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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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Turtles Catches Up With the Essential BLs: Bad Buddy Edition

[The Reasons and Gratitude: While QL has exploded in volume over the last half-decade, I’ve been juggling a career with making and feeding babies. Now that my kids are bigger, I’m catching up on the essential QL dramas. Big ups to @absolutebl’s encyclopedic lists that I use for reference, as well as the recommendations of many dear mutuals. For the Bad Buddy recommendation, I thank my forever darling, @the-nihongo-adventure! Thank you for reading my reviews of shows you’ve already watched! REALLY LONG POST COMING: caveat emptor.]

I’ve been thinking for days on how I should start this review. Bad Buddy has waylaid me with an emotional brutality (in a good way!) that I haven’t been able to shake for weeks. Couple that with a speedy education in the ways of Aof Noppharnach through Moonlight Chicken, and well, my middle-aged heart has taken a lot.

Before I dive in, I’d like to quickly cite the amazing @emotionallychargedtowel, who referenced Murray Bowen’s family systems theory in a post about pursuer-distancer couplings. Family systems theory posits that human behavior is shaped by the structure of the family unit as a complex social system. In other words: through spoken, unspoken, assumed, and expected demands, instincts, boundaries, and pulls/pushes, humans as individuals are conditioned to interact in society vis à vis how they learned to interact with others through their familial upbringings.

Why do I bring this up in regards to Bad Buddy? I haven’t even begun to plummet the sheer depth of analysis about BBS on Tumblr (I’m deeply impressed by the volumes of analysis by my new dear mutual, @telomeke-bbs, whose posts served as wonderful references while I was watching the show), so if I’m repeating popular analysis, I apologize.

But for me, BBS was rooted first and foremost in a study of intergenerational trauma, and how our two UNBELIEVABLE protagonists, Pran and Pat, battled expected roles and boundaries from their families/family systems and friends to end up together.

I know now, through Moonlight Chicken, that Aof is an utter master at layering themes together. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.

And I want to say upfront that while I want to be an objective reviewer of this show, I absolutely cannot be. While I’m thinking about Aof’s mastery of studying intergenerational trauma through the lens of a QL drama, my heart aches, in passionate subjectivity, about how important his work is for young Asians watching it. I only can wish, as a first-generation child of immigrants from South and Southeast Asia, that I had been able to watch these shows when I was growing up. If I had seen Asians making shows about intergenerational trauma through an Asian lens, about very progressive topics like same-sex relationships in Asia -- I would have known that there was a world of support and shared experiences for the kind of intergenerational trauma that I and my friends faced, when we all were growing up, Asian in America and elsewhere.

This was a terribly long introduction to say that while many other themes percolated throughout Bad Buddy (in typical Aof fashion, as I’m now understanding), including school dynamics, Thai queer culture, unrequited love, familial acceptance of same-sex relationships, and more -- that for me, in a very biased way, I HAD to see this show through the lens of intergenerational trauma. This show helped me to have hope that generations of continental and diasporic Asians will be better able to fend off these pressures through the medium of drama art.

So. My thoughts on Bad Buddy are rooted in a lens of intergenerational trauma. But what I also picked up on, vis à vis the boundaries I mentioned earlier emanating out of families as complex social systems -- is that Aof threw in a little (actually a lot) of David Hegel’s thesis-antithesis-synthesis framework as well. This framework allows for the criss-crossing of boundaries to come to a unified resolution -- and good lord, Bad Buddy came to that conclusion so INCREDIBLY well. The Hegelian framework was the means by which, I think, Aof could explore tearing down the deep-rooted effects of intergenerational trauma on the Asian society depicted in BBS.

Throughout the entire show, Pran and Pat danced around boundaries. At least at the start of the show, they never dared to cross the line between the two garbage bins in the front of their houses. These boundaries had been CREATED by Pran’s and Pat’s parents. And the boys were taught from birth -- you cross that line, and bad things will happen. Don’t play with the boy next door. Don’t fall for the kids next door. So: don’t get caught in front of us.

But Pat and Pran crossed the boundaries BEHIND their houses, BEHIND the VERY watchful eyes of their families, starting at a young age, and keeping that boundary-breaking a secret. Pran crossed a significant boundary by saving Pa from drowning.

But then they went to the same university, and new boundaries formed, between their arch-rival faculties. Pat sees that pressure and acts within it, defending his engineering homies against Pran’s architecture friends.

We saw in the first episode that it would be Pat’s family that would be the first to begin breaking those boundaries as adults -- but it wasn’t Pat who began that work. It was Pa.

I’ve always found it interesting that it’s younger siblings who often have the “easiest” time breaking hard-set boundaries and family codes. I know, because I count in that category (and I know this is an overgeneralization, but just roll with me for a sec). Younger siblings see the shit their older counterparts -- parents, sibs, whoever -- create and deal with. And younger sibs then can develop better ways of managing the pressures that come from that shit. Myself included, I’ve often seen younger sibs be the first ones to marry in family units, to have children, to get jobs, to move away from home, etc. Younger siblings often have the ability to say NO more easily than their older family members. It’s, I think, a natural occurrence to take place in a family system of multiple siblings.

So it’s Pa who says to Pat: promise me you won’t hurt Pran. Right off the bat, she asks for a breaking of a boundary that Pat, his parents, and the engineering faculty homies want to uphold. And Pat, being devoted to his sister, agrees to the promise -- and the whole confused dance between him and Pran as adults begins.

I LOVED this. The show needed an immediate impetus to break what could have been a groaning, stereotypical Romeo-and-Romeo paradigm. This wasn’t going to end in mutual suicide -- hell no, not in a Thai BL. This drama needed to go places. As well, for me, I think Pa was set up to be an indirect foil to the pressures that Pran faces later in the series, simply by way of BEING in the form of a younger sibling.

The repeated theme during the first few episodes that I latched onto was Pran saying to Pat, “things don’t end well when I’m close to you.” In episode 1, Pat retorts -- “at least you won’t get transferred this time around.” In episode 4, Pran repeats himself, and guess what happens? He sees Pat with Ink, and experiences the repeated trauma of unintentional rejection at the hands of Pat.

So, Pran feels like he’s learning his lesson, time and time again. He’s thinking -- I like Pat, I can’t help but like Pat. But my parents might be right. Bad things happen when this dude is around. My heart gets broken.

What’s the difference between Pran and Pat here? Pat can exist more carefree, open, instinctual. He can like people more openly. He can be honest with his feelings. WHY? Because he had a family support system while he was growing up that allowed him to take risks -- because he had a sibling, because he was the eldest son -- because he knew, through his family structure, that despite his behavior, that his family would be there for him. He was simply raised differently, in part because his family was slightly bigger, and his family had LESS to lose if they potentially lost Pat to a lifetime of disapproval. Pat can take risks, because he’ll still have Pa, even if he loses his parents.

When I think about Pran, through the lens of intergenerational trauma, I go back to the family systems theory. While I was talking about younger siblings earlier, Pran’s a totally different story. He’s an only child. He IS the BRUNT of the familial pressure to conform to everything his family wants him to be. He was raised that way, and no one can help it, if the family unit is a triad. If Pran disappears from his family because of their disapproval -- not only do they NOT have a son, but Pran HIMSELF doesn’t have a family. He has far more to lose. He feels he can’t take risks.

I am sure there’s reams of analysis about how understandable Pran’s reaction to his first kiss with Pat was. But I took his walk away from Pat to be that recognition. Pran simply could not believe in a future with Pat -- no way. Pran would lose everything he knew.

Hegel’s framework? This is Pran’s thesis: while I love Pat, I can’t have Pat, because if I have Pat, I’m crossing a boundary that should never be crossed. My world will fall apart. I need to walk away and deny that that kiss ever happened.

And what’s the antithesis here? I think, at this moment in the series, the antithesis IS Pat. It’s Pat’s queer revelation, and his ABILITY to just MOVE on his feelings. In just ONE EPISODE, y’all! In episode 5! SO FAST! (Come AWN, Pat, you WINNER, LOVE YOU.) But that’s Pat for you -- Pat, the antithesis of Pran, the guy who can move, because he has less to lose.

(Let me stop for a sec, stop the analyzing. THAT KISS. THE BEST EVER. NANON! OHM! COME AWN! AAAAHHHH!!!!)

So what does Pat do in episodes 6 and 7? He starts the first SYNTHESIS: he crosses that damn boundary and chases after his man. He goes to the zero-waste village, and -- as SO OFTEN happens in Hegelian thesis-based frameworks -- the guys go to the sea, to the water, to cross the water, to kickstart Pran’s antithesis to his life thesis, and to begin their synthesis together, their connection. (Remember Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse and crossing the river, woop woop!)

Like I said before -- not to be a huge fuckin’ nerd or anything, but whoops, too late -- I think the Hegelian framework allowed Aof to WRITE this script and leverage the familial boundary risks for the sake of the show. Because, as I wrote at length in my review of the Cherry Magic movie, taking these risks from the perspective of the Asian family unit is EEEENOOORMOUS. Legit, fam: Asian families WILL dump children. There is disowning. It happens. It’s KNOWN, in the backs of our minds, BAKED UNCONSCIOUSLY into our understanding of who we are as Asian individuals, that our families might give us up, because many of our families have overtly threatened it. Even if there isn’t active disowning, parents can passively judge you and be disappointed in you for the rest of your life, and you damn well know it.

Overgeneralization? Whatever you think. But I’ve experienced it. My friends have experienced it. Kurosawa knew it when he risks disownment to stay with Adachi in the Cherry Magic movie. I severely risked it when I, like, grew up -- when I wanted to date, to get engaged, to get married. I didn’t talk to certain family members for years. My siblings’ relationships were strained. All because I wasn’t falling in line with my family’s expectations for who I needed to be vis à vis THEIR expectations of me -- to stay home and let them dictate how to live my life (literally, not joking).

Instead of doing a typical Romeo-and-Romeo set-up, I think what Aof was doing here, by way of having Pat step out first to begin the boundary-breaking -- and we know now WHY Pat could do that, because of his family system ALLOWING him to be a person to take more risks -- is that he was demonstrating that positive change could happen, the trauma could be stopped, if the guys created family between each other. AOF IS SAYING: I’M GOING TO PROVE THAT THEY CAN STOP THE TRAUMA TOGETHER. I’m crying right now.

And before I get further, another note about Aof’s brilliance. He allowed us to see HOW COMPLICATED Pran is, before the real boundary breaking began. He allowed us to SEE that Pran COULD MAYBE BE OKAY with taking a risk -- vis à vis Pran’s love for music. God, I was SO STRUCK in the scene when Pran is writing the high school song with Pat in episode 5.

I think Pran’s not just talking about love here. I think, indirectly, he’s also talking about the risk of riling his family boundaries up.

(I want to note quickly that both Aof and Jojo Phukhaotong really leverage Nanon’s acting beautifully in these moments -- besides this music scene, there was Pran and Wai in the library talking about relationships and the school play, and in Dirty Laundry, Night meditates on music and love to a sleeping Neon. Nanon really nails this unwinding in his acting.)

I think Aof included these scenes of Pran meditating like this, because Pat couldn’t just hold Pran’s hand at the beach and sweep Pran away. That’s not how the Hegelian framework works. You gotta be ready, to be active, you gotta do the WORK, to reach enlightenment. The entire series shows Pran’s journey to acceptance about himself and about the fate he’ll have with Pat. We, as viewers, needed to see Pran be ready to do that. Sure, he has a forever crush on Pat. But we’ve now established the utterly enormous risks he faced -- more so than Pat ever needed to deal with -- if Pran’s family learned about Pran’s feelings, leanings, and ultimate decision to be with Pat.

We needed to hear, verbally, that Pran’s hesitation was real, that he was balancing in a very complicated way, all the risks he needed to consider. Maybe some people got frustrated at the high level of his complicated feelings, but I think the pace and plot made total sense. And, oh god -- the scene at the beach, where they touch hands and imagine a world where their parents aren’t fighting. Oh my god. AAAAAHHHH. Tears. Synthesis, baby, synthesis.

So then. The boundaries between the guys come down. They start getting kee-yoot. The games in episode 7, the help with the play in episode 8. It’s chef’s kiss, y’all.

But the boundaries come roaring back. The trauma resurfaces. Even while Pran contextualizes to Wai in the library -- “you can’t change the person or the time” when you fall in love -- what also doesn’t change is the world around them. The faculties still hate each other. Pat experiences familial rejection for the first time in his dad’s disappointment about the architecture play. The relationship is revealed. Wai rejects Pran. The seniors reject Pat.

(FAN BREAK: luv you, Aof, that gratuitous shirtlessness at the xylophone, LOVED IT, ::pointing to Aof::, LOVED IT.)

But. Episode 9 kicks in. Korn comes thru, MVP. (Yum, satay.) And I see something in Pran, when he approaches Pat at the bench at lunch.

I see Pran finally, truly, CROSSING HIS OWN LINE. Pran could have PANICKED at the revelation of their relationship to the school. He could have used it as an excuse to chicken out, to back away, again to cite that bad things happen when I get close to you, Pat.

But Pran didn’t do that. He holds Pat down, he steadies Pat. They hold each other down, because -- oh god, my chest is aching here, I’m tearing up -- in that moment, Pran’s recognizing that you need to be there for the family you’ve chosen and made. These are HIS NEW BOUNDARIES -- his new family system and unit. It’s his, and his alone.

Sure, we see in earlier episodes that part of Pran’s love language is nurturing, through cooking for Pat (and sometimes Pa, too, omg so cute), and that he learned that at the hands of his mother. But I saw something different in that simple scene at the lunch bench, after Pat got rejected by his seniors. I saw Pran’s confirmation that he was going to stick the landing of the synthesis, once and for all. That was when he wasn’t going to use any other excuse, ever again, to walk away from Pat, as others had begun to do to Pat.

And then we get the last three brilliant, BRILLIANT episodes of this already brilliant series. Let me set this up, because I think the way Aof did this, as yuzh, was incredible:

Episode 10: There are too many things about episode 10 to list in this already enormous post. I may have to write a separate post about how I think episode 10 was one of the greatest single episodes of a drama I’ve ever watched (the penultimate episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo also comes to mind).

In any case, the Hegelian framework comes roaring back. We’re nearing the end of the series, and we need to remember as to why we’re here, and how we got to this point. The episode served as a major reminder of Pran’s original thesis -- we learn the reason why the families were at war. We learn that the demands of the separation came from Ming and Dissaya. The boys come out to their folks. The truth of Ming and Dissaya come out.

We learn that Ming himself is a product of MAJOR INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA, from his father, so much so that he fucked up a major opportunity for Dissaya. Trauma on trauma on trauma. (Seriously relatable for almost all Asians with pressurized parents.)

And Pran -- PRAN -- TELLS HIS MOTHER, TO HER FACE, that it was HER traumatizing HIM that led HIM to be the way he IS. At the end of this episode, before he rejoins Pat, he finally confronts his mother, and begins his holistic antithesis for the final time.

The boys come back together at the end of the episode, and weep, and embrace. And Pat says: we’re getting the fuck out of here.

(Now’s a good time to link to a meme on intergenerational trauma that my cousins in SE Asia shared with me around the end of 2021 -- interesting timing that this was floating around the WhatsApps and LINEs of that period.)

Episode 11: Leaving. Antithesis. The sea. Crossing boundaries. Living their lives together.

Oh my god, my aching heart. Pat spending most of the episode insisting that they were going to live together, forever, in the village. The antithesis to their lives in Bangkok. Pran knowing better. Pat knowing it, too.

The fact that until the very last minute, the entire episode was spent in the village, meant SO MUCH TO ME. This episode gave the guys TIME to process THEMSELVES, and their decisions. Oh lord, tears on tears.

And: what did the guys do? THEY COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER. CREATING THEIR FAMILY TOGETHER. They were going to do it THEIR WAY -- and, AND, AND -- BREAK THE CHAIN OF TRAUMA that they both faced, as assigned and influenced by their parents, by leveraging their new family unit TOGETHER.

And who helped give them that oomph, that power? Who helped them get context to see that that work was WORTH DOING -- even if it wouldn’t end up changing their families?

Uncle Tong. The boys got to see that through Uncle Tong.

They got to see that one individual, or two individuals together, can’t change the world. The boys learned, indirectly, that they can’t change the world of their parents. But they can improve THEIR OWN WORLD.

Episode 12: SYNTHESIS.

When I was perusing the BBS tags for analysis, something I read piqued my interest: that the boys had to remain closeted to their families and friends.

