#I have so many thoughts on this film dude it’s just. so good.
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I think what I adored most about nope is how jeanjacket, as a predator animal, functions in a way that makes sense for a creature designed the way she is. She spends most of her time dormant in a cloud, only leaving her camouflage to hunt, and she doesn’t ever attack without reason, and I think the most brilliant thing about the eye contact being what makes her go berserk is that that makes a shit ton of sense for a creature like her.
With her being shaped the way she is, the only way she Can attack someone is while making eye contact— and if another one of her species was to do that? That would be a declaration of all out war. That’s a clear sign of aggression, and the fact that the movie plays into that— the fact that the stadium Jupe built is shaped like an eye, the fact that she flares up at the balloon at first in a clear show of aggression, of fear, trying to scare off what she presumes to be a threat…
And of course, the fact that it just plays into the theme that not everything is a spectacle to be stared at, that people can be destroyed by seeking fame or fortune, that tragedy can’t be tamed and that the past will eat you alive if you’re not careful— and that it all fucking fits flawlessly into her design as a creature. It just. Nope is The Movie Ever.
#nope#nope 2022#nope spoilers#jean jacket#nope movie#I have so many thoughts on this film dude it’s just. so good.#AND she’s shaped like a CAMERA she’s a CAMERA#she’s representative of the audiences for tragedy and how it becomes just#an infinite feedback loop of people amplifying what shouldn’t be amplified#creating a Literal Whirlwind#jupe calls her a viewer and just. God there’s so many layers there’s So Many#the movie ever
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picturing Eddie first meeting Dustin and thinking yeah, he knows how this goes: he’ll be a larger than life, comical figure in this kid’s life for, like, not even a year before he leaves Hawkins High in the dust.
And sure, Dustin is, like, ridiculously endearing even when he’s being a cocky little shit in campaigns, and that suits Eddie just fine, ‘cause he can be a cocky little shit at the best of times, downright obnoxious really, he thinks—a part of him’s never outgrown the juvenile, no matter how many times he repeats senior year.
Plus Dustin is crazily good at solving riddles, so Eddie’s remaining months leading Hellfire are definitely gonna be a fun challenge.
Then March comes.
And Eddie’s shaking apart in a boathouse, seeing impossible, terrible things on a loop in his head, Chrissy, Chrissy, God no, please, and Dustin’s there, with a wisdom far beyond his years, calmly leading him out of the dark.
Eddie half expects it to be a trick, but no. Dustin Henderson believes him.
You don’t know me, Eddie wants to say.
But there’s a constant defiance in Dustin’s expression, even when he’s clearly trying to keep things light and breezy, there’s nothing to worry about! Like he’s just daring for Eddie to contradict him.
There’s something assured in how the kid does things, Eddie thinks. He can see how the years of all this shit have shaped him, have him flitting between maturity and earnestness: something born from a childhood that’s not been lost, just altered.
He watches Dustin walk with Steve Harrington in the woods—can read the shared history and fondness hidden in between layers of snark; they’re family, he knows that without a doubt.
What trips him up is that Dustin keeps looking back, keeps drawing him back into the group with complaints that he’s walking too slow, and his eyebrows are raised meaningfully, like he’s really saying that there’s room for Eddie here, too.
And Eddie doesn’t know how to convey the sudden gratitude he feels closing up his throat—feels too jittery still, too raw to do anything justice.
He keeps close when Dustin tears off through the woods, heart in his mouth as the night darkens, Dustin, can you slow down? Dustin!
He pulls Dustin back from the lake’s edge just in time, then feels Steve’s watchful eyes on him—spots a flicker of approval, like he’s passed some sort of test.
And that feeling only grows the longer he’s around Steve, lying through his teeth in The Upside Down, I don’t even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, and Steve’s giving him this knowing sideways glance, like maybe they’re something of the same; Eddie feels a sudden, unexpected rush of joy at the thought, dancing in and out of Steve’s space, still super jealous as hell, by the way.
“I told you, right?” Dustin says, grinning widely as Steve drives them out of Forest Hills at breakneck speed. “He’s awesome.”
And Eddie feels the fondness of his own smile, feels it right down to his core, because he gets that Dustin’s only being so forthcoming because Steve can’t hear him right now.
Kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea.
It hits him then, while roughhousing with Dustin in the grass (a deliberate distraction, trying to make the kids forget about weapons and fire): that he’s never really been the kinda guy who people want to stick around, but now…
Now he’s starting to think that he could be.
Starts to imagine, starts to hope—and that’s huge, something that would’ve seemed impossible mere days ago—as he sees Robin and Nancy laughing at his antics, their weapon-making temporarily forgotten.
They like me, Eddie thinks with wonder, they really like me.
And he wants—sudden and fierce, with all he has—to change the world for them, to make it so Robin Buckley would just be spending spring break watching arty films, dreaming of Paris; so Nancy Wheeler would never need to hide guns in her bedroom, would never have to carry an unimaginable grief.
Steve looks over, too—his laugh carries across the field, and Eddie is caught by the warmth in his eyes; even as Dustin manages to playfully tackle him, he’s still thinking of Steve, and maybe, maybe…
The lightness fades as they go over the plan, but not the emotion: Eddie keeps that tucked away, safe, a promise to himself.
“Uh, are you sure about this?” he says in an undertone to Steve, when it’s first revealed that it’s him and Dustin paired up together.
Steve’s eyes are apologetic, “Sorry, man, I’ve tried every—if there was a way to just, like, sit it out, I’d have—”
“No,” Eddie says urgently, “I mean…” And he points at himself before nodding discreetly to where Dustin is—currently talking up a storm with Erica, something about vents that he can’t make sense of.
“Are you sure?” Eddie presses, trying to put all he’s not saying into the question, I can see how much that kid means to you, I’ve known him, like, six months, Harrington, that’s nothing, why, why do you—
Steve shakes his head. A little smile breaks through his concern. “Yeah, of course,” he says, like it’s nothing.
But Eddie can feel the weight of it. A passing of the torch.
And he doesn’t know how to put what he’s feeling into words: that, apart from Wayne, he’s never really allowed people in, never allowed them to matter like this.
As they drive back to the Creel House, as time runs out and nerves build, he tries to show everything he can’t say; he helps Nancy take stock of supplies, offers Robin his shoulder so she can sleep, and he knows that’s not enough, barely scratches the surface, but it’s all he’s got.
He sits in the back of the RV, watches Steve, tense and silent in the driver’s seat, and knows with certainty what his mission is: get Dustin Henderson safely back home.
And no, Eddie doesn’t know how any of this is gonna go.
But he can hope.
He can try.
#the dynamic between them all makes my heart ache. just working through some thoughts ❤️#eddie and dustin#eddie munson fic#henderfam#steve and dustin#eddie and dustin fic#eddie munson analysis#dustin henderson analysis#eddie munson headcanons#eddie munson hcs#steddie#eddie and the party#eddie munson ficlet#eddie and dustin ficlet#implied steddie#pre steddie#eddie munson
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⌕ dates with riize 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
hello briize hello riize lovers i’m one of you please keep the requests coming
PAIRING riize x gn!reader (not proofread!)
TAGS sfw, fluff, headcanons
OSAKI SHOTARO ༄
literally all sunshines and rainbows throughout the rest of the relationship
if you get into an argument with him that has GOT to be your fault idk what to tell you
i feel like he’s the type of boyfriend to teach you how to drive
and when you hit the curb he’s like “that’s okay! we can try again when i fix the car!”
but at the same time he’s gripping that roof handle in the car for dear life but he’s just too sweet to tell you that your driving’s horrible
he never lets you drive again btw
HE’D FILM SOOO MANY DANCE TIKTOKS WITH YOU!!!
also i feel like instead of a gf effect, it’s the opposite with him because he gives you the bf effect
your entire fashion style is gonna change for sure like have you seen this man? that is a man of AESTHETICS
would be so enthusiastic with teaching you all the tiktok dance steps
and none of these tiktoks are cringe they’re actually those cool ones
the type to hug you at the end of the tiktok video or kiss the temple of your head idk…
i imagine his ideal dates might be cafe hopping/cafe hunting all across tokyo or just shopping around shibuya
takes you to one of those claw machines while you’re shopping and he’ll try winning you a random plushie of an anime that neither of you watch
so now you have a random plush of like… some dude from haikyuu
would pay for your drinks btw (coffee, milk tea, matcha)
SONG EUNSEOK ༄
OK LISTEN.
cake decorating
he just looks like he’d enjoy doing that like did you see how proud he was wearing that hello kitty hairclip
please this man is gonna hear you suggest it and he’s like “LET’S GO!!”
craziest part is that he’s gonna eat you up at decorating it too
you’ll see him make a cute flower on his cake using the cream and you’re like “how did you do that :( how dare you be better than me :(”
and he’s gonna giggle nervously and his face is gonna turn a light shade of red while he helped you out
“i’m not better than you, we’re equally good.” and then he compares your cakes together and the only reason why yours looks ok is because he helped you for the most part
if you genuinely feel a little gloomy that yours looked bad he would purposely mess up on the rest of his cake
because eunseok will never be caught dead leaving his beloved partner unhappy, no matter how small the issue might be
i feel like he would notice those little shift of emotions that you have that even you barely notice
and he’d do his best to cheer you up because you’re just his everything </3
after the cakes are done he takes 282629 pictures of you and your cake and then he’d probably say things like “keep posing, you’re so pretty”
i think most of his dates would involve domestic things like that
if you don’t live together he’d crash to your house, help you deep clean the entire house and he considers that a date too
a little bit more low maintenance when it comes to relationships if that makes sense
also i think he’s not very clingy but he LOVESSS a clingy partner even if he doesn’t verbally say or show it
he’s always have a light blush on his face whenever you just cling on him
so please cling onto him as much as possible
JUNG SUNGCHAN ༄
just a feeling… but
gym dates 😭
and he’s so cheesy about it okay like at first you’re reluctant because the thought of going to a gym scares you
but then the first time you go there and he’s like so touchy with you in a good way
purposely standing so close to you while he helps you out with the equipments
maybe at one point he’s even like “yeah just do it like that.” while helping you out with the weights and then giving you a kiss on the cheek
which catches you off guard you almost dropped the weights but he was holding it with you so you’re good
when you blush he would let out a flustered giggle and won’t comment on it
and then you make it even worse by saying something like “i’m just flushed from the workout” and he’s like “sure babe”
would always be close to you just in case you’re caught underneath the weight and you can’t lift it up anymore
at the end of the date you’re like “i can’t move my legs” and then he just carries you
takes you out to eat something sweet afterwards
he’s going to be all smiley the whole time too
at the end he’s like “didn’t i tell you it would be fun? do you wanna go to the gym with me again next week?”
if you say no he’s not gonna sulk and punch the wall or something he’s just gonna be like “aww that’s alright too.” and then kiss your head
then he would say something like “you were incredible on your first try though, i’m proud of you.”
clenches fist i want him so bad…
PARK WONBIN ༄
i swear wonbin’s a little weird
like have you seen his tiktoks… something’s strange about that man
i think he stated before that he loves shopping so you KNOW what that means
always send you vids he sees on the internet about some new shop opening up in hongdae or something and he’s like “let’s go bae”
sends you the weirdest tiktoks and is like “you”
and then you’re like “wonbin what”
and he won’t elaborate
sends you his fit checks
if you don’t approve he will actually sulk i’m not kidding
sometimes when he’s bored he’d write a song for you
like not a singing song but a musical one from his guitar if that makes sense
he loves matching with you. matching earrings, matching clothes, matching beanies.
ohh i feel like he’d also do those cute couple videos on tiktok like you know he would slow dance with you in the snow and post it for everyone to see this man LOVES soft launching you
his soft launches are also by no means him trying to hide you or keep you a secret, it’s more like… he just likes to have a mysterious vibe to his online person 😍
also i think he loves leaving kisses on your neck whenever you snuggle up to watch a movie or something
like you’re talking to him while you’re on his lap and he’s just like “mhm, and then what?” and then he gives you kisses down your jaw and neck
he’s all over you PLEASE no matter in public or private and it’s even worse (or better 😜) in private too
HONG SEUNGHAN ༄
definitely a gamer bf
dates with him involves him going out to see the sun for the first time that week ❤️
i’m just kidding but your dates probably involves a lot of going out because you feel like this man NEEDS to get some sunlight
also one of the guys that enjoys PDA
he wins the idgaf war he would kiss you at any point of time if he suddenly feels like it
you can just be talking like straight up gossiping about something that happened between your aunt and a scammer and he would just…
he would just grabbed the sides of your face and plant the deepest kiss ever
and then you’re all flustered and he would burst into laughter
he’s the biggest flirt ever he has this one stare that would leave you WEAK in the knees
definitely has a habit of staring at your lips when you talk which makes you SOOO nervous
plays with your hands or hair while you talk
just a thought but he’d definitely run his thumb over your lower lip after he kissed it WOAH
calls you with the most generic pet names but god it makes you run LAPS
also when you come over his house he’d make you pull for him on that FIFA game idk how the game works but i hope you get what i’m trying to say
LEE SOHEE ༄
AH i feel like him as a bf is so fun
he looks like so much fun from the instagram/tiktok posts tbh
the most normal boyfriend ever help idk how to explain it
sends you pictures of him at work with captions like “fighting my hardest battle (i’m at the work i willingly applied for)
various dates
he doesn’t always suggest ideas for dates but he goes ALL out for you when you suggest them
you want to watch the sunset? best believe he’ll take you to the prettiest beach he could find for you to enjoy
you want to have a movie date? he’s gonna set up the projector at his house HIMSELF
i don’t think he’s very keen on kissing in public but he has no problem holding you close to him
holds your hand, holds you by your waist, EVERYTHING
takes 0.5x pictures of you from your forehead
he has a picture of the two of you completing a heart drawn on your cheeks as his lockscreen
always yapping about you like
“my lover made me this lunch”
“my lover gave me this for my birthday”
“my lover tied my tie for me today”
his favourite type of dates are karaoke dates sorry like this man is beyonce’s son he’s GOING to use that godsent vocals of his
also i feel like anniversary celebrations are so grand with him his love for you is so genuine he wants to give you the world and more
i want him so bad… he’s my goat
ANTON LEE ༄
dates are SOPHISTICATED
he’s bred in BOSTON you know he goes crazy with that shit
make you dress up fancy in silk and satin and stuff everyone once in a while to take you to a fine dining i’m so serious
takes you on concert dates too
like… mitski or laufey or niki zenfaya concert dates
he would lift you up on his shoulders during these concerts so you would see clearly
also likes backhugging you
he’s so soft spoken so you don’t have the heart to ever start any arguments with him
when he was a swimmer he’d give you those vip pass or something (idk how dating an athlete works oops)
after his competition finish and he’s still wet from the water and its just covered by his towel and swim attire, he would go up to you with a flushed face and would ask you if he looked cool or not
i think he’s the type to enjoy talking to you most of the time during dates or just like an everyday occurrence
like he loves staring into your eyes as you speak he loves you so much but he’s too shy to tell you that so often
he’s not the type to just blurt out “i love you” but you can just tell that his feelings for you are true from the way he stares at you
would let you decorate his hair with your hairclips and would wear them out for the rest of the day
he’s soooo smitten by you it’s crazy
#riize#riize wonbin#riize anton#riize x reader#riize au#riize drabble#riize imagines#riize scenarios#anton x reader#riize anton x reader#anton lee#sohee x reader#sungchan x reader#shotaro x reader#wonbin x reader#seunghan x reader#eunseok x reader#riize shotaro#riize drabbles#riize headcanons
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James Somerton's "A Measured Response": A Measured Response
so I watched a reupload of the video because idk i like to torture myself. and i took a bunch of notes:
“I tried to be a voice for every member of the queer community, but that was a failed endeavour before it even started.”
what a strange way to say ‘I tried making it seem like I’m the only queer creator and stole from and actively harmed people in the queer community. knowingly. purposefully. and when I was called out in the past I tried to hide it.'
“I'm a cis, white, gay man. No matter how much I try to be a good spokesperson, I can never really, truly, understand the life experiences of other, far more put upon, members of the queer community.”
so of course I stole and hid work from the people I can't understand, gutting it of their personal experiences and refused to redirect my audience to those people so that they can enrich themselves and hear about issues pertaining them from someone who actually does understand.
“...one of the reasons I used their own words. But I should have made it clear that that was what I was doing.”
BITCH YOU STOLE. YOU GUTTED THEIR STORIES OF MEANINGFUL PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. YOU WEREN'T USING THEIR WORDS TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND YOU WERE MILKING THEM FOR CONTENT AND DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF ACTUAL, SOULFUL, MEANINGFUL ARTICLES AND BOOKS AND DOCUMENTARIES AND VIDEOS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING INSTEAD.
“Being a cis white man I thought I might win over some people who otherwise wouldn't listen.”
Yeah sure. Because racist transphobes are going to be watching your badly plagiarised gay film analysis.
“I would also like to apologise to Jessie Gender, who is one of the kindest people I ever met. Through my hot-headedness, I drew her into this anger spiral.”
‘through my hotheadedness.’. shirking responsibility onto an ‘ingrained personality trait of yours’ I see.
if you are so honestly sorry for being an asshole to Jessie why don't you fucking apologise to her directly? privately? not as a way to boost your own fucking image??
he's trying to earn good will by complimenting Jessie Gender “oh he knows to compliment an awesome person we have that in common I guess he can't be so bad after all” fuck you I recognise your strategies and it's gross to drag Jessie into this like that, she spoke out against you and you are trying to imply some sort of friendship or something between you. okay I cannot UNDERSTATE the way he tries to make it seem like they are close in some way and sort of drag her onto his side that's so fucking despicable. as far as I know Jessie Gender does not have a relationship with him of any kind?
once again bringing up death threats I see. obviously death threats are shite and anyone who threatens the dude in seriousness or harasses him will not see the light of heaven as Hbomberguy said but IN AN APOLOGY YOU DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU THAT'S MANIPULATION
also blaming the police for not clarifying a situation in a timely manner - the police are a flaming pile of garbage and I hope the institution explodes but NOT SAYING ANYTHING WAS YOUR CHOICE. THE POLICE DIDN'T MAKE YOU DO SHIT THERE
the problem isn't that you tried to “create a channel where all queer people could be safe”, the problem is that 1) you are a misogynist 2) you yourself engaged in transphobic behaviour and 3) you also actively supressed queer people's voices. The problem isn't that you supposedly wanted a space for all queer people, the problem is that you tried to MONOPOLISE queer literature analysis. fuck, queer doesn't look like a word anymore I've written it too many times now
(paraphrased) “I should have been helping with making queer people's voices discoverable” this makes it seem like he just didn't do anything and not like the reality that he was actively trying to rewrite history and bury LQBTQIA+ voices under his steaming pile of garbage
also BLAMING YOUTUBE AND THE ALGORITHM FOR ‘PUSHING HIM’ because he's cis and white, like maybe they did, I certainly wouldn't be surprised, but that is not why other creators suffered, a large part of that can be attributed to James Somerton stealing their work without any acknowledgement whatsoever apart maybe if they are lucky, a “based on” in the credits or their name flashing on screen for half a second.
