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wintaerbaer · 5 months

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things we don’t say: part 5 (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, eventual smut

word count: 12.1k

chapter warnings: jeon jungkook, seventeen is here because i needed fill-ins (also they’re not singers but their music still canonically exists in-universe so good luck figuring that one out), a wedding!, tae is WHIPPED, the infamous butt debate, jealousy (plural), jimin has terrible timing, alcohol consumption ft. a drinking game, a mega cliffhanger i’m so sorry

a/n: while not required, i highly recommend reading the prequel drabble if you haven’t yet as it has some heavy relevance to this part and the next! special thanks to @btsborahaee and @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this chapter and letting me gush and brainstorm in their inboxes on the regular <3 also, shout outs to @animeniacss and @taegularities for sprinting with me all the time (and a forehead kiss to rid for coming up with the idea for the bathroom scene, mwah)!

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Read on ao3

"After today, I never want to see a ribbon ever again."

Jimin fumbles his fingers over the thin string, throwing his hands up in a huff when the slippery material resists his efforts to tie it. With Hoseok and Sunny's wedding only two weeks away, you'd offered to help out with some of the prep work, and Taehyung suggested hosting a mini prep party at your apartment as part of his efforts to make new memories since you'd moved back. True to his word, he’s been at your place nearly every day the past few weeks, cooking dinner with you and rewatching your favorite shows from high school.

You have to admit it’s been pleasantly domestic.

"It's not that bad," you say, finishing off your own ribbon around one of the tiny boxes of chocolate which will be distributed to each of the two-hundred-plus guests as a wedding favor.

"No, I'm serious. I don't even want to tie my shoes anymore. I'm a Crocs guy now."

"I've heard girls love sport mode," Taehyung quietly teases. "Is that right, Y/N?"

The flirtatiousness of his tone startles you, and your eyes snap up to meet his where he sits across from you at the dining room table. He's smiling one of those mischievous grins that makes your stomach churn, belly lurching when he stuns you with a wink before turning back to his own tiny box.

What the fu—

"If any of you show up to my wedding in Crocs, I'm kicking you out," Sunny grumbles.

Hoseok smacks his lips as he ties off a ribbon. "Does that also go for—"

"You as well, yes."

Your group settles into a momentary silence at her declaration—not a sound besides the ripple of ribbon and paper. At least until—

“I got laid wearing Crocs once.”

The entire table groans in unison, and you toss a bit of balled up wrapping paper at Jungkook's chest that bounces pathetically to the floor as Jimin boos. “No one cares about your sexcapades, Kook.”

“What, it was impressive!” he argues. “Just be thankful I'm not bringing any of them to the wedding.”

“I almost wish you were,” Hoseok grumbles. “You'd better not be picking up anyone inappropriate that night. Sisters, cousins, aunts—”

“That was one time!”

“—and anyone else even remotely close to family are off limits.”

Jungkook is quiet for a long moment, pouting to himself, before he says, “Moms?”

The table boos again, more bits of wrapping paper flying his way.

“I'm kidding! Kidding!”

“Actually, Y/N,” Sunny murmurs, leaning towards you. “I hate to bring it up, but are you planning on bringing anyone else in Jace’s place?” Her expression is one of compassionate regret, with pursed lips and a furrowed brow, but the question still hits you low in your chest, knocking the wind out of you.

“I feel terrible asking,” she continues, “but one of my friends from high school originally declined a plus-one, and now she’s asking if there’s any way we can squeeze in this guy she met two weeks ago, and normally I’d tell her no, there’s no way I can change the head count two weeks out and who is this guy anyway, but then I figured that we do technically have an extra spot so we could fit him in, but I’d definitely give you the option to bring someone else first if you wa—“

“It’s fine,” you say, trying to ignore the way everyone else around the table is now looking on in sympathy. “I have no one else to bring. Let her guy come.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” It feels like you’re dying inside, but you try to look unbothered, especially since you can feel Taehyung’s eyes on you. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” Sunny quietly agrees, just as Hoseok suddenly jumps in at her side.

“You know, Tae isn’t bringing anyone to the wedding either,” he says, looking between the two of you. “Why don’t you just go together?”

“I’m also going alo—“ There’s a thump under the table and Jungkook immediately shuts his mouth.

You glance at Taehyung, who’s looking back at you with a dip in his eyebrows and parted lips. It was probably a given that you would spend time at the wedding hanging out already, but wouldn’t going together mean something else entirely? A promise of dancing and proximity and a label the two of you have never shared?

Perhaps that’s the reason why he’s staring at you with a touch of discomfort. Your own skin prickles at the thought, and so you scratch away the itch at your chin and deflect.

“That’s okay. We don’t have to.” Then you stand from the table sharply, hitting your limits with this conversation. “I’ll be right back.”

You head for the bathroom, not even needing to do anything in there, but sure that you can busy yourself for a few minutes to get your emotions under control away from your friends. But as you’re about to swing the door shut behind you, a large hand reaches out to stop it with a thud, and Taehyung quickly slips in before closing the door himself.

“Tae, what are you—“

“Come with me.”

You’re practically chest-to-chest, and if not for the fact that you’ve stopped breathing with his question, you’d probably be pressed up against him in the tight space.

“What?”

He licks his lips, pulls in air through his nose like he’s bracing himself.

“Come to the wedding with me.”

The room is heavy with silence as his request fully sinks in, the air between you thick and hot as you try to get some of it into your lungs. It’s hard, though, to develop a coherent thought with him standing so close—his scent engulfing you and dark, searching eyes fixated on your expression.

“I don’t kno—“ you begin, but he’s quick to cut you off.

“Why not? Like Hobi said, neither of us is bringing anyone already.” His fingers brush yours—an apology for mentioning it again. “So why not go together and…not be as alone.”

You shift on your feet. “But you do know that you don’t have to do this. I’m fine without a plus one. There’s no shame in it for me.”

“Y/N,” he huffs. “You know that I like being around you, right?” He nudges gently against the underside of your chin, making you look at him directly. “I wouldn’t have stuck around this long if I didn’t.”

You’re still skeptical—nervous about the implications of what this would look like, especially when you just got out of a relationship. To you, it feels very much like teasing a boundary. But Taehyung is all nerves in front of you, gaze darting up-and-down your face and a tiny pull at the corner of his mouth telling you that he’s chewing on his lip.

And of course, because it’s him, you cave.

“Okay.”

He beams and, not for the first time, you feel your chest lighten at the sight of his boxy smile. “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” you say, smiling back.

“Okay.” Almost impossibly, his grin gets even wider, and you can see the wheels begin to turn in his head. “Do you have a dress picked out yet? What color is it? I can match you.”

It takes you aback. You wouldn’t have even thought about that. “Emerald green.”

“Emerald green,” he repeats, something registering behind his eyes, and he licks his lips again. “Okay. Great.”

He shifts like he's getting ready to leave, but you catch his fingers to reel him back. And you hate to put it out there, hate to even bring it up, but after everything you’ve been through, you need the clarity.

“And Tae,” you say, “this isn’t a date, right?”

He gives a slow blink, a wave of unknown emotion rippling from forehead to chin before he smiles gently at you, eyes softening at the corners. “Of course not.”

You nod. “Okay.” And a small part of you feels…disappointed?

But there's no time to dwell on it as he exits the bathroom, and you follow him out in spite of doing exactly zero bathroom things. You return to the dining room together, your friends clearly trying to look nonchalant as they diligently work on their party favors but being way too quiet to not have been trying to eavesdrop on your conversation.

“Sunny,” Taehyung says as you take your seats, looking positively brighter. “Just make sure we're sitting next to each other, yeah?”

She snorts. “As if you were anywhere else to begin with.”

Blue skies stretch endlessly in front of you, wind running through your hair and sunlight filtering in through the sunroof as you and Taehyung make the trip to the lakeside resort where Hoseok and Sunny are to be married. He's the absolute picture of relaxation in the driver's seat, wearing sunglasses and a mindless smile with his fingers wrapped delicately around the steering wheel like vines.

He'd opened the door for you when he picked you up, a seemingly spontaneous gesture that had left you both shy and blushing. But if the afternoon started with a touch of unusual awkwardness between you, the prospect of your “not a date” wedding date making itself known, it has since evaporated in the hot summer air. At this point, you’ve spent the past hour chatting, playing road trip games (Taehyung somehow destroying you in the alphabet game in spite of having to focus on driving), and burning through three boxes of Pepero.

“These are an addiction, I swear,” you say, crunching down on a chocolate-filled stick and clapping your hands in delight. Taehyung’s eyes leave the road for a second as he takes you in and grins.

“Was that the last of it?”

“Oh.” You peer into the box. Empty. “Yeah. Sorry. Did you want it?”

“No, it’s fine. You can have it.”

“I sure hope so since I already swallowed it.”

He laughs, whole face lighting up with it, and you feel something turn over behind your ribcage as if someone’s flipped your heart like a pancake. It makes you think that even though you were supposed to be making this trip with a different person, you’re glad it’s him instead.

My love only amounts to this.

The lyrics ring out through the car, and Taehyung leans forward suddenly, turning up the volume on the stereo.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s your favorite song!” he joyfully says. “I know you like to sing along.”

You stare at him blankly, taken aback because you don’t think you’ve ever mentioned this to him. When did he notice…?

“C’mon, sing with me. Play a song I know and one step. Hold my hands and put my feet in, two steps.”

His sweet baritone sounds out beside you, and you feel a grin break out across your face. You always forget what a joy it is to hear Taehyung sing.

“The person to know all my secrets is you,” you sing, joining along. “So I’m even more thankful.”

“Sometimes when you get tired, and I see you crying with your head down, I don't know what to do. What can I do?”

You’re both belting it out at the top of your lungs by the time it gets to the chorus, and you think the sun has somehow moved inside the car with how bright and warm you feel.

My love only amounts to this. But thank you for staying by my side, my baby.

Your car charges down the road, trailing laughter and joy in its wake, and your chest feels light for the first time in weeks.

Even if my love only amounts to this. I'll be your umbrella in the rain. I'll protect you on all your days.

Jimin, Maya, and Jungkook meet you in the hotel lobby—a marble behemoth with wrought iron staircases and sofas that definitely cost more than your rent—and you all line up to check in, gawking at the elaborate chandelier that hangs above your heads.

“How did they even afford this place?” Jimin wonders.

Maya sucks her teeth. “At this rate? I think they might have mob ties.”

“Feet pics,” Jungkook says simply.

Once everyone has obtained their key cards, you set off to find your rooms. You’re all on the same floor since a certain section was booked specifically for the wedding, but with you having a room with only a single queen-sized bed, you’re down the hall and away from the others who booked doubles.

While Jimin, Maya, and Jungkook break off to get acclimated in their own respective rooms, Taehyung follows you into yours with a touch of melancholy, your luggage slung over his shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re fine here alone?” he asks, setting your bag on the ground. “I can room with you if you’d like. I’m sure Kook wouldn’t mind.”

“There’s only one bed,” you point out, blushing.

Taehyung also goes slightly pink. “Well yeah, but the other week we just…or I can take the couch. Or we can ask Kook to swap rooms?”

“It’s okay,” you say. “I’m alone at the apartment all the time anyway.”

He nods, looking oddly shot down. “Alright. But if you change your mind, just ask.”

“Unlikely,” you tease with a wrinkle of your nose. “You snore.”

He gasps, feigning hurt. “I do not.”

He doesn’t. But you still tilt your head solemnly, pressing your lips together as if preparing to deliver bad news. “You do.”

“Shit,” he sighs before the two of you break down in giggles.

A few hours later, the five of you wind up at the resort’s restaurant for dinner, lamenting the exorbitant prices but enjoying an incredible meal. The night dwindles down as you settle in at the bar, figuring you can have a couple drinks before resting up for tomorrow’s big day. With a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, you have a perfect view of the lake outside and the glow of the sunset spreading out above the trees. It tints the room orange, seeping onto every surface, including Taehyung’s forearms resting atop the bar.

You trace his veins with your eyes, study the way they trail to his hands curled lightly around his low ball glass. Your friends are talking about plans for tomorrow, but you’re not paying much attention; you’re far more interested in trying to figure out when your best friend’s arms started looking like that.

“And don’t worry, Chim. If I have the chance to get lucky, I’ll make sure not to use our room,” Maya says, placing a hand over her heart in pledge. “No locking you out because I’m a good friend.”

But Jungkook has tensed up next to you, and in spite of the cute pout of his lips, the creasing of his forehead suggests that he’s genuinely upset. “Hook-up? You’re going to find a hook-up?”

Maya looks at him incredulously, drink paused halfway to her lips. “Possibly. Aren’t you?”

“I…” His teeth bite into his lip. “It’s a wedding.”

She barks out a devilish laugh. “So? When has that ever stopped you?” A spiteful glare is sent his way that even has you shrinking behind him in secondhand shame. “Since when do you have morals?”

Taehyung’s knee squeezes against yours under the bar—a warning, probably, but your brain momentarily becomes fixated on the weight of it, on how nice it feels to have his warmth pressed against you. It’s not until he taps a finger against your thigh, signaling with his eyes at the sullen man behind you, that you pass on the touch, giving Jungkook’s elbow a gentle nudge in support and encouragement. He takes a quick look at you with sad, vulnerable eyes, and you’re reminded of how flustered he’d been during your conversation a few weeks ago.

“I was actually thinking,” he begins, more serious than you’ve ever seen him, “that maybe we could go together since neither of us have dates.”

Maya snorts, setting her drink down firmly on the countertop. “Why, so you can ditch me halfway through for the first woman that flutters her eyelashes at you? No thanks.”

Jungkook physically recoils like he’s been slapped, the force sending him back so far that he practically winds up in your lap. “You really think I would do that?”

His voice is tiny, hurt dripping from every syllable, and it makes Maya finally look up, face dropping as she seems to realize the wounds she’s inflicted upon him.

Her brows draw together, and she opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by the bartender popping up to ask if anyone needs a refill. By the time he leaves, the moment’s passed, and Jungkook briskly stands up, throwing some money down on the bar.

“I’m done. See you guys tomorrow.” And he strides out towards the hotel lobby.

You hop to your feet, shaking your head at Maya. “That was uncalled for.”

She looks guilty but says nothing, rubbing a finger along the rim of her glass, and you follow Jungkook out, calling his name as he approaches the elevators.

“Jungkook!”

He spins to face you with a frown, thumbs hooked in his pants pockets like he’s trying to look casual, but his eyes betray his discomfort. “What?”

“She didn’t mean that,” you say, slightly breathless from your jog across the lobby. “I know she didn’t.”

“Sure she did. That’s who she is. Always speaks her mind.” He shrugs, shirt rippling over his shoulders. “It’s fine. I don’t care.”

“Don’t you though?” you ask. “You’re not a bad guy, Kook. You deserve simple respect at least.”

“Maybe I don’t.” The elevator dings, and he steps inside, turning back to you with a final sad smile. “Night, Y/N.”

A sense of dread taps into the back of your skull, fear that your original inkling on this relationship was perhaps correct. Though you’ve since warmed up to the idea of Maya and Jungkook as a potential couple, it was this exact tension that you were worried about—their fire and gasoline dynamic harboring implications that could blow up your entire friend group.

Taehyung strolls up next to you as the doors roll shut, sighing as he comes to a stop. “He okay?”

“No, but don’t try telling him that.”

He purses his lips. “I had a quick talk with Maya. Reminded her that just because she’s had bad experiences with guys in the past doesn’t give her the right to take it out on him.”

“Good,” you say. “She probably needed to hear it.”

A nod as he assesses your figure and asks, “Are you coming back to the bar? I already covered your tab.”

“Oh, I’ll pay you back—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “You can make it up to me a different time.”

You smirk at him, stepping closer. “How about I roll it into your Christmas present?”

“Deal.”

You let out a soft laugh, and he offers to walk you up, pressing the button to call the elevator back. The two of you chat about nothing in particular as you make your way to the third floor, commenting on the ridiculously patterned carpet in the halls and laughing about the strangely risqué photos that you noticed hanging in the rooms.

When you arrive at your door, you swipe your key card over the sensor, turning the light from red to green and wishing Taehyung goodnight, but he loops his fingers around your wrist to lightly tug you back.

“Y/N.” He curls his bottom lip over his teeth, head dipping towards the ground in a shy smile as he searches for his words. “I’m…really looking forward to tomorrow. It’s going to be fun.”

He’s adorable; he truly is. Seventeen years of affection, and he still finds ways to endear you to him even more, bits of gold from the lamps catching on the browns of his eyes as he stands before you.

“It is,” you say, tongue tied around your own apprehension. He hums and looks like he wants to say more—tangles his fingers in front of him and chews on his lip as he fidgets. But after a moment passes—you still stuck on his eyes—he jerks his chin down in a nod, says goodnight, and leaves you standing at your door in confusion, taking one look back as he swipes his own key card down the hall and disappears into his room.

You enter your own space with your mind whirling, not sure what the hell just happened but also sure that you’re not upset about it. And once you’ve gone through your bedtime routine and settled in for the night, you fall asleep thinking about brown eyes and shy smiles, welcoming the most restful sleep you’ve had in weeks.

You awake to the sound of Maya knocking on your door promptly at 9am with her suitcase in hand, casually making her way to your bed when you let her in and picking up the hotel menu from the side table while you stare at her. "What are you doing?" "We are going to order room service and watch some shitty TV, and then I am going to help you get you ready for your date." "It's not a date," you say on impulse, though you're internally tamping down the involuntary flutter that's tickling your stomach. "If it's anything, it's a guy taking pity on his unexpectedly-single friend." "Pity date then." She says it with a nonchalant wave of her hand and doesn't give you the chance to speak when you open your mouth to protest. "Y/N, please, just give me the chance to make his jaw drop. If there really is nothing there like you say there is, then what's the harm?" The harm, you think to yourself, is the tingling feeling that's been increasing in intensity when you've been around Taehyung recently, warmth flooding your body at just the thought of him. Your brain has been desperately explaining it away, chalking it up to years of familiarity and comfort being stoked by the emotional trauma which (you're quick to remind yourself) you're still working through. No, Y/N, I don’t have feelings for you. It's these thoughts that, in the end, have you acquiescing as Maya lets out a joyful squeal. At the very least, you make your friend happy and get some well-deserved girl bonding time. Really, what's the harm?

