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#I may update if I get better photos
Some bad photos of my Surealist Eyes Paperdolls
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Mushroom eye
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Boat eye
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20's slenderman eye
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sun-lit-goth · 2 years
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Ok i need my date to dress like they’re fishing for complements like…like i wanna see u put some effort to look nice, smell nice, cause u wanted to make a good impression! Like…common courtesy
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forcedhesitation · 6 months
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blessed be the death of MFT.
buckle up, STBFL, and ultimate weapon nerfs next please. 🙏
#dbd#thoughts about media#ONLY during deep wound? like good bye. most survivors aren't going to bother and will prioritise perks that are more simple and reliable.#this is going to stop a lot of survivors from just relying on this perk- and not any of their own skill- to loop killers forever.#super happy about the garden of joy and red forest changes incoming too.#I could handle red forest just fine with my two mains- ghostface & hux.#but there are some other killers who do not stand a chance on that map because of the sheer size of it.#and the garden of joy is...well it's one of the most poorly laid out maps in the game imo.#that main building window is a fucking ATROCITY.#even hux with rapid brutality & soma family photo struggles to catch up to a survivor looping that fucking stupid window.#and it's not like you can just ensure you ONLY get that map when you're doctor- who doesn't give a fuck about that window.#also very exciting to see trickster is getting a buff. I fear it may be a Little too much but we'll have to see.#I do like trickster because I LOVE awful men but he's SO painful to play with the state he's in on live servers.#and like why would I subject myself to playing a killer whose power barely does anything as opposed to other. better. killers?#ghostface and hux aren't even remotely close to OP but they still get consistent and reliable use of their powers.#even if some fuckhead follows you around to reveal you. you can shroud in chase to hide your stain momentarily and mindgame.#and hux's depleted oxygen tank add-on shuts down exhaustion perk usage when a survivor may most need it. even if they get EMP'd.#hopefully updated trickster will join the pool of killers I regularly play.#so unfair that I can't play him and doctor and equal amount. they are married to me.
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waitingonher · 4 months
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ALL DA LADIES LUV LEO! — [leo valdez dating headcanons]
author's note: i am ladies. where's my irl leo...wtf.
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you and LEO VALDEZ are the definition of “if you do it, i’ll do it.” (a VERY common phrase in your relationship)
istg this guy is down to do ANYTHING. you wanna play dress-up and do his makeup? go ahead. you wanna participate in some cheesy couple trend? of course! he’d do anything to make you happy <3 (even if it means ruining his dignity) 
leo has so much love for you, and he is NOT afraid to show it. he for sure owns a million different variations of the “i ❤️my girlfriend” tee-shirt. he’s worn them so much that even chiron and mr. d stopped pestering him for not wearing the chb shirt 😭 
y’know that one topic you could talk about for hours on end? yeah, well you’re the topic leo could talk about for hours on end. you always feel bad for the unfortunate new camper who decides to ask “who’s on your shirt?” it always ends in them making an excuse to get out of the conversation. 
some may say he’s obsessed…i just call it the bare minimum!! 🤗
leo absolutely LIVES for your little gossip sessions. he’s not one of those bf’s who will try to give actual advice on how to handle the situation,, he’s the type to fully shit talk the person with you 😭 you guys are literally the “she’s also ugly…” audio and i know for a fact you guys have made a video using it LMFAO
he also has the entire timeline memorized. he could tell you exactly what month, what day, and what time so and so wronged you if you asked 😭 leo’s absolutely invested and will ask for updates every so often. 
considering how leo spends so much of his time in bunker 9, it’s almost your second home at this point. you can’t even begin to count how many times you’ve fallen asleep sitting with him as he’s worked on a project. but leo always carries you to bed! there’s no way he could allow his girlfriend to wake up with a sore neck! 
speaking of bunker 9, leo keeps a bulletin board full of photos with you and all your friends next to his workbench! when working on a particularly hard project, he’ll look over at the photos for some motivation. 
there’s nothing better than successfully convincing leo to come to bed, especially during those cold winter nights. he’s basically a big heater that can walk and talk. and leo’s super duper big on cuddling so it’s even better. why invest in a heater when you have him? 
LMFAO it’s so funny when it’s summer and he’s basically on his knees begging for cuddles 😭 it’s only then that he curses his strangely high body temperature.  
i also think it’s canon that leo’s a good cook…?? so you’re always eating good with him!! he just loves seeing your reaction to his food, especially when it’s your cultural food. leo knows how important it is to you and to know he could provide some semblance of what you grew up with, it makes him beyond happy. 
when you give him hugs from behind while he’s cooking >>> 
he melts every single time.
omg. breakfast in bed with leo. him shirtless wearing an apron that says “kiss the cook” while bringing you a plate with all your favorite breakfast foods <33 
pda king 🙏🙏 he loves pda, but not in the gross, obnoxious way. leo’s obviously smart enough to know when it’s the right time and place. 
he’s also really big on “splitting the pole” LMFAO 😭 if you’re walking down the street and a street sign is in the way he will literally pull you to his side while screaming, “don’t split the pole!” babes…it’s not that serious 🤒
his love languages are words of affirmations and acts of service. there’s nothing better than coming home to cuddle with you as you whisper sweet nothings into his ear after a long day. he really values all your thoughts and opinions, so it means so much to him when you say these things. 
when it comes to you, leo’s so incredibly supportive with everything you do. the minute you even slightly hint about picking up a new hobby, he’s already encouraging you to do it. 
he gets so upset when he gets those “these initials are soulmates” videos and your initials aren’t together 😭 one time you woke up to an entire essay-length text from him explaining why you two are extremely compatible in response to a video that said “these initials aren’t compatible” 
leo’s VERY attentive, especially when it comes to you. at this point, it’s like he knows you better than you know yourself. he always knows what you’re gonna say simply by your reaction. his brain literally goes “oh her right eyebrow raised slightly, i think she likes it!” and he ends up being right too.. 😭
or when he goes shopping without you and he sees something he thinks you’d like, and it ends up being something you’ve been wanting for the past few weeks?? at this point he might be reading your mind…
this also makes him the best gift giver ever! it could’ve been something you barely mentioned before bed, but he made a point to remember it and surprises you with it. 
he also likes to make you little gadgets that you never would’ve even thought of but are so helpful. one day you walk into your bathroom and leo’s sitting there polishing his newest project, and he tells you it’s a towel heater he made for you??? 
leo absolutely loves your family and will do everything in his power to build a close relationship with them. he knows how happy it makes you and he also just genuinely enjoys their company too! ooh and if you have siblings, especially if they’re younger, he just adores them to death…UGH he’s so so good with kids. 
whenever he buys you flowers, he also buys some for your mom too!! and considering his mechanic skills, he loves to work with your dad with his car/whatever needs fixing around the house  😭😭 your parents basically treat him like their own son and leo feels so incredibly lucky to have you guys in his life. 
this guy’s your #1 hype man + your personal tripod. when he’s taking your picture he’s literally screaming compliments behind the camera while suggesting poses for you to do 😭 he’s just so silly like that! and then when you post it, he’s up in the comments like “i took these where’s my credit  🤨🤨” 
you guys are at each other’s cabins so often that no one’s ever fazed when you’re at the door. they’re just like “who’s at the door?” “just y/n again.” 
and his siblings absolutely love you to death. they see how happy you make him and they love you for it. but they’re also strangely protective of you too. when you and leo get into those rare arguments they’re always like “what’d you do this time  🤨?” to him LMAO 
ugh but your younger siblings and his younger siblings all look up to you guys like you’re the pinnacle of love. it’s genuinely so sweet,, they always talk about how they want a relationship like you two when they’re older 
dancing in the refrigerator light but in bunker 9 under his workbench light.
i like to believe that leo always has music playing when he works, so when a good dancing song comes on, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing to dance with you. 
sometimes it’ll be a song where you guys are just silently slow dancing together or it’s a song that has you two jumping up and down going crazy. the duality of his playlist! 
i just KNOW that at some point in your relationship, leo makes you a promise ring gjkdslfsl and i bet the stone has some sort of significance to you guys.
sometimes when you can’t wear it on your finger, you’ll string it onto your chb necklace and he just gets so giddy knowing that you care that much about it 😣
SPEAKING THROUGH MORSE CODE WITH HIM?? specifically when you’re in bed, both are too tired to talk, so you feel him tap “i love you” against your skin and you send the message back. 
can we all collectively agree that leo is like the most perfect boyfriend ever?? 😍😍 thanks!
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leisi-lilacdreams · 3 months
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The Updates Never Stop!!
Please be sure to read towards the bottom for important shop drop date info
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correct stickers for this design came in! you can see the difference between the two left is correct and right is incorrect
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might as well show this one too my camera couldn't capture the effect well until i darkened it
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backer cards for the pins!
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also a VERY small stock of prints (like 10 each) (colors look better in person)
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bonus holo version! (also low stock)
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also made into stickers! i think i need to remake the donnie one OTL i didn't double check the size and it's 2x the size of the others i'm bothered by the difference enough, especially when sold as a set, to warrant the remake so this donnie sticker is gonna be a freebie added to orders
lastly, the keychains have now been put into production!!
phew! so much going on
....i may have a problem with making and ordering merch lol but not so much taking product photos or setting the shop up i'd hire someone to take care of those things if i could but alas
Important Shop Update!!!
i've decided to push the store opening towards the end of February i'm really sorry! i did some product photos with only my phone and even after learning the settings and messing with filters most of the images that came out weren't up to my standards pretty much what you see above is the best i can do and (imo) not great for official product photos
i have a photography friend and they let me try out their cameras and without even trying those images came out so much better even on their cheapest camera
i've been wanting to buy a camera for both product photos and for traveling, i finally bit the bullet, bought one, but it won't get here till mid February and then i'll need to retake photos
next merch update will probably be the keychains when i get them
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adnauseum11 · 2 months
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Bottom Line Up Front (John Price x Reader)
Kate updates John on what her reconnaissance has uncovered.
1k words
CW: swearing, allusion to past sexual assault
feedback welcome!
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Kate checks the incoming number on her ringing cell before swiveling away from her computer screen and answering. Her favourite current retiree is checking in, right on schedule, saving her a call. 
“John, how are things?”
“Alright Kate, any news there?” John asks, paused at a stop light after dropping his love off at work. 
“Yeah, actually. Let’s start with if you’re aware that there’s a photo of you and your lady on the internet, shall we?” 
Kate asks, already knowing the answer. 
“What?” 
It gets John’s full attention. He’s navigating back to his love’s place, and nearly misses his turn at Kate’s revelation.
“Yeah, were you at a pub recently?”
“A few.” John stays cagey, unused to his habits off duty being under a microscope. 
“Well, there is one over on Beecher’s Lane using a photo of you and a woman to advertise online.”  
“Ah Christ, I knew that was trouble. She does trivia nights with her mates there.” He says by way of explanation. 
He leaves out the part about her triumphant face at finally making it on to the leader board swaying his better judgement about the photo. Years of scrupulous image control to maintain his professionalism undone a few months into dating. Bloody hell. 
“Well, they scanned it and posted it up. I can see why though, she’s very pretty. Well done, John. I can see why you kept her to yourself.”
“Alright, easy, you’re happily married Kate.” 
John reminds her, a wave of possessiveness sweeping through him. 
“Yeah, married but not dead.” 
“She’s spoken for.” John growls, navigating a roundabout while Kate irritates him from afar. 
“Obviously. I did some digging on my end on the name you gave. It’s come back with some colourful info. He’s ex-army, dishonorable discharged for sexual assault years ago. He’s done contract work in the past; one was with some of Col. Norris’ men. Ring any bells on that name?” 
John’s processing as he drives, a sinking feeling in his gut.
“Of course, you think there’s more of a connection there?” 
John’s memory of threatening the Colonel is clear as day, although it had been years and a long road since that incident. The mention of sexual assault has him tightening his grip on the steering wheel unconsciously. 
“Norris is involved in the contract you turned down, that Gaz is on right now. Not sure yet, it is unusual that there would be a connection for a random B&E. I’m going to keep poking around. Certainly, it feels off. Your instincts remain sound, Captain.” Kate acknowledges John’s talent for uncovering bullshit.
John hums, internally thankful he’s already on his way to his love’s place to poke around and doubly grateful he turned down the contract weeks ago. He adds stopping by the pub to his list of errands.
“He didn’t put up much of a fight when I got there. You say he’s ex-army?”
“Well, personally, I think your reputation may have preceded you. If connection to you is what brought attention on her, they’d be looking to confirm they have the right woman, not rob her. He likely would have known you on sight, probably chose the best course of action to preserve his neck in the moment when the wrong person turned up.”
John’s blood runs cold as he pulls into his love's driveway. He idles in the car, staring at the door and the busted doorhandle, still unfixed, as dread sits like lead in his stomach. John’s done too much to be naïve to the potential outcomes.
