Don't you ever let anyone tell you that it is too late to switch jobs/careers. Not ever.

Found a job at 18 & stuck with it? Cool.

Wanna change things up every 5 years? Do it.

Wanna start in a new field after devoting 20+ years to a single company? It's never too late!

We only have one dang life on this planet, if you wanna go wild and test all kinds of jobs out & find something your passionate about at 28,39,52? DO IT!

So, Casey's a turtle mutant, and he has obvious links to Leo (skin markings + color), some subtle links to Mikey (Shell design), and a very subtle link to Raph with his fangs.

I wonder though, how long did it take them to notice that he has fangs? And just how much did this…

Hurt to see?

Not to mention that the fangs could probably be written off as a link to Donnie, since spiny softshells bite pretty hard and Casey hasn't had physical contact with Raph's original body in about 10 years.

Raph sees the kid he was basically a dad to, as a turtle, with physical traits of his family, and almost no trace of himself. Casey doesn't remember him, and he resembles Leo more than anyone else. It hurts. But Casey and Leo are so happy, Raph can't ruin that. So he doesn't.

He shows annoyance/exhaustion at the unexpected mutation, and it's more directed towards his brother's tendency for scietific chaos that the actual mutation.

He also seems to avoid Casey until Draxum arrives and is able to "fix" Casey. Leo, Mikey, and Donnie all actively bond with Casey over being a turtle mutant. Raph barely shows up in this episode, and directly interacts with him even less, barely even paying attention when Leo throws Casey at him, and not even fully addressing Casey the whole episode (from what I remember).

Anyway, imagine Raph finding out Casey's mutation was never actually reversed and feeling a bit of pain because Casey wanted to stay a turtle mutant so he would always have a reminder of his family, and still not seeing much of any trace of himself.

Ok, now imagine Casey's fangs getting a bit too big and developing a snaggle tooth.

That's all ok byeee!!

Oooooouuuuh~ A little fact about Casey's mutation - originally, at some point I wanted to make him a snapping turtle instead of a red-eared slider. He had a spiky shell, little claws.... and a tail...also....like...Spiky lil tail....Yes. (Don't ask me why he had it while turtles don't. My concepts don't have logic~)

But then I thought it would be weird...where would he find that kind of dna? So, yeah... It's just the fangs. Maybe if I'm in the mood I'll come back to this topic haha~

Also, I want to add that even though Raph was the first one to adopt Casey, that doesn't make him the only real parent or smth. Leo literally raised that kid for ten years. He didn't take the title of father away from Raph. He joined it. And he was doing a good job of telling Casey about Raph. The only problem was that Leo could only talk about Raph from his own, brotherly point of view.

Casey grew up knowing what Raph was to Leo. And he was too young (and traumatized) to remember what Raph was to Casey.

Hi, this is just something that's been sitting in my notes for a while now. I wrote it on a night where I didn't quite know what to do with myself. Most of it is fictional or exaggerated, but it captured my feelings quite well that night. I can't really describe it, so if you have a minute. I'd appreciate it if you'd just give it a go.

Warnings: mention of suicide and death, drug abuse and depression.

English is not my first language. So If you find a grammatical error just tell me nicely and I'll see what i can do.

Everybody has flaws...

and I accept them so easily.

However when i say that, I never talk about my own.

I hate the things that make me less perfect.

Less important.

Less loveable.

Less worthy to live.

.

I hate how I'm dependent on sticks of tobacco that kill my lungs when I want to calm down.

What is my right to destroy myself when others lie in the hospital, their lungs close failure, waiting for someone to die who was generous enough to donate theirs.

I could've been that someone who was so kind.... If I had died at 13.

Now my lungs would probably kill them faster than their own.

I hate that I would rather deal with an unbearable headache on the next day, than endure my non intoxicated thoughts for even a night.

I could save someone's life, giving up only a small part of my liver.

If i hadn't made the decision to drown it in poison one too many times, hoping it would make my emotions go numb.

I hate that every time I take a pill for my pain, I get tempted to take more than I should.

Someone out there is fighting for their life and I'm here only one moment away from ending my own.

I hate how I can't keep my promises, because most days I'm not even able to gather enough energy to get out of bed.

Somebody worthy and lovable has waited for me time and time again, just for me to cancel two hours after the scheduled time of meet. They got themselves ready and waited, while I laid on my bathroom floor unable to move more than a few fingers at a time.

.

I hate how I can't seem to get my shit together.

I hate how I just can't be the responsible 23 year old I'm supposed to be.

I hate how I....

hate myself...

Everything I accept, understand and forgive in others

In me

I hate.

.

Why can't I get better if I hate all of my flaws? Why can't I just stop my self-destructing and kick myself out the door to do something? How many more breaking points do I need to live through to finally stop myself?

I think about these questions a lot.... Never got a reasonable answer though.

I got better. I didn't drink all the time anymore, I didn't smoke more than 10 cigarettes a day and i stayed away from other drugs. But i still stayed in bed. And i can't understand why i couldn't make the final step. Stop with it all and get it together.

I've gone back and forth a few steps over the last few months. From total blackout for a week to only a glass wine or two.

But everytime i get to the final step

It doesn't feel like one step

It feels like a trillion

And maybe that wasn't even that wrong

Maybe if I made another trillion tiny steps the last one wouldn't be so intimidating anymore.

I push myself to do a big final step though.

I push

I push and I push and I push

I stress.

.

Stress is my worst enemy.

I'd say if it was an other who stressed me. An assignment or a driver behind me honking for me to go faster.

However I don't get assignments anymore. Not when I don't even have a job.

And I don't drive. Not when I am scared I'd accidentally kill someone, because my mind doesn't seem to work like it should.

The only one that stresses me... Is myself

I am my worst enemy.

.

A Rant About Everything

To preface this; I am 24. I'm a nonbinary trans man. I have been suspected of being neurodivergent since I was a small child and have not been assessed not by choice but because, well, look at what year it is and I turn 25 later in the year, think about what things were like even 10 years ago, let alone 15-17. I was viewed as high-intelligence so I was "gifted" and "special" and "shh we don't need to get that one assessed, that one is ✨high-functioning✨ so that one can't possibly have support needs" (ok I don't think they actually said that but that's how it feels, I hate the words "gifted" and "special" in the context of people calling me those things because it feels like they're saying I'm "smart for a r****d"). Now, I'm putting a read-more bar because this will be a lot; this way, you can hopefully read the tags first if you need to.

I feel like I don't have a good way to move forward. I can't get a job between the fact that applying for jobs feels like trying to arm-wrestle a gorilla more often than not and the fact that most jobs require experience that nowhere is willing to give (I don't have much mostly because of bad luck and financial hardship, I haven't been able to stay in a job for more than a year, also I once literally dissociated from stress and called out while I was on the subway to go in not long after having been screamed at out of the blue while on the job because canvassing for Planned Parenthood is... A very worthy cause that is not for those who cannot handle very high stress for kind of pitiful pay), I theoretically have some income coming every year from my very-recently-inherited share in a family farm that gets rented out but that's in limbo because of a death in the family just before COVID (the cynical part of me wonders if my transphobic aunt is pissed off that I inherited my mother's portion but I don't think my other aunt would let her do anything to force me out, I'll sell eventually more than likely as I intend to move overseas but for now, I need that money), I can't even really find a way to ask my dad for help because every time I try, my voice just locks up and I can't find the words even if I could make a sound to actually tell him and I've written notes before and just feel like I don't know what to even write at this point.

That is already a beast of a probably run-on sentence and I'm going to break it down in about the same order, expanding on each issue. First, the job search and related issues, this one is fourfold;

My brain says "no" and so my focus vanishes like morning mist in summer and/or my body physically refuses to continue doing the task (it's soooooo fun to be trapped in a body that won't fUCKING LISTEN TO ME /s), such as submitting job applications, particularly ones that ask you to upload a resume then ask you to manually input the same information. This issue also applies to other things.

I have severe social anxiety and probably "selective mutism" which is a terribly-named condition because it is not a choice. My vocal cords physically will not move and my brain no longer supplies words to my mouth when I'm too anxious. Combine that with social anxiety (I'm aware it could be a symptom of the social anxiety, I also live in the US so healthcare above "literally physically immediately saving your life" is a privilege and not a right because people have been tricked into thinking that market forces work to regulate the price of necessities in a corrupt and rigged system) and a particular hatred of and anxiety about phone calls and formal settings (I never fucking know if what I'm saying is actually formal enough or if I'm being too much of a kiss-ass) and you get me being effectively unable to do a lot of following up.

The system is rigged to disadvantage those who are not nepotism babies or starting/started at age 15 or whatever the minimum legal age to work is and don't have degrees. For financial and mental health reasons, I do not have a degree. Because my mom thought it would be great for me to join band in HS to "look better to colleges" (I love her, may she rest in peace, she was a product of her time) and I am not a nepotism baby (no offense to those who are and are good people, it's a systemic issue not the fault of those who were given benefits from said system without necessarily asking for them), I do not have the experience jobs want and few if any jobs are willing to hire someone with very little experience, what jobs I have had have been short-lived either by design or because of circumstances far beyond my control such as asshole customers who don't think someone should be given the benefit of the damn doubt and financial issues forcing me to move to another state to live with my dad.

Apparently, I'm fucking nocturnal. I'm not even kidding, my brain reacts the same way to sunlight that most brains react to darkness and vice versa, I sleep far sounder through the day and, as I've flipped my schedule, I've been doing better mentally and physically (not enough to change my whole life but enough that I'm not constantly fighting to stay awake). As a 4'11"-tall nonbinary trans man, I'm not sure a night shift job would be necessarily safe for me, not to mention how hard one would be to get, but I suffer immensely when forced into a diurnal rhythm. I tried it for almost 24 years so I would think that no amount of "good sleep hygiene" would help because I tried everything. Nothing was as effective as just letting my body do its thing.

I'm sure you can see how the lack of funds and the mental health issues create a fucking loop already. And sure, in theory, I have at least a saving grace, a share in a family farm, guaranteed income, right? Well, apparently, when my uncle B passed BEFORE COVID, that caused ✨issues✨ and my aunt J is still working them out, according to my aunt B (I do not talk to aunt J because she's transphobic and her whole branch of my family tree is just... Off, and not in like a mental illness way where I can understand but in a "they might actually be or want to be in a militaristic Christian cult" way where I just hope the younger ones break that cycle). I trust aunt B, she's cool, I love her, I do not trust aunt J.

My mom passed away on December 1st of 2022, I am her only child, she did not have a spouse at the time of her passing, she had no siblings (at least, no full siblings), and while she didn't have a will, that just means I'm the one who inherits by default. Unfortunately, this is all in North Carolina. I currently live a few states up from NC, I flew down to NC to deal with my mom's passing (I actually went in the hopes that I would just be dealing with next-of-kin stuff in the hospital while she recovered but she passed away while I was in the air), and from what I can tell, their online systems are run by corrupt gerbils who use only hamster wheel power to run their shit, with maybe a backup potato battery. It's ridiculous to me that there is no good way to verify next-of-kin for inheritance without mountains of fucking paperwork. Which aunt J isn't handling right now because she's apparently busy with uncle B's death paperwork and his kids' shit. I'll be lucky to get the check by the end of the year I think at this point. I actually decided to fly home before Christmas because I hated being away from family (my family in the state live a 3-hour drive away from where my mom lived and passed away) and am worried about having to go back but go to my family's hometown this time (where my mom lived is a fairly decent city, my family's hometown might actually literally have only one stoplight, maybe two, though I would appreciate going to the chicken place down there, I miss Smithfields).

Oh and speaking of family, my dad. He's awesome, no complaints whatsoever beyond that he weirdly forgets things that he intends to do for me like getting my insurance info since I'm on his insurance and I need to remind him. Which is hard for me because I'm living with him due to financial issues and already feel like I'm a burden, despite knowing he has a well-paying job (he's made comments about being able to start a bidding war for his services, he works in tech and honestly I wouldn't be surprised, he's good at what he does) and cares about me. Plus my issue with speech.

He actually tried to get me a job. But the person who was supposed to contact me ghosted me and I do not have the mental or emotional energy to deal with those kinds of games. I'm trying to work up the courage to tell him how I feel but I don't know how to put it into words when talking to him. I've been staring at the "remind dad about insurance" reminder on my phone that I made after he told me to remind me since the 8th of December, I obviously didn't do it then because 1, I wasn't in the same state as him, 2, I wasn't in a good headspace, 3, I had way too much on my plate for that. Now, it taunts me because how do I go "yeah you know that thing that you asked me to remind you about in a week when we had lunch together on Thanksgiving, I'm reminding you of that now"?

It feels like all my problems are just a big, tangled-up mess and I don't know what to do or where to start. Just laying them all out like this was hard. I do want to make it clear, I am NOT asking for other people to give me money, I'm in a physically safe place with a parent who is actually a really good guy, I'm not someone who needs it as much as others do. I'm just frustrated with the way things work in this shithole of a country.

The Talk #001

~~: ...hello?

~: fuck off.

~~: Well good afternoon to you too...

~*sits in silence for about 10 minutes*~

~~: Why are you doing this?

~: If I knew that, do you think I'd still be doing it?

~~: I mean... Probably.

~: are you trying to pick a fight?

~~: what? No, I'm just-

~: just what?! Huh? C'mon you little shit, spit it out!

~~: STOP.

~: ......

~~: I'm serious, all of this hate is only holding us back.

~: oh yeah? How?

~~: well... We'd probably have more motivation to do what makes us happy.

~: so? If we wait long enough, that motivation will just come to us anyway.

~~: okay... but since when did we like to wait for shit to happen? Especially when it concerns us.

~: ......whatever, leave me alone.

~~: yeah uhm... I can't do that anymore.

~: and why the hell not? Been doing it for years, why stop now?

~~: Maybe because I don't remember why I started in the first place? Or because I've realized that I've been neglecting... "us"? for way too long.

~: heh... you only just picked up on that? Do you even realize how long it's been?!

~~: well... I get that it's been a while-

~: haha nononono no, we have never once loved ourselves. Ever since we were able to understand the concept, we've been doing the bullies job for them. Honestly, maybe even before then.

~: Anything that ever came close would be more akin to being a lazy slob like Mike, who YOU stupidly decided to contact.

~~: hey that wasn't stupid, I was trying to get closure for what he did to us!

~: no you fucking weren't, you just wanted an excuse to scream at him for all of that shit and you couldn't even get that right. You listened to what Mom said and watered it down for him to "be able to process". Now he doesn't actually know how hurt we are and probably never will!

~~: I mean... It's better than knowing he couldn't process any of it, at that point it's just a waste of time.

~: yeah? ...well I still say we should've let him have it...

~*another few minutes of silence*~

~~: look, I understand you're angry. Believe me, I am too. But that was so long ago now, what is continuing to be pissed gonna do?

~: ha now who's being lazy?

~~: what?

~: you heard what I fucking said, dammit. As much as you may want this done and sorted in the next day or two, it won't be. I think we're smart enough to know change like this doesn't happen that fast. No matter how much you force it.

~~: ......

~: Somehow you've managed to make yourself both endlessly impatient AND stupidly lazy! You'll spout all this shit about wanting to get better but then can't bring yourself to put in any of the work!

~: Sorry princess, but sometimes you have to actually force yourself to do the work. Otherwise no one's going anywhere... Except for all of our friends that is, no wonder you feel so alone. They're all hiding from you and your stupid bullshit. Eventually they'll all just leave, I know you're smart enough to know that.

~: just shut the fuck up and go away... You're definitely Mike's kid...

