#I really don’t want to floundering for money just as I’ve started living out on my own | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heymeowmao · 1 year

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2022.12.28 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324851749570871843

#InformalNewYear’sEveParty

-- Fall in Love LYN: Hallo, everyone. I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~

- /is already trending, before he even started his stream. hopes he can stay trending and not have his topic drop now that he’s officially started. X’D/ C: That’s impossible. LYN: What's impossible? Anything can happen.

C: Is it the Carnation Music Festival today? LYN: A lot of people don’t know what this is. It started off as a Music Festival held in my own stream- there are lots of music festivals out there, like “Strawberry Music Festival” and whatnot, so I made one for myself and called it the “Carnation Music Festival.” You all know carnations, right? It represents mothers. I called it that because all my viewers and fans are like my lifelong parents. LYN: I originally wanted Da-Fei and Ah-Zhuo to come and we would play like we did last time, but because of the pandemic they both... have problems. I’m going to the Jiangsu Satellite TV New Year’s Event and I was afraid they’d pass it on to me. I’m not afraid of getting sick, I’m just worried that it will affect the performance- because once you have it, your voice ends up in not a great condition. I was afraid it would affect my performance, because at Jiangsu it’s all live. Every year they invite- well, not invite per se- but for a singer this is pretty much a basic requirement, to sing live. But on such an important date- the one time of the year that you spend with the viewers and people who like you, to cross from 2022 to 2023- I think it’s quite an important event. And it’s streamed live. A lot of events are pre-recorded, but it’s been five years since I debuted and whenever I hear that it will be live-streamed, I get nervous. I’m easily flustered and find myself floundering. So for Jiangsu I’m both excited and nervous. C: Sit on the wheelchair to sing. LYN: I’ll pass.

LYN: A lot of you may have come in because of the trending topic- let me introduce myself. My name is Liu Yuning. I used to sing and now I’ve slowly started acting. At the very start, I was a cook. After middle school I wasn’t a very good student in high school, so I went to culinary school. After that I was a waiter for a few years, and I didn’t really like it so I started singing. Now from singing I’ve started down the path of acting. Sometimes I’ll take on some security guard work and... protect other people’s love.

C: How’s your foot? LYN: The bone’s broken, what else can I tell you about it? It’s broken, so I just have to take care of it, and it’ll be at least three months until it’s better. I’ll try my best not to move it or touch it, and it’ll be about a month before I can start to try and walk on it. For now I’m just hopping around on one foot. People usually get around by calling a cab service, I’m getting around in a wheelchair. C: Has the electric one arrived? LYN: It has. :) It’s not convenient to get around, so I’ve gotten an electric wheelchair. I don’t want people to have to push me around all the time, like I’m on the verge of death or something. I really don’t like people to see me when I’m sick/hurt. So I don’t want you to see me having to get pushed around everywhere. The electric wheelchair is both fun and ridiculous. C: Then how will you get to the New Year’s event? LYN: It’s in Macau, right? How will I get there... by car?? No, I’ll get there by plane. There’s this method of transportation called an “airplane”, have you heard of it? How else would I get there? Or did you think I would walk there by following the railroad tracks?? LYN: When I was little I really wanted to go to Beijing and look around, see Tiananmen. But I was small and had no money, so I thought I would walk along the railroad tracks. If I followed them for long enough, I’d walk to Beijing eventually, wouldn’t I? I had this sort of foolish thought, when I was little.

C: The image is getting smaller and smaller. LYN: What are you talking about? Is it getting smaller? No, right? It must be because your phone screen is small. Have you switched your phone?? How can the image be small? Your phone must be broken. If you really think it’s small, you can broadcast to your tv and watch.

C: It’s my birthday today. LYN: Then I will wish this friend a Happy Birthday~ I think it’s quite nice to be able to hang out at home and watch my stream on your birthday. I’m happy to be spending your birthday with you. Happy Birthday! - /plays the Happy Birthday song/ C: My birthday is in two days. LYN: No problem. When the playback for this stream comes up, you can record that part and the morning of your birthday you can play the recording. It’ll be like Ning-ge is celebrating your birthday with you. Nice. Entertaining.

C: Is your clothes the same as Daimi’s? LYN: It is! You all know that I’ve collaborated with Shanghai Disney- I sang the 5th anniversary theme song. I got to know one of the jiejies there and- /stream lags/- and she likes Daimi, so when she sees something she will send it over. I thought it looked pretty nice. After that- I didn’t even know- my fans looked it up online and told me that there was a human version of what my dog was wearing. So I asked the jiejie- if there’s a human version, why didn’t she arrange a little something for me? XD Does my reputation not live up to that of my dog’s?? She did end up sending two to me.

C: Will you stream on New Year’s Day? LYN: Erm.. a large reason why I am able to keep going until this day is because I have awareness. Just like when I started acting- when I first started, there were main lead roles that came to me too. But I didn’t accept any of them because I didn’t think I was good enough. Of course now I’m still not good enough, but at least I picked up 6-7 supporting roles first before I started taking lead roles. So, I’m very aware (of what I can and can’t do). Now if you want me to stream on New Year’s... how could I fight for viewership with CCTV’s New Year’s Gala? Am I worthy? I’m not. How could I fight with them for viewership?? I’ll pass. You just watch the CCTV New Year’s Gala. LYN: Right? Last time I came home early to stream, but it was the World Cup finals. I didn’t fight for viewership then, either. I wrapped up before the match. So on New Year’s you should spend it with your family, you don’t need to spend it with me. That’s not necessary. There are plenty of other holidays we can spend together. There are a lot of you who are away from home for work or school and now you’ve finally got the chance to go home, so you should spend it with your family. C: Ning-ge, I want to spend the New Year with you. LYN: I don’t want to spend mine with you. It’s the New Year, let me rest. C: But you always call us your “family”, how could you not spend it with us? LYN: I rarely use the word “family”. Usually when I call you my “family” it’s in jest. I normally only call you my “friends.” Maybe one day when I lose my mind and start selling you products, then I’ll call you my “family.” But before I do that, there’s no need. But... I don’t think it’s right to be taking money from my “family”... C: So that means that anyone who wants you to stream on New Year’s is no longer your family? LYN: What are you saying? If we’re not family, how could we be under the same house, and how could you be in my stream now? Anyone who is here is my guest. When you walk through these doors, you’re all my family. But as for New Year’s, I don’t know if this is the appropriate term, but isn’t it “return to the parent’s home on the third day”? [t/n: 回娘家; when married daughters return to their parent’s house to visit] I count as your parent’s home. I know a lot of my viewers are women, so I count as part of your maternal home. Is it the third or the fourth? I don’t know... The second?! Alright, then I’ll try my best so that I can stream on the second. In this case, we will be family. C: Visit the parent’s family on the second and visit the grave on the third. LYN: ?! What are you saying?? This- this IS part of our tradition but there’s no need to bring that up here. You didn’t need to bring it to the forefront like that.

LYN: Is ZSX here? No, right? How could he be here? There’s no way my humble stream could entertain such a big figure. I don’t believe he’d come. There’s no way. LYN: He’s really here?? If he’s here, he’s here. What are you telling me for? LYN: Let him come. LYN: He’s been busy lately, I know. We keep in contact- I have his WeChat and we do message each other. He’s in Hengdian, too, so we always meet up. I went to see his stream earlier. I came to announce in the Super Topic that I would be streaming tonight and I saw that he was streaming so I went to take a look. I saw that he was chatting with a girl (Liang Jie). I hope his drama does well! C: You’re advertising for him... LYN: I’m not really, this doesn’t count as advertising. He’s my friend. If his drama is airing and you’re watching, then please continue. Who am I to advertise his drama for him. I don’t have the marketability or publicity to do so. I’m just putting in a word for a friend. C: Ask him for ad money. LYN: What money?? Don’t always morally kidnap someone, that’s not nice. We’re really very close. When people send him fruits, he always sends me a case or two. And of course, if I have something tasty, I will send it to him in return. It’s not all about money.

C: If you drink coffee at night won’t you be unable to sleep? LYN: It doesn’t affect my sleep. Because this drama in particular is pretty complex, so I think about a lot of things and haven’t much had a good sleep. Much of my brain power throughout the day is exhausted because I’m thinking about the drama. But you don’t need to worry about my sleep- we’re almost done with filming. I’ll go out for the New Year’s and then get back and we’ll be wrapping up. What day, specifically, I can’t say. Soon. Early January. Maybe around the 10th.

C: Is voice acting for ALZ done? LYN: It’s done. It’s done and I’ve moved on to the voice acting for TXJ. C: Will it air before your birthday? LYN: I don’t know; I’m not sure whether it can air on my birthday or not. And oh- you still remember my birthday...

C: How’s TXJ? LYN: It’s nice. From what I’ve seen I think it’s pretty decent. I’ve finished my lines up until the 6th episode? Or the 8th... But I went to record an OST the other day and after I was done with that, I thought I was in good enough condition to start the voice acting. I don’t have many scenes in TXJ- only around 190. You may not have an idea if I say it that way, but it’s around the same amount of screen-time as I had with Hao Du. From what I’ve seen it’s filmed very well. You’ll know when you see it. The people and things are filmed very thoroughly. I’m very satisfied with the result. Another thing is- there are moments where I didn’t even recognize myself. There were these moments I was thinking, “Who IS this?? So ugly???” I’m quite ugly in it, but the drama itself looks good. That was a special/unique role for me, so when you watch it I hope that you can be more lenient towards me. It’s not an idol drama, but more realistic. So I'm ugly to the point you might not recognize me. When you’re watching you could be so absorbed in the story you don’t even realize it’s me. You’ll be thinking, “Who is this? This isn’t LYN, this is Zuo Bufan!” C: I’ll watch you through a filter. LYN: Not even a filter can save me. That drama was filmed pretty amazingly- all of the angles are dead angles. They really wanted to get the situation and the feelings of the character across, so they used a lot of dead angles. Some of them are truly dead.

C: You’re an actor, you can do it. LYN: Of course I can. I quite like the drama. In watching it myself, I didn’t consider myself an artist or someone who was too aware of his surroundings. In this drama, I was well and truly an actor. A young, rookie actor. As an actor, I don’t think the first thing you should consider is whether you look good in a drama or not- although looking good IS very important- but the most important thing is still the role. LYN: I’m the type of person who’s not afraid of looking ugly. If you’ve seen some of my dramas, you’ll know. Some dramas and some scenes- if the situation calls for it, sometimes the makeup artist is afraid of making the actor look too ugly. In this case I will tell them, “This is no good. Make me look dirtier/uglier. Is this what one month in prison looks like? No way. Make me look more convincing.” You have to be realistic, and not give up on realism in order to look good. Viewers already know that we’re acting, so it’s pointless to make it look fake, too.

C: Do you have new music this year? LYN: I’m about ready to release a new song~ I was chatting with my staff earlier, and it occurred to me: have I not had ANY music-related stage this year? I thought about it and in the whole of 2022, as a singer, I haven’t been on a single stage. The only one was Yuanxiao with Luo Tianyi (2022 new year’s), but after that I haven’t had one. That’s why I’m looking forward to Jiangsu even more, since it’ll be my first performance in a year. It’s not as if I stopped making music- my OSTs are always being released, and even though I didn’t get to work on my album- because I know I can’t hold a concert anyway, so I’ve put my album on hold- I’m still looking for songs to put on it though, and that process is almost done. But I really haven’t released my own song yet this year because.. I don’t want to. I’ll release one for the New Year, though. Last year during the new year I released a song, and this year during the new year I’ll release another. It’s been recorded and is being produced. So you’ll be able to listen to another one for the new year, but as for the title it hasn’t been confirmed yet. C: New Year’s Song 2.0 LYN: That’s the basic gist of it, yeah. But calling it “2.0″ is a little.. uhm... because the first one wasn’t even popular. So If I add a “2.0″ to the back of the new one I think it would be difficult for people to find. I want to think of something that will be easy for people to look up. C: Is it to be listened to on the second day of the new year? LYN: You mean I should call it “回娘家听的歌”?? A lot of you really are married, so you want to listen to this song on your way back to your parent’s house on the second day of the new year? C: 回娘家的歌 LYN: Go away. There’s are no lyrics that have any relation to going back to your parent’s home. But if you really need good music to listen to on your way back home, then I’ll release one for you. Next year for New Year’s I’ll release a song called “初二回娘家". C: I’ll suggest something for you: 年 (Nian/Year). LYN: You mean the “year” in “new year” right? But single-word titled songs are more likely to be at a disadvantage. Unless it gets really popular. “年” is too short, maybe something like... “ 一个好年” (A Good Year)- in the hopes that everyone can have a good year. It’s a possibility. LYN: I was originally thinking, because there’s some lyrics in it that are “恭喜发财！红包拿来！”- I was thinking of opening a mailbox and having you all send in clips of you saying that. I think gathering 200-300 audio clips and blending them together to add into the song- I could tell people that these voices are my fans- would have been very meaningful. I was thinking of doing that, but it got complicated. I was afraid the fan circles would start fighting again. When I first had the thought my staff advised me not to, because the first time around when I was filming my MV and were looking for my fans’ children to make an appearance in it, a lot of people expressed dismay at the idea. My staff told me that this time if I opened a mailbox to collect these audio clips and in the end someone’s clip isn’t used in the song, wouldn’t they be unhappy? I didn’t think it would be too big of a problem, because even if you collapsed 10 voices into 1, you wouldn’t be able to tell which is yours. I mean, who would be able to tell??? No one would. But you’d get the satisfaction of being able to say that you participated in LYN’s new song. LYN: You can brag to people that among the chorus of voices, one of them is yours. I’ll think about it and if I need it I’ll ask the producers if it’s even possible. If it is, I’ll open a mailbox and you can put your clips in there. I’ll even give you a beat to follow, too. When it’s all done I’ll collect a portion to include in my song and you can pretend it’s all of you. When the song is made I can say it’s sung by Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning and add a semi-colon with “and his fans (Pengfei)”- it’ll be a collaboration song. LYN: Later if this song is playing in the market and you’re out shopping with your mom you can tell her, “Mom, I sang this song. I sang it with LYN.” You can use this song to brag. C: Should we use our respective dialects? LYN: Oh, let’s not. Because if we get a bunch of clips and they’re all using different dialects, there’s no way we can make it cohesive. Let’s just use Standard Mandarin for this.

C: Have you finished the Chongzi OST? LYN: That’s been done a long time ago. I finished recording that three or four months ago.

C: Ning-ge, could I have my dog bark a few times (for the song)? LYN: /laughs/ Is your dog my fan, too? When it listens to my songs it will hum along? C: Is my cat okay? LYN: There’s no need! How about you have your hamster squeak a couple times, too?? LYN: I now I’m trying out acting right now, but I’m still a singer! You can’t take my songs and treat them like child’s play! You want dog barks and cat meows. I’m sure some of you raise chickens and pigs, too! I know some of my friends have farms with donkeys. Let’s add that in there, too. We’ll call the song “New Year’s Zoo”. C: Ning-ge, how about my rabbit? LYN: Do rabbits make a sound? I’ve never heard one before. C: How about fish? LYN: Alright, let’s hear it. If the fish you’re raising can make a sound.... I really won’t believe it. LYN: Stop messing around, let’s talk about something normal. Why do I feel like you’re teasing me? I’m trying to chat with you but I keep feeling like there’s a group of you out there trying to provoke me. You just want me to look bad. I’m still an artist, please don’t make me look bad.

LYN: Let’s see if I can sing a song. This sweater is more suited to Christmas... Let’s try this; because I haven’t sung in a long time, let me test out my condition. - /changing the color of the lyrics; LYN: Oh, red isn’t good. Red is scary; chooses green./ LYN: Let’s make it melancholy. -- 圣诞结 (Lonely Christmas) LYN: It’s so hard to sing? /sigh/

C: Will you still sing? LYN: I can. When I get better I can hum a few more. It’s for fun, anyway. My stream is very relaxed.

-- break #1

C: Ning-ge, the little tv behind you is gone? LYN: I still have it. I’ll have to fins a chance to re-install it for my stream. To make it so that there’s enough to see back there, I plan on re-installing it at some point. Maybe when the drama wraps and I have time. I’ll properly invest in it.

C: Ning-ge, when you hop around on one leg, will it not hurt the other? LYN: My knees are full of bruises. I get around the house on one leg. You all have played chicken fights, right? When you hug one leg and run into one another person to see who drops their leg first? Now every day I’m hopping on one leg. Hop to the restroom. Hop to the kitchen. I hop everywhere. LYN: You don’t need to feel sorry for me. The bone’s broken, so there’s not much I can do other than to take care of it. I went to the hospital yesterday and they switched me from a plaster cast to a boot. Like this, I’ll show you. I can set my foot gently on the ground. The doctor wants me to try walking on it with help from the crutch, otherwise my muscles will atrophy. LYN: I was changing my pants the other day and my two legs are already of different thickness. My left leg’s calf muscle is very thick and my right leg is completely gone. It’s just just a piece of meat dangling around, but my left leg is really developed. It’s kind of like torture. If my leg were completely healed right now, I’d still have lost the ability to walk normally. That’s no good- I rely on these two legs to get me by. If you ask anyone what LYN’s advantages are in this industry, it’s his height. But now I’ve lost one leg, so I’ve lost my advantage. My face was already just average. I’ve lost my “leg-up”- I’m done for.

LYN: Don’t see my being happy when I stream for you. In reality I have a good cry before I go to sleep. X’D I’ll quietly shed some tears under the covers of my blanket. I’ll cry for five minutes. - /puts on sad bgm/ LYN: You might think I’m very happy when I’m streaming, but at night when the world is quiet, I’ll turn emo. /sigh/ I’ll cry every night. - /turns off the sad bgm/ LYN: How can you be like this?? I don’t know- but when I see that some other artist gets hurt I see that their fans always feel so badly for them they can’t take it anymore. They all cry! Even if they’re not hurt, they cry! But what about you?! You just sit there and tell me, “Ning-ge, stop pretending.” I said I cried and you told me to stop pretending. XD Are you really my fans? Can you be so cold about it? You should at least feel some SHRED of pain for me, and then I would feel that playing “Angel” would have been worth it. Even if you were just being polite, and posted, “I feel bad for you. Can you sing another song?” Even that would have been enough. The first thing you say to me is, “Ning-ge, men have to fight. What are you crying for? I don’t believe it. Stop pretending.” /laughs/ LYN: My fans truly are one of a kind. It’s my fault for teaching you this way, because I never play the pity card. There’s no need, because your gege is... not pretentious. I don’t try to play the pity card, and you don’t buy it anyway.

C: Ning-ge, I can cry. It’ll cost 200RMB each time. LYN: /laughs/ No wonder actors make such good money. One crying scene will get you 200RMB?

LYN: I’m kidding. I don’t cry. What’s there to cry about?

C: I cried really loudly! LYN: Record it, I want to hear it. Record it on your phone and then @ me. I want to know exactly how loudly you cry. I want to see how many hertz you reach. We’ll test it out and see how much “really loudly” is.

C: Ning-ge, give me 100RMB and I’ll cry. LYN: Um... 100RMB for some tears... If you really have this ability, you could start taking jobs. C: Give me 50RMB nd I can cry. LYN: Alright, shush.

C: Ning-ge, change your bg to something with trees. LYN: You think my stream has such high technology that I can change the bg at will? It doesn’t have that function. Only this. It looks more dreamy. Is this alright- Does it match with my clothes?

LYN: This clothes is more suited for this, though. /snow filter/ It’s snowing. :)

C: How long will you stream for? LYN: Not too late. I’ll stop streaming at around 11p because tomorrow morning I’ve got to get up at 5:30a for hair and makeup. That means I’ve got to get up and ready at 5a. 5:30a is really a little early... So I can’t stream for too long tonight. C: So early! LYN: It’s my fault. After my shoots tomorrow I have to head out in the afternoon. I’ll be getting on a plane and headed for Jiangsu Satellite TV’s New Year’s. LYN: I said earlier that I haven’t had much opportunity to have a stage performance this year, and that’s because it’s difficult to request time away from the crew. It’s not that they won’t LET you go for one or two days, it’s that I’m afraid that if I leave and then... catch covid... I’d have to quarantine for at least 7-10 days before I can film with the crew again. There’s no way they’re going to stop filming and wait for you for 10 days. That’s what I’m afraid of, so that’s why I didn’t accept any stage invitation this year. As for the new year, I didn’t intend on attending- not that I didn’t want to go, but that I was afraid of leaving (Hengdian). But I ended up accepting and I can come back and continue filming like normal. Also, I haven’t attended a single event this year so I HAVE to go out, at least for New Year’s. It’s the most important event, for me. I’ve debuted for four years, and have attended five new year’s events- this year will be the fifth. LYN: Every year I’m happy when I land in Macau because it means I can shop. :) I’ve debuted for a little more than four years and will be attending my fifth New Year’s event. Four of them were Jiangsu Satellite TV, and only once was for Hunan. But Jiangsu’s is always in Macau, and I think that shopping there is always fun. I can’t shop this year, though- first of all, I’m already crippled and secondly, I don’t want to try my chances of getting sick and it affecting my performance. So this year I won’t shop, and you all don’t have to wait outside the hotel and block my way. Every time I shop there are always a group of you there. It’s hard enough for me to leave the drama crew and get some time to myself, and when I want to shop there’s a group of you following me. D: I always tell you, “Stop following me. Let me shop. I rarely get the chance to come out and wander. With all of you around I feel like passersby are suddenly subject to a monkey show.” (wherein he is the monkey) But you don’t stop, and continue to follow me. OMG, There’s just no helping it. You can’t ask fans for too much. I think it’s already respectful enough that none of you haven’t come up and thrown a fist. This year, even when I get to the location, I won’t shop and just stay obediently in my room. Obediently sing, and obediently return to my drama crew.

LYN: Honestly sometimes I feel tired. What I mean by that is- and I’m not trying to make you pity me, I’m just trying to describe it. Tomorrow, for example. I’ll wake up at 5am and shoot a few scenes for the drama then head off to the airport. Once I reach ground, I’ll go immediately into rehearsals, because I’ve prepared a few songs, and after that my day is pretty much over. Sometimes when I have a work schedule like this I’ll feel like it’s tiring. We’re all people, after all, even though it’s true that it also brings in an income. Even so, you’ll inevitably feel tired. BUT! One day, a friend woke me up. I have a friend- I only have so many, I’m sure you can guess who it is- we have a four-person group chat. At the time we were all in Hengdian, so I said, “If we wrap early, let’s all meet up for a meal.” And they replied, “I can’t eat tonight” so I asked what they were doing. They said, “I wrap up at 10p and then I need to go shoot an advertisement.” Shooting a commercial at 10 at night?? I was thinking, that usually a shoot like this takes about 10 or so hours. At the least it’ll be 8 hours. So, if you’re going out at 10p to do an 8 hour shoot, that means you’re going to wrap up in the very early morning. I heard that and I thought they must be crazy. They’re working too hard, aren’t they? But after I heard their attitude towards work I realized that I was nothing. From then on, if I have a consecutive work schedule like this I don’t feel anything in particular, I just think it’s something that I should be doing. LYN: I won’t say who it is, just that there was a situation like this. There are times when you’re tired- when your body can’t keep up but your mind will tell you that you have to persist. C: Your body is very important, too. LYN: Of course it is. That’s why everyone should take care of their health. Your health is your capital; you have to watch out for your health. Especially after I’ve hurt my foot, I realize that your body is very important. It’s so hard to get around. I’m so tall and I have to get around by hopping on one leg- I can’t even walk normally, think about how tortuous that is, for me.

C: Ning-ge, when will BYOL air? LYN: For a modern drama, I think it’ll air a bit quicker. I predict... actually I don’t dare to predict anything because if I say something and then at the time it really doesn’t air, you’ll think I’m just spreading nonsense like the gossip blogs. I don’t know when it will air. It will air on tv, so they need to discuss which broadcast station will accept and air the drama and in what time-slot. These things are hard to predict, but I’m guessing it will air sometime in the next year. I won’t guess. It’ll air next year.

LYN: Next year I predict at least four of my dramas can air. I hope that next year you see enough of me. Right now we’re at the point where if a gossip blog mentions my name as one of the actors in a new drama, people will ask, “Why is he everywhere??” And then next year I think four of my dramas will air.. so that means I’m in for some criticism. I’m sure you’ll see enough of me. - /ALZ - ZC - TXJ - BYOL & mentions which platforms they’ll be streaming on, so be sure to purchase membership/ C: Ning-ge, gift me with a membership. LYN: 去你的! Watch if you want to. You want ME to pay money for YOU to watch? There’s no way. Who does that? I mean... I don’t expect this from anyone else’s fans but for my fans, at least... It’s not a request, per se, but see I’m here four seasons of the year to stream for you, and I’ve even closed the gifting option and I don’t expect nor require anyone to come indulge me. The only thing I do is come to stream, and keep you a little company, right? And the only thing I ask for in return is that when my dramas are airing, you can purchase a membership to watch me. It’s not like having a membership for a month or two will ruin your life’s fortune. If you can open one, please do. It counts as supporting me, just a little. AND you can watch a drama. Even if you don’t watch, don’t let the membership go to waste- you can keep the tv on when you’re not watching. After a month of this, even if you didn’t watch anything, it doesn’t count as having wasted your membership. If you eat one less jianbing you can help support your Ning-ge and open a membership. You can watch other dramas, movies, and variety shows while you’re at it.