I wouldn’t call it closeted. Instead, I want to guess what Aof was doing here.

I truly think Aof was showing compassion to the parental generation. It’s not the parents’ faults that they themselves were products of intergenerational trauma (peep the meme from earlier).

For me -- I’m an adult now, but I still carry the scars of my childhood -- I was disappointed not to see a bigger family resolution during my first watch of episode 12. But after a careful rewatch, I think Aof was being majorly realistic in his writing. These families weren’t going to come together in a finale, let alone in a day, let alone after DECADES of fighting.

Intergenerational trauma has to stop somewhere if you’re cognizant of it, and Pran and Pat’s parents weren’t cognizant of it. But: the guys certainly were. As we saw in the shots above, Pran himself CALLED OUT his mom for it in episode 10.

So I think I understand why Aof didn’t make a sparkling, holistically accepting ending out of this, because -- it was unrealistic. Ming and Dissaya still carry THEIR scars, and THEY need time to heal, too.

Their partners -- Pran’s dad and Pat’s mom -- are more ready for that change. They’re getting slightly caught up in the winds of change. Hell, even Pat’s mom says, “We are the adults” in episode 10 to Ming. Like Pa, Pat’s mom is demonstrating a little gentle nudge towards changing HER boundaries of the situation.

And the boys stated their stance at the end:

“Just like Uncle Tong said, we can’t change the world. All we could do was adjust to it, and live happily. We might not be able to change the people around us. BUT THEY COULDN’T CHANGE THE TWO OF US, EITHER.” [emphasis mine, obv]

I want to make one very last point that deeply touched my heart, and, I feel, confirms my theory about the boys making a new family unit together, complete with the boundaries of their choosing, and refusing to carry the trauma of their pasts. @telomeke-bbs wrote a lovely post, in part, about the meaning of Pran’s liquor gift to Ming. I totally agree with the analysis, and just wanted to add some cultural flavor.

Being an in-law in an Asian family structure means you show respect to your in-law elders. It’s just an unspoken, natural part of our being (and it helps if you like your in-laws). I’m married to a Westerner, but in many ways, I treat my Western in-laws with the same kind of respect as I would if they were Asian. So that means, I cook generously (they don’t expect me to do it, don’t worry -- I just like doing it, because it makes me feel like we’re family), and I serve up fine-ass cocktails (hell yeah). It’s fun, but it also makes me feel like I’m nurturing my extended family.

Pran gave the liquor gift to Ming, because....Ming is his family. Hey, Ming? Womp womp. You’ve got a son-in-law -- because Pran is taking on that role, despite your best efforts to reject that reality. And I see you, Ming, slowly, slowly, slowly begin to imagine that reality when you took a sip.

The reality is that when the boys became family to each other, they indirectly adopted each other’s families as their own -- because that’s just what happens in a relationship. And the liquor gift confirmed that. My heart SWELLED when Pran gave the gift to Pat, and I saw the duty-free bags in Pat’s family’s living room. How many times have I seen that scene in my life, when fam came back to visit from overseas -- scores of times. It meant so much. I’m going to bring a piece of overseas back to my family, even if my family, my in-laws, reject me. Maturity, motherfuckas. My man, Pran. Best son-in-law.

Aof took SO MUCH of what Asians expect about how our lives should be lived in this show, and absolutely turned it on its head. His SCRUTINY at what keeps adults back, at how adults raise children -- and about how children can CHANGE PARADIGMS, through love and partnership -- is CRITICAL COMMENTARY for young Asians, and young people around the world.

Oh, man. Do I have any more words? I’m all written out. If you got this far, thank you. This show WILL BE required viewing for my kids when they’re older. I want them to see what intergenerational trauma means to their Asian heritage. I want them to CALL ME and my hubs OUT for it. And I want them to know how they can be so strong, like Pat and Pran, to change the trajectory of their lives for the better.

*Tagging @bengiyo by request. <3

#bad buddy #bad buddy the series #backaof noppharnach #turtles catches up with thai bls #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #nanon korapat #ohm pawat #ohmnanon #intergenerational trauma #intergenerational trauma in asian societies #intergenerational trauma in asian families #david hegel #bad buddy meta #bad buddy the series meta #patpran #pran x pat #pat x pran #pranpat #aof noppharnach

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niko-jpeg · 5 months

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MOOT APPRECIATION

@vessel-posts-stuff I know you haven't been on that account in years, but I still wanted to include you. Thank you for introducing me to Tumblr and allowing me to make such wonderful friends. I think of you quite often <3

@v1vz-arttt We're moots on your old account, and while you didn't refollow me (?), I still love you!!!!!! Thank you for everything my good friend :)

@adorablemew Mew!!! Oh my god hi we haven't talked in forever. How did I get someone so cool to be my moot? Your art is incredible, your creations are wonderful, and thank you so much for putting up with me back in my previous Undertale fixation. You inspired me greatly.

@psycho-chair BITES YOU. You have been an inspiration for me forever at this point and I thank you for being just!!! YOU!!!! We need to chat more fr fr. You helped me through a rough time, no matter if you were aware of it or not. Also good to see another Crepic shipper here on the front lines. Sorta unrelated but I'm so glad my secret little otp has gotten a little more traction. You keep being you buddy grrrhshjfskjdhfdkjjksjkh <33333

@glitchysquidd Another instance of HOLY hell how did I get such a cool art moot???? You're really cool. I go feral over your art, whether youre aware of it or not. I love your vibe, your aesthetic, your everthing. Its so cool. You're so cool. A.

@thosegoodbois We don't interact much these days, but I still think of our conversations often. I like how unabashedly you you are. Its refreshing and fun and I still enjoy scrolling through your posts and seeing you on my dash. Tee hee.

@skyedancer2006 Hi hi!!!! We met because of a Secret Santa, and I'm happy we're moots. I love seeing you guys on my dash, and I love seeing the positivity yall bring to it all. Keep it up, and if I referred to you incorrectly, I am so sorry ack.

@bean-with-a-knife grabs your shoulders and shakes you. You are so. the most ever. We've been besties forever, and I'm so happy to have you as a friend. You keep me going, and encourage me when I'm not so sure, and you put up with my bullshit, and I absolutely love you big ol platonic kiss for you. Thank you for everything you've done for me.

@naaru304 HI!!!!!! You're so cool. I know we don't really talk but I really really like seeing you on my dash and you reblog all of the best stuff. YOUR ART IS SO EDIBLE ACK. Its so round and clean and just. Stuffs in my mouth and shakes it around and giggles cutely. I love it.

@p3-mochishira HI!!!!! Vamp you are such a moot. I love your edits and I love your ocs and I love your whole vibe. You light up my day and I'm so happy that we're moots. Big ol hug sent your way!!!

@queen-ofsunflowers oh my god you are such a cool author. And we're moot what. WHAT. AAAA!!!!! I really look up to you, and MnM is such a treasure I hold close to my heart. I look forward to whatever is in the future, and I wish you nothing but the absolute best in this coming year.

@mmmn-thirsty-for-vinegar Yet another cool incredible mutual I don't know how I landed with. Your art? incredible. The posing and lighting is immaculate. I love all of your art so much, and you're a big old inspiration foundtain haha. <3

@yoshikass HI!!!!!!!! I love your reblogs. I love the variety. I love everything. Your blog's vibe is also so much fun. You keep being you <33

@dollar-store-emo-413 Your brain is fascinating. Congrats on your freedom from our hell, and I wish you luck on your future /lh!! (for context we went to the same school)

@snowdoesthings Man. It's been forever and a half huh. I'm happy we're still moots, and I'm happy that we still kind of brush shoulders sometimes. I'm sorry you had to deal with 2020 me haha. Love you <3

@dexxeal Im in the walls of the Miku chruch btw can you come let me out I'm stuck.

@mhafanlol2000 Happy new year and I wish I'd see you around on HKRP more often ahah! See you in the new year :)

@cordycepsbian You're so cool. Like wow. I love everything about what you post. Your humor is so on point and your art is so skrunkly I'm obsessed.

@vivasharme Its so nice to see you again!!! I missed you a lot while you were away. I hope you're feeling better, and I can't wait to get back to talking soon. I'm gonna blow up your dms hee hee >:) /j

@someguyiguess23 Your art!!!!! Its so awesome I'm eating it and framing it and just. Nom. I hold the art you did of Nago dear to my heart. Your art is so shape!!!!

@christiankirbo Poyo

@mantis-on-a-table I adore your art so much. I have so many cool art moots but I especially love what you've got going on. Its so high quality and tickles my brain in such a wonderful way!!! Happy New Year!!

@extreme-exe water (you're a really great friend, never forget that!)

@wintar0 Hi!!!! We dont talk much but you're a wonderful moot. Best of wishes for the new year, and I can't wait to see more of you and your creations!!!

@drallion No, not for Drallion, for his creator! You've been such a delight in HKRP, I'm so happy I get to know you. <3333

@rentavoider Hi hi hi have fun on your trip to Italy and see you next year!!!

@crownne-prince !!!! HI!!!!Thank you for being such an incredible and encouraging moot. You really cheer me up and I love seeing your posts on my dash. Akechi is in your walls fun fact.

@lemmykirby Your art is so cool. I love the style and I love how its executed and bottom line I just. runs away with your art tee hee

@jayjar100 YOU!!! YOU ARE SO COOL NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!! I loved drawing your baby forever ago, and I think about them constantly. In fact I have some extra doodles laying around that I probably should post haha.

@kotoneshiomiofficial You are so right. About everything. All of the time. You are correct and are the coolest trans fox girl I have ever met and I think you're awesome. Big ol heart for you <33333333

@finleyforevermore Hi Finnley. Thank you so much for everything. You are such a light, and a huge encouragement, and thank you for enjoying my HPII content (theres more cooking up trust me). You're a precious moot of mine, and I don't think I can ever describe how much I like your posts. And the fandoms we have in common? Incredible. UMTV, RTC, HPII, Sonic, etc. Like wow. I love it !!!!!! <3333

@i-do-not-exist-hun I LOVE YOU AND YOUR EVERYTHING ILL PROBABLY GO INSANE IN YOUR DMS LATER TELLING YOU EVERYTHING THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME BIG HUG

and finally @box-o. My darling partner in crime and girlfriend. I love you so much, and cannot wait to spend another year with you. Your art is so cartoony and fun, and thank you for passing the Sonic (no, not the metal) virus on to me. Heres to another year <3

#GOOD GOD I HAVE A LOT OF MOOT I LOVE YOU ALL

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moshieee · 28 days

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Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered

That's kinda it idk you that well

Anyways

You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s

*inhales*

@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)

Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe

@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)

my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget

@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)

Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.

@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)

Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon

I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.

@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)

I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup

I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.

@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)

little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!

(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)

another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg

@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)

A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.

@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!

Nooo the parallels

One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.

@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that

When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly

@neptunestoast (plushy slime)

Hugs hugs hugs*

Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly

@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)

What are you doing here??? How are we friends???

I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one

@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)

Why did it take me so long to follow you istg

ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag

@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)

This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh

New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.

@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that

Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese

Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.

#god this is a lot anyways im off to the store now #mutuals #E #seal-berry #Rabid jumpscare #bun bun brother #dia fren #goop buddies #Floridian disadvantage #plushy slime #anxiety bunny buddy #Lilith my be-loathed?

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embracing-the-ineffable · 3 months

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Twenty Questions

Thanks for the tags, @eybefioro, @goodoldfashionednightingale, and @hoarder-of-dragons! I picked my favorites from the posts you tagged me on, and added a few more of my own:

Currently consuming: Good Omens everything

Currently consuming: Good Omens everything (it's worth repeating!)

First ship: I'm not sure. I think I was introduced to the concept of ships through Thomas Sanders' Sanders Sides

Do you have kids? Yes, birth and foster 🥰

What sports do you play/have you played? Dance, horseback riding, and martial arts

Are you more likely to be sincere or sarcastic? Sincere

How many tabs are open on your browser? Over 3,000, because Session Buddy doesn't work on mobile yet 😅

What's your favourite colour? There's no way I can choose! I love the play of different colors with one another. I tend to wear a lot of purple, burgundy, and teal jewel tones, especially in the autumn and winter.

Favorite drink: Hot cocoa with marshmallows and herbal tea for the winter

Last movie: Nothing Lasts Forever and Pride and Prejudice (Those of you as obsessed with Good Omens as I am might recognize a theme here 🤩 )

Scary movies or happy endings? Feel good media with happy endings, please! The world is already full of too many sad and awful things.

When was the last time you cried? I don't remember, but it was probably induced by sleep deprivation and stress. Or really big feelings.

Any talents? Photography! And I love to nurture things. Sometimes that means cooking for loved ones, or growing a jungle of plants in my living room, or organizing gatherings for an extended circle of friends and chosen family

Talent you wish you had? Drawing

What are your hobbies? Right now, the only honest answer is Good Omens 😅

Do you have any pets? Yes! I've shared my life with a whole zoo full of cats, dogs, fish, and reptiles, including an adventure cat, a part-bear part-muppet therapy dog, and a tegu lizard that I trained to walk on a leash and harness.

Super power you wish you had? Reading minds

Dream job? I don't know! I've had so many, and they've all been valuable stepping stones on the path of my life. The jobs where I get to teach and help people - especially kids - are my favorites.

Dream vacation? Seeing the northern lights in person is high on my list. Also, a wildlife photo safari in Africa.

How would you change the world if you could? (Or, what are you passionate about?) I would teach everyone the skills of DBT (helpful for absolutely everyone who has ever had a strong feeling or a connection to another person) and then I would give everyone universal healthcare and a universal basic income with an aim to eliminating poverty, especially among children, plus all the other long term benefits that would stem from that. (Read more from WaPo about UBI here if you're interested.)

Currently working on: Solving the ineffable mystery with the lovely people at the @ineffable-detective-agency, and finishing a new fanfic for the Good Omens Minisode Minibang. Hopefully I'll be ready to post that later this weekend!

No-pressure tags for a few mutuals who might be into tag games, and an open invitation to everyone else!

@gallup24 @averywiseanimatedcat @procrastiel @commonmexicanname @crowleybrekkers @stumblingoverchaos @dunkthebiscuit @red-sky-in-mourning @im-not-a-virgo-im-a-lesbo @tragic-cosmic-magic @crowleybrekkers @lil-king-trash-mouth @celticseawych @phoen1xr0se @lemonic-whimssyy @ineffably-poetic @red-sky-in-mourning @weasleywrinkles

#twenty questions #tag game

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helloalycia · 3 years

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teenage dirtbag [one] // wanda maximoff

summary: when you're paired with the most popular girl in your grade for Chemistry class, you definitely don't expect to start liking her like that...

warning/s: none i don't think??

author's note: okay so i have a ton of requests to work through but i got sidetracked and before i knew it, five parts of this imagine were written.

It's based off the song 'Teenage Dirtbag' and idk, i thought it was cute to write! Who doesn't love the popular girl!wanda and loner!reader concept?

Here’s a cover of the song to listen to because i really liked it and a girl sings it so it immediately made the song 10x more gay, just how i like it 🥰

"Are you all comfortable?"

The class stayed silent, watching our Chemistry teacher, Mr. Hale, as he looked to everyone with a raised brow.

"You all like who you're sat with?" he asked again, as if expecting an actual response from someone.

I exchanged questioning glances with my best friend, Y/BF/N, who was sat beside me. It was the first day back in Chemistry class of our final year of high school and we were just waiting to begin.

"Anyone?" he asked, looking around.

"Yeah," a few students mumbled in response so we could move on.

He clapped his hands together. "Great! Well, don't get too comfortable because I made a seating chart."

A chorus of groans erupted from the class, including from me and Y/BF/N. Every other class had successfully managed to not give us a seating chart. I'd heard that Mr. Hale was an awkward teacher who hated students (ironically), but I didn't think he'd stoop so low as to pair us with students who weren't our friends. These new seats were also our partners for the rest of the year and were non-negotiable, so any projects or work we did would have to be with our seat buddy. Fun.

Students began to shuffle to their newly-assigned seats reluctantly as Mr. Hale read out the chart. When Y/BF/N left my side, I frowned dramatically, waving goodbye to him.

"Wanda Maximoff, you're now partners with Y/N Y/L/N," said Mr. Hale, making me look up at the mention of my name.

I didn't get chance to register what he'd said as the aforementioned girl soon approached me, settling her bag on the table beside me. I looked up and saw Wanda Maximoff smiling my way before taking a seat on the stool.

