explain why in the tags - this was inspired by me noticing a trend of eldest siblings identifying with peter (one I watched with show with kept audibly groaning at the little siblings shenanigans)
Today, on an unnamed patch of shady grass beside a canal in the Zemnian countryside, Essek unexpectedly came to terms with the fact he will never go home again.
(or: the gardener fic)
A shadowgast fic rated T featuring the Zemnian countryside, slow dancing, and meditations on gardening.
I keep rotating certain aspects of the Evontra'vir-Ashton conversation and there's one specific thing I see other people taking away from it that is lacking a certain amount of nuance that stuck with me.
Specifically in regards to Ashton's views and how they parallel his fathers.
It should be obvious to everyone at this point that Ashton's stubborn hypocritical "refusal to the call" rooted in his anti divine/fate beliefs need some genuine reflection. They are important and they are aware of it but they don't want any of the hard to grapple with things associated. He needs to think about what it is he can actually do moving forward rather than getting caught up in what he feels he's owed.
However! One very important thing that I keep seeing others ignore or maybe just not even pick up on is THIS.
Efterin's entitlement came from his own zealots ego. The powers he believed he was promised an understanding and control over were NEVER his.
Ashton's entitlement towards the situation is rooted in what was done TO him. Those powers are in fact his. They have been there since he was a child due to a ritual he had no say in. That ritual physically altered his body and killed off nearly everyone in his entire village.
Which. Again. Just because they HAVE those powers doesn't mean they were ever guaranteed mastery over them. Certainly not without putting in effort. It has never been a "gift", even if part of them wishes it was. There is likely never going to be a reality in which the full-blown titan level abilities just ACTIVATE for him with full ease. Moving forward. He has a base level of info. Which he likely didn't find satisfying (but given the situation, there was never really a "satisfying" answer). Now they need to just. Look forward and inward. Make some changes if they want some changes.
But yeah. At the end of the day. Regardless of parallels and a real need for character reflection and growth. Saying that Ashton is "the same" as Efterin seems. Fairly reductive, all things considered.
i get him. i get him so much. i am the eldest kid and this is how i look like. the eyes, the bags under his eyes, the cigarette, yeah yeah that's The Long Suffering Eldest Kid Look™️
BUT WAIT. YOU KNOW WHAT GETS ME HERE?? YOU KNOW WHAT?? HE CHENG WAS GETTING A MASSAGE. HE WAS RELAXING. He probably just finished a whole day of meetings and doing mob boss things and then he gets a fucking call that he’s stupid little brother and his stupid friends have done more stupid things and he has to bail them out AGAIN because Brother Qiu would kill them himself if he doesn’t.
So now here He Cheng is. In his bathrobe. Outside. In the rain. Watching as his stupid brother and his stupid friends climb out of Qiu's carーwhich was actually He Cheng's and which he thinks Qiu probably damaged on purpose just to get back at him foisting He Tian and his friends at him. He Cheng probably didn't even get to finish his massage. He's having the universal Eldest Child experience of something going wrong the second he tries to relax all because his little brother is such a little shit. That cigarette dangling from his mouth is his last life line to sanity.