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#I just really like exploring all the emotions she likes to hide :]
nightthinker-08 · 4 months
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have some Ragatha wips and sketches
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yoojinluv · 8 months
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#kinda obsessed w isabelle adjani these days#it’s a plus that she’s been in so many rly good movies I’ve never seen before so I’ve been spoiled by good movies these days#my bf ex bf person is gone for the weekend for work#so I get the house to myself#I’m worried about repeating the same patterns over and over again and having the same regrets over and over again#it’s really quite hard to break habits huh.. especially those that are sort of emotional crutches ways to feel safe ways to forget#but that’s sort of how my whole life has been#just hiding as best I can being quiet as best I can doing the same things to feel safe and never liked#*like#growing expanding exploring being confident#for the most part I think it’s bc I’ve never rly wanted to be a part of the world at all#like it’s always felt like something I never would’ve signed up for had i had the chance to choose#but you never know#maybe I chose it and knew everything going in#as a spirit?#the only thing I know is that I’m still trying#and that everyone is capable of transforming themselves and starting from scratch and being happy#so I must be too but it’s routine that kills me#routine routine routine#anyways#this is all rly stream of consciousness#it’s Friday and the work day’s half done#I love women#I hope to become a better woman#I hope to treat myself well tonight#in that house by myself#I’ll see my niece this weekend and that’ll be nice 😊#and maybe I’ll do something out of my routine this weekend#idk what yet
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peachesofteal · 8 months
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Speaking about Ghost/Soap/Darling omegaverse... May I bring the idea of Soap and Ghost being alpha and Darling an omega? But wait, let me sprinkle a little of angsty thoughts about it:
Johnny and Simon get to spend their ruts together. Hell, they share a room, and even on base they get to have privacy and go through them with the help of each other, not only fulfilling their physical needs, which are sated of course, but also emotional. Yeah sure, heats are emotional but ruts are too, and they spend so much time together that almost, if not all of their ruts together have been spent in the company of each other.
But Darling? Imagine Darling having a heat every time she's alone. Simon and Johnny gone on some mission, gone for weeks and sometimes even months. Trying to satisfy herself with whatever smell is left on Simon's hoodie or Johnny's shirt. She tries to brush away the thoughts of loneliness and being left out that arise every time she rests in her nest, every time she has to painfully get through her heats without her mates' company.
Hell, she tries to hide everything every time Johnny and Simon come home, smelling like each other and fresh bite marks on their necks. She really, really tries. But nothing escapes those two, no. They can smell that little, slightly rotten smell on Darling, sensing her discomfort and those bouts of anger flaring up, those hints of desperation hiding in a slightly-rotten fruit smell. It becomes stronger and stronger each time she sees how close they are after they tell her that another rut came while they were on base, and her? At this point she might lie and say she's on suppressants. Again, they at least suspect about it.
But hell, the fact that there are always fresh bite marks on them every time they come home, while hers is is non-existent (Johnny and Simon foolishly believe she doesn't wish to be bitten), is NOT helping at all.
And they realize how drastic, how deep the problem is once their leave coincides with Darling's heat.
Except she hides. She doesn't let them in, because they maybe have never seen her on her heats.
She doesn't trust them to know how to deal with it, how to deal with an omegas' most vulnerable moment when all they've known is how alphas deal with their ruts.
Darling doesn't trust them, not fully, at least.
Djsjjd jfc when you said omegaverse I was 👁️👁️. Peach I hope you're having such a good day and I must thank you once more for giving us such beautiful stories, I hope nothing but good things happen to you from now on:)
— 🫔 Anon
Oh… okay, I see you. This is so good! There’s so much to explore here… 🩵
18+ / dead disco omegaverse au (it needs a name but we’ll get there?) / mature themes
The door swings wide, and Johnny is nearly bowled over by the scent. It’s everywhere in the flat, wafting down the hall to where they both stand at the threshold, overcome with the smell of overripe fruit, something sour and tart hovering at the precipice.
It’s the smell of their omega in distress.
But what surprises them both, is along with the burnt tannins of distress, is another smell. A ripe smell, a bruised stone fruit smell.
The smell of an omega in heat.
But their omega doesn’t have heats. You’re on suppressants.
Still, it’s definitely your scent. There’s no mistaking it.
Simon tenses, hackles rising with a growl. Johnny’s hand finds his chest, placing his palm over the older, bigger alpha’s heart soothingly. They’ve just both come off a rut, poor timing all things considered. Both exhausted, they were looking forward to getting home and falling into bed with you, cuddling you close while they both slept off the stress from the op and the remaining… sensitivities.
“Darling?” Simon calls, keeping his voice soft and easy.
There’s no answer. The flat is silent.
“Love? Are you here?” Johnny tries, pushing through to the bedroom, where he’s half expecting to see you curled up in the bed.
Except, you’re not.
It looks like you may have been, at one point. It’s a pile of blankets and pillows, haphazardly arranged with various shirts and other soft things.
Johnny chokes on a breath. The scent is much, much stronger in here, and Simon’s eyes slide closed as he draws a deep inhale.
“Omega?” He murmurs, and to their relief, there’s a small whimper from the closet.
When he gets the door open, his heart breaks. Simon’s body goes preternaturally still, and they both stare down at you.
You’re drenched in sweat, burrowed in a pile of clothes, eyes wide. You reek, panic and fear, distress and pain burning in their nostrils, along with the overripe scent, the telltale smell of a heat. Worse, when you look up at them, there’s no recognition there. Nothing to show that you know who they are to you, or even where you are. Johnny shoves away his panic over your confusion, this state, to try to coax you forward into his arms.
“Hey, there ye are.” He reaches for you, slowly, and your body presses against the corner, head shaking back and forth. Johnny frowns. “Darling, it’s okay. It’s us, you’re alright.” His hand gets closer, nearly brushing you knee, and then to their absolute shock, you snarl.
Simon is conflicted. He’s confused.
Why did you tell them you’re on suppressants?
They would have done things a lot differently, if that wasn’t the case. They wouldn’t have left you alone, if they had known. His stomach clenches when he thinks about the possibility that this isn’t the first time you’ve been on your own during a heat.
“Darling.” Simon coos. He doesn’t want to reach for you. He doesn’t want to pull you from the closet, this safe spot you’ve built, your nest. He doesn’t want to force you out, like his father would have. Like he always did to his mother. His father would have gripped you so hard it would have hurt you, left bruises on you. He would have terrified you, taken joy from it. “Omegas are weak.” Simon was raised to believe. “The lesser. It’s our job to teach ‘em.”
You snort out a trembling breath from your nose, little groan slipping from your lips and you rub your wrist on your gland. Johnny makes a strangled sound in his throat as it happens, and Simon doesn’t need to ask to know what he’s thinking.
Only omegas who have been abandoned or lost their mates try to self soothe like that, scent themselves like that. It’s an instinct, something that happens to try to prevent them from becoming overheated or harmed by a heat unmanaged.
“No, no no. It’s alright, love, we’re here.” Johnny pleads, hand still tentatively outstretched while you stare at his fingers. Every time your wrist rubs over your gland, they both cringe, and Johnny’s body goes rigid.
“I- don’t-” You stutter. You blink at them slowly, and he can see it all on your face, plain as day. The pain. The confusion. The distress.
Simon crouches, just outside the closet. He starts up a soothing rumble, trying to lure you towards him. You lift your head slowly when you hear it, when you feel the subharmonics, the song that sings to you.
“Come here, baby.” Your brow creases, and you rub your face. You look exhausted, like you haven’t slept in days and he wonders how long you’ve been you like this, how long you’ve been suffering. You don’t smell like pre heat, so you must be on the curve upwards. Guilt burns in his stomach. “It’s alright now.” Johnny moves next to him, shifting into a kneel very slowly while you watch him, hazy gaze fixed on the bite marks on his neck, over his gland.
“You’re safe.” Johnny coaxes, and he keeps his hand towards you, but unmoving, trying to show you that neither of them are a threat.
They both work to emit soothing scents, trying to lull you into their arms. You watch them warily, curiously, eyes opening and closing in slow motion as your instincts battle whatever confusion is happening beneath the surface.
It works. You crawl slowly out from the corner, t shirt sticking to your skin, your arms trembling under your weight.
“Good girl.” Simon murmurs. Neither of them move, afraid to spook you, and then you’re curling up between their bodies, rubbing your wrist against your gland over and over.
You tuck yourself into them, head laying on Simon’s chest and his hand comes slowly to rub your back, getting you used to his touch, easing you into a more relaxed state while Johnny smooths a hand over your shoulder, coasting his wrist closer and closer to your gland, trying to scent you subtly and soothe you, gentle you. You whimper when he makes contact, and they both press a little closer.
“Shhh. You’re okay, darling. We’re here.” Simon bows his head, skimming his nose overtop your scalp, and you shift, hands grabbing for Johnny, trying to pull his body overtop yours, effectively sandwiching yourself as tight as you can between their mass. You whine, and Johnny hums in your ear, soothing you by scenting until you’re letting out little rumbles of your own, soft purrs puffing against Simon’s chest, Johnny’s lips ghosting across your sweat dotted forehead.
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leahswife · 1 month
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two things can be true at once
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summary: the aftermath of your nights with jenni. part three of "where do we stand".
prequel, part one, part two, part three
you were speechless.
here she was, aitana, standing right in front of you, looking like she had rushed here first thing in the morning while a naked jenni was hiding in your closet.
"listen, i just want to talk, okay? i know you said i shouldn't approach you until i figured my shit out but i have. that's why i'm here." she looked slightly scared you might push her away but apart from how she looked every other time you were together, there seemed to be confidence bubbling within her now.
when you didn't answer because you were too lost in your thoughts and quite frankly, still very much in shock, she continued, "can i come in?" she asked. innocently. absolutely and irrefutably unaware of the vulgarity that had happened in that room the night before. there were still traces of it behind, jenni's clothes scattered on the floor and both of your underwear somewhere in the room.
you cleared your throat, heart pounding in your chest at the mess you found yourself in and you couldn't quite look aitana in the eye. "um, listen. my room is a mess right now, can we meet downstairs? i promise we'll talk." she gave you a smile, relieved you were open to hear her and nodded, "i'll be downstairs. at breakfast, sí?" 
you nodded in agreement and watched her walk towards the elevator before you closed the door and let out a deep breath.
fuck.
you looked over at the closet jenni was still in and walked over to it, opening it to see a naked jenni with crossed arms. 
"i don't appreciate you keeping me waiting."
"jenni, get dressed and leave."
"what? so all it takes is for aitana to show up and now you're throwing me away like garbage?" she got out of the closet, with a frown on her face directed at you.
"what? no." you fumbled with your words, "what are you talking about? i just– we're just gonna talk. and i didn't know you meant to stay?" you continued as she walked past you and started getting dressed in a haste.
she ignored you as she kept getting dressed, which just left you more confused and more nervous than you already were, "jennifer, can you answer me?" you begged. 
she finally looked up and walked over to you while putting her hair up in a bun, "you're right. i didn't. you were just a fuck." she said coldly, very different from the way she had treated you the day before. you don't know why but that felt like a stab in the stomach. "why are you talking like that?" you asked quietly, like a kid too afraid to leave their corner and face the inevitable consequences of their foolishness.
she chuckled with no emotion behind it, "that's what this was, right?" you felt yourself shrink under her fierce gaze. you thought that's what this was but after the two times you were together, you couldn't deny there was something more. 
the first time, although she claimed to have wanted to do bad things to you, she had been so gentle, always asking if it was okay to do something different, exploring your body, always listening to your sounds of approval and what you enjoyed better and what not, learning how to move with you before she got rougher.
the second time was more free, with laughter and banter in between kisses and gasps as she fucked you hard and mercilessly into the bed. and after she would lay kisses all over your body and clean you and get you water, making sure you were comfortable. you would just lay back with a smile and tease her about how you didn't know she was such a softie. 
"solo contigo." she would whisper before kissing you softly. soon, sighs and moans of pleasure would fill the room as you went back to touching each other, this time slowly and gently. 
the night ended with you both cuddling to each other for warmth, you tracing her tattoos and asking each other about past relationships. "so, is it really true you dated alexia?" you felt her chest bounce up and down with laughter and you couldn't help to let out a giggle yourself. "wow, you've been dying to ask that question, haven't you?" you looked up at her from the place you were laying on her chest and saw her amused smile, eyes glinting with something you couldn't quite decipher. 
you propped yourself on your elbow and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her answer. she squinted her eyes at you, "porque quieres saber?" you shrugged, "because i want to know if alexia really stooped that low." you laughed at her opening her mouth in fake shock, "i'm kidding, i'm kidding." you kissed her cheek when you felt her fingers prod at your sides, tickling you. "jenni, broma, broma!" you fell back onto the bed, trying to get her hands off of you. 
she finally backed off and stood on her elbow to look down at you, "did you ever date aitana?" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, "no, why do you ask?"
she shrugged, "i just think there is something between you two."
"we are nothing." you claimed but jenni gave you a knowing look. you huffed in frustration and told her everything that had happened between you two.
"sounds messy. so if she had confessed to you that night, you never would've showed up at my door?"
"no, i wouldn't have." you answered simply and honestly.
she nodded and traced her finger around your stomach, "what if she confessed now?" she asked quietly, eyes meeting yours. again, your hearts starts beating unusually fast, something that shouldn't happen in any situation with jenni but lately it has. truth was, you didn't have an answer for her right now. you've wanted aitana for so long but with her indecisiveness and pulling away had thrown you off. plus jenni came into the scene and you started exploring something that was just supposed to be fun, but laying in this bed with her, having a serious conversation after having been touched with so much care didn't feel like just fun anymore. still, how could you entertain such a thought? jenni lived in mexico, you lived in barcelona. even at national camp, you wouldn't cross each other's paths. so how could you ever work?
you shrugged and stretched, trying to seem nonchalant, "i'd ask her for a threesome with you." you joked, not wanting to ruin the mood and grabbed her hand to intertwine your fingers. she chuckled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. you noticed this little change and rolled over on top of her, locking her hands above her head, "can we not talk about aitana? you don't see me bringing up your situationships." "hm, cute you think i do those." you tilt your head at her in confusion. she didn't? then what were you? your thoughts are cut off as she sits up and kisses you softly. you immediately melt against her mouth and let go of her wrists to wrap your arms around her neck, kissing her back. 
"was that all i was to you?" your voice couldn't get any smaller if it tried to, disbelief and disappointment all over your face. jenni clenched her jaw and looked away. 
"don't take it personally, princesa." she said finally before walking past you and out the door, leaving you dumbfounded.
after having showered and getting ready, you tried your best to not fall apart at the emotions and anxiety going through you and went downstairs to the cafeteria where you saw aitana talking to keira and lucy. you walked up behind them and tugged on aitana's hair slightly, making her turn towards you.
"you wanted to talk?" 
her face lightened up at seeing you and she nodded, "sí."
"do you mind if we get a table here? i'm just really hungry and don't feel like really leaving the hotel today." you suggested quietly to her after she stood up. she looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, "pero estás bien?" you felt your throat start to close up so you just nodded and started your way to one of the free tables away from the other girls.
after you got breakfast, you sat down in front of aitana and silently slid her a plate of what you knew she liked first thing in the morning. even though she had already eaten, she thought the gesture was so sweet, she smiled and accepted the plate with a thank you.
after a few minutes of eating in silence she cleared her throat and you looked up at her, "i want to be straight with you." she started. you put down your fork and nodded at her to keep going, "i know how unfair i have been to you these last few months. how i didn't give you any certainty of what we were, of what i wanted, of how i have been pushing you away lately. i have been stupid." you chuckled at her choice of words which made her giggle a little before turning serious again.
"i thought– i didn't know how to describe what i was feeling. i only had felt this way towards boys when i was younger and even then, i wouldn't let it get as deep as it got with you. i just was always too focused on something else, studies, football, whatever. and i have been the busiest as i have ever been in my career and i thought that letting someone in that way would stray me away or distract me and–"
"aita, breathe."
"right, sorry. " she took a break to take a breath in and then continued, "and the truth is, i felt distracted. all i wanted was to be around you and have more of what you would give me and then i realized that i was excited for something else other than just football. and i got scared. i got scared i wouldn't perform as well because i didn't want to spend all of my evenings studying matches, or talk about it all the time. but then, when i didn't have any of you, it just made me miserable and that distracted me too and these weeks i've been sad and tired and playing has just got harder."
you took a good look at her and noticed the bags under her eyes that you had just assumed was because of her crazy schedule, "what i realized now is that you were a breath of fresh air, and i'm better when i am with you. you excite me and you make me want to know more about myself, and work on myself and be better and again, i was just stupid." she put both hands over her eyes and let out a sigh, "keira calls me a baby gay."
you almost choked on your juice for that, "tana, that's–" you let out a giggle, "yeah, that's about right."
"don't laugh!" she whined and you gave her a teasing smile, "let me finish." you put your hands in the air and nodded at her. "i have feelings for you and i'm not scared of them anymore." your breath hitched and your heart could really help you in this moment and beat normally for a second. this was all you wanted to hear in the last few months but now you felt trapped. how the tables have fucking turned. 
"aitana, you don't know how much i have wanted you to say that." you started and took a deep breath, "but i never knew if i would ever get that from you. and for months, i waited and waited, until i didn't anymore." you looked at her and saw her deflate in her seat, like a kicked puppy. "i'm not with anyone but it wouldn't be fair to you or me if i just ran into your arms." you said, soft and gentle.
she nodded, "i know you don't owe me anything. and of course you're free and i understand if someone has your attention too. but if you're ever ready, i'd like to.. eh.. what's the english word? court you?" she struggled and once again you couldn't help the giggle that came out of your mouth. "we're so formal now, miss bonmatí." she swatted at your shoulder as you giggled. "aita aita, i got it. i'm open to that but right now i think i just need some time for myself, okay?"
she nodded, "but can we be friends again please? because i really miss you and i promise you this time i won't kiss you unless you're ready or want to or-"
"aitanita, do you ever know how to speak in small sentences?" you teased, "but yes, we can be friends. i've missed you too." she beamed at that and scooched over the seats to hug you. you held her close and kissed the top of her head.
"but now i wanna hear all about how i was your gay awakening." you yelped as you felt her hand punch your side.
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alexa-fika · 4 months
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Pops reacting to childreader 💳💳💳💳💳💳💳💳💳💸💸💸🪙💰
I have been cliff hung 1 to many times...
*this part opt but I have a feel either dragon or winged reader would be kinda scared at first.. cus he's built fucking different bro*
Wandering Dragon pt2 (Whitebeard Pirates x fem!reader)
A/N: Homie you got me dying with the comment uou left on the last post and the request made me cough out a lung 😂. What do y’all think bout this one? Cause I think I COOKED, it’s really wholesome
Part one With Whitebeard pirates and revolutionary army
Dividers by @/saradika
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“And you know what? Even if you are only 8, I’m sure Pops isn’t going to turn you away. He’s gonna love you, Reader. You are just that darn adorable.”
She digs her head in his shoulder.
He snickers, feeling her face hearing up
“Aww. You’re so cute, you know that? What happened to the bold rascal?” he teases, gently stroking her head and hair.
The only response he receives is a gentle swat from her tail
Ace laughs even more.
“Aww, is that your way of saying you’re shy? “he says, pulling her closer.
“And a bit of a brat, aren’t you? Don’t think I missed that tail swat. But I can’t stay mad at such a cutie, now can I?” Thatch snickers, ruffling her hair
“Hmm... I need to bring you to Pops. You’re getting clingy already.”
She gasps and shoots up
“Am not!”
Ace laughs a bit.
“Are too!” he says, playfully poking her nose.
She pouts
Thatch grins at their interaction and gestures to Ace, who nods slightly; he approaches the girl slowly and suddenly digs his fingers in her.
She shrieks as he starts tickling her as she tries to wriggle out of Ace’s grasp
Thatch laughs loudly at seeing her struggling.
“Heh.. that’s adorable,”
She begins flapping her wings, getting out of his grasp, and flies up and out of the Storage room, giggling
“H-Hey, come back here.”