...

...

...

~~: look... We've got a lot of flaws, I'm well aware of that. And yeah, maybe everyone will leave at some point. But while we're stressing about all of this shit, y'know what's happening out there? Life. The life we should've been living this entire time, but we were too busy trying to stay alive to really notice.

~~: I get that this won't be solved in a day, but if we really didn't care we wouldn't be here right now.

~~: I know damn well that we're still the exact same person who saw nothing but beauty in the world and wanted nothing more than to see the good in everyone, or make everyone happy. 25 years worth of self loathing and pain couldn't do that because nothing can.

~~: ... I'm putting this down for now, but I'll be back soon. I'm not giving up on you, not now, not ever.

I can accept old man ingo but the thought of him being missing for decades is too sad. Emmett may never get closure 😭

🤔🤔 I've been reading what people have to say on that matter and tbh, I also don't believe he's been missing for that long.

10 years as a minimum is far too long, if you ask me. There's a lot of plot holes and discrepancies that arise in the case that he has been staying there for that long of a time. (I'll prolly get to talking about that sooner rather than later since I have a couple of asks addressing this)

Personally, I think I'll stick to my 2-5 years timeframe. It just makes more sense to me.

Even if Ingo were gone for that long I think Emmet would at least be able to move on? Like it would hurt for a really long time but after that long I think he'd just become accustomed to Ingo's disappearance. Some people say he skipped Ingo's "funeral" because a part of him was still in denial so if that happened, he'd probably at least come to Ingo's makeshift grave(?) and mourn what he thinks is his brother's death.

Honestly this all just makes me really sad :<. I keep asking myself why they had to send this man like, 100-200 years in the past and make his life so difficult :<. He was just a happy lil guy on a subway doing his job dutifully surrounded by the people he loves ;w;.

13 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats seriously what bugs me so much about LO, it never actually lets serious moments be serious, it's always lampooned by rachel's insistent need to force in her juvenile "humor" and never actually depicting how pressing things are. even the following moments from persephone's r//pe was undercut by hades making stupid puns! i understand if rachel cant write something more serious than "[x] is bad" but if thats so, then dont try it? because thats how you end up with this pretentious mess.

2. since when did lo hades have earrings??? i legit do not remember this ever being a thing??? is he trying to be hip with the kids 😭my man you still look like a crusty old man the earrings arent helping 😭

3. lo hermes looks and acts like flaky from happy tree friends and no thats not a compliment (TW for gore, blood, and violence if any of you google it)

4. Even though the earlier art style was better there are still some cursed panels from the earlier pages that still haunt me. Especially the way Persephone was drawn differently in so many of the panels.

5. lo hades has such "how do you do fellow kids" energy and im not sure why

6. im also confused on the fertility goddess stuff because how stupid is persephone if she didnt notice? she can create life and nature without even thinking and shes implied to be a genius in biology, so how would she not even notice this? if RS really wants to go with this plot, then why have her professor bring it up in class? why not show persephone going to her uni's library to research the topic and pouring over it? that's an easy way to show persephone's intelligence, yet LO doesnt even try.

7. What I wanna know in LO was how Demeter and Hestia were compensated after the war. The three brothers got to be kings and Hera is queen, but what we know of Demeter is that she had a millionaire dollar business that’s probably made it on its own (unless she was helped out) and then Hestia all we really know about her is that she runs that TOGEM and idk if there’s only 4 of them, Hestia really had a group by herself for a bit since Athena is Zeus’ (assumed) daughter, Artemis (Zeus’ assumed daughter) and persphone (newest member) which seems shitty since they won a war together

8. I think what happened with LO’s art style was RS got “lazy” (I’m lacking the right word). I feel like without the colors all of the men in LO have the same body type, and Hermès and Apollo may even have the same face if they smile the same. So to compensate for that lack of body diversity, RS doubled down on Hades’ features to make him stand out more to really show he’s the male lead. However, even in her own words he looks like Persphones’ “dusty ass dad”

The women use to be a little different but they’re all starting to blend with body types. Her was small, but now she’s short and busty like Persphone. RS makes Persphone look short and busty all the time but almost childlike. Minthe was skinny but her last moments she was busy. Aphrodite I feel was just busty but then tried to make her look small also with Ares and Hades beside her. Hestia stayed the same but is still small and busty. Athena was tall and thin (?) but now she’s tall but busty (and her relationship with Hestia looks like it mirrors HXP). Idk I just feel like the longer screen time the female characters get the more they start mirroring Persphone’s look. Like even Artemis was getting empathized on being small next to her brother Apollo. Like all the girls gotta look small but curvy as the story goes on. 

9. Demeter: watched her friend get ripped in half. Watched her friend get continually cheated on, paying the price for not hiding a mistress , watched metis get eaten, her back clawed, fought in a war. Later made a daughter who’s a fertility goddess (probably an accident) and now has to raise her. That same daughter then went on a rampage and isn’t really remorseful

Fans: Demeter is such an overbearing mother who gets in the way of our ship.

10. on regards to ace characters, asexuality is a spectrum like everything else, so a lot of asexuals actually do enjoy and have sex, so the maidens doing so isnt inherently a problem, its the fact rachel is clearly viewing it through a strict binary where she assumes asexuality is something that can be "fixed" over time/when the right person comes along. its also a bad modern reading of it, as "virginity" in an ancient sense meant via marriage, not via sex, but I doubt rachel cares to factcheck it.

11. Imagine an elf is given a job to do at a human institution. The humans think elves don’t need bathroom breaks, since they know they can hold it for days, but this elf has been traveling to reach their job, and has already been holding it to the point they are in pain. They ask for a break, but their job is important and time sensitive, so they admit they can still hold it when asked. After a full day of work, the elf tries to reach the bathroom in time, but they were never told where it is.

From OP: I think this might be a nymph allegory? Anon never specified so I'll put this here anyway.

12. ya know if hades has to lie to make apollo seem worse (who does not need much in this comic) its like??? why is he persephone's lawyer then?? lawyers are literally told not to lie, this is basic law 101. thats why they dont want their clients to mention to them if they actually did the crimes because then the lawyers have to say it in court. if hades lies so casually just to keep persephone away from justified punishment, then thats bad actually!  both in being a decent person and as a lawyer!

From OP: Hades didn’t lie but he was definitely out of line. RS liked a tweet saying that the wife thing was “subconscious” so it probably was. (Still doesn’t make it right but I doubt he’d say those things on the stand.)

13. I know Minthe was written in a way she was suppose to be unlikesable, she’s rude, she yells and she doesn’t hesistate. HOWEVER RS wrote her character badly. Minthe is so unliked? How was she able to be a bad gf to hades and Thanatos? Like yes it’s an affair but how was she able to pull 2 gods?! We don’t hear Hades or Thanatos say what they like about her BUT they both still had a fling with her. (Honestly I feel it’s cause RS can’t bare writing one nice thing about the female anatangoist without trying to make Persphone look good)

The other thing bothering me was everyone knew about her relationship with Hades after she put it on fatesbook, but everyone talked about the kiss in such a positive light IN FRONT OF HER. Aren’t they suppose to be scared of her? Why did the girls in the yoga class/dress shop had so much to say about that kiss? Because they knew persphone? Did they know every other detail too? What was their actual beef with Minthe?

I feel like realistically some more characters would have sympathy for Minthe if they didn’t know her that well because of Hera. Everyone knows Hera is a pill to deal with and she’s the goddess of marriage who hasn’t really tried bringing Minthe and Hades to the alter. That right there should let everyone know that Hera probably doesn’t help the situation.

Idk, I feel like RS could have gone deeper and made the character not such HXP shippers cause most people wouldn’t cheer for cheating nor an old ass guy getting with a 19 year old. (Idk how fast the news of the slap spread, but I doubt it made it to every place in their fictional world)

It Takes A Village Chapter 7

Chris Evans x Pregnant!daughter!reader

Series Master List

Series Summary: You find out that your pregnant. After being kicked out of your mom's house you go to live full time with your Dad who you only saw once every few months. Will he react badly to you being a mom at such a young age?

Chapter Summary: You tell your friends about the baby and have a ultrasound where you find out some shocking news.

Series Warnings: swearing, fighting with a parent, teen pregnancy, speak of abortion.

Chapter Warnings: terrible writing of a ultrasound, Teen Pregnancy

You sat in front of the mirror your shirt pulled up just enough to show your now growing belly that seemed bigger then it should for only being 10 weeks pregnant. It not like giant if your put a normal shirt on no one would notice it but it definitely seemed bigger then it should be.

"Bubba you almost done?" Chris poked his head into the open doorway to see you staring at the mirror. This is never a good sign. He thought walking in.

"Dad am I supposed to start showing this early? I'm only ten weeks." You looked up at him your hands on your belly.

"I'm not sure your mom was smaller when she was 10 weeks but every pregnancy is different." He tried to assure you and calm your nerves.

"I guess."

"Sweat-pea you have an appointment next week you can ask them about it then." He said. "But today you have to get to school. So cover up the  belly and come to the car." He placed a kiss to your head before walking out. You stood fixing your shirt before following him out of your room.

----

It's now the day of your appointment, you sat in your school cafeteria eating lunch. The appointment is right after school so Scott and Chris were both going to take you. You had to take off work since you were able to get a job at McDonald's. You weren't as nervous about this appointment as you were with the first one. You only had one question for the nurse and that was all.

"Y/n? You okay you've been staring at the wall for like five minutes." Marcus asked you.

"Oh.. Uh yeah, I just have an appointment after school and I'm a bit nervous for it." You said.

"Well, Y/n I have a question for you. It's been like three weeks can we know why you moved yet?" Liam asked you.

"My mom kicked me out." You told them looking down at the table.

"Why?" Oscar asked, before you heard him yelp as he was smacked by Leah and Marcus.

"I'm pregnant..." You whispered. It stayed quiet for a few moments.

"Can I be the baby's uncle Osc?" Oscar asked breaking the silence.

"You guys... Don't care about being friends with a teen mom?"

"You kidding? I love babies their so cute!" Liam said.

"Yeah! So can we be the baby's aunts and uncles?" Naomi asked.

"Sure!"

"Do you know the gender?" Leah asked.

"Not yet I get find out in a couple weeks though!" You said smiling in relief.

"I'm gonna be the best uncle to baby alien!" Oscar said, you giggled.

"I doubt the baby would be a alien." Marcus said.

"You don't know that the dad could be an alien in disguise." You said.

"She's right!" Liam said.

"The baby would be more likely to be a baby super hero then a alien since their grandfather is captain America." Leah said.

"Yo you got a point!" Oscar said.

"Not really he isn't Captain America anymore." Naomi said.

"But he was." You shrugged giggling.

----

You walked up to your dad's car where you saw Scott in the passenger seat. "Hi, Dad! Hi uncle Scott! Dad, I told my friends about the baby! They   don't care! they want to be the baby's aunts and uncles." You told him buckling in.

"What did you tell them?" Scott asked as Chris began to drive.

"I said yeah." You replied.

"Your allowing five kids you barely know be the uncles and aunts of your child?" Chris asked.

"Dad you allowed me Sebastian to be my uncle the first time I went to the first avenger set with you. You barely knew him then." You said.

"She's got a point." Scott said. "So are you nervous?"

"No." You said.

"That's good." Chris said smiling at you through the rear view mirror.

----

You sat on the bed as she got ready to do the ultrasound, your uncle and your dad sitting in the chairs that were in the room.

"So do you have any questions or concerns?" The nurse asked.

"Uh.. Yea I'm already showing isn't it a bit early?" You asked her.

"No, actually many people start showing around ten weeks." She explained giving you a gentle smile before starting the ultrasound and looking at the small screen. "Okay..." She mumbled. You watched her facial expression as she went from neutral to surprised to smiling. That got you a bit concerned. "There are two heartbeats! It's twins!" She announced. The room fell silent as the three of you took in the information.

"It's what?!" You exclaimed after a few minutes. "Nope! There's no way!" You said panicking. Chris had excuses himself a few moments before your panicking began. Probably to do his own.

"Here." She put the video onto the big screen where the two blobs you could see last time were more   prominent. "See, that's one head." She pointed to one. "And a second."

"I can't take care of two babies at once." You said. Scott stood up putting a hand on your shoulder to calm you down before Chris walked back in seemingly calmer than when he left. He knew you were having a baby but he wouldn't have been able to raise two kids at once and he was 24 when your parents had you, your so much younger than that he is scared for you.

"I'm sure it'll all work out sweetie." The nurse assured you as Chris took Scott's place by your side

"Remember I'm here to help you." Chris assured, you kissing your forehead. You let out a shaky sigh nodding. You should've been so much more worried.

"Are they healthy?" You asked the doctor.

"Yes! Would you like to hear their heart beats?" She asked you gently. You nodded.

This really wasn't how you were expecting to spend your high school years with two kids. You had come to terms with the fact you were going to be the mom to a singular kid. Now you have to come to terms with being a mom to twins.

"So at your next appointment, you should be able  to find the babies' genders out!" She told you. You gave a nervous smile nodding before looking at Chris and Scott. Scott seemed to be processing it, while Chris was giving you a reassuring smile keeping a hand on your shoulder.

A/n: well wasn't that a shocker... I already have names  picked out for the baby's and your gonna love them... Because they are Disney themed!!! I'll give you a sneak peek at their first initials. (I say middle names in the near so I'm not gonna do   they're full initials cause then you'll know the genders.

F.

F.

Ooooh and I may be giving slight hints to the names in the next few chapters but really subtle hints

I'll leave you too guess their names...

Taglist: @toastisgood @coldmuffinpartycloud @thevelvetseries @uniquebeautyqueen

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.7k

Warnings: swearing, angst, drunk, motion of death

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 2 Part 4

Part 3

In less than ten minutes, we had pulled up to Liam's house. Liam paid for the taxi too. I kind of argued this time, but he pointed out he asked me to his house. I didn't get too stubborn about it.

Liam was living in a four-story terrace house, recently renovated by the looks of it. It was painted white with black wrought iron lacework, and it was beautiful. The front door and windows were painted black. It appeared to be the twin of the house that shared its wall.

We entered through the dining room, and I realised it was actually the two houses renovated together. The inside was modern with original heritage touches. The floors were light timber, and the walls were white. The ceilings had plaster and cornice so beautifully ornate that restoration must have taken ages. The room had an imposing black marble fireplace and a deep brown, almost black wooden dining table set on a grey shag rug in the room's centre. A huge abstract painting of bright pinks, greens and grey hung on the wall.

"Wow, this must have cost a mint!" I quickly covered my mouth. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

"It's ok. I was pleasantly surprised by the house too. The studio got the house for me I...." Liam was interrupted by a massive dog bounding into the room.

Liam got down and roughhoused with the dog for a bit. Wow, he was a monster! I'd seen a picture of Cole before that "Will" had sent me, but I wasn't quite prepared for how big he was. He was almost completely black with some brown above his eyes and ears. His paws were brown too, and his belly was grey. He wasn't any particular breed, apparently a rescue dog. I thought of my bull terrier cross cattle dog at home. This dog would eat him for breakfast, and Perrin wasn't small.

Cole's pink tongue lolled, and he panted as Liam moved from side to side. Cole imitated Liam's actions jumping about. He barked a couple of times as he got excited by the play. The noise reverberated through the quiet house.

"Shhh, Cole, people are sleeping." Liam softly admonished. Then his voice became stern. "Sit," he ordered before patting him. Liam looked at me and said, "Lana, this is Cole. Cole, Lana."

