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#I stayed up to finish joan
pawzofchaos · 11 months
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when the clones get high or something but they’re fucking furries
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faithshouseofchaos · 10 days
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Straight to dessert— Pato O’ward x reader
Warnings smut
Word count 1k
Sent to me by my Pookie @moss-on-tmblr
When Pato returned home from the gym, he discovered you in the kitchen, preparing dinner. You were dressed in attire that was a bit more revealing than your typical clothing, likely due to the intense heat wave outside. Leaning casually against the door frame, Pato observed you as you cooked, humming and swaying to the rhythm of the song "Secreto de amor.”
Smiling to himself Pato pushed himself off the door frame and walked up behind you placing his hands on your hips and started to sway to the rhythm of the song along with you.
"Mmm, what a lovely surprise," you murmured, as Pato wrapped his arms around your waist, swaying in perfect sync to the music. The warm, gentle touch of his hands against your hips sent tingles down your spine, heightening the intimate moment.
Smiling, Pato rested his chin upon your shoulder, enjoying the feeling of your body gently moving against his. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, the intoxicating scent of your fragrance filling his senses.
"You smell incredible," Pato whispered into your ear, his breath hot against your skin.
His fingers traced small patterns through the fabric of your clothes, caressing your curves with a reverent touch. He felt your body shiver in response, and he couldn't help but press a soft kiss against your neck, savoring the taste of your skin.
"I could stay like this for hours," Pato murmured, "Just swaying with you in my arms."
"Mmm," you replied, your voice husky with desire.
You placed your spatula on the counter, turning in Pato's arms to face him. With a sultry smile, you reached up and ran your fingers through his hair, before pulling him down for a deep, passionate kiss. Your mouths met hungrily, and you pressed yourself closer to him, feeling his strong body against your own.
Pato's hands roamed your back, pulling you tighter as the kiss intensified. His heart raced, his desire for you growing with each passing moment.
Pulling away slightly, Pato placed gentle kisses along your jawline and down your neck, the heat between you almost palpable. His hands continued to explore your body, tracing over the contours of your hips and up your sides until he reached the curve of your breasts.
"You're driving me crazy," he whispered, a low groan escaping his lips as he nuzzled his face into your neck. "I want you so badly... But we should probably finish cooking dinner."
You chuckled, running your fingers through Pato's hair once more.
"How about this?" you suggested, stepping back from his embrace. "Why don't we forget dinner, and then that way we can have dessert upstairs in our bedroom right now?"
Pato's eyes darkened with desire and his lips curved into a seductive smile. He wasted no time in accepting your proposal.
"That sounds like a brilliant plan," he replied, his voice husky with longing. Without another word, he took your hand and led you towards the stairs, his heartbeat quickening with anticipation.
As soon as you reached the bedroom, Pato's kisses grew more intense, his tongue exploring your mouth with a desperate hunger. His hands roamed your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire wherever he touched.
With a low growl of desire, Pato pulled you closer, his fingers slipping underneath your clothing. You moaned softly, feeling the heat between you growing even stronger.
Slowly, gently, Pato guided you towards the bed, his mouth never leaving yours. When the back of your knees touched the edge of the mattress, he eased you down onto the sheets, his body covering yours as he kissed you passionately.
The air between you was thick with desire, the heat of the moment almost too much to withstand. You felt yourself giving in to the overwhelming feelings, losing yourself in the intoxicating rhythm of his kisses. As Pato lay on top of you, his kisses trailed down your neck, his lips leaving a burning trail of desire in their wake. The weight of his body pressing against yours felt like an exquisite torment, heightening every sensation.
Your breaths grew shallower as his mouth continued its exploration of your skin, each touch sending shivers of pleasure coursing through your veins. Slowly, he began to pull at your clothing, his fingers working patiently to undress you.
"You're beautiful," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin as he continued to kiss his way down your body.
Pato's touch was like an explosion of sensations, overwhelming your senses. Everywhere his lips touched left a mark of pleasure, and you felt your body responding eagerly to each caress. The world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you in the heat of the moment.
Your fingers tangled in Pato's hair, pulling him closer, lost in the intense passion that consumed you both. "Don't stop," you whispered, your voice filled with longing. Pato's reply was a low, possessive growl as he captured your lip in another passionate kiss, his hands eagerly exploring every inch of your body.
The heat between you crackled with electricity, each touch igniting a fire that threatened to consume all rational thought. Nothing else mattered at that moment except the overwhelming desire that drove you both toward the brink of ecstasy.
The air was now so thick with desire, that it was hard to breathe.
Pato had discarded his shirt, leaving both of your upper bodies naked. You felt his chest press against your own, skin on skin, sending waves of pleasure coursing through every nerve. His kisses grew more urgent now, as he began to trail his lips down your stomach, his destination clear. "You taste incredible," Pato mumbled against your skin, his voice filled with adoration. His lips continued their descent to the edge of your underwear, where he paused for a moment, his breath hot against your flesh.
A low, needy moan escaped your lips, and you felt his answering smile against your skin. Slowly, he slid the last piece of clothing off your body, leaving you completely exposed to his burning gaze.
"Perfect," he murmured, his eyes roaming over your naked form.
He began planting soft, gentle kisses along the inside of your thigh, his lips tracing a path of fire toward your core. You gasped, arching your back, as heat pooled between your legs.
His tongue teased along the sensitive skin, sending shocks of pleasure through your body. Your grip on his hair tightened, pressing his face closer, desperate for more. His hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place as his kisses grew more insistent. Slowly, he increased his pace, his tongue flicking over your most sensitive spot. You cried out in pleasure, your body trembling as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over you.
Pato continued to explore you with his mouth, his focus solely on your pleasure. His touch was like an inferno of desire, and you felt yourself falling deeper and deeper into the abyss of ecstasy.
The intensity was building, and your breaths came in short, sharp gasps as you felt yourself nearing the peak.
"Please, Pato," you moaned, needing more, needing release. But his tongue continued its relentless ministrations, driving you ever closer to the edge until you finally fell over, crying out his name as your body quivered with the force of your orgasm.
Gradually, as the waves of pleasure subsided, Pato slowed his movements, planting gentle kisses along your thighs and stomach as you came back down to earth.
He looked up at you with a satisfied smile, his eyes filled with adoration. With a tender touch, he caressed your cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of your lower lip.
"Are you okay, mi amor?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Okay?" you replied, your voice breathless with pleasure. "I'm better than okay. I'm still seeing stars."
Pato chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "Good. Because I'm not done with you yet."
You arched an eyebrow, heat pooling between your legs once more at his words. "Oh?" you purred. "Is that so?"
Pato grinned, his eyes gleaming with hunger. "Oh, absolutely," he murmured, kissing his way up your body. "We're just getting started."
Without warning, Pato captured your mouth in a ravenous kiss, his tongue delving deep as he positioned himself between your legs. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him closer, needing to feel him against you. Slowly, he began to press into you, his breath catching at the sensation. You gasped, your nails digging into his back as he filled you. His movements were slow and deliberate, allowing you time to adjust to the delicious fullness.
"You feel incredible," he murmured, his voice filled with desire. "So hot and tight. I could stay like this forever."
You moaned in response, unable to form coherent words. Your mind was hazy with pleasure, your every thought consumed by the feel of his body inside you. His hands were everywhere, caressing every inch of your body as he continued his slow, methodical pace. The intensity was building once more, the heat between you almost unbearable. Every nerve was on fire, every touch igniting a new spark of ecstasy.
You whispered his name like a prayer, your breath coming in quick gasps. You could feel the fire coiled tightly in the pit of your stomach, threatening to explode at any moment.
Then, as if he could sense your impending release, Pato's movements quickened. He thrust harder, his rhythm growing more erratic. A guttural groan of pleasure escaped him, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breath coming in hot gasps against your skin.
The combination of his relentless pace and the feel of his breath on your skin was too much to bear, and you felt yourself tumbling over the edge once more, your body shuddering with pleasure as you cried out his name.
Seconds later, Pato followed suit, his body convulsing sharply with his release. As the last waves of ecstasy washed over him, he collapsed onto you, burying his face into your shoulder, his breath ragged. For a long moment, neither of you moved. You lay there, intertwined, sweat-slick bodies pressed firmly together, as you both caught your breath. The room was quiet, save for the combined sounds of your harsh breathing.
"That...was...amazing," Pato whispered, his voice hoarse. He pulled back slightly, propping himself up on one elbow so he could look down at you.
You met his gaze, a lazy smile on your lips. "It was," you agreed, raising a hand to brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead.
"We're never cooking dinner again," he declared with a wicked grin. "From now on, we're skipping straight to dessert."
You laughed, threading your fingers through his hair. "Sounds like a perfect plan to me," you agreed, pulling him in for a soft, lingering kiss.
As you lay there in each other's arms, limbs tangled and hearts beating as one, the heat of the night finally began to subside.
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netherfeildren · 1 year
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Someone's Wife in the Boat of Someone's Husband .5
Series Masterlist : Moodboard
(Joel Miller x F!Reader)
Content Warnings: Possessive behavior; Jealousy; Size difference; Size kink; One sad horny old man; Angst!!!! that will continue just FYI no abusing poor little vic for enjoying the suffering of others :) it’s not my fault :)
Rating: Explicit 18+
A/N: peep the cameo!!!!!! :) 
Word Count: 6.1K
Read on AO3
.5
Vanish. Pass into nothingness: the Keats line that frightened her. Fade as the blue nights fade, go as the brightness goes. Go back into the blue. I myself placed her ashes in the wall. I myself saw the cathedral doors locked at six. I know what it is I am now experiencing. I know what the frailty is, I know what the fear is. The fear is not for what is lost. What is lost is already in the wall. What is lost is already behind the locked doors. The fear is for what is still to be lost. You may see nothing still to be lost. Yet there is no day in her life on which I do not see her.
Joan Didion, Blue Nights
Weeks pass after that night in his truck. He calls, many times, but you never answer. And it makes you feel like the worst sort of liar, but you can’t. You can’t hear the sound of his voice, it’ll ruin you, destroy your resolve, force you to your knees at his feet, which is, if you’re being honest, the only place you really want to be. It is, perhaps, the greatest struggle of your entire life, to hold on by the skin of your teeth to this idea you have of what it is he and his marriage should remain as, and what you and he should be and should not be. 
It’s Gerri’s birthday, and Tommy and her sister had decided to throw her a party at her house. Big surgeon money makes for a big fancy house, and Gerri was over the moon, filled with happiness and laughter and that wonderful brand of Gerri specific infectious glee that forces even your miserable, morose self to pull your butt out of bed and get ready to go celebrate her. She knows you’re sad, missing him, even if she doesn’t know it’s him specifically. Although, you suspect she might have an idea of it. 
She’d begged you to come during class at the start of the week, planting her stubborn butt on a stool to stare you down while the rest of your students finished up their work and then put away their materials. Please’s and threats of tears and bodily harm and promises of copious amounts of alcohol, and if you’re feeling up to it, I could even hook you up with someone – an accompanying waggle of her eyebrows. What about a surgeon? My sister knows the perfect, sexy doctor for you. You’d profusely, profusely refused that. You could not even consider another man right now, the idea was almost repulsive to you. As she begged and pleaded and whined, another one of your students had come up, eavesdropping on the pathetic display of supplication, “Come on, teach. Don’t be a sour puss, put her outta her misery, and go to the fucking party with her,” she’d laughed. One of your best students – she had the most gorgeous tattoo on the inside of her forearm of two overlapping ferns with an intricately detailed moth at the head. She’d told you once she’d sketched it herself. You’d rolled your eyes at them, sour puss, my ass. But you knew you had to get out of this hole you’d dug yourself into, and so, their teasing had gotten to you in the end – forced you to agree to the party out of sheer preservation for your reputation. Gerri’d taken to calling you the boring barnacle… yeah, and she’d never stop if you didn’t agree – would probably force all your other students into making fun of you for the rest of the semester, as well. Annoying little shit, it was very aggravating that you loved her so much. 
-
The house is stunning – big surgeon money indeed. All shining glass, sleek wood and modern edges. A huge infinity pool in the backyard, flanked by an impressively sized guest house that Gerri said she and Tommy stayed in sometimes when they got too drunk to drive home. 
There was, after all, a doctor from Andrea’s work waiting for you at their undesired and annoyingly meddlesome behest. He was nice, handsome, boring. Not tall enough, not broad enough, hair blonde and straight and kind of straw-like – no dark, silver streaked curls and deep, warm eyes. He kind of reminds you of a shiny scarecrow, if you’re being honest and not very kind. Not Joel enough. But he was nice, and seemingly interested and he’d gotten you a drink and stayed by your side all night, attentive and polite. 
You feel miserable and made out of plastic. Your smile, fake, forced, terrible. Something has to be done about this. Perhaps, electrotherapy, a lobotomy, an exorcism. Anything to get him out of your head. 
The shiny, blonde scarecrow – doctor – is telling you about his shiny, blonde family and their fancy skiing trips now, and oh, do you ski? No? I bet you’d love it – maybe I can take you one day? Never mind that you’d been born without a single athletic bone in your entire body, when, suddenly, you hear your name being barked, rough and angry, from behind you, and then a large, searing hot palm circling your bicep on one side while his other palm slides along the span of the small of your back to grip you at the bend of your waist. Fuck. 
“Joel–”
“Hi, sweetheart.” He does not look at you as he says it, but his grip on your waist tightens for one second. He’s staring down the shiny scarecrow, murder in his eyes. Oh, that look is very scary. 
“What are you doing here?” He turns the scary look on you at that, and nope, nope, it’s even scarier pointed in your direction.
“Tommy told me you were here.”
“Wh– what? Why would he tell you?” He gives you a pointed look, and you glance at the scarecrow, nervous. “You told Tommy?” you whisper back at Joel. 
Poor doctor man looks at a loss, gaze swinging back and forth between the two of you. “I’m so sorry, can you give us a minute?” you say, embarrassed. He takes one look at Joel’s terrifying face and scampers away.
-
Moron, he thinks, sour gaze following the fucker as he tucks tail and runs. He turns back to you, answering your question, “Didn’t have to, baby. He figured it out on his own. Don’t think we’ve been what one could call discreet if you’re really paying attention.”
You shut your eyes tight, bring up a shaky hand up to rub at the delicate wing of your brow. He desperately wants to smooth out the tiny frown marring the space between your eyes. 
“N– no– but,” you stutter. 
He takes the drink you’re holding out of your hand, takes a sip of it – something sweet and way too strong for your light-weight little butt. “Mm, he get that for you?”
You scrunch your nose up at him, and he knows he’s meant to take it as a sign of your annoyance, but all he can think is that you’re too adorable for your own good. “Wh– I– you overbearing, ridiculous – give that back!” you frown up at him as he holds it out of your reach. He sets the glass on a table behind you.
“Hmm–” His big hands span the width of your waist, can’t help himself, you’re so small compared to him. It makes his cock so hard. “Let me talk to you, please. Let’s go somewhere quiet.” He doesn’t care that he’s not supposed to be here, that he shouldn’t be bothering you, he’s reached the end of his rope. 
“No – go away. It’s– it’s Gerri’s birthday.” You try to wiggle out of his grasp, but he pulls you further into his chest. “I’m supposed to be having fun. She said she’d be mad if I didn’t have fun.” There are already overwhelmed tears in your eyes, and if he wasn’t so fucking desperate to see you, to talk to you after all these weeks of you ignoring him, he’d run away. Far, far away, where he can never make you cry again. 
“Just for a little bit, please,” he whispers into the shell of your ear, causing the little wisps of hair there to flutter. 
You shiver. “Where– where’s Sarah?” You bring your small hand up to clutch at his beard, cup his jaw, and scratch your nails gently down the side of his cheek, and fuck, he’s ready to burst, just with that, even as your other hand feebly tries to push at his chest. He slides a hand low on your back to press your pelvis into his. 
“Baby-sitter.” Hearing you ask after his daughter has that soft spot behind his ribs where you live now, burn and pinch painfully. 
“And–” 
He cuts you off, doesn’t want to hear you talking about her. “Gone for the weekend – work conference.” Not that he believed that.
You open your eyes again, the tears lining your lashes make them almost glow in your skull. He can’t help himself, he bends to press a soft kiss over your eye, feels the whispering, wet flutter of your long lashes against his mouth. You let out a broken mewl for him – full of all your matched wanting. “F– fine. We’ll– we’ll just talk.”