C: It’s a waste of electricity. LYN: If you put it that way... then I’ll teach you a way. Tomorrow go buy five power banks. I’m sure you’re not normally at home, right? Don’t charge them when you’re at home- charge them when you’re somewhere else. Take them out and charge them up, and then bring them home to plug your phone in. Even if you’re wasting electricity, it’ll be your workplace’s electricity. Alright? Ning-ge has taught you this thieving technique: charge your power bank at work. C: Ning-ge, the company will penalize you. LYN: I don’t believe your company would be so stingy, would they? Getting fired for charging your power bank at work?? If there is such a rule then I don’t think the company itself is very upright. You know those very large power banks, and when you get home instead of using the home lights you can use lights that are usb powered and save on electricity. In the summer, you can use the usb fans and save electricity that way. In the daytime you can charge up your power banks at work and voila! I’m sure you can save 20-30RMB on electricity, which you can these use to buy membership for various streaming platforms. C: But the power banks themselves cost money. LYN: But when you buy one it can last you three to five years! The only thing to be afraid of when you have a power bank is to not use it. These things need to be in constant use, so that they can last longer.

C: I’m a student, where should I charge... LYN: Oh, you’re a student... well don’t you have family? Do your mom and dad go to work? XD Ask them to bring it to work and charge it for you. LYN: I never charge my phone at home. I’ll wake up and get into hair and makeup and borrow the teacher’s charger. I’ll take my power bank and phone to the dressing room and charge them there. After two hours when I’m done, my phone is just about charged, too. I bring my ipad, phone, and power bank there to charge and I can use it the whole day. The next day I do the same thing all over again. That’s why I like acting so much- because there’s a place I can charge my appliances. XD Because the dressing room is in a hotel, so it’s convenient to charge. Now I have an electric wheelchair- I’ll charge that in the dressing room, too. You want me to charge that thing at home? No way, how much would that cost?? So in the morning I take the battery to go charge and then use it on my way out. If you see the reuters tomorrow and I’m holding the battery, that’s what I’m doing with it. I’ll charge it and then use it on my way to the airport, to Macau. LYN: Anyway, I just wanted to tell you to save a little money, so that you can pay for membership to support me a little when my dramas air.

C: What about the refrigerator? LYN: The refrigerator? The fridge is just sitting there. In my house a fridge is not a necessity, because it’s empty. At most there’ll be a couple of drinks in there. I don’t normally cook at home, anyway so there’s no groceries. It’s just there for show. Because it’s winter and Hengdian is cold, I just put my drinks outside the window. I have a little window box, and I’ll put my drinks there. If I want something, it’ll be cold. Everyone does that, don’t they? C: What about behind you. (the thing that looks like a speaker is a fridge) LYN: It’s not plugged in. It’s just there for props. One of my friends gave it to me for my birthday. It’s not plugged in, really. If it were, the light would be on. It’s really cold in Hengdian, right now. When I wake up in the morning and turn on the tap there’s no hot water. The hot water heater is outside; it’s already frozen, so how cold do you think it is outside?? Usually when I go out to eat with friends and have leftovers, I leave them outside and just heat them up again in the morning. LYN: Sometimes when I get up in the morning to brush and wash up, there’s no water because the pipes have frozen. Then what do I do? Go to the dressing room and wash up. :) I even save on water. When I wake up and find that I have no water I’m happy- because that means I save on the water bill. I’ll take my toiletries and go to the hotel dressing room. I can save on water and electricity. That’s how money is made. C: What about a shower? LYN: A shower? The bathrooms in hotels are all the kind that can rain on you. Not only that, but there are free slippers.

LYN: If I keep going on like this, you’re really going to take it seriously. I’m going to be labelled as a thrifty person. There’s no need for that. We only got here because I just wanted you to save a little money so that you can buy a membership and watch my dramas...

C: Ning-ge, if you keep talking they’re not even going to let you take bottled water anymore. LYN: It’s not worth it. It’s not like I’m taking two bottles worth of water home every day, I’m not. I didn’t say I was taking two one-gallon jugs and filling them up with water to take home and use. I didn’t say I was doing that, did I?! A hotel is sort of like a buffet- you can eat as much as you want there, but you can’t take anything to-go. The hotel is the same- you can use as much water as you want but you can’t take water to-go with you. C: But that means you’ve thought about it? LYN: Who hasn’t? I’m sure many people have thought of it, it’s just a matter of thought vs. action. I, for one, have never acted upon it, but I HAVE thought about it. Is that wrong??

C: Have you taken any toilet paper to-go? LYN: LOL. Don’t say any nonsense. If one day it gets out that “LYN goes to the hotel to steal toilet paper” then that would totally ruin my reputation. It’s acceptable to go to the hotel and brush my teeth or wash my face, that’s fine. But if I go to the hotel and steal toilet paper, then there’s no way to explain why way out of that. That’s not a matter of being thrifty, that’s a matter of poor character. LYN: If we’re going by that logic, the every hotel room has a tv- why don’t I move it to my house to watch? I’ll take it from the dressing room to watch tv at home and when I’m done with it I’ll take it back and hang it back up?? What is that?? I’d have to be crazy. // That doesn’t count as take-away, that counts as stealing. That’s no good. Who would do that?

C: Ning-ge, when I go to hotels I take the batteries out of the AC remote. LYN: >.< If you keep doing that, I’ll report it to the police. You go to hotels and take the batteries from the remote control?? Are you human?! If you keep doing that, I’ll report you. This isn’t being thrifty, this is borderline committing crimes. You’ve confessed, here in my stream. That you steal batteries. Stealing batteries is equivalent to stealing electronics. Watch yourself. You’ve just self-confessed.

LYN: Anyway, the thing I was saying before, about the five power banks- you should believe only 20% of that conversation. And by “20%” I mean... take only one power bank. XD

C: I feel like Ning-ge’s hair is fake. LYN: ?_? What do you mean? Are you saying that my hair is fake? LYN: Please download an anti-scamming app to your phone. Alright? The type of person who said they think my hair is fake.. is exactly the type of person that scammers are looking to target. Watch out for yourself. Download an anti-scamming app. Friends, take care of each other, too. Those are the exact type of people scammers are looking to target.

C: Ning-ge, which broadcast station will you go to for New Year’s? LYN: Could you monitor my weibo, friends? A lot of you may be passing by and are not my fans- you can subscribe to my weibo and I will stream when I’ve got nothing going on. Next year when the drama wraps up I will probably try to go to Disney and stream. I can take you around to play and show you around. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do so. LYN: The person who just asked which station I will go to must not be my fan, but a curious onlooker, is that right? My fans generally know where I’ll be for the new year, because it’s already been announced. I’ll be at Jiangsu Satellite TV.

C: Will you go to Disney in the wheelchair? LYN: I’ll wait for my foot to get better, first. C: Disney’s just a pie in the sky. LYN: You think I’m lying? I’ll really go. I already said I would go, last year. But this year I was stuck in the crew. Next year if I have time I will definitely make a trip of it. If I say I’ll do something, I’ll pretty much get it done. Pretty much. C: I can’t fit any more into my fridge. LYN: My fridge is empty. If you can’t fit anymore, send the pies to my house. I’ll store them for you.

C: Abs? LYN: I really was planning on showing you my abs. But I didn’t think that I would be so busy with this drama. You can tell from the amount of time I’ve streamed- this drama has been keeping me busy. When I get home I’m already bone-tired, not to mention the fact that I’ve hurt my foot. When I was with the BYOL crew I was able to keep up with my workout for two months, but after I entered this crew I got skinny again. All I’ve got is bones. There are some people out there commenting on my physique as well, saying, “Look at how fat he is!” They say I’m fat. :’) If I take my clothes off right now I’d just be a skeleton, I could scare you to death. You’re still calling me fat?? I’m 1.9m tall and only 130+ lbs. Am I fat? // Don’t worry though. When my foot’s better I’ll really try to work out again. LYN: It just so happened that I started, because maybe my later dramas would need me to look a little more sturdy/strong. I started with my chest. The next day was my back. On the third day when I was supposed to work on my shoulders, I broke my foot. It’s just that much of a coincidence. LYN: I was planning on showing you some abs at the end of the year, but I injured myself and couldn’t work out anymore. I’m sorry everyone. How about the end of next year? I’ll show you at the end of 2023. Let’s all live healthily, my friends. Live until... the day you can finally see my abs.

C: Is your next drama confirmed yet? LYN: My next drama... what’s it to you? Why are you asking? LYN: If it’s confirmed, then it will be announced, there’s no need to come and ask me about it. LYN: Honestly, though when I was taking second, third, or even fourth male lead roles people were okay with it. But now that they’re hearing that I am considering lead role options they are unable to accept it. While people can’t accept me, let me lie low. I’ll just do my work, and try not to be an eyesore. You don’t need to go out and praise me, either. Let me lie low. I’ve not been acknowledged by many people in this industry yet, because the truth is that I don’t have many works out. I have nothing to show for myself. In 2022 I quietly filmed three dramas, I didn’t even step away for a music performance. At this point in time, continue to let me lie low, don’t go around praising me. Later when my works air and people start to acknowledge me- or even if they don’t, I’ll still have more coming. If they don’t acknowledge me for one, if I release ten then at least one of them has got to gain me some recognition. It doesn’t matter, we’ll wait. As long as I have work to do, I’ll continue to do it quietly. Remember, let’s lie low. LYN: Because if you become too famous too fast you’re likely to receive lots of hate. So I just want to do my own work and be done with it. When I have time I’ll come to stream for you and we can chat happily. If you like watching my stream, even if you aren’t my fan, you can still listen to me chat and relax. It’s nice that way, isn’t it? You can subscribe to my weibo, if you’d like. XD Treat it as making a friend. So when you go out, please keep it on the down low. LYN: Now that I’ve started to take on more important roles, there’s always that group of people that are unable to accept me. It’s alright. One day, they will. When I first started out in this industry and told everyone I wanted to be a singer- at that time didn’t they also not accept me? I went on some shows and they said, “What singer? You’re just an internet famous person. You sing on the side of the street, what right do you have to call yourself a singer?” But it’s been four years since then and I think the title of “singer” is applicable to me now, right? When I first started out there was a group of people who said I didn’t deserve it. Those same people, now that I am starting to act, are asking me what I’m doing and, am I not a singer? Isn’t it strange? It’s all like this. When I wanted to be a singer they said I was just an internet famous star and that I wouldn’t get anywhere. When I wanted to be an actor, they said I was a singer and asked me what I was doing trying to act? Later when I want to be a host, they’ll say I’m just a singer and an actor and what more do I want?? LYN: So while I have’t yet found solid ground as an actor, I’ll just continue to take my own work seriously. I don’t need to make trouble for myself. I just want to fly under the radar. C: So you’re next target is as a host/mc? LYN: No, no. I was just joking. Just randomly saying it, as an example. I’m just going to stick with what I have now and I think that having work is enough. I’d be crazy to think of doing something else now. I just want my feet on solid ground, taking one step at a time. I wont’t think of anything too far in the future.

C: Will there be a variety show next year? LYN: There’ll be one, I’m already confirmed for. Well- it’s not confirmed, they just let us know about it already. As for the details, it changes every day. It’s hard to say exactly what it will be, in such a competitive industry. But there should be one next year. I try to plan for at least one. One or two variety shows and I give the rest of my time to the drama crew. Sometimes I’ll come out for events. That’s my yearly plan for now. Also if there are OSTs, then I accept as many as I can. I recorded two more these past few days and I still owe three. LYN: As for what variety show it is, exactly, I can’t say. I’ll tell you later. It’s nice. I’m sure you’ll enjoy watching it.

C: Ning-ge, if you can see my words then make a “v”.

LYN: I saw it. Are we sending each other secret signals, now?

C: Ning-ge, when will you stop streaming? LYN: What do you care? I’ll tell you when I’ll stop. Are you sleepy? If you are, you can go rest. I’ll be... stopping soon. Let me use the restroom and I’ll come back and stream for a little longer.

-- break #2

LYN: Let’s sing a few songs! Today, I’ll bring to you that one... that... what’s it called? Let me find it.. this one! // A very sweet song, for you all. -- Wujiapo LYN: I think I sang it a little better than the last time, right? :D It seems like I’m more familiar with it now. But I’m still not very good at this type of song, you can just listen to it for entertainment and nothing more. C: Ning-ge, I can sing this now too. LYN: Amazing! See? You can learn things in my streams.

C: Ning-ge, sing some rock. LYN: This friend really understands me. Because at my core I’m made for rock. Then, let’s sing some rock for you. A very “rock”y song... C: What about on the outside? LYN: On the outside I’m a “handsome boy”. The more a person lacks something, the more they want to highlight it. - /thinking.... /barks// -- 烟火星辰 (Fireworks of Stars) [LYN: This can’t be more “rock”.] LYN: How is it? Rock enough? The thing is I didn’t sing it with enough rock attitude. This time I’ll sing it more rock-style. What is rock? It’s like /does the heavy metal screaming/. I’ll sing this same song with a rock-style. -- 烟火星辰 (Fireworks of Stars) [rock ver.] LYN: Oh, it’s not suitable for rock. Not all songs are suited. This one.. doesn’t work. Sorry. This isn’t a rock song. I misunderstood it. I’m sorry. C: Ruining your own song... LYN: It’s not worth it.

LYN: Let’s do a rock song. - /typing... typing/ LYN: This song is very rock. But I’ve turned off the lyrics, because I can’t let you know what I’m going to sing. Let’s go. -- 不染 (Unsullied) [Mao Buyi, Ashes of Love OST] LYN: Oh, the lyrics are on. /turns them off/ LYN: This isn’t rock. Why don’t you think of a rock song for me and I’ll sing it and be done. C: This is the first time knowing that “Unsullied” was a rock song. LYN: I already said, you can use rock-style to sing it. I’ll do it again, and you’ll know. -- 不染 (Unsullied) [rock ver.] LYN: It doesn’t work, either. D:

LYN: Does the “Poem of Liangzhou” count as rock? [t/n: yeah.]

LYN: Does this count? // There’s one thing missing that makes it rock or not. /grabs his guitar/ -- 爱人错过 (Somewhere in Time) [Accusefive] - /the accompaniment was a little messy and it was in the female key, hard for him to sing; so he stopped/

LYN: What else is there? C: 你要跳舞吗 (Would You Like to Dance?) LYN: Oh, this song is too good. Let’s go, everybody!! -- 你要跳舞吗 (Would You Like to Dance?) LYN: I’m tired. :( Those who play rock music all have good stamina. I can’t- C: Ning-ge, usually when they sing and get hyped up they’ll smash the guitar. LYN: /pretends to smash it/ No, this was too expensive. Let’s pass. Usually when they want to smash a guitar, they’ll have an assistant bring out a cheaper one and smash that.

-- 夜猫 - /abort/ LYN: I’m not familiar with this accompaniment.

C: Qilin. LYN: You want to tire me to death, don’t you? I can’t really sing it... /does anyway/ Maybe I shouldn’t. If I sing this I just might pass. Let me drink some water. -- 麒麟 (Qilin) [Zhao An, Rap of China] LYN: Oh? What’s wrong. Why is my video gone? It’s lagged, why? Because I’m too loud? It’s fine now, right? Is it alright now? I guess I was too loud earlier, excuse me. LYN: Friends, you may not know, but I’m also a rapper. It got to my head. All of a sudden. Let me rap again for you. /huffs/ Rappers need even more stamina. I sang so hard my face is red and my neck is thick. I’m also a rapper, friends. - /Ning-ge’s inner rapper comes out by show of hand gestures/ LYN: /sigh/ I’m so tired.

LYN: /finds a song/ This one, I think I know a little bit. Take a listen, friends. Even though it’s old, this is more suited to me. LYN: Where’d my phone go?? Oh, here it is. I need it to get in the right mood. -- 野狼Disco LYN: I’m a rapper, too, friends.

LYN: Alright, it’s about time. I’m very tired now. LYN: I need to hurry up and get ready for bed- I need to get up at 5am for hair and makeup. Thank you to all my good friends who have spent these two + hours with me tonight. Thank you for keeping me company. If this is your first time watching my stream and you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do. It will notify you the next time I stream. I normally stream only at least once or twice a week. If you’re not busy you can come see me. I thank you for your company and support tonight. Uh... I’m a little tired. But it’s alright. It’s good to sweat and later I can have a good bath. LYN: I hope you had a wonderful and relaxing night. It was great to have you and I hope you enjoyed it. Let’s meet in the next stream, friends. Good night!

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(2:34:43)#new year new music #hilariously teaching fans how to be thrifty #just let him lie low!#tried to 'rock'ify some songs.. will little success

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sugarspundream · 2 years

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Roleplay Ad: Seeking a Sebastian Michealis For An Adult Ciel Muse

I’ve been wanting to rewrite Black Butler for a long time. I’ve tried it before in a few varying forms, and found what I really want to do is rebuild a new story from the beginning and start gradually exploring the relationship of these two characters as adults.

I have some more stable ideas about where to go and what I want, but first I’m gonna ramble about some of my characterization of Ciel as an adult man.

Ciel is a morally grey character, but I think one of the big reasons he is ultimately sympathetic is his youth. There’s a lot of other aspects of his character that have a similar effect, but I think this is a really big one. It’s fairly easy to forgive a kid for being belligerent on occasion, but it’s lot harder to forgive someone who should’ve aged out of their bad behaviors. It takes away some of the grace other people might have extended to him for being a brat.

Because of this, I think aging him up makes room for different issues and has the potential to highlight interesting things in his character. Things like wrath, greed, impatience, and impishness can be excused away with youth and inexperience, while an adult might have more complex reasons for doing what they do. Perhaps Ciel is controlling of his staff and environment because of the way his autonomy was previously stripped from him— he wants to be able to manipulate everything and everyone around him to take away the fear of unpredictability. Or maybe he’s greedy because Ciel knows he has a short time to live, so he’s going to try to eat every sweet, amass all the money and power he can, and drink until there’s nothing left in the cellar. Not that children can’t have interesting reasons for being wretched, I just think that these things are like fine wines, they get better with age.

I’d also love to introduce some more mature themes into our roleplay that I just wouldn’t be comfortable writing Ciel as a kid. I was a little disappointed that the series would sometimes skirt around how re-traumatizing close shaves with kidnapping, violence, and sex-trafficking would be (like… the dude almost got sold off by Viscount Druitt pretty early in the series, and although Ciel was never in any real danger to begin with— post traumatic stress makes trying to ‘facts and logic’ your way out of a panic attack damn near impossible. Let’s see the aftermath of that!) And if you’re interested, I think it would also be interesting to delve into harder themes like alcoholism and toxic relationships.

While Sebastian is generally a passive observer of Ciel in the anime and manga up until the point he’s driven to action, I’d love a more involved Sebastian! Someone who actively fosters the ugly parts of Ciel just to see if he can successfully corrupt him, and/or who perhaps sometimes gets a little too wrapped up in Ciel’s mind games long enough to become truly irritated by him. Or maybe you’d like to play a Sebastian who maybe values Ciel’s satisfaction with his skills a little too much, and therefore is agitated when Ciel’s impossibly high standards aren’t quite met. That being said, I don’t want to be controlling of your characterization whatsoever, so if you have any other specifics you’d like to incorporate please let me know! I also just love hearing people talk about how they play their favorite characters, so lay it on me if you feel comfortable.

Because I adore mutual destruction and the like, so I’d like to make these two equally as manipulative and destructive for each other. Ciel being a kiddo gives them a more obvious power imbalance, but I think an older Ciel might be sly enough to really get under Sebastian’s skin good and proper…and I could definitely imagine him turning around and weaponizing his demon’s irritation on other people! Another possible example: Sebastian lagging a little longer in moments of fear and danger just to relish seeing his future meal flounder, and then Ciel ends up being all the more grateful and dependent on him when his demon finally comes to the rescue.

Their relationship dynamics are already so interesting, I just want to crank them up to ten and make things more potentially volatile.

When it comes to nsfw content though, I want to crystal clear that I plan for this to be slow burn if you’d like to incorporate romantic/sexual tension in their relationship. Ciel is technically a CSA victim, and I want to honor that. Especially with his already rampant sexualization at the ripe age of twelve, jumping directly into explicit content is not very intriguing to me even when writing him as an adult. So if nsfw is your main drive for writing, I’m not the partner for you. I’m definitely not opposed to writing in sexual tension and explicit situations down the line, but sex would not be the main focus to their relationship. If it does become a more relevant theme later that’s fine, but it’s off the table at the beginning, and I’m very firm on that.

Generally I prefer semi-lit or lit partners with 3-10 paragraph responses, but I’m fairly flexible.

Now then, if you’d like to get started with me, please drop by and say hello! My discord is scoutlegionchild#6878.

#black butler #black butler rp #roleplay partner ad #kuroshitsuji rp #seeking roleplay partner

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sheepishfreeloader · 1 year

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Roomies make tons of leftovers they never eat and buy fruits and cut veggies they also don’t eat which rot in the fridge

It’s all their food but they made it so it’s my partners “chore” to deal with their leftovers even though it’s literally all theirs

I try and discuss how maybe they can just do it since it’s all their food and we already take care of our own leftovers, I don’t see why we have to do theirs too since we make so little and they make so much

Instead of a waiting for a normal discussion after work, the one roomie who doesn’t work decides to get up early and stomp downstairs and slam doors and slam the garbage lid tossing out her and her partners nasty leftovers 😑

Girl no one told you you had to get up at 8am to stomp your butt downstairs and clean. We were literally just discussing changing the chore because it’s not working and our cooking situation changed earlier this year. If you wanna be mad be mad, it’s your own problem. Your going on your second vacation this year that your partner is 100% paying for and driving you to. Get over it. It’s a chore you should have been doing anyway instead of shoving it off on my partner 😑

I’ve been doing great this year not letting her bad attitude, inability to small talk normally with friends, and general crabbiness not get me too worked up like it did all the time last year. Pretending she doesn’t exist usually helps lmao, and since she pretty much just lives in the living room watching TV all day and we stopped eating her cooking several months ago she usually just blends in like she’s barely there. But god dang. Stomping and slamming shit like a child when someone asks her to take care of her rotten food? Incomprehensible. But I need to remember most of the time anger isn’t about you, it’s about things they’re going through being misdirected. My request and discussion is reasonable, but her explosive reaction is due to stress from her mother, having to pack, and doctors appointments, and doesn’t make what I asked any less normal. It’s a her problem.

“Can you take care of your rotten food, and maybe discuss changing the chore because you make a ton of leftovers and shouldn’t expect my fiancé to take care of our food AND your food” is NOT unreasonable. Her anger is not my problem. It is not my issue. I don’t have to let her emotional issues bleed into me or keep me from my own peace of mind.

If she wants to push off all the major chores on her already overworked husband, fine. They can suffer together.

If she wants to sit on the couch and binge watch TV and movies for 8 hours straight everyday in a windowless room, fine. She can let her brain rot and it’s not my business.

If she wants to make necklaces and clothes that she shows nobody but my fiancé and which sit in an already bursting closet because she doesn’t go anywhere, fine. It’s her husband’s money and his side of the closet thats bursting with her shit, and he doesn’t care.

If she wants to avoid all social contact with people and old friends in a discord because she didn’t get a joke 1 time and so “the server just isn’t for her,” fine. She can sit alone in her windowless room and forget how to talk like a normal human being, that's her prerogative.

I’m doing really well this year and she continues to flounder in her own pity. She used to be a great friend, I still lament our dead relationship where we would go to the store together and have really good long talks, back when she used to say she really admired and looked up to me.

And I know this all started when her father passed away nearly two years ago, but does that make her treatment of us any better? Does that make her continued disregard for her future self any healthier? Grief can really destroy a person. But no matter how much empathy or patience we’ve given her she continues to be this stubborn mass of nothingness. Either blending into the couch or exploding when push comes to shove because she’s gotten so out of practice with the world that she can barely function. But we are not therapists, and being her friend has also not helped her, so there’s nothing to do but prioritize ourselves now. We can’t stop our own lives for hers, even if we care… we cannot be doormats.

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shreddedparchment · 3 years

Text

A Wife for Thor Pt.19

The True Heir

03/09/2021

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader Word Count: 5,781

Warnings: angst, depression, pregnancy, marital troubles, pining

A/N: There is very little editing. Forgive me. I’m sleepy. I’ve been up writing all night. I’ve also been hurting, but it’s all good! I’m so happy to get this chapter out. *insert evil laugh* If you happen to reblog, thank you so much for helping me spread my work! it truly means so much, more than you know. xoxo

Sunday

Today you do nothing.

You’d opened up your laptop last night and attempted to scribble a few lines for your next book, but all you could think about was Thor, Jane, the babies to come, and where exactly you fit amongst all of it.

After typing Thor’s name along with a few other random words for the tenth time, you gave up and shut the laptop. You’d crawled into bed, bundled up under your fluffy comforter, and bid goodbye to the world as you caved in to unconsciousness.

The fact that morning is here, you find that your hope for today to be better than yesterday was silly. How can anything ever be good again?

You place your hands on your lower tummy, caressing what feels like a very slight swell. It’s just barely harder than the rest of your stomach. Firm. Despite the happiness that your baby brings you, you stare across the room at your computer and can’t find it in you to get up and work.

Instead you roll over onto your other side and pull Thor’s--that is to say, the one he’d used while he was here--pillow over to cling to.

Thor’s texts are also still fresh in your mind.

Sleep didn’t dull their effect on you or the confusion they raised.

Did they mean that he wouldn’t get an annulment? That’s sorta what you were getting from them. His declarations that he couldn’t live without you and that he would die for you and that he missed you so much at his side sounded like he was also telling himself how he felt. As if he were, not so much convincing, but reaffirming what he already knew.

You reach over and switch your phone on, clicking through to your messages to find that Thor must have stolen his phone back from Loki at some point.

