#I knew there were gay vibes in that tension when they first saw each other | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dykeomania · 2 years

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. . . homegirl.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: just saw ur post and welcome to tumblr lol :)) can i request an ellie x reader where they both confess that they love each other? i mean they were best friends at first and there will be a lot of gay panic and embarrasment lmaooo before they confess, just a huge fluff

𝐚/𝐧: babe wake up thelastoflesbians posted their first fic. anywayssss kinda nervous uhhh mixed emotions about this but for the most part i’m pretty like... i’m ?! satisfied. took me about a month to write because i literally could not figure out for the life of me what i wanted to do with this fic, but it’s finally done and i actually kind of enjoy how it turned out all things considered, so. i hope that u enjoy it!!!!!! ummmmmm!!!! first time actually writing like a fluffy moment, my smut is usually a lot more physically descriptive for . obvious . Reasons but yeah ok phew ok um yes read it and tell me if you like it (please im like actually shitting)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff. fluff fluff fluff is the big thing here; lots of gay yearning and longing and “girlfriend or girl that’s a friend” type of vibe. implied smut (it’s implied/explicitly stated that you and ellie have hooked up but there’s no actual smut), cussing, drug use (weed), you and ellie being ridiculously awkward for like 500+ words it’s actually ridiculous. little bit of sexual tension tbh. bad extended metaphors (i used to write poetry and it shows in my fic writing leave me alone). i proofread this three times but i’m also blind so some shit may sound weird

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.2k.. slay

. . . .

there are some people who you would do mostly anything for. maria, who took you in. tommy, who has been nothing but kind to you. other friends, other family. and then there’s ellie.

girlhood came quick – unsightly and unprecedented -– and when ellie made the sound, sworn pact of best-friendship with you at the age of sixteen, you weren’t expecting it to become so serious. a bond originally mended from a mutual interest in comic books and backpack pins and video games and of each other’s faces – it felt only casual, like something that would age with time. but you made homes out of each other. at first it was just mere occupancy. i really like being around you. and then it was work. it was snipping through each other’s secrets and traumas, and patching all the holes punched in the walls. it was slow dancing under a roof far from perfected, and dampening each other’s shoulders in the gentle glow of fairy lights. it was stitching each other’s wounds, giving stories to each other’s scars. it was laying beside each other in an unmade bed. and there, under canopies of sheets and sighs, it was teaching each other how to kiss, how to give back. how to do it for yourselves, but most importantly, how to do it together.

when ellie looked you in the face and told you “i would do anything for you,” you were terrified because you knew that she meant it, but you squeezed her hand because you meant it tenfold.

you said, “i adore you.”

she said, “i love you,”

and then you woke up.

. . . .

it was the day after ellie’s nineteenth birthday.

the breeze kisses down the sweat-lined trail of your spine cord and the shudder it ushers from you is like a push, headfirst, into all of your senses. you wince and your hands scrunch at the sheets, and it’s sudden, but you almost immediately still. you are awake enough to realize that these sheets – as damp as they are – are not yours. this mattress is too firm. this room is too dark. at first panic comes quick, not barraging per se, but tying your stomach in a knot that renders you uneasy. you investigate -- slightly frantic -- hands searching for just about anything until someone shuffles beside you, and you still. your eyes squint at the back of an auburn bun and a feeling begins to settle in your stomach.

this is ellie’s room.

beside you, ellie is asleep. the trailed spotted canyon separates both ends of her back, and it’s on full display to you.

she was presumably naked.

and so were you.

. . . .

you didn’t talk to her after, but you couldn’t avoid her forever.

hell took the form of a cafeteria serving line where she stood beside you, staring at your neck in a manner you had to fight not to give attention to. and you knew it was cruel, but honestly, you didn’t know what to say. voice your shock at her not talking to you sooner? showing that you cared in this instance felt forbidden. like it would be a dead giveaway, of which you wouldn’t be able to afford, as remarkably stupid as that was.

apparently, you weren’t trying hard enough, since you could see that ellie was trying to do the same as you, and yet failing miserably. her eyes scanned the side of your face; waiting. longing – for anything, really. for a second, you couldn’t see her and that was when she gained the most courage. ellie’s eyes scaled the ground as she refilled her lungs, and then she tried, throwing herself into the pool of sharks with a single step in your general direction, “hey.”

your head whips around, but something falling along the line of shock backs your voice. “hi..?”

“i haven’t uh, i haven’t seen you. like at all.” “yeah.” you nodded, “yeah, i’m sorry i’ve just – i’ve just been busy lately–”

“no it’s totally fine, i get it, i was just – y’know, i was just wondering where you .. were.” ellie nearly burns herself trying to spoon mashed potatoes onto her plate. it’s not exactly one of those things that you can’t make obvious. she wanted to die.

be cool, be cool you tell yourself. “i mean.. it’s only been a week.” you roll your eyes with some effort of a laugh, but holy shit, you probably looked so stupid. you immediately rushed to compensate for it. “but uh, how’ve you been?” you see ellie’s eyebrows raise as she peeks at you. small talk? she thought. unironically? fucking, seriously? “uh..” a breathy chuckle left her lips. “i’m.. okay. you?”

“yeah, i’m fine. i’ve just been–” “busy, huh.” “yeah, yeah.. well you just, said it for me, so.” you begun counting the ways in which you could conveniently die in this moment. there were none that you could think of. you wanted to slide down a wall.

as the end of the line grew near, you couldn’t tell what emotions were bubbling in your stomach. a desire to run was obvious, but something about leaving the conversation unfinished left it curdling. your heart pounded against your ribs, and you swallowed every urge that you had not to look at her. but that didn’t stop you from slowing down, from putting the tiniest spoonfuls of broccoli on your plate, just in case. maybe if she, perhaps, if it wouldn’t be a bother… please. please just talk to me.

“hey, so, remember uh, a couple nights ago–” ellie spoke and you, briefly, felt your stomach drop into your ass and your innards beginning to protrude through every hole on your body, until she finished her sentence “--when we were talking about like.. i don’t know, weed. and you said you’d never smoked and like, you wanted to. well dina and i just got a bunch and i can’t really smoke it all on my own, so like.. i was wondering like, if maybe you wanted to... come over later…” ellie’s throat was pulsing in the base of her chest, begging, literally pleading for you to say yes. dying. on its knees. please for the love of fucking christ–

there are some people who you would do anything for, and then there’s ellie. ellie, who would give her rib for your wellbeing, and expect nothing in return. ellie, who is your best friend. ellie, who you hooked up with. ellie, who you have kissed. ellie, who is the only one in notable existence who you would have done either of those things with. ellie, who at the end of the day regardless of how hard you try to hide it, you have missed amidst all of your confusion, and who you just want to be around.

“uh.. yeah. sure, why not?”

it didn’t seem like ellie was expecting you to say yes, let alone say yes so casually. nevertheless something treading a line of relief and acceptance crossed her face, one that she had to blink away in order to remind herself that she was standing in front of you, and to say something. “yeah,” she started, lips beginning to upturn into a small smile. “well, cool.”

“i’ll see you at.. nine?” you nodded and ellie lifted her tray and walked around you to sit with jesse. when she peered over her shoulder to look back at you for a moment, you met each other’s gazes.

she offered you a small smile. you gave her one back in return.

how genuine of you.

. . . .

“you’re not gonna cough – look, i’m gonna light it. and then you’re gonna inhale and you’re gonna hold it. and just let it go when i tell you to. yeah?”

“m’literally gonna pass out–”

“you’re fine. just trust me, you got it.” ellie’s thumb rolls back and the lighter sparks. the flame licks the buds of the freshly packed bowl stationed between your lips and you try to convince yourself that that is what stills you. nothing at all to do with how ellie is so close to you that her bated breaths just barely skim your jaw. for a moment, you met eyes. despite your previous interactions, you never saw ellie as a person who stares. when she did she would stare through you, too spaced out to notice and too abashed if you’d ever brought it up to her. tonight was different because ellie was staring directly into you.

it all was hard not to focus on - the way she was looking at you, timid but daring, as if her excitement could be explained by something other than watching her best friend take her first hit. the way she was leaned over, supported one arm as though she was going to kiss you, or maybe the position was just too fucking familiar. god knows how long you looked at each other. your mind abandoned the instructions she gave you.

inhale…

you blinked, quickly averting your gaze as you filled your lungs with smoke. your eyes glued themselves to the bowl, while ellie’s eyes alternated between watching the embers and watching you. she took her bottom lip between her teeth to contain her smirk, voice falling alongside the sound of the soft crackles and your lungs expanding. “there you go. nice and easy…”

for a second you thought you had it. your exhale begun slow and cautious, and you didn’t know if you were doing this correctly but you at least knew that you were still doing it. that was until ellie looked at you again. it was the smirk, and the tinge in her cheeks. it was every freckle and the lines of sleep deprivation and stress settled under her eyes, backlit by lamplight. your breathing tripped, and your coughs stumbled out. hard. harder than you were prepared for. you caught the sound of ellie laughing underneath them before she rose from the couch, and the sound of the faucet running followed shortly thereafter.

“oh my god,” you rasped, swallowing down what you’d hoped would be the last of your coughs. it wasn’t. you wanted to die, and for a minute, you actually thought you were going to.

“it’s okay. it happens,” ellie grinned, handing you a cup of water your way which you hastily accepted. embarrassment laughed loudly at you in the back of your mind, for you’ve made yourself look astronomically stupid in front of ellie on numerous occasions and it wasn’t exactly like any of them had mattered prior to this. this one seemed to matter a little more though. “that’s – that’s really strong,” you tried to play it off, hoarse and partially alive. “you said i wouldn’t cough,” you frowned.

“i never said that.” “you lied to me.” “oh so, i’m a liar now?” “yes! what the fuck, that’s exactly what you are.” you laughed. ellie plopped down on the couch and took the bowl from your hand, a shiteating grin never leaving her face. “it’s okay, it’s fine. you’re fine.” she took her lighter, flushing slightly. “that was fine. you did good. i’m proud of you.”

her words made your suffering more worthwhile than you’d like to admit. good. i’m proud of you. a self-satisfied smile twitched onto your lips accompanied by the warmth in your cheeks. you caught yourself rolling your eyes and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as the sound of ellie’s lighter flickered once more, only the bowl had been brought to her lips. you brought your knees up to your chest as you watched her. she withdrew the smoke slow between her lips and exhaled the cloud before her with ease. it was you, this time, whose teeth found their bottom lips. suddenly you understood the appeal of watching. maybe because it just wasn’t you who was doing the smoking. or maybe, more accurately, because it was ellie.

your eyes scan her for longer than you intended to, flickering between the bowl and her eyes. you have to literally force them away, now feeling the need to fill in the silence. “how long does it take to hit?” you tilted your head. “like, usually?”

ellie took a second to think, frowning in thought for a second before resorting to shaking her head. “not that long.” she rasped, going in for another hit. “but it gets stronger the more you do it. it’s not like edibles, or anything.” you slowly nodded, mumbling an “ah” under your breath at ellie’s advice.

“you get better with practice. you did better than me my first time, i remember when i first smoked with kat.. oh my god. i was like.. dying on her floor.” ellie snorted, and your eyes fell slightly. kat and dina weren’t necessarily sensitive topics, or at least for the sake of showing that you didn’t care, you convinced yourself that they weren’t. but part of you liked to think that ellie knew. because honestly, she probably did. nonetheless, an amused exhale pushed through your nose as you thought, airing on the side of caution with your words. “i don’t really think she cared that much,” you mused and ellie scrunched up her face, offering a half-way smile in confirmation “not really, no.”

you fiddled with your fingers as your eyes lingered around the tops of your knees. the gap of silence widened between the two of you, and in the midst of waiting for you to say something, ellie looked at you, realizing that you weren’t going to. her eyes scaled you up and down, a small confused smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “you okay?”

you honestly hadn’t realized how quiet you’d been. you can’t tell what made you that way – the mention of kat, the fact that you are sitting across from ellie on the same couch that you and her (began) fucking on a week and a half prior– “yeah i’m just–” you ran a hand through your hair, stretching with a groan that you’d hope would act as a vessel for all of your anxieties. “i’m just uh, waiting for you to ask me if i want another hit.”

ellie’s eyebrows raised and she scoffed out a laugh. ”okay, well..” she lifted the glass bowl, pointing it towards you. “do youuu… want another hit?”

. . . .

what you liked most about ellie is how you fit beside her. how she always left room for you, but kept you close. what ellie liked most about you is that you saw all sides of her, even the ones that she herself couldn’t see, and yet you still chose to stay. her hand was fit to be undesirable - often cold, calloused and rough with the day’s remains under her fingernails no matter how hard she scrubbed them. but you didn’t flinch when she touched you. your skin brought warmth to her palms and she brought you the gift of knowing that she was there, and during these times, wanted to be nowhere else. between the sheets, conversation fell in gentle whispers. giggles were hushed as to not wake the peace between you two. it was just you two. and face to face, you were safe, tracing forcefields onto each other’s skin. she was soft yellow light. she was cluttered collectibles, and wrinkled, stained grey comforters. she was brown liquor, and the vibration of a tuned guitar against your chest. she is home; your homegirl.

ellie’s eyes were half-lidded, pulled under by both sleepiness and the influence, but she was still only looking at you. she looked at you when you were looking directly at her, foreheads bound to touch and barely a nose apart, and your breath tickled her upper lip. she looked at you when you closed your eyes and her hands were massaging your scalp, when your head bent towards the nape of her neck and she swore you could hear her heart thumping, spilling over in her chest. your hands had found the girl’s hip, thumb barely tracing patterns over the skin exposed above her boyshorts. ellie was floating, though she was still thinking, which was both a blessing a curse.

ellie spent a lot of time assessing the roles of the different people in her life. she didn’t dwell over the concept of loss, be it death or otherwise. but keeping people close to her felt like a timebomb.

everyone who i have ever cared about has either died or left me.

she would never tell anyone but laying with you, staying with you, being with you -- as much as she loved it -- sometimes felt like a recipe for disaster. now, all things considered, she’d hate to admit that that feeling was even worse. she felt like shit. for a variety of reasons. she just didn’t want you to leave. “i don’t want you to ever go away,” ellie muttered through the silence.

you hum, nose rested in the crescent of her neck, breathing in the smell of just her; musk, deodorant, woodchips, weed. these words aren’t unfamiliar to you coming from ellie. you wanted the moment to last. you wanted to be as close to her as you could be. you wanted to hear the reason. “why?” you asked, a tiny playful smirk in your voice, evident once you lift your head to look up at her. you can’t really see her, but her breath fans over your lips. suddenly both of your bodies feel hot, like her hip is melting into your hand and your cheek into her palm. the sliver of distance between the two of you is paining, but neither of you move.

ellie bit back a small smile. her tongue stuck out briefly, passing between her lips along as a beat of silence settled between the two of you. “because,” she whispers, quieter. “you’re like.. my best friend.” “mm.” “and i guess you’re my favorite person,” ellie’s nose bumped against yours, and you swallowed your breath. “and i would do anything for you.”

“you don’t even care about me,” you joked. your eyes locked with the girl’s before you whose had seemed to soften, like the smile on her face, but only slightly. “i’d kill for you.”

ellie is pure warmth against you. the concave of your hand presses gently into the protrusion of her hip, and you feel her lean into your grasp, edging closer, daring to do so something that best friends simply do not do. flickering between her eyes and her lips. ellie’s finger traces the curve of your jawline and you try not to shiver. it hooks, carefully, under the base of your chin, thumb massaging over its front. but it felt different this time. you needed to ask, “do you remember the night that we hooked up?”

if the lights were on, you would’ve seen all the blood fade from ellie’s face. and then you would’ve seen it rush to her cheeks again. you did see her bite the inside of her cheek, scaling your own face carefully in an effort to remain perfectly still – perfectly collected. “it kinda depends on what you’re labeling as hooking up.”

you weren’t expecting yourself to roll your eyes, or laugh for that matter. “i’m not talking about kissing, i’m not talking about heavy-petting.” you looked into her, a smile on both of your faces. “i’m talking about your birthday.”

ellie’s heart kicks and for a second, she thinks she might have a heartattack. a beat drifts by, and she nods, “yeah.”