“You think someone wants to leverage her against me? Norris?” John’s putting the information together quickly, following instincts.  
“Maybe. You’ve certainly given him no reason to like you, and he could be harbouring a grudge for the way his men were treated. He’s got an ego and a chip on his shoulder. Like I said, I’m going to keep flipping stones. There’s nothing solid there yet.”
John sighs, scratching his cheek before replying.
“Alright, thanks Kate. I’d hate to be right on this, but better to get ahead of it. Maybe let Gaz know something is up, if it’s connection to me they’re after. Better safe than sorry.”
“Already in motion. In the meantime, it goes without saying that I would encourage you to keep her away from the apartment.”
Kate swivels back to her computer, a notification blinking in the bottom corner.
“She won’t be going back. She’s moving out.” 
“You found a place that quickly? Impressive, John.” 
Kate’s tone is vaguely distracted as she reads the incoming message.
“She’s moved in with me.”
There’s a pregnant pause on the other end of the line for a moment. John has a feeling he has her full attention once again.
“Well, I suppose that makes sense, but that’s moving faster than I would have expected from a bachelor like yourself, Captain. What’s next, going to marry her before spring rolls around?” 
John presses his lips together in exasperation. Kate is teasing but there’s a vein of incredulity running underneath her comments that John can hear. He can’t totally blame her; this part of his life had been strictly off-limits. For the exact reason unfolding now, to his immense frustration. From the outside looking in, it would look like sudden madness, he’s sure. On some level, he wonders if it is, a man like him trying to retire into a normal life. 
“I don’t need time to get to know her Kate, I’ve known her forever.” John reminds her.  “Christ, you’re making me miss dealing with Simon. He doesn’t ask this many questions.”
“Who do you think found the photo, John?” 
He finally turns the car off, exhaling into the phone. 
“Jesus Christ, Kate.”
“He was concerned that you were slipping, letting that get posted. He’ll be relieved to know you sniffed this out.”
“Him and I both. Keep me posted on what else you find.”
John’s back to giving orders he’s no longer got any business giving and Kate humours him, the stress in his voice evident to her long-trained ear.
“Rog that, John. You keep yourselves safe until we get more details.”
Next Chapter
Tag list:
@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch
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moneygramhaas · 10 months
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MY SPIDERMAN , arthur leclerc┆彡༉‧₊
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social media au , arthur leclerc x collegestudent! reader.
in which charles leclerc makes a mistake in an interview that leads to the launch of his younger brother’s relationship.
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liked by yn.ln, charles_leclerc, officialronniefoden_, pascale.leclerc.355, and 507,375 others.
arthur_leclerc my love + a photo charles took of me??? idk she said she liked it!
ᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴀʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ..
arthurismybf 💕
charles_leclerc you two disgust me.
arthur_leclerc you’re just mad you don’t have a girlfriend 🙄🙄
yn.ln ew this is disgusting.
arthurismybf stfu ugly hoe bag 🤬🤬🤬
yn.ln YOU’RE the ugly one 🙄🙄
arthurismybf 😡😡
yn.ln 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
arthur_leclerc please stop fighting cherie
arthurismybf NO?? shes jealous of our relationship 🤬🤬🤬
olliebearman posting that ugly and hideous girlfriend of yours i see.
arthurismybf you literally look like the reincarnation of shane dawson if he was an austrailian kangaroo stfu
princeton i’d watch that acceptance if i were you.
arthurismybf ONGOMGOMGOMG OKAY OKAY SORRY PLEASE DDOTN KCIK ME OHT 😭😭
danielricciardo are we ignoring the fact that ronnie foden is in your likes??
arthur_leclerc yes. (yn really likes his dad’s team..)
arthurismybf no, just jack grealish.
kissainz wheres the arthur to my yn 😞😞😞
vtaoh HERE!! HERE!! I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!!
user1 ARTHUR HAS A GF AND SHE GOES TO PRINCETON??
user2 devi vishwakumar type shit omg
user3 or maybe shes a complete slut who only wants him for money 💀💀
user1 girl stfu ur just mad he has a gf
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liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, pascale.leclerc.355, and 307,325 others.
yn.ln my spiderman <3 (princeton admin PLEASE stop trying to take my acceptance I EARNED IT)
ᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴀʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ..
arthur_leclerc why cannot i be a better superhero like captain america???
yn.ln im breaking up with you. captain america is SHIT
chrisevansofficial language
yn.ln sorry, captain america is POOP.
princeton i wonder how the dean will feel after i show him that caption, which may i add, made me feel very THREATENED and UNSAFE.
yn.ln WHO RUNS THIS ACCOUNT STOP MESSING W ME GODDAMN
pascale.leclerc.355 hello yn! please make sure arthur takes his vitamins before bed time! sincerly, pascale.
arthur_leclerc MAMA YOU DO NOT NEED TO ANNOUCE THIS TO THE WHOLE OF INSTAGRAM???
yn.ln of course miss leclerc :)
user1 ARTHUR FORGETTING TO TAKE VITAMINS HELP ME 😭😭
user2 I CHOCKED ON MY WATER LMFAOO
arthur_leclerc you guys need to stop bullying me and my vitamins.
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arthurismybf me trying to get arthur to take his goddamn vitamins
liked by ynismygf, justaninchident, honeybadger, and 36 others.
ᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴀʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ..
ynismygf I WILL NOT.
arthurismybf. YOU HAVE TO YOUR MOM SAYS SO.
bstansforbaku LOL 🤣🤣🤣🤣 i knew something was wrong with him
ynismygf shut uo ollie NOTHING is wrong with me.
bstandsforbaku why else would u need vitamins??? 😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂
pascale.leclerc.355 to make him big and strong for his races 🥰🥰🥰
getmeoutofmclaren i also have a hate for vitamins i stand with arthur on this one ✊✊✊✊
arthurismybf 51°20′45.0″N 0°32′54.0″W. sleep with both eyes open.
savethebees arthur take the vitamins.
ynismygf yes sir.
arthurismybf update he took them ☺️☺️ thanks seb!!
savethebees my pleasure yn!
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VIENNA SPEAKS hi! this is kinda short but oh well 😊 i just wanted to get it done tbh. special cameo from zaimo 🤯🤯 @lomlando @hyvcksz
if anyone has a request or idea for an imagine or something please dm me! i have a three week leave from my sports so i’m going to be VERY bored!
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from-the-clouds · 1 year
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texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. iv
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series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter | photo cred
chapter summary: This time, it's different. He’s not here to help you fix something, or to drag Sarah home, or pick up something she’s left behind. At this point he’s stopped lying to himself – Joel’s here to see you.  pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader words: 5.6k chapter warnings: some angst, marijuana use, suggestive thoughts and actions (but no smut -- as always, dm if you want specifics), divorce mention. a/n: The next few weeks of my life will be insane (and NOT just because succession is coming back). I want to keep updating this, but something's gotta give, because the way I've been writing is not sustainable unfortunately. So updates may end up being shorter and the fic having more parts, or updates might be less frequent with longer parts. Also, a question for my loyal readers: Do you make your shirley temples with ginger ale or with Sprite/7up? Because I came from a sprite/7UP family but once i discovered ginger ale instead i was HOOKED. So i am a Ginger Ale Shirley Temple Truther.
-May 5, 2003-
Please pick up, please pick up, you cross your arms in front of you, looking over your shoulder. The pointed toe of your heels clacks against the asphalt as you tap it repeatedly, a steady beat. You have no reason to be so nervous, right now. It must have something to do with who you are calling, not just why. 
“Hello?” the droning ring is interrupted by a voice that sounds skeptical, they don’t recognize your number.
“Joel?” you ask.
“Hey, you,” his tone evens out when he hears you say his name. He had given you his cell phone number a few weeks back, the night he’d caught you smoking on your back porch. In case I’m not home and something’s goin’ on with Sarah, he’d said. It made sense, though all it did was tempt you to call him many times before this, and not about Sarah. You were worried because…maybe this was out of line.
There’s noises in the background that threaten to drown Joel out – saws and various power tools whirring, a jackhammer, men calling out to each other. It’s loud. At your job, you close the door to your office if someone is typing too loud on their keyboard. “I uh- I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
You hear a door shut in response, and the noise fades to a low purr. “Not at all. Everything okay? Sarah alright?”
“Yeah, this isn’t about her, though. I hope that’s okay.”
“It depends,” In your mind, right now he’s leaning against a messy metal desk, one of his hands planted on its surface to keep himself stable, the muscles in his forearm flexing under tension. He’s got a toolbelt slung low over the waistband of his Carhartt’s. He’s a little sweaty – it’s hot out, today – his cheeks flushed, pieces of dark hair clinging to his forehead. The image is doing something for you, and you have to take a deep, measured breath to reset before you can answer him.
“Do you…know anything about cars?” you ask. 
“A little….why?”
“I took my car to get serviced, and…I’m pretty sure I’m about to be swindled.” You hesitate, then qualify. “I didn’t have anyone else to call, and…you seem like you might be good with this sort of thing.”
There are a lot of things you know a lot about, and cars are just not one of them. From your perspective, a car is simply a means to get from Point A to Point B, and the less you know about the how, the better. Although your complete lack of understanding definitely doesn’t help you in your current situation. You’d considered calling your brother, and even your father – but you knew they’d be no help, having lived in Manhattan their whole lives. 
Bradley had a nice car, but you suspected it was more for his image, and less because he knew anything about them. Plus, you didn’t really ask for much of each other outside of sex – and if you started too, it might initiate another talk about where you ‘see him in your future’, and the thought alone is grating, because you don’t. 
Since you moved away from home, you’ve spent a lot of time asserting to yourself that you’re completely independent. But moments like this remind you that it’s not entirely true…it’s not possible to be on your own in the way you want, and you always end up needing someone. 
“I might be able to help.” Joel sounds unconcerned. “What’s goin’ on?”
“They just told me my car needs a new battery, and I need new tires.”
“How old are they?”
“I don’t know like-” your phone vibrates furiously in your hand, an incoming call from your coworker. “Oh my god, leave me alone,” you groan out loud. “-Not you, Joel, sorry. I stepped away for lunch and…you know how it goes. Anyways, I don’t think I’ve gotten either of them changed since I got my car.”
“How old is your car?”
“Seven years.”
“Good lord,” Joel mutters, and he sounds somewhat disappointed. “Yeah, you should get both those things.”
“They weren’t lying? It’s gonna cost a couple hundred bucks.”
“No, I doubt they were,” he gives a warm chuckle, and it melts away some of your stress, even if your wallet is about to take a considerable hit. “Where’d you take your car?”
“I don’t know, just…some place around the corner from where I work.”
“In the future, you should go to Robert’s place in town. He’s done some work on my truck. Probably will cost a lot less.”
“Noted,” you nod. “Thanks so much, sorry for catching you at work.”
“Not at all, I don’t mind…” Joe answers. “Shipments keep getting delayed, so…it’s been kind of a slow day.”
“I’m jealous,” you say. “Because I swear, lately, whenever I leave the office for more than two minutes everything explodes….or at least it feels that way.”
“Sounds like you’re important,” Joel says, you can hear his smile over the phone, see it, practically. 
Scoffing, you answer. “Hardly. But uh, thanks again. I definitely owe you one.”
You expect him to say goodbye, so you’re surprised by what he asks next. “What are you doing Friday?” 
“I don’t know. What are you doing Friday?”
“I’m assumin’ Sarah’s probably left something at your place….if you’re gonna be around, I might stop by to get it….”
“You want me to smoke you up?” 
“That’s not what I said.”
“But it’s what you meant,” You’re direct.
“Look, I’m just sayin’ if it happens, I wouldn’t be mad.”
“I already told you, you’re welcome anytime,” you say. “But won’t Sarah-oh wait, no, she has that school dance, doesn’t she?”
Sarah had taken to writing important events in her life on the calendar that hung on your fridge. It was usually blank, you were good enough at remembering your own plans without utilizing it. But she had told you the empty calendar made her sad, so now it was filled with her doodles and notes, scribbled with blue glitter gel pen. And Friday night’s event she’d underlined three times.
“She does,” Joel answers, seemingly amused. 
Another call comes through on your phone. “Okay, yeah, I gotta go. But I’ll be around Friday.”
“Then maybe I’ll stop by,” Joel says, and you ignore the flash of heat through your abdomen – excitement – at the idea of him coming over.  “Have a good rest of your day.”
“You too.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
-May 9, 2003-
Joel arrives at your place before the sun sets, once again. But this time, it is different. He’s not here to help you fix something, or to drag Sarah home, or pick up something she’s left behind. Of course, he’s got his excuse, but really, at this point he’s stopped lying to himself – he’s here to see you. 
“Well, well, well…” you open the screen door, lean against the doorframe, and cross your arms over your chest. “If it isn’t the neighborhood space cowboy.”
“You’re one to talk.” 