She laughs, looking back at them as they try to catch up to her, a similar emotion on their faces; as they chase her, she fails to notice where she is going, crashing right into someone.
“Ow, So…rry?” she begins, but her words die out as she sees who she crashed into, as right in front of her was a man the size of a mountain.
She wraps her wings around herself, coiling her tail around her body in a similar manner as she tries to hide from the man in front of her in fear.
The man is none other than Whitebeard himself, looking down at the young stowaway.
“Hm... who are you?” he asks, glancing at the men who run and stop behind her.
Ace laughs, pointing at her.
“We found her below deck. She says her name’s Reader. Looks like she was exploring before we happened upon her. Probably didn’t even know she was on our ship.”
She whimpers, wrapping her limbs tighter around herself until someone slowly steps closer and kneels down next to her; she takes a peek, spotting a man whose appearance reminded her of a pineapple
Marco smiles at the girl.
“Hey, kid. Don’t be scared. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he says softly in a soothing tone for her.
She stares at him but makes no movement to release her defensive stance
He approaches slowly before squatting in front of her.
“Look, I’m the first division commander of this ship. It’s fine. You’re in safe hands. And that guy you crashed into...”
He points at the big guy.
“That’s our captain. Edward Newgate, but most of us just call him Pops. He’s a real sweetheart. But he can be a bit of an intimidating when you first meet him.”
She sniffles, glancing at the man towering next to them and back to Marco, and then glances at Thatch and Ace behind her
Ace and Thatch smile, seeing her look at them.
“Don’t worry,” Ace says gently
“Pops, he’s not gonna hurt you either. No way.” Ace confirms
“Marco’s right. I know he may look intimidating, but he’s like a father to all of us; he would never hurt you,” Thatch says, backing his crewmates up
She glances back to Marco in front of her
He’s still smiling softly at her, not pushing her to come out of her defensive position.
“Do you want to come say hi to him?”
She nods, slowly unfurling herself
Marco gently grabs her hand, walking her right up to Whitebeard himself. He gently nudges her forward so she and the captain can meet each other.
She glances up at him, stretches her wing, and slowly flies up so that she is face-to-face with him
“..ny…mi…ter” she mumbles
He raises an eyebrow
“What was that?”
“You look funny, mister,” she mutters
Whitebeard laughs uproariously.
“Haha! Do I look funny? That is quite an interesting description, young lady. I mean, I suppose I look a bit weird but funny? You’re the only person to ever say that to me.” he snickers
“I like this one, bold one,” he says, glancing down at his sons
“And she’s pretty feisty, I can tell. Not too many kids can call Whitebeard funny,” Thatch adds in
“She’s one of a kind, that’s for sure,” Marco says, smiling at her
“She’s a clingy one, too,” Ace adds
This snaps her out of her shy, fear-filled state as she flies down and barrels into Ace
“Am not!”
Ace laughs, catching her.
“See, clingy!” he says teasingly.
“And a brat, can’t forget that,” Thatch scoffs.
Whitebeard laughs louder, amused by his crew’s responses
She hmph fluttering away from the pair and closer to the giant; she began buzzing around him
Whitebeard chuckles, amused by her playful behavior, as he begins playing with her, making her flutter around.
“Heh, you’re a real-spirited kid. Almost reminds me of a certain someone I know,” he says, looking over to Ace.
“Are you a dragon? You’re big like one.”
Whitebeard laughs at her question, amused by the comparison.
“No, I’m not a dragon. I’m a Human, just a very, very big one.”
“Do you know much about what a devil fruit is, kid?” he asks her
“Yeah! Mister Sabo told me about it! They give you these superb powers, right?”
Ace’s eyes widen
“Oi kid, come over here a sec.”
“Hmm?” They dive down towards the three men
“What?”
“Who did you say told you about a devil fruit?”
“Mister Sabo!”
Ace grins
“By any chance, did this Sabo tell you if he had a devil fruit?”
“Yeah! He said he had a Mera Mera fruit. I thought he was a dragon since he could make fire, but he said he wasn’t a dragon.” She pouts as she says this
“He just ate the Mera Mera and was a fireman! And it’s so funny, 'cause there was this grumpy guy called Dragon, and he wasn’t a dragon either! I was so sad,” she rambles on
Ace burst into laughter, igniting his hand on fire in a similar fashion Sabo had done back then
She looks at it and glances between the flame and Ace’s face a few times
“It’s you!”
Ace grins at her before extinguishing the flames on his hand
“It is me,” he says, confirming the little girl’s discovery
“Mister Sabo said you and him had the same mera mera fruit, which is never heard of!”
Ace nods
“Yup, that’s about right. Me and Sabo both ate a specific type of fruit known as the Mera Mera no Mi; I got really hurt a while ago, was gone for a minute there, which is why we think the mera mera appeared again, and he ate it, so now we both have it’s power” he said pointing to a big scar on his chest
“That’s so cool!” She squeals
“Ah! Are you okay? That looks like a pretty big scar!”
Ace chuckles
“I’m fine now; got seen by the best doctors to get a look at it; one of them is the guy behind you!”
She glances at Marco
“Mister Pineapple did?!”
Marco stills as her comment slight red tint growing on his face while Ace and Thatch start laughing uncontrollably; even Whitebeard lets out a snort at her exclamation
Marco sighs, shaking his head with a slight smile on his face
“Really are a little Rascal,” he mutters
“Yes, I helped patch him up a while back, used my devil fruit,” he said as his body ignited in flames
She gasps
“Did you also eat Mera Mera?”
Marco chuckles
“Not quite. I also ate a devil fruit, but unlike Sabo and Ace, I ate the Tori Tori no Mi.”
“Wah? There’s more than one type?”
“There are hundreds, if not thousands, of them. Each grants you a different power.”
“Superb! Mister Pops, what about you? What fruit did you eat?”
“Me? Well, I happen to have eaten the Gura Gura no Mi. It was a long time ago when I ate it, but it’s a very powerful one. It allows you to control earthquakes and vibrations.” Whitebeard explains with a smile on his face
“That's so cool,” they squeal
“It certainly is,” Whitebeard says, smiling.
“I can do all sorts of things with it, like this.”
He raises his hand, and a massive shockwave emanates from it, shaking the Moby Dick to its core. It even causes the little girl to fly backward into Ace’s arms.
The tiny child squeaks, her coordination being thrown off at the sudden movement
She takes a second to get her surroundings straight but marvels at Whitebeard’s display
“Haha, see what I meant? Pretty potent fruit, huh?” Whitebeard asks, seemingly pleased that the girl is so engaged by his abilities.
Ace takes this as a chance to play around with the little girl a bit, holding her and swinging her slightly as she lands in his arms.
“Ah, that reminds me, Reader, you hungry? I can prepare you something. Got you this in the meantime,” he says, throwing an apple her way
“Thank you! Here!” She says, coughing; the others look worried; their worried stares soon turn into something else as she coughs up some gold coins, offering them to Thatch
They just stare at it dumbfounded as she coughs up gold coins.
“What the hell?!” Thatch exclaims
“Watch your language around her,” Ace says, slapping the back of his head
“Why you…” he growls as they begin brawling
Reader flies above them, laughing at their interactions
“You have a wild family, Mister Pops”
Whitebeard sighs, chuckling at his son’s antics.
“Oh, you have no idea, girl,” he chuckles
Marco laughs quietly at the both of them,
“Settle down, boys,” he chides them, not moving to try and settle the argument between the two of them; as Reader continues laughing at the chaos unfolding, Whitebeard glances at her.
“Man… you’re gonna be a real handful for all of us, aren’t ya?” Whitebeard chuckles
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I was intending this to be a real short one but then I couldn’t find a place to stop it without it being to sudden so I just kept going I found a place I could have cut it but then I was like nah, we need more.
Taglist:
@imaginarydreams
@amethystviolin
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norrizzandpia · 6 months
Text
Masterlist 2
Lando Norris:
It’s Your Birthday. Of Course, I’m Here
It’s Lando’s birthday and Y/n can’t make it. Or so he thinks.
A Sign Of My Love
In which Lando chooses the most obvious way to declare his love for his best friend and she is the only one who doesn’t get it.
All He Needed Was Her
Following the Vegas ‘23 crash, Y/n and Adam find Lando in his hospital bed, yearning for the comfort of his girlfriend’s touch.
A Second Chance
Secrets are a hard thing to live with, they always come out in the end. When it comes to Y/n and Lando, their loved ones struggle to understand what occurred between the two when both of them refuse to discuss it. What happened that night that warranted two people so in love to separate? What triggered Lando to become so violent, so hostile? Why is there a lone engagement ring lingering in Lando’s apartment when it’s meant to rest on Y/n’s finger? What’s happened?
You Were Never What I Wanted, Pt. 2
Lando and Y/n have never liked each other and it’s only the distaste the world has for them when McLaren forces them to “put on a show for the public”. At first, a few hand holds and light, quick kisses seem to be tolerable, yet feather light touches turn into longing stares and, suddenly, they’re falling in love. Although, hatred is a powerful emotion. Can love really trump it?
Ski Trips and Smiles
A proposal on a snowy ski trip.
Showing You My Love
McLaren’s forced Lando into a PR stunt of a relationship and his girlfriend, Y/n, back into hiding just when she was ready to go public.
One-Sided Fake Dating Pt. 2
When Y/n has continuously been used for the image that has pristinely been constructed for her and the connections she has through relation to her parents, she has cultivated a dark image on the world, especially on love. However, when Lando comes into her life and shows her what it’s like to be wanted for who you are and not what you can provide, she begins to open up and she begins to explore what it’s like to be loved and to love. Although, nothing is permanent and what happens when the man she had thought to be better than everyone who had previously screwed her over turns out to be worse?
Love You the Way I Do
When Y/n starts to pull back, Lando knows exactly what to do.
When?
Apparently, to Lando, it is not a question of if he will marry Y/n, it is when.
Safe With Me, Love
When a man at a club makes Y/n uncomfortable, touching her, grabbing her, Lando’s the first to stop it.
The First Time
In the midst of the dirtiest act, Lando’s loose lips stall his impending orgasm.
Let Me Be Happy. Don’t Be Mean.
Y/n is not experienced in the realm of dating. For years, she has convinced herself that no man sees her as lovable. So, when a guy steps into the picture who checks off all the boxes, making her feel secure in his feelings towards her, she’s elated. However, when she goes to share in the excitement with her best friend, he ruins it all, along with it her happiness, by uttering three small words.
My Coat, Your Coat
Y/n is freezing. Lando is her boyfriend. There’s only one remedy.
Whatcha Readin’?
It was a good story, that was her only argument.
Look How Amazing You Are
After Lando’s disastrous qualifying in Qatar and redeeming podium just hours later, Y/n is there to remind Lando of where his worth truly lies.
Sparkling Eyes
When Y/n is distracted, Lando usually takes the opportunity to admire her. Although, this time, he has an audience.
She Calls Me Daddy Too
When Y/n and Lando are having dinner at her house with her parents, Y/n asks her father to pass the salt. Too bad she didn’t specify which one she was referring to.
His
When a fun pool party turns into a hurtful disaster, the only good thing to come from it is two confessions.
I’ve Got You
In the midst of the FIA determining whether his lap times will be deleted, Y/n finds her boyfriend sitting in front of multiple cameras, but that doesn’t matter, he’s upset and she’s got him.
Lala
When Y/n meets Lando’s family for the first time, Lando warns her about his niece who glues to his side whenever he’s around. What she isn’t expecting, however, is the heart melting nicknames he has been given. It prompts some interesting confessions.
My Name
Y/n and Lando have a painful past together. When they go their separate ways and are left to pick up the pieces, Lando realizes he can no longer hear the woman he loved’s name without feeling deeply ashamed.
We Can Be Kids For Right Now
When her week has tried to suffocate her, Lando turns up at her door and forces her to remember just how worthy she truly is.
Wrong Number, Right Person
A wrong number leads Lando right to Y/n, but even the beautiful love they find together struggles to stand a chance against Lando’s lie of identity.
HE WON! LAN WON!
A long awaited win warrants a shouting Y/n, the proud girlfriend of Lando Norris, 2024 Miami Grand Prix Race Winner. Not only that, but also a smiling Lando now ready for questions about their future.
Olive
After a massive loss, Lando and Y/n find themselves losing sight of the love they once shared. A ghost town in a house they once imprinted their love in is riddled in pain and grief. Right at the edge of the cliff, ready to give up and part ways, an anniversary pulls them back together and reunites them in what they once had.
Oscar Piastri:
We Heard You. (Smut Warning)
One way to shock the drivers? Have sex with your girlfriend one room over.
British v. American
In which Oscar tries to teach his girlfriend how to drive in England. The only catch? She’s never driven on the other side of the road. Oh, and she’s never driven anywhere else except for California.
Don’t Worry Everyone. I’m Alive.
The fans love her, so when they hear their favorite driver, her boyfriend, killed her, they aren’t happy.
Bend Over
In which Oscar acts like a teenage boy.
Sleeping Buddies or Dating?
Oscar and Y/n love to sleep next to each other. They don’t love each other. That’s it.
Storms
Where Y/n hates thunder storms and Oscar’s the only person who can calm her down.
One Lucky Man
After care with OP
Let’s Have A Baby, Baby
There is nothing Oscar wants more than for Y/n to get pregnant with his kid, and everyone knows it.
When’s It My Turn
When Oscar can’t find Y/n and realizes she’s off with Logan, he gets possessive over how much time his girlfriend has to give.
Chuck a Uey
Blurb when Non-Australian!Reader misses a turn and Oscar tells her to “chuck a uey”. Long story short, she has absolutely no clue what that means.
Oscar’s Car (Smut Warning)
A fun time in the back of his car turns to be the most flustered and regretful the couple has ever been when a man recognizes the boy’s car and begins to take a video.
To Be Loved Is To Be Seen
Oscar knows his girlfriend well and it’s obvious to him when she starts breaking down. He’s happy to help or, more specifically, remind her how worth it she is.
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helen-with-an-a · 1 month
Text
I am an Adult pt 3.5
Hi. So I wanted to a sub-chapter kinda thing about Lena's side of the relationship/first few months etc. So here it is. Also shout out to the anons who gave me some inspo for this - u really helped. Also, I would like to preface this by saying I don't really know much about the Wolfsburg team as a whole, so if anything's wrong please let me know.
In this fic - the bold text is meant to be in German (but I didn't want bascially the whole thing to be unreadable for people) so just imagine it's in German
Barca Femeni x Reader / Lena Oberdorf x Reader / VfL Wolfsburg x Lena Oberdorf
Description: R and Lena's relationship from Lena's perspective
Word Count: 2.7k
Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 3.5 : Part 4
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Lena was too smiley. That was the first thing Jule noticed after the Barca match. The hotel they were staying in was nice, the weather was very warm compared to Wolfsburg, and the day off was well deserved.
“What’s up with you?” She asked her best friend, eyeing her suspiciously.
“Huh? Oh, nothing,” Lena dismissed her as she fell onto her bed, phone in her hand.
“Speaking English now, are we?” Jule teased, studying Lena. She had a slight flush to her skin that wasn’t there this morning. She seemed too happy for someone who had just been ‘exploring’ all day. “What did you do today?”
“Nothing … uh, nothing much; I just wandered ‘round a bit,” Lena said distractedly. Jule hummed in false agreement. Something was going on.
A gasp pulled Jule from her inspection. It was Lena, staring joyfully at her phone before hurriedly typing away. Ok, something was most definitely going on, and Jule was going to find out what and soon.
“I’m going …” Lena cleared her throat and shook her head as if to shake away the English. “I’m going to go shower … uh … yeh.” She gathered up her stuff and headed to the attached bathroom, leaving her phone on the bed. Perfect, it was time to snoop; Jule congratulated the universe on its opportunistic timing.
[Initial]💙❤️: SPOTIFY LINK – One Direction, ‘I Should Have Kissed You’:  https://www.spotify......
L💚: SPOTIFY LINK – Odeal, ‘Next Time’: https://www.spotify.......
Who was ‘[Initial]💙❤️’ ? And why were they sending Lena a link to old One Direction songs? Specifically, ‘I Should Have Kissed You’? And why was Lena sending a song back telling them ‘next time’? The bathroom door opened a little.
“Jule, did I leave my phone?”
“Uhhhhhh, yeh, you did. Here,” Jule quickly locked Lena’s phone and rushed to hand it to her.
“Gracias,” Lena said absentmindedly, closing the door again. Spanish? Since when did Lena speak Spanish?
Slowly, the pieces slid into place for Jule. Lena had been out all day. Lena came back too happy and constantly looking at her phone. Lena replied in English and Spanish. Lena had received a text telling her that someone should have kissed her. Lena responded with the promise of next time. Lena was definitely on a date.
It wasn’t confirmed for Jule until the return leg. Much like in Barcelona, Lena disappeared all day and reappeared, looking far too happy the day after. She definitely went on another date.
“So,” Jule said as she cornered Lena in the locker room during recovery. “How was your date?”
“Oh, it was great. We went-” Lena froze. How did Jule know about her date? “W-what date?” Lena tried to cover slip up. Jule grinned devilishly, refusing to let Lena weasel her way out of this questioning.
“You know, your date with the Barca player,” she laughed at Lena’s horrified expression.
“I didn’t … What … me? No … I don’t,” Lena rubbed the back of her neck, trying to hide the dark blush adorning her cheeks.
“Don’t lie to me, Lena Sophie! I am your best friend. You went on a date, 2 dates, and didn’t tell me,” Jule said, slightly hurt that Lena didn’t trust her with this. It was well known that Lena didn’t do dates; she didn’t do the emotional side of romance. She flirted, she charmed, and she took people home – only to have them leave the next morning, often not quite remembering their name when the sun rose. To see her friend finally consider a date, multiple dates - and maybe something more – Christmas had come early for Jule Brand.
“What d-” Lena started to deny, but after seeing Jule’s face, she knew she was caught. She sighed before spilling her happiest secret, “She asked me after the Barca match if I wanted to see some stuff in Barcelona. It was such a good time. We went to breakfast, and she made me try all these Spanish and Catalonian pastries. Then, she showed me all the tourist spots. She took me to lunch and stuff and then showed me all the quieter places she likes to go. Then, we ended with dinner, and it was just, ugh. So, so perfect.” Jule smiled, liking this side of Lena she hadn’t seen before. “And then, we so nearly kissed when she walked me back to the hotel and then she sent me a song telling me she wanted to kiss me and,” Lena sighed dreamily. “And we’ve been texted and phoning and whatnot, but I asked her out after our match on Sunday, and we went to the Christmas Market, even though it’s only November because she mentioned she’d never been to one before, and we ate far too much and then …” Lena paused, the romantic gushing so uncharacteristic of her. “She kissed me. She kissed me, Jule. And it was so perfect, and, ugh…” she trailed off again. “I’ve never felt like this before,” she whispered, grinning to herself as she confessed.
“She sounds wonderful, Lena. But who is ‘she’?” Jule teased lightly, nudging her best friend.
“Um … Y/N. The number 17 put 2 past us on Sunday,” Lena smiled as she said your name, a lovesick expression taking over. “She’s got this smile and, god, her laugh. It’s like angels or something. She so, so beautiful, Jule.” Lena gushed. Jule hadn’t seen Lena like this, ever, but she wasn’t opposed to the in-love ramblings. She liked this side of Lena and hoped she would stay for a long while. “But she’s also funny, and kind, and sweet, and just … she’s already picking up German for me. I didn’t even ask her to; she just turned up here, and at the Market, she went to ask a seller about this piece of jewellery, and it was in pretty decent German. She was so cute, she got all blushy and shy afterwards and…” she sighed again. Her fingers coming to fiddle with the woven bracelet on her wrist – a gift from you to remember you by. Like she could ever forget you.
“Wow, Lena. When can I meet the girl that’s got you so lovesick?” Jule teased gently, bumping her shoulder against Lena’s.
“Not for a while, sorry, Jule. It’s just, it’s all so new, and we haven’t really discussed what we are yet, and we won’t be able to see each other for a while because of our schedules and, um…” Lena had the decency to look slightly embarrassed at her response, but she loved the idea of being able to keep you all to herself for a little while.
