#I'm kidding but honestly this is very disheartening
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I need to get off reddit. I just found a post, with gorgeous samdoesart style drawings....and the artist has only been drawing for 5 months total...5 months since they started at all
I've been drawing for..over a decade and I don't even think I could draw like that
#rave ramblees#I'm gonna cry I'm just gonna quit#I'm kidding but honestly this is very disheartening#oiugfhhf don't coMpAre YouRsElf to OThErs#but their ability to render and the fucking VOLUME in their art is insane for 5 months#girl at 3 years you should still be making shitty devianart circle tool art stop making the rest of us jealous#...#i guess I can take comfort in knowing that they probably only practiced this specific style and subject matter for those 5 months#this is the type of art where you just KNOW if you told them to draw a dog it would come out looking like shit#they're only drawing styalized portraits i don't even think they'd be able to draw past the shoulders#or realistically since they reacted negatively when given the critique to try realism too#I've really cursed myself to be the jack of all trades master of none#i suppose this will benefit me for commissions in the future ig#instead of being stuck to one specific style or only being able to draw human portraits
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every time i've managed to forget about my upcoming birthday this past week, my phone has unceremoniously reminded me of it.
i don't know who invented this feature ("oh bug! it's your birthday soon!"), but it wasn't there last year and i hate it.
#personal#i am very flippety floppedy about that day#some years i'm like 'yeah ok! lets do sth'#and this year is just one of those where i want to forget about it#i'm at the point where i honestly hope that everyone forgets it this year because i'm just not in the mood to turn 25#i also just don't want to deal with the disappointment that comes from knowing that unless i'm the one planning it#nothing is going to happen. that's my role in the friendgroup. i get people's asses up to plan the birthday parties for the other folks#even then half of them can't be fucking bothered to even look at what we've planned and put forth minimal effort#honestly the past year was just very disheartening#we celebrated everyone's birthday but i was just sad at how little of a shit everyone else gave when it cames to celebrating anyone else#idk IDK why it bothers me so much#i just really love celebrating the people that i love#i realize i'm just adverse to it because i've had many negative experiences with it in the past and such#now it's just something i try to avoid#hightlights from last year though.. surprise bday for Danielsan#that boy was SHOCKED it was so sweet. we had so many people over and i loved seeing him so happy with everyone who showed up#and a 'kid' themed birthday at the behest of and for Kenny (it was awesome- i planned a whole scavenger hunt)#the others were more subdued and just having a nice homely brunch at our place but we always made sure to celebrate#i love these people a lot and they make me feel fuzzy inside#but they're TERRIBLE at planning lmfao
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Just a little rant.. no spoilers
I always think it's really irritating when people try and say Bakugou is irrelevant to the story, like what? Did we read the same thing? Cause Izuku would not have received ofa if it wasn't for Katsuki being the person attacked by slime. Izuku was literally like "oh gee poor guy, I hope a hero with the right quirk shows up, cause All Mights out thanks to me" until he actually looked up and saw that it was his Kacchan being suffocated and it was *no thoughts. head empty.* he fucking sprinted. That wouldn't have happened the way it did if it had been anybody else. It had to be Katsuki or the story would have been completely different because All Might wouldn't have seen Izuku's (seemingly random) act of heroism despite being quirkless and thus never choosing him to be ninth. Katsuki plays such a huge role in the plot of the story and has since the very first page.
It also boggles my mind how quick people are to label Katsuki an irredeemable abuser, and honestly, people who demonize he like that give me the ick. Like, he's just a kid who's so scared of his own emotions and how his friend makes him feel, that he lashes out in the only response he knows how. He's a kid with anger issues, who makes mistakes just like the rest of us. I'm not excusing what he said, cause it was fucked up, but he recognized that it was fucked up and worked hard to apologize to Izuku and make it up to him. Even if Izuku had already forgiven him.
And I really do think Izuku had already forgiven him, because that's who Izuku is. Izuku never victimized himself. He couldn't. Because he wanted to be a hero, just like All Might. And he can't be a hero if he's a victim. That's a double edged mentality to have and it definitely came into play during the vigilante arc. Izuku is the kind of person who breaks himself to help others, he has little to zero self preservation skills mixed with overwhelming kindness and compassion. When Katsuki told him to take a swan dive, his response was essentially "You're an idiot Kacchan, what would you have done if I was the kind of person to take you seriously? Can't be a hero like that, nope!" He really didn't entertain the idea of himself jumping, and instead focused on berating Katsuki's rude and insulting behavior. He didn't like it and doesn't approve of a future pro acting like that, because he still holds no doubt that Katsuki will become a pro hero. Because "Kacchan's amazing".
Izuku and Katsuki's character arcs are so heavily intertwined that you really can't talk about one without mentioning the other. They know each other's habits, behavior, and mannerisms better than anyone else, yet misunderstanding is such a present theme in their relationship. It's so complex that I don't see it as a stereotypical victim×bully ship, it goes so much deeper than that.
In a story about hope, change, and redemption it's disheartening seeing parts of the fandom completely miss the point.
#i have more to say but im tired#bakudeku#bkdk#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#kacchan#deku#katsudeku#greenade#bnha bakudeku
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TW - child neglect, lack of hygiene as result of neglect
I think a lot of spider haters are either A. people who have never experienced neglect, especially physical neglect B. people who have internalized and denied themselves the space to heal/acknowledge their neglect and/or its effects C. neglecters themselves.
I say this because spider shows one of the clearest signs of physical and emotional neglect; lack of hygiene and cleanliness, and its one of the things he is mocked for the most.
now, I'm coming from the perspective of a kid who was neglected in that way, as a person who didn't know you needed to use a wash clothe, how to properly wash their hair, and other 'basic' hygiene knowledge until they were 15 or 16 years old.
spider was clearly not family to the sully's so I find it hard to believe they bathed him or even taught him to bathe. the scientists would most likely expect his 'family' to teach him that, and decided to leave those 'intimate' and 'personal' conversations to them.
children, humans in general, do not have the modern-day standards of hygiene ingrained in them; it is not an instinct, it is learned, it is taught.
so if he has no one who is willing to not only teach him, but show him, he will not have those skills. you can't expect him to have those skills. that's truly and honestly unfair, and so disheartening as someone who has suffered that effect of neglect, to see an entire fandom so keen on making that the butt of their jokes.
then you throw on the fact that he never chose, or at the very least, never made an educated decision (considering we first see his hair locked as a toddler/small child) to have his hair locked. locs need to be cared for in a very specific manner to be kept clean and healthy (and that's on the proper hair type, spider's hair in all honesty, is just matted, and can never properly be cleaned).
so this kid who doesn't even know the basics of hygiene, is now saddled with the responsibility of taking care of locs/glorified mats. of course the kid looks like a wreck, he literally doesn't know how to take care of himself, and mimicking what little you see of proper hygiene doesn't do much for very long.
the poor thing is suffering; I don't know if some of y'all know this, but feeling perpetually dirty, even when trying your best to keep clean, is exhausting and soul-crushing.
that boy has suffered on every level and far too many poke at it like its some joke.