“and you told me that you would do anything for me?”

ellie’s brows furrowed. you could tell she was trying to joke with you, but behind her reciprocation, for the first time, it’s like you could see it in her face. “where exactly are you going with this?”

you were starting to feel a bit nervous. your palm felt clammy against her skin, despite it being perfectly dry. “because i think you said something else, too.” ellie’s ministrations grew to a slow halt and suddenly you knew that she knew, that you knew. “and i think you said it while i was sleeping. and i wanna know if it’s true.” you felt so small under ellie’s gaze. ellie, who had not broken eye contact with you once, had barely shown any changes in her expression outside of the subtle lift in her brows. the most you got out of her was a recent, slow, thoughtful lick of her lips – the only thing she could offer as she struggled to pull herself together, desperately wanting to own up to what you’d suspected but at the same time desperately looking for escapes out of this conversation.

instead, she settled, trying not to swallow the bulge in her throat. “i don’t know, what if it is?” she tossed, cheeks warm and gaze wanting to waver, but not allowing herself to let it. as badly as she wanted to. mother of god, she was so conflicted.

your hand reaches for the back of ellie’s neck and your lips slot together in something soft, something familiar, but something so full that it makes your heart twist and turn. ellie’s hand takes your hip like it’s routine, reeling and winding as your lips slot together - slow. gentle. calculated. the answer to her question. “i wanna hear you say it,” you murmured against her lips. ellie hummed, it falling between the line of approval and disapproval. her hand was hot against your stomach – you felt like you were on fire. “i don’t want you to hate me,” ellie admitted, and it struck you dead in the chest. “i don’t know -- i’m honestly so fucking scared. i don’t wanna ruin anything. i don’t wanna lose you.”

you shook your head, frantic and eager, words bubbling out before you got a grasp on them. “what? i could never hate you.” you hooked your finger gently under her chin, pulling her face so that it faced yours. you searched her eyes for any signs of sarcasm or anything. instead, certainty – and not the certainty in her eyes just a few moments prior. a more pessimistic kind of certainty. doubt. a hint of dread, even. “i could never. hate you.” you reaffirmed, and then you slipped; you were off the deep end, the words out your mouth before you could even control them, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling… “i love you.”

ellie’s expression fragmented. her eyes met yours again, and something in them brightened, and then dimmed. like something had unlocked – unclicked, at the notice that maybe, just maybe, there was a little bit less to be afraid of.

and so you said it again. “i love you.” you shook your head. “i love you..”

ellie’s train of thought is pure static. she can’t tell if she’s breathing heavier, or breathing at all, and or if she is nearly even alive for these are moments that she’d only really thought of. she can think of nothing other than you. just you, here, beneath and alongside her and loving her, and everything cracks and locks into place at the same time.

she leans down, grasping your cheek and kissing you like you’re an anchor. for the first time, neither of you hold back. it wasn’t chaste, nor careful. ellie kisses you like she’d been meaning to since you started allowing her to – deeply, with no endpoint in sight. your bodies mold, like halves slotting together, and heat envelops the two of you. it’s safe. it’s so warm. it is so perfect. when she pulls away, she is winded, having nearly given all of the life in her body to you.

“i love you,” she declares, lips ghosting against your own. your head spins as you catch her gaze through your lashes, bringing yourself to barely shake your head as you find your voice. “no you don’t..” your smile is sarcastic and suddenly both you and ellie are snickering, but she’s persistent against your lips. “i love you so much.”

“i can never win with you, huh?” ellie quipped, pushing a section of hair out of your face and you grin. “not once,” you promise. ellie shakes her head at you. her thumb massages your cheekbone and for a second, she’s useless, now essentially smiling down at you as she shook her head.

“you’re so stupid,” ellie whispered. “and you’re never getting rid of me.” “yeah?” “yeah.” “thank god for that, i guess.” you both laugh and your lips make contact once again. it’s full of yearning and it’s deep, but this time, you take your time. ellie’s hands move slow, and time rolls over onto itself. each kiss overlaps and says something different, but as you spend the night parting each other’s thighs with your legs and breathing bliss into each other’s mouths, the same mantra gets underscored over and over again. i’ve got you, she says. and i’ve got you, you affirm.

there are other people in this world who you would die for and then there is ellie, who you would walk through shallow spikes for with no complaints because you know she would do the same for you. there is ellie who would fight hell and high water for you, and has, and will do it again and again and again, as long as it meant that you weren’t going anywhere. there is ellie, who is half of you, but more. ellie. your best friend. your girlfriend, you’d hope. your person.

your homegirl. just a girl. just a body, to which you’re a homebody.

homegirl, homegirl, homegirl.

#tlou #tlou 2 #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou2 ellie x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x f!reader #the last of us ii #tlou fic #tlou smut #mia did you add enough tags or did you not add enough tags #please just read my shit bruh i need validation #oh my god dude im so nervous what the fuck #every time i read it i start to hate it literally bye im just gonna post it

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hanarinhightown · 2 years

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kaidan, tali, nihlus

First Impression

Kaidan: oh this is such a sweet cute boy i love him??

Tali: i was 12 years old, sheltered, didn't know queer people were a thing yet, and i had a feeling

Nihlus: ...listen the first second i saw that mandible twitch i knew my life was ruined.

Impression now

K: He's a complex character with a beautiful arc and relationship to Shepard, especially in the bi romance route that I still really want to play at some point!

T: Honestly now that I'm older Tali has major little sister vibes for me and I would do anything for her

N: [REDACTED]

Favorite moment

K: i'm a sucker for the "i used to" line at the beginning of ME3. Actually the entire first couple of hours with Kaidan in ME3 are superbly written and acted.

T: the beginning of me2 when you run into her and she's the first familiar face that shepard sees that isn't connected to cerberus and it's just such a moment of relief mixed with the tension of her not coming with you it's v good

N: *clown music plays distantly in the background*

Idea for a story

K: kaidan and thane in huerta memorial hospital trying to figure out what each others' deal is and then playing chess and then they kiss on the mouth 🥰🥰

T: idk i really want to read a longfic that really explores tali's relationship to legion as it grows and changes and informs the way she thinks about basically everything about the world

N: ..............that's classified

Unpopular opinion

Favorite relationship

K: Shepard

T: Wrex!

N: Saren, obviously.

Favorite headcanon

K: thaidan

T: tali having big gay feelings for miranda and not being able to process it bc miranda is mean until she just gets absolutely wasted in me3

N: nihlus has spent his life trying to find something that *fits* and can never quite make it work and never feels at home in his own skin until saren, in his own weird way, accepts him and loves him, please excuse me

Send me a character and I will answer these prompts about them

#thank you!!#ask game #khel babbles

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salandition · 4 years

Text

Dizzy

Leon/Male!Reader

Summary: When you stop making the room spin, an unsettling whistle leaves your lips and Leon slowly backs away from you as you keep stalking toward him- and all of a sudden he’s aware of the feeling you’ve been giving him the entire night. Something intoxicating that makes him feel like prey.

Warnings: Rated T. Consumption of alcohol, making out while inebriated, and sexual themes, but no smut. Just a lot of tension and dancing.

A/N:My first Leon fic! Hoo hoo! I wasn’t sure how I felt about making my first fic a male insert, and I juggled with the idea of making it gender neutral instead, but the narrative of a male reader fit better. Plus. I am... very gay for Leon, and I wanted to indulge. SO i hope you all don’t mind the assigned gender in this fic!

--- --- ---

Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe it was the atmosphere- the dancing, the bodies pressing against each other, the neon lighting flashing in the dark room, painting everyone's skin with its fantastical colors. Maybe it was the music that Leon could feel in his core as he was tossed around the crowd, from person to person, his hair sticking to his sweaty neck that glowed pink and blue.

But something was happening. There was a certain energy in the air, buzzing around the entire bar, and it lit Leon aflame, stumbling and falling as he tried to keep up with it. Keep up with you.

You felt untouchable. You looked ethereal- your body and your voice that swayed with the lyrics you sang on stage, guitar in your arms strumming chords that Leon felt vibrate through his spine. Your eyes that trailed him up and down-

Everything about you was so intoxicating that it might be dangerous .

Raihan was the one that suggested they go out tonight. ‘To loosen up,’ his friend had said. Leon didn’t think he needed to loosen up, he felt just fine, but spending a night out drinking and relaxing with friends didn’t sound like a bad idea. And Nessa had insisted that she ‘knew a place’. The perfect place, apparently.

That’s what led Leon underground in Spikemuth, to a bar he had no idea even existed; and at first, it was fine. The group sat at their private little booth in the corner because Leon had a reputation of being seen and ruining the vibe with his fans, not that anyone would admit that out loud (besides maybe Raihan). But this place was special. It was dark in the bar, the only light provided was from the neon lamps placed on bar tables, the rings that people wore, and the poles and stands that were on the stage in the back.

When Leon asked what the stage was for, Raihan said they liked to play music. It wasn’t much later after that when things started to turn.

The drinks the bar served were full of flavor. Citrusy and sweet, lulling you into a false sense of security that you weren’t really drinking that much alcohol. They seemed to glow as well, leaving your teeth a sticky color, which Leon had laughed at when he first saw it.

It didn’t seem as funny when it was used against him.

The champion had gone to the bar alone, ordering the next round of drinks for his table. He was feeling confident with the dark atmosphere and the fact that no one had noticed or pulled him aside yet. The confidence seemed to falter when the bartender asked him what he wanted, and he realized he didn’t know the names of their glowy-type sweet drinks, and it was too dark to read a menu. If a menu even existed.

That’s when someone had slipped behind him. He could feel someone’s chest lightly touching his back as they leaned over, placing a hand on the bar counter beside him. The champion bristled but didn’t say anything as he turned around, expecting it to be Raihan messing with him-

Instead, he met your eyes, and that’s when the fire in his belly started.

You didn’t meet his gaze. Your teeth were glowing, like his, and your lips were stained and smeared with purple as you listed several words he wasn’t familiar with to the bartender, and suddenly the man was working, his hands busy as he whipped up several drinks.

That’s when you looked down at Leon, and he felt like his throat was suddenly drier than it should be.

“Are you new?” You asked him quietly, only for Leon to hear, and Leon felt the need to suddenly shiver.

“Ah- I suppose it’s obvious, isn’t it?” He laughs lightly, joking at his clear inexperience with the bar, and your teeth disappear when you smile at him.

“Just a tad. I don’t mind lending you a hand, though. You should have a good time, this place can get overwhelming,” you lean a little closer, making Leon feel the heat radiating off your body, and it’s making him sweat, “if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Leon opens his mouth, but no words come out. Thankfully, he’s saved by the bartender, who places several different drinks on a tray and puts it on the counter. You smile again and push the tray toward him, and Leon looks at you in confusion before reaching back for his wallet.

You’re already close enough that you easily stop him by placing a warm hand on his arm. “It’s on me. Bring the drinks to your friends.” You lead his hand to the tray, and you finally take a step away from Leon, giving him room to breathe. Leon really shivers then by the sudden shift in temperature- he was suddenly much colder than before. “Have a good time, new boy,” you told him with a wink, and suddenly you disappeared as if you were never there at all.

Like a figment of his imagination.

Leon tried his best to shake it off. If you were real, you were certainly strange. The aura you carried and the way you talked to him-

No one ever talked to him like that.

But, again, he shakes it off. He brings the tray of drinks to his friends, all who holler and cheer when he returns. When Sonia asks what took him so long, he doesn’t know what to say, so he just hands her a drink instead.

Raihan gives him a look, and Leon ignores it.

Things start to fall back like they were before. Leon laughs, he jokes, he wrestles with Raihan. Ordinary things for a night out. And then, finally, people start to set up on the stage. Somehow it gets even darker in the club, but the light stands that surround the borders of the stage glow brighter.

You step onto the platform, electric bass in your hand, and you go right for the microphone in the center. Leon once again feels his throat dry up when he sees you, for reasons that he really can’t find the right words to explain.

Music starts to play, slow and sweet and alluring. Leon can’t help but ask because he can’t seem to tear his eyes away- “who is that?”

“Him? That’s ___,” Nessa replies, resting her head in her hand as she looks at the stage. Her body naturally sways to the beat. “Him and his band play here a lot. Not sure about the name of the band because they never really announce themselves. They don’t really have a schedule either. They just come up and play, and no one says anything. They’re really good, though.”

Hm.

The slow beat only lasts for so long. The bass players behind you and the drummer all start to amp up, and eventually, your voice comes through the speakers of the club. “It’s about time we livened things up, don’t you think?” The patrons of the clubs all woot and cheer, making you laugh. “Mm, I thought so. Alright. I want to see some of you pulling your best moves, then.”

You strum your guitar, and the mood changes.

Here I am, tied and bound,

Every night, feeling low,

Bad days come back whatever,

Raihan chuckles from beside Leon as his head starts to bob to the beat, and Sonia wiggles out of her seat. “We should get up and dance!” She suggests, and Nessa seems to agree as she leaves the booth.

Leon doesn’t want to dance, not really, but he’s basically torn from his seat and pulled into the crowd by his friends as they all begin to move with the beat. The lights on the stage begin to glow and change color, reflecting on the sea of people in waves, bouncing and sinking into sweaty skin as Leon keeps his eyes on you.

In the sun I bathe, in everyday light,

You draft me down for a split second tomorrow,

What am I supposed to do?

Somehow, your eyes find his. They stay on him, bore into him as you sing, even as Nessa twirls him around and laughs at how distracted he is.

I know you would make me happy,

Girl, I found my way out,

I found it at last now I’m sober

Oh-oo-oooo-

Your eyes practically shine as your head raises high,

Let’s go!

The bass guitars thrum loudly and everyone enjoys the rift, and Leon’s forced to tear his eyes away as he dances and laughs when Sonia nearly trips, falling into Raihan instead, and then he twirls her across the floor until she falls into Nessa’s arms and the two start to dance in sync together.

Leon distracts himself with the music. He tries to ignore the feeling of your eyes burning into him as the music continues, gets louder, vibrates through him just like your voice had done to him earlier. He lets himself enjoy the sweat and exhaustion that comes from dancing so much, the ache in his feet- he thrives in it.

You had told him to enjoy himself, hadn’t you?

His cheeks hurt from how much he was laughing and smiling, and he starts to forget about your purple-stained lips, but then you did something unexpected.

The songs you and your band made, easy to dance to, come to a quiet, and Leon had noticed how you removed your guitar and set it to the side. Music comes again as you walk up to the mic with a whistle, but the intense beat had him stopping in his steps to stare up at you. Slowly your hands went around the mic as you sing,

Woke up in the morning feelin’ cynical, typical,

Tryin’a rub the sleep out of my bloodshot eyes,

Did I just die? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

You smile as you take the mic away from the stand, but your eyes remain somewhat neutral and cold as you look out to the crowd.

I’ve been feelin’ self-destructive, but I love it,

I can’t help myself- your taste is so seductive,

Leon’s surprised when you hop off the stage, the line of the microphone following behind you as you twirl the wire between your fingers, but no one else seems to think it’s strange. Maybe you do it often. Naturally, people move out of your way as you continue to sing, but Leon finds himself frozen in place.

I’m feelin’...

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- on my mind, can’t rewind,

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- all the time, that’s my life,

And you’re headed right for him.

Somehow, he felt like he should have predicted it from how your eyes bore into him as he swayed and danced to your voice. But now? Again he realizes he doesn’t feel like dancing, but you reach for his arm just like before and pull him toward you anyway, making him twirl with you, everyone’s eyes on the two of you.

He doesn’t see them, and neither do you. The two of you are too busy twirling, twirling, twirling.

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- on my mind, can’t rewind, you sing,

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- all the time, that’s my life,

When you stop making the room spin, an unsettling whistle leaves your lips and Leon slowly backs away from you as you keep stalking toward him- and all of a sudden he’s aware of the feeling you’ve been giving him the entire night.

Something intoxicating that makes him feel like prey.

Frontin’ about my day, I’m feelin’ criminal, habitual,

I try to hide my pain behind a broken smile, so out of style,

Leon keeps backing up until his heel meets a surface- the stage. He backs up as far as he can against it, and you reach for him again, your hand smoothly running against his stubbled jaw as you move in close. Close enough that he can feel that same heat from before, the kind that makes him want to shiver.

Your hand holds his jaw, keeps him in place as your chest's touch and the microphone is the only thing keeping you away from his lips as you stare deep into his golden eyes.

I’ve been feelin’ self destructive, but I love it,

I can’t help myself, your taste is so seductive,

The tension is left unresolved as you pull on him again, away from the stage, and once again, you spin with him.

I’m feelin,

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- on my mind, can’t rewind,

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- all the time, that’s my life,

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- on my mind, can’t rewind,

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy- all the time, that’s my life,

At the end of your chorus, you wink at him again and send him flying, twirling toward the crowd and right into Raihan’s lean, firm chest. You meander around the crowd some more as you sing, but after that, you eventually hop back on the stage to finish your song.

Leon, to put it simply, is out of breath, but you don’t look affected in the slightest. Maybe because it’s your job. Maybe because you're from another planet?

“Holy shit, man,” Raihan laughs from behind Leon as he grabs the Champion’s arms, twirling him once again, and Leon thinks he might just vomit if someone makes him spin like that one more time. “What the hell was that?”

The song isn’t over, but he can’t even hear it anymore as he’s swarmed by his friends. Nessa looks blown away. “We can’t take you anywhere, can we?” She laughs.