"Hi, Cole. You're much bigger in person." I could hear the slight tremor in my voice. Liam must have sensed I was nervous and came over to stand near me. Cole padded over and sniffed at me. Gingerly, I put my hand by my side and let him approach me. Cole nuzzled my hand, and I gave him a pat on the side of his neck. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I was worried he wouldn't like me. I love dogs but always get nervous around new ones." Liam put his head to the side, asking a silent question. "I had a dingo go me one time, and I've never really gotten over it." I squatted down and gave Cole more pats. "I think this guy is ok, though."

"Yeah, he's a good boy. How is Perrin, by the way?"

"He's ok." I sighed, "he's just old. The poor little guy can't get onto my bed anymore and sleeps in my lounge room now. I kinda miss it, but I have slept a bit better."

Liam gave Cole some more pats and told him to go sit. "Come on. I'll make you a tea or coffee if you'd like." I agreed a coffee would be perfect right now. I needed something to sober me up.

I sat at the kitchen bench while Liam made coffees. Cole sat by my stool, and I patted his head while watching Liam. Liam had kicked off his shoes and was walking around in his bare feet. It was amazing to see him so much more relaxed here than while we were out. He really did appear to enjoy being at home.

As Liam made our coffee, he moved with a grace that surprised me. His movements seemed economical and rigid but hinted at the power beneath them. He seemed coiled and ready to explode at any moment. It was like he was dancing the pasodoble, his body moving to an invisible beat. Images of Strictly Ballroom came into my mind, and I found myself humming Love is in the Air. I was drunker than I thought.

When Liam was done, he led me over to his large L shaped lounge, and I sat. Liam flopped down next to me, casually laying back and popped his feet up on the coffee table. Cole sat on a mat that was clearly his.

I sipped my coffee, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the quiet between Liam and I felt awkward.

Liam and I spoke at the same time, "What.." "So..."

We both laughed. Liam indicated I should proceed. "Well, I was going to ask what brought you out to Sydney, for real, not the Will answer."

"A new project. I'm going to be filming a television show." Liam proceeded to tell me about his project, working with some people from Netflix on a fantasy/sci-fi series adaptation. He was so animated when telling me that it was obvious that he loved his job.

It would be his first television series and was to be more romance heavy than anything he had done in years. Liam explained that he is filming here because the story was written and developed in Australia. "If it works out, I'll probably be based out of Australia for the next few years. I'll go home to England for a few months during breaks, maybe do some small film roles. It's hard with Cole, though, because every trip into Australia means 10 days quarantine for him."

"Oh yeah, and you don't want a Pistol and Boo situation." Liam looked confused, and I explained about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp smuggling their dogs into Australia.

"I thought you said you don't follow celebrity gossip."

"I don't, but that was big news, hilarious really. It was on every bit of media in Australia, and then they had to make this cringe video apology. I almost felt bad for them." Then I yawned, suddenly all the alcohol had lost its buzz, and I was just tired. "The coffee doesn't seem to be doing its job. What time is it?"

Liam looked at his watch, "11.30."

"Yeah, it's late. I should get home. I don't want to turn into a pumpkin." I cringed. Fuck.

"You don't have to go. You could stay here." I raised my eyebrows. "I do have more than one bed if that's what you want." Liam leaned over to me and placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my skin.

I looked at my nearly empty coffee mug. I swirled the dregs around the bottom as if it were tea leaves, and they would tell me what to do. "I don't want to go home yet, but I don't want to go too fast, either."

"That's ok."

I didn't move. I wanted to stay. Ten years ago, I would have stayed, but Andy's face flashed into my thoughts. I knew it was ridiculous. Andy had been gone for over three years now. But every time I even contemplated being with someone, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Liam was waiting for an answer, but I didn't know what to tell him. 'It's not you, it's me' is such a tired cliche, but sometimes it's true.

"Lana, it's ok. If you want to go home, that's absolutely fine. I'll even call you an Uber."

I felt my eyes sting, and I looked away from Liam. My bloody traitorous tear ducts giving me away. I shouldn't have drunk so much. Alcohol always makes me emotional.

"Fuck." I swore under my breath. I angrily wiped at my eyes, thankful I had used waterproof mascara. My eyeliner was a different story, though, and black streaked my fingers. I asked Liam where his bathroom was, and I got up, only half listening to his directions. I found it quickly. It was only through the doorway into a little enclave with a powder room, stairs and a lift. What kind of bloody house has a lift?

I closed the door and sat on the toilet seat. I knew enough not to try to stop the tears, so I just let them go. Bloody hell, Andy. Why did he fucking have to leave me? Why the fuck did you have to fucking die. Goddammit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this to Andy? I wanted to scream, to punch something, to throw something. I needed another cigarette. Fuck you, Andy. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck Liam.

As I always did when I thought of Andy, I remembered the last time I saw him. His sweet face looked down at me as he kissed me goodbye. His deep brown hair fell like a curtain around us, hiding our kiss from the world. Cheekily I had slipped my tongue into his mouth, and he had groaned as he pulled away. He told me to save it for when he got back and would be as quick as he could be. I had thanked him for filling in for me. He winked and said to thank him later. Then he left.

When I was able to, I started to take deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. I could feel the tightness in my chest slowly ease. Breathing became more comfortable, and the tears stopped. I looked at my hands, and I was able to release the fists I was making. My nails hadn't broken the skin this time, but small red crescents remained etched into my palms.

I waited a few minutes longer to make sure the moment had passed. It wasn't Andy's fault he died, and I knew that. It's also not my fault that I wanted someone to love again. Sleeping with someone other than Andy felt like crossing the Rubicon, no going back.

The fact was there is no going back, no Andy to go back to, even if I wanted. In my head, it still felt like a betrayal. But it wasn't. And Liam wasn't just anybody. He was a guy I had spent weeks talking to, getting to know, and although he looks different, he is still acting as I had expected. I saw a potential future here. Did I really want to let my past ruin it?

I cleared my throat and stood up, preparing myself to see the horror that looked back at me. Ugh, it wasn't great. My eyeliner had given me panda eyes, and the tears had created streaks down my cheeks.

Getting a tissue and blew my nose, and decided there was nothing else for it, I washed my makeup off my face. I avoided washing my eye makeup off though, that was a mess I just didn't have the products for, so I just wiped under my eyes and cleaned it up. I binned my tissues, washed my hands, took a few more deep breaths and prepared myself to face Liam.

I opened the door and walked straight into something solid that made me bounce back into the bathroom like a tennis ball. Hands caught me before I hit the floor, and I found myself in Liam's arms.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked.

"No," I was flustered again. I spent all that time calming down to just be in a state two seconds later. "I just didn't expect you to be outside the door. Jesus, you're like a brick shit house."

Liam didn't laugh. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," I lied.

Liam didn't look convinced. He let me go and ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

Liam nodded. "I'll get you that Uber." He pulled his phone out.

That's it then. All in all, it wasn't the worst date I'd been on since Andy died. Actually, it was probably the best. Liam, at least, was a guy I was attracted to and didn't appear to be a man child. He seemed to like me, even when I cried over another man. Although I doubt Liam knew that's why I was crying. I had told him I was married before and he had died, but that was only once and a long time ago, and we hadn't discussed it again.

The tears had done their job, and a calmness came over me now. I had said goodbye to Andy, and I was ready to take that last step to move on. That was why I started to date again; to open my heart, I was ready.

I put my hand on Liam's wrist, "if you still want me to, I'd like to stay."

"Are you sure? I probably shouldn't have asked in the first place. I let my other head think for me." Though I laughed at his candid admission, Liam's face was serious. "I'm not joking. I want you, and I didn't think about how you must be feeling. The whole fake profile thing must still be weighing on your mind. And all of the other problems that go along with being with me. You should have more time to think about it."

And my dead husband, let's not forget that. I didn't say that out loud, thank God. "I will have time to think about it. But right now, I want..." Shit. I've gone shy again. Just fucking tell him you want him too! "I mean, can't we just have a bit of a cuddle and a snog?"

Liam's lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile, "a cuddle and a snog?"

I nodded.

Smiling, Liam put his phone back in his pocket. "I think I can arrange that."

Without further warning, Liam grabbed my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the wall above my head. His other hand snaked around my waist, holding me to him, his hips rolling into mine. His eyes were fierce and focused on mine. I  closed my eyes, the sensations too much, and my breath quickened.

I heard Liam say through gritted teeth, "It's taken everything I had not to do this to you since I saw you at the bar. I wanted to take you then and there." His voice seemed to ease, the words coming easier for him. "You don't know how much I've wanted to touch you. To know you are real." Then he whispered, "and you are. Real. You're as beautiful tonight as you were in your pictures."

I opened my eyes and found Liam staring at me, and his intensity was nearly frightening. He pulled me tighter against himself, his fingertips digging into me while he crushed me against his body. I felt his hardness against my hip, and I couldn't stop myself from rubbing against it. This time Liam closed his eyes, and I felt the rush of blood to my centre.

Liam opened his eyes, desire naked on his face, "Kiss me," he said.

I met his soft and warm lips. I felt Liam's groan rumble in his vast chest, and kissing him again, my lips scraped against his whiskers. Liam kissed me back now. His tongue pushed past my lips, and found mine. His tongue playfully danced in my mouth. Liam's hand left my arse and started to feel my hips, my waist and then my breasts. He cupped them and gently squeezed. My breath caught as his hand skimmed past my nipple. His palm created friction against the lace of my bra, and tingles radiated through my body.

His lips left mine and went to my neck. He kissed and sucked at me, moving down to the top of my breasts. I heard him take a deep breath into my chest as his cheeks rubbed against my skin. His kisses became harder against my chest and moved back up to my neck, his teeth nipping at me as he went. Even though he had me captured, I wriggled against him, my hips moved uncontrollably, my breath uneven and weak.

Liam pulled away, still firmly gripping one of my hands. "Come with me." Liam led me to the lift.

"Where are we going?"

"To my bedroom." I pulled against him, forcing him to stop. "Sweetheart, I promise I won't fuck you until you ask."

My legs turned to jelly. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg despite my reservations. I nodded and followed Liam into the lift.

Part 4

The First of Many

Someone To Stay Ch. 10

Spencer Reid x fem reader

Content Warnings: *Mentions of alcohol/drinking

Y/N POV:

You roll over in bed to glance at your phone to see it's 11 AM. It feels nice to sleep in with no alarm. After putting on your glasses and slippers and finally dragging yourself out of bed, you stroll into the kitchen and pour a bowl of fruity pebbles. You put a music playlist on the TV to play in the background.

It has been almost a week since your talk with Spencer. As much as it hurt you to see him broken in that way, you felt honored that he trusts you enough to share that part of his life with you. Talking about trauma is never easy. You should know.

You think over some of the things you said to him. Spencer's entire job involves profiling people and reading every tone, every bit of body language. You are sure that he most likely noticed changes in you as you spoke about coping with trauma, but you're grateful he hadn't felt the need to prod you with questions. He had become your best friend here, but you aren't sure you're quite ready to bare the darkest parts of your soul to him.

Suddenly you hear a knock at your door, not caring if a neighbor or maintenance worker sees you in your pajamas, you stroll towards the door and swing it open. You rub your eyes under your glasses to make sure you're seeing correctly. Spencer is standing in your doorway, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Y/N I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up! I just assumed since it was 11..."

You wave, brushing off his comments. "Its fine, really. I actually wasn't asleep. I was eating a late breakfast though." You suddenly become very self-conscious, and its not just because you're in your pajamas. Spencer had seen you that way on the trip. You realize as you stand in your doorway that you're wearing a tank and tight fitting PJ shorts and your bear paw slippers. Your hair is a giant mess. You have no makeup on, which you usually relied on to conceal your less than perfect skin. You never really outgrew acne, even in your twenties. You were also in your glasses. Basically, you felt like a hot mess, somewhat like Princess Anna waking up on coronation day. Even though your movie nights had been casual, you always tried to be at least somewhat put together without looking like you tried too hard.

"Umm come in" You step aside as you cross your arms over your chest, your gaze staying on your feet.

"Sorry you had to see me like this. I thought maybe it was just apartment maintenance. I can go change real quick..."

A look of genuine confusion spreads across his features. "I don't understand.  See you like what?"

You gesture to your entire body. "Like...this! I'm a complete mess, Spence." You try to keep your face down to conceal the redness growing on your cheeks.

Spencer shakes his head before letting out a small chuckle. You glance up, confused as to what about this he could possibly find funny. He better not be laughing at you, seeing as you are embarrassed enough as it is.

He shakes his head, smiling. "Silly girl."

Spencer reaches down and brushes a piece of hair behind your ear. "You always look pretty."

The voice of Mama Cass singing Dream a Little Dream of Me fills the air between the two of you. There's so much tension and you don't know where it came from. Usually you're really comfortable with Spencer. But you definitely feel butterflies in your stomach as the two of you lock eyes.

You definitely can't hide the blush heating up your face now. It seems like he is just now processing what he's said and done because his eyes widen as you see his face turn red as well. He lets out a cough, breaking eye contact and staring down at his shoes as he begins to fiddle with his hands. Your gaze lingers on his hands for just a moment before you turn on your heel and head back towards the kitchen table to finish your cereal.

Spencer follows you, hesitantly, leaning against the kitchen counter. There are a few moments of silence before he finally says "I was at a coffee shop just one block over. I had something to ask you so I thought I'd just stop by."

"Like I said before, you are always welcome Spencer. So what is your question?"

"It's probably stupid. You are more than welcome to say no. I probably would if I were you."

You laugh and roll your eyes. "Wow you're really selling me on this, keep going."

"Well... the team they uh, well sometimes they go out for drinks. If I don't go along they never let me hear the end of it. I usually end up sitting b-by myself while they all head to the dance floor. I j-just thought...I thought maybe you might..."

Spencer looks up, surprised to see you smiling and nodding enthusiastically.

"I'd love to. It's been a couple weeks since I've seen everyone. And honestly I could use a few drinks myself."

A toothy grin slowly grows on his face as he bites down on his bottom lip. He does this all the time but for some reason, today, you find your eyes staring at his lips a little too long after he's done this. Wow, he has really nice lips. Like reallyyy nice lips. How had you never noticed? I wonder if he's ever kissed anyone. He's in his thirties, surely he has. But he hasn't really spoken about past relationships. Then again neither had you.

You accidentally held your gaze on him while completely losing yourself in this train of thought. You are brought back to the present by Spencer calling your name. Your eyes quickly dart up to meet his as you realize just how far down the rabbit hole you had allowed your mind to go. You shake your head quickly, pushing these thoughts far away. It's hard enough to find a really great friend who will stick around that you can trust. You had no intention of screwing that up any time soon.

"Sorry! I'm really tired. I guess I just kind of zoned out there for a second." You quickly explain before returning to eating your bowl of cereal.

"Well I guess I should get going...I'll see you tonight?" Spencer starts to head toward the door.

"Wait! Why are you leaving?"

"Oh well I just though, well...I don't know. Are you saying you want to hang out?"

"You're my best friend here Spencer, of course I want to hang out!"

Before long the two of you had the Goblet of Fire ready to go on the TV with an array of snacks strewn across the coffee table. You noticed Spencer didn't sit on the far end of the couch this time. Instead, he sat almost on the middle. You decide to sit next to him, looking at him to make sure he's okay with it. He only gives you a smile, seemingly okay with this new arrangement.

By halfway through the movie, you had somehow ended up sharing one of your large fuzzy blankets and you had scooted close enough together that your head was on his shoulder. He hadn't said anything but you were fairly certain his breathing had changed as you'd done it.