You squint at him, but the way the corner of your mouth quirks gives you away. “Touche.” 
God, he’s already regretting this. Maybe he shouldn’t be here. But it’s become increasingly difficult to resist you, and that’s assuming that you’re even interested. He’s all-but kissed you and he’s still not quite sure where he stands. You’re not easy to read, but he has always enjoyed a challenge. At the end of the day it’s never a bad idea for him to brush up on his flirting, Tommy’s words from a few weeks ago have been getting to him. For much as he believes it’s bound to happen, Joel doesn’t want to end up alone.
“Come on in,” you push yourself off the doorframe and lead him through your house.
The last time he’d been here you’d been wearing some long-sleeved, satin pajama set. He remembered because he spent all night trying not to touch the fabric, though maybe he was just looking for an excuse to touch you. Tonight, with your back turned towards him, his eyes wander down to the curve of your ass in your low-rise, bootcut jeans. He feels the slightest bit of shame about doing it, before deciding that what you can’t see won’t hurt you.
“How was the mechanic?” he asks once you’ve entered the back porch.
“Oh fine,” you say, sitting down on the couch, gesturing to the spot across from you. “I’m just pissed I had to spend a bunch of money on a car battery and not something more…fun.”
“It’s a good thing you did,” Joel sits. “Honestly, I’m surprised you called me from the mechanic and not from a ditch on the side of the road.”
“This is my first car, Joel. I grew up in a walkable community,” you pick up an already-rolled joint, the faintest acknowledgement that you’d planned for this ahead of time – and lift it to your lips. 
“It’s okay, I’m teasing.” Joel assures, and lets his gaze linger while you smoke, just admiring, as he often does. When you pass the joint over to him, he speaks again. “I have to be good tonight, cause Sarah’s gonna be home in a couple hours.”
“Yeah, first school dance, big deal,” you raise your eyebrows. “Help me out, because I went to an all-girls school. It’s middle school. Do kids go with dates?”
Joel shakes his head. “Not that I know of. Sarah just went with a group of friends.” 
“That makes sense,” you nod. “Speaking of, I have to be good, too. I’m going to her soccer game tomorrow.”
Joel feels his brows knit together in confusion, and it causes you to continue on. “She keeps asking me to come to one, and I haven’t been able to, so I feel bad. I guess her season’s almost over.” 
“Tomorrow’s her last game…” Joel mutters, looking up towards the ceiling, where the smoke is collecting, and exhales. “But you know you don’t have to do that.”
“Obviously, but…” you shrug. “...I want to.”
He chuckles to himself, runs a hand through his hair, which is still damp from the shower he took before this. “You’re really prepared to put yourself through a middle school soccer game…” 
“Look, Joel,” Your eyes are half-lidded, focused on him, and your arm is slung over the back of the couch, fist supporting your temple. “In case you couldn’t tell…I’m doing this thing where I try to engage in the community I live in. But so far, your family members are the only ones who’ve included me in anything, so until I find someone else….” you trail off. “You’re stuck with me.”
Joel doesn’t want you to find someone else. Being stuck with you is hardly a problem. He wants to tell you, but instead, all he manages is: “We’ll be good tonight.” Still, he’s not entirely convinced that he can trust himself to make a promise like that. 
It’s a tad too early for the sun to be setting, but it’s early in May, so the weather is perfect, and he’s sort of itching to be outside. Maybe there’s something to be done before the light wanes. “Do you want to go for a walk?” he asks you.
You seem taken aback by his request, wrinkling your nose.”….I don’t know.”
“It’s a nice night, you might enjoy yourself. And we’re in good company.” 
The grimace on your face disappears, and is replaced by something more amiable. “We are,” you tilt your, make a decision. “Yeah, okay…let’s do it.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Once you’ve locked your front door, closed your windows, Joel walks side-by-side with you down your driveway. You only make it about halfway down when you’re both interrupted by the sound of someone calling out your name, then his. 
Your next-door neighbor, Denise Watson, leans over the railing of her front porch, while her husband John sits in a chair behind her, giving a lazy wave and returning back to his puzzlebook. Joel nods at him, and notices the color has drained out of your face. The Watsons have lived on this street since before even Joel and Sarah moved in. They’re in their late 60s, retired, all their children grown – which gives them plenty of time to get into everyone’s business. 
“Hey,” you offer the most unenthusiastic greeting he thinks he’s ever heard. You’re paranoid, and he’d laugh if it were just the two of you, alone. But it’s not, and he knows these just so happen to be neighbors you’ve been lying to.
“How are you doing, hun?” 
“I’m good,” you say softly, and Joel watches Denise’s eyes flick over his direction. 
“Same here,” he manages. 
“What are you ya’ll up to?”
“We’re just goin’ for a walk,” Joel answers, looking your way. You nod at him, wordlessly, then at Denise. 
“How lovely.” She smiles, and it’s sincere, so he knows she doesn’t suspect anything. “It’s nice to see you two getting along so well.” Even from where he’s standing, Joel sees her eyebrows lift suggestively.
You and Joel both answer the insinuation at the same time.
“Yeah, well-” 
“She looks after Sarah for me, so-”
You bob your head enthusiastically. “Mhm, yeah. Sarah. Great kid.”
Denise opens her mouth again, and you speak so quickly, Joel’s pretty sure it’s because you’re afraid of what she’s going to say next. “We gotta go,” you shuffle backwards a few steps, quickly, and collide with Joel’s chest. “Before it gets dark out,” when you turn, you’re looking up at him with wide, terrified eyes. 
“Oh, alright,” Denise says, sounding a little disappointed. “Ya’ll stay safe, alright?”
“Of course,” Joel calls over his shoulder, managing a halfhearted wave before he’s trailing you around the bend in the cul-de-sac that takes you out of view from The Watsons porch.
The second you’ve made it you whirl to face him, your jaw drops, and you both erupt into laughter. You grip his bicep and lean into him, pressing your face into the cotton of his t-shirt to stifle the noise. He’s tempted to pull you under his arm all the way, but he resists the urge. Would that be okay? He’s not sure. And he’s not necessarily in the best headspace to make the decision.
“Oh my god,” you murmur, swiping under your eyes as you pull back, and start walking a few steps ahead of him. 
“It’s like I’m back in high school,” Joel says. Neither of you decide to mention what your neighbor had insinuated, but it is objectively funny. 
“Oh, I’m sure you were trouble.”
“Not as much as you’d think,” Joel says. “Although I did sneak out quite a bit. But it was only to see girls – well, one girl.” 
“Sarah’s mom?” you ask. 
“Yeah.” Joel isn’t sure why he’s mentioned it. It’s not really something he’s interested in speaking on now – or ever – for that matter, even if every person he’s mentioned it to has questions. What happened? What did you do? You poor thing. Above all else, he hated being pitied. 
But you don’t press him, and change the subject. “So…a few weeks ago you had said you and Tommy had a work project you were gonna book. Did that pan out?”
Joel cocks his head, surprised you remembered. “Actually, it did. Funny you ask. Things moved slow but…we signed the contract today. I’m sort of celebrating.”
“Congratulations,” you look over your shoulder slightly to give him a genuine grin. “But uh…you should’ve told me. Had I known we were celebrating, I would’ve tried to make things more exciting.” 
“Can’t think of anything better.”
You pause, because you’ve reached the end of your cul-de-sac. “Suit yourself.” you say. “Are you gonna lead though? I don’t know where we’re going.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of the point.” Joel expects some kind of quip in response, but you just shake your head and narrow your eyes. Tucking your hair behind your ears, he senses a bit of uneasiness. “You alright?”
“I’m fine I just…” you shake your head. “I don’t love being stoned in public.”
“You’re alright.” Joel puts his hand between your shoulder blades, guiding you to fall into step beside him. “Come on, darlin’, just walk with me.” It’s terrible how easily the term of endearment slips out – and he waits for your reaction. But all he feels is the way your body loosens under his touch. 
That brings him some satisfaction, but as usual, it’s not enough. Because if you’re not going to stop him, he longs to push the hair off your neck, kiss along your pulse point, feel you melt even further as his thumbs work at the muscles in your shoulders. Joel fantasizes about what his name might sound like, coming from you, in a breathless sigh. The image works him up a little too much, and he lets his hand fall back to his side.
For a while, you both walk in silence, your fingers brushing against his every so often, but neither of you acknowledge it, apologize, or decide to step further away from each other to keep it from happening again and again.
It’s a beautiful night, the warmth of the day dwindling under the blanket of thinning clouds tinted pink in the sunset. Joel is amazed at how content he feels, can’t remember the last time he’s felt this way – not worried about someone, or something, or letting anyone down. 
It’s May, so almost all the native flowers are in full bloom. Tulips planted in gardens, pansies overflowing from pots on porches, dandelions dotting pristine green lawns. Stepping away from Joel, you pause in front of an empty, overgrown lot that’s basically turned into a wildflower patch. 
“This is nice,” you say, decidedly. “It’s pretty.” 
“I told you.”
Once more, he expects some clever retort, but your eyebrows are pinched together, and you crouch to look closely at some bluebonnets that are the same color as the tight-fitting henley you’ve got on. “I know you mentioned it back there but… Sarah’s told me…about her mom.”
Joel feels himself stiffen. “Yeah….well, she never really got to know her.” 
When he’s feeling particularly remorseful, his brain replays a memory of Sarah, only four years old, toddling around the tiny apartment they lived in and calling out for her mother. His ex had left when she was so young, so he had known there was no way Sarah actually remembered her. But all her classmates had two parents, all the movies she watched at home depicted loving, complete families. That night, after tucking her in, he’d retreated to his room, and cried for the first time since his divorce. Ever since then, it was impossible to shake the feeling he wouldn’t be enough.
Sometimes, he felt better about it then others. Sarah grew out of that phase, and Joel thought that’d be the last of it. When he finally bought the house, he felt like he’d proven he could do it alone. They would be fine. That was until Joel found an old photo of him and his ex underneath Sarah’s pillow while he was changing her sheets. The discovery left him with the same feeling all over again. 
Now, in the wake of the excitement that he’s signed onto his first real contracting gig, a promotion, a raise – this information from you deflates him all over again. 
“You don’t like to talk about it?” you guess correctly. 
“Not particularly.” Normally, Joel would shut something like this down. But he can’t bring himself to be cruel to you. “We were young. What happened was for the best. I wish Sarah understood that.”
“You don’t give her enough credit. She’s a bright kid,” you answer, standing up and putting your hands on your hips. “Anyways, I get it. When you cut yourself off from a bad situation, it's hard. The alternative is worse, though. People forget that part.”
Joel feels a little reassured by what you’re saying. Why he immediately went on the defense when you brought it up, he’ll explore later. “I wish more people understood,” he murmurs. 
“Me too,” you nod, and you nudge him gently to keep walking. “And people process things differently. It makes sense she's curious. It’s a very human thing.” 
“I know.” What was it that you had said a few weeks back? They’re always with you, no matter what. That’s not a sentiment Joel can completely wrap his head around yet. “It does make me think sometimes…maybe she needs some else….someone who isn't…me.””
“Oh, come on, Joel,” you halt in your tracks, almost like he’s offended you in some way. You look up at him from under your eyelashes. “You’re a good man.”
Validation. He doesn’t get it often – ever, really. And he doesn’t need it, but….coming from you, he feels like he just wants more. And more. He can think of a few ways he might get it, too. Some less innocent than others. 
“Should we turn around?” he asks. You nod. 
There’s a bit of light still remaining in the sky by the time you round the corner to Joel’s street, but the sun has set long ago. He’s probably supposed to say goodbye, standing at the end of your respective driveways, but he finds that end to the evening rather disappointing. 
“You know what I can’t stop thinking about right now?” you ask, Joel. He’s a little hesitant to answer, based on the ornery glint in your eyes. All he has to do is raise his eyebrows, and you continue. “A shirley temple.”
Joel can’t help but laugh, and he sees how you light up at the sound. “You serious?” he asks. 
“I know they’re….for kids, but…I don’t know. They’re really fucking good.”
“They are,” he answers, and you’re at the end of your driveway. He hesitates for a second, thinks you might say goodbye, but you just check over your shoulder to make sure he’s following you. He does. 
“This is probably the weed talking, but I’m going to make some.” You unlock your front door, and he holds it open to let you step inside, before following. 
“You have the stuff to make them?” he questions. 
Yes, you bob your head, then walk to the corner of your front room and flick on a light. Warm light floods the room, and you walk through the archway into your kitchen. When he follows you there, your back is towards him, opening a glass-doored cabinet containing various liquor bottles, wines, cordials, and accoutrements. 
“You want one? I have to say, I’ve been making them a lot lately, and I think I’ve perfected the recipe.”