“I should have done more to share the voices of other queer people” THAT IMPLIES YOU DID SOMETHING. YOU WERE ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST THAT YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT-
“it was just my dweam to be a youtubew and when my videos gained twaction i felt pwessuwed to make mowe vewy quickly and that's why they wewe so shit uwu” fuck off you weren't pressured into shit you just wanted to make money and that's why you were a content mill
“early on I thought that crediting authors in the opening credits alone was enough” what about the times YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT??? YOU'RE MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE THE DRAMA IS ABOUT YOU CREDITING PEOPLE WRONG WHEN ITS ABOUT YOUR SYSTEMATIC THEFT AND OPPRESSION OF THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE VIDEOS FOR AND ABOUT AND THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE A SAFE SPACE FOR. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WATCHES YOUR VIDEOS?? WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY IT DOWN
not him using Hbomberguy's example of the DEEP CUTS: SOCIETY AND QUEER HORROR video and claiming he credited all people in the opening scene when Hbomberguy highlighted he DIDNT EVEN CREDIT MOST OF THEM FUCK OFF ARE YOU DELUSIONAL HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS
I think I'm going insane this all seems so blatantly fake. he brings up the evil queens video and how he asked Sean Griffin, retroactively, permission to include his work in the video. and he shows a ‘screenshot’ of an email Griffin allegedly wrote to thank him for putting him in the title-card and that he thinks it is ‘a very thoughtful video’. only the text of the email header, such as Griffin's name, the RE:, and the To: is a lot smaller than the ‘text’ in the email, which leads me to believe that the below text is edited in some way. And with how hard James is trying to rewrite history, it wouldn't surprise me if he literally rewrote the email or cut things out to present himself in a more positive light. obviously I can't prove that the email is fake but I'll just say that I think the likelihood is very high that it is.
the way he says this also implies that he asked for permission after he made the video but hadn't published it yet. which is also blatantly false.
again trying to waltz off responsibility on nick, saying he was much more interested in production and implying that nick did all the writing .
“nick and I had both grown up poor so when I lost my job in 2021 (approx.) we of course were desperate and turned to producing videos even quicker and plagiarising the fuck out of all of them! but we can't help it we were both poor as kids!” fuck off, you weren't poor when plagiarising every-fucking-thing, this was in “the second year of COVID”. obviously if they really did grow up poor that sucks, and that's why we should eat the rich and redistribute their money. not plagiarise people who partly are poor or not financially cushy and manipulate thousands of people into believing you are the only queer creator.
also milking his mom's cancer. if you were really that worried about your financial situation, one would think that you would get an actual job for security and not put everything into your youtube career that is unstable, especially considering you've already done a lot of plagiarism and have no intention of stopping. “oh I plagiarised because my mom had cancer QAQ” that is so digusting to use a person's medical condition like that.
“i have memory issues because of a head injury i suffered as a child and that's why I plagiarise badly. see, I copy pasted the text with the intention to rephrase it later but forgot.” that would still be fucking plagiarism if he'd done that, also, if he's so aware of his memory issues and how they lead to him plagiarising, why didn't he try to work around that? leave himself notes? or tell nick to remind him to integrate actual proper credit and citations before uploading a video? mark the plagiarised stuff in the document with like highlighter or so when you're pasting it in?? oh but he didn't do all of that because he has ADHD. now, ADHD can be debilitating, but he says it's recently diagnosed so it must not have caused a lot of problems for him so far, so it's probably not severe and even if it is, it doesn't excuse him not crediting people properly. stop fucking hiding behind things ‘you can’t change' because if you truly can't you probably shouldn't be doing this in the first place.
“my mom really wanted me to make a movie with her life insurance but that wasn't paid out so I decided to crowdfund it. i planned to underpay the actors so hard it was under union wages. we got more money than we were expecting and upgraded to wanting to film a feature (final girl) but i didn't want to start working on it until the campaign was over for some reason that totally isn't me just wanting to exploit people for money!”
I'm not gonna go into the Telos stuff but he tries to explain it by claiming it was very unorganised and that's why they constantly ran into issues and that's why nothing ever got done and they were JUST about to start doing stuff when the Hbomberguy video released. You know what, I can believe it, although I am very doubtful considering all James ever does is lie. Idk.
once again trying to excuse his plagiarism with needing to pay two rents and thus needing to make more videos for more sponsors and not having the time to not plagiarise like please. i don't believe that they were in that dire need of money and if they were - just get a fucking stable job and put youtube on the backburner.
also once again trying to make it all about him by once again talking about his suicide attempt and death threats. like. no one should suffer through that kind of mental anguish but honestly I cannot bring myself to feel sympathy for this man. and i see this as an attempt to gather pity points.
“nick worked very hard on these videos other three years and it's unfair to [them] (james says that they're non-binary but doesn't indicate their pronouns anywhere? and in the beginning he uses they/them but later only he/him so idk what their pronouns are but it seems like they/them is at least part of their pronouns so i'm just going to use that) that they all got taken down” well y'all shouldn't have fucking plagiarised then. let this be a lesson maybe and don't fucking show your face on youtube again!
he is fucking relaunching his channel. like james. this isn't something you come back from. no one will ever be able to trust you ever again and you don't deserve an audience. he claims all the revenue will go to Hbomberguy's fund but we have no way to verify this. we have no way to know just how much he makes and how much of that is actually going to the fund. i don't trust him with any money. which is why i watched a reupload rather than the original. he's also releasing a new video he claims is entirely by him. like?????? don't???????
he also might not relaunch his existing patreon but he's still making a new one.
he claims he will “work his ass off” to make non-plagiarised videos. like that isn't “working your ass off” that's the bare fucking minimum. I really want to trust him. and I want to believe he'll actually try to do better. and maybe he will. and i believe in second chances, even for someone as despicable as him. but throughout this video he has continuously tried to play down what he did. tried to make excuses for everything. and that's why i am not going to give him a second chance. if he can't even admit what he did i don't trust him to not do it again. and i also just plainly don't want to endorse a person making such arguments.
also, he plugs his fucking new patreon right after this.
“this video is not about me promoting myself. it's about me apologising.” the only fucking person you actually ‘apologised’ to is Jessie Gender.
James Somerton: makes a billion fucking excuses. Also James Somerton: “These are not excuses. There is no excuse for what I did.”
this entire video was just a publicity stunt. he tries to humanise himself and repair his image. this is just a tool to be able to continue on and continue making money.
he also still claims the disney video was based on the Celluloid Closet and he credited the author and ignores that this wasn't the only author he fucking plagiarised in that video. he is trying to reduce his plagiarsm to incorrect crediting and mistakes and that is disgusting.
the least he could have done was mention by name out loud every author he plagiarised and what work he plagiarised. not just say “uuuh i'm sorry to everyone I plagiarised QAQ”
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something real
words: 13,045
ship: austin butler x female reader
rating: SFW except for one explicit scene
summary: i took inspo from a request about fake!dating for a wedding and from another film with a similar premise. what else do you do when your ex is getting married? hire a fake date
notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist
warnings: none, but check the rating.
tag list: @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan, @stylespresleyhearted,
“You’re losing it.”
A short laugh escapes your lips because god, maybe you are. This all started out easily enough—you needed a date for your ex’s wedding. Right, the fact that you were even invited kind of drives you crazy. It’s not like you didn’t have a good relationship with Todd, you did? But it also doesn’t change the fact how things ended—he ‘meant’ to break things off with you but started seeing someone at the same time. Claire. The girl he’s marrying. But you’re not about to go through life with grudges and anger when you can just let things go.
Which is why you’ve entertained this wedding invitation in the first place?
But to go alone? That’s a fate worse than death.
Which, ironically, is exactly what your friend, Jill, is telling you you’re going to be with this idea you’ve come up with.
“It’s all perfectly safe.” You mutter, sliding onto a bar stool and turning to look at her. You’re wearing a light blue dress, pair of booties, and jean jacket. Just casual enough but also hinting you’ve got a figure to show off if you really wanted to.
She scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they end up on 60 Minutes.”
You can’t help but smile, tugging the file out of your course before setting it on the bar top. “Do you want me to explain it again?”
Jill puts her hands on her hips—as if that will somehow make her comfortable with all of this, but she’s not protesting either. So you open up the file and—
“So my neighbor’s used this service before to go to her high school reunion, you know, so she didn’t end up there alone. She went onto their online platform, filled out a survey and bam, she was matched with someone to go.”
Jill narrows her eyes, “For twenty thousand dollars.”
“Well it’s not charity,” You throw back, “I’ve done the research, there’s a ton of reviews—all positive. It’s not like it’s about sex or anything, it’s just…companionship for one event.”
Jill looks at the file, crinkling her nose, “There’s so many other ways you could have done this—Rick, the guy in 6B? He’s always thought you were cute.”
You laugh a little, “If I go out with Rick, there is a good chance I’ll end up missing some limbs—dude is creepy, Jill.”
Her friend rolls her eyes but it’s fond, opening up the file and pointing to a blank spot where this guy’s photo should be, “Okay, but you don’t even get to know what he looks like?”
“I think it was my Wi-Fi,” You state honestly, “Some of the images weren’t loading. But that’s why you’re here,” You grin, “Safety measures. So—” You gently push on one of her hips, “Go find a table, order a drink while I wait for Austin.”
“That’s the gigolo’s name?”
“Wedding date,” You correct, shooing her away until she heads to a table.
Taking a breath, you look at the reflective surface of the bar mirror in front of you, mentally praying that this somehow not a huge mistake and order a drink.
--
Chewing on the drunken cherry in your Manhattan, you glance down the bar as you see someone handsome talking to a small group of women. You wonder if that’s Austin, looking for you—he’s about ten minutes late. Your stomach clenches anxiously, knowing that maybe Jill was right and this is utterly ridiculous. But…you got invited to the wedding late (either it was a last-minute thought or it got lost in the mail) but there was no way you could organically find someone to ask.
Sure, you could have brought Jill or some other friend but…deep down? You know this is about making Todd feel utterly stupid for cheating on you, for leaving you for someone else. You don’t want him back, of course, but that feeling of satisfaction? That look on his face when he sees you with someone else? You want it.
You can’t not go and you can’t find someone random in your life already to go with…so when your neighbor mentioned this quick fix? How could you not look into it? You’ve got a ton of money saved from over the years, not to mention a small investment your grandfather put in your name. What’s the harm in looking into this, right?
“Y/N?”
Turning on the bar stool, you nearly swallow your own tongue as you’re met face to face with who you assume is Austin. And joke’s on you because he’s ten times more beautiful than the other guy at the bar you saw talking to those women. He’s tall, lean, in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket. Easily handsome, like…James Dean or Elvis Presley. Doesn’t have to try very hard.
And suddenly something hysterical crawls up your throat as he takes a seat next to you, introduces himself as Austin, and apologizes for being late because of traffic because—
“I’m sorry—” You interrupt, shaking your head, “This uh, this isn’t going to work.”
His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his mouth opening and closing, “Excuse me?”
“You’re,” You laugh lightly, cheeks heating up. There’s this sickly sensation gripping your stomach, telling you to run, “No one is going to believe that we’re dating.”
And maybe that’s something oddly pathetic you shouldn’t have uttered outloud because what’s even worse, Austin seems to grip what you’re saying and his features soften. You do not want pity or sympathy, you’re just…stating a fact.
Austin takes in a soft breath and looks towards the bartender, ordering himself a beer, confusing you a little because you expected him to just…take off. There’s no money involved at this point, it’s a clean break. This meeting is just to discuss details.
“I think you’re underestimating yourself,” He states gently, eyes sweeping over your form. And god, he’s good, isn’t he? You suppose this is his job, making women feel good. Confident. Even though it’s all a lie.
Letting out a breath as his drink is set down on the bar, you figure there’s no harm in…talking with him, right? He came all this way; you can at least wait until he finishes his beer to turn him down. You’ll just go to this damn wedding alone—it’s really not that big of a deal, right?
Austin takes off his leather jacket, hanging it up on a hook underneath the bar and he smells amazing—some sort of cologne that’s fresh and almost citrusy. You run a hand through your hair and order another Manhattan.
“So your request said a wedding?”
“My ex,” You clarify, “And I don’t want him back, or anything, I just want him to feel like an idiot.”
Austin smiles a little, humming— “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. I’m assumin’ he already is one.”
A small laugh stutters forward in your chest because yes, he is. Your shoulders start to relax just a little because maybe Austin gets it. By not going or going alone you…you don’t want Todd to think that he’s somehow gotten one over you, that you’re lonely or broken ever since you’ve separated.
“Have you…done weddings before?”
He shifts a little on the barstool so that he’s facing you a little easier, “I’ve done weddings the most,” He admits, “Two high school reunions, one funeral.”
You raise your eyebrows, setting your drink down on the bar. “A funeral?”
Austin shrugs lightly, “Some women just want a hand to hold on their hardest day, a shoulder to cry on. Someone to talk to.” He licks his lips, taking a sip of his beer, “I’m not one to judge.”
You straighten your shoulders and…you suppose you’re really not in a position to do that either, given you’re here to hire Austin so you feel less alone and pathetic at a wedding. You take a long look at him for a moment, —curious. He doesn’t want to be doing anything else?
“Can I ask—why are you doing this?” Your fingers trace shapes into the condensation on your glass. “This whole fake-date program?”
Austin clears his throat, “You can ask me whatever you want,” He starts and that within itself seems like a dangerous proposition. “I work at this café near here but uh, it doesn’t exactly bring a lot of money in. I want to be an actor, like…a serious one, the money I get from these dates I’m savin’ up to go to L.A.”
And he essentially gets to pretend to be someone he’s not. Like an endless list of auditions.
There are other things you want to ask, other questions stuck in your throat about doing weddings. Why weddings? The whole concept seems like a bad idea—a high school reunion, a holiday party, even a funeral makes more sense, doesn’t it?
Those aren’t emotionally connected events, there’s no…opportunities to fall into something deeper than what the contract of attachment allows. But weddings? It’s about love and finding your person and…going to one with someone else feels like such a slippery slope.
Or maybe it doesn’t because Austin is a professional.
“So if I…if we do this, what does it entail, exactly?” You take another sip of your drink, as if you need the liquid courage for his response.
A small smile graces his handsome face again, “Don’t overthink it. It’s whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with.”
You feel like there’s this heat uncoiling in your belly even though he’s not suggesting anything. Somehow, it’s in the ocean blue of his eyes—a depth there. You clear your throat, “You mean uh—if I require a dance partner? Because I love to dance at weddings…usually badly.”
Austin laughs warmly but shakes his head. “I meant if I was goin’ as your date or a boyfriend.”
And oh, of course, you hadn’t even thought about it but of course Austin would want a more specific role to sink his teeth into and your mind spins about what you want to do. It’s just one night, one silly wedding, there’s no long con here. It’s not like Todd will even care who you show up with, right? You’re the one who wants to feel less lonely—
And yet—
“You can think about it, if you need to—”
“Boyfriend.” You say, cutting him off. Heat returns to your cheeks…mise well go big or go home, right? If you’re going to do this? This has got to be a bad idea, right?
“Okay,” Austin smiles, “Good.”
So it’s settled that he’ll meet you at your place beforehand, you’ll iron out details of your relationship in case anyone asks and then you’ll go to the wedding together.
Austin stands and he tosses some cash on the bar counter (enough to cover your drink as well) and he hovers for a moment, tugging on his leather jacket. “My number’s in the file, in case you need it.”
Then there’s a moment where Austin watches you, fixing the lapels of his jacket. His one hand then rests on the bar, taking a step closer to you, and the way that you’re seated, your legs open just slightly to accommodate his body in your space.
“Don’t hit me, alright?” He smiles a little, leaning down, and honestly you’re the one that feels like you’re getting sucker punched in the stomach. Air right out of your lungs. “It was nice meeting you.”
You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry as your eyes flutter to his lips, “Yeah, you too.”
There’s more than enough time for you to pull away, but you don’t, so he kisses you.
It’s nothing obscene, but slow and gentle. Warm. Just enough to make your heart pound against your ribcage, electricity singing in your veins. You suppose it’s something you should get used to if Austin is going to pass as your boyfriend.
You raise your eyebrows a little as he pulls away, hot under the collar of your jean jacket.
“Figure we’d just get that out of the way so you could concentrate.” He teases and god, your mind is spinning. You kinda hate that he’s made you feel like this so easily, like somehow it’s second nature.
“What, that doesn’t cost extra?” You manage to throw out there, finding your voice.
Austin grins, another soft laugh rumbling in his chest. “I’ll see you soon.”
You let out a slow breath, running a hand over your hair as you watch him walk out of the bar before downing the rest of your drink.
“So that’s your date, huh?” Jill asks as she comes up behind you—honestly her voice kinda sounds like cotton in your ears. “Todd is gonna swallow his own tongue.”
And you can’t help but grin.
You meet one more time before the wedding, just…something to solidify that you do, in fact, know what you’re doing. But also to get a bit more comfortable around Austin and the fact that he’s going to be your boyfriend. You let out a slow breath, aggravated by how crazy that sounds. Maybe Jill’s right, maybe this is a bad idea (despite how handsome and charming Austin is).
He’s picked you up to go somewhere but won’t tell you where. And when the engine turns off, you undo your seatbelt and look out the windshield, “A custard house?”
“Was hopin’ you could go for somethin’ sweet,” Austin smiles a little, “They make these waffle custard sandwiches that’ll change your life.”
You hum lightly and start to get out of the car, a little confused because…well, you’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. “We’re here for ice cream sandwiches?”
Austin scrunches his nose in mock offense at her flippant description, “No, we’re here for waffle custard. You need to work on listenin’, come on.” He gets out of the car too and locks the doors.
You know you’re about to paying Austin a decent amount of money to be your stand-in date, your fake boyfriend, dragging him to this wedding for god knows what reasons make sense in your head but…you suppose you didn’t count on him being like this. A tiny bit thoughtful, sweet, funny even.
Or maybe he’s already a decent actor.
You follow him to the counter, your eyes trailing over at least thirty different custard flavors—not only that, but there’s twice as many toppings. How are you supposed to choose?
“You know what you want already?” You ask as Austin rolls up the sleeves of his jean jacket a little.
“I always know what I want.” He leans on the counter, turning towards the woman at the register to order French vanilla—but stops when you make a noise. He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Somethin’ you wanna share?”
You purse your lips and rocks back onto your heels, shaking your head, “No I just…vanilla, really? You don’t seem like the type.” She teases.
Austin smirks, straightening his back. “Oh, huh.” He motions to the large display menu. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby. What should I order?”
You let the pet name slide (and it does, like heated molasses right down in your veins), which is probably a dangerous slippery slope, but you’re too busy trying to take in a custard selection at the moment to care. You chew on your lower lip, slipping through the flavors written in chalk on the board and decides to go with your favorite pairing—
“He’ll have chocolate and strawberry custard in that waffle sandwich thing with…” You hum, “Caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles.” You smile, clearly happy with your selection before ordering the same for yourself…except you also get chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
Because why the hell not?
“You’re gonna have that all over you before the night is over.” Austin motions to the dripping mess in your hands, carefully shelled between fresh waffles wrapped up in foil.
You slide yourself onto the hood of Austin’s car, almost sliding back down but managing to lean against the windshield before losing your custard sandwich.
“Challenge accepted.”
Austin smiles a little, sitting down next to you, looking far too handsome sprawled out on his car.
You realize that everything between you both is so dangerous, wrapped in gentle dynamite, the softest breath or touch capable of explosion. But it’s also tantalizing in a way that excites you—Austin is different, gentle but rough with the walls he keeps up.
Everything about this is a lie –circles in your head, over and over, trying to remind you not to take anything too seriously. And yet? You bury it deep with a bite of your custard sandwich. You moan softly and lick chocolate off your lips because Jesus, this is incredible.
Austin smirks, licking custard between the waffle before he takes a bite of his own. “Told you it was worth the stop.”
“I’m not going to admit you somehow know all just because you have decent taste in custard.” You smile and takes another bite of your waffle sandwich, leaning back to watch cars drive by.
“Give it time.” Austin glances over and you can feel his gaze, always like a magnet tracing the curves of your body. You want to tell him that you enjoy when he looks at you like that, to be felt and seen all at the same time, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
You wonder if he looks at every woman who’s ever paid him like that.
You’re not sure you want to know.
You turn and meet his gaze, holding it for a moment before a small smile graces your lips. “Do you really work at a café?”