Thor: Good morning, my cherub. I hope you slept well.

Thor: I could hardly sleep with you absent beside me.

Thor: Our bed is too big without you in it.

Thor: Have you seen the doctor yet? You’ll text me as soon as you get a diagnosis, won’t you? I’ll be waiting.

Thor: Loki insists that I give you some distance to rest but being apart from you is torture.

Thor: Would you be very angry with me if I came to see you?

Thor: I have some things I must deal with here before I can go though. Loki is right. I should allow you rest and fix things here before I come to you.

Thor: Are you still sleeping, cherub? I’m sorry if my messages are disturbing you. I haven’t gone this long without talking to you since...I wish I’d met you years ago. When things weren’t so complicated.

Thor: Would you have let me court you even though I am the God of Thunder? Future King of Asgard? Would you have married me when I came back with my people to live here on Earth?

Thor: I think if I had to choose all over again, you’re still the only woman equal to the task of being my Queen.

Thor: And the love that has grown between us is...I will never take it for granted…

As you read that last message, you assume he wants to say he won’t take it for granted again. He’s already let it slip through his fingers, although he doesn’t know it yet.

Thor: Perhaps this can be that break you were talking of. For our baby? Maybe we do need a little bit of relaxation to let our bodies recover?

Thor: And yet, I can’t wait to start a family with you, cherub.

You’re bawling all over again, your eyes flooding with tears as you bury your face into his pillow and sob loudly.

He’d said that he missed your body next to his. You can relate. You want to feel the heavy fall of his chest, the deep breaths that fill his lungs and escape through his lips in a quiet little snore that always makes you cuddle into his side.

Normally, he’d respond by turning to face you and holding you right up against his chest.

The comfort that simple thing would give you right now when your heart is aching so painfully is what you so desperately need. But...you’re so angry too. You don’t want him near you.

The images that flood your mind are torture. Mixtures of pleasant, happy moments now marred by the betrayal and anger that has taken hold of your heart.

You bury your face into the pillow and scream until your throat really does go hoarse. Frustration at the force of change you’ve had to make in the past twenty-four hours.

You’re startled back to the present when your phone rings. You make a small attempt to clear your throat then answer and the absolute gravel voice you use settles any wondering as to whether your illness is real.

“Hello?” you whisper, clearing your throat to no avail.

“Oh, cherub, you sound terrible.”

Your heart panics. How are you supposed to talk to him?

You don’t want to talk to him.

“I can’t really talk,” you say weakly hoping he’ll take the hint.

“Did the doctor see you already?” Thor asks, his worry evident in the quiet tone of his voice.

“Yes, he gave me some medicine and told me to try not to talk,” you lie, surprisingly easy right now since you don’t want to talk.

For your emotional sanity, you need to hang up soon.

“I’m so sorry, love. I wish I could take this illness from you. Where’s David? I’d like to talk to him.”

You panic again, floundering as you cough and clear your throat to buy some time.

“He’s not here. He went to the store to get some groceries,” you hope he buys it.

“I’ll call him a little later then. If you need anything, let me know. I’ll get it for you.”

“Thanks, Thor,” you mumble, suddenly not wanting to hang up.

How can one person give you so much ease and worry all at once? How can he be your source of agony and comfort at the same time? It’s not fair.

“I have so much to tell you, but...now is not the right time. You need to get better first.”

Nevermind! Fuck this guy. Your heart sinks.

“I have to go,” you tell him, hoping he’ll just hang up and leave you be now.

“Very well. I love you, cherub.”

How do you answer him without giving anything away just yet?

“Me too,” you choose. And it’s true.

Even if he’s torn your heart into pieces, he’s still the father of your baby and you still love him.

Whatever madness overcame him when he’d suggested to Loki getting an annulment was the best course of action seems to have passed. Loki must be right about him.

“Bye, Thor,” you whimper.

“Bye, Y/N,” he says your name, making your heart quake a bit.

You hang up and quickly dial up David.

He answers after two rings.

“Hello? How is my favorite girl in the whole wide world?”

He sounds amused by something, or just happy. It’s such a difference to how you feel at the moment that it breaks you and you sob again, renewing your tears.

“Y/N? What’s the matter?” David demands, clearly now beginning to fret over the way you sound.

You tell him everything. Somehow you manage to get it all out minus one important detail and when you’re done recounting the most horrible night of your life, David sighs heavily and you can almost picture him settling into a deep armchair with massive worry weighing on his shoulders.

“Well, the good thing is, if he goes through with an annulment, you’re to be given a monthly allowance for the rest of your life. It was a condition in your contract, should Thor change his mind about marrying you. But he didn’t so it was moot, until now. You will be a very rich woman. More so than the small fortune you originally inherited.

“I know that money is hardly a consolation for the man that you love-” David sighs again. “Perhaps he said it in madness? He must have been very upset. Caught by surprise?” David offers.

“Even if he doesn’t mean it or doesn’t go through with it, I know that for you the point is the thought was there.

“However, I do think we must make allowances for Thor. I’m sorry to say. He is a king and he’s responsible for his entire people. A baby would give them security. Stability. A legitimate heir would tie them to Earth forever.

“We musn’t make light of his choices. This isn’t a common situation to find one’s self in. For either of you.”

“David, I’m pregnant.” You finally explain, knowing that it will maybe just show him a little bit more of what you’re facing. “I went to tell Thor and that’s when I overheard them.”

For a moment he’s speechless. When he speaks again, his voice is heightened.

“Congratulations! I-I knew it would happen eventually. The timing is a little-”

“I haven’t told him yet, clearly.”

Silence again. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I was so happy when I went to tell him and then I heard their conversation and I-I just can’t find the strength to do it right now. Not until I know whether he wants the annulment.”

David breathes in deeply and then exhales slowly into the phone. His breath is light and soft.

“You’re afraid that he will only stay with you because of the child,” a statement.

David knows you better than anyone else in your life. It’s not surprising that he’d make the leap so quickly.

“He’s willing to leave me and marry Jane because of her baby. It’s possible that he’ll stay by my side only because of our baby and I’d rather he do what’s best for our people than to stay with me because of a sense of obligation.”

“It could be that Jane will not want him. She might keep her child away from the Asgardian royal court. Didn’t she refuse to marry him because she didn’t want to be Queen?” David’s voice is pensive. “This might all feel much larger than it is. I suggest you take some time to really think through your actions before making any decisions.”

“I’m not going to never tell him, David. He’s the father of my child. He has to know that he has two and not just the one. I don’t think I could do that to him. I could never keep him from his children.

“Either of them.”

“You are magnanimous, Y/N. More than even I thought you were capable of.”

“Bullshit. I ran away and am refusing to see him until I get my week of space,” you nod firmly. “But David-?”

“Tell me,” he urges you, recognizing your tone of anguish.

“I-I know that I accepted this marriage hesitantly. It wasn’t like I asked for it and you know how I felt before Thor asked me to marry him. You know how s-scared I was about marrying someone who was in love with someone else, and now...now he’s-”

“He’s married to you, Y/N. Not Ms. Foster. And from what I have been able to see, he does love you. Not Jane. This is a temporary setback. If you’re angry at him, be angry at him. Don’t pretend you aren’t. If you’re hurt, show it. Wear your heart on your sleeve.

“Loving someone is one of life’s greatest blessings. Sometimes that love doesn’t last, sometimes it takes a beating. But you must choose whether your love is worth fighting for.

“You’ve also got obligations that you cannot escape from. Duties to your people as their Queen.”

“Assuming Thor doesn’t leave me and take my crown,” you scoff.

“I’m with your brother-in-law. I don’t think it will come to that. I think Thor was a little shocked and thrown by Ms. Foster’s news. Now that he has had some time to think, I believe he’ll do right by you and when you tell him, your child.”

“I won’t tell him until he makes up his mind,” you insist.

“That is your prerogative. Do what you need to. What can I do to help? What do you need from me?”

“Just be prepared for any eventuality. I’m not sure what’s going to happen at the end of this week. Oh, and if Thor calls you--just make something up and tell me what you say. He thinks you drove me from the airport and have been staying with me.”

“Using me as your alibi so that your husband won’t come looking for you,” David clicks his tongue. “How much detail shall I give him?”

“You’ve got a job too, just tell him you’re coming and going. Tony had his staff install some security on the house after the honeymoon. I’m safe here. He’ll believe that I’m safe if that’s all you say.

“Anyway, I need to go. I have two more calls to make before I can relax and enjoy my break from the throne.”

“If you need anything, you know how to reach me. Anything, Y/N. I mean it.”

“Thanks, David. I can always count on you,” you smile.

Just a tiny one. A very subtle curve at the corners of your lips.

“Well, you do pay me,” he jokes, which actually pulls a small laugh from you.

“Right. Bye, David.”

“Goodbye, Your Majesty.”

You take only a minute to think about your conversation with David before you make the most important calls of your week in solitude.

The first one is simple. Just a reminder of doctor-patient confidentiality. He understands what you’re saying even if he doesn’t practice by that mentality.

Dr. Wilson’s phone call is more difficult. She wants an explanation. She wants to know why she’s not allowed to tell your husband, the King of New Asgard, that he’s finally got what you and he have been wanting.

An heir!

It’s painful to talk about but you tell her what’s happened. You tell her that Thor doesn’t know that you know about Jane’s baby.

She’s very quiet as you talk. She assumes things and you can hear her anger when she starts to ask for what she can tell Thor.

“He didn’t cheat on me, Dr. Wilson,” you explain, hoping that this will ease her anger.

You’re angry at Thor because of the annulment, not because he and Jane have created a life from their love. You’re hurt because he’s willing or was willing--you’re not sure yet--to leave you to be with Jane, even if not for love but for the baby growing within her.

You’re hurt because the man you love was choosing his duty over his feelings for you.

Even though you know that he’s right to do it. Even though you know that you should understand because he’s King and you also took an oath to put the people of New Asgard first.

It’s your duty to put their well-being before your own. That doesn’t mean you have to like it.

In Thor’s mind, his only duty is to his child. Jane’s child. He doesn’t know you’re carrying one of your own yet. Even though that would probably make sure that he stays with you because of the baby, you don’t want that to be the reason he stays.

Proud fool.

“Thor slept with Jane the same night he proposed to me. This was before we loved each other, when leaving Jane was the hardest thing he’d had to do. I don’t hold that against him.”

You don’t tell her about the annulment. She doesn’t need to know how messy this all is.

“He’ll probably call for you and Dr. Alric soon. Loki suggested they get Jane checked so act surprised? But please don’t tell him I’m pregnant. Not yet. He’s coming to see me at the end of the week and I’ll tell him myself then. Please?” And it really is a genuine plea.

“I’ll do whatever you need, Your Majesty. I would like to come and check on you. You don’t sound well.”

She’s very sweet and her concern is touching.

“Thor will probably send you to me eventually. He’s worried but he’s clearly got other things on his mind.”

“I’ll make arrangements to head over there tomorrow. Oh, can you hold for one minute Your Majesty? I’m so sorry.”

“Of course.”

There’s silence on the phone for a few minutes before she comes back.

“It was His Majesty. He’s told me about Jane but she’s not available for an examination until later in the week. So, he’s asked me to come to you first. I’ll be there tonight.”

For some reason, the idea of having her with you eases some of the stress you’ve been carrying with you since yesterday.

“I’ll call and have a car sent for you.”

“Actually, His Majesty has promised to bring me straight to you via bifrost.”

“Wait, what?” You sit up in bed, clutching your blanket to your chest as your nerves suddenly fray and panic begins to build up within you.

“Should I come by plane?” She asks, worried by the sound of your voice.

You can’t see Thor. No. You can’t.

“No. I’ll just be going out later tonight to pick up a few things that I need here at the house. Toilet paper, napkins, laundry soap. I just didn’t want you to get here when I was out, but I’ll text you the passcode to get in.”

You’ll just have to make sure that you’re not at home when they come. That’s what you’ll do. This is a perfect excuse to be out since you need to get the stuff you listed anyway.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t just like me to come by plane?”

“No, really. The sooner you get here, the better. The car ride is so long from the airport. I’ll see you tonight, Dr. Wilson.”

“Bye, Your Majesty.”

Even though you know that you have hours upon hours until Thor brings Dr. Wilson here, you force yourself out of bed and abandon your plans to wallow in your feelings so that you can shower, get dressed, and leave the house.

If Thor’s coming, you’re going to be as far away from your house as you can be. You’re not ready to see him again just yet. You only have small errands to run but you’re gonna stay out all damn day if it’s the last thing you do.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday

Thor is at a loss. Completely and utterly lost without you.

If he was ever in doubt as to how he really felt about you--which he never has been because he knows himself well enough to know better--he knows now that you are the light of his new life here on Earth.

His reign would mean significantly less without you at his side.

Even though the time you’ve spent together has been a short few months, they have been the best months of his life.

If he’d had one of those other women he’d interviewed become his Queen, this life he’s chosen to lead would have felt empty and tedious. Instead of watching his Queen spend her time with his people leading the way in progress.

You’re so eager to be part of the Asgardian populace. They’ve embraced you so fully.

With a sigh, Thor leans forward and buries his face into his hands as he mentally trashes himself for the absolute fool that he’s been about this entire situation.

The fact that he’d even entertained the thought of leaving you.

He wants to cry and tear his hair out in frustration.

Should he tell you that the thought was weighed along with many others at Jane’s news?

And Jane.

Thor groans.

She’s been avoiding him since she told him. He can’t exactly blame her for it. He hadn’t exactly taken the news well.

He had no reason to expect her to be receptive to him after he’d basically accused her of being confused about it. She knew her own body. If she said she was pregnant, what reason would he have to doubt her?

He’s messed everything up so much and he’s terrified to tell you about Jane.

What if you have the same idea he did? What if you decide to leave him in some foolish attempt to have him marry her and legitimize his future child?

It’s something you would do. Sacrifice yourself so that he could do the right thing.

The thought of living this life of rule without you at his side is unbearable.

With another frustrated groan, he gets up and moves to pace the length of the room, ignoring the large pile of paperwork on his desk as his mind moves in circles.

It always comes back to you.

And then you’d been out when he’d gone to drop off Dr. Wilson. He hadn’t expected you to be gone. He’d wanted to see you. To hold you. Touch you. Hear your voice after so much turmoil.

You are his only solace.

Going so close to you and not seeing you has left him with a terrible pain in his chest.

His phone rings.

Thor dives for his phone and fumbles with it as he grabs it off the bed. He almost loses it over the opposite edge.

He literally throws himself towards it and lands with a grunt onto the bed as he catches it.

He presses the button on the screen without looking to see who it is because he only wants it to be you.

“Cherub?” he gasps, his voice an octave higher than normal with the little bit of exertion he just underwent.

“Oh, no. Sorry, Your Majesty, it’s Dr. Wilson. I was just calling to give you your daily report on Her Majesty’s health.”

“Oh, yes, of course. I’m sorry. I just haven’t heard from-” He clears his throat, sits up, and slides to the edge of the bed. “No matter. How is my Queen, doctor?”

“She was asleep. But just woke up. She’s very tired. Her throat is better, but she’s had a fever every morning since Sunday.”

Thor sits up straighter, hand clenched into a fist around the edge of the bed as his heart starts to thrum loudly.

“Is she seriously ill?”

“No, of course not, Your Majesty. But she really does need rest. She has been under severe stress and I’m sorry to say that your constant messages are not letting her rest.”

Thor’s heart drops and buries itself into a hole at the bottom of his stomach. He feels numb suddenly, fearful of what he might be doing to you. The guilt of what he knows he must tell you soon also weighs down on him.

“Are you saying that I should leave her be until she is recovered?” Thor checks, just in case he’s not understanding correctly.

“I’m saying that if you want her to get well quickly, you must give her what she asked you for. She needs rest.”

Thor hates that he can’t be there to check on you. He wants to feel you close. He wants to see you. What if you’re deathly ill and you’re telling Dr. Wilson to lie for you?

You abhor lies and cherish honesty , but he can see you lying in order to spare him pain. Just as he is lying to spare you the worry of all this uncertainty with Jane.

Although he knows that he can never lose you now and even with a child coming with Jane, you are his wife and he can’t leave you. He was stupid to think he could even try. The thought was a sin and he’ll never forgive himself for thinking it.

Loki was so angry with him.

Rightfully so.

The good thing is that you’ll never know how bleak things looked. At least he has found his sanity again.

“Will you keep me informed? I’ll stop contacting her if you will promise to tell me how she fares. If she gets worse, I want to know.” Thor insists, his voice passionate and begging.

“You have my word, Your Majesty. Have you heard anything from Ms. Foster? Do we know exactly when we’ll be running her tests?”

“She’s very busy. As of now, it’s looking more and more likely that we won’t be able to find the time until the week’s end. After we confirm her pregnancy, I’ll tell Y/N. I’m sorry that I’ve asked you to collude in this business.”

There’s a long pause and for a moment Thor thinks that maybe the phone has disconnected but then Dr. Wilson sighs, “I cannot wait for this week to be over. Will you come back for me then? When she’s ready?”

“Yes. I’ll pick you up in the same spot that I left you. My wife wasn’t too upset about her lawn, was she? Only, Stark seems to get irritated with me every time I land on his.”

“No,” Dr. Wilson chuckles once. “She was not upset. Again, there’s little more than her throat, head, and fever on her mind. I’ve gotta go. She’s gone out into the garden for some fresh air but I need to get her back into bed.”

“Please take good care of her, doctor. She’s...well, she’s my wife,” Thor finishes heavily.

