#I want to be anywhere and any time other than right now !!! I keep smoking and drinking and trying to run away but it’s still fucking
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I want a house or shed or general space where I can smoke weed and cigarettes inside and burn incense and spend all my time an arms length away from an ashtray and I want it now !!!!!
#me vs imagining myself smoking a joint or a cigarette while in a bathtub reading a philosophy book#truly in my head I am a cringe fail self help book reading person who never changes anything about themselves and its kind of haunting me#why can’t I change why am I stuck in these cycles forever am I unfixable who will I be and how will I change once I grow up and move out !!!#wahhhhhhh growing and changing and crying it’s another summer and the sun is setting and this is the first summer where my dad is dead and#I feel like hyperventilating or sobbing or smoking a cigarette in a motel bathroom six states over and sobbing on the highway years from now#I want to be anywhere and any time other than right now !!! I keep smoking and drinking and trying to run away but it’s still fucking#chasing me I can’t escape it I can’t get away from my mind AHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!#BIG FEELINGS !!!!!
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smoke sesh
pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader
warnings: use of marijuana, awkwardness, making out, not proofread
summary: you decide it’s finally time to smoke weed. you’re inexperienced, but maybe your dealer, chris, can guide you through it.
a nervous pit began to form in y/n's stomach as she paced around her bedroom. for the first time in a while, she was expecting a guest.
y/n's personal life was rough at the moment. she just moved out of her parents' house to live on her own, she was struggling to find what she wanted to do with her life, and, on top of it all, her love life was going terribly.
she tried it all — dating apps, clubs, frat parties, coffee shops — y/n couldn't seem to find love anywhere. her friends even tried to set her up, but all of her dates ended the same: y/n either had no interest in the men she was set up with or got horribly mistreated by them. all that y/n had been dreaming of recently was a hot guy who also happened to not be an asshole, but that seemed to be a rarity these days.
overall, y/n had been down in the dumps and was in desperate need of a pick-me-up. that was when she remembered her best friend recommending a soothing solution.
...
"seriously, it just makes you feel... better," y/f/n explained, sitting next to y/n on her bed.
"i don't know. it just makes me nervous, i guess, losing control." y/n said to her friend. "like i want to be in full control of my brain and my body at all times."
"you are in control. you're just less scared," y/f/n smiled at y/n. "y'know, i think you would really benefit from smoking weed."
y/n scoffed. she was an adult now, and she had never tried any substances before. she wasn't against recreational drugs, she just never had the urge to partake in them. "yeah right. as if you'd catch me casually with a blunt in hand."
y/f/n giggled at the image of her friend smoking. "yeah. but you would be a lot less stressed. if you ever change your mind, i have a dealer, just saying…"
y/n rolled her eyes. "yeah. I'll keep you posted."
...
and now here y/n was, in the middle of the night, chewing on her fingernails as she waited for a response from the man whose snapchat she'd gotten from her friend the other day.
y/n's phone pinged and she immediately brought the screen to her face to read the notification.
chris sturniolo
yeah i can be there soon
y/n's heart raced in anticipation. surprisingly, she was more excited than nervous. she'd been so tense, she was looking forward to anything that could take the edge off. y/n hearted the message and made her way to the kitchen so she could wait closer to the door.
y/n didn't really know what to expect for the interaction she was about to have. she assumed that it would just be like any other transaction: he'd show her the options, she'd pay him, and that would be that.
but as she waited, y/n grew more nervous about the purchase. she quickly pulled out her phone to google "what happens when you buy weed from a guy on snapchat", before she caught a glimpse of a certain notification.
chris sturniolo sent you a snap
y/n curiously clicked the notification, opening to a picture of chris in the driver's seat of his car, taken from his lap. he face hung over the camera but his blue eyes were focused on the road in front of him. his soft brown hair stuck out slightly under the grey beanie he was wearing, and a silver chain dangled from his neck.
y/n was left in awe. she didn't really know what she expected him to look like, but it was definitely not that. this guy looked good, the kind of look that made y/n's cheeks heat up from just one picture. y/n was only more anxious about the whole situation now that she knew a really cute guy was involved. before she even had time to process the whole thing, another notification pops up at the top of her screen.
chris sturniolo is typing...
y/n hesitated for a second before opening her chats with chris. he had only sent one word.
chris sturniolo
here
y/n silently cursed herself for her impulsiveness in inviting chris over. she was way too eager, and now everything was becoming way too real. soon enough y/n could hear footsteps outside her door, and three rapid knocks echoed in her ears. she apprehensively made her way to the door, opening it to reveal chris standing there with a backpack slung over one shoulder.
"hey."
"hi," y/n replied awkwardly, cracking her door farther open. chris took this as an invitation to step inside, and he walked in and glanced around the area.
"nice place." chris mumbled, making his way over to y/n's kitchen without any instruction. y/n just watched him as she locked her front door, unsure of what to do. chris took off his backpack and set it on the counter, beginning to take out various plastic baggies and laying them out.
"so... how does this work?" y/n asked, slowly approaching chris in the kitchen as she watched him move.
"um, what do you mean?" chris's eyebrows furrowed, but he kept his attention on the task at hand. y/n remained silent, unsure of how to answer. chris stopped and looked up at her. "have you ever bought weed before?"
"no..." y/n replied meekly, slightly embarrassed. chris chuckled and shook his head.
"well... do you know what you want?" chris asked. he tilted his head at y/n as she approached the counter, letting her take a look at the different strains, labeled by sharpie on the baggies.
“what’s the best one, for um, beginners?” y/n squeaked out, nervous under chris’s gaze.
chris walked up behind y/n, and placed his hands on the counter on either side of her waist. y/n breath hitched in her throat as she felt chris's abdomen press lightly against her back. he looked over y/n's shoulder at the bags on the counter sighing.
"i mean, personally, i don't think the strain matters," chris explained casually picking up a bag and examining the bud inside. "but i guess since you haven't tried anything before, you could try a hybrid first."
y/n nodded absentmindedly, not really focusing on what chris was saying. she was more focused on how his bicep slightly flexed as he flipped the bag of weed around in his hand, and the faint smell of cologne that wafted past her nose as she moved. her eyes drifted to his fingers, fiddling with the bag's seal. chris noticed, a small smile forming on his face.
"wanna try it right now?" chris asked, snapping y/n out of her trance.
"what? oh! um, yeah," y/n mumbled, stepping away from chris to face him. "uh, how much?"
chris chuckled and shook his head. "it's okay. on the house."
"oh no, you don't have to-"
"it's your first time, enjoy it." chris interrupted, setting the bag down on the counter and reaching into his bag for supplies.
y/n watched silently, butterflies swarming in her stomach. she had never felt this way about a guy before, let alone a guy she had just met who also happened to be dealing her drugs. it was something about the way chris's black tank top hugged his torso and the way his jeans hung low around his hips, revealing the waistline of his boxers. chris had undeniable sexual appeal, and y/n just couldn't help herself from feeling flustered around him.
chris pulled a grinder, rolling papers, filters and an ashtray out of his backpack. y/n finally ripped her eyes away from chris to focus on what he was doing. he took a bit of the weed and ground it down, turning his head quickly to glance back at y/n. he caught her watching him and flashed her a grin before focusing again. y/n blushed profusely.
a few minutes of comfortable silence passed as chris tightly rolled two joints, gliding his tongue along the wrapping paper to seal them. y/n was mesmerized, both by the meticulous process and the fact that chris was the one doing it. chris set down the joints and backed up from the counter.
"have you ever smoked anything before?" chris asked curiously, watching y/n's face. he could sense that she was nervous, from the way she was fidgeting to the way her voice was barely audible with every response she gave. y/n bit her cheek as she looked into chris's eyes, shaking her nead slowly. "do you want me to.. smoke with you?"
"would you?" y/n seemed to have a weight lifted off of her shoulders as soon as chris asked. the reaction made chris smile.
"yeah, of course," chris chuckled, sticking his hand in his jeans pocket and fishing out an orange lighter. "you're gonna want a water bottle or something."
y/n nodded, walking around to the fridge, grabbing two water bottles. she walked back over to chris's side, handing him a water bottle. chris flipped it in his hand effortlessly, thanking her soflty and picking up the ashtray, joints, and lighter in his other hand.
"is there a window we could sit by? don't wanna leave your place smelling too bad." chris looked around for a place to sit.
"yeah, here," y/n replied, turning around and leading chris to her living room. where she sat on a small couch just below a window. chris sat down next to her leaning over to the wall and helping her push the window open. they sat back down on the couch and faced each other as chris set down an ashtray on the coffee table in front of them. y/n took a deep breath as chris took a joint in his left hand, holding it between his thumb and pointer as he held his lighter in his other hand.
"okay. so," chris began explaining, looking at y/n's face as he did. y/n's eyes flicked up to meet his, and the two maintained eye contact as chris talked through the process. "i'll take puff first, i guess, to show you how."
y/n nodded, watching as chris brought the joint in front of his face and light it, bringing it down the tray and tapping it before bringing it between his pink lips. his cheeks hollowed as he took a long inhale. he took the joint out fo his mouth and passed it to y/n, who shakily took it in between her fingertips. chris's eyebrows furrowed from the slight sting of the smoke he was holding in his lung, watching y/n's hands to make sure that the joint stayed lit. he tilted his head to the window to release the smoke from his mouth, blowing it out into the night air. y/n watched the whole thing, only growing more anxious.
"so you just wanna inhale with it in your mouth, lightly," chris spoke, nodding to give y/n the go-ahead. y/n brought the joint up to her lips, her hand trembling. she stuck the joint in her mouth and tightly wrapped her lips around it.
"like this?" y/n mumbled around the joint. chris chuckled and brought his own hand to y/n's wrist.
"here, relax," chris moved y/n's hand away from her face a bit. "open your mouth more. just rest it there, gentle."
chris's voice was quiet as he readjusted y/n's form. she watched him as his face leaned in closer to her own. "better. now inhale."
y/n inhaled softly, feeling the smoke travel through her body, her throat scratching a bit.
"once it kinda burns, stop and hold it in your lungs." y/n brought the joint down, handing it to chris and holding her breath. her face scrunched up as she felt a burning sensation in her chest begin to grow. out of reflex, she quickly turned to the window and coughed out smoke. chris's hand flew out to her back for support. "woah! you okay?"
"yeah, just—" y/n cut herself off by coughing. chris kept his hand on the small of y/n back as she coughed. he set the joint down in the tray and reached over to grab a water bottle from the table, unscrewing it and bringing it up to y/n's lips, she reached out and took the bottle, taking a sip to sooth the fire in her lungs.
"it's okay, deep breaths, you'll be okay." chris murmured affirmations as y/n worked through her cough attack. eventually, y/n calmed down and brought her hand up to wipe the few tears that pricked at the corner of her eyes.
"i'm sorry, i think i inhaled too long," y/n chuckled awkwardly, embarrassed at herself for coughing like that in front of chris. it was then that y/n became hyperaware of chris's hand on her back, causing her to blush.
"it's okay, it happens to everyone," chris grinned at y/n, finding her shyness endearing. "we'll take it slow. you feelin' anything yet?"
"nope," y/n smiled awkwardly, watching as chris effortlessly took another hit. chris handed the joint back to her, and she took a short puff, blowing the smoke out the window with a few coughs.
"better!" chris grinned, causing y/n to giggle.
"thanks," y/n mumbled, taking another sip of water. chris tapped the joint against the ashtray and bringing it to his mouth. "so, when did you start smoking?"
chris chuckled at the icebreaker, smoke spewing out of his mouth. the two of them fell into small talk as they shared the joint, growing more and more comfortable with each other as they lazily passed the weed back and forth. suddenly y/n felt a wave wash over her, and her sensed heightened. her body stiffened, and chris noticed, his eyes flicking over her face.
"you okay?" chris asked for a second time, lightly reaching out and grazing his fingertips against y/n's arm.
"yeah..." y/n spoke lowly, her eyes landing on chris's. something about chris seemed different now. his features were more prominent and detailed, and she was definetly even more drawn to him. without thinking, she reached out and touched chris's silver chain, fiddling with it in her fingers, the sensation feeling unique. "chris?"
"yeah?" chris's voice was just above a whisper, his eyes not leaving y/n's face. something about the way her delicate hands pulled at his necklace made his breath hitch. he found himself craving her touch, but pushed the thought away, blaming it on the marijuana in his system.
"i think it's hitting me." y/n looked back up at chris, her eyes flicking between his. chris swallowed.
"how's it feel?"
"feels like... i'm in a dream," y/n spoke absentmindedly, not breaking eye contact with chris. chris smiled and nodded at her explanation. y/n couldn't help but smile back. "you're really sweet, chris."
"is that suprising?" chris asked, a heat slowly rising to his cheek at the compliment.
"yeah, kinda," y/n whispered. chris's eyes flicked to y/n's lips as she spoke, and before he could stop himself, chris was asking y/n a question.
"can i kiss you?"
y/n's jaw fell slightly open at the question, completely taken off guard. chris's own eyes widened, and he quickly pulled himself away from y/n, his face quickly reddening. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that out loud, i mean, i want to, i mean—!"
with a sudden boost of confidence, y/n leaned closer to chris and looked up at chris through her eyelashes, leaving chris too flustered to keep defending himself. "please kiss me."
chris needed no further encouragement, his hands finding y/n's face and pulling her up to meet him. his eyes quickly flicked to y/n's before he leaned in and pressed his lips to y/n's. his lips were surprisingly soft, moving slowly against y/n's. chris's tongue slipped past his lips, and y/n opened her mouth, allowing him in. y/n's hands moved to chris's neck, one of her hands travelling under his beanie to grip at his hair.
chris kept one of his hands on y/n's cheek, letting the other one fall down to hold her waist. he spread his legs apart, pulling y/n towards him. y/n broke the kiss to yelp in surprise, sending the both of them into a giggling fit. warmth spread throughout y/n's body as she watched the way chris's eyes crinkled as he laughed, flashing his teeth. the image only made her smile more. y/n leaned into chris, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. chris wrapped his arms around y/n's frame without a second thought.
it was all too natural, the way chris leaned back into the couch with y/n in his arms, holding her softly. y/n hummed in content, her eyelids suddenly struggling to stay open as chris sighed underneath her.
"thanks chris," y/n mumbled lazily, letting her eyelids flutter shut as she sunk deeper into the warmth of his body.
chris hummed back, peering at the girl on his chest. he was shocked he had ended up in this position, but lord, he was not complaining. chris smiled to himself before letting his own red eyes fall shut. the drugs in chris and y/n's systems lulled them both to sleep, and they stayed like that for the rest of the night.
...
author's note: wow that felt LONG. i need to smoke after that one. let me know if u want a (potentially smutty)part 2. 😚 love u bye!
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#fanfic#sturniolo fanfic#x reader#au#help
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This was meant to be a drabble I swear 😭
Soap had always looked up to him. His captain, his boss, the man he trusted to have a clear head on his shoulders. Price was the one he could safely go to when he needed him.
But then John was captured and he was suddenly the captain of two new men. He wasn't cut out for it - he knew. How could he wrangle two masked men who were definitely wrapping themselves in each other's arms in the showers and kissing before bedtime?
Who was he to judge? He'd done the same years before. It got lonely on base constantly, and they were comfortable together. Mactavish knew the rules against it, but he never called them out.
He'd do anything to get Price back, to feel his hugs and gentler affection. He put so much effort into being just like him. Gruff, smoking cigars that he hated, drinking the gross alcohol in his desk, loud and a bit forceful.
It felt like it all for nothing when they finally found Price and he was so, so very different. That wasn't the man he looked up to anymore. The destruction he caused drove a wedge between him and Soap. Johnny was so eager to give the captain back his spot, not realizing how bad of an idea it was before it was too late.
The man he trusted with everything turned into a man that had lost his head. Soap didn't want that, he didn't want the rough words and the harsh touch. It was all different. For way worse.
The whole time he thought he wasn't as capable, but he had to be. If that's what his captain had turned into and still had wanted to trust him, maybe he was enough to actually be good... He had Roach and Ghost to worry about, after all. Price was only thinking for himself.
The old office was abandoned for his own room instead. Small but perfectly fine otherwise. He didn't want to see Price around. The paperwork he filed would put the man behind bars, hopefully for good of the courts worked in their favor and the favor of those he had hurt.
It was only a matter of time before Ghost and Roach had noticed his silence. The way he recoiled at Price's presence. The only right thing to really do was check on him, right? In his room like always these days. Unless it was mission planning, training, or keeping the peace between men, he didn't feel like he had to leave the space. It was safe.
But because Roach and Ghost were so good at messling in things that weren't really their business, they managed to get themselves comfortably tucked into Johnny's room for a chat.
"Captain," Ghost spoke, Roach just leaning onto his shoulder from the side. He didn't speak much, not that Mactavish minded. One less man to talk back.
"Ghost, Roach.." Johnny greeted, leaned back in his desk chair as he looked at them. Not the proper place for a serious conversation but there was a hardly anywhere else.
"You're hiding in your room, sir." Ghost pointed out the obvious, looking forward to the captain.
"At least ye can still see, Riley. Why're ye here?" Soap forced his voice to remain in an abrasive tone.
"it's been too quiet, sir. You're usually out with us." He replied.
"well, it's different now." Mactavish muttered, pinching his brow.
"come on, captain. You're acting like a bloody teenager..." Ghost sighed. "You haven't even met us at mess to eat for two weeks."
"As long as he is here, 'm not planning on it." Maybe a little overdramatic, but it felt very fair to him. Price was different, it felt just like a betrayal with more than his life at risk.
"Then we'll eat in here." Ghost decided, and did not let Soap argue. Even though he was the captain, he let Ghost shut him down. Maybe he needed it, some kind of closeness.
Ghost didn't let any argument stop him and Roach. Everyday for the next week, they all gathered up in Mactavish's room to eat. The looks they got were a little bothersome, but they didn't stop for that. Ghost pushed for them to do it.
The longer they stayed, some papers got put down on the ladder of important things, Ghost and Roach taking that place. The two kept climbing that ladder each day that passed. And as soon as Price was out of there, off his base, out of his team and behind bars, he was open again. Laughing, joking, pushing just for fun.
Johnny was him again. A Captain but one that didn't feel the need to keep Price's things. He didn't feel like he owed him anything. But he owed Roach and Ghost for getting him to laugh freely again. Hell, he owed them for getting him to feel something other than regret. Even the littlest of butterflies in his stomach when they'd talk about literally anything. It could be the saddest talk, and he'd still feel something tug at him, something make him want to lean closer and just listen.
Whenever Roach would talk, his heart with thud against his ribcage. Ghost's laugh would make him breathless. Fuck, what was happening to him? Getting all giddy about just hanging out with the men he knew were already together. It felt stupid, but when they both took off their masks, he felt so incredibly warm. It was a privilege to see their faces, things he never wanted to stop looking at.
It started happening more and more. In the privacy of Johnny's room, they'd take off the masks and just talk. Sometimes Mactavish couldn't help but stare. Jagged scars painted Ghost's face, he swore he never wanted to kiss something more. Roach's face was a little softer, freckles dotted along his nose and cheeks, his unkempt hair falling in his face from time to time. Ghost would brush it away, but Johnny imagined it was him doing it instead.
Fuck, what are they doing to him?
Neither would comment on his staring or the lovesick look on his face. But they'd smile knowingly at each other. Mactavish was sneaky in the field, but at home base, with the men he was growing to adore? No secret was hidden well.
It really didn't take long before Roach had somehow convinced Johnny to sit with them on the bed instead of across from them. It wasn't a big bed by any means, he didn't need one. Their knees and thighs pressed together in the tight space, similar to how they sat on transport to a mission location.
On rough days, he'd sit right between them and lean on Ghost's shoulder, only to have an arm wrap around him. All of them gross from training, or a shit mission, but they'd settle on the bed and relax for a little while.
The comfort, adoration and safety he felt with them was unlike what he felt with Price. This was warm, unforced, clean (dispite the dirt of the job). It wasn't rough with anger and a need for dependence on each side.
They all had their moments. Sometimes it would be Mactavish welcoming Roach into his arms after something went wrong. Other times he'd fall into one of their arms and let himself be comforted. He let them help without feeling like he owed anything in return. There was no 'i owe you's, nothing that would be hurtful in the long run.
Ghost and Roach welcomed him into their space, and let him rest with him. Resting their weary bodies on the same bed together. He was strong, but nothing compared to how warm it felt to accidentally fall asleep against them. Nothing felt like the butterflies that seemed to worsen every day.
None of them commented on how they could easily see Johnny actually relaxing around them. He put away his rough exterior just for a few minutes to themselves.
But every time he saw Ghost and Roach share a kiss, he wanted nothing more than to be in it too. He could be seeing what he wanted when he saw the way they didn't seem as at ease when Johnny wasn't at their sides too.
All parties wanted something more. They wanted Soap in with them. Sharing the more intimate affection and falling asleep together almost nightly.
Soap was caught off guard when he woke up in bed after a small nap and a kiss was pressed against his forehead. A thin mask between the skin and the lips. He practically blue screened. Ghost to his left, and Roach on Ghost's other side.
He didn't say anything, neither did Ghost. But he leaned gently against his side again regardless. It was soft, softer than he deserved. He could still feel the impression of the masked lips on his forehead for minutes after.
"hey..." Ghost whispered as he watched Johnny open his eyes.
"mmh.." Soap mumbled back, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
Interactions like that continued for a few days, Ghost and Roach getting closer with him. Slowly opening him up to minimal affection.
