#I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

12.7% of mobile users access Tumblr.

#I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk.

elllisaaa · 2 months

Text

LOST THE GAME - JAKE. S

SUMMARY : what was supposed to be the least interesting class of your semester turned out to be the most passionating one when you met jake sim and his tendency to tease. but two could play a game, right ?

-> pairing : college mate!jake x fem!reader

-> words count : 15k

-> genre : college au, smut

-> warnings : switch!jake x switch!reader, teasing, dirty talk, sexting, phone sex, mutual masturbation, praising, dry humping, marking, hair pulling, doggy, unprotected sex, creampie, body worship, use of 'good girl', 'good boy' and 'slut', oral (f. and m. receiving), deep throating, cum play, manhandling, quick mention of choking, fingering, begging, riding, panties sniffing, jake is down bad for yn (yes, that's a warning), nipple play, jake is asking consent a lot and it's sexy.

+ the way i'm depicting jake does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : here we are, my not so little gift for you for valentine's day ! i hadn't planned something at first, but it turned out that i finished this not too long before so i decided to post it on this day. it's the first really long fic that i'm posting here, but i enjoy writing them so much ! shoot out to @xhdream that started it all by sending me a gif of jake during our christmas family gathering and messed with my mind 😭😔. this ended up being really self-indulgent but i hope you'll like it as much as i do !

-> masterlist | enha masterlist

PLAYLIST

🎵 lost the game by two feet

🎶 meddle about by chase atlantic

🎵 i'll make you love me by kat leon

🎶 more by i.m

🎵 it's not easy for you by misamo

🎶 more than friends by isabel la rosa

Leaving all your friends and family for college was not easy. Your freshman year was really hard, having to manage your classes and doing a part time job to be able to afford your rant, and being in a brand new city you didn’t know anything about, nor had any friends to help and support you. You felt on the edge of giving up just before your finals, but that was when you met your best friend, Yeji. She really was a gift, always smiley and willing to cheer you up. Without her, you really didn’t know if you could have continued university, or got your life back together at all.

But now, here you were, currently in your third year at college, happy and confident about your future. And you really didn’t want to mess it up, so you remained serious, and worked hard to have the grades you got. Even if for some people, psychology was not a “real” major, it was for you, and it was what you wanted to do for your whole life. And you sometimes wondered how they could say that when you had to take science classes. At first, you were not so excited to follow them, thinking that it would be just another thing you would have to study just for the exams and never remember again, but someone made you change your mind.

Jake was not in the same major as you, that was why you didn’t see him before the start of this semester but he immediately caught your eyes. Well, it would have been hard not to notice him, or you would’ve been blind, because he was really good looking. He was the cliché of the hot college fuckboy, the one so many rumors were spread about, the one who had supposedly hooked up with half of the campus.

Despite that, you were not one to have prejudices against people you didn’t know, so you gave him a chance, mainly because he was attractive and exactly your type, and also because he seemed to be the only other student to be invested in this class. Surprisingly, he was always participating, sometimes before you even had the chance to do so, and he was doing his work everytime. And so on, he became even more your type because smart people were automatically the most fuckable in your eyes.

However, you tried to not let your interest in him show. It seemed like he already had an ego, you were not here to fuel it even more. So you stuck to staring at him during your shared classes, under the excuse that you were only closely listening to his answers to your professor's questions. That was until he suddenly decided to sit down by your side on one random Thursday.

“- Is that seat taken, or can I ?”

You lifted your head, even if you had grown familiar to the sound of his voice by now, seeing Jake, waiting for your approval with a grin on his face. Well, he was asking kindly and really, you could not refuse to have your crush sit with you. You simply nobbed, taking off your bag from the chair so he could sit down.

“- Thanks !

- No problem.”

Regardless of the confidence you were trying to keep on, you were feeling incredibly nervous. It was the first time you and Jake were this close. Sure, you had talked to each other before, picking up on something one of you had said in class to add other information or to correct each other. But that was it, nothing more. So to suddenly have him so close to you was very strange, but at the same time, you were giddy, like a high-schooler confessing her love to her first crush.

“- Did you understand the paper we had to read for today ?”

Jake's voice straddled you as you were lost in your thoughts, but you quickly composed yourself again, doing your best to hold his intense gaze.

“- Yeah. Or at least, I think so, but I struggled a little bit at first. Why did you want to know ?

- Well, you’re the only one except me that seems to give a damn about this class, and you’re smart, so I thought that maybe you could help me, because I didn’t understand anything !”

You chuckled at the defeated tone he used for his last words, perfectly getting his disappointment of not assimilating a new thing immediately, it was frustrating. But at the same time, butterflies erupted in your stomach at the thought of Jake having noticed you. And he was saying you were smart on top of that ? What started as a not so good day was turning into a much better one.

“- Of course, no problem. We have some time left before Mr. Lee arrives, so maybe we could go over the paper and you stop me every time there’s something you didn’t get ?

- Works for me ! Thank you Y/N.”

The way he said your name had you fighting demons not to blush and try to concentrate on bacteria and immune system instead of his bright smile and beautiful face. But it was not easy to stay focused when he brought his chair closer to yours so he could have a better view of the drawings you were making to materialize what was explained in the paper. You could feel Jake’s warmth through your clothes and it was so hard to resist the urge to turn your head and just look at him. Thanks to some magical forces surely, you got to the end of it when your professor entered the classroom, greeting his students.

“- It’s so much easier when you explain everything to me, you’re very good at that, you know ?”

And he was at it again with the compliments, and you were trying to repress a stupid smile from eating up your face once again, whispering when you answered him in order not disturb Mr. Lee, who had already started today’s lesson.

“- I’m glad I could help.”

Jake's response came in the way of a smile before the two of you started to take notes of what your professor was saying, not having much time to discuss throughout the class. These lectures were always very intense but also very interesting, so you didn’t mind the fast rhythm with which you were approaching each subject. You thought about asking Jake his number at the end of the class, just in case he had another problem with something related to this class of course ! A few years back, you wouldn’t even have dared to consider something like that, but right now you were thinking “why not ?” If anything, he would say no and end of the story. So as you were packing up your things, you started to get your phone out when you were interrupted by Jake once again.

“- I have a class now, but if I could have your number it would be very helpful, because there’s still some things I can’t get a grasp of, if you don’t mind of course !”

You smiled back, taking his phone and typing your number in the new contact he had created before handing the device back to him.

“- Actually, I was going to give it to you anyway. You’re pretty smart too, and you’re funny so it’s not a waste of time.”

Jake chuckled as he put his phone in his back pocket after checking the time. He was going to be late to his next class, but who cared when he finally got to talk to the girl he had a crush on since the beginning of the year ? Certainly not him.

“- I’ll make it worth it, promise ! Huh, I really have to go but I’ll text you later pretty.”

With a wink, he was gone and left you behind with a beating heart and a stupidly big grin stretching out your lips.

From this day on, Jake sat next to you every time you shared your science classes. And even if the seat was empty last week because Yeji was sick that day, she happily let the guy take her place with a knowing look on her face, wiggling her eyebrows every time he walked in and greeted you. You acted annoyed every time, but really, it was funny how supportive she was - sometimes, you worried that she was more excited about the whole situation than yourself.

“- Is it Jakey again ?”

You rolled your eyes as you picked up your phone from the kitchen counter where Yeji and you had spread all your work sheets and textbooks to study. It was Sunday, and you often reserved it to work together and then relax with a movie, while doing each other's skincare and gossiping.

When you first came to the city for college, you had rented a small apartment with another girl you didn’t know. At the end of your freshman year, she left and since Yeji was searching for a new place to stay because her last roommate was insufferable, you had proposed to her that you live together. She really was the best friend you could ask for, and also the best roommate. But sometimes, just sometimes, you wished she didn’t know you so well as she fake gaged when you laughed at the last text Jake had, indeed, sent to you. You wrote a quick answer before going back to your cognitive psychology assignment.

“- And what if it is him ? You’re jealous ?

- Of a man ? Never !”

Both of you laughed at her remark, not able to hold back yourselves after being focused for such a long time and having spent the whole afternoon studying.

“- No but seriously, what do you think of him ?”

You were not one to let other people direct the way you acted or lead you on to choices you wouldn’t have made by yourself but you valued Yeji’s opinion, and she always had something to say about your crushes. Sensing that the subject was no longer meaningless, your best friend put her pen down, thinking for some time about your question.

“- Well, you know all the rumors about him right ?”

You nodded. Of course you knew, especially since you started to talk with Jake two months ago, you paid a lot more attention to the conversations of other students about him. They were all saying that he was a typical frat boy, going to parties, not caring about going to school, and fooling around with every girl he found attractive. But you already knew that a part of that was not true. He was often sending you some parts of texts or lessons he didn’t understand for you to explain, he was really invested in what he was doing, and he had even told you that he was not here to skip classes.

“- And you also know that Lia is friends with his roommate Jay ?”

Again, you nobbed. You knew Lia too, because she was one of Yeji’s childhood friends. You were a little less close to her but she really was a very sweet girl, and you loved to spend time with her.

“- She told me that Jake was not how everyone is depicting him. Apparently, it’s only because he’s spending time with Heeseung and his frat, and because he hooked up with a random girl at a party during our freshman year. And from there, people created him a reputation, and he never really tried to deny it because, well, everyone would assume that based on his looks and who he’s hanging out with.

- I guess, yeah. I thought that too when I first met him. And that doesn’t surprise me, he cares too much about his studies to be a frat boy.”

Yeji laughed again, detaching her long, ginger, hair from the hair clip that was holding them in place.

“- I agree, he’s too smart too, and too sweet with you. He genuinely seems like a good guy, and not every guy out there gets your humor so…”

You threw a random highlighter in her direction, pretending to be vexed by her comment.

“- And I didn’t see you smile so much since that dick left you this summer, so I sadly have to validate him.”

Yeji let out a defeated sigh while shaking her head, making you smile again. It was true that you had a hard time because of your “ex”, if you could really label him like that. He was just a guy you met at a party just after your finals were over, and from there, you started to be in some kind of situationship, that was becoming serious for you, but not for him apparently since he left you over a single text and not even an apology. But you were fully over it now, and ready to welcome someone in your life - and bed - again.

“- I’m glad you’re thinking the same.”

She simply gave you a smile before stretching her arms over her head, repressing a yawn as she did so.

“- I’m thinking about wrapping up this study session and getting on to the movie.

- Oh my god, yes, thank you ! My brain stopped working one hour ago !”

You both started to tidy up the counter, putting your sheets back in your binder and your pens back in your case.

“- You order while I’m hopping in the shower ?

- No problem ! Pizza and sushi ?

- You know me so well !”

You giggled as Yeji disappeared in her room, closing the door behind her and letting you finish with your mess. When your phone received another notification, you picked it up again, not holding back your smile when you saw Jake’s contact name popping up this time.

jakey : wow ! working on a sunday ? you have a stronger will than me ! you : ahah only because i’m not doing it alone ! otherwise, i would lie in my bed all day, not doing anything lmao what are you doing ? jakey : [attachement : 1 image] just relaxing while watching a movie it’s pretty boring tho…

You were not expecting this photo to be a shirtless one of Jake, sprawled out on his bed, and looking at the camera with a pout on his face. You had to pick up your jaw from the floor and mentally stop yourself from drooling over his abs, and his chest, and his arms, and the gray sweatpants hanging low on his waist. Was that flirting ? It was, for sure. Why would he send you that if it wasn’t ? But how could you respond to that ? Sending a picture of the same type seemed a little too provocative, and you didn’t want to interpret the signs wrong. If he was doing this after only two months, what would he be willing to do in a few weeks ? You were curious to see how far he would go to seduce you.

jake : why are you not answering pretty ? too busy checking me out ? 😉 you : in your dreams. jake : oh yeah, don’t worry about that, my dreams are already filled with your cute face.

You didn’t dare ask him what he meant by that, busying your mind by ordering your dinner and trying to get the image of Jake’s chest out of your mind.

The whole task of not getting your hopes up revealed to be a lot more difficult than you thought it would be when the universe seemed to team up against you. Or at least, you saw it like that as your professor was listing the groups for the new project of the semester.

“- Y/N and Jake, I want you two together for this. Usually, I’d put you in a weaker group to help but I’m very curious to see what you can do when working hand in hand. And that’s all for today everyone, I’ll see you next week and don’t forget to tell me the angle your presentation will address.”

You couldn’t believe that Mr. Lee really did this. It was not that you were horrified by the idea of having to work with Jake, it was the contrary, really, but it also meant spending a lot of time together, because you wanted your presentation to be perfect. You would have to go to the library together, or go work at his dorm, or invite him to your apartment, and all that will certainly not help you to stop your little - or rather big - crush on him, and neither will it help you to stay focused.

“- You don’t seem so delighted by the news, pretty.”

His voice interrupted your thoughts, and you lifted your head to meet his pouty face, the one he always had on when he was trying to get your attention. It was cute. And his puppy eyes were too. And there, you were feeling all fuzzy inside once again.

“- Who would be delighted to know that we have a presentation that counts for half of the final note to do before the end of the month ?

- When you put it this way… But I was not really talking about that.”

You sighed as you stood up, checking the time because you had to join Lia and Yeji at your favourite café soon.

“- I know Jake. I have to go but I’ll text you later to let you know when I am free so we can start to work on that. Bye.”

Jake stood there, mouth slightly open as if he wanted to add something but couldn’t with how fast you left. All this made him wonder if he read the signs wrong or not. He didn’t imagine the way you were often staring at him. He didn’t miss the few times your eyes flicked down to his lips when he was talking to you. He didn’t imagine the way you were shivering every time he touched you, intentionally or not. He didn’t miss how you were always smiling when he was teasing you, even if you tried to look annoyed.

Or was it only pretending ? Jake didn’t know anymore. But you were not the type of girl to do that, right ? He watched you from afar since he saw you for the first time in this science class, noticing how kind you were with everyone, how funny you were, how pretty you looked, and he also noted how many boys tried to hit on you, and how many of them you sent away.

That was why he approached you as a friend. Because at least, even if he didn’t succeed in charming you, you could be friends. And it worked until now, you were getting closer and he even saw you blush one or two times when he made a flirty joke. So he didn’t understand why you were like that today. Maybe it was only a bad day for you, you seemed off and didn’t participate as much as usual. It should be that, yeah. That, or Jake was a total fool.

“- You know the rules Y/N ! You’re late, you pay !”

You sighed but got your wallet out. You were rarely late anyway, so it was not often that you had to pay for the three of you. Your two friends had already ordered your favourite drink and you made your way to the counter to pay before returning to your table and finally relaxing for the first time since you woke up.

“- You seem exhausted today.”

You nodded at Lia’s word, taking a sip of your caramel latte before answering her indirect question.

“- I am. I’ve been running all day ! I was late to my first class because my bus times changed and I didn’t know, so I had to wait for the next one and you know Mr Kim, he hates it when we are late and he literally humiliated me in front of the whole class. Then, I realized that I had forgotten the assignment that I had to hand back for one of my lectures, so I had to rush home to get it on my lunch time and couldn’t eat. And the cherry on top is that Mr Lee paired me up with Jake Sim for our next presentation.

- Wow ! That’s a lot, my dear !”

You nodded again, leaning against Yeji’s shoulder to seek some affection and comfort.

“- Well, all that sucks, but I don’t see how having to spend more time with your crush can be a bad thing ?

- It’s not ! That’s the worst part, I think that he thinks that I don’t want to work with him because I was so dry when I talked to him today, and he looked like a kicked puppy and now I feel guilty.”

Lia reached over to stroke your arm and try to make you feel a little bit better. She knew that you could spiral about the smallest thing you were saying or doing sometimes, overthinking every interaction you had with other people.

“- Just apologize next time, and that should be good. This is nothing that you can’t fix.

- Why are you always right ?”

The blonde shrugged before taking a sip of her own drink, while Yeji led the conversation to how her own day went. But you couldn’t stop thinking about how Jake’s smile fell when he sensed that you were not as enthusiastic as him to work together. You took your phone out, opting to send him a text now, even if you knew that he would not answer right away because he still had some other classes.

you : i am free this weekend and wednesday afternoon to work on the project. and sorry if i was too harsh earlier, i just had a really bad day, it was nothing against you.

You shut off your phone, not expecting a notification to light up the screen just seconds after your last message, trying to hold back a smile from stretching your lips.

jakey : this weekend seems good, but i’m going back to my parents so we’ll have to facetime 😉 don’t worry about that pretty, i figured it was not me you were mad at i’m here if you need to talk. you : i’m good now, but thank you, you’re sweet i’m staying here so call me when you have a moment. and stop texting while you’re in class, idiot !

As he answered you again just to tease you, the weight on your chest flew away. Jake really was a sweet guy, you just couldn’t believe that he was interested in you. He was popular around the campus, whether because of all the rumors about him - mostly false, but they were spreading fast - or because he was incredibly handsome, and a lot of girls were after him, numerous of whom were prettier than you. That was why you had so much trouble understanding why he chose to text you so much. It was not like you to doubt yourself like that, but for some reason, Jake was making you really nervous. Maybe because it was the first time in a while you were really interested in somebody, past just physical attraction, and you didn’t want to fuck it up.

You read Jake's last text again, the one in which he was telling you that he was going to call you in five minutes, just the time for him to gather all the things he needed to work, and you couldn’t stop biting your nails. There was no logical reason for you to be so stressed out about facetiming with him, especially since it was only to talk about a school project, but you were. You checked your appearance in the little mirror above your desk one more time, but didn’t really get the time to fix your hair, your phone ringing straddling you as you picked up the call immediately, setting up the device against your laptop so it would stay in place without you needing to hold it.

“- Hi pretty !

- Hi Jake, how you doing ?”

You tried to ease your mind by making small talk with him, but you were distracted every now and then by how veiny his hands were, or by how comfortable his thigh looked to sit on, pressing your own together to stop the warmth spreading in your lower half. It was really not the moment to think about that, even if it was not the first time nor would it be the last.

“- Did you have an idea of how we could talk about this in an original way ? Because I’m warning you, I don’t want this to be only a boring, classical presentation.”

Jake's deep voice as he chuckled sent your mind to other places you shouldn’t go while working on a science group project.

“- I should have known you’ll be like this. I’ll send you the research I’ve done so far and you tell me if you see something interesting.”

This was enough to get you to concentrate back on what you had to do, and as soon as you chose your angle, you started to work properly, sometimes making comments that made the other laugh. However, Jake was not able to focus on the article in front of him, too immersed in the contemplation of your figure to get anything done.

Why did you have to wear this fucking top ? The straps wouldn’t stop falling off from your shoulders, showing a little more skin of your cleavage everytime it did, before you’ll put them in place again. And he could see that you were not wearing a bra, your nipples poking through the material of your top, allowing him to think about how much he wanted to see you naked, how much he wished he could touch them, lick them, suck on them. Your hair were put up in a messy ponytail, and with your glasses on and the serious look on your face, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to fuck you from behind for some obscure reasons.

And well, it seemed like he got a little too entranced by his own thoughts because Jake could feel his cock twitch in his pants. Swearing under his breath, he turned around in his desk chair to grab a pillow from his bed and put it on his lap. He didn’t want you to notice that he was hard, the risk being that you would take him for a pervert, which he maybe was but he didn’t want you to think that of him. He was trying to be the perfect, sweet guy. He wanted to take you on proper dates, and offer you flowers before initiating anything sexual between the two of you, even if it was you he saw every time he was jerking off, even if he sometimes had to go to the bathroom after your shared classes because the vision of your thighs in a skirt was enough to make him pop a boner.

Sadly, the shuffling sounds he made while reaching for his pillow intrigued you enough for you to lift your head and look what Jake was doing, seeing him quickly put the cushion on his lap before going back to taking notes about the article. You weren’t thinking about something naughty for once, only up to tease him a little bit.

