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lunarmoves · 2 months

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the words had slipped out of your mouth almost unconsciously.

they’d been festering in your mind for a while, you knew. bubbling and boiling until you felt akin to a tumultuous volcano. it was only inevitable that you’d eventually spew them out, you thought. you were just lucky it was after hours in the daycare, when it was just you and him. alone and with a finite amount of time at your fingertips.

“i beg your pardon?” sun said at the same time something cracked in his grip.

you glanced at his hand to see a broken crayon gripped in it. he didn’t let it go, his wide eyes latched onto your form from where he’d been cleaning up the drawing tables.

you swallowed thickly, a heat encompassing your neck and ears. you looked away, suddenly shy and— something else. “…never mind. forget i said anything.”

“no, friend.” he finally opened his hand to drop the broken crayon into the plastic box he was holding. then he set it down on a table and strode up to your lingering form to grip at your upper arms. something gleamed in the flickering iridescence of his optics. “what did you say?”

it was more difficult now than before with how he was acting. something squirmed in your gut, but you couldn’t avoid him and his persistence, you knew this. your eyes flicked off to the side and it felt like you had to force the words out again. “…i love you.”

there was a moment where he just stared blankly at you. then his eyes crinkled sharply and he started to laugh.

it wasn’t a kind thing—loud and harsh and echoing around the daycare in a way that made it all the more jarring. he laughed and laughed and laughed, breathless somehow and with a shrillness that hurt your eardrums. made you feel so utterly nauseous.

you could only stand there, confused and a bit hurt. he had let go of your arms in his laughter, folding them across his stomach like you’d just told him the funniest fucking joke in the world. you burned with embarrassment.

the abruptness with which he stopped laughing made you nearly flinch—cut off so suddenly like it was a recording. wiping a fake tear from his eye, sun leaned over your figure with his gaze trained on your face.

“no you don’t,” was his frigid reply. and it was so unexpected after all of… that that you snapped your gaze back up to his faceplate in confusion and a tinge of fiery offense.

“what?” you snapped out. you were bubbling and boiling—but not in the same way as before.

“you don’t love me,” he repeated with all the intent of a colossal glacier moving down a river. his white pupil gaze turned half-lidded.

you were irate and you knew it showed. “you can’t just—”

“oh but i can!” he interrupted cheerily, reaching out with a hand to boop your nose. the lighthearted action juxtaposed heavily against the fire licking at your heart.

you made an angry noise. “it’s my feelings and i’m telling you i—”

“my dear!” sun exclaimed loudly over your voice to smother it. “look at me!” he gestured down at himself—all yellow and red and bells and stripes and metal metal metal. his voice was weighed down by tons of concrete and it felt like a stab to your chest. “you don’t love me. you don’t love this.”

then he gripped onto your arms once more, face strained in a wide smile bordering on manic desperation. you felt all the simmering rage dissipate in a snap—leaving you so utterly cold.

and when he spoke, it was like his words were held together only by a tight, fraying thread. “you can’t.”

#remember when i said i had another idea for the ily drabble i wrote a few days ago?#yeah.#yeah…#sun x reader #sun x y/n #sundrop x reader #sundrop x y/n #sundrop x you #dca fandom #dca fanfic #dca x reader #dca x y/n #daycare attendant x reader #daycare attendant x y/n #fnaf sun x reader #fnaf sun x y/n #fnaf dca x reader #shay scribbles daydreams

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shikai-the-storyteller · 5 months

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I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

#i talk #QSMP talk #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #I FOUND IT #I wrote this post TWO MONTHS AGO #MAYBE LONGER!!!#I had clips and links prepared but I have no idea where those went #I'm not gonna bother saving this as a draft and risk losing it again #I have nearly 70000 drafts on my main blog but by some miracle this got saved in my art blogs' drafts instead #than the stars #Anyways. Leo was killed by a whale a few days later because Foolish was in the bathroom lmao #''powerful god-adjacent man who bends the laws of the universe'' vs. ''man whose entire life is a series of sitcom episodes''#I still really want to write out that ''QSMP genre'' thought I had ages ago. It's still relevant and always will be relevant #but anyways #I wrote this months ago on very little sleep but DANG. It's a banger.#I miss writing analysis stuff I wish I was in a headspace where I could do this more like I used to #QSMP analysis

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difeisheng · 1 month

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A Jianghu Mystery of the Middle Xi: The Tomb of Li Xiangyi

By Qiling, University of □□ (2024)

Left: A photograph of the inscribed text at Li Xiangyi's tomb, reading, "The grave of the Sigu Sect's departed Sect Leader, Li Xiangyi". Right: Artist's sketch renditions from eye-level frontal and aerial side views, recreating how the tomb may have appeared during the Xi dynasty.