The two of you had never been very touchy so you're not sure what had brought out this side of you today. Your thoughts start to wander again. Maybe it was the compliment he'd given you earlier. Spencer had never called you pretty, but hearing him say it gave you all kinds of nerves. You hadn't really thought about Spencer in that way. It's been years since you'd had a crush on anyone. You've forgotten what that even feels like. Surely that's not what this was. The two of you were just close. It's not like he'd ever be interested. He was a literal genius, an FBI agent, not to mention he was gorgeous. He could have any woman he wanted. Why are you even thinking about this! You don't like Spencer. Geez Y/N, get it together.

After the movie ends, you sit up and look at Spencer. "Do you need time to go home and get ready or will you be ready to leave from here?"

"Oh, I think I'm ready. I can leave and come back if you like?"

"That's silly. You can just wait here while I get ready, unless you have somewhere better to be" you jokingly raise your eyebrows and shove his shoulder. He fakes like he's been hurt, causing you to giggle. Ugh, why are you giggling? You sound like a lovesick schoolgirl.

You quickly stand up and head towards your bedroom before turning around to Spencer. "You are more than welcome to and food and drinks you find, and you can look through and find something on the TV if you'd like."

You take a quick shower and throw on a robe while you fix your hair and make up. You pull out a curling rod. You had a balayage done to your hair earlier that year, so curls really did look best, making the dark to blonde even more blended. As you look through your closet, you decide to pick an outfit that will give you a bit of a confidence boost. You pull on a spaghetti strap snug fitting maroon, velvet dress. It's a little lower cut than you usually wear, but it comes almost to your knees, keeping you from feeling like you've exposed too much skin. The back dipped fairly low, with the top half of your back covered in a piece of lace. After slipping into some strappy black sandals, you look in the mirror and admire the way it accentuates your curves. You'd been blessed with more booty than chest, so luckily you don't have to worry about showing an inappropriate amount of cleavage around Spencer's coworkers. Your legs also looked even more long and slender than usual. Yep, this was the perfect outfit.

You check your makeup in the mirror once more. Dark lipstick with smoky eye shadow and long lashes. You did this for yourself. You liked being able to feel a little bit sexy every once in awhile. You weren't dressing for anyone else. That is what you keep repeating in your head, and you will keep doing that until you believe it.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves before stepping into the living room. Spencer is lying on the couch, reading through the book from your coffee table: Edgar Allen Poe's Complete Works. He's so entranced in the book, he doesn't notice you enter the room. Once he hears the clack of your heels across the floor he finally glances up and does a double take. Eyes wide, he opens his mouth to speak but just shuts it again. You can't help but think this was the reaction you had hoped for. Why were you dressing to impress Spencer? Maybe it's because he thought you were pretty when you were at your worst. You wondered what he would think when you put on your best. Based on the growing redness spreading from his face and down his neck, it's fair to say he liked what he saw. You could have sworn you hear him whisper a "wow" under his breath.

"I feel like I'm underdressed now." He finally speaks up.

"You look fine Spencer!"

"Fine? Fine can't compare with...with this!" He gestures to all of you.

You decide to play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about. I just threw on a dress I thought would fit in with the atmosphere" You shrug. You want to tell him he looks more than fine. That he always looks fantastic, but you decide to keep this to yourself.

"There's nothing wrong with the way you're dressed, but if it bothers you that much I can help." You step forward and look him up and down, trying to figure out the best way to do this.

"You clearly know what you're doing," he laughs. "Go ahead."

"Ok first take off the sweater vest."

Spencer removes his black velvet-like blazer in order to remove a grey, patterned sweater vest. He's left in a dark purple button down with a matching tie, black slacks, and dress shoes.

You step closer and reach out to touch his tie, hesitating for a moment.

"May I?"

He nods for you to go ahead. You remove the tie and undo the top two buttons on his shirt. You then grab his blazer and help him to slip back into it. Lastly, you move your hand up to ruffle his hair a bit. You step back to take in the whole look.

"Well?" he asks.

You roll your tongue to the side of your mouth, biting on it as you try, very poorly, to hold back a smirk. You're impressed with your finished result.

He looks...hot. NO! Stop...nope. We're not going there. He's your best friend. That's all.

He must have noticed the way you've been eyeing him and the look on your face, because he is slowly turning a deep shade of red.

"See for yourself" you say as you lead him over toward a mirror.

After looking over his new appearance, he smiles. You can tell he feels confident like this. Confident Spencer is something you wish you saw more of. You're glad you could help him to see that he can be attractive. You wish he knew that he always has been.

"Come on pretty boy" you say, imitating Derek as you lead the two of you downstairs.

Luckily the bar is well within walking distance from your apartment. When you open the door to step outside the cool night air hits your skin, causing you to shiver a bit. You immediately feel a soft warmth enveloping your arms and shoulders. You look up to see Spencer wrapping his blazer around you. If any other guy had done this, you would certainly make assumptions, but Spencer was such a kind-hearted guy, you know he's only trying to be a gentleman. You give him a quick smile of appreciation as the two of you start to make your way to the bar.

When you finally walk through the doors, you make your way to a corner booth where you see some of Spencer's team...or your friends? You suppose they've really become your friends here. After greeting Penelope, Derek, and JJ each with a hug, you and Spencer walk up to the bar together to order drinks. Spencer orders water, which doesn't surprise you, but you've already decided that he needs a little help letting loose.

"Would you let me pick out a drink for you?" you ask, giving him your sweetest puppy dog eyes before he has a chance to shoot down the offer.

He sighs as though annoyed but his smile says other wise. "Fine, but go easy on me please."

"Two rum and cokes please, and make mine a double."

The two of you make your way back over to the rest of the group with your drinks. You listen to the four of them chat about some recent cases they've worked on. The topics don't bother you much, as you've always found that line of work intriguing. Since you're mostly listening, you finish your drink fairly quickly before Penelope speaks up.

"Enough work talk! I came to dance. Who's with me?"

Finishing your final sip, you slam the glass down on the table. You stand up to join her. "I'm in!"

JJ stands as well. "Alright, lets go, ladies!"

You hand Spencer back his blazer and look to him and Derek, waiting to see if they'll join.

"I'm feeling a little sore after that take down the other day. Maybe I'll join when I'm s a few more drinks in," Derek says.

"I'm okay for now." Spencer sees your hesitation when you realize he wont be joining. "Its okay though! Go and have fun." He gives a smile to let you know that he'll be fine. "Plus I have Morgan here to talk to for now."

"That's right, pretty boy!" Derek laughs as he throws his arm around Spencer, messing with his hair.

You laugh at the two as you turn to join the girls on the dance floor. You're grateful that those two have one another. Spencer is an only child and Derek seems to act in a big brother role. You know that it's good for him.

As you make your way to JJ and Penelope, the DJ is playing Now or Never by Tritonal. You are so grateful for a place that has good taste in music. EDM is just another one of many genres you enjoy. You and the girls are belting out the words together: "I'd rather have one night, than nothing foreveeerrr!"

As the beat builds you pick up your pace on the dance floor, giggling and dancing around with your friends. The beat finally drops and you're jumping and letting loose. You haven't had this much fun in a long time. Towards the end of the song, your gaze lands on Spencer. You notice Derek has left him to flirt with a girl over by the bar. He brought you along so he wouldn't be alone, and here you had left him. You make your way over to sit next to him after ordering two shots. You sit down next to him and slide his over towards him. He catches it as he raises his eyebrows at you.

"C'mon, you're gonna dance with us! I figure it will probably help if you drink to loosen up a bit first."

Spencer stares down at the shot in front of him, clearly questioning whether or not he should go along with this.

"You don't really have to, Spence. But I thought I'd at least try. I don't want you to have to be all alone over here. And I think you might actually have fun, if you gave it a chance. Plus, I can't dance at all! So you'll be fine as long as you stick with me."

This causes him to chuckle. He looks up at you. "Thanks, Y/N. I do appreciate it. I think everyone else has just kind of given up on asking me to join. But since you care enough to try I guess it's the least I can do."

"Woo! yes! Okay...bottoms up?" You look to him as the two of you clink your shots and down them in one quick motion. He seems to struggle a bit more after, since he doesn't do this often.

You hear Dirty Sexy Money comes on and your eyes light up with excitement. "Yes! This is a great song! Come on!" You grab his hand and lead him out to the dance floor.

You can tell Spencer is a bit unsure of himself still. You grab both of his hands and start to move him around, just trying to get him to loosen him. Both of you can't help but laugh. Neither of you are actually dancing well, just goofing off and having fun. Alcohol leaves you with more confidence than usual, so you're singing the song out loud, not caring who hears. You feel your confidence building even more. The problem with drinking is, you tend to get a bit flirty. This is usually directed at the nearest person, and it's usually the worst possible person. You begin to stop caring who's watching or how you're coming across. The song makes you feel sexy and you want to have fun.

Your dancing changes from silly to sexy as the chorus begins. You've got your hands in the air as you do body rolls. Your hips are swaying with the music. You're not sure how they got there, but before you know it your hands are wrapped around Spencer's neck. He looks so attractive to you right now. Your eyes stay locked on his as you sing the words of the song. You're feeling even more bold so you turn your back to him and grab his hands to place them on your sides. You shimmy down towards the ground and back up again. You feel him tighten his grip on you. You turn around to see a wide-eyed Spencer. His face is beet red and he's sweating despite not having danced much. You know that if this was bothering him, he would have walked away. The alcohol is keeping you from caring how this will affect your friendship afterwards. All you can think about is now. His words, his actions today, HE had made you feel confident and sexy. In this moment, you wanted him to know that. You're too buzzed and too busy taking in how good he looks to notice his eyes dart down to your lips, not so differently from what you had done earlier.

The thick tension in the air between you is quickly dispensed as the song changes. As Last Friday Night comes on, you pull Spencer over to the rest of the group on the dance floor, which now included Derek. The five of you end up singing and dancing around together, but you and Spencer can't help but stealing glances when the other isn't looking. Neither of you can forget what happened earlier. The other three share knowing looks.

As the night comes to a close, the group parts ways. Spencer opens the door for you as the two of you step outside to head back to your apartment. Most of the walk is made in silence. He passes his car outside your building and walks with you all the way back to your door. After unlocking it, you turn to him to say goodnight. Once again, your eyes land on his lips, one of his many wonderful features. You find yourself wishing you could kiss him, but your logic tells you this would not be a good idea at the moment. You are aware that your judgment is clouded. So instead, you pull him in for a hug. He buries his face in your shoulder as he whispers "Goodnight Y/N" next to your ear.

You rush inside and close the door before you have a chance to do anything you regret. After getting ready for bed, you are surprised to hear a small alert from your phone. It's a little late for anyone to be texting you. It's Spencer.

Spencer📱I had fun tonight. Thanks for making me try new things. :)

Y/N📱Me too! And good because I have a feeling that was a first of many haha

You fall into your bed, crawling under the covers. It feels comfier than usual, but you know it's because of how tired you are. You take in the feeling of the slick sheets against your skin and the warmth the blankets provide. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, remembering all the events of the night.

A/N: Thanks for reading this far! Y'all are awesome! Let me know what parts you like best!

Have a wonderful week loves 💖

Cruel Summer - Part Five

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Words: 4000ish

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, underage drinking, alcohol, implied smut

Summary: Sweet Pea turns up at your front door with a packed bag and no where else to go. When a few days turns into a couple of weeks, old temptations become a struggle.

Notes: I’m so sorry for how long this took, but I hope this makes the wait worth it!

 He looks up grinning like a devil.

"So let me get this straight..." You watch him cautiously from behind your kitchen counter, taking a minute to replay the last 10 minutes in your head. "Katy kicks you out because of our past and the first place you come is here?"

"Well I couldn't stay at Toni's with Cheryl could I?" His question makes you cringe and you both silently agree that Toni's place wasn't an option. "And Betty would never agree to Jug letting me stay when she's trying to remain impartial to the whole thing."

You let out a sigh, busying yourself with the first thing you can get your hands on just so you don't have to look at him. "I don't think this is a good idea Pea."

"My only other option is to follow Fangs back to Riverdale but my whole life is here now, my job, Katy-" You. He blinks back the thought hoping it won't roll off his tongue as easily as he thinks it. "Please? Just a few days until I can figure something else out?"

His pleading makes you risk a quick glance at him to find him already staring back, eyes full of hope. It makes you wish you hadn't bothered when your heart flutters and you know you won't be able to hold out much longer. "A few days, that's it."

"Thank you." He grins up at you, all perfect white teeth on show and has to refrain himself from rushing up and hugging you.

You smile back at him, lips pressed together tightly to suppress a laugh. He bites his bottom lip as the silence around you grows slightly awkward and you suddenly jump into action. "Did you want something to drink? I've got tea, coffee-"

"Anything stronger?" He cuts you off as his eyes flicker to your half empty wine glass on the coffee table in front of him then back to you.

"I'll grab another glass."

-

He lifts the wine glass to his lips, takes one big gulp and thinks about pouring another glass. Between the two of you, you'd finished off three bottles yet he still felt nervous at the thought of his next question.  "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." You lean back on the sofa, your legs tucked underneath you and one hand under your chin. You watch as he debates how to say what he wants to, feeling a lot more relaxed than when he first got there.

"You and Fangs, did you... are you?" His words come out in a mess and he isn’t sure whether it’s the alcohol or his embarrassment. He feels stupid, it shouldn’t bother him but the idea makes his heart sink.

"Sleeping together?" You giggle loudly and for some reason it makes him laugh too. "God no."

He’s so relieved he lets go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding and starts to ramble again. "I just thought with you guys sharing a room, and I saw you in the car, then there was Katy and Ronnie all weekend-"

"Pea I would never." Your hand falls to his knee in what’s meant to be a sincere gesture but he flinches under your touch and it makes you regret it.

You're ready to pull it back and pretend it never happened when he covers your hand with his own to stop you, his eyes watching his own thumb drawing circles on your skin. "Good."

"Why?" You feel yourself gravitating towards him and you know you shouldn’t ask the next question but you do anyway. "Were you jealous?"

"What would you say if I was?" A few seconds of silence follows, his body moving forward an inch or two. He licks his lips in anticipation and you're sure your hearts about to burst out of your chest.

"I'd tell you, you were being stupid." That’s all he needs to hear to move again, your lips almost touching. You notice the way his breath catches in his throat, and whisper, with your palms against his chest. "We shouldn't do this."

"We definitely shouldn't do this." You knew there was a million reasons not to, but not a single one comes to mind at that moment, you were too distracted by the way he was looking at you, and how he good he smelt up close.

His lips met yours with such need, such desperation that you can’t help but give in immediately.

-

You wake up to the smell of bacon and an overwhelming sense of guilt.

You try not to think about the night before but it's hard to forget the feel of his hands on your thighs or his lips on your neck.

Or how good it felt.

You open your eyes to find his side of the bed empty and you're part relived, part disappointed.

So you shut them again instantly, pulling the covers over your head with a groan and wonder how long you can get away with hiding out in your room.

You last 11 minutes and 26 seconds before you can't ignore the rumbling in your stomach anymore and force yourself up.

You find Sweet Pea in the kitchen, shirtless back facing you as he leans over the stove.

Your heart stops when you see him like that. You've come a long way since you were teenagers playing house in his trailer but sometimes it's liked nothing’s changed at all.

You lean back against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest and watch him move around effortlessly like he belongs there. "Are you making breakfast?"

