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#I know other people have already written their own versions
acourtofthought · 3 days
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Fellow Gwynriel/Elucien here, but I don’t agree with the Nuala and Cerridwen erasure.
Here’s my question: why do you not want Nuala and Cerridwen to be involved in Elain’s story? Why are you so opposed to them having a more active role in Elain’s life?
Despite posting multiple times a day for what I’m presuming is years now, you have never once mentioned them in your blog (which is crazy, considering that Nuala and Cerridwen are indeed relevant to Elain’s character thus far). You didn’t even refer to them by their actual names in the post you made.
The ACOTAR novels rarely feature POC characters at the forefront. Nuala and Cerridwen’s involvement as Elain’s version of Gwyn and Emerie would be a fantastic opportunity to change that.
To date, aside from their spy work (which is never shown on page), they’re only said to be the IC’s servants/handmaidens, which is a particularity problematic stereotype.
Why shouldn’t we wish for more for both Nuala and Cerridwen?
Why couldn’t they be Elain’s own found family? We barely know them yet to make a call one way or another…
Nuala and Cerridwen aren't just the ICs servants or handmaidens, they're the ICs spies so they are already more. I'm also not sure why we have to claim someone who does hard work for others has to be given a more important role in order to be considered valuable. There's nothing wrong with maintaining someone's home.
Of course the main characters of a story go on to have greater purpose but it's a bit odd to claim every side character who works for them is the victim of a harmful stereotype. They're paid well and from what I gather are respected by Rhys so I'm not getting the sense they need to break free of shackles of some sort.
And having two of the NCs spies play a major role in a book feels a little redundant since Az is also one of the ICs spies and chances are high he's getting a book. And Lucien was once said to have been the Spring Court's emissary and possible spymaster so again, another main character who already fills that role. Both POC characters might I add. Which Rhys is, which Amren is, which Cassian is, which Az and Emerie are, which Helion is (and who would play a role in an Elucien book). An Elain pov featuring Nuala and Cerridwen would not be two female POC at the forefront. It would be a white FMC at the forefront with side character female POC, which we did see in SF, which we did see in ACOMAF in Amren. Emerie getting a POV would be a female POC at the forefront.
I'm not even sure the wraiths are technically POC because we're told they're half wraiths made from shadow.
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Alis had brown bark like skin because she was a certain sort of fae that resembled the bark of a tree but I don't think she was meant to resemble a particular kind of person in real life. There was the blue fairie with wings in book 1. Again, not really a poc so much as a specific type of fairie. The Suriel was gray, were they written as a POC? I think that's what we're being told of the twins rather than them technically being persons of color the way Kallias, Helion, etc are. Also, Vassa is referred to as having golden brown skin therefore she appears to be written as a poc and would most likely play a major role in Elain's book. Vassa who cared for Elain's father. Even then though, I don't think Elain will have a found family in the same way Nesta and Feyre did, I think she'll have various friends across all courts and lands. If she's to end up in Spring or Day, it wouldn't make sense for her core group of people to be from the human lands or NC.
I also don't recall the fandom demanding justice for Alis having bigger representation though she was also just a servant and only servant.
The reason I didn't refer to them by name is their names are complicated, I didn't want to misspell them and I didn't have my phone beside me at the moment I was typing the post. Not to mention it's a pain to continue writing two long names over and over which is why the fandom often defaults to ship names when possible.
And the reason I'm opposed to them having a more active role in Elain's book is I'm not. I'm not opposed to anything. In fact my fanfiction features Elain interacting with them so your comment that I never address them is incorrect. Many of my posts have addressed that I believe they'll always be friends of Elain, just not her main found family.
What I do when reading these books is try to follow what I believe the author is telling us.
The wraiths have been around since book 1 and if SJM had wanted us to believe they were important to the future novels I feel she would have begun to give us a bit more on them. Look at Jurian for example. He's only ever been a side character yet he's been given tons of dialogue, an interesting backstory, a dimensional personality, character growth and a developing purpose.
Sarah has chosen to keep the wraiths singularly dimensional, not having them share in dialogue with anyone outside Feyre, not giving them a greater role than that which they've had since the start of the series and not writing hints that they'll be relevant to future plots, a lot like she wrote Alis. I love Alis but I can recognize when authors are writing side characters who are meant to only stay side characters. Were the wraiths even in the war? Not to mention if Elain leaves with Lucien, why would they steal centuries loyal workers of the NC from Rhys?
If Elain leaves with Lucien, what need is there for two NC representatives to tag along for their romantic arc as they travel to Spring, to the continent, to Day, etc? Where they will most likely be meeting new people along the way in each place?
I'm not saying we won't see Elain interact with them in her book but no, I don't think they're her found family that she'll journey with.
I don't read books hoping for things that I think the author should do.
I read books and try to anticipate what I think the author is telling us she will do.
My feelings on the wraiths don't matter in the end, what Sarah's feelings on the wraiths do. And based on her patterns and past writing of side characters who were given greater purpose at a later point, Nuala and Cerridwen do not fit that mold.
You claim they are relevant to Elain's story but based on that logic Amren should have played a much bigger role in Nesta's book yet Sarah chose to have Nesta develop a found family outside of the friendship she made prior to her book.
Of course I could be wrong or she could change direction but I'm not going to sit here and theorize that which the author doesn't seem to be hinting at at this point in time.
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insert-content · 1 year
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a summar(ule)y of 196 culture
since the tumblr veterans have been kind enough to introduce us newbies to their site and culture, i think it is only fair that we explain the culture of our glorious former home to any tumblr users who might be interested in the #196 tag. keep in mind, all these things are based on my perspective of the situation.
first of all, some general information (that you might’ve already heard):
196 (r/196 on reddit) was a subreddit with only one (official) rule; "post before you leave." it was mainly a meme/shitposting sub, but it cultivated a large queer and left-leaning community. in protest of the recent api chances in reddit, 196 has shut down indefinitely until reddit reverts these changes.
now for some culture/references that you might come across
spronkus kronkus:
spronkus is this yellow, rabbit-like creature.
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they were the mascot of our subreddit. their appearance can vary from images to image, but as far as i’m aware, their full outfit consists of a bandanna in the colours of the trans flag around their neck, a gun labelled as such (other wise you obviously wouldn’t know what you’re looking at), and an axe also coloured like the trans flag.
r/place:
this is a rare event on reddit where the entire website gets a huge white canvas and can start creating pixel art on it. 196 participated by collaboratively creating our mascot, spronkus with "196!" written next to them.
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this version of the pixel art was recreated by me as i couldn't find a nice image of it. there were some changes between the first version and the end result, so this might not be exactly how it looked in the end
post titles/"rule":
reddit forces it's users to title every post they make. as most of the posts on 196 spoke for themselves, many user instead titled their posts "rule", to indicate that they followed the subreddit's only rule. some people also tried to make puns with the word or tried to include it in words that shared some letters (example: wor(ule)d).
anarcho-stripperism:
as the amount of cropped porn jokingly posted to the subreddit increased, the moderators decided that porn would be banned from the sub, with one exception: anarcho-stripperism. she made food fucking videos, in which she jokingly tested the fuckability of different food items (fruits, pasta, etc.)
bigotry showcase:
bigotry showcase was a post flair (basically the reddit equivalent of tags) on the subreddit and was later restricted to only be used on saturdays. under this flair people posted instances of different forms of bigotry to make fun it.
eating babies/hungryposting:
at some point, the subreddit started to pretend to like eating babies, which started a variety of memes regarding the subject. even a post flair called "hungrypost" was added because of this
goblinhog:
goblinhog is the most prominent and well-known member of the 196 moderation team. besides this, on 196 he was mostly known for changing people’s flair if you enjoyed him enough about it.
flairs:
flairs are little tags that are displayed under your name in posts or comments, they are also subreddit specific. most subreddits give their users a palette of preset flairs and the option to make your own custom flair. however, in 196 you only had the option to customize your flair during special events. if you wanted to customize your flair outside of those events (which was basically the entire time), you had to ask a mod to do it for you.
punching nazis:
from time to time, the same gif of a person with a nazi armband getting punched in the face, and promptly falling to the ground, was reposted to the subreddit. this became a sort of tradition.
discourse/drama
wasp discourse:
the wasp discourse was a one to two weeks long heated discussion that generally divided the subreddit into two factions. one side said that they were justified in killing wasps if they were attacked by them, while the other claimed that since wasps are just animals, they aren't aware of what they're doing in the same way humans are, and therefore should be spared.
drama about the british:
there was a time when jokes along the lines of "ew, british" became pretty frequent on the subreddit. as a response, some user claimed that this was akin to racism and tried to get others to stop with the jokes. a debate over whether or not it was important or necessary to stop followed afterwards.
pillar discourse:
this was a debate over which type of pillar should be considered the best (ionic; doric; corinthian). i have seen the question "which pillar is the best?" being used as a sort of greeting between 196 refugees on here.
related subreddits
195:
195 was the predecessor to 196, and also was a social experiment with the same premise as 196 (one rule, post before you leave). as the creators of 195 ended the experiment, the community wanted something with the same vibe to continue posting, and thus 196 was born.
197:
197 is another part of the 196 ecosystem and is commonly understood to be the more politically right-leaning and bigoted as 196, as some people who were banned from 196 continued posting there. besides that, the subreddits were essentially the same in terms of how they functioned.
19684:
this subreddit adds a second rule which banned all mentions of sex (that’s why it’s name is a pun on 1984). some people took this as banning all discussion of sexuality, which resulted in a community that was slightly less accepting of queer people. it is currently still up and running as the 196 moderation team wants a way to stay in contact with the community.
amendments to the posts:
u/femboy_expert:
another well-known 196 user. as the name suggests they're an expert on the subject of femboys, with their flair on 196 reading "phd in feminine boys". as the subreddit was somewhat obsessed with femboys, it's no wonder that they became popular.
u/shitcum_backup:
this was the main account of a pretty popular shitposter on the subreddit. although i didn't see them as much in the last few months, i remember them sometimes having a unique speaking pattern, in which they referred to themself in the third person.
u/monko74:
this user commented "Every day I thank god for not making me a r/196 celebrity," which led to many users of the subreddit treating them like a micro celebrity. there are even a few subreddits solely dedicated to u/monko74.
691:
a sister subreddit that inverts the rule of 196, here you would be (temporarily) banned for posting. some time ago the members of this sub initiated a rebellion/revolution against the bot who performed all the bans (roomba).
u/Smart_Calendar1874:
this wasn’t necessarily part of the subreddit, but it was a pretty popular meme. and since it’s getting posted on here again, and i know enough about it, i’ll add it to the post. this user made a post to r/AskReddit titled "How would you get a small cylinder (5.1in length, ~4.5in girth) unstuck from a mini M&Ms tube filled with butter and microwaved mashed banana? [sic]" it was pretty clear that they were referring to their penis, yet they continued to claim "it’s a cylinder," in the comment section. this lead to comments like "it is imperative that the cylinder […] remains unharmed," in response to people’s advice of cutting the m&m tube.
it's going to be very interesting to see which aspects of 196 culture are going to survive the tumblr migration, and which aspects won't be applicable on this site.
i'm obviously not the ultimate scholar on 196 lore. if i’ve missed or left out anything, or said something wrong, please comment it.
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infamous-if · 5 months
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To Gender Select, or to Not Gender Select
So as everyone knows, I'm using the opportunity for this rewrite to really step back and look at what I have so far. I have just subscribed to the whole "follow my gut" thing and for the last two months or so, my gut has been telling me something.
For context, I created Orion (and I have mentioned this a couple times when I first opened this blog) that he came to me fully formed. While other ROs were more of a puzzle that appeared more and more fleshed out with every detailed I added, Orion was like a jenga block tower that grew more and more unsteady every time I changed a detail about him. He just came to me exactly as he was and I didn't really think beyond that. For example, with G, pieces of both Gina and Griffin came to me at the same time and G isn't G without both versions. With Orion he was just...Orion.
But lately—and this was not without many suggestions asking for it!—I've been playing around with the idea of a female version of his character.
One of my biggest things was to make sure that this wasn't a matter of just changing a variable. When it comes to my gender selectable ROs, I want to make sure I'm including the subtleties and nuances that come with being a man/woman in the public eye, especially for O. Their route is heavily centered around the idea of professionalism and...other things I can't mention and I think it'd be super interesting to add another component of being a woman, not only typically stern and taciturn but in a dominant position in music mostly taken up by men. Which is why, in the rewrite, there will be lines that are unique to Orion and unique to her. Reactions that are different, conversations that change. People who continue to romance Orion will prob not see a difference.
Not only does it separate them as two different people, it creates some distance from Orion, who is an established and beloved character already. I want his female counterpart to stand on her own as her own character.
Just because they have the same route does not mean they are the same person. I've always said that about my gender selectable characters.
This was not a spur of the moment decision. I was thinking about this for a while. I just needed to make sure every piece of Orion's route would make sense for her, and I do believe it does.
