#I’ve always been pretty mature for my age so I need someone who is at the same place if that makes sense? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theewokingdead · 6 months

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Breaking Free - Francisco "Catfish" Morales x Plus Size f!Reader

Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x Plus Size f!Reader Summary: You’ve always felt insecure about your body, especially since your last relationship. It isn’t until you meet Frankie that you wonder if there is more to life than worrying about your appearance. He tells you he loves your body, worships it, makes you feel things you've never felt before. Can you finally feel confident in your own skin? Can you finally break free from your body-hating demons and let yourself love who you are - and let Frankie love you? Word Count: 8.8k+ Rating: Mature – 18+ ONLY POV: First Person Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. A/N: I took over the following ask received by @musings-of-a-rose: "Frankie and the reader (Fem) has been dating for a year and they are completely in love especially Frankie, but the reader is extremely insecure about her body, even if Frankie says he love her body and everything about her, so every time they are in private they have to do it with the lights off but Frankie doesn't really matter about, he give you the time you need, until one night you decide to face your insecurities and surprise Frankie, please do it with all the smut you can." I’ve never answered an ask before because I’m terrified of disappointing people. I guess this is me, like Reader, facing some of my insecurities. I hope you enjoy! Hope this is enough smut! **Reader is plus sized with stretch marks and cellulite, but is otherwise not described. **Post-Triple Frontier but no mention if he has a child or not Please follow @theewokingdeadwrites to get notifications when I post new fics

Masterlist

“What?” I question, leaning towards Frankie, who’s standing next to me with a wide smile and a look of absolute adoration in his eyes while looking at me. The crowded bar bustles around us, filled with people and music and chatter, an atmosphere of excitement filling the room with Christmas just around the corner.

“Nothing,” he replies, practically having to shout over the noise of the bar. He seems embarrassed that I caught him admiring me, but he wasn’t exactly being subtle. He never is. “It’s just…you look incredible tonight. I mean, you always look incredible, but…” He awkwardly rubs at the back of his neck, his cheeks flushing. “I just can’t believe you’re mine.”

I dip my head, hiding a shy smile, never one to easily accept a compliment. “Thanks,” I say softly but sincerely before sipping the drink in my hand.

It’s odd, hearing someone compliment my appearance. I’ve given up on ever finding myself beautiful; it’s never crossed my mind that other people could still find me attractive. I’ve never heard as many positive things as I’ve heard from Frankie these last few weeks. It feels strange and wonderful, but I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever be able to believe him.

Taking a deep breath, I remind myself that this is normal. This is how a relationship should be, how a boyfriend should treat his girlfriend. Just because I can’t see my body through his eyes doesn’t mean I shouldn’t trust his words.

Slowly, I tilt my head back up, my eyes meeting his gaze. I can feel the corner of my mouth curving into a sly smile. “I’m pretty sure you don’t own me though,” I reply teasingly, my voice playful. My heart is pounding in my chest as I bask in the thrill of our interaction, waiting for his response. Though we are just two people standing in a bar, it feels like we are each other’s entire universe.

As he stands there before me, I am struck by how the light catches in his deep brown eyes, causing them to twinkle like stars. His broad shoulders fill out his shirt perfectly, making him look both strong and gentle at the same time.

Frankie laughs, his eyes sparkling with joy. “No, I don’t own you…” he says, his voice trailing off as he leans in closer to me. “But say the word and I’ll make you mine.”

I smile, mischievously. “I thought I was already yours, Francisco?”

He chuckles, the sound deep and warm. “I meant in a different way, bebita,” he whispers. “I want to make you mine in every way possible.”

A shiver runs down my spine at his words, my heart pounding faster as I look up at him.

The corner of his mouth twitches with a smirk as he leans in closer, his warm breath fanning across my cheek. His hand slides down to rest on the small of my back. He leans in closer, brushing his lips against my ear. “I want to take you home with me,” he murmurs.

My eyes go wide, my cheeks flush as I realize the heated implication behind his words. My body is already responding to his touch. I lean in closer to him, the noise of the bar fading into the background as I focus solely on him.

“I want to worship you,” he continues. His voice is low and raspy, sending a shiver through my body. “I want to make you feel so good that the only name you remember is mine.”

My heart races at his words, my stomach clenching with anticipation. I never thought I could feel this way about someone, never thought I could be so deeply in – dare I say it? - love. But with Frankie, everything feels different.

“Okay,” I reply, my voice quiet. “Make me yours, Francisco.”

The ride to his place is silent, but my mind is racing. Anticipation bubbles up from my stomach and makes its way through the rest of my body, like a hot drink sloshing in a cup. I steal glances at Frankie, drinking in his rugged features and muscular build. The way his hand grips the steering wheel makes me ache for him, imagining those strong hands on my body, the rough skin sliding against the softness of mine. I almost tremble with need for him. But I’m also afraid that he’ll take my clothes off and doesn’t like what he sees.

It's been longer than I care to admit since I’ve been completely nude in front of anyone. And Frankie has told me that he loves my body, but until now, I haven’t been comfortable enough with him to take my clothes off. We’ve never done anything more than making out and heavy petting before, and I’m terrified.

As we step inside his apartment, I can feel my nerves intensifying. I take a deep breath, steadying myself before turning to face him. He stands before me, his eyes roaming over me hungrily, making my heart race with a mixture of fear and excitement. His gaze lingers on my curves, and for a moment, I feel self-conscious, but then he takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to brush my hair from my face.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmurs, his lips closing in on mine. I melt into his kiss, my arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His tongue sweeps into my mouth, his hands roaming over my body, igniting every nerve in me. I moan against his lips, unable to resist his touch any longer.

Frankie breaks away from the kiss, his eyes dark and lustful. “I need to have you,” he growls, his hand sliding down to grip my ass, pulling me closer to him.

I can feel the sharp jut of his erection pressing against me, and the thought that he wants me makes me burn with desire. Somehow, we reach his bedroom, Frankie kicking the door closed behind him. He turns to reach for the light switch on the wall, but I quickly grab ahold of his wrist, stopping him.

“Don’t,” I blurt out, my voice echoing through the room. The light filters through the blinds from the moonlight and streetlights outside – enough so that it isn’t pitch black, but the shadows still lurk in every corner. It’s all we need – I don’t want him to see my flaws, to see my heart racing like a wild animal inside my chest. I want, more than anything, to share a passionate night with Frankie, but I can’t let him see me – not when my body is the way it is.

I stand there frozen, watching as he moves closer, a small part of me knowing that he’s not looking at my imperfections. He sees something else entirely. Something that makes me feel seen for the first time in years.

“Are you okay with this?” Frankie questions, concern laced in his voice. “I don’t expect anything from you just because you got this far. If you’re not ready-”

“I’m fine,” I reply as casually as possible, but my words come out almost a bit harsh. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m here because I want this,” I say with more conviction. “It’s just…” I hesitate, thinking about how to explain the truth without revealing too much of myself. “It’s been a while for me.”

“How long?”

“I-I don’t know,” I respond with a shrug. “I stopped counting. At least a year.”

“No pressure then, right?” he jokes, his eyebrows raised and cheeks puffed out in a boyish smile. He reaches for my hand, his fingers warm on mine as he grips them. “I really want this. I want you.” He smiles shyly. “I, uh…” His throat bobs and his cheeks flush. “I think I’m falling for you.”

Smiling softly, I reply, “I think I’m falling for you too.”

Frankie’s lips boldly meet mine as his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me close. His tongue slips into my mouth and swirls around mine. I can feel the heat radiating from his body as it crowds mine, both arousing and protecting me at once, making me feel like nothing else in the world matters. The smell of him invades my senses, a mix of musk and sandalwood that makes my knees weak. I’m too lost in temptation to think straight at the moment and waste no time in removing my clothes, Frankie following my lead. I barely get a moment to get a good look at him before his lips are back on mine.

The air around us crackles with an electric intensity as our naked bodies come together for the first time, my breasts brushing against his chest. His hands roam over me with fervor, memorizing every curve of my body as we move together. The feeling of his bare skin against mine raises goosebumps all over my flesh. And for one shining moment, nothing else exists but the two of us, lost in each other's embrace.

Frankie runs his fingertips across my sides, tickling me slightly before moving down to my waist. The sensation shoots sparks of pleasure throughout my body. He lets out a low growl in the back of his throat, tangling his fingers in my hair as he kisses me. I moan into his mouth, my body aching for more.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to taste you. I bet you taste so fucking good.”

His words only make me want him more. I can feel myself dripping as his hands caress my body. His lips meet my neck, and I can feel his hot breath against the skin of my throat. He gently scrapes his teeth against the tender flesh, and I can feel it throbbing beneath his touch. I could come just from his kisses and soft touches. Moaning, kissing, I rub my slick pussy up and down his leg, my clit practically ready to burst.

A high-pitched whine fills the air, and it’s an embarrassingly long minute before I realize I made that sound. I haven’t felt this turned on in – well, fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been this turned on. As the thought hits me, I lose the feeling, lose the edge I’m riding.

The man I was with prior never made me feel special, never made me feel beautiful. He never pulled out the stops to make me feel appreciated—instead, he treated me as an object of his physical desires. Tears start to well up in my eyes, but I try to hold them back.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, baby,” Frankie says suddenly, and I realize he’s stopped kissing me.

“It’s nothing,” I reply, an obvious lie.

“Bebita, please,” Frankie begs. “Tell me. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

I snort at his statement. My cheeks burn with fury and humiliation. I feel tears pressing against the backs of my eyes, wanting to break out. Every time I take a breath, it hurts, like I’ve torn something inside me that shouldn’t have been torn. It hadn’t been just one man who had reduced me to this; the last was just the worst. I’m angry at myself for not loving my body the way I should, but mostly, I’m angry that I ever let anyone tear me down the way they did, to reduce me to a shell of who I was or could be.

Putting both of his hands on my face, Frankie forces me to look at him. My vision is blurred from the tears I won’t allow to fall, but I can see the worry in his eyes.

“What do you see in me, Frankie?” I question, my voice a whisper. “I’m not in shape…I’m not pretty…I-”

His lips seal themselves around mine before I can say anything more, causing me to gasp in surprise. His tongue slips into my mouth, tenderly. I relax into the kiss, and after a moment, he pulls away.

“Are you crazy?” Frankie questions. “Each and every single thing about your body is beautiful.” His hands fall to the slope of my waist. “You are so fucking gorgeous that it hurts how gorgeous you are.”

I let out a sound that’s a mixture of a laugh and a sob. “That’s cheesy.”

“Yeah, I know,” Frankie chuckles. “But it’s true. My dick is so hard it feels like it could burst. That’s what you do to me.”

I smile.

“Do you believe me?”

“I want to.” I mean.

Frankie holds my face once more, his eyes staring at me softly. “You. Are. Beautiful.”

Who is this man? I wonder as I stare at him, pleasure blurring the edges of my vision. He wants me. He desires me. It’s clear in his face, in his eyes as they smolder with desire. His full lips are parted as he breathes more heavily, his broad chest rising and falling as he devours the sight of me standing before him. We’ve only been dating for a few weeks now but it feels like this is where I have always belonged, like this is what I am supposed to be doing. Is this real? Am I dreaming? Is this only going to lead to more hurt?

I don’t know…but a part of me wants to find out.

He pulls me in for a kiss, his lips soft and gentle against my mouth. Our teeth click together as he kisses me more fully, sweeping his tongue into my mouth to taste me again and again. His warm scent fills my head as our tongues find each other. When I break away, trying to catch my breath, his mouth immediately moves to my throat, kissing a hot trail to the spot behind my ear, where my pulse leaps madly.

“You deserve to be adored and worshiped,” he murmurs into my ear. “I look at you and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found you.” He nibbles on my lobe before growling. “Can you feel how much I want you? Can you feel what you’re doing to me right now?”

“Yes,” I breath.

“I want you so fucking bad.” His teeth grab onto my lower lip and tug, making me moan again. Then he spends some time kissing along the line of my jaw before returning to ravage my mouth with his tongue. “Do you know the things I want to do with you? Do to you?”

“Tell me.”

“I want to lay you on the bed, spread your legs, bury my face in your pussy, and eat you out until you can’t remember you name. I want to make you come on my mouth, around my cock…”

My eyes go wide and I feel my cheeks flush with color. He isn’t even touching me and I’m so turned on I can feel my body clenching, wetness pooling between my legs. He makes me want him so much I think I can explode from the intensity of it. I’m shaking now, trembling with need and anticipation, and a little fear.

Frankie moves down to my neck, his lips and teeth working against my skin. His fingertips gently cup my breasts, pulling at my nipples. “I want you to scream my name.”

“Fuck,” I whimper, my hands clutching his back. “Touch me.”

“Greedy girl,” Frankie teases, grinning. He presses warm kisses against my throat and chest, moving slowly down my body.

“Please,” I whimper, taking his hand and gently guiding it down my body. “I want you to make me feel good. Please.” His fingers slip between my lips

Frankie groans as his fingers sink into my wetness, teasing my clit lightly before he gently makes contact with it. I shudder as my legs move apart, my fingers tangling in his dark hair, my pussy practically screaming with pleasure. It’s so intense I can’t even think straight.

He slips a finger inside of me and I let out a gasp, the sensation sending a wave of pleasure through my body. Frankie’s lips trail up my neck, pressing against my ear, and his voice is harsh, but gentle. “I’m going to make you feel so fucking good.”

Shivers run down my spine. I sink against him, capturing my lower lip between my teeth.

I whine when he removes his fingers from me, his hands returning to my face, lips crashing to mine. He backs me up until the back of my legs hit the bed and I fall onto the soft mattress. He climbs on top of me, his body weight pressing me down, a delicious feeling of submission washing over me.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes. Always.”

“Close your eyes.”

My eyes search his, a soft smile forming on my lips before doing as he commands.

“I need you to relax. To just feel. Can you do that for me?”

“Mhm.” I’m nervous, but I do as he says, my body sinking into the mattress as I try to relax. I sense him drop to his knees at the foot of the bed. He plants a kiss on my thigh, and I shudder beneath the feel of his warm, soft lips on my skin. I breath in deeply, the shakiness apparent.

“You are breathtaking,” Frankie praises between kisses. His hands grab either side of my hips, pulling me towards his face. He gently nuzzles my mound, inhales my scent. “And you smell like heaven. I can only imagine what you taste like. Fuck, I need to taste you.”

Need. Not want, but need. Fuck, yes.

“Taste me, Frankie. Please.”

My breath hitches when he licks his tongue against my clit. My hand fists the sheets, my thighs already shaking from the rush of sensation pouring through them.

“Oh, God!”

“You taste so good,” Frankie rasps. His deep voice sends a shiver over my skin. “I could eat you for breakfast, lunch, dinner and still not have enough of you.”

As I writhe, he slides a finger inside me, then a second, reaching the spot that helps lead me to detonation. My stomach clenches, the muscles in my legs tight.

“Frankie, yes! I’m…I…”

With all sense of rhyme and reason lost, I begin to shudder. He presses his fingers deep inside me, thrusting them slowly in and out. His tongue laps against me relentlessly, taking everything I have to give him. The cry of pressurized release that escapes my mouth is startling and loud.

“There it is,” I vaguely hear Frankie praise. “Good girl.”

He crawls on top of me, wiping the wetness from his facial hair with one hand as he hovers above me. God, I love the way his skin feels pressed against mine. “You did beautifully.”

“F-fuck. Fuck me,” I plead between pants.

“No,” Frankie states, planting a gentle kiss on my collarbone. “I don’t want to fuck you, baby. I want to make love to you. Please.” He is sincere. Desire burns in his eyes, free of the disgust of my last partner. “Please, let me have you.”

I nod, unable to speak. He kisses me, and I allow his tongue to seek mine, but he’s soon gone.

Frankie leans toward the nightstand and opens a drawer, pulling out a condom. Quivering in the dim light, I watch him tear the wrapper with his teeth and then roll the condom over his cock. It’s the first time I get a good look at it. Long, thick, and smooth – just like I’d pictured him.

He lines himself up at my entrance, looking me deep in the eyes as he pushes inside. It’s been so long since I’ve had a man inside me that I’m not sure I can take him all the way in, but he pushes in slow, giving me time to adjust.

“Frankie,” I gasp in surprise.

He groans, face nuzzled into my neck. “You feel incredible. So warm and tight.”

“Please, stop torturing me and move,” I beg, loving the feel of him stretching me but needing more. “Move!”

He grins and pulls out slowly, teasing me with just the tip before plunging back in. My back arches off the bed as I moan in pleasure. He kisses me, swallowing my moan as he pulls out once more then thrusts harder into me. Each thrust he makes shoots waves of pleasure through my body. I can feel the buildup of pleasure again, like it’s a ticking time bomb about to go off. He sets a steady rhythm. My nails dig into his back, urging him on.

“Fuck,” he moans. “I love your pussy. I love the way you feel. I love…I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I manage to utter before his lips crash against mine.

As he picks up the pace, I feel my body begin to tighten. I’m almost there, but I want him to come with me. I wrap my legs around his waist, urging him deeper. He groans and pumps into me faster, his breathing ragged.

“Come for me,” he breathes. “I’m close, but I need you there first.”

With one hand, I reach down and circle my clit. He kisses my neck, opening his mouth and swirling his tongue on the skin. I come so hard, screaming and going boneless. He slams into me one last time, burying his face into my neck, groaning long and low before collapsing beside me on the bed.

Once his breathing slows, he moves from the bed, leaving me with insecurities. Did I do something wrong? Did he not enjoy himself?

“I’ll be right back,” he utters then stumbles off to what I assume is the bathroom.

My heart races in my chest as my thoughts turn to everything we just did. I’ve never felt so adored, so appreciated, so loved. No one has ever made love to me like he did or talked to me the way he did. My ex-boyfriend hated how I looked and would insist that I cover up because of his discomfort with my body. I remember one night vividly – the night that absolutely broke me. I put on a sexy lingerie set hoping it would help make me feel beautiful. The moment he saw me, his face twisted in disgust.

“Can you put on a shirt or something?”

I try to shake the memory from my head, not wanting to taint the moment I just shared with Frankie. But it’s too late. The tears are already falling from my eyes. I turn onto my side, pulling a blanket over my body as I do. Then I cover my face with my hands, trying to will them away before Frankie returns.

Moments later, I feel the bed shift as Frankie climbs back in behind me, beneath the blanket. The warmth of him presses up behind me, holding me tight against him, his hands warm yet damp. It didn’t cross my mind until then that maybe he was going to get a wet towel to clean up – after-care another thing I’ve never experienced – but he no longer seems concerned about cleaning up.

“Hey. What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m fine.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I just…I thought…” I close my eyes tight, wishing I could will the tears away. As much as it hurts, I want to be completely honest with him. “I’ve never been comfortable in my skin, Frankie. I mean, cellulite? I’m gross. Stretch marks? I’m not beautiful. Thigh gap? What the hell’s that?” I huff, a tear rolling down my cheek. “Loving myself has always been hard. Nobody has ever tried to make me feel good. Then, the last time I tried a relationship with a guy… He never wanted to have sex with me with the lights on. He made me wear a shirt so he wouldn’t have to see me. He made me feel disgusting.”