And then it happened. Comfortable in his room, working on a piece of paperwork when Roach and Ghost entered. Gentle hands found a place to settle on Soap's shoulders.
"Captain, take a break... We need to talk." The tone was gentle, serious but not firm. Still, his stomach dropped a little as he nodded. His pen stilled and he set it aside.
"Talk about..?" Mactavish prompted.
"About us?" Ghost breathed out.
"what 'us'?" Mactavish asked as if he didn't understand. He understood, probably too well.
"Me and Gary-" Ghost looked down at him, Soap not even looking up. "I- we.. we want you to be with us."
The captain paused. Be with them, meaning they both wanted to be with him... His stomach twisted in knots, but the butterflies still formed.
"We know the rules, but.. we want you anyway." Roach spoke from Ghost's side.
They want him regardless of if it was wrong, illegal or otherwise... They wanted him still, knowing it could be dangerous. Mactavish had taken bigger risks... Like putting his life in Price's hands before. Ghost and Roach were different, he didn't want to say no.
Slowly, Soap nodded. "Okay."
"..okay?" Ghost softly put pressure on the tensing muscles on Johnny's shoulder. "You have more words than that, captain." He teased.
"You want me, then have me." Maybe not great phrasing, but his head was going a mile a minute anyways. A captain of a deadly team and he couldn't even think before speaking.
There were two sighs of relief from behind him.
"We don't want to just have you, you'll have us, right?" Ghost asked, kneading gentle circles against Johnny's back. A display of affection.
"Any day, Si... I'd have ye both any day." Soap murmured, his head tilting back to see the creases of Ghost's eyes when he smiled. The red of Roach's unmasked cheeks.. Yeah, even without his thoughts straight, he wanted them... If the giddiness and the butterflies weren't enough to say that.
#is this a drabble?#no#was it supposed to be?#yes#call of duty#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#captain john soap mactavish#gary roach sanderson#ghostroachsoap#cod#cod mw2
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oh we NEED smth abt grumpy!masc!readers first time crying in front of julien
-🦧
imma write this one before i go to bed hehehe it is 1am but this is all i can think about rn RAHHH
‼️RPF‼️
BLURB - julien x masc grumpy reader - first time crying
- the first time reader cried in front of julien was actually during a fight 😭
- back and forth between each other for the past three days. what was the cause? they both don’t even remember. all they know is tensions were high in the house. any small thing would set them off into a screaming match
- it was about different things. right now julien was shouting at masc because they went out for a smoke (even after promising jb they wouldn’t smoke anymore) to cope with the stress and constant anxiety
- reader has been worried sick with anxiety for the past few days. obviously they won’t show it. worried julien might end up leaving and never coming back. or calling it quits.
- it was something reader worried about deep inside. about people abandoning them. getting too attached to people for them to end up leaving. it’s why they close their walls up and shove people away. a facade to stop getting close to people. yet julien was the one who managed to break the walls down just a tiny bit
- masc grumpy reader watching julien shout and point a finger. reader ignoring jb. not wanting to reply or fight. in their head thinking keeping silent would be better.
- yes it hurts and it’s tiring to fight with your partner but reader won’t stand there and be shouted at for having one cigarette
- julien just walking out of the room and stomping upstairs. reader hot on julien’s tail. anxiety and dread filling their stomach like “where the fuck are you going?” and julien’s in the bedroom taking a suitcase out of the wardrope like “if you’re not gonna listen to me then i’m leaving”
- reader standing there like “no- no you can’t” and julien’s like “idc” and at this point reader is standing at the door like with tears in their eyes trying to stop them from rolling down their face. you know with that lump in your throat you can’t talk or you’ll end up sobbing
- julien with her back faced reader, packing her shorts but hears this sniff and a small “please” and turning around and staring in shock at reader who’s curled in on themselves in the doorframe, eyes red and puffy as tears roll down their face, avoiding julien’s gaze
- julien who hasent seen reader ever cry or show well? emotions of sadness before is kinda just sat on the floor in shock. maybe she remembers and knows that masc grumpy reader has a hard time with people leaving / getting attached.
- julien standing up and rushing over to reader like “i’m sorry- it’s ok- i’m here” and just her heart breaking as reader collapses and breaks down, holding onto julien like it’s the only thing she has.
- reader who doesn’t initiate physical contact first other than a small hug or resting their hand on julien’s thigh. having them cry into her chest was something that HURT
- rubbing their back like “i’m not gonna go anywhere- i promise” and reader who holds into jbs shirt even tighter like “don’t go”
- bringing reader over to the bed, both lying down on it. the only time masc grumpy reader would ever be little spoon in this situation ngl
- reader tiring themselves out and end up passing out on julien’s chest. julien sat there with tears in her own eyes. it hurt to see reader crumble like this. promising to talk about it in the morning
(i’m open to turning this into a fic 👁️ if y’all want one. where first part i can expand on this ^^ more. getting more lore for masc grumpy reader)
#pom writes#orangutan anon the bestest#julien baker x reader#julien baker x masc!reader#julien baker headcanons#julien baker au#julien baker fanfic#julien baker angst#julien baker one shot#julien baker blurb#julien baker fluff#boygenius x reader#boygenius fanfic#boygenius au#boygenius one shot
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Far From Innocent - Part 2
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader
Word count: 2,874
Summary: Y/N's life is quite simple. She's engaged to be married in a few months, she has the easiest job at Vought American, and she stays out of the drama or away from rumors she's heard around the office. An encounter with Soldier Boy, Vought's most respected hero, quickly changes all of that and she soon realizes that there's more to life than what she's settled for. (Set in the 50s)
Warnings: Angst, swearing, degrading language, typical 1950s misogyny, sexual thoughts, thoughts of cheating, actual cheating, drinking, smoking, drug use, implied smut
A/N: I'm so glad y'all enjoyed the first part. Next one will be out in a few days. Happy reading and enjoy! beta'd by my darling @hintsofhoney
A few weeks had passed since Y/N had that brief glimpse into Soldier Boy’s private life. From that day she had done everything she could to avoid seeing him again. She kept her head down and distracted herself with as much work as possible, forwarding any request that had to do with him onto someone else. She had managed to keep to herself and be completely oblivious to what the supes got up to for the two years she had been working there, but suddenly since that moment, it wasn’t so easy anymore. The rumors she thought may not be true, now definitely were especially after what she had witnessed that day and since then.
She had tried so hard to not be anywhere in the vicinity of Soldier Boy, but a late night or two working at the office had their paths crossing. She had noticed him with Tek Knight and two women, trying to sneak into the building from the service elevator to his penthouse on one occasion. The other time he was chatting up a new female supe, one that Vought had been hoping to sign with, but Y/N hadn’t seen her again after that.
Despite it all, there was still an allure and mystery that she was intrigued by. She still found herself wanting to know more, wanting to do more, and do it all with him. She and Jim had tried to be intimate again, but he had of course fallen into the same problem and she was left to take care of herself once he fell asleep.
She wasn’t sure how much more of it she could take.
They hadn’t talked about it, and she wondered whether she should mention it to him, but she had a feeling that wouldn’t be the smartest idea. So she ignored it, pretended like everything was okay as they continued their lunch break tradition, went home together, spent weekends planning for the wedding and avoiding what she knew would be a touchy subject.
She also continued to ignore the forbidden desires she had been having about America’s greatest superhero, only allowing herself to think about those things at the hour of the lonely and dreaming.
“So, the country club is booked and I’m going for my suit fitting…”
Y/N drowned out Jim’s ramblings of the wedding as she continued to stock the coffee and tea cart with napkins, spoons, sugar packets and everything else she had been asked to do. They had been short staffed for the shoot and needed more people to help, so he convinced her and a few others to join. He didn’t tell her what it was for, and she didn’t really care. She just needed to avoid a run-in with Soldier Boy.
“Y/N?” he called out, waving his hand in front of her face and breaking her out of her reverie. “Did you hear me?”
“Yes,” she replied, clearing her throat. “Country club, suit fitting, it’s all settled.”
“And you’re going for your dress fitting with your mom this weekend, right?” he asked, taking her hand and making her face him.
“Yeah,” she sighed, mustering up a smile.
“Well, you better hide it before I come over on Saturday, ‘cause we don’t need any bad luck…” he whispered, leaning in and kissing her lips, softly.
Y/N hummed as she kissed him back, trying to pull away as she wasn’t a fan of public displays like that, but Jim cupped her cheek to keep her from moving. The sound of heavy footsteps reached her ears, causing her eyes to snap open just as a group of suits from advertising walked in, followed by hero management who flanked the star of today’s shoot, Soldier Boy. She pulled away from the kiss, watching as he marched past them, lighting a cigarette as he pushed through.
“S-Soldier Boy’s doing the commercial?” she asked, looking up at Jim.
“Yeah, who else would?” he remarked, shrugging his shoulders.
“You didn’t tell me that,” she murmured, frowning at him.
“So?” he questioned, confusion written on his face. “It’s not a big deal, sweetie. We just needed a couple people to help. He’s not even gonna notice you.”
That might be a good thing she thought to herself as she let out a heavy sigh.
“Don’t be nervous,” he told her, patting her shoulder before he walked away towards the supe.
“I’m not,” she whispered, rolling her eyes as she knew that was a lie.
Y/N stayed by the table as she continued to observe, her eyes never leaving the man in green and gold. He put out the cigarette as one of the assistants handed him the pack of Marlboro for the advert. He had the script in his other hand, throwing it at the assistant just as the director called for people to move out of the shot.
“And we’re rolling,” he announced, glancing behind him at the crew before turning back to Soldier Boy. “Whenever you’re ready, sir.”
Just as Soldier Boy lifted his head to look down the lens, he noticed someone standing further away near the food table. Y/N. He had wondered if he would ever see her around again, especially after he found her in his apartment, watching him. He saw as she stared back at him, her hands clutching nervously as the belt around her waist. His lips pulled up into a smirk, causing a sharp exhale to leave her, her gaze dropping to the floor just as he looked away from her into the camera.
Y/N looked down at her watch, hoping that in another few minutes they could dismiss her, and she could go back to her regular job. She needed to get away as fast as possible. She busied herself with making a pyramid out of the Styrofoam cups, briefly glancing up with every take that the director wanted. She smiled as Jim walked over, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he kissed her temple, nuzzling his nose into her hair.
“What do you say we sneak outta here and have some fun,” he mumbled into her ear.
“Actually, I think I’m gonna head back up and work,” she stated, shifting away from him.
“Hey, come on, we got some time to kill,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as he pulled her into his arms.
“Jimmy, I can’t,” she laughed, lightly as she looked up at him. “I have a lot to do-”
“It’s nothing that can’t wait,” he cut her off, pressing his lips to hers.
She squeaked as she pushed at his shoulders, ripping her mouth away from his as she frowned up at him. “It’s my job, Jimmy.”
“I know that-” he started but she had him gulping with the glare she gave him.
“Do you?” she countered, raising an eyebrow.
“Sweetie, let’s not do this here,” he lowered his voice, briefly glancing around to make sure no one was looking at him.
“Oh, but you only wanted to have sex here,” she hissed.
His eyes narrowed as he stared down at her, taking a firm grip of her forearm. “Keep your voice down.”
“Let go of me,” she growled, pulling herself out of his grasp.
With one last scowl, she stalked away from him and stood closer to some of the other employees, all busy with their work. She crossed her arms across her chest as she watched them redress the shot, before the director called action. She moved slowly, standing a few steps behind him, her eyes focused on the supe in front of the camera. Just as he reached the end of the lines, he took out a cigarette from the pack, placed it between his lips and lifted the lighter, lighting the tip. He took a drag, his gaze locking with hers as he did. He blew out a long puff of smoke, their eyes never leaving each other. She felt her thighs quiver, making her press them together in order to keep herself from falling.
“…old fashioned flavor in the new way to smoke,” he recited the end, smirking at the camera as he took another drag.
“Cut!” the director yelled. “That was great, sir. Let’s run it again-”
“Fuck this,” Soldier Boy growled, standing up from the stool so fast it tipped over. “Give me ten…”
“Sir, we should really just keep rolling,” one of the suits interjected, trying to stop him from leaving.
“No, we take ten,” he snapped, his green orbs glaring at the man in front of him. “We square?”
“Y-Yes,” the guy stuttered, a shaky nod accompanying his nervous speech.
“Can we get you anything, sir?” Jim asked, walking over as he saw the situation.
“Jack,” Soldier Boy briefly acknowledged him, dropping his focus and fixing his glove.
“It’s Jim, sir,” he corrected, but the polite smile on his face quickly dropped as the supe turned to him.
Soldier Boy’s face was void of expression, clearly unimpressed. “Whatever. Coffee, iced.”
“On it,” Jim declared, about to step away but he saw the supe had something else to add.
“And uh… have your girl over there deliver it,” Soldier Boy added, nodding towards Y/N as she handed coffees out to some of the employees. His eyes took her in, a small grin on his lips as he slapped Jim’s shoulder, not bothering to look at him. “Thanks, kid.”
Jim sighed deeply as he saw Soldier Boy walk away into one of the small rooms across from the setup. He turned back and spotted Y/N at the snack table, making his way over to her. She quickly glanced up at him before turning her attention back to making a fresh brew.
“Listen, uh… Soldier Boy wants you to bring him an iced coffee,” he explained, scratching the back of his neck. “But I can-”
“No, I’ll do it,” she said, staring up at him blankly. “It’s not like I have anything else to do, right?”
“Y/N,” he breathed, shaking his head but he never got the chance to say anything else.
She strutted away from Jim, nervous to be facing the man she had been having sinful thoughts about for the past few weeks, but relieved to be anywhere but near her fiancé for a few minutes.
Y/N knocked on the door as she took a deep breath, letting it out in a long exhale. She waited for a few seconds, before she rapped her knuckles on the wood again, not wanting a repeat situation of a few weeks ago. She wasn’t sure who could’ve walked into the room while she was out getting Soldier Boy his coffee. A rasped “come in” came from behind the door, and she turned the knob to enter, a sigh of relief leaving her to see him alone. He looked up at her as he wiped under his nose, wiping the surface of the table before he stood up, his signature smirk on his face as he walked around the desk in the small office and she walked over. His helmet was off and sitting on the table, his flippy locks on display and only adding to his charm.
“Here you go, sir,” she mumbled, not meeting his eyes as she handed him his drink.
His gaze never left her as he took a sip from the glass, closing his eyes with a low hum of approval. “Ah, that’s fucking swell. Thanks, sugar.”
“No problem,” she said, nodding slowly. She needed to leave immediately, because there was no way she could survive the way he was looking at her. “Well, I should get back-”
“To that fiancé of yours?” he asked, a pointed look on his face.
She lifted her head to meet his eyes, slightly surprised that he remembered that. She didn’t think someone of his stature would.
“Things seem a little… tense,” he added, leaning back against the desk. “I might’ve noticed.”
She huffed, shaking her head as she clasped her hands in front of her. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“Let me guess… you two did the horizontal tango and he popped it too quick, right?” he prodded, raising an eyebrow.
Her eyes widened as she gasped. She couldn’t speak, far too shocked at what he had just said. Her reaction was enough of an answer for him.
“Anything I can help with?” he asked, his words incredibly suggestive as he kept his intense gaze on her.
She felt her cheeks heat up as she stared back at him, but she tried to remain stoic. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. That-That’s never happened.”
“Oh, come on, doll,” he chuckled, the sound deep and husky as he placed the glass on the desk and looked back at her. “You can’t fucking pretend you didn’t like what you saw that morning. If your guy’s got a problem with his pecker, there’s no way you’re gettin’ what you need.”
She stood frozen in front of him, unable to use her voice to contradict him because she couldn’t. She couldn’t deny the truth.
Soldier Boy took advantage of her stillness, his hand reaching out and slipping a finger under the belt around her waist. He pulled on it, a gasp escaping her as her feet shifted against the carpet, her body instantly pressing into the hard wall of muscle, her hands on his broad shoulders. Their faces were inches apart, his green eyes boring into hers that were wide like saucers, a grin spreading as he caught them glance down at his plump lips.
“And I think we both know what you need,” he whispered, his voice low and gravelly as his breath brushed against her mouth.
A small whimper left her as she stared up at him, breathing heavily at their close proximity. This was the closest she had ever been to him, a brief thought of wanting to be even closer crossed her mind, but she quickly pushed it away.
“What?” she squeaked out.
He laughed lightly, taking in every feature of her face. “To finally act on all the slutty things you’ve been thinking about.”
She let out a shuddered breath as they continued to stare at each other, her eyes still showing a hint of uncertainty, very slowly giving way to a glimpse of confidence.
“Maybe,” she breathed, a small smile pulling at her lips.
“Why don’t we find out for sure,” he suggested, his hands slipping down to rest on her hips. “Tomorrow night.”
“I-I can’t,” she stuttered, shaking her head. She couldn’t do that to Jim.
“I think you can,” he interjected, a cocky grin on his face. “I think you will.”
Just as she opened her mouth, a sharp knock on the door broke them out of their lust-filled haze. Y/N jumped back a few steps, his hands slipping away from her sides as he glared up at their door.
“Sir! We’re ready for you!” a man’s voice yelled from the other side.
“All a bunch of fucking cock blockers,” he muttered under his breath as he picked up his drink.
Y/N brushed down the skirt of her grey dress, adjusting the belt back into place before she looked up at Soldier Boy. He held his helmet under his arm, his drink in the other as he walked over to the door, turning back to her with that smile that made her knees weak.
“9 o’clock, if you change your mind,” he instructed, opening the door. “You know where I’ll be…”
And with that suggestion, she was left alone in the room to contemplate everything he had said.
“Fuck,” she huffed out, placing her hands on her hips as her eyes snapped shut.
He knew what she needed and was willing to help her, but there was no way she could take him up on his offer. She was engaged to be married, and even with how much they had been fighting lately and their problems in the bedroom, she loved Jim. She couldn’t do that to him.
Stepping out of the small office, she walked past Soldier Boy as he got back to filming the commercial, looking around others to see where Jim was. She saw no sign of him, sighing heavily as she wondered if he was upset with her. She shouldn’t have been so annoyed with him. She heard voices down the hallway, her heels clacking against the floorboards as she went to investigate. Her lips spread into a smile as she saw her fiancé walk out of the storeroom, fixing his shirt back into his pants and adjusting his tie. She frowned in confusion, but her eyebrows suddenly pulled into her a scowl as a blonde woman came out behind him, reapplying her lipstick. She quickly recognized her as Brenda, an assistant in the advertising department.
Y/N turned on her heel and stalked away before either of them saw her fuming, making a quick beeline for the elevators. She was going back up to the 40th floor, to get back to the job she was actually paid to do, and to continue to think about Soldier Boy’s offer.
All she knew was that Jim just made her decision a lot easier.
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#Far From Innocent#Soldier Boy x Female!Reader#Soldier Boy x Female!Reader Series#Soldier Boy x Female!Reader Fanfiction#Soldier Boy x Reader#Soldier Boy Smut#Soldier Boy Series#Soldier Boy Fanfiction#Soldier Boy#Jensen Ackles#the boys tv#The Boys Smut#The Boys Fanfiction
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Ribbons & Ties (AO3 Link)
GEN, M/M
Terzo x Omega, Terzo & Family, Cardinal Marian is in there for like ten minutes
Tags: Domestic Fluff, Commitment, Rom Com Energy, There's a Wedding, Secondo is Papa Emeritus, Gift Giving, I can't have Fluff without some Angst sorry
For reasons beyond Terzo's understanding, he wants to give Omega a present for the ghoul's "birthday". It proves to be a lot more complicated than Terzo realizes.
Art by @kabukiaku used with permission
Chapter 1 Below the Cut! (We like Reblogs, Comments and Kudos omnomnom)
2006
I was an impossible case. No-one ever could reach me... But I think I can see in your face there's a lot you can teach me...So I wanna know what's the name of the game?
1
Papa Elect Terzo tried to look busy. He attempted a regal sigh, a pace. Killed time with what he hoped was a thoughtful, intelligent stare out his office window. He did everything possible to bide time while he collected his thoughts in a way that would hide his true intentions.
This was all about Omega.
He had called Cardinal Marian, Sister Imperator’s Personal Assistant not due to any sort of friendship or confidence. His brother Papa Emeritus Secondo barely considered him as human these days and with his wedding a week away he had bigger things to fuss about.
Terzo’s other two ghouls Earth and Alpha could not be trusted to answer honestly. And Brother Copia was, well…Copia.
So then that left Marian.
She was obligated by her job description to interact with him as he needed. For business purposes, of course.
And buying the right birthday present for Omega Ghoul was definitely a high stakes business venture as far as Papa Elect Terzo was concerned.
“Thank you for your time,” Terzo said, pressing his hands together and slightly bowing.
“Hey, anything to give me a break from planning my ex-partners’ wedding,” she replied with an indifferent shrug, although her eyes looked bleary. “How yinz doing on musical entertainment for that, by the way?”
“I have a few choir selections, and I have been working with Papa’s ghouls and my own on some light entertainment during the dinner. Copia has been fussing with finding the right wedding march on the organ for about six weeks now.” And Terzo had been locking his office doors to keep Copia from talking his ear off about it for about six weeks as well. “So…all coming together.”
“Great. Want to be perfect. For them.” She didn't sound too enthused. "But don't worry, I'm completely fine about it." Marian froze, then patted her sides. “Mind if I smoke?”
“Please don't, it gets into the curtains,” said Terzo.