I've also been told many times how many people like Orion's route and the whole "manager-client" trope but are unable to play it as they are not attracted to men. I think this would be a nice addition and a way to make it more inclusive/give more people more routes to play!
The things I have written for Orion will probably stay the same since they've been written. Everything after the rewrite will have both options to select from.
So meet Oriana Quinn. With a short black bob usually greased back and a perfectly pressed suit, Oriana is as intimidating as she is determined. Yes, she's just as tall and muscular as her male counterpart and as obsessed with the gym as he. Her route with Cory will be different in its nature (since Cory is straight) but...guess we'll see!
fun fact: The beauty of Oriana being the name is that coincidentally, it also has to do with the sky. One of my requirements for finding a name like Orion's was that it was sky themed since it does come up. It almost seems like fate! haha
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TLDR: Orion will be gender selectable. If you have plans to romance Orion and Orion alone, this will make no difference to you. For those who were hoping for this, I hope this news makes Infamous a bit more enjoyable for you! <3
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sailoryooons · 5 months
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I am going to say something that has really been bothering me that not everyone may agree with, which is totally okay, everyone is entirely valid to disagree with me: There is a fast fashion problem in fandom, specifically fanfiction.
Disclaimer: This conversation is not about broadly writing the same tropes, genres, and ideas. I am not talking about people writing fics with similar themes or the same name. I am specifically talking about people writing fics that are very obviously heavily influenced by other fics. This is not me talking about: I wrote __ character as enemies to lovers vampires and so did this person so they stole. Please do not trivialize this conversation with instances that are very obviously not what I'm talking about.
As someone who exists in the fanfiction space, I want to express what I have seen specifically in this space in my own experience, my mutuals experiences, and random experiences I have seen on my dash.
Recently, it seems like there is a reoccurring theme of writers (often new writers) taking "inspiration" from fanfics that they love and value and essentially creating their own version of that story to the point it is bordering on plagiarism. I say bordering on plagiarism because while people may not be copying line for line or entire scenes in order, you can tell that it is a re-arranged duplicate of another story.
I am not talking about writing similar tropes and dynamics. No one owns a trope or a dynamic. I am specifically talking about people taking the plots, scenes, concept and core of fanfics and recreating it and changing some plot elements or placing it in a different alternate universe and calling it their own, when at the heart of that fanfic, it is taken from someone else's creation.
This to me, reads like people who read a work, fall in love with it, but think 'this is easy to do, I can do this myself' and they end up making a replica of a fic that you can tell is a replica of another fic, despite adding some changes. Nine times out of ten, these inspired fics lack the obvious thought and heart the original writer put into it.
Which, begs the question: How is this different than fanfic writers taking inspiration from media (i.e. published books, movies, music, shows)? Because fanfiction is meant to replicate a specific something from published media. It is not meant to duplicate an already established fanfiction contribution.
I know that the nuance between that line is very ambiguous and it brings up the discourse on 'should there be fanfiction of fanfiction' - to which my response is it is, generally, pretty obvious what the difference between being inspired by a fic and copying a fic are.
In the last few months, I have lost count of how many times I or mutuals have a) discovered someone has been writing a story based off of their fic 2) have been asked to use an already written work to make their own or 3) already have started writing works modeled after an already written work and in hindsight asked the author if they could keep doing so (this third instance almost always happens after someone accuses them of stealing another work).
This feels like the fast fashion industry. Someone finds a story that is popular (whatever that means to the individual), takes all of the elements they think makes the story works, rearranges it, posts it as their own and and says they were 'inspired' (if they credit the original story at all).
This is why so many works that readers are coming across feel like they are the same thing. It is the same A + B + C = D over and over and over again, because people are outright just taking what they think works from other stories and using it.
Again - I am not talking about people who come across a trope, AU, genre or dynamic they like and add something similar to their story. I am talking about the people who are very intentionally and obviously writing the same exact fic with their own 'twist' (whatever that means).
Why is this a problem (beyond the fact that it's essentially roundabout plagiarism)? You're taking the heart, soul, and creativity someone poured into something and posting it on your own and robbing it of the originality, the essence, and the intention behind it. You cannot replicate a writer's feelings and obvious emotions that they have poured into the original work, and it shows. And it is gutting to the original authors who are finding remixes of their work across the fanfiction space.
Please consider whether or not you are inspired by a story or if you are redoing it in your own image. If you find yourself worried enough about your story that you feel like you have to publicly credit someone to avoid scrutiny, perhaps the question needs to be asked of whether you're just redoing what someone else already wrote.
Please do not confuse inspiration and recreation. 9 out of 10 authors will love that they inspired you to write, but would not love to find that you wrote a fic inspired by them that is a rearranged or hollowed-out version of the fic they wrote.
The fanfic space wants and needs more writers, but it does not need people unwilling to create their own art, instead taking bits and pieces from others and calling it a success.
Also adding: This problem also directly contributes to 'smaller' writers or more niche (often queer and bipoc) stories not getting the hype, readership, or recognition they deserve. On more than one occasion I've seen stories that had explicitly queer or bipoc characters taken and turned into heteronormative or white-presenting stories.
Note: This 1000% goes for actual visual art as well, including gifs etc. in fandom but I'm not well-versed there and thus, did not include it.
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sexyandhedonistic · 1 year
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How to Become the Most Iconic It Girl in Your Reality
A Guide to Bring Your Dream Self to Life
“You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe this is the only reason you do not see it.” Feeling is the Secret Ch. 1
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I. Introduction ✧
Hello, my loves! This guide will help YOU become the person you have always dreamt of being as the starring role of your reality. We’re going to cover so much so I hope you’re ready to bid farewell to the person you used to be and get ready to transform into the most desirable version of yourself yet. Whether you aspire to be an it girl, it boy, it person or it god, whatever your preferred title is, if you desire to be other than what you currently are, this guide is for you.
Note: this was written through a law of assumption lens so if you’re looking for a glow up post that tells you to eat fruit and cut off toxic people this is not the one. If you haven’t read my guide about the law of assumption or are new to it I strongly recommend you read that one first before reading further, as everything written later on will make much more sense that way.
A. What’s to come.
The comprehensive purpose of this guide is to help you become the person you have always dreamt of being and to remind you that you no longer need to be unhappy with who you are because you get to create your own reality, meaning that you get to define yourself. Not your environment, not your peers, you. Your upbringing may have persuaded you of the fact that you are undeserving of anything you could ever desire, but you don’t need to go another day feeling insecure, unloved and miserable. Life is your creation. The days of you being confined to the image others have imposed unto you are a thing of the past now.  I don’t know who you were before you opened this guide but that person isn’t you anymore. From this point on, you have been an icon from BIRTH.
B. Breaking down the terms “iconic” and “it”.
Before we start, let’s define what an iconic it girl is first.
To be iconic means to be impactful. What makes an icon an icon is the fact that they don’t live up to standards or expectations because they live by their own rules and are not afraid to deviate from the conventional. The difference between an icon and a non-icon is that icons aren’t all talk, they ARE about it. 
“It” refers to a prominent and commendable quality in an individual that evokes intrigue and admiration, especially one that makes said individual spectacular or exceptional. The it factor is subjective because different qualities instigate intrigue across different people. In the case of this guide, the IT factor will ultimately be up to you to define.
If we fuse both terms together with the law of assumption in mind, an iconic it girl is one who’s in total control of her reality. She’s a sovereign, she’s above everything and everyone and nothing can cause her to waver in her conviction. She’s the center of the universe and nothing can ever challenge that thought in her head. She calls the shots and she does what she wants. An iconic it girl is a trend setter. She doesn’t follow trends nor standards, she creates them. Nobody tells her what she can or can’t do and nobody tells her who she is because she has an established conception of herself.
C. Why be an it girl?
It girls tend to be the girls you either want to be or be with because they seem to have it all: wealth, beauty, sex appeal, allure, social circle, relationship, achievements and/or an interesting lifestyle. You see these girls on social media and you covet the lives they lead but you feel suppressed by your current circumstances because reality conditions your desires. If you want to change your appearance, you must be rich and if you want to be rich, you must work hard. If you want to be extroverted, you must change your personality and if you want to change your personality, you must step out of your comfort zone. That’s the reality of life because life operates by logic. But, guess what? You are not limited to what we once accepted to be the “reality of life”. We are infinite beings capable of everything we could ever desire in this world. Anything someone else is or has can also be you/rs and in this guide I’ll explain how you can.
Now that we have established what an iconic it girl is and why we can aspire to be one, we will now proceed with HOW to do it and more importantly, where it all starts.
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II. Conception ✧ of self.
“It is our conception of ourselves which frees or constrains us.” - No One To Change But Self
Self concept is how you see yourself in relation to the world and how you see the world in relation to you. All the assumptions you carry about the two comprise your conception of self, which as a result fashions the experiences you have in your world. From the way people treat you to the way you treat yourself, all of it has originated from your assumptions which harvested your state which has become part of your consciousness (what you know to be a fact at this very moment). Whether your goal is to manifest being an it girl or anything else, it always goes back to changing your self concept first, which is nothing more than a state.
A state is an attitude of mind comprised of beliefs (assumptions) and when we desire to change our self concept, we adjust our state of consciousness. You may not feel exceptional nor as if you have the it factor as of right now and that is credited to the contents of your state of consciousness. If you want to become an iconic it girl, you must first change your state into one of an it girl. How do you change states? Through feeling, by I AM.
A. I AM.
“I AM wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, free, confined were first of all impressions or conditions felt before they became visible expressions. Your world is your consciousness objectified. Waste no time trying to change the outside; change the within or the impression; and the without or expression will take care of itself. When the truth of this statement dawns upon you, you will know that you have found the lost word or the key to every door. I AM (your consciousness) is the magical lost word which was made flesh in the likeness of that which you are conscious of being.”- Your Faith Is Your Fortune Ch. 6
I AM is a declaration of self through what you are aware of being. You are incapable of speaking about yourself unless your statement begins with I AM. Manifesting becoming an it girl is not about acquiring something, it is about being the person who has that something through whatever comes after I AM:
I have money -> I AM [in the state of being] wealthy
I have perfect grades -> I AM [conscious of being] a stellar student
I have a partner -> I AM in a relationship
“Become identified with that character and feeling and you will be amazed how quickly you will realize your dream. The only sacrifice you are called upon to make, is to give up your present concept of self and appropriate the desire you want to express.”
B. EIYPO.
"Blind man sees the world objective to himself, something detached from himself. When man begins to awake he sees everything subjectively related; everything he meets is part of himself, and what he does not now understand, still he knows that it is related by affinity to some as yet unrealized force in his own being." - The Pruning Shears of Revision
Everyone is you pushed out accounts for the notion that whatever we think or assume of ourselves is pushed out into the world and reflected back to us. This means that the people around you will see you the way you see yourself and treat you accordingly. We manifest 24/7 through our established assumptions, so whether you have accepted as a fact that you are loved by everyone you meet or you aren’t very likable, your circumstances will evince that. However, that is not to say you are not entitled to feel upset when someone disrespects you. Although this may be a difficult truth to accept, the purpose of acceptance of it is to feel and realize that we are above what people say or how they treat us rather than to feel inferior because of it. So, how do we take this concept into consideration when we aim to become an it girl? We simply accept it as yet another facet of our realities that we are in control of. How do you get people to stop seeing you as the person you no longer want to be anymore? By changing self first. When you begin to see yourself as an it girl, the world will see you as one as well.
"There is no one to change but self. All you need to do to make men and women holy in this world is to make yourself holy. You are incapable of seeing anything that is unlovely when you establish within your own mind's eye the fact that you are lovely."- No One To Change But Self
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III. Imagination ✧ Optimize your creative power.
“Everything in your world that you behold, though it appears without, it is within, in your imagination. And this wonderful imagination of yours is Christ Jesus. Imagination is the actual habitation of every created thing. No matter what you see in the world, it springs from your imagination. So that's where you go, that's the workshop, the garden of God.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision
A wonderfully comforting aspect of the law of assumption is that we all possess the inalienable gift that is to be able to grant upon ourselves whatever it is we desire to have, do or be. No matter what it is that you want, be it factual or fictional, existent or nonexistent, you can have anything. It is possible to become the person you have always wanted to be due to the lack of limitations in imagination. If you can think it, you can become it. Whether you desire to look like someone, have a relationship that mirrors the one in your favorite k-drama with your celebrity crush or be exactly like your comfort character, I could go on and on with examples of whatever it is you can have, do or be because when I tell you that you are a limitless being, I mean it wholeheartedly.
I must emphasize and drive this point home. All is possible in the world. Every possible desired life aspect you could ever fantasize about in your imagination exists because creation is finished. Whether it’s your dream home, career, income, accomplishments, possessions, relationship, friend group, physique, personality, lifestyle whatever it is you dream of having is possible to be conscious of because there are a myriad of states for us to choose from. That state already exists like a suit that is waiting for you to wear it until it becomes a natural part of your consciousness.
Because of this, it naturally makes sense to acknowledge that we no longer need to be neither humble nor jealous of another. If we know we can have absolutely anything in the world, even something already in the possession of another, why would we?
