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qqueenofhades · 2 years

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i do genuinely hesitate to ask, as i am sure i will find out more than i meant to in time, but atm my various feeds and an uninformed google are not telling me what most recently exploded about the british government, so if you have the time and the inclination i'm agog for your summary/take

HOO BOY. It has been a Things Exploding In the British Government day to the extent that in the hour-odd between my previous post and this one, I had to go back and check if anything ELSE had exploded while I wasn't looking. Everything that they are currently denying will probably be confirmed within the next 12 hours or less, though, so nobody get too comfortable.

Anyway, we all remember how Liz Truss succeeded Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, met the Queen, the Queen immediately fucking croaked which honestly was the funniest time she could possibly have done it, the country ground to a total halt for ten days, and then when it got going again, Truss and her chancellor (aka finance minister, for those of you happily ignorant of British politics), Kwasi Kwarteng, proposed a Thatcherite wet-dream economic plan of unfunded massive tax cuts for rich people, because something something Stimulate Growth. We are also generally aware that this crashed the pound through the floor, blew up people's mortgages and other mildly important bills, and did nothing to deal with the actual energy bills/cost of living crisis currently engulfing the UK. Oops.

After absolutely everybody, including the commie socialists at the Bank of England, screamed OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING???, and the day after Kwarteng insisted he would absolutely remain in post and he had 100% confidence in the Plan, he... got sacked for creating this, the Plan that Truss had asked him to deliver and which had won her the Tory party members' election. This made him officially the second-shortest serving chancellor in UK history aside from the guy who literally died in office. Womp womp. That will be a pub quiz answer for you. You're welcome.

Having spent all this time hiding from the press, then giving eight-minute press conferences during which you could literally track the pound crashing in real time, and performing more U-turns than a dancing dashboard hood ornament, Liz Truss took a break from her busy schedule of conducting the Economic Disaster Waltz in the key of B Fucked to appoint Jeremy Hunt as the new chancellor. Jeremy Hunt is mostly notable for being a Tory who can put his pants on without assistance and being a genteel failure at all the previous cabinet posts he's held, which is why he is now regarded as a "safe pair of hands" in a party that has dissolved into a lot of shit-flinging coked-up gibbons who can only scream BREXIT BREXIT BREXIT and IMMIGRATION IS BAD!!! (Side note: they recently had to cancel a festival designed to "celebrate the freedoms of Brexit" due to logistics issues associated with, you guessed it, Brexit. That is not directly relevant to the current clusterfuck, but it is too funny not to include.)

To nobody's surprise, Jeremy Hunt then ripped up the entire economic plan and offered a new one, which was not measurably better than the last one but at least reversed some of the most egregious cuts, and which made everyone ask if Liz Truss had been tied up and duct-taped in the boot of a Range Rover and/or if Hunt had secretly staged a coup with the help of Larry the Downing Street Cat and taken over the government. Probably nobody in the Tory party would mind very much if he had, because they were all busy either planning how to oust Truss or publicly denying that they were indeed planning to oust Truss. One of the popular names for her successor? Boris Johnson! No, I am not making this up. Maybe this has all been a horrible dream and we're going to wake up and find that BoZo is back in charge, after massive public scandal for being a serial liar, which he had been from Day 1, finally made him resign. I repeat, what even the hell is going on here. Nobody knows. Meanwhile, Hunt is warning about even more budget austerity and "eye-watering" cuts to public services that can least afford it, because the last decade didn't result in quite enough preventable deaths for the Tories' tastes, and because they have been forced into this by a car crash completely of their own making.

....anyway. This brings us, more or less, to today. Yesterday, Truss refused to commit to protecting something called the pensions triple lock, which guarantees that old-age pensions (the UK form of social security) will rise in line with inflation, costs, or earnings. A) Inflation in the UK is now at a whopping 10.1%, and B) given as old people are literally the only demographic still willing to vote for the Tories, this miiiiiight seem like an even more unnecessarily stupid and self-sabotaging idea. Sure enough, U-Turn Number Eight Million was duly performed this morning, and Truss insisted she had always intended for the triple lock to be protected. But would Universal Credit and other welfare/benefits programs also be adjusted upward for inflation? HELL NAH! THOSE ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE! GROSS!

This, however, was only the beginning of the unpeeling of the latest idiot banana. Keir Starmer, riding high on the back of recent polls that have given Labour a 36-point lead and predicted that the Tories could be left with as few as 22 seats in Parliament if a general election was called tomorrow (leaving the SNP as the official opposition), appeared at Prime Minister's Questions and got to shoot fish in a barrel. Truss did not dissolve into a pile of goo on the floor and/or have a bucket of water thrown on her and melt into Margaret Thatcher, so that was taken as a win. Well, at least for two hours or so. Then Suella Braverman, the ex-Attorney General who had briefly run for the leadership when BoZo resigned, and who exists along with Priti Patel in order to prove that in the modern Tory party, women of color can heroically be just as much as awful xenophobic monsters as crusty old white dudes, resigned as Home Secretary. Did you even know she was Home Secretary? Neither did she. She took over Patel's job in a bid to apparently make Patel look cute and cuddly by comparison, as she is even more determined to do horrible things to migrants as much as possible. The official reason given for her resignation was that she sent an official document from her personal email account, and this had something to do with immigration and/or the Office of Budget Responsibility forecast that the Tories have, in the valiant spirit of freedom, resisted actually publishing for any of their current economic plans. CONSERVATIVES ARE GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY!! yell people on both sides of the Atlantic. Oh-kay.

Anyway, Braverman used her resignation letter to blast Truss for pretending that everything was fine and dandy, which means the BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS was absolutely just an excuse and even she wanted off this sinking ship as fast as possible. Grant Shapps is now the Home Secretary. It's not important. The point is, if more ministers start resigning, the government will probably implode just as it did when they deserted BoZo en masse. What the hell happens then? Fuck if anyone knows. Since they will, as noted, get absolutely cosmically annihilated if they call a General Election, the Tories will resist doing that with all their might (the next one isn't due until 2024, which is about 1004329 years away at the current rate that time is passing here). Truss was already elected by a tiny minority of the country (about 160,000 Tory party members). STICK RISHI SUNAK IN THERE AND CHANGE THE RULES AGAIN?? HECK, SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! KEEP THOSE MUSICAL CHAIRS COMING, CHAPS!

(Also: we will recall the Daily Star's Lettuce Cam, where a picture of Liz Truss has been placed next to a head of lettuce to see if she is kicked out of office before it rots away. It now has a special companion, Tofu. This is because Braverman, just yesterday, gave a speech attacking the latest round of climate protesters as being spurred on by Labour, the Lib Dems, and the "Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati," which she doubtless thought was a very clever line at the time. Because British Twitter is British Twitter, the Tofu: 1, Braverman: 0 jokes have been rife.)

And since we are still not done: tonight, Labour forced a vote on a fracking ban which was being treated as a de facto confidence vote in the government. Aka if the Tories voted for it, they would be considered to be defying the government. Because Britain is a cartoon country run by clowns, the method of Parliamentary voting literally involves walking through Door A for Aye and Door B for Nay. The "whips," or the people whose job it is to assure that party members vote according to the government's position, have thus been known to physically stuff recalcitrant MPs through these doors, because Hail Britannia, or something. So we soon had reports that the anti-fracking vote was, dare I say it, a total clusterfrack, and the Tory whips were literally throwing crying Tory MPs through the Nay door so they would Vote To Support The Government. This sounds like a beginning to a Monty Python sketch, but it is just another ordinary evening in British politics in 2022! (Did Truss herself vote? Or BoZo, Patel, or any of the other Tory big beasts? Nope. Evidently she was "too distracted" with all the other crises going on, which probably means she just didn't want to show her face or she might get killed. Hard to blame her.)

So: the fracking ban was defeated, Labour MPs were like "oh my god the sheer clownery," even Tory MPs were spitting mad, we soon had more rumors that both the Tory chief whip and the deputy chief whip had resigned (currently in the Official Denial stage, so yeah, that will be confirmed before tomorrow morning), and I haven't even mentioned the part where one of Liz Truss's press aides admitted that they used to lie about various relatives of hers having just died so Truss didn't have to do interviews (actual quote: "just aunts and cousins, not any major relatives!"). We all wondered if that wasn't actually a lie but the minor members of the Truss family had voluntarily decided to die rather than have anyone know that they were related to her. Either that or she just sent MI6 after them. It's entirely possible.

#rionsanura #ask #politics for ts #uk politics #i truly cannot explain the magnitude of this clown show #truly #long post

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lazyflower48 · 2 months

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Dazai and Ranpo: The Two Geniuses of the ADA

The thought about making a post about Dazai and Ranpo's teamwork has been plaguing my mind for a while now, and so I finally found some time and decided to go through with it.

So let's talk about one of my favourite underrated duos for a moment. The two geniuses of the ADA- Dazai and Ranpo. Two people who make a wonderful team and are actually, in my opinion, the backbone of the agency.

What I find interesting is that (though I believe that Dazai respects and admires all members of the ADA) Dazai openly admires Ranpo A LOT. He's always quick to praise Ranpo (basically fanboying over him and it's quite adorable to see Dazai gush over someone like that other than Oda) and in 'Dazai's Entrance Exam' we see him being surprised over the fact that Ranpo's ability is not actually an ability and we see him further praise Ranpo's intellect after finding that out.

Despite the fact that Dazai is a huge mystery, even to the people around him, Ranpo figured out that there was something up with Dazai in just a single glance (in 'Dazai's entrance exam'). And despite knowing that Dazai was probably hiding a sinister past, he didn't press him any further for details (probably in order to respect his privacy or his wish to not disclose his past OR maybe due to the the fact that knowing Dazai, he most likely wouldn't answer truthfully even if questioned about it)

What I also love is that even though both of them are extremely intelligent, their intellect differs in such a way that Ranpo is a master of deduction and Dazai is a master of manipulation (as stated by Kunikida in 'The Daily Routine of the Detective Agency'). However, one thing both of them share in common is that they both felt isolated due to their nature.

They may have limited interactions but their interactions are always my favourite, for instance-

1. Dazai's entrance exam - Dazai's admiration and respect towards Ranpo

2. Season 1 - Murder on D-Street - Dazai showing a good understanding of Ranpo's deduction process and acknowledging that Ranpo caught onto more details than him

3. Season 2 - "Mountains or sea?" " Sea. "

Showing their unspoken communication. They can read each other's minds at this point lol.

4. Season 3 - Ranpo basically acknowledging that Dazai would be a tough opponent to go up against by comparing Fyodor to him (sort of praising his intellect in a way)

5. Season 5 - The Strongest Man in the Agency- Ranpo

Dazai keeping an eye on Fyodor while leaving the rest to Ranpo

Dazai relying on his allies- trusting Ranpo to negotiate with Bram in order to undo the vampire curse.

6. Dead Apple - Ranpo seeing through Dazai's plan beforehand.

7. 55 minutes - Seeing through upcoming events beforehand, one thing Dazai made sure was to inform Ranpo about the whole fiasco on Standard Island in order to save the Agency in the end.

Also, sidenote: I found out that the Dazai and Ranpo duo is named Souheki, which translates to double jade. Now, I'm not sure if this information is fanon or canon (feels more like fanon tbh but I really like it because it's a pretty name)

Anyway, one thing we can say for sure is that as long as the two geniuses of the Agency- Souheki work together, the ADA will most likely remain undefeated cause no one really does it like them

Lastly, just some food for thought. I've always wondered how Dazai would react if he found out that Ranpo met Oda TWICE and the second time he met him was right before Oda went on to his certain death.

Honestly, I would LOVE to see more fleshed out and direct interactions between these two.

#i wish tumblr allowed more than 10 photos in a post cause I wanted to add so many more #cant believe this has been sitting in draft for like 6 months now #the two geniuses of the ADA>>>#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd meta #bsd analysis #bsd dazai #bsd ranpo #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #ranpo edogawa #souheki #bsd ramblings #bsd s5

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indigogvf · 5 months

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Need

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: mentions of SA!!! smut (minors dni), alcohol. If I missed anything please let me know!

Summary: You and Jake have never seen eye to eye, but when a guy creeps you out at his house party, does that change?

A/N: awful summary lol sorry I’m so tired and have been wanting to post this for ages. This is not as good as I wanted it to be, or as long, but I do not have the patience for that. For some reason the ideas were just not flowing for this fic, so I feel like it’s kinda jumpy. Sorry about that!! Also, my requests are open!! Anyway, enough of me yapping. Enjoy!!

This was not your thing; parties. It’s not that you hated them, but a nine pm bed time meant a lot more to you. Drinking made you sleepy. However, parties are especially not your thing when Jake is there. Even more so when they’re hosted at his house.

Much like tonight.

You can’t deny Josh’s puppy dog eyes for very long though, and you weren’t going to let one person ruin your night. He’s hosting the party anyway, so he has much more important things to worry about than trying to piss you off. You thought.

You thought wrong. As always.

The night begun smoothly. You felt confident and sexy, your dress hugging you in all the right places. You weren’t planning on getting into anyones pants tonight, but it felt nice to know you could. With that being said, you also felt nervous. You and Jake couldn’t get along at all; you can be civil when needs be, but it never lasts long. If you can’t get along sober, you doubt adding copious amounts of alcohol is going to have a positive impact.

You made your rounds of everyone, making sure to say hi to the people you knew; also making sure to keep well away from Jake. You and Jake have been holding the battle of “who can be the meanest” for quite some time now, and you honestly can’t even remember how it started, but you strongly disliked him. You’re both extremely stubborn, so as much as you feel bad for feuding with your best friends’ brother, you wouldn’t be caught dead making amends. And neither would he.

