you don't understand guillermo and his arc

have i got your attention?

hello, my name is nia, and welcome to me opening a blog solely for the sake of yelling into the void my analysis/meta of the haha hehe silly vampire show.

Small introduction/index right before beginning:

Spoilers for s5 finale!

Re-framing of what wwdits is really about and setting the record straight as what to expect and what not to be angry about.

Discussing how Guillermo's arc of letting go of his vampirism isn't, in fact, a let down or a missed opportunity and quite the opposite, is in character for him, in line with his character arc, and wasn't "all for nothing".

Long ass post (not exaggerating), so click "read more" and buckle up. Here we go.

I have to start this by reiterating that first and foremost, this is a batshit insane comedy show with batshit insane, morally bankrupt (yet endearing) and complex characters. It's not interested in telling a story or a plot, it's not interested in being pretentiously deep, and I say that for the people who can't really come to terms with the format and that the show is going nowhere, because it's not supposed to be going anywhere, it's just the daily lives of vampires and their little adventures and sometimes struggles. In a weird way, it's slice of life.

This show isn't like Good Omens or Our Flag Means Death in which you're concerned with an overarching plot. Even season 4 and 5 seem to look like it has an overarching plot, the term you're looking for is contained theme of the season. It's like "villain of the week" format. Only for the seasons. S1 we had the baron, s2 we had vampire slayer guillermo, s3 we had the vampire council, s4 we had nadja's night club, s5 we had vampire guillermo -- and these are just very broad summaries.

There ISNT an overarching plot, it's the character arcs that are starting to pick up, which guillermo's is the strongest and most reoccurring.

It's episodic even when there's a theme and plot of a season, and it's meant to be bite-sized and contained and followable. Someone who doesn't know this show can watch one episode from season one and one from season three and it wouldn't be that jarring depending on the episodes, like, the cast were able to answer "what episodes would you recommend to someone who hasn't watched the show" on the tumblr live ask.

The writers and the producers of wwdits are concerned with making you laugh, exploring how insane and unexpected places they can take things with a cast of vampires of the past who haven't quite adapted to the modern times and are devoid of common sense and knowledge most of the time in a mockumentary style. Yes, you know this already, I know, it looks like I'm being patronizing or condescending.

But do you know, really? I'm talking to a certain demographic, so please don't take this personally.

What most of these people consider dropping the show over, like the reasons "nothing changes" or "things go back to the usual and it's getting old" or "they throw ideas away" or "serious stuff gets brushed over so quickly" don't consider that these are often done on purpose.

Half because of the format and that the documentary crew can't be there all the time to capture every little thing and character moments you are naturally given in a normal TV show/movie, and half because it's one of the core themes of the show, that nothing ever really changes and these are centuries old vampires who are so closed off to change. That's the thing. That's what it's all about and that's where all the jokes are stemming from.

In a normal comedy show, you might perhaps see the characters being unhinged together, but you would also get to see their most private and vulnerable moments, (like maybe brooklynn 99), and you take that as granted, it's sometimes spoon-fed through cinematography and what's purposefully caught in camera per director and writer choices.

wwdits follows a very clear show-don't-tell narrative of characters putting on a front for the cameras, and you have to read between the lines more often than not to figure out these unreliable narrators, otherwise you might miss some things and take it at face value.

one example of this in my opinion is the relation between laszlo, baby colin robinson, the bastard children he doesn't like to talk about and the baby he turned into a vampire. the latter is very much played as a joke, the bastards are throw away line by nadja, but when you take baby colin into the picture and how happy it made laszlo to be a father (no matter how questionable), how (questionably) amazing he was at it, and how losing baby colin robinson downright made him grieve and mourn (like. he abandoned nadja to look after this child), you get a clearer picture as to why laszlo might have made a baby into a vampire and why he doesn't like to talk about the children he's fathered. maybe it's because he wanted to be a parent at one point, maybe with a vampire baby he could have a child who wouldn't die. it seems deeper than it was at first glance, the complexity is hidden beneath the layers of vampires being funny assholes.

other times you have to not overthink it and learn to accept some things are purely for shits and giggles. no matter how many levels of fucked up they are on. it's literally no use discussing the morality or how wrong things are. and on a framework such as this, the running gag being characters being left somewhere when their plot-relevance is over (benjy, jim the vampire, derek, the hybrid creatures etc.) shouldn't come off as surprising or lazy writing. because that's it, that's the joke.

This isn't to say this is a get out of the jail free card for not having progression or development.

I'm just saying that the vampires getting into shenanigans and everything being okay in the end despite all the drama is the status quo, and if you're going to have a problem with "sunrise sunset" and are so impatient with the theme of change being explored at a slow pace, then this show is not for you.

You are perfectly welcome to be frustrated with everything resetting, but you also have to know this is what you signed up for. The show is both trying to tell you something using this storytelling device to navigate the inherent cycle of stagnated repetition of the vampires' lives AND showing you that things ARE changing at the end of every season, bit by bit.

It's entirely on you that you don't notice and/or care it wasn't in the way you wanted it to be.

Like what they did with Guillermo.

The consensus of the arguments I've seen on this site consist of:

they finally made him a vampire and took it away from him and it was for nothing

it wasn't explored enough and well-enough

it breaks canon for him to be so squeamish about killing when he's been committing atrocities the whole show and it's a lazy reason to turn him back

nothing came of it. it ruins his character

he should have stayed a vampire it's what he wanted and deserved all along

it doesn't make sense with the narrative, they are writing him so differently now like he suddenly doesnt want to be a vampire? his character arc peaked in s3

First question: have we been watching the same show?

I'm going to walk you through this step by step for analysis sake, bear with me.

Who is Guillermo de la Cruz at the beginning of the show?

He is a fucking loser.

He is a pushover, has no confidence, deep down he's become so twisted from all the resentment and spite built up from being so overlooked, underappreciated and being cast aside. He has no life, he pays to live there as a familiar, his entire life is dedicated to Nandor, he's so tiny, has no presence.

And we establish his main motivation and want: to become a vampire.

But why does he want to be a vampire? Antonio Banderas in Interview with a Vampire. This apparently "inspired Guillermo because he had never seen another Hispanic person onscreen as a vampire". Yes, he projected and self-inserted to Armand, yes we know.

When you look closer, you'll pretty soon understands he craves the power he'll receive once he becomes a vampire. He'll become cooler, "sexier" (like he says that he doesn't feel any sexier when he became a vampire), nobody can look down on him, he can finally be someone, leave the old, pitiful Guillermo behind, it's all he's betting on. He doesn't want to grapple with his problems, the sexuality he represses, the Catholic guilt; he wholeheartedly assumes he'll just be a new person once he becomes a vampire, and for that, he'll do anything. He doesn't want to be a vampire, he wants to be a new, burden-free, hot-girl-eternal summer Guillermo who will demand respect just by existing.

Vampirism is the get out of the jail free card for him. The easy way out of his flaws and insecurities.

There's something called character's want vs. need in writing. What a character wants may not always be what they need. This is perfectly portrayed with Guillermo. Becoming a vampire isn't necessarily what he needs.

What he needs is making peace with himself, growing, acceptance, love, establishing confidence, finding his power -- self-growth.

the problem is he thinks vampirism will automatically give these to him. it couldn't be farther from the truth. this is a typical case of thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

So, naturally, discovering he's a vampire slayer is ruining everything for Guillermo, setting him up against the vampires whom he's trying to be a part of, to be accepted and loved by. It's threatening his found family.

Even though it's the most competent, confident, sexiest, and in element he's ever been in his life. It's what he's best at, when he's doubting himself the least, when he shines the most, the abilities come to him from within.

And he can't allow himself to embrace it. He still thinks vampirism will give him what being a Van Helsing is already giving him. He's gaining his footing, sticking it to the vamps who don't appreciate him where they deserve it, standing up for himself, being sassy and cunty, opening up, GROWING.

Yet he doesn't see it.

He believes he'll be whole once he becomes a vampire. You see him benefit so much from the van helsing genes but not once does he embrace it or actually celebrate his identity, embrace himself and who he is when it's what made him bloom in the first place. HE DOESN'T SEE IT.

He wants to renounce being a vampire slayer. He says it in season 5 to the baron. He full on wants to give up what makes him, him.

Hell, the symbolism of being a vampire slayer getting in the way of his transformation by fighting off the vampirism is so ironic and symbolic at the same time:

He can't find his true self and what his heart truly wants and needs if he doesn't give up the idea of being a fucking vampire. His true self has been within all along.

Guillermo's arc didn't peak in s3, it wasn't even close to being completed, because he hasn't found himself yet, he hasn't accepted himself yet. He hates being a vampire slayer deep down for setting him against the vampires and what he wants to become. Yes, he went through tremendous growth. He was powerful, he gained agency. But it was because THE POWERS VAN HELSING DNA GAVE HIM ON A SILVER PLATE. It wasn't that he accepted it. It wasn't that he found a sense of self in it.

He just got a preview of what he could become, is all. It made him think he was ready to become a vampire. He would never choose to stay a human/vampire slayer before the events of s5, it's always been about the endgame for him.

And it's so sad because Nandor is like. So stoked about vampire slayer Guillermo. He's so proud and giddy about him "being a warrior" because he knows Guillermo better than anyone and just when and how he's at his best. It's just that Guillermo doesn't see it and Nandor does. Just like how he knows Guillermo wasn't ready to become a vampire and how hard he would really take to actually killing people.

In retrospective, season 5 was about things we want not really being the things we thing we want.

They show that guillermo has gained the things he's wanted -- the love and friendship of the vampires and them deeply caring for him, thinking of him as family just in the way he thinks of them as, their respect, and he didn't need to be a vampire to get that. He already has the power he craves deep down.

He doesn't see it. He's not aware of any of it, he's so laser-focused to what he wants that he hasn't figured out how to handle the ugly side of vampirism, he hasn't even thought of it -- because he doesn't see any bad in being a vampire. He's so enticed by the power, the promise of sexiness and transformation and so blissfully ignorant by what he has to do to survive from being on clockwork in doing the dirty work for the vamps.

And precisely because of that hey show that guillermo wasn't ready to be a vampire -- yet. Because how can he be ready when he hasn't even figured himself out yet? When it's painfully obvious what he really wants isnt being a vampire but something he desires on a more emotional needs level?

And the most glaring point of this is how brutal and bloody his transformation was. It wasn't how he imagined or wanted it to be. He just wanted to be a vampire, and right off the bat everything went wrong.

He wanted it to be Nandor. He wanted it to be earned. He wanted it to be poetic, sexy and climactic.

Instead it was miserable and horrifying, the biggest shame to a vampire, and he had to keep it a secret to save his own life and nandor's -- hell, he wasn't even a full vampire, nothing had changed. Nothing had changed. When everything was supposed to change. (Catch the theme?)

And the thing he's happy about? The itty bitty powers he slowly starts to gain. Nothing else about vampirism is doing it for him. The raw meat craving, for one. He even cringes when he's drinking the blood Nandor gives him.

He only really wants the powers. He even goes on a little power trip when he fully turns. He's on a brief high until it comes to feeding.

And then the reality fully sinks in.

Guillermo has to come to terms with having to harm people if he wants to be a vampire. It's not the same as leading people to their deaths, he can't take the moral high ground by making the excuse he's not the one doing the killing or anything, vampires have their victims and he just handles the aftermath. Hypocritical? You bet your ass it is. Guillermo is considerate and horrible at the same time. That's what being complex is about.

Sure, there are ways such as not fully draining and just drinking his fill, but he isn't ready for tackling those topics yet. Vampirism was about becoming a new person for him up until that point, not having to drink blood to survive.

And figuring out that no, if he's given the choice, he wants to stay human has to be more devastating and earth-shattering for him.

Because everything he's worked for in the past 14 years, now, is up in the air for Guillermo. What does this mean for him, when will he go from there, is he still going to be a familiar, can he still stay with the vamps?

What does being a vampire mean to him now that his entire sense of self and future he'd built upon it is gone?

Here's what Yana Groskaya has to say about it:

This is one of the core themes of season 6.

In a sense, they've taken Guillermo's one and only hyperfixation away that was limiting his character. They've opened him up to new explorations.

He has to consider what being a van helsing could mean to him now that he can fully face his real self and there isn't a time limit to brush it under the rug so he can fully focus on becoming a vampire.

He has to face himself, learn about himself, go out more, discover himself better.

This also in a way is a direct parallel to Nandor in Season 3, and it's an interesting thing that it was Nandor who helped Guillermo to realize what he really wanted.

This wasn't "all for nothing" - it was a major beat in Guillermo's arc. To face what he naively and childishly wanted to "fix" himself had to be considered more seriously:

Nandor going "This is what I was waiting for" when Guillermo beat him in their fight in season 3 means SO MUCH MORE in this context.

Guillermo, in his BEST, having all the power, going all in on Nandor, seemed ready, as a slayer, he didn't hesitate to fight, harm, or throw hands, he could handle vampires and vampirism, and Nandor saw him fit. THIS was what he was waiting for. "You are alive because I let you live" and full on proving that statement. That he wasn't afraid to kill. For Guillermo to be ready in his soul, and it was his vampire slayer identity readied him. He had it in him all this time.

But in season 5, he has renounced it. He SAYS he has renounced it to be a vampire.

He has to embrace that part of himself to be truly ready.

Him becoming a vampire at this point in his life was so wrong on so many levels, they showed that Nandor would know when it was the right moment and he would do so right by Guillermo, and showed that really, what you think you want isn't actually what you want/need.

So no, this was bound to happen eventually, and an entire season dedicated to it was amazing in my opinion. Amazing things are coming for Guillermo, please don't be discouraged.

Thank you for reading this far.