Just talk, just talk, just talk. 
He can feel the pulse of his blood beat through the line of his erection against his thigh. He wraps his hand around yours and starts leading you through the house, spots Tommy at the back of the kitchen, leaning against the counter talking to someone. His brother takes in the two of you together, gives him a subtle nod, inclines his head towards the backyard – the guest house where Joel was headed. Tommy had known, since that day so long ago when Joel had tried to discreetly tag along to the college – hoping to get a glimpse of you, he’d known there was something. Nothing discreet about your half assed excuses, reeked’a desperation, he’d said. His brother wanted him to be happy, to have a good, fulfilling relationship. He’d been telling Joel to get a lawyer for months, had been the first to tell him to not get married. He’d help him now, give the two of you time to sort this out. He knows just how insane Joel had been these past few weeks, like a caged animal, pacing and hissing at not being able to get at you. 
He steps out the back door and pulls you towards the guest house. He’d been here once, months ago, helping Gerri’s sister out with a repair she’d needed. The two of you would have privacy there to talk, for you to finally stop avoiding him. He needs to speak to you, touch you, smell you. He was going out of his goddamn mind thinking about you, dreaming about you. His cock, constantly at half mast and leaking, at all hours of the day, just at your memory. Desperate, that’s what he is, he’s desperate for you. 
“Who was that guy?”
“Who?” Your voice is anxious, breath hitching. He knows you’re twisting yourself up in knots, and he turns to pull you into his arms now, in the privacy of the dark room, lit only by the light of the moon spilling through the large bay windows. 
“The one you were talking to.” He draws his palm slowly up and down the line of your spine, feelings the little bumps and jitters of your trembling form. Skittish little rabbit. He rubs his mouth over the line of your hair, baby soft wisps tickling his nose and mouth. You smell so good, he wants to rub himself all over you like some sort of animal – mark his territory.
“Wh– I– You cannot be serious right now.” You push at him, turn to move away, but he catches you around the bend of your elbow, tugging you back forcefully into his chest. He presses his front along the line of your back, grips your hip to bring your ass into the hard line of his cock. 
“Does this feel serious to you?” He’s hard as stone, throbbing beneath his jeans. 
“Oh God, Joel–”
“Don’t want you talkin’ to other men, thinking about any other men. I know it sounds insane – can’t help it, I’m sorry.”
“I– I don’t think about anyone else but you,” you whimper. 
He wraps his arms around your waist, brings one large hand up to cradle the weight of your breast and squeeze. He can feel the stiff little furl of your nipple through your dress. He feels a little unhinged right now, overwhelmed by the feel and scent of you. “I miss you,” he whispers. “Have you missed me?” He presses a soft kiss to the shell of your ear that has a violent shiver jerking down your vertebrae, you grind your ass harder into him, give him the sweetest little moan. “All I do is think about you.”
“I did, I did– I miss you so much. I wanted to talk to you, I did,” you whimper, “But– but we shouldn’t, Joel,” you say at the same time as your hand comes up and around to twist into the curls at the back of his head. He turns your head with his hand wrapped around your jaw, his entire palm cups around your neck to your cheek, thumb pressing harshly into the corner of your mouth to angle you exactly how he wants you, and then he’s tasting behind your teeth, the wet lick of his tongue into yours sends a bolt of lust straight through him, almost bringing him to his knees. He moans, deep and rumbling into your panting mouth, and your answering keen has the dribble of his precum sliding down his thigh. He needs to be closer, he needs to be inside. Fuck, he’s in danger of coming just from this, just from the sweet taste of you, your little moans, all for him. 
“Did you like that boy? Think he was nice, hmm?”
“Wha– No– no, Joel. I don’t even know him.” Brow scrunching into the most adorable little frown he’s ever seen. You blink your lashes at him, eyes glassy and slightly dazed. 
He snakes his other hand down the front of your dress and under the lace of your panties, cupping the entirety of your mound in his palm. Fuck, you’re soaked and he’s touching you, finally, finally, he’s touching you here. 
“Is all this wet for him or for me?” he says softly, dipping a single finger into your seam, a ghost of a touch over the bud of your clit. Fuck, you’re soft. Soft and swollen and soaking wet. He never wants to see you near another man again, it’s unreasonable, insane, he knows this. But the dilemma of having seen you, tasted you, felt you, but only by half measures, not really having you, well… it sets the stage for insanity. This he cannot help. 
“For you, for you– please, Joel. Just–”
“She’s drooling for me, baby.”
“Don’t be mean,” you cry.
“Will you let me make you feel good, sweet girl? Please, I just want to make you feel good.” He presses wet kisses over your cheek, down your neck to lick into the hollow of your collarbone. Your hips hitch in little grinds trying to gain more purchase against his palm, and he circles your clit slowly. You’re fucking dripping, and he moves down to press over your entrance, gives you the slightest hint of everything else he’d like to give you. 
“Oh, please–” He slides two of his fingers into the last knuckle then, to the hilt. You’re so wet, there’s no resistance at all. Your cunt swallows his fingers whole, and the both of you let out ragged moans in tandem. You’re fucking tight, and he needs to feel you around his cock, he has to. He’ll die if he doesn’t. He’ll die.
“We– we were supposed t– to talk,” you stutter, little cunt grinding down as hard as you can on his thrusting fingers. The wet squelch is deafening and obscene in the quiet of the guest house, and he can almost feel the steam of your lust and embarrassment at the sound rolling off of your skin like heat waves. 
“Yeah, yeah, baby. We’ll talk in a second.” He licks a long wet swipe along the edge of your jaw, bites down harshly, and he can feel the tight clench of your cunt at the small hurt. He pulls his fingers from you, and you let out a protesting mewl, but then he’s spinning you in his arms and kissing you. Something savage and uncontrolled rising up inside of him. He half carries, half drags you down the hall to the bedroom he knows is at the back of the house, pulls the neckline of your dress down to get at your tits, sucking and nipping as much of the soft flesh he can get at. All the previous moments of restraint, of not touching, of just watching, have turned him into this uncontrolled beast. He can feel your little feel dangling off the ground, over his boots. He almost stumbles as you lose one of your sandals, stepping over your shoe, and gripping the back of your thigh to hoist you up higher, grinding you against his length. 
He sets you down on the bed, pushing you back to lay across it as he tugs the soft cups of your bra down to get at your bare tits, sucking one peaked nipple into his mouth and pulling hard on the tip. So fucking beautiful. He swirls his tongue around your softness, kisses the underside of it, nips at the full, round side, switches to give the other one the same attention. You’re whining and crying out for him, almost sobbing. So sensitive, so sensitive – little fingers twisted in his hair to pull him closer, but he’s moving down, pulling away from your searching mouth and lifting the hem of your dress. He bends to bury his face in the soft apex of your thighs and breathes deep – satisfaction, hunger, rumbling through his chest. You smell so fucking good. He sticks his tongue out to lick at your slit over the lace of your soft, pink panties, sweet, little bow adorning the front of them. 
“Hush, lemme kiss your pussy for a little bit,” he soothes, “Don’t cry,” and you’re spreading your legs immediately at that. Good girl. 
He hooks his fingers under the soaking wet center plaque of your panties to pull it aside and drags the flat of his tongue right through your seam. Fuck, fuck. He shuts your legs to rip the fabric down your legs and then rips them open again to get at your cunt. Your back arches, curved tight like a bow string, and you spread your legs wider for him, tug on his hair to urge him closer. He settles between the space you’ve made for him – thinks that he just might like to live here for the rest of his life. He sucks your clit into his mouth and starts to press a single finger inside, giving you something to bear down on.
“God, Joel–” your gasps are wet, on the verge of overwhelmed tears, or already there, perhaps, “Feels so– so good.”
“Taste so fucking good–” He starts to fuck you with his finger, adding another, giving you more to stretch around. You’re so wet, leaking down to pool in his palm, and he focuses on your sensitive little nub, licking and sucking and kissing it, all while he watches the heave and tremble of your breasts, back arched so that you can rock into his ministrations. 
“Oh, I’m– I’m gonna come.” Yes, already, “I’m gonna–” He can feel the ripple and throb of your inner muscles working around his thrusting fingers, he hooks them against the deep, spongy spot at the front of your walls and sucks on your clit. Everything goes tight and liquid inside of you. The rapid flutter of your muscles trying to suck his fingers deeper, as you gush into his mouth, has all the blood rushing from his head to his dick so quickly he feels slightly faint. He licks you through it, gentling the thrust of his fingers but not stopping. Your restless legs shift around him, too much, and then he’s shifting back up to you, a bite to your nipple, a kiss pressed to the underside of your jaw, and he’s pulling you down the bed so your ass is right at the edge and tugging at his zipper, pulling his boxers down to free his aching cock and heavy balls. Fist clenched tight around himself, he jacks it once, twice and then presses the angry, red head to your clit, slides the underside of it through your cleft to feel the heat and wetness. Shit, your skin is scorching hot, soaked, and he can see the slight clench of your hole, begging to be filled. 
“Joel, please I– I want–”
“Fuck – will you let me– will you let me put it in? Just a little bit?” He’s thrusting against the slick red of you, palm pressed against the shaft to create friction on either side. On every pull back his head catches the smallest bit at your entrance, and fuck, fuck, it would be so easy, so good, “Just– just for a second, baby, please? Just the tip?”
“I – I don’t– I–” The head catches more fully, the wide tip of it giving you just the first slight stretch of it. “Oh, please–” Please, please, please. 
He feeds you the first inch – eyes glued to the way your little hole stretches obscenely around his fat girth, “Shit,” he snarls. He fucks you just like that, with just the tip and you try and arch even more, impossible, you’re already pulled tight as an arc, trying to take him deeper, and then your knee is hitching against his hip and pressing him in closer. He slides all the way inside, to the very end of you, in one smooth, devastating go. He feels his tip bump against the mouth of your womb, and your shared moan is pained and ragged. Your fluttering lids springing all the way open, eyes wide, almost shocked. The look shared between the two of you – incredulous, as if neither of you knew – had ever occurred to you – that something in this world could ever feel this good. 
He buries his face in your neck, shuts his eyes tight. Fuck, he’s gonna come, he’s gonna come. Your gasping moans, the lush press of your breasts to his chest, the fluttering of your cunt around him – nothing in all his life has ever felt like this. There’s a pain, deep in his chest, in a place he didn’t even know existed. This is like nothing else that has ever existed in this world. He’ll never be able to let you go after this, never, never. 
He wraps his hand around your throat, tries to settle you. “Don’t– don’t move, don’t make a sound–”
“I can’t– I can’t– You’re so deep.” Your legs kick restlessly around him.
“Baby, shut up, please,” he begs, he cannot come yet, he cannot. This is the first time in over three years he’s been inside of a woman, the first time he’s been inside of you. He cannot ruin it with a happy trigger finger. You’re clawing at his back, gasping and crying for him to move, to fuck you, please, please, please, fuck me. He slides a hand under your butt and lifts you slightly off the bed to bring you closer to him, grinds his cock deep, deep, right at your cervix so that you’re crying for real now. 
“Too much, too much,” you clutch tightly at his bicep, going back and forth between trying to push him away and pull him closer. He can feel the wet press of your tears sliding along his cheek, over his mouth, and he licks his lips to taste them, has his eyes rolling to the back of his head at their saltiness. He hitches you more firmly in his grasp and starts to fuck you. His thrusts, deep and devastating, punching all air, voice, thought out of you, heavy balls slapping wetly against your ass.
“You can take it, you can take it. You can take anything I give you. You’re my pretty, perfect girl,” he grits, pulls himself up so he can stare at the place where you’re taking him, puffy, red cunt stretched obscenely around his slick base. 
“You feel so good– I can’t, I can’t– What are we going to do? What are we going to do? It feels so good.” You’re crying, incoherent, fucked out look in your eyes as you claw at his shirt, little nails scraping over his belly and chest. He grips you under one knee to pull your leg up, hooking your ankle over his shoulder to deepen the angle. You come again, instantly, just at the change, the deepening of the angle, the head of his cock battering savagely against that deep, soft spot inside you.
“Fuck, yeah. Let me feel that cunt get wet, little girl.” Your mewls are high pitched, supplicant, and you gush around him. He feels it soak his pelvis, drip down his balls.
No one’s ever been this deep, nothing’s ever felt like this, you say, over and over again. 
He plants one knee on the bed and hunches over you, ankle still dangling limply over his shoulder and pounds into you. The feel of your cunt rippling around him, sucking him deeper is too much. He wishes he could last longer, feel you come around him again. What if you never let him do this again? What if you never want him again after this? What if it’s just a one time thing? He’ll never get over this, he’ll never be able to move on from this. He can’t hold back, he starts to fill you, hot thick spurts coating your insides, and you moan again at the searing heat of him, right at the mouth of your womb, grinds deep, deeper, as deep as he can, the contractions of your inner muscles pulling him in. He wishes he could crawl beneath your skin, live inside of you, make a home for himself behind the safe cage of your ribs, and he thinks that you’re right, nothing has ever felt like this, nothing will ever feel like this again. 
He’s ruined now. You’ve ruined him
He collapses on top of you, wants to crush you with his heavy weight, meld your chests together so that you’ll have to be with him forever after this. He presses wet, breathless kisses to the vulnerable underside of your jaw, behind your ear where your scent is the most concentrated, breathes you in deeply. You wrap your arms and legs around him, and he can feel the clench of your inner muscles around his softening cock. He hasn’t done this in a long time, he wonders what his refractory period is now, if he’ll be able to go again soon, if you’ll let him. 
“I wanted that so badly,” you whisper, nuzzle your nose into his hair. 
“Me too, sweetheart.” 
“I’m scared.”
“You have nothing to be scared of. I would never hurt you,” he promises because it’s the truth. He’d never do anything to purposely hurt you. 
“I’m scared of what I feel for you,” you say quietly, “I– I don’t–”
He slides his hand under you to press you closer. “I know, sweet girl. Me too.” He angles your head to give himself access to your mouth, starts his kiss out soft and gentle, slotting your full upper lip between both of his to pepper soft little pecks and sucks to it, then tilts his head to get a deeper angle and lick into you. 
You’re completely relaxed beneath him. Soft and warm and wet, entirely pliant. So sweet. It’s one of the things he loves most about you, how sweet you are. Sweet and kind and earnest – tenderhearted. You’re right, in a way, this is something to be afraid of. The things he feels for you – the depth of it, it’s not something he was expecting, not prepared for, but he’s certain there isn’t a way of stopping it now. This is what it is, will go where it was always going to go, from the first moment he saw you, touched you, tasted you. 
“What are we going to do?”
“I want to tell her.” It’s the only truth, the only road he wants to go down. He wants to be with you, he wants this out in the open. “You aren’t a secret to be kept or hidden. You deserve to be cherished out in the open.”
Your tears spill harder at that, “Joel–”
“Baby,” he lifts up slightly to look at you, “This is it.”
You turn to look away and he feels dread coil in his gut. If you pull away from him now he’ll lose his mind. He isn’t prepared for this, he isn’t the type of man who’s ever had to deal with this type of feeling. “I – I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I– I don’t want–”
“You don’t want what?” he brushes a loose strand of hair away from your face, runs the tip of his finger along the arch of your brow, down the slope of your nose. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you,” he says, because it’s the truth. In this moment, he thinks he’d do anything at all you’d ask of him. Open his very veins for you. You have him speared by the heart, eating out of the palm of your small hand. 
“I don’t want to be the reason your marriage ends,” your brow crumples, “I told you. I– I can’t be. I couldn’t live with that.”
“My marriage never really began to start with. I told you that.” He moves to pull out, both of you groaning softly at the sensitive slide of his cock slipping out of you, the slick gush that follows. He sits back on his heels, grips both of your knees to keep you spread and enjoy the sight of the viscous drip of his spend out of your messy hole. He wants to bend to eat his own come out of you. You’ve turned him into some sort of beast, subjugated to the scent and sound and feel of your body. But instead he turns to sit at the edge of the bed, tucks himself back into his jeans. He leans forward, elbows resting against his spread knees, and drags his palm over his face, rubs the scruff of his beard. He feels you turn to curve around him, your hand snaking up the back of his shirt to press your palm against his hot skin, your knees curling into his lap around his waist. “It was never – it was never– I don’t even know. Never a real marriage, I suppose. Or never something either of us wanted for the right reasons. I – I felt like it was the right thing to do, at the time, for Sarah. I told you this. But– but it was never how it should’ve been. I worry now, sometimes, if we haven’t just done more damage to her, built a foundation that’s so rotten, so broken, that she’ll be able to feel it for the rest of her life.”