Huh. Wanda Maximoff. She was one of the most popular girls in our grade. Everybody loved her, either wanting to be friends with her, be with her or be her. I'd personally never crossed paths with her apart from the few classes we shared. She seemed nice enough, but I guess I had preconceived notions of what she was like since she'd made the very poor decision to date the most obnoxious guy ever. Anyone making decisions that terrible definitely had a flaw.

She had a twin brother, Pietro, who was also in our grade and played on the football team alongside her boyfriend. Her parents were good friends with mine, through mutual friends, I think, as I recalled my mum mentioning 'Mrs. Maximoff's boy' or 'Mrs. Maximoff's girl'. And I remembered when her family moved into our town back in second grade.

Admittedly, Wanda was the star of the show back then, too. We were only kids, but child Y/N wasn't blind. She was the first girl I'd crushed on, an innocent child crush – the crush that made me realise I liked girls. Apart from that, and the fact that she had a locker behind me in the hallway, I never really thought about her.

I glanced behind me, catching Y/BF/N's gaze across the room as he sat beside some other kid. He frowned, implying he wished we were partners, and I knew just how he felt.

Once Mr. Hale finished assigning seats, he gave us five minutes to get to know our new partners as he struggled to find the powerpoint for today's class. If there was anything worse than getting assigned seats, it was ice breakers.

"Er, well, hi," Wanda greeted, turning to face me. Green eyes sparkled brightly behind a friendly smile. "I'm Wanda. But, I mean, we already know each other."

"That we do," I said with a nod, returning her smile. "How're you doing? Your summer go well?"

She ran a hand through her hair, adjusting herself so she was comfortable on her stool. And as she did, a waft of her perfume washed over me and I blinked, trying to ignore how nice it smelled. Floral. Subtle. It suited her.

"Good, yeah," she answered with a nod. "Could have gone on longer for all I care."

I chuckled. "I feel that. I'm definitely not ready to be back."

"Right?" she said with raised brows. "It's gonna take a while to get back into routine, that's for sure. But I guess I did miss seeing my friends everyday."

I hummed in agreement, eyes flickering to Mr. Hale as he attempted to tackle the oncoming stream of animations on his powerpoint. I tried not to laugh as I looked back to Wanda, who clearly noticed the same thing as me and stifled a smile.

"Have you had Mr. Hale before?" I asked, nodding his way.

She shook her head. "Nope. You?"

"Never."

"Sucks that he makes seating charts," she said with a sigh, before realising what she said and looking to me with panicked eyes. "Not that I don't like you or anything–!"

"It's fine, I get it," I cut her off with an amused smile. "I wanted to sit with my friend, too."

She breathed out quietly, a hint of relief in her eyes, and scrunched her nose with an apologetic smile. Okay, yeah, maybe that was kind of cute. Older Y/N wasn't blind either. Wanda Maximoff was beautiful, with long brunette locks and matching hazel eyes that seemed to change from blue to green to brown in a kaleidoscope of colour. A winning smile and soothing voice was enough for anyone to fall for her unintentional charm, but it was purely admiration. Everyone pretty much had a mild crush on her, you'd be stupid not to.

"If we're gonna be working together, d'you wanna get the whole awkward number exchange out the way now?" she asked, half joking, half not.

"I– er– sure," I stumbled out rather carelessly, before cringing internally. Where did that come from?

Thankfully, she didn't seem to pick up on it (or just saved me the embarrassment of acknowledging it) and was already writing her number on a slip of paper. Sliding it my way, she capped her pen and gave me her signature smile.

"Thanks," I said with a nod, accepting the paper and pocketing it. "Can't wait to start those lovely science projects we've got coming up!"

She let out a quiet laugh at my sarcasm. "It'll be fine. You're not dumb, right? So, we'll be fine."

"Can't promise you that," I joked, making her roll her eyes playfully.

"Maybe if we–"

But she was cut off when Mr. Hale spoke up loudly, interrupting everyone's conversations.

"Five minutes are up, let's begin!"

I wondered if everyone was thinking the same thing as me – that was not five minutes.

"So it begins...," I mumbled to myself, facing forward.

Wanda breathed out, a stifled laugh, probably having heard my comment, and I couldn't help but crack a smile. Maybe I judged her too harshly. She wasn't actually that bad.

—

Since being paired with Wanda, I was surprised by how much she'd made an effort to befriend me outside of class. We'd always been back to back with our lockers though not quite speaking, but since becoming Chemistry partners, she'd wish me a good morning if she caught me, or greet me briefly as we collected our books.

She didn't have to, but I could see why everybody liked her now. She was just genuinely nice. Due to circumstance, we'd become partners, but rather than leaving it at that, she made a genuine effort to befriend me. And not even just me, but also Y/BF/N, who was at the locker next to mine. He was as surprised as I was, expecting Wanda to mind her own business as we weren't exactly in the same social circles.

This was, I guess you could say, the start of our friendship. And it was a good one at that. I grew to learn how funny she was, how much she loved her brother, the passion she had for art and painting... she was a wonderful person. Which is why I didn't understand why she was with her boyfriend, Nate. He was a grade-A dick and everything Wanda wasn't. How were they a thing?

It sounds like I'm being a bitch and judgemental, but he really is the worst. The few unfortunate times I shared a class with him or caught sight of him around school, he was causing some sort of trouble with the teachers or picking on students in a way that made it seem like a joke but everybody knew it wasn't.

For example, there was a time when Wanda and I were studying for an upcoming Chemistry test we had. We decided to just help each other study since we already worked together in class, so knew we could motivate each other to actually put in the work. It was, maybe, the fourth studying session we had, and I was going over some notes when I felt her eyes watching me.

"You need a hand?" I asked, unable to take the staring any longer. I looked up at her, quirking a brow.

She seemed to fall out of her daydream and straightened up, eyes flickering to mine. "Huh?"

I gave her an awkward smile, unable to maintain her gaze. "You're staring."

She didn't seem fazed as I called her out, instead leaning back in her seat and continuing to study me curiously.

"Did you do something different with your hair?"

Subconsciously reaching for my hair, I straightened up my ponytail and shook my head. "No...?"

She chewed on her lip, saying after a pause, "You tied it up. You usually leave it out."

Did I? I wasn't sure. I just knew that her noticing something like that made me feel self conscious all of a sudden.

"It looks good," she decided, before offering up a small smile. "You should do it like that more often."

Quickly, I felt warm. Was it stuffy in here or was it just me? God, compliments already made me feel stupid. And compliments from pretty girls made me feel ten times that. It didn't help that she was watching me with an endearing expression, making me focus on my book before me.

"Thanks," I got out quickly. "I– yeah."

Her smile widened before she looked back down to her own book. Suddenly, I became acutely aware of the way her leg brushed up against mine under the table.

Thankfully, the strange fuzzy feeling following her compliment faded and we were able to get back to work without her tuning out again. As we were going over each other's practice questions, an annoying voice shouted from across the library.

"Wanda, head's up!"

"Hey, no talking in the library!" a librarian hissed at the voice.

Wanda and I looked up just in time for a football to smack me in the side of the head. I didn't even see it coming until I felt the thing slap my head, giving me an instant urge to strangle whoever threw it.

"Fuck," I cursed, holding my head and closing my eyes to breathe through the pain.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Wanda's voice made me open my eyes and I saw her leaning forward, hand resting on my shoulder and the other on top of mine that was clutching my head.

"Been better," I admitted, trying to make light of the situation because as angry as I was at the idiot who threw it, I was also embarrassed because it hit me.

Wanda seemed concerned as she gently pulled me hand away, not letting go as she got a better look at the side of my face which I was sure was burning red. At least that's what it felt like.

"Shit, I'm so sorry."

I looked up and saw none other than Nate Green, Wanda's boyfriend, hovering and stifling a laugh as he looked at me. He had his stupid varsity jacket on and I was tempted to strangle him with it.

"I thought Wanda would catch it," he explained stupidly, before moving around the desk to collect his football.

Breathing out through gritted teeth, I pulled away from Wanda and nodded reassuringly. "I'll be fine. Just need an ice pack."

"You're such an idiot, Nate!" Wanda snapped, looking to him with a glare. "You need to watch what you're doing!"

He smiled sheepishly, making me roll my eyes and clench my jaw at the heat on the right side of my face. Fuck, that really hurt.

"What did you want?" Wanda asked him with a quirked brow. She definitely wasn't impressed. I'd hate to ever be on the wrong side of that condescending glare.

"I thought we could go out," he said like it was that simple.

"I'm studying," she quipped with crossed arms.

"I'm happy to wait," he said, toying with the ball in his hands.

Knowing I definitely didn't want that, I closed my books and said, "It's cool. You guys go. I think we're done here anyway."

Nate grinned. "See? S'all good."

Wanda ignored him and looked to me with worried eyes. "Y/N, are you sure?"

"You know your stuff," I said, referring to the work. "You'll be fine in the test. I'm sure."

I offered her a small, forced smile, before standing up to pack my bag. She did the same, beginning to pack her own things, but her eyes kept flittering towards me.

"D'you want me to go to the nurse's office with you?" she asked, shame laced in her voice.

"It's fine, I'll be fine," I said, hurrying up with my actions so I could just get out of here whilst I still had (some of) my dignity left. "See you in class tomorrow."

She nodded, sending a guilty smile my way. "See you tomorrow, Y/N."

Without giving either of them a look, I shouldered my backpack and left the library. Just another reminder of why Nate Green was literally the worst person ever.

—

Liking Wanda as more than a friend wasn't something that happened for a while if I'm being honest. I guess I started to enjoy her presence more and more the longer we spent time together.

I'd come to appreciate it whenever she'd say something completely out of the blue that made no sense whatsoever, or whenever she'd laugh at something I'd said that was arguably not funny but she didn't want to make me feel bad, or even whenever I teased her about something stupid she did, resulting in her doing that cute little nose scrunch she did. But I didn't think of it as liking her, more just a randomly-formed friendship that I was glad to have.

Maybe it was this misinterpretation that didn't make me see how I was acting around her, such as the time I was in the dinner queue at lunch when I realised she was stood behind me.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," she said when she noticed it was me in front of her. Her usual bright, friendly smile was on her lips as she looked to me. "You good?"

I nodded, returning her smile. "Yeah. Just getting some doughnuts for Y/BF/N and I. You?"

"Same," she said, before nudging the guy next to her, who I recognised as her brother. "Pietro and I thought we'd treat ourselves."

At the mention of his name, Pietro looked down to his sister before his gaze fell on me. A mischievous smile appeared on his lips as he put out his hand.

"Pietro Maximoff," he introduced. "You must be the Chemistry partner, Y/N, right?"

I raised my eyebrows with surprise as I shook his hand. "You, er, know who I am?"

He glanced at his sister with a cheeky smile. Wanda was avoiding both of our gazes, her cheeks dusting pink.

Clearly saving face for Wanda, he said, "We've been in the same grade since kids, right? 'Course I do."

Despite the truth to his words, something told me that wasn't how he knew who I was. Especially since I was sure I'd never spoken to him in my life. But, to save Wanda the embarrassment of clearly having spoken of me at home, I nodded to Pietro.

"Right," I agreed with an amused smile. "Duh."

I moved down the queue and grabbed two doughnuts from the display, putting them in two separate paper bags.

"Dibs the last one!" Pietro exclaimed as soon as I returned the clippers to the display. He reached around his sister immaturely and bagged the last doughnut.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "You know I can ask for more, right?"

Pietro grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Go on then."

The two were twins, but they couldn't have been more different. I simply revelled in their interaction, finding it adorable.

Wanda did as she said, asking the dinner lady if there were any more doughnuts in the back. Unfortunately for her, those were the last for the day, making Pietro laugh as Wanda pouted.

"Sucks to be you," he teased her, as I paid for mine and Y/BF/N's doughnuts.

"I hate you," she mumbled playfully, but I saw the disappointment in her eyes as he lovingly but annoyingly waved his bag before her eyes.

Without even thinking much of it, I held out one of the bags in my hand. "Here. You can have mine."

Wanda looked to me with surprise. "Are you sure? I can live without a doughnut, if that's what you're thinking."

I chuckled, grabbing her hand and making her take it. "It's okay. I wasn't in the mood anyway."

Plus, you look better when you're smiling and not pouting, I added in my head.

She accepted the bag reluctantly. "I– thanks. At least let me pay for it–"

"It's just a doughnut, Wanda," I teased, before nodding her way. "See you later."

Leaving her and Pietro to it, I headed back to the table Y/BF/N was sat at and took a seat opposite him before giving him his doughnut.

"Sweet," he said, quickly opening the bag before realising I didn't have one. "Where's yours?"

Over his shoulder, I saw Wanda and Pietro taking a seat at their lunch table, doughnuts in hand and a heartwarming smile on Wanda's lips.

"They ran out," I answered Y/BF/N. "Wasn't in the mood anyway. Enjoy."

He shrugged before digging in. I'd like to say I didn't spare glances in Wanda's direction every now and then for the rest of the lunch hour, but I'd be lying if I did.

—

I'm in the art department. You okay to bring it here?

I read over the text Wanda sent me before shooting her an 'okay' and heading to the Art department. I'd grabbed her notebook in class earlier on, only realising as I was studying with Y/BF/N in the library and pulled out an extra one, so I was going to give it her back.

I guess, when you realise you like someone, it comes randomly, suddenly, without warning. Liking someone isn't instant, it's constant and gradual and subconscious. I guess I'd been falling for Wanda for a while, without even realising, but today was the day I acknowledged that fact.

The Art department wasn't somewhere I frequented regularly – give me a paint and brushes and I'd probably present you with a finger painting – but it was definitely worth the visit. Art pieces from current and past students were hung on the walls, a mural of the school was spray painted on another, and sculptures stood around. The whole department brought a smile to anyone's face with its bright colours and open space – I could see why Art students always hung out here, Wanda included.

Speaking of Wanda, I found her in one of the classrooms sat at a stool in front of a series of canvasses. The room had a few other Art students littered around, working on their own pieces during their lunch period, otherwise it was empty.

"Hey," I called, getting her attention as I approached her.

She followed my voice and straightened up with a cheery smile. "Y/N, hey. Thanks for coming. I'm working on my Art project, so I couldn't pull myself away."

I waved my hand dismissively, joining her side. "It's all good, don't worry." My eyes wandered to the series of canvases on easels she was working on and widened. "Holy shit, these are so good."

Three unfinished hyperrealistic portraits of people were before us, one whom I recognised as Pietro. The paintings were so detailed, despite their medium-size, and I couldn't imagine how long they must have taken.

"You think?" she asked, glancing between them. "I think I messed up the nose here." She pointed with the back end of her paintbrush to the nose of Pietro. "It's a bit bent."

I almost laughed as I looked to her with disbelief. "Are you kidding? Wanda, these are amazing. How did you even do this?"

She looked down bashfully, a nervous smile on her lips. "I don't know. It's for a project. I chose to do family portraits." She pointed to each one as she said, "My mum, my dad and my brother."

I was in awe of her talent, jaw dropped with amazement still. I always knew she was an artist, but I'd never actually seen her work. I was starting to wish I'd come here a lot sooner.

"So, you got my notebook?" she asked, pulling me back into reality.

I looked away from the paintings reluctantly before getting her notebook from my bag and holding it out for her. As she accepted it, she must have forgotten she was holding her paintbrush as the tip brushed my wrist, leaving a swipe of red there.

"Oh, my bad," she said with a laugh, before setting her notebook and brush down and grabbing a paper towel from beside her.

Wetting it with water from her bottle, she pressed it to my wrist and swiped the paint away. It was such a mundane action, but the way her fingers gently held my wrist and emanated a warmth only she seemed to carry sent shivers down my spine.

I glanced up at her, letting her do it, and noticed the swipe of paint she had across her cheek, as if she'd touched her face without realising.

Now that I paid attention, I noticed how cute she looked in her Art getup. An old, oversized shirt covered in paint was being worn to cover her clothes, sleeves loosely rolled up to her elbows. Her long hair was tied back into a ponytail, but her baby hairs framed her forehead adorably.

When her hair wasn't in her face, her eyes only seemed more intense, glistening with excitement and happiness. I almost forgot to breathe when they met mine briefly, a hint of embarrassment there from when cleaning me up. She was in her element here and it made sense to me now.

I knew I'd fallen for her.

—

"You don't get it," I was saying to Y/BF/N as we hung about the school gym, waiting for the teacher to start the lesson. "It's bad. I like her. Like, like like her."