Obviously your first point of call after saying hello was getting yourself a nice, strong drink. A necessity, in your opinion. Definitely a necessity when jake’s around. You’d already lost Josh, who you came with, and you were now left to fend for yourself. You did know a good amount of people, but everyone knew everyone else more than you knew them, so you weren’t really sure where to start.

You wondered back to the main event, scouring the room for someone you know well enough to join their conversation. As you were looking around, you caught the eyes of Jake. His shirt was buttoned up by two buttons, max. You couldn’t quite see due to the darkness of the room. Speaking of, he’s wearing sunglasses. What a douchebag you thought. I mean, seriously? Sunglasses? In an almost pitch black room?

His hair was falling nicely, though. The sunglasses were giving his hair something to flow against, and it was framing his face well. It doesn’t matter how much you hate him, you will always be jealous of his hair.

He smirks at you, mischief written all over his face. You roll your eyes and move on. You promised Josh you wouldn’t argue with Jake tonight, and you really did feel bad. You know how hard it is for them to navigate this.

However, Jake had other intentions. He started walking over; you knew you were well within your rights to walk away, but you also knew that this would happen at some point, so you might as well get it over and done with.

“You look cute.” He mentioned sarcastically, gesturing to your dress.

“Thanks. Wish I could say the same about you.” You retorted with an eye roll, taking a step away from him. You wanted as much distance between you as possible.

“Oh, c’mon. You and I both know you like what you see.” He suggested with a cocky smirk, pointing at himself. He took a step closer, closing the space between you that you had just made.

“Seriously? You have that big of an ego? Take a look at yourself for once. You’re wearing sunglasses in a dimly lit room. Could you look like more of a dick?” You replied, taking a sip of your drink. You knew he enjoyed this a lot more than you did; you were easier to piss off.

“Look at myself? Look at you! You look like you’re begging to take someone home in that dress.” He laughed, throwing his head back. ‘Always so dramatic’ you thought.

“Yeah? Well at least I could take someone home if I wanted to, which I don’t, for the record. You can’t, not when you look like as much of an uptight prick as you.” You argued. You felt like steam was coming out of your ears. He always had to dig deep. Every time.

He began responding, but you had already started walking away. Like you said, you’d promised Josh you wouldn’t argue with him tonight, so you really didn’t want it to go any further.

You spot danny and Sam and take this opportunity to distract yourself. “hey guys, you having fun?” You asked as you waved at them.

“Hey y/n, did Josh ditch you? Already?” Sam queried, turning to face you. Danny sniggered beside him in response.

“Well, yeah. But I promise that’s not why I came to chat.” You knew that whatever Sam was suggesting was just a joke, but you also knew that if Josh hadn’t of ditched you, the overwhelming joy you felt when you saw them probably wouldn’t have been as intense.

“Yeah, whatever. How’s things with Jake? I see you’ve continued your feud.” Danny joined, subtly looking over to Sam. They know exactly how to wind you up. You will never understand how they find the humour in this situation; if it was the other way round, you would’ve grown impatient a long time ago.

“Yeah, but that’s done for the night. I’m really not in the mood for it to carry on tonight.” You said as you grabbed your drink to take another sip, taking a seat next to danny.

“Are you ever in the mood for jake, though? You say that every time, and every time the feud continues.” Sam giggled.

“You know, he’s right. How did this ‘feud’ even start? I can’t quite remember.” Danny said. Him and Sam were now laughing a little too hard considering how unfunny their comments were. At least you didn’t find them funny.

“You know what guys, maybe I will carry it on. Just for you.” You remarked, pointing your finger at both of them to further emphasis your point.

“Oh, we would love to see that.” Laughed Danny, turning to face you completely.

“Maybe you should just fuck it out. I mean, if all of our mutual friends can agree on that, maybe we’re right.” Sam added, without laughing. He was serious. He seriously suggested you ‘fuck it out’. With his brother.

“You guys suck. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab another drink.” You began walking away as they laughed; obviously happy with themselves for managing to wind you up.

You made your way into the kitchen, your eyes landing on a guy stood in the corner. You smiled politely as you walked past him to make your next drink. “You on your own?” He asked. Are. You. Serious. You thought. You were not in the mood for this.

“Uh, no. My friends are just in the living room, where everyone else is.” You said bluntly. You hoped that gave him the hint that you were definitely not interested.

Obviously, it didn’t.

“Your ass looks beautiful in that dress.” He said boldly as he took a step closer, looking you up and down.

“Thanks, but I’m not looking for any of that tonight.” You smiled in an attempt to soften the blow, whilst taking a step back.

“C’mon, you can’t wear a dress like that and not want some attention.” He laughed, reaching his hand out to brush your arm. You quickly retracted.

You were starting to panic slightly as it was clear he wasn’t getting the hint. “I’m okay, really.” You reiterated, taking another step back. You were now against the counter, awaiting his next move.

As he started to take a step towards you, Jake walked into the kitchen, pausing as he witnesses the guy come closer to you; again trying to reach out and touch your arm. He flicks his eyes to you, and you look at him with pleading eyes. You really hope he can see what you’re trying to tell him.

“Hey, what are you doing, man?” Jake asked, flicking his eyes between you as he walked further into the kitchen.

“That’s none of your business, man.” He mocks, drawing his attention back to you.

“It is when it’s my house. Did she tell you she was interested in you before you cornered her?” He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He folded his arms and leaned on the counter, raising his eyebrows as he impatiently waited for his response.

“Well, I- no, but-“

“Enough said. Get off of her and get out of my house.” He spoke with a steady tone, pushing himself off of the counter and moving out of the way, further prompting the guy to leave.

You breathed out, not even realising you were holding your breath. “Thank you so much.” You sighed, running your hands over your face as you tried to ground yourself.

“Yeah, are you okay? Did anything else happen?” He asked with panic laced in his voice. He walked over to you and moved his eyes over you to check that you were okay.

You looked up at him. His eyes were laced with concern and worry; they looked softer, It was different. He always looked at you with such annoyance, but you liked this. “I’m okay. Thank you, Jake.” You replied. You really were okay, but unwanted men coming onto you will never get less daunting.

“I’m sorry that happened. If you need anything, you let me know. My bedroom is upstairs to the right if you need some quiet.” He said softly as he ran his hand through his hair, letting it fall back into place.

You were taken back, to say the least. You and Jake were never nice to each other unless absolutely necessary, but even then you were still throwing dirty looks around like there was no tomorrow. It was a moment of clarity. You would see Jake acting somewhat similarly to others; always so kind and caring. But never towards you. You wondered what it would be like to not dislike him so much, and to actually get along with him. Although this only gave you a small taste of that, you liked this a lot more than hating him. You still hated him though. You’re way too stubborn to admit that you might like him, even to yourself.

“Thanks. I’m okay, I promise. I always get shaken up when this type of stuff happens. I just need another drink.” You laughed a little, trying to soften the mood slightly. You picked up your cup and started to fiddle with it. You felt too awkward just standing there.

“Yeah, sure. Help yourself. Do you want me to stay with you and then help you find josh? So you’re not on your own again?” He suggested as he walked past you to get a drink out of the fridge.

What the fuck? You thought. You knew Jake could be nice, but you never expected him to be this caring. Not in a million years.

“Uh, yeah, actually. Would that be okay? I don’t want to steal you from your own party.” You mumbled, starting to pour a concoction of various kinds of alcohol into your cup.

“Of course. I know where he is, so it shouldn’t take long.” He reassured you with a soft smile, brushing past you to find a bottle opener for his drink.

You grabbed your drink and went with Jake to find Josh. Once you found him, you said your thank you’s to Jake and walked over to Josh.

“Was that Jake? Were you just with Jake? Did you just smile at Jake?” He asked, an excited grin on his face. He got up from his seat, eager to find out if your battle with Jake has finally ended or not.

“Yes, yes, and yes. Some guy was being a massive creep and Jake saw and kicked him out. He was really sweet, actually. It was weird.” You said, taking a sip of your drink whilst stealing Josh’s seat.

“Does this mean you both like each other?” He said, completely disregarding the small mention of the creepy guy; you didn’t blame him, though. This was exciting for him. His smile widened as he got more eager by the second.

“No. I still hate him.” You said firmly. You were not admitted the fact that you maybe, slightly like Jake. Not happening.

“Ugh, c’mon, y/n. You know he can be nice, you’ve seen it yourself. He’s even been nice to you now. Without any prompting.” He pleaded as he sat on the edge of the table opposite you.

You leaned back against the sofa and sighed. You looked at Josh’s face and you could see he was desperate for this to finally be over. “Okay, fine. I don’t like Jake. However, I’m not as inclined to gauge his eyes out when I look at him anymore. Happy?” You reasoned.

He shook his head and smiled. “Fine. This is a starting point, then.”

“Sure. You can call it that if you’d like.” You giggled. It was clear he was a little frustrated, all he wanted was his best friend and brother to get along, but it was fun to wind him up sometimes.

As the night went on, people slowly startled to filter out the party, only leaving a few people. You were thinking about jake, and how he helped you. You wanted to repay him, so you took yourself to the kitchen and began clearing up some of the used cups. You figured he would appreciate this, since no one likes cleaning up the morning after whilst morbidly hungover.

You were nearly done when Jake walked in. He paused in the doorway, “What are you doing?” He asked, not moving.

“Oh, hi. I’m just cleaning up a little bit. Thought it might help you out tomorrow when you’re hungover.” You stated, smiling at him and continuing to throw away all the trash laying around.

“You don’t have to do that.” He began to walk over and attempted to take the bag from your hands. You pulled your hands away.

“You didn’t have to help me earlier.” You looked up at him and sent him a reassuring smile. You really wanted to help out.

“How are you doing after earlier?” He asked, ignoring your previous statement.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just glad you helped.” You replied, setting the bag down on the floor when there was no more trash left on the counters.

“How are you getting home?” He wondered, picking up the trash bag and moving it to the doorway so he could take it out later.

“Oh, I was just going to get a taxi.” You said as you fiddled with your rings, again feeling awkward with this new tone of conversation between you.

He shook his head, “No, you can stay here.”

“Why do you care how I get home?” You retort. It came out slightly harsher than you expected, and he took a step back.

“Why do i care?” He repeated. “Look, we might not see eye to eye, but what happened to you tonight wasn’t okay. He might not have done anything, but who knows what might’ve happened if i didn’t show up at the right time. I know you know that, and I also know that you’re going to have overwhelming anxiety about getting into a taxi, by yourself, at night. I’m not willing to let you do that whilst you’re also drunk and vulnerable. What kind of person would that make me if I didn’t care?” He said, raising his voice. He began to walk away from you, making his way out of the kitchen.

You rushed over to him, grabbing his hand to pull him back into the kitchen, “Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, I guess I’m just used to keeping my guard up around you.” You apologised, looking up at him. You realised you were still holding his hand, so you hesitatingly let go. You’d never really been this close to him, and you weren’t complaining. You studied his features, moving your eyes around his face.

“I know, me too. I’m sorry for shouting, it’s just annoying because I was being nice, and you sort of threw it back in my face.” He said as he did the same to you; studying your features.

You wondered what it would be like to kiss him, or what his calloused hands would feel like against your bare skin, or how he would feel insid- stop. You still hate him. You thought.

He wondered the same about you. He wondered how soft your lips would feel; how you would taste. He was willing to find out. In a moment of boldness, he began to move closer to your lips. He was getting closer, closer, clo-

“Hey guys- wait a minute. Did I just interrupt something?” Josh said as he walked into the kitchen, a smirk beginning to spread on his lips.

You both moved away from each other, not wanting to let on that you were making up with each other; or whatever you were doing. You weren’t really sure what just happened.

“No.” You both spoke at the same time.

“I was just clearing up, and then Jake came in. That’s all. What were you going to say?” You stuttered. You fiddled with your rings again, looking down at your hands.

“Oh. Well, I’m going to bed. I’m staying here tonight by the way, Jake.” He turned around and made his way out of the kitchen and upstairs to the spare room.

You giggled at Josh as you turned round to face jake again. “So, am I staying here, too?” You asked. You felt bad asking, but he was pretty clear on his opinions about you getting a taxi.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want.” He responded. He reached his hand to the back of his neck, playing with his hair. He obviously felt nervous. Or awkward. Probably awkward, you assumed.

“Yeah, thanks. Can I take a shower?” You asked. You felt gross, you always did after drinking. You noticed his eyes move over you, sparking a warm feeling in your belly. You tried to push the feeling away, not prepared or ready to feel this way about him on such short notice.

“Yeah. The bathroom is upstairs, opposite the top of the stairs. The towels are in the cupboard next to it.” He replied whilst pointing upstairs. Neither of you moved, you just started at each other. You were both equally as confused at what happened before Josh interrupted. Was it a moment? Was it not a moment? Who knows.

After a few seconds of painfully awkward silence and staring, you left to go upstairs and take a shower. You found the towels in the cupboard that Jake mentioned, and turned the shower on. You adjusted the temperature so that it was a little warmer, and peeled off your dress. It felt good to get it off of you; you never found tight dresses as the most comfortable option.

You tied your hair up in a bun after seeing the stingy amount of options for shampoo. You also didn’t fancy sleeping in wet hair. You stepped in and immediately relaxed at the feeling of the water hitting your back, making every effort to not get your hair wet. You took your time washing yourself, not wanting to leave the warmth of the shower. Your mind wondered to Jake. You’d always thought he was attractive, but you were never attracted to him. Probably because he was never nice to you. But after tonight, after seeing the caring side you’d only ever observed, you felt differently about him. It was hard to dislike him as much when you had been on the receiving end of his selflessness and kindness. You wondered what this meant for your relationship with him. Were you still enemies? Or were you walking into new territory with him? You weren’t sure.

