#I’m so sorry for you mental health | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starrylevi · 10 months

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“Are you okay?” Levi asks you.

“No.”

“I know, you don’t look it. What’s wrong?”

“Everything is wrong, Levi. I’m exhausted…I wonder what it’s like to have a brain that functions the way it’s supposed to.”

His eyebrows furrow slightly. “Your brain is fine.”

“But that’s the thing, it’s not!” You say exasperatingly. “It’s wired differently and so it makes everything more difficult. I switch between three modes: Not wanting to exist, Surviving, and Beyond Surviving. Guess how much time I spend in each mode?”

Levi doesn’t say anything in response. His expression shows more concern than confusion this time.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. Most of my time is spent surviving. Some of my time is spent not wanting to exist. And just a little of my time is spent beyond suriving…what kind of life is that?”

Levi’s eyes look at you with sadness. “Not much of one, to be honest…but it’s yours and you only have one.” He counters.

“Well, I don’t even know if I want it half of the time. Y’know, someone told me that life is basically climbing mountains. You climb a mountain, which represents a challenge or obstacle, once you get to the top you enjoy the view for a moment…then you climb back down and do the same thing all over again. Rinse and repeat.”

Levi seems to identify with what you’re saying and he knows you’re frustrated right now but he needs to keep you from spiraling. He’s not letting you give up. That’s not the way. “It’s what we have to do, Y/N.” He says gently.

“And what if I don’t want to do anything? What if I don’t want to climb fucking mountains? What if I don’t want to constantly be challenged and given obstacles? What if I just want to sit at the top of the mountain and just be?”

Levi knows these feelings all too well…he’s wrestled with them a few times throughout his life but he’s continued to push through because that’s what you just do. And you’re going to do the same even if he has to do the pushing for you. You snap Levi out of his thoughts with your next statement.

“It would be so much easier if I just…”

“Stop.”

“But-“

“Stop.” He repeats sternly, his steel eyes boring into yours.

You grunt angrily. “You’re not even real, Levi!” You yell out at him. You’re not angry with him. You’re angry at the world, angry for the universe and your parents for putting you in this predicament, angry for placing you into a world that doesn’t accommodate you. “You are a 2-dimensional character I use to cope. There’s no way for you to actually soothe or help me. You. Are. Fictional.”

Your words don’t seem to phase him. He shrugs. “I’m real enough.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I’m real enough to you. Y/N. You are the one who brings me to life. You are the one who decides how real I should be. What does it matter if I’m not a real person?”

“It’s silly.”

“Who says it’s silly?”

“I don’t know, a bunch of people.”

“Well, fuck all of those people then. Just fuck them.” He states as if it’s obvious.

You sigh. “It doesn’t work that way, Levi…”

“So make it work that way. No one else is keeping you alive but yourself.”

“And you…” You say softly.

Levi shakes his head. “I don’t do anything. Like I said before, you’re the one who does the all the heavy lifting. I exist because you want me to. I function the way I do because you want me to.”

“So I control you?”

Levi rolls his eyes at that. “Don’t be a brat. What I’m saying is I’m just an outlet for you.”

You pause, thinking of his words. He’s not wrong. He’s just a character but he’s also not just a character because of you. “I wish you were real.” You admit sadly.

“I wish I were real too…for you.” He sighs as he runs a hand through his raven hair. “But it doesn’t matter if I’m real or not. I still occupy your brain. I still make you happy, that’s all that matters. As long as you let me live in your mind, I’m always going to be here for you.

You nod, not saying anything further.

“Okay?” He asks.

“Okay.”

“Good.”

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ibtisams · 5 months

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I don’t want to sound like those who complain of “boycott fatigue” or “activism burnout” because what I’m feeling is not even close to that, and I am always aware that those currently in Gaza experience everyday is incomparable to anything I can and will ever feel. With all of that being said, I have also lost so much during these 2 months and not had a chance to process or grieve and my mental health has suffered tremendously because of it. I am so beyond exhausted and in a horrible place mentally so I am going to take a small break from being online while I focus on my mental health and getting my life together after these nonstop 2 months

#I hate to sound like I am complaining and diminishing what those in Gaza go through without having a break at all #it is a luxury to be able to take a break but I don’t think I’ll ever truly be able to take a break #Gaza is on my mind every second of the day I close my eyes and see those images and I dream of those images and I am as vocal as I can be #but I need to step back and put myself first and prioritise my mental health because I am really not doing well #I’m so sorry I know how this all looks and sounds but I think I am closer than most to the situation I hope you can see that #I have a queue and of course I will never fully be able to be offline so I’ll still check messages or mutuals can reach me on discord #🦢

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raymoo--hackery · 1 year

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A quick Reimu and Marisa sketch I did for the rivals popularity poll :)

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angelnumber27 · 2 months

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Hi baby angels 😇 it’s about to be that time where I need help with getting a couple of my medications soon! It’s within a few days that I will be running out and I didn’t want to wait until the very last day/moment to try to scramble for a way to pay for them.