“Joel,” you whisper, dragging your fingers softly up and down his back. 
“She was born into a broken home – how can I ever– how can I ever make that up to her?” He turns back to look at you then, “A home where her parents never loved each other – barely even tolerated each other. What is that gonna do to her? What will that teach her about love and relationships?” He grips you around the bend of your knee, anchors himself with the feel of your soft skin beneath his rough palm. 
“I think that, from– from experience, that it will be enough for her to know that she has you, that you love her, that you’ll always be there for her. You’re a good father, Joel. A– a wonderful father. She’s so, so lucky to have you.” And the look in your eyes as you say this to him is so earnest, so sincere and kind that he knows, in that very instant, that he’s falling in love with you, that he is already in love with you. He folds over to press his face into your belly, hug you tight to himself. “Your love for her will teach her what love is supposed to be. Honest, forgiving, patient. She doesn’t need any other example than that. That’s enough for a little girl, trust me.” You drag your nails gently along his scalp. 
He presses a kiss to your belly, another to your still bared breast. He rests his cheek on your chest to look up at you. “Thank you. Thank you for that.” What he really wants to say is, thank you for existing, thank you for finding me, thank you for being magic, thank you for letting me touch you. Please, let me keep even one small piece of you, I’ll take such good care of it for the rest of my life, I promise.
“But you– you can’t tell your wife about this, can’t– can’t leave her for me. That isn’t– that isn’t ever what I wanted, or– or set out to do. I told you why, I explained this to you.” He watches a bright flush flood your cheeks, brow folding into a frown as you stutter out the words. “I don’t want you to do that.”
“What’s left of this marriage is going to end either way. It’s only a matter of time.”
“But not for me. Not because of me, or for you to run straight to me. I can’t– I couldn’t live knowing I’d done that.”
“You haven’t done anything. This was done a long time ago, the foundation was damaged from the start.”
“N– no, still. I can’t.” You shift away from him, sit up to right your clothes. There is a part of you that hums the sounds of uncertainty, he can hear it in your voice, but it is so quiet in the face of everything else. The echo of your screeching guilt and fear so loud, it overwhelms everything else. 
“So, then what? This was just a one time thing? You want nothing more from this? From me?” He spits, hurt. He knows he should be gentle, not get angry, but the thought of you taking yourself away from him now makes panic climb like fire up his chest and throat. 
“I don’t know,” you say quietly, face still turned away from him. “I– I can’t tell you that right now. But I do know that I don’t want you to tell your wife, or to leave her for me.”
“So you think I should stay with her? Even though we’re both miserable. Even though all I want is to be with you. That’s what you want me to do?”
You let out a hoarse, anguished little sound at that, but then: “That’s not for me to say.” Your voice sounds broken, jagged, lacerating. “That isn’t my business,” you say so quietly, almost like you’re afraid to utter the words out loud, know what a lie they are. But he hears it. Loud and clear, like a slap to the face. 
“Not your business?”
“I should get back.” You stand to right your dress, he watches your shaking knees knock together, and he reaches out to catch you if you need him, but you steady yourself on your own. When you finally turn back to look at him, there are tears streaming down your face. In some sick, twisted way, the sight of them is a comfort. They tell him that this isn’t what you really want, that your words hurt you too. In a way, they help him understand you better, as well. You’re trying to do what you think is the right thing, as wrong as it is for all of you involved. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, wringing your hands together. He only nods. You go to clean yourself up in the restroom, shutting the door quietly behind you.
-
When you step back out into the bedroom, he’s already gone, but there’s a glass of water left waiting for you on the bedside table. 
Chapter .6
Netherfeildren's Masterlist
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acewritesfics · 1 month
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Meeting the Family | Tommy Shelby 
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Request: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: 535
Tommy Shelby Masterlist | Main Masterlist
“How am I more anxious than you are? It's my own parents,” Y/N asks looking at Tommy as she finishes getting ready for dinner with her parents. Anxiety burned through her body while Tommy stood there without a care in the world. “Are you not worried at all?” 
Tommy removes the cigarette he’s smoking from his lips and blows out the smoke before answering her. “Meeting your parents isn't on my list of things to be worried about, love.”  
"Are you expecting to charm them with your nonchalant demeanor?" she asks him. 
"I charmed you, didn't I?" he asks, a small teasing smirk makes it's way on to his lips. 
"You know you're not as charming as you think," she says going along with his teasing. "You're lucky my parents are easier to charm than I was." 
"Then what are you worried about?" he questions moving to stand behind her and putting the necklace he bought her a few weeks ago around her neck and clasping it together. 
"As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm afraid that they'll love you more than me," she sighs voicing her silly concerns. 
"Not possible, my love," he tells her kissing the top of her head. "Just like me, they could never love anyone more than you." 
"How is it that you two met," Y/N's mother asks the younger couple before taking a bite of her food. 
"She didn't tell you?" Tommy asks looking between Y/N and her mother.  
"She was vague about it and never went into detail," she tells him. It was true.  
Y/N talks about Tommy a lot but only the details she wants her parents to know. They live outside of Birmingham so they haven't heard of the Peaky Blinders and all the trouble that followed them, especially Tommy. If they found out, she knew they wouldn't approve of him.  
"What did she tell you?" Tommy asks Y/N's mother. 
"That you two met when she was walking home from work." 
"That's how we did meet," he tells her. "It was dark when I noticed her walking alone, something told me that I should walk her home. It's not safe to walk home in the dark alone," He continues with his charming tone.  
Y/N could see her mother was easily falling under his spell though her father is a little apprehensive. "So what is it that you do, Mr. Shelby?" 
"I own a family run company with my brothers," He tells him the legal side of things that he does. "We run a betting den, own a few business around Small Heath and have an import/export business." 
"You must be a busy man," Y/N's father seems astonished and intrigued by his answer. 
"Hopefully not too busy for our sweet girl," her mother butts in. 
"I'm never too busy for her," he gives them a reassuring smile and looks across from him to Y/N.  
"That's good to hear," her mother smiles and stands up and starts clearing the table. "I've made a cake, will you two be staying for some?"  
"Of course, Mrs L/N," Tommy assures her. 
"Oh please, call me Joan," she tells him as Y/N stands up to help her. "After all you'll be family soon." 
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got-ticket-to-ride · 7 months
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hi sorry but do you have any soft mclennon moments to share too :') the post you made about 22 seconds of longing hurt oh my god
Sorry for the delay in reply anon. I'm actually just a corporate collar acting my way as a temporary secretary every hard day's night, jobbing like a dog, 8 days a week in an English garden to afford a tan in the rain.
Hope this finds you well! Here are 22 McLennon moments as compensation for Johnny's 22 agonizing seconds in the pining video.
1.) "I'm Happy Just to Dance with You" scene when they both looked at each other at the same time. And the director had to pan out the scene because it would've been too straight. I know dilated pupils when I see it.
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2.) Inviting your favorite boy to a solo trip to Spain but you stayed in Paris because it was so romantic, sharing a bed, picking out clothes for each other, slurping all the banana shakes, you know normal roommate things according to historians.
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3.) Getting a solo invitation from a hot photographer and bringing along your best boy because you are attached to the hip and can't be separated.
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4.) Their need to constantly touch each other
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5.) Scene in Help (1965), where John is using all his strength to carry George and Ringo's weight and not crush Paul (because boyfriend things)
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6.) Holding hands for mental support during a recording. (John is needy, please forgive him)
7.) Walking Martha like a couple in 1967 - outfits coordinated and all
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8.) Impressions by people who met them:
"[John and Paul] sort of had their own way of communicating. Hardly anything was spoken, they just knew what the other wanted or was getting at and they had the most amazing talent."
"He was like a different animal with Lennon. When they were together they became something else, more than just the two of them together. That communication was incredible. It was like two high-speed computers just fizzing between each other."
9.) John is hiding his cigarette behind him, because he doesn't want to bother Paul with the smoke. (You know, boyfriend things).
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10.) A portrait, king and princess up front. John's thigh just casually resting on Paul's (yet again).
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11.) The spider fingers during a press conference, because they are actually both 12
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12.) That very flirty jam session in Austria in 1965 that was cut short, but they probably continued after anyway
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13.) The way they talk about the day they met sounds like "how I met the love of my life" Happy Honeymoon <3
14.) Quote from Emerick
The lights in the studio were turned off to set the mood; the sole source of illumination was a table lamp next to the wall. The two beatles, lifelong friends and collaborators, sat on high stools, facing each other, studying each other’s lips intently for phrasing.
15.) When they answer each other's songs
Paul in Can't Buy Me Love: "If it makes you feel alright?"
John: "I Feel Fine"
17.) “I could even hear what they were saying off-mike; ‘Oh Paul, you’re so cute tonight’ was met with the reply, ‘Sod off, Lennon.’” — Joan Baez on accompanying the Beatles to their concert in Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Denver. 26 August 1964
18.) Paul looking at John like he wants to eat him later after finishing with "I'm a Loser"
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19.) Giving instructions on how John's hair needs to "look"
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20.) Paul acting as John's walking stick
21.) Paul's heart eyes during this 1966 conference (also that lip bite... eat you later?):
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22.) John the worried boyfriend who checks on Paul in the middle of an interview and doesn't believe him when he just says : "oh, yeah..."
John internally: "come on now, why aren't you laughing at my joke babe? You're unwell!!!"
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The Bottles over and out.
Thank you for this ask. This was quite fun! Would love to hear your thoughts too <3
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i would physically break my bones if you wrote a little thing about simon waking up with joanie in the night 🥹
Thunder
I take your Simon waking up with Joanie, and raise you Mama Freyja waking up with her :D (p.s. Simon holds his babies like this, and you can't tell me otherwise) << Previous | Next >>
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Freyja flinched at the sharp cry as the monitor on her nightstand crackled to life following a loud boom of thunder. She stayed still momentarily, waiting to see if Joan would lull herself back to sleep as she patted Arthur’s back.
After a brief break, assumingly where Joanie allowed herself to take a breath, the wailing presumed.
Simon’s hand trailed up her thigh, his thumb dragging across her hip. He was awake, as always during nighttime feedings, but had been laying down while she fed and burped their son. “Do you want me to get her?” he asked, leaning into her shoulder and nuzzling her neck now that he had pushed himself up.
She smiled softly at the gentle kisses against her throat, pressing into them. “No, I’ll handle it. Take Artie?”
“I’ll finish with ‘im downstairs.” Simon shifted Art from her lap, laying the baby, stomach down, across his forearm with his head up toward his elbow. His feet landed on either side of his big hand, engulfing one of his chunky little thighs. “Alright, pup, time for a little father-son bonding,” he whispered, and his footsteps disappeared out of the room and down to the kitchen.
Freyja followed shortly after, her slippers scuffing as she barely picked up her tired feet. Joanie’s nursery was right next to theirs, making the walk short. When the door creaked open at her presence, the toddler’s sobbing softened but continued as she reached over the wall of her crib, little fingers making grabby hands in Frey’s direction.
“Mumma!”
“Hi baby,” she whispered, smiling softly as she approached the bed. “What happened? Did the thunder wake you up?”
She carefully drew her fingers through the baby’s delicate curls, taking care to detangle any knots she found. Frey had noticed that her once tight ringlets were losing their body, and starting to melt into loose waves. She had a sneaking suspicion that their daughter’s hair would eventually forgo all of its texture and end up pin-straight. At least then, it would be more manageable.
Joan jerked her head away with a whine, pouty lip jutting out as she bounced with her knees. The frustrated display and the look on her chubby little face would’ve been funny if Freyja weren’t so tired. She pointed outside of her bed, “Gaz frug.”
Gazzy was Joan’s beloved stuffed frog, clad with a baseball cap with a Union Jack patch on the front. One could take a wild guess at who Gazzy the frog came from. And there he was, just next to Freyja’s feet. She bent down with a soft hum, plucking her lovie off the floor. “You kicked Gazzy out! What happened?” she asked, bopping the toddler with it. 
Even with her friend returned, Joanie pouted again and held her arms up, making grabby fingers with her free hand. “Up, Mumma,” she whimpered, her big brown eyes pleading.
Not very eager to deny a request at three o’clock in the morning, Freyja grabbed her soft felt blanket (courtesy of Mrs. MacTavish) from the bottom of her crib and draped it around her daughter. Joan automatically wrapped her arms around her mum’s neck as she lifted the baby to her chest, one arm under her and the other hand guiding her head to her shoulder.
Her hair still smelt like her baby shampoo from her bedtime bath. Frey inhaled the scent, placing gentle kisses against her baby’s temple at the same time. Neither she nor Simon had a tendency to get annoyed with their babies waking up throughout the night. Freyja was thrilled every instance she was able to comfort her children. She always told herself that every time Joan or Artie cried for them was a reminder of how loved and needed they were.
And if that meant getting up at three o’clock in the morning just to hold her daughter, then so be it.
“I love you, baby.”
“I lub you, Mumma.”
Copyright © 2023 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.
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“(Don’t) Hurry Down The Chimney Tonight” - Dean x Reader
Rating Explicit
Dean x Reader
Tags: Christmas (Holiday) Smut, Red Ribbons, Candy Canes, Peppermint Sensations, Sleigh Bells, Sexy Santa References, Dean is Tied Up, Edging, Oral Sex, 69, Vaginal Sex, Reader is a Naughty Little Vixen, Dean deserves a proper (sexy) Christmas.
Word Count: 2700
Summary: Dean saved Reader from the supernatural on Christmas Eve years ago. Every Christmas since, she has always found a way to show her unending appreciation.
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Notes: This smutty little fic is a holiday gift for @jessjad for the 2023 SPNFanFicPond Secret Santa Fic Exchange. I hope you enjoy the reader’s sexy times with Dean.
Big thanks to @sam-is-my-safeword and runawaydr3amer (AO3) for reading the first draft and helping with a great many awesome smut ideas. Additional thanks to runawaydr3amer, who also beta’d this fic and packaged it up nice and shiny. 
Merry holidays!
I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo, and this part will fill my "Edging" square.
Resources:
Collage created in Canva
Pic found on Google (Fanpop)
Song Reference: Santa Baby by Joan Javits and Philip Springer (listen/watch this version sung by Eartha Kitt)
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Dean sinks those pearly whites into the flesh of his bottom lip. His top lip pulls up and back into a painful sneer. The usual rosy, pillowy fullness of that mouth is instead taut, whitening under the capture. You laser focus onto the pointy canine denting into the mouth you have debated sitting on since you began this teasing challenge.
jingle
You finish fashioning a sweet little bow with the ribbon. It’s ruby red and velvety soft.
“Well, I think that’s about the prettiest package I ever did wrap.”
jingle
“What do you think, Mr. Claus?” you ask, your voice as innocent and demure as you can manage.
Dean opens his mouth and expels a slow gasp. jingle “Fuck, sweetheart. You aren’t playin’ fair.”
“That’s the whole point.”
You rise from the edge of the bed and take in the entire scene. It’s magnificent. 
He’s magnificent.
Dean is lying atop the forest green comforter of your bed. Naked. Well, not totally naked. A red ribbon - adorned with one single sleigh bell - binds his wrists together and anchors him to the headboard. His arms, jutting out and bent to create a diamond-shaped frame around his face, give you a prime ticket to the gun show. Biceps flex and tendons raise under the skin as he tries to remain as motionless as possible.
jingle
You aren’t a complete heathen. He’s got a fluffy pillow, the same deep green color as the comforter, to rest his head atop. Dean is anything but sleepy. He’s wound up. He stares back at you, the green of his irises electric and flaming with intensity.
You anticipate how sublime it will feel to strum the cords of his neck. Tickle your fingertips down that chest. You imagine Dean ring-a-ding-dinging and cursing himself if you take the time to trace the outline of his tattoo. Circle those perky nipples. Dip into his belly button and follow his treasure trail of baby-fine hair.
You marvel again at the other ribbon that you tied. You’d purchased a couple yards of red velvet at the craft store weeks ago with this in mind. With him in mind. You were ecstatic it had been enough to criss-cross around the crease below that fine ass. It wraps over a slight vee along his waist. The makeshift holiday jockstrap has Dean’s beautiful, now fully erect, cock sporting a bow.
