Wow people really are such monstrous cunts about BPD huh? Like I knew that but holy shit

Dearest treasure | KTH

|PART 1| |PART 2| |PART 3|

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts together)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main Masterlist

2089 (present)

Jungwon took a glance down towards the camera clasped tightly in the palm of his hand. With a heavy breath, his eyes slowly moved up to the big house in front of him. Former white paint - now a dirty grey almost everywhere - was already peeling itself from the walls, dozens of thick ivy tendrils sneaking up to the dirty windows and even further. It looked just like the old spooky houses, Jungwon had secretly seen in horror movies his parents were watching. And it especially felt like it as well.

The cold wind was slowly whirling around the dead leaves on the ground, freeing the view to numerous mounds of earth spreading over the whole front yard and probably even backyard. Some were fresher than the others. Some were older than the others.

Jungwon could feel a wave of goosebumps hushing over his body, clearly not only being the cold winds fault. With one last reassuring nod to himself, he courageously made its way over the small path through the chaotic front yard towards the old wooden front door.

It had terrified him when he was a bit younger to even lay eyes on this house, let alone go any near it, and quite truthfully, Jungwon still felt a tiny wave of fear coming through. He had heard many things around this neighbourhood and school...creepy theories as to why the old man living inside this house was seen digging holes in his garden. From murder to even paranormal activities, everything was possible, referring one of the older kids at school, Park Jongseong, who tended to love scaring innocent young students with these stories. And he even heard parents trying to discipline their children, threatening them to pay ‘Killer Kang’ - that was the old man’s unfortunate nickname - a small visit if they did not behave. It was as if this small town didn’t have anything else to talk about than a lonely, slightly creepy, man. And if he remembered correctly, he never saw or heard anyone even trying to talk to him. So what did they know?

Jungwon heard a lot. To say the least, he questioned himself quietly if he should have just chosen another topic for his video and interview for a school project. He could have. But something deep down told him quietly not to judge too quickly, not to judge a book only by it’s cover. His parents and his grandmother taught him that early on and it stayed with him ever since. He wanted to give this poor scrutinised man a chance to actually explain himself. Why was he always digging these holes into the ground? Maybe he really was a serial killer and this would be Jungwons biggest mistake, but where’s the fun in not even trying? Right? He could only lose, well...his life...

The 14 year old boy quickly shook his head, trying to stay positive. And then he finally pressed the rusty bell on the side of the door. He heard nothing at first, it was as quiet as it could get, no steps, no talking, no TV. The eerie feeling hanging in the air didn’t make it any better for Jungwon to stay calm and not giddy. “You can do this! He’s not even creepy.” He tried to hype himself up.

He almost wanted to ring again, as his heart sunk. Damp slow steps were coming closer and closer, making him hold his breath unconsciously. The door opened in an awful slow motion, revealing the old man everyone was afraid of. White hair framed his sunken in face full of deep wrinkles. He used a walking stick to stand, his position was crouched forward, so he was about the same height as him, maybe even a bit smaller. And when Jungwon met his eyes, there was a glint in them, that almost scared him off like all the other kids would have. But he stayed put.

The man didn’t say anything, just stared at him, awaiting him to explain this very unusual visit. Nobody had ever dared to ring his house. Not even the mailman thought of doing so.

“Good Morning Mr Kang. Uhm ...I am Yang Jungwon.” The young boy began with slightly unstable voice, trying to get a hold of himself. “I am a student at Namgang Highschool and we are currently doing individual video projects containing an interview with someone we find fascinating and want to learn more about. And...I was wondering if...if maybe it would be possible to...interview you?” Jungwon managed to squeak out, hiding his trembling hands from Mr. Kangs boring hawk eyes.

He still hadn’t said anything, looking up and down the underaged student. Then his eyes met his shaky ones again. “Is this a joke again, boy? Because I have no tolerance for silly boy pranks.” He finally muttered out in a harsh tone, letting Jungwon flinch the slightest. He quickly shook his head, implying that this was his last wish to do.

“No sir, no I swear this is a very serious question and project. I wouldn’t dare to do anything but.” The boy rambled, now fiddling nervously with the hem of his uniform jacket. The man pulled his glasses somewhat higher on his nose before he gave the student a hesitant nod.

“You are the first person for years daring to come talk to me...” he noted absent minded, eyes wandering behind the boy to check if there really weren’t any stupid kids hiding inside the bushes. “How...extraordinary.” He muttered, clinging onto his walking stick as he began turning around.

“You said fascinating people, boy? I have to disappoint you, there is nothing interesting about me, I dare say.” A small sigh left his mouth, beginning to close his door slowly but Jungwon was quicker. What had gotten into him? Was it the surprise at his not so cold attire or maybe has he just gone crazy? But Jungwon wanted to know more about his story. There had to be more.

“Sir, no please. You may think so but quite frankly you are the talk of town every day.” Jungwon began but got stopped hearing the other one scoffing displeased. “Killer Kang...I know this nickname they all give me. Do you use it too? I don’t want to have anything to do with people like this.” His tone got harsher again.