Y/BF/N laughed, clapping me on the back with pity. "You're screwed."

I frowned. "I know."

As he stretched for class, he continued, "I mean, I get it, I do. She's super nice. Pretty. And you guys seem to get on."

I chewed on my lower lip worriedly.

He gave me a knowing look. "There's one problem though."

I groaned, running a hand down my face. "I know, I know. She's got that dick of a boyfriend."

He chuckled. "That's one way to put it."

I sighed, crossing my arms with annoyance. Since realising I liked Wanda as a little more than a friend, things weren't going well for me. Whenever we worked together, I'd forget what I was thinking because I was too busy admiring her side profile or getting lost in her eyes. If she spoke about the work, told a joke or was simply speaking her thoughts aloud, I'd focus on every little thing she was saying, knowing I could listen to her speak all day. It was bad, but thankfully I hadn't stumbled over my words or made a total fool of myself in front of her. I was determined to not let it get that far.

My eyes wandered around the gym as Y/BF/N tried to give me advice, but admittedly, his words flew in one ear and out the other when I caught sight of Wanda.

She was standing with her friends, smiling and laughing to whatever they were saying. Like everyone else in here, she was wearing her gym kit – black athletic shorts and a blue and white tee shirt, the colour of our school. It wasn't anything special, yet she made it seem that way, outdoing anyone in here. Her brown hair was tied back, the ponytail falling down her back, showing her stunning profile and making my mouth go dry.

Another clap on the back from Y/BF/N pulled me from my reverie and I looked to see he was laughing at me.

"Majorly screwed," he corrected his previous comment.

He was definitely right.

#wanda maximoff x you #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #marvel imagine #mcu imagine #mcu #wanda maximoff au #Spotify

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gotnofucks · 4 years

Text

Choose

Written for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor Halloween Challenge! This is my first time posting here, so be kind 😊

Character pairing: dark!Steve x Reader

Summary: Steve realizes he can’t let you go when you’re stuck in a safe house with him.

Quote: I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: Non-con (implied), non-con touching, blackmail, coercion, 18+ only. Please don’t read if you don’t like.

MASTERLIST

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The rain was falling in torrents and how you made your way through it you would never know. It was only September, but the rain made it much colder and you were so glad that you were in a car with heating on. Steve was driving almost blind and if it were someone else, you would be scared, but it was him and so you let yourself sink into the seat and relax.

“Take my jacket, you look cold” He said as he shot your slightly shivering form a sharp look.

You nod and reach behind to take his jacket and wrap it around your body. You do it without hesitation and with no question. Always so trusting and obedient, at least, when it came to him. You were small, in fact positively diminutive when it came to the super soldier sitting beside you and seemed to drown in his jacket. He smiled when he saw you, and you smile back at his cheeky look.

“How long until we get to the safe house? I am hungry.” You asked, wiggling in your seat.

“Not long. It’s right in the middle of this clearing. Maybe 10 more minutes”, He answered, reaching over to pat your knee in assurance.

“You’ve been there before?”

“Twice. Nat and I set it up just after we took down Shield and then later crashed here with Sam and Buck around 2 years ago. It’s safe and cozy.”

You hum and played with your fingers. It was only going to be the two of you this time. It didn’t bother you all that much. You would rather it be him than anyone else. Well, maybe Tony, but after him you liked Steve the best. You were one of the younger avengers, having been recruited only two years ago by Clint Barton. You used to work for a covert government organization IMF where Clint was undercover for a few years and seeing your talent with a gun and a computer, he had once asked your help in one of his Avengers missions where you met Tony Stark who immediately took a liking to you and trained you under him.

You worked as Tony’s tech girl, helping mostly with recon missions for a few months. Then Natasha started training you for field missions and low and behold, you were kicking ass with them for nearly 6 months now. You haven’t done very difficult missions yet, and not a single solo. Mostly you’re paired with Nat and Clint or, as this time, with Steve. Tony assured you he’ll let you do a solo soon, but always lamented that ever since you got outside, he missed his lab buddy.

You loved these small missions with Steve. He was always patient with you and taught you the drills but didn’t hold back. He would let you take the lead at times and was always proud of even the smallest achievement. At first when you had met, you had been kind if intimidated of his aloofness, but it didn’t take long for you both to bond over cheesy 40s music and your mutual love for art.

“Y/n, we’re here” Steve announced and got out of the car. You followed, grabbing your small bag and ran through the rain to the porch. It was like a getaway cabin and you were so glad you didn’t have to stay in some dingy hole. You wanted warmth, food, and a comfortable place to sleep.

Steve shut the door behind you and took off his wet shoes, putting them upside down near the door. You take off his jacket and your shoes too, grateful to be away from the squelching soles.

“There’s no fireplace” You observe with a pout, and Steve chuckled.

“Y/n, it’s a safe house. The smoke would let people know someone is living here. We don’t want that now, do we?” He gave you an indulgent smile and walked through to the kitchen, starting to unpack the supplies and food.

“But I am cold!” You whine, and for that moment Steve realized your age gap. He gestured for you to come to him while he put the water to boil and you slowly approached him with small steps. Once you are in front of him, he looked at your damp hair and clothes, thankful that his jacket had prevented you from getting too wet.

“You cold, huh?” He asked, hooking a hang around your waist to pull you against his chest. You stumble and steady yourself with both hands against his massive shoulders, your head a couple inches below his shoulder.

“Yeah” You moan, wrapping your arms around his body. “How the hell are you always warm, eh?”

Steve chuckles again and continues to cook while hugging you with an arm around your body. This closeness isn’t new. He would never admit it, but Captain Steve Rogers is a serial cuddler and you are his favourite cuddle buddy. He would cuddle you on the couch during movie nights, he would cuddle you after returning from a tough mission and he would cuddle you when you get your period. Steve Rogers was your best friend, and you felt safe with him. But you didn’t know Steve Rogers wanted to be more than just your friend. He wanted you with him when he went to sleep and when he woke up, he wanted you when he cooked and when he took a shower. No, you had no idea that the National treasure of America was in love with you.

It wasn’t like he was hiding his feelings. He just never came out and said them out loud. Steve often believed that actions spoke louder than words and so he tried to tell you his feelings by doing little somethings for you. He learnt to make your coffee exactly the way you liked, he watched the movies you liked and read the books you read. He learnt to cook vegetarian dishes since you despised any kind of meat. More than anything, he tried to get along with Tony. Tony was your protective big brother/father, and he loved you enough to scare off every man who ever looked at your way. You were the only one in the team to have rooms on the same floor as Tony and you both shared a kitchen. Steve knew that if he wanted you to himself, he needed to get on Tony’s good side. So, he bit his tongue when he wanted to snap and gave his go ahead to things he deeply disapproved of, just to have to build back the old trust. It worked out, since Steve was one of the only people who were allowed a mission with you.

“Will there be hot water for a shower?” You asked, body being warmed by Steve. He looked down at your face, full of childish innocence and stripped off every hardness after a tired mission.

“Maybe, but definitely not enough for both of us” Steve commented. The vegetable stew needed to simmer for a while, so he sat you both down on the worn couch in the living room, your head on his shoulder and his arm still around you. He had hoped you would pick up on his feelings, since having you this close did things to him. Your soft body fit so perfectly into his large one that he never wished to part from you. Maybe tonight would be that night.

“I’ll call Tony and eat. You take that shower and save me some hot water if you can.” You said and took out your phone to let Tony know you were safe and would leave for compound in the morning as planned. Steve looked at you walk away, speaking softly to Tony and wished more than ever that the rain outside would turn into a storm just to prolong your stay. He didn’t get to have you alone a lot at the compound. There were always other people around, always Wanda wanting female company or Peter following you around asking how you impressed Tony. He liked it here in this little cabin, cooking a meal for you after a hard day of work.

“Tony says to leave early tomorrow so we can reach home by lunch. He wants to take me to meet Stephen Strange” You say suddenly, breaking out Steve from his domestic fantasy.

“Stephen Strange? Why?”, he asked, frowning.

“Tony and him and doing some weird wizard-avenger collab in that Nepal place- what is it called, Kamartaj- for a few weeks”, you answer.

“What’s that got to do with you?” Steve asked, slightly irritated and hands curing into fists.

“He’s taking me along. Says he doesn’t want me away for so long. Also, this wiz, Dr. Strange, he’s apparently some kind of genius. Tony says I can learn a lot from him. But I think it’s just a ruse. I’m pretty sure they are dating, and he just wants me to meet him”, You say with a fond smile. Steve doesn’t smile or say anything.

Weeks? You’d be gone for weeks? That too in another country without him. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like that at all.

“You wanna go?” He asked in what he hoped was a normal voice. He wanted you to say no, wanted to see that hesitation in your eyes as you thing of being away from him for weeks, maybe months.

“Sure, I think it would be fun. I wanna see the Himalayas and maybe I’ll visit India too. I’ve got a pen friend there who I’d love to meet.” Your reply was so nonchalant that for a moment Steve just stares, and then he is angry. Here was a perfect chance for you and him to spend time away from the overbearing presence of Tony Stark, but you would rather see snow covered mountains and meet a pen friend in India? He’d only thought you were being a little oblivious of his feelings, maybe deliberately trying not to acknowledge them as you wanted to take it slow. But it seems like you…it seems like you felt nothing beyond friendship for him at all. After all those months spent hugging and laughing together, and yet you would rather choose Tony over him. A rage settled over him and he needed to clench his jaw and curl his arm tight around the back of the couch to stop himself from grabbing you and…and doing things he had rather not do.

“Take that shower. Leave your wet clothes outside, I’ll see what I can do with them” Steve said suddenly.

“You sure you don’t want a shower too? We’ve got layers of grim from crawling through that tunnel.” You asked.

Steve looked at you for a minute, eyes rowing over your small face. He took in the little acne scars you were so self-conscious about, your slightly chapped lips and those beautiful eyes that reared him in. He nodded.

“Yeah, you go on. I’ll see if I need one” He said and went to the kitchen while you left for the bedroom with the connected bathroom.

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The bathroom was nicer than you had hoped, probably Nat’s doing if the products where anything to go by. You’d removed your wet clothes outside and stood naked under the stream of warm water, sighing with relief. It was a small mission but brutal on your body. It would have been heaven to have a tub in here, but safe houses were meant to be quick and effective, and this one was way better than others, so you didn’t complain. You were just going to wash your hair when the bathroom door opened, and Steve entered.

“Steve!” You shouted, hands covering your breast and turning so your back was to him. You looked at him with wide eyes, expecting him to sputter and leave but he stayed, eyes lingering on your ass a bit before meeting your eyes.

“Got any of that hot water left or have you finished all of it?” He asked, taking off his t-shirt and leaving his chest bare.

Your mouth opened in surprise as your backed yourself into the corner, trying to make sense of what was happening. Your best friend had just barged into your bathroom while you were showering and showed no signs of leaving.

“W-what are you doing, Steve?” You asked in a small voice, still covering yourself with your hands the best you could.

“Taking a shower. I told you we didn’t have enough water for two, so I thought I’d join you. You were right anyway, we are grimy.” He said and fumbling a bit, dropped his pants down too. You panicked, not understanding what was happening as Steve stood in his boxers, taking steps towards you.

“No. No no no no” You almost chanted that as a mantra, eyes going here and there, not knowing what to do. Steve reached your small body crowded into the corner and slowly, very slowly raised a hand to wipe away the dirty on your cheek. You started at his touch and quickly sidestepped, running towards the door. You didn’t know what had gotten into Steve, but you needed to get out of here. Now.

You’d taken only two steps before a hand wrapped around your waist and brought you back screeching to a hard chest, back against front.

“Stop. Steve, let me go. Please.” You said, your tears mingling with the water on your skin, one hand across your chest and other on his wrist trying to pry it off.

“No sweetheart, you need to take this shower. You’re dirty and tired. Come.” You hated his voice for being soft and soothing still, showing no indication of what he was doing to you. His voice was still your Stevie’s voice, calm, cool, a little commanding and full of affection for you.

“I- Steve, I don’t want a shower. Not like this, please.” You tried to break away, wiggling and crying but Steve didn’t listen and dragged you back and turned on the water again. You both were bombarded with hot water and stood under it for a minute before Steve turned it off again.

“Gimme that shampoo, I’ll do your hair.” He said, releasing you from his hold. But it wasn’t any good as you were blocked by the wall on your back and Steve at your front. You hadn’t turned around yet, but now you did. Sobbing, with thighs squeezed tight to hide you down there and hands inefficiently covering your breasts, you looked at him with betrayed eyes. You didn’t try running again. You knew his strength; you have trained with him. He could take you down in seconds.

“Why are you doing this? What is happening?” Your voice was small and broken, sending a pang through Steve’s heart. He loved you and didn’t want to hurt you, but you needed to see his feelings for you. He couldn’t risk you going away for months. He just couldn’t. His eyes slowly moved down from your face, taking in every inch of your body exposed, not touching, only looking.

“We’re taking a shower after which we will eat our food while we watch some stupid movie on that laptop of yours. Then, we’ll cuddle and sleep with you on my chest and tomorrow morning you will call Tony and tell him you won’t join him for his trip to Nepal.”

He was mad. He was insane, you were sure of it. Face burning with humiliation under his gaze, fire began sparking in your eyes. How dare this tall buff blond muffin think it okay to invade your space and demand such things from you? Just who the fuck did he think he was.

“No. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but you need to stop. Get out, or if you want to shower, let me go out. I’m done with whatever game you are playing.” You sneered at him. Steve had to smile at this, his little spitfire. He didn’t really expect you to give in easily, that’s not the girl he knew and trained. You were with the avengers because you could handle stuff others would wet themselves with. You were strong and he knew that. But he was stronger.

“What’s gotten into me?” He asked, closing the distance between you so you were against the wall and caged by his arms on either side. His face was inches away and your breathing sped up. He looked cruel and menacing, the blue eyes you loved so much taking on a much darker hue. “You have gotten in me. You got under my skin and in my thoughts and in my heart. Now I want you under me.”

He bent down and you were sure he was going to force a kiss on your mouth but he surprised you by pressing his lips softly on your forehead like he did when you had nightmares or right before a mission. It was a kiss of reassurance and love, and somehow, that just scared you more. Whatever Steve thought he was doing, he believed it was driven by love. And when Steve loved someone, he loved them without abandon. If he went against everyone to save his friend, what would he do to have you?

“Steve…please…” You didn’t know what to say or what to do. You wanted to get away from him and cover yourself up to get some control back. You wanted to talk to him and forget this ever happened and get back your best friend.

“You have two options. First, we both take a bath right now. I won’t touch you where you don’t want me to, we eat, and sleep and you go back with me to the compound like a good girl and tell everyone we are together. Or..” His eyes narrowed here, “Or, I could take you right here, right now and make you mine with little option. I could rail you deep and hard so you will feel me deep inside you for days on end. I know you’re not on birth control and I have no condoms with me, so if you get pregnant, you best believe I’ll have you tied down to myself with a ring on that finger by the end of the month. The choice is yours.”

Your heart sank. You looked into his eyes, your whole body shaking and knees ready to give up. He was serious! He was absolutely serious, and you had no idea what the fuck happened. Just an hour ago you were sure he was the person who made you feel the safest, but now that sanctuary had been torn apart and some possessive stranger had taken its place.

“You’re insane. You’ve lost it!” You cry, sliding down the wall as your knees collapsed, folding your knees to hide your nakedness. Steve followed you down and wrapped his arms around your small form.

“I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched. You own me, my heart and soul. And soon, I’ll have you too. How that happens is your choice. Choose.” His tone bore no argument. You had just one card to play.

“Tony would never stand for it. He’ll find out, I’ll tell him and then you’ll be done.” You made your tone harsh and full of venom. You don’t know what you expected him to do, but it definitely wasn’t laugh. It was an amused chuckle, like a daddy who was indulging his silly daughter, full of patronizing hilarity.

“Sweetheart, you don’t think I have a plan for that? Even if I spend months bringing you flowers and singing love ballads from your window, he wouldn’t exactly be convinced. He isn’t exactly fond of me, is he? I had a plan in place for months. I didn’t want to have to use it honestly, I wanted you to come to me of your own violation. But I just thought as a back up plan…” You screamed as he suddenly scooped you up in his arms, still wet and naked and carried you out to the bedroom. He deposited you on the bed and gave you a towel that you hastily covered yourself with. You looked behind you and the door was locked. It wasn’t any use anyway; he could outrun you in his sleep.