“Apparently not!”

“Har har,” Leon groans, a hand moving to clasp his sweaty forehead. “I think that’ll be enough dancing for me.” Behind him, he’s mildly aware of someone messing with his hair, and suddenly it feels a bit cooler as his hair is tied up into a ponytail, away from his neck and shoulders. Half his mind still intact, he reaches behind him, clasps a hand that feels like Raihan’s and squeezes it as a form of thanks- and then he’s stumbling away, back to his booth where he can catch his breath.

Time swirls in his head unsteadily, his head throbbing with the beat of drums and electronic noise. Leon still feels so hot- a heat in his belly that’s swirling and twirling and making him woozy. Resting in the booth he undoes a few buttons on his dress shirt, just wanting to cool down, but his tight pants keep him constricted and sweating.

Cool down. Leon just wants to cool down.

Blurry visions of purple lips and teeth cloud up his mind, and his pants are so tight, and a painfully unfamiliar and alluring voice still bounces in his skull. He hardly even notices when imaginary becomes reality as you eventually sit next to him in the booth, your hand on his thigh, and your chest pressed against his arms as you flash those bright teeth at him again. Weren’t you singing on stage? When did you leave? Where were his friends?

Are you really real?

He wants you to prove it to him.

Your laughter rings out, and suddenly you’re closer than before, and his disoriented mind hardly cares when your hands wander around his form. Purple lips press softly against his own, probably stained another hideously lovely color, but Leon’s so hot that it feels like a fever as his body moves to straddle you and he kisses you again. Again.

Something pulls on the loose strands of hair spilling out of his ponytail, and he moans, and then his hair is pulled once more- harder- and there’s a tongue in his mouth that tastes like razzberries.

Are you real?

Your lips trail against his jaw, hands holding his hips firmly- when did you get under his shirt? Leon can feel warm breaths on his ear, and there’s a whisper that rings through his hazy, clouded mind.

“I’ll prove it to you.”

It sounds like music.

---

Waking up wasn’t pleasant when it felt like you were only waking up to a nightmare.

His dreams- he had barely dreamt- but his dreams were fuzzy and warm, pleasant. Nothing like the painful throb that he woke up to, thrumming through his whole body and his skull. The Champion doesn’t even have the pleasure of waking up in his own home.

When he opens his eyes, he sees that he’s in a living room of some sort, but he’s never been to this place before.

Which begs the question of how he got here at all. He has a feeling it’s not because of his horrible sense of direction- especially when he moves up from where he was sleeping on the couch and the blanket draped over him pools in his lap, letting him see the various marks that scatter across his body.

Hickies, love marks, predatory bites. Call them what you will.

There’s a lot of them.

“I see the Champion is finally awake,” a voice that’s only vaguely familiar cuts through his thoughts. Leon looks up, finding a blurry form of a body in a doorway. He can’t make out who it is, but when they step closer, his mind quickly catches up and does the math for him.

It’s you- that singer from last night. No longer bathed in neon lights, you look dramatically different- especially because you’re wearing a loose shirt and no pants, and Leon can easily see the bright marks scattered on you just like they’re on him.

He must have done that. To you.

“You know,” you speak up again, breaking Leon out of his thoughts. You move to sit carefully on the coffee table placed in front of the couch he’s on. You keep your distance, and the gesture is appreciated in the back of Leon’s mind. “I was surprised when I woke up this morning. I had no idea it was you.”

“You didn’t?” His voice is croaky and dry, and that’s when you hand him the glass of water that he hadn’t noticed you were carrying, along with two white pills that are probably aspirin.

“To be fair, the club is really dark. And I had already had a few drinks in me when I went up on stage.” You watch as Leon chugs the water you gave him. “But I was miles more sober than you were. I should have noticed.”

The information doesn’t make him feel better. There’s an uncomfortable feeling spreading through him from his gut, making his shoulders tense-

“We didn’t do anything,” you say. “Besides making out and all that. You were certainly tempting with how eager you acted,” you smile impishly at him, chuckling, “but I knew you were also out of your mind. Nothing happened besides some innocent grinding. You passed out on my couch, too, after a while. Woke up again and threw up all over yourself, but I cleaned that up. Should probably shower when you get home, though.”

Leon blinks once, twice, three times as he processes the information you gave him. There’s a chance you could be lying. The Champion hardly remembered anything from last night, just flashes. But when he looks at you, sitting half-naked as you twiddle nervously with your hands in your lap, he feels like he can believe you.

Especially the throwing up part. His stomach feels unsteady enough that he can certainly believe that part.

“...Thank you for doing that for me,” Leon murmurs eventually. “Do you… have any idea where my clothes are?”

“Ah,” you nod and stand up, hands on your thighs. “Yes, I had put them in the dryer earlier. Since you threw up on your clothes and all that. I’ll go see if they’re done.”

You leave for a separate room, leaving Leon alone in your living room. His head is still throbbing, but the aspirin is slowly kicking in.

As he slowly starts to assess the situation he’s in, the only words he can find to describe it is… odd. Very odd.

Getting drunk and making out with strangers isn’t like him. Especially male strangers. Especially coming home with said male strangers.

So what happened that made him so drawn to you, anyway? Leon honestly doesn’t know. You were attractive, that’s for sure.

Maybe he was lonely. Desperate.

He doesn’t get to think more about it because soon you walk into the room again- wearing some shorts this time- his clothes in your hand as you smile at him.

Your teeth aren’t glowing purple anymore, but there’s still a tint to them that makes him huff out a chuckle as he takes his clothes from your hand, murmuring a thank you as he does. You also hand him his phone, which he hadn’t even thought about until he saw it.

Turning the screen on, he sees a headache of messages waiting for him, so he turns it off for now.

“So where, uh… Am I, exactly?” He asks you as he puts his shirt back on, fumbling with the buttons. You sit back down on the coffee table.

“My apartment in Spikemuth, not that far from the bar. I know you’re pants with directions, so I can help you head back to Wyndon if you’d like. But I,” you look away from him again, and Leon notices how you twirl your hands in your lap again, “uh, I understand if you probably would like to head home by yourself, too.”

It clicks in Leon’s head then. For someone who acted so confidently last night, the confidence that lured Leon in to begin with- you were oddly cute once you were pulled into the light. It’s almost endearing.

Leon doesn’t reply in favor for shuffling on his pants instead- you glance away and hide your eyes with your hand as you do, which Leon audibly chuckles at since there’s not much for him to hide that you haven’t seen already, but he appreciates it none the less.

Instead of replying to your request, he asks a question. “What’s your name?” Your eyes meet his, and he smiles in a fluster. “I never really caught it last night. If I did- well- I forgot.”

“Right,” you nod and you don’t look like you mind. “The name’s ___.”

“___,” He tests the name on his lips. It sounds a bit familiar- so perhaps he did learn your name last night. “Well, ___. To be quite honest, last night was very unlike me. I’m a bit out of my comfort zone,” he says, and now his own hands are twirling around. “But I’d appreciate the invitation to get to know who I was smooching on last night if you’re willing to chat as we head to Wyndon.”

Your eyes light up in surprise- perhaps you weren’t expecting that. Again, the word ‘cute’ crosses his mind, especially when you smile at him. That was the most familiar thing- your smile and how you managed to still send anxious twirls in his stomach. It was odd…

“Yeah- that’d be nice. I’ll get changed and- well- you probably want to use my hairbrush. And maybe we can slap some make-up on your neck, too,” you laugh as you stand, Leon following close behind as you lead him to your bathroom.

Yes, the feeling you made him feel was odd… But not bad.

Not bad at all, really.

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watchinglikeafangirl · 3 years

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Lovely Writer Episode 11 - analysis

I'm still not quite over yesterday's episode and I have a lot of thoughts about it, so I just need to get it out of my system and write yet another analysis because I'm so much invested.

I saw some people saying this week's episode was the weakest of them all and I can only disagree because in my opinion, Lovely Writer gets better week after week. The weakest episode so far was the first one. The truth about Nubsib is revealed pretty slowly and you can only see the entire picture after ep 7 or something and I believe this is very well done. First, Lovely Writer is about Nubsib and who he is and this show thankfully doesn't get boring as soon as we get to know everything. Then, another conflict steps up and they deal with the angst of them coming out to, not only their parents, but basically the whole world. It's just a very interesting and clever storywriting because it feels like the creators of this show know what they are talking about.

Sexuality

Just because I've seen this post about the dinner Gene has with his friends in ep 4, I'm gonna talk about how his sexuality is handled and how much he grows with it. Gene never has a real conflict with his sexuality, at least it never seems that way. He has his moments with Nubsib and when they kiss, he likes it a lot but it's never a topic. He never says "I'm gay" but you can feel that he's not uncomfortable because Nubsib is a man but because Nubsib is invading his personal space. When Gene has dinner with his friends, they ask him more than once if he is gay or not. This whole scene was just very awkward and Gene doesn't really give them any answer. He doesn't deny it but he doesn't clarify it either. It's just a vibe we're getting that he's sure he's not straight. But this is an unspoken truth and I believe, he is not ready to clarify it yet because he doesn't want to say anything if he's not 100% sure.

Later in the show, Gene clarifies his sexuality alongside his sort of love confession when he shouts at his father. I find this extremely powerful because Gene waits until he's really in love with someone until he says anything about his sexuality. Like him falling for a man was his verification. And after he said it and stood up for it, he's a lot more relaxed and self-confident. He never denies it, even when his father first looks like he's not approving the relationship, because that's who he is. That is his identity.

Them vs the outside

It's something I've already addressed in my other analyses, but this devide returns every single episode. The first 20mins of this episode, we get cute SibGene scenes in Nubsib's apartment and it's basically them just being happy boyfriends. But then, Hin calls and the fairytale is over. The real world is back and it's again, nothing positive. As soon as the outside invades their lives again, the amount of couple moments stops and things are more serious now. Here, the problem grows slowly until it's huge and over these, I guess, 70mins, every argument and point of view is presented to then draw a big picture of the whole conflict itself and the tough decision they have to make. First, we have Gene not worrying, then him saying their love is between two people only, then Bua saying others rely on this and then Tum's sister saying fans are going wild. It's a lot to take and right before the big blow, we get a scene of Gene and Nubsib just holding each other (here). They still haven't seen the entirety of this problem and believe they will overcome it.

They feel sort of untouchable now that they have promised each other grand things and all that. They overcame the fight with the parents and bonded even more over it, so nothing could come between them. That's why we don't get their reactions to the Tweets, because they feel invincible and don't really worry about it. It is a sign of their seriousness and belief that they are strong together.

This episode started with their "love being between two people" and ended with their "love breaking beause of other people".

Love vs reputation

This brings me to this section of my analysis. The problem with this conflict is that there is no right solution and I still don't know what I would've done. Nubsib doesn't care about others but Gene does. It's a dilemma with no right or wrong. Both sides are understandable. The problem is that they both misunderstand each other. Gene thinks Nubsib is selfish and Nubsib thinks Gene only cares about others. Right now, they can't have both: love and the others. It's either one of them and both options mean a great sacrifice.

Repuation means a lot in the show business and even though Nubsib doesn't seem to care about it, it's very important and what the film industry relies on. His love for Gene causes the whole production to collapse and backfire because "SibAoey is not true". Their real love feels like a crime because it could mean the end for a few people (talking about Tum). So, it's love vs reputation, truth vs lie and them vs the outside.

In the end, Gene doesn't want to cause even more damage. He choses to damage two lives in order to keep hundreds save and I totally get where he is coming from but he's sacrificing his happiness. Nubsib was his redemption. A door to love and the end of loneliness. Now, Gene is back where he was and even more closeted now.

But his decision is very in character because he has proven before that he has his shell he's crawling into whenever things get too tense. He shuts the world and everyone else out in order to be alone in his head. So, he even pushes Nubsib away even though Nubsib showed him a happy life outside of that shell which is why Gene porbably feels really depressed living alone. If you once get to see, taste and feel happiness, you can't just let go and forget it.

During the break-up we even see Nubsib changing his mind (mentioned here). First, he wants to convince Gene to see things like he does and is not ready to change his mind. But then he realizes Gene is still the creator of "Bad Engineer". He put a lot of work and heart into the novel and Nubsib's solution to the problem would cause peple to badmouth Gene's story. So, Nubsib is ready to even agree to the option the company presented: only meeting in private. But Gene is so worked up at this point and has made up his mind that he sees no point in them being together and storms off to go back into his nutshell. In this moment, hiding seems to be easier for him than enduring the confrontation.

Protection of the fairytale

As I already said, Gene and Nubsib live in their fairytale and up until now we thought Nubsib is the only one who would do everything to protect it and prevent the outside from stepping in - and people still think that. But guys, don't forget that Gene knew about the Twitter thing as well. He also didn't address the issue. He also wanted to protect this faitytale and happiness.

This protection of what's very dear to them got puched in the face during the tough meeting. There's a lot of pressure and they have to decide what to do. They have no time to discuss and come to an agreement. People want answers right now, so each of them doesn't know what to do and just seeks understanding in each other's face. Nubsib and Gene don't sit next to each other to make the decision together, unlike the coming out to the parents when Nubsib took Gene's hand. This time, they look at each other with a look of horror and that's simply all they can do. They can't hold hands to reasure each other they will endure this no matter what (mentioned here).

What this show always showed is that Gene and Nubsib are strong together. They might act tough sometimes but they are both weak in a way that they need each other, that they need to lean onto each other. But that's not possible here and this protection of the fairytale no longer exists and is no longer possible. They can't protect their hearts right now and don't even have a chance. It feels like a metaphor to predict what is about to come. It's "a heart ripped in two" or "two hands ripped apart" if you want to be dramatic.

Nubsib

I still can't tell who Nubsib is. I feel we're lacking of information about him. Does he have any hobbies? Does he have at least one friend? Does he have a life apart from Gene? I feel like I'm watching Twilight. When Gene was driving back to his apartment and left Nubsib on the bed, I got really excited for a second we would finally see what he does in his alonetime but no, they cut to Gene and Hin's talk.

But really guys, what does Nubsib do when he's alone? Gene seems to be his hobby, his friend, his life...talking about toxicness here. And Gene still doesn't see it...

Aoey

Well, what should I say? I have no sympathy or pity left for him. I already analyzed his behavior this episode here and don't want to repeat myself.

Conclusion

This episode, again, contained a lot of angst, tension and uncomfort. Things were crashing down again and I just have to shout out to the actors and director and all of them. The scene of the break-up had me crying for 10mins and when Nubsib said "don't cry", I broke. Honestly. This made everything even more bittersweet and painful because you can feel the love they have and Nubsib still cares a lot, so he tries to comfort Gene but Gene pushes him away. It is an act of desperation. Nubsib doesn't want Gene to leave and tries to make it better but in the end Gene has made his decision.

But, but, but, what is going on with Tiffy? Why is she mistrusting Tum so much and pushes him away again? And why the hell doesn't she say anything to Aoey and believes his mindgames? Does she know something I don't? Can she tell what's real and what isn't? Because I can't and I'm usually good at reading people. And where is Mhok? Did Aoey scare him away? Did he just give up? So many questions and no answers.

I'm excited for next week!

#lovely writer #gene x nubsib #aoey #so much angst #the realism hurt #but so good

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ladybug023 · 3 years

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Ashrah x Raiden Headcanons Slightly Random

Disclaimer:

(So these are my HCs for Raiden and Ashrah. If you dislike this couple keep scrolling. I see a lot of potential for them though. If you want to see more context for my origin on Ashrah click this link.)

Ashrah’s origin link

It was a slow burn for these two. They despised each other at first. Why wouldn’t they? They were natural enemies.

He was Earthrealm’s protector, the God of Thunder and She was Shinnok’s servant and the Mistress of Demons.

They spent over millennia fighting on opposite sides.

Also Ashrah has a posh British accent in my AU so she’d always call him “Love” in a mocking way of course.

She was in charge of the warriors when NeatherRealm participated in the Mortal Kombat tournaments, she and Quan Chi would do whatever they could to sabotage Raiden and Fujin.

(Skipping in time to when she’s recovering from the Kriss, she’s living amongst the White Lotus.)

Raiden wasn’t happy about Ashrah joining the White Lotus. He wouldn’t even have allowed it if Fujin and Bo Rai Cho didn’t convince him to.

He was always suspicious of her. Not only was she a demon but one of Shinnok’s closest servants. He didn’t believe she wanted redemption. He also disliked her prideful behavior. She hated how he doubted her.

This caused them to quarrel more than a old married couple. Everyone can feel the sexual tension radiating off those two.

Raiden and Ashrah have an adorable height difference. He’s 7 feet tall and she’s 5,5.

Whenever she wanted to make a point to Raiden’s tall ass she’d simply reach up, grab the collar of his shirt, and pull him down to her eye level.

