#I just want to rescue Orin; she breaks my heart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

y-rhywbeth2 · 16 days

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Ketheric continues to be the member of the Chosen I struggle to get a grip on. Like the other three I can tell you the details of why (I think) they grew up to monsters:

Long post.

Let's start with Gortash: spent his childhood being told he was a selfish monster for his thoughts - apparently from birth - for the way he perceived the world, for *checks notes* wanting his parents attention as an undeveloped human being that relies on its parents to survive and thrive.

Then his parents send him to hell as part of a deal. Because that's where monsters go isn't it? They go to hell to suffer eternal damnation because they were monsters in life.

So you grow up in one of the literal cesspits of the universe, where the only people you meet are the literal scum of the universe, or those you're going to learn to see as weak fools who had to rely on others - and were ultimately willing to commit atrocities themselves - who were taken advantage of by the scum of the universe. You get to the Hells by committing atrocities, either because you want something so badly you'll fuck somebody over for it (out of greed, or because you couldn't fix it yourself (weak)) or because you did them of your own volition. And curiously, some of these people had their price tags wrapped in such subtle terms they don't even realise they did anything wrong! Lesson learned; anyone will willingly be a monster if you make the evil sound nice. Every single devil you meet has had the humanity flayed from their soul, and they got to where they are in their existences by fomenting (and committing) hate and rape and murder and everything evil under the sun as a regular Monday morning in the ultimate goal to make the universe an evil place. Devils are also 'self made men', everybody started from nothing as a lemure and clawed their way to where they are now. Every social interaction in the Hells is manipulation and abuse. Everyone there hurts everyone.

But you do have one example of a good person! There's Hope! Lovely lady, kind and sweet... Trapped in hell being abused forever going insane because of it because your ambitious sister fucked you over. That's where trust and love being a good person gets you.

And that was his entire social life. That was the people he had to look to for examples. All his early experiences were limited to a sample of the absolute worst it has to offer, and he has a very skewed view of the universe.

And the fact that he's apparently so damn good at sex a lady gave him a ring worth everything she owns after growing up around a pleasure devil whose role is harming and corrupting people with sex and has built in charm person at etc is not ringing alarm bells(!) I'm not side-eyeing the boudoir at all.

I wonder why having a child/teen spend their formative years in the evil factory literally designed to spit out monsters... spat out a monster? Kudos to Karlach, though: just how many layers of defence mechanisms has she got in her brain?

Gortash's thought processes are 50% through the lens of engineering and 50% through the lens of a devil's perspective to me. People will sell out others for their own gain, because they're too weak to do it themselves or because they're bastards. If you don't get with the programme you're the victim. You only get ahead by being ruthless. Everybody is untrustworthy, and relying on them will get you betrayed. The world is divided into the weak and the ruthlessly strong who take what they want. Yes, he's a monster. And so are his parents. And so is everyone. And then Bane saw this perfect example of his way of thinking and said 'that one.'

Orin: obviously we've got grooming. The fact that her formative memories include her mother trying to murder her, and the fact that she feels like the only person who has ever cared about her or supported her is her grandfather. Who is implied to have been raping her, or intending to. All she's permitted is to have her brain poisoned by her faith, which her life revolves around, and then her kin 'does it all wrong' and inherits everything she's been groomed to believe is hers. But no, 'they're not wrong,' says everybody around her 'you are!'

She's a Bhaalspawn, so her relationships with her kin are "kill or be killed," as Helena proved. You will please father by slaughtering your siblings, or you will die - or worse. You must be and stay favoured by Bhaal above all the others to be truly safe ("safe"), and Durge outranking her is a threat to her existence. Actually Durge existing is a threat to her well-being. She has no way to live a life outside the cult, never has and never will. Her life is insanely lonely and mostly consists of paranoia.

But the overlaying theme here is that she's a changeling. She's mirrorkin with no unique physical identity of her own, she can only reflect those of others. To be dnd canon accurate: she has no real facial features, no pigmentation. She's not permitted an identity of her own, and was punished for trying. She's a mirror born and raised to reflect the glory of Bhaal, the glory of her failed grandfather, the rise of Bhaal's favourite child. Never her own. Gee, I wonder why she literally wears people's skins.