Eventually, you decided to get out and began drying yourself. You wrapped the towel around you and tried to find Jake to ask where you would be sleeping, and if he had any clothes for you to wear. Both questions which should’ve been asked before you got in the shower, you realised. You found him in his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed in just his trousers. You’d never seen him shirtless, and you’d never say no to seeing it again; that’s for sure.

You knocked gently on the door despite it being open, to let him know of your presence. He looked up and raked his eyes down your figure. You felt exposed.

“Hey. I was just wondering if you had anything for me to wear, and where I was sleeping?” You asked, speaking gently to not wake Josh up.

“Uh, yeah. You can sleep in here, if that’s okay with you. I’ll find you some clothes to wear, just give me a second.” He said, getting up from his bed and making his way to the chest of drawers to find some clothes for you.

“But where will you sleep?” You asked, feeling confused as you watched him dig through his clothes.

“On the couch downstairs. Here, you can wear this top. You can wear these pyjama bottoms if you want, but they’re a little big on me, so they’ll probably be big on you, too.” He muttered as he handed the pile of clothes to you. Your hands brushed together, the small amount of contact bringing back the warm feeling in your stomach. Stop. You thought.

“No, I’ll take the couch. I can sleep anywhere, it’s okay.” You responded, moving your hand to the top of your towel to stop it from slipping.

“Honestly, just take the bed. Take it as my formal apology for the last however many years of shit.” He smirked, attempting to make a joke out of the ‘however many years’ of torture.

“Oh, we’re apologising now?” You countered, returning his smirk.

“I think it’s about time, don’t you? Anyway, it’s your turn now. I just made my apology.” He said as he moved closer to you, leaning on the doorframe.

“Not to erase all of our progress, but that was not a very good apology.” You argued. God, he looked good without a shirt. You thought.

“I think it was a great apology. I’m offering you to sleep in a nice, warm, comfortable bed.” He retorted, gesturing to the bed behind him.

You shook your head and laughed. “It didn’t even include the word “sorry”, Jake.”

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry, y/n. Better?” He said, still sporting the same smirk.

You wanted to kiss him. You’d been trying to ignore this fleeting thought since you were in the kitchen together, but it was becoming insufferable. You squeezed your legs together at the sheer thought of him touching you.

“Better.” You responded, “I’m sorry, too. Truly.” You said, setting the tone to something more serious than before. You had less of an issue apologising to him now that he had initiated it, but you were so ready for this battle to be over between you.

He stared at you, not really knowing where to go from here. He also really wanted to kiss you; he thought you looked good in only a towel, and imagined how easy it would be to remove it. He imagined how you’d look underneath it, having to stop himself from finding out. He could see the swell of your breasts under the towel and felt himself starting to get hard. He saw your eyes flick down to his lips and linger there, before moving back up to his eyes. Does she want this, too? He thought. He took this as a signal that you felt the same and leaned in, capturing your lips in a gentle, yet passionate kiss.

You were in shock. You had been wanting this, but you did not realise he wanted it, too. You leaned into the kiss, feeding your hands into his hair. You tugged it at the roots slightly, earning a little groan from Jake in response. This felt so wrong; but it made sense. You wondered if all of your friends were right; maybe it was just built up sexual tension.

His hands moved round your waist, squeezing at your skin. His tongue swiped against your bottom lip begging for entrance, which you granted. You moaned into his mouth at the feeling and grabbed his arms, pulling him impossibly closer to you. You needed him, and he needed you just as much. You felt his hard-on press against your lower stomach. You could feel yourself getting wet at the thought of him inside of you, and reached your hand down and palmed him through his trousers. He sucked in a breath and pulled away, “Stop. Are you sure you want this?” He asked with concern and desperation written all over his face, pushing you away from him slightly.

“Yes, Jake.” You whined. You didn’t mean for it to come out like that; you were aiming for a steadier, firmer tone, but you found it hard to care, It’s not like you weren’t getting a little impatient.

He leaned back in, kissing you with more passion than before. He moved his hands to the top of the towel, silently asking you to take it off. You obliged, taking your hands away from his neck and unravelled it, letting it slide down your body.

He moved his eyes over your body, groaning at the site of you. “Fuck, you look so pretty.” He muttered, pulling you back into him and kissing you again.

You moved your hands to his belt a second time, undoing the buckle and chucking it on the floor. You undid the buttons and he slid them off, stepping out of them and kicking them out of the way. You saw his growing bulge through his boxers; you wouldn’t be lying if you said your mouth started watering at the sight. You wanted to taste him.

So you did just that. You got down on your knees, using his thighs as an anchor to ensure you didn’t keel over; that would be embarrassing. He looked down at you, his jaw slack and his hair draped around his face. He took his hand and gently cupped your cheek, slowly guiding your head forward. “You want a taste, baby?” He whispered, stroking your cheek with his thumb. You nodded your head yes whilst you took your hands to the tops of his boxers, he stopped you. Again.

“Words.” He demanded, tightening his grip on your jaw.

“Yes, I wanna taste you.” You muttered, still gripping his boxers.

He nodded, giving you permission to carry on. You slid his boxers down, revealing his hard cock. There was pre cum dripping out of the head, and you swear you almost started dribbling at the sight.

You leaned forward, his hand still pressed against your face, and licked up the side. He took in a sharp breath and closed his eyes, moving his hand so that he could grip your hair.

You took the head into your mouth, sucking gently. You wanted to tease him. You moved down slowly, hollowing your cheeks ever so slightly. “Ah, fuck. Don’t tease.” He uttered. His breathing was starting to get irregular as you continued down his length.

He was getting impatient. He needed to be inside of you, and you were taking too long. He moved his hand to the back of your head, edging you forward and testing the waters. You hummed around his cock, giving him approval.

He moved your head forward, forcing you to take almost all of him into your mouth. He was huge; to say the least. You hollowed your cheeks as much as you could as he created a rhythm for you. You moved your hand from his thigh to the base of his cock, jerking him off slowly as you took the rest of him in your mouth.

He hit the back of your throat and you gagged around him. His hand faltered as he threw his head back, “Jesus, y/n.” He growled, pulling your hair harshly. You could start to feel him pulsing in your mouth, and you knew he was getting close. He was panting, at this point. His hair was sticking to his face and his jaw was slack. He looked hot, and the need you’ve been feeling for him has just increased by an obscene amount.

Almost as if he could sense your increasing desire, he pulled you off of him. “I nearly couldn’t stop myself.” He admitted sheepishly whilst he helped you off of your knees, bringing you in for another kiss. He could taste himself on your tongue; he could’ve come if he carried on, the images of you on your knees flooding his head.

“Get on the bed.” He uttered, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it onto the floor. You obliged, swaying your hips as you walked over to the bed.

He joined you on the bed and pushed your legs further apart, “Now it’s my turn to taste you. You want me to taste how sweet you are, honey?” He whispered as he placed soft kisses around your dripping cunt.

You moaned at the sheer thought of his mouth on you, “Yes, please.” You whined, moving your legs further apart as a way to prompt him.

He liked a stripe down you, causing your hips to buck into his mouth at the sudden sensation. You grabbed his hair in your hands, tugging slightly. “Eager, are we? I’ve barely even touched you.” He taunted, smirking to himself at the thought of getting you so worked up.

Your cheeks turned a crimson colour from embarrassment. “Please, do something. I need you.” You pleaded. It was getting too much now; you just needed something, badly.

“Be patient.” He muttered into you, pressing his mouth against you again. He circled your clit with his tongue, and with no warning, pushed his fingers into you; setting a relentless pace. The noise you made was inhuman, and as a reminder of the sleeping beauty next door, Jake smacked his hand on your thigh. Your hand flew to your mouth in an attempt to hide the noises coming from you.

The rate at which he was pumping his calloused fingers was sending you to the edge at an embarrassing pace; he could feel you squeezing his fingers, “You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” He asked, somehow pumping his fingers even faster than before.

He sucked on your clit, and you couldn’t take it anymore. You were trying to speak, but you were sure your words were incoherent. Your orgasm was imminent; you were bucking your hips, desperate to come. His fingers hit a particular spot within you, and a wave of pleasure crashed into you full force. You were chanting his name like a mantra, though you were sure it made no sense. He took his fingers out of you and began lapping you up, striving to collect every little bit of your orgasm on his tongue. “So sweet.” He groaned.

You tried to push his head away; but he was stronger than you and carried on. “Can you give me another one? I know you can, sweet girl.” He prompted, pushing his fingers back inside of you and, yet again, setting a relentless pace.

“I need you, Jake.” You begged, still trying to pry his head away from yourself. You threw your head back into the pillows as the slight pain of overstimulated faded, being replaced with pleasure. “God, Jake.” You moaned.

“You gonna come around my fingers again, hm?” He taunted, placing his mouth back on your clit straight away.

“Fuck! Yes, yes, yes.” You whimpered, feeling your second orgasm approach quicker by the second.

“See? I knew you could do it for me.” He remarked, “C’mon, sweet girl. You can do it. Just one more and then you can have my cock, yeah?”

His words of encouragement egged you on, and you pulled at his hair in an attempt to bring him even closer. He groaned into you; the vibrations sending you over the edge. You threw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut. You were beginning to wonder why you hadn’t listened to your friends because you did not want to wait any longer for him, and you were already half way there.

He pulled his head away, and slowed down the pace of his fingers, slowly working you through your high. He climbed on top of you, and the cold metal of his necklaces touching your chest sent a chill down your body.

You leaned in, starting a heated kiss with him. You couldn’t get enough of him; eager to feel him inside of you. He moved down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking harshly. You arched your back into him, “Please, Jake. Please, I need you so badly.” You cried, wrapping your legs around his waist.

You moved your hand down to his cock and stroked him softly, “you want my cock, baby?” He uttered, trying to conceal the groan he let out from such a delicate touch.

“I can’t take it any longer, I need you, Jake.” You demanded, quickening your pace on his hard cock. He could’ve come right there and then; the combination of your touch and your shameless begging making it hard to control himself. It was painful, and he wondered how he didn’t just fuck you up against the wall the second you removed the towel.

He removed your hand, replacing them with his own, giving himself a few languid strokes before guiding it to your entrance. “You sure about this?” He asked, his tone switching from demanding to concerned.

“Jake, if you don’t fuck me right now, I might go insane.” You stated, looking up at him with pure desperation. You genuinely thought you were going to combust with how impatient you were getting.

He needed no further confirmation, and thrusted into you. You yelped at the feeling of him; the burning sensation from his cock stretching you out catching you off guard.

“Shit, y/n. You feel so good. So ready for me.” He panted, setting an unforgiving pace. His thrusts were deep, and reached all the right places.

You wrapped your arm around his back and dug your nails into him, needing something to grip onto. He groaned at the feeling, gripping the sheets beneath him. You could feel yourself getting closer already, and so could he, “Are you close? I can feel you- fuck, I can feel you squeezing me.” He groaned into your neck, “I wont last much longer if you keep doing that.” He moaned as he started to suck on your neck, leaving reminders of tonight for tomorrow.

You tried to respond, but the immense pleasure you were feeling caused your mind to go blank. You were trying to hold your orgasm off; not wanting this to end, but to no avail, your third orgasm came crashing down. You dragged your hands down jakes back, most definitely leaving scratches for him to discover tomorrow. He fucked you through your high; not faltering once, whilst whispering sweet words of encouragement into your ear, “you’re doing so good for me, baby.”

You came down from your high, feeling utterly fucked out. “Can you do one more for me? I know you can- fuck, just one more, please?” He said, his steady facade slipping in an instant.

“Jake, I can’t. It hurts.” You pleaded. On one hand, you never wanted this to end. But on the other hand, you were exhausted and the overstimulation hurt.

He moved his hand down to your clit, circling his fingers around it quickly. “You said that last time, and you did. Stop being pathetic.” He growled, leaning his head into your chest to start sucking on your nipple.

Pain turned into pleasure; as usual, and your fourth orgasm was fast approaching. “You can do it, please do it.” He begged, his hips faltering as he tried to hold off his orgasm. “I need to feel you come around my cock.” He pleaded, quickening his fingers which were circling your sensitive clit.

He toyed with your clit faster, silently pleading with you to hurry up.

It worked.

Although not as intense as the last three, you were still sure you were sent to some other dimension as your fourth orgasm hit you. You could feel jakes hips faltering as he fucked you through your orgasm, whilst also keenly chasing his own.

“Fuck! I’m gonna come, y/n. Where do you want it?” He asked, his face screwed up and seconds away from coming.

“Inside! Please, I wanna feel you fill me up.” You urged as he tucked his head into the crook of your neck.

His hips stopped, and he let out a guttural moan that you wish you could play on repeat. You pulled his head away from your neck, trying to see his face as his come filled you up. His hair was stuck to his face with sweat, and his cheeks were a crimson red.

He collapsed on top of you, his heavy breaths heating you up even more. You brushed his hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ears, wanting to see his fucked out face.

He rolled off of you and got up to the bathroom, leaving you on your own to reflect on what just happened. When he came back, he had a wash cloth and kneeled beside you to clean you up. “You okay?” He questioned gently, stroking the outside of your thigh.

“Yeah. Just tired, is all.” You replied, smiling at him. He thought you looked cute; sprawled out on his bed looking all fucked out and tired.

He discarded the cloth and came to lay next to you, pulling you into his chest. You wrapped your leg around his waist, and absentmindedly started to draw patterns on his bare chest.

“Thank you. For helping me earlier.” You mentioned quietly. You felt bad. Now that you had seen, first hand, just how caring he is, you felt bad for the way you had previously treated him.

“Look, y/n,” he sighed, “I’m not a bad person. I know we haven’t gotten along for some time now, but it doesn’t feel good to think that you assumed I’d ever leave someone to fend for themselves in that type of situation; or any type of bad situation. I personally think I just adequately apologised by making you come four times, but I think you’d disagree. So, I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you, and for all of the comments I’ve made towards you. I’ll be honest, I’ve seen the way you are towards others; the real you, and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that. Now I know that you’re a great person, and always have been.” He confessed, stroking your hair softly. You were overwhelmed, to say the least. You never expected to make up with Jake so fast; let alone going from hating him, to having sex with him, all in one night.