Ashrah: You listen here Thunder God! If you think for one moment that I will tolerate your criticisms, you are dead wrong!

Raiden: Ashrah-

Ashrah: Don’t you AsHRaH me Raiden!

Ashrah and Fujin on the other hand got along much better. They became close and this made Raiden jealous, although he wouldn’t admit it.

She also drinks with Bo Rai Cho sometimes but hates his terrible manners. Like his constant burping, farting, vomiting.

What makes Ashrah and Raiden good equals was that they were equally stubborn and are willing to do whatever it takes.

This is the reason that Ashrah always had respect for Raiden. Despite her seeing Earthrealm as weak, she respected his undying loyalty to it.

It even angered her when mortals question his authority.

Ashrah: All you mortals do is whine and complain. Your realm is the weakest and yet Raiden still defends you! He would sacrifice everything and everyone he holds dear just for your protection and yet you’re still ungrateful! You should feel blessed to have him!

As Ashrah spends more time with the White Lotus, she and Raiden start to get along better. He sees how hard she’s trying to be a better person.

Her disgust for mortals and humans start to soften too. She does grow to respect some mortals.

She also gets the habit of fussing over his health. She’d nag him to rest and would ask him if he’d eaten because she knows he forgets to eat sometimes.

Gods don’t need sleep or food to survive but it helps keep their energy and strength up.

Also Ashrah tends to unintentionally insult people when she tries to help them.

Ashrah: Raiden you look absolutely dreadful! Have you eaten today?!

Raiden: Well no, I haven’t had the time yet.

Ashrah: Here eat this, and rest should help with your complexion.

Raiden: Ashrah you do not need to-

Ashrah: I know I don’t need to, but it’s disgraceful for Earthrealm’s protector to look this way. You should be grateful.

Raiden: Thank you Ashrah, I appreciate your concern.

*Ashrah blushes*

Ashrah: Heh, don’t get used to it love.

Ashrah never liked children but she somehow became a maternal figure to the children of the Shao Lin this includes Kai and Kung Jin. (Ashrah supports her gay son Jin👏)

Raiden’s heart melted a bit when he saw her playing a Konghou Harp for the children. He never knew a demon could be so nurturing.

The two finally kissed one night while taking a walk through White Lotus gardens.

Ashrah is Raiden’s spitfire. She always been very feisty and that’s something he loves about her.

Her snarky comments also make him smile sometimes.

Lesser men wouldn’t be able to handle her temper and bossiness.

What Ashrah loves the most about him is he doesn’t back down to her. She also loves how heroic and good he is even if she teases him about it sometimes. She hopes one day she could be as morally just as him.

Ashrah is a demoness so naturally she’s a freak in the sheets. Kinky as hell. She’s also pretty dominant. (Ashrah gives off major dominatrix vibes) Which is fine for Raiden because he’s a switch. She shows him manyyyy different things, positions he didn’t even think were possible.

But that’s enough of that.

Ashrah secretly enjoys dancing as well and grew to love Earthrealm music not that trashy rock and roll but relaxing classical music.

Raiden catches Ashrah dancing by herself as she swayed around the room.

Raiden: Are you in need of a dance partner?

Ashrah: In Earthrealm is it not considered rude to barge into someone’s room without warning?!

Raiden: My apologies demoness, I didn’t take you for a dancer.

Ashrah: Tell anyone and I will-

Raiden: -Kill me? Claw out my eyes? Rip out my tongue?

*Raiden walks closer and wraps and arm around Ashrah’s waist. He then takes her hand and they both start swaying to the music*

Ashrah: ...Yes, but I would do it in reverse order.

*Raiden chuckles deeply and twirls her. He then pulls her back to and holds her close*

Raiden: I love you Ashrah.

*Ashrah’s face flushes and her pout turns into a soft smile. The two immortals share a kiss*

#ashrah #raiden #fujin #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat #liu kang #mortal kombat aftermath #kung jin #mk kai #bo rai cho

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thatpinkbetch · 4 years

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I'm going to answer it this way, because I'm actually not a fan of some of those, and I've heard this is the way to do it if you don't want it ending up in the tag or the search I think? If i censor any of the ship names it's not out of malice! I simply don't want any of this to end up in front of eyes that just want to enjoy their ships 💖💖💖 if there is anyone who doesn't want to see opinions against t*d*d*ku, k*r*b*ku, or even iz**ch*ka, please don't read any further! Oh my goodness i hope this is all legible...

Anyways, hello!! Thank you so much for the ask!! I love talking about my opinion avkvmsocnaocjsoxks it also makes me really happy you like my blog 🥺🥺🥺 (I hope this answer doesn't ruin that avskvneognsocjs)

I'll start out by confirming that I'm not a multishipper. It makes me excited to see how the act of shipping itself can make others happy, but it's just not that way for me. I actually never read fanfic until I got into bnha (bkdk is just that powerful 😁😁) I'm actually...a little serious when i ship, or when i enjoy media, i analyze pretty heavily, so also, if that doesn't sound like anyone's cup of tea, i would once again recommend to stop reading and enjoy your day please!

I love analyzing characters and storylines and dynamics, but i will admit, I'm not a fan of most of the ships - not romantically. I think all the characters have interesting relationships to each other, all of the kids are great friends, and I love bonds and friendships so much 🥺🥺🥺

Those first two are perhaps the biggest, at least they definitely were the biggest when I first entered. Once i caught up, I didn't really understand the enthusiasm, but people have fun shipping, so that's nice! I think of those two as easy ships, if that makes sense? They're pretty simple, and easy to digest.

I personally am not a fan of romantic t*d*d*ku for a very specific reason; it feels weird to me for Todo to immediately fall in love with the first person who's ever shown him kindness (since his mother of course). Todo had never had any friends, nor any want for friends, obviously because of the abuse he faced as a child. Mido was his first exploration at a life outside of his father, a life he got to make for himself, it just doesn't feel right to me that he should immediately think "oh, is this romantic love? Is this the one and only for me?" Well, perhaps a teenager might think that way, but i don't think that's actually how he feels deep down, and I'm sure that's something a lot of us have to learn as we grow (I've definitely struggled with my own understanding of romance for the past 8 years). I think he still is trying to learn how to socialize and to make friends and to be a friend (and he's doing SUCH a good job!) But to immediately plunge into romance, which can be complicated, i don't think that would be right for him. I hope that makes sense! I know they're a very cute ship, which makes for fun! But again, I can be a little serious when i ship...

K*r*b*ku kind of falls into similar territory for me? Baku definitely had friends growing up, but he's seemed to always have trouble understanding his feelings and where he stands with others, causing trust issues. Kiri is really the first person he knew where he stood with, a person for him to be comfortable with and feel on equal ground, which i think is such a huge and positive role in his life, and i don't necessarily think that it needs to be romantic - for both of these, i think these relationships are incredibly important, to everyone involved, and making them romantic doesn't make them any more important!! In fact, i feel like them as friends actually can offer a more complex, interesting, and human dynamic between these characters, as sometimes people simply default to romance and then end up pushing for the same old tropes and ignore all the intricacies Horikoshi includes in his writing.

Again, I love Mido's friendship with Todo, and I love Baku's friendship with Kiri. I think these relationships are incredibly important, and friends are incredibly important. People who ship them are having fun, which is so lovely, and i hope they continue to have fun! I hope you personally find more fics about them that make you smile and brighten your day 💖💖💖

Iz**ch*ka is a little difficult, because they certainly are cute, separately and together. I thought they were cutest before Ura was told about her potential crush on Mido, when she was simply a source of bubbly energy and positivity that helped Mido open up and feel comfortable around other people. I feel though that, romantically, it's extraordinarily one-sided, and at this point, i have to wonder if they really are "end goal." End goal for shounen, of course, is hardly ever explicit ahzovndlfjsoxo but i feel like a better storyline for Horikoshi to take would be for Ura to realize that she's been confused, and these feelings haven't really been a positive experience for her. I've definitely gone through things like that as a teenager. Now, the ship can be very cute! They're basically the same person, and they're cute and bubbly! But again, it simply isn't for me.

I think Momjirou is very cute!! Of course, as a lesbian, i sense strong lesbian vibes from Momo, and strong bi vibes from Jirou, and I also saw the ship potential ever since the USJ attack - which i think, so did everyone else ahaovndofjsojfsk they're best friends without a doubt, though i have to say, i really like Kamijirou. She just makes him so soft, and he's so in awe of her, and she thinks he's so funny, I love how supportive he is of her, especially since she can be really insecure 🥺🥺🥺

I also think Ura and Tsu are very cute but another easy ship, and i kind of really like Ochamina 🥺 they're both pink and space themed, they're bubbly and energetic and kick ass, and i think they'd be super cute...

I saved todobaku for last, because, you know what they say, best for last! 😇😇😇

I've said it before, but if there was no Mido (impossible obviously, and i would never want that) then todobaku is where my heart would lie. Baku has never really been shown chasing after anyone except for Mido...and Todo, which really gets at my heart. There's a grudging respect there - very, very grudging ahakckdkfjskdk which i find very appealing! Todo is very important to Baku and he has also been able to show Baku some things about himself that he needed to question and reevaluate. Meanwhile, Todo puts up with exactly 0% of Baku's shit, which i find absolutely hilarious. It's funny to me how Baku wishes to intimidate Todo as he does everyone else, and Todo simply does not care. And Baku wants to be mad, and ends up mad that he can't be mad since Todo is a strong and worthy opponent. They just have such an interesting chemistry, there's so much friction, so much tension, and I enjoy it, particularly since they clearly should be friends, would be great friends, want to be friends, but Baku simply won't get over it 😂😂 I do prefer them as friends, but friends that are incredibly close, two people that understand each other on almost a telepathic level, two people that give each other shit while also refusing to take the other's shit.

I do agree that many people in this fandom seem to think their ship stands on some moral high ground? It could be a disconnect from the previous generations of fandom, or it could also be the growing mentality on this site that everything needs to be a battle of moral superiority, and also that what you like is part of your personality, and if someone doesn't like what you like, then they don't like you or that they think you're factually incorrect. I personally have stopped going into the bn/ha tag simply because I don't enjoy, well, many things i find there, and I'm happy with those that i follow. I've definitely seen hatred and invalidation for both LGBT ships and m|w ships, neither of which I'm comfortable with. I definitely don't go off tumblr for fandom stuff because there's practically no acceptance for any same gender ships, or any queer headcanoning, which, I'll be honest, makes me scared, as i am a very anxious person avdkvndkfje i do think it should be noted that we should be as accepting of cishet ships as we are of queer ships - no debate on this one - but again, you are right when you say that many cishet headcanons have been used to invalidate LGBT voices, and any and all allies must always be aware of this! It is much more often that queer voices are silenced, that queer ships are ridiculed, that queer shippers aren't allowed to enjoy or see themselves. And to anybody that doesn't want to be an ally... Whelp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what are you doing here ajxkvmdogjdicjsicjsodj I'm gay

I haven't really read much of anything recently, let alone other ships, platonic or otherwise, because energy has been low for me for a long time. I wish i could participate more and support all my friends and other fans, but it's been a bit of a struggle 😣😣😣 I'm so sorry! Something that I can do is make posts and analyses and metas, as those are quick and make me excited, so I'm always happy to respond to asks like these! (I say as i take two hours to write this response...)

I hope people have been taking care of themselves and remember that tumblr is really good at letting you cater to your own interests! I hope if you've made it to the end of this response that you enjoyed it, and you're not mad at me ahsovjekgjsocjwodkso if you are, that's fine, I'm sorry, I probably am really bad at social/internet etiquette and such that help you filter 😣😣

To any who are curious, you cannot change my mind ahdogmdocjdidk thank you to whoever sent this ask!!! A lot of this is a bunch of rambling I've always wanted to talk about but was frankly too scared to post! I hope I made sense and answered everything you were asking!! Please have a good day/night/life!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

#bnha #bkdk #tdbk #also no i dont have a twitter ans i dont want to get one absocndofjwodjaozjsldjai #sorry i just #i can barely keep up with surviving ajsnvondofjskxnsodjsodks #anyways i really really need to go to bed #i should have 2 hours ago....#but you know #this ask got me so intrigued #im serious when i say i like thinking about and writing these things!!!#again thank you so much for asking and im sorry if you didnt get what you were looking for 😔😔😔#asks #long post

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partyinthemysterymachine · 4 years

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Macavity almost went to the Heavyside

cracks knuckles

in conjunction with Munkustrap makes the Jellicle Choice, Macavity’s play in all this is as follows:

Macavity was once a Choice that got replaced.

generally if Munkustrap makes a Choice, the intended won’t know it until just before dawn (in a silence you feel you could cut with a knife), because Deut makes that announcement. again, Deut gets the credit for making the decision, and then he summons the way to the Heavyside. (for how he knows who to choose, Deut receives a pulse of the intended’s name in his head; it’s like a disembodied whisper, a voice without any distinguishing qualities; a heartbeat that not only voices the name but shows it in text, so to speak, behind his eyes. now he can pick out the Choice and continue his duties.)

in this instance, Macavity has no relation to Deut, Munkustrap, or Tugger. he was accepted into the fold when he was barely a teenager. he arrived at the Junkyard kind of disoriented and lost. after getting him cleaned up a bit and a hot meal and some water, he mentioned that he was, indeed, lost, but he didn’t know why because he couldn’t remember where he came from.

it was deduced that he was suffering some kind of amnesia or memory blackout due to a traumatic event. the tribe took him in not really knowing if they were going to “keep him” or if they were going to let him wander away when he wanted. a couple scouts were sent out to ask around over the span of a month while other members tried to coax information out of Macavity.

the scouts got a load of nothing so the Jellicles took him in for good once Macavity expressed a desire to stay. he’d be raised amongst other kittens and teens, including Munkustrap, Tugger, Alonzo, Plato, Demeter, etc.

it’d take some good couple years for not only his new tribe and peers to get used to him, but for Macavity to feel comfortable enough to peek out of his shell. gradually the tribe saw a Macavity that was interested in participating, more talkative, had a dry sense of humor with great comedic timing, initiated conversations and actively tried to make up for lost time and find friends.

naturally it proved to be difficult to work with that considering the tribe had been dealing with a highly guarded, wary, stoic, and a little skittish kind of guy. for many, it felt like he made what felt like a total 180 overnight. this of course was not the case. little by little he tested the waters until he felt comfortable enough to be more forward. many of his beginning efforts went without being picked up on (i hesitate to say unnoticed; it’s one of those things a part of you absently acknowledges and then doesn’t fully process) by quite a few though naturally he didn’t pass under everyone’s radar.

some of the older and younger crew took note and tried to help him reach out. it was so small and gradual that when he really put himself out there it surprised others.

he’d attended Balls after his first year in the tribe; there were restrictions against it. after that, his presence at the Balls provoked a lot of anxiety at first, but he learned to enjoy them. Munkustrap took to him almost immediately was, for all intents and purposes, his first friend. so when the Ball would take place, he divided his own duties with spending time with Macavity.

Munkustrap didn’t acquire his specific role until he was about 20. however, he was born with his attunement and as he grew up, it’d be acknowledged by Deut and kept a secret between them. and as he aged, so did his powers. according to the strain of magic that he had, some expectations of what would develop when were already lined out. one could say Munkustrap developed early in some of these points, and one of his earliest was perception.

he latched onto Macavity because he felt static from him; weak static, but magical nonetheless. (”magic” doesn’t accurately describe Munkustrap’s abilities but does fit other categories that the cats could possibly possess, for the sake of avoiding too much confusion, it has to persist for now.) so far, no one else in the tribe was also attuned, so he was excited and eager to make a friend that did.

Munkustrap could never really pin the specifics on what Macavity’s powers entailed/what he was capable of. it’s still a mystery. however, what he did notice is that Macavity’s static went from a tremble to something worthy of a boom box. in their adulthood and after Macavity’s leave from the tribe, Munkustrap would come to find that Macavity’s static would steadily climb to a deafening quality.

until then, things went on. Munkustrap had been making the Choice for a handful of years at this point. Macavity had picked up on Something about him, though neither ever broached the topic of being attuned. (they had a hard enough time trying to figure out if the other one was feeling the same way they were. dumb gay problems)

in a rare instance that would only likely repeat itself one or two times thereafter, Munkustrap’s attention was directed to the devastating potential that he’d have to make Macavity a Chosen. while it takes a full year from the end of one Ball to the following year’s announcement to pick a Choice, Munkustrap had to continuously keep tabs on whatever was telling him that Macavity would be in line soon.

after about two years, it was clear that Macavity was next up for the Heavyside, and Munkustrap knew why. one of the burdens to bear of his attunement is that he gets the pinpointed reason why someone is Chosen. the two years leading up to Macavity’s ascension were strange and jumbled while Munkustrap received a whole slew of confusing feelings, perceptions, and inward chatter about him. ofc this impacted his personality and suchlike, and while others expressed concern, he attributed it to this or that and bounced back.