Marian slumped in her chair slightly. “Ok, now you have to tell me the real reason I’m here.”
Terzo closed his eyes and collected himself. “I need some help picking out a gift. For a friend. I'm having trouble,” he said.
“Don’t you give people shit all the time? Flowers, erotic notes, pornographic photography, whatever…” Marian raised an eyebrow. “People talk. In the Dining Hall. A lot.”
Terzo winced and then gave her a defeated shrug. “This is em…different.”
At that Marian’s face immediately switched into a wicked grin. She leaned forward on his desk, hand on her chin with such force her biretta hat went crooked. “Why? Why is it different, huh?”
“Because…” And then Terzo threw her a haughty scowl. “I don’t need to tell you. You work for me, sorella. This is a business meeting. A consulation.”
“Fine, suit yourself.” She glanced at the clock. “But If I’m your employee you’ve got like ten minutes to spit it out before I leave for the day. So…what is it?”
“Omega…is an important friend to me. I want a gift that is…worthy of him.” Terzo started to pace again. “Something that is special, but ghouls are difficult to shop for! They don’t need to eat, or drink. Omega doesn’t seem to want to visit anywhere or do anything beyond whatever I want to do…”
“Well, isn’t he…basically you?”
“Yes but also, no.”
“And you’re psychically linked, right?” Marian thoughtlessly played with her pen, clicking it idly. “So, even if you wanted it to be a surprise, he’d already sort of know about it.”
“Cazzo, you see now why this would be so difficult?!”
Marian shrugged. “It’s the thought that counts, at the end of the day.”
“I know that,” Terzo snapped. It was definitely the thought that counted.
Except, he had never truly sincerely thought about someone else when giving a gift before. And that is what made his hands clammy and his mind race.
Terzo decided he needed to gift something really important. Something that reflected how much his heart pounded when Omega held him. Something that was big, essential, eternal. Just like his ghoul.
“A…a diamond! Yes.”
Marian smirked. “A diamond? For your very best friend?”
“Yes…” Terzo began weakly, but then remembered Marian's status as his minion. He frowned into her. “Yes, a diamond.”
“Whatever,” she replied, then opened her steno pad. “Although you know purchases over a certain amount I got to run through Treasury Director Brother Copia.”
“Then forget the diamond,” Terzo backpedaled.
Marian checked the clock on the wall again and snapped her notepad shut. “Ok, fine I've dated quite a few guitarists over the years and they like practical stuff. Like, for their instrument. How about um…a guitar strap, huh?”
“How about a guitar strap?” suggested Terzo.
Marian frowned. “What's his favorite color?”
“Erm—black.”
“Second favorite color?” Marian sighed.
“Violet, he likes violet!”
“Violet and black guitar strap, coming right up,” Marian intoned. “And look, you got ninety more seconds until I go home, is there anything else you need, your Eminence?”
“No, that would be all.” Terzo returned to staring out the window with an extra dramatic flourish of his black cardinal cassock. He took a breath, feeling his nerves start to settle as he heard the squeak of Cardinal Marian's chair as she exited. All of a sudden he had a thought. "Oh, and Marian?"
"Twenty seconds left, your Eminence." Marian's hand was already on the doorknob.
"You're certain he'll like that?"
Marian's brow furrowed, but then it seemed like a thought passed through her, and her expression softened. "Of course," she said, "Who wouldn't like a gift?"
My AO3 | Tumblr Fic List | My Terzo/Omega Fics
Chapter 2 here
#ghost fandom#the band ghost#ghost scenes from the void#terzomega#domestic december#fluff fic#papa emeritus iii#omega ghoul#ghost band fic#terzo x omega
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Mouse (John Shelby x Reader)
Mouse
John Shelby x Reader
Warnings: John is jealous
Summary: You work for John, but he never saw you outside of work until now.
You work for the Shelbys, more precisely for John, at the betting shop for months now. They hired you to take care of everything he doesn't have the time for. You check the numbers, organize the documents, and run small errands. It's easy and pays well. As much as you were afraid to work for the Peaky Blinders at the beginning, you feel glad you applied to the job. John doesn't make a big deal out of being your boss. If you have to leave earlier because of something, you can go, and if you feel sick, you don't have to worry about them firing you. They simply want you to do your job and keep your mouth shut about everything you may hear about business or anything else.
"Mouse?" John's voice breaks the silence as he steps into the shop. A cigarette hangs from his lips, and his face is still slightly pink because of the cold outside.
"Hey," you greet him, glancing up at him with a small smile before you turn back to the paper in front of you.
"I didn't know you came back already," he says, taking off his coat.
"Yeah," you nod. "My sister found a nanny for the kids."
You left Birmingham for a few days to take care of your sister's kids while she was out, searching for a job.
"And why are you so early?" He asks, stepping behind you to see what you are doing.
"To finish some things," you explain.
"Good," he hums. "You can give them to me when you are done, eh?"
"Sure," you nod, still writing. "Do you want some tea?" You ask him, turning back to look at him making his way to his office.
"Yes," he replies. "Thanks, Mouse."
You have a few calm hours before the others arrive. You check the books while John makes himself busy in his office. He sits at his table, and the tea is still steaming, mixing with the smoke of his cigarette. He looks up from his papers from time to time to watch you. You wear a simple green blouse with a black skirt. Your hair is pinned in a bun, leaving your neck free for his roaming eyes. You are pretty as always. One of the reasons he hired you was because he thought you were beautiful in that red dress you came for the interview. He had to promise Tommy he would fire you if you aren't good enough for the job, but fortunately, you are amazing. It's easy to work with you. You do your job without asking too many questions.
Soon, the bettings shop is filled with people, and hours pass by without your noticing. You have a lot to do since you weren't there for a few days, but at least it keeps you busy. You don't have time to be anxious about your date.
"Mouse?" He shouts out for you and smirks when you turn to him with a dissatisfied pout.
"Don't call me that!" You reply. "And what do you need?"
"The books," he replies, still grinning.
He started to call you mouse when you began working here, and he had to find out that you are a quiet one. You are really restrained and rather go to someone to talk than shout over the others. He finds it amusing since the betting shop is usually loud with yells and profanities.
Because you have a date.
You met a guy in London, you spent an evening with him, and he asked you out on a date, saying he will come to Birmingham just to see you. He was cute, and you said yes but mostly out of politeness and because your sister didn't leave you alone.
It has to be a chance that the Blinders won't be there, right? The city is big enough, and they can go anywhere!
So after your day ends at the betting shop, you go home to freshen up a bit before your date arrives to pick you up.
"Hey," you smile at him, adjusting your coat and accepting the bouquet of flowers. "Thank you."
"I thought you would like them," he says.
"So, do we have any plans?" You ask, looking up at him. He is tall and handsome. You really feel guilty because you don't plan anything serious with him.
"I don't really know this city," he confesses, looking around the ash and smoke-covered streets. "But I saw a pub on my way here."
You know what bup he is talking about, and you want to say no. No! No! No! But explaining why would be awkward and unreasonable, so you agree.
At first, everything goes amazing. You find a secluded table where you can talk to each other calmly. He is funny and easy-going. He asks about your family and job, and in return, he tells stories about his life. You feel really unfortunate that despite everything, you don't feel anything for him.
But it leaves you with John.
"Y/N?" You hear your name from Lizzie, and the blood freezes in your veins immediately.
"Lizzie," you greet her, trying to be as polite as possible.
"I didn't know you have a life outside of work," she teases.
"Now you know," you reply, praying she will leave soon enough. But of course, you are not lucky enough. She glances at the man in front of you and starts grinning.
"Oh," she gasps. "You are on a date!"
"I…" you want to disagree, but you stop at the last second. Yes, it's a date. Why do you want to deny it?
And the moment the door of the small nook bursts open, you know everything turns from bad to worse.
"Who is on a date?" John asks, but the teasing smirk disappears from his face the moment he sees you with another man.
You don't know why you feel so guilty all of sudden.
"Hey," you greet him, not knowing what else to say.
"I didn't know my little mouse had a date today," he says. Tension vibrates around him as he lits the cigarette between his lips. His steps are slow and threatening as he walks over to you while his brothers watch the whole scene at the entrance of their small nook.
"I didn't know I had to tell you," you snap back. "And I would appreciate it if you would leave us alone."
"See? I can't do that, sweetheart."
"Why?"
"How should I know this gentleman is worthy of you?" He asks, and there is something in his voice that makes you worry and angry at the same time.
"I can decide about it," you answer. "You can go."
"Nah," he shakes his head. "I should stay."
"John…" you start, but your date cuts in. The poor guy was quiet and confused the whole time.
"If the lady wants you to go, I think you should go, man."
"Yeah?" John smirks before his expression changes to serious. "I think you should go and fuck off till you can!"
Your heart jumps up to your throat as you stand up and put your hand on John's shoulder to stop him before he does something stupid.
"Stop it, John!"
"Do you think you can come here and steal our women, eh?" He asks, not even reacting to you. "You would do better if you would fuck off before I cut a smile on your fucking face!"
"Oh my god!" You gasp. "Do something!" You shout at his brothers, but they don't make a move. Tommy seems bored, and Arthur looks like he just waits for the opportunity to beat the shit out of somebody.
"Do you hear me?" John shouts.
"We should go," you look at your date, panicked.
"You stay!" John snaps, turning to you. "He goes if he knows what's good for him."
And with that, your date stands up, takes his coat, and leaves without another word. You should feel a bit offended since he gave up on you so easily, but you wanted nothing from him, and you are grateful he was smart enough to leave without a fight.
Snapping your head in his way, you are not sure you should leave him too or scream at him in anger. You decide on the first option. You grab your coat and bag, avoiding looking up from the floor as your skin burns with anger and embarrassment.
"You won't go after him!" He states, but you don't react until he grabs your arm and pulls you back.
"It's none of your business!" You snap, looking at him straight in the eyes. "You had no right to do this!"
"I have every right to keep you away from the Italians!"
"Oh, so you are racist now?" You scoff, still trying to free yourself from his grasp.
"It's nothing to do with it!"
"Sure," you hum, words dripping with sarcasm.
"He says the truth, Y/N," Tommy says when he has enough of the scene in front of the whole pub, even if they are mostly Peaky Blinders. "We don't have a good relationship with the Italians."
All of sudden, you feel mortified.
"Let me go," you whisper, too afraid that if you speak any louder, your voice will tremble. And seeing your state, John does. He watches you run out of the pub, not knowing what to do.
"Go after her," Lizzie orders him, rolling her eyes.
He catches up with you at the corner, grabbing you again to make you face him. Tears run down your cheeks, and your shoulders shake as you try to keep your crying at bay.
"What's wrong?" He asks. "Don't tell me you loved him."
"No," you shake your head. "I didn't even like him that much."
"Then what?"
"I told him I work for the Shelbys."
"So? You did nothing wrong."
"But the only reason somebody asks me out is to get closer to you?" You sniff, wiping your face. Your mascara is probably ruined.
You don't understand why you feel so devastated. You are just embarrassing yourself in front of your boss.
"I wanted to ask you out," he blurts out, mostly because it's true and because he doesn't know what to do with crying women.
"Oh, god," you laugh, without any humor in your voice, ready to turn around and go home. "I don't need your pity."
"It's not," he argues, grabbing you by your waist. "I didn't want to corner you at work, but I never see you anywhere else. I just didn't get a chance to do it."
As you calm down, a small smile creeps up on his face. You slowly but surely relax between his arms as you play with the collar of his shirt.
"Are you serious?"
"Like a fuckin' heart attack."
You still sniffle, and your eyes are red from crying, but John still thinks you are the prettiest thing he ever saw.
"So what do you say, eh?" He asks, pulling you closer until your whole body is pressed against him. "I will pick you up tomorrow morning, and we will go somewhere. We can go to London, or I know a place where we could have a picnic."
"I would like that," you nod, smiling.
"Whatever you want," he promises before a teasing smirk pulls on his lips. "Who thought my little mouse can yell like this, eh?"
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BEING FUNNY IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Warnings: smut, pretentious SATVB commentary, also SATVB spoilers.
read all other chapters here
Chapter 2– “I’m in love with you- I -I - I -I-“
As Amelia rounded the corner, peeking through the glass windows of the hotel lobby, she spotted a familiar head of hair and reflexively smiled to herself. She’d know these curls anywhere.
“Hey, you,” she called out to him as she walked in, Matty’s head turning around at the sound of her voice. “What’re you doing, awake, and…” she scanned his table, noticing the drink in front of him, “drinking — alone, apparently, at this hour?”
“Couldn’t sleep.” He shrugged, eyeing her from head to toe. “What about you? You look like you had a fun night.”
Amelia smiled, recalling tonight’s activities with a flutter in her stomach, “Yeah, I was out with-”
“Your boy-toy?” Matty’s tone was unintentionally critical.
She chuckled, throwing herself into the chair next to him. “He’s…not my boy-toy.” Her objection was weak and more amused than defensive.
“Well, whatever he is, he’s not a gentleman. What, he let you go home, alone, on your own, at 2 in the morning?” Matty scuffed, as if waving him off. “you want me to buy you a drink, by the way?”
“No, it’s okay, I’d rather share yours.” she reached for his glass, taking a sip. “For your information, he invited me to stay the night. Insisted, even. But I didn’t want to.”
“Is that right?”
“Staying over after sex….it just feels serious. This is not meant to be serious.”
“My, my, my!” Matty gestured dramatically, “How the tides have turned.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“I’ve taught you well.” He giggled despite himself. “Mousy, inexperienced Amelia is all grown up now.” He placed a hand on his heart, faking sentimentalism. “I could burst with pride.” He was bursting with something else.
She rolled her eyes, holding back a smile, “piss off.”
When Matty stretched his hand out to reclaim his drink from her, Amelia noticed the notepad, with various scraps of paper sticking out of it, that had been tucked underneath his forearms.
“What’s all this?” she pulled the notepad towards her side of the table.
“Oh, it’s not much. just been trying to write a new bit for the show.”
“Oh?”
“So, part of the plan for this tour is,” he took a big swig of his drink, “that I’d sort of- like- add or tweak it every now and then. You know, to keep things fresh and unexpected.”
She nodded along as he spoke, recalling a conversation they’d had when he first started planning the show. He’d talked about how important it was for him that the show be responding to the audience in real time. A way to get around the repetitiveness of the performance, and the idea of people seeing it online.
“And? What’d you come up with?” She flipped through the pages, reading his scribbles.
“Nothing. I can’t seem to come up with anything.
Brain feels…..both full and empty at the same time.”
She heard the tone of defeat in his voice and looked up at him, not saying anything. He offered her the remainder of his drink, which she accepted.
Matty watched her read his unfinished drafts and fragmented sentences. The words felt heavy in his mouth. He wanted to say them. To free himself. To finally let her know. His lips parted, ‘just say it,’he thought to himself. No words came out. ‘Just fuckin say it. Just tell her.’ He waited a moment, hoping the urge to confess would pass, but it didn’t. He needs to just get it over with. Worry about the consequences later. He’s a grown adult. He’s going to tell her how he feels.
“Amelia-“
“Do you have any cigarettes left on you? I’m in the mood for a smoke.” She didn’t seem to notice that she’d cut him off.
“Oh.” He uttered. The sinking feeling overwhelmed him.
“Well? Do you?”
“Do- I…what?”
“Have any cigs left? Matty, are you listening?” She blinked rapidly.
“Oh- oh, yeah. I do. I do have some left.” He struggled to come back to his body for a moment. Slowly, his hands felt around his pockets. “You wanna go outside for a smoke?” He eventually rose to his feet. “C’mon, let’s go.”
****
“So,” Matty looked at her as she blew the smoke into the cold air of the night. “You and your….boy-toy-“
“Joshua.”
“His name is Joshua?” A smirk twitched on his lips. “That’s a slutty name.”
She giggled, amused. “What the fuck’s a slutty name?”
“Joshua!”
“No, like, how can a name be slutty?” She threw her cigarette bud to the ground and stepped on it with the heel of her shoe. “Cold.” She mumbled. “Can I have a cuddle?”
Matty did not hesitate to throw his arm around her and pull her into his side, hiding her under his leather jacket.
She wrapped her arms around his torso. “You’re warm.” Sighing contentedly and already feeling his body heat spread to hers. “What is it about me and Joshua?” She suddenly recalled that he’d started to say something.
“You were saying earlier….you’re not serious.”
“We’re not.” She rested her cheek against his body. “Plus, we’re leaving for the east coast soon anyway, right?”
Matty nodded.
“Yeah, so I won’t see him again after that.”
He remained silent for a while, taking her words in. He couldn’t help but be delighted. Should he try again tell her now? Should he wait until Joshua is old news first? What would she prefer, if she could choose? How can he make this perfect for her? “You’re freezing. Let’s go upstairs, yeah?”
“What a fine idea.”
***
“You’re exhausted, aren’t you?” Amelia sat next to him on the bed and reached out her hand to stroke his cheek.
He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. He felt the cold metal of the rings on her fingers against his face and the scent of cigarettes lingered on her skin. “You’ve been asking me that every time you’ve seen me.”
“When's the last time that you had a full nights sleep?” She asked, her tone suggesting that she already knew the answer.
“What’s a full nights sleep?” He quipped.
With her face so close to his, Matty’s eyes studied her features, admiring her beauty. Her pretty eyes, the smudged, faded lipstick on her lips. He thought about how the smudge had happened. How, earlier in the night, her lips might have looked different. He hadn’t caught her before she’d gone out to meet Joshua. But he imagined the color sitting perfectly within the lining of her lips. Until another man’s lips had kissed hers. A man that wasn’t him. Had she let him touch her the way that she let Matty so often do? Had his fingers traced her skin? Had he made her feel good? Was she wet for him before he’d even undressed her? Did he make her weak? Had he heard her whine and beg? Had she been vulnerable for him? Did Joshua know that she preferred it when a little pain was delivered with her pleasure? A slight tug on her hair. An ever so slightly rough squeeze of her neck…had he learned her body? Had his name died on her lips, interrupted by her moan as she’d cum for him? Would Matty taste the remnants of someone else on her lips if he could kiss her now? Was it all the same? Just sex? Just pleasure, regardless of the source?
Did Joshua know how she liked her head scratched afterwards? Were they intimate enough for him to notice how shy she gets after the orgasmic high subsides and she feels naked and exposed? Does he rush to cover her up and shower her with praise as he had done, countless times before.
Amelia watched the darkness creep onto Matty’s face, as if suddenly visited by a waking nightmare.
“Matty, are you alright?”
Her gentle voice calmed his racing mind, pulling his thoughts away. He nodded. “Y-yeah.”
“You’re worried about the show, aren’t you?”
The show. Sure, that’s what he’s worried about. She’s not entirely wrong. The future of the tour weighed heavily on his shoulders. Not at this exact moment, though. “Yeah- the…show.” He mumbled.
She kicked off her shoes, climbing into his bed and making herself comfortable. Matty’s body ached for her.
“C’mon.” She patted the empty space next to her, urging him to join.
They each laid on their sides, facing each other, noses almost touching.
“So, tell me what you have in mind.” She smiled and his heart skipped a beat.
“Tell you what?”
“Isn’t that why you’re paying me? To help stage the show?”
“Right…yeah. The show! Yes! Of course…well, erm.” He cleared his throat. “I think we keep the naked body double—“
“Peanut. He has a name! Please.”
Matty laughed.
“How’d you like it if we all started referring to you as the clothed body double?”
“Fair argument….alright. So, I think we keep the Peanut bit. It’s kinda dramatic enough on its own. And it’s open-ended enough for me to, like, improvise as I go, you know? Like I don’t have to do the exact same bit every night. I can pretty much engage with it-“
“Him.”
“Engage with him in any way I like. Depending on what I’m in the mood for.”
She nodded. “Yeah, that’s true….I like that. It’s clever. So, what’s the problem then?”
“The problem is the other bit. The weight lifting and smoking and stuff.”
“Okay…” she was quiet for a moment. Matty found himself getting lost in her eyes, his heart beating to the rhythm of her blinking. “Well, let me ask you this: what’d you write it about?”
“Well it’s commentary on the old show, right? The raw meat eating ‘I’m a man’ stuff. But it’s also….a healthier version of that. So, it’s double edged like that.”
She nodded.
“I guess it’s just….well, part of the criticism that I’m meant to be responding to is that I took the performance bit too far, right?”
“Mhm.”
“I don’t think I’m addressing that adequately by shirtlessly lifting weights.”
Matty watched Amelia frown, deep in thought. She shuffled spring in bed, sitting up and propping up the pillow behind her back to rest against the headboard. His eyebrows shot up to keep track of her. He shifted to lay on his back and felt small next to her.
“Have you thought about reflecting the inadequacy of your response within the response itself?” She spoke after giving it some thought. “Like saying something to the audience about it even as you’re doing it?”
“Like commenting on the commentary?” Matty asked. “That’s meta.” He giggled. “Very matty-coded. I like it.”
She chuckled “matty-coded? God, you’re hot.”
“I am? I mean, yeah, I am, but-“
“I hate that I have a thing for men with big brains it’s so cliche.” She bristled, judging herself.
“I DO have a big brain, you’re right.”
“Get your head out of the gutter. I was actually referring to your brain, nothing else.”
“Oh. What a shame.”
“Don’t say it.” She commanded, looking down at him knowingly.
“I have literally said nothing.”
“I know you. You’re thinking about making a joke about how you have two heads. One up here, and one down there.”
Matty giggled, rolling his eyes. “I was not thinking about that.” He was. He so was. And he found it attractive that she could read him that well.