“I’m sorry, too. I know, and knew, you weren’t a bad person. If we’re sharing secrets now, I’ve wanted to make it up to you for a while, but I was too stubborn. I would agree that you adequately apologised, but hearing you say the words made it a lot better. The best apology I’ve ever received, if you will.” You giggled softly, admiring his face. He always thought you were attractive, but seeing you in this knew light made it different for him. He wasn’t just attracted to the way you looked anymore, but you as a person, too.

You wondered what this meant for both of you. You knew you at least liked each other now, but you wanted to know him. The small taste of the real Jake you had gotten tonight was simply not enough.

“What does this mean for us? Are we friends now?” He queried, a frown appearing on his face.

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you take me out to dinner and we can find out?” You countered, your heart rate increasing at your sudden boldness. He stopped stroking your hair and looked at you with a grin.

“Deal.” He agreed, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on your lips. You pulled away, nuzzling your head into his chest with a giddy smile plastered on your face.

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under-lore · 7 months

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About "Tweets aren't canon"

One misconception that one seems to be nearly guaranteed to see brought up by someone whenever discussing Undertale/Deltarune lore with people who are not particularly invested in it is that "Toby Fox said tweets weren't canon".

And, when you first hear it, it actually sounds quite convincing, because this tweet is in fact real and does seem to say that.

So... What's actually going on here with tweets and with this one in particular ?

The actual status of tweets

Before mentioning what's really going on with that specific tweet, i'd like to lay some groundwork first.

For instance, regarding the fact that this tweet dates back from November 2016. And that if the tweet were to be taken seriously, it would mean that no tweets especially after that date are to be treated as canon.

Something that is rather explicitely not the case.

There are several examples for this, although the Gaster tweets which introduced us to Deltarune and directly link up to the game's "Goner Maker" introduction sequence are i would say prime offenders.

Here in these tweets, we are not yet connected, then we are given a way to connect.

Then, we pick this back up where we left it in Deltarune, where we are then asked wether the connection was a success.

This has of course been pointed out to Toby (although he never responded to those messages), and yet it did not prevent him from re-doing the exact same thing a few years later for chapter 2.

In short, the situation is that, to this day, Toby Fox still purposely uses tweets in order to provide important canon-accurate information about his games, with the Spamton Q&A as recently as last year.

In light of that, using that one tweet to say that any information coming from tweets is invalid just can't be right... So one might wonder :

But then, why did Toby say that ?

The problem comes from the fact that this quote is usually cropped like this when people try to share it around :

Which is greatly misleading !

Obviously, Toby Fox's popularity comes mainly from Undertale and later Deltarune. Due to this, and due to the majority of the fandom nowadays being teenagers, many in the fandom are not aware that ever since his own teenage years, Toby Fox has been for the lack of a better term, a massive shitposter. A habit that only started to die out after Undertale's release and in the year that followed. (Though he still shows glimpses of it from time to time)

I mean, we are talking about the person who kept on posting memes on twitter for nearly a decade and who made "a goast poot on u" at the end of the Earthbound Halloween Hack, his first semi-serious game project.

Why ?

Because he's just that kind of "funny guy" and felt like it. His words, not mine.

This was, up until not so long ago, the kind of person that Toby was online.

When taking all this into account and looking back at the un-cropped version of that quote, it becomes pretty obvious what's going on here.

Toby Fox found a bootleg nursery rhyme video of Undertale characters, found that hilarious (As the "funny guy" that he is), and decided to make a shitpost about it. Joking about how this weird thing that he found, right here, was the peak of official Undertale material and might just be more canon in his book than the kickstarter or tweets were.

The post that started this whole thing in the first place was just that, a shitpost, a joke, not something that Toby ever actually meant. Which honestly should have been pretty obvious in the first place, i mean, this is still a post about Toby trolling bootleg nursery rhymes, people. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously...

Besides, that tweet's statement would have been self-contradictory anyways. If tweets weren't canon, then this tweet would not be canon either, etc... Leading to one of those silly paradoxical loops rather than to an actual statement about tweet canonicity.

So then, that brings the question : Why ?

Why do so many people still claim that tweets aren't canon ?

The reason is likely the same as the reason why this misconception was created in the first place : It is a rope to cling on to for some people to defend certain headcanons that Toby had debunked via tweets.

Because yes, between late 2015 and late 2016 Toby used to once in a while answer a question about the lore of the game on tweeter. Leaving some people with their headcanons turning out to be wrong.

(A few examples of headcanons that Toby denied on twitter were that Undyne killed the green soul human, or that ghost monsters used to be humans, for example.)

It was some of those people, in the first place, who started cropping this tweet to make it seem like their headcanons were still on the table and started the mess in the first place.

This rumor, at its origins, was not just a mere misconception but rather a deliberate attempt at misinformation from some fans that weren't happy with the way Toby had taken the game, which is unfortunately still being shared around to this day due to how sensible it seems at first sight.

#toby fox #undertale #deltarune #twitter #undertale theory #deltarune theory

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mushroomwarning · 22 days

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A sorta long post on why I believe Lightbulb SHOULDN’T win season 2 and instead, the other three should be the candidates for winners

Before I start this off, PLEASE DONT BE MEAN TO ME WAUGHHH I’m just respectfully sharing my thoughts as someone who loves writing and I don’t even hate Lightbulb. I just don’t think she would make a good winner to make the story feel satisfied! So this isn’t LB neg, okay? Also keep in mind, I haven’t seen S2 in a hot minute so maybe I might get SOME things wrong but I’ll try my best to go on with my side.

Lightbulb

To start off, I’ll say it, Lightbulb as the possible winner of II S2 will be the most predictable and bland of the four possible contenders. Out of the four, she’s the one who’s managed to get the most out of the show, new friends, enjoyable experiences, a new pet, etc. She also has gotten a lot of screen time ( I think? ) and is a fan favorite for her wackiness n such. Yeah, she’s a little sad her friends are gone but she could always go and be with them if she just quit.

Her friends are waiting for her, honestly I’d say that’s a prize enough For her story, being able to go back and be with her friends, enjoying her time with them without worrying about the game anymore. She’s shown to be distraught with TT leaves, just go and be with your friends to stop being in this game that’s made people way more miserable. She’s got the winner attitude but it’s just. Boring. Predictable. Something that would not be that fun by a story standpoint tbh, at least in my opinion

The other three, I feel would make great winners in their own ways.

Baseball

I’ll start with Baseball, definitely an underdog and a guy nobody expects to win. That’s why he would be a wild card as a possible winner! It would shatter people’s expectations completely, but here’s the twist…If Baseball were to win, it could possible tie back into his story with Nickel. with Baseball probably thinking Nickel would pressure him to share the prize with him and his thoughts of how much of a doormat he’s been for others, Baseball could make his own decision without others influencing him, giving up the prize and giving it to the second place winner, which could be Suitcase or Knife it doesn’t matter.

THAT WOULD BE COOL WOULDN’T IT? Something that ties together Baseballs story thematically eh eh?

Knife

Anyways, Now onto Knife. He’s different from the other three in that, while he hasn’t lost anything like Suitcase or Baseball ( if I remember correctly), unless you count his dignity, he hasn’t gained anything either, unlike Lightbulb. He’s very much a pretty intelligent and strategical person, very much someone who could easily win if it played his cards correctly. There’s also a bit of a lesson he learns from S1 to S2, due to Trophy.

He learns to become less rash, mellowing out after Trophy gave him a bit of a reality check to the way he acts, even if the way he showed him wasn’t the best in the slightest, Knife learns to control his temper, mellowing out and instead uses his smarts to advance more in the game without relying on others and even gives advice to people Like Suitcase, Pickle and Microphone as he goes on.

He learns to be a better person and would honestly make a good contender for first, to reward him for his growth and change, or maybe second place if you want to show his new found humbleness in regards to his emotions

Suitcase

As for suitcase, while she’s sort of predictable as well, she isn’t as predictable as Lightbulb due to the events that she’s gone through and honestly is sort of the most deserving thematically to win out of everyone. Unlike Lightbulb, she’s lost a lot, not really gaining many friends excluding Balloon and gained mental health issues due to the treatment Nickel was giving her. This game has not treated her well in the slightest and she gains growth as time goes on, learning to stand up for herself and speak on her own.

She very much deserves the prize but at the same time, I don’t think she would care if she won or lost. She’s lost a lot and learned from her experiences in the game

Conclusion!

BUT YES. these are my reasons for why Lightbulb should not win. The others have very nice thematic reasons for why they could win but Lightbulb basically gained way WAYY more then they have out of the experience

But yeah, my ranking would go

Lightbulb- not a winner, Fourth place

Baseball - First place ( gives up prize) or Third

Knife - First or Second place

Suitcase - First or Second place too

#sorry if the grammar or spelling is off #object show community #osc #inanimate insanity #ii lightbulb #ii baseball #ii suitcase #ii knife #please be nice and respectful on your opinions..#Martin nonsense

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eph-em-era · 7 months

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hey so i am so so pleased they hired an intimacy coordinator this time around! and you can tell that the actors are much more comfortable too! the intimacy is much much better!!

let's do a lil intimacy breakdown from my knowledge as an IC in training and a director just in general

(this is a long post so it's under the cut)

fact is, there's some awkwardness in the ed/stede s1 kiss, which i am ninety percent sure is due to body placement. i'd wager there was a discussion on set that was like "hey this is a stunning shot, we love what it looks like, let's get the actors in" and they got the actors in and got to the blocking for the kiss and everyone was like "hey this is a bit awkward but we'll muscle through" - cause that awkwardness fits the character arcs.

but it's not actually all that easy turning all the way to one side to kiss someone without moving where your legs are! it's weird! it's an awkward angle! - or more accurately, it's the angle that two people would kiss at if it was a very impulsive, awkward surprise; or if your two lead actors are very good friends faced with playing lovers for the first time and not sure what to feel about that (we've all been there) - there's reticence, but it fits the scene so it's fine.

(Lucius and Pete and Olu and Jim also have moments of intimacy, which for the most part are fine, and I suspect that's a combo of a) their staging is SO MUCH BETTER, b) character choices, c) different directors and d) less of that "OMG WE'RE PLAYING LOVERS NOW" anxiety)

~~onto season 2~~

for the record, intimacy direction isn't just for kissing/sex scenes, ICs can come in for intimacy building exercises and additional blocking, as well as things like nudity, childbirth or any similar sensitive work, but I'm going to be talking mostly about kisses in this. anyway!

Beautiful! Kind, lovely, tender! The backdrop is super nice too. Honestly, the Lucius/Pete stuff has really been so nice all the way along; that's great casting! Especially in S2E5, everything reads as very earnest and space is used very well.

Archie and Jim. Now, we don't have anything to compare it to from S1, but I'm flagging it cause yeah, they definitely have similar staging to Ed/Stede from S1E09. I would say there's a much better range of movement in this one, likely because they're sitting on the floor, braced against the bed, so they can compensate for the weird angle better than E/S could. This might come off as a lil rude but it's also more likely that these two actors are slightly more flexible and can make this staging work better than Taika and Rhys.

Cannot for the LIFE OF ME find a gif of their hug, but they have fantastic chemistry! despite only showing up for like 2/3s of one episode. I've seen people whining about how they absolutely should have kissed - and you know what, I would have liked that too!

however, I suspect that what happened here was that one or both of the actors didn't want to kiss on screen, and voiced their objections to the IC, who found a work around. It was likely not cause of any kind of ill will or homophobia, for the record - sometimes you just don't want to kiss people. Maybe you're sick, maybe you're feeling weird, maybe you're just not in the right headspace, but a kiss might be off the cards that day.

This is behaviour we want to encourage, btw. The goal is to ensure that actors feel comfortable and that the shot isn't be all end all. I've done something very similar, we had 20 mins to get the blocking done and the actors weren't at a point where kissing felt comfy, so we did a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

it is better that the actors are comfortable than your ship is fulfilled.

Hey yknow what I was saying about how ICs aren't just used for blocking, they're used for chemistry building? That's what they've HIT ON HERE. This is genuinely a very lovely kiss. It's deeply appropriate for the characters, and it's private and simple. things get a little more raunchy, and hands start moving, but then it's stopped, for a narrative reason, and the chemistry remains with the hand hold. It's really very nice, well blocked and well performed. the hand placement! the tenderness! it's great. there's none of that s1 reticence, whether that was from characters or actors.

I think the intimacy work, much like the writing and the characterisation is much, much stronger in this season, and that's to the show's benefit. I know we're only halfway through, but I'm thoroughly interested to see where things go in the remaining episodes. I will update this post if anything exciting crops up in the final five.

and this is why you need to hire ICs! they make life easier for actors, directors and crew alike!!

#our flag means death #ofmd #intimacy coordinator #ed teach #stede bonnet #intimacy direction #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers

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misc-obeyme · 5 months

Text

It’s me I’m back with Lesson 34 spoilers below. (including the hard lesson)

I always try to write these posts shortly after finishing the lesson so that it’s like… my immediate and unfiltered thoughts lol. Sometimes I change my mind about stuff after I see other people’s interpretations of things. So if you were wondering why I’m taking the time to write this at 2 am, that’s why. I totally forgot about the lesson during the day due to the whole Thanksgiving thing.

ANYWAY.

I feel like we got SO MUCH BARB in this lesson?? He was barely in it. But we had other characters talking about him and that honestly makes me happy, too. Probably because I like when they give us some perspective into his character.

BUT FIRST.