Among the numerous important archaeological finds from the Xi Dynasty, the tomb of Li Xiangyi is not the most well-known, nor has it yielded any artifacts of particular intrigue, yet it has raised questions about certain points in history since its discovery. The tomb constitutes a small site, near a mountainous overlook which should have received little common traffic at the time of construction. Its structure is in line with some other aristocratic burials of the Middle Xi period: aboveground, with a chamber at the center of a raised rectangular dais several meters wide, large enough to bear only a single individual. A stone marker, which has survived in legible condition until today, declares it the tomb of Li Xiangyi, leader of the Sigu jianghu sect.

Records about Li Xiangyi are found at other archaeological sites contemporary with this tomb, and so his name is not an obscure one. The Sigu Sect complex has already undergone excavation for nearly two decades, with evidence that Li Xiangyi spent several years there as its first sect leader and founder. His tomb is within two hours' walking distance of the Sigu site, though isolated in its location, compared to the Sigu Sect's grand mountain entrance. (The complex itself was inhabited well after his death; bamboo slips cite Qiao Wanmian as the Sigu Sect's next major leader some years after, who oversaw it for several more decades into the later Xi). In addition, the Baichuan-Pudu site, closer to the eastern coast and historically the headquarters for the Baichuan Court, is affiliated with Li Xiangyi. Its origins apparently lay in an offshoot of the Sigu Sect, which grew into its own independent legal organization after his death.

Legends surrounding Li Xiangyi's life have been well-documented, both at Sigu and Baichuan-Pudu, but also in books and transcriptions of oral stories at sites around the country. These are dated to both the Middle and Late Xi periods, as well as a few scattered mentions in writings from the following dynasty. As a jianghu sect leader and swordsman, Li Xiangyi's reputation truly preceded him. Some tales speak of his early accomplishments, ridding towns of villainous tyrants and defeating criminals. Others talk about the founding of the Sigu Sect when Li Xiangyi was seventeen, and his subsequent missions leading his fellow swordsmen to protect the borders of the country. Not all of these narratives can be verified with surviving historical proof, and given Li Xiangyi's status in the shifting canon of folklore, the percentage that are hyperbole or fiction is likely significant. However, one that should be true, and is the most frequently told story throughout these sources, is that of Li Xiangyi's death.

All texts place Li Xiangyi as having died relatively young, with some providing a specified age, generally around twenty. He perished in a duel with Di Feisheng, leader of the Jinyuan Alliance, a rival jianghu organization and presumed threat to the Sigu Sect. As the sources say, the Jinyuan Alliance killed Li Xiangyi's sect brother, Shan Gudao, and in retaliation he used the Sigu Sect to launch a war against the Jinyuan Alliance. His final battle was the last in this war, dying in the East Sea on Di Feisheng's ship. The Jinyuan Alliance in return was badly defeated by the Sigu Sect; excavations at its first compound in the last five years have shown evidence of siege, with fire having destroyed large parts of the buildings. Afterward, the Sigu Sect disbanded without Li Xiangyi, with only the Baichuan Court continuing to function, before being resurrected one decade later.

Given this knowledge we have about Li Xiangyi, the matter of his burial should be straightforward. He had a tremendous impact on the jianghu in the few short years that he stood at its peak. He died heroically, if tragically, to obtain justice for a brother. He was honoured with a tomb, standing guard over the sect he dedicated his youth to. Why, then, is said tomb regarded as somewhat of a mystery?

This tomb was first stumbled upon during extended surveys of the Sigu site territory, with excavation taking place within the last two years. Parts of the stone chamber and foundation of the dais have withstood time, as have most things left inside. The tomb bears no signs of looting. However, there are some details which, alongside discoveries from other archaeological sites, contribute to a shadow of uncertainty on the existing narrative of Li Xiangyi's life.

Firstly, is that the austerity of the tomb does not line up with what we know of Li Xiangyi. Although overall sufficient enough for someone of his great reputation, the tomb is rather plainly embellished. There are an unexpectedly small number of burial objects inside, with those present being neither rare nor expensive. For all his contributions to the jianghu, less money and resources were poured into remembrance of Li Xiangyi than seems proper for his time.