He nods, leaning further up against the windshield. “It’s called Mug Half Full; been there about three years.” He licks his lips, pulling a napkin from his pants pocket and wiping his chin where he feels caramel sticking. “What do you do? You didn’t mention it in your email.”
You swallow down a bought of self-loathing at the question and decide to take another bite of your sandwich; sweet hiding sour. “I uh, I’m kinda in-between jobs at the moment.” You know Austin has to be able to see through that terrible excuse of an answer. “I’m currently getting an online degree in education.”
Austin finishes his custard waffle, which is admirable because yours is two seconds away from becoming soup in your hands. You lick at the sides as he crumples up a napkin and puts his trash in a can nearby so it’s not in either of your way.
“What do you want to do?”
The question shouldn’t offend you as much as it does, the want and need to defend yourself raising your hackles a bit. You bite down on reacting too sorely; he’s just asking a question—and you realize you haven’t given him a reason not to ask something like that. Your bland response is what prompts the statement.
You suppose you’re just…too used to people asking that, especially since society makes you feel like you somehow got a late start in figuring things out. In reality, it’s never too early or too late to be whoever you want. You’re just…getting to that.
You clear your throat, setting your custard sandwich down on your lap a moment, the foil protecting your clothes. “I have no idea,” You admit with a soft laugh, “My relationship with my ex kinda took all my energy—supporting whatever he needed, you know? Now I’m just starting to figure myself out.” And you’re proud of that progress, even though it feels like pushing a boulder up a hill sometimes. “I might teach maybe, one day.”
He holds your gaze for a moment, slight amusement dancing in the corners of his eyes. He smiles gently, looking down at your hands before he picks up your sandwich and licks whipped cream off the corner. Ridiculously obscene and unnecessary but you let him do it anyways.
You have apparently become accustomed to sharing things—you’ve noticed that he continues the ruse of soft touches and intimate gestures when no one’s watching. You think it’s to help solidify the fact that you’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be into one another. Which isn’t very hard when he does things like that with his tongue.
Austin tosses your trash like he did with his own before turning to look at you, handing you a napkin to wipe your hands off. “I could tell you wanted more. And you know, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”
Then why does it feel so guilty for you to admit— “Sometimes it feels selfish, to want things for myself.” You swallow, letting it sink into the air. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even your best friend or your parents.
“Sounds like someone really selfish made you feel that way.” He says gently and it’s like…wool has been taken off your eyes. Something you maybe knew but needed to hear.
It’s not what you expect him to say, not in the slightest, but it warms you from the inside out either way. You nod because yes, you’ve never thought about it like that but yes, that’s it exactly. Realizing that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do—knowing yourself and that you deserve to want, that it’s normal, even.
Austin hums softly, moving to slip off the car. You swing your legs around and when he offers you his hand, you take it to slide off as well.
How easy it would be to lean up and kiss him, how he’d probably taste like hints of chocolate and strawberry. You wait for him to let you go, for his hand to stop holding yours. But he doesn’t.
You lick your own lips, your eyes looking to his lower one, how it pouts out gently when he looks at you—and you decide to stop waiting for things you want. If you’re going to pay for his company, you might as well enjoy it.
You press your lips into his own, capturing something sweet, lips moving together like you both were always made to kiss. Austin’s one hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing your hair back around your ear before eventually pulling back. You’re breathing a little shakily, your noses brushing, Austin taking his time to trace your cheekbone with his lips before he opens up the car door for you.
“You’re not charging me extra for the gentleman treatment, are you?” Or for the kisses I keep stealing?
Austin smiles, a soft laugh leaving his throat as he waits for you to put your seatbelt on. “Not yet.” And closes the door with a wink.
--
You think about canceling six times between when you wake up on the day of the wedding to the moment you slide your dress over your head. You’ve told yourself that this was and continues to be a terrible idea and if you hadn’t paid him half up front through a cash app, you’d have the nerve to tell him never mind. Kisses and all, you really feel like you’re starting to lose your damn mind.
Though you know even if you told Austin to forget the whole thing, you still have to go to this wedding. (You could probably skip it no big deal, but the last thing you want is Todd to assume you’re bothered either). Canceling now would definitely mean going alone and you can’t stomach it, not when you feel like all of your insides are already in knots.
You smooth your hands down the front of your dress as you hear the doorbell, taking the steps downstairs carefully in your gold heels. You’ve settled for a navy-blue number that shows just enough cleavage and is ruffled at your middle, hugging curves and kissing your skin beautifully. You feel confident and comfortable, which is important for a long night.
You sigh, glancing at your front door for a moment before turning the knob and opening up to see Austin. He’s standing in a suit, beautifully polished, hair perfectly coifed on his head. A navy button-down underneath a gray suit jacket, tie to match with a red spidery design that reminds you of tree branches in the winter.
A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows because, “Why are you shakin’ your head?” He asks as he steps over the threshold and you close the door.
��I just naturally assumed you were going to show up in black. Black in your profile picture that finally loaded, black at the bar… I thought that was the only shade you owned.”
He runs a hand lightly over his chest. “Grays in the same shade family.” He’s joking but you’re not laughing and finally he just throws his hands up a little, “What’s the big deal?”
“Because we match.”
Austin looks down at himself and pauses, doesn’t get it, gives you a look that makes you feel a little crazy. “That a bad thing?”
“It’s—” No, it’s not exactly a terrible idea but it somehow digs under your skin because you want today to be perfect and Austin is supposed to be your boyfriend and you can’t be that couple that goes all matchy-matchy to events, right?
What are the odds that he shows up in something that is the exact same color as your damn dress?
“It’s too perfect, it’s not believable.” You say and he raises his eyebrows because that does not make one lick of sense. He takes a step towards you and you mirror one back, shaking your head.
Austin lets out a slow breath because you’re nitpicking and it annoys him, a flare of impatience decorating his handsome face. “Well I don’t exactly got another suit in my back pocket and we’re already late.”
You narrows your eyes, “Just…follow me. I’ll change.”
You’re up the stairs and in your bedroom before you realize what you’ve said, Austin slipping in behind you and looking around the room, drinking you in with permission you’ve accidently given him. You turn suddenly and slip off your heels, pressing one hand to his chest to stop him.
“Don’t move.”
He smiles a little and nods his head, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watches you slide into your walk-in closet to change. You sigh softly and run a hand over your forehead before you take a moment to unzip your dress and glance at your options.
“A lot of beige.”
You roll your eyes and pull out a black dress, quickly pulling it on and kicking your navy blue one to the side before stepping out of your closet. You don’t bother to zip it up until you make sure it’s the right one.
Austin has dutifully not moved from the spot on the carpet where you’ve left him and he scrunches his nose at your dress, “You goin’ to a wake?”
“What’s wrong with beige?” You glance around your bedroom; at the little accents you’ve added that have color to them. Some shades of coffee colored brown and touches of teal here and there. It’s minimalist but tasteful.
“It’s just not what I pictured.”
“You pictured my bedroom?” You ask, but the corners of your mouth pull slightly as you put your hands on your hips.
Austin tilts his head at you, eyes traveling over your body in an unashamed way. “Maybe.” He pauses for a moment to let that sink into your pores. “You don’t seem like a beige. Also, no to that dress. I can maybe get you not wantin’ to match completely but that doesn’t line up with what I got on at all.”
You nod and turn to go back into your closet, pulling the dress off and standing far too long in your underwear trying to decide on a color range. You could go gold…but that feels too flashy, gray is out of the question and so is another navy dress so…
You finger red fabric for a moment that matches the scarlet on Austin’s tie and pull it off the hanger.
“I’m not actually that fond of beige,” You admit over your shoulder as you pull the dress up—it’s a fit and flare that kind of reminds you of the sixties. Something that hugs your waist with a high-neck tanked top and flares out like a wide flame at the bottom. It hits just below your knees and your gold heels will still go nicely with it.
“But the house kinda came this way and…I never took the time to fix it.” You walk out of the closet, pulling your hair free from underneath. “Todd didn’t like bold colors anyways.”
Austin’s eyes descend on you like a cold rush of water, a wave crashing down onto your shores. He stares for what feels like a long time, his hands coming out of his pockets like he wants to touch but can’t—too far away. You smile softly as his gaze sticks, he’s captivated by the dress, and you notice he has to shake his head as you approach to be able to speak to you.
“So I’m guessin’ he’s not gonna like this.” He reaches to touch your waist, fingers pressing warmly into the fabric.
You chew on the inside of your cheek a moment, looking up at him. “Do you like it?”
He smirks gently, pulling on your elbow to turn you around. He doesn’t reply but you feel suddenly naked under his gaze as your bare back is exposed to him. He takes his time finding the zipper and slowly draws it up into place, fixing the little hook at the top. His hands rest against your shoulders and guide down, squeezing your arms before letting you go.
“Get your shoes. We’re already late.”
You let out a long sigh that somehow turns into a pout, making him smile, “We could stay here, you could give more wisecracks about my bedroom decorum.”
Austin smirks and grabs your purse from where it’s seated on the bed as you slip your heels back on. “As amazing as that sounds, that’s not what you’re payin’ me for.”
And the words sound sour, swallowing them down, nodding your head as you leave the bedroom with him.
--
The wedding itself isn’t actually terrible—it’s beautiful in a way that would make any woman envious. Lots of flowers and gold designs and as you watch the entire ceremony take place, you have moments where you wonder why you’re here. Was it really that important for you to show up? And not only that, but pay a date to be here? You keep going back and forth, like a serious game of tug-of-war.
Why did it matter if you showed up alone? Or with Jill?
Austin helps you with your coat, his hand on your lower back as you walk out of the church and towards the reception hall which is being held in this beautiful botanical garden that has rooms you can rent for things like this.
People begin to pile into the building, pausing at the coat check before heading into the reception all, and it’s right there that you suddenly feel like bolting. Truth is? Todd was your boyfriend for years before your breakup (a breakup that might have never happened if you hadn’t realized he was cheating, because clearly he hadn’t taken the initiative until it was too late). And it’s probably so stupid that you remained friends with him, that you were invited to this wedding, that you for some reason care about what he thinks—even now.
But you do.
You should have just moved on and thrown the wedding invitation in the trash but…feelings don’t always come in black and white. You constantly live in a shade of gray.
And you’re worried someone is going to see right through you tonight.
Austin squeezes your hand, getting your attention as you remain grounded by the coat check. He’s patient, waiting until your gaze meets his own. “You’re shakin’.” His other hand covers the one he’s already holding.
You nod your head and offer a smile you don’t feel. “I thought this would be easy. Having you here as a distraction, smiling at all the right times and drinking too much wine in a nice dress,” You shrug your one shoulder, “It doesn’t change how I feel.”
Despite the small amount of privacy the coat check wall provides, you can feel eyes on you two from different parts of the room; people slipping past to get a glass of champagne from the cash bar, fluttering in-between hors d'oeuvres tables and congratulating the couple. Guests who know who you are, who are whispering about you. You can hear Todd a few feet away; big laughs and too loud discussions that tell you he’s a little drunk but genuinely happy.
Or maybe this is all in your head.
“Look, I think you were gonna feel this way no matter if you came alone or with someone.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But you can still do all the other things you mentioned,” Austin leans in, brushes his lips over your cheekbone as he talks, “Drink too much wine in a beautiful dress and smilin’ definitely doesn’t hurt.”
He pulls back and you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him again. To feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, back outside, to his car, away from this place where you feel like you have to be someone you’re not.
Austin grasps your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, waiting until your eyes meets his own again. He leans forward to brush your lips together, gently, more to distract you than anything else because it’s not a kiss.
“Women hire me because they want to feel wanted and if that’s what you need to hear, then fine, I do want you, Y/N.” You let out a breath that sounds too shaky for your own good, your knees slightly buckling. All the other gazes you once felt on you fade away, until it’s only you and Austin in an empty botanical garden.
“But hearin’ that doesn’t matter until you want things for yourself. You want someone to believe in you? You want to feel confident? Wanted?” His hand falls to your waist, “Good enough?”
You swallow thickly, his words reaching something that’s still raw inside of you, that still hurts to think about. You want to pull away, nearly do, but instead surrender to his weight against you. It’s not his fault that he does a better job of reading you than you do looking in a mirror.
“Then it has to come from you first.”
You shake your head as he pulls away, his hand very simply returning to yours as you both move towards the cash bar. “I know you think you know me from a few meetings and a detailed email request. But you don’t.” Your words at least sound stronger than you feel.
Austin looks at you over his shoulder and smiles but says nothing in return.
--
Maybe the problem is, he does know you, even from the simplest interactions. Maybe you’re just not used to being seen. Todd never saw you, even when you gave him so many chances to try. You suppose at that point you need to want to try.
You’re seated at a table that has mostly co-workers and friends and you attempt not to cringe when someone asks you how you know the bride and groom. Austin swoops in and responds that they’re friends, his arm stretched out over the back of your chair. You’re grateful because the words we dated are sitting in your throat like a lump, difficult to swallow over.
The night spins forward, you’re able to avoid the bride and groom for the duration of it, just enjoying food and a little bit too much wine and hanging out with Austin. There are long conversations where you get to know one another, fill one another in about things that are real, beyond the layers of this fake-date situation.
It’s nice, seeing him in that light, getting to know him as if you’d bumped into him at a bar and enjoyed his company.
You almost wish that was the case, instead.
His arm squeezes around your waist as you both dance on the dance floor, his jacket on the back of his chair, dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’re definitely a little tipsy, the room is rose-colored, but all in all? It feels like a crisis has been avoided, you’re actually having a good time.
“Can I get you another glass of wine?” Austin asks, brushing his lips over your forehead, “Maybe some cookies from the dessert table?”
You grin, “You know me so well.” And it’s not a line, somehow, you’ve been craving cookies for the past half hour.
Austin smiles, nods, squeezes your waist and leaves you to do just that. You somehow ache with missing the heat of his body once he’s gone—and that’s how you know you’re slightly in over your head. You have to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—the way Austin talks to you or looks at you, the way his hands travel over your body, the slight brush of his lips against your own.
It's all a lie.
A lie that you paid for.
Running a hand over your forehead, you turn and nearly bump into someone, blinking as you look up and—
“Todd.”
Your ex smiles, “Hey—I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you would.”
Neither was I, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Chewing on your lower lip, you’re struck with being unsure of what to say, scanning the crowd for Austin before clearing your throat, “Uhm, everything has been beautiful.”
Todd smiles, nodding, taking a look around for his bride. “Thank you. Are you uh, here with Jill?”
You open and close your mouth like a goldfish until you feel that familiar arm slide around you. “No this is Austin,” You take the glass of wine and have a hearty sip and it instantly makes your head spin.
Todd clears his throat and even though he’s smiling, it’s clear he’s giving Austin a once-over. He did not expect you to be here with someone. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend that wasn’t Jill.” He kinda laughs, like maybe it’s a joke that you don’t have many other close friends other than her.
But Austin is quick to smile, “Actually, I’m her boyfriend.”
And there it is, the look on Todd’s face that you were after this whole time. It’s quick, gone almost as soon as it appears, but lingers in his eyes. Regret, maybe even jealousy. Even though his wife appears by his side and introductions are exchanged.
Luckily the conversation doesn’t last very long, the bride and groom are swept towards other people, more dancing. Which is good because you’re pretty sure you noticed that the bride couldn’t keep her eyes off of Austin.
What a couple her and Todd make.
Downing the rest of the wine, you set it on the table, letting out a slow breath. Austin keeps his hands firm on your hips and you can’t quite meet his eyes. You’re not quite sure how…this wasn’t what you expected, nor wanted.
Just feels like a big mistake.
“Wanna get out of here?” He asks quietly, seeming to read your mind.
You nod and he keeps his arm around you until you make it outside and reach his car.
--
That last glass of wine did you zero favors and by the time you make it to your front door, you’re dropping your keys instead of sliding them into the lock. Austin smiles a little, picking them up and unlocking everything, pushing the door open. You’ve got a firm hand on his shirt because you’re swaying slightly, almost a little afraid of what might happen if you let go.
What if all of this is one weird dream?
“Where are we going?” You ask as he comes inside, closing the door behind him.
“Water n’bed.” Austin replies as he guides you into the living room.
You scrunch your nose and look to the ceiling, definitely knocking yourself off balance as the room spins. Austin lets out a short grunt as he catches you, steadying you against his chest.
“In that order? That’s so boring.”
He chuckles slightly, guiding you both until he has you in front of the couch, encouraging you to sit. “You got somethin’ else you’d rather do?”
You can’t help but grin at the question, poking at his chest. “I think you know what I’d rather like to do.” It’s like hot lava pouring from your lips, you can’t seem to stop it even though you know you’ll have burns later.
Austin hums under his breath but doesn’t respond, concentrates instead on keeping you on the couch once you’re seated.
“Stay there,” He says when you try to get up, holding onto your shoulders and pressing you gently down. “You good or you gonna slip off?” There’s an amused smile pulling handsomely at his lips as he tilts his head down to look at you, slipping his thumb and forefinger along your chin.
“Good, I’m so good.” You nod, determined to give him responses that make sense. You just wish the room would stop spinning.
Only when he feels like you mean it does he pull away from you. You closes your eyes as your fingers grip the cushion, trying to hold yourself in place. None of this really helps and instead you just end up feeling nauseas, forcing your eyes to open so you can see Austin.
He’s taken his jacket off, tie gone and shirt unbuttoned a bit, and seeing his chest and forearms makes heat unwantedly pool between your legs and you lick your lips, trying to focus on what he has in his hands.
“He…he honestly didn’t think I’d be there with anyone.”
A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows and he pauses, “What?”
You swallow, not sure if your trail of thought makes sense. “Todd. Jerk.” You give as an explanation.
Something passes over Austin’s face but it’s gone as soon as it appears and he crouches in front of you, his one hand slipping over your knee a moment, “Do you actually care what he thinks?”
You hold his gaze for a long moment before shaking your head. He hums softly, squeezing, his thumb between your thighs and it’s really too distracting.
“Then fuck him; neither of those two seemed like they should be giving relationship advice.”
You giggle something ridiculous and cover your face with your hand a moment, glad you were able to make sense of all that even though you probably didn’t need to bring it up.
“You got anythin’ like a long t-shirt?” He changes the subject as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get pants on you.”
You huff out a sound and rub a hand over your face, most likely smearing makeup in the worst way. “That’s alright, I like bein’ pantless.” You reach over and is happy you don’t tumble, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder to get his attention. “Upstairs, first drawer on the right.”
He’s back and forth quickly; makes you wonder how long you’ve actually been sitting there.
Him undressing you is a blur; you note that he does his best to dip his gaze when he can to give you a little privacy. Just enough that you can figure out that your head doesn’t go into one of the arm holes and assists when you starts whining that you can’t get it right. You throw your wedding dress aside and kicks off your heels, letting out a soft huff when Austin disappears into the kitchen.
He comes back with a warm washcloth that smells like lilac soap and he waits until your gaze focuses on him before he asks whether you can do this yourself.
You nod a little absently, taking the washcloth from him and wiping your makeup off before handing it back to him. You pull as many bobbypins as you can find from your hair and toss them onto the coffee table, pulling your strands back up into a bun before collapsing face first into the couch.
You barely feel the couch dip as you smush your face into a pillow, blankets being draped over your shoulders.
--
When you wake up, you don’t automatically remember where you are.
You lift your head and groan softly, pinching your eyes with your thumb and forefinger trying to get the pounding to stop. There’s a soft blue light casting shadows on the walls of the living room and oh, that’s right, you’re home. Austin brought you home last night.
You swallow and nearly sit up too fast, leaning up on your elbows because oh, oh fuck, now you remember. A wave of nausea crashes down on you for moving and you flutter your eyes closed briefly and hope that helps. When you feels confident enough to fix your gaze on something other than the inside of your eyelids, you turn to look at Austin who’s sitting up in one of the lounge chairs nearby against a few pillows, watching TV.