Belphie. We were actually playing the role of Lilith in his little Celestial Realm dream sequence, right? And then at the end it’s all but we’re not siblings.

Listen. I just think that Belphie has a lot of unresolved trauma surrounding Lilith and I really don’t feel like having MC play hide-and-seek with him in a dream is going to be enough to help him move past it. Enough to make him want to help MC? Maybe. But I dunno.

However, I also think I probably shouldn’t expect anything more intense than that from an otome game. They were just trying to give us SOMETHING to explain why he was cool with making a pact.

WHICH WE FINALLY DID. With Beel, Belphie, AND Levi. I get Beel & Belphie doing theirs at the same time, but I’m still a little baffled about why Levi waited so long. There probably isn’t a reason, but who knows maybe they’ll surprise us with something lol.

Ah. Lucifer.

This was my favorite part:

I love Mammon, he always just says exactly what he’s thinking (unless it’s how much he loves MC lol).

But we all knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, right? We knew Lucifer would be last. We knew that Lucifer would be the most difficult one to make a pact with. Remember what happened with him last time? Of course he doesn’t want to make a pact with us now. We’re likely going to be going through some kind of long drawn out drama that will eventually lead to Lucifer giving in and making a pact with us.

However, I found both Solomon’s and Diavolo’s reactions to this absolutely hilarious:

Can the two of you take this seriously, please?? I know you both find Lucifer highly entertaining and yeah, I'm usually laughing at him most of the time, too, but I need that pact to get back to where I'm from, thanks.

But we’re only on Lesson 34. So I think we still have plenty of time to make a pact with Lucifer, learn the truth about Nightbringer, and return to our timeline (or have the timelines merge or whatever nonsense they’re gonna do).

I’m still hoping for all that to get resolved by the end of this season lol.

Now, I found this exchange from Belphie’s Celestial Realm shenanigans especially interesting:

Assuming this is accurate to what actually happened when Lucifer was still an angel, this means that the angels knew Barbatos. They know him by name, they clearly think he’s a big deal, and they’re surprised that he’s agreed to be Diavolo’s butler.

I was always under the impression that the demons and the angels didn’t really know much about each other. But now I’m wondering if maybe Barbatos had something to do with the end of the war that happened before the Celestial War. The one that was between the Celestial Realm and the Devildom. I have no reason for thinking this other than the fact that as angels, Lucifer & Simeon clearly know him. And what else would they know him from? Though I suppose anything could have happened lol.

And then there was all of this:

What does it MEAN?! (Obviously I chose the second option for MC's dialogue, which increased Barb's intimacy.)

Barbatos my true love. Why did you give MC a real piece of paper from your grimoire? He’s always been cautious, always keeping MC at arm’s length, and now all of a sudden it’s here’s a piece of my grimoire? There is NO WAY he doesn’t have all of the build up from the OG. I can’t believe that he would actually give MC a piece of his grimoire if he had only just met them at the beginning of Nightbringer. So I’m tacking this on as additional evidence that Barb knows all.

Also can we just appreciate Lucifer in 32-A? All his brothers are completely out of it and he single-handedly motivates every one of them back into action.

It sure worked, huh? Do you think the credit card is in the freezer yet?

You guys. THE HARD LESSON.

It was everything. I LOVE the Little Ds. I LOVE them hanging out with Diavolo. I LOVE that Barbatos couldn’t accompany MC because Diavolo requested some fancy human world dish. This entire hard lesson was *chef’s kiss*

GOD I love Barb's knowing look and Dia's little frown. I love them so much it's almost painful lol.

Okay that’s all I’ve got to say about this lesson. In general, I enjoyed it. They coulda played up Belphie’s yandere tendencies a bit more. I felt like his change of heart was rather rushed, but they really can’t put him through the therapy he needs. I don’t think the lessons are long enough for that.

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findafight · 2 years

Note

Oh my god!!! That Steve/baby sister fic!!! If you ever want to build it out more I’d be obsessed (ie the party + extended party’s reactions, hop + Joyce and how everyone pitches in)

╰⁠(⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠´⁠꒳⁠`⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠)⁠╯ awwww anon!!!!!

Honestly I have been thinking about it and I know I put in the tags of the original post, buuuut. Robin called Steve Bud or Buddy which morphed into Bubba when they are being particularly soft with each other, and the baby (who I am possibly leaning towards calling Tina so her nickname can be Tintin because it's cute idk) picks up on it so calls Steve her Bubba. Also because "he's my big brother" can sort of become "he's my Bubba!" If words are smushed together by baby babble

But before all that, Steve (who walked to work that day because he didn't have a baby car seat yet and wasn't going to leave his baby sister whom he always wanted and loves so dearly already ALONE or worse. With their FATHER.) goes to, of all people, Mrs. Wheeler for help. He'd go to Joyce but she's working and Karen Wheeler has the youngest kid he knows so is the best bet for maybe getting some tips and also maybe a carrier because the bjorn isn't going to cut it for long. So he goes and Mr. Wheeler immediately thinks Steve's Accidental Baby Acquisition is due to Steve's own recklessness. (Steve is a prolific lover, sure, but he's smart and safe about it! When he was thirteen his dad sat him down for a talk about not wanting the disgrace of a shotgun wedding and his grandpa gave him a run down of venereal diseases he saw (didn't mention having but. Well.) His pals have in WWII that put the fear of God in him regarding unsafe sex. Moreso than the potential babies. So. He's always very careful. For this very reason!! Except apparently his dad didn't use his own advice but Steve isn't complaining because, once again, he always wanted a little sibling.)

Anyways the wheelers are like ohhhh a Harrington Scandal not involving the boy our daughter dated? Okay sure here's Holly's old baby carseat. Hopper is just. He's like. I thought Steve and that kid I kept giving warnings to about selling dope to were a thing and Steve is like "will people stop assuming she's mine!! I know I am a bit of a slut but I am terrified of chlamydia!!! And even if this WAS my fault (which it is not and also she's a gift I love you little baby sister you're the light of my life) I am taking responsibility for it so maybe we all need to be a little less judgy hmmm??"

Joyce and Karen give him some hand me down baby clothes and books, some good tips about feeding and burping and things like that, and Claudia and Sue offer to come passive aggressively congratulate Steve's dad.

Dustin is a little jealous because this Steve Time is going to be encroached upon by This Literal Infant but Steve is like Dustin... you are my Little Brother... My silly pal...Now you have a sister too!! 🥰 And Dustin is like Oh Shit That's Right and proceeds to try to teach this Literal Infant, it cannot be stressed enough that she is a few months old and cannot stay sitting up by herself, how to build a radio.

Eddie is just trying to not have a heart attack from the concentration of Pure Longing activated by seeing Steve With A Baby and has also been forbidden from playing anything loud near them. He is fine and deals with this by writing ballads that make Gareth gag from their sweetness and Jeff have a very knowingly indulgent look when he sees the lyrics. But Gareth lets he hit his drums with he baby hands and Jeff pretends she stole his nose so they aren't that put out by it.

El is Fascinated by the tiny human and asks lots of questions and wants to play with her, give her experiences of softness and kindness right off the bat she knew she herself was denied, so she's often the official baby holder when Steve needs to do something when the Party is around.

The rest of the party is pretty meh on the baby. Sure it's exciting at first but she just kinda becomes part of regular life. They take turns doing actual babysitting for Steve so he can work or run errands or even, gasp, have some normal early adult fun times, but it's all pretty regular. Erica is glad she's not the party baby anymore.

They do however probably secretly fight over who gets to be baby's godparent. Steve isn't allowed to know.

#anonasaurus #steve harrington #big brother steve #the party #stranger things #steddie #platonic stobin #dustin and steve #findaanswers #finda's rambles #finda writes stuff

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mikalara-dracula · 1 year

Text

❣️ The type of girl the Sakamakis want to spend the rest of their lives with—

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with this topic and slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.

This request is a re-upload bc tumblr deleted my post... wtf.

Tagging: @liannelara-dracula

- Shu -

❣️ When Shu was a kid, Beatrix always told him that he’d have to marry a girl his father grants him.

❣️ She probably implemented the toxic belief into him that he’d have to marry a docile girl who always listens to him.

❣️ Since Beatrix always kept reminding him that he would be married one day, he sometimes wondered what that would be like as a child since he was curious.

❣️ But as we know, after a bunch of childhood trauma, he got to the point of not caring about anything, so marriage was the last thing on his mind.

❣️ He never even focused on an ideal type, and didn’t ever think about how he could come across someone he’d want as a lover.

❣️ So, he’d probably meet his partner in a very unexpected way and not in a typical setting.

❣️ Shu’s seen it all throughout the centuries and knows when a girl is interested in him—cliché stuff is just a turn off, and so are suitresses and girls who have obvious interest in him.

❣️ Karl has probably tried to hook him up with different suitresses throughout the centuries, but he’s probably put off marriage so many times that it seems impossible to get him hitched.

❣️ He’s just not interested in matchmaking and makes a game out of it every damn time. He once made everyone think he was actually going to pick one of the suitresses Karl presented, but in the end, he called it off and said he wasn’t satisfied nor ready to make his choice.

❣️ Beatrix grew angry every time he’d reject the girls offered to him, but Karl always reassured her that it would happen, it would just take some time. I see that Karl’s just more patient when it comes to this—afterall, he probably took his time when it came to picking three wives, but that’s none of my business lmao.

❣️ Despite suitresses, there have been other women that Shu's 'dated' or 'courted' (for the older days sake), but it was never enough to keep him interested, or it was just a fling.

❣️ Anyways, going back to the topic, Shu is mainly interested in a girl that catches him off guard, especially when he first meets her.

❣️ If he meets a girl that isn’t interested in him at all, and even flat-up dislikes him, he’s honestly into that.

❣️ And as an added bonus, if she’s mean to him, it’s a turn-on. He’d honestly find it to amusing if he kept meeting her coincidentally at school. He’d treat it like a game, and would love to annoy her to see what smart remarks she’d give—he just loves the tension.

❣️ So, girls with a smart mouth are his thing—he just finds it amusing on a girl, especially since he and his brothers are from times where girls had to hold their tongues. So a sweet, docile girl, just ain’t gonna cut it.

❣️ A girl who surprises him by wearing lingerie to bed from time to time, hence my post about it here.

❣️ Wants a girl who will stroke or ruffle his hair to lull him to sleep. He really enjoys this. And if he’s resting his head in his s/o’s lap while being stroked in such a manner, it’s just heaven to him.

❣️ If a girl babies him, he’s all for it since he’s just a man-child.

❣️ Cooking his favorite food, making him snacks, he really appreciates it even though he’d never admit, at least not easily.

❣️ And if a girl feeds it to him, it only turns him on, plus it gives him the perfect excuse to bite her fingers and have a small taste of her blood.

❣️ A girl that will lay down next to him when he’s sleeping or resting, or allow him to rest his head on her shoulder when sitting next to him.

❣️ Enjoys forehead kisses or even if a girl places a kiss in his hair.

❣️ Also loves kisses on cheeks. If by any chance she kisses his cheek unexpectedly, he’ll never let her live it down and will tease her endlessly about provoking him.

❣️ A girl who defies or blushes at his teasing, he just loves it and only makes him continue.

❣️ Girls that don’t mind keeping him warm by skin-to-skin contact.

❣️ One who doesn’t mind making out with him on the couch, and if it’s in front of his brothers—Reiji especially—Shu’s all for it and thrives on it, and only intensifies the moment to make whatever audience he has extra annoyed.

❣️ Girls with thick thighs and ass—like this is a die hard for him since he likes to grab/clutch both parts.

❣️ Is into girls who will allow him to record their moans when he’s getting intimate with them and listen to those lewd tracks on an endless loop on his MP3 player.

❣️ A girl who has a dominate side. Shu doesn’t mind being submissive every once in a while, but he leans more towards the dominate side. So a girl who can do both, but lean more towards the submissive side is his type.

❣️ Although outside the bedroom, he likes a girl that takes the lead in the relationship. He finds it amusing in all honesty.

❣️ Despite his laziness, he can be quite passionate with a girl he loves, so he definitely wants an s/o that will return the passion just as equally.

❣️ A girl that likes laying in bed naked with him until morning, especially after sex, is his Achille’s heel.

❣️ And speaking of sex, he’s definitly into that after sex talk, and if you lay there naked in his arms, he’s all for it.

❣️ So with this, Shu secretly hopes that Reiji will walk in on him and his s/o in bed sometime, better yet in the actual act so he can rub it in. After all, as I’ve mentioned in other posts about Shu, he lives for the risk of getting caught.

❣️ Oh, and bare in mind that Shu goes to bed in his underwear sometimes (this is canon!).

❣️ (In one of the game routes, Yui went to go wake him up for school and he was in that state since he asked her to dress him.)

❣️ So because he sometimes goes to bed this way, he’s into a girl who won’t mind dressing him. He’ll tease her endlessly about it and won’t let her live it down.

❣️ Girls that like being kissed when no one’s looking—he finds this really amusing, especially if he can kiss his lover’s shoulders or neck. And if they react in a way that sounds or looks lewd to him, he’s even more amused. ;))))

❣️ As the heir, he has to attend lots of events his father forces onto him, and that includes balls.

❣️ So, he’s into a girl that’s into ditching the ball and going into a secluded, closed off room with him for a bit of intimacy before going back out to face all the guests again.

❣️ And if she forgets to fix her hair and comes out looking like a mess that’s been under the touch of Mr. Heir, he’s all for it and will send her seductive stares from afar even if he’s busy conversing with other noblemen.

❣️ Just being able to sit on a bench with his lover is enough for him when it comes to quality time—he does’t really care for fancy dates.

❣️ Getting him out in public is hard and quite rare since he doesn’t have the energy to do much, so if his s/o can drag his ass out of the house, he’s actually quite happy despite him complaining that it’s a pain to go out.