With our wonderful human imagination on our side, we can transcend the limitations that surround us. Whether you desire to get accepted into an ivy league university two years early with a 2.1 GPA or eat endlessly without gaining a single pound and jeopardizing your health, your limitless self is capable of becoming conscious of it and more, so let your imagination run free devoid of any restrictions when you define your it girl. The presentation of any circumstances do not and will never matter. To be is as simple as asking yourself whether or not you want to be it.
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IV. Inspiration ✧ Defining your it girl.
Now we’re getting to the fun part of this post because you get to use your creative power: imagination. Remember a few sections ago when we discussed what the IT factor is? This is where you get to determine what IT is. Let me remind you again, your idea of what an it girl is is subjective, so it won’t be exactly like someone else’s definition. It girl is not a mold in which you are expected to fit into. Whether you want an active socialite nepo baby city life or a secluded pastry-making book-reading cottagecore life, doesn’t matter. This is all about who you desire to be. With that, let’s get down on how to determine what your it girl self looks like.
A. Who do you want to be like?
What qualities in a person would make you perceive someone as admirable or inspiring? Hard work? Being multifaceted? Do they have a personality you wish you had?
Think of people you deem iconic or who you look up to and why you perceive them as such. Are they someone who’s successfully pursued a personal goal of yours? Is their career full of achievements?
Don't condense your inspirations to people, you can also take fictional characters into consideration. Whether it’s Maddy from Euphoria, Blair from Gossip Girl or Pooja from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, think of the characters from your favorite films and tv shows for more ideas.
You can also consider some of the most popular archetypes across social/media such as the femme fatale, the socialite, the siren, the beauty and brains, any archetype that possesses a lifestyle or aura that you would like for yourself can also be taken into consideration.
B. Which trains would you like to possess?
Beautiful, magnetic, mysterious, seductive, desirable, alluring
Extroverted, fun, trend setter, admired, confident, charismatic
Intimidating, unapologetic, bold, unique, center of attention, 
Kind, soft spoken, empathetic, nurturing, humanitarian
Intelligent, articulate, ambitious, hedonistic, successful, perfectionist 
C. What are some interesting qualities/assumptions about you?
Always the life of the party
Speaks multiple languages
Excels at everything on the first try
Has a commanding presence
Loved by everyone and full of admirers
Everyone you develop an interest in always pursues you
People find you alluring and inspiring
Bearer of the Halo effect - receives advantages and special treatment just for being gorgeous 
Mastered or proficient in a specific subject/sport/language/instrument
Art connoisseur / literature, films, fashion, music, photography
Knowledgeable across different subjects / history, science, interior design, fragrances, wine, etc.
Knowledgeable in sophisticated fields / law, politics, economics, finance
Expert at a specific hobby or activity / chess, bridge, painting, sculpting, skating, singing, dancing
Skilled at / sewing, cooking, baking, knitting, makeup, styling, coding
D. Combine it.
Once I had an idea of what I wanted my new self to be like , I would refer to scenes in tv shows when a character is being introduced in third person as if they’re reading a profile about them. They don’t just name the character, they’ll list their background, their personality, what they do, what their interests are, etc. and then twist this for myself and imagine how I would like another person to describe me. I’ll list an example of what that would look like below:
[Note: to stay on theme I will be providing an it girl example, make this your own!]
One word to describe her? Extraordinary, but she’s too much to even conceptualize in a single word that it almost feels disrespectful to her. She either inspires you to be at her level or mortifies you for not being at her level. She's influential and enticing, opulent and godly. She has sky-high standards and smells like Tobacco Vanille. She always gets what she wants and doesn’t take no for an answer.  She studies hard in the daytime and attends prestigious social gatherings in the nighttime. She’s a polymath with an IQ of 168 who knows a little about every subject. Whether it’s foreign languages, interior design, pastry making or art, she’s full of knowledge and constantly teaches you something new. She’s innovative and always formulating progressive ideas which also makes her a trendsetter.  Whatever she does whether it’s a hobby or putting an outfit together she always owns it in her own unique manner. Because of that, her presence captures the attention of everyone in the room without her even saying a word. Her magnetic aura and sultry gaze make her irresistible to anyone who locks eyes with her. Men go crazy over her even though they know she’d never look twice at them. She’s witty and fun to be around.  She’s unlike anyone you’ve ever met before. In fact, you could copy her personality and style down to a T and you still would not be able to capture her essence. You can’t get her out of your head because her beauty, passion and determination make her unforgettable. 
Now that you have an idea of who your new self is, let’s talk about how to dump the old self.
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V. Immolation ✧ Say goodbye to the old story forever.
“Man is not willing to outgrow, [and] yet he wants other things than those he has. But if you remain in one state, you will forever have to suffer the consequences of not being in another state. (From the “Hermetica”). If I remain in the state of poverty, I must suffer the consequences of not being in the state of wealth.” - The Art of Dying
A. No one to change but self (concept).
“Heretofore I thought I could change others through effort. Now I know I cannot change another unless I first change myself. To change another within my world I must first change my concept of that other; and to do it best I change my concept of self. For it was the concept I held of self that made me see others as I did.” - No One To Change But Self
I started this guide with self concept for a reason. If you want to create a change in your life you must first begin with self . As within, so without. An inner change must precede an outer change because we do not experience what we want, we experience what we are. Any attempt to change our worlds without changing ourselves is a mere delusion because the world will forever reflect back to us that which we are conscious of being. You want the world to know that you’re an it girl? Feel yourself to be an it girl first.
B. Forgiveness.
“You must learn to distinguish between the eternal human who occupies a state, and the state itself. This is the only means to forgiveness.”  - True Forgiveness
Forgiving is forgetting and forgetting is letting go. When you are able to feel yourself to be who you want to be, you let go of who you used to be. You no longer have to be somebody you don’t want to be because a change of state is always instant. Every day is a new day and every moment is a new moment. If you are currently a miserable person and then you decide you are not then you are no longer a miserable person because you chose to not identify with it. You are not your state and you cannot be affixed to any state you don’t want to occupy. You will always have the option to embody any state you would like to occupy. You can shift that immediately through forgiveness and intention. Through forgiveness, you create the severance between the state you were formerly in and the state of an it girl. 
C. Regret no more. 
“Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself.” –  Feeling is the Secret
I’d like to take this moment to tell you that regret doesn’t need to be a thing anymore because you can revise the past. That hobby you wanted to pursue but gave up on? Your GPA that you can’t go back and fix? The best friend you miss? Do you remember when you wanted to start drawing but then you stopped? Or when you did ballet when you were younger and never continued? Remember when you started learning Spanish and then gave up? You don’t need to feel regretful anymore because you can revise all and reshape the past to be in harmony with the it girl that you are. Whether you wish you had grown up wealthy or with a specific skill which would later become your passion, absolutely every aspect of your life can be adjusted. There’s no need to resent the past because it is not set in stone.
D. Let go of the external.
I urge you to not let anything outside of you define you or your life. Whether it’s the tarot deck, the tea leaves or a birth chart, none of those sources have a say in what your life looks or will look like. There’s no such thing as a predetermined fate for you. Every single aspect of your world is malleable at your command, so give up the idea that there’s any other force in the world capable of interfering with your desires.
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VI. Reincarnation ✧ The birth of a new you.
“You must this night – not tomorrow – learn the technique of writing your own obituary and so completely die to what you are that no man in this world can tell you where you buried the old man.” - Consciousness is the Only Reality
A. A newly acquired mentality.
It’s time to step into your power and see yourself as the GOD that you are. You no longer need to live by the limitations the world has convinced you exist. You don’t need to do or be anything/one you don’t want to do/be and more importantly you do not need to settle for anything that doesn’t live up to your expectations. If you don’t like something, it doesn’t need to be a thing. Think about it being as simple as blocking someone, you are not gonna annoy me in MY reality.  Starting today, you get to decide who you want to be and who or what gets to be a part of your life. Again, this is YOUR world, YOUR reality and everyone else is simply living in it. Why should you ever worry your gorgeous self about anything not going your way if this is your world? You’re the one on the pedestal and whatever you say must go. 
Imagine telling a person exactly that, This is your world and everyone else is simply living in it. We are at such a huge advantage with the law of assumption because you don’t even need to be concerned with the course of action, you just need to focus on being (I AM). When you talk to people through the confidence of knowing that every single one of your goals is absolutely achievable, because through the law of assumption they always are and always will be, it is very easy to appear as confident to the average doubtful person. Everyone around you carries the idea with them that failure and rejection are always possibilities. You’re not like them, though. You’re completely limitless. You can excel at whatever career you want to pursue, you can date anyone you point your finger at, you can possess all of the riches the world has to offer and there’s no need to be humble about it. You are THE it girl, after all, are you not? All we’re stating is facts.
B. You cannot serve two masters.
“If you are dissatisfied with your present expression in life the only way to change it, is to take your attention away form that which seems so real to you and rise in consciousness to that which you desire to be. You cannot serve two masters, therefore to take your attention from one state of consciousness and place it upon another is to die to one and live to the other.” - At Your Command Ch. 2
In other words, you cannot sustain two polarizing states at once and you cannot take any part of the old state into the new state. If you want change, you must be loyal to it. You must be so committed to it that you have no space to even consider the old story because it doesn’t matter in the slightest anymore. Fall in love with your new state of consciousness that you are willing to be devoted to it no matter what. Leave the old in the past so the new can take its place.
C. Feeling the wish fulfilled.
“You must assume that you are what you want to be and continue therein, for the reality of your assumption has its being in complete independence of objective fact and will clothe itself in flesh if you persist in the feeling of the wish fulfilled” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 21
Capturing the feeling of the wish fulfilled is utterly essential, no matter what it is that you desire to manifest because the process will always be the same. First we must assume ourselves to be that which we desire to be through I AM and we persist in it independent of the objectiveness of our world until we are one with our new state.
The moment you successfully attain that feeling and continue to live by it, the direction of your attention will continue to focus on the implications of its fulfillment. That is, when you start to accept yourself as an it girl, the scenes that would suggest its consummation will make their way into your imagination, and if you persist in them they will inevitably become part of your state of consciousness.
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VII. Invocation ✧ How to become it.
“When you pray, do not get down on your knees and pray to any unknown God. Instead, go to bed and dare to assume you are now who you want to be. Fall asleep assuming it is true and you will be on the road to success, for this is how things are brought into being.” - Brazen Impudence
A. SATS + lullaby.
I have an extensive post about the state akin to sleep which I highly suggest you read for further clarification as well as how I like to use the SATS. I’ll leave the instructions below:
The first step is to define your objective. Have a clear idea of what it is you would like to be (or be in possession of).
Next, ask yourself, “what does the end of that goal look like?” For example, if you would like to manifest a prestigious job opportunity, you’d be congratulated on it. If you’d like to manifest a change in appearance, you would receive compliments (It doesn’t need to include another person, but you may find it more helpful in order to feel it more real). Whatever the end looks like, it must always be an event that implies its fulfillment, that it is done. This is the wish fulfilled.
Get into a comfortable position. You can lay down or sit upright, it doesn’t matter, do whatever feels most comfortable.
Relax. You can do some breathing exercises, listen to music, have a warm drink, whatever it is that makes you relax. 
Induce a moderate degree of drowsiness where you can still concentrate on the wish fulfilled, but be sure to not feel too drowsy where you find it difficult to focus. When you feel like you could move but you don’t want to (because you’re too comfortable), that’s when you’ll know you’re in the state akin to sleep.
Construct a scene that implies the fulfillment of your desire by making elsewhere here and then now, then feel it real by incorporating your senses into it and imagine yourself being present within your imaginal scene from your perspective. Confine your scene to a single action. If your scene implies that you have received wonderful news, do not wander off in your visualization by doing a thousand irrelevant things afterwards, simply stick to the congratulations and mentally feel yourself being present in your scene. Repeat the scene until it takes on the tones of reality. [A tip from Edward Art: Focus on feeling it real (feeling the wish fulfilled) first and then the sensory aspects of your scene will follow]
If you find it difficult to focus on a scene and feel it real or if you simply cannot conceptualiza what the end would even look like, follow steps 1 through 4 and do the following: condense the fulfillment to three words or less and repeat them over and over again until your mind is dominated by the single sensation of thankfulness. Meditate on this phrase until you accept it as a fact.
¹ Visualization ideas.
Your scenes will vary depending on what life you want to live. You can change your scenes every time you visualize during the SATS so long as they all imply the same end. What would imply that you are an it girl? Being interviewed? Walking down a red carpet? Men dropping their jaws when you pass by? For ideas, consider what activities would comprise a day in your it girl life.
² The lullaby method.
"Remain there until you feel its certainty, until you reach the point of satisfaction, until you are convinced of its truth; and although the world may collapse around you, you will become that which you have assumed you are." - An Inner Conviction
If you would like to try out the lullaby method, some three word phrases you could use are: I’m that girl/person, I have everything, It is done, I’m so happy, I AM (__), etc.