My cshapp is $juliagw :)

I have Venmo as well as PayPal, please DM me if you want my usernames to either of those and are interested in helping me 🙂

I am also selling content right now because I need my medications and I am hot. DM me if interested. You can see what I look like here

I need $80 total for the medications I need please help if you can.

I can make art for you if you want please just lmk what y’all are interested in <3

Thank you everyone so so so much 🖤 I’m so lucky and grateful to have and be surrounded by such a wonderful community on here.

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lilyrizzy · 5 days

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Are we….are we back?

#Daniel I’m so sorry for saying you should retire in the DM’s #it was to protect my own mental health #keep slaying king xox

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sepulchritude · 2 months

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Wow people really are such monstrous cunts about BPD huh? Like I knew that but holy shit

#a forum thread including MULTIPLE THERAPISTS and everyone’s saying yeah just don’t ever date or talk to anyone with BPD #they’re all universally psychopaths and nothing will ever change that #like. Tell Me Your Name Right Fucking Now so i can report you to your licensure office!!#cuntery!!! shameless cuntery!!!!#DBT has one of the highest success rates of any treatment modality!#it can help people to the point that they no longer meet diagnostic criteria!!#you call yourself a fucking helping professional but you can’t spare an ounce of professional empathy #for people who are LIVING that emotional rollercoaster? who have one of the higher suicide rates across mental illnesses?#oh i’m sorry is this person too mentally ill for you mx CLINICAL MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR #how about spending some of those annual CE hours on learning some fucking skills you hack #and stop telling people they’re irredeemable monsters who aren’t worth anyone’s effort #god!!!!!!!!!!#sepulchritudinous

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endlessmidnights · 8 months

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Just because you can’t see my struggle doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist… people never seem to understand that high-functioning anxiety and depression exists and is a problem

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itspileofgoodthings · 5 months

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one of my fave things about teaching is that I’m NOT a counselor and I don’t have to get into the weeds with a student but also I’m part of their life every day and i see when they’re struggling and I can ask how them how they’re doing and make sure that they know I see them on a steady, daily basis and it will be healing for both of us

#I teach a student who hit a wall a few weeks ago and just refused to go to school and was just all around struggling with his mental health #and this is not a kid who wants to talk to me about it or would even know how and I also know he has people where he can #But I’ve just tried to make sure that There’s a little extra contact and a few more questions and just a little bit more #and obviously I am not the cause of his doing better but overall I know that it helps #while still being such a subtle and ordinary human exchange that doesn’t force either of us to go to extreme lengths #like man I really LOVE that space and living in it #and just being a (hopefully) stable place for the kids to be seen in a small but consistent way #teaching tag #something about holding them in the safety of manners while also modeling what that looks like for them #it’s so gratifying to me and it helps me too!#like yes we should greet each other! We should ask how we’re doing! we should exchange pleasantries #and it’s important to me that that happens without getting personal sometimes or overly involved #pleasantries don’t have to be cold things and you can be seen and validated by a momentary kind glance as much as by someone digging #into your soul #it can be light and life-giving at the same time #it can be fun!#I’m sorry I’m rambling and over-saying this but it’s Saturday #!!!!!!

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marrfixated · 29 days

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(More thoughts and drafting! Some weird formatting I know but it was all one block in my notes)

Emma is doing just fine. Average. It’s really not so bad.

She’s just been dealing with a lot of change. And with too many things not changing.

Which is… an odd thing to struggle with.

Because she likes hange. Daunting challenges. The unpredictable. Doing new things every day and never being scared of them. And she likes independence.

She had thought so, at least.

After the show, she had been hit in the face with just how… isolated she was. She had only had two friends before the first season, but she had left them behind. Her mother wasn’t doing the best, and she didn’t have any nearby family.

She found herself laying in her bed in the middle of the day most of the time, scrolling through her contacts and old conversations.