Secondly, and far more significantly, is that the tomb holds no human remains. Whether the fact of Li Xiangyi having no recovered body to bury was made public is unknown; if it was, we do not have record of it. Certainly those who arranged for the tomb to be built and sealed would have carried this with them the rest of their lives, but no one else may be accounted for. Granted, it is not impossible for a disappeared body to have been common knowledge or presumption, as Li Xiangyi was killed at sea with no guarantee of being found. Yet this, combined with the ordinary appearance of the tomb, causes the entire site to appear... a nominal thing. Constructed to maintain acknowledgement of Li Xiangyi's absence, though his death was only marked by words, rather than a physical state.

He was given a tomb, but was Li Xiangyi truly dead before it was built?

In terms of the aforementioned other archaeological site findings, there is one that potentially implicates Li Xiangyi's death at an interesting political junction, within the context of the dynasty. The Xi Dynasty was unstable and relatively short-lived, established after taking back the Central Plains and adjacent territories from the southern conquering state of Nanyin. It endured for just under two centuries, the first of which was fraught with pockets of conflict, with many jianghu skirmishes such as that between the Sigu Sect and the Jinyuan Alliance. The greatest threat to the Xi Dynasty (until its fall) came one hundred years after its founding. Recovered archival records from the Xi capital excavation report that remaining Nanyin loyalists attempted a coup, supported by jianghu organizations, including a restored Jinyuan Alliance (although whether Di Feisheng was still its leader at this time is unclear). This attack was ultimately unsuccessful, but important to note is that the leader of this renewed Nanyin force is described as being Shan Gudao, Li Xiangyi's former sect brother.

Although Li Xiangyi brought the Sigu Sect into a war upon news of Shan Gudao's death, that demise seems to have been faked, with Shan Gudao disappearing underground only to reappear as part of a later rebellion. Could Li Xiangyi have been aware of this? Was his reaction to Shan Gudao's apparent death genuine? Or part of a coordinated plan, using him as a reason to destroy the Jinyuan Alliance, to eradicate any future resistance? Did Li Xiangyi, too, fake his death alongside Shan Gudao, in service of a shared cause? Were remnants of the Sigu Sect instructed to build an empty tomb, cementing Li Xiangyi as a dead hero so he could work in the shadows of the jianghu instead?

This is merely speculation, contradicted by the fact that if Li Xiangyi had indeed done as such, unlike Shan Gudao, after his duel with Di Feisheng he has no reappearance in any surviving records or at any archaeological site. As well, Li Xiangyi should have had no motivation for committing to such a scheme, with even loyalty to Shan Gudao a stretch for putting all the lives of the Sigu Sect on the line. That being said, history has a way of surprising the present, and this theory may not be entirely ruled out. At any rate, Shan Gudao's survival is a baffling accompaniment to Li Xiangyi's (lack of a) burial, one which will hopefully receive clarifying answers in future archaeological developments.

Perhaps the strangest piece of the puzzle concerning the end of Li Xiangyi's life, however, is Di Feisheng. After the Jinyuan Alliance was scattered by the Sigu Sect, stories regarding Li Xiangyi declared him dead and disappeared. Yet not unlike Shan Gudao, he became known in the jianghu once more about ten years later, witnessing the Nanyin's attempted coup and living long after. His tomb remained untouched, and was excavated eight years ago as part of the greater Tianji Mountain site project. The location of Di Feisheng's tomb is surprising, not only because it directly links him to the powerful and wealthy He clan of Tianji Manor, but also because he was buried next to their sole young master during the Xi Dynasty, Fang Duobing.

The son of financial minister Fang Zeshi and engineering master He Xiaohui, Fang Duobing became a notable youxia travelling the jianghu in the emperor's name, assigned in the wake of the attempted Nanyin coup. According to palace records, he was also betrothed to Princess Zhaoling, although the marriage agreement was eventually formally dissolved. What is otherwise known of Fang Duobing was his admiration of Li Xiangyi, having styled himself as a follower and disciple of him during his youth. As well, one eye-catching artifact among Fang Duobing's burial goods was a preserved wooden replica of a blade, with Li Xiangyi's name carved near the hilt. Likely a children's toy, prized and kept safe throughout Fang Duobing's life.

The exact nature of the relationship between Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing is not entirely certain, but it must have been a very close one, for Di Feisheng to have the privilege of burial on the Tianji estate. This topic justifies future study for our understanding of the Tianji He clan, already known in prior generations for its socially subversive relationships, but pertinent to Li Xiangyi is that the man whose most infamous act was to kill him, was laid to rest beside one who revered him. Why was there such a bond between these two figures, if the stories of Li Xiangyi's death have any truth to them? Did Li Xiangyi really die by Di Feisheng's blade? Did Li Xiangyi's empty tomb, plausibly signifying Di Feisheng's innocence, alter his relationship with Fang Duobing? Or indeed, did Li Xiangyi, the man himself, have a part to play in this?