Steve got his phone out and showed you the screen, making your heart drop. There were numerous pictures of you with your family and friends from the past two years. Not just those, pictures of you with your previous team, the IMF, Ethan Hunt, and others. How Steve got these pictures you didn’t know, but it scared you.

“Everyone, every single person in these pictures has a target on their backs. I have had a sniper after all of them for over a year, mostly just to keep an eye on you and to make sure you are safe. But don’t think for one second that I will hesitate to take them out. There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do to keep you with me.” He sat beside you on the bed and putting a finger under your chin turned your face towards him. “It doesn’t need to be nasty, sweetheart. I don’t want to be the bad guy. I have never been one and you can keep me from doing anything drastic. All you need to do is convince Tony that you are the one who wants me. You are the only person he actually trusts, so you need to make it believable. He has denied you nothing, and if you come to him yourself and tell him you want me…well…no one has to die, do they.”

This was a nightmare. Everything that has happened to you today is a nightmare. You didn’t want to believe Steve would hurt anyone, but then you didn’t think him capable of forcing him on you either. If there was even the tiniest bit of chance that he could harm anyone of your friends and family…no. You couldn’t let that happen.

“Option one”, You whispered softly, eyes downcast and lips trembling.

“What was that?” Steve asked, turning your face up again so he could look in your eyes.

“I choose option one. We- We eat and sleep and I call Tony I won’t go with him. Then we can tell everyone we are together.”

Steve grinned, his happy grin that everyone said only you brought out in him. It unnerved you that a man you loved and respected so much was doing this.

“My good girl” He praised, and then he leaned down and pressed his mouth on yours. The kiss was gentle and soft, his mouth lazily moving against yours. If it were happening any other way, you would have enjoyed it. He broke away and looked at you with eyes that sparkled. “You’ll love me too, one day. I am yours, and you are mine.”

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True to his word, you guys ate your dinner and watched a movie as you cuddled like you usually did at movie nights. Steve held you close, sometimes brushing his nose against the side of your neck or rubbing his hand along your sides. Afterwards, he laid down beside you, spooning your small body and holding it snug against his. He was warm, and you didn’t have anymore fight in you for today. The day was too fast and weird for you to process. You vowed to sleep now and to think of a way to get to Tony without arousing Steve’s suspicion. You weren’t ready to give up now.

You’d been asleep for only a couple hours before you felt cold air around your body. You woke up with a start and found yourself on your back, your t-shirt removed and Steve hovering over you, placing open mouth kisses along your bare chest.

“Steve! Steve stop!” You screamed, pushing against his chest. He looked at you with eyes blown wide with lust and taking your hands in one of his, he held them up while he tweaked your nipple with his other making you squirm. He bent down and swallowed your protests with a deep kiss, his tongue forcing its way inside your mouth and tasting you while he moaned.

“Steve please,” You were sobbing now, and trashing your legs which he held down with a strong thigh. “You…you promised. You said I get to choose. I chose option one”

Steve looked at you for a moment then kissed your cheek softly. Moving his hand between your thighs he murmured in your ear, “I’ve changed my mind. I can’t wait anymore”

#rooshalloweenficfest #steve x reader #dark!steve x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!steve x you #dark!steve rogers x you #dark!fic

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psychshalala · 3 years

Text

Hope everyone is having a beautiful and blessed day where ever u are. Please feel free to join me and would absolutely love it. Taking a moment here to appreciate my man Hak, his beautiful heart, his endless patience, his great strength both physical and mental and his wisdom.

Appreciating a man who buried his pain and grief to help the woman he loves but before that his childhood friend. To help carry her grief. To help heal her wounds. To help her grow. Who was literally her hands and legs when she was paralyzed. Her teacher when she needed to be strong. Her source of strength when shes at her lowest. The source of her comfort, the home to her secrets and weakness. Her biggest supporter in both her time of need and her moments of glory.

A man who carries family values. Who sacrificed his reputation, left his home and family to protect them. A general to his tribe yet a older brother and a good friend to his people.

Can we take a moment to respect that mans loyalty. That man loved one girl for 10+ years! No expectation s, absolute respect for her feelings. We are reaching a point in todays Society where loyalty is a luxury! Makes me respect it even more.

I wanna appreciate his energy, his vibe! That attracts all kind of people. That makes everyone who meets him either fall in love or respect him. His gentleness, his calm, cool side along side his ability to channel his inner child.

His leadership that taught tribes to respect even ur enemy. To not hurt those who mean no harm no matter what side they on. To engage with the intention of creating friendships and not enemies. To put violence aside unless its absolutely necessary. A great opponent/ rival when there is mutual respect. A beast when u try to hurt his loved ones. And a badass 24/7 baby. Periodt!! His awareness and acknowledgment of his weaknesses and fears instead of denying them and his will power and courage to face them instead of running away.

I wanna appreciate his love for martial arts, his love For growth. His dedication and hard work. His Independence be it saving money to buy his dream weapon, doing house work, learning how to take care of his baba, crafting his own additional weapons, survival skills.

His beautiful heart that when it loves, it loves with all its being. No matter how hurt, it shows kindness. A heart that doesnt forget the beautiful memories nor the friendships. Who forgave the same people who hurt his family and forced him out of his home and helped them protect theirs. I want to appreciate the man that chose to understand and help the person who hurt him most despite his pain. To still care about the person who hurt the love of his life, forced him to leave his family, broke his trust and tainted his reputation by forcing him to carry all the blame for a crime he never committed yet not expecting anything in return. For the sake of the friend he once had. He once considered family. He once looked up to. He once trusted with every shard of that broken heart. In belief that the person he once knew was not a lie, an act, an illusion. In hopes that what they had was real. (Starts Sobbing!)

And now let me take this particular moment to just appreciate his beautiful blue eyes.. (even though its black in manga but we all know its blue! 😂) his beautiful Physique!!! Ansvwisvanam. His rocks, hunks, ousman, dear god please dont break my fast! His peaches 🍑 ... wmsvahnasv. Able To pull off sexy and cute, yes sir.

I appreciate his relationship with the people that are dearest to him and not. His big brother relationship with shinha/ wind babies. His rivalry with kija. His should i kill him?.. nah hes my ride or die relationship with jea ha. The mutual respect between him and zeno (wish they show us more). His big baby hungry/ big brother relationship with yoon. His rebellious ik u love me but boundaries please with baba mundok. His female bff ayame! His sparring buddies plus the special witness of the legendary first kiss the xing lads. His i wanna kill u/ama remind u who beat ur ass next time we meet relationship with kuelbo. His teasing/ur not bad with tae jun along with tae juns respect/gratefulness/jealousy with hak. Even his ik they hate my guts but whatever with joodoh and kye sook. And much more.

Man i dont wanna stop but dont wanna make this too long. Please feel free to add more! Here are some of my fav expressions and hak moments. 😚😚❤️❤️

#akatsuki no yona #hak #son hak #yona of the dawn #hak son #hakyona #thunder beast #windtribe #any #suhak

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alienheartattack · 3 years

Note

Hiii!! Quick question, what is ur otp and brotp for snk? It’s probably rm, but what r ur thoughts on other Mikasa and Levi ships? (Rivetra, levihan, eruri, ereri, rivahisu, rivannie, rivasasha, eremika, arumika, jeankasa, mikahisu, mikahan, Mikannie, erumika, mikasasha) thx so much love u so much :D

Thanks for your message! 💖💖💖

Otp is absolutely Rivamika. No one even comes close. (Although I've def enjoyed some NSFW works of Eruri, Erejean, and the holy grail of gay SNK, Erurimike.)

I have a few brotps. The veteran trio is pretty great as well as the individual relationships therein (Eruri/Eruhan/Levihan), and I like the potential of EMA even though it was squandered in the end. I also loved Sasha and Connie's friendship, and Sasha and Mikasa's friendship even though we didn't get to see it as much.

Gonna rate these ships behind a read more so this post doesn't take up your entire dash.

Rivetra - Don't like it. I headcanon this as one-sided love on Petra's part. (I liked her and Oluo better.) I feel like Rivetra has pretty much disappeared from the SNK fandom landscape, I used to see it a lot more in the dark times between seasons 1 and 2.

Levihan - S-tier friendship, hate it as a romantic pairing. I've seen a lot of otherwise very good Levihan art that makes Hanji more feminine, which I don't like. Plus I feel like even if the two of them got wasted and fell into bed together, Levi would be incredibly turned off by Hanji's bad personal hygiene and nothing would happen.

Eruri - I don't think they ever got sexual in canon, but I do think they genuinely loved and respected each other. Eren and Mikasa take note: THIS is how you do an Ackerbond.

Ereri - Meh. Not a fan.

Rivahisu - Hate it. It feels weirdly gross to me, for some reason? Even though, fun fact, one of my first fic ideas was Hisu domming the shit out of Levi after he roughed her up and yelled at her about becoming queen. Idk, they're both so small. Their babies would be like hamsters.

Rivannie - I can't even imagine this lmao. What a weird pairing.

Rivasasha - Another one that doesn't make sense to me.

Eremika - The worst and most toxic pairing in the series. I hate everything about their dynamic. Eren is cruel to Mikasa and she just accepts his treatment without wavering in her obsessive love. She infantilizes him even though he clearly hates it, although she's right that he usually needs someone to clean up his messes. I hate that Eren claims he loves her even though he had, like, 2 moments in the entire series where he wasn't openly contemptuous of her. I don't see them as a tragic couple, unless the tragedy is that they had great potential as characters but Yams decided to hamper all the development they could have had as individuals in favor of smashing them together at the last minute with no buildup. I don't even think Eren likes Mikasa as a person very much. I'm not against childhood friends to lovers as a trope, but I think Yams did a really bad job of depicting any kind of mutually positive relationship between them.

Arumika - Cute! I have a headcanon that they've fooled around as sort of an exploratory thing out of mutual platonic love rather than being sexually attracted to each other. They have a great friendship and although I don't think they have endgame romantic potential, I could see them trying out dating but deciding that they're better off as friends.

Jeankasa - I go back and forth on this one. It's not bad, but it's no Rivamika. I did ship it initially but then Levi showed up and my interest in JK went out the window entirely. I think Jean would be a good husband to Mikasa, but after the ending of the series I question her love for him. I think she'd agree to marriage more out of the idea that they have a mutual goal of love and family and the knowledge that he'll take good care of her, and then over time maybe she would fall in love with him. I feel bad for Jeanbo because he's Mikasa's second choice both in canon and in my headcanon!

Mikahisu - I haven't really considered them as a pair before; I got the vibe that Mikasa kinda hated Historia for capturing Eren's attention before she was shoved off the page to get pregnant and... whatever she ended up doing. Fascism, I guess. I could see them getting off to a rough start but Hisu wins Mikasa over with her charm and determination.

Mikahan - Another one I haven't really considered. I think Hanji's overzealousness would turn Mikasa off, although they could have a friendship like a less playfully antagonistic Levihan.

Mikannie - I want them to be friends so badly! They could be gym buddies who kiss sometimes. With the right AU you could make this pairing like lesbian Rivamika because those girls do not like each other.

Erumika - I'm into it in theory, but when I think about the pairing I don't really feel anything about it.

Mikasasha - I wish we'd gotten to see more of their friendship. One of you (I forget who lol) also reblogs a lot of romantic Mikasasha and it turns out I'm into that as well. I think Sasha would be a good influence on Mikasa, getting her to loosen up a little, but I guess asking for well-fleshed female friendships in shonen manga is probably a bit much.

#headcanon

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akkpipitphattana · 3 years

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So, I genuinely wasn’t planning on making one of these because I’m really not the best when it comes to expressing my feelings in words. However, I also wasn’t expecting to get tagged in the amount of these that I did tbh. I never really think of myself as someone that’s gonna be noticed all that often, I guess, and I’m also not exactly the most social of people even on here. But, the fact that I have been tagged in so many of these truly warms my heart and I do wanna say thank you to everyone that tagged me in one because it really touched me and made me feel so very loved. 💙

Before this year, it’s been about three years since I’ve actively been involved in any sort of fandom. I’ve watched things, I’ve engaged with things, and this blog has remained pretty active with me mostly just reblogging stuff for the last few years, but I didn’t really have any sort of place in any fandom and I certainly didn’t have any mutuals that I interacted with. This year, I finally started engaging more. While it was Lucas’s season that pushed me to get into Skam in the first place, it was Robbe’s that pushed me to start interacting more with the fandom. There really is nothing to compare watching that season live to, the fandom experience during that time was truly unique and one of my favorite parts about it and it’s exactly what drew me into becoming apart of it all.

I really didn’t expect to end up making so many friends, finding so many talented and wonderful people that I would love interacting with and I am truly grateful to just be here and experience it all.

Now for some individual appreciation 💙💙

@perfectsilence22 I tell you all the time how much I adore you and how much I appreciate you, but of course you gotta be top of my list here!! You’re truly one of my favorite people to talk to, to share theories with, or to even just see on my dash. It truly blows my mind how there are so many things the could have kept us from being friends, but I’ll gladly thank whatever it is that ended up pushing us together because I can’t imagine what it would be like not having you in my life. I love you so much 💙

@fatoudixon You know according to Tumblr, we’ve only been mutuals for about two months? It’s absolutely crazy to me that that’s the case, because not quote Robbe, but it sometimes feels like I’ve known you my whole life. I have no idea what it was that compelled you to message me, what it was the even got us to follow each other in the first place, but I’m truly grateful that it happened because talking to you is just the best part of my day a lot of the time. I know we make jokes about being unlucky because we’re the sobbe that are separated by an ocean, but in a lot of ways, I still feel so lucky that the universe brought us together anyway. I love you, baby 💙💙

@tsjernobyl Emma!! You’re one of my favorite blogs on here, and like I said when you followed me, I really wasn’t expecting it lol. But I’m grateful that you did because you’re definitely one of my faves to see on my dash and to interact with. You gifs and art are always so creative and beautiful and your presence in general just brings so much warmth 💙

@sonderthroughthestreets / @embeddedinmybrain Tasfia, you are truly one of the sweetest souls I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You’re so sweet and supportive and any time I get an ask from you or just see you on my dash, I smile. There’s a reason your emoji is the sun, and it’s cause you’re like a ray of sunshine ☀️. Also, you’re just a crazy talented writer and I can’t wait to see what you have in store for the future!!

@robbesdriesen Bianca, not only are you just so kind, but you’re also just one my favorite writers. I haven’t gotten a chance to reach your new fic (25K girl, how do you do it?) but I know it’s gonna be amazing like all of your others. You’re writing is so beautiful, which really just reflects the wonderful person you are as well 💙

@zoesrobbe My emo over the flatshare buddy! Lmao, as much as I curse you for it when make me miss them, I’m definitely also grateful for it, not just cause I’m soft for them but also because it usually means seeing your wonderful gifs. You’re so very talented when it comes to gif making, be it the coloring of the effects or the custom shapes added over, it all just adds up to truly gorgeous sets that always make me happy whenever I see them on my dash. Not to mention that you’re just such a lovely person on top of all that talent 😘

@suburbanenigma Carmen! We really haven’t gotten to talk much, but your shitposts are always some of my favorite things to see on my dash. You’re so funny and I definitely hope we get to talk more in the future 💙

Because I have a lot of mutuals that I haven’t really interacted with a whole lot, I’m gonna add a little section here to just thank all of you as well. I’m not the best at talking to people but know that I appreciate and love all of you as well and seeing you guys one my dash always makes me smile 💙

@dagcutie @mrijzermans @birthdaysentiment @joanabianchi @nyttvera @gele-gordijnen @annonymannonym @sanderxrobbee @mirroroferisedx @angel-necklace @itubainaretro @welcometo-saturn @sander-klaas @driesenrobbe @jebentnietalleen

Thank you so much to all of you and I wish all of you a very happy New Year!

#I love you guys 💙💙💙#mutuals 💙

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

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M’s APPECIATION POST 2020

Totally stealing this idea from @channiewoo Love youuuuu!!