“No, I get it, no worries,” Jule smiled understandingly. “I can see that she makes you happy, and that’s all that matters,” she added, squeezing Lena’s hand at her words. “But I will require regular updates from you about how things are going, ok? ‘Cos … my best friends in loooove,” she sang out, laughing at Lena’s bright blush.
“Yeh, yeh, let’s go to recovery, c’mon,” Lena said, shoving her friend out of the empty changing room.
--------------------------------
[Initial]💙❤️: I want to tell them about u x
L💚: Tell em
L💚: Can I tell my team?
[Initial]💙❤️: Omg yesssss xxxxxxxxxxxx
Lena had permission from you to tell the team, and she was so, so happy about it. Telling Jule made everything feel so much more real; she couldn’t imagine how telling the team would go. She figured she’d start with the girls she was closest with.
Jule, Ewa, and Sveindis all gathered in her living room as Lena stood nervously in front of the TV.
“Um, so … I have something I need to tell you guys,” Lena said, fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt. Why was she so nervous? She loved the idea of being able to take you out on dates without hiding anything; she wanted to be in the crowd when watching your matches; she wanted to kiss you in front of the whole world … and yet she was nervous about this. If she had to guess, she would say it’s because she hasn’t done this before. She doesn’t date, and she’s never had to introduce her teammates to a partner before, but here she was, about to burst your little bubble of private joy. You had told her you’d done it already – or at least, you didn’t discourage the team when they snooped and didn’t stop them from guessing.
“Oh, my god. Are you leaving?” Sveindis asked.
“What? No!” Not yet, anyway. Lena replied.
“Are you dying?” Ewa countered. Lena was slightly shocked at her question.
“Ewa!” Lena gasped.
“Are you pregnant then? Did something happen? Are you ok?” Sveindis sat up, full of concern for her friend.
“No, good God, no. No, I’m fine.” Lena looked horrified that that was what her best friend’s brain jumped to.“I … I just needed to tell you that I have a girlfriend…” There was a split second of silence before Sveindis and Ewa burst into hysterical laughter. Lena looked towards Jule, unsure of the scene in front of her.
“Yeh, right. Good one, L.” Sveindis joked between peals of laughter.
“A girlfriend, nice one, Lena” Ewa wheezed.
“Guys,” Jule tried. She could see Lena’s face fall. When Lena had invited them to come over this afternoon, she had been so excited—she could finally share with her friends, her family, that she had a girlfriend—an actual, real girlfriend who treated her well and made her oh-so-happy. And now they were laughing at her. Was the idea of her being in a relationship so comedic that it brought tears to their eyes?
“You know what, fuck you. Get out, get out now.” Lena shouted, causing an immediate cease to the laughter.
“Lena, c’mon. That was a good joke -” Ewa started.
“It wasn’t a joke. I have a girlfriend. And I wanted to tell you today, but you think it’s basically impossible for me to have one. So, Get. Out!”
“Are you serious?” Sveindis asked.
“Get the fuck. Out. Of my House.” Lena replied, moving to open the door for them.
“Not about that, about having a girlfriend?” She ignored the open door, a clear sign that she was unwelcome at the moment.
“Yes. And I was really excited to tell you, but you guys find it so hilarious that I could have a relationship.” Lena said, hurt that her friends were so disbelieving of her.
“No, it’s just … you’ve told us so many times that you don’t date. You are … were … so adamant over it.”
“And when you stopped mentioning your one-night stands and stuff, we figured you were going through a dry spell or something,” Ewa added.
“We’re sorry for not believing you,” they both hung their heads, embarrassed that they hurt a close friend. Lena closed the door gently and returned to the living room.
“Does this mean I can finally meet her?” Jule asked after a moment of awkward silence.
“You know who she is? That’s not fair; how come Jule gets to know first?” Ewa moaned.
“Not yet, Jule. I still need to tell the rest of the girls first,” Lena sighed, sitting down on the armchair by the window. “And Jule knows first because she figured it out.” She explained to Eva.
“You should have seen her after the Barca match. She was so giddy, all blushy, and staring at her phone. Ugh, it was so cute. And then, after the home leg, she came into the changing room and couldn’t stop smiling. I’m surprised you haven’t caught on sooner; she’s not very subtle.” Jule gushed.
“So, it’s a Barca player? Who is it?” Sveindis asked.
“No, wait, let me guess,” Ewa shouted. “Ba-Batlle? Is that how you say it?” Lena giggled as Ewa bounced excitedly on the sofa.
“No, she has that maybe-thing with Bronze. Coll?” Sveindis countered.
“No, she’s definitely in a relationship; they did a lock screen video thing, and she was her girlfriend” Ewa and Sveindis pushed their heads together, coming up with ideas of who might have stolen their best friend's heart.
“What about Y/S/N? Y/N? Is that her name?” They looked to Lena for an answer. Whilst a verbal one wasn’t given, it wasn’t needed. The beaming smile was all that was required.
“Awww, she’s a cutie.” Ewa came over to hug Lena
“Real sweet, too. She came to check on Camilla when Pina did that tackle.” Sviendis agreed. “Now, tell us all about it. I want all the details!” They all got themselves comfy as Lena spilt all the information about the best few months of her life.
L💚: I told some of them
[Initial]💙❤️: Omg really??
[Initial]💙❤️: What did they say?????
L💚: They didn’t believe me at first ahahahaha
L💚: They thought u may have been Ona or Cata !!!!
[Initial]💙❤️: ahahahahahahhahahhahahahhahahaha
L💚: But then they said ur a cutie and real sweet
L💚: Which u r, obviously xxx
[Initial]💙❤️: Stoppppppp
[Initial]💙❤️: Ur gonna make me cry xx
[Initial]💙❤️: R u gonna tell the rest ?????
[Initial]💙❤️: No rush or anything xxx
L💚: Yeh I am xxx
L💚: I wanna tell the world ur mine xx
[Initial]💙❤️: now I’m actually crying wtf
[Initial]💙❤️: 1 photo image attached
[Initial]💙❤️: I wanna tell the world ur mine xxxxx
L💚: Schatzzzzzzz xxxx
[Initial]💙❤️: A nickname now?
L💚: Shut uppppp
[Initial]💙❤️: never
[Initial]💙❤️: Meine Liebeeeeeeee
L💚: 🩷🩷🩷🩷
--------------------------------
“Obi,” Alex called as the training ended for the day. “I need to talk to you.” Fuck! Lena tried to remember what she might have done to piss Alex off. She had behaved all training session – for the most part; the thing with the water was Riola’s fault, not hers. She was guided into an empty media room and was met with Svenja sitting on the table. Fuckkkkk! What had she done? Two players she saw as maternal figures had their Angry Faces on.
“Before you say anything. It wasn’t me,” Lena rushed to cover her back.
“What wasn’t you?” Svenja asked.
“Whatever you think I’ve done,” Lena answered cryptically. She wasn’t admitting to anything.
“So, you don’t have a girlfriend then?” Alex asked. “Sveindis was lying to Vivi?”
“Um … my answer depends on how mad you will be.” Lena ducked her head to avoid Alex’s gaze.
“We’re not mad that you have a girlfriend, Lena.” Svenja pushed herself from the table and took Lena’s hand.
“We’re mildly irritated we found out from changing room gossip,” Alex added, coming over to squeeze Lena’s shoulders. “Look at me,” she instructed when Lena still refused to look her in the eye.
“Your girlfriend is Y/F/N Y/S/N, yes? Barca’s number 17.”
“Yeh,” Lena couldn’t help the small smile that spread across her face at the mention of you.
“Does she treat you well, Obi?” Svenja asked.
“Yes, she treats me very well.”
“And you treat her well?” Alex added.
“I like to think so. She said I make her happy.”
“Good. When will she next be in Wolfsburg? Or at a match?” Svenja asked
“I’m going to see her at her away game in Madrid when we have the free weekend, but our schedules don’t line up for a while after that. They match up again just after the international break, so she’s coming here.” Lena explained.
“Good, gives us longer to prepare a speech.” Alex said to Svenja
“Speech?” Lena asked, slightly weary of what might happen – she knew that the 2 women could be very intimidating, especially if you weren’t German or didn’t know them very well.
“Yes, a speech—the ‘do not mess with Obi’ speech. I don’t doubt you will get one from Putellas and maybe Bronze and Paños, too. They seem very protective of her.” Svenja pulled Lena into a hug as Alex ruffled her hair.
L💚: Whose speech will be worse? Alexia’s or Alex and Svenja’s?
[Initial]💙❤️: Hmm, scary Germans or scary Spaniards???
L💚: I will endure it
L💚: Just for u Schatz
[Initial]💙❤️: As will I
[Initial]💙❤️: Only 4 u meine Leibe
I hope you enjoyed this little sub-chapter thing. I'm on my uni holidays atm so hopefully I can write the next chapter fairly soon but I do have deadlines etc <3
Also thank you to all the love from the anons ahaha - it means a lot to me <3<3<3<3<3<3
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Okay, I wanna talk about Fun and Games and the Anne and Mary plot.
First thing: the whole setup with Anne and Mary is a very one-to-one reference to the play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, as many have already pointed out, but unless you've seen the play you might miss just how clear the reference is - there are lots of direct, kinda subtle references, from Anne kissing Stede to Mary throwing an axe at Anne's clock, but the main plot of this episode is so heavily rooted in what happens in the play that it's very worth talking about. "Fun and Games" is the title of the first act of the play.
A brief synopsis of the play, if you've never seen it. It will sound very familiar. The setup is an older couple having a younger couple (who mirror them in many ways, down to occupation) over at their house. George and Martha, the older couple, have a relationship that at first seems normal but quickly becomes obviously dysfunctional. They're passive-aggressive with each other, have all these little games they play with each other with rules obvious only to them, and frequently get into heated arguments and try to embarrass each other in front of their guests. Nick and Honey, the younger couple, are revealed as the play goes on to have some issues between them that could very easily lead to their marriage going the same way as George and Martha's, just fun and games because they can't handle actually talking like adults and accepting each other as they are. When George and Martha are forced to stop playing little games with each other, the play concludes with an open ending, and we as the audience are left to wonder if George and Martha will be able to actually talk through their emotions and problems without the impuse to avoid them that they've been leaning on for years.
The name of the play is a reference to Virginia Woolf, who was an author very invested in earnest exploration of a character's inner thoughts and feelings - playwright Edward Albee says that the play's title can be read, really, as "who's afraid of living life without false illusions?" and when Martha says she's "afraid of Virginia Woolf," that's what she means. The characters in the play constantly play games and create little illusions to hide from their real feelings and what happened in reality because it's too scary for them to be honest with themselves and with each other.
Anne and Mary are a cautionary tale for Ed and Stede, but it's not a simple "if you quit piracy you're going to get bored with each other and regret it." The cautionary tale is "if you refuse to talk with each other, if you refuse to actually address the reality of the situations you're in together, if you allow yourselves to become so bitter with each other because you would rather pretend you can get by with fun and games instead of acting like adults in a relationship, that is when you'll end up like Anne and Mary." It's notable that Mary mocks Ed and Stede for acting like teenage boys and not having an "adult" relationship, because she and Anne approach their relationship very childishly, snipping with each other, trying to get a rise out of each other, and refusing to actually talk, and when Ed and Stede are having an open, earnest, heartfelt conversation, they laugh and mock them for it.
And I think a lot of analyses of this episode miss that Anne and Mary broke free from the fun and games cycle at the end of the episode. When Anne set their shop on fire, she's burning the illusions they've been living with, too - their version of George and Martha's game is trying to "kill" each other, so scared of that final mystery, which of them is going to keel over first, that they have to make it into a game. The episode is not saying that it was a mistake for Anne and Mary to quit piracy and settle down. It's saying that their problem is refusing to actually talk to each other and communicate like adults, and when Anne commits to Mary over their shop, this symbol of the life they've become so bitter about and all the games they play to talk around their feelings with each other, they share a hug and we get the sense that their relationship is on the mend.
This episode is extremely well-crafted. It references the play without becoming overly derivative, but the central themes remain strong. It's a cautionary tale for Ed and Stede, but it's not a basic one, and it comes back at the end of the season when Ed panics and runs away to live an illusion of a fisherman instead of communicating with his boyfriend. Ed and Stede are not becoming Anne and Mary when they settle down together - it's the opposite, they're committing to what they want and living a life without illusions.
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daisynik7 · 6 months
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Sweet Like Honey
Chapter 2: After I Love You
Pairing: Nanami x f!reader
Rating: Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Word Count: ~3.0k
cw: established relationship, fluff, smut – PIV sex (missionary, cowgirl), nipple play, cunnilingus, fingering, slight bondage, cream pie, sex without a condom, pet names (sweetheart, baby), daddy kink (very brief)
Summary: You and Nanami say I love you for the first time in your childhood bedroom, where you almost get carried away. That night, the two of you continue what you started.
Author’s Notes: Here is the second spicy side story for A Bento for Kento! This is the smutty aftermath of The Apple of His Eye Chapter 1, in case anyone wants to read that first if you haven’t already! Anyways, this is a repost (I originally posted this last year), but it’s been edited and rewritten to match my current style. I hope you enjoy! Dividers by @/cafekitsune.
Previous Chapter | Sweet Like Honey Masterlist | Next Chapter
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Kento, I love you. 
I really love you, Kento.
Waves of euphoria ripple throughout Nanami when he hears her say it. For a second, he stays still, unable to move. He can only stare at her with wide eyes, speechless. Then, without thinking, he kisses her full on the lips, his composure crumbling from the weight of those words. 
She loves him. And he loves her. They love each other. 
Before he knows it, he’s on top of her, dress all the way up to her neck, lips wet from kissing, his cheeks hot and tinted pink as he explores her almost bare body. It isn’t until he hears stomping when he realizes he’s about to make love to his girlfriend in her childhood bedroom during a family party. A party where he just met her parents, who are right below them. 
They break apart promptly, Ren swinging the door open to invite them to a game of charades. Good, clean, innocent fun. Unlike what they were about to partake in if they weren’t so conveniently interrupted. It’s for the best, Nanami thinks, as he stands with his back towards the door, hiding the growing bulge in his pants from his former student/future brother-in-law. If they continued down that dangerous road, there’s no way they would have kept quiet. Not with the emotions that they have for each other now.
Show me how much you love me. Tonight. Let’s finish what we started.
That’s what she suggests. Nanami doesn’t expect them to actually have sex tonight, since they are riding back to her home with Ren. So, he dismisses it as a naughty comment made in a moment of passion. 
They spend a few more hours at the party, playing charades, mingling with her family, and eating more delicious food. He takes every chance he can to touch her, from holding her hand to stroking her back. He doesn’t take his eyes off her. How can he? This sweet angel loves him. 
Near the end of the night, Ren informs them that he’ll be staying the weekend with his parents; his sister has the house all to herself. This intrigues Nanami, excites him. He’s spent the night at her place plenty of times, but with her protective younger brother sleeping in the next room, they’ve had to set boundaries with each other when it comes to intimacy. This means no sex whatsoever when Ren is there, which they’ve miraculously managed to abide by so far. 
The thought of making love to her in her house, the one forbidden sanctuary, is titillating. Too many times has he almost given into temptation as they shared her bed, bodies snuggled together, his hands always drifting to the most sensual parts of her. They’ve held back each time they kissed goodnight, the desire to go further heavy against their lips, as her brother snores on the opposite side of the wall. And now tonight, after a perfect day spent with the woman he loves, he has no intentions of holding back, not when this rare opportunity has been presented to them. He plans to take full advantage of it. 
Show me how much you love me. Let’s finish what we started.
That’s what she suggests. So that’s what they’ll do. 
~~~
As you ride the train back home, Nanami’s hand entwined with yours, a familiar sensation pools in your stomach. The news that your brother is staying at your parent’s house changes everything. The thought of being alone in your home with Nanami sparks a flame that ignites your entire being. Will you be able to control yourself once you step through that door? Your house is quite small, but even the bedroom seems too far away. You’re tempted to let him have you on the couch, maybe the kitchen counter. Whatever is closer, really. 
Lost in your dirty thoughts, you jolt at the sudden sound of his voice in your ear. “Do you still want to finish what we started?” 
You turn to look at him, grinning. “What do you want to do?” 
There’s a heavy pause before he whispers, “I want to christen that bed of yours. Will you let me?”
You squeeze your thighs together, throbbing between your legs. “I’ll let you do whatever you want with me.” 
His nostrils flare slightly as he stares at you. The primal look in his gaze makes you think he’ll take you here on the train, in front of these other passengers. He turns his head away and takes a few deep breaths, tightening his grip on you. You can tell he’s trying to compose himself. Once the train reaches your stop, he immediately gets up and leads you past the crowds of people, speed walking all the way to your house in record time. 
You fumble through your purse to look for your keys, trembling with anticipation. He stands behind you, pawing at your waist and mouth hot on the back of your neck as you unlock the door. Once you’re inside, he pushes you gently against the wall and kisses you, tongue grazing your lips. He sheds his tan blazer as you both kick off your shoes. “Kento,” you breathe out, as he moves to your neck. Your skin is on fire under his touch. 
He says your name in return, licking a stripe behind your ear. “I love you.”
“I love you,” you repeat, tugging at his spotted tie. He takes it off and wraps it tightly around his fingers, caressing your cheek, the fabric velvety on your skin. His thumb drags your bottom lip as he drifts down to your chest. 
“Your heart is beating so fast. Are you nervous?” He rests his forehead on yours, lids shut as he breathes deeply through his nose.
You giggle. “Not nervous. Just really, really horny.”
He smirks. “Naughty girl. I’ll take care of you.” He slides underneath your dress, rubbing you through your panties. “Always so wet for me. My good girl.” It’s dangerous the way he says it. All logical thinking is erased from your mind and the only thing you desire is to feel him inside you.
“Baby, please,” you whine, clutching his collar in your fists.  
Chuckling, he teases, “No patience for foreplay?” 
“You told me you want to christen my bed, so what are you waiting for?” you challenge him, pouting. 
“We have all night. I want to take my time with you.” As he says it, his fingers slip past the fabric of your underwear, gathering the slick to rub wet circles on your clit. You let out a stifled moan as you grind on him, yearning for more. “But how can I deny you when you’re like this? So desperate and needy for my cock. Makes me so fucking hard.” He pulls out from under your dress to lead you by the wrist into your bedroom.
You lie on the bed, dress pulled up to your stomach, sliding your panties off. Spreading your legs wide, you start playing with your clit as he watches from the end of the bed. “Do you touch yourself like this when I’m not around?” He unbuckles his belt slowly, enjoying the show you’re putting on for him. As he slides out of his pants, one leg at a time, you nod and slip a finger inside your slit. Your cheeks rush with heat, embarrassed at the lewd squelch it makes. 
“Put another one in.” He kneels in front of you now, wearing only his briefs and dress shirt, slightly unbuttoned from the top. 
Obeying his command, you insert your ring finger along with your middle. It’s nowhere near how he does it, but him watching you like this turns you on beyond belief. The hunger in his eyes, the way he bites his lower lip, the way he clutches the tie around his palm. “Play with your clit again. Show me how you like it.” He rubs the bulge in his briefs, focused on your glistening cunt. With wet fingers, you massage your clit, drawing out quiet moans from your mouth. 
“Fuck, you’re incredible. You drive me crazy, you know that?” He shoves his underwear down to reveal his hard cock. No matter how many times you’ve seen him like this, the sight still amazes you. And seeing him erect with his dress shirt on is a kink you didn’t know you had until right now. He unravels the tie from his grip. A small whimper leaves your lips, anticipating his next move.
“Can I bind your wrists? Are you okay with that?” He crawls up the bed to kneel beside you, cupping your cheek tenderly as he asks for permission. 
You kiss his palm, smiling. “Yes. Let me take my clothes off first.” Your skin prickles with excitement as you pull the dress off and unhook your bra. He places your hands above you wrapping his spotted tie around your wrists, one over the other.