“Does it bother you that people thought you took the performance bit too far?”
Matty was taken aback by the question. Perhaps it was the abrupt change of subject, or just the fact that he was sleep deprived, and perpetually on the verge of telling her how he feels, but he felt a mix of emotions bubble to the surface. He remained quiet for a long time, contemplating his answer. The longer he thought about it, the more emotional he became.
“I’d love to say ‘no’ but yeah. Yes it bothers me.” He sighed loudly. “It didn’t at first. And to be fair, not all criticisms are valid. There are some objectively stupid tales.” He kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he spoke. “And those don’t bother me. I just— I expect Twitter to have something to say no matter what I do or say. That’s sort of a— an occupational hazard at this point. I guess what bothers me most is….people thinking that I did any of it maliciously, you know?”
She heard a faint strain in his voice and sensed that she’d hit a sore spot. “Matty—“
“Like some actually think that I set out to do this with the intention of hurting people.” He exhaled, blinking rapidly to keep from crying. “The concept of punching down in comedy….it’s just….it’s not great. And- I guess you could argue that - I did do that. To some extent?”
“Yeah, and you’re not a comedian. So there’s not really that context either.”
“I disagree.” The statement echoed for a long moment. “I do. I really disagree with you about that.” A few stray tears managed to roll down his face but he ignored them and carried on. “ I don’t think I’m a comedian like in a professional comic kind of way. I’m not like….fuckin Bo Burnham. But I think I’ve set up the persona as a bit of a jokester. Or at least I thought I had. I guess it came out of nowhere for some people.”
“It came off stage.” She corrected him.
“Right. But- metaphorically speaking everything’s a stage.” He gestured vaguely with his hands. “Well, you know what I mean. You’ve heard me say this before. About…..like social media being a performance and all that.” He shrugged. “Anyway, and then- then all that other shit happened and….I guess I’m public enemy number one now.”
“I’m so sorry-“
“It’s fine. It’s whatever.”
“Don’t say that-“
“No, no. I mean it. It’s fine. Like, this isn’t about feeling sorry for myself. I don’t ever want the show to become that.”
Amelia looked him straight in the eyes. “The show doesn’t have to become about that. But you’re allowed to feel however you feel.”
“It’s….I just need to man up and deal with it.” He shifted back to lay on his side again, his arms reaching upwards and wrapping around her, he buried his face into her waist, letting the rest of his tears flow.
***
Matty awoke in a panic. Suddenly jolting in bed and looking around him through squinted eyes as he sat up. “What happened?” He mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep. He noticed that he was in nothing but his boxers. His jeans were folded across the chair on the other side of the room. His shirt was draped over Amelia’s shoulders as she stood by the foot of the bed, sipping on what smelled like coffee.
“Mornin.’” She spoke into her beverage. “Bad dream?”
He nodded. “What time is it?”
“ it’s only 7 am. Go back to sleep.”
“Fuck. Shit. Fuck.” His head hit the pillow again. “I’ve gotta meet Ross at the hotel gym in a bit.”
“I’m sure he’d understand if you canceled just this once.” Amelia made her way towards the hotel coffee machine, rummaging through the complimentary supplies to make him some coffee.
“I figured it out.” He spoke over the sound of the machine, “I’m taking out the weight lifting bit. I’ll replace it with a speech. But it’s going to be funny. I’ll have to write something today. You and Tobias can help me figure out where I should be, onstage, when I deliver it. For lights and shit.”
“Is that what your dream was about?” She picked up his mug, walking over to his side of the bed.
“No. No. My dream was….much more terrifying.”
“You wanna talk about it?” She handed him the mug.
“Not really. Id rather forget about it.” He took a sip and hummed in satisfaction.
“Oh I know how to help you forget.” She whispered into his ear.
“Oh?”
“Have you decided whether or not you want sex yet?”
He stared through her, blankly. Nows not the time to say I love you.
With his eyes still fixed on her, he set his drink down on the nightstand, then he leaned forth and kissed her, wrapping both of his strong arms around her waist and pulling her on top of him.
She yelped, loudly, laughing and reveling in the kisses that he’d peppered her body with. Fuck, she’d missed him. He had a certain unforgettable touch that satiated her, yet always left her wanting more.
“Hold on tight for me, darling.” He whispered from underneath her.
She hovered over him, her hands gripping the headboard tightly, knowing it was necessary, and bracing herself. Matty lined his lips with her center, licking his mouth hungrily.
“You ready?”
“Yes, god yes.”
“What I like to hear.”
She gasped, breathless as she felt his tongue lick into her. Mouthing a silent “fuck yeah” up at the ceiling. His mouth was just as perfect as she’d remembered and replayed in her fantasies. He knew exactly how to move, he’d taken pains to learn the pace that worked best for her, and he took his time working her up: going slow at first, giving her time to adjust, making sure she’s comfortable before dialing up. He relished in the fact that he could tell how great she was feeling by the rocking of the headboard. As the sound of it hitting the wall intensified, so did his mouth, licking, sucking. His newly grown out facial hair grazing the insides of her legs, a new sensation she hadn’t experienced before.
She felt ( and heard) her own wetness covering Matty’s lips, dripping down his chin. He let none of it stop him. He delighted in it, in fact. Took it as a clear indication that he was doing his job right. He loved opening his eyes, seeing her breasts right there in front of him and had to fight the urge to reach over for a quick feel. As tempted as he was, he much preferred keeping his arms wrapped around her, both, for safety, and to keep her in place whenever she tried to squirm away, feeling too sensitive. He knew he’d gotten her right where she wanted when she began to shake and whine.
“Ple-please. Matty- please— I feel- you’re so- please?”
He waited for her to look down, locking eyes with him, then, without pulling his mouth away from her, he nodded, mumbling a “cum for me.”
Matty smiled when he felt her thighs clamp down around his head. She moved faster, carelessly, bouncing up and down, riding his tongue, and screaming out his name.
His grip around her tightened when she let go of the headboard, catching her as she collapsed on top of him.
The sounds of their heavy breathing filled the room.
“Yum.” Matty made sure to add into the heavy silence, making her blush and turn to hide her face in the sheets.
He rolled over to pull her away from the bed and free her beautiful, blushing face. “Pretty sure the entire floor knows my name now. So much for my ‘Adam Levine’ Alias.” He gloated.
“Stopppp. That’s not funnyyy.” She whined, hiding in the crook of his neck.
“Sorry, sorry. I forget you get weirdly shy after doing obscenely sexy things.”
He peeled her off of him, his fingers tilting her chin up. “Hi. Good morning.” He couldn’t help the grin on his face. “Kiss?”
“Can taste myself on you.”
“Don’t you taste amazing?” Matty reached for his lukewarm coffee. “Could put you in my coffee and drink you up.”
“Gross.” She rolled her eyes. “Wait,” she took his mug away as soon as it touched his lips. “Wanna ride you.”
“Uhh…what?”
“Who’s shy now?” She shot up an eyebrow as she set the mug back where it was.
“N-no. Not shy. Just….the last time we did that…well….”
“I cried and hid in the bathroom. I know. But I wanna try again.”
“Are you- sure?”
“Wouldn’t be literally asking for it if I wasn’t.”
“Fair enough- I guess.”
Matty’s body stiffened, head to toe, as soon as she moved to remove his briefs. She felt him tense up.
“You alright?”
“Mhm.”
“Matty, don’t worry. I’m fine. I promise this is fine.”
“Yeah, umm…yeah. It’s fine.”
She studied his face silently for a beat. “So….can I go ahead?”
“I- guess. Yeah…yeah, go on. Do it.”
Amelia was stunned to look down at Matty’s lap and find herself face to face with his flaccid penis.
“Uhh, Matty-“
“Don’t- I know- it’s fine.”
“Uhhu. So you keep saying. But I’m looking at it and- well, it’s not fine. Hey, no big deal! You’re not in the mood right now. You don’t have to be. I guess I just thought, after everything you just did-“
“I AM in the mood. I promise!”
“Does the rest of your body know?”
“It…knows.
“The dick doesn’t lie, Matty.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.”
“Well, I’m not in the mood for that right this second.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” She nodded at his lap. “Sorry! Sorry! I think- I think I reflexively make jokes when I’m uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to-“
“Go to therapy, Amelia! Stop making dick jokes.”
“Soft dick jokes….okay, that wasn’t nice but I’ll let it slide cuz you’re having a crisis of masculinity right now.”
Matty pulled his briefs back up. “I am not!”
“I’m not saying that….that….failing to get it up — there I said it! Okay. We’re all adults here it’s fine! Except I guess Matty Jr. over there cuz he’s refusing to grow but…oh my god someone stop me!!!l” she got off the bed, pacing around the room and avoiding looking into Matty’s eyes. Then, once her brows had stopped sweating she tried again.
“I’m just saying, Matty. Failing to maintain an erection is fine. It’s not some weird measure of manliness or whatever. But you make whole shows about being a man and….I guess I just wanna say that it happens. It’s fine.”
Matty turned around around to sit on the edge of the bed, his feet touching the ground. He found his cigarette packet on the nightstand and began to feel around for his lighter.
“Amelia?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you leave?”
“What? Why?! Are you mad at me? I was joking, Matty! I’m sorry-“
“No, no. I’m not mad. It’s just….please leave? I can’t look at you right now. Don’t want you to see me like this.”
“Oh, for fucks sakes! You’re such a primate. What, are you a wounded jungle animal going off on his own to die with dignity away from the pack? So, your dick can’t get hard so fuckin what? They have drugs for that shit now. Pop a pill and shut up!”
“Leave.” Matty walked over to his hotel room door, pulling it open.
“Unbelievable.”
***
Matty stood in the far corner of the venue, sipping his wine and wishing he were anywhere but this after party. He knew that as Frontman, it reflected well on everybody for him to be there and to put on a smile, especially since they were leaving the west coast in the morning. This would be his last chance to thank and celebrate some local people who helped put this show on for the past few weeks.
His mind, however, was elsewhere. He couldn’t tear his eyes off Amelia. And as he looked at her, his nightmare from the other night replayed in his head. He’d dreamt that he tried to tell her that he loves her, but every time that he would approach her, she’d get farther and farther away, until she’d disappeared. Marty’s never been a superstitious guy, but, something about that dream left a bad feeling in the back of his mind.
‘I’m in love with you.’ Just tell her. Go on. Go up to her. Look her in the eyes and say ‘Amelia, I’m in love with you.’ Do it before you lose the courage. He gulped down what was left of his drink and marched in her direction. She’d been saying goodbye to a venue worker who’d helped her out of a few backstage emergencies.
“Amelia?”
She turned around at the mention of her name. “Matty! Hi! Oh, god. I wasn’t sure…I mean, I’ve been keeping my distance cuz…you know. You kicked me out of your hotel room after not being able to- well, you know. But I just wanted to say.”
“Amelia, shut up.”
“Beg your fuckin pardon?”
“Sorry, I just mean, forget all that. I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Oh? Go on. What is it?”
“Well, it’s simple, really, I-“
Amelia felt someone tap her shoulder and turned around. It was Joshua. He leaned in and greeted her with a kiss.
“Hi, you.” Matty noticed her hand squeeze his shoulder. “What- what’re you doing here? Come to say goodbye?”
“Even better.” Joshua smiled at her. “Here to give you the good news in person. I’m tagging along! On tour, I mean. If you’ll have me.”
“What?!” Matty yelled out before he could stop himself.
Both of the couples heads whipped around staring at him.
“Sorry, pardon. Private moment. I shouldn’t intrude…I’ll just- walk…away.”
As he walked away, Matty thought, THIS must be his dream. His nightmare coming to life.
#matty healy fanfiction#matty healy writing#matty healy fanfic#matty healy fluff#matty healy smut#matty healy angst#matty healy x y/n#matty healy x you#matty healy x oc
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Indiscreet - 05. In the Mood for Love
Pairing: Writer/Producer!Javi Gutierrez x you (Hollywood AU)
SERIES MASTERLIST
Chapter summary: This is it. The Big Moment.
Chapter warning: NSFW, NC-17, mature, no minors allowed. Discussion of safety, oral (both you and Javi), PIV, dirty talk, daddy kink (not the DDLG kind), age gap (mid 20s and mid 40s).
Word count: 9.8k
Playlist:
Dress - Taylor Swift
So It Goes
Author's note:
I had this in the queue two years ago, then life got in the way and I abandoned it. I've decided to return because I feel I have a responsibility to finish what I started, so here it is, the very long awaited smut chapter!
I've also decided to tweak the previous chapters a lot because I've changed as a person in these two years, so it's better to reread those first, as a refresher too. When I first started writing this, it was going to be about a pandemic/quarantine romance - it was initially inspired by The Bubble's premise anyway. But... that's old news now, and I don't feel like going back to that space of mind. You fall in love under different circumstances now.
Enjoy and apologies for my absence. I promise to be here more often!
✧✧✧
Day 9
The wrap party is held at the villa where you’d been filming for the past week. All of the cast and crew members are present except for one glaring absence – Dieter Bravo. He’d left the set faster than Óscar could even announce it’s a wrap. In full costume, no less.
Javi has to do something about that. Dieter’s a brilliant actor, that’s undeniable, but his public image hasn’t been positive lately. Hunger Strike helped him sweep the awards season, and if Dieter could be a little more professional, Javi wouldn’t mind pushing the campaign for his work in this too. He’s lucky he physically resembles Javi a little… As long as Javi keeps writing self-insert characters into his scripts, Dieter will always have a job waiting.
The dinner part of the party is over – people are scattered around the garden mingling and draining the last bottles of champagne and making plans for the few days off until work resumes in London.
“Óscar,” you sit down between him and Javi. They have settled on the chairs they dragged to the corner to overlook the sea while they drink and smoke. “I’m gonna go with those guys. They’ll drive me back.”
Your head nudges towards the group laughing boisterously on the steps of the villa. Some are crew, some are your co-stars that you’ve been working with since the start of the production, and some are new local actors hired just for the duration of the shoot here. They’ve made such a tight knit group you’re surprised that they even asked you to come along at all.
“Taking the party elsewhere?” Óscar asks.
“Yeah… we’re going to Saint-Tropez.”
“We could go with you. If you want.” Javi carefully masks his hopeful tone.
“We’re gonna hit up some clubs...”
“You’re way too old for that.” Óscar slaps Javi on the shoulder.
“Right,” Javi drinks the rest of his cognac in one gulp and pours another, since he’s not going anywhere tonight by the looks of it. “Might displace my hip on the dance floor or something.”
You laugh. “You’re good. It’s just… I never went out with any of them, so… could be fun.”
“Oh my God, go, we’re not your parents,” Óscar shoos you. “Just be on the boat on time tomorrow. And ask the others, too.”
“Will do, Dad.”
Javi chokes on his drink and Óscar snorts. He gets up when the cinematographer and boom operator drunkenly call for his attention. “Have fun, kid.”
“Take care of yourself. Don’t drink too much.” Javi says once Óscar is safely out of hearing distance. He didn’t see you drinking at all during dinner despite the free flowing alcohol and now he suspects it’s because you’ve planned on going all out for the after party. He doesn’t mean to be controlling, but he’s supportive of your intention to cut back and he doesn’t really trust that party crowd to look after you. Not that he thinks you couldn’t do it yourself, but it would give him a peace of mind if you were going to be inebriated.
“Yeah, don’t worry about that. I just feel like I should go. They’re my castmates. I haven’t spent much time with them, or even at all.” All thanks to the man sitting across from you, but you have no regrets. “And, you know, networking.”
“We both know you don’t have to worry about that anymore,” he grins. “Where are you going? Do you know yet?”
“No, but probably something really cliche like Les Caves or VIP.”
“Is Elise coming too? I don’t see her.”
“She left. Like ten minutes ago. Don’t ask me how I know and don’t tell anyone, but she’s following Dieter.”
Oh, shit. Javi’s eyes go wide.
“Hey, don’t ask.”
Javi is incredulous. Is he that oblivious to even his actors now? He’s on set most days and he always keeps a closer eye on them to anticipate any on set drama. He’s known them both for as long as he’s been in the industry and he usually could get a good read on these things. Takes one to know one. Maybe he’s really been that distracted.
“What about Ross? Is he coming with you?”
“Yeah. Why?” A coy smile slowly forms on your lips.
“Nothing. I heard he asked you out.” He looks away from you into the distance.
You fake a gasp. “Were you eavesdropping on me?”
“He was pretty damn loud about it.”
“Then you know I told him I have a boyfriend, right?”
“I thought so. The way his face fell. If only he could emote that well on camera.”
“Javi! That’s mean!”
“You know I’m not wrong.”
He’s right. You might be new, but you figured a while ago Ross couldn’t have been cast for his talents but rather his heartthrob status for maximum PR.
“So who’s the boyfriend?” Javi playfully side eyes you and you nudge your knee to his. “Can’t be me, too old for that.”
“Uh huh. Let’s see…” You pretend to think. “Man-friend? Lover?”
Javi groans and makes a face.
“Ooh, I know,” you look at him seductively. “Daddy.”
“Careful.” Fuck.
“Wow… I…” your eyes widen. This is definitely interesting. “...can’t wait to explore that.”
“It only sounds hot coming from you.”
Your breath catches in your throat. “Any cute nicknames for me?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He throws you a teasing glance. “You could’ve found out an hour from now, give or take.” You look at him in question, so he continues. “I have a whole surprise planned – had.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“‘Surprise’ being the key word there, babe.”
“I could tell them–”
“No, forget I said anything. Go have fun.”
“But–”
“Honey. We can’t exactly hang out with each other’s friends, so when you have the chance to be with them, you go, okay? I’ll be fine.” He might be seeing things but he swears he sees your eyes tear up… with relief. Why do you need permission so badly?
“Okay. I’ll see you later?”
“I can’t promise I’ll still be up. I’m ooooold.” He leans back on his chair, taking his time to admire you in your low cut dress under the guise of having a casual, professional conversation.
“Hm, so is it your idea or Óscar’s to go to the casino tomorrow? That’s some old people shit.” The lightness comes back in your tone.
“Noitsnot.” Javi answers too quickly.
“Yeah, right. Looking forward to playing the jackpot?”
“I’ll have you know I’ll sweep you at poker.”
“If you say so. I’ll make sure to wear something interesting to distract you.”
“That’s cheating but I’ll allow it.”
“And meanwhile,” you shift so he could get a better look at your cleavage. “Think about what could’ve happened if you’d told me your plans first.”
“Ah, so my usual thoughts. That’s easy.”
“Yeah, mine too.” Your voice drops to a whisper. “I didn’t come last night, daddy.”
He suppresses a groan. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
“I had to. You made me so wet.”
“I offered to take care of you, baby.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t come. I wanted to wait for you.”
“Fuck.”
“Well, now we’re even. See you tomorrow.”
You get up and leave to join your friends, leaving him hard and wanting as he pulls out a new cigarette.
✧✧
Day 10
You are positively trying to kill him today. As if the thought of you touching yourself right under his room wasn’t enough to make his balls about to explode, now you’re lounging in the red one piece that drove him crazy a couple of months ago. He tries hard, very hard, to look at literally anything else. He hopes no one notices how long he’s been ‘taking pictures’ of the oceanic view.
And it gets worse. When it’s time to dress up to the nines for the night, he puts on a light blue suit jacket, but you… you go beyond what you promised. You arrive last to the casino and in that moment, it’s as if everything in the room stops. It stirs something in him too when he sees people checking you out as you walk past them.
“You look so handsome.” You tell him once you’re close enough. Óscar had gone straight to the high rollers table upon arrival, taking a few crew members on his dime. But Javi’s content with sitting around nursing his drink, waiting for you.
“This isn’t fair.” He gives you a quick once over.
“You like it?” You’re not usually one to wear something so revealing, but Javi makes you bold. You were saving this up for a proper date with him back in London, but there’s no time like the present. You can’t even be shy about showing so much because you need to elicit his reaction.
“It’s fucking fantastic.”
“You should see it on the floor.”
He drops his head and sighs heavily, then he points his drink towards the slot machines. “One round and we’re leaving.”
“What happened to poker? Are you chickening out?” You challenge him.
“No, but it takes much more time.”
“Excuses, excuses…” From here, you can see Óscar in your line of sight. “Why don’t we leave after he wins? Then he’ll be busy with the next round to notice us, right?”
“That’d be a while. He sucks.”
“Go and help him, then. Oh, how are we getting back?”
“We’re not. I’m getting us a suite.”
“I don’t know about that. It’s a lot less private around here. People talk.”
You’re right, and logistically it’s more difficult to explain both of your absences for the night and potentially tomorrow morning. The yacht isn’t an option, either.
“Let’s Uber, then.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that. It doesn’t work here.”
He studies your face while he calculates his options. “Sit tight, I have an idea.”
✧
The ‘idea’ turns out to be buying a fellow gambler’s car with his winnings. Of all things you expected to happen today, finding yourself in the backseat of a Pagani was not one. Javi was a few hundred thousand short but he didn’t think the guy cared that much. From the way he had been gawking at Javi and Óscar since they walked in, he probably would’ve given it away for free. His immaculate taste in cars was just a nice bonus. Plus, the color matches his suit.
“I just have to send his kids some signed merch and arrange them a tour of the Beskar set. Great deal, huh?”
“You billionaires are weird.” You shake your head in amusement.
He starts the car and the revving attracts a few passersby. “What did you tell Óscar?”
“That I’m tired and everyone else is busy having fun. He didn’t even blink.”