“Well in that case, I’ve gotta try,” Joel wanders to your small kitchen table, about a quarter of it covered in neat piles of paperwork. There’s a messenger bag slung over the back of a chair, and in front of it is there’s a thick contract. The page it’s opened to is riddled with blue ink, crossing through sentences, scribbled in the paper’s margins. He can’t make out any of the jargon in the fine print. Next to it sits a pair of thin black reading glasses, and a sleek fountain pen engraved with your name. 
His eyes fall next to a stack of old photographs sitting atop an opened envelope. With two fingers, he pushes the top photo off the stack, once, twice, three times, until he gets to the bottom of the pile, and they’re spread out in front of him. Maybe he shouldn’t be snooping like this, but his curiosity is getting the best of him. 
Joel doesn’t recognize the people in most of the photos. One of them is a school photo of a young boy, with Spring ‘03 printed in the lower right hand corner. But the remaining two…he realizes are of you, but you’re young, your cheeks rounder, features not quite as defined. Younger than Sarah, if he had to guess. In both, you’re wearing the same thing – a black turtleneck, a plaid skirt that hangs past your knees, and black Mary Janes. 
In one, you’re cheek to cheek with a teenage boy who you’re giving bunny ears. Your brother. Has to be. You look too similar. His arm is across your shoulders, and you’re smiling so wide your eyes are closed. 
In the other photo, though, your face is blank. A wide, empty stare, straight into the camera. Behind you, his hands on your shoulders, is an older man whose gaze has the same determined set Joel has seen on you before. Something about the photo, the haunted look on your face, makes him feel like he’s seen something he’s not supposed to, and he slides the print underneath a stack of papers.
“If you’re gonna look at those papers, I’m gonna need you to sign an NDA,” you say over his shoulder, and Joel is startled by the sound of your voice, and the feeling of a glass, cold and damp with condensation, being placed in his hand. “Here.”
You peer around his shoulder, face brushing against the side of his arm as you see the photos. “Oh,” your voice drops slightly when you realize what he’s looking at. “My brother sent those. That’s my nephew, Ethan.” You point to the school photo of the little kid, but don’t offer an explanation for any of the others. 
Joel clinks his glass with yours and notices that you’ve balanced a toothpick with two maraschino cherries on its rim. It’s refreshing, delicious, and the fizz tickles his nose as he takes the first sip. 
“Restaurant quality,” he tells you. You lean back against your counter, studying him. When you stare at him like this, as he’s caught you doing a handful of times before, it always makes him feel feral. Like some kind of animal, the way he has to hold himself back from pouncing. You look at him like there’s no one else around, and yeah, there’s no one else around right now, but even when you’re in public, you’ve done it, too. And he doesn’t know how to tell you to stop – he doesn’t really want to. “How’d you perfect the recipe?” he asks. 
“Practice,” you glance at the bubbles dancing through the ice in your glass before focusing back on him, sheepish. “Sarah likes them.”
So you’ve made them for her. Joel sits his drink down. “She does.” 
“Are you hungry?” you ask. “I think I need a snack or something.”
“You don’t have any ice cream, do you?”
“Uhhh…check the freezer?” you say over your shoulder, rummaging through your cabinets for a bowl, and Joel rises to do so. “I think I only have coffee-flavored, though.”
“Good choice,” he answers. His favorite.When he opens the freezer, he’s met with a blast of cool air, a cloud of steam. 
“You have a sweet tooth, don’t you?” you tease, coming to stand next to him, but Joel is too focused on the box of orange popsicles he sees in front of him, and pulls them out to look at the box. “You like these?”
“Not really. I’m partial to cherry.”
“Sarah loves these,” he remarks. 
“Yeah.” 
“I don’t buy them for her anymore, because one time she ate twelve in one day.”
You sniff, grin. “She told me that.”
He studies the drink that you’ve set on your countertop, the box in his hand. “So you bought these for her?”
“Yeah, why?” you cross your arms, almost defensively.
“Are any of the other snacks here just for her?”
“...No,” he can tell you’re lying, and your eyes flick over his shoulder for a second. “Don’t look in that cabinet, though.” 
Joel can’t help the incredulous smile that breaks out over his face. “God, no wonder she’s always over here so much. You’re givin’ her all the junk I don’t let her eat, aren’t you?”
You hold your hands up. “I think she deserves to be comfortable here. Do you want her to starve?”
Joel’s sure he’s staring at you slack-jawed. Not because he’s upset with you, no. It’s quite the opposite. He shakes his head, grins, and starts laughing.
“Don’t laugh at me,” but you’re giggling, too. “It’s not funny.” You reach to swat at him playfully, and something inside him snaps. 
Joel is sick of coming up with excuses to see you. He’s sick of holding you at arms length. He’s sick of not taking what he wants to. He’s sick of pretending he hasn’t thought about you every single day since he first saw you, standing in this very kitchen, leaning over the island and chatting with Sarah. He wants to walk in your front door and know that he can have you however he likes, that he’s allowed to. He realizes if he doesn’t act, he’ll never find out. It’ll eat him alive.
So before you can make contact, he wraps his hand around your wrist, draws you in closer. It catches you off guard, sure, but your eyes are locked, and he sees that you’re not shaken in the slightest.
“You know,” he says. “You’re nicer than you think.” 
The energy in the room has shifted. But it doesn’t seem to phase you, and when he’s this close, he can study every freckle on your face, the color of your eyes – can remind himself, again, though he hardly has to – just how beautiful you are. You lower your arm, and at first – he panics, thinks that you might be pulling away. He’s read it wrong, all wrong. But all your doing is giving yourself a better angle to grip his wrist in kind, hand clasping over his broken watch.
“Keep it to yourself, Joel.” you whisper. And it's supposed to be a joke, but you can't seem to tear your gaze off his lips. “I have a reputation to uphold.”
“I will.” 
Joel kisses you. Hard. It’s like a dam breaking, every time he’s held himself back from you comes barreling forward, and it’s all right there. Everywhere. Overwhelming. But he can't stop. He moves with purpose, cupping your chin. He winds his other arm around your waist, crushing you against him. You taste sweeter than he’d imagined, cherry-flavored syrup lingering on your lips. You groan against him, your head tilting back as he moves in closer, jaw relaxing, lips parting.
It’s just enough for him to slip his tongue inside your mouth, to continue to explore, to claim. The things he’s going to do to you…It could be the weed, but every nerve in his body is on high alert – his skin scorches in the wake of your hands raking up his biceps, tangling in his unruly waves. It could be the weed, or it could just be that good.
More, he wants more, and he’s crowding you back towards the counter next to the fridge. Somewhere, distantly, he hears the freezer door fall closed – and probably not all the way – the ice cream long since forgotten. The moment your back hits the granite, you pull away with a ragged inhale, only enough to look him in the eyes.
“Took you long enough,” One of your hands rises to his face.
Joel presses his cheek into the warmth of your palm. “I thought it might be better to keep you waiting.”
You only shake your head, pulling him back into the kiss. He shifts his weight to hook his hands behind your knees and lift you onto the counter. It’s a bit overzealous, and your head bumps the cabinet behind you, but you don’t seem to notice. Both your legs hook around his hips, drawing him in further. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so turned on just from kissing someone – not even for that long – but it’s just so fucking hot. You’re so fucking hot. 
But, he’s capable of one rational thought. This can’t be how it happens. You’re worth more than an animalistic fuck on a kitchen countertop. There’s so much more he wants to do that can’t be done here, like this. And…it’s you. You deserve better, although the frustrated noise you let out when he draws back indicates you think the opposite. Another time.
“I’m sor-I-we can’t,” Joel manages. 
Your face drops, you look….almost angry at him. The second he sees it, he realizes what he said was all wrong. “No, I mean we can, we can, just not….not now.”
The anger dissipates, you shift back, but reach out, pushing a piece of stray hair off his forehead and running your thumb along his sharp jawline. “Why not?”
“I just…I didn’t-” he shakes his head and looks down. “I’ve wanted this for awhile now, but….this isn’t…I wasn’t expecting-” Fucking spit it out, you dipshit. “Can I take you out or something first?” 
You don’t answer, just shift forward, your forehead bumping into his chest. Joel he brings his arms around your shoulders despite himself. And then your lips are on his neck, teeth scraping, teasing, working up to his ear, where you whisper. “You don’t have to.”
He fucking has you. He could. So easily. “I want to.”
You pull back, and there’s a split second where he swears you look a little ashamed, and then it vanishes. “You are a romantic.”
“Not entirely…” Joel says. “I just…would rather do things right. For someone I like.”
“Someone you like?”
“Yes.” Obviously. 
“Okay, yeah,” you murmur softly. “I would like that.” 
“Next weekend?” 
“That long?” 
He chuckles. “It’ll be worth the wait.” But you don’t seem convinced. “I promise.”
For a split second his eyes flick over your shoulder to the microwave, and he sees what time it is. “Shit. Shit. I’m sorry. It’s late. Sarah’s gonna be home any minute and if I’m not home-” he pauses, gestures between you. “We shouldn’t uh…we shouldn’t mention this to her. Not for now, at least.” 
“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on it,” you shake your head in agreement. 
Joel leans in to kiss you again. This time, he keeps it slow, tender, lingering. Even though he knows he’ll get to see you again, he still finds it hard to tear himself away.
----
part v
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nipuni · 24 days
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Time for an old school blog post, Hello!
Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊
Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.
Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.
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This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!
Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!
On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.
Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!
We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.
Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂
OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!
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Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!
Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!
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Millie Bright x Reader
Triggered (Rewrite)
AN: I’ve wanted to rewrite this for sometime since reading it back and it felt so cringey. As it’s about a neurodivergent reader I felt like it could and should be better. It’s mostly Part 1 that’s changed the most but I felt like it should have it’s own post rather than editing the old 3 parter, so I hope you enjoy. It’s been a nice way to ease myself back into writing too.
A ping rang from your pocket up to your ears letting you know you had a new message, hearing the sound your heart started beating faster. You had desperately been waiting for updates from your friend who had won the chance to be at Chelsea women’s open training session and was hoping he’d get something signed from Millie Bright for you. Millie is your favourite footballer but she has been out with a knee injury for months - hardly spotted at games or training as if she’s gone into hiding, but opening the photo from your friend filled your heart with joy seeing the blonde huddled with her friends. She wasn’t in her training kit but seeing her there kept your hopes alive that you’d have something signed in your hands by tomorrow. Your friend had asked you to come with him but you already had tickets for the England game tonight that was at the other side on London which made it impossible to be at both. You had hoped that if she wasn’t at Kingsmeadow she may had turned up to support her England teammates but the photo on the 6 inch screen proved she wasn’t coming. “She seems really rude (y/n/n), why do you like her? She’s not talking to anyone!” the next text came through, shattering your daydreams of finally having her autograph. “I don’t care, I love her! Pleeeease try!” you begged with lots of prayer emojis, keeping your fingers and toes crossed that he’d come up trumps.
“Here, it’s the last one” your best friend Mack broke your concentration from the text exchange as he sat down next to you, placing a hotdog on your plate. His mum was cooking a BBQ for your friend group before you left to go to the stadium which was conveniently around the corner from their house. Perching on the doorstep with him and watching the fans trickle towards the stadium you munched happily on the mounds of food piled up on your plate. Mack’s mum always goes above and beyond when it comes to gatherings, you had been eating BBQ food for hours yet your plate never seemed to be empty. She was the type of person who always left her front door open, her house was always filled to the brim with school friends, then uni friends and work friends. New Years Eve parties every year, Miss Gloria really knew how to throw a banging party! You and Mack threw some memories around while watching his mum pile more sausages onto your other friend’s plates, chuckling as you remembered her flinging you across the lounge to dance with her after she saw you sitting alone when you were younger.
The click of the front gate in the near distance drew your attention to the garden path where a very familiar blonde was approaching the house. Watching in awe as she approached Mack’s mum over the BBQ you rubbed your eyes to see if you were hallucinating. “Millie!” she loudly exclaimed, “I thought you weren’t coming anymore!”, looking to Mack beside you for reassurance that you weren’t going mad who had already upped and left, running over to see her. ‘What, the..?’ muttering to yourself in disbelief you heard them all chattering in the distance but didn’t notice her approaching you a little while later. You were spaced out staring into the distance trying to muster up the courage to talk to her when suddenly she was in front of you. “I’m assuming you’re (y/n)?” she snapped, breaking you out of your spiralled thinking. “Uhh.. yeah?” you replied, not knowing what to think of her standoffish behaviour, she always seemed so upbeat and happy that you just didn’t imagine her being as rude as your friend said earlier. Mack came running over saying his mum was out of food, glancing at the mound on your plate you offered it over. “I-I’m definitely not going t-to eat all of this” you stammered, still in awe that your idol was in front of you but confused with the interaction as you passed your plate over. She took it with not even a thanks and sat down beside you on the door step, beginning to eat like she hadn’t had food for months. “Ketchup?” offering the bottle that was next to you to try break the awkward silence that only amplified her chomping sounds. You felt the mood lift a little when she squeezed the bottle too hard it splashed over her plate in a massive gloop, waiting for her to chuckle at herself so you felt able to too. Squirming in her seat trying not to get it on her clothes, her knee grazed yours, “hey, hows the injury?” you asked trying your hardest to make small talk, “I’m not allowed to say” she responded bluntly, plunging the interaction into dead silence again. Rolling your eyes you let out a desperate sigh, disappointed with how the day went from hopefully getting her autograph to being totally disappointed with actually meeting her.