Macavity, on the other hand, refused to be fooled. things were getting much closer between the two and they were teetering right on the edge of going from friends to lovers, and then suddenly Munkustrap was backing off. so there was so much confusion, hurt, tension, awkward dancing around something they couldn’t explain or comprehend, but Munkustrap didn’t want to get (further, irreparably) attached (too late tbh) to Macavity if he was going to have to send him to the Heavyside.

that Ball had a weird vibe for most of them. it wasn’t a severe feeling, but something was just a tiny bit Off; enough to get members a smidge uncomfortable. as the time to announce drew closer, Munkustrap was scrambling to find a replacement, someone else, anybody else, knowing he was being selfish but-- couldn’t he be selfish just for once?

worse, Macavity picked up on it. Munkustrap was too busy to notice that Macavity had been watching him closely all night (the week leading up to the Ball has been a very suspicious one to him; unfortunately, Munkustrap being so scattered combined with his Perception not being fully developed left him more vulnerable than he would have liked).

it’s hard to say for certain if that was the night he actually figured out what Munkustrap was in his entirety. Munkustrap had been conducting himself oddly towards Macavity all week and especially that night; his guard was breaking down. he went from delicate and tender to trying to be a tough guy and push down his feelings and swung between those and any middle ground at an exhausting (for both of them) rate. so as they were called to gather around Deut, Macavity caught Munkustrap’s eye and he saw absolute fear, regret, and loss.

perhaps it was due to the weakened state that Munkustrap had put himself in, or the build-up of Macavity’s set of abilities that allowed him a couple ticks more power to needle past Munkustrap’s barriers (and later Macavity would come to find that containment would be necessary to produce an ideal outcome on a case to case basis, but i digress), but he learned that he was meant to be that year’s Choice.

it scared him too, and also filled him with relief. Munkustrap saw that. Macavity was scared, he was too young for his time to be up, there was too much between them and too much to do, things unsaid-- and he was ready to go. he wanted to go. and Munkustrap was crushed. selfishness (and spite) took over then and was late for the projection to Deuteronomy (causing some awkwardness for how long it was taking) but he sacrificed someone else to keep Macavity on the ground,

that would be his first disobedience to the Heavyside.

this ignited resentment, hate, hurt-- just a slew of emotions that resulted in a fight between them (after, y’know, avoiding each other for a few days and making others worry).

oh, the fight. the fight would be a surprise debut of what was lurking behind all that static.

#ches writes #ches writes stuff #macavity #cats musical #cats the musical #munkustrap #headcanons #and THAT is some lore i just pulled right out of my ass #i'm gonna go diggin for more

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immaculate-benediction-batch · 5 years

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Sorry this is so long......How TV Creators Are Handling Subtext And Shipping

TV series creators have a hard time not tailoring content towards a strictly heteronormative audience, refusing to lean in to queer context, no matter howlarge an LGBTQ following a show may have.

Once a fictional character is put out for public consumption, it ceases to be the one thing it’s described as on paper. This is especially the case with TV and film, where said character goes through so many hands before hitting the screen and becoming public property.

There are three kinds of creators when it comes to queer content on TV. The first (and sadly, most typical) is the creator who will deny any intention of creating queer content, and who will also refuse to acknowledge a queer audience’s interpretation., This often results in an instant backlash, as the Supergirlcast and creators experienced after an embarrassing interview with MTV last summer. When prompted to recap the latest season, the cast broke into a cringeworthy song that mocked fans’ interest in the Supergirl/Lena Luthor pairing, with Jeremy Jordan repeatedly exclaiming that the two will never get together. It continued despite Katie McGrath’s attempt to save the interview saying, “The great thing about what we do is, like any art, anyone can read into it what they want.” Chris Wood then chimed in with “Sexuality is all about others’ perception of yours, right?”

Supergirl is a show with a large female following that from the beginning has gravitated toward the female relationships it portrays, with emphasis on those relationships with strong queer energy. At first, there was a group of internet fans that were drawn to the chemistry between Melissa Benoist and Calista Flockhart, which was maximized due to the characters’ intense mentor/mentee relationship, and that was fine, and for the most part went unacknowledged by the show.

However, upon Flockhart’s exit, Lena Luthor was introduced, played by Katie McGrath. Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor became fast friends, and fans’ fascination with Supergirl’s queer vibes grew strong enough for the the cast to take notice. One would think that by having Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer, two queer characters already in their orbit, fan speculation about others wouldn’t be such an inconvenience that it would have to be addressed by aggressively singing “They’re only friends!” over and over, as if the pairing were unfathomable.

But Supergirl hasn’t been the only show to outright reject queer interpretations. In fact, a few years back, the long-running series Supernatural was called out by its fans for purposefully inserting homoerotic subtext within storylines pertaining to male characters Dean and Castiel, and for rather indirectly addressing said subtext in interviews. In one of them, Misha Collins (Castiel) stated that in certain scenes with Jensen Ackles (Dean) he was directed to portray his character as a “jilted lover.”

During a Toronto Con panel in 2013, it was revealed that a line was changed by Ackles — who last year specifically requested no questions about the popular pairing be allowed during the Q portion of a panel for the show at New Jersey Con–from “I love you” to “We’re family. I need you” because the Actor didn’t think it suited his character. Despite fandom’s interest in the pairing, it hasn’t been enough for Supernaturalto follow through with an actual queer storyline, aside from the one recurring lesbian character, Charlie, who was ultimately killed off. It turns out our tolerance for queerbaiting does have its limits.

Another show that failed to address the sapphic energy between its leads, in effect rejecting a great opportunity to add a bonus layer to an already complex relationship between two women, was Damages. The thriller starred Glenn Close as powerhouse prosecutor Patty Hewes, and Rose Byrne as her protégée, Ellen Parsons. The series went on for five seasons and throughout, though it benefitted from incredible writing, its highlight was clearly the tension and undecipherable relationship between Patty and Ellen.

While there was never any doubt that their connection was what kept the the show’s palpable tension dial at a 10, anytime the subject was brought up to either cast or creators it was denied or waved off as “wishful thinking,” as Glenn Close put it. When pressed further, she added, “I think there’s something seductive about Patty and she just seduces people and she’ll lead people on. I think that can come across as pure seduction.”

With Person of Interest, Sameen Shaw (Sarah Shahi) and Root (Amy Acker) first connected under very unique, very dark circumstances in which one was holding the other against their will in a life threatening situation. But there was a sizzle there that the audience immediately responded to, and while both cast and writers admitted that was not their intention, something amazing happenedthey took that audience reaction and ran with it. In the end, Shaw and Root’s romance became one of the show’s more compelling storylines.

Jane the Virgin did the same. When a character, Petra, who wasn’t intentionally written as queer read queer to LGBTQ viewers, the writers saw no problem taking the interpretation and adopting it as canon. After years of keeping Petra as a sort of peripheral player within Jane/Rafael storylines, the character of Jane Ramos was introduced as Petra’s defense attorney and eventual love interest.

The third type of creator is everyone’s favorite. This is the one that takes whatever gay subtext or context there is, embraces it, and expands upon it, recognizing that it’s there from the beginning. In the Flesh and Killing Eve are true representatives of queer entertainment that isn’t trying to steer its characters toward a path they weren’t organically wanting to go.

In the Flesh, a BAFTA-award winning series from BBC 3, was easily one of the best shows that no one watched; a zombie show with depth, which isn’t easy to accomplish. The story takes place years after a virus epidemic that turned the infected into flesh-eating monsters is cured, and the rehabilitated are returning home. Its main character is Luke, one of the former infected, suffering from memories of the terrible things he did while sick, and tortured by his own suicide, which was prompted by the loss of love interest, Rick.

The series ran for only two seasons, with a total of nine episodes. It was inventive and creative and stands as one of the greats right next to shows like Hannibal and The Exorcist, which was unfortunately canceled by Fox this year after only two seasons of sacrilege, beautiful cinematography, Alfonso Herrera (Sense8) and a bisexual Father Marcus, played by Ben Daniels.

Killing Eve is a female-led thriller that proves that the secret to making great TV is treating characters like human beings with the capacity to change. Eve, who, when we meet her, is living a life that doesn’t seem particularly terrible, whose marriage appears to be solid, her job secure, is lured into potentially life threatening situations for the sake of following her inexplicable attraction to a female assassin. As if beneath the surface there is a dormant unrest that is awakened with the arrival of Villanelle in her life, and though she does not stop to examine exactly what she expects to get from it, she craves and wants more of these moments that have stirred her awake. She’s both excited and frightened by Villanelle’s audaciousness, by the intrusion into her life,

both figuratively and literally.

The season’s got a few episodes left, yet the most compelling, and most attentively queer moment is part of the fifth episode, in which the two women finally come face to face in Eve’s home. Eve is sopping wet in a gorgeous dress Villanelle’s purchased for her, she’s cold and visibly uncomfortable, therefore Villanelle suggests Eve should change, before proceeding to peel the dress off her herself. It is a scene that doesn’t downplay the very real danger Eve is in by having Villanelle in her home. However there is also an erotic aspect to it that is very purposeful, and as series creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge points out, the attraction is definitely mutual, “I knew that the first moment they see each other. I labeled that moment as ‘love at first sight.’ But I didn’t want it to be constrained to romance, or to lust, or anything like that. There’s something waking in Eve every day that she spends imagining what this woman is doing.”

This type of storytelling allows characters to evolve the way that they want to evolve as opposed to forcing them into a first page description. There is loyalty to the authenticity of the story, which comes from meticulous attention paid to the writing, which Waller-Green explains is all about going against cliché: “The moment something feels predictable, there’s a roar in me to just go to the most surprising place. I don’t want to bore myself.”

Often times, when female queer characters are introduced, it is done in order to titillate, and their storylines are the product of a male gaze fantasy. Killing Eve manages to avoid all of that with Villanelle, a character who seems to have no specific preference when it comes to sexual partners, and yet doesn’t feel the need to use her sexuality to get what she wants. In addition to that and the meaty tension between the two leads (Villanelle and the titular Eve, played by Sandra Oh), the attention paid to the very queer theme of the show is evident in backstories of characters that would normally go without one, like that of Eve’s former boss and best friend Bill, an older man in a heterosexual relationship who casually reveals he’s loved “hundreds” of men, much to Eve’s surprise, and further reveals he is in an open relationship, and happily so.

The series proves not only that queer characters are marketablethe BBC series was renewed for a second season before the first even airedbut that straight creators are capable of writing queer content that isn’t offensive or over-sexualized. Phoebe Waller-Bridge credits the authenticity of the series to a collaborative effort, stating, “Because it’s all about the characters, the little details that link the two worlds, everyone’s really made it a psychological piece rather than just an artistic painting of two different people’s worlds,” but it really just goes to show that that negative aspects of queer representation that include the dreaded male gaze perspective can be avoided as long as the bar is set high enough by the showrunner.

It only takes a little bit of creativity and imagination, and a willingness to challenge the idea that heterosexual-based television makes for the best and most successful stories.

Alex Velazquez is a writer, photographer, and queer Mexican living in Los Angeles, CA.

#sherlock #killing eve #supernatural #supergirl #queerbaiting #shipping #lgbt #in the flesh #jane the virgin #person of interest

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underwaterwoods · 4 years

Text

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character.

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ... /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities.

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul.

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too.

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that.

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least.

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it.

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

#tros spoilers #tros reaction #3 #4 #5 #mtp #the rise of skywalker #star wars #this is messy as hell #just getting some thoughts down

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smnthchrstn · 5 years

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“Call me Wilhemina” Part 2 | Venable x reader

author’s note: @taciales asked me long ago to write a venable x reader and i’m so sorry it took so long, but i wanted it to be something i’m really proud of. this is a direct sequel to my original one-shot “Call me Wilhemina” which can be found by clicking any word in this sentence. unlike my others, this one-shot contains some smutty themes and i’m very nervous and excited to share this. (listen this is my first time ever writing something like this, so please don’t get on me. it is not super detailed, but i tried my best!) the word count is 2,569. thank you, i hope you like it.

check out more of my writing here.

The tension at the outpost had been actively increasing. Wilhemina's eyes always seemed to be locked in your direction, no matter the circumstance. Dare you even say, she'd been giving you the same watchful glances she'd typically reserve for Ms. Miriam Mead. You felt as if you'd figured out the world's biggest secret. The intimidating and often disciplinary Ms. Venable had a soft side deep within, one you barely saw a tiny glimpse of weeks before, when you'd caught her during a moment of weakness. She would consider that a moment of weakness. You cherished even somewhat having Venable's trust. It felt like an awfully difficult thing to gain and you hadn't been given the opportunity since. You'd assumed that Mead had gone back to her regular duties after her robotic meltdown, meaning she'd essentially gone back to being Ms. Venable's bitch. The sapphic vibes you'd always received from the lady didn't cease - she seemed to be as close with Mead as ever, something that ultimately rubbed you the wrong way. Something within you craved to get to know the still somewhat mysterious woman - but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't seem to get her alone.

Until one day, the other bunkers planned on having some kind of gathering in the main room, basically meaning a little extra time and the whole discography of the "Carpenters" chosen by Mr. Gallant. The openly gay one clearly had the best taste in music, although you kind of thought that everyone had to know by now that he'd most likely inherited his grandmother's taste in music. Instead of being forced into hearing another horrifying tale from Coco, recalling yet another time when she'd made Mallory gag her, so she could meet her calorie allowance for the day, you'd decided to opt out and go elsewhere instead. You physically couldn't take it and thought your ears would potentially bleed if you had to hear Mallory praise Coco even once more. The heterosexuality displayed at all times by Timothy and Emily also proved to be way too much for you to handle day in and day out. So, on the day of the gathering, you had different plans.

The library seemed like the safest option. You'd read so many of those books already, you almost found it challenging to find something you'd actually enjoy. You heard voices near the double doors leading into the library. "I'll go keep an eye on the others. You join us once you've finished up." You knew that voice. Mead would be going with the others. You flattened yourself up against the wall, your heart quickening slightly at the thought of being caught eavesdropping. The punishments were unusually harsh and even you didn't want to get in any trouble and certainly didn't want to be banished or sent away from everyone else. You heard the sound of her heels clicking against the floor with each step she took. It didn't take very long for your untied shoelace to forsake you, tripping you and resulting in a big crash into a rack of magazines. "Are you okay?" the voice belonging to the clicks finally asked, finding her way to you beneath the stacks of magazines. "Yes - sort of. I'm not the most poised." You looked up, taking in every inch of Ms. Wilhemina Venable. "Clearly." She extended her hand to help you up and when she gave your hand a little squeeze, you thought you had to be imagining it. She let go and began assisting you in picking up the dozens of magazines that had landed on the floor due to your collision. "Thanks. Shouldn't you be getting ready for - whatever's happening out there?" you asked. "Shouldn't you be minding your own business?" Wilhemina asked, a tiny smile on her face. "Okay."

You hovered for a moment, eyes happening to land on Ms. Venable's behind - a place you somehow hadn't had the opportunity to look before. "You look radiant, but you should know that you have a piece of hair out of place," you spoke up. You faced her again and carefully pushed the piece of hair away. A blush covered the older woman's face. "Radiant? Only radiant?" The surge of confidence surprised you, although it probably shouldn't have. She studied you with a fond expression. "You look as if you're expecting something," you pointed out with a bit of hesitance. You could feel her staring, but you weren't quite sure as to where the peculiar woman had settled her eyes. She seemed to want to say something, but no words left her lips. In what seemed like a split-second, Wilhemina had leaned in and you knew - you understood. You made the quick decision to close your eyes just as the woman in purple pressed her lips to yours. They felt unusually soft - and you couldn't help but wonder if the rest of her skin felt as supple. The kiss almost stopped shortly after it had commenced. You made the quick act to kiss Wilhemina back - and not only with a single peck. You were fearful and didn't know what could potentially happen if you placed a finger on the sophisticated woman. When Venable leaned forward to return the kiss - you both pulled away after being spooked by a knock at the door. The powerful woman cleared her throat, stepping back. "Yes?" she asked, walking away quickly to give attention to the stranger at the library's doors. When Ms. Venable stepped away, you gave yourself a moment to regain your breath. You'd imagined it so many times before. You moved your fingertips over your lips, thinking about what you'd felt only a moment or two earlier. You could still taste her chap stick on your mouth and could taste the sweet remnant of her saliva.