I also want to write a Nandermo analysis at one point because I'm more passionate than ever and so excited (i loved what this season did with them), but we shall see!

nhl x f1 fandom survey results

hello there! about two months ago, @andreisvechnikov and i posted a form meant to gather data from fans on tumblr of both f1 and the nhl so we could take a look at demographics, trends, and then subsequently share interesting corresponding insights.

in total, our form received n = 102 responses — honestly not that great of a sample size for stratifying data by teams when considering that there are 32 nhl teams and 10 f1 teams, so a lot of findings come with a large caveat, but hopefully this post will be interesting to you anyway! (of note is also that all of this data was collected before the nhl regular season began, so hopefully we can rerun this experiment sometime next year when the seasons are running concurrently and see how results have changed then.)

unrelated to our survey, @sergeifyodorov also polled hockey fans on their favorite teams a while back; his results will be referenced as well throughout this post! he was extremely kind and generous enough to send over his data so that we could play around with it on our own, so thank you again for that!!! one last time, please note that our results are not easily comparable because of different sample sizes and team/blog reach (for example: the leafs were heavily underrepresented in our data, but i'm pretty sure it's because the form simply never made its way to that corner of hockeyblr and not because leafs fans are statistically less likely to enjoy f1 LOL...)

without further ado:

DEMOGRAPHICS

"Where do you currently live?" + "How old are you?"

out of 102 participants, an overwhelming amount — 85.3% — live in north/central america or europe, and most respondents were also between the ages of 18-25. since the nhl is based in north america and f1 teams are (mostly) based in europe, i was curious to see how fandom trends varied across these two demographics specifically.

EUROPE VS. AMERICA

"Do you consider yourself more of an F1 or hockey fan?"

interestingly enough, 2 in 3 of the european respondents said that they like or follow hockey more, with only 15.15% preferring f1. asian and north/central american fans were a little more evenly split, with 38.9% north/central american fans saying they liked f1 and hockey about the same. however, altogether 89.2% of global respondents said that they prefer hockey OR that they like both sports about the same, so it seems that fans in our survey skew more toward hockey in general.

"Do you follow any top-division hockey leagues outside of North America?"

again, since f1 is primarily based in europe and since europe boasts a huge hockey market outside of the nhl, this question was aimed at understanding interest in other top-division hockey leagues outside of north america. more specifically — not anything like the ahl or ncaa but instead leagues like the shl and liiga.

the majority of the respondents who said they followed top-division hockey outside of north america were, unsurprisingly, based in europe, with over half (54.5%) claiming to follow other leagues and 1 in 4 (24.2%) preferring these to north american hockey.

as for north/central american respondents, a large majority — 85.2% — claimed to not follow any leagues outside of north america. here were the leagues mentioned at least twice:

"Do you follow professional leagues for any of these following sports?"

for this question, we gave several multiple-option choices of obvious sports and also allowed respondents to submit their own answers if we missed any. here were the most-commonly followed professional sports outside of f1 and the nhl, filtered to at least 2 responses:

interestingly, football and baseball were on par at 26.5% — or about 1 in 4 — each, although the most common response was actually none; 37.3% of respondents said they only watch hockey and motorsports for professional sports. the sports that received one vote each were: volleyball, tour de france, swimming, pro wrestling, gymnastics, figure skating, cycling, climbing, and australian rules football.

TEAM POPULARITY

NHL STATS

"What is your favorite NHL team?" + "If you like multiple NHL teams, feel free to name any others below." (<;- capped at 3)

in order to rank each team — despite different voting methodology and sample sizes from both surveys — i normalized a popularity score based on a weighted value, composed of how many people voted for it as their favorite team and then how many people mentioned it in the "other teams i like" question. each team was then graded relative to the top team, in our case dallas and in cody's case pittsburgh.

in the table below, the numbers in purple correspond to our survey and the numbers in grey show cody's results as reference. as you can see, toronto is very underrepresented in our data, while dallas is considerably more popular and tops the chart. 3rd-place vancouver was also our most commonly mentioned "other" team with 19 votes, despite only being 6 people's favorite team.

does this mean that fans of both f1 and hockey are statistically more likely to enjoy dallas than your average hockey fan? or does it just mean that i'm primarily a dallas stars blog and this was the audience i accidentally reached when sharing my survey? (most likely the second) the world may never know!!!

another way of looking at the popularity differences across both surveys is with a little scatter plot. same data, just different presentation!

F1 STATS

"What is your favorite F1 team?" + "If you like multiple F1 teams, feel free to name any others below."

not much that needs to be explained here — mercedes and ferrari were far and away the favorites, but red bull and mclaren were also fairly popular! the least popular team of all was haas, with only one person mentioning it as a team they liked and no one voting for it as their favorite team.

interestingly enough, 1 in 3 (34) of respondents said that they had no favorite team at all, with this response scoring higher than any single team (mercedes only had 21 "favorite" votes, although it had 36 total responses). this was a large contrast to the nhl results, where only 6 people answered none for their favorite hockey team — meaning that 94.11% of respondents claimed a favorite nhl team!

(perhaps this means that f1 fans are less likely to be loyal to a team and instead prefer to follow drivers' individual careers, or that team allegiances are simply stronger in hockey fandom. or maybe not! who knows.)

something else i was curious to see concerning the most popular teams was another location distribution, although this time i didn't want to simply calculate percentages straight-up since we already know that the global distribution skews mainly toward north/central america and europe. because of this, i filtered only teams that had n >= 10 votes and calculated the difference for each percentage from the global average, so i could see which teams were more biased toward a location than "expected."

for f1: ferrari, mclaren, and red bull all had slightly higher american interest than average, with red bull especially skewing lower on the european side.

for hockey: dallas had higher than average interest in oceania, with pittsburgh scoring higher in asia and seattle being especially strong in north/central america (and thus less so in europe). toronto, carolina, and florida also had higher support in europe.

(note again that these are very small sample numbers, especially for teams with less than 20 votes!)

+ just for fun, here's how the top 4 other sports (football, baseball, american football, and basketball) skewed location-wise.

probably not much of a surprise here, although interestingly europeans were more likely than americans to say they only followed motorsport and hockey.

PLAYER / DRIVER POPULARITY

"Who are your favorite NHL players?" + "Who are your favorite F1 drivers?"

when it came to calculating the most popular players, we asked that survey respondents list up to three of their favorite players, then assigned 3 points to the first player, 2 to the second, and 1 to the third. using this weighted count, i ranked drivers and players using a normalized score.

86 unique nhl players were mentioned for this question. out of them, 84.9% (73) are still actively playing in the nhl. the most popular active players were sidney crosby and quinn hughes, while the most popular inactive player was paul kariya, with 2 mentions and a score of 11.76%.

using the same process, 39 unique f1 drivers were mentioned for this question, this time with 95% (19/20) of the current grid being represented — the only driver not mentioned a single time was nico hülkenberg. the remaining 20 drivers were either retired or reserve drivers. lewis hamilton was far and away the most popular driver in this survey, while the most popular inactive driver was 3rd-placed sebastian vettel with a relative score of 61.18%.

here are the top 25 for each sport alongside their corresponding teams:

as you can see, the most-represented team in the nhl top-25 is dallas, with 4 players (robertson, hintz, heiskanen, oettinger) making the cut! other teams to have at least 2 athletes in the top 10 are edmonton for the nhl and alphatauri for f1.

F1 X NHL CROSSOVER

this was the main reason we created this survey in the first place. our burning question was: Which F1 teams do fans of certain NHL teams tend to like — and vice versa?

in order to calculate this, i mapped all the nhl teams each respondent voted for to all the f1 teams they voted for, assigning 1 point to each. so if someone had a favorite team and named three "other" liked teams for each sport, that would be 8 points on the matrix altogether. i then filtered out any nhl team that had less than 20 total tallies for f1 teams and created the chart below:

i also removed "none" votes since i was more interested in the distribution of interest strictly across f1 teams. finally, i filtered out the f1 teams with negligible amounts of votes and created another percentage chart relative to the global average (since we "expect" mercedes and ferrari to be most popular overall):

some summarizing thoughts:

DAL and VAN fans were both less interested in red bull and ferrari and more interested in mclaren and williams

NJD and PHI both voted less for mercedes; the former preferred ferrari and the latter red bull

CAR didn't have huge discrepancies across the board, but skewed a bit toward red bull and williams

COL had the lowest relative interest in mclaren of all teams, while SEA had the highest relative interest in williams

again, these sample sizes were pretty small so maybe it means nothing at all. i'd love to run this survey again with more responses and maybe also restrict the team choices to only 1 favorite + 1 other team per sport in order to really drill down into people's preferences, but hopefully this is interesting anyway!

FANDOM ORIGINS

i always love learning about how people got into a fandom, so we also asked respondents how they got into f1 and hockey, with the following options being provided:

Grew up around it/Family

Hockey or F1 RPF

Introduced by friends (online or IRL)

Discovered individually through fandom content (gifs, YouTube, podcasts, etc.)

Hockey books & romances (Hockey)

Drive to Survive (F1)

Other films, documentaries, etc.

3 respondents clarified that they specifically discovered hockey through reading the webcomic check, please!, but i decided to implicitly include this in the "hockey books" category. a few of the "other" options for hockey also specifically mentioned the olympics.

here was the distribution of responses, noting that the question was multi-option so there is overlap:

i also made a side-by-side bar chart to note differences between f1 and hockey origins. in this case, i paired "hockey books/romances" with "drive to survive," since i see them as the two biggest respective examples of mainstream media movements for each fandom (around social media/rps spaces i should say), the former being mainly based in booktok.

as you can see here, a considerable amount of fans got into f1 through dts (1 in 5). in terms of fanfiction, hockey rpf was a lot more influential in getting people into hockey than f1 rpf was in getting people into f1 (23.7% vs. 11.3%). lastly, hockey was also slightly more common as a childhood/family sport than f1, although only by a few percentage points — 28.9% of fans grew up with hockey and 23.2% grew up with f1.

of course, i couldn't end this question without doing another location analysis, which gave some interesting results:

for f1, the overwhelming majority of european respondents said that they grew up around f1 or were introduced to it by family — 51.5%, or over half (the chart says 44.7% because of multi-option overlap). in contrast, only 24.1% — or 1 in 4 — of north/central americans said this. their results were much more evenly split in general, with drive to survive and fandom content ranking considerably higher.

for hockey, the distribution actually looked quite similar between north/central americans and europeans, although americans ranked a little higher in terms of growing up around the sport. it's pretty much the same though — the main difference is that a good chunk of the "other" votes for the europeans specified getting into hockey through the olympics. altogether, respondents from asia, oceania, and south america mostly discovered hockey through a mixture of rpf and hockey books, although these are very small sample sizes so not fully reflective of overall experiences.

OTHER MOTORSPORTS

"What other motorsports do you follow?"

we were also interested in knowing what other kinds of motorsport people liked.

interestingly, north/central americans had the smallest proportion of f1-exclusive respondents, with 37.7% saying f1 is the only motorsport they follow. here were the series that received at least 10 votes:

indycar was by far the most popular "other" motorsport series, with motogp, nascar, and general feeder formulae (f2, f3, etc.) faring well too. unsurprisingly, you can also tell at a glance that there is overwhelming american interest in indycar and nascar compared to other series!

CONCLUSION

that's about all we've got at the moment. if there's anything else you'd like to see more of, or anything you're confused about/think doesn't make sense, feel free to reply to this post or shoot me an ask :') thank you again for reading and i hope you enjoyed this little post!!! 🥲❤️

Response to a Reddit Post: Is the fanfiction portion of the fandom dying?

I'm currently working on a series of Tumblr posts about my characters, starting with my main, but I realised I had more work on my hands than I thought, so I kind of put that project on pause.

In the meantime, in the interest of keeping my Tumblr account active, I've decided to start sharing some Reddit responses I make to certain topics, since many times they tend to be as big as blog posts in their own right. I'm not gonna go back and repost here everything I've ever written on Reddit, I'm just gonna repost stuff I do from now on cause it's a shame to let all that typing go to waste.

Starting with my response to this Reddit Post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SaintSeiya/comments/13dbofy/is_the_fanfiction_portion_of_the_fandom_dying/ ------------------------------ I can't speak for other fanfiction sites, since I've only as of last Summer been posting outside FF.net, but I would say that while the fanfiction portion of the fandom is not dying, it is definitely going through a bit of a drought. There's just not much to write about right now.

I think that in order to have the kind of thriving fanfiction you're probably picturing with this question, you need a number of things:

-Creative Appeal: the premise (in this case Saint Seiya) needs to be experiencing a surge of widespread media fascination. This doesn't mean commercial success, it means people need to see something in the premise that stimulates their creative interest and that they can easily get other people to care about their writing of it by just appealing to the common interest in the premise;

-Demographic Appeal: fanfiction writing is something that, unfortunately, is still very demographically driven, being considered a hobby of teenagers, minorities and adult women for the most part (in other words, people whose viewpoint is usually absent or misrepresented in mainstream media, encouraging them to seek alternative or amateur storytelling).

-Sexual Emotion Appeal: Fanfiction is also a space for experimental and restricted forms of writing to bloom. People get attached to a property or franchise, notice that it has romantic tension that goes unfulfilled, and write about it to make it happen;

-Experimental Storytelling Appeal: A franchise good for fanfiction writing is one that makes itself open to different types of storytelling. The MCU is great for this because it has made clear to its fans that it has no qualms in mixing Hulk stories with Dr. Strange, time travel and parallel universes.

So in a lot of ways you could say fanfiction-fertile environments are environments with a lot of 'untapped potential', at least from the perspective of the fans.

When you look at the landscape of Saint Seiya, you'll see the last big surge of fanfiction was in the late 2000s and early 2010s, when Lost Canvas was coming out. Whether you like Lost Canvas or not, it is undeniably an ideal manga to spur fanfic sentiment in Saint Seiya, with its cast of well-drawn characters, heavy enphasis on the emotional aspect of the fighting (rather than action) and even its (spoiler alert) reveal at the end that the whole story is largely a timeline construct by the character Mephistopheles Youma, indicating that this universe is open to things like alternate timelines and viewpoints.

This fertility is further enphasized by the fact that a lot of the LC Gold Saints are... kind of selfish assholes. Many of them pop up late in the story when they could have been helping from the beginning, many of them seem to have people in their lives they value more than their duty and many act outright more interested in the battling in and of itself rather than the grander purpose of the Holy War. Sasha is almost a circunstancial element in their lives and that's kind of what makes them more human and liable to have stories written about them.

But classic Saint Seiya is a rather straightforward story, especially after Sanctuary. The characters' drives are very strongly centered around the main conflict and they very rarely allow themselves self-interested moments. We are so starved of characterisation on the Gold Saints that to this day people still ship Mu and Aldebaran together because they had ONE conversation early in Sanctuary Arc about what they thought of Pope Arles.

This all ironically in SPITE of ND, which has a rather colorful bunch of Gold Saints and even time travel, because the very rigidness of the SS format and Kurumada's slow storytelling pace are discouraging any sense that there are real character consequences for what happens each chapter. I mean, how many people have absorbed into themselves that Shiryu is now more or less officially rid of his Shoryuha's heart weakness after his most recent power up in ND?