His lips curl into a wicked grin, his gaze ravenous as he looks you up and down. “I can’t believe you’re all mine.” He positions himself between your legs, leaning his face towards your arousal.  “Can I taste you?” 
Holy fuck. This is something you’ve fantasized about many times. You were uncomfortable asking him to do it, unsure if he was into it or not. Your ex never really offered; he tried it once, but it was barely memorable. So, you thought maybe it was too intimate of an action to ask your boyfriend of two months to do to you.
But it’s different now. You love each other. There’s no holding back.
In a trembling voice, you respond, “Yes. Please.”
He spreads you open and without hesitation, he starts with soft kisses to your puffy clit. You moan, stomach tight with pleasure as you rut against his face, his kisses getting sloppier and deeper with each passing second. He pushes himself even closer, latching around your sensitive bud, stimulating it with his plush tongue. It’s fucking amazing. You let yourself enjoy it until the rush of ecstasy sweeps through you, pulsing into his hot, slippery mouth. “Kento, I’m coming,” you gasp.
He hums into your skin as he sucks on your clit, unrelenting until you’re slack on the sheets, spent from your orgasm. His tongue licks along your plump folds, lapping up the slick from your high, drinking you up like he’s dehydrated. “You taste so fucking good,” he murmurs, as he fucks you with his mouth. You twitch at his touch, sensitive and yet, still so unbelievably horny for the man that you love.
“Fuck me, Kento. Please. Need you inside me,” you beg.
After one more flick of his tongue, he sits up on his knees. You see a pearl of precum leaking from the tip of his dick. He lets out a huff as he guides his cock to your slit, rubbing up and down your arousal. “You’re such good girl, fuck. I’m so lucky.” He continues to tease you, circling his cockhead around your clit as you squirm beneath him, bound wrists wriggling above your head. “I don’t have any lube, but we don’t need it. You came so much from just my tongue. This pretty pussy is so wet for me.” He strokes his dick as he stares wildly at your dripping cunt. 
You’re already close to your second orgasm when he slides his cock inside you, your walls surrounding his girth. Once his entire length is in, he places one hand on your inner thigh, the other at your side, clutching onto the bedsheets. You can tell you’re in for a ride. 
He starts slowly, pressing down on you gently to keep you open for him. Once you’re comfortably adjusted to his size, he speeds up. His lips tickle your ear as he whispers, “I’ve wanted this for so long. Been wanting to ruin this bed ever since I first slept in it.” 
You try to move your hips to match his rhythm, wrists still pinned above your head. All you can manage to choke out between your moans is, “Me too.” You wrap your free leg around his waist, wanting as much of your skin to be touching his. Being bound, you thought you’d be vulnerable, exposed. But with Nanami, you feel safe. You like being this open for him. He’d never do anything to hurt you. That’s one of the many reasons you love him.  
Overwhelmed with emotion and pleasure, tears well up in your eyes as he continues to make love to you. You face him, kissing him softly on the lips. He keeps still inside you, turning your body with his as he relaxes on the bed. The hand that was holding down your thigh comes up to caress your cheek as you continue to kiss. You stay like this for a while, basking in each other’s warmth. At some point, he reaches up to untie you from your bondage. At your release, you glide down his chest, cherishing his steady heartbeat.
“I love you,” he whispers between kisses. “I love you so much.”
Your voice catches in your throat. “I love you, too.”
He brushes your tears away, nuzzling his nose to yours. “Do you want to stop?”
You smile. “Not at all. These are happy tears. I’m happy.” He pulls you in closer, kissing you passionately, his cock still stiff inside you. Running your fingers through his hair, you say, “I told you earlier that I’ll let you do whatever you want with me. What do you want? Tell me, baby.” 
He thinks for a few seconds, gazing at you, full of love and lust. 
“I want you to ride me.”
~~~
Nanami lies down on the bed, watching the love of his life mount him, knees to both sides of him. They’ve never tried this before. While the sex has been nothing short of amazing these past two months, they’ve been hesitant to try new position, afraid of crossing any lines too soon. But there’s no denying that he’s been wanting this. And tonight is different. They love each other. They don’t have to hold back anymore. 
She leans down, breast in front of his face, so tempting and marvelous. He reaches for her tits, kneading at them, fondling her nipples with his thumbs. “Put them in my mouth,” he demands. She lets out a small whine as he raises his neck up to take her into his mouth, latching onto her nipple, sucking gently. 
“God, I love these tits,” he growls as he moves to the other one. He squeezes her breasts as he engulfs her sensitive teats. “All mine.”
“Fuck. Feels so good when you suck them like this.” When he starts sucking harder, she slowly pulls out, his lips making a popping sound at the release. She grinds her pussy on his lap, moaning. “I like it like this.” 
“Fuck,” he mutters, sticking out his tongue to receive her once more. “Feed it to me. Show me again how you like it.” He takes her again, his hands now on her waist, as she holds her breast for him. He sucks hard as she pulls out with another loud pop, nipple taut and plump when he releases her, shiny with his spit. His dick twitches beneath her; the need to be inside her is undeniable, unbearable if he waits any longer. 
“Ride me,” he spits out, planting his feet on the bed.
She pushes her ass back, feeling for his cock, rubbing her folds over the tip until it’s at her entrance, sinking onto him easily. Once he bottoms out, she starts thrusting back and forth. She leans over him, gripping the sheets on either side of his head, tits bouncing with every shake of her ass. He grabs her hips, reveling how expertly she rides him. “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re so beautiful. You’re incredible like this, fucking yourself on my cock.”
“Kento. So good, oh my god,” she cries out, picking up the pace. 
He tightens his hold on her hips and starts moving with her, timing his thrusts with hers. She buries her face into his neck, whimpering as she takes it. “Can you come one more time for me, baby?” he purrs. “Let me do it. Let daddy take care of you.” 
As if those are the magic words, she lets out a luscious moan, trembling around him. “Fuck, daddy. Fuck me. Make me come.”
He squeezes her ass as he dives into her, deeper than he’s ever been before, her incoherent babbling a sign that he’s hitting her sweet spot. His body buzzes with delight and pleasure, knowing he’s making her unravel on his cock. He continues to pump into her relentlessly, his muscles spasming with each deep thrust he gives her. She continues to bounce her ass on his cock in perfect sync with him until she tightens around him. She’s close, and so is he. He slips his hand between them, thumb grazing her swollen clit. 
“Kento, I’m coming!” she whines into his neck. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.”
He’s dizzy with ecstasy as she clenches around him, fucking her until he comes too, filling her up with his load, the excess leaking out of her fluttering hole and onto his lap. He only just remembers that he’s still in his dress shirt; he never bothered taking it off. Looking between them to inspect the damage, he finds a few spots where their cum bleeds into the hem of his shirt. 
She relaxes on top of him, breath shallow against his chest. He massages her back, cradling her in his arms. They stay like this for a moment, both exhausted from their intense love making. She rolls off him to lay at his side, eyes closed, smiling. “I love you, Kento.”
He leans in to kiss her forehead. “I love you, too.”
He’ll never get tired of hearing it. He’ll never get tired of saying it.
They love each other. All is right with the world.  
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Tag List: @chiyoso @bloombb @liliorsstuff-blog
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lesbiandarielle · 4 months
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I've just finished "Adventure Time Fionna and Cake" and I'm impressed by how much for the best this show is the anti-"Rick and Morty".
In Rick & Morty, the immediate conclusion of the existence of a multiverse is nihilistic and individualistic, that nothing makes sense, and everything is replaceable, yourself especially included. Nothing is beautiful, because nothing is unique. Consequently, the characters are all depressed, self-hating, alcoholic, or generally miserable.
On the contrary, in Fionna and Cake, the multiverse is pictured as infinite beauty and discovering opportunities. Every universe, even cheap fan-made ones, is worthy of being cherished, loved and appreciated. The characters want to fight for their universe, because they love it and despite the comparison to the others. Even when they're insane the characters can be happy, they can heal from their depression, etc.
Coincidentally, this leads Adventure Time to tackle the notion of "multiverse" much better than Rick and Morty by really exploring the possibilities it offers. In Rick and Morty different universes are mostly "same universe but everyone has a mustache" or "same universe but Morty is inherently evil" (which has consequences for the plot, but not his own universe) or "same universe but in this one Rick OOC failed an experiment and died there". Universes from Adventure Time are treated with imagination, intelligence and beauty, and even "sad" universes like the post-apocalypse one. "She didn't have a me" is a so powerful line, and the way Bubbline is pictured in this universe is so poetic, for me it crystallizes all the difference between the two shows.
With this in mind it's funny to me that it's Rick and Morty that is considered as an "adult show" compared to Adventure Time. Regarding my (complicated) life path it's a lot more "adult" to know how to appreciate beauty and to feel good and find a purpose in your universe than being nihilistic, self-hating and depressed, and consequently edgy and trashy to hide this. This isn't "adult", it's precisely what I was doing as a teen who couldn't manage my problems and emotions, and precisely what I'm learning to avoid as an functionning adult.
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Only villains are allowed to be complex in Netflix's Avatar: The Last Airbender
I had a major issue with the treatment of the original gaang in natla and I think it has to do with character flaws. As in, they don't have any.
In the case of Aang, other characters keep telling him that he can't ignore his responsibilities but when do we ever see him actually do this? When does he seek out distractions to avoid his duties, like penguin sledding, or riding elephant koi, or hiding in a cave? Hell, the reason he gets trapped in the iceberg is changed. In natla he was only going out on a short flight with Appa and gets caught in a storm. In the original he ran away, and it's understandable because he felt alone and out of control of his life. But it is still a choice he makes, to run away from his responsibilities, and he has to deal with the consequences.
In natla there is no choice to run away, it's fully an accident and it takes away his agency as a character. So when Bumi starts blaming him for the war it really rings hollow because it was all an accident. It has more weight when a random fisherman blames him in atla because at least in that version he did make a choice to runaway. Obviously he had no way of knowing what would happen and he never intended to abandon the world to genocide and war. But that's the thing about life, you never know the full consequences of your decisions, and you just have to deal with them when they happen. The war is not Aang's fault, but he did make a bad decision, and it had far reaching consequences. It made Aang's character more relatable and gave him a starting place from which he could grow as a character. He had to learn how to accept responsibility for his actions without blaming himself for the actions of other (i.e. Sozin starting the war).
I feel like in the case of Katara, they stripped her passion and anger. They explored Katara's PTSD but they take away how angry it made her. Anger is a totally normal response to trauma. While letting yourself be consumed by anger is obviously bad, anger can also be channeled into passion and energy to enact positive change. This was a big part of Katara's character in atla, learning how to control her righteous indignation and use it to fight for the rights of other. She has none of that anger here, so there is no character growth and no emotional connection to the character through that arc.
This especially falls flat in her 'feminist arc.' She fights with Pakku but there is no anger, no fire in her. In atla at the end of the fight, even though she was pinned down and had clearly lost, she was still going. She was almost feral. Even though she was worn out, her passion of fighting for what is right still fueled her. She would not give up. So I guess it's fitting natla's unpassionate Katara just falls down at the end of the fight. And they cut out the whole importance of the necklace, which serves as Pakku's realization on how his sexism has negatively impacted his own life. It's this realization that motivates him to reevaluate his beliefs and agree to train Katara. Which needs to happen because having a master's tutelage is what allows her to become a master herself. Alta makes it clear that she excels because of her hard work and determination along with guidance from a mentor. There's none of this in natla. They just start calling Katara a master because 'girlpower' I guess? They certainly don't show how she became so talented. But natla Katara doesn't need help from other people to grow. She's already a master. She's already perfect.
Sokka is also stripped of his flaws as well. Obviously we know he is not sexist in natla. I don't think this is inherently a bad change, but you have to understand how the sexism impacted his character in atla and adjust accordingly. In atla, Sokka's sexism is really the origin of his all his insecurities. He believes there are roles for men and roles for women. Protecting the tribe is a man's job. So when the men go off to fight in the war, he believes he must carry the burden of protecting the tribe as the oldest male. He sets himself up for failure because he places impossible standards on himself. He cannot protect and lead the tribe all by himself, especially not when he is a young child. This leads to him feeling inadequate because he cannot measure up to his own impossible standards or his idealized version of his father (who was an adult and had the support of his tribesmen).
I could still see a way to still adapt atla without the sexism. (For example Hakoda tells Sokka to look after his younger sister. He takes that to an extreme of being overprotective of the whole tribe. And we are back at him failing to met his own impossible expectations again). But natla doesn't do this. Instead it just throws in a flashback of Hakoda saying that Sokka isn't fit to be a warrior. This kind of defeats the purpose of Sokka's own internal conflict about not measuring up to his own unrealistic expectations. Now it's his father's expectation's he doesn't measure up to. This is not a bad story beat in and of itself. It works well with Zuko. But it's not Sokka's character conflict. In alta Sokka's insecurities, internal expectations, and sexism also cause him to lash out at others sometimes. He's not allowed to act so negatively in atla. So again there is no place for him to grow as a character, as he does not have these flaws.
Honestly it seems like they tired to removal all negative character traits from the main characters, which makes them feel more stiff and allows them no room for growth. I really wanted to like this adaptation. And I do think there are some changes they do really well. But those changes are related to the villains and they just drop the ball so hard with our main characters.
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erodasfishtacos · 2 years
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Loving You is Easy (Demi)
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prompt: my baby 🥺 mlb!harry’s exploration of his sexuality and coming out.
word count: 14.3k 🥲
warnings: topics of sexuality, identify issues, bullying, toxic masculinity, smut - 18+ minors dni
Take The Hint takes place in the middle of this fic & so you might want to reread first or when Harry starts to mention YN.
This fic is my baby. I’m so so proud of it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.
Please please like, follow, comment, and reblog ❣️
And I really would love to hear your thoughts so please send me a message about the fic ❣️
-
Assumptions.
That’s what Harry’s life has been based upon since he was in little league because of his perceived dominance and masculinity.
It happened nearly every game, he’d always draw attention because of his skill. 
Even at such a young age - as soon as he could bat without the tee to hold the ball, people knew that he was something special.
Women would pinch his cheek and tell his mother to watch out because he was going to be a heartbreaker with the ladies - men would chuckle and joke that they were going to have to hide their daughters from him.
It doesn’t get any better as he grows up, it actually gets worse. 
The more notoriety he garners, more attention and not just based on his athletic abilities, his looks landed him almost just as much.
He was good-looking and had above average athleticism, he was irresistible for people to leave alone.
He can’t count the number of times that men have asked him how many girls he had fucked that week because he just had to be getting it all the time.
In all this time of feeling wanted, Harry had never felt more alone. 
He felt like there was something wrong with him. 
There had to be - because he wasn’t living up to any expectations that society has set for him and had made abundantly clear since he was young.
He was meant to have a girl on his arm, who had to be the societal standard of beautiful who would follow him like a puppy.
Since he was a young teenager, always playing on baseball teams much higher than his age level - coaches and scouts knew that he was destined for the major leagues and it was just a matter of time before they snatched him up.
Girls in high school would swoon over his chiseled jaw, the way his biceps flexed, and the baseball bleachers were riddled with gaggles of giggly girls watching him practice on the pitch.
He didn’t have a break, there wasn’t a day of practice that didn’t go by where girls weren’t coming to watch him as he played.
It was supposed to be flattering but to Harry, it was just frustrating to constantly have all these girls gawking after him when he wasn’t interested.
Harry knew that he should be enjoying all the attention from the female gaze, at least, that’s what he thinks because of how often people are making assumptions about his private life.
But that’s all these things were…
Assumptions.
Harry didn’t care about girls or dating in middle school, never really gave it another thought when he never developed any crushes on the pretty peers who were very much interested in him.
It wasn’t until high school that he realized that there was something wrong with him or so he thought that he wasn’t normal like the other kids.
Harry began to realize that he didn’t have the same interests and urges as his friends who were constantly drooling over girls in short skirts or commenting on their appearances.
He could look at a girl and think she’s pretty but he didn’t have some deep primal urge to ask her over his house so he could get his rocks off like his friends did.
It only became an issue when his so-called friends started teasing him about his lack of social life with the ladies.
They would ask him if he was gay or asexual, asked him if he was still a virgin with all the date offers he gets.
He didn’t know what he was - he didn’t know if he was gay or asexual, he wanted to have sex but he didn’t just want it to be random.
Harry now realizes it wasn’t harmless teasing, not with how much emotional damage it had on his psyche to constantly be questioned about his sexuality.
He hadn’t known what he was.
It had been a late night practice and everyone was talking about the upcoming prom dance.
“Who are you taking, Styles?” Cody, one of his teammates asks as he packs up his bag with his equipment.
“Er, not sure,” Harry shrugs, attempting to come off nonchalant and unbothered by the question - despite how cocky he appeared, he was the furthest thing from confident internally about the topic.
“Come on! I know Lana and Jessie already asked you and they’re the hottest girls in the school! Lana’s tits are massive,” Seth chimes in, offended that Harry would have the nerve to turn down the girls of his teenage dreams.
Harry feels his face get hot because he knows what this is going to turn into very quickly - as it always did.
“Is it because you’re taking your boyfriend? Or yourself? Your hand can’t be your only date forever!” Cody crows, Harry’s hackle standing up at the jab and he feels himself getting hot.
“Mind your own fucking business,” Harry huffs out instead, swinging his pack over his shoulder and turning on his heel to leave.
“You know for how good you are at baseball, nobody would know you’re a virgin. Great in the field, a dud in the sheets,” Conner can’t help but add in, all the boys were chuckling as they changed.
Harry is still trying to be the bigger person by continuing to walk away but when Seth snickers, “Y’know what I think? He’s so good at baseball because he’s making up for his small dick.’
Everyone has a breaking point.
They had managed to get Harry to hit his, which was an accomplishment but the subject of his sexuality had become more and more tender over the past few months as he really started to understand his dilemma. 
Harry drops his bag at his feet, storming towards Seth with his fist coming up, raised and about to swing when their coach appears to stop anything from happening.
Seth is frowning with his hands up in surrender, eyes wide as he realizes Harry was actually mad, “I was just joking around with you. Take a fucking joke.”
“The only joke in this locker room is your baseball abilities,” Harry snarls back, it was quite the insult coming from their captain and Seth's face drops even more than before.
“Styles, hit the road,” Coach Greggs orders, pointing towards the exit of the lock room with a serious expression - disappointment in his star player’s behavior.
-
When Harry gets home, he bypasses his mum and sister without even a hello before he’s running upstairs to his room and slamming the door shut.
He hates feeling like this.
Like he didn’t even know who he was.
How difficult could it be to figure out what or who you’re attracted to?
He was trying to convince himself he wasn’t broken, he knew all his body parts worked, it wasn’t anything but pure mental blockage.
Thinking about having someone lay next to him in his bed, they’re kissing, taking off clothes - Harry likes the idea of that.
However, it’s not just anyone, it’s not a random hookup.
He imagines it being someone he’s in love with, he’s so fucking fond of, and they know each other so intimately - its just them in their little world, no one else had this experience but them together.
But that doesn’t make any sense.
That’s not a thing.
Harry always felt normal beside this but this was major. 
This was detrimental that he figured out what his issue was or he would never have a partner, get married, have kids.
Sure, he'd probably be a successful baseball player but may be the oldest virgin on this earth if he didn't shake this feeling.
Harry decides that same night that he's going to go against his instincts and just ask a girl to the dance - maybe once he put himself out there it will change.
And as Harry was thinking about it, he wouldn't necessarily be against asking a boy either but he's not sure he's ready to explore that idea right now.
He didn't feel excited at the aspect of having a date but instead just a sad relief that his teammates won't bother him anymore.
It felt lonely and isolating.
-
Harry brings flowers the next day, he knows which girl he wants to ask, Yazmin - he knew she had a crush on him and she was nice, not overly concerned with what others thought of her.
The other reason he is choosing her is because she is one of the many who had made it extremely obvious that she would instantly say yes to him if he asked and he was really not trying to get rejected either.
He feels bad he's not very enthusiastic when she accepts and draws him into a massive hug with her face buried in his neck.
To avoid coming off as rude, he hugs her back until it becomes too much for him and he's pulling back with a forced smile.
