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allsassnoclass · 2 years

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hazel !! hi !! may I ask u for your favourite mashton moments 👀

yeah for sure!!! it did get long though so it's under a read more

My absolute favorite mashton moment will always be the "me and my opposite end of the battery" instagram post.

ashtonirwin: Me and my opposite end of the battery in some city, somewhere on planet earth, trying to get our music heard. @michaelclifford

This makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. The phrase “me and my opposite end of the battery” has been etched into my mind forever and fundamentally shaped my understanding of their relationship (and also made their relationship my favorite of the boys’). I've touched a little on my thoughts on that phrase here but basically, they are opposites but they are the same and they power the band and they need each other to do so. Ashton did me irreparable damage when he decided to describe their relationship with that particular phrase.

2. This interview, specifically timestamp 0:29 (tumblr is being mean and isn't letting me embed the videos but follow the link, it's the big talk interview)

it’s about the way! that michael feeds ashton an answer! and ashton goes along with it with absolutely no thinking! just repeats it because if michael said it then it must be a good answer! even though two seconds later he actually processes it and thinks it sucks!!!! but it’s about the trust that ashton has in him!

also the entire interview is so happy and giggly. i think we only get one serious answer out of them and it’s to the very first question. That day was an absolute great day for mashton people because we got two silly interviews of just them!!!!

3. "We didn't need to" at timestamp 23:51 of the 2011 podcast

what gets me the most was michael’s tone of voice when he said it. he wasn’t flippant, he didn’t brush off ashton’s “but you didn’t really know me very well,” he didn’t turn it into a joke even though he very easily could have. instead, we got the softest “we didn’t need to” i’ve ever heard in my life. there was so much earnestness in his voice! so much sincerity. in that moment, he needed ashton to understand that inviting ashton into the band was never something for them to second-guess. they didn’t need to know everything about ashton right off the bat, because they fit. they fit in some intrinsic way that can’t be formed after playing 20 questions, in some way that just is or isn’t, and with them it is.

not to be overly dramatic, but it’s like some part of michael recognized a kindred spirit in ashton, even if he couldn’t explain why yet. this band meshes so well together. they had an automatic chemistry. they knew right away that ashton would fit, and they knew that they weren’t going to second-guess that. and michael needed ashton to know that in 2021 when they recorded that podcast. he needed ashton to know that from the moment he showed up to that first practice, he’s been part of this band, even though they didn’t officially ask him until december 3.

those are my top 3 moments by far, usually in that order but sometimes not, and here are some of my other favorite moments in no particular order!

-Michael's first message to Ashton asking him to play for the band, which was revealed in the 2011 podcast episode

it's the "i know you're a sick drummer" and the fact that this is the beginning!!!! of everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also Michael is the one who knew the drum parts so i would love to hear more about him teaching Ashton, an actual drummer, the parts before their gig.

also, in general i loved the mashton content in the podcasts because you could clearly say the ways in which they're a driving force in the band based on how much they talked, the things they talked about, and how they talked about the band's journey

-this video beginning at timestamp 1:45

Ashton’s being so lovely and sincere about their bond and then you have Michael “No Personal Space” Clifford with the little “we can stand this close to each other without it being awkward” and then he Leans His Head On Ashton’s Shoulder And The Little Smile!!!!! I think it’s a great moment showcasing how close and comfortable they are from an early time

-Michael teaching Ashton how to play guitar onstage (this video starting at 0:40)

-the "glorious post MSG hug"

michaelclifford: a glorious post MSG hug. 😍 @ashtonirwin

(look at the joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the unfiltered joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

-The Zach Sang interview where Ashton said he does his best writing with Michael when Michael doesn’t like his idea and Ashton has to fight for him to like it at timestamp 12:36 (always pushing each other to be better, those two <3)

-The instagram video where Ashton massages Michael's shoulder while hugging him

-the Dragon Ball Z moment where they’re both nerds and Michael is so delighted by Ashton timestamp 1:19

-“Is this us again?” (They wrote together so much for the first album and I’d love to see more of that)(also Ashton grabs his hand, not just high fives him :) )

-The fact that Michael was so supportive of Ashton's candle company (with the smiley face and hearts!) and that they tested them on the road together!!!

There are obviously A Lot more instances I could put here, and if you ask me on a different day I might, but here are some of my favorite mashton moments right at this exact second!

#ask #myle #satellitesunset #mashton #i love them so much #my boys <3 <3 <3 my favorite boys <3 <3 <3

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ceramicdove · 2 years

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🔥 enstars preferably some obscure shit on top of that

[SPACE JAM ANNOUNCER VOICE] Ladies And Gentlemen, Welcome. To The Main Event. Leeet's Get Ready To Ruuuumbleeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I know I put off these asks last night because I was tired, but I didn't forget about them. note that my responses are not going to be clearly formatted nor will they be extraordinarily intelligent, well-written thinkpieces. think of it as me unleashing the autism beasts, and good luck in advance!

I've talked about this previously, but since tempest just dropped on engstars I am seeing people discoursing and vocalising this specific take in real time, so I feel like it's a wonderful time to reiterate because it made me laugh and also made me sad. this isn't exactly a controversial opinion here on my insular tumblr community, but it'd definitely start shit on twitter.

I love the eccentrics as much as the next person and I love to see people produce them and make content of them, but a very notable chunk of eccentricsP (especially wataru-focused producers) loudly hate eichi or discredit his role in the story and those people will forever be a weak link in my eyes: this would seem petty to an outsider who would assume I must just hate anybody who hates my favourite characters, but I have my reasoning here.

eichi's presence is inextricable to the story of the eccentrics for better or for worse depending on how you look at things. that much is known by everybody. I think it's normal to have confusing or conflicting feelings on him particularly as somebody who is new to the story: I'm not going to drag people (especially not new players) to hell for having complex and mutable feelings on an antagonistic character. but I will have qualms if you refuse to even understand his narrative role at an entry level and offer his character any amount of sympathy, not even out of my own personal leverage, but because objectively, your misunderstanding of eichi will warp your understanding of the focal war/(!) narrative at its core. and these people are a wonderful example of that warped narrative.

I've oftentimes seen these people set up the story that eichi is irredeemable or insufferable, that the eccentrics were tragic kindred soulmate spirits who were torn apart by him but are bound to get back together and get their revenge through the Power Of Friendship, that wataru's character was butchered by having him fall in love with eichi, that he's a victim who fell prey to an abuser, or simply that his love for eichi is not genuine but is the long-winded set-up for a backstab. some people just think "this is the ultimatum", this is the real narrative of love in enstars. eichi loses, wataru escapes him, the eccentrics win, and it's love and it's beautiful and revolutionary!

you are waiting for a non-existent shoe to drop.

there is already a carefully-woven narrative about love right in your face: it has been there for years. and it's not only wataru's, but also eichi's. you cannot split them apart from each other in that regard, they are conjoined. a careful and sympathetic reader will know that. people do not see it exclusively and precisely because they shot themselves in the foot the moment they decided to actively hate and begrudge eichi, and they are now stuck angry and unsatisfied that the writer could do such a terrible thing to their sad, sopping wet, pathetic hibiki and his best friends.

→ the act of claiming that wataru is a victim whose character was butchered at the expense of loving eichi is, ironically enough, the biggest act of butchering his character. (and it's a very funny paradox.) wataru is a beautiful character, but his philosophy and presentation is fickle, vague, contradicting or difficult to grasp at times. a lot of information on him is debatable or downright missing, and that causes a lot of discrepancies among fanon interpretations of him: this is expected. but if there is one thing that should be clearly defined even without too deep of an outlook on the details of his story, it's that wataru controlled and chose his turn of events. wataru is smart. he chose to deny natsume's plan and play into his own execution because he saw through eichi and understood his intentions. this is presented in element and confirmed in neverland through nagisa's musings: "foolish, mighty monster who read us like an open book, yet willingly lay down to serve as a foundation. the present has been built atop your sacrifices. we alone will never forget that". he chose to join fine at his own volition and out of his own interests, and most of all he joined solely for eichi, not because his hand was forced. this is confirmed in flower festival. he chose to stay by eichi's side in the end because he fell in love with him: that's the pivotal moment of ep:link, and it is one of the moments that effectively defines the entire narrative. "we are living human beings, so we change, and we grow to love and admire people and such. that is precisely what the answer is — love is precisely what the answer is. i love you, and that is why i'll continue to be with you from now on." these choices were made out of the consciousness and love he holds in and for the story. these choices, his speeches, his extravagant nature, it's all in the name of love, love that he is trying to show to you, the audience. there is never a point at which he regrets this. you know what makes this all funnier? akin to all the comments and wishful theories that wataru must clearly wish to leave eichi in favour of his old friends, in sanctuary, even eichi, in a volatile and insecure state, tells him for a second time "i thought you had finally lost interest in me as a character in your play. [...] i thought you'd finally ran out of patience and given up on me [...] as if i were shocked to discover the person i love actually hated me in return". and wataru immediately denies this, tells eichi that in his eyes he's the protagonist, he muses on how he was misinterpreted, but most of all, a line that stuck to me was "what a shame, that people don't believe me when i reveal my true feelings!" because that's exactly what this all is! it's a shame that people won't believe his true feelings! it's a massive disservice to his character, to his emotions and intentions. it's turning a beautiful and intentional character into a cardboard cutout caricature of a victim that doesn't exist. if you want to feel pity for wataru, feel it for his childhood, for his loneliness and isolation, for many other things, but not for this. you are not rightfully defending him and his role, you are doing a disservice to his autonomy in the narrative. the eccentrics are a beautiful, fascinating, tragic group of characters: they deserve their own spotlight, their recovery, and the right to having their perspectives and traumas that stemmed from the war be valued by other characters and readers alike. but I just don't think this is the right way to go about it.