"Your favourite." He smiles warmly when you join him at the breakfast bar and then something clicks and he suddenly realises that this isn't his kitchen, and he hadn't asked before he helped himself. "I hope that's okay?"

"It's fine I just-" You can feel the heat burning your cheeks as you take in what he just said. It surprised you to hear he still remembers little details. "You still remember my favourite breakfast?"

"Of course." He states with a bashful grin, sliding the freshly made food in your direction. There’s something comfortable about his gesture and once again you’re reminded of your teenage years.

Memories you’d spent the last three months wishing you’d forget.

"Thanks." Your eyes don't leave the plate as you try desperately to gain some courage. "So we should probably talk about last night."

"Right last night." He turns his back on you again, making it impossible to read his reaction and the pressure on your chest becomes even more unbearable. You search your mind for all the things you need to say but it all seems impossible.

"Pea it was a mistake." The words end up coming out in a blur, like ripping a band aid clean off, fast and quick. You can hardly make sense of them yourself. It’s far from anything you’d hoped it would sound like. "We can't do it again."

"You're right, it won't happen again." You pretend to ignore the slight quiver in his voice as he agrees with you, his hands gripping the work top. When he turns back around he's still smiling but his eyes look anything but happy. "Let's just forget about it."

-

You know it's a bad idea before you do it.

You don't know why you slip into his t-shirt that's somehow mixed in with your own clean washing a week after he'd moved in, but the way it falls to your thighs makes you smile anyway.

You don't hear his keys in the door, too busy in the kitchen with a spatula that doubles as a microphone to notice.

It isn't until you're on to the chorus, dancing along with the lyrics that he can't control his laughter and blows his cover leaving you frozen to the spot. "Don't stop on my account."

"This is so embarrassing." Your body feels like it’s on fire from his teasing and you pray for the ground to open up and swallow you to avoid your awkwardness. "I thought you were at work."

"Early finish." His beaming grin turns into more of a smirk and there's a playful glint in his eyes that you can't miss.

Your gaze follows his to your current choice of clothing and you're even more mortified than before. "I should probably get changed."

"I wouldn't complain if you didn't." Your draw drops slightly as he shoots you a wink, leaving you speechless as he walks backwards towards his room. "My shirt looks good on you by the way."

You can’t shake the look he was giving you for the rest of the day.

-

"Pea I home!" You’re barely managing to juggle everything in your arms as you call out to him. Somehow a few days had turned into two weeks and he didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. "I grabbed takeout if you want any!"

You don’t hear him coming but you can sense how close he is behind you, the warmth of his breath tickling your neck and sending a shiver down your spine. "Chinese food and left-over cupcakes, you're too good to me."

"And you're naked." Your eyes are wide when you turn to face him, and you can feel your chest heave slightly at the sight.

"I have a towel on if that helps." He takes a step closer and you take one back. But that doesn’t stop your eyes from following the water droplets that fall from his shoulders, over his chest and down his stomach.

You don’t need to look at his face to know he’s well aware of the affect he has on you right now.

"It doesn't." You roll your eyes, but he knows you don’t mean it. He just laughs instead, backing off so you can plate up. But it doesn’t stop your mind from wondering or have your heart beating any slower.

His little games were starting to become relentless.

-

Three weeks in and it’s hard to remember what your apartment was like before Sweet Pea moved in.

He’d invaded every inch of home. He never put the remote back in its place, he always left wet towels on the bathroom floor and you continuously tripped over shoes he left in the weirdest of places yet you knew you wouldn’t change a thing.

Except maybe the part where Katy hadn’t talked to you since the weekend at the cabin.

But that stings too much to think about.

You can feel him watching you from his claimed spot on the couch as you frantically search the living room for your one lost earring and mumbling words he can’t make out.

"You look nice." His compliment makes you smile and you pretend it because you’ve found you’re missing jewelry rather than the swarm of butterflies his words have set off. “Girls night?"

You can hear the underlying hopefulness in his voice and suddenly your chest feels tight. You can’t look him in the eye when you answer. "Actually, I have a date."

"Oh." His face drops when the idea of you on a date with someone else catches him off guard. He struggles to pull himself back together and the smile he forces is almost painful. "Well have fun."

"I will, don't wait up." You grab the rest of your stuff as fast as you can and leave without looking back.

-

Despite you telling him not to, he stays in the living room, thoughts wondering to where you might be, who you were with, what were you doing. He falls asleep pretending to watch TV, too anxious to go to bed until you wake him up stumbling in at 1am.

"Y/N?" The first thing he notices are how your eyes are red and glazed over, not just from the alcohol he can smell on you from where he’s sat, but from the tears that are still wet on your cheeks. "Are you okay?"

"Turns out my date was a jerk." You laugh without humor, throwing yourself down next to him and kicking your shoes off so aggressively they fly across the room. Your head lolls to the side and he can tell by the way you’ve started to slur that you’re drunk. More tears fall and he starts to panic.  

"What happened? Did he hurt you?" The idea terrifies him, and he tries to keep any anger at bay while he checks you over.

You just pushe herself further into the cushions, hoping they would just make you disappear. You felt so stupid right now. "No, turns out he no interest in me at all, just thought I'd be easy to get into bed."

"I'm sorry." He pulls you into him, an arm wrapped around your shoulder. He’s desperate to do anything to comfort you and make the crying stop.

"Why does everything have to be so complicated?" You move into him, tucking yourself into his side and mumble into his shirt.

"What do you mean?" His fingers absentmindedly work their way through your hair, and he notices the way it calms your breathing.

You sigh dramatically, hiding your face. "It doesn't matter, I can't tell you."

"You can tell me anything." His honesty makes you smile.

"It's just I..." You trail off, unsure whether to go on. "I just want someone to love me, is that too much to ask for?"

"Of course not." His chest aches. You deserved the world, you always had in his eyes. And he had loved you, so much at one point. In fact, he was sure that part of him would always love you no matter where either of you ended up or who you ended up with. But he couldn’t tell you that so he sighed sadly and hoped you wouldn’t notice the subject change. "We should get you to bed."

You don’t put up a fight, just let him help you up. No one says another word until you’re laying in bed and you catch his hand when he starts to walk away.

"Stay." Your voice cracks with the word and he feels his heart break. He hates seeing you like this, hates seeing you look so vulnerable and he knows he could never leave you like it.  

So he climbs in next to you and falls asleep with you wrapped in his arms.

-

After five beers and two questionable shots, Sweet Pea eyes hazily scan the bar to find you giggling on the dancefloor with Toni. It reminds him of late-night weekends at the Wyrm, feeling rebellious sipping on alcohol underage and spending hours on the pool table until you were all kicked out.

He swears he can pinpoint the sound of your laughter over the music and he realises how beautiful you truly are. You’d changed so much over the years that it hits him how much he’d actually missed you.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” He realises Fangs had been watching him watch you, and the knowing looking he was giving him made him chuckle with nerves.

He starts fumbling with the sticker on his bottle and decides to play dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m not stupid Pea, you can’t take your eyes off her.” Fangs, never being one to give up, pushes further, determine to get the answers he’s looking for. “And she keeps looking back.”

Sweet Pea just shakes his head, and takes a sip of his drink before answering. “It’s not that simple.”

“Isn’t it? Because seeing you two together, the four of us all being here-“ Sweet Pea knows what his best friends about to say before he says it, he feels it too. A sense of remembrance that’s been following him around for the last few weeks. “It’s like nothings ever changed.”

“Sometimes I think the same.” He admits, blowing out a breath.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Sweet Pea looks over him and realises he can’t answer, he’s starting to forget why he’s still holding back.

As if on cue, Toni makes her way towards them and pulls them both back into the crowd with her. You smile when you see him, he doesn’t know why it catches him off guard, but he can barely focus when you grab his hand and pull him closer to you.

And that’s how it starts.

Your back against his chest, swaying along with the music, his fingertips brushing up and down your sides.

Then it's his hand on your back, never moving as you weave your way to the bar, sharing a look that says a thousand things.

It's the way you fingers intertwine in the darkness of the cab, still staying locked together while you race each other to the right floor.

And then finally it's the way his lips meet yours the minute you're inside, bodies pressed up against the apartment door, pulling at each other's clothes like there's not a single minute you can waste. His mouth trails down your skin leaving purple marks behind, the more you scratch at his bare shoulders or tug on his hair the more he leaves.

This time he won't let you forget it.

This time, he hopes it won't be a mistake.

-

This time when you wake up, there’s no smell of bacon from the kitchen, and his side of the bed isn’t empty.

His arms tighten around you almost as if he can sense you’re awake and smiles automatically into your neck. “Morning.”

“Morning.” His skin is warm against yours and you can’t help but relax into him.

“So is this the part where you tell me this was all a mistake again?” You turn to see the smile on his face has turned into one of sadness and you run a hand through his messy bed hair.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Your voice is barely a whisper but you keep your eyes locked on his.

“I know. But what if there’s a way around it?” There’s a moment of silence between you as he struggles to piece his thoughts together. “What if we just both promise to leave any emotions out of it?”

He’s surprised when you practically laugh in his face and he thinks you are too. You look at him like he’s lost his mind and honestly, he isn’t afraid to admit that he does feel a little crazy right now. “Are you saying you want some kind of friends with benefits deal here?”

“Worth a try.” He shrugs in a last attempt to convince you.

“Pea I-“ You start with the intention of turning him down but one hopeful smile and you’re caving before you can even get the words out. “Screw it.”

It’s his turn to laugh as he pulls your leg up over his and kisses you in a way that steals all air from your lungs.

-

It's three weeks into your arrangement, when the doubts start.

It begins as a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach, like a distant thought in the back of your mind that you can't quite remember.

It isn't until the start of the fourth week that the doubt turns into full blown panic and you realise exactly what it is.

You barely remember the journey to the store and back, just the way your hands shook the entire time as your mind can't seem to focus.

You drink water until you're sure you might throw up and disappear into the bathroom for the most terrifying wait of your life.

You're still in a state of shock 10 minutes later, you don't even hear him come home.

"I'm sorry I didn't-" The way Sweet Pea bursts into the bathroom has you jumping out of your skin, eyes blowing wide. "Uh what's that?"

You couldn't find the words to explain, couldn't will your body to react and hide the evidence in your hands. So you just stood there, feet frozen in place, too scared to move. You assumed the look on his face mirrored your own as he stared back at you, opened mouthed, neither of you breathing in the tense seconds that followed.

"Are you..." He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence, didn't even want to think about the possibility.

"I don't know." Your voice is weak, betraying how scared you really are and Sweet Pea deflates. "It's got five minutes left."

He says nothing as he watches you slide to the floor, joining you a few seconds later. He laces his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand in what's meant to be a comforting unspoken gesture, but it only makes you want to cry. "What are we doing here Pea?"

"I don't know." He admits, his words an echo of yours a moment before. His chin balances on top of your head as it falls to his shoulder.

"What if it's positive?" You bury your face further into his neck, too afraid of the answer while trying to hide the embarrassment at your own stupidity.

"We'll figure it out." The ache in your chest eases slightly at his honesty but before you can say anything else a knock on the door has you breaking apart. "Should I get?"

"Ignore it, maybe they'll go away." But the knocking only gets more persistent and Sweet Pea’s frustration gets the better of him.

"I'll go answer, it's probably for you. I'll tell who ever it is you aren't here." He mumbles with the intention of getting rid of the visitor as quickly as possible, but his eyes meet a pair of familiar green ones the minute he opens the door and suddenly he can’t say anything at all.

"Nate." She breaths out, a smile growing on her lips. They hadn’t interacted at all since she’d thrown him out and everything hits him like a ton of bricks. "Hi."

“Katy?” You make your way out into the living room, blinking to make sure she’s really there and suddenly you can’t look in Sweet Pea’s direction.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She pushes straight past him to wrap her arms around your neck, but the hugs not nearly as comforting as you remember it to be. Sweet Pea’s gaze is hot on your skin, silently asking the question that hangs in the air between you and you shake your head briefly in a way to tell him the test had been negative. “But do you mind if I steal Nate first? We can talk later, put this all behind us?”

“Sure.” There’s an ache in your throat that makes your voice sound off but if she noticed her face doesn’t give it away when she finally pulls back. You feel like you’re a ticking time bomb of guilt, ready to explode at any second and suddenly, you can’t breathe. You had to get out. “You guys talk here, I’ll give you spare.”

You dart out of the front door before either can stop you, holding back your tears until you’re on the sidewalk.

-

When you get back they're both gone, alongside any trace of Sweet Pea ever living in your apartment in the first place. It's all replaced by a single letter that you don't have the stomach to read. A letter that you shove into a bedroom draw to become forgotten and start to go on with your life like the last 2 months hadn’t happened.

Sweet Pea Masterlist

Forever Taglist: @p-marie-sp

Cruel Summer Taglist: @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @luvlilreinhart @intoxicatedsixx @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @shembonzi @elliebear27 @ireadthatswhyimhere @nicole13letson @swangstopazx @waitingtobeimpressed @ornate-ribcage @armadaextra @elliemaemusicals

Sweet Pea Taglist: @80sand90simagine @wildberryyyy @hopelesslylosttheway

Guess what just dropped in Obey Me.

I'll give you a hint: it starts with a ‘L’ and ends with a ‘39’...

Then again, you probably already know this, but just in case you don't...

In other news, I finally decided to go and complete Lesson 31, so yay me. Now I'm just gonna stay on Lesson 32 for a bit.

-Lesson 31 32 Anon

Proud of you for graduating past 31!!!👏💖

I played 39 and im sobbing?!? I already went through this bs why do I havta do it again!!!!? Also do you think lesson 40 will be the last lesson for a while?

Spoilers for 39 ahead cause I'm emotional and need to rant

So MC ends up at a party at diavolo's, he thanks them for saving Lucifer and the devildom (pretty sure that was all just simeon's doing but whatever) and says he's holding a party in their honour (really should be in Simeon's honour but whatever)

MC has a flashback about what happened after they woke up during the whole ring and speaking to Michael (and hopefully not God) thing. The rest of the brothers all rush in yelling, asking if MC is okay cause beel saw a light from the celestial realm coming from their room, Lucifer yells at them to shut up and they realise he's regained his memories

Mammon who's the first one who came in, arrived while yelling and asking if MC was alright, if they had died and if they had vanished....sure hope lesson 16 didn't leave any lasting scars there...

Back in the present time the brothers are crowding around MC and Lucifer. Belphie & Satan note how they'll miss Lucifer with amnesia and how they'll have to get back to pranking him. Asmo calls them out about actually caring about Lucifer.

Diavolo asks MC for a dance, and has one of those dialogues that make me think he'll be a romanceable character in the future. He tells MC how they're helping him bring the three worlds together and how they're his guiding light and how he wants them by his side forever, except before he finishes that last sentence the song ends and Luke cuts in. When MC tries to leave he grabs on to their hand, and you can either say 'ow that hurts' or ask him if he wants a second dance. If you choose the second he blushes and you dance again but he doesn't finish his sentence from earlier

The next morning Lucifer is nagging everyone even more than normal (possibly to make up for lost time) but at the same time he seems even closer with the brothers (asking about Levi's game and Asmo's crush)

On the way to rad MC meets up with the angels and Solomon. Solomon says that they'll have to be leaving soon to their own worlds (why!!!?) Luke and MC both get visibly bummed. They tease Luke and tell him he can live in the devildom if he wishes (he denies it) and Solomon asks MC if they want to leave MC can either say they don't wanna leave the brothers or 'the human world fuckinh sucks what the fuck have you been up there recently it's the worst' (since we got those 'hang in there' pandemic voice messages from the brothers can we assume that this game happens in the present? Y'all really wanna throw MC back out there?)