The lunchroom is filled with envious glares from other girls who had either been dropping hints to Harry that they wanted to go with him or they'd be too nervous to be forward and are boiling with envy.
Yazmin begins to talk about colors, her dress, everything that people should be looking forward to for the event.
Harry...well, he was just hoping that after he asked her and she accepted that he would feel something, anything towards her whether it was a bit of fondness or admiration.
There wasn’t a question that she was pretty, her long thick black curls that fell down her back, her warm brown eyes, and wide smile.
But there was nothing, absolutely nothing that was attracting him to her at this moment as she babbled on about cool versus warm tones.
-
After baseball practice, he wanders in to his mum and sister sitting at the dinner table - just beginning their meal as they chat.
When he drops his backpack and duffle bag near the entryway and joins them - he's tired from all the drills and doesn't say anything more than 'hi' as he begins digging in.
"Mrs. Fields told me today that you asked Yazmin to the dance," Anne smiles with bright eyes, she was proud that he was putting himself out there - she worried about him.
Harry feels his stomach churn, he's short when he replies, not looking up from his plate, "Yeah."
"I'm so happy for you, this is going to be so exciting," Anne says before taking a sip of her tea and patting his hand.
"She's pretty too," Gemma adds to the conversation, "I think you guys are going to make a cute couple."
"I'm not dating her," Harry says sharply, using a bit more force to stab at his vegetables, "It's just an invite to a stupid dance. That's it."
"I know, dear. It's just that we haven’t seen you interested in any girls at your school and I want you to enjoy your high school experience-"
"Can I not enjoy high school without a girlfriend? Is me not being not a star athlete enough?" Harry is getting loud which isn't like him to every raise his voice at his mother, "Why does everyone fucking care? I just want to be left the fuck alone about it!"
With that, Harry is slamming down his silverware, snatching his backpack off the floor, and storming up to his room with the door shutting and the lock being flicked.
-
Harry doesn't come out of his room that night and refuses to speak more than a few words to them through the door.
The next morning when Harry comes down for school, dressed and ready to go, Anne tries to  smooth over the situation.
She didn't know what was going on with her son and that was a new uncomfortable feeling for her - usually he was open about everything with her.
Anne didn't know what she said that had triggered the response he'd given and despite how much she wanted to talk to him about it, she knew that she shouldn't force him.
"Harry," Anne speaks up when he steps into the kitchen to make his morning protein drink, " I want to talk about last night."
"There's nothing to talk about, s'fine," He brushes off stiffly as he reaches for one of his shaker bottles and container of protein mix.
"There is. I clearly upset you last night," Anne's voice is soft and cautious, "I'm sorry. I love no matter if you want to date or not, I'm proud and excited for you no ma-"
"There's nothing wrong with me!" Harry bites back as he tries to scoop out the powder, hands shaking with some strong emotion, and it spills onto the countertop.
"I didn't say there was," Anne furrows her brow, she felt like they were on two difficult wavelengths and not really speaking the same language - having two different conversations.
"Shouldn't everyone care that I'm lined up to go pro or that with all this training, I still get straight A's," Harry scoffs as he pours the water and shakes it harshly, "Why is everyone so focused on who I'm going to sleep with?"
And with that, he's grabbing his stuff and leaving the house - Anne stunned as she sits at the breakfast nook unsure of how an innocent conversation at dinner has led to an ongoing tense back and forth with her son.
-
Yazmin is all over him and Harry is quickly realizing that him inviting her to the dance was also interpreted as him asking her to be his girlfriend.
But when she sat down next to him at lunch, her hand moving to intertwine with his - he didn't push her off but instead could only think about the whole lunch period about how he didn't want to be holding hands with her.
However, he noticed that all of his friends had their girlfriends cuddled up on them too and seemed to enjoy it when their girl curled into them or kissed their cheeks.
He played along.
-
In the locker room, after practice, well Harry wishes he could skip changing and go home because he was starting to not enjoy this time around his teammates.
"Yazmin, man," Hunter laughs as he sits on the bench to kick off his cleats, "It's no surprise you wait until the last minute to ask a girl out and you pick the hottest girl at school."
Harry shrugs as he shoves his jersey into his duffle, shoulders already tensing because of the conversation topic, "Yeah, she's nice.”
"Nice? You mean has nice tits," Luke adds and the other boys howl loudly as they mock breasts with their hands coming up their chests, "She's got huge ones. Let me know how they look when you get her topless."
Harry shakes his head, face turned away towards his locker- even though his teammates are being pigs, he wishes he could relate in a way.
He hadn't even looked at her chest or maybe he had but it didn't elicit any type of sexual response that made him want to get her naked.
It seemed like every other guy in the room had the identical response except him - normal teenage boys cared about boobs, really no matter who they belonged to.
"Yeah, I saw Casey's pair last night," Josh adds with a cocky smirk, "Let me touch 'em and everything."
Luckily, that conversation distracts the boys enough to lay off of Harry - now to focused on Josh's experience with his girlfriend.
They don't even notice when he slips out the door to head home as they all joke around and share stories.
Life was just..
Harry was miserable.
He dreaded going to school because of all the eyes on him, the fact that Yazmin wanted to be with him every free second, or his friends who were always talking about something girl or sex-related.
At practice, he got hounded by his teammates about the same things everyday and had to hear tales that he didn't assimilate to in the slightest.
At home, he was now in this weird limbo where he knows his mom and sister feel like they're walking on eggshells because of his moodiness that he refuses to talk about.
The ideas of relationship and sex were closing in on him from every angle and he just didn't want to talk about it.
He wished that when he was born someone just smacked a label on his forehead that said 'gay', 'straight', 'asexual', something so that he didn't have to figure this out himself.
Why was it so fucking difficult?
He felt broken, like his brain wasn't functioning correctly because he couldn't even decipher his own thoughts or feelings.
He'd always felt like this in a way but now that he is at the age where people begin to get into relationships and have sex - it's in the forefront of his mind.
He just has to get through the dance with Yazmin, that's it - he at least has to try to see this through with dating her.
-
Harry knows he's been pulling away from his family too but he doesn't feel like he's able to help it - he can’t explain what’s going on and he doesn’t want to be shunned by them too.
Because he feels like if he talked to them he'll blurt out, "I might not be straight" or "I don't know what's going on with me."
He used to think that he thought about it a lot but ever since he asked Yazmin to the dance - the only time he doesn't think about it is when he's on the field  or working out.
Baseball is his only escape.
When all the boys are going out after the game, the weekend before the dance, they were all inviting their girlfriends to join them.
He didn't want to be an asshole so he knew it was only right to invite Yazmin too - he didn't want her to feel left out.
When they're all in the pizza shop, it's nearly ten at night, and they're all still sipping on Coke and eating pizza after winning the game.
Yazmin is sat next to him in the long booth, their thighs smooshed together, and she wraps her arm around his - resting her head on his shoulder.
It's a nice gesture and Harry feels guilty that he wants to push her away so he lets it happen and tries not to think too much about it.
The conversation turns into the afterparty for prom, they were renting a cabin in a nearby state park, and were planning to drink and have a campfire.
Harry had agreed to go but he really hadn't thought of the implications until Harry is driving Yazmin home that night and she seems nervous in the passenger seat.
"Is everything okay?" Harry asks as he navigates out of the pizza's shop's parking lot and towards her house.
"Yeah. It-It's just, are you excited about the dance? You weren't very talkative in there," She points out, she seems a bit disappointed but hides it behind a small smile.
Harry sighs, he doesn't know how to address it, so he lies, "I am excited, really. It's just been crazy with baseball. I'm sorry it didn't seem like I was in there. Just tired, I guess."
Yazmin perks up immediately, "It's okay, I just wanted to check. I'm used to you being really outspoken and talkative so I was just making sure."
Harry moves his hand over to her, resting it on the lower part of her thigh, near her knee, and squeezes, "It's gonna be fun."
"I can't wait for you to see me in my dress," She replies, her smile widened with his touch as she moves to put her hand over his.
"I'm sure you'll be gorgeous," He fake smiles, keeping his eyes on the road, they're nearly to her house and he presses the gas pedal a little harder.
As they pull up, Yazmin takes a deep breath before asking, "Are you going to bring protection to the cabin?"
Harry gives her a puzzled look, confused for a second by what she means by protection and she grimaces when she realizes he's confused.
"Condoms? I'm on birth control but I want to make sure we're being safe," She adds sheepishly, looking down at her hands.
How was she already talking about sex when they haven't even went further than kissing? 
He didn't think he'd be expected to get intimate with someone this fast in a relationship.
"Oh, er," Harry stammers, just as embarrassed as her, his throat felt tight," Yeah, I'll definitely bring some. If that's what you uh, if that's what you want to do."
For objectively being the most popular boy in school, it was really quite ironic how backwards he was compared to the other people in his grade.
He was eighteen, everyone already assumes that he lost his virginity by this point, and it shows - he wonders if she can tell.
"I'd like to," Yazmin responds before leaning over to kiss him, she parts her lips and Harry matches her but it doesn't feel as nice as he thinks it's supposed to.
They kiss for a while in the car that night until his lips are puffy and swollen but Harry doesn't even remotely feel a twinge of any arousal.
As he drives home that night, he punches his steering wheel a few times- letting out frustrated screams into the car because he just wants to be like everyone else.
-
The actual event of prom goes fine.
It's easy smiling for pictures, eating at a fancy restaurant, and then going to the hotel where they all dance around to the music without anything being too serious.
The issue comes when they get to the cabin and everyone is starting to disappear from the campfire up to their own bedrooms with their significant others.
Harry waits as long as possible, until the flames legitimately start to fizzle out - he hadn't even touched any alcohol, neither had Yazmin.
She was getting impatient as she begins to wrap their hands together and kiss at his neck before finally asking, "Ready to go to our room?"
Harry agrees because he can't stay out here forever, he had bought condoms even though he was pretty sure they wouldn't be using them.
He bought them in the hopes that maybe, magically that once his body knew he had the oppurtunity to have sex that he would be interested enough to do so.
When they're up in the bedroom, Yazmin is on him, her lips finding his and kissing like they were that night in the car.
He can tell that she's nervous too but she seems much more excited and eager as she tugs off his shirt and runs her hands over his stomach before going for his athletic shorts.
She kneels down and Harry has to squeeze his eyes shut because when she pulls down his shorts - he's not at all hard.
It doesn't seem to deter her, she leans down to begin to stimulate him, and nothing happens as she does it - it’s not those amazing fireworks that his friends talk about.
He knows there’s a silent tear slipping from his eye when she finally pulls back when she realizes something isn't right.
"I'm sorry," Harry says with the most embarrassment he's ever felt in his life, "I'm- I'm sorry, Yazmin."
Yazmin pulls his shorts back up for him before standing in front of him, she puts her hand to his jaw and says quietly, "Look at me."
Harry blinks his eyes open, trying to hold in his tears as she looks at him with a concerned expression.
"Did I make you uncomfortable? I didn't mean to force you to do -" She begins to apologize profusely, getting upset herself.
It snaps him out of his own mind and his voice is firm when he interrupts her, "Hey, no. No, you didn't do anything wrong, I promise. It's me, you're-you're wonderful and pretty. It-s me."
Yazmin’s face washes with relief as he speaks, she reaches to take his hands but it's more of a friendly gesture.
"Are you..." She trails off, not wanting to make any assumptions about him.
"I don't know," He says honestly, choking up a bit on the words, "I'm really trying to figure it out and I just feel broken. This proves I am."
"You're not broken, Harry," Yazmin smiles as she shakes her head like he’s silly, "You're just figuring it out and that's okay."
"I know you don't owe me anything after all this but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone," Harry mumbles as he laughs a big self-deprecating.
"My lips are sealed. If anyone asks, we had amazing hot sex," She giggles as she walks over to her bag to pull out pajamas, "Want to watch a movie?"
And his prom night actually wasn't as awful as it started out, Yazmin and him laid in the massive king bed and watched a few older horror movies and made fun of the bad acting.
At some point they drift off to sleep, when they wake up, they're not necessarily cuddled together but Yazmin's arm is slung over his stomach.
He thinks to himself, this isn't too bad, and just that little thought alone makes him feel like he may not be as lost of a cause as he sometimes feels.
-
Yazmin and him stayed friends after they 'broke up' and she never spoke a word about what happened that night and to her, he'll always be eternally grateful that kind, understanding people exist.
The summer before college, he realized that he needed to actually take the time to explore his sexuality through research instead of continuing a pity party for himself.
He could narrow down that he wasn't entirely straight because the idea of him being in love with someone other than a female didn't sound obscure or unappealing to him.
He didn’t think it mattered who he fell in love with, it wouldn’t be purely based on their gender.
The idea of sex didn't repusle him, he wanted to have sex and he knew that he wasn't asexual.
He wanted to have a partner and have sex.
That's when it stuck with him.
Everytime he thought about having sex with someone, it was a partner, someone he was in a strong romantic relationship with - but he didn't think that was a specific sexuality.
One day, he's watching some reality television show, and when they're introducing the contestants - someone on the screen identifies themselves as demisexual.
He'd never heard that term before and he curiously puts it into the search engine on his phone to figure out the definition.
That's when he reads the definition that changes it all.
"Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in whcih a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after they've developed a close emotion with them."
Harry felt like he was having an epiphany and that the world fell still for a moment - it was like finding the puzzle piece he had been missing for years of his life.
It finally fucking made sense.
It made so much sense that he started crying, full on sobbing as he held his head with disbelief that something clicked.
Anne, who was in the kitchen, making dinner, hears the sniffles and rushes in, concerned when she finds her son crying which was completely out of the norm.
"Harry, honey," Anne coos softly, sitting down next to him and brushing his hair off his forehead before wrapping her arm around his shoulders, "What's gotten you so upset?"
"M'not upset, mom," Harry chuckles as she tries to wipe away some of his tears with the sleeve of her shirt, "I just-, I don't know how you'll react when I tell you."
"Is it bad?" Anne asks worriedl,  tugging him in closer like he was still a little boy and not a big, tall athlete that was way larger than her.
"I-I'm, it's about me," Harry stutters, his thoughts now racing for a different reason, this wasn't on how he planned to tell his mother any of this but he didn't want to lie to her either.
He wanted to be himself and he wanted his family to know who he is.
"I've been struggling with, erm, who I am for a really really long time," Harry begins, his eyes glued to his feet, "And I..I finally figured it out."
"I'll love you no matter what you're going to tell me, Harry Edward,” Anne says firmly, tilting his chin so that their eyes meet and he can tell how serious she is.
"I'm pansexul and demisexual," Harry breathes out, saying it into the unvierse for the first time, it felt like a massive weight has been lifted off of his chest, "It means that I am attracted to people regardless of their gender and that I'm only sexually attracted to that  person after we established a emotional bond.”
"How long have you known?" Anne asks as she holds him closer.
"I-I've known that I wasn't st-straight for a long time but I-I didn't know what exactly I was until now," Harry stutters out through tears, Anne can't remember the last time she saw her son cry and his face was damp with emotion.
"I am so proud of you," Anne murmurs but her voice was firm and serious, she moves to cup his cheeks until he's making eye contact with her, "So so proud of who you are."
"Y-You're proud of me?" Harry repeats back in a whisper, his heart felt like it was beating fast enough it was going to leap out of his chest.
"Of course I am," She laughs softly, like it was ridiculous that he could think that she wouldn't be filled with pride, "I love you so much. My little boy."
She kisses both of his cheeks before wiping the tears away once more.
Anne isn't expecting it when Harry hugs her tightly, his face tucked into her shoulder as he hides away for a moment.
She rubs his back lightly and just holds him as he sniffles, she hadn't cuddled him like this is so long but he clung to her for a long while as she whispered words of love.
-
Gemma is the second person that he decides that he needs to come out - he's not as worried about her reaction as his mum but it still wasn't going to be fun for him.
She had gotten home from work and disappeared into her room to most likely working on college homework like she did nearly everyday.
Harry knocks and when she calls for him to come in, he's sheepish as he comes to sit on her bed next to where she has her textbooks splayed out.
"I have something to tell you," Harry starts off after taking a deep inhale of breath, why was he so nervous? It was just Gemma.
But everyone reacts differently, people he think would be supportive of him may not agree with it and give him pushback or worse disown him.
He was nervous because he couldn't lose his sister but he also couldn't stand not living his truth any longer.
"If you took my laptop charger one more time and broke it, I swear to -" She begins with a frown as she closes her book to glare at him.
"No, it's...well," Harry begins to trip over what he wants to say and now maybe isn't the right time, maybe he should think it through more than this, "Forget about it."
Gemma realizes quickly that something isn't right, she reaches out to grab his arm and tug him back down, "What's going on? Is everything okay?"
"I have something that I want to tell you," He reiterates with a sigh, "I just don't know how you'll feel about it."
Harry explains what he had explained earlier to his mother to her, she listens intently and doesn't try to crack any jokes while he's speaking.
After he's done with what he feels like is rambling, he hesitantly looks up to meet her gaze.
"How did you think I would feel?" Is the first thing she asks.
Harry's brow furrows in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"You said you were worried about how I would feel about you telling me," Gemma explains from before he told her.
"Ju-Just that you'd be disappointed in me," Harry hates that he's been crying so much lately but he begins to sniffle.
"Oh, Harry," Gemma titters, swiping her school things off the bed so she can drag him into a hug, just like his mother did, "I would never be disappointed in you for being who you are. I love you. I'm happy that you finally feel like you've figured it out."
"I hope I find someone," Harry chuckles, wiping his face on his hoodie, "I hope I find someone who will understand, that I'll be able to fall in love with and have a normal relationship."
"It will happen," Gemma hums as she pulls back, "Just like with you figuring this out. It won't happen overnight. Now get out, I have to study."
-
It really doesn't happen overnight or anytime soon.
He will say that getting in to college and knowing his sexuality even if he hadn't been with anyone had let him slip back into the cocky role that he was used to.
Harry had no problem flirting with girls and guys at frat parties to keep up appearances - even though he wasn't interested in sleeping with them.
It kept his teammates from questioning him because when they saw him at parties, giving a girl his million dollar smile and telling her she's cute - they figured he was sleeping with them.
He didn't enjoy going to parties because it was only fun to fake flirt for a little bit before he wanted to leave because people were trying to get him alone in a bedroom.
Luckily, baseball and sponsorships took up a majority of him time so he wasn't expected at many frat celebrations with how rigorous his workouts and training schedule were.
Tonight though, he didn't have an excuse to not come because they had three days off that weekend.
Everyone convinced him to come, it wasn't a bad time really but he couldn't drink because he'd be kicked off the team  if he got hit with an underage drinking fine.
(They definitely wouldn't kick their star player off the team but he would be in deep shit and would much rather avoid that.)
Harry had been trying to get to know people on campus, trying to create the emotional attachment that he was searching for but it wasn't easy.
It felt fucking impossible.
He learned very quickly that he couldn 't just will it to magically happen and that he has issues building those bonds with anyone.
There was a girl named Halee who he had been talking to for the past few weeks, they met in one of his statistics classes and he tried to make an effort with her.
He took her out to dinner twice, listened to her talk for ages, and he waited to feel the spark after consistently seeing her for a month.
There was nothing there.
She was at the party tonight, they hadn't gone any further than making out because Harry didn't want to force himself to do that. 
Halee manages to get him alone in his frat bedroom later that night, stating that she needed to talk to him alone, and he knows it’s bad that he’s hoping she wants to break up.
But when his bedroom door shut, her lips were on his and she was pushing him back towards the bed - the exact opposite of what he wanted.
When he falls backwards onto his bed, she's crawling on top of him to straddle him, never taking her lips from his as her thighs come onto either side of him.
Harry's hands come to her hips, knowing he should try to enjoy it but also that it was no use despite how hard she grinded her hips into his.
After a few minutes, she pulls back and palms at him - completely expecting to find him hard and ready for her but...nothing.
He's not hard.
Halle gives him a confused look, she'd never had an issue with a college guy’s libido before, and she knew she was attractive.
Harry can feel his face turning red with shame but manages to give her a reasonable lie, "I think it's just because I've drank so much. I'm pretty wasted."