#🕊️📬#this is like my crash course for babies. would you still love me if i was insane

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chvoswxtch · 8 months

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Congrats on 3k!!!! It’s so well deserved because your writing is incredible. Even more importantly, while I don’t know you beyond Tumblr, based on your posts and stories and our interactions, I know you’re an amazing person. So time to celebrate you!!!🍾🍾🍾

☾ 1989- send me something about you/a character for a song to strut down the streets of nyc to

A bit about me: I’m average height, curvy girl, shoulder length brown curly hair, blue eyes. LOVE a good pair of skinny jeans, brown or black boots, a sweater, and leather jacket. Winged eyeliner, mascara, and red lipstick are an absolute must in my book when going out. I’m very introverted and shy though, unless I’m with friends or in a place I’m comfortable with. Then my confidence starts to increase and I match the red lipstick vibe a bit more 😉

ahhh thank you so much my lovely!!!

okay you and I are kindred spirits bc you essentially just described my wardobe. also, there's something magical about a red lip. like...i'm not the most confident person, but you give me some red lipstick, and baby I can do anything

I think this song is perfect for you 🖤

#court's 3k followers celebration #court's 3k friends celebration #the eras tour (court's version)#court answers

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retrauxpunk · 2 years

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holy fucking shit you guys you won't believe this but I've been pathologically and limerebrly obsessed with a new band for like THREE MONTHS NOW and this whole Fucking time I was like boo hoo all my friends are losers and don't share my ardent love of SIMPLE CREATURES (ALEX GASKARTH AND MARK HOPPUS. WHAT THE HELL THAT'S COOL AS HELL) (AMERICAN TRASH POP FOREVER)

and literally only just now did it occur to me that THE ONE PLACE where I might find kindred spirits, worthy brethren,,,,

would OBVIOUSLY BE TUMBLR. THE SANCTUARY OF NICHE FANDOM. JESUS CHRIST THE WHOLE REASON I STARTED USING TUMBLR AGAIN WAS BECAUSE I WAS OBSESSED WITH A BAND AND COULDN'T FIND FELLOW OBSESSIVE TO FROTH WITH COMMUNALLY AND NOW I find myself in the SAME Situation AND I DIDN'T THINK OF

tumblr?????

Wow dang amazing. I'm 28. Nice.

okay I'm checking the fucking tag. there's gotta be. if there's content for LEGO MASTERS AUSTRALIA (amazing show, go watch) then there must be stuff for SIMPLE CREATURES (MY LOVE)

#simple creatures #hello rain's music horniness is back #it's rock-tinged pop by poetic dysfunctional men with guitars is anyone fucking surprised #oh and it fucking perfectly vibes with my WIP #which is just #AUGHHHH #I discovered them on Friday 13th May AKA a fucking perfect date for discovering vampire-flavoured-la-croix trash pop duo simple creatures

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the-final-world · 3 years

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yall ever end up in a place so close to an actual situation thats left u traumatised and ur like im fine this doesnt bother me ive grown but then you realise your hands are shaking and youre breath is unsteady

#this is my vibe rn #tw btw for the rest of the tags abt like depressing and potentially triggering things ily all btw #anyway the scars on my neck were so itchy i hit the peak of my depressive episode 3 days ago and tried to slit my throat again and now im #left with itchy scratches and boi now that im better it puts a lot into perspective #like i was subconciously scratching my neck and i felt them and i was like #jesus #i came close again #it is ok tho pls dont worry abt me i am fine now #this is in the past #we must focus on the now #but anyway earlier i got sent into a panic attack and then i couldnt breathe and i felt the scars n i was like ah fuck im being strangled #again but damn #anwyway so this hasnt been my best week or two but hey #look on the bright side #if im this low i can only go up #and im gonna go up i found a new kindred spirit yesterday and i already feel better #than before #look nobody is 100% unless its a hell of a manic episode without the rage and irritability #i just wanna talk and tumblr tags are my fave way to talk bc im not directly talking to ppl #anyway sorry if ya had to read this i try to avoid this but i think we all have little breakdown posts from time to time #ok not everyone #anyway have a good day i hope you guys are being treated w kindness #and w love #and that you are all havin a great time at least better than me isadfhsjg

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neoculturetravesty · 3 years

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We met in online class - Part 4

Image taken from here. Originally had this image in mind but Tumblr won’t let me upload it.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, fluff, angst, maybe humor???? Warnings: Strong language Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: Happy Easter to all who celebrate it!

It’s funny how quickly people form habits without really meaning to. You don’t realize you have a new favorite word till someone points out you’ve been using it so much. You don’t realize you’re addicted to caffeine till you get headaches from withdrawals. You don’t realize you can’t live without dessert till the sugar crash hits. And in the same way, Renjun didn’t realize he had gotten used to your company till he’s waiting outside your lecture hall with an almost expectant inclination to see you.

A lot of it had to do with who you were as a person. You had pretty much infiltrated Renjun’s life, even though he still kept you at an arm’s distance. One day, he had walked into the library and found you with Jaemin, while the two of you had your heads together over a laptop and a huge gift basket in the making on the table. Jaemin wasn’t the kind of person who invited a lot of new people into his life; so he must have really trusted you because it wasn’t the last time Renjun saw the two of you together.

But worse than Jaemin was Donghyuck. Renjun was pretty sure that since you’d asked him out, you had probably hung out more with Donghyuck than with him. Almost as if seeing Renjun was just an excuse for you to hang out with him, as you had often joked. It was as if the two of you were kindred spirits, long lost best friends who had finally found one another. Donghyuck would invite you everywhere, get up to no good with you in tow; and before Renjun knew it, the two of you were even planning parties together. Neither Donghyuck nor you needed Renjun as an excuse to hang out with one another anymore, and it amused him. A part of him wondered if Donghyuck was playing along to help his bigger cause. But his friend always looked so genuinely happy around you that any ulterior motive he might have seemed to have been forgotten.

“Why can’t the sun always be like this?” you said as you laid on the grass using your backpack as a pillow. Your hand was reaching out over your face, your fingers wiggling as you played with shadows.

While you soaked in the sun, Renjun chose to sit under the shade of a tree, sketching away in his book, completing his assignment before his next class.

“You wouldn’t appreciate it as much if it were always like this.” Renjun replies, not looking away from his work. He much preferred paint over charcoal, but he had to admit that the scratching sounds it made against the grains of paper--coupled with the chirping of birds and gentle ruffling of leaves around him--was really relaxing. As was your company.

“Hmm. But it’s still nice to see it without fine dust couture. I like seeing it fully in the nude.” you say, a soft, funny smile on your face while your eyelashes cast shadows on your cheeks.

“Pervert.” Renjun accuses, smiling as he drew. It just makes you laugh and lay sideways to face him. You prop up your head on your hand.

“I’m the sun, Huang Renjun. Now draw me like one of your French girls.” you say in a comical voice and Renjun actually laughs without reservation.

“Do you have any more classes?” he asks, fixing his black and gold rimmed glasses over his nose.

“Nope. I’m done for the day. Yeri’s supposed to pick me up, so I’m just waiting for her call.” you say, rolling onto your back once more, resuming your dance with the shadows.

Renjun hums a reply as he sketches, but really, he’s thinking that he hadn’t formally met Yeri. At least not yet. He had just had two very awkward run-ins with her the couple of times he had been to your apartment. Come to think of it, he hadn’t been to your place since that last time. And you had never been to his place at all.

It wasn’t on accident, though. All of it had been by Renjun’s really convoluted design. He had met a few of your friends on campus in the passing, sure. But you were more a part of his life that he was yours. That is exactly what Renjun had planned. Lately, however, that plan seemed to be fading away into the ether. Slowly but surely dispersing from memory till it was more or less abandoned.

Because Renjun did not realize that he had adopted you like a habit. Any time he saw a witty meme, he had to send it your way because you would text back with an equally witty reply that scratched Renjun’s intellectual itch. Any time Jisung would bring home a baguette, he would take a picture for you with a caption like ‘Francophile life going strong’. The two of you had even developed a silly game where you would look at different marketing taglines and wonder if it would still work to sell condoms.

‘Nike. Just do it.’ Renjun had once texted.

‘That is a low hanging fruit, Huang Renjun.’ you had replied.

‘Okay, true. But how about Imax: Thing big.’ he had texted back.

‘Hmm, almost but not quite. I need something stronger.’

‘BMW: Designed for driving pleasure.’ he had actually found himself scrolling through a long list of taglines while his assignment laid forgotten.

‘Oof. Now you’ve found the sweet spot. Keep going.’ Renjun had smiled at your reply and had found himself hurriedly looking for something better.

‘Geico: So easy, a caveman could do it.’

‘Mmm, didn’t think you were a kinky boy, Huang Renjun. Go on…”

Renjun had actually laughed out loud, making Jisung look up at him quizzically and replied ‘1010 Wins: you give us 22 minutes, we’ll give you the world.’

‘Yessss! Right there, right there!’

Renjun hadn’t even realized he was grinning wide and standing up from his desk, a list of taglines open both on his laptop and his phone while he scrolled to find the perfect response that would make you happy. ‘Rice Krispies: Snap! Crackle! Pop!’

‘So close, so close, I am almost there!’

‘Washington Post: Democracy dies in darkness.’

‘THAT’S IT, THAT DID IT, THAT HIT THE SPOT!’

Renjun had actually belly laughed at the entire conversation. He didn’t remember the last time he had laughed this way because even Jisung was looking at him with an amused smile, asking “What’s so funny?”