#I need yall to understand that every aspect of spider you make jokes of is almost always a direct tie to his abuse/neglect#spider socorro#miles socorro#miles spider socorro#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#fandom critique#fandom critical#fandom discourse#fandom issue#fandom wank#do better
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I've been meaning to post this for a bit, but, in the (live action) TV shows I often see in the background that my mom watches (shows like hospital shows, drama shows), the amount of interracial couples, even if the characters are very racially/ethnically diverse, is incredibly small. Not only that, but black characters usually end up with black characters, latine ones with latine ones, white ones with white ones, Asian ones with Asian ones....and honestly not much consideration for people who might not fit into those categories, but, if they are in the show, almost always with each other. If there is an interracial couple, it is usually of people with similar skin tones. Seeing a dark-skinned character with a light-skinned character is very rare. And this makes me so, so sad. Normalization of interracial couples has so far to go. As a kid, I truly thought it wasn't something most people cared about. But as I've grown older, I've learned that most families do care, whether on a small or large level, if their child is in an interracial relationship. Much of many societies do. Within any group or community of any race/ethnicity, it is almost always generally frowned upon or completely acceptable to make jokes about those or directly to those in interracial relationships.
In my experience with ("Western") cartoons, interracial couples are far more common, although still not as common as I think they should or could be. But I am very happy about every year they get more prominent. I do not usually watch live action TV shows, so I don't have as much experience with them, but I think it's often common for cartoons to be more recognizably diverse in their characters, ranging from things like sexuality, gender identity, disability, race/ethnicity, and more (although this still is far from where it should and could be).
That's just a really long amount of text to preface a relationship that means a lot to me that has come about recently, and is canon. In Fionna and Cake, we see a gay M/M couple, which is incredibly rare in cartoons (and if it does occur, usually only happens between gay dads, for meaningless background characters, or is immediately sidelined—I can only think of one gay M/M couple in "Western" cartoons that isn't the first two and is then immediately sidelined). Gay men (as in all MLM) are incredibly underrepresented in cartoons (and in general). All forms of queer people are, but gay men are noticeably represented less in comparison to other queer people, especially in cartoons.
Not only are they a gay M/M couple, they are also an interracial couple and one with a very visible difference with their skin tones. Marshall Lee is inarguably a black person, and Gary is presumably a white person. And their relationship is so, so cute and healing. They are truly loving towards each other. They are supportive. They are incredibly relevant to the plot, not sidelined, and are given their time to shine. We get to see a visible, gay male, interracial couple. One of them is even likely bisexual, and the other commonly and easily relatable to autistic people. They are an on-screen couple. They are relevant. This is the first time the part of me that's MLM has actually felt and been represented in a cartoon that didn't make me feel belittled or frustrated. I'm so, so happy from this.
I have seen very few people talk about how genuinely revolutionary this relationship is for the representation of queer men and queer men of color as well as for interracial and interracial queer relationships. In fact, I've seen many QUEER people be frustrated or upset by it, feeling as if it takes away from other queer people and queer relationships in the particular show/series, which is disheartening.
However, rather than focus on the negatives (although I think it's important to examine why those might come about), I want to focus on the positives. This is genuinely such an amazing push in representation on so many levels that we have. And I am so, so happy about it. I can't even express it in words. I hope that there are other people out there who realize just how big of a deal their relationship was. I am genuinely astounded by it. I don't have much more to say, so I'll just end this post with an image of them.
#book of kells#fionna and cake#gumlee#garylee#marshall lee abadeer#marshall lee#gary prince#lgbt#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#interracial love#lgbtq#queer representation#poc representation#<- dont like the phrasing of that but that's what the popular tag is :/#gay men#gay representation#mlm representation#mlm
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More replies~
Anonymous asked:
I know that we put a lot of emphasis on ignoring antis but sometimes there are days where I read one of their comments and get so disheartened and tired. I do try to report and block as many as I can but it's just really difficult to pull through when a majority of them are minors who are calling for us to drop dead or be assaulted or kill ourselves.
Anyway, I'm grateful for you and your art! It really brightens my day, especially when I'm going through it.
It could be tough sometimes, Anon, I get it. You’ve said it well – if anything, it’s tiring. Even if you know for a fact that it’s just some kid trying to hurt you because of their own issues, you (and none of us) shouldn’t be forced to tolerate it just because they didn’t figure their shit out yet. And they sound so deranged sometimes that it becomes obvious that they don’t really understand what they’re saying/implying and they don’t care.
Thank you so much for your support! I am happy it makes you feel better. We’ll do our best to keep posting as long as we’re having fun, and I hope you’ll keep having fun too <3
And don’t forget that whatever they do or say, it’s not really about you – it’s about them trying to earn favor with their lame-ass friends who do the same type of shit, because creating meaningful earnest connections is much more difficult than gathering an angry mob, as well as creating actual content that can make other people happy and helps you to express your love for the media.
Anonymous asked:
What do you think is the reason for the octatrio visiting the Scalding Sands, is it just a business trip? Or maybe Azul is organizing his wedding, and wants to share his happiness with his old friends by inviting them in person! I'm sure that this isn't also one last ditch effort to get Jamil to reconsider their "relationship" (Oh, but he looks so misty-eyed after hearing the news, is that maybe a tear they see?... Ah, wait... He's just yawning...)
Ohhh, of course Jamil wouldn’t be misty eyed over this loss, Idia basically took the bullet for him… Honestly, good riddance, these two deserve each other 😭 The line between the Mafia AU and the Marriage AU is a bit blurred, but I didn’t think it was the case with this particular sketch; THAT BEING SAID, Azul is absolutely going to invite Jamil (alright, Kalim too) in person. He just HAS to see Jamil’s face when he hears that Azul is getting married! (Jamil’s face: completely unimpressed…)
When I was sketching it, I was thinking that it was a business trip; whether he is a mafia man or just an enterpreneur, Azul always has a lot of business in the Scalding Sands. And if they’re there anyway, why not pay a visit to their dear former classmates? <3 Jade and Floyd are always excited for that lol Poor Jamil.
Anonymous asked:
i love your riddle smut (especially the stuff with trey it’s so good <3) but honestly i find any nsfw of riddle a bit funny bc i can imagine him thinking something as innocent as a kiss is how babies are made. take responsibility trey!
You heard them, Trey! Teach Riddle about the birds and bees! But in general I’m sure Trey feels very responsible and probably even guilty, Anon….
Thank you <3 I love drawing Riddle in smutty situation, he is my ultimate sheltered homeschooled kid at his first party lol I really like the contrast of his innocent easily embarrassed self and his deeply hidden desires.
Anonymous asked:
My sister thought Idia was Aoba, at first…
Gotta love them blue-haired twinks with funky boots and huge-ass jackets and headphones and 10 boyfriends one of which is an AI dog…
Anonymous asked:
I think 'Kalim Overblots' plots should take advantage of their surroundings more often. If Kalim is overblotting in Scarabia, there's no reason why the dorm can't turn into Octavinelle 2.0 thanks to Oasis Maker. Especially if the Octa Trio is involved.