No traces of him from this time remain in the archaeological record, true. But this should not be taken to mean without doubt that he was not alive then at all.

The discovery of Li Xiangyi's tomb has been an exciting development for studying this era of the Xi Dynasty, but it has also outlined doubt in areas of one man's life that were previously taken as likely facts. Li Xiangyi's tomb is scarcely fitting for his name as a founding sect leader, built more for the sake of its existence than anything else, and there was no body sealed inside to begin with. In addition, Shan Gudao— someone dear to Li Xiangyi— established a precedent of faking his death. Di Feisheng, known across the jianghu for killing the man, held a close bond with someone later in life who had personally looked up to Li Xiangyi, and so he may not have been fully responsible for Li Xiangyi's death to begin with.

What truly happened to Li Xiangyi, resulting in a tomb such as this? The past holds the answer, knowing things that we do not. Hopefully the future of archaeology will continue leading to new discoveries, and allow us to more completely understand the legend that was Li Xiangyi.

#this is probably a better archaeological research paper than the one i wrote on sanxingdui a few days ago #anyways hi yes. i just impulse wrote a fake archaeological paper for fun. enrichment. whatever #also i tried not to sound too pop culture archaeology in this #to any other anthropology or archaeology majors. if it comes off that way i am sorry </3 it's past 4am rn #mysterious lotus casebook #li xiangyi #di feisheng #fang duobing #ashton writes fic #difang #<- to any difang shippers just sit with me for a bit and think about these two being buried together

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fangomango · 5 months

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In THIS scene, I want you guys to know this...dispite leaving the troll tree...he built the bunker in hope that his brothers would come back and find him.

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therewillbenoromance · 26 days

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reasons i stay alive

friends

family

if i die i cant listen to chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to chonnys charming chaos compendium by chonny jash

if i die i wont be around to listen to cccc vol. 2 by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to the will wood power hour

if i die i wont be able to listen to the thd power hour

if i die i wont be able to listen to the chonny jash power hour

if i die i wont be able to listen to the tim minchin power hour by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to the before. by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to fine im fine by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to 20XX by chonny jash

of i die i wont be able to listen to gothic whore or the novel lyric hunt by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to the moss by cosmo sheldrake cover by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to aint no rest for the wicked by cage the elephant cover by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to heal by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to kk crushin by chonny jash

if i die i wont be able to listen to kk cruisin by chonny jash

#can you. can you tell i like chonny jash.#chonny jash #cj #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cccc #im so normal :3 (shaking violently)#found this in drafts #i wrote it at like midnight a few days ago ???#ethan's yapping again

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ahfrickenfrick · 2 months

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tim is a boygenius queer

cass is a mitski queer

steph is a penelope scott queer

i will not be taking questions at this time, thank you <3

#this came to me at three am a few days ago and finally wrote it down #and i will absolutely take suggestions though tbh #i just love connecting characters to songs/artists tbh #dc comics #dc #tim drake #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #queer #LMFAO #i mean tim is canonically bi #but also #stephcass #red robin #black bat #spoiler

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romanticatheartt · 6 days

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You know why I love Feysand? One of the reasons is because there's a balance between them. In a way they complete each other.

Feyre is all forgiveness, love and a pleaser.

But Rhysand on the other hand is all revenge, hate and never forget.

Whenever he's drowning in hatred for himself, for people who wronged his loved ones, she's there to pull him up and shower him with love, respect and reminding him of goodness.

And whenever she is being too forgiving to the point she's forgetting herself or to put herself first, he's there to bring justice and be a shield for her from the injustice of it all.

That's why this is one of my favorite scene of them:

He's saying he can't forgive anyone who wronged her. But she remembers the ones who wronged him and notices he doesn't care about himself, his hatred for himself won't allow it.

She's saying he has to forgive at some point. He's there to remind her that maybe it's okay to admit that some people have made her suffer.

It's this back and forth between them. It balances them.

He's always self sacrificing himself to keep his loved ones safe, to make them comfortable, to be a shield. And Feyre came to his life, saw right throw all of them and let him to burden her with some of those duties he put himself up for them.

Sometimes it's a wrong trait but it's never out of malice.

And she is always too forgiving, putting everyone else first, always backing down when some times she needs to back up for herself and she let herself to forget them. But he won't, he will remember, he'll defend her if it's needed and when someone crosses a line, he's there to remind them to back down.

Sometimes she let people take too much from her and it might hurt her in the process. A wrong trait of her.

They're the definition of "I will give my love for the both of us" and "I will give my hatred for the both of us"... does that make sense?