“- What’s with the pillow ? Are you hard or something ?”

Your smirk widened when you saw his ears grow red. It was the first time you were witnessing a blushing Jake, and well, the view was interesting and too funny to let it slide.

“- Don’t tell me you really are ?”

Jake didn’t dare to look at you anymore, his gaze lost in contemplating one of the posters on his walls, so much more interesting right ? How could he explain himself to you without saying anything disrespectful, because the thoughts he was having just before weren’t really ones a well-mannered and polite guy should have. All he wanted right now was to be swallowed by the floor and bury himself six feet under.

“- What were you thinking about ? Me ?”

At the way Jake lowered his head even more, you figured that it was, in fact, you that got him hard. And what was supposed to be a silly little joke turned into a whole lot more. The way your laugh died in your throat when you realized made Jake feel even more nervous that he had really made you uncomfortable and that you wouldn’t want to see his face ever again.

“- I-I am really sorry… Please, don’t think that I'm a creep Y/N ! It’s just… Fuck ! You’re just so hot with your glasses, and your top won’t stop showing your skin, and that’s so embarrassing but it turns me on how smart you are and you explain to me all these things like it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever come across.”

You couldn’t believe what you just heard, and it was apparently showing as Jake spared you a glance and turned away immediately, groaning about how stupid he was, and that you could insult him as much as you wanted if it made you feel better.

“- Jake, just stop and look at me.”

It took some seconds for him to do so. It was a good thing you didn’t decide to end the call and your friendship with him already, he was not going to talk again and push his luck. When his eyes finally landed on you, he gulped loudly, trying to stop himself from getting turned on even more by the intense look you gave him.

“- Show me.

- W-What !?

- Show me what I do to you. And maybe I’ll show you what you’re doing to me.”

It was Jake's turn to not believe his ears. He must have looked so dumb, with his mouth hanging open and blinking repeatedly without saying anything because you chuckled cutely at him, pushing your chair back a little. And this time, when you let the straps of your top fall down, it was done on purpose, encouraging Jake to throw away that damn pillow and allow you to take in the appealing view of his boner. He was wearing these grey sweatpants again, and you couldn’t help licking your lips when you imagined how big his dick would be.

“- I wanna see more, this is not enough for me to forgive you.”

Even if his heart was about to burst out of his chest, a little smirk started to spread on his face. He wasn’t in a position to negotiate, but he liked the game you were leading him into. And your wish was his command. Without a word, Jake got rid of his shirt, throwing the piece of clothing away before looking back at you, happy to find you biting your lips while checking him out.

“- Like what you see ?

- Don’t be so cocky, you still have to make it up to me.

- And what do you want, pretty ?”

You pretended to think about it, using it as an excuse to drool over his abs a little longer. Because yeah, Jake was insanely hot, and even if you didn’t want him to see how affected you were, your drenched panties should be enough of a clue.

“- I want to see you jerk off for me. And I want you to tell me all the things you’ve been thinking about doing to me.”

Jake immediately stood up from his desk chair, throwing his sweatpants and boxer away while a quiet “fuck” fell from his lips, bringing a smirk to your face. This was getting way more interesting than science. When he sat down again, you only needed to tilt your head to the side for him to start stroking his cock slowly, releasing a sigh that had you pressing your thighs together to try and relieve some of the pressure you felt building up. Your eyes couldn’t leave his hard dick, wondering about how good he would fill you up, how good he would feel inside of you.

“- So ? Aren’t you going to say anything ?”

The sound of his hand around his cock was starting to resonate in his room, spreading his pre-cum onto his shaft and going faster. He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about you wanting to know his fantasies about yourself, sitting there so prettily but still fully clothed, while he was jerking off for your eyes only.

“- I-I thought a lot about… About fucking you, especially when you’re wearing these damn skirts.

- What about my skirts ? Don’t you like them ?”

If he wasn’t already blushing, he was definitely right now, not only because of his confession, but mostly because your pouty lips had him thinking about sliding his cock between them and he felt close to cumming already just because of this, just because you were playing with him and he loved it a little too much.

“- Fuck ! I do, I do, but they make me want to eat you out so bad, you have no idea how hard it is to sit next to you when you have them on.”

Jake closed his eyes for a few seconds, missing your proud smile as you watched his face scrunch up in pleasure. Since he did nothing but listen to you – and make you even more wet – you decided to reward him by removing your tank top, letting him finally see your breast.

“- You’re so hot Y/N… I wanna touch you…

- But you’ll just have to watch for now, okay ?”

For now ? Jake didn’t want to dig on what you meant, too entranced by the sight of your hands coming up to play with your nipples like he dreamt about doing, forcing another moan out of his mouth. How bad he wished he was the one massaging your boobs right now, how bad he wanted them in his mouth and your hands tugging on his hair.

“- I want to see more of you, pretty, please…”

Your eyes shifted from his dick to his face, your mouth watering at his fucked out look zeroing on your hands on your chest and fingers pinching your nipples. But hearing Jake beg for you was too pleasing, you needed more of his pleas, more of his airy moans. It was like a drug you were slowly becoming addicted to.

“- Beg some more, and I’ll think about it.

- Please Y/N, please, it’s not fair, I want to see your pussy, been dreaming about it, please.”

The fact that he didn’t even hesitate before doing it made your head spin with want, clouding your mind with lust as you got rid of your clothes too and sat down in front of the camera again.

“- Shit ! You’re so fucking hot pretty, making me want to fuck you so bad.

- I really wished you were here Jake, wished you could be the one touching me like that.”

As you were talking, you spread your legs for him, your feet sitting on your desk so he had a full view of your soaked pussy and your little fingers playing with your clit.

“- Is it enough for you ? Or do you want even more ?”

The way Jake’s tongue poked out of his mouth to lick his lips had you thinking back to him eating you out, and how good that would feel. A soft whimper escaped you when you slipped two fingers into your hole, too excited to wait for his answer. The way he was lazily stroking his cock was driving you insane, and you didn’t care if you looked desperate for him anymore, because you were and all you wanted was him right now.

“- Would feel so much better if it was your fingers…

- You don’t know how much I want that… You’re so wet, you’re dripping everywhere baby, fuck ! I want to lick your pretty cunt so bad….”

Another moan rolled off your tongue, closing your eyes for a second before opening them again because you didn’t want to miss the show Jake was putting on for you, his hand moving way faster now that he got to witness your naked body and the sinful vision you offered him. Your fingers couldn’t reach that spot you knew he could have, knew that his long hands would be perfect for you.

“- You want that pretty ? Want me to eat your pussy ?

- Oh god, yes ! Please Jake, I need it, I need you…”

The way you were saying his name, full of lust and desire, had him coming close to the edge already. He wished he was with you right now, wished he could hear you scream it again and again, wished you would beg him more and more.

“- I need you too, need you to sit on my cock and ride me.”

He was sitting in the perfect position for you to do just that, and the image wouldn’t leave your mind. You abandoned your nipple to play with your clit, your thighs shaking as you approached your climax.

“- I’m so close, feels so good…

- Me too… Cum for me Y/N.”

This was all you needed for your orgasm to wash over you, clenching so hard around your fingers you could barely move them anymore, circling your clit until it felt too much. Jake had to bite his lips and quickly remind himself that he was not home alone to hold himself back from releasing a litany of filthy moans as he spilled all over his abs, covering them in his release that you wanted to lick off from his body so badly.

During a moment, the only sound was the one of your heavy breathing, trying to get a hold of what just happened. As you were about to say something, a knock against your door interrupted your thoughts, eyes widening in surprise. You rushed to end the call with Jake, not even taking the time for a goodbye before dressing up quickly and trying to not look like you just had the best orgasm of your life as you opened the door of your bedroom.

“- Are you alright ? I thought I heard you scream…”

You smiled innocently at your Yeji, hoping that she would not interrogate you further because your legs were still weak and trembling and your face was obviously flushed.

“- Oh, yeah, I just hit my toes against the bed, that’s why.”

Luckily, she seemed to accept your excuse and you plopped down on your bed after closing the door behind you. What the fuck just happened ? Did you really have sex over a facetime with Jake ? It was usually something you dreamt about but that never occurred in real life. But with the way he was blowing up your phone, there was no way this was not true.

If you thought that this would ease the tension between the two of you, you were definitely wrong. Because when you saw each other for the first time after this one call, you felt ten times more attracted to him than before, almost getting wet just seeing him smirk at you as you entered the classroom. Sure, you had texted each other during the week, but neither one of you dared to address the subject directly, too embarrassed and afraid that it would ruin everything.

But you couldn’t lie : you wore the shortest skirt you owned today on purpose, only because you wanted a reaction out of him. And a reaction you got. As soon as Jake took in your entire outfit, his gaze darkened, mouth opening just enough for his tongue to dart out and lick his lips as if he wanted to devour you. If you weren’t wet already, now, your panties were definitely soaked with the way he was eying you up and down.

“- Hi Jake ! How was your weekend ? Must have been great to see your parents.”

He didn’t expect you to strike up such a casual conversation with him, but his mind was already far away, staring at the way your skirt rode up your thighs when you sat down, revealing even more of your skin. Jake had to turn his gaze away from you for a few moments to focus back on how to form sentences and answer you.

“- It was cool, yeah. And how was yours ? Did you have fun ?

- Actually, it was very fun. Something interesting happened.”

The grin stretching out your lips didn’t go unnoticed, Jake’s eyes zeroing on them and wishing he could kiss you right now, wishing he could have you grinding down on his lap and making out with him. He was snapped out of his daydreaming when Mr.Lee entered the classroom loudly, as usual.

“- Hello everyone ! Today you’re gonna work on your projects, and I’ll come see where all of you are so I can help you if you need it.”

Working together turned out to be way more complicated than you thought it would. Jake wouldn’t stop subtly caressing your arms or your hands, coming way more closer to you than necessary when you had something to show him, his thigh pressed against yours underneath the table. But two could play a game, right ? Too bad you dropped your pen on the floor and had to get up to pick it up. Too bad your skirt was so short that when you bent over, Jake could catch a glimpse of your panties. Too bad the hand you landed on his thigh to get his attention was so close to his crotch.

By the end of the class, you were just dying to come back home and relieve the unbearable heat you were feeling, almost squirming in your chair. If he had you wrecked with only that, you didn’t dare to think of how good he would actually be able to ruin you. But what was infuriating was how he didn’t even seem to be affected by the whole situation, despite his leg bouncing up and down, and his lips swollen from biting them. Still, you wanted to get back at him. After all, it was his fault if your call took another turn, and it was his fault your panties were ruined right now.

With how fast you escaped the classroom, Jake didn’t expect you to ask him to meet up, especially in an area he knew was unknown by most students. His body was tingling in anticipation, wondering what you were going to do next. Maybe he loved this little game too much, and maybe it was risky because he almost popped a boner in class, but it was worth it if it was for you.

“- What do you want pretty ?

- Give me your hand.”

You could see that he was confused, but he did what you asked nevertheless, so you could place something in his palm, closing his fingers around what seemed to be a piece of fabric, which was a little damp.

“- You feel how wet you made me ? This is what you do to me Jake. Now, enjoy your next classes.”

He watched you go away, definitely hard this time when he realized you really gave him your panties, and that the material was, in fact, soaked in your juices. Behind you, you heard him swear loudly and rush to his class to not be late, a smirk spreading on your lips. It was his turn to suffer a little.

Jake didn’t even take the time to greet his roommate when he came home, tracing a beeline to his room and locking the door before he dropped his bag on the floor. He got out your panties that were stuffed in his pocket, the fabric still a little wet. You were the reason he didn’t pay attention to his last class of the day, not able to understand a single thing his professor was saying. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to jerk off with them, couldn’t stop thinking of you going home with nothing underneath your skirt.

That was enough to make him hard all over again. Quickly, Jake got rid of his jeans and underwear, laying down on his bed with a hand already wrapped around his painfully hard dick. Without an ounce of shame, he lifted your panties to his nose, inhaling your scent and immediately moaning. He was already addicted to this, to you, to the way you were playing with him.

Jake could already feel his tip leaking pre-cum, and he knew that he was not going to last long, especially after you had edged him all day. It was as if he could still feel your hand on his thigh, too close to his crotch for his sanity. And every time you touched his arm to have his attention, it was like your fingers were leaving a trail of fire behind them, a shiver running down his spine every time your warmth left him.

The smell of your juices was driving him insane, sticking his tongue out to lick it off the material. He sped up his movements unconsciously, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, incapable of holding back his moans anymore. He didn’t care if Jay could hear him or not, he didn’t care if what he was doing was disgusting, if he was a creep for loving it all. You already tasted like heaven like this, and he knew that as soon as you’d let him go down on you for real, he would never want to pull out from your pussy ever again.

Once he could taste nothing but his own saliva that had completely drenched your panties, he wrapped it around his cock, the friction feeling so much better than his own hands, but not coming close to what yours would feel, he knew it. His mind couldn’t stop drifting away to a sick scenario in which you were watching him do all that, in which you were telling him how disgusting he was, in which he was begging for you to touch him. The thought was enough to push him over the edge, moaning your name loudly as he came all over this stomach and your panties.

“- Fuck…”

Without a second thought, he reached for his pants on the floor, getting his phone out to take a picture of the mess he had made. The material was still wrapped around his cock, making sure you had a great view of his abs covered in his cum and his tip still leaking. As soon as he hit “send”, Jake plopped down on the sheets again, closing his eyes for a while. He knew he had to get up, take a shower and do his homework, but the only thing plaguing his mind was you. Only you.

Of course, the teasing didn’t stop there, neither of you being able to stop. You had sexted each other during classes, not paying any attention to the actual lesson, too busy telling the other the dirtiest things. It felt even better when Jake did it during your science class, blowing up your phone with messages filled with praises of how gorgeous you looked today, of how your outfit was suiting you perfectly, of how much he wished he could fuck you on your desk right now, of how much he just wanted to get out of here and show you how good he could make you feel.

You had not given up on your skirts and dresses, which were getting shorter and tighter as time went on. And Jake had not given up on putting his hand on your thigh, which was getting closer and closer to your core everytime you were sitting side by side. The flirting comments he whispered in your ears got more and more unhinged, and the pictures you sent to him got more and more revealing. Jake had started to save them in a locked file, but always making sure to send something back so it was fair - and not at all because he loved the idea of you drooling over his body, or touching yourself while looking at his nudes.

And even if Jake loved the game, he couldn’t wait for the moment he would finally have you. Because he was so close to breaking down the act when you sent him an audio message of you moaning his name, going on and on about how much you wished he was with you right now, about how much you needed him. It was late at night, and Jake was ready to go to sleep, but he was quick to slip his hand in his underwear, jerking off to the sound of your whines and begs that he listened to on repeat from this moment on. And he was seeing so clearly the sinful image of you fingering yourself that hadn’t left his mind since this video call, the same image that was imprinted in his memories.

He was almost ready to go out at 1am and come to your apartment, but he was too tired and mostly, he wanted to win, even if it was pointless because he knew that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. So he settled on sending you a video just when he was coming, while telling you how bad he wished you could be riding him right now, how bad he wished he could fill you up with his cum. And you replied with a close up of your wet pussy that ended up in his locked file.

It was also very fun to talk casually in front of everyone else, as if Jake wasn’t fucking you with his eyes, as if you hadn’t sent him another filthy text last night where you were calling him your good boy. The sexual tension between you and Jake was so high that neither Yeji or Jay could even bear to look your way without being disgusted - their words, not yours. And the way you were both always smiling, giggling and blushing everytime the other sent you something had your two friends desesperate for you to finally fuck each other and stop flirting in front of them - again, their exact words. You knew Yeji was happy for you and just liked to tease, but you were just as eager as her to get laid.

But you will not be the one to give up. You wanted Jake to surrender before you did. Why ? Just because it was much more fun that way. Hence why you were standing so close to Jungwon. And Jake was clearly not having it, watching the two of you from his seat in the classroom, jaw clenched and gaze burning a hole in your friend’s back. The way you were touching his arm and laughing at his jokes shouldn’t have made him jealous. After all, you were not his, you were not his girlfriend, and he didn’t even kiss you yet. But still, it didn’t stop him from wanting to swat Jungwon away from you when he hugged you.

Your innocent smile as you sat next to him and asked him how his day went so far did not help. He could see right through you, could see that you did that on purpose. And this time, it worked. Jake didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want this to stop, but he had to do it or he would go insane. While you were cautiously taking notes, he took his phone out, accustomed to texting you during class by now. During a little break, you looked at your phone and grinned seeing a new message from Jake, asking you to join him in the same corridor you gave him your panties a few weeks before. You had to bite your lips to not let a big smile invade your whole face, because you knew very well what it meant, your body tingling with excitement.

At this point, Jake had no self control anymore. All he wanted was you. All he needed was you. And he was not going to survive if he didn’t actually have you in the next few minutes. However, a small part of him was anxious, overwhelming him with the doubt that maybe, just maybe, you really only wanted the game, and not him. He should have heard your footsteps resonating in the empty hallway, but he was into his thoughts and only did acknowledge your presence when you came into his view, not letting him utter a word before you grabbed him by his jacket and kissed him. His brain stopped working, wide eyed and not moving until you let him go.

“- Are you okay ?”

Jake shook his head at you, before reaching to grab your waist, pushing you against the nearest wall, lips only inches away from yours.

“- No… You’ve been driving me crazy since the first day Y/N, I want you.

- Then take me.”

That was all he needed to lean in and kiss you again, harder, messier as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You moaned against his lips, tugging him closer to you by his jacket and he took the hint, pushing his body impossibly close to yours. The way he was kissing you, as if he had an insatiable hunger for you, had you wet in seconds, and you could feel his boner pressing against your thigh, an obvious proof that you were just as desperate for this to happen.

Neither one of you was thinking about the fact that you were in a hallway, and that anyone could walk in on you, heavily making out. It didn’t matter to Jake, too lost in the taste of your lips and tongue against his to care about anything else. He finally had you all for himself, finally had you where he wanted, finally had a taste of you. And he already knew that he was going to get addicted, that he wouldn’t want anyone after you because it was like you were made for him. Eventually, you needed to breathe and had to detach yourself from his lips, Jake chasing yours and letting a quiet whine escape him when you started to grind your hips against his.

“- Fuck… Do you feel how bad I need you pretty ?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself with making sentences, not when he was holding your gaze and all you could see in his eyes was lust and desire. This look alone made you want to drop on your knees for him right now, and the way he started to pepper your neck with his kisses didn’t help either, taking a hold of his hair and moving faster against him.

“- I need you too Jake… Need you to use me…

- Don’t say that if you don’t want to get fucked for everyone to see.”

His voice had dropped lower, his hot breath fanning against the skin of your neck where you knew for sure he had already left some hickeys. And he didn’t feel guilty at all. He wanted everyone to know you were his, even if you technically weren’t. Jake knew that if he didn’t leave now, he would never have the strength to do so.

“- I have to go pretty…

- I know…”

You knew but you kissed him again anyway, hoping that the taste of his lips against yours would linger for as long as possible. When Jake finally had the courage to stop you, he was already ten minutes late for his next class and cock hard as a rock in his pants, but who cared if he got to have you all needy and desperate for him - as if he wasn’t just as needy and desperate for you.

“- Come over at mine tonight, okay ? I’ll kick Jay out, and I’ll be all yours pretty.

- Okay, text me later ?

- I will.”

Jake pressed one last kiss on your forehead before he started to run for his class, praying that it would be enough for him to calm down and stop thinking about all the things he was going to do to you.

Jake was probably more nervous right now than he had ever been in his entire life, and he had had many situations to be anxious about. However, the fact that you were going to come over in less than five minutes made his palms sweat and his heart beat faster. He didn’t really know why he was feeling so panicked, because you obviously showed him on numerous occasions how much you were yearning for him too, there was no way you would stand him. But if he did something wrong ? If it was not what you had expected and you decided that you didn’t want to see him again after that ?

