#I wish I was more productive
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The Neurodivergent Struggle of Not Being Able to Do Anything All Day Knowing We Have A 3pm Appointment
Neurodivergent_lou
#autism#actually autistic#waiting mode#i procrastinate too much#I worry about so many things#I wish I was more productive#feel free to share/reblog#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#Neurodivergent_lou (Facebook)
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Me: I really should focus on writing.
Also me: Well, that's one sentence done. I deserve a little scroll on Tumblr.
#procrastination#ao3 writer#writeblr#adhd problems#i wish i was more productive#why is writing so hard#even though#it's the only thing i want to do
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to preface this post i am anti-advertising i think we should explode the entire industry but it's sooo funny when you people make posts like "and they don't even work!!" like. sorry to be the bearer of bad news but yes they do. that's why we have to put up with so many despite everyone hating them and thinking its annoying. because they actually work really well and make a shit load of money
#it actually would be way better if they didnt work and made no money bc businesses would abandon them#this isnt like stocks where everythings abstract and is essentially gambling (i dont understand stocks)#like ppl in the ad industry create things. that make a tangible and quantifiable impact on the business#which is then used in further ad planning. it is NOT all smoke and mirrors#like its fake in that the industry is not providing a necessary service the way like. grocery stores are#but its not the level of fake where everything is abstract like theres deliverables#moreover there is an extensive body of academic work specifically on how to make ads more effective#ALSO i think some of u views ads like. as if they have a win condition. which is you buy product#but in current advertising this is pretty rare and comparatively ineffective#which is why you see MANY ads which dont seem to be selling anything in particular. or which have nothing all to do with the product#the 'win' condition for THAT kind of ad is something more like 'viewers remember our name'#like. ex i would say ads for temu have not been effective on me bc i havent bought anything from them#but temu probably thinks they were SUPER effective on me because i talked abt them like 5 different times at work#and i do in fact know exactly what the company does and what they sell#and they were able to capitalize on the reputations of existing companies (wish shein etc) to build their own brand#good idea generator
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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my farmers profile 🥳
#sdv#stardew valley#ain't she cool#sdv farmer#procrastination at it's finest#i have an assignment due tomorrow but here i am spending my time on this because anything to not be productive#she married shane but i see it more of a best buds situation#i just kinda wanted him in the house i think he's cool 🤷🏻#wish there was a way to invite people to be your roommate without marrying them lol#i'm playing vanilla because i play the same save between 2 devices and i don't wanna download mods n shit on my college laptop#i'm in year 2 i just wanna play non stop but i can't with college 😢#down to my last 3 weeks though! and i have no exams 💪🏻#i see i have asks but i haven't looked at them yet and probably won't til the weekend.. sorry
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I really do think everything is going to work out, so much care has been put into this project, both by creators and admins, a restructure is disruptive short term but so incredibly necessary for the long term continuation of the server. It’s clear everyone working on the project believes in what they’re doing, and it’s unambiguously a good thing that going forward everyone will be fairly compensated for their efforts.
#qsmp#on a personal level however if there is ONE more situation that is difficult short term but productive for the future I’m going to SCREAM#it’s been literally on a weekly basis for a month straight I’m exhausted#I wish we could jump forward to when things are better without sitting through the ugly in between#but! not how life works! no way forward but through and all#however unrealistic it is I just want everyone to be happy. surely we’ll get there eventually
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#dahlia hawthorne#ace attorney#phoenix wright#dahlia x phoenix#alexa play dark red by steve lacy#my art#since i dont want to make a dedicated post let me use my notes to vent about how much i love dahlia conceptually and how much i wish AA +#writers weren't sexist#dahlia was given the shittiest set of cards when she was a kid and she was a victim of grooming by that terry loser#she is CONSTANTLY objectified and sexualised and i think her design as a skinny young looking individual makes it even more distasteful#but i think it works if the writers could have done something with that#what i love about dahlia and phoenix's relationship is the contrast - phoenix needs to see people as innocent before jumping to help them v#dahlia who has if you think about it is innocent to a degree given how fucked up her childhood was#dahlia could have been a great case study into compassion for phoenix as she has hurt him directly but in his role as a lawyer he has to se#past certain flaws so justice can be served#and it can PUSH his understanding of what is “guilty”#yes dahlia killed people but also i choose to believe her worldview was severely warped by her enviornment and she's a product of it#or if they wanted to make her a villain and stick with it i think as a rival ro phoenix she should have been a cautionary tale#of what happens when you never learn to move beyond the shitty hand youve been dealt with and live non judgementally#anyways ^_^