The big exception is Shun; Shun has a lot of fanfiction written about him, or written with him, or written about characters interested in him (like Ikki or the Specters). You would think that, in the typical fanfiction manner, it's because of his mixed gender role in the series, but I would disagree, because another big fanfic appeal in SS is Hyoga, of all people.

I think Shun and Hyoga appeal to fanfiction writing because of all the characters, these two seem to act like they have a wisdom separate of the main conflict going on in the story. Shun is always the one reminding everyone else that they shouldn't be violent just because they're fighting a war, and Hyoga is always the one talking about having loved ones beyond the Bronze Saints (namely his teachers and his mother) as a consistent part of his characterisation (and not a pretend motivation like Seiya with Seika). Shun is also the one among the Bronzes to have been made a vessel of an enemy God, Hades of all people, which contributes to the sense he has somewhere to go to other than being another Power Ranger in Seiya's team.

There is a direct relationship between characters with selfish dimensions to them and fans wanting to write fanfiction about them.

So if we have Lost Canvas, Shun and Hyoga, why the drought?

As we move further in time away from stories like Lost Canvas, naturally it's relevance diminishes. New generations of Saint Seiya fans are not going to know who the hell Kardia is and they won't care. Instead, they have stories like Omega (which was experimental with Saint Seiya, if anything) and Saintia Sho (an all female story).

While Saintia Sho is great, the problem, fanfiction-wise, is that Chimaki is very upfront about her characters' interests. There's no need for Sho fanfiction of her pairing up with Kyoko because Chimaki does it herself in her own manga, so if you're interested in Sho, you almost could say you are too satisfied. It's potential is already tapped. Sho kind of destroys its own fanfiction potential by embracing its sexual tension. We've basically stopped short of having Shoko and Kyoko kiss in the series.

And Saint Seiya fans are not gonna write Omega stories because it tried to appeal to its most anti-fanfic demographic, male shounen fans, who made it into a hate-meme. So it's a mute point.

This leaves Dark Wing (which is basically a Isekai fanfiction of its own right) and Episode G.

Episode G just sucks for inspiring fanfiction. It's ugly, it has bad photography, it has the emotional tension of a teenage graffiti on the principal's hall and it has pretty dull Holy Wars that exist pretty much as excuses to draw Gold Saints looking mean and shooting shiny beams at weirdos in black armor. I challenge anyone to think of an interesting fanfiction to write about it. You can't. And no one has. In my 13 years of following the fanfic communities, of all the SS spin offs, Episode G has barely, if ever, had stories written about it by fans, much less popular ones. The closest to it has been Jenny DeVic's More than Gold and even she expressed disappointed on Episode G's handling of the Evil Pope Aiolos plot.

This not to mention that the people who DO like Episode G for its stories are the type that will more likely express it by going on Versus Forums and argue with strangers about math, rather than talk about why it's characters resonate with them. Which is rather revealing, if you ask me.

As for Dark Wing, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with it, but in general people don't like writing fanfiction about other people's fanfiction. I also think the fandom's understanding of that manga is the least developed and the story is kind of flying under everyone's radars, so people feel both a lack of supply and demand for stories set in it.

So there's really not a whole lot of reason to get into SS fanfic writing as of 2023 because, well, frankly, it's not that easy as just opening up Microsoft Word or Google Docs and type about how pretty your favorite Silver Saint looks. You need a story to tell, and reactions to look forward to, so unless conditions for high interaction between writers and readers are met, it's not gonna be worth it.

As for classic Saint Seiya, most fanfictions, especially the ones that keep going, have either been SS rewrites or attempts to continue unto the Heaven Arc. This reflects the main demographic of fans feeling unsatisfied with Saint Seiya, in other words its "untapped potential". Rather than being character oriented, the fanfic appeal seems to be plot oriented.

Which is just fucking sad cause no one wants to read someone other than Kurumada finish HIS story. :| Especially when he's still alive and trying to do it.

So are there fewer fanfictions? Well, to reiterate, yes and no. If you pull up official numbers, it's probably the same as always, like people are saying here.

There IS, however, definitely less gems and definitely less interest from the fans in reading them, which creates a feedback loop that makes the landscape feel abandoned or biased against. The only thing that can really fix this is either a change in attitude about what we should expect of amateur fan writing OR another Lost Canvas type manga. And this is both Saint Seiya's responsibility and our own.

why do people on tumble think everything is gay. like every time two characters of the same sex are close yall be like, they're in love they're soul mates. Wishful shipping?

Wow, this a pretty funny first ask to get! Hi!

So.... Couple of things here, I suppose!

First "people on Tumblr" is a funny label to use considering you are literally on here as well, and I'm guessing found my post about the "gay Barbie movie". Just... kind of a lack of awareness here lol

Secondly, I was talking about Barbie and the Diamond Castle, a movie that as a kid literally opened me up to the possibility of me not being straight- grew up in a queer family, btw, but that was the movie that made me go "women??? 👀" so when I am talking about that one I am quite literally talking from personal experience even before I was ever on Tumblr

Thirdly... Why the fuck do you care whether or not I see some relationships in Mattel's kid oriented Barbie movies as straight or gay or... literally anything? Tumblr is kinda all about shouting your thoughts into a void where like minded people are hanging out. If you happen to hear something you don't like, it's legit the easiest thing ever to just block and move on rather than come at someone anonymously in the asks... Unless you are literally just asking, in which case, the answer is already in the question, I suppose: "wishful shipping" for fun, because it doesn't hurt anyone and shouldn't be any of your business or concern you if you disagree with my takes (unless they make you uncomfortable for some reason...)

Assuming you found me and that post through the Barbie tag or something, let me just tell you this: Barbie Roberts would be SO disappointed in you rn. There may not be any canon gay relationships in Barbie as of now (to my current knowledge at least), but with Barbie!vloggerverse being the current long running iteration and front runner, and from how I've seen the way she consistently advocates and gives a safe space to talk for a lot of marginalized communities... Barbie is 100% not someone who would ever tolerate coming to someone's asks and questioning them on an entire site's tendency to talk about queer shit when that site has a very heavy queer demographic in the first place, like... What the fuck?

I also personally don't even like??? Ship exclusively queer ships, which your ask does kinda seem to imply. Scroll just a bit on my blog, or heck, even look at my bio, and you can see I'm very into romance in general. I don't see it anywhere and everywhere, which seems to be a common sentiment when people don't like a ship, and some friendships are just that in my eyes as well: friendships. But some dynamics seem to lean into the romantic vibe more than the platonic one, and that's when shipping happens, regardless of the gender of the characters or whether that'd make it a gay ship or not.

That being said, my takes on the "gay Barbie movies" are not uncommon, here or elsewhere, because whether by accident or otherwise, they tend to be REALLY rife with queer undertones and metaphors, and people notice! Queer color coding, an indifference by the main characters to the "default" opposite gender love interests, popular queer ideals of living (fucking!! Cottagecore girlfriends cohabitating together in the middle of the woods!!!)... Maybe one or two would go unnoticed or ignored, but the movies I've talked about tend to somehow have all of these and more, so... Is it really that big of a surprise when people take notice? There are movies where I ship the Kens and the Barbies, just as there are movies where I ship the Barbies with the Barbies (or Raquels, or Teresas, or any other female Barbie characters) because it all depends on the way things are portrayed! I don't automatically go into a movie thinking "hmm I wonder which gay ship shall I invent out of thin air today!" because, evidently... I'm not the only one to see that at the very least the potential for these things is there!

I think I'm going to go rewatch Barbie in the Diamond Castle now. Because I enjoy it, and I ship the two main characters, and it's a great movie regardless of whether it's gay or not! It is gay though, and you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who disagrees with me on this on Tumblr.com

thoughts on twitter: long ass doomer post

i dislike twitter, i can only use it with a plugin that makes it boring. i think the world would be better without it and social media in general. along with facebook it was used as a tool to interfere with democracy across multiple countries (cambridge analytica), these efforts directly affected my own life greatly.

despite that i think if twitter were to suddenly die, which is looking like a potential outcome now, it would be unpredictable and will cause unnecessary harm in the short term. the parts that sting is the unnatural migration of userbases and the sort of role twitter serves in the current internet (in my experience), the combination of which causes other pain points in a potential death of twitter.

it would be one thing if it were to die out naturally as facebook is right now with its userbase growth waning and the demographic aging over the years and recently and privacy settings in iphones interfering with its income, leading to the bizarre deicision making seen by mark zuckerberg to try and monopolize the vr market, this gradual change allowed the userbase to transfer to instagram(still meta owned), twitter, and tiktok, and was in response to the website not meeting the userbase's needs as well as other sites. but that's not the case with twitter, twitter was thriving, and should be thriving right now, its place in the internet ecosphere was secure for the time being, and the sudden pulling of the rug can means that many people are not given time to naturally move to another site that fits their tastes, and may literally not be able to as twitter specifically gave them what they want.

twitter, in my experience, has a specific place as a social media. it's almost like a middle ground between the major social medias right now. if you were to take 1000 random people in your country right now, i think the most prevalent social media would be twitter, and even if it wasn't people's "main" social media, many people who primarily use other sites such as instagram, tiktok, and tumblr, if they were to have a secondary social media it would be most likely to be twitter. meanwhile i can't think of many tumblr users who would use instagram or tiktok, and vice versa, twitter is a place of commonality between many different sorts of internet communities. certain social media have demographic tendencies, facebook with an aging audience, and tiktok with a younger audience to make a simple example, so twitter suddenly being removed means that this point of commonality between two different demographics is severed, i already think most people are out of touch with children, i think it will be much worse now. i think in the short term the internet will feel more separate, different to how it would work if twitter was naturally replaced by competitors fulfiling their userbase's needs more than twitter does.

both of these affect people's livelihoods, many small businesses need to use social media to help advertise/receive feedback/smooth business communications, some businesses outright wouldn't exist without social media, considering twitter's role in the internet, and the sudden nature of the deletion means that many businesses, and perhaps to help visualise this point, individual self employed persons (think artists), suddenly lost their greatest source of income. you can argue, oh they should have diversified their sources of income so that they aren't too reliant on one service! a great idea on paper, unfortunately in practice many artists and small businesses do try and reach out on multiple social medias, and for many twitter was the one where they could reach their audience the best.

i hear it too often due to my primary use of tumblr, artists who preferred tumblr, but it doesn't pay the bills and they try their luck on other social medias, then they start seeing numbers they haven't seen before on instagram or twitter, or perhaps a few regular customers, a lucky few can live off multiple sources individually, but it's irresponsible to assume most can and it just comes off as talk from middle class business owners who had financial backing from family.

beyond that it's frustrating seeing my friends who started fresh on twitter after the tumblr mature content ban, making friends, finding a community that they feel like themselves in, and able to run more stable business in, now being forcibly ejected against their will. even the tumblr mature content ban was less sudden, was clear cut, and artists were already preparing ahead of time due to questionable moderation. i will not make an instagram, a tiktok, a facebook, twitter felt familiar enough but the rest are alien, there are just many creators that i will never see again if twitter goes down.

i hate that this greedy dragon of a man has caused so much unnecessary suffering. the only good in this is that he faces consequence, but even in his nightmare situation going massively red overall, bankrupting the company, he still walks away with more money than he can ever use in multiple lifetimes, at most it will hurt his pride. had he not shown bottomless greed and feigned the initial purchase of twitter, for stock manipulation purchases, to get MORE money, as the supposed richest man on the planet, he wouldn't have been forced into this purchase in the first place. the severe mismanagement of twitter is another post entirely. i'm just frustrated and tired.

First thing: I'm using a throwaway account because bibros and Jared stans love doxxing people and cyberbully small blogs and even if they only came on my blog whining I don't want to interact with them at all and I don't want to block them because they're entertainment. Second, I'm sending this to you because you seem an expert in fandom dynamics. So according to you why the SPN shippers on Tumblr are politically polarized? I've noticed most of the Destiellers and Misha fans are very progressive, left-leaning or leftist, so much that some misha fans are getting over him because they see him as too moderate. While among Wincesties, bibros and JarPad fans there are some big blogs that are openly conservative, with some strong leaning into alt-right rhetorics, white supremacism, homophobia, anti-feminism, Putin unironic loving, TERF bs, etc Why? Intuitively I'd say a slash shipper isn't anti-gay so they have to be progressive in a way, but Wincesties ship a slash ship too. Besides, a queer or queer-friendly person hasn't to like every slash ship in the world, so it's legit to be queer or queer-friendly and anti-Destiel. Is it only because of Misha? His political exposure attracted liberal and leftist folks and conservative ones went on the other side out of spite? Are there in the "bibro plots" in the show some dog whistles that attract right-wingers? Did it start with one or two alt right big blogs (example: Diane) that attracted other ones? Until the anti-queer Cas rant, JarPad did never look conservative to me so I don't think he attracted alt right stans for his own "merits". I have to say also Jensen has A LOT of white supremacist fans, under his post for BLM (a very bland one) 98% of the comments were whining and screaming All lives matter, but they're dudebros who aren't on Tumblr. I think all actors have this big nerd dudebro fanbase but the ones who are very openly liberal or leftist, so I can kinda explain Jensen's fanbase, but alt right Jared stans tumblers puzzle me. I've never believed in generalizing shippers' personalities and worldviews so I'm kinda surprised. PS Sending a hug to progressive bibros and Jared fans who are exposing the n*zi and alt-right scum.

Are you talking about this Jensen BLM post? (x) I gotta say, I'm not seeing the volume of ALM people inferred in the ask. Even when Misha posted stuff like that, he got a few randos trying to shut celebrities up. Every celeb gets them to some point..

When it comes down to it, SPN was a show Pedowitz loved to brag about having a split demographic of red/blue (though what counted as that wasn't true 50-50, it has to do with TV watching demographics which is a bit trickier). Summarily, more Red voters watched SPN than other non-reality/news shows, which tends to be where Red viewers watch. It also expressed a heavily white, non-urban demographic (that is to say, while it's heavily viewed in cities, it also is unusually high in rural areas.)

This was part of the balancing act Pedo and CW pulled with SPN and why progress was like kicking water uphill.

misha was always openly more progressive, and yes, associated with an authentic queer ship. Not to stereotype, but incest and the like is considered "passable" in predominantly red, conservative areas. Like. That's why there's jokes about Alabama, Mississippi etc. Like it's just known. Incest thrives in conservative areas, for whatever fucked up social reason.