This last idea in particular was running in his head. Because he didn’t want to have you just for one night, he didn’t want to fuck you and then let you walk away as if he wasn’t crazy over you, as if you didn’t make him feel shy everytime you smiled at him. But the more he was thinking about it, the more his heart ached at the scenario. So he stuck to trying to distract himself on his phone until you arrived.

He didn’t really do anything in particular, didn’t litter the whole place with rose petals and candles, but everything was cleaned perfectly and he even cooked so you had something to eat if you happened to be hungry. It was strange to be suddenly so anxious about meeting up with you. Because he was not nervous when he texted you all his fantasies about you, he was not nervous when he sent you pics and videos of his dick, he was not even nervous when he made out with you in this corridor later. But now, he could feel his hands shaking as he tried his best to open the door for you without looking like a complete idiot. But how was he supposed to stay calm and collected when you were standing at his door, wearing a little black dress that took his breath away.

“- Are you going to let me in or not ?”

Jake finally snapped out of his haze hearing your teasing tone, and he had to mentally restrain himself from letting his eyes wander all around your silhouette. And immediately, he forgot all about being anxious, grabbing you by your wrist and pulling you inside, closing the door and pushing you against it quickly. Your whole body felt on fire from his hands on your waist alone.

“- I’ve waited so long for this, pretty, wanted you since the first day.”

Your own hands came to play with his hair, bringing his face closer to yours, grinning as he tried to focus on your eyes and lips at the same time.

“- Yeah ? Wanna show me how much ?

- I’m going to make you feel so good, make you scream my name for all the neighbors to hear.”

You licked your lips, your gaze locking with each other. Slowly, Jake’s face got closer to yours, one of his hands leaving your waist to rest on your cheek, tilting your head up so he could kiss you. He wanted all this to be perfect, wanted to take his time with you, wanted to hold you close to him and satisfy every one of your needs. But as soon as he got another taste of you, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting more, all the teasing from these past months reaching its climax as he devoured you, his tongue passionately dancing with yours.

You couldn’t hide anymore the effect he had on you, the slightest brush of his thigh against yours having you sighing in his mouth. But you needed more, needed to feel more of him, more of his skin against yours. That was why you let your hands drop from his neck to the hem of his shirt, sliding your fingers underneath the material, finally able to touch the beautiful abs you could only see in pictures and videos.

Jake’s eyes landed on the hickeys he left earlier, smirking at the fact that your dress didn’t hide them at all. And he made it his mission to cover the other side of your neck as well, his kisses trailing from the corner of your mouth, along your jawline and finally landing on the sensitive skin that he immediately started licking and nipping at. He was used to hearing your little whimpers of pleasure, but it was even more addicting to hear them when he was the one provoking them, even better when he could feel your hands tugging on his hair, even better when he could grip your ass at the same time.

“- Jake… I need you…

- Mh ? But you have me pretty…”

You could feel his grin against the skin of your neck as he kept sucking on it, his hand slipping underneath your dress to feel your bare skin. He could be as cocky as he wanted, in the end he was getting even more hard just by kneading at the plush flesh of your thighs. And you knew that, and you wouldn’t let his arrogance be. One of your hands came up to grab his jaw, forcing him to look you in the eyes while the other slid down to his crotch, squeezing his hard on enough for Jake to let out a gasp of both surprise and pleasure.

“- Don’t get so confident baby, you know how good I am at edging you and you don’t want that now, do you ?

- No…”

His voice was barely above a whisper, lips parted, breathing heavily and eyes wide open. You were sometimes getting more assertive in your texts, but to really experience it was different. He loved when you were begging him, but if you wanted him to play in your fantasy and dominate him, you could bet that he would be the best sub ever.

“- Good boy. Take me to your room.”

That was all Jake needed to carry you through his apartment, managing to get to his bed while kissing you again, and again, and again. He laid you down on his sheets, unaware of how hot you thought he was for being able to do that so effortlessly. You wanted to get on top of him and worship him all night. But for now, you simply watched him discarding his shirt and sweatpants on the floor, biting your lips at the sight.

“- Come here.”

And he did it, caging you in with his arms before going back to kissing you while you let your hands roam around his body, touching up every inch of skin you could reach - his back, his arms, his abs, everything. You needed to have his skin against yours, to really feel him. His own fingers were sliding underneath your dress, caressing your thighs, your ass, your lower back. But all these clothes were getting annoying, he wanted to see you, have your whole body in display for his gaze only. He needed to see in person what you had shown him so many times in pictures and videos.

“- Can I take these off ?”

You simply nodded, a sigh of relief coming out of your mouth when Jake helped you get rid of everything you were wearing, starting from your jacket that you didn’t even have the time to discard because he immediately jumped on you. Then, he threw away your little boots and your socks, and finally your dress, revealing the black, laced lingerie set you had on. Another smirk played on your lips when you saw shock as well as lust play in his eyes.

“- You like it ?”

His hands were almost shaking as he put them back on your body, grazing the skin with his fingers slowly. If he liked it ? He could feel his cock twitching at the view alone. You were like a sinful goddess, and you were here for him only, sprawled out on his bed, waiting for him to make you feel good.

“- Fuck, yes, you’re so hot pretty… Can I touch you ?”

You smiled at him, finding his carefulness even more attractive. As an answer, you took his hands in your own, guiding them to your breast, letting him massage it over your bra as he looked at you like you casted a spell on him. And truth be told, you might have done just that because he soon found himself unable to keep his hands for himself. In the span of a few seconds, Jake had pushed your boobs out of the coffin of your bra, his lips coming down to play with one of your nipples while his fingers were giving attention to the other.

Your hands quickly came back down to grab his hair, whines leaving your mouth every time his own closed around your nipple. Your mind was already clouded with pleasure and desire, having waited for too long for exactly that to happen, and you didn’t have any patience left : you wanted his cock, and you wanted it now. In one swift movement - and because Jake didn’t expect you to do that - you managed to get him on his back where you were laying seconds before, straddling his lap. Immediately, he found your waist again, his big hands tugging you closer to his cock, where he needed you.

“- If you wanted to be on top, you could’ve just said that, princess.”

You wanted to kiss that stupid, proud grin out of his face, but instead you decided to strip him from his underwear, finally getting to see his cock for real. And it was even more pretty, even more bigger, even more perfect for you.

“- I just need your cock, I don’t care how, I just need it.”

How eager you were to touch him too had Jake groaning and releasing a moan as soon as you started to stroke his cock. He loved the fact that you simply took what you wanted from him, and he was ready to let you use him in any way you wished if that made you happy. However, all the times he imagined how your hand would feel around his dick couldn’t compare to how it really was, to how good it really was.

“- Do whatever you want to me.”

You didn’t need to be told twice to lower your head and be at the same level as his cock, sticking out your tongue immediately and coming to lick his flushed tip. The sight was unholy, tempting him to push the rest of his shaft in between your lips right now. Jake couldn’t even recall all the times he closed his eyes and thought about your mouth closing around his dick instead of his hands. And now you were really there, spitting on it and spreading your saliva before taking him in your mouth.

He couldn’t help but throw his head back, his hands coming down to take a hold of your hair, following the movement of your head. The feeling of having you suck his dick couldn’t compare to anything he had fantasized about before. And if you weren’t so busy trying to fit his big cock in your throat, you would have teased him because he looked so fucked out already and you hadn’t done anything yet. Little by little, you managed to fit all of him down your throat, and the moan he let out at you hollowing your cheeks, making you even more wet if possible.

“- Fuck ! Your mouth feels so warm, so good…”

Even when you started to bob your head up and down, he didn’t look down at your face, but you wanted his full attention, wanted to see him lose all his composure. Your hands were resting against his thighs, and you started to graze his skin with your nails, effectively getting him to open his eyes and focus on you again. Another moan left his lips just from seeing you like this.

“- Please, don’t stop…”

And you didn’t, feeling his grip on your hair tightening as you took him all the way down once more. If Jake wasn’t trying to not lose his mind over how well you were taking him, he would have loved to wipe the smug expression out of your face. But for now, all he could do was moan and whine and look at you through hooded eyes, loving how much of a mess you were, with a mix of saliva and pre-cum dribbling from the corner of your lips. He couldn’t resist anymore the urge to thrust his cock up in your mouth, closing his eyes again at the feeling of your tight throat around him.

“- Wanna cum in your mouth so bad pretty, can I ? Please, please, let me…”

You hummed in agreement, far too fucked out yourself to do anything else than taking what he was giving to you. At this point, he was simply using you for his own pleasure but you just let him because you loved it, loved how he claimed you by ruining your throat.

“- Shit Y/N ! Gonna fill you up, yeah ?”

A moan escaped you, the vibration sending Jake over the edge, his hips halting their movement, buried deep inside of your warm mouth and spilling his load right there, your eyes watering as you tried to swallow it all. Jake felt on cloud nine, and he knew that he would not need anyone else for the rest of his life because you were definitely made for him, perfect for him. You got one second to breathe when Jake pulled on your hair, taking you away from his cock and bringing you up to his lips, kissing you deeply and tasting himself on your tongue, loving the nasty mix of both your saliva and his cum. When he finally let you go, you couldn’t help but zeroing again on his red, swollen lips that he was biting while looking intently at you.

“- You did so well for me, pretty, such a good girl.”

His forehead was pressed against yours, cupping your face, thumbs whipping away the tears who had rolled down your cheeks. You felt even more turned on by how thoughtful he was, by his praises, by his sweet gestures despite being so rough with you.

“- Need you Jake…

- Want me to return the favor ?

- Yes, please…”

You felt so desperate for any kind of touch, your body tingling with anticipation as Jake switched position and laid you down on the bed again. He’ll get you to sit on his face another time, when his mind will be clear enough, when he’ll have the patience and self control to make you cum at least two times. He quickly got rid of your bra, even if you looked heavenly in them. But the sight of your naked body was even more appealing. Soon, his hands were all over you again, roaming around your skin and making you shiver. His lips found purchase on your neck again, littering it with more of his kisses and marks.

“- Don’t tease, please, I want you so bad…”

A single swear escaped Jake’s lips as he helped you out of your panties, bringing them to his nose and making a show out of sniffing them and groaning at the intoxicating scent, allowing you to picture how he looked when he had jerked off with your ruined underwear. Then, he threw them away somewhere in his room, not caring where it landed and grabbing you by your thighs to bring you close to his face, holding them wide open for him. The view of your bare and wet pussy had him getting hard all over again.

“- Such a pretty cunt baby, bet you taste just as sweet.”

His praises had you shying away from his dark gaze, but you were not able to hold back your little whimpers. Jake chuckled lightly before diving straight into your wet folds, having had enough of teasing you when he was just as desperate to taste you as you were to feel him. The second he licked up your wetness, it was over for him. He could be as cocky as he wanted but not when he felt his cock throbbing only at the taste of your pussy, not when you were invading all his senses as he buried his face between your plush thighs, sucking harshly on your clit.

Every moan that came out of your lips only spurred him on to continue, to go harder. When he felt you squirming around, he made sure to grip your thighs and keep them in place for him to have better access to your cunt. The way his skillful tongue was taking turns between playing with your clit, licking up your folds and going inside had you losing your mind already, both hands coming down to tug on his hair as if you wanted to keep him there forever.

“- Fuck ! Jake…”

He opened his eyes again at hearing your cries of his name, diving in your lustful gaze. Your parted lips allowed you to whine out everytime his mouth was on you, your cheeks were dusted pink because of the unbearable heat of your body and your hair was a tangled mess, thanks to Jake’s hands earlier. But to him, you never looked better, an heavenly sight for only him to witness.

“- Feels good pretty ?”

You nodded along, a quiet whimper echoing through the room at the loss of contact with his wet muscle.

“- Yes ! Yes, so good…”

Jake knew that, but to hear you say it had a smirk playing on his lips, and you couldn’t even be mad about it because he was looking insanely hot doing it. You could feel the pad of his fingers creeping up the skin between your knees and hips, so slowly it made shivers come alive on your whole body. And when he was almost touching your wet folds, he started all over again with your other leg, this time going as far as debuting at your ankle, and coming up even more lazily.

“- Please…

- Please what, pretty ?

- You know what I’m talking about !”

Your pouting face was too cute for Jake to not want to tease you more. He loved it when you made him go crazy, loved when you were getting him hard in the most inappropriate situations because you sent him a picture of your boobs. But it was also enjoyable to have you in the palm of his hand, dying for him to touch you. He rested his hands on the insides of your thighs, so close to where you needed him and yet so far away.

“- Hum, I don’t think so baby, you need to use your words if you want something.”

The grin on his face got even wider when he witnessed the way your hole clenched around nothing at his demanding tone, at his deep, low voice. He suspected that you had a thing for it since you were always biting your lips when he facetimed you early in the morning or late at night with his hoarse voice.

“- Come on, don’t get shy on me now, you told me a lot more worse before.”

You did. You definitely did with all the filthy texts you exchanged, and all the photos, videos and audios you sent, and your panties which were still sitting in one of his drawers like the ultimate proof of how naughty you were.

“- Want your fingers…

- Here we go. That wasn't so difficult, princess, was it ?”

You shook your head no as Jake dived back into your cunt, his lips finding their spot back on your clit, while his hand finally reached your wet folds. His touch was as light as a feather, but still enough to tear a noise out of you, still enough to make you crave more. All it took was a slight tug on the strands of hair you were still gripping and suddenly, you could feel one of his fingers entering you slowly, so as to not hurt you.

“- Good ?”

You nodded energetically, releasing a sigh of relief to have something filling your empty pussy, and you didn’t even need to tell Jake for him to understand that you wanted more, inserting another finger while still playing with your clit with his tongue. And when he started to pump his fingers in and out, you knew that you wouldn’t last long, especially not when he seemed to have figured out exactly how to make you lose your mind. You couldn't stop the noises from coming out of your mouth anymore, pushing Jake's head even closer to your core if that was even possible, grinding on his face as pleasure coursed through your veins and the knot in your stomach snapped.

Your breath was knocked out of your lungs, and you almost didn't feel his gentle kisses on your inner thighs to help you come down off your high. What you did feel though was him pulling out his fingers and bringing them to your lips. He smiled sweetly at your obedience, watching you through his lashes as you opened your mouth and let him bury them inside, even moaning around his fingers just like you did around his dick.

“- So good for me, fuck, you're so pretty…”

He wanted to lick off your lips the string of saliva connecting them to his fingers, wanted to make out with you and your pussy for the rest of his life. Silence came back in his room, only broken by your heavy breathings, looking into each other's eyes as if you could read your minds.

“- You’re gonna fuck me or not ?”

Your teasing smirk and the challenging tone of your voice brought a grin on his face, which widened at the strangled moan you let out when he grabbed your hips and forced you to turn around, getting you on your knees, ass up and pushing your head down his pillow. He was doing with his hands everything he did with his words : ordering you around, telling you how to place the camera so he had the best view of your dripping cunt, not letting you cum before he did. Without letting you have any more time to think, Jake was pushing the tip of his cock between your folds, sliding right in with how wet you were. You couldn’t see him from your position, but you could hear his deep groan as you clenched around him.

“- All you need is a little bit of dick to shut your big mouth uh ?”

You wanted to protest, to say no, to answer something that would have made him shut up, but all that came out of your lips was a cry of his name as he thrusted all the way in. If he wasn’t holding your hips up, you would’ve collapsed, overwhelmed by the rush of pleasure in your body at feeling so full suddenly.

“- Yeah, that’s it, just a slut who needs to be fucked.”

As much as Jake wanted to sound composed, his voice was shaking, and the moan that left him just after was really far from composed. The feeling of your tight, warm, velvety walls had him wondering why he waited so long before fucking you because it had to be what heaven felt like. Slowly, he pulled his cock out, only to thrust back inside roughly, the sound of your whimpers mingling with his deep groans.

“- Fuck ! You’re perfect for my cock, pretty little pussy.”

At this point, you could only whine in his pillow, mumbling on and on about how good he felt, about how you had wanted this for so long. And Jake wanted to be cocky about it, wanted to tease you for being so desperate for his cock, but he wasn’t doing any better, barely resisting the urge of painting your walls white on the spot. You had told him so many times over text and even during your calls how much you wanted him to fuck you raw, how much you needed him to fill you up to the brim, it was the only thing he could think about right now.

“- You want me to fill you up with my cum ? Is that what you want ?”

You moaned in response, your brain too mushy to think about anything else than the way the tip of his cock was hitting your sweet spot over and over. But that didn’t seem to satisfy him as he pulled on your hair, yanking your head back. Another noise fell out of your lips at his rough actions and you could feel the smirk on his lips when they brushed against your ear while he was talking.

“- Words pretty.

- Yes, fuck ! I want your cum Jake, want it all, please !”

- Such a good little slut, shit !”

You felt your eyes watering again with the increasing speed of Jake’s thrusts, the rush of pleasure through your body too good to resist anymore. Your orgasm washed over you before you could even register it, leaving you a moaning and incoherent mess in his hold. The feeling of your cunt getting even more tight was enough for Jake to cum too, spilling his load inside of you with a throaty groan.

You were tired, but still, the tingling sensation in your core was there. You wanted more of his cock, more of his moans, more of his hands on you, more of him. A quiet whine fell from your lips when Jake started kissing your back up and down, his hands caressing your hips to soothe the skin he had marked. And you knew all of this was supposed to be sweet and caring, but all it did was turn you on even more, your cunt squeezing his cock that was still buried inside. You felt some of his cum spilling out and sliding down your thighs, followed closely by a swear from Jake.

“- You’re getting me hard again pretty…”

You turned your head to look at him, cheeks flushed and eyes glossy, lips swollen and red from his kisses, and hair a mess because of his hands. And Jake could swear it was the most divine you’ve ever looked - when he had just ruined you.

“- Let me ride you then.

- Fuck, yes.”

You chuckled at his eagerness when he pulled out from your leaking cunt, trying not to drool at the sight as he plopped down on his bed, grabbing your thighs and bringing you on his lap. But you couldn’t really make fun of him when you had dreamt about this for just as long. You traced along the marks that already started to blossom on his skin, grinning proudly at your work and loving how sensitive Jake was, taking a deep breath as you took his cock in your hand, brushing the tip against your entrance.

“- Y/N… Please…”

The way the word came so easily to him paired with his whine of your name convinced you to not make him wait any longer and to sink on his dick instead, both of you moaning at the feeling. It felt so much deeper this way, and you knew only from the photos that he was big, but you were only acknowledging just how much now.

“- Feels so good Jake, love your big cock…”

He desperately wanted to answer something, wanted to tell you how delicious you were, but you took his breath away when you started rocking your hips back and forth. And suddenly, the only thing he was able to think about was you. His hands were on your waist, but he didn’t have enough consciousness left to even help you bounce up and down, simply staring at you, mesmerized.

A flood of dirty words was coming out of your mouth, praising him and his dick, telling him how good he felt, how handsome he was. And Jake loved the attention, loved to feel your hands dangerously close to his neck, close enough for him to want your fingers wrapped around his throat, close enough for you to purposely restrict his breathing a little without really choking him. Only the squelching of your mixed juices and the ones of your cries of pleasure could be heard in the room, both of you too fucked out to care about anything else than your release.

“- Can I cum inside again, pretty, please ? Please, let me…

- Yes, want it so bad !”

Jake closed his eyes as he felt his orgasm approaching, lifting his hips to meet your thrusts. He was only able to do it a few times before his cock twitched, cumming deep inside. He kept you down on his lap until he felt on the verge of passing out. The erotic moans and whimpers he let out triggered your own climax, and everything was even more intense because of the slight overstimulation. You grinned your hips against him a few more times before your arms and legs gave out and you collapsed on top of him, his arms immediately wrapping around your sweaty body.