Denied the ability to do anything but live according to what she's told, she does her best to live up to it because to fail is to become her parents and the countless aunts and uncles currently enjoying their damnation in the Throne of Blood. And then she's told she's doing it wrong. By everybody. She's a 'rabid dog'. She, despite having doctrine poured into her ears and probably carved into her flesh her entire life 'doesn't understand Bhaal.' And everybody is insanely patronising about it! You're never allowed to be anything but what we tell you to be, but you're still not good enough! Which is death. The Temple of Bhaal needs murder feminism.

The Dark Urge is my favourite little nightmare, and I've talked about them at length: much of Orin's trauma also applies to them, although where she's a mirror made to reflect the egos of others, Durge is only allowed one identity: Bhaal's. Where Orin can never seem to reach the standards forced on her, Durge is never allowed to fail to meet them, or else. Every outside connection they ever had was brutally sabotaged, and they've had 'you're a monster and only I (your abusive Father) can love you' drilled into their mind. They hate themself. We got the threat of sexual exploitation (assuming it didn't happen), there's a subtle undercurrent of incest to some interactions. The prayer for forgiveness kind of sums it all up: 'I'm sorry for forming an emotional connection that isn't blind love for you father, but don't fret, I'll destroy it with my own hands just like everything else and then finally get to kill myself just like I've always wanted.'

But Ketheric? Like villains don't need tragic backstories to be terrible people, but it does make them more interesting.

OK, so your bio family is fucked up and I definitely get the impression that they sucked (Malus is giving me vibes that say he'd have been a villain anyway, and might've been secretly Sharran to start with; Gerringothe seems to be drowning whatever her issues are in gold), and then the loving family you made for yourself broke: your wife died, and your daughter died, sure. But plenty of people on Toril probably have similar if not the same stories and didn't go evil overlord! Why are you doing this? What is informing these decisions? Why does your existence hinge so much on your dead daughter that your son is basically named after her and you seem to hate him for existing and not being her? Does Shar have something to do with it? Has Ketheric just carved out so much memory and emotion, so much of his own identity, that all that's left is the grief and the hunger for the pain to stop but, as per Shar's intent, it keeps coming back, with less and less positive memories to soften the pain. A wound that festers and never heals. Is the obsession with Isobel because she's the icon of everything that was good in his life, and her loss was the moment everything good was gone? Was he a rational man who turned to Shar to stop the pain in a moment of understandable grief and rage at her sister, and then was trapped in a cycle that destroyed everything that was good in that man until we get the General?

Just guess working my way through his entire backstory...

#I just want to rescue Orin; she breaks my heart #and I kind of hate that she didn't win on some levels #I just want to rescue her ToB style but without the bad ending that got added in post-game #babbling #edgelord hours #villainous nonsense #the family circle #/durge #/orin #/gortash #/ketheric

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vinff7 · 7 months

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Wrote a short whump fic for Durge/Gortash because I just love torturing those two. Is AU and altered the control Bhaal has on the Durge a little.

Summary: Rather than Orin tadpoling Durge, Bhaal wanted to take a more hands on approach to the punishment given his failed weapon.

Warnings: not to descriptive torture, bone breaking, and implied non-con.

Have fun!

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Rather than Orin tadpoling Durge, Bhaal wanted to take a more hands on approach to the punishment given to Durge. Orin being able to shift into Gortash to take down Durge with ease is proof that he weakens him so Bhaal demands Durge kill him if he wants a chance to reclaim his heritage.

Durge tries to bargain, explain the plan to his father and insist Gortash will die; it just needs to be later. When Bhaal continues to press Durge pleads and begs him not to ask it of him, that he’ll murder anyone and anything else. Bhaal declares sacrifices need to have meaning and Gortash is the one he demands. At this point Bhaal starts to torture him as well, reminding Durge that he created him and can unmake him just as fast.

It eventually devolves to Durge realizing no matter what torture he is put through or what reward is promised, none of it would be worth it if it means Enver was dead. He and Enver had contingencies in their plans if one of them dies. He knows even if Bhaal kills him Enver will still succeed. The dream of ruling was one he knew Enver could accomplish with or without him. He trusted Gortash would see their dream through as long as he lived. Bhaal’s torture and threats of debasement mearly steel Durge’s resolve to refuse his farher in his demand of killing his partner.