He didn’t leave. He stayed with you the entire night.
The sound from the TV isn’t loud enough to be heard but you can tell he does this often, eyes on the screen, just absorbing the images that flicker to life. His head dips to look over at you when you move; he looks tired. You really hope he didn’t sit up to just…keep an eye on you, making sure you slept alright.
You clear your throat, the sound scratchy and dry regardless of your trying, “Am I dead?”
Austin smirks a little and stands to come and sit by your legs, handing you a glass of water that’s on the coffee table. “Here. You passed out before I could get you to drink any.”
You sigh softly and close your eyes, moving to sit up further and is glad to see the room isn’t spinning anymore. “Lovely.” You drink deeply after a few tentative sips to make sure you can keep it down.
“You stayed.”
“I did.” Austin’s quiet for a few moments, playing with the corners of one of the blankets. Clearly he’s not going to elaborate. “You got a headache?”
You hum an affirmative response but it’s nothing water and Advil can’t cure. You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes again for a few moments to avoid the blue light spilling into the room from the TV. You give yourself some time to sip your water before you open them again, setting the glass down on the table. There’s cookies there too, from last night. Austin kept them.
You sense embarrassment licking at your nerve endings, feeling a little ridiculous for your behavior. You should really know better than to let yourself go like that, especially since it doesn’t take too many glasses of wine in a row for it to happen.
“Sober?” He asks and there’s a tilt to his voice that you don’t like, far too amused.
You groan and turn your head to look at him, trying to muster up a glare that doesn’t stick. “Unfortunately.” You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to not even think about what you might look like.
You’re just glad you didn’t vomit.
A deep breath settles in and out of your lungs before you turn your head to look at Austin, the light of the TV casting beautiful shadows on his face. Your eyes skitter over the scruff beginning on his jawline and your fingers itch to follow. You clear your throat, getting his attention, and he turns his head to look at you.
“I’m sorry for getting plastered.” You smile a little because he does; that same amusement back on his face, though it doesn’t bother you this time around. “I’m shocked that you do weddings.”
You allow yourself to laugh a little, shaking your head like it’ll somehow clear the fuzzy memories of him bringing you back to your home, tripping over yourself. You regret the way you’ve carried yourself, but a tiny part of you is glad you decided to let yourself go, to enjoy the open bar and let your emotions run a little rampant for once.
You’re so used to keeping everything inside, to holding it all in. For once you didn’t.
Austin’s chewing on words he’s not saying, you can see the hesitance in his expression, wanting to say something but unsure if he should. You wait, don’t press, and eventually,
“Admittedly, I haven’t done a wedding in a while.” He shakes his head, “Because they tend to be messy in a way that I never expect.”
You wince, rubbing the back of your neck because…clearly you hadn’t planned on making a fool out of yourself but Austin quickly continues to explain,
“I don’t mean you.” He turns a bit to lean against the couch, his shoulder pressed along the cushions. Austin licks his lips, his eyes tracing your jawline and lips, slipping down your neck and collarbone enough to make you shiver.
“In your request, you said somethin’ like, ‘I don’t want my ex to feel like he’s taken something from me. Something that’s mine and will always be mine’.”
You search his eyes for a moment and when his finally meet yours, something warm and aching starts in your chest, blooming outward like a flower only meant to grow at night. You swallow thickly, “You remember that?” Because you kinda…bared you soul in that request for a date service. You hadn’t meant to come across so desperate but…you were also just being honest.
“I have a very good memory,” He attempts to wave this off, and you want to tell him not to—that what he’s saying matters. Austin’s seeing you, over walls you didn’t realize you had up after all this time.
“You said kind of implied that you wanted Todd to regret cheating on you, but I think you really meant that you wanted him to see that he didn’t break you.” He licks his lips and trails his pinky finger along your jawline as he curls loose hair behind your ear. “I’ve met a lot of women in similar situations, and not all of them have handled it like you.”
A laugh slips out of your throat, something you can’t stop. You’re trying to break the tension gathering in the room, something heavy and thick like warm cotton settling over both of you. Handled it? You haven’t exactly done that well, have you? If last night is any indication.
“What, they didn’t hire a male escort and get piss drunk?”
He smiles gently, shaking his head. “They let their exes break them because they couldn’t figure out who they were without them.”
The warmth in your chest threatens to burst and you wish for a moment that you could see yourself the way Austin does, so clearly, like everything is laid out before him, all he has to do is read.
“But not you.” It barely leaves his mouth before you close the distance between them.
The heat erupts in a single kiss, both of Austin’s hands tangling themselves in your hair, pulling it loose from your haphazard bun. He kisses you like you’ve always wanted to be kissed, even though you hadn’t realized it was something that was missing until now.
He inches you forward, forcing you to move until you’re straddling his waist, blankets getting caught and tangled in-between. Anything that’s been building up suddenly releases into you both, like a wave crashing, heated breaths against skin and not being able to get close enough. Austin tugs off your long t-shirt and a shiver travels down your skin as you reach up and automatically unclasp your bra.
You sit there for a moment, almost in the wake of realizing what you’ve done, and you watch Austin’s gaze. His eyes drink you in, hands still on your waist, trailing up your sides, thumb slipping underneath one of your breasts to press against your ribcage. The touch is intimate enough to cause something sharp in your throat, thick swallowing for it to disappear. You lean forward, presses your foreheads together and you kiss again.
You’re fumbling to get blankets down, to move everything out of your way and Austin flips your positions, easing you down onto your back along the cushions. He rifles for something in his suit jacket that’s nearby while you slip your hips up to slide your underwear down and off and away. He’s got too many layers on and you itch to immediately remove his shirt when he’s overtop of you again.
Toned skin greets you and you can’t help but touch, sink your fingers in, drag your nails. The noises that leave Austin’s throat are enough to single handedly build the heat beginning in your lower belly, something you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing. He moves only long enough to take his pants off, tossing them to the side, and he holds your gaze—
He waits.
You swallow and know this is such a bad idea, that nothing good can come from this. But wasn’t it Austin who urged you to figure out what you want? You want to feel confident? Wanted? Good enough?
Then it has to come from you first.
There’s a half-nod in Austin’s direction before he’s slipping a hand down between you, to put a condom on but also—
You moan, rolling your hips as you feel his fingers slide against you, inside of you. He teases, rolls flesh between his thumb and forefinger, lips falling to your neck to leave kisses that eventually find your mouth again.
He takes his time even though you wish he wouldn’t, building you up and letting you down easy before pressing inside. You gasp and your back arches, hips rolling forward, Austin leaning down to capture your mouth again, to absorb your sounds. You wrap your legs around him, which makes moving a little difficult, but you don’t want him to move too far away, want to constantly feel him—keep you both connected.
Austin nips at your lower lip with his own, not taking you long to build up what you’ve started. Pleasure circles in your veins, pulling you towards an end that you doesn’t want to reach yet. He doesn’t stop, keeps moving his hips forward at a quickening pace and you dig your nails into his back.
You barely have time to warn him before you’re cumming, though because your bodies are molded together, you think he already knows—probably knew before you did. He grunts as he loses himself in you, his face falling to your neck, gentle panting and lazy kissing.
You tilt your head back so your throat is exposed, your hands slipping down his back and settling on his waist, his skin a little slick to the touch. He lays there for a long few moments and you take one another in, his chest pressing into your own as you both breathe.
He pulls back too soon for your liking, but you don’t have the energy to tell him to stop. Austin cleans himself up, slipping onto the couch again, this time behind you, and pulls you close. You turn on your side, blankets coming up over your shoulder as you puzzle-piece both of you together, your face hiding in his neck, already falling asleep.
Austin says nothing, which is fine with you, he doesn’t need to say anything. His lips find your shoulder, a few kisses here and there, hands intertwining in your hair.
You finally figure out what you want—
and you want this. You want him.
--
You wake up before Austin does, pulling yourself from the couch and disappearing into the bathroom near the kitchen. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you kinda shake your head before drawing up Jill’s text messages on your phone.
Y/N: I think I messed up.
You wash your face and feel a little more human, sitting down on the closed toilet seat as she pings you back.
Jill: oh no, what happened?
Jill: please tell me Austin didn’t turn out to be a serial killer
You laugh, your hand covering your mouth. Jesus. A small, hysterical part of you wonders if that’d be easier to deal with.
Y/N: the wedding went fine, he brought me back home, stayed the night
Y/N: may or may not have had sex with him on my couch this morning??
Jill instantly tries to call you and you press the red button—you can’t talk to her when he’s still here.
Y/N: I can’t, he’s still here
Jill: !!!!!!
Jill: girl omg—
Jill: how was it? 😉
Running a hand over your face, you wonder if you should have ever said anything. Then again, there’s this small smile tugging the corners of your mouth. In general, you know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done—both of you are consenting adults. But then there’s this whole other layer of…paying him to be your date. It’s not like you paid him for sex or anything but…
You kinda can’t help but wonder how many jobs he takes that end up like this.
Y/N: it was perfect but that’s not the point
Jill: so what is the point?
You sigh softly, tapping on your cash app and just…wondering. So many insecurities and questions and wonderings wrapping around you like a blanket, except it’s far too tight, suffocating almost. Taking in a breath, you set your phone down on the counter, looking up when there’s a knock on the bathroom door.
“Y/N?” Austin asks, “You alright?”
Reaching over to grasp the knob, you open the door with a soft smile, “Yeah.”
Austin looks ridiculously adorable slept on. His hair is slightly askew, skin looking warm, a soft, tired look in his eyes. God, you can’t believe he’s been here for so long in these wedding clothes, back in his slacks and a white undershirt.
“I uh,” He clears his throat, “M’gonna head home. Shower, change. But…”
You lick your lips, your stomach flip-flopping with eagerness.
“I was thinkin’ I could come back later; we could talk?”
God, talking sounds like such a great idea. Not to mention you could shower too, put yourself together, feel more like someone capable of having a serious conversation. So you nod with a soft smile—that sounds perfect.
And then—
You can pinpoint the exact moment that Austin glances to the sink and sees the cash app open because his expression changes, like a shadow passing over but instead of dissipating—it stays, darkening the color of his eyes. A breath catches in your throat as you straighten your shoulders, words on your lips and stuck on your tongue. Nothing comes out.
His gaze flickers up from the phone to your eyes and what you see there is like a cold bucket of ice water, anger but…deeper, it’s—
“Not what it looks like.” You finally say, breaking the tension into pieces with a hammer.
Austin hums, nodding his head and licking his lips. He’s trying very hard to speak without sounding annoyed, “What’s it like then?” He asks, the words daggered. “Cause it looks like you were about to pay me for services rendered.”
You shake your head and stand from the toilet on wobbly knees. Austin takes a step back from you, almost like a caged animal, getting ready to bolt. And then you realize, right, he’s not angry, he’s hurt.
“No—”
“Don’t lie to me,” He grounds out, the words chewed on between his teeth.
A shuddered noise leaves your lips because you can tell you’re losing it, this conversation slipping like sand between your fingers. He’s not going to be willing to listen to you if you confirm he’s right, that you had thought about it—if you admit you weren’t sure what you were doing or what sleeping together meant.
You distantly know that this isn’t going to end well, no matter what you say. Austin tore his walls down in front of you, exposed himself, and now he looks like a fool for doing it. Even if it’s on accident, you’ve hurt him, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to backpedal without looking guilty.
“I thought about it,” You admit after a moment. “I wasn’t…” The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel cheap; you know that this thing started as a transaction but also that something changed last night.
“Nah, it’s good. You were payin’ me to do a job, right?” Austin turns to walk back to the living room, gather up his things. And it’s like…you have no idea what you can possibly say, how you can stop him.
Your legs carry you forward, “Austin, don’t.” You sigh and puts a hand on your lips, suddenly feeling nauseas as he moves too quick for you to stop him.
“Business is business. You can stop feelin’ so guilty,” He straightens his shoulders before grabbing his jacket, slipping it on. Metaphorically it feels like a shield, another layer he’s building back up between them both, shutting you out.
He can’t possibly leave like this, right?
You’re practically stumbling over your own feet as he makes it to the front door, “Please don’t walk away.”
His hand pauses on the doorknob, just for a moment, like he might actually be considering your words. But then he yanks the door open and slams it shut once he’s outside.
You don’t go after him.
--
Time goes on.
You expect that Austin might reach out to you—to apologize, to start over, or maybe even request the unfulfilled payment that he was supposed to receive after the wedding date. But nothing, it’s radio silent…and you think that’s worse.
You want to reach out to him on your own, but you’re not even sure where to begin. How to apologize for thoughts that are incomplete in your head. How to express emotions that are sitting at the bottom of your ribcage.
You’re just hoping for a chance to apologize and explain yourself, even though you’re not entirely sure you deserve it. Is this really it? Going back to business as usual and pretend they never met one another?
You sigh as you hear a few knocks on your door and hate how it feels like hope, quickly moving from your kitchen to tug it open and see Jill on the other side. You give her a small smile, letting her inside,
“I got your twenty texts, you alright?”
You run a hand over your forehead and shake your head, moving towards the kitchen for Jill to follow. You offer her a cup of coffee, sitting back at the counter with your own. Wrapping your hands around the ceramic, you glance up at your friend,
“I screwed up.”
Jill sighs softly, grabbing a cup for the coffee because clearly, she’s going to need it. “Tell me what happened; your texts were all hysteria and no detail.”
You map out the whole thing from start to finish, the chapel, the reception, the night of, the morning after—your voice drops on intimate details, like somehow you have to keep them exactly that. Intimate.
“Damn, Y/N.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I know…it was an accident.” You swallow. “The money part, anyways.”
She adds a few spoonfuls of sugar to her mug, stirring. “Does tall, blonde and brooding know that?”
You let your hand fall from your face, eyes focusing out the window above the sink at the city sounds and sights. Suddenly a dark blue gaze rekindles in your memory, the hurt there, wounded and refusing to let you past his boundaries again.
“I tried to tell him; he wouldn’t listen.”
Jill hums under her breath a moment and shuffles, “Maybe give him some time? Try him tomorrow.”
Easier said than done, “I don’t even know where he lives. He’s not going to pick up the phone if I try to call him; texts are useless.”
Your friend’s quiet for a few moments, considering—and then a sound leaves her lips and you picture a lightbulb going off on her facial expression. “But you know where he works.”
--
You stand outside the café that Austin works at for what feels like a long time, staring at the sign and pacing back and forth to your car parked down the street. You really hope no one is watching you because you probably looks crazy; you feel crazy. You can’t just approach this man where he works, can you? You don’t even know if he’s working today.
But it’s…worth a try, right? Like one last shot before you just drop it.
You’re not sure that if the situations were reversed, he’d show up at your front door, so. Or maybe you’re just hoping he would.
So after spending ten minutes contemplating what to do, you finally force yourself to walk up the café door and make your way inside. It’s a hole in the wall but filled to the brim with people at tiny circular tables, waiting in line to place their order with a beautiful blonde cashier and satisfied customers adding sugar and creamer to their coffees at a station to your left.
The heady scent of fresh coffee and baked goods slam into you like a truck, leaving you almost breathless. This place blends in when it should stick out—she wonders if you didn’t know Austin if you’d come in to order an iced coffee just walking by on the street.
Your eyes graze behind the counter until you finally spot him further down, filling baked goods trays in a window that were once empty. A ton of questions hit you at once; did he make those baked goods that are at his fingertips? How does he separate the time between the café and the stand-in job? What are you going to say to him?
Before you can fully approach him, Austin glances up—and spots you.
He’s not happy to see you but he doesn’t look as pissed off as the last time you saw him, so, you consider that progress. You swallow as you walk towards the counter and your hand settles on the top of the glass, the lights above the pastries warming your palm.
“Hi.” That’s it? That’s all you can say? This conversation is going to be just as painful as the last one.
Austin doesn’t have a chance to open his mouth because another worker, a blonde girl, rushes to the counter because she must be on register, “Hi,” She smiles, bright, “We have orange scones on sale today. What can I get you?”
You smile gently at her, glancing at Austin and wondering if he’s going to step in or just…continue not saying anything to you. You suppose you don’t blame him.
“I’ll uhm, take a hazelnut latte and one of those scones,” You nod, reaching for your wallet in your purse, “Thank you.”
“I got the rest of this, Chloe,” Austin steps in as you stick your card into the reader. “Thanks.” He watches her go before turning his attention back to you, customers passing by and receiving orders that he’s already packed at the end of the counter. He hands over your receipt.
“You stalkin’ me now?” He asks but he’s not amused, drumming his fingers on top of the counter.
You let out a slow breath and he moves to fill your order, working the espresso machine with practiced ease, “You won’t text me back.”
“Maybe that’s cause I didn’t wanna talk to you,” He says pointedly before motioning towards your right, “You skipped the line.”
“I didn’t want to order anything, I just wanted to talk.”
He smirks but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and he grabs an orange scone, wrapping it in a napkin. “Look at you, really learned how to be honest about what you want.”
“You taught me how.” You insist, trying to catch his gaze. When you finally do, you hold it there, trying to will him to listen to you—because you’re not grasping at straws, meeting him, spending time with him…being with him really taught you about parts of yourself that were missing.
Or maybe not missing, exactly, but lying dormant.
“I just want five minutes of your time, please, then I’ll leave you won’t hear from me again.”
Austin lets out a long patient sigh with a shake of his head, something between aggravation mixed with a touch of being impressed—you’re persistent, at least. He’s going to hear you out and suddenly all the words mix in a blender and sink to the bottom of your ribs; you’re almost unsure of how to put this but all you can do is try.
“You’ve been right since we first met; I didn’t know how to want things for myself even though I expected so much out of other people.”
You chew on your lower lip a moment, eyes tracing over the handsome lines of his face—now was not the time to get distracted.
“This whole thing caught me off guard, I wasn’t prepared to want you…and not just as my stand-in date, but you.”
He doesn’t hold your gaze and maybe that’s okay, he busies himself with getting other people orders, keeping the line moving but you can tell he’s still listening to you. He’s still intent on hearing you through…even though you’re almost certain it’s not going to make a difference.
You can tell by his expression, by those walls remaining firm; they’re not budging for you.
Not again.
“The money thing was a mistake. You were right, I did open up my app and think about it because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what this thing was or if I was…imaging how I felt. So I fucked up but…so did you for not sticking around and talking to me.”
Austin’s shoulders straighten; he doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. A rod appears up his spine, his posture almost towering despite the glass case between them.
“I just…that’s it,” You swallow, your thumb running over the scone in your one hand and picking up your finished latte with another. “That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for disrupting your work.”
You turn quickly, can’t take the look in his eyes anymore, the bustle of other people around you. You’ve said what you needed to—you should feel more complete than before, right? Because at least he knows your side of things.
It’s his turn.
You push the door open, the welcome bell dinging after you as you leave.
He doesn’t come after you.
--
You try to shake your head as Jill orders another shot, but can’t quite stop her because the woman has a mind of her own when it comes to having a good time.
“No,” You crinkle your nose.
Jill laughs, “Oh come on—one more. You’re not calling it early already, are you? We can get fries after this.”
You sigh, a bit dramatically, but how can you turn down fries? “Fine.” You shake your head, running a hand over your face as you sit at the counter of your frequent bar, “I’ll be back though.”
You slide off the barstool, motioning she should save your seat as you put your purse on it. She grins, cups your cheeks with her hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. You shoo her off, moving through the crowd to the restroom. Once you’ve used the bathroom and spend a little time with a cold and wet paper towel to the back of your neck, you come back out and nearly run someone over—
And blink because—
“Austin.”
It’s been a few months since you’ve seen him but fuck, he looks just as amazing as he did when you tried to explain yourself in the café. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, boots and a white button down, he’s got a leather jacket on as well, just a bit more scruff to his face.