Yeah, using the environment is a great way to make a scene way more engaging. I wonder if Kalim could drown his dorm completely by the time he’s all out of magic and filled with blot; it would be interesting to see underwater Scarabia… lots of space for the fishies to swim in…
Anonymous asked:
If Jamil has a best man/woman in his wedding, it would be Najma because while she is annoying to him at least it is better than any of his school mates. Floyd and Ace are too troublesome to take care of. Ruggie will only just busy with the food than being best man. Kalim, if he isn't who he wed, would feel much more troublesome to take care of and wouldn't care if Kalim wanted to be his best man.
I'm sure if Kalim wasn't wed to Jamil, he will be make him his best man. If not, I'm sure Silver, Cater, or Lilia will. Except Silver, I can picture Lilia and Cater fighting for position. Then again, there will be many weddings for Kalim and they took turns.
I can’t even add anything to that, Anon; I haven’t thought about this scenario at all, but everything that you’re saying makes sense. Honestly, this is just another reason for Jamil to never bother with getting married – the thole thing is going to be so fucking annoying lol but I’m all for Najma being a best woman.
I can also picture Kalim saying stuff like “ah don’t worry, I’ll make you my best man next time!”
Anonymous asked:
I have returned from the trenches of forgetting my password and then finding out I had no access to that email anymore. So now I come back bringing some foods for thought in what can be called a part 4 of my shenanigans.
Ruggie is the campus whore, don't know where the idea came from but I feel like he'd sell his body for some quick cash.
Rook x Idia has been inching its way into my brain, I feel like Rook would find him to be a straight up sexual conquest. Idia would be an unsuspecting deer in his eyes and I don't think Rook has much impulse control lmao
Random story time rabbit hole : Your ranking for their levels of whore inspired to give Divus a pretty bastard son because I feel like Divus wouldn't discriminate on gender in his teen age years. Which made me realize Divus is not dad material, and led me to this conclusion after a friend of mine mentioned it; he would probably sleep with his son on purpose or by mistake. If he's the one to raise the kid on the other hand, its more emotional incest. On that note, my pretty boy deserves justice against his daddy (not, he is used to it by now and probably can't function without it lol)
~ The one and only, 🐩 anon
Welcome back, 🐩 anon! I’m glad to see you again :)
Ruggie would definitely sell his body; I think the only reason he would stop is if he gets himself a deal with Leona and has to protect his exclusive rights and all lol Other than that, Ruggie doesn’t see this whole thing as anything other another business.
100% about the Rook/Idia thing, we love thinking about these two, god it’s such a pity I never finished our sketch with these two LOL but it’s exactly like you described: Idia is such a rare unsuspecting deer that’s so skittish and fearful and difficult to catch. At the same time, whenever they interact, if Rook manages to keep Idia around long enough for his initial scare to pass, he seems to know just the right stuff to say to Idia to keep him invested in a conversation. He’s working on it, he’s working on this deer~
Oh god, the Divus-the-dad scenario was the one I wasn’t expecting lol I’m not even sure which one is more cursed (=better); but I feel like Divus sleeping with his bastard son on accident is more plausable, at least at this point in his life. When he gets older, he might get into the emotional incest thing….
Divus and his emotional incest era…
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The HUGEST Front Roe headcanon essay I have made so far! Please feel free to add some comments or thoughts, I have spent hours on this.
ICHIYA / 001NGT
I view Ichiya as an Asian + Latino Inkling, My reasoning for this is that Splatsvile, the reigon that Ichiya grew up in, is Asian coded (also Big Man, one of the idols, is brazillian coded, and Brazil is a Latino country)
I view Ichiya as a trans man because in Front Roe's art, you can sea him wearing some sort of thing on his chest, I like to think that it is a chest binder, it also symbolizes that Ichiya has gone through puberty and is no longer the kid he was back then.
Ikkan was really only close to Ichiya, I could speculate that they were friends, or that Ikkan just wanted to push Ichiya's music potential.
Is Ichiya at fault or Ikkan that Squid Squad disbanded? My theory is that both sides have flaws. Ikkan is distant towards the others who also have potential, with Namida's synth skills and Murasaki's drums. Dismissing their skills as just a fad is a bit disheartening. Along with the fact that Ichiya doesn't know about music theory.
Ichiya is... selfish and stubborn. He's got to be the one on vocals. Ichiya would probably not listen at all to Ikkan's remarks and just dismiss them. And that's what led to the end of Squid Squad.
I imagine that Ichiya is a bit snobby and passive aggressive during Squid Squad. (The Inkopolis virus got to him)
For Front Roe... how did he get Namida and Murasaki on Front Roe? Are they ok good terms? Me, I think they would talk things out as adults.
In the front Roe art, Ichiya is looking up while the others aren't, (and then there's Getta, I don't know where his eyes, if he even has eyes are. He could be staring up or at Ichiya or something)
Looking up could mean making social contact with someone (which is what he's going with Nami and Murasaki) or improving (this note will come back later)
this could mean that Ichiya has some dreams that he wishes to accomplish (haha get it cause dreams? night?)
This is the sad part... Ichiya's childhood is... not good to say the least. I will let you all fill in the gaps.
NAMIDA / 002WSB
Namida is looking down in the Front Roe art, which could indicate that he is either signalling submission or is feeling guilty. I imagine he was the first to be recruited, hence why he's the second.
Ikkan criticized the other members of Squid Squad, saying they were yes men. And being a yes man in a social setting is... not very good.
I draw him with a darker skin tone nowadays because He knows a lot about jazz theory, and jazz originated from black people! It would make a lot more sense, while also adding more diversity, cause Inklings can also be dark skinned.
"Now explain why you made Namida a trans man"
It's in the eyebrows. Namida's Eyebrows look more like the inkling girl's big eyebrow style, but when you look at the Front Roe art, the eyebrows look more like the inkling boy's eyebrows.
MURASAKI / 003SOY
Murasaki has a bit of a learning disability, which could explain why they never got the hang of more advanced drumming until post Squid Squad.
People used to call street kids or poor children on the street, Urchins. Or at least in the USA they did that. Murasaki is an Urchin. See what I'm saying?
In Squid Squad, Murasaki used to get lots of remarks for not being a squid while in a band named squid squad and that made them feel kind of awful.
The reason why they stayed is because drumming is their passion, and because of Ichiya's rockstar charm or something. (ok but what did they sea in Ichiya)
I imagine Murasaki is patting the couch, gesturing Getta to join along with them on the couch, making him feel more welcomed.
Murasaki looks like they're giving Ichiya the side eye, it could be a bit of a sign of irritation, and honestly with Ichiya's record of unhealthy friendships, I am not surprised. (please Nintendo have them talk through their problems I'm going to throw up if they break off)
I imagine that they like the Splatlands more compared to Inkadia/Inkopolis because the Splatlands seem more accepting of other species. (I mean, now you don't have the option of girl/boy, now it's "choose your style")
GETTA GUY / 004CLM
There is a phenomenon where people over time will like the older music of a band more than the newer ones, and that is where some of Getta's haters come from.
The good thing is that Squids forget things easily, so to an outsider they would go "the bassist is cool looking" and then immediately look somewhere else that hooks their attention.
However, with news being a thing in Splatoon, they're... going to remember more often. Oof.
I think that Getta has a bit of a one-sided hatred with Ikkan due to this but it's not really Ikkan's fault that Squid Squad got really popular.