The phone goes dead and Thor sits there staring at his phone until he can find the strength to get to his feet and go off in search of Jane. They really need to talk.

~~~~~~~~~~

Friday

Thor is upset.

He’s beyond frustrated by now.

He’s irritated.

It’s a week tomorrow since he’s seen you and he can’t stand the distance anymore.

Dr. Wilson snuck him a photo but you’d been sitting on your sofa, looking weak and withdrawn.

He’s not sure what exactly is making you sick, but he knows that he can’t go another day without seeing you.

He needs to get Dr. Wilson back here and he needs to get confirmation so that he can have something to tell you once he sees you.

He won’t lose you over this.

It was one last time. One final goodbye with Jane and he’d thought she was on her birth control but apparently she hadn’t been so he hadn’t bothered to protect himself from the possibility of getting her pregnant.

Why hadn’t she said anything?! Why hadn’t she told him that she wasn’t on her pill?

He knows it’s wrong to blame her. It took both of them to make this baby, but being away from you for so long is wearing thin and he’s losing all semblance of patience.

It takes some very careful maneuvering. Heimdall is sent first, then Hilde, then Loki.

None of them know why they’re going in to corner Jane in the tower except for Loki. Well, Heimdall knows, but there’s no hiding much from Heimdall. He pretends not to know and that’s good enough for Thor.

Loki is just stepping out of the tower when he turns to look at Thor with a grave almost exhausted expression.

“She’s up there,” he assures Thor, frowning as he shuts the heavy door. “When will this end, Thor? Are you going to keep the Queen away forever?”

Thor says nothing, he’s too upset to speak. He pulls the door open roughly and stomps his way up the steps taking them two at a time until he’s standing on the top floor landing.

He can see Jane biting her lip, pacing the length of the room until she turns and finally sees him.

“Thor…” she gasps, not expecting to see him.

“We have to talk, Jane.”

She looks away, turning her back on him then moves towards her laptop which she carefully closes. She puts her hand up to her throat and turns to face him.

“I will have Dr. Wilson brought in and Dr. Alric to give you the same tests they have been giving Y/N. They will be confirming your pregnancy and once we have that, then we can all sit down and figure out-”

“I’m not pregnant,” Jane gasps, her voice filling the room despite the quiet breath that escapes her pink lips.

Thor’s stomach twists. It’s agony.

On the one hand, the words she’s just spoken are...they’re a celebration. They’re simplicity. They’re peace and a return back to normal where in his life there is only you.

On the other hand, he’s just lost a baby he never had. An heir that he’d been expecting and now can never get back.

He’d made plans for this child. He’s pictured his life with them, the happiness and joy that their birth would bring to the people of New Asgard. The assurance that they would always belong to Earth.

He’d picked names for boys and girls. He’d begun to make a list of nursery items they would need even as he lamented that the baby was not yours but Jane’s.

This baby would have, and had already begun to change his life.

And now this?!

“What?” he very nearly spits.

Jane is so flustered she’s wringing her hands hard, welting them red.

“I’m...I didn’t expect to come here and see you with her and see how fast you just-” she waves her hand as if shooing away some animal. “-moved on. It’s like you were never with me.

“You were both so happy and talking about the future and I just lost it for a little bit,” she shrugs. “I have no excuses, Thor. I’m sorry if what I said hurt you. It was selfish of me and I just loved you for so long. You were mine, you know? And now you’re married, planning to have kids, and your wife is so nice and considerate and even though she has every reason to hate me, she was polite and so damn perfect…

“I’m not afraid to say that it made me hate her. I’m ashamed of it, but not enough to take it back.”

The silence is thick. The air suddenly grows charged and Thor’s eyes shine a bright sparkling blue.

His hands crackle and his eye spits as if full of blue fire.

The sky overhead thunders and the world shakes with the boom. The lightning strikes sharp and fast, shaking the tower so that for a moment, Thor can see how Jane thinks it might topple.

His anger gives way to betrayal and his lightning fizzles out as he takes a step towards her, his brow furrowed, eye full of pain as he stares at her, searching for the joke that this must be.

There is no way that this is really happening.

“You lied to me?” Thor accuses.

Jane blanches, her lips going pale as she takes a step towards him.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie, I just-I didn’t want to see you with her anymore and I wasn’t thinking straight so I just said it before I could stop myself. I know that it was wrong and I didn’t think it would go on for so long. I wanted to tell you almost as soon as I said it that it wasn’t true, but then you just took off and then the Queen left and I wasn’t sure if you told her and maybe that’s why she wasn’t here.”

Thor shakes his head, turning away from her as he paces towards the stairs but then turns back, his anger returning but full of pain now.

“I defended you. When Loki insisted I have you tested I asked him if he doubted you and I assured him that you would not lie about something this important. What reason would you have to lie?” he demands, almost of himself instead of Jane.

“Thor,” Jane begins.

“How long were you going to let me think you were carrying my child? How long were you planning to con me?” he accuses and his words seem to hurt Jane.

Thor can’t find it in him to care too much.

“I wasn’t-that’s not what I meant to do, Thor. Please, you have to believe me. I just didn’t know how much seeing you with her would-”

“You have no right to be upset!” he booms, his voice loud and it startles Jane quiet.

She’s never heard him angry like this. She’s never heard his voice raised.

“I gave you every opportunity to be with me, to marry me, to build a life here with me and be my Queen. You didn’t want it! You flat-out refused to be tied down by me and this Kingdom but now that you see me and my wife happy, you change your mind?

“You have the audacity to raise obstacles between us because you have regrets?”

“Thor,” she tries again, but Thor won’t let her speak.

“Get out,” he says sternly, turning to move towards the stairs.

“What?!”

“I said, get out. You are no longer welcome in my home. Pray no one ever finds out of your treachery. And should you have the urge to return for any reason, don’t.”

Thor storms down the steps, so angry that each step shakes the tower.

He’s breathing heavily as he slams the door shut behind him.

The storm air helps to calm him a bit. It clears his mind at least and the past week zooms by him like an unpleasant movie.

All of that worry and the plotting and planning. The agony that he felt wondering if you’d leave him when you found out about his child with Jane was the most unbearable.

Your face flashes before his eyes and he knows that there’s only one place he can be right now.

He throws his hand out and a metallic whistling rushes closer before his fist closes around his hammer.

He swings it firmly and throws it up into the air as he makes for your home.

Now that he has nothing to keep him here, he’s eager to get back to you. He’ll tell you everything and hope that you can forgive him for lying to you about Jane.

Even though it was a lie by omission, it was still a lie.

“I’m coming, my cherub,” he whispers, so eager to have you in his arms again.

Nothing will ever tear him from you again. He is certain. Nothing. Not a false heir, or a former love, no doubts exist within him anymore. You are the one.

The only one.

#king!thor x reader #thor x reader #arranged marriage au #royal au #a wife for thor #king!thor x reader fanfiction #king!thor x reader fanfic #king!thor x reader fic #king!thor x you #thor x reader fanfiction #thor x reader fanfic #thor x reader fic #thor x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #a wife for thor pt19

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yoditorian · 3 years

Text

lacuna - part 9

din/reader

well shit guys,,,,this is the last one.

this has been a labour of love and i just want to say a huge huge thank you to everyone who’s commented and reblogged and sent me asks and even just lurked and read it. seriously, from the absolute bottom of my heart, thank you. i’d also love to extend a special thank you to @keeper0fthestars and @chatterbean for consistently cheering me on throughout this fic. and an extra extra special thank you to @bee-dameron for being the most incredible sounding board, and without whom this fic literally would not exist. this was really my first jump back into writing fic properly and i couldn’t be more grateful for the love its received. it might be the end for the main storyline, but it’s definitely not the end of this universe 💛

series masterlist // main masterlist

word count: 4.9k

warnings: angst angst angst, rebel is healing, din is having the worst time of his life (all of season 2), swears, yes i am referencing That Monologue

He can’t stop hearing it.

How you pleaded with him, how you begged him to stay, how you cried when he left. Din’s sure it’s a sound that’ll haunt him for the rest of his life.

Din has been staring out at the swirling lights of hyperspace for hours when the kid clambers up into his lap, his stomach lurches when he notices three little green fingers curled around a corner of your old blanket. The kid leans over to frown at the second passenger seat. Empty.

“I know, buddy. It’s my fault, I’m sorry.” His voice is wrecked, the sound of it so harsh through the modulator that even he flinches.

Din’s still not completely sure that the child understands him, but his little ears droop down at the apology and he wraps himself up as best he can in your blanket. Five minutes and you’ve charmed the little thing. Din isn’t sure why he’s surprised, you did the same to him all those years ago.

The kid settles back down to sleep in his lap, curled up in the thinning fabric, and one of Din’s gloves hits the floor before he even realises that he’s slipped it off. The wool is a little stiff with age under his fingers, but it’s been well loved. And been well loved on if his memory serves. He wonders if it smelt of him afterwards. If you spent nights curled up in it, trying to inhale the last memento you had of him before he saw you again, the same way he spent so many nights wallowing in his own memories. He used to wish he had something physical with him to keep close, the cruel irony of your forgotten blanket doesn’t go unnoticed now.

Part of him wants to bring it back. A peace offering, maybe. He wants to let you get to know the kid better, to help him on his quest to find his home. Or maybe just to stay, like you asked. But he fucked it all up. You’d probably slam the door of your little home in his face now. Honestly? He’s pretty sure it’s the least he deserves. He wouldn’t be surprised if you pulled a blaster on him with all the ways he’s hurt you.

It feels like grief. The way the sorrow settles on your chest, curling it’s cold hands around your lungs and squeezing. You hope it chokes you, if only so you don’t have to feel like this anymore. You curl up on the kitchen floor, the cold tile freezing through your clothes, and wonder if this is it.

Kes finds you there, hours after the door was slammed and the sun has set.

“Is there something wrong with me?” You can’t help but ask, you can’t help but wonder. Because even through the pain and the silence and the arguments, you still love Din. Maybe you always will. But you’re not sure it matters anymore. Kes looks at you, confused, and you press on.

“I mean, I laid out how I feel so many times and all he ever did was push it away but- but I know that if he walked in that door right now I’d let him back in.”

“I think that’s love, kiddo.” He sinks down to join you on the floor, and if the chill of the tile raises goosebumps on his arms, he doesn’t mention it.

“Love is stupid,” You pause when he shoots you a look, “No offence to you and your ridiculously happy marriage, but this sucks.”

You sound like a child, you know that. Just like you know that things with Din were always going to end the way they have. You’ve always known you came second to his creed, so much so that you can’t even bring yourself to be angry about it anymore. The alternative is to cry until you lose your voice, so childish seems like the way to go.

“What?” You huff. Kes is watching you carefully, in that pensive way that he does when he’s about to call your bluff in sabacc and take the game. Like he always does.

“I’m not sure you really think that.”

He’s right on the money yet again, the fucking asshole.

A fresh wave of tears stings your eyes. thankful at least that Kes has found a spot on the floor to look at instead of turning those big sad eyes onto you. You’re not sure you could take it. It’s frustration at yourself, mostly, instead of just the heartbreak of being left behind so willingly. So angrily. What is it about you that made the idea of sticking around so repulsive, so disgusting, that he left without a second thought. You thought he loved you, you really did. But you’ve been wrong about things before. However much you hate it.

“I can’t stay here. I can’t.”

“I know.” Kes’s eyes lift from the floor finally, settling uncertainly on yours.

“I’m sorry, it’s not that I- I want to be close to you guys but,” You flounder for a moment, desperate to think up a reason, “I just can’t be here.”

He understands, you know he does. You’ve all lost enough people, physically and emotionally, to know when a place is no longer welcoming. And you do, genuinely, love the little house on the edge of their land. You love the way the sun hits through the kitchen window in the late afternoon, you love the way you can hear the birds in the trees when you wake in the morning, you love the way any of them can drop by anytime they want to. But it’ll always be the site of the last time you loved Din, the last time he kissed you. Ground zero of your relationship. If you could even call it that.

“I’ll be alright. I’ve been without him before.”

You have, you’ve been without Din. You’ve spent years without hearing the comm you gave him so much as click. You’ll be alright. In time.

Only, there were never arguments before. All those times you left, or he left, he’d never shouted at you the way he did. You’d never felt the rage he keeps so carefully locked away, not with you in the crosshairs anyway. It sends your stomach churning, remembering the way he denied you so easily.

You eye the pouch of credits on the table, just visible over the top of Kes’s head. Why would he leave something like that behind? The Crest is falling apart, he’s got the kid to think about now, why would he forsake a payday for someone he’d so readily abandon.

The dam breaks, and your brave face along with it.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Kes shuffles over to sit closer, to draw you into his arms and let you cry it out on his shoulder. So, in turn, you let yourself feel it. Properly. Sobbing until you’re half asleep, breath hitching every now and again, and the sun starts to rise.

You don’t know why Din left the credits there, and it feels odd to think about using them when he’s the reason this house isn’t a home anymore. But he could never give you much, and despite everything you know he’s never been a heartless man intentionally, maybe this is his way of making up for that. A clean slate.

The first thing he thinks of as Din comes to, only seconds after the e-web cannon explodes in his face, is you. Of course it is.

You with your feet up beside you on the passenger seat and the child in your arms, wrapped up and snoring softly. No idea of what was coming. It’s that image that stays at the forefront of his mind, even through the pain of being dragged across the ground into the almost safety of the destroyed cantina.

That’s the view he wants, regardless of however futile it is to realise that now. Regardless of the fact that he’s dying and you’re not here. You don’t even know. Maybe you wouldn’t care if you did. He wouldn’t be surprised.

But he gave it up for what? For this? Denied himself and the kid safety and a life just for both of them to die on the grotty floor of the cantina on Nevarro. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Maybe he always has been, for refusing you at every turn, refusing to let himself give in and reassess and have the life he’s so desperately wanted with you for years now. Who is he, without his creed?

Yours. He knows that now.

There’s something profoundly wrong about you not being there as the blood trickles down the back of his neck and soaks into his clothes. As he hands off the child to the people he’s come to think of as his friends and trusts them to do the one thing he can’t.

“Take him to Yavin,” He tells them, desperately, “Find the little house at the end of the farm track.”

You’ll take care of the kid, despite everything. You’ll take him in without a question, in a heartbeat. The same way you so effortlessly ingrained Din into your life when you first met. Even if it was accidental on both sides.

Din can’t stop himself, as the IG unit lifts his helmet, from remembering the way you did the same. This feels so clinical, mechanical. There’s nothing of the warmth and reverence that had been in your touch. Even this close to death, it’s like his bones themselves are calling your name.

“What do you think?” Your voice echoes in the empty space. The smell of fresh sawdust is strong in your nose, but you don’t mind. It’s oddly comforting, as though the shop was built just for you. The sound of little footsteps pound over the upper floor and a messy mop of curls appears over the top of the railing.

“I love it. Can I live here too?” Poe grins cheekily.

“Your parents might have something to say about that, buddy.”

He thunders down the stairs beside the little back office and comes to a skidding halt in front of you, kicking up a little dust in his wake. You catch him easily, whirling him around in a circle as he laughs. The way the sound fills the space starts to stitch the edges of your heart back together. Maybe this is what you need to do, fill a new space with light and laughter and the people you love. Somewhere to exist, somewhere to grow. The workshop seems like a good place to start.

A child of The Watch.

What does that even mean?

His covert, his family, it’s- it’s not a cult. It can’t be. The way she talked about it, like even the thought left a bad taste in her mouth, sends a shot of anger down his spine. He is not a religious zealot. But, would he know if he is?

Is he?

Din’s never had cause to doubt his creed, or his covert. They saved him, rescued and raised him. They taught him to fight and to protect and to provide for the covert. Foundlings are the future, right? Would he be less, maybe, to those born on Mandalore? To people like Bo-Katan who wear the armour from generations past, who fought to defend their homeland and their clans. Din doesn’t wear ancestral armour, but has he not defended his family with his life? Ancient way or not, it seems like the kind of thing that would be important in any kind of Mandalorian culture. Traditionalist or otherwise.

No one has seen his face since he was a child. And yet, he still took off his helmet, every time, for you and believed he was breaking his creed. Sure, you never saw his face, but does that matter? Is it not the principal of the thing? Then there’s the glaring evidence that there are Mandalorians who can remove their helmets. What does that make him, if he’s neither followed the letter of the creed or whatever rules Bo-Katan has.

With the kid safely tucked away and snoring in his little hammock, Din pulls the helmet off and glares at his distorted reflection in the curve of the visor. He can feel your hands on him like you’re there, smoothing over his shoulders and curling around his waist. And as all the tension melts from his body, he knows what you’d say. That he is himself. Din Djarin, and it’s up to him what he wants that to mean. Whether it includes Mandalorian or not. Whatever he wants to be is what he is and you’d never love him less for it.

Love him.

He scoffs at himself. There’s no way you feel like that about him now.

“Can you reach right up in that corner?”

You’d let Poe pick the colour for the walls of the main attic space, and so he and his dad are flecked in bright orange paint as they swirl brushes over the wood they’d primed yesterday.

Kes has him on his shoulders, fully in charge of the high up sections as he’d so politely asked, while you and Shara are screwing together the fittings for the kitchen units. A pastel blue this time, also chosen by Poe. Although Shara had kindly guided him away from the neon purple cupboard doors that had caught his eye with a quick wink at you. Maybe giving a small child free reign over your interior decorating was a bad idea. But he’d proven to have quite an eye on some things.

The four of you had travelled all the way to an inner rim market to find your furniture, deciding on a deep red fabric couch that fit all of you comfortably and takes a considerable amount of effort to rise from. It’s been pushed back against the half wall that hides the attic living space from the workshop floor. Your bedroom furniture is brand new as well, all light polished wood and soft bedding. The credits Din had abandoned had gone a long way, almost long enough that you can forget where they came from. Sometimes.

It hits you again, cross legged on the floor as Shara hands you another piece to slot into place, that there should be an extra pair of hands. Pulling more pieces out of crates or rearranging the layout in the bedroom or hanging lampshades. It’s nice to be making this new house into a home with your family, but there’s still a gaping hole where there should be someone else.

A warm hand settles on your knee, breaking your focus from where it’s settled at the top of the staircase. Shara. You turn to her with a smile, and blink back a wave of tears when she returns it. You have your family, right here, you don’t need him. You don’t need him.

“Get down!” Shara calls, just as a shadow looms over you.

Poe’s feet swing over your heads and he laughs when Shara just misses grabbing his ankle, Kes lifting him deftly out of the way at the last second. This is what your life is supposed to be, definitely. The sound of everybody else’s laughter lifts the weight off of your shoulders just enough for you to breathe, to laugh along with them. For a little while.

Din loses everything in a matter of moments. Everything.

Methodically searching through the ashes of the Razor Crest, of the only home he had left, is the final barrier between him and the guilt about the child. About Grogu. The kid’s become his, undeniably, and he couldn’t do the one thing a father is supposed to do. Gideon has him at his mercy, has Din at his mercy now. Whatever the Moff and Dr Pershing have in store, it’s not good. The kid might not even survive.

All he can see is his little face, his little arms reaching out as the droid climbed higher and higher towards the cruiser. What kind of a father is he, to just let his son be taken from him? No man who would so willingly see the child in his care delivered to his doom deserves to be called such a thing.

Din kicks the dust at his feet in frustration, all too aware of the new eyes watching him. Grief is a difficult thing in and of itself, it’s even harder when it’s observed. He feels like an exhibit. Sure, the two of them stayed and defended the child without even being asked to, but that doesn’t mean he wants them sitting and watching as he sifts through the ruins of his life.

Fitting, really, that the one way he always thought he would keep you in his life went up in flames, exploded in much the same way your relationship did. That was his fault too.

But it’s all gone now. The Razor Crest, his home, Grogu’s bed, your old blanket. Grogu and you. Maybe for good, maybe this is his life now, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get either of you back. Maybe he’ll launch a rescue mission only to find his son dead and hitch a ride to Yavin only to be turned away at your door. Maybe that’s what he deserves.

“Thanks!” You call as the couple stroll out of the main doors and into the sunshine, newly repaired pit droid trotting after them.

“Which one goes to this one again?” Poe catches your attention, waving the motor over his head. He’s sitting on the desk in the back office, little eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You’ve been teaching him small mechanic things here and there on his days with you. How to wire a basic console, how to program a droid, how a hyperdrive motivator works. You’d taken him out with you on a call once, so you could show him the different engine parts of a ship that his mother doesn’t treasure. Today, it’s hotwiring lessons.

Kes and Shara had pretended to disapprove when you asked them what they thought about it, and they still would if Poe was the one to bring it up. But the larger community on Yavin still sleeps far too lightly, still sleeps far too little. The kids are learning their history and their life skills, but alongside basic combat and strategy lessons. The older kids can enroll in weapons training and piloting lessons. The war will never fully leave this moon so long as it stands.

“Which one do you think?” You ask, settling down into the chair with your datapad and a mountain of forms to fill out. Poe ponders for a moment, glancing between your expectant expression and the dead motor in his hands.

“This one?” He touches the exposed wires together carefully, huffing when nothing happens.

“No, wait! This one!” The little motor whirrs to life the moment the wires make contact, and subsequently dies again when he drops it to throw his arms up in celebration. You catch it before it can hit the floor and burst into pieces, your own smile wide enough to make your cheeks ache.

You’re living. For the first time in years you’re living, without watching over your shoulder for the Empire, without wondering when you’ll see Din again. You’re spending time with your best friends’ kid and making a living as the town mechanic. You have regular customers and people who drop by just to say hi, and things don’t seem so bad anymore. Even though there’s a gap inside of you that aches and misses him, you’re starting to be at peace with it.

He doesn’t know why he was so stupid as to think the facial scan might work with the fucking helmet on. And now the terminal won’t stop beeping and he’s pretty sure people are looking over at him and there’s only one option left and- fuck it.

Din’s hands shake as he lifts the plastic helmet off, the habit of a usually much heavier one makes the movement almost too forceful, and he sets it down.

This is wrong. It feels so wrong. The first time any living being has seen his face since he was a child and it’s a room full of Imperials. The organisation that took his parents from him, that massacred whole planets and drove his people underground, that you have spent your whole life fighting against. He feels sick.

It was supposed to be you. He’s thought about it a lot, since the first time you took him to that little house on Yavin. He envisioned standing in the bedroom, curtains thrown open to soak up the last of the afternoon sun, and you’d smile at him in that way you always did. He would pull you close to press his forehead against yours, he would take your hands and bring them up to close around the lip of his helmet. He’d tell you it was okay, and you’d lift it off together. You’d smile, maybe a stray tear would linger in the corner of your eye, and you’d finally get to see him. You’d trace your fingertips along his cheekbone and press a kiss on the little spot on his jaw where the hair doesn’t grow. You’d tell him you always thought he had brown eyes. He’d tell you you’re beautiful. And then he’d kiss you, and you’d let him.

The terminal beeps again and Din pulls the drive from the port, just in time to turn and face an Imperial Officer.

Your head is in an engine hatch when you hear one of the wide metal doors at the front of the shop creak open.

“We just closed up, but you can swing by in the morning if it isn’t an emergency!” You call, and hope your voice carries to whoever is standing in your doorway. You don’t really have the time for a customer, this speeder repair is already a day late because you were watching Poe last night, but Yavin is a community.

However long it took you to get used to after being back on the station, it’s almost like being a part of the rebellion again. Everybody works together to make things a little easier for everyone else. You hear a shuffle of footsteps, slowly edging closer to you, and you’re about to call out again when they say your name.

When he says your name.

You hit your head on the hatch as you pull yourself out of it.

“No.”

You can’t do this. You can’t.

All the work you’ve done to piece your broken little heart back together starts to unravel, just seeing him standing in your workshop. Every staple and stitch and strip of tape loosens until there’s nothing left and that gap inside you, the one that sits right under your heart, starts to ache something fierce.

How dare he.

How dare he think he can walk into the one place that you have, the one place in the whole galaxy that doesn’t stink of betrayal and heartache and him. How dare he think he can disturb the life you’ve begun to build without him, however much it hurt. There are nights where you don’t think of him now. Nights where you don’t wake in the middle of dreams of his touch and his voice and his kisses. And now he’s here and all of your work was for nothing.

“Please-”

“No. No, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to come back and undo everything. You can’t.” At least your voice is steadier than you feel, as you square your shoulders and plant your feet in a vain attempt to stay upright. Or to stop yourself running right back into his arms.

“I know.”

No, that’s what breaks the final piece of your heart off. The heart that belongs to him anyway. It always has, even when you didn’t want it to. He sounds so broken.

“Did you leave the baby on the ship again?”

You don’t miss the way his shoulders tighten, just barely, or how his fingers twitch nervously.

“The ship’s gone. So is- so is the kid,” Din takes a shuddering breath, “I lost everything.”

Everything? What does that even mean? Your stomach flips at the thought of what he might mean, that the kid is gone. You’re almost afraid to ask. And you hate the painful tug in your chest when his knees give out and he hits the concrete floor with a thud. There’ll be bruises in the morning.

“He’s with a Jedi, he’s with his people but-” He gestures vaguely, and you know what he means. You felt the same way every time he left you. If the kid’s a Jedi, he probably should be in the care of people who know what to do. But you can’t imagine how it must have felt to just hand the baby over.

“He’s where he belongs.” You’re trying to stay cold, you really are.

“Is he?”

It’s hard to be cruel to a man who’s just given up his kid. To a man you love.

He says your name again, softly, tearfully. The shudder of a sob ripples through his body and he heaves a deep breath at the same time you do. You can feel it creeping back, every uncertainty you had the day he walked out of your old house. Every bone in your body screams for you to reach out to him, to comfort him the way he should have comforted you when he left you crying for him on your kitchen floor. He can’t be here. You have to make him go.

“Mando-”

“My name, please use my name.” He interrupts you, desperately. He doesn’t mean to, but he can’t hear you call him Mando. It never sounded right, not the way his real name does when you roll it around on your tongue. He needs to hear it.

“Din, you can’t stay.”

It’s so hard to hold steady, to keep your voice even, to not just throw it all away and gather him into your arms the way you want to. The way you need to. You were right, all those months ago, when you told Kes you’d take him right back if he walked through the door.

“You’re home, you know that? It’s you.”

You say nothing, for fear your words will crack and give you away.

“And- and every time I left or you left it just, nothing felt right. Not until we were together again, and it scared me. And I hurt you because of it, that’s my fault.” He sighs, defeated, but continues on when you stay silent.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I- it’s inexcusable. I don’t know how to- how to fix it. I don’t know if I can,” Din hangs his head in shame, “You should hate me. I do. I pushed you away and hurt you, when all I ever wanted was you. Just you.”

It’s not enough to soothe the scars in your heart, the ones that settled deep and angry and split open time and time again. The ones he put there. But maybe there’s room to make a start.

“I don’t hate you,” You press on even as his head shoots up in surprise, “Against all my better judgement, I love you. Pretty sure I always have.”

It’s quiet for a long time. And you think this is when he tells you he’s not good enough for you, that he never will be, and he leaves for the very last time. You know you won’t see him again if he does, but he’ll take your heart with him anyways.

“Cyar’ika.” He breaks the silence. Again. But it’s softer than the last time you were in this position.

“You’ve called me that before.”

“I’ve called you that a lot of times, you were only awake once.”

“What does it mean?” You’re almost afraid to know the answer.

He lifts his hand to his shoulder, to a pauldron with an unusual skull welded to it, and detaches the mechanism. It clatters to the floor, but Din’s gaze remains firmly locked on yours. He does the same with the other and lifts the bandolier over his head. That too is abandoned on the ground.

“Sweetheart.” His vambraces, this time. One, two clang as they hit the floor, followed by his thigh plates.

“Darling.” The chest plate.

He’s kneeling, surrounded by his armour, by the definition of the man you thought he was. All but the helmet. You love him, you can’t deny that. He’s baring himself to you in ways he never has before and you know what it means to him to do this.

“Beloved.”

Your brain stops working. You were so ready to shout and scream and punish him for what he put you through but suddenly none of it matters. Because he’s here, he’s finally here, and he’s telling you he loves you and that’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“Take it off, please?”

And so you do.

Your feet are moving towards him before you can even register what they’re doing and you haul him up off of the ground. Din winds his arms around you automatically, without a second thought, until there isn’t a breath of air left between your bodies. No armour, no barriers, just two people who have done far too much damage to each other to ever know anyone else the way you do.

His eyes. Oh god, his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.” You whisper, careful not to disturb the peace that’s settled. Finally, finally.

“That’s my line.” He chuckles as you smile, as you feel that gap in your ribs quiet after all these years. An unfilled space, no longer.

Din kisses you, and you let him.

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#lacuna #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #star wars #fic #liz does words #oh my god........oh my god its over #sfw

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

Text

Soulmarks, Part 13

First part

~~~

She heard a knock on her balcony door and opened it. He stood outside, his hands stuffed in his pockets. She glanced him over. He was definitely more prepared than she was, he looked like he’d just walked out of a spy movie with all his equipment.

She looked it over with envy. Ah, the power of money.

Marinette waved him inside. “I’ve still got to get some stuff out.”

She dug through her room. Unsurprisingly, her parents weren’t exactly aware of this particular ‘hobby’ of hers… which meant that she’d had to hide everything pretty well. They didn’t exactly go through her room, but they still came up to talk to her often enough that having stuff out in the open was a terrible idea.

She scooped up the last piece of equipment and turned around.

He was also poking around her room, though the reason why was probably less innocent than ‘looking for spy equipment’... which already isn’t all that innocent, so take that how you will.

Her face flushed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Find anything interesting?”

His shoulders froze and he dropped the tiny Chat Noir plush he’d found. “Your room… it’s... uh… very… pink.” He coughed into his hand awkwardly. “Yep. Got everything? Good, let’s go.”

He made to leave and she grabbed his arm.

Tim paused and looked back at her, giving her his most innocent smile. He was probably anxious that she was mad at him for snooping around her room (she wasn’t, she’d do the same thing in his room if he had actually lived there).

She hesitated slightly and let go, pulling out her yoyo to mess with. Now for the part of the night that she’d been dreading most: “We need a backup plan in case we get caught.”

“I doubt we will,” he said with a cocky grin.

Marinette shrugged. “I hope not, but in case… you’ll need to have some kind of suit so we can say it’s superhero business.”

He winced and looked at the floor. “I don’t want to get back in the Robin suit,” he admitted, his voice little more than a whisper.

She nodded slightly. She’d predicted that. He hadn’t once mentioned wanting to get back into the Robin suit, nor had the soulmark made a reappearance. She held up a finger for him to wait and then walked over to her desk, picking up a tiny box.

She’d thought for a long time about what to give him. She had wanted to give him the fox miraculous originally, it was the most in line with what they were doing; Trixx would give them extra cover and they could get closer to Lila without her detecting them. On the other hand, giving the fox miraculous to anyone besides Alya was risky. There was a risk of her becoming akumatized. They really didn’t need that right now.

And, so, she handed over the horse miraculous. It would give them a quick out when needed.

Also, she thought he’d look cute with glasses. Sue her.

He raised his eyebrows slightly and pulled them on.

She was right!

He frowned slightly and started squinting through the glasses. “Oh, crap, do I actually need glasses these are helpi -- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Shhhhh! My parents are going to hear us!”

He pointed at Kaalki, who crossed her arms (? hooves? legs?) over her chest.

“Who is that,” she corrected, then turned to Marinette with a sigh. “Is he at least famous?”

“Yep. Tim Drake-Wayne. Rich and famous, just how you like them.”

Kaalki beamed. “Finally, someone who actually deserves me.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and turned to Tim, who was slowly backing away from the tiny god. “She’s not going to hurt you.”

“Well, yeah, I can and will punt her.”

She rolled her eyes. “She’s literally a god, but okay.”

“A WHAT?!”

Marinette heard a knock on the bottom of her trapdoor and cursed, quickly diving onto it before her mom could come in. Her hands and knees were scraped, but it was much easier than explaining why there was a guy and a god hanging out in her room.

“Marinette? Is everything okay in there?” Her mom pushed up on the door and she threw all her weight into holding it closed. “Who’s over?”

“Yes, mom, everything’s fine! This is just…” She floundered. “A new superhero?”

“How do you know superheroes?”

“I have an amazing personality.” She caught Tim’s eyes and mouthed that he needed to take off all the equipment and then transform.

He looked reluctant, but he complied.

She waited until he was fine and then finally pushed herself off the door, giving her mother an awkward smile as the trapdoor opened.

“Hi, mom, meet…” She looked at Tim and shrugged. “Horse-guy?”

Tim raised his eyebrows. “Horse-guy? Seriously?”

She shrugged. “Do you have anything better?”

“Uh…” He looked down at himself. “Cheval Brun?”

“Should’ve gone with Horse-guy.” She smiled and waved at her mom. “Great, now that you know nothing is going on, can you… go? I love you!”

“Love you… too?” Said her mom, her eyebrows knitting together. She slowly closed the trapdoor.

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief and laid back.

“Tikki, spots on,” she mumbled.

Tim grinned and offered her a hand up. “Ready to go?”

She took it and smiled as he helped her to her feet.

“Of course.”

She pulled her night-vision goggles to her eyes. Lila was… on her bed, scrolling through her phone. Threatening.

“Y’know, it feels weird to stalk someone I don’t like,” she said with a pout.

“Right?” Said Tim, frowning as he set up his camera. “Stalking is for obsessions only.”

“Exactly.”

She heard her comm click. “You guys are really weird,” said Adrien, sounding exhausted. “Just… in the future, can you stick to only stalking each other?”

“Sounds romantic,” said Marinette.

“No,” said Dick. “No, it’s not.”

Tim grinned. “It could be.”

“No --.”

“I say we let them. At least it’s not us anymore,” said Barbara.