So you take the base of this show trying to appeal to both sides. You add in some weirdos that legit get off on incest and inevitably have red-skewed views. You get others in their lanes accepting them (all ships ok, or swallowing it for access to content, etc) without saying anything, so that anchors, then boom. In comes a non-incest ship that has actual chemistry too and isn't just... IDK. Warping very common fraternal displays of affection for a kink. Some of these people LEGIT ARGUED like "well incest is legal in state, state, and country! So it's OK!" and none of their people went OK WOW YOU ARE LEAVING THE REALM OF FANFIC WTF they just let it slide. And all their other views with it.

Add in Misha's blue lean and yeah, of course, progressives by and large flock that way. In the other lane you have people that SIGNAL as being progressive, like kelios RTing progressive candidates, but then turning around and unwittingly using nothing but a pile of alt right dog whistles in their dialogue--because they've accepted it in their lane in the name of trying to enter a ship war there's no competition in. It's normalized, to the point they don't even perceive it. Progressives in that lane have surrendered their values, their ability to spot gross alt right shit and call it out, in the name of trying to slapfight over a ship.

So no, I don't really feel any pity for them either. They chose that. They could have stepped out, or could have called out, or could have acted for 15 years but they just let it become the norm. And after everyone pointed out the dialogue overlap, and pointed at The Silent Majority and Make Supernatural Great again and they just blamed The Hellers, they don't get to act surprised all this time later about it. Like. It was obvious as fuck guys. Your entire lane is full of maga dialogue, white supremacist undertones, and mountains of queerphobia you let pass by. Nobody outside of their lane is surprised. They had. A million chances. To stop it. And didn't. Because they wanted to pretend they had a foot in a ship war. And that's what was more important to them.

Hello! What are the RO's favorite social media platforms (and why)?

considering i've only partially thought about the specifics of popular social media in oracle (so far all i have is that the main one, scry, is like if you combined the connection aspect of linkedin, the nosy aspect of facebook, the forum aspect of reddit and like, the vapid news aspect of any tabloid) then for this i'll just do what they would like if they used social media in this time and universe

hebe: mainly on art twitter. posts her art on tumblr too but prefers the exposure of twitter. gets into her fair share of arguments over people reposting without credit and blatantly misinterpreting her favourite characters. complains about the toxic people but likes commissioning other artists to support them and deep diving into constructive criticisms. uses facebook solely to share pictures of her brother's dogs or to shade her sister. posts on instagram with windo and MC a lot, has an aesthetic theme

windo: goes on reddit but specifically the redditships/tifu/aita realm, occasionally the nosleep type subreddits. gets sucked in. sometimes posts in them so people can laugh at the stupid things he's done, e.g. TIFU by offering to hang a priceless painting for a friend. decided to improvise when i realised i didn't know what i was doing. gives advice on the relationship posts. knows there's a lot of fake posts but operates on the suspension of disbelief to connect with strangers. also has an instagram w/ a mixture of goofy, friendship and fashion posts, and a work twitter to give commentary on political articles

sailor: a finsta to scroll meme instagrams. they actually laugh out loud at some of the bad jokes they come across. doesn't have tiktok so they can sit on their high horse in disdain for it but has seen millions in the reels tab anyway. never posts or comments, just likes. they send the MC memes but not through dms or anything, literally will get up and show them irl if they find something they think they'd laugh at like a cat bringing you a dead mouse. don't really do public social media profiles because they value their privacy.

jelly: their finsta that they just post bullshit on. they have like 3 followers and all their posts are like a slew of every thought that pops into their head at 2am. their celebrity crushes, things that made them laugh for 5 mins for no reason, their take on soulmates, on fictional characters, nostalgia posts, dog pics, them listening to one direction, 5 selfies in a row of different angles, drunk posts. their public social medias are all very put together and well curated tho. pretty pics and makeup #ads on insta. eloquent linkedin. no facebook

twenty: barely uses any. dislikes seeing too many opinions that he didn't ask for. had a phase where he used to troll scammers (and sometimes just random people to be a menace) on habbo hotel. wouldn't admit it but he likes taking uquizzes. what kind of emo are u. what horror movie trope would u be. what colour would u be. 9/10 he’s not even happy about the results but he just goes :/ and moves onto the next one. has seen like 5 total tiktoks and only knows what a tiktoker is because jelly has explained it

noir: doomscrolls on various sites, mostly twitter and douban. hates these sites with a passion but continues to consume all the depressing content anyway as just one of many shitty habits. had a sadboy tumblr (because OF COURSE HE DID) in his teens that is semi-common knowledge but old enough news that it’s not really something people bring up to tease him about. black and white big gifs with text, angsty textposts, classics like that. pretends to care about his linkedin but god if it’s not the most boring thing ever to him. posts view pics on insta 

honey: honestly probably normal twitter. her dn is just honey and her @ is something generic and she shares her opinions on condiments and mundane things like that. not really interested in discourse or fandom spaces and is not the most up to date in meme culture. she’s busy a lot, so she doesn’t have much time to spend online. watches those calming asmr baking videos on youtube. in her teens i think she would’ve been a fan of acoustic cover channels. had a facebook when she was younger but deactivated it because she never used it

jareth: his secret letterboxd. actually reviews movies impartially and passionately. nobody would ever guess it was him. not a mega popular account, but pretty credible. likes to take advantage of the fact he’s not taken too seriously by certain demographics, so he shares his more comprehensive opinions anonymously. gets genuinely irritated by most troll reviews. some are funny enough to let slide. he had a wattpad once but NOBODY knows nor will they ever know because he would die of embarrassment if that came out. sometimes says annoying shit on twitter but nothing too controversial or topical

ludo: it’s not really a social media but like......ebay. he can scroll ebay for hours whether he’s window shopping or actually wants to buy something. likes to look in the antique section especially. the habit started because he grew up with barely any money and used to curiously browse the kind of obscure stuff rich collectors liked to buy, but by the time he had income of his own (albeit not that much) he’d kind of convinced himself that he understood why people wanted this junk. now it’s like an addiction. he also has a twitter that’s more clued into memes and references but is still pretty mundane. 

monty: her instagram is very well curated. meticulous, even, with selfies, fashion, meals, more ‘relatable’ backstage pictures, etc. it’s definitely a little too perfect but she’s proud of her aesthetic eye, and her public image isn’t fake so much as presented in a way that she gets to keep her personal things to herself. is the kind of celebrity to do instagram lives just to make her fans happy. made a youtube channel due to popular demand but doesn’t really have a clear plan for it, so it’s mostly just q&a where she talks about her favourite characters, funny set anecdotes and her met gala looks. jareth appears on it sometimes to talk about their drama greenwood creek and he suggests meme reviews and things like that

Expanding into my other Fandoms (I’m gonna have to take a stance) Read the whole thing please.

One of my oldest and most beloved anime is Inuyasha. As of late I have been binged watching the hell out of it as I am getting my BFF into different anime shows. We are really close to entering the Yashahime part of the series, and she asked if I planned to write fanfiction involving the one character which made me even watch the show as a 10-year-old.

Sesshomaru

The first episode I ever watched involved this aloof, entitled dog fighting his brother over the sword in their father’s grave. Specifically, it was part 3 of that whole episode series were Kagome pulled out the sword. I at the time had 3 dogs of German Sheppard/wolf hybrid, they were MASSIVE dogs, fell in love with the big white fluff that was Sesshomaru’s demon form. I use to sneak staying up and watch the show faithfully to see the goodest boy as it was only on at 11pm EST on adult swim. Which meant it was bad and I was breaking the rules, I felt like a rebel.

Now I hesitated answering that question. She has no idea of what is in Yashahime, she is being careful not to spoil it so I told her I didn’t know. Recently, to find out what the feel is for Sesshomaru content, I looked into the tag on tumblr…

OH MY GOD.

Sesshomaru’s tag is FLOODED with hate. Like every four post, there is hate, distain, and attacking happening. As someone who watches Yashahime, I quickly knew why.

Sessrin.

Even now I sigh. And I sigh HARD. I am not for, nor am I against the Sessrin train. Same for the Sesskagu train. I think both sides need to look at things on a logical prospective. I plan to do just that. I know I will get hate from the either side and maybe some support as well. But if I am going to do anything in this fandom (as I like doing ships and reader inserts) it will come up.

So, like my Kaiba post, and my Sebastian Heel post, I will use my research skills as well as my COLLEGE DEGREE WHICH HAS BOTH ART AND MEDIEVAL HISTORY labelled on it to explain why this progression in the story is normal to anti-Sessrin fans and why this isn’t a crime by story standards nor should we look at it as a crime.

AS WELL

Explain to Sessrin fans why it is so weird for non-shippers to see it play out and why so much hate formed.

As I let out another sigh, we shall begin. Let’s start at an historical prospective. (Links at the bottom).

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING! I’LL BE ABLE TO TELL!

~~

I will start with the information I can access right away.

While finding charts on the life-span of common folk in 1590’s Feudal Japan is rather difficult, Ancient.edu states that the average lifespan was about 50. To put this in perspective, the average lifespan of Europeans at the time was somewhere between 40-45 with the latter being rare. Since most of us reading are not from Japanese descent, I will through Europe in this first.

If we look at the same time frame of 1590, we are looking at most of Western Europe had now entered the age of Renaissance. According to sources from Learning Resources in association with the National Gallery of Art, marriage was not what TV drama’s from HBO or Hulu depicted. By today standards they would be a crime, as the average age for marriage of an adult female was age 14…

The reasoning behind the young marriage age had multiple factors. First being, females were considered an adult once they were menstruating. Birthing also proved to be fatal, and since the lifespan was at best 40 and 45 if they were lucky, there was really no room to wait. Also Europe at the time had became hugely focused on making sure blood lines were legitimate, meaning to ensure the girl was a virgin, the moment she was able to reproduced she was married off. Those they married were not young teenagers either. Most marriages, a man would be in their thirties, and had probably multiple wives as women died more than men when not counting the battle field.

To make matters worse for the Renaissance Lady, these marriages would leave many young males unable to marry and if their husband died in battle, well, unfortunately they were not seen as desirable. This was due to the idea of a ‘free woman’. Should the girl not have a father, brother or uncle to return to as they too died, a widow had her freedom. But that freedom came at a cost. She would be assumed to have slept around, and in many writings, such as the Canterbury Tales, where Geoffrey Chaucer writes about a Window on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land survived her five husbands and the men in her family. In short, she was made to be a slut and to be looked down upon as no man controlled her.

The point of talking about Europe is because that is something most of us Non-Asian or Japanese people consume and like to paint in large romantic brush strokes of knights and magic. Honestly, reading G.R.R.Martin Song of Ice and Fire, he uses this model as we see the Queen of Dragons, Danny start off at age thirteen shortly after she had her first menstruation.  

Now let’s look at Feudal Japan.

As stated before, the lifespan was around 50 years. In some populations, this was even shorter. Nagaoka, Hirata, Yokota and Matsu’ura’s on demographic data at the Yuigahama-minami area in Kamakura, Japan and found both male and female remains that suggested life expectancy to have ended around age 24-25. This was largely due to living conditions and public health. In areas like these, it would make the most sense to marry and repopulate quickly as the expectancy of life was half the national average at the time.

To my frustration, I could not find a clear marriage age for Japanese women at the time of the edo period. HOWEVER, where there is a will there is a way. I took a look at famous Lords or Daimyo’s of the time. The average age of marriage of their wives was between 12-14. Much younger than I expected, but it made sense considering this is a time where war ran the show and marriage was strictly about political gain. One of these Daimyo’s was Masamune Date, who was also 13, but then as he got older took concubines who became considerably younger than him as he became older. The goal was to have as many children as possible for hires and for political marriages to gain power.

Now lets look at Inuyasha the MANGA

Lets get the manga timeline proper here. The whole adventure took place in 11 months, a month shy of Kagome’s 16th birthday. Doing a few estimations, Rin would have travelled with Sesshomaru about 8-9 of those months. But before we get into the relationship, lets look at something the ANIME made a huge mistake with in the beginning and tried to fix as the story went on.

For some reason I could only fine gifs for the Early appearances of Sesshomaru so bear with me.

Early appearances in the manga

 ^ He was so fickle and a trickster then...

Now early apperances in the anime.

Later appearance in the manga

Laster appearance in the anime

Notice the issue here? 

Sesshomaru was CONSIDERABLY younger looking in the start of the manga. In the anime, he started off looking like an fully adult male. But as the anime went on, they tried to make Sesshomaru look younger with subtle changes to his jaw line, eye size, and his height. Yeah, his height had changed. They made him shorter.

While in the manga, we see this young-teen looking demon, slowly mature over 11 months to look like he is in his later teens and by series end, closer to being in his late teens or twenty. Yes, art changes over time, but the anime went a reverse route. I can only guess they spoke to the author of Inuyasha about her ships, as they did Drama CDs, and realized the mistake that was made in making him more mature than he was.

You can’t tell me he doesn’t look closer to his manga self in the final act, because he does.

Since we are on the topic of the anime, lets be clear. The anime timeline and manga timeline are very different. The story in the anime (in the English) suggests that OVER a year has past since Kagome started her journey. They try to fix this in the final act, but it was still so muddled as previous seasons are to be taken as cannon. This could have been due to an translation error in the early production when the anime no longer had anymore manga material to reference. But whatever the case, for English viewers the time the group spent together felt much longer.

So now we come to the heart of the issue.

Because of the mistakes of the anime, a lot of anti-sessrin see the relationship as father daughter. I’ll be honest, watching the anime and solely the anime as a teenager and as an adult (as the manga was on hold for a very long time due to author’s health. I was in college when it finished.), I too thought it was just a father-daughter relationship and Jaken the nanny who got punched all the time. In fact, the English took hard liberties with Kagura, as the English dubs often do with characters, and made it very clear her feelings for the demon lord and Sesshomaru very much recognized them (though he never responded). Even in her death scene, it felt as if he was saying good bye to a friend more than love interest. But who really knows, as there are things that point otherwise.  When another demon mock’s Kagura’s death, Sesshomaru gets super pissy.

The manga did also play with this fact when it came out in English, idk if the wording or message is different in the Japanese. Translation errors happen a lot even in todays releases, look at Kuroshitsuji.  So of course most anti-sessrin’s did not see this coming in Yashahime when Rin was named mother. In fact it felt like a betrayal as we were sure Sesshomaru had no romantic feelings.