To make things even funnier, Getta's strongest soilders are having massive beef with squid squad fans.
"A 'getta guy' can be a term used to describe someone who seeks out people that recently left a relationship."
Why do they matter?
Well, the break up of Squid Squad happened. And then Getta swooped in as the bassist. (Yes this is where the freaky jokes came from)
"The reason they started over as a masked band might be because they want audiences to look past their popularity and judge them for what they're capable of now."
Their past is something that is possibly going to haunt them for the rest of their lives, but they want people to sea a better, improved side of them. As a kid, I had plenty of unhealthy relationships but It does not define who I am now.
They're all in rough spots, but they still form a band. They're still as colorful as ever.
#front roe#ichiya splatoon#Namida Splatoon#murasaki splatoon#004clm#splatbands#splatoon#kinnie.txt#splatoon headcanon
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I know that I've talked about this before but this really is something that's been bothering me for so long now. Since the beginning of the show almost. I'm really sick of the hate TK has gotten from the start but even more than that, I'm sick of the hurt that this hate has caused people being ignored/invalidated. Since 1x02, there has been a common refrain of "Carlos deserves better than TK" and literally everything TK does (or doesn't do) is used as evidence against him. I'm also really over the people projecting their dissatisfaction over Carlos's arc this season onto TK. Just admit that you don't like the Iris storyline or the kids storyline without projecting onto the characters. Then again, I guess admitting that would mean having to admit that they actually never really even liked Carlos to begin with either and only acted like they did for as long as they could just blame his flaws and mistakes on others rather than acknowledge that he is a complex character in his own right and is allowed to mess up. It's honestly just plain annoying how so many of the people who've spent years ripping TK apart for every little thing suddenly started acting like they were only upset on his behalf this season with the Iris arc or 4x12 only to then revert back to the usual "TK doesn't love Carlos as much as Carlos loves him" refrain after 4x16. If they weren't mocking him for being "overdramatic" for being scared about the possibility of having Huntingtons, they were criticizing his wedding vows for not being good enough. Or they constantly act like any case of compassion towards TK's mistakes or talking about how he deserves love means we're ignoring Carlos. This has been going on since the start.
Now I'm not saying that there weren't people who weren't genuinely upset on TK's behalf this season nor am I saying that the people who were upset in general aren't valid. In my experience the people in the former groups aren't the ones continuously going on about how Carlos has been ruined for a start. What I am saying is that it's actually very easy to tell who was upset on TK's behalf/who had valid reasons for not liking these storylines and who was just upset that Carlos had fallen off the pedestal they'd put him on. Having watched the show since it first started airing, I actually didn't want to engage with the fandom at first because it felt like all I ever saw were people talking about how much TK sucked. And as someone who identifies with him, that really sucked. Obviously I realized that this attitude is not held by the majority but it still doesn't make it any easier to see this attitude floating around constantly. But what makes it even harder is how often I've had people reach out to me because they feel that their hurt over how TK is treated being ignored or even outright mocked. The fact that even Ronen has picked up on this and made comments about how he feels that people need to remember TK's struggles and how it affects his actions speaks volumes. I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just really exhausted and hurt over how much hate I've seen towards TK over the years and how often it feels like that has gotten swept under the rug. There are people in this fandom that actually deal with things like addiction and mental illness and it's been extremely disheartening to me to see how many have had to step back or leave the fandom altogether over the years because they just couldn't deal with seeing a character they see themselves in be torn apart constantly only for people to act like it's not even happening. The truth is that there is a lot of ableism wrapped up in how TK is often talked about in this fandom and honestly that's why I wasn't surprised at how Iris had been treated because if people can act like this towards a main character, what hope could a side character like Iris have? After all, there are people who seriously think that TK should just be able to make his mental health issues go away so that Carlos would never have to worry. And what these people conveniently don't think about is that Carlos loves TK as he is and would never want him to dismiss his struggles.
Again, I know that this isn't the majority and I know that most people do care but I also feel like this is something that doesn't get talked about as much as it should because real people have been and continue to be hurt by it
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something that I feel like is ignored by everyone in the fandom is how lionblaze didn’t even mean to kill russetfur. he was trying to get her of off firestar, who she was killing, and she wouldn’t let go so he pulled harder and she broke. i haven’t read the books in a good few years but I remember that he was horrified. yeah, battling is their whole culture, and cats inevitably die from it, but everyone saw him as a monster for something he didn’t even mean to do. honestly, I feel like he would’ve been justified in scratching flametail up a bit when he walked over the border and started taunting him. medicine cats must also follow the warrior code, which means no trespassing
another thing is that everyone gives him crap for like. imagining himself killing heathertail even though they were definitely intrusive thoughts and he was clearly upset about them. as someone with intrusive thoughts myself it’s pretty disheartening to see people talk about how that makes him an obviously bad person (cat?)
i want people to acknowledge that he’s scared by his own strength, that he’s scared he’ll hurt those he cares about, and that he was very much struggling after accidentally killing russetfur. yes, he’s really not that good of a character, but he still has internal conflicts and a personal story, and after a certain point he just sees himself as a war machine, something to be used for the good of the clan, no matter how he feels about it
ShadowClan's hypocrisy in that battle always frustrated me in general. At various points in TNP, Po3, AND OotS, ShadowClan openly and flagrantly disrespects the code and attacks over this border constantly. Then the minute ThunderClan retaliates at all, suddenly they have to hand-wring about how sad it is that it came down to this
Russetfur can kill whoever she wants but Lionblaze defending his leader? That's just too far I guess. Like what happened to the goddamn Battle Culture? These pansies would never survive a battle for Sunningrocks.
I remember being a kid and wanting this battle for SEVERAL books, and then getting to this battle and... honestly I can't really remember much after it. It probably actually made me ragequit lmao. I definitely did not get to Flametail's death.
Bonefall Lionblaze
Anyway I spoke about the fight from a Bonefall Rewrite lens a couple days ago if you'd like to see that, including how I want Lionblaze to take away how he feels like Bramblestar used him as a war machine, Dovepaw thinks it's ironic he resents the very thing he's doing to her, and also what the political ramifications will be in ThunderClan (mixed but neutral).
In addition this battle is now going to actually be something that Bramblestar could have avoided. Firestar is dead by the end of Po3, so there's no need for false signs anymore. Bramble just throws his weight around; ShadowClan doesn't act like the hypocrites they are in-canon either.
As for Lionblaze, he is getting a full character arc in Po3! The climax of it is during the reworked Tribe Visit, where the Clan cats help to remove Flick's rogues. Lionblaze learns a lesson too well; that the point of strength is to use it to protect others, and the mindset causes him to shove his daughters Ivypool and Dovewing into harm's way.
Though I'm also working out how much of Lionblaze being terrified of his powers is staying, and what it will look like. I think a problem with canon is that so much of it really gets lost... because he DOES become a short-fused, impulsive war machine after OotS.
In-canon he almost mauls Heathertail, DOES maul Crowfeather, kills Russetfur, takes a life from Harestar, and infamously threatens Shadowsight... and only one of these actions was accidental.