I turn onto my back, allowing myself to look at him. “I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but I can’t help it.”

Rage flashes in his eyes. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

A smile tugs at the corner of my lips, but it disappears as quickly as it came. “He wasn’t the first, Francisco, and I don’t know that he’ll be the last.”

“He’ll be the last,” Frankie promises. His lips press against mine, his grip on my waist like a brand. I know he means it. He won't treat me that way because he’s nothing like the men I've dated in the past. Frankie will protect me from them.

“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice choked with emotion as I reach up to wipe away the trail of fallen tears on my face. “I know you didn’t sign up for all this baggage. I know I need some serious therapy. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable enough to have sex with the lights on. And it's not you that makes me feel this way - it's all me. Knowing my body is on full display… I just can’t focus, be present in the moment.”

I sigh, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders as I speak the truth. The darkness of a room is comforting, a soothing balm against the anxieties that plague me. My skin prickles at the thought of being seen under harsh lights, every imperfection laid bare for scrutiny.

Silence stretches between us before he speaks again, his voice gentle but firm.

“You’re right. I didn’t sign up for baggage. I signed up for you, and if that means helping you sort through your shit, then so be it. We’ll work through it together.”

“And if I can’t work past it?”

Frankie slides his hand up and cups the side of my face. “I don’t care about the lights. If I have to move into a cave just to be able to fuck you whenever I want, I’ll do it. I’ll install dimmer switches in every damn room of the apartment so you can find the level of light you feel comfortable with. And, if you didn’t already know, I really fucking love lingerie.”

“Yeah?” I question, raising an eyebrow while I roll onto my side and lay on an elbow.

“Yes. Fuck, yes. Just thinking about you in some little lace number is making me hard again.” He throws back his head and groans. “God, I’d come on sight.”

I giggle. I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t give me a little confidence boost.

“My point being…,” Frankie continues, looking at me again. “We can work together to find ways to make you comfortable.”

I melt at the thought that he’s already thinking about ways we can make this work, that he’s not pressuring me to do something that would make me uncomfortable for his pleasure. “Thank you for understanding, Frankie.”

He pulls me to him, and I rest my head between his collar and his jaw, my hand splaying out on his naked chest.

“I love you,” Frankie says, echoing the words he spoke early.

“I love you too.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I’ve got a lot of insecurities, too, you know.” His voice is quiet.

“Hm?” I question, rubbing my hand along his chest. “Like what?”

“Like the fact I can’t grow a facial hair for shit,” Frankie responds, sounding a bit grouchy about it. “It’s all patchy - like I’m a dog with mange or something.”

I can’t help the laughter that escapes my mouth, knowing he looks absolutely nothing like a mangey animal. I look up at him and cup his cheek, feeling his stubble prick my fingertips. “Are you serious? I think your patches are adorable. One of my favorite things about you.” I kiss the bare spot on the cheek closest to me.

He smiles. “And in case you didn’t notice, I have worse scars than a few stretch marks.”

“I have more than a few,” I point out. “Also, your scars are sexy. They’re proof of your bravery, your sacrifice, your honor. You should be proud of them.”

Frankie’s chest heaves as he scoffs. “Not all of them.” He falls silent for a moment, his gaze drifting away as if contemplating whether he should say more. And then, as if making up his mind, he gently takes my hand and guides my fingers to his left cheek. Beneath my fingertips, I can feel the roughness of scar tissue along his cheekbone, harder than the smooth skin that surrounds it. The warm touch of his skin sends shivers down my spine and I realize that I have noticed the scar there before but never questioned its appearance. It’s like an old friend who is always there but never talked about.

“I got this in a helicopter crash a few years ago – in Colombia.”

I can tell by the way he says the words, by the look on his face as he says them, that he hates remembering that time in his life.

“What happened?” I question, gently encouraging him to continue. To my surprise, he does, and it was unlike anything I’d ever expected.

Frankie tells me the whole story – how Santiago talked him and the others into conducting a reconnaissance of a Colombia drug kingpin’s compound on the pretext that they were aiding the government, then how they ended up deciding to raid the compound themselves, killing the narcos and leaving with the hundreds of millions of dollars hidden there. How Tom, who I've heard mention of before, became greedy and forced Frankie to take more money than their escape helicopter could carry, resulting in the crash. But he doesn’t end there. He tells me about the hostile cocaine farmers, about Tom’s death, the car chases and gunfights they endured transporting their friend’s body and whatever was left of the money back to his family.

A job that spiraled out of control into a mission from hell that cost lives.

“Jesus, Frankie…,” I utter when he finishes, shocked that he has been carrying the weight of that secret, but even more surprised that he felt comfortable enough to share that with me. “That… That’s a lot. Thank you for sharing that with me.”

Frankie’s eyes are focused on the ceiling. He closes them, inhales deeply. “I’ll understand if you want to walk out the door and never come back. I won’t blame you.”

I lay my hand back on his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He looks at me, resting a large hand on top of mine. “Neither am I.”

I offer him a smile. “What happened in Colombia…it wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to do to survive. I hope you know that.”

Frankie nods, like he wants to believe me. “Anything bad that anyone has ever said about you or your body – it’s bullshit. You’re beautiful. And I don’t care how long it takes; I’ll spend every waking moment trying to make you believe that I need and love every inch of your body.”

My heart swells in my chest as he leans in and seals his promise with a kiss.

Frankie’s head turns, as if he can sense me watching him from across the room. The moment our eyes meet, his lips curl up in a mischievous grin. I smile back at him, unable to wrap my head around the fact that he has been mine for just over a year. A year filled with hurt and pain as we’ve dealt with our demons, far outweighed by all the laughter and love. A year where I finally understand what it means to be in a healthy relationship. A year where I’m finally starting to learn how to love myself – all thanks to the wonderful, patient, handsome man across the room.

I watch as he exchanges a few words with Benny before making his way toward me, patting his good friend on the shoulder with his beer-free hand as he passes him.

“You can’t just eye fuck me from across the room,” Frankie teases when he reaches me. “It’s Christmas, and there are children present.”

“Technically, it’s not Christmas,” you point out, the Miller brothers having gathered all their friends and family for a party the weekend before the holiday. “And unborn children don’t count,” I add, gesturing to Will’s girlfriend. “Which means I can eye fuck you all I want.” I gently jam a finger into his chest. “And don’t you dare act like you haven’t been undressing me with your eyes all damn night.”

“Well, it isn’t a surprise that I want to unwrap you when you look like the most tempting damn gift under the tree.”

I giggle to myself then take a sip of wine. If he only knew that I'm internally begging him to remove my clothing when we get back home. He has no idea about what I have underneath my dress or the things I have in store for him – it’s been a year in the making.

“I didn’t know you have a fetish for nicely wrapped presents. Probably something you should explore in therapy,” I tease.

It’s no secret that we both have entered therapy in the last year, Frankie for his PTSD and me for my body image issues. It was time. Frankie has been nothing but patient and understanding of my insecurities—and our sex life certainly isn’t lacking thanks to creative positions, blindfolds, and Frankie’s obsession with lingerie—but I realized I couldn’t ignore my demons forever. There is more to life than worrying about my appearance. I’m ready to experience it…tonight. I feel just bold and confident to finally give all of myself to him.

He just doesn’t know it.

“I only have a fetish for you,” Frankie playfully replies.

“Ugh! So cheesy!” I groan, playfully rolling my eyes. “You really think you’re going to get me in bed tonight with a line like that?"

Frankie chuckles, but takes it as a challenge. “You know, I told Santa not to even bother with Christmas gifts this year – because you look better than any present I could ever hope to open.”

I laugh. “Cheesier. Want to go for three?”

“Alright.” Frankie takes a step closer to me, bending close to my ear so only I can hear. “I hope you’re ready for a not-so-silent night”-I bite down on my lip, hiding my smile, anticipating whatever ridiculous thing is about to come out of his mouth-“because when we get home, I’m going to fuck you so long and so hard that you’ll be hoarse from screaming my name.”

I gasp, my eyes going wide, wearing a combination of surprise and excitement on my face. My heartbeat is erratic.

Frankie smirks, knowing exactly what his words are doing to me.

I can’t help but laugh. “I’m not going to let you get away with saying something like that in public.”

I feel the tip of his nose graze me, his lips moving closer to my ear.

“I’m counting on it,” he whispers, his words sending a shiver down my spine.

I turn my head to face him, and our eyes lock. I see the mischief and desire in his gaze, and I can't help but feel drawn to him.

“Think anyone will notice if we get out of here?” I question.

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Without another word, he takes my hand and leads me out of the crowded house and onto the quiet street, leaving our drinks behind. The cool air hits us as we step outside, the night sky sparkling with stars above us. We walk in silence, the tension between us growing with each passing moment. Finally, he stops and pulls me close, his arms wrapping around my waist. I can feel the heat of his body against mine, and I know I won't be able to resist him for much longer.

He leans in and kisses me, his lips soft and gentle at first, then growing more urgent and demanding. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and the passion between us ignites.

We stumble back against his truck, our bodies pressed tightly together. Frankie’s hands roam over my body, teasing and tantalizing me, and I can’t help but moan in pleasure, my skin tingling from his touch. The stubble along his jaw rubs my chin raw, but I hardly notice – I’m addicted to kissing him, and I want nothing more than to kiss and kiss and kiss for the rest of our lives. He tastes so good, and just the touch of his tongue against mine is enough to make my entire body tingle with lust. His erection presses into me, hot and throbbing even through the rough denim of his jeans, and I grind against him.

“Baby, if you don’t stop, I’m going to come.”

I dip my head back and moan, thinking how hot it would be if he came in his jeans right here, right now.

“Don’t tempt me,” I say as I grab his shirt and pull him in for another kiss, making sure I brush against his cock one last time before we break apart. “Alright. Fine. Let’s go.”

Frankie groans, then opens up the door of his truck and helps me inside. I scoot across the bench seat, wanting to be as close to him as possible. The entire drive home, our bodies are pressed up against each other, his hand on my thigh, rubbing my skin. I want him so bad, and it’s all I can do to not rip his fucking clothes off and fuck him right here in the truck.

Frankie pulls into the driveway of our home, one I moved into just weeks after he bought this past summer, then cuts the ignition and switches off the headlights. He hops out then grabs my hand, leading me into the house, straight to the bedroom. As soon as we reach the room, he kisses me like he needs me more than air. I could spend eternity kissing this man, and it would never be enough. But I want to feel him, his skin on mine, his lips on my body. I break the kiss, breathing hard, my lips tingling.

Frankie watches me, his eyes fixed on my every movement. He swallows, his throat moving with the action. I kiss his stubbled cheek and move to the buttons on his shirt, undoing them one by one. I push his shirt off, then help him remove the t-shirt beneath it, staring at his muscular arms and bronze skin. I trail my fingers down his stomach, following the trail of hair that disappears beneath his jeans, helping him unbuckle his belt and push his pants down.

“Your turn,” he says.

Smirking, I turn my back to him. “Turn on the lights, then help me with my dress.” I brush my hair to the side, allowing him easier access to my zipper, then look over my shoulder. His eyes are wide, his lips slightly parted. He stands there for a moment, as if trying to process what I just said.

I nod, letting him know it’s okay. “I trust you.”

My words force him to spring into action, flipping on the light and dimming it just enough to not be too bright and overstimulating. Then he steps behind me. His warm breath caresses my skin, his fingers nimbly lowering the zipper of my dress painfully slowly. He skims his fingers down my spine, making me come alive with sensation. My eyes flutter shut as he presses of series of tender kisses to my exposed skin.

Finally, my dress slides off me, leaving me in the satin and lace bustier set I had purchased especially for tonight, complete with garters holding up my stockings. I knew this set would drive him wild.

“Let me look at you,” Frankie says, helping me step out of the fabric pooled at my feet, then turning me towards him. He steps back, and I am suddenly feeling self-conscious as he devours me with his eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” he utters. He grips my hips, bringing me close to him, then falls to his knees. “Fuck, baby. Do you know what you do to me?” He plants a kiss to my covered stomach.

I smirk, reaching down to tip his chin up toward me. “How bad do you want me?”

He looks up at me, desire and need in his luminous eyes. “Bad. So fucking bad. I need you.”

I bite my lip, not quite ready to give myself to him yet. “You know, you never told me what you want for Christmas.”

“You,” he growls, planting a kiss on my thigh. “I only want you.”

“You can’t unwrap me,” I point out.

“I could. Will you let me?”

“It’s not Christmas,” I remind him, trying my best to sound stern.

“Baby, please, let me unwrap you.” He breathes heavily against my thigh while planting wet kisses, his hands gripping my hips. It’s clear he wants me desperately. How can I say no?

“Merry Christmas, Frankie,” I say, giving him all the permission he needs.

“Fuck yes.” He slowly runs his hands up my thighs, causing me to sway. Unhooking one of my stockings, he slides it down and kisses my thigh inch by inch, lifting my foot to slide my stiletto then stocking. He continues with the same action on the other leg, then places his hands on my hips. His fingers hook around the elastic of my panties and pulls them down, his eyes locked on mine as he does so.

When my panties join the floor, he is back at my center, his breath hot on my skin. I don’t dare move. Don’t dare say a word. I simply wait for his next move while reminding myself how to breath.

“So beautiful,” he mumbles.

“Wait. One more thing,” I manage to say, reaching back to unclasp my bra. I allow the final piece of my undergarments to fall to the floor, and, for the first time, I am completely on display for him to see.

Frankie looks up at me, his eyes dark. He is trembling with desire. “You’re perfect…but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

I blush, feeling self-conscious, but I’m not going to let my thoughts consume me. My body is worthy of love and respect as it is. Frankie is right: I am perfect.

“I want to. Now, fuck me with your mouth, Francisco.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

My muddled brain screams as he gently runs the tip of his nose up my center. His grip strengthens on my hips, kneading my flesh beneath his fingers. Then his mouth meets my lower lips. A gentle, wet kiss. Then another and another. His tongue darts out and flatters against my seam as he slowly licks up my center. He hands cup my ass and tug me closer, bringing me to the center of his mouth, his tongue licking up my lips again, tasting me with unmatched hunger, flicking at the small bundle of nerves.

My breath escapes in small gasps. I can no longer think. My brain has shut down, only allowing me to feel, and he feels incredible.

“You taste so fucking good,” Frankie groans.

“Don’t stop,” I gasp out, gripping his head with both hands and rocking my hips toward his face. “It feels too fucking good.”

I buck against him, pushing his face harder and harder against me. His breath is hot as he moans into me, sending vibrations through my sensitive flesh. His stubble scrapes against my skin as he presses harder and harder into me. The tip of his nose nudges me, just beyond the hooded flesh. It’s too much and not enough. My orgasm refuses to crest over the edge, an elusive peak that lies just before I can feel happiness wash over me in a torrential wave of pleasure.

“Frankie,” I pant. “I need your cock.”

“No,” he growls, his eyes intense when he gazes up at me. He slips a finger inside me and watches as it slides in and out of me, thrusting through the hot wetness with practiced ease until I’m soaking wet with need for him.

“Please,” I beg, my frustration growing as the tension builds inside me, refusing to snap.

“I want you to come,” Frankie says, looking up at me. “You deserve it.”

“I-I can’t,” I admit, ready to throw in the white flag. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” he assures me. “You’re doing so well. You’re so close, but you’re holding back. I know this is scary for you, but you can do it. Just focus on what you feel. Okay?”

I nod. “Okay.”

“Let go, baby, and I promise I’ll give you what you want.”

I nod, and Frankie dives back in, assaulting my clit while fucking me with his fingers. He swirls his tongue around my clit before sucking it into his mouth and lightly biting down on the tiny nub. I cry out as waves of pleasure start to sweep over me. The heat between my legs is spreading, pooling outward until there's a tingling in my chest that makes me huff for breath before I moan.

“Frankie… I’m gonna… I…”

“Come on, baby… There it is…”

“Yes!”

My entire body tightens, stills, melts all at once. My fingers dig into his shoulder blades, scrabbling for purchase in case I fall over with the pleasure of it all.

I am completely unaware of my surroundings until I feel my back hit the bed, Frankie crawling up my body and spreading my legs with his knees. He kisses up my throat, stopping at my chin.

“How do you want it?”

“Ride you,” I breath. “I want to ride you.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Frankie, please. Let me ride your cock.”

He nips my chin one last time. “You’re so pretty when you beg.”

Frankie rolls off me then pulls himself up the bed to rest his back against the headboard. He holds out his hand and I take it, helping me climb on top of him so that I'm straddling his thighs. I push up on my knees and grip his cock, positioning it near my opening.

“Look down while you take it,” Frankie commands. “Watch as your beautiful pussy swallows my cock.”

I rest my hands on his shoulders for balance, then look down, my eyes locked on where our bodies join while slowly sinking down. Our skin is wet with sweat, and I can smell the sweet scene of my pussy and a hint of Frankie mixed in with the salt and musk. He fills me like our bodies are meant for one another. For a moment, I imagine that this is all either one of us will ever need; there is no doubt that we were made for each other, and we have more love for each other than most couples ever know.

Frankie’s groan echoes off the walls. “Fuck…” His head falls back against the headboard. He rests his hands on my hips and holds me there. “You’re killing me. You feel so good.”

“You sure you can handle me, Frankie?” I ask with a smirk, running a hand over his chest.

“Your pussy is like fucking magic.” He squeezes my hip with one hand then cups my breast with the other, like he wants to touch me everywhere all at once. “Let me see you ride me, baby. I want to watch you ride my cock.”

I stop torturing us both and work my hips in slow circles, adjusting to the feel and fullness of him. I look into his heavily lidded eyes, watching as he winces in ecstasy with every slow and sensual roll of my hips. He keeps his gaze on my face, never moving his attention as I ride his cock.

My gaze drops, landing on my body as it ripples and jiggles with the movement of my hips. The pleasure rises within me, but I am embarrassed at the sight of my own flesh moving to that rhythm. God, is this how he sees me? I want to hide. Would it be ridiculous to reach for the sheets and cover myself?

“Eyes on me, bebita.”

Immediately, my eyes meet his. His gaze burns into me as if nothing else matters, and I don't care about anything except him and how much he loves me, how good he makes me feel.

“You ride my cock so well and look amazing doing it. Think you can come on my cock?”

Heat pools inside me. I move faster, shamelessly grinding myself against him.

“That’s it,” he encourages. “Take what you need from me.”

My nails score his skin as I ride him fast, like we’re in a race to the finish line. Breath rasping, teeth clenched, a wild determination fuels my movements.

“Take it, baby,” Frankie encourages, giving me all the power, making this all about my pleasure, my enjoyment. “Use me to get where you need to go.”

He presses a palm flat against my lower stomach. The extra pressure sends a sharp ribbon of euphoria spiraling through me. My movements grow erratic, and I babble absolute nonsense. All the tension inside me explodes, rippling and spreading to every nerve ending.

“Yes, baby. That’s my girl.” He drives himself up into me, brutal thrusts that draw out my own pleasure. He curses and thrusts again, once, twice, then his body stills. He groans, releasing inside me.

Frankie brushes my hair back, pulls my head to his, and captures my lips with his as my jumbled brain regains consciousness. After having his fill, he releases my lips and smiles at me.

“Hi.”