Marinette laughed. “Exactly. Be glad.”

She felt Tim lace his fingers through hers and she was lucky it was dark because her face was quickly getting warm.

“We’re turning off comms to listen. We’ll turn them back on if we need to.”

Everyone mumbled a bye (and Dick warned that they would pick up the conversation later) and the soulmates turned their comms off in sync.

They waited there for a long time, their ears pressed to the devices Tim had brought to help listen in. But… it was almost like Lila was being intentionally boring. They didn’t have to peek over the side to make sure that she was still there, because they could hear her shift around on the bed or laugh occasionally, she just seemed to be very interested in her phone.

“Christ, she’s more boring than Adrien. At least Adrien sometimes played piano,” she joked quietly, resting her head back against the wall with a tiny sigh.

Maybe they were wrong about Lila. They’d been going off of shaky evidence at best. Still, something in her told her that they were right.

The thing telling her this was definitely fuelled by spite, but she was going to pretend that it wasn’t.

So she continued to listen in. There was a lot of waiting involved in stalking someone if you’re looking for something.

Her eyes found their way to Tim, who gave her a tiny smile.

Well, she might as well kill time.

“So, we going to talk about Lila?”

His smile dropped and he tried not to tense up too much.

“Thought we already did?” He said.

She shrugged. “A little, but I’d like to know why you were so convinced. Yeah, Lila is like that, but you seemed pretty determined to believe her over me.”

He hesitated, looking down at their interlocked hands. He’d hoped that her history with Lila would be enough to convince her that was all, but he supposed he should have known she’d be smarter than that.

Man, why couldn’t he just lie? He wanted to lie, it should have been so easy to say ‘oh, no, she’s just really convincing, you know that’ but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when he’d seen how hurt she’d looked at the cafe, not when she was giving him that smile that said she’d understand no matter what.

Tim sighed and closed his eyes.

“It’s just… you’re so… good, Nette.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“No, really. Like, yes, you’re probably more revenge motivated than you should be, and you can be a bit of a pushover, and you rival Bruce in the bad coping mechanism olympics, but… you’re also a heroine, you’re sweet, and it feels like you were made for me but…”

She ran her thumb over the back of his hand. She looked like she was going to argue for a second, but ultimately just prompted him to continue with a: “But…?”

“But... that’s just not how things go in my life. There’s always some kind of downside, some huge ‘oh fuck’. So you being some sort of terrible person underneath really would have just been par for the course.”

He felt tears form in the back of his eyes. Venting always feels good after the fact, even if it opens old wounds while you’re doing it. Damn. He couldn’t really afford to do this in Paris, but here he was, and now that he’d started he couldn’t bring himself to stop. If he did, he doubted he’d ever be able to bring himself to tell her, and he wasn’t fond of that, either.

“And, I’ve never really told anyone about this, but… I don’t really… talk to a lot of people.”

“I know.”

His head shot up to look at her. “Huh?”

“You’re my soulmate. It took you until fourteen to get a single person’s name. I kinda guessed.”

Oh. Right.

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Well, yeah, my parents sucked and every person who ever tried to talk to me did it because they were rich. I ended up just never talking to people. The whole ‘friends’ thing is still kinda new to me, let alone getting a possible girlfriend.”

He gave a short, somewhat bitter laugh. “Not that you want to date me. I’m a bit of a mess. So is my life. You’d be better off if we were just friends, and even better if you stopped talking to me entirely.”

He felt her head rest on his shoulder and opened his eyes to look at her. She gave him a slight smile, but her eyes were locked on a place over his shoulder.

A frown made its way across his face and he started to turn to see what she was looking at, only to feel her cup his cheek and pull his face until he was looking at her again.

She met his gaze and her smile dropped into a serious look. “Listen: I like being around you. A lot. I’m not nearly as perfect as you seem to think I am, but I still want to be something good in your life. Please, let me.”

He let himself relax, resting his hand over hers and turning his head to press a tiny kiss to her palm.

“I know you only said that because there was an akuma, but… I’d like that.”

She blushed faintly and relaxed a little bit as well. “I still meant it.”

He looked at her for a minute, expecting to see some hint of a lie, but there wasn’t one. She met his gaze and smiled, leaning up slightly to press a kiss to his cheek.

He couldn’t help it. He turned his head and his lips brushed against hers.

She blinked in surprise.

He looked at her wide eyes and paled. Shit. “Sorry! I don’t know what --!”

She kissed him again and he felt himself smile as he kissed back. It was both of their first kisses, so they were, admittedly, a little awkward, but he could definitely tell why people liked it so much. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever felt so energized.

But, eventually, they pulled away. His eyes fluttered open to see she was blushing like mad, and the warmth in his cheeks told him that he was likely just as red. She smiled at him and he felt his heart do a tiny flip in his chest.

Eventually, though, Lila laughed at something on her phone and he was pulled back to reality.

He blinked a few times and looked away. They were here for a reason other than kissing. They had a job. “Did you see where the akuma came from?” He asked after a few seconds.

She snapped out of it as well, pulling her hand from his cheek to point over his shoulder. “Back that way --.”

They both looked at where she was pointing, where the akuma was slowly disappearing on the horizon.

“What are the chances it’s going back to Hawkmoth?”

“Worth a shot, don’t you think?”