You spent the majority of the day consumed by the kiss. You remembered it so well, but also not nearly enough. "We are lucky enough to have crackers - if you'd be kind enough to pass them out - thank you, thank you," Gallant said, handing a box of Saltines off to Mallory. "No, Mallory. I need you," Coco demanded, tugging at the young girl's arm. "Here, you do this," Coco decided, shoving the crackers off on you and pulling Mallory away. You started to pass them out while the others mingled with each other. "Aw, you should've let me do your hair," Gallant started to say. You shoved a Saltine in his mouth, hoping to silence him and began walking away to go back to your room. You weren't paying attention and collided with another being in the hallway, finding yourself on the floor again - and this time it really didn't surprise you. "You are unbelievably graceless," the strong voice spoke again, even though you could tell she'd been trying her hardest to stifle her laughter. Imagine that - you'd made her laugh. "Your hair looks atrocious. Maybe, I can help," she offered, holding her hand out again.

'The next time he offers, maybe take it. You look like you've just woken up." You could almost hear the smile playing on Wilhemina's lips. She found it all so amusing - and you couldn't help but find the situation a bit amusing, too. "You're awfully preoccupied with my hair," you stated softly. You could hear the fire crackling in the pit, your eyes being drawn to the flickering. "Do you remember the first time I took your hair down in this room?" you asked, closing your eyes. You felt your soul sinking at the feeling of Ms. Venable's hands in your hair - stroking, brushing, running - your senses in an overload. "Yes," she responded slowly. "I do remember." You paused briefly, thinking carefully about your next words. You licked your lips a little. "Why did you kiss me?" Wondering if you'd asked a ludicrous question, you began to develop anxiety about it all - feeling the small knots twist and turn in your stomach. "I wanted to," she stated simply. You didn't quite know how to react to that. Venable's hands moved from your hair to your shoulders. "I don't think I like this dress on you." You looked up, turning around just enough to meet her eyes. "I can agree about my hair - but really, do you have to insult my dress too?" you asked, a bit offended by the comment. She cleared her throat some. "I said, I don't think I like this dress on you," she repeated, emphasizing the word that managed to change the meaning of the entire sentence. The knots in your stomach turned to moths - not quite as beautiful as butterflies, but still swarming within you. "And what are you going to do about that?" you asked, a bit of pride to your tone. Something shimmered in the older woman's eyes and everything started to unfold before you.

The dresses made things undeniably difficult. Wilhemina had decided almost immediately that you absolutely needed to be stripped of all your clothes. She stood you up, her body taking over and your body reacting hastily - automatically pushing and pulling against the other woman. You lifted your arms when she pulled at them and turned around as she started unlacing your dress. You breathed heavily, almost itching to touch her again. "Faster," you ordered. She unlaced you and slid off your dress before working on the corset you had on underneath it. Once you were stripped down to your undergarments, you started removing the pins from Wilhemina's hair. Her lips crashed against yours again - and you didn't stop to think, only wanting to reach for her out of instinct.

Petite arms led you to the bed, pushing you back onto it. "Turn around, lady," you commanded, voice laced with lust. Your fingers moved gently and caringly down Venable's back. It took everything in you to abstain from tracing down it. You wanted to give it love so badly - but the rest of her body first. You slipped her dress off and barely had time to think before she'd pushed you back into place again, giving you zero time to even consider reaching out and taking off her undergarments. You slid your hand down her arm, nails scratching at the skin tenderly. She kissed you again, tugging at your bottom lip and nabbing it between her teeth. You slyly slipped your tongue in her mouth, deepening the kiss. Your heart pounded as she knocked you onto your back. Venable broke the kiss, beginning to pepper kisses against your neck, sucking and biting at the most tender of places. You took advantage of the freedom your arms had, continuing to work on taking her hair down. The older woman continued moving down, leaving love bites against your breasts - being careful around the sensitive skin.

The lower Wilhemina traveled, the harder your heart raced and the more your body reacted. She maneuvered down your stomach, leaving marks anywhere she pleased and feeling you melt in her capable hands. Your insides ached more than they'd ever ached before. Her lips moved over your hips and you couldn't stop the twitching inside. You sucked in a deep breath, even though you knew that couldn't help you. "Take it off, take it off," you urged her. She looked back at you, meeting your eyes and wanting to guarantee that you were okay with this. Venable moved slightly, reaching across and setting her hands near both hips. You started moving a little, itching for her to take it off as soon as possible. She cupped a hand over your intimate area, feeling the dampness of your underwear. Normally that would've embarrassed you, but in this case it only made your feelings worsen. "Please?" you asked again. You didn't want to sound too needy, but you didn't want to go back now. She pulled them off and tossed them aside, pulling the blanket to cover the lower half of your body. The fire didn't always keep things as warm, especially in the bedrooms at night. It took mere seconds for her to reach under the blanket before inserting two fingers into your opening. You felt your body go off like a switch, and pushing forward - yearning for the woman you'd adored for so long and wanting her to keep going. "Don't worry," you assured her. You didn't even know why she'd be hesitant, after all. She always seemed to be exploding at the seams with confidence. Your body pulsated and with each movement Wilhemina made, growing quicker and quicker as she touched just the right spot, you could feel your body giving in more and more. The discomfort you were feeling previously began to subside the more she touched you. With each stroke of her finger and with each touch, you melted more and more. Only when she quickened the pace one more time, you finally felt your body quaking. Your breaths were heavy as the woman pulled back a little. "You're okay?" she questioned. "Of course, of course. Holy shit," you breathed. The older woman looked down at the sheets, satisfied with her own work when she realized how soaked they were. You shut your eyes for a few minutes, needing to regain your sanity.

"Do you want me to -" you started to ask. "No, no," she answered, a bit too quickly and you didn't fully understand why. "Why not?" you asked, sitting up once she seemed to turn away. "You aren't leaving, are you?" you questioned. "Aren't we done here?" the woman asked. "I - you. What?" you asked again, a little dumbfounded by her question. "Don't you want me to touch you? Where are you going? Come back here," you said, getting slightly possessive. "You can't just come in here and do that and then leave." Venable took a seat near the end of the bed, refusing to allow her back to be faced to you. "Turn around," you ordered. "Come here." When she refused to turn around, you sat up and faced her. "Wilhemina." Her eyes flickered a little, and she looked away from yours. "Who said you could call me that?" she asked. "You did," you chuckled. "Let me see you, turn around." You moved your hands to her shoulders, caressing her skin softly. "Why don't you want me to make you feel good? You did so much for me, let me do the same for you," you whispered in her ear. Ms. Venable bit her lip, turning around slightly. "You should know by now that I'm not going to hurt you," you reminded her. "You're so beautiful," you breathed, running your hand down the woman's spine. "I'll be gentle, I don't want to hurt you. I've been dying to do this since we met," you whispered, breathing gently against her skin. "I'm not beautiful," the woman responded, a tint of uncertainty to her voice. "Of course you're beautiful, you're breathtaking," you assured her, finally taking the rest of her pins out. "Look at you. You're strong, you're powerful - and you're undeniably gorgeous," you mumbled, planting kisses down her back. You could sense her uncertainty, especially when she quivered each time you touched her back. "I promise, okay? I know it doesn't mean anything now, but maybe it will someday. You're a work of art, Ms. Venable," you assured the woman again. "An absolute masterpiece." Her shoulders relaxed at your words. "I told you - you can call me Wilhemina."

#venable x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #venable fic #venable #wilhemina venable #ahs apocalypse #my ficx #venable imagine

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aggresivelyfriendly · 6 years

Photo

~Who Names The Colors~

Good Morning Lovers-I’m 12 hours early, because I’m takin my babies to the beach and am not sure when I’ll be back!! Are we all on fire from gucci? I hope this throws on some gasoline!! Scream at me, send me messages, songs,etc!!!

He’s much younger than her, but nobody is anywhere near illegal! Hope you enjoy!

I owe very much alot to @bleedinglove4h, @nocontrolforlouis, and @dirtystyles-who made the banner.

November 2014

"But that's not art, that's porn!" The girl in the front row was ready to stamp her foot, and there was part of Jo that agreed. Koons' Made In Heaven series was made to be deliberately pornographic. It was certainly made to titillate, but mostly to challenge norms, which made it art. Before Jo could say any of this someone spoke up.

"That's the point." Harry's lazy drawl tumbled out. She didn't look at him, though he had continued to sit front and center in her class. Jo did her best not to, she knew her eyes would linger and the distance she nearly crossed in her studio and had worked hard to reassert would be gone entirely. Today's class on eroticism in art, which she had taught matter of factly for three years, felt like a mine field. Jo kept her eyes off Harry though she usually liked to look at the speaker, she could not put her eyes on him without remembering all the other things she wanted to spread over him. Everybody else was looking at him, anyway. Maybe because he was relatively quiet in class. Harry responded when called upon, but Jo avoided that too. He still always caused a stir and Jo had found out from eavesdropping on her students, his art was known, and his eclectic style and perceived mysterious ways added to his mystique. Jo who had known him when, knew he wasn't being deliberately aloof, but was shy and introverted, and occasionally self conscious, saw his choices for what they were. He dressed the way he did, as armor, a display to appear braver than he was. Based on everybodies' obvious interest in him, it was working.

The girl who had spoken, Lara, Jo recalled, and her friend, Cecilia, loved to chat about Harry, and tried to catch his eye whenever they could. He didn't notice of course. Jo wondered if he was aware of what he looked like, the pull of his gravitas, and power of his presence. She'd think it was just her because of her 'feelings' if she didn't see everybody and hear some of the responses to him.

Lara looked completely confused. She was miffed that Harry had disagreed with her but Jo could see the excitement simmering that he was paying attention to her at all, that his eyes were on her as he participated in the discussion that she initiated.

"It's meant to be provocative, and you're lookin at it with today's eyes, which is anachronistic. This was 1990 or something. Seeing graphic sex was totally counter-cultural and pornography was a lightening rod. Like gay rights now- or trans issues.It would be like someone using a trans couple now."

Lara's face twisted a bit and Jo watched Harry bow up. "That would be porn too!" She said with barely concealed disgust.

Harry looked red in the face and Jo realized that the discussion had wondered into activist territory for him. She wanted to hear what he had to say, but didn't want him to blow.

"Harry is right," She interrupted with her professor hat on. "Though Koons is a controversial figure- it is a huge part of his schtick, the context of a piece can be what defines it as art. For instance, why is a collection of neon soup cans or spattered paint art?" Jo was trying to steer the conversation.

Harry's shoulders were heaving a little and she saw him shoot a not so nice look at Lara and pick up his iced coffee violently. She was actually glad for the turn of the conversation. Jo and Harry had a meeting today and the vibe of earlier was not how she wanted to go into office hours with him after their last time alone. Without a break in the tension, she knew she would be saying his name. But that crisis seemed to be averted. As was her very tiny, largely ignored fear that Harry may have noticed or liked Lara. She was lovely, he should like her, respond to her interest. Her little green eyed monster cheered when Lara again chimed in response to her question and put another nail in the coffin.

"Well, I'm not sure they are art!" Jo shamefully cheered inside at Harry's huff at Lara's statement.

His face twisted and it was clear he wanted to engage in the conversation again, but then another student started talking about abstraction and automatic art theory and the class had totally moved of the original topic but it was great. She was enjoying the ping ponging opinions in the classroom. She sat of her desk and smiled when by a crazy turn of events Lara was defending Warhol. Somehow Jo's eyes caught Harry's. He still looked frustrated but he lit up a little at whatever he saw on her face and she nodded.

She was wondering if he'd want to talk about his frustration in their meeting- she wanted to. But it had little to do with his work or his final project that they were still trying to determine and everything to do with curiosity. Jo wanted to know things like that about Harry. When he was younger and would watch her, he would ask questions and she would answer, but they didn't talk about much beyond art.

They had reversed places, in office hours, he talked and responded to her questions and she listened. Harry had been an actively creating artist for years whereas Jo had been simply dabbling. The role reversal was exciting. But Jo found that when he talked about his process she wanted to hear about his influences and his influences made her want to hear about him.

She wanted to talk about exactly why the Lara interaction had soured his mood so. Though the acidic tingle of the conversation meant Jo would be able to hear it rather than watching his lips curls and pout while he talked. That was helpful. Jo glanced at her watch, the smart one that yelled at her for sitting to paint for more than one hour at a time. Class was over technically and Jo would have let them continue talking about whether art could be high culture and pop culture at the same time. They had just gotten into Lady Gaga and Jo was living. And that was bringing them back to whether art could be low culture as well she could feel that they would get back to porn and erotic art and she was sad she was going to have to put an end to it.

There was another class who needed the space, but Jo was loving the class. Even Harry seemed to have perked up and was talking about Gaga and her relation to Warhol and she had to call time, because she could see the grumpy old lass who taught first year art history at the window. She, Victoria Persuppins, was not Jo's biggest fan, apparently she had an eye on Jo's work space and was happy to be the only female art faculty member, until Jo. She had especially side eyed Jo once she had started dating another faculty member and had a baby. How dare she! Jo wanted to roll her eyes at her displeased face. But instead.

"Sorry, guys, that is our time for today-though I could listen to you all go on all night!" She smiled huge at everybody, and they all smiled back, including Lara, but especially Harry. Jo had caught his eye when she scanned through the first time and she wanted to stay and look at his giant dimples. She made eye contact with everybody, but her eyes went right back to Harry and even when the rest of the student had moved on to looking at each other and packing up, a few even sprinting from class, he was still waiting for her gaze. Harry's eyes were glowing and she wanted to measure his asymmetry, the difference in his dimples. She loved that one was so much bigger than the other. It would make for a really cool cubist imitation, like the sides of his face could be pronated in. And she was still staring at him, and Harry her.

She packed up quick then. He came to stand by her desk while Professor Victoria, long may she reign, shouldered her way into the same area. Victoria was giving them a suspicious glance. Jo didn't like that one bit. There was a student waiting on Professor Persuppins too, a male one. It pissed Jo off that her age, and she would admit, looks, or maybe Harry's, made this bitch immediately look for impropriety. There had been none. Not for a year and he had been nowhere near her professionally then.

Jo looked up with a squished brow when Harry said "Professor Smith, our meeting?" and he looked like he was afraid of her. It's an act. "I'd really like to retake the test, please." He's laying it on thick, but bitchfessor looked impressed and Jo wondered how he knew that would work.

She played along, "I have office hours, and I need a real reason I should give you another chance, not just because you need me to, Mr. Styles. Everybody had the same opportunity and time to study." And Victoria nodded at her, and her mind was blown.

They got a safe distance down the hall and Jo looked at Harry and they both burst out laughing, startling the student sat outside another office waiting.

"Sorry!" Harry stage whispered, and gave her a boyish giggle as he opened the door to her office. She fell in and Harry closed the door behind her and pressed his wiggling nose into her back and the shift in mood was sudden like the earth had tilted on its axis. For just a second, she stayed there and pressed back into his nose, and he coasted it up her spine. The shiver that he caused, and neither of them can pretend it didn't happen, because he was basically against her from ass to shoulder, and it's not chilly, was like biting into ice cream. Her teeth hurt. Jo breathed one breath and smelled her office smells, the old books and wood, and remembered her office, and the look on her colleagues face and her umbrage at Victoria's assumption. Jo took a step forward and put the desk between them.

To break them both out of it, and to remind herself of what just happened and how it can't happen again. "What was that? Didn't know you were also an actor." And she forced a giggle to glance over the fact that he just touched her and she let him, loved it.

"Oh," he let out a breath and pursed his lips. Jo saw a quick shake of his head, and he sat in the chair across from her and she copied him and tried not to shift around to much. Harry was fixing his skinny jeans, and she busied herself putting papers she had collected away. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him pull the crotch of his pants down. Fuck. "Oh," He started again, "I had her my first semester, and I was totally a fuck up for the first couple weeks. I'd just discovered girls--"

"What do you mean, just discovered girls?" Ethan was well aware of girls for ages before university.

"What I said. Most of college, I was kinda confused, because like I noticed earlier, when all the boys started talking about girls, that I thought they were nice, like the nicest to look at, but I really liked a boy." He was looking at her dead in the eye. Like he was daring her to respond to him, but he was gripping the sides of his chair, so Jo knew he was afraid of it to. "But I wasn't the best student in Professor Persuppin's class, she doesn't seem to believe in second chances. Got the lowest grade I ever got in her class. Thought I'd just play on her perception of me." He still looked worried about Jo's perception of him now. She was still going over his revelation.

"Oh!" Jo thought and it escaped through her mouth too. "Oh!" She said again. His cheeks pinked up, and Jo reached across the desk for his hand. He pried it from where it lay and she got herself together to speak, while she took it. "Sorry, I was just putting two and two together to make four. That's why Ethan never had to stop bringing you round, cuz you weren't attracted to me." She boggled at that, all evidence to the contrary now.

"Well, I thought you were very pretty and the nicest, but when I really like someone, I, like, can't seem to see anybody else when I'm feeling that. And it's why I was so crazy first year, this whole new world of flavors and shapes had opened up, and I wasn't hung up on anybody anymore. I really liked it, sampled a lot. Did that most of that year until it was normal and not so revelatory and exciting. Dated but hadn't really been hugely attracted until," he looked at their joined hands. "But I'm still me, and when I find one person who is compelling, that's where my attention or whatever fixates." And he made long eye contact, and Jo heard what he wasn't saying clear as a bell.

