vortalis, whom all of his friends simply call Vor? Who, even when he’s _dying Holland calls Vor, to be expected, but also Vortalis which’s so much longer than Ros.
A bit of googling informs me Ros is “protector” in German, which’s chef’s kiss one hundred/ten no notes V.E. But it’s also, more frequently, a diminutive of Rosalind. Disclaimer before I start these that I respect and love! the headcanons of Makt as fairly gender nonrestrictive, with power being more of a defining factor of treatment. My Makt, however, is more complicated, with gender and gender transitions being imperfect but still a site where joy can be created, much like the rest of White London existence. Putting the rest of these beneath a cut with that in mind because as a trans person, I know some days I can’t handle transness as careful complication to be navigated and don’t want to inflict it on anyone unprepared. (Though, I promise! there’re fluffy as fuck nsfw Vor/Holland and Vor/friends headcanons in here to cut the angst.)
Ros retains a shortened form of his given namefor business purposes within the Shal—we know Shal means “market” in Red London, and I tend to think it means the same in White, such that when Holland calls him a “thug from the Shal” he’s referring to Vor being in the merchant/smuggling business. When he transitions, he’s relatively young and honestly to flagrantly demand a name change would be seen by too many as blood in the water. His greatest focus, always, is Makt rather than his personal happiness and he’d rather be burdened with the “nickname” Ros and be capable of rising in the Shal in service of becoming king.
There’re two ways of transitioning: the easiest and least painful is utilizing a spell similar to Astrid’s with Lila and stealing a face and voice. But that spell fades with death and though Vor understands that his body is likely destined for desecration once he’s gone as Makt’s people drain its blood and magic, there’s still this stubborn demand that they destroy a body without the face that made him shudder every time his child self caught a glimpse (he is so grateful for a lack of mirrors in Makt for much of his young adulthood.)
So he chooses the harder, excruciating method: finds a bone magician to permanently reshape his body. Session after session, over months traveling abroad on a ship with only the open sea and crew to hear him scream himself hoarse.
The first time they share a bed, Holland strokes along the broadened shoulders, runs fingers along the scars on his chest—eyes fixed on Vor’s all the while— and murmurs: “If they did not believe you would hold the throne, they were fools.”
“I’m flattered.” He’s bright-eyed, with that deep, rolling-sea laugh.
“After this, very little would stop you.” Fools have marveled at the extent of spells across his body, and inwardly he howls in hysterical laughter because there is very little to dull pain in Makt, and the shipboard pain was so vast it made everything else feel like pinpricks by comparison. He’s never bedded someone who would know that as intimately as the man who had done his damndest to use that same magic in stopping Vor’s fist before it connected with his face, and the admiration uncoils something deep in his chest. “Sometimes I’m certain I can’t keep it. One moment it will be there and then not.” He manages a farse of a smile “Foolish, after all these decades, but such is the weakness of your future king, Holland.”
“Lucky you would have an Antari to put it back, then.”
By the time he returned to London, voice rumbling deep from an expanded chest, people understood quickly to use “Ros” with the proper pronouns or see just how effective the runes on his hands were. But well…Ros is an easier shirt than Rosalind to slip into, but it will never sit comfortably. As he develops allies, he finds that Vor and Vortalis fit easier. And it becomes a good gauge for trust. Those who understand implicitly how painful his given name is and respect that, are people worth keeping. It becomes easier, as fewer and fewer people survive who remember Rosalind.
There are far too many moments to count when former friends or lovers try to use “Ros” as a weapon, with a little smirk that says: “You never said we _couldn’t call you that.” And he’s deeply glad he made a relatively small name fuss and provided only a small chink in his armor. (Those sorts of people tend, inevitably, to cause the use of his knives. As though letting them close and showing kindness is an invitation for open season. But such are the risks in Makt, and he is a man who craves touch and closeness. What good to craft the ideal body only to never have it appreciated. The way Holland simply…withdrew from people after Talya is something almost unfathomable. Whether they’re the closest of friends or both king and night and! king and beloved—which’s pretty much always in my head—there’s a deep, profound ache that he could never touch Holland enough to make up for too many years alone.
It’s the dimmest flicker every time he sees the “knight” and “Antari” masks slip, when Holland leans against his shoulder or puts his head in Vor’s lap, eyes half-closing at fingers in his hair. But, simply because the task is nigh on impossible, doesn’t mean he won’t do his best. Vor touches Holland Vosijk a hundred thousand times in those two years of rule—and so, so many more if they both survive—and is so very, very grateful he could take the touches the best of his lovers and allies offered over the last thirty years. (On a slashy front, can we also just talk about how, as a couple, there’s an incomparable way arousal and awe intertwine for Vor _every time Holland reaches out and shows affection: a kiss against his temple as Vor lets their foreheads rest together; a hand moving slow and easy down his back. To be trusted enough for the most guarded man he’s ever met—it took Vor _months to convince him to kill Gorst and he’s never had to work so hard or wanted so desperately for someone to say yes in his life—to touch him is such a valuable thing that he has immense responsibility not to break.)
Also in couple’s verse: If Vor has a small regret, it’s that the bone magicians are far more skilled with outward, above-the-waist presentation—because the best of them have not only done this for trans people, but for criminals etc. seeking a disguise. Thankfully, they had no trouble cutting him open to ensure he would never be with child—he doesn’t have the vocabulary for dysphoria, but the idea of his stomach rounded and heavy is one of the few things that can make him viciously soul-deep terrified. But the below the waist equipment well, it’s not a magic Makt has the luxury of learning.
By the time he meets Holland, it’s the very faintest of regrets: he has a collection of strap-ons for when he and a lover want to indulge in that particular fantasy—and is comfortable enough in his skin it’s an indulgence and not a requirement. It’s beautiful to watch lovers slide to their knees and take them in their hands or mouths or slide inside and watch them arch with pleasure. But oh, oh he wishes he could _feel it. It’s not a complaint worth voicing, and honestly after he becomes king, there’s very little time to indulge.
But one day, Holland comes back, smelling of flowers holding a box, tells the guards to wait at the end of the hall because he has crucial business from “the other London” for the king’s ears alone, which has Vor intrigued and concerned because he hasn’t come close to asking Holand to send a message. But before the concern can swell to anything beyond a flicker, he sees a flush so faint anyone would miss it who wasn’t watching. (Even before the Danes, Holland held his feelings and desires in an iron grip; Vor learned early in sharing a bed that Holland loathed the idea of being heard by those not his lovers when losing control: not merely a discomfort that could add spice to an evening, but viscerally, the way it would take everything Vor had to turn his back on an armed opponent.) This is pleasure, not business and he flicks his fingers in a silent command before they can even turn to look.
"Go get yourselves some dinner,“ he says for good measure, "If there is a foe Holland cannot protect me from, there’s little more bodies can do.”
When he opens the box…there are the usual straps but the cock. The cock feels like _skin. “The Arnesians-” and oh, there’s still so much contempt in those words “With their infinite supply of magic have learned to transmute. From earth to bone, and then something softer. There is an illusion for the Arnesians who want to forget the straps.” There were layers upon layers beneath that statement: neither of them wished, at least then, to go begging for scraps, but to _take a little of the bounty Arnes had hoarded,
“_Yes!”
Neither of them know how the illusion works: it is as mysterious as the fireworks Holland has seen that fool his eyes into certainty dragons fly across the unbearably vivid Arnesian sky. It does not matter; in those moments when Holland’s mouth is hot on skin, Vor is utterly, entirely certain Holland is swallowing down the cock he has always had.
It’s almost too much, leaves him speechless for the first time in decades, has Holland scrambling up and onto the bed even as his eyes are still glassy from watching the king come undone to wrap himself around Vor’s back until the world comes into focus again. “Is it only good once or-” he asks, finally and Holland’s smirk is wicked.
When he’s upending the Ost table and coughing up blood—, so much, too much kajt I hope Holland can take the throne because whoever these bastards are they can’t rule, the thing he clings to: more than “Stay with me"—though he _tries—, more than the raw panic in Holland _swearing—is the name. _Vortalis, he says when the table overturns—though it would be such a forgivable mistake to use Ros. Vor, he says while chanting stay and one of his blood spells. He will die as who he made himself, not as he was born.
The three threads of coherence for Holland are the blood spell. That Vor _has to stay. And that if he cannot be enough to stop this, he _will not let Vor die hearing him use the wrong name.
In verses where Vor lives, they both know the "thank you” when he wakes is not for the healing, though to be alive is a joy.