I return his smile. “Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

I nod, my smile widening. “Yeah. I-I did it.”

“You did it,” he echoes. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

I move off him and lay beside him, tucked safely in his arms, not knowing what to say next. He pulls a sheet on top of us and we lay in silence for some time, enjoying the feel of the gentle rhythm of his breathing.

“I love you,” I finally say, breaking the silence.

“I love you too.”

I nestle in closer to him, loving the way his voice rumbles though his chest to mine when we’re this close.

“What are you thinking?” I question, sensing that his mind is running a million miles a minute.

“About how I wasn’t lying when I said I only want you for Christmas. Nothing you can buy me will be better than the last year with you, and I want more. So much more.”

I hum, completely blissed out. “Me too.”

“Marry me then.”

I laugh, then move my head to look up at him. “I swear to God, Francisco, if this is another Christmas pun-”

“It’s not.” His face reflects his seriousness. “I’m asking you to marry me.”

I push myself up in bed, my mind reeling, wondering if I came so hard that I passed out and I’m dreaming.

“I was going to wait until Christmas morning,” he continues. “Had this whole thing planned out. But I can’t wait anymore.”

My mouth falls open, and I try to wrap my head around his words. “You’re serious?”

“I’m serious.” Frankie reaches out, laying a hand on top of mine. “If I could have picked the woman I wanted to spend my life with, I never would have been able dream up you. You’re kind, beautiful, gorgeous, funny, you have a heart of gold, and most importantly, you love me for who I am despite my imperfections.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, seeming to watch the flickering emotions that must be passing across my face.

Emotion tears through his throat, causing his voice to become husky. “I love you, and I want to spend every second of the rest of my life reminding you just how beautiful and amazing you are. I want you to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night – always. Will you marry me?”

Tears course down my face as I shift to my knees and throw my arms around his neck. My lips meet his, giving him his answer. I’m insecure and hesitant about a lot of things in life, but there is not a single doubt in my mind about this.

I pull back, my hands cupping his neck. “Is this real? Like, really real?”

A small laugh escapes his lips before nodding. “It’s real. I have a ring. It’s hidden in the branches of the tree in the living room.”

My heart pounds with happiness. “I don’t need the ring. I only need you.”

A chuckle rumbles through him, and he kisses me with a greedy kind of joy that makes my toes curl. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes."

#frankie morales #francisco catfish morales #francisco morales #pedro pascal #triple frontier #pedro pascal characters #triple frontier fanfiction #pedrostories #catiewrites #triple frontier fanfic #frankie catfish morales #pedro pascal smut

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celaenaeiln · 4 months

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is the dickbabs romantic relationship always as bad as in Tom Taylor’s run or is it actually enjoyable in other runs? i want to read more of dick’s og nightwing run but ik dickbabs is a recurring thing and i strongly dislike what i’ve seen of it in modern comics (absolutely no offense to anyone who ships it!!)

also sort of related, but have dick and babs really been BFFs since grade school or is that new canon? i remember the initial new 52 run referencing him and babs as on and off but nothing about being childhood besties.

finally- what would you consider to be key dick grayson runs?

Surprisingly Dickbabs is pretty nice to read in other runs. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who hates Dickbabs as a ship but really it's only bad like 85% of the time and the majority of that is because of the Batgirl comics. Batgirl comics treat Dick like shit and it's a losing tossup whether he's treated well in Oracle related comics.

But to get to your point, Dickbabs in Nightwing (1996) was originally pretty good. Tom Taylor's run of Nightwing is the weird one because in every other run you have Dick + relationships whereas in Taylor's you have relationships + Dick. That being said, I highly, highly recommend reading the og one. At one point it does get toxic but Barbara leaves almost immediately after that and aside from that the ship was pretty nice for the most part.

Dick and Barbara have NOT been BFFS since childhood or whatever and this gets on my nerves that Tom Taylor and Hope Larson did that. This is one of the problems I have with the Dickbabs ship. Writers who write them love changing the story to erase Dick's friendships with the Titans. They literally love to pretend Wally, Donna, Roy, and Garth don't exist. BARBARA IS NOT HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND!! They literally keep deaging her and for what?? First she was like two decades older than him, then she's five years older than him, and now she's the same age?? Just let her be older! Barbara being the same age as Dick makes no sense because it takes away her maturity to turn her into this childish, selfish character she has no business being. She's not even enjoyable when she's deaged this far. I'm still on the she's 5 to 6 years older than Dick canon timeline and there is no way she was childhood besties with him.

The way I picture Dick and Barbara's relationship is this:

youtube

DC should've just let it at this, this was peak Dick and Barbara relationship.

Very narrow starting out list but some must read Dick Grayson runs are:

Nightwing (1996) - If you don't feel like reading anything else just read this

Nightwing (2016) - Really good up until Tom Taylor's run

Batman: Gotham Knights - pretty good and lots of cute Tim and Dick!

Titans (1999) - This is a must read if you're not interested in the original Teen Titans comics

Outsiders (2003) - Love him so much in this

JLA/Titans - Important for understanding his relationships with Titans and Batman

Nightwing (2011)

Justice League (2011) Issue #25 and Forever Evil - Same arc

Batman: Prelude to the Wedding: Nightwing vs. Hush

Robin era

Batman - One Bad Day: Mr. Freeze - If you want to skip the medal ages but still want to know what Dick was like as Robin, this comic is all you need to understand his character and personality and beliefs.

Batman Chronicles: The Gauntlet - Dick's gauntlet test!

Robin: Year One - For fun :)

Dick!Bats era

Batman: Battle for the Cowl - To get into Dick's batman

Batman (1940) Issues #682 to #713 - Batman Dick. Incredible. Dick was such a good batman and so fun to read.

Batman and Robin (2009) - Dick and Dami!

Batman: Streets of Gotham - Also Dick and Dami <3

Justice League of America (2006) Issues #41 to #60- Dick leading his own JLA team as Batman! SO FUN!!

Detective Comics (1937) Issue #864 to #881 - Honestly Batman Dick was so good I can't tell if I like Dick more as Nightwing or Batman. Obviously it's better for his mental health if he's nightwing but he just did such a great job as Batman.

Spy era

Grayson - YESSSS. Just everything about this.

Batman and Robin Eternal - It was really good up until near the end but then it got better again

Dark Crisis - Definitely, without a doubt, no question

Additional: The ones above are focused on him but if you finish reading this then Tim's Robin (1993) Comic is a fantastic one. He doesn't appear in every single issue but he appears a lot and it's a lot of Dick and Tim characterization. Also Teen Titans (2003) for more Dick and Titans relationships.

#dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #batgirl #cl anon asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!

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wh4re4marvel · 2 years

Text

Pray for forgiveness.

(not my gif)

A/N: Sorry I’ve been gone so long. This was supposed to be up in March but life got, very life… Anyways here it is now, please enjoy. As always READ THE WARNINGS, and MINORS DNI, my work is strictly always 18+ and I’m also not responsible for anyone’s content consumption. Also, unrealistic but reader is 20+ in a private catholic college.

Summary:

A night out with friends after school leaves you tumbling the street of Hell's kitchen alone. Still in your shit school girl uniform brings the pervs out from the dark alleys, and the one and only hero Daredevil comes to your rescue. Now semi-sobered up, the masked man is now the reason your heart is pounding, and he can hear it. He can smell what he's doing to you just by being in your presence. He's just going to take you somewhere private, to protect you of course. Your teasing makes things take a bit of a turn, and Matt takes you in the one place he never thought he'd do such a thing. A church.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x fem reader

Word Count: 2,600+

Warnings: Smut, p in v, dirty talk, religious talk and symbolism, mature actions in a church, hair pulling, choking, heightened senses, no protection, legal age gap, pet names, lots of dirty talk

You hiccuped stumbling the streets of Hell's Kitchen. A drunken smile plastered on your lips that didn't seem to leave as you thought about home. Missing your comfortable bed. Getting drinks with friends was fun, and easy because no one seems to care about an ID if you show some cleavage. Of course the shitty clerk wanted a number though. They always do.

If the man just glanced at the patch on your button up shirt he'd notice it literally said Saint Mary's Private School. However, he couldn't even maintain eye contact so what's the shocker?

Loud whistles startled you from your thoughts, looking left and right you figured they were for something or someone else. So you kept on moving, until the whistling started again. Yelling from behind you could be heard from miles. "Hey pretty girl, you lost?" "Need a ride home?" Those were the only two things you could fully make out. "Oh- I'm okay I'm going home." You tried your best to seem sober and get ready to run if they got any closer. "Saint Mary's hm? Do they know their students stay out past curfew to drink?" The tallest spoke up and moved closer. You stepped back slowly, with every step he took near. "I-I'm not- uhm..." your words got away from you. What did he even expect as a response? I mean come on...

"Ah it's alright. This can be all of our secret. How about you come with me and we get some more drinks?" He seemed to be the leader, radiating confidence. Panic set in and before you knew it, bam flat on your ass. You were so upset with yourself and embarrassed. Horror movie mistake right here. Dumb girl tripping not even a minute in.

Before you could scold yourself more, the street light above you went out with a crash. Like a rock was thrown at it, and it became nearly pitch black. The light wasn't doing much already. You screamed as arms scooped you up. A hand clamped over your mouth, and you were being carried bridle style. Being ran with in someone's arms. You began to thrash and fight him off with your life. A thud was heard and you were back on your ass with a thud.

"Hey hey hey, calm down, I'm daredevil. There were a lot of them, so I thought just getting you out of there was best. Are you okay?" The man with a black mask on his head asked. It looked like a scarf. "Sorry, y-yeah." You were catching your breath when you took the time to see who saved you. How his shirt hugged him, how deep his voice was, how plump his lips were. How could you be thinking about that at a time like this?

Matt heard your heart race and was worried. What could be wrong? "Are you hurt at all?" He asked trying to figure out what the problem was. "Oh- uhm no. I think I maybe scraped my legs a bit but it's nothing." You were fumbling over your words and tense, that's when it hit him.

The sweet smell of your aching cunt, your thin panties and short skirt not doing much to contain your excitement. "They're still around, looking for us. Should be gone in half an hour at the most." He explained, trying to focus his senses elsewhere. "Okay, t-thank you so much. You really don't have to stay, you've done s-so much already." God you hoped he'd stay... "I rather be safe than sorry. It's no problem at all." While he was ready to sit in a comfortable silence, you were rather bored and interested. "What's your name Mr. Daredevil?" You asked, fidgeting with your skirt. He chuckled, "now why would I tell you that?" The slight shake of his head made you smile. "Was worth a shot. I'm Y/N." You giggled a bit, that lingering alcohol made you more confident, hoping to see under that mask by the end of the night.

"Well Y/N what are you doing out at this time of night all alone?" The tone was taunting. It made your cheeks heat up and smile grow, glad he likely couldn't see you with the thick layer of black cloth over his eyes. He could hear your heart beat quicken as the smell of your dripping cunt ever so lightly hit his sense of smell again. He inhaled deeper through his nose, desperate for more of that sweet sweet smell between your thighs, he could almost taste it. Fuck he really wanted to taste you...

"Was with friends, then poof, I was all alone, but now I'm alone with you sir." Something about the way you said the last word made his already semi hard cock throb in his pants.

"Sir? You're catholic aren't you kitten?" He asked and the nickname made your brows raise and cunt ache. The masked man seemed to notice as he smirked. Cocky bastard.

"Born and raised in the church, never missed a sunday, I'm a really good girl sir." Absolute filth. You attempted to sound as innocent as possible, but the intention behind your words was clear as seduction was thickly laced in your tone. "I'm having some trouble believing that." You admired his smile as the words fell from his lips. You furrowed your eyebrows, lips in a pout. "What's so hard to believe?" Your tone was playfully hurt, he could hear the smile in your voice.

"Well, for starters, something tells me good catholic girls aren't roaming the streets in hardly any clothing and drunk on a Saturday Night, and honey the way I can smell how wet your sweet little pussy is, now that's just sinful." He was standing before you now. Head tilting as he stood above you, smirk plastered on his lips still. Not faltering for a single moment,

"Cat got your tongue kitten? Then let me give your pretty little mouth something to do." You bit your lip harshly in excitement and overwhelming nerves as the masked man undid his pants.

Minutes into him fucking your mouth and you were an absolute train wreck. Body shaking, thighs drenched with your slick, no time like the present to ovulate I guess. Your eyes were puffy from how much crying you've been doing, mouth painfully aching as it stretches to take all of what he's giving you, your nose smashing into his pelvic bone again and again, hair tangled in his rough hands and your angelic whimpers and gags as you take him so well.

"Such a good girl, you were right. Taking me so well." He groaned and you were in absolute awe, everything about me this man absolutely mouth watering. Down to his core he was sinful. The way he smelled even was lustful. He had to have been sent by the Devil himself, with the way he was built like an absolute perfect God.

Before he finished in your mouth he pulled you off, your spit coating him and running down your chin. He tugged on your jaw, pulling you to your feet slowly. Your shaky legs almost giving in.

"Want me to fuck you pretty girl?" He purred, one hand gently around your throat as the other slid up your skirt, feeling how wet you really were. "Use your words." The demand rather present in his tone. It felt as if something was blocking your words from leaving your lips, you were scared. No guy your age had made you feel anywhere close to this good and he's hardly touched you.

"That's alright, I'll get you rambling again kitten." Before you could ask what he meant, his fingers slid past the thin lacy drenched material of your panties, rubbing your wetness all along your folds as his middle finger ran up and down the slit of your eager pussy.

"So wet all for me? Bet you'd worship me huh? Already at a loss for words and I'm barely putting my finger tips on you sweet girl." Every word was taunting and left you beyond flustered, not to mention so incredibly horny. "Please." The word fell from your lips pathetically, you just wanted him so bad. No idea how much longer you can handle any of his teasing. Your eyes already beginning to water as you clench around nothing for probably the hundredth time.

"Please what?" Then his fingers left you completely and you swear you've never felt so ruined. Beyond pathetic you began to babble pleas and whining for the complete stranger in front of you. Matt wanted to take his time with you, something so fragile, naive, helpless, sweet and angelic. He could practically hear that cross chain necklace around your neck. If only God could see his little saint now.

“Please fuck me sir.” You whined, desperate for some contact or anything from him. Hell if he kept talking the way he did, while looking the way he did, you could definitely just make a mess in your panties from that alone.

As soon as the words left your mouth, he knew he lost control. Grabbing you by your hair, dragging you to the altar of the church. You had forgotten where the two of you were. Committing such sinful acts in such a holy place. You felt so dirty, your stomach slightly sinking but just for a moment before the devil himself tossed you onto the floor in front of wooden altar. A bible not even a foot away from where your knees landed.

“Pray.”

You must have misheard him, he’s kidding. You let out a nervous chuckle and turned to face him. His face unreadable especially with his eyes being covered. He didn’t seem to be joking though.

“You want to be fucked don’t you? Pray for it, and pray for forgiveness for making me have to deal with you being an absolute slut and taking care of your needs in a church of all places like the whore you are.” The harsh words sunk in, stinging a bit, but your body reacted much differently. Pussy flooding, dripping down your thighs and clenching, aching around nothing at his filthy words.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, otherwise I won’t fuck you kitten. And we both don’t want that now do we? Make sure to use your words this time.” The voice you heard was different from the same one that initially saved you earlier tonight. Deeper, darker and so full of pure lust.

“Yes sir.” You eagerly responded, so desperate for the man before you. You interlocked your fingers, bowing your head, with closed eyes you began to pray. Shame and guilt nowhere to be found as your hormones consumed you.

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, please forgive me for I have sinned, and am about to continue to do so.” As you spoke, he began to pull you to your feet, making you pause. “Don’t stop, make sure you pray for me too kitten.” He purred in your ear, bending you over the altar. Your eyes widening as you felt him flip up your skirt. Not wanting him to stop though, you continued.

“Forgive us both for the sins we are about to commit, and how badly I want it. I need it.” The cold air against your pussy as he pulled your panties to the side made you gasp. Without warning, he pushed into you slowly making you dig your nails into the wood your face was being pressed into, one of his hands arching your back to his liking as he semi forced himself in. Regardless of how absolutely filthily wet you were, he was just too big to fit in with ease, but he’d make it fit.

“Say Amen now baby.” He demanded, sliding in and out extraordinarily slow. As soon as you parted your lips to speak he began to thrust into you wildly. Loud cries escaping you from the sudden sting ridden pleasure. No matter how hard you tried to quiet yourself, biting your lip, holding a hand over your mouth, nothing could keep the noises he drew from you down. You felt so filthy being fucked so brutally in such a place. The smallest pinch of guilt rose as you could almost feel the eyes of a Jesus statue across the room peering into your soul, but part of you liked that. How crude the acts you were committing were. Matt groaned as you clenched around him, his noises were Godly.

“How cute, you’re being torn apart by the Devil in a church kitten. And here you are loving every second. Gushing all over my cock with that pretty little pussy, if only your God could see you now Angel.” The praises and demeaning words had you whining, not sure if you wanted to hear more or for him to stop because you really loved every word that left his mouth.

“Oh God! Please don’t stop!” Interesting choice of words. Matt smiled as he was pounding away into you, releasing all his rage and frustrations into your abused hole. His orgasm close by already, having your mouth just been wrapped around him not long before.

“God? I can be that for you too Angel. Just call me sir for now pretty girl.” You felt as if you’d explode. So overwhelmed with pleasure you’ve never felt before, not quite like this, such an intense orgasm building and you’re right at the edge of it. Your stomach in absolute impossible endless knots, you didn’t even realize it until the salty taste hit your lips but you were sobbing. Such pleasure being foreign you couldn’t handle it.

“Aw you’re doing so good for me kitten, such a good little slut, all dumb on my cock, just drink on it aren’t you baby? Make a mess on it for me Angel. Put on a show for your God, show him what a dirty girl you are.” His words had you, if you weren’t about to cum before, you surely would now. Instantly once he stopped talking fluids came rushing out of you, squirting all over his cock and the tile floor. Your body trembling as he fucked you senseless through your orgasm, reaching his as your walls spasmed around his already close and sensitive cock.

His cum filling you up past the brim, a mixture of your fluids now in the tile before he even pulled out. Your bodies just stilling for a moment as you enjoyed the sensation of him emptying himself into you, and you being so incredibly warm and full inside.

A gasp and whine left from you as he slid out, his cum slipping out of you almost immediately as there was so much of it. Your legs gave out on you, and Matt had to grab you and hold your still shaking body steady. A smirk on his face from how he left you.

“You’re gonna need a lifetime of hail mary’s and never missing another Sunday of church again to be forgiven for that Angel.” A rather wide cocky grin adored his face, “my name is Matt by the way.”

Damn are you happy to have shitty friends right now.

#dark!matt murdock #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock x you #matt murdock one shot #dark! daredevil #daredevil x reader #daredevil fic #dark daredevil smut #dark smut #marvel smut #matt murdock smut #dark matt murdock smut #daredevil smut #18+#rough smut #smut #charlie cox #charlie cox smut

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writerfae · 5 months

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I am very talkative today, it seems! I hope you don't mind!

I have an interesting question, because though I don't know the answer, I have a good guess!

But Endre would want to know this way more than me.