They followed after it.

~~~

Next part

A lot of people wait to do kisses until the end but idk I like writing people in relationships too much to

Taglist

@pawsitivelymiraculous @golden-promises @salty-fang @kitsunebell @sassakitty @octobitch @glastwime859 @miyla-lokidottir @onlyabatfan @ira-sairain @2confused-2doanything @ultimatetornshipper @ladybug-182 @laurcad123 @we-want-mini-mini @roguishredaxion @just-reblogs-by-h @futursworld @magic-miraculous @nathleigh @smolplantmum @vroomtaka @emimar7 @toodaloo-kangaroo @charme-de-malchan @spicybelladonna @fusser90 @indecisive-mess-named-me @rosesgonerogue @celestialsiren @bluesimani @loysydark

#timinette #timari #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #red robin #tim drake #listen technically he's not red robin in this #but wtf kinda clicks am i going to get with brun cheval #soulmarks #maribat #adribat

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plus-size-reader · 4 years

Text

Captivated

Hvitserk Ragnarsson x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1993 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Entering into an arranged marriage to Hvitserk

——————————————————————————————————

Arranged marriages were common in Kattegat.

So common in fact that you knew very few people that married for love alone.

If there was to be a wedding, it was usually formed because there was mutual gain, not only for the two betrothed people, but also their families as well, and your marriage would be no different.

Hvitserk was at an age where a man should start thinking about taking a wife, and you were at an age when you should have already been one. That made your father very willing to marry you off, and it didn’t hurt that the man in question was a son of Ragnar.

The very chance to tie you to that bloodline forever was too good to pass up, especially for a greedy and malicious sort of creature like your father. The glory it would shine on him would not pass him by.

That was the one thing he’d decided.

He decided that, of course, long before he even asked you if you were willing to partake in any sort of marriage with that man.

Not that you would have had much say to begin with.

You had never met any of Ragnar’s famed sons and you, frankly, had no interest in doing so. However, Hvitserk was seeking a wife and with your father’s jarl title, there was little chance he would refuse.

Even if you were, as your father would say, “No less worth than a milking cow” It was meant to be a compliment, you’d assumed, though it was getting harder and harder to take it as one as you got older.

You were not blind to the fact that you weren’t as thin and fair as other women may have been, but that didn’t mean you weren’t just as beautiful. You were fine looking, as far as you were concerned, though maybe not to everyone.

That didn’t seem as if it was going to be a problem for much longer though.

After all, you were going to get married before long anyway. As soon as you became a wife, it wouldn’t matter what you looked like to anyone other than your husband.

However, that brought one thing to your attention. You hadn’t thought about it before but there was a huge possibility that as soon as Hvitserk met you, he would refuse you entirely.

If he didn’t see you as the kind of wife he wanted, you would be back to square one as far as a marriage goes and your father wouldn’t be happy with you.

Not that you could really care all that much about that. There was no reason for you to treat yourself poorly over that chance. All things considered, if this man rejected you, that was his problem.

You had to just hope for the best and move on with your life if that happened...right? Not marrying Hvitserk wouldn’t immediately make you a spinster.

You had to hope that wasn’t the case.

Though, before you could completely back out of the entire thing, a thrall came through the door, a gown in her arms and a smile on her face. Her name was Ama, or something of the sort, and you forced yourself to focus as she spoke to you.

“Pardon me, the Jarl asked me to ready you for your evening” she informed, setting the dress on the table by the door before closing it.

The very idea of the day ahead of you filled you with dread, but you forced yourself to get up from where you were perched and readied yourself for what was waiting.

It was better to get it out of the way.

“Don’t slouch” your father huffed, reaching out to bump you slightly with the wooden cane he used to get around, trying to fix that. You were not even trying to make yourself presentable and he wasn’t going to let that stop him from marrying you off.

He already had too much into this to let you ruin it.

“We will meet Hvitserk with his brother Ubbe and if he finds you presentable enough, you will remain here” he allowed, seeming to have no problem with forcing you away from your home.

Though, if he was that willing to get rid of you, perhaps you should have been glad to be rid of him.

You only nodded as he spoke, not even bothering to speak to you as he walked you over to the grand hall in the center of Kattegat. You had never been here, this close to the shore, but you didn’t really have a chance to admire it before you were ushered inside.

“Jarl Aland, my name is Ubbe” the first man to greet you started, offering a greeting to your much older father, who met him kindly with a smile. You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was.

He was nothing like the men in your father’s village, which seemed to be much smaller than the majority of Kattegat. For living so close to the outskirts, there really were few similarities.

“Excellent. This is my daughter, Y/N” your father chuckled, offering you forward as if you were some sort of cattle to be auctioned off. Still, you did nothing but smile at the man as he admired you.

You hated every second of it.

“Hello, I look forward to getting to know much about you” he started, leading you toward the fire in the center of the room, his hand bracing your lower back slightly.

It was just enough to keep you moving without making you feel uncomfortable, something you were glad for. After all, you were sure that if this man was to do anything unsavory to you, your father would do nothing to stop it.

Luckily, Ubbe seemed to be rather mannerly for a prince. You just had to hope that his brother was just as civilized.

“Hvitserk has been anxiously awaiting your arrival” he whispered, smiling down at you with an almost mischievous glint in his eyes. If only you knew just how much his brother had been talking about this.

This betrothal had come after your father met with the sons of Ragnar last summer, on his way to escort your brother and a few of his friends to take a voyage from this port.

You had only found out about it shortly after that, though you weren’t sure if the passing suggestion would ever come to pass in reality. Though, now that you were here, you knew why your father had been so keen on you doing this.

Kattegat was a wonderful place for trade and had much opportunity for growth. It offered a lot of chances for monetary gain in your fathers eyes, and the best way to get in would be through you.

A bond with the sons of Ragnar would make it plausible for more of your father’s people to come here and make money.

“I can’t say I’ve been all that at ease myself” you joked back, careful to keep your voice down so that your father couldn’t hear. He was hanging back from you and the blonde, but you wouldn’t put it past him to eavesdrop.

He had always been such a nosey old bastard.

“I understand but you mustn't worry, nothing will happen to you here” he assured, and as much as you were sure you wouldn't, you believed him when the words left his lips.

If nothing else, you knew that Ubbe would do nothing that would allow you to come to any harm.

You only nodded at his promise, letting him lead you farther into the space until you found a large fire in the center of the back room, a few more men surrounding it.

You assumed they were his brothers, but more than anything, you wondered which of them was the man you were to marry.

“Boys, this is Y/N” he introduced, announcing your presence to all of them at once in a way that, under any other circumstances, would have embarrassed you incredibly.

However, in this instance, all you did was smile as you waited for any of these new strangers to make themselves known to you. The first of which was another blonde, though he towered over both you and Ubbe.

“Jarl Aland’s daughter, we’ve been waiting for you. They call me-” he started, but as soon as he opened his mouth, you put the pieces together. “Bjorn Ironside” you filled in, recalling all the stories they told of him even where you lived.

He was a living legend and it took you a second to compose yourself after making such a bold statement, not that any of them seemed to mind. If anything, the men surrounding you seemed amused.

“She’s an enthusiastic little thing, isn’t she?” he grinned, directing his question to Ubbe, who only shrugged. It seemed to him that you were, though it was too early to tell.

After all, he had only just met you.

“Enough of that though, you’re here for Hvitserk” Bjorn finally decided, beckoning behind him, presumably for the man in question.

The man who had been avoiding you up until this point. He had already had a hard enough time being convinced to even meet you, led alone come to terms with the idea of getting married.

He had never wanted to be married.

Though, the way he understood it, there just came a time when every man should have had a family, and he had to start thinking about that. It seemed that his bachelor days had come to an end.

“Excuse him. Hvitserk has never truly cared about anything more than what’s dangling between his legs, and filling his stomach” Bjorn chuckled, his crude joke not lost on you as he nudged you gently.

They didn’t seem to have any shame between the group of them, and you had to admit that it was refreshing. Your father had always made you live as if you had the sort of title these males did, but they didn’t act like it.

If anything, they used their birthright as an excuse to be as crass as possible.

“Come now brother, say hello to your bride” Ubbe prompted, finally addressing the man as he came into view from behind his much larger half brother. He had been dreading this all day.

An idea that changed as soon as you came into view.

As soon as he saw you, every thought Hvitserk��d had in regards to a greeting melted away, along with his manners. You had to have been the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his eyes on.

There was no possible way you had agreed to marry him.

“Hvitserk, say hello” Ubbe snapped, laughing at his younger brothers obvious floundering. It was clear to both Bjorn and Ubbe the moment they saw you that this was how he would react.

Not that it was supposed to be this amusing.

Hvitserk was never speechless, though you had somehow managed to force every plausible thought from his mind with only a look.

“Hello”

It was by no means the smooth, or suave introduction he had been planning to knock you off your feet, but it was the best he could muster with the fog you’d forced upon him.

“Hello Hvitserk, my name is Y/N, though I’d imagine you knew that already” you giggled, finding the humor in your action. Of course he knew your name already, you were just so in the habit of saying it when you first met someone.

That laugh, nothing more than a slight ease of tension from you, only served to captivate the young male further.

He was in way over his head, and it was only a matter of time before both you and all of his brothers noticed.

One thing was for certain though, you no longer had to worry about him rejecting you.

#Hvitserk Ragnarsson #Hvitserk #vikings #hvitserk x ps reader #hvitserk x plus size reader #hvitserk x reader #hvitserk imagine #hvitserk ragnarsson x plus size reader #hvitserk ragnarsson x ps reader #hvitserk ragnarsson x reader #hvitserk ragnarsson imagine

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daydreamed-snippets · 3 years

Text

The bell above the entryway jingles as someone slips through the door. Looking up from their work, basting a hem in a customer’s pair of trousers, the villain freezes.

In the threshold of their store stands their nemesis’ young sidekick. Dressed in unassuming civilian clothing, they stroll in and begin to poke around the front displays of fitted ensembles, single and double-breasted suits, fine gowns, and the like.

The villain sits there for a minute. Willing themselves to blink, to swallow, or to move their fingers along the soft trouser fabric. Something to start up their heart that stopped dead at the sight.

It is the movement of a stack of neckties, knocked over by the sidekick that did the trick.

Obliging, their heart roars to life, hammering a threatening beat. Adrenaline dumps into their system like a drug as they flip up the presser foot on their industrial sewing machine, and slide their chair back. They flounder for the long metal bar they secured to the underside of their sewing table. Their powers teeming to life, ready to call specific metals they’d hidden throughout the back of the store to come into their waiting hands.

How the hell did their nemesis find this place anyway? This little hole-in-the-wall tailor shop, near the bottoms in Relictus City?

Damn it!

This place is lost now. Their livelihood would likely be burned to cinders in the upcoming crusade. How frustrating, since it took them months to vet a dozen or so locations before choosing this one. Sure that no hero of the Covenant would find it, only to be met with the sidekick’s appearance.

Or was this a joke? Did their nemesis need a hole patched in their super suit? Probably put there by the villain themselves. Their store wasn’t exactly a five-star boutique that most of the heroes preferred. Those were located in the more affluent parts of the city—where the sidekick should be perusing. Not here.

Or maybe this was just karma. The universe’s version of a kick in the teeth. Of punishing them for getting too complacent in this place. Of becoming too accustomed to working odd hours in the little shop then heading upstairs to the maisonette, their living quarters above. They’d placed their major bases (they had three) far from this location, hoping to avoid this very situation. No cross-contamination. They were smart about it.

Well, it looks like it didn’t work.

The villain tenses, ready for a fight as the sidekick makes their way through the store. Around unopened boxes and half-dressed mannequins. They sidestep a display case and approach the only other customer there who was browsing, trying to kill time while they waited on that hem. Rocking back on their heels, the sidekick smiled impishly. “Hey? Do you work here?”

Barely looking up from the rows of tabled dress shirts, the customer shakes their head and gestures towards the back of the store.

Fuck.

A power core they hid in the cabinetry near the cash register silently darts into the villain’s hand. They hold it behind their back, trying to stay out of sight until the last moment. This may get messy. And the civilian; their customer….

They glance over at them. Unassuming and pathetically ordinary. The villain supposes they would become an unavoidable casualty in this skirmish. Especially once their nemesis barges through the door, leveling the place.

Or maybe they could avoid bloodshed. That would be best given that they were probably outnumbered. Scores of Covenant guards and other lesser heroes waiting to pounce just outside of the large bay windows.

The villain takes a step back, hoping such a move wouldn’t draw any attention to themselves. Twelve steps in retreat would take them to the stairs that led to their apartment. If they could only make it…

“I know you’re there,” came the youthful voice. The villain startles, choosing to remain rooted to their spot. They would take their last stand here. The sidekick squeezes between stacks of boxes the villain has yet to unload and comes to the kiosk cash register. “So this is where you’ve been hiding.”

The villain swallowed, wondering if the kid was wearing a wire. If their nemesis could hear this interaction. If they were loving this ambush. “You’ve disguised this place pretty well. It was really hard to find. But the jig is up. I’m here.”

Even in the loose sweatshirt, beanie and jeans, the sidekick strikes a pose. Chest out, hands on their hips and a wry smile pulling at the corners of their mouth.

The villain let out a steadying breath and flips on the power core. It swells to life with a low hum.

“I see that,” they say, on edge. Ready to strike.

“You’re going to be grateful that it was me, and not someone else. You’ll see that I’m the only one fit for the job.”

“Excuse me?”

The sidekick let out an exasperated sigh. “Sorry. I’m really trying hard to sell myself. That’s what her—I mean, my friend told me to do.”

“...What?”

“You put the ‘help wanted’ ad online? Plus you have a sign out front. I’m here to apply.” They presented the actual sign, holding it up proudly. “I’m here for the job.”

“Ah…,” the villain scrambled to recover. “Do you have any prior experience?”

“Well, no,” they said, shuffling their feet. They place the sign on the kiosk before shoving their hands in the pocket of their sweatshirt. They look hopeful. “But I’m a quick learner.”

What. The. Hell?

“I need an experienced tailor,” the villain said, playing the part. Looking above the sidekick’s head, to the street outside their window. Where was their nemesis? What the hell is this? “I’ve been getting a lot of business lately, and I find myself a bit overwhelmed.”

“Ok, so I can’t sew,” the sidekick starts, “but I can do anything else you need me to. I can sweep, and dust. I can answer phones. I can manage your online store. I’m good with computers. Social media is practically my playground.” They catch the doubtful look on the villain’s face. “Oh, please! It would give you more time to, you know, sew and whatever else you do. I can start as an intern. For a week. No pay. If you don’t like me then you can yeet me out the door. Promise.”

“Ok…” This was an unusual tactic, but maybe their nemesis banked on the hope that the villain wouldn’t recognize them. Stil… they needed more information. Or at least time to figure out what was going on. “Why do you want to work here?”

The sidekick hesitates. “I need to get away...from where I’m at.” They look up at the villain reading their concerned expression. “Oh, no! It’s not like that. I’m not running away. I just want a… vacation.”

“You want a vacation doing menial work?”

“I want to get away. And to make some money while I do it. You know. To have an emergency fund. Just in case.” They shuffled their feet. “So do I got the job or not. I have six other places to go to before it gets dark. Maybe they’ll hire me if you don’t.”

Interesting. Very interesting. Especially if what the kid says is true that their nemesis doesn’t know that their sidekick is here at all, begging for a job. This could play in their favor. It would be risky. A big risk. On one hand, their nemesis could be playing the long game. Drawing this farce out. Goading the villain into revealing their associates. Base locations. Possible details of their plans. But if their nemesis had no idea the sidekick was here...

“Do your parents know you’re here?” the villain tentatively tries.

“I don’t live with my parents. But my legal guardian said I could do whatever I wanted with my free time. So, here I am.”

The villain holds their hand out for the crumpled piece of paper tucked in the sidekick’s front pocket. Their resume, the villain assumes and assumes correctly. The sidekick hands it over and they skim its contents.

Member of the Sidekick Foundation, though it doesn’t say in what capacity. So if the villain was truly clueless, they wouldn’t know if the sidekick was truly a sidekick or just as a full-time student. Their legal guardian is the superhero Fission. Only it doesn’t say that. No, the sidekick has put down Fission’s real name. And their real name. Their age—sixteen years old—and their skills.

Gods, this kid’s naivety was sickening. On this paper alone, the villain had more than what they could garnish from three months of reconnaissance. Names. Place of residence. Contact information.

“The store opens at 8 am,” the villain instructed, ignoring the sidekick’s delighted face. “Be here at seven. You can start by opening up these boxes, and putting the clothing on hangers. You’ll have to answer the phone if it rings while you’re doing this. Then the shop needs a good dusting and the bathroom in the back needs attention. You will get an hour lunch break, and the day ends at 4 pm.” The villain looked them up and down. “And try to wear something nicer than a sweatshirt.”

The sidekick breaks into a grin, thanks them profusely, and practically sprints out the door.

The villain hopes they won’t regret this.

#not a prompt #writing #short story #my wriring #villain #sidekick #tailor villain #superhero #superhero fission #hero #Heroes of Covenant #Relictus City #Sidekick Foundation

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youidiotprince · 3 years

Text

A Very Merry Ca$hqu€€ns Christmas

“No, Nora! Stay out!” Ava yelled from floor, scrambling to shield her nearly wrapped gift from Nora’s curious gaze. Nora had announced her presence with a quiet knock as she pushed open the door, hoping to catch Ava off guard and glimpse her gift.

“Why can’t I see, hm? If the present isn’t for me. . .” Nora teased, crossing her arms over her chest, feet still planted in the open doorway.

“Because I…” Ava floundered for an explanation that wouldn’t incriminate her, but she couldn’t string together the words. “Just because! It’ll ruin it either way, so you just have to get out.”

“If you say so.” Nora turned to leave, but as she closed the door behind her, she added, “I’m taking this as confirmation that you’re my Secret Santa, though.”

“Nora,” Ava groaned, grabbing the nearest item and throwing it at the now-closed door. When it fluttered to the ground only a foot or so in front of where she sat, she realized it was the glittery green bow she still had to stick atop her present. She’d opted for a more classic look, with red and white striped wrapping paper, thick and shiny, a purchase she’d splurged on for her gifts this year because she’d always liked the crisp lines and folds the more expensive papers made when wrapping. Nora’s gift, which she’d already put under the tree earlier that day, was wrapped in snowman-covered paper, something she’d had leftover from the year before, and maybe the year before that.

Ava peeled the backing from the sticky part of the bow and placed it, perfectly centered where the lines of ribbon intersected on top of her rectangular package. She could faintly hear the tinkling bells of the festive music Nora had just started playing, and she knew that was her cue to hurry it up.

With the package cradled under her arm, she left her room and called out to Nora, “Hey girl, what do you need me to do?”

Nora rounded the corner from the kitchen and eyed Ava’s now perfectly wrapped gift. “Ooh, that looks gorgeous,” Nora said with a mischievous look. “I can’t wait to open it.”

“Yeah, you wish,” Ava taunted with a smile. She placed her gift under the tree and brushed her hands clean of it. “Have you heard from the others yet?”

“Mm, they’re both on their way, they should be here any minute.”

The girls busied themselves plating the snacks they’d prepared and the cookies they’d baked until they heard a knock at the door, the thuds sounding in time with the cheesy Christmas carol playing over the speaker.

“Merry Friendsmas!” Mailin and Fatou shouted together, smiles spread almost as wide as their arms. Mailin modeled a headband with reindeer antlers stuck on top and red makeup on the tip of her nose, and Fatou wore a red and green patterned sweater trimmed with glittery tinsel around the neck, the wrists, and the bottom hem. They both held up their presents, Fatou’s in a wintery blue and silver giftbag and Mailin’s wrapped in what looked like newspaper or scrap paper of some sort. They’d dressed on theme, matching Nora’s all red look paired with a Santa hat and Ava’s cozy plaid Christmas pajamas. After a quiet beat during which they took in all their different looks, the girls erupted in excited chatter all at once, talking over each other in order to compliment and dissect their different outfits.

“That must be so itchy,” Nora told Fatou as Fatou told Ava how much she envied her cozy attire.

“Your nose!” Ava exclaimed to Mailin as she reached out almost close enough to touch it before Mailin flinched away.

“No, don’t ruin it yet. I forgot the lipstick at home,” Mailin admitted sheepishly. “Although it looks like I could just borrow Nora’s.” Nora puckered her red lips in response. She backed out of the way so they all could come in and make themselves comfy. They left their coats and boots in the entryway.

“Mulled wine, anyone?” Nora asked from the kitchen as Mailin and Fatou added their gifts to the pile in the main room and sat on the couch next to Ava. “I’ll be having hot chocolate, so that’s an option too.”

Ava and Fatou shared a look before Fatou answered for both of them, “Two mulled wines, please.”

“Oh wait, I’ll come help,” Mailin said as she leapt up from the couch and joined Nora in the kitchen. “Also, I’ll have a hot chocolate.”

Once they brought the drinks out to the others, they all settled into their easy rhythm, talking about the little details of their lives that had happened since they’d last seen each other, recounting some of their best and worst holiday memories before they met each other. Nora opened up about the year that her mother hadn’t gotten anyone any gifts and Kiki, trying to fix everything, went out and bought Nora a box of colored pencils and a coloring book and Zoe a bracelet-making kit with the small amount of money she had. It hadn’t been much but it had meant the world to both of them. Zoe made each of the sisters a bracelet, and she wondered if Kiki or Zoe still had theirs. Fatou shared that one of the best presents she ever received was a book about marine biology with lots of pictures of marine life. She told them that her brother made fun of her endlessly about it, but he was always looking over her shoulder as she’d read through it.

When they felt like they’d run out of stories, they sang carols and karaoke in pairs until Zoe hollered from her room for them to quiet down, and while the singing might have stopped, they didn’t actually adjust their volume much. Eventually, feeling like a little kid who’d been trying their best to wait patiently for the chance to open presents but who just couldn’t hold it in any longer, Ava admitted, “Girls, I can’t take it anymore. We need to do the gift exchange already.”

“Oh, you’re right!” Mailin gasped, as if she’d completely forgotten about the main event of the evening.

Nora clapped and then wiggled her fingers together excitedly, looking slowly at each of her friends. “Who wants to go first?”

“I will,” Fatou said, straining to reach the gift she’d left with the others. She finally snagged the handle with the tip of her finger, so she pulled it over and sat back upright. “Okay, drumroll please.” The girls started pounding their fists on their legs or on the floor, whichever was closer. “This is for… Ava!” Fatou held the gift out to her with a flourish, beaming.

“Chibi,” Ava said warmly, taking the decently sized bag from Fatou’s hand. It was stuffed with white tissue paper which Ava crumpled into a ball and handed to Nora, who was collecting the trash. Beneath all of that was the edge of a sleek black frame, which Ava pulled out carefully. The frame enclosed a photo of the stars in the night sky with a date underneath: October 2, 2020. Ava brushed her fingertips over the glass, hovering just above so as not leave a smudge.

“It’s a print of the constellations on the first day we all hung out together, when we stole that money,” Fatou blurted. “I know you’ve been looking for things to decorate the place with, and that day is so important to me, to us. This seemed like a good gift because we both love the universe and space and astrology so much.”

“Fatou, this is incredible.” Ava’s voice was full of genuine awe. “Seriously, this is perfect, I love it so much. We should all have one of these, honestly.” Nora and Mailin were craning their necks to get a better look, so Ava passed the print to them. As they admired it, Ava turned to Fatou. There was no way Fatou could know just how much this meant to her. How lame and lonely and insecure she felt before as she tried to rebuild her life here without a solid friend group, how difficult it was to watch other people find these friend groups that seemed like they’d last for life while Ava had paper thin friendships that were haunted by the words of her bullies, the doubts and fears they’d implanted in her. Ava felt as though this group of girls, this group of best friends, had finally allowed her to embrace herself with the confidence she had only ever faked before. Fatou couldn’t know how much that day meant to her in particular, but still, it felt like maybe she did, at least a little bit. “Thank you, Fatou. Really.”

“You’re welcome, Ava,” she said as she rested her head on Ava’s shoulder and snuggled closer, patting Ava’s knee tenderly.

After a few moments, Ava offered, “Okay, I’ll go next, and we can just go whoever receives the gift can give the next one? If that works out.” Everybody nodded so Ava grabbed her gift and settled back down on the couch. “Okay, this lovely, award-winning wrapping is for none other than… Mailin.”

“I get the best wrapped one,” Mailin said as she excitedly took the present from Ava and shook it next to her ear. When she brought it back down in front of her, she hesitated. “I almost don’t want to open it! But alas,” she said, and with that she ripped open the paper to reveal a jewelry box with a brand label printed on it that she’d never heard of. When she lifted the lid, she saw two sets of earrings, one set of green and blue tie-dye rectangular pendants with “climate” engraved in one and “justice” engraved in the other and one set of large globe earrings.

“They’re made from completely recycled materials, and the proceeds went to a campaign for climate justice here in Germany. And they just seemed so you,” Ava explained, motioning between the new earrings and the earrings Mailin was currently wearing, which were big candy canes dangling from her ears.

“No, these are awesome, I’ve been trying to develop my collection of fun earrings. These are fun and make a statement. Thank you. Okay, my turn.” Mailin jumped up to grab her newspaper package. “Special eco-friendly wrapping,” she boasted. “Hope you enjoy.” With that, she handed the gift off to Nora without much ceremony, which added its own bit of surprise.

“For me? Ah, okay, I’m excited,” Nora said as she tore into the newspaper. Underneath it all was a thick stack of shipping labels, some used and some unused. The used ones were obviously an attempt at recycling, which Nora appreciated. The sticker at the top of the stack already had a note on it, which must have been written by Mailin, as it said, “Coupon for free shipping label retrieval and delivery for a year. Ask and you will receive.”

“Those are what you used to do your drawings on when you left them around the city, right? I know you’ve probably worn yourself out with all the drawings you’ve done for our shirts, but as a token of appreciation for all of that, I will provide you with shipping label sticker things whenever you need them.” Mailin finished her explanation with a proud smile.

“This is really thoughtful, Mailin. I’ll definitely take you up on this coupon offer,” Nora said with a wink. She then turned to Fatou. “So it’s just you and me,” Nora joked, handing her gift off to Fatou.

“This box is light, I wonder what it could be,” Fatou said as she ripped off the paper. She was only teasing Nora about the weight of the box, but when she opened it all the way and looked inside, it really was empty. Just completely empty. Fatou looked up, confused, and made eye contact with Ava. Ava’s stomach lurched. It couldn’t be. Had Nora forgotten a gift? She wouldn’t do that to Fatou, would she? And if she had forgotten, why would she just wrap an empty box? She hated herself for thinking it, but after everything she’d been through, she couldn’t keep the thought away that maybe this was a prank, that maybe Nora’s friendship with all of them was some kind of prank. It was just a nagging thought in the back of her mind, it couldn’t possibly be true, but she still couldn’t ignore it, not completely.

At the same time, Fatou and Ava turned to look at Nora, trying to work out what exactly was going on, but she was engrossed in something on her phone, her lips turning up into a smile. How could she be so callous?

“Nora,” Fatou started, voice quiet and hesitant. Before she could say more, three phones buzzed with a new message, and Nora looked up, smile growing. Fatou had planned to ignore the text, but now she was suspicious. She grabbed her phone from her pocket and opened the message, her phone redirecting her to WhatsApp. There, in the ca$hqu€€ns groupchat, was a collection of stickers, some actual photos and some drawings, of axolotls. The drawings had the axolotls pulling funny facial expressions, emoting in different ways. A smile here, a frown there, a wink and a stuck-out tongue. Fatou felt Ava exhale beside her.

“I’m sorry for the empty box, I wanted to give you something to unwrap even though the gift was virtual, but my timing ended up being kind of off with that one,” Nora said, sheepish. “And they’re not exactly emojis, but they’re close, right?”

“My axolotl emoji,” Fatou said almost dreamily.

“Nora, these are awesome,” Mailin chimed in from beside her.

“Thanks. If you want any other facial expressions, just let me know.”

A content silence stretched between the girls, everyone feeling comfortable and warm, processing the gifts they’d just given and received.

“Guys, this was so great, I… you don’t understand how happy I am right now. You guys are the best.” Ava’s heart swelled with something that felt like pride, maybe, that these were the people she chose, that these were the people who chose her. Of course Nora wouldn’t let any of them down like that, not on purpose. None of them would. They all loved and respected each other too much. “The ca$hqu€€ns were written in the stars, you guys. We were fated.”

At Ava’s moment of vulnerability, all of the girls rushed to wrap her in the tightest group hug, falling all over each other and ending up in a messy pile of cuddles. Limbs tangled and faces smushed, and when they finally started to pull away a bit, Mailin took one look at Ava’s cheek and sighed.

“Oh no, I smeared my nose on your cheek.”

#alteradventcalendar #druck #druck fic #cashqueens #ava pereira #fatou jallow #nora machwitz #mailin richter

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purge-that-urge-rhackathon · 3 years

Text

Spoons? What spoons?

Hi yall! Been meaning to check in for a while :3 put under a read more cuz goddamn it has been a while.

SO when last we met LOLOL or some other opener... xD

Dad

Dad’s doing as well as can be expected. His brain is more or less getting back to normal (mom says its not; I told her she’s just seeing him for the first time proper and all the cruel shit he’s saying/doing is very much in-character for him when he’s not always stoned, but thanks to therapy I have the words and stuff to communicate all that abusive shit to her now; I love him but I hate him but we’ll touch on that xD). He’s had three amputations so far and he’s developed osteomyelitis (bone infection) so he’s been doing 2hr ‘dives’ in the Hyperbaric chamber every other day to fight it up to 10 dives. I’m told its $200,000 treatment which their new health insurance is fully paying for cuz one surgery already hit the $20,000 premium (don’t even get me started on THAT fight I had to do to get them signed up so we’d still have a place to live- they don’t ‘believe’ in insurance cuz they dont know shit... lawsuits are still pending and will be for the next 2-3yrs i expect). So... yeah. Mom has stepped up with a lot of stuff and she’s better educated on it all too thank fuck.

Thank fuck for therapy

The entire time dad’s stuff has been taking place, I’ve been attempting therapy, which was never explained to me properly/offered of ‘why am i here’ sort of thing, soooo about 4months (5-6 sessions of 30min therapy) turned out to be a COMPLETE waste of time. I’m on mediCal and the clinic they assigned me to only deals with mild-moderate trauma and can only see me for max. of six months when most patients make an improvement. Asking the therapist when we’d actually get to the trauma and triggers and all the other shit I’ve been pursuing therapy for two years over resulted in some clarity and I’ve been putting off making the phone call X_X My therapist only deals with singular trauma, and she said I have complex/multiple trauma with PTSD, and there’s no possible way (in my opinion and hers as well) I’d get any modicum of ‘better’ in six months cuz I’m too damaged, so like... that’s fun to know. I’ve been living in denial about my quality of life for decades and hearing it from a professional has considerably destroyed my sense of self (as it should tbh cuz these rose colored glasses are made of broken bottles LOL). Everything about myself revolves around survival tactics so I’m kind of floundering about living in lies (cuz coming to terms with trauma you’ve convinced yourself doesn’t actually bother you too much will do that, and ‘fawning’ is apparently one of the flight/fight responses and hardcore how i’ve lived these past decades) sooooo that’s what I’m dealing with and it’s super painful to come to terms with. If you’ve ever had to eat fast-food ketchup packets cuz you’re so hungry as a child and there’s nothing else you can have and they’re free, WELP then you might have a very very small window of what my quality of life has been like (: and me and my sister just thought we were fat kids for always being hungry constantly LOL

Also thank fuck for brain medication