The idea has barely finished running through your mind when you’re already beginning to regret it and wondering what the hell you just got yourself into. Maya wheels her entire suitcase to the foot of your bed and pulls out no less than seven bags of make-up, a curling iron, hairspray, four different brushes, and a straightener.

“Are you doing the entire wedding party after this?” you ask incredulously. “Why did you bring so much?”

“Needed to be ready for anything,” she says, organizing her tools into neat rows. “When I’m done with you, every straight man and half the women will be falling at your feet.”

Your face heats, and you subconsciously rub at your arm. “That’s really not necessary.”

“Okay, then just one man.” She raises her arms, fingers arranged into a square through which she peers at you like she’s sizing you up for a photograph. “Hmm, where should we start?”

You and Maya make your way to the resort's event hall a little while before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Seating doesn't seem to have opened yet as guests mill about the entryway, the buzz of conversation filling the space above your heads, and the two of you pause at the top of the stairs to see if you can spot your friends. "I think Kook's got a purple tie," she says, peering around. "And you know what he's wearing why?" you ask, but she ignores you. "Oh, look, there they are." Maya's goal may have been to get Taehyung's jaw to drop, but you're left stunned when you look over to where he's standing with Jimin and Jungkook, the now-familiar tingle rippling through your veins once again. His black suit is perfectly tailored, accentuating his broad shoulders and narrow waist, emerald green tie wrapped around his neck to match the color of your dress as promised. He's slicked his hair back and away from his eyes so you're able to see how they nervously dart between Jimin and Jungkook, clearly not listening to whatever it is they're enthusiastically saying. Actually, once you look more closely, everything about his body language screams nerves for some reason, his hands moving back and forth to play with the hems of his jacket before smoothing the lapels over and over again. Maya waves, grabbing Jimin's attention, and you watch as he grins at the two of you before leaning in to say something to Taehyung, pointing at where you're standing. Maybe, you think, just maybe you appreciate Maya's plan from this morning after Taehyung glances up at you. His incessantly-moving fingers finally still—halfway through re-adjusting his tie—and his perfect Cupid's-bow-lips pop open, eyes wide as he soaks you in in your floor-length gown. Maya’s worked your hair into loose curls cascading over your shoulders and bare back, and while you convinced her to not go wild with the make-up, she strong-armed you into agreeing to a deep red lipstick that’s only accentuated by the green of your dress. A smug cough comes from your right (clearly Maya's pleased with her work) as you descend the stairs and approach the trio of men. Jimin and Jungkook greet you brightly while Taehyung still looks mildly concussed, continuing to stare at you with his mouth half-open. "Alright there, Tae?" you ask, reaching up to adjust and smooth out his tie, messy from where his hands had frozen on it.

The pads of your fingers are hot where they brush against the hard muscle of his chest, and you try not to read too deeply into the pounding of his heart. Taehyung makes a weird noise akin to what you'd imagine a drowning fish would sound like, and Jungkook gives him a sharp slap on the back, which seems to knock him out of whatever trance he'd fallen into. "Incredible!" he blurts, and you almost want to laugh at the reset-button-like effect Jungkook's smack seems to have on him. He clears his throat, composing himself further. "I, um—you, I mean. You look incredible." You thank him, ignoring the second wave of smugness that comes from Maya's direction, just as the event staff open the doors and begin ushering guests into the hall. Taehyung offers you his arm, and you gladly take it as he guides you to sit alongside your friends.

The wedding hall is as grandiose as the rest of the hotel, with columns ornamenting the sides of the room and a massive flower arch constituting the altar. You all talk as you wait for the ceremony to begin, admiring the decor (the bright bouquets of red, purple, and blue flowers pop against the stark white of the venue) and trying to see if you recognize any of the guests.

“Oh, there’s Sunny’s cousin Chan,” Maya says, peering out over the room. “Remember we met him at that party one time?”

“Didn’t the two of you drunkenly make-out?” you ask.

Jimin frowns. “I thought they hooked up.”

“No, Y/N is right.” She fixes her hair, oblivious to the way Jungkook is now staring at the man in question, hackles raised. “Wouldn’t say no to that happening again; he was good with his hands. Tae, are you alright? You’re looking at Y/N like she’s sprouted four more arms.”

You swivel your head around to see Taehyung next to you, entirely flushed red above the shoulders. He licks his lips as he meets your eyes, blinking furiously like he’s trying to clear his thoughts. “Sorry, I spaced out.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Maya waves a dismissive hand, shuffling her attention to Jimin to ask if he knows about the music choices for the ceremony.

A throat clears on your right. “You do look nice. Really.” Taehyung looks utterly sheepish, his head tilted low as he softly pays you the compliment, and it reminds you of how shy he was last night as well. A butterfly takes flight in your chest, and now you’re the one blushing.

“Thank you. You cleaned up nicely, too,” you reply, and he blinks at you in a way that has you second guessing your words. “Not that you don’t always clean up nicely. And not that you don’t normally look very handsome. Because you do. Look very handsome, I mean. All the time.”

His bashfulness morphs into amusement, lips quirking up in an affectionate smile. “Oh, really?”

Your face heats up even more, mouth opening to respond with you don’t even know what, and you’re grateful when a hush falls over the room, the beginning notes of a wedding march signaling the ceremony’s start.

Hoseok appears first, looking dapper in a full tuxedo and grinning ear-to-ear. He walks down the aisle with long strides like he can’t possibly get to the end fast enough, bouncing on his toes as he settles into his spot.

The officiant is next, followed by Iseul and Seokmin, one of Hoseok’s childhood friends. Hana and Namjoon stroll in arm-in-arm after that, then Yumi and Jiho, and finally, everyone rises to their feet as Sunny appears at the entrance and begins her walk in, gaze finding only her groom.

Just as Sunny reaches the head of the aisle, a teary-eyed Hoseok taking her hands in his, another image, one which had once occupied your mind almost constantly but hadn't plagued you in weeks, takes hold: you and Jace in a similar setting, pledging forever to each other in front of your friends and family.

Maybe you had gotten ahead of yourself—the discovery of the ring box in his desk along with the natural longevity of your relationship sparking your imagination—but in the weeks leading up to your heartbreak, you had allowed your mind to plan—what kind of dress you'd wear, the colors you'd pick out, what you might say in your vows. It seems stupid now, dwelling on a future that's already evaporated into nothingness, but seeing the echoes of your dreams being played out in front of you, it’s like you can feel the sand physically slipping through your fingers.

Right as it starts to become too much, as you feel your chest tighten and heart ache, there's a brush of skin against the side of your hand, and glancing down, you see that Taehyung's reached over to quietly hook his pinky with yours. You turn to face him, but he keeps his eyes directed on the bride and groom, face neutral and unreadable, and you know he's giving you the chance to pull away, no questions asked.

But the gesture has warmth flooding through you, thawing the ice of your previous thoughts, and so you move to slip your hand under his, lacing your fingers and pressing your palms together tightly.

Taehyung looks at you then, a shy smile crinkling his eyes and twisting up the corners of his mouth, and you grin back, the previous ache in your chest replaced with a steady flutter as he begins to skim his thumb back and forth in a gentle caress.

You stay that way for the rest of the ceremony—watching your friends vow eternity to each other, Taehyung's hand tethered with yours.

Classical music drifts from the speakers at the back of the room as you find your seats for the reception. The ballroom is tremendous, with tall, arched ceilings, a gorgeous chandelier, and a wide dance floor that you’re sure will see a ton of action later. With the tables seating eight, you see that you’ve been placed in a grouping of you, Taehyung, Maya, Jimin, Jungkook, and three of Hoseok’s medical school friends, who introduce themselves as Wonwoo, Joshua, and Mingyu.

Thankfully, your group hits it off immediately. Wonwoo is rather reserved, more an observer of those around him than anything, but Taehyung and Jimin quickly strike up a conversation with Joshua about college after the latter mentions having gone to the same school as you, albeit never crossing paths. Maya and Mingyu, meanwhile, immediately fall into their own introductions, talking about how they know Hoseok and Mingyu’s studies to become a doctor.

“If you ever need a headshot or something, let me know,” Maya says, laying a hand on his arm. Across the table, Jungkook's head shoots up. “I do work as a photographer and would be happy to help.”

“Oh, really?” Mingyu makes no move to remove her hand; if anything, he shifts even closer. “What are your rates?”

“For you? Free of charge. Any friend of Hoseok is a friend of mine.” They're in their own little bubble now, Jungkook watching wide-eyed. “Besides, you'd be doing me a favor. With a face like that, you're a photographer's dream. Perfect model.”

Mingyu smirks. “A face like what?”

“Dangerously handsome.”

“HEY, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO SPECIALIZE IN?”

Jungkook practically screams it, and not only do Maya and Mingyu turn to look at him in bewilderment, but so does the rest of the table and a few guests in the neighboring seats.

Joshua clears his throat awkwardly, eying Jungkook like he might be rabid. “I’m trying for pediatrics.”

“Surgery,” Wonwoo says.

Maya turns towards her new companion. “What about you, Mingyu?”

He leans back in his chair. Gives a light tug on his tie. “I have a residency lined up in obstetrics and gynecology.”

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me—”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung says, cutting him off as he slides his chair back from the table. “Why don’t you help me get a round of drinks?”

“But—“

“C’mon.” He says it gently, like he’s trying to coax a toddler, and rises to his feet, giving you a gentle tap on the shoulder as he goes. “Cosmo?”

“Yes, please,” you say, and he nods, dropping a quick wink your way as Jungkook joins him, grumbling under his breath.

Joshua watches them walk away in the direction of the bar. “Is he always this…”

“Annoying?” Maya scoffs.

“Transparent.” Wonwoo quietly smirks.

A gentle laugh sounds on your left as Jimin hears. “I don’t know that anyone has ever described Jungkook as subtle in his life.”

Maya frowns, Mingyu looking downright perplexed at her side. “I don’t think I quite understand what’s going on,” he begins, but Maya soothes him with another press of her hand to his arm.

“Don’t worry about him. It doesn’t matter,” she says. “Tell me more about your residency.”

The reception passes in a swirl of music and drinks and food—and oh goodness, the food. Plates heaped with calamari, crab legs, and tiny filets wrapped in bacon are placed at the table by wait staff as your group digs in. Even Jungkook is placated, no longer scowling at Maya and Mingyu.

"Ughhh, I am never eating this well again," Jimin groans, stretching back in his chair and giving an exaggerated rub to his belly.

"You'd best get ready to," Taehyung says from your other side. "This isn't even dinner."

"This isn't even dinner?!"

Dinner turns out to be just as delicious and lavish as the appetizers, and it's no surprise that once dancing starts, your friends opt to stay seated for a while longer talking and digesting. As the party climbs to a full swing, Mingyu asks Maya to dance, Jimin and Jungkook start a debate on whether the butt is one body part or two, and Taehyung excuses himself to the restroom.

“It’s one part that’s split!” Jimin loudly exclaims. “The top is connected!”

“Jimin, go home, stand in front of the mirror, and pull your right ass cheek up. See if your left cheek comes up with it, and then get back to me, you absolute clown.”

“Do they do this a lot?” Joshua asks, the two idiots arguing between you.

“At least once a month.” You take a sip of your drink as you look on, bored. “I’m pretty sure this one is a rerun from last Halloween.”

“It’s one,” Wonwoo says, amused.

A flash of green catches your eye, and you look up to see Taehyung standing by the side of the bar, speaking with a woman. She's about your age, you think, and pretty, wearing a low-cut dress that certainly accentuates her chest.

She and Taehyung are talking excitedly, and you can tell he's putting the charm on—eyes bright, signature boxy smile lighting up his face. Nausea simmers in the pit of your stomach, and you force your attention back towards Jimin and Jungkook, trying to focus on whatever nonsense they're debating now.

This isn't a “date-date,” you remind yourself. And Taehyung hasn't had a relationship in a year—not since he was so torn up after Luna. He deserves to meet someone.

You’re spaced out next to your friends, still only halfway listening to them jabber on about butt cheeks, when a slow song starts up over the speakers and, within seconds, a hand is being extended over your shoulder.

You look up to find Taehyung's eyes gazing steadily down at you, a small but confident smile playing on his lips.

"Dance with me?"

And in spite of the unease that had plagued you only moments ago, you don't hesitate to let him wrap up your small hand in his large one and lead you to the dance floor. His palm settles on your lower back to pull you in close, and maybe it’s the proximity or the intoxicating smell of his cologne that weakens your resolve, but you find the words spilling out.

"Did you get her number?"

Taehyung looks at you quizzically, brow furrowing in confusion. "Whose?"

"The woman at the bar."

His face relaxes as he realizes. "Oh, yeah. I did."

"Good." You manage a smile. Why does it feel so hard? "It really is…good you're getting back out there. Are you going to ask her on a date?"

He laughs, mischief in his eyes. "I don't think her fiancé would like that." And now it's your turn to look confused.

"Her fiancé?"

"I met the two of them through Hoseok a couple times so we've chatted. Nice people." He nods his head, and you look over to see the woman now dancing with a man not too far from you. "They just got engaged, and she knows I'm a photographer so she asked if I'd be interested in doing the wedding. I said I'd call her this week to talk about it."

"Oh." You can feel your face flush, but there's no doubting the relief that floods through you. And Taehyung surely notices, grinning down at you in amusement.

"Were you jealous?"

"No!" you say, but perhaps a little too quickly because Taehyung laughs, his fingers applying a gentle pressure to your back to pull you closer.

"I'm here with you," he murmurs matter-of-factly.

You shake your head at him. "It's fine, Tae. If someone catches your eye…like I said, it could be good—"

"I'm here with you," he repeats, more firmly this time. He releases your hand for a moment to tuck a stray curl behind your ear, and you have to look away. You spot Hoseok and Sunny swaying together in the middle of the dance floor, pressed closely together and smiling at each other like they're the only two people in the world. What it must be like to have someone look at you like that, you think, to hold you like you're something precious to be cherished. You had thought Jace made you feel that way, but now, watching your friends gaze at each other so delicately, so in love, you're no longer sure he even came close.

"What are you looking at?" Taehyung's voice rouses you out of your thoughts, and you suddenly notice his hand has drifted a little higher to where the back of your dress dips down low, exposing your bare skin.

Trying to pass off the shiver that involuntarily runs through you as a nod, you gesture at the newly married couple. "They're so good together."

Taehyung follows your line of sight, watching Hoseok lean down to murmur something in Sunny's ear that makes her giggle and press her face into his chest. "They are."

"Can you imagine loving someone like that?" Your voice is a bare whisper as if the words slipped out on their own accord, like a wish you didn't even realize you were making.

Taehyung's fingers splay at your spine, gently tugging you in until your hips are bumping his. Startled, your eyes snap back to him, breath catching in your chest. He's gazing at you intently, but as opposed to the intense fire that you've seen from him at times, there's only a deep warmth to his brown irises that you're not sure you've ever seen before. He looks at you with softness, with both a sense of familiarity and wonder that can only be attributed to your many years of companionship, and you see it all swimming behind his eyes—every day spent together seeking refuge from your families, every stupid childhood fight, every time you comforted each other through the bad days. And before you can deflect, can explain away the question as a rhetorical slip of the tongue, you hear his answer come out on a breath.

"Yes."

There’s a weight to it, the word landing from his lips like a stone into water, and you suddenly forget where you are. The world around you fades away: faces, music, and noise all receding into the background until it’s just him and you, you and him.

Just like it’s always been.

Taehyung's head dips towards you as if pulled by gravity, and your body responds in turn, hand sliding from his shoulder to the hair at the nape of his neck and eyes fluttering shut. Your breaths mingle together, his nose lightly brushing against yours, and you find yourself on the brink of keening forward, on the brink of diving headfirst into a place of no return, when—

"Hey, we're going to step outside for some air. Do you guys wanna—oh."

You spring apart. Jimin is staring at the two of you, eyes so wide you're worried they might fall out of his head. His hand is still half-raised, pointing in the direction of the doors behind him, and you use this to make your escape.

"Yeah sounds good I'll come outside definitely," you babble before speeding towards the exit. Glancing back over your shoulder, you see Jimin say something animatedly to Taehyung, but the latter shakes his head and mumbles something back, his face pink.

The night air is cool on your skin, and you could not be more grateful for it because what the fuck was that?

Were you really about to kiss your best friend? Or was he going to kiss you? Things had certainly been…different between you two recently, but this surely would have been an awful idea. If something went wrong or there was a misunderstanding, you'd likely never be able to come back from it.

He said he doesn't have feelings for you.

…But do you have feelings for him?

Maybe yes, his smile has always set your heart alight unlike anything else and yes, your brain seems to have been lingering recently on how damn handsome he is and yes, you'd do anything for him at the drop of a hat—follow him anywhere—but given your history, of course you would, right? He's your best friend.

And he deserves to be more than a rebound. Because that's what this must be—lingering heartbreak amplified by the emotions of a wedding. You may have even imagined Taehyung leaning towards you, a desperate fantasy of a mind just wanting to be loved.

That's it, you decide. Your brain must have finally snapped into a world of delusion.

You're so caught up in your thoughts that you don't hear Jungkook approach you, practically jumping out of your skin when he places a gentle hand on your arm.

"Y/N—shit—you okay?" He looks at you with his big doe eyes wide and apologetic.

"Yeah," you say, as your racing heart begins to calm. "You just startled me."

"Sorry, I tried to call you, but I don't think you heard. We're back over there if you want to join us." He nods his head in the direction of a patio area behind him, and you spot Namjoon, Joshua, and Wonwoo sitting around a table next to an elegant fountain, its ornamental lights illuminating the magnificent swan sitting atop it. They’re all laughing and, for some reason, the sight makes your chest tighten.