Then there was the Kohaku/Rin mashup that was hinted left and right. The English anime, with its overly dramatic and blunt emotions made it appear one way. That in the end the two kids would probably be married. Then the anime as a whole made Sesshomaru older than intended. I can see why and understand how this became a problem.

On the other side of that coin.

If you followed the dub, seen ‘Swords of an Honorable Ruler’ and read the manga… Sesshomaru was not fatherly to Rin at all. In fact, Jaken picked up all of that leg work. Rin worried for Kohaku, but clearly loved Lord Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru cared about Kagura but he almost CRIED when he lost Rin.

We have to remember that Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship must have been very hard for the demon. While we never see his mental process expect for a few rare times, we have to remember he hated humans. In the movie, he blamed a human for the early death of his father, Sesshomaru killed without mercy. It made sense that he wouldn’t be fatherly to Rin as her just being there should have caused countless inner conflicts. Hell, he even says his father’s weakness was humans, and look who picked up that trait.

Sesshomaru was designed to, someday, walk in his father’s footsteps. So sess/rin, not a surprise. Also when you see it in a historical perspective, Rin having kids around age 15-16, makes sense. In fact you could argue he waited too long for the time period.

We also need to look more at the manga when concerned with Yashahime. 8-9 months is all Rin travelled with him and he was like hold up, and left her at the village because he KNEW she needed to come to her own conclusion. That no matter what she picked he would live with and protect her. Unconditional love on his end. She cannon wise spent YEARS living with humans and MONTHS with Sesshomaru. Again, by manga standards of cannon.

Now I can already hear the screaming about age and what not. Some sources say Sesshomaru is over 900, by the rule of thumb, if we look at anime and movie releases, we have Sesshomaru being over 500 with no define age and Inuyasha around 270 years old being more pinpointed due to the movie. Just by going by ANIME CANNON. Kagome and Inuyasha, you have a 15 year old with a 270 year old man. If you say being pinned to the tree doesn’t count, then you have 220.

Also, here is something very interesting. In the episode where Inuyasha meets the unmother, he tells her, thinking it was his mom, she died when he was very small and we have flash backs later in the series of him being small running from demons. Demons clearly age much slower than humans, even half-demons. Inuyasha can be 270 but mentally and physically be 15, the same logic works for Sesshomaru, who in the manga is not much older than Inuyasha.

In the manga, there wasn’t any grooming, in the anime, there was a ton of mess-ups but no grooming.

Would this fly in todays world? HELL NO! NO, its gross, she’s a kid. Stop.

I know any fanfic I write will lean heavily on the side of father/daughter because that is what I grew up seeing on the screen. I can’t think of Rin as an adult because years of seeing her as a cheerful little girl. It’s like seeing G.O.T Arya about to have sex for the first time in season 8… I remember when she was a kid on the show. It was way to weird and I had to look away until it ended. But that’s my 2021 mentality.

But Inuyasha is not taking place in 2021. Feudal Japan is a whole other era with its own beliefs, morals and way of life. Those who understand this have nothing wrong with them. They just understand history.

Also, just to bang some nails in…

Anyone remember Bleach? Remember the MOST accepted couple was Ichigo and Rukia…. Rukia who was hundreds of years old and Ichigo who was 15… or Ichigo’s mom who was a teenager and his dad also hundreds of years old.

Most of this also boils down to Sesshomaru being a dude. As in reverse roles in animes its accepted and they don’t have the same historical context. Inuyasha is based off of historical context of Feudal Japan.

We need to stop spreading hate. We can’t accept some forms of literature because its European fantasy but bash other fantasy based literature for doing the same thing.

Sure, its weird for those who were use to seeing the father/daughter dynamic. Yes, there are extreme sessrin fans who post really questionable illegal content when they decide to leave Rin as an 8-year-old…

But this wasn’t ever meant to be perverted. The story was meant to make sense on a logical and historical base.

I hope everyone takes the time to read this. I love Inuyasha, I love Sesshomaru. I am just sick of seeing so many people fighting over what should be the revival of a beloved series. While yes, there is still room for sess/rin not being a thing, until it is stated otherwise, why hate each other? This fandom will only lose people by doing this. Calling people names or accusing them of illegal endorsement can hurt someone these days over social media.

Tumblr allows you to block tags. You don’t have to read anything or watch anything you don’t like. We gain nothing from attacking each other but can lose so much by doing so. Fanart, really good fan fiction, friends, ideas, sharing fond memories. Both sides have the right to feel as they feel, but no right in hurting each other.

A fandom is meant to bring people together. Not start a war…

Thank you.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ajpa.20402

http://www.italianrenaissanceresources.com/units/unit-2/essays/husbands-and-wives/#:~:text=Marriage%20not%20only%20reflected%20order,to%20ensure%20the%20bride's%20virginity.

https://www.ancient.eu/Canterbury_Tales/

https://www.ancient.eu/article/1424/daily-life-in-medieval-japan/#:~:text=Just%20as%20Japanese%20people%20today,in%20Western%20Europe%2C%20for%20example.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_Masamune

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megohime

Thoughts on Loki, Gender, Sex, and Identity

So...I've seen a few posts on transphobia embedded in Loki and I wanted to examine my own thoughts on this a bit. I'm not going to dig too deeply, just hit on a few of my thoughts on the matter regarding my own positionality as a demisexual, demiromantic, bisexual, nonbinary, gender funky human.

To begin, my own relationship to sex and gender is complicated, based on my own experiences. I'm fine with people not having this same interpretation because of differences in experience and I'm not going to sit around and listen to anyone bombarding me with statements about how wrong they think I am. Go write a post with relevance to your own experience and please don't shit on mine. The purpose of this is to share my own thoughts on this matter, not to get into an argument. I have enough real-world stress regarding these things and don't need them on Tumblr as well.

I've seen the argument that Loki is gender fluid and it is wrong to say he is sex fluid or that sex fluidity is a way to undercut or deny the validity of gender fluidity. I don't see it this way. To begin, we don't actually see Loki display gender fluidity, even though shape-shifting is clearly within his skill set. MCU Loki shifts into Sif once in The Dark World, but other than that, there is little evidence outside of his word at this. I know those creating this story did refer to him as gender fluid, but I question whether those who stand outside that fluidity might not be as well-versed in how gender fluidity comes in a myriad of experiences. I am fine with the idea that perhaps Loki still uses traditionally male pronouns while in other shapes. I am not considering comic interpretations of Loki in this, as there are so many different storylines that I think they would be hard to sum up into this character. And it is fine if you don't see this the same way.

In myth, when Loki transforms into a maiden during the marriage of "Freya" (Thor in disguise) to Thrym, the book I reference (Neil Gaiman's retellings of the myths) does, at one point, refer to Loki as "he." When the mythological Loki transforms into the mare to lure the horse Svadilfari away from the builder of their wall, the references to the mare indicate "she" (and it is worth noting that in this retelling, the mare is never referred to as Loki by name), but when Loki returns he is referred to using male pronouns yet still as Sleipnir's mother.

In the television show, Loki's file lists his sex as fluid. As gender and sex are entirely separate, I took this into consideration as a part of what defines a Loki- they may change physical sex. I did not see an entry for gender on the file. I may have missed it. But to me, the lack of listing gender and the inclusion instead of sex leads me to believe that the TVA doesn't much care for the gender of a variant, but rather the body in which they are most likely to inhabit. In this case, it would seem that knowing if a Loki is more likely to appear as a physical type without regard to pronouns or gender might be considered more important data than gender identity and pronouns. I examine this as someone who has to handle grant data that requires a sex marker in the demographics- not a gender identity, but an assigned-at-birth or otherwise legally documented sex.

I don't see these two things as mutually exclusive or an erasure of one another. I would see it as a way for the TVA to try to classify a variant without regards to any sort of identity. After all, if Lokis are destined for pruning, who cares how they see themselves? It's not like they are going to have an extended conversation with them- process them, judge them, prune them.

In the context of the Lokis we meet, and the note that they haven't met a female Loki, I do wonder why they haven't met one yet. Is it because they don't catch every Loki that comes through? Is it because they themselves have only ever experienced being Loki as men and and haven't assumed otherwise? I don't know. But I don't see it as impossible to explain, either. How many Loki variants have come through? And how many haven't survived? We don't see every variant in the Void that we see in Mobius' briefing holograms. Who didn't make it, and who is missing? Yes, the comment that she "sounds terrifying" could be read as incredibly sexist, but at the same time...Lokis grew up with stories of the Valkyrie, powerful warrior women who they likely looked at with awe, wondering why these towers of strength were no longer with them. The Valkyrie predate them and are mythic figures- we see how Thor reacts to meeting one of these warriors in Ragnarok. Given that this line comes from Loki the Elder, someone who leans into the power of sorcery and the capabilities of magic, wouldn't it make sense that the combination of these skills would seem terrifying? A warrior of the legendary capabilities of the Valkyrie combined with the might of a Loki sorcery? I mean, I'd probably think the same thing, and I think this is possibly one reason why the variant Loki we come to know would agree with him- she has been jumping through time, surviving apocalypses that likely terrify him, enchanting anyone she needs to use, and she can run circles around him. Given the tonal shift in the delivery of the line "and she needs me," I interpret this as the blustering Loki does when he wants to feel more important than he really is- he's trying to justify why he needs to find her to someone else (and possibly to himself) instead of just saying it's because he cares deeply about her and wants to know what the hell that means. Sylvie can clearly take care of herself and doesn't really need rescue. He wants to feel important enough to go back and to convince the others he is as well. That she could render him irrelevant is something that would be terrifying to someone who craves attention and affirmation.

Mobius says that the most common iterations of Lokis look like the one standing before him, yet Loki does encounter a variant file from California in the early 20th century that refers to Sylvie. So the TVA knows that there is a rare chance that a sex fluid Loki could exist (and they have, presumably, pruned them). While I wish this had been explored further, I don't necessarily see it as a transphobic intent. Did it resonate that way with some people? Yes. And that's fine. Their feelings on the matter are valid.

Another element of my interpretation of this comes from my own experiences of gender expression. Most of the time during which I have been out as nonbinary, people have read my gender as a woman. I like my long dresses and I have an extensive collection of vintage women's clothing. I also have a decent collection of corsets and well-tailored suits that fit my body type. I don't bind my chest. My hair varies from very short to as long as it will grow (not far past my shoulders). I occasionally wear eyeshadow, regardless of what gender I am on any given day. I very rarely read masculine and when I feel neutral, I still don't bother to alter my body shape, only sometimes choosing a bra or bra tank top that decentuates my curves (which, granted, aren't dramatic). So the concept of a gender fluid individual choosing gendered pronouns and reading as male during the (relatively short) time in his lifespan during which the audience knows him doesn't seem odd to me, as it is how I've existed (and I, too, used gendered pronouns for a few years on my nonbinary journey- they were a default while I searched for something that suited me better). But I have known nonbinary people who have exclusively used gendered pronouns and it does not invalidate their gender identity, nor does gendered expressions of that identity. The concept that we would only see a male presenting Loki doesn't seem very odd because I have lived a stretch of my life during which I, too, presented a very femme gender expression and used traditionally female pronouns. But that did not make me less nonbinary.

And, of course, this is assuming that gender fluidity is part of his identity, which we are never told in the text of the story. I reject that everything a creator says must be added to the text of a piece of media simply because the piece also has to stand on its own and be interpreted on that level as well. We do know that Loki shifts sex, which makes sense for someone who shifts bodies, as sex is tied more to bodies than gender is.

The point in this is that we can't assume the gender of a fictional character, just as we can't assume from appearance the gender of a living human. I may read as a woman, but this is not my gender identity and no one should be assuming that my clothes are meant to project gender. Reducing gender to an outward and bodily expression of sex is not something with which I am comfortable, and it seems that some people are conflating the two in their interpretation. Again, your experiences may differ from mine and it's fine to see this in another way.

But here's another very important thing this show can demonstrate. Allow an anecdote. My children watched this show with me. My son is nearly 7, my daughter a few months from being 10. She is very femme- loves makeup, frilly dresses, dolls, princesses, My Little Pony, the whole shebang of activities stereotypically associated with the childhood of girls. At this point in her life, she very much asserts that she is a girl. The same goes for my son- he very much asserts himself as a boy. When we were watching together, we talked about Loki being gender fluid, just like their Mum. We talked about Loki being bisexual, just like their Mum. They understood that just because Loki looks one way, it doesn't mean he is that way...again, just like their Mum. There is power in the idea that some of us are in this same position- we are assumed to be cisgender based on our appearances, but our identities are more complex than that. I thought this was a good window for my children to see through and one I could turn into a teachable moment about all the different sorts of people there are in this world. This is the blessing of imperfect media- we can find ways to learn from it and to share opportunities in it for open interpretation with those around us. And the lesson of not jumping to conclusions about gender or sex based on appearance is a deeply important one for young children to understand.

Is this an area in which I have a problem with the show? No. Does this mean the show couldn't have done more or better? Also no. We do need a variety of types of representation. But seeing the possibilities of this being someone a little more like me (though alas, I can't shift shape)? That was nice.

Hopefully we can see more of this in the future, but if we don't, we can create transformative works to fill in the gaps. It's what fan communities have always done and will continue to do. When I fell into fandom years ago with Harry Potter, long before the movies were all out, so many works were there to add queerness, racial diversity, language diversity, disability representation, all of it, into the series. It didn't stop us from still enjoying what it meant to us in those times and places and I don't think we have to outright reject this show for the imperfections we see in it. It can still thrill us and speak to something in us we've been lacking.

And in my case, that is the affirmation of wearing traditionally gender coded clothes while still asserting my pronouns are ze/zir/zirs and my gender is nonbinary, though also gender fluid, gender optional, or gender funky and that my oft-assumed-to-be-hetero relationship makes me no less bi or any other piece of my complex relationship to sexual orientation (and sharing that affirmation with my kids).

My Take on Snail Mail Etiquette

As anyone who follows this blog has picked up on, I am a very uninvolved blogger who infrequently makes large aesthetic queues and posts their own mail art before logging off and reappearing whenever I have more mail to post. I am going to borrow from the blogging style of my other blog and go ahead and write a bit of a thought piece. The inspiration from this is the most recent in a string of unfortunate experiences while penpaling but it’s not a unique situation or the only one I’m pulling from.