To Endre Henry would seem like the ideal big brother (cause he is). Even knowing that he left Aiden, he'd still seem perfect to Endre because he sees how they act around echother. He sees how Henry still looks out for Aiden, and he hears about how they were as kids.

And Endre, who's trying to be a better big brother, who regrets the way he treated his siblings in the past would really admire him.

But in one of his guilt fuled, self-deprecating moments, he would surely ask something like this, and I want to hear what Henry would answer:

Endre: H... how did you do it? You were carrying so much pain. You were out of place. Your mom died. You bacame a vessel for your father's grief, just because you looked like her. You had to care for both him and your brother and Aiden... he didn't have to carry as much. You had to make sure he didn't. You did make sure he didn't, so how did you never get jealous? How come you never wanted to switch places? How did you never take it out on him? How come... how come I wasn't more like you?

Please answer as Henry if you can!

I don’t mind at all! In fact I’m happy for every ask I get from you ^^

I feel really sorry for Endre. I think Henry would too. He’d probably tell him something like this:

I am not an heir like you. I didn’t have a whole kingdom to worry about. All I have is my family and they are everything to me. I was taught from my mother from a very young age on to do what is best for my family and that stuck with me. Especially after losing my mom. I had to keep looking after them, like I promised her.

It was really hard, yes, and often I hated it. But for me, it was something I had to do. Someone had to keep this family from falling apart and I did it. Because I’m the eldest child. Because I love my family. And no matter how hard it can be, love is not a burden. I had to take responsibility. My father couldn’t and my mother was gone and Aiden was just a child.

And I wanted him to be a child. See, the thing is that unlike you (I assume), who had to prepare for a reign all your youth, I had a pretty carefree childhood. Sure, there was this secret I carried, but still, I was happy. When I was eight, I got to learn and play and joke around. It wouldn’t have been fair if I didn’t let Aiden have the same experience. I’ve never been jealous of Aiden for getting to be a child, cause I got to do it as well when I was his age.

And that makes the difference, I think. You never were allowed to experience being a child in the way your siblings did. I get why that would make you jealous. You know, I never told anyone but Callan before, but when I was younger, I sometimes found myself envying Aiden for being our father’s biological son. It’s not like Milan loved Aiden more, he’s always treated me the same gentle way, yet the two had a sort of connection that him and I didn’t have and it was obvious to me. So it is not like I never got jealous, but jealousy is an ugly feeling. And like all negative emotions, it needs an outlet, so it won’t eat us alive. Again, that’s something my mother taught me. (What we learn from our mothers really shape us as a person, I think.) For me, that outlet was going to the woods. It cleared my head, sorted my thoughts and made me calm down.

I don’t know how you were raised and I can only guess from what I know from Callan how much pressure there was on you ever since you were a child. But if I had to assume, I think you lacked such an outlet and to protect yourself, you started letting your negative emotions out on your siblings. You know as well as me that that’s not the right way, but you didn’t know any better. Growing up takes time for a reason. If you have to grow up too fast, like you and me, you can act mature all you want, but certain things, certain emotions and processes simply aren’t fully developed yet. Deep down you’re still not an adult, you are just a child keeping up an act all the time. Not just in front of others, but also in front of yourself. And that can lead to miscalculations and wrong decisions.

Like you mistreating your siblings. Like me leaving behind my brother. Because that’s the thing. I am by far not perfect, I haven’t always been the best brother in the past. But Aiden has forgiven me for that, just like your siblings forgave you, so all that is left is to do better in the future. Give yourself time to grow. You have acknowledged your mistakes and your mistakes have been forgiven, so now it is time to forgive yourself. There is no need to look back, look ahead instead. Look at your siblings, meet them eye to eye.

#I hope I didn’t forget anything #Endre and Henry are completely different in the way they were raised the circumstances they faced and the way their personalities are #so I think it’s hard to compare their situations #Endre was raised after the standard of everything for our people #Henry was raised after the standard everything for our family #I don’t know if I could really bring across what I wanted to say or if it made sense at all #but I tried. well Henry tried #Henry seems like the perfect brother cause we see him through Aiden’s eyes. but he has his flaws too #still he never would’ve wished for Aiden to switch with him #Henry pretty much has self-sacrificial tendencies (lies in the family) that’s why he’d never do it #writer speaks #writeblr #wip: the knights of the alder

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marvelmusing · 2 years

Text

Blood Is Thicker

Pairing: Vampire!Aleksander M & Vampire!Billy R & Vampire!Logan D x Fem!Reader

Summary: As Aleksander’s lover, you’re always eager to meet with the two other members of his rather unconventional coven.

Warnings [18+]: smut (everything in this fic has been discussed and consented to beforehand), the boys call each other brother but they are in no way related, biting, reader’s blood is consumed a lot, typical vampire vibes, soft dom!Aleksander, oral (fem receiving), fingering, foursome kinda, pain kink, praise kink, bondage, knife kink, hint of subspace, minor blood kink? reference to somnophilia, soft aftercare

(That is most definitely the longest warnings list I have ever made, and I’m kinda impressed by it)

A/N: this is my ‘official’ halloween fic, so happy Halloween and I hope you guys enjoy this (I’ve tagged a lot of people in this since it includes the majority of my character scope atm, please don’t feel the need to interact if the content in this isn’t for you)

My Masterlist

“There’s our little buffet,” Billy remarks as you enter the room, hand in hand with Aleksander. As always, Billy’s words have your stomach flipping in anticipation, and your cheeks warm as the duo lay their eyes on you.

“Hi Billy.” You say shyly, before glancing over at the figure leaning against the mantelpiece and giving him a small nod. “Logan.”

Aleksander’s mother was a particularly powerful witch, who hadn’t wanted her son to go through eternity alone. Using magic unknown to any of you, she had managed to locate her son’s doppelgängers.

Billy had been a soldier fighting in the civil war, charming every lady he came across and delighting in the violence he was allowed in the name of his cause. Logan had been her most recent find, a party-loving socialite from 1920s New York, disowned by his family for his wild nature.

Aleksander's doppelgängers both had vampire blood in them, meaning that they were originally human, but once they reached maturity - around the age of thirty Aleksander had explained to you - they grew into their vampire tendencies.

Despite their differences, the three of them are almost always of the same mind, especially when it comes to you. You had been surprised that Aleksander had shown any interest in you when you first met. The fact that his brothers were also enamored by you was even more of a surprise. Whilst their features are nearly identical, their mannerisms and appearances make it easy to tell them all apart.

They might all be the same height, but Aleksander seems the tallest. Perhaps because he’s the oldest. He’s the mature brother, solid and dependable. Serious, but he has the natural ease of someone who has lived through centuries. Aleksander has the confidence of someone who knows himself.

Billy holds himself straight, like a soldier, but his muscles are lean and poised, making him look the most agile of the three. His hair is always slicked back, not a strand out of place. Out of all of them, Billy is the one who puts the most thought into his appearance. Every cautionary tale that warns you about the seduction of vampires is proven right by Billy Russo.

Logan appears the most relaxed. Hair always ruffled, and clothing askew, he’s lively and up for absolutely anything. Whilst his cocky attitude might have some people believing the worst of him, Logan is still getting a grasp on the events of the last century or so. He’s eager for everything his new life can give him.

Aleksander narrows his eyes slightly as Logan takes a drink of whatever liquid sits in the crystal glass in his hand. By the scent alone, Aleksander will have identified whatever expensive vintage the younger vampire has brought up from the cellar. Even with his new taste for blood, it appears Logan hasn’t loss his love of alcohol.

“Pretty dress, darlin.” Billy says lowly as he stands up from the armchair next to the fireplace. The firelight flickers over his features as he buttons up the front of his suit jacket. The three of them fix their attention on you, no doubt imagining how your dress will be in tatters before long. Your thighs shift against one another and Billy smirks.

Logan hums his approval as his face dips down into the general vicinity of your throat, inhaling deeply.

“And you smell fucking delicious, sweet thing.”

Billy’s smirk darkens as he remarks teasingly,

“Hope you’ve been taking all your vitamins lately, gotta keep that sweet blood healthy and all.” Aleksander’s arm curls firmly around your waist, pulling you back against his chest.

“Of course she has. Moya milaya is as good a girl as they come.”

Logan grins, taking another drink before he responds,

“Don’t we know it.”

Blood flushes to your cheeks, and the two of them shift slightly. You can see Billy’s shoulders lifting as he inhales the scent of your blush, and Logan grips tightly onto his glass. Aleksander smiles as he nuzzles his face against your cheek, and you can feel his pride at you being able to pull such a reaction from them both.

“Now if you’ll excuse us, gentlemen. We have a table to set.” Both of their eyes darken at the prospect of dinner, and you suppress the urge to bite your lip. Billy catches your gaze, and the corner of his mouth lifts,

“See you soon, darlin.”

Aleksander very rarely uses the dining hall. During mealtimes the two of you prefer to use whatever small table you can find in whichever room you are in at the time. There is a countless number to choose from, as Aleksander’s mansion verges into castle status in your opinion.

A crisp white tablecloth has been thrown over the length of the long narrow table, covering the dark wood beneath it. It’s only once you reach the end of the table that you let go of Aleksander’s hand and sit down on the edge of the fabric clad wood.

Aleksander steps to one side of the room, opening the drawer of a cabinet and pulling out a bundle of thick black ribbon. Once he returns to you, he stands between your parted legs, the ribbon discarded onto the table in favour of cupping your face in his hands.

“You’re certain about this?” He asks in a low voice, and you nod.

“We’ve done this before.” You remind him.

Last year had been the first time the three brothers had shared you, and you were excited to do it again despite the tingle of nerves in your stomach. He nods faintly as he brushes his nose over your cheek.

“Regardless. If you want to stop, at any point, you need only say the word. None of us wish to force you into anything.”

“I know.” You assure him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I’d tell you to stop, I promise.”

At the sound of your promise, he pulls back and warmth floods down your body at the sight of him towering over you. The ribbon curls elegantly around his fingers as he surveys your reaction.

“Just like we practiced?” He prompts, and you nod eagerly.

With a gentle nudge, Aleksander guides you into lying down with your back flush against the table.

He wraps the ribbon around your calf, before bending your knee to fold your leg up. He allows a little slack as he ties it to your thigh, the dark fabric feeling both soft and firm at the same time. He loops another piece around your folded limb, tightening it, before he reaches down to the table leg and ties the end of the ribbon to the furniture.

He does the same to your other leg. With his heightened sense of smell, Aleksander is constantly aware of your blood flow, and ensures that none of his bindings restrict your circulation in any way. This wasn’t the first time you had been tied up by him, but you hadn’t been tied up the previous time you spent the night with the three vampire brothers. You had got the idea from an illustration in a book you had found in Aleksander’s study, detailing the ritual feeding of a coven.

Once both of your legs are bound, your heels planted on the tablecloth, with legs folded and spread open, you attempt to test the ribbon. Aleksander’s knots are always perfect, and you fail to do anything other than shift your hips slightly. You can't close your legs, the only movement you're allowed is to stretch them even further open.

“Comfortable?” You hum and nod. “Good girl.” He praises, pressing a kiss to your thigh which has you squirming against the hold of the ribbon. “Arms as well?”

His eyes darken at the sight of you, a pretty eager thing, half bound already, offering your wrists up to him. He can smell the blood pounding under your skin, and he leans forward to press his lips against the pulse point in each of your wrists. The scent of your arousal thickens in the air, and he growls lowly.

“So beautiful.” He whispers, wrapping more ribbon around your wrist and tying the end down to another table leg.

His eyes meet yours, and the monster howls inside him at the demure look in your eyes as you wait for him to corrupt you. Aleksander kisses you hungrily, his mouth hot and wet as he plunges his tongue between your lips. With your free hand you grasp onto a fistful of his hair, urging him closer, and relishing in the final movement you will be allowed for tonight.

His fingers curl firmly around your wrist, as his teeth graze over your lower lip in warning. You shiver as his hold tightens on you. The look you give him is so adoring he almost wonders if his control had somehow slipped, compelling you into loving him so much even with his fingers digging into your soft skin.

Aleksander presses a tender kiss to your wrist, and binds it in the same manner as the other before tying it down to another table leg.

Arms and legs spread wide, the skirt of your dress has ridden up, revealing your lack of underwear. You had picked out a pretty flowing dress of a very light pink with a short skirt that almost looked like a night dress. Not usually your style but the thought of looking so innocent while these vampires debauched you was far too appealing.

Aleksander kisses you again, deeply, and you can do nothing but accept his kiss with your entire body bound and helpless to resist him.

When he pulls away his eyes are alive with delight as he watches your chest heave in an attempt to gain back the air he had stolen from you. He steps away to pull at one of the bell strings, the one that will ring in the parlour where Billy and Logan are waiting.

Anticipation tingles over your skin, and the heat of your bare pussy burns, slick with need.

The door opens, and the two brothers pause as they enter. You can lift your head up to see them, but it puts a strain on your neck. Billy smirks darkly once he sees you, and Logan’s face breaks into a delighted grin.

“Youngest goes first.” He states eagerly and Billy turns to him with an offended frown.

“Since when?”

“Since always.”

Billy looks as if he’s about to argue, until Aleksander’s voice cuts between them both decidedly with a pointed reminder.

“We have all night.”

Aleksander pulls a chair out and sits down, resting his forearms on the table beside your head. He brushes a stray hair from your face tenderly, and your eyes flutter closed.

Billy selects a sharp, thin knife from the assortment of cutlery at the side of the room, before he sits down on your right-hand side, directly opposite Aleksander. Which leaves the head of the table for Logan, and he grins as he takes the seat that gives a perfect view of the mess between your thighs.

The three vampires exchange several looks between themselves, and you can't read any of their expressions, even as they appear to come to some sort of decision. Aleksander takes hold of your chin, his mouth meeting yours as you hear Billy and Logan moving. A pair of hands grasp at your hips as Logan leans over you, and Billy tugs on your clothed nipples. You whine into Aleksander's mouth as the onslaught of sensations threaten to consume you.

There's a tearing sound and your skin tingles with a burning warmth. Then the chill of the air meets your flushed skin, and you realise your dress has been torn completely from your body. There's a dark glint in Aleksander's eyes and the corner of his mouth quirks lightly as he releases your chin.

Cold metal brushes over your rib cage, and you turn to look at Billy with wide eyes.

Aleksander's rules had been created for your own safety, and to curb his protective nature. Only Aleksander was allowed to bite you. The other two could drink from you through less intimate means, such as sucking from shallow cuts. Aleksander was the only one allowed to kiss your lips or touch your neck. Aside from those areas, your body is theirs to enjoy.

You nod when Billy raises a questioning brow at you, and his smirk widens as he presses the knife against your skin. Pain blooms from the cut, in the form of a sharp sting that has you inhaling sharply. At that moment, Logan leans forward and licks a harsh stripe over your pussy. The edge of his tongue catches over your clit, and you cry out as Billy sucks at the blood blooming from your side. All the while, Aleksander watches you succumb to pleasure, occasionally gifting you soft kisses of encouragement.

Out of the three of them, Logan's facial hair is the longest, and it scraps against your skin as he mouths at your pussy. With Aleksander's expert binding, you can do nothing but sink into whatever pleasure he can grant you.

Billy removes his lips from your skin, allowing blood to trail from the cut. He smooths his hand over your side, and you breathe out a startled sigh at the jolt of pain. Then he's grasping at your breasts, his fingers sticky and red with your blood. You moan loudly, your heart pounding wildly in your chest as Logan curls his tongue, pushing it inside you to lap at your wetness.

Aleksander nuzzles his nose against your neck, pressing a kiss to the spot underneath your ear that has you shuddering. Your hands curl into fists, nails biting into your palms.

“I know you're close, milaya. Let go for us.” He murmurs. Tilting your head back, you hit your climax hard, spilling onto Logan's tongue with a cry. He continues to lap at the mess between your thighs, moving further away from your clit as you whine at the sensitivity.

Aleksander seizes a fistful of your hair, and you tip your head aside, bearing the length your neck to him. He mouths a series of kisses over your skin.

When Logan lifts his head up, you can see the smirk on his face, the lower half shimmering wet with your slick.

“Wanna switch?” Billy asks his brother, to which Logan shrugs with an easy grin,

“Sure.”

They swap places, and soon Billy's dark eyes are staring down at you from between your legs. Logan's lips are still sticky from your pussy as he presses a line of kisses from the cut on your side up to your breasts. Billy spends a moment tracing the handle of the knife through your soaked folds. You gasp at the sting of cold metal against your hot pussy. He spins the knife expertly in his hand, and you clench around nothing at his casual display of control.

He pushes the blade against your thigh, creating a small nick for him to drink from, before he hands the knife to Logan. Your stomach flips at the seamless way they communicate with one another - without any words.

You barely feel any pain from your thigh, and shudder at the sight of a dark red rivulet trailing its way down your skin. Billy laps it up quickly, his tongue scraping over your thigh as he pushes a finger inside you. A broken moan falls from your lips, and all three of them share an eager smile. He holds his finger still inside you, allowing you some respite as Logan slides the knife along the underside of your breast.

Aleksander takes the knife as Logan's mouth laves at the cut, ensuring that no one will accidentally get stabbed as things progress. His hand still in your hair, he presses a kiss to your forehead as Billy begins to thrust his finger inside you. It isn't long before another finger joins it, and you're crying out pleas as his fingers curl against the spot that has you staring wide eyed down at the two of them.

Logan's teeth nip lightly at your nipples, and you groan as you try to squirm against the restraints.

He's the first one of them to undo his trousers, his mouth still on you as he shoves his boxers down and fists his cock. Billy smirks against your skin, you know he's too prideful to be the first one to cave and touch himself. Logan is too hedonistic to care about such things, too busy enjoying your body to realise he has just lost some imaginary contest.

When Billy's head moves from the spot on your thigh, dropping down to lick at your swollen clit, you attempt to buck your hips with little success.

“Milaya, look at me.”

Your eyes lift from watching Billy as his tongue flicks against your clit, and you soon find Aleksander’s darkened eyes. Due to his age, Aleksander’s compulsion is the strongest out of the three of them and you can already feel your mind softening as his eyes lock onto yours.

He hums in approval, the sound rumbling deep in his chest, and your eyes flutter closed for a moment. Aleksander holds your chin between his fingers, keeping your eyes on his.

“Good girl.” He praises you as your eyes fight to remain open, the familiar tingling pleasure sweeping through you.

Aleksander’s compulsion always has the enticing pull of pure safety, inviting you to lose yourself in his eyes. Your mind grows fuzzy, focusing only on each and every sensation. The restriction of your bindings, two sets of hands and tongues on you. The only thing more deadly than his eyes is his voice.

“Such a beautiful sight.” He murmurs gently in your ear, as Logan continues to mouth at your breasts and Billy sucks hard on your clit. “Are you going to let me drink from you, milaya?”

“Yes.” You breathe out instantly and he chuckles.

“Yes? You want me to take that sweet blood of yours?” You can feel his lips move as he speaks directly against your throat. “Right here from your pretty throat? Where it’s the strongest for me, and the most painful for you?”

“Yes, oh yes please.”

You can feel Logan smirk as he sucks on your nipple, his mouth stained red with your blood, his lips still flushed pink with the warmth of your pussy. Billy breathes out a sharp laugh as he shoves his own trousers down and begins to stroke his cock.