"Um, maybe in a little bit. I think I might just need a walk right now."

Jungkook studies you, biting ever so slightly into his bottom lip, and you think you see something in the way of understanding behind his eyes (you wonder if it has anything to do with the notable absence of Maya and Mingyu). "Do you want company?"

When you just give him a small smile and shake your head, he nods.

"Okay, well…you know where to find us." He moves to rejoin the others, but then turns back towards you, taking easy steps on his heels. "And just shout if you need a friend."

You meander around the outside of the hotel, following the stone path that paves its way around the perimeter. There's a certain kind of peace out here. Though the summer is nearing its close, you can still hear crickets chirping in the grass and spot the occasional firefly dangling in the air. You focus on the swishing of the cars out on the main road and try to let the sound clear your mind, but as you settle on a short brick wall overlooking the property's enormous lake, you realize it's no use.

Your eyes drift closed as you sink into the grief once again, let it slowly overtake you like quicksand until your lungs are crushed and burning. But more than anything, you’re simply exhausted—perpetually drained by the demons which have once again arrived to feast on your psyche.

At this point, you think most of your frustration lies with yourself. Maybe you’re being overdramatic, maybe you should be over it by now—if only you were stronger, more resilient. Not the miserable pushover you feel you’ve turned out to be. Harsh? Yes. Unfair? Perhaps. This does feel like the breaking point in your life’s long line of abandonments, digging up feelings you haven’t felt since you were a child.

But that being said, it also makes you feel like you should be used to it by now. Should be used to having to bounce back—what else can you expect from the world at this point, really? What a fool you were to even think that this time would be different.

The sound of quiet footsteps has you opening your eyes again, and you’re not sure whether the man in front of you is the first or last person you want to see right now.

Taehyung has his hands in his pockets, watching you with that calculated expression he always has on when he’s trying to gauge your mood. But all you can see in his face on your end is concern, not a hint of awkwardness or trepidation after what just transpired between the two of you in the ballroom.

So it really must have been all in your head.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “Kook said you seemed upset.”

“I’m fine.” You try to push out a smile, but he unsurprisingly sees right through it, closing the gap between you and gesturing at the spot to your right.

“Mind if I sit?”

You’re still not entirely in the mood for company but you can’t bring yourself to say no to him, so you give the tiniest of nods and Taehyung settles on the wall next to you.

The two of you sit in silence for a bit, the buzz of the surrounding trees continuing its serenade. Taehyung doesn’t push, doesn’t say anything, only provides a steady presence. On particularly bad days when you were kids, you’d both wander down to the local playground and sit on the swings for a while. Sometimes you’d talk—either to rant and let it all out or make each other laugh to distract yourselves—but most nights, you’d just sit in the quiet and enjoy the feeling of not being alone.

It feels like that now, with Taehyung’s warmth radiating at your shoulder and the stars hanging above, but tonight, you’re compelled to speak.

“I’m really pathetic, huh?”

Taehyung’s eyes flash as he looks over at you, but he doesn’t interrupt, sensing you want to say more.

“I’m at my friends’ wedding, I’m supposed to be celebrating them and their love for each other, and instead I’m out here having a pity party.” You scoff. “It’s pathetic and selfish.”

“First of all, we are out here having a pity party,” Taehyung begins, and it draws a sudden laugh from you that you think sounds halfway deranged, but he only smiles.

"Secondly, you're not pathetic, and you're not selfish. You just went through a traumatic event, you know? You're allowed to have emotions."

"I know, but I just don't…want to," you sigh. "I just want it all to stop. I'm so tired of feeling weighed down especially on a day like this, but it's like it just doesn't end. The reminders don't end."

"You thought he'd be here," Taehyung says softly, and though his head nods slightly in understanding, his voice is tinged with sadness. "You miss him."

"I—that's not exactly it, no," you quickly say, not wanting him to think that you somehow regret being here with him. "Given what he did…like you’ve said, it's not forgivable, so it's not like I wish he was here. I mean, sure, are there some days where I reflexively think about him and stuff? Of course—we were together for four years—but I…still would prefer to never see him again."

Taehyung lets out a short sigh that you interpret as approval, but he stays quiet, giving you time to work out your thoughts.

"I think it's more the loss of security than anything. Seeing Hoseok and Sunny up at the alter…I couldn't help thinking that I was so, so close to that—to having that one person that I could commit to walking through life with. A partner, a friend, just someone to have day-in and day-out. Forever." You choke up, a fresh wave of tears lodging in your throat that you try to keep down. Taehyung is stiff next to you, staring down at his hands in his lap.

"And I want that, Tae. I want that so bad. But it's…so scary to start from scratch after feeling that close. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm just constantly overwhelmed and feel like I can't outrun it, and then I feel guilty on days like this because I shouldn't be letting it get to me, and—"

"Hey, hey, Y/N, shhhh." Taehyung finally jumps in as you begin to spiral, reaching out to take your hand in his. "You don't have to worry or feel guilty because you are going to have all of that. Okay? You will."

"You can't know that."

"I do." He slips his pinky around yours briefly before his hand comes up to cup your jaw, guiding your eyes to his. "I promise you. I don't know how far out it'll be, but one day we'll all be together again at a place like this, and it'll be your turn." He gets a faraway look in his eye, seemingly perceiving something that you're struggling to even grab a glimpse of right now. "It'll be everything you've ever dreamed of—intimate and outdoors, right? I know you always said growing up that you were going to get married at the Spring Day Gardens. If you still want it, it'll be yours."

You let his words draw you in, painting you a picture so beautiful you're afraid to even let your heart believe in it. But his baritone voice presses on.

"And it'll be perfect. Not a cloud in the sky—nothing but sunshine. And we'll all be there, and you'll have your favorite lily bouquet and your perfect dress…"

Something stops him, and he blinks at you, dropping his palm from your face and glancing away at the lights from the party before resuming his tale.

"And the guy…" He licks his lips, and you feel the hand that's still holding yours tighten ever so slightly. "He's going to love you so much. Properly love you. He's going to see you come down that aisle and weep because he's just going to know that he's the luckiest guy in the universe. And if he doesn't cry right away, I'll kick him in the shins up there until he does because in spite of what Jimin and Jungkook think, we all know that I'm actually your best man."

You let out a watery giggle, the tears flowing freely now, and Taehyung reaches up to swipe a few off your cheeks, letting out a chuckle of his own.

"I want to believe you," you say quietly. "And hopefully one day I will. I just…I need more time."

"Whatever you need, you know I'm here for you," he murmurs, and you nod.

You fall back into silence for a few moments, Taehyung dutifully continuing to hold your hand while you lightly sniffle and wipe at your cheeks.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to the party like this—I think you ruined my make-up," you joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"Maybe, but you're the prettiest raccoon I've ever seen."

You laugh in earnest now, your shoulders shaking with it, and Taehyung smiles at you before suddenly rising to his feet.

"Wait here," he says, and then he's jogging back up towards the venue.

The silence envelops you again as you continue to mull over Taehyung's vision. Your battered heart is hesitant to dream, all of your imaginings coming in with fuzzy edges and blurry details that you just can't seem to place. But you're sure Taehyung was definitely right about one thing—you can't imagine a situation where you get married without him standing by your side.

It's a handful of minutes later when the man himself finally reappears with a hand behind his back and a mischievous smile on his face. When you raise your eyebrows at him in question, he comes to a halt in front of you and presents a full fifth of your favorite whiskey.

"What do you say we get out of here?"

The dim hotel lights cast a soft glow about the room as you and Taehyung pass the bottle back and forth, the mood significantly more casual than the extravagant party you just ditched. The decor may be fancy—Hoseok and Sunny certainly didn’t skimp when it came to location—but the two of you are perfectly rumpled, stretched out on the expensive sheets: you having removed your make-up and changed into your pajamas and Taehyung propped up against the headboard with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his jacket and tie tossed over the couch.

You’ve started up a game of Truth or Drink, a somewhat milder version of Truth or Dare, where you get to take turns asking each other questions, and the respondent has the chance to either answer the question or take a mouthful of whiskey. Normally, between you and Taehyung, such a game would be low stakes, with your shared years and few secrets between you making it hard to ask challenging questions. But something about tonight and the need for a distraction seems to have made both of you competitive, going for questions that you know the other wouldn’t want to answer.

“What was the last thing you cried about?”

“One thing you don’t like about me?”

“Favorite position?”

“Did you really lose your virginity in a tree house?”

“What’s your greatest fear?”

"If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

"Oh God, one of those cupcakes from Sweet Night Bakery," you groan. It was a place you had passed every day on the way to school, the wafting scents of cookies and cakes playing pied piper to your youthful noses. You had always dreamed of one day being able to afford the expensive pastries but had fled your hometown before having the adult money to do so.

"Seriously? Anything in the world and you want a cupcake?" Taehyung laughs, pink tongue poking out from behind his teeth.

"It's not just anything, it's one of my life's dreams," you counter, playfully shaking a fist at him for emphasis, but Taehyung seems unconvinced. "Fine then, if you have such a good answer. Same question."

He tilts his head at you, a mild haze in his eyes that tells you that while he's not drunk-drunk, he's definitely tipsy. A beat passes and he takes a drink.

"Ooh, mysterious," you slur. "But I win."

"Alright, alright." He grins at you. "I concede to your sugary dreams."

You mirror his smile, observe the way his fingers curl in his lap as you try to think of your next question. He’s always had nice hands—so delicate and careful with everything he touches. It’s odd, you think, how such gentleness could emerge from a home and upbringing that was anything but. How someone as bright as Taehyung could come from such darkness.

“Do you want kids one day?”

The question takes him by surprise when you ask it, and he physically startles, turning the bottle in his hands slowly. “I don’t know. Why?” He looks at you then, and you feel like you can see a riddle being worked out in his head. “Where did that question come from?”

“I don’t know,” you echo. “You spent so much time earlier imagining a future for me. I realized that we’ve never really talked about what you want for yourself outside of your career.”

Growing up, you’d discussed your dreams for the future, of course. But while you have always skewed towards the romantic, envisioning rings and weddings and vows, Taehyung’s always been much more practical and career-oriented—his plans always involved degrees and promotions and retirement funds.

A beat passes as he continues to fidget with the whiskey bottle before he again says, “I’m really not sure.”

“Well think about it now,” you challenge. “Or drink up.”

He chuckles to himself, some private joke in his head. “It would terrify me, I think. But I’d love them with everything I’ve got. Want to give them everything I didn’t have and be better than my parents were.”

You hum in agreement; you’ve had the same thoughts on occasion. Some who grew up in your situation may have been turned off the idea of children—and the idea does scare you in certain respects—but you’ve always been stubborn. “It’d be a chance to prove that it doesn’t have to be that hard. That you didn’t deserve what you went through.”

Fingers graze against yours in a subtle show of kinship. As always, you understand each other. “Exactly.”

And he may be struggling to imagine it, but you can see it so clearly: a small boy with big, brown eyes and a boxy smile riding on Taehyung’s shoulders. The two of them playing in the sand at the beach house or walking down the street together—the boy’s tiny hand tucked safely in his father’s.

The image chokes you up, fills you with so much warmth you think you might burst.

“You’d be an amazing father, Tae.”

There’s not a single doubt in your mind about it—that this incredible, thoughtful, selfless man would also be a wonderful dad. He doesn’t look so sure, but a flicker of recognition passes through him.

“You’ve said that to me once before,” he murmurs.

“I did?”

A nod. “One time when you were drunk junior year.”

You don’t remember it, the memory lost to the alcohol. “I guess drunk me has flashes of brilliance.”

“Maybe we’ll see someday.”

“I hope we will.”

Suddenly nervous, he swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing in the long column of his neck. “But it’d have to be with the right person.”

“Has there ever been anyone who you thought was close?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “You’re asking a disproportionate amount of questions.”

Reaching over, you pull the bottle from his hands, drink down a mouthful of burning liquor, and set it right back in his lap. “Answer.”

Wide eyes appraise you through the dim light; he looks almost impressed. “No.”

“No, there’s never been someone you could see a future with, or no, you won’t answer?”

“The first one,” he says. “I’ve never been with someone I could imagine having kids with.”

You frown, the blunt despondence in his tone cutting. “Not even Luna?”

A look is thrown your way—pursed lips and creased brow telling you that’s a stupid question.

“What happened with her?”

He scoffs, lips immediately wrapping around the bottle as he takes a gulp.

“So something did happen.”

“We broke up,” he states. “That’s what happened.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never said why.”

He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. As if you’ve just asked him what he wants for dinner and not why the longest relationship of his life ended. “We weren’t compatible.”

You can’t help but sigh, a small part of you hurt that he still refuses to talk about it, that he’s closed this part of himself off to you. “You don’t trust me?”

“Y/N, no.” He shakes his head, looking genuinely remorseful to have given you that impression. “That’s not it. It’s just…impossibly complicated—“

“Was it me?” You’re suddenly reminded of a conversation with Maya from weeks ago, when she’d suggested that you were the reason all of Taehyung’s relationships had failed.

His lips part, tongue pushing into his cheek like he’s trying to hold words back.

“It was, wasn’t it?” you push, and his teeth dig into his tongue now, chewing. “You can tell me. I can handle i—“

“You were part of it, yes.”

In spite of what you’ve just said, the words land like a blow. You’ve spent years watching him go through breakup after breakup, and now you find out that you were a source of that anguish all along—helped fuel that heartbreak in his life.

It pains you to think you’ve been holding him back.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” you whisper.

“Because there was nothing to tell. It didn’t matter.”

“It does matter, Tae. If I’m getting in the way of your relationships…I want you to be happy.”

“You make me happy.”

That silences you, the sincerity in his voice leaving you blinking at him, and he continues.

“She didn’t like how close we are—most of them haven’t. But it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, I’ll always choose you. And that’s the end of it. Nothing left to tell.”

You feel like you should protest this, insist on him putting himself and his future first.

But given similar circumstances, wouldn’t you do the same for him?

“Did Jace ever give you shit about us?” he asks, reading your mind.

He had, ranting about Taehyung that night in some fucked up attempt to explain away why you’d found him in bed with another woman. Before then, you hadn’t noticed the signs: hadn’t picked up on his reluctance to spend time with your friends, hadn’t read into the way he stuck close to your side on the rare occasions he did, a possessive arm always tight around your waist.

It all made sense afterwards, and you hate that the vulnerability and anguish of the moment made you question your own actions. You never would’ve shut Taehyung out—never in a million years—but it initially made you think that maybe if you’d been more attentive towards Jace, had been more sensitive to his feelings, that maybe you wouldn’t have wound up in the situation you did.

You recognize now that he didn’t deserve it in the end, obviously, but heartbreak is a funny thing.

Not wanting to have to admit to any of that out loud, you whisk the bottle from Taehyung’s hands again and drink. He watches the movement of your throat with heavy, knowing eyes, immediately taking the whiskey back for his own sip once you’ve finished.

“I must admit,” he says, the alcohol clearly loosening his tongue as he sags against the headboard. “I’m a little relieved about things ending for you and Jace. Aside from him being a certified douchebag, I mean.”

You frown, not sure where he’s going with this, and the look on your face must come across as offense because he’s quick to clarify.

“Not that I liked seeing you hurt.” He shakes his head, and you can see some anger at the situation still lingering under the surface. “No, never. But I just…now I get to keep you longer at least.”

“Keep me?”

“Yeah, this…” He wags a finger between you. “You know this has to end one day, right?”

The whiskey should be warming, but your veins fill with ice at his words. Losing Jace was one thing. Losing Taehyung would be a different matter entirely.

“You’re always going to have me,” you say, reaching for his pinky.

But he pulls his hand away.

“Not like this.” He smiles with what you assume to be intended comfort, but his entire demeanor is tainted with sadness. “One day, when you have the dream guy and the family and the white picket fence, there won’t be room for me. Not like this.”

It feels like earlier—him trying to paint you a picture of a possible future for you—but unlike earlier, you can’t picture this future. You don’t want it. Not if he’s not there.

“Tae—“

“It’s okay, Y/N.” He gives another sad smile, takes another drink. “No husband is going to want a third wheel hanging around. I understand. I want you to be happy, too.”

But you wouldn’t be happy without him, and in many ways, you’ve always known that to be true. But that knowledge hits you now with such force, such raw truth, that it renders you speechless and leaves you staring at him, drunken eyes laser-focused as if discovering the very center of the universe.

You want to challenge him on his statement, make him see that he’s wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But the alcohol muddles your thoughts, has your brain dropping half-formed sentences through your mind like Scrabble pieces that you can’t quite wrangle into a coherent thought.

Taehyung takes your silence for agreement and, seeming to suddenly realize that some kind of line has just been crossed, takes the quiet opportunity to flip the conversation back to your game.

“The shoes you gave me for my seventeenth birthday,” he begins, the words tipping out slow and oddly calculated for someone who’s had as much to drink as he has. “Where did the money come from?”

You know where he’s going with this. And it’s perhaps the only secret you’ve kept from him in the entirety of your friendship. “Christmas money, I told you.”

“No, really.”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“I never saw that house decorated for Christmas even once.”

“Could’ve been from an aunt or uncle.”

“But it wasn’t, was it?”

It wasn’t. You snuck the money out of your father’s desk one day knowing that he wouldn’t have even noticed it was missing. Absent-minded in everything aside from work, your father had misplaced things constantly. You drink. And even though it’s supposed to be an avoidance of the question, it gives him his answer.

“I knew it.”

“They weren’t going to miss it, and you needed it more.”

“You could’ve gotten in so much trouble.”

“I knew I wouldn’t. I didn’t. And it was worth the risk regardless.”

Looking back, you wish you’d had more of a fear of getting caught—wish your parents would’ve scolded you, screamed at you, anything. It would’ve been better than the indifference you’d been met with day in and day out. As if you were invisible.

Taehyung’s head swings from side-to-side. “You shouldn’t have. I would’ve been okay.”