❣️ Secretly, he actually likes the fact that someone is putting so much effort into making him move and not calling him a good-for-nothing like Reiji does while doing so.

❣️ A girl who likes to go on walks. He’s not the biggest fan of walking but if it’s with his s/o, he doesn’t mind it.

❣️ And here, he’ll decide to get lively and decide to pick up his lover in his arms and spin her around out of nowhere. It’s really so he can hear her laugh since the cheerful sound is literal music to his ears.

❣️ It is canon that he likes going to concerts involving classical music or orchestras, so you can best bet he wants a girl that will appreciate going to places like this with him.

❣️ She doesn’t have to have a love for classical music like he does, but her having an appreciation for it is something he deeply appreciates.

❣️ That way if he decides to take his lover to a classical music concert, he doesn’t have be concerned about her being bored. Appreciation is something he rarely gets since Reiji’s constantly calling him useless, so a girl that appreciates these dates is something he cherishes.

❣️ During an orchestra, he’s into a girl that will kiss his cheek or pull him in for a kiss in the dark while the music plays.

❣️ And of course, you can bet he’ll tease her endlessly for provoking him and promises that she’ll be paying for it when they get home.

❣️ Girls that are willing to undress him before sex. He’ll undress the girl he loves too, but her taking his clothes off tells him she’s eager for him as well.

❣️ We all know how much Shu loves his baths, so a girl that likes to bathe rather than shower is a plus.

❣️ If a girl is into the idea of bathtub sex.

❣️ I’ve said this in another post, but I want to mention here as well. Shu’s especially into the idea of having his lover lay next to him bare while he’s still clothed in the tub since he enjoys the thrill of her being laid there naked for him. So if she’s willing to do this for him, he’s sold.

❣️ A girl that's into showing off her legs and wearing short or cropped things. And if she wears short shorts that show a bit of her ass or if they ride up and she has to adjust them, he’s all for it and will tease her relentlessly.

❣️ A girl that will give him the most amusing reactions when he’s acting like the perv we all know he is. For example, if he sees that his s/o is really into a movie they’re watching together, he’ll catch her off guard by lifting up her skirt, and her reaction is the key that makes him want to keep her on the edge.

❣️ Shu’s into giving his girl hickies, so if she tries to cover them up he’s beyond amused.

❣️ If his girl allows him to use her as a body pillow, and if she allows him to lay his head on her chest, it’s utter heaven to him.

❣️ A girl that doesn’t mind being teased under the table, and what I mean is him running his foot up and down his lover’s leg and/or attempting to get their skirt to go up so he can see her panties.

❣️ Likes it if his girl initiates kisses, it really riles him up.

❣️ Girls that wear dresses or skirts with high slits.

❣️ Or if she wears jeans that have rips where the thigh or ass area is.

❣️ Girls that tie their long shirts into knots about their waistlines, and if they pair this look up with short shorts, he's done.

❣️ I've said this once, but I'll say it again, Shu’s into a girl that has dishelved hair since it gives him the image of what she’ll look like if she wakes up with him.

- Reiji -

❣️ Reiji has always hoped to meet someone worthwhile, someone he could dedicate himself to without finding it to be a waste of time.

❣️ Has hoped to meet his love in a mysterious and seductive way.

❣️ He wants to meet a girl that just puzzles and entrances him all at once. He wants to be able to find all the pieces in order to get to know her, and he’ll drive himself mad doing this.

❣️ And also, on a more psychological level, he wants a girl that will help him accept things as they come and as they are since he has a hard time with this.

❣️ (In one of the game routes, he said to Yui that he has a hard time accepting things, and that he was only able to because she taught him that.)

❣️ Aw, my bae Rei :’)

❣️ Reiji has dated before and this is canon, so he definitely knows what he wants in an s/o.

❣️ He probably met his one and only at one of the balls Karl hosted and pursed her from there.

❣️ A girl who is somewhat witty and clever in personality.

❣️ Wants a girl who will listen to him talk about his scientific theories.

❣️ Likes it if his partner will just sit down in his lab and converse with him while he works.

❣️ Girls that have a classy fashion sense—there’s nothing better to him than being with a woman who knows how to present herself.

❣️ And if she surprises him by wearing a garter belt and garter socks under her outfit, he’s sold on her.

❣️ Especially if it’s under her school uniform.

❣️ A girl that wears red lipstick, especially during special gatherings. He just loves this on a woman.

❣️ Wants a girl that’s into being hugged from behind unexpectedly, so he can whisper sweet things into her ears and place soft kisses on her shoulders and neck.

❣️ If a girl calls him ‘dear’ or ‘dearest’—he just loves the formality and that it holds such sweetness.

❣️ Girls who tie their hair up into buns or have it styled in a short, rather sophisticated, style.

❣️ A girl who teases him—I know this sounds strange since we always see Reiji being so serious, but deep down, he actually likes to let loose, especially with a woman he loves or is in fact interested in.

❣️ (In the manga, he once got a little careless with Yui. He was about to drink her blood in the school’s hall. Yui of course said no and warned that someone could catch them since they were out in plain sight, but Reiji simply responded with ‘I don’t care’—so this is an example of how Reiji lets loose and that he in fact does from time to time.)

❣️ Now going back to the teasing, he’d love it if his lover would slip off his glasses while getting intimate with him.

❣️ A girl that walks with an elegant stride—he just loves this, especially if she’s wearing heels.

❣️ And if they’re red bottoms, he’s done.

❣️ Is entranced by a girl who invites him into bed while he’s busy. That’s definitely something our bae Rei won’t refuse. Right, @liannelara-dracula?

❣️ If she’s into carriage rides—there’s just something he loves about the aesthetic, classiness, antiquity of it all.

❣️ (This is actually how transportation is the demon world—yes, they still use horse pulled carriages to get around—so you can assume that Reiji would definitely be into taking his lover on an old carriage ride from back home. He went on a carriage ride with Yui once so…)

❣️ A girl who’s into taking long walks with him under the moonlight. Reiji finds this romantic, plus, it gives him the excuse to be alone with his lover. Also likes to hold his lover’s hand in this scenario.

❣️ And if he senses that she’s in the mood, he might try something frivolous. ;))

❣️ Likes to lay down with his lover and talk under the sheets.

❣️ His hair is soft as hell, so he enjoys it when his lover runs their fingers through it while he’s the little spoon—just don’t let any of his brothers see this, they’d never let him live it down.

❣️ A girl who will be appreciative of his the bento boxes (it’s canon that Reiji likes making them). In one of the drama CDs, he made boxes for everyone and spent so much time making the food in the bentos look like each of his brothers (the listener included), it was honestly so wholesome.

❣️ Oh, my bae rei :’).

❣️ A girl who's sorta oblivious to his sexual passes sometimes. For example, she's busy doing something and he'll give her a look as he's coming towards her and goes into initiating sex.

❣️ A girl that likes having tea with him—this is a must since we all know how much Reiji enjoys his tea.

❣️ And having it with a girl he loves or is interested in, is a big thing for him. He just loves it.

❣️ Sometimes however, Reiji likes to try something different for a beverage and that would be coffee—Chemex coffee more so.

❣️ My favorite type lmao.

❣️ Anyways, he prefers this method of making coffee because it reminds him of lab related stuff. It involves a lot of precision, which he loves.

❣️ And if his s/o is interested helping him prepare it, he’s definitely into teaching them.

❣️ Apart from coffee, Reiji is definitely into the culinary arts—so he’s always trying out new recipes.

❣️ Loves it if his s/o does taste tests for him—it means so much to Reiji that someone likes his cooking and compliments him for it, along with the work he’s put in.

❣️ This man needs love, oh my-

❣️ Reiji secretly likes shooting stars (this is canon), so having an s/o that’s into stargazing and watching for shooting stars is someone he wants by his side eternally.

❣️ And you can bet that during stargazing, Rei is pretty romantic.

❣️ Initiates lots of kisses in this scenario, so an s/o that likes this type of intimacy is something he’s into.

❣️ Carnivals! It’s no secret that Reiji loves carnivals, and it’s in fact canon that he loves rollercoasters. So an s/o that’s into this type of entertainment, he’s definitely on board.

❣️ Will buy his lover anything they desire at a carnival, he’s just too precious.

❣️ A girl who shares their cotton candy with him while exchanging sweet-tasting kisses—oh yeah, he’s all for it.

❣️ Even though he loves rollercoasters, he doesn’t mind if his s/o doesn’t, but it would be a plus if she did so he could enjoy riding them with her.

❣️ If his s/o is afraid of rollercoasters, he enjoys comforting them. It’s the little things that make our bae Rei who he is. 🙂

❣️ A girl that will appreciate his motherly side such as when he gives her his blazer when she’s cold; when he brings her a hair tie because she forgot one; or when he picks her up bridal style because her shoes get soaked from the rain, or when she’s tired of walking in heels.

❣️ A girl that likes to drink wine or champagne with him. Rei not only deems this as classy, but also romantic and secretly hopes it leads to a passionate night.

❣️ Honestly, Reiji’s into a girl who starts sensual sessions.

❣️ And if his lover pulls him in by his tie, he can’t handle it. ;))

- Laito -

❣️ The girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with is someone he hopes to meet in an oblivious or adventurous way since he’s all about suspense and scandal.

❣️ He probably met his one and only in one of two ways: they were friends for years and never looked at each other that way until later, or they were strangers and had a one night stand and he couldn’t stop thinking about her afterwards and pursued.

❣️ Likes girls who are witty and wicked in humor, mostly because he’s playful in nature.

❣️ Wants a girl who can paint him like one of her French boys. xDD

❣️ A girl who is open-ended and fluid with her sexuality.

❣️ A girl who can be both dominating and submissive, and if she leans more towards the dominant side, he’s all for it.

❣️ Is into girls who can make him cream and scream in bed. xDD

❣️ A girl that will argue about who’s the bigger slut in the relationship.

❣️ “If I’ve told you once, baby, I’ve told you a thousand times—but I’m the biggest slut.”

❣️ “Oh, really?” She’d tease.

❣️ “Are you challenging me?” He’d say.

❣️ A girl who is shameless with him and will whisper seductive things into his ears—this really gets him.

❣️ And if his lover gets into a conversation with him about having children, let’s just say he wants to play Picasso. ;)))

❣️ “All this talk of about babies has inspired something in me.” She’d say.

❣️ “Oh, is that so, baby?” He’d coo, enticing further. “What could that be?”

❣️ Pulling him closer by his collar, she’d deviously whisper, “I suppose we could let that bed over there speak for us.”

❣️ A girl who wakes up on top of him, or if they’re just napping together and she sleeps on top—he really likes this and won’t hesitate to run his hands up and down her body.

❣️ A girl that goes to bed naked.

❣️ A girl who plays with his hair and running her fingers through it.

❣️ And if she takes his fedora and runs off with it, he thrives on the chase, especially if she keeps telling him to catch her.

❣️ A girl who undoes the tie of his uniform when making out with him, and if it’s at school against the lockers, it’s just his favorite.

❣️ If his one and only by any chance slides down her underwear/garter in class and passes it to him under the desks as a temporary souvenir, he simply can’t contain himself and will get her for it later.

❣️ A girl that invites him for sex and make out sessions at school is definitely his type.

❣️ Is into a girl who passes him notes that range from “you look so cute today” to “you’d look even better with your clothes off.”

❣️ Is into girls who are into ditching class to do something scandalous with him.

❣️ Girls who grab his hand while walking with him, he likes the dominance remember?

❣️ Girls who spank his ass are big turn-on for him. He just loves the amusement and the fact that they can’t keep their hands to themselves when around him.

❣️ Laito will definitely throw his lover onto a bed and get on top of them when the moment is intimate. And if his s/o takes the initiative and flips him onto his back for reversed dominance he’s all for it. Let’s face it, this dude is all about dominant women.

❣️ Girls that are into being fed, and if she feeds him, he’s done.

❣️ Girls that aren’t ashamed of lifting their skirts or dresses to heat their bums by a fireplace (refer to this image). Laito’s into a lot of weird things, so a girl doing this is just too amusing to him.

❣️ If she does this secretly at balls while by a fireplace in the grand hall, he can't resist the view and whatnot. He'll totally take advantage of this on the spot.

❣️ Or better yet, if she does it and tells him to look without doing anything, it takes everything in him to hold back.

❣️ In fact, it might inspire him to pull down his pants and try it with her.

❣️ Oh dear, I’ve said too much.

❣️ Girls that are into wearing form fitting dresses---he's all about the curvature of a woman, so this is a big turn-on for him.

❣️ Matching manicures and pedicures with his lover.

❣️ An s/o he can do the unthinkable with, such as getting nipple piercings together.

❣️ Girls that like getting caught while intimate, it only riles him up.

❣️ Girls that like breaking all the rules, especially something like curfew just to hangout with him.

❣️ If she plays the role of the “good girl” and is actually “bad” or rebellious by nature, he can’t contain himself. He loves it if his s/o plays this duo life so he can tease her for it. And he especially thrives if she’s only “bad” for him.

❣️ A girl who’s into being surprised in bed. For example, she’ll be like half asleep and he’ll wake her up by planting kisses all over her body.

❣️ A girl who laughs during sex—he finds this cute.

❣️ But why do I get the feeling that it’s mostly him who’s a laughing mess since he’s weird like that xDD.

❣️ As we all know, Laito likes to play the piano, so a girl that knows how to play is definitely a plus.

❣️ He also likes to softly tease her by laying kisses on her neck while she plays, and you can best bet this will lead to a much steamier session since he’s all about intimacy. So a girl that’s into this type of affection is someone he definitely wants as a one and only.

❣️ A girl that will pull him in by the tie, he can’t take it.

❣️ A girl that’s not ashamed of being naked, even if it’s in front of others.