B. Mental diets.
“Feast on the idea, become identified with the idea as though you were already that embodied state. Walk in the assumption that you are what you want to be. If you feast on that and remain faithful to that mental diet, you will crystallize it. You will become it in this world.” - Thinking Fourth Dimensionally
Mental diets aren’t particularly necessary since they can imply that you need to be monitoring your thoughts constantly. However, objectively being conscious of them can help you determine what state you are currently occupying. If you would like to indulge in a mental diet you can do so by asking yourself the following questions:
Is this what I would want someone else to say or think about me?
Would my it girl think this thought?
I would also like to briefly recall that thoughts alone don’t hold power unless you accept them as facts. You can have intrusive thoughts and joke all you want about how you’re ugly but unless you persist in that and feel them to be true it will not manifest.
C. Inner conversations.
"What are you saying at every moment of time? Watch it; be careful what you are saying, because your whole vast world is this inner conversation pushed out." - Control Your Inner Conversations
I urge you to stop internally berating yourself or imagining someone speaking negatively about you. Pay attention to the perpetual inner conversation you hold with yourself: “I’m not good at math”, “my friends always make plans without me”, “I’m so awkward”, because what you say and believe about yourself is what you will continue to face in the third dimension. Instead, think about the lovely remarks you’d like others to say about you and mentally hear them say them. You can also try vaunting which is the practice of constructing a conversation in which you brag from the wish fulfilled. You can turn to the example I used of being described in third person by someone else and speak from first person instead (I AM).
D. Revision.
"At the end of my day, I review the day; I don't judge it, I simply review it. I look over the entire day, all the episodes, all the events, all the conversations, all the meetings, and then as I see it clearly in my mind's eye, I rewrite it. I rewrite it and make it conform to the ideal day I wish I had experienced. I take scene after scene and rewrite it, revise it, and having revised my day, then in my imagination I relive that day, the revised day, and I do it over and over in my imagination until this seeming imagined state begins to take on to me the tones of reality. It seems that it's real, that I actually did experience it and I have found from experience that these revised days, if really lived, will change my tomorrows. When I meet people tomorrow that today disappointed me, they will not tomorrow, for in me I have changed the very nature of that being, and having changed him, he bears witness tomorrow of the change that took place within me." - The Pruning Shears of Revision
Before you go to bed, revisit the occurrences of your day and when you recall an unfavorable one that challenges your it girl state of consciousness and rewrite it. Follow the steps for the SATS and construct a scene that would replace the unfavorable situation and convert it into a favorable situation.
E. Finish the day feeling the wish fulfilled.
"Do not let the sun descend upon any vexation of the day." - The Pruning Shears of Revision
This one is an absolute must. If you can help it, try to refrain from falling asleep in the assumption that you are not an it girl. If you are not feeling the wish fulfilled, take a few minutes to meditate on your state and then fall asleep feeling embraced by it and the relief of knowing that who you desire to be is who you already are (also known as the Sabbath).
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VIII. Preservation ✧ How to sustain it.
"Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith!" - God’s Creative Power
A. Persistence.
“By desiring to be other than what you are, you can create an ideal of the person you want to be and assume that you are already that person. If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable.”  - The Power of Awareness Ch. 3
To briefly remind you, persistence means to remain obstinate with an intention regardless of difficulties or obstructions. When you are adopting a new state of consciousness, you may initially struggle to feel it real or even become impatient with its lack of manifestation in the third dimension, but you must keep returning to it no matter what.  You may waver and you may falter but if you remember to proceed with the embodiment of your it girl state by returning to it through any preferred means, no force and no power will cumber its realization.
B. Forget about time.
"The length of time between my desire and its conception depends entirely upon my inner conviction that it is done."- An Inner Conviction
Focusing on the “time” it takes for your state to feel natural to you will only hold you back and keep you in a cycle of waiting. Ask yourself what the end, or the actualization of being an it girl, looks like for you and live in it. Do not suppress yourself to what appears to be the present moment if it is not reflecting the end of your desires.  If you are concerned with “the time it’ll take”, then you are conscious of the opposite of your desires which means you are not feeling the wish fulfilled.
Always seek the wish fulfilled and abide by it until it blossoms into your world.
C. Disregard appearances.
"These appearances will continue in being as long as you give them life through your conscious awareness of them. You must disregard the evidence of your senses as it pertains to any undesirable condition in your life. You must Imagine and feel that you have already attained that which you want to experience rather than that which you do not want to continue in being. This may appear difficult, yet you have probably exercised this principle unconsciously to produce negative results." -  Imagination Creates Reality
Do not settle for less than you seek. You never need to compromise with whatever it is that you desire because as I have mentioned, all exists and all is possible. Reject anything that doesn’t confirm that you are an it girl and never take no for an answer. Be adamant. Decide on what it is that you want and regardless of the limitations of your environment, consent to its immersion to your state of consciousness. No matter what you see or hear, do not accept it if it is not what you want. If you continue to suppress the acceptance of your desires to your senses then that's where your consciousness will remain.
“You don't accept one thing in the world as final unless it conforms to the ideal you want to realize in the world.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision
D. You already are, not will be.
“That which you seek you already are, it can never be so far off as even to be near, for nearness implies separation.” - No One To Change But Self
Something we can learn from it girls is the following: it girls don’t care whether or not they’re it girls, they simply are. So although we are intentionally shifting our state of consciousness, remember to not approach this with a trying mindset or the idea that you will become when you already are, because the use of the word “will” implies that you currently are not. As I’ve said before, “you can’t try to be someone you already are”. Whatever the wish fulfilled looks like for you, accept it at this very moment. Go straight to the end and bathe in it, rejoice in the fulfilled prayer as you go about your day and remain faithful to that inner conviction.
E. Reject the possibility of failure.
“Don’t be anxious or concerned as to results. They will follow just as surely as day follows night.” - Your faith is your fortune Ch. 21
Your desires are literally a guarantee. You can bring absolutely anything into being if you proceed with your intention in spite of what you experience in the flesh. You possess a gift that no one will ever be able to confiscate from you and that is your imagination. Intentional use of this gift will bring forward the beautification of your world in means you would not have been able to devise. Do not become an impediment in your journey by concerning yourself with the means, for they are never your responsibility. If you are serious and willing to assume in your favor, the mountains that need to move will move, the obstacles in the path towards heaven will be cleared and the people who need to play a role relative to its fruition will act accordingly without you having to do so much as lift a finger.
F. Apply.
“You must be doers of the law of assumption, for without application, the most profound understanding will not produce any desired result.” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 18
It is not enough for you to read the entirety of this guide without intending to put the instructions in it to use. You could read and listen to every document, every book and every lecture out there that tells you exactly how to manifest your desires but unless you take that information and put it to use, it was all acquired in vain. This post was long and detailed, do not let it go to waste by refusing to apply and persist. Wanting to do it is not enough, you must DO IT through persistence and a disciplined mind. Do not let the day in which you are reading this post to come to an end without acknowledging that you are an it girl now, not will be, you are. Plant the seed today and you will reap the harvest tomorrow.
"Your assumption, to be effective, cannot be a single isolated act, it must be a maintained attitude of the wish fulfilled." - The Power of Awareness Ch. 22
G. Calm reminders
I’m sure some of these concerns may have risen at some point so I will clear them up right now: acting as if is not necessary, neglecting your current circumstances and pretending they are not occurring is not necessary and being happy all the time is also not necessary. It is okay if you fall out of your new state from time to time, do not think that there is such a thing as “losing progress” because you can never truly lose what is already in your possession. If you are dealing with difficult circumstances I strongly recommend you read this post: how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too.
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IX. Motivation ✧ 
“I don’t care what it is; when you know what you want, you can make your desire so real, so natural that you will reach a feeling of certainty which no power in the world can stop. When that feeling is yours, drop it. Don’t ask anyone if what you did was right or wrong; you did it and that’s all that is necessary.” - An Inner conviction
If you are truly serious about becoming the it girl of your reality, you’ll have to be disciplined, determined, and persistent. You have to be willing to give up who you are right now in order to become who you want to be because the longer you entertain your old self, the longer you’ll postpone your dream self. You can decide at any moment to change, and if you are not actively working towards shifting your state of consciousness then you are consenting to its preservation. You accept what you tolerate, whether it’s mediocre friends, mediocre grades or a mediocre lifestyle and the only way to put an end to that is by intending to because it all starts with you. Do you want it enough? Are you willing to finally become an it girl or will you continue daydreaming about being an it girl? If you’re capable of being someone you don’t want to be, what makes you think you aren’t mutually capable of becoming someone you do want to be? Your it girl self is not far away from you, she already exists within your imagination and she is waiting for you to bring life to her. You already know everything you need to know in order to do it, so what’s stopping you? I know it can feel challenging because we feel confined to our current circumstances but I have so much faith in you and I know you have it in you to give yourself the world. You deserve to wake up every day feeling completely obsessed with yourself and your life. You don’t need to spend a minute longer hoping things that feel like they’re out of your control change if you know you are the one who’s in control. This is your reality, after all. Decide who you want to be and what life you want to lead, start showing up every day for it and remember to never accept anything that doesn’t live up to your standards. Dare to pursue everything you have ever wanted, all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed. 
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X. Outroduction ✧
"Every dream could be realized by those self-disciplined enough to believe it."-  No One To Change But Self
And that concludes this guide! If there’s one takeaway you should carry with you from it it’s the following: you reserve the right to have high standards in regards to every aspect of your life, you deserve the partner of your dreams, the home of your dreams, the life of your dreams, you deserve all of it and more. Becoming an it girl doesn’t require a meticulous plan of action. All it takes is the use of imagination and discipline. You can realize your every dream. Whatever you want regardless of what it is or how unrealistic it sounds, you should demand more out of life and you should never settle for less than you desire, fantasize about or dream of, you can have it and you should have it. The world was made by you and for you so be self-willed and go for it. I have given you everything you need to know to become an it girl and all you have to do is apply. You’ve got this! Remember that you cannot fail, so when you succeed (notice how I didn't say if), I want to hear your success story. Until next time, mis amores!
Love always, your bestie Hera * .♡ *:・゚✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆
“You can be the man (or woman) you want to be, but not by simply wishing. You must make the effort to look at the world mentally and see it reflect your fulfilled desire. And when it does you must remain in that state until you reach the inner conviction that what you are seeing, touching, tasting, smelling, and hearing is true, clothe yourself in the feeling of its reality - and explode! Do that and you are pregnant. And what do you do after pregnancy? Nothing! You simply wait for its birth to appear in its own appointed hour. And it will! When you least expect it your desire will objectify itself in the world for you to enjoy, whether it be health, wealth, or fame. That’s how God’s law works.” - An Inner Conviction
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speirslore · 20 days
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band of brothers flirting styles + reaction to you flirting back
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(this includes winters, nixon, speirs, lipton, roe, bull, and liebgott! but if your fav isn't here, feel free to send an ask and i'll add them!)
lmk if you would like to be on my taglist: @ronsparky @bcon24 @blueberry-ovaries @1waveshortofashipwreck @beautifulbluejay
[dick winters]
dick feels kind of useless when trying to flirt
a lot of it is nix having very middle school vibes of 'hey, my friend over there thinks you're gorgeous btw'
it's very endearing
you waltz over to where dick is and his ears are already red before you even get to the table
he'll apologize abt lew instantly and you frown like, "oh, was it a joke?"
dick immediately is like "no, no, he- i meant it"
his nervous rambling is sooo cute to you, you can only smile and say, "i'm glad and by the way, i think you're pretty gorgeous too."
if his face can go any redder, it definitely does then
when you start talking, he's slowly getting less flushed and more comfortable
but he's an overthinker so he still isn't totally convinced that you're flirting
has to have lew pull him aside, shake him a little bit, and be like, yes they are absolutely into you, yes that is flirting
i do think dick can get super flirty once he's more comfortable, like once you're dating and it's just the two of you, he's so charming and sweet
but the first time you meet, he's just so shy but still very sincere with his compliments
dick is great about making eye contact because he just thinks your eyes are so beautiful
the night ends with his hand on the small of your back
and tbh the spiciest it will get after you first meet is a kiss to his cheek when he's leaving with a napkin with your number written on it
and nix is just watching like a proud father <3
[lewis nixon]
if there's one thing lewis nixon is, he is charming
he's very used to disarming others with said charm
he is such a gentleman... he was painstakingly subjected to a lot of manners and etiquette classes as a child/teenager
and lew now puts it to good use!
he's so good at flirting with his own brand of nihilistic, high society charm
so when you flirt back and respond... he's sooo excited like this is so fun for him
lew is very used to people being completely disarmed by him
but you're not... you grinned when he walked over to where you and your friends were talking and asked you to dance, and pressed a kiss to his cheek when you said yes
he does blush faintly, which is a huge deal for lew because that never really happens
once you're dancing, oh he's a menace
he's having SO much fun, hand on your waist maybeee moving lower
he thinks you’re so funny and lew’s grin and laugh... so top tier
it's so nice when it's genuine, and even though you just met him you want to hear it again and again
he can't stop smiling like it's soooo obvious, lew makes absolutely no effort to hide how attracted to you his is
does not try to play it cool at all like he wants you sooo bad
has absolutely no shame
and it does not take long before you're making out outside the pub, already feeling familiar and warm in his arms
[ron speirs]
ron honestly feels a little silly trying to flirt
it's very hard for him to get out of his own head about it
the most intense eye contact ever?
eye contact is ron's version of flirting
'like why don't they understand i want them in every possible way... i'm looking at them??'
ron really just does not understand, he's pulling out all the stops with his slightly unnerving eye contact
and also just talking, like if he's willingly having a longer than 5 minute conversation with you and actually talking about himself? ron is actually professing his undying love
a lot of just blunt complimenting too, i mean sweet compliments but just out of nowhere, like "you have beautiful eyes, you know."
when you flirt back, touch his arm, and look up at him, he's definitely melting inside
especially if you're normally more shy or reserved... oh he's hooked
he doesn't outwardly show it... at least not obviously... but you can tell from his eyes, the way they intensify, darken, widen, and focus on you
ron does love praise
"you know lieutenant, ron, you do have gorgeous eyes, too."