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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Things I loved about Some Theater Company's production of Ride the Cyclone
-i didn't have super high hopes because it was at this tiny community theater in the middle of nowhere but OH MY GOD IT WAS INCREDIBLE
-the cast came around and told everyone that there was going to be a loud noise at the end so that no one would be too shocked which i thought was very considerate
-before the show started the cast (minus jane) was kind of milling about in character and it was so much fun to watch
-mischa was just on his phone the entire time and at one point before it started noel tried to take it from him and mischa flipped him off
-ocean was dragging constance to see a bunch of posters
-like literally dragging
-mischa and ricky were kind of like bro-ing together it was funny
-ocean and noel were standing in like the exact same stance while bickering with eachother it was so funny
-V I R G I L
-karnak was really cool and funny
-uranium suit was so good omg i got chills at the build yourself a funeral pyre part
-when karnak showed them the other side they all RAN for it
-noel was physically restraining ocean to get her not to go through
-talia was playing in the background during mischa's catchphrase
-i might be wrong but i'm pretty sure when karnak first started controlling them that mischa tried to fight against it
-when jane showed up was just sdjsjms
-jane looked kind of like a ragdoll but had more the posture and mannerisms of a porcelain doll it was really cool
-during her catchphrase she literally had constance in a chokehold and was just kind of like petting her head
-constance started crying
-ricky almost tried to comfort jane after her introduction
-all the girls had bows around their necks and ocean and constance's were black but jane's was red
-"ohmigosh ricky you can speak!!" "that's NOTHING watch this." *little tiny jump*
-mischa was so happy for ricky when he started talking
-"HOW CAN SHE HAVE SPEECH FOR THIS⁉️⁉️" like bro was furious
-during oceans monolog literally no one was paying attention
-like the entire choir (minus jane) just went to the back of the stage and started playing rock paper scissors
-mischa called ocean a bitch in the middle of her speech
-at the end of her speech the choir faked clapped for her and when karnak said she was conceding they started full on applauding
-AAAA WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS
-the cast came out into the audience sometimes
-virgil and karnak were both chilling in the box together (electricity is real😍)
-ocean needed constance's help to get down from the human pyramid
-when karnak revealed that it was a group vote everyone sort of looked away kind of sympathetic and ocean realized she wouldn't win except for noel he looked right at her and started grinning
-it was my cousins BORTHDAY
-jane was literally constantly trying to hug constance
-"noel i love you!!" and he BOLTED like he tried with all his might to run away from her
-ricky quite literally did not have an attention span bro was always staring off into space and paying no attention to anything
-during the nativity scene noel used his tie to mime hanging himself and then constance grabbed him by the tie and YANKED him forward
-"OR we can just go to the manger JOSEPH😡"
-noel tried yet again to take mischa's phone because he wasn't listening to his monolog
-the monique dress was so pretty omg
-and instead of typical heels she had these kick ass heeled boots
-constance and ocean started slow dancing in noels lament
-when noel and mischa started making out the entire audience started cheering it was so funny
-"that was dope yooo!! 😃😃"
-ocean was so annoyed with noel
-ricky was SO engaged with the improve scenario
-he got very excited when constance brought up doing and/or dealing recreational drugs
-mischa called ocean a bitch several more times. both in ukrainian and english
-he was also like constantly flipping people off
-mischa was trying not to cry when karnak told his past☹️
-collective cheering from the audience when mischa took his shirt off
-talia was so beautifully done omg
-i'm pretty sure that there was also a complete separate actress for talia (who also played virgil i believe?)
-talia's dress was so beautiful
-ocean and constance danced together again
-at the end talia left and mischa ended up hugging noel (he was very confused and noel looked absolutely thrilled)
-noel tried one more time to take mischa's phone but this time he let him
-they all had a group hug instead of just noel and mischa hugging
-noel and mischa still had a one on one hug omg
-oh boy space age bachelor man
-"or i could tell you about the time i was a superhero sex god on a cat planet!!" "😨"
-horrified looks from everyone in the room
-sabm was so wonderfully weird
-oh my god the costume change.
-i don't know how i can describe it besides train conductor meets gay sparkles
-like it actually had a hat that looks like the ones train conductors wear
-also you could totally see his dick
-it reminded me of david bowie in the labyrinth
-during his speech afterwards he was like hiding his dick with the conductors hat
-when jane went "my turn!!" constance literally LEPT into mischa's arms like he was holding her bridal style for a hot second
-tbojd was so good omg it was haunting
-everyone gasped when the flying mechanism started
-the new birthday song ☹️☹️☹️
-happy birthday to hmm hmm and noel tried to finish the song before ocean shut him up
-ocean did the whole 1 2 3 thing then trial off and ricky just jumped in with "4!!"