Dean sighs. “Are you done decking my balls?” jingle
You giggle and fiddle with the belt of your robe. It’s red as well, but made of silk. “As we discussed, the end result of all of this is all up to you. Santa.” You flip a switch to turn off the ceiling light. The sconces stay on above the headboard. Two halos figure eight over Dean’s beautiful body, awash in a warm amber glow.
He’s a full print ad of holiday cheer and sinful debauchery.
“You’re being very naughty, (jingle) Mrs. Claus.” Dean licks his top lip—your core clenches at the deep timbre of his scolding. 
You’ve been wet since you both finished Christmas dinner. Since you told him you had one more gift for him waiting upstairs. Since you left him in the bedroom with orders to strip while you changed in the bathroom. Since you pulled out the ribbons. Since you explained that if he was good and could keep his jingling down to a minimum through what you had planned, you’d fuck him into the New Year.
You inhale and shrug, then begrudgingly turn your back to the sight. It takes a few taps on your phone for you to get to the song. You stifle another giggle at the little jingles Dean can’t help as he waits. 
Once you tap the play button, the festive and recognizable melody begins. A barbershop quartet bah-bums a bit before the sultry and smooth vocals of Eartha Kitt take the lead.
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You look back over your shoulder at Dean and whisper along with Eartha.
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You peel the silky robe off one shoulder then the other. Dean groans when the layer slips down to the floor. jingle
“Shit.” He moans and you grin in satisfaction at the hoped for reaction.
You turn back to face him, adding a dramatic hair flip. You're wearing a sexy little Mrs. Claus outfit. It’s a red velvet dress with a scandalously high skirt and a low-cut halter. White fur lines both the top and bottom. It’s all cinched nice and tight around your waist with a black belt and a gold buckle.
You bend at the knees and lean forward, shoulders folding in and hands resting on your thighs. It gives Dean the perfect vantage to ogle your cleavage. You purr along with the next line and modify the lyrics a smidge.
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“Man, I must have been a really good boy this year.” Dean stares in awe, not even caring how much he’s jingling with his squirms atop the bed.
You let it slide for the time being, thrilled at the kid in a candy store grin plastered on his face and the way the bow sways with every twitch of his cock.  
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Dean tilts his head to the side. His gaze begins at your red-glitter heels and canvases every inch of skin from ankles to thighs. He pauses, stopping to stare at the hint of flesh under the skirt hem. jin-jingle jingle jin-jingle He pants out, “Mrs. Claus forgot her panties, huh?”
You lift a finger and wiggle it back and forth in the air. “Uh-uh-uh. Remember, really good boys stay still if they want their present.”
The bell jangles no matter how carefully he attempts to reposition himself. “Son of a bitch,” he mumbles and you laugh. “Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll be good,” he whispers soft and sweet.
The heels tap across the hardwood as you walk over to settle beside Dean. You adjust your skirt to let the scant amount of fabric fan over your naughty bits. Being so close to him makes you forget the lyrics to sing along with Eartha.
You rest a hand on his chest. Through clenched teeth, Dean inhales at the touch, the rest of him frozen in place. The bell is silent. Your other hand grabs one of the candy canes you had left on the bedside table. For reasons.
Watching him fight every urge he has to reach out and touch you is fascinating. And the power you have over him gives you a head rush. You continue the tease, twirling the candy between your fingers, then laving the cane’s hook with your mouth and tongue. Dean garners some pity from you as he whines, brows downturned, eyes attentive to your every swirl and suck. You swing the cane close to his mouth. “Wanna taste?”
He swallows. “Wanna taste you,” he states, the hint of hope escaping around the edges of a soft moan.
The thrill of his need quickens your pulse. No other man has loved and adored you as thoroughly and exuberantly as Dean Winchester. You nod. “You will. But, first,” you rub the wet-slick candy cane over his bottom lip, “show me what that mouth wants to do.”
“You know what this mouth can do,” he reminds with a little sass, letting the candy cane tap against his bottom teeth. 
But soon enough, he indulges you. He slips the hook between his lips. His tongue slides out under the curve of peppermint, lapping at the sticky sweet. Again and again. Your breath hitches into your open mouth as you watch, enthralled at the ministrations of that thick and powerful muscle. He sucks the confection in a little farther, pursing his lips. The sounds he’s making, enjoying the treat, are downright pornographic and send any extraneous bell ringing to the back of your hearing queue. The red food coloring coats them like lip gloss by the time you break from the spell of his show. You guess it’s been minutes since Eartha finished her rendition of ‘Santa, Baby.’ The rest of the playlist you created has soft and dreamy instrumentals.
“My turn,” you cajole. You tug on the cane. He relinquishes, but not without some resistance. A little pop escapes his mouth once the hook is freed. You marvel at the progress he made. The hook end is substantially shorter and thinner than when he began.
He sniffs and tilts his chin up in pride. jingle “Your turn with that, or my turn with you?”
The cane slips back into your mouth, your fingers sticky from all the handling. You stand, kick off your heels, and climb back onto the bed on your knees. You grin as you suck on the candy.
His eyes soften. “Be careful, baby. Don’t want you to choke. Well, at least not on that.” He smirks.
He’s right. Safety first. You toss the candy onto the bedside table.
“You are so (jingle) fucking hot in that (jingle) outfit.” He grins and waggles eyebrows in anticipation. “Gonna let me down your chimney, Mrs. Claus?” jingle jingle jingle
The actions in the next few seconds are a blur. You wonder if Dean has some sort of Jedi mind control ability. Because even though you are supposed to be the one making decisions this evening, his seductively god-awful puns find you sitting on his face, reverse cowgirl. 
“You might get the golden ticket to all my secret places if you’re lucky.” Your fingers tip-toe down his chest like a grinch about to steal someone else’s presents. 
jingle jingle jingle
“Fuckin’ hell,” Dean murmurs under your skirt. Hot breath bathes your inner thighs and other areas you hope will soon be explored.
Your hands rest in the little divots created by his pelvic bones while you take his body in and plan your method of attack. You pull on the ribbon and release his cock of the bow. Then, you’re deep throating him like he’s your last meal.
Not one to be outdone at an all-you-can-eat buffet, Dean’s entire face gets in on the feast as well. Nerves respond to the tingling sensation of the residual peppermint on Dean’s lips and tongue. You shiver at the gloriously heightened sensitivity when he pulls back to blow on your pussy. “This is so much better than milk and cookies.” He moans and groans and jingles all the way. 
As much as you’re loving the taste of his precome, the velvet texture against your tongue, and the way the tip triggers a tiny gag reflex at the base of your throat, it’s time to remind him of the consequences of all that noise he’s making. You release the hard length from your mouth and try to concentrate on your own breathing during the absolute virtuoso way he’s eating you out. As much as you’d love his fingers to get in on the action, you know you’d have no control over the situation. You sigh in relief that he’s trying to adhere to some parts of the game. The pitiful, half-hearted ribbon shackling of his hands to the headboard is no match for Dean Winchester.
You steady yourself on wobbly knees and one shaky elbow. A firm grip around the base of his cock makes Dean gasp. He stills after that. In your mind’s eye, you picture the beauty of that mouth and how his luscious pink lips were slick with peppermint. You imagine how slick they are with you now. “Sorry, baby,” he murmurs and you feel him settle back onto the pillow. “I’ll be as quiet as I can. Can you blame me, though? Here I am, under your sweet little skirt, in the dark (jingle)... shit, sorry. But, you can’t drop a five-course meal in front of a starving (jingle) man and not expect him to wanna little taste.”
You squeeze his cock. “That’s part of the challenge.”
“I’m always up for a challenge. You always make me feel so good.”
You groan at the praise he bestows. Without releasing your hold, you shimmy off his chest. Channeling the prim and delicate sensibilities of Mrs. Claus, you crawl along the comforter and settle between nutcracker bow legs. With knees tucked under you and sat atop bare feet you accept him in your mouth again and get to work. 
You take in the sight of Dean inventorying your every action. He’s gripping the top of the headboard with both hands to steady his upper body. You clock that the little stinker has also managed to palm the sleigh ball in an effort to silence or, at the very least, muffle it. You consider that move cheating. But he feels so sublime that you can’t bear to part with him to voice your irritation. He’s also whispering the sweetest filth to you while he watches.
“Damn. Yeah. Those lips of yours feel so good around my cock. You take it so good, baby. Wish I could fuck that pretty little mouth of yours, but I’d definitely jingle-jangle way too much.” A tongue swipe over his top lip accentuates the glossy look of his ruby-tinted mouth in the warm light. “You really are too good to me. You give the best Christmas presents.” He stiffens further with each downstroke. “Aw, yeah. Suck it.” Your rhythm increases. “So pretty. Wanna touch you so bad.” He gasps. “Fuck, I’m gettin’ close.” jingle jingle   
You clamp around the base again and squeeze, freeze mid-swallow - your lips around the tip - as soon as he rings.
Dean squirms and grumbles.
You continue to bring him to the edge of orgasm, then halt. Your jaw is aching along with the rest of your body as time passes.
You’ve fucked Dean up in the best way possible. He’s blissed out, wound up tighter than a spring. You’ve got him begging. But his words grow into admonishments with each successive denial. “You can’t keep doing this, baby. There’s gonna be consequences. Santa’s gonna for real put you on his naughty list. Nothing but coal in your stocking,” he huffs.
You give your mouth a reprieve and stroke him. “Is that all that happens to naughty girls?”
He gnaws at his bottom lip before offering, “You really wanna find out?”
You nod.
The ribbon binding Dean to the headboard shreds with one mighty tug. He pitches the sleigh bell in the air. It jingles as it pinballs around the room. 
You gasp as he cinches those hands under your armpits and drags you up his body. He crushes his lips into yours, tastes you with his tongue. The mixture of your arousal and a hint of peppermint melts you in his arms. Then, a sudden and swift rollover pins you beneath him.
He hovers, tosses your skirt up to your chest, and wedges between your legs. His hard, heavy cock slips into your folds and glides through your wetness. “I could drag this out. Or.” It’s his turn to tease. He notches snug against your entrance. You’re surprised your muscles haven’t pulled him into you of their own accord the way your entire body spasms with need. He whispers in your ear, “Let me be your Santa, baby.”
You gasp, “And hurry down the chimney tonight.”
He groans in victory and slides in, balls deep. He thrusts. One massive hand gathers your wrists together on the pillow above your head to anchor you in place. Fingers of his other hand grip the top of the headboard. Every sway in and out of you gets more frenetic. You’re screaming his name and he’s cursing yours. 
“Good girls do what they’re told,” he states, out of breath, face reddening. His gaze locks with yours. He slows down. Releases your hands. Finds your clit amid the white fur and red velvet. Strums. Angles and hits your sweet spot deep within you with a harsh abandon. “Come.”
Minutes later, after you’ve both orgasmed, you’re curled into his chest. “That was…” you manage between heavy exhales.
“Yeah, that was awesome.” He kisses your forehead. “Every year, since I saved you from that ghost on Christmas Eve, you find a way to outdo yourself with the holiday cheer.”
“Well, you deserve it. I’m glad you can get away for a little while and get a special treat.”
He sighs. “You know, you don’t have to feel obligated to…”
You rest a finger atop his lips. “How I see it. Guy saves your life one time, you owe him the rest of yours.”
He smiles and pulls you in. “How about we just focus on tonight, yeah?”
You nod. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
139 notes · View notes
humanpurposes · 1 year
Text
My Heart Belongs to Daddy, part iv, modern!Aemond
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Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist // For fear that you'll find out, how I'm imagining you
modern!Aemond x step-daughter
Warnings: 18+, smut, cursed dinner party, toxic family dynamics, Targaryen men being the worst
Words: 5700
A/n: Also available to read on AO3. And I made a Series Playlist :)
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Over the last two months, finishing her thesis, taking exams, sending off masters applications and keeping track of a boyfriend has left little room in her mind for Aemond Targaryen.
For the last month or so she’s hardly even seen him. On the weekdays she gets up early and spends all day in the library. On the weekends she goes to Cregan’s place in central. He goes to the gym with Jace on Saturday morning and on Sundays he usually has a rugby match. Between that they watch movies in his room, go for drinks with his friends and sometimes she drags him around her favourite museums. 
The sex is good. For a bulky guy with a nose piercing and sleeve tattoos of wolves and weirwood trees, Cregan is surprisingly gentle. He makes her cum on his tongue, then he leans over to fuck her with his hands pressed into the mattress, looking between her eyes and the space where their bodies meet. He doesn’t say much, a few strained “oh Gods” and a grunted “fuck” when he comes. When they’re done he falls into the bed beside her, throwing an arm around her while he rambles about whatever happens to be on his mind, exams, internships, summer plans…
She’s happy to rest her head against him, listening to the humming of his chest as he speaks, letting it lull her as she slips into her own mind. Sometimes she still feels a little empty when it’s over and doesn’t have the energy to go for another round. She puts it down to stress. Or hormones. Or something. 
Now, being on the other side of everything she realises time is passing too quickly for her liking. 
Joan Jett blasts through the car speakers while Alys and Cregan go on about the season finale of some drama series she’s not kept up with.
Alys loves Cregan. Everyone loves Cregan because he’s a people person. He speaks to everyone he meets like they’re already lifelong friends and he has a remarkable talent for finding common interests. If she were cynical she would say he’s palatable.
The weather has been perfect so far, bright and sunny but with enough of a breeze that the heat isn’t unbearable. Ideal for the graduation ceremony.
She looks through the recent photos in her phone. She took a few nice ones of the Sept, the nave lined with columns and towering statues of the Seven watching over the cohort of students in red and black robes. She keeps swiping through photos of her and some of her classmates on the front steps tossing their hats in the air, a few of her and Joanna, one of her and Cregan, and one of her and Alys. 
Sometimes she thinks she looks nothing like her mother, but when they smile they look strikingly similar.
Everything had paid off in the end, the study dates with Joanna, the all-nighters, the last minute breakdowns crying over the kitchen counter with Alys. But she’s proud that she did it all on her own. Especially given how helpful Aemond had been last year. Just thinking about it makes her heart sink.
He’d been living with them for a few months by then. They were comfortable with each other, existing in the same spaces, eating dinner and watching movies together when Alys was out or working late. 
Sometimes he’d put his arm around the back of the sofa, letting her lean into him while they watched 90s thrillers, leaning into her every so often to make a joke or a profound observation. They could analyse movies forever, staying up late until their eyes were tired, leaning in closer and closer and never really realising it.
And then when exams came around, the stress just got to her. “It’s half the suffering,” Alys insisted, “you’re not doing yourself any favours, so don’t do it.” Easier said than done. 
There was one particular module on Conflicts in the Modern Era that was chipping away at her sanity. It was her last exam of the year and every time she went over her notes she just felt hopeless.
Aemond offered to help her study. He had loads of notes and old assignments on his laptop from his undergrad and his masters. They spent hours in the dining room, going over readings and practice questions.
He would sit next to her, leaning over every so often to read through what she was working on. Every hand on her shoulder, every reassuring “hmm,” or utterance of “good girl,” when she got something right sent shivers down her spine.
She knew it was wrong, but she didn’t exactly want it to stop.
The exam ended up going a lot better than she anticipated. She opened the paper and instantly saw that, by some miracle, there were a few questions similar to the ones she had done with Aemond.
She came home ecstatic. Alys was at work but Aemond was home, loitering in the kitchen. She practically leapt into his arms when she saw him, telling him every detail she could think of with a huge smile on her face.
Aemond’s hands settled on her waist. He leaned into her until all she could see were his bright, blue eyes. “I’m so proud of you baby,” he said in a voice that made her breathless.
He leaned in further until his lips were on hers, soft and warm, kissing her tentatively. She thought it might be over quickly, until she reached up, teasing her fingertips over the nape of his neck while his grip on her waist tightened, pulling her closer, kissing her deeper.
When they pulled away, both a little breathless, he rested his forehead against her and smiled. She smiled back.
But she snaps out of that trance when she realises they’re pulling into the driveway.
She looks across at Alys for a moment, laughing at something Cregan just said.
Her chest feels like it might crush under the weight of it all, but time presses on and things seem to be moving forward for the better. She’s happy with Cregan. Who wouldn’t be? He’s funny, smart, maybe a little over confident at times but she can forgive that. And she’s got the whole summer before she starts her masters. With Cregan in the picture she figured she might as well stay at KLU. He’s been trying to convince her to move in the flat with him. There’s no reason not to, it’s close to campus, his flatmates are nice and they seem to keep the place clean. She keeps saying she’ll think about it.