That seems to satisfy her concern because she giggles and drags him back to the party, promising that they can try again when they haven't been drinking so much.
However, he knows that's not going to happen because he fully plans on sending her an 'im sorry, its just not working out' text tomorrow morning.
Harry doesn't stay at the party much longer before he's retreating up to his room and locking the door to shut everyone out.
Sure, he's become more acepting of his own sexuality but it doesn't mean that it doesn't fucking suck that he can't just have a casual hook up.
The fact is the only sexual interactions he's had are where girls are coming onto him, he has to make an excuse or they'll see he's not physically into it which makes everything ten times worse.
Harry feels that sinking feeling coming back that he remembers well from his senior year of high school.
He remembers thinking that because he finally identified what sexuality he was that it was the code to cracking his life long struggle.
He wonders often whether he's truly waiting to meet the right person or if it's just something that is wrong with him.
The fake flirting, turning people down who come onto him, dating people he has no real interest in.
At some point it doesn't feel worth it to try to find his person , he wonders if there just isn't a person for him and that's a really lonely thought.
-
(Take The Hint) - One Shot
This girl makes him want to scream.
He didn't mean to break her fucking ipad and she has the nerve to run to the school newspaper and write an article about him.
He had apologized when it happened but she hadn't been willing to accept it, that wasn't his fault.
Harry had never had such a critique in a school paper before and he wasn't going to stand for it.
He doesn't know why he feels the need to go back and forth with this journalist from the paper but he can't stay away.
After their back and forths, he finds himself bringing her food a few times to the newspaper's office after he gets done with a long day of training.
Harry's intruigued that this girl doesn't seem to give a fuck about who he is and really hasn't given him the time of day.
But he finds himself looking forward to picking up a sandwich for her so that she can try to refuse it and give him a shy smile when he doesn't take no for an answer.
It sounds a bit dumb, Harry has spent so much of his time worried about finding the right person or building this emotional bond that he fucking misses it when it's right in front of him.
When YN walks out onto the field that day, leans over the fence and connects their lips for the first time - his insides feel like they're going to combust.
His stomach feels warm with excitement, he's eager to kiss her back, he wants to kiss her back and not stop for anything.
When she pulls away, he wants to pull her back, and join their lips again - he's never wanted to do that before.
Then when she asks, "Are you going to ask me out or what?"
Holy fucking hell.
He has never said yes sooner.
Harry was an idiot.
He didn't see that their back and forth over the past few months (even if a few of those were fights) was flirting and building this god damn connection.
It didn't seem like it at the time because in the past, he had to make conscious efforts to build relationships.
It happened naturally with her, he didn't have to think about 'wanting' to kiss her, forcing time together - he wanted to do all those things without having to plan it.
As he's walking back to the frat from practice that night, his mind is racing because he thinks he might have finally done it.
He found his person.
Harry didn't want to give his hopes up but he just hasn't felt like this before - he's had hundreds of opportunities with the smartest, most attractive people and he's never gotten that warm feeling in his stomach around any of them.
He was thinking about the next time he would get to kiss her and really kiss her - it made him feel something new but it was thrilling.
-
Harry has never felt more nervous in his life, he'd changed his outfit at least five times, and fluffed his hair a hundred more.
It was funny, outside looking in, despite how cocky Harry appeared to everyone - he really wasn't like that at all.
He hoped that YN would like him and he was worried because even though she forgave him, they really didn’t get off on the right foot.
There was another anxious thought bubbling up, what if he's getting too excited and it is another relationship that falls flat.
Harry nearly wants to back out because he doesn't think he can be let down like that again - he just wants to be loved and love someone.
They're set to meet at a small italian restaurant off of campus, Lorenzo's, and Harry arrives first.
Shet not there yet but he's also a few minutes early, he's trying to talk himself out of a nervous breakdown when a group approaches him, a group of middle-aged men who want to talk to the Harry Styles.
Harry smiles politely, answering questions about the upcoming games, and what he thought of their last win.
When they finally bid him goodbye after a few minutes, the group disperse and waiting patiently is YN with a small smile.
"You're really popular, huh? The Harry Styles," She greets, it was teasing but not in a mean way more curious than anything.
And Harry's mouth felt dry because she looked fucking beautiful like the prettiest thing he's ever seen.
In a form-fitting orange dress, her skin tone was complimenting the vibrant color and her curves were other worldly. ***
Harry knows, absolutely knows he wasn't just trying to make this work, he was undoubtedly attractive to her.
It was the fact that he wanted to see what lay beneath the dress, the way her breasts sat made it hard to control his gaze.
More importantly, her smile was wide and heartbreakingly gorgeous as she stared a bit confused, waiting for him to say something.
"You are gorgeous," Harry manages, it wasn't a line, it was the truth, "Sorry, you took my breath away for a moment if I'm being honest."
YN lets out a shy giggle, her hands smoothing the sides of her dress as a nervous tick, as she steps closer to him.
"You don't look too bad yourself, quite handsome actually," YN compliments, reaching out for Harry's hand so he can guide them inside.
The cocky attitude drops over dinner, well it never appeared in the first place, and YN was appreciative of that.
YN was intelligent, funny, kind, and quite honestly, everything Harry's ever wanted as she snorts out her drink at a dumb joke he makes.
She kicks off heels halfway through the appetizer and rests her foot on his thigh like they've known each other for ages.
He can't help but reach down and squeeze her ankle, fingers dancing along the ridge of the bone, and laughing when he tickles her enough to make her squeak.
For the first time, it doesn't feel forced, he doesn't have to remember that he should want to touch his date.
Harry is interested in everything she has to say from her experience on the newspaper to how she accidentally broke into a museum while she was in high school.
He finds himself laughing genuinely, not counting down the minutes until the date is over, in fact, he doesn't want it to end.
"You're actually a nice guy," YN murmurs towards the end of dinner when their plates are near empty, "Who would have guessed."
Harry winces at the dig, putting his silverware down and looking at her seriously, "I am sorry about how I treated you. I was being a douche. I don't always feel like I have a lot going for me and baseball is what I'm good at and to have that article written was a hit on my ego."
It was the most honest he's ever been with someone but he didn't even think twice about revealing his most vulnerable thoughts to her.
YN's face twist in confusion, "What do you mean you don't have a lot going for you? You have a guarantee in going pro, you have a ton of friends, and you have no shortages of girls around you."
Harry knew he wasn't ready to delve into his sexuality conversation with her, he hasn't ever talked to anyone outside of his family and Niall about it.
Instead of admitting what really makes him feel low - his sexuality and lack of relationships, he just shrugs and says, "I don't know. It's just..It's not alway easy."
"I imagine, it's a lot of pressure on you at all times. Everyone watching your every move," She agrees, her eyes are soft and she can tell Harry's thinking about something.
She doesn't force him to tell her, instead she reaches across the table for his hand and takes it in hers - but she doesn't let go.
Throughout dessert, they hold hands across the table until Harry is feeding YN a piece of strawberry cheesecake and it ends up on her lips instead of in her mouth.
"You did that on purpose," YN laughs, her tongue peeking out to wipe the sweetness away but misses the corner of her lips.
"Missed a spot," Harry chuckles, he leans over to wipe it off with his thumb and when he does, she takes his thumb in her mouth - just for a mere moment to lick it off with a cheeky smile.
Harry feels himself actually start to harden in his pants and he almost wants to panic because that's never happened before - even when girls have tried way more sexy things to get his attention.
It had been a simple but intimate gesture, it wasn't even groundbreaking to YN, she went back to eating her gelato without another thought about the interaction.
Harry had to will himself to calm down, his mind racing to her plump lips and the way it wrapped around his thumb.
If he had any doubt that YN was his person, it was completely gone now - he hadn't even known her long but to say he was infatuated with her was an understatement.
He couldn't find one thing about her that he didn't like from her beauty to her intellect to the way she giggles with a little snort when something was extra funny.
It felt like his world was shaping to revolve around hers but that scared him on the same end that he hadn't known her that long - their emotional connection was just that strong.
After the date, Harry offers to walk her home because she lives in the campus dorms - just like at dinner, very soon into the walk she takes off her heels and shoves them in her purse.
Harry doesn't know if he should make a move, this was all so fucking new, and he felt like he was years behind on what he should know, basics about dates.
YN wasn't hesitant or coy, she quickly intertwined their hands as they walk, bumping shoulders as she points out where her classes are at certain buildings and what she hates about some of her awful professors.
Harry wants to cry because it's just so nice to hold someones fucking hand, that's all he's wanted for so long.
When they arrive at her building, YN digs out her keycard, giving him a pouty expression, "I'm sad our date’s over. I really did have a good time."
"I had an amazing time," Harry tells her seriously, "Will you go out with me again?"
YN squints up at him, with puckered lips, "I'll have to think about it."
Harry's heart drops.
"Oh my god," YN bursts out laughing, "Your face. Of course, I'll go on another date with you, I had fun."
"S'not funny," Harry mumbles grumply as she giggles at his reaction.
"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you," YN hums, stepping into his space and leaning up until their lips meet.
Harry's frozen for a moment, it feels like sparks, like everything finally makes sense but he doesn't realize that he actually physically froze because YN is pulling back.
"Shit, I'm sorry I though-" She begins to apologize profusely, thinking she read the situation wrong.
Harry takes a deep breath, channeling his confidence, and he steps forward into her space now - hands coming to cup her face and bring their lips together passionately.
Their lips move in perfect synchronization, his tongue swiping against her lips until she opens, and he can get entrance.
Her hand comes up to his neck, keeping him close as they kiss, it feels like his first real kiss, and he can't get enough.
When they finally pull back for air, her lips are swollen and she has a starry-eyed smile on her face.
"Goodnight, Harry," YN murmurs softly, pecking his lips one last time before swiping her card and going into her building.
Fucking hell, he was gone for her.
-
He could not stop thinking about her.
Her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes squinted when she was teasing him - this had to be what being in love felt like.
Could it be this easy?
As soon as he gets home, he sends her a text.
Thanks for giving me a chance. I really had a great time. Are you free next Friday?
It barely takes any time for her to respond and he finds his lips turning down at her response.
Are you fucking with me?
He decides to take the more cautious route, reading his text conversation, and he doesn't think he said anything wrong.
No? Did I offend you??
Yes.
As soon as he receives the message he's typing out an apology for whatever he might have said to trigger her to be upset but right before he hits send, another text pops in.
Offended you're not asking me to hang out sooner.
Harry totally does not squeal like a school girl as he smiles stupidly at his phone for the next few moments before remebering to actually text back.
I have a game tomorrow and Sunday but we could hang out Monday night x
They agree on that.
-
When the next day comes, he feels more energized than ever to do good on the field today - he always thrived but YN was really boosting his confidence and overall happiness.
He struts on to the field, he always displayed arrogance on the field no matter how he was feeling on the inside - he wanted to intimidate people and let them know that he's the best.
At the mound, he kicks the dirt a bit and adjusts his hat in a little ritual he always did before scanning the crowd - it was always a full house in the stadiums because of him.
His eyes do a quick skim of the crowd but stop when he's sees YN sitting in the stands without her iPad or notepad - she's sitting with a friend.
Harry's heart leaps as he gives a dimply smile that was exclusively for and he tips his cap towards her in greeting.
She blows him an exaggerated kiss and a small wave as the announcers begin the game.
Harry doesn't know if he's ever had a game that good - he had been on fire the whole time, multiple strikeouts, a home-run, and overall good plays.
When the game’s over after the post-game interview and compliments, instead of heading straight to the showers, he wants to talk to YN but she's no longer in the stands.
He tries not to think too hard about it as he goes into the locker room to shower, in a noticeable less than happy mood.
Harry's actually the last one out, he drags his feet getting into the showers, and lets the hot water just hit against his sore muscles.
By the time he gets out, wrapping a towel around his waist, and stepping over to his duffel - he nearly screams when someone appears in the locker-room.
"What's taking you so long? I've been waiting out there for ages," YN complains with a raised eyebrow, a smirk on her face when she's met with his strong, damp chest - his pec twitches.
"Er," Harry stammers as he stares wide eyed at her, "I didn't think you were waiting for me."
YN shakes her head, "Why wouldn't I? Am I being too subtle about dropping hints that I like you?"
Harry’s chest seizes because he doesn't want her to think that, "No no, it's me. M'sorry I'm fucking this up. I just, yeah..."
I just can't tell you why yet. 
Be patient with me.
"I know you've been with a lot of people, okay? I'm not here to use you and lose you. I want to see where this goes," YN seems frustrated as she explains herself.
"I do too. M'sorry," He apologizes again, the opposite of the cocky asshole she met, "I'm really, really into you."
And you're the first person I've said that to without lying.
"Yeah?" Her words are quiet, bashful as she glances down at her feet for a moment, like she wanted to hear the affirmations from him.
"Of course, you're gorgeous, smart, out of my league, if I'm being honest," He tells her with a raspy chuckle.
"I think you have it backwards," YN murmurs but she's walking towards him, and just like yesterday, kisses him fiercely.
God, he's never going to get tired of this.
He instantly reciprocates her advance, hand moving to the back of her head to cradle her skull and keep her close.
His stomach muscles twitch when her hand comes to his chest, rubbing up and down his abdominal definition, and thumb teasing at his happy trail.
It indescribable how just the simple touch is turning him on, he can feel himself harden at the movement and he can't help but push his tongue into her mouth.
They get startled when a janitor steps into the lockeroom, a tired look on his face when he spots them, "I'm locking up. Get lost, kids."
YN giggles as Harry flushed with embarrassment before she's leaving him to get changed and waiting outside for him to walk her home.
-
The next three weeks were an absolute whirlwind of hanging out in YN's dorm room cuddled together on the tiny bed, watching movies in his room in the frat, Harry stopping by the newspaper office constantly after practice to make sure she ate and then walkingher home, and then on the weekends they were going on dates and YN was coming to watch his games.
He knew that he was in love, he didn't care what anyone had to say about a certain amount of time it took or it was too soon.
Harry had found his person.
The puzzle piece that was missing his whole entire life was wrapped up in a gorgeous girl who bullied him, cuddled him, and gave him attitude when she didn't get her way.
He couldn't imagine anyone better.
There was one major issue, Harry had yet to tell her about his sexuality or the fact that he was a virgin.
He didn't blame her for making assumptions that he had a high body count with the way he flirted at parties - that was in fact the appearance that he was trying to give off even though it was further from the truth.
Harry wanted to tell her but when revealing that he was demisexual that was also telling her that he was head over heels for her.
And even though YN seemed nothing but understanding and accepting, it's different when you're in a relationship with the person.
She doesn't know whether it would matter if he was pansexual, if it would freak her out that he wasn't soley attracted to females.
As much fun as he was having, enjoying this new relationship, there was a lot of anxiety - he hadn't felt this much weight on his chest since high school with Yazmin and prom.
They hadn't gone further than kisses but it wasn't because of lack of arousal, he was so attractive to her that it didn't make sense.
However, up to this point, she hadn't pushed to do anything further than that and he wasn't ready to take the first step either.
It's a standoff until it's not.
YN and Harry are in his frat, they prefered it there for his queen size bed and he had a bigger television that they could binge watch shows on.
It was after a mid-week game, they had done exceptional, and Harry was truly convinced that YN was his good luck charm.
It was late, they both had class tomorrow but YN was sleeping over for the first time because Harry couldn't part with her.
They were in the middle of watching Great British Bake-Off and critiquing their bakes like either of them could do anything close to as good.
YN is tucked into his side, head of his chest but she squirms until she's looking up at him with a frown.
"Whassit?" Harry rumbles as he blinks heavily, his hand coming up to brush her hair out of her face - he couldn't get over how fucking pretty she was.
"Didn't kiss me enough today," YN huffs like she just realized the problem, her bottom lip pouted out.
"Didn't give you enough kisses, huh?" Harry repeats with a raised brow, his thumb coming to pull at her lower lip, "I haven't been very good to you, have I?"
"Absolutely awful boyfriend," YN agrees and everytime she refers to him as that, his stomach flutters.
"Or maybe I've just given it to you too much so now you're a demanding lil' thing," He hums but he's pulling her up so that their lips meet.
Harry can't help that he gets hard everytime they make out, maybe it’s a rookie thing or maybe most guys that's normal for - he wasn't sure.
But Harry and YN had never acknowledged it and as weird as it sounded - it felt good to get hard even if there wasn't relief at that time because it’s more  pleasure and arousal than he's ever felt.
There was no way he wasn’t truly fucked - this girl held everything in her hands, she had so much fucking control over it and she didn't have one fucking clue.
YN's hand is rested on his stomach but at some point she moves it, she moves it right over his bulge in his nike running shorts, and palms at him.
Harry moans embarrassingly loud and sucks in a gasp at the sensation of someone else touching him like this for the first time.
YN pulls back startled like she hurt him and begins to apologize because of his visceral reaction but Harry joins their lips needily before murmuring, "Please baby, don't stop."
"Okay, whatever you want," She simpers quietly, her lips coming to his neck to kiss and nip at the skin as she feels out the shape of him over his thin shorts - thick and ready for her.
Harry is trying to keep his eyes open but it feels so new and euphoric that his lids are heavy as she thumbs over the sensitive tip.
"Take your shirt off," YN requests, not taking her hand off as he rustles hurriedly to get it over his head, "Slow down, we're not in a rush."
It was lightly teasing but it made insecurities tick a bit because he didn't want to embarass himself in his first sexual experience.
His stomach is sucking in at every other touch, his butterfly tattoo dancing as his ribcage outlines against his skin.
Her hand lazily moves upwards again but is taking the liberty of dipping into his shorts and briefs.
He twitches when her hand wraps around him, thumb tracing along the vein on the underside before circling at his already wet tip.
"M'gonna take my time with you," YN promises as she helps him slip the rest of his clothes off, her eyes locking with where he's hard for her.
He feels self-conscious, the first person to see this part of him in this intimate way - it was the most vulnerable he ever felt.
"You're so pretty," She murmurs happily as she begins to give him light strokes, "Makes sense why you have big dick energy. You're massive."
He has to clench his teeth to avoid coming at her words because it was all too much as he kept his hips on the mattress as she twists and tugs with the perfect amount of pressure.
"I-It feels so good, baby," Harry breathes out, he's on the verge of panting when her hand comes to roll his balls delicately.
"Yeah?" YN muses with a devious smile before she's ducking down to lick at the swollen head before suckling at it.
"Fuck, m'sorry," Harry groans as he feels his orgasm start, "S'good, you're so good. Fuck, you're amazin, sweetheart."
He can tell YN is a bit taken aback by his lack of stamina but she swallows as he pulses in her mouth.
When she sits back up, Harry is trying to catch his breath, "I'm so sorry. I just-"
"Stop apologizing," YN tells him firmly, leaning over to pepper kisses over his chest and tummy, "That was perfect. You look so handsome when you come."
Harry preens at the praise, he knows she’s probably just making sure he doesn't fell bad but it seemed genuine.
"Let me take care of you," Harry says after a few more moments, he knew his cheeks were flushed and his chest red with a blush of postorgasm haze and embarassment, what a mixture.
"You any good at it?" She jokes as she playfully licks his nipple before moving to take her own shirt off.
Harry freezes, he knows he probably looks like a deer in headlights before quickly wiping it off his face.
He doesn't respond but instead knocks her hands out of the way to pull the shirt over her head himself.
Her breasts were fucking perfect where they sat in a plain black bra with a little lace detailing on the edge of the cups.
Harry didn't know if he would survive this, he felt like a  stupid teeanger as his hands were shaking with nerves.
This was more nerve-wracking then when he played in the playoffs for baseball or when a college scout came to watch his game.
He sits up and rearranges them until she's laying on her back and he's on top where he feels like he has a bit more control of the situation.
By some grace of god, YN's bra unlatches with a front clip and when he undoes it, it falls to either side and her tits bounce out.
"Holy shit, darling," Harry huffs out in awe, her nipples were already hard and so fucking pretty.
"What?" YN asks in a mere whisper, when he looks up at her - his heart sinks because he was so focused on himself that he didn't even think about how she might be feeling.