“Let’s hope they’ll keep him occupied ‘til tomorrow.”
The two of you ride in silence, enjoying the vast view of hills and sea, away from the city lights. Javi is relaxed and concentrated, and it gives you a warm, calm feeling seeing him this way.
“It’s been a long time since I drove a sports car. This is a vast improvement from the last one, though, definitely.” He looks over to your side, clearly enjoying his time. “Better looking passenger, too.”
“Pfft, come on! So cheesy.”
“I’m serious… It was with Nic.” Javi says with a chuckle. “You should’ve seen how everyone was looking at you.”
“Can’t say I noticed.”
“Hmm-mm. They were.”
“Did you like it? Or were you jealous?”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“I get jealous when I see other women checking you out. I’m not too proud to admit that.”
“But they don’t hold a candle to you. So don’t worry.”
“Same here. Don’t want anyone else.”
You caress his arm up to his shoulder where he turns his head to give your hand a kiss. Then you lightly travel down to tug at the buttons on his stomach, then his belt, then the zipper of his pants… you let out a soft moan when he involuntarily bucks towards your hand. Feeling brave, and to his surprise, you cup him over the material and he lets out a heavy groan.
“Behave, baby. You keep that up and we won’t make it there.”
“Okay, but drive faster. Feels so heavy, Javi. I want it all in me. Make it fit.” Turning him on turns you on.
His hands on the steering wheel turn white. “Fuck yes baby you’re gonna take it. Wearing that dress like you’re begging to be fucked. I knew everyone in there pictured your bare tits.”
Oh. Your jaw drops. That’s… unexpected. You squeeze him in response and he immediately takes away your hand to clasp it above his knee.
“You’re so fucking naughty. Teasing me every day.” Javi’s deep voice drops a few more octaves and it makes you squirm. “What happened to waiting, hm?”
“I can’t. I’m tired of fingering myself to sleep, every night.”
“Yeah? What did you think about when you did it?”
“Yours in me… mine aren’t thick enough, Javi,” you sigh from your own admission. “Your tongue. Feeling your mustache on me. You stretching m–”
You gasp when Javi suddenly grips your hand tightly. You’ve never seen Javi look this intense before. His nostrils flare, his eyes darken, and his breathing becomes so heavy you can hear it in the silence.
“Want you fucking my mouth, daddy,” you continue, making him grip you again to the point of almost hurting.
“You–” His mouth forms into a snarl. “You’re gonna kill me.”
You bring up his hand that grips you to run his thumb along your lips to nibble on it. You do the same to each finger, eyes looking at him putting all his effort into concentrating on the road ahead. He finally turns his head when you slip his middle finger past your lips to the knuckle, giving it a languid, sensual suck. A teaser of what’s to come.
“Fuck, baby. You have to stop.” Javi lets out a moan as he focuses back on the road and you keep swirling your tongue around him, rubbing the underside back and forth as if it were–
You have an idea.
You hope you won’t crash and die on these hills.
Your other hand makes a quick work hiking up your dress and your mouth lets go of his finger and you guide your hand and his between your thighs and–
Javi lets out an angry growl when his hand meets your soaked panties. “You get this wet from talking?”
“It’s you, Javi…” He starts rubbing you through the material and you throw your head back on the seat, moving your hips along with his movement.
Then you have another idea.
You recline the seat, shimmy your ruined panties off, and drape your leg over the console to spread yourself open. The cold that hits you is nothing compared to the warmth of his massive hand so close to your center. Javi’s eyes look like they’re about to bulge out of their sockets. He can’t see you clearly in the dark, but he can definitely feel your wetness on the leather.
“Please, Javi… I don’t wanna wait.”
Javi mutters something under his breath, his one hand on the wheel shaking. He didn’t plan on doing this here, or even tonight. He was going to surprise you with a private dinner the other night, and tonight he only wanted to take you back to the villa just so you could stop pretending you’re just coworkers when work is already done - for the time being, anyway. He thought it would be PG at best, but… he’s not complaining. But he’s driving, and he’s thisclose to losing control.
But on the other hand, is your exposed pussy begging for his touch. And Javi’s only a man.
So Javi decides to be a gentleman and give you what you ask for. He starts by running his hand over your mound, groaning at the smoothness. Then he moves his hand further down and spreads your wetness over his hand and yourself, fingers parting your lips along the way. You don’t dare to look down because even a mere glance of Javi’s hand working on you would make you come, you’re sure of it.
But you do anyway, just as his finger starts to rub your clit in circular motions, making you fall back on the seat with a loud moan. He continues and puts more pressure as you squirm and writhe, restrained by the seatbelt across your torso, keening sounds filling the small space.
He wishes he could watch you. Maybe he should pull over, get you off, then drive again after you’re both satisfied? But he really doesn’t wanna do it in a car that hasn’t even been his for an hour. You deserve better, somewhere more comfortable, even when you’re so desperate now.
Luckily the GPS says they’re only 5 minutes away.
5 minutes too long.
“Javi…” your pleading moan takes him back into the situation at hand, and he gets the hint. You need more.
So he gives you more. His middle finger prods your entrance and enters you without warning, making you bite your lip in pleasure. Your two that usually keep you busy on many lonely nights is nothing in comparison to his thick one. His knuckles on the steering wheel go white when you clench around him as he tries to find your spot without even looking in your direction.
3 minutes.
Should he, or should he not make you come? It’s fucking hot, seeing you grip the armrest and your toes curling, hearing you loudly cry when he adds another finger, the squelch of your pussy equally as loud as your wanton moans to his ears. DRIVEDRIVEDRIVEyouresocloseDRIVEsoclose
The GPS doesn’t even get to announce your arrival before he carelessly parks the car in the driveway. His fingers leave your core to your dismay and he doesn’t give you a moment before pulling his seatbelt off and lurches on to you, grabbing your face in a passionate kiss and smearing your wetness on his fingers on your neck.
“Javi…” you try to get a word in between kisses. “Let’s– let’sgoinsidebaby–”
Reluctantly he pulls back from you, eyes as dark as the night. With a heavy sigh, Javi exits the car and helps you out, your panties forgotten on the floor.
✧
Javi opens the front door and doesn’t even get to turn on the lights when a moaning sound from somewhere inside freezes you both.
“Óscar…?” Javi tries, as much as he knows it couldn’t be him. The moans persist and turn into groans. “Uh… stay here. Call security, please, honey.”
“NO!”
“Dieter?!” Javi says incredulously to which the man answers with another groan. You close the door and follow Javi to the living room.
“Hey, man. Sorry to crash.”
Dieter is passed out on the couch, hair strewn in every direction, barely dressed in a pair of boxers and a wrinkled green bathroom robe. He’s holding a corked bottle of wine that threatens to slip out of his grasp that he clearly struggled to open with his bare hands before. By his feet is a spilled, empty glass of whatever he was having and an unlit joint that already burned a hole through the velvet material. It’s a shitshow.
“How did you even get in here?”
“I climbed. Your security is shit.”
“Yeah, thanks. Why are you here?”
“Why are you so pissy?”
At that moment, you come into his view and Dieter’s reddened eyes stare at you quizzically before noticing your smeared lipstick… and your see-through front that you try to cover as much as you can with your very small clutch.
And then he has the audacity to drop his gaze onto Javi’s tented lap.
“Oooooohhhhh. No fucking way. You’re so dead.”
“Hi… Dieter.” You try to meet his eyes so he wouldn’t look anywhere else, particularly your… private area.
“Holy shit. Does Óscar know?”
You glance at Javi who keeps glaring at Dieter in anger. His patience is running thin.
“Dieter. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?”
“I got high and Elise threw a fucking fit because I was balls de– I was with my PA. Don’t look at me all judgy like that. You’re also tapping this hot piece of a–”
“Shut up!” Javi barks. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
“Chill the fuck out, Javi.” Dieter rolls his eyes and gives you a salute. “Great dress… beautiful dress.”
“Stop.”
“Okay. Damn.”
“Go back to your room, Dieter.”
“Can’t. She’s in there.”
“That’s your problem.”
“You go and fuck each other’s brains out. I’ll sit here and be quiet.”
“Out, Dieter. I give you ten seconds. Ten.” Javi starts counting.
“Really?”
“I’m getting a drink.” You announce to no one. Luckily there’s a throw blanket on the nearest chair and you’re able to swiftly cover yourself in it.
Dieter gets up and stumbles right behind you to the kitchen. “Great idea!”
“Hey!” Javi’s growl echoes throughout the house and he stalks after Dieter, grabbing him by the collar of his robe. “Nine.”
“Let go of me, man.”
“I’ve had it with you, Dieter. You got arrested, you ran off set, you mess around with my crew–”
“Oh and that rule doesn’t apply to you?”
“No, it doesn’t. I make the rules.”
“Yeah? I thought Óscar does.”
“Eight, Dieter. Watch it.”
“Hey, I never asked.” Dieter smirks at you. “How old are you? Twenty?”
“Four years ago, I was.” You tell him nonchalantly at the same time that Javi says “don’t answer him.”
Dieter looks over his shoulder at Javi and barks out a mocking laugh. “You have one year to leave him for Leo. Nice.”
“That’s it, we’re done.” Javi’s grip tightens on Dieter’s robe and he starts to drag him back out. All this male posturing is really wearing you off. You can’t take this back and forth between them anymore. This was supposed to be a fun night for you.
“I have seven more, don’t I?”
“Just… let him stay, Javi. I’m tired anyway.” You let out an exaggerated sigh and fill up another glass with water and put it on the kitchen island, motioning to Dieter that it’s for him. You bury your face in your hands, softly massaging your temples while Javi goes to stand by your side with his back facing Dieter. You reach out until you find his hand and you squeeze it softly, silently assuring him it’s not his fault.
The three of you stand around in silence while Dieter sips his water and Javi eventually stops clenching from anger. When he’s done drinking, Dieter finally looks like he knows what guilt is.
“Sorry for ruining your night.”
“Hmm.” “No shit.” You and Javi reply in unison.
“You two gonna tell Óscar about this?”
“None of your business.” Javi turns around to face him with a finality in his tone. “And whatever is going on with Elise, sort that out before we’re back to filming.”
“I don’t have any more scenes.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I’ve told you I’ve taken up that other job.”
“What other job?”
“Cliff Beasts.”
You snort and raise your head. “Cliff Beasts? Really?”
He shrugs. “Money’s good.”
“Use that for rehab.” Javi snarks.
“Who else is in it?” You sincerely wonder. You were too young to watch the original in theaters when it came out, but the franchise keeps getting more and more ridiculous with each sequel. You keep up just to understand the memes, like everyone does.
“The entire old cast is coming back. Even Carol Cobb.”
“Cool. Love her.”
“And new people your age. They keep telling me they’re from TikTok. What’s that?”
“Don’t worry about it.” You dismiss his question. He should stay in the dark about that. The world doesn’t deserve to witness Dieter’s shenanigans on that app.
You rinse your glass and pat Javi’s arm. “I’m going to bed.”
Javi watches you walk away and waits until you close your bedroom door before he scolds Dieter. “You saw nothing, heard nothing. No one will know about this.”
“Okay.”
“One slip up and I won’t vouch for you anymore.”
“Okay.”
“And you’ll be gone tomorrow morning before we’re up. Sort your shit out.”
“Heard you.”
Javi leaves him to go up to his room and he hears Dieter call out a thanks when he’s halfway past the stairs. He has no energy to acknowledge it.
✧
And gone before they’re up, he did. Óscar didn’t even see him when he finally got back around 7 AM and the rest of the day was spent shuffling around to pack. Javi had to arrange the shipment of the new car he acquired too. There was no time to talk about last night, or talk at all, because Javi’s private plane was already waiting on the tarmac for whenever they’re done and ready to leave.
Óscar is passed out from hangover across from him while you occupy the front of the plane. Busy on your phone, as usual. From his position he can somewhat make out an Escher-looking game. There’s only 30 minutes left before the plane lands in London and he has about 15 before Óscar wakes up.
“So,” he moves next to your seat and speaks in a whisper. “Where are you going after we land?”
“I have to check into my hotel. Why are we whispering?”
“Do you want to just stay at mine? For the rest of the shoot?”
It’s very tempting. But logistically it’ll only call attention to you. You can’t exactly get away with staying at the producer’s house for an entire month. It’s bad enough that Ava knows and now Dieter too. “And tell my PA what?”
“That you’re renting your own place? Staying with a friend?”
“They need to know where they’re picking me up every day.”
“That’s easy. I’ll drive you.”
“Yes, that won’t be suspicious at all.”
Javi sighs in defeat. You’re right, again. Óscar stirs in his seat and Javi waits until he stills again to propose his solution. Except Óscar doesn’t and is fully awake now and asking if they’re there yet.
“I’ll text you,” he mouths.
✧✧
London, three days later
What he proposed in the text didn’t come into fruition. He’d told you to check in, repack your necessities, and he’ll pick you up to go to his place. Only go to your hotel when you need new clothes. It’s not a bad idea, but it doesn’t matter anyway because you didn’t even get to unpack before Javi informed you that he’d be busy and couldn’t pick you up.
So you’ve been staying in your room, alone, since you got back, flicking through the script for next week and for a new series Javi sent you this morning. “Ten episodes, HBO. Whichever role you want.” You didn’t have the heart to tell him that it turns out acting doesn't interest you that much and someone else would be more grateful for the opportunity. He also told you he offered Dieter the same project, who accepted it on the spot. But Dieter needs to complete Cliff Beasts first before this starts production, so you have time until then to tell Javi.
Who is now calling you. You pick up on the first ring.
“Hey, baby.” His voice sounds tired and it’s barely dark. He’s been occupied with meetings and prep, hence his absence. “Wanna go for dinner in an hour?”
“I just finished eating room service. We could go for drinks, though?”
“I don’t wanna be buzzed. I need to be up early tomorrow,” he lets out a heavy sigh. “I miss you.”
Your heart aches, knowing the effort he puts into his work and how much it means to him and Óscar. You know how badly he wants his production company to be on par with the big league studios. You know how much thought and research and passion he puts into each of his films. All of that doesn’t even count running his family business on top of everything too - the legal one, the only one that still exists. It hasn’t been the same since a new guy took over from his ex and because of that Javi has to be more hands on in every decision making, or so he told you.
“Miss you too. Where are you right now?”
“Amsterdam.”
“Wait, what?!”
“Didn’t I tell you this morning?”
Definitely no, you would’ve remembered. “No, but– why?”
“Business stuff. Anyway, I’m about to take off.”
“Okay, umm…” You try to think of an idea quickly, still dumbfounded by the new information. “Why don’t you… come over tonight?”
“I’m just gonna disappoint you, babe. I’m so tired.”
“Oh, yeah, I don’t mean– we don’t have to– just have dinner here and sleep. Like, sleep sleep.”
There’s silence on the other hand as Javi thinks it over.
“Yeah. Sure. Okay.”
Two hours later, Javi rings on your door and you open it in your underwear and a loose t-shirt that doesn’t go past your waist. The way Javi’s eyes widen is so comical that you’d laugh if he didn’t immediately slam the door to pick you up and carry you to the bedroom, his lips finding yours as he does.
“Should’ve brought you with me… missed you so much.”
You whimper as you try to pry open his buttons.
“I really can’t, baby…” He pulls your fingers off him, kissing each one before he lets go and rolls over onto his back.
Next thing you know you hear his soft snores. His feet dangle from the bed and he’s still very much fully clothed.
You give him a chaste kiss and pull the blanket over your bodies and fall asleep too.
✧
You wake up to the soft buzzing of a hair dryer and a ring of the doorbell. The room is dimmed and it’s still dark outside. You get up groggily to get the door and walk past the dining table filled with freshly prepared breakfast. Neat.
There’s no one outside when you open it, but an inconspicuous brown paper bag sits on the floor with a note attached that addresses the package to a ‘Mr. José Estrada’. What…?
“That’s for me, babe.” Javi comes out of the bathroom in a towel folded up to above his stomach and his hair uncombed. It’s… adorable. You’re still not awake enough to appreciate it and merely raise your eyebrows at the name on the bag. Javi shrugs and takes the package from you. “Clothes. Just to be careful. Mornin’.”
He leans down to kiss you but you turn away, muttering about morning breath. He snickers and goes back in to change.
Javi is still in the living room having breakfast when you emerge again, freshly showered too. He’s in a pair of slacks and a white half-buttoned shirt, like he just got home from work instead of going to it. He looks too devastatingly handsome for this early. He guides you by the back of your knees to sit on his lap and you definitely, definitely wobble.
“What are you doing today?” You ask him while he peppers kisses on your neck.
“On set for half the day. Then I’m free.” He pulls back to stroke your cheek. “Stay at my place tonight? I’ll cook you dinner.”
The implication is clear in his eyes.
✧✧
Of course you didn’t get to find out what he was going to cook for you. What is it with the universe conspiring against you having a wholesome, uninterrupted night with this man? Okay, maybe that’s why, because you’re not really aiming for wholesome. Instead of his house, you’re at Carlotta with him and a few of his celebrity friends, including Dieter and Elise. It’s been three hours and the chatter has gone cold and the wine warm.
“...maybe it’s just like a month off? I don’t know what the big deal is.”
“Apparently the other unions are considering it too.”
“What else?”
“Directors, Writers, Visual Effects, who knows what else. It’s gonna be chaotic.”
You don’t even care what’s being talked about anymore. Someone needs to get the bill before smoke comes out of your ears. You know you didn’t have to be here, of course, but you didn’t want to wait around in your room either and you were hungry. Javi had called you from set to let you know about this last minute dinner that someone arranged in the guise of business networking. Óscar still had scenes to direct and told Javi to go on his own. He knew Javi had nothing to do for the rest of the day. And Javi couldn’t exactly tell him he actually had plans with you.
You weren’t pissed initially - you were enjoying yourself, even. But the two smartly dressed thirty-something women four tables over who have been eyefucking Javi for the past half hour? The statuesque former VS model who sent him a negroni and her Ritz room key? That’s not even his drink of choice, you sneer in your head. Nice try.
You’re not jealous of them, no, Javi is going home with someone at the end of the night and it’s not with any of them. But the way he looks right now and the way that he’s wanted, turn you on so much. That pisses you off. Because this dinner couldn’t finish soon enough.
“I’m gonna drop by Loulou’s after this, you wanna come?” Elise asks next to you. “Ross is already there.”
You look over to Javi… who is signing the check, thank fucking God.
✧
Neither of you even made it to his house last night.
He’d barely parked his car, that ostentatious blue thing, in his driveway when you climbed over the console to sit on his lap.
“Thank you for dinner,” you murmured into his exquisite neck, leaving a mark with your teeth. Tacky, you knew.
“You’re the only one who’s ever said that to me,” he looked at you with a hint of wistfulness. You felt a pang in your heart at his confession.
“Of course I’m grateful, Javi.” You kissed him softly while you twisted the curls around the nape of his neck. “I’ll show you how much.”
Then his phone rang.
And it was Óscar telling Javi to go to his place for last minute rewrites, again.
So regretfully, he had to drop you at your hotel on the way. And naturally this morning you woke up really, really annoyed.
“You know what, this is ridiculous.” You call him over lunch. Room service, again.
“I agree.”
“We should clear out our schedule.”
“Let’s do that.”
“You know I mean yours, right?”
Javi sighs. “I know. I’m gonna sort that out right now. How was your sleep?”
“Eh. I’ve had better. Yours?”
“Shitty. I passed out on the floor.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. I’m getting a massage as we speak.”
“On set?”
Javi grunts and you snort in jealousy.
“Tell you what. Book a res–”
“Absolutely not. It’s never gonna happen if we go out, Javi. There’s always… something. Like… some kind of weird divine intervention.”
He giggles from the other side. Actually giggles.
“Don’t laugh, I’m serious.”
Which makes him fully laugh. “I’ve cleared out my week. I’m all yours.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Daphne’s or Clos Maggiore?”
“Or.”
“Baby. Come on.”
“Let’s just… have coffee or something casual. That always works for us. Right?”
✧✧
It finally works. You spend the afternoon with him watching a movie at the Electric (and he booked out the entire place) and when you both couldn’t stop fooling around in the theater anymore, you make a run for the car.
“Yours or mine?”
“Yours. You wanted me in your bed.”
Javi wastes no time speeding to his house. It’s not a long drive, but Javi makes the most of it. He snakes his hand up your dress and rubs your inner thigh, making sure his knuckles brush along your clit while he’s at it. It drives you crazy, and by the time you arrive at his house, you’re already a panting mess.
He leads you up the stairs and into his bedroom, and you realize you haven’t been in it before. It’s not much of a difference from the room you’ve slept in aesthetic-wise, but it’s much bigger. Easily twice the size, plus a balcony with a small garden and a door that you assume leads to the bathroom and you don’t care what else because his lips are on yours and his hands are all over you as he walks you to the bed, pinning you down on it.
“I had better plans than this.” He croons into your ear and sucks a spot under the lobe.
You sigh into him. “It doesn’t matter now.”
Javi kisses along your jaw and lightly nips your chin. You grasp his shirt in surprise and he presses you deeper into the bed, making you even closer to him. His weight almost suffocates you, in a good way.
“You look fuckable in this, but it has to go.” He hooks a thumb under the strap of your velvet slip dress, your jacket long forgotten in the car. You nod, giving him permission, and he slips it past your shoulder, then past your tits still covered in a lacy strapless bra, then finally past your hips while he kisses the trail of exposed skin along the way. Javi groans loudly when he’s eye level with your crotch and he sees that your matching panties are soaked and that it’s a fucking thong.