“And you shouldn’t have punched Jace in that club, but you did anyway, didn’t you?”

“That’s different.”

“It’s not. You’re not the only one who gets to put your ass on the line for the people you care about. You were worth the risk.”

He blinks, regarding you as if you’ve presented him with some outlandish concept. Like you’ve asked him to explain rocket science or open-heart surgery. “Then you should’ve told me then.”

“You would’ve given them back.”

“Maybe, but then at least we would’ve been in it together instead of you lying to me.”

“And you’ve never lied to me?”

He hesitates, tongue tracing his bottom lip. “No.”

“Okay, then. Truth or drink: what’s the worst lie you’ve ever told?”

You know there must be one, can read it in the way his shoulder is suddenly pressed against yours as he tilts into you. Fingertips skim the bare skin of your knee, tentative in their movements, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath as the distance between you closes to mere centimeters, his gaze roaming your face and snagging on your mouth.

And you feel it—the pull that you’ve always felt towards him, the gravitational force that’s kept you in the same orbit since you were children. Two souls that intertwined the moment they sensed the other’s presence with a flash of awareness and said, You, you, you.

Thinking back on the entirety of your life, you don’t know how you possibly could have made it through without him: your best friend, your partner, your sanctuary. In such a volatile world—a turbulent youth marred by uncertainty and sorrow—he took your hand and held you steady, made sure you didn’t go through it alone.

In hindsight, you can’t truly regret it. Yes, there will always be a part of you that will resent your parents, wish that they would have loved you enough to spare you the hurt and stress they put you through. But just like the night when he brought you back to your apartment—held you close as you fell asleep in his embrace—your memories with him far outweigh the trauma you endured. When you think of your time spent growing up, he is by far the brightest star, outshining any darkness that may have lingered at the corners. It’s not the empty house or your parents’ stony faces that you think of first, but him: blanket forts and starry nights and walks in the park and blurry photographs and sometimes tears, sure, but only with him there to hold you.

Looking at this man in front of you, in every familiar line of his face and body, you know, without a crumb of doubt, that you’d do it all again. Screw Jace and Luna and your parents and anyone else who’s expressed disdain at your closeness with him. He’s written into every line of your history, every memory that’s worth something. And he may fight you on it, but he’s worth every risk you’ve ever taken—you would’ve stolen a thousand pairs of shoes for him. You’d move mountains and drain the oceans if he needed you to. You’d do anything.

You couldn’t live without him. You don’t want to live without him.

A moment of clarity, a wave of revelation as you lock eyes and are met with your favorite color. And at long last, you find the words.

I love you.

Your heart throws itself off a cliff…

And you lean in to press your lips to his.

a/n: happy holidays to all who celebrate 😊

#taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts x reader #bts x you #bts imagines #taehyung imagines #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #taehyung #bts fic #bts fanfic

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c0nfessions-of-a-writing-freak · 1 year

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Prologue: A Lightfury’s Guide to Stealing A Dragon Rider

Pairing: Hiccup 'Horrendous’ Haddock III x fem!oc

Word count: 1.2k

Summary: A mysterious new dragon rider has been starting to make their presence known by tearing through dragon hunter ships and leaving nothing in their wake. What dragon they ride is unknown. What they look like is unknown. Why they are hunting the dragon hunters is unknown. The only thing that is known is that they will stop at nothing to destroy every dragon hunter ship at any and all costs.

A/N: This is my first time doing something like this so my apologies if it seems rushed or not very good. This morning I just sort of had a burst of creativity and decided I wanted to do this since I rewatched the httyd films recently and started rewatching rtte. This fic will be set during rtte and I haven't decided how I want it to end so it might carry on into the movies but I’m not completely sure yet. I’m hoping to post once or twice a week, each time hopefully having some lengthy chapters. This chapter obviously isn’t too long and I had to decide between making it a prologue or a normal chapter but I'm hoping it turns out better with my decision. Thank you for reading this and hopefully the first chapter of a who-knows-how-long series.

“Fire!” Came the shouted yell of a dragon hunter. The man had his sword raised at an invisible force, his face twisted into a hardened glower as his eyes rapidly shot around the open air before them, the only visible entity being the waxing moon hanging in the clear night sky.

A few flimsy dragon root-laced arrows shot up at where the man had pointed, none of which were able to land its mark. Hunters quickly lined up a second arrow, pointing the weapon towards the sky, ready to shoot on command.

“There's nothing there Ryker,” One of the men stated as he lowered his bow, stepping towards the man who held a crazed look in his eyes. “Whatever fired those shots and sunk the rest of our ships is long gone.”

As if on cue, a whistling lit up the air, chilling the dragon hunters into silence as their heads shot up. With arrows at the ready to immobilise the beast that had been tearing through their ships, they waited for their orders.

Seemingly out of thin air a blast of pinkish plasma shot towards the deck of a large ship just over from where Ryker stood, sending hunters scattering out of range as the ship was knocked back and forth. Several arrows fired at where the shot had come from, all sailing through the air and into nothing.

“Long gone you say?” Ryker asked the hunter who had spoken, an eyebrow raised at the previous statement.

The hunter's eyes fell quickly, shoulders bunching up near his ears before a surge of courage took over him. Raising his head, the hunter stared Ryker down. “It’s an invisible force, Ryker,” he attempted, any bravery draining from him at the set ablaze look in Ryker's eyes. “We’ll never hit it at the rate we’re going.”

“I don’t care if we’re out here all night, we are not moving until we have that dragon locked in a cage,” Ryker demanded through gritted teeth, taking half a step towards the hunter who had opposed him before whirling back around, moving across the deck of the ship with a watchful eye on the sky. “Whatever it is, it’ll have to show itself sooner or later.”

Higher in the sky, said invisible dragon had landed on top of the large sale, paws carefully aligned with the wooden mast to keep itself hidden. On the beast’s back, made from the same material as its scales and leather was a white-scaled saddle. It wasn't the most comfortable substance to make up a saddle but it got its intended job done. Laced in white scales, designed on leather and shaped to be the human shape of the dragon she sat on, was a girl warped in the same invisible blanket that hid her dragon.

Her eyes traced the towering figure of Ryker as his daunting figure scaled the length of the boat, eyes lit from beneath the carved-out space in her helmet. "I don't think they like us very much," The girl said as she slid one of her gloved hands along the neck of her dragon, using blind faith in hopes of not straying from the invisible dragon's neck.

An elated purr escaped the white beast as she stared down at the crew of dragon hunters, blue eyes wide with pupils dilating every few seconds.

A gargled mew left the dragon's mouth, the noise echoing to the point where it reached the ears of the hunters below. A few heads whipped up, trying to find the source of the sound. But a certain pair of eyes seemed to already be latched onto the two invisible forces. "Uh oh, looks like we've been caught." Even as the words were said, a ghost of a grin was gracing the girl's face.

Once again, a delighted noise escaped the throat of the white-scaled beast, ecstatic at the idea of getting off the hunter's ship and firing down at it. Spreading her wings in a large arch, with a bat of gust the dragon took off to the air, the rider that adorned its back latching onto the small handles weaved onto the saddle.

With a large spiral, the dragon shot straight into the sky, the same whistle lighting up the air as the pair flew out of range of any arrows that might stray their way. The noise caught the attention of all the hunters as they raised their bows, arrows at the ready for the slightest form of life.

“Hold!” Came the yell from Ryker as the whistle hummed out of range. While they waited, Ryker gravitated to one of the large crossbows, the chained coils aiming upwards. When the loud whistle began to register again, a ripple in the skyline caught Ryker's attention. Before he could second-guess himself, he shot the chain forward, yelling “Fire!”

The chain shot forward at a dangerous speed, a startled growl echoing through the sky as the cloak shielding the white dragon slipped forward, the ability gifted by Thor failing the dragon as she and her rider came back into view of the dragon hunters.

A preparatory grin spread across the face of Ryker as he watched the dragon fade back into existence. “Got you now,” He whispered as a storm of arrows shot towards the pair.

They didn’t stay in view for long, a quick blast of flames being shot forward before the dragon dived through them, its rider pressing close to the beast's body, the same force that cast the dragon into oblivion reflecting onto the scales sewn into the rider's armour. Another quick surge of power was fired down at the deck of the ship, stronger than the last shot. The pile of plasma tore through the deck of the ship, black ashes being left behind on the singed deck and a gaping hole. Before a second could pass, the duo were shooting back into the sky, trying to evade the hunters.

“That was a close one, wasn’t it girl?” The dragon rider questioned the lean dragon below her, earning a rumble in return as they flew from sinking boats behind them.

A cranking noise caught the attention of the rider, her head turning back to see what it was.

In a too-late dive, a metallic chain wrapped around the back leg of the white dragon. A shock was sent through the two of them as they began to be pulled back.

“Oh, now it’s personal.”

Raising from the back of her dragon, the invisible cloak fell from the rider's outline. “Keep flying straight. Don’t let them pull you in,” The rider muttered, taking slow steps down the dragon's back as she stepped towards the chain. “I’ll get you free.”

With a leap, the dragon rider pulled her sword to her hands, throwing it over the chain as she began to descend down it.

Ryker waited for her on board, his own sword at the ready as he waited for the dragon rider with a wicked grin on his face.

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i-want-all-the-cookies · 7 months

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I was so excited to read Weak Hero's "epilogue" today that I actually dreamt about it last night. 😅

But in typical dream fashion things weren't quite the same as in real life, and in this case instead of reading the last chapter, I was plopped down in front of a television watching the last episode of the anime. In the show, it was revealed that Donald had faked his death and that he also had a younger sister. They both had auburn hair, and it played a kind of flashback where it showed that Donald was bleaching his hair the whole time and he would also wear contacts to hide his real eye color, which was a deep chocolate brown. (Please remember this was a dream, and I am very well aware that this makes absolutely zero sense in real life lol). And just when it was about to show the reasoning for Donald's actions and what was going on with his sister, I had to stop watching because- again with typical dream nonsense- I was watching the show while inside a haunted house, and someone I was with had pissed off some of the ghost. And I had to abruptly step away from the television to try to calm the ghosties down and to stop them from totally fucking up my dumb friend. AND of course when I finally got back to the show the end credits were rolling, and when I tried to rewind the episode, or find out how I can rewatch it, I couldn't read shit-diddly of what was on the screen 😮‍💨. So I woke up super frustrated but also hopeful that the "epilogue" was going to answer all my questions.

Anyone who's read the "epilogue" by now knows that it, in fact, did NOT answer any of my questions. I personally wouldn't have even called it an epilogue, but more of an author's note. Since that was really what it was. 😒

I am thankful to the creators for their time, energy, and health that went into making this amazing story. I am still incredibly disappointed and dissatisfied with the ending, but I would still take that shit ending if it meant that I got to experience this story in the first place. Because, as stated in a previous post, I do love this story a whole lot more than I hate it.

Plus, my professional levels of delulu can let me pretend that ending never happened. Maybe I can even pretend my dream ending was the official ending, and I can just mentally fill in the blank spots that "dream me" didn't get to watch.

Then there's also always the option of reading fanfics! 😆

Now that I got that out of the way, ya'll know I can't leave without mentioning my fav and sharing the extras tidbits that were given to us.

I'm dying that Jimmy was ALWAYS meant to be the annoying, loud one! 😂

This👆 is 100% what I imagine texting Jimmy would be like. Family, friend or foe, there's no asking, just ordering or demanding 💀

And I'm not gonna forget our last goodbye to the only girls in the series 😥

#Gotta check my bingo card now #I'm pretty sure most squares will remain open 🙃#Weak Hero ending #Weak Hero #Thank You for all the memories ❤️#I still need to finish my own fics as well 🤡

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rhoorl · 9 months

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Week in Review | Sept. 10

Happy Sunday! As I post this, I’m headed to the airport. I’ll be out of town all week for work which means this latest stretch of craziness will be over soon. I’ll be able to breathe a very big sigh of relief by the time I’m back home Friday.

Before I start this week's recap, I wanted to take a moment to say how much fun I've been having over here the last couple of months on this platform. I've met some pretty awesome people - if you ever want to say hi, my inbox is open!

Thank you to everyone who left me such kind comments, reblogs, and messages related to the latest chapter of Working Title. It means so much that anyone reads what I put out there, let alone feels compelled enough to tell me about it. A few of you (you know who you are) brought me nearly to tears this week with your sweet and encouraging words, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have read a lot about the negativity others experience on this site, which breaks my heart, but I’ve been trying to carve out a positive place here...with plenty of thirsty thots to boot (more on that later).

Fics I read this week:

Frankie Morales

Sunsetz by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin - Frankie is a menace in the best possible way 😈 but he also gets the happiness he deserves 🥹

Two great ones from @legendary-pink-dot for those of us deep in the Catfish Pond Bush Pilot and Stages of Growth are both perfection!

Javier Peña

Siempre Te Voy a Querer @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin - Angela brought us a fic about Javi's black shirt last week, and now we get one with the pink shirt! 💕

Just Good Friends and Jeans of a Sexual Nature by @secretelephanttattoo - Cute chemistry, a fluffy Javi, tight jeans, bad puns…I loved both of these!

Joel Miller

Sequins by @trulybetty - A little further down I talk about posts from the week, and Betty whipped this story up from one of said posts. This story is SO good and when you reread it you pick up on small details. I don't want to give much away, but Joel takes advantage of reader wearing a short skirt...

Marcus Pike

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls by @toomanystoriessolittletime - I just can't quit this FBI agent. This has some fluff and smut, the perfect Marcus combo.

Compulsory Reading

These are fics I love and have mentioned in previous weeks and have tried to shout from the rooftops. I highly recommend each and every one of these (some are done and some are still in progress). I'm definitely missing some, but I have plans to do a masterlist of my all-time favorites soon.

Frankie: The Layover by @goodwithcheese / The Pilot and His Girl by @avastrasposts / Just a Number by @linzels-blog / Shared Breaths by @frenchiereading

Javier Peña: Late Night Texts by @mvtthewmurdvck / It’s Never Too Late by @javierpena-inatacvest

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels: The House by @gemmahale

Dieter Bravo: Destiny & Deliverance by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

Mr. Ben: Visiting by @ladamedusoif

Benny Miller/Garrett Hedlund

Thank you to @musings-of-a-rose for recommending Tides & Heat by @dameronscopilot … Good lord this one has it all and Benny is just 🥵 through it all.

Don’t worry, Garrett Hedlund was back on his bullshit this week posting things on his IG like this to distract me. This man is literally Benny and I cannot with him (in the most loving way).

Things I watched:

I caught up on some Real Housewives. If you really want to ever get me going, ask me about housewives. Bravo is one of the few topics I have encyclopedic knowledge about.

I meant to say this a couple of weeks ago, but I’m watching Sons of Anarchy when I can. I’m not as familiar with Charlie Hunnam as an actor and seeing as Will has a bit of a more prominent role in upcoming chapters of Delta Landscaping, I figured I’d watch something else he was in.

I watched Dirt Music with Garrett Hedlund … he has an Australian accent and he plays the guitar in it, I was swooning. The movie also features absolutely stunning shots of Australia.

Pedro rewatches are a given at this point - Narcos was on heavy rotation this week during my WFH days. I do have Prospect on the list to watch soon because I keep seeing so much about Ezra. Maybe I'll watch it sometime this week if anyone wants to watch it and chat?

Fun things from the week:

Last Sunday I went to my first Halloween Horror Nights event at Universal and did all things TLOU. I posted a recap about it and am excited to go again later this month.

Posts from this week:

So, Dieter has been taking up significant real estate in my brain for months now, so I was immediately hooked when I saw this deep dive from @for-a-longlongtime. It was such and interesting read. I want to rewatch the Dieter scenes now knowing the background with the art.

My coworker and I did our little monthly ritual unveiling which Pedro will grace my calendar at work for the next month. Doesn’t he look great?

Feral corner:

Thots ran wild this week thanks to certain GIFs and a convo I had with @trulybetty about who else, that menace Joel. This thread made me feel several emotions. Fire Meets Gasoline gets a permanent reblog anytime I see it. Also, the Casillero del Diablo photos were just too much. And to round out my little feral corner, this post by @morallyinept is just … well, go read it (for science).

Things I'm excited for:

Being done with two big work events that I’ve been planning for months. :)

Fic updates:

I published an update for Working Title this week and hope to have the next Delta Landscaping chapter out by Tuesday! I still have an idea for a Frankie one-shot involving an airplane ride/turbulence - seeing as I’ll be taking some plane trips this week it may get written (as long as my boss doesn’t sit next to me).

I know he won’t see it but I have to shout out Mr Rhoorl who will be handling a toddler and dog on his own while I’m out this week. The last time I was away from my crew was about this same time last year and I was not in a good place - between being away from my daughter for the first time and the hormones associated with ending breastfeeding I was a hot ass mess. But, I’m in a lot better of a mental space these days, so I’m actually looking forward to some time away knowing he’s got it more than handled.

If you read all of this thank you, or if you scrolled to the bottom to confirm I was actually done talking, hey, you made it! Hope you have a great week!

#rhoorl week in review #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal

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phoenixwatchesmovies · 5 months

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2023 Favorites

I'm kinda glad I was keeping track of what I watched, in retrospect, because looking back over my posts this year, I realized I forgot about a lot of stuff. XD After looking over the recaps and excluding rewatches, here's my top ten New Stuff I Watched for 2023:

10. Cabinet Of Curiosities

Bizarre nightmares unfold in eight tales of terror in a visually stunning, spine-tingling horror collection curated by Guillermo del Toro.

If GDT is your guy, give this a watch. Creature features, cursed objects, aliens, you name it. 8/8 tentacled eldritch abominations.

9. Wolf Creek

Three backpackers stranded in the Australian outback are plunged inside a hellish nightmare of insufferable torture by a sadistic psychopathic local.

Holy shit, this was intense. And as I said initially, so mean. If you're into Texas Chainsaw Massacre, try this. I'm into franchise bingo, so I'm going to look into the sequels and TV series. 3/3 heads on a stick.