So yes, Renjun had adopted you like a habit. But it wasn’t just through text. When you weren’t the one waiting for him on campus with a couple of cups of coffee in hand, he found he would go looking for you. You would spend all your free time together, just like this. He would find himself missing you on days he didn’t get to see you. He found himself disappointed when you didn’t have time for him because you and Donghyuck were on a very important mission or you had to meet your friends or you had extra work that was demanding your attention. You had just inserted yourself in his life in such a manner that Renjun didn’t even notice.

Perhaps you had nothing to do with it, but Renjun’s life had been treating him pretty well, too. Maybe he was more inspired these days, because his work was getting better and his professors were noticing. His painting instructor had held him back after class one day and offered him an internship at his studio. While it wasn’t huge, it was enough that Renjun had thrown his fist in the air in celebration as soon as he had left class. And you were the first person he texted and he was glad he did because you had texted back a freakout that made him grin like an idiot. You had come to see him as soon as your own class had ended and you had flung yourself in his arms and had jumped around excitedly before dragging him along so you could buy him an artist’s apron as a present.

“Do you have any more classes?” you ask him as you stare at the evening sun through your fingers.

Renjun’s about to reply when he is interrupted by the sound of your phone buzzing in your pocket. You fish it out and sit up, telling Renjun “Hold on…” before answering it. “Are you here, Yeri?”

Renjun goes back to scratching away in his pad, thinking. Maybe he should introduce himself now when Yeri comes to pick you. But what would he say? ‘Hi, I’m Y/N’s friend?’ Everyone on campus knew that the two of you weren’t exactly just friends. It was thanks to your stunt during that one online class, where he’d met you. ‘Hi, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend?’ But he wasn’t that, either. While the two of you had become pretty comfortable in each other’s company, you hadn’t really done anything, or had any serious talk about what you were. You two always found yourself tiptoeing “the line”. Actually, no. It was Renjun that tiptoed that line. After his two failed attempts to kiss you, the conversation had just not taken that turn ever again. You two hadn’t leveled up on the PDA front, either. Sure, you had cuddled into him in the back of the cab that one night, and he had half-carried you to your apartment till Yeri took you from the doorstep. But you didn’t seem to remember any of it, so it was basically back to square one. Sure, you had hugged him in joy when he had gotten the internship, but did it really count when the two of you hadn’t even held hands yet? Aside from the innuendo-filled condom tagline talk, the two of you hadn’t really done anything that would constitute as… something a couple might do.

“Okay, but how long would it take?” you’re saying into the phone, a gentle crease growing between your eyebrows. Whatever you heard back must have been distasteful because you grimace. “Okayyyy, Yeri, I’m hanging up now!” you say pointedly and groan, laying back into the grass.

Renjun chuckles “All good?”

“Yeri has brought home a ‘distraction’.” you say, making air quotes, and a face like you’ve tasted something sour. “I’m banished from my own home for the evening.”

Renjun looks up.

He thinks about his next words carefully. “Um… what are you gonna do?”

You groan once more and say “I’m probably going to crash at Lia’s till my exile is over. So inconvenient!”

“You could come over to mine.”

Renjun didn’t know how it happened, how he found the courage to think it and then actually say it out loud, but now there’s no going back because the two of you are walking down the hallway to his place. He doesn’t know why, but his throat is a little dry and he peeks over his shoulder to see that you seem a bit nervous as well. He takes a deep breath and decides to break the tension.

“Here we are.” He says as he punches in the code. He holds the door open “Hello, MTV. Welcome to my crib.”

It works because it makes you smile. “So, this is where the magic happens.”

“Mhmm, but I hope to God my roommates have at least attempted to clean it up some, because I did text them a head’s up.”

“Lead the way, Huang Renjun.” you say and he does. He walks you into his living room where Jisung is currently sitting, playing video games. The smell of something delicious makes his head turn towards the kitchen where he finds Jaemin.

“Hey, Y/N!” he calls out then wipes his hands on a towel before coming in to give you a hug.

“Hi, Y/N!” Jisung says without looking up.

Renjun is amused and a little confused. Perhaps you and Jaemin got even closer while he wasn’t noticing, but Jisung? When had the two of you met? By the looks of it, Jisung was comfortable enough with you that he wasn’t even minding his manners and greeting you properly. Probably because he was too busy dwindling his thumbs on his controller furiously.

“Damn, Jisung, you’re really going at it, huh?” you say to him easily.

“Mhmm. I would’ve been doing even better if Jaemin hadn’t interrupted and kicked me out of my own room because you were coming over.”

There is a two second silence before Jisung’s audience of three begins talking at the same time.

“Jisung!” Renjun yelps, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, no, we aren’t going to like… do anything--” you find yourself explaining at the same time, face heating up.

“Jisungieeee!” Jaemin also sings out to scold, yet he grins as he mock-chokes the boy.

“You are so dead.” Renjun gives the back of Jisung’s head a death stare.

“Nooo, our Jisungie means well, don’t you, Jisungie?” Jaemin coos while Jisung dodges his kisses.

Renjun shakes his head and places a hand to your arm to guide you along. “Let’s go.”

“I’ve made food if you crazy kids get hungry!” Jaemin calls after you and it’s the most animated he’s been in a while.

His friends being, well, his friends was probably worth it because Renjun is feeling a lot better as he brings you into his room. It had been a while since he had brought a girl over and looking about, he can tell that his mates did a good job at hastily cleaning it.

“Damn, Huang Renjun. You’re a clean boy.” you’re saying as you look about. “I thought you’d be the artfully messy type.”

Renjun grins as he runs his fingers through his hair. “We can mess it up together if you’d like.” But Renjun mentally smacks himself in the head as soon as the words leave his mouth because you’ve looked up at him and quickly looked away, muttering something awkwardly.

“I… I didn’t mean that. I just meant with like, paint and, like…” Renjun blows air out of his mouth and then your eyes meet. Before you know it, you both are giggling at each other because the awkwardness is probably making you a bit delirious.

Renjun watches as you take a deep breath to stop the giggles and turn to start looking around. “Oooh. Mr. Fancypants is a tea connoisseur.” you say as you run your hands over his teabag display box.

Renjun chuckles “Do you want me to make you some?”

“Sure. Let’s have tea, Mr. Fancypants.” you take a seat on his wheelie chair and your eyes go to the artist’s apron you had bought him that is currently hanging on an easel. You give it a fond smile.

“What flavor would you like?” Renjun asks as he puts the kettle on and sets up two mugs.

“Umm… I don’t know tea. I’m a coffee drinker.” you reply, your fingers tracing over the pictures he had at his desk.

“I’ll make you a simple chamomile, then. I’ve seen you and Jaemin enabling each other’s coffee habits and I don’t approve.” he knots his eyebrows.

“Oh no, no, no. Jaemin is on a different level. I took a sip of his coffee by mistake once and my entire life flashed before my eyes. I don’t know if that boy drinks coffee or straight up cocaine.”

Renjun bites his smile because he’s still holding onto the look of disapproval. “That would explain the random spikes and falls in his energy.” he says as he pours out the water in the mugs and seeps the teabags. “Here you go.” he sets your mug on the desk and takes a seat on his bed.

You take a sip “So, which one is your bunk?”

“Top.” Renjun also wants to make an innuendo but he stops himself because the awkwardness surrounding the fact that you and him are alone in his room has only just subsided with the tea.

“Isn’t the bottom bunk more comfortable?” you muse as you drink. You seem to be enjoying your tea because you haven’t set it aside yet.

“Of course it is. It’s why Jisung has it.” he comments, cocking his eyebrow. “And I sleep here on this bed.” He pats where he’s sat.

You grin as you sip then quickly wipe your chin as some tea spills through your smile. “Where do you keep all your paintings?”

“In the studio. On that top bunk. Behind that door. At my grandma’s house.” he lists off on his fingers.

“Why behind the door? If I had your talent, I’d basically cover every bit of my wall in my art. Like the most egomaniacal artist in the world.” you fantasize, looking up at the ceiling.

Renjun chuckles. “I kinda like my space to be a bit cleaner, you know? Because I’m always around art. It kinda helps with my imagination, having a clean environment. It’s almost like a clean canvas.”

“Interesting.” you’ve said and it sounds like you genuinely mean it. “It’s still a bit sad. All the work you’ve created should have a home. It shouldn't be hidden away behind doors or on top bunks.”

“You can give some of them a home if you’d like. If you have space, I mean.” Renjun gives you a fond look. You haven’t replied but you’ve set your mug down and looked at him with a very tender look in your eyes. You stand up.

“I wanna see your bed.”

Renjun grins. “Be my guest.”

“Ooooh.” you make an excited squeal, almost like you're about to enter Dexter’s Laboratory. You plop yourself on it and bounce up and down, almost as if to check the pliability of it.

“So this is where the magic happens.” you giggle and then Renjun finds your gaze moving to a picture frame on his headboard. “Is that your grandma?”

“It is.” Renjun smiles as he watches you pick your feet up and make yourself comfortable.

“She looks exactly like you.” you say, looking back at him with an affectionate look.

“A lot of people say that. People in school used to think I’m adopted because I looked nothing like my parents.” Renjun scoots back to sit next to you.

“Are you close to your parents?” you ask gently, looking at him.

Renjun looks away.

The two of you hadn’t had that many deep conversations. And anytime you did, he had found a way around it so that nothing was shared, nothing was learnt.

But no one had ever asked him that… not in so many words. He finds himself shrugging and responding before he can stop himself. “Nah. They don’t even talk to me. They’ve never really cared.”

“How do you know that, Renjun?” you’re asking him in a very soft voice. The kind of voice that has Renjun sharing more than he wants.

“They pretty much abandoned me very young,” Renjun laughs ironically. “They would fight all the time, you know? Like, they really would go at each other one moment then make up the next moment. They kind of forgot they had a son.” Renjun finds himself saying while his eyes fixate on a loose thread on Jisung’s bedsheet. He realizes he’s warm and comfortable and that’s when he notices that you’ve put an arm around him.