Glancing at your watch you called out to your friends that you should probably be leaving for the stadium soon, you were met with agreement from all of them as you gathered up the plates to wash up. When you collected Millie’s she asked why you had to leave so soon because kick off wasn’t for another hour. “I just like to know I’m on time” you replied, taking her plate to the kitchen as she followed asking more questions. “The stadium is only around the corner, you don’t need to leave that early” her statement sharp and slightly condescending. Your friends knew your autistic and adhd traits came out the most when you had a timed thing to do – like football. You liked to be there early so you could find your seats without the overwhelming amount of people staring at you arriving. You found comfort knowing you wouldn’t have to tell people they were in your seats and that you could relax knowing you were in the right place. You’d never been to this stadium before and new places trigger your anxiety. You couldn’t tell Millie that though, with the mood she’s in she probably wouldn’t listen anyway. “I just get anxious” you told her honestly, “well don’t worry about it, it’s just football” her tone now throughroughly irritating you. “Wow thanks, I’m cured” rolling your eyes at her ignorance you washed the last plate, expecting her to pick up a tea towel but she didn’t; truly cementing your feelings about the woman – rude and obnoxious! Maybe your friend was right!
45 minutes passed before you actually left leaving 15 minutes to get in and find your seats, you were now an anxious mess and on the brink of a meltdown. Millie lead your friends down an ally to a gate you hadn’t seen when you studied the stadium map online yesterday, falling behind as you rushed to find the tickets on your phone and missing the email containing them. “I can’t find the tickets” you said in quiet panic but realising no-one heard you made you become even more flustered, “guys, slow down! I can’t find the tickets!” you pleaded with everyone to help. Millie turned around and looked at you in a way that you could tell she was annoyed, “you’re with me you don’t need tickets, put your phone away!” she shouted but didn’t stop walking. Looking at Mack in desperation he shrugged but didn’t say anything. You’d never felt more like an outcast to your friends, they all knew your triggers and signs you were getting overwhelmed but it seems Millie’s presence made everyone forget them. You were so looking forward to this game but now you just wanted to leave and go home, everything was going wrong and it was nothing like you had planned for weeks. Millie handed over her pass to the steward as Mack watched you still frantically trying to find the tickets you bought a month earlier, clicking the lock button he gestured for you to put your phone away with no explanation. “5 yeah? All good” the steward said in a bored and tired tone. You didn’t have a clue what was happening but Mack linked his arm in yours and shuffled you inside to seats that weren’t the ones you had carefully chosen when booking them. To be fair, they were really good seats just above the dugouts but you couldn’t help feeling on edge knowing these weren’t your booked ones and panicked someone was going to tell you to move at any moment. Millie sat down next to you with her huge England puffer jacket encroaching on your personal space, hearing every squeak of the fabric against the chair and rustling against your body, you had never felt more uncomfortable.
Noticing you were stimming – tapping your foot making your leg shake and fiddling with your thumb ring, Millie placed a hand heavily onto your thigh making your leg stop shaking instantly. This meant that your anxious energy couldn’t be released and was getting blocked up inside you. “What’s wrong?” she asked sounding genuinely concerned, moving her hood so you could see her face. “Nothing” shaking your head violently trying to stop her from asking anymore questions. You were trying so hard not to have a meltdown and anymore questions might push the tears you were trying desperately to hide out of your eyes, you really didn’t want her to witness this. You’d looked up to the defender since you were younger and you thought meeting her would be a dream but today has been nothing short of a nightmare. She’d hit all your triggers without even realising you had any and you were really struggling to hide your contempt. “Just tell me” she said forcefully. Staring out at the pitch you thought deeply about what you wanted to say but it all came blurting out like a car crash of words leaving your mouth. “I’m autistic and have ADHD, I’ve never been to this stadium before so looked up all the maps of how to get here and where our seats were, I like to be early so I know I’m in the right place, you took us a different way and sat me in a different seat, I always sit on the aisle so I don’t feel trapped, the Lionesses are my special interest, I didn’t get to watch the warm ups or feel the atmosphere before the game, I hate being late and your jacket is so noisy it’s making me want to throw something at you!” Your words left your mouth in one extremely long sentence barely making time to breath, your monotone voice wasn’t raised just sad nothing had turned out like you’d planned. You took a breath and let out a long sigh, feeling a slight release of letting it all out and finally able to look at her. “I’ve been looking forward to this day for ages then you turned up and changed everything, it’s been a lot to deal with” you finished calmly and honestly. Millie stared at you blankly like everything you had just said flew straight over her head. You couldn’t help that you felt uncomfortable, your friends knew what triggers you and could have been more understanding to all the plans changing – one change you could have dealt with but this.. this was a lot.
“Do you drink tea?” Millie asked you after a long awkward silence, nodding gently she asked how you have it then rose from her seat, re-emerging moments later with a cup in her hand. “Sit in this one” she gestured to the seat she was in before which was on an aisle then passed the cup to you; instantly feeling a little relief as the warmth spread through your fingertips to your palms. Hearing the loud zipper of her coat she took it off without any hesitation and started to put it around your shoulders. “What are you doing?” trying to shrug it off, wondering about her intentions, “trust me, it’s a like a big safety bubble, put it on” she nodded smiling for the first time today as encouragement. Feeling the warmth around your body and the weight of the coat acting like your heavy blanket at home you sunk into your new seat, your heart rate slowly returned to normal and your eyes were no longer acting like dams for your tears. “I’m really sorry (y/n), I didn’t realise” her words sounded sincere. “Why would you? I have to work very hard to appear like everyone else, to seem normal. Nobody would know unless I told them or I suddenly snapped. They’d just see me flip out over one tiny thing without recognising all of the other things that had lead me to have a meltdown” you said looking down at your cup, embarrassed with how honest and open you were being. “I get it, I really do” she smiled, taking hold of one of your hands and holding it between hers on her lap as the teams walked out onto the pitch immediately making you happy again. It’s like she had heard you, listened and understood exactly what you needed - to feel safe.
Millie held your hand throughout the entire game, stroking her thumb along yours intimitently to keep you grounded and only stopping when England scored or to top up your tea. You’re unsure how she went from standoffish and rude to caring and kind so quickly but you wish more people you told about your neurodivergence acted this way when they find out instead of looking at you weird and ignoring everything you’ve just said - despite the beginning of the day, you had a good night.
Standing up and unzipping the coat to return it to her she abruptly stopped you, pulling it back onto your shoulders. “It’s okay wear it home, it’s gotten cold now” her voice a lot softer than a few hours ago and certainly more bubbly than earlier in the evening. “I can’t do that this is part of your kit” you giggled nervously, still trying to take it off. “Well I can’t let you walk home cold can I” she shrugged joking like her hands were tied. You argued back and forth at who would take the coat until you finally accepted the kind gesture, “I’m a hot bod anyway” was her winning statement which made you smirk, ‘in more ways than one’ you thought to yourself. Millie asked to walk you out but you didn’t need babysitting and suggested she go congratulate her teammates instead. “I wasn’t implying that you need babysitting, I just wanted to make sure you’d get home okay” trying to justify her intentions. “Well I won’t be home for at least two hours so you’d be waiting a long time” you laughed, shuffling past her to try and make your exit. Millie was shocked with how long a journey you had and had assumed you lived near the stadium as you were at Mack’s earlier in the evening. You chatted until your friends were ready to leave and finally asked how she knows your friends, questioning why he has never mentioned knowing the defender before now. Turns out her mum knows his mum from grassroots and she very rarely pops by, the game just happened to have been played near their house and Mack hadn’t seen her since he was a child. “I’m sorry I made tonight tough for you” she said, touching your back for reassurance which you barely felt through the puffiness of the coat. “It’s okay, nothing a tea can’t fix” you’d had a good night in the end, knew why you were triggered and was able to get over it quickly with her help. “No it’s not okay, I should be more aware of how my words and actions affect people” she looked down at the ground with embarrassment. “It’s not your job to accommodate me” you said bluntly still feeling like she was babying you. Before she could reply Mack called out that they were ready to leave and interrupted your conversation. You thanked Millie again for the coat but insisted you wouldn’t need it as you’ll be sat on a train, trying for the last time to return the offering but once again she stopped you. “Can I drive you home?” This girl just doesn’t give up! You had to put your foot down and raised your eyebrow in a ‘I’m so done with you’ way, “okay! You don’t need babysitting, I get it! Keep the coat though please” she smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes over exaggeratedly, your eyes rolled and reluctantly agreed to keep her from continuing to fuss. Holding her arms out to initiate a hug, you hesitated but hugged goodbye quickly when she called you out for leaving her hanging then made your way to the station.
On your second train of the night you were now half way home with an hour to go when your phone pinged.
“Did you get home safe?”
“It’s Millie by the way”
“I asked Mack’s mum to send me your number 🙊”
3 messages came through immediately one after the other.
“Good job you’re a footballer cause you can’t count!” you replied sarcastically “two hour journey I said, not one!” Sending a selfie of yourself, hood up earphones in and very obviously still on a train.
M - “Wish you had just let me take you home, you’d have been in bed by now”
Y - “Still babysitting are we?”
M - “No just checking this cute girl I met tonight is safe, that’s all 🙂”
Struggling not to spit out your drink as you read the last message you stumbled over how to reply. Was she seriously flirting with you right now? Settling for a funny but ugly faced selfie with “cute you say? 😂” to gauge if she really was flirting or just being kind.
M - “Don’t ruin your pretty lil face please”
M - “Although if any creep comes and sits near you that face will make them run a mile 🤣”
Y - “Didn’t work on you though did it 😉”
M - “Cheeky! 😳”
M - “Sorry again about tonight”
Y - “You’re gonna have something to actually be sorry about soon if you don’t stop!”
Y - “Honestly it’s okay, your actions after I told you speak louder than your ones before”
M - “That’s a nice thing to say”
Y - “Yeah you’re not used to saying nice things are you!”
M - “Shut ittt! What ya listening to?”
Y - “Nothing, I just put them in so no one talks to me, I need to hear the station announcements otherwise I get distracted and miss my stop 🙃”
With that she tried to FaceTime you but assuming it was a mistake, you didn’t answer.
M - “You ignoring me now?”
Y - “Assumed it was a butt dial 🤷🏻‍♀️”
M - “No I wanna see your face”
Y - “I’ve already sent you a photo!”
Your message had barely delivered when she tried to call you again, staring at your phone for a while before reluctantly answering; you wanted to be left alone to process the day and unwind from the overstimulation you had endured for hours but here you were FaceTiming with Millie Bright. What a mad day! “You don’t give up easily do you?“ was your opening line, “not when I want something, no” she smiled from the other side of the phone. Giving her a stern look with a raised brow you really didn’t know how to take her, what you did know is that her cheeky smile made you feel warm inside... It was either that or her massive coat still wrapped around you! She asked how long until your station and set a timer so you didn’t miss it which you secretly thought was adorable and incredible thoughtful. “For someone who didn’t want my coat, you’re still wearing it” she teased, rolling your eyes again as you leant your head on the window. She asked you where home was and said again that she would have driven you as she lives near by, you replied cheekily that your mum told you not to get into a car with a stranger. “Strangers are we?” her voice turned high pitch and excitable, “we’re hardly anything other!” you hit back. Millie wanted to change that and asked you to tell her about yourself, explaining that you’re exhausted you suggested she go first as your blinking slowed, you barely had the energy to stay awake let alone make small talk.
“Okayyy... I’m Millie, 29 years old” you were surprised at her age as she seemed older which she jokingly took offence to. You exchanged birthdays, star signs and talked about family - something that means a lot to the both of you. “I’m a footballer, as you know” pulling a 💁🏼‍♀️ face, “oh are you? I didn’t know that! I did wonder how you got this coat” you said popping the hood sarcastically. “Can certainly tell you live up to your star sign, your sarc is off the charts!” seemingly impressed that someone can keep up with her banter. “Your simp is off the charts!” you snapped back quickly. “Shit, is it that obvious?” her eyes widened in shock as you nodded in a ‘well duh’ sort of way. “So you’ve known I’ve had the hots for you all this time and you’ve just been knocking me back?” she asked as she laid down on her bed holding the phone above her head looking sleepy and adorable. Telling her you couldn’t let her have it easy, plus you didn’t know if she was flirting or just being friendly because she fucked up earlier, Millie assured you she wouldn’t do that but you reminded her that you didn’t actually know her and it pays to be cautious. “You were a right bellend and then went all soft” you said kicking your feet up on the chair in front of you, “I was just having a bad day” she muttered glancing away from the camera, “wanna talk about it?”. She spoke about her day at Chelsea, they sent her away as she’s still not fit to play, she can’t talk about her injury as it’s in her contract not to, she just wanted to be playing with the girls and is sad she’s missing out on the last England camp before the World Cup. Camp is her fave place to be and was extra sad because she’s missing out on seeing her best friend.