“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna be here.” But it’s…contemplative, thoughtful, like he might have actually planned on trying to find you in the bar where you met.
You feel like the world might be spinning off its axis. “Here I am.”
He smiles a little, glancing over his shoulder and fuck, you wonder if he’s here with someone and—you’re pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t cause some adverse reaction. No punch in your gut that you completely screwed everything up. Time, it seems, does heal some wounds.
Maybe not heal, scar at the very least.
“I saw you post somethin’ on your instastory and I was…well I was hopin’…” He kinda trails off and two thoughts slam into your body like a freight train. One, he sounds…nervous? Which you feel like is very unlike him, given what you’ve been through together. And second? It actually sounds like he knew you were here and he meant to find you on purpose.
“Can we talk?” He asks, “Maybe outside?”
“Yes,” And god, you hope you don’t say that too fast. “Fresh air sounds good.”
As you begin to walk outside with him, you text Jill letting her know where you’re going (and with who). She sends you exactly three text messages in response that you don’t dare look at.
You take in a deep breath in once you get outside, the cool air settling over you like a bucket of cold water. You almost wish you grabbed your jacket from the bar but…dragging Austin over there towards Jill would have been such a bad idea.
It’s fine—the air is refreshing, a bit sobering and this conversation probably won’t last long either way. Taking in a breath, you turn to look at him, a soft smile on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself.
“So…”
Austin clears his throat, “You uh—?” He motions to his jacket and you’re not quite strong enough to deny his offer, so you gently nod your head. Austin slips off his leather jacket and hands it to you and you put it on.
A soft noise of approval leaves your lips as your arms go through the sleeves, a little bit long, feeling perfect though when you zip it up. The lingering scent of his cologne and skin is enough to almost knock you on your knees.
“Thank you.” You whisper, curling your hair around your ear.
You know that Austin is gathering his thoughts, but waiting almost somehow feels worse. You’re just…not sure what to do with yourself other than stare at him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.
“I shouldn’t have left you like that,” He finally says, “At your place?” It’s like the tension start to unwind from your shoulder at that, you almost have to physically swallow over your words so you can let him speak. “Just…felt like what we did, it was real—and—”
“It was real,” You assure him, can’t allow him to think otherwise, “I know this is going to sound cliché but…opening that cash app had everything to do with me, not you. I wasn’t second-guessing what happened.”
Austin gently waves you off, “It’s not your fault, I—I’m so used to things bein’ a business transaction that I just jumped to conclusions.”
You give him a small smile and it feels good? to be on the same page after all this time but…it’s not like, “It’s okay,” You curl your hair around your ear, “I’m not sure where something like this could go. I wouldn’t ask you to quit a job that’s clearly lucrative.”
Austin nods softly, “Well you don’t have to, because I already have.”
You’re not sure why what he says doesn’t register right away, you’re kinda just staring at him, wrapped up in his leather jacket, people passing you both on the sidewalk as you stand outside this bar.
Then you blink, “What?”
He smirks, running a hand through his hair as he nods, “Yeah, I uh—just didn’t want to do it anymore.”
You feel like your brain might be short circuiting, “But about acting? What about L.A.?”
A soft laugh rumbles in his throat, “I can still do L.A. Bein’ an actor isn’t goin’ anywhere.”
And you know that he still has a café job, that he can find other jobs to satisfy what he wants in terms of collecting money but…somehow you’re worried he’s traded one thing in for another. Even though Austin doesn’t look like he has any regrets as he takes a step towards you. His hands gently rest on your arms, sliding down, like he’s waiting for you to push him away.
When you don’t—
“You're not the only one goin' after what they want.”
You can’t stop a small laugh from slipping from your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around you automatically, drawing you closer, his one hand cupping the back of your neck.
It feels like you’re kissing for a long time, or maybe it’s just felt too long since you’ve kissed. Either way, pulling away makes you feel a bit breathless and Austin smiles, pressing your foreheads together for a moment.
It feels like starting over, or maybe even better, a new chapter.
#austin butler#austin butler x reader#austin butler x you#austin butler fic#elvis 2022#mccall writes things
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hello! i’m the anonymous that mentioned the thirst tweets 😭 i saw that you asked for people to send you ideas so i wrote some definitely did not watch several videos of celebs reacting to their thirst tweets i wrote a couple with a specific character but i figured id let you choose the character for the tweet :)
imagine getting paid to kiss vox, i’d do that shit for free
the sluttiest thing men can do is be ___
i’d let lucifer in his demon form break my back like a glowstick ANYDAY
vox with is sleeves rolled up vox with his sleeves rolled up vox with his sleeves rolled up vox with is sleeves rolled up vox with his sleeves rolled up vox with his sleeves rolled up vox is like 99% sure y/n wrote this one
my body is a temple and i want ___ to bust the walls
i desperately need ___ to smash my skull between their thighs
___ just popped up on my screen and it took all my self discipline to not kick the screen
just watched hazbin hotel.. i have inappropriate things to say about ___
i would let ___ rearrange my guts in alphabetical order any day
___ ass is a gift from god himself 🙏
i want lucifer to hit my g spot so hard that my moans are louder than his high note in “more than anything”
please don’t mind if there are any typos you obviously don’t have to use all of these but i’d thought i’d give you some different options ❤️ also LOVE YOUR WORK YOURE AMAZING
A/N: This is a bit of a long one compared to the others- Also, thanks for giving me choices but I'm definitely using a lot of them HAHAHAHA
Actor AU: Thirst Tweet Edition
(Y/N): *Is handed a glass bowl filled with paper strips* "Oh that's a bowl- seriously?? How many of these are there?"
*The producers off screen say something*
Lucifer: "A couple?? Woaaah-"
Vox: "Oh damn, I can't wait to see what the internet thinks of us."
Alastor: "Are any of these going to be censored?"
*The producers off screen say something again*
Alastor: "None?? WELL THEN-"
(Y/N): "This person says: 'Imagine getting paid to kiss Vox, I'd do that shit for free!'"
Vox: *Trying not to laugh* "Imagine trying to kiss an overheating computer monitor, that's how it feels like dear fans."
(Y/N): "I mean, when we film it's not that bad but hey- to each their own."
Lucifer: "Wait wait look at this: 'The sluttiest thing a man can do is obsess over their rival who went missing for seven years'. Oh this is a callout that's what that is-"
Vox: *Can't even respond coherently he just falls into a fit of laughter*
Alastor: "And they say my character is the creepy one! Seriously?!"
Adam: "You both play creepy characters- anyway, this one says: 'I'd let Lucifer in his demon form break my back like a glow stick any day.' YO THAT WAS A HARD FUCKING LEFT LET'S BE REAL FOR A MINUTE-"
Vox: *Folded over and just laughing uncontrollably*
Alastor: *About to start laughing as well but trying not to and pointing to Vox* "I'm gonna start laughing if this idiot doesn't stop I swear to god-"
Lucifer: "That escalated really quickly oh WOW-"
(Y/N): "VOX- STOP LAUGHING-"
Adam: "Dude we literally JUST started!"
Alastor: *Trying to distract himself and not become a laughing mess* "This one is just a copypaste of: 'Vox with his sleeves rolled up'. (Y/N) are you sure you didn't write this?"
(Y/N): "HUUUUH??? WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S ME??"
Alastor: "Because it's you???"
Vox: *That does not help him stop laughing*
Lute: "Okay- my turn! This one says: 'My body is a temple and I need Alastor to bust down the walls'. People are really down bad for a radio deer and a bipedal TV-"
(Y/N): "THAT SHIT IS ACCURATE! LIKE REALLY ACCURATE!"
Vox: *He's clutching his side because it's sore from him laughing too much* "Okay okay! Let me try! I wanna see what the people say! Oh goodness this one: 'I desperately need Lute to smash my head between their thighs'. Excuse me but BITCH WHAT THIGHS?"
Lute: *Playfully and repeatedly smacks Vox*
Adam: "He's not wrong though! These people are craaaazy-" *Laughs as Lute smacks him too*
(Y/N): "Yooo! there's one about me! '(Y/N) just popped up on my screen and it took all my self-discipline to not kick the screen'. I can't tell if that's good or bad-"
Vox: *WhEeEzE*
Lucifer: "Depending on who you ask it could either be aggressive affection or people just don't like your character much."
Alastor: "Which is hilariously odd because people really like mine??? What goes on in the heads of our fans??"
(Y/N): "Bleh- oh wait look at this one: 'Just watched Hazbin hotel, I have inappropriate things to say about Saint Peter'. SERIOUSLY???"
Lucifer: "Oh my god people's corruption kinks-"
Alastor: "That's craaaazy-"
Adam: "I can't wait to tell him about this!" *Laughs*
Lute: "Give me another one! Hmm- 'I would let Alastor rearrange my guts in alphabetical order any day'. Canonically he could- you would just die afterwards-"
Alastor: "Yeah I don't think my character would be entirely opposed to that. In the innuendo sense though? Oh boy."
(Y/N): "Yooo this one! 'Adam's ass is a gift from god himself' praying hands emoji- CANON LORE MOMENT?"
Adam: "IT'S CANON! IT'S SO CANON-"
Lute: *Laughing like crazy*
Vox: "Oh this one isn't any better- 'I want Lucifer to hit my g-spot so hard that my moans are louder than his high note in: "More Than Anything"'. Well, we stan a short king."
Lucifer: "That has got to be the most creative thing that's come out of that depraved batch of comments so FAR."
Alastor: "Wait wait- there's a last one. It says: 'I need to kiss Vox until he can't breathe'. Okay (Y/N) you're up-"
(Y/N): "OH FUCK OFF AL-" *Laughs*
#vox x reader#hazbin hotel#vox#get off my screen series#hazbin hotel vox#vox x you#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin vox#hazbin vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox x reader#actor au
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ً HONEY LETTER ୨୧♡
warnings. fluff, a lot of fluff, fluff that rots your teeth, friends to lovers !, jack being so cute and huggable
plot. jack and you are starring in a romcom and you think it's a "great" idea to tell him your feelings when you're practicing your lines.
— ♪ hey stephen jack
a/n. DUDE THIS IS TOO LONG, IT'S HORRIBLE, I HATE IT, btw it's my first fic, be kind ><
💌 ♡♥︎ ………………………………..........
Something you loved about being an actress was the confidence you had acquired over the years, you were so sure of yourself that, without even doing anything, everyone felt confident with you and admired the way you were. However, you would like to say that you always have that confidence in yourself, because at this moment you found yourself with your legs shaking with nervousness.
You were on the filming set of your next movie, a romcom, this was the first time you accepted a role like this, because you have always been more into suspense and horror. Being the lead in a romcom was not easy, especially when your co-star was the cutest guy you had ever seen. You had acted with many guys before, but none like Jack Champion.
You met Jack months before filming began, the director had suggested that you spend more time together so that the chemistry would be noticeable on screen and so you did. With every shooting scene you could feel your own character take over you, acting like a schoolgirl in love trying to camouflage your feelings for the boy who stole your heart.
Remembering each of your moments with Jack was like therapy, you adored him, yes, and he could say the same. Right now you find yourself looking into his eyes, your lips trembling and your legs weak, Jack must think you're too deep in your role.
You hold up a letter written in your own handwriting, so neat and tiny so that you can read it smoothly in case you forgot what was to be read. You had decided to rehearse your lines before you started recording the scenes and boy had you practiced a lot, you already knew what the other was going to say.
Jack was watching you intently for your movements, anxious for you to start saying your lines, his eyes going from your eyes to your hands, and so it went on until you made a small sound, so inaudible that Jack had to open his eyes wider for you to repeat it.
"I know... we've been friends for a while now and it may seem very sudden but... I think I like you."
Saying that, you tried to look around, looking for something to entertain yourself with or distract your thoughts, but you couldn't, all you could do was return your gaze to Jack's, looking for a response to what you said, but you decided to speak again, ignoring your lines and giving him the letter your character had written for his.
"I'd like to know if you can hear my heart beating right now" you took his hand bringing it carefully to your chest, Jack looked at you in surprise, diverting his gaze to your hand and then to the letter he held in his other hand.
Jack could feel how fast your heart was going and your hands so cold as an ice cube, he didn't know if you were being sincere or just winging it. His gaze rested on your lips, noticing how you were trying to keep them still as you licked them to calm yourself. He smiled softly, trying to inspire peace and tranquility in you, you looked like a chihuahua from shaking so much and that was very funny to him. He moved a little closer to you, leaning his body to bury his head in your neck being careful not to be rough. He kept his nose on your neck, wondering how it was possible for you to smell so good, but quickly fizzled out any thoughts not befitting the scene and opted to speak so nicely.
"What do you say we get serious?" he whispered into your neck, his response surprised you and his breath caused your back to arch a little. You knew you liked Jack, but you didn't know you could like him this much.
You pulled away from him slowly, looking into his eyes, searching for some trace of a lie in his eyes, but they only glittered anxiously. That reminded you of the times when you both flirted with each other before the filming of the movie started and as you still do, it became a habit between you to be affectionate with each other, let out teasing or just hugging each other during breaks.
You looked at him doubtful of everything, you were proposing, but you didn't know if Jack had realized that, maybe that's why he answered that or maybe he just wanted to improvise.
"Yah, stop playing with that, it's just a rehearsal" you gave him a somewhat forced smile, pulling your hands away from his and taking back the letter he was holding. "We should go get something to drink."
Jack let out a laugh, hugging your shoulders and starting to walk with you, your heart was still pounding furiously and you felt so silly for not continuing to talk.
"You did great, for a moment there I believed it" You raised your head to find Jack looking straight ahead with a smile, you thought about what to say back to that, did he like you too?
Jack seemed to be deep in thought as well, until he shook his head several times and looked up at you, depositing a kiss on the top of your head.
And so the days went by, in each rehearsal you said something different, like he was the king of your heart or that he brought you flying in the clouds, but again, you denied everything and said it was just you improvising and of course Jack was not far behind, he answered you new things, he said that the girl of his story had always been you or that you were the light of his eyes. You were so happy with something you started and you knew it was fake.
But one day you decided to finally confess your feelings, that day you opted to put on light makeup and wear a small necklace, not so flashy, but you knew Jack would see it because he once told you he liked shiny things. Comically you checked your horoscope to see if it was your lucky day, you had never been one to believe in such things, but you were so desperate that anything good would make you jump for happiness.
Today you hadn't gone to the recording set, you both agreed that you would practice in your apartment, so you took the opportunity to do a quick cleaning.
Jack arrived at the agreed time, you were surprised how punctual he could be, when you opened the door you felt like melting, you were so lost for this man that no matter what he wore, he would look so good, you smiled at him and let him pass, noticing that his mullet looked a little lacy and the skin on his neck was brighter.
"So, honey, shall we continue with the same today?" he asked you with amusement, he called your name to see if you had heard him and you, softly answered yes to both questions.
You got into position, Jack was admiring every corner of your living room carefully and attentively, he smiled when he saw a heart shaped pillow on your couch, so he decided to take it in his arms and hug it to look at you attentively, he wanted to know what statement you would give him today. He moved his hands towards you, implying that he wanted you to talk.
You stuttered a little, thinking about what you would say today but this time, you took the letter in your hands, opened the envelope and began to read, you wrote your character's statement inspired by your crush on Jack. Several times Jack had held the envelope in his hands, but never checked its contents.
"Hey, you're probably thinking, did this crazy lady write me a letter?" you blurted out mockingly, recited her character's name and again stuck your nose in the letter. "Possibly in this letter I won't tell you half the things I want to tell you, you're so brilliant and unique, you make me want to love you like I've never loved anyone before."
"Everyone wants to have you, but I'll always be the only one waiting for you in the coldest moment, you make me feel like I'm not alone" You looked up, only to notice how focused Jack was on your lips, listening intently to everything you said, he was fascinated by your voice, how confident you sounded to him, but you were so nervous that you didn't notice how determined you looked in his eyes.
"You don't know how much I want to kiss you, you look like an angel, I love every part of you, you make me feel unique, the way you say my name is... indescribable" you formed a smile remembering the times Jack called you by your name and not a random nickname, he smiled for the same thing too, wishing he was the one the letter was addressed to.
"I know there are a lot of girls wishing to have you, but will they be able to write you a letter highlighting their love for you?" you laughed, looking at Jack again, you extended the letter to him, this time, with the intention that he would read it, he didn't know if he would, in the script it wasn't written that he would read the letter, but you, however, he decided to ignore it and take it, brushing his fingers with yours, you both smiled at that act.
You watched Jack closely, enchanted by his long eyelashes and the polka dots that adorned his smooth face, you directed your gaze to his lips, which he moved, pretending to read, they looked so cute, immersed in reading that you stayed watching him until he finished reading. Jack looked up, giving you the most radiant smile you've ever seen.
"It's amazing, our characters are so.... wow!" you noticed the excitement in his voice, he sounded like a child after being given his favorite toy, he could only laugh and smile like never before "Your performance captivated me, I thought you would improvise again, I mean..."
"Jack..." You interrupted, already tired of the whole thing, it was time, you had to tell him your feelings yes or yes, maybe they weren't reciprocated, but you needed to get that weight off your back.
"I'm sorry, I lied in every scene we rehearsed, the truth is I like you and I had no idea how to say it" With all the courage you could muster you blurted out your feelings, you wanted to die, throw yourself off a cliff and never see Jack again.
But he smiled at you again and started laughing, with the letter still in his hand, he rubbed his hands on his pants and looked all around before looking back at you.
"Are you being honest this time?" He whispered longingly to you, his cheeks turned red and you could swear yours were just as red, you nodded repeatedly which gave you a headache.
Jack turned around, releasing all the air he was holding and began to hop lightly, reaching towards you and taking your face in his hands, he kissed your forehead, your cheeks and your nose, his eyes were paid to yours, looking at you sweetly.
"Can I kiss you, I just really like you too"
He teased you, you laughed and hugged his abdomen, drawing him to you and resting your lips on his.
At that moment you could have sworn you were in love with Jack Champion.
!!
english is not my first language, sorry if there are some mistakes, i try to improve. also to mention that i don't write smut, just fluff !!, bc jack deserves respect. <3
#jack champion#jack champion x reader#fluff#actress!reader#ethan landry#jack champion imagine#jack champion one shots#jack champion x y/n#jack champion x you#jack champion headcannons#friends to lovers#jack is so cute pls
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Did you enjoy The Boy and the Heron? I don't think it's my new favorite Ghibli film but it's got me thinking a lot. I had the same sort of feeling about Wind Rises where the film itself wasn't my favorite work but I really appreciated the film's message/theme more than some of the other Ghibli films that I DO love. would love to hear your thoughts!!
No spoilers below--
I enjoyed the first ninety minutes very much. Some of the sequences in it are among the best Miyazaki's done. I like the heron a lot and I loved the character Kiriko. Mahito was a good kid too, he was a little less opaque than a lot of Miyazaki's protagonists and I loved his intense madness in the first half.
But then, man, does that movie fall down hard towards the end. All the modern Miyazaki movies do, he hasn't ended a movie coherently since Mononoke Hime, but it's at its most detrimental here. So much is dropped. There are so many elements that never have a pay-off.
Now you mentioned The Wind Rises and I think that's a fine movie to compare this one with. The Wind Rises also had a surface narrative - the highly fictionalized life of Jiro Horikoshi - and a personal thematic narrative - Hayao Miyazaki's rumination on what it is to be an artist. Both are very well managed in that movie and they each come to a satisfying, if characteristically rushed and choppy end.
How Do You Live does NOT, in my opinion, stick the landing with its primary tale about a grieving kid named Mahito. Instead it's constantly battling with its second function as a symbolic depiction of Miyazaki's creative process and advice to The Youth. The characters are given precedence as symbols rather than as people. I found this unsatisfying and frustratingly self-indulgent on his part. By the end I pretty much understood that Mahito was the the Youth, that the tower was the director working through the process of a film, that the mother was both a curse and a protective inspiration, that the pregnant stepmother was a new project, that the heron was Toshio Suzuki, yadda yadda. The film is much more interested in this self-indulgence than in resolving its primary story about Mahito. It all but abandons that kid's struggle in favour of its wanking.