It was obvious that YN was a bit nervous too as he revealed her like he might not like how she looks - she’s squirmy and doesn't look him in the eye.
"How are you so fucking beautiful?" Harry shakes his head in disbelief, moving to cup them and they're soft in grip, warm, and good god, he's in love with them already, "Look at you, s'unfair."
YN lets out a pleased giggle and Harry can't wait any longer, he's fucking down to wrap his lips around one of the buds and suckle as his other hand rolls her other nipple.
"Oo-oh," She gasps out, pushing her chest into him, and he was sure that he wanted to hear her moans of pleasure for the rest of his life.
She was responsive to his touch, whimpering and asking for more through her body language as he switched between them and teased them until they were damp and puffy.
"Please, H. I'm so wet," YN begs as her hips move in frustration, her hand weaving into his hair and scratching at his scalp.
"You're wet for me?" Harry pulls back, their eyes meeting and he couldn't believe - he was turning her on even if he didn't know what the fuck he was doing.
"Stop teasing me," She demands with a pout.
He really wasn't.
Harry felt like he was in a movie in a way.
He dreamed about this for so long.
Being so in love with someone that he would want to have sex with them.
It happened and it was happening right now.
If it didn't feel so good, he wouldn't believe it.
Harry may or may not have utilized the internet to search about how to please a female.
He hadn't wanted to come into this and not be able to return the favor - it wasn't that he was uneducated about sex or didn't know the logistics of how to do it.
He didn't want it to be just okay.
He wants to show her how much he's truly gone for her by making her feel the same pleasure she's give  to him.
Harry takes his time kissing down her soft belly, biting at the plush on her hips to make her squeak before he's shimmying her shorts and underwear off.
Harry has never felt so primal in his life when he's met with her mound and puffy folds, glistening with arousal, and he wanted to devour her.
The hesitance is gone as soon as he sees her for the first time.
He's spreading her legs and nuzzling straight in between her folds, lapping at her with excited, eager strokes.
Fuck, she even tasted good.
"Harry, fuck," YN mewls when he finds her clit, it wasn't hard with how swollen and hard it was for him - dragging it between his lips and suctioned it.
Her legs are restless like she wants to close them, her hands balling into the sheets as he relentlessly goes at her.
"Oh my god," She gasps as she bucks upwards, trying to ride his tongue - it was by far the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. 
He couldn't believe he was actually doing a good job his first time, he knew she was actually close because he could feel her throbbing and getting wetter for him.
Her hands move to his hair, gripping it to keep him close to her center as she punches her hips up to find the friction she needs - it was beautiful watching her chase her pleasure without any shame.
He wanted to do this with her for the rest of his life and he knew it wasn't just the sex talking at this point.
She was it for him.
His chest swells in pride when she finally tips over the edge, a continuous stream of soft whining moans out of her mouth as her hips slow down and rest back against the bed - her limbs loosening.
Her face was damp with perspiration, long locks stuck to the side of her neck, and her chest was heaving and falling quickly as she tried to catch her breath.
"That was the best orgasm I've ever had," YN murmurs in awe, goading him back up until they’re kissing in short little pecks and he's brushing that sticky hair off her skin, "You're so good at that."
Harry's internally preening with the compliment, thrilled that he was able to get her off the first time ever doing something like this.
It was dangerous though, he knew already that he was going to crave her, she tasted amazing, it was addictive to be around her.
Everything from her smile to her laugh to the way her folds glistened with her arousal - it was all consuming.
-
Harry knows the longer they're seeing each other that he needs to tell her but the second he tells her about his sexuality, he's basically confessing his love to her.
He begins to feel like he's living this lie because YN occasionally makes a joke about how experienced he is or how many people he'd been with and he doesn't ever deny it.
To be fair, he never confirms it either but that even feels like lying. 
One day while they're at lunch in a little bistro on campus, tucked away in the corner so people don't continuously harass Harry like always.
"I..I shouldn't be surprised at how good you were," YN murmurs shyly, they were talking about last night and when he used his mouth for the first time, "It's just...for me, I've only been with two other guys and it wasn't at all like that."
"They sound like idiots who didn't deserve to give it to you anyways," Harry has to swallow down the possessiveness of two other people having her like that.
She was his.
YN shrugs noncommittal as she sips on her peach tea, "They were okay but not as experienced as you. They hadn't been able to make me, you know...finish."
Cue his chest swelling with pride once again.
YN glances down at her plate, suddenly not making eye contact with Harry and he frowns at that, "What's wrong?"
She shakes her head, letting out a short laugh, "I just feel embarrassed, I guess. I know that I don't have as much experience as you. I've heard the stories of you taking all those girls upstairs at parties. It's not, it doesn't bother me but I...I just worry I'm not going to be good enough or compare."
Harry's heart sinks into his stomach and he knows now would be the absolutely perfect time to actually come clean that all those experiences were fake.
He chokes though, his throat tightens up and he can't find the words but he can reassure her, and he's not lying when he tells her, "Hey, I've never had a better experience than last night and m'not lying. You were amazing, fuckin' perfect. I can still taste how sweet you-"
"Ssh," YN giggles, the mood already lightened again as she chucks a chip at him because she doesn't know if anyone is eavesdropping, "I get it. Thank you."
"Anytime, babydoll," Harry drawls cheekily, exerting confidence when inside he's absolutely panicking.
-
Tonight it is the night.
Harry has nearly canceled three times because he doesn't know if he can do this.
He's so fucking in love with YN.
So fucking gone for her already that he doesn't know how he could lose her if this isn't something she's okay with.
Logically, he knows that if she doesn't accept him for who he is that she's not worth his time but fuck, he loved her.
YN was it for him, he didn't care how early it was or if you’re ot supposed to say that yet because they haven't been together long.
It was the truth though.
Harry wanted to try to make it as casual as possible when he brought it up so he invited her to sleepover after an away game.
He'd organized his room, cleaned his sheets, bought her favorite snacks, and laid out a shirt that she'd want to sleep in.
When she knocked on his bedroom door, one of his mates must have let her in, his hands were physically shaking and his smile was forced through nerves.
"Hi," YN huffs as she brushes past him to drop her overnight bag, "I brought a bag of chips but Niall literally stole them out of my hand and ran away like a little goblin -"
"I have something I need to tell you," Harry blurts out as he quickly shuts the door and leans up against it - he felt like he was about to have a full blown panic attack.
YN freezes from her rant, eyes meeting his with concern at his behavior and his body language, "Is everything okay, H?"
Harry squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and tries to breathe out of his mouth, voice quaking, "I-I don't know."
Fuck, why did he feel like he was going to cry.
"Harry," YN murmurs from where she's sat on his bed now, "You're freaking me out a bit. What's going on?"
"I haven't told you something, important about me," Harry sniffles, he couldn't control the tears that were rolling down his cheeks, and he felt like that scared high schooler all over again, "And I'm scared you won't want to be with me if I tell you."
YN's brow furrows, she doesn't know how to respond because she doesn't know what he's been hiding from her.
"Tell me," She asks softly, her heart was pounding too - she didn't know if he was going to break up with her or tell her he already cheated but she was worried just as much as he was.
"M'not straight," Harry finally whispers, looking down at his feet and avoiding her gaze all together, "I'm pansexual and demisexual. I haven’t been with anyone other than you, ever. God, I know I sound like such a fucking loser."
"Come here," YN responds firmly, her eyes serious and he can't read her expression which makes everything worse as he cries, sniffling and wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand.
He listens though, cautiously walking until he's in front of her - eyes still looking anywhere but at her.
"Look at me," YN prompts once again, waiting until his watering green eyes finally meet hers, "I love you, no matter what your sexual preference is or how many people you've been with."
"You-You love me?" Harry stutters out with another sob, he felt like such a baby but his heart was fluttering and butterflies were turning his stomach.
"I thought I've made it obvious but yes, I do," YN smiles sweetly, pulling him down to kiss him despite his damp cheeks, "I love you as you are. I accept you as you are. You're perfect."
Harry blinks away his tears, letting her cup his jaw and bring him in for short but soft pecks over and over again.
"I know what pansexual is," YN says against his mouth before pulling back a little, "I don't know what demisexual is."
After Harry gets done explaining to her what his sexuality means to him, what he defines as being demi sexual - he's alarmed when he notices tears in YN's eyes now.
"I'm- Are you-" Harry begins to ask but she cuts him off.
"I'm your person?" YN repeats his words from earlier, she sounds like she’s a bit in disbelief that this is all happening.
"You’re my person," Harry agrees, kissing her forehead, nose, lips, cheeks, "I'm so in love with you. It's only ever been you. Only ever will be."
"I love you," YN gasps against his lips, bringing him in for another kiss but this time it's more heated with more purpose behind it as she pulls him down on top of her.
YN and Harry are equally frantic as they tug off each other's shirts, lips wandering over bare skin, and YN whines loudly when his lips wrap around her nipples and suck at them.
She's hurriedly pushing his shorts and briefs off his hips before allowing him to nearly rip her panties with the eagerness to have her bare.
As Harry's mouth teases at her breasts, switching between harden buds and nipping at them - her hands are twined tightly in his hair and holding him to her.
His cock is painfully hard, wet at the tip as he grinds it against her mound - the friction already good.
On one thrust, his length slips through her folds and his swollen head is pumping at her clit - making them both let out a surprised moan at the sensation.
"Need it," YN whines as he pumps his hips, the wet slide against her core was new to him but it felt like heaven, "Please, H."
And he knew what she was asking, he wanted to give it to her but he was scared that it wasn't going to be good.
"It's my first time," Harry mumbles embarrassedly, even though he had already admitted that to her, "I don't know how long I'll last,"
YN wriggles her hips, hissing in pleasure when his cock drags against her slit, teasing at pushing in before pulling away. 
"It's okay, baby," She assures him, petting at his hair, "I just want you, please. I don't care how long you last, just want you. Want to make you mine."
Want to make you mine.
Holy fucking shit.
"Yeah," Harry rasps, voice deeper than ever, feeling a building up in confidence at how bad she wanted him right now.
He was so used to being the best at everything.
He was the best baseball player in the college leagues.
He was the best pitcher to ever attend Duke.
He was the first person to get an MLB draft pick before graduation.
He wasn't used to not being confident in hai abilities but he truly felt the love radiating from YN and knew that she just wanted him however she could get him.
Harry takes a deep breath, hand shaking as he grips himself, positioning at her entrance, and when he pushes in - he knows he moans loud enough that the whole house will be able to hear him.
"Shit, baby," Harry mewls as he drops his head down to take a deep breath before moving, "You feel so good. Fuckin' hell."
"H, move please," YN begs as she wraps her legs around his hips, "You're so big. Feels amazing, please honey."
Harry nods, one more deep breath before he's pulling out nearly to his tip before thrusting back in - the hot, velvet of her walls squeezing him and it was surely what euphoria felt like.
He can feel his orgasm already brimming over and it couldn't have been more than a minute or two - between the feeling around his cock, how pretty the noises she's making are, and the way her tits jiggle with every stroke - he can't last.
"M'sorry," Harry groans as his stomach starts to tense, "M'coming, you feel so good. You're gonna make me come."
With that, he's speeding up and pounding in harder than before - YN’s hand reaches down to rub expertly at her clit until she's clenching up around him and whimpering as her thighs shake.
Harry pulls out after a moment, ducking to grab his discarded tee shirt to clean them both up - he knows his cheeks are twinged pink with embarrassment.
"Hey," YN giggles, grabbing his attention and squishing his cheeks between her hands as she grips his chin, "Don't get all shy on me now."
"M'not being shy," Harry pouts as his words are muffled from his cheeks being smooshed, "I just look like a dickhead, I just came in a fuckin' minute."
YN rolls her eyes, fuck she's so pretty, her skin was literally glowing, "So what? Just means we get to practice more."
Harry chuckles, already feeling the tension ease form his chest, "For the rest of our lives. I only want this with you, ever. My body is yours."
"And I will always love it," YN murmurs more seriously, forehead pressed against his, "I love you for you. I accept you for you. You’re perfect and you're enough."
And after this, Harry never ever doubts that YN is the one for him - not in a few days or a decade when they're married and have four little babies running around that look just like him.
-
You are never alone.
There is always someone ready to listen, there is no struggle too little or too big.
The world needs you here.
Trans Crisis Line
LGBTQIA+ Crisis Talk, Chat, or Text
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umeji-writes · 7 months
Text
I would like to talk about the Music Festival arc - aka my favorite Mairuma arc until now. I love them all tbh, this is just very close to my heart for several reasons. [cw: non-suggestive discussion of s*x; if you are a s*x-repulsed asexual person you are very much welcome to interact, but this may not be the post for you, take care and proceed with caution ♡ edit: I'm uncensoring the words from here onwards thanks to a kind anon's suggestion] To make it short, I love that the main theme of this arc is pleasure, and the desire for it. Honestly, it's very horny - but not in a slimy or creepy way, which is sadly quite rare in my experience. The appreciation for pleasure coming from love (also platonic love) is there in several layers. First, the plot itself, as Lilith cries out her desire to find "a love that burns like fire". She is not satisfied by most pretenders, and especially this frame spoke to me:
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Because... Well... It's so true. I am an adult, and I had my share of sexual partners. The expressions people make irl are not always aesthetically pleasing, but who cares! We are told to strive to be always attractive, but in those moments of intimacy it's really not important, not as much as being fully present and enjoying the moment! Then, can we talk about Kalego please?
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I mean, Nishi here went all out and didn't even try to hide her fascination for ...discipline:
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(and to be fully clear: I am NOT implying there is sexual tension between Kalego and his students, I am only referring to him!!!) When I saw the whip I couldn't believe my eyes. Of course in that context it's not used that way, but it's very much recognizable as an adult tool... But more on this later. Finally, I really like that the Misfits are growing up and finding out new things about themselves. They are characterized as high school students (even if we don't know how old they actually are), which is when humans tend to have their first experiences and explore their sexualities. They are building together this beautiful show full of emotions and desire, and honestly performing with other people is really an amazing feeling (I am a former musician and theater actor - let me tell you, every performance was fire). Look at their faces: from here...
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...to here.
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They are shocked, but happy! And definitely feeling ...feelings. And here is my main takeaway: I am really, really sad that sex is a taboo topic in our society, and when there's something about sex, it's mostly treated in a very bad way. This includes sex scenes in generic-audience movies, which I tend to dislike... I hate that sex is handled like a dirty and secret thing. I hate that sex is mostly treated as something that has to do with power imbalance and taking advantage of someone else, usually men that "want to do stuff TO" women (nonbinary individuals like myself not found) - and too often not in a hot and consensual way. I hate that social media are becoming more and more sex-hostile, because investors fear these topics, and use children as a shield to justify limiting contents for adults as well. I hate that sexual education is mainly reserved for talking about pregnancies and, if the students are lucky, prevention of STDs. Solo or reciprocal pleasure? Consent? Treating it as a normal part of life for many people (and not ALL, again, asexual people exist)??? Naaaah, why do that, when you can make people feel shame and embarassment and perpetuate trauma. Again, I am a grown-up now, and while this is legal and everything, I was conditioned to feel some level of shame nonetheless when talking about it irl (which I am working on). The whip I was writing about before (and the kneeling scene afterward)? It was a revolution in my brain. "So... That's a thing we can do...?"
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(like that) I plan on doing some adult drawings in the future, but there's a part of me that resists the idea, because adult entertainment usually involves some level of dehumanization... But you know what? I want to take it back and make it about pleasure and enjoyment as it should be. Tbh, I could write a whole essay on the causes for all of the above and how they interact (patriarchy, capitalism, religions as power institutions, etc.), but this is not the place. So I'll just say that I am really, really grateful to Nishi for including this arc in a manga for a young audience, as those are important years to build a healthy relationship with pleasure and one's own body. And as Sullivan said...
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I'm very much convinced that Nishi is doing a great job at sending messages for inclusion and social equality in M!IK, taking the role of educator herself. (Other reasons why I love the Music Festival arc are: Soi's story, Clara and Azz becoming closer, Iruma learning the piano, the appreciation of music itself, the immaculate art and more, but that's for another post!!!)
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look-at-the-soul · 7 days
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Cia I adore this gif you sent! (Thank you for the inspiration!!) I immediately got the idea but other stories came to my mind first 🤭
Still loving you
Robert Fischer x reader (and it’s also part of my grandma tribute) ♥️✨
Word count: 3,246
Robert waited next to the carrousel, there had been trouble with the system and people had to wait in order to pass with a custom. He just hoped this would be solved quickly because he had a meeting in…
That laugh and that voice only belonged to someone. Turning around he stopped looking at the screen on his phone.
No.
This couldn’t be happening.
¿Y/N?
Robert felt his body froze, his heart rate increased and memories came back and hit him like an avalanche. After all these years.
Flashback:
Y/N felt her knees go weak the moment she saw Rob stepping down his vehicle. Dressed in an immaculate suit with a silky black tie and that effortlessly hairstyle that suited him so well, his face seemed to be made by a Greek God.
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It was odd that he asked about her appointment at the salon, perhaps he’d send his driver to pick her up for the gala…
She tried to grab his face to give him a welcome kiss, but Robert stopped her, giving Y/N an emotionless stare. She soon was aware of his cold reaction.
“What’s wrong?”
Robert shifted his weight from one foot to another uncomfortably.
“I’m going to the United States.”
Y/N blinked confused by his statement.
“What? When?”
He wanted to reach out and touch her, but instead he decided to hide his hands inside his pockets. “Tomorrow night, it’s all settled.”
“But.. but I thought you’d be starting on the September course.”
“No, I enrolled in the summer program.”
“Okay, I could cancel my Venice holiday and meet you there then…” Y/N proposed, thinking of some way to make it work.
They had just graduated and she was hoping they’d take the next step in their relationship soon, so moving in while he focused on his master degree in a foreign country sounded promising.
“I could start hunting apartments right away, are you staying in a hotel meanwhile babe?” She smiled again, thinking it could be good he took the lead and moved there first, so he could explore the area and find potential places. “But first I’d need to fly there, do you think your Dad would still let me use his private plane? He had said before anytime, but since you’ll be there…”
“Y/N…” the way he said her name, made her look at him. But she didn’t like what she found in his eyes. “This is why I needed to see you. I’m going away for a couple of years, we’ve to end this. Right here, before I go.”
And she couldn’t hear anything else he said, because her ears were buzzing, she felt like she was underwater and that someone was stealing the air from her lungs.
“But I could fly over and be there, lots of people have a long distance relationship nowadays.”
“Don’t make this more difficult.” He begged, making an effort to keep his emotions at bay.
“You can’t be serious.” Y/N blinked nervously, trying to find for a sign in Robert’s face that this was a bad joke.
She waited a few minutes, eagerly to hear him ask her to come with him, that he was only messing with her, he was always joking.
But when he didn’t back off, she swallowed hard.
“Really? You can’t even tell me a valid reason to break up with me?” Tears would start falling any minute now.
“You know I’m going to start my master degree overseas. It’s for the best.” Robert tried to excuse his sudden decision.
“The best?”
She barely had time to process the sudden news. How long had he been planning this?
Anger took over her, pinching the bridge of her nose, she tried to control her emotions. “You know what? Do whatever the fuck you want Robert! Go and study your goddamn master, I hate you!”
Taking her purse, Y/N rushed, needed to get to her car as fast as she could. She had dreamed Robert would ask her to go with him to the United States, to live together and then, get married. But instead he broke her heart? He was he love of her life, they had plans together for the future, they were good… or at least she thought so, now realizing how selfish he really was.
Tears ran free down her face and she cursed in frustration now realizing how selfish he really was. The son of a bitch, he didn’t care about anyone else but himself.
Y/N never saw the way he broke into a crying mess. Feeling guilt eat him alive for causing her such pain. But he was suffering as much as her or probably even more, she had been his rock, his safe place to hide, he could be real and honest with Y/N. But now, not only she was gone, but that part of him as well.