Enraged, Bhaal has Orin take Durge away to be punished and breed as that’s all he is good for now. She takes him to a cave by Moonrise towers near the growing army Ketheric is gathering. Durge is tortured and tormented by the monsters in the army but his primary purpose was when he would be drugged into a frenzied state and breed, spreading Bhaals seed through many in the abhorrent army of the Absolute.

—

Many months later Gortash hears rumors of a Bhallspawn breeding in the Absolute’s ranks and investigates. Finds his lover chained to a wall, emaciated and mutilated. As he goes to free him Durge seems to have a seizure, violently thrashing and convulsing until his eyes glow red as Bhaal possesses Durges body.

“Ah, the Banite who ruined my perfect vessel. I hope you know he is here because of you. My perfect blade weakened by sentiment. A weapon that won’t attack is worthless, and no matter how I forced him, he refused to strike you down as I commanded. Wouldn’t lay a finger on you let alone murder you in my name, no matter what I would do to him.”

“So have your fun with him now, if you mean to rescue him, fine. Just know that while you stole My Blood’s heart and mind, I own his body. I created him and can torment and claim his soul when I see fit. But don’t worry I don’t plan on killing him, not when you can kill him for me.”

“This boy endured 8 months of torture to avoid the risk of killing you in my name. I’m itching to know how long you will let him continue to suffer before you murder him for me.”

As the haunting voice fades Druges eyes flicker back to his own, Gortash can see the relief and love mixed with fear and pain in his glossy eyes “Enver.” He whimpered out blood dripping from his lips before his whole body tenses again as he screams. As though to prove a point of the amount of control Bhaal has over him Durges legs twist and crack. Durge hyperventilating as his tibia bones snap inside his legs. Gortash curses reaching to try and help but Durge screams as wherever Enver touches reacts to Durge skin like acid, burning him as he tries to carry Durge away from this torture chamber.

#enver gortash #bg3 #gortash #bg3 durge #durgetash #dark urge #angst #oneshot #goretash #dark urge x gortash #bg3 bhaal #lots of headcanon mixed into canon

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sqoiler · 7 years

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family swap au stuff

haley’s circus was in smallville for a rest stop and john and mary went out and were killed in a car crash

it was the talk of the town and martha and johnathan decided to take in their orphaned son, as he was around kara’s age (kara had just landed a few months ago and they thought she could use some company)

they tried to keep the alien thing a secret from dick but it was hard for kara not to brag (i mean come on she’s like 10 have u ever met 10 year olds)

so dick knew and demanded to meet superman and thought clark was the COOLEST EVER

and dick and kara become besties and then one day they’re on a field trip and they go to a lex corp lab for a field trip and one of the workers “accidentally” spills something on kara and dick sort of.jumps in front of her? and then it gets on them both and there’s an electric shock that gives dick kara’s powers. she still has powers but now he has a weird version of them, too

after this clark takes kara & dick and they both move into his apartment in metropolis so he can keep an eye on them and be there for their training

this all ended up with dick and kara sneaking off to the fortress as soon as they could both fly and making themselves suits and supergirl and superboy were born

dick & kara co-found the titans which consist of kid flash, speedy, aqualad, aquagirl, wonder girl, and starfire

the titans eventually disbanded but before that happened kara & babs dated for a while. they mutually broke up when babs decided to move back to atlantis and quit being aquagirl

when the titans disbanded dick and kara decided to. move on and be a lil more solo so they became nightwing and flamebird

they were still partners but they worked less with clark or the titans and more with each other or justice leaguers

their home base is still metropolis but they worked on cleaning up bludhaven and work worldwide

b’ara is an atlanteian and she’s the adopted daughter of orin & mera

she grew up a princess and she learned magic from her mom

when garth became aqualad, b’ara (who’s around his age) forced her dad to let her be aquagirl alongside him and garth and babs joined the titans together

babs & garth were always friends but never super close?

babs dated supergirl for a lil bit but when the titans disbanded babs decided she wasn’t so sure about being aquagirl anymore so she went home to atlantis to work with her mom some more

at some point babs went up to visit with her friends for a titans reunion and while she was up there she got shot in the back of the spine by a mugger and was paralyzed

she had to stay up in the surface for a while after that and started doing tech stuff to help her dad with heroing

this led to her going up to the watchtower and helping the whole jl once she got really good at tech

she still goes to atlantis & can swim around still (her arms are ripped af)

cass & jason were twins born of shiva and given to cain

when they were around seven shiva showed up and killed cain and rescued her kids, leaving them with someone to take care of them. that person, of course, immediately dumped the kids in the first waste hole they could find.