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echoesofaheart · 11 days

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thinking about time loops

time loops where you are fully in control. you decide when you return to the start, you can choose to stop the loops whenever you please (or you could, if the loops weren't the only thing keeping everyone alive). you learn everyone's problems, and you solve them. you find out how to save the world, too. but you can't do both. it is physically impossible for you to save the world and give everyone their perfect ending; there just isn't enough time. you witness a marriage and know you have no choice but to tear it away from them, leaving them no better off than when you met them. you can only save the world and hope its people can figure out the rest

time loops where you have no idea why it's happening, but there has to be a way out, right? (there is a way out, but not for you) you struggle to make it through, trying anything you can think of. but in the end you cannot escape, you can only pass the burden on to someone else

time loops where you can do whatever you want. you have all the power in the world. you aren't the first, you aren't the only one who knows, but only one can hold this power. you try and try and try and figure out how to get your perfect ending, and its great. but you can always rip it away, just to see what happens. and you do. maybe you do so multiple times, destroying the world over and over again. everything is just ones and zeroes, after all. the one who you inherited (stole) the power from talks to you, describing how he learned everything there is to know about anyone, and you look at him and see the apathetic creature in front of you (and you know you're the same). when you get bored, you decide to leave them on a happy note, their best possible ending (to assuage the guilt you feel)

time loops where you can do everything right, and still end up back at the start. doing everything right is part of the loop, reaching the peak of your prosperity and happiness only means the breaking point is looming over your shoulders. why do you still try to save yourselves, if you know you'll always end up back there? (because you all deserve to be happy, even if it isn't permanent)

#legend of zelda #legend of zelda majora's mask #loz mm #undertale #in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #chonny's charming chaos compendium #cccc #even though isat has the shortest paragraph i am very insane about it i assure you #also its very clear what part of mm left an impact on me lmao #(found this in drafts. p sure it was wrote a few days/a week ago. its good so im posting it)

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itsjaywalkers · 2 months

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offering you guys this because i have to start getting ready for work but this specific moment has been on my mind almost all morning and i don't wanna lose my mind alone

“Well, you could still be civil,” Regulus mumbles, mouth twisting. “You’re older than him, and Barty would get bored of trying to provoke you if he stopped getting a reaction out of you.” “Why do I have to be the one to make the effort, huh?” James asks. “Why does he get to continue being a twat, while I have to—?” “Because I’m asking you to.” James closes his mouth with a loud clack, jaw clenching a moment after and something ugly clawing at this chest. Both of them seem to be holding their breaths, and Regulus’ shoulders seem as stiff as James feels his own to be. “That’s not fair,” he murmurs in a low voice, what might be a warning lying underneath. “I never claimed to be.” Regulus shrugs, feigning an indifference James knows isn’t there. He can’t even hold his gaze. “I’m always doing shit for you. Can’t you do this one thing for me?” “That’s not fair,” James repeats, a bit louder, a ringing in his ears. “Jamie,” Regulus presses, softly and mouth nearly curved into a pout and James’ sight gets a bit blurry around the edges. “Why?” he questions in a croak. “You’ve never minded that much. Or at least, not enough to do this to me. And you know the kind of stuff he says to me, the way he’s always fucking asking for it, I really don’t get why you—” “Because I don’t want my boyfriend and my best friend to constantly be at each other’s throats.” Regulus clamps a hand over his lips as soon as he finishes the sentence, but it’s too late. It’s there, hanging between them, heavy and ugly and impossible to ignore. The ringing in James’ ears has become unbearable. He wants to unsee it. Wants Regulus to let out a cackle, tell him it was a joke, take it back. Wants to curl into a ball on the floor, like he used to do when he got upset as a kid, and cry his eyes out. He wants to beg. He wants to destroy. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. The floor tilts under James’ feet, and he feels himself stumble. He’s not even standing. “What?”

#i think i should be allowed to stay home and write #instead of doing today's closing shift #fic series: nothing happens #(i wrote this scene a few days ago and it was 3am and i haven't edited it . pls excuse any mistakes)#(and how messy it is)

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critterofthenight · 5 months

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it might sound weird that i had my self-esteem boosted by ofmd, but it's true. because, for example, it's a bit silly, but before this show and its fandom i never thought that i'm gonna think of my brown eyes as anything else but boring, but now i start to really like them. because the appreciation for various body types makes me appreciate my own body more.

because it gave me the courage to buy things that the people around me call childish but make me happy.

because while all the YA media that i consumed most my life acts like you should have saved the world and met your soulmate by 16, this show says that it's never too late to start something new.

because it screams "you're not unlovable" and "you will find someone who accepts and loves you the way you are" over and over again, and i need to hear these messages more than anything, even if i can't really internalize them just yet.

this is one of the main reasons why even though this fandom has its problems (oh, it has plenty), i will always be grateful for being part of it.