8. Requiem For A Dream

The drug-induced utopias of four Coney Island people are shattered when their addictions run deep.

I get the feeling this is one of those that hurts so much more on rewatching, so there's that to look forward to. I've also rarely seen movies that do so much harmonizing between the music and the visuals, and it was so satisfying. 4/4 refrigerator jump scares.

7. Evil Dead Rise

A twisted tale of two estranged sisters whose reunion is cut short by the rise of flesh-possessing demons, thrusting them into a primal battle for survival as they face the most nightmarish version of family imaginable.

This was probably the most fun I had with a horror movie all year, TBH. Horror exploring family dynamics will always be a fave, and this brought plenty of fresh stuff to the franchise while also holding onto the core traits. 5/5 Staffenies.

6. Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers embark on an epic quest to retrieve a lost relic, but things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.

This was the most fun I had watching a movie all year, period. If you know nothing about DND, it's a good fantasy movie. If you're a DND nerd, the game mechanics are baked into it. If you're a fan of found families, guess what! 6/6 stealth checks.

5. Cowboy Bebop

A ragtag crew of bounty hunters chases down the galaxy's most dangerous criminals. They'll save the world--for the right price.

I got exactly what I wanted out of this, so haters be damned. The anime is a masterpiece and a classic, but if you're not in the mood for the existentialism and other heavier themes, here ya go. 3/3 shower-bath-showers.

4. The Black Phone

After being abducted by a child killer and locked in a soundproof basement, a 13-year-old boy starts receiving calls on a disconnected phone from the killer's previous victims.

Near perfect, as far as I'm concerned. The older I get, the more kids-in-danger as a concept fucks with me, making this the most stressful movie I watched this year (though It Chapter One gave it a run for its money, and I still think they would make a great double feature). 5/5 black balloons.

3. Evil Dead (2013)

Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods.

It's gnarly. It's badass. I almost puked. I had THE BEST time. The story works as an effective allegory, the effects are gruesomely awesome, and the finale is metal af. Plain and simple. 70,000/70,000 gallons of fake blood.

2. The Crow

A man brutally murdered comes back to life as an undead avenger of his and his fiancée's murder.

Beautiful, sad, aesthetic for days, hella good soundtrack. *chef kiss* I still haven't seen The Batman, but they seem visually similar, so if you like that, you'll probably like this. For more in-depth thoughts, read my post. 1/1 epic rooftop guitar solos.

1. The Fall Of The House Of Usher

To secure their fortune (and future) two ruthless siblings build a family dynasty that begins to crumble when their heirs mysteriously die, one by one.

Not just a new favorite Mike Flanagan. A new favorite in general, and my number one for the year. I just screamed about this one last month, and I don't have anything more to add. I've seen Succession comparisons, and while I have no idea how accurate that is, there's my "if you like that, here's this." Holy crap. 7/7 deadly sins personified.

Happy New Year! 🥂

#yearly round up #watch a thon 2023 #tfothou #the crow 1994 #evil dead 2013 #the black phone #cowboy bebop netflix #dnd honor among thieves #evil dead rise #requiem for a dream #wolf creek #guillermo del toro's cabinet of curiosities

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aihoshiino · 2 months

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different anon! but i 100% upvote other anon's comment of you being the professor of hoshino-aiology 😎👍 your posts about her give me a newfound appreciation for her and imo you should be the one writing 15 year lie frfr 🤧👏✨️

and if you haven't written anything abt it, could you share your thoughts abt the spica ai chapter? i liked ai and saitou in it but i was shocked at how intense the b-komachi bullying was :0 poor ai 😢

THANK YOU ANON…….. god can you imagine what this manga would be like if i had been given that kind of creative control. you're going to read my 15 volume hoshino ai backstory flashback and you're going to love every single chapter of it!!!

When it comes to Spica, I have pretty mixed feelings on that first chapter. For transparency's sake, I broadly dislike the novel overall and I think it takes away from the relationships it depicts more than it adds. Like I mentioned in a previous ask, my issue with Spica (and its depiction of OnK's world and characters) is its tendency to flatten and simplify many of the interesting interpersonal wrinkles that characterize these central dynamics in the main story. This is much more evident in the GRSR chapters (as outlined in that post) but you can absolutely see it in Ai's chapter as well.

POST-WRITING CLAIRE EDIT: So while this post initially started as me broadly skimming some of the issues I had with chapter 1, it has ballooned into a much, MUCH longer essay about what it is about Spica that I disliked and why, broadly, I think it fails to work both as a standalone piece and as an addition to OnK as a canon. I'm pretty negative about the book in this post and very critical of the writing so if you really liked Spica and it would bum you out to see me take it apart, feel free to skip this post.

On the surface, Ai and Saitou's dynamic is pretty true to the main story and I will admit that I do enjoy their rapport in this chapter and just that we got a chapter focusing on this relationship full stop. Ai and Saitou's relationship is one I've always been particularly soft for and getting a whole chapter that was basically just exploring its early days was really nice. But it's also a very rose tinted view of that relationship in a way I think does it a bit of a disservice. I discussed this in my OnK anime rewatch but Spica's take on Saitou (and thus on his relationship with Ai) frames him as a wholly positive and supportive figure whose desires for money and success in the entertainment industry are explicitly, textually said to be secondary and unimportant to his uncomplicated kind desire to support them as they succeed. There's almost this sense of "wow, isn't it so noble and cool that saitou is kindly allowing these tweenage girls to work themselves ragged making money for his company!!!" that's a bit icky to read.

This is in line with the bizarre ways Spica portrays idol culture, in particular the 'oshi'/fan dynamic. This is another thing I've discussed before, so I'll borrow my previous words on the topic:

The Japanese text of [chapter 137] takes this dehumanization a step further: Rather than the wasei-eigo term アイドル (aidoru), when calling [Ai] an idol, Gotanda uses the word 偶像 (guzou) - an idol by its original definition. It goes beyond just reducing her to an animal - it’s objectification in the very literal sense. Ai is an idol, a ceremonial object of worship, an inanimate vessel for the dirty desires of the people around her. [...] Spica [...] depicts the moment that Ai starts down this road, committing herself to being an idol who will love and support everyone, even people who hate and scorn her. This is framed by the novel as being something of a breakthrough for her and being liberating for it but I came out of it feeling deeply unsettled in a way I don’t think the novel wanted me to be. [...] Spica depicts the moment that Ai goes from アイドル to 偶像 without seeming to realise that’s what it’s doing and thus does so in a way that is not just uncritical but wholly celebratory. In a lot of ways, this makes sense - Spica, broadly speaking, is about the “oshi” part of Oshi no Ko: the emotional fulfillment of not just receiving support but in the act of giving support yourself, in cheering someone on and seeing them succeed. Spica depicts these sorts of relationships in a straightforwardly and uncritically positive light, even in cases of parasocial relationships between fans and celebrities.

There was a lot on that topic that I left out just because that chapter review was already getting so fucking long and unhinged but Spica's entirely uncritical and celebratory view of idol culture in general always leaves me feeling deeply uncomfortable every time I engage with the text. There's a degree to which this can be excused, because Spica takes place in the POV of characters who have drunk the industry kool-aid and thus would not necessarily interpret some of this stuff with the same critical lens as a reader. A charitable interpretation of the material is that, like Viewpoint B and 45510, the story is choosing to refrain from commenting on these troubling elements for the purposes of allowing the reader to have their own take on it.

This would be nice… except it's just not how Spica handles emotional beats at all!

When talking about Spica in the past I have jokingly referred to it as being written like 'the emotional equivalent of the Superdictionary' and by that I mean that it has absolutely no restraint or subtlety when it wants you to Feel Something. When Spica has an emotional beat, it hammers it in until any organically resulting resonance with the material has been reduced to a fine paste. When it has Thoughts and Opinions about a topic, it will explain them to the reader in excruciating detail so there is no risk of the reader taking away anything that wasn't intended by the author.

My point is that there is every indication that Spica's straightforwardly celebratory portrayal of idol culture and the way fans respond to idols is something intended to be taken at face value with no further interrogation. Spica is, by and large, entirely uninterested in acknowledging the ugly underbelly of exploitation, dehumanization and misogyny that drives idol culture and idol fandom.

I think the best way to illustrate this is to look at the scene near the end of the chapter where Ai finally sits and reads her fan letters. The first two are genuinely warm and sweet but the third always jumps out at me in a way I don't think was intended by the author;

“Hello, Ai-chan. I'm a devoted listener to your streams. B-Komachi's songs and talk shows have honestly become my sanctuary. I'm currently stuck working to the bone at a terrible company. They hardly pay me anything, and every day I just want to die. But what keeps me going is knowing I have your streams to look forward to every week. I’m not even kidding. Ai-chan, you're my reason to live!"

The story does not for a second pause to linger on this letter but I want you to stop and really take it in. While we know nothing about this letter's author outside of what's written here, but given that they have a job they can be presumed to be an adult. In addition, the final line of the letter in Japanese is 『アイちゃんは俺の生きる希望！』, using the masculine first person pronoun 俺 (ore), implicitly gendering the writer as a man.

An adult man writes to Ai to traumadump on her uninvited about his suicidal ideation and telling her in no uncertain terms that she is the sole, singular reason he is alive. Ai is a twelve year old girl.

Spica frames this as an entirely good, wholesome and affirming moment for her. It's one of many similar moments where Spica's celebration of idol culture clashes so strongly with the main story's that trying to make them tonally cohere is almost impossible. In fact, mild tangent, but I was working with the Spica TL team on chapter 1 right around the time chapter 137 dropped, and reading the ending of this chapter back to back with 137's tearing down of Ai's exploitation at the hands of the idol industry was some real injury-worse-than-whiplash inducing shit.

To be clear, I don't need Oshi no Ko to have a huge UM ACKSHULLY THIS IS WHY THIS IS BAD!!!! digression every time characters have positive interactions with the concept of idols. It is fundamentally dishonest and lacking in nuance to portray idolhood as something entirely and unrelentingly negative or to act like idols hate every single second they spend as idols. Sarina and Gorou's POV chapters do a very good job of highlighting what I talked about earlier - Spica's ruminations on the 'oshi' part of Oshi no Ko and how a relationship of support can be emotionally fulfilling both for the person being supported and the person unreservedly providing it. But that's purely from a fan perspective and I think it would be really interesting to Spica to take the opportunity afforded to it by being in Ai's POV to properly interrogate what Ai enjoys about being an idol.

But the way it chooses to do so just feels atonal both with Ai's arc and relationship to idolhood as portrayed in the main story and ways the manga has talked about 'oshi' culture in chapters published before and after Spica's release. It clashes with Oshi no Ko in ways I find difficult to satisfyingly reconcile.

This sense of clashing with and contradicting Oshi no Ko is an issue Spica has more broadly, in big and small ways. Some of this is just small, incidental details but other issues are larger and added all together, it results in a sense that Spica was not written by a person fully keyed into Oshi no Ko's world and characters. Like, just off the top of my head, here's some things that stuck out to me just from chapter 1:

Ai notes that she was separated from her mother a long time prior to the story's timeframe but given the ages give for her in 131 and here in Spica, it cannot be more than three years max since she was removed from Ayumi's care.

B-Komachi's formation and Ai's joining the group are both said to have happened 'three months ago' as of chapter 1's timeframe and thus to have happened more or less at the same time. This contradicts the Akasaka written material that consistently frames Ai as being one of the senior members, yes, but as having joined the group after Nino, Takamine and Watanabe.

The portrayal of Ai's bullying by the other B-Komachi members in no way matches Nino's account of it in 45510. This isn't even in a way you can put to Nino being an unreliable narrator. The details are so different that the only way to reconcile them is to assume these are two separate instances of bullying and that Nino just. Didn't mention the first time it happened for no reason.

On the subject of the bullies, the two girls targeting Ai are implied by their physical descriptions to be Takamine and Mei. While we don't really know anything about Mei yet, the vicious and unapologetic hostility Takamine displays clashes with her 'tough love' roughness that we are shown in the main story. In addition, this contradicts 45510's very explicit statement that Ai's bully was IMMEDIATELY fired from B-Komachi, no questions asked, the instant Saitou knew who she was. There is no indication in Spica that Ai's bullies so much as get a slap on the wrist for their behaviour.

Spica attributes B-Komachi's current success almost entirely to Ai and portrays her as working very hard on set and communicating with every other member of staff almost excessively to the point of annoyance. Not only does this contradict the early manga's portrayal of Ai as being antisocial and uncommunicative on set prior to her being sent to Lala Lie, it also contradicts chapters that were released following Spica that explicitly credit Nino as the key figure for B-Komachi's initial boom of success and states that Ai joined the group after Nino had cemented their popularity.

There are absolutely ways that you can handwave these contradictions and sew up the internal logic but to me, the nature of these contradictions matter to me less than the fact that they exist in the first place. This implies, especially given that some of these are in material written by Akasaka after Spica was published that he and Tanaka were, to some degree, not on the same page about the book's material.

There's some other things scattered about that aren't necessarily direct textual contradictions but nevertheless feel really out of step with OnK's takes on these characters. And like… I have tried to be relatively measured and good faith in my critiques so far but there is a part of chapter one that makes me so just bees buzzing around in my brain flames on the side of my face blood boiling in my veins insane that you must allow me to just uncharitably tear into it.

[Ai:] “Ah, now I get it. Are you buying a gift for your girlfriend, President? You like them young, after all…“ Finally, it clicked. The president, being considerably older than his girlfriend, needed the insights of a girl closer to her age in order to pick out the perfect gift. If that was the case, that explained why Ai had been roped into this. [Ai:] “Well, not that I should be getting into your business or anything, but…President, be careful when you mess with underage girls, okay? Nowadays, you’ll seriously end up in jail.”

I'M SORRY. WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING RIGHT NOW. SHE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This moment actually makes me so angry that it is difficult for me to clearly and calmly articulate what I find objectionable about it. I understand that it sounds very dramatic, but this is the first in a very consistent line of Spica bringing up the idea of adult men engaging in romance and/or sex with underage girls with this blithe, jokey and dismissive tone that entirely undermines everything Oshi no Ko itself says about CSA. The fact that it starts off this trend by putting these words in the mouth of Ai, WHO IS HERSELF A FUCKING CSA VICTIM, and treats the entire exchange as a throwaway joke honestly makes me feel a little bit sick.

This is part of a much broader and more troubling trend in Spica of Hajime Tanaka simply not being able to write young women in a naturalistic and human way. It's difficult for me to express exactly what it is that feels so off other than to say that it's Covered In The Fucking Ooze in a way typical of Men Who Can't Write Women. Ai's bullies in chapter 1 are so cartoonishly and stereotypically catty and mean that they barely feel human and they are written with all the distinct individuality as Thing 1 and Thing 2. The more complicated, two-sided conflict between two flawed people as seen in Ai and Nino's relationship is totally absent here. It's just the most vapid, stereotypical depiction of Teenage Girl Bullying you can imagine.

On top of that, there is a consistency with which Tanaka puts the topic of sex into the mouths and minds of these young women that fees… icky and offputting to me in a way I find difficult to articulate. In general, the voices of these young girls feel off and inauthentic in a way the main series never struggles with. For all I've criticized Oshi no Ko for in the past, something I think Akasaka is consistently and surprisingly good at is writing female characters who feel just as distinctly well realized and fleshed out as his male characters and that he does so in a way that does not rely on completely degendering them - their experiences as women are important to and inform that their characterization but does not entirely rule it. Despite overwhelmingly centering girls as the heart of its narrative, Spica barely feels capable of writing them as people.

All this together gives Spica this really strong sense - to me - of not really fitting in with the spirit of Oshi no Ko as a story. It's not just that the narrative voice is different but that there is an underlying flavour to Spica's takes on this world and its characters that clashes with the original. The cast as a whole just feels off, not blatantly OOC in a way you can directly point to but just enough to feel uncanny and give me a THEY WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!!!!! moment for almost every single person with a speaking line. It feels, as I put it on the Oshi no Brainrot server, like a thing that exists not because there was a part of the OnK narrative that worked best as a light novel but because somebody, somewhere thought a Oshi no Ko light novel would make some money and decided to have one churned out.

oh my god anon I'm so sorry lmfao you did not ask for this GIGANTIC ODYSSEY OF A POST!! This was just one of those asks that tapped into a topic I had already been having extensive conversations with myself about in my brain (I have a very boring job with a lot of time spent alone lol) and the more I typed, the more of those thoughts spilled out. I think a big part of why I am so compelled (derogatory) by Spica's missteps and mishandling of its material is that there is so much potential here and so many points where the material really comes close to just being flat out good.

A moment in chapter 1 that I think about a lot is Ai thinking about why she hasn't been reading any of her fan letters - because the last letter she got was her mom's lawyer telling her that Ayumi had gone missing after her release from custody, thus confirming for Ai that she had been abandoned to the system by her. Because of her association between those emotions and the act of reading a letter, she simply can't bring herself to open any of her fan letters because of the lingering anxiety.

Not only is this an entirely human and believable traumabrained anxiety kid fear for her to have but it's totally in line with Ai's flaw of avoidance and unwillingness to engage with or confront things that make her anxious or uncomfortable. It's also paid off wonderfully and in spades when she does finally confront that fear and is rewarded for it by an avalanche of love and support from her fans. It's one of the few moments in Ai's chapter where I think Spica really does well in conveying what a person like Ai gets out of being the 'oshi' in the oshi/fan relationship.