“Looks like your girl’s brain is leaking out of her cunt, Aleks.” Billy remarks with a low groan.

Aleksander smiles darkly as he tugs on your hair. He cups the back of your neck, his thumb hooking lying under your chin, the pad of his digit pressing against your cheek to keep you facing away from him, giving him full access to your throat.

He spends a long moment breathing in your scent, listening to the pounding of your heart, your pulse thundering around your body as pleasure has you climbing higher, towards your second climax.

His nose traces over your artery and your heart skips a beat, your body's natural response to a predator. But you're not afraid of Aleksander. You know what he's waiting for, and you're more than willing to give it to him. It's the faintest of whispers, but he hears your words, a plea from the depths of your soul.

“Ruin me.”

He sinks his fangs into your neck with a growl, sharp canines tearing your skin open, ripping blood fresh from your veins, and your scream echoes through the dining hall. His hold on you remains tight, and the other two vampires hurry to place their mouths against one of the open wounds on your body, eager to taste the pleasure that is about to flood through your system.

Billy curls his fingers hard inside you, and Logan grips onto your breast tightly. Eyes squeezed shut, you groan as Aleksander drinks down mouthfuls of your blood. You can almost feel it as it slides down his throat. A part of you becoming a part of him. As if your blood was made for him to consume, as if every one of your heartbeats is for him.

The ache loosens and you let out a pleasured gasp as the cloying sweetness of Aleksander's venom numbs your pain. Under the hazy fog of pleasure, you're aware of someone groaning in the distance. But then you're tipping over edge, clenching hard around Billy's fingers, whimpering with every slippery rub of his thumb against your clit.

He allows you a few seconds to ride out your high before he pulls his fingers out to stroke your twitching pussy in distracted circles. Logan presses lazy kisses over your heaving chest, as euphoria sparkles throughout your body, and you sigh and moan with each wave of bliss.

Aleksander retracts his fangs carefully, lapping at the small puncture wounds left on your throat. With his tongue pressed against them, the wounds stop bleeding quickly, allowing him to kiss your neck and murmur praises as you relish in your high. A singular tear falls from your cheek as the pleasure sinks into your body.

“Sasha.” You whine, and Aleksander snaps his fingers. Instantly, the other two pull themselves from your body.

“It’s alright milaya. I’m here.” A soft sigh leaves your lips, and your eyes flutter closed as he strokes your face affectionately.

At the sound of a low hiss, you look down at the end of the table where Billy sits, his head thrown back as he spills over his hand. Glancing over at Logan, you see him slumped in his own chair, sweeping his sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. Based on the mess over his crumpled trousers, the groan you heard earlier must have been Logan climaxing.

Aleksander reaches for the knife and begins to cut the ribbon from your body. With each limb freed, you slump to the table in a boneless heap, your eyes closing as you sink into a blissful sleep.

You come to when you’re in the bath, warm water cradling your aching body, rinsing away the mess of the evening. Blood mixes with fragrant soapy water, Aleksander must have already cleaned you, and soon you’re sitting in liquid the same colour as your tattered dress which now lies on the floor of the dining hall.

Aleksander holds a teacup to your lips, and you drink eagerly from the delicate porcelain. The tea slides down your throat quickly, soothing the hoarseness borne from your screams. There’s a sharpness in the flavour, something almost unnoticeable. Three drops of Aleksander’s blood, to help your wounds heal and to prolong your blissful state. When the cup is empty Aleksander pulls it away, and you whine, your body aching for more, longing for enough of his blood to turn you right now.

Billy and Logan will be cleaning themselves up in their own rooms before the four of you reconvene in the parlour for the evening, giving the brothers a chance to catch up with one another whilst you sit peacefully in Aleksander's lap until you eventually doze off.

But in this quiet moment you’re solely Aleksander’s. The other two have taken all they are allowed of you, and as much as he enjoys sharing you with his brothers once a year, you’ll always be his. After all, once he’s sure you’re ready, Aleksander will be your sire, ridding you of your mortality and ensuring that you stay just as you are now. Young, beautiful, and happy.

He leans over, kissing your lips softly. Grasping onto the front of his shirt, you attempt to slide your hand down his chest. He breathes out a small laugh, his head tilting aside playfully.

“Now what do you think you're doing, milaya?”

“You didn't finish.”

Confusion sparks in his eyes and his brows furrow as he ponders your words. Then he realises what you're talking about. His brothers had been more than content to fuck their fists to the sight of you, Aleksander hadn't. The only way he would find release would be buried in your pussy, and he wouldn't do that with anyone watching. Besides, you were exhausted. His fingers curl gently around your wrist, and he guides your hand back into the water.

“I can wait.” He assures you. You don't seem convinced, and he leans closer to nuzzle his face against your cheek. “How does waking up tomorrow morning with my cock inside you sound?”

You blink hurriedly, eyes glazing over, words sounding small and slurred slightly as you respond,

“It sounds good, Sasha.” He presses a kiss to your cheek.

“Good girl. You've made me very proud today.” Your cheeks are already flushed from the warmth of the bath, but they prickle with additional heat at the sound of Aleksander's praise.

“Thank you, Sasha.” You say, watching the bubbles slowly dissolve into the bath water. He smiles widely and stands, fetching a soft fluffy towel for you before he holds out his hand to help you out of the tub.

“Now, let's not keep our guests waiting.”

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity

Billy Russo Tag List: @blackbirddaredevil23 @rafaelakelley @theysayitscrazy @nyx2021 @skybridgerton @dragon-of-winterfell @chickensarentcheap @stardustmorozov @sweetwritingfanficfriend @witchcraftandwit @ladyofsoa @ily2lia

BB Characters Tag List: @rachlovesactors

#blood is thicker au #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #billy russo #billy russo x reader #logan delos #logan delos x reader #the darkling x reader #vampire!billy russo #vampire!aleksander morozova #vampire!logan delos #vampire au #the darkling smut #billy russo smut #logan delos smut

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s-uccubus-mommy · 1 month

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Do you have any advice for introducing this to a vanilla girlfriend? I have a mommy domme kink and I desperately want to be put into diapers, but I have no idea how to admit it. I'm also worried that she won't like me anymore if she knows.

Going from vanilla to ABDL would be a giant leap for her, and odds are it won’t go well. If you haven’t picked up on her having any interest in anything related to diapers, I would not lead with it. For your best shot at getting there someday, it’s gonna be a process.

When talking about kink with a partner, it should be an honest and open conversation outside of the bedroom. If you’re not used to this it can feel very vulnerable, but it’s great practice even if your partner isn’t receptive. Listen well to your partner and respect their responses. Tell them the goal of the conversation is for the two of you to grow closer no matter the outcome. You both deserve healthy and enjoyable sex lives.

First start with the idea of a D/s relationship without explicit age play. I would sit her down for a conversation and ask how familiar she is with D/s and let her know you’d love to be submissive with her. Feel free to give specifics and focus on your relationship with her instead of talking about your own kinks (ex: “it would be so hot if you ordered me to eat you out” or “I think a man submitting to a woman is beautiful and I want that intimacy with you.”) Please note I am not advocating for you to lie about any of this. It needs to be honest and genuine.

If that goes well, after some time I’d introduce the term “mommy” and expose her to aspects of gentle femdom.

Then you can try some age play. If you’re big into humiliation and taboo, this is probably the time for a conversation about that too.

Then you can introduce bathroom use control or desperation teasing. If she has an aversion to bathroom activities, this is a good alternative because she doesn’t need to be directly involved. It’s just about giving the permission, she doesn’t need to be there.

If she’s made it this far with you, odds are she will be up for some diapering. I can’t promise it, but if she’s happy to do all of the above it means she’s open and explorative and getting something out of it herself.

Now, I’m going to be honest, I don’t know anyone who is interested in diapering someone else irl. It’s not even something I’m interested in doing on the regular. I’m open to it here and there, but I’m not up for a 24/7 ABDL relationship. It’s a pretty specific kink and it seems like the recipient gets way more out of it than the diaperer. Unless she expresses real interest in it, I would not push her to diaper you much. Maybe it’s a once a week funishment or something. Of course things can always grow and develop over time, but honestly I don’t recommend 24/7 anything for any real relationship.

And now for some personal opinions of mine - if you have a real, intimate, mature, loving relationship with someone who you care for deeply… that’s more important than any kink. I’ve broken up with people over kink and been broken up with over kink before. None of my kink-only relationships have been anything compared to my real relationships. Of course we all hope you can find both, I’m still hoping for that for myself some day, but a partner who’s a good match for you in all the vanilla ways is more important in my opinion.

#mommy k!nk #bd/sm mommy #domme mommy #md/lb #subby boys #gentle fdom #bd/sm advice #fdom

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tunamayojazz · 1 year

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my fav flavor of inuokko is older (late 20s-30s) with a lot of regrets and bad memories but who have been together so long and know each other so well that they face all of it head on. there’s a few fics in this vein but i’ve never seen any older inok art!

anon thank you so much for putting older inuokko in my head. it unlocked a new department in my brainrot and i now have so many thoughts about them...

100% agree that older inuokko would have lots of regrets and bad memories, they've experienced all kinds of things in their 20s (and life in general) but it's mostly bad bc lbr the jujutsu world is not pretty and they did not have a kind childhood...but when they're together, it's easy to forget all the bad for just a bit.

one day i'll have a character sheet for both of them (i am very invested in this)! will just post yuta for now bc im struggling with toge haha. thoughts below on how yuta is in his 30s plus some long story rambling bc i cannot be trusted with a keyboard and brainrot...

i'd like to think that yuta grows to be a lot more confident in his skin and becomes the best at looking after his friends as compared to the past when they've had to look out for him and reassure him more. he's not shy or hesitant in his actions at this age and a lot of people around like to say he would have been a great teacher at the school.

at one point (as a 3rd year perhaps) he entertained the thought of becoming a teacher, but the moment he had imagined his students dying, it was an instant no. he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. it's hard enough that he has nightmares of his friends dying/being hurt sometimes. there's been a lot of close calls over the years. at this point of time, he and toge are both freelance sorcerers and no longer under the school, kinda like mei mei and yuki.

will expand on this in the future but it's due to something that happened and had to do with both the inumaki clan and the higher ups that made yuta swear to never return to the school ever again. he actually had to be stopped from destroying the school after shit hit the fan and that's where he got the scars he has now from. sure he could have healed them easily, but he wanted a physical reminder (he never wants to forget what his foolishness could cost him) of sorts. it's one of the events that i would say was significant to his character development.

they move to kyoto shortly after that. i haven't fully thought out toge's story at this point of time but as yuta is maturing and growing into the person he's always wished to become, toge is crumbling. he has a lot of repressed family trauma that he's always been good at locking away in his mind, but after recent events he just broke.

and of course yuta is there for toge, especially when the latter has been his pillar of strength since they became important to each other. unlike the past, he can read when toge needs space or when he needs someone by his side. over the years he's just been able to sense what toge needs like it's something natural to him.

at toge's lowest points, he reminds him of just how loved he is everyday, as much as he can through words and actions. specifically i think yuta is really good at non-sexual intimacy (pls look at the bottom right sketch)!

one thing that has never changed about yuta tho is that he'll still panic over small things like when maki or toge fall sick. for example when he hears from panda that she's down with a cold, he takes the next bullet train back to tokyo as though she's on her deathbed lmao.

overall i think he'd be pretty stable in his 30s but also it wouldn't take much to make him spiral and lose it ^^

#guess who got carried away again #sorry this is kinda messy #the brainrot coordinator is on leave #will she back? has she ever existed even? idk #sigh the ideas i have for toge's story rn is so heavy like why do i always make him suffer #but its also not my fault the crumbs we have regarding his backstory all point to so much potential angst and despair amirite #its ok yuta is here #and he'll make it all okay again #inuokko #ottoge #inumaki toge #inumaki #okkotsu yuta #yuuta #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #art #hc #au

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musings-of-a-rose · 2 years

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hellooo ! i don´t know if you´re taking request but i just want to left my little idea here.

So i was on internet and i saw this little story and i want it to make it but with Frankie, the reader is frankie´s girlfriend for almost 1 years and now he want to you meet his little daughter, but she is doesn´t really interested on you, and everytime you go to their house she almost ignore you even you know she need a time to accept you the situation makes me feel sad and think if there is something bad on you and Frakie is always there to confort you, until one day she start to talk to you, just a few words, and the next day more and more and start asking you to help her or asking if you want to play with her and she start to trust you more and give little hugs.

also about the smut is all on you if you want a little at the end :)

Give It Time

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Word Count: 1700+

Rating: This is pretty fluffy but my blog is Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: Anon, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get to this! I’ve not really had a ton of time to write these last few months but I’m trying to change that. Thanks for waiting! Also this was not beta’d.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

“I don’t know Frankie…”

“Come on, querida. She’s gonna love you.”

Biting your lip, you think about what he asked you. Frankie and you had been dating about a year now. You were both crazy about the other but there was one last major relationship thing you had to do - meet his 4 year old daughter, Ximena. Frankie’s ex, Maria, had been extra cautious about allowing Ximena to meet you and you weren’t sure if that was because of being cautious or she just hated the fact that someone else was with Frankie.

“What if she hates me?” You ask nervously.

“She won’t. I’ve already told her all about you.”

He gives you those big, puppy eyes and you know you’d do anything for him. Sighing, you nod. “Ok. But let’s go over some things she likes so I can win her over.”

Frankie gives you a big smile and pulls you to him, hugging you tightly and kissing the top of your head. “She’s gonna love you, querida.”

—----

Frankie was right about a lot of things and wrong about others. Ximena loving you? He was definitely wrong about that.

The first time she came in the door, she gave you an appraising look, her tiny brown eyes scanning you judgingly from head to toe. You didn’t even know 4 year olds could roll their eyes and smirk, but Ximena proved they could. She walked straight past you and into her room at Frankie’s, immediately pulling out some of her favorite toys and bringing them to him.

“Papá, play princesses with me?” She looks up at him, holding out one of her Disney princess Barbies.

Frankie glances at you before kneeling down to her level. “Mija, why don’t you play with querida? She would love to play princesses with you.”

She glances at you and you give her a smile, nodding your consent. “I love princesses!”

Ximena looks back at her dad. “I want to play with you, Papá.”

“I have to cook dinner, mija. She’s fun to-”

Ximena shakes her head and looks up at Frankie, her eyes big and wide, exactly like Frankie’s puppy look.

“Mija-”

“It’s ok, Frankie. I can make dinner. I’m sure she missed you! We can play later.”

Frankie looks up at you, an apology in his gaze as he turns back to Ximena, who hadn’t even so much as glanced your way since she first got here.

“Alright, mija. Let’s go.”

Ximena takes his hand, a smile stretching across her face as she pulls him down the hall towards her room. You head into the kitchen and start making the spaghetti, Ximena’s favorite, exactly how Frankie told you she liked it.

That could’ve gone better. Maybe things will get better.

They did not.

Ximena ate a couple bites of food before leaving the table, never once looking at you or even acknowledging your presence. Frankie could sense how hurt you were, but you also understood - another woman was in her dad’s life and this is a normal reaction to the “intruder”. You figured, and Frankie insisted, that with time she would come to accept you.

—----

Time was also not your friend. Ximena hadn’t so much as acknowledged your presence in the 4 months since you first met, and it wasn’t from lack of trying on yours and Frankie’s parts. She just didn’t seem to want anything to do with you.

One night, after Maria had picked her up, you sat on the couch watching a movie with Frankie.

“Is there something wrong with me, Frankie?” You ask, out of the blue.

“What?”

Continuing to stare ahead at tht tv, you answer in a small voice. “Why doesn’t she like me?”

“Oh, querida. She does-”

Turning your head, you fix him with a look.

“Ok. Maybe she doesn’t like you yet, but she will. She just needs time.”

“Is there something wrong with me though?”

Frankie cups your face in his hands, making sure his eyes find yours. “Nothing is wrong with you. She just…needs some time. Ok?”

He’s genuine, and you know he’d tell you if something was wrong.

Nodding slightly, you answer. “Ok.”

Frankie kisses you gently before a loud explosion from the movie makes you both jump, giggling at the sudden interruption.

—----

2 months later, it happened.

Frankie was on a business call upstairs and Ximena was playing outside while you watched, hopeful she’d ask you to play. Of course she hadn’t, but you were determined to not let that get you down anymore.

Ximena starts running, chasing after her ball when she trips, knee scraping against the patio floor. She flips around, a cry starting to come out of her tiny lips when your shadow crosses over her form. Calmly, you kneel down to her level.

“May I take a look?”

Ximena, for the first time since that initial meeting, looks up at you, tears welling in her eyes, but her cry stalling in her throat.

“Maybe you can help me inspect the wound, Doctor Ximena?”

A smile tugs at the corner of her lips at the nickname - doctor was one of her favorite games to play with Frankie. She nods and turns to sit down, dusting off her hands that managed to not get scraped. She bends her knee, wincing at the movement as you both take a closer look.

“Well, it doesn’t look bad. But it does look like it needs to be cleaned and a bandage. What do you say, Doctor?”

Ximena studies her scrape for a few more seconds, sniffling as she looks up at you, nodding in agreement.

“Will you show me where the bandages are?” She nods in agreement and goes to stand, wincing again at the movement to her knee.

“Want me to carry you? It can be like those special beds they have in hospitals with the wheels on them.”

Ximena’s eyes light up at the thought and she nods. Gently, you pick her up, knee facing out as you walk into the house. With a few points, Ximena shows you where the bathroom is, pointing to the cabinet where Frankie keeps the first aid kit and some boxes of character printed bandaids next to it. Grabbing everything, you pull it out and also grab a couple of washcloths, one of which you wet.

“See this wet cloth?” You hold it up and Ximena nods. “I’m going to use it to softly clean away the blood, ok?”

“Will it hurt?” Ximena’s eyes were wide and round, just like her dad’s as she stares up at you.

“It might. But only a little. Would you like to help me?”

Ximena sniffles and nods. “Great! Here - hold the cloth and I’ll help.”

You place your hand on top of hers and guide her through the cleaning, noticing that she hasn’t winced at all. In fact, she looks extremely curious about everything, even looking closer at the scrap once all of the blood was wiped away.

“It’s not one cut but a thousand hundred little ones!” She says animatedly.

“You’re right! Very good observation, doctor.”

Ximena smiles, glancing over at the bandaids. “I want one with sharks.”

“You got it.”

As you help her with the bandaid, Ximena watches in fascination as you cross 2 of them in an X shape. After, you help her down from the counter and she watches her knee as she bends it a few times, making sure it won’t come off. A quick glance at you and a small smile and she was gone, running back downstairs and out the back door.

Later that night, after Ximena was asleep, Frankie crawls into bed next to you.

“I see you got to play doctor today.”

“Oh yeah. She just scraped her knee a little while chasing the ball.”

“Well you must have handled it very well. She went on and on about how you played doctor and showed her what the scrape looks like and everything.”

Your eyes snap to his, lighting up. “Really? She talked about me?”

“Mmhmm. Told you. Time.”