Robert kept his head down during the entire ride to the charity event his family was hosting, thankfully his driver kept quiet. Images of Y/N giving him a look full of sadness and disappointment for breaking up with her filled his mind, he hoped the image would stop haunting him at some point. He didn’t want that to happen, but he was convinced if he focused solely on his studies, he’d make his father proud.
They were still young, he wanted to prove he was worth of the Fischer company and he needed to work hard to achieve that.
Putting on an emotionless expression, he took a few shaky breaths to mask the fact that he was dealing with a broken heart.
Walking past the directors and board members of the company, he shook some hands, everybody was expecting a lot of things from him, he had a very important place to fill in…
“Darling, over here!” His grandmother’s voice caught his attention among the people. “Where’s Y/N?” She turned her face around, searching for her.
“She isn’t here grandma.”
His maternal grandmother gave him an expectant look.
“Why not? She was so excited yesterday.”
“I just broke up with her.” He explained uncomfortably, his jaw clenching.
His grandmother couldn’t believe his words, Y/N was the most charming girl she had ever met, she had Robert drooling over her, her family was respectable, she was well educated, smart, funny, beautiful, everything anyone would kill to be.
“I need to focus on my maste-”
But his grandma was already shaking her head and giving him a disapproving glance.
“This is the worst decision you’ve ever made. And you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
(End of flashback)
And his grandmother was right, he did regret it every single day. He finished his master and started working for his father’s company, he had made his family’s wealth bigger than he ever imagined.
But none of that really mattered, because he let true love slip away from him that night.
And now she was standing a few steps away from him. And she was still the most beautiful girl in the room.
“Why is that man staring at you?”
Zoe whispered at her friend confused. Was he even blinking?
Y/N frowned and turning her face around, she found the man that broke her heart years ago.
The world stopped spinning for an instant and the air escaped her lungs. She could practically feel her blood running out of her body.
All the memories flashing back at her, as if it was a movie scene. His cold words playing over and over in her mind.
No, time doesn't heal anything. It’s just a way to disguise the pain people say to cover an uncomfortable silence.
And she knew it still hurt like the first day because even after all these years, she still cared about him.
Robert managed to leave his initial shock behind, and he finally started moving towards her.
What should he say? Should he greet her with a kiss on the cheek or keep his distance?
The heaviness in his heart grew as he saw Y/N blinking, looking from side to side as if trying to find a way to avoid him.
“Y/N.” Her name on his lips seemed to burn.
She could feel her friends whispering in shock, they must’ve realized by now who he was because they knew the story.
How are you supposed to react in moments like these? Say it’s lovely to see you! No, because it wasn’t.
Could this be their chance to talk about what happened? He wondered if she had someone in her life. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came up.
“Robert.” She raised her eyebrows, but other than that, he didn’t get much. Except she folded her arms in front of her chest, in a protective reaction. “All right, let’s go.” She stammered to the girls, wanting to go as fast as she could.
“There’s a problem with the car rental, they canceled.” Zoe announced and threw a subtle glance in Robert’s direction, he was still standing there, looking at Y/N.
He noticed Y/N wasn’t wearing a wedding band on her left hand, she was carrying a book in her bag.
“We’ll get an Uber then.” Y/N proposed trying to make her friends start walking.
“It’s extra expensive right now, it’s rush hour.”
“I’ve a driver waiting for me.” Offered Robert. “I could take you anywhere.”
A heavy silence fell upon them, you could hear a pin drop. Zoe and Lisa looked at each other, not fully believing what was happening. Then, they looked at Y/N.
“This isn’t a good idea.” She admitted in a low voice, avoiding his eyes.
“Hey c’omon we won’t be able to make it on time with this traffic.” Lisa pointed out.
Zoe gave Robert a suspicious look.
Whatever was crossing his mind, his ego dropped to the floor, he had been waiting for this moment all his life.
“I think a ride won’t hurt nobody, right?”
Before Y/N could protest, Lisa practically jumped on Robert, not wanting to give Y/N time to react. “I hope you’ve enough space in that vehicle because we overpacked.” And she grabbed him by the arm as if they were long time friends. “I’m Lisa.”
“I think I’m going to throw up.” Y/N grabbed Zoe’s hand for reassurance.
“Take a deep breath honey, this is not the right time to have a breakdown, you’re stronger than this.”
“Why him? Why now? After all this time…” Y/N’s eyes darted again towards Robert, who was walking several steps ahead with Lisa still hanging from his arm.
“I don’t know, but perhaps you were meant to run into each other, it was just a matter of time.” Zoe gave her friend a sympathetic look. “It still affects you.”
Her friend’s statement made Y/N stop walking.
It did. It still hurt her definitely. But it was only because Robert had been the love of life.
That was the truth, plain and simple, over time she of course started dating another man, but as soon as she realized things were about to get serious or that he would take the next step she decided to end the relationship not wanting to get married to the wrong man.
She wasn’t scared of marriage, she hated the idea of waking up one day and feel disappointed of the choices she made, it didn’t make sense probably for most of the people, but she rather choose to be alone.
Of course she never expected to see Robert again, there were a lot of things left unsaid between them. And all of those years apart didn’t prepare her to face him once more.
She remained quiet on their way towards his vehicle, the internal turmoil taking over with each step she took. And there he was holding the door open for her, giving her the sad and traumatized puppy eyes a pet would use after being scolded.
“I’ll go in the back.” Announced Zoe climbing in while the driver took their luggage.
Lisa gave her friend a curious look. “Can I go in the front? I get car-sick.”
That left Y/N sharing the second row of seats with Robert.
Y/N shook her head slightly while she tried to control her heart drumming like crazy, all their memories flashing her back in time to when they were happy, when they first kissed, when they first made love and of course, when he broke her heart.
A heavy and uncomfortable silence filled inside the vehicle.
Y/N tried to focus her gaze in the sighting they were passing through the busy streets, the man in the bicycle, the three women at the café, the elderly couple with their dog, anything but the man sitting next to her that was subtly looking at her and clearing his throat. She could feel his eyes on her, boring into her soul.
“Where am I driving to Sir?” The driver asked, waiting for instructions.
Lisa gave him Y/N address, she had a small loft in the city and they’d be staying there for the book signing event.
A million thoughts crossed Robert’s mind, he wanted to apologize first. But after all those years? Y/N could hardly stand to be in the same car with him clearly. What could he say? How could he even even begin to justify what he did to her back then? There wasn’t a single valid reason for leaving her the way he did.
And for what? To get his father’s approval? To show the old man that he was worth to be his son?
He lost the best damn thing that could ever happen to him. He lost her over nothing.
But now he was willing to give everything for her.
When they arrived, Y/N thanked the driver, took her bags and mumbled a very lowly thanks to Robert through gritted teeth, then she excused to rush to use the ladies room, leaving Robert standing there in the middle not knowing what to do with a million words to say and a sincere apology trapped in his lips.
Zoe approached him quietly, she had known Y/N for over ten years and given her reaction to the odd encounter, despite all, she knew Y/N still cared about him.
“Can I ask you a question before anything else?”
Robert crossed his arms and gave her a nod.
“Are you single?” That was the most important thing to know first.
“Yes.”
Then, onto the next question. “Call me a witch if you want, I don’t know you… but I know her. Do you still have feelings or something? I know it got messy the last time you talked but...”
Robert allowed himself to let his guard down, the one he had built after losing Y/N. He never let another woman into his heart. His bed? Yes. But not his heart.
“I don’t think it matters, she can hardly stand to look at me for two seconds.” He saw the pain was still there in her eyes.
“She’s going to hate me for doing this but if I can help in any way it’s worth the risk…” Zoe assured him. “I’ve a book signing today at four o’clock, this is the address.” Noticing the confusion in Robert’s eyes, she added; “this isn’t my business but I know the two of you’ve an unfinished business.”
Robert stared at the flyer, wondering what was the right thing to do.
“What if she doesn’t want to see me?”
“Oh it’s going to be hard, trust me.” Zoe then took her best friend side. “And if you hurt her again, I’m going to give you hell for ruining it twice.”
As the girls walked inside the apartment, Robert took his time to process everything, and taking his phone, he called his assistant to clear his schedule for the day, his mind couldn’t stop thinking of the series of events that just happened.
***
Robert took a look at his watch impatiently, then stared out the window of his vehicle and his eyes stopped at the women walking down the street. A grandma with what looked like her granddaughter, strolling with their arms linked, their eyes focused in the articles before their eyes and it made him think immediately of Y/N and her grandmother. How many times did he found them just like that, then they’d drive back into her grandmas house for lunch or dinner, the same with his grandmother.
When everything was simpler and happier. When they were together.
“Mr. Fischer, they are done signing the books.” His driver informed him.
Marcus didn’t ask him anything further, and without intention the man pressed him to make a choice. Walk in the book store and try to apologize to Y/N or drive away and leave behind a small possibility to get her back.
All damn day he kept thinking about her and what they had. How different his life would be if only he didn’t let her go that day.
But guilt was eating him alive, for the damage he caused her.
Did he deserve to be happy for once?
A bald man stepped out of the store, holding the door open and then he saw Zoe and Lisa walking out.
But when he saw Y/N hiding her beautiful eyes behind her sunglasses, he soon realized by just one look that he never stopped loving her.
“Y/N!” It was an impulsive move, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Wait…” he pleaded her, the three girls turned around to face him.
She gave him a confused look, not knowing what he was doing there or how he knew. Would the feeling of being incomplete without Robert would ever go away? Her heartbeat went crazy.
Knowing there was a possibility that Y/N could reject him, Robert cleared his throat and hid his hands inside his pockets. “I owe you a sincere apology, Y/N and I know it won’t take away what I did…” two pairs of curious eyes stared back at him. “I’m really sorry.”
Y/N stood there processing his words unsure of what to do or say. A million thoughts crossing her mind.
“If you want, we could talk? Privately.” He struggled to say the words, not because he didn’t mean it, because he was terrified of getting a negative answer. His next words came out as whisper whilst he looked down. “If you agree of course.”
Time slowed as Y/N took a deep breath, pondering on his words. Had she been waiting all her life for this moment? Was this the closure her heart needed?
She opened her mouth to explain him, she already had plans with her friends, but Zoe gave her a disapproving glance, reading her mind.
“I don’t know what will happen next,” Y/N said cautiously, “but I think a chat it’s a good start.”
“Thank you.”
As soon as she said those words, she felt free, relieved even for carrying the burden for so long. Whilst for Robert, this was the small light at the end of the tunnel.
They both knew it would take a lot of time to rebuild a relationship like they did. But at least this was the first step to try to get back the love they once had.
And without a doubt, he still loved Y/N.
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Robert Master list
Tag list: @lyarr24 @ttzamara @gretelshelby @camilahpg03 @acillianproblem
@chishiyasan @allyly @fastfan @thomashelbyswife @lespendy
@onlydeadcells @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @cloudofdisney @blondie-22 @esposadomd
@stevie75 @justrainandcoffee @elenavampire21 @thenattitude @adaydreamaway08
@darleneslane @sloanexx @shaddixlife @forbidden-forest-witch @forgottenpeakywriter
@ange-thoughts @babaohhhriley @kmc1989 @allie131313 @everythingelseisextra
@nela-cutie @betty21rose @aphroditeslover11 @lau219
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igotanidea · 3 months
Text
Lollipop: Dick Grayson x kid!sister!reader
(part 1 of 4 for the batboys x sister!reader)
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This was not supposed to end up like this.
At least at first, cause it was showing signs of impending tragedy.
He was only going to be gone for like 15 minutes with the best intentions of getting his little sister the biggest lollipop available at the fair shop.
And the fact that this beautiful girl was standing there casually, throwing glances his way had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Yes, he was flirty chatty, I mean – can you seriously blame a man with his look and charm? No right? No, of course not.
But, being the responsible older brother, he grabbed his sister and carried her piggyback straight to the shop, while cracking jokes and making the five-year old laugh softly, in the way only little kids can. Literally lighting up his entire world and having a great brother-sister bonding.
„So. Which one of the lollipops would you like Y/N?”
„That one!” she pointed her little fingers to the red and yellow piece of Candy on the display.
„Sure thing, little one, let me handle it for you.”
„Your daughter is so cute…” the girl Dick had an eye on, appeared next to him, flipping her hair flirtatiously, flashing him a bright smile.
Daughter?!
Shit.
Did he look that old that someone might take Y/N for his daughter?!
Was his hair going grey or something?
Did he have wrinkles?
He wasn’t even 30 yet and now he was appearing as a father figure?!
He loved that kiddo, he truly did, but this?
Too much.
„She;s actually my sister” he managed to say even though there was a whirlwind of emotions inside him.
WAS HE OLD NOW?!
„Oh, so cute. And you’re on the babysitter duties I guess?”
„Something like that.”
„Dick!” Y/N squirmed on his shoulders getting impatient and wanting her sweet.
Under any other circumstances in any other company that little word coming out of the word of a five year old would be completely Innocent and harmless, however Y/N had no idea what kind of reaction it may get from a – well- stranger.
“Did you teach her such language?!” the girl frowned in rebuke.
“What?” Dick chuckled nervously “No, no, you don’t understand, this is not a curse, it’s—”
“It sounds like one to me.”
“No!” Dick grinned “It’s actually my name!”
“Your name?” the girl raised an eyebrow “Are you for real right now?”
“Dick!” Y/N cried out again, wriggling so hard she almost fell from his shoulders, but due to some miracle he caught her safely, torn between wanting to smooch her cute little face and hiding her somewhere so she wouldn’t embarrass him even more. “Shh, kiddo. The adults are talking.”
“But I want –”
“I know little one, but if you could just give me five minutes—” Dick held his sister tight to his chest, whispering in his ear but she was not going to take his mysteriousness.
“Hi!” she turned around in her brother’s arms and called upon the girl “you’re pretty.” Her words were only as honest as a kid can be. No filter, no hesitation, no embarrassment and no overthinking.
“Well thank you. I’m Elle.”
“I’m Y/N.” the little girl reached her hand to the older one, squeezing it with the most stern face she could produce still being the cutest human being to walk the earth. “And that’s my brother, Dick. Dick! Come say hi to Elle!”
“That really is your name?”
“It’s Richard actually. But everyone just call me Dick. No subtext, I swear!” he laughed seeing Elle’s sceptic face expression.
“He’s my favorite brother!” Y/N clung to his legs, wrapping those tiny arms around them “yesterday he braided my hair and all the girls in the kindergarten were looking at me with jealousy!”
It was more likely shock, cause “braided” in Dick’s dictionary meant doing so many complex swirls that the complicated hairstyle seemed to stay on the head only by a miracle.
“And he watched all episodes of Dora the explorer with me! He even learned the song, come on Dickie!!” Y/N pulled his trouser leg “come on, sing with me! Jump in! ¡Vámonos! You can lead the way! Hey! Hey!” every exclamation mark was highlighted by the girl's joyful jump.
“Hey! Hey!” Dick grinned getting carried away by the cheerful melody and only after a while realizing that he must be making a fool of himself. “Yeah… um….”
“My brothers love that cartoon too.” Ellie smiled
“Oh, you have brothers?” now that was something the resident flirt could pursue “may it be that they are Y/N’s age?”
“Five and three. Do you think maybe they could hang out?”
“Oh, I absolutely think they could hang out.” Right, because it was all about the younger siblings. “Care to give me your phone number so we can arrange the da--… I mean the acknowledgement?”
Five minutes later Ellie said her goodbye and Dick was left with the very valuable number saved safely in his phone.
“Great job Y/N.” he put his hand up (not too high) so the girl could high (again- not too high) five him.
“Duh!” she scoffed with the face of a girl boss. “But seriously, you should up your game Dick!”
“Up my--? WHAT?! Where did you heard that?!”
“Uncle Wally—”
“Uncle Wally will not get fast enough to run from me now.” Dick hissed
“Hey, Dick?”
“Yeah, Yeah, I know, let’s get you that lollipop first, my little diva. You deserve it.”
He picked her up from the ground and spun joyfully in the air.
Who would have thought that he would actually be the oldest brother to such a tiny precious human, serving perfect role as her guardian angel.
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catmansquad · 6 months
Text
Eldritch!König
Headcanons galore for the troubled soul.
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For as long as he remembered, he knew he wasn’t like other children.
His mother would wrap him up warm, a little scarf so that no-one could see the welts all over his lower face.
Their parents would whisper, and pull the children away from him.
His mother was loving and warm, but his father never showed him love. The man was cold and abusive. Calling him a freak with bloodshot eyes and the stench of alcohol on his breath.
Eventually his father revealed himself as violently homophobic. König’s attempt at exploration in his teen years ended in being beaten black and blue. His father called him a freak in more ways than one.
König was inevitably forced to confront the fact that he definitely wasn’t like other people. The man who spat venomous words was only his step-father. His mother conceded defeat when he stepped into the light to show his face. She told him that his father- his sire- was “exceptional” in all ways. A night of transcendental passion that defied all description.
At 35 years old, König stands over 7’ tall, and can lift a grown man single-handedly.
To say he is intimidating would be an awful understatement.
Until he met you, there was only one other man he trusted and loved deep enough to unmask himself. It was the deep and pure acceptance he’d always longed for. For a time, he had found someone he could trust absolutely.
When the townsfolk came with torches and petrol bombs, chanting of death to the “Abomination”, König was determined to fight, then to flee with his beloved. In the end, only he escaped the flames.
It takes him months of letting down his barriers and rejecting your attempts to see his face, before he finally agrees.
“Promise me, mein Schatz… P-promise me that you... Won’t scream…”
You had expected scarring, perhaps disfigurement.
“I promise, King, you’re handsome to me no matter how-“
You barely manage to choke back the shriek of horror, eyes blown wide as the sniper’s hood falls to his side, clutched tight in a fist.
His azure eyes are sad, sparkling with unshed emotions. All six of them. His nostrils are narrow, his frowning mouth barely visible beneath the many long, tentacles that now hang limp and still as he waits for you to reject him. To call him a freak. To run, screaming into the night, howling about a monster.
“That’s… N-not what I was expecting.”
His eyes flick up to meet yours, a soft gasp passes his lips. You don’t run, you step closer to him. Had reaching out, fascinated, until you stopped. “Can I touch them?”. He nods, slowly.
He shivers at the feel of your fingers brushing along one of his appendages, it twitches at the foreign contact. He slowly coaxes it into wrapping around your hand in return.
Kissing König is an experience. His huge hands cup your ass to support you against his chest, his tendrils wrap around your neck, across your shoulder and down your back, pulling you close against him. He kisses back with a ferocious desperation, a touch-starved, love-starved man who finally has acceptance once.
He has other secrets, too; of how his gloves conceal his dark, sharp nails and webbed fingers, of the faint, closed slits in his neck that hide gills, and of how the light never seems to sit quite right on his bare skin. It is as if the shadows of the night sky want to swallow him up.
You’d always let you imagination run wild, the first few times you’d slept with the hulking Colonel, the man who refused to show his face, but the moans and groans of your name from beneath the hood had been enough to sate you. Loving him for who he really was did not take much effort.
He loves you just as much. Perhaps, his love burns too hot. After what befell the last man who accepted him, König would do anything to keep you safe. To keep you his. Anything.
“Mein Liebe, mein Schatz… Mine…“
It’s common to wake up to find yourself hugged against his chest, eyes watching you sleep, a single tentacle stroking your cheek. Your dreams are stranger these days; of a ruined city beneath an eclipsed sun, and tattered yellow banners fluttering in dead winds.
You witnessed him deal with the last man who assaulted you; the mask shifted and one tentacle lashed out from beneath, wrapping around his neck and strangled him while König looked on with a ferocious growl in his chest.
At the Halloween party, König greeted you wrapped in golden silks and a white veil. He hugs you close, lavishing little kisses while spinning you on the spot and whispering sweet nothings in you ear. “I know who I am. What I am here for. Be my consort, by my side. Forever. We will rule this world made anew. You are worthy, dear one…”
Only then did you recognize what he meant. He was telling you who he was. His callsign, his robes of golden yellow silk, the yellow tears that stained his sniper hood. He’d always been telling you.
“Der gelbe König”.
The King in Yellow embraces you as the eye of the storm, lost in each other’s eyes, as the madness claims all else.
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