"and i love your hair, the sweetest curls"
oh he's yours entirely... please give him all the words of affirmation
it gets pretty obvious when he's really responding to your flirting, staring at your lips and biting his lip, moving closer to you
has this smirk that just subconsciously appears
like lew, escalates very quickly
ron is a very physical person and that's when he can really show his attraction ;)
[eugene roe]
eugene is not confident in his flirting at all
he's very very subtle
and he honestly does better talking to someone he's attracted to by just striking up normal conversation and learning about them and not approaching it as trying to flirt
his voice goes lower and raspier if that's even possible
especially if you're in a bar, with a lot of music and voices loud, he just instinctually leans closer to your ear, face so so close
then immediately realizes he's super close to you now and tries not to freak out
gene has to get out of his own head first and when he does that, he can be so charming
he just unintentionally has that sexy suave energy
especially when he drops certain pet names in french
you flirting back is a hugeeee relief for him
and repeating said french? like yes it’s cheesy and cliche but it sounds so nice coming from your lips!
he can't hide his smile at all like, laughing into the sip of his drink
"i'm impressed," he'll murmur
"you should be, i'm pulling out all the stops for you, eugene."
oh he blushes so badly
he lovessss hearing you say his name, he's so used to only being 'doc' or 'roe', it's so nice to actually hear his name, especially coming from you <3
[bull randleman]
oh he's so sweet!
that southern drawl... yeah it's super charming
and the cigar... sorry it's super sexy
i think he would be surprised, pleasantly surprised
and then would immediately proceed to get super shy though
he feels like he's got a good head on him, resourceful, smart, etc
but it all goes out the window when you're flirting with him!
yes he def blushes
also very observant to how you're reacting
i think he would be really into kisses but would be scared to initiate anything
especially the first time meeting you
would love to dance
is he that great... no... does he feel like his hands are way too sweaty... yes... does he step on your foot a few times... maybe
but it's very endearing!
very southern gentleman of course
like he is definitely holding the door open for you, standing up when you walk into the room, etc
[joe liebgott]
joe is incredibly charming
and very honest
like he lays it on pretty thick
there's never any questioning of 'is he actually into me? or is he just talking to me?'... he leaves absolutely no room for overthinking
like you definitely know... there is never a doubt
and when you flirt back he gets the biggest, cocky grin
joe gets into it extremely quickly, will definitely immediately match your energy (and then some)
"doll, angel, pretty, cutie.." he's pulling out all the stops
loves teasing and going back and forth with you
criminal "yeah?" usage by him
the BEST at keeping eye contact, props up head with his hand just watching you talk
skinny, tipper, smokey, tab, etc are all definitely watching from a few tables away, intrigued and impressed, and very obviously
you notice and grin, "wanna give them a show?"
joe would never say no to that! so you just lean forward and kiss him, hand pulling his chin gently closer
and this man is already feral... the noises??? he has range and he's a little freaky, a little spurred on by a crowd, by his friends watching, shaking their heads, caught up into the moment
but ofc when you pull away, oh now he's shy... like he's so red
but make no mistake joe is definitely into it... very very into you
[carwood lipton]
lip feels so weird trying to flirt tbh
very much like, is this allowed?
not as like... alien as ron, more similar to dick in he's just a little, a lot, self conscious
but he's also so naturally personable and kind
and he attracts so many people naturally because of that
including you
talking in a group with a bunch of other soldiers with your friends, you're immediately drawn to him
you smiling at him definitely makes him feel more at ease
you definitely do have to encourage him to relax because he has a littleee trouble holding eye contact, looking down a lot
and then suddenly there’s another man staring at you, approaching you, and standing a little too close
and even though you don't know carwood, you're still looking at him silently for help
and ofc he's very observant of people and situations
so his hand snakes around the small of your back
and lip is naturally protective and careful, guiding you through the crowd
"my prince charming," you say and he of course blushes, muttering a small “maybe.”
"i hope so," you grin and lip can't help but smile too
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captainmera · 9 months
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ok but Caleb saying " I do not want to rob my son of his life" is heartbreaking.
It so bittersweet that he sees him like a son especially since he never got to meet his own child. I really love the scene where he gives hunter his cloak when he puts him to sleep, I think he would've been a good dad...
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The way I've written Caleb's fatherhood-ness is this:
He was a parental-figure brother to Philip, but he was a child himself when he started doing that. I am sure Caleb grew painfully aware that he wasn't equipped to take care of Philip; 'nor in maturity or ability, but what's the alternative? There isn't one. You do what you gotta do with the knowledge and power you have.
Which means he probably didn't raise Philip exemplarily. You can blame the adult-Caleb for not adjusting to it; but then you're asking him to control his brother with a whole new set of rules and reshape their set and working dynamic, which is easier said than done with a teenage little brother. And you cant really blame child-Caleb for not knowing better.
Caleb acts quickly on his fears or intuitions out of terror that things can escalate for the worse. He thinks he knows best because that's who he had to be, regardless of if he actually does knows best. He never had anyone to turn to, he just had to figure it out on the fly.
I think his worst bully is hindsight, and although he acts out of love (embraced by fear) he, too, can see retroactively that his actions are at best clumsy and at worst consequential.
Nobody's perfect, I don't think he would've been a perfect dad (just as there are no ideal person or people, people are just.. people! trying their best) But I do think he'd be a very loving one. And for someone like Hunter, I think that's pretty much all Hunter wished for.
But yes, I think Caleb, with the person he discovered himself to be in the BI, is someone who would do a good job as a dad. He does care, he does love. Even if it kind of comes out like a hiccup and a slap on the back that's a little too rough.
centuries of watching his doppelganger (sons) live their lives I'm sure he also picked up on a few things to advise them on. He's better on giving advise as an observer than being the one to interfere. (clearly)
But all in all, I think he is very proud of Hunter and already considers himself a father to him. Hunter is, technically, his flesh and blood.
My version of Caleb is a very flawed person. His fatherhood and continues attempt to be a martyr or take on all the load is.. also.. Reflective on the Noceda family trauma of losing Manny.
Luz and Camila both try to shoulder the burdens in the family. Wanting to be the one who makes life easier for the other.
Caleb sees and recognises this, especially in Camila. That's why he seemingly hold no qualms in laying out the hard cold cards for Luz the way he did in chapter Modern Times.
Anyway, I like Caleb. At least the way I write him. He's a little scatter-brained and wheezing, but dangit he's pulling the plot onwards. :'D
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Text
UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C
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*NOTE; propaganda is out of order due to poll length!
Eugenides Propaganda:
the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time
Harrowhark Propaganda:
She gave herself a lobotomy and gives completely incorrect flashbacks to the previous book. Things that straight up did not happen. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
She’s schizophrenic (confirmed by the author) and also lives in a world with necromancy and ghostly revenants. She’s not just an unreliable narrator for readers, she’s an unreliable narrator of her own internal experience. She knows this and has to work with people around her to compensate for it. Descent into spoilerville below. Seriously Do Not Read if you want to read these books. There’s also the little matter about how she is *not actually the narrator* of a huge chunk of the story that we are initially led to believe is being told from her perspective.
(Spoilers) Holy shit she is THE most unreliable narrator. This gremlin gave herself a lobotomy so that she could forget about Gideon Nav, the most important person in her life (for magic soul-preserving reasons) so half of the second book in the series is spent gaslighting the reader about a book they just read. She comes up with an entire alternate version of the events of the first book in the series to carefully exclude any mentions of Gideon, and any time someone says ‘Gideon’ in front of her she LITERALLY has a stroke and/or an intercranial hemorrhage as her brain overwrites the word with someone else’s name. God occasionally intentionally triggers her memory revision to get out of difficult conversations. She also hallucinates ALL the time (unrelated to the lobotomy). She shows up at her frenemy’s room in the middle of the night (think little kid stumbling to their parents’ room and saying “I frew up”) to ask her to come check underneath her bed for the corpse that’s been wandering the space station. When frenemy checks underneath the bed, frenemy claims not to see anything, and Harrow is such an unbelievably unreliable narrator that it’s an open question in the fandom as to whether frenemy genuinely didn’t see the corpse or if frenemy was just yanking Harrow’s chain. Harrow is also haunted by a literal ghost that fucks up her already fucked up alternate history. Girlie will pick up a piece of paper and read from it the most violent and haunting piece of prose ever composed, when in reality all that’s written on the paper is the elementary school Superman S*. I am NOT joking that is a real goddamn scene. Harrow was created to win this poll. TLDR; she has brain damage and memory loss, she hallucinates, and is also haunted. * https://twitter.com/vestenet/status/1301012651145859072
Girl is so unreliable, she unreliably tells me events I was there for!!! She's retelling the previous book and I'm like "girlie, this is absolutely not how it happened". Also, she gave herself a DIY lobotomy, it has to impact your memory center I guess
She literally had a lobotomy, how can she be reliable
More Propaganda under cut!
Harrowhark is simply the unreliable narrator of all time. Can’t remember shit because of a lifetime of trauma? Check. Maybe lying to yourself and those around you a bit? Most definitely. Being gaslit by the survivors you depend on to orient you to reality? For sure. How about a little bit of canon schizophrenia? She’s got it all. Ghosts? Or something? Spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are not perceivable by others? Sure, sure! But how about spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are gonna use you to hijack others’ bodies and maybe kill God, too? Absolutely. Wee bit of DIY brain surgery? If it would make you an unreliable narrator, friends, then Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been there, been subjected to that!
Okay I don't know that much about this series since I haven't convinced myself to read all of the first book, but this is my blorbo in law so I'd feel bad not spreading propaganda (all of what I'm saying is something I've read, as to prevent myself from straight up submitting misinformation). So all of Harrow's unreliable narration takes place in the second book, Harrow the Ninth. Basically, without her even seemingto acknowledge it, Harrow's brain is very fucked up during this book, to the point where even she's not sure how reliable her narrative is. There's many questions left unclear as a result of her fucked up little brain, like what's real, what's fake, whether we can trust her judgement, whether even she can trust her own judgement, whether her original cavalier is dead or not (Harrow is convinced she is), etc. Let me tell you, I adore unreliable narrators who aren't even that sure if they're reliable. I have yet to eat that trope up here in this circumstance, but this poll might not run again by the time I do, so for now, here's my messed up blorbo in law.
OKAY SO REMEMBER MY GIDEON SUBMISSION? HARROW DOESN’T! SPOILERS AHEAD BECAUSE SHE LOBOTOMIZED HERSELF TO FORGET GIDEON BECAUSE THAT’S A HEALTHY WAY TO GRIEVE AND THEN IN THE ONLY PARTS OF HER BOOK THAT SHE NARRATES (THE REVISED CANAAN HOUSE PARTS) IT’S LITERALLY A ROOM FULL OF GHOSTS HER BRAIN SUMMONED TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SHE CUT HER BRAIN IN HALF TO FORGET GIDEON. she also is a) haunted and b) psychotic, experiencing hallucinations her entire life of both the ghosts haunting her and less supernatural hallucinations- bells tolling, bones rattling, her parents (some of the only dead people NOT haunting her), etc! in the revised history of canaan house that her brainghosts invent, she brings along someone who knows about her psychosis to help reality check her when she tells him go! her caregiver as a child and support when she got older, crux, is a horrible man- but at one point, when someone other than harrow is in harrow’s body and tells him “i am not harrowhark, i am sorry,” his response is simply “aye, you’ve said that before too. who are you then, if not my lady harrowhark?” showing his familiarity with her psychosis and his love for the child he wouldn’t dare see as a daughter. but enough about that lets talk about her unreliable narration! she lies about her feelings of course but she also simply hides the truth from everyone, all the time, compulsively. also literally the entire section of her book that she narrates is a lie she’s telling US about a lie she’s telling HERSELF and no one understands even a little bit of the truth until like the last act of the book. queen.