#i wrote this post 2 weeks ago #its been sitting in my drafts since then bc i didnt dare post it #but after the last few days i feel like it really has to be said #im so grateful for this shows existence #✩‧₊˚#our flag means death #ofmd #save our flag means death #save ofmd #renew as a crew

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mihai-florescu · 1 year

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gay rep be like “kyaaaaaah!!! i like a boy but… im a boy >////<?!?!” meanwhile queerbait is like “You pretended to get close to me, pretended to grant my wishes, all while preparing to betray me at the most effective time. You estimated when i would love both you and fine deeply, when i most certainly would not wish to part ways with you... and then you'll fade away, as if you were nothing more than a mirage, abandoning that which could have survived if given only a single drop of water. The moment that i yearn for you and pine for you - the moment that i realize i've fallen in love with you - you'll disappear from my hands. Just like the bluebird of happiness... By your separation of what was once a unison, you are dealing me a fatal wound - just as if our souls were entwined within the same form. Congratulations! Just as you wished, you've accomplished your revenge, Hibiki Wataru of the Five Oddballs! I was so happy I had also forgotten - just like those other foolish people. But you're right, the one who called you my enemy was me, myself. You are my enemy. You have been from the moment we met, to this very second." "...Is that your interpretation? Even though you have been closer to me than anyone else during this past school year? This is a great shame, Eichi."

#i wrote this all by hand btw wiki didnt let me copy paste for some reason #i also dont think wataei are queerbait but i saw this format as a f.yolai post a few days ago and i Had to make a wataei one #enstars #wataei #ensemble stars

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soranker · 6 months

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hi….! any chance we can see your art process ? it’s fine if not! i was wondering if u do a sketch before your lines or you just skip directly to lineart? your art is very beautiful!

HI!!! AUGGHHHJHH THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH T__T my art style is kinda simple imo so my process is pretty bare-bones ^^;; there's not rly much too it!! it also kinda changes depending on how uhhhh lazy im feeling in the moment HAHA

probably around half of my drawings are straight to line art bc they're rly just doodles or things i decide to draw without any planning (but also im kinda impatient so i try to skip the sketching step if i can LOL...). but if i DO have a specific pose in mind for a drawing, i'll start with a sort of mannequin sketch or loose pass, then depending on how messy it is, ill either do the lineart pass on the layer on top or duplicate the sketch and then clean it up.

and then my coloring process is not sophisticated at all i just create a new layer and then paint bucket tool away LMAOOOO

here's an example of a drawing where i did sketch first ^_^

#clarification on the second image: usually when i make changes to the sketch i just go straight to lineart rather than doing a second pass #which i what i did for this drawing. i just like to minimize how many sketch passes i do (again bc i am impatient and lazy lol)#but also bc personally i get frustrated when my lineart doesnt turn out like my sketch so the solution my brain came up with is to..#...skip sketching i guess LMAO;;#idk if this was helpful or not AHGHAAH my process is rly nothing fancy and there's not much to show T_T;#ALSO OMFG IM SOOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO GKJFHDJG THIS WAS SENT LIKE A MONTH AGO I THINK T_____T #i saw this when i got off the plane coming home from a trip and then i remembered it a few days later #but then in the middle of writing my answer i left to eat dinner and forgot to save so when i came back the page refreshed #and deleted everything i wrote T____T AND THEN IFORGOT ABT IT AGAIN

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rogueonestan · 1 year

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two sides of the same coin

summary: when joel comes home late one evening, the first thing he seeks is your embrace.

word count: 2.3k

masterlist | ao3

Joel was exhausted.

He was beyond tired and just walking down the long hallway to your shared apartment used the amount of energy he had left. The only thing that motivated him was knowing you were waiting for him behind those doors.

So, he forces one foot in front of the other. The walk seems to be never-ending, almost like he’s been walking for hours now. By the time he reaches the apartment, Joel’s head leans forward and rests against the cool wood of the door as the feeling of pure exhaustion finally takes over his body. A heavy sigh leaves his lips as he closes his eyes, finally giving in to the call of sleep his body so desperately needs. The events of the day finally begin to settle in his body.

On the opposite side of the door, you were currently resting on your bed for the night as you were reading a book Joel had gifted you a while back. He had given it to you randomly one day, and the gesture gave you such a joy you hadn’t felt in a long time. The simple gesture resulted in a large smile being plastered across your lips for the rest of the night. You were about to flip to the next page when you heard a soft ‘thud’ at the door.