“You are so pretty.” Javi kisses your mound over the material and hooks the string of your barely-there thong between his fingers, as if he’s contemplating whether he should take it off or take you in it. He grabs your thigh and slightly angles you to the side, tracing slowly to the one string swallowed between your cheeks, and his hand lands on your ass with a smack.
“Ah!” You exclaim in surprise and Javi takes the string just to snap it back on you with another light smack.
“Fucking pretty all over.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.” You say breathily.
“I know, baby.” Javi murmurs in between mouthing and biting on your thigh and kneading your ass. You’re too busy sighing out your pleasure that you don’t see his other hand about to palm your mound under your panties until you feel it. Javi takes his mouth off of you and sits back on his knees to watch you squirm under his touch.
“Javi…”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I need you.”
“Hmm.” Javi continues grazing his fingers down to your lips, intentionally avoiding where you need him the most.
“Javi…” You fully lie on your back and spread your legs apart. “Take it off.”
Oh, how he’d love to. “I’m gonna take my time, honey.” Javi cups you over your panties and moves his palm up and down your pussy, spreading your wetness on yourself. “You made me wait. Now you wait.”
“Please, Javi. Touch me–”
“I am touching you.”
“I need you, please–”
“Love hearing you beg, baby.”
“Please please please–”
“Please what?”
You’re reduced to whimpering and you buck up your hips to meet his grounding palm. Your arousal is dripping even more now and it drives him crazy that you, the most beautiful woman that he’s ever laid eyes on and he’s wanted since that night in November, is on his bed. Begging for him.
Frustrated, you take the initiative to undo the front clasp of your bra. Javi stops his movements the moment he sees them and you swear his mouth drops open a little.
He’s had several ideas of what they would look like but his imagination doesn’t compare to the real thing. Yours are the perfect size for his hands and so soft under his touch. He runs his hand up between your cleavage before leaning down to take a nipple in his mouth. You writhe under him, arching your back as he nibbles and laps on it and kneads the other one.
“More,” you groan.
“No,” he growls against your soft flesh.
“No?”
“Be patient.” You let out a cry when he bites your underboob. “These are so pretty, baby.”
You moan and tangle your fingers in his hair until he finally takes pity on you. He kisses the valley between your breasts before capturing your lips and you wrap your arms around his neck.
“Javi,” you whisper in between his hungry kisses. “I need t– I need to come.”
“Same here.”
“Touch me.”
“Where?”
You guide his hand and let it rest between your legs, grinding onto his hand again.
“Use your words, baby.”
“Just make me come, Javi. Do whatever you want with me.”
Desperation drips from your words and not only does it make him harder than before, it makes him smug too. He sits up on his knees, taking you in spread out on his bed with a hazy fucked out look on your face. And he technically hasn’t done anything yet.
He undoes his cufflinks and pushes his sleeves up his veiny forearms. There’s something about the motion that makes him even sexier to you - and it makes you feel that way too. He pries open your thighs further and lowers his gaze down to your still covered pussy. You’ve dripped down onto his bed and he groans at the sight. He takes the strings between his fingers and slowly peels your thong off, much to your relief. He chucks it over his shoulder and drops onto his elbows.
“You are the most fucking gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”
You’re about to raise your head to see his face but before you manage to, you feel his tongue on your pussy.
“Oh, FUCK! Oh my god. Javi–” You grab a fistful of sheets under you as he slowly runs his tongue from your clit down to your entrance, and licks around your opening and tries to stick it into you. No one’s ever eaten you out like this before. It was usually one or two pathetic kitten licks before they get up and dangle their dicks in front of your face. No one is as thorough as Javi, who makes you feel his mouth and whiskers in spots of you that you didn’t know existed.
You don’t realize that you said it out loud until Javi suddenly stops and looks up at you with glistening lips… and mustache. You feel a fresh wave of wetness flooding at the sight. This is what you’ve been imagining every previous night before.
“Seriously?”
You don’t know if he’s confused or upset by what you said. Either way, you need him to go back to what he was doing. “Yes, Javi, please don’t stop.”
“You’re telling me you don’t usually get eaten out?”
“No, uh, not like this. Never like–” Your own moans cut you off as he goes back to pleasuring you and you cry out when you feel his nose bumps your clit. You’re lost in this new feeling. It’s true. Never like this.
But with Javi? Javi is enjoying himself. He eats you out like he can’t get enough and he can’t get to all parts of you that he wants to taste. He’s slow enough for you to feel every movement his tongue is making, but he picks it up at the right pace when he feels that you need more. You feel his hand slowly squeezing your right boob, and then your eyes fly open when he suddenly puts a thick finger in you. You let out a high pitched moan and buck up to his lips.
“Fuck yeah. Be as loud as you want. You perfect little thing.” Javi shallowly thrusts it in and out of you. “Yours really didn’t fill you enough, huh?”
No. No, they didn’t. Javi’s one finger fills you so well you wonder how you’re gonna even be satisfied with yourself ever again after this. He hits the spots you never reached and makes you beg, and beg, and beg for more.
So he gives you more. He starts sucking your clit at the same time that he adds another finger into you. You don’t know what kind of noises you’re making anymore but it’s deprived enough that Javi groans into your pussy and the vibration and his hot breath make you keen even more.
“Javi… faster, baby.”
“You’re not gonna come from my hand.” Javi says as he rolls your clit with his tongue.
“But I’m close.” You whimper.
“I know. You’re so tight, fuck.” Javi raises his head to look at his fingers going in and out of you. They’re slick with your juices and he feels you pulsating around them whenever he drags them out, as if to keep him from not being inside you. “Think you can take my cock? Hmm?”
You gasp out a moan and he retracts his fingers completely. You’re getting too close to the edge and he doesn’t want you to come like this, no. Not by fingers or his mouth. He wants to feel you around him when you do. But that doesn’t stop him from tonguing you again and massaging your clit with his thumb until you’re panting and tugging hard on his hair that it hurts. Before you could go over the edge, he climbs over you and cages you in his arms, his mouth once again on your tits and smearing them with your wetness from his lips.
“Javi,” you grab his face in your hands and stroke his patchy, graying beard. “Please.”
You claw at his shirt, trying to open his buttons with trembling hands. He’s still fully clothed and it’s not fair. You manage to get the top two but then he untangles himself from you to stand at the foot of the bed… to rummage through his drawers.
“Fuck, uh… um… fuck.” Javi reaches into another one, turning it inside out, and starts rifling through a spare wallet he finds inside. “I don’t have condoms. Wait here. I might have some downstairs.”
You crawl over to him and stand on your knees, continuing to open his buttons. “I’m on birth control, Javi. And I haven’t been with anyone, so…”
Javi looks at you with his doe eyes, filled with lust, while you shrug his shirt off him. Are you saying…?
“I want you bare.”
Well, fuck me. If Javi weren’t already hard as rock before, then he doesn’t know what this is now. He’s never been bare with anyone since… who cares. It doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters except you asking him to fuck you raw and now you’re palming him over his pants and literally, the world could be burning at this moment and Javi wouldn’t give a shit about it.
“Want you in my mouth, daddy.”
“No,” Javi groans painfully. There is no way he’s surviving tonight. “I’ll come on your face if you do that now.”
“Want that too.” You pepper him with kisses across his chest while you undo his belt and unzip his trousers. When you finally lower his pants along with his boxer briefs, your mouth waters. He’s bigger than you thought he’d be when you grabbed him in his car last week. You need him in you, right fucking now.
But first thing first… he’s gonna pay for not making you come. You’ve been so desperate since the theater and by the looks of it, he’s no different. The head of his cock is an angry red and leaking with precum. You swipe it clean with your tongue and Javi’s hand immediately finds the back of your neck. You take his hard erection in your hand and start to jerk him off slowly, building a pace that you know will drive him mad. Javi has his eyes closed and his eyebrows furrowed deep, holding back from thrusting into your hand.
You lick a long stripe from his balls to his tip and elicit a low moan from him. It’s addicting, listening to him. You do it a few more times until you feel his fingers curling on you.
“Javi…” You let go of him and kiss your way up his stomach instead. He involuntarily sucks in and opens his eyes to you slipping his cock past your lips. He doesn’t stop you. The groan that comes out of him is so sinful it’s going to be permanently etched in your brain. His hand on your neck finds your ass and kneads it when you start working him slowly with your mouth. You gag a little when he hits the back of your throat. He’s a lot to take in; you don’t even get to the hilt, and you count your blessings for that.
You’re suddenly pulled away with a pop. He’s throbbing and from his breathing, he doesn’t look like he’s going to last long.
“You’re so big, Javi. Does it feel as good as it tastes?”
You start to take him into your mouth again but he grabs your arm to haul you to the center of the bed. He settles himself on you, rubbing up and down your opening with his cock. You start to meet his movement but he pins your hips down, restricting you.
“Come on, we’ve waited long enough,” you whine.
He lets his weight fall on you completely and hums his answer with his face pressed against the crook of your neck. He keeps thrusting on your pussy and you’re so, so, so close to sobbing from need.
“Javi,” you whine again into his ear, arms clinging to his broad form.
Javi sits on his knees, watching you writhe underneath him. If he doesn’t come within one minute of being inside you, he’ll consider it a miracle. It’s his own fault for dragging it out this long and now he’s the one moments away from exploding. It’s worth it because you’re so fucking beautiful being all needy for him.
He grabs you closer by your calves and wraps your legs around his waist, cock notched right at your entrance. Javi pushes forward and the sound he makes when he enters you is the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. He works his way in slowly, letting you accommodate his girth. It’s a painful yet exquisite stretch.
You’ve never felt this full in your life. You’re not without experience, but the way Javi is filling you is something else. It’s not just his size, although that is a big part of it. It’s the way he’s gazing at you with so much tenderness. The way he’s moving as if he’s worshiping you with every stroke. The way he’s savoring this moment that you two have been waiting a ridiculously long time for. Your heart is full of–
“Baby. I don’t think I’ll last long.” Javi says with a strain in his voice. He’s holding back, with this languid (honestly, lazy) pace and he’s clenching his hands so hard you can see the veins in his forearms protruding.
“I don’t care, Javi, just fuck me.”
He groans and starts to build a pace, gripping your thighs open. You throw your head back and hold on to the pillow closest to you. Javi’s eyes are glued to your tits bouncing by the impact of his thrusts and he tries to think of something, anything, except for the way your perfect body is responding to him right now.
He remembers what you said about being essentially celibate since your last relationship and he doesn’t fight his curiosity. There’s a primal side of him that needs to know and the thought of your pathetic past conquests should buy him a couple more minutes, right?
“How long has it been for you, honey?”
“Mmmmm…” You roll your head back in pleasure, seemingly not hearing his question.
”When I ask something, I want an answer, sweetheart.”
“Two years? Mor–”
“Fucking unbelievable. This pussy should be fucked everyday, fuck.”
He curses between hard thrusts. Your mouth drops at his dirty talk and his pace increases to full on pounding. It doesn’t work. The thought of nothing having been inside you except for your own fingers and now him for that long is awakening something feral in him.
You yelp. “Oh fuck yes, Javi…”
“Yeah? You’re gonna let me fuck this everyday?”
“Whenever you want. Please.”
“You’re so needy.” He looks down to where you’re joined before grabbing your ass and driving into you even harder. “So needy and sloppy and so. fucking. tight.”
The moan you let out is downright the filthiest thing he’s ever heard. And you? You barely hear his deep, delicious voice over your own moans and the sounds your bodies make. You can’t do anything but take, take, and take. You wish you could reciprocate but what leaves your mouth is only a blabber of cries and whines.
“You want to come?” Javi’s question snaps you out of your daze.
“Please, baby.”
“Then touch yourself and come.”
Javi pulls out of you and you gasp from the sudden emptiness. You sit up to reach for him but he moves further to the edge of the bed, his hand fisting his cock and pinching the end slowly, trying not to lose it.
“Javi, what the fuck?” You exclaim in despair.
“Let me see you touch yourself, babe. Come like that or not at all.”
“Oh my God, Javi.” You fall back on the bed in frustration. There is no way this is happening. “No…”
“Come, and I’ll fuck you again.”
You start reluctantly touching yourself slowly, hoping he’ll take pity on you and take over again. But he stays where he is, looking at your face, not even your body.
“If that’s how you touch yourself, no wonder you’re unsatisfied. Come on, make yourself feel good.”
You groan in defeat and he chuckles at you amusingly. Fine. You dip two fingers into your pussy and start moving them the way you usually do, and your other hand drops to your clit to rub it with your index finger. Your peak is approaching in no time, between your own familiar movements and watching Javi watching you. You start to arch off the bed when you’re close and suddenly your hands are taken off you and you’re flipped onto your hands and knees.
Javi thrusts back inside you from behind without warning and resumes pounding you in earnest. “That’s right baby, take it… like you wanted… so fucking good for me…”
You come with a silent scream and Javi lets out a pained moan from you fluttering and spasming around his cock. His hands grip your waist to the point of almost hurting and he keeps steadily thrusting into you to seek his own release while you ride yours out.
He pulls you up against his chest by wrapping his arm around your tits and keeps hitting that devastatingly delicious spot inside you. With a few thrusts it starts you up again and you grind back on him, feeling the bump of his stomach on the small of your back with each contact. You look over your shoulder at his face and see that he’s in absolute bliss, but there’s something else there that’s a little bit… off. You don’t get to think too much about it once his fingers reach down to your clit and you start to tighten around his cock again, your hand reaching back to grab at his curls.
“I’m coming, sweetheart. Fuck. Come with me. Come with me, honey.” Javi’s pace grows desperate and he’s so deep, so right inside you that you beat him to it. You shudder in his arms, going limp, but he doesn’t let up. “Tell me where.”
You sigh dreamily while you catch your breath. “Anywhere you want, daddy.”
He pulls out and pushes you lightly to get back on your hands and knees and spills himself on the small of your back and between your cheeks. You lay down flat on your stomach, evening out your breaths, inhaling in the mixed scent of the two of you.
It takes Javi a couple of minutes to collect himself before he kisses along your shoulder, up to your neck, your jaw, and finally your lips.
“You’re so fucking good, babe. Tightest pussy I’ve ever fucked.”
You giggle tiredly and lean onto him, welcoming his kisses while he cleans you up with his discarded shirt. “I need a drink. Then I want to ride you.”
✧
For the next four days, you barely leave the bed except to eat or use the bathroom. Just like Javi had promised. He didn’t get to cook dinner for you yet, because it’ll take too much time away from being inside of you. Everyday it’s like clockwork: one of you wakes the other up with your mouth, followed by breakfast in bed, or vice versa. Then shower, where he eats you out - he insists that he’s making up for your lost time. In the afternoons, Javi does some work while you read scripts or his books or nap. Then dinner, followed by fucking each other to sleep. Sometimes you interrupt him mid-task or wake him up in the middle of the night just because. And repeat.
It’s pure fucking bliss.
✧✧
“Javi. Fuck.”
“What’s up?”
“Everything is shutting down. Everything. Where the fuck are you?” Óscar’s voice sounds panicked through the phone.
“I’m on leave, remember? What do you mean?”
“Strike, Javi. It’s all over the news. We gotta reschedule everything. We’re not even allowed to do anything.”
Javi swiftly opens his news app and sure enough, Óscar’s right. How did he miss this? Oh, right.
“Javi!!!”
“I’m here.”
“What do we do?”
Javi thinks for a moment but absolutely nothing comes to mind. This is completely novel for him. “We’ll figure it out. How long is this supposed to go on?”
“Two weeks. A month tops.”
“So there’s nothing to do. Keep everyone around, keep everyone updated, the usual.”
“We can’t, Javi. We’re not allowed to. We should just let them go for now, go see their families. They can’t be employed right now, same for us, by the way.”
“Dammit,” Javi runs a hand over his face. He’s only ever shut down production once, during The Last Sicario, when a rival family member felt misrepresented by his depiction of them and sent death threats to him and the crew. “Call it. Keep me posted.”
“Sure. One more thing, have you heard from our little starlet? I tried calling her all day, and her PA couldn’t reach her either. Her hotel said she’s not there.”
“Staying with a friend, maybe?” Javi feigns cluelessness.
“Can you try her? Let her know we’ll help her figure it out while this is going on.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Thanks, hermano.”
Guilt overcomes him once he hangs up and looks at you sleeping soundly, and naked, next to him. He’s betraying the closest friend he ever had and there would be no coming back from this if he found out.
✧✧✧
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The Room is on Fire, Invisible Smoke
Soft!Billy Russo x Female reader
Part 2/2
Warnings: (kinda major) sexual hints, lots of drinking
Words: it's a lot longer than I was expecting... 3.3 k
Part 1 here
gif not mine
You sat with your head in your hands, wondering how to get Billy back. He was never really yours to begin with so then why did it feel like you had lost him? So he was too mad to even talk to you but not enough to come save you from a baseless panic attack? What was he even mad about? You were honestly afraid to know the answer. You were sure that you had lost the only good thing in your life, no thanks to your stubborn self. If only you would have fessed up instead of waiting around for him.
You leaned against the door, hearing Bill walk away from the house he had spent countless nights in. In separate beds, of course, except for that one night... Shaking your head of the thoughts of that night, you decided to go for a shower instead and get ready for work. You had a long day ahead of you filled with torturous colleagues and a boss who loved to micromanage.
You had sworn that all you needed from the company was the work experience of three years and then you would fly off to London for a better position and salary. With the three years almost done, you were closer to your dreams than ever. Especially now that you had destroyed the only thing keeping you back in New York.
You could feel yourself physically filling up with dread as you drove closer and closer to your office. It had been a long time now but the feeling never seemed to go away. Bracing yourself to endure another never-ending day, you entered the office building and scanned your ID card. The swivel gate let you walk in to what you thought hell looked and felt like.
'Just till 5...' you muttered to yourself and managed to get in the elevator before it closed. It was so crowded, you barely had any place to breathe, let alone stand.
'Cutting it awfully close, again, I see,' you heard someone say from the back.
Jim. You would have recognised that voice anywhere. Not because you loved him. But because you hated him - and that was an understatement. He had done everything possible to make your professional life miserable. He would steal credit, talk shit about you to your boss and the others and would constantly look down on you. He would take every chance he could to humiliate you publicly.
'I clocked in 18 minutes early, you dickhead,' you whispered the last part without turning back. You walked off the elevator before the doors had even opened up completely and practically threw your bag on the desk. Jim had the capacity to ruin your entire day with just one single sentence. And the worst part was that he knew he had this effect on you so he would do it even more, just of out of spite.
You threw yourself into work to distract yourself from the thoughts of Billy and Jim and your stupid office. It was a pretty uneventful day until your boss came up to the desk right behind you and congratulated Jim for submitting all his work perfectly within the deadline. It would have been fine if that would have been it. But no, your misogynist boss just had to come to you and praise his work and ask you to 'take inspiration from him'.
That day, you didn't even wait till 5 to clock out and left storming out the big glass door at 4 pm. Rushing home, you changed into your comfiest pajamas and grabbed a big tub of ice cream. You were on your fifth episode of The Vampire Diaries when you took a deep breath and turned off Netflix.
You were tired of being stuck in this loop. With your professional life terrible and your love life being uncertain, no thanks to Billy's unwillingness to confess or agree to anything, you wanted to just run away. You grabbed your phone and were about to call him to sort everything out before realising that you didn't care. Well, you did but it was emotionally exhausting. Choosing to put that aside, you put on your best, little-est, black dress and left the house.
It was usually Billy who took you out to all these fancy bars but you were sick and tired of being dependent on him. Or on anyone else for that matter. You wanted to go out tonight, drink till the early hours of the morning and be a woman who needed no one. A strong, powerful woman with red lips and revealing little black dresses. Confidently, you grabbed a seat at one of the shadiest bars of New York.
While ordering 3 tequila shots, you saw the bartender clearly staring at your chest before looking away awkwardly and getting you your drinks. You had gulped down all three one after the other in a single minute when you heard a bar stool being pulled closer to yours.
'Please get the lady's next drink on me,' a handsome man in a black shirt said, looking straight at you, not breaking you eye contact.
'In that case' you addressed the bartender. 'I'll have your most expensive drink please.' You winked at the beautiful stranger. 'All thanks to the gracious gentleman,' you smirked, rubbing your hand lightly on his chiseled arm.
See? This was fun. This was easy. Flirting with men, knowing exactly what you wanted and getting that because the man would reciprocate as well. Reciprocate? Hell, he initiated the whole thing so who were you to back down and deny yourself a handsome man with a sharp jawline, hair of a God and the voice of a rockstar.
You touched him as much as you could, shamelessly flirting- it was your guilty pleasure. And why wouldn't it be? It was not like Billy was waiting for you. And you weren't waiting for him either. Not anymore.
You were on your third glass of scotch when your senses started going numb and you could feel your inhibitions lowering. It was all fun and games and you intended to keep it that way. His hand was on your thigh now and it kept moving upwards every once in a while. You didn't plan to stop it either. Besides, the night was still young.
Being with this name-less stranger was so much better than being with Billy. At least that way, you could just have fun and then forget all about it the next morning. Unlike with Billy. Every word, every moment spent with him seemed to cling on to you. You couldn't get rid of it no matter how much you tried. Even his darkness, his shadows seemed alluring to you. As if it was inviting you in. And the truth was, you did not mind being swallowed up whole by his darkness. He, however, did not want that.