There is so, so much left unresolved. And the resolutions it does come to feel unjustified, frantic, and like afterthoughts.
So yeah, not one of my favourites either. Just a mess of a movie. But the fact it was all pulled together by an eighty-something year old dude is impressive for sure. I don't think we'll ever see another animated movie like this again. For better or for worse :3
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Ok, I finally saw Journey to Bethlehem and I can't begin to express how much I loved it, I'm a very difficult person to like a full musical, which is why movies like west side story and in the heights I only liked a few songs, like as movies in general they are good, but not to my personal taste.
Furthermore, the Christian film market usually ranges from very similar, commercial and honestly boring films, to 'reinterpretations' that remove plots and things that do not go at all with the Original material So I wasn't too confident in how good the trailer looked but I was willing to give it a look, thank goodness I did.
As a Christian who was raised in the church with a Christian family, my view of religion was quite Biased by their way of looking at it Which wasn't bad, but I was focused on the religious point of view sometimes excessively, so over time as I grew up and got to know the world around me, I moved away from that, And then after I grew up I returned to wanting to learn for myself without biased opinions about the Bible and to be able to understand it and really feel what everyone said they felt.
And so I came to the conclusion that You can save your self a Lot of time, if you just read the bible as what it is: a book, full of human people with a lot of imperfections, murky, miraculous, heartbreaking, crazy, steamy and even funny (yes, I'm not lying) stories. Religion, so focused on an idea that sometimes not even the Bible itself shares, forgets the human part that fills the stories, which is not very described in it either, but that one can easily interpret.
And thanks to this, criticism of Christians is very well founded on several occasions, and many people have the mistaken idea that the Bible is a 'holy book of holy people'.
That there is nothing more false, the book is holy or is different, unique and/or sacred because of how it was written and because of the stories that happen in it And how accompanied by prayer and the real desire to want to know, you can learn a lot no matter how many times you read it, not because of the people who lived them.
Who were they, let me tell you the test of God's patience.
Do you know Moses? The dude who divided the sea (by God's guidance), did you knew that (this one's funny), thanks to the people he brought out of Egypt after the plagues and that he have to spend 40 years with them in the desert? 🙃 no, it's not a joke and no, it's not an interpretation, literally thanks to the almost constant disobedience of the Israelis after being liberated they were punished with that, and the worst thing is that God had reasons, and I'll give you an example of that, these people decided to worship a damn golden cow that they built Because Moses had taken a long time to return from talking to God (when he went to look for the commandments ironically) less than a year after being freed by God from slavery.
Moses broke the first tables of commandments out of anger, and had to go look for them again, I repeat, no, I'm not playing, this is how it happened in the Bible And it was not only for this reason that they had to stay, it was a list of things that these people did, having as a testimony and example just by being free, still had Incredible faith problems.
The generation that left Egypt never saw or lived in the promised land, the only one who saw it out of mercy was Moses, but it was the descendants who managed to enter the promised land.
Haaa, bet you didn't knew that..
So, as you can see, no, not holy and/or perfect people at all. You might wonder, what does this have to do with the movie? And I will answer you, sorry, i got inspired, but the thing is, this is basically the context of why I liked it so much.
Journey to Bethlehem, it is the story of the birth of Jesus if we remove the religion and the holy holy beautiful peacefull look that some churches like to sell, and start to unite our 4 neurons and think about what, humanly, those people thought and did under the context of that time With fire songs, good performances, very good acting, and Milo (I'm not going to elaborate, I'll just say that I gained a tremendous crush on this man lmao)
And I want to list my favorite points from this in the movie.
-The representation of Mary
Arguably my favorite part of the movie, like, this woman really made me feel what it must have been like for her to carry the son of God.
Because N1: Mary is painted as this woman rejoicing in the news that she will become pregnant overnight when she is engaged, not married, in a patriarchal society With around 1000 laws about what you can and cannot do and the things you cannot do are punishable by death, One of them being being pregnant or having a child out of marriage 🙃🤭 what a blessing right?
And N2: For years Mary has been said to be holy and worshiped when she probably wouldn't approve of that herself, since she grew up with scriptures that said they couldn't worship idols. And they made her an idol. Something to make clear is that the only holy human, biblically speaking, is Jesus. Mary was a virgin, not a saint, she had more children with her husband after having Jesus, she had a life beyond him.
And this movie brings that out, it makes the most of it and I love it.
It shows what a struggle it must have been for her to have such a burden on her, she was young (in those days people married young), perhaps a teenager, Yes, they were raised differently and at the end of the day he was about to get married, but still, as I said, the Bible leaves out a lot of the human factor.
It can say that it passes a beginning and an end but it does not give you the means to connect both parts In the Bible, Mary respectfully accepts the news that she is going to have a baby, and the film respects that, but Mary was human, you know the fear and absolute madness must cause that an angel to appear to you out of nowhere and tell you that you are going to have a son who is going to be savior and king and then disappear (appreciation for the angel Gabriel btw My man would be me if i was an angel lmao) How the hell do you explain that to your parents? To your fiancé, no matter how versed everyone was in the scriptures, no one, NO ONE thought Jesus was going to be born from a humble virgin, Literally part of the reason (spoiler alert lmao) Jesus was killed was because no one believed that the king they were waiting for was a simple carpenter who was born in a manger. This probably included Mary herself, certainly her parents, and much more, Joseph. And she knew it, of course she knew it, she knew it was true but she had to know how hard it was to believe it and how much trouble she could get into for being pregnant. It's kind of expected that Mary would have doubts, rightly so which is why I love love the song "mother to a savior and king" i just feel that it had to be exactly what she thought.
... Give me eyes to see
Just how I can be
Carrying your son when I need You
To carry me
...Should a miracle feel like an anchor
Bringing shame upon my family
This burden is too heavy
I need strength to be
A mother to a savior and king
... You said, "Do not fear"
So Lord, if you are here
Help me have the faith you have in me
Give me eyes to see just how I can be
Mother to a savior
When I need saving
Like aaaa Chills, literal chills And I love it because it doesn't occur to people how society must have seen Mary, we see it as a blessing because we know how it all ended, but they didn't know. And they lived in a very very different society, if everyone had found out, they would have stoned Mary, that is the reality that they don't talk much about at Christmas.
Another fact that I liked is that Mary had to travel, traveling in this time does not imply the same as traveling in that time, with her 9 months of pregnancy (Because she gave birth as soon as she arrived in Bethlehem) on a donkey 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I don't think I have to elaborate much, i love how they portrayed here. You can say people knew how things were, they were used to it, yes, but Maria had never been pregnant and no matter how adapted you are to something, You can't erase the physical challenge of traveling with a giant belly in those conditions.
And let's not even talk about the birth, where they were in the city that: it was full of soldiers seeking to kill her and her baby, they broadcast the news that they would be killing babies and pregnant mothers In search of finding her, which is why they did not find asylum and had to go to a stable.
I think with the idea of ☺️ ah, Jesus was born in a manger ☺️We forget that 💀 oh, Jesus was born in a manger 💀 I don't know about you, but I think that is not the ideal place to give birth And yet the representations of that are so sugar coated We literally have a song called "Silent Night" tell me, explain to me what part of giving birth where the animals and their excrement are because an entire army is chasing you trying to kill you, sounds like a peaceful night????
Another detail is that Joseph (who I am obviously going to talk about) logically had to act as midwife for Mary, because no one was with them, no one wanted to be with them, that sounds like a horror story honestly, and no, I'm not taking away from how beautiful the whole purpose of Jesus is and everything is.
I am only pointing out the facts, which are raw and very Real about a situation like this, this was the reality as it is written, the Bible leaves things out But the rawness in several acts is never lacking.
One last thing to add is that I was afraid at first that they would portray Mary as a feminist ahead (by centuries) of her time But in an annoying and very political way because of how the movie started, And that they were going to make her not want the pregnancy and make it as if they had violently forced her, thank God that didn't happen, i loved her, The actress did a tremendous job interpreting her with personality without losing the respect (that is noted in the Bible) Mary had for God and the giant task she was given, and I actually liked that twist That perhaps Mary and Joseph did not know each other before they got engaged, which would not be unusual at that time. And that Mary said at the beginning of the movie that she believed she was destined for bigger things 🙃.They give more personality to this icon that we all have of her and I love it.
-The representation of Joseph
Starting with the fact that I have a big fat crush now on Milo Mannheim thanks to him (not important at all actually)
I think everyone, whether Christian or not, knows that Joseph is a secondary character every time the story of Jesus' birth is mentioned, even invisible I dare say. And I was always curious because of how he leaves after he is born in the Bible, it is simply not mentioned again and this is why I think there is this kind of unconscious belief that Jesus only had one parental figure and that was Mary.
When this can easily be contradicted by the little information we have in the Bible; Joseph was known as Joseph the carpenter, and who ended up being a carpenter? (Flashbacks to Sabrina lmao) Jesus, No matter how holy and amazing he was, Jesus grew up having to learn things, he wasn't born knowing, and obviously Mary didn't teach him how to work with wood so it's pretty logical to think that his stepfather (idk How to call it) taught him. That even if we leave this out (which is after the birth of Jesus) Joseph was THE man ok And this is with biblical foundation, he believed Mary and decided to continue with the wedding despite how crazy it all sounded, he helped her during the trip to Bethlehem, ALONE, he had to practically attend the birth
And the film captures that so, so well, I have no words to describe how impressed and excited I was to see how they highlighted so many things that I knew because yk, they are in the Bible but I hadn't been aware of noticing before.
How difficult it must have been for him to make the decision to believe Mary (which, let's be honest, takes a lot of faith to believe something like that) To follow her, and his song, my God, his song is so good. It's perfect for showing a morally gray human decision and the way he delivered that presentation ugh I just feel from my heart that it was exactly what Joseph thought. Cause:
I'm completely torn in two
Half of me believes her,
while the other half needs proof
This was no inmaculate conception
Just the ultimate deception
Gilty to the bone we should have her stoned now
Wait don't you throw your stoned no don't yoy judge her i look into her eyes i think i love her
I just 🫠🫠🫠 Jesus Christ
You don't come out of that movie without half falling for Joseph and that's something I never imagined saying in my life lmao
It was a very human way, full of personality and commitment, to portray the character. beyond the attractiveness of both the actor and the goofy personality they gave him. They gave it this degree of seriousness and part of the story that shows very clearly what they themselves say in the film and that is that God did not choose only Mary, She couldn't do everything she had to do alone, and among those things was raising a child that was given to her overnight and that she had to carry for nine months, and that does not deviate from history even though there are those who say no, it is written but I think it needed the human interpretation for people to see it, as I feel that they need with many stories from the bible. They definitely took their liberty to create the love story and I'm not complaining, I never thought at all that there must have been a lot of love both between them and for God for them to be able to go through all of that, And I like to believe that if it was like that, the love they had for each other, because only someone who loves another person so much is willing to go through all that, cause very easily Joseph could receive confirmation from God that what Mary said was true and say well, that's not my problem, but he decided to take responsibility with her, Which shows why God chose them, so yes, it has its freedoms but I don't think it is essentially far from reality.
Herodes
O. M. GOOOOODDD.
Antonio Banderas ate with his performance because damn I could feel the arrogance, the complete pleasure that those kings had for being rich and powerful, with that man And he didn't have much screen time, despite how comical he gets at times he manages to show how dangerous Herod was.
That, they didn't show it but that man ordered babies and pregnant mothers to be killed in the end, just for fear that they would take away his throne and his power, out of complete caress. And Antonio showed a funny and iconic man but also dangerous and capable of that and, and also they gave him the best song.
And i'm not Even joking, 'good to be king' is what Disney tried (and failed) to do with "Wish", It has all the magic and that lyricism that shows rough and raw things with incredible music That sticks to you despite how bad the bad guy is, from the villain songs of Disney's 2D movies, It's at the level of "poor unfortunate souls" and the Interpretation, God It's one of the best parts of the movie, weeks go by and I still can't get it out of my head
Finally, the relationship of Mary and Joseph.
I feel that all our lives, after thousands of times telling us the story of the birth of Jesus, the relationship of Mary and Joseph never had any importance beyond their role in the birth. So I loved the representation of that here, the way they took this theme of a planned marriage, which could very easily have been a reality, Along with the human and emotional reaction that these people must have had at the time, they give life and depth to Mary and Joseph, with the pros and cons.
With how difficult it was but also how strong they must have been as a couple to carry out the huge task they had, it made me see it from a more human point of view and give more value to their relationship.
They took their liberties, there are things that are super funny and have that absurd touch, but it is a story full of a lot of respect for the source, and full of a wonderful and human interpretation of of this great story, You don't feel it is religious, because it isn't, the music isn't just there and they are all very good (something that doesn't happen with all musicals).
And it is simply beautiful, it is made with love and it shows, they took advantage of every penny of their budget and put out this piece of art that I feel everyone should see for Christmas And that I would like to tattoo permanently on my brain lmao.
Go watch it, it's absolutely worth it.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading my entire almost essay of the movie, I hope you find your Joseph in life🫶😂
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SKZ + BARBENHEIMER
warnings ; mentions of food, crying and the patriarchy
a/n ; just a silly little thing for fun (extremely barbie-biased bc i have not seen oppenheimer 🤭)
.・゜-: ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ✧ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ :-゜・．
chan
is totally down for the double feature
equally excited for both tbh
was easily persuaded into dressing on theme
you rocking all black and a leather trench coat, and chan in baby pink and denim <33
y’all slayed
lots of snacks and drinks to sustain you both throughout the night
(chan cries during barbie)
long late night conversations after the movie <33
overall an 11/10 experience with ur ken (affectionate) !!
:-゜・．
minho
complains about it being too much effort (he’s already bought the tickets)
will do the bare minimum in terms of dressing to theme but enjoys seeing you all excited and happy
EXTREMELY engrossed throughout barbie
wouldn’t even let you out to pee at first bc you were “disrupting a very important cinematic experience”
sits through the entire end credits
“soo did you like it?” “it was okay i guess”
drags jisung along to see it again bc he knows you’d never let him live it down
:-゜・．
changbin
did not want to see oppenheimer at first
“it’s just stupid men being stupid and blowing stuff up” “okay but cillian murphy and florence pugh are in it”
only goes on the condition you both dress to the barbie theme
honestly he outdressed you. there’s no two ways about it
changbin kenned so hard you can’t help but respect it
“baby, you ready to go?” “…” 🙄 “..ken, you ready to go?” “yes barbie!!!”
needless to say you had trouble getting him to leave the theatre
“okay bin, time to go” “no they haven’t played barbie dreams by fifty fifty yet”
:-゜・．
hyunjin
soo dramatic about the entire thing
thinks himself into a panic when deciding which one to see first
then also proceeds to have a crisis about which theme to dress to
has too many outfit ideas for both and makes you watch as he models all of his 50 options
complains if you don’t give detailed feedback on each one
“ynnie are you even looking??” “hyunjin, if looks could kill right now…”
when he finally does decide on his outfit though, it’s like walking the red carpet with him
looks hella good and he knows it
lovees the photo opps (probably the best part of the night for him smh)
:-゜・．
jisung
babygirl is so excited to see barbie
thought it would be a feel-good film
is sorely mistaken when he sees you tearing up during the movie
next thing he knows, boom! (woops wrong movie) he’s bawling
listens so intently to you talk about the film afterwards that he surprises even himself
genuinely just wants to learn more so he does his own research
(and not just about horses, though it is included)
“really? you, mr jeogiyo noona hokshi namja–?” 😭😭😭
makes you buy him the kenough hoodie for emotional damage
you agree
:-゜・．
felix
he’s so excited!!!
bakes cookies for you both to sneak into the theatre
briefly considers doing a split dye just for the premiere
“lix angel we’re leaving in an hour” “fine :(”
but his pout disappears immediately when you offer to help with his makeup
“sit stilll lixie” “can’t, ‘s ticklish!”
there is pink glitter. everywhere.
bc someone insisted it was essential for the look
(he was right, it really does top it all off)
you’re also running late bc you and felix got a little distracted while finishing off his makeup
it’s not your fault his lips look so kissable with your gloss on
and it’s not felix’s fault he’s addicted to the strawberry taste on both your lips
you do eventually make it there though, just missing all the ads
safe to say there were a lot of laughs shared and tears shed <3
:-゜・．
seungmin
man this dude is the biggest pretend-hater
told you he refuses to see barbie and wants to see oppenheimer instead
you frowned and begged for him to give in but no luck
then the next thing you know you’re at the theatre and it’s two tickets for barbie
wtf??
“is this some sick mind game?”
“what, you think im that twisted? maybe we should go see oppenheimer since you love evil geniuses so much”
watches you snatch the tickets from his hand and run off with a lovesick smile on his face
for the entirety of the following week, you catch moments of seungmin humming the barbie soundtrack
always stops the second you’re around though and tells you you’re hearing things
“stop gaslighting me, that’s so un-barbie of you”
but when you finally catch him singing ‘i’m just ken’ in the shower ohoho
you throw open the bathroom door “aha! i knew it!!”
“y/n what the hell??” “i knew ittt. you lovee barbie hehe”
“whatever.. but uh since you’re here…can you pass me a towel please?”
“okay :) if you sing :))”
in the end, he got his towel and you got a full rendition of the song from your red-faced boyfriend
:-゜・．
jeongin
just doesn’t really get the hype
he was fine seeing either or none of them tbh
but you convinced him with the prospect of matching outfits <33
he’s so into it that you forget he was the one who didn’t want to go at first
literally buys you matching pieces and jewellery to wear
you have no control over your outfit at this point
but it makes him happy and you know you’re in good hands so you let him have at it
ofc you both end up looking great
makes you take a bunch of pics for his ig tho 🙄
but you get a bunch of cute couple ones in too
honestly? you couldn’t really tell what he thought of the movies after
but the next day you can hear him watching tiktok in the living area
and it’s all…barbie commentary?
there’s the occasional fashion and kpop video in the mix but video after video you can hear him listening to critical analysis of the film
“baby?” “hm?” “you good?” “yeah” then after a beat “fck the patriarchy tho”
~
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#skz#stray kids#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz reactions#stray kids scenarios#stray kids reactions#christopher bang#bang chan#bang chan x reader#chan x reader#lee know#lee know x reader#minho x reader#seo changbin#changbin x reader#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#han jisung#jisung x reader#han x reader#felix x reader#lee felix#kim seungmin#seungmin x reader#yang jeongin#jeongin x reader#i.n x reader#barbenheimer
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Love for Love's Sake Ep 6 Stray Thoughts
Last time, we picked up with the boys’ date, and things took a turn when Myunha wanted to avoid an interaction with his mom in her café, and then the amusement park was closed. Myungha also disappointed Yeowoon by telling him they were just friends. Later, Myungha soundly rejected Sangwon, and then further disappointed Yeowoon by telling him to love someone else instead. Thankfully, Shi-a teamed up with Yeowoon and is rooting for him. Myungha had to save 3,000,00 won, and learned that Yeowoon is being abused by an older male relative (perhaps his father). Thankfully, Kyunghoon is excited about his boyfriend coming back from Canada, and this gave Myungha the push to face Yeowoon properly. We left on the two of them having their first kiss. Also, the game is glitching.
Yes! Give him kissing lessons! No more stiff kissing in BL! Lessons start immediately!
Episode 6: Love
I like that at least Myungha is interrogating the ethics of dating under these circumstances. Sure wish another show was doing that.
Yeowoon is so earnest. I love this boy. I can’t wait to see all of Shi-a’s advice.