“That must have been so hard, to go through that.” you’re speaking to him so softly and your head and your body is angled towards him, giving him all your attention while Renjun talks into the abyss.

“They were just like… kinda dysfunctional, you know? They fought like crazy and I had to hide away so I wouldn’t hear them. And then the next day, they’d be in each other’s arms like nothing happened. They would pretend like everything was all right. Like the trauma they gave me meant nothing.”

You’re not speaking anymore, only listening. Your hand around him has started to gently stroke his arm. Your other hand softly combs through his hair.

“It was such a vicious cycle and they wouldn’t stop. I think they were kinda addicted to it. They would’ve been happy living like that with each other if it weren’t for me.” He had never shared so much with anyone. But now that he had started, it was difficult to stop.

“Renjun…” you say empathetically and pull him into you. Renjun pauses for a moment, but decides to give in. What did it matter, anyway? He rests his head on your shoulder.

“If it weren��t for my grandma, I wouldn’t even be alive, you know? She saved me from all of that and took me in. She raised me. It wasn’t even her responsibility, but she raised me.”

You are holding him to you and soothingly stroking his hair when you say “Then I think your grandma is the luckiest person in this world. Because she got to see you grow up to be such a good man.”

Renjun feels a lump in his throat grow and before he knows it, there are tears stinging in his eyes. You turn your head and press a kiss into his temple and slowly rock him. It was odd, being here like this, because Renjun realizes that this was the first time you had kissed him. But more than anything else, it was the first time someone had held him like this.

The last time he remembered being held was probably when he was a child, and it had been his grandma. No one since had held him in their arms to listen to him, to comfort him, to love him without any conditions. No one had tried to take his pain away without wanting something in return. The thought puts more tears in his eyes and he finds himself leaning his weight into you.

He allows you to hold him and comfort him and coo at him. You’re speaking to him gently but Renjun isn’t hearing your words. He’s only concentrating on the soothing sound of your voice and how melodic it is. He liked hearing you talk. He’s concentrating on how you’re rocking him, and how the movement is slowly lulling him. He liked how warm and soft you were and how protective your arms were. He liked the smell of chamomile on your breath. Had you enjoyed chamomile? He thought you had. Maybe you would’ve enjoyed a different flavor more. Renjun decides he should make you an Earl Grey next time; it would probably be better suited to your caffeine tastes. Maybe you wouldn’t like Earl Grey as much either, but it would be nice to discover that bit about you. He’d make you try all the flavors till he learnt which one your favorite was.

“How come I never saw your cat?” He asks sleepily after you’ve been quiet for a while.

“Hmm?” you ask, confused.

“Your cat. Galbi. How come I didn’t see him when I came over?” Renjun can feel your smile against his temple.

“Oh. Yeri had dropped him over at the vet’s that day. Do you want to meet him?” you ask him.

“Yeah, it would be nice to meet him.” Renjun says and brings an arm up to cuddle closer into you.

“Okay. Next time you come over, you can meet him… shoulder gangster Renjun.” you’re only whispering at him now as you tease him.

“Mmm.” is the only reply Renjun can manage as he chuckles lazily. He didn’t even feel like killing Donghyuck for telling you about that because he feels so good like this, in your arms. Renjun hasn’t even noticed that you’ve laid him down till he realizes how horizontal he is.

It felt nice. Being held by someone, being protected by someone, being comforted by someone. Your hands haven’t stopped soothing him for a single moment ever since they started. Renjun hadn’t even noticed that you’d put the covers on him. Or that you were kissing the top of his head till he feels the warmth. It all felt so nice. He barely registers that your shirt is wet from his tears. All he feels are the relaxing patterns you’re drawing onto his skin. It’s the last thing he feels as he drifts off. And though you're gone in the morning, Renjun can swear this is the most sound sleep he's slept in many nights. He feels a thousand times lighter, like someone had lifted a heavy weight off of his chest and he was finally breathing fully.

He smiles as he grabs his phone and sees your name right on the top of his notification list. He reads your message:

‘Hey, shoulder gangster. Sorry I left without telling you but you were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to wake you. I wanted to ask you something AND YOU CAN TOTALLY SAY NO. But my brother’s hosting a spring art festival of some sort at my parent’s house this weekend. A lot of his artist friends from his company will be there. Do you maybe wanna come with me?’

And there it was.

Yes, it was funny how quickly people form habits without really meaning to. And in his new habit, Renjun had forgotten the real reason he was with you in the first place.

Eyes on the fucking prize, Renjun thinks as his reality comes crashing back on him.

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nocturnalazure · 3 years

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Warning: long rant ahead

So there was that very interesting conversation going on on @lilyshadowwriter‘s blog regarding commenting, microblogging and WP nostalgia.

Why is it so silent on here ? Why are so many of us feeling lonely on a frigging social media platform meant to promote interaction ? Is the community getting smaller ? Or is it just the Tumblr mentality of passive content consumption ? Is the WP community completely dead ?

It seems like it’s become a real issue for many of us who feel invisible in a sea of content and who struggle to find writers with similar concerns. It’s hard to ride the wave when your content does not fit into the mould. And in the end, we all want the same thing : to be seen and understood. We may write for ourselves but we publish because we are driven by the need to share. It hurts when it looks like no one cares.

Thing is, WP and Tumblr are two very different animals. WP might be dying because content consumption habits are changing rapidly. Users must be spoon-fed content. The attention span is getting smaller, your posts need to be quick to read, mostly visual and very dynamic. You must update regularly or followers will lose interest, but not too much or followers will get annoyed. You are competing with hundreds of thousands of other blogs doing the same thing. And if you say one little thing the wrong way, you might get cancelled. So it’s getting a bit crazy on here, and it’s only natural that some of us don’t feel like they belong.

To me, this is not a community. Sure, there are people I have met here that I like immensely, but it barely feels like a network. It’s more like… clusters. Specific floating individuals whom I enjoy interacting with and who seem to have a similar mindset. But I’ve never felt included in any community.

Objectively, my content should check all the Tumblr boxes : it’s a graphic novel (can’t do more visual), it’s quick to read because it’s dialogues only, it’s updated more or less regularly, there are twists and cliff-hangers that I hope will keep the reader invested. But after 7 years on both Tumblr and WP, I think I can safely conclude that it just doesn’t work for reasons that I cannot explain.

I’m super grateful for that handful of individuals who have followed me through thick and thin, and who take the time to make meaningful comments on my story. They are the reason why I’m still here.

But is that my fault ? I would hate to create content « just because it works ». In fact, I don’t think I could. I am what I am, and this is what I have to give. This is where it gets personal and why social media failure hurts so much, because it’s hard not to connect the value of your work with your own value as a person. And it’s easy to take that exclusion from the inner circles like abandonment or nonacceptance of your person as a whole. If that makes sense.

Anyway, I’m not looking for reassurance. I’m actually more worried that there are people out there who seem to feel the same way, to some degree. Why has it become so hard to reach out to people in this era of social media ? When did that change ? Are there simply so many of us now on the world wide web that the search for kindred spirits is like looking for a needle in a haystack ? Does our environment move so fast that we can’t keep up ? How come people now think commenting could be regarded as weird ? Laziness, fear of stepping out of line ?

That takes out all the fun. I’m old enough to remember a different Internet. That’s not what I was promised at the time. Now it’s all about using others for personal gain : making money out of them or bringing them down to make one feel better about oneself. Fight stupid fights because « someone was wrong on the Internet ». Who cares, it’s just an icon and a couple of symbols on a screen.

Where’s the community in that ?

#ranting #text post #random #sorry about that #just needed to get it out #aaaaah i feel better now

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meili-sheep · 3 years

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Well, I'm fully aware I'm pretty much a Diluc stan tumblr; at this point, I want to touch on Childe and my interpretation of the character and a little bit of why I will always ship Chiluc.

Now I was kinda lukewarm to Childe when I first met him, but like most of the characters in Genshin, all the character development are character stories and in the side shit.

We know that Childe was kind of an adventurous kid with little fear, probably like how Teucer was in Childe's side quest. This is what has led him to his trip into the abyss. Yet Childe still has a pretty generally carefree attitude but is still incredibly dangerous. And I think, though, despite appearing outward happy, Childe isn't all that happy. But I don't think he's particularly sad either; he's just incredibly indifferent to, well, just about everything.

I kind of think of the situation of Scathach's position in The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel books. And her quote that was like

"The finest warriors are not only those who do not fear but those who are without anger."

And I think, for the most part, that's Childe. He is generally pretty slow to anger but pretty slow to feel any real emotion. This he finds himself respecting strength cause that's something he can relate to. It's what he likes. So other strong people must like strength too! And In his fight, I think he wasn't really all that upset about his plan, more kinda annoyed, a more excited about having a chance to go all out in a fight. All this leaves him with that pretty childish appearance cause well he doesn't particularly care about how his actions are perceived by others or how his action affects others. He just does as he pleases. Like a child

I think Childe's time in the abyss caused him to really just detach from most of his emotions. Not that he doesn't totally feel, he'll get a slight hint, but not a lot more than a flash. His familial bond is still solid because it was stronger beforehand, and I think it's the rope that kept him from losing emotions completely. I also think he's just used to acting like that around his family, so that's normal for him. But this relationship also has him vaguely aware something is off with him. It's generally causing him general unease, so he doesn't think about it. Honestly, he sees his time in the abyss as something that just happened. It doesn't register as a big event to him, even though it is.

And why I ship him with Diluc is because he sees Diluc as someone who has a similar problem to him. Diluc is someone who has heavy expectations of him. People only see Diluc as what he should be or what he needs to be. And that might not line up with who Diluc actually is. So I see Diluc has a lot of feelings of being inadequate or not enough. Like something is missing. And Childe sees that, and Childe knows that experience. Then he sees Diluc continue to work hard and try to fill the people's position for him, which frustrates Childe.