But this otherwise great moment is ruined by like… all that shit I said up there lmao. Spica is just laced through with this issue where moments that come so, so close to working and being really good are just marred by other issues in the text around it or trip themselves up in other ways. It's frustrating both because it comes so close to doing fresh and interesting things with the characters and because… I didn't want to dislike Spica! I was so, SO excited for it to come out and so willing to give it the BOTD even as summaries leaked and I was put off by the plot beats. But the more time I give to it in my brain and the more I try to engage with it in good faith, the more I come away frustrated and feeling like my time has been wasted.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk asks #meta essays #onk spica #onk spoilers

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la-galaxie-langblr · 1 year

Text

Language Goals May-December 2023

Time for some late language goals, I finally have 5 seconds to breathe sldbskdjskdhsl

French 🇫🇷

Achieve an A in my A-Level

Finish B1-B2 Coursera course

Read at least 2 of the following:

> L'Étranger

> Le Petit Prince

> Bilingual short story collection

> Bilingual magazine

Write (in rough order of difficulty):

500 words about a personal subject (could be my day, my week, a memory, aspirations etc)

A 500 word review of a piece of media

A 500 word persuasive essay

A 500 word informative article

5 drabbles (100 words of fiction)

500 words of poetry, and I'm giving myself the extra challenge of only using French poem styles, not the English ones I'm familiar with

This is going to be the most challenging aspect of my French goals because I haven't written creatively since my Wattpad era at 13/14, but it's something I want to try again!!

Watch 3 short-form and 2 long-form videos from ARTE

Be able to hold a 15 minute spoken conversation in French (if any fellow French learners want to practice together then lmk!! I have Discord :D)

Irish 🇮🇪

Written language: At least 4 units of my new textbook, Enjoy Irish

Spoken language:

> Rewatch some Now You're Talking and put previous notes into Anki

> Listen to a Speaking Irish episode at least once a week

Dabble Languages 🇨🇳🇳🇱🇧🇷🇷🇺

The flags listed are my 'main' dabble languages, but who knows, I may pick up something completely new or actually be within 10 feet of my German workbook sldhslhdksdhs

These aren't really goals, more just a reminder of what resources I have available to practice the languages if I feel like it.

Mandarin 🇨🇳

Continue with HSK 1 course

Check out Coffee Break Chinese

Dutch 🇳🇱

Review previous Anki vocab and complete 1 new chapter in my workbook

Brazilian Portuguese 🇧🇷

Find good resources and start using them

Russian 🇷🇺

Written language: 1 chapter of workbook

Spoken language: listen to Russian Made Easy

#langblr #language goals #2023 goals #galaxiegoals #goal setting #french #irish #chinese #russian #brazilian portuguese #dutch

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elialys · 5 months

Note

I'm rewatching Fringe and rereading some of your stories recently. In Time is GREAT!!! And I wonder what's your initial plan for this fic, like have you ever thought about the chapters ahead of the previous ones? To me Polivia having a boy in all timelines is fun for imagination (as I firmly believe that after s5 they're gonna have a second child named Charlie)

That makes me so happy! Literally no one ever reads In Time because it's more or less hidden on ff.net 😂😭 Someday I might edit it and post what I have of it on AO3 just so it's archived there, especially since I think it does help anyone getting traumatized by In Reverse whoops. Writing them having another baby who actually survived birth sure helped me back then!

I had SO MUCH PLANNED for that fic, too, beyond where I stopped (I think Nathan was about 1 year old in the last chapter I wrote). Basically things were about to get super angsty again because I'm an angst!whore who can't control herself. Here goes:

(adding a read!more because not everyone wants to read my angsty musings 😂)

But yeah, I was planning on their son slowly developing Peter's infamous illness from when he was a kid, and Olivia slowly dying too because she would be using her cortexiphan ability & bond with him to 'take' his illness and keep him alive, while Peter slowly lost his shit over not being able to stop her from doing it & not being able to come up with a cure for his son.

EXCEPT that I wouldn't have killed anyone this time, because Peter would have managed to contact his biological father (Walternate was on that side when the other universe was destroyed), who was the only person who made a working cure for Peter back in 1985. Walternate would eventually agree to help him save Nathan, after realizing he was actually responsible for baby Elizabeth being stillborn, as a result of Olivia getting injected with Altliv's genes when he kidnapped her & tortured her, which led her to have some version of VPE like Altliv, resulting in her baby's death. Which I always knew was the cause of her death by the way, I just never got around to explaining it in In Reverse, because I thought I would get to it in In Time

Once Nathan was cured, Walternate would also have started working with the Fringe division to start healing their world instead of killing it, and it would have been as close to a happily ever after as I could make it.

#when i say i plan all my WIPs from start to finish i mean it #i would have caused so many more tears #mine included #who knows i might finish it someday???#if 2023 proved anything is that i can and i will finish super old fringe fics of mine #writing #In Time

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ryuichirou · 6 months

Text

Replies

Back with more replies! I’ll try to answer some of the shorter ones today… most of them are related to either my previous replies or drawings, but there are also some related to ships in general.

Anonymous asked:

I know y'all have already been spoiled on quite a bit related to book 7, but I hope this won't ruin it any when you decide to go through it. You already know this, but Toboso Yana's storytelling is very high quality and FUN :) fans are focusing on major plot points right now, but even the little details and the way that plot points are presented are very important for the experience!!

Yeah, some of the spoilers are unavoidable, but I’m sure there are a lot of things we still have no idea about, and we’re definitely going to enjoy them tremendously once we’re at that point~ I love how you pointed out that Toboso’s writing is FUN, and I agree with you completely. There is so much to dive into and think about in her stories, not just the major plot points. We’re super looking forward to checking all of it out. This is actually one of the reasons we want to wait until the book 7 is done and we’ve rewatched all of the previous chapters.

Thank you for your understanding <3

Anonymous asked:

eels got some cake <3

(this one and the next one are related to this drawing)

Hehe, they doooo~ big bois

hipsterteller asked:

I saw the new fanart and asked Who did they kill?

Honestly just some guy they needed to take care of~ or a bunch of guys. The negotiations don’t always go as planned…

Anonymous asked:

Personally, i always saw Floyd as a virgin because who in their right mind would want to sleep with him?! (I'm so sorry, Floyd, simps).

Everyone is scared of him, and for a good reason, I mean LOOK at HIM!!

(this one and the next one are related to this post)

Floyd really is terrifying, and people do try to avoid him, and for a good reason indeed! But at the same time Floyd seems to be quite charming and popular?? I don’t know how exactly to describe it, I guess Floyd is the hell ride that you know for sure will kill you, but you can’t help but get drawn to it. Plus Floyd is good at capturing his prey lol

artfulhero-m asked:

I just read those first time headcanons, Sebek x Idia? I didn't even realize that was a ship, what's the context behind it? Also how much do you ship it cause now I need to know more about what you think about the ship lol.

Oh we ship them quite strongly~ They’re kind of one of our favourite dynamics: a strict and rules-obsessed loud musclebrain + a snarky cynical little troll who is physically weak but know exactly what to say to get on the first guy’s nerves. It’s very specific I know lol

These two got to interact during the Glorious Masquerade and the Harveston events! I feel like every time they interact they end up pissing each other off, because Sebek really doesn’t like Idia’s attitude (he’s WHINY and he’s UNWORTHY he just CAN’T HAVE the same position as MALLEUS!) and Idia gets defensive and starts making fun of Sebek for being loud, self-righteous and not very smart.

We have a whole tag with replies and drawings of them, and even one hc post. So if you haven’t seen it, feel free to check it out!

Anonymous asked:

Catching up on old asks and realizing that I am a little pervert who’d like to see the (genderswapped) cast in their underwear bc they are too pretty (and also because I am thinking that Epel’s whole bra closet is all cute apple themes)

(this one is related to this post)

Awww, Epel really would have cute apple-themed underwear! I haven’t thought much about patterns and designs for all the girls, but I would really love to draw all of them one day… I’ll draw some if we’re lucky 💪😔

I’m very happy you like the idea and enjoyed the post!

Anonymous asked:

TBH the condom post was kinda funny. I like how it basically boils down to: Yea, they all mostly know they should be wearing them, but they're all a bunch of kinky fucks so no one really does

Thank you, Anon!! I’m glad you find it funny lol

They really are a bunch of kinky fucks… they shouldn’t be allowed to have sex at all :(

Anonymous asked:

Hello fuck boy

If I’m not mistaken, we got this ask just after posting the Judar sketch yesterday…

And if it’s not directed at him, then oh hi! :3

Anonymous asked:

have u played bg3

Nope, we haven’t.

Anonymous asked:

Have you guys seen or played through Death Plate on itch. io?

It's a nice small RPG game and I am absolutely obsessed with it

We haven’t seen it, but it looks quite interesting!

Thank you for your recommendation, Anon <3

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Okay weird ship take: Riddle and Ortho

It’s a fun one! We aren’t super into it, but their interactions during the Halloween event were pretty sweet. Ortho seems to understand how Riddle’s psyche work surprisingly nicely + I really want them to hang around at some puzzle/quest thing lol

Anonymous asked:

Ooohh, Seberollo sounds real fun! Maybe Rollo would try to get Sebek to embrace his magicless human side. I think that if he knew about his father's circumstances, he would feel the same pitying concern that he showed when Yuu told him that they got used to all the magic nonsense. Of course, this would only annoy Sebek more and more.

Or maybe they could bond over their shared distrust of goats. Curse you, twst fandom, for getting me invested in all these cool rarepairs!

You made such a good point, Anon; Sebek really is special in a way! He could stay as magicless as his dad, but he acts so loud and obnoxious about being a fae and worshipping Malleus Draconia of all people… he’s clearly misguided. But I feel like even if Rollo had this idea of making Sebek reconsider his own identity and being, he would change his mind the moment he sees Sebek again. He is so… so insufferable, it’s not worth it….

They could bond over their distrust of goats though, it would be so funny and almost cute. That one goat has made two mortal enemies lol

Anonymous asked:

Vil being Idia's inlaw? Yeah, this is worst than their time in school.

MUCH worse. I feel like even if Vil wasn’t Idia’s inlaw, he would still be surprisingly present in his and Ortho’s life, but if they’re legit family? Be ready for nagging, Idia, he WILL make your life better whether you want it or not.

Anonymous asked:

Ace and Riddle would have the most fucking embarassing crushes on each other thinking they're good at hiding it... NEWS FLASH ASSHOLES. EVERYONE KNOWS. WE KNEW SINCE DAY ONE.

I know right, they’re SO OBVIOUS IT’S ALMOST PAINFUL TO WATCH. LIKE OUCH.

And they would be in denial for so long…

nopekido asked:

Floyd x Riddle headcannon that after having hard, rough smex, Riddle’s ass would be in a lot of pain and he’d have to use something as a walking stick just so he could be able to walk properly. He’d be all shaky and would have his hair be all messed up. He would be able to stand (let alone walk) properly for days (weeks if Floyd’s in heat)

Oh poor Riddle… I feel like I say it every time, but THIS is what his mother meant when she told him not to hang out with other kids! OF COURSE he would get stuck with some horrible bandit whose dick is way too big for Riddle’s tiny butt-

#replies

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mondaychildsworld · 1 year

Text

I know the end - Joel x Reader

Previous chapter / Next chapter

Part One / ?

Rating: M

Word Count: 3.7K

Chapter summary: reader unexpectedly finds herself face to face with and old friend. That friend turns out to be Joel. He unwillingly accepts to help her, only to find that the situation escalates and they have to flee to survive.

Warnings: canon-typical violence, mention of drugs, swearing, gun violence, death of a character, blood and injuries, arguments and some angst.

A/N: Hiii. I'm well aware that nobody will ever read this, I guess. Other than myself, lol. So I don't know why I even write this note. Well, I've fallen down the Pedro Pascal rabbit hole and I'm currently rewatching the whole series with my boyfriend. I guess I felt a little inspired, and I have lots of time to kill right now so it's been nice to get into writing a bit. I have always enjoyed writing, but this is my first ever fanfiction, and english is not my first language so please be kind to me. Also I've only watched the TV-show and haven't played the game so I'm sorry if I get something wrong. Enjoy! ✨

November 14th 2023

You slowly put one foot in front of the other. You’ve been out in the woods for a couple of hours now. The strap of your rifle cuts uncomfortably into your shoulder. It’s cold and you barely feel your toes anymore. But that’s not your biggest problem right now. You gaze up towards the sky, the morning sun fights its way through the clouds. It’s so quiet.

Suddenly you hear the sound of wings flutter in the distance. After a couple of seconds you see the birds fleeing whatever scared them off. You follow them with your gaze, and then drop it to the location they came from.

You freeze for a second. Only moving your eyes, keeping every muscle in your body as still as possible. In the far distance between a couple of trees, you see something. You start to move, as slowly and quietly as you can. You reach for the rifle on your back the moment you see the little rabbit minding its own business. Totally unaware of your intentions.

It’s not a big rabbit, but you need it. It will definitely not solve your problem. But it’s food for another day.

You make your way through the snow, between the birch trees until you’re close enough to get a good aim. The forest is mostly white, with the occasional black pattern on the birches. This makes you vulnerable, you have nowhere to hide. But the same goes for the rabbit.

You aim your weapon. Take a deep breath. Exhaling as you reach for the trigger. You let a couple of seconds pass. Just as you’re about to pull the trigger there’a a snapping sound of a twig breaking and the rabbit runs away.

“Oh fuck.” you quietly say to yourself as you lower the rifle.

Only to look up to see a man. With another rifle pointing at you. The same second that you see him, your body goes rigid and you grab the rifle once again.

“What do you want?” you ask the man. “Go after the rabbit for all you want, just leave me be.”

The man stays quiet. It’s hard to tell what he looks like from here. All you can see is a muted brown jacket, dark jeans and some silver strands in his dark hair. Behind him is a small elevation of some boulders covered in snow. Behind you, an open landscape scattered with the pale trees. There’s no chance you can outrun him here. There’s no place to hide behind the birches.

“Why are you out here?” the man asks and you let out a sigh. He seems to be very much living and breathing. But you just have to ask.

“Are you infected?”

“What the, no…” the man says. “Do I look infected to you?”

“No.” you simply answer.

“Well aren’t you smart.” the man says and sighs and shifts his rifle a little.

That’s when you see him. You know this man, you’ve seen him before. But you’re so far from home, or whatever you can call home. You shouldn't recognize someone out here. This is far away from everything you’ve ever known. You lower your rifle.

“Back to my question,” he continues. “Why are you-”

But you cut him off. You do recognize this man.

“Joel?”

He freezes for a second. But slowly relaxes and lowers his gun.

“What?” he says. The man looking at you is definitely Joel. You know him. You know him from Boston QZ.

“Joel, do you remember me?” you say. “From the QZ.”

He squints at you and lets a few seconds pass until he says your name. You nod.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s a long story…” you start. Not wanting to share too much.

“Doesn’t we all have a long story.” he mumbles and starts walking towards you as he puts his rifle on his back.

You feel like you know him. But you actually don’t. He’s never been too much of a talker. He’s not the one who shares his story. Not that you really had done that either. But you knew him. From your everyday life. And you knew Tess. Better than you ever knew Joel, anyway.

It’s not like you knew him from before. At the time around the outbreak you were living in Chicago with your sister. And you believe Joel was from Texas… right? This just proves how much you know about the man in front of you. Back then there were only you and your sister doing what you're supposed to do in your mid twenties. You used to share an apartment, working in different bars and restaurants while your sister studied for her bachelor in economics.

Your thoughts about your sister reminds you of where you are standing now, and why.

“I, uhm, actually,” you start. “My sister-”

But that’s how far you get until you get distracted. A tiny head pops up behind one of the boulders behind Joel. He realizes you put your focus somewhere else and turns around.

“Ellie!” he scolds, while a young girl climbs up on the boulder, looking down at you two. “No, I told you to stay back!”

“Well, if you weren’t taking all day talking to her I might’ve had the patie-”

“No.” Joel cuts her off. “That’s not how things work here and you know it.”

He frowns and looks back at you. It looks like Joel contemplates his options for a moment before he speaks again.

“Well, this is Ellie.” he sighs and you can see the frustration in his eyes. You can only guess that it wasn’t by choice he got stuck with a teenage girl.

You smile and tell the girl your name. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Enough with the pleasantries.” Joel mutters.

“Does she come with us now?” Ellie asks. “Because you two do know each other. I'm not fucking stupid.”

You and Joel both stay silent as you watch Ellie climb down the small boulder covered in snow. The sunshine has reached its way through the clouds now, making the snow glimmer as you watch the girl's feet reach the frozen ground.

Joel looks at you once more. Studying your face, probably looking for any reason at all to just leave you here as you were, all alone. The sun makes the gray strands in his hair shine like silver and you can’t help but notice the scar on his temple. You have seen it before, but it always made you wonder.

“There’s a lot of raiders out here.” he just simply says, looking a bit concerned. But that expression quickly changes for a more determined one. “But we can’t just pick up strays along the way, Ellie. No offense."

His gaze shifts between you and Ellie for a moment. You decide to try. There must be some sort of fate of bumping into a friend, or even just an acquaintance in the forest somewhere in Nebraska… or? That was also one of your problems. You didn't quite know where you were, exactly. You and your sister had been going north for a while, after you finally reunited in Oklahoma after some time apart. And now you were kind of stuck somewhere in Nebraska. Your plan was to go through Kansas City and make your way up to Chicago. But early on you met a group fleeing Kansas City, claiming there was nothing other than hell in that direction. You never got the details about the situation, other than some stuff about infected crawling up from the underground. So both you and your sister decided you heard enough to change your route and plans. That was before she got injured.

So, you decide to try. “Please don’t leave me.” you stutter out.

That just sounded pathetic. Great. Your voice sounded more fragile than you imagined it would. But the thought of your sister almost brought tears into your eyes. You quickly swallowed and brushed away a strand of hair from your face. You try again.

“I mean, please, I don’t really know where we are,” you say, your voice more steady now. “We have nothing, Julie is injured and alone right now. If you leave-”

“Julie?” Joel asks, furrowing his brows.

“My sister.”

He nods and sighs once again.

“Where are you heading?” he asks.

“Originally, to Chicago-” you start but get disrupted once more.

“Well we’re not going that way so I guess this is where we say our goodbyes.” Joel says and turns to Ellie. “Let’s go.”

Joel grabs her arm and starts to walk away from you. But the teenage girl shrugs him off.