❣️ A girl that will wear his hat during sex. If she pushes him down on the bed, takes his hat, puts it on, and rides him with his hat on, he’s all hers.

❣️ A girl that runs through the sprinklers in her underwear and he joins.

❣️ It happened in the front yard of the mansion once and Reiji was mad. xDD

❣️ A girl that doesn't wear underwear, even when she goes out.

- Kanato -

❣️ Girls who are into wearing transparent night gowns.

❣️ It’s the type of girl he likes to pull into bed with him anyday.

❣️ Food play—this is a big one for him, so a girl that’s into this, he’s all for it.

❣️ Like Laito, he’s into girls who are into being fed. Kanato’s very much into feeding his lover his cakes and other sweets.

❣️ Likes a girl that’s into sitting on the school stairs or benches and just talking about whatever with him.

❣️ And if the girl makes him raspberry pudding (it’s canon that this is his favorite dessert), he’s so taken back by this.

❣️ Is into a girl that’s into exchanging soft kisses and getting into steamy sessions with him.

❣️ A girl that can sing him to sleep—he’s a big fan of lullabies so being able to fall asleep to a sweet tune sung by his s/o is more than a treat to him, it’s a literal paradise.

❣️ Girls that are into wearing flower crowns, and if she wears one that he makes her, it really means everything to him.

❣️ Girls that wear bows in their hair and lean more towards a cutesy style of attire.

❣️ When it comes to romance, this boy wants to be bewitched.

❣️ He loves the game of entrancement a girl can subject onto him, mostly because he likes the mystery concept like Reiji.

❣️ When he met his s/o, it was probably by attraction at first sight and he kept it secret for a while.

❣️ Location wise, he probably met his lover in the garden outside the mansion. She was probably a guest at a party Karl was hosting and when Kanato saw his s/o, he didn’t pay much attention to them at first, but boy, was he physically attracted to them.

❣️ Stargazing—it’s simple, but rather romantic when alone with a partner.

❣️ And here, Kanato takes the opportunity to get intimate even if he’s out in nature with his lover. He’ll claim that he wants to give the stars and moon a show by making his lover drown in ecstasy. So bear in mind, he’s into a girl that’s all for this.

❣️ Is into a girl that’s into poems and if she’s into hearing them be recited by him.

❣️ Kanato really digs deep into poetry since he’s deeper than most think, so reading poetry together with his s/o is a must. It’s something he deems romantic.

❣️ Is also into a girl that will accept poetry he writes and bare in mind that what he writes it is for her and her eyes only.

❣️ Just don’t let any of his brothers read what he wrote to his lover. All hell will break loose.

❣️ Lots of pillow talk.

❣️ This man is all about those after sex talks and they range from being teasing to downright lewd, there is no awkwardness/weirdness here.

❣️ Prefers that his s/o wears a see-through slip to bed, to which he can take/rip off.

❣️ A girl that gives him devious looks from afar that hint towards sexual intentions.

❣️ If a girl has silky soft hair, he loves to run his hands through it any day.

❣️ A girl who’s scandalous but only for him.

❣️ Teasing is something he’s all for, like if she pulls the strap of his overalls to get his attention, he’s really hooked.

❣️ If a girl takes the lead in sex—that is, she's making out with him she always aims to pull down the straps of his overalls with a lot of force—and it’s quick!

❣️ Although he likes being sensual and taking his time, he likes that sometimes she rushes things because she’s eager for him. This brings out the animal in him.

❣️ If she uses lotions that smell like a fruit or soft flower. He really likes this and will compliment her for it.

❣️ Likes it if a girl goes by her full name rather than a shortened version (ex. Lian vs. Lianna). Kanato claims that a girl’s elegance and beauty is only heightened when she uses her full first name rather than something abbreviated. Hopefully that makes sense lol.

❣️ Kanato’s very much into touching his lover’s neck or stroking it in a delicate manner when a moment gets soft, or if he’s trying to get their attention. So, a girl that’s into this type of affection is someone he’s sold on.

❣️ A girl that doesn’t mind being reeled in for a sudden kiss. This man is all about passion, so he’ll randomly cup his lover’s cheeks, pull them close and kiss them, even in front of his brothers.

❣️ Idk why I didn’t mention this sooner but, tea parties are an absolute must with Kanato.

❣️ He especially likes making his lover teas that smell like flowers.

❣️ And if the universe is on his side and his lover ends up having tea drip down from the sides of their lips, he’ll take the initiative by suddenly licking it off them.

❣️ And as devious as he is, he’ll claim that he was just trying to prevent the tea from falling on their clothes ;))).

❣️ Speaking of clothes, he loves a girl who appreciates the clothes he sews for her. He’s really big on this and will sew his s/o stuff he thinks they’d look great in. After all, this man could be a fashion designer, hence @liannlara-dracula’s post about it here.

❣️ Girls that don't wear a bra to bed, mostly because it gives him the excuse to caress or grope their boobs if he decides to get initmate with them.

❣️ If she sits across from at the small table, he’ll lift up her skirt/dress with his foot—and if she returns him a devious look or smirk, he’s definitely turned on.

❣️ Likes a girl who’s into heavy eye contact, especially if she’s dancing or with someone else and he's looking from afar.

❣️ Girls who wear knee/thigh high socks.

❣️ If she pouts or gives puppy dog eyes—it really gets him. (It’s ancient, but I have a post on this subject here.)

❣️ A girl who is really sweet but maybe fragile in some sense.

❣️ He likes a girl who will allow him to brush her hair and apply makeup on her. So here, he kinda holds her by her chin and has her looking up at him. He does it in a way where he can be really close, and this invokes a lot sexual undertones since he likes to be suggestive.

❣️ Likes a girl that will be turned on by his whispers or mummers in her ear.

❣️ Likes it she plays with his hair in bed.

❣️ If she sits beside him and rests her head on his shoulder.

❣️ A girl who looks pretty when she sleeps.

- Ayato -

❣️ Ayato wants someone he can be obnoxious with and vice versa.

❣️ Is definitely into girls with attitude—and I mean attitude, it’s a turn-on for him.

❣️ Cliche but he’d probably meet his girl at school.

❣️ She’d probably someone he’d constantly try to impress from the start.

❣️ A girl that he can call “bruh” and have “bruh” moments with lmao. xDD

❣️ Pillow forts all the way—he loves a girl who’s into this.

❣️ Fuck yeah! Pillow forts society!

❣️ A girl who he can have friendly competitions with. And if she’s competitive like him, it’s a bonus and only riles him up more.

❣️ “Babe, I’ve told you a million times. You’re no match for me.” He’d boast.

❣️ “Oh really? We’ll see about that.” She’d challenge.

❣️ He claims he always lets her win in competitons, when realistically, he just lost those matches.

❣️ A girl that catches him off guard with her comebacks.

❣️ Girls that wear strappy things and that act innocent about it, he's so turned on he can't contain himself.

❣️ Pretends that he gets whatever they’re talking about sometimes (like if they’re talking about math or science for example), but he really doesn’t get it. So a girl that can see through this and still stay with him is a plus.

❣️ Cordelia probably gave him the bs talk that the girl he dates has to be ‘below’ him in every way.

❣️ She also probably told him that the girl needs to be absolutely flawless because she has to ‘represent’ him since he’s ‘the best’ but she can’t be ‘above’ him. It’s kinda like ‘the best should have the best, but not better than himself’ hopefully that makes sense haha.

❣️ We’ve all heard that some couples keep each other’s shirts/hoodies, and Ayato’s all for this.

❣️ He’s especially into keeping his lover’s bra too whilst they keep a pair of his boxers lol.

❣️ If his girl leaves her bra in his locker as a souvenir to keep instead of a shirt, he just gets off on this. It’s untraditional, but he’s all for it.

❣️ Or he may even steal his girl’s bra and keep it in his locker as a souvenir to annoy her. He’s obnoxious so an s/o that can tolerate this is a plus.

❣️ A girl who’s into wearing his clothes, he’s so into this.

❣️ Wearing his cologne—he just loves the fact if his girl smells like him, which serves as another way of him claiming his girl as his.

❣️ A girl that likes to game it. Ayato loves video games as we all know, so a girl that’s into gaming is quite the turn on for him since he can play against or with her.

❣️ A girl that forces him to go to the mall with her. He’ll act likes he’s so annoyed, but realistically, he actually likes going shopping with his girl.

❣️ He carries all the bags, especially because yours truly has to “prove” his strength haha.

❣️ And if they go into Victoria’s Secret, it’s taking everything in him to not die. Remember, boobs are his weakness.

❣️ If his girl tries on new clothes and models them, he finds this hot.

❣️ A girl who’s always trying something new with her hair, especially if she’s into dying it new colors. Ayato’s really into this.

❣️ In fact, he’ll volunteer to dye her hair and claims he’ll do a better job than anyone.

❣️ But in the end it all goes to shit because he doesn’t know what he’s doing even tho he claims to.

❣️ A girl that’s into watching TV—horror movies specifically. He tries to act composed when he watches them with his girls, but fails.

❣️ Secretly likes a girl that strokes his head/hair while watching a movie—he just has to be absoltely sure that his brothers are not home because if they are, his ego goes out the window.

❣️ Likes a girl that cooks for him, and if they make kick-ass takoyaki, he’s never letting them go–no really.

❣️ Likes a girl who forces him to help her in the kitchen.

❣️ Is into a girl who babies him. He may act like he doesn’t like it, but secretly, he likes the coddling.

❣️ A girl he can show off his strength to, and be complimented for it. He’s all about being acknowledged.

❣️ Likes a girl that leaves him love notes in his locker.

❣️ A girl that’s willing to pass frivolous notes to him, especially if she’s inviting him to a heated session in the locker room.

❣️ A girl that likes being a strip tease or posing as a thirst trap, he can’t contain himself.

❣️ A girl who’s confident in every way.

❣️ A girl who’s dominating. Yes, Ayato is perceived as the dominant one, but tbh, he can’t handle it if a girl dominates him.

❣️ Likes a girl he can be the little spoon with. Sometimes it’s hard being “the best” or least making everyone think that, so Ayato prefers a girl he can let loose with.

❣️ A girl who allows him to pat her head or scruffle her hair playfully. He likes babying his girl so.

❣️ A girl who’s into taking showers with him in the locker rooms at school, especially after those sweaty practice sessions or basketball games.

❣️ Likes to surprise his girl by walking in naked after showering and giving them an adrenaline rush.

❣️ “What’s the matter babe? Is it that jaw-dropping?” He’d smirk.

❣️ “Shut up!”

❣️ A girl that likes being carried bridal style, he just loves holding his girl like this.

❣️ Even though he has bad memories of swimming because of certain purple-haired jezebel, he likes a girl who’s willing to go swimming in the lake by the manor with him, or in the manor’s indoor pool.

❣️ And you can bet he’ll challenge her to do fancy flips to jump into the pool or racing her from one side to the other.

❣️ Like Kanato, he's also into a girl that doesn't wear a bra to bed. He likes that his girl is in this raw state, and if she’s wearing something strappy or seethrough on her chest area, he’s really riled up because he likes the view.

- Subaru -

❣️ Growing up, Subaru honestly never thought about “caring” for anyone.

❣️ He grew up in a pretty tarnished household and was subjected to a lot of trauma because of it, so loving someone was definitely the last thing on his mind.

❣️ He probably always told himself that love wasn’t real and was something only found in fairytales, or it was only a “human” thing since vampires don’t hold human emotions.

❣️ Since he’s a loner, he’s always stayed at the back of things, in the shadows more specifically.

❣️ Despite this though, don’t think that this boy hasn’t caught the attention of a few women throughout the centuries.

❣️ I mean, you can’t tell me this boy is virgin considering the way he acts with Yui. He’s more of a fuckin perv that you’d imagine, just read the manga. He’s been around for centuries, there’s honestly no way.

❣️ He’d probably meet his girl at school.

❣️ Or, if we really wanna be dramatic, he’d probably meet his girl through having to save her in a dark alley from some drunk fucks who were harassing her.

❣️ He kinda follows the trope of “I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love with that person.”

❣️ Bear in mind that our bby car is kinda oblivious to his own feelings and will not admit them easily.

❣️ Anyways, with this, he’s into girls that entrance him without saying a word to him.

❣️ This literally drives him crazy since he can’t figure out why they’re constantly on his mind.

❣️ A girl that notices him and at least says hi to him if she sees him at school, it makes this undead vampire’s heart skip a beat.

❣️ A girl that wears flowy dresses or skirts that encompass her figure beautifully if she spins. This just takes his breath away.

❣️ Girls that wear their hair in cute, short styles, but he honestly doesn’t care. He likes long hair too.

❣️ Girls that are into taking car rides with him/cruising.

❣️ And if he gets her skirt to go up while going fast, he's all for it.

❣️ If she looks out his convertible while he's driving and catches a glimpse of her ass while she's leaning over, and if she's wearing shorts, you can best bet he'll clutch/smack her ass even if he's driving just to get a reaction out of her.

❣️ A girl that doesn't mind him keeping a garter of hers in the glove box of his car.

❣️ A girl who's into car sex—there's something about the small secluded space of a car that he just loves to get intimate in.

❣️ Girls who wear hairpins and barrettes—he really thinks girls look cute with them.

❣️ A girl that has to get on her tippy toes to kiss him. He likes the height difference and that she has to try that hard to be intimate with him.

❣️ It amuses him in all honesty and he'll definitely tease her about it, saying that she's needy and eager for him.

❣️ Girls that are into having their clothes ripped off when getting intimate—like, literally.

❣️ A girl who’s confident in both body and mind. He’s insecure so he admires a girl that thinks of herself in a positive way.

❣️ A girl that likes getting drunk with him and doing stupid shit together when wasted.