What really works about their enemies to lovers dynamic is when both Diluc and Childe can see just the slightest hint of the human behind the labels of "delusion thief" and "fatui harbinger," They are going to see kindred spirits. They are going to see a person who can understand them. A person who sees the worst in them, but someone who can empathize. And you can not tell me that Diluc wouldn't start to wobble on his hate of the fatui when he sees that, ya know Childe is actually a fucking human being with his own grief and struggles. Diluc is pretty black and white in terms of right and wrong, but I think he struggles with "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." But I feel ultimately he will be on the side of the few because if he did think for the good of the many, he would have helped cover up his father's death. After all, that would have helped the Knights, which would have been better for the whole of Mondstadt. And I think he would do the same for Childe after seeing Childe's struggle and being able to relate to them.

They are always going to fight and argue because they just going to think along the different lines; cause Diluc cares too much about others, well Childe cares too little. But that kinda makes them balance each other out. Childe is able to get Diluc to take time and care about himself, and Dilcu is able to hold Childe back and think about long-run over moment to moment.

They are both incredibly flawed humans, and I think that's what they like about each other.

#genshin headcanons #childe #Tartaglia #ajax genshin impact #childe headcanons #diluc ragnvindr #chiluc #diluc x childe #childe x diluc #long post #I kinda rambled tbh #but I honestly love thier character #or maybe more of what I see in there characters #Oh well who cares #I'm having fun

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crab-in-a-pocket · 3 years

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reserved farmer headcanons + meeting the bachelors for the first time!

wanted to make some generally reserved farmer headcanons to kick off this blog and bc i see a lot of very friendly farmers out there and i... am not one of them LMAO

additionally, there's reference to a supposed volatile relationship with a (former?) loved one (projection time!)

also i forgot to open my askbox bc idk how to tumblr ?? i think it's open now (i hope).

tw: drinking and alcoholism, references to past trauma, one Bad Word (sh^t!)

when you first meet everyone, it's a quiet greeting and maybe a witty remark, but you don't stay for any chit-chat

close-lipped smiles are your signature move, along with the Man Nod whenever you run into someone

you are, of course, a nice and courteous person but you don't feel the need to say hello to everyone every damn time you pass by them because, really, you're too busy rushing to Pierre's for some seeds or lugging around foraged beach stuff

okay, maybe some of them think you're a little cold and an introvert who has... problems

but you're not! you are a strong and emotionally stable farmer who gets Shit Done and prefers to observe over participate and think over talk!

mayor lewis is extremely puzzled and almost mistakes you for someone else-- it's been over a decade and people change too much, too soon. he makes a remark about a wishing well your grandfather had built long ago (remember the well? how you fell in it that one time?) and you nod along politely (i didn't fall, i climbed in because i desperately needed my wish to come true)

it's nice to meet people who aren't as temperemental as the tides. maybe, for once, you could have a proper relationship with someone.

alex

easily the most annoying and extroverted person in town what with his obsession with sports and loud, brash personality but you two get along fabulously because you had that same passion for gridball in college before you were too busy being a corporate slave

he's a little surprised that you sit next to him at the saloon but he goes along easily and the conversation flows between the two of you easily, ranging from future plans (thinking of going pro... think i'll make it?) to the weather without sounding like you're making fake smalltalk (i wanted to play pro, too, and here i am now. if you really want it, you'll have to leave this all behind)

there's something genuine about him that's intriguing and it leaves you wanting to find out and see what the real alex is like inside because you can see through that wall he's made

and there's something enigmatic about you, who is reserved and quiet and seems to be a simple open book, when in fact, you are a very attractive onion with many, many layers

sam

you think he's immature. a wildchild, a manchild, a wildmanchild, really. sam, on the other hand, is drawn in by your calmness and how in-control you appear to be-- when you offer to play a game of pool when sebastian doesn't show up, he's delighted at the opportunity to know you better

okay, so he is immature and a wildmanchild but there is a softness in him that surprises you every time he shows it-- which is frequently around you

he has a soft smile to counteract his proud one and he's so in awe of how you get so much stuff done every day (i don't know how you do it, that's gotta be tough), every week, and every month (you'd like the responsibility, i think. to me, it's one big project i need to finish)

he has instant crush on you because you're so cool even though your line of profession really doesn't evoke much awe. i mean, you're attractive, you are so in control of your life, and you have a really cute smile whenever he compliments you-- how could he not?

shane

bit bold of you to sit next to him at the saloon because every knows he's can be a real asshole, but he glances at you with a hint of awe and more than a hint of annoyance. you elect to ignore this and choose to order a whisky on the rocks (if you don't drink, call it apple juice)

whisky: shane's a touch impressed because you look like a lightweight. well, it's nice that someone can hold their liquor. he makes a remark about it (planning on getting drunk, huh?) and you raise a brow at him, looking a little haughty and tell him that it's your drink for the week. he's annoyed at your remark and starts an argument that surprisingly, settles down into a civil conversation

apple juice: he snorts at that and makes a remark about meeting penny for your lessons the next day. you play along and sip at your drink, making witty remarks (thank yoba for hangovers. it's the non-drinker's edge, really. just like not having liver failure). he's not sure if he should be annoyed or impressed at your cool-as-a-cucumber personality, not sure if it's too big city or too closed-off

you offer to buy him a pizza if you can take a away his beer-- at any rate, he looks like he'll end up with liver failure the way he's going. shane aquiesces and devours the entire pizza. your conversation is slow and punctuated with his loud chewing but you're pleasantly suprised that he's quite smart and well-read about whatever you're interested in

the fourth time you sit next to him, he turns down your pizza and doesn't say a word. neither do you and it's almost like it's back to square one until you realize that he hasn't made a single salty remark about anything. you decide to try again the day after tomorrow-- nothing comes too quickly to people like you and shane.

sebastian

it was the necklace you wore that caught his eye. a shining teardrop stone hanging off a gleaming silver chain. he had spoken before he could stop himself and watched as you smiled and told him he was right-- it is supposed to be a Yeti's tear.

you're pleased to meet someone who is also a homebody and a touch more reserved than a lot of other people in town. he's easy to get along with (oh, you're kidding, you really have the signed edition?) and he's got pretty good taste when it comes to literature-- after all, who can refuse a good sci-fi book? (of course i do, i'm dedicated fan)

oddly enough, your conversation is quick and eager and not all reserved. instead of the companionable silence everyone assumes you two to have, you two nearly talk over each other because you finally have someone to complain to about everyone's over-friendliness and he finally has someone who understands what it's like to be trapped in a small world

you tease him about the corporate rat race and he fires back at you about being a part of it. you like sebastian and he likes you-- it's as simple as that.

elliot

he had heard of you through leah who had heard of you through emily who had heard of you through gus who had heard of you from lewis. it was a long grapevine and he's not sure how much of the truth was preserved and it's almost a relief to meet you because, to be frank, he's tired of being the town's newcomer.

first-- you're not peppy and overly cheerful at all. second, you are definitely not hot-tempered. and third, there's something so fascinating about you, something hidden under your calm, pragmatic character. he finds a kindred spirit in you, save for the flowery words and, admittedly, the vanity.

you're amused to meet a writer living on the beach. the cabin was built by one of your grandfather's old friends, a rather surly man who had taken a liking to you when you were much younger. while the hut is in no way fancy, you can't help but consider how pretentious and, contrastingly, humble the writer must be. pretentious in such a way that he thinks living in a sandy, damp shack is a way to beat writer's block (it's odd, it's rarely a choice people make) and humble in such a way that he accepts and bears with living in a worn house with little complaint (it's admirable, if not a little silly!)

you find yourself in his company late at night when you can't sleep and it's so easy to open up to him because he's kind, he listens, and most importantly, he's not embarassed to admit he's got faults, at least to you. you let him see past your collected facade and into your cracked heart far sooner than you think and elliot doesn't mind at all

harvey

you might be the most mysterious person in town simply because of the way you present yourself. he finds himself always stuttering a little whenever you're around because of the way you watch him, set in a relaxed stance, your gaze flat and cool. later, he realizes that it's your resting face. he wonders about what you'd look like if you smiled-- really smiled

he's touched at the fact that you buy him coffee whenever he had to patch you up-- which is frequently, given your liking for the mines. you're adorable when he gives you general anesthesia. he had run out of local anesthesia and you needed a fair amount of stitches and though you told him that you have a high pain tolerance (stitches are far more painful than you think. i really don't want to put you through that), he insisted and you let him (fine, fine. get on with it, doctor). you had let out several inappropriate jokes under anesthesia and your cheeks had hurt from laughing non-stop

harvey's entranced. there's no other way to put it-- he's bewitched by your bright character hiding under that collected facade. he never pries for your secrets because he's got secrets, too. you like harvey because he's sweet and compassionate and even though he has to put up a firm, professional affectation, he wears his heart on his sleeve.

you see him as a friend at first, all platonic and it seems to be the end of it. but one day, as you hand him a coffee, he laughs and smiles and hands you a coffee just the way you like it. you're falling for him so hard and fast you think someone's put a spell on you that makes you notice the minute expressions on his face and mull over the way he talks to you. you're in love with him-- you can only hope he feels the same way too

#stardew elliott #stardew harvey #stardew sam #stardew shane #stardew alex #stardew sebastian #stardew headcanon #stardew farmer #sdv hcs #sdv headcanons #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv alex #sdv shane #sdv reserved farmer #sdv farmer #my phone hates me but here :D

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

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Thank you "Worthwhile Trade". The idea of Baxia turning into an guai is so interesting. I liked imagining the part where she hit NMJ for his idiocy. My brain is projecting "married couple" vibes, omg. I admit despite how weird WWX spoke about the events, the time travel part flew over my head until the tags spelled it out for me. (TBC)

(Cont'd) Also... did NMJ mean it in THAT dual-thing way when talking WRH's prefs? And the last part, where WWX used resentful energy to sub NMJ's qi. I assume he can still cultivate since his core's still there, if emptied? But I wonder what'll happen to his energy once restored Can't help but think his renewed qi will inevitably be affected by the traces of the previous energy that once circulated. He's not going to become a walking stygian tiger or something, is he? Off the wall guess, sorry!