—----

The next morning, you’re in the kitchen making pancakes, Ximena’s favorite, as Frankie was in the shower. Ximena walks in and sees you, quietly standing in the doorway for several minutes observing you. Then she seems to make up her mind, walking determined towards you.

“What’s your favorite shark?” She asks.

“My favorite shark? You know, I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.”

“Then you must have silly friends.”

Chuckling, you glance down at her. “I definitely have silly friends.”

“My favorite is the great white shark! Because it jumps out of the water sometimes!” She mimics the shark jumping from the water to catch its prey and you smile at her.

“That’s true - I do like watching them jump out of the water.”

“Yeah but what’s your favorite?”

“Hhmm…I think..the goblin shark.”

Ximena’s eyes light up. “THAT IS MY OTHER FAVORITE!”

She goes on a long tangent about goblin sharks as you finish up the pancakes, helping you bring things to the table. What neither of you notice is Frankie in the doorway, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed while he smiles at you both.

The rest of the day continues like this - Ximena demanding to play with you and ask you all sorts of questions. At bedtime, she asks you to read a book to her for bed. It takes her a while (and 3 books) to fall asleep, her little chest rising and falling as you leave the room, closing the door behind you.

—-----

When Maria comes to pick her up the next day, she gives you a hug, asking if you’ll be there next time to play more. After many assurances that you will be, she gives you one more bug before planting a wet kiss on Frankie’s cheek, following her mom out of the door.

“See? I told you she just needed time,” Frankie says as he locks the door behind them.

Chuckling, you nod. “You did. You were right.”

Frankie feigns shock. “I’m sorry. What was that?”

Punching him in the arm playfully, you repeat it. “I said you were right.”

“That’s what I thought I heard.”

“You’re an asshole, Francisco Morales.”

He wraps his arms around you, leaning down to kiss you. “But you love me.”

“That I do.”

Frankie stares down at you, his eyes darkening as he takes you in. He leans down to kiss you again, this time deepening the kiss as he walks you back towards the bedroom, where he helps you unwind from the busy week.

-------

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @diaryofkali @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @jadore-andor @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @marrianena @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin

#frankie catfish morales #frankie morales #triple frontier #pedro pascal #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal character ff #pedro pascal character fanfiction #frankie morales x f!reader #francisco catfish morales

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micromys · 2 years

Text

I’ve been trying to sort out my feelings about the Collector as a character for a while, especially as there seems to be a lot of disparity in the fandom with how people have reacted to him. And that’s kind of cool, honestly -- he’s a very impactful character even with just a few scenes, and is written in such a way that it is difficult to know how to feel right away.

But after introducing the show to a friend and marathoning it with her over the course of three days (and listening to her wails of “But there’s another episode, right? There has to be another episode, right? RIGHT?” after the finale), I think my feelings have gotten a bit more coherent, haha. First off, I’ve always felt like the people who write him off as just evil are not really paying that much attention. I also disagree with the people who think he is not a child, when he blatantly is, and not just in appearance. I know there’s a debate over whether or not he actually has a child’s mind or if he’s just playing at it, but I am really dead set on the former. Yes, he’s probably thousands of years old -- but that’s not what determines one’s mental age, especially if that’s not how that particular kind of being ages. The Collector, most significantly, can’t tell when people are lying to him. Not just by Philip, who is a fairly masterful liar (and it’s notable that the Collector sees Philip lie to and betray countless people over the centuries and yet still doesn’t see his own betrayal coming, because they pinky swore, and to children, pinky swears are sacred). After Philip’s betrayal, the Collector is then immediately lied to by King -- and King, being a child himself, doesn’t lie well. But the Collector believes it, especially after King offers -- again -- to pinky swear. Soon after that, he’s lied to by the whole group of children, who are lying very badly. Yet, he doesn’t question it. That’s not indicative of a matured mind that is just playing at childlike behavior. He is being used, again, but doesn’t see it. Or as my friend said -- "He would not be found guilty in a court of law", haha. I want to stress that I don’t blame King or the other kids for handling this obviously very powerful and scary being in the only way they could think of in order to survive and save the people they care about. Nor do I blame King’s father for not wanting said very powerful and scary being around his infant son. But I do kind of wish anyone would try being honest with the Collector and just speaking with him directly without manipulating him. Maybe they have before, we don’t know! But the only interactions we see him have so far with people in the show are people deceiving him in order to use his power for their own goals.

"But he hates the titans and wanted them wiped out!" I have not seen any evidence of this whatsoever. The only ones who believe this are the Titan Trappers, and I thought it was pretty clear in that episode that it was Bill who had spread that story. I think it came about because the Collector knows he needs titan blood -- or a titan -- to be freed from his prison. I think Bill just ran with that and expanded it to "he wants all titans eradicated". The Collector complains about King's father, but just in an annoyed kid kind of way -- "your dumb pops wouldn't let me play with you". There was no indication that he had any hatred for him, and certainly not for titans as a whole, especially given how absolutely thrilled he was to play with King.

He absolutely shows cruelty and callousness, but to me it comes across as "bored kid with nothing to do ends up seeing everyone as playthings", and children can absolutely be cruel, especially with no one to guide and look after them. He just happens to be that bored child with phenomenal cosmic power. I have so many questions about the Collector's origins, if he even had parents, if he was supposed to be looked after by someone. Instead he's spent 400 years with Philip, quite possibly the worst person for an extremely overpowered child who was never taught to consider the consequences of his actions to be around. Philip, after all, treats those around him as disposable as well. "I think you make those things just to destroy them!"

I'm not trying to say that the Collector is a "good guy", or that he hasn't done terrible things. Dana has, after all, said that he's chaotic neutral, and I think that definitely fits with what we've been shown. All I'm trying to say is that, incredibly scary and destructive powers aside, he is a child in all the ways that matter, and one that "doesn't want to be alone anymore". I would find it deeply unsatisfying if his story were to end with him trapped once again, as I've seen some people say should happen. I'm not particularly concerned about it happening, though, as the Owl House has never let me down with a character arc.

I'm so excited to see where his goes.

#the collector #the owl house #toh collector #owl house

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femmedefandom · 2 years

Text

10 reasons I do not ship kataang

So there are about a million blogs out there with their own opinions and everyone is entitled to theirs, but this is my take on why Kataang does not work as a ship, completely separate from any other ships, except maybe Sokka x Suki and Jet x Katara. Bear in mind that it’s been a year since I’ve watched the show! Here are 10 reasons that I believe Katara and Aang should never have been in a relationship...

TLDR; Disregarding any other ship for Aang or Katara, there’s plenty of reasons not to ship them together. In fact, they might be better versions of themselves apart.

1. Age

So this one I think is pretty obvious. Aang is 12. As in, not even a teenager. And Katara is 14. For there to be a lasting relationship that starts at this age is kinda ridiculous. They are both developing as people and neither are ready for any sort of serious commitment. Also, while Katara has gone through the emotional gauntlet in regards to forcing her to mature earlier in life, Aang is a child of peacetime who has at no point shown the emotional maturity fit to be with anyone, not just Katara. Let them be dumb and have stupid crushes and say stupid things and just be kids! There may be war and life-changing events, but rushing into relationships as literal children makes me cringe. Imho, Sokka and Suki should really have been the only confirmed one at the end of the series, but I digress.

2. Ideal v. Real Katara

To follow up on my first point, I don’t see Aang as in love with Katara. I think he definitely has a crush that is more akin to imprinting on quite possibly one of the first girls he’s ever seen. Think about it. He was raised at an all male temple and the only friends he’s ever mentioned have been other boys around his age and Monk Gyatso. Had he ever seen a girl before that point? He hasn’t even mentioned the airbending girls at his sister temples! While Katara definitely would have made an impression either way as a beautiful and kind water bender, I don’t see Aang ever develop his characterization of her. In his eyes, she is his pretty “forever girl”, always at his side, offering support and a comforting word. She is an extension of what he wants. When she breaks from this mold, he is shown not to be broadening his understanding of her as a complex individual, but wanting the return of “his Katara.” He has a fixation, a “she’s mine and no one else’s” mentality.

In Aang’s eyes, Katara is not mad or fierce or frustrated or ruthless or relentless because she has never been like that with him, despite the fact that these are real facets to her personality. The one and only time you see her lash out at Aang is in one of the earlier episodes (The Waterbending Scroll). In the face of this side of Katara, he backs away, shaking his head in shock because he literal does not comprehend this side of her. Katara apologizes immediately and it never happens again.

3. Mothering DOES NOT Equal a Relationship

Katara is a very maternal person. It is unclear if this was inherently a part of her or if it is solely a manifestation of her conflicted feelings regarding the death of her own mother and the need to fill that hole in her family’s life, but in the ATLA series, she is the clear mother figure of the group. She cooks meals, does the laundry, sews clothes, shops for essentials, and bears the emotional burdens for the group as a whole. She is the steady encouragement, a helping hand, a listening ear, and willing to drop whatever is at hand if someone is in crisis mode. She is the voice of reason, the voice of hope, the voice of love and forgiveness, and the glue that holds the Gaang together. This does not discount how someone like Sokka adds to the team but the roles they play are fundamentally different. Katara is the only one I see doing jobs that are never collaborative. You don’t see Sokka learning to sew, you don’t see Toph stirring a stew, you don’t see Aang drying clothes. They accept the help that is freely given and do not recognize it as the act of service it is. They do not contribute. And as children, it makes sense, even if it is irritating to see. Katara is just as much of a kid after all.

If Aang were truly looking for a relationship with Katara, he would offer to share her burdens, physical and emotional. But you don’t see him accept any responsibility other than what is thrust upon him, and even then, he accepts with reluctance. I guess he gets frogs for her and Sokka when they’re sick but...I struggle to think of when he has helped under zero extenuating circumstances of his own volition. I can’t recall a single scene in which Katara is in emotional distress and Aang listens and comforts her with nothing but love and understanding. How often does Katara play this role?

He doesn’t offer sympathy when she first mentions that her mother was killed. He is petulant when she reunites with a man from her tribe for the first time in years because he’s not the center of attention. He is comforted by Katara and forgiven after he hides information about her father’s whereabouts. He doesn’t recognize that Katara wants to waterbend for herself and not him! For crying out, he makes HIM burning HER about HIMSELF and KATARA has to comfort AANG. There is a massive disparity of the emotional support in play. Despite Aang seeing Katara as a romantic partner, he does not indicate any desire for them to be partners in any other facet of life.

4. Power Imbalance (Real and Imagined)

So some of you might look at this and think, “what power imbalance?” Well, gentle reader, let me tell you. It might not be as extreme as Katara and a King or Tribe Leader or General or anything like that, but we’ve seen Katara give exactly zero shits in speaking her mind against men in those positions. She backtalks or mocks every single person in the show she disagrees with except for one. Who does she have difficulty contradicting or arguing against? Aang. Aang is the Avatar. He is the world’s last hope, the key to peace and the end of the war. He’s her key to learning waterbending, to maintaining her connection to her family and culture. She needs him on her side, she can’t scare him away, she can’t let him lose control, she can’t lose him otherwise the world is lost.

So we have Katara, the last water bender of the SWT, holding the dwindling remains of her close knit tribe together through sheer determination. She is bold and fearless. She does not mince words or back down from her position when she believes that she is right. I have no doubt she cares for Aang as a person, but considering that she can lose her temper with any other member of the Gaang but not with him is a glaring warning sign. You see Aang get frustrated with her several times and she never engages in a fight. She never defends herself, she looks to diffuse the tension, relax him, calm him down. I don’t like it. This is not to say that a couple that fights is better than a couple that doesn’t, but when you have one party that rants and yells and accuses and the other that just silently takes it (especially when that is not how they act with anyone else) it makes me concerned.

5. Focus on Aang’s Emotions

So this ties in pretty well with Katara’s mothering nature and their power imbalance. Their entire “romance” is shown from Aang’s side. He has a crush on her from the first, it is very obvious. In Book 1, Aang sees her as the woman he’s going to marry. In Book 2, Aang sees her as the girl he loves, his savior and his future. In Book 3, he just sees her as his. The best I can say is that before the Book 3 finale, Katara canonically refers to Aang as a little brother figure who she cares for deeply. She has never said “I like Aang” or initiated anything physical. There are no heart eyes or sparkles when she looks at Aang, she doesn’t act flustered or gaze at his lips.

The point being, the only canon love interest we see Katara have before Aang is Jet who is...not at all similar. He is tall with great hair, he is an older, non bending, charismatic vigilante with a trauma in his past the drives his actions to this day. He empathized with her loss and shared his own story. His life has been shaped by the war as well and he fell into a position where he must care for fellow orphans so that they can survive. We see for the first time Katara with a crush. And never again does she act like this.

If the writers wanted to develop the Kataang relationship, I would have appreciated seeing Katara invested in it. The most I’ve seen is her admitting Aang is a powerful bender (after Aunt Wu) and several blushes from embarrassment. (Which mind you, she also did when Aang said her hair looked weird and June though she and Zuko were a couple.)

6. Abandonment Issues v. Escapism

What it says on the tin. Who in their right mind looks at a boy whose biggest issue is running away from reality and his own responsibilities and decided to pair him with the girl with crippling abandonment issues? There’s honestly a scene where Aang is flying away and pretending he can’t hear Katara as she chases him on Appa begging him to come back and talk to her. I’m not sure how much more I can elaborate on that, because honestly, it could have nothing to do with Aang and Katara as characters. This should never happen in a ship at all. In the finale, Aang was still running away until a Deus Ex Lion Turtle and a Magic Rock which can’t really be categorized as character development. Katara needs someone who will stay by her, respect her, confront any issues head on, and talk things out.

7. Disrespect of Southern Water Tribe Culture

I admit, I’m dipping a little bit into LOK territory here, but it’s mostly ATLA. Aang is an Air Nomad and Katara is Southern Water Tribe. This is established in the first episode and several seasons show off the differences in cultures they have. And Aang’s culture is extremely important to him; he expresses on multiple occasions the Air Nomad’s values and philosophies to multiple people. This is not a bad thing. The bad thing is that Katara is very understanding and respectful of his culture and yet Aang never seems to be interested in hers.

In a way, they are parallel representations of each other. They are both the last benders of their community that has been destroyed by Fire Nation attacks. They both were robbed of the full education of their culture they could have received and cling to the stories and memories they have. The difference is that while both have a strong respect for their people, Aang believes that the Air Nomads are infallible and Katara will confront her people’s ideals if it means becoming better for her people as a whole.

In “Bato of the Water Tribe”, he doesn’t show appreciation for SWT stories, food, practices, or decoration. At the North Pole, He doesn’t connect Katara’s desperate desire to water bend to be tied to her desire to feel connected to her culture which was stolen from her. In LOK, his airbender child was raised as an airbender, and his two other children (non bender and waterbender respectively) were left to their own devices. You don’t get the sense of a multicultural family where each parent’s values are represented.

8. Conflicting Ideologies Lead to Confusing Futures (Superiority of Superficial Air Nomad Values)

Okay, I want to be clear here that Aang is not a reliable authority on Air Nomad values, and that is not his fault. Which one of us could be authorities on a religion, or our country’s government, or foreign policy at 12? Aang may have mastered Airbending, but he definitely did not have the chance to master all the Air Nomad teachings. He had the beginner stages: killing is bad -->protect your home and your people, even if you must resort to violence, other people do not follow our ways-->but each path is precious and must be respected; different is not worse, revenge is dangerous-->but sometimes confrontation is a journey you must take to settle your soul etc. His knowledge was superficial, and while it wasn’t bad per se, it was also not as nuanced or mature as a full fledged monk could have achieved.

The issue I have with Aang’s beliefs is that as a child who does not know everything, he acts like does-and the show agrees with him!-, even with evidence to the contrary. The few instances we see of Air Nomad reality conflicting with what Aang says or chooses to do really drive me crazy. It almost seems like he’s picking and choosing what to follow. Which makes me wonder why he thought he and Katara could blend their cultures (or maybe he just thought she’d bend to his) as they are incredibly different.

There are a few cases below:

1a) Vegetarianism: this one is pretty clear cut, Aang follows it to a T.

1b) The Water Tribes are shown to favor meat and vegetables are a lot harder to find in Arctic areas.

So either Katara will have to change to a veggie diet, or suffer Aang waiting for her to cook him a meal while he makes faces at the sea prunes she serves or the seal jerky she eats.

2a) No Killing: while I understand this policy of peaceful monks, Aang had seen with his own eyes the dozen or so Fire Nation soldiers Monk Gyatso had killed, so clearly there are extenuating circumstances to that. He still claims he’s never taken a life. I don’t know man, it seems like willful ignorance considering he sank a dozen ships in the North Pole full of men wearing heavy armor, he slammed a bunch of Earth Kingdom soldiers into the ground in 2x01, dropped tanks off a cliffside at the Northern Air Temple, and cut down balloons with soldiers still inside in The Black Sun Invasion.

2b)The Water Tribes are used to a harsher landscape and a harsher life. Killing is a part of it, boys are proud to become warriors and skilled hunters.

I don’t think Katara will ever force Aang to acknowledge that he’s already killed and I also don’t think that she can ever process the fact that he would think less of her if she admits that she has as well.

3a) The Air Nomads exist separated by male and female temples with no parents, but rather monks who take children into their care. This is the proper Air Nomad way, but Aang eschews that so that he can marry Katara.

3b) The SWT believes in intimate family units, most likely living in close, if not the same quarters. There is a deep connection to their neighbors and a strong sense of community.

So Aang can choose to remain a vegetarian because he doesn’t meet forces against that, he can choose to portray himself as someone who hasn’t killed a single living thing as the Air Nomads taught him, and he can choose to create a family despite growing up in an all male temple with no biological siblings or parents? Either you have Aang follow all Air Nomad ideals because he believes that that is the right way to live, or you have him grow and begin to question what he’s learned, only to reach a higher understanding that ideals are not life, only something to strive for to reach spiritual contentment.

9. Non-Consensual Kisses and Lack of Remorse

So this is the big one. Earlier I wrote that Katara does not initiate physical contact and if you thought of Kataang’s kisses, congrats! When I was a kid watching this show for the first time, I thought poor Aang, why doesn’t Katara admit that she loves him too! Because I was a child who believed what the narrative was telling me. As an adult, I can see just how twisted it was.

The first non-con kiss (between and 12 and 14 year old in a children’s show about magical elements in a fight to end a war) was before the Black Sun Invasion. It’s the mid-season climax, we’ve gathered all the friends we made along the way to fight against the indomitable Fire Nation and who knows if we’ll all survive? The eclipse is coming and they’re all getting into position, and Aang impulsively leans forward, kisses Katara, and flies away before she can react. She blushes, looking lost, but snaps to attention as the porthole opens and she’s called into the sub for their initial breach. She has a battle to prepare for.