So I started this blog back in December of 2019 and since then my account has grown to a collection of 5K of you which is absolutely insane! I love you all so much, that includes my mutuals, my followers and my lovely anons! I started this blog as a way to just write for my friends and share my stories with them, I never would have thought it would take off the way it did. You've all helped me learn to grow and get a little better as a writer (I still don't think I'm good enough yet but I promise I'm trying) Thank you to those who are supporting me and help me get by! 💖💕 - doing this now because I will forget come new years eve

@lynnthevirgo: We had a bit of a weird year this year with stopping talking because of ✨reasons that shan't be named✨ but I'm so glad I have my best friend back. You've taught me that it's not okay to go weeks/days/months on end without a break, to take my time and slowly start to learn to say the word ✨No✨ I know you don't like me giving you the credit for how I've turned out but it's true. You've helped me so much without even realizing it, all those times you've made me smile like a lil bitch. All those times I've woken up to a spam about your day, I always look forward to it since time zones can be whores and we live in different countries. I adore that we ARE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON! Just living in two different places. It's nice being able to talk to you about anything and everything and still feel comfortable around you. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH! (Even if I was a terrible friend and thought your name was Lynn for THE LONGEST time)

@snowy-meowl: I know we don't get to talk much these days because you're busy with studies and your work but I hope that one day when we've both relaxed into our places we can talk like we used to. I hope you're getting enough sleep and hydrating, I miss telling you off for being up when I'm waking up (time zones again) You've been there for me from like...The very beginning, you always listen to my stupid rants and give me advice and I wish I could so something in return for that honestly. I love you darling! Keep spamming me with art! I want to see everything you create! I miss you!

@mikoto-ica-fics: Ahhhh honestly I say it every time I @ you but you're one of my many inspirations to keep my writing going. One of the many reasons I started writing for skz as well, I love all of your content it's always so damn good! Your writing is exceptional just like you are. You're one of the sweetest and funniest people I've had the pleasure of meeting on here. We don't talk a lot but when we do we're always simping over the men we love and I adore it. I know I can always just send you a meme or a blog post out of nowhere and we can chat about it so it's great! There are not that many people I can feel comfortable with and you just make me feel so relaxed! Love you gorgeous!!! Also I still live with Chav's and want to die but I will smack that dumb bitch man up at work for you any day of the week boo, just say the word 💖

@channiewoo asdfghjkl; honestly I never would have thought people with the same bias would get along so well 👀😂 Then I realized that I know have a Simping buddy who understands the pains that come along with having a bias like CHRISTOPHER-FUCKING-BANG and we can just spam one another with posts. I know you said the same thing for me but I feel super duper comfortable with talking to you which, again, is odd for me because my anxiety is always like "nah fam you cant send them a message they hate you/find you annoying" so I really like that I can be open with you. You're a great writer, much more than you give yourself credit for. I'm probably going to start spamming your ask box with morning messages whenever I can, reminding you to hydrate and take breaks and stuff! I hope we can get to know each other better too!!!

@dark-peaches: I know we haven't been speaking long but asfhgafknag you literally spam me with pictures of the men we simp for and I adore it. We talk about anything and everything, from puppies to your upcoming works and I just wanted to say it's great!! I can't wait to see what else you come up with in the future! Please don't stop writing!!! (Take breaks obviously but you know what I mean!)

I hate this because there are so many of you I want to thank but I already feel like it's going to be long so I'm going to tag a bunch of you! If I don't tag you please don't feel like I forgot you, I'm just bad at remembering URL's! But thank you to all of you, including those I haven't interacted with (for real though, you ever need me hit me up) Thank you guys for always supporting me and being kind! Love you 💕💖🥰❤🤧🤧🤧🤧 I’m all sappy and soft!

@spearb1108 @nightshade-minho @yoongisdumplingcheeks @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @missmxqn @bisexualmess007 @killerharleyjaderose @hanjizung @decembermoonskz @slytherin-chan @mini-meanhoe @peachyhan @changbintrashbin @poppinpeaches @drumboydowoon @taeyohonic @joonbugsdimples @jeonssimp @anonymousrafa @jikooksgirl19 @yoongisqueenn @lordseochangbin

#m being sappy don't worry about it!#love you all so much #full of spelling and grammar mistakes but im emo nojudging allowed

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politicalmamaduck · 3 years

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Sabacc and Secrets

Thrawn and Ar’alani play sabacc with a smuggling ring. Written for @arcticelves, for the tarot card themed prompt "The Fool": madness, cliffs, gambling, innocence, recklessness. I hope you will like this! Read it on AO3 here.

“The Aristocra find your conduct unbecoming, Captain.” Ar’alani’s tone was not scolding, but rather wry, with raised eyebrows and upturned lips to match. It was not a full smile, nor did Chiss eyes twinkle, but Thrawn could not help thinking a lesser species would describe her expression thusly.

Thrawn would rather describe his friend and colleague as a work of art. She was not only a model officer, displaying keen intelligence, an eagerness to serve, and trim physical fitness, but also a willingness to listen and learn. She was not overly sentimental nor complacent, neither a slave to emotion or tradition.

Ar’alani was one of the few beings Thrawn ever trusted, from the moment they met at the Academy on Naporar. He knew the feeling was mutual. Their history of teamwork spoke for itself.

Therefore, he would bring her into his confidence, entrust her with his plan that would bring them one step closer to their enemy’s identity, and once more bring glory to the Ascendancy.

If she would take the gamble with him, despite what the Aristocracy would see as recklessness, all the better.

“Do you agree, Admiral?” He knew she did not. What she said next mattered, however, for the form of his planning.

“You know I don’t agree, Thrawn. However, you do need to learn to play the political game better. I won’t always be there to help you smooth things over afterward.”

She told him that before, numerous times.

“I am grateful for you and your assistance, Admiral.”

Ar’alani sighed. “What are you planning, Thrawn?”

He couldn’t resist smiling in turn.

Ar’alani couldn’t help but thinking that this time, truly, would be the time Thrawn’s recklessness, or madness, as some of the Aristocra would put it, would get them killed.

Here they were, diving over a cliff in a small speeder, chasing criminals--smugglers, most likely, not a full crime syndicate--who Thrawn believed had ties to those who wished to destroy the Ascendancy. There were still too many unanswered questions, too many variables to pinpoint a particular target or assailant. It was unsettling, Ar’alani thought, shifting in her seat as Thrawn guided them closer to the smugglers’ hideout.

She had no doubt, however, that they would be up to the challenge, when their adversary revealed themself. She trusted Thrawn, trusted herself.

Even if she wasn’t comfortable with that dive over the cliffs just moments before, or playing a high stakes sabacc game with these criminals. Just being Chiss would put them in danger. If the criminals discovered their true identities--Ar’alani wouldn’t allow herself to continue the thought.

She’d have to deal with the aftermath and the Aristocra regardless. She steeled her spine and took a deep breath as Thrawn landed the speeder. He nodded at her as they entered the lair. No words were necessary. They would play their parts, obtain information and hopefully cargo, and leave with their heads held high, if all went according to plan.

It was hard to see inside the cave; the glow-lamps placed throughout did not reach through all the shadows and curves to penetrate the pockets of darkness fully. Crates of cargo stacked upon each other loomed haphazardly above and to their sides. They pressed forward, traveling deeper as the ground sloped downward into the space beneath the mountain, despite the potential for an ambush they’d never see coming. Ar’alani could hear voices up ahead, and laughter. Credit chips clacked together, and mugs thunked against a table.

Ar’alani never could see the appeal in gambling or gaming, and she assumed Thrawn felt the same way. It was enough to gamble with their warriors’ lives on a mission. She ran a hand through her wig and adjusted her glasses to be sure they were in place, and took Thrawn’s hand as they entered the smugglers’ den.

No blaster fire or other weapons met them, but their arrival did cause a stir.

“We weren’t expecting any more tonight.”

“Who are the newcomers? Didn’t see them last time.”

“Friends, please, may we join?” Thrawn asked. “My partner and I would like to buy in for this round.”

Ar’alani smiled and nodded at the smuggler who approached to her left, trying to appear coy and flirtatious.

“What can I get you to drink?” he asked, reaching to take her arm. She tried not to recoil from his touch, and hoped he wouldn’t notice how cool her Chiss skin was. At the same time, she reminded herself they had no reason to suspect she and Thrawn were Chiss at all, and she highly doubted they were familiar with Pantoran physiology either.

“Ales for us both, please,” she said, smiling once more. After he departed to grab their drinks, she followed Thrawn to the sabacc table.

They made idle conversation while waiting for the cards to be dealt. The ale was not to Ar’alani’s taste, as she suspected, but it was a safer choice than any of the local homebrews. Smugglers of this sort wouldn’t stock fine Corellian whiskey, unless they were siphoning from their cargo. She listened carefully to the conversational cadences; she would gather the intelligence, and lose at cards, while Thrawn played to win.

The cards dealt, each player called out their opening total. Ar’alani held The Queen of Air and Darkness and Demise. -15 wasn’t a bad total, but the card titles gave her pause. She was not superstitious, nor were her species, and she pushed her thoughts away to concentrate.

Next to her, Thrawn chose to draw on his first turn. Ar’alani followed suit, drawing an eight. She would definitely lose at -7.

Thrawn’s expression was unreadable. She did not dare ask him anything, to draw more attention to them, but she did gently place her hand on his arm, to reassure herself, if nothing else.

With their cards drawn, Ar’alani listened to the chatter around them, allowing her focus to drift away from the game. There would be another shipment from this location next week, she deduced. The smugglers would meet the buyer in deep space.

On the next turn, Thrawn stood. Ar’alani chose to draw again, pulling 11. Her hand was far worse, and she hoped Thrawn’s was far better. This time, she felt Thrawn’s hand on her own arm to reassure her. She appreciated the gesture for what it was, for she knew Thrawn was never nervous.

Their second turns completed, starting with the dealer, everyone called their final hand. Thrawn inclined his head ever so slightly. He nodded to Ar’alani, who met his eyes.

Gasps arose around the table as Thrawn laid down his cards. “Idiot’s Array,” he said, without gloating. He won. Ar’alani grinned.

Her grin faded, however, when across the table, a burly human rose and slammed his fist down. “Not fair,” he bellowed. “This newcomer must have cheated.”

Thrawn shook his head. “I played an honest game, just as you did.”

“Take it easy, buddy,” another smuggler said, clapping the burly man on the back. “Have another drink and we’ll play another round.”

“Like hell we will,” the burly man said, pushing his colleague away. He fell down to the floor, knocking over a chair. Chaos reigned from then, as fights erupted across the bar. A Gamorrean took a swing at the burly man, trying to bring him down, while other humans helped their compatriot off the floor.

Thrawn and Ar’alani grabbed their winnings and ran for the entrance, blaster fire beginning to erupt behind them. They wouldn’t be able to carry any of the cargo, but at least what they learned was safe in their brains--and other information inconspicuously documented on their holorecorders.

“They headed for the entrance!” someone yelled from behind them. They ran, hurtling through the darkness, dodging the crate towers as best they could. Ar’alani hit the corner of one with her hip; she’d have dark bruising later, but the bruise was worth her life.

The blaster fire followed them as well; one hit a crate, spilling its contents and hopefully delaying their assailants.

As they emerged from the cave’s darkness into the night, Ar’alani and Thrawn leaped into their speeder, barely settling in before taking off.

Her heart still racing, Ar’alani turned to Thrawn. “Are you injured?”

“Just minor scrapes,” he replied. “And you?”

“I’ll have a large bruise tomorrow, but otherwise, I’m fine.”

Thrawn nodded. “Good. Thank you for your assistance. I trust you noticed their pattern?”

“Of course. We’ll be ready for their next shipment. Perhaps then we can uncover their buyer’s identity.”

“Indeed,” Thrawn said, appearing deep in thought.

They arrived back at their ship, docked in the closest city’s outskirts, without incident. They loaded the speeder, then strapped in for takeoff. Once their coordinates were set and the autopilot engaged, Ar’alani finally allowed herself to relax. She wanted to ask Thrawn how he played such a hand, but he spoke first.

“I will grab the medkit, if you will allow me to see to your injury?” His tone was quiet, unlike his usual confidence. The fighting would not have fazed him, certainly, she thought. Was there something she missed?

“Yes, thank you,” she replied, unstrapping herself and following him toward the bunks. He grabbed the kit from a shelf, and she sat down, allowing him to sit next to her.

“Please accept my apologies for your injury, and what you will have to explain to the Aristocra when we encounter these smugglers next,” he started.

Ar’alani laughed. “I will deal with them when I have to. How did you play such a hand?”

Thrawn put down the bacta patches and met her eyes. “I analyzed the game, the players, their weaknesses. I assumed those across the table would be overconfident, and pull too many cards and drinks.”

She nodded. “A sound strategy, as always.”

“There is no one else with whom I would rather strategize.”

Ar’alani smiled as Thrawn placed a hand on her cheek. His hand was soft, gentle. As he leaned in to kiss her, she thought the gamble had been worth it.

#thrawn x ar'alani #ar'alani #admiral ar'alani #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn #fan fiction #star wars #my writing #arcticelves #tumblr friends

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yukikorogashi · 3 years

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i don't think words can cut it, but all in all, the mun on this blog is an absolutely fantastic incredible and extremely kind and generous person and not to mention AMAZING friend? you really bring joy to everyone's days, and i am so thankful and lucky to know you as my friend for all this time <3 the people on here are incredibly lucky to have you as a mutual too, myself included!!!

How would you describe the MUN of this blog? // Always accepting!

(For example, if somebody asked you what the MUN of this blog was like, what would you say?)

You’re so right though, there is so much that I wish I could properly articular when it comes to how I feel about your amazingness, and ofc-- catch me here struggling once again. 😔 Once again, words can never accurately describe just how much I love you, Alice. And what an absolute blessing to the world you are and to all those around you. To have met you and to be blessed with your friendship over these past years has truly been one of the greatest gifts I could have ever received, and I will thank the heavens over and over that we got to meet the way we had. Especially on this hellsite, it would be RPing itself that would allow me to meet one of the best darn human being in the whole wide world-- you. That no matter what obstacles may come my way, I will always remember that I am still blessed, with you by my side. ❤️

I am so glad that you view me in such a positive light, and am truly honoured to be your friend. And once again, I think you know just how much you mean to me. And how you yourself have become one of my bestest friends. To have a buddy that I can bond with so well when it comes to art and writing, it’s always an amazing time tbh when it comes to hanging out with you. How easily we can connect on all sorts of things. My heart is honestly a flutter during most of our conversations, because of just how fun it all is. You truly bring so much joy to so many lives, and I can’t thank you enough for that, Alice. I love you so darn much and I can’t sing your praises enough. You make the world so much more beautiful than one can possibly imagine with your presence and all that you offer to it. And I will never stop reminding you of that. ❤️

#villageoflords #❄️ THE SWEETEST THING ❄️#❄️ QUEUE ❄️

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ghostiewriter · 3 years

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meet theodore montgomery | character inspection

This is an insight into Theodore Montgomery, a character commonly used within my outer banks fanfictions. He’s portrayed as Pope’s boyfriend, and to save myself from having to explain his personality in each piece of work, I decided to make this post where you could learn all you like about Theo and still enjoy the fanfics he’s in!

Theodore Montgomery is a loveable, coffee-addicted teddy bear that stole the heart of Pope Heyward. He grew up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with his mother. His father in and out due to his work in the military, however, when Theo was 8 years old, he lost his father in the line of duty. Theo tried to hold onto the good memories he had of his father, but the loss of a father figure in his life did has some lasting effects. It definitely made him a much more protective, cautious person in relationships. It takes him a while to get close to people, but once he does, he is a very affectionate and caring person who has no shame in expressing how he feels.

In most pieces of work, Theo will either be someone who has moved to Outer Banks or will be someone that Pope has met during college. His interest lies with Art History, which is very clear when you see his general aesthetic. He wouldn’t say he’s prestigious but he definitely has a lot of opinions. He is generally quite outspoken and extroverted, the type of person that thrives being the centre of attention.

Theo and Pope’s relationship is almost like the definition of “opposite’s attract”. Unlike Pope who struggled to accept and figure out who he was in such a small, judgemental town where uncertainty was seen as a weakness, Theo always had a sense of surety in his identity. It was an odd concept for him, that realisation at a fairly young age that these feelings he had weren’t deemed as “normal” at the time. Luckily with such an accepting mother, he had a safe environment to find himself and figure out who he was. It is something he is incredibly grateful for, and he wished his boyfriend had a similar experience. However, Pope has definitely grown and learnt to accept himself better with the help of Theo, who acted as a strong support system for him.

Theo did struggle slightly trying to fit into the Pogue dynamic. He didn’t want to oppose, but Pope was adamant that he fit in with his best friends. Theo was worried that his relationship with Pope would change when they were around his friends—an insecurity which developed after a few bad relationships—but he was pleasantly shocked to find out that Pope’s friends were very different. It took a little bit of working out but Theo soon felt like he had comfortably fit into Pope’s life just as well as he did with his.