----

sequel to Worthwhile Trade (ao3), also on tumblr

Wei Wuxian didn’t understand Nie Mingjue.

He didn’t understand the way he thought, the way he acted – the way he smiled when he woke up, the way he opened his arms when Nie Huaisang threw himself into them with a wail and said, “It was worth it for you, didi; it always is if it’s for you. Don’t you know that?” the way Wei Wuxian had always shamefully thought of saying, as if something like that could just be said like that, out in the open.

The way Nie Mingjue shrugged when the doctors said his cultivation would likely never recover, that he should have died, that they didn’t understand why he hadn’t; the way he said, seeming even satisfied, that it was a worthwhile trade.

It’s not a trade, Wei Wuxian wanted to scream at him. It’s a sacrifice! It hurts and you’re sad, no, worse, you’re resentful about it and you shouldn’t be because it was your choice, your decision, but you see someone else with everything that you worked so hard for and you’re angry when you shouldn’t be angry and you feel bad and you turn away; it hurts them when you do and you’re glad, you miserable thing, you’re happy that they’re hurt because why should you be the only one whose hurt –

Perhaps the problem wasn’t that he didn’t understand Nie Mingjue.

Perhaps it was only that he saw in Nie Mingjue his own faults, his own deficiencies, the ones he’d tried so hard to hide in the sea of his poor memory.

“You’ll die if you don’t find a way to cultivate,” he said instead, hovering by the door. He’d say that he didn’t mean to ruin the mood, but he kind of did, and Baxia’s eyes on him were cold as if she knew.

As if she knew everything.

How he’d gone back to the past, how he’d changed things, how it was his fault that Nie Mingjue – who’d never done a single thing to hurt him, who’d been upright and righteous and good and whose brother loved him enough to –

Wei Wuxian had made a point of avoiding Baxia.

Not that she was that easy to avoid. She was tall for a woman – not as tall as Nie Mingjue, but proportionate to him in the sense that she was as much taller than the average woman as he was taller than the average man – and she walked as though people should flee before her, a tread that only felt heavy because of the almost visceral rage that surrounded her like a cloud.

Nie Huaisang had found robes for her, somehow, and they were the least feminine robes Wei Wuxian had ever seen a woman wear, though he supposed he still hadn’t seen that given that Baxia wasn’t exactly a woman. Cut in a martial style, a dark shimmering grey that seemed in some lights to be almost red – she had been born as a human in a mantle of blood and she would not let anyone forget it.

“I should have died already,” Nie Mingjue said, as if the world’s scariest guai didn’t have her hand on his shoulder right next to his vulnerable neck. “You came up with a solution, Wei-gongzi, and for that I thank you. Even if we are not able to solve the next stage, being able to see my loved ones is worthwhile.”

Wei Wuxian could learn to hate that word.

“I have a solution, of a sort,” he said, irritated and not entirely because his reveal had been preempted. He’d hoped to sort of ease into it, somehow. “You lack the capacity for regular cultivation, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use demonic cultivation.”

“What? No, we can’t do that,” Nie Huaisang said, biting his fingers anxiously. “Anyway, doesn’t demonic cultivation harm the temperament?”

“You mean my temperament can get worse?” Nie Mingjue teased, and Nie Huaisang smacked him so lightly that it didn’t even displace his clothing. “I don’t know any means of demonic cultivation, Wei-gongzi –”

“Call me Wei Wuxian,” Wei Wuxian said. “Please.”

“Wei Wuxian, then,” Nie Mingjue said. “All the methods I’ve ever heard of were forbidden for very good reasons – but perhaps those conditions are not the same in the method you know.”

Wei Wuxian tensed. “How do you know that I know one?”

“You saved me, didn’t you?” Nie Mingjue said practically, and well, yes, Wei Wuxian supposed he had a point – “And anyway, Baxia can tell.”

Wei Wuxian shivered. “I don’t use it,” he argued. “How can she tell?”

At Nie Huaisang’s instigation, Baxia had recently started experimenting with smiles. She put one on her face now.

It was terrifying.

“Tell me about it,” Nie Mingjue requested. “The powers and the price, all of it.”

“You’re actually considering this?” Nie Huaisang exclaimed. “But da-ge…!”

“Wei Wuxian was not wrong when he said that I would die if I didn’t find a way to cultivate despite having given up what I have,” Nie Mingjue said. “If I die, what will you do?”

Oh, not much, just become a mastermind capable of puppeting the entire cultivation world to enact revenge for your death. Nothing big.

“But – da-ge has always put such a priority on remaining on the righteous path…”

“That’s why I asked about the costs,” Nie Mingjue said patiently. “I will not abandon righteousness simply because I adopt a new method of cultivating.”

“Everyone will revile you even if you are righteous,” Wei Wuxian warned him.

Nie Mingjue shrugged. “Who is everyone? What do I care for them? You do the right thing because it is right, not for the sake of fame.”

Wei Wuxian had once thought the same.

“If everyone in the cultivation world thinks you are evil, they will paint you as evil no matter what you do,” he insisted. “No matter how righteous your motives –”

“Let them think he’s evil, then!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed. “He could be the most black-hearted cultivator in the land, but he’s still my da-ge; my Nie sect and I will protect him!”

“Huaisang! No! That is not how righteousness works – if I ever truly become evil, you are to cut me off at once, kill me if necessary –”

“No way!”

“Huaisang – Baxia, tell him; evil cannot be endured –”

Baxia was looking at her fingernails. She’d picked that gesture up from Sect Leader Ouyang, when he was trying to be pointed about ignoring someone; it was extremely irritating to absolutely everyone who wanted to know who she was and what she was doing here and Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian had teamed up to convince her to keep doing it.

Possibly a mistake, in retrospect.

“Baxia. I know you agree with me on this. Evil is evil, and must be eradicated no matter who it may be.”

She gave him an unimpressed look.

“I know I’m not evil yet,” Nie Mingjue argued, apparently understanding her without any difficulty whatsoever. He’d just woken up from a month-long coma and he could already speak fluent human-saber, it was really unfair. And this man had succumbed to Jin Guangyao’s wiles? Lan Xichen had more to answer for than he knew. “But if I ever become evil – what? No, we will not burn that bridge when we come to it, that’s not even the right idiom, who is teaching you these things –”

Nie Huaisang coughed and hid his face behind a fan.

Wei Wuxian was not going to laugh.

Nie Mingjue growled at them all and turned back to Wei Wuxian. “Explain,” he demanded. “The rest of you, out.”

“But –”

“Out. One of us has to cultivate the righteous path, and if it can’t be me, it has to be you. Baxia?”

She picked Nie Huaisang up by his collar, for all the world like a mother dog picking up her pup by the scruff of its neck, and walked out.

Nie Mingjue picked up demonic cultivation faster than anyone else Wei Wuxian had ever met or even heard of. He wasn’t sure if that demonstrated an unnerving aptitude or if it was simply that Nie Mingjue was surpassingly talented – Wei Wuxian had never met anyone like himself before, someone for whom all things came easy, and it was an unexpected delight to meet a kindred soul somewhere where he’d long ago given up hope. He’d never planned to unveil demonic cultivation in this life unless he truly needed it – he didn’t want to hurt his Lan Zhan the way he had in his first life, and anyway Jiang Cheng and Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu were all alive, with hundreds of Jiang sect members to boot, there was no need for his sacrifice – but the part of him that was more researcher and inventor than cultivator luxuriated in their discussions.

Nie Mingjue was a lot more concerned than Wei Wuxian had ever been with consequences, and how to mitigate them, but he supposed that made sense: losing his cultivation hadn’t impacted that Nie temper one bit, and demonic cultivation was likely to make things worse. Moreover, Nie Mingjue was simply who he was, stiff and unbending, as much steel in his spine as in Baxia’s; he could almost be described as being rigid in his thinking except for the fact that he was in fact seriously considering becoming a demonic cultivator.

“We’re saber cultivators,” Nie Mingjue said when Wei Wuxian tentatively brought it up. “Like a saber, our nature is to be firm and unyielding, not flexible like the sword, but we cannot allow ourselves to become too rigid – a too-rigid saber will break upon encountering an obstacle. It’s a difficult balance to keep, and one made more difficult by our cultivation style.”

“The demonic cultivation aspects, you mean? Using yao to refine your saber spirit?”

“One day, though not today, I’m going to ask you how you know about that,” Nie Mingjue remarked, and although his tone was causal Wei Wuxian’s back went cold. “And I’ll expect you to tell me the truth when I do. But not today. Anyway, yes, that’s what I mean. Do you know what they mean when they say that demonic cultivation harms the temperament?”

Wei Wuxian hesitated. “I assume you’re going to tell me something other than ‘it drives you crazy and makes you kill people’?”

Nie Mingjue snorted. “Sometimes I wonder how someone as smart as you got sent home before you finished your lessons at the Cloud Recesses, but other times it’s fairly obvious.”

Wei Wuxian shrugged, embarrassed.

“Do you really not know?”

“No one taught this to me,” Wei Wuxian said, stung. “I came up with it on my own. How would I know?”

“All demonic cultivation has the same root,” Nie Mingjue said. “Obsession.”