Jungwon frantically shook his head again. “I don’t. I would never. This is the reason why I chose to interview you in the first place. I want to hear your part about everything. I think it is only fair to give you a proper chance to explain. They just don’t know.” He gave the man a pleading look. Mr. Kang hesitated again, letting the boys words sink in. He didn’t seem like he could harm a fly, he thought. Was is worth the struggle?

He didn’t know what or why he was doing it but the next thing Jungwon saw was him walking slowly into the house again, leaving the door open. Should he follow? A quick look over his shoulder told him he should. Jungwon couldn’t believe he really meant it so he still stood unsure, fiddling with the silver camera in his hands, metal cooling against his sweaty palms. “Are you coming, or what?” The now softer voice of the white haired man asked still trotting forward in a steady pace.

This woke Jungwon immediately out of his trance, stumbling clumsily stuttering and rambling while thanking him over and over again. He had made it.

He entered the dark hallway, suddenly being hit with a strong smell of a typical musty grandparents house. It remembered him of his own grandmother’s one, where he spent almost half of his childhood. With one swift movement, he gently shut the door and followed the tracks of this houses owner without forgetting to put his shoes off. There were some stacks of newspaper laying around randomly, old picture frames hanging on some of the white and dark green walls and old brown rugs adorning the cold floor. He noticed a small picture of a young lady in a baby blue dress, sitting on a self built swing while smiling ear to ear. But he quickly moved on. It was as every other old people’s home, Jungwon thought.

“Boy, say, do you want a cup of tea? Or water?” The young student heard the now calm voice asking him, seeing as they arrived in the living room. An antique looking glass chandelier was hanging right in the middle, brown couches placed generously inside the big room. Jungwon was surprised. He expected to shake with pure fear in his veins, but why did it feel like he was just visiting his grandparents? A friendly visit. That was the first moment he knew he misjudged the famously feared old man.

“No thank you. I was wondering if I could maybe...film the whole thing? The interview? I prepared some questions already if that is fine with you.” Jungwon timidly pulled out the camera behind his back and soon enough some pieces of paper. There was a moment of silence, Mr. Kang just looking speechlessly at the innocent and oh so polite brown haired boy. His heart already told him, despite his inner conflicts, that he was a nice boy. A really well-behaved kid. He could tell him, he could understand, and maybe even help. At least that was his hope.

“You are really something else. Jungho was your name?” With small steps he wandered to one of the couches, plopping down painfully slow with a nasty crack of his bones into an already deep hollow on the couch. Just like his grandparents. Jungwon by now was really overwhelmed by the mans compliance and...kindness?

“It’s Jungwon, Mr. Kang.” He added, earning an understanding nod from his side, followed by a motion of his hand for him to sit down. “Of course, of course. You can set up the camera on the table if you have to. It was a long time ago since...anyone filmed me.”

It didn’t took long for the eager student to put his camera on the table in a good angle. His script was already sprawled all across his lap and with nervous looks in between, he asked the man if he was ready to begin the interview. Jungwon was aching to know the truth behind the misunderstood lonely person in front of him. He finally wanted to clear the unpleasant rumours about him, wanting to know what really was behind his actions.

“Ready, boy.”

Jungwon clicked the red recording button on his camera, sitting down on the couch behind it. And he did not waste any time to start.

“My first question for you Mr Kang, has to do with your widely spreaded nickname. As you told me earlier, you were already aware of such name. What do you think about it?”

It was the second time, he heard him scoff in annoyance. “It’s ridiculous what people tend to gossip behind someone’s back when they are bored. Whoever believes these ignorant, mindless comments should go to school again and get educated. This nickname... ‘Killer Kang’ -“ he stopped to caugh out loudly, repositioning himself more comfortable in his seat before continuing to talk. “ - holds absolute no truth in it. I can’t seem to think why somebody even invented it.”

Jungwon immediately nodded in agreement, earning a small nod from the man himself. “That was exactly my point. It looked almost like people just invented some crazy untrue theories when they cannot seem to understand a certain...action.” He tried to find the right words. “It’s probably nothing new to hear, but people around this town, I think they came up with this name solely to...to find an explanation as to why...the holes...I mean you digging them with a shovel in your garden...is that...” he lost his voice in the end of his sentence, not wanting to say any wrong words.

But Mr. Kang just nodded, looking out of the window with a distant look. He suck in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “It’s probably not the answer you or all the people would like to hear. All the foolish theories. It’s something far more...simple.” He looked over to Jungwon, soft eyes under the thick crease above them. He was ready to tell someone. Just anyone. He longed for a conversation for too long, maybe that is why he agreed in the first place.

He was so lonely.

“Let me tell you my story right from the beginning. I hope you do have some time, boy, it might be a longer story.”

And then he began to tell his story. Your story.

Writing about more songs that I like uwu

Indie for life.