He reaches for her hand as Alys leads them through the front door.
The house looks immaculate and it fills her with dread. 
Alys has decided to use her graduation as an opportunity to host a family dinner. Maybe she’s intending it to be a grand offering of peace, maybe she just wants to show off, or maybe she’s just lost her mind because putting two halves of a warring family in the same room seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Not to mention she’ll have to introduce everyone to Cregan. 
The dreamy rhythm of a Mazzy Star song drifts from the kitchen. Aemond is leaning over the counter, in a black shirt with his sleeves rolled up, prepping a rack of lamb. She tries not to look at his hands as he takes pinches of salt, pepper and spices between his fingers.
Alys heads straight for the vodka, offering a round of martinis before the dreaded guests arrive.
She and Cregan both decline politely, and when Alys turns to Aemond he purses his lips. “I don’t drink vodka martinis.”
Alys rolls her eyes. “Thinks he’s so sophisticated,” she says to Cregan. 
Cregan chuckles and plants a light kiss to her cheek, muttering about taking a shower and disappears down the hall.
Her eyes meet Aemond’s for a moment. He smiles sincerely. He’s playing one of her favourite songs.
She tells her mother she’s going to get dressed, and feels Aemond’s eyes following her as she heads upstairs.
When she gets to her room she puts her graduation robes on a hanger and lies on the bed in the black slip dress she wore underneath. Something’s pressing awkwardly into her back, Cregan’s jeans and t-shirt. She tosses them across the room and falls back against the mattress, staring at the ceiling and listening to the hum of the shower.
Is it unfair to hate someone for listening to a song? Did he remember it was her favourite or was it a lucky guess? Maybe he was trying to tease her, or else it could have just been a coincidence, but that doesn’t seem like him. Aemond rarely does anything accidentally.
Cregan saunters in with a towel around his hips. He looks down at his clothes on the floor in front of the door. “Not where I left them,” he mutters.
She pretends not to hear him.
He gets dressed quickly, all he has to do is put on his jeans and clean white shirt. 
“How many people are coming tonight?” He asks, spraying some perfume on his pulse points.
She keeps her eyes on the ceiling. “Viserys, Alicent, Rhaenyra, Daemon, Jace, Baela, Aegon and Helaena.” Luke and Rhaena were going to stay home with Joffrey, and Daeron would still be in Sunspear until the end of the month. Just as well, there would already be too many people to keep track of.
“I hear some of the family stuff from Jace,” Cregan says, “sounds like a mess.”
She hums to herself. “Oh, you have no idea.”
She takes her hair out of its low bun and fixes it into a more casual look, leaving it mostly loose but out of her face. Her makeup has managed to survive the day pretty well. She touches up her blush and wipes away her lipstick, applying a sweet tasting cherry lipbalm instead.
When they reappear in the kitchen Alys is nowhere to be found but Aegon and Helaena have already arrived. 
Aegon and Cregan pair up nicely, swigging bottles of beer while Aemond pours out three gin and tonics.
She compliments Helaena’s patterned skirt and red boots. In return she admires her dress. “You two are matching,” she says, as Aemond hands them both their drinks.
He raises his eyebrows and the corners of his mouth are tight. “Happy coincidence.”
“Black’s not exactly a fashion statement,” she adds, taking a sip. 
Aemond hums in agreement.
She takes a breath to relieve the tension in her shoulders. “How are you doing?” She asks Helaena, “didn’t get much of a chance to talk to you at the wedding.”
Helaena’s doing a PhD in Etymology at Highgarden, between that and her various art projects she seems happy, but something’s off. She’s never exactly been outgoing but she seems particularly timid, wide eyes darting constantly to Aemond and Aegon. She’s nervous, but in all fairness they all are. Or they should be.
While Helaena goes on about species of butterflies, she finds her attention almost completely on Aemond, his hand gripping his glass in the corner of her eye, the sound of his breath, those well timed hums and the smell of his aftershave. She takes another sip of her drink to steady her nerves, hoping neither of them notice her hand trembling as she brings the glass to her lips. 
Eventually Alys waltzes in with Rhaenyra, Daemon, Baela and Jace following behind her. That seems like a good opportunity to escape. She goes to hug Jace and Baela, and follows them when they go to stand with Aegon and Cregan. 
The tension is palpable, Alys having a stiff conversation with Rhaenyra, Daemon lurking at the edge of the room with a glass of whisky, and Jace stealing glances over her shoulder, at Aemond and Helaena.
She catches whispers of their conversation but nothing tangible. 
“What’s your problem?” Baela hisses to Jace. 
He tuts. “He’s staring daggers at me, fuck’s sake.”
Aegon’s lips thin. He excuses himself curtly and joins his siblings by the glass doors to the garden. 
Their little group falls to an uneasy silence. 
“Well done, dickhead,” Baela says, rolling her eyes.
Cregan gives her a confused look. She puts her hand on his shoulder and comes onto her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “I’ll show you the powerpoint presentation later.”
Somehow the mood only gets colder when Viserys and Alicent walk through the door. It’s almost pitiful, watching Rhaenyra and Daemon trying to win his attention while Alicent keeps her hand on her husband’s shoulder, muttering into his ear whenever she can.
Not speaking to Aemond has meant she’s mostly been out of the loop, but she can guess they’ve not moved past the dispute over Viserys’ will.
Helaena and Aegon both go to greet their parents. It’s cordial at best, light hugs and pecks on the cheek, and Viserys shakes Aegon’s hand like this is the first time they’ve met. Aemond doesn’t go near them.
The lack of warmth is only more noticeable when Viserys greets Jace and Baela with open arms and a pleasant smile. He hugs her too, congratulating her— after all that is why they’re here— and shakes Cregan’s hand firmly.
She catches Aegon’s eye over his father’s shoulder. He frowns, almost comically and goes to find another bottle of beer.
Before long Alys ushers them all into the dining room.
Alys and Viserys sit at the two heads of the table and the others fill in around them. When they see Alicent has taken the seat to Viserys’ right, Rhaenyra and Daemon move to the other end of the table. Helaena sits next to her dad and they both smile vaguely. Aemond, rather diplomatically, takes a central seat between Aegon and Rhaenyra. 
In an attempt to avoid sitting across from either of his uncles, Jace settles next to Alys, and once Cregan sits next to him, the only free seat is directly opposite Aemond. She sits down without a fuss.
Once everyone is a bit more settled, Aemond and Alys go back to the kitchen to bring in small plates of salad and seared tuna.
It starts off with smalltalk. Cregan and Jace are muttering to each other on her left, while Baela and Helaena have a friendly catch up to her right, leaving her to prod at her starter, waiting for an appetite to appear.
She doesn’t dare to look up past the space in front of her plate, or the pair of eyes she can feel burning into her.
Once they’re finished, the plates are whisked away and Aemond presents them with lamb chops, fondant potatoes and summer greens, while Alys pours out glasses of red wine. 
Viserys’ knife scratches against his plate as he carves into the meat. “Really excellent lamb, Alys.”
“Aemond did the food,” she says.
He pauses, looks down at his plate and carries on eating.
She hears Jace whispering something into Cregan’s ear and they both grunt in amusement.
“Something funny?” Aegon asks sharply, reaching for his glass.
She finally looks across the table. Aegon’s face is a dangerous mix of anger and anticipation.
“Just admiring Aemond’s culinary skills,” Jace muses, spearing a cut of lamb on his fork, “didn’t realise he’d gone domestic.”
“Jacaerys,” Rhaenyra hisses.
Aegon huffs but keeps his mouth shut with a stern look from Aemond.
Viserys’ attention suddenly latches onto his grandson. The rest of the table falls quiet while he asks Jace about his exam results. 65 average. Just a few marks off a first.
Aegon nudges his brother but Aemond doesn’t react. 
Their father seems to notice. “Jacaerys is shadowing me for the summer,” he says pointedly. 
Aegon finishes off his glass and immediately refills it.
“Not coming to Dragonstone, then?” Helaena pipes up in a brighter tone, leaning to look at Jace.
The ancestral home of the Targaryen family, a beautiful estate along the coast outside the city. It’s more of a castle than a house really, passed down the generations over centuries. They use it as a holiday home now.
She went with the Strongs one summer. Ten weeks of beach trips, reading by the pool and fresh seafood for dinner every evening. It was the first time she really remembers meeting the Targaryen siblings. Aemond seemed so quiet then, always with his nose in a book. It feels like a lifetime ago now. 
Cregan’s voice in her ear takes her by surprise. “You alright?” He asks, stroking his hand along the silky black fabric on her thigh. “You looked a bit lost there for a moment.”
She can see Aemond looking at her in the corner of her eye. “I’m fine,” she says, pushing Cregan’s hand away.
“We’re just a little busy at the moment,” Rhaenyra says, “work is… hectic.”
Alicent visibly bristles. 
“Might make it down for a few weeks, if the boss lets me off,” Jace says.
“I’m excited to have you,” Viserys says, “good to get him used to the order of things nice and early.”
“Yeah, amazing what you can do when you have everything handed to you on a silver fucking platter,” Aegon says, casually taking a long draw from his glass.
Alicent and Rhaenyra look horrified. Daemon and Viserys are both clenching their fists. 
“He says as if Otto Hightower didn’t have to buy him a place at KLU,” Jace retorts.
Aegon shrugs. “So what if he did? Got the degree, didn’t I?”
“And what have you done with it?” Viserys says in a scathing voice, “bought a flat with my money. Drank and screwed your way through life with no concern for your career or your family.”
Aegon tuts. “The fuck does that mean, family?”
“Leave it,” Aemond mutters and the table settles into an uncomfortable quiet.
“At least Jace has some direction,” Viserys says, breaking the silence. For a moment his eyes dart to his wife.
Alicent’s brown eyes are wide and glassy. “And my children don’t?”
She watches Aemond’s lips flicker into a sneer before he composes himself and goes back to staring vacantly at his untouched glass.
“That’s not what I meant, love–”
Daemon chuckles quietly. “And yet…”
Alicent slams her knife against the table with a jarring clatter. “Maybe they would have amounted to something more if you had shown even the slightest bit of interest in your own children!”
A chair scrapes against the floor and Helaena’s silver hair billows behind her as she leaves the dining room.
Baela grabs her wrist and pulls her to stand. “Excuse us,” she says sweetly. Not that anyone will hear her over the shouting match brewing between Alicent and Daemon.
They find Helaena in the lounge, on the sofa, picking at her nails.
“Hey,” Baela whispers, coming to hold her hands so she stops.
Helaena looks up at them with glistening blue eyes and a trembling lip. It’s the first time she’s really seen the resemblance between her and Alicent.
Raised voices echo from down the hall. By the sounds of things Aegon and Viserys have joined in too.
Helaena releases her hands from Baela’s and presses her palms to her forehead. “I’m sorry,” she says, taking a few shallow gasps. “I just don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
Baela hums in agreement.
Tears start to trickle from her eyes. “I used to love hanging out with you and Jace and everyone. I don’t understand… what did we do wrong?”
She isn’t sure what to do. She feels so helpless just watching Helaena as she starts to cry. Baela sits next to her and puts her arm around her shoulders.
And while the arguing persists, Helaena eventually starts to calm down a little, wiping her tears on her sleeve and leaning into Baela. “We missed dessert,” she sighs.
“We have ice-cream in the freezer,” she says, “strawberry or vanilla?”
And just like that her face lights up. “Both.”
“Noted. Baela?”
Baela smiles sympathetically. “Strawberry please.”
She catches fragments of the insults being thrown around the dining room as she walks past. “Hightower leech”, “spoiled cunt”.
She sees a figure in a black shirt through the frosted glass door to the kitchen. She holds her breath as she opens the door.
Aemond is leaning over the counter, fiddling with a packet of cigarettes. He looks up as soon as he hears the door. She lets it close behind her and leans against it.
He stares at her with a tight jaw, a sad little pout on his lips and a slight scrunch in his nose. Despite everything she can’t help but feel sorry for him. 
She tuts to herself and goes to place two bowls and two spoons on the counter, avoiding Aemond’s gaze.
Not my problem.
She goes towards the freezer and hears Aemond sigh heavily behind her. She hovers her hand over the handle.
Not my problem. Not my problem. Not my problem.
“Is it stupid of me to ask if you’re alright?” She asks, turning to fave him.
One of his wide plams is pressed against the counter, his legs crossed casually at the ankle. “No.” 
“And are you alright?”
His nostrils flare as he takes a slow breath. “I told her this would be a bad idea,” he says, tapping the box against the counter. “But what do I know, it’s only my fucking family.”
The way the light shines on his face makes the scar over his left eye seem like a shadow. She’s never asked about the details of what happened, but then he doesn’t like to talk about it. 
Two months ago she would have held his hand or pulled him into her arms when he was this anxious.
But things have changed now.
“Aemond, I–”
“Babe?”
She whips her head round to see Cregan and Jace standing in the doorway. Guilt twinges in her chest and she doesn’t know why. A conversation is nothing to be ashamed of, surely? She hadn’t even heard the door open. 
“Baela and Helaena are in the lounge, right?” Cregan asks.
“Yeah,” she says, “I’ll be there in a minute.”
They both glare at Aemond before they leave. When she turns to face him, he’s looking back with a cold indifference.
“He seems nice,” Aemond says once they're gone. “Palatable.”
She starts to drag her teeth over her bottom lip but stops herself. Aemond’s eyes are so intense, glaring from across the room with a dangerous look of fury and sadness. That’s exactly how he looked at her, the night of the wedding, when they were in her hotel room. When he asked her about Cregan then she liked how it made him jealous. 
Her blood starts to simmer, a feeling that cuts deeper and hurts more than hate. “Is this it then?” She says.
His brows scrunch into a frown, but his wide eyes seem more bewildered than anything. “What do you mean?”
It’s like a switch clicks in her brain and something in her heart dies. These last few weeks, even with things going so well with Cregan, she’s carried Aemond with her, hoping that one day she’d wake up and things would have worked out differently. It’s what she’s been doing for the last year anyway, she just never managed to break the habit.
It has to end somewhere, the lying, the guilt, and the naivety that she meant something more to him than a pretty face and a convenient fuck. 
She needs to let go and she’s known that for a long time.
“Forget it. You’ve made your side of things clear,” she says, her voice starting to tremble. “This was never going to end well and I should have thought about that before I led myself on.”
She takes a step towards the door but he’s in front of her, keeping her between the freezer and the counter.
“Do you love him?” Aemond mutters, quickly and quietly.
She can feel her heart beating in her throat.
“Do I… what?”
He takes advantage of her hesitation. His hand clamps around her wrist as he moves to the door. It takes a few moments to realise he’s dragging her with him.
The door to the lounge is shut. She hears Cregan’s booming laugh on the other side as Aemond leads her further along the hallway.
And suddenly they’re in the downstairs bathroom. She stands in front of the sink, staring at her own reflection as the lock clicks.
She watches Aemond in the mirror. The room is small and narrow, even when he’s standing by the door he’s close. Then he starts to close the distance between them with slow, taunting steps until he’s standing over her.
She can feel him and smell his aftershave, the bitterness of gin and the sweetness of red wine.
There’s that dark look in his eye again, determined, and hungry.
“Did you really think I’d let you keep up this pathetic little act?” He murmurs, eyes fixed on hers through the glass.
“What act?” 
She lets out a little gasp when he places a hand on her hip and pushes his hips against her, grinding a growing hardness against her so subtly he might not be moving at all.
He leans into her but no part of him makes contact with her skin. She shudders at the heat of his breath running over her ear, neck and shoulders. “I said you were needy, didn’t I?”
Her shoulders flinch when a single fingertip touches the nape of her neck. He draws it gradually along her spine as she desperately resists the urge to cry out at the tingling sensation it brings, arching against him because her body has nowhere else to go.
“And so sensitive,” he says and stops just as he reaches her lower back. “It was all for me, wasn’t it? The crop tops, the staring, even Stark, you just wanted a reaction.”
She’s always been a good liar but when she opens her mouth to reply she finds she just can’t do it. She doesn’t want to, not when he places his hand on her side and traces over the curves of her waist, her hips, the pouch of her stomach and her thighs. It’s been so long since they’ve been this close, and it’s not close enough.
“You stopped wanting me,” she breathes.