“With killing, yeah, I know, I’ve heard it a million times –”

“Shut up and listen, you impertinent brat. The killing comes later. It starts with obsession. Obsession with righteousness, obsession with love, obsession with the pleasures of this world, with power – a human becomes a demon when they cannot overcome the obsessions within their heart, and the obsession consumes them. In time, a demonic cultivator who is obsessed with power will do whatever it takes to obtain that power, and not mind the blood shed to do it; a demonic cultivator who is obsessed with love will kill everyone who they perceive stands between them and their love, a demonic cultivator who is obsessed with righteousness will turn to murder when in their judgment something that ought to be condemned goes unpunished…”

“What about one who only wants what’s best for his family?” Wei Wuxian said, and he did not know if the challenge in his voice was about Nie Mingjue’s future or his own past.

Nie Mingjue shrugged. “Two roads that I can see: first, their family turns away from them for what they have become and they become vicious with the abandonment, becoming quick to lash out against the world and eventually doing something that causes the world to turn against them. Second, their family stands by them, and eventually the world causes some harm to them – and the demonic cultivator turns to madness in revenge.”

“Not exactly an optimistic outlook.”

“Not especially, no.”

“You don’t seem as concerned by that as I would have thought.”

Nie Mingjue’s lips twitched. “I have a solution.”

“Would you like to share?”

“Using resentful energy to cultivate our sabers makes them prone to obsession, driving them ceaselessly to fight evil, destroy it, without discrimination. It makes them stronger, but also more dangerous – and that is why they must be carefully controlled.”

Wei Wuxian frowned. “So, what? You’re going to be the saber now? Under whose control?”

“Huaisang’s, of course,” Nie Mingjue said, as if it were obvious. “For better or for worse, he is sect leader now. Who else would it be?”

“But – what if you disagree? What if he wants to do things one way, and you another –”

“Then I argue and probably yell a lot, and if in the end he still insists on doing things his way, I listen,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “That’s how hierarchy works. Isn’t it the same for you? When your shidi, Jiang Cheng, becomes sect leader, you’ll need to listen to him – or leave the sect. There’s no middle ground.”

Wei Wuxian scowled.

“A sect leader that can’t control his disciples is worse than a demonic cultivator,” Nie Mingjue said. “He’s weak. A target, ripe to be ripped apart and devoured by other sects – resources raided, disciples poached, responsibilities taken away...It’s not a fate I would wish on anyone. If you can’t commit to obeying, commit to leaving so that you don’t end up promising more than you can give.”

Ouch.

Just – ouch.

Great advice, fantastic advice, world-class advice, and totally useless because Jiang Cheng had travelled back in time with him and was therefore convinced that Wei Wuxian was just looking for the first way out of the Jiang sect he could find, no matter what Wei Wuxian said or did about it.

(Even Madame Yu was concerned by the new coldness in their relationship and had tried to talk to him about it, which – Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to do with that. It didn’t match any of what he had thought he’d understood.)

He decided to focus back in on the demonic cultivation lessons, shifting from theoretical discussions to the practical, and that, unfortunately, was when they encountered an issue.

“What do you mean you can’t play an instrument?” Wei Wuxian demanded, appalled. “It’s one of the Six Arts! Everyone can play some sort of instrument – even Nie Huaisang plays an instrument!”

“Everyone agreed it was better that I stop learning,” Nie Mingjue said defensively. “It’s all just plucking on strings or blowing air in pipes, and yet no matter that I did exactly what the teacher said to do, it never worked, that’s all.”

“Didn’t Zewu-jun offer to teach you…?”

“He did. And then he said it would be better if we stopped, too.”

The reason, Wei Wuxian soon learned, was that Nie Mingjue was almost completely tone deaf, and the only reason it was almost was that he was still capable of differentiating speech.

“I agree with the majority,” he said after an extremely frustrating day. “Stop. Never pick up an instrument ever again. And don’t let anyone but Zewu-jun play something especially for you, either, okay? Even if they’re highly recommended.”

“An interesting request,” Nie Mingjue said, eyebrows arched skeptically. “May I ask why?”

“Because you’ll have no idea if they’ve changed the music on you,” Wei Wuxian said bluntly. A great deal about the man’s murder in a different life made sense now, and Jin Guangyao’s brilliance in hiding the score of Turmoil inside of Clarity was a little less impressive when played to a man who thought all music, without exception, was just plucking strings or blowing air. “Musical cultivation is deadly in the right hands, especially if you lower your defenses against it. Just consider it a precaution.”

Nie Mingjue’s eyebrows remained arched, but he hummed in agreement.

“I guess we’ll have to think of a new way for you to cultivate demonic cultivation,” Wei Wuxian said, rubbing his face. He had not been planning on having to invent demonic cultivation at all in this life, and now he needed to not only ‘invent’ the original but actually come up with something new. Why was his life so hard? “How did you previously manipulate external energy?”

“With Baxia.”

“Well, that’s not helpful, is it? You can’t wield a human being. Perhaps another saber…?”

That didn’t work, primarily because it turned out that Baxia had strong feelings about Nie Mingjue even thinking about using another saber and well, as far as Wei Wuxian was concerned, whatever Baxia wanted, Baxia got.

(Nie Huaisang had had to go to Heijan once, with Wei Wuxian and Baxia accompanying him since Nie Mingjue wasn’t ready yet, and some unlucky Wen captain had tried to ambush them. That captain, and his squad, were not granted the courtesy of an intact corpse, and Baxia hadn’t even gotten a speck of blood on her nice new robes – no, Wei Wuxian would not be crossing Baxia any time soon.)

“There’s got to be something,” Wei Wuxian said, and Nie Mingjue agreed, and in the end they found something.

Nie Mingjue had been absent-mindedly playing around with one of Nie Huaisang’s fans when one of the fierce corpses Wei Wuxian had raised as practice targets had gotten loose; instinct had taken over and Nie Mingjue had lashed out with the weapon at hand as if it were a saber, and the resentful energy had surged in response –

Baxia was apparently not threatened by the notion of her master using a fan as a weapon, not even one inlaid with steel and heavy cloth with enough layers to catch a sword in.

(If Wei Wuxian needed to go have some time to himself at the sight of Nie Huaisang, dressed as a sect leader with his saber always at his side, standing next to Nie Mingjue holding a fan – well, that was his problem, and also one he intended to show to Jiang Cheng at the next possible opportunity. Someone else deserved to have their mind wrecked by the incongruity as much as he had.)

Even without the weirdness of Nie Mingjue, it was more than a little odd to see Nie Huaisang in the robes of a sect leader without him acting like the Head-shaker. The shock of having to become sect leader had fallen heavily on him: he had become a little more serious, a little more earnest (though still a bit frivolous); he was more inclined to listen and think things over, less inclined to run away.

“If da-ge is going to become a demonic cultivator, someone needs to stand behind him,” Nie Huaisang said simply when Wei Wuxian had tried probing. “He’s always held the world up for me – it’s the least I can do for him. I may not be able to do much, I might be terrible at it, but I owe it to him to at least try.”

Wei Wuxian wondered, sometimes, if Jiang Cheng would have stood up for him if only he had trusted in him, believed in him, the way Nie Mingjue believed in his notoriously useless little brother.

Maybe he’d ask, when he went back to the Jiang sect.

Maybe he’d –

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” Jiang Cheng said as a greeting, and for once Uncle Jiang didn’t disagree. “All those letters and you never once mentioned the terrors?”

“The what,” Wei Wuxian said, and that was how he learned that while he was on his way back to Yunmeng neither Baxia nor Nie Mingjue had wasted any time utilizing their newfound skills out on the battlefield.

Nie Huaisang was never going to be a particularly respected sect leader, especially by those that had met him beforehand, but evidently that wasn’t really important given that he was constantly flanked by what was being called the two terrors of Qinghe.

Nie Mingjue preferred darker colors now that he was no longer sect leader, the same dark grey shading towards black that Baxia had selected for herself, and the selection somehow made him seem even taller, verging on inhuman, and Baxia standing beside him, her human features patterned roughly after his, made the two of them appear a matched set. Nie Mingjue wielded the fan that Wei Wuxian had helped him design, which he had forged with his own hands out of the metal from the Xuanwu’s cave that Wei Wuxian had foolishly figured someone ought to get some use out of, painted over with a cinnabar array in Nie Huaisang’s careful brushstrokes, and in his hands it was both weapon and conduit for the raising of armies of corpses. Baxia, for her part, held nothing but required nothing, a sweeping gesture of her hand more devastating than a dozen blows with the saber.

They were terrifying, a nightmare writ large and unmistakably dangerous, undeniably demonic cultivators in a way that was entirely different from Wei Wuxian’s own dramatics, and it unnerved the rest of the cultivation world the way Wei Wuxian had feared it would.

“It won’t be a problem,” Jiang Cheng said impatiently. “The Nie sect are ascending in strength, and this only adds to their mystique – who would challenge them?”

“Uh, Jin Guangshan,” Wei Wuxian said. “Like last time?”

Jiang Cheng huffed. “At this rate, I don’t even think Jin Guangyao will bother defecting to the Jin sect,” he said. “Not if he knows how to play his cards right. The Nie sect’s strength in the original version was never about Chifeng-zun’s skill with the blade alone. It was the whole sect’s strength, with Chifeng-zun’s ability to wield them as skillfully as he did his saber; he’s an outstanding general. And now they have him as a general, him as a demonic cultivator, and whatever the fuck is going on with Lady Baxia –”

“I already told you. She’s a guai.”

“Like I already told you, it doesn’t matter how many times you say that, I will immediately expel the knowledge from my mind and you should too. ‘Immortal cultivator cousin that my brother named his saber after’, like what Nie Huaisang has been putting about, is a perfectly acceptable cover story.”