'Lost in thoughts, beautiful?' the stranger asked. His raspy voice sent a chill up your spine. 'I have a few ways to bring you back to earth,' he said, moving his hands even farther up your thighs, dangerously close to the hem of your dress.
Your hand moved from his back to the back of his collar, gripping it tightly as your eyes closed in anticipation.
'It might look because of the alcohol but I do have quite an effect on you,' he said as your answer was let out by a shaky moan.
If this is what destruction felt like, you were ready to embrace it and let it consume you. It was only when you wanted to look at his beautiful face that you opened your eyes and your sight fell on your drink. And you were pretty sure it had changed it's color.
You were drunk anyway, you thought. What's a roofied drink more? You gulped the drink in one go and before you knew it, you were kissing the stranger, your hands all over his face and neck. It was only when you were kissing him that you realised how good it felt. How good it was to kiss someone wantonly and having someone kiss you back.
"Give me a minute, will you? And clear the tab while I am gone." You said, breaking the kiss and walking away without waiting for his answer.
You found a relatively quiet corner of the bar and pulled out your phone. This was a victory moment for you and Billy needed to know. He needed to know how there are others who want you and you are willing to give yourself to them completely.
It had rang barely thrice before he received your call.
"You know what, Bills?" Your words slurred. "I am kissing the most handsome man on the planet and it's not you... And it feels soooo good, you have no idea...."
"Y/N, are you drunk? Where are -"
"His hands are working magic, Billy... I am pretty sure he put something in my drink but I don't care!" You practically screamed. "At least someone wants me... And I am gonna take him back to my place and let him do things to me, Bills... You're welcome to watch if you want but just know..." At this point, you had lost all train of thought. "You had me and lost me and I am gonna have so much fun with him tonight, Bills..."
You hung up abruptly and stumbled your way back to the bar.
"Let's go," you said and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door of the club.
"Where?" He asked.
"My place," you said, pushing him against the wall outside the bar and grazing your fingers gently over his neck. "My turn to bring you back to earth..."
He was about to lean in closer and kiss you but you moved away and called for a cab. The entire cab ride home, for some inexplicable reason, you sat as far away from him as possible. All of a sudden, you weren't liking his touch anymore or the way he was looking at you. It seemed almost... Animalistic. The hunger in his eyes, the impatience in his hands, they all seemed very obvious.
You were fine in the dim lights of the bar and the mood that had been set. You were on your way to a night you were sure you would never forget and yet, every part of you felt uncomfortable. Maybe if it would have been Billy -
You did not want to think about him. At all. So choosing to focus on the handsome man next to you, you moved in closer to him, practically on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck.
"Oh, the things I am going to do you," you whispered in his ear and felt his hand removing the strap of your dress as he kissed your shoulder. "Patience, baby," you practically moaned into his ear and felt his grip tighten on your back.
You wasted no time in getting down from the cab and pulling him towards your building. He had started kissing you in the elevator before you were even at the house, trying to unlock the door. Something about it felt wrong. As if your mind wasn't completely in it and his touch didn't feel right anymore. However, you had made up your mind and were going to take this stranger home, no matter what.
It was only when you were too busy kissing him to unlock your door that you heard someone clear their throat.
"Busy much?"
You would have recognised that voice out of a lineup. Billy.
"Go away man," your lover said, paying no heed to him and continued to kiss you.
Your eyes, however, were now on Billy. His face had seemed to go red and he was clenching his jaw.
Before you knew it, Billy was separating the two of you forcibly.
"Why don't you go away?" He asked angrily. "Given the fact that I am Y/N's boyfriend and you should leave before I beat you to a pulp for putting something in her drink."
"Geez, whatever fucked up agreement you two have, I am out," he said and turned around to leave, buttoning up his shirt's top buttons again.
"No, wait, don't go, he's not my boyfriend!" you cried, trying to follow after him but drunk you on heels was a bad idea and you would have fallen if you had run after him. "Stranger!" You cried, trying to stop him. "Handsome man! Loveerrrrrr!!! Hey, black shirt!! Come back, I'll show you a good time," you giggled, almost falling down.
You allowed yourself to lean against the wall and turned around, only to find yourself face to face with Billy.
Rolling your eyes at him, you made your way back to the door and unlocking it, went inside, slamming the door on his face. He, however, had other plans and followed you inside. "You're NOT my boyfriend, Billy. What do you even want? Why did you send him away? I was having fun!"
"Are you crazy?" He practically screamed but lowered his volume and went to get you a glass of water.
"What were you about to do, Y/N?" He asked worriedly. "Are you really that determined to get yourself into trouble?"
"It wasn't trouble, Bills," you answered. "I just wanted to feel wanted for one freaking night."
"You brought a strange man home, Y/N! You were drunk and practically all over him. What if -"
"It is better than waiting around for you, Bills! I did everything I could for you! Hell, I was even ready to sleep with you! But what did that lead to? Nothing!"
"You pushed me away, Y/N. I didn't want to sleep with you because I didn't want to ruin what we have so you responded by pushing me away..." He replied, seeming tired now.
He knew it was the most cliche excuse but he cherished the bond he shared with you. And a meaningless one night stand would have ruined it. He couldn't risk that.
"Y/N, I-" He started but you weren't in the living room anymore. He found you instead in the kitchen, drinking directly from the vodka bottle.
"Whoa, okay, you need to stop," he said, gently taking away the bottle from your hand.
"You need to stop," you repeated, words barely making sense at this point. "You need to take inspiration from him... You're late... You're crazy... This is what my life has come to, Bills!" You screamed. "My work life is a big joke but I have to do it because I want to be independent! You on the other hand .. I don't have to keep going in circles with you because I am done, Bills! If you don't want me, I will find someone who does! What don't you get about it?"
"So you will intentionally put yourself in danger Y/N? Knowing that you will regret it for the rest of you life?"
"I don't fucking care, Billy! I don't care!"
This was the point when you finally allowed yourself to sit down and cry. "I got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you, Bills.... But what even is the point? It's better to just be alone than to hurt and be hurt... Enough is enough... I - I have loved you with all my heart, Bills... But there's no point because - because you don't... And I just, I can't give you my heart... It's like, each night I sleep, I know I will wake up in a burning room and be surrounded by an invisible smoke but that smoke is YOU... You make me so helpless, Billy. I - I don't know what to do. Every part of me screams out that you might feel the same way but nothing ever shows it... I am a mess! Look at me... This uncomfortable dress, the make up I don't even like... Each day, all day, I keep asking myself, who could ever leave but then who could stay? And you know what happens whenever I look at you? I feel like you could stay... But you never do, Billy... You never do..." You were sobbing by this point.
"There are times, you know," you continue, wiping your eyes. "What if I don't need you? What if I am alright right here? By myself. It's better than acting like a child who never grew up and will do anything to get your attention but I am sick and tired of it, Bills... Each night, I go to sleep begging you to help me hold on to you... But you just don't care... And I am better off... I really am..."
Billy was not expecting this. He had come prepared to scare away the random guy you were bringing home and then putting you to bed. He did not come prepared for you sobbing on your kitchen floor, drunk beyond words and spilling out your secrets.
He gently helped you up and took you to your bedroom. "I am gonna wait outside," he said, talking your face in his hands and gently wiping away your tears. "Why don't you take all the make up that you don't like off and freshen up and I'll be right on the other side of the door?"
Too exhausted to say or even think anything, you worked like a robot, getting in the shower and changing into comfier clothes.
The moment Billy heard your door lock click, he knocked and entered with a jug of water and Advil. "Come here," he said, leading you to your own bed and sat down with you. "I am so sorry, Y/N," he said, caressing your cheeks with his thumb. "That I ever made you feel like I didn't love you... Because that's all I have ever done and that's all I am ever going to do... And I will probably die doing it... I am sorry that I let you keep building up walls against me... I am sorry that I hurt you over and over and over again... I am sorry I got mad at you for meeting other men when I should have put in efforts to be a man who deserves you... I am sorry that you kept suffering every single day and I only watched from afar instead of holding you through it... I don't know how much of it will you remember tomorrow but I promise you Y/N, this moment onwards, you are never going through anything alone ever again. Not shitty bosses or shitty colleagues, not shitty days and especially not shitty men. I promise I will be there to love you through them all, no matter what... Because I really do love you, Y/N... More than I imagined was humanly possible... My heart fills up to the brim whenever I look at you, Y/N... Every time you laugh, the world seems a lot better and it feels like nothing can ever go wrong... And I am so sorry that I never told you how precious you are to me... You are the light of life, Y/N... I love you so freaking much..."
He placed a small kiss on you head and felt you melt into his arms.
"I wanna sleep, Bills..." You sighed.
He was afraid how much of it were you going to remember but your health was what mattered to him at the moment. He turned off the lights and gently tucked you in.
"I know you're an independent woman, Y/N and you don't need anyone. But I promise that if I cannot be the light that guides you, then I promise to sit with you in the dark... And I hope you always remember that..." He kissed your hand before walking towards the door.
"Stay," you whispered sleepily, your eyes barely open. "Please..."
And stay he did.
---------------------------------------------------------
Taglist: @dreamyjcel @doriangray-lover @el-de-phi
#Spotify#billy russo#billy russo fluff#billy russo x reader#taylor swift#the punisher#the archer#ben barnes#ben barnes fic#ben barnes fanfiction#ben barnes imagine#ben barnes fluff
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Hey hey heyy :) I see that you do a lot Mauga x Sombra that is become soo addict now..I just want to know , what if one day Mauga would just , don't know, disappears from a mission and only come back to the Talon like..3 months after ??... did Sombra just get use or she would be a little anxious for the big man
(Ps: I BEG FOR FANFICTION WITH THIS DYNAMIC PLEASE GOD :') )
Talofa!~
Yes, join me... ♡♡♡
I may have gotten a little carried away with this, but here you go~ ♡
Thank you anon!!~
“Gone? What do you mean he’s gone?!”
“He’s a liability… he’s better off gone…”
Reaper snarled, his smoking silhouette disappearing off of the drop shop after touchdown back at the base. Sombra stood on the landing pad, a mixture of anger and confusion, glaring after the cloaked figure as he vanished from view.
She hadn’t been on the mission, but her partner in crime - Mauga - had been, and finding out he hadn’t returned with the rest of the squad made a knot in her stomach.
Sure, he had a habit of disappearing off and following his own rules on missions, but he always came back. She’d gotten used to his free nature in the time she had known him and admired it, even if it did drive her mad at times. This time would be the same, right?
It wasn’t hidden that many of the superiors of Talon didn’t like Mauga, Reaper especially found his erratic and chaotic nature difficult. His charisma and toothy smiles doing little to win him over. Sombra too found him challenging at first, but after being forced to work together, she eventually understood his charming facade and even enjoyed his company, favouring him over many others. In fact, she had grown attached to him, seeking him out, growing excited when she knew they’d be paired up again.
Her face contorted into a snarl, she clenched her fists, trying to keep her short temper contained. Reaper’s lack of concern for Mauga getting under her skin more than she thought it ever would.
“Such a shame, I was beginning to see his potential.”
Moira lamented as she sauntered past, hands folded neatly behind her back, glancing down at Sombra with a slight smirk. Any time she began to show interest in anyone was always a concern.
“Que te den, Moira…” she snapped, turning on her heels and back to her private quarters. Before she had even left the landing pad, she opened up her program in a bright burst of purple holograms around her, beginning her search for any pings and all cameras in operation at the location he was last known to be.
Their mission had gone bad, leaving little to nothing in the wake of their attack making it more difficult. Of course it had gone wrong, she wasn’t there, she thought to herself.
But, If anyone could find him, it was her.
Her heart raced, pounding in her chest as she searched, eyes darting across the multiple new glowing windows in front of her. Why was she so concerned with his whereabouts? Why did her chest ache at the idea of never seeing him again?
Slowly her temper simmered down, but it was replaced instead with concern and fear.
Back in her room she kept looking, biting her lip when she saw the destruction Reaper’s squad had brought on the factory they had descended upon. Mauga had caused more damage and survived worse. There was no way he was harmed or worse.
“Where are you, Cariño…” she muttered quietly to herself.
After hours and hours, long into the night, she finally paused her search. Nothing had come up, no leads and no sign of him.
Curling up into herself, she hugged her knees as she looked up at the screens in front of her from her desk chair. Stills of surveillance cameras of the last known sightings of him flickered next to endless sequencing of locations and names linked to him. He could be anywhere. He had to be.
She felt lost. Her heart ached.
Pining for him in a way she never thought she would.
Closing her eyes and resting her chin on her knees, releasing a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding. His last words to her kept repeating in her mind, now more than 24 hours prior now;
~
“You better come back in one piece, amigo.”
She called out to him as he stepped up into the drop shop, chuckling as he watched her with crossed arms scowling at him playfully.
“Don’t worry, Sombs, I’ll always come back to you”.
Flashing her a wink with a smile that made her heart fluttered, he disappeared behind the closing shuttle doors. She stayed until they disappeared from view, not knowing that it would be the last time she’d see him for a while.
~
Back in her room she looked back up at his profile image, wishing that she could just pull him out of the hologram. Sombra wanted him back at base, she wanted him home, with her.
Her cheeks flushed at the idea of him returning just for her. The idea that he was only sticking around at Talon for her. She hoped that was the case, and her needless worrying was for nothing. He would just saunter in like he always did, smug and confident, teasing her for wondering where he was.
It hadn’t even been that long, and she was acting like a worried wife. He would come back. Hell, she had disappeared without a word, why was it so different for him to just disappear? She refused to let herself think it was because she cared deeply about him. That it was maybe because she had caught feelings for him. No. They were just close friends. Amigos. Partners in crime, like he said. Nothing more. Right?
But days passed, which turned to weeks, then months. He hadn’t been seen for 3 whole months with no communication or sightings.
Her faith in him returning to her was beginning to wane. Just like everyone she had formed a bond with, they eventually faded, pushed her away, used her or even died. There was a reason she was so distant with others, rarely bonding with anyone past needing something or a common goal.
Of course he was gone, just when she began to feel something more. Maybe she was just a fool, playing into his hands and his game, trusting him was the first mistake. Maybe his smiles and affection were just a facade. Not that it was anymore more than friendship. Maybe just a crush, she would kid herself, overthinking every interaction they ever had. He never left her mind and it was driving her mad.
“You’d think a man of that size would be hard to miss..” Widow sneered one day on a mission, grumbling again after his name had been mentioned yet again by the hacker.
She was right. How had he vanished?
But then again, he had a nasty habit of sneaking up on targets, surprising them and his teammates with how silent he could be. He was an excellent tracker. Even sneaking up on Baptiste was a feat in itself, and it still impressed her when she found out he had rolled into town without a second glance.
“If he’s still alive….” Reaper growled, catching a glare from Sombra through her holograms as she scanned the building opposite them.
Gritting her teeth, she tried to ignore his comment, still believing he was alive. “It would take more than that to kill him, pendejo, and you know it..”
All she received was a rattling grow in response as he evaporated into smoke and slipped away toward their target. Widow tutted, muttering something to herself before grappling away, her voice then picking up through Sombra’s earpiece.
“Forget him, focus on the task”.
~
The mission had gone without a hitch, perfectly executed, and they were ready for extraction. Widow and Reaper had already made their way out, leaving Sombra to find her own way out through the endless corridors. Teleporting out through the communications centre of the building, not without stealing what she could from the motherboards first, she appeared into the outside air with a digital flash.
Over the coms in her ear, she could hear updates being relayed from the dropship approaching, but a faint crackle made her pause. Standing still she waited, listening for the noise until it sounded louder, closer. The cold air shifted around her and she realised she wasn’t alone anymore.
Vanishing, she quickly spun around, reappearing now armed and inches away from the figure who had quietly approached her. The barrel of her machine pistol aimed at his throat, her eyes a deep glowing purple, Sombra glared until she recognised the intense eyes staring back at her.
Her expression softened, lowering her weapon with a soft gasp. “Mauga..?”
“That’s quite the greeting, Aitu'' he grinned, holding his large hands out in a casual manner, chuckling and she stood motionless. “Sorry to keep you waitin-..”
Cutting him off with a sharp slap to the face, his face instantly dropped from a wide grin to a tight pout. It hurt her hand more than it would ever hurt him, but it was instinct and the only response she could give him.
Slowly blinking, he glared down at her, her eyes burning white with matching intensity.
“Hey! Lighten up, what was that for-..”
“¡Maldita sea! Where have you been?!”
She was angry, but her voice betrayed her, less of a threat and more of a plea. It shocked him, seeing how distressed she seemed about seeing him. He simply stared at her as she began to rant at him, unintelligible cursing in Spanish before throwing her hands up at him, watching him expectantly.
“I’ve been waiting for you! You said you’d come back to me!” Breathing heavily, Sombra stared up at him, her rage beginning to wane, her expression now pained and concerned. “Where were you…”
Taken aback by her reaction, he looked away from her for a moment, the look in her eyes making his chest ache. Had she really been waiting on him?
“I just, y’know. Needed time to recuperate.… I didn’t think… me coming back would matter that much to you..”
“Idiota, of course you matter to me!”
Meeting her eyes again with a softer expression, Mauga saw for the first time just how much he meant to her. In that moment he actually felt wanted.
“I matter to you?”
His raised eyebrow and smirk threatening to take over his face made her look away, her scowl returning along with a flush across her face. Replacing her pistol back into it’s holster, she folded her arms, turning away from him to avoid seeing the smugness radiating from him.
“Yeah! Y-yeah.. You do, okay?”
But she was wrong. A hand gently placed on her shoulder, turning her around to face him. Reluctantly, she looked up at him, feeling the heat rise in her skin when he tilted her chin up with a finger.
“You’re cute when you’re angry..” His voice was low and raspy, and it sent a chill up her spine. He’d never looked at her that way before and it made her heart race. “I’m sorry I left and didn’t say anything. But, I’m here now.”
Unable to reply, biting her lip hard, she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his torso. She couldn’t look at him anymore, knowing her face would be a dead give away to how he was affecting her. No one had ever made her feel like this. Her heart pounded heavily, feeling his large arms wrap around her protectively. His skin was warm, and the rhythm of his two hearts brought her comfort.
“I promise I won’t run off again.” he murmured against her hair, nuzzling against it, making her smile. “I’m scared that next time you might actually hunt me down.”
“There won’t be a next time, puta, I’ve already put a tracker on you..” she mumbled against his chest.
Chuckling, he shifted himself, feeling her hand pull away from his belt as she indeed left a small glowing purple tracker on him. He didn’t doubt she actually would, she always kept her word. But, part of it made him glad that someone actually wanted to have him around. That through all his elusiveness and chaotic nature, she still cared and wanted him.
“Good, because I’m not going anywhere without you now.”
There was no one he’d rather have tracking him and no one he’d rather come home to.
#answered#fanfic#writing#Mauga#mauga x Sombra#sombra#overwatch#overwatch fanfiction#mauga overwatch#sombra overwatch#maugaloa malosi#olivia colomar#ow#ow 2
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in the clouds with you
Day 1 of Kinktober- High Sex
[prompts courtesy of the lovely @kroas-adtam ]
Aurora and Aeon (they both have big dicks-- cause I can do what I want) ||||||||||||||| anal, knotting, mentions of breeding
Summary: Rain gets them high and Aeon rides herrrrrr. That's all you have to know.
below for your reading pleasure (or also on ao3)
Aurora and Aeon are constantly joined at the hip, strolling through venues and the abbey with their tails entwined or their hands around each other's waists. They can't go anywhere without the other. So when Rain offers up a few joints to Aeon while they’re sitting in the common room with nothing to do, of course Aeon asks if Aurora can join.
Rain gets them started, holding his lighter to the neat joint Mountain had rolled and blowing out the flame when it burns a little too far. He gives himself the first hit, drawing in that earthy air before passing it to Aeon who is comfortably laying in Aurora’s lap.
Aeon turns his head, not wanting to risk getting ash on his face, before hitting it. He breathes in until his vessel’s still fresh lungs burn from the smoke, the acrid air making him cough and sputter. He manages to pass the joint into Aurora’s awaiting fingers. His eyes track her deft fingers as they raise the joint to those lips that Aeon thinks are eternally soft. If the smoke burns her lungs, she doesn't let on– she breathes it in easily and exhales it just as smoothly.
The joint makes it rounds and before they know it, it's burnt down to nothing. Rain starts to light a second, which somehow gets smoked down to nothing faster than he thought it would’ve. Before long, a third is lit. Rain has done most of the smoking so far, and it's quickly becoming really obvious. Aurora has surprisingly managed to keep up with him.
Aeon on the other hand, is absolutely losing his mind. He’s had to skip on more than a few rotations, being on the verge of greening out since they finished the first joint. He feels like the air around him is lighter, warmer. His eyes are held shut and he can't seem to find the ability to open them. All he can hope for now is a quick comedown. He buries his head in Aurora’s sweatshirt to try and ground himself. His overly warm face presses into the soft fabric and it makes him feel fuzzy in the best way- he swears he’s never felt anything this earth-shatteringly good.
He loses track of time and eventually, with the ruffling of the loveseat and the squeaking hinges of the door, he pieces together that Rain has up and left. He’s alone now, alone with her. Between the weed and his company setting him on edge, it feels like he’s got a mouthful of sand.
They sit together in silence, with the peace only being interrupted by the soft sounds of their breathing. It’s a nice moment, calm and quiet.
Except for the fact that Aeon keeps moving.