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jinxxed-vexx · 1 year
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so it was you putting the twilight stuff in my dash............. keep it up brother
This ain't one of my discord profiles for nothing. >:3
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mirlyutera · 11 months
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Guys . Its Getting dire. I slightly need to Finish myself off (joking)
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yourthirdparent · 1 year
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how is jason both an older brother figure and a father figure? good question. have you ever played obey me
#unfollow me rn i'm hyperfixating#i won't share content about it other than this post but i can't promise i won't randomly hop in the tags of a post and mention a character#but if i say lucifer it's referring to my friend luci i do not give a shit about the obey me character and will never mention him#not tagging fandom or character#sorry about all the tags rip#allfatherly guidance#also yes i know there are. issues with obey me. i've played the game. i've seen the problems. i'm hyperfixating anyways#whatever i'm practically a pjo blog you guys are familiar with media with Oddities c'mon#also to that one person who follows me who's dni includes obey me fans i'm so sorry#bonus pologies for tags tag#also i will elaborate on what the fuck this means if asked OR if i feel like it#bonus BONUS pologies for tags tag woah#i cannot shut the fuck up wow#still into jj though! if i make original posts or reblog any fandom content it will probably still be about him#i will come out of my shitty demon dating sim induced haze if i see him he's more than just a character to me he's like a person#it's like how i'll reappear from the woods if i hear my children calling my name yk#wow i literally don't shut up i should make a tag for when it gets this bad so people can block it so tumblr will warn them of my tags#or so they don't have to see what i rambled about for so long it needed a tag ever again#i want it to be a reference to this post actually but like so stupid that nobody who knows this post or even the context would get it#so not even i'll get it later#so uuhhhhhh block uhhhhhhhhhhh#the devil is the father of fathers and brother of brothers and god is satan's chippering son#← block that one that's for if i ramble on for like 20 fucking tags like now that's my shut the fuck up god tag#literally just block it and never read the rambling it's not worth it the post wouldn't be worth it#i should make a pinned post just to tell people to block that tag#could explain anything about who i am (probably should considering i haven't even officially posted my name) but no#it's just gonna be like ↓BLOCK THIS TAG↓ and the only tag is that#actually i'm gonna make that pinned. first i have to figure out how to pin a post
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waffietato · 2 years
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I pity literally everyone who follows me
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griffonsgrove · 4 months
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Hiiii!!! See your doing writing requests for Hazbin, Its my hyperfixation so I am in need of more content 👀 so I'd like to request maybe Vox general or NSFW headcanon ( either one is good lol-) with a afab reader maybe? This is my first time requesting something like this so sorry if I'm a little nervous or bad at requesting. I think this is how people are supposed to request? XD
General Dating Headcanons | Vox
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a/n: You're totally alright dear! You said everything just fine! As I've stated before, I got early access to the first two episodes, and it's been so interesting to analyze vox's character! I hope I can do him justice!! He's starting to grow on me now. I'm gonna stick with a gn!reader just because these are general headcanons and I want them to be suited for anyone!
fandom: Hazbin Hotel
wordcount: 1299
cw: SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL, swearing, vulgar content, stalking, death and mentions of death/murder., toxic/absuive relationships.
(PLATONIC):
Vox’s got eyes EVERYWHERE in hell. There is no escaping his line of sight unless you go completely off the grid. Which is pretty difficult to do when the entirety of pentagram city is covered head to toe in VoxTech.
However, if you don't pose a threat to him, he really doesn't give a shit about you otherwise, and won’t pay that much attention to your life.
When you first fell into hell, you were mostly confused as to how you wound up here in the first place. That quickly subsided into fear as you noticed the large variety of demons and sinners casually walking down the sidewalk like it was an average tuesday. 
You’ll never forget the sight of seeing a demon gnaw off the arm of another and swallow it whole, like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. 
You wander aimlessly down the streets, keeping to yourself and being very cautious of those around you. Your clothes were in tatters, and you didn't have any form of money whatsoever, what were you to do??
You had two options: Somehow find a job in this new horrific realm, or, die.
You didn't care too much for the latter.
This is how you stumble across one of the largest studios/clubs in hell, owned by probably the most feared overlords in pentagram city. The V’s. 
You get hired to be nothing more than a waiter/waitress, to serve the patrons of the club, mostly serving them their drinks.
You weren't too fond of the work uniform either. It left nothing to the imagination, and exposed alot of skin, far too much to your liking. The job actually paid somewhat decently though and it was enough to be able to sustain a living. You were quick to rent out the nearest apartment.
One day, while you’re out on the main floor, making your rounds, your eyes briefly lock with the TV demon across a sea of sinners. Call it cheesy, but it was almost like a spark went off the moment he laid eyes on you. Which is something that doesn't happen often with the tech-savvy overlord. Who were you??
He lazily beckons you over with a claw, to which you obediently follow, although it doesn't hide the sheer nervousness written all over your face, He gives you his drink order in that sultry, velvet voice of his, eyeing you up. You gulp slightly and are quick to bring him his order. He thought you were so cute trembling for him.
He begins to stalk observe you closer after that. If you have any electronic devices he’ll watch you through your screens, trying to get a glimpse into what your life was like outside of work. The things you enjoyed doing in your free time, favorite shows, foods etc.
He def goes through your search history.
He would start showing up more in the sections you worked at, oftentimes minding his business, but occasionally striking up a conversation with you.
You did have to admit he was quite the charmer, his smooth voice was hypnotic to you.
OBSESSIVE TENDENCIES. If he notices some creep won't leave you alone while you're working, he’ll take care of them personally, it’s never a pretty sight afterwards. He cant have anyone taking what's his.
You're oblivious to his stalking and possessiveness, you don't think much of it, maybe that's because he puts on a friendly face when you’re around him.
But after some time of getting to know you, He’s the one that eventually asks you out on a “date”. You’re skeptical at first, but decide to accept his offer. And also partially because you were afraid of what would happen if you said no.
(ROMANTIC):
Ngl it’s kind of a situationship in the beginning.
Vox is a busy man, it’s constant work maintaining the studios (especially valentinos temper) and managing the entirety of hell's technology. So, he may ghost you at first.
That being said, He will still keep an eye on you. He often watches through your phone while you sleep, just to make sure you’re safe. Hell is a dangerous place after all.
Speaking of, you’re now under the protection of the V’s, so that’s a plus! You never have to worry about another demon laying a finger on you. They usually never get close enough to anyways.
He very easily gets jealous. He won't show it on the outside because he has an image to uphold, but you can tell every time from that crazed look in his eyes.
Vox is a possessive lover; he wants to keep you all to himself. If he could, he’d keep you locked up by his side all day.
CONTROLLING. He HAS to know where you’re at, at all times, and who you’re going to be with (lest you face one of his tantrums). Also dictates what you wear, He likes to dress you up to his liking, like you’re his own personal doll.
Insecure much?
Say goodbye to privacy btw. He constantly has you in the back of his mind and a watchful eye on you. It can be kind of suffocating at times. The two of you have gotten into a few arguments because of this.
Valentino gets jealous of you too. How dare you take his boy-toy away from him? He’s often giving you the stink eye and will threaten you behind vox’s back. You’re too scared to tell Vox, because you don't want to face Val’s wrath.
You know briefly of his and Val’s “relationship” it all had seemed very one-sided and completely unhealthy.
You're often having to calm Vox down. The man has a very short temper and is easily provoked. 
Imagine you pressing little kisses to his screen after he found out about Alastor’s return. He remains stoic, but secretly enjoys your affection.
Some of the pet names he loves to call you include; Doll, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart, Babe.
Pretty old-fashioned ik, but he's a classy man alright?
He tends to be pretty touchy, always having a clawed hand on the small of your back, or an arm wrapped around your waist. It’s more of a possessive trait of his, to keep what's his close.
He loves having you sprawled on his lap while he’s in his screen room, you stay nuzzled into his side, often taking naps while he does broadcasts.
He TOTALLY spoils you btw. He’s one of the most powerful overlords in hell, ofc he has the money to show it. Whatever dingy apartment you had before, forget about it bc this man has you living in a penthouse suite in one of the most expensive apartment buildings. He sees you looking at something in a store or online?? Boom, it’s yours now.
He loves buying you clothes, as I’ve said before, you're his “doll” and he loves playing dress up with you.
And if you buy him something?? He’s taken by surprise at first, he’s never really been on the receiving end of that affection, so whatever it is you give him he’ll cherish it.
If you ever have someone bothering you, or want to get rid of, you just say the word babe. He’ll be feeding them to his sharks >:)
The man is emotionally constipated, ok?? All he’s ever known from relationships is what he shared with Val (and trust me that was a train wreck). He’s rough around the edges, short-tempered and isn't always easy to get along with, and he’s incredibly possessive which can be suffocating to deal with at times. This probably stems from him not wanting to actually be alone, He doesn't want you to slip out of his grasp, so he keeps a tight leash on you. But underneath all these flaws, he really does love you and care about you. At the end of the day, He just wants someone that will stay.
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neytui · 2 months
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Happy Leap Year + Happy Year of The Dragon + Happy Birthday Hiccup!!! 🎉✨
I know this is not confirmed on the movies or anything, but I guess it's the closest I can get to Hiccup's birthday so I'll take it.
I'll also take the chance to talk a lil about my feelings below, pardon meee
I've been liking httyd since it first came out, I remember being a kid and not understanding half what what's going on with the movie but there where dragons so I couldn't give a shit. I don't remeber my first time watching httyd2 but I fucking wish I did, the only one I remember watching for the first time is httyd3 cuz I went to the cinema and cried a fucking toooon, also got the only official merch I had and it's a pop corn bowl hell yeah.