The second is after watching a sensationalized play about themselves, with the actors declaring that Aang wasn’t the Avatar’s girl, but that she and Zuko had a torrid love affair in the Crystal Catacombs! So enraged by Actress Katara refusing to be “the Avatar’s girl” and say that he “was like a little brother” before hooking up with Actor Zuko, Aang storms out of the theatre. Katara immediately goes to comfort him of course, and he says he’s so angry he would be in the vengeful omnipotent god state of righteous anger if his chakras weren’t blocked at the mention of her with someone else and then he takes the opportunity to bring up the kiss they had weeks ago and never talked about to assume that there were meant to be together forever. Personally, if I were Katara and in love with Aang, I would take this chance to say, “I’m so glad you said that, because with everything that’s happened, I didn’t think it was ever the right time to bring it up. I was so surprised when you kissed me and then we were fighting and everything went all wrong so fast and I wasn’t sure if that kiss meant you liked me or if you thought we were going to die!” Then Aang could say, “of course it meant I liked you, I love you Katara. And I’d really like to kiss you again, if that’s okay?” Then Katara would smile, lean in and they’d share their first real kiss.

Obviously, that’s not what happened. Aang thinks they were meant to be together after one surprise kiss that Katara did not participate in and never brought up again for weeks until he did himself. Katara evades the question, not making eye contact, saying I don’t know, it’s not the right time. As a woman, this sounds like a gentle way of letting someone down. Aang, being a monk who imprinted like a baby duck on Katara and always has his needs catered to, tries to kiss her again. This time he is immediately rejected and she runs away. Instead of focusing on Katara and her feelings of confusion and betrayal by her close friend, the narrative focuses on Aang and how he screwed up.

There is no resolution or apology before Kataang’s finale kiss. Aang never has to apologize to her or earn her forgiveness.

10. Weakening of Katara and Aang’s Character Arcs

So everything I’ve said before probably sounds like I hate Aang. I don’t! I just really don’t like who he becomes when he’s wrapped up in a “romance” with Katara. I’m not a great fan of how Kataang changes Katara either. It’s like being together stunts their growth, their personal arcs stagnate and they don’t become the characters they could’ve been.

Aang, under Katara cautious hold, does not seem to mature and stays entrenched in his own ideals and the knowledge that what he desires is most important. He learns to expect Katara to follow his lead, he’s the Avatar after all.

Katara, with Aang, stifles herself. He’s the hero after all, and he loves her, of course she’ll help him with his Acolyte school. She doesn’t know how to airbend or anything but he needs her support. He’s done so much for her, it’s the least she can do.

Think about Aang, an airbender child thrust into a world a century ahead caught up the last stand of a war with a seemingly forgone conclusion. He travels the world, experiences other cultures, broadens his view, saves those in need, creates friends who become family, and learns how to find tales and grandchildren of the Air Nomads. They are Nomads after all, I’m sure some survived. I bet the Fire Nation has Air Nation documents saved in some vault somewhere too. With Katara, firm but fair, and Toph, blunt but caring, Sokka, goofy but reliable, and Zuko, awkward but sincere, he can grow into the fully realized Avatar he was meant to be. (Suki can come to, I love that lady!) Without his fixation on Katara, he can let her go (while still loving her as a friend) and master the Avatar State. Maybe the Guru would even have the obscure knowledge from Wan Shi Tong’s library about taking away bending so Aang doesn’t run away before the battle and he knows what to do. The final scene can be of all of them together, safe and looking forward to the future. Later, he can marry one of his Air Acolytes, or even create a harem if the goal is the most airbender babies as soon as possible. For all we know, that’s how the monks did it!

Katara would be free to grow, unchained from caring for Aang like a mother or only being “the Avatar’s girl” or birth-giver of his children. She could embrace her position as a SWT ambassador in every nation or go home and help rebuild her community now that the attacks have stopped. She will master the healing arts because she’s a perfectionist but she will be known first and foremost as a fighter. She will crush injustice when she sees regardless of where it is. She has the power so she swears to use it to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. She is a fighter, an no one will hold her back. As the SWT woman who found the Avatar, part of the team who dismantled oppressive militaristic regime of the Fire Nation. She is daughter of the chief, friend of the Avatar, sister to Sokka the legendary swordmaster, sworn sisters with a Kyoshi warrior and the inventor of metalbending, and close friends with the newly enthroned Firelord. But more than that, she is a hero in her own right. And when she speaks, people listen. She affects change on a global scale so no child has to grow up like her or her brother or Jet or all the orphans lost in the tides of war. And she’ll get a statue because come on!

#atla #anti kataang #aang criticism #pro katara

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onomatopiya · 1 year

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piya’s year in review!

thank you to the lovely @yvesdot for the template, this is such a fun idea!! i’ll include more in-depth elaboration for each month’s little snip under the cut, but first some general thoughts:

this has been a big year for me! these past few years i’ve been pretty stagnant in my development as a writer, and this year i’ve not only evolved, but i’ve opened myself up to having more projects and overall improved on the quality of my craft. (also! i started out having one (1) main project that is now shelved and now i have five. which is insane)

In 2023, I really want to focus on publishing short fiction! I’ve gotten a few short stories under my belt now, and I want to put myself out there. Also, I want to be more organized with my time and try to 1) Finish draft two of Revolution, Retribution (my main sci fi book) + 2) Finish my first draft for The Voids We Fill (my coming-of-age aro book).

and now onto the month by month breakdown!

JANUARY // REVOLUTION, RETRIBUTION

I started proper work on my second ever novel writing project this January! Revolution, Retribution is my main wip atm, following two twins at the center of conspiracies and revenge plots in a hypercapitalist society. January honestly feels like years ago but overall it was a productive month.

FEBRUARY // REVOLUTION, RETRIBUTION

During February, I got heavy into plotting out RR once I realized it would be a big project. I want to say I shelved my first project around this time? Hm. I had been having ideas for other novels but my attachment to that first project was impeding my development so. Kill your darlings etc etc. And I’m much happier now! And my projects have matured with me :)

MARCH // ROTTEN ROOTS

Short story era! I kept up with working on RR naturally but Rotten Roots also happened during March. I had lots of fun with that one (it was admittedly written partially as a joke that I took too far) and it was really nice to work on short fiction. I may or may not edit this one and submit it somewhere! Not sure about that yet 👁️👁️

APRIL // REVOLUTION, RETRIBUTION

April took us back to the old RR grind! I was super excited this month bc I hit 25k on the draft 😌. Which. Four months into the year and I’d already written more than the entirety of last year! That’s growth babey!

MAY // STORMKISSER

Naturally I still worked on RR during May, but I did get a small short story done too! Stormkisser was a good exercise in writing romance as someone who always hits their written relationships with an aspec beam. Also, I graduated high school in May and finished Act I of RR! Double win :)

JUNE // THE REFLECTION SMILES BACK

I LOVED this flash piece so much actually <3 I love liminal spaces and I was like “hm, I need to write more transgenderism into my short fiction” so I did. And it was great. I spent most of June working on in-depth plot stuff for Act II of RR, which was slow going because I realized that I’d screwed up my timelines, but it was nonetheless progress.

JULY // ECHO CHAMBER

While still plotting stuff, I also wrote a small snippet of my queerplatonic love story, Echo Chamber! I didn’t write too much this month because most of it was spent traveling, but I did still get some stuff done just before I left the country.

AUGUST // REVOLUTION, RETRIBUTION

In August, I started my first semester of uni! Which is bonkers insane! I started drafting Act II of RR, which was very nice because I had MISSED writing in the RR doc. I feel like my writing matured very quickly over this period which is such a good feeling to have—I’m actually proud of some of my writing now, which hasn’t been the case historically.

SEPTEMBER // THE BALLAD OF THE GOLD-PALMED PROPHET

In September, I feel like RR hit a bit of a roadblock? This semester was a bit rough overall, both because of my mental health and because a lot of my coursework was A Lot. However! I did write a backstory piece for one of Lamplight’s (my na fantasy featuring cryptids, trans people, and gods with teeth) main characters, a church prophet toeing the line between duty and the truth. And that piece has honestly been one of my favorites this year!

OCTOBER // THE FOOTNOTE

In October I had more of the same issue with RR. So I let myself write what my brain was wanting to write and write another backstory piece, this time for the aforementioned church prophet’s gay little priest who is soo devoted to him. And I had a good time, even if that wasn’t as “productively” spent as possible (and productivity culture is a sham anyway)

NOVEMBER // DEATH OF A POLTERGEIST

In November I did decide to dedicate time to RR! At the same time, though, I did realize that my writing had grown beyond what I’d written way back in May. Which is good! Growth is good! But I kept thinking of more stuff I wanted to implement in RR that I simply couldn’t do with the current draft. I wasn’t enjoying writing very much but I did want to push through anyway. I did also write a short story that I’m working on submitting somewhere (featuring ghosts and self-acceptance)!!

DECEMBER // LAMPLIGHT

In December, I made a Decision. Regarding RR, I decided to move onto draft two. I already had more than half of the draft written, and I’d outlined Act III, but I wanted to enjoy writing the book. And currently I’m about done with a new rough outline and I’m trying to finish a chapter-by-chapter :) The excerpt above is from a Lamplight prologue I wrote as a warm-up exercise!

#that’s a wrap!#writeblr #writblr #creative writing #writers on tumblr #year in review #*mine

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jeskoholic · 1 year

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A Little Piece of You Chapter 13: The Mending and the Melancholy

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: X & Y

Word count: 6,804

Tags: Male OC, Angst, Mystery girl, College, Breakup (?)

Enjoy!

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“So, after you and Wonyoung broke up, you never had a chance to talk again Jae-in? She never cared to even explain things to you, especially clarify what happened after you two broke up?” Bae Joohyun asked after a short while of silence, her attention split on consuming another one of Jae-in’s bought tarts and keeping her fury within. Her statement was met with a quick shake of the young man’s head as he then proceeded to give an answer.

“We… we actually talked again, although I would not count our next encounter to be an explanation of sorts. Of course I was still bitter towards her, and I don’t think anyone can blame me for that, so I ceased reaching out to her for a good couple of months. However, she surprisingly contacted me last semester out of nowhere. I honestly forgot about her already at that point so I’m surprised she even contacted me.”

Joohyun raised an eyebrow and glared at her brother.

“She did that? Well, what did she tell you then? What did she want of you? Did she even care to give you an explanation?”

“Actually no… she was… I don’t know what’s going on her head but she wanted to talk to me again… even invited me to go clubbing with her and promised a couple of drinks here and there. I just backed off because I know that she’s still dating the same guy from before, even above the reason that I don’t want to have anything to do with her. It would look so bad once I kept on talking to her especially when the guy finds out what she’s doing behind his back.”

Joohyun scoffed.

“The audacity; do you still have this Jang Wonyoung’s number, Jae-in? Do you still know where she lives?”

“I really don’t…. why?”

“She invited you to go clubbing, right? I’ll give her the clubbing she wants. I’m going to head there and golf-club her house’s windows right now! She was the one who asked for it, Jae-in!”

“Yah, noona, that’s not necessary… it’s been a long time and I’m not even talking to her; nor would I imagine me doing that for the next couple of years. It’s okay. I don’t intend to do so. I’ve moved on.”

“That still isn’t enough!” the step-sister raised her voice as her face dangerously turned wolfish. “My co-workers always criticize me for being too keen on boys, but if there’s one thing that I hate more than that are girls who are overly too flirty! She needs to be taught how to get her hands away from you!”

“Noona…”

“Yah, if you’re going to pick another girl who’s just like Wonyoung, I’m going to kick you off of my house,” she said with both her eyebrows raised. “Yoon Jae-in, I mean it. Your heart is way too precious to just give on people who would readily break it, you pabo. Stay single for a while and find the best girl for you, okay?”

“I… I get it noona… t-thank you.”

“And she better be pretty. I should be your standard, you small bean. Your next girlfriend should be equal or even better than your own sister, and then at least I could be confident that she can take care of such a fragile heart like you. She better be serious too. If you’re at the same age and she’s still way too playful, don’t even consider her. You need someone who is mature, not someone who’s still thinking of playing games.”

“Yah, if I were to put you as my standard, noona, I might die single because no one else could come close to you.”

She raised her fork as if aiming to smack Jae-in with it.

“Hey, if that’s the case you’re not going to die alone, you pabo! If you end up not getting married, it’s not like I’m leaving you here! Of course I’ll be watching your back! I’m being dead serious here, Jae-in-ssi. You need to be picky. You know, if only it would not turn out to be weird, I would have agreed to get married to you just so that you won’t fall to the wrong hands. I won’t even mind if that was the case.”

“Yah noona that’s so weird to say!”

“’So weird’ my butt, at least I know how to take care of you, you stupid little bean! I mean it. Next time that someone likes you, consider if they would even pass my approval. Just put that thought on the back of your head and then you’re going to get better people. I promise you.”

Bae Joohyun finally stood up from where she was seated, brushing her long shirt off of crumbs while moving to pick up the empty plate beside Jae-in, but not before moving to give her younger brother a hug. He then responded by placing his head over her narrow waist as she stood beside his sitting figure.

“And one more thing,” she continued while Jae-in hugged her in return. “Make sure that when you give promises to people that they would promise on the same way, okay? You never mentioned anything about Wonyoung’s promise to take care of you. It was only you who promised to do so, Jae-in, so I guess that’s why you two turned up the way you did. Please don’t do that next time. I don’t want anyone breaking your heart. I’ll break their souls if they do.”

Wait, did she really not…?

“Well, you better get some rest while I take care of this plate,” Jae-in’s elder sister said as she finally broke off of the hug from him. “I remembered that I had to send a document for a client as well; it almost flew off of my head because of how occupied I am with your story.”

“I will do that, noona. I’ll just finish some dues.”

“Don’t you ever talk to that Wonyoung again okay?” she said in reply while walking towards the door, pointing a red-nailed index finger towards Jae-in’s direction. “Don’t even imagine that I’m not serious when I said I’m going to kick you off.” And that statement earned a laugh from Jae-in.

“I won’t noona, I promise. Please take care!”

A smile was etched on Jae-in’s face as Joohyun disappeared through his door frame. He eyed Jang Wonyoung’s letter for a moment, the thought of even chucking it to the bin was not even entertained by the slightest. After all, he already moved on from her, and even managed to keep the letter’s message concealed from him for years. He figured there was no real reason to break that streak.

He also knew that Joohyun had an ounce of humour in every statement that she said for him, but there was no stopping all of it from being true. Somehow his misgivings were gone that night with the short conversation; allowing himself to lull back into his and Wonyoung’s story gave a huge light on his current situation with Jeon Soyeon. He mentally thanked that one conversation with Shinwon as well, as it was the one that ignited everything up to that very point.

And then he heard footsteps coming from the hallway outside of his room. There was no other real person whom it could belong to, and so he prepared himself for whatever his older sister has to say as she seemed to be rushing on her way back.

Joohyun’s figure immediately showed up again on the door a couple of seconds after that. The plate was already gone from her hands and he could see a couple of water droplets from the porcelain-like skin of her forearms. Her expression was quite shocked, as if just realizing something on the way back.

“Yah, Jae-in-ssi! What do you mean that Jang Wonyoung was your ‘first in literally everything’?!”

---

Surprisingly, that night’s sleep was one of the best I had so far. I found it ironic that that was even the case even right after the night with Soyeon; even more so after that crap ton of explanation that I had to explain to noona with the conversation. It was one of my busiest days, emotion-wise. Regardless, everything that came after that night was amazing; it shed new light on things and I was able to steady myself for the flight ahead. Being able to voice my deepest feelings for Jeon Soyeon to Shinwon was already a plus, and having to recall things with my ex, Wonyoung, and having finally tell it to someone who really cared… boy, it does not get any better than that. On the case of Soyeon, I’m glad that it was finally out. I would have unintentionally made myself suffer more for stalling unnecessarily because of my pride. I have my mind set on one path: I need to tell her the truth.

I need to let go of Soyeon.

The only question left was how am I supposed to do it?

As a couple of days passed, I was merely just thinking and debating perhaps every possible way I could convey it to her. I need to plan this carefully because I am bound to have a reaction of some form from Soyeon’s side of the spectrum. Probably a slap, her lashing out, her screaming at me, punching me…. whatever; I have to prepare myself for those kinds of things. It would be better for her to hurt me physically in that manner than me inciting a mental dent in the long run. It was, for the collective good. Good news is I got things covered up for the most part.

The part that I really don’t know was the most important as well.

I’m glad that Shinwon actually has my back on this. He’s right; I should not let this become another Wonyoung situation. But then… what exactly would Yoon Jae-in do?

Do I just blatantly tell her the truth and prepare for what’s to come?

Ignore every ounce of overthinking and head on, with a ‘fuck-it’ attitude?

Do I need to consider how it would affect the new friend group with how I’m planning to tell of these to her?

But then again… at the end of the day, they are my friends. If Soyeon would lash out and stay off of the group for a while (and it’s not like it’s surprising if she ever did that), it would be normal. It would be weird if she would not. Something was telling me that if Soyeon would cause something; a rift that would tear us apart, then so be it. I’m sure my real friends would be there for me even if it would cause such a huge scandal between us. They would understand why I’m doing it.

I really need to tell her how I feel because it’s starting to get more complicated as time continues to pass by.

I need to man up and stop fucking overthinking, because that is where the mess would begin to come. Go in there, Yoon Jae-in, tell her and then go out.

This whole self-conditioning thing is weird to do when I’m at the train heading to school. Ditching the bus for a faster, more expensive way of travel was not ideal, especially when the station was so much further from North Line compared to when I would board a bus. However, I figured that that morning stroll was my reward for finally piecing it out for my own. I really feel lighter today more than anything.

Now, I need to tell Soyeon how I feel before the week ends. I would have less time to overthink if I do it that way.

---LATER THAT DAY---

The skies have begun to darken as I would have expected. A huge blanket of nimbus covered each and every space of a once perfectly blue horizon earlier in the morning. Now, I’m glad that I decided to take the longer route this morning as my plans for an afternoon walk would have been ruined with the impending rain. I found it really weird that this resembled that day years ago when Wonyoung broke up with me. It’s just that crazy.

Anyway, I followed the normal schedule of the approaching week ahead with my final 4 PM class like usual, Social Sciences; admittedly one of the few minor engineering subjects I really learned to enjoy as the semester progressed, quite next to Modern Ethics and Philosophy.

A huge flash of light blasted through the room’s windows followed by the loud sound of thunder causing my own professor to take a pause with the lesson. The intensity of the boom was enough to cause a couple of girly squeals to come from the outdoor hallway. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the skies began to turn even darker grey until the huge, almost instant shower of rain was met from the outside. The teacher resumed the discussion, albeit ocassionally distracted by the strong downpour as well as the thundering from outside.

Minutes passed and it was already close to 5 PM when another flash cut through the sky. I could tell that it was closer from the building this time, as the booming thunder followed shortly right after that.

“I think even the skies are telling me to dismiss all of you,” the teacher, Mr Lee, said with a chuckle. “I won’t argue with natural order then. We’re just ten minutes off, so I guess I’d just give those minutes to you. Please prepare your umbrellas because it’s raining hard outside. Thank you for listening; Class dismissed!” he concluded with a curt bow.

“Thank you sir!” the class echoed in unison as we all watched him exit through the front door first before the rest of us. Then, the corridor was immediately flooded by people coming in and out of their respective classrooms. The fact that some had their wet umbrellas with them caused a lot of water to spill down the floor and mix with the dust and dirt, already adding another factor of difficulty with the already cramped space. However, this development was not really new to me as it was always the case especially on this part of NLIU.