jason & cass are left in gotham and they’re both mini killers who cant talk, all alone on the streets. fun times

black canary, who occasionally teams up with batman, was in gotham and found the two of them, cold and alone

dinah was sorry for them and took them in, just for winter to get warm so she could dump them in the foster system

then she got attached and taught them how to talk and they got cursed by the wizard (who approached dinah about some sort of alternate timeline or something) and now they both had the same canary cry and before dinah knew it she made ollie pull some strings to legally adopt them and jason & cass lance were born

dinah worked to re-train them and when they were 11 cass and jason decided that it was far past time they became superheros and snuck out as gold & red canary

dinah loves them a lot but they really give her a headache sometimes

the three of them live in an apartment in star city and crash at ollie’s place a lot and when roy got addicted and ollie kicked him out dinah brought him in (cass & jason were still pretty little then) and they all bonded and roy’s basically their brother now

when tim & kon restarted the titans cass and jason became reserve members since they were a lil older

cass & raven became really close friends through the titans

jason is close with gar and kid devil and others idk

cass and steph, another reserve member, become pretty close and become known as a nightmare pair

speaking of steph,

she and her parents move to central when she’s like 3ish and crystal dies when steph is six

when steph’s 11 flash brings down cluemaster and adopts her

steph pressures wally into telling her how to get powers and executes the procedure and survives

around this time, wally hung up the KF mantle, so she took it on

it only lasted a few years before she, too, had to give it up

when barry died and wally became the flash, steph picked up the mantle of dart and bart showed up soon after

steph was a reserve member of the titans and befriended cass lance

she dated courtney whitmore when she was kid flash but when she retired they broke up

when she was dart steph & cassie got together and have been going strong since

she and damian became friends and ever since whenever hal looks at steph he gets a mini heart attack

t’hym m’orzz came to earth at the same time as his sister m’gann did, and they both sort of hung around before j’onn introduced them to kon, who’d recently come into existence, and the three of them hit it off and from kon’s older brother dick’s encouragement they re-started the titans

soon enough people like bart and cassie joined, bringing along steph and cass and jason and raven and gar an

t’hym and kon started dating and making plans to see the stars and generally being gay

duke thomas’s parents were killed by a wonder woman villain, and diana took duke in

duke convinced her to train him and she did

the gods found out about this and blessed him with some powers (strength and flight) and he became wonder boy

he’s never been to themescyria and doesn’t really want to intrude or anything

he and cassie are best friends and when cassie joined the titans he wasn’t far behind

duke & diana have a mother/son relationship and cassie jokingly calls him her nephew since she and diana are sisters

duke and bart have mutual crushes on each other and are skirting around the issue atm

damian was dropped off with bruce and he was trying to convince him to be batboy or something when a green ring descended from the sky and announced that damian was the youngest green lantern of earth ever

bruce begrudgingly took him to hal who stuck him with jessica and simon

damian and jess immediately got along really well and it took longer but he and simon eventually got along, too

the three of them are known menaces among the green lanterns of earth and hal is eternally faceplanting at them all

damian & steph met when hal & barry started dating and all the lanterns decided to shovel talk barry

damian voice: allen PLEASE break jordan’s heart i don’t want him to be happy

steph: [snorts in laughter]

anyway damian & dick met when jon befriended damian (as new members of the new titans) and jon invited him over and dick was like “this is my new brother”

damian: hey father i have a new brother and sister now

bruce, tiredly: who

damian: stephanie allen and dick kent

bruce: im moving to ethiopia

(feel free to ask me or my artblog @sam-and-crystal if you have any questions! <3)

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takerfoxx · 7 years

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“Fires of the Sun, Part 6″ Thoughts

I know this is coming late, but i had a busy weekend. Stupid million sport games and most of my coworkers calling out.

I'm going to skim over most of the opening scene, as there's little to add, and just comment on the bit where the Dragons accidentally barbecue the mob. I went back and forth on whether or not to go through with that, as I've been trying to pull away from grimdark plot twists. One possibility was to have them break up out of the ground when Yukari was exploring the ruins of Mugenkan and unknowingly attack her, and have Yuuka reform and go after her with the mordite blade when she was distracted. But in the end, I went with this direction because A, I needed to keep Yukari and co. busy for a little while longer so Rin could wrap things up with Sakuya, and B, Mima's plan needed to succeed in a major way. Thus far, only Patchouli ended up falling victim to her revenge scheme, and with Satori's rescue her dupes actually ended up netting something of a profit. So having her successfully rack up a huge amount of collateral damage and put it on Yukari's shoulders helped cement her as a dangerous antagonist and set up Yukari's attempts to take her down in the future.