Anyways, even when I have loved it my whole life, there have only been few times I've got hyperfixated on it, I think this is like the fourth/fifth time or smth, but it's the first time making content and posting :) and I didn't imagine there would be people out there who could care about it. I'm here to thank all that people, all of you thank you for liking my stuff and for reblogging with all that funny and caring tags, I read all of them, sometimes take some pictures of them bc of how much of an impact they made me feel, I wish there were a easy way to answer to them :') Httyd means a lot to me and I genuinely think it has formed some of me as a person through the years. I could write about it all day but this is getting so loNG IM SORRY, one day I could write more about it maybe, but till then, letting you know I care about this way too much and thank you so much for the support, love y'all ❤ Happy Birthday Hiccup
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loveofdetail · 7 months
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i want to talk about Gale's "I'm not quite sure I'd consider myself father material" line because I think a lot of the fandom brushes it off as just another manifestation of his profound negative self-image but ummmmmmm. well i simply hard disagree. i think he's RIGHT, i think this is a moment of him having an honest and accurate self-assessment: he wouldn't be a good parent.
i do not say this as hate, i say this as someone who also would make a terrible parent. i'm impatient and intense about my own wants and i won't give up the freedom to do frankly irresponsible shit from time to time. i know this about myself and i look at gale and go "same hat."
if i'm being fully honest i find the quantity of pregnancy/parenthood content in the gale dekarios tag really off-putting. yes i have filters but they simply don't catch everything. i'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, if that's what you like go wild with it no judgment etc etc. i know it's Just One Line of dialogue and a pretty ambivalently phrased one at that and it's everybody's inalienable right to ignore canon anyway, so...
but. man. in my heart of hearts it is genuinely alienating to see a character who 1) struggles with impulsiveness 2) struggles with suicidality 3) has a tendency to dismiss people who aren't on his level 4) is in the depths of navigating his own selfish/ambitious streak 5) hyperfixates on intellectual interests to a sometimes unhealthy degree and MOST OF ALL 6) expresses real doubt toward the idea of parenthood!!! ...get fandomified into The Perfect Dad. sorry.
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babiebom · 3 months
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Completely understandable that you don't do full on smuts!!! Maybe just a Seb x autistic reader smut drabble? Or whatever youre comfy with!! I'm not picky ^_^
A/N: it took me a while to figure out what I was comfortable with that was good enough to post so I hope you like what I wrote!! Since I don’t write smut I hope this wasn’t too bad or awkward for you to read. I’m gonna try and get better at it so at some point I can actively write smut without feeling all weird about it. Also again hopefully I wrote this in a way that is like obvious that it’s autism but not in a stereotypical way? It’s kinda how my hyperfixations work? Idkidk
Tw:sexual content, cursing. Let me know if there’s anything else I should tag
Wc:0.5k
Stardew Masterlist
Your mouth held still around his throbbing length as you swallow multiple times. He squirms above you, hands balled up at his sides. “H-how long are you going to do this?” He asks. You suck experimentally a couple times before coming up for air.
“I don’t know…I have to try everything out!” You move your hair back out of your face, taking one of his hands and helping him grip near your scalp. “If this’ll help then go ahead and pull”.
His eyes roll back as you put your mouth back onto him. His grip on your hair tightened and he moans loudly. You suck harshly, trying to take more of him down your throat. When you hit the back, your throat tightens uncomfortably, trying to push out the offending object.
Removing your mouth once more, you huff in annoyance. “The stupid guide said that if I practice I could do it…”
Sebastian breathes in a ragged breath, blinking rapidly. His mouth opens and closes a couple times, sucking in breaths as you continue to stroke him. Your phone is in your hand, the website you’ve been using as a guide pulled up. It was new, this hyperfixation on blowjobs in particular. Only having become your obsession about a week ago, and for that week you had been training yourself to get rid of your gag reflex, but obviously now it’s not working.
Lapping at his dick, you breathe in and take him in as far as you got the last time, breathing in through your nose. He bucks his hips up, hitting the back of your throat in quick jabs. Tears spring in the corner of your eyes. In annoyance you punch at his thighs, trying to get him to keep his body under control.
Rather than calming down, your angry little punches rile him up even more, his moans growing louder by the second. You whine, looking up at him not bothering to take your mouth off of him anymore.
“I can’t help it…” he grunts, now totally taking control to fuck your face. “You’re just doing too good”. You allow him to thrust, his head thrown back as he allows himself to chase the release he had wanted for an hour now.
Thankfully for you, his thrusting allowed you to take almost all of him in your mouth, getting farther than you had when you were focused on that and that only. Sebastian curses loudly as he finishes in your mouth, whining as you swallow around him.
Sitting back, you look up at him proudly not bothering to fix your hair as you wipe at your face. His face is red and sweaty, his eyes closed and his head tilted back as he tries to catch his breath. “I’m…so sorry…” he pants.
You shrug, moving to sit on his bed, knees aching. “Doesn’t matter…we can try again in an hour or two.”
He looks up at you, and chuckles at the unashamed smile on your face. This is going to be a long couple of weeks.
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nomadstucky · 3 months
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Title: I'm so in love with you. Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Fem!Reader WC: ~3.7K Content Warnings: SMUT (Unprotected, Simon is a biiiit of a bottom, Simon likes being bit) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, feels, Reader gets injured, angst but it does have a good/happy ending. I know I just posted a Simon Riley fic, but the brain rot DO be brain rotting. My current hyperfixation. I have lots of other stories half-written or fleshed out for all the characters I write for, and I am getting to them, I promise!!
Wonderfully beta'd by the ever amazing @universitypenguin - if you have not read anything Alice has posted, please do so! The Princess and The Lawyer is AMAZING!!
Requests are open, feel free to submit, and to those who already have, I promise I am working on them!!
It was moments like these that you genuinely dreaded, sometimes wishing that you had chosen something different. Everyone, even now, always questioned why this was the career chosen. You had never been able to fully answer, always giving a vague, ‘I’m in it for the same reasons everyone else is.’ Never truly knew why, what pulled you here. 
The satisfaction when you had won was unlike any other, but so were the nightmares. The constant replay of the field, the battles, the close calls that could have ended up much worse. It was never about you, no, rather your teammates. The close calls they faced, that were your fault. If you had been a few seconds quicker, or had just slowed down and aimed properly, you could’ve avoided these moments.
That’s where you currently found yourself, in a meeting with Captain Price, and Lieutenant Riley. Both very terrifying men. At least, Price was trying to make it easier on you, giving soft smiles, and ‘Ghost, relax. Everyone makes mistakes.’ 
A bite of ‘doesn’t matter, they should be able to conduct themselves properly.’ Was fired back. It was no secret the Lieutenant had a distaste for you. Maybe because you were ‘reckless’ as he had described you multiple times. Perhaps it was because at the end of the day he ended up having to save you more than once. Soap had attempted to calm your nerves one day, explaining ‘he gets like this with everyone. ‘S not just you.’ 
You saw the way he acted upon passing. With other soldiers, it was a very slight almost imperceptible nod of his head, but for you the ever-present scowl on his face seemed to deepen. No matter what you had tried, you could never get that recognition that you so desperately wanted. 
“Captain,” you said, gaining his attention, “W-While I appreciate the help, he’s not wrong. I-I don’t agree with the way he’s making his points, but I should’ve been paying more attention. Gaz could’ve been seriously hurt i—“ 
“He could’ve been killed! Because of you!” Ghost’s voice boomed across the Captain’s office. You jumped in your seat.
“You’re absolutely right,” you said looking at Ghost, “and I am sorry.” 
He grunted in response, before stalking out of the room.
“Ignore him, he’s stressed out over the next mission.”
You shook your head, “He’s right. Gaz could’ve died because of my mistake.” The guilt sat stationary in your chest. 
Price offered a sympathetic smile, “Ghost’s has also had some close calls. That is very similar to the potential today. We all have had some pretty close calls. Don’t let him get in your head.” 
You nodded, and rose from the chair on a shaky breath, “thank you.” 
Price nodded, “You’re welcome. There’s a debriefing in an hour.” He reminded. 
You nodded and walked out to get ready for the meeting. 
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Three hours later you had found yourself in the middle of the battlefield. According to Price, it should’ve been an ‘easy’ mission. Gather the intel and get out, you hadn’t planned for the ambush. You had been almost positive you were safe, hidden behind a barrel, Ghost beside you. That was until you caught sight of the enemy behind you. 
You caught them raising their gun, aiming for the lieutenant. Soap screamed for him, you pushed him clean out of the way before hearing two gunshots ring out. One of which had pierced the enemy, knocking him down instantly. The other lodged itself into your thigh. You didn’t quite register the shot at first. Not until Soap was by your side. 
“Just go. Scan the perimeter, make sure there’s no more, make sure Gaz has the intel.” You spoke before he even had a chance to say anything to you. Soap ran off, you sat yourself down, still hiding behind the barrel. Your hand weakly pressing against the wound in your thigh. 
You leaned your head back against the barrel, closing your eyes as your hand was replaced by Ghost’s gloved appendage. You whined as he put more pressure than you had been. “I know, I know. Stay with me.” 
You giggled softly, “ironic, isn’t it?” Your head rolled to the side. “This time it wasn’t you saving me.” 