In my rewrite I'm actually MASSIVELY mitigating this by removing the mauling and giving that to Hollyleaf... and I'm considering what sort of person he's going to be post-OotS as well, if threatening what is now his GRANDSON (father of dovewing) is actually something Bonefall Lionblaze would do.
But... I do try to hold close to canon. So the question comes down to;
Keep the earlier material where he is grappling with intrusive thoughts, and write a less violent character in future arcs
Eliminate the intrusive thoughts so that his later, current canonical personality isn't bad rep.
I am leaning more heavily towards eliminating the intrusive thoughts, in this situation. I value my portrayals of neurodivergency and I am feeling that the way I plan to write this character (pro-war, assertive, being feared by other Clans) would make for really bad implications if he was also dealing with intrusive thoughts, and not just standard legitimate "oh god i cant control my own strength" thoughts.
I'm still unsure though. Let me know what you think I should do in this situation. I can elaborate if more context is needed.
Canon Lionblaze and bad mental health rep
in-canon, the problem is Lionblaze doesn't just have intrusive thoughts that terrify him and he desperately avoids- he has violent, impulsive actions to match and is a legitimate danger to the people who anger him, before and after losing his powers.
(the 'after' is important because this is not only a result of magic powers)
Squirrel it away under canon's horrible representation of mental illness; the only character that has ever had intrusive thoughts in canon is "holding back impulses" he acts on with increasing frequency. It is a very problematic concept to begin with.
For those who don't know; Intrusive thoughts are unwanted by definition.
An intrusive thought is the worst possible thing your mind can conjure up in that moment and are very upsetting to experience. Whims are not intrusive thoughts. They're common with anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD; and it is extremely rare (and a sign of a BIG problem) that they are ever acted on.
To be clear though... Lionblaze has not had an intrusive thought that we know of since OotS. After worrying that he would hurt Cinderheart, but then cat-marrying her... it seems like they've just gone away.
It could be that we aren't in his POV anymore, or, it could be that they've abandoned this aspect of the character. Considering that TBC Lionblaze has ended up changing into a character that is a lot more violent and impulsive, it seems to be the second option.
#Lionblaze#Warrior Cats Analysis#neurodivergence#intrusive thoughts#mental health#Re: I am not sure what to do with it.#I agree with your sentiment though#I feel like Lionblaze is a super messy character#And it's really easy to go with the person that he IS now since his kill count doubled#and he's now established as a short-tempered authority figure#One that Jayfeather even describes as impulsive#and the unfortunate thing is... they really did not write a very good character when he HAD those thoughts#He was a very standard kind of 'lonely boy YA protag who is scared of his super strength'#the character they are writing now is infinitely more helpful for clan dynamics#even for my rewrite between Fernsong and Flipclaw there's going to be plenty of gentle boys in the Clan#A softer Lionblaze would overlap a lot with them... but a violent Lionblaze stands out in an overall quite gentle clan#I hope this is making sense btw
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What do you think of tdp's rating potentially changing for s6? Personally I'm all for it because I'm on the younger side of the fandom (not a minor but I definitely was when I started the show) and it's nice that the show is growing with me, but I've heard complaints that the increasing darkness doesn't fit well with some of tdp's less mature aspects/humor. One of my favorite artists dropped the show because of it, which is a little disheartening since I thought s5 was absolutely amazing.
Honestly I thought S3 was pushing the lid on Y7 with some of the final ep violence / some elements of the Aaravos-Viren-dark magic body horror, so I think realistically S4 (because of the Ibis scene) and s5 (gestures to - half the season) should absolutely be rated PG. Y7 tv shows tend to get away with a lot more than G-rated films (at least since the mid 2000s I think) so I think that skews stuff as well.
As for the humour, even when it doesn't work for me (personally S1, S5, and S4 have had the best humour for me) it's almost all character based so I give it a pass. Like soo many people acted like the goofiness in S4 or fart jokes were baseless / a personal offense, but 1) Claudia's always had bathroom humour and while it's never been something I found funny, I appreciated it for its character consistency and that a girl gets the gross out humour at all bc we just don't see that a lot, and 2) teens and adolescents make bad jokes all the time. I make fart jokes all the time. I don't really want 'em in my media, but I do think they're funny, and I like that the characters in my media think they're funny because yeah... Bad puns, stupid jokes, being ridiculous with your friends, even or especially in times of crisis - sounds pretty grounded in realism to me.
I think part of the disconnect people have with humour (and less 'mature' humour, which - my favourite Shakespeare joke is the "do you bite your thumb at me sir" from Romeo and Juliet which shows my 'maturity' level when it comes to laughs, lmao) vs the rest of the show is... People outside of the age demographic being unwilling to accept that they're outside of the age demographic. Like drop TDP for any reason you want, of course, but
It's like - I didn't love the episodes in She-ra about "learning how to be a good friend," but I'd be dumb if I genuinely complained about it because this show is For Kids and it's catering to them first and foremost. It's not supposed to cater all parts of itself to my age demographic, nevermind my taste and no art does that, even stuff that is for my age demographic because it's an unrealistic choice to put on media. TDP is a little different since they've gone on record stating that its for Families, so that warrants something a little more 'mature' by proxy (and I very much think the show reflects that) but like - it's for families, and that means reflecting all those elements, too. Including humour (some for adults, some for tweens/teens/etc).
TLDR; emotionally scared because I love all the kiddos but very glad overall about the rating change, cause I'd rather people be warned ahead of time / be able to make informed choices about what they want to watch / consume.
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okay just bear with me for a second here. i do believe that it's honestly naive at best, thoughtlessly harmful at best to try and justify gary. "oh but telemaco, it's just just a videogame character" "oh but he's just a teenager" "oh but he's mentally ill" i know i said bear with me for a reason so here's the thing.
first of all, yes, everything you said is right. he is a fictional character- but i'm leaving that aside because i need this for a later argument; yes, he is a mentally ill teenager. at the end of the day, the entire point of gary's character is what happens when a society neglects its children, leaving them without a proper support system in their developmental years and to what destructive and self-destructive tendencies it can lead. it is disheartening and horrible to see people just claim that he's a crazy piece of shit or whatever else. that is in fact offensive and really fucking ableist.
but! you're also not being a justice paladin by trying and defending him and trying to say that actually he didn't mean what he did and that he was demonized in the game and so forth. like. a: who wasn't demonized among the antagonists, really? i could go lengths about the way each antagonist was depicted in a tendentially negative way. that's because we see the game from jimmy's perspective, so of course also gary in particular would be the most evil one. but really, when you go through gary's character lines and so forth there are a lot of signs of the way his instability brought him there. want me to make examples? "but i never did anything to you" "you would've, if i had given you the chance!" / "you're sad, man!" "i might be sad, but i rule your world, moron!" / the entire scene in the hole where gary believes what he's saying about jimmy. not to mention all the voice lines not in the cutscenes. i'm no therapist so i'm not trying to give diagnoses, but there are signs of heavy paranoia, perhaps even mania? and it's all there, for you, the player, to catch upon. yes, there are players who did not pick them up or just use them to demonize gary- but that is the toxic fanbase, not the game in itself.