Or scrolling through her comments on TikTok.

A few weeks ago, she had tried some stunt involving a motorcycle and an inflatable pool. She probably wouldn’t have messed it up if her hands weren’t trembling.

(She had forgot to check the breaks, and wasn’t sure if they were working.)

(They were.)

The blood dripping down her face and the gash in her lip didn’t sting as much as it did watching the video.

She looked ridiculous, and she probably always did. It was better when she had someone else to do it with. Maybe she was losing her touch.

She didn’t post the video.

She turned back to dancing instead, which did feel less embarassing, despite the constant mocking feedback. Sure, the jokes were “funny”, but she didn’t care about any of it. She didn’t feel the rush, she wasn’t planning every day, and she wasn’t known or loved for anything.

Except for what she lost.

And, the show, to an extent.

-Ugh, she misses the show. She shouldn’t, but as stupid as it sounds, she missed doing crazy things and talking to people. Having a chance of winning. Beating everyone. Being cheered on. It wasn’t always great, but at least it was something. She misses doing something.

And she really misses Bowie. She missed Bowie, but she knows better than anyone that she can’t go back to that. They just- have better things to do now. He probably does.

He’s got Raj- which is great! And she’s happy for him! She’s happy for everyone. For Wayne, however he’s doing, for Julia, despite everything.

And Caleb. For having Priya.

Emma is jealous that Bowie gets to have someone.

Emma is jealous that everyone else gets to have someone.

Emma is jealous that, unlike everyone else, winning the show probably wouldn’t have made her any happier.

She isn’t sure what would.

#cw injury mention #(very brief)#writing her always feels weird because I like to explore things that weren’t at all touched in canon #because we only see her as angry at Chase or lighthearted and silly #but I think she’d feel sort of empty. especially with how much attention she would be used to and craving #with Chase and her millions(?) of fans #and you aren’t just angry and then happy.. like she would have a lot of guilt too #like e4s2 and when Bowie and her fought are what I’m going off of #plus she’s portrayed as a person who wants validation/social interaction/close relationships #and she doesn’t really have that #also you can’t tell me she loves TikTok and it’s so good for her mental health lol I use TikTok and nobody has ever thought that #but yeah it’s hard to analyze and elaborate on a character who’s been kind of wasted in canon #but still I think there’s so many fun ways to analyze her #original post #total drama #total drama island #total drama 2023 #total drama reboot #td spoilers #technically this is Priyemma based but I won’t tag it as such cus it isn’t obvious #I think Emma would have gotten really attached to her though.. arghhh #because Priya trusted her and supported her and liked her and she hasn’t actually had that before #and her missing Bowie… oomph it hurts #gah sorry for ranting lol but I love her #td Emma #Emma td #tdi Emma #Emma tdi #total drama emma #emma total drama

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autisticlancemcclain · 11 months

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i know it’s a stupid thing to whine about and i’m sorry but the low engagement in my fics lately is super bumming me out, plus the wildfires means there’s no sunlight rn and that uh. is generally bad. for my brain. so i’m going to take a break for a bit?? for at least tonight. i need to sort my shit out and do some writing practice to figure out what i’m doing wrong. FRF is definitely still on and queued for tomorrow, and i haven’t decided about wip wednesday yet (not even sure if i’m continuing that bc so far that’s been a flop) so i’ll let y’all know :) be safe and stay healthy everyone i’ll be back soon

#i feel so bad guys i’m sorry #but lately every time i post i feel like i’m failing the peer review and since i am among the most sensitive it bitches you will ever meet #that is going unwell for me #u know that scene in inside. where bo is like yeah so my mental health is kind of at an atl #not atlanta #but all time low?#that’s me rn.#lol #anyways. i’m still going to be writing lots bc writing still makes me feel good #it’s just the posting that makes me want to cry #so.#anyways sorry this is cringe and embarrassing and emotional #i’ll be back either tomorrow or with further information tomorrow #depends on if my seasonal depressed ass sees the sun or not lol you’d be shocked at how fast i spiral #lmao #personal #announcement #?