You watched Ghost’s eyes pass between your face and your leg repeatedly. His voice became distorted as he spoke into the walkie on his shoulder, more than likely explaining the situation to Price, and Gaz. Your eyelids grew heavy, so you opted to keep them closed. 
You could hear the concern in Ghost’s voice, but you could no longer hear the words. Could still feel the gloved hand pushing at your skin, but no longer the pain. You slowly allowed yourself to fall into the unconsciousness pulling at you. 
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You came to, to the sounds of beeping and hushed voices. Confused, you opened your eyes, “Jesus.” You squinted, looking around. You found Price, and Ghost by your bedside. 
“Hey. How do you feel?” Price spoke, keeping his voice soft. 
“What happened?” Your voice came out weak. Ghost handed you a small paper cup with a straw. Noting he didn’t have the gloves on anymore. 
“Drink this. Small Sips. ” He spoke. You took it, taking a small sip as he instructed.
“You were shot.” Price spoke up again, and everything came back to you, “You were lucky. The bullet missed the femoral artery. Small fracture, you’re off for the next 8 to 12 weeks.” 
“8 to 12 weeks?” Your eyes widened, “No, Price there has to be a mistake! Surely it won’t take that long!” You handed the cup back to Ghost.
“That’s what the doctor has said, and that’s what we’re going by.” Price told you before his phone went off, and he walked out to take the call. 
You groaned, throwing your head back into the pillows. Ghost chuckled before handing you the cup again, “I bet you’re really regretting taking that bullet for me now huh?” 
You looked over at him, “not at all,” you smiled, “but I have to ask, where’d the gloves go?” 
You heard, more than saw, the audible gulp he took. “Had to take them off.” 
You nodded like you understood the implication of what he was saying. Which you did. You remembered him pressing his hands down against the wound trying to get the blood to clot. Saw how your blood stained the white part of the skeleton fabric. 
When you looked back up at him, you could see the fear. For once you saw your strong-willed, cold-hearted lieutenant, genuinely scared. For you. Like he was reliving what happened. Like he couldn’t believe you were still here. 
The word lucky rattled around in your brain. Echoing Price’s infliction. You were incredibly lucky, though you weren’t sure you’d admit it out loud. Something had shifted. You weren’t able to pinpoint exactly what, but something in the air of your hospital room felt different.
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The aftermath of a mission always did funky things to you. Things you could never fully understand. Adding to that, the fact that you had been out of commission for the last 10 weeks. You had been a little rusty. Which was how you found yourself being dragged out to Ghost’s office. You were sure that he was mad, that he was going to berate you when he called you to his office. However, he led you past his office, and into his personal quarters. “You’re always such a problem.” He said as he closed the door behind you. 
“I didn’t see it!” You watched him. 
“I’m not saying anything.” He defended. 
“You are! You’re saying that I’m a problem.” 
“Because you are. I consistently am having to step in and save your ass because you’re so reckless.” 
“You can’t seriously sit there and get caught up in the few times you’ve saved me! Are you serious?! This is a fucking joke. You’re a fucking joke.” Your voice raised, anger shooting through your body. 
Ghost glared at you. “I’M the joke?! You must really think highly of yourself!” 
“Highl— What?! This is. No. No! I’m leaving. I will not allow you to sit here and treat me like this.” You stomped towards the door. You didn’t make it very far, before Ghost’s hand wrapped around your upper arm. 
“Do you care so little for your own life?” He spun you around to face him.
”What?” 
“Honestly, you’re reckless on the field, you almost stepped on a damn landmine today!! You took a bullet for me!” 
“I told you, I didn’t see it! I’m not reckless, and who knows what would have happened if I had let the bullet hit you! You could’ve died! I wasn’t willing to watch anything happen to you, when I could’ve helped!” 
“Why?!” 
“Because I care about you! Because the thought of you not being here hurts me more than I want to admit! Because the thought of not hearing your fucking voice every day, scares me!” You shouted, feeling the tears come to the surface of your eyes, but you refused to cry in front of him. 
The shock of your words had Ghost releasing his grip on you, if only slightly. You shook your head. “Forget it.” you sniffled and opened the door walking further down the hallway. Ghost snapped to his senses, and called you, but you were out of his sight. 
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You had asked Price for some extra time. “A few more weeks, I want to make sure that I’m ready to be on the field again.” Was what you had told him, when in reality, you wanted to prolong your solitude. You hadn’t spoken to Ghost since your outburst, but he seemed content in letting it happen. Leaving you alone. 
Sure, you had run into each other a few times, damn near impossible not to, but never spoken to each other. In the time that you hadn’t been on missions, you spent it in your room reading, or in the gym trying to strengthen yourself. 
The boys had come back from another successful mission, elated but bruised. You smiled and hugged each of them with the exception of Ghost. You merely nodded at him, he stood stoic as ever. 
Soap threw his arm around you before leading you inside, with everyone following, “You’ll have to come with us on the next one. It’ll be just like old times!” He sang. 
You giggled, “yeah, maybe. We’ll see how I’m feeling.” 
“Well, at least come out to drink with us tonight! We’re heading to Bar Code.” Soap shook your shoulders lightly. He was always in a good mood after a successful mission. 
You nodded, “Sure.” 
That was how you found yourself in civilian clothing, sitting across from Price. Just shooting the shit with the boys reminded you of old times, better times. Price called your name, “you’ve been training. A lot harder than we’ve seen you before.” 
You smiled, knowing it was a compliment of the highest form, “Thank you, sir. I just want to make sure that I’m ready to be back in the field.” 
“So, I can count on you for the next one then?” 
Your smile widened, as you nodded, and Soap and Gaz whooped and cheered. “Well!” Gaz was the one to throw his arm around you this time, “I say that’s cause for celebrations! I’ll go get more drinks.” 
He moved to stand, but you put your hand on top of his on your shoulder, “let me.” You giggled as he withdrew and stood, walking over to the bar. 
Ordering what you knew everyone liked, you leant against the bar as you waited for the drinks. A slimy looking man slid next to you, “what’s a pretty little thing like you doing here all by yourself?” He clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. 
“Oh,” you said quietly, moving away slightly, “I’m not alone. Here with some friends.” Of course Ghost had caught sight of him before he got close to you. 
The man followed you, before a hand reached out to grip your waist, pulling you closer. You leaned away. “C’mon. Don’t be like that. I bet they won’t even notice if you’re gone.” You could smell the alcohol on him before he even opened his mouth. 
You kept pushing at his chest, getting more alarmed by the moment, “I-I’m flattered, but not interested,” you looked around for someone, anyone to help you, but found no one. “I really should get back to my friends.” 
In an instant, Ghost was by your side. Unwrapping the stranger's hand from you before pulling you behind him. “You okay?” He looked over his shoulder at you. 
You nodded, and walked to the table silently. From what you saw the unknown man backed down pretty quickly, given Ghost was still in his tac gear, minus the vest. 
Ghost had come back with the drinks and set them down. Not another word was said between you and him for the rest of the night. 
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Getting back to the base, everyone went their separate ways. Everyone except Ghost who pulled you with him into an empty barracks room. It was a standard room, with a bed in the back corner, small desk and lamp on the right side, and an armoire on the left.   “Ghost.. What do–” 
“Simon.” He cut you off. 
You tilted your head, confused. “Call me Simon. Please.” 
“Okay… Simon. Is there something you need?” 
His eyes fluttered shut as you said his name. “I think a conversation is needed.” 
“Conversation about what?” You crossed your arms over your chest. 
“What did you mean?” His eyes opened, solely focusing on your face, your reaction to him. “You said you care about me. But there’s so many things that could mean.” 
You took a deep breath in, and dropped your arms. “I’m exhausted. We can talk about this later.” You turned for the door. 
Simon muttered your name, “You and I both know if you walk out of here, this conversation won’t ever happen.” His voice stopped you from moving any further. “Please.” His voice softened to a whisper. 
“You’re a big boy, Simon. I’m sure you can figure it out. Given the context.” 
“I want to hear you say it.” 
“Why? So you can embarrass me some more? To make me relive that specific part of the conversation for days? I already have. I shouldn’t have said anything, it was vastly inappropriate.” 
Simon shook his head, stepping closer to you. “Tell me. Please.” 
A shiver flew down your spine. “You make it sound so easy. It won’t fix anything.” 
Simon stayed quiet behind you. He was close enough at this point to feel the body heat he gave off. You sighed, defeated. “I care about you.” You whisper. 
“And what does that mean?” Simon whispered back. 
You closed your eyes, staying quiet. This time when he said your name, he coated it in adoration, in awe. Pressing his body even closer, you caved. 
“I’m into you.” You felt his forehead come to rest on your shoulder. 
“Again.” He commanded, softly as his arm wrapped around your waist. 
You smiled, biting your lip, “I like you.” 
Simon pulled you back so you were fully flush against him. “Again.” 
“I have feelings for you.” 
His grip tightened, hand moving to your hip as he spun you to face him. “Once more.” He watched you. 
You wrapped your arms around his neck, “I am so in love with you it hurts sometimes.” 
“Yeah?” He breathed, and you nodded as his face drew closer. 
“Yeah” you whispered moments before he pushed his mask up just past his nose, and kissed you. 