“Stupid little slut,” he says, leaning his chin over her shoulder. He starts dragging both hands down her thighs, taking the hem of her dress with him as he moves back up. “How could I ever stop wanting you?” His voice is harsh and hypnotic all at once. Cold and unforgiving. It sets her skin alight and leaves her wanting more.
But it doesn’t make sense. He was the one who left the hotel room. 
“I don’t understand… this isn’t fair.”
“But you and I both know you don’t like to play fair,” he rasps, tracing circles over the tops of her thighs, occasionally brushing over the hem of her panties.“I just know these last couple of months have been fucking unbearable without you.”
She bites down on her lip to stop herself whimpering at his touch.
He groans as his head falls against her neck, hands still pawing at her legs and the dress hitched around her waist. “Let me fuck you,” he utters in that low voice that means it’s taking every ounce of effort to hold himself back. “I know what you need. Just be a good girl and let me fuck you.”
Anticipation floods her body. She can feel her self-control slipping. She can’t think straight, can’t think past him or a world beyond this moment.
She wants it too much to feel guilty, for now at least.
“Please,” she utters.
“Please what?”
“Fuck me.”
Suddenly his soft touches are gone and he yanks her panties down to her knees. One hand slides between her legs, prying them open enough so he can circle her clit with the pads of his fingers. The other snakes up her body and takes a gentle hold of her throat.
He finally brings his lips to her cheek. They graze over her skin as he mutters, “you said something to me, that night. What was it?”
She scoffs. “You’re such a cunt.” She can hear how weak her voice is as she says it.
“Mouth on you, baby,” he coos, “come on, I know you remember.”
She shakes her head fervently, hoping she can focus on the movements of his fingers, the pleasure building and building inside her. 
“I want to hear you say it, baby.”
She lets herself melt against him, clinging desperately on his arms, breathless but defiant as she meets his eyes in the mirror.
With a short huff he withdraws his hand, but keeps her against him by her neck. He easily undoes the buckle on his belt, bringing his trousers down just enough to free his cock.
She bucks her hips on instinct as he slides the tip through her folds, gathering her wetness, and smiling when he realises responsive she is to him.
“Have you always been this restless? Or have you just missed me?”
Her head hangs slightly as he teases between her entrance and her clit. She can feel how thick his cock is, how hard he is and she already knows it’s going to make her feel so fucking good.
The grip on her neck becomes firmer, demanding her attention back to the mirror. He holds her gaze as he slides into her tight, slick cunt.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he says, “look at how well you take that.”
He’s right. The sight of her pleading face and parted lips as he holds her and pushes deeper inside of her only adds to her arousal. 
He fucks her slowly, precisely, placing a hand on her stomach and pressing into her while the impact of his thrusts are muffled by fabric. 
“Can you feel that?” He whispers, “can you feel how tight you are? Can you feel how deep that is?”
“Ah— fuck, yes…” she chokes, savouring the burn and the stretch of his cock as he drags through her walls and hits her sweet spot. When his fingers come back to circle her clit it all becomes so light and perfect and deliciously overwhelming.
“I knew you still wanted me,” he pants between the gentle kisses to her cheek. “Say it.”
“No,” she manages to whimper.
“Say it.”
Her orgasm comes as a sudden burst of warmth and Aemond isn’t far behind, suppressing a grunt as his hips still and his cock throbs inside her.
A few moments pass and he turns her head towards him, keeping his eyes on her lips. He leans in to kiss her and she twists her head to the other side.
“Fucking brat.” 
Suddenly he brings her to face him fully, effortlessly lifting her by her thighs to rest her against the edge of the sink. 
There’s no teasing this time, no pretence, just need. He pushes himself into her in one cruel snap of his hips.
He’s too impatient to give her time to adjust before he starts to fuck her, fiercely and without mercy, hands digging into the flesh of her rear, pulling her in over and over again. He brings his forehead against hers, glaring into her eyes like he hates her.
But like this she can wrap her arms around his neck, hold him even closer and lose herself in just him.
“All you need to remember is you’re mine. You’re fucking mine and you know it.”
Tears well in her eyes and she can only take what he gives her. “Fuck… Aemond...”
Her climax builds until it’s almost excruciating, and then it tears through her, a release unlike anything she’s known for months. She keeps her arms tight around him, burying her face into his neck as her thighs shake and her whole body tenses and trembles.
Aemond doesn’t stop, fucking her through it until she’s writhing with the overstimulation.
“Too much,” she whines, “fuck it’s too much!”
He clasps a hand over her mouth to muffle her protest, dangerously echoing on the tiled walls and floors. He comes again, gnawing at his lip to keep himself quiet and spilling deep inside her as tears stream from her cheeks.
He admires the mess they’ve made as he pulls out, her cream on his cock and his cum leaking from her quivering cunt. His eyes flicker back to her face, his expression softening and his lips curling into a half smile.
Dazed and still desperate she leans into him, but her lips barely get to  graze his before he pulls away.
“Oh now you want to kiss me?”
She frowns, which only seems to amuse him.
By the way he grabs her jaw she doesn’t need to be told what to do. She offers him her tongue and swallows when he spits into her mouth.
A satisfied groan rumbles in his chest and her belly flutters in anticipation, as if he hasn’t just made her come twice, as if she can’t feel his spend starting to drip down her thighs.
He slips her off the sink and kneels down to pull her panties up her legs. Then he fixes her skirt, smoothing down the fabric with his palms.
“You’re going to be civil,” he murmurs, one of his hands coming to fix her hair. “You’re going to go back out there, kiss your boyfriend on the cheek, but I want you to think about me. Think about how good I make you feel. Do you understand?”
She nods.
“Words, baby,” he says as his hand comes to cup her jaw, stroking his thumb over her flushed cheek.
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, daddy.”
“That’s my good girl,” he says softly, leaning in to plant an almost chaste kiss to her lips.
She tries for more but he steps away, eyes roaming over her to make sure she’s presentable.
With a vague “hmm,” he carefully unlocks the door and slowly steps out. He shoots her a quick wink before he closes the door, his footsteps fading down the hallway back towards the kitchen.
Her legs almost give out underneath her and she clutches the sink to keep herself standing. 
That certainly wasn’t how she was expecting this evening to go.
She’s not sure how she’s supposed to show her face and go about pretending like nothing’s happened in front of their families. Maybe she’ll rediscover her ability to lie, kiss Cregan on the cheek and play the part of the sweet girlfriend, but what kind of person will that make her?
She looks at her reflection, at the glimmer of blissful tears and sweat on her face. 
A familiar laugh drifts down the hall.
How is she ever going to look her mother in the eye again?
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General Taglist: @randomdragonfires @jamespotterismydaddy
Series Taglist: @marthawrites @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aaaaaamond @boundlessfantasy @sahvlran @tinykryptonitewerewolf @arcielee @tssf-imagines @aemondsfavouritebastard @skikikikiikhhjuuh @queenofshinigamis @lost-and-founds @izzydlb @dc-marvel-girl96 @xcinnamonmalfoyx @padfooteyes @castellomargot @pet1t3
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wardenparker · 5 months
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At First Sight
Alan McMichael x female Reader
Rating: G for General Audiences, but this blog is always 18+! Word Count: 3.1k Warnings: Alcohol, flirting, period manners, fluff, scheming family members, undesirable dance partners. Summary: Alan's sister Eunice is finally engaged and their mother is throwing a grand ball to celebrate. It is the last place that he wants to be...until he meets a young lady who wants to be there just as little as he does. Notes: It's been so, so very long since I wrote anything solo. Please be kind -- all errors are my own, and this is definitely not beta read. It's just a little piece inspired by my downtime at work and countless rewatches of Crimson Peak. Alan deserves some happiness, so I wanted to give him a bit. If there's interest I'll try to write more for these two, but I'll understand entirely if there's not. Thank you so so very much for reading! Dedicated to @julesonrecord for her tireless patience in putting up with me babbling about this character and how he deserved better. And to @ruflirtingwithme for always letting me keep Wade in my pocket wherever I go. There's a bit of him in this as well, for sure.
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Despite the tailoring of his tuxedo, the familiar weight of the costume, and the well-traveled ballroom he finds himself standing in, Alan McMichael shifts uncomfortably. He’s lost weight this past year, worry and injury taking their toll, and the tailor assured him that it could barely be seen but took his jacket and the waist of his trousers in anyway. He isn’t as fit as he once was. He isn’t as strong. Not since he followed Edith up that mountain in England, only to bring her back down again to dual hospitalizations and true exhaustion. The doctors at the sanatorium don’t allow him to visit anymore .They say it causes episodes of hysteria. 
So now they must live inside their own heads separately, and his mother has taken that as meaning it is time to push him to move on. “It’s for the best.” His mother had said. But Alan couldn’t be sure. Still, he was forced to resume his everyday life, and now it has been a full year since that fateful trip to Crimson Peak. 
Eunice’s engagement has been a blessing to distract Mrs. McMichael. Her ploy to whisk her daughter off to New York City in the early summer had paid odd and now Eunice is engaged to the son of some banker who claimed to have an ancestor lead the charge at the Battle of Cowpens. They were all, Mrs. McMicheals told everyone in earshot, quite proud.
Now it was Alan’s turn to once again have marriage prospects pushed on him, and he stood in the ballroom ready to receive guests alongside his father with a false smile and a belly full of dread.
* * * * * *
“I thought you didn’t like Mrs. McMichaels?” The question hands in the air as you finish getting ready for the ball this evening. Spending the Christmas holiday in Buffalo with your aunt and uncle had been your brother’s idea – trying to see that you were taken care of without directly saying that having you in his house would be a burden. So you had reluctantly agreed, giving most of your staff the better part of three weeks off and taking only your maid with you to Buffalo. 
It’s not that I dislike her entirely, dear heart,” your aunt Joan insists. “I adore her soirees.”
“How foolish of me.” It takes all your strength not to roll your eyes but your maid recognizes the expression and smiles privately. “I ought to have known. You and Uncle Christian will want to stay until daybreak, won’t you?”
“Certainly.” Aunt Joan quips, appraising herself in her vanity mirror. “Her cook makes the most divine fruit crepes.”
You could point out that her usual overt piety discourages desire and gluttony, but at near seventy years of age, your great-aunt has earned a little indulgence from life. Instead you hum a non-committal agreement and pick up your gloves., “Then it will be well worth staying until breakfast,” you encourage, offering her a smile instead. 
“Indeed.” She seems most pleased at the prospect and shoes your maids away with finality. “Your dance card must be full tonight, child,” she warns with an alarming hint of mischief in her voice. “If we want you engaged before the worst of winter snows threaten to keep us all at home.”
* * * * * *
The McMichael’s ballroom shimmers with candlelight and each guest who is announced at the door is another jewel in the crown of the evening. Mrs. McMichaels flits about like a bird with a rare and precious seed, showing it off to everyone around her, and the guests who have eagerly arrived first bask in the shared glow of witnessing such good fortune. Fortunately, very certainly it is a fortunate thing, your Aunt Joan and Uncle Christian do not believe in arriving early to parties. They believe in leaving their home at the time the party is listed as beginning in order to appear both desirably busy and aloof, which means that your trio is squarely in the second half of arrivals to the McMichael house this evening. Even if it is only by a measure of twenty or thirty minutes, the less time you must spend with eligible men being foisted upon you, the better. 
“Mr. and Mrs. Christian Tate,” are announced along with your name, and Aunt Joan practically shoves your out in front of them to make sure you’re seen. Not that anyone would have noticed you otherwise, so perhaps it’s wise. The peacock colored gown you chose shimmers softly in the gaslight, but the ballrooms of Buffalo do not have the large, expansive windows and glass doors that you are accustomed to in Newport. It is all mahogany and walnut paneling here, and all the ladies but you – in their pinks and creams and honey yellows – knew better. You will be lost in wainscotted corners in your deep blue, green, and purple hues. Though perhaps it is for the best. This is not your society anyway. You have no intention of ending your time in Buffalo engaged no matter what Aunt Joan might intend.
The two gentlemen at the center of the ballroom could not be anymore obviously father and son, but where the father jokes and jovially signs dance cards at praise of his skills in the country dances, the son seems dour and aloof. His pinched smile does not precisely forbid conversation but it certainly does not encourage it, and he all but sighs in resignation when your Uncle Christian seems happy to see him.
“My wife’s great-niece,” you hear him saying, just before you are shuttled forward again. “Visiting from Newport for the holidays.”
“A pleasure,” the man intones, though you cannot think he means it.
“Is it?” You offer your hand only because your aunt clears her throat so pointedly. But it is at this point that the skyscraper with blonde hair you are being introduced to chuckles. The sound is broken but warm, and you are not so displeased with being here that you miss the way his blue eyes sparkle like aquamarine in the flickering light. 
“Perhaps,” he muses, catching the dance card dangling from your wrist before you can take your hand back. “Perhaps you are the first young lady to arrive tonight not to simper and curtsy over the supposed honor of being my mother’s guest. And perhaps I can recognize a fellow soul was was strong-armed into attending.” He looks tired, the heaviness of it hanging deep in his handsome features. Because yes, he is handsome. Intriguingly and admirably so. But that isn’t what is drawing you in to him like a rope tied into your ribcage that tugs you forward whenever he speaks. It’s something else. “Perhaps we will be allies tonight, you and I.”
“Allies?” You watch his hand as he claims both waltzes on your dance card, the first gentleman to do so and claiming what are arguably the most intimate of dances. “How terribly Napoleonic of you,” you droll in response.
He laughs again, a little more deeply, and shrugs his shoulders. “I would avoid the elder Mr. Davies if I were you,” he advises, clearly demonstrating his intent as that very ally he has claimed to be. “His wife passed last spring leaving him with three young children. He has become so desperate for a wife that he is inclined to propose to almost any new young lady he meets.”
“How very concerning for the young ladies.” You murmur back, glancing over at the man being subtly pointed out to you. He is squirrelish and balding, all the hair on his head seeming to have fallen to the bushy mustache adorning his upper lip. “Is there anyone else I ought to be wary of?”
“Oh, a dozen at least.” The mischief returns to this man-shaped mountain’s eyes and he offers you his arm. “It is well worth discussing. Perhaps over punch?”
“Mr. McMichael, I think you are using me as an excuse to abandon the receiving line.” You hum in amusement, not really able to say you blame him for such a thing. Or that you mind.
“Perhaps.” His grin has a shade of mischief and guilt to it. “But perhaps you are using me to avoid the attention of other guests who might bore, annoy, or otherwise rankle you, or even step on your shoes. Which I’m sure are quite beautiful and not to be defiled. This arrangement seems better for us both, don’t you think? I can promise you with surety that it has been more than a decade since I trod on a lady’s slipper at a ball.”
“I had intended to feign lightheadedness from the crowded ballroom halfway through the night,” you confess with a sly expression all your own. “Perhaps I still will. Or perhaps this mischief will prove diversion enough all on its own.”
* * * * * *
There have been many dances in your life that have made you terribly glad for the barrier of gloves between you and the man leading. Whether it was their manners that were unsuitable, the sweat of their palms, or some unsavory odor lingering around them like a drought-stricken pond, there seemed always to be some partners with whom dancing was as undesirable as an overturned stagecoach. 
Tonight you fear it might be you. 
Dr. McMichael — Alan, he has insisted that you call him Alan — is a divine dancer. The grandeur of his stature does nothing to inhibit his grace and as he twirls you both about the ballroom you have the oddest sensation of floating that has ever been. But as if grace and poise were not enough, the man has a damning and wicked sense of humour as well. It has taken only the smallest encouragement from you to earn you scathing reviews of the other partygoers from you. The descriptions have you nearly in hysterics in his arms, but worse yet is the way that he smiles. It is a sly and puckish expression that makes his eyes light and sparkle in the candlelight, and every time he aims it at you, you can feel yourself sweat in the most unbecoming and unladylike way. 
Moist palms or a damp dress back do not make for a desirable partner, and all you can do is hope desperately that your gloves and corset are providing ample barrier so that he has no idea how deeply those smiles and jokes and bright eyes are affecting you. 
“I must sound deeply cynical,” he comments after a pause. He has just told you the story of the two Misses Shrewsbury and their positively ghastly attempt at conning the attendants of a seance he attended in Albany some years ago. “I am not. Or at least I do not mean to be.”
“Is it society that you disapprove of? Or faith?” Neither question is a judgment on your part, but you tilt your head to him conspiratorially as you dance. “I have found myself weary of both in the past, that is why I ask.”