b: by dismissing what he did, you are also dismissing all the harm he caused to other kids; jimmy and pete in primis, and the entire rest of the school after. yes, we already asserted gary's motivations. but this doesn't change the fact that he took advantage of pete's lack of confidence to use him as an emotional crutch to have someone who wouldn't betray him by his side, and be able to torment him for his fun. is the halloween costume really vile? yes, but it is coherent. kids who make jokes about nazis exist, there have been episodes in my country of kids being suspended from their school for singing the fascist hymn and whatnot. he took advantage of tad's, johnny's, everyone's insecurities to retort them all against jimmy. that is a thing he did and the actual gear of the game. spoiler for your life: mentally ill kids can cause harm to other kids, and just because they did it because of their mental illness it does not reduce the harm that they did, nor does it excuse them because they're just children. do you think i wasn't traumatized by bullies and classmates just because they were kids too? think again.
c: this is very sensitive of a point and i hope i can let it come across without miscommunication, but. mental illness does not justify hurting others. this is a particularly complicated thing and potentially harmful argument, and it has been used against mentally ill people for such a long time, but the world isn't black and white, but mentally ill people are not inherently good or excusable. by assuming that, one thing that you're doing is basically stripping people of agency because of their mental illness, claiming that they cannot learn hot to reduce harm towards others and themselves because of it. a therapist can be incompetent, and psychiatry as a system can be abusive as hell, but professional help can really help and be needed. two, you're somehow claiming that because you're mentally ill you are allowed not to be careful with other people as well.
i want to ask you a question, sincerely, about this point: how do you think cycles of abuse work? that is, i think, another point of bully as a game. i'll do the example with parents: a kid is abused by their parent, and though they suffer, they don't question the way they were raised. with such trauma, they raise a kid of their own. it might not be the same kind of abuse and it might not be intentional, but, since they didn't do a mental work on what they went through, they might subject their children to a similar abuse. it goes that way until someone is able to challenge that parenting model and work through their trauma and so forth. now that was the easiest example, but. think about it, i'm just saying.
now, to the fictional character thing, and this is another complicated point. because i feel like this absolute need to justify gary for all his actions and clean him of all the hurt he's caused comes from this tendency in social media fandoms of assessing one's morality through the characters and medias they approach. and like, dear. i pinky promise to you, you can like the most morally reprehensible and terrible character of all times and still be a good person, you just need a base of critical thinking. do you think all greek tragedies enjoyers are dangerous and evil freaks?
you don't have to condone everything that is depicted in a media you like or everything a character has done. get rid of this... neo-puritanical mindset, i'm begging you, i promise the fandom experience gets 100x more interesting if you do. and also it is actively harming culture in its entirety, such as people claiming shit like "1984 is a horrible book that glorifies fascism and sexual violence!" as if that wasn't exactly what orwell meant to warn against through that book.
so yeah. tl;dr stop fucking excusing gary for everything he did just on the account of his mental illness, you're doing nobody a favor and you should really rethink your prejudices and probably work a bit on your critical thinking skills
#so there is a very worrying tendency in some parts of this fandom and like. bully is a v complicated game can we please look at it with the#attention and careful analysis it needs. “it's just a videogame” shut up shut the fuck up media doesnt affect reality but the way you appro#approach media analysis does tell something about the way you approach reality can we please not pretend it doesn#i hope i didnt leave out anything. well see if someone comes in my inbox or i find myself in someones block list lmao. if nothing happens i#can rest my case lol#bully#bully scholarship edition#canis canem edit#gary smith
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I got approval from my manager to work 7-3 instead of 9-5 in September and October so I can volunteer coach the high school cross country team. :)
I am really excited to get involved with some kids and hopefully be an adult figure in their lives that they can rely on. I met them a couple weeks ago and they seem like they're a pretty alright group, although their coach and I had a long talk about the state of kids these days and it was honestly a little disheartening. I don't know if I'm the kind of person who can make an impact on a bunch of teenagers, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.
If I'm being totally honest though, the bigger motivation is that I want to work alongside their coach. She was my guidance counselor when I was in school, I've known her since I was little, and I have a very deep appreciation and respect for her. When I became very mentally ill, she took immense care to look after me and support me however she could. She always listened to me, always made time, always tried to guide me with love, in spite of how difficult and frustrating I was to deal with at the time. It was her job, but she went above and beyond in her duties, because that's just the kind of person she is.
Back in May I bumped into her very briefly, for the first time in ten years, at a track meet I randomly attended, and she asked me if I wanted to help her coach in the fall. She laughed as she said it, I laughed in turn, assuming she was joking, and said I could never. And then I didn't stop thinking about it.
So when I ran into her on my way down a mountain two weeks ago and she invited me to hike with her right then and there, I was surprised that she asked me once again if I would help coach. This time she was serious, and said she could really use the assistance. She confided that her health has been declining recently and she's busier than ever and really needs some support because she's bitten off more than she can chew, but there simply haven't been any other volunteers to help with the coaching.
I don't know what other answer I could have given in that moment. She is not the kind of person to collect debts, but I owe her a great deal and it would be wrong to turn away from someone who gave me so much when I was at my worst. I'm at my best now, and every day is better. The least I can do is return what I can to her. It's only right.
And, I just genuinely enjoy her as a person and want to spend time with her. It's been ten years and I miss the close relationship we used to have, and would like to see what kind of relationship we can have now that we are equals and I am no longer a tar pit of negativity.
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So since you’re The Person Anons Go To To Complain About Lego Monkey Kid; I figured I’d get this out of my system while also asking for your two cents.
I don’t think the LMK crew have read JTTW. Best case scenario I think they either got some word of mouth stories and read some wiki articles.
And a lot of this comes down to their characterization of SWK and the way the world treats him.
In the book, SWK has a kingdom of monkey, but they’re YAOGUAI monkeys who are capable of speech, making an army, are enslaved several times, and were straight up referred to as his family multiple times. Meanwhile, the show just… doesn’t acknowledge his subjects? They���re at best represented as regular monkeys who wander around the island, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen SWK or MK interact with them on screen. They’re essentially background dressing.
Then you’ve got the season three episode where SWK has stage fright, which… he never really had any fear of public speaking (even to Buddha himself), and straight up gets into a massive public competition and cuts out his own entrails just to prove another guy isn’t immortal. (Even in their own series, they have confirmed SWK starred in his own movie and did voice acting for a game)
Honestly, I get the vibe that the writers care more about the archetype boxes they can fit SWK into rather then who he really is. The rest of the JTTW crew should still be alive? Well no, we need SWK to be our Hermit Mentor. We’ll just imply they’re all dead (or abandoned him for no reason). Sun Wukong has a family of monkeys? Well we can’t have that! Make them regular monkeys so he’s Truly Alone (and also ignore that he can talk to animals).
Sun Wukong is a king, and has been shown to be incredibly comfortable in his public speaking? Well we can’t have that! Because Macaque is our resident theater kid, and we need them to be Literary Parallels! Nevermind the fact Sun Wukong barely interacted with him in the book, but deeply loved Demon Bull King, and DBK has an actual reason to feel betrayed by him.
I’m not bothered by the changes like Macaque having been his old friend at one point or dead characters being alive or even the choice to not acknowledge SWK’s buddha status (in fact, I enjoy some of these), but it’s… really disheartening to see my favorite character be relegated to Lonely Mentor and Macaque’s Sun. He deserves a lot better then the show is giving him, honestly.