You closed your eyes for a moment, and you were almost ready to fall asleep when Jake moved you off of him and stood up. You whined and grabbed him by his wrist, trying to pull him back to the bed with you.

“- I’m just going to take something to clean us up pretty, I’ll be quick, promise.”

Jake smiled fondly at your pouty lips before kissing them and running to the bathroom to find a towel. He rapidly cleaned your skin, delicately whipping it down and handed you one of his shirts to cover up when he saw you shiver. He discarded the towel on the floor, not having the energy to do anything else than going to sleep with you in his arms right now. He slipped under the covers after having put on some shorts.

You directly snuggled up to him, hiding your face in his neck and breathing his scent in. And Jake couldn’t help the big smile stretching out his lips when he tightened his hold around your waist and distinctly heard you hum against his skin.

“- Y/N ?”

You lifted your head when he broke the comfortable silence that had settled between the two of you, taking in his soft smile, his shiny eyes and his disheveled hairs. Maybe he had looked more put together before, but to you, he was the most beautiful like this.

“- Will you be my girlfriend ?”

And you couldn’t help but reciprocate his smile and shake your head. Sometimes, he was very silly. Sometimes, he could be considered childish. But he was able to bring back sunshine when your days were filled with gray clouds, and he could make you laugh anytime you felt down. Your hands came up to cup his face, delicately brushing your thumbs against his cheekbones.

“- You know, you’re very charming Jake Sim, it’s hard to resist you.”

This time, it was him who hid in your neck, holding you even tighter if it was possible. And you giggled heartedly, a sound that Jake would never get sick of hearing. And maybe he had lost your game, but he had won something even more precious.

BONUS :

You picked up your phone when getting out of the store, holding a little plastic bag with everything you needed to cook a delicious breakfast for you and Jake. Speaking of whom, you had a bunch of messages from him, asking where you were, and if you had ran away. Texts saying how sorry he was if he was too pushy last night, that he would let you as much time as you wanted if it was what you needed. And endless apologies, over and over. You only answered with a quick message letting him know that you would be back quickly.

Meanwhile, Jake was really panicking. When he woke up and felt the space beside him empty and that your clothes weren’t littering the floor of his bedroom anymore, all remnants of sleepiness left his body, immediately looking around the apartment to see if you were anywhere. It was stupid, he knew it, if you had left, it was certainly for a good reason, but he couldn’t help asking himself if maybe you had come to the conclusion that you didn’t want to be with him. He sat down on one of the kitchen stools, biting his nails while waiting for you to say something else but you didn’t, and stress took over him again.

When you pushed the door open, you were only met with Jake's worried look waiting for you in the kitchen. He was only wearing the same pair of gray sweatpants as last night and you couldn’t stop your mind from going back to how good it all felt, but the object of your fantasies stopped your thoughts from going too far.

“- Where were you !?

- I was at the store down the street, to buy us breakfast.”

You lifted your bag and dropped it on the kitchen counter before making your way over to Jake until you could run your fingers through his hair. The hands of the boy came up to rest on your waist, only noticing now that you were wearing his clothes, his heart beating faster at the view.

“- Didn’t you see my note ?”

You looked around and saw that it was still where you had left it, immediately showing it to Jake who was getting more and more embarrassed for getting so worked up over something so stupid.

“- I’m sorry, I just thought that maybe you didn’t mean what you said last night and that you realized that this morning and decided to leave…”

Jake hesitantly looked up at your face to find you smiling fondly at him. You leaned down to place a kiss on his lips, and another one, and another one, until you had peppered his whole face with kisses and made him giggle shyly.

“- You’re an idiot if you think you’re going to get away from me so easily, I’m not letting you go.

- Good, because I don’t want you to.”

-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my post.

-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword

enha masterlist (fill in this to be added) :

@bbgnyx @hann1bee @iraisswiftie

#enhypen #enhypen fics #enhypen x reader #enhypen smut #enha #enha fics #enha x reader #enha smut #jake sim #jake smut #jake sim x reader #jake x reader #college au #eli: lost the game

2K notes · View notes

nobrashfestivity · 4 months

Text

Everyone Hates Poetry 2024

Rules

Write a poem before Feb.5th and submit it to me with the submit feature or in an ask.

Poems should be less than 500 words

You can use your real name or your blog name but they can't be completely anonymous.

Poems will be published at 9pm on Wednesdays and then a link to each poem will be added to the bottom of this pinned post so people can read them all.

I can't stop anyone from reblogging their own poems and generally sharing art is a wonderful thing, but don't turn it into some kind of social media campaign. because people with a small number of followers would be at a disadvantage. This is supposed to be fun. Please do reblog this post and tag people if you think you know someone on tumblr that might be interested. Since the post will contain links to the submissions, your poem will not be lost in the shuffle.

If I receive less than 10 entries I'll cancel the contest and consider it a failed experiment.

Public voting will begin after the 5th.and account for 50% of the vote

A panel of judges will also vote but will not submit poems themselves, and their votes will make up the other 50% of the final tally.

.There will be small prizes for the winner and runner up.

This is my art blog and will remain so, as it always has been. I'm doing this because poets here don't get much chance to get their stuff read and I have a fair number of followers. It's just a little thing to do if you want. I'm not turning this into a poetry blog or a contest blog or anything else.

Poems don't need to be finished. Due to the one month time frame I would suspect these would be first drafts, but please write something new. I want to encourage people to do something now, however imperfect, rather than showing work that's already done.

Updates will follow. Thank you!

Rule clarifications

-Please dont send poems anonymously if at all possible. I am happy to include a name that doesn't identify your blog directly but it's impossible to refer to or contact people who submit poems anonymously. I can't have anonymous poems considered without at least a name for you and if you were to win a prize, you'd need a name and address to claim it. I don't so much care about the latter part, that's for you, this becomes very disorganized and hard to regulate with anonymous messages floating in.

-Please put the title of your poem above it. If it is below it, I have no way of distinguishing with certainty if it's a title or a last line.

One poem per person please.

if you do not wish to see the poetry contest entries just filter the tag "everyone hates poetry 2024"

Due to the very high volume of submissions I am blogging them more gradually as to give more attention to each one. The same tag, "everyone hates poetry 2024", that you can filter if you do not want to see these can be used to find the submissions. If you follow this tag you'll get them all.

Please note that I am now publishing these as asks, previously I had to retype to keep the formatting and there are simply too many entries

Submissions are now closed, I will be publishing submissions all week and then when all have been posted we will start the voting (stay tuned as to how and when)

#nobrashfestivity #everyone hates poetry #poetry #poetry contest #everyone hates poetry 2024

1K notes · View notes

iwonderwh0 · 10 months

Text

I accidentally wrote two more scenes, continuing the idea in this post (and associated reblogs) about Connor temporarily existing in Hank's devices (I don't reblog it this time, because I forgot to do that). One is below, and another one is not yet fully finished, so I'll probably post it later.

"Ah, fucking asshole!" Hank slammed the brakes.

"What happened?" Connor asked, his voice coming from a speaker.

"This prick just cut me off."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, you're not," Hank glanced at the dash camera he previously found in his garage – it still wasn't plugged in and he wasn't even sure if it had any memory card inside, but now he thought that it might be a good idea to turn it on, or to try, at least. He slowed down at the traffic light and as his car came to a complete stop searched for the hanging cable.

"I just remembered that I have a dash cam."

"Are you going to turn it on?"

Hank plugged in the cable and pressed the "on" button – small LED informed him that recording has started.

"Nah."

From a satisfied sound Hank concluded that android found his way to now fully working dash camera.

"Thank you."

For a couple of minutes they drove in silence, interrupted only by some occasional static from the speaker.

"See that woman in front of you?" Connor asked at some point.

"The one with red Honda? I don't see who's driving it, but yeah, whatever. What about her?"

"She's an attorney. She has two kids and she recently filed a divorce, but her husband doesn't know it yet."

"And you're telling me this why exactly?"

"I don't know. I thought it was interesting, and I doubt you'll ever see her again – her vehicle is registered in a different state."

"You know, the way you can just do shit like that makes me...Shit, I don't even know. It's unnerving," Hank removed one of his hands from a steering wheel for a moment to gesture at the last sentence, even though he knew Connor wouldn't see it.

"I've only used publicly available information starting from her license plate number -- it is a part of the public record anyway -- and the rest of it wasn't too hard to find online, knowing her legal name."

"Not sure if it makes it better or worse."

"If it makes you feel better, there is not much I can find this way about you. Most of what I assume were your accounts are either deleted or haven't been updated in years. There are, however, other accounts that are referencing you, and some of them are quite active to this day."

"Even if I never posted anything at all, those jackals would do that for me," Hank shook his head, "Great. Not like I didn't know that already."

He tried to remember whatever it was Connor could even find on his abandoned profile. He barely used it in recent years and only kept it for the sake of getting reminded about upcoming birthdays, even though he didn't really care much about any of them. Still, it felt useful enough.

"And who the fuck is even referencing me?" He asked after a pause.

"It's not something recent, if that's what you're asking. Most of it is dated at least three years back."

"I'm asking names."

"Just your colleagues, mostly, and-"

"My ex wife?"

"Yes."

Hank thought about the last time he saw her. It was the day of Cole's funeral. He avoided looking in her direction during the whole ceremony, cautious not to make any eye-contact. He wasn't there for her, and neither was she. They didn't talk this day.

"Sometimes I wonder how she's doing..," Hank said, without actually meaning to. Over the past three days, it had started to happen to him more and more often - thinking something and blurting it out loud the same moment without a second thought. Not all of it was something he actually wanted to share or hear a response to, but at the same time there was some comfort in knowing that someone would listen, no matter what he had to say. He wondered if Connor was secretly getting tired of him, but at the same time, it didn't seem like he was, as whenever Hank remained quiet for longer than a couple of minutes, the android would say something himself and encouraged Hank to respond, say something. Anything, even if it's just a humming sound, acknowledging his presence.

Connor's voice brought Hank back from his thoughts.

"Do you want me to-"

"-No! Not like this. I just-," he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, thinking "I don't know, I don't want to know too much. Just wondering if..," he sighed, "Shit. Forget it, okay?"

For a while it was quiet, and Hank already decided that it was over when android spoke again.

"She's fine. It seems like she's in a relationships, but not engaged. No kids, two dogs."

"So she moved on, huh...Good to know."

"You're welcome."

"I didn't ask you to do that, by the way."

"Not directly, but I'm good at reading between the lines."

"Only when you don't need to."

"Hank?"

Hank hummed in response, turning on the signal lights to make a turn.

"Do you..."

For the second time of the day Hank hit the brakes when another vehicle abruptly squeezed into the tiny gap in front of him, coming dangerously close to hitting both his car and the one next in line.

"Shit, did you see that? Fucker needs his license recalled."

"I didn't catch it. I can only process a frame every three seconds or so."

"Wait, you serious? So all this time you've been watching a slideshow, not even a laggy video?"

"Basically. I can't process visual data at the same speed I can process audio, as it leaves me almost no space to process anything else, making it quite useless. I do, however, appreciate seeing something, even if it's just static images every couple of seconds."

Hearing it was...upsetting. More so than Hank expected, although he wasn't sure why. He abruptly thought if maybe his phone is too old and it was the time for an update anyway, but then remembered that Connor was saying something just before he got distracted.

"What were you saying before?"

"Oh.. I think you should turn here and go around, there's a huge traffic jam ahead."

"Really?" Hank frowned and glanced at his GPS unit. It usually warned him about things like traffic jams, but it seemed usual, no warnings of any kind. Hank thought about it for a moment, then turned to drive around anyway. Maybe Connor was right. Maybe he was lying. Hank didn't feel like questioning him this time. Maybe he will do that later, "Thanks."

For a few seconds there was some static coming from a speaker. It got louder for a few seconds, then became slightly softer, and after another second it disappeared completely.

#dbh #dbh connor #dbh hank #Fic ideas that I'll never write #<- I mean it doesn't really belong here anymore as I'm kinda writing it but I'll still tag it to keep it together #+ I don't believe it'll be formed into an actual fic so it kinda counts anyway #dbh fanfiction #pocket ghost

50 notes · View notes

somuchcoffeeandwine · 6 months

Text

All right, fellow MCU fans

So, after seeing the Marvels today, it got me thinking. Now, you probably don't know who I am. But I do happen to be a writer. Not a very good one mind you (several people would say otherwise, but shush, give me my self-loathing) Phase 4 (and the current parts of 5) is not that great. So I want to rewrite the Multiverse Saga. Yes. The entire thing. Even though it's not finished.

Very long blocks of text below. It's really the only thing that keeps me organized. Please read it though if you are interested. It'll be split up into sections, for somewhat easy perusal.

Now, I know this is an ambitious project, and one not done. I am no stranger to things like this, see my own game/show I'm making. (This is the only time I'm going to mention it. But I am pretty proud of it) So, for my very small amount of sanity, I'm stopping it at The Marvels, and Loki season 2 (Oops, still not finished with it yet). And I wanted to ask people what they thought was lackluster, or mediocre. Not the Marvel I and many other people grew up on. I do understand that it was flawed before, but when I recently rewatched most of them, I found that my childhood love for them had blossomed into something new. I was 6 when the first Avengers came out. I learned how to shoot a bow because of Hawkeye in that movie. And I think it deserves better, especially after watching the Marvels.

Now, this means everything after Endgame. So from Black Widow to The Marvels in terms of the movies, and the Disney+ series from Wandavision to Loki Season 2. I have a feeling it's going to take me a second to get through the remaining 5 episodes of Loki S2. My family wants to watch it with me, and they're all decently busy... Anyways, that's 10 movies, and 9 series. Although I don't accept Secret Invasion. Like at all. Anyways.

I have yet to decide what I'm going to publish this on. Probably A03, just because that's easiest for me. And I can organize much easier. Do let me know what you think.

So, before I get into the problems I've identified, feel free to stop here, and reblog or ask me your problems with the aforementioned shows and movies. I'm talking writing or character problems, as we've seen in the series. I am a fan of the comics, but you can divert from that, or stick to them.

Oh, and if you say something like "Make it more queer", I am a raging bisexual enby. I will already be making it queer as fuck, and can be convinced to ship pretty much anyone, if I can get a good reasoning behind it. Minors should be shipped with only minors. That's one of my few rules, if you send anything to me. So yeah, I'm doing genderfluid Loki.

Thoughts on everything:

This is just here so that I don't get a ton of repeats. I'll go movies first, then the TV shows.

Black Widow (2021) - Honestly, this is too late of a movie. Natasha deserved this before Endgame or Infinity War came out. But release dates aside, Taskmaster needs more screentime, and a chance to show how menacing they are. Natasha also needs more time with her family, and the parents need to be fleshed out a bit more. Belova is far too smart to be tricked by the lady in the post-credit scene.

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (2021) - I don't have any major problems with this movie. The Great Protector, or the dragon, and the supernatural creature, I think he's called Dweller In Darkness, kinda felt a little blank, and the Dweller shouldn't have died, only been pushed back. And I don't like Katy that much. Trevor is much better comedic relief in my opinion.

Eternals (2021) - Oh boy, where do we start with this one? You know it's bad if I can't remember any of the main characters names besides Ikarus. And that's because I was laughing my ass off at him throwing himself into the sun. There was also the Celestial I think it was? Anyways that thing broke islands up, and then just became a massive statue, and like no one mentions it? I don't remember much else about this movie, even after having watched it like 3 times. Oh, and the Ebony Blade was shown off. I like that if they can do something fun with that.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) - Dr. Strange feels a little shoe-horned in. The whole sanctum being overtaken by snow was pretty clever, but Strange being a father figure to Peter is not super well established. Could be fixed with a couple of rewrites. Or Strange and Stark being together. Peter is a dumbass, and the reason for him starting the whole plot... is so dumb. I understand, teenagers can be stupid, hell, I go to public high school, but Peter's shown he's a lot smarter than this. But I do like the crossover (Dafoe as Green Goblin my beloved) and the fact that the other Spidermen get to say goodbye in one last movie. Anyways, Ned's wizard connections need to be elaborated on as well.

Doctor Strange: Multiverse Of Madness (2022) - Alright, getting my biggest problem out of the way first. Wanda's corruption arc should have been shown. It should have been developed through the movie, and Wanda should have been with Strange and America. She can still be evil, and die after she realizes her actions, but this basically destroys the point of Wandavision. She was willing to say goodbye. Wanda has been a favorite of mine for years, and I read her comics religiously as a child. We need to see the power of the Scarlet Witch. What it did without Wanda. Her "No More Mutants" line sent chills down my spine the first time I read it. Sam Raimi directed this movie. Strange and Wanda should have had more horrific shit. And that one Strange with 3 eyes should have been the one from What If. We need horror in this. America also needs to be more fleshed out. I do love her, but we get like one scene of her being traumatized of basically growing up nowhere. Her moms get to stay though. I'm just going to ignore the last post-credit scene, because... that's setting something up I'm not sure of.

Thor: Love & Thunder (2022) - First up, Gorr has a great setup. He needed more screentime though. We need to see more of his god killing. They should rightfully be shitting their pants over this man. Thor leaving to save Sif was a good move, but that joke ruined the tension. She should have died there, proof of the god killer. Jane Foster is perfectly fine, and her arc is a lovely send-off. I would have loved some more stuff about the kids, especially Heimdall's. I don't even remember his name. He should have been shown doing something in Jane's return to Asgard, something that showed off his parentage. The meeting of the gods is a great scene, but there should have been people who spoke up, and then promptly getting thrown out, or even getting killed. Even more of a reason for Thor and crew to convince him. I think everything else is pretty good. Also Valkyrie is perfect in this movie. Bi queen. And her Loki knives are lovely.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) - I actually think this one just needs a couple of little tweaks. I understand why they couldn't have T'Challa show up in the spirit world, and Killmonger was great, but I still think something between the siblings would be good. Fuck, I love the funeral scene. It was a lovely sendoff to both T'Challa, and Chadwick. Namor seems a little rash though. Might just be the comics leaking through on that matter but I do like the Mayan inspirations in the movie!

Antman: Quantumania (2023) - I'm not really sure on this movie. I don't like Janet in this movie. She feels too secretive. She could have told them plenty, even lied that Kang had gone home. He'd gotten out somehow. Kang didn't seem scared enough of the others, but that might just be me thinking of that. Oh, and MODOK sucked. He shouldn't be a joke. But Darren could have done something else, because he is in there.

Guardians of The Galaxy V.3 (2023) - Perfection in every way. I'm not changing anything unless it involves getting everything I'm incorporating in. And the Christmas Special is also great.

The Marvels (2023) - Spoilers! Kamala needed more screentime, she just generally felt disconnected from the plot besides her bangle. And I also wanted a more menacing villain. That's been the problem with them recently. They don't make me think that they could actually beat them. I like everything else though. Flerkins were great as usual. I love these stupid creatures so much. That one scene was beautiful.

Now to the shows! These are going to be so much shorter.

Wandavision (2021) - I think this is good. No notes.

Loki S1 (2021) - Good, besides the Sylvie/Loki romance. They are siblings. I'm not sure if there's anything else that I really had a problem with. It's been a moment. Which is a shame. I love Loki (Also bi confirmation! I love it!)

The Falcon & Winter Soldier (2021) - I also think this is good, besides maybe having some problems with the villain. Bromance all the way.

What If...? (2021) - Also pretty good. Little self-contained story. I like the zombies.

Hawkeye (2021) - I also think this one's pretty well written. Macaroni is constantly referenced in my house. Lucky is also a pretty boy.

Moonknight (2022) - Honestly, god tier. Anyways, no one mentioned the stars literally turning in Egypt. But maybe it was just the people thinking that they were drunk as shit and seeing something.