On the good news end, I’ve officially been medicated just over 2months for my adhd :D I’m on atomoxetine (strattera) and it’s COMPLETELY gotten rid of my executive dysfunction, I can get up in the morning regardless of how much sleep I’ve gotten, and I have much more energy and motivation to do stuff :) My medication isn’t a stimulant but works on the adrenal glands (which I suspected from various other body ailments might be the source of a LOT of my problems-- especially the chronic fatigue- and if the meds took them away, then I was right, and they did, so.... adrenal gland fixer yay!) and anyways it’s improved life a lot. It gives me goosebumps sometimes too which is funny but I’m real happy with it. If anyone has any questions, I’ve always been a loud mouth irl about my disorders in order to be visible and unashamed for others, and I’ve helped a lot of peers irl with mental bullshit and I’m always willing to pay it forward! :)

The doom and gloom stuff xD

I’m trying to get back into writing. Desperately. I spend time at night writing a couple of sentences when it’s quiet, but then I usually pass out in five minutes cuz tbh I don’t really sleep anymore and I haven’t since dad’s accident so progress on my creative endeavors is going very very slow. Lord knows I have the fucking time rn. I’ve been getting one shift a week at work since June cuz there’s NO hours, so I’m freaking out about money (i’m probably gonna open commissions again), and my life, and my age, and how I’ll never get out of fucking debt at this rate, and how I’m so fucking mentally fucked cuz I can’t do two/three jobs with my fucking adhd and shit, and I want to move out but I can’t live with other people cuz of the aforementioned trauma/distrust and it’s not like anywhere is affordable anyways in this hell country soooo. Yeah. I’m at the point of taking out balance transfers from credit cards to deposit cash into my bank account cuz i can’t fucking survive otherwise and I guess I’ll figure that out next month. I joke around but are any of you an escort/have you done that kind of work before/could I ask questions? >_> I need options. If I could sell an organ for about $25k i’d just do that but i AM desperate and I’m open to any and all suggestions for quick cash no matter how demeaning. Can’t demean someone who’s used to it all their life! :D Real talk tho i’m not kidding, if anyone could point me to some resources, DM me :|

So yeah that’s what’s up in a nutshell. Really REALLY wanna write and finish some shit... existential dread and basic survival is getting in the way of that. Bear with me though, it’s been a very very tough year but nothing has been abandoned and I’m definitely around. Just rarely have the spoons to do shit :D

#poisonjack jabbers #you'd never guess i once had a million-dollar life insurance policy would you? or a government job with perks. fuck i miss japan.#i've got 4 side hustles that bring in maybe $200 every other month/every three months and its low maintenance but it aint enough #i promise im not miss negativity i'm just burnt out and disappointed with myself that im not doing more while i have the time :\#i'd love to go back to bartending but i can't mask anymore and most of the assholes at bars rn are unvaxxed and im vaxxed but still at risk #theres a bikini bar in town i thought to apply to but i need to lose some weight first before they'll accept me and thats hard x_x #anywho im pretty certain im gonna open fic commissions again sooooo thats something :D

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

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Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch3: Man, You Really Are As Dumb As You Look. Part 1 Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Summary: Evan asks Stella on a date, Jake’s not impressed and the entire thing takes him on a little trip down memory lane…

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT via flashback in Part 2 (NSFW 18+)

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

A/N: So the smut in this chapter is way back when the pair of them were kids. Both 18 before anyone says anything, and is designed to be a truthful reflection of a fist time! We hope you enjoy it because it certainly made us giggle a lot.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 2

It was a sunny fall morning, and for a Monday Jensen actually felt pretty good. He walked down the corridor, his heavy boots slapping lightly on the lino floor, whistling to himself. He stepped aside to let a pretty red head out of one of the rooms, turning to watch her walk away, grinning to himself as his eyes dropped to her combat trouser clad ass before he shook his head and continued his route to the office.

He walked in with a loud “S’up losers” and looked around “Where’s Stel?” he asked, nodding to her vacant desk.

“She got a call about 10 minutes ago and said she was heading for a coffee.” Pooch said, as Cougar gave a chuckle. “And no prizes for who was on the phone given the way she was grinning and telling us not to be nosey bastards as she left.” “Who?” Jake plopped down onto his chair, turning in it so he could see Cougar and Pooch, his legs extending in front of him.

“Man you really are as dumb as you look.” Pooch shook his head as Cougar continued to grin.

As he suddenly realised what Pooch was alluding to, Jensen’s eyes flew open wide “Don’t tell me it’s that guy from the bar the other night?”

“Yup” Cougar nodded “Clearly they traded numbers...”

Jake suddenly felt hot and there was an annoying buzzing in his ears. Swallowing he took a deep breath and shook his head “Nah, that’s not Stel.”

“What do you mean it’s not Stel?” Pooch frowned.

“She only met him like last Friday.” Jensen shrugged

“She’s not 10 anymore Jensen.” Pooch looked at Cougar “What, you expect her to wait for 7 years for this one as well?”

Jensen narrowed his eyes “That’s…that was different, we were kids.”

“Well she’s not a kid anymore.” Cougar smirked, picking up his phone “And she’s hot and free.”

“Yeah, what exactly did you think would happen?” Pooch asked.

“I-“ Jensen looked at him, then to Cougar, both of them watching him as he floundered for a response “-guess I don’t...”

“Nothing.” Cougar cut him off, looking at Pooch “The answer is nothing, because he acts like a dumbass and never thinks about what he’s doing.” “I was doing your momma last night.” Jake shot at him and Pooch snorted whilst Cougar shook his head with a groan which morphed into a grudging chuckle. Momma jokes were a well-worn jest between the group and it was an unwritten rule that when someone dropped one, no offense was meant or taken.

“Oh really?” Pooch turned to look at Jake, arching an eyebrow “Since when has Coug’s momma been called Stella, coz that’s all I heard you groaning from my apartment, and I live a floor down…” Cougar let out a howl of laughter as Jake glared at Pooch “You still get yourself off thinking about her. You’re screwed up, man!”

“No, that’s…I wasn’t jacking off last night!” Jake shook his head, “Pooch is talking shit.”

“Yeah but, made you blush!” Pooch winked and Jake took a deep breath, his cheeks flushed with heat. “Oh my God you actually do!” Cougar snorted.

“Fuck you both.” Jake groaned as he stood up and stormed from the office, bumping into Roque on his way.

“Hey Jensen where’s the fire?” Roque watched him go, before he turned and walked into the room “Where’s that ray of sunshine going?”

Pooch scoffed “He’s craving coffee all of a sudden.”

Roque frowned as Cougar let out another deep chuckle.

***** “So, not suit today?” Stella asked, taking in Evan’s casual appearance. He was dressed in a white Henley and black jeans which was a stark contrast to the crisp suit she’d first seen him wearing in this very place a week ago.

“No, I only wear that when I have some hot-shot boss to impress.” He smiled as he placed Stella’s coffee down on the table, gracefully sitting down in the seat opposite her.

“Suppose that’s the beauty of being in uniform.” Stella grinned, thanking him for the coffee. “Don’t have to worry about office wear!”

“Yeah, probably one thing I miss about being in active service.” Evan agreed. “Actually, come to think about it, it’s the only thing I miss about being in active service.”

Stella chuckled and picked up the large mug in her hands, inhaling deeply. “Man, I love Pumpkin Spiced Lattes” she grinned.

“I can tell.” Evan smiled “You’re practically purring over it.”

Stella shrugged “I wait all year for these things and besides, the last one I had ended up all over some guy’s shirt.”

“Poor guy.” Evan quipped, his eyes on hers as he took a sip of his own drink.

“Yeah, I basically scalded him.” Stella shrugged, “And he didn’t deserve it either, turns out he was a pretty nice guy.” “A nice guy that spent all day smelling of cinnamon and whatever else they put in a pumpkin spiced latte.” “Win-win as far as I’m concerned” Stella grinned, setting her cup down. “I like that smell.” “Maybe you should contact Starbucks’ head office.” Evan set his own cup down gently, his large hand still curled round it “Suggest they release a cologne.”

“Uh-uh, bad idea.” Stella swallowed another sip of her coffee. “I wouldn’t be able to resist. I’d be following every guy wearing it round like some kind of animal tracking pheromones.” Evan let out a loud laugh and Stella grinned watching him for a second before his laughter died into quieter chuckles and she cocked her head to the side a little “You know, I was surprised you called me.”

“Why’s that?” he frowned slightly

She shrugged “I dunno, I just thought you were fooling around at the bar and that you’d end up in some other girls’ bed that night.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she inwardly groaned “Shit. I didn’t mean that how it sounded…”

“Well, if you must know I didn’t.” Evan said, his voice harbouring a trace of humour “I ended up cradling my friend’s head whilst he puked his drunk ass up all over his bathroom.”

“Sounds a lot more boring.” Stella laughed.

“To be honest, by the time we left the bar I was almost as drunk as he was so it was actually quite funny. We may or may not have trashed his apartment whilst we were on a collision course to the bathroom so…”

“Well as long as you weren’t drunk ass driving and on a collision course to his apartment.”

“No, I don’t drink and bike.” He grinned.

“You have a bike?” Stella looked at him, her interest even more piqued. The guy was hot, looked good in a suit, looked equally hot in casuals and now she was imagining him a leather jacket, boots…she glanced around a little as if she half expected someone with a hidden camera to pop out at her and tell her this was a set up.

“Yup, nice little Ducatti.” Evan spoke and she looked back at him. “I had to go back for it the next day. I wasn’t intending on drinking but, well, we’d had a busy week so it was nice to kick back.” “I know that feeling.” Stella smiled, taking another sip of her drink. As she did so she noticed Evan looking over her shoulder, a slight frown on his face “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, sorry, just trying to figure out why that guy over there is looking at me like he wants to kill me.” Stella frowned and turned round, letting out a groan as she spotted Jake. He hastily turned to the barista, handing over his money, when he saw her looking and she shook her head, turning back to Evan.

“Will you excuse me for a moment?” she asked, before she stood up and made her way over.

“What are you playing at?” she demanded and Jake looked at her.

“Me? Nothing, I just wanted a coffee.” He shrugged.

“You can’t like to me JJ.” She arched an eyebrow. “Pooch and Coug tell you I was here?”

“Might have mentioned it.”

“Right, well you can take your coffee and go and stop giving my date dirty looks.”

“Date?” Jensen scoffed

Stella groaned, she hadn’t meant to use that…as this wasn’t a date, it was just coffee. “No, it’s not...”but as she looked at Jensen she stopped, frowning “Why did you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like it was utterly ridiculous?”

“I didn’t…”

“Is it so hard to believe that someone might want to date me?”

“Well yeah, I mean no…I mean…”

“You know what? I’m actually not interested in your opinion so…”

“Stell, don’t…” Jake sighed, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Stella narrowed her eyes “Because I’ve got a pretty long list of things you’ve been a jerk about.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Jake mumbled, taking the coffee from the barista “Look, I gotta go do some…stuff.”

Stella watched him leave with narrowed eyes before she made her way back to the table where Evan was watching with interest.

“Friend of yours?” he asked as she sat down.

“No, well yeah…sorta.” She rubbed at her temple “It’s a long story.”

“I got time.” He shrugged.

Stella took a deep breath “Ok, short version is we met when we were 11, started dating when we were 17, he ended it 4 years later, only he didn’t…”

“Wait, he finished with you?” Evan cut her off and Stella nodded. “There’s definitely something wrong with him.”

Stella blinked before she let out a little huff of laughter “And now we ended up in the same team under Clay. So yeah, it’s kinda messy but it’s definitely over this time. Thing is I still want to be friends, we’ve known each other for so long but…” she groaned and shook her head “Sorry, I’m rambling and I don’t wanna scare you off before we’ve even starts…” she swallowed and shook her head as Evan’s eyes widened a little “Shit, that was presumptuous of me, I mean if you wanna start something…”

She trailed off, shaking her head, cursing herself for rambling as Evan leaned forward, his eyes twinkling.

“Well I’m kinda hoping you’re gonna let me start by taking you to dinner.”

She blinked “What? I mean, yeah, of course…dinner. Great.”

Evan let out a soft laugh “What are you doing tonight?”

“Um, tonight?” Stella looked at him” Nothing, I guess.”

“So how about it?” he asked “I know a great place in DC. I can pick you up?”

“Sure.” Stella swallowed, feeling the heat in her cheeks “I’d like that.” “Ok, settled.” Evan nodded, picking up his coffee “You know, considering Monday’s normally suck, I think I lucked out on this one. I got a second date on the same day as the first.”

“Oh so this is the first?” Stella teased.

“It absolutely is. At least it was in my head when I asked you to join me.” Evan winked.

“Hmmm, not convinced it counts.” Stella quipped.

“We can agree to disagree.” Evan shrugged “I mean, I’d hate to argue on our first date.”

Stella looked at him, before she shook her head snorting before she glanced at her watch “Shit, I really do have to go. I’m due on the range in 20.”

“I should be getting back to.” Evan nodded “You wanna text me your address and I’ll pick you up say 7:30?”

“Sure, that is a date.” She winked standing up and he laughed.

“Glad we agree on that one.”

***** Stella tossed her kit bag down on the floor and made her way to the bedroom, flopping down on her bed with a loud groan. The day had been hectic and now she wanted nothing more than to have a hot back and crawl into bed, but that wasn’t gonna happen as she had a date.

A date which she wasn’t particularly looking forward to anymore. Jensen had behaved like a petulant brat all afternoon, undermining her every instruction with the team they’d been leading through an exercise and she knew he was doing it deliberately. He was always the same, when something happened that he couldn’t process he went one of two ways. Either completely over the top childish humour or sullen spiteful brattishness, and today he had chosen the latter. The problem was, that whilst Stella knew she shouldn’t be bothered that he was clearly upset she was dating someone else, she was bothered. She felt guilty. And she knew it was pathetic. But she just couldn’t help it.

With a groan she reached into her pocket, ready to ring her so called best friend to attempt to talk things over when it lit up in her hand and she let out another loud growl of frustration as she realised it was her sister facetiming her. She debated whether or not she should answer but decided she better had or Rey would simply keep calling her all night.

“Hi.” She answered, a little unenthusiastically and Rey raised her eyebrows.

“Nice to talk to you too.” Rey said sarcastically.

“Sorry, it’s just been a really long day.” Stell sighed, before she fixed a smile on her face “You ok?”

“Yeah, just thought I’d check in. We haven’t talked in a while.” Rey smiled, brushing her long hair out of her face “Are you coming home any time soon?”

“Not until Thanksgiving.” Stella shrugged “Got a lot on. But I’ll be back for a week.”

“Ok, well I was gonna book me, you, mom, Jane and Janet into a spa for a day, my treat…well, Richard’s, but whatever. You fancy it?”

“Sure.” Stella nodded “That sounds great, thanks.”

“You could be a little more enthusiastic.” Rey rolled her eyes “Are you sure you’re ok?”

Stella scratched at her head and took a deep breath “No. I’m not. I mean, I should be but…”

“Hey, Stel…” Rey’s expression softened as she saw the tears forming in Stel’s eyes “What’s wrong?” “I have a date tonight.” Stella said and Rey frowned.

“So? You and Jake go out all the time. What’s the-“

“It’s not with Jake.” Stella swallowed “Jake and I…look, that’s over. And I mean it this time, he called quits.”

“Wait, wait…let me get this straight.” Rey frowned “You’re going on a date with someone that isn’t Gi-Joe?”

“Yeah.” “And you’re…upset about this?”

“Not upset so much. I feel guilty Rey.” Stella shook her head “Guilty about Jake and I know that’s stupid and-“ “You’re damned right it’s stupid!” Rey exploded “Fuck Stella, I love Jake to bits, despite the fact we fight all the time, you know I do but…well he dumped you like 5 years ago and I saw how broken you were…and then you got into that whole fucked up arrangement, which, for the record the pair of you may as well have still been dating, but that’s by the by. You’re not together, you have nothing to feel guilty about. And if he’s making you feel like that then he’s being a fucking prick but more to the point if you’re letting him make you feel like that, then you’re being a fucking prick too.”

“Wow, tough love much?” Stella mumbled, wiping at her eye.

“Yeah well you need it.” Rey frowned. “Fuck Stelly, it’s about time you got out there. You’re not thinking of cancelling are you?”

“No.” Stella shook her head. “Evan’s a really nice guy, I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to.”

“Evan huh?” Rey raised her eyebrows “What’s he like? Ooh, send me a picture.”

“What? I don’t have a picture of him!” Stella scoffed “I’ve met the guy like 3 times now. The first time I tipped coffee all down him.”

“Ooh, how very Notting Hill!” Rey said and Stella laughed.

“I hate that film.”

“I know.” Rey grinned, “So, come on, tell me about him, and I want ALL the details!” Stella took a deep breath and began to explain to Rey about how she’d met Evan and then bumped into him in a bar, how they’d met for coffee that morning, what he looked like, what she knew about him so far and by the time she finished the smile was back on her face and she knew instantly what her sister had done. She’d made her focus on why she’d liked Evan in the first place. Classic distraction technique, and it had worked. For all their bitching and arguing, Stella wouldn’t change her big sister for the world, and this was one of the reasons why. She was a brilliant confident and made Rey see things that half the time she was blind to.

“Damned, he sounds great.” Rey’s face split into a grin “I’m almost jealous.”

“Well, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Stella shrugged “It might go to shit after this date.”

“That’s the spirit, positive thinking…” Rey rolled her eyes, “Fuck Stella, don’t go into it thinking like that.”

“I’m not, I mean I won’t…” Stella took a deep breath as she checked her watch “Ah fuck, it’s half 6…I need to get ready. I only have an hour.”

“Ok, where is he taking you?”

“No idea.” Stella shrugged “Some place in DC. All he said in his message was to be ready for 7:30 and the dress code was smart casual…”

“Right, so this I can help with.” Rey grinned. “Stand up…go to your closet…” Stella did as she was told, heaving herself off her bed. “Turn the phone around so I can examine your wardrobe…” Rey made a twirling motion with her finger and Stella obliged. “Hmmm” she heard her sister mumbled. “I forgot what your dress sense is like. How long did you say we have?”

“Fuck you.” Stella laughed as Rey chuckled.

*****

Under Rey’s sharp eye they settled on a long sleeved, navy blue sweater dress that finished just below her knees, teamed with a pair of knee high, tan suede, slouch boots with a small heel. With a hum of approval, Rey told her she’d “knock him dead” before hanging up and allowing her to finish getting ready not after offering Stella one final piece of advice.

“Leave the jacket at home.” Rey grinned “Then, you can test his chivalry level when or if he offers you’re his jacket.”

Stella rolled her eyes and hung up before she headed for a quick shower, taking care not to wet her hair as it would never dry in time. Luckily, thanks to the fact it had been in a French braid all day, when she took it down it fell round her face in loose waves and actually looked like she’d meant it to look that way. She did her make-up, keeping it simple with a light brown smoky effect and grabbing her purse, took a last look in the mirror and headed out of her room.

Evan arrived at 7:30 on the dot, just as promised and as she made her way outside she smiled as he was stood, leaning against a sleek black Mercedes. He was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a cream button down and a tweed jacket with brown boots. Stella smiled as he stood up straight and opened the door to the car for her.

“You look lovely.” He complimented and she smiled.

“Thanks, you look pretty good yourself”.

“Glad you approve, hate to think I was showing you up.” He winked as she settled into the passenger seat.

Evan drove them the 20 minutes or so into DC. The restaurant he had picked was lovely. Not too fancy, but nice enough to be a little bit more special than a run-of-the-mill evening out the Losers often shared. Evan was an absolute gentleman, opening the car door for her, the restaurant door to allow her in first, taking her coat to hand to the Maître-D, pulling her chair out for her. The food and drink was amazing, Stella ordering a gorgeous grilled steak and prawn salad, Evan opting for a burger which Stella commented looked big enough to feed her entire team. They split a bottle of rich and earthy red wine, Evan having driven didn’t want any more and neither of them wanted a hangover at work, not to mention Stella was conscious about getting drunk on their first date. The conversation was easy, that wasn’t a shock given how it had been between them in the bar the other night and over coffee, but this time they got to know each other a little better. Stella found out that Evan married at 22, divorced at 26 after his wife decided she couldn’t cope any more with him being away for long periods of time. He had no kids, parents both dead, and he’d been working for the CIA now for 2 years after deciding he’d had enough of life in the Navy.

None of it was forced, there was no awkwardness, and the 3 hours they spent together flew by and Stella wasn’t surprised therefore to find that when he pulled his black Mercedes C-class into the parking lot outside her condo building, she was really disappointed the evening had come to an end.

Evan cut the engine and Stella smiled to herself, her fingers running over the seatbelt. “So, the car is nice and all but I kinda wished I’d got to see your bike.”

“Well, I’m not sure that dress you’re wearing would have been very practical for riding pillion, Doll but-“ he turned to face her, his blue eyes locking onto hers as he smiled, and she didn’t miss the little nervous twitch of his lips “-maybe there’ll be another date so I can take you out on it?”

The fact it was a question didn’t pass Stella by and she felt the heat in her neck as she smiled gently “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Evan beamed “Great, that’s great.” He paused before he gestured over his shoulder “Let me walk you to the door.”

Stella didn’t bother to point out she was a lethal trained killing machine. Instead she nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear as Evan climbed out of his car and made his way round to the passenger side, opening her door. He held out his hand to help her out and once she was clear he shut the door and they walked side by side to the entrance, Stella still had his jacket draped over her shoulders from when they’d stepped out of the restaurant. He’d passed Rey’s test with flying colours after he’d dropped it over her shoulders without so much as a word when he saw her shiver slightly in the brisk, October air. Once they reached the door Stella stopped, removed it from her shoulders it off and he took it with a thanks as she reached into her bag for her key. She looked up at Evan who finished shrugging his jacket back on and she smiled.

“I had a really good time tonight, thank you.”

Evan took a deep breath, a cheeky expression lighting up his handsome face.

“Yeah, you know, considering you had so little faith in the fact I’d even call you, I think I did pretty well.” He quipped as she laughed “Two dates on the same day and a promise of a third…”

“Yeah, I’m still not sure that coffee this morning counts as a date.” Stella arched her eyebrow and Evan made a clicking noise with his tongue.

“Pity, because I had it on good authority that the second date was an acceptable moment to have a first kiss.” He looked at her and Stella swallowed, her eyes flicking to his lips before she hastily moved her gaze back to his, but the amusement in his eyes told her he’d seen.

“Ok, well, maybe I can be persuaded that coffee this morning counts.” She bit her lip.

Evan grinned, and reached out with one hand, curling it lightly against her hip as he dipped his head to hers, catching her mouth in a soft, sweet kiss. It wasn’t long, it wasn’t especially passionate but it was perfect for the moment. When they pulled away Evan smiled and stepped back, allowing her to open the door which he leaned over and pushed for her, his palm holding it in place so she could step inside.

“See you later” he smiled.

“Yeah, yeah you will.”

With a final glance over her shoulder, Stella headed for the elevator and selected her floor, sliding the key card into the slot. As the doors shut she leaned against the wall, a smile flickering on her face. She’d had a lovely evening, the kiss being the icing on the cake. She let out a little sigh as she realised that Evan was the first person she’d kissed since she’d started dating Jake (well, not counting Roque if you could even count that) and it had felt completely different. Her first kiss with Jake had sent tingles through her entire body, like someone had set off fireworks in her stomach, whereas that with Evan had been a softer flutter, like butterflies.

But, she supposed that was the difference between being a hormonal 17 year old kissing her first boyfriend and the now more mature and world-wise 26 year old she was.

At that point the doors to the elevator opened and she pushed herself off the wall and stepped through them.

****

Jake opened the door to his apartment, pulling it shut behind him and glanced up as he heard the elevator doors open. Stella stepped onto the landing, looking in her bag before she glanced up and paused as she saw him. Jake took in her appearance. The long-sleeved woollen dress she was wearing finished just below the knees of boot clad legs and damned it, it hugged her curves in all the right way. She looked fucking amazing.

“You look nice.” He offered and she smiled.

“Thanks. I would say the same about you but…” she gestured to his sweats, scruffy red hoody and dirty sneakers and he scoffed shrugging.

“Yeah, well last time I checked you didn’t need to get dressed up to go to McDonalds so…”

“Seriously?” she looked at him “Your eating habits are ridiculous. It’s 10:45!”

“Yeah well, I wasn’t hungry before but now I am.” He shrugged

“Fair enough.” she chuckled and turned to head to her apartment.”

“Where you getting in from?” he asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer. He watched as she stopped and hesitated a little, before she drew her shoulders back and stood tall as she turned to face him.

“I’ve been on a date.” She said.

Yup, there it was.

“With that prick that bought you coffee this morning?” Jake blurted out and Stella narrowed her eyes dangerously.

“Don’t know who you’re referring to.” Stella looked at him “The only prick I know gets the munchies at almost 11 at night.”

Jake took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. “Piss off, Stel”

“No need to be rude Jacob.” She glowered and he raised his eyebrows.

“You just called me a prick and I’m the one who’s being rude?”

“Whatever Jake” it was her turn to roll her eyes.

“Whatever Stel…” he mimicked in a stupid voice and she shook her head.

“Grow up” and with that final barb she turned, opened her door and shut it loudly behind her leaving him staring at the solid wooden door that sported a large, brass 4a in the middle.

Jake simply stood there for a moment, before his hands dropped to his hips and he let out a heavy sigh, looking at the floor. Funnily enough he’d lost his appetite. With a final glance at her door he turned and let himself back into his own apartment, pulling out his phone.

When he found the number he wanted he pressed dial, and waited for them to answer…

****

Chapter 3 Part 2

#too loose and you'll lose it #jake jensen x ofc #jake jensen x original female character #jake jensen #the losers

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what-is-your-plan-today · 4 years

Text

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Ch 3- Man, You Really Are As Dumb As You Look…

Part 1

Summary: Evan asks Stella on a date, Jake’s not impressed and the entire thing takes him on a little trip down memory lane…

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT via flashback in Part 2 (NSFW 18+)

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

It was a sunny fall morning, and for a Monday Jensen actually felt pretty good. He walked down the corridor, his heavy combat boots slapping lightly on the lino floor, whistling to himself. He stepped aside to let a pretty red head out of one of the rooms, turning to watch her walk away, grinning to himself as his eyes dropped to her combat trouser clad ass before he shook his head and continued his route to the office.

He walked in with a loud “S’up losers” and looked around “Where’s Stel?” he asked, nodding to her vacant desk.

“Man you really are as dumb as you look.” Pooch shook his head as Cougar continued to grin.

As he suddenly realised what Pooch was alluding to, Jensen’s eyes flew open wide “Don’t tell me it’s that guy from the bar the other night?”

“Yup” Cougar nodded “Clearly they traded numbers...”

Jake suddenly felt hot and there was an annoying buzzing in his ears. Swallowing he took a deep breath and shook his head “Nah, that’s not Stel’s style.”

“What do you mean it’s not her style?” Pooch frowned.

“She only met him like last Friday.” Jensen shrugged “She moves slower, more cautious.”

“She’s not 11 now Jensen.” Pooch looked at Cougar “What, you expect her to wait for 6 years for this one as well?”

Jensen narrowed his eyes “That’s…that was different, we were kids.”

“Well she’s not a kid anymore.” Cougar smirked, picking up his phone “And she’s hot and free.”

“Yeah, what exactly did you think would happen?” Pooch asked.

“I-“ Jensen looked at him, then to Cougar, both of them watching him as he floundered for a response “-guess I don’t...”

Cougar let out a howl of laughter as Jake glared at Pooch “You still get yourself off thinking about her. You’re screwed up, man!”

“No, that’s…I wasn’t jacking off last night!” Jake shook his head, “Pooch is talking shit.”

“Yeah but, made you blush!” Pooch winked and Jake took a deep breath, his cheeks flushed with heat. “Oh my God you actually do!” Cougar snorted.

“Fuck you both.” Jake groaned as he stood up and stormed from the office, bumping into Roque on his way.

“Hey Jensen where’s the fire?” Roque watched him go, before he turned and walked into the room “Where’s that ray of sunshine going?”

Pooch scoffed “He’s craving coffee all of a sudden.”

Roque frowned as Cougar let out another deep chuckle.

***** “So, no suit today?” Stella asked, taking in Evan’s casual appearance. He was dressed in a white Henley and black jeans which was a stark contrast to the crisp suit she’d first seen him wearing in this very place a week ago.

“No, I only wear that when I have some hot-shot boss to impress.” He smiled as he placed Stella’s coffee down on the table, gracefully sitting down in the seat opposite her.

“Suppose that’s the beauty of being in uniform.” Stella grinned, thanking him for the coffee. “Don’t have to worry about office wear!”

“Yeah, probably one thing I miss about being in active service.” Evan agreed. “Actually, come to think about it, it’s the only thing I miss about being in active service.”

Stella chuckled and picked up the large mug in her hands, inhaling deeply. “Man, I love Pumpkin Spiced Lattes” she grinned.

“I can tell.” Evan smiled “You’re practically purring over it.”

Stella shrugged “I wait all year for these things and besides, the last one I had ended up all over some guy’s shirt.”

“Poor guy.” Evan quipped, his eyes on hers as he took a sip of his own drink.

“Why’s that?” he frowned slightly

“Well, if you must know I didn’t.” Evan said, his voice harbouring a trace of humour “I ended up cradling my friend’s head whilst he puked his drunk ass up all over his bathroom.”

“Sounds a lot more boring.” Stella laughed.

“Well as long as you weren’t drunk ass driving and on a collision course to his apartment.”

“No, I don’t drink and bike.” He grinned.

“Yeah, sorry, just trying to figure out why that guy over there is looking at me like he wants to kill me.” Stella frowned and turned round, letting out a groan as she spotted Jake stood in his combats at the counter. He hastily turned to the barista, handing over his money when he saw her looking and she shook her head, turning back to Evan.

“Will you excuse me for a moment?” she asked, before she stood up and made her way over.

“What are you playing at?” she demanded and Jake looked at her.

“Me? Nothing, I just wanted a coffee.” He shrugged.

“You can’t lie to me JJ.” She arched an eyebrow. “Pooch and Coug tell you I was here?”

“Might have mentioned it.”

“Right, well you can take your coffee and go and stop giving my date dirty looks.”

“Date?” Jensen scoffed

Stella groaned, she hadn’t meant to use that word as this wasn’t a date, it was just coffee. “No, it’s not...”but as she looked at Jensen she stopped, frowning “Why did you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like it was utterly ridiculous?”

“I didn’t…”

“Is it so hard to believe that someone might want to date me?” she demanded, hands falling to her hips.

“Well yeah, I mean no…I mean…”

“You know what? I’m actually not interested in your opinion so…”

“Stel, don’t…” Jake sighed, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Stella narrowed her eyes “Because I’ve got a pretty long list of things you’ve been a jerk about.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Jake mumbled, taking the coffee from the barista “Look, I gotta go do some…stuff.”

Stella watched him leave with narrowed eyes before she made her way back to the table where Evan was watching with interest.

“Friend of yours?” he asked as she sat down.

“Yeah, I think so..well-” She rubbed at her temple “It’s a long story.”

“I got time.” He shrugged.

Stella took a deep breath “Ok, short version is we met when we were 11, started dating when we were 17, he ended it 5 years later, only he didn’t really as we carried on…”

“Wait, he finished with you?” Evan cut her off and Stella nodded. “There’s definitely something wrong with him.”

Stella blinked before she let out a little huff of laughter “And now we ended up in the same team under Clay. So yeah, it’s kinda messy but it’s definitely over this time. Thing is I still want to be friends, we’ve known each other for so long but…” she groaned and shook her head “Sorry, I’m rambling and I don’t wanna scare you off before we’ve even started…” she swallowed and shook her head as Evan’s eyes widened a little “Shit, that was presumptuous of me, I mean if you wanna start something…”

She trailed off, shaking her head, cursing herself for her verbal diarrhoea as Evan leaned forward, his eyes twinkling.

“Well I’m kinda hoping you’re gonna let me start by taking you to dinner.”

She blinked “What? I mean, yeah, of course��dinner. Great.”

Evan let out a soft laugh “What are you doing tonight?”

“Um, tonight?” Stella looked at him” Nothing, I guess.”

“So how about it?” he asked “I know a great place in DC. I can pick you up?”

“Oh so this is the first?” Stella teased.

“It absolutely is. At least it was in my head when I asked you to join me.” Evan winked.

“Hmmm, not convinced it counts.” Stella quipped.

“We can agree to disagree.” Evan shrugged “I mean, I’d hate to argue on our first date.”

Stella looked at him, before she shook her head snorting before she glanced at her watch “Shit, I really do have to go. I’m due on the range in 20.”

“I should be getting back too.” Evan nodded “You wanna text me your address and I’ll pick you up say 7:30?”

“Sure, that is a date.” She winked standing up and he laughed.

“Glad we agree on that one.”

***** Stella tossed her kit bag down on the floor and made her way to the bedroom, flopping down on her bed with a loud groan. The day had been hectic and now she wanted nothing more than to have a hot bath and crawl into bed, but that wasn’t gonna happen as she had a date.

A date which she wasn’t particularly looking forward to anymore. Jensen had behaved like a petulant brat all afternoon, undermining her every instruction with the team they’d been leading through an exercise and she knew he was doing it deliberately. He was always the same, when something happened that he didn’t like he went one of two ways. Either completely over the top childish humour or sullen spiteful brattishness, and today he had chosen the latter. The problem was, that whilst Stella knew she shouldn’t be bothered that he was clearly upset she was dating someone else, she was bothered. She felt guilty. And she knew it was pathetic. But she just couldn’t help it.