“And the fact that his saber disappeared at the same time?”

“Coincidence,” Jiang Cheng said firmly. “And we’re sticking with that. Anyway, the point is that if you’re an ambitious man, the Nie sect is the place to be right now and probably will continue to be in the future. This is going to be evident to both Jin Guangshan and the future Jin Guangyao, and we’ll need to deal with that.”

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Wei Wuxian promised. “After rescuing Chifeng-zun and helping with the demonic cultivation, I’ve gotten pretty close to them.”

“Mm. And how about your other mission?”

Wei Wuxian scowled at the smirk on Jiang Cheng’s face. “You know perfectly well that I haven’t had any time to seduce Lan Wangji, what with how busy I’ve been. I don’t even know for sure if he likes me yet -!”

“You’re an idiot, he does, and you’re not allowed to keep us all in suspense for two decades this time. Figure it out.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I’m sticking you with the job of being an information courier and you leave for the Lan sect front line tomorrow.”

“You are the best shidi ever,” Wei Wuxian said, and meant it.

Jiang Cheng huffed. “Yeah, well,” he said as if his cheeks weren’t red. “Remember that in the future. In this life we’re the Twin Heroes, you hear me? No take-backs.”

Nie Mingjue was right: Wei Wuxian would need to either learn to obey or tell Jiang Cheng early on that he was leaving, and walking a path in the middle would only cause heartbreak all over again.

“Okay,” he said, deciding to ask Lan Wangji for advice on obedience. Surely that was something that could be learned? “Deal. You do know that that means Lan Wangji’s going to have to marry in, right?”

“Oh no,” Jiang Cheng said, voice entirely flat. “How terrible. I’ll find a way to manage dealing with that ice block somehow…listen, I don’t care if you end up calling him Wei Sizhui in this life, but don’t ruin his character. He was perfectly nice.”

“I don’t know if he’s even been born yet,” Wei Wuxian said glumly. “I’ve been looking, but…”

“I’ve asked some of Mother’s spies to keep track of Wen Ning and Wen Qing,” Jiang Cheng said. “Collecting evidence we’ll need for their inevitable post-war trial, assuming we want them to live better lives than just refugees. Give it time, we’ll find him.”

“Now I just need to see if Lan Wangji will want to raise children with me…”

“Wei Wuxian. I don’t care. Go.”

#mdzs #nie mingjue #wei wuxian #nie huaisang #baxia #jiang cheng #my fic #my fics #academic discussion of demonic cultivation #this isn't an answer to your question but I hope you like it anyway #tkpartisan

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intelligent-trash · 3 years

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Jo, Kate, and their parallels with the Orpheus/Eurydice myth

Okay, so I know this may seem totally out there, but bear with me on this - I promise, I have a point, and I am really interested to hear your thoughts on these parallels.

So I just wrote this all out once only for tumblr to delete it as I was about to post, so like, yay for that. Also I’m on 4 hours sleep and very brain frazzled from recently submitting my dissertation, so apologies if there’s any nonsensical aspects. I will preface this with a note that I am by no means a Greek mythology expert, I just really love Hadestown and subsequently the Orpheus/Eurydice myth, and noticed there were some significant parallels between it and the Kate/Jo story which I wanted to draw.

For those not particularly familiar with the Orpheus/Eurydice myth, I’d give it a quick google, but I’ll be drawing comparisons between that story and Kate/Jo’s here.

Orpheus is a talented musician, whose musical gift was said to entrance even nature itself. In a slightly less mythical but no less impressive fashion, we have Kate, whose known proficiencies and dedication to the anticorruption cause, even after she leaves AC-12, make her stand out as an exceptional detective. Orpheus meets Eurydice and is instantly drawn to her beauty – she is drawn to his voice, and they soon fall in love. It is not Kate’s voice that draws in Jo, but the promise of freedom she offers with her anticorruption background that initially draws her in – we know from 6x06 that that is why Jo initially hired her. With Jo, I think Kate finds a kindred spirit (plus, who are we kidding, Kelly is bloody beautiful) to whom she connects with and is drawn to. Much like Orpheus and Eurydice, who seem almost magnetised in how they are drawn to one another, I think there are definitely some parallels in how Kate and Jo are drawn to one another and the chemistry they share, despite coming from very opposing backgrounds (Jo as the coerced daughter of an OCG boss, forced to do their bidding in secret VS one of the most dedicated (ex-)anticorruption officers)

Orpheus and Eurydice decide to marry, and have a brief moment of wedded bliss before everything goes downhill. Whilst I’d love a flemson wedding, I can’t see that in the near future, nor is it relevant for the parallels being drawn – I would instead draw attention to their Frederico’s date, the intimacy shared there, and the proposed weekend date, where they existed in a bit of a honeymoon state of excitement surrounding this somewhat illicit close connection.

Of course, this can’t last. Aristaeus’ love for Eurydice, and jealousy of Orpheus, drives him to chase the pair down, intending to kill Orpheus and take Eurydice for his own. Aristaeus is more of a metaphor for the OCG controlling Jo, rather than any one individual – by Jo getting close to Kate, it threatens the OCG’s concealment, and thus Kate must be eliminated so they can regain control over Jo. As Eurydice and Orpheus run to escape the OCG, a clear parallel could be drawn with the man-hunt of 6x06.

Eurydice stumbles and falls, and as Orpheus turns he sees she has been bitten by a deadly viper, and has died. Whilst Jo does not literally die at this point in the story, her imprisonment could represent a metaphorical death – she is no longer able to act freely alongside Kate, her relationship with Kate is irrevocably changed after the whole murder attempt fiasco, and Kate will struggle to get through to Jo even more than before now she is in jail – and, as the viewers are well aware, in the jail with the two dodgy prison officers who pose a clear threat to her.

At this point, Orpheus, driven by grief, appeals to his father, the God Apollo, to permit him to go to the underworld and seek his wife from Hades, in a somewhat hair-brained but brilliant scheme. We are yet to see this play out in 6x07, but the trailer appears to suggest some kind of attempt to get Jo out of prison, for which AC-12 become involved – specifically, Kate. I anticipate that, despite the murder attempt, Kate will be deeply affected by Jo’s imprisonment, and likely will be part of the driving force to prove she isn’t bent – like she has been, all series, in spite of all the proof staring her in the face. I imagine Kate will be prepared to put herself in a dangerous position within this, fully aware of the Lakewell incident, to help save Jo – and I wouldn’t be surprised if she is the one to suggest or somehow initiate this operation. The crazy part of it comes from the fact they are well aware of what happened to Lakewell, and are likely having to develop some sort of crazy plan to try and get around that – quite possibly, intentionally drawing out the OCG in the process.

Orpheus approaches Hades, asking for entry into the underworld, for which he receives no challenges. When he approaches Hades and Persephone, he sings to them of his desire for Eurydice to be returned to them, and convinces Hades to return Eurydice. However, there is a condition – he must walk back towards the world of the living, and she must follow him, and he cannot look back, or else she will be trapped in the underworld forever and he will be unable to reach her. Essentially, Orpheus must trust that Eurydice will be following behind him, will have chosen to return with him to the land of the living. Eurydice is demonstrating her faith in him by allowing him to lead her out of the underworld. This aspect of the story is highly speculative, as 6x07 is currently yet to air – but Kate has to place some trust in Jo, that she will follow through with their plan, that she won’t betray her again. Jo had demonstrated some basis for being trusted, with placing her prints on Kate’s gun and taking the fall for her in. 6x06, but now it is imperative that Kate trusts Jo to follow through – likely on providing information – so Kate can free her from her past OCG ties, hopefully in some kind of witness protection as opposed to jail.

But the story of Orpheus and Eurydice is a tragic love story. Orpheus, having reached the light himself, turns to look upon his wife. In doing so, he seals her fate – she is trapped in the underworld forever. How this translates to the story of Kate/Jo is unclear, but my speculation is that there is some incident where Kate’s trust in Jo briefly falters, which ultimately proves fatal to Jo – and it will turn out, Jo WAS trustworthy all along, but Kate’s hesitancy to believe in Jo (understandably so) was the tragic flaw in their relationship, particularly as up to that point they had implicitly trusted one another. Orpheus has a brief moment where he sees Eurydice before she is returned to the underworld – for Kate and Jo, I imagine this will be a moment of “I was never pretending” style confessions before Jo’s tragic end.

Orpheus is heart-broken by the incident, losing the joy that had previously characterised his music. Kate’s music, in this case, is her faith within the anticorruption cause. Whilst I don’t think she will lose it entirely, I think she will become a lot more cynical and unconvinced regarding its success, particularly as they were so close to saving Jo before they lost her, to what in Kate’s eyes was her own struggles with trusting Jo would follow her into the light (ie. freedom from the OCG). But Jo was following her the whole time.

The comparison between Jo/Kate and Orpheus/Eurydice highlight how Jo/Kate’s story, at its heart, is a tragic love story – obviously, dependent on the outcome of 6x07, which could render this completely obsolete. But I just thought the parallels were really interesting, and I would love to hear others thoughts on this. (I will say, my initial post of this was much more in depth, but tumblr decided to delete it, so I rewrote it from memory as best I could). Obviously, it is entirely possible this is all coincidental, and that I am just simply drawing from my love for Hadestown and projecting it upon one of my other favourite shows. However, if Jed DID intend to have some loose parallels, that is really interesting and very telling to how Jo/Kate’s relationship was intended to be perceived. Plus, it’s pretty fucking poetic too.

Anyway, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, so please let me know! I apologise if this reads as rushed or messy or anything, it was just an idea bouncing in my head this morning, and I really wanted to see what people thought!

#flemson #line of duty #bbc line of duty #Kate fleming #jo davidson #Joanne davidson #my content #line of duty theories #jo x kate

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