Ms. Marvel (2022) - Second favorite being Moonknight. I also don't remember anything glaringly wrong.

She-Hulk: Attorney At Law (2022) - Besides the tone of the show being inconsistent as shit, I think this show should have dove into some of the topics it brought up more. It just seemed a little surface level. Maybe a WWDITS style mockumentary would work better.

Secret Invasion (2023) - THIS ENTIRE SHOW SUCKS ASS. THIS WHOLE THING WAS DONE SO BADLY. I am not taking anything from this show

Loki S2 (2023) - Too distracted by another season 2 coming out, so I have yet to finish. I have heard it's good though. I've seen the first episode, and it's going pretty good so far.

Well, you made it to the bottom! Yay!

...This took me an hour to write. I did get the doc set up. And got a bit of an outline set up.

#marvel #loki #wandavision #secret invasion #she hulk #hawkeye #ms marvel #moon knight #falcon and the winter soldier #the marvels #marvel mcu #mcu #writing #writeblr #long post

16 notes · View notes

pffbts · 4 months

Text

a goodbye letter.

hello everyone, it's been a long time, isn't it?

i haven't written anything in months and tbh even if i wanted to further give life to all my wips, i wish i had even a drop of motivation and energy to do so. some of you might have as well forgotten about my little blog, which had its own humble beginnings. and tbh i don't mind at all. it's been, i don't know almost 5+ years that i've had this blog. i started it out during the last two years of my high school, when i was struggling very much to cope with all the pressure and anxiety. this little corner of the internet became my comfort space. i could pour my heart out into snippets of letters and the love that i received from all of you who were there from the beginning only fueled my passion to write more and of course, helped me immensely in escaping the cruelty of my reality.

since then, i have graduated school. my reality is still harsh but i'm surviving. i have also graduated from my college with two degrees that i was doing simultaneously. currently, i'm preparing to sit down for my master's 1st-year exam coming months and job surfing at the same time. tbh i wish i had enough energy and positivity to motivate myself to pen down something. but it seems like we have to finally pull the curtains down on this blog.

yes, there is a lot of stuff that's still pending to be completed as you will know if you care to check my masterlist. but i'm not going to give you any false hope by saying that someday i will magically come back and finish and place them all in front of you. it would be too selfish of me to keep you on your toes like that.

i know i've let down a lot of you. many have told me me how much, especially my letters have helped you guys during hard times. even though i know i shouldn't even bother to think like this considering i know none of you in-person. still, it's the crippling humanity in me. honestly, i feel sad for myself. my life took so many things away from me. even the capacity to keep this comfort space alive for myself. some of you have left a long time ago. probably life has happened to you all too. i have also met some of you during the latter part of my journey here and i'm very glad that you all loved my work even with all my incompetency in keeping up with the schedules. you guys were too kind to me.

this actually came too suddenly - this realization that something needs to end. i don't think there will come any other time in the future when i'll read fanfics or write them myself. but it's a bit too much to delete the whole blog considering the reblogs will still exist in the tumblr algorithm. therefore, the letters will still be up along with the fics.

although i don't think i will stop writing. i have my substack where i will experiment with my creative writing but that's just my way of growing up as a writer. these days i'm too busy both in my head and physically, i wish i can overcome becoming a moss. my produce is sparse but my want is bigger than that. although for fanfics, there's no want anymore. i've had my fill and i'm sad to say, this is where we part.

pffbts is thus archived. all my posts will remain. if you send in any mundane sweet ask, i will answer them as soon as possible. kindly please don't send in any requests for fics (i've had to delete a couple of them from my ask box and it felt terrible.) i'm not completely going away. as a person, i will stay. it's just the fanfic writing part of me that will take a permanent leave. i'm almost 24 and it's been almost 10 years that i've started out in creating fanfics. i think it's enough, nah? plus writing this post for you all has strangely made me feel calm, as a certain baggage has been let down from my shoulders.

thank you to you all from the past & the present. i hope you all stay well and healthy. it has been truly a good time to have you all with me.

-K.

#a:pffbts #personal

10 notes · View notes

romaine2424 · 10 months

Text

Daily Blog June 23, 2023

When I used to post on LJ I would often have a post called Tidbits, that is what I think today's post will be like. A lot of unrelated things, but then again some are. Hope you enjoy.

What I'm Reading:

The Light More Beautiful by @firethesound. It's 4 chapters and around 81K. I'm close to finishing chapter 3 and will do so later tonight along with the last chapter. Family and house responsibilities intruded on my fandom fun. LOL I'm so enjoying the story. I really really like reading and writing about older H/D (meaning not Hogwarts or 8th year). Here, I think they're in there late 20's. The fic is canon divergent at some point in HBP where a potion accident happens that effects them greatly, however, the main part of the story takes place 13 years later.

Draco has been trained as an Auror in the US and specializes in creating spying instruments and other things that help Aurors (think of Q in James Bond). Harry is training Aurors since he was waylaid by an injury, which I've yet to discover what happened to him. Draco returns to the UK to find out Pots and Pans (I love this so much), who are Harry and Pansy are best buds. And Draco also returns with his huge crush on Harry fully intact. The interplay between H/D is top notch with lots of sparks, hilarious banter, but also soft moments. Truly lovely. Oh and the acronyms!!! Highly recommend! Can't wait to finish it tonight.

Tumblr Posts of Interest:

Francesca Coppa, one of the original OTW founders, made a post about joining @fanhackers (A place where fans, academics, aca-fans and all manner of enthusiastic fannish people can come together and squee over cool research.) If you enjoy meta and fandom research definitely give a follow, too.

2. The the @thedrarrylibrarian hosts Happy Hour on Fridays with friends of the Library. I'll do a separate post later about @thedrarrylibrarian because they're awesome! But what caught my eye is their hosting @phdmama. Usually, the person they select recs a story that they love that hasn't gotten much play. @phdmama, however, chose to discuss re-reads. This is the way she so artfully stated her reasoning, "Reading, quite literally, has saved my life and transformed it. So I thought I’d highlight of few of those fics that have impacted me so profoundly. These fics are comfort food for my brain. These are fics I come back to, over and over and over again. They live in my soul." And I nodded my head reading her choices. I hope you check out the post and her selections.

What crossed my mind while reading the post was that there are fics that are in my top 10 favs, that I've only read once. I call them my Saving Private Ryan fics. Seeing that movie was an experience, one I'll never forget, but I don't think my heart could handle a second time. I put Frayach's The Price We Pay for Wings in this category. I will never understand how that fic is only 13K. It was written in 2007 for hd_holidays, and remains one of the most beautifully written h/d stories bar none.

Add-ons for yesterday's blog:

For Fan Fair, @phoenixacid heavily promotes commenting on Fair's fics, artwork, and podfics. There is a contest where you are put in a group of random folks who've asked to be involved. And the groups compete against each other for points. Points are given for comments and more points for a rec. So I'm not the only one commenting on all the fics. LOL @caroll-in and I were on the same team last year, I don't think that will happen again. We killed the competition!

@snowingalway commented on my blog yesterday with further clarification of what art is archived and what is reblogged. I found it very helpful. Here's the link with her comment at the end

Older Fic Rec:

So as I mentioned above, I hadn't re-read The Price We Pay for Wings, but when I went to get the link, I discovered something I didn't know existed...a sequel. I didn't know that Frayach had written one, I had left fandom just before. A Flame Undampened is as beautiful as the first, though I do think I could and will read it again. Scorpius had loved and is loved. And that candle, yep, it's a symbol. The fic is around 5K and was written in 2012 in honor of the Newton, CT slaying of innocents.

Oh FFS how can The Price only have 46 comments and Flame 25 ?????? sorry, just got to me. This is a subject for a later blog. :)

Have a good weekend! Rom

#romaine2424 daily blog #June 2023

18 notes · View notes

anonofseasons · 7 months

Text

The reason the rest of Seasons went up is that I figured I'd better just do it before I lost all drive to share ever again and didn't at least complete Seasons for the remaining readers. It's the only thing I've written (outside of fandom) that has gotten much attention. It was nice, and I really appreciate that anyone would read it. But outside of that, I cannot get more than the tiniest handful of people to care about what I write, and it has been that way for years. It's discouraging, I'll be honest. My already-low confidence keeps taking beatings. I used to be more active with fandoms and posting fics, but one fandom/ship soured the experience for me. (Long story short, a lot of that ship's writers were bullied out by much more prominent writers. One of those popular writers mocked content from my fics in vaguetweets every time I posted, and I couldn't keep calling it a coincidence after a while.) I'd hear "you only write manbabies" (yeah more than once) and "you write too much of this" or be told my characterization wasn't realistic. But mostly? It just goes ignored. So I think, "I have to work harder and be better so people will be interested in reading it."

I don't know how other people manage to get word out about their writing. AO3 is great for sharing what I don't plan to publish/what can't be published, but what about what I do want published? I want to be a career author. And I struggle bc I'm dealing with problems that have a hand in worsening each other: financial struggles, living with my shitty parents, and bad health/disabilities. I need something in my life to work out for once. The pressure is on to be successful at something, but I just keep getting older and physically worse. My friend is willing to take me in when they find a place, we hope that's this year, but I can't live off of them, and I can't just sometimes cook and clean when I have spoons to make up for that. I need an income. I want writing to work out. But it just dies on my social media, with very few interactions, if any at all. I had a ton of stuff I wanted to finish for Seasons this month and into October to share with everyone in my excitement. But I'm losing my will to share anything. I only feel foolish when I try. Everything I do only proves my critics right, so it's embarrassing. Why even bother to try? It's been fourteen years of trying to get anything I write seen. I don't plan to stop writing btw, it's the sharing that's so difficult. I've been told countless times to write for myself when I express my despair, and guess what? That's good advice I've been taking this entire time! Who else could I be trying to please at this point? I have no one to please lmao, it's just me doing stuff I wanna do! The reaction to the ending of Seasons has me hesitant to give up on sharing, bc clearly lots of people connected to it in different ways, and that's wonderful. It makes me think sharing isn't so bad! But I just don't know if - at my age and health - if I can keep trying. I have two books I want to self-publish soon, and they feel like they'll just end up like everything else I post over at @mcalhenwrites - 6 notes and 5 of them are my reblogs! (And it's the same across all social media platforms - or it's even worse.) I'm really thankful that sharing Seasons gave me a taste of what it was like to connect with people through my writing, though. I don't think any of the people who commented or sent me asks realize how much it really helped me through this year, but it did. I started to have a little hope that maybe it wasn't a skill issue on my part, at least? ;A; And here's the thing: I don't really hate my writing all that much. I just fear it's got things wrong with it that I can't recognize, and that's what's putting potential readers off. I do believe my hard work shows, but hard work =/= good enough. My style is getting closer to the skill level I dreamed of having. I'm proud of my characters. But what's missing? I know that being a creator of any kind - even professional - is extremely tough, especially right now. I know this is a struggle for a lot of authors, artists, etc. :'( I just... I want to write as a career so I can keep doing more of it. I rarely have the spoons to keep up with anything. Writing is flexible. I love doing it! I just want to explain how I feel and what I'm dealing with, and why I'm so desperate. If you read this, know that it really helps creators to have our work recommended, boosted, etc. Authors matter as much as artists. I've been trying to train myself for the nth time to not be online and talk about my writing in any capacity. It hasn't worked before - I'm always too stupid to commit to giving up - but at what point in 14 years of complete failure with a side of humiliation does one just learn to give up? And to give some further insight into my thinking process: when I uploaded the remaining chapters, I put Seasons in my private collection (which holds 87 of my works out-of-bounds to anyone but me) so I could upload all the chapters without risking annoying my subscribers. Since 11 chapters in one night is a bit much, eh? :') Ugh, idk why tumblr won't let me edit anything or post long stuff. So I'm cutting this short I guess!

#this is a bit of a long post sorry

7 notes · View notes

moonlit-tulip · 10 months

Text

Tsukihime Remake Liveblog Archive, Part 2: Ciel Route

The newly-translated route! Which I finished last night. I had been thinking I'd wait a couple extra days before posting it, just in case I developed more to say, but on consideration… nah, I'm impatient, I'll just post it now. If I say additional things later I'll… I don't know, edit them onto the end and post a notice-of-something-having-been-added, or put them in a reblog, or something.

Below the cut: the Ciel-route segment of the liveblog, featuring spoilers for all of both the original Tsukihime and Tsukihime -A piece of blue glass moon-.

June 17, 2023

[4:14 PM] Knowing that everyone’s memories of Ciel are fake, it’s very funny going through the opening segments of her being widely known as The Perfect Senpai So Good That Even The Teachers Rely On Her. Like, sure, useful cover, but also, that sure is a reputation to have given herself! (And to then, in proper Perfect Senpai fashion, deny when it’s mentioned to her face.)

[6:36 PM] The “dreaming of a story that has already passed” scene at the start of the second day has me wondering, now, whether this remake is yet another of the ‘remake’-as-stealth-sequel setups that seem to be popular nowadays. I somewhat hope not—I find that pattern somewhat frustrating—but it is a possibility I should maybe keep in mind, given that scene.

[6:59 PM] …especially, it now occurs to me, in the context of Day 2 being called ‘Day that Wasn’t’. That’s a name whose significance-to-the-local-narrative I was never able to figure out, last year; the only meaning I could ever get out of it was the “this day wasn’t in the original, only in the remake” meaning, and while that’s definitely part of the meaning I’d assumed it was just one half of a double-meaning. But, if the remake is doing the stealth-sequel thing, that assumption suddenly seems much less well-founded; it could, easily, just be the reference-to-this-being-different-from-the-original that I first read it as.

[7:04 PM] In other news… so, last time, I talked about how the mansion feels less isolated in the remake than in the original, with Saiki Gouto and Arach showing up early on. This remains true. But the flip side of this, which I didn’t consciously register last time, is: while the mansion itself is less isolated, Shiki is more isolated within it. There’s much more emphasis on his status as the Ill-Fitting Outsider, with Saiki’s “your getting injured and disowned about it was an Unvirtuous Desertion Of Family Obligations” monologue and then with Akiha’s generally-more-emphasized-in-the-remake degree of Pointedly Overbearing Demandingness towards Shiki. So it’s actually more of a change to the mansion’s tone than I’d realized; minus one thing and plus another, rather than just the minus.

[10:13 PM] Day 3 complete! I am now Solidly On Ciel's Route, I think. Or at the very least I've made it past the point which (a) was the final point-of-no-return for onboarding to Ciel's route in the original and (b) is where I ran into Japanese text when I found my way onto it under the old Arcueid-route-only patch-version. The "Ciel talks Shiki down from suicide-via-exposure and gets him into a state of thinking and engaging with the world again" scene was very good, as it was in the original, although it's been long enough since I've read the original that I can't easily do detailed comparison of content beyond "very good", or of fine details of how very-good they were relative to one another. And I look forward to seeing how things diverge from here! I strongly suspect that one of the things the remake is going to change is the degree to which Arcueid and Ciel's routes overlap one another, since that was one of the more awkward structural elements of the original; but I'm not sure how much earlier to expect the divergence this time. The one Arcueid-route Bad End with the investigation-of-Vlov's-lair, where Ciel-sensei strongly hints that that it'll be safer to do that in Ciel's route, could be interpreted as meaning that it'll still re-merge at least for the initial adventures-with-Arcueid section—especially in combination with the game UI suggesting we're still in common-route territory, with Day 4 having the same name even after the big heartfelt moment with Ciel and with the save still not being marked with any particular route—but also could be compatible, potentially, with "things continue diverging and the investigation-of-Vlov's-lair happens in some other different context". I look forward to finding out!

[10:39 PM] Also, off in the realm of Parallels Which Were There All Along But Which I’m Only Now Managing To Catch: it Sure Does Hit A Way, seeing Ciel give Shiki the “don’t just sit there and drown in suicidal guilt about the murder-you-did-while-not-yourself, instead figure out how to atone” speech given the knowledge of her own position having (a) done way more of those than he did and (b) being pretty suicidal about it. Giving him the maximally-optimistic form of advice which she refuses to accept in that form from herself. :(

June 18, 2023

[1:10 PM] …so Shiki was explicitly noted, during the stalking-Arcueid sequence, to have hidden away his jacket before breaking into the apartment building. But then, the next morning, Ciel implies that she’s washed it. This suggests that either (a) he had the presence-of-mind to retrieve it on exit even while in full barely-coherent-despair-and-guilt mode or (b) Ciel managed to figure out where he’d left it. (More likely (a), since he presumably retained his jacket in the non-Ciel branch too? I don’t specifically remember it, but I assume I’d remember if his school uniform had been incomplete the next day.) Both of these branches are Interesting, from an “implying things-not-otherwise-shown about characters’ mental stated” standpoint!

[1:13 PM] …or never mind that parenthetical! Since apparently they’ve got spare jackets at the Tohno household.

[2:59 PM] …huh. So this time I noticed: Arcueid gave the “only one vampire ever took in more than one beast as a familiar, and he’s already gone” line that makes Nrvnqsr’s nonexistence in the remake-timeline clear and that left me-a-year-ago Confused by the two dogs accompanying Vlov in his attack on the hotel. But then, on the whiteboard behind her, she’s written “Usually 1-3 animals”. So… only Nrvnqsr has taken in more than one kind of beast but others have taken in e.g. more than one dog? Or they can take in a single dog but then release multiple copies? It’s a bit unclear, but does make me lean towards “there’s something hard-to-translate in the thing Arcueid says there” as a more likely hypothesis over the “Vlov’s two dogs are an Actual Mystery” reading I’d taken last time.

June 19, 2023

[3:01 PM] …huh, apparently Vlov’s gang got a girl from Shiki’s school some time before they got Shiki. I wonder if, in the remake, Satsuki got vampirified by Vlov rather than by Roa? Relevance-to-Satsuki’s-route could certainly explain the otherwise-mysterious thing where the remake inserted Vlov in place of Nrvnqsr, if for whatever reason Nrvnqsr’s personality and habits would be incompatible with the route’s happenings. (Although also plausibly it was just some other not-Satsuki girl; after all, we already have had very strong implications of at least one non-Satsuki victim of Vlov’s gang from Souya High, namely the teacher who Noel replaced.)

[3:27 PM] …ah, nope, at least the most recent one they were talking about is Not Satsuki.

[4:49 PM] Ciel with a gun! :o

[5:50 PM] It's interesting how much worse Shiki's mental state is in Ciel's route, compared with in Arcueid's. During Day 5 he had two internal monologues with "well, the only thing I'm good for is Doing Murder" as a core component, compared with zero similar ones that I recall in the Arcueid branch. Apparently the combination of "be less in denial about having killed Arcueid" plus "encounter the Deeply Unpleasant Environment of Vlov's basement" was Not Good For Him!

[5:52 PM] (Or possibly just the former? I haven't yet checked what happens if, at the apparent point-of-no-return of "set out to attack Vlov in his lair during the day", I instead choose the other option of waiting for night, whether that merges into Arcueid's route or whether it leads to some sort of death instead. If the latter, then perhaps it's just the being-less-in-denial part which leads to the worse mental state.)

[6:14 PM] Also: Vlov has a grudge against Roa, apparently! There won't be much more chance to explore it from Vlov's perspective this route, given the thing where he's now dead, but I'm curious if we're going to get anything on it from Roa's perspective, once he starts leaking more into Shiki.

[6:37 PM] (I say 'leaking more', as opposed to just 'leaking', because, while popular interpretation of Shiki's big moment of Suddenly Stalking And Murdering Arcueid In A Fashion Laden With Blatant Sexual Overtones seems to be that it's just a Nanaya-family-instincts thing, I myself have always taken that moment to be at least partially leakage of Roa's influence. For one thing because that is very much in-character as a direction for Roa's influence to point—he is far more obsessed with Arcueid than with anyone else, it makes sense for him to reach through more strongly to Shiki about her than about anyone else—and for another thing because, as I recall (it having, admittedly, been a while since I last read Tsukihime), Shiki-running-on-Nanaya-instincts usually doesn't have those sorts of sexual overtones around killing, whereas Shiki-influenced-by-Roa consistently does.)