“It is neither,” Alan admits, though he does so with a wistful sigh. “I think perhaps I yearn for times past when I reveled in dancing and philosophical pursuits. When the contents of conversation at a dinner party provided fascination for days afterward.” Subtly, so that you can feel it but it is not seen to the plain-eyes observer, he shrugs. “Life soldiers on, I suppose.”
“It does.” You cannot dispute that, and you would not try. You know the trudging on of time as well as any other touched by tragedy. “May I ask what changed? Or is that impertinent?”
“It is not impertinent.” He casts his eye around the room then back down at you. “But I am afraid it is not polite, either. I would not shock you so, to tell it all. I will only say that I lost my dear friend very recently.”
“Then I am very sorry to hear it, but I have every belief in your humanity. Your taste for society, your faith, and your fascinations will return.” The look on his face says he wonders how you can be so sure, and you half-smile. The hint of sadness in your eyes keeps it from becoming full. “Take the word of an orphan of two beloved parents, Dr. McMichael. You will come back to life again after the loss of your friend. It may simply take time.”
“Alan,” he presses softly, reminding you of his insistence. “And I am sorry to hear of your sadness, as well. But it seems that perhaps God or the ghosts of our past have seen fit to introduce us tonight. Whichever it is that you believe in.”
“Whichever it is, I welcome their intervention.” It seems to you at this point that he does not care much for spiritualism or ghosts of any kind, so you will not speak your mind on that topic. As for God? His guidance has not been the one you sought in many years. No, tonight you will not give credence to any of it, if only to keep the mood light and perhaps make Alan laugh again. “I think, however, that I shall ascribe it entirely to my great-uncle. As he was the one to see us introduced.”
“So he was.” As the song ends, Alan bows quite deeply in deference to his admirable partner. “I believe I shall have to thank him for it.”
* * * * * *
“Why don’t I know the girl your son has been doting on all night?” Mrs. McMichael is behind her fan to her husband from the edge of the dance floor, inspecting the dancing and overseeing the needs of all her guests. Her guests. Which is why she is so perturbed not to be able to identify this young woman immediately. “Who is her family? She must be with one of your business associates, yes?”
“Let Alan flirt.” Edwin McMichael waves one hand dismissively, not even looking in his only son’s direction. “It’s good for him. He’s been too dour for too long.”
“I don’t care if he flirts.” Ellen ruffles, her lips pursed and ready for an argument. “So long as he flirts with the correct young ladies.”
“How do you know she is not correct?”
“Because I do not know who she is or who she came with.”
“She is Christian Tate’s great-niece.”
Ellen’s nose wrinkles. “The orphan?”
“The orphan with an eight million dollar inheritance and a palatial cottage in Newport in her name.” Mr. McMichael raises one eyebrow as he peers down at his wife, knowing precisely the sort of affect this news will have on his wife. After all, she married him for his fortune — why should Alan not marry a fortune as well? “Let Alan flirt. It makes him smile.”
* * *
He finds you again later, outside of the ballroom when you’ve wandered away to breath air that hasn’t come from the mouths of five other people first and doesn’t smell distinctly of stale cigars and brandy. He finds you when you are slumped, unladylike, in the window seat of his father’s library gazing out the window at the snow as it drifts lazily down from the pitch-black sky. 
“I thought you’d run away on me.” His voice is light but the undercurrent of worry, or else embedded sadness, is there if you listen. Like a weariness that had taken hold in him sometime since the loss of his friend that he had not been able to shake. Rather than apologizing for it or paying it any mind, Alan simply holds out one of the delicate cups of mulled wine that he brought with him when he went in search of you. “I’m very glad to see that isn’t the case.”
“I had to make myself scarce from the quadrille,” you admit, having the good sense to look at least a little sheepish about it. “That Mr. Davies…the one you warned me about? He caught sight of the fact that I had been left out of the dance before and attached himself to me.” Though the conversation could not be considered so terrible to be characterized as harrowing or torturous or anything as dramatic as all that, you still had not enjoyed his overbearing presence and unfortunate lack of manners. “I’m afraid that I feigned a headache to excuse myself.”
He laughs. Truly and thoroughly, and from his belly. Alan McMichael laughs so entirely that you bury your face in one hand after you accept the offered drink from his hand and you sigh audibly. “I’m sorry…” he chuckles, gasping for a dramatic sigh when he can catch his breath. “ It’s just that you’re so terribly apologetic and sweet about it. No one would be cross with you for avoiding an impertinent man old enough to be your father.”
“I see you have not met my Aunt Joan.” With a dutiful but resigned sigh, you stand from your place of respite and sip the rather delicious drink that he has brought you. At precisely 4:02 in the morning it is both horrifyingly too late for such a drink and far too terribly early – a dichotomy that delights you. “She has done her best to see me partnered with every single man here tonight. It is only my ill luck that I encountered the only desirable partner so early in the night. To dance together a third time would expose us both to comment.”
“So?” Alan sips his own wine and gazes down at you curiously, wondering whether or not you actually give a damn about all of this convention and these rules that seem to have been mutually agreed upon by the same people who determined what food is served at each course at formal suppers. That is – someone very long ago and far away that no one can remember any longer. “I’d like to dance with you again. And you just said that you’d like to dance with me. So who gives a damn if someone talks about it?”
“Won’t your mother be cross with you?” He had said something earlier about his mother wanting him to dance with just every young lady at the ball tonight. And you know for certain that he has not just as you have not danced with every single man. 
“My mother is routinely cross with me.” He admits, enjoying a laugh at the truth of it. “I try not to let it disappointment me too much.”
It is all you can do to consider him – broad shoulders stretching that jacket of his and bright eyes sparkling with mischief, the tilt of his smile and the invitation of his outstretched hand – before you are sighing in a rather dramatic show of resignation that barely shields the actual delight written on your face. “Very well,” you acquiesce, taking his hand and giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. “Let us be the object of idle gossip tomorrow. Let tongues wag. I will be gone in a week anyhow and that will be the end of it. For tonight, at least, we shall have a bit of fun.”
______
Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo
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lisbeth-kk · 8 days
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May Prompts (31) Pride
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The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 31)
Summary: We get glimpses of Joanna Shirley's first year and an emotional trip to the countryside ensures that the circuit is closed.
Thirty-One Years Old
Some months after Joanna’s first birthday, we’re going to Sussex to spend a week with my parents. She has Timothy’s dark hair and my curls. Her eyes are violet-blue and radiant, her social skills are impeccable. Our daughter loves people. When we’re out in the park, at the shops, on the tube or the bus, she babbles to anyone who’s willing to listen. Most people are. During the Pride parade, that became quite evident. 
Molly had bought her a multi-coloured dress. In each hand she had a flag. The traditional rainbow flag in her right, and the bisexual one in her left. Every so often, people in the parade approached her to say hello, and she preened and had the time of her life. Timothy filmed the whole charade to show to our families later.
When she’s used up her charm…let’s just say; her bad temper is as untamed as her good mood…
“Just like her mother,” Dad often points out when I complain.
There’s no sympathy to get from Papa either.
“A tornado is calm compared to your tantrums as a child and teenager, Bee.”
“Ha, bloody ha,” I retort, but I know it’s true.
Having a strong will and principles can be good things, I guess.
***
Joanna has never seen Papa’s garden and beehives. The last time we visited, it poured down all weekend, so we stayed inside.
She has yet to have taken her first steps, but there have been other firsts. 
First trip inside the city: New Scotland Yard with uncle Greg so he could show her off to all his previous colleagues (he retired two years ago.)
First solid food: corn porridge (she detested oatmeal.)
First tooth: four months (she bit me when I breast fed her.)
First real trip: Sussex to Grandad and Lock. (She refuses to call Papa anything else.)
First BIG toy: an antique rocking horse from the granduncles. (Guess which one searched worldwide for the correct one, a replica from his and Papa’s childhood.)
***
The second Joanna sees her grandparents, she starts to wriggle in my arms, can’t get to them fast enough.
“Easy, my little octopus,” I mutter and hand her to Dad with a relieved sigh.
“Hey there, princess Shirley,” Dad coos and kisses her cheek.
“Da!” she exclaims and pats his shoulder, before turning eagerly to Papa, stretching out her arms.
“Hello, little Joan,” Papa rumbles, which make her giggle and shout: “Lock!”
“You’ve got to stop calling her that,” Dad protests half-heartedly.
“Nonsense,” Papa says mock serious. “Not until you stop calling her princess Shirley.”
Joanna points at herself when she hears Dad’s name for her.
“Yes, that’s you,” Papa agrees proudly. “My clever girl.”
***
After lunch and Joanna’s nap, Dad and Papa walk around the garden with her, safely in Dad’s arms to show her the different flowers, letting her smell and touch. Her dazzling smile, and the besotted looks on my fathers’ faces are caught on camera. I decide to get it enlarged and framed as a Christmas present.
Papa points out the beehives, but they stay at a distance lest Joanna’s waving arms disturb the bees. I stifle a sob when she turns and points a finger at me when Papa says the word “bee”.
“Yes, darling. That’s Mummy too,” I say in a choked voice.
“Well done, princess,” Dad praises.
“Cess,” Joanna manages and presses her palm against her chest.
***
A week later, as a farewell, Papa takes Joanna for another stroll in the garden, which she seemingly can’t get enough of. She took her first steps there two days ago, eager to get her hands on a bee that was resting on a flower petal. When the insect flew away, she turned questioningly at Papa, who had followed in her steps ready to catch her if she lost her balance.
After they’ve finished the circuit, Joanna starts to wail, but Papa’s excited voice and gesticulating hand, gets her attention.
“Let me tell you what I once told your mother when she and Granddad moved to Baker Street,” he starts, and goes through the different stages of human decay, the art of flagging down a taxi in London, and pissing off the likes of Philip Anderson.
Before he’s finished, Joanna has fallen asleep in his arms.
Also available on AO3
You can find the fic that inspired this one here
Here we are. At the end of an amazing month of prompts which have produced ficlets, limericks, heartbreakingly beautiful writing, hilarious new AUs and so much more. Tears have been shed, laughter has been shared, the fandom has shown endless support and love to everyone involved.
Thank you to the wonderful @calaisreno for instigating this marvellous event, and to everyone who has participated, commented, reblogged and cheered along the way.
(P.S There'll be no Rosie at the age of 106 as you requested early in the month @totallysilvergirl because that would ensure the demise of our OTP, and we both know that I don't do that...)
@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @helloliriels
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lolosaclone · 4 months
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I just finished clone high season 3 and
I don't really know what to say at the moment, but to be honest, I loved watching it, I mean I've put my alarm at 6am and had to wait few more hours to finally have a chance to watch even the first ep, SO OF COURSE I HAD TO AT LEAST LIKE WATCHING IT,,, but at the end I did it so yay me, but yeah after waiting for what like felt forever (I was counting the days istg), I feel so happy,,, it's obv not the best thing on earth but it made my day and night
SPOILERS ‼️ BELOW THE CUT (screenshots n text)
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cracked at this moment at the sudden singing
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he's like me fr (pinky thing)
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i cried when I saw this
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LIKE
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,,,
i just found joan pretty on this angle, makes me wanna draw her
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jfk
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christopher columbus
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!random rant text (not following the episodes orders):
/I'll "probably" change this part of my post later, I'm just writing what I remember the most rn/
,,
almost forgot, the eyes thing. WOW,,,
Mary, Abe's gf, being Bloody Mary got me holy moly at the moment
I really didn't except joan and confucius to actually stay together, thought it would be for an ep only (thanks to the one who reposted my other post, if u see this hi :3) ,, and when I thought I was dreaming when the trailer dropped, turns out they're cute in my opinion, actually liked them 😭
frida and cleo breaking up got me devasted like 💔💔
Now the cliffhanger is KILLING me.
overall, Confucius became officially one of my fav with topher, lovely!
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I finished watching the last ep and writing this post at 4am, don't except this post to make any sense yet, but, trust me, i'm invested. (in my head that is)
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toni-peperoni · 2 months
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I am begging you to share more of your mechanic alex vision
Okay so: We know that Alex actually wanted to be a mechanic for Marc rather than a rider himself, but Marc pushed him to at least try.
And Alex subbed in in Moto3 for the first time in 2012 and then did the entire season of 2013 and for this we have to pretend it didn't go as well as it actually did, so he decided to stop, focus on school and pursue his dream of becoming a mechanic.
I'm not very familiar (at all) with the Spanish school system, but it would probably mean, he'd finish school in 2014 and after that find a university to study remotely at. Finishing the school in Spain had meant almost a year of barely seeing his brother and that just wasn't something either could or would choose (love my codependent babes), but it would also lead to Alex being a little less dependent, because he knows basic life can work without Marc there, though for Marc basic life was racing and Alex was still present at every European race if possible.
The public would of course know Alex as Marc's brother and very rarely bring up that he used to race too, but they would know them more in the way Carola is known as Pecco's sister rather than Luca is known as Vale's brother, if that makes sense?
He'd start his apprenticeship at a racing team shortly there after, spending his first year learning with the Moto3 bikes, but his talents didn't go unnoticed, so he was moved up to learn about the difference of the 250cm³ and 765cm³ engines.
He finished his apprenticeship there in 2017 having made some appearances in the Repsol Honda factory already, seeing as he also needs to learn about the 1000cm³ bikes after all. That meant he had lots of experience with racing and working under pressure already and without hesitation, he was signed as one of Marc's mechanics at the beginning of the 2018 season.
They won two championships together and Marc knew no matter what, no matter how shit something went, he could always return to the garage and have his brother's support no matter how often he crashed, how much pain the bike caused him, his brother was there in and out of the garage.
There's two ways to go from here:
1. They became even more codependent and Marc leaving Honda was like a slap to the face for both of them.
2. They drifted apart a bit always aware, that they could rely on eachother for everything and have someone to talk to no matter, but Marc learned through seeing his brother work through the night on the bike, that he wasn't doing it only for Marc, but also for his love of bikes and Alex learned, that no matter how hard he tried, how much he wanted it, he couldn't always make his brother happy.
Either way, there were long discussions held and many tears fell, while Marc thought about whether he should leave or not.
In the end Marc left and Alex stayed. Why? Because he basically had only worked with Hondas for his entire life, there was no set up, no aero, no engine, he knew as well as the Honda. He lived for that bike.
While Marc's crew chief switched over to the other side of the box, now working with Joan, Alex stayed on his side of the garage and started to work with the new guy. Luca.
He knew Luca, of course he did, well at least by name and from the few stories Marc had told, when he and Vale were still okay.
He had even raced against Luca, one single race in 2013, when Alex did his one and only podium in Misano in the Moto3, Luca had subbed in for an injured rider.
But it wasn't Alex to bring that info to the table. It was actually Luca, who after Alex had introduced himself with the rest of the crew had told him that little fact. Alex would have forgotten about it.
That was the first encounter Alex had with Luca's very observant nature, leading to him noticing the smallest details about people's habits and making positive remarks about those.
Away from the track Luca was kind, gentle and always in for a laugh, but on the track, he was just as fierce as everyone else. Despite the Honda being... well the bike that it currently is, he never once tried to blame his mechanics, rather giving feedback about the bike, than telling them in a condescending voice how shit it was. That would have been very understandable and Alex had been rarely actually mad, when riders had done that, he understood the emotions and knew that most riders would come around to apologize later, because it had been a heat of the moment thing.
They were working very close together, going over data until late at night, because Luca was as determined to make that bike work again as Alex was. So it became natural to them to spend time together and they were starting to become friends and eventually more...
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nytb · 2 years
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New Physio
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The return of old club president, Joan Laporta, Fc Barcelona were changing most of their staff, the Femeni first team kept most of theirs, but many new additions were brought in by the president. A change in the physical preparation was required to avoid further injuries, so they hunted for the best possible additions, one of them was Y/N, an up and coming physio who had already made her name stand out with the English National Team. 
The first day of training, Y/N and the new staff joined in on the introductions. Jonathan, the first team manager, welcomed and introduced the new additions to both squad and staff. 
While most of the players started their first training session of preseason, the injured players made their way to the physios room, where their injuries would be re-examined. 
Alexia, who had suffered an ACL injury during the Euros, was looked at by Y/N. “So the club did manage to steal you from the national team” said Alexia referencing the rumours of her signing. 