“You’re just gonna leave her? You dick.” She says. Joel stops and looks at her for a moment.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna leave her. I have enough cargo as it is.” he says in a sour tone. “She’s a grown woman and can clearly handle herself.”

You don’t feel like there’s anything left to say. You know there’s no point in arguing with Joel. And this teenager he’s traveling with for whatever reason, even referring to her as ‘cargo’, just makes you roll your eyes. You tried. He said no. He doesn’t want to listen anymore. You don’t have time for just standing here listening to them bicker about what to do.

The strap of the rifle cuts into your shoulder once again. You’re reminded of why you’re out here and decide to return to your sister. As you turn around to silently walk away with a sigh you’re surprised as you hear steps following your way. In the corner of your eye you see the teenage girl appearing to your left side.

“It won’t hurt to be a little helpful sometimes.” she mutters back to the heavier steps right behind you. Joels steps. This little teenage girl apparently got him to, perhaps, do something for another human. And getting nothing in reward. You smile a little to yourself.

“Thank you.” you say, and make eye contact with the teenager. Ellie shyly smiles back as the three of you make your way zigzag through the white forest.

Julie whines as you gently remove the bandage around her thigh. You can see in her eyes that it hurts a lot. She’s pale and dull under the sweat on her face. This isn’t just your usual gun wound to stitch up and go about your day. You know the injury got infected. You have no knowledge in medicine, you could say. You knew your pills, unfortunately. But you were far from a nurse. And you had run out of your small stash a long time ago, so you couldn’t even ease her pain.

“It’s just a gun wound?” Joel asks. “Are you sure she’s not bitten anywhere? Not infected?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking sure.” you tell him. “Unless raiders shoot cordyceps bullets.”

“Not funny.” Julie whispers from where she lays under you on the floor.

You reach for your bottle of water and try to rinse the wound. Julie cries out and the sound echoes in the empty waiting hall.

Who would've guessed there would be an actual train station in the middle of the woods. The brick building is old and taken over by nature. It’s not big, but it’s enough shelter from the snow. Some of the windows are broken so some snow has reached inside despite the thick walls.

“I’m gonna let Joel take a look at you.” you try to assure your sister. “It’s all fine, I know him from the Boston QZ, he’ll help you.” you nod to your sister, stroking her cheek feeling her hot skin.

“Right?” you say as you stand up next to Joel. His expression says something completely else though. The big red spot on the light gray stone floor should also tell you something about the outcome of this. But you’re determined that this will not be the end. The end is not near.

“I mean…” Joel sighs as he kneels on the floor next to Julie. You give him a stern look and he lowers his gaze to the wound. “Sure, we’ll see what we can do.”

You’ve cut open your sister's jeans to easily access the wound. It’s too cold to take any clothes off here. But your sister is sweating and quietly rambles something through the shivers. You force yourself to turn around. This is not the end. You squeeze your eyes shut. You’ve been in each other's lives since the day you were born. Having a twin has been both a curse and a blessing. You don’t look a lot like each other though. Your parents always joked that they got one kid each. Julie always had a slender build, brown, wavy hair and a face full of freckles. Just like your mom. And you were a spitting image of your dad. Blonde, straight hair with more of an athletic build.

As you hear Julie whimper and cry out once again you force yourself to open your eyes. On the other side of the train station sits Ellie on one of the old benches. She swings her legs back and forth with a troubled look on her face. Above of her is the rest of what used to be an old timetable for the train station. If the old sign hadn’t been spray painted over with graffiti, you might’ve gotten a name of the station and could figure out where the hell you were. Now it was covered in paint, dust and mold, making it impossible to read.

“Just stay still and rest, Julie” you hear Joel say. “It’s going to be just fine.”

You turn around to Joel while he rises to his feet again. Struggling a little bit on the way. This makes him look even older. It looks like his back may hurt, and it makes his movements stiff. He mouths something to you and you assume it’s somewhere along the lines of ‘let’s talk’, and gestures for you to step outside.

You take a deep breath and head towards the big wooden door towards the tracks, pushing it open, blinded by the immediate light from the winter sun. Joel is just a couple of steps behind you. In front of you stands the carriages of an old abandoned train.

“Don’t go anywhere and don’t touch anything.” he tells Ellie before he shuts the door behind you. He turns and looks you straight into your eyes. “Look, I’m no doctor or anything.”

You know where this is going. You clench your teeth together and avoid his eyes. Your gaze lands on your feet covered by your thick black boots. No. No, this is not it. You hear Joel's voice saying your name. It sends a shiver down your spine. He sounds serious. You look up once more, your frightened gaze meeting his eyes.

“I’m sorry, honestly.” he says softly. “As I said, I don’t really know any medical stuff. But I know when it’s too late.”

His words feels like a punch to your stomach. The world spins and you feel a bit nauseous. This was not how it was supposed to end. You just got back together. You try to blink away the burning feeling behind your eyelids.

“No, no.” You quietly answer. It’s like you can’t access your vocabulary anymore. There’s so much you want to say but your mind is just blank. A panicked blank with only denial. You close your eyes and all you see is your sister, very much alive.

Joel starts saying something but you can’t really put the words together as the world spins. Suddenly the doors open, and you immediately try to get back to reality. Ellie’s face peeps out, looking stressed.

“There’s someone on the other side!” Ellie says, frightened. “I heard some voices, and saw three men when I looked through the window.”

“Fuck.” Joel mumbles and looks around worried, and starts shoving Ellie towards the old train behind you. “Get on the train and hide!”

You start to panic.

“But, Julie is-” you start, but a large hand grabs you by the shoulder and shoves you back into the train. You flinch as your back collides with the metal and look up only to see Joel staring down at you.

“I tried to tell you nicely,” he hisses towards you, clenching his teeth together. “She’s gone.”

He lets go of his grip on your shoulder and looks you up and down while he slowly walks backwards grabbing his rifle. He didn’t lie when he said that there could be raiders around here.

“Train – now.” he says once more and you angrily make your way into the carriage as he walks to the corner of the house, trying to get a look of who you’re dealing with.

You shake your head while you grab your own rifle from behind. As you make your way through the carriage something grabs your ankle. You squirm and let out a small scream. Taking a few steps back pointing your rifle down, ready to fire – you’re met with the eyes of the teenage girl you know nothing more of than her name. She hushes at you and puts her finger up towards her lips.

You’re relieved it's her, hunched down between the train seats, and not an infected left behind in the train.

“I could’ve shot you!” you whisper as you quickly hunch down next to her.

“Hide.” she just whispers back. “This way they won’t see you through the windows.”

You focus on your breathing. It’s quiet outside, but all you hear is the beat of your own heart and the blood rushing, making the silence unbearable.

After just a couple of minutes that feels like seconds and hours at the same time, you hear a gunshot. You both twitch a bit at the sound. Looking nervously around but you don’t see anything. The voices of men can be heard in the distance and more gunshots are fired, closer this time. You start moving away to get further away in the carriage. You and Ellie crawl on the dirty train floor, dusty and covered in ice. You look back at the kid behind you, her red hoodie sticking up from inside of the green worn out jacket. She’s not really dressed for this weather.

You hear gunshots again and hear the pained screams of a man. You pull Ellie closer and put your head down. Quickly squeezing the two of you behind another pair of seats. Breathing shakily, feeling Ellie’s fast heartbeats under your arm as you’re hugging her close.

There’s a creak of a carriage door. You feel the weight of the train shift a bit as someone enters the train. Fuck. There’s no place to run. You’re staying hidden right where you are, as long as the one who just entered the train decides to walk the other way.

But of course that’s none of your luck, you think, as you slowly move your head a bit to make eye contact with Ellie.

“Do you have a gun?” you ask quietly, and she nods.

You take a deep breath and squeeze your eyes together in fear. The steps are getting closer.

“Stay down.” you whisper to Ellie as you reach for the trigger of your rifle and stand up. You look at the person who just entered the train through your aim.

“Stay back!” you fiercely say as the person puts their hands up slowly over their head.

“Hey, it’s me!” Joel whispers. “Get down! I told you to hide!”

You just started to realize who you had in front of you at the same moment as you hear a woman cry out in the distance. You freeze and all you hear is the cries… of your sister.

“No, no, no. Please, I don’t have anything- plea- please don’t-” you hear her beg loudly. Your head snaps to your side, through the train window and at the big wooden door that separates you from Julie. You start walking determined towards the exit of the train, try to squeeze past Joel as you hear your sister scream out. But he grabs your wrist, holding you back.

“Let me go!” you yell at him.

“It’s been too late for a long time now and you know it.” he snaps back.

The screams of your sister goes silent as you hear one last gunshot. The world is not spinning anymore. It feels like the floor of the train gives in underneath you. You fall endlessly into a pitch black hole as you scream. The only thing holding you up the Joels firm grip of your wrist.

“Up Ellie!” Joel instructs as he shows you further away in the wagon, your legs failing to walk. Ellie gets up and takes the lead, opening the door into the next wagon.

“Move.” Joel says aggressively and pushes you forward. You feel nauseous as you start to put one foot in front of the other. He mumbles right behind your ear, “If you don’t get yourself together and move your feet I’ll leave you here for the raiders to find.”

You take a deep breath and look up and sees Ellie’s worried face hold the door open for the two of you. As you take a step into the other carriage you wipe away your tears from your cheek. Behind you is the sound of Joel loading his gun. You keep on walking determined to get to the end of the train. You hear the gunshot when Joel pulls the trigger, but this time you don’t flinch. You’re feeling numb. You hear one of the windows of the train shatter as the bullet pierces through, and a loud thud of a body falling to the ground outside. But you don’t care, you don’t feel. You just move.

“We need to leave,” Joel explains to you and Ellie. “There’s more coming, and by the time they get here we need to be gone.”

As you get to the end of the train Ellie opens the door, peeks outside and checks in both directions before she jumps outside, closely followed by you and Joel.

Your feet hit the frozen ground. Usually, your knees would protest in some kind of way. You’re not a twenty-something anymore, and haven’t been in a long time. But you don’t feel anything. The sun is blinding, almost making the white snow unbearable to look at.

As you start running away from the train, from the station and your sister you gaze up to the sky. This was not supposed to be the end, you think as you make your way alongside the old tracks.

#i know the end #joel x reader #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x you #fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic

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corduroyserpent · 7 months

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Tag someone you want to know better

i was tagged by @kukuandkookie 🥰💕

Favorite color: light pink!

Last song: Partner in Crime by Madilyn Mei

youtube

Last movie: The Creator (i went in without having seen a trailer or anything and found it very enjoyable!)

youtube

Currently watching: uhhhh i just finished s2 of loki (😖) and i'm still watching various star wars shows (😖 and 🥰)

oh! i'm rewatching scumbag system too because i love it

Other stuff I've watched this year: oh gosh let me think 🤔

Stardust

The Dragon Prince S5

Centaurworld (twice!)

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

Black Friday and Nerdy Prudes Must Die (AS YOU ALL KNOW!! I'M BEING REALLY ANNOYING ABOUT IT 😂)

Various TGCF episodes, just for fun, it wasn't a full rewatch

Chainsaw Man

One Piece Live Action

Love Between Fairy and Devil

Till the End of the Moon

and more stuff but i really can't remember it all asdfghjkl

Shows I dropped this year/didn't finish: i haven't dropped any shows but there are ones i'm taking forever to finish watching. i've dropped a fair amount of books this year though

Currently reading:

Scum Villain (again. yes. when am i not?)

still working my way thru the original thrawn trilogy (BRING BACK MARA JADE YOU COWARDS!!!)

i started a reread of TGCF but then i accidentally reread all of MDZS instead...oops

i'll count One Piece as "currently reading" since i've been caught up for years and read the new chapters when they come out (anyone else cry over 1098 this morning?)

The Vampire Lestat

Currently working on:

the baby zzl fic (always always always)

bingqiu star wars au (it was supposed to be a one-shot but it's really gotten away from me, so i'm gonna have to split it into multiple parts!!)

a zhushen....nesting.......thing..........

a couple of wen ning/zhuzhi-lang fics

a follow-up to the six balls/zhuzhi-lang thing (nearly shared a wip of this last wednesday but then i got shy)

various hualian wips (these are on and off)

an outline for a mdzs multichapter fic that i'm thinking about writing

aaaaaand my novel (whaaat who said that....)

Current Obsession:

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE!! YOU GUYS WANT TO WATCH IT SOOOO BADLY LOOK LOOK LOOK I'LL LINK IT OKAY I'LL PUT IT RIGHT HERE (i recommend watching the previous hatchetverse musicals – The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals and Black Friday – first to get the full experience, but you do you!)

youtube

also still obsessed with SVSSS obviously

and i got back into MDZS too so that's been fun!

Tagging: uhhh how about @squeeegs and @monroeknoxwrites and @goatpunch2 and anyone else who wants to do it! BUT LIKE NO PRESSURE <3

#thanks for the tag kuku!#tag meme #long post #Youtube

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sayakxmi · 5 months

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[Magi rewatch] Episode 7: His Name Is Sinbad [Part 1]

Oh, yeah, it was definitely the right call. I already feel less exhausted having to watch this. Should've done this from the beginning, but, well, a Pole is smart after a mistake, not before it.

Me for, like, half of this goddamn year. Hot as balls. For how long, actually? October or November. Jesus. I think October, cuz November/December I was on-and-off sick. What a fucking time to be alive.

The characters tend to look kinda eh at times, but man, are the backgrounds cool.

A bunch of characters nobody cares about, but in the manga they thought they'd be able to get people to join them in Balbadd, but here they're just. Going there, I guess.

He does look good.

Also SQUIRREL. And a BIRD

She looks good in here.

"You don't have to thank either of us! Alibaba did it, because he's a kind person!" Like, you're completely right, but also gets me how much Aladdin trusts and believes in Alibaba. And, the thing is, he isn't wrong to do so - Magi can kind of read people's Rukh, so Aladdin gets the kind of person Alibaba is on instinct. Still, F.

Also, gfdi, why does it all look so pretty. The colors get me, too.

What a character introduction. What a legend.

It kind of reminds me. You guys know, Magi is like one of the series that's the dearest to my heart. One of the few. Which is why I get so critical of it. And it's hilarious when I think about the fact, that this AMV is the reason I watched it in the first place. I'm not kidding.

"Why are you freaking out? :("

Also, gdi. Magi rewired sth in my brain, and whenever I hear Daisuke Ono I immediately think about Sinbad, it'll never stop. Did you know Jing Yuan from Honkai: Star Rail has Daisuke Ono as VA? And Wriothesley from Genshin Impact. I'm still processing that, lol. Other one I'll always recognize bc of Magi is Kaji Yuki (Alibaba). Funnily enough, he voices one of my fav Pokemon character - Clemont. Imagine my surprise. Man, maybe I do have a type.

I love low quality Magi.

He looks normal in the anime. Kinda nostalgic, good. Also, the wording seems to be a bit different, but mostly the sentiment remains.

Agh, look how excited he is to meet another adventurer! You get it, mister, you get it!

What if Aladdin became Sinbad's Magi, hmm.

There's some yt channel that posts Kimetsu no Yaiba videos, what ifs, and then offers like three scenarios. Lastly it was what if Muzan was a Demon Slayer. Can't help but think abt it whenever I consider some what if.

She smelled Hakuryuu's cooking.

It really looks nice. From afar.

Huh, in the anime they don't mention how various races mingle here.

Paper money. Something that Sinbad notices. Good characterization moment + good hint at what the porblem might be. Neat.

Reminded me abt one of the fics that I'm writing. These goddamn towers. Two fics, actually. Though one of them is just recalling the events from the other.

Anyway, back to the ep, I do think it's cool. Lots of show don't tell.

Yeah. In the previous arc we've heard that Balbadd wasn't doing well, and now we get to see it.

Down with the monarchy.

This entire scene is still hilarious.

"We're going to have to help him out, Masrur." "Damn."

I love Ja'far. What a pro.

Since I had to delete it from the chapter post bc of the photo limit. Here. Morgiana & Masrur noticing each other.

The Sinbad experience.

Pffff

The sound he makes, lmao. "Ahhhhh". He's so not getting paid enough to deal with this bs.

Also, sad: we don't have Masrur helping him :/ That was such a nice moment : (

White eyes. You killed him, Sinbad. You killed your future husband.

"You're Sinbad, the King of Sindria!"

#saya's magi rewatch #ja'far #sinbad

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 5 months

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My rewatch of Hilda season 3

It has been an hour since I finished my rewatch of season 3. And what's amazing, I finished it about 4 minutes before it struck 12 am in my area. if you don't count the extra credits after the original or something. It was 11:56 pm when I was looking at my phone.

Anyway, it's also Christmas today. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you who read this. Or if you're a Hilda fan, Happy Sonstansil if you want to say that.

Again, I'm not spoiling anything huge. But I want to mention this information. The fact that Luke Pearson and Andy Coyle said that there were 6 more episodes planned for this season. But it was shortened to 8 episodes. And I agree with many that I would've liked it if was the usual 13 episodes we got like we did with season 1 and 2.

But to be honest with you all. After my rewatch, even with it being shortened than the previous seasons. I legit think season 3 is an excellent season that is brings an emotional closure to the series. I agree with Andy that we were incredibly lucky to have that third season be even made. And while I do think it being short was fine with me. It still saddens me we didn't get more of the extra episodes we should've gotten.

And I'll admit, I'm sorry I didn't get this out right away. But compared to my reaction last time. The first time I finished season 3...I essentially broke down crying. But this time around, I guess you can say I was happier? More so, I was pacing around in the kitchen, thinking about a lot of stuff. Wondering if I should do a retrospective on the series. And that seems like development for me that the first time I finished it, I was heartbroken. But now, I feel like maybe I've accepted it this time around. Unless the feeling returns, but I felt much better this time around.

I will admit, I still did tear up/cry at that "Memory" part and I'm not spoiling that.

Will admit, I'll never forget my experience watching season 3 for the first time. First time watching something is always special. But back to the point, season 3 is still pretty excellent. Everything about it still oozes brilliance with its animation, writing, voice acting, and many other things. Even if some things could've been dealt with better. But I still appreciate the end result.