“Hi.” She answered, a little unenthusiastically and Rey raised her eyebrows.

“Nice to talk to you too.” Rey said sarcastically.

“Sorry, it’s just been a really long day.” Stel sighed, before she fixed a smile on her face “You ok?”

“Yeah, just thought I’d check in. We haven’t talked in a while.” Rey smiled, brushing her long hair out of her face “Are you coming home any time soon?”

“Not until Thanksgiving.” Stella shrugged “Got a lot on. But I’ll be back for a week.”

“Ok, well I was gonna book me, you, mom, Jane and Janet into a spa for a day, my treat…well, Richard’s, but whatever. You fancy it?”

“Sure.” Stella nodded “That sounds great, thanks.”

“You could be a little more enthusiastic.” Rey rolled her eyes “Are you sure you’re ok?”

Stella scratched at her head and took a deep breath “No. I’m not. I mean, I should be but…”

“Hey...” Rey’s expression softened as she saw the tears forming in Stel’s eyes “What’s wrong?” “I have a date tonight.” Stella said and Rey frowned.

“So? You and Jake go out all the time. What’s the-“

“It’s not with Jake.” Stella swallowed “Jake and I…look, that’s over. And I mean it this time, he called quits.”

“Wait, wait…let me get this straight.” Rey frowned “You’re going on a date with someone that isn’t GI-Joe?”

“Yes.” Stella groaned “Why does everyone find that so hard to believe?” “And you’re…upset about this?”

“Not upset so much. I feel guilty Rey.” Stella shook her head “Guilty about Jake and I know that’s stupid and-“ “You’re damned right it’s stupid!” Rey exploded “Fuck Stella, I love Jake to bits, despite the fact we fight all the time, you know I do but…well he dumped you like 4 years ago and I saw how broken you were…and then you got into that whole fucked up arrangement, which, for the record the pair of you may as well have still been dating, but that’s by the by. You’re not together, you have nothing to feel guilty about. And if he’s making you feel like that then he’s being a fucking prick but more to the point if you’re letting him make you feel like that, then you’re being a fucking prick too.”

“Wow, tough love much?” Stella mumbled, wiping at her eye.

“Yeah well you need it.” Rey frowned. “Fuck Stelly, it’s about time you got out there. You’re not thinking of cancelling are you?”

“No.” Stella shook her head. “Evan’s a really nice guy, I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to.”

“Evan huh?” Rey raised her eyebrows “What’s he like? Ooh, send me a picture.”

“What? I don’t have a picture of him!” Stella scoffed “I’ve met the guy like 3 times now. The first time I tipped coffee all down him.”

“Ooh, how very Notting Hill!” Rey said and Stella laughed.

“I hate that film.”

“I know.” Rey grinned, “So, come on, tell me about him, and I want ALL the details!” Stella took a deep breath and began to explain to Rey about how she’d met Evan and then bumped into him in a bar, how they’d had coffee that morning, what he looked like, what she knew about him so far and by the time she finished the smile was back on her face and she knew instantly what her sister had done. She’d made her focus on why she’d liked Evan in the first place. Classic distraction technique, and it had worked. For all their bitching and arguing, Stella wouldn’t change her big sister for the world, and this was one of the reasons why. She was a brilliant confident and made Rey see things that half the time she was blind to.

“Damned, he sounds great.” Rey’s face split into a grin “I’m almost jealous.”

“Well, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Stella shrugged “It might go to shit after this date.”

“That’s the spirit, positive thinking…” Rey rolled her eyes, “Fuck Stella, don’t go into it thinking like that.”

“I’m not, I mean I won’t…” Stella took a deep breath as she checked her watch “Ah fuck, it’s half 6…I need to get ready. I only have an hour.”

“Ok, where is he taking you?”

“No idea.” Stella shrugged “Some place in DC. All he said in his message was to be ready for 7:30 and the dress code was smart casual…”

“Fuck you.” Stella laughed as Rey chuckled.

*****

“Leave the jacket at home.” Rey grinned “Then, you can test his chivalry level when or if he offers you his jacket.”

Stella rolled her eyes and hung up before she headed for a quick shower, taking care not to wet her hair as it would never dry in time. Luckily, thanks to the fact it had been in a French braid all day, when she took it down it fell round her face in loose waves like she’d meant it to look that way. She dressed, did her make-up, keeping it simple with a light brown smoky effect and grabbing her purse, took a last look in the mirror and headed out of her room.

Evan arrived at 7:30 on the dot, just as promised and as she made her way outside she smiled and gave a little wave over to where he stood, leaning against a sleek black Mercedes. He was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a cream button down and a tweed jacket with brown boots. Stella smiled as he stood up straight and opened the door to the car for her.

“You look lovely.” He complimented and she smiled.

“Thanks, you look pretty good yourself”.

“Glad you approve, hate to think I was showing you up.” He winked as she settled into the passenger seat.

Evan drove them the 20 minutes or so into DC. The restaurant he had picked was lovely. Not too fancy, but nice enough to be a little bit more special than a run-of-the-mill evening out the Losers often shared. Evan was an absolute gentleman, opening the car door for her, the restaurant door to allow her in first, his hand in the small of her back as thy followed he Maître-D to their table, before pulling her chair out for her to allow her to sit down. The food and drink was amazing, Stella ordering a gorgeous grilled steak and prawn salad, Evan opting for a burger which Stella commented looked big enough to feed her entire team. They split a bottle of rich and earthy red wine, Evan having driven didn’t want any more and neither of them wanted a hangover at work, not to mention Stella was conscious about getting drunk on their first date. The conversation was easy, that wasn’t a shock given how it had been between them in the bar the other night and over coffee, but this time they got to know each other a little better. Stella found out that Evan married at 22, divorced at 26 after his wife decided she couldn’t cope any more with him being away for long periods of time. He had no kids, parents both dead, and he’d been working for the CIA now for 2 years after deciding he’d had enough of life in the Navy.

None of it was forced, there was no awkwardness, and the 3 hours they spent together flew by. Of course Evan wouldn’t hear of allowing her to split the bill, picking up the check and Stella wasn’t surprised in the slightest to find that when he pulled his black Mercedes C-class into the parking lot outside her condo building, she was really disappointed the evening had come to an end.

Evan cut the engine and Stella smiled to herself, her fingers running over the seatbelt. “So, the car is nice and all but I kinda wished I’d got to see your bike.”

The fact it was a question didn’t pass Stella by and she felt the heat in her neck as she smiled gently “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Evan beamed “Great.” He paused before he gestured over his shoulder “Let me walk you to the door.”

Stella didn’t bother to point out she was a lethal trained killing machine. Instead she nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear as Evan climbed out of his car and made his way round to the passenger side, opening her door. He held out his hand to help her out and once she was clear he shut the door and they walked side by side to the entrance, Stella still had his jacket draped over her shoulders from when they’d stepped out of the restaurant. He’d passed Rey’s test with flying colours after he’d dropped it over her shoulders without so much as a word when he saw her shiver slightly in the brisk, October air. Once they reached the door Stella stopped, removed it from her shoulders and he took it with a thanks as she reached into her bag for her key. She looked up at Evan who finished shrugging his jacket back on and she smiled.

“I had a really good time tonight, thank you.”

Evan took a deep breath, a cheeky expression lighting up his handsome face.

“Yeah, I’m still not sure that coffee this morning counts as a date.” Stella arched her eyebrow and Evan made a clicking noise with his tongue.

“Ok, well, maybe I can be persuaded that coffee this morning counts.” She bit her lip.

“See you later” he smiled.

“Yeah, yeah you will.”

But, she supposed that was the difference between being a hormonal 17 year old kissing her first boyfriend and the now more mature and world-wise 26 year old she was.

At that point the doors to the elevator opened and she pushed herself off the wall and stepped through them.

****

Jake opened the door to his apartment, pulling it shut behind him and glanced up as he heard the elevator doors open. Stella stepped onto the landing, looking in her bag before she glanced up and paused as she saw him. Jake took in her appearance. The long-sleeved woollen dress she was wearing finished just below the knees of her boot clad legs and damned it, it hugged her curves in all the right way. She looked great.

“You look nice.” He offered and she smiled.

“Thanks. I would say the same about you but…” she gestured to his sweats, scruffy red hoody and dirty sneakers and he scoffed shrugging.

“Yeah, well last time I checked you didn’t need to get dressed up to go to McDonalds so…”

“Seriously?” she looked at him “Your eating habits are ridiculous. It’s 10:45!”

“Yeah well, I wasn’t hungry before but now I am.” He shrugged

“Fair enough.” she chuckled and turned to head to her apartment.”

“I’ve been on a date.” She said.

Yup, there it was.

“With that prick that bought you coffee this morning?” Jake blurted out and Stella narrowed her eyes dangerously.

“Don’t know who you’re referring to.” Stella looked at him “The only prick I know gets the munchies at almost 11 at night.”

Jake took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. “Piss off, Stella”

“No need to be rude Jacob.” She glowered and he raised his eyebrows.

“You just called me a prick and I’m the one who’s being rude?”

“Whatever Jake” it was her turn to roll her eyes.

“Whatever Stel…” he mimicked in a stupid voice and she shook her head.

“Grow up” and with that final barb she turned, opened her door and shut it loudly behind her leaving him staring at the solid wooden door that sported a large, brass 4a in the middle.

When he found the number he wanted he pressed dial, and waited for them to answer…

*****

PART 2

#too loose and you'll lose it #jake jensen x ofc #jake jensen #the losers #the losers fan fic

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 4 years

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JNPR Berries Week 2020

Day 6: Alternate Universe

Okay guys i hate aus and i always avoid au days for ship weeks but i actually have so many Pyrrha Lives/Fall Maiden!Pyrrha AUs and i got carried away i wrote almost 2k in bullet points

@jnprberriesweek

After Fall of Beacon Pyrrha has two options: 1) enroll at Haven with JNPR and continue to chase her Huntress dreams while paparazzi continue to make most things she does public, indirectly informing Salem where she is at all times. 2) drop off the face off the Earth both to avoid Salem/Cinder and to continue the Fall Maiden's job

Pyrrha being Pyrrha (self-sacrificing) goes with option 2

JNR decides there’s no way they’re going to let (a freshly discharged) Pyrrha go running into unknown with no friends or backup

She’s worried about putting them in danger (even though that’s the Hunter job description) but Goodwitch reminds her that she’s only at half power so she should accept the extra protection, and friends since she’s about to leave her whole life behind to live as a nomad which makes making friendships difficult to create and maintain

(Pyrrha doesn’t mention that she’s pretty sure she sees all of them in the more romantic light)

JNR help Pyrrha change her whole appearance. Which is very important since she’s also famous

She looses her iconic armor and has to leave her weapons behind

JNR tries to convince her to cut her hair but she’s worried about not being pretty

Jaune unhelpfully reminds her that that’s probably a good thing considering they’re trying to make her as non-noticeable as possible (poor boy just meant she’s so pretty already she'll probably never be able to blend into the background of any crowd)

Ren is actually the one who has to go "Pyrrha you’re gorgeous shorter hair isn’t gonna change that at all"

Then Ren goes "look at Nora she has short hair and she’s stunning for all we know you’ll look even better with short hair"

Pyrrha and Nora are practically speechless because Ren thinks they’re beautiful

Pyrrha is like okay but I won’t let you cut it any shorter than here (gestures to mid-chest level). (JNR tries not to look at her boobs)

Nora then tries to get her to dye it. Pyrrha holds out

JNR end up in Vol 4 outfits

Pyrrha makes the difficult choice of deciding to fake her death. She makes sure her friends (she unfortunately is unable to contact Blake or Weiss) and family still know she’s alive (but they still grieve her as if she’s dead. They most likely will never see her again. The only ones likely are her parents) but to the world Pyrrha Nikos is dead, killed in the Beacon Massacre

JNPR sets off through Vale (Fall Maiden's territory)

Pyrrha has a hastily made vaguely similar weapons to her last set. She may be a professional but she’s a professional with her chosen weapons and semblance, not most other weapons

JNR sees how Pyrrha dies inside every time a little kid or random citizen tells her "did you know you look a lot like Pyrrha Nikos?"

Pyrrha is also now getting hit on without her celebrity pedestal to keep people at bay

The first few times its truly pathetic how Pyrrha responds

JNR doesn’t intervene because they remember how sad she was about no one asking her to the dance

What JNR thinks is they’re coming into rescue her only occasionally. The truth is Pyrrha is getting rescued every time by a different member and lots of times one of them will step in before anyone even approaches her

Most of the time she’s happy one of them intervened

Some times she’s mad that no one will let her handle this herself (no one has realized that yet)

A lot of the time she feels all warm and fuzzy because for a few moments she gets to pretend. She’s given a free pass to slow dance with Nora, or to lean into Ren when he puts a arm around her waist, or get away with kissing Jaune on the cheek

(JNR are also very happy when they get these excuses.)

Jaune typically intervenes because he’s a nice guy and watching Pyrrha flounder is horrible. Ren and Nora always intervene because they’re either being protective or jealous (Ren has perfected the evil eye. People will back off before they even finished crossing the room)

They almost always camp out but when they stay in town they usually share beds to save money

Originally they were doing girls in one bed boys in the other but Nora is the whole kicking, sprawling, blanket snatching package so they typically pull straws on who gets to share with her

Sometimes even her bed buddy will leave in the middle of the night and see if they can squeeze in with the other two

On the other hand Jaune drools, Ren sleeps like a vampire, and Pyrrha snores

With Pyrrha, Jaune, and Ren all pushing six feet whenever two of them pair up touching is unavoidable

Most of the time everyone but Nora (who can fall asleep instantly) stay up freaking out about being so close to their crush. Ren actually freaked so much the first time he moved to the floor and activated his semblance just so he could sleep

Pyrrha is a side sleeper so she always ends up tangling her legs with her bed buddy. She’s always embarrassed but tries to stay in that position as long as she can (its the only selfish thing she allows herself)

Winter however quickly forced JNPR to start sharing sleeping bags

They always zip both bags together but all decided spooning is the way to go after too many cold nights. They also bought a tent just big enough for the four of them in order to trap escaping body heat

Jaune is dying from so much close contact. Was it not bad enough he has to see all of his (recently discovered) crushes get changed twice every single day? Was accidentally seeing Nora's abs and walking into a door frame in Beacon not enough?

Nora and Pyrrha on the other hand are loving it (when its not absolutely freezing)

Ren has caught all three of them arguing over who gets to sleep with him that night several times. Apparently he’s the best big spoon

A pack mule joke turns into them actually looking into getting one

Originally they wanted a horse, but when they actually were looking they ran into the problem of 1) its too tall for Nora to pack the bags 2) horses are massive and JNPR quickly realize they're scared of them

So that leaves either a pony, donkey, hinny, small mule, or llama

They end up with a donkey and name her Betty. Nora wanted "Bessie" but Ren refused to give in on the basis that she’s a donkey and not a cow

They also take this opportunity to purchase more bulkier items that would make their life more comfortable that they were unable to carry by themselves before (tents, pots and pans, extra shoes, more jackets, books)

They're over a year in when Ren of all people gets high and talks about his feelings

He thinks he’s talking to Betty but really he’s been talking to a tree stump for the last hour

He got high by taste-testing the mushrooms he was cooking

The team came back from getting firewood and unpacking Betty to find him laying in the mud giggling at the sky with their questionable mushrooms burning on the fire. It was pretty clear what happened

JNP have been making sure he wont hurt himself but mainly they’re enjoying the show

"Psst Betty. Betty. You wanna hear a secret?" JNP lean in "I’ve managed to fall in love with my entire team. You can’t tell anyone though. I don’t think I’ll ever tell them either. Im not good with feelings, and that would probably make me a terrible boyfriend"

He then goes on about what he likes about each person. He goes off on a tangent about someone’s eyes for seven minutes. He talks about his favorite facial expressions everyone makes and the best parts of their personality. Nora's been red for awhile now, Jaune is leaning so far forward Pyrrha's worried he’s gonna catch on fire, and Pyrrha is actually tearing up

He says how he feels guilty whenever he cuts in on whoever is moving in on Pyrrha, that he feels guilty about being jealous but also about sending someone away when he knows Pyrrha wants that experience, and how he doesn’t realize he’s already moved in to stop the person until they’re walking away

That he feels like he could mess up everything he has with Nora, not by going into a relationship with her but by being unable to open up any more emotionally than he is now which he knows she'll expect (they’ve talked about being “together-together” before)

He laughingly mentions that one time Pyrrha said she wanted a guy taller than her because Ren gets it now because when he’s bunking with Jaune in the winter he’s found he really likes being held by someone taller than him

Ren then goes "oh no. No no no its bad enough I’m talking about my feelings out loud I’m not going to tell you who has the best ass. Aren’t donkey's also called asses? What’s it like being a donkey?" And everyone is laughing

Pyrrha is the first to break after they fall back into listening. She looks at the fire the whole time. She admits she feels the same way about all of them, that she also planned on never saying anything.

Then Jaune pipes in that he just figured it out for himself pretty recently. That at first he was worried it was either teenage hormones or that he was reacting to a vastly shrunk dating pool and therefore the feelings weren’t real. (Unlike Ren and Pyrrha his feelings didn’t begin romantic and then expand his started sexual until realized what he thought was strong platonic feelings might actually be romantic)

Nora is still red with her hands over her face but eventually she says that she’s been attracted to all of them since team JNPR formed and "since we all clearly feel the same way about each other can we stop with the super embarrassing love confessions and makeout already"

When Ren wakes up that morning he remembers very little since he doesn’t know what were dreams and what were hallucinations. He has a dehydration headache and rolls over but Pyrrha sees he’s awake and she comes sits next to him. Ren doesn’t uncurl until she started playing with his hair. "How much of last night do you remember?" "Mostly just colors." "Ummm okay. Remember anything anyone said?" "I think I had a conversation with Jaune about rocks." "That was to Nora actually. But you did think she was Jaune." "Mmhm." "So last night there was a development, but since you were high I wanna ask you again now that you're sober." "Okay." "So ummm, we're kinda all dating now? But if you wanna back out now that you're sober you totally can." "What do you mean by 'kinda all'?" "All four of us." "And you all want to date me?" "Yeah, you don’t remember all the love confessions that happened last night." "Oh. Did my rock conversation interrupt all that?" "No. You actually confessed first." "I WHAT."

#hinacu rwby #rwby #jnprberriesweek 2020 #jnprberriesweek #polyam jnpr #poly jnpr #hinacu au #i forget are alpacas also pack animals #are elephants #i figured they prob couldnt find a camel since Vale seems to be a pretty wet place #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #fall maiden pyrrha #fall maiden #au #alternate universe

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sorry-apsalar · 3 years

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I Don’t Want You Dating Other Robots

I wanted to write a fic in which Bender was compelled to make the first move and discovery wrote my way into writing this. I don't know if this even really counts as him making a move, he kinda just stumbles into it after being an asshole for a while.

Going to the bar with Fry, Leela, Amy, and Kif was supposed to have been fun. It had been for a time until Fry decided he wanted to ditch the group to flirt with seemingly every other man in the bar. Okay maybe it was only one other man but he was rather handsome and a robot. And to as a cherry on top of this cake of what the fuck, he seemed to be into Fry. Which just didn’t make sense because it was Fry, how could anyone be into Fry? Especially a fellow robot?

“Is there any particular reason you’re glaring so intently at Fry and his new friend?” Leela, sitting across the table from him, asked.

“No!” Bender lied. … Actually though, he was too grumpy about it to keep it to himself. “Why is he flirting with a bot?” He gestured angrily in their general direction. “He already has a robot best friend, isn’t that enough?” What did that bot have that Bender didn’t? “And why does it look like he’s flirting back? Surely he can do better than Fry.”

“You sound jealous,” Amy said from her spot next to Leela.

“I am not. I’m just angry because it doesn’t make sense.”

“Well,” Leela said with a sigh, “if it makes you feel any better, I’m a little jealous too. He only just came out to us as gay last week and he’s already having more luck with men than I ever have.”

“Ah Leela,” Amy put an arm on her shoulder, “that’s not true. He’ll only have had more luck than you if he can actually get a boyfriend and keep him for more than a few days. Which well…” she glanced back over her shoulder at them, “it looks like might be the case. They seem to be hitting it off quite well.”

“Not if I can help it.” Bender slammed his hand on the table as he stood up.

“Uh… maybe you shouldn’t,” Kif said in a meek voice.

Without looking at him, Bender flipped him off, ignoring his shocked and offended gasp as he left.

“Hey Fry,” he said a bit louder than was necessary as he reached Fry and his new ‘friend’. “How’s it going?” He placed himself right next to Fry, standing a bit closer than needed, to glare at the other robot.

“Oh hey Bender.” Fry’s voice had that loose quality to it that indicated he’d crossed the border of tipsy into drunk a couple drinks ago. “This is Samuel. He’s really nice.”

Bender crossed his arms as he looked Samuel up and down. “I’m sure he is.”

Unsurprisingly, Samuel was visibly uncomfortable. His eyes shifted from Bender to Fry as if trying to figure out what their relation was to each other.

“And Samuel,” Fry said, too drunk and too stupid to notice the tension, “this is Bender, my best friend in the whole universe.” He put a clumsy arm around Bender’s shoulders and patted him on the front, making a loud clang. That… somehow eased Bender’s anger a bit.

“Oh friends, I see,” Samuel said, at ease now. Which just made Bender annoyed again. “Nice to meet you Bender.” He held out a hand, offering to shake like some kind of polite jackass. Bender ignored it.

Instead he put an arm around Fry’s shoulders, encouraging him to lean even more into him than he was already starting to. “Speaking of that, come on Fry, we got important best friend stuff to do, remember?” He said as he turned away, pulling Fry with him.

“Huh?” Fry mumbled sounding almost a little like Farnsworth. “What stuff?” He was way too drunk to be flirting with anyone so really Bender was saving him from a potentially not good situation; the only person allowed to rob Fry while he was too drunk to do anything about it was Bender. It had nothing to do with jealousy or fear of being left behind.

“Just stuff.” Bender would have to think of something in the next few minutes – or not, Fry was too drunk to care really – all that mattered though was that Fry wasn’t flirting with Samuel anymore.

Back at their table, Amy grinned up at them as they approached. “And you say you’re not jealous. Though I’m not sure if it’s romantic jealousy or just you being you again. It’s hard to tell with you sometimes.”

“My money’s on the former,” Leela chimed in as if she even knew anything about romance.

Bender glared at both of them and Kif too for good measure because he was with them. “What do you guys even know? Nothing, that’s what. Now if you’ll excuse me, we’re going home, we have best friend stuff to do.”

“Did we have plans I forgot about?” Fry asked as he was pulled away. Bender ignored him.

“Oh, I get it,” Fry said a short while later as they were reentering their apartment.

“Get what?” Bender asked as he released Fry at last.

Fry didn’t break away though, he remained gripping Bender’s arm for balance. “You were jealous because I was flirting with another robot, right?”

“Uh what? No! Why would I be jealous of that?”

“Because you’re worried I’m going to replace you or something, right?” He didn’t give Bender any time to even try to reply before continuing. “But you don’t need to worry about that, okay? You were my first friend here in the future and honestly, you’re the greatest friend I’ve ever had. So you mean the world to me and no one could ever replace you, you’ll always be my best friend no matter what.” Grinning like the drunk idiot he was, Fry leaned in and patted Bender on the chest before finally pushing away and stumbling drunkenly over the couch, leaving Bender standing awkwardly by the door.

“I want more than just that though.”

Bender had whispered it and hadn’t meant to voice it at all really but Fry looked up at him. “Huh? What’d you say?”

“Nothing!” Bender snapped more intensely than intended. “I didn’t say anything.”

Fry gave him a confused look before shrugging it off and turning his attention to retrieving the TV remote from the coffee table, a task made more difficult by his inebriation. Good, he was dropping it.

Trying not to be awkward about it, Bender strode over and sat next to him. Okay so maybe he was a little jealous Fry had been successfully flirting with another robot and maybe that jealously did have its roots in how he felt about Fry and the fact that he was suddenly far more aware of the fact he didn’t just want to be best friends. It wasn’t a feeling he should be having because Fry was a human on top of the fact that Fry had just confirmed he’d only ever see Bender as a friend. But just like how he wasn’t supposed to have feelings in general, it was a feeling he had and couldn’t get rid of, especially now that he’d acknowledged it. Acknowledging one’s feelings always made them stronger which is why he typically tried not to whenever it was a feeling he didn’t want but it was too late now and it was all Fry’s fault, Leela and Amy’s too for being the one’s to bring up the possibility in the first place. All three of them could go fuck themselves, especially Fry, making him feel things, how dare they? Well, he was going to pretend he felt nothing until it eventually became the truth just to spite them.

It didn’t go away though. If anything, it only grew stronger. His jealousy did too every time he caught Fry flirting with someone, especially if they were another robot because that just hit too close to home. Unfortunately, Fry seemed to have a preference for robots, making it that much worse. What did any of those bots have that Bender didn’t? He was better than all of them combined, why wasn’t Fry even remotely interested in him like that?

Fry somehow even managed to go on three dates despite Bender’s best efforts, only one of which was with another human. Bender sabotaged all three of course, ruining Fry’s chances of going on any further dates with those people. During the first one he’d tried to be discreet but ultimately failed and didn’t even bother trying for the other two. Which inevitably led to Fry confronting him about it.

“I’m beginning to think you have a problem with me dating people,” Fry said, giving Bender a side-eye glare as they returned home. Despite the damage done to his clothes as a result of the small explosion Bender had caused to end the date, he didn’t go to his room to change.

“What gave you that idea?” Bender replied, feigning nonchalance as he returned to his spot on the couch. He extended an arm for the remote but before he could grab it, Fry strode over to the coffee table and snatched it away. This apparently was a conversation they were going to have right now whether Bender liked it or not.

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re always dragging me away whenever you see me flirting with someone. Or how you ruined all three of the dates I’ve been on so far. Which is just no fair because I’ve lived practically my whole life in the closet and now that I’m finally allowed to be out, I still can’t date or even flirt with anyone because you’re always stopping me. What’s all that about?”

Bender maybe should’ve prepared a response for when this finally came up but he’d chosen to spend his time doing other things instead. But it now left him floundering for an explanation that wouldn’t give him away. … So… “Stop dating and flirting with robots and I’ll stop stopping you.” Maybe he could brush thing off as him disapproving of robo-sexual relationships. It was more accepted these days but there were still quite a few people who looked down on it. He’d never been one himself because why would he care what other people did if it didn’t involve him? But Fry shouldn’t know that about him.

Crossing his arms, Fry frowned down at him. “Who I date is none of your business. And… and… you’re not my dad so I’m not going to let you stop me. I can do whatever I want now and I’m going to so fuck you.” With that he turned and stomped out which was bad enough on its own but he brought the remote with him.

Bender glared after him. Maybe he should follow, make sure Fry didn’t do something stupid or something Bender didn’t want him to do. … Nah, that’d just make him madder. As it was he’d probably get over it in a few hours, a day or two at most. So instead, with the robot equivalent of an angry sigh, he extended an arm to turn on the TV that way which sucked because no one should have to do that. When Fry returned it better be with the remote or there’d be hell to pay.

A Week or so Later

Fry wasn’t over it. He didn’t seem actively mad anymore but he did avoid Bender. He even went out alone in the evenings, not returning until late at night or in three instances the next morning. Unbearable!

Bender inevitably ended up waiting up for him one night because this just couldn’t stand. What he’d say when Fry got here, he didn’t know nor did he care yet, he’d figure it out in the moment. He didn’t drink while he waited because how could he when Fry disdained his company so much? … Also, it should earn at least some pity points; Fry couldn’t possibly stay mad at him when he was pitifully inebriated, right?

Despite his best efforts though he wasn’t quite as inebriated as he wanted to be when Fry finally returned. He faked it good though, turning his head as Fry opened door and making a pitiful moaning sound.

Fry closed the door behind him with a sigh before turning to look at Bender lying on the couch. “Really Bender? Can’t you just apologize like a normal person?”

“Maybe I don’t want to apologize.” He had sort of been planning on it but… there went that. And now they were probably just going it fight again, great.

But… instead of making a retort, Fry shook his head, rolling his eyes as he turned away. He didn’t spare Bender another glance before moving on to his room. He didn’t even say any variation of ‘goodnight’ like he normally did when going to bed.

Why was he so mad? Bender just didn’t want him dating anyone, especially other robots. That wasn’t that bad. … Okay so maybe it was kind of bad if one didn’t know why Bender felt that way. … Ugh.

With a groan, he rolled over, off the couch and onto his feet. Low on fuel and power due to the time of night, the world swayed around him, almost making him fall over. He shook it off though and stumbled over to Fry’s room with little mishap. He knocked but… got no answer. Not surprising really so instead he just opened the door and poked his head in.

Fry was inside of course, sitting on his bed, half undressed and now giving Bender an annoyed glare. “What do you want? It’s late, I’m trying to go bed.”

That wasn’t a demand to get out so Bender stepped in, closing the door behind him so he could lean back into. “All those times I interfered with your love life it was because I don’t want you dating other robots.”

“Um… what? I’m pretty sure you already made that clear.”

“I don’t have a problem with humans dating robots or whatever I just don’t want you dating other robots, okay?”

“Uh… why specifically me?” He really didn’t get it.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” Bender was probably out of it enough to say it too if he were pushed far enough.

“Say what?” Gosh, while Fry’s stupidity was often charming or worth a good laugh this was just frustrating.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t date people, especially robots, who aren’t me.” If he had to say it any clearer than that he was going to blow gasket.

Fry stared blankly off into the corner of the room as his mind clearly worked through what those words meant. The moment it clicked was clearly visible on his face as he snapped his gaze back onto Bender. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I know you don’t feel the same or whatever so I’ll just go now. Sorry for messing with your love life, I’ll stop now.” And hate every single second of it but what else could he do?

Careful of his compromised balance, he turned to go. Before he could do any more than grasp the doorknob though…

“Wait,” Fry called him back. “Why didn’t you say that before?”

Having turned back to face him, Bender shrugged. “Why would I when you’re clearly not interested?”

Fry stood up. “What if I am interested though and just never really thought about? Because like… you’re my best friend so I kind of never considered it I guess because you were just the too obvious choice or whatever. And even if I had thought of it, I never would’ve believed you’d be interested.”

“So… are you saying that you are interested?”

“I uh… yeah, I guess now that I’ve thought about it, I am.”

This was an unexpected development but Bender wasn’t going to question his good fortune. “Oh uh… in that case, want to go out for drinks sometime as like a date or something?” Wow, what a way to ask, he really needed some booze and a good sleep to recharge.

With a nod and grin, Fry stepped closer to him. “Sure, sounds like fun!” There was a long almost awkward pause before he continued. “So uh… what now? Do we kiss?”

Bender shrugged because of all the ways he’d ever gotten himself into a romantic relationship this was undoubtedly the most awkward. “Do you want to?”

Fry shrugged too. “It’s late so maybe we should just go to bed talk about this more in the morning. And uh hmmm… I guess since you’re already here you can spend the night in here with me if you like. I even got some beer stashed in the nightstand drawer if you’d like some since uh… I know you need it and stuff.”

“Wow, we haven’t even kissed yet and you’re already inviting me to bed.”

Fry chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess it is kind of weird, huh? I didn’t think we’d actually do anything though I uh…” he looked Bender up and down, “wouldn’t even know how to with you.” Meaning he hadn’t fucked any other robots like Bender had feared; things just kept getting better.

Bender didn’t know how humans worked in that area either, the only one he’d ever actually dated had been just a head in a jar. “We’ll figure that stuff out later. For now, beer and sleep is more than enough.” And maybe he’d trouble Fry for a kiss before they actually fell asleep or in the morning to really seal the deal on whatever their relationship had somehow just become.

#My writing #futurama #frender #fry/Bender #jealousy #drunkenness

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