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dreamsb0u · 3 months

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Sometimes I wish my “friends” or whatever who ghosted me would talk to me again just so I could bite their fucking heads off

#rant #Tw rant #vent #vent tw #in tags #like you fucking said you were going on a mental health break and that’s fine but after WEEKS of radio silence I check on you #and you’ve fucking BLOCKED me????#like what the fuck is wrong with you #this has happened multiple times and I think it’s justified that I’m fucking angry #they KNOW I have abandonment issues and they don’t even give me a notice they don’t tell me what I did wrong #I’m so fucking tired of this shit #I’ve tried to be supportive but all they ever do is fucking toss me to the side #I’m not sorry #I can’t even look at half of my sketchbook anymore because it’s stuff I made for them #I wouldn’t say that letting your friends know why you’re leaving them is a lot to ask #but hey maybe I’m the one in the wrong here #and I’m even angrier because I don’t hate them #I can’t really #but I’m so fucking mad #I don’t want any hug emojis I get that you’re trying to help but I’m really not in the fucking mood #I think I only have like two friends I can trust

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twistedappletree · 13 days

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THIS CITY IS SO FUCKING FAKE “ohhhh we pride ourselves in being an art hub, look at our hundreds of galleries owned by rich white people who don’t even fucking live here and pushed out all the native artists because money talks, aren’t we impressive??? 🤪”

BUT RIGHT NOW MY CIRCUS SCHOOL IS BEING THREATENED WITH EVICTION BC THE GENERIC CORPORATE PLUMBING BUSINESS NEXTDOOR WANTS TO BUY THAT SPACE WHEN THEY ALREADY RENT OVER HALF THE GODDAMN BUILDING

omfg i’m literally losing my mind. the ONE fucking place where kids and young adults can go to express their creativity and learn cool skills regardless of skill and income and they’re gonna lose it because of a fucking greedy ass business who doesn’t give 2 fucks and a pussy ass landlord who only sees 💸💸💸💸

i’m mad i’m mad i’m fucking LIVID ALKSLQKDLAKDKAKS

#my entire community is going to be fucking scattered #this is the only place i have here that makes me feel welcome and accepted #i fucking hate money i fucking HATE landlords ajajdhjqjsAKDJAJS #why is it always the ARTS that fucking suffer #fuck you fuck you fUCK YOU #apple babble 🍎#non fandom #guys i’m sorry to bring this here but i need to vent #this is bad it’s REALLY fucking bad #like you have no idea how goddamn important my circus school is not only to me #but to SO many people here whose lives and mental health and souls have healed and bettered bc of it #why is life so fucking SHIT #WHY THIS

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snzluv3r · 7 months

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i know there’s a lot of chronically ill/medically complex people on here so i was wondering, have any of you ever struggled with medical burnout (for lack of better words)?

(also gonna rant real quick under here sorry for the negativity)

i’ve been really struggling lately because it feels like half of my time is spent making phone calls and scheduling appointments and going to get tests and scans and spending months of my life just in limbo on waiting lists. i’m so sick of feeling like my health is a job and constantly being at the hospital for appointments like it’s gotten so bad that i can barely bring myself to take my meds anymore. it’s just so exhausting sometimes and i wish there was a way i could take a break from all of this without potentially making my health worse.

even today i woke up really sick and had to miss out on something i was really looking forward to yet i still feel this responsibility to make all of the medical calls i was planning to make anyway because i’ve been putting everything off for so long. it’s not like making those calls is that much work but it gets so frustrating being bounced around or not getting a straight answer because insurance or referrals or whatever other stupid healthcare system process that makes this all so much more complicated.

i also am still on the waiting list for my new PCP and have no idea when i’ll be able to actually meet her, yet my psychiatrist decided (without consulting me or my therapist) that because my meds haven’t changed recently (they absolutely have), i can just get all of my psych meds (including adderall) through my PCP….which i don’t technically have. i’m so frustrated because my nightmares have been so bad for years and they’re only getting worse and every med i’ve tried for PTSD nightmares is either bad for my physical health or doesn’t work at all and that’s really not something that i necessarily trust a pcp with??? it’s just not necessarily in their scope and i’ve had too many prescribers fuck up my brain and body by recklessly putting me on different psych meds without proper knowledge or research.

i’m just so frustrated and i’m so miserable right now i wish i didn’t have to do this for the rest of my life. and the fact that EDS literally just gets worse with age like? i don’t think i CAN do this for the rest of my life it’s just an endless cycle

sorry for complaining and ranting so much nobody is even gonna read this and that’s okay i just needed to get it off my chest