Also, I legit think Ryan Carlson legit outdid himself this time around. Season 3 probably has the best score in all the series. Also, the sound design is insane because I mentioned this already. I swear, my volume was only at 18. But I swear, it's so loud that I feel like I'm in an IMAX theater. Or simply a movie theater, but I'm going with the IMAX option because dang, the sound design is some powerful stuff.

And to be honest, when I was pacing around. I was really thinking what my favorite season is of this show. And I don't want to choose favorites for some stupid reason because I love them all. Even though I had wondered about picking season 3 because similar to how I feel about season 2. It was so nice to finally get season 3. Seeing all these characters again, but just how this season goes. And I feel like if we had those extra episodes. This season would likely be my favorite.

I also wanted to talk about something concerning the fandom. The ones that were...a bit negative I could say. With opinions I can understand. Mainly the idea some folks didn't like the idea that this season was more serialized than the other two seasons.

To be honest, I heavily disagree with someone's notion that season 3 was underwhelming, forgettable, and disappointing. I felt the opposite because after watching this show for five years. Even with a shorter season. The crew managed to deliver a satisfying final season. And I'll admit, while chapters 3 and 4 were fun and nice in their own right. I actually didn't mind season 3 being more serialized this time around. Especially with what the focus was on.

And there's also parts of the fandom or...I don't want to sound mean. But to the people who have an issue with certain reveals this season. I totally understand if you don't like season 3 for some of the decisions they make in this. How this may...mess up your AU's or something. But these days, I'm usually all for a creator going with their vision of a show or a movie. If this is how Luke Pearson wanted for season 3, then I will respect his decision. And I honestly loved his direction for season 3. Also, I think if we had more episodes, I think maybe things could've been more cleared up. That's what I hoped the other episodes could've been. Maybe episodes on the Marra, Trylla, Erik and whoever else. Mainly epilogues to certain characters we saw in the finale.

It's almost an Owl House season 3 situation. But in other words, I really don't mind teen Hilda. I don't mind Anders, and I don't mind some of the reveals in season 3. And along with the fact what the themes and story they were telling in season 3. I appreciate what they were doing. Even though I question if my opinions should be considered valid because I don't own any of the books or that's a whole other thing.

I want to finish this soon. But I want to mention two things. You know when I said chapter 2 and even chapter 8. I was getting Silent Hill vibes from certain scenes. I didn't say this the first time. But chapter 6, I think saying Resident Evil vibes or so is the best way to describe how scary that episode is.

And you know what? There are certain characters the Hilda fandom hates. Erik, the Committee of Three, Trylla and even Anders. There are some others. But you know...despite my issues with those characters, season 3 introduced I hate. While I could say the Spider-Frog/Frog-Spider, but no despite how I feel about that character.

The Fairy Entity...that is a character that I would straight up become Bayformers Optimus Prime and be like "Time to find out" to this character. If you've watched season 3, or you know personally, you'll understand why I'm saying this. Screw that character, yet I'm likely overreacting.

Anyway, it's been two hours now. I should post this now.

#geekgem rambles #hilda the series

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yandere-monoma · 8 months

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WHOOO KYM 2 COMMENTARY while i stall on working on kym 7

lots to discuss about a chapter literally called 'the exposition' hjgkfsg. if you didnt know, the way ao3 multichap updates works is that you dont necessarily have to title a oneshot chapter but the second you update it, you really get shown the option to title your chapters. so it didnt actually occur to me that i needed names for each one until chapter 2. i believe originally i was going to use a similar system as kyd where every chapter title was a command a la homestuck. however, i wasn't really utilizing the commands in the same way, i didn't really end the previous chapter with one and the plan for the next chapter... technically involves a command but not one i wanted to spoil via the chapter title.

the current naming system came into existence probably 3/4s of the way or more into writing this chapter, once i made the realization that the fic was, in fact, going to be at least five chapters. at this point in time, the plan was the following: the introduction, the exposition, the climax, the ending, the epilogue. this changed even more as time went on and more chapter ideas rudely crammed themselves into my brain, though it helped the structure a lot, because giving me time to fill out the space between exposition and climax made my brain happy HJSKFG

so, moving on, the fun part about chap 2 is that it really establishes the 'narration' as its own living function, something that is vaguely independent of the story rather than just a tool to present the story with, that both voices the author's and the character's thoughts depending on who is grabbing for control. this isn't an aspect i planned when outlining the fic but it's definitely influenced by 1) how much fun i had reading the epilogues and subsequent epilogue flavored fics 2) my desire to find some way to one-up the first chapter despite the topic matter not being nearly as extreme 3) the impulse to add in another experimental element to the story, especially now that the more abstract and poetic style of the first chapter was being removed

it's also incredibly fun to play with, because every time i struggled with describing something or wondered how i could transition from one point to the other, i realized - oh! i can just make the narrator state that very thing. don't know how i'm gonna build up from the end of chap 1 to the narrative goal of chap 2 (rose's mkultra moment)??? let's just get that all out in the open, then! problem SOLVED

it ended up being a hugely fun choice that allowed me to inject some humor into what's otherwise just a big ole pile o' unrelenting angst. it also helped me take myself less seriously, which lent me even more creative freedom than usual, like. GOD. it really helped turn this piece into something so rewarding, it overwhelms me. goddamnit homestuck why do you have to be so good

i just rewatched butterfly effect recently, god. back to the future i've never seen though. time references haha get it cuz his aspect is still time-

speaking of time, this chapter was the first attempt to really try and describe a zeta kid's classpect without coming out and stating it. there's a few interpretations of different phenomena's in homestuck that point out the implication of classpect powers being active before reaching god tier, or even before entering the game (though, usually in a way that is incredibly weak, premature and subtle enough to be missed by the user). one of the strongest examples that i based this chapter on was something the epilogues described: the idea that rose's obsessive writing as a child was based on her light powers feeding her vague visions of her future character arcs and plotlines. i really loved that and wanted a similar sort of plight for dave. i'll go off about what his specific title is at the end of this chapter but it's really fun poking at it now and then

the multiple narrators? seriously??? bit was me realizing i had to add a Multiple Narrators tag on ao3 after this. at this point of writing, i had no idea if i would be visiting anyone else's pov besides dave's, though.

attempt at homestuckian humor GO

™️ jokes are so funny to me for no reason

wink wink hint hint this is one of dave's powers at work, actually!! so, dave egbert actually has a perfect memory. like, there is not a single thing he's ever forgotten in his life, if he's experienced it, he can recollect that knowledge. this power also extends to the imaginary, the subconscious, and the supernatural, ie: in the event that dave experiences any visions of the future, he will retain that information. likewise, he has memories of every dream and nightmare he's ever had. which is fun because considering he's a dersite and also a time player and also dave, he has a lot of them HAHA. more on that later

The two of you had hit it off instantly despite this, like you had known each other your entire lives, like any and every other relationship that had come before it had merely been a warm-up for the monumental connection that would spark instantly between you both. ... You’re pretty convinced she’s your soulmate. If not that, you’re at least assured by the fact that you’re absolutely head over heels in love with her.

sentences i had so much fun writing knowing how badly it's going to mess dave up to learn that they're actually related HA HA

Especially at the start, Rose was mysterious and she was hilarious and she was overwhelming, the brightest thing you’ve ever had the fortune of witnessing.

get it because she's a hero of light get it she's the light of his life because shes a hero of light get it get it she's mysterious because her class mimics its opposite at the beginning of the story so everything about her pre-canon arc clings to void but she!! is bright! like light haha get i- 💥

see, reading sentences like this means i HAVE to at least write enough of their session to let dave both die and kill for his rose, like

also i need to write her killing and dying for him. well. killing for him. well.

killing.

perhaps just killing him. HAHAHA.

it is very fun to think about this because rose honestly just. does not talk about her relationship with dave much outside of mentioning that they're together. her narrative is so focused on the things that she wants the audience to focus on, so this was such a fun chapter to reveal the things she decided isn't important enough to ever let us in on.

like, she is so adamant that bro is the only important person in her life and the only person she loves, but she deeply cares about dave. she feels the same way, that they're connected in this way she can't pinpoint or name. and claiming him is exactly the right way to put it, because i don't think she knows how to acknowledge those emotions in herself, but she knows that she needs him with her always and wants him entrapped in a way where he can't get away from her.

i think rose is just incredibly attracted to what dave represents: safety, normalcy, the mundane, a reprieve from pain, but there are things about him that she just inherently gets. he's an outsider despite how much he attempts to fit in and i think there's something about that she relates to but also wants so badly to destroy and keep for herself.

also, this is a thing that belongs more in hcs than in kym specifically, especially because i imagine this taking place way earlier in their relationship, but bro absolutely knows about her relationship with dave. it isn't a secret. it's a thing that amuses him greatly. i actually imagine she shares a lot of details about him to bro, like allowing him this voyeuristic entertainment because dave isn't a threat to him, not really, and she shares every single one of her belongings with him.

in a perfectly pornographic world the two of them would spitroast the fuck out of him but this is a partially pornographic world that involves a meaningful plotline or whatever 🙄 smh

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

this part was incredibly hard to write. not because it was difficult or emotionally taxing but because i reached this unfortunate impasse i find myself at every now and then while writing a lot of darkfic where i struggle with... it's not exactly the impulse to project, necessarily, more just.... feeling forced through into inevitability of it? or maybe it's the reluctance to use personal experiences vs the knowledge that doing it can benefit your writing (but also can hamper it).

like, very hard to write about a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies without being reminded of the time when you were a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies.

that reluctance is born from a rant i'm definitely not gonna get into unprompted but i'll just say that it definitely complicated things HAHAHA. i've definitely gone through a 'i'm going through a psychotic break and i'm going to ramble out 7835963463 crazy things into this dm window because the person on the other side said i could' phase. i've definitely just. been insane and vomited so many words out and ngl for a second there in the final draft when i was feeling too lazy to get into Stream Of Consciousness mode i was very tempted to dig up an old vent post and copypaste those thoughts in for rose but ultimately i thought that was disingenuous and a betrayal of her character SO

a fun but unexpected surprise was rose sounding far more like herself during her drugged moments of honesty. it's especially fun because even in the future when she doesn't have access to any sort of drugs or contact with bro anymore, i don't think she'll sound this much like rose lalonde either. it's like in her desperate search to find more of her brother, she's really just found a core part of herself that she doesn't have access to in this universe

'Is there a mechanical soul within me?' there is and his name is hal hi hal

it is actually incredibly fun playing with typing quirk punctuation. it's actually a style i utilized a lot in chatroom roleplay groups yeaaaaaaaaaars after homestuck ended, very much inspired by tumblr ventblogging typing styles, crytyping and all that. the idea that someone's mental state can and should be reflected in their typing style, which is something you really only see in canon in a character like gamzee (i cant remember if other trolls drop the quirk in times of duress in canon??? i think karkat drops his as a joke about volume sometimes but that's it). i don't even know if it even really comes across as blatantly as it feels when i write it, but it's so fun to see the consistencies in a way a character types slowly but surely fall apart as they grow unstable

so the way this is designed, it's as if rose had a moment of finally being in touch with the core of herself, with what ultimately makes her rose (complete with proper punctuation), before slowly but surely lapsing back into ro-stri as she loses her punctuation piece by piece, and then ultimately devolving even more as she abandons her capitalization to type in a way that's reminiscent of dave but, more importantly, bro's typing quirk

'I think there are lives inside me/the life inside me is his' is so funny to look at in hindsight. this chapter was halfway finished before the pregnancy plot had even come into being, and this was only ever supposed to be a reference to the identity blurring she's experiencing, and this half-truth, half-delusion about being able to sense everything lil cal has injected into her and her brother. it is so STRANGE to reread it now knowing that it's become foreshadowing to her pregnancy, especially with that next sentiment following it:

'Sometimes I wish it was yours'. again, that idea of being soulmates, being connected with someone permanently. and, again, that idea of codependency, and rose being unable to express or understand love without that need to merge herself with the object of her affection. and again this was befORE the pregnancy plot was a thing so now every time i read this line i sit here hoping people dont interpret it as rose wanting dave's baby HGJFKGSGSG i swear im not into breeding i sWEAR

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭

DAVE IS SO CUTE I ALWAYS DIE REREADING THAT PART HE'S SO CUUUTE

also i struggle so SO much writing comfort scenes especially dialogue meant to comfort someone but this came out so easily. perhaps because it's a futile attempt and i didn't have to worry about the recipient of that comfort actually feeling soothed...? hmmm!

i have nothing to add to the romantic cannibalism confession besides :3c

i don't actually reread this chapter all that often anymore so finding this paragraph was lovely damn shoutout to this sentence that made me choke on my water as i was reading it cuz i was so distracted by how much i didnt remember writing this that i forgot to swallow and my drink just slid down into my lugnshjskdfg

then it is a series of letters in a language you wonder if she’s made up, that is somehow so cohesive in its chaos that you start to doubt even that.

more horrorterror references as if the literal last paragraph wasn't enough HAHA

a very fun part of designing and outlining the killswitch au is deciding who gets what plotline. for example, does rose strider get to go grimdark because she's rose? or does jade lalonde get to go grimdark because she's the lalonde with library access to the grimoire? unlike the characterization formula, there isn't an easy answer to this one. i'm mostly just going with what's more fun narratively and what makes a better and more cohesive storyline for the verse.

either way, though, ro-stri still has a connection with the horrorterrors, simply because she's a dersite and because i love a character that is so utterly doomed that every evil force on the face of the planet wants to take a turn on them. what's better than this... getting psychologically gangbanged by every demon in existence...

DID YOU KNOW I AM SO VERY FOND OF DAVE EGBERT AND HIS LOVELY PAPA WHO LOVES HIM SO MUCH

i am also so very fond of a dave egbert who cries alone in front of his computer cuz his girlfriend makes him so very sad every night like poor baby does Not Sleep and its so cute gjkgs

'its just prose' annoys the shit out of me to see because i wrote a similar line in a published piece of writing a couple of years ago so i can't reread this without being reminded of That hgjfkg

i will never write a strider rap i have the highest respect for any author who can but it'll never be me

their dynamic kills me HJKGFGKGS peak toxic romance right here god i wish i could write even more of it... i need to write more daverose so fucking bad....

a fun line because 1) i rly enjoy dave's half-forced half-genuine emotional voyeurism it's just a rly interesting aspect of his personality to write and 2) it's fun to have a moment with dave e's specific brand of humor since it's not as long-winded as a strider's would be

i rly forgot so much of this chapter HGFKGSGS oh dave... i love you... i love writing you so much...

stream-of-consciousness style writing is really fun like you get taken to so many unexpected places in the process. generally when i go SoC style i tend to have a few goals i want to land and this image, dave watching over rose in derse, was one of the big ones

ALSO THE IRONY OF DAVE CALLING HIMSELF HER PRINCE WHEN SHE IS ACTUALLY THE PRINCE OF THE SESSION HEHEHEHEHE

the lil cal staring contest is also another big one. it's just such a fun image to allude to like goddamnit i wish i could draw. it feels like an image that i can't even really describe properly what i want it to mean because it explains itself and there's not much minutia to pry free, it's just. them. rose inexplicably and perpetually being drowned in this cancerous evil at a rate that not even dave strider got to experience.

lmfao shout out to me explaining his memory power earlier forgetting that i explain it in the chapter HJSKFG

oh well NOW I GET TO ACTUALLY DISCUSS HIS CLASSPECT

so dave egbert issssss....

🥁 [drumroll] 🥁

the MAGE OF TIME!!!!

and changing classpects actually did something incredibly interesting to the story. killswitch never would have worked as a simple homestuck rewrite, because i dont think swapping the guardians is something that can ever be simple. so it didnt make sense to keep their classpects exactly the same, because they wouldn't have the same personalities or the same backgrounds to craft those personalities, or the same issues that were born of their uniquely shitty backgrounds. it also didnt feel as easy as making rose a knight of light and dave an heir of time, etc etc. like, while rose is not insecure in the classic way that knights should be (it can be argued that the 'i am my brother' facade can count towards knighthood... but her role in the story and what it will turn into once she joins the game definitely brands her a prince through and through)

through researching for killswitch i ended up coming to this conclusion about sburb and how i approach classpect and hs narratives in general:

and because of that, it was super easy to reassign everyone based on what they've been turned into through the switch in their roles.

it also made for another easy characterization formula: their aspect represents their 'nature' while their class represents their 'nurture'. so all the zeta kids still belong to the same aspect while their class changes rapidly, though how close or how far it is from their original class really depends on their character

anyway, mage of time is an incredibly fun role that actually breaks the rewrite narrative almost more than rose's classpect does. as the mage of time, dave actually steals the cryptic psychic role from jade and john harley (though, i do have thoughts on that matter, because there is still going to be a benefit for them from having access to prospit, and that plotline will still be involved in some capacity... probably).

and it's a very fun, partially accidental discovery within the au that the zeta kids are all... just a tad more prepared to enter sburb than their predecessors. rose is completely aware of the fact that she's training for something specific and dave... dave knows that the game is coming. he doesn't know the specifics, he doesn't know that it's sburb specifically that will bring them all together, but he knows there's an it, he knows the day he'll meet all his friends in person will be a day for the history books, and he knows that rose is in danger and that he'll be able to help her in a way no one else can.

some mage of time thoughts, many of which inspired and/or describe dave egbert's storyline:

source

the above was probably one of the first interpretations i read and really what solidified him as a mage, my initial thoughts to his classpect and how it interacts with rose's was the following:

and it's just so fun GOD rly hope i get to write in his perspective more in the future

haha yeah if we ever get to it yEAH if i ever get off my ass and actually finish writing this wholeass au which i nEVER WILL CUZ I DONT WANNA WRITE 500K WORDS GODDDD IM NEVER WRITING A HOMESTUCK AU AGAAAAIINNNN

#fic: kill your masters #director's commentary #meta #verse: killswitch #rose strider #dave egbert

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