The alarm went off on Millie’s phone so you knew the next stop was yours, you thanked her for keeping you company but she wouldn’t let you say goodbye until you were safe in your car. Nobody had cared this much about your safety before accept your mum but you were still sceptical whether it was because she felt guilty for causing you to have a meltdown earlier.
“Are you home?” pinged up on your phone as you pulled up on your driveway. You couldn’t help the corners of your mouth turn up as you saw her name flash but decided to keep her waiting while you made your way inside your home, turning on the lights and pulling on your bed clothes before falling into bed. Sending her a photo of your bedroom TV showing Friends and telling her to let you know an address to send her coat back to.
M - “The coat was a reason to see you again”
Y - “Oh and there was me thinking you were doing it out of the kindness of your own heart”
Your phone vibrated next to you as she tried to FaceTime you again, this girl just does not quit! “Are you single?” she immediately opened with as soon as you answered phone and plotted to play with her a little. “Who’s asking?” you teased, “me, obviously!” she giggled, anxiously waiting for an answer. “Oh no sorry, I’m taken” you paused before laughing. “Yes I’m single, haven’t found someone who can handle all this yet. I’m not into girls though soz” struggling to keep a straight face with the lie you told. “I don’t believe that, I’m not the only one who’s been flirting all night!” her voice once again high pitched as she sat up in bed appearing more alert with the conversation. “How dare you insinuate such a thing!” your tone turning dramatic, playing with her. You chatted for a little while until your eyes couldn’t stay open much longer and started to drift off. Millie watched you drop to sleep before hanging up, for some reason she wanted you and she wasn’t gonna stop until she got you.
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“Good morning beautiful 😘” was the first notification you saw when you picked your phone for the first time of the day to look at the time.
Y - “It’s been a long time since I woke up to one of those texts 🤭”
M - “I’m surprised about that”
Y - “get to know me better and maybe you won’t be lol”
M - “I’d like to, are you going to the game tonight?”
The text exchange had been non-stop since your train ride home a few days ago. You hadn’t gotten tickets for the England v Australia game tonight as the stadium looked tricky to get to and two unknown stadiums in one week was just a bit too much overstimulation for you. Millie wasn’t taking no for an answer though as she asked you to go with her and to meet at her house, she’ll drive so there’ll be no public transport involved. You said you’ll think about it but in typical Millie fashion she replied “it’s a date, be here at 7 😉” sending you a pin of her address. You didn’t reply after that, still trying to keep her guessing. Of course you’d go if it meant seeing Millie again, your head had been filled with thoughts of her since the day you met!
Pulling up on Millie’s drive and climbing out of your car, she must have been watching and patiently awaiting your arrival as her front door flew open the moment she heard the hum of an engine. “Nice coat!” she shouted from the doorway, “I’ve got my own in here” you called out to her when opening the boot of your car to look for it. “Keep it, it looks good on you” she winked, holding her arms out for a hug, kissing you on the forehead as she squeezed you tightly then held her passenger door open for you to slip in. “So..” she started after turning the radio down “I’m gonna park in the player’s car park and we’re gonna go in through the back door, they don’t show that on the map” - informing you of what’s going to happen tonight. It was admirable that she’d taken on board what you’d said last time and was trying to ensure that you would be comfortable. “I haven’t looked at the map for tonight, I trust you” turning to smile at her after clicking your seatbelt in place. For the first time in ages you’d agreed to a spontaneous plan and hadn’t researched it to an inch of it’s life. The conversations you’d had with her for hours on end made you feel safe, like you could rely on her to make sure you have a stress-free evening. “That’s probably the best compliment I’ve ever had” turning to look at you and squeezing your thigh. “Okayyy, what I’m hearing is that not a lot of people trust you so I shouldn’t?” jokingly opening the maps app on your phone. “No, stop. Obviously normal compliments are fine but being trusted feels better than say.. being called pretty or something” she shrugged. “Well you’re that too, I’ll see if I still trust ya at the end of the night” chuckling softly at the playful interaction. Both of you knew that the feelings between you were mutual and the days of pretending you didn’t were long gone.
Pulling into a space close to the England bus, Millie guided you across the car park towards the stadium, away from the hustle and bustle of thousands of fans making their way inside. As you neared closer her hand grazed against yours before locking your fingers together making your tummy do cartwheels. She flashed her lanyard and got waved inside, she lead you up the stairs and into a box, grabbing you both a tea and settling into your seats where she made sure you were on the aisle again. Eyeing up the line up together her head was almost on your shoulder as she leant over to look at your phone. The game was bleak, Millie watched you stand up and sit down every two minutes shouting support at the team, at a moment where you were sitting her hand found its way onto your thigh again “I love how into this you’re getting” she chuckled as softly as her eyes looked into yours. “I’m comfortable, I’m not like this if I’m not” shrugging at her comment. “Like the first game?” she asked, you nodded and explained how being yourself is harder when you’re uncomfortable then asked if she’s frustrated watching her team losing. “No, you watch the game but I’m studying it. Where we’re going wrong, what could have been done differently. It’s all learning. Yeah, it’s gutting but it helps us prepare for the World Cup… you carry on though, it’s cute” nudging her shoulder into yours. “My friends think I’m embarrassing” standing up again to watch a corner be taken, “I’d prefer you to be yourself” the defender’s hand grazed your back as she stood up next to you.
The evening was filled with smiley flirty glances towards each other and at half time she made her move, lifting her arm up and around your shoulders allowing you to snuggle into her. You reminded your date that the cameras would probably show her at some point but she didn’t care. This made you blush a little as you sunk further into her; with your feet up on the seats in front of you, it felt super cosy. The Lionesses came away with a loss, the first L under Sarina’s management. It was a tough pill to swallow as fan and player but you couldn’t have been prouder of the team. Losing made you appreciate women’s football, the crowd just accepted it and moved on. No arguments or swearing or violence - proud of the players regardless. Allowing the fans to trickle out of the stadium before making your exit, Millie held your hand every step of the way and once in the car park wrapped her arm around your shoulders again until you got to the car.
Her hand never left your thigh during the entire drive home and pulling up outside the house you were quick to climb out the car and wave goodbye, you desperately wanted to stay but suddenly felt awkward, what if she didn’t want to kiss you? You could never live with yourself if you were rejected. Heading towards your own car a hand clasped around your wrist, Millie was pulling you back towards her. “Can’t wait to get away from me aih?” she asked with a smirk as her forefinger stroked the hair out of your face. “No.. it’s not that..” looking down at your feet as your reply was muttered, “what is it then?” using the same finger to lift your chin so you were looking up at her. Her bright blue eyes and floppy blonde bun made you subconsciously moisten your lips as your eyes flickered between her facial features. This told Millie everything she needed to know as she moved her hand to the side of your neck and leant down to place a kiss softly upon your lips. Tiptoeing to meet her half way, her other hand held the small of your back pulling you closer into her, yours balanced on her hips as your lips entwined further. “Stay with me” escaped her mouth between kisses, your lips smiling against hers as small nods moved your head in agreement, faces still joined together until she pulled away to guide you towards the house. You’d had such a good night that you didn’t want it to end! Watching her close the door behind her you were quickly pulled back into her arms “I’ll have my coat back now” she smirked, pushing it over your shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. Kicking your shoes off she wrapped her arms around your waist and you draped yours around her neck, tiptoeing to reach her as your lips found their way together again. As she started to lift you up off the floor you broke away, “you shouldn’t be doing that!” concerned about her knee, “don’t worry about it” her voice had turned husky between kisses as you connected your legs around waist. She walked you over to the sofa, sitting down with you on top of her, hands on each others face. Pulling her bunchie out to release her wavy blonde hair made you smile more as it dropped past her shoulders. “You have a beautiful smile” she said tucking your hair behind your ears before kissing you again “I’ve been dying to do this since I met you” she whispered. You questioned her statement as she seemed so grumpy, she insisted that she was smitten the moment you shared your food with her. “That’s why I sat down next to you, I couldn’t have gone inside” she reassured you that she didn’t realise how blunt she came across, especially if you don’t know her very well. All that was blown away now as you felt her hands pull your head towards hers again, you spent the night getting to know each other’s mouths until you fell asleep on her chest. As she stroked your hair your mind filled with happy little flutters, you felt like you’d finally found your person, someone that took the time to truly understand you.
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dbs-scans · 6 months
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Halloween Event 2023 — The Kamome Monster Nursery Monstagram Account
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Hello all! In this post, we've compiled the event hosted on AidaIro's Twitter account in 2023 to celebrate Halloween: a return to the Kamome Monster Nursery!
This time, we take a look at the nursery's new social media account...
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🎃Announcement🎃 To all nearby residents: First, allow us to express our gratitude to everyone for always being such good neighbors to our monsters and researchers. Tonight, we have taken it upon ourselves to review a common concern we receive: that our facility seems dangerous and gives people the creeps.
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In light of this, we have decided to set up a social media account to allow all of you to see our monsters and researchers in action. By viewing the feats and day-to-day lives of our nursery, we hope it may help you better understand our noble mission. 🎃🎃🎃
—The large-scale social networking service, "Monstagram"... Apparently there's an account on there that posts not just the day-to-day lives of humans, but monsters as well...
What spine-chilling lives could these monsters possibly be leading? With shaky hands, I decided to take a peek at this "Kamome Monster Nursery" account on "Monstagram"...
There are already a few posts here. Now, which one should I view first...?
POLL:
【We're gonna bite'cha!】✅
【The Monster Prodigy】
【Aim to hollow out your opponent, and... Punch!】
【Who's up? ~Whispering Sweet Nothings・For Eternity...~】✅
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Alright, let's open up Monstagram...
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【Who's up? ~Whispering Sweet Nothings・For Eternity...~】 Oops! I accidentally clicked on a weird video! This man is treating me like a kitten. Is the sexy voice really necessary...? I think I'll go to sleep early tonight...
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【We're gonna bite'cha!】 It's a video of three monsters practicing their dance moves. Their footwork's a mess, but you can tell they're giving it their all. I wonder if they're going to put on a show...?
—Setting aside that researcher's cryptic video, it seems to me that the monsters are planning something. What could it be...? Now, which one should I look at tomorrow?
POLL:
【The Monster Prodigy】✅
【Aim to hollow out your opponent, and... Punch!】 
【Outing With the Older Boys】✅
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OK, let's open up Monstagram again...
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【Outing With the Older Boys】 Three monsters are being lead through town by an adult monster and an adult human male. The monster in front is leading them with a flag. He's so cool and collected... wow... I've decided: in my next life, I want to be reborn as a flag!
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【Target Spotted!】 I found the continuation to the last photo. It seems they went to the city to go shopping. The monster is pointing at a hat shop. I guess she found what she was looking for. That's nice.
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【The Monster Prodigy】 The three monsters are practicing writing. There are envelopes and stationery nearby. Are they writing a letter to someone...? The one with the best handwriting out of the three of them seems to be the one with all the wings growing out of it. That one's so skilled, I... I can't even read it...
—I feel like I'm beginning to get an idea of what the monsters are planning. I'll take a look at the rest of the posts tomorrow...
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I'm going to go on Monstagram today, too!
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【Secret Nightly Routine】 I-I didn't know monsters could be this adorable...!! The secret to keeping her tail so fluffy is by brushing it daily and bribing it with cookies, it seems.
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【Aim to hollow out your opponent, and... Punch!】 The Three Monsters are training. No way — are they preparing for battle...!? Maybe they're planning on beating somebody up. Monsters are awesome... ...
—Tomorrow it will finally be Halloween. I wonder how they're all going to spend it......
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Looks like they didn't post any updates on Monstagram today. The monsters and researchers must be too busy to post anything.
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Judging by the posts I saw, those monsters were probably doing all that work in preparation for today. I wonder if the three of them are enjoying Halloween with the researchers right now...? If they come to town, I'll hand out treats to them... ...
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🎃 Happy Halloween! 🎃
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334 notes · View notes
babyleostuff · 9 months
Note
Hi! Obsessed with ur writing!! Can I pls get boyfriend Hoshi? :) have a good day! ♥️
here is your Hoshi request <3 hope you'll enjoy it!