Myungha cries after watching what sounds like a Godzilla-King Kong-zombie film! I love him!!
He is 18 and he wants to kiss! I feel that, Yeowoon!
Shi-a! You interrupted the date!
Now we have to make him an idol? I don’t know that Yeowoon wants that kind of scrutiny.
Yes, go on and kiss the boy!
I’m with Sangwon. This IG thing seems like a bad idea.
Oh shit! We’re glitching!
I like the big wave Yeowoon does when he sees Myungha now.
Okay, that street scene was cute.
Oh ho! Is the writer trying to reach Myungha inside of the game? How did he put him here in the first place?
It’s super trippy that Myungha can see these notices from the game.
I love the idea of a character rejecting fate in a game world where the options are predetermined by the designers.
Tae Myungha better not die!!!
My precious boy is being stalked, too? It’s always something, goddamn.
This dude really ran up and snatched Myungha’s phone. I’m glad Sangwon checked him on this behavior.
Oh, a breakup flashback. He’s bi, girls.
Yeowoon definitely thinks he just got invited over for a night of intimacy. I hope Myungha realizes that.
Ah, the classic cruel video game choice: choose which person you love to die.
That’s a good cliffhanger.
Things are starting to move really quickly with the plot. It works well because they show the game itself falling apart, like the devs are dealing with a project spiraling out because of too many player choices to accommodate. Throwing an element of major danger into the story narrows the field back to make the players focus on the biggest issue. I feel like there’s going to be a lot to discuss about the structure of this story when we’re done. I remain deeply-compelled.
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Saw The Boy And The Heron today lads:
The first 2/3rds of the film are probably some of the best Ghibli work I have seen. It has this strong commitment to simultaneously intense realism and purely ungrounded magical realism. In particular, its fantastical elements were grounded in physicality and their own realism, not pure whimsy. Its worldbuilding is done as much as possible on the artistic level.
The last 1/3rd does collapse into typical Ghibli-ism - essentially its a story that lacked a strong focus on plot, but then decided it couldn't commit so whipped one up. The first part is like an adult Miyazaki's Alice in Wonderland; and then it transitions to a child's version. Still fun, but disappointing.
I definitely liked the Shinya Ohira fire scene as much as the next dude but y'all sakugabros are fucking obsessed, it was not that big of a scene in the movie lol. I personally found its most standout artistic choices to be in the backgrounds & design work - as other works have 'caught up' with the animation detail that older Ghibli films, with their budget & talent, used to stand out on, those elements is where their comparative advantage now lie imo.
This is twice now Miyazaki has teased me with a grounded, fully realized period piece about the politics and society of wartime Japan and then veered off into a totally different story and I am irate, I am pissed, he is so good at depicting its intricacies just fucking commit!!
Speaking of, there are multiple references to when "the war" began and they are all pointing to 1941 - apparently 4 years of war with China doesn't count! This isn't out of step with Japanese historiographic periodization or anything, just very amusing.
There was more than one moment where I thought I was inexplicably keeping up my recent track record of stumbling onto incest media; Himi gave out vibes, man.
Overall very good, I definitely recommend it. It certainly as well has the air of one's "final movie" - its thematic arc is a distant parallel to End of Evangelion in a sense, where one is given the choice between fantasy and reality and chooses reality. Done infinitely less deftly than EoE, for sure, but for a movie that is an artist's almost certain last foray into the world of art in that way, its still impactful. Discourse about Miyazaki is one of those things where the quantity has a quality of its own - the extent to which people discuss and debate his work is proof of its power, and for his final movie to elevate the talents of so many others working for him, giving them reign on their own sections & ideas, before closing the door on his own contributions feels right.
Unless he makes another fucking movie of course and ruins it.
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🧡
Hii how was ur day?
Can you do one where Harry and y/n (y/n is a famous actress btw, she is a very famous avenger and is super friends with the marvel castand harry is really jeoulous of tom holland bc he has a crush on her and all and he even makes remarks about that through the interview :) ) are doing a interview and the intervier is keep on asking questions that is inappropriate to YN (like very touchy, looking at er in a sexual way almost harrasing her and asking her very sexual question and sexualising her) and she does not know what to say. And Harry comes to the rescue and like defends her and puts the dude in his place and gets really pissed at him. And that after the interview like how sweet and caring he is with her and all.? ❣️
Let’s not.
First off thank you! I’m good thanks How are you? And secondly thank you for your request! 🤎
Hope this is what you sorted wanted! Not massive in the marvel/endgame scene so I sort every changed that slightly I hope that’s okay? 😋
Warnings: cussing, pervy Interviewer, sexual harassment!!, uncomfortable setting.
— — — — —
Y/n fiddled with the hem of her dress that sat above her knees as she sat on the directors chair that had her initial printed on.
The scene in-front of her was slightly terrifying, the professional cameras, the white backdrop to allow better lighting, the microphones held by several men, it was an overwhelming setting.
The empty chair directly in-front of her was playing on her mind of how was this was gonna go, what questions will he ask?, what If I sound stupid? What I ruin the movie?, what if I make myself look stupid in front of all these people including my boyfriend???.
Her Train of thought was brewing around in her mind, the what ifs and the buts.
“Hey pretty” a familiar voice asked, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“Hey H” she said snapping out of her thoughts and back into reality.
“Look Like y’seen a ghost m’darling what’s up?” He said handing her a warm coffee he purchased.
“Oh thank you, and nothing m’fine” she smiled and waved her hand, taking a sip of her drink.
“Baby” he sighs.
“Y’nervous?” He asks placing his palm on her exposed knee.
“Mhmm” she hummed
Without another word he wrapped his arm over her shoulders and kneeled to her level making sure to press a kiss to her temple.
“No need to be nervous m’darling, you’ll do amazingly” he said gently into her ear and leaving his chin gently on her free shoulder.
“And once y’done we can Go Grab Dinner alright?”
“3 Minutes till shoot!” A producer yells allowing all to hear.
“I love you, and I’ll be watching you as always” he said pressing a lingering kiss to the girls cheek.
“I love you too H” she smiled, feeling slightly more confident then before.
“Enter mark jones!” The producer states opening the door.
Y/n’s Heart Drops, it’s nearly time, mark jones was the interviewer who was going to be speaking to y/n.
“Hey y/n! I’m mark and I’m very much looking forward to Interviewing such a beautiful lady as yourself” he says stepping forward between the couple and throwing his arms out for a hug.
A hug? Y/n thought a Hand Shake would be more appropriate, but she went along just thinking he was really friendly.
However just to contrast, Harry’s smile had already been wiped off his face, it’s just a hug he told himself.
“Please let’s begin!”He said pulling his chair closer to hers, that didn’t go unnoticed by H.
— — — — —
“3,2,1, lets go”
“So we Are joined by the lovely y/n y/l/n, who recently has made and joined in various amazing upcoming films!” He exclaims.
The camera flips to y/n.
“Thank you for the introduction mark” she smiles
“No but, thank you for having me!” She adds
The interview starts off strong and positive and many questions about y/n’s carer and acting life to which y/n responded appropriately and better than she ever thought.
Meanwhile Harry’s eyes were glued to his girl, the way she spoke, smiled, spoke to camera and spoke in detail about what she loved made him feel absolutely complete.
However mark wanted more and more Information from this girl.
“So y/n we all know your a gorgeous girl” he says
“Oh thank you” she smiles, shyly putting her head down.
“I mean it” he says scanning the girl up and down not noticing one bit that y/n’s mood had simmered down and noticed his creepy actions
“When you were working on set you must’ve been absolutely eye candy to your coworkers” he suggests reaching his fingers out and tapping her knee.
Harry on the sideline immediately perked up and noticed his actions.
“Mate chill, ya gonna lose circulation in your hands if y’keep up” one of the set workers mentioned.
Looking down to his hands, just to see his tightened fist.
One more chance he thought.
“Well, my coworkers were actually really respectful and understood boundaries very clearly, unlike some people” she smiled feeling satisfied with her confidence.
‘That’s my Girl’ he thought to himself
“Well y/n, i don’t know if I could control myself near you” he says with a loud laugh.
What is that suppose to mean.
“What’s the chance of one night toge-“
“Have you got anymore questions about the movies?” A voice off of set asked
Thank fuck for Harry’s presence, she thought.
“Hey?” He said turning to Harry who was
“Yeah i mean, let’s keep on track” she phrases blowing a tiny kiss to Harry who kept all eyes on his girl.
“This will Not make the Final Cut” he smirks.
Luckily for the both, mark managed to ask more appropriate questions and movie related stuff.
“Now onto your relationships!”mark exclaims.
“Oh right” she smiles.
“So How Long have you been with this young man?” He asks peering over to the man now currently beaming at his girl.
“Oh so This is Harry, he’s been in my life 4 years now, and yeah..uh best years of my life really, never been so happy” y/n smiles making eye contact with the man during the last sentence.
“Wow thats lovely n all but, aren’t you scared your just another slut?” He asks just so causally.
“What?” The girl asks eyes wide and completely taken by surprise.
“Let’s Not mate, let’s not” Harry interjected.
“I’m being honest mate, how many ladies have you had while with this one?” He laughs
“What the actual fuck” y/n said under her breath.
“You know what, I’m not continuing” she said removing her mic pack.
“Love I’m being super honest here” he said reaching out his arms and moving over to her.
“No,no,no y/n is not y’love And no way in hell are you getting your hands on her” he states edging his way in-front of y/n
“Y’here to talk about her talent and her carer” he added.
“Shes None of that, shes just a walking Sex machine And thanks too you shes famous” mark jerked
“Thats a fucking enough from You mate” Harry stated fists getting tighter and eyes getting darker.
“I think You Need to fuck right off before I bust your arse” he says blank faced and serious.
“My girls so passionate and all you want to know is if she’s a slut? Fuck off mate” he continues.
“Well y/n we will not be interviewing you nor ever releasing this interview enjoy your flailing career” the old man spat.
“Whatever, I don’t need this shit” y/n says picking up her stuff and taking her Harry’s hand and slowly heading out.
— — — — —
The car drive was quiet, not a bad quiet, but it wasn’t energetic.
“Y’alright darling?” He asks taking one hand from the wheel And Locating it on her thigh.
“Yeah, m’cool” she smiles, playing with his rings.
“You?” She asks
“Apart fron fucking pissed..Yeah” he states.
“He didn’t touch you did he?” Harry said glancing over at the girl by his side, eyes as serious as ever.
“No, no, thankfully” she sighed.
“Just so uncomfortable, it was all so awkward” she said cringing at the thought
“Fucking hell” he Said taking her Hand bringing it up to his lips and leaving a kiss there.
“M’fucking sorry you had to even speak with that twat” he says gripping the steering while tighter then before.
“Hey S’okay, no one got hurt or injured, and it’s not y’fault angel” she smiles.
“And besides v’got better events coming up, missing his interview means nothing” she sighs.
“He will never speak to you again darling trust me with that” he says
I’m sure H, but on a lighter note” she smiles
“Where we going for dinner?”
— — — — —
Bit sucky towards the end my apologies! 😭🤎 let me know your opinions I really hope you enjoy this! ❤️
#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#my fic writing#harry styles au#harry styles blurb#harry styles x y/n#fluff#anon answered#anon request#harry styles imagines#harry styles x fem!reader#y/n#harry styles writing#HS#Harry Styles one shot#harry styles fluff#angst if you squint
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Not a one time thing
Pairing: Ghostface! Aemond Targaryen x reader x Ghostface! Jacaerys Velaryon
Word count: 3,179
C.W: cussing, mentions of murder/serial killings, Ghostface, Aemond, Ghostface! Aemond, Ghostface! Jace, Jace (These are deadass all warnings on their own), fem reader (could be read as otherwise but is fem focused), dom Aemond, dom Jace, sub reader, praise kink, oral (reader receiving), very slight fear kink, p in v, threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), double penetration, soft sex, slightly rough sex at times, fingering (reader receiving), slight dumbification, sub space, overstimulation, tummy bulge, slight breeding kink, slight edging, reader doesn’t know that Ghostfaces are Jace and Aemond at first, nicknames (pretty girl, angel, sweetheart, good girl, baby, many more omg), poc friendly, reader is meant to be shorter than Jace and Aemond, reader has hair that’s at the very least shoulder length, don’t mind me just projecting
Part 2
Author's notes: I tried lol, this is the first smut I've written and first fic and smut in second person I've written so hopefully it's good. Enjoy :)
The phone rang loudly, the sound echoing throughout the house. The shrill ringtone of the landline, something that nearly no one had anymore, was a deafening noise in the silence that currently occupied the home. The sound made you shudder, nearly covering your ears from the high pitch of it.
Recently, there had been quite a few people who had gotten phone calls on their landlines. All of them ended up dead. Maybe the killer has something against landlines, perhaps they had something against what others called “vintage” (but let’s face it, landlines aren’t that old). Now in hindsight, it was a bad idea to pick up but hey you only live once right and also you may or may not be kind of stupid? It wasn’t easy to ignore the ringing anyway, so you did what any insane person would do and picked up the phone.
“Hello?” Silence. For a moment, you could hear shuffling and then a greeting followed by your name being said by a rather attractive voice. It seemed heavily modulated but there was no denying that it sent a tingling throughout your body.
“Yeah? Who is this?” You asked, having not recognized who this could be. Why would someone be calling you on a Friday night? Looking over to the clock on the stove, its bright green digits read ‘11:51’. It was getting late and you couldn’t sleep, so you opted to watch a horror film because that’ll put you to sleep.
Popcorn bag in one hand and landline in the other, you moved towards the microwave and put the bag in once removing the plastic from it. Setting the timer, you hear a response.
“No one in particular. I just wanted to talk, pretty girl.” The name made you blush although with everything going on, this phone call left an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach.
“Jace, is this you? You know how I feel about prank calls, douche. Do I need to tell Aunt Nyra what you keep in that box under your bed-”
“This isn’t Jace, sweetheart.” The voice said. “Although, I am intrigued by what it is he keeps under his bed.” This was getting weird. Who could this be? Sounded like they knew Jace.
“Okay seriously man, who the fuck are you? I’ll have you know my boyfriend is a highly trained martial artist and athlete.” Maybe this wasn’t the brightest idea but hopefully it’d get the creep to stop. With any luck, this wasn’t that landline murder dude.
“Ahh yes, how could I forget?” He asked rhetorically. “What was his name again? Aemond Targaryen?” Goosebumps. How did he know? Maybe you did know who this was, maybe this was a stalker.
“You look so pretty right now, angel. Those pajamas really compliment your skin and body.” What the fuck. How could he see you inside your own house?
You were wearing a pretty cami and shorts, both trimmed with lace although they both seemed just barely long enough to cover anything. He saw you in this. The thought made the color drain from your face. Collecting your thoughts, you jumped into action. Running over to the large glass of the door that led to the porch, pulling the curtains to cover it. Then making your way to the front door and ensuring it was locked, you went to the side door. There it was, open all the way. The light outside by the door was flickering making the sight even more unsettling.
“Oh, do you want to see me? Come and find me, baby.” He nearly purred out. You could hear the amusement in his voice as you let out a sharp gasp. Bolting to the door, you move to close it. Luckily, no one was by it but that meant one of two things. He was either still outside or worse, he was in the house.
“Look I’m sorry if I did or said something wrong, okay? Just please leave me alone, please.” You were genuinely afraid. For all you know, by the end of the night you could be another kill to add to the count. At your plea, there was a chuckle.
“Oh just when I thought I couldn’t fall more in love with you. I love it when you beg.” And then, you heard a thud. It sounded close, down the hall maybe. You slowly made your way down the hall, keeping each step quiet.
All of a sudden, the line went dead. The end tone was so loud you dropped the phone. As it dropped, a tall black figure popped up and pushed you against the wall in the hallway. You let out a scream and held your breath, as though that might make you disappear. Slowly, you looked up and came face to face with the lunatic landline killer himself.
His right hand was on the wall by your face and his left rested leisurely on your hip. The hand on your hip pulled it forward, your lower halves flush against one another. You feel his hard on poking you and for some reason, it sends a hot flash to your core. The hand that was on the wall moved to caress your face gently, slowly moving towards your chin and tilting it, forcing you to make eye contact. Your eyes widen, heart beating inhumanely fast.
“So beautiful,” The same voice from the phone says. “And all mine.” He finishes, leaving you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion.
His hand goes from your face to the hood of the long black gown he wore, pulling it down and taking off the mask to reveal Aemond. Your Aemond. He stood there in all his glory, looking almost too attractive to be mad at. Almost.
“You ass! I thought I was gonna die.” At this, he pulls you into a tight embrace. A comforting hand stroking your hair and the other holding you tight while his pretty pink lips left a light kiss on your temple.
“I’m sorry, love. You know I would never hurt you.” He says, pushing you lightly away from him and cradling your face in his hands. You look back into his beautiful blue eye, the other nearly white with a jagged scar running down it. You both lean in and meet in the middle for what starts as a tender kiss. To say the kiss melted away any worries and fear you had was an understatement. It was as though everything dissolved into nothingness as Aemond held you so tenderly, with so much love as though you would shatter if he held you too tight or if he kissed you too hard. He gently nipped at you bottom lip, his tongue poking out very briefly to lick it and resume kissing you softly and moving away from the wall, towards the middle of the hall.
If you focused hard enough, you could ever so faintly hear the sound of the side door opening and closing. Just as soon as your attention went back to Aemond after hearing the sound, you were once again drawn out of your cloud by another pair of hands joining Aemond’s own. A body pressed to your backside, one hand resting on your hip as the other moved your hair to one side, the tickling sensation making you part from Aemond and jump slightly. You look over your shoulder and see Jace. Yet another gasp escapes you, now feeling both him and Aemond poking you, one from behind and the other from the front.
“Jace?” You ask, voice just barely above a whisper. Jacaerys Velaryon was your dearest friend, having known each other since diapers and the crush you had on him all these years didn’t help. He looks down at you, wearing a similar black gown to Aemond. His warm brown eyes full of nothing but adoration. He smiles at you. He says your name in such a way that it makes you weak, legs shaking ever so slightly.
“I called him here, my love. I’ve always known of your affections to him, I thought maybe I could share you for one night. Anything to make you happy.” Aemond’s tone is so soft, his words carefully crafted to not overwhelm you. Not yet, at least.
“Wha-” You’re interrupted by Jace turning you to face him, his lips barely touching yours. He pauses.
“Say the word and I’ll stop right away. Okay, pretty?” His tone was just as gentle as Aemond’s had been moments before. Looking at Aemond who gave you an encouraging nod and looking back to Jace, you nod as well. You want this, you really truly do. Without any further hesitation, Jace moves his lips back to where they were before, leaving the smallest gap. He waits for you to make the first move and you do.
The kiss is everything you thought it would be like. It was slow, sweet and soft and just so Jace. While you were kissing Jace, Aemond moved away for a moment. He backs up just enough to let his hands wander. They move towards your top first, tugging the thin straps of it down your shoulder. His hands went to grip your waist as his lips made their way to your neck. He left a gentle peck, momentarily pulling your attention only to be pulled back to Jace when he kisses you with more fervor.
“My love?” Aemond calls, fingertips brushing your bare shoulder. You and Jace pull apart, both panting and catching your own breaths. You look towards him, still panting slightly, and hum.
“Perhaps we should move to somewhere more comfortable, to our room?” He asks. You nod and are immediately taken by Jace, into his arms bridal style. The pair lead you up the stairs, to your room at the end of the hall on the right of the second story. Aemond opens the door, taking off his black gown to reveal a white shirt that clung to his torso oh so deliciously and a pair of jeans that did little to hide his hard on. Jace does the same once he places you on the bed, Aemond making his way to your side.