Rin and Flandre's cute little celebration helped establish a few points. First, in a callback to her misunderstanding how handshakes work during her meeting with Utsuho, Flandre not getting high fives really is clueless about how to interact with people. Even going beyond her fits of destructive rage, she doesn't know about handshakes, doesn't know how high fives work, and just doesn't get how to function as a normal person. She's never had the opportunity to learn. I personally feel that, once you get past her psychotic episodes, she really is a sweet girl at heart. This is further emphasized by her and Rin's reactions to Yuuka's "death." Rin didn't feel bad one little bit, while Flandre immediately was hit by guilt. Not to say that Rin should have felt bad. Hell, I don't think anyone would claim that Yuuka was someone worth shedding tears over. Still, it does sort of show that, despite their similarities, they're sort of developing in opposite directions. Rin started off as meek and scared and really hesitant to hurt anyone, and now she's finally run out of fucks to give and gladly dishes out beatdowns when the situation calls for it. Flandre was violently unpredictable at best, far more prone to berserker rages before Rin unlocked the Adult personality, but now feels terrible for contributing to anyone's death, even a monster like Yuuka. I don't know if that's going to lead anywhere, but it's interesting to note.

Now, I'm not going to say all of Wriggle and Kogasa's frequent interactions are necessarily leading anywhere, but…well, okay. So maybe I'm just sort of testing the water with that one. Romance is something I've mostly avoided until now, and do sort of want to expand things in the future and try out different things, so…it's a possibility, let's just keep it at that.

Rumia's insomnia problems are interesting on a meta level. I introduced them mainly because of my own time with having chronic insomnia and how much that ended up affecting me. Now I've long gotten over them while Rumia still has them, poor kid. Obviously her problems are way greater than mine. I just messed myself up with unhealthy habits. With her, I think something is definitely screwed up in her brain. I was actually going to take it even further with her frequently hallucinating that she was still in Rin's mind like that one time by the river. This didn't end up happening mainly because when you got a lot of plotlines running around, sometimes interesting ideas just have to get cut.

Smug, incompetent Yukari got a lot of flak early on in this story's run, and admittedly deservingly so. I still feel she got a harsher rap than she should have, but that's just my opinion. I worked pretty hard to soften her up somewhere around the mid-point, and may have overcompensated at points, but here at the end I do feel she's finally settled into a nice groove as a take-charge commander. Hey, I like strong authority figures in my stories. Just don't insinuate anything of my sexual preferences from that.

And I don't know if Kotohime was taking a dump or not, I just hope she found time to wipe if she did.

In other news, I really should have paid more attention to Doremy Sweet's design, as I kept describing her as having a puffball tails instead of a cow tail until the very end. Another reason to go back and just fix all the mistakes. Though interesting to note, I was thinking of including Wriggle in that final climax with Yuuka, to have her attack her from behind with an army of insects and just call her out on all the shit Yuuka had done to her while kicking her in the head over and over. Unfortunately this got cut for the same reason everything else did: no room for it. Which is a shame, because she did deserve that closure. Rin apologizing to her for it was sort of to make up for not including it.

I do like Wriggle's constant concern for Elly, even after everything that had happened. I think the flashbacks to when they were friends were a major part of the decision to start portraying Elly in a more sympathetic light. I was actually kind of tempted to have Rin successfully kidnap Elly and bring her along for a sort of weird forced face turn. Alas, I needed her elsewhere, so instead she got paired off with Yuuka's super-burnt body instead.