Fuck, he was good. He knew how to hook you in, one hand resting on the hinge of your jaw, and the other on your waist. Pulling you in, while simultaneously keeping you where he wanted you.
You couldn’t resist kissing back, placing your hands firmly on his chest. You could feel the low rumble he let out. Pulling away for a second, Simon dragged his thumb down the center of your lips. Your breathing was rapid, your mind felt like it was in the clouds. 
Without thinking, you leaned back in to capture his lips this time. His hands drifted down your body, before tapping the backs of your thighs. You shook your head only slightly to still keep your lips attached to his. 
He grunted into your mouth, before crouching slightly, and lifting you into his arms. You gasped before breaking apart, “Simon, put me down.” 
You saw his lips pull up into a smirk, “gladly” you watched his mouth form the word. He walked over, tightening his grip only moments before dropping you against the mattress. 
You squealed softly, before this mountain of a man was sprawled out on top of you, reattaching his lips to any skin he could find. Kissing down your face, to your neck. Hands pawing at your body, lifting your shirt to caress your skin. You whined, before sitting up only enough to pull your shirt off. 
“Atta girl.” Simon praised before reattaching his mouth to yours. His hands roaming your body, gently groping along his way as he finds the buttons on your jeans and slides them along with your panties off in one motion. 
You truly don’t know what came over you, the need to have Simon under you, succumbing to whatever you wanted, was overwhelming. 
So that was exactly what you decided to do, as you heaved your body so you had him pinned beneath you. The surprise of it alone had him pulling away from you. Hands coming to rest on your thighs. 
You made a show of removing your bra, the accompanying groan from him as you removed the last article of clothing was satisfying. You carefully slid down his body, removing articles of clothing as you went, until he was completely naked, and completely at your mercy. You looked down at him, your lip between your teeth. 
“Not so big and bad now are you?” You spoke softly, lining Simon’s leaking cock with your entrance, not able to stand another moment of the teasing.
“Don’t be a fucking tease, baby.” Simon gritted out. 
“Me? Never” You spoke, sliding him inside until you were flush with his hips. Gasping, as he gently bucked up into you. 
The grunt Simon let out had you clenching around him. His hands clasped around your hips, expletives being whispered into the air around you two. 
You brought yourself up just enough for him to slide out enough, before dropping yourself back down. “Fuck, yes. Just like that.” Simon whined. 
The sound alone had you falling forward, hands coming up to catch yourself on his chest. You let out a moan, as his hands roamed your body. “C’mon. Need me to take the lead?” He teased. 
You bit your lip as you straightened yourself out, and started bouncing on his cock. Simon’s head rolled back further into the pillow. Small chants of yes left his mouth. You glanced down at him, completely at your mercy, and you let out a borderline pornographic moan. 
Simon’s neck had been on full display, the veins distended, almost inviting. He was clenching his teeth, so as to keep all those little sounds in. Eventually, the intrusive thought won and you leant forward. Lips and teeth sucking a bright red hickey into his neck. “Oh, Fuck.” Simon mewled. 
Laving your tongue over the new mark, you felt a swell of pride. “Can’t take it?” You whispered into his ear, gently biting down on his earlobe. Simon let out a high pitched whine. “Who knew Simon Riley liked being bitten huh?” 
His hands settled back on your hips, “please” he grunted. 
You cooed, straightening and planting your hands on his chest once again, as you worked yourself against his cock. “Awwww. D’you wanna cum?” 
Increasing your speed, you could feel the stutter in his breath under your hands. One of his hands running up your back, to cup the back of your neck, pulling you down. 
Capturing your lips, he kissed any and all smart comments, and thoughts out of your head. Simon pulled away from you enough to let out a long, drawn out moan, as your hips stuttered, and you felt the warmth of his cum flooding you. 
You gasped, not expecting it so quickly. The pure, unadulterated power you felt in this moment was enormous. You just made big, bad, cold-hearted Simon Riley cum before you. 
Simon’s hands fell to your thighs, gently running his fingers over where the bullet had entered, “shit.” breathing labored, unable to think. 
You looked down at him, breathing picking up, eyes wide. “One more.” You surprised even yourself. “Give me one more. Si, just one more.” You spoke, grinding your hips against his. 
He grunted your name, “I can’t.” 
“Yes, yes you can. Gimme one more. You’re such a good boy, Si. You can gimme one more, yeah?” You whined, resuming bouncing on his cock once more. 
Simon whimpered, “Please.” 
“Yeah, there it is. Look at you. Letting me use you like this. Fuck. So good for me, yeah?” 
You watched Simon’s eyes roll back in his head, mouth open just slightly, allowing all the little noises loose. The little moans, hiccups, and half whines. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t getting to you. 
“You’re so hot like this. Can’t shut you up, can I?” You spoke, hips faltering. 
Soft chants of please left Simon’s pretty pink lips, head rolling from side to side. He was a sight. “Gonna cum again for me, Si?” You taunted him. 
Simon hiccuped, and nodded furiously. His entire body tensed, letting out an absolute wrecked moan, you once again felt the warmth of his seed, which only triggered your own orgasm this time. 
Head thrown back, grinding your hips before slowing to a complete stop. Slowly you lifted yourself on your knees and climbed off him. Simon chuckled as you collapsed beside him. 
“That definitely was not expected.” You wheezed out, attempting to catch your breath. 
“What part?” Simon smirked, pulling his mask back down. 
“All of it.” You yawned, and curled into his side. 
“We can dissect it in the morning, get some rest.” Simon ran his hand along your back gently, and you fell asleep in no time.
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critterbitter · 4 months
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HELLO HELLO !!
So like- i hope you don't mind this to go in the form of an ask but i just wanted to say your content has been such a BIG inspiration for me for the past few weeks since i've been following you, i am geniunely in love with how you portray the submas twins' relationships with their 'mons and even more the little ideas and headcanons (im not sure how to call these ?) you put into everything i'm just-AGHH I REALLY REALLY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR ART AND CONTENT 💟💟💟
So i've been meaning to ask if i were to make any form of content of The submas and their starters (if thats alright) should i tag you in it so you can see it or would you prefer if i just mentioned you ? Really sorry for making such a long ask but it's been running through my head a little bit and i was hoping this was okay ^^ HAVE A GOOD REST OF YOUR DAY FOR NOW AND TYSM IF YOU HAPPEN TO READ / ANSWER THIS !!
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first of all! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Second of all! For fics and art based off this iteration of the muppet train men and their crew, feel free to @ me! (Please @ me actually. Please.)
I LOVE seeing these guys and it’s super motivating when I know I’ve dragged other people into the hyperfixation tunnels.
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pastel-medic · 24 days
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So I finally made a thing! :3c gonna make this my main blog intro!
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My name is Xed/Pastel ^v^ (He/Xe/They)! I am 24 years old and any other art accts will likely have the username pastelxapple if you want to find me on other platforms!
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Please be aware I likely will not draw nsfw! There may be suggestive art tho from time to time :3c
I've technically been in the TF2 community for more than 6 years but I just recently got back into it as of 2024!
Pr0shipper/“problematic” accounts DNI!!! I will block you >:(((
@/hoshi-tsubasa is my twin! Her art is just as incredible so go check her out too if you'd like! She also draws TF2 stuff here and there, plus she has some TF2 merch you can check out on her redbubble!
I have other favorite TF2 ships that I don't have listed above in the "Meet The Artist" template that I may draw from time to time! However, you will not see me draw HeavyMedic or SniperScout ships, as those are not ships I'm particularly fond of compared to others ;3; very sorry! (ALSO ABSOLUTELY NO SPYSCOUT GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT DISGUSTING STUFF) I do like most TF2 ships tho! 💖
Please be respectful! I have major anxiety and communication/socializing is difficult for me, so I may not engage in conversations much ;0; I will do my best to respond to my inbox so please be patient with me!
In addition, please be aware I have ADHD and an alter system, so please note that I may go silent with posts every once in a while. My mental health is not a subject I care to make front and center here, so I prefer any questions or topics of such be kept private! Thank you! 💖
My hyperfixations do shift so I may hop from one media to another! I will usually post my other non-TF2 art on my instagram, but all TF2 content will be here!
This isn't really an art request blog but depending on the question in the ask box I might doodle something if I'm interested enough! 🍰✨ I don't really draw ship requests tho! ;3; Might do some that I like but depends!
If you want to use my art as a profile pic please ask me first!!! DO NOT REPOST OR EDIT MY ARTWORK!!!!
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lowkeyrobin · 2 months
Note
Hellooo, I was wondering if you could do MCYT with an S/O who has ADHD? (Mostly hyperfixates on horror games, etc.) I personally have a bad habit of walking around till my legs are sore (my leg has been sore for the past three days please help I can't get rid of this energy ahh-) and how MCYT would react to that/stop Y/N from. Doing that lol
HELP THIS IS SO REAL BAHAHHAHABA ; thank you for the request 🫶🫶 ; sorry if anything seems a little wrong, I'm kinda looking into if I have adhd but obv idk and I'm not diagnosing myself, but I obviously am not diagnosed so I don't know the full ins and outs and I know it's a spectrum, so uh yeah 👍 hopefully I did good lol
MCYT ; ADHD shenanigans
includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu & quackity
warnings ; language
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
he'll walk into your stream, sit down, look at your screen, then blankly stare at you when he realizes what you're playing
"Dude. are you streaming FNAF again?"
you nod with a smile "yupppp"
he spends the rest of your stream talking to chat and trying to scare you more
you're just talking about the lore and shit and he's loosely hanging onto it LMAO
if you're just like pacing around the house he'll look up at you like "bro you okay?"
will genuinely join in as well, he's always got the energy
he doesn't mean to enable like hurting yourself to a point, but once he realizes he is kind of enabling it he'll immediately stop
"sit down, here, skip leg day for once, focus on those noodle arms of yours"
"says you! the fuck?"