At rad MC tells this to asmo, beel and mammon (I imagine they do this while facedown on a desk cause that's the only appropriate response rn)

They're all upset and MC says they don't ever want to leave. The brothers tell them to go tell this to Diavolo after RAD.

MC goes and tells this to diavolo (in the presence of Lucifer & barbatos). Lucifer & diavolo aren't surprised and were both expecting this. They tell MC that they are happy that they made such lasting connections and that hey want them to stay as well (yesyesyes-) but (MOTHERFU-) MC is a human and belongs with the humans and that they don't have to leave immediately but that they have a life in the human world anhddjdidndjx do y'all not remember when they were moping around in the human world and how they literally jumped at the chance to come back down to the devildom with no preparation at all???? Y'all remember how asmo noted that they had got thinner after they came back????? Can you pls just ask them if they have anything worth going back to!?

Anyway MC's back home moping around in the library with Belphie and Levi. They tell MC that Lucifer & Diavolo are just playing hard to get and want MC to stay as well but think their positions mean they can't ask for it.

Belphie says that if MC can learn teleportation magic they could constantly drop down to the devildom

MC invites Solomon out to a fancy date and asks him to teach them teleportation magic. He tells them that though their raw magic power surpasses his, they don't have the skill yet and that he'll teach them but teleportation magic usually takes years to learn.

He tells them that usually when making pacts with demons they are done in the human world and a ritual must be conducted. At the end of the ritual a demon may give the human what is most dear to them and the human can use it as a token to summon the demon at any given time (while this is great and all I need my family feels and it'll probably not be practical to summon all 7 of them at a time....maybe MC can summon Lucifer and show him how bad life can be when you're (probably) someone in their mid twenties with no attachments or consistent job and he'll feel sorry for them and whisk them back home?)

Asmo had given Solomon is favourite picture of himself. Except back in their times cameras didn't exist so really it's a large portrait of himself. Solomon says it's a real problem (and I'm cackling, imagine bringing someone home and you have a -knowing asmo- giant probably vaguely sexual picture of some guy on your wall!!!?)

Back home MC meets Satan first (he's being crushed under a collapsed mountain of books after Lucifer told him to clean his room) MC helps him not die and clean his room. He gives them the body switch book (remember that!!!!) He says its power's all gone so it's basically worthless but he still treasures it because of what it did for him (I'm not crying!) He tells MC that even though they'll be able to summon him, he'll still miss them and that he won't be able to be with them when he wants to and it's all really sad and meaningful and I'm okay I swear. You get a choice to either kiss or hug him. Even if you choose to hug him he tells MC he wants to always be with them

Lucifer has asked asmo to throw out all the clothes he doesn't use (the reason lucfier is an undateable option to me is cause he reminds me too much of my own family) and now Asmo's struggling with 10 packed boxes of clothes. MC helps and asmo tells them that Solomon told him about everything. He tells them that he can't give the things dearest to him 'cause those things are himself and MC. MC suggests taking a picture together.

After taking pictures in his room they tell him that now they'll miss each other less and he gets teary eyed and tells them that as long as they're not with him he'll still miss them and he asks them to summon him whenever they want even if that means everyday, he asks them never to forget him (lucifer why the fuck are you putting your family and yourself through so much pain just let the human stay!) you get to stroke his hair and he says he'll miss not getting physical affection from MC whenever he wants to.

(There should probably be ways to get the option to kiss asmo and belphie but I couldn't get them in my first play through and I didn't want to immediately do all that again to check out other options)

MC finds Belphie hiding in the music room from Lucifer who has asked him to clean up the attic (imagine asking someone to clean up the place you locked them up in???? I mean ik Belphie likes the attic now but that's still all kinds of messed up)

MC and belphie head to the planetarium and watch the stars belphie says that MC has a look on their face that means they want to ask him something. You can either immediately dive into the whole summoning thing or tell him you want to be by his side forever. He tells MC about their stars, which he spoke about in s1, he tells them each of his brothers has a star and even though he lives with them when he comes and looks at their stars altogether he feels closer with them/like they're all together. So he gives MC his star. MC gets to say all these things about how they don't wanna leave him and wish they could stay together forever, they hold hands and there's this gorgeous visual & line of dialogue

And well that's it. If mc has to leave and if all the brothers' interactions are like this my heart will be well and truely broken

My thoughts on... Scripting Your Destiny

Release date: March 16, 2021

Episodes: 10

Available on: Viki

Summary: Every human is born with a book that records each moment of their life and that we call destiny. Shin Ho Yoon is one of the many deities in charge of writing those books, known among the gods for his meticulous approach to his work. For his latest project, the destiny of the mortal Jeong Ba Reum, he intends to write a masterpiece, a perfect destiny, pairing him with his first love, Go Che Gyeong, a scriptwriter for successful, if over-the-top, makjangs like Marriage Pact and Sky Cash. However, when Che Gyeong doesn't fall for the fateful encounter that he wrote, he decides to take matters into his own hands and bluntly approaches her to find out how to get her to fall in love. As the two begin to develop feelings for each other, the perfect destiny envisioned for Ba Reum threatens to disappear and a new destiny between a god and a mortal begins to emerge. But can a god of destiny write his own fate?

Rewatch meter: Medium

WARNING: Spoilers beyond this point.

Characters

From left to right: Park Sang Nam as Shin Myeong; Ki Do Hoon as Shin Ho Yoon; Jeon So Nee as Go Che Gyeong; Kim Woo Seok as Jeong Ba Reum; and Gal So Won as Samshin.

Overall, I liked the leads and most of the supporting characters. As far as the leads are concerned, I think Ki Do Hoon was able to deliver a good performance of what a god of destiny might, or perhaps should, be like: standoffish, emotionless, uninterested in the mortal realm beyond the scope of his duties. As such, Shin Ho Yoon feels the more godly of the different deities in the show, what is curious considering he's probably one of the youngest gods of destiny, what is explained through his cycle of rebirth. I wish the writer and the actor had made full use of this cycle by having the character of Shin Ho Yoon grow more emotionless as a result, what would explain why he's different from other gods. Perhaps this was intended, but if so, the results are mixed. You can see he was more impulsive in the beginning of his cycle as a god of destiny than he was, say, at the beginning of the show. However, the last incarnation we're shown of Ho Yoon, in Episode 10, appears to be more upbeat than any of his previous ones, a fact that could've been used to feed into the notion that something has changed (more on that later) and that's why he's having fun at the expense of the "newbies."

Jeon So Nee as Go Che Gyeong was very good throughout, standing out from her male counterpart, perhaps due to the nature of her character that allowed her to show more range. I never found her to be over-the-top, and she was able to pull off the comedic and emotional scenes very well. She also passed off as a high-schooler better than Ki Do Hoon, despite the fact that she's five years his senior, but I guess that's the power of female hairstyles! My only complaint about her character is that I wish she had been a little more creative writing her own fate. I mean, she is a talented scriptwriter that even a god stole from.

Park Sang Nam's Shin Myeong had good chemistry with Ki Do Hoon's Shin Ho Yoon, echoing the Goblin-Reaper duo from Goblin, what should come as no surprise as writer Kim Eun Sook is a producer for this show. They even paid homage to that iconic walking scene in the first episode. Unlike Ho Yoon, Myeong comes across as less devoted to his duties and more lazy. He himself admits to a disapproving Samshin that he copy-pastes destinies, but also makes an interesting point about only writing main events so that humans can fill in the gaps themselves. I'll let you decide whether this is really his intention or just an attempt to placate Samshin's anger. Consequently, his transition from a somewhat lazy god to a more serious one towards the end of the show was unexpected, but I guess it stands to reason given his worries about Ho Yoon, plus one shouldn't forget he's actually the older god. I do believe the show wasted an incredible opportunity to have Shin Myeong be the linchpin of our story.

Ho Yoon shields precious Samshin from Myeong's words on how to passionately express love.

As for the characters of Jeong Ba Reum and Samshin, I can say the former was functional to the plot and gets immediately sidelined once that function is completed, while the latter definitely stole every scene she was in (and she's 14!). I would've loved to have seen more of her, even though I feel her arc was a little disconnected from the overall storyline and could've been tied better if the last episode had gone in a different direction.

Execution

What if that something are meteorites?

The show has a lot of fun making fun of kdrama tropes, either through Che Gyeong's job as a scriptwriter or through the gods of destiny themselves, who take turns between being writers and viewers when coming up with the destinies of mortals. When Ho Yoon is having trouble understanding "the depth within humans which is beyond divine comprehension" (aka love), Myeong steps in to give him some advice on how "For love to happen you need to isolate them," stranding the pair in an island somewhere and having them stay in an inn with only one room available. Other gems from Shin Myeong include, "They got rained on, they're cold, their clothes are soaked. If they start a fire, we're 90% there." and "A woman always falls for a man who takes care of her when she's sick. Under one condition. He has to be good-looking." If you ask me, I think Myeong has been watching too many kdramas. Unfortunately for him, so has Che Gyeong, who makes her living writing them.

Are they gods or kdrama fans?

As you can see, there's a lot of comedy to be found in the gods' numerous, and failed, attempts to get Ba Reum and Che Gyeong together. However, as I mentioned before, the character of Ba Reum is mostly functional. We learn little to nothing of who he is, how his life has been, what his dreams are, what is a bit off considering he's supposed to be Ho Yoon's "masterpiece." With Ho Yoon and Che Gyeong slowly starting to get closer, as the former tries his best to understand the nebulous concept of love, Ba Reum falls into the background, what isn't really much of a shame as he doesn't contribute a whole lot in the second half of the show, to the point he could've been taken out completely with slight rewrites here and there.

The writing is similarly flimsy when it comes to the rules of the universe. For instance, early on it is stated that whatever gets written on a fate book cannot be erased, and yet when a character accidentally spills coffee on his fate book the ink on the page vanishes as if it were Voldemort's diary (there is also another instance of writing mysteriously vanishing that isn't explained). In another case, it is stated that anyone who knew a certain character got their memories of that character erased, yet one (very secondary) character still seems to be able to recall everything. These sort of plot contrivances are odd in that they are unnecessary and could've been worked around with relative ease.

It means we have a problem, that's what it means.

Another, more important, mystery that doesn't get explained is how Ho Yoon is able to "resurrect" multiple times. One of the rules of the universe states that any god who interferes with mortals, beyond the scope of their duties, and develops feelings for them, gets the Thanos treatment. However, it is eventually revealed that Shin Ho Yoon got the boot several times for this and yet was able to return every single time, with his memories erased. No explanation is provided for this and, instead, the show suggests, in the last scene of the last episode, that this is the case for all gods, as we see a couple of them return from extinction.

Personally, I feel there was a lot of potential left untapped here and this relates directly to my comment on how Shin Myeong should've been the linchpin of the entire story. If you'll recall the web drama One More Time, the reason why the male lead was stuck in a time loop was because of a contradiction that arose in the terms of the contract made between the female lead and the Grim Reaper. In a similar vein, I think the show could've suggested that Myeong first met Ho Yoon as a human kid and maybe wrote for him a fate that implied him falling in love or something similar. However, the human Ho Yoon died before that fate could occur and so became the god of destiny Shin Ho Yoon, destined to continuously "resurrect" until he could embrace his fate. A loophole such as this one could've neatly explained Ho Yoon's rebirth cycle.

The ending itself was a little underwhelming and it's easy to understand why, as it it suggested that Ho Yoon and Che Gyeong are stuck in an endless loop of the former falling in love with the latter and vanishing, with Che Gyeong being the only one able to remember all of their interactions. As fates go, it's rather depressing so it doesn't really jibe well when the show's upbeat main theme starts playing at the end. When I did my episode recaps for the show I suggested that, with some rewrites, we could've made Episode 9 the series finale and the show would've been better for it. How?

Imagine at some point in the show both characters remember everything, perhaps at that wind/lamb farm where Che Gyeong desperately calls out for Ho Yoon who, instead of running to her, walks away out of fear of vanishing for good this time. I would've planted seeds throughout the show suggesting Ho Yoon is developing emotions yet isn't vanishing from some inexplicable reason, and there are already some seeds of this in place. Perhaps he has a talk with Myeong about how strange that is and decides to see how far he can take it. The show would end as Episode 9 did, with Ho Yoon returning to Che Gyeong and asking for a caramel macchiato, the most expensive item. They both smile at the reference to their past encounter and we cut to credits with the main theme playing in the background. Ho Yoon's actions could serve to inspire other gods of destiny to try and write their own fates, like how Samshin (even though she's not a god of destiny) follows in his footsteps and decides to attend school.

Music

If you've read any of my reviews, you know that, usually, all of my recommended shows are accompanied by a soundtrack that not only has good music in it but that is used at the right time. This show has some very good tracks that stand out from their more atmospheric counterparts, such as Lee So Jung's "Skyline" (the show's main theme), Jeong Sewoon's "Time Machine," and Yongmin Ryu's "Chaotic." As far as instrumentals tracks are concerned, the obvious standout bar none is "The Deity of Fate." Other instrumental tracks aren't bad but they just can't hold a candle to this magical piece by Yongmin Ryu that has traces of Hotel del Luna's excellent soundtrack.

A couple of examples that prove how these tracks are expertly used include the end of Episode 7, that shows us how Ho Yoon and Che Gyeong first met through a flashback, with "The Deity of Fate" followed by "Skyline," and another scene in Episode 9, where Ho Yoon recalls his past and we see a quick transition between different days at Che Gyeong's coffee shop as she serves him a caramel macchiato, with "Time Machine" playing in the background. However, in the same way Ho Yoon conjures up a magenta pink moon to distract Che Gyeong, I do believe the show sometimes relies on such scenes to divert your attention from some of its plot holes or inconsistencies, hoping their beauty and poetic nature will thwart any deeper analysis that it might not withstand. It's up to you to decide whether you can let it slide or not.

Conclusions

In short, Scripting your Destiny is a fun show that doesn't take itself too seriously and that successfully creates a universe and characters I'd love to see more of, while trying to convey a timeless love story that has elements of One More Time, Goblin, and Angel's Last Mission: Love. I don't believe it succeeds in this respect, certainly nowhere close to the OTPs in any of those shows, in no small part because Shin Ho Yoon never makes that transition from deity to boyfriend that is present in shows like Goblin and Angel's Last Mission: Love. The romance between Shin Ho Yoon and Go Che Gyeong is one that looks good on paper and should've translated better to the screen. Having said that, their interactions are quite fun to watch and one could certainly envision a future where the two become a couple, provided Ho Yoon somehow manages to stop getting lobotomized. It's a shame but the series finale makes it lose several points as it doesn't make the most of the show's premise or message.

Would I recommend it? If you've watched and enjoyed the other shows I mentioned, yes, absolutely. Despite its flaws, which can be considered relatively minor to an extent (this is a web drama after all), Scripting your Destiny is still a much better investment than many kdramas and at a fraction of their time, and the comedy value of seeing how it makes fun of kdrama tropes again and again cannot be discounted. You're bound to have a good laugh for sure. Additionally, it features some gorgeous and creative (look at that last picture!) VFX-enhanced sets that rival fantasy dramas like Tale of the Nine-Tailed, which definitely had a larger budget and tried to recapture some of that Goblin magic but couldn't. And if you haven't watched the shows I mentioned watch this one anyway so we can have more good web or mini dramas (Handmade Love is an excellent one that runs the length of a movie) that give kdramas a run for their money. Until the next one!