Aemond moves his hands to your top, looking at you briefly before taking it off completely. He makes sure not to rip it as your breasts are exposed to the cool air of the room, nipples hardening even more at the temperature. Jace moves towards your other side on the bed, hands lingering on your sides just beneath the breasts before making their way to the waistband of your shorts. Tugging the shorts and your panties down in one swift motion, also very careful not to rip the delicate fabric. This was his and Aemond’s favorite set you wore, they couldn’t risk ripping it especially since it made you look so innocent. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this very situation. It was so painfully obvious he wanted you, that’s why Aemond offered this to him. They were killing together, if his baby wanted then they could fuck together too.
Aemond, becoming uncomfortable in his jeans, quickly yanked them off alongside his shirt. Jace decides to follow suit and they both return to your side before you even realize they are gone. This whole ordeal left your mind in a haze, now clouded by nothing but sheer lust and desire. All you wanted was them, all you needed was them.
Jace’s hands immediately go to your breasts, pinching the nipples and rolling them between his fingers. You let out a small moan at this, causing Jace to smile. Aemond moves his own hands lower, down to your core. His fingers tease your clit, after hearing a prolonged whine of protest from you he concedes and pushes a finger into you. He pumps his finger slowly at first and gradually picks up pace. You let out a louder moan this time and then a squeal when Jace takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking and tonguing at it. His other hand fondles the other breast, giving them both the attention they deserve.
“Don’t hold back, darling. Let us hear those pretty sounds.” Aemond says, adding a second and third finger and moving his face down. He begins to suckle on your clit harshly, fingers now pumping at an unrelenting speed. Jace finally stops his own attack on your breasts, having moved to the other one a moment ago. He now prompts to kiss your lips, planting short pecks on them and moving to your neck. He sucks and bites until he reaches a spot that causes you to gasp. He smiles against your skin, moans increasing at the dual stimulation. Aemond smiles too, taking his fingers out and replacing this with his tongue as a finger goes to rub your clit. You let out moan after moan, the stimulation too much but not enough at the same time.
Aemond takes one of your legs, moving it to rest on his shoulder and not even a second later you nearly scream. You were oh so close now, he knew this and Jace knew it too. Jace moved to leave love bites on your breasts as Aemond detached from your pussy long enough to say “Come.” and resumes his task. Your body spasms and you scream out, Aemond riding out your high and Jace kissing you once more, one of his hands holding your own close to his heart.
Aemond comes up from between your legs, his face glistening with your juices and he leans in to kiss you, pushing Jace’s face away. You can taste yourself on him, both of you moaning into the kiss and Jace drawing little circles on your thighs. Aemond breaks the kiss, looking at you with adoration once more. He takes his cock in his hands, pumping it a few times and lining it up with your pussy.
“Been such a good girl for us, love. Our good girl, yeah?” Jace asks rhetorically, you nod to what he says.
“Ready for me, sweetness? I’ll need you to use your words, okay?” Aemond asks, looking for any signs of hesitation.
“Am ready,” You say quietly. “Want this. So much. Aem, Jace please.” You look between the two of them. They look at each other before returning their attention towards you, both smiling widely. They knew that this was the only thing you could think about now and knowing they had this effect on you just made them even harder. Aemond slowly inserts himself inside, inch by inch going deeper as your pussy swallows him.
“So wet, my love. So tight.” Aemond groans, hips stuttering and stopping when he’s fully inside. He waits a few moments to let you adjust, beginning to thrust when he sees you nod at him. His pace is slow at first, much like how most of this whole ordeal has been, and increases as time passes. He thrusts faster, harder, with more and more fervor. He couldn’t get enough of you; how tight you are, how wet you are. No matter how many times you have sex, or make love, he can never get enough of you. Your pussy clenches so beautifully, his cock twitching and pulsing as he gets closer to his release.
All of a sudden, he stops. Aemond flips the two of you over so you are now on top of him, he begins to thrust again. Even faster, harder and at such a delicious angle that it has you seeing stars. But once again, just as you are near your orgasm, he stops.
Another pair of hands come to rest on your waist, just above Aemond’s. You whine and try to move up and down on Aemond’s cock but two pairs of hands hold you in place.
“S’okay pretty baby, it’s just me. Can’t leave me out of the fun now can you?” Jace asks teasingly, you shaking your head just wanting a release. Jace chuckles at your desperation, Aemond joining too. You whine, wanting nothing more than to orgasm again. You were so close and it was taken from you after all. Jace takes his own cock in one hand, the other still on your waist. The head rubs on your folds, right by Aemond’s cock, him letting out a quiet moan.
“Well get on with it,” He urges. “Can’t you see our good girl is needy.” And with that, Jace slowly inserts his own cock beside Aemond. The stretch was a bit painful, both not being small in size, but at the same time the sting felt good. Once Jace was fully inside, all three of you let out a moan. Jace and Aemond could feel you squeezing them both, trying to accommodate their sizes. A minute passes, then two and you begin to relax.
“Please.” You let out a quiet plea, and who were they not to oblige their sweet baby? Both men begin their thrusts, slow and steady. Jace thrusting in as Aemond thrust out and vice versa, never leaving a moment where you weren’t full. A bump appeared on your stomach, Aemond letting out a quiet ‘fuck’ when he sees it. He places his hand on it and pushes down, all three of you letting out a moan. You all were so close to finishing now, Aemond and Jace picking up the pace now. Not soon after, you came. The orgasm was long and hit you with such a force that you slumped onto Aemond, body completely giving out on you. The pair continued their thrusts, chasing their own orgasms now.
Their thrusts become faster and faster, close to their own releases. Aemond comes first, his cum shoots into you and painting your walls. You moan out of overstimulation, Jace coming soon after Aemond and both of them fucking it all right back into you. Finally, Aemond lifts you slightly and removes his cock, Jace following suit and leaving you empty.
Jace moves you to lay on your back on the bed, both admiring you before Aemond moves to get a washcloth. He cleans you up as Jace calms you when you whimper and move away, so sensitive to the touch now. Tears begin to roll down your face, Jace kisses them away. Aemond picks your limp body up, taking you to the bathroom now to pee. He wasn’t going to risk any infections, not now and not ever. Once you two return, the three of you lie in bed. Your head rests on Jace’s chest and Aemond’s arms curl around you.
They both take a moment to look at you, your eyes nearly shut. You were so exhausted that you could sleep for days. Right before losing consciousness, you mumble out a ‘I love you both’ and drift off. Jace and Aemond look at each other briefly, their attention returning to you once more. They both knew that they loved you too. Now it was clear. This would definitely not be a one time thing.
#aemond smut#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#jacerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon smut#jacaerys smut#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd smut#hotd x reader#ghostface#ghostface x reader#scream au#ghostface au#modern au#please tell me this is good#this better be good#smut#x reader
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episode one
-- -- --
[The screen seems to blink; first black then a flash of many colours, before focusing and settling on the scene the camera is filming. Seven people sit squished together on a couch – the paladins of Voltron. Some look particularly happier about the predicament than others.]
Lance, Allura (beaming): Hiya, everyone!
[Allura ducks her head to whisper something at Lance. She is not very good at whispering, so her words are picked up by the microphone.]
Allura: Did I say it correctly? Hiya?
[Lance makes a ‘perfect’ motion with his hands.]
Lance (whispering also): You nailed it!
[Both teens nod resolutely at each other and turn back to the camera.]
Lance: You guys loved that first episode. We got…so many space e-mails.
Hunk (amused): I think we can just call them e-mails, buddy.
[Lance sticks his tongue out at him, playfully annoyed, and then turns to Pidge, who is squished next to him and scowling heavily. He nudges her.]
Lance: If it’s in space, I say space. Space goo, space castle, space lions. Right, Pidgey?
Pidge (deadpan): You have three seconds to explain why I’m here or I’m tasing you again.
Lance: Yeesh, dude, fine.
[He turns to the camera, smiling, but it is significantly more mischievous than before.]
Lance: I mentioned that I got several space e-mails. Several hundred, really.
[Pidge taps her wrist.]
Lance: I’m getting there! Holy moly!
[He huffs at her, then turns his attention away, dragging something from his pocket and stuffing it into his hands before anyone can see.]
Lance: ANYWAYS. After I sorted through all the various marriage proposals for Hunk and some of the most insane strings of sentences that have ever been uttered thought or posted – and I’m a bisexual thot, so that’s saying something; some of y’all are horny – there were some genuinely interesting questions. So I thought we could answer some of them!
[He waves the thing he took from his pocket, which is now clear to be a stack of papers. His announcement draws a mix of emotions; whoops of excitement from the Alteans, an exasperated and fond sigh from Hunk, a look of resignation from Shiro, a groan of distress from Pidge, and a look from Keith that can only be described as the same wariness one might have when approaching a feral animal. Uncaring of any negativity, Lance primly straightens the papers, holding one in front of him with great fanfare.]
Lance: We’ll start with some group questions. Ease us all into it. Oh, I forgot to mention that I used one of Pidge’s programs to pick these questions for me based off a few parameters, so I genuinely have no idea what they’re going to be. I thought it would be more fun that way.
[He clears his throat.]
Lance: ‘To the Voltron team – what’s it like living with the same people every day? Is it fun, like a sleepover? Is there someone who’s a particularly worse roommate than the others?’
Lance: Oooooou, drama.
[A moment of contemplative silence.]
Shiro: Most of us are pretty used to sharing spaces with people, I think. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve lived the majority of my life in a military facility since I was twelve, so.
All other humans: Same.
Pidge: Well, not that long. It is a little more new to me. But I lived with my brother and parents before all this, so I’m totally used to banging on the bathroom door in the mornings because someone is hogging it.
[She looks pointedly at Lance. He shrugs.]
Lance: I will not apologise for my commitment to looking beautiful. It pays off, and you are all granted the privilege of looking at me, so.
Keith (confused): You have to try to be pretty?
[Hunk chokes. Shiro whips his head to stare at his brother, wide-eyed. Pidge frantically digs around for her phone, then remembers the camera, looking straight at it with an evil grin. Lance’s jaw drops.]
[Keith continues to stare at the Blue Paladin in confusion, oblivious to the double meaning of his question.]
Lance (hoarsely): What?
Keith: I mean, you get the soap and wash your face and hair and body and go. How do you…make yourself pretty? That’s just something you are or are not, right?
[Shiro places his head in his hands. His shoulders shake.]
Shiro: Oh, dear God.
[Hunk is biting his lip harshly to keep from laughing. Pidge and Allura offer no such courtesy, giggling openly to themselves.]
Lance:...
Lance: Keith, tell me you’re not washing your fucking hair with bar soap.
[All embarrassment seems to be forgotten in favour of disbelief.]
Keith: Of course I am. I actually do wash my hair, you know. Frequently.
Lance: With fucking bar so –
[He takes a deep, calming breath, bodily moving himself away as if proximity to Keith will somehow make his own hair-washing habits degrade.]
Lance: I am done talking about this. You are the worst roommate.
Keith: What? How? Because I wash my hair like a normal person?
Keith: At least I do it fast! You’re the worst roommate because you take four billion years to brush your teeth!
Lance (screeching): This mouth is plaque and gingivitis free, you skanky hoe! I spend a normal amount of time in the bathroom, you’re just a knobhead!
[Before Keith can argue back, Hunk reaches over and places a placating hand on Lance’s head.]
Hunk: Sorry, buddy, but as your roommate of almost six years now, you spend an insane amount of time in front of a mirror. I don’t have enough time in the day to count how often it would make us late.
Keith (emphatically): See? Worst roommate.
[Coran hums disapprovingly.]
Coran: I’m not sure that’s true, Number Four. He does more chores than the rest of you.
[Various mutters of agreeance.]
Shiro: True. Who’s the worst, then?
Pidge: Well, Hunk is always sneaking into my workshop and rearranging my shit.
Hunk: First of all, shared workshop. I am simply meandering over to your half. Second of all, I wouldn’t have to snoop if you simply indulged my curiosity.
Lance (deadpan): The same curiosity that inspired you to build and code a device to break into my phone when I wouldn’t tell you the name of the person I was seeing?
Hunk: In my defense, you generally have bad taste. You’ve been mugged four times.
Lance: Privacy, Hunk. Snoops are the worst roommates.
Allura: But he makes us treats! Surely that must count for something.
[Hunk looks at her, adoring and playful.]
Hunk: Allura, you are my favourite.
[Allura beams.]
Allura: Thank you!
Shiro: Hm. I suppose we all have annoying habits, but we’re all pretty helpful, too.
Coran (teasing): How diplomatic, Number One.
Lance: Taking that as a cue to move on.
[He looks down at his stack of papers.]
Lance: Uh, a couple of these are pretty straightforward. ‘What is the best part of being a paladin?’
Keith (immediately): Helping people.
[No one voices protest.]
Lance (quietly): Next one.
Lance: ‘Do you have to train a lot?’
[Three humans groan in unison. Shiro looks amused. Allura looks huffy. Keith looks a little bit like a teacher’s pet.]
Pidge: All fucking day!
Allura (primly): That is a gross exaggeration.
Hunk: The only gross thing around here is how sweaty I get after the bajillion thousand years of training every morning. It is agony.
Lance: Agreed. I got so sweaty I broke out the other day. Broke out. Me. I had to be consoled.
[Hunk and Pidge both nod very seriously. Pidge places a reassuring hand on his shoulder.]
Hunk: It was a very difficult night.
Shiro (smiling): Next question, you dorks.
Lance: This one is for Allura! ‘Were you friends with the mice before the cryo pod or did you only befriend them after? If the former, how did you end up becoming friends with them?’
[Allura lights up, either at the first directed question being to her personally, or because she is excited to show off her pets. She immediately pulls the mice out of her pockets, where they had been peacefully sleeping, and they blink and yawn as they wake, scampering up her arms to rest on her head.]
Allura: These friends are new! They were little stowaways. If I had known they were on the castle I would have befriended them much sooner.
Coran: She is very fond of animals. She would spend hours as a child building careful and gentle traps for any ‘pests’ that roamed the castle and disturbed the residents, so she could safely free them.
[Lance feigns an arrow to the heart, collapsing dramatically backwards. Everyone else simply smiles fondly.]
[Allura barely notices, attention turned upwards to her pets, where she strokes them gently.]
Allura: I love my friends very much. They make everything…
[She pauses for a moment, expression saddening.]
Allura: They help me keep a piece of home.
[Shiro reaches over to squeeze her shoulder. She smiles gratefully at him. After a moment she turns to look at Lance, indicating for him to continue.]
Lance: Two more.
[He takes a moment to read the first, then grins, sharp and teasing.]
Lance: ‘For Hunk: so did you and Shay ever become an iiiiiiteeeeeem?’
[Hunk flushes red. The rest of the team snickers, teasing and poking at him.]
Hunk: I doubt there was that much emphasis in the space e-mail, Lance.
Lance: No, there was.
[Keith crawls over the back of the couch to lean over Lance’s shoulder. He turns to Hunk, smirking.]
Keith: It definitely does, dude. Big and bold.
Lance (smugly): Thank you, Keith.
[Hunk scowls.]
Hunk: Funny how it’s suddenly easy for you two to work together when it benefits you.
Hunk: But whatever. We’ve been in contact. We have to follow up with people, you know.
Lance: Oh of course, of course.
Keith: Exactly the kind of kindness we expect from you, Hunk.
Pidge: Standard procedure.
Shiro: I would even say it’s protocol.
Allura: I’d be disappointed if you weren’t following up, truly.
Coran: Astounded by your commitment, dear boy.
[Hunk sighs, long and heavy.]
Hunk: I hate all of you. Move on, Lance, or I’m leaving.
Lance: Okay, grouchy.
[He turns to the last sheet, reading it carefully. Suddenly, his face blooms bright crimson, and he flips the page over, slamming it onto his knees.]
Lance (hurriedly): My mistake! Misprint, there’s nothing on this page. That’s all for this episode, everyone, tune in for the next –
Keith: Oh, no you don’t.
[Keith leans over and snatches the paper from Lance’s lap faster than Lance can stop him. Lance screeches, lunging after him, but he is too fast, and besides everyone else but Coran piles on top of him, barring him from tackling Keith to the ground. The Red Paladin perches on the back of the couch, paper in hand, hair mussed and wild and smile victorious.]
Keith: ‘Do you really not remember the Bonding Moment –
[Lance lets out a scream of emotional agony.]
Keith: – or were you just faking?’ Bonding moment is capitalised, by the way. In case you wanted to pretend you didn’t know exactly what this is talking about.
Lance (stubbornly): I don’t.
[Three people pinch him at once.]
Lance: Ouch! This is extortion!
Pidge: Deserved extortion, you liar.
Lance: I had brain damage! I don’t remember jack about shit!
Keith (voice cracking) (again): I cradled you in my arms!
Lance: No way! Don’t remember –
Keith (threatening): If you say ‘didn’t happen’, McClain, I swear to God –
Lance: – didn’t happen!
Hunk: One day you are going to piss off the angry knife boy just so and you are going to get stabbed. And I might not stop him.
Lance: This place is the worst. None of you love me. Only Coran.
[Coran gently pats Lance’s ankle.]
Coran: I don’t believe you either, dear.
Lance: Well, that’s fine. I will simply wallow away in agony and despair.
Coran: You do that.
[Lance sighs loudly, then squirms his way out of his teammates’ hold so his head his peeking out, glancing at the camera.]
Lance (sagely): Remember this injustice, Lance stans. I know you’re out there. Avenge me.
[On that dramatic note, the video cuts.]
#thank u to everyone who sent in asks!!!#vld#voltron#lance#lance mcclain#keith#keith kogane#klance#pre klance#hunk#hunk garrett#hunk & lance#pidge#pidge holt#pidge & hunk & lance#garrison trio#keith & hunk#shiro#takashi shirogane#allura#princess allura#coran#coran coran the gorgeous man#team as family#longpost#my writing#fic#keeping up with the coalition#dramatic lance#the bonding moment
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I have to admit.... when I saw AL pull the classic "arm rub & sex face", my first thought was, "oh so she *can* act". I mean, it's not fooling anyone, and it's not *good* acting, but what a difference between this and whatever that was at the bafta red carpet lol. She just needed a fire lit under her ass (all the new speculation).
Much like her beef with the Swedish mags, this is a defense move. But it's not a great one, because MS isn't matching her energy. He does not care to participate one bit. So, unfortunately for her, this just makes the age difference all the more striking because she literally looks like she's just vapid arm candy for an aging celebrity.
Disclaimer: I'm not bashing aging or sugar babies, but I hope you know what I mean. It's not the image she seems to want and yet...
After all these acting schools she apparently attended you’d think she’d be an amazing actress but you can’t buy talent. Yesterday’s acting seemed on the level of an adult film which I assume wasn’t what she aimed for but the arm stroke with a smug face was a tacky choice. It stunk of desperation to prove something after she got roasted online.
However in her defence - it’s tough to act when the other actor is not playing along. And I have utmost respect for Michael who said I am not fucking playing along. He never looks. It would be natural to look and smile but he bites his teeth together and does not. I don’t know if they will finally force him to and stage a moment like GT/DT in order to force the narrative but so far it’s a nope from him.
He and David are putting so much money into promoting these women since end of last year and they looked exhausted - I hope they finally succeed and accomplish what they’re hoping for.
It is so surprising to me sometimes how so many people look at him and her, GT and DT, and don’t see how staged these relationships are. How the narrative has changed, one thing until BAFTAs, now change of plan, how planned and obvious it all is. How much AL is copying GT. How they’re following the same book. How they’ve been pushed since beginning of the year. How they push a narrative whichever works the best at the time to get them what they want and how clearly they change. How they had them act like celebrities with all attention on them, paid for articles, and woke up to sad reality that this fandom can kiss their asses but they will always want the dudes first so urgh have them, showing that they had the pic but withheld them to promote themselves instead. And fuck how much power a blind has. There’s zero subtlety in what’s happening. But. Denial is easier.
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