While I'm pretty happy with how FotS came out as a whole, there are three parts that stand out in my mind as personal highlights. The first is Utsuho's speech to Rin from earlier. The second is that final mental confrontation between Rin, Flandre, and Yuuka. And the third is the faceoff between Sakuya and Rin, with Rumia's life and Flandre's freedom on the line. Something I've learned from wrestling and various other action-heavy series is that you don't need a bunch of flashy moves and big explosions to craft a memorable showdown. You just need two people with clear motivations who really don't like each other stuck in the same room with something very important on the line that neither of them can afford to lose. Though I actually had to rewrite a couple parts in post, as originally Rin was going to go straight from saving Rumia to threatening Sakuya with the knife without so much as checking up in Rumia. I've mentioned being on the autistic spectrum a couple times, and unfortunately that does mean I often overlook those sort of empathetic details. And no, that doesn't mean I don't have empathy; far from it. It just means that my way of expressing it is often a bit…off from everyone else, and I sometimes have to remember how most people express emotion when writing. So that whole bit had to get changed to have Rin express the emotions she ought be expressing, as well as that short confrontation between Rin and Flandre over Patchouli's death to make Rin more panicky over Rumia's peril. I like the way I am and wouldn't change it even if I could, but it does mean that I sometimes have to consciously remember to do things that most people just do naturally.

Anyway, this scene was also another example of foreseeing logical problems and countering them ahead of time to avoid fridge logic. Why wouldn't Sakuya just stop time to begin with? Well, she needed to force Rin to give up Flandre. Why wouldn't she do it when Flandre was released? Her hands were full and Rin would have killed her the second the pocketwatch appeared. The tricky one was why she wouldn't just stop time after Flandre was out and Rin was otherwise distracted. Thinking of this problem actually led to a pretty cool bit where she tried doing just that and Flandre seeing it and screaming out a warning. I was stumped at how Rin would get to her in time before she pressed down. I mean, she's really fast and all, but she's not that fast. Then I remembered that Flandre's power is instantaneous, and it would be a great symbolic moment to have her be the one to destroy the pocketwatch, followed be her getting defenestrated. Hey, I like Sakuya as much as the next guy, and totally get where she was coming from. But come on. From Rin's point of view, she totally deserved that.

Which was then followed by Mima trying to squish her with rocks (and boy, was it tough to arrange things so that would end up happening after all!) and Meiling comes in with the save! Nothing much to say about that except I thought it was rad. Yeah, I really liked these last couple of chapters.

Now, if anyone is curious, Yuuka's odd look and bizarre babbling are a parody of Broken Matt Hardy, a pro wrestler (and yes, my life does in fact revolve around pro wrestling. Deal with it), whose…unusual reinvention of himself was one of the most talked about stories in 2016. Suffice to say, it's weird, it's indescribable, and it's very, very entertaining. I love the character, and couldn't resist sticking in a little shoutout, mainly to see if anyone would notice. And someone actually did!

Though, on a side note, it was actually originally Sunshu that was supposed to take the hit from the mordite blade. That's why she showed up in that scene where Yukari slapped her and Orin down. I had an idea where she'd break free, storm into the mansion, and go after Yukari again only to get killed by Yuuka. But that was scrapped because I figured that the GPF knew their stuff and would be able to restrain even an oni, especially one that Yukari had already put down. Besides, Shinki taking the hit instead opens things up for some interesting future developments.

Other things that I got a kick out included the fact that the Dragon King's name is Frank. Okay, Francioux, whatever. It made me giggle. As did Rin pretty much lighting Sariel up like a Looney Tunes bomb explosion. BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT!

Another thing I haven't talked much about: Mima and Seiga's role in FotS. Here, they pretty much were the Greek chorus, watching and commenting on the action. With so many moving parts, it was useful to have a sort of outside perspective explaining the various characters motivations and why they would do some things, as well as set up the couple of times Mima interfered. In things like The Storm and The Curious Case of Rin Satsuki, Yuuka filled that role, but since Lady Meika already said that she was going to refrain from doing commentary that role was instead filled by a different set of assholes.

And no, I have no idea how Seiga and Futo got down there so quickly. Use your imaginations. Though I can already tell that Futo's speech patterns are going to be a pain in the ass until I get the hang of this old-timey talk.