You didn't think much of it at first. You brushed it off as one of your neighbors slamming their door in the distance or something along those lines, but there was a feeling in your belly that told you something was wrong. You eventually put your book on your bedside as you unraveled yourself from your layers of blankets, making your way across the apartment.

The sight on the other side of the door surprised you. When you cracked the door just enough to see what the source of the sound was, you were greeted by the sight of a half-asleep Joel currently resting on the door frame. Your head pokes out far enough so that Joel could see you.

“Hi, baby.” The grogginess already prominent in his voice shows just how tired he was. The way his words slurred, his body slumped against the door, his eyes barely fluttering open when he saw you, they all tell you just how exhausted he is. The adorable sight puts a smile on your face.

You manage to wiggle your way out of the small creak of the door and you’re quick to wrap your arms around his torso so that he can get inside and get the rest he’s in desperate need of. When doing so, Joel manages to shove his face in the crook of your neck. “Let’s get you inside.” You tell him as you guide him in the apartment.

You softly kick the door behind you as you begin to guide Joel in the direction of the bed, but the feeling of Joel’s stubble rubbing on your exposed skin stops you in your tracks.

A mumbled ‘no’ falls from his lips, along with the hot breath fanning across your neck as a deep sigh leaves Joel’s lips. His body sways the slightest in the direction of the nearby couch that’s only a few steps away. You understand what he’s silently asking for and guide him in the direction of the couch.

It didn’t take much effort to guide him on the makeshift bed. His head hits the stuffy pillow that almost feels like air in his current state. The soft cushions beneath him cause a sigh of relief to leave his lips as he closes his eyes.

You leave his side temporarily so that you could grab a blanket that kept you warm just a minute or two ago. The warm sensation coming from the blanket lures Joel further into his sleepy state when you drape the material over his body. It probably doesn’t help with the fact that the material has the familiar scent of you. When your body turns to head in the direction of the kitchen so that you could prepare a plate of food from some leftovers you made earlier, a light grip on your wrist stops you.

“Don’t go.” Joel lazily mumbles to you.

A soft smile appears on your face. His eyes remained closed and you could tell that he was beginning to drift off already. “I wasn’t going anywhere. I was just going to make you a plate of food, you need to eat.”

A moan of disapproval leaves his lips. A few mumbled words that you can't catch leave his lips but the only thing you’re able to understand are the words ‘don’t leave.’ His grasp on your wrist never leaves, only loosening to the point where it’s barely there, but never disappears. You eventually cave in to his request and lift his head enough so that it could be resting on your lap when you sit, eventually tossing the pillow on the nearby floor in the process.

It was a favorite position for the two of you after a long day. One of you would already be sitting on the couch when the other came home, and the feeling of seeking comfort in the other always helped to unwind. It didn’t necessarily have to be from pure exhaustion, just like it was today, but rather, after a shit day where nothing went right or it was simply wanting to seek comfort from your partner.

Your fingers instinctively roam through Joel’s hair as soon as he gets himself comfortable in his new position after he flipped on his side. The side of his face buries itself in your thighs, his nose begins to nudge itself against your leg as you continue your actions. You know the calming sensation is already beginning to get to him when a sigh of relief leaves his lips. The continued action of running through his hair and the occasional scratching at his scalp helps to remove the stresses from the day. It was barely a few minutes that passed by when Joel felt himself beginning to drift off.

“Is there anything I can do for you? There’s some leftovers in the fridge that I can reheat for you.” You offer to him as your hand drifts down to his bicep, gently rubbing and massaging the area.

He simply shakes his head. “No, this is plenty. Thank you.”

“Of course.” You tell him as you continue rubbing up and down his arm.

To the outside eye, the scene happening in the living room of your apartment would seem normal, something that would happen on an everyday occurrence, but you know better. It took a long time for the relationship you have with Joel to get where it is today. There were a lot of fights in the beginning. Arguments on what kind of a relationship you have, if what you had was more than just physical.

Your relationship was similar to a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship at first- you both worked jobs together when Tess offered you one, long conversations being shared during your travels, and then eventually grew physical after Joel had suggested it one night. It was merely supposed to be a way to alleviate the stress from the day, just partners seeking comfort in the other, but then it grew to be eventually more.

It even took a while after that for there to be the level of trust that you currently have in one another, mainly because you both have suffered heavy losses over the years and couldn’t bare the thought to lose the other. Joel wanted to take things slow at first, but that eventually grew to living together only a handful of months later.