#i’m so so so so so tired #all i wanted to do today was be productive and go to this thing #and i woke up at 6 am sick #got a cute three hours of sleep and am in too much pain to sleep now #and i have to be at the hospital at 7 am tomorrow #not snz #sorry ignore this just rantinf #cw mental health #cw medical stuff #sorry idk how to tag it #i literally showed up to my last appointment with my psychiatrist and he said “’well i’ll probably never see u again bc this is our last se’#SINCE WHEN #like you could’ve fucking told me so i could make other plans #whatever #i shouldn’t be surprised anymore

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iridescentsky29 · 10 months

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Delete the post about Kokobot. It is a service who at best uses your messages and personal information for financial gain. Keeping that post up without clear disclaimers is seriously unethical and could put vulnerable people in harms way

I’m really sorry about my post, this is my apology to everyone. I did not realise that multiple people had mentioned this in the comments talking about how kokobot was extremely unethical and I feel awful because I know a lot of people were trying to warn me and everyone else about the dangers of kokobot. The post I made should have not been made and I am extremely sorry.

When I made that post I did it because I wanted to help other people who were struggling with their mental health, so the fact that kokobot could likely harm some people is horrible because it’s the exact opposite of what I wanted.

For clarification for people who do not know what kokobot is, if you type in the search bar of tumblr something related to mental health you will be directed to kokobot, a messagebot which says it will ‘connect you with other anonymous people’ so you can get help. However what I did not know until now was that kokobot was actually an experiment and uses users data, including the messages the have sent using kokobot to use for research purposes in their weird and unethical experiment. I think it is awful that a lot of vulnerable people who are struggling with their mental health, including myself, have been used in an experiment against their will and without knowing. I’m actually in shock about the fact that some of my own data could be used in this ‘research’ and it’s horrible to know, because a lot of people write very personal things there and I know I did, and I know a lot of people will be feeling the same way as me

So please if you see this post DO NOT INTERACT WITH KOKOBOT. It can very harmful to you if doing so and is extremely unethical and unfair. There are multiple other support services out there if you need them so please do not be afraid to reach out, it is much more safer using other support services than kokobot is

I understand my post got a lot of attention and I hope that the people who saw that post see this or find out another way about the dangers of kokobot. Once again I’m very sorry that I helped kokobot gain more attention to the patient that the bot itself even reblogged my post so it could get more attention. I didn’t realise at the time and honestly I feel like I’ve been tricked and I’m really angry and upset at the people behind kokobot right now.

If you’re seeing this right now please reblog. I need to get this message across to more tumblr users and I need to correct my mistakes. Over 400 people interacted with my last post so that’s a lot of people who think koko is ok and I need to fix that. I need to correct my mistakes

And to anyone who is struggling right now, stay safe and I believe in you, you can get through this I promise

#kokobot #kokobot issues #bot issues #tumblr issues #controversy #please reblog this if you see it #I need people to know to stay away from kokobot #to all of the people who commented on my previous post #I am so sorry I didn’t respond before hand #mental health help #mental health #koko project #i’m sorry #apology

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shima-draws · 1 year

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Told my boss that NO I cannot take over customer phone calls because my anxiety will literally not be able to take it. And I’m being SO brave about it,

#I say this as I’m sitting here shaking and on the verge of having an anxiety attack. AHA #Shima speaks #She called me yesterday morning and was like. Hey your coworker is drowning and I KNOW you hate phone calls #But she really needs help #And I was like. Yeah okay. Maybe I can do this.#Fast forward to last night. I’m in bed hyperventilating bc no I CANNOT do this #My mental health has already been Bad for the past few months bc I’m already working overtime for this job #And now to take on the One thing I generally get anxious about? Bro. It’s gonna kill me. 100% no exaggeration #So I called my boss this morning and was like hi I’m so sorry I said I would but I actually can’t. I deadass had an anxiety attack #just THINKING about it last night #And she was like omg no I get it. I have anxiety too I know what it’s like. It’s debilitating sometimes #So she said I didn’t have to do the phone calls and now I’m like YIPPEE #And she said hey that was a really brave thing to do. Speaking up like that and making it clear when you’re not comfortable with something #Me still shaking and holding back tears: Thank you I’m being SO brave about this rn #Anyway I’m still coming down from the near panic attack I had before I called her to tell her lmao #It’s been a rough 24 hours. I’m fine (lying)#I’ll BE fine now that I don’t have to talk to angry customers on the phone tho 🥰

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endlessmidnights · 28 days

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My anxiety has made me paranoid, I can’t here laughter, whispering, plain talking, I can’t see texting, I can’t do anything without thinking I’m being made fun of or talked about in some way

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