I Bet On Losing Dogs - by Mitski I love this song because it resonates on a deep level with me. This one, to me, is about doing things that you know they will backfire or just fail, but doing them anyways. I had a relationship last year that I was really enjoying, my ex was the kindest guy I’ve ever met and we clicked really well, but my father found out by me not closing our conversations and he literally went berserk, threatening to out him to his parents and threatening me with physical violence. Wasn’t nice. The entire relationship was a losing dog, I knew it’d be found out one day, I just hoped that it wouldn’t be found out so soon. I knew that I had bet on a losing dog. I was watching the relationship fall apart in front of my very eyes as soon as my dad found out, but I still stood by the ring, looking into its eyes when it was down. I still cry about it sometimes. Oh well.

Because Dreaming Costs Money, My Dear - by Mitski A song about still feeling an aching void after something had passed. I can still smell the fire, though I know it’s long died out. The smoke still hangs in my hair and on some quiet evenings it burns my eyes. I can still hear my ex’s voice in my head, I can still see us walking around town when I go out and those memories sometimes make my eyes well up. The hopeful part of this song isn’t that we will be mended one day, but that if I “keep playing my violin” I will be out of this abusive household and I will manage somehow.  Made Me This Way - by Seraphine I know that Riot only made Seraphine to please their chinese parent company, Tencent, but I really like the message they have here. Plus I think it’s really inclusive towards people who speak mandarin and are of Chinese descent, since one of its verses is in mandarin! The lyrics reminds me of the long way that I’ve come, from being a depressed emo kid to someone who aspires to become a surgeon. Everything that’s happened to me has contributed, one way or another, to me becoming the way I am now.  Sunny Road - by  Emilíana Torrini A song that the singer wrote for her deceased fiancé, who tragically lost his life to a heart attack. To me, this song is addressed to better times and happiness. I know it’s been a long time since I felt happy, but I hope I’ll meet it one day on a sunny road.  Pillar of Truth - by Lucy Dacus A song that Lucy wrote to her grandmother when she was dying. To her, she was the pillar of truth that was turning to dust before her very eyes. The song is wonderfully written, growing in intensity as it progresses like a line of matches that’s been lit and is building up speed towards a pile of gasoline. This song was constantly playing in my mind when my great grandmother was dying. The 89 years that she lived on this planet and all the challenges she overcame. All of that, being reduced to nothing. I absolutely adore this song and I really recommend it.   Through the Valley - by Shawn James This song first hit my ear when I heard Ellie singing it in the first teaser for The Last of Us Part II. I instantly fell in love with it, and boy oh boy, is it a good song. Grungy, melancholic and badass at the same time, it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of being left alone to rot, yet rising from your own ashes to seek vengeance.  Motion Sickness - by Phoebe Bridgers  A great song about being put on an emotional rollercoaster. The motion sickness you get is purely emotional, then you start asking for someone to roll the windows down. My father is verbally and sometimes physically abusive towards me, but after prolonged acts of abuse comes a period of overblown displays of affection. The kind of conditional affection that I’ve taught myself to reject, because it’s like the high from a shot of heroin. Be Your Own 3 AM - by Adult Mom The first non-binary artist that I’ve ever listened to! Adult Mom’s sound is very soft, tender and lulling. This song is about collecting your debris once you’ve fallen apart and building yourself anew. It helped me through my years when I felt lost and expectations were piling higher and higher.  Wreck of the Day - by Anna Nalick A song that I like to put on loop when I feel like a mess. There were lots of shifts on the ambulance that left me completely destroyed. I haven’t had a patient code on me, but I did have dead patients who were DOA. The faces of the family and the torment that lingered in the air was hard to take in at first but I have gradually learned how to handle it. God bless this song.  Real Love - by Big Thief This song captures those tender loving moments of you and your loved one just spending time together, alone, and admiring each other. Touching each other’s cheeks, promising to love each other forever.  Masterpiece - by Big Thief THE song that I go to when I feel like I admire someone too much but they’re taken. They’ve seen the master piece, and it looks a lot like me, but they chose them over me. Relying on them only to get nothing when you need them.

Suicide Hotline - by The Prettiots A song about not feeling fine, envious of people who died, googling methods of suicide, but not feeling bad enough that you’d actually do them. Comparing your own shit to other people’s shit helps you put your shit into perspective .  Map On A Wall - by Lucy Dacus Oh, please, don’t make fun of me. This song really does well with capturing the insecure sentiments of teenage years and early adulthood. I was always self conscious about my silhouette, about my teeth, my hair, my acne and my proportions. Even about the shape of my eyes. Yearning for someone while also trying your best to look good, even though everything you put on just feels bad. A map has no use when it’s just hanging on a wall, and neither does your true self if it’s hiding behind anxiety. 

Into The Fire - by Thirteen Senses A leap of faith. A jump into the unknown. Into The Fire is all about what the title says: put your hand into the fire. Sometimes, we have to take risks. Write that e-mail. Apply to that college. Ask that special someone out. Do that needle decompression to save someone’s life. All year round, risks have to be taken. You can’t watch the flame and complain about it because it won’t get you anywhere. You have to take that jump yourself.

Anyway bye.