"I promise I'll love you even with my broken heart"

What's love?

It has been the question on  14 years old Soyeon's mind as she watched her friend running in the backyard of the orphanage, the shorter girl following the female figure up close as both of them make their way to the tree house that the tallest among them declared as hers.

They went up the stairs and made themselves comfortable surrounded by memories they had hung on the wood walls, they even used to play darts with the picture of the principal of the orphanage as they talked about the families that had visited them that day

Soyeon listened careful as her dearest friend was on and on about an special Chinese family that caught her attention, seems like a perfect match with a lovely mom, a kind dad and an impatient younger daughter by the name Yuqi.

And as Soyeon kept hearing her friend, she began to confirm to herself that the girl in front of her was the only home she got and needed, for the gummy smiled girl, her friend was everything and wished for it to stay that way.

They knew both of them were already old to be adopted, being teens, complicated their situation, knowing that when they turn 18, the orphanage won't be able to host them anymore, it was the reason why they got a backup plan.

If that day came, they will live together, both of them will work their asses out to have a decent life and the most important of it, they will be together.

 When her friend finished her description they did their ritual to end the day, toasting with their red cups with some 7up in them and cheered for better days to come and to keep their friendship no matter what.

Don't take her wrong she was happy that her friend was finally able to have the family she had always wished but on the other side Soyeon felt alone, who was going to be her partner in crime now? 

But life is never what a person expected to be and by the second month Soyeon got one of the saddest news she had heard...

her friend got adopted.

After the new spreeded, two more weeks were given to them, as a way of closure but as they said they farewells in their tree house they also made a promise to keep in touch as they raised their traditional 7up red cups and tears fell from their eyes, they hugged each other and silently both of them repeated

"No matter when, no matter how we will find each other" 

Soyeon watched her long friend walking outside the orphanage, being welcome by her now parents and sister as they helped her to hop onto the car all this as her eyes were clouded by her tears and her heart felt empty and numb.

For Soyeon life was never easy after that, even though every Friday she received a letter from her friend, after another three years passed the dream of a family faded away when the principal announced her she will have to leave on her next birthday.

She walked out of the orphanage with nothing more than just a suitcase in her hand and a bag hanging from her shoulder, and once again, she was alone.

The orphanage helped her to find a job as a waitress in a Thai restaurant and a small apartment to live in on her own just a block away from her workplace, it wasn't much but for the first time in her life she had something that it was hers, and with her first salary received she bought a necessary cellphone to keep in touch with her friend although sometimes it was difficult.

At the restaurant Soyeon saw Minnie, the owner's daughter with who she began to develop a good friendship too, the girl was younger than her but they had got along since the day they met.

On the other side her childhood friend had won the lottery, her family loved her a lot and offered her the opportunity to travel and also supported her on her dreams to became a dancer.

The last time they talked her friend talked her about a Taiwanese girl she had met on her dancing studio and for some reason Soyeon felt sad as she heard the happy voice on the other line.

After a long year of work Soyeon finally could met up with her friend, she had invited her to a collage party, inviting Minnie along, so Soyeon dress up for the occasion, a ripped jeans, white shirt and a black leather jacket on top as black leather ankle boots completed her outfit.

They arrived to the direction given and found a house full of drunk people on the front yard and loud music reached her ears. Shyly Soyeon and Minnie got inside, Soyeon looking with her eyes to her friend,  almost not recognizing her partner in crime which hair was red now.

Both of them looked each other back and forth before the red haired girl ran to Soyeon's direction throwing her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist as the koala bear girl expressed how much she had missed her.

-Soyeon omg I'm so glad that you are here, come you have to meet my friends - an excited redhead welcomed Soyeon as she dragged her by the arm to meet the other people in the room

- I'm glad to see you again too Soojin- was Soyeon unheard answered with a Minnie clinged to her waist.

- here, this is Hui, Yuto, Miyeon and guys where is she?- was the half introduction Soojin did before getting distracted.

-anyways, y'all, this is my best friend Soyeon and she...who is she?-  Soojin questioned Soyeon when she saw the silent girl besides her friend.

- she is Minnie, a friend of mine - Soyeon introduce her and they all greeted each other.

After that, they bagan to drink and dance as the music was on point that night, they all even sang  most of the songs played, it was until Soyeon felt drop of cold water on her hands that she saw Soojin holding a red cup filled with a some beverage in, to which the short haired girl laughed.

- I cannot believe you remembered- she said holding the cup on her hands

- how could I forget it - she pointed out raising her cup - for our friendship-

-for our friendship- Soyeon repeated and toasted.

- this is definitely not 7up- Soyeon expressed feeling the burning sensation on her throat.

- we are 19! Of course it wouldn't be 7up alone - Soojin explained her winking an eye to Soyeon

They were outside talking when suddenly a pair of arms surrounded Soojin's shoulder along with a cute nickname said

-jin-ah~ why you left me alone- the stranger girl pouted as she looked at Soojin dearly

- I just left for about 10 minutes, don't be dramatic- Soojin said smiling sweetly to the other girl

- I know I know I know, but I missed you - clearly the poor girl was drunk making her even cuter.

 And Soyeon got surprised when Soojin touched the other girl's cheek and kissed her lips.

-you are drunk baby -  Soojin stated as she looked shyly back at Soyeon.

- she is Shuhua, my girlfriend- the red hair explained.

- I have been wanting to tell you but she got lost and then I kinda forgot- she excused herself, looking with a little shame to Soyeon.

- I was also afraid of your reaction- finally Soojin admitted not hearing a reply from her friend.

Soyeon sensing the insecurity in Soojin's voice just smiled at her

-it's totally fine, don't worry, is she the pretty girl of your dancing class?- Soyeon inquired receiving a nod from Soojin who was now holding a sleepy Shuhua on her shoulder.

- I should  probably take her home- Soojin spoke after some silent minutes

-yeah you should, she will totally regret it tomorrow - Soyeon laughed at her joke watching a zombie like Shuhua.

And as Soyeon watched her friend getting into a cab she called her name

- Soojin! It was great to see you again and it's totally fine, really, I like girls too - was all Soyeon confessed just to received a warm hug from a teary Soojin seconds after hearing a lot of "thank yous" from her, who went back to the car promising to call her tomorrow.

And standing outside of a foreign house as a cab faded on the road, Soyeon experienced a broken heart for the first time.

The following moths they hang out almost every weekend, specially after Soyeon got her first car, it was and old red Camaro, it was not fancy at all but it was hers, it became mandatory to went out to ride the streets of Seoul going to hills on the outside of the city and enjoy the view of the busy city below them, a red cup always in their hands and right there on the right side door their names were engraved.

Soyeon remember too those moments shared at her room, how Soojin will always be around singing songs and dancing as the gummy smiled girl wrote lyrics, little did Soojin know they were all about her. 

The now blue haired girl might have a girlfriend but that didn't stopped Soyeon to stop her feelings from growing inside her chest although she well known Soojin will never love her like that, it killed her but she preferred having her friendship that nothing at all.

But as we all know things never stay the same and Soyeon found out about it when both of them turned 22, and it showed up as a letter delivered to her house.

Curiosity took over her as she opened the envelope which was on the floor five seconds later, there Soyeon red something she had seen coming but wasn't ready for it.

"Soojin and Shuhua invited you to their wedding" 

It was understandable, the girls have been dating for almost 4 years, it was meant to be and  Soyeon cried remembering all those moments shared on her car, her room, and a third face always on the background, watching them and enjoying the time spent with them.

So now Soyeon was watching her friend on her wedding dress, walking down the aisle while remaining as beautiful as Soyeon had always seen her, hearing her saying the "I do" she dreamed was for her one day,  sharing their first dance together with the song she had wrote for them and as each moment happened before her eyes, it came a moment where it was too much for her to handle.

She walked outside the salon, towards the  garden on the back, hugging herself as the cold air hit her body and tears began to form on her eyes.

Soyeon clean the last tear from her cheek as something cold and wet touched her bare shoulder founding a beautiful smile on her side.

- don't tell me we are doing this- she questioned the girl on her right side laughing by the silliness of the situation

- it wouldn't be us if we didn't- the now black short haired girl replied lifting her red cup up

-for our friendship?- Soyeon said in doubt received a light push from the other cup that touched hers

- for our friendship- Soojin confirmed drinking up the liquor in.

Soyeon took that instant to admired Soojin one last time, she had been the love she had dearest the most, but she will let it go to stay with the best friendship she has ever had.

 And Soyeon drunk to that receiving a tight and warm hug from a married Soojin, who had tears pouring down on her make up.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Soojin went inside leaving Soyeon alone outside, who had stayed to admired the starts, it was her excuse to ease her mind.

Soyeon was too caught up looking up the sky when she felt something warm around her shoulder.

- you shouldn't be outside without a proper coat, you might catch a cold- a cute voice replied her taking a seat next to her.

-you know, first love always sucks but there is a reason why is called like that- she spoke surprising Soyeon by her straightforward words

- it's because the first love is made to be forgotten, if it was truth love, then it will be called the last love-  she continued her explanation ending it with a shy smile.

- I'm...- and Soyeon got interrupted

- you are Soyeon, Soojin's best friend, and I am Yuqi, Soojin's sister- the stranger finally got a name, and as she introduced herself she extended her arm for a handshake.

And as Soyeon  touched the other girl's hand her body freezed as she heard Yuqi next statement.

- and your last love - 

And Soyeon smiled at the confidence of the girl next to her.

04: LETTERS TO NOBODY OR MAYBE MAYARI

Seal stamps, stamps with whatever designs, papers and pens, stickers, pictures, dried flowers, heartwarming messages, and a lot more.

When was the last time you wrote something on a literal piece of paper for someone?

Have you ever personally given someone a handwritten letter or sent it from the post office?

Is writing a letter still a thing today, or you just use whatever app you have because what is the point if other ways are more convenient, right?

Maybe, you are more the vocal type of person and, you just say what you feel instead of writing it down?

Perhaps, you are none of the above because what is important is your presence in their lives and, that is more than enough?

Still, how lovely it is to keep something that has sentimental value. It unnecessarily means that you are hoarding something because what's to not treasure from precious memories in a small piece of paper in an envelope?

This story is for those who never get tired of expressing themselves in whatever form they know, but most especially to those who write.

May you never run out of papers, inks, and thoughts to compose. to more unforgotten memories preserved in letters.

^^^

To: Mayari.

How are you? I wish things were getting better, just like what I always pray. These days, sleeping at night suddenly became serene as well as waking up in the morning. Sometimes my days are dull and typical...I believe? But most of the time, it's either I'm feeling blue or extra sad, or was that the same? I kept on blaming the pandemic, but for real, I'm just a mess. Silent battles are truly tough. I wish I had the courage and strength just like yours. Be safe. Stay sane. I'm really trying my best to be legit all right.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Liway is the name, exhausted with life. Mayari, someone out there, maybe a supreme being or plausibly not always receives Liway's letters. Sometimes Liway writes 10 messages at once and sometimes none at all. Mayari is the only recipient of such letters that even Liway never knew they were received by the random recipient it thought was just nobody. It all genuinely started on having a recipient written on the "To:" part at the post office. Though seriously, it doesn't even have any home address. It's super weird that it's for Mayari and no address, and were received.

HOW?

^^^

To: Mayari.

The night has come. This time, it feels heavier than usual. Tears are suddenly falling. I noticed that an unwelcome visitor came. The familiar pain is hugging me again, so tight that breathing is getting harder. I hate everything. Yet, I came to realize a lot of things. Afterward, I'm feeling blessed and grateful. Am I getting crazy? Before I went to bed, at the dinner table, I felt uncomfortable with the conversation we had, my family, about myself back then. I really hate it when they keep on bringing up what happened in the past. I already moved on... I think... so can they stop mentioning those moments? Honestly, whenever anything from the past is introduced again and remembered, I tend to feel like it just happened yesterday. Everything is coming back so fresh and new; fun, pain, sweats, and tears. I hate it.

PS. Mayari, can you send me some courage? Preferably in capsules, So I can have it in my intakes and be sure I'll be really having it in my system literally.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Continues writing so many letters filled with how living is like. Liway felt tired and exhausted. A few days ago, it was super overwhelmed that crying is unavoidable. Then this morning, Ms. Walmy called for a little chat and checking up because it's never too bad to check up on somebody, most especially when you're a counselor. It's your job, so uh? Anyway, though Liway was out of focus on the call, it was able to be accomodating and warm in return. It reciprocated the thoughtfulness with a sweet smile.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey! Today I was mad because firsthand, I experienced that thing I usually hear from other people. The "don't-post-something-revealing-on-social-media-but-love-yourself-but-that's-not-appropriate". Well, I don't even know why I'm reacting super outrage towards it. Because knowing that my family is just concerned for me since the internet is frankly scary. I mean, I did nothing wrong, so why? Maybe deciding to be confident on the internet is not necessary for them. But for me, it is! So how should I deal with this? A friend consoled me, and I feel better. Still tho, my mood is already ruined. Oh gosh.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

 Liway.

Welcoming a new week, the usual Liway is busy with the household chores. Some may find it stressful, but this one is pretty different. Scrubbing the floor, washing the dishes, brooming on the side. Later on, folding the clothes, fixing the bed, and a lot more things. It looks like it'll be tiring its body out until the nose bleeds, and passing out is the last resort to rest. How come it's easier to clean an actual mess than the one inside the head and heart?

^^^

To: Mayari.

Beloa visited me today. My childhood and the only friend left I have up to this day from elementary school. If you get what I mean? It's been a long time since we had a chat, especially that things are super complicated these days. She's doing really well, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm still amazed at how we manage to be friends because we both don't like each other to begin with. It's so funny that we even pulled each other's hair in the 4th grade while the class is taking the annual picture for the school year remembrance. What are the odds in this even, right? HAHAHA. Today was warm and bright.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Dates suddenly don't vary in these letters. Even the concept of time is somehow gone. What's important is regardless of not having these "important details" like the usual, Liway can keep up and be consistent in sending its letters. Liway never missed a chance to send a letter to the address less recipient, which left the post office staff to ponder with it. But as time goes by, Alle, the clerk, is no more surprised 'coz she's used to everything now. The envelopes unfailingly vanished the moment it was dropped inside the mailing box. Indeed, a magical mailbox.

^^^

To: Mayari.

I never knew how amazing pretending could be. You know that thing where someone usually says I'm okay, but really not? The inner saboteur that was triggered by their trauma is real-real-real. A car is useless when it's not moving if you wanted to travel to faraway places. Does that make sense?

PS. It sucks that our bathroom is the only "semi-safe space".

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Polar bears are really fascinating. They get to hibernate. Then, after the time being, back on hunting and living their lives. Ligaya was one of Liway's hero. A lot knew Ligaya for being a superhero, although she does not have that fantasy powers. Just like the polar bears, too, Ligaya has been hibernating for quite some time but kept on saying that she was not. Liway saw it all. Maybe a bear's hibernation is different from a human-being, hmm?

^^^

To: Mayari.

IDK what to say, but I just wanted to be consistent at the very least in sending you letters.

PS. The radio was broken, but in my head, it's working. It kept on playing nonstop music. Is this a poetic way of saying I'm overthinking things?

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari.