June 20, 2023

[1:49 PM] Well! Things sure did just diverge much harder than expected, the night of Day 6! Roa dead already thanks to Arcueid not burning as much energy against Vlov, and Arcueid herself possibly lining up to take over as Chief Antagonist, even before realizing that Roa has moved into Shiki Specifically, just for Difficultly Keeping Her Bloodlust Under Control Post-Being-Murdered reasons??? We’ve still got so many days left! Well, then. I guess it’s time for Lots Of New Things to happen!

[1:55 PM] (Notably, this feels like a much more… Fate/stay night-shaped way for the route-structuring to go. Less routes-hugging-one-another-closely-until-towards-the-end like in the original Tsukihime, more “okay, you’ve done the previous route, you’ve had all the exposition on who these people are and what they can do, now time to Elaborate and Explore New Ground From That Baseline Of Knowledge”. I hadn’t been sure, before, whether the Arcueid-and-then-Ciel route order would be enforced in the remake—it wasn’t enforced in the original, just recommended, and I didn’t think to test “try to get on Ciel’s route” in the remake last year before finishing Arcueid’s route, partially for “already knew that recommendation” reasons and partially for “it was untranslated so there wouldn’t be much point” reasons—but I now strongly suspect that we’re doing FSN-style route-order-enforcement here, because I don’t think the exposition-structures at play here would work otherwise.)

[1:57 PM] (Once I’ve finished the route and don’t need to worry about spoilers, I should go look this up and see whether this prediction actually holds up. :p)

[9:59 PM] > "I never said that Vlov was my target, did I?" Actually you did! I missed it in my run of your own route, but with more context I managed to catch it on this pass! You said the burning Dead in the alleyway had been created by your target. You were mistaken about that, but it still sure was a thing you said!

[10:03 PM] …also apparently Arcueid is running the same “bring Shiki in to hunt down Roa” maneuver this route as last route despite Roa already being dead! This is Suspicious, and I don’t think it’s being driven by Ciel-style suspicion-he’s-in-Shiki, I think it’s relatively pure “she likes Shiki and wants an excuse to spend time with him (plus bonus Growing Bloodlust Problems which seem noticeably less under-control this route compared with the last).

[10:06 PM] …ah, no, she is being open about having already killed Roa and is just bringing Shiki in for subsequent cleanup, never mind.

[10:42 PM] Arcueid is being So Worrying here, wow.

[10:47 PM] (Her reaction to Shiki’s headache-spike in the park. Not the hostility I’d expect if she’d realized Roa was working on possessing him, but she sure did realize Something. (Or maybe it was the Roa thing, just with bonus “aha, he’s not really in control yet and this is an Exploitable Opportunity of some sort”?))

[10:50 PM] …also. Wait a minute. Vlov has a grudge against Roa. Vlov stated his intention in town as being revenge, and expressed disgust for the overall state of the town. Arcueid doesn’t know what brought Vlov to the town in the first place. Did Vlov come by for purposes of launching some sort of attack on Roa?

June 21, 2023

[4:28 PM] Oh wow Noel has So Many Issues. That interlude was great. And I spent the first half of it wondering if she’s always like this by default or if this was the lingering-influence-from-Vlov’s-bite that Ciel and Mario had been discussing as a possibility, but after that second half… yeah, definitely some lingering (and escalating) influence. (Parallel with Shiki and his slowly-accumulating Roa-derived issues!) Although that doesn’t actually, on consideration, preclude that sort of vampire-mass-murder-with-bonus-torture having been among her habits even pre-Vlov! Since she sure did imply having pulled similar stunts previously in Europe, albeit to less effect.

[4:30 PM] Also: something happened thirteen years ago, apparently! It got mentioned once earlier, and again now this time. Roa’s pre-Ciel incarnation, maybe? But, mostly, Not Enough Information, for now. Something to keep an eye on as things continue developing.

[4:49 PM] ...hmm. Timeline. So. 1989, start of the Ciel-and-Roa flashback. Age 12, presumably 2001, the point where Roa-derived intrusive thoughts started hitting her. Age ???, the point where hiding in her room broke down as a strategy and Roa grabbed more substantial influence. Main story takes place... I'm not sure it's been stated directly, but probably 2020ish. Which would line up, given Ciel's outwardly-visible age, with that particular round of Roa-causing-trouble actually being the thirteen-years-ago one? Except in that case I'm not sure what would have happened seven years ago to set SHIKI off; Ciel had a Moment Of Horrified Realization about whatever-it-was, in the restaurant, but apparently in the remake it's not as simple as "Roa jumping into SHIKI set him off ~instantaneously upon Roa's arrival" the way I recall it was in the original, and I lack alternative hypotheses.

[4:52 PM] And apparently Roa has Plans To Make Arcueid His, beyond just "keep fighting her forever because he doesn't know how to deconflate lust from hatred" as in the original. I'm not sure what plans those might be, but whatever they are, they seem Worrying probably!

June 22, 2023

[5:25 PM] I am now re-confused! Ciel was 13 years old when she became an Executor? That doesn’t line up at all with Roa getting to her 13 years ago! And there’s a tempting alternate theory of “1989 was when Roa got to her, not her birth-year”, but in that case we run into the problem of why it would be the 13-years-ago incident that Noel is particularly traumatized about, as opposed to the ~31-years-ago one. My best guess is that the 13-years-old thing was just a cover story? Second-best guess is that the 13-years-ago Roa was somehow so bad that he managed to traumatize Noel even harder than the Roa who destroyed her hometown ~31 years ago? But I’ve got decently large piles of probability-mass on “neither of these, something weirder (or at least harder-for-me-to-predict) is going on”.

[6:38 PM] ...and Day 9 complete! That was very good. And now Ciel has said her goodbye. Which... if I'm remembering the trajectory of the original right, at that point she disappeared from everyone but Shiki's memories at school, and only reappeared to save Shiki from Roa. Which means it's time for the derailedness to progress still farther! What will drive Ciel to return this time, given the lack of external Roa to threaten Shiki? My best guess is Noel doing... something? Deciding to try to kill Shiki on the off-chance he's Roa? But low confidence in that, for now.

June 23, 2023

[5:35 PM] Well! Arach finally interacting with plot-significant events in a more substantial way than just "exist next to them"! I... expect that the references to her having eight legs were metaphorical, Nasu doing his usual animal-metaphors thing, rather than her being Literally Spider-Shaped? Given the lack of spideriness on her sprite that scene. But as for her actions... well. She claims that her 'helping' Noel is just charity; I find that I don't particularly believe her about that. Nor do I think it's likely to be as trivial as just "finally get to do a clinical trial of her Vampire Juice". She's up to something bigger. The question is whether we're going to actually learn anything about what that thing is, this route; I'm expecting her to be mostly involved in far-side events, even if she's unexpectedly poked her head into the near side—she was tied up with Makihisa, and is a regular at the mansion, and both of those are points far-side-ward—and as such it wouldn't shock me if she were to mostly just Not Involve Herself Farther in things for now.

[5:36 PM] Plus bonus "turns out Noel wasn't turning into a Dead Apostle to begin with, prior to Arach's intervention" irony!

[5:41 PM] ...and, for all her talk about how it's better to die than to become a vampire, it's kind of striking how definitively Noel chooses to live even when this entails turning-into-a-vampire. When she gave that die-rather-than-being-a-vampire speech to Shiki, I'd assumed this was her projecting, that her plan was to kill Shiki-who-she-Gettiered-herself-into-'know'ing-was-possessed-by-Roa and then to kill herself before her transformation was done. But then not only did she not do that but she also deliberately avoided letting the church find out about her transformation-in-progress, thus ensuring that they wouldn't kill her and she would (on her world-model) become a vampire. (And thus, because Cruel Irony, losing her chance to discover that she was Not Actually Becoming A Vampire before Arach got her.)

[5:51 PM] Also: Yet More Timeline Confusion! Ciel has affirmed the 'joined the church at age twelve' story, and apparently has been an Executor for six years. Which doesn't fit any of my projected timelines! If Ciel snapped quicker-than-I-initially-thought under pressure from Roa, got fully possessed and destroyed her hometown and got killed and joined the church at age 12, became an Executor at age 13, and has been at it for six years, then... well, that does line up with SHIKI's incident seven years ago, but then in that case what's going on with 1989 and with 13-years-ago? (Which aren't the same year, because this version of Tsukihime is set in The Era Of Smartphones and that era started post-2002.) Let's see. Suppose Ciel was born 1989, Roa possessed her in 2001, and now it's 2008. That's... unlikely, unless smartphones reached fixation a few years earlier in Japan than in the US? But the first iPhone was only 2007, so I doubt it. Overall, I continue to not see any plausible timeline in which Noel-and-now-Ciel's claims around Ciel's age-at-which-she-got-tied-up-with-the-church line up.

[11:17 PM] ...am I wrong about when the present day is? Is it actually 2014, rather than 2020ish? If the present is 2014, then smartphones are plausibly already reasonably at-fixation in a way they wouldn't have been in 2008, and that lines up with the 13-years-ago number. But then that doesn't line up with her supposed 7-year timeline in the church, and so yet again I'm forced to conclude that that has to be some sort of lie unless there's something weird going on that I'm failing to consider.

June 24, 2023

[1:09 PM] !!! Satsuki is here at school on Day 11! Alive, to all appearances! I’d thought she was one of the unnamed-at-the-time missing students who got mentioned on Day 3, but apparently not!

[1:14 PM] …or, no, apparently she was out for a few days for reasons related to the serial killings, she’s just back now! I’m not sure what to make of that, but it’s definitely Interesting! Either she’s been vampirized but found some very-exceptionally-effective way of hiding it and avoiding sun-related problems and continuing to act like herself-as-she-was-pre-turning, or her run-in with the serial killer in this route somehow got derailed such that she didn’t end up vampirized by it! Interesting either way; I’m curious to see how her thread gets developed, when the far side comes around!

[2:43 PM] Huh, interesting that Shiki still pulls the “escape to the park” maneuver after The Incident With Kohaku, despite this involving running through a residential area a ways and despite the largeness of the Tohno mansion-grounds-forest! I suppose distance-from-the-targets-he’s-been-most-fixated-on was a higher priority for him, in his escape-panic, than more general distance-from-the-nearest-people. (Or perhaps the park is bigger than I’m envisioning it as being from the art, enough to beat out even the 40-acre-if-I’m-remembering-right Tohno forest. Or perhaps he’s thinking strategically enough to realize that he’s more likely to be successfully chased after in the Tohno forest than in the public park. There are lots of options, just all of those options Imply Things Not (Yet?) Stated Directly.)

[6:49 PM] Day 13 complete! Wow that was A Lot.

[6:53 PM] So, the timeline-mystery is now resolved, via a six-year gap in which it was in fact very reasonable to count her as not-aging, because she was dead throughout that time. (Placing us, then, in 2014.) Meaning that Ciel is actually substantially younger in the remake, 19 rather than ~25! And also meaning that she Just So Happened to wake up the same year that Roa got to SHIKI, which seems like very much Not A Coincidence, even if it's not quite as direct a connection as the original's "SHIKI inverted ~immediately upon Roa!Ciel's death" one. Something something world didn't consider Roa to be alive until he was back re-active something something, maybe, and thus didn't see the need to enforce aliveness on 'Roa'-who-was-actually-Ciel?

[6:56 PM] (I don't recall any explanation from the original, and am somewhat unclear in the remake too, regarding why it is that Ciel alone seems to have immortality-for-as-long-as-Roa-lives, from among his many castoffs over the centuries. Presumably the same bug-in-the-world with her soul being bound to his also applied to everyone else's? I suppose possibly there are, in fact, a bunch of other immortal Roa-castoffs running around, and they just lack the rest of Ciel's exceptional ability-set and as such aren't Doing Big Things with their immortality the way Ciel is. (After all, someone at the Church needed to have enough idea what was going on to give Ciel the authentication-error metaphor.))

[7:02 PM] The remake version of the Ciel-versus-Shiki showdown was, as the original was, Thoroughly Excellent. Even with my faded-at-this-point memories of the original, I feel reasonably confident this time in proclaiming that the remake version is at least comparable in quality, if not better. Because it successfully brought me near-to-crying, towards the end, and crying is a rare-and-prized thing for me which I would remember had I done it during the original Tsukihime; thus I infer that, while the original plausibly brought me near-to-crying too (the memory is fuzzy enough that I'm not confident it did, but it's at least plausible), it didn't bring me to Actual Crying, meaning plausibly-comparable quality but probably-not-substantially-higher quality.

[7:06 PM] (I am somewhat unclear on where Ciel's information-source is, as far as backtracing the Shiki-Adoption Switcheroo goes. Records-investigation could get her as far as learning of the existence of two Shikis, if the records were erased sloppily, but at the time when she found Roa's coffin she'd gotten that investigation done and inferred SHIKI, rather than Shiki, to have been the adopted one, and I'm not sure what additional records she could have found to make her realize that she had it backwards. But this is the sort of minor thing which will plausibly not be returned to; the details aren't hugely plot-essential, even if I happen to be idly curious about them.)

[7:08 PM] (And I don't think she was lying, at the coffin scene, about getting it backwards, because it wouldn't really have... helped? It wasn't like exactly which of the Shikis was which particularly factored into her cover-story for continuing to hang around him, or anything. I think she just... got additional information, somehow, afterwards?)

[7:24 PM] Then we had the Noel showdown. Which was... not nearly as intensely good as the Ciel showdown? But it was still interesting; it felt much less out-of-place than e.g. the Ciel-versus-random-monster-of-Roa's fight in the finale of Arcueid's route, much more like it was actually about the characters rather than just a new fight scene for its own sake. Overall, I like Noel a lot as a villain! I'm not sure where I'm ultimately going to fall on whether her finale taking the form it did was to the benefit or the detriment of the remake, relative to the original—it involved... a lot of Flashy Fighting With Less Emotional Baggage Than The Fight It Immediately Followed?, where I found Noel at her most interesting during the earlier sections of the route where she was less about the Direct Fair-Ish Combat (which she was, after all, not hugely good at) and more about the Preying Upon Those Weaker Than Her—but it was, at the very least, Interesting.

[7:29 PM] And, as a subcomponent of the Noel showdown, we got the big flashback to Roa!Ciel! Which was both effective-in-its-own-right, as an establishment-of-how-horrible-Roa-can-get and as a contextualization for Noel and why she's a mess in some of the specific ways that she is, and also interesting from a standpoint of there sure did seem to be some familiar figures there. There was the spidery one who was monologuing in a very recognizably Arach-like manner, and there was also, I'm pretty sure, Vlov's silhouette! Which, coupled with the mention of an unexpected sixth person showing up and throwing off Roa's plans, has me very much suspecting that this isn't the last we're going to see of this particular event, that it's going to be unveiled still farther either over the remaining day(-or-maybe-days-if-the-remake-adds-an-extra) or somewhere in the Far Side. (More likely the latter, for previously-mentioned "Arach seems Far Side-flavored" reasons.)

[7:32 PM] (And also: Vlov seemed to really hate Roa, during his fight with Shiki and Ciel, to the point of there being some implication that he'd come to town specifically in order to get some sort of revenge on him. Vlov's silhouette seemed, in Noel's flashback, to be not actively attacking. So what happened, to flip Vlov's opinions on Roa as hard into antagonism as they ultimately got flipped? This also points in the direction that probably Vlov will have more revealed about him in the Far Side, that he won't be relegated to Offscreen Irrelevance the way Nrvnqsr did in the original Far Side.)

[7:37 PM] And then Ciel made her very interesting comment, that since Shiki and Roa are merging into one Shiki would be able to remember anything Roa had done, and thus definitely hadn't killed anyone. Which leads to the question: where, then, did Shiki's two days of missing memories disappear to? He jumped straight from Friday to Sunday. At first I'd been leaning towards mostly Roa with some outside chance that it had been Ciel doing her memory-wiping thing repeatedly, but at this point if Ciel had done it she'd have admitted it, and apparently it can't have been Roa either. So who can it have been? It seems like not-Arcueid's-style, so I'm leaning towards not-her; and, while it seems like it might have served Mario's goals somehow (...not that I've got the best read on what his goals are, even now), it doesn't seem like it's within his capabilities, relative to my current model of them. So I'm not sure! One more Lingering Mystery for the collection.

[7:41 PM] One place where I find the remake to suffer a bit relative to the original, here: it loses the feeling of Repeated Finale-Fakeouts. In the original, Roa is killed, and this initially appears like, okay, the protagonists have won, now we've just got Happy Epilogue to go! And then he starts possessing Shiki. And then Shiki and Ciel have their big showdown, and at the end of it they're closer to one another than ever and have a plausible-sounding plan for his defeat, and this initially appears like, okay, the protagonists have won, now we've just got the Happy Epilogue to go! And then Roa is stronger-than-planned and takes Shiki outside and Arcueid is there waiting, and only then does the true finale happen. Whereas, here, Roa's death happens early enough to be very clearly a start-of-tension-building rather than a finale, and then the narrative pointedly brings back all its hooks of Future Antagonists after the Shiki-and-Ciel showdown rather than doing any sort of fakeout, with Noel showing up immediately and then with Arcueid getting her interlude-to-remind-everyone-that-she's-still-active before the Shiki-and-Ciel-in-Ciel's-apartment scene. And I liked the original's finale-fakeouts, so I feel a bit sad about their absence in the remake.

[7:49 PM] Also I was somewhat surprised at how non-awful Roa!Shiki's attack on Kohaku ended up being, in this version. Still bad, certainly—and presumably worse, in the Bad End branch I have yet to explore—but much less specifically hitting her right in the yet-to-be-revealed Deep Backstory Traumas, compared to how it went in the original. Which... probably wouldn't have been surprising to me if Arcueid's route were different, but since Arcueid's route did still keep the sexual elements of Shiki's attack on her in the alleyway the one night (albeit in toned-down form), I was kind of expecting something similar here? But instead the thing of Roa-instilled aggression taking on a specifically-sexual shape is mostly left very understated, mostly only visible (at least so far) in Shiki's somewhat-more-active flirtation in the days before things come to a head and in Flashback!Roa!Ciel's state of nudity. Which is interesting! I wonder what led Nasu to tone that down as far as he did in the rewrite, while still leaving the Arcueid-route bit relatively un-toned-down; in my mind, the two had seemed more of-a-kind with one another, more "probably either both go or neither goes"-shaped.

June 25, 2023

[11:22 AM] Well! Normal end get! Which is not the true end, because apparently the endings have been rearranged this time around! :o

[3:40 PM] ...and true end get! In unexpectedly-actionized form!

[3:46 PM] This is much more the sort of thing I was semi-expecting back in Arcueid's route, after the Vlov fight proved Unexpectedly Escalatory relative to anything in the original. But was nonetheless unexpected here, because after the way Arcueid's route was in fact not ever re-actionized to that degree of intensity post-Vlov I expected the same to hold of Ciel's route. But nope! Big Apocalyptic Setpiece-Battle Finale! Which it's going to take me a while to settle my feelings on, probably; but it does definitely drive me in the direction of more substantially internally differentiating the remake from the original, thinking of it more as a different story which happens to contain many overlapping components from the original, rather than as the-original-but-with-extra-budget. (Much moreso than e.g. Noel did; Noel felt like she was still basically running on standard Tsukihime-ish narrative stakes and standard-for-the-remake-ish power scales, being an extra wrinkle in the plot and character arcs but being mostly tonally in-line with the original; whereas the Big Arcueid Fight was very dramatically outside of the tone-space covered at any point in the original.)