❣️ If it’s a full moon, he likes to play a game of trust with his s/o–that is, by having them jump from the roof of the mansion so he can catch them.

❣️ Since the asshole can fly, he’s able to catch his girl quite easily. He’d never let his girl hit the ground, but sometimes he likes to really scare them by catching them before almost hit the ground to give them a scare since he likes teasing them.

❣️ Fuckin’ ass-

❣️ Stargazing—Subaru likes watching stars with his girl. Mostly because he can be a bit intimate with her and kiss her here and there. So a girl that’s into this, he’s all for it.

❣️ Likes a girl that will listen to him talk about his coffin (this is canon!).

❣️ Is into a girl that doesn’t mind to have sex on the couch with the tv on.

❣️ Definitely likes girl that showers with him.

❣️ He likes to tease his girl by holding things above her head so she can't reach them. He also makes things out of reach on purpose and likes it when she jumps for them, to which he comments on her being small compared to him. So a girl who can tolerate his obnoxious behavior in this sense is something he treasures.

❣️ A girl that is ticklish, he loves hearing the sound of a girl laugh as it low-key turns him on. And with that, he begins to wonder what she sounds like in bed.

❣️ Like Kanato and Ayato, he’s into a girl that doesn't wear a bra to bed.

❣️ I wonder where this preference came from? Karl maybe lmao. xDD

❣️ A girl that initiates kisses. Remember, he likes a girl who’s confident so yeah.

❣️ Is into girl he could tease to no end. He literally lives her reactions.

❣️ A girl that surprises him every once in a while with her dominance.

❣️ A first, he’ll act like he doesn’t like it, but secretly, he’s living for it. And when he gets comfortable, his girl can be prepared to be under his touch every five minutes.

❣️ Fuck I wanna be that girl jk ahaha!

❣️ A girl that doesn't mind sleeping in his coffin with him

❣️ Afterall, it’s one of his favorite places to have sex.

❣️ Is into stealing a kiss from his girl or placing one on her forehead while she’s sleeping in hopes that she don’t wake up. So a girl that figures this out, but doesn’t give him a hard time about it is something he likes.

❣️ Enjoys being in the rose garden alone with his girl where he can either drink her blood or share sweet kisses with her. So if she’s into this, he’s hooked.

❣️ It’s rare, but Subaru’s more romantic than most think. He’s into giving his girl a rose, most likely from the mansion’s garden, but this is not often. And if she accepts it, it’s more than enough for him to blush like an idiot.

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softshrimpy · 1 year

Text

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Chapter 1/?: Step 1- Shameless Flirting

Summary: Working at the weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-worked. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came it Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

I’m just in love with Larissa Weems and a silly bitch. I hope you enjoy ✨🦐

Chapter 2

Cross posted to AO3 Here

HTWAHP Masterlist

——————————————————————————

“Just because I like older women does not mean I’m a homewrecker.”

“Huh, interesting.”

“You’re telling me you’ve known me for three months now and this whole time you thought I was out here waiting to ruin a marriage?”

“In my defence-“

“I can’t believe this, I thought we were friends Kingston. Now I have to rethink everything.” You sighed, dramatically.

“You’re the most dramatic person I’ve ever met.” He chuckles.

You slap him with your cloth, scoffing at his comment before going back to cleaning the coffee machine.

You had been in Jericho for a total of three and a half months. It was a quaint little town, a bit hyper-focused on their pilgrim ancestry but not the worst small town you’d experienced. You had been working at the Weathervane since you’d arrived, enjoying the routine it provided and the socializing. That was where you had met James Kingston (A British man disguised as a regular person in your professional opinion. I mean what kind of name is James Kingston anyway?). The two of you had become fast friends, partly due to the work you did and partly because he found you hilarious and you found him tolerable. (this is a lie, you love him dearly.)

Working as a barista meant you got to know most of the residents of Jericho quite quickly. Some you found infinitely more interesting than others.

“Oh look its your lady crush.” James comments, wheezing when you whip around from what you were doing to stare out the window.

“Shut up, I just- I respect a woman in power that’s all.”

“Oh I’m sure its all respect in that filthy brain of yours when you think of her.”

“Fuck off.” You laughed, hurrying to the register when you saw her coming through the door.

“Good morning miss Weems.” You greeted, doing your best to shut your heart up and give her a relatively normal smile.

“How many times have I told you to call me Larissa darling.” She smiles, much to the chagrin of your heart-calming plans.

“She’s a bit slow this one.” James jokes, earning him a swift kick on the shin.

“Your usual, Larissa?” You ask.

She nods, chuckling at the two of you before moving to sit at one of the booths. Larissa came around often enough, usually in the mornings, you assumed before the academy day officially started. Sometimes she’d come around after dropping one of the students at Dr Kinbotts. You lived for the times she stopped by, almost always kicking James off the register if he was stationed there just to talk to her. So yes, you had a massive crush on the woman. But honestly? Who could blame you? She was a goddess among you mere mortals and you were simply relishing in her heavenly presence when you could.

Christ, you were a useless gay.

You finished making her usual, quickly doodling a small flower next to her name before taking it to her. You place it down on the table with a flourish, bowing dramatically.

“Your coffee my fair lady.”

She chuckles, shaking her head at your antics before standing, coffee in hand.

“Thank you, y/n. You always make my mornings delightful.” She hums, squeezing your arm as she leaves.

You watch as she goes, a dreamy smile on your face, before proudly strutting back behind the counter. James giggles at you earning him yet another smack with the towel.

The rest of your day is pretty mundane. Dr Kinbott stops by at around 12 for her usual. The sheriff comes around and gets an Americano to go (You suspect he’s actually just checking on Tyler.) Throughout the day you’re giddy thanks to Larissa. You often find yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to see her more often. You think perhaps you might actually implode if she were to ever have more than a two-minute conversation with you. You finish up the day with Tyler, letting him leave before closing up. All in all, a regular day in Jericho.

You were working your regular Saturday shift when Larissa arrived, looking rather upset. She placed her order and sat down at a booth, pulling out her laptop and getting to work. You made sure to put a little extra sugar in her coffee and grabbed one of the choc chip cookies before bringing it to her. You placed it down on her table, earning a mumbled thanks as she picked up the coffee. It took her a moment to notice the cookie, but when she did she glanced up at you questioningly.

“It’s on the house. You look like you’re having a shitty day so I thought you could use a little something to make your day a bit better.” You smiled, clasping your hands behind your back.

“You really are too kind to me,” she mumbled, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Pffft, Nah. You deserve it.” You brushed her off. You took a moment before speaking again. “I know we don’t know each other that well but uh if you want to talk I’m here. And I can give brilliant commentary, no advice though, I’d probably encourage murder or something equally illegal.”

She laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. You think her laugh might be one of your favourite sounds.

“That’s very sweet, but aren’t you busy with your work?” she asks.

At that, you throw your apron off and over your shoulder and sit down across from her.

“Galpin’s pretty competent, plus he owes me one anyway. So spill.”

She considers you for a moment, before heaving a sigh.

“The academy is receiving a new student next week.” She starts. “Which under usual circumstances would be fantastic, however, this student happens to be the daughter of… an ex-paramour of mine.” She mumbles, almost drawing in on herself.

“Did they do something awful that made you break up with them?” you ask.

“No actually, uh she broke up with me…for the man that is now her husband.”

You stare at her for a moment, mouth agape.

“You’re telling me someone chose to walk away from you? But you’re- I mean you’re gorgeous and smart and- was she blind?? Was she dumb?? I mean obviously, she was but… what.”

She chuckles at your outburst, cheeks flushing slightly.

“Yes, well, they seem very happy together. And I’m sure she’ll rub that in my face in some offhand way. And she’ll make jokes about me marrying my job because ‘no one else would want me’ which I-I mean it’s not- that’s not why I’m so devoted to the school!”

“She sounds like a bitch.” You comment, “I can throw hot coffee at her if that’ll make you feel better?”

“You’re very sweet but that’s assault darling.”

“I’d literally kill a man for you no questions asked, assault is nothing.”

She chuckles, swatting at your arm before sighing again and dropping her head into her hands.

“Well, look, I don’t know who your ex is, the stupid bitch, but you have become a talented, successful, absolutely gorgeous woman. So, no matter what happened between you or what she does whenever you see her, know that she’s just a jealous, silly old hag who could never be half as brilliant as you are.”

She stares at you at that, her eyes bright. You wait for her to say something, feeling yourself get more nervous the longer she stays silent. You play with your fingers, thinking perhaps you went too far and have now fucked any and all chances of having even a friendship with this gorgeous woman.

You stand up, pull your apron back on and do your best not to overthink every word you’ve said.

“Uhm, sorry, have-have a great day Larissa.” You mumble turning to walk away.

Suddenly she grabs your wrist, stopping you and turning you around. She stands up, towering over you. She looks down at you, a dazzling smile on her face. And then, by the gods, she bends down and presses a kiss to your cheek, and hot fucking damn you almost spontaneously combust on the spot. You stare up at her, awestruck and definitely blushing madly.

“Thank you, y/n” she smiles. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

And with that, she squeezes your wrist, giving you a dazzling smile and leasing the coffee shop. You watch after her like a lovesick puppy, heart racing.

You’re absolutely whipped for this woman.

Larissa didn’t come around for the next few days. But you knew she was a busy woman, she had things to do. You definitely weren’t considering changing your name and fleeing the country thinking she now didn’t want to see your face again after what you said and her thanking you was just because she felt awkward. Definitely not.

You found yourself glancing out the window every five minutes or perking up whenever the bell above the door would ring, only to deflate when it wasn’t Larissa walking in. You were busy wiping down one of the tables when James appeared at your side.

“My bestie in Christ, you know I love you, but you currently look like an abandoned puppy.”

“I do not,” you scoff.

“Sure, sure... Oh hey, Larissa!”

You whip around faster than you’ve ever moved in your life, coming face to face with an empty doorway. You scowl as you hear James wheeze next to you.

“Don’t forget we work with hot coffee. And accidents happen, Kingston.”

He laughs at your threat, patting your shoulder as he heads back to the counter. You continue working for a while before James pipes up again.

“Oh damn. Good morning miss Weems.”

“That’s it, give me the boiling water I’m giving you the wicked witch of the west treatment.”

“Now why would you be burning your friend at the mention of my name?” a velvet voice speaks from behind you.

You spin around on the spot, gaping at the woman behind you. There she stands, all tall and gorgeous and dreamy. You feel yourself blushing as you try to stand straighter and lean on the table you were cleaning. Unfortunately, you did such a great job that you slip and all but fall on your ass. You’re tempted once again to throw boiling water on James as he cackles at you. Larissa, the kind goddess she is, rushes over and offers you a hand.

When she pulls you up you realize you greatly underestimated how close she would be as you’re now toe to toe with her, staring up at her, cheeks aflame. She smiles down at you, her hand still holding yours as her other arm settles on your waist. You’re barely breathing at this point and then she has the audacity to flash you the cutest smile.

You take your chance to take her in up close, knowing you’ll probably never get this close to the goddess ever again. You notice the crow’s feet at the edge of her eyes and the slight bags under them she tried to hide with makeup. You also notice she smells absolutely fucking divine, you can’t quite pinpoint what it is but it suits her so well. You know you’re staring and you should stop, but you can’t help it.

“You should be more careful, sweetheart.” She murmurs, her eyes sparkling. “I wouldn’t want my favourite barista getting hurt.”

You’re still gaping at her, your brain turned to mush at the way she spoke, low and velvety. You open your mouth to speak but can’t seem to find anything clever to say, for once. Something she takes full advantage of.

“What’s wrong darling? Cat got your tongue?” she whispers, and oh god is she getting closer? She looks closer.

You’re startled back into the waking world when James accidentally drops something, the loud clanging making you jump back from the woman in front of you, heart racing and body flushed. Larissa drops her hands from their hold on you, stepping back slightly. You internally whimper at the loss of her touch and then immediately internally scold yourself for being so uselessly gay.

“So uh, how-how has everything been? I haven’t uh seen you around lately.” You commented, sliding behind the counter and getting started on her drink.

“It’s certainly been an eventful few days, to say the least.“ she sighed, leaning onto the counter.

“Well, you were dearly missed at our humble café.” You remark, placing her drink in front of her.

She chuckles at that taking a sip of her drink before letting out a relaxed sigh.

“God I could’ve used this yesterday.”

“The drink or my riveting conversation?” you joke.

“Perhaps both.” She hums.

“Well, I mean we could always deliver to your office on the days you can’t get here.” James offers, grinning at you.

“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble-” Larissa starts.

“It wouldn’t be any trouble at all. Isn’t that right?” he comments elbowing you suggestively.

“Oh! No of course it would- I would be honoured- I mean it would be my pleasure Larissa really.” You manage, giddy at the prospect of delivering her coffee every day.

“Really you don’t have to go through any extra fuss for me we have coffee at Nevermore so I-“

“You’re worth the fuss though.” You say, and then immediately want to shoot yourself for speaking aloud.

Silence falls between the three of you, Larissa looking shocked, James at a loss and you mentally preparing what to put on your tombstone. It’s a while before Larissa speaks.

“Well, when you put it like that how can I say no hm?”

“So, I get to deliver you coffee every day?” you grin, tapping the counter a few times in excitement.

“If that’s what you want, sweetheart. You can bring it to my office, I’ll expect you before nine.” She hums, turning to leave.

“Yes ma’am! I won’t let you down” you respond, giving her a mock salute.

She chuckles, waving at you and waits a fucking second did she just fucking wink at you?? Oh, Jesus on skates your life just keeps getting better and better. As soon as she’s outside and gone from view you all but squeal, throwing yourself at James.

#wlw #larissa weems #principal weems #wednesday #larissa weems x reader #principal weems x reader #larissa weems x you #HTWAHP

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