HOSHI AS YOUR BOYFRIEND
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genre | a lot of fluff
𓆩♡𓆪 you must totally support him in his horanghae agenda
𓆩♡𓆪 or else he’ll going to get sad and sulky 
𓆩♡𓆪 he also talks about you 24/7 and mentions you in every conversation possible 
𓆩♡𓆪 to the point where the boys are like: WE GET IT SOONYOUNG, YOU’RE IN LOVE 
𓆩♡𓆪 but it’s not his fault that you’re constantly on his mind
𓆩♡𓆪 is your personal ray of sunshine and source of energy 
𓆩♡𓆪 because he cannot contain his excitement when he’s with you, whatever you may be doing 
𓆩♡𓆪 texts you a lot thought the day, keeping you updated (especially when they’re shooting gose, he always sends you photos from the set), but also asks about how your day is going 
𓆩♡𓆪 gets so so happy whenever you give him surprise visits at the company or when they’re shooting something 
𓆩♡𓆪 but at the same time he is a bit sad, because he would like you to be able to participate in their games and activities
𓆩♡𓆪 you always assure him that you don't mind standing by and watching them having a good time
𓆩♡𓆪 because at the same time you take a lot of funny pictures that you can later use together for blackmail 
𓆩♡𓆪 because his job often gets overwhelming, you’re the first person he looks for when he’s in need of comfort 
𓆩♡𓆪 he is naturally a very affectionate person
𓆩♡𓆪 but with you he’s 10x more 
𓆩♡𓆪 one of the small spoons in seventeen
𓆩♡𓆪 I can practically hear his giggles, as he settles himself in your arms 
𓆩♡𓆪 he doesn’t mind being the big spoon though 
𓆩♡𓆪 but because his job often gets overwhelming, you’re the first person he looks for when he’s in need of comfort 
𓆩♡𓆪 and what better place to hide than in your arms 
𓆩♡𓆪 loves giving you surprise kisses (always giggles as he runs away from you, because he gets shy)
𓆩♡𓆪 OR on the days when he’s feeling bold he just stands his ground and smirks at you (which you find so annoying, because ugh, how can someone be so hot and perfect)
𓆩♡𓆪 he thrives when you take care of him
𓆩♡𓆪 it makes him all fluffy and mushy, because he gets to spend time with his favourite person 
𓆩♡𓆪 plus you shower him with love and attention 
𓆩♡𓆪 the best dates in his opinion are when he takes you out to the movies or to a nice, low-key restaurant 
𓆩♡𓆪 because then he can be himself 
𓆩♡𓆪 not an idol, not Hoshi 
𓆩♡𓆪 but Soonyoung
𓆩♡𓆪 you’ve probably tried to film some dancing challenges 
𓆩♡𓆪 most of them end up with either him or you on the ground for some reason 
𓆩♡𓆪 but you cannot take anything seriously when you’re together 
𓆩♡𓆪 so in the midst of your laughing fit, he drops you to the ground 
𓆩♡𓆪 which only makes you laugh even more
𓆩♡𓆪 your love is what teenage love should look like
𓆩♡𓆪 fresh, full of support and laughter 
𓆩♡𓆪 but also knowing that you can fully rely on the other person
𓆩♡𓆪 you bring the best out of each other 
𓆩♡𓆪 there are no borings days when you’re together, even if you’re just resting at home 
𓆩♡𓆪 as long as you’re together, you’re having the time of your lives
your messages <3
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309 notes · View notes
suhjihanma · 7 months
Text
☩ ℑ𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔅𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔰 ☩
☩Kink (10) : Age-gap. ☩Pairing: Toji Fushiguro / Female Reader ☩Word Count: 1,951 ☩Content Warning: Barely legal, massive age-gap (reader recently turned 18. Toji hinted towards late 30s-early 40s), turning of legal age, dirty talk, mentions of suggestive sexting, hooking up, building experience inside the bedroom, hints of a no-string relationship, mentions of teachings, Toji simply wants to 'corrupt' your purity even more. ☩Author's Note: This kink can skirt around the contents that may be disturbing. You have been warned. Minors, kink shamers, and ageless blogs do not interact. I was originally supposed to post this yesterday, but my period cramps had me in a choke hold. If you're curious enough to read, then likes and reblogs are much appreciated. Also, I will post an updated master list post tomorrow since tumblr decided to hide my posts regarding kinktober on my blog. Funny since they're others roaming around this site with nudes.
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The feeling of the premature cool breeze grazed gently across the tall yet beautifully builded back of a man who was quite certain that he was under prepared. As to why he was waiting in the breeze questioning his life choices, Toji Fushiguro couldn’t pass on an opportunity that was going to be placed in front of him sooner than not.
Sunset was pulling its curtain across the city skyline as he waited patiently in the cold, with the slight occurrence of becoming one second of timidness. The street lights continuously flicker along with the crowd passing along the grit filled sidewalks. Toji’s head, that was occupied with the numerous profiles of women with ‘copy-catted’ personalities, now gain attention to the passing masses. People that had plans to attend, memories to create, and all other things that Toji could mention off the head. It wasn’t as if he was a people-watcher, but he wanted something to get his mind off from things. 
It was one of those things where he continuously questions his moral rights and wrongs. He could be better than any man yet, he steers across things that have no genuine value. As the activity of people watching began to bore the mind of an anxious wait, Toji quickly fumbled across the screen of his phone, tapping and swiping through every profile that garnered the attention of the personal male gaze. Endless body dresses that hugged tightly across well graved curves, smiles that brighten the room of a nightclub, and to even the pestering pets that seemed to be across every photo, Toji’s endless swipes of a potential could gain him more satisfaction than seeing it in person. 
The eyes cater to the imagination, after all.
Besides the careless decisions of choosing which profile to like or dislike on, Toji had already picked out someone to meet up in person. It was not wrong, per se, to just slowly kill time by waiting for someone. Someone that piqued his interest while being on the so-called “god-forsaken” dating app. A person who actually had some personality of sorts, and didn’t follow any ridiculous social trends that were making its way across users in the social media age. 
That person was you.
It all started with a conversation about the concepts of luck. Some are born with it, others have to try their damndest to reach the pinnacles of it. A snarky comment was made on one of your dating prompts that was listed on your profile. You answered a question about “What was your luckiest night?” and you stated you won three gambling scratch-offs in one week (but you didn’t mention how all three scratch-offs were given to you on your birthday). Now, Toji and you were providing counterproductive arguments on skills, talents, and other unnecessary topics that grew away from the main topic at hand. As the topic became more intense, so did Toji’s findings of word choice.
Toji flipped over to the ‘messages’ section of the app and saw the conversations that he had with you, prompting the whole meetup. Prude, yet exhilarating as Toji was a man of pure excitement. The rush of overtly sexual heeds grew to be more enticing with every message being sent. 
“ If you want to test your luck, try it with me.” “Really? So corny, yet, I like it.” “You’re gonna like more when I’m pinning you down in that mattress.” “Oh my god.” “With clothes off that is” “So, are we just gonna be fucking on screen or meet in person?” “Coffee shop nearby the pier tonight.” “I’ll be there...”
Toji felt himself getting uncomfortable underneath his beltline. The stiffness slightly grew by each sigh, reminding himself of his behavior in public. Toji could feel like many women might find this off-putting. This could be the start of something. Anything. As a man pushing towards the doors of middle-age, chasing women who didn’t satisfy his needs became tiresome. What happened to a woman who wasn’t scared to become enticed by different things, to be put in her place, anything to be dominated by a man’s hands? Toji’s mind raced with every description as he looked up to the sky, clouds murked in gray while a faint, yet , gentle voice eloped his hearing. The faint question of a hello soon to get his attention as he looked over, eyes slowly widening with delight with a small smile on his face, wordlessly greeting the person standing in front. 
“Hello. Are you, Toji?” 
The woman that was standing in front of him made Toji want to ditch the formal etiquettes of greetings and engage in being the feral man that he is. The dark-colored dress didn’t do justice to man's imagination as he wondered what could be underneath that curvaceous frame. The ampleness of the breast weighed at the top, and the hair that was well kept even with the cool breeze that was circling around. A striking woman at that, Toji was lost for words until you greeted yourself again, this time with more of light humor.
“Yes.” He gulped. 
You couldn’t help but to smile at his sheepish nature. 
The continuous awe became more prevalent until you decided to cut the awkward-like air.
“My body can't be that amazing, can't it?” You suggestively curt your words with a smirk before sitting down on the bench Toji once previously sat on. Toji’s trance was soon broken as the humorous banter created an alleviating conversation. A scoff was made as Toji sat down next beside you. The infectious smile crept into a suggestive smirk of his own. 
“Body nice enough to make a man silent, that’s for sure.” Toji stated. The side of her hips was touching the fabric of his pants, along with the sweetly made body perfume that dances across his nostrils, the man’s gaze soon to be all over your body. Not that staring wasn’t any bad, but being beside you, the impure thoughts that Toji could dream of with any woman proved to be more strong.
 The phone that was placed snug in his pockets soon was taken out of his hands. As he glanced over your profile briefly, he looked over at the pictures before taking another well-studied glance at you. As he quietly studied the profile that was in his hands, a profile that reflected well on personality and mannerism, Toji decided it was best to engage with the bantering atmosphere. 
“Can’t believe that you’re young and have a body like this,” Toji compliments, noticing the age listed on your profile.
“Well…” Stammering your words, finding to complete your sentence grew to be hard as you looked down at the concrete before a sense of heat formed across your cheeks. Toji studied you with confusion before you blurted out something of personal social regret. 
“I just turned eighteen two weeks ago.” The redness grew to be more irritating as you looked at him with an awkward glance of regret. Embarrassing at best, you wished you could force your body to crawl into the fetal position, sulking at your social skills. The dooming head of shame became more strong as Toji stiffened his laughter. 
Dumbass.
“Forget you heard that.” You quietly grumbled, your head now downcasted to the dark concrete floor that made itself a platform of your designer heels. You wanted to curse yourself for saying such idiotic things in front of a man, yet for some reason, the air that surrounds you two grew to be quite forgiving. 
“Really? Barely legal.” Toji jokes before stiffening out another laugh. The continuous bantering that came from the older man grew to be tiring as you looked away towards him with a displeased expression. Toji looked over towards you and his face softened once the realization of the jokes became tasteless for the evening mood. “Forgive the jokes.” He apologized, placing his phone away in his pocket again before he rose from slumping on the bench. A posture that many men do not present when facing potential in a relationship. 
“You are forgiven, old man.” You joked, a genuine smile forms across the corners of your mouth. 
“Says the person who had ‘shitty’ sexual encounters.” Toji quotes you before smirking.
Seeing the eyebrows raised from the man next to you, you tutted quietly before tucking a strand of hair behind your ears. Toji’s expressions grew to be priceless as the gentle banterings ascended to deeper, yet sensual, conversing. 
Two eyes crossing one another, body warmth shared with being close under the chilled night sky. The scene had become more intense with the hints of hooking up. No strings attached. It wasn’t as you wanted casualness, you simply wanted someone experienced. Gone were the days of ‘shitty sexual encounters’ of sneaking off into your room or car, going down on some pubescent, raging teenager who couldn’t hold an orgasm for one minute (you gave those guys the catchphrase ‘one-minute-men’). Now, you stood against someone that had more experience than any other man you have been with. 
And, Toji was the perfect example of a well-experienced man.
Speaking of experiences, your mind randomly crossed over a conversation that you had with him in regard. Hearing his endless teasing and boasting about how women fawn over a man that has such ‘heavenly’ fingers is anything but ridiculous. Staring aimlessly at his sculpted thighs that hugged his black jeans ever so snuggly, your mind instantly plays the messages that were received and back.
“You might gain more experience with me, baby.” “Really now? How?” “Got to break that body somehow.” “Uh-huh.” “I can show you how to squirt. Suck a nice cock while getting played with a toy.” “There’s Pornhub for that, love.” “Yes, but how about it in real life?”
The mindless conversation of battling horniness soon waned as you now saw Toji looking over at you, his hands sneaking over to the waist that rested on the back of his arms. A gentle smile greets itself again before he whispers something in your ear. 
Toji simply wants to break you.
“Still want me to erase those ‘shitty encounters’ that you had? Fuck you so deep that you have a craving for older dick?”
The gruff voice that became smothered with honey and sin made you want to form a puddle between your legs. The bassness made every strand of your hair stand at the back of your neck as you looked at him with doe-like eyes, pondering about what move he will make next. With such grit, the filterless choice of words became more enticing that came from Toji’s smooth lips.
 The light in his eyes flickered as he looked over at you with eyes slightly narrowed. Eyes that showed his nature of being a fiend for everything that has such a semi-pure physique facing in front. Disgusting, many might seem to find, yet for Toji, it was something he couldn’t escape from, especially a woman like yourself, showing off every hint of piqued curiosity and pureness.
Hearing that sentence filled with gruffness in his tone of voice, you gulped quietly before answering his question, narrow eyes not leaving the blessed assets of your beauty. 