-jane was so happy aaa
-she was soso excited about savannah with the greenest eyes
-when mischa called noel tragic they hugged again they were literally hugging all the time nischa is real
-ohh constance's monolog ☹️☹️
-this one lady kept laughing while i was trying not to sob
-sugar cloud was so amazing and happy and lovely
-the choreography was so silly
-nischa did the synchronized headbanging
-at the end constance thanked them all
-when ocean was deciding who to vote for everybody froze except for her and karnak
-aaa i almost sobbed
-it's not a game/it's just a ride was soso beautiful
-at the very end they all reached out towards the audience it was so incredible
#i found my new second favorite rtc production#i wish there was a slime tut☹️☹️#it was actually incredible#there was also so much more that i forgot#ride the cyclone#rtc#noel gruber#ricky potts#mischa bachinski#constance blackwood#ocean o'connell rosenberg#jane doe rtc#penny lamb#some theater company
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Commission for @help-im-a-gay-fish! ♪ Thank you a lot for all your support (*´꒳`*)♡
The illustration to her Greek Gods AU story Following Flower Petals ☆
Dream & Nightmare by jokublog
#zu art#zu commissions#comic#greek gods au#persephone!dream#hades!nightmare#dream!sans#nightmare!sans#dreammare#undertale#undertale au#utmv#the last one is here! >:D#and BOI it's themmm ♡#I wish I could illustrate more Gayfish's awwwsome ideas \(//∇//)\#since these two have a special place in my heart ;3#it was such a pleasure to work on this one! <3#truly a productive work that inspired both of us so stay tuned ;)
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not sure who might need to hear this or if it's just me that needs to, but i've had this thought for a bit and i wanna write it out
you are not a machine that exists to make art. you are a human being, and human beings need rest and breaks.
creative block happens. it's natural, and embracing it as part of the process is far better in the long run than stressing out over it.
we live in a world that emphasizes productivity above all else and needing to Make Something, but truly it is not the end of the world if you're not productive 24/7.
#multi makes text posts#also. even machines need breaks sometimes#nothing can run at 100% all the time#speaking for myself here#i get really antsy and irritable when i haven't done any art for a bit#it stresses me out. like a lot.#so like. I Get It. trust me i really do#and the same applies for writing; but it's a lot more pronounced with art#it's a hard mindset to escape. i am VERY aware of that#but idk. productivity isn't the end all be all of creating#and i wish that mindset wasn't so pushed a lot of the time
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i like macarons a normal amount
#macarons#washi tape#small business#not in production yet but will be soon. should have them maybe in march somewhere#art#stationery#the matching lanyard is already available though!! i believe i posted it here#its sooooo cute it makes me wish i had more opportunities to wear lanyards besides conventions
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phantom: an american musical by yeston + kopit photodump
#i would credit the pics if i knew their sources but alas i dont i just found them while scrounging around thru my collection of phantom pics#a couple are from the og production and i assume the others are from regional productions#i love this version so much i wish ppl talked abt it more#(pleaseeee please ask me about it)#erik#phantom of the opera#poto#erik the phantom#yeston and kopit phantom#phantom musical#christine daae
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Could you draw any of the swing cats maybe?
sure here's AJ and Patches :3
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what we do in the shadows is widely considered one of those shows that’s a comedy but the way tumblr talks about it makes it seem like a high drama or tragedy but it’s really like. a comedy with layers of deep tragedy right below the surface. the story and presentation is comedy-focused but there are so many events that are and are recognized by the narrative as being deeply tragic.
laszlo and colin robinson’s arc last season is a good example—laszlo’s close friend died and was replaced by an identical baby, whom laszlo then chose to raise as best he could and had to work through his own parental issues to do it well. then, when he felt the worst about it, when colin was a teenager and angry at the world and he hated laszlo for not being able to help him, he grew up. and he was colin robinson again, with no memories of laszlo raising him anymore, as if none of it had ever happened. of all the season 4 arcs this one was the most consistently dramatic, and laszlo ended the season devastated. and that’s only one arc
while it is true that wwdits is a comedy and people on tumblr do talk about it like it’s a tragedy, it is also the case that the tragedy is Right There. we don’t have to dig very deep to get there, and in many cases it’s a central aspect of the story. in a way this is due to its predecessor, the 2014 film, which was intentionally made to be a comedy with tragic elements, not one or the other
#comedy-with-tragic-elements is like a hallmark of taika’s stuff too#idk about jemaine’s because i haven’t seen a lot of his other stuff#if there’s one thing i would criticise it’s that i wish the show would hold on the emotional moments more#instead of moving quickly to a new joke#i think them not doing this is partially a product of the limitation of a 22 minute episode (they’d be better off with 40)#but also the writers could do this if they wanted and they have on some occasions#wwdits#wwdits fx#what we do in the shadows#cricket chirps
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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