Anyway, several minutes later I finally managed to work my way out of the crowded mess and walk through the huge hallway. I still have no idea what else I should do now that it was raining hard outside. My original plan was to stay a bit in Naevis, but again with the rain, I am sure that there would be a lot of people staying back there having the same idea. Heading to Metro station to do some window shopping and kill some time before I head home was the automatic second choice. Obviously it would be a lot more complicated to traverse there by foot at this rate. So, just because of a sudden downpour, all of my plans for this afternoon dissolved into thin air. It is what it is. I certainly cannot do anything about that.

Well, now I’m just stuck at the premises of the University with nothing else to do. Going home was a definite option, but for everyone else that had their class ending on this hour I’m pretty sure they have the same thoughts. Taxis and bus stops would be flooded and I don’t think I want to wedge myself onto that. It takes too much effort for minimal results. How else would you walk around the city if the rain simply won’t let up?

As much as it was weird to admit, I wish that I have class on this time. I’d rather stay behind the school’s rooms and let the time pass normally than get stuck without anything else to do.

With that, I decided to head to the place that I was absolutely sure would be empty save for a couple of people; the very same place that gave me sleep when I was on those terrible mood swings: the University library. It definitely was better than staying anywhere else. Plus, the silence ought to be really soothing with the current mood that I’m having.

Of course, the only thing that was really annoying about it is the long flight of stairs. At this point, I would even call them a plight.

Anyway, after a seemingly long session of walking up the NLIU Library’s aforementioned stairs, I reached the fifth, top-most floor of the already tall building. It was this huge, twin overlooking mezzanines looming over tall book shelves, with long and spacious tables arranged along within the mezzanine’s perimeter. As expected, the rain literally deleted the beautiful scenery that was Seoul from the rest of the views of the inside world, settling the surrounding window landscape with a mere, clean slate of white and grey clouds along with the occasional thunder.

I walked around the reading area, scanned the tables here in there for someone that I potentially know. It was not because I was looking for someone to keep me company, but I did that just so I’ll be able to hide from them. I really am not in such a mood to converse and I just wanted to embrace the quietness of the place. Luckily, it was not even necessary for me to even look around that much given there are not much people who were staying in this place, sadly. I feel like I still could see a couple of the same people that I saw here from before: architecture students busy with their plates, med students doing outlines of their laboratory reports, and some engineering students who just wanted some sleep for the most part. Well, the place is soothing so I think it was just perfect for what they wanted to do.

I continued to scan the place in search for a good spot, which automatically equated to the spot close to the window. I was already making my way there passing by a table with a girl occupied on writing on her notebook. After passing her, I saw a glimpse of the books she had with her and noticed a couple of engineering books that I recognized, stacked amongst piles and piles of other books about chemistry. The spot was already waiting for my arrival when I felt my phone vibrate softly on my pocket.

BZZZZT

With that, I toned down my walking to fish the phone up, eventually going to an immediate stop as I read the chat.

It was from Soyeon.

The flash of her name alone was enough to make my heart jump.

Soyeon: (Just now) Hey, are you free this afternoon by any chance, Jae-in? Our prof posted that he would not come to school because of a mishap, but it just so happened that I’m already here as well and I can’t go home because of the rain. I forgot my umbrella. I was wondering if you’re still at NLIU and maybe we can hang out… it has been a while since we saw each other. I really miss you already. Please reply if you’re free, okay?

That moment that I read her text, my heart immediately skipped a beat.

Things suddenly hit me like a truck as this felt like a very perfect opportunity. Soyeon was free, and so was I.

This might be the perfect night to call things off once and for all. The fact that everything aligned on that manner seemed to make sense. The opportunity was already there.

Should I grab it?

Should I do this now without prior planning in my head?

I promised myself that I would tell her of everything as soon as I could. That was the penultimate conclusion of my conversations with Shinwon and Joohyun-noona. I even told myself that I would do this as soon as I could, preventing any further overthinking that could possibly hinder my already solid-decision. That way, I could just tell her of everything and anything else that would follow would require nothing else from me but endurance to whatever her reaction would be.

You got this Jae-in. The heavens have given their permission; one sliver of time was all I needed.

You need to do this now. Don’t waste the time given to you.

Jae-in: Let’s meet at the cafeteria. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.

After standing in place for what felt like minutes, I finally gathered myself and gave one last look at the spot I intended to occupy for the time being. There was a part of regret of not being able to sit on such a perfect spot, especially on such a beautiful and cozy rain like this one. However, with the thought of the event that would follow weighed greater on my shoulders. My blood was rushing all over my body, perhaps made worse with the sudden surge of adrenaline. This was it.

I turned a complete 180 from my position while still occupied on my reply to Soyeon. I was about to briskly head back towards the entrance of the mezzanine when…

WHAM

---

The sound of numerous books falling towards the floor was the sound that greeted him as soon as he felt himself bump into someone. It would turn out that his rush to leave the library was met with the girl he passed by previously, eager to replace the borrowed books on their respective shelves. It just so happened that the direction she chose was the same route Jae-in would use to exit the said mezzanine, inevitably having them both to cross paths right into each other.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry,” he said in panic and in complete embarrassment, being the first one to help gather the books for the said girl. All signs of rush was dropped as they were immediately replaced with embarrassment. “I am really sorry; I didn’t see you there.”

“I-it’s fine… I didn’t think that you’d move as well,” the girl answered with a soft voice that was almost a whisper. It was soothing already on the very first impression.

Once done, Yoon Jae-in brought the books back up and stacked them on the nearby table to align them properly for her. True enough, they were the same books he recognized from earlier, only registering the other books then by being focused on Chemistry and Molecular Theory, along with the Engineering Books he knew.

“D-do you need help putting them back?” he asked, pointing towards the stack of books rather shyly. “I-I can help you put them back if you want…. I’m really sorry for that.”\

Why am I so tense?

“N-no… I can manage. Besides, you seemed to be in a hurry. It’s okay. I would not have borrowed them if I didn’t think that I could bring them back on my own… t-thank you for the offer though…”

“Are you sure? I can spare a couple of minutes… I mean, I really feel bad for toppling these all over,” he replied as he lifted the couple of books up to return back to her waiting arms.

“I could not ask so much of you. Thank you for—“

The woman’s voice trailed off as she received the stack, unintentionally getting both hers and Jae-in’s hands in contact from under. The sudden warm sensation of a man’s skin definitely startled her, causing her face to turn towards Yoon Jae-in. There was a short flash that occurred on that very moment. Maybe it was from the lightning, or maybe both of them merely imagined it coming. With her raising her face up, it unintentionally brought her face close to his. That was only the time that Jae-in saw the face of the girl, all in close detail as he could possibly have.

Her beauty was definitely simple, yet seemingly radiated a hint of elegance. She had a plain, small face, V-shaped jawline, heart shaped lips, small nose, and an innocent expression that only helped her already beautiful visage. Despite wearing the standard green jacket of her department, her fair skin tone suited the exclusive aura of elegance she had. However, her face and her smile certainly were kind and warm; it even felt that she was the one apologetic for bumping Jae-in in the first place.

“T-Thank you for picking these up,” she said once again in that soft tone. It was her time to by shy now as it oozed out of every syllable. Jae-in certainly did not think that her already soft voice could even go softer. “Y-you’re in a hurry right?”

Jae-in blushed uncontrollably as his ears flushed red. The girl averted her gaze from his as well.

“Oh, right, right; sorry again. Please study hard,” Jae-in said as he panicked internally once again, finally giving the girl a short bow before crossing her for the exit. He left of embarrassment in attempt to conceal his flaming ears as well as his fast-beating heart; quite eager to descend from the huge tower of a library and finally make his way to the task at hand.

I need to get to Soyeon now. Sheesh, that was so embarrassing.

---

After that rather embarrassing encounter with another student, Jae-in then joined the river of students from the outside and took another route towards the school cafeteria, obviously strategized and carefully planned to prevent him from ever opening his umbrella. He rushed all across the roofed buildings of the campus, mixing with students of different departments just so he can arrive without further stress and using the longer route to shake his tension off. Soon enough, he found his way into the school’s main building and into the right wing, where the wide and spacious cafeteria was located. Due to the lateness of the afternoon as well as the on-going storm on the outside, the place was mostly empty aside from some students eating as well as staff members.

He scanned the surroundings curtly and immediately found the figure of Jeon Soyeon waiting at the far corner with an eager expression on her face along with an empty cup of tteukbokki in front of her.

“Hi Jae-in…!” Soyeon greeted with a wide smile, waving towards his figure as he approached with a heavy heart. As soon as the young man was within her reach, Soyeon moved to press her small frame against his with a sincere and tight hug.

“H-hi Soyeonnie… umm, can we please sit for a bit?” he awkwardly said, returning her hug as well. “I… I want to talk to you about something.”

Soyeon held his hand and pulled him towards the table, taking a seat next to him right after. She then kept her hands tightly clamped with Jae-in’s, seemingly expecting something bright to come from him. He’s already not fond of how enthusiastic she is.

“I’ve never saw you so eager to see me! Is there something wrong or did you just miss me that much, my Jae-in?”

Come on, Jae-in… keep it together. You got this. Calm down and tell her the truth.

“S-Soyeon… I wanted… I actually w-wanted to see you… there’s something that… something that I’ve been thinking for a while now… umm… it’s… it’s about us…”

The young woman’s face lit up the moment that she heard the word ‘us’ escape from Jae-in’s own mouth. However, she seemed to have caught on the exhausted mood and stuttered speech of Jae-in that her face shifted to a look of concern. Every ounce and attempt to even tease Jae-in was swept out of the waters.

“Are you okay Jae-in? You look pale… oh my god, even your hands are cold. Did something happen?”

BOOM

A bright flash followed by a loud thunder was seen from the outside, effectively distracting Soyeon from Jae-in as she moved to see through the windows.

“Gosh, the rain’s really pouring down hard here. This is such a bad timing to not bring an umbrella.”

“Soyeon,” Jae-in began once again as soon as he regained his composure. “I have… I have something to tell you… sorry for interrupting but… this is something that has been bugging me for a long time… I… I’ve wanted to tell this to you…”

Shit, I’m so fucking nervous. This cold weather is definitely not helping out.

Soyeon stared blankly at him and then supplied her with a shy smile as well as two raised eyebrows.

“Is… Is this about what I think it is, Jae-in?”

“This… this is… yes; this is about what happened after Skylight… I think I have a response for what you asked me before. Soyeon… I have an answer already…”

“Is that true? Oh my god… what is it? I’m eager to know what it is!”

“I know that… I know that we’ve sort of been together after that, right? We… we acted so sweet together and… we’ve done a couple of things that normally only dating people would do. Umm… after your confession everything just aligned ourselves and we… we just treated each other as if we’re dating. If anything, only an official label was left for that to work out as it should have… Would you agree that with how the situation went on, the decision seemed to dial down from my end, right? The way that this brought us… it boils down to me making the decision…”

She nodded and spoke: “Of course… I intended it to be that way, Jae-in-ssi… I made it clear to you since then that I was really serious with my feelings for you, to the extent that I am even going way out of line at times just to prove that I really love you… umm… oh my… I’m getting nervous with where this is going…”

Soyeon rubbed her hands with his. Jae-in in turn, breathed in heavily.

“Soyeon… for the past weeks and months that you’ve told me your feelings, you proved to me very much how serious you were to me. I already felt everything that you needed me to feel… every kiss, every hug, every moment we shared together… I felt that you were really that much into me. There’s no denying that. I’ve never felt so appreciated for the longest time ever and I will forever be grateful and flattered that one Jeon Soyeon even took a liking into me. You were such a talented individual, appreciative and very loving as well, which is why I don’t think that I am even deserving of the attention that you’re giving…

“I’m sorry Soyeon, but I don’t think we should continue this… this thing that’s going between us. I don’t think I can return the same feelings that you’ve been giving me.”

The world might as well have frozen for the couple of them as silence shrouded the succeeding minutes. Jae-in sat in his place thinking of what to follow to that, yet also debating whether to not add another statement to the mix while Soyeon digested what he just said. The young Korean woman’s expression was not grim; it was merely just a blank stare that felt a thousand times scarier than if she would have glared at him. He even thought of repeating the statement in case she did not hear it the first time, and he could never have been more relieved that he did not do that. The tension was so high up between them that it would only be a matter of time before someone would eventually break.

This time, it was Jae-in… and perhaps he never should have spoken up after denying his chance the first time.

“Soyeon… Please don’t get me wrong… I appreciate each and every single thing that you did. I would have loved to stay if that was the case but… I can’t keep up. I can’t just let myself wake up every night to respond to you, to go out with you in the middle of the evening… I have denied a lot of your invitations to drink because… because you know that I just can’t wedge it on my schedule because of a lot of things.

“Can’t you see…? There are a lot of things that we do not agree upon, and a lot of those involve things that I normally do in my everyday life. I don’t think that I can let those things go just yet… Lately, I feel like I’m not being myself because… because I’m letting you drag me too much into situations… I sorry… just—“

“Is this a joke?” Soyeon said with a straight face; her eyes starting to get glassy. “You’re kidding me, right Jae-in?”

“I’m not… actually I am—“

“I never asked you to do those things in return, Jae-in… I did everything because I wanted to prove my love for you! I did those things because this is who I really am, and I wanted to show you the purest form of me that I could show, why can’t you see that?”

“Hey, it’s not… it’s not that I did not see those… I told you; I felt everything... I felt how serious you were to me, and Hongseok and the others were a testament to everything that happened…”

“Why are you ending us then? If that’s the case then why the fuck are you letting me go?”

“Because… I feel like things are starting to get out of hand. I feel like we’re slowly starting to do things that only normal couples would do… some of which are even too overboard. I would lie if I did not say that I did not like any of those things, but I feel like… I want to save it soon. I’m being too overwhelmed and I want to stop it before it even gets worse… I… I’m not yet ready for any of these…”

“Was… was this because of what happened in the private room? Did you really think that… that we’re about to do it then? Was this because I’m being too close and too stuck with skinship that you’re feeling uncomfortable? Tell me, Jae-in! Tell me what’s wrong with me and I will change everything just to be with you! Tell me what I would do so that you can give this doomed relationship a chance, please!”

“Soyeon please… even if I wanted to, that would be too unfair for your end. I don’t want to give you the wrong ideas; to give you hope that there’s something at the end of this tunnel… I’m not yet ready. I don’t think I’m in the condition to head on a relationship right now; I hope you understand.”

“Then everything that I did for you was all for nothing?”

“Soyeon, please,” he said before reaching out his hands to hold both of hers once again. However, Soyeon already anticipated the action and immediately withdrew them as soon as she felt the contact of skin. “I’m doing this to be fair to you, otherwise—“

“The only thing being unfair h-here is you! I’m all i-in it for you, Yoon Jae-in, why the fuck can’t y-you see that? I thought you said before that you wanted t-this but why are you doing this to me n-now?! Why are you already l-letting us go before we even get a chance to b-be a thing?!” Her voice said, shaking with emotion.

“Soyeon… I’m not yet ready. I… I have a lot of things to prioritize and do. I don’t think, with a good conscience, that you deserve to be treated like this. I don’t want you to hope and wait for something to happen when I can’t promise you anything in the near future. I just want you to be free and not be confined with me… there are a lot of people there. I’m sure there are a lot of guys better than me. I’m sorry Soyeon, but it’s not yet time…”

That was the time that Soyeon finally let her tears trail down her cheek.

“I h-hate you, Yoon J-jae-in,” she snapped, this time glaring at him with a pair of teary eyes trying to keep her anger within.

“I’m sorry Soyeon… I really am. I just can’t do it this time because of my responsibilities and—“

“TO HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR DAMN RESPONSIBILITIES,” Soyeon roared as she finally reached her tipping point. Her angry voice echoed across the small cafeteria and took the attention of the few students and onlookers while she shouted at Jae-in with tears on her eyes. “YOU SHOULD’VE SAID ‘NO’ BACK THEN. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE RETURNED MY KISSES WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE! YOU MADE ME BELIEVE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING AT THE END OF THIS GODDAMN THING JAE-IN! IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE ME THEN YOU SHOULD’VE SAID BEFORE I WASTED ALL MY DAMN TIME ON YOU! I HATE YOU JAE-IN! I HATE YOU!”

In that instant, Soyeon immediately stood up and supplied Jae-in with one deadly glare. As a reflex, Jae-in stood as well and tried to calm her down by attempting to hold her hand, yet it only made her state worse. Soyeon immediately swatted his extended hand with astounding force, slapping it off of her. Then, to his surprise, Jeon Soyeon ran towards the cafeteria door without an ounce of warning, taking her bag with her and exited towards the raging downpour from the outside.

There she was, on the middle of the rain and thunder, she ran without a care in the world even ignoring the constant splash and flow of water on her face and clothes. She braved the wet grounds of the university taking any means necessary to distance her from Jae-in.

Jae-in, on the other hand, immediately fished his bag and umbrella and immediately followed Soyeon to the outside. He chased her against the continouos gush of rain, his umbrella keeping the majority of his face dry while he ran for her amidst the slippery floor. Soon, he finally reached Soyeon’s drenched figure outside of the school’s Medicine Department building.

With the rush of adrenaline on his body, Yoon Jae-in reached for Soyeon’s arm and tugged it to get her attention. It was effective after all; Soyeon finally stopped on her tracks and turned her figure towards him; her face flashing with anger as her hair, clothes, and face were all soaked with rain and possibly even remnants of her tears.

“Soyeon, please,” Jae-in said as he brought the umbrella over the pair of their figures. “Don’t do it like this. Don’t go towards the rain like this. I know that you hate me now, but please, take it. It’s the last thing I can do for you. I’m really sorry…”

Soyeon gently approached Jae-in, and with a swift movement of her arm she smacked the umbrella out of his grasp, leaving the both of them to be engulfed by the heavy rain.

“Did you even have feelings for me, Jae-in?” she asked, every syllable oozing with anger. “Tell it to my face. Tell the truth. Did you even like me even for just a little bit?”

There was a pause, a long and drawn out one as they were both drowned by the noise of the rain around them.

“Did you even love me, Jae-in?”

Jae-in finally looked back at her eyes, through the drops of rain, tears, and the glare on them and met her pupils. He paused for a moment, took in some air, and finally shook his head slowly.

SLAP

“Stay there. Stay there the whole night. Stay there until you die. You deserve worse than that. You’re going to regret this soon, Yoon Jae-in.”

The sting of Soyeon’s slap had only begun to bit in him right after she uttered the words that felt like a curse. The force of Soyeon’s slap was so strong; so filled with hatred and emotion that it forced Jae-in’s head towards his right and eyeing the dead umbrella that lay lopsided on his foot. Slowly, he turned his gaze back up front and he saw the figure of Jeon Soyeon walking on the rain and this time away from him once again. For the first time, he felt his feet numb and unresponsive. He wanted to chase her, but majority of his body declined until Jeon Soyeon finally turned a corner and disappeared into the rain.

Jae-in was left there devastated and dumbstruck, cheek stinging from Soyeon’s solid slap. His eyes merely gazed towards the direction where Soyeon disappeared, with the ghost of her final glaring eyes staring into his soul knowing that he might not get the chance to see her up close ever again.

#gidle soyeon #a little piece of you #kpop story #kpop fanfic #kpop angst

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