Since then, you were able to see a side of him you had seen before. He was kind. He was loving. He was caring. He asked you about your day and looked forward to every detail (even how boring you thought it was.) He comforted you when you told him about a bad day you had, sometimes there was even dinner prepared when you walked through the door.

It was those days you both looked forward to the most- the simplicity of sharing a meal together. It doesn’t happen as much as you would like, mainly because of your busy lifestyles, but when they do happen, you both cherish it. Neither of you knew when the next time you will be given this opportunity will be, so you took advantage of it.

The normalcy of spending the evening together was the stepping stone in which Joel put his full trust in you. It’s been such a long since he’s felt what he feels for you. It reminds him of a time where the world wasn't filled with one tragedy after another. The four walls of your apartment gives him a way to escape from all of that. Within those walls, it’s a place where Joel can forget about everything and just be with you.

Most nights you spend together are usually filled just being in each other’s presence. You’ll prepare dinner as Joel begins to unwind for the day. Other nights, you’ll already be in bed and Joel will crawl himself into bed as he wraps his frame around yours.

It’s those moments he cherishes the most. Just being with you, safe in his arms, is more than enough to make up for the horrors he’s seen in his life. Being with you helps him with that.

You’re more than anything he could ever ask for. Always watching out for him, making sure he’s okay, that your home actually feels like a home rather than just a place where you sleep at night (which is what his previous place felt like.) Two sides of the same coin.

The four walls of your apartment felt like a place where you could actually build some kind of future together, which is something Joel never pictured himself wanting when the two of you met.

Sleep was still looming over his brain. The feeling of your fingers running themselves through his hair, and the occasional tugging on the ends, did not help. The soft humming falling from your lips was almost like a siren’s call for him to finally accept the sleep he’s been longing to all day long.

As much as he wants to cave in, to allow himself to get the sleep he needs, Joel doesn’t want this moment to end. Once he closes his eyes, this’ll be over then he will have to work yet another long day. His head tilts the slightest to catch a better glimpse of you and the sight in itself is enough for him to fall in love with you all over again. A smile was smeared on your face as you continued your actions, you were so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed Joel’s gaze was now on you.

The moment you do, concern fills your eyes. “What is it? What’s wrong?” You ask. Your fingers no longer roam through his hair and now gently caress the high points of his cheekbone.

‘Thank you’ is all he manages to say to you. There’s so much more that he wants to say, needs to say, but he can’t seem to form the words.

“Of course. After everything you’ve done for us, it’s the least I can do.” You tell him.

He wants to tell you how grateful he is for you to be in his life, how you were the light in his life, how your kind nature helped him see the world in a different (more positive) way for the first time in years, but he settles for weaving his fingers with yours. It’s difficult to form words with how tired he is.

Your eyes glance from your now intertwined fingers, to the look in his eyes that tells you more than any set of words ever could, then squeeze his palm in response.

You know words don’t come naturally for Joel, or expressing how he feels. It bothered you at first, but you eventually came to the realization that Joel expresses the way he feels for you by the things he does for you. He’ll make you dinner one night or clean up around the apartment when he knows you’ve been stressed lately, or hear you rant for as long as you need when you’ve had a bad day.

He shows his care and devotion to you in a different way from most. He’ll hold you in his arms when you need him the most. He’s the rock you need at that very moment, and this is the least you could do in return.

You know it’s nothing in comparison to the sacrifices Joel has made for you in the past, but you’ll gladly do it after everything he’s done for you. You just hope you bring him as much comfort as he brings you on an everyday basis.

The feeling of you roaming your hands all over his body is what eventually lures him to sleep. Your hands roam whatever they could reach. They start from the roots of his hair but not before you gently tug on the ends, then gravitating towards his shoulders as you gently massage the area as a way to unwind the layers and layers of knots that formed from the events of the day. An audible moan leaves his lips.

The stresses of the day finally leave his body as his face nuzzles deeper into your lap. Your hand eventually gravitates towards his arm, moving up and down as a way to relax him further.

Your hand eventually makes its way home to the top of his thigh while the other hand remains on the back of his neck, tugging on the ends of his hair ever so gently. One of Joel’s hands intertwines with the hand of yours that’s pressed on the nape of his neck. Your fingers intertwine in the process, and Joel begins to feel himself drift off.

The last thing he hears before he finally drifts off is a soft confession from you, followed by a soft peck on his cheek. “Thank you, Joel, for everything.”

#just some domestic fluff i wrote a few days ago enjoy <33 #my writing #tlou #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo #the last of us #the last of us imagine #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller fic

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