“Well, the warm weather was probably the reason I came here” joked Y/N “But then again you guys signed my favourite person” she added. "Oh really?" replied Alexia "and who is that lucky person?" she asked full of intrigue. "Hmm you might have heard her name here and there... some weirdo called Bronze" joked Y/N "does that name ring any bells?" added Y/N, "Now that you mention it... I might have heard that name somewhere" replied Alexia continuing Y/N's banter.
Both had some small talk while Y/N helped Alexia perform some exercises for her knee. Y/N took her time with Alexia, giving her a rehabilitation plan filled with recovery exercises, muscle therapy and massage schedules. They took so long that when the teams training session was over, Alexia was still in the physios room.
Lucy, Y/N’s friend, came over to get her usual after practice recovery massage from her favourite physio, poking her head into the room ‘Oh, Y/N I see you are busy, should I come back later?” she asked.
‘I always have time for my favourite right back’ replied Y/N as she waved Lucy in “come in and have a seat, we are pretty much done here’ added Y/N while she gave Alexia her physio schedule and home regiment. 
“With this one as your physio, you will come back from that ACL in record time” announced Lucy proudly to Alexia, ‘Those hands are made by gods I swear” she added.
“Oh really... I might have to stay and see your recovery regiment” said Alexia, giving herself an excuse to hang out with Y/N for a bit longer.
“Well pull up a chair, she cries like a baby so be prepared for some loud wining” joked Y/N.
During the recovery massage, Lucy shared many stories from their time at the national team, allowing Alexia to get to know them both a bit better. Mid-session, a pretty blonde sneaked into the room “Do you have time for me yet..” said Mapi looking at Y/N with puppy eyes. 
“You girls do realise that there are more physios at the club right?” asked Y/N but as Mapi's puppy eyes intensified she caved in “ok.. fine sit over there, I will be right over” Y/N pointed at the secondary bed. 
“Ok maybe It’s my fault Y/N... I might have talked about your godly hands a bit too much to the team” joked Lucy. “I might as well ask for a raise already.. It seems like I will work over-hours many a time” Y/N followed up.
“At least we are good company” said Mapi as she winked at Y/N.
“Well that’s something that I will have to find out” flirted Y/N back.
“Oi, backup flirty one.. I’m her favourite” joked Lucy as she looked at Mapi who took no time to slide with a comeback “You won’t be her fav for long bud”.
Y/N finished Lucys recovery massage and approached Mapi, “So what do you need?” she asked looking intensely at Mapis eyes, something that left the blonde defender speechless. Struggling to meet Y/N eyes, the defender pointed at her foot.
“Well I will need a bit more from you” said Y/N, something that left the blonde defender even more flustered “About what hurts and where” added Y/N giving Mapi some time to recover. “I um... my ankle, it hurts” said the defender, “I got into a rough challenge in practice”.
Y/N examined her ankle, making worrisome noises, concerning Mapi as she had originally used the slight discomfort as an excuse to hang out with Y/N. “I... I see” said Y/N as she looked at the defenders eyes “it seems like we have yet another cry-baby” she joked making Alexia and Lucy burst out laughing at the unexpected turn of events.
Part 2
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ltwharfy · 9 months
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Long Post of Random Thoughts on Finishing "Gravity Falls"
Are you interested in reading a really long post where a middle-aged guy talks about a children’s cartoon that ended seven years ago? If so, you are in luck! I just finished watching “Gravity Falls” y’all! And here are a bunch of totally random thoughts about it:
-“I’ll have you know Duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over kids’ heads!”- it was nice that the kids show that I became obsessed with over the past two months or so acknowledged the reasons adults might get obsessed with it. Also, Duck-tective has to be one of my favorite show-within-a-show premises. I’d definitely check it out!
-While I do love the humor of the show so much, it is really the mystery element- the ongoing story arc- that took me by surprise and eventually led to me bingeing the last eight episodes or so in one day. I just don’t remember animated kids comedies- or really, many kids shows of any type-when I was growing up that had ongoing story arcs like that. Kids shows where the episodes could be watched in any order and everything was always “back to normal” at the beginning of the next episode was the norm.
-I’ve been a fan of Kristen Schaal since she was on The Daily Show and eventually end up watching everything she’s in. So, the main thing I knew about Gravity Falls going into it was “Kristen Schaal does the voice of that girl”. As Louise Belcher is one of my favorite TV characters, I was worried- would I be able to forget about Louise while hearing Mabel? Yes, quite easily. Their personalities are so different! It was basically never an issue. I actually tried to listen for Mabel lines that sounded like Louise might say them and really only ended up with two that stuck out to me (“I high-five hard.” and “I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION!”)
-Oh, but Louise would also want a grappling hook. And, honestly, she’d get as much or more use of it than Mabel did. Like I can think of a few episodes (and the movie…) where it could’ve been helpful. But I digress.
-One final Bob’s Burgers related point, there were a few things in season two that I just couldn’t help but wonder if they were references to Bob’s Burgers. First, the Jersey Shore hometown of Stan and Ford definitely made me think of Seymour’s Bay. And the Pines briefly have a burger phone in “The Stan-Churian Candidate”! On the other hand, both Jersey Shore towns and burger phones are real things that existed well before Bob’s Burgers and not every appearance of them is a reference to it. (But when you’ve also got Kristen Schaal involved…)
-And speaking of cast members who I remembered from other things, both Dipper and Wendy were voiced by actors from short-lived early 00s shows that I loved: Joan of Arcadia’s Jason Ritter and Freaks and Geeks’s Linda Cardellini. The fact that I will associate them with those shows is another indication that I am not in the target demographic of Gravity Falls! But, honestly, if I had known Linda Cardellini was also in this show, I might have checked it out sooner.
-And speaking of Dipper and Wendy, I really loved how they handled Dipper’s crush on her in season two. Their scene together at the end of “Into the Bunker” is so sweet, it just made me feel so much affection for both the characters and the folks who make the show. It would’ve been so easy to never really make any effort to resolve that plotline and instead just always have Dipper pathetically crushing on her for the whole show. Or make it a nerdy boy wish-fulfillment thing and have her actually return his feelings (which just wouldn’t’ve been realistic given their ages). Instead, I feel like they addressed it in a realistic and sensitive way, which was nice.
-Another thing I really appreciated was how they developed some of the supporting characters in season 2, particularly Old Man McGucket and Pacifica Northwest. I enjoyed those characters in season one, but pretty much assumed they would always stay in their stock character roles- crazy old man and mean rich girl, respectively. Instead, McGucket gets what I found to be some of the most moving scenes in the show- when he gets his memories back and when he reunites with Ford.
-And Pacifica! She’s honestly the character I find myself wondering the most about what happens to them after the show. She’s realized her family has been pretty horrible for generations. She stood up to her parents. Her family lost some of their money and had to sell their mansion (her dad pledging allegiance to Bill and investing in weirdness bonds is probably one of my favorite details from the finale). She’s becoming a teenager. And she lives in Gravity Falls full time. I just think her post-series finale life is gonna be pretty fascinating!
-And maybe that life will involve her getting romantically involved with Dipper? Yeah, I started shipping that after “Northwest Mansion Mystery”, and even though the show really didn’t give them any scenes together (which is understandable, there was a lot of other stuff going on) I still like it. I checked to see if there was fic about it on AO3 and immediately got freaked out because there is so dang much of it! Seriously, the number of Dipper/Pacifica fics on there is literally ten times the number of fics for my favorite Bob’s Burgers ship! What am I supposed to do with that?!
-So if the statement, “I’m looking for the ‘Be My Thrill’/’heaven help the fool who falls in love’ of Dipper/Pacifica fics” means something to you, and you have a recommendation, let me know.
-One supporting character I wish had been introduced earlier: Tad Strange, the most normal person in town. The name, the character design, the voice, all just amused me. It would’ve been fun if there was more of him.
-Speaking of supporting character designs that I loved: Toby Determined and his hat, with the press card that says “hat” instead of “press”. That literally always made me smile. I love it so much. It is one of my favorite cartoon character design details ever.
-Possibly the most random of observations: I can now think of four fictional characters named Mabel off the top of my head, but don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with that name in real life.
-I don’t have any kids of my own, but I do have a nephew, and now I am pretty excited about the possibility that I could be a Grunkle a few decades down the road. Hopefully, I’ll have my own Mystery Shack by then.
-Even though I know how the storyline ends now, I feel like this show has a high level of rewatchability for some point in the future. I’m sure there will be tons of details that I didn’t notice the first time around, and there are definitely more layers of it to peel back (I never paid attention to the codes/puzzles in the credits. Although, had I been watching this show when I was 10 I probably would’ve obsessed about them.)
-I can probably think of more things to say about this show and probably will, but this seems like enough for now. Thanks to Alex Hirsch and everyone involved in making the show for creating such wonderfully weird, hilarious, entertaining world! And thanks to you, person who actually read to the end of this post!
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messinwitheddie · 6 months
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Pepito "Nny, you unwashed ASS CRACK! You have the NERVE to bitch because Tenna responded to your 1200th text with a fucking emoji instead of a Shakespearean sonnet?!
Let me explain something to you! You are NOT a catch! Why do you think you're a catch?! Because you're "funny?" Because you can FAKE being nice and charming long enough to trick a woman into buying you dinner and a movie ticket?! Because you're well read?? The only reason you have free time to read so much is because you have no job and no friends besides Squee!
You're not that tall! You have crooked teeth, a crooked nose, an off putting smile, a sunken-in chest and narrow shoulders-- literally the only thing you have going for you is you're skinny! And once time and gravity catch up with your shitty diet of corner store snacks we'll see how skinny you stay!"
Nny "Fu--"
Pepito "Say one fucking word and I'll make you projectile puke a swarm of roaches! Where was I?! OH! You're rapidly approaching 30! You haven't displayed a shred of talent since high school! AGAIN, you're unemployed, unemployable, penniless, homeless-- you literally SQUAT here, you have NO family, NO future! The only useful function you ever served in this reality was being a negative energy waste lock and you've been replaced already! You, Johnny C, have NOTHING to offor this girl or ANYONE!!
The only two types of women who EVER talk to you are exhausted, underappreciated retail workers with a pity kink and confident club chicks who want to piss off their strict daddies and/or they have a fucking pity kink!
You should be on your knees, kissing the most ample spot on her ass for acknowledging you much less willingly touch you long enough to give you a haircut that effectively covers the bald spot forming-"
Nny "What--??"
Pepito "-instead of chasing you out of her hair salon with a hose like the mangy street dog you are!! Okay?!! We clear on this??! Did I help reality set in?! Tenna is TOO good for you! Nearly everyone on earth is TOO GOOD for you! Don't chase her off like you did Devi because you will NEVER find another Devi! Tenna is your last chance to NOT die alone in a dark corner under this dilapidated bungalo!"
Nny "..."
Pepito "-So shut the fuck up and text back a winky face or some shit!!
[The dialogue I never finished for this post
Which was inspired by the above Nny tweet lol.
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kingofthering · 12 days
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I’ve touched on my experience in Le Mans this season (2024) and I have free time on my hands so I thought I could talk about my experience there in 2023.
CONTEXT
— I semi-impulsively bought the ticket at the end of January (2023) when I was on the website of the GP and saw that they had some GS seats left. I had a Zarco GS seat so I was right in front of the Raccordement and could see the straight before the finish line (I paid 159€ for it).
— At this point, I had only started getting into MotoGP a couple months prior and the only GP I had watched live was Valencia 2022. Le Mans was only a one-hour train ride away from where I lived and finding an okay-priced bedroom on AirBnB was a successful mission so I just thought this is low preparation, I’ll have fun, let’s go.
— I went alone and didn’t know anyone there. More under the cut.
OVERALL
— My only motorsport race weekend experience before that was GA in Monza 2022, you might have heard about how chaotic that was. Le Mans was such a relief in comparison.
— I’ve touched on it in my 2024 debrief but the Bugatti circuit has an entrance that is 150 meters away from the terminus of one of the tramway lines. Getting there from my AirBnB literally took 20 minutes door to door.
— I arrived at the doors around 8:30 on Friday, 7 on Saturday and 8:30 on Sunday. I didn’t have to queue at all at the gate on the first two days. I might have queued like 5 minutes on Sunday (reminder : Le Mans beat the previous attendance record that weekend with 278k people over 3 days).
— I bought at the circuit headphones that could do radio and connect to the speakers of the circuit. It cost 60 euros but it was so worth it (for the ears protection + the radio aspect of thing). If you wanna go the cheapest route, definitely have some sort of ear protection with you (ear plugs work as well).
FRIDAY
— Since I arrived early, there weren’t a lot of people at the fanzone. I was able to go see some bikes and then gain a free Red Bull after doing the reflexes game with the lights you have to tap with your hands.
— I went to my GS to see P1 and then came back to the fanzone around noon. I saw that some people were already waiting in front of the stage so I went to wait with them. I eventually ended up talking with some of the people there, especially the girls who asked about my Charles Stint Apparel sweatshirt.
— I think we started having people on stage at like 2pm? There was a DJ and some people I don’t remember intervening. Well, I do remember Hervé Poncharal and the CIP boys being there (can you believe I saw Mig from up close before realizing how insanely cool he was? I’m still terribly sad about that).
— Eventually, after P2 was done, it was time for the MotoGP riders to get there. First we had Rinsy & Taka, Pecco & Enea, then Johann & Jorge, Fabio & Franky and finally Marc & Joan.
— Essentially they all stayed about 15 minutes on stage, the guy managing the stage asked them questions and then the public could ask questions as well. On their way down from the stage they all stopped for autographs and selfies. I was second row/barely touching the barrier so I only took photos of them and had help from my new friends to get my Michelin cap signed by a bunch of them.
— I miraculously got to have the mic when Honda was there (only public question they took, they were only on stage for about 6 minutes because things got out of schedule) and I got to ask Marc a question. I did not ask anyone to film (yes I have regrets, ‘o my heart wasn’t doing well then) but essentially I asked him how he was feeling coming back and what he liked about Le Mans considering he’d won there 4 times already in the past. He paused me at the beginning of my question so he could find me in the public and look at me while I was asking the question, sweetest thing (bar is on the floor, I do not care, this is Marc).
— After that, we got some Moto2 pairs on stage as well : KTM Ajo (Pedro & Albert Arenas), GasGas (Jake & Izan) & Speed Up (Alonso & Fermin).
— During the afternoon people handed over a bunch of things to the first rows in the public and that’s how I got a signed by Marc Honda cap and a bracelet that would grant me access to the Hero Walk on Saturday morning.
— Overall an insane afternoon. Super tiring and not always easy (people were pushing a lot at some points and I am small™️) but definitely worth it.
SATURDAY
— They said the Hero Walk would be at 9 but I arrived at 7 because I didn’t know how many people would be there and I definitely wanted a front row for that. Things got kind of hectic when they put the final barriers but I did get said front row against the barriers.
— Almost all the riders came by (it lasted a little under an hour, almost until the beginning of FP). The public sang a Marseillaise for Fabio (as it did the day before during the fanzone event).
— I got to have my cap signed by a bunch of guys and also take selfies with a couple of them. I had my photo with Bezz as a lockscreen for a good while after the event (including the Sunday when he won) and I still have the photo with Alex as my insta pfp. Some of the guys you couldn’t talk to at all because too many people were calling for their attention (ex: Marc, Fabio…) but I got to congratulate Alex & Brad on their previous results and they were both super nice. Super nice experience that I still think about fondly.
— I went to my GS for quali and the sprint. I came by the fanzone for the second half of the MotoGP riders events. I was too far to ask for the mic again but I watched them all and I do have a small video of Tony speaking in French.
— At night, from about 7:30 to 9pm, they had a Mechanical Show on the straight with a lot of people doing stunts on motorbikes. Fabio also came by (Tom, Mathilde, Tony & Jake were there as well). He spoke some words and threw his helmet into the public. The whole thing was pretty cool.
— I know they had concerts on Fri & Sat at the fanzone but I didn’t stay for any so I won’t be able to talk about them.
SUNDAY
— Truthfully, I don’t think I have much to say about Sunday. I think Sundays will forever by my least favorite day at the race track.
— Essentially, I got there, waited in line nearly half an hour to buy a Red Bull can for 5 euros, watched warm up, watched the parade (that I still think is a super boring events for fans) and then the races.
— I was a little apprehensive about getting back to the train station but honestly things were super well organized with trams, it was quite nice.
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