"So you had a boyfriend?"

"Not really, He didn't like me the way I liked him. But it went on for me for ages. I was just finally over it when I got to uni, and I got a bit drunk during freshers and this gorgeous girl kissed me, and I, just really liked the feel of her in my hands." Jo slowly released his hand at that. Because they had wandered into dangerous territory and she needed a break. Also, the thought of his hands on anybody else made her feel like Tinkerbell, only able to feel one thing at a time, and this one matched the fairy's outfit. Harry turned his mouth down and made a face like the displeased one in class, without the anger.

"Oh!" Jo said again, like an idiot. "That's why you got mad in class, at Lara."

"Yeah, Lara!" he said with loathing. And Jo was sure that even it he thought she was the prettiest girl in class, in all of the school, he wouldn't go for her. "She's a prig, and maybe a little homophobic. Saw that enough in college! At first, it was confusing for me. It seemed totally normal to me, to be attracted to boys, and then I realized I was the odd man out and that I was supposed to hide it. And I'm horrible at hiding things, especially my feeling. I have a glass face. I wanted to tell everybody, especially when the attraction seemed returned, but you can't do that around most people and it fucked everything up.... It's why," and he shut himself like a door slam. "Anyway, I can't stand it. The idiocy just makes me crazy, and I am around it less so have no tolerance. And how do you get to third year of an art degree with such a tiny mind? Arts always attract the outsiders and especially lgbt folk." He looked genuinely offended and curious.

But Jo knew enough about not being what people expected and narrow minds in every place from her own life to no longer be surprised, "I dunno, she seemed to be opening up at the end. Martha's explanation of automatic art was really good, and Lara seemed to be on board, at least with Expressionism. And she bought into pop art thanks to Gaga." And Jo is laughing at his face.

"That is supposed to be the other way around!" Harry looked offended.

"Oi, now you are a being a snob!" She was laughing in earnest now.

"Me a snob!" He gave her chicken neck, "And did you just Oi me, Jo?"

"I did, I definitely did!" She was giggling into her hand and he was grinning and his hand was still on the desk and he reached for her fingers and pulled them from her mouth.

"Why do you do that? Cover your mouth when you really laugh." His face was like a child looking at a magician's handkerchief, trying to see the secret.

Why did she do that? Her mother telling her that she laughed like a donkey brayed stuck out, and a comment Ethan's dad had made about her teeth. But she said, "I dunno. Habit really."

"You shouldn't! I remember that was the first thing that made me love your house, the way you and Ethan laughed together. Always thought he had such a fun laugh. I realized, like last year, it was yours. Shouldn't cover your joy."

Her heart was pounding. It felt like he hadn't blinked while he complimented what she perceived as a flaw. Jo was certain she hadn't blinked. She knew that she had crossed from attraction to infatuation, but was digging in her heels like a horse at a cliff side to stop from going farther. She had been discovering more and more between them, shared interest, and likes, and influences, and it was getting harder and harder to hold her horses.

The subject needed to be changed. "What did you need to meet with me about?"

"Oh, I wanted to set up for you to come see what happened with my amber lady in grains. And I started something new and she's in it too. That one, I may be able to manage to come in with. But it would be great if you could come see them." He looked really hopeful.

She was gonna dash those against those cliff side rocks to avoid going over. "I really can't, not for a long time, we have department meetings and a function before finals."

"Oh," his face popped like a helium balloon. "One is a final. You sure you can't give it a look?"

Jo could not go to his studio, full stop. "Not till after finals Harry, sorry! Can you send me pictures?"

"Yeah, but I don't think the flesh in the new one will translate." He was pulling on his bottom lip worriedly.

"I can try to imagine." Jo was absolutely not going back to the red room to discuss flesh. Talk about no trespassing. That was a big huge glowing danger sign.

"Alright." He gave in, his hopes deflated. Harry stood and Jo followed him to let him out. He closed the door when she opened it, not hard but definitively.

"Har-" She started then switched to "H!" Jo did not want to have to rebuff him. She didn't want to rebuff him.

"No." He said, "I need to say this!" And he hugged her tightly with affection instead of passion, "Thank you! For not freaking out."

"Oh!" Jo said dully again. Her vocabulary elluding her. "Well, if you are amazed that Lara has gotten this far into a art degree and can be a homophobe, how do you think I could get a professorship?" Because she was old, way older than him, she reminded herself, wrote it on the inside of her forehead.

"I knew I could trust you, it's just always scary. You made it not scary." He looked like he wanted to do something, his hand came up and hung in the air like a spider's web. Jo was definitely caught. But instead, he smoothed her hair behind her ear and gave her an open grin before leaving. She closed the door behind him and leaned against it with her head pointed up and eyes closed.

Jo was sorry that she wasn't able to go home and put Zoe to bed so she could paint his smile, those asymmetrical perfect dimples. Instead, she called Audrey and checked in, getting herself together for her department meetings, and talk3: as much as you could on the phone to a three year old before bed. Thank god for video chat, or she would not hold that firecrackers attention long enough to say goodnight.

When Jo came out of her department meeting actually smiling, Victoria was way nicer to her, even called her by her name instead of professor. She hated that is was because Harry laid himself out like Isaac on the altar, but she was thankful to him.

Speaking of him, when she looked at her phone, she had loads of texts from him and a desperate message to please come to the studio. Harry was frenzied like the last time she daydreamed about him filling his mouth with her quim. Jo knew she should not go, that that room and his creativity was her very own hamartia. But she pointed her car there anyway. Rationalizing as she drove, she was his advisor. It was her job, her job where she had earned more respect. She was a professional.

When Harry answered the door, his eyes glowed so bright they were nearly teal, they were definitely a turquoise, and he was in jeans with a blue and red plaid with only one button done. Jo was feeling less professional. He didn't greet her, but turned as soon as the door was open knowing she would follow. He might as well have been playing a flute for all she was able to turn away, and she slithered after him.

The backbeat was even her favorite Tori Amos song and she recalled him singing along long ago in her studio. When she had asked about his knowledge of Lilith Fair rock, he had shrugged and said his mum liked it at one point and he had continued to like it much longer. It seemed an odd interest for a 17 year old boy at the time. But now it just seemed like another thing they had in common.

Like the other day when he had gone off in office hours about his frustration with figure drawing. "My favorite artist is Frida Kahlo, and it makes me crazy, because if I can't paint anybody, I'll never be able to draw myself. Ya know, like, I love landscapes and what they can say, evoke, but people are where you can really explore emotion. And yourself. If I can't draw myself, do I know myself?"

Jo almost swallowed her tongue. She went through an entire phase in art school, a lingering obsession with Frida and her own frustration with not being able to really draw herself. She could only draw the 'her' her parents wanted and the one that Ethan's dad wished for. Now, she painted women, but couldn't find their faces. She'd never connected the two until that moment.

At the time, because she was already trying to untie all the threads knotting themselves between them whenever they talked, she had simply said, "I love Frida too. She's probably my favorite. 20th century anyway." Of all time, in truth, but Jo didn't reveal that, couldn't present him another string to connect knot.

He'd smiled and kept talking about their fave and she stayed enraptured. Like she was now.

"She's part of the landscape, but not, like she is rising from it, and I just love the way the skin looks, Jo!" No title. "It looks real, and like its moving so it has emotion. I feel like I've found something. Something that is mine. I just need you to tell me though if it isn't good. If I'm just in a frenzy. Ok, Ok?"

He looked back at her then, but her eyes had just found the new one. She had looked at his defined woman in Amber and was impressed by how she turned out.

But then she saw the other one, and Jo was rising from the plain too. Jo was levitating. It was so good. She could see all the emotion and movement of life in the painting.

That wasn't what had her off the ground, not just his growth. The woman, her body, it looked just like Jo's, the body Harry had never seen. It was there. The strands of the earth she came out of even looked like the stretch marks on her lower belly. And the jut of her breast, she saw them daily in the shower, covered them when she crossed the mirrored wall in the bathroom. But her reflection in the painting, through Harry's imagination, did not cover herself, she had no reason to. It was the most beautiful thing Jo had ever seen.

"Har-Harry!" She got out. And he froze. She knew what she was saying. And he knew too. Harry looked up to be sure she meant it.

He crossed the room like a barrelling patrol car at a clear green light and wrapped his huge hands around her face, cupping her ears and kissed her. There was no hesitation. No sweet lip lock to test out the waters. They were boiling, and they both plunged in.

His mouth slanted right immediately and she fit him in counterpoint and opened her mouth to his tongue when it slid in against hers. The lick, tangle, and taste of him, of the hazelnut coffee he had been drinking, was a jolt of caffeine to her veins. Her skin was alight, like it was in the painting. Like she was on canvas. She thought he set her skin to dancing with his eyes and the smile on his mouth, but it was nothing compared to his kiss.

Jo kept going, pressed her pedal to the floor and him to the wall behind them. She was kissing the hell out of him and her hands were inside his plaid, her fingers trailing his chest. Her nails found his nipples and she scratched him. She'd never done that before.

Harry moaned and shifted, it brought his leg forward a bit, and Jo pressed her mons to his thigh. He flexed in response and Jo gasped. Harry pulled back and was about to reverse them when a canvas fell like hollowed skin to the floor. That stopped Jo, because they needed to be careful with his creations. It was just a blank one, could be wiped clean. She looked up at his blown pupils and his wide open shirt, and the red lines from her nails. Jesus, had she caused all that?

"Professor?" Harry said and it was a dunk in a glacial pool. Jo turned and was just about to run for the door but she had to tell him one thing. He needed to know. Had to know.

She couldn't look at him, over her shoulder, with as much force as she could, she said. "They're good Harry. NO! They are fucking great!" and she made her escape.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles alternate universe #harry styles au #who Names The Colors #wntc #chapter 7 #the kiss #Klimt #art fic #painter au #one direction #one direction fanfiction

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janiedean · 6 years

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finn and poe’s sl in the last jedi: a few considerations

first thing to state: these two both needed to have some kind of journey from A to B in order to arrive at the ending that this movie had in mind and the set-up for IX, finn needed to deal with Some Issues that were there since TFA and poe needed a lot of screentime to make up for the fact that while he’s one of the main three, in TFA he had very limited screen time. now.

finn:

needed to work on his main **character flaw** that was stated in TFA, ie: he tends to go flight when in a flight or fight response, which is entirely understandable from his POV but not exactly useful if he has to, uh, *be in a rebel resistance*;

needed to know more people and see more beyond what he knew since he’s been a stormtrooper all his life and only ever worked for the first order and he can’t get around just knowing rey and poe and maybe leia but it’s not like they knew each other;

needed to see beyond his stormtrooper bringing up and get around, you know, having individuality;

what this movie did was addressing all of that by:

sending him away from the only two people he knows (okay, poe not so much because they were in contact always but still) so that he has the chance to, you know, leave and come back;

giving him a storyline with rose ie someone who has entirely good reasons to fight for the resistance and lost her family and everything she had and opened his eyes to other horrid shit the first order did (you know, he goes from ‘this town is beautiful’ to helping her tear it apart sooo) and who admires him first as an icon but then as himself and is willing to die for *him* without really owing him anything beforehand;

doing that, he realized which were his priorities, he fought for people other than his two friends, he realized that he wanted to be rebel scum (or did I dream that conversation with phasma) and by the end he was about to die for the cause when in the beginning his first thought was running (without even warning poe for that matter) so that he’d save his ass and rey’s. which is entirely understandable from his pov, again, but it was something the movie needed to address and is named character development, which he got in spades;

now he’s reunited with his friends, made more friends, knows his place in the world and doesn’t want to run anymore. mission accomplished.

poe:

needed more time to have his personality established given his lack thereof in TFA;

needed to be established as leia’s successor which this movie obviously was pointing at;

needed to learn the skills to be a good leader;

now, they could have shown him already being good at it, but thing is: this movie ran two hours and a half and no one wants a Perfect Protagonist Without A Flaw in movies, because it’s completely unrealistic and the fact that poe was a+++ amazing in TFA worked because we saw him less than the other two, if he was like that all the time he’d have been a gary stu.

so, what this movie did was addressing all of the above by:

giving him a hell of a lot of screentime which was used to show us that while he’s an excellent guy all around he does have some flaws;

(which are all by the way entirely consistent with his character because if he’s a hothead who likes to blow things up and fly in the middle of the action he most likely won’t consider that sometimes you have to retreat or that sometimes you have to look at saving lives rather than making sacrifices of most people you have before being left with a handful)

establishing that he and leia have definitely a parental/familial vibe because she basically treats him like she’d treat her own family and they’re familiar in ways you are not with your boss;

putting him in a situation where he realizes that acting rashly means you get demoted regardless of how good you are at your job;

giving him the tension with holdo which made him realize that you can be a good leader also by retreating and not ATTACKING all the time, that sometimes you have to buy time like that and that it’s not cowardly to run and that it’s not necessary to go around sacrificing your own life and others’s for the cause;

doing all of the above, he went from promising general to virtually effective leia substitute, because at the end of the movie he did exactly the contrary of what he did in the beginning, told finn what leia told him (to disengage), stopped finn from going after kylo and luke when he realized luke was buying them time so they could run, and leia herself told people to follow him and not her, which brings us to the conclusion that the infamous rewrites post-tfa most likely were to give him a larger role and effectively set him up to become the next general (also because let’s be real, if han died in VII and luke died in this one, leia was gonna die in the next one if carrie had lived to act in it, and all of them needed the new trio to pick up where they left from), and this when poe was a character who was supposed to be killed at the beginning of tfa.

like, they gave all of this hell of a storyline to a character who was supposed to not even survive the first movie, that’s how much they liked him and how much they accounted for the fans liking him.

so: what happened with this movie was giving them arcs with proper screentime for both which addressed points that couldn’t be addressed in TFA and set them up respectively to a) finn being a full part of the resistance where he’s staying by his own choice and where he’s made friends and found his own individuality and not forcing him to be it which would have happened if he stayed in the main ship for the entirety of tlj, he needed to leave and come back and get rid of his former boss/phasma to fully leave his past behind, b) poe being the new general of the resistance with leia’s full blessing and after we saw that he learned how to be one and we can trust him to take good decisions because he learned on his own skin what it means to take bad ones.

doesn’t seem to me like *character assassination*, except that of course we get to the crux of the problem which is, ‘stormpilot didn’t happen’ and ‘neither of them is confirmed gay’ and apparently that trumps everything else. ship discourse under the cut because this post is long.

now:

this is the middle movie of this trilogy. if stormpilot was gonna be a thing I highly doubt it’d have been a thing here since we’ve seen that people were clutching their pearls over freaking lefou in b&b and here we’re talking about main characters - if it was happening, it would happen next movie;

if they locked lips now it’d have been in a situation where finn literally knows no one except rey and poe and we don’t know anything about poe except that he’s a good pilot, he’s a nice guy and looks hot in leather jackets, which.. I mean, do we want them to establish their personality before thinking about them kissing?

neither of them was *confirmed gay* (though I mean with finn I guess he’d need some experimentation around to find out what he likes but never mind) and finn and rose kissed and poe was flirty-ish with rey so OMG HORRIBLENESS: you know, they could.... be bisexual. or pansexual. both of them. which would also mean they might be interested in women as well as each other. like, just a thought to consider;

the finn/rose kiss was her kissing him, not him kissing her, and like it could either go somewhere or it might not, but if it turns out that he likes her and they become canon and stormpilot doesn’t happen.... there’s nothing inherently horrible in finn liking rose who is a nice girl who went through a lot of shit and has all the reasons in the world to like him and tbh I find it really gross that I’ve read around ‘ew omg he kissed a girl how horrible’. I mean, back when TFA came out we were all rejoicing that we had a nice diverse ship and we were all having fun and sorry to break it to you but finn/rose is also a *diverse* ship so it’d be still fairly progressive to have it canon in a mainstream scifi movie. but now since finn kissed the wrong diversity it’s... a downgrade? like, you do realized how it sounds?

anyway, if finn/rose doesn’t go anywhere, the next person in line realistically to be his love interest (if he does have one by the end) is poe, not rey (who, as much as people around here like to deny, might have been set up to have a meaningful story with *ben solo* who is, sorry to say, not the horrible irredeemable villain a lot of people decided he is, and if you still think he is just go watch the OT and realize that the entire point of it was redeeming darth vader ie someone who did a lot worse than kylo but of course we all forget that SW is a franchise about redemption, huh?), and those two spent the entire movie worrying about each other, staying in contact if they were apart, let’s not go over the ‘finn is naked and wet’ part or finn wearing poe’s clothes for the entire thing or poe coming fully into his future-general self by ordering finn to retreat therefore saving his life rather than send him to sacrifice himself at all costs to take out that cannon (while most people who went after the cannon in the beginning died, including rose’s sister), which doesn’t seem to me like *nothing*. like, we had a lot of stormpilot interactions in this movie considering what they needed to do with it;

now, while it’s probably not likely that it might happen forreal or overtly (it’s still disney guys) saying that, considering all of the above, what I’m seeing was a movie that did both of them justice and didn’t sideline them or their relationship while also dealing with another ten storylines at once and if the point that makes everyone think they’ve been butchered was that they didn’t lock lips you know how it sounds like? like whatever these two characters do or stand up for it’s worthless unless they make out, or unless they’re **gay** (not even bi, gay), and therefore you’re basically reducing them to their PERCEIVED sexuality. ie they’re worth nothing if they aren’t the sexuality the fandom wants them to be, which sorry but a) it’s bullshit, b) it’s tokenism, c) it’s ASSUMING SOMEONE’S PERSONALITY ENDS AT THEIR SEXUALITY AND THEIR ACTIONS ONLY MATTER IN LIGHT OF THEIR SEXUALITY.

like, we have two main characters in the new trio who were given extensive screentime and storylines that brought them forward from the previous movie and gave them character evolution and development and brought them to a narratively better place and made them better people (never mind that if they get together in IX it’d be way healthier than if they had in this movie)........ and that somehow doesn’t matter because we didn’t get a confirmation that they would lock lips or that they prefer to bang men and actually one of them being kissed by a woman is seen as character assassination when in the first movie finn sure af wasn’t going around stating his sexual preferences if he even figured out any?