[3:48 PM] (I remain confused about what That One Monster Of Roa's was doing, in the finale. Like, it felt like much less of a tonal/pacing hiccup this time around, a much briefer fight which did some work in showing Ciel's mental state in a route where her mental state is a core focus in a way it wasn't nearly as much in Arcueid's route; but it's still weird, from an "I don't understand why Nasu included it at all" standpoint. Given its spideriness, maybe it's going to be related somehow to whatever-is-going-on-with-Arach, once the far side comes around, and so it's here for purposes of Early Foreshadowing?)

[4:05 PM] ...I feel like Nasu's action-scene-writing has grown increasingly extravagant over time in a not-unambiguously-positive way. Like, the original Tsukihime's action scenes were generally pretty lightweight; Fate/stay night's were a lot more intense, but were still mostly pretty grounded scale-wise, even despite all the overpowered abilities being thrown around; but then Mahoyo had [rot13 for Mahoyo spoilers]gur ovt nzhfrzrag-cnex frdhrapr[/rot13] which dwarfed even the biggest Fate/stay night fights scale-wise, and the Tsukihime remake escalated still farther from there, with both Vlov and Arcueid escalating to attacks which straight-up would have destroyed the whole city had they not been stopped. And, like, the scenes are cool? But I feel like they're also... tipping increasingly in the direction of feeling out-of-place relative to their surrounding works, over time, tonally, in some way that's hard to articulate. Or... no, not quite that. Shaping the tone of their surrounding works, let's say. It's very hard to hold onto an original-Tsukihime-ish relatively-small-scale-storytelling mood amid a Big Fight Scene Where The City Is At Risk Of Being Casually Squished As A Side-Casualty; that those sorts of big fights happen anyway is one of the key elements tonally differentiating the remake from the original. And that's fine as long as one is aiming to write stories with the sort of tone that those fight scenes bring about; but it seems like a... loss of versatility? It reduces his ability to do other sorts of tone. I'm not sure that the modern-day Nasu would be capable of writing the sorts of relatively-smaller-scale stories that he started his career with, with Kara no Kyoukai and with the original Tsukihime, and that seems kind of sad, because I liked those stories. And, like, I like his more recent stuff too! But there's still something sad in the feeling that he couldn't go back to doing things-like-the-older-stuff even if he tried.

[4:11 PM] Anyway! Big Action Setpiece. Cool novel way of killing off Roa, which I found very elegant. And then a nice epilogue, mostly pretty similar to the original Ciel true-end epilogue as far as I'm managing to recall it. (...although it felt a bit more repetitive after the normal-end epilogue, here, since they covered a lot of the same ground as one another.) I didn't find the epilogue this time around to be as emotionally-impactful as I recall having found the Arcueid true-end epilogue—the big moments of emotional impact this route were mostly earlier, the various Big Moments Of Catharsis between Shiki and Ciel and between Shiki and Arcueid—but it still closed things off well enough in its own right, and was generally enjoyable.

[4:12 PM] ...and now all that's left is branch-exploration! And then the final accounting of my thoughts and of whatever lingering mysteries-from-this-route have yet to be resolved.

[4:17 PM] (Also I don't 100% understand the divergence between the normal-end branch and the true-end branch. Or, like, I get that Shiki trying harder to let Arcueid down gently in the true-end branch leads her to have more brainpower to spare on continuing to think while being All-Consumingly Mad At Him, thus leading her to invoke Serious Large-Scale Reality-Warping against him rather than simpler-and-more-direct "regenerate and then apply Large Quantities Of Violence"-shaped actions like she uses in the normal-end branch; but I don't get the divergence on Ciel's end, why normal-end!Ciel has the Seventh Scripture but true-end!Ciel delays getting it and instead rushes to grab Shiki first. It seems like they diverge even before the reality-warping comes out, based on some other factor I have yet to discern?)

[10:51 PM] 100% completion done! At least to the best of my ability to discern via lack of non-viewed flowchart-entries, via lack of non-unlocked music-player tracks, and in general based on gallery-completion. 44 hours logged total for Ciel's-route-counting-branch-exploration, apparently. I'd be curious to see how that compares with my time on Arcueid's route, but unfortunately I didn't have game-time-logging set up for my Switch emulator last year the way I do now, so I suppose that will remain forever a mystery.

[11:02 PM] Thoughts from branch-exploration: - The "Shiki-under-Roa's-influence kills everyone in the mansion" bad-end-branch was High-Quality Horror. Very effective slow unveiling. Also I am very curious what Kohaku was thinking, in that one, with her continuing to pretend everything was normal even after both Akiha and Hisui were dead. I mean, presumably she was thinking "it would be undollish to have feelings about this, so I'm going to Not"; but it's still somewhat surprising to me that she was so blase about Hisui's death specifically, as opposed to e.g. adding Shiki more unambiguously to her revenge-target-pile and then being more cautious around him. I suppose possibly she intended to lace his food with Interesting Substances next time she fed him, and was foiled only by his un-accounted-for change of diet, or something? - Meanwhile, in the branch where everything isn't quite as terrible, we've got a very interesting interaction between Kohaku and Hisui around carrying Shiki up to his room, wherein Kohaku asks Hisui to do it (despite knowing about Hisui's issues around physical-contact-with-men), Hisui objects, and then Kohaku proceeds to formally give Hisui permission to make an exception to her usual patterns, after which Hisui does it without further objection (albeit while still pretty clearly feeling uncomfortable about it.) This is interesting. This is a wrinkle in the Kohaku-Hisui dynamic that I don't recall seeing in the original; in the original, as I recall, Hisui's issue-pile is more purely her own, influenced by her knowledge of Kohaku's history but never indicated as far as I recall to be a product of any sort of, like, explicit understanding between the two of them, as opposed to just Hisui reacting in her own way to the knowledge of what Kohaku went through for her sake. But apparently there's more to it, in the remake! - ...and then we had the Big Moment in the other side of red garden trailer, with Satsuki. The trailer as a whole was Very Pretty, but also more specifically I am so interested to see what's going on with the Satsuki route, and that single few-second patch of trailer is probably the biggest indicator I've seen to date of its likely shape.

[11:17 PM] Lingering mysteries: - Whence the missing memories? I would think Roa even more, now, after the everyone-in-the-mansion-dies branch, except once again that contradicts Ciel's statement that, if one does a thing under Roa's influence, one will remember that. And, indeed, even when Shiki is temporarily forgetting / not turning his mind towards Roa's activities, as in the scene with Mario and Shiki's lack of thinking-about-it-afterwards, it's pretty consistently the case that those moments are still followed by the eye of the narrative, indicating at least some degree of theoretical accessibility-to-Shiki probably. Whereas for the two missing days there's just nothing. So I'm not sure what's going on there. - Speaking of which: Mario! What's his deal? After this route we've got probably-close-to-everything-we're-going-to-get on Noel—she seemed like she had a pretty complete arc, here, and while I expect her to still feature in the far side I don't specifically expect her to be a big player in it—and I've updated towards Mario's two less-in-focus minions (Karius and the other one) being probably Actually Genuinely Unimportant Side Characters, but Mario himself has taken a big step up in Mysteriousness, similarly to Arach albeit less immediately plot-affectingly. It sure does seem like there's some sort of hivemind or body-transference or something along those lines going on, in the Laurentis family, and apparently they-via-Mario are looking for the secrets of immortality, but we've got very little in the way of detail, so far. Little enough that I find myself wondering if we're going to get more church-focus in The Other Side of Red Garden than we did in the original Far Side, to go more into this. - What's up with the variable stopping power of Shiki's eyes? The story specifically makes a point of noting that even just tracing a line, on one of Vlov's dogs, is enough to stop it in its tracks and render it sufficiently definitively Dead that it can't even take purely-reflexive final actions like Bite Down Harder On Shiki; and yet, in the Roa!Shiki-and-Ciel-kill-each-other ending, Ciel manages to remain functional enough to stab through Roa!Shiki even after he stabs a point on her, which naively I'd expect to have even more stopping power than tracing a line. (And I half-recall that Roa similarly managed Action In His Final Moments in Arcueid's route, even if it's been long enough that I no longer remember the precise details.) Something something Lifescale something something, higher Lifescale leads to increased ability to continue acting after getting got with Mystic Eyes of Death Perception? (This would also line up with Arcueid being able to straight-up keep on fighting him, when he slashes her lines in the normal-end branch, only being somewhat slowed down rather than anything more serious.) - ...plus everything already discussed earlier, Vlov's feelings towards Roa and Arach's deal and so forth.

[11:18 PM] ...oh, also, the bit in the Black Key exposition-branch where Ciel starts out trying to replace all references to magecraft with prayer only to give up midway through was Very Funny. One of my favorite comedic moments in the whole VN, I think.

[11:20 PM] And that's everything, I think! It's been fun. I look forward to The Other Side of Red Garden coming out, whenever it does that.

[11:23 PM] (It sounds, from Ciel-sensei's lesson with the Other Side of Red Garden trailer, like plausibly it'll be less action-y; it was described there as being more mystery-shaped instead. I'm curious to see whether that means the Fights With Apocalyptically Powerful Abilities Being Thrown Around Endangering Everyone are less present in the far side than in the near side; my current guess is no, that we'll see similar sorts of stakes-escalation around e.g. the big Akiha fight, plausibly whatever is going on with Arach, et cetera, because as mentioned earlier I'm not convinced Nasu is really capable any more of not doing that sort of thing.)

[11:30 PM] ...also I wonder if Satsuki's route is going to end up being sort of a bridge between the near side and the far side. Because we keep getting all these hints of far-side-content hooking back in with Roa's schemes, with the person-who-sounded-like-Arach in Noel's flashback (and, for that matter, more generally with the nature of whatever Roa was trying to do against Arcueid in that incarnation being repeatedly teased-but-not-revealed), and with whatever is going on between Roa and Vlov that hasn't been discussed much yet, and so forth; and, in the Other Side of Red Garden trailer, Satsuki was the one character to be shown against the backdrop of the broader city rather than specifically of the Tohno mansion; and, of course, Satsuki herself has a connection with Roa, on account of his being the one who turns her. So... possibly that route is going to be some sort of grand-finale blend-of-the-two-halves'-respective-tones-and-casts, or something? And if the remake were following original-Tsukihime-tone then I'd expect not-that, because the near-side/far-side split in the original is pretty sharp and never really gets blended like that; but the remake has at this point established itself as fully willing to handle tonal things differently, compared with the original, so I'm less confident in that and as such this seems a lot more plausible.

[11:34 PM] ...oh, also another lingering mystery I forgot to list earlier: what's up with Satsuki's apparent survival, in Ciel's route? Being attacked and then making it through well enough to be able to attend school in daylight, which is even more mysterious than if she'd just been butterflied into not-being-attacked. I have very little idea, right now, what to make of that, but it's definitely Interesting and something to keep an eye on.

#Archive #Tsukihime #Tsukihime Remake Liveblog Archive

9 notes · View notes

danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 9 months

Note

So how are you gonna start the next arc like this?

//I knew I was going to get upset about it when the change was implemented, and as you can see by my toxic af messages previously, I was right.

//I've taken some time to think about it since then, and I need to just make a couple of statements.

//The ask box will remain open, but this will probably be the last you hear of me for a while until the day I announced I would start posting the next chapter of the story.

//As for what's going on, in the face of this new editor with it's 30 image limit completely fucking over my typical style and sequence of posts (for asks it's not a big deal, but for story posts and especially long answers, it's a problem to my entire setup, and as you can imagine, I am not ok with that) I have taken some time to come up with a plan going forward.

//First and foremost, I'm not going to stop writing just because the designers of this website lost 90 braincells as well as the nerves in their eyes and ears. As stupid as these changes are, I'm fully aware that there's nothing I can do about them, and I'm not going to stop this blog's progression, or stop answering asks just because of these difficulties.

//In the past, when these changes happened, I overreacted and complained like a child. I apologize for those instances, and I've worked towards bettering myself. That doesn't mean I can't still take issues with these changes, because they are stupid, but don't let my misdirections as a human being affect your enjoyment of my writing. I will keep this blog going.

//Right now, I have come to a few solutions. Initially, I said I would move the story posts at least, to a different website. However, I retract that statement, because doing so would require my readers to sign up and create new accounts on totally different websites that they might not use for anything else.

//The CURRENT plan is that there are a variety of mods available on the internet that allows you to use the old Tumblr editor. If I can find one that bypasses the limit, I'll be golden.

//Failing that, as much as it sucks to think about, my only remaining option is to suck it up and use the new editor. As for the image limit, it may result in me having to split the story up into multiple different posts a day to get the full chapter done.

//The reason why I wished to avoid it is because with Tumblr's horrible navigation system, made WORSE by the current changes, is that it'll be hard to order all the posts together. I could repost my own posts to continue, but that also clutters the blog with meaningless posts, so I'm hoping to avoid it. Plus, it's only a matter of time before reblogs get hit with the "SHIT CHANGE" laser, so it's not a long-lasting solution.

//To make it a bit easier, if I do resort to this, I will be posting the link to the next part of each chapter in links at the bottom of each post. I will also be adding a #story tag on these posts to make them easier to find. I should have incorporated this a long time ago, but my slow dumb ass didn't think it was necessary.

//With all that said, if anyone has links to any useful mods, or any alternative solutions I could use, I am more than open to suggestions. So if you could leave those in either DM's or in the ask box, I would appreciate it. Assuming they work, you would LITERALLY be saving my life.

//And potentially the lives of other blogs like this one who are suffering because of this bullshit. I'll definitely be sure to share your advice to whoever may need it, like Aliza or Bubbles.

//Ultimately, there's no great solution to this, but this is the unfortunate position that Tumblr has put us in. And as much as I hate it, all I can do is take my licks and keep going.

//I want to take this moment to thank you guys for being such a supportive and kind audience. People like you are a dime a dozen, and I hope to continue to get your support for the foreseeable future.

//This story isn't finished yet.

-Mod

#mod #important notice #tumblr

7 notes · View notes

goshdangronpa · 6 months

Text

So, I intend to take a break on "I DISAGREE: An Ibuki Mioda SDR2 Protag Swap AU" after all. I've got a few fanfics that've been simmering on the back burner way too long, and I'll return to this project for Chapter 2 once I finish a few of them. Thanks so much to everyone who's read, liked, reblogged, and even reached out to me about any of these posts!

While I'm here, though ... I might as well, wrap up Chapter 1 with a few stray notes. It's nothing huge, I think - just the kind of stuff I thought about but couldn't find space for as the posts unexpectedly became more story-heavy. Before I move "I DISAGREE" to the backburner, please enjoy this grab bag of tidbits.

Bonus Track: A Few Last Notes on Chapter 1

Where to start. Where to start ...

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, Team Player

One major appeal to me in writing this AU is shaking up character arcs and dynamics. When I decided that Peko Pekoyama would come down with Despair Disease, I knew I'd have to do something different with Fuyuhiko. His love for Peko (romantic or filial or whatever you want to say) would not let him sit around in a cottage while her health is at serious risk. That's why just one day after stating that he had it in him to kill one of his classmates, he finds himself volunteering to nurse some of them!

Well, his focus in the makeshift hospital quarters of the Hotel Mirai is definitely on a specific patient. Fuyuhiko starts SDR2 as a selfish loner. Even this shake-up didn't seem like enough to make him open up with the rest. Ibuki dragging him into hanging out with her and the others that first night would help. However, it's having Hajime Hinata on his tail that truly turns him into part of the gang. We know how tight the boys get in SDR2, their bond developing over the course of three weeks. With them being in such close quarters from dawn to dusk, and especially with Fuyuhiko already so vulnerable while Peko's out of commission, I imagined it would develop faster.

To be clear, Fuyuhiko doesn't pull a full 180 by the end of Chapter 1! Though I wrote that he and Peko attend Ibuki's cottage party, I think he wouldn't stay for long. He trusts Peko with his life, he's pretty fond of Hajime, and Ibuki and Byakuya are on his good side. The rest remain strangers to him. While he's more open about knowing those strangers now, the stakes of their situation are never far from his mind. Expect him to grapple with questions of trust down the line.

Peko Pekoyama and Despair Disease

Nagito's side effects from Despair Disease, you already know from the game. (The repeat is partly to prevent him from igniting the killing game like in SDR2, and partly for reasons I'll explain in good time.) Chiaki and Kazuichi's side effects, you already saw in great detail with their relevance to the murder and trial. What I didn't describe in much detail are Peko's side effects. All I really said was:

"... She’s too laidback and apathetic to care about anything." (The AU Narrative's Chaotic First Three Mornings)

"Peko’s operating on sheer inertia, refusing to exert herself for anything that doesn’t interest her." (The Killing Game's First Victim)

Two sentences!

So the idea here was that Peko is a deadly serious person who prioritizes duty above all else, including her own well-being and life. I'm not just talking about the whole "I'm a tool, not a person" stuff from her trial. Even when she does fun things like slice up coconuts for new friends, there's still a severity in her manner. She immediately peaces out of a party to sit in an office by herself as a line of defense. No wonder animals fear her - she walks through life with an unflinching tension in her entire being.

That's why I imagined that the opposite of herself would be someone who doesn't do anything, even move from her spot, unless she feels like it. Lazy Peko - a chilling thought! Not exactly Depressed Peko, perhaps, though she wouldn't smile more than usual because that act in itself requires flexing muscles. Apathetic Peko, who takes nothing seriously and abandons all her discipline and duties ... including caring for Fuyuhiko. Which is why he must watch over her.

One more thing: ever notice that Peko is pretty easily embarrassed? She can't keep a poker face when Teruteru nails her choice of undergarment, and she nearly loses her cool when she confesses to bathroom incapacitation during the blackout in Chapter 1. You can just imagine her face crinkling behind that Shining Justice mask (though her performance is so committed!). It's the tragic fate of many a person who takes themself very seriously. Picture a scene where Peko settles into a decidedly unladylike position in her hospital room, with Ibuki exclaiming that Teruteru was dead-on.

Teruteru Hanamura's Still Around

It's funny: when I first decided to write fanfics about SDR2, I really thought I'd never so much as mention Teruteru. He's creepy, he's a pervert, he has no redeeming qualities ... yet I discovered that even he has a place in the Jabberwock Island ecosystem. Three of my four currently published fanfics include him, and one even sees him in a starring antagonist role. What can I say? In all three instances, he fit the bill.

By virtue of my "different killers, different victims" promise, Teruteru couldn't die in Chapter 1 of my AU. Killing off a fan favorite like Chiaki while keeping him around seemed unthinkable, which made it all the more fun to do. But if he's staying for the time being, he'll earn his keep. I just have to give him something interesting to do ... but splitting the party with Chapter 1's motive also means we barely get to know him in that time! What's a writer to do?

I suppose that when I start Chapter 2, I'll have to catch up Ibuki, and us by extension, on what happened in the cottages while she was at the hotel. Rest assured, though, that I have ideas for Teruteru. In his brief time onscreen in SDR2, we do get glimpses of depth to him beyond remarking on girls' panties. I'll try to bring out those depths. I'll also definitely tone down the creepiness, though I should say that making him a total eunuch just wouldn't be true to his character.

Well, that's just about all I can think of for this bonus bit. If there's anything you want to know more about, you can send me an ask, leave a comment, write it as a tag in a reblog, tie a letter to a carrier pigeon, whatever. I'll see if I have an answer for you! Be warned, though, that the answer might just be, "Wait until the next chapter." Until next time, take care and thank you again.

PREV: Ending Chapter 1 with a Sleepover

NEXT: Coming eventually!

#I DISAGREE: An Ibuki Mioda SDR2 Protag Swap AU #danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #sdr2 #goodbye despair #ibuki mioda #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #peko pekoyama #teruteru hanamura #no first drafts just vibes #I didn't even plan to do this but it seemed fun #might do one for every chapter!