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genericpuff · 5 months
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Hello, brazilian anon here! So I have been following criticisms of LO for a while now, and Psyche and Eros caught my attention in special, because their relationship is legit a racist trope commonly applied to indigenous people: Woman of color is put in a arranged marriage or pressured into marrying a guy from her village/tribe but "falls in love" with a white dude who "saves" her from her abusive and "uncivilized" family. Think of Disney's Pocahontas. This trope is commonly used to dehumanize non-european/anglo-saxon cultures and portray them as barbaric, and is rooted in colonialism and its direct heir, imperialism, as a means for colonizers to justify and sugarcoat raping and forcing women of color to marry them. So not a good look for Rachel.
OH YEAH IT IS
(you just opened Pandora's Box by mentioning Pocahontas around me LMAO)
It's even more egregious when you consider how Rachel changed the original myth from Psyche undergoing trials on her own to her ... being turned into a nymph servant for Aphrodite. Like huh. Is that really your final draft, Rachel? Have you thought this through?
I made a very spicy post about this like a year and a half ago and honestly I think it's still worth talking about because it's incredibly telling that Psyche had her entire story uprooted and replaced with a version where she's transformed into a non-POC character to disguise herself as a servant to a woman who's already racist towards nymphs. It's got that issue of "take the black character and transform them into an animal/other being that isn't black so that we don't have to have a black character onscreen for more than 10 minutes."
And yeah, you can tell how much Rachel is absentmindedly taking from Disney without challenging what those stories were portraying or asking deeper questions to get to the heart of their messaging. Pocahontas is rightfully panned for being a very white-washed version of a story that was written in the blood shed by Native Americans at the hands of colonizers. "Pocahontas" herself, even, was not some independent native woman who fell in love with the "one good white guy" on the boat, she was a teenage girl, whose life was spared but made worse when she was forced to travel overseas to be used as a prop to justify their continued actions in murdering and colonizing the "savages" overseas; she was then forced into marriage and had to carry the children of her captors, all while being treated as an exotic spectacle by the people around her who would undoubtedly kill her at the first sign of disobedience.
Her name was Matoaka. Her life and story is not something that should be romanticized. It's a tragedy and much of what instigated it is still alive and well today. She only lived to be 21.
I don't know if Rachel intentionally referenced or ripped off Pocahontas in Lore Olympus the same way she clearly has with Hercules and Beauty and the Beast. But it's incredibly telling in how she treats the racial divide between nymphs and gods and how she's twisted the Eros x Psyche myth into what it is that even if she did watch Pocahontas, she probably never realized how problematic it is at its core in the way that it's told.
In the original myth, Psyche is a woman who's meant to represent the fickleness of vanity - the loneliness it can make one feel to be admired and not truly loved, and the destruction that can be brought about in jealousy - and her pursuit in finding genuine love in Eros, a journey she travels alone, thematically with the rest of the story.
In Lore Olympus, she's an illiterate woman of color whose only purpose is to be Eros' wife, robbed of all agency so that she can be a trophy for him to earn, a test for him to pass. It's boring and really icky when you really peel back the layers of it with Psyche's character design in mind. Even when she finally does get more agency in her task to bring down Apollo - or at the very least, keep an eye on him - it's still at the behest of Zeus who gives her immortality not as a reward for overcoming the trials she set out to pass, but so she can be his errand boy. So once again she's not capable of doing anything motivated by her own best interests (especially when she already knows how dangerous Apollo is, why is she the one who has to follow this guy around?)
So yeah, no, not a good look at all LMAO
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sunderwight · 9 days
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crack scum villain theory: there is no "original" Shang Qinghua
how this works is, neither the world of SV nor the world of PIDW actually existed in any tangible sense before Airplane died. Airplane dying was actually the catalyst for the system, and whatever unfathomable cosmic entities are behind it, to recreate the world from the novel. that's why Airplane transmigrates into an infant, and also why the world mostly follows canon up until Airplane interacts too much with actual plot-relevant characters, and accidentally butterfly effects Shen Jiu into a fatal qi deviation. At which point the system determines that a dead Shen Qingqiu makes fulfilling the basic story requirements impossible or at least dangerously low in terms of odds, and brings in the second play (User 002, Shen Yuan).
SY is able to earn more points from the system than Airplane, but that's mostly thanks to his proximity to the protagonist not actual preferential treatment, and he seems to have more concrete restrictions on his behavior and limits on his mobility (OOC lock, entering into an already-established character, and of course being forced to ensure that Luo Binghe goes into the Endless Abyss) (this does make it ironic that he ultimately changes the most things). whereas Airplane seems to have more freedom to do as he pleases. the system doesn't even seem to dock him points for accidentally contributing to the death of a vitally plot-relevant character.
so the SV world was originally supposed to more or less just be the same as the PIDW world. it didn't change to any significant degree until Shen Jiu died.
I suspect, then, that the PIDW world which followed canon didn't exist as any kind of separate reality until Shen Jiu died of a fatal qi deviation and had to be replaced. at which point the system -- perhaps hedging its bets -- created two splintered timelines. one being the original sandbox for Airplane to play in and continue to alter, the other being a manufactured reflection of the story's original outcome, possibly to serve as some kind of emergency back-up character bank or reference outline.
which means that the PIDW version of this reality isn't a full and cohesive world. though of course the people there don't know that. it's mostly just a tool for the system, which is why we first encounter Bingge being utilized as an enforcer. Bingge and everyone else who exists in the PIDW reality, they all remember their past as the story and are at the end point of what Airplane had written, but none of it actually happened. they instead sprang into existence at their narrative end point.
since the Shang Qinghua of Airplane's novel died well before the end of the story, characters in the PIDW have various recollections of a "Shang Qinghua" and his death, but they are vague and ultimately do not reflect the tangible events of a world the way that the SV timeline does. they are artificial memories based on a story. PIDW Shen Jiu likewise never really existed, although SV Shen Jiu did. similarly, all the history of the SV world that supposedly happened before Shang Qinghua was born never actually happened either. that's all constructed as well, which means that in a weird kind of a way, no one in the world can actually be older than Shang Qinghua either. they can only have manufactured memories that give them that impression. which means Airplane is the oldest being in that entire universe. he'd even be older than his own parents, because they were created to be his parents the moment he was born.
so there's no other Shang Qinghua. everything prior to Airplane's transmigration in the SV world and prior to the last PIDW chapter in the PIDW world is like when a video game designer seeds a dungeon with a skeleton and a bunch of notes about how some lone adventurer got lost and died there. at no point in the game was there ever actually a live adventurer in place of that skeleton.
that's "original" Shang Qinghua. he doesn't exist, because in one reality he's only ever been a version of Airplane, and in another he's a skeleton in a video game dungeon.
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celluloidbroomcloset · 6 months
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I have been considering narratives again...
There's an interesting progression in "Wherever You Go," from the scene of Stede at the pub to the scene between Ed and Izzy, as both Ed and Stede become increasingly trapped in stories that have the potential to destroy them, by men who don't understand them.
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In the scene at the pub, Stede begins by asking for attention, but almost immediately balks when he receives it, thinking it is going to be used to harm him. He speaks to a man he hasn't spoken to since he was a child, and receives, for a moment, the accolades from other men that he's craved in the past. But almost immediately, he's drawn into telling a story, one that becomes increasingly detached from reality and that ultimately sends him into a spiral.
When Stede responds to a question about Blackbeard with "he's absolutely lovely," the men are disappointed. And Stede, desperate for attention, goes on: "...oh, and of course, a bloodthirsty killer, born of the devil. But I don't really like talking about him..."
Stede doesn't trust what he might say if he talks more about "Blackbeard," but he's already done damage to himself by narrating Ed back into the caricature that Ed so soundly rejected.
The statement is quickly followed by another man asking if he's ever killed anyone, and then doubting that he has. The story breaks. Stede's voice even changes, shifting from a bombastic, over-Anglicized accent to his regular voice, as though he were coming back to himself. And he doesn’t lie or tell a story:
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"I've seen death. I've been the cause of death. It changes you. Forever."
Where he began the show wanting to change piracy from a "culture of abuse," the men of his own culture admire him for having been steeped in death. They want to know if Blackbeard is truly a monster, and are disappointed if he's not. They want Stede to be a killer, and mock him if he isn't.
Stede's drunkenness melts into self-loathing. He's been bought drinks for being a killer and for telling a story about Ed's violence, turning Ed, whom he last saw running off to find a boat to begin their new life together, into the monstrous caricature again. He knows the power that stories have over people and he’s now participating in transforming a man that he knows is kind and gentle and loving, who probably gave him his first truly loving kiss, back into an inhuman murderer.
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The scene transitions into Izzy's attack on Ed, from Ed attempting to clean up the cabin and chat, to the caricature of Blackbeard, and finally the echoes of the crew, Stede's crew, calling for Edward. Izzy is a more explicit version of the underlying violence in the pub scene - the pressure on Ed to perform as Blackbeard, because "Edward better watch his fucking step."
The Blackbeard caricature itself works in tandem with Stede's description of Ed - from "he's absolutely lovely," a man in a dressing gown, grieving the loss of the man he loves, to "a bloodthirsty killer, born of the devil." Izzy is forcing Ed back into the caricature with threats and psychological abuse; Stede himself has narrated Ed into Blackbeard as he seeks the approval of men he barely knows. He has lied about who Ed is in order to better fit the story others want him to tell.
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Both men are pushed into a spiral by vicious remarks that hit at the cores of their fears and insecurities. Both are threatened, or perceive that they're threatened, with physical violence - Izzy by getting into Ed's face, an act which we've seen produces a snap defensiveness, and Stede later when Doug grabs his shoulder.
I've written before how the potential of Stede's "Kraken" version of himself is shown and then shifted away from, when he's able to talk to Mary. But his descent is characterized by the lies he tells about Ed and the visceral memory of what real violence and death is. He’s trapped in the story of an aristocratic man who became a violent pirate, fought Izzy Hands, and knew Blackbeard, the bloodthirsty killer. And he knows that’s not his story at all. What he can tell Mary later is a story about love—a man whose name is Ed. He steps back into the right narrative.
Ed does not have a Mary. His descent only deepens, as he transforms himself into the caricature Izzy shoved in his face, trying (and ultimately failing) to shear away all the soft and gentle parts of himself to better fit the narrative, just as Stede does briefly in the pub and then at the gallery. The one thing he cannot destroy is his love for Stede.
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Both Stede and Ed have been entrapped by the narratives around them—the gentleman pirate, the bloodthirsty killer. It’s when Stede gains control of his own story again that he becomes honest and sees himself, and is able to go back to sea to continue his authentic narrative, released from the stories with which others attempted to entrap him.
Ed still has to take over his own narrative. He can no longer see beyond the Kraken that he's been told is the only way he can exist, even as his love and his grief speak against it. The softness of his emotions are incompatible with the story he has to live. Unable to fit himself into that narrative, he decides to die instead, and solidify the story of the bloodthirsty killer. But his death allows him to face himself, and hear the stories he tells himself, and decide which of those stories he wants to manifest. Part of Stede’s role in season 2 is not to free Ed, but to help him free himself, to assure him that he’s loved for all that he is, and is not the story that others, including Stede himself, tell about him.
(gif by @llokilaufeyson)
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hobiebrownismygod · 8 months
Text
Did Hobie Brown give up his mask/identity as Spider-punk? - ATSV Analysis
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from @benio on TikTok ⬆️
During Miguel's speech, we see some of the spiders looking at either their past or future events, and we see Peter's wedding (past), Gwen digging herself out of her grave (future), Jess escaping rubble (unknown) and we also see Hobie looking at his canon event, which was giving up his mask and his identity as Spider-punk.
So its completely plausible that like Gwen's canon event, this is one of Hobie's upcoming canon events, where he'll end up giving up his mask later on. However, I like to think that he had given up his mask prior to ATSV for the following reason:
Hobie wasn't supposed to be in Mumbattan during ATSV
youtube
The scene in ATSV where Miles was invisibly watching Gwen talking to Jess and Lyla actually has a second deleted version. This deleted scene was similar, except instead of talking to Jess and Lyla, Gwen was talking to Miguel and various other high-level spider people.
A/N: I know this scene was deleted so it can't really be considered canon, but JUST HEAR ME OUT
While they're talking about Gwen's mistake and Spot's presence in Mumbattan, Hobie's name is mentioned (1:58).
Gwen: "He took time off"
Miguel: "Yeah because he doesn't believe in institutions, or teams. Lyla can't even find him"
Gwen: "He gave me a way to contact him"
At this part in time, prior to his introduction to ATSV, Hobie was not technically a part of the Spider Society. Nobody except for Gwen, not even Lyla, had any way to contact him.
So we've already established that people in the Spider Society usually catch anomalies or are assigned missions to do so, as being a part of the Spider Society would probably mean being willing to work as a team and contribute to the community. If you want to look more into this, @the-cat-and-the-birdie has a really cool post where they explain their views on how the Spider Society works, and I'm kind of going off on that.
If Hobie left, it would mean that he wasn't completing these missions anymore, didn't want to be a part of the community and didn't want anyone to be able to contact him about these missions or anything Spider-man related, unless it was Gwen, who he probably only gave contact information to because she's homeless and doesn't have anywhere to stay, and its been established that she stays with him sometimes.