“And what if I don’t hold those strong cravings?” You lightly tease. 
Adding fuel to the fire only amplified Toji’s yearning for you as he got closer to your face before placing a chasteful kiss on your redden cheeks that now became heated with lust. 
“Then, I’ll just keep fucking you until you have them. Every day, every night.”
And with that, the two of you left your seats from the bench to grab the last batch of strong, roasted coffee within thirty minutes of closing time.
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02chois · 1 year
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HOW TXT COURTS YOU
pairing: OT5 (separate) x gn! reader
synopsis: they try to court you in their own silly ways
word count: 1.4k words
genre: fluff and nothing but fluff
content warning: may cause heart attack from cuteness /j, not proofread, non-idol au, university au, cheesy scenes
note: you can tell I had so much fun writing this lol
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SOOBIN
Listen he's so shy but he will do anything just to see you so he will visit your class for a moment just to greet you. The man will make sure he'll see you smile for the upcoming day because it motivates him to do better :((
The first thing you'll see after class is Soobin waiting for you by the room's door and he's not just standing there, he's holding a bunch of flowers or food that he's sure you like
He'll have this shy smile when you thank him and he'll just nod and carry your bag for you so you can eat properly
LISTEN— he won't just wait for you after class, he'll also walk you home because he wants you to be safe! He's so sweet I swear
And tbh you won't need to get his parents' approval if ever you decide to date him because you're already loved by his parents by how much he talks about you to them
Despite his shyness he will try to make it known that he's courting you and he wants to make an effort because if he did decide to just admire you from afar he won't be with you like this everyday
Soobin's part of the student council so sometimes he's not there with you all the time, but still you'll see tons of notifications from him just updating you and asking about your day :') he'll even call you and let you talk about anything
Because of his lack of experience, he tries to ask his friends for advice in how to woo you but tbh he doesn't need to because he already has your heart hehe just being himself is enough
YEONJUN
Oh mister popular here is courting you but because of his reputation it's kinda lowkey? And don't get him wrong cus he's only protecting you from those who wishes to see your downfall
If people aren't so mean he'd yell out your name and tell everyone how much he likes you, but unfortunately you're not safe to those people who are jealous of you
But don't worry about his ways of courting being lowkey because he'll still show how he likes you through subtle matching things
May it be bracelets, necklaces, or shoes even because he wants to match with you and every time he sees you wear them it makes his heart melt :'D
There's also a reason why he wants to keep it low for a bit because he feels like you're still uncomfortable, also because he's quite an outgoing person and will tell everyone proudly that you're his (soon to be) partner
He's the type to give you his jacket as well like you own three of his hoodies at this point and they all smell like his cologne, and tbh if you like the scent he'll even gift you his cologne
Oh also he'll be so happy if you soft launch him in your social media, like posting a photo of him without showing his face? He'll d word from happiness and you're also keeping it lowkey and it's like this little cute secret of yours
And don't worry cus he'll soft launch you too, maybe too much cus he likes to post photos of you together without your face showing and he'll only show your face when you officially say you're comfortable with letting a lot of his following know who you are!
BEOMGYU
Oh ho he's your classmate so best believe he's going to do anything just to sit right next to you
And every morning you'll see a letter with cute decorations and written with such nice handwriting :(( not to mention he always makes sure to ask about your well being and if you're eating well, sometimes he'll give you a candy or two!! Especially when you mention you like it
Oh boy since he's your seatmate he'll also stop by and eat with you and your friends, he'll also sit next to you and try to impress you with anything he's got like pLS he'll even try to do tricks just to make you laugh
The rare times you're not in the same class, he'll walk past your classroom and look through the window and wave at you so make sure to look at the door's little window cus Beomgyu's there to see you <3
Listen again— LISTEN!! He'll say he's not worried but dude will wait for you at your house's front gate so you can go to school together and you're wondering if your mom knows him
And she definitely knows him cus everytime you go home by yourself and Beomgyu's not with you she asks you where he is :(( she assumes he's your bf aAAAAA and you say not yet (HE HAS A CHANCEEEEE)
And ya know there's events and festivals at uni, right? If there's a singing contest he will be there and he'll sing this really cheesy song because it reminds him of you so much 😭 he'll have this stupid grin cus the moment he sees you flustered it's a success hehe
TAEHYUN
He's a star athlete and part of the top students in your uni and you're wondering what made him like you so much to the point he's courting you???? But like dude's so head over heels
He'll ask you if it's alright for you to wait for him to finish practice and if he's in the middle of shooting a ball, he'll wink at you and he's so confident it'll shoot pLS and wHEN IT DOES— he turns to point at you and smile
Dude cannot contain his smile when you go and wipe his sweat off his face and give him his water bottle 😭😭 he's screaming inside and the teasing from his friends doesn't even help
He's lowkey your tutor too so visits to the library is quite common but it always ends up with the both of you as a giggling mess 😟
Taehyun would slide in flirting in between him tutoring you and later you'd set the notebook aside and entertain him so— it ends up just you two trying to fluster each other aAAAA
He'd take you out after his practice before taking you home so he'd either be scolded by your parents or assume you guys went on a date and have this knowing smile as he waits for you to go inside before he leaves hehe
Honestly?? Taehyun would still video call you even after his training cus he wants to hear you talk and just watch you do anything even in silence, and later you'll see him sleeping… bby needs his rest and you'd have a fond smile as you end the call and msg him "goodnight <33"
then the next morning you'll see "good morning beautiful" from him
HUENINGKAI
Fear not because his whole family knows you already and they already gave their approval cus of how much he talks about you to them like he literally won't shut up!!
But tbh he's not from your class and the moment he knew who your homeroom professor was, he always offered to help him with his things and he gets to visit your classroom just to get a glimpse of you
He heard you like plushies??? OH he has a ton he'll give a gift for you and tell you all about the ones he has and even lets you keep some of his and aASJNDSJ some of them smells like him bro?? It's so comforting :((
Dude will send you tons— I mean tons of memes as a form of a conversation starter, he doesn't know what to talk about so he always makes up an excuse to talk to you and even irl even if he doesn't have the same major he'll find a reason to study with you 😭
He's your number one hype man like?? He'd be so loud cheering for you and even if you fail he'll still be so proud sERIOUSLY the boy likes you so much that he doesn't care if you fail or whatever cus the most important thing to him is that you're happy
He's the type to spontaneously show up on your front door and ask your parents if he could borrow you for the day and they allow you to go cus wow who is this beautiful boy-
You like online gaming? Best believe you're always his player 2 and he would even teach you how to play, he'll encourage you too like pls!! Don't listen to the random players cus he'll protect you if you don't know how to play <33
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rebeccathenaturalist · 8 months
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*deep breath* This, folks, is EXACTLY why I am writing The Everyday Naturalist. Because it's not enough to have an app. You HAVE to know how to use multiple identification tools and have keen observational skills if you are going to safely forage or otherwise identify things in nature.
Here's the deal. Apps are a tool. They are not infallible, and they should never, ever, EVER be your only tool for identifying mushrooms and other organisms. This goes even moreso for when you're trying to determine whether something is edible or not. I go into more detail about why apps should never be used by themselves in this article that I wrote a few months back, but let's explore a bit more about how an app works.
Any identification app has access to a particular database of pictures and other information for various species. In the case of my favorite app, iNaturalist, it draws from the over 156 million (and growing) observations of animals, plants, fungi, and other living beings that have been uploaded to it over the years.
When you upload a photo to an app, your phone usually inputs the date, time, and GPS location automatically, though these can be updated manually if need be. Then the app's algorithms sift through the database looking for species that are found in the same location at the same time of year, and which have similar photos.
Notice that I said SIMILAR, not identical. Many organisms, to include many fungi, have varying appearances based on subspecies, life stage, and other factors. And there are a lot of species that have close lookalikes, whether we're talking birds, wildflowers, mushrooms, etc.
So the algorithms then use their search results to give you their suggestion(s) of what most closely resembles the organism you are trying to identify. Some give you one answer; others, like iNaturalist, offer you a list to choose from, and may also qualify their response with "We're not sure, but these were found nearby" or something similar. The first one on the list is NOT always going to be the correct answer. However, the app doesn't have reasoning skills, and all it can do is play match-up and then produce suggestions based on that. (Yes, other iNaturalist users can come along and comment on your observations once you've uploaded and saved them, but you always want to carefully assess their claims, too.)
There are several toxic mushrooms that are implicated in poisonings on a regular basis; among them are what I call the "deadly Amanitas": the death cap (Amanita phalloides) and the destroying angels (A. bisporigera, A. ocreata, and A. verna.) In addition to these species' respective native ranges in Europe and North America, some have managed to make their way to other parts of the world. This includes in Australia, where there is a current investigation underway over a woman who fed several family members deadly Amanitas, three of whom have died.
These poisonous mushrooms have several edible lookalikes. As one example, while matsutakes (Tricholoma matsutake) are often brown, they may sometimes appear white, especially if the brown layer has peeled off. And field mushrooms (Agaricus spp, especially A. bisporus and A. campestris) are also large white mushrooms, though their gills and spores tend to be brown rather than the white of Amanita species.
Still, someone taking a picture of a large white mushroom--especially if they neglect to take another picture of the gills (the more pictures you take, the better)--could easily end up with an app telling them an Amanita is an Agaricus. Or they might read that some people think it's safe to eat Amanita muscaria if you parboil it long enough, and assume that other Amanita species are the same way (one of MANY reasons I do not advocate for treating A. muscaria as an edible.)
So--again--DO NOT USE APPS AS YOUR ONLY ID TOOL. Use them in conjunction with multiple field guides, websites, other foragers, etc. Practice using these tools and developing a critical eye before you go out foraging. Be super cautious, and when in doubt, throw it out.
And my inbox is ALWAYS open, as is my email (rebeccathenaturalist(at)gmail(dot)com.) You can ALWAYS email me with questions about field guides, apps, and other resources, and I am also happy to look at pictures of mushrooms (and other living beings) you're trying to identify, whether edible or not. You might need to give me a few days to reply, but I will get back to you. Don't use ME as your only source, either; I'm just one person. But I can point you to online groups that are also good resources.
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kittiesandkillers · 3 months
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Nononono keep going I wanna hear about freaky kylar
Fine but it's not my fault if you're traumatized by the headcanons section.
Vrel said that Kylar is one of the kinkiest characters but they themself aren't aware of it since we're their first partner.
Kylar obviously has a breeding kink so I don't have to explain myself there.
Kylar is also strongly implied to be masochistic(to a lesser extent than Sydney, of course).
There are a couple of scenes that show that they're into some light knife play. The knife play becomes not so light when Kylar's at high jealousy.
The fact that they gave us a gift with a camera in it may imply that they're into voyerism. Not to mention the fact that they're a literal stalker.
The (semi) public sex scenes show some light exhibitionism (not even close to that of Whitney's though).
(High jealousy) Kylar is one of, if not the only character who has a somnophilia scene despite Vrel's comment about not wanting to add much somnophilia since they themself aren't into it.
They absolutely have a marking kink, it just makes sense. The scenes that imply it are there.
They might be a little bit sadistic based on some of their high jealousy scenes.
Kylar is a panty thief which means that they definitely have a scent kink.
I'm 90% sure that they choke us at least once during a high jealousy scene, and Vrel said that they'd be into being choked.
This isn't a kink per se but they canonically use their own drawings as masterbation material and Vrel said that they'd do the same with AI generated images of us as well.
Also they own a custom made sexdoll that looks just like us so that's gotta count for something.
(Update) Bondage is a maybe purely because they have tied us up, mainly to kidnap us but I'll count it regardless.
And those are the ones that I can back up with evidence.
I've seen a few people saying 'Kylar would be into (insert nasty thing here)' and I, unfortunately agree with a lot of them. So here's my grossness warning.
'Painting' us, which is supported by a scene where we're wearing a chastity belt.
Jerking off on/in our clothes and making us wear it afterwards. Which is supported by their marking kink and their scent kink.
Wanting us not to bathe so that they can get off better to our smell. As supported by their scent kink.
Similarly to 3, not wanting us to change our clothes as often so that our smell is stronger/lasts longer when they steal our clothes to get off to.
Carving their name into us, only at max jealousy of course. As supported by their knife play kink, their marking kink and their sadism at max jealousy.
Mad/sad jerking it to pictures of us online because how else would they know about all those photos of us without actively searching for them?
Pleasuring themself with any gift that we give them.
Giving us food with their bodily fluids mixed into it. This is one of the reasons why their food is so bad.
Piss kink but only at max jealousy because they'd get bladder shy otherwise. (Edit: piss kink made canon.)
(Update) Fucking our pillow and or blankets because it smells like us and to make something of ours smell like them for the same reasons as number 2.
(Update 2) Honestly, probably anything that has to do with our bodily fluids.
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