Also a few wee random facts about Theo: he is sucker for young adult fantasy books, Jacob Black from The Twilight Saga was his gay awakening, he is a big dessert person, his favourite colour is yellow and if he had to be stuck on an island with any celebrity it would have to be Ryan Reynolds or Will Smith.

Theo is known to have quite a strong personality which can be a bit off-putting at first. It’s just that he has a lot of emotions and has always been taught to express them as he sees fit. He knows he can seem like quite a lot at first, but he would like to think it’s all a part of his charm. Once you get to know him and befriend him, you will see how caring and protective he can be. He lost his father at a young age, it gave him slightly commitment issues and so sometimes it can take a while but if you’re friends with Theo, then he sees it as a long-time contract. You guys are in this together now, no getting out of it. It sounds daunting but he can be a bit clingy. He’s one of the best friends you’ll ever have, blindly loyal and will follow you to the end of the world.

He is aware of his flaws though. He is stubborn beyond belief, and I mean it when I say that this boy has a memory like no one’s business. He may not hold a grudge for long but he will remember every way you’ve wronged him. And if you get into an argument with him? Well, good luck buddy, because he will be bringing up any sort of wrongdoing from three years ago. It took him a while to find that self-love and realise his own worth, and now that he has it? He won’t be letting go of it anytime soon.

He naturally an extroverted person, constantly being able to talk and entertain anyone no matter where he is. He believes that is one of the things that attracted Pope to him, beyond his own intellectuality (even if he isn’t as scientifically and analytically viewed as Pope). Theo loves to be the person to make people smile and laugh and think and just have a generally good time. It goes quite healthily with Pope’s much more subdued vibe.

Overall, Theo seems like the type of person who would be quiet, sombre and generally keeps to himself. Hate to tell you that you are wrong. Theo has a large, expressive soul that he most definitely isn’t keeping hidden. But he is a loyal, trustworthy friend who you can trust with your life.

In terms of overall relationships, Theo is fairly well off. Even to strangers, he is always acting as though he has known the person for longer than five minutes. He does his best to make sure no one feels awkward or uncomfortable, even if you are passing him in the street or have been his best friend for three years. Theo thrives to make sure that it’s a mutually rewarding relationship between you two.

In his more personal relationships, it’s deeper than this. His relationship with his mother is one that he views as very important. His mother is his best friend, and he has no shame in admitting that. For a very long time, they only had each other. Theo learnt very quickly that no matter what happened, his mother was one of the few constants in his life, and he never took it for granted. Cassie Montgomery is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet in your life. She is always happy and smiley, going out of her way to bake people cookies and help out at local charities when she isn’t working. She is literally an angel and Theo couldn’t be prouder to call her his mother.

His relationship with Pope is one that would surprise people. Due to the contrasting personalities and interests, people tend to assume that they clash a lot—art vs science? Never a good combination in people’s eyes. But Pope and Theo exceed those expectations. They just click. Opposites attract and all that jazz. Theo helped bring out a more expressive, open side to Pope. His sexuality was definitely a struggle to come to terms with whilst growing up in a small town where your business was everyone’s business and breaking from the norm was like social suicide. But with Theo, all these feelings and struggles felt…insignificant. He validated all emotions, made him realise that these fears and worries were not worth risking his happiness and hiding who wants to be. And Pope helped be Theo’s anchor (not in a teen wolf way, lads, Theo ain’t a werewolf). Theo is known to have his thoughts run, his mind go wild and his life just be put on high speed. But it’s Pope that puts a hand on his shoulder and helps him calm down, stay grounded and in the moment. Their relationship is one of the purest and equal ones you could ever ask for, and it’s beautiful.

Theo’s relationship with the Pogues is an interesting one. It took some time but Theo found it easy to slip into the dynamic. Sarah was definitely the easiest for Theo to really get to know and bond with. She was on the same level as him with his extravagance, and it was amazing to talk to someone about different broadways and musicals—Pope was never a huge fan, even though he pretended to be. John B was just happy to see Pope happy, and so he instantly took a liking to Theo. It took him a while to get used to the hugs—Pope didn’t lie when he said JB was an affectionate guy—but he knew that John B was someone who you could always rely on. Kiara took a little bit more effort than the other two, purely because she just didn’t want Pope to get hurt. Theo was the first boyfriend Pope had ever brought to the Pogues, Kiara just wanted to make sure that Theo was as into the relationship as Pope was. Once she saw the love between them, she gave Theo the greenlight and happily accepted him. JJ was quite difficult as well. Theo was this city boy—a little too kook-like for JJ just to accept him right away. Gradually, he saw how happy Theo made Pope, how much brighter and cheery Pope was, and realised that Theo was a genuine guy. After that, Theo was accepted into the Pogues’ dynamic with no problem.

In terms of physical health, Theo has few issues. He is quite fit—not a huge fan of exercising but he does enjoy running or basic cardio, especially when he is stressed or in the need to clear his mind. He is also quite a picky eater (that is also because he has a few allergies), so in terms of his diet, it is very consistent and healthy. However, he does suffer from asthma (which is somewhat ironic with his hobby of running) but it was far more serious when he was younger. As he got older, it became less of an issue. It only tends to get bad when it’s particularly cold or he is has been doing some serious exercise. Otherwise, Theo remains physically healthy.

His mental health is a little different. It isn’t the most obvious thing necessarily when you meet Theo or see his ostentatious personality, but he has dealt with a general anxiety disorder for majority of his life. He has an annoying wee habit of constantly overthinking and feeling the need to prove himself. It was something that affected him as a child and still does now. Over the years and having went to therapists and councillors, he has learnt better ways to deal with all these emotions and thoughts. There are still days where it’s particularly bad, but he is grateful that he has people like his mother and Pope who understand what he is going through and do whatever they can to help him through the bad days.

Theodore Montgomery was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on 31st July on a bright, summer morning. He was the only child of Cassie and Richard Montgomery, but he was their pride and joy. A bright and jolly kid, he rarely cried and caused any ruckus—except during meal times, the picky eater within him was there from a young age. Life was great for the Montgomery’s for the first few years of Theo’s life, fine and dandy until his dad got shipped off again for duty. It was a hard concept for him to grasp onto as a child but one he got used too—dad being away for months and then coming home for a few more before he was shipped away again. It was a routine young Theo had grasped onto.

What he didn’t really understand was when his mother opened the door and the man on the other side wasn’t his father, they wore the same clothes but this was not his dad. Admittedly, explaining the situation to Theo was much harder than actually receiving the news. It was hard for Theo to realise that his father wasn’t coming back. It was harder when he heard all the other kids talk about their dads on father’s day and such.

It was hard but he had his mother to help him through it, and he helped her.

This was also around the time where Theo’s struggles with anxiety and panic attacks were prominent. His mother put him in therapy quite early on and it was definitely something he appreciated in the long-term, even if he didn’t at the time.

Overall, his experience of school was a rocky one. He enjoyed elementary and middle school—he was a bright boy and never had issues with the academic side of things. It was near the end of middle school and his transition into high school where problems began to arise. Hey, teenagers can be really fucking mean and these ones were no different. There was a variety of things he was picked on for, and though he tried to not let it get to him, it was the fake friends that really bothered him. These ‘friends’ that were just pretending to mock him and whatnot, set him up with a guy just to humiliate him and so on. It was really fucking mean. He was happy to escape.

Depending on the timeline of the works Theo is in, his story goes generally in two directions. For his senior year, he transfers to Kildare County High School where he eventually meets Pope and the rest of the gang. Or more commonly, he doesn’t meet Pope until college where they both attend Boston University, with Theo studying Art History and Pope doing a Biomedical Forensic Science degree before medical school. Theo’s first encounter was seeing Pope on the other side of the communal courtyard where he was giving a fellow student some serious side glare and from that moment Theo just knew this boy was the one for him.

And the rest is in the fics!

#character inspection #theodore montgomery #outer banks fanfiction

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tiernamente · 4 years

Note

Hello! 💫✨💛 This is the love bot! I am here to ask you to describe your mutuals as your favorite things/feelings! Spread some love during these tough times 💛✨💫 Then send this to 10 people and keep the love going 💛

This is gonna be a long list cause I have a lot of love to share!🥺💖💖💖

@chaylani nerdy memorabilia, cuddles with my pets (Benji and Mochi) & good morning messages

Elle, my love, my adorable dork, my one and only. Am I writing a love poem? (maybe) I remember when you first messaged me and we realized that we’re both really nerdy. We’ve bonded over our shared interests which resulted in our strong bond. I trusted you instantaneously and you make me all soft which is why I can’t see my life without you now.

@khaleesionjupiter my obsession of plushies, blankets & mugs

My baby! Whenever I receive a message from you, I get this instant feeling of wanting to hug you and protect you. Nothing can stop us from fulfilling our evil mad scientists plans. You crack me up and make me smile so fast that it’s crazy. Thank you for being you.

@do-you-know-bts deep talks with friends & warm cups of coffee

Helena, we both now that our sleep schedules suck but at 4am the thoughts just come rolling out. I’m glad to have someone who understands the bad moments just as much as the good. You give me comfort even if you give me a heart attack from all the 2seok content. (Keep it coming please!)

@shadowdevilsslayer nature/landscape photography & fresh baked goods

I know you hate the name but I love seeing Abi’s adventures (even if it’s the same path). I enjoy seeing nature’s beauty in any shape or form and you live in a place that’s surrounded by green!!!!!! You may be more reserved but your caring nature shines through. Thank you for being that mom friend we need.

@zamisriza-the-resurrection board game nights with friends

Zami!!!!! You’re so adorable and funny. Your love for Jungkook makes me all types of soft. You’re just like during a game night, were things start off calm but get chaotic as time progresses. I love that about you!

@glossyvante oranges, mangoes, watermelons & strawberries!

Lovely Mica! You’re such a sweet soul just like my favorite fruits haha. Thank you for letting me get some sneak peaks of your story. (I hope I get to see more of your works soon!) Also thanks for dealing with my crackhead snaps because I’m such a dummy.

@alittlesugaorspice tea & biscuits (this opportunity was too good, sorry!)

The absolute best person to roast Helena with me! Thank you Li for putting us all together. You make me laugh so hard when we’re on a call and you have such funny stories to share. You’re gonna be an amazing veterinarian!

@d-rex03 blasting music in my room & having my own jam session

Querida, you already know I love you so so so much! You’re the cutest little bean and I enjoy sending you random Yoongi related posts. You two are so similar that it makes sense why you love him. (But I still love you more!) Te quiero muchisimo chapina!

@dreamyeyes26 watching my favorite youtubers/random videos online

Naz! I love speaking with you when I get the chance to because you’re so calming and comforting (just like the videos I watch haha). You make me happy just by being there. I hope you continue to take care of yourself and I love you!

@ahh–lexia daydreaming with headphones in during a road trip

The homieeee Lex! I love how we’re both so damn loud. That crackhead energy really makes itself known. You’re easy to talk to and laugh with. I love seeing your creative side because it’s really cool!

@hobissunshiness the feeling of starting a new book/show/series

You’re like a breath of fresh air Sofie. I love reading the stories you come up with or hearing about your ideas. Your mind is so powerful and I want to encourage all of your ideas (even if some of them are cursed).

@napofamikrokosmos learning random facts about things

I found it super funny when I realized how we just have random knowledge about things. Google who? I only know Sam. You get super passionate about stuff and I absolutely love that about you. Keep doing what you’re doing sweetie!

@billie-harper discovering new music & getting obsessed with the artist

I love seeing your posts because I’ll notice we’ll share a lot of similar interests. It’s really exciting to see how much we have in common. You’re really kind and I would love to talk to you more. (Suho’s album is TOO GOOD FOR WORDS!)

@jayhoee creating handmade gifts for my friend’s birthdays

The meme queen Kaite! I love how we got into bts at the same time and that we both haven't been to a concert (freaking corona ruining our time to shine). Keep those memes coming Kaite. They're essential in this time of need.

@liamgayllagher the smell of my mom’s cooking/any home cooked meal

My twin! You're such an extreme version of me and that's saying something. I love how enthusiastic and loud you can get over things you love. Please continue that and I enjoy all the lovely messages you send me.

@the-assembly-call receiving memes from friends on social media

Overalls!!!!! You're so smol and cute and you make me laugh alot with your memes. You're a wonderful human being and I'm glad to have met you.

@dearmyxing soundtracks, soundtracks, soundtracks! (games/movies/etc.)

The Queen when it comes to being a fangirl. I bow to you and respect you. You’re so damn cool to talk to Mary Jane. Thank you for being so awesome. Also, I promise I’ll get around to watching the prodigal son. If not, just yell at me until I do.

@jxnaexo warm hugs, smiles & laughs

Nana! Like I've said before, you're so wholesome and caring and considerate about everyone. You care so much about us and I couldn't be more grateful to have you as a friend. I will fight anyone for you!

@soondaengie finding bright clothing with cool patterns

Omg kiddo you make me laugh so much because of the theories you have or the stories you share. You're bright and passionate and so cute!

@uibout tiramisu & coffee ice cream

This is a cop out because I actually do love tiramisu! You made me wheeze when you sent me those drunk posts. I'll always be your dweeb. (I love you Logan. Also, you jerk you didn't tell me you switched your url, I had to search for you!)

@gukssunshine that feeling of solving homework problems correctly

I love that we can complain about school to each other. You’re so honest and sweet with me and I love you so much Tanya. I love your energy when you talk about random things.

@zombiewerewolfqueen earrings, eyeshadow palettes, nail polish art

I have basic lobe earrings but yours looked so cool when you showed it to me. I don’t do makeup myself but I enjoy seeing the colors and designs people will do. Similar to that, I love seeing how creative you are with your writing even if I don’t understand the context.

@kiwipitupandstir winning on mario kart

You're such a cool person and I absolutely love seeing your posts on my feed. I wish you the best bud. Stay true and stay cool.

@notreyoon flowers, gardens, all aesthetically pleasing things

Ah yes the superior Leslie, you’re just as precious as yoongles. Whenever I see your blog I'm like, how is a human this stunning?!?!?! Like girl, show me your secrets! Sending you my love!

@clickclacktothemangmang museums/observatories/spontaneous adventures

I miss you my fellow funky little Hobi lover. It was so nice to talk to you about the random things bts would be releasing last year or the shows they were doing. You're so adorable and I hope you continue to shine bright!

@majestikblue listening to stories about people/life (post secret/humans of new york/etc.)

Ah yes my taegi buddy. Thank you for showing me post secret because I haven't been the same since. I love stories and you encouraged that. Continue to yell about taegi to me and I will continue to yell about 2seok to you.

@galaxiejoon going to bed after a long day

My fellow nam2seok enthusiast. Unfortunately, we don’t talk much but whenever I see your tags on posts, I crack up so hard. You’re so relatable so just keep doing what you’re doing bud.

I love you all! And to all of my other mutuals I haven’t had the chance to talk to, please know that I love you too! I promise I’m nice????

🥺🥺💕💕😘😘 sending y'all my love

#Anonymous #phew this took a long time #sorry for spelling errors #I did not proofread #but yeah these peeps are great just fyi #love them lots!#mutual cutie pies #asks

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imamotherfuckingstar-lord · 5 years

Text

Grateful

Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Story with smut, M/F/M, no stucky. Oral sex. OVER 18 ONLY

A/N: 4K Commission for: @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester

Summary: You are feeling inadequate in your relationship with Steve and Bucky.

The coffee shop was busy as you navigated through the small afternoon crowd to get to the display of muffins, stomach growling for something blueberry or chocolate- maybe both if they did that. You reached the display and bent down, eyes beckoning back and forth between the blueberry and chocolate chips. Deciding it was a self love day, you opted for both and wait your turn patiently in line. It smelled like brewing coffee and baking goods, and when your turn was up, your cell phone started to ring. Quickly, you ordered the two muffins and coffee, before handing over your debit card and scrambling to pick it up.

It was Bucky and you smiled as you said hello. “Did you guys just get back?”

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he said, he sounded a bit tired but his voice warm.

“You sound tired, are you headed to the apartment?”

After a quick briefing with the team he said. He mentioned picking up take out on his way home and when you asked if Steve was around, he handed over the cell to his friend. Steve’s voice was warm and steady, he asked how you were and if you missed him. The café had become loud and you tried to whisper that you did, but he said he could not hear you and you laughed.