A lot happened lately. Somebody lost a precious one, and here I am, having a renaissance moment. It's a crazy ride, but for all it's worth, the pea has grown into a beautiful plant. Hope it made sense coz finally, everything is making sense to me now. Little by little, slowly and surely.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey!! I hope you are doing great!!! These days, everything felt surreal. I get to be active everywhere. It's draining, yet I feel so alive than ever. I had this thought that time is indeed just a concept, hmm? I mean, anytime is the right time to do what you want and whatever it is. Nothing is too late, most especially when it comes to growth. OH, being late in class still counts but FOR REAL RIP TO THE ONLINE CLASS SETUP -_-

PS. May we never run out of time to be the best versions of ourselves. LOVE WHOEVER YOU WANT. fck the situation, but SOON, GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT. SPEND FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR LOVED ONES. FEEL EVERYTHING.

PSS. May we leave this world with fewer regrets and more amazing memories.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Quite a lot of letters were already sent. The post office is getting more and more letters, as well as Mayari. Still, NO REPLY. Maybe some other, Liway will be able to hear Mayari's words.

^^^

To: Mayari.

*here's an envelope just in case you want to write me something*

With so much love annd kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

'Tis the season to be jolly. LOL Nah. Liway has been out for the past weeks. By out, means on a hibernation mode. A L O T R E A L L Y happened. It's hard to put it into words. I guess Liway will end these letter-sending shenanigans or just lazy and trying to give out some excuses //

^^^

To: Mayari. 

Ever since I was taught how to move around the kitchen, I've been assigned to be Mom's assistant while cooking for the feast every event/occasion we'll be celebrating. It's tiring but super fun. Getting your fingers bleed and while unaware is cool LOL~ 

PS. Why does it feel so good to overthink things while doing the dishes? What's with that scenario.........

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Tireless hands, heart, and mind with countless thoughts and feelings, papers, and pens everywhere—WRITING; it surely is one of the best ways to vent. Though letters can’t hug and wipe one's tears, witness waves of laughter, ease the pain, and such, the comfort from every word written is more than enough.

Suddenly time barge in and reminded me that this is enough. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR 2020...

A new chapter has arrived, and maybe it's time to move forward. Maybe this is where it all gonna stop for a while. I mean, writing is somehow tiring, literally. Probably, Mayari might reply with the number of letters sent anytime soon, so maybe waiting is all that needed.

No rush in moving on.

MAY YOU GET THE REPLY YOU LONG FOR SO LONG.

PRIORITIZE YOURSELF AND HAVE COURAGE.

BE KIND ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Little did nobody know, Liway is writing a letter to her "ideal" self.

The letter-sending-to-nobody thingy of Liway is really mind-boggling, right?

Mayari is Liway. Liway is Mayari.

The things that Liway wanted to say but cannot articulate well were always sent to Mayari. Mayari is the version of Liway it wishes to become in the future. 

The weak Liway longs and hopes to have "that" someone by her side to look up to. That's why she always writes letters and keeps them in the memory box.

The post office thingy was actually her shared room at home: the table at the corner with no lights but so much mess. It's that post office.

It's pandemic, so how can a post office be open and how brave she is to go out, right?

That saying, "be the hero you wanted to have when you were little", is the best explanation of Liway's way of venting and expressing.

Nobody knows when Mayari will come to life because it's no certainty that we can be the ideal self we all wanted to happen. 

For now, Liway is fighting her battles and screaming louder to the universe,

UNTIL WHEN DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY?

To be continued...

Happy New Year, Mayari. ✨💜

This is like an excerpt from my quarantine shenanigans for 2020 LOL.

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [as you said he encouraged her to gatecrash, I figure it makes sense he'd check in on that after the posts, Amelia called JJ lol] Jesse: 👍? Jac: 🖕 Jesse: ☕? Jac: no I feel sick Jesse: [brings her a glass of water and tablets but like puts them on her bedside table and then leaves] Jac: you're just as bad Jesse: as bad as? Jac: her Jac: don't try be nice Jesse: 🖕 Jesse: Alright? Jac: 🙄 Jac: no that was so halfhearted Jesse: it weren't only you who had a late one Jac: then don't bother Jesse: nice try, dickhead Jac: ask mum and dad Jac: i'm not in a gossiping mood Jesse: the walls ain't that thick Jac: just your head Jac: gotcha Jesse: Must be a family thing you inherited as well as Jac: if I can blame all of you Jac: fine by me Jesse: crack on Jesse: I hope it makes you feel loads better Jac: your fake sympathy is only marginally better than your real but solid attempt Jesse: you didn't want tea, they go together Jac: hence I declined Jac: don't feel sorry for me, twat Jesse: I don't Jesse: Amelia on the other hand Jac: you can go commiserate with her then Jac: she needs some new gay friends Jesse: I don't fit the bill then and she don't wanna hear from me how shit her girlfriend is Jac: She's well aware, don't worry Jac: beat you to it Jesse: Yeah, the comments tell the story, like Jesse: and a 📷's worth loads of words Jac: it was meant to be blatant Jac: no 🍪 for working it out Jesse: just 🏆🥇 for you Jac: naturally Jac: why else would I go Jesse: 'Cause you miss her Jesse: you were mates and it was her birthday Jesse: Dunno, there's 2 💡s Jac: Ha Jac: you ask her how much love she's feeling now Jac: I wanted her to have a shit time and she did, mission accomplished Jesse: You're alright, tah, that's blatant an' all Jac: yeah, no need to act like you're that thick now you ain't in the dark Jesse: nah, the act's all yours Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: yeah, I'm acting like a cunt, I'm a really, really nice person actually Jac: literally as bad as her Jesse: We're all wrong and you're right Jesse: 🏆🥇 Jac: no shit Jac: gotta suck Jesse: I'll live Jac: thrilled for you, Jess Jesse: 👍 Jesse: Good talk Jac: the fact you expected anything else is on you Jac: you go apologize to her, you'll feel better Jesse: It was her who fought your battles for you, nowt to do with me Jac: you told me to go Jesse: To make up with her, you twat Jac: and why did you think I'd ever do that? Jac: what kind of fucking fantasy land are you living in Jesse: I thought she might get through to you Jesse: that kinda fantasy land Jac: 😂 Jesse: it ain't much of a laugh but alright Jac: not to you Jesse: you ain't laughing either Jac: I can if you want Jac: rather I was crying but nah Jesse: Piss off, your vocal chords don't work any more Jac: So? Jac: that's got fuck all to do with missing Amelia, I'm so sorry Jesse: Never said it did Jac: you thought it did Jac: as fucking if Jesse: I thought she could help you, nowt else Jesse: giving her too much credit Jac: unlucky Jesse: 💔 Jac: I don't need any help Jac: and you should give the fuck up Jesse: I don't play 🎻 Jesse: you might as well shut up Jac: I already have, dipshit Jesse: Stop typing playground insults at me then Jac: Go away then Jac: you've achieved nothing, and you're not going to Jesse: You're a shit 👻 Jesse: next time throw something Jac: I've got what I needed from the situation Jesse: 👌 Jac: is Jude here or what Jesse: do you hear her? Jac: its the middle of the night Jac: morning Jesse: it's the afternoon near enough Jac: can I go to bed or not Jesse: she's at a mates Jac: thank god Jesse: might be back in a bit, like I said, it ain't as early as you think Jac: if I knock myself out she won't be able to speak to me Jesse: you won't be able to answer, she can still go on about whatever she likes Jac: I won't hear her, same difference Jesse: same as when you're awake, yeah Jac: no, unfortunately I can still hear her Jesse: Gutted Jac: no shit Jesse: Try 🎧 Jac: I don't like music Jesse: don't listen to any then Jesse: other media exists Jac: I don't like any of that either Jesse: 🙄 Jac: you'll survive Jesse: Nobody likes the news, stick it on to drown her out and get over it Jac: I have no interest in feeling better Jac: at least she's good for that Jesse: Bit rude Jac: it's a compliment Jac: she has fuck all else use Jesse: Bollocks is it Jesse: you've got less use, at least she walks the 🐕🐕🐕 Jac: I clearly don't care about being of any use to any of you Jac: it's all about what you can do for me, which is very little but make my crippling depression much worse Jesse: achieved that then ✔ Jac: hooray Jesse: 🥳 Jac: you missed it Jesse: had one I was actually invited to go to Jac: wow, that's so impressive Jac: would you like me to pretend I'm jealous? Jesse: pretend what you like Jac: so generous Jesse: pat on the back'll be in the post Jac: I got better by myself with her girlfriend, tah Jesse: I can't pretend there's owt impressive about that, soz Jesse: get your 🏆🥇 off her if you're bothered Jac: as if I did it for the brag Jesse: she will have done Jac: give a fuck what she does or doesn't Jesse: I got that Jac: so what's your fucking point Jesse: you either wanna talk or you don't Jesse: I give a fuck about Valentina Jesse: I know exactly what she's like Jac: yeah, I don't fucking fancy her, it's not me you need or needed to tell Jac: she's clearly a slag Jesse: I don't need to tell Amelia either Jesse: everyone knows she collects queers Jesse: she's been trying to be mates with me for years Jac: not now Jac: too late Jesse: Time was already running out for them, no need Jesse: been obvious from day 1 Jac: yeah and I'm a shit friend Jesse: she ain't mine Jac: she's not mine Jesse: not now Jac: not for ages Jac: if ever Jac: so you're just a cunt for no reason Jesse: how am I? Jac: you knew and you didn't say shit Jac: even though you've got no reason to fuck with her life Jac: so, you're a cunt Jesse: she knew and she'd have still called it bollocks if I said anything Jesse: it's her life Jac: yeah, sure Jesse: yeah, she had her reasons, must've done Jac: mhmm, tell yourself that Jesse: you're the only person she's ever properly listened to, but go on and tell yourself it's my fault Jac: I know what I did, tah Jesse: and the only head you're doing in with going on about it is yours Jac: you think I care? Jesse: you do, it ain't about what I think Jac: I really don't Jac: it's what she was owed, simple as Jesse: she had something you cared enough about to need to fuck with Jesse: if you didn't give a fuck you wouldn't bother about what she was or wasn't owed Jesse: nowt would matter like you keep telling yourself it don't Jac: all I care about is everything being as shit as possible Jac: and pushing you all far away Jac: I've never said that wasn't the case but yeah, go off with your pseudo-psych Jesse: and all you did was push her onto the end of a phone with mum and dad, well done Jesse: closer that she was before, that Jac: yeah and? Jac: they can chat all they fucking please I don't have to join in Jesse: and don't come to me chuffed to bits with yourself when you've got no reason to be Jesse: there's the and Jac: awh Jac: you got woke up Jac: weren't me shouting Jesse: Never is Jac: well observed Jesse: I ain't in enough of a mard about the wake up call for you to get your only joy out of it, soz like Jac: whatever shall I do Jac: 💔 Jesse: Kettle's always on round here Jac: Hilarious Jesse: you'll have to get it yourself Jesse: doubly 💔 I know Jac: I don't like tea Jac: and I'm certainly not making any of you a cup Jesse: I ain't asking for one, I've got work Jac: how fun Jesse: 👋 Jac: enjoy Jesse: 🤞 Jac: try not to wake me when you get back Jesse: Got nothing to shout about Jac: gutted Jesse: won't be you getting the 🎻s out Jac: yeah, you can't play it Jesse: and I'm alright for learning any more instruments at the minute Jac: lazy Jesse: it's loud enough around here Jac: take that up with the rest Jac: they don't take pointed silence as a fucking hint Jesse: worked that out by myself, tah Jesse: have lived here long as you Jac: not quite Jesse: good as Jac: those 10 months without you were the best of my life Jesse: keep them close to your 🖤 Jesse: nowt I can do about it Jac: can't retroactively give dad a vasectomy Jesse: 💔 Jac: so sad Jesse: I got that Jac: good Jac: it's not all for nothing Jesse: 👍 Jac: can't we swap rooms Jesse: if you want Jac: really? Jac: her shit is everywhere Jesse: Don't matter Jac: i'm going sleep in your bed then Jesse: yours Jesse: that's what a swap is Jac: yes but i'm not moving the beds right now Jesse: Alright Jac: tell everyone you said its fine Jesse: weren't gonna keep it a secret Jac: Jameson and Jude will be pissed off Jesse: and? Jac: I don't wanna be rudely awoken Jac: we need a bigger house Jesse: my job don't pay that well Jac: two more years Jesse: ✔ Jac: that was an affirmation for me, not you Jesse: say it in your head then Jac: you either want me to talk or not dickhead Jesse: whinging weren't part of the deal, dickhead Jac: that's the only way you talk Jac: or singing, as you call it Jesse: SO funny, you Jac: just honest Jesse: honestly, go to bed Jac: I can't Jesse: ? Jac: too much on my mind Jesse: Yeah Jac: and I'm pretty wired Jac: I'm gonna go study Jesse: I'm out the door but you can come with Jesse: study there Jac: people will think I work there Jac: then you'll get terrible reviews Jesse: not if you stay in the back Jesse: it's well quiet there too Jac: does Ben come in lots still? Jac: Ben from Science, the one you sit next to Jesse: What's lots? Jesse: he comes in Jac: will he come in today? Jesse: I can text him Jac: that's lame Jac: I'll take a selfie Jac: he'll show Jesse: 👌 Jac: right, I'll be there later Jac: I need to re-do my makeup Jesse: in a bit then Jac: should I shower Jesse: Probably Jac: he's not worth it Jac: more probably messy is his type Jesse: so there's your answer Jac: fuck it Jac: keep the smudged mascara Jesse: 🥇💡? Jac: if not Ben it'll work on the other guys there Jesse: Steady on Jac: what? Jesse: You know what Jac: no Jesse: Yeah you do Jac: I can do what I want Jesse: you don't want this Jac: yes I literally do Jesse: Fuck's sake Jac: shut up Jesse: You can not talk to Ben or whoever Jesse: you can't shut me up Jac: don't be a baby about it Jesse: Don't do it Jac: are you always this much of a downer, jesus Jesse: I'll chuck you out Jac: then I'll just go somewhere else and hook up with someone else Jesse: You're such a prick Jac: its literally none of your business so Jesse: you made it my business when you told me about it Jac: whatever Jac: I'm gonna hit up someone else Jesse: Don't whatever me or this Jac: you can't do anything Jesse: You're still there and I ain't far off, I'll come back Jac: oh really Jac: you're gonna shut me in my room on the grounds of hoeing are you Jesse: If you make me Jac: you're funny Jesse: I don't give a fuck, Jac, alright? Jesse: Stop Jac: No Jesse: stop Jac: Why? Jesse: just stop Jac: No Jac: this is what I need to do Jesse: Bollocks Jesse: you need to stop Jac: nope Jac: its the last step of the plan Jesse: [he's coming back for this showdown, soz Pete because he blatantly works at your record store cafe moment] Jac: [whos bed you in that's a fun game of hide and seek] Jesse: [he's a woman don't test him, also soz Jameson and Cammie if you're here] Jac: [ah the drama, gonna have to fight your brother] Jesse: [such fun] Jac: [I hope JJ are there to break this up it must be the weekend so fingers crossed lmao] Jesse: [one of them should get hurt accidentally before they do because what a mood and also they'd be fuming] Jac: [who would you rather] Jesse: [I don't mind either way, could make a case for either so] Jac: [probably him for the angst and she's not in the mindset to be remotely careful like we're just trying to get out so if he tries to stop us we're going in] Jesse: [he is a soft boy like his father so that makes sense, JJ gonna be like wtf because they are the closest of these siblings have they ever even fought before probably not] Jac: [oh the drama, get the gal in therapy but she won't lol] Jesse: [storm off to work boy like you're remotely in the right mindset to be there] Jac: [can't even tracy apologize Jesse: [Jude will be gutted she missed this drama] Jac: [aren't we all]