So why did he leave?
My guess? He experienced an extremely traumatic canon event that led to him deciding to give up his mask. He was so angry at Miguel and the Spider Society for allowing this canon event to happen, that he cut off ties from the community, severed all connections with other spider-people and stayed put in his own universe, only giving Gwen his contact information.
And in this time he "took off", he began to devise his plan to wreak havoc in the Spider Society, and create his own watch. This would explain why he was so quick to help and support Miles, and why he already had watches available for both Gwen and the rest of the Spider-team to use.
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The watch he gives Gwen also has the writing "Project Bootleg" written on it.
Bootleg:
the illegal manufacture, distribution, or sale of goods, especially alcohol or recordings.
Hobie already had a plan for what he was going to do. He had already created Project Bootleg to infiltrate the Spider Society himself, and Miles' interjection became Hobie's reveal.
Now to tie back to the first point I made, that Hobie wasn't supposed to be in Mumbattan during ATSV:
The rest of the Spiders were shown coming in through portals, whether it was Miguel's entrance in the beginning of the movie, Gwen's entrance to Miles' room, or even Jess's entrance in Mumbattan where the giant spider-ship came through a portal in the sky. Hobie, Gwen, Miles and Jess were even shown using a portal to get into the Spider Society after leaving Mumbattan. However...we never see Hobie enter Mumbattan through a portal.
He just appeared. But Pavitr was surprised, so there was no way that Hobie had already been in Mumbattan before, and since Jess and Lyla didn't have his location, there was no way that they could have contacted Hobie to come help Gwen fight Spot. So how did he get there?
We have a LOT of unanswered questions about Hobie. He's a complete mystery, from his backstory, to his universe, and to his place in the Spider Society. While the other members are shown as contributors to the Spider Society who all know each other, i.e. Gwen and Jess greeting the Peters in HQ while Hobie doesn't acknowledge any of them and vice versa, Hobie isn't shown having any kind of interaction with any of the Spider Society members except for Gwen and Pav. We know that he knows the other members, because Jess, Peter and Miguel know him by name, but we don't know his place in the Spider Society and we don't know what he does. This is why I think he left the Spider Society. Because if he was still a part of it, the interactions he had with the people in it would've been different. The way he acted in the HQ, his attitude, everything, would've probably been different if he actually was a part of it or even helped out in some way.
Summary, because this analysis was kind of all over the place:
I think that Hobie quit being spider-man before the events of ATSV because of a traumatic canon event. I think he lost someone or something very close to him, and because of that he cut himself off from the Spider Society. I think he blamed the idea of canon events for what happened and that he wants to help Miles save his dad and break his canon because he thinks that by doing this, he's making up for not being able to break his own canon. I think he's been planning this Project Bootleg for a while before Miles showed up and he decided Miles would be the perfect reveal for his plan and he'd use it to prove that canon events can be broken, and that what happened was wrong.
Poor guy.
A/N:
I think this HC overall would be a cool concept for fanfic writers to focus on in their stories, because I've seen a lot of stories where reader/oc was Hobie's canon event, but very few of these go into depth about what his reaction to reader/oc's death would be and how that would impact his identity as Spider-man and his involvement with the Spider Society afterwards. If you do decide to write it, tag me in it! I'd love to read your fanfictions! <3
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essycogany · 19 days
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Why Sonic Prime Shouldn’t Be Canon
There will be 0 disrespect to anyone involved in this post.
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Introduction
Think whatever you want to think and make your own conclusions after reading this. Prime is an entertaining show. This is only for whoever wonders why I talk about this show a certain way. Yes, the consistency in the franchise is already shattered to pieces, (no pun intended) but the excuse implies the mistakes in the past shouldn’t be improved upon. Making things worst doesn’t fix anything. Also, give the franchise a little credit, there’s more obvious reasons to believe this show isn’t canon then stuff in the games and IDW.
Why Are We Told Prime Is Canon
1. The writer for the games/comics and the director stated Prime was canon. I assume in order to sell the show and make it seem more important than it is. That’s not even an insult because so far, Prime impacts nothing in canon.
Ian Flynn: “It doesn’t matter, b/c Prime wipes itself out. It’s something after Advance 3, but otherwise, it’s moot. I didn’t want to sour anyone’s expectations or investment by spoiling how Prime resolves, that’s all. If you enjoyed it, awesom. Savor it. If you didn’t, then you can safely ignore it. Simple as that.”
2. While I don’t remember who said this, it’s also been stated Prime went through changes. It was originally meant to be written as its own thing and hilariously ended up feeling less canon because of this change. Which you’ll probably notice in a bit. Long story short Sonic Prime, like the movies and shows, is a disposable adaptation you can love or hate.
3. Aside from Sonic and Shadow, you aren’t able to spend enough time with the OG cast or world, so you’d need to know and understand them outside of Prime. Which debatably isn’t enough, but that’s a can of worms I feel plenty have already opened up, so I’ll only simplify it later. In the end, the show never gets time to establish itself in the OG world. Which has a terrible impact on the writing, but let’s move on.
Side Note: No, the shatterverse crew don’t count in my opinion. While they are similar to the OGs they are still their own characters with separate personalities and issues in their own worlds. They are similar, but not the same.
Evidence
Prime feels more like an origin story without the continuity of the games.
Example 1: Green Hill is Sonic and his friend’s home. Despite the games and IDW have them live everywhere that isn’t Green Hill. Classic timeline included. They barely talk about the place. I recommend watching “Where The Heck Does Sonic Live?” on YouTube. If you want the short of it, I’ll explain a few points and add my own as well.
Here’s most of the different homes these characters lived in.
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Station Square, the Mystic Ruins, Emerald Town, and others use to be homes they stayed in and they’re never mentioned. It’s like they put the modern cast into the classic timeline. Which still had them not live in Green Hill. Heck, Shadow, Rouge, and Big are shown in Green Hill too and they didn’t even exist during the classic era.
This is how Green Hill is seen in IDW.
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Sure looks like people use to live in this place. Sarcasm aside, Green Hill either wasn’t special enough for them to keep living in or they never lived there before and this was conjured up because Green Hill is constantly used in the games.
Even people who knows the bare minimum about Sonic lore would understand how baloney this is. Especially since Sonic and the gang has been established to be found in other places. Which is shown in the Origin cutscenes. They don’t clarify in the show who exactly lives in Green Hill and who doesn’t. They treat it like everyone’s home. Shows how much we know about these characters within Sonic Prime, doesn’t it?
Example 2: No other group of Sonic characters, locations, or worlds are ever mentioned/referenced. In Prime the blue blur meeting Chaos!Sonic should’ve reminded him of Metal!Sonic, but he talks as if he’s never seen another version of himself in his life. “Is that a… knock off me?” The lack of robot knowledge in this show is crazy when given more errors.
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“Robots without flickies? Now that’s new.” I believe everyone knows how false this line is. Also, Orbot and Cubot doesn’t exist until Colors. (though Orbot is in Unleashed) Which is a problem because Prime is suppose to take place directly after Advanced. Which had several games before Colors. Where they didn’t exist.
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Example 3: The OG cast though similar, still have their differences.
Big: He’s treated like a core member of the team when he’s not in anything else. Bro doesn’t even get much to do or say at all. He’s just there for the most part.
Knuckles: He meets Sonic in a completely different setting then in actual canon and doesn’t seem to live on Angel Island for some reason. At least not by what was shown.
Eggman: Still relatively fine, but teaming up with anyone even himself never turns out well. He usually doesn’t care for sharing his spotlight.
Rouge: Same thing as Big besides Dream Team. In the games/comics she usually does her own thing. And is also more sneaky and unpredictable while Prime shows off her more leadership side. She’s kind of half and half in the same to different category.
Tails: Surprisingly more closed off then usual and almost seems to switch sides with Sonic in the personality department. Emotionally that is.
Amy: She’s more of a motherly figure than anything else. Amy’s bird friend is pink instead of blue like in SA1. They also treat it like it’s always been with her but hasn’t. She’s also incredibly calm and collected compared to how she was during the 2000s. The time the Advance games where coming out. She was written pretty differently to say the least.
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Not to mention one line in the entire show is the only indication of Amy’s crush on Sonic. It was implied not shown.
Sonic: He’s almost treated as an amalgamation of different variations before him. Except it’s his first time getting into an issue he isn’t ready to handle. Because he caused it. On top of that, this guy also carries most of his friends emotional traits. Amys’ excitement, Tails’ saddens, and Knuckles’ anger. Here’s why.
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Prime!Sonic seems to be naturally affectionate then in canon since he hugs almost everyone in it. He’s also more emotionally triggered, childish, and inexperience while Game!Sonic isn’t. And has never been shown to be either. Not even in the IDW comics or games with Classic!Sonic. A younger version of him. Don’t get me started on the differences to the 2000 games like Advanced. Game!Sonic then was more introverted while Prime!Sonic is very extroverted. He also panics a bunch. As if he’s not use to terrible things happening frequently.
He can be very wimpy and whiny when it comes to confrontations. Which was never a thing before in any other media. At least not to the point where he’s begging and pleading to people over and over again. I’ll even admit this Sonic isn’t the smartest either. He’s the Sonic you’d be the most convinced to believe is a teenage boy. Besides Movie!Sonic.
Of course Prime!Sonic is still Sonic, but he’s as much of a Sonic as every other version of him. He’s not the same guy who use to not be a fan of hugs. Who can deal with atrocities without freaking out once. The character who hasn’t even officially cried up to this point. Who is just now starting to open up and is still having trouble with it. The silly hedgehog isn’t too out of character but is enough to not be called the same character. Sure, Sonic’s characterization is inconsistent in the games, but I’d say the 2010s is less out of character and more one noted. He at least carries these traits even if not written well.
- The “sentimental” line in S1 Ep6 is one of the few out of character things he says. Even if the blue blur thought this, he’d never say it out loud.
Shadow: He’s the best written character in the show. Not to mention the most accurate to how he is in canon. Even compared to some of the games and comics. He’s the true MVP of Sonic Prime and has the most common sense. I only hate how he’s literally pushed to the curve in every season. And how Shadow’s backstory is never referenced. Only implied by Sonic screaming his name when he plummets to his doom. But I’d argue that’s more so because Shadow is the last person left who isn’t implied to be dead. Sure, it reminds people of SA2, but that’s all it really is. A reminder not a direct reference.
I will clarify I don’t dislike the show for being different. I dislike the show calling itself canon despite it’s differences.
Conclusion
I know Prime “wipes itself out” but the original world doesn’t have the same continuity of the games either. The established world and lore in Prime is barely connected to the Games due to the writing, so wiping the shatterverse out doesn’t help. These may be small details but if you’re a person who might be interested in getting into the fandom it becomes small details that makes big differences.
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I’m not saying if you think the show is canon you’re wrong. Actually you are 100% correct. It’s been confirmed multiple times and the deed was already done. I just don't think it should be. Does it really matter? It depends on what you think. Is Sonic Prime being canon a bad thing? I’d say yes and no. While I don’t think it was the best move, as long as Sonic Prime exists on its own, there’s nothing to worry about. Prime being canon isn’t a crime. It just makes no sense. I’ll leave it at that.
Stay Creative! 💜
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soulsforscrapbooks · 8 months
Text
How the Dracula Stage Play Influenced Future Adaptations
So I wanted to let people know about the stage adaptation of Dracula, because it established a lot of tropes that have come to define the novel as well as vampire fiction in general, despite the fact that large changes were made when bringing the book to the stage. Sometimes, honestly, it seems like more adaptations pull from the play than the book. Okay:
The original stage adaptation of Dracula was written in 1897 by Stoker himself! Here you can see the manuscript in his own hand:
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Apparently he hated how it turned out, because he called it “dreadful” and it was performed only once and then never again. The role of Mina was played by Edith Craig, a well-known figure in the suffragist movement and the daughter of Ellen Terry, Stoker's friend, whom he mentions in the book. The next attempt at adapting the novel would not be until the 1920s, after Stoker had died.
The 1924 adaptation by Hamilton Deane stays fairly close to the events of the novel. Some key points:
The entirety of the action takes place in the Harkers' house
Mina and Jonathan are already married
Dracula is already in England, and the storyline involving Jonathan as a prisoner of the Count has been omitted
To accommodate the female members of his theater troupe, Quincy is now a woman! Her name is still Quincy, and she is described as “feisty,” and is a close friend of Jonathan and Mina. (There don’t seem to be any photos from the 1924 play, sadly.)
It is in this first major adaptation that the idea of the Count as suave and debonair is brought into existence. This change is to allow Dracula to interact more easily onstage with the other characters, whereas in the book he stays an offscreen threat for large amounts of time. This is also the first instance of Dracula wearing a high-collared pointy cape, which was originally done to hide the actor better whenever Dracula had to “disappear” through trapdoors. 