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sweetteahyung · 7 years

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it’s been a while since i posted a picture of my dog Rocky, and i’ve never posted a pic of my cats Kisa or Wind, so I thought i’d just do that while i’m booping around on tumblr xD give you guys a break from kpop :’D

I’m gonna talk about all my pets and stuff, and it’s gonna get loooooong so feel free to ignore it xD imma put it under a cut~

Kisa is my baby <3 she was born next to me and i’ve had her the entire 12 years she’s been on this earth ;u; she’s nuttier than a kitten and climbs the walls when she’s had a whiff of catnip. She can also jump 6ft straight up and can jump about the same horizontally, haha! You would never know she was 12 years old if you saw her running around being her crazy self xD

I haven’t had Wind her whole life, only about 15 years or so! (only 15, haha) She’s deaf now, but she still gets around surprisingly well and loves to be petted and brushed (which is a good thing because she’s decided in the last 6 months or so that grooming isn’t something she needs to do because she has people for that OTL) she also likes to yell at me when i’m not getting her food to her fast enough :’D she’s a little underweight atm, but we did bloodwork at the vet and her bloodwork looks great???? no thyroid issues o: she did have a slight heart murmur tho so she’s on meds for that now :’D i do everything i can for her and she seems to be doing good! noisy old lady cat pfft

I’ve talked quite a bit about Rocky on here <3 he’s also my baby! I rescued him from being put down at the shelter when he was about a year old, and i’ve had him almost 5 years now ;u; he’s been having some problems in the last year or so with his spine and hips, but we’re managing it pretty well. Some days are better than others :c i’m just trying to keep him as happy and healthy as i can for as long as i can, and it seems to be going okay so far!

The cat pictured above was Callie. I think i’ve mentioned my other cat Callie before? Not sure, haha~ Callie was a cat i found as a kitten up in the mountains close to where I live. She was living in a feral colony in the woods that was being fed by an older lady in a trailer :’D it was my 7th birthday and I asked my parents if I could take her home, since our previous cat, Sweetie, had had to be put down due to a fast growing cancerous tumor in her throat a couple of years before, leaving us cat-less. My parents finally agreed and we loaded Callie up and took her home. She wasn’t actually the kitten I wanted, but she was sick, and i think that’s the only reason the lady could catch her xD it worked out well, though, because we got her all doctored up and had her for 16 interesting years. She wasn’t always a friendly cat. Most of the time she’d rather bite or scratch than be petted, but I loved her anyways. She was my fat, grumpy old lady, and she mellowed out some as she got older. about a year ago, though, we noticed a lump on her belly... this lump progressively got bigger and ended up being a tumor. We really let it go on too long and I regret that, but I finally got the tumor removed. Callie, despite being 16 years old, made it through the surgery okay and healed up great. i was very optimistic about her having a few more years in her, and was fully prepared to do whatever I could to keep her going, but a few weeks after we had her tumor removed, she started having trouble breathing :c we took her back to the vet and found out she had fluid around her lungs. They drew the fluid off and it turned out to be lymphoma. I had the fluid drawn off once a week for several weeks, and she managed to make it through new years, but more and more problems started popping up, and she was in so much pain I decided to have her put down. Even now, months later, I still tear up looking at pictures or videos of her. 16 years of my life I spent with this grumpy cat who wanted to be on your lap every time you sat down, but didn’t want you to touch her half the time, and suddenly she was gone. I still miss you, Callie :c it took a long time for me to stop looking for her when I came home, and there’ll always be a Callie-shaped hole in my home that no other animal will be able to fill

...moving on to less sad things, i also have a few more pets that you guys have never seen on here :’D i have two gerbils, both girls, named Kaipo and Orin! Kaipo is a nutmeg, and Orin is a polar fox <3 they’re super cute and sweet and i love them lots ;u; i also have a russian dwarf hamster named Mama Dragon that i brought home from the pet store where i work because she was too mean to sell, and i love her to bits <3 i won her over with treats and we’re buds now LOL

recently i’ve added a couple of betta fish to my family as well! the first one is named Bubbles, and i brought him home from the pet store because he was so small he couldn’t eat the normal sized betta pellets! I’m thinking now that he was just young, because he’s grown a LOT and is definitely big enough to eat them now xD he’s beautiful and such a sweetheart <3

The other betta is Lotus, and i brought him home because he had some pretty bad fin rot and swim bladder disorder, which caused him to float at the top of the tank and list to the side like he was dead :c within a few weeks, though, I got him swimming normally and now he’s a happy lil guy <3 working on getting his weight back up and his fins grown back out! I love him so much ;u; he’s super pretty, i’ll have to post pics/videos of him and Bubbles sometime <3

That’s everybody so far! If you read all of this, then bless u <3 i love to talk about my animals and i get a little lengthy when i babble about them sometimes :’D peace out, i hope y’all have a great day/night/whatever it is wherever you are!

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