Penpaling Etiquette Penpaling is an extremely old practice and as such there is a certain decorum I believe many people associate with it. Of course, as it’s a practice that’s endured despite changes in technology that means it’s also a practice that’s adapted. Our use of Tumblr to find penpals is a great example of positive adaptations to an antiquated art. Where change can exist simultaneously with stagnation in any practice that naturally creates divisions among the practitioners. I, for one, consider myself to be part of what I consider the Old School way of penpaling and my thoughts on etiquette will be reflective to that style of penships. Though I think much of the etiquette I believe in is universal to all types of penpalers. 

Seeking Out Penships Penpaling is undeniably an intimate thing by the nature of it being centered around building a relationship with another person. Even with all the art on our envelopes, on our letters, or even sent with our letters; at the end of day we’re seeking out a connection with the person we’re writing to.  Keeping that in mind, there is a right way to seek out penships and there is a wrong way. For me, the right way is to approach the person you’re seeking to write the way you’d look to make a friend back in grade school: introduce yourself, include a little info about yourself, and politely ask if the person is accepting new penpals. I always feel that can be done in any order, but for me a red flag has always been people who without divulging anything about them or inquiring anything about me ask to be my penpal. Or worse yet, tell me they want to be my penpal. I read a certain entitlement into people who do not ask.  I’ll admit sometimes I’m imperfect in my responses to people looking, I’ll forget to give them my spiel because I’ve assumed they’ve read it somewhere and that’s why they’ve contacted me. People are imperfect and as the person seeking out new penpals or accepting new penpals it’s important to give as much grace as possible. So long as people are communicating with sincere interest little flaws in forgetting usual etiquette can and should be forgiven. Age Appropriate Penships In any practice that is welcoming to all ages it’s important to set up and maintain appropriate age boundaries. This is simple in penpaling, do not write to anyone under the age of 18 if you are a legal adult. If you are a minor, do not seek out or accept penpals over the age of 18. Minor to legal adult correspondence has an extreme imbalance in the power dynamic. Often adults who will seek out minors to write to are doing so because they’re seeking to manipulate the minor. Minors who are accepting of adult penpals are unwittingly engaging in penships that can have undue influence on them .  Even within the 18+ sticking to themselves age rule there can be age gaps between penpals that aren’t in the best interest of the younger party. An 18 year old writing to a 40 year old could be subjected to the same predatory penship as a 13 year old trying to write a 20 year old. There’s also a non-predatory reason why age gaps for adult penships don’t work. Quite simply, a 20 year old and a 25 year old are often at drastically different points in their life and that can make it hard to find common ground.  With the 17 and below age rule, again it’s imperfect and there can still be inappropriate age gaps. A 12 year old and a 17 year old shouldn’t be writing to one another for the same reasons that them hanging out in person or even dating would be problematic.  A good rule of thumb for minors: Keep it within a 2 year age gap.  A good rule of thumb for adults 18-22: Keep it within a 3 year age gap. A good rule of thumb for adults 23-30: Keep it within a 5 year age gap.  For adults these are what I’ve discovered to be “easy” to connect over age gaps, but obviously it’s up to the individual’s discretion as to what is a compatible.  Disclosing Mental Health I mention this only because I’ve come across it, so what’s the “right move” in disclosing mental health struggles you may have?  If it’s something that changes the way you socialize or requires you take extra precautions in who you socialize with/how you socialize (i.e. needing to share triggers) then it’s certainly worth including in your bio when reaching out to penpals.  Otherwise, just be wary of oversharing. If you have something you’d like to be upfront with because you feel it’s a deeply ingrained part of what makes you “you” it’s definitely fine to share that! Just remember that while the goal of penships is relationship building, from the start people are still strangers. Sharing the traumatic depths of your struggles extremely early in a penship can be overwhelming for your penpal. It also can cross into territory of unintentional emotional manipulation and cause a penpal who otherwise finds themselves incompatible to feel compelled to keep writing you because they fear for your well-being.  Remember, mental health is personal! That’s doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it (I talk to plenty of penpals about mental health!) but just remember it’s not something strangers have earned the right to know about you!  Respecting Boundaries When establishing a penship it’s important to create and respect boundaries. Some such boundaries that people have revolve around who they are comfortable writing too. Personally, I do not write to men.It’s a preference built off bad experiences with a few people who aren’t reflective of the whole--- but to look out for me I choose not write men. Should you seek out a penship and learn you fall into some demographic the person chooses not to write to, simply accept that respectfully and move on. In my situation, I have had people argue with me about my choice not to write them because they’re men. This will not endear the person to you and cause them to change their mind. People have reasons for restricting who them write to.  Aside from who people are willing to write to, another common boundary is in regards to communication outside of letters. Personally, as someone who belongs to the Old School style of penpaling I do not want to receive messages on social media outside of initial agreements to write one another. For me and others like me, much of the allure of penpaling comes from distance from my “real life”. Communicating solely through letters gives me material for my letters (I am a diary-style writer) and frankly gives me the space to connect with person’s true personality versus being biased by a social media presence. Be clear with the people you’re seeking a penship with whether or not you’re open to developing a friendship over social media as well or if you prefer not to.  Again, personally I prefer only receiving initial informational exchanges, updates on addresses, check-ins if it’s been a while since one of us has sent mail, or an occasional birthday/holiday message. For extremely longtime penpals I make exceptions.  Social media is another boundary. Unless someone invites you to add them on social media, please do not do this. Yes, you have the name of the person off their address and can technically “easily” discover their social media but that person is trusting in you to respect their privacy. If you want to share your social media that’s wonderful! Just recognize that your penpal may not want to and will not want their privacy invaded.  Patience Above all in penpaling you need to be patient.Postal services aren’t perfect whether it’s sending mail on the national or international level. Generally they’re reliable and predictable, but sometimes things go awry. Personally, nothing bothers me more than someone who sends daily or near daily messages inquiring after the arrival of their letter. While it generally can take 3-5 days for mail to travel in the US (where I am) this isn’t exact.  If you’re concerned your penpal hasn’t gotten your mail, it’s appropriate to ask them if it’s arrived and if it has not then ask that they update you when it has (assuming you’re concerned it’s lost). Do not message daily or multiple times in a week. If your penpal doesn’t get back to you within 2 weeks of your initial message, it’s fair game to message them once more in order to determine the likelihood the mail has been lost. Often people forget to update one another in the Old School community of penpals--- just by nature of being a little bit of penpaling Luddites. Another reason patience is absolutely necessary in this practice has to do with the rate of letter writing. Penpaling can be a time intensive process that take creative and emotional currency to partake in. As a result, many people do not write a response immediately upon receiving mail. Life and stress often get in the way of penaling. Or even when we have ample time, for those of us who are diary-style writers sometimes we feel there’s not enough going on with us to warrant writing a letter. If you feel you really cannot wait indefinitely for mail then that’s something that needs to be disclosed when you begin penships. There are people who can commit to consistent writing schedules and those that cannot.  Ultimately with penpaling, just remember that there’s another person who is sending and receiving mail. It’s not you and a robot. It’s living, breathing person who should be treated with the respect that they deserve.

Patriarchy and Pop Punk

Written by Theresa Cambe. Graphic by James N Grey

Yes, misogyny exists in almost every genre of music. Rap and country are usually at the forefront of this conversation, however, today we’re going to dive into the misogyny in pop punk. Lets face it, the misogyny is just covered up with layers of nice-guy, sad boy introspection but deserves the criticism just like everyone else. Just because a man holding a guitar gets vulnerable for a second, it doesn’t mean he is exempt from possessing misogynistic tendencies.

Despite the sexism built into this genre, I am more than guilty of partaking in my fair share of pop punk music. I would try to be at every State Champs, Neck Deep, Real Friends, The Story So Far, and every band of the sorts in between, concerts in Southern California between the ages of 14-16. I finger pointed and yelled those angsty lyrics right back at the bands while crowd surfing towards the stage in whatever sweaty venue in LA they happened to be playing at the time. I bought the merch, I hung their posters up in my room, I reblogged their concert pictures on Tumblr, I was about it. And trust me, “No Good” by Knuckle Puck could come on shuffle again and have me passionately screaming the lyrics while driving alone in my car around my god forsaken hometown (but I love my hometown, contrary to the popular sentiment). However now, I am more conscious of its problems.

I think this is the case for many other non-male enjoyers of this music when they also recognize its misogyny. Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying pop punk nor do I think enjoying this music makes you a bad person or inherently anti-feminist. A good portion of the demographic for these bands are women. With this large and important part of the fan base, we should start considering the safety of the environments and attitudes they create.

The attitude of misogyny and objectification is built into the foundation of pop punk. It is apparent in whichever “wave” of pop punk you want to point to. Early Blink 182 and All Time Low music videos had women in them to be silent sexual objects parading around the rock star band. There’s Weezer’s infamous sexist, nerd-rock anthems. “Thank God for Girls” sings “Called upon to employ your testosterone / In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV”. In a Genius lyric annotation of the song, lead singer of the band, Rivers Cuomo himself wrote “I’m so jealous of the hooker-uppers. Seems like it’s so easy to get laid now. All these good looking athletic guys are getting so much free sex. It kills me. Such a bummer. Such a bummer. To be evaluated by women. To be graded. To be rated. Where do I stand? How big? How strong? How enduring? How energetic? How inventive? So sad that it comes to this. So sad. It IS a competition and I AM being compared”. It is really quite ironic that Cuomo writes this but in the same breath has lyrics “The thing I finally found with these other girls in town / She got hot, and they did not” from the song “The Girl Got Hot” and also “You come like a dog when I ring your bell / I got the money and I got the fame / You got the hots to ride on my plane” from the song “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”. Then there’s also every song on the album Pinkerton that we don’t have time to get into. Even if this self-deprecating behavior is no surprise from Cuomo, it’s concerning and rooted in some serious hate. If you want to argue that it's all satire, they’re still weird thoughts to have.

I can go on about these recurring lyrical themes. For example, there is The Story So Far’s song “Roam” with the lyrics “I know where you’ve been, you’re ruining men, never again will I let someone in”. And the classic from “Mt Diablo” that sings “Do you look at yourself straight in the eyes and think about who you let between your thighs?”. Then there’s FIDLAR’s song “Whore” which as we can expect from the title, says “Why did you go betray me? / You’re such a whore”. Then there’s the mess of “Me vs. Maradona vs. Elvis'' by the band Brand New, which writes “I got desperate desires and unadmirable plans / My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent / Bring you back to the bar / Get you out of the cold / My sober straight face gets you out of your clothes.” Look into any corner of pop punk and you’ll find these questionable attitudes, but I digress.

These men play the nice guys and aim at making you believe he is the protagonist in every situation. The commonality between all these artists is that they obsess and fantasize over a girl then turn completely sour once rejects them or leaves a relationship. They want a “cool girl” to listen to underground music and really comfort their sad, misunderstood selves but won’t allow them to make a decision outside of his own benefit. Because god forbid these women have their own thoughts and exercise their own actions! Their fantasy is essentially a manic pixie dream girl that doesn’t speak or act out against anything. These men beg to be at the center, and get aggressive when they aren’t.

This is not to be confused with writing a sad song after you got broken up with or hurt by someone in a relationship. This is also not to say that all women are exempt from having toxic behaviors or from being written about. The guise of the patriarchy also harms those it seeks to benefit and therefore enforces rules of masculinity that restricts men from expressing their frustrations and emotions. I believe that writing music about unrequited love or difficult feelings is a healthy way to combat these roles. However, there is a major difference between processing rejection and hating women for rejecting you, which is an area many of these men seem to blur together.

I still have love for these bands and this genre. I can still go to their shows and have the time of my life, easily. But it wasn’t until I got a little older and more realized with my femininity did I revisit these songs and wake up to the fact that it might have not always been in my favor . I was probably too young to notice or care and was distracted by the catchy, yelly tone and how fun it was to jump around to that I never really sat with what some of the lyrics really meant. It was a major factor in my own internalized misogyny back when I was in the throes of it all. I didn’t want to be like those awful girls that these pop punk dudes kept singing about. They were always described in such a terrible way, that all they do is betray and backstab people. They wanted a “cool girl” to understand them and not be like them. So I rejected femininity and disliked other girls as if I’m in this sort of competition for the sad band dude’s attention. I was idolizing these men whose music mainly centered around their disdain for the women they had experiences with so much that it stuck in my brain that I shouldn’t be like them, that I should be appeasing these people I look up to. But I’ve grown to realize that I was only hearing one side of the story. It was a straight white man’s voice constantly, no one else. This one sided narrative created a false perception of reality, one rooted in a sad boy victim complex, that women are the enemy that shouldn’t be trusted because they couldn’t fit the weird male fantasy these dudes possess. Rarely are women represented in this music except through the lens of a man, which as we saw is almost always disdainful or as a character rather than a fully realized and autonomous person. Women are portrayed as commodities to obtain. It alters our perception of reality.

But with most things you love, you want to see them get better. This music has a fond place in my heart and signifies a really fun time in my life where I found my love for music and concerts. But the genre and the spaces it creates has its own set of problems that I want to see improve.

We have to realize that music has a greater impact on culture. The attitudes that create the genre of pop punk affects the audience that consumes it. The one-sided narrative they build implants harmful ideas about relationships and dynamics into their young fans, as it did to me. Regardless if you want to say lyrics are just lyrics and are meant not to be taken so seriously, artists have so much influence on their fans. They are perpetuating the nice guy narrative that men are owed something from women. And sometimes we unfortunately see this point of view reflected in these band member’s actions. The accusations against them for sexual assault, grooming, and manipulation of young girls runs rampant in these spaces and remains to do so. They abuse their positions of power and influence. Using self-pity in songs does not excuse the shitty things you do.

((that ask about fanfiction just made me wonder what would happen if someone wrote in-universe rpf about these guys. not curious enough to make a blog and write it but curious enough to imagine the like 400k deep character arc of alastor getting a cellphone and voluntarily logging into voxblr.))