TUBBO
he'll walk into your bedroom for the first time in like a month and just see posters and little trinkets and merch of your new fixation and be like "christ, man"
"I'm a little hyperfixated"
"I see that. also considering the 150 hours worth of streams you've put into FNAF, yeah..."
he gets you a vr headset and buys you the fnaf vr games.
he doesn't understand how you have so much energy but it's whatever
"dude, sit down, your legs are gonna fall off, you've been pacing for like three hours! drink some water at least"
"tubbo, I can't! I have too much energy and I can't get rid of it"
that commences three hours of wrestling in the living room 💀🙏
RANBOO
let's you rant about your fixations and the lore and whatnot
I mean they won't deny that the Blair Witch Project video game is really good
they even buy you posters of the Blair Witch Project movie and video game (we don't talk about the movies after the first...)
even gets you merch off the official game site too (if that exists? I'm not sure istg there was merch tho)
they start to get a little fixated on it too considering they love hearing about the lore and theories from you and stuff
they even play it on stream and dedicate it to you
"thanks for the content y/n"
when you're running through the house, he'll race with you for a while before finding some other ways for you to release energy without making yourself sore
at one point he just gives you coffee that way you'll crash and burn after a few hours
I mean at least you don't feel like your legs are about to pop off your body
FREDDIE BADLINU
invested in the resident evil lore because of you
"I saw this and thought of you" AND ITS A LEON KENNEDY EDIT LMFAOOO
I mean yeah
loves hearing you rant about the games and everything, he could listen to you talk for hours
when you're all strung up on energy he also enables it without realizing at first
when he can tell it's more than just being energetic he'll help you find ways to calm down
if need be, he'll read to you, instant sleep I swear
or when he starts talking you'll be fully invested in his words
"yknow, Google listed among us as a horror game and I really cannot-"
NIKI NIHACHU
the amount of dead by daylight merch and the amount of money that you've spent on it is kinda concerning
but she loves listening to you rant about how the kill animations are so awesome and about new maps and characters and dlcs
I mean it's your current fixation, of course she'd listen to every single word you'd have to say
she even plays with you on stream a lot as well
when you're strung up on energy, she'll take you out for a run, you're like a dog on a leash though because she's not trying to lose you
"niki, come on! I wanna see the water snakes!"
"I'm coming, I can't sprint like you do, darling!"
QUACKITY
"of all the games, why is five nights at freddy's the one you're fixated on?"
he loves hearing you rant and explain lore and theories to him tho
genuine love language
he'll even play it on stream with you
"and the purple guy basically killed all the kids, and the kids basically scared him into the springlock suit and it literally killed him so he possesses that suit now-"
he'll just joke about the amount of energy you have
like Ranboo, will serve you coffee so you can crash and burn considering you end up begging him to help you
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glitch-karma · 2 months
Note
Hello there ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ
I saw your requests were open and I hopped at the chance! 😩🙏
I saw your iura shuu x reader valentines post and I was wondering maybe if you could do an iura x reader with the cliche academic enemies to lovers trope.
So reader and shuu are rivals because readers very headstrong academically and part of the student council and shuus kinda very laid back and bubbly and he has his head in the clouds usually. So reader gets fed up one day and just rants about him (but really it's to hide she has a fat crush on him) but he over hhear, so then their pared up for a project and they decide that they'll do it at his place where he then confronts her with his personality he has around his family and readers just like😃 where reader then confesses.
I KNOW IT'S A LOT I'M SO SORRY PLZ DON'T FEEL PRESSURE BIT JUST THE THOUGHT OF SHUU AND CLICHE TROPES MAKES ME BRAIN GO FUZZY 😩😩😩😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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✧Tldr: You've had a crush on the annoying slacker Shuu Iura since first year, although no one would be able to guess by the way you rant on and on about him. One day after he overheard you going on about him he decides to confront you.
✧One Shot
✧Cw/Content: Academic rivals, Student council reader, f! Reader, Fluffish, confession
✧I. LOVE. ACADEMIC RIVALS TO LOVERS. ITS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE TROPE.
Also I'm hopefully gonna be making a comeback to Tumblr and get through requests, plus my Horimiya/Shuu hyperfixation is also back full swing so this is a formal request for any and all Shuu requests (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)
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"Ugh, I hate getting here so early but I'd rather die then replace my study time for club number reports." You sigh, using your student ID to slide through the door with Sengoku by your side. "I feel ya. The suns barely even out." He sighed out as you both made your way to the council room.
You stood patiently as Sengoku unlocked the door, swinging it open. You both let out a sigh-mixed with a groan as the two of you plopped down in opposite chairs. After a bit of discussion about how to separate everything, you both got to work.
After an hour you set your pile of paperwork between you two, standing up and slipping your blazer back on. "Everyone should be arriving for their first classes soon, I'm gonna go make sure they're all in uniform. Even if it's freezing outside." You said, walking to the door. "You sure are extra strict, L/n." Sengoku chuckled as you walked out.
As you stood at the door watching everyone come in. You corrected a few people as they tried to walk in with their coats still on. "Other than a few straggler coats and scarfs, everyone's looking good. It's nice to see everyone following the rule—" your thoughts were abruptly stopped as you heard a familiar, ear shattering voice.
"Hey Toru! Did you hear that new album yet?" Your neck immediately snapped over to the bright green haired man. And as expected, instead of the proper uniform he wore a bright orange hoodie underneath his blazer with his nonchalant disregard for the school's dress code. Your teeth grinded against each other, causing a few fellow students around you to anxiously scoot away.
You roughly opened your school bag, stomping over to him. As soon as Ishikawa saw you hurdling over he stepped away with a sigh. "Iura!! How many times do I have to tell you to wear the proper uniform!?" You screamed, shoving the back of his head. Shuu let out a cry as he held the back of his head. You then shoved the button up and a vest into his arms. "The next time I see you in class you better have that on!" You lastly called stomping your way back over to the entrance.
"Jeez man, you should have known that was gonna happen. That girl is all over you about rules." Ishikawa sighed as Shuu whimpered, patting his head, watching you walk away with your hands on your hips angrily. "Yeah, I guess.."
After a while you made your way to your actual class with a sigh. Scanning around until your eyes met Shuu, who was shoving his hoodie into his bag. You huffed out a nod as you took your seat. Taking out your books for the class one by one.
You sighed as you made your way to the council room at the end of the day, opening the door to find not only the rest of the council but also some of the regular group who always loitered there. You plopped down in a chair as the group continued. Sengoku watched the life drain your eyes as you moaned in "pain".
"What's up with you? You look like you died and came back to life— Twice." He questioned. "It's just that Iura managed to ruin my morning again. With a freaking hoodie. Unbelievable." Your face contoured into one of rage as you stared at the wall. "Where are you looking even..?" Hori piped up quietly.
"you could give the guy a break y'know? It's not like he's gunning to annoy solely you." Sengoku sweat dropped. You growled quietly in the back of your throat as you looked away from him. "Come on L/n, he's not that bad.." Miyamura nervously chuckled. "Shut it Miyamura, you're on my list after you wore a hoodie too along with him." Miyamura anxiously chuckled as he backed away from you.
You sighed as you rested your head in your arms. "It's not like his grades are terrible. In fact he's not even a bad guy or anything. I just wish he'd take everything a bit more seriously." You groaned out with a sigh.
Yoshikawa's eyes narrowed with a smile as she chuckled at you quietly. "What's with the face?" Hori questioned. "I just have a funny feeling." Yoshikawa looked away smugly.
"Whatever, I'm gonna go to the school store to hang out if you all are just gonna bother me about this." You sighed with a groan as you stood up.
You reach down at your choice of vending machine, pulling out the drink you'd bought. You snapped open the top, taking a big gulp followed by a sigh. "Uhm, L/n?" You turned around to see a small group of girls. You recognized the main one as the leader of the calligraphy club. "Oh, hey Arakawa. What's up?"
"I was just making sure you got the club's reports for this week since you were here." She smiled. "Yeah, I just filed it this morning actually. You should probably get the funding you requested by this week." You nodded at her as she thanked you. "Hey and Uhm," one of the other girls spoke up. "Was that you this morning, yelling at Iura?"
Your face became cold again as you looked away from the group. "Can't seem to recall.." "it was definitely her." Another spoke up. You sigh as you looked back at the group. "He was wearing a hoodie under his blazer like a damn punk. Again." You glared at the wall. "Sengoku might have given up trying but I refuse to let the dress code be ignored like that."