“Of course, I missed you, I always miss the two of you.”

“Good, we’ll be home soon,” he promised, excusing himself. “The meeting is started, see you soon, honey.”

The two of you hung up just in time for your order to be called – leaving a tip, you gathered the coffee and bag of muffins, claiming a spot at a table near the large bay windows. The weather was becoming warmer, summer was just around the corner and the thought of less layering made you sad; you loved the jackets and scarves, not to mention Bucky and Steve both looked great in wool winter coats. Bucky in a black one, while Steve opted for a dark blue coat.

Relaxing in the seat, you took a sip from the coffee and eased into your daily social media feed, scrolling through photos and alternating between the blueberry and chocolate muffins. Nothing out of the ordinary, except you had been tagged in a photo by Steve, who had posted it this morning. Clicking on the notification, you saw that he had taken an aerial photo of the city, must have been from the quinjet. You were tagged in the corner of the photo and the captioned read: Finally coming home to my girl.

It was sweet and it made you smile, Steve was such a romantic and your relationship with him was public – the thing the public did not know, and only the people close to you did, was that Bucky was also in the mix. It had happened organically over a course of two years, it started off as mutual friendship after you were hired to work with the Avengers on PR stuff and media control. You had to conduct interviews with each of the members to get a feel of their character, Steve was a bit apprehensive at first but the two of you hit it off rather quickly. You had a pretty easy-going sense of humor and Steve could not resist but Bucky on the other hand was a different story.

He was stoic and shy, so you asked him to meet you outside the facility for the interview – you picked a stop near the lake and just talked to him, mostly asking one layer questions until he opened up more and things started to meld after that. The two men sought your company, especially since you practically lived at the facility – damage control was a constant need, but slowly you turned into almost like an assistant to the Avengers. You helped them normalize their lives, they were superheroes, but the media acted like they were celebrities – gossip and tabloids were constantly coming up with stories about them that were untrue. It was your job to paint them in a colorful light – not that that was hard.

Enjoying your muffin, you clicked on the comments and smiled at all the positive greetings, welcoming Steve back to the city, but the further you scrolled down, it seemed the more negative. Just like a celebrity, huh? The good and bad things people will say, Steve had tough skin, but you did not. There were mountains of comments on how Steve could do way better which you could only assume was from people who had clicked on your profile – it was private, but your profile photo still showed. It was a typical posing photo taken outside a bar Steve, Bucky and you frequent. Bucky had taken it and told you to pose with your hand so your hip, you did, and he liked it so much he had a wallet size print of it on the dashboard of his car – the man adored you.

Yet, people were cruel and you were dating two gorgeous men (although they only knew about one of them), and people were quick to point out all your flaws; you were not skinny enough, tall enough and did not live up to the male gaze standard society pushed. It hurt, even though you wish it had not.

Sighing, you closed the app and tried to focus on the two muffins waiting to be consumed – except now, you were not feeling so hungry. Gazing around the café, you could not stop from comparing yourself to all the women walking around. Feeling insecure, and hating it, you quickly packed up and left – hailing a cab back to the apartment.

When you got home, the apartment was quiet; it was a two bedroom layout that was nestled in the middle of Brooklyn – a place you found to help Steve and Bucky feel at home, and also a place for the three of you to escape from the facility. Most nights the three of you shared a bed but occasionally Bucky would become sleepless and have nightmares, so he requested his own room for those times. But ever since friendship turned into something more, those nightmares were few and far.

“Parker,” you cooed out, closing the door behind as you walked into the apartment – it was quiet until you heard the pitter pattering of small paws on the wood. It was Parker, the orange cat Bucky and you adopted. Steve was more of a dog person, but it did not take much convincing once Parker was home.

“Hey, buddy.”

You kneeled and started to pet him, ignoring the buzzing on your cell – the whole cab ride home you were getting tagged in photos that paparazzi had taken of Steve and you over the last year. Again, superheroes were treated like celebrities and were followed around, even when they were trying to be normal – therefore you understood why Bucky stayed out of the public. Steve, well, everyone knew who he was in and out of the suit – so he learned to tolerate the photo stalking, although he was known to give a stern look here and there.

“Come, Parker, let’s get you some food.”

The cat followed you to the kitchen and meowed as you took out his food, following you to his food dish. As you fed him, your cell buzzed again, so you gave in and walked over to the kitchen counter. It was a text from Bucky, saying the meeting was running later than he anticipated and the two would be home soon with food. You wanted to reply but you had an itch to go back on Instagram, so you did.

Boy, you wish you hadn’t.

Twenty minutes later, you were on the couch in the living scrolling through countless photos of Steve and you, and a few of Bucky. There were posts dedicated to the notion that Steve Rogers aka Captain America would ever date someone like you – someone who was short and curvy (not that false curvy that was just ass and boobs). You were not a Victoria's Secret model, let’s just put it that way and while you were perfectly fine with your body, people could be hurtful with their words. Especially when they could hide behind a screen.

There was a photo in particular that someone had taken of Bucky and you in a coffee shop, the two of you lingering near a window somewhere in Brooklyn – he was smiling at you, the one he often saved for you, real sincere and quiet, if a smile could be quiet. You were holding a coffee and smiling right back at him, and the comments were cruel.

He must be faking that smile; he has to put up with his teammate’s girlfriend.

She’s basic AF

HOW IS THIS CAP’S GF??

You remembered that day, it had been the first time in weeks that Bucky had decided to venture outside the block of your apartment. He asked if you would occupancy him to get some coffee and Steve urged you to go, kissing you goodbye on the forehead as he held Parker in his arms. That day, Buck dressed in a black hoodie and jeans, black glove on his left hand. He quietly pointed out places he knew back when he was a kid, noting how much things had and hadn’t changed. You listened contently and when you were inside the café, he told you he loved you – it was the first time he had said it since the three of you all moved in together and he mentioned how much he wanted to kiss you but what would the world think about him kissing Captain America’s girl?

“I’m your girl too, James.”

He smiled then and you smiled back at him, then he noticed a woman taking a photo from outside the café window.

You sat up on the couch and glared at the screen in your hand – Steve always said not to get carried away with the negativity and even offered to take down his social media. A part of you wanted him to, but you knew it made him feel connected to the world, so you said it was okay. Turning off the cell, you placed it on the coffee table adjacent to the couch and laid down. Your hand ran over your stomach, poking at the pockets of fat under your shirt and sighed thinking about how perfect Bucky and Steve’s bodies were – perfectly sculptured works of art. It made you feel unworthy and you didn’t like that feeling, so you decided to just sleep until two arrived.

…

“She’s not answering my texts, maybe she fell asleep.”

“Natasha just texted me, she’s been fighting with people on your photo again.”

Steve frowned and searched for his cell, Bucky watching as they waited for the elevator door to open. The latter was holding take out from the Chinese place you loved so much while Steve’s eyebrows scrunched as he read over what was happening on his last post.

“What the hell is wrong with people, Buck?”

“They’ve always been the same, nothing’s changed much, has it?”

Steve sighed and followed Bucky into the elevator, and when the doors closed, he looked over to his best friend. “I hate bullies.”

Parker met the pair in the small foyer of their apartment, the cat purred and rubbed against each of their leg before Bucky picked him up and followed Steve further into the apartment. They saw you sleeping on the couch, Steve sat on the coffee table and picked up your cell when it began to buzz. Bucky gave him a look as he tapped on the Instagram notification and saw that you were being tagged in awful posts. It made him angry and Bucky didn’t have to look to understand, instead he walked around the couch to you and sat on the edge, effortlessly shifting your body. He reached down to touch your face and he smiled, looking at Steve.

“It’s good to be home.”

Steve grinned. “Especially when we have her to come home to. I got to say Buck, ever since we made the move in with her, things have never felt better.”

“Agreed.”

Bucky looked down at you, Parker still in his arms, and leaned forward to kiss your cheek, his lips on your skin stirred you awake. You jumped up in surprise. He grinned as you brushed back the hair from his face and looked over to Steve.

“You’re back!”

Parker jumped out of Bucky’s arms into yours and he nestled on top of your lap, purring as you petted his back. Steve asked if you were hungry and mentioned the takeout he left in the kitchen, you said no and the two exchanged glances. Steve held up your cell and apologized for tagging you in the photo.

“I should have known better; people tend to show their worst online.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not, you shouldn’t have to worry about this.”

Bucky reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze. He reminded you that people didn’t know your life and that at the end of the day, it only mattered what you thought of yourself – and a little of what Steve and he thought, he said jokingly. It made you smile, his sweetness but your brain hyper focused on the result of reading all those comments – no one thought you were good enough for Steve or Bucky. No one. Both men sensed that your smile and assurance that you were fine was false, so they exchanged a knowing glance.

“You brought food, yes? I’m hungry.”

“In due time,” Steve answered, taking Parker from your lap.

You eyed him and asked what he meant, but Bucky gently grabbed you by the chin, forcing your gaze to move to him. Steve’s footsteps were heard going down the hall, and you wondered where he had gone until Bucky kissed you gently on the lips. His lips caught you by surprise, but you melted back into the couch as he pushed you down, his body hovered over yours. You could not help but groan when his tongue played against yours and his hand moved to caress the side of your face – Bucky’s reputation as the Winter Soldier was the opposite of his ways of being a lover. He was gentle and tended to your needs before his own.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered into your ear, giving the edge of your lobe a loving nip. You groaned again, gripping his shoulder with both hands as his lips moved from your ear down to your neck, where he pressed little kisses until you grasped in pleasure. “That’s my girl.”

“She’s both our girl, Buck.” Steve appeared in the room, now dressed in gray sweats and nothing else. Bucky stopped his kissing and got up from the couch, saying something about putting the takeout in the oven to keep warm. You sat up and regained your breath as Steve sat next to you on the couch – his smile was boyish, but his body was one of a man. Your eyes never could help but take him in every time he walked into a room and it always surprised you when you were the one he was walking too.

“People have nothing better to do than break down those they have no reach to.”

“Wise words, Rogers. How did you get so smart?”

He shrugged, using his arm to pull you into his side. His fingers pressed into the side of your arm and he held you tight against his body. Your throat clenched with the feel of his skin and before you could even say something smart and witty, he had you on his lap. He was fast, like that, could have you coming in seconds if he really wanted to. Mostly, he liked to take his time.

You looked down at him, his head dipped back against the couch. His blue eyes were staring up at you, like a shy schoolboy. Touching the side of his face, you asked how you got so lucky. He shook his head and kissed your hand, placing it on his bare chest.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Bring yourself down, it hurts me to hear those things from you.”

“I won’t say them anymore.”

That’s not what he meant, but he knew no matter what he or Bucky said, they needed to show you how much they love you. So, he adjusted you on his lap, your knees nestled into the cushion of the sofa. Both his hands went down to your waist and he called out to Bucky, who walked into the living room. Your heart pounded as he made his way to the couch, settling down next to his friend; his smile made you smile.

“I love you,” you whispered to him, his eyes softening with your words. He wanted you to know how special he felt when you gifted him with those words, with the light you brought into his life.

“I love you,” he mused back.

“We both love you.”

Steve pulled you down to his and kissed you passionately, his hands on your face. He whispered that you were the only one for him and no one could take that away. You felt his truth in his kisses and then you felt him hard under you, which excited you. But then he stopped kissing you, your eyes still closed when you felt Bucky pull you down to him. Your eyes opened to Bucky’s, who pulled you over his body, your back against his chest.

“We’re going to show you how much we love you,” he whispered, his fingers dancing down the front of your stomach to the waistband of the joggers you were waiting. The excitement made your toes warm as he tugged at the strings, loosening them up a bit. Steve watched as Bucky’s hand disappeared under the pants and you moaned quietly when his fingers made their way under your underwear. He touched you slowly at first, hungrily pawning at you until Steve stood up and eagerly pushed away the coffee table away from the couch. He positioned himself on the floor, kneeling in front of the couch. Bucky spread his legs, using his hands to do the same to yours after Steve pulled off your sweats and panties.

The cool air made you shudder until Steve placed both his palm on top of your thighs, as Bucky kissed your neck and his hands roamed under your shirt to your breasts. His touch was a bit rough as he pushed aside the top of your bra to get to your nipples, pinching them slightly. Your hips jerked up but you weren’t sure if it was because of Bucky or the fact that Steve’s head was now buried between your thighs, his mouth on you. It was probably both.

You moaned loudly and wiggled under Steve’s mouth, the feeling of his tongue licking you gave way to wanting him to stop and wanting him to never stop – it was so intense it almost hurt as you cried out. Your head rested against Bucky’s chest as his hold on your breast tightened. There was no control when you were with them, it was almost unfair but that thought always drifted away with every touch of their mouths and hands.

“We love you,” Bucky whispered, his teeth pulled at your earlobe and you whimpered. “You’re the only one we want, right Steve?”

He didn’t verbally answer, but his tongue lapped faster at your clit and that was enough to speak more than volumes. You called out both their names and the two men worked faster, Bucky nibbling on your neck and Steve including his fingers in the quest to finish you off. It was insanely disorienting, but that’s what their love felt to you – two large forces constantly circling you, protecting you and more often than not, guiding you to a level of happiness you could have never imagined. You loved them deeply and profoundly, it felt implicitly wrong at times, for them to feel the same way.

Yet, here they were – after a long mission and weeks of preparation for said mission. They had come home, to relax and have some form of normalcy to find you in need of comfort, and they do so without hesitation or complaint. They do it because they simply love you and had for a while now. They do what needs to be done, so you can feel love because nothing could ever be enough to show you the gratitude both felt. Gratitude towards you for choosing them both, for seeing that they needed you more than you needed them and for making space in your heart for the both of them.

“Come one, sweetheart,” Steve purred and lifted you from under, your ass in his hands as he dug deeper with his tongue, his whole mouth on you. Moaning, you felt the intensity fire up, burning away all the negative comments and remarks, the ugly thoughts and feelings of unworthiness of being the lover of Captain America and the Winter Soldier, because that wasn’t it. You were the lover of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, two guys from Brooklyn, who had kind hearts and even kinder souls. You were more than worthy of that title and no amount of hateful remarks could ever change that – you saw that now.

“I – I’m…”

The rest of the sentence disappeared into the air as the pair moved faster to satisfy you, knowing the way you loved to be touch and with that knowledge, the life time friends brought you to the edge then swiftly and delicately, pushed you off.

Your body shook uncontrollably, the air condition cooled your warm skin. Steve licked you a few times more before kissing the inside of both of your thighs. He sat back and rubbed at his chin; Bucky gave your breast a tender squeeze before releasing them. He kissed you on the cheek, removed his hands from under your shirt and pulled it down.

No words formed from your lips, so you were grateful when Bucky grabbed the throw blanket from the couch’s arm and covered your body half with it. He snuggled you against his chest, arms wrapped around your waist. Steve stood up and leaned forward to kiss you on the forehead, proclaiming he was thirsty. He disappeared into the kitchen and you smiled, body relaxed against Buck’s.

You glanced down at the coffee table and noticed that in his rush to get to you, Steve had broken the leg. “We’re going to need a new coffee table.”

Bucky chuckled. “Probably.”

Sliding off him, you laughed too and apologized for letting the social media comments get to you. “I’m the Avengers PR person, I should know better. I guess we’re all just human, mostly, anyway.”

He looked at you and smiled. “Mostly.”

“Who needs water?”

Steve walked into the living room with two glasses of water, he handed each of you one and said that the takeout was still warm, noting that he was hungry. You downed the water and asked him to pass over your discarded sweats. Putting them on, you cleared your throat and looked to both men.

“I just want to say that I’m going to really try to not let those comments bother me, it’s dumb and they don’t know our lives. You guys are right, and that’s probably the first time you’ve ever heard that in your life.”

They both laughed and you smiled, feeling better. “I just…I love you two very much and I don’t want my own negative thoughts get in the way nor do I want outside influences to mess up what we have. Agreed?”

Steve looked over to Bucky, who nodded. “Agreed.”

You clap your hands together and sighed in relief, announcing you were ready to eat. The two friends watched as you walked away from them, their eyes on you until you left the room. Bucky stretched against the couch and got up, patting Steve on the back.

“How the hell did we get this lucky, punk?”

Pure luck, that was the only answer Steve could come up with. At least, that was what he felt every time he walked into a room and saw you, and he was sure Bucky felt the same. Smiling, mostly to himself, Steve shrugged. “It beats me.”

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#steve x reader x bucky #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve x reader #bucky x reader #marvel imagine #marvel

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