((Oh believe me, every time someone tries to allude to the idea of someone making fanart/fanfic about Alastor to Alastor on this blog, I’ve gotta sit here and think about where to draw the limit between “sure that hypothetically makes sense given that RPF fanfic exists” and “nah you’re leaning too hard on the fourth wall”))

((The thing about RPF is that it’s never going to be based on what a person is actually like. It’s all always going to be about some constructed fictionalized character invented out of what a fan hopes that celebrity is going to be like, based off of what little bit of their personality and interior life they willingly share in interviews, social media, etc. Imagine the versions of yourself that you construct for mainstream public consumption—the version of yourself you wear at work to face customers, or the version of yourself you wear when you’re talking in class to teachers/professors, or the version of yourself that you put on Facebook where your extended family is watching—and ask how accurate that public-facing version of yourself is re: expressing your entire history, your interior life, your likes and interests and secret thoughts and feelings. You know, the stuff that a writer would need to know to fully write a fictional character. And when a fanfic writer doesn’t get that stuff from canon, they make up interesting headcanons. Your public-facing self is the “canon” that a hypothetical fanfic writer would be basing their headcanons off of. How much are they gonna get right?))

((And that’s the issue at the root of a vast majority of “characters discover RPF about themselves in-universe” concepts that I’ve run into in the past. For characters running into RPF of themselves to be true to a hypothetical real world experience of a celebrity running into RPF of themself, that character’s RPF has to be just... wildly fucking wrong. And I don’t just mean “humorous over-exaggerations of their real personality traits,” I mean WRONG personalities. I mean “I don’t know this guy’s background so I made up his entire childhood and INVENTED a tragic backstory for him.” I mean “I decided his five top hobbies, the three languages he speaks, and that he’s got a secret child somewhere.” You can easily invent a childhood for a character that doesn’t have one, but a real person always has a real childhood, whether you know anything about it or not.))

((As real fans of fictional characters, we’re privy to far more of a character’s private life than the fictional fans who know these characters as public figures, because we get to see the fictional media that produces these characters. And, more than that, as real fans who are writing both the fanfics about the characters AND the hypothetical in-universe RPF about these characters, the versions of the characters that exists in one writer’s head are going to be the versions of the character that inform both the fanfic and the RPF inside the fanfic. And so there’s going to be an inclination to make the in-universe RPF more IC than it would realistically be if you don’t stop and go “actually, whoever’s writing this wouldn’t know a goddamn thing about what this person is like.”))

((Plus, the way it’s written would be different. Generally, people don’t play with celebrities in RPF the same way they play with characters in fiction-based fanfic. There’s an even greater focus on shipping, primarily either “I want these bandmates/co-stars to be gay together” or else self-shipping/reader-insert content. You’re gonna get a lot less, like, character study sort of fic. A much greater portion of the fanworks are, like... celebrity crush daydreams in written form. Which, yeah, makes up a lot of fan works for fictional characters—but not to as high an extent. You don’t need to write a whole fic sharing your headcanon childhood for a real living person who HAS a childhood you just don’t know, you just sort of need to know that headcanon childhood for the daydream you’re writing that person into.))

((And finally—you’ve got to consider who gets RPF written about them. IRL, it’s almost exclusively entertainers. Movie stars, pop bands, etc.—and what’s more than that, entertainers that appeal to the portion of the population that writes fanfic (typically female) and the portion of the population less likely to go “it’s really weird to write about actual real life people like they’re characters I can just play around with” (typically younger)—so, entertainers in teen-oriented boy bands or actors in movies/shows that appeal to a large, feminine, young fanbase. Hazbin’s main cast contains two entertainers: Angel Dust and Alastor. Gay adult film star Angel Dust definitely appeals to a queer audience but is probably not drawing a young, female fanbase. Sure, out here in the real world he’s got a lot of young female fans—but how many 15-to-22-year-old fangirls do you know who have a passionate interest in specific IRL gay adult film stars? So Angel’s got a big fanbase but it’s probably not much of a fic-writing fanbase. Alastor is, more than anything, a former entertainer; and although he’s got female admirers, they seem to be restricted to the “stuck in the 1910s” part of town and thus probably not getting online to write fanfic. Plus those admirers seem to be people who know him personally, and usually the RPF that gets shared in public is written about celebrity strangers, not one’s own acquaintances. And those are the only two in the main cast that even come close to appealing to the usual RPF demographics.))

((And more importantly than the entertainer thing: Alastor is a figure of fear. Alastor is nearly-universally reviled. Out here in the real world Alastor is the perfect figure to draw a large loving fanbase because he is the perfect embodiment of the Tumblr Sexyman trope. But inside the Hazbin universe? In Hell? He’s basically equivalent to a mass shooter who gunned down hundreds of people and then was allowed to walk free because the cops were too scared to try to arrest him. His claim to fame is mass carnage. The one thing everyone knows him for is hurting as many people as possible. Doesn’t quite have the same broad popular appeal as a boy band that sings cute pop songs, does he?))

((Yeah, there are some folks out there that treat true crime like a fandom, write love letters to serial killers, etc.—but that’s a LOT more fringe than the majority of the people churning out RPF fiction. You don’t see common fanfic tags stuffed with mass shooter reader-insert fic the way you see them stuffed with k-pop reader-insert fic.))

((tl;dr: is somebody somewhere in Hell writing RPF about Alastor? Yeah, probably somewhere? He would be well-known enough that it would be weird if absolutely nobody anywhere with a taste for RPF happened to have a penchant for him. But the numbers are so low that it would be really weird for the phenomenon to get big enough that somebody would come TELL Alastor that he’s getting fanfic written about him; and what those fics look like would probably be so OOC & incorrect they’re barely even recognizable as Alastor because the fictional writers writing them wouldn’t have the out-of-universe insight into Alastor’s personality that we real world fans have.))

((Which is why even with “what about RPF?” if someone comes at this blog going “hey Alastor people are writing fanfic about you” my reaction is generally just to go “nah, you’re leaning on the 4th wall, we’re not doing that.” Because I don’t expect the average anon to put THIS MUCH THOUGHT into who would realistically be writing RPF about Alastor, how common it would really be, and what it would probably look like, and I don’t want to try to course-correct a bunch of anons acting like Alastor’s hypothetical fictional fanbase in Hell looks the same and writes the same as his real world fanbase.))

Prompts for US Election Season Safety-Planning & Engagement

I’ve got some folks in my DMs getting salty after my earlier response to a US election-based post, so here we are, tired and angry.

What is a safety-plan?

A personalized, practical plan to improve your safety. I list some basics here, but everyone has different needs as an individual - it’s okay if this isn’t as useful to you as it might be for someone else. Cherry-pick what’s useful and discard the rest.

Emotional Safety

Consider the safe coping skills you already use when you’re feeling activated, triggered, or panicking. If those techniques use external tools, like a weighted blanket, get those tools out and have them on hand.

Reach out to people you trust with specific actions they can do to support you, as appropriate.

Consider limiting your social media engagement for a day, a few days, a week - however long you need.

If you still want to know about important updates, ask someone you trust to provide those upon your request.

Reach out to people you trust who share your specific worries, especially around a shared identity. This can help us feel less isolated. For example, my girlfriend and I will be texting each other cute animals because we are very gay and very tired.

Draw firm boundaries with people (especially conservative relatives) as needed who may want more of your time or labor than you have capacity for. If you’re not sure how to do that safely, you can call a domestic violence hotline and ask the advocate to help you find/practice language to use; this is something we regularly do with callers.

Physical Safety

We’re already seeing violence against individuals and groups of people who visibly belong (or appear to visibly belong) to politically vulnerable communities at polls or street shutdowns initiated by Trump trains.

Stock up on food, medications, and other supplies as much as you can to limit the number of times you’ll need to leave the house.

Try to avoid going out alone. Can an adult in your household/quarantine pod go with you?

Consider checking out phone apps that will automatically text/call someone you trust if you miss a check-in window (often used by femmes going out on a new date or to a club).

Be prepared for road closures by hostile Trump supporters. Unless you have the skills/resources for it, don’t initiate engagement! Find another route, if possible.

Know your legal rights in case law enforcement starts shit. Check out some street protester tips on how to navigate getting arrested, such as having important phone numbers written in permanent marker on your body somewhere. As most politically vulnerable folks know, you don’t have to be breaking any kind of law to get stopped; you can, quite literally, be peacefully in line at the polls and get pepper-sprayed by cops anyway.

Dealing with Feeling Helpless

Start by taking honest stock of yourself about your needs in the current moment. You put the oxygen mask on your face first, after all.

Second? Don’t judge yourself for having those needs. It’s hard, but I promise you that almost everyone is feeling “weak,” depressed, angry, anxious, and sometimes all of that at once. Stay present-focused: “This is a need I’m having. What is available to me to get that need met as safely as possible?”

Look for other people doing the same kind of you’re doing - or the kind of work you want to do. Collective effort shares the burden.

Remember that your people have survived generations of violence. We will continue to do so.

Understand that election-related stress will last for at least a few months.

There’s likely to be an escalation in violence no matter which way the presidential election goes, and either way, the next inauguration isn’t until January 2021. You need to be prepared for the long haul.

When you feel ready to reengage:

Recognize that voting is the least thing that a person can do. With work aimed at systemic, intergenerational violence, we need all hands engaged in a variety of ways for the long-term.

Stop going after activists of color who choose not to vote. If you don’t have personal lived experience relevant to their reasoning, leave them alone.

Be creative in adapting skills, interests, and networks you already have. Everyone has something to offer! Although aimed in part at pagans, this article gives some ideas and points to consider for everyone.

If anyone tells you that you don’t have anything to offer in social justice efforts, they’re an asshole. (And probably a bigot, and it’s probably ableist. Fuck those people.) When we say all hands on deck, we mean all, regardless of the lived experiences attached to those hands.

Do you have emotional or physical safety concerns that aren’t mentioned here?

Ask someone you trust to help you brainstorm. What are the concrete worries you have, emotionally or physically? How can you address, eliminate, mitigate, or cope with those worries in whatever creative, safe ways you can? Make an actual list if that helps.

Consider contacting a domestic violence hotline. We’re trained to safety-plan with people who are in the kind of danger that doesn’t usually go away quickly and who have limited access to resources (although if an unhealthy partner or relative isn’t part of your concern, it’s possible the advocate may try referring you elsewhere).

Warm lines are a cool alternative to hotlines. Lots of local and national ones exist for different purposes.

Check out some leftist blogs: they tend to regularly post content about safety related to different scenarios, much of which is also tailored to the needs of specific demographics (being trans, Black, Jewish, disabled, etc). One solid resource on tumblr is @antifainternational​.

Check out blogs written by and for a particular demographic, even if you’re not part of that demographic. Writers, bloggers, and activists in these communities tend to have common lived experience of systemic violence and there is a lot of amazing, pragmatic content out there for coping under oppression.

Got questions? I’m happy to answer whatever I can via ask or DM, even if it’s to direct you to a resource more helpful than I.

935.

Do you think vegans/vegetarians look down on people who choose to eat animal products? >> I think the whole schism between vegans and non-vegans is utterly fucked. At this point I’m terribly annoyed at both camps and I want everyone to shut up about their feelings of self-righteousness  regarding what sorts of vittles they put into their bodies, and their feelings of contempt towards everyone who doesn’t put the same arrangement of vittles into their bodies. Because we live in a capitalist hellscape, most of us (I’d say all, but of course I can’t be entirely sure about that, although I suspect it) are consuming things that someone -- animal or human -- had to suffer to put onto our table. Some of us are trying our best to minimise that suffering in whatever ways we can (although, let’s be real here -- until corporations and the government start taking real responsibility for their actions, our efforts are gonna be like trying to sweep a porch during a dust storm). Ultimately, that’s what fucking matters -- the effort, the will to change, to consider one’s actions as part of a greater whole. But arguing with each other about exactly what nature of effort is most virtuous, or whatever, is pointless and damaging. Learn to find the common ground in your efforts, learn who the real enemies are, and fucking get it together before the world fucking implodes.

Do your friendships tend to last a long time or are they short-lived? >> My what?

Create an acrostic poem that describes you using your first name. >> ---

Are you a fan of plug in air fresheners? >> I’m not. I don’t like the smell of air fresheners, I’d rather just burn incense or open a window.

Name the best and worst things about your current or most recent relationship. >> ---

What, if anything, do survey takers seem to have in common? >> The fact that we all take surveys. Otherwise, the way I see it, we’re all pretty varied in our demographics and experiences. (Sure wish some survey makers would see it that way.)

Do you like mad libs? >> I haven’t done a Mad Lib since I was a child, I don’t know if I like them now.

How are you? >> Oh, you know. If someone broke into your house while you were sleeping, what would your course of action be? >> I don’t know. I’ve considered the options and none of them seem particularly viable for me. I guess I’d just wing it. Do you think websites like Tumblr romanticize sadness? >> Let’s break this question down. You say “websites like Tumblr”, but what does that mean? There are millions of people who use this website, and if you poke around for a while you start to notice that many of them stick to a certain kind of loose network -- fandoms, “aesthetic” bloggers, academic bloggers (studyblr, langblr, etc), activism and social justice, survey takers, and so on. Many others kind of just float around posting and reblogging whatever strikes their fancy, or whatever expresses who they are at the time. So, out of all these varied people, who, exactly, is supposed to be romanticising sadness? Now, next bit -- what does “romanticising sadness” even mean? There are a lot of people who post sad things -- because they’re sad. Because they’re looking for solidarity. Because they can’t express those feelings to the people they know in person, but they don’t want to suppress those feelings either. There are probably people who kind of glom onto that and encourage more “negative” sort of content, but frankly, I haven’t met any so I can’t say anything about that. And even if those are the people you’re talking about, that’s still only a minority of people and is easily drowned out by, oh, the entire rest of the userbase. In conclusion, no, “websites like tumblr” do not “romanticise sadness”, because that question doesn’t even make sense. Do you think athletes and celebrities deserve to be paid as much as they are? >> It’s not that they don’t “deserve” it, that doesn’t mean anything. The fact of the matter is that wealth inequality is egregious in this country, and no one should be paid such exorbitant sums (just like no one should be paid such low wages as just about everyone I know).

What part of your body are you most insecure about? >> I don’t want to talk about this. What’s one food you would be surprised to hear that someone doesn’t like? >> None. It doesn’t surprise me when people don’t like things. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? >> What average? Are you comfortable discussing bodily functions with your friends? >> I just don’t see why I would want to discuss bodily functions with anyone, unless there’s a specific reason for it like I’m trying to figure out if a certain thing is normal or not, or if someone else has had an experience with a certain thing and can advise me about it. Even then, like... I can (and usually do) Google it.

I’m impressed.