One of them chuckled as the others smiled lightly at you. "You really don't like Iura-kun, huh?" You looked away, your cheeks slowly turning red. You could correct them.. but that would be way too embarrassing. "I-I mean he's just loud. Annoying.. doesn't take anything serious even if it's important."
"I mean, he's always so carefree, like nothing in the world fazes him. Always drifting off into la-la land with that dopey smile on his face, It's like he's in his own little bubble, completely oblivious to everything around him." you continued, gripping your drink harshly trying to bury the blush that threatened to creep into your face as you continue. "And don't even get me started on his grades! It's like he doesn't even try, yet he manages to scrape by effortlessly. It's infuriating to those of us who do study!" you exclaimed. You paused, realizing You spewed into a rant without even thinking about it. And it had dragged on for far too long. The three in front of you stared at you nervously.
With a sheepish smile, you tried to regain your composure. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that.." you mumbled as you raised your hand as an apology. The group chuckled lightly as you stood there embarrassed. "I feel for you a bit there L/n." Arakawa said, lightly patting your back.
Unbeknownst to you, Shuu had been lingering nearby, sent to get everyone in the council room drinks. He stood, listening to every word of your passionate rant. His usually carefree expression had morphed into one of contemplation, his thoughts consumed by the conversation he'd unexpectedly walked into.
As you awkwardly shifted under the girls' gaze, Shuu remained hidden from view. His mind racing. After a while you exited the store, luckily from the opposite door he was hidden behind. Iura stubbled into the store, getting the drinks quietly for once.
"I guess.. I'll just pretend I didn't hear."
You slid open the council door, everyone looking up at you before looking away in disappointment. Your face contoured into anger at them all. "Thanks a lot for making me feel welcome guys. Not like this is the council room or anything.!." You said through grated teeth. "Shuu lost rock paper scissors and went to get us all drinks. We all thought you were him finally coming back." Ishikawa explained. You grunted quietly with a light blush, falling back into your chair from before. "Whatever then."
Suddenly Shuu bursted into the room with a big smile. "Heyoo~! I got the drinks!" He yelled. You groaned, looking away as he looked over at you. "Oh hey what's up Y/n." He smiled, pretending to not have seen you earlier. "Hello Iura." You slightly groaned.
"Awe man I didn't know you were gonna be in here today! I would have gotten you a drink you like!" He said putting a hand behind his head. "No need, I actually just got one. Also I again mention that this is my club room." You groan lightly.
Shuu chuckled, seemingly unaffected by your response. "Ah, right, right. My bad. Guess I'll just have to make it up to you some other time, huh?" He flashed you a smile before distributing the drinks to the rest of the group. "I guess I can hold you to that. As long as you pay for it." You looked away with a light blush.
"Alright, pairs are already pre decided and posted on the bulletin board. Make sure the assignment is done by the end of the week. You're dismissed for the rest of class to do whatever."
After the teacher had finished talking you stood up, tidying your desk before making your way to the front. You glanced around before you finally found your name, looking beside it only to see- "Seriously.!?" You quietly whispered.
Y/n L/n — Shuu Iura
"Look at that! We're paired up!" Shuu magically appeared beside you, startling you a tad. As you regained your composer you nodded. "Seems so. When do you have time to work on it? As long as it's not in council hours I can probably make it work. Sooner than later please." You said, making your way back over to your desk with him following.
"if you want, after school tomorrow I could come over!" He says pointing to himself. You grimaced a bit. "Uhm.. I'd rather not have a guy over at my house. Nothing against you, I'm just not sure my Mom would approve." You waved your hands in front of you.
"Oh I see, I guess you could come over to mine. My little sister will be there though." Shuu suggested. "That's fine, I don't mind as long as we actually stay on task." You nod. "Alright then! We got it all set up now." Shuu nodded. You lightly blushed with embarrassment as you nodded back. You couldn't help but wonder if this was actually going to work out..
You sighed as you finished your club work the next day, standing up and sliding your bag over your shoulder. "Sengoku, Kouno, are you two good to lock up later? I have to go to Iura's for a project." "Huh?" The two looked at you confused.
"You paired up with Iura? On purpose?" Sengoku questioned. "No, they were preassigned for some reason." You breathed out annoyed. "Don't worry about it then, we've got it." Kouno smiled with a nod. "Thanks Kouno. I'll see you guys tomorrow." You waved as you shut the door.
As you walked over to Shuu's house, you couldn't help but let your mind wander. "Being at Iura's house.. I'm sure it'll be alright. But I'm still worried. Maybe he'll be chill, focused, level headed? No. Those things don't describe him at all." You thought.
Arriving at the door, you took a breath before ringing the bell. After a couple seconds the door opened, revealing a small girl who looked eerily similar to Shuu. "O-Oh. Hi." You waved lightly. The girl stared at you in shock before retreating back into the house, leaving you confused. After a second you opened the door yourself.
"You didn't tell me this person was a girl! So you actually have female classmates that don't hate you!?" The girl yelled. You stood there awkwardly. "What?! Why is that so surprising huh?" Shuu yelled back lightly, you noticed that his tone wasn't as hype as it was in school.
"Uhm, Iur- or.. Shuu?" You spoke, saying his first name felt so weird. Shuu looked over at you, pushing away his sister. "Ah L/n, you can come on in." He waved you in casually, confusing you slightly, a red tint slightly adorning your face. Him saying your last name was also weird. "T-Thanks." You nodded.
You looked over at his sister again who was staring at you like a mystical creature. You were sweating as you started down at her. "Ignore her, she's the sister I mentioned. Motoko." Shuu pointed to her. Motoko glared lightly at him. "You could introduce her too y'know."
"Right, she's Y/n L/n, part of the student council and my classmate." Shuu groaned at her. You stared confused at him. Was this.. actually Shuu? "A student council member? And she deals with you.?"
"Yes. And now if you'll excuse us, we have a project to actually work on Moto." Shuu walked away from her opening presumably the door to his room. You finally snapped out of it, removing your shoes quickly. "It was nice meeting you." You lightly bowed at Motoko before following Shuu into his room.
"Ugh sorry about her." Shuu groaned as he shut his door, sitting down after. You sat down across from him as you set your school bag down. "No it's alright. She seems nice."
"Nice is sure a word." He sighed as he took out the assignment. As you both got comfortable, you began working. Oddly, you worked mostly in silence. The atmosphere felt different from what you were used to. Shuu seemed more composed, his usual hyper demeanor replaced by a calm and focused one. It was as if he had left behind the carefree facade he wore at school and stepped into a more serious role. And it was.. scary.
You couldn't help but steal glances at him. It was weird but.. you kind of missed his smile. Your face heated up at the thought before you shook it off lightly.
After awhile, Shuu stretched up with a light sigh. You continued to work, until you felt his gaze stuck on you. You glanced up to find him staring right at you with a neutral expression. It was startling.. "Uhm.. What's up Iura?" You questioned quietly. Shuu looked away and was silent for awhile.
"I heard what you said to the calligraphy club leader. In the school store." Shuu bluntly said. Your heart skipped a beat for a second as your eyes widened. Panic set in as you stared at him shocked. He had heard everything – your rant about him and everything you "despised" about him that dragged on for way too long.
"I-I didn't..." you started, but Shuu held up a hand, cutting you off. "No, it's cool. I get it," he said softly, his tone surprisingly gentle. "I know I can be a bit much sometimes. Especially at school."
Who was this person in front of you. What was he saying even. it was so.. confusing.
"I guess I just didn't realize how strongly you felt about me. Especially enough to talk to basically strangers. It just surprised me is all, I mean if you really hate me-"
"You're wrong!" You yelled as you sat up quickly. You stopped, blushing as Shuu looked at you in shock. "Wrong?" he repeated, his voice soft.
"I wasn't... I mean, it's not.. Look, I was just frustrated!" you blurted out, feeling exposed under Shuu's unwavering gaze. "I-I didn't mean all those things I said. They all were asking about you and I was just trying to cover up, uh..." Your voice trailed off as you struggled to actually say what you were thinking. Shuu leaned in slightly, "Cover up?" he prompted.
"Cover up the fact that I admire almost everything about you, okay!?" You yelled lightly. Shuu stared at you in shock while his cheeks heated up.
"You're everything I wish I could be. You're always just having fun. You don't really care what others say about you, or about studying or anything like that. You always manage to make everyone around you laugh, and you don't care if it's at you either. And no matter what you still just smile all wide at everything. You're freely yourself. And you say whatever's on your mind." You poor your heart out. Shuu stared in shock, blushing at your foolish rant.
"So, yeah! I was trying to cover up! Trying to cover up how much I like—" suddenly you found your logic, shutting up before you could finish. You stared at the table for a bit before slowly looking up at Shuu. He stared in shock, his cheeks basically on fire. it was a rare sight.
You both stared at one another for a few seconds before you sat up quickly. "U-Uhm, I'm sorry. I should leave now." You stuttered out, grabbing your text books. Shuu blinked a few times as he watched you pack up before coming back to earth. "Y/n-" "I can finish the rest of this up, I'll turn it in after its done as well," "Wait, please just—"
You stood up quickly, pulling your bag roughly over your shoulder and turning towards the door. "Good bye, thanks for having me. S-See you at—"
Shuu quickly grabbed your wrist as you tried to pull open his bedroom door. You stood in shock before turning around to face him. "Will you stay long enough for me to actually tell you how I feel!?" Shuu whisper yelled. Your face was red, everything in the room seemed to stop. You both stood there silently for a bit before you finally let go of the door.