3 notes · View notes

commander-quack-to-the-bridge · 1 year

Text

I posted 184 times in 2022

That's 184 more posts than 2021!

46 posts created (25%)

138 posts reblogged (75%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@crystal-mouse

@reffitt-blog1

@your-name-is-jim

@frogayyyy

@sleepingisgoodforthesoul

I tagged 148 of my posts in 2022

Only 20% of my posts had no tags

#star trek - 102 posts

#spock - 97 posts

#jim kirk - 57 posts

#starfeed - 51 posts

#star trek aos - 41 posts

#star trek tos - 32 posts

#bones mccoy - 32 posts

#leonard mccoy - 25 posts

#aos spock - 24 posts

#the original series - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#i know i've watched a couple episodes of tos now and i am actually wondering what the hell that was even supposed to be

My Top Posts in 2022:

Another iconic Beyond moment.

The fact that they are talking about Bones without having to name him. They just know each other well enough. They know him.

The fact that Spock is like, fuck it I spent the last several hours (days???) with him. His presence isn't so bad. I can handle it a bit longer. I already thought we were going to die together once. I can do it again.

Kirk being like, here we go again. Another southern gentlemanly rant about how he's a doctor not something else. These two idiots better know how much I love them because I am so fucking tired.

Bones screaming inside and trying to be marginally calm on the surface. You know he is cussing Spock and Jim up one side and down the other. You know it. We almost got to see it.

238 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

omfggggggg

not the way Kirk says, "Spock, it seems only fair to warn you that I have absolutely no intention of obeying Admiral Diegaro's order to abandon an entire planet of innocent beings to horrible deaths. Since this makes me unequivocally guilty of insubordination, I'll understand if you need to relieve me of command and put me in the brig."

And Spock responding with an arched eyebrow, "And who will put me in the brig with you?"

Excerpted from More Beautiful Than Death by David Mack

256 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

silly little headcanon time

since we get to see Spock basically quote Sherlock Holmes, it is now my belief that he's read the books.

Sherlock was Spock's first crush. He found his logic and demeanor interesting and flattering, appreciated the way he never had time for people that weren't willing to listen to him and/or some sort of asset to him. Appreciated that Sherlock plays violin, especially when he needs time to just sit and ponder some big mystery. Found his chemical dependency illogical but could over look it because he was amazing to read about. There wasn't anything Sherlock couldn't achieve with his logic and higher level of thinking. And then Spock grew a bit older and realized that wasn't a crush at all, it was more along the lines of representation. He related to Sherlock, he wasn't crushing on the man. With that knowledge he decided to spend his spare time rereading his mother's old books.

Only on his reread the only character he could seem to pay attention to was Dr. John Watson. The way he acted without thinking, how angry he would get with Sherlock for being so apathetic towards everyone and everything that wasn't the case he was actively involved with. The way Watson seemed to balance out the parts of Sherlock that were disliked by the vast majority of characters in the story. The head strong soldier who was willing to risk it all to help someone in need. He found his infatuation with John Watson fascinating. Eventually he finishes his reread of the old stories and gets caught up in growing up.

He recalls Sherlock Holmes from time to time, typically in passing, often when he looks at a fellow Starfleet officer and says, "Once you eliminate the impossible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

And then he meets the hard headed, fiery, strong willed cadet who already - in his first two weeks in the academy - made a reputation for himself being quick to act, James Tiberius Kirk.

289 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

When the events of Star Trek 2009 take place Chekov is 17.

He is seventeen when he witnesses the death of almost six billion people.

Seventeen when he saves Sulu and Kirk from slamming to their deaths but minutes later loses Amanda as the surface of Vulcan gives way & he is unable to lock onto her signal. He's a child, the death of someone else's mother is on his hands.

Chekov watched as a few elders and Spock appeared in the transporter, saw the look of devastation on his face as Spock realized his mother was now gone. They returned to the bridge and watched as a planet died, knowing there was nothing to be done about it.

Chekov's calculations were correct and it must have been the worst feeling in the universe. He had to hope - even if it was just in the back of his head - that he was wrong. He had most likely never wished for anything more in his young life.

All of this... only to then be present when Kirk forced Spock into showing that he was emotionally compromised. Hearing Kirk goad Spock with, "It must not even compute for you. You never loved her!" only to see someone he most likely admires lose his mind. No one on the bridge, except his father, could have imagined Spock in such a state.

You can't convince me that Chekov didn't internalize that. He had to have been feeling poorly as it was - to run through the halls shouting, "I can do that I can do that!" and save two men only to lose someone a few moments later in a similar situation. I know I'm repeating myself here but I remember being 17 and internalizing all kinds of things.

The one break Chekov probably had was taken from him when Spock snapped. To see Spock react logically must have been a level of comfort, even if on some level Chekov knew it was probably a lie.

And then to be the one that came up with the plan to hide the entirety of the Enterprise??? To go through all of that and still be mentally present is a kind of strength that is unimaginable for me.

I like to think that after the events of that day McCoy is making his rounds, checking in on everyone. When he gets to Chekov the kid smiles and says, "Everything is fine with me, sir."

McCoy gives him a look before responding, "Ever eager, huh? You didn't even let me ask my question."

"What question is that?"

"How are you?"

Three simple words. And Chekov's illusion he built for himself shatters.

Seeing Vulcan destroyed was bad enough. But he hasn't been able to sleep without seeing Amanda disappear from the screen, seeing Spock hit Kirk over and over with displaced rage, hearing Spock's voice shake as he says, "Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty. I here by relinquish my command based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log.", or waking up scared that Spock will blame him, because why wouldn't he?

303 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Can we just... Look at this.

The look Spock gives him 🙃 he knows in that moment he can't leave Jim, despite what logic might say is best for New Vulcan.

457 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

5 notes · View notes

ravixen · 2 years

Note

Heeeeyyy I've been binge reading your posts here and am wondering if it's okay to bring back your youtuber au with Seokmin? I genuinely enjoyed your youtuber au, all of them! Also can I be anon 🌵? Thank you in advance.

youtuber!seokmin

➔ au!ramble || requested || youtuber!au

➔ 819 words ➔ notes: fluff ; yeah, sure, i'll add you to the anon list! and i never got to finish the youtuber aus, so i'm down to write more. i have a soft spot for them, and this one was super fun to do, even if the ending was hard. if you liked, pls reblog :3c

while i briefly mentioned him in this reaction here, it's a little hard to say exactly what his youtube niche would be

i think his channel would be based on dares and challenges, but ones that are wholesome and (for the most part) don't bother other people

when his channel was starting up, you were the one giving him the challenges. seokmin, i dare you to jump into the ocean with all your clothes on this and seokmin, i challenge you to volunteer for a week at an animal shelter that. you give him these little missions on cue cards or a phone call like he's on a tv show

now that he's more popular, his viewers leave plenty of video content ideas in his comments, so you've all but disappeared from his channel

you tried to fade away without fanfare. people made comments about your voice appearing less and less in his weekly videos, sure, but when a month passes without your participation, people start demanding your return

you never released your name or face, so his fans call you 'angel,' considering you seokmin's guardian angel for all the things you bust him out of

(one time, he was dared to go to a nice foreign restaurant for lunch, but it was so overwhelming that he used his chance card and called you for help)

he never formally addresses these comments, and that drives his viewers insane

especially when he sometimes goes, "oh, my friend would've loved to see this," and gets a fond look that everyone goes '!!!' over

and this friend is definitely not part of the group he calls the boys because he calls all twelve of them by name, but not you. you're an enigma, which only plays into the mystical image his fans have built of you

for one of his follower milestone celebrations, he decides to go live. he's a friendly and open guy, but he's very private about his personal affairs. that's why the only way fans can talk to him is through his youtube; the rest of his social media is locked and reserved for friends and family only

which, honestly, is probably why your identity remains secret for so long

but during this live, between questions about how he edits his videos and whether youtuber!jeonghan's long hair was real, people ask about you

good thing he's streaming from his ipad, right? he pulls out his phone with a grin

"let's see what they're doing," he says, eyebrows raising at how fast the comments are coming in now. he dials your number and puts it on speaker. you pick up right before it goes to voicemail. "hey, it's me. whatcha up to, angel?"

and the way he says it is so heckin' S O F T. the fans know that they're the ones who gave you that title, so why does the pet name sound so natural coming from his lips???

you, on the other hand, are less energetic. you groan, and there's shuffling before your voice comes through clearer. "i was asleep. had a long day today." you yawn. "did you need something?"

his eyes soften, and it's like the camera isn't even there anymore. "sorry i woke you up. i'm just on live right now and everyone's asking for you. can you say hi to the viewers for me?"

"hi there, everyone! it's me, seokmin's friend. thanks so much for supporting him!! i hope you continue to give him and his channel love <3"

"as much as we'd love to keep them on the line, we should let them get back to their nap." he tells his viewers. he takes the phone off speaker and holds it to his ear, voice as gentle as his gaze. "sleep well, okay? you wanna meet up the next time you're free? alright, message me your schedule when you get it. g'night, y/n — ah, i mean—"

his eyes dart to the screen, hoping that no one caught that, but judging by the way his comments explode ... no chance

there's two types of people after that livestream ends

one: the kind that waits patiently for the two of you to get together, knowing that seokmin was way too fond of you for your relationship to be purely platonic, especially with how he flushes at some of the responses. maybe this was why he never held a livestream before. he's bad at lying and can't compose himself, and without the magic of post-editing, he can't hide his reaction to your name

two: the kind who spams your new ship name

regardless of whichever camp people are in, there's no doubt that you and seokmin are inevitable. i suppose that's why when he eventually posts a video of someone daring him to ask you out, a request he's gotten for a long time but never had the courage for, no one's surprised

UPDATE: NOW WITH ART!!

#caratwritersclub #caratsnetwork #thesvttown #a&mlibrary #seventeen scenarios #seokmin scenarios #dk scenarios #g: svt #m: seokmin #t: auramble #s: request #ravixen #youtuberau #🌵 anon

94 notes · View notes

bxbblegumprincex · 3 years

Text

1-800-Cum-For-Me

Part 1 | Kenma x Fem!Reader

i would write a gn!reader but i suck. also this one's dedicated to my friend who needed help sexting, amen. reblog to help a gurl out or whatuva

if someone told you you’d be a content creator on OnlyFans a month ago, you would’ve laughed at them. there was no way that was going to happen. you were a student at a reputable university, with a solid GPA. professors loved you, and classmates often came to you for help. you were a model student, there was no reason for you to get an OnlyFans.

yet, you were curious. and curiosity led you here.

you didn’t know what compelled you to actually press post. you blamed it on your now ex, who decided to body-shame you when you sent him a nude that he asked for. rage brew in your chest and right after you cussed him out for it, you had pressed post.

if you’re being honest, you didn’t expect your post to gain that much traction in just a few hours. you didn’t expect that just a month later, you’d have 100k followers. you didn’t expect you’d be celebrating by auctioning a phone call, but here you are.

of course you have to get comfortable. you begin by setting up your laptop and camera. placing them in just the right angle so that it catches your reflection off the mirror behind you, but the equipment stays hidden. you put on a lace masquerade mask. then, you press ‘stream’.

“hi,” you purr, “are you guys ready for tonight’s event?”

there must be just a few hundred viewers, but the comments are flooding. but one particular user stands out: KennyBoi5. it’s such a dumb name, but he was your first follower. he clearly has money, with the way he keeps dropping hundreds into your PayPal everytime you upload something. sometimes, he even transfers money out of nowhere.

"well, ladies and gents," you say, picking up your wand, "let the bids begin."

as soon as you pressed the wand to your clit, you moan. your eyes flicker to your laptop where several people have started to bid already. you wait for KennyBoi5 to place a bid but he's nowhere to be seen.

you push your disappointment to the side and start fingering yourself. you get to two fingers when KennyBoi5 makes an appearance.

$450, just a little higher than the last highest. you pout.

on the other side of the screen, Kenma is palming his cock on one hand, the other hovering above his keyboard to extend the bid when it was starting to look like someone else might have you.

he doesn't know why he's choosing to spend his Friday night watching an OnlyFans stream when Hinata had invited him to drinks. he doesn't know why he's hard looking at a stranger pleasure herself. he doesn't know why he's determined to be the highest bidder.

for a whole hour, the bids keep coming and coming. you have moved to a plain dildo now, gently rocking yourself back and forth. you've been edging yourself for so long, you think you'd come from just a tap to your clit.

"alright folks, bidding will end in 10, 9-," you start counting down, and watch as the remaining bidders race. $5500, $6000... Finally, just as you finish, the number turns $10,000, highest bidder: KennyBoi5.

Kenma releases a reliefed sigh and loosens the harsh grip on his cock. he throws his head back, and closes his eyes. he briefly contemplates leaving you with the money when his screen lights up with a call from you. without hesitation, he accepts the call.

the first thing he heard is your moan, loud and desparate. then, a whine.

"please kenny, can i cum? i'm too sensitive, please..."

Kenma groans, "no."

your thighs clench at the voice, gravelly, as if experiencing the same torture you're experiencing.

"please, sir. let me cum..."

"no," Kenma chuckles, "i'll let you cum when i want you to."

your eyes roll back. you curse under your breath. his voice and dominant tone is working you up, and you can't do anything but whimper.

"put your phone on speaker and close to your pussy. let me hear it," he commands.

you moan, shakily placing your phone right under your pelvis. you thrust the dildo faster into you so he can hear every sound.

"good girl. good litle girl."

"please sir, i really want to cum," you cry out as tears pour down from the overstimulation. "please, my legs are shaking, my pussy's twitching, it hurts, please i-"

"that's not my problem, is it?" Kenma asks as he strokes his cock fast.

you sniff, "i was rooting for you, you know? i wanted you to bid the highest. wanted to spend alone time with you."

Kenma can't help but moan. "is that right? then we should savor this moment, shouldn't we? we should make this even longer."

"no please. i haven't cum in over an hour. been waiting for you to let me cum. please, let me cum."

Kenma's hands stroke his cock faster, "tsk. fine," he sneers but even he can't last longer. "cum, cum for me, y/u/n."

with a strangled cry, you cum. your hips lift off the ground as you start squirting.

"nghh, i'm squirting. i'm squirting-"

Kenma growls at the sounds you are making, with a few final thrusts he shoots his load on his laptop screen, until your profile picture is covered with his cum.

"thank you, sir," you giggle.

Kenma can't help but smile. "you did good, y/u/n. i'm looking forward to more of your content."

you blush, "of course.."

the two of you end the call and go to sleep for the night. but not before masturbating to the thought of each other again.

taglist:

@kodzukenanon @kodzuken-queen-cece @roe-sinning @setterswife @applegiris @swagghostgothgarden @simpnationn

#kenma x reader #kenma smut #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #kodzuken

313 notes · View notes

anarmorofwords · 3 years

Note

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

#the last hours #tlh #alastair carstairs #shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #anti charles fairchild #is this anti anna?#kamala joshi #ariadne bridgestock #chain of iron #chain of gold #spilling the tea

55 notes · View notes

suometar · 2 years

Text

Hello artists of Tumblr!

I'm writing a book that's coming out in April 2022. It's a science fiction/horror novel and I need a cover art for it.

I would love to support the artist community over here, so I'm asking if any of you would be interested in creating original art for the book cover.

First of all, I'm a graphic designer and I know what goes into work like this, so don't worry about the fee. I'll pay it in full and based on a fair rate.

Also if you would be so kind and reblog this post to spread the word I'd appreciate it. You can also tell an artist outside tumblr about the request if you think your friend etc might be interested about it.

Please continue reading :)

What I'm looking for

The artwork should have a realistic and futuristic style. It should be in full color.

I'll enclose more details about the story in private for you to consider it further, if it's suitable for your style, and if you're willing to make it.

The artwork request won't include any profanities or nakedness of any kind.

Anime or other cartoonish styles are not accepted at this time.

I'm hoping the artwork would be finished no later than by the end of February 2022.

Preliminary terms of work (details will be agreed with the artist on commission), rights, etc. + instructions how to contact me below the cut

The artwork must be original work created specifically for the book and it absolutely must not infridge copyrights or trademarks even accidentally. It shouldn't also be created based on any copyrighted or trademarked photos etc. because cover art of a book that's to be sold is not considered fair use.

I can give more details on this if you're not experienced on commissions.

Location of the artist

The artist can be located anywhere in the world as long as I can pay you with Paypal.

Artist must be fluent enough in English so that we can agree on the terms of contract directly without a third party.

Format

The format of the artwork is not as important as the style. Either a bitmap or an original vector file both will be accepted.

The file has to be print ready (300dpi) in minimum size of 222 x 210 mm / 8.74 x 8.27 in + 5 mm / 0.20 in bleeds on all sides.

Print ready (300 dpi) size of 315 x 297 mm / 12 x 11.7 + 5 mm / 0.20 in bleeds on all sides is preferable.

The artwork will be spread over the spine and partly on the the backcover, thus the custom width.

Rights transferred to me

I'm looking for rights to:

use of the artwork in the cover of the printed, e-books and other formats of the book,

use of the artwork in the cover or in part in the marketing of the book, in all marketing materials, and all marketing purposes,

use of the artwork or part of it on my author website.

At this time I'm not looking for rights to sell the artwork or parts of it in the form of any merchandise. If this becomes something I'm interested in we'll agree on it and the commission for the rights to it with the artist separately.

Rights of the artist

The copyright for the original artwork remains on the artist.

The artist will be give credit for their work in the book and all of it's versions and also on my author website.

Artist can use the finished book cover or the original artwork in their own portfolio freely with the mentions of the book name it was commissioned for including the author's name.

The artist is not allowed to sell any versions of the artwork in any format or transfer any rights to it to a third party without written concent with the author.

All of the above is preliminary and can be discussed

All details regarding the terms here are just preliminary. Everything will be agreed separately with the artist before the actual commission, but please consider these already before contacting me.

None of it is written in stone, so no worries. I'm flexible as long as the requests are reasonable. If you just want to enquire about the work and the terms beforehand it's non-binding to the artist.

Payment

I will to pay fair fee of the artwork as agreed with the artist. I'm a graphic designer by profession so I know the amount of work that goes into it. Thus you don't have to worry about setting your commission rate on a fair level based on your experience.

My budget it between 200-500 USD/EUR.

I can pay the commission in two parts: non-refundable 25% deposit before the artist starts the work and the rest once the artwork is finished.

Please note that I'm able to pay the rest in January 2022 at the earliest, so there's no rush with finishing the work at this time. I'll pay the deposit upon signing the contract.

How to contact me

Please send me an ask (or dm if you're following me) telling me you are (or your friend outside Tumblr is) interested about the work. Include to the ask

a link to your portfolio, and

an estimate of the fee for a full color, detailed, realistic and futuristic original artwork.

I'll contact you in any case if

the work is suitable to the style I'm looking for or not, and

if your fee is something I'm willing to consider or not.

You can still contact me if you're unsure if I'm interested in your style (not including cartoonish or anime style) or if your fee would be higher than my budget. I'll check all the portfolios I'm sent.

I'm open to suggestions as long as the genre of the book is something you're interested in creating artwork for and your experience reflects the fee estimate.

If I like your style and think it's a good match for my book, we'll continue the discussions for the commission in "real world" with real names through email or messenger apps where the real identity of the artist and author are both visible, either one works for me.

So be prepared to reveal your identity that much so that the agreement of the commission can be made legal. I won't reveal your identity in public, on tumblr, or on any other social media unless we agree to do so on the commission contract for crediting you with the finished artwork.

Thanks for reading!

#artists of tumblr #artists on tumblr

28 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

syphiliticinsanity

pity this monster, man(un)kind

qlcoach

Untitled

altamont498

Altamont498

mwydyn

backyard catboy breeder

the0strich