SADFAWEGDFGAD anon that was something I said as a jest but haha wow I guess I'm starting to get a reputation (X_X).
But ANYWAY okay folks you know the drill I sometimes find it fun to be a hater so heads up for that and remember that "don't like, don't read" goes both ways <3.
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But to get to your main gripe anon, now that you've said it I wouldn't be surprised at all if that was the case...like as it is there's already been a number of cases I'm aware of from twitter where members of the LMK crew have put their collective foot in their collective mouth & came across as pretty insulting to Chinese deities for it, & then doubled down with that whole "it's our interpretation uwu" mentality which is, to put it mildly, a kind of shitty thing to do. And in regards to the main monkey himself--and in full acknowledgement of the very blatant hints they've given that there's a lot more going on with lego show Sun Wukong then has been revealed so far, it does at times seem like they're making their version of the Monkey King more in line with the "dumbass monkey who breaks everything" western stereotype than the complex trickster figure you find in the og classic...like of course there are indications that this Sun Wukong may be the one of the more tragic Sun Wukongs out there in that he's been left after the journey with no friends, no companions, no kingdom in any real way, and everyone in the entire world who's met him in person, with a few exceptions, seems to hate his guts. And you could actually refer to Xiyouji itself for explanations on why a lot of that might be: the monkey yaoguai of Mt. Huaguoshan go through centuries of lethal trauma even before the Six Eared Macaque treated them as his personal tools while he was "Sun Wukong," which could have convinced the survivors that the real monkey king had become a wicked tyrant and thus they all ran away in fear; Sun Wukong may have ended up with a case of stage fright from the journey itself because of all the times that Tang Sanzang tortured him for speaking his mind; and Sun Wukong did enrage the entirely of heaven pre-journey before largely becoming an enemy of yaoguai during the journey itself...hell, in the og classic he even starts weeping because after he was banished from the pilgrim group he feels like he has no place he could go :(.
THAT SAID, during the events of Monkie Kid itself Sun Wukong often does come across as a doofus who's doofery gets everyone into serious trouble. Just to give a few examples: him joking around & not focusing during a high-stakes situation is the reason a 4th ring of samadhi was created which got embedded into Bai Longma & eventually into Long Xiaojiao; him lying to Qi Xiaotian & telling him he was going on "vacation" even though he was running around looking desperately for a way to stop the Lady Bone Demon is a major reason she became as powerful as she did; and his entire plan to stop the Lady Bone Demon, massive threat that she is, is presented even by him as flimsy and paper-thin, something made all the worse by the danger the monkie crew was put into in the effort to get the rings & by his refusal to share all the details of it with them until it's too late. And then of course there's the Six Eared Macaque's whole thing where he's violently obsessed with Sun Wukong because they apparently used to be the best of friends before the Monkey King got power hungry, betrayed everyone, and then killed him. So far we haven't gotten so much as a brief flashback that gives Sun Wukong's thoughts about of any of this, so you can see why even if it's not the overarching intent many people would take the message to be "Sun Wukong = sucks." And it's something you see reflected in a lot of the fanart and fanfic around Monkie Kid; practically the only person the Monkey King's ever depicted anymore as being in a good relationship with is Macaque (fandoms tend to hyperfocus on 2 dudes who despise each other but have a more friendly history), many AUs make him an irredeemable selfish asshole, and/or he's being depicted as someone who fully deserves to be yelled at & hated by everyone because of the bullshit he pulled that got everyone hurt. In many ways, LMK Sun Wukong does have numerous similarities to TLJ Luke Skywalker in the way these sequels to their stories made them fail-hermits.
Now of course it must be acknowledged that across the centuries that Sun Wukong has been a popular figure in Chinese culture's he's gone through a TON of different retellings and interpretations. The monkey king has been depicted as everything from a pious and devoted monk to a crude and lecherous yaoguai to a being that is simultaneously monkey, human, yaoguai, and buddha and who is defined above all else by the capacity for great violence, great restraint, and a powerful and active love for those he considers his family. Even so, it is kind of disappointing that even with allowing for the possibility of Monkie Kid still being able to give satisfying answers for why their Sun Wukong acts the way he does, a good part of his lego show portrayal so far has just been him acting like a careless jester with disastrous consequences and, even if he doesn't mean to, hurting one person after another to the point where his actions, even if inadvertently, even if largely against his will, played a big part in helping the Lady Bone Demon almost succeed in her attempt to destroy all of reality.
Like...how do you even try to atone for that?
#monkie kid#monkie kid sun wukong#monkie kid critical#been awhile since i watched the show so i could be getting some stuff wrong#but still#anon answered
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Hello, I'm the anon that spoke about autism, sorry about the asks being so close together, but I just read your response.
I entered the Psychology field to be able to treat patients from a ND's point of view and offer a different brand of understanding and comfort than I've seen myself and a thousand others (especially people who have schizophrenia, Tourette's and DID) be given.
I have a newfound brand of respect for you ( I am clarifying, because text is tricky, that I already respected and quite admired you as it is, it's simply increased) for the response you've provided. Thank you very much.
Autism, even nowadays, has a ton of misconceptions even for professionals who are biased. It is still diagnosed as Asperger's (even though the term has been in disuse and was taking out of the official Psychology term and had the reasoning well explained, due to its disgusting story), and nobody bothers to tell patients about it, or even worse, people don't care enough to know the difference or change their view of it even when told. This, paired with the whole view that Autism is an illness, that vaccines can cause it, and a thousand other misconceptions, make it so even getting a diagnosis becomes detrimental to people getting a job in the future, and so, people become isolated. The way you've immediately pointed out that both children were vastly different even when they were both autistic is heartwarming and it is the reason Autism is an spectrum. Once again, thank you.
Because I have no personal knowledge on your own case, nothing but textbook understanding from my field of study, I won't comment on it, but I agree with you wholeheartedly. Even as someone who does not have to live with it, it is disheartening to have to constantly see, both in cases and in day-to-day life, how any kind of mental illness, neurodivergent, etc, ESPECIALLY Schizophrenia in any capacity, becomes the go-to for shows and movies' killers and bad guys, or is boiled down to either comedic relief and/or something 'quirky'. It seems to never be taken seriously and talked about it maturely, and I despise it. Please, know that at the very least one of your followers is deeply understanding of this and that you should feel free to speak about it without fear of judgement.
You've made a safe space for us, allow us to make a safe space for you too. You're a very kind soul and I wish you the best.
Your writing is wonderful, and you've made me feel incredibly secure and comfortable in reading any other set of headcanons you've made for the rest of the characters (especially Mihawk in this case), because now, thanks to you, I know how they're going to react to my ND and my mind doesn't get to try and be self-detrimental. I know it seems silly, but in a way, you've done something extremely important to change a small part of my life and I sincerely thank you ❤️.
First, please don't feel like you ever have to apologize for asks here, close together or otherwise. I'm always happy to respond when I'm able to.
Second, it's my dream to be able to go into psychology as a profession, for the same reason, to be able to help people with similar problems who are often misdiagnosed and misrepresented.