I mean, I’d like to think we’re watching these movies also for the plot and if poe and finn have to be lgbt rep other than minority rep maybe it’d be nice if they also had a personality to go with it, and possibly realistic too because people without flaws aren’t realistic and sure af the OT trio and prequel trio weren’t flawless people actually all the contrary, and this movie did nothing wrong in establishing it. but hey, seems like we only care about it if they kiss. does it sound woke to you? because to me, it doesn’t.

tldr: idk how this movie butchered either of them or did them wrong or ruined them (all the contrary), but if all the criticism’s point is OMG THEY AREN’T GAY AND THEY DIDN’T KISS then we don’t want well-written characters, we just want the ship. and honestly, making it everything about the ship while throwing everyone else under the bus (rose first and foremost) is hardly, like, progressive or anything, but whatever you like.

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yafookinboi · 3 years

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Aaayyyyy another post so soon? I barely had time to miss you, Void lol But there’s not many updates, just a few important ones I’d rather not forget :) I escorted the last basketball game, but mine got postponed because people came down with covid, so no basketball game for me this weekend. Which is chill, I have homework I need to catch up on lol

But after the other game I worked I saw the one old vet who we grabbed dinner with that one day, we’ll call him Ethan. So Ethan came to my second game and I saw him there so I knew he would be watching me the whole game lol and so after the basketball game we were all chilling (he needed to stop by for some stuff for a job application) and he was like “hey you did really well on Saturday,” and— 🥺🥺🥺 this man is quite possibly the best at what we do, so hearing that from him means so fucking much. I jokingly (but seriously) said “haha yeah when I saw you I was like “oh shit he’ll be judging me the whole game” haha” and he was like “oh I was, and you did awesome” which AAAAAHHHH 😁😁😁😁 THANK YOU!!!!! And then he was like, “just between you and me you were the better _________ on this game. Not to put Carl down or anything, but you can tell he needs some work. You look really natural out there.” Bro, thank you. It’s not a competition, but like, any praise coming from this man who is going on to do what we do /professionally/ is such a big deal.

I’ve also gotten to spend more time with Steve. He’s really cool, and for whatever reason he activated my mom friend instincts lol Like every time I see him I just want to give him a hug, give him a glass of water and a snack, and then tell him to go take a nap. It’s weird, I just feel the need to take care of him lol I’m not sure why either. Perhaps he reminds me of myself from the past few years. Trying so hard but struggling nonetheless, but still hiding it all behind a smile. I think that’s it. I see his pain and effort and I was to try to do everything I can to fix it, to protect him from it because I lived it and fucking hated life. Yeah. It’s an odd feeling lol wanting to just hold someone to your chest to let them know you care and are there for them and want to help so badly. And I don’t think it’s attraction. Emphasis on the think. I can’t quite tell, but I don’t /think/ it’s attraction; at least not in a romantic sense. Perhaps it’s platonic. I do really want to be his friend. That’s probably it. This reminds me of the way I felt towards another friend of mine who also had a lot of problems (and is gay so no chance of romantic interaction there). Yeah, I think it’s a combination of “I want to be your friend and think you’re a really cool person” and “you have so much potential, I can see it, and I want you to see it, too!” And “bb just come here, let me give you a hug and try to help you get your life together because I was you once and I would have killed for someone to take the time to gently help me”. Yeah that’s it lol Complicated, but that’s it. Yeah, I don’t think it’s romantic attraction, because the more I think about it I don’t want someone I have to take care of as a romantic partner. As much of a natural caretaker I am, it would probably end up being a point of tension if we dated whereas if we were just friends there’s a certain element of separation where I can be frustrated but still offer that care and support. That and it doesn’t feel the same way as with Carl (or at least I don’t think it does...) (ok objectively he’s not that cute (and doesn’t pass the t-shirt test/is the same skinny lanky ass body type of my past 2 boyfriends lol which isn’t necessarily a bad thing! But I think I weigh more than him when he’s soaking wet, and like :/ idk if that’s a vibe lol if I can’t share your t-shirt without stretching it out because of my boobs and broad ass shoulders, what’s the point? 😂😂 I’m just kidding), but got damn his lips look so fucking soft; like BRUH how do I get lips like yours??? Can I kiss you just to see how they feel???? 😂😂 maybe it is normal attraction 👀👀😳😂 Don’t we love how I over think literally everything? 😆 I have some difficult to place emotions and I go analyzing whether or not we would be compatible lol Can’t I just chill? Also his voice is super soft an relaxing 😂 ok I need to stop lol)

Speaking of Carl, I’m trying to not make plans for the future (next 6 months), but I think I need to have a bit of one if I want to change some of my behaviors I had with past relationships. With my 2 only other boyfriends I only really got to know them over the course of 3-4 months before we started dating. And idk if that’s the root cause of those being failed relationships, but I think it might be a good thing for me to get to know someone a lot better (longer) than I did before. Carl and I only really started to get to know each other in august, so December would really be the time when I started dating my other boyfriends. And I don’t see that happening, and I am 1000% ok with that lol As impatient as I can be, I think this is good. We’ll get to know each other better and get a feel for our goals and aspirations and see if they’re compatible. Yeah, I want to become good friends first. Which, we call each other cute and such so who tf knows how that plays into being “just friends” or procrastinating dating for as long as possible, but we’ll see I guess lol Who knows though? We could end up realizing we hate each other or just don’t work because he has a few more years of college and I’m so close to being done. Hemingway, I guess I don’t need to be worrying about that now lol Just friends is chill, and taking a while to get to know each other is honestly the vibe lol

#skyvoidtalks

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altimys · 6 years

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Winter 2018 anime reviews

Hello, hello. This is a follow-up post to my initial impressions post. I’ll detail how my perception of the animes changed over the season.

Also note that I will not review Violet Evergarden since I’m way too far behind on it. I’ll finish it sometime in the next season once I’m free.

Dropped Animes

The ones that were unbearable.

Citrus

3/10

Like mentioned in the post from the beginning of the season, it just had this unrealistic, trope-driven, incest (but not really) story. Mostly style and little substance, but not even my style. Well, do take this with a grain of salt. I didn’t even finish the first episode.

Pop Team Epic

7/10

I definitely appreciate the experimental and sarcastic nature of this anime. But it wasn’t really worth spending an extra 15 minutes to watch the same thing a second time, especially since I didn’t find all the skits funny. I probably would’ve watched it if they were broken into seven minute segments.

Sanrio Boys

5/10

Too cheesy. Thanks for the “be yourself” message, but I’m not really interested in bishounens parading this every episode. The protagonist’s broken relationship with their grandmother as a sad backstory made me facepalm very hard. If you had advertised this to me about 6 years ago, I may have gobbled it up, but nowadays it’s not my taste.

Darling in the Franxx

5/10

I didn’t pick it back up, and I didn’t really see anything major from twitter or tumblr, except for gifs of the pink haired girl being with her sexy-cute charm. Y’know, the kind of charm where she’s designed to be appealing in a sexy, vampiric way, but she’s doing something cute like licking her fingers after eating a slice of meat or something. Normally I’d not mind this so much, but remembering how typical the protag was, it definitely gave off the manic pixie dream girl vibes. Art and animation I saw was great though! Unfortunately.

Osomatsu-san

5/10

Skits really fell flat this season. I knew that S2 would lose some drive after the stunt they pulled for the finale of S1, but a lot of skits were utter nonsense. I enjoyed the ones where they experimented with the complexities of each character’s personalities (i.e. Choromatsu and Ichimatsu’s awkward interactions), but it was like wading through a swamp to get a chuckle. I watched most of the season then dropped it, since it wasn’t really worth spending time not having fun.

Mediocre Anime

I don’t know why I watched these but I did.

Garo Vanishing Line

3/10

The story was killing me so much in the end that I would multitask when watching it, and I’m not a natural multitasker. It was just bad writing. Nothing really made sense, and it was quite predictable. Like Sword’s sister came out of nowhere (after she died for Sword’s sad backstory) and was suddenly had HACKER SKILLZ. And I was almost positive that in S1, Sophie’s brother was taken away from her by force, not him wanting to join the El Dorado project. Whatever, does it even matter? The best thing of the season was probably Luke getting a haircut and ditching that awful trenchcoat. Do not recommend.

Touken Ranbu Hanamaru

6/10

Guilty pleasure of the season. Still managed to enjoy the nonsense, with the musicals, and these bishounen and moeblobs being one-dimensional. I did appreciate some of the character interactions and the references to Katsugeki Touken Ranbu, but with these kinds of animes, I really can’t say it’s quality. It’s meant to be aimed at a certain audience, and knowing that I am part of this audience makes it enjoyable to watch. Wouldn’t recommend unless you really like bishounenified swords.

Ms. Koizumi Loves Ramen Noodles

6/10

I previously wrote that I was interested in seeing the stalker girl’s infatuation with Koizumi-san turn into a relationship. Of course it didn’t happen. Yuri? In your dreams. I do applaud this anime for going in depth into the ramen culture and making me hungry every week. There were some hardcore facts about ramen’s origins and experimental ramen. You could tell that they did a lot of research (or were sponsored well). I ate an average of 1.5 packs of instant ramen each week, partly thanks to Koizumi-san. How can I not eat noodles after watching it? Not really any substance to this anime unless you like hearing about ramen facts and watching anime girls foodgasm.

Average Anime

These I could recommend with disclaimers and not feel bad about it.

Junji Ito Collection

6/10

Like with most animes with short stories, there’s a handful of good and bad stories. Since the source material is pretty good, there’s more interesting stories than not. There are definitely some that are ridiculously stupid, but if you are in search of horror anime, this is one you should watch. I wouldn’t say it’s equivalent to Yami Shibai, but it’s good. The animation can’t match the signature entrancing horror that Junji Ito creates, but it’s a decent adaptation. One minor quip I have is that they reuse voice actors in each skit. Might be a budget issue, might be something else. It’s not a big deal, but mostly noticeable to me because Hoshiyan’s voice is too recognizable for me. lol. Oh yeah, the short story with the oil was absolutely disgusting. I enjoyed being grossed out.

Gakuen Babysitters

6/10

It’s like a shoujo but with toddlers. Cute interactions, likable characters. Of course, it’s a light-hearted story, so I guess I shouldn’t expect too much out of it. The comedy bits are well-written, and the art style is absolutely adorable. Great casual watch if you want to feel fluffy without the bullshit of shoujo romances.

Laid Back Camp

7/10

As the title suggests, it’s a pretty laid-back anime. I love the different personalities of the female cast. They shone quite well through the segments of texting. The way that they texted felt friendly, and I felt that I was part of this silly chat group. Also enjoyed learning a lot about camping supplies (and the little pinecones that squealed were so cute). Makes me consider wanting to go solo-hiking or camping to be able to enjoy nature. I’m really glad it covered winter camping, because that’s something that most people never consider, so you get to see the different equipment, activities, and benefits. Recommend if you want something chill with a well-written cast, but not a character-driven story line.

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens

7/10

Surprisingly, I liked it quite a bit. I was actually expecting this one to tank, because it had a predominantly male lineup, was about assassins, and had a crossdresser. Sounded like someone picked things they thought would appeal to the general public and made an anime of it. Thankfully, I was wrong. Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens is actually based off a light novel series, which really shows through the thought-out plot and layered characters. I wouldn’t say it’s as crazy as Durarara!!, but some of the twists are quite interesting. I also really enjoy the diverse cast and their interactions: Lin Xianming, pseudonym for a Taiwanese assassin who also happens to crossdress; Banba Zenji, a playful, seemingly idiotic detective with a deck of tricks up his sleeves. There’s also a canonically gay character, an ex, a child, a hacker (with an interesting backstory), and more. And these characters make mistakes, get injuries, and have flaws. I’m hoping for a second season, because watching this was quite nice each week.

Karakai Jozu no Takagi-san

7/10

If you wanted fluff with actual romance, here’s the one for the season! There’s also quite a bit of comedy added. I did feel sorry for the protag Nishikata for falling victim to Takagi’s pranks every time, but I always looked forward to what she was going to do, and how it would fluster him. I think the romantic buildup was well-paced throughout the season. Kudos to whoever paced it, because they danced around with my feelings like an expert, giving me enough of a taste to feel the flutters of romance in my stomach, but not enough to make Nishikata and Takagi an item. Some of the skits were directed very well, with surprisingly effective cinematography (see the rain and umbrella skit). The ending was really cute, and I’m pretty encouraged to read the manga to get more content.

Mahou Tsukai no Yome

7/10

Nothing really jumped out at me. I feel like the actions of the characters didn’t follow a logic to it that made me understand the character better. Nothing really sparked an interested in wanting to cheer the characters on. I really felt passive in watching events happen to Chise and Elias, and the ending wasn’t particularly spectacular either. I think it’s a decent one to pass the time, but I could not get invested in the plot or characters.

Koi wa Ameagari no You Ni

8/10

This anime certainly isn’t for everyone’s tastes, but I think I really appreciated the latter half of the series more than the first half. The surface-level summary is about the age-gap romance, but once I was able to hear Kondo’s internal thoughts, especially about being older, the nostalgia of youth, and trying to pick a passion back up, I started enjoying it a lot more. I especially loved the scenes when he would banter with his college friend Chihiro. The only downside of the latter half of the episodes was the awkward tension between Akira and her friend. Her friend would just yell at her, and Akira would take it, and then not really consider it. And somehow it’s resolved. Well, other than that, I did like the characters and ending a lot.

Kokkoku

8/10

I rather enjoyed the setup and the unknown mechanisms of the system. The enemy really had the advantage in intellect and strength, and it was interesting watching how the characters tried to get around that. The last three episodes were a little flat, and the plot armor (kind of) and last bit of exposition was almost unnecessary, but it was there to give us a happy ending, which I did appreciate. Love the grandpa. I’d say this anime did a pretty decent job at the action and strategy, and the ending wasn’t blowing my mind, but I do really commend it on the setup.

Exceptional Anime

Worth your time.

A Place Further Than the Universe

8/10

Drama about girls aiming to go to Antarctica. Strong female cast, with a pretty believable depiction of average high school girls and how they might react and pursue their dreams. The voice acting was pretty spectacular for this show, especially during the second to last episode. ;) I think this anime is very real with what it’s like with concepts we usually don’t think of: having ambitions, lacking ambitions, making friends, losing friends, finding closure. It was rewarding to walk with the girls in every step of their journey. Animation quality was pretty awesome too. I also cried a bit at the end. I didn’t think I would enjoy an anime about high school girls going to Antarctica, but hey, I loved it.

Hakumei to Mikochi

8/10

It’s a slice-of-life about a pair of thumb-sized forest dwellers. Hakumei, the more adventurous of the two, works as a handyman and has a determined attitude. She’s still a very considerate person and is full of compassion and a heart to help others. Mikochi is a bit more reserved and particular. She’s famous for her cooking and has a passion for textiles and clothing. Both characters compliment each other well, and it’s cute seeing them bustle about their daily lives. You also get to see into the lives of other characters they meet, and it feels an established world with all it’s quirks and culture. The general feel of this anime is relaxed and storybook-like, similar to the same kind of vibe I get from Ghibli movies. I honestly thought this was a children’s anime during the first episode. It could be, but I enjoyed it a lot.

#personal #pointless anime ramblings

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