politicalmamaduck
You are not alone.
Alexandra (she/her/hers); See also @incorrectreyloquotes, @padmedefencesquad, @reylofanfictionanthology, and @reyloinspo. Same username on AO3, Dreamwidth, and 8tracks. "HOT MESS TRASH FANDOM GRANDMA IS A GREAT ROLE MODEL" --@bruceclarkd "Fandom grandma aka fandom echidna" --@solikerez
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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
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blows my mind that i have little online friends who mildly care about me. it’s really nice
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Yesterday was Sant Jordi day, here where I live (Barcelona), a festive day full of books & roses. Here a pic of the legend. Enjoy!
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"I need my golden crown of sorrow. My bloody sword to swing. My empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology. I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king."
L-R: Alicent, Rhaenyra, Rhaena, Rhaenys, Baela, Laena
commissioned by the lovely @raybyanothername 👑❤️🔥
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I refuse to reblog callout posts because I'm a prison abolitionist
#about me#ask me about my opinions on rehabilitative/restorative/reparative justice sometime!#callout culture#language tw#duckie queue
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Naerys Targaryen (The Sad Queen)
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rb to give a flower to the person you rb this from
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The Widow
based on the Anders Zorn painting
bare face bc she's pretty...
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in a daydream, in a nightmare
A Reylo playlist and moodboard for @the-reylo-void <3
Listen to it on 8tracks here and Spotify here (8tracks preferred, as Spotify does not have the correct songs.)
Fleurs du Mal by Sarah Brightman
Devil’s Backbone by The Civil Wars
Shadows by Sabrina Carpenter
Lacrymosa by Evanescence
Deep Within by Within Temptation
The One That Got Away by The Civil Wars
Taking Over Me by Evanescence
Bedroom Hymns by Florence and the Machine
Silhouettes by Of Monsters and Men
The Truth Beneath the Rose by Within Temptation
Not Afraid Anymore by Halsey
Ghost Love Score by Nightwish
Cuor Senza Sangue by Emma Shapplin
Paradise (What About Us?) by Tarja and Within Temptation
So Long Ago, So Clear by Sarah Brightman
Alpenglow by Nightwish
#not to be conceited but I just listened to this playlist again and it slaps#if i were making it now i'd move some of the songs around#but i was cooking when i made this#my playlists#reylo#self reblog#duckie queue
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. 𝓟𝓪𝓾𝓵 𝓜𝓾𝓪𝓭'𝓭𝓲𝓫 𝓐𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 ⋆ 𝓓𝓾𝓴𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓐𝓻𝓻𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓼
...painting illustration study of my favorite feral goth space desert rat Paul Atreides
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Do you ever look at a post and think, "I feel so badly for OP and their notes"?
#people really do love to argue about the strangest things#tumblr culture#also#about me#because having a post go viral on this site is exhausting
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TEUTA MATOSHI Couture 2024
if you want to support this blog consider donating to: ko-fi.com/fashionrunways
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Jaina, Anakin and Jacen took care of baby brother Ben
Dear Anonymous,
Yes! You should check out this fic my dear friend @lariren-shadow wrote for the 4 Solo children AU. :D
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what you think of eu legends fans hate sequel and reylo
Dear Anonymous,
I am an EU/Legends fan myself (I grew up with those books), so I definitely understand the sadness in knowing we'll never see certain characters or storylines on screen (RIP, Mara Jade, my queen.)
According to my personal beliefs/values/moral code, I don't believe in hating anything or judging others.
I also think the Star Wars canon at this point can be a Choose Your Own Adventure, or visualized as a big umbrella/tent over a lot of different storylines and fandoms. I have no interest in reading the new High Republic books, for example. But I'm happy for the folks in that corner enjoying them!
Basically, I'm happy as long as others are happy and aren't spreading hatred or negativity. Nor will I ever be a person who spreads those feelings.
May the Force be with you, Anon!
#anonymous asks#answered asks#goodness I haven't thought about star wars since ahsoka#i'm not wasting my emotional energy on fandom anymore
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