Well, he’s more so writhing. Each squirm of his loose body digs his weight into her lap, and more importantly, digs his weight right onto her cock. She manages to stave off any reaction, thinking of the boring sermons Copia has been giving lately. She thinks of the black mass they all have to wake up for at an ungodly hour tomorrow. But he wont stop moving. His head keeps knocking over her lap where she’s quickly filling out, cock pressing against her panties. She hopes to Satan that he can’t feel it.
Her prayers fall on deaf ears.
Aeon mumbles her name into her stomach, making sure to nudge his head against her now very obvious problem.
“Quit it,” She whines, as she tips her head onto the back of the couch. The pretty noise he draws out of her is to make him want to continue, and definitely has him tenting in his sweatpants.
He pulls his head back, looking up along the column of her neck. “Let me help Rory,” he whispers. “I’ll make you feel good.”
She answers by bringing a hand up and lacing it into Aeon’s soft curls. Her thumb smooths over the base of a horn and Aeon rumbles under her touch, purring quietly, focusing on the warmth blooming in his chest. He’s close to letting out a breathy moan when she grabs his hair tight and tugs. She catches sight of his strained, red rimmed eyes.
“Ride me.”
Neither of them know how the other manages, but suddenly Aurora has her pants shoved down her thighs and Aeon has his tossed somewhere around the room. He’s sat in her lap, straddling her milky thighs and rocking his hips up so his cock slots against hers. Each time his cock glides against hers, he watches more and more slick dribble out of the reddened tip of her cock. He’s sure she could cure his dry mouth with how wet she is. He’d clean her up with each drag of his tongue and drink it down.
A strangled cry slips from his lips as he lets his imagination run from him.
Aurora’s hands find their way to Aeon’s hips and use them to hold him steady.
“Don't tease.” She barks, just stern enough so that Aeon knows she isn't playing any games. He listens and sits up just enough to line his hole up with her throbbing cock.
“It’ll feel so good Rory,” He says as he starts to drop his hips, pushing the blunt head past his tight ring of muscle. Aeon lets his head find solace in the side of Aurora’s neck. He takes a particularly deep breath when he gets halfway onto her, and oh what a mistake.
She smells sweet, and clean and intoxicating and any other word his sober mind would usually think of. But clouded by lust and substances, all he really knows is that he can't get enough of it.
He presses his nose into her damp skin and he breathes in again. It damn near gets him higher than the weed. It’s certainly relaxing him more because suddenly his ass has met her hips again.
“You nice and full baby?” Aurora asks, breathless from the way Aeon is stretched tight around her. Aeon cant speak. Between the weed and the way she has him filled, his tongue is far from being functional so he just nods his head against her shoulder.
Aurora gives him time to adjust, to reckon with the new sensation and Aeon doesn't know if he wants her to pull out or if he needs deeper.
After a while, Aurora comes back down from the high heavens she’s been stuck in and rocks Aeon’s hips, using what little strength she has to chase her pleasure that has so far gone neglected.
“I thought you wanted to make me feel good?” He knows what she rea
Aeon pushes himself up off of her chest and plants his hands on the back of the couch. His head hangs between them with his hair falling in front of his face. It hides the way he’s got his lip in between his teeth as he feels her shift inside of him.
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” She says through gritted teeth.
He musters up the strength to start moving himself and thank Satan he can actually manage it. He grinds himself down onto Aurora, somehow pushing her cock even further each time. Each roll of his hips prods his cock into her belly, adding to the mess of her own slick that has started to dry.
Aeon can hear each breath that's knocked out of Aurora from every bounce, a high pitched stream of ‘ah, ah, ah’s. He doesn't know how long it's been since she carved herself a new home in him, but Aeon starts to feel that familiar bump against his rim on each down stroke. He drags his tongue against the shell of her ear and revels in the salty musk of her sweat on his tongue.
“Make me catch baby,” He breathes against her ear and it makes her shudder.
“Not here,” She struggles through her words. She’d move heaven and earth to pop her knot in and hold him steady as she drained herself into the deepest parts of him, but the small part of her mind not clouded by weed or pleasure tells her that it's a bad idea to do it in the middle of the common room.
“Please, Rory” She scoffs at herself, knowing that the way his voice is dripping in desperation will demolish her resolve. It makes her want to fuck him silly– it makes her want to give him heaven and hell and anything that falls between them. He has her wrapped around her finger and against her better judgment, she thrusts her hips up to match his strokes and she can feel her knot working in a little closer each time.
“Gonna give it to you love,” Her words are split up by her panting breaths. “Get you nice and full for me.”
Aurora keeps her arms wrapped around Aeon’s lithe waist as she hammers into him, hitting that spot that makes his vision white out. He’s twisted up tight and he’s ready to snap.
It doesn't take much more for Aurora to come undone, something in her taking over as she jerks Aeon down with a particularly rough thrust, finally popping her knot in. She yelps as she cums, coating his soft walls with her spend and fucking it in for good measure.
Desperate for his own release, Aeon weaves his hand between them and barely gets a full stroke in before he’s making a mess of Aurora’s sweatshirt. Aurora holds him tight to her chest, gently rocking her hips up as they both ride out their orgasms.
Aeon somehow finds the strength to peel himself off of her just to crash his lips onto hers. It's like he’s a desiccated man with the way he pushes for the kiss, like water is flowing from her lips to his and he has to drink it all down. She lets him push her tongue as far as it can reach, lets him get his fill of her– she’s more than happy to swallow the whimpers that rise from his chest.
Whatever rush, whatever urgency there was before, has up and left. What remains are two fucked up ghouls, basking in their afterglows and riding the high from Mountain’s special strain.
#the band ghost#aurora x phantom#aurora x aeon#nameless ghouls#ghost band fic#ghost band#rain ghoul#aurora ghost#aurora ghoulette#aeon ghost#aeon ghoul#phantom ghoul#phantom ghost#kinktober 2023#ghostober 2023#kroas kinktober#ghost kinktober 2023
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I’m baaaaack!!
Oh I’ve missed your writing, I just got dragged off due to some stuff irl and having a mini hyper fixation on Eddie Munson-
How are you dear? 🥺 everything okay? Drinking water and eating food? I hope you are!
Would love to see if you could possibly do hcs of all the different ways LJ would comfort you and show you how much he loves you as well as how he’d react to his s/o having gift giving and physical touch be her main love languages!
- 🩶 Anon
Laughing Jack comforting a reader who has gift giving/touch as a love language!
i have one other request in the inbox asides this one but i think imma save it for later since im!! tired.. im doing okay-ish? ups and downs, i will admit the past few weeks i havent been feeling right/like myself but im sure its just a funk or something.. gotta drink more water, though </3
hope you enjoy this anon!
jack is very very clingy himself, like in an emotional sense but also a physical sense... if it were efficient he would wrap himself around you and not let go but unfortunately a lot of things in life would get inconvenienced
a majority of that clinginess comes from his abandonment issues, with only a portion just being a part of his personality
very verbal in wanting to keep you around, and while he may not out right say or ask it, i think sometimes he needs some reassurance from you that youre not going to be going anywhere
will take any chance he can to sling his arm around you, usually just draping it over your shoulders lazily while you guys hang around one another
i dont think hes opposed to hand holding, either.. he has very large hands and theyre warm... sharp claws, though
if anything you might have to ask him to give you space because he wants to spent a lot of his free time with you (and hes got a lot of free time if youre the one in possession of that little box of his); i think sometimes he can get a little overwhelming/overstimulating... i love him but personally i think he could be a little much every now and then
loves leaving you notes, usually leaves some candy with them. typically leaves them in places where he knows you'll find them, like by your keys or at the front door... likes leaving them when he knows youre about to leave for work or any other outing... will still leave them if hes the one leaving for something, although its rare that he needs to head out for something and admittedly i cant think of anything he would need to do/get done that would require him to leave briefly
looooooooooves showering you in affection, especially if you guys are in a romantic relationship; peppers you in kisses and snuggles into your cheek.. hugs, lots of hugs. will take any chance he can get to snake his arms around you. please cuddle him
so i think its safe to say that the physical touch bit is more than satisfied, on both ends
as for gift giving, i gotta say my brain is a little melted so i can tell whos giving and whos receiving, so lets do both!
if youre the one giving gifts to jack hes going to be totally over the moon...! a present? for HIM? is it christmas? is it his birthday? ...i dont.. think he has a birthday, actually... but that aside i think he would adore nearly anything you give him since hes totally obsessed with you. likely keeps it within close reach, be it in his own space, his box, or even in his hair since that functions as a means of storage in my silly hc!!
if hes the one giving gifts i think he would try to slink around to figure out what you like.. if its something more than candy then maybe... this would be one of those rare chances where he leaves the house for something, making sure not to be seen of course. which is easy when he can turn into a puff of smoke at will. honestly knowing him hes probably not going to be able to hold himself back from the gifts, so prepare to wake up to a whole pile of them in the morning... might try his hand at wrapping them but due to his claws theres some holes and slashes... but its the thought that counts..!
though if he needs to hide anything for occasions like birthdays hes not going to be able to keep it a secret... if he doesnt blurt it out hes going to be really antsy and keep checking where ever hes hiding the gifts to see if theyve been found or tampered yet
adding this in because i forgot comforting the reader!! right before i was about to hit post!!
if youre feeling anxious about him leaving or being upset with you i think he would reassure you to the best of his ability
tries to keep the mood light, likely cracks jokes while hes holding your hands... might be slightly rocking your hands back and forth or side to side
looks like the type to kiss tears away... though hes gonna have the be careful about it given that cone nose of his... though him attempting to be gentle while keeping his determination to pepper your face with pecks might be enough to crack a smile from you
literally will not leave you alone until youre smiling
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta imagine#creepypasta headcannons#creepypasta headcanons#laughing jack headcannons#laughing jack headcanons#laughing jack x reader#laughing jack imagine#laughing jack x you
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reid + your choice, 29
Sorry it's taken a while to get to this! I totally blanked on any situation for this one, but then I watched minimal loss the other night and inspiration finally struck! Also, sorry it's slightly more hotch's pov than reid's!
29 - Group hug
The explosion behind them takes everyone a little by surprise and were it not for the fact that Rossi had already made it back outside with the last of the women and children, Hotch would have been inside the burning building.
“Aaron! Aaron, you can’t go in there!” the older man exclaims, hands on Hotch’s chest as he tries to hold the other back, to keep him from running head on towards the flames that are already licking their way towards where the survivors and troops are gathered outside.
“I can’t just leave them in there, Dave,” Hotch yells, pushing desperately at the hands that are holding him in place despite the fact that he knows running into a burning building won’t help anyone at this point. If Reid and Morgan were within the range of the blast when the detonation happened, him running into the flames will only serve to give those that have to search the wreckage another body to retrieve.
Reid and Morgan.
As if agents is all they are to him.
As if they’re not the men he goes home with every single evening, and the men he wakes up next to every morning, or every time a case pulls them out of bed in the middle of the night.
As if they won’t always be Spencer and Derek to Aaron.
“I know, but you have to,” Rossi says, clearly putting on his best soothing victims voice, and Hotch wants to hate him for it, but he can’t, because even he knows he needs it right now.
Slowly, Rossi lowers his hands from the other man’s chest, stepping back only when he’s certain that Hotch isn’t going to do something stupid, and then all he can do is stand and watch as the smoke and flames continue to engulf the building in front of them.
But then, from the smoke that’s still swirling around the front of the compound, two figures slowly emerge; hunched over and staggering, but Aaron would recognise those two figures anywhere, in any condition and with however limited visibility available.
It takes everything Aaron has to remain acting as Unit Chief, to not cross the distance between the three of them and assure himself that the men he loves are, in fact, safe and whole.
Watching his partners stagger towards him; their steps agonisingly slow, pausing every few steps to cough as the smoke no doubt burns their lungs, feels like a lifetime, and when Prentiss steps up and hugs Spencer, he can’t stop the stab of jealousy that surges through him despite it being perfectly reasonable, after everything her and him have been through, for her to want the same assurance that he's okay as Aaron himself does.
He sees Derek hanging back, watching their partner hug Emily, and only when she releases him, and he sees that Spencer looks relatively unharmed does Aaron feel his chest beginning to loosen.
He won’t be fully satisfied until he’s had the paramedics check them both over and rule out anything serious, but he’s seen no obvious injuries on Derek when he gave his partner a once over after he’d stopped coughing, and despite being held in the compound for longer than Aaron wants to remember right now, Spencer seems to be okay as well.
As soon as the others have departed, Rossi and Emily leading Jessica’s grieving mother away from the site, his feet are carrying him towards the other two men and it’s hard to tell who reaches who first, but the next thing he knows he’s wrapping his arms around both of them, holding them as tightly as he can with all his strength.
“We’re okay, Aaron,” Spencer chokes, burying his face in one side of the oldest man’s neck as Derek does the same to Aaron’s opposite shoulder.
And, although they all know that Aaron won’t believe him, not properly, until he’s been able to confirm with his own hands and eyes later, when they’re safely in a hotel room for the night, it’s a start that he’s got his partners back in his arms again.
Where they belong.
#starzzy writes hotchreid#actually#starzzy writes horreid#horreid#hotch x reid x morgan#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#horreid fanfic
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I thought this would be so cute so it's y/ns birthday and david wanted to do something special for them but somehow his plan got ruined by the boys eating their cake and then they played a prank on y/n that went too far and made them cry so david take that opportunity to make them feel better
Birthday Disaster!
David’s POV:
The boys and I had long past given up on birthdays. It’s not like they mattered much when you were immortal anyways. And Paul and Marko never needed an excuse to party. They were pointless.
At least that’s what I thought before I met them. Our Human. My human. They somehow made life feel so simple, yet so complicated all at once. They were an enigma, one you couldn’t pry your eyes away from.
Birthdays where Important for two reasons. Human lives were fragile. Nearly everything could hurt them, kill them. I was in a constant battle of worry so every birthday we got to see was a blessing. A reminder that they really were meant to be ours and weren’t going anywhere.
But more importantly, each birthday brought them closer to their promise to us. Just three more and they would join us, stand by my side for the rest of our lives. Sure, it was selfish to preserve my excitement for my own reasons, but I couldn’t help it.
Today marked two more birthdays until they would turn. And I tried to make each human birthday more special than the last. It wasn’t hard when Marko and Paul were like excited puppy’s ready to please their every whim. They would go out of their way for our mate for the smallest things.
The boys had decorated the cave and Dwayne picked out some music. But I was in charge of the most important part. Getting the cake. It was an easy task really, I had an ongoing deal with the baker in town. He was a paranoid old man convinced the rival bakery was trying to steal his secret recipe. I said I’d “watch” the store if he gave me a free cake for my partners birthday every year.
This year I decided to theme the cake around their current favourite character. They were always talking about it, that even Paul started to remember details about it. I asked him, not so kindly, to not smoke tonight at the party unless Y/N gave the ok. He could get even more rowdy when he was high. And that could be a lot for any vampire, let alone a human.
Dwayne was tasked with keeping and eye on him and Marko. So I was beyond livid when I escorted our mate back to the cave for their surprise party, and their cake was nowhere in sight. And neither was Dwayne.
I could sense the other two still in the cave. Y/N may not be able to hear their faint laughter but I could.
“This looks amazing babe” y/n complimented.
I gave them a lazy smile, not trying to bring their attention to the missing cake. I guided them over to the couch when I saw a slight pout on their face, making up a quick lie.
“They must be out getting some last minuet gifts for you doll, you know how they are. Always procrastinating.”
I almost felt my heart flutter when I heard them chuckle. It quickly became one of my favourite sounds after meeting them. And right now I wanted to keep their spirits up. They’d had a long day celebrating with the humans, but I knew they much preferred our smaller parties.
I was furious by the time Dwayne came back to the cave with Laddie, they’d missed like half the party and I still had no cake for our Mate. I pulled him to the side, harshly whispering out of earshot of our human.
“Where the hell were you?” I grit out.
“Laddie got spooked by the thunder and ran off, Star and I were out looking for him. He wasn’t in any of the usual spots.”
I sighed. I couldn’t be mad at him for that. He loved that boy more than anything, we all did. And our kitten would be even more upset if something happened to laddie on their birthday.
“The two idiots did something to the cake while you were gone, but they’re being cowards and won’t come out. Our mate is starting to get sad nobodies here for their birthday, and I think they’ve noticed the missing cake I promised them. This is a disaster Dwyane. I swear I’m gonna kill them-“
He looked almost as furious as I did. Their pranks were typically harmless, but this one wasn’t in good taste. Pun fully NOT intended.
My heart nearly stopped again when I heard faint crying upon re-entering the cave. Followed by the rambling of Marko and Paul apologising profusely. Christ, what have they done now.
“Out!”
I shouted.
The three of them jumped, and I felt bad, but Dwayne could deal with those two right now. I simply pointed to the cave entrance and they hung their heads and left with a few more muttered apologies.
I quickly moved in to scoop up our baby, holding them closely to my chest while they cried. I was never good with words like Dwayne was in moments like this, so I just rocked them, petting their hair softly which seemed to work.
When the sniffling lightened I looked down at them, trying to give my best smile.
“Wanna go for a drive, doll?”
They could never resist a midnight ride under the moon. That would give the boys enough time to fix the party before I got back. Or they’d have hell to pay, those hunters will be the least of their worries…
An: I’m so sorry if this is bad, I haven’t written in so long I feel rusty. I gotta get back into it but seasonal depression is kicking my arse! 😭 Got that writers block hard core right now and I want it to stop!
PS: Doll and Kitten and neutral here, I never use those as gendered terms….
#the lost boys#david the lost boys#paul tlb#dwyane tlb#mark tlb#tlb x reader#the lost boys x reader#vampire mate#soulmates#polycule#poly lost boys x reader#fang writes
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old shoes
Will doesn’t want to throw away his beat-up blue Chucks for the life of him.
“You’ve had them for at least six years,” Lucy says as they clean out their closet. They’re moving to a new apartment, finally out of the Callaghans’ house.
“Six years?” he asks. “You’re saying I’ve had these since I was fifteen?”
“Yeah. That’s around the time you stopped growing. I remember. One day, you were shorter than my fridge, and the next, you were taller than it. That was the middle of ninth grade. You were fifteen. Math. Time. Not the same thing, but very similar.”
Will tries not to laugh. Maybe if Lucy was less funny, it would be easier to part with this pair of old shoes. He almost can’t believe she doesn’t remember. She always files away things like this. In fact, he’s going to test it.
“Hey, Lucy?”
“Hey, Will?”
“Do you remember what you were wearing the day we got engaged?”
Lucy snorts.
“Pretty hard to forget,” she says. “And I don’t really think of it as ‘the day we got engaged.’ I think of it as the day you agreed to marry me. Hard to be engaged when you’re a pregnant teenager. Engaged is romantic. Married is urgent.”
Will laughs a little. This is exactly why he can’t part with the shoes, and she should know it. Why doesn’t she know it?
“But what were you wearing?” he asks.
“Is this, like, a retrospective phone sex thing?” she asks. “Because I’m not sure there’s much of a market for that, especially in face-to-face conversation. Maybe you need a phone.”
“Lucy!”
“What? I was wearing my school uniform. I took you to a McDonald’s parking lot during our lunch at school, and I asked you to marry me in the car. That’s pretty hard to forget!”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t just any McDonald’s parking lot. It was where we went after the dance! Our first kiss! I thought it was romantic!”
Lucy bursts out laughing.
“What?” Will asks.
“Nothing, it’s just … I can’t believe there was a time I worried you weren’t going to be a romantic.”
Will shakes his head. Sure, there was a time when he wanted nothing more than to be cool, to be bad. Just ask the cigarettes he smoked until Elenore was born, or that time he, Sam, and Daniel stole the Millennium Falcon from a local toy store. But that was a long time ago. Will is a husband. A father. A soon-to-be law student, if he can get it together and finish his bachelor’s degree already. All that need to be cool … it’s gone. It’s in those old shoes.
Lucy gives him a look. Good. She’s catching on.
“I mean, I was also wearing my favorite lipstick from back then,” she says. “It wasn’t much different from my favorite lipstick now, but the tube was different. I think there was less glitter in it, too. I like glitter.”
“Most people would be shocked to find that out, wouldn’t they?”
“Oh, totally. And then not at all. Kind of like you and your romanticism.”
Will smiles. He picks up the old shoes and holds them close to his chest, not caring for a second at how much mud and old bubblegum he must have trudged through in them.
“These were the shoes I was wearing that day,” Will says. “I wore them everyday we were allowed to wear shorts and casual shoes to school, and I was wearing them on that day. So these shoes … I don’t know, they remind me of you. And I don’t want to throw them out.”
Lucy laughs again. But it’s not a mean laugh. It’s a sweet one – the kind Lucy might only be able to muster around him. Another reason not to throw away the old shoes. They remind Will that his wife is more woman than machine – another thing other people wouldn’t immediately believe about her. But he knows better. He knows her as well as beat-up shoes.
“You don’t need reminders of me,” she says. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But …”
“But you can keep the shoes.”
“Thank you.”
“So long as you throw away the belt you wore to school everyday in sixth grade. Like, seriously, babe. Why do you have this? Who’s going to need it?”
Will blushes. He didn’t realize he had hoarder-ish tendencies. Then again, it took him seventeen years to figure out he was sentimental, so anything can happen.
“How big are those American Girl dolls your mom always wants to buy for Elenore?”
“Will.”
“Chuck it.”
(part of @nosebleedclub march challenge -- day 24!)
#drabble#writeblr#ch: will o'connor#ch: lucy callaghan#ship: c'est la vie say the old folks#year: 1988
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