Lethal Weapon’s boycotting kidlets really stuck to their guns. Within the respective Fox Bubble, it’s been a horrific failure. Their female demographic is in shambles and I’m actually side-eyeing their digital hoorah and wondering if that’s the source, but I’m not plugged in enough to know. 

It’s been a while since I’ve heavily fixated on ratings outside of the CW because fandoms within the CW have had their heads screwed on so ass-backwards about the CW bubble and ratings in general it’s been a full time job, but the last few years of decline in ratings abroad haven’t failed to horrify impress.

Please note since tumblr doesn’t date posts, this is numbers as of 5/5/19 with targets based earlier in the year for the 2017-2018 season, end of Fall through Spring season, the cusp of summer season starting.

For example, NBC’s Target is currently around a 0.68 this year, but they still took ages to consider on Champions, that settled at a 0.4 last year. Target is general goal level, not necessarily cancel time, but tipping below puts you at into bubble edge territory and eventually, you’ve popped your bubble, depending on the lean.

I already knew WB-CW products are around 0.23 and CBS-CW are around 0.19 as their target. What’s slipped my notice is only CBS Comedy and NBC drama have their general target zone at the 0.7x range. Fox is the outlier at 0.84/0.87. That’s pretty freakin horrifying. 

Like that’s considered average performance on the Big 4 right now. Hell, Abby’s on NBC is pulling about a 0.4x average and some people are thinking if they hold onto it, with as long as NBC deliberated over Champion’s 0.4 last year, they could actually be an underdog for renewal since the bar has already dropped since then.

On a big 4 network.

YIKES, DAWG.

To put this into scale, in the previous season (2017-2018 season, or in SPN standards, season 13), the CW line was around 0.32 for WB and 0.24 for CBS products; All other networks were riding the 0.8 to 0.9 line with some expecting close to a 1.0 for their targets. Now compare that a year later.

To scale this, have this chart from this old article (link) showing the slide from 2003-2014 for the big 4.

You’ll also find it talking about a lot of the things I talked aboutabout “is TV really dying” and “why are numbers falling” and all that hot stuff. Funnily, they too also source Spotted Ratings, which I often source -- and which idiots take slang terms like “It’s very ‘inside baseball’” and turn into “you use baseball stats reeeee!” because people apparently don’t understand idioms. Protip: It’s a science and an art, it’s a sport, and if you don’t get the mechanics, Spotted Ratings can be dizzying to navigate because of how it puts laser focus breakdowns on the multifaceted parts of understanding how ratings work and what impacts them.

Given, this article was on the early end of the digital boom, so talks more about cable’s impact than digital -- which is also valid! You may remember that in my giant explanations that the CAUSES for TV decline have drifted (broadcast TV diversification, early satellite/cable, expanding cable quality, the conversion box mandate throwing people into that universe by force, digital, etc)

But there you go, that was the averages on the years. That includes highs, lows, stuff that got cancelled, daytime TV, primetime TV, and so forth. So when you guys hear me talk about the decline of TV across the board, there it was, and it hasn’t gotten better. In fact, we’re plummeting harder as digital further replaces classic.

2017, which is where I cycle back to the year I started talking about this in, and so on.

But even tapping out of paying more attention abroad has made this all the more dizzying to tune back into SINCE then and go, summarily, “What the fuck? How are shows floating on NBC at 0.5?”

So just remember, in the year of our premiere, networks were AVERAGING 3.5-4.0. Again, that includes highs, lows, stuff that got cancelled, daytime TV, primetime TV, and so forth.

That said, 

This mythical golden age? You know how I talk about Season 1 averaging a 1.9? That’s in its True metric based on timeslot. You know, the people who like to talk shit claim is “baseball stats.” Do you want to know what it’s real rating was? 1.4. So take a look at that, and take a look at all the surrounding networks. It ranked 165th on the calendar year out of 215 shows, in raw, unbridled numbers, have a citation. ‘Bout a 3.85 average on the big 4. Running about 2 and 3/4ths higher than SPN.

Season 2′s true numbers? a 1.1 while the big 4 are at about *checks* a 3.58 and *checks* 216th rank. Again, big 4 running about 3 1/3x higher than SPN. Season 3? 1.0. Welcome to 2007-2008 season. *scrolls back up to chart* Big 4 were running a 3.33 by then.  Or about 3 1/3 times what SPN was panning. Notice that slide?

Now do you notice a change 2008-2009? Season 4? Let’s see where the big 4 were at *leafs back up* ‘Bout a 3.11. Compared to the 3.85 a few years prior. Now SPN’s raw demo 18-49 was at. *leaf, leaf* Ah yes, a 1.1. Meaning That while the big 4 have slid SPN automagically stabilized and grew, hence the EW article in season 4 about “otherworldly gains in viewership.” 

And then came S5, which people who didn’t understand ratings fixated on the raw viewer drop but lo, behold, where were we in season 5, a 1.2! We went up. Again. While the big 4 were averaging... *checks* A sneeze above 3.0. Like 3.05ish. Or, summarily, the big 4 averages were only 2 1/2 times SPN’s averages. A better ranking than it had ever been. And climbed to rank 123.

Now, I’m not gonna run through the whole course of this. I don’t need to embarrass Sera Gamble all over again.  What I can say is season 6 dropped into the toilet at rank 209. Season 7 tried to fight back to a grand whopping 176. Season 8 bounced back to rank 152. Or, summarily, almost on par with S5. We bounced this bracket (141, 156) until season 11 where we hit rank 131. Season 12? Rank 132.

You wanna know where true finals were considered with SPN S13 once deadline reported in? 0.8. Not the numbers you all were crowing about. Here you go. (Link) Ctrl+F SPN. Oh look it’s at 126. Because Nielsen and anyone with a brain uses common sense and applies TST to ratings now because it’s not 2005 anymore you kumquats.The live was still a solid 0.55 ALONE.

Did I mention that SPN has been a top digital contender since S11 in the top 20 since? A metric that didn’t even exist in old era?

Okay so fine, what’s the Network Averages now that you’re banging on about how awful they are and being horrified? Let’s check TVByTheNumbers! (Link)

O...Oh. 0.825 would be the average of the other four. Oh... So SPN’s 0.41 of this year is... just... half. Of the big four averages. *scrolls back up* But... but the golden days! The... golden days where SPN ran at less than 1/3 the big 4 network ratings. Not 1/2. Protip: 1/2 is more than 1/3.

THERE WERE NO SPN GOLDEN DAYS OF OLD SERIES HIGH RATINGS. THIS IS WHY KRIPKE TALKED ABOUT THE GODDAMN BUBBLE.

And if you follow the CHAIN of this conversation, why he said season 4 was when he started being able to sleep at night and season 5 was when they were revitalized, thanks largely to [gestures at Misha Collins on SDCC panel] this guy. THIS IS WHY.

But -- but -- quality! That’s wild. Rottentomatos S1 reported, even when fresh and new, a 69% audience approval rating with an average 6.8/10. Since then its cult fandom has climbed it to 88%, which, understandable, but its critic meter has fallen it to 67%. S14, still fresh is pulling... 77% audience approval rating. And a 90% on the critic meter.  Wait! Well let’s see what old fandom did. Oh... critic meter S13 100%, audience 80% with 12 less years to boost it. Can’t boost how savage the critics were on S1 compared to later seasons, though.

*keeps filing* there has to be a newish season here people hated! Hey, I hated S12! And it-- *flips* got 79% audience approval and 86% critic meter. OKAY BUT FINE LET’S LOOK AT -- *flips* Oh, that’s super weird, It’s all really solid numbers with a literally visible gradient that can be history tracked with immediate recorded reports versus years later things boosting them over a decade. Wild. And everything still newly classing “Nailed it.”

THERE WERE NO SPN GOLDEN DAYS OF OLD SERIES.

This is purely a fandom hallucination not rooted in any level of reality.

And that? That’s just why seeing the slide blew my mind. Because I’ll be honest -- I DID think S14 was mildly down compared to S13. Not like, terribly. Not enough to cause a crisis. But enough it ticked on my radar thinking, I think we just slid beneath this retention line we’ve been managing to hold onto, holy cra- oh, no, nevermind. Fucking NBC is running a 0.5. Holy shit.

NBC was running a 3.3 when SPN S1 ran a 1.4 and a 3.0 when SPN S3 ran a 1.0. Now, NBC is running a 0.5 while SPN runs a 0.4. Do the math folks.

Lets get down to business.

^This is the checklist.^

I will reffer to it frequently.

Ive understood you the past six times. I understand your frustration but you have to think of it from a broader perspective and understand that there are more variables at play than wheather or not nonbinary people feel like an afterthought.

Just so were on the same page I'm going to make a list of things and people (in no particular order, since tumblr likes to re arrange blocks of text anyway.) I have taken the time to consider and continue to have to think about with every edit.

Femmes

POC

Butches

Nonbinary Folk (anyone who doesn't identify as a male or female)

Composition

Color Theory

Merchandising

Replicability

Color Blindness

Epilepsy

Disabled folk

Trans Women

Mainstream Culture

Intersex people

Production cost

Traditional Symbolism

Ease of Understanding

Character icons

Fun edits

Honoring the Dead

Jewish people

Queer history

Making it hard to erase any identity certain people might try to exclude.

The DAD test

So keeping all these things and the checklist in mind lets run shit down and try to fix the flag.

Goal: make nonbinary people feel included.

So NB people don't identify with the fem signs.

That's valid I get that, I gave an all stripe flag for y'all to use as you wish.

But that still makes them an after thought.

You're right I kinda seems that way. How about we just get rid of the fem signs all together!

Here's all the problems getting rid of the fem signs all together:

1: it leaves quite the empty space and feels like a bad composition

2: violates checklist points 2 and 6.

3:the spotlight would be flat out unrecognisable

Well how so?

POC would be unhappy to know that they have been dropped from the flag. Id imagine the same kind of backlash from disabled lesbains aswell.

Why not just make them into stripes too?

1: we all know how much backlash the brown stripes get from white people who think they're ugly.

2: if nonbinary people are represented as a white stripe and disabled people were a white fem sign, what color stripe would we associated with disabled people?

3: too many stripes.

Alright so stripes aren't a great idea, why not change the fem signs into something a bit more nueteral? Like just circles.

1: looses the clever side of the design that has a couple walking down a road or atop a light house, who's sillouhets are the projection for the spotlight.

2: making them into say a circle is rather abstract and would not catch on.

3: would violate checklist points 2 and 4.

4: its just bad design.

Why not add a third sign?

That gets a bit too complicated and starts confusing the message.

So then how do we compromise in a way that is practical and appeals to a mainstream audience but isint racist/albeist?

Well you make the flag more versatile. Give it different forms for different people with different needs.

But why is the one with the fem signs introduced first and one for Enbies introduced second? Why not introduce them all at once? Why have a primary flag at all?

This is what's called boiling the frog.

If you introduce people to the new flag idea starting with 5 flags that can be used interchangeably, they're going to be rather overwhelmed and might find themselves angry at such a preposterous idea.

So what you do is you introduce the flag with the most signage as the "main flag" and for every flag that is a subtraction of signage, introduce it as a resource for editing.

This allows people to use whatever form of the flag makes them most comfortable without making anyone else feel as if though they've been excluded from representation entirely. It also gives the opprotounity to explain to the clueless why you're using the "resource for edits" as the flag. It gives you a chance to explain to the curious the nuances to your identity at a pace that the person questioning would not be overwhelmed by, and might actually have a shot at understanding.

To say one is an after thought when 1.0 also had nonbinary people is truely reading a tad bit too into it and s little foolish considering you've been woven into the fabric of the flag since the very beginning.

Wait, why do we have to appeal to mainstream culture at all? Queer people have never been mainstream?

I think Natalie Wynn (contrapoints) said it best:

"If you want to persuade someone it helps to meet them where they're at"

So what does that mean?

Well it means baby steps. If we wish to educate people on the variety of lesbians we first have to appeal to what they think a lesbian is. Then over time you can slowly slip your more woke and educated points in.

Most people (outside of tumblr) dont know what a nonbinary person is, much less what the signage for them would look like.

But even that is not what lesbians as a whole are mostly concerned about as for us, where people are currently at is still not knowing what fucking flag to use for lesbians. The fem signs give a very difinitve answer to the question "wait what's that new flag suppose to be?" and potentially sparks interest into finding out why a post used this flag instead of the lipstick lesbian flag.

While it's not the wokest flag around it has been made very strategically to make replacing the old flag, easier and make more sence to the clueless onlooker.

Now a little bit about how graphic design and symbols work:

Lets talk about bathrooms for second. More specifically gendered public bathrooms. I know this is a hot topic and a lot of people are on board with having gender neutral bathrooms.

So for the sake of this example working lets get more specific and say were talking about porta potties. Technically all porta potties are gender neuteral, BUT for camping events lasting longer than a few days on grounds with no plumbing they have a womens porta potty.

Womens porta potties are exactly the same as all the others. They even have a urinal pipe for men. The reason that there is a womens porta potty is because some women do occasionally go on their periods and hazardous waste with blood in it has to be treated differently than hazardous waste without.

Now there's alot of different women and not all of them wear dresses. But the sign on the door to the womens portable shitter has a little picture of a person in a dress.

They dont use that signage to alienate people or dictate what women can wear. It simply uses the culture to illustrate what this crapper is.

They could put a biohazard sign on the women's toilet but, all fecal matter is a biohazard, blood or no blood.

Since not everyone is super savvy on what the bio hazard sign would imply about a women's camping toilet, that would be considered hostile design. Its not easy to understand.

Hostile design as a term usually applied to doors, or anti homless spikes but can be applied more broadly.

Now using the fem signs on the lesbian flag is the same as using the little dress person on a bathroom. Its not making a statement about the demographic using the item, it simply serves to make as obviously as possible using the cultural landscape it lives in, what the thing is for/about.

The most common signage used for lesbians is the interlocking fem signs. Using it on a thing simply states that thing that it is printed on is for or about lesbians.

Without the signs, it may be hard to figure out what flag its suppose to be if nobody told you.

Your frustration is valid and I'm not trying to make you an afterthought. Ive put alot more thought, time and, effort into this than I think anyone realizes.

If enough nonbinary people say they really wont use or support the flag I will make a new one, but be warned: I will throw a fit.

I will whine about it not only because I'm a little bitch like that, but also because its actually a fucking challenge that will require starting over from scratch.

But don't get me wrong I am still absolutely HELLBENT on making a flag that works.