Shuu sighed as he let go of your wrist, sitting back down with a hard plop. You continued to stare at the ground. Your chest felt tight, the grip on the strap of your school bag was so strong you swore your fingernails were digging into your palm. Your heart raced so hard you were worried he could hear it. The air thick with tension as you stood frozen in place. Slowly, you made your way back to your seat opposite of Shuu.
As you finally raised your head to look at him, you noticed that Shuu looked almost exactly the same as you had just had a few seconds ago. He stared intensely at the ground, his cheeks a deep crimson as he tried to find his breath.
Taking a deep breath, Shuu began to speak, his words stumbling out in a rush of emotion. "Y/n, I... I've admired you for a long time. Your dedication to being apart of the student council, your intelligence, your passion.. it's all so inspiring. You're always so focused and driven. You're amazing, even without those gorgeous eyes that I could get lost in.." he looked up at you slowly as he spoke.
You listened intently, your heart swelling with disbelief and... Happiness. Shuu's words echoed in your mind, each one sinking deeper as he poured out his feelings.
"I know my personality can be frustrating at times but.." He looked away for a second before beginning again. "But I love you. I have for a while. And if there's even a chance that you feel the same way about me... well, I can't let it go without telling you how I feel."
You stared in shock, your mouth slightly agape as you couldn't find the words in your head. Shuu looked back up at you, chuckling slightly at your expression. His laugh brought you back to earth as you grabbed his hand that had been resting on the table between you two. He gasped a bit as he looked down, then back up at you.
"I- I Uhm.." you stuttered before finally speaking properly. "I love you, Shuu. Or- I love you too." Your face was embarrassed, your hands trembling on top of his.
After a few seconds Shuu smiled. It wasn't a smile you were used to seeing— it was smaller than usual. It was like he was looking at something irreplaceable. It made your heart flutter. Shuu's hand pulled away from yours, you panicked lightly until you felt his fingers intertwine with yours.
"Alright then." He spoke softly. Your face turned bashfully as you smiled lightly at him. "A-Alright." You nodded at him. You two stayed like that for a few seconds before you pulled away with a cough.
"W-We should finish up that project now." You bashfully looked away from him as you pulled everything back out. He let out a laugh, one that you were actually used to hearing, which relaxed you.
"Thank you for having me," you lightly bowed at both Shuu and his sister as you put your bag back around your shoulder. "Thank you for not hating my brother, I know it must be hard." Motoko waved at you lightly as Shuu pushed her away. "Are you sure you can get home alone?" Shuu questioned in a neutral tone that you were still getting used to hearing.
You nodded at him with a bashful smile. "I'll be alright, but thank you." You chuckled slightly. "Alright then." Shuu nodded back. "See you at school tomorrow, please wear the proper uniform." You teased as you opened the door. The two waved you off as you exited.
You couldn't help the big smile you wore as you slowly made your way down Shuu's street. Your cheeks burning so much you couldn't even notice the cool breeze. He actually felt the same way.. so, were you two dating now? I guess you hadn't really officially asked. But just knowing was enough for now..
"Y/n!!" Your thoughts were interrupted as you looked behind you to see Shuu running up to you. He panted lightly in front of you as you chuckled lightly. He finally stood up straight.
"I didn't get to officially ask.." he mumbled before looking into your eyes, "Will you actually go out with me?" He smiled brightly at you. You stifled a laugh as you looked away from him for a second. when you looked back he was pouting lightly, but the blush on his cheeks was evident.
He tensed lightly as he felt your cold hands meet his face. He stared back up into your eyes as you smiled at him. "Of course." You nodded at him.
He smiled softly as he grabbed your hands in his. "Even if I wear the wrong uniform for the rest of my school days?" You chuckled lightly. "There's a reason I keep so many spare ones Y'know."
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"Wait.. WHAT?!?" Toru screamed as he read the text from Shuu. The text in question read:
"Guess who's finally not single anymore!! This guy right here!! (⁠。⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧"
"Shuu's actually dating someone?! Who would be crazy enough to actually go for him.. I didn't even know he was talking to anyone." Yoshikawa questioned. The group was sitting in the student council room during some free time, and everyone was staring at Toru as he explained the text.
"I didn't either. I'm honestly just confused. Like what the heck?" Toru said as he stared down at the text. "Maybe it's someone from a different school?" Miyamura questioned. "Mhm, I don't really see Shuu ever talking to people from other schools. It's a theory though." Sengoku thought out loud.
"is it really a big deal though.?" Yanagi questioned the group. "Yes!!" Toru, Hori and Yoshikawa all yelled, startling the boy.
You opened the door as they continued talking, a grin adorning your face as you sat down. "What's got you so giddy today L/n?" Sengoku questioned as everyone briefly looked at you. "Oh nothing~!" You spoke with a happy tone that slightly confused everyone around you. Toru sighed as he looked at you. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about who Shuu's dating, would you Y/n?" He questioned as he showed you the text. You smiled at it as you leaned back in your chair. "I actually do know something."
Everyone immediately looked to you in anticipation. "So you do know! Did you two talk about it during the project?" Sengoku questioned. "Yeah, actually." You nodded with a smile. "So spill! Does she go to our school?" Hori questioned.
"Yeah, the girl Shuu is dating does go here." You nodded at her. "That's weird that none of us have heard of her then." Miyamura thought. "Especially from Iura.." Hori thought.
You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the group. Suddenly Hori looked straight at you, pointing accusatory. "Come on! You obviously know who it is Y/n!!" You looked away with a smirk. "Hm? Me? Not a clue."
"Come on woman you have to spill!!" Sengoku yelled as the door opened up. "Heyo!!" Everyone's heads turned at the hyper voice of the very man they were talking about. Shuu stood there confused as everyone was surrounding you.
"Uhm— why are we interrogating Y/n?" He questioned with a tilt of his head. "Shuu!! Come on man you have got to tell us who you're dating!" Toru yelled as he shook his shoulders quickly. "Wh-What that's what you're all after?!" Shuu said as he continued to be shook by Toru.
You chuckled lightly, until you finally noticed the yellow hoodie underneath Shuu's blazer. You stood up quickly startling Sengoku who was right beside you. "Shuu!" You ran up to him after Toru had released him, grabbing onto the collar of his Hood. "What did I just say yesterday after I left!?" You groaned, moving your hands to pinch his cheeks.
"owch- you awlso swaid you had spawes!!" He tried to say as you continued to pull at his cheeks. "That doesn't mean you can just go through all of them!" You yelled. Shuu laughed as he pulled your hands away from his face. "N/n, you're gonna make my cheeks all sore.." he smiled down at you.
You smiled up at him lightly with a sigh. "I guess it's not that big of a deal for today." You gave in. "Yayyyy," he expressed as he pulled you in his chest for a hug. You "begrudgingly" hugged him back with a huff.
As you two released each other you looked back to your friends, who were all staring at you with shocked expressions. "Wait.. whaaaat ?!" Hori yelled, Yoshikawa was jumping with excitement and the rest of them all stared in shell shock. You grinned mischievously at their reactions, tricking them even if it was just for a moment was entertaining to say the least. "Since when!?" Hori yelled, her eyes wide with disbelief.
"Since yesterday, technically," Shuu chimed in, his arm casually draped around your shoulders. "But we've been dancing around it for a while now." You chuckled a bit.
"Seriously!? Shuu, how did you manage to land someone like Y/n!?" Toru exclaimed, still in disbelief. You chuckled with a nod at him. Shuu shrugged with a grin. "Guess I just got lucky," he replied, his gaze fondly drifting to you.
Yoshikawa squealed with delight, unable to contain her excitement. "I knew it! You two always seemed to have some kind of chemistry," she exclaimed, earning nods of agreement from a few others.
Sengoku spoke up with a light smirk. "Well, well, looks like all the complaining about him I had to endure was just some weird cover up, talk about lame." he jokingly sighed. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," you retorted, but the smile on your face betraying the annoyance in your voice.
As the school day finished and all your usual student council duties were through, you said your goodbyes to Sengoku Kouno and Remi. Shuu who had actually stayed behind with you for your usual club activities walked you home, his hand intertwined with yours. The wind blew lightly with the cold weather, but you surprisingly felt warm for once.
As you reached your doorstep, you turned to Shuu with a smile. "Thanks Shuu. For walking me home." You nodded at him.
Shuu's eyes sparkled with happiness as he smiled brightly back at you. He squeezed your hand a bit. "Not a problem." He leaned down, planting a small kiss to your forehead before turning away with a wave. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, wearing the correct uniform!"
You chuckled as your cheeks heated up. "You better!" You yelled after him as he ran off.
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olderthannetfic · 8 months
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I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.
Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"
Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:
"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"
I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.
The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.
This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.
Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"
I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.
--
The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.
The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.
It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.
If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.
I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.
Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.
They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.
When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.
The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.
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