Here is Raymond Huntley as Dracula in the 1924 stage adaptation:
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The play was a success, and quickly moved to Broadway:
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This version, adapted by John Balderston, was a complete revision not just from the book but from the 1924 stage play, and a LOT of changes were made:
Quincy, Arthur, and MINA have been removed from the story. Mina is mentioned as having died mysteriously before the play takes place.
Jonathan’s relationship to Dracula has been completely removed. He is not involved with bringing the Count to England at all. He is also now wealthy, and has traveled Europe extensively, where he has heard folktales about vampires.
Lucy is now engaged to Jonathan, and her last name is now Lucy Seward. This is because……..
John Seward has been aged up and is now Lucy’s father. 
The action takes place at Seward’s house/asylum.  
Renfield is allowed to just sort of…wander around Seward’s house when the plot requires him to be there. He gets dragged away by attendants whenever he needs to be offstage. He also survives. 
The Broadway version also made large changes in characterization:
Lucy is weak and feeble when we meet her in the play. She is helplessly preyed upon by Dracula, and yet is sexually tempted by him when under a trance. She and Dracula share a passionate kiss at the end of Act II, right before she willingly exposes her neck for him to bite. 
Jonathan is still concerned for Lucy as she is slowly turned, but he is more wary of her and goes along willingly with Van Helsing’s ideas regardless of how Lucy feels.
Renfield is portrayed as actively malicious, through fearful and subservient to the Count. 
Seward is seen as a strong-willed father who leads his asylum with a firm and confident hand. He believes Van Helsing more readily when confronted with the existence of vampires.
Dracula himself is once again depicted as charming and suave, and he spends time during the first act as a mysterious but pleasant dinner guest of the Sewards.
Despite these massive revisions, the Broadway version was a hit, partially to due the charisma of Bela Lugosi, who originated the role. (Below is Bela Lugosi as Dracula along with Seward, Van Helsing, Jonathan Harker, and Renfield on the floor:)
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Bela Lugosi, of course would go on to star in the 1931 film adaptation. Other famous stage Draculas include Jeremy Brett and Frank Langella (Langella's revival would also give us this amazing Edward Gorey art:)
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So we can see that the stage plays influenced many versions that would later come, as well as the idea of vampires in pop culture at large. It’s interesting how the motifs and themes we expect when we hear the word “Dracula” were actually the creation of people besides the author, and these differences don't seem to have been majorly disputed in the last 100 years. Has this happened with other classic novels? I'm not sure, but I'd love to see an accurate adaptation of Dracula in stage or film form, and see how it might influence filmmakers and directors for the future.
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yuri-is-online · 2 months
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i’ve got this picture of Yutu being kind of artsy from your description. besides, being an outcast probably means a lot of solo hobbies from no friends. maybe a bonding method for Yutus with a father that is more artistic 👉👈
You have such a good point about being an outcast driving people towards solo hobbies σ( ̄、 ̄=) certain Yutus are more outgoing than others but that does only get you so far.  Of the ones I have written about, Floyd! and Cater! Yutu both had friend circles before coming to Twisted Wonderland, while Ace!, Azul!, and Riddle! Yutu were certifiably friendless.  Bonding between Yutu and a more artistic dad hmmmmm let's see...
notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is part of my fyuuture kid au, you can find an explanation of it here and here, or look at my masterlist for all of the posts.
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Vil! Yutu
... really likes to paint and draw, when I first wrote about him his unique magic involved temporarily bringing his paintings to life.  My brother used to dig through old fashion mags when he was teaching himself to draw and I can see Yutu doing the same.  So when he finally gets to see a not tortured version of his father and finds out he is a model on top of being an actor?  He's so eager to learn about all of it, and Vil has got to be thrilled to share.  You know between him and his own dad Vil has got to have a nice collection of vintage designer items he's willing to let Yutu have a look at.  Yutu has drawn his dad a lot, receiving a drawing someone has made for you is already beyond flattering, but when it's from a family member?  Forget the fridge, Vil is getting this framed.  I can also see him maybe commissioning Yutu because he wants to make sure he never under sells his work.  He is a member of the Schoenheit family, he is allowed, nay required to have a great deal of pride in himself.
Cater! Yutu
... likes playing guitar and he loves playing with his dad.  He's not really interested in playing with the other pop music club members, Yutu is a bit shy around his dad's friends.  When he's stressed he likes to play a few songs and sing, something I could see working for Cater too.  While I'm talking about Cater, I don't think he'd make a bunch of magicam posts about his family, just in general.  He uses magicam as a way of maintaining his false happy facade, his want to date Vil comes at least partially from his presence on magicam, some of his real self is on display there sure but a lot of it is exaggerated and fake.  When he has something real he wants to keep it away from the rest of the world, so while his followers absolutely are told he's #taken #blessed they don't know about the details of his relationship.  At least not if it's a healthy one.
Jade! Yutu
... is someone I haven't written about before but he is also very into music, just not jazz music.  Not that he hates jazz, he's just stuck in that teenage phase of refusing to admit the things his dad likes are cool, something Jade reasonably “sniffles” about but that's not to say music isn't a bonding point for them.  He also plays bass, just an electric not an upright one, and Jade enjoys listening to Yutu play.  He's very supportive and surprisingly soft in his praise for someone who just got done listening to his kid scream out a punk rock song.  As long as Yutu is willing to do some hiking with him (which he is) then he has no real problem with what his kid likes, if anything I can see Jade enjoying their differences.  Life is boring if everyone is the same.
Rook! Yutu
I've been thinking about Rook, just as a character recently and one of those things that's been stuck in my mind is that he was very shy as a child.  To keep this from becoming just general information about Rook! Yutu, unlike his father Yutu never got over his shyness, so a lot of their bonding revolves around Rook encouraging Yutu to see the beauty in himself.  He books tickets to shows, symphonies, and ballets in advance so he can make sure Yutu knows when they are going out and can prepare himself to be seen in public.  They plan their outfits together in advance, look up information about the company and what they are going to see so they can appreciate the art just that much more.  On the day of Rook makes sure to kiss Yuu goodbye,  and promises to come home safe.  But not to worry, he always has Yutu help him pick out a bouquet of flowers to bring back for you.  (Unless you're allergic to pollen in which case he'll bring home something else.)
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absolutewhore101 · 4 months
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Better Man - Chapter 5
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A/N: here's chapter 5! taglist is being updated with every post, so lmk if you want to be added/removed. i'm looking to do updates every monday, so stay tuned :)
Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: Listen to 'Better Man' by Taylor Swift; Stage 3 - bargaining (kind of)
Warnings: swearing, Joel
Word Count: 1.4K
Chapter 4 / Chapter 6
This is a journal entry.
MINORS DNI
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The stairs leading up to your bedroom had never felt so tiresome, but you were dragging yourself up by the time you reached the top. 
That fight never should have happened. Carly never should’ve happened. Joel never should have happened. All you needed was the reassurance that you did the right thing, but who could you even go to?
You were sure that the people you’d come to call friends almost certainly knew about Joel, and none of them had told you. 
You couldn’t talk to Tommy, that much was obvious. You thought about talking to Ellie, but even if she did know, this wasn’t her problem. 
Was it only you? Were you truly the last person to know?
You sat down on the edge of your bed, staring at the wall in front of you. Your thoughts were running a mile a minute, all of them focused on Joel. 
How could he have done this? There was nothing you could’ve done to stop him once he started, but wasn’t there something you could’ve done to prevent it?
Why weren’t you enough?
A tear dropped off the bottom of your chin, landing delicately on your hand. 
You reached into your nightstand, pulling out the notebook you’d had for a few months. That journal was the only thing you felt truly comfortable sharing everything with after you found out about Joel. 
You fished around for a pen, but came up empty. Walking past Ellie’s room, you peeked in, finding her gone. 
You shook your head, assuming she had never come home in the first place, as you made your way downstairs.
Walking into the kitchen felt more painful than it should’ve - Joel’s coffee mug was on the counter, rings stained around the inside of it. The book he’d been reading left on the table, bookmarked to the page he'd left off on. 
You walked past all of it and went to the junk drawer, grabbing a pen and heading into the living room. 
You sat down on the couch, pulling your feet up underneath you, and started writing. 
I know…
You paused. 
What did you know?
I know that I’m probably better off on my own. Better off than loving a man who didn’t know what he had when he had it.
You wiped your face, willing your bottom lip to stop trembling. 
You flipped back through the pages you’d already written in, rereading the words you’d spilled when you started to suspect Joel was cheating on you. 
It was easy to see the permanent damage that he’d done to you. You weren’t sure you’d ever find love in the world after it ended, and you were certain you’d never find it again. 
And then you flipped back even further, back to the hearts and doodles and the love you’d needed so badly to get out. 
Why couldn’t you just forget when it was magic? When everything was okay?
There were so many thoughts swirling around in your mind, but you couldn’t bring yourself to put them on paper. Instead, you placed your journal on the coffee table and went back upstairs, heading straight to the bathroom. 
You splashed some water on your face, hoping to rid yourself of the redness that occupied your cheeks.
“You know you had to do it.” You muttered. 
God, why did it have to be like this? You used to be curled up in bed with Joel by this point, whispering sweet words to each other until you fell asleep. 
Now, it was the middle of the night, and you were trying to convince yourself that the bravest thing you’ve ever done in this fucked up world was run. 
From Joel and everything he signified now. From Tommy and the sympathy that could only go so far. From all of Jackson, and the inevitable stares that you were expecting. 
You walked back into your bedroom, pulling back the covers and laying down. 
“I just miss you.” You whispered into the dark. “But I just wish you were a better man.”
—---------
When you woke up, you found yourself reaching for his side of the bed, only to find it empty. 
The events of last night came rushing back to you, and you couldn’t stop the tears that welled in your eyes. 
You got out of bed, trudging down the hallway and back downstairs. You didn’t have the appetite for breakfast, but you suddenly found the inspiration to write. 
Your journal felt heavier than it ever had before, and you knew it was the weight of the words you’d written last night. You couldn’t help but wonder how much heavier it’d feel in a few days, and if it would ever feel so light again. 
I know that I’m probably better off all alone. I don’t need a man who can change his mind at any given minute. 
And suddenly, the sadness you had felt just last night had morphed into anger. 
And it was always on his terms! I waited on every word that came out of his mouth, hoping they’d turn sweet again… like they were in the beginning. 
The jealousy that he had for you that you were never able to place popped into your mind. 
He’d always been jealous of the love you were able to so freely give - he’d said so himself one night. He didn’t understand how you could love him so unconditionally, could love the world so openly. 
Was that when he started talking down to you? When he realized that he’d never be good enough for you? 
He talked to you like he knew you’d always be around, and maybe you would’ve. Maybe you would’ve stayed with him if he talked to you like that - pushing your love away like it was some kind of loaded gun. 
But you couldn’t be the third person in your relationship. You should’ve been the first, and Joel just didn’t seem to get that. 
And he never thought you’d run. 
You looked out the window, seeing a crowd of people gathering in the middle of town. You stood up, trying to get a better view of what was happening. 
All of a sudden, laughter sounded, loud enough that you could hear it inside your house. 
Curiosity got the best of you, so you opened your door, walking out onto your porch. 
You could finally see what everyone was crowded around - Joel. 
“I’m shocked you survived!” Someone yelled. 
“Yeah, looks like it did a number on you!”
You furrowed your brows, trying to figure out what they were talking about. Had he gone on a run this morning? Had an infected gotten too close?
Tommy walked around the crowd, eyes locked on you. You wanted to turn around and go back inside, locking the door behind you, but something kept you rooted in your spot. 
“What’s going on?” You asked him once he was close enough to hear you. 
Tommy shook his head, gesturing you to go back inside. 
You were ready to protest, to tell him he had no right to step foot in your house, but he spoke before you could.
“Please. They don’t need to see this.”
You followed him inside, shutting the door behind you as Tommy turned to face you. 
“What were they talking about?” You said, anxiety creeping into you. 
Tommy hesitated before he answered. 
“You.”
“Me?” You asked.
He nodded. “You, Joel… last night. Word got around pretty fast that he’d moved in with Carly and people came knocking.”
You felt nauseous. The town you lived in, the people you once called friends, were celebrating that Joel was finally free of you. And he was loving it. 
Your knees buckled, but Tommy caught you before you could hit the floor, helping you walk over to the couch. 
“This can’t be real.” You muttered, looking up at him. 
His lips drew into a thin line. “I’m afraid it is.”
Your eyes closed, head tipping back to rest against the back of the couch. 
If Joel was a better man, this wouldn’t be happening. 
If Joel was a better man, you’d still be in love. 
“Tommy?” You said.
“Yeah.” He responded. 
“I know why I had to say goodbye to Joel like the back of my hand, but why couldn’t he just be a better man?”
Tommy’s jaw clenched, head swimming as he thought about what Joel had put you through, and how he hadn’t done anything to stop it. 
“I don’t know.” 
That was the last thing he said before he walked out of your house, gently closing the door behind him. 
You weren’t sure how long you sat there on the couch, tears falling down your cheeks, before you picked your journal back up. 
He would’ve been the one if he was a better man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me your thoughts! Thank you for reading :)
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