Third, on autism specifically, the fact that there are STILL people who believe it can be "triggered" by vaccination honestly disgusts me. It's misinformation that leads to people keeping their children from getting protection against potentially deadly illnesses, and as a result potentially exposing other children to said illnesses. Absolute bullshit.
Autism is a fucking mental health disorder. It's not "triggered" by anything. It's also not something to be feared. It's a thing that happens, something that some people are born with and some aren't. The only reason it's more prevalent now than it was in the past, in my opinion, is because neurodivergeant kids in the past were just dismissed as "probelm-children" and given no further attention, so it just wasn't given as much attention in the past. We've come a long way since then, but that ideology does still exist and it frankly disgusts me.
So fourth, I do thank you for your understanding, regarding schizophrenia. There are a lot of people who consider "schizophrenic" synonymous with "psychotic serial killer." Definitely not the case here. As I said in the last post, my main symptoms are auditory hallucinations. Most of my auditory hallucinations revolve around insulting me and making me feel insignificant. It's like there's an army of little goblins that live in my head and exist for the sole sake of second-guessing everything I say and do.
I hate it, but it's what I deal with.
And I don't want anyone else to have to ever deal with that.
I want everyone here to be happy and comfortable.
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[LBP - LBsP 01/26/24] 293 - A Totally Reasonable Response
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So here we are. If this level is to be the last thing i publish for the community, at least it was something i could be really proud of (i realize, typing this, that it wasn't the last thing i published. That was the New Year's level, but that one hardly feels like it counts, since it was only up for five days).
Looking through the drawing board and making-of videos, and it's shocking how much it changed from the initial build. i'm happy wiv the work i did, and most all the gross ideas (that is to say, things like layout, presentation, and obstacles) were mine; but this wouldn't have been nearly the success it was if it hadn't been for the extra eyes and fine tuning suggestions from the community. Particularly chronos453 and @soupum who were invaluable sounding boards and support. It feels nice that this is my level, but it is also very much the Empty Room's level too.
One thing i wanted was for the level to be joyful, wivout being toothless or anodyne? Something to stand up against the common (and unfortunately often, at times at least, true) narrative of "oh woe, queer life is so hard and tragic." i think i managed it, but it's hard to say. It feels joyful to me, but i recognize it is also very much my brand of bullshite.
It seemed to resonate well wiv the queer/ally players who left comments, tho'. Those were all honestly very heartwarming.
It resonated quite differently, but apparently strongly, wiv a couple of bigots too. Those were... weird.
Now, i know that i'm old, and that's honestly ok. i'm not really current wiv how kids talk these days, and that's also ok. But there was something weirdly adult about some of the comments, that felt very different from the way queermisia would have been framed by kids when i was young-young (that framing, mind you, wasn't really better, but it was usually just the slur and an accusation). Which means, either the rhetoric adults are using now has trickled down into schoolyard discourse, or these were actual adults telling an open room of potentially children that, for example, queer folx were like that because they'd been sexually assaulted and decided they'd liked it. Which... you know... that's a real kind of problem. Both options are real problems mind you, but the second worries me a lot more.
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i still wonder if i shouldn't have done Distress in Ocean for this week's LBsP, and this one for next. We've not had any real word on the servers yet, which is unsurprising, but also disheartening. If LBsP as a review-focused thing is ending, it would have been nice to have ended it wiv this level. Ah well. You work wiv what's to hand, and i'd already done most of the recording for this by the time it popped into mind that i had Distress in Ocean to work wiv too.
i've spent the last few days up to my nipples in DLC to archive those, and if i never have to see anything Pirates of the Caribbean again it'll be too soon. i'll probably put up reviews here when all the episodes for the levels from a pack have gone live, but i have feelings.
#littlebigplanet#little big planet#lbp#lbp3#littlebite-sizedplanet#LBsP#queer#queer pride#trans#trans joy#Youtube
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doodled some feelings on a bleed thru sketchbook page (text in alt text)
Congrats to Kalvin Garrah to successfully traumatizing a whole generation of both nonbinary and transmasculine people (is both) cringe culture sucks fuck transmeds
Anyways ramble below
I had a few other times I got misgendered as "he" through my sona art, because they were more masculine and ambiguous on purpose before I accepted I'm trans
I use the word accept because I fought it for a long time, and I was scared of suddenly changing my pronouns and stuff even while most of my friends at the time were literally furry trans girls - one day I bit the bullet and went by she/they and realized how unhappy feminine pronouns made me and so I just said OK Fuck You They Only. Then it evolved as we all know (Speaking of "it" I may throw that in my pronouns pile as well)
And honestly I'm proud now but it's a bit disheartening to look back at how much I suffered, due to the misinfo and queer/trans content I consumed. My feelings were basically undeniable but I kept lying to myself because I didn't want to be a "TRANNY TRENDER" because the YTbers who were cringe culture transmedicalists said so. Kid me and other people around me did NOT have to go through that and man I'm sorry to everyone who went through that if you questioned your gender identity around like 2016-2018
I kinda always knew I was queer and a flavor of aroace so I engaged with queer content online but as we all know that was the time any queer person was bullied and other queer people kept telling each other what the RIGHT WAY TO BE QUEER was oh are you fat are you afab did you dye your hair YOU TRANSTRENDER TUMBLRINA!! ugh it was so stupid but it harmed so many. Shit sucked back then
I remember I'd be crying during P.E. classes (majorly gendered, girls and boys were seperate) in the bathrooms because I just felt so wrong but I knew I can't be trans because to me at the time the only way to be trans was to be MAN TO WOMAN and WOMAN TO MAN only and I did have some dysphoria especially chest dysphoria hell I still experience that but I didn't have bottom dysphoria or voice dysphoria which people kept saying was NECESSARY and like. In the middle or nonbinary or other wasn't an option because THAT'S WHAT THE LIARS ARE!!
And just. Struggling to understand my feelings because I was so unhappy and I believed I myself was somehow convinced by THOSE TRENDERS to feel this way and that no I can't be this and AAHH. like. I know better now I grew up I'm literally a gendered little freak entity but. I don't know it's just so sad that me or anybody had to feel that way yknow??
So it's sweet to think about the times I did enjoy some Transgenderism without beating myself up over it much. Well, I would go at myself like "HEY WHY DID I LIKE BEING CALLED THAT" but I wouldn't be gripping my head crying over it yelling "WHAT THE FUCK AM I" over it yknow?
Another time was when I was going home from school and some boy behind me called out to me as he possibly mistook me for someone else - in a masculine way in Czech. Despite my long ass hair which is FOR GIRLS ONLAY (seriously anywhere I go I have the longest hair it goes up to my ass I'm very sensitive about cutting it. I both want to but also UGH LONG HAIR SWAG.)
And I turn around like huh? And the boy goes OHH SORRY you're a girl. And I go oh it's okay heehee
And I walk off like HEE HEE HEE HEHEHEE :33 :DDD ✨✨✨✨✨✨waigth why did I like being misgendered as a guy hold up
And just looking back at the wholesome silly moments rather than the ouchies wowchies IS VERY NICE AND FUN and I get to pope fun at young me like YEA